#louie sleeping because he's the baby

[kennahjune]

Teen Dad

Quite surprised there’s not a lot of these AUs considering how much Steve apparently sleeps around but anywho.

Teen Dad Steve who finds out one of the girls he’d slept with pre-Nancy is pregnant and he damn well intends on helping out however he can.

Turns out; helping means taking his son (his SON) and having full custody because the mom, no matter how much she wants to be involved, can’t take care of him.

Steve’s alright for the first 6 months of little Louie Harrington’s life.

But then his parents come home and shit hits the fan.

Which— fair enough. He was only 17 and already had a whole ass son, they were gonna freak out.

But kicking him AND aforementioned son out? With no where to go? No money? Barely a job?

That’s just fucked up.

But Steve makes do, and lives out of his car for no more than a month before finally landing his hands on a cheap trailer in Forest Hills.

He and Louie move in and sure, it’s rough. But he’s got a nice paying job at the Diner and yeah maybe he has to skip some classes to get extra money but it’s fine. It pays his bills and rent and that’s all that really matters.

It’s fine.

And then the second wave of Upside Down fuckery hits, and Steve’s suddenly in the hospital with a grade 4 concussion (whatever that means) and his top priority is to make sure someone is with Louie.

Enter Claudia Henderson, Dustin’s mom.

She takes care of Louie for as long as Steve is in the hospital and then some when Steve can’t be left unsupervised in case his head worsens.

And that’s how the Party is introduced to little Louie (as they all call him).

Steve’s stunned to find out that Mike and Lucas are so good with little kids, but the two of them love stopping by the Henderson’s (and later on the trailer) to see little Louie and offer to babysit for him whenever.

The other kids take a little bit of time to warm up to Louie (and the fact that Steve’s actually a parent) but when they do Steve never ceases to have at least one of them over.

And with all the racket brings in the attention of nosy neighbors.

Steve is well accustomed to nosy neighbors. Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln next door to his parents were always looking to snitch on him for something or other.

But Miss Bottomette and her grandchildren Noah and Casey were sweethearts. Steve didn’t mind having them over for dinner or going over there. Miss Bottomette was the one to teach him how to actually put his cooking skills to work.

Linda and Tom, a newly married couple down the road, were quite eccentric but that’s what made them charming. Steve found their dog, Dasher, quite the sweetheart.

And even Mr. Knowles, the grouchy old man next door to Miss Bottomette, seemed to take a liking to Steve and Louie.

It wasn’t long before the story behind the new boy in 2718 New Bird Ave was revealed: Teen Dad Kicked Out.

Then the whole town knew. And while most people were nice about it, even supportive of how he had taken a step into his child’s life, there were always those people who sneered.

Steve ignored them, loving the life he was working on making for himself and Louie in the trailer park.

The only neighbors he never seemed to meet, despite the looming presence, were the Munsons, right across the street.

Steve knew about the Munsons. Well— he knew about Eddie Munson; drug dealer who was on his second run of senior year. Steve actually shared a few classes with him.

He’d yet to meet the mysterious Wayne Munson, but that was to be expected with work schedules.

And then Steve was graduating, and his parents didn’t show up.

But that was totally fine. Cause the kids, Claudia, Joyce— even Hopper with El— were there. They held up little baby Louie while Steve walked the stage.

He’d heard rumors of Eddie Munson having to retake senior year for a third time— but he didn’t dwell on it for too long. Because sure, he missed more than his fair share of classes and scraped by with a C+ average.

But he did it.

And then summer hit, Dustin left for camp, and the mall opened up.

Steve picked up a job at Scoops Ahoy, cutting back on his hours at the Diner but still staying there because the money was needed and the tips were lovely.

And he meets Robin Buckley, and actually talks to Eddie Munson every once in a while when he stops in with his band, and lets the kids sneak into the movies because he’ll be damned if he robs them of a normal summer.

And then Dustin comes back and their reunion is short-lived because Russians are hellbent on torching non-existent information out of Steve and he’s busy getting his third concussion and then there’s a fucking flesh monster and Billy and Hopper for protecting them and—

It’s not a good night.

But then he’s rushed to the hospital and he tries to call Miss Bottomette only for the call to refuse to go through and shitfuckgoddammit.

Because what about Louie?

Miss Bottomette said she’d be alright watching Louie until Steve got home, but Steve wasn’t able to go home until someone was able to make time to take him home.

Usually, he’d lean on Hopper for this stuff, since his parents were out of the question. But—

But Hoppers dead.

So he’s stuck at the hospital for another day or two until finally, Claudia comes to pick him up.

He’s with Dustin in the backseat of the car, anxiously bouncing his leg and biting at his fingers and nails until Dustin gives in and just holds his hand. Robin’s there to, having been able to leave after the first night but coming with Claudia to pick him up. Steve’s relieved to have them both close by, even if his hands reach for Erica subconsciously.

His trailer’s empty when he gets home, and Miss Bottomette isn’t answering the door.

Steve’s on the brink of a full blown breakdown before Mr. Knowles— bless his heart— points them across the street.

The Munsons apparently have his son and have for a bit now since Miss Bottomette had a minor seizure and couldn’t be left alone with Louie. Mr. Knowles assured Steve that she and the kids were fine and staying with him for the moment.

Steve wasted no time afterwards sprinting to the Munsons and knocking on the door. Dustin and Robin are close behind him, Claudia waiting patiently in the driveway.

The door is answered by a gruff looking old man that’s taller than Dustin but slightly shorter than both Robin and Steve.

“You Harrington?”

Steve nods so fast he faintly wonders if that’s how bobble heads feels.

They’re let in in no time and the old man— the infamous Wayne Munson— calls out of Eddie.

Eddie Munson emerges a moment later with little Louie in his arms, bouncing softly on his feet to keep the baby calm.

Steve is in front of him in a second, scooping Louie gently out of his arms and into his own.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Dustin’s rubbing his arms and Robin his back. Claudia is talking to Wayne, explaining what had happened (or the cover story version at least) and Eddie is hanging back a few feet from the three of them.

Robin takes little Louie in her arms and shoos Steve to the couch to calm down.

“Let him meet his auntie, Steve. You take a minute to breathe now, yeah?”

Steve was led to the couch with a soft hand on his shoulder from Eddie Munson, and they sat side by side while Steve worked on easing his breathing and to stop fucking crying.

Eddie’s shushing him and after a moment (and a clearly pointed cleared throat from Robin) Eddie wraps his arms around Steve’s shaking figure.

They leave the Munsons’ trailer is promises of new babysitters and a new friendship.

And then the fuckery that’s 1986 happens.

.

First Part:

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 11)

Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten

Eight weeks.

It’s been eight weeks since the tour. Y/N grows more anxious with each passing day, waking from terrible nightmares alone. She finds Haymitch sitting on the couch, with a bottle in hand.

“You need to sleep,” he says after a long moment.

“I can’t,” she argues.

“Come here.” Haymitch waits until she is settled, with her head in his lap, before throwing the blanket over her. “Close your eyes.”

She nuzzles against his thigh, utterly exhausted but unwilling to return to the horror of her dreams.

In truth, that’s why he’s forsaken the warmth of their bed for the couch. They’re coming up on a Quarter Quell…and anything can happen in a Quarter Quell. He knows that better than anyone, after being reaped with double the tributes.

He peeks down. Her eyes are closed; breathing too fast, her muscles rigid. “You’re safe.” Haymitch murmurs, “it’s just you and me.” These whispers continue until she snores lightly.

He wakes with a hand still twined in hers and a kink in his neck, from sleeping upright.

Y/N doesn’t stir as he stretches and yawns to the patter of little feet on the second floor. Haymitch stumbles into the kitchen, flipping on the burner to start breakfast.

“Honk.”

He turns with the spatula in hand. Surely he is dreaming, or perhaps the years have slowly driven him insane. But he knows for certain that damn goose is not in his house, again. And if it were, it sure as hell wouldn’t have the audacity to honk at him.

“Get,” Haymitch warns, shooing the beast out through the back door. It wails at him all the while, rousing Y/N.

She rubs her eyes, trying to make sense of the scene. “Louie?”

“Honk.”

“Don’t say his name.” Haymitch grunts, closing the door harshly behind the animal.

Y/N laughs, “how’d he get in here?”

“I had the sliding door open for some fresh air.”

“Smells good,” she takes another whiff.

“I made breakfast.”

“Thank you,” she forces herself from the cushions. Brushing past her husband toward the bathroom.

Haymitch is in a better mood when she returns. Everest and Arista are seated at the island, scarfing down pancakes as Haymitch fills them in on the goose fiasco.

“I turn around and he’s standing there.” Haymitch points to the exact spot.

Arista gasps, resorting to his full name, “Louis.”

“Had to chase him out with the spatula.”

Everest chuckles, around a forkful of eggs.

“You didn’t hit him, right Daddy?” Arista looks up with those big eyes, the same color as Y/N’s.

“No,” Haymitch sighs, “I didn’t hit him.”

Y/N comes to collect her plate, standing beside Haymitch, opposite the kids.

“You can sit down.” He smirks, watching her take the first bite.

“I’m ok,” she bumps his hip with her own. They are fuller now, at seven months pregnant. “I’ll just hang out here with you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Stay with me forever.

“Hey mom,” Everest calls her attention.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think we can plant some of the seeds Peeta gave me?”

The geese have done a number on their garden.

“Yeah, we can do that.” Y/N agrees, wanting to soak up as much time with them as she can before the baby.

They haven’t talked much about names. Even the crib resides in one of the spare rooms, untouched, unprepared.

————————————————————————

“Oh, Katniss.” Octavia, of her prep team, has tears in her eyes at the sight. “You look beautiful.”

The Capitol has chosen this dress; the dress. The one she’ll be married in, though it needs quite a bit of alteration.

“Is that my dress?” Y/N chokes out. She thought it might be strung up in a museum somewhere, immortalized as one of Snow’s trophies, or sold to the highest bidder. She thought she’d never see it again; not now. Not on Katniss.

Katniss opens her mouth to speak. Though it isn’t her choice, she feels sick.

“She can’t wear this dress.”

“It’s what the people chose, dear. Because you’re a family,” Flavius explains. “Don’t you want Katniss to feel the way you did on your special day? We can always alter it again to fit your daughter, when the time comes.”

“No,” Y/N breathes, this can’t be happening, “no, where’s Cinna?”

“I’m here.” He emerges from the hall, scraps of ivory fabric draped over one shoulder.

“I need to talk to you, please.” Y/N is visibly shaking as Cinna follows her to the sitting room, closing the glass door so Katniss has no chance of overhearing. But she can still see them.

Her mentor’s frantic explanation, Cinna’s steadying hand at her shoulder as he listens. Gaze changing quickly from sadness to anger, mirroring Y/N’s. Cinna nods, one final time before Y/N squeezes his upper arm in parting.

“We’re going to make some changes.” The stylist says upon his return.

“Y/N,” Katniss calls from the pedestal, unable to go after her. “Wait.”

“I’ll be back.”

“I’m sorry.” Katniss apologies, for whatever she’s done.

“No, don’t be. It’s-” Y/N breaks off, “nothing. I just need to see Haymitch.” She rushes out before Katniss can get a word in.

Cinna begins sketching out a few new additions, taking away the old, making it new.

“Is there something wrong with this dress?” She asks, itching to remove it.

Cinna shakes his head, even he has trouble looking at her in it now that he knows. “Nothing we can’t fix.”

Katniss recounts the events to Peeta later that night, he doesn’t fully understand either.

“It’s like she was afraid of the dress…or what would happen to me while I was in it.” Katniss looks down at her hands. “Maybe something happened to her.”

Peeta swallows hard, the more they learn about the Capitol, the more reason he has to believe… “I think a lot of things happened to her.”

————————————————————————

Commander Thread arrives within the week. Tearing through the hob, taking away what little they have and screwing down a big metal whipping post in the square.

The chaos is not missed by the inhabitants of victor’s village, Katniss least of all. Pushing her way through the crowd to find the source of the tortured screams echoing out into the streets.

Interrupting Gale’s punishment earns her a black eye, with a gash underneath and one lash to the outside of her thigh, on the eve of the big wedding. When she stands again, she is faced with the barrel of Thread’s gun.

The first person to rise to her aid is the last person who should be standing between Katniss and a bullet. Shoving Katniss behind her with one arm, the other held protective over her growing child. Explaining who she is and talking him down. Thread recognizes her, Katniss too after a moment; if he kills them it will be his head on the chopping block.

Haymitch is fuming when he finds them there. Furious with both Y/N and Katniss for putting themselves in harm’s way. Peeta arrives on scene, another person for Haymitch to shove behind him without a second thought.

“You sure Snow wants four dead victors? Because that’s what we’re looking at here.” Haymitch reasons, holding both hands in the air. “It’s bad enough that you marked up Katniss’ face on the eve of the big wedding. My wife is carrying the most eagerly anticipated baby in Panem, all this stress isn’t good. Let it go…and we will too.”

“Fine,” the commander licks his lips, “but next time it’s the firing squad.”

“Excellent idea.”

The flogging is broadcast to the nation on a five second delay, cutting out just after Katniss jumps in.

No one sees past that point except the president. Again, the victors of district twelve have proven themselves to be a united front. A family of agitators beyond reason, who consider themselves above the law. Snow knows exactly what he must do and Plutarch already has a plan.

“It’s what we gamemakers like to call a wrinkle.”

————————————————————————

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the seventy-fifth year of the Hunger Games.”

Everest and Arista are off playing with Madge and Y/N’s parents, leaving the eldest victors of district twelve to sit silently in front of the projector.

“It was written in the charter of the games, that every twenty-five years there would be a Quarter Quell, to keep fresh for each new generation the memory of those who died in the uprising against the Capitol. Each Quarter Quell is marked by games of a special significance.”

Y/N skates her thumb over Haymitch’s knuckles hoping to comfort him.

“On this the seventy-fifth anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion, we celebrate the third Quarter Quell.” Snow pulls the card free from its envelope. “As a reminder that even the strongest cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors in each district.”

“What?” Y/N leans forward, surely she misunderstood.

Haymitch grips his glass with enough force to shatter it, broken shards falling to the floor. He is bleeding, but he can’t feel it. The anger, the fear, the rage swallows the initial bite of pain.

“The victors will present themselves on reaping day; regardless of age, situation, or state of health.”

Y/N examines his wounds, scarlet pooling across his palm and fingers.

“Leave it, angel.” Haymitch warns, needing it to tether him to reality. Proof that this is more than a nightmare.

“I need to check on Peeta and Katniss.” Y/N remembers, pushing past the clouded lens of her own mind. “Let me take care of you before I go.”

“I need you to leave it.” He says a second time.

“Ok- I,” there are no words. Not as she stands, or presses her lips to the crown of his head and leaves. Instead she focuses on her steps, one foot in front of the other.

Haymitch stays there, unmoving, allowing his blood to stain the pristine fabric of the couch’s armrest. The front door creaks open, enough to startle him to action, he doesn’t want his children to see. Instead he tosses the throw blanket over the evidence.

“Where’s Y/N?” Katniss demands, identifying herself as the intruder.

“Ah, it’s just you.” Haymitch whips the fabric off, using it to gather the broken glass. “Take a seat.”

“We have to save them.”

“Finally done the math, have you?” Haymitch muses.

Promises are easier to make than keep. Asking for Peeta and Y/N to live is essentially asking each other to die. That’s not something that Haymitch can bring himself to do. But he does agree to volunteer for Peeta; with a sneaking suspicion that Katniss will do the same when it comes down to it.

Y/N is good, kind and selfless. Katniss has known it from the day they trained together, on the mat of the tribute center, what feels like a lifetime ago. The same way Peeta is good, willing to stand by her, comfort and protect her, at his own expense.

“Haymitch!” The sound of it is awful, wretched from Y/N’s throat.

“What’s the matter?” Haymitch stands immediately, as does Katniss, rushing toward the entryway.

“I went to check on Peeta,” Y/N flies into his arms, closed eyes shining with tears.

“You’re ok,” Haymitch murmurs, smoothing down her hair.

“But I couldn’t find,” Y/N opens her eyes to find the very person she’s been losing her mind over. “Katniss.”

Haymitch releases her. Relieved that the cause of her anguish is nothing more than a misunderstanding.

“Katniss.”

Katniss embraces her, holding fast, like it might save her, like it might change anything. In Katniss’ mind there was always some understanding, that Peeta is to Y/N as she is to Haymitch.

They fit together crudely, like an ill crafted puzzle. Even still, Katniss can no longer deny that Y/N loves her just as fiercely. No different than her own child. “Sorry I scared you. I just had to get out of there.” My mom’s screams…Prim’s questions.

“It’s ok,” Y/N pulls back to look at her. Stroking her thumbs over the blotchy apples of her victor’s cheeks. “We don’t know who they’re gonna pick.”

Katniss nods, allowing Y/N to fuss about her. Needing it just as badly, though she would never ask.

“But we know all of the victors and depending upon the reaping, I have some ideas for potential strategies and alliances-”

“You know it’s me.” Katniss says finally, voice breaking over the last word. “If the only choice is you or me in that arena, I’m the one Snow wants dead.”

“We don’t know that, sweetheart.” Haymitch scrubs his unmarred hand over his face.

“And he’d prefer you dead over Peeta.” Katniss points out, not in the mood to sugarcoat.

“You’re right,” Haymitch admits. “We know the bowls are rigged, but we don’t know how. If they want entertainment and shock value, it’s gonna be us together.” He flicks a finger between himself and Y/N. “Or you and Peeta together. We’re all star crossed lovers now and I promise you, we won’t be the only ones. It’ll be lovers, siblings, friends. If Snow’s doing it to punish us.” Now the finger is pointed at Katniss. “He’s sending in Y/N and Peeta. If it’s simply to eliminate their problems, that’d be you and me, kid. And we won’t have any idea what their angle is until reaping day.”

Part 12

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating

[nani-nonny]

(A)PAF: Sibling moment between Casey Jr and his little sister

At this point I should admit I have no self control… anyways, another family fluff snippet that has very minor spoilers to the main story but honestly doesn’t spoil the plot.

Check the father-daughter snippet if you want more family fluff

Leonardo takes a sip of his tea in the kitchen, staring blankly straight ahead. He’s grateful for this moment of peace and quiet, especially after Lou’s crying that lasted all throughout the night. He was thankful Donnie, temporarily, soundproofed his train car because her crying would have kept everyone awake. He would rather deal with a crying baby than with the others’ sleep-deprived fury.

He knew parenting wasn’t easy, he had some experience with CJ. But he’s starting from scratch, so to speak. He only had to take care of CJ as a baby in short increments. Now he has to take care of a baby 24/7.

And just as he was about to take his next sip, Lou’s haunting cries echoed from his open train car. Sharp and nearly ear-piercing, it taunts him and his heavy eyelids.

With a sigh, he takes his mug and follows the sound of her crying. Each step he takes it gets louder, and louder, and louder. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought she was pulling out microphones and megaphones for each step he took.

He steps onto the threshold and her crying suddenly stops.

Fear erupts in his chest and he braces the doorway to push him forward, but stops dead in his tracks when his eyes land on CJ sitting on his bed.

The teen is sitting pretzel style on the blankets, the back of a small green head barely visible in the gap of CJ’s legs.

His son is smiling wide, clicking tongs in his hands as his head bops side to side. The tongs click click click in his hands to the rhythm of the familiar song he sings to Lou.

“Tong tong tong tong, pakitong-kitong. Alimango sa dagat, malaki at masarap! Kay hirap hulihin, sapagkat nagangagat!”

CJ pinches Lou’s cheeks lightly at the final part of the song before kissing her diamond stripe. Lou giggles delightfully, her sharp chirps bouncing off the walls. She closes and opens her hands just like the tongs and trying to mimic the words CJ sings, but her little beak only opens and closes with small chirp sounds.

CJ takes a deep breath and sings slightly faster, clicking the tongs to match the faster rhythm, “Tang tang tang tang, pakatang-katang. Alamanga sa dagat, malaka at masarap! Kay harap halahan, sapagkat nangangagat!”

The teen pinches Lou’s cheeks again, earning those same sharp giggles that melt Leonardo’s heart. Tiny green hands reach up to pinch CJ’s face, opening and closing like a little crab. CJ shakes his head softly, a soft coo to his voice as he says, “Not me, Lou!”

CJ takes another big breath, dramatic and puffing out his chest as he does, but Lou suddenly chirps. It’s not a chirp of distress, but one that catches CJ’s attention and stops him.

Lou’s hands suddenly reach blindly behind her, closing and opening like a crab again.

“I’ve been found,” Leonardo teases and walks into the room.

“Sensei! I didn’t know you were there,” CJ greets and lifts Lou enough to stand in the gap of his crossed legs.

Lou chirps happily, tiny hands still grabbing the air like a crab in Leonardo’s direction. She coughs and suddenly yells in the smallest voice, “Da!”

Leonardo nods and takes her from CJ’s lap, lifting her into his arms and to rest in the crook of his elbow. She mimics CJ’s tongs clicking and head bopping, trying to sound out the words but they only come out as chirps and churrs.

She finishes the song by pinching Leonardo’s cheeks, a small effort that makes the father nearly collapse on his bed from how adorable her fingers felt. “Good job, Louie! You’re a little crab that bites,” he exclaims as he kisses her diamond stripe.

Lyrics: (it’s the same every verse but the vowels change)

Tong tong tong tong, pakitong-kitong. Crab in the sea, big and delicious. So difficult to catch because it bites!

[eatyourheartvalentine]

If the player ended up very sick in the hospital for some reason how would each of them react? And how would they act after they got out and were able to come home?

If his partner was in the hospital Allar would feel anxious to say the least. He'll probably spend a lot of time with them, sitting in their room and watching videos with them- or bringing fun little things to do. His goal would be to keep your mind in a good place during your stay.

Once you're out of the hospital and back home he's constantly checking up on you to make sure you're okay. He'll bring you food, help you with errands, and offer for you to stay with him for a bit to take care of you.

Mica is calm, depending on what it is you're sick with. The hospital in their city is pretty good, he would know after all. When he can be there with you, he is. He even skips out on his usual trip to the last enigma room to hang out with you while you're in there. If he's able too, he'll do your nails, or bring his Switch for you two to play on together.

When you're out of the hospital he's going to check in on your well being, but tries to keep it more casual so you don't feel awkward about it.

Josh is liable to want to baby you when you're in and out of the hospital. At the hospital he's complaining that they aren't feeding you well enough and that you should have something more hearty... He visits whenever he's not at work or school, and even sleeps there when they let him.

When you're home he's offering to stay the night until you're absolutely feeling better. Breakfast lunch and dinner are taken care of for you, he's doing your laundry, cleaning your house, and helping you plan out how you're paying your hospital bills. He's pretty money conscious, so he's probably helping you budget and helping to contribute.

Louie is pretty worried for once. He won't leave your side the entire time you're in the hospital, and he's giving the doctor and nurses a harsh glare anytime they have to prick you or make you uncomfortable or in pain.

He brings you snacks because he knows firsthand that hospital food isn't exactly the best. So who's gonna stop him from bringing in some of your favorite fast food? It'll help you heal faster.

Once you come home Louie is almost tempted to keep you locked up. Whatever got you sick in the first place, you probably won't encounter again if he keeps you in a safe, clean environment.

[eldritch-elrics]

actually i lied. i'm not going to sleep i'm going to talk about plasm wraith.

why does it want olimar so badly? here's a couple thoughts i had.

first of all, it's got a hole in its face. i wonder if that could symbolize some sort of incompleteness. (a la fecto forgo/elfilis from kirby...!) it wants olimar because it's decided that he will make it whole, maybe? bit of a stretch, but olimar does call attention to that hole so i'm wondering why it could be there.

regardless, i bet it's lonely. all the other enemies in that area turn into goop when you kill them, so it seems like it's created this whole ecosystem by itself... perhaps to keep it company? to keep olimar company? i'd say it's implied that plasm wraith is in some way sentient, so... man. that would be so sad!

the low-hanging fruit is the interpretation that plasm wraith's fixation on olimar is romantic/sexual. i think that's kind of boring. it's this weird inhuman monster; idk if it has a concept of "romance"! and i love monsterfucking & trying to make weird ships work out as much as the next guy, but eh, this relationship just seems too one-sidedly toxic. it's more interesting to choose different avenues of interpretation here imo. (though it's very very funny to make jokes about "yandere slimegirl," as me and my friends have been doing..)

personally - and i've only just started thinking about this so my thoughts may evolve later - i think it makes a lot of sense to view the plasm wraith's feelings as a twisted version of the pikmin's. the pikmin view olimar as something akin to a parent - perhaps the wraith views olimar as something akin to a child? it's very gentle with him, it "hugs" him, it forms itself into a protective shell around him... and it seems like it keeps forcibly activating his suit's sleep mode, perhaps to keep him calm or docile, or perhaps because it assumes he needs more sleep, like a baby...

"protection" is really the big theme i'm thinking about. it's not hard to read olimar's story in pik3 in contrast with his story in pik4. he crash lands on a planet, is in a sort of desperate state, comes across a weird creature, and the weird creature gets very attached to him and in a way keeps him away from others visiting the planet. though this time olimar's suit wasn't damaged, i wonder if the plasm wraith's instinct was to keep him in the oak (where there are no real monsters, only plasm clones) in order to protect him from the outside world.

(or maybe his suit WAS a bit damaged, and that's why it keeps activating sleep mode?)

as in that post i just reblogged - there's for sure a running theme of olimar's fate being intertwined with pnf404 and the creatures there. they love him so much, and sometimes it's wonderful and sometimes it's terrifying because it's a love that can't be understood in human terms. they want to keep him, because he completes them somehow.

finally, i'm wondering if louie met plasm wraith before olimar did (that's how he knows what it tastes like...) and that's why he warned him away from the oak. if so, what did the plasm wraith think of louie, i wonder?

[connectthedotsdummy]

Can I get some lore ab Tati/her brothers? :D I love sibling dynamics (also their thoughts on Joey! As a bonus if ur up for it!)

ohhh The ever lovely Etienne family. They're like royalty in the small town of Graveside. The wealthiest, most influential family, they straight up rebuilt the town with their own money and construction company so they are well liked and respected. I'll get more into that if people want it.

I'll start with the oldest for her brothers (Tati is the youngest so she'll go last)

Royal - 41 y/o He's an international super model, he's home the least but everytime he calls he always checks up on Tati. That's his baby. He's a very soft spoken man, bordering on non verbal, but he's extremely sweet- He doesn't know Joey that well but from Tati told him about him. He thinks Joey is a nice and sweet boy. Man also considers Joey a baby though. (Since Joey is 21 most of the story) i gotta work on him some more.

Zyair "Zee"- 40 y/o He's a highschool literature teacher. He has a 4 year old son named Ezekiel, who calls Tati "Aunty Tea". Zyair is extremely protective of Tati and does not like Joey and does not try to. He hides it somewhat because Tati gets mad at him over it. but Zyair sees Tati as if she's still a teenager.

Lucent "Louie" - 38 y/o He's the local librarian, he spent most of his time there as a teenager that when they offered him an assistant job he took it and it went on from there. he's not as soft spoken as Royal and can be pretty blunt (not harsh though, he believes you shouldn't be nasty when telling someone like it is). when he was a teenager, he told one of his moms that he's trans and that helped her realize that she's trans too, they exchanged names and have an annual mother son day every year. - Lucent likes Joey, he sees him often at the library which is a surprise to him because Joey looks like such a jock (he's not lol)

Mykel - 30 y/o He's the youngest older brother besides Po (Tati's twin). he never went to college, refused to go really, he makes most of his money from online entertainment like an 0nlyf@ns. Tati finds Mykel so annoying, that man gets on her nerves often, especially once he finds out about Joey. - Mykel loves Joey, he thinks that boy is so funny and cute, and thinks he's a perfect match to his baby sister's rudeness.

Kaipo "Kai" - 23 y/o Tati's twin brother. he's actually Joey's best friend so he has everything nice to say about him. Joey refers to him as "Po" cause it's cuter to him. but Kaipo runs a blog/video journaling called Weirdos in Washington, where he searches for proof of cryptids in the woods of Graveside. He's already finished with college and about to go to grad school, but he's taking a year off because Tati is so attached to him that he doesn't feel confident to leave her on her own. He wants Joey and Tati to get together faster cause he knows they like eachother, Joey is just silly.

Tatiana "Tiana" - 23 y/o Joey calls her Tati because he misheard her when they got introduced officially. They were actually roommates for a whole semester but because of conflicting schedules they never ran into eachother at their dorm. She actually talked to him for the first time at Po's dnd party, which she didn't want to go to but because one of their members bailed cause she turned down his affection, she felt obligated for her brother lol. anyway, Tati is THE Princess of graveside, and her business is everyone else's business. she never really has a moment to herself without someone gossiping about her. and it doesn't help that she has a habit of sleeping around and NEVER falling in love. So it was a big deal for everyone when word got out that their princess fell in love, and not just with anyone, but the new kid, that no one knows anything about. Especially since Joey definitely doesn't fall in line with Tati's type lol

[hippy-pants]

TIL: Every time you stifle a sneeze, the force of the sneeze cannot simply disappear from existence. It must manifest elsewhere, often causing a small creature to explode or a chef's hat to fly off into the air. La toque blanche. The chef's hat. Why is it shaped like a mushroom cloud? Because they both sure can cook. And why is a mushroom cloud shaped like a mushroom? Not many people know this, but out in the forest, right where every mushroom grows, there used to be a tiny Japanese city, so tiny that even David the Gnome could commit accidental genocide just by taking a poop without looking. Ironically, Gnome Poop is highly sought after in Japan, because of its mystical properties and because it tastes good on sushi for people who can't handle wasabi. Here in America, Gnome Poop's mystique is somewhat overshadowed by that of Unicorn Seed!, the hip new soda pop that all the kids are guzzling on the street corners. Its popularity has been hugely fostered by product placement in popular films. For instance, in the film "Muscular Hooker 2," Will Smith's character takes a dramatically-framed swig of Unicorn Seed! and then suddenly grows a CGI erection which extends into infinity, and then Will Smith's mind explodes and the movie ends. For that scene alone, Roger Ebert gives the film 3 and a half stars. Not many people know this, but movie critics have a finit amount of stars they can award in their lifetime. They are often kept in a vault, heavily secured to prevent a senile Scrooge McDuck from wandering in, mistaking the stars for gold coins, and swimming in them. This is for Scrooge's own protection, as the stars have sharp edges and would laycerate his body into a bloody, feathered pulp. If this were to happen, his will states that the entire McDuck fortune will go to his grandnephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie; and that his nephew Donald will get zilch because nobody understands what the Christ he is saying anyway, so who cares. As for Scrooge McDuck's body, it will be jerked and eaten, as per Scottish tradition. Indeed, cannibalism of the dead is a cherished custom in Scotland. When a Scottish boy's coming of age is celebrated (a ceremony known as the Scot Mitzvah) he is forced to consume his own great-grandfather, bones and all, in just 24 hours, or else the local Shaman will hit him on the head with a magical stick that stops him from ever becoming an adult. Now, you might think that eternal childhood wouldn't be such a bad thing - Never-Never-Land and all that jazz - but no! Once your parents are dead, there's nothing to stop you from eating nothing but sweets, as children all want to do, and when your baby teeth have rotted away, there will be no adult teeth to take their place. Toothless, stupid, and unkissed by the spirits of puberty, you will be banished from Scotland to the only place in this world where an awkward manchild such as yourself can ever hope to be accepted: Ireland. You will live as a leprechaun. You will don a false beard and a green bowler and stand on the streets jabbering about a nonexistent pot of gold. When darkness falls, you will sleep in an alley on a bed of night soil, clutching a potato, which will be your surrogate mother. If you are found by leprechaun poachers, your only hope for escape is to mesmerize them with a sprightly leprechaun jig, and then stab their eyes out with your leprechaun stiletto. Then you must run away to find another Irish hamlet, and the cycle will repeat forever until one of three things happens. One: the poachers get too smart for you. Two: you starve to death. Three: the stifled sneeze of a distant someone causes you to explode and die.

[msfbgraves]

(But there was one night when Terry was, for lack of a better word, simply mean. It was after a very bitter fight with Michael LaRusso.)

Oof. Bless Daniel’s tender heart, but Terry is giving me marital r*pe vibes here : / Yikes. Did Terry just come back home and snatch him away without warning?

Was Daniel frightened of him this night, did he cry, after in the shower? Was it…consensual, or dubious? Did Daniel want it, or did he resist?

I bet Terry and Michael despise each other! Was Daniel there when they fought, or did he only learn about this after?

When Terry apologized to Daniel the next day, what did the pups think was going on? Did Daniel forgive him immediately or…

Before I say anything else, this is not typical of them, this is one of the biggest crises they faced in their early years of marriage. But sometimes the toxic cocktail of power and danger the whole marriage was supposed to neutralise will rear its head.

And I think, part of Daniel likes things rough. Certainly not often, but the fact that Terry could crush him like a grape holds a certain appeal, as does the fact that he can fuck the madness out of him. So being 'taken' by a feral Alpha until he comes back to earth? Hot.

But this was Terry, angry at his brother Michael, apparently, taking it out on him and maybe the sex act wasn't even any different than anything they'd done dozens of times by now. It was the intent. And when Terry pulled him close this time it wasn't to hold him, but to trap him. But it does calm him, and Daniel by this point is not thinking of himself but of his puppies.

He cannot have this energy around his puppies.

So he nestles in close, whispers nonsense Terry may want to hear, because he needs to get back to them.

He needs to get back to them.

So he gets up, showers, lies down next to his babies and goes to sleep. Robby in his arms, Sammy, Eli and Yasmin draped bodily over him, like little human shields. Baby Gianni in a cot right next to Mama's head.

Terry knows what that means. He's done the same for his Mammy. After Katie, after Daddy's death.

He's crushed. The puppies may not understand what's going on, they can intuit it all too well. So he needs to show he's not a threat. Right here, in their sphere, he needs to get to his knees (that is huge for an Alpha, he can barely get himself to do it in church or even in private), needs to humble himself before their very eyes. He can barely sleep at the thought.

But he does it, and the pups are happy to see him, they love their Daddy, they need things to be well -

But Daniel is distant. He turns away, gets up, hugs his puppies good morning, shushes Sammy, goes for Gianni's baby things. His travel cot.

"Danny, no."

"I need to see my brother."

"Danny please."

'I'll ask Ma to come help you. Sammy, show Daddy where the sandwiches are? And you can heat up the extra pancakes. Fruit's in the fridge."

"Daniel."

"There's juice and milk, Yasmin likes her bubble water. Ragazzi, kitchen, now."

Terry grabs him. "Danny boy..."

Daniel's eyes are stone cold.

"My name is Daniele."

Terry never really finds out what exactly happened while Daniel was at the LaRussos. Lucille arrived by cab and let it take Daniel back to his father's. She pointedly informed Terry that they could take the pups anytime, for as long as necessary, 'just in case.' Louie blabbed years later that apparently, the Don had given Michael the dressing down of a lifetime. Don LaRusso pointedly informed Terry that night that Daniele had a slight fever and didn't want to risk infecting the puppies, he would understand. Any new business he and Michael were at odds about was off, period. You can't expand on shaky ground. On that note. He had booked passage to Sicily. Yes, near Corleone, where they'd had their honeymoon. It was unclear whether Daniele would be up for it, they'd have to see in a few days, but he'd expect a cheque regardless. Be ready to leave. Yes, it has to be this ship. Why, the captain of this ship was a family friend. Ah, yes. And Daniele needs his own car. Yes, in New York too. He likes Ferraris. And the Don will keep an extra set of keys in his house, just in case. And an extra set of keys to his own car, should something happen to this one. His son needs his own transportation. And he has access to his dowry money, of course. Of course, good man. They'll take the puppies for the time being. No it's no trouble. Why don't you come to lunch in three days to iron out the details. Louie will pick you up. No, it's no trouble, Terry, you heard me the first time. Bene. He doesn't know if his son will be there. Let's wait and see. Buona serata to you.

They end up having a great trip, actually, if Daniel misses his puppies. Terry takes him to Ireland next. They visit Amanda, and spend the last three days in Syracuse, from where they sail. The guest house has a great view, which is good, because they barely set a foot outside of it during Daniel's heat.

He returns home pregnant with Anthony.

The Don nods to himself at the news, then kisses his wife.

[eljeebee]

Hitting Milestones

Mama Sophie was busy preparing for her shift, and since it was Papa Jason's day-off, he's excited to spend a day with his son! It's Louie's birthday tomorrow, so he needs to at least make his son had the baby food milestone. When she left for work, he started Louie's day with a bath.

After that, he was left in his room for a moment. Dad has to take a quick shower, too, you know! And while alone, he learned how to creep in his crib!

Now, it was time for practicing sitting. Papa Jason brought him down and taught little Louie how to sit. And which he did! (I was so happy when he did this! He can finally sit at the high chair!!! 😭)

Now...he needs to explore baby food!

The first food he tried was yogurt. Unfortunately, Louie dislikes it.

And then...he gained a quirk. The little Louie is a messy eater! Louie earned himself a laugh from his Papa.

And theeeen...he cried, because he hates yogurt so much.

So, Papa Jason made him try papaya paste! He liked it!

It was a long fulfilling day, so Louie went to sleep early. Papa Jason kissed him good night.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. It was mostly just a sunny day where I got to be lazy and work for a few hours in the middle and that was just really nice.

I slept a little better last night. I really love my new bear Louie. He is a really great size for holding. The only real sleep issue I had was being a little cold.

I woke up with my alarm at 9. And laid in bed for a half hour before I finally dragged myself out of bed and made the bed and left the bed. This was very traumatic obviously. But I would struggle through.

I got washed and dressed but I hated my original outfit. It just did not work the way I had imagined. So I chose a new outfit and it was still not the best but it was more comfortable. I really love this orange sweater. But because it's acrylic it gets very hot very fast. Thankfully (?) it was very cold in here today.

I would spend the first part of the morning cleaning up a bit. I vacuumed and would continue battling the scourge that is the snails. I did just discover that the probable reason that the fish tank has not had the same issues is because loaches eat snails. So kitty kitty being alive this whole time may have been helping me. Amazing. So now I might get another loach for the frog tank. Or maybe a small catfish. We will see. Because it doesn't seem to be getting better. My periodic vacuuming of the excess food is helping for sure but not as much as I would hope. At least they are keeping the water very clear.

I really really wanted cereal. I heard once that if you are craving cereal it's an iron or mineral issue. So I got myself together and walked to the grocery store.

I got my cereal and a few other little things. And then right back home for breakfast. I had my cereal and Sweetp kept headbutting me. Being such a baby. We would lay together until noon. Watching videos. But then it was time to go.

I drove to awah. Parked and had a weird interaction with a woman on a bike. I was parking and she was acting like I was cutting her off and I was so confused. But it was whatever. I got myself inside and was just putting my things down when the phone started to ring???? A parent was there a half hour early. I was not happy. I hadn't even set up anything yet. I was alone. This was not cool.

But it would be fine. It just made that first half hour decidedly rushed. Because then I had my substitute assistant, Joan, come and Mary Ellen and I had to keep running back and forth and it was just a lot.

But in the end it was fine. The first class was quick! They all pretty much finished their work within the first half hour. I was.prrtty surprised. But they were still fun. I really enjoyed talking to them. Sierra specifically continues to open up to me. Her sister Tiffany continues to not like.paint, which is totally fine. But Sierra is always funny about dates and she was super concerned about when the last date she would be able to take classes ever was. And when we finally understood what she was asking I told her she could move to the adult class when she was 18 and then as long as we have the class she can keep coming forever. She's so sweet. I don't always understand her but I do like her.

Since everyone finished so quickly me, Mary Ellen, and Joan just hung out and talked. I told them about me and James DC trip and all the indigenous art we saw and how I got so wrapped up in that lately. Talked about puhtok and it was just really nice to chat. But soon it was the top of the hour and the adult class was coming in.

Overall this was a good class. There is one student who obsessively talks about movies and was driving another student, Brian, a little crazy I think. But eventually he calmed down and worked on his work and poor Brian was able to work in peace.

And then one of the student's aids came in with a very bizarre energy and was like can I put on music?? And I had to shut that down quickly because the last time I tried to play music everyone freaked. They like a quiet space. But I think she was surprised I told her no. She did make a very nice painting though.

Richard made 3 paintings and was teasing me which I thought was great. And it was just a really fun time.

Joan apparently normally works with preschoolers and she was I think a little unsure of what to do with herself when the group was so self directed. And honestly it's the best part about this group. Sometimes I even get to make art with them when I feel like it. It was a good day.

We cleaned up and Andrew, one of my favorite students, helped out and then insisted on shaking my hand at the end and we did it very big and over exaggerated and it was a silly little moment and I thought that was lovely. I really like my class. Even if working Sundays is a little tough I am almost always so happy after. Absolutely worth it.

After everything was put away I would alarm the building and walked out with Joan and Mary Ellen. I sat in my car writing my notes for the week. And then I went home.

When I got back here I didn't really want to do much. I thought about reorganizing the studio but I only got so far as picking up the fabric scraps off the floor and throwing them away. Then putting our costume stuff into a totebag. Then I just couldn't do it anymore.

I went and got changed. And got cozy on the couch to play animal crossing. At least I could be creative in there. And I had a lot of fun doing that.

I would design two island homes. The first one was a sewing room with an outdoor garden space. Then I made a farm with the entire inside of the house a country style farmhouse and I think it came out so cute.

James got home while I was working on the second one. We talked and hung out for a little while. Eventually, after I finished building my farm, I passed the controller to them so they could play the new game they got and I would go get cozy in bed because I was so cold.

I was in bed for a while. James made me a tortilla pizza for dinner. And put a heating pad on my legs. Which hurt a lot today. Mainly the fronts of my ankles but also my knees a little. Stretching them is helping. The hot bath I took after the sun went down helped a lot too.

And now we are in bed. Watching our vampire show again. It has been fun watching it with them.

And now Sweetp is here. Being a goober. Headbutting and kneading us. Love my little kitty so much.

Tomorrow me and James will be picking up Anne and Tucker and driving up to visit my parents. I'm excited to see them and have a nice meal together. I hope it's a fun day.

Sleep well everyone. I love you all. Be safe.

[kennahjune]

Teen Dad AU

Tag list: @live0rdive @y4r3luv @jonesn4coffee @sofadofax @jackiemonroe5512 @sensationalsunburst @scarlet-malfoy @l393ndjean @asspirin-s @fandomz-brainrot

Tag list is open until I finish this series so feel free to ask to be added!!

.

Steve Harrington had a son.

An actual son.

And his name was Louie.

And little Louie Harrington was Steve’s pride and joy.

But there was a problem. Steve was 17. 17 years old and with a son.

It’s fine.

Martha Timbley was the mothers name. “Was” because after she gave birth and dropped Louie off with an extensive apology, her parents packed everything up and took her to New York.

So Martha Timbley was the mother, until she had to leave.

Then Nancy might’ve been, but she met Louie after they had already broken up. Nancy was content with simply knowing about Louie’s existence. Steve wouldn’t hold it against her, really.

Louie was Steve’s pride and joy, as said before, and he loved to talk about him to people.

Except Steve is 17. And the only friends he has are a bunch of 8th graders and his ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend. 99% of which don’t even know about Louie’s existence.

So Steve didn’t get to talk about Louie as much as he’d like.

Speaking of the baby Harrington, there was a soft cry from Steve’s bedroom. Steve, who had been in the bathroom getting ready for a shower, rushed in to pick up a now crying baby Louie.

“Hey hey hey, it’s alright baby it’s alright. What’s the matter honey? You hungry? I bet you are, huh?”

Steve loved talking to Louie. Which makes him sound pathetic. Louie’s only 6 months old at this point in time. And for him to be Steve’s favorite person to talk to?

That’s just kind of sad.

But the point still stands.

Steve carried Louie carefully downstairs and into the kitchen. Steve never put Louie down while making the bottle, gently bouncing on his feet and rocking back and forth.

The bottle was easy enough to make. Steve took it into the living room and sat on the couch with Louie in his arms. Little Louie drank the bottle right up to the delight of Steve. His big brown eyes stared right at him while his little baby hands curled around his ears. Steve chuckled quietly.

Little Louie had Steve’s eyes, much to his delight. But he had a mix of his and Martha’s hair, curly and mostly brown with blond highlights— like Steve’s— but had a ginger tint to it that reflected Martha’s firey curls.

Louie finished the bottle and Steve burped him gently. It was nearing only 5 PM on that Tuesday in August of 1984, but Steve felt himself growing tired and worn with exhaustion. Louie was a sucker to put to sleep and to keep asleep, often waking in the night with screams and cries and needing to be held in order to fall to sleep.

Which was fine with Steve. Well— the holding part. He didn’t really like the screaming and crying part but that was to be expected with babies of Louie’s age.

Steve liked holding baby Louie during the night. But he often feared that he’d roll over and crush the boy. So, Steve let Louie sleep on the bed with him while surrounded by pillows at all times.

It was around 6 PM now on that fine Tuesday. Steve finally plated up a small dinner for himself of pasta. He let Louie gnaw on a couple of noodles while Steve rocked him gently.

It was nearing 7 when Steve finally out Louie down for the first time in nearly 3 hours. Louie wasn’t asleep, not quite yet. But Steve tucked him in and surrounded him in pillows as if he was.

Steve turned the radio on and turned it down real low. He let the soft tunes of some country song lull little Louie to sleep.

Louie fell asleep clutching a small bear Martha gave him. Steve was upset that she couldn’t be in Louie’s life. Even if there wasn’t anything between the two of them Louie deserved to know his mother cared. Steve sighed.

As much as he wanted to collapse on his side of the bed, he refrained.

Instead, Steve pulled out a duffel bag from under his bed and set to work. His parents would be expected home in two days, and he already knew what the outcome would be.

They’d enjoyed their trip to where-ever-the-fuck for the past 7 months, they’d made sure Steve knew how much they didn’t miss him over the phone when they asked about the house and neighbors more than him.

But that’s fine. It’s whatever. Steve didn’t need their approval. He’d stopped caring about it after sophomore year; when he’d won his first game with the winning shot and they hadn’t bothered to say anything outside of “you should be doing that all the time”.

So really? Fuck them.

But they were currently Steve’s only means of housing.

So he’s kind of fucked.

But he packed the duffle bag nice and tight. He packed the bag with his clothes and a blanket and moved to pull out a suitcase he still had from his first (and last) trip with his parents when he was 9.

Into the suitcase went most of Louie’s stuff; clothes, toys, extra bottles that weren’t going to be needed until Thursday. And then he packed one of the smaller pockets with his important things; birth certificates and the papers showing that his car was in fact his.

He already had a diaper bag with the rest of Louie’s stuff. He kept it packed all the time for when he could convince Nancy to babysit for him. Like tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Steve would have work from 9 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon. Not ideal but he needs the hours. Nancy would be over by 8:30 with a promise of watching Louie.

Steve doesn’t know how Nancy hasn’t clued anyone in on Louie’s existence. But as much as he wanted to question it he didn’t fancy pushing his luck.

With the bags packed he set them aside by his door. He’d put them in the car tomorrow when he left for work. But for now, he all but collapsed on his bed. He had the vague feeling of Louie wrapping his little hands around his finger before he officially passed out.

…

First part is officially out!! I’m working on my s3 steddie part 4 behind the scenes but that should be out soon as well. Expect part 2 of this sometime in the following week.

Second Part:

[aestheticvoyage2023]

Day 48: Friday February 17, 2023 - “Photo Reel”

What my photo reel can say about how we navigated our day together:

7:08am - Stacking garages at sunrise. I may never sleep in ever again. 10:49am - Story time at the Library, shy in my lap.  Taking in the scene.  William starts school next week, so some good socialization should be useful.  I told William that Libraries are where all the books come from. He obviously had no clue we were coming to Story time for little babies instead of nap today! 11:15am - William is caught reading “Where is the Pirate?” to another little boy with a stuffed rat. Biggest cat in the room once he figured it out. 11:54am - Holy shit, did you know Peacocks can jump?! 12:05pm - When we go to the zoo we work our way back to the Elephants, and apparently Noon is a really great time to be here, because at least today, Noon was feeding time and all the elephants were right up to the gate and what do they eat?  Cucumbers.  Check that out William! 12:15pm - After seeing the elephants, I get William out to run around and see if he’ll go hit the elephant butt.  Today he came close - but did really enjoy watching the other little boys do it.  He can point out every animal on the big donor mural back there! Even the Ostrich! 12:28pm - “Want to go see the bearded dragons today?”  “YEAAAA!” 12:53pm. - Lunch time. Zoo Fries.  Dippa Dippa. Ice.  We both love this part of the day. 2:02pm - Somewhere during the hour long afternoon nap.   Audrie asked me to try to stretch the morning out and only do one nap.  I gave it my best shot!  I kept him awake until 1:30 when we started to drive home.  I pulled into Michaels Parking Lot as soon as he was out and took advantage of that time to get some work done, hotspotting into my email.  Time is a premium.  I look up into the mirror to see if he’s still asleep and saw the most precious little boy with his Uncle Louie and I thought he looked just about perfect. 3:43pm - Time outside laying on the grass playing with the ice cream truck, turned into a big whirling dervish Dog Wrestle where all three puppies practiced their best moves and defenses to see who would be king for the day, and in practiced fashion, Havarti wins.  Because Havyvys is the King of every day here at The Finca.   4:33pm - Toot Toot.  Time to go try to take a nap because this guy is asking for Thomas The Train.... or maybe he’s pretending to be an ice cream train.  Hard to say but I look at this picture now at the end of the day and can literally hear him saying “toot toot” 7:20 - Butter Noodles are served with Potatoes/Ranch Dippa, and Cucumbers (like the elephants eat).  It took some wild coaxing (I know that was a lot of french fries dude but that was literally six hours ago!).  Even Mama couldnt coax him to eat over facetime.  Finally I got serious.  “What do you want to watch while you eat? Dora?”  “HOCKEY!”  Seriously? OK!  I found the Spartans playing Wisconsin, and William clapped and said “Lets Go Blues” and ate his dinner.  Sometimes something works and I have no clue why.  Like what kind of cheat code was that?! 7:45pm - Play time in the great room to wind down and digest that food.  Get your wiggles out running that truck transporter up and down the bench seat.  That truck transporter is early front runner for toy of the year. 7:53 -”What are you playing with there buddy?” - “Mama on the airplane.”  Now thats a heart melter.   “Mama flying the airplane? While the pilot rides?”   “Yea!” “Is that why it never leaves the ground?”   “Yea!” 8:13pm - Tubby time.  He really doesn’t like getting his hair washed.  Really its the rinse that gets him.  He’s taken to playing with the rinse bucket so that I can’t sneak up on him with it.  This kid really loves his nightly tubby time though, especially since we add the blocks to make a boat out of for Ernie and Cookie, and bubbles that smell so nice.  Its a great positive kickoff to bedtime routine and I am so glad he enjoys it and its not a fight.  I suppose we can thank mama and all those early bath times for that!  Writing about it now reminds me of how funny he was when we’d lift him up and out of the bath as a little baby.  Such great memories. 9:14pm: 15 hours after it started, almost exaclty, the day was done. Sure I had to come back in and reassure him the standard few times, but I called it with a photo at 9:14.  The bed time routine went fine.  He didn’t want to get out of the tub, and so got shivery cold as he brushed his teeth and I held him tightly in front of the mirror.  I moved him to the changing table where I combed his hair real nice with a part to the left (my favorite part of the routine), then lotioned him, added a diaper, and put on his lucky “No Wake Zone” pajamas - we might need these tonight after Mama had me take out the morning nap!  Then we read 4 books (Heads, Goodnight Hockey, Love In The Wild, and First 100 Trucks), while he ate a Peach Squeezy yogurt, the only one he’ll take these days.  He sucked it dry in about 2 minutes.  I should time him one of these days, but its very efficient. I suppose all that practice with the nipple raised a superstar squeezy sucker.  We put on the sleep sack, said goodnight to the dogs and everything else we passed along the way (elmo chair, monkey, baseball, hockey game on tv). He took some ibuprofen for his teeth, chased with some icewawa, looked at me and said “Bop” - Kenny Chesney, Nick Mulvey, Renee & Jermey, Sleep Sounds, Thunderstorm.   Bop goes the weasel and finally on the third of fourth try I had him down to stay and I snuck out.  Finally time for a break.  Turned the salt lamp up, stole a pic - the best one of the day.  The trophy prize - a happy healthy sleeping baby right on time at the end of a successful day where I planned my work and I work my plan.  The picture, at 9:14pm, of successful Dad Day.

Song:  Kid Cudi - Pursuit of Happiness

Quote:  “Listen to me son, I’ll tell you why your father is strong; Because he can still say ever single day, he’s yearning to belong. Yearning to belong, Yearning to belong,  My heart beats with a ceaseless longing of a yearning to belong In spite of myself, and all of these nursery songs My heart beats with a ceaseless, meets with a peaceless burning to belong”

~Nick Mulvey, CuCuRuCu   

[buttercuppg]

Buttercup grinned mischievously instead of answering, still motioning for him to come over with her pointer finger despite his obvious disinterest in being punched. He was such a baby — it wasn't like she used her actual strength on him! No, she just enjoyed bullying the triplet for fun because that was her own way of showing affection. Louie was her best friend, so she saw the other two Duck triplets a lot over the years. Of course, Dewey was on her shit list ever since the bombing happened, so Huey was automatically the second-best triplet by default. Besides, it felt like she hadn't seen Huey in a while — this was her way of checking up on him.

As Huey began to critique her usual greetings, even offering an alternate greeting that was simple and lame, Buttercup faked a loud yawn and stretched her arms above her head dramatically, emphasizing just how boring his suggestion was. She rolled her eyes after. "Yeah, that would work if I wanted to put us both to sleep. A hello punch keeps you on your toes." As he slowly made his way to where she stood in the kitchen, she floated closer to him just to make sure she got the punch out of the way (very light, of course). The brunette smiled in satisfaction after, floating up to sit on the counter as the triplet asked about Louie. "Yeah, his boyfriend called," Buttercup answered with another eye roll, obviously referring to Doofus Davis Drake, "So I came to the kitchen to give them their privacy or whatever." She shrugged it off, despite that it was obvious she was still a little annoyed about the whole sugar daddy thing. She was happy Louie was happy, but it was the who of it all that Buttercup was still adjusting to. She was quick to change the subject. "Anyway, what kind of nerd stuff are you up to?"

“Nerd, come over here. I wanna punch ya” -Buttercup [ @buttercuppg ]

“Why!” With a frustrated sigh, Huey threw his head back. All he wanted to do was go into the mansion’s family room and load up Legends of Legend Quest Dereznaroth where he can tend to his in-game garden in peace. And that was exactly what he was going to do, having to catch sight of Buttercup within the kitchen as he began to pass by, and like the polite thing to do whenever he saw a friend, the eldest of the Duck triplet smiled at her and did a half-hearted wave. He figured that she was here for Louie, the Powerpuff and the youngest triplet being best friends so it wasn’t that difficult to conclude. He even figured that the reason she was alone at the kitchen was maybe even before she was getting something for the both of them before heading back towards his brothers bedroom so that they both can chill. But just as Huey was about to exit the room, Buttercup called him over with the request of wanting to punch him. Such a request had caused him to halt and groan.

“Why is it that whenever you see me, this is the kind of greeting I get from you?” Huey questioned, turning around to glance at her. “Can’t a simple “Hi Huey! Nice to see you!” work?” However, despite his words, the eldest didn’t actually seem to be as annoyed with her as he came off. Because for all intent purposes, this was the typical greeting he often would get from her, which is also why he had slowly made his way towards her. “It’s nice to see you too, by the way. Hanging out with Louie like usual?” 

[ducktales-lucktales]

Howdy, it's the person who requested that adhd homeless reader insert! Was wondering if i could get some fun bonding with Y/n & the triplets, maybe some "Captain Lost" level shenanigans where they get into mischief?

Rooftop

Huey Duck & Dewey Duck & Louie Duck & GN!ADHD!Reader

Word Count: 4K+

Warnings: I took the maybe to heart and we discovered that allowing Louie and Dewey to plan something together is a bad idea and we get like baby-level delinquency.

AO3: Link

Master List 1, 2, 3 || Previous || Next

Just mere months ago, [Y/N] found themselves becoming part of the Duck family. They spent most of their mornings attending school doing their best to catch up to the kids they were supposed to be in the same grade-level as. After school was usually spent doing homework and a few extra assignments they conned their teachers into giving them as they really wanted to be at the same level as their peers. When [Y/N] wasn’t preoccupied with school they were what the triplets called “boring” and “just like Uncle Donald”. At first, they were a little confused as to what being just like Donald meant; they did the “fun” things to survive and being able to sleep safely on a bed, have three full meals served a day, and having fresh, clean clothes everyday was more of a luxury and they felt as though being “boring” and “just like Uncle Donald” was well deserved. [Y/N] felt like Mister Moneybags himself living on the houseboat with their new family; even feeling the greatest feeling in the world, [Y/N] lent a hand to Donald more often than expected of them.

[Y/N] was more on the antisocial side of things at the moment, being 13, technically a teen, and being new to the family. Spending time with Donald was still hard. After all, they did manage to cause some trouble around the houseboat when they didn’t mean to, the adoption process was agonizingly slow and they felt nowhere near being an official Duck, the idea and actions surrounding the adoption were abrupt and scary. Thoughts surrounding the situation came and went at odd hours of the day; the morning could consist of irrational fears of extended Duck family members shunning them and the middle of the night could include irrational fears surrounding familial labels: were they going to call Donald “Dad” one day or somehow fall in line with the triplets and end up saying “Uncle Donald”? Was Donald going to be alright with being called “Dad” one day? Were the triplets going to be alright with calling then their cousin? It all happened so fast, one morning they were stealing food because they were hungry, and stealing was the only option and that same afternoon they were going home with Donald Duck and had three siblings? Cousins? They still weren’t sure at this point, but the uncertainty didn’t stop the nagging thoughts; [Y/N] had just assumed that the triplets were Donald’s kids, not his nephews. Donald was, however, trying his best to make [Y/N] feel at home, or at least aid in that process. He allowed them to have their space, but also remained within earshot in case he was needed. He made sure that the boys understood that they shouldn’t overwhelm [Y/N]–not that that would stop them.

The weekend had just started and for some reason it was boring. There was nothing to do and they always had something to do in the houseboat. The boys were lounging by the docks, Donald was busy in the kitchen, and they were sitting on their bed reading the first page of their book for the 17thtime. They closed the cover and placed the book on their chest and sighed. They closed their eyes.

“[Y/N]! Wake up!”

“There’s no sleeping on a Saturday afternoon!”

“Well, unless you’re like Uncle Donald there is.”

They sat up and looked at the triplets, dazed as if they just woke up from a long slumber with no recollection of who they are, where they are, or what year it is. “Buh…?”

“We’re going to Funzo’s Funzone, are you coming?” Huey readjusted his hat and looked at them. He looked as though he were ready to beg them to come to Funzo’s.

“Yeah, you can’t miss a Funzo’s day!” Dewey raised his voice out of sheer excitement and grabbed them by their arms.

[Y/N] slowly slid off their bed with help from Dewey’s excitable dragging. “I’ve never been there, it couldn’t hurt to go, right?”

“How wrong you are, dear [Y/N].” Louie wrapped his arm around them and looked off into the distance. “But it’s still a kid’s wildest dream come true. Ball pits full of gross bodily fluids, slides of pain, water cups used for soda, cheap pizza that’s not even good but the idea of Funzo’s makes you forget how bad it is. Oh, and there’s an arcade.” With each new item added to the combined pros and cons list, he bounced his hand for emphasis on a new item. He quickly stepped away from them and got back in line with his brothers.

They nodded slowly, only slightly disturbed as Funzo’s sounds a lot cleaner than most places [Y/N] has had to stay. “I’m alright with going as long as Donald knows.”

The triplets nodded and led the way out to the deck. “Bye Uncle Donald!” They raised their voices and waved at their uncle.

“We’re going to Funzo’s, don’t try to stop us because by the time we’re down the street you’ll have finally processed this sentence, bye!” Louie spoke extremely fast.

Dewey dragged [Y/N] along to ensure that they wouldn’t stop to tell Donald exactly what Louie had said. They were on a mission. [Y/N] was going to have a blast at Funzo’s even if it killed them.

Once Dewey had let their arm go, they fell behind the pack and slowly slipped away from the conversation the boys were having as they didn’t quite understand it. They crossed their arms and tapped their fingers against their elbows rhythmically, they had a popular radio song stuck in their head and they needed it out now. They began mouthing the chorus as they walked, the way they walked changed from an average style to one that matched the beat of the popular song. In their head, they were in a music video, showing off some moves in front of the camera at wide and low angles and dancing in the background as the verse came back. Once the song was over, it happened again. And again. In all honesty, it only took about half of the long walk to Funzo’s for Dewey the fall out of line with his brothers and bop alongside [Y/N]. Dewey sung the words to I Feel It Coming and [Y/N] hummed the tune, they danced almost in perfect sync as if they had choregraphed it.

Louie rolled his eyes at the dancing duo; Huey tried his best to ignore them as he led the quartet to Funzo’s. The sing-and-dance along between Dewey and [Y/N] finally ended, much to the pleasure of the other two. Dewey took his place back in between Louie and Huey with a newfound energy.

[Y/N] swayed to a much slower song and tuned into the boys’ conversation in hopes of hearing something they could understand or at the very least comment on, but to their dismay they were talking about yet another thing that they were unfamiliar with.

“Don’t mind Huey, that guidebook is his lifeline.” Louie looked back at them, annoyed with the book in Huey’s hands. By the looks of Louie, Huey uses that guidebook for every little thing; in fact, [Y/N] has seen Huey look at and write in a book before, perhaps it was the one he was utilizing now.

They nodded, a little curious. “What’s so special about the book?”

“What’s so–ha! The is only the most important book of all time. It’s the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, it’s helped me through a lot of tough spots and by using its knowledge I’m going to become a Senior Woodchuck when it’s time.” Huey halted their walk towards Funzo’s. “The Guidebook has infinite knowledge about everything!” He pushed the guidebook toward [Y/N].

“For a book with infinite knowledge it’s kinda small.” [Y/N] furrowed their eyebrows and frowned at the size of the book. “What do you do in your Junior Woodchuck thing? Do you go camping? Complete tasks like sewing, swordsmanship, alligator wrestling, and treasure hunting?” They asked.

Huey stared at them for a moment, taking in the last two activities in their list. “Alligator wrestling wouldn’t be safe and there’s no treasure hunting. We do go camping every once in a while, and we have been asked to sew. I don’t think we’ll be asked to practice our swordsmanship, but they will have us practice archery.” He started walking again. “You should ask Uncle Donald to look into it with you in case you want to enroll!” He suggested.

“You think I could? I mean, I don’t know how any of that works; there’s no age requirement or other requirements?” [Y/N] swallowed. “I’d like to see if it’s something I’d like but I don’t want to be disappointed if I get told I’m too old.”

Huey smiled. “You’re not too old! If you decide you like it, it would be great to have someone to have serious discussions with at home. Uncle Donald didn’t last long, he’s not that good with nature…”

“I’ll look into it with Donald as soon as I can.” They smiled briefly. “Are we almost at Funzo’s, we’ve been walking forever.”

“You weren’t even paying attention for most of the walk, and you were dancing with Dewey.” Louie lightly punched their shoulder. “Stop fooling.”

They put their arms up defensively. “Alright, alright. But I sang the same song six times in my head, and that’s a lot of minutes if you think about it.”

The quartet fell silent after no one had anything to add to the conversation and there was nothing new to make fun of. All the jokes had been overused to the triplets and [Y/N] was still too new in their lives to know what personal things to make jokes about. They were almost a mystery, but the boys just assumed that they had a hard time talking about being homeless for pretty much their whole life. There was no harm in talking about it, and the boys were old enough to let [Y/N] come to them–except for the fact that they basically dragged them out of the houseboat with little warning. [Y/N] didn’t mind being kidnapped by the triplets; this could be an opportunity to bond with them since there hadn’t been much of that going on. The past few months have been slow going in the bonding department.

What they did mind was how far Funzo’s was from the houseboat and where they had to walk to get there. They started to keep their head down and tried to strategically walk where no one along these roads would be able to see their face through the Duck boys. This part of town didn’t exactly like [Y/N] after their little stealing spree–but no part of Duckburg really liked [Y/N] after all their thieving in all honesty.

It was weird to walk around and not need to steal anything. It did, however, feel like a ton of weight was lifted off their body knowing that there was no need to question whether there was going to be another meal that day or not. There was a ton of weight lifted off their shoulders surrounding the question of where they were going to sleep and if Ma Beagle was going to jump out and surprise them. The anger toward Mister Moneybags and his most Scottish rival still lingered because it’s folk like them that let folk like [Y/N] down, even when their lives turn around.

“[Y/N], if you were to live in a fictional world, which one would you live in and why?” Dewey walked backwards, still between his brothers.

They thought for a moment; there weren’t many fictional worlds that really piqued their interest. “Well…” They started. “Maybe something like Indiana Jones.” Their voice was filled with uncertainty about their answer.

“Why?” Louie glanced back.

They shrugged their shoulders. “I mean, being some type of explorer or whatever seems like it would be fun. The danger, the treasure. It would be neat. What about you guys?”

“I think I would be part of a coming-of-age world.” Dewey opened his arms proudly. “The music, the drama, the music.”

Huey shook his head. “I think I would do well in a fantasy world, maybe as a farmer or a clerk. I think it would be interesting to sell the main characters much needed objects.”

“And by sell, you mean getting robbed?” [Y/N] chuckled. “What about you, Louie?”

Louie shrugged his shoulders. “I’m thinking more along the lines of a mob world where I am the mob boss.”

The three remaining children furrowed their eyebrows at Louie’s completely characteristic but insane world of choice. The boys stopped in their tracks, making [Y/N] walk right into Dewey and Huey.

“Oof–.”

“There it is, [Y/N], Funzo’s Funzone. The place of dreams.” Dewey slide in front of Funzo’s and showed it off as if it were better than it was.

“Oh.” They said, looking at the building.

Louie and Huey laughed at Dewey’s reaction to [Y/N]’s reaction. He frowned at the anticlimactic reaction to Funzo’s.

“I’m pretty sure all of [Y/N]’s dreams have been fulfilled already.” Huey shot at Dewey and held his fist out to [Y/N].

They tapped their fist against Huey’s. “Yeah! I have nothing to add… Let’s go in, show me your favorite things to do here.”

The group of four walked into Funzo’s, [Y/N] went from “Oh” to “Oh wow” very quickly. They were nearly overwhelmed with how large Funzo’s actually was from the inside. The funzone actually looked like it was a fun place to be with a ball pit, an arcade, an indoor jungle-gym death-trap, and places to sit. It was a place of dreams. Dewey was the first of the four to run off and have fun of his own. Louie found a free table and planted himself at it. He pulled something out of his hoodie pocket and quickly went to work on it.

[Y/N] looked over at Huey. “Lead the way.”

“I thought you would’ve run off with Dewey.” Huey said. “You two were having a good time on our walk.”

“I blinked and he was suddenly gone.” They laughed dryly. “I’m not so sure what to do with myself here. Are you expecting me to just wander off?”

Huey shrugged his shoulders. “Well, yeah, that’s almost the point of this place.”

“Oh.” They raised an eyebrow and glanced around the joint.

The quartet walked into the houseboat at almost eight at night. [Y/N] absentmindedly walked into the kitchen and stood awkwardly until Donald noticed them there. The boys had wandered in the opposite direction to get ready for bed after a long day of goofing off without Donald around to tell them that they all need to behave themselves. [Y/N] wanted to say that they had a good day but that didn’t feel quite right. They day was fine, sure, but Funzo’s was not the dream they expected it to be. Or maybe that’s how one was supposed to feel after spending nearly all day at a place like Funzo’s; after all the boys did just wander off to bed without uttering a word to their Uncle Donald or to [Y/N]. [Y/N] blinked slowly and slid into the chair at the dining table, still very exhausted, but not exactly ready to climb into bed. They had a lot on their mind between the long day that they had and a bunch of unrelated thoughts.

“How was Funzo’s?” Donald asked.

They shrugged their shoulders. “It made me tired. We were there almost all day; I think I just sat out for the most part. It felt weird to try to do something because I’ve never been to a place like that before. I don’t think I’d ever go there again willingly.” They glanced at Donald who frowned at their experience. “I’ve got a question for you.”

Donald slid into the seat next to them, worried. “Is everything alright?”

They nodded. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just a question. So, Huey was telling me a little about the Junior Woodchucks, and it sounds interesting. Do you think we can look into something like that for me? I’d kinda like to see what being a Woodchuck is all about and maybe try to join if I like it. If that’s not a problem for you, that is. I don’t know if that’s a thing we can do, and I don’t want to make you feel like you must do this for me.”

Donald chuckled and their sudden worry. “Yes, that is something we can look at for you. I think you’d enjoy it; Huey would enjoy having someone to talk to about it.” He explained.

“It’s funny you say that he said the exact same thing.” [Y/N] smiled.

They grew silent. [Y/N] tapped their hands against their legs with the look of someone who has something to say. They slowly started to groove in the seat as they tried to form a sentence or two of a feeling that they have been holding in for the past couple of months.

“Are you hungry?” Donald asked.

After only a few months, it seemed as though Donald was a mind reader. He could just tell what [Y/N] wanted, it was almost scary.

[Y/N] nodded. “Yes, actually.”

“Fish crackers?” Donald asked.

They tried to hide their disgust for the snack that Donald seems to always offer his kids. “No thank you, I’m thinking… more… carrot related snacks?” They questioned their choice in snacks as they didn’t particularly like that snack either, but almost anything was better than those retched fish and cracker snacks.

Donald nodded and stood up from the table. He made his way to the fridge and pulled out a prepacked carrot and dip snack–he was a prepared parent. Breakfast was almost always prepared before the children were awake, snacks were already pre-portioned, lunches were already made by the time the children were ready to leave for school, dinner was almost always prepared. The meals were usually healthy unless the gaggle of children were able to convince Donald to order a pizza or to make one of those over-the-top breakfasts with everything from pancakes to hashbrowns. Donald returned to the table and slid the snack pack over to [Y/N].

“Do you kids have anything planned for tomorrow?” Donald asked.

They shrugged their shoulders. “I don’t think we do, but I could be wrong. You know, they think I’m boring. Or, well, they say I’m a lot like you… which may or may not be boring. I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Donald wasn’t sure whether he should frown or not. On one hand, his nephews are calling him and [Y/N] boring, on the other hand, [Y/N] may view them as boring, but they don’t see it as bad. “Are you doing alright? Living here?” He changed the direction and the tone out of pure curiosity.

[Y/N] nodded and covered their bill with their mouth, trying to swallow their mouthful before they speak. “Yeah, I like it here. I’ve got a nice bed and a room, clean clothes and all that. I think the icing on the cake is not worrying about eating! But you mean that in another way, don’t you?” They smiled, slightly embarrassed.

Donald nodded.

“Well, I think it’s… um…” They paused, suddenly not sure of what to say. “I think living here with you and your nephews is actually really great. I’ve been alone for a long while and I never had something like this. It’s strange to have someone, er, more than one someone’s care about me. You’ve been doing a lot. Between your odd jobs, finding a new job, taking care of your three nephews, trying to get the papers done and taking care of me–that’s a lot. I want to thank you in a way that’s not just saying ‘Thank you’ because that’s boring, but I’m at a loss for what to do.”

“D’aw, you don’t–.”

“And your nephews have been fun to be with. I know I haven’t been bonding with any of you the way everyone hoped I would, but I’m getting there. I get along with the boys in different ways. I mean, just today, Dewey and I were going hard over a song; dancing and walking, singing and humming. Huey and I might be more alike than I thought, if it turns out that I like what they Woodchucks do, that’s just another common interest that we found. And Louie, he’s a riot. We don’t have much in common, but I think we’re pretty sociable with each other once we get past how quiet I can be around them.” They rambled between bites of carrot. “I don’t mean to shy away from all of you, it just happens, y’know?”

Donald nodded and smiled. “I understand.”

Sunday night rolled around, and the four children were staring at their school from outside of the ground’s gates. Louie smiled smugly at Dewey and [Y/N], who held their bicycles (with the exception of [Y/N] anxiously rolling their bike back and forth). Huey held his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook close to his chest and stared down the line.

“Are you sure about this, Louie? This whole thing doesn’t really seem like it’s a ‘Captain Lost’ type of activity. Getting lost and pulling a stunt are two different things.” [Y/N] looked over at the green triplet. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it sounds fun, but… I don’t want to get in trouble if we get caught.”

Louie chuckled. “Well, you can always stay out here while Dewey leaves his bike on the top of the school by himself.”

“Yeah, [Y/N]! It’s not like you haven’t had your fair share of mischief.” Dewey nudged their arm.

Huey swallowed. “I’m with [Y/N] on this and I think you guys should listen to them.”

“Thank you, Huey.” They sighed. “I didn’t commit mischievous acts because I thought it would be fun, the acts I committed are what your uncle Donald calls ‘crimes’.” They let their bike lean against their hip. “I’d much rather do something that doesn’t have to do with trespassing… maybe something like finding an old backroad with a sudden decrease in travel speed that is monitored by an officer. Two of us are stationed with a sign that says ‘Warning: Radar’ to warn drivers of the officer and two of us collect tips on the other side.”

Louie’s eyes glistened at the concept of collecting tips. “We’re doing this tonight; we’ll use that idea another time.” He smiled mischievously. “Huey, grabbed the ladder with me, we’re getting those bicycles on the roof!” He bent down and wrapped his arm through the ladder and looked over at Huey, waiting for him to do the same.

Huey sighed, not even willing to fight it, and wrapped his arm through the ladder and lifted it with Louie. The pair walked toward the gate and waited for [Y/N] to pick the lock. They did so swiftly and pushed the gates open with Dewey. Louie and Huey walked the ladder onto school grounds toward the main entrance. Dewey and [Y/N] trailed behind them. [Y/N] swallowed nervously and looked around in case there was someone on school grounds looking for children like them–delinquents. Okay, maybe delinquent is too strong of a term, but that’s what feels right. They were trespassing and [Y/N] thought doing things such as this was behind them. They severely underestimated the mischief that Louie could cause and just how onboard Dewey could be. In front of them, Louie and Huey set up the ladder for the willing and unwilling participant.

“Alright, Dewey, you’re going first.” Louie tapped his brother’s shoulder.

Dewey laughed and held his bike over his shoulder by the handlebar. He scaled the ladder and flipped the bike over his head and onto the roof once he reached the top of the ladder. He stepped over the short wall and glanced around at the filthy roof–forgotten kickballs, leaves, algae, possibly mold, lost footballs, and many unidentifiable things.

[Y/N] threw their bike over their shoulder and held it by the handlebar as they scaled at the ladder themselves. Dewey reached over and grabbed the bike from them. They stepped over the ledge and took their bike back from Dewey. Dewey and [Y/N] kicked out the kickstands on their bikes.

“It’s a good thing we don’t ride our bikes to school otherwise they might be able to figure out we did this tomorrow.” Dewey held out his hand for a high-five.

[Y/N] sighed. “Yeah… let’s get down from here.” They quickly scrambled down the ladder with Dewey in toe. “Let’s go, I have to lock the gates again.”

“What’s the hurry?” Louie faced them.

“Let’s go!” They urged.

Dewey hoped off the ladder and patted their back. “Can’t wait to see everyone’s faces tomorrow. You worry too much.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry for worrying.” They said sternly. “I just don’t want to get in trouble, okay? You three can get in all the trouble you want; I don’t want to risk what I have.” They started to push Dewey toward the gate.

Louie and Huey walked behind them with the ladder.

“If we have time, tomorrow we are going to warn drivers for tips.” Louie said.

“I thought that was a weekend scheme.” Huey said.

Louie shrugged his shoulders. “It’s going to happen when it happens.”

[pulpman2]

The Redhead

It was a barely perceptible creak at first. Mary Lomas, Private Eye, could not sleep and did not take her shifting old apartment that seriously. Her eyes flickered open. God, she needed to sleep, she told herself: she was on the stand at 10 am tomorrow and her testimony would send Louie Parsons down for five to ten and she needed to be at her best. But the next sound was no expanding floorboard, it was a footfall, heavy and full of purpose. Mary sprang into action. Her hand grasped the handle of the gun secreted between her pillows and she rolled, her filmy black night dress clinging to her as she moved, an instant before the knife wielded by her attacker, plunged into the mattress where two seconds before she had lain.

The man struggled to pull the knife free. The mattress burst into a shower of feathers as he wrenched the weapon out of the material and he lunged with a murderous snarl towards his victim. “So long, sweet cheeks!” he sneered only to stop, blinking in surprise as the overhead suddenly light clicked on. The assailant whirled, rubbing his eyes, to come face to face with Mary, standing at the other side of the bedroom, one hand nonchalantly on the light switch, the other holding her gun pointing directly at the chest of the bemused knife man. “Next time you want to get to third base, sweetie, at least ask me out first!” the female detective smiled with a coquettish wink.

* Twenty minutes later…*

“They said I’d know it was you because you was a redhead,” the would be assassin said morosely as Mary tied his hands behind his back with her dressing room cord. “Well, they got that right, pal,” laughed the woman, throwing back her tousled auburn locks, “though how you knew that in the dark beats me!” Her prisoner shrugged as Mary pushed him face down on the bed in order to tie his ankles too. She became thoughtful as she bound his legs. “You wanna turn state, baby?” she asked the miserable looking thug. “I could take you along to court tomorrow and submit you as Exhibit A!”

My interpretation of the story behind the cover to X Marks the Redhead by Russell Gray in Crack Detective Stories (March 1944). Art by Milton Luros

[peanutbuttaz]

every⏱️time you stifle a🤧sneeze🤧, the force➡️of the sneeze👃👃cannot simply ✨disappear✨from existence. it must manifest🤔elsewhere, often causing a small🤏creature to explode💥💥💥💥, or a👨‍🍳chefs hat👨‍🍳to fly off into the air💨. la👏toque👏blanche.👏the chefs hat👨‍🍳👨‍🍳👨‍🍳. Why is it shaped like a mushroom🍄cloud☁️? because they↔️both↔️sure can cook🎆🎆💯💯. and why is a 🍄mushroom☁️cloud shaped 📐like a mushroom🍄🍄🍄? not many people know this🤪, but out in the forest🌳🌲, right where every mushroom 🍄grows, there used to be a tiny🤏japanese city🏙️🏙️😳😳, so tiny🤏🤏🤏that even david the gnome🎅 could commit🤪accidental genocide💀💀just by taking a poop💩💩💩without looking👁️. ironically, gnome poop is highly sought after in🇯🇵japan🇯🇵, because of it's 🌟🌟mystical properties🔮and because it tastes good on sushi🍣🍙, for people who can't handle😣😣wasabi🟩. here in america, gnome poop's mystique is somewhat overshadowed by that of🦄🦄unicorn🦄seed😳😳😳😳, the hip new soda🥤 pop that all the 👦👧kids are guzzling on the street corners🛣️. it's popularity has been hugely fostered by product placement in popular films🎟️🍿. for instance, in the🎥film 'muscular hooker 2', will smith's character🧍🏾‍♂️ takes a dramatically framed swig of unicorn🦄 seed🥤and then suddenly grows a cgi erection😳😳😳😳which extends into infinity🌌, and then🤯will smith's mind explodes🤯and the movie ends🔚. for that scene alone, roger ebert gives the film 3⭐⭐⭐and a half✨stars. not many people know this🙅‍♂️, but movie critics have a finite amount of stars⭐⭐they can award in their lifetime. they are often kept in a vault🔒🔒🔒, heavily secured to prevent a senile scrooge mcduck🦆from wandering in, mistaking the stars for gold coins💰💰, and swimming🏊in them. this is for scrooge's own protection, as the stars have sharp⭐‼️ edges and would lacerate his body into a ☹️bloody☹️feathered☹️pulp☹️. if this were to happen, his will states that the entire💵💵💵💵 mcduck fortune will go to his grandnephews 🦆huey, 🦆dewey, and 🦆louie, and that his nephew 🦆donald will get zilch🅾️, because nobody understands what the christ he is ⁉️saying anyway so who cares🤪. as for scrooge mcduck's body🦆🦆, it will be jerked and eaten, as per scottish🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 tradition. indeed, 😳cannibalism of the dead💀💀 is a cherished custom in scotland♥️. when a scottish boy's coming of age is celebrated, a ceremony known as the scot mitzvah🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿, he is forced to consume🥣🥣🥣his own great grandfather, 🦴bones and all🦴, in just 24 hours⏱️⏱️⏱️, or else the local shaman will hit him on the head with a 🏒magical stick that stops him from ever becoming an adult👦. now you might think that✨eternal childhood✨wouldn't be such a bad thing,🌌never neverland and all that jazz. but no. once your parents are dead💀💀, there's nothing to stop you from eating nothing but🧁🍨🍩sweets🍫🍪🎂, as children👧👦👧👦are want to do. and when your baby teeth🦷have rotted away‼️, there will be no adult teeth to take their place. 🦷🦷toothless, stupid, and unkissed by the spirits of puberty☹️, you will be banished from🚫🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿scotland to the only place in this world where an awkward manchild such as yourself can ever hope to be accepted: ireland🇮🇪☺️. you will live as a leprechaun🟩. you will don a false beard🎅🎅and a green bowler👒👒👒and stand on the streets jabbering about a nonexistent pot of gold🍲🌈🌈. when darkness falls, you will sleep in an alley on a bed of night soil, clutching a potato🥔🥔🥔🥔, which will be your surrogate mother. if you are found by leprechaun poachers👿👿👿, your only hope for escape is to😵mesmerize them with a sprightly leprechaun jig🕺🕺, and then stab their👁️👁️eyes out with your leprechaun stiletto👠. then you must run away to find another🇮🇪irish hamlet, and the cycle🌀🌀will continue until one of three things happens. 1, the poachers get too smart for you🧠🧠, 2, you starve to death☠️, 3, the stifled sneeze🤧🤭of a distant someone causes you to explode💥💥💥💥, and die💀.