#loui will BITE SOMEONE for bringing that fact up

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + fourteen

authors note: swear this was the chapter that never fucking ended. it's essentially part one because even with how long it is, i still have a lot to cover. 😩

anywayssss, some foreshadowing, a ton of fluff, and some long awaited moments below.

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: fluff, angst, smut

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 15k (sorrows, sorrows, prayers)

“Did they hurt?” The question is asked while sitting on top of Roman’s lap, the default seat for her, it seems, whenever she’s in his presence. Her fingers ghost over his inked skin, slightly fascinated by the intricacies of the design. Tribal. A nod to his heritage and his story.

Like most, if not all things with Solana, he answers truthfully. “Not really, but I have a high pain tolerance, so it’s hard to say.” For some reason, that makes her frown a bit. Was that a natural inherited thing or some level of tolerance built up from years of said pain? “Do you want any?”

She nods, tracing one of the patterns with her finger. “In Mexican culture, Hummingbirds represent many things. Strength. Love. But, the thing my mom always focused on and stressed to me is they’re also messengers from the spirits in heaven. That…they remind us of lost loved ones.” Her shoulders lift a little. Small, sad smile on her face. “Sometimes, I think I’d like to get one tattooed on me. Like…like a tribute to her, but then I think about the needle and don’t know if that could trigger me somehow.”

It could trigger from a couple different angles, but namely her trauma with knives as well as her history of self-harming. But, Solana is certain Roman already recognizes this, thus her not going into specifics. “I don’t know. I’ll….I’ll think about it some more.”

Roman nods, offering, “if you decide to get it, I’ll go with you.” 

It’s a thoughtful gesture, not entirely surprising. Solana is starting to recognize there’s very little the man underneath her wouldn’t do for her. 

Appreciatively kissing his cheek, she murmurs, “thank you.” Biting on her lip, she foolishly tries to see if she can get something else out of him. “Speaking of going….”

Roman chuckles. “I’m not telling you.” He rolls his eyes as she pouts almost, his thumb going to her cheek, the cut almost entirely healed. “You’ll find out in a couple hours.”

It’s been almost a week since the gala, and the temperature has settled tremendously. Roman still doesn’t like thinking about it, thinking about how he lost his fucking shit but mostly at the fact that Solana was attacked. 

He’s about to start having someone with her at all times. Even in the bathroom. 

Roman has also noticed there seems to be some conflicted emotions on Solana’s end regarding what happened in the bathroom. Namely because she caught wind of Wes injuries, injuries that are truly tame compared to what Roman would have done and will do once he gets his hands on that son of a bitch.

But, he is him, and Solana is her. They are very different people. She is gentle where he is hard, so while there is still that adrenaline and proudness she was experiencing at defending herself as well as she did, he can see it’s something that’s bothering her.

He’s tried to bring it up, but she shuts down, so he’s left it alone out of respect.

But, with her birthday being tomorrow and them leaving in a couple hours for their trip, he’s hopeful getting away will be good for her. For them. 

She then asks a bit of a silly question considering who she’s talking to. Roman plans for every little thing, from the most major detail to the thing that most likely won’t happen but still serves as something that needs to be accounted for. “Is….is it at least domestic? I don’t have a passport.” 

“Yes, you do.” He opens the first drawer of his desk, pulling out a small Louis Vuitton passport cover and hands it to her.

Solana looks down with a gasp seeing that she, in fact, has a passport. A brand new, unstamped passport. “How did you—”

An easy answer. “I’m a billionaire, Solana. There’s nothing I can’t buy or make happen.”

It makes sense, but it doesn’t do much to chip away the tremendous amount of guilt and how bad she feels in learning that Roman’s birthday was back in May, and no one said or did a thing about it or acknowledged it.

She can still feel her stomach dropping when she asked a few days about when his is, and he calmly informed that it had already passed. That hurt. Truly. To know what should be a special occasion was essentially treated as any other day.

His explanation made sense. He expressed not liking to acknowledge his birthday because of what happened when he was 10. She can understand that. She does understand that, but it doesn’t make her feel any less sad at the fact that she didn’t even know it was her husband’s freaking birthday. 

Solana expresses said concern. “But…it’s….it’s not fair we’re doing all this for my birthday, and I didn't even know yours—”

“Hey—” He interrupts her, his hands cupping her face. “Don’t do that.” He pushes back some of her hair. “My story is my story. Not yours.” She opens her mouth clearly to protest or counter when his eyes take on a mischievous glint. “Besides, seeing you half naked most of the day for a week? Might as well be my fucking birthday.”

Solana rolls her eyes. He has a way of making her feel better in the most interesting and often raunchy sort of way. Blushing and smiling at his suggestive comment, she shrugs, admitting, “there are more bathing suits in my suitcase than clothes.”

“Good. The less clothes you have on, the better.” Her cheeks must be a red mess. Roman taps on her hip, gesturing for her to stand up. He also stands and takes her hand in his. “Come here. There’s something I want to show you.”

Solana looks down at her outfit which is most definitely nothing appropriate enough to leave the house in. “Are we leaving the house or—”

“No.” His answer is simple and to the point that she doesn’t really press him for more information as he guides her through the house. A frown does fall on her face, however, when she sees he’s taken her down the hall where he’d said construction was previously taking place.

It’s only then she finally asks, “what—”

“Close your eyes.”

Solana makes a face. “Roman, what are you—”

He steps towards her, pushing back her hair. “You know I don’t like repeating myself.” If she was anyone else, Solana is certain his tone would be much different. A lot darker, harsher. But, it’s not. Just….strangely calm. 

Blowing out a breath, she relents, realizing there’s not really an option for anything else. “Okay.” Shutting her eyes, she allows him to continue to guide her, stopping for a moment as she hears a door open. He directs her to walk through said opened door followed by a light switch, the presence of that light shining against her closed eyes. 

Solana feels him shift behind her, his arms snaking around her, mouth dipping to her ear. “Open em’.”

Solana doesn't need to be told twice, and as soon as they’re open, a gasp leaves her mouth. Naturally, she walks away from him, deeper into the room that has an open floor plan, walls almost entirely lined with white, empty shelves. Bookshelves. Against the walls and the cutout part of the room. Not to be confused with the other nook that’s occupied by seating, pillows, and anything else someone would need if indulging in reading or writing.

Walking further into the space, she sees another area clearly curated for another purpose. Art. A table to create on, two easels, countless art supplies all perfectly situated near the bay window that allows for natural sunlight. 

The perfect place to create. 

Taken completely back by the surprise of it all, Solana turns to Roman, stammering to ask, “is–is this for me?”

“You know it’s damn sure not for me.” He steps toward her again, gently pulling her against him. “You were outgrowing that space. And your journals are personal. They shouldn’t be kept at work.” His thumb brushes across her bottom lip. “They should be here. This is your home now.”

“Roman….” She looks around again, tears growing in her eyes. 

He continues to explain. “It would have been ready sooner, but when I found out you like art, I had them add that.” He gestures to the corner that has to be any artist's dream. “I’m not smart about a lot of that shit, so just let me know anything else you ne—”

He’s silenced by Solana practically jumping him, angling her body to face him as she wraps her arms around his neck. A hug, deep and sentimental. It takes him off guard for a second, Roman unused to such….affection.

But, the discomfort settles into something that almost feels natural. His hand on the small of her back as he chuckles. “I’m gonna take it that you like it then.” It’s not necessarily a question as much as an assessment. 

She gives a watery chuckle, pulling back and nodding. “I love it.” Her voice breaks. “No…..no one’s ever done anything like this for me before.” It goes without saying this doesn't include her mom, who Roman is almost certain did more for her than anyone ever could. Especially when she needed it the most.

Doesn’t mean he can’t do his part though. 

She swallows, whispering as he wipes away her tears. “Thank you.” 

“What I tell you about that, huh?” He ghosts his lips over hers, reminding yet again. “You never have to thank me for anything.” Roman kisses her forehead, seeing how her eyes shut from feeling content and partially overwhelmed. It brings a small smile to his face. “Happy birthday, Solana….”

________

“Oh my god….”

Roman doesn’t have to be looking up to know what’s caught Solana’s attention. It’s obvious by the way the SUV has come to a stop, shifting into park as they’ve clearly reached their destination.

And she’s clearly looking up at said destination. Well, the conduit to help them travel to said destination.

When he finishes sending out an email, one of the last before he goes into somewhat work blackout—because he never be fully disconnected—he looks up to see Solana still staring out the window. 

“Is that….is that a private jet?”

Smirking, Roman slides his phone in his bag and removes his seatbelt. “You really think I fly commercial?”

It’s not intended to come across as rude, and it isn't judging by her small smile. “They’re bigger than I imagined….”

“Mine is.” Double entendre, if he really wanted to make her blush, but he keeps it PG. For now. “I’m tall. Need the leg room.”

Roman exits the SUV at the same time the driver opens the door for Solana to do the same. He easily circles back around to her just in time for her to sling her small backpack on her shoulder and adjust her ball cap. In sneakers without any sort of height boost, she looks even tinier than she already is, especially compared to his massive build. 

Taking her hand, Roman asks, “you ready?”

She nods as he leads them over to the descended stairs where the pilot and two flight attendants stand outside, greeting them. The older man, Bob, he thinks, lifts his hat and nods respectfully in their direction.

“Mr. Reigns. Mrs. Reigns. Everything is just as you requested.”

Roman only gives a nod to acknowledge things being exactly as they should. His way.

He motions for Solana to walk up ahead of him, mainly so he can enjoy the view of her ass in the tight ass outfit she has on but also out of manners.

Manners he only seems to be able to find in her presence. 

She loiters a bit near the entrance, moving aide for him to also fully enter but still stands almost frozen, clearly taken back by the interior. 

“This is….”

“The best,” he finishes for her, tossing his bag on the closest beige sofa that lines both sides of the jet. Roman moves over to her, hand palming her ass as he dips his head to whisper in her ear. “I don’t accept anything less.”

She giggles against him, the sound hands down one of the best songs on the soundtrack when they’re interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

Momentarily considering murder for probably the fifth time today, Roman turns to see Paul standing at the bottom of the steps. Roman literally forgot this man was in the SUV behind them, coming to see them off.

Paul lifts his hand to shield his eyes from the sun, asking with all of the unease. “A word, please, my Tribal Chief?”

The automatic answer would be no if not for Solana turning around and placing her hand on his chest. A frequent gesture he never gets tired of. Any touch from her is always welcomed.

Her smile dips a bit as she asks with the same level of unease shared by Paul, “is—is it okay if I look around?”

Her question makes him scowl. Her asking him permission to do anything feels uncomfortable as fuck. “You don’t have to ask my permission for shit. Anything that’s mine is yours.”

His answer seems to ease her anxiety at least as she nods, kisses his cheek and starts to explore the rest of the jet. Roman’s eyes linger on her a bit before he switches his attention to his annoying ass head council.

Stomping down the steps with all of the agitation, he barks, “talk.”

Paul clears his throat, and Roman’s already regretting his decision to choose his Wise Man over his fine ass wife.

“Sir, I—I understand you wanting to take the girl—”

“Solana,” Roman corrects one time only. Because that was Paul’s one time referring to Solana as anything other than her name or his wife. “Her name is Solana.”

Paul swallows. “Of course.” He’s a quick learner, smartly running it back for a second, correct time. “I understand you wanting to take Solana away for her birthday, but is the timing really great? There’s so much work—”

“There’s always work to do, Wise Man. That’s why I delegated the appropriate tasks to cover the appropriate work while I’m gone.” It was a bit trickier than that as delegation has never been a preference for Roman. His ultimate preference is to always handle shit on his own. And truth be told, he made sure to sign off, approve, create, and orchestrate any major moves that needed to be done before leaving. The remaining tasks were split among Jimmy, Jey, and Rikishi. And he has no doubt they’ll be on top of it. Because as always, when it comes to business, the twins never miss. It’s just any other time they’re bumbling idiots who give Roman migraines from time to time. 

“Of course. Always so conscientious, my Tribal Chief.” Paul’s smile makes Roman want to turn and walk away yet again for the second time in two minutes. Granted, that’s his usual disposition when interacting with anyone other than his wife. “I just—for you to be out of the country for almost a week. Well, it’s just—”

“Wise Man.”

Paul’s eyes light up, and it has nothing to do with the sun that’s shining in his direction. “Yes, my Tribal Chief?”

“How long have I been the Tribal Chief?”

The answer is almost instantaneous, a small smile falling on Paul’s pudgy face. “Since you were eighteen-years-old.”

“How old am I now?”

“My Tribal Chief turned 39 on May 25th of this year.”

“And in all that time, how many vacations have I taken?”

There’s brief hesitation, eyes traveling for a brief second, searching for the answer. “N–none, my Tribal Chief.”

“Exactly.” Roman lifts his shades and sets them atop his head. “So, if I want to take a couple fucking days off to help my wife celebrate her birthday, then that’s what I’m gonna fucking do, and I don’t have to answer to a damn person about it. Because I feel like you’re questioning me, Wise Man, and I don’t get questioned. Is that understood?”

Paul’s fat cheeks are painted an ugly shade of red as he stammers out, “y–yes, my Tribal Chief.”

Semi pleased with the acquiescence, Roman turns around and calls out coldly, “only contact me for emergencies.”

Roman is almost certain Paul will be too scared shitless to risk his wrath with an outreach that’s only subjectively considered an emergency vs Roman’s definition. He’ll probably task Rikishi or the twins with the task. 

Roman would prefer their old man over them. Less antics and constant triggers for his anger.

The head of the table finds his wife still in the main section of the jet, sitting down on the sofa, legs pulled up under her, phone in hand. Hearing his return, she smiles, sharing, “I was just texting Naomi to make sure she grabbed Dulce’s favorite toy.”

Roman chuckles and walks over, joining her on the sofa. “The dog has a favorite toy?”

Smiling, she explains, “it’s the one she plays with the most. Her avocado.” Solana angles her body so she’s facing him more versus the other sofa that lines the other side of the plane. “Do—do you think she’ll be okay? We’ve never left her before.”

To be fair, Roman briefly thought about that. She’s so fucking little and still a puppy, so leaving her could be risky. But, he also knows that damn thing seems to always be hopping on Naomi and Bayley’s lap, so she should be fine.

“She’ll probably sleep the majority of the time we’re gone.”

Solana rolls her pretty eyes, her mouth curving into a small smile. “I’m serious, Roman.”

“So am I.” He sighs and brings his arm around her, pulling her into his side. “She’ll be fine, Solana. It’s not like we left her with Jey and psycho ass Nicki with their bad ass kids.”

Forever the saint, she pouts and lightly scolds him. “That’s not nice. I’m sure they’re not bad.”

“You ain’t met them yet,” Roman scoffs. “Why you think Jey always at our place?”

Smiling cheekily, she gently points out, “you said it’s because I keep feeding them.”

“That too.” Roman trails his finger up and down her upper forearm, her soft skin a contrast to his coarse fingertips. Her perfume, something sweet, vanilla, and gourmand doesn’t help him keep focus on the conversation nor the fact that she’s so close to him, their bodies touching him. His desire for physical contact, of any kind, with her has been heightened a bit in recent days. “That’s why you don’t feed fucking strays. Cause they keep coming back.”

Solana peers up at him, giggling, “you’re so mean to them sometimes.” Shifting her position so that her legs are laid out the opposite side of Roman, her back pressed against his side. His big arm is over her chest, her hands on his forearm. “I think….I think you like them more than you let on.”

“Really?” 

She nods, further explaining. “I don’t….I don’t think you would let them be as close to you as they are if you didn’t.”

Perceptive. Roman pegged that about Solana a while ago, when they first started writing, her previous preferred form of communication. She’s not entirely wrong. As fucking crazy Jimmy and Jey drive Roman, they’ve also been the two best and really only examples of friendships he has. Not to mention they’re family. 

“They’re….tolerable.”

She looks up at him, asking almost nervously, “and what am I?”

Such a good question that’s both simple and complicated. The easy answer is his wife. That’s just fact. Law. But the complex answer, the complex answer is that she’s so much more than that. That she’s become so much more than that. Where Roman finds himself craving her presence. A rarity for someone who typically avoids and shies away from social interactions like the plague.

Dipping his head to kiss her forehead, he answers in a low, steady voice, “my Lo’u Au.”

Her eyes flutter shut a bit as she murmurs, “it’s not fair you say things to me you know I can’t understand.” Roman watches her once again move around, this time sliding one leg over so that she’s sitting on his lap, straddling him. He doesn’t hesitate in moving his hands to the bottom of her ass, lifting her so she’s closer to him, her breast nearly touching his chest. Solana tilts her head to the side, whispering, “Yo siento muy bien contigo.”

Having her like this, so close against him, it doesn’t help that resolve, doesn’t do shit about the fact that his dick stiffens whenever she touches him. Like she is now. His eyes dip to her lips, so soft and full. “And what does that mean?”

Solana also seems to be on the same wavelength, her eyes also dropping to his mouth as she whispers with a small smile. “I’ll tell you when you tell me.”

Eyes shutting, Roman groans and tugs her even closer, her arms around his neck. “God, you drive me fuckin’ crazy.” Roman kisses her. Kisses her with all of the intensity and desire and borderline need he harbors for this woman.

And then she moans. She fucking moans in his mouth. His dick nearly fucking jerks as he stands up with her in his arms, Solana gasping and breaking the kiss to look around. “Roman….”

He needs to have his mouth on her, lips kissing the underline of her jaw as he brings them to the back of the jet, to the bed. He’s careful in how he lays her down, mindful of how she tugs on his shirt, pulling him on top of her and resuming their passionate kiss. 

Roman’s hands roam her body, but he pays extra attention to her breast, so big and soft, pillow soft under his hand as he kneads them, mindful of the way her nipples continue to harden under his touch.

“Roman….” Solana is breathing heavily, once again breaking their kiss, something he would otherwise be objected to if not for the two tiny words that leave her mouth. “Touch me.” 

His eyes widen a bit as he asks, almost unsure he heard her right. “What?”

Mouth parted, she licks her lips and again reiterates her previous request. “I—I want you to touch me.”

If not for not wanting to insult her intelligence, he’d remind her he is. He's touching her everywhere she’s previously admitted him access to. But, Roman would never do that nor is he stupid. He knows exactly what she’s referring to. And there’s suddenly a part of him that feels bad, wonders if she somehow thought that was the reason for him taking them to the bed. It wasn’t that. He just wanted privacy, wanted to give her that privacy. 

“Solana, I wasn’t—”

“Roman,” she says his name again, firmer, more committed almost to her request. “I trust you.” Three words. Three little words that pack such a heavy, emotional punch. “You’re…you’re going to have to when we finally…” She trails off, shaking her head. “Pl—please.” 

He shuts his eyes, jaw clenching. That one word alone coming from her is such a dangerous thing. Dangerous because it's incapable to say no to.

But, he doesn’t necessarily have to because her hand is on his, slowly moving it down from her breast, traveling down the span of her stomach and the top of her black pants. But instead of remaining there, Solana guides it under her waistband, her tour stopping when the palm of his hand presses softly on her mons pubis, still protected under the cotton of her underwear. Her eyes shut at this contact, but it’s when his fingers flitter near the space between her legs that she gasps.

His eyes snap to hers as he’s quick to ask, “do you want me to stop?”

And she’s immediately shaking her head ‘no,’ explain, “I’m just—not used to it.” She’s already so sensitive to his touch. Roman can’t even imagine what this level of sensitivity is going to look like when they go all the way. “It’s okay.” She’s again reassuring him, even spreading her thighs a bit, giving him better access.

Roman is hard as a fucking rock, but he taps into expert level self-control as he moves his other hand to her waistband, giving a slight tug. “Can I?”

She answers in a soft voice. “Yes.”

Solana lifts her hips as he slides her black pants down her shapely legs, his mouth practically watering to see and have so much of her soft skin exposed to him. He moves his hand to caress the skin of her inner thighs. She sighs, content, and this serves as more motivation to continue his efforts in following through on her task. 

Again, he’s making sure to catch her gaze. “Do….”

And once again, she partially takes him by surprise as she closes her eyes and instead of giving him the approval to remove the only remaining article of clothing keeping her covered from him, Solana takes her fingers to her underwear and pushes down, lifting her hips slightly until they're hooked around her ankles and kicked onto the floor.

Mouth previously watering, Roman feels a sudden, intense amount of dehydration. She’s completely bare and exposed to him, her cunt so smooth and pretty, lips glistening already just from their makeout.

If not for her trauma, he’d have already had this woman more times than he could count.

But, he’d especially already had her in his mouth. Licking his lips, he does his best to keep composure, maintaining the maturity of a grown ass man vs a horny ass teenage boy whose balls haven’t even dropped.

Once more, he asks, “are you sure?”

It might be overkill to some, but one thing’s for certain, he would never go this far without gaining her consent every step of the way. 

She answers, “yes.” 

Roman nods, starting his hand at the top of her belly, gradually teasing it downward until he’s touching her, long fingers gently caressing her lips, the tips of his fingers gathering some of her essence. “How you already this wet for me?”

It’s more rhetorical than anything, but it’s partially fueled with how her stomach caves in a bit just at that initial touch. Her being so responsive to just his hands does wonders for his ego but also fuels his burning to just make her feel good.

Roman uses long, slow strokes along the areas of her vulva, never taking his eyes off her face, mouth dropping open, eyes slamming shut and head craning back. Pleasure. She feels pleasure. That’s what he wants to see. All he wants to see.

There’s not an ounce of discomfort in sight.

“Roman…” Her moaning his name might be his new favorite song. So needy and wanton. It’s got his erection fighting for its life in his boxers. “Shit….”

He smirks a bit. “Must be good if I got you cussing, baby.” It’s evident in the way she becomes swollen underneath his expert touch, eventually exposing her clit. And it’s then that he brings his thumb to her clit, pressing softly, satisfied when she arches against the bed. “That’s it….”

Such light touches, not a finger entered into her yet, and she’s already so wet. Largely due to sexual deprivation and being touch starved. Of that, he’s certain. To be almost thirty and have never been touched as such as a woman seems almost criminal. He wants to give it to her though. Give her that experience. Give her all of the experiences. 

He works his thumb around her swollen clitoris, small circles, her growing wetness all the lube and slip he needs to work her good, in the way she deserves, in only how he can have her.

“Oh my god…” She’s starting to squirm against the bed, and he fucking loves it. Loves seeing how worked up he can get her. It makes the anticipation of actually being inside of her that much better. He plays around with different touches, different techniques, studying closely what seems to evoke the strongest physical reaction. A sort of a game, a way for him to learn her body, to learn what she likes. But also, for her to learn what she likes.

“You okay?” He checks in with her, seeing her nod ‘yes’ almost frantically. If not for the fact he can see speech is a bit difficult right now, he’d press her on actual words. But, he can extend some grace. “So fucking wet….” She’s a wet, soaking mess, pussy soaking his fingers, her thighs, and the bed under her. Not that he gives a flying fuck. Seeing her like this is better than he could have imagined, just a taste of what it’ll be like to be inside of her. 

But, it’s when he teases a finger near her opening, so wet and sticky that he clenches his jaw. Just that slight probing, and he can already tell how tight she is, can imagine that tightness gripping the mess out of his dick.

Roman carefully enters one finger and observes the way she tenses, whimpers, the way her cunt clenches against him. “Relax….” He coaxes her, talks her through it, allows her to adjust to the unfamiliar stretch while his thumb continues to play with her clit, never once stopping her pleasure train. 

And when she’s adjusted, he enters another finger, stopping there, not wanting to push her too far, recognizing how big this is for her. But when she shifts again, almost rocking against his fingers, Roman responds to her, moving in sync, staying along with her song and dance. He works with her, making the hitherto motion while his other fingers continue to rub and caress her into that higher room, that place of ecstasy. 

Roman can see it coming, can see her coming, see the way she starts to grip the sheets, the biting of her bottom lip.

“I’m—I’m—”

“Ride it out, baby. Let me see how pretty you look when you come on my hand.” His words of affirmation seem to take her over the edge, damn near her entire upper half arching off the bed, her body writing as she gives into the bliss, staying on that train to euphoria. 

Roman keeps his fingers inside of her just long enough to feel that fucking amazing sensation of making her come yet again, and he can’t help himself as he brings his soaked fingers to his mouth, tasting and licking off every bit of her. His eyes shut at her taste, just as fucking sweet as he imagined. 

God, he can’t wait to have this woman. 

Coming to, Solana sits up on her elbows a bit, looking down, becoming aware of just how messy things got. And she seems a bit embarrassed, offering what’s surely the start of an unnecessary apology. “I–oh my—I didn’t.”

Roman says nothing, just gets up and moves to the bathroom, grabbing a towel off the rack and bringing it to her. He’d clean her up himself, but he doesn’t necessarily trust himself to not try for take two.

Letting her handle it is the safest route, but he can work to dissuade any thought or feeling she might have that makes her think she did anything wrong.

“I’ll buy a new fucking mattress every damn day if it means I get to make you come like that.” 

Solana has cleaned herself and the bed as best she can as she reaches to slide her underwear back on. Roman has to push away his disappointment. She has such a pretty pussy. 

Her cheeks are red, partially because of what just occurred but also her naturally shy personality. “You’re really good at that.”

“I’m good at a lot of things, Solana.” He has every intention on eventually showing her just what those remaining things are, but time and place. 

He’ll be as patient with her as she needs. 

After Solana is all cleaned up, returned to a semi state of being adequately dressed, they fall into a sense of normalcy where she lays in bed, reading and writing a bit while he finishes up some work tasks on his laptop right beside her before she drifts off into a sleep that lasts longer than he was expecting.

He’s tempted to wake her when they start to descend, partially wanting her to look out the window at the clear, blue waters that he can admit are impressive looking. But, he decides against it, waiting until they’ve landed and are ready to exit the jet.

Gently shaking her shoulder, he stirs her, “Solana, wake up.” She does so relatively easily, pretty brown eyes blinking a little in confusion as he explains. “We made it.”

Those three words help bring her to a full state of consciousness. He smiles a bit seeing how she moves quicker than what’s probably necessary to get out of the bed and slide her shoes on, looking back at him and reaching for his hand.

Roman closes his laptop and does the same, taking her hand, guiding her out the jet. They’re both instantly met with an intense heat and radiating sun shining in their direction. They’re also met with the staff and security he made sure to have lined up and ready to go upon their arrival.  He walks out first, watching and taking her hand again as she follows him, face turned up in expected confusion. 

But, before she can ask anything, one of the men offers what may be a genuine smile. Not that Roman cares about that.

He flicks his gaze between the two of them. “Welcome to Isla Mujeres, Mr. and Mrs. Reigns….”

A loud gasp next to him is unsurprising, Solana almost spinning to look around, trying to process that she’s really standing on Mexican soil.

She eventually turns to him, eyes wide and then softening into something so warm and appreciative. “Roman…”

“It’s the only way I could get you to myself and away from my annoying ass cousins—” Once again, Roman is cut off by Solana throwing her body against his for a hug that results in him easily picking her up, her legs around his waist.. Similar to the embrace at the home library one. Emotional. Grateful. Happy.

She’s laughing a bit, even with tears burning her vision. “Thank you.”

Roman doesn’t correct her this time, just murmurs a ‘you’re welcome’ and kisses her temple. He  lets her back down, hand moving to her ass. “You’re gonna have to translate while we’re here though.”

Solana shakes her head. Such a small thing in exchange for such a major act of kindness. “That’s fine.” She holds onto his arm as the staff move to take their bags from the jet while security directs them to the SUV.

Solana is looking out the window almost the entire ride, captivated by the scenery, the landscape, the beauty of it all while he’s just focused on the beauty sitting right beside him.

She asks the driver something in Spanish, the answer putting an even bigger smile on her face. She turns to him, asking, “how long are we here for?”

“A week,” Roman answers, noticing the way her eyes light up even more. “Still think we shouldn’t have come?”

She rolls her eyes and playfully shoves her body against his, grabbing his arm and laying her head against his shoulder. “I just….I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“You could never inconvenience me. I do what I want. You know this.” His lips linger near her hairline. “And I wanted to do this for you.”

“Well, I’m appreciative. So much. You….you don’t know how much this means to me.” 

He thinks he has an idea. 

The ride from the airport to the house is approximately twenty minutes, and just like the moment Solana stepped foot off the jet, she’s got that same look of marvel painted all over her pretty place at the property.

Roman, meanwhile, is just satisfied the pictures didn’t lie. If anything, they didn’t do it justice. 

She’s almost like a child on Christmas as she asks with excitement, “is this where we’re staying?” Before he can answer, she’s indirectly apologizing. “Roman, you didn’t have to spend so much money on this place. We’re only going to be here a week. We could have just—”

“I’m rich, Solana. I only do ownership.”

Her jaw drops again. “You bought this?” He nods. She scoffs, looking around, trying to process the fact that she’s technically standing on her property. “So….so we could come back?” 

“I don’t know how often I could come with you, but you’re welcome to come and go as you please.” It goes without saying she’d have hefty security detail as well as either Bayley or Naomi attending, but beyond that, Roman could never see himself denying her this. Denying her the opportunity to connect more with her maternal side since the paternal side has only ever caused her nothing but heartache.

Here, there’s a chance to rewrite the chapter. 

She walks over to him, holding onto his forearm, asking almost tentatively. “Can I look around the house?”

“How about we do this instead?” She looks genuinely curious as he explains. “If it’s regarding your safety, you ask. If not, you just do it.” Roman’s unsurprised by her unsure expression. “I don’t get to decide how you live your life. That’s all you.”

“Unless it could present a safety risk?”

“Exactly. Cause in that case, the answer is probably no.” A part of him dislikes having a caveat, but in the world they live in, with him being who he is, he can’t take any risks. He won’t take any risks. Not when it comes to her.

Ever.

Solana nods as if she understands better now. She slides her hand down, taking his with hers as she lightly tugs on his arm. “Come with me.”

It’s an easy request. There’s not much she could ask he’d say no to. If anything. 

Solana is just as amazed by the inside of the house as the outside, especially the kitchen, the first thing she gravitates to. Naturally.

“We have to go shopping,” she shares. “So I can cook.”

“Solana, you’re not cooking while we’re here.” She frowns, a pout almost on her pretty face. “We’re celebrating your birthday. The fuck I look like you making you cook on something that’s supposed to be for you? I hired a chef for us.”

Her frown softens a bit as she lays her hand on his chest. “You’re not making me do anything. I—I like cooking. You know this.”

“I know you do, but I want you to relax and enjoy yourself while we’re here.” His hands move down to her ass. “Starting with the pool in the back.”

A small smile grows on her face. “There’s a pool?”

He nods, imagining that sexy body of hers clad in one of those skimpy two pieces he told Bayley and Naomi to make sure she purchased plenty of. “I told you. Half naked, baby.” She giggles as he squeezes her ass and lightly pushes on his chest, separating them.

“Where’s our bedroom?”

He has to think about it for a minute. “Down the hall. Should be the first or second room on the right.” Again, she grabs his hand, guiding them based upon his directions. Directions that prove correct, Solana once again taken back by the luxury of it all. The room is damn near bigger than some apartments and provides direct access to the back of the house which houses the pool and hot tub.

“This is all so beautiful…..”

“Hmmm.”

Solana briefly turns from looking out the door when two of the guards bring her and Roman’s luggage into the room. She thanks them, while Roman just seems to glare at them to get them to leave immediately, which they do.

Once alone, she turns to Roman, “can we—” He doesn’t even have to correct her. She does it all on her own. “I—I want to go see the beach.”

He smirks. Assertiveness looks damn good on her. “Then let’s go to the beach.”

________

Roman is both surprised and unsurprised when Solana walks out the bathroom, a cover up partially preventing him from seeing whatever bathing suit she picked. And his disappointment must show as she murmurs, “I’ll take it off when we get there.”

Feeling like it’ll help her feel a bit better, less self-conscious, he informs, “it’ll just be us. I had the beach….cleared, if you will.”

Obviously confused, she wonders aloud, “how….how do you clear a beach?” Solana gasps, lowering her voice as she asks in an almost scared tone. “Did you….did you kill anyone?”

“Not today. Not yet, at least.” The way her eyes widen a bit makes him chuckle. “I’m Roman Reigns, Solana.” He walks past her, adding with all of the arrogance that he can without a doubt back up, “I always get what I want.”

Solana says nothing. Not that she needs to say anything. However, she notices then what Roman was messing with on the bed before she walked out the bathroom. “What is this?” She walks over, reaching for but not touching the camera. “You bought a camera?”

“I’ve had that for years.”

Curious, she less asks and more makes a simple statement, sharing, “I didn’t know you were into photography.”

He shrugs, almost indifferent. Dismissive. “It’s an interest. Haven’t really done much of it in a while.”

“You should,” she encourages. Solana would love to see and support him embrace a side of him that isn’t so deeply embedded in his work that seems never ending. “Especially while we’re here. It’s all so beautiful…”

“I could photograph you and get the same result.”

She smiles, looking away while admitting, “I—I don’t really like having my picture taken.”

“Too bad.” She looks back at him, Roman explaining. “That’s also an insecurity thing. I told you. I’m not letting you feed your insecurities.”

A part of her is grateful for that, grateful for him. Appreciative that he always seems to remind her of these things that she still struggles to notice or believe about herself from time to time. Like the fact that she is beautiful.

“Okay,” she relents, partially knowing it’s not like Roman will give in anyway. “But…but you can’t show them to anyone.”

“Solana, I don’t like sharing you with anyone as it is. You really think I’m trying to share some pictures?” It’s a fair, valid point. “No, I won’t show them to anyone.”

Pleased with the acknowledgement, the two finish getting ready and are out the door in less than 20 minutes. Given the fact that the property is more or less on the water, they opt, more Solana, asks to walk versus driving. Roman isn’t opposed. The beach is cleared, security is roaming the property, not to mention it’s a beautiful day.

Plus, he enjoys intentionally lagging a bit behind to enjoy the jiggle of her ass as she walks ahead of him.

Truly a win-win for all.

The minute she steps foot onto the sand, enters onto the actual beach, there’s a bit of a shift. Nothing negative. The complete opposite. Roman can sense her emotion growing, the reality of finally being in her mom’s home country truly settling in. 

He’s partially surprised by just how quickly she moves to the actual water, standing in the space where sand and ocean meet.

“My mom was right….” His gaze falls on her. “It’s so beautiful.” She steps forward a bit more, wind pushing the water closer as it grazes her feet. “I want to go in.” Another slight surprise, but not entirely. A part of the reason he’s been having her get in the pool was for this very moment, to lessen and minimize her fear so she could truly embrace this experience for all it can offer.

He nods but gestures to the camera bag. “Pictures first.”

She scowls a bit, and he chuckles, pulling the camera out. “Roman…”

“Non-negotiable, baby.” And she knows this, knows he’s not letting up when it comes to building her self-esteem and demolishing her body insecurity.

“Okay….” It feels a bit strange at first, posing as Roman snaps photos of her. She’s more than certain the first set of photos look just as awkward as she feels. But as time passes and with his encouragement and slight guidance, the awkwardness melts into something similar to relaxation. Her smile is a natural thing vs the result of being told to smile. 

And even when he tells her to remove the cover up, there’s some level of apprehension about being photographed in her bathing suit, but there’s also a level of confidence and reassurance that it’s literally just the two of them.

Roman has her damn near posing like it’s a real photoshoot, and when all is said and done, she’s tugging on his arm as he puts the camera away. “Come with me.”

Solana is both surprised and thankful when he doesn’t push back on her request, doesn’t deny it. There’s an obvious level of disinterest, but it’s nothing compared to his desire to make her happy. 

And in the beautiful ocean water that brushes past in little ripples and slight waves against her shoulder, holding onto her strong, handsome husband who seems to look at her like she set all the stars in the sky, she feels just that:

Happy

________

Solana is unsure just how long they spend at the beach. Long enough that by the time they return to the house, the chef he hired for them, an older, kind woman named Maria, has dinner just about ready to serve. And it’s exactly when they finish showering and cleaning up, the plate of delicious food is laid on the table, ready to devour.

It’s a bit of a different yet pleasant experience being able to have dinner with her husband. More often than not, he has to take it in his office due to his volume of work. So having him across from her, being able to talk with him while they indulge in Pozole is a kind of happiness she could get used to. 

But, it’s later that evening when they lay in the bed, Solana’s body sprawled on top of his much bigger one, Roman’s hand under her pajama shirt rubbing her skin, that something comes over her. A desire to unload something that’s been oscillating in the back of her head, no matter how many times she tries to push it away.

“I feel bad.” 

He doesn’t look down, just asks her calmly, “about?”

Solana licks her lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt him that badly.”

Roman had a feeling that’s what she was referring to, but he didn’t want it to be true. “Solana—”

“I know. I know I defended myself, but….” She tries to word it as best she can, though she also knows there’s little to no way Roman will abandon his ardent belief that Wes got exactly what he deserved. “I keep thinking about my mom and how….she always reminded me that at the end of the day, Wes is my brother, and a lot of his behavior was because of my dad.”

Roman does his best to keep his voice leveled, to keep out the unsettled anger he holds and will always hold against her piece of shit sibling. He doesn’t want her to think any level of that anger is directed toward her. “You were kids then, Solana. Sure, Xavier probably said and influenced a lot of things, but your brother isn’t a child anymore. He’s a grown man. There’s no excuse for the things he’s said and done to you.”

None whatso–fucking—ever.

And Solana knows that, hence her expressing agreement. “I know you’re right.” Her voice drops a bit, paving way for more vulnerability. “I just….I was so angry that night, and…and I’m not an angry person. I—I don’t like that.” Before he can continue his work to take away her unrequited feelings, she asks almost over a whisper, “what does it feel like to kill someone?”

Her question takes him back a bit, but he knows why she’s asking, where it’s coming from.

“Solana—”

She sits up, looking down at him, eyes watering. “If he dies….”

He brings his hand to her cheek, comforting her, “he won’t. That bastard isn’t allowed to die. Not unless it’s by my hand.”

Roman has ensured Wes has the best medical care money can provide solely for the fact that while his beating was well-deserved, it’s paltry compared to all of the ways Roman wants to make that bastard suffer before he encounters the fiery gates of hell. 

Xavier as well.

She shakes her head, sniffling, “I don’t—I can’t live with knowing I took someone’s life. I—” Her voice cracks. “I just can’t.”

“You won’t,” he vows. Anyone who would ever need to cease to exist because they’ve wronged her in some way, he would handle. He will handle. Because he agrees. Solana is a pure soul. Despite all of the evil surrounding and done to her, she’s retained her kind heart and gentle spirit. Killing someone, taking another life, destroys that, forever pollutes the soul in a way that’s irreversible. 

Roman would die before he let that happen to her.

But the topic of this conversation, it brings something else up for Solana. Something that literally shatters her spirit to think about, let alone verbalize aloud. But, she has to tell him, can’t keep it to herself any longer. It’s not fair to him with how good he’s been to her. 

She loves him too much to continue to lie to him.

“Roman…” Her throat suddenly feels so dry, stomach weighed down by a slate of concrete. “There’s something I—”

“Shhhh.” He sits up, bringing his other hand to her cheek, fully cupping her face. “Tomorrow is your birthday, Solana. You don’t need to be this upset.” He again brushes away her tears, gently adding, “I don’t like seeing you upset.”

Her eyes shut. He has no idea the increased emotion is for an entirely different reason. “But—”

Roman seems keen on not allowing the conversation to continue, solely because he dislikes how troubled she’s getting. Sees it as unfair. “It’s gonna be fine.” He then asks, “you trust me, don’t you?” She nods softly. That’s given at this point. There’s no one she trusts more than Roman Reigns. “Then trust I’ve got this.”

Her eyes shut, as she tries to listen and marinate on his words. Her husband is adept at remaining calm and being prepared for any and everything. She…she has to trust that for right now. Trust him. 

Has to table this conversation. For now.

Roman guides her to lay back down on his chest, Solana snuggling against him. “I’ve got you, Sol.” Her heart nearly bursts at that, at the nickname she hasn’t been called in years. The name her mother often referred to her as. Her eyes shut, stomach settling, emotions subsiding in the way only Roman seems capable of orchestrating. “Always.”

________

The first thing Solana notices when she wakes up the next morning is the noticeable empty space besides her. The space where Roman should be sleeping, his muscular arm around her body, holding her against him. 

Instead, she awakes on her back, alone, with no Roman in sight.

She frowns for a few seconds, sitting up in the bed and rubbing her eyes. The sadness shifts away just as soon as it appeared. Solana knows he must either be in the gym or doing something for work. There’s very little concern that he’s ventured far.

It’s why she grabs her phone off the nightstand only to find a plethora of birthday texts and an attached photo of Dulce in the group chat with her, Naomi, Bayley, Jimmy, and Jey.

Bayley: Happy birthday, friend! Roman’s ass better be treating you like the queen you are! 💙 Love you so much and can’t wait until you get back so we can fuck up some more trucks together! 😜

Naomi: What Bayley said! Happy freaking birthday, Solana! Even if you wanted to, you ain’t getting rid of us. Sisters for life! 💚

Jey: Happy birthday, lil sis! Make sure you take lots of pics of Free Willy over there!

Jimmy: Man, you dumb asf. They supposed to look at dolphins! Not sharks! Free Willy was a shark!

Jimmy: Happy birthday, sis!

Naomi: Solana, you can feel absolutely feel free to mute this chat until you return. 😐

Bayley: Or forever.

There’s a myriad of emotions coursing through her. So much happiness. Bayley. Naomi. Jimmy. Jey. A family. They’ve become her family. 

It brings tears to her eyes and keeps her in bed a couple minutes longer as she basks in the kind words and love.

It also keys her into just what Roman has planned for her big day. That brings on an additional layer of emotionality. He’s so so good to her.

Solana: Thank you, guys. You all have no idea what you mean to me. 🥺♥️

Placing her phone on the nightstand, she finally climbs out of bed and into the bathroom to pee, brush her teeth, and wash her face. She decides against placing the robe over her pajamas. An unnecessary thing considering Roman’s seen just about all of her at this point.

It'll make telling or asking him the realization she’s come to just a tad bit easier.

Out the bathroom and down the steps, sure enough, she finds him, burly body plopped down on one of the chairs in the kitchen, Maria working away to prepare what’s probably a more than necessary, grand breakfast.

Roman’s hearing and peripheral vision is expert level, because she’s barely in the kitchen when he lifts his gaze from the open laptop in front of him and sets his sights on her. One finger beckons her in his direction. An unnecessary thing considering that’s exactly where she was already headed.

Solana is easily guided onto his lap, Roman taking index finger under her chin for a kiss that’s so soft compared to his typically rough demeanor. She smiles. “Good morning….”

He chuckles. “Morning.” His hand moves to her cheek, “happy birthday.”

Heart filled, she lays her head against his shoulder, intentionally not looking at the computer in the event it’s private but still asks. “What are you doing?”

He instead motions for her to do just that. “Look.”

She does, and instantly she’s burying her face back into him. “Roman, I hate looking at pictures of myself.” Because that’s what’s on his screen, one of the photos he took of them at the beach yesterday. 

“Too bad, cause that might be one of my new favorite things.” She smiles yet again, a given whenever she’s around him. Solana also finds herself forcing her attention back to the screen, reaching to click through the photos, most of her, which is uncomfortable but still bearable. However, her attention is mostly drawn to the ones not of her, of the beach and nature and scenery that he took. 

“These are so good.” She finds herself complimenting him, because it’s true. Added to the long list of things Roman is exceptionally good at is photography. She teases him a little. “You should photograph more.”

He scoffs, an almost bitter tone to his voice. Not directed at her, of course. “When?”

She shrugs. “I—I don’t know, but we can figure it out. If…if you like to do it, then you should do it.” And just like that, she’s determined to help him figure out just that. It’s the least she can do for him.

Truly.

Noticing Maria multitasking, Solana calls out and asks, “Maria, do you need any help?”

The older woman gasps dramatically and waves away the offer as if it was an insult. “Nonsense, child. It is your birthday. You must rest and let that handsome husband of yours treat you.”

Solana laughs a bit. 

Roman asks, “what did she say?”

“I asked her if she needs any help, and she basically told me I don’t get to do any of that cause it’s my birthday.”

“Damn straight,’ Solana giggles as he moves his hand to her hip. “We’ll leave after breakfast.”

Being honest, she dances her fingers up his arm, teasing almost, “I know where we’re going….” 

Roman gives her one of those infamous smirks which quickly drops when he realizes something. “Which one was it? Dumb or Dumber?”

Giggling, she hands him her phone, opening the group chat and showing him the messages.

His eyes rake over the words, and Solana has to bite back her laugh at the absolute irritated expression painted on his handsome face when he’s done. “Even hundred fucking miles away, they ruin shit.”

She kisses his cheek, wanting to calm him down. “It’s okay.” Solana suddenly asks. “Are you gonna do it with me?”

He gives her a look. “That’s for you, Sol. Not me.”

She pouts a little, gently reminding him, “but…it can be for the both of us.”

“Swimming with Dolphins screams you. Not me.” He adds on with an almost scowl and shake of his head. “I’m too old for that shit.” Curious, he switches the topic a bit, asking, “does our age difference bother you?”

“I never really thought of it,” she answers, honestly. Roman being older than her truly has never been anything she’s considered to be an issue. At the beginning of this whole arrangement, she had a slate of other much more relevant reasons to be cautious and wary. All of those reasons almost making her laugh a bit because they’re so far away from the truth. “So, no.” She shrugs, adding. “I—I never really had good luck with guys my age anyway.” Or, at all, really. “Besides….” She chews on her bottom lip, coyly starting off a leading sentence, “there’s nothing about you that bothers me….except—”

Roman is every bit as eager as he looks for the rest. “Except?”

She bats her eyelashes, almost intentionally trying to butter him up. “If you could be a little nicer to your cousins….”

“Baby, how many times do we have to have this conversation?” He once again reiterates what, in his mind, should be painfully obvious. “I’m not a nice person.”

“But you are,” she stresses, fingers moving through his beard. “You are to me.”

“It’s different with you, Solana.” He’s not necessarily in the space to explain just how it’s different, but it is. She’s in a category all on her own. “Look….do my cousins piss me off at least 8 times a day? Yes. Do I have thoughts of homicide regarding them at least once a day? Sure. But….” He blows out a breath. “We’ve been friends since we were little kids. They’re family. I would die for them just as quickly as I know they would die for me.”

While she understands his point and is grateful for his level of openness and vulnerability, Roman and death in the same sentence brings out an almost physical reaction on her part.

That’s not even something she can tolerate thinking about.

She would lose her fucking mind if something were to ever happen to him. 

Solana is desperate to change the subject, needing something, literally anything, other than Roman dying to think about. “I….I know what I want you to give me for my birthday.”

His brow lifts as he asks with a bit of attitude. “You planning on telling me, considering it’s here?”

She smiles softly, finger trailing down his face. “Later….” Solana climbs off his lap, rubbing her stomach. “Right now, I just want to eat breakfast with my husband.”

________

It’s called Dolphin Discovery. The activity Roman has planned for the morning of her birthday, and it consists of exactly what the title implies as well as what Jimmy and Jey unintentionally spoiled for her.

Not that that’s a big deal, per se.

It doesn’t dim her excitement. The way her smile is painted on her face at the private event Roman arranged for just them, the only other people are the staff and instructors who guide the event. 

Solana is even able to convince Roman to join her for a short period of time in the water, granted he looks irritated and uninterested the entire time. Still, she knows his focus and priority is just making sure she has a nice time.

And she does. 

It’s full of smiles and laughter. 

Just as the rest of the day as Solana asks to go to the beach after, fully enamored with the crystal clear water and beauty that is the island of las mujeres. Of course, this comes with the almost stipulation from Roman that he has to photograph her again.

She’s less uncomfortable this time around, posing for his photos without as much reservation. The decreased inhibitions largely due to her overall happiness. Solana hasn’t felt so great, so in love with life for a very long time.

If ever. 

But, she’s even more touched when Roman guides them back to the beach later that evening what’s a private dinner for just the two of them.

“Roman….” She can’t help to take in the beautiful set up as he pulls out the seat for her. “This is so beautiful….”

He takes her in as he sits opposite of her, the way her dress hugs her so beautifully, the soft set of her eyes as she continues to marvel, smiling so genuinely at the setup. “Very…”

She brings her attention back onto him, reminding, “Roman, you really….you really didn’t have to do all of this. I would have been just as happy back home with you.”

“That’s too boring.” He dismisses, reaching across the table for her hand. “Too close to people. I wanted you to myself.”

She smiles, teasing him a bit. “Is that why it’s just been mostly you and me so far?”

“Damn straight.” 

She giggles, head tilted as she turns his hand over, tracing the lines of his palm. “Me haces muy feliz….”

His eyes squint with intrigue. “You’re really going to make me learn Spanish, aren’t you?”

“No,” she answers softly, focused on her gesture with his hand. “I’m…I’m not saying anything you don’t already know.”

“Which is?” 

Her eyes lift to his, locking intensely. “How much I care about you.” 

How much I love you.

That part…..that he doesn’t know. Or maybe he does. Solana knows she wears her heart on her sleeve to a certain extent. Knows how perceptive her husband is. But, if he has noticed, he hasn’t said anything. And she’s partially grateful for that, because acknowledging her love for him, internally anyway, is something that she’s okay with. Something she doesn’t really question.

She can’t say the same for him.

Love and Roman have a complicated history she can’t even begin to truly understand. It may not be something he feels capable of anymore, not after the kind of loss he experienced. And she can understand that. She’s okay with that. Because the way he treats her, the way he makes her feel, the happiness he brings her….it’s more than enough.

It’s all she needs.

The dinner itself is just as wonderful as any other meal they’ve had the past two days, but what Solana mostly enjoys is the conversation. Being able to talk to and with Roman has easily become one of her favorite things. Their conversation never goes stale, and even when she worries she’s annoying him, he keeps it going.

He truly is becoming one of her best friends. Not in the same way Naomi and Bayley have. Something different, something deeper almost. Still as appreciated. 

And it’s when the dinner comes to a close, Solana is once again taken back by Roman’s nearly limitless generosity when he gifts her a set of bracelets, Louis Vuitton, Cartier, and other luxury brands she’s certain the combination of cost equalling what some people pay for homes let alone jewelry. 

The depth of his kindness toward her will never cease to amaze her.

Back at the house, she has a bit of a hard time getting him to use the shower in the master bedroom vs using the one down the hall. She comes up with a weak excuse regarding shower design preference, and while she’s certain he doesn’t believe her one bit, he lets it go.

And Solana is utterly grateful, because she needs to be completely separated in order to prepare for the thing she’s wanted and thought about since last night, since she decided it’s truly what she wants.

Everything he’s done thus far has been more than thoughtful, but this….this is something on an entirely different level. 

She’s just stepped out the shower and wrapped the towel around her body when a random thought about what tonight could and most likely will entail flashes in her mind. 

Solana closes her eyes and tries to ignore the aching between her legs, even if she knows it’s a fruitless effort. 

Roman has been an absolute saint, patient beyond belief with her and this gradual process of working up to being intimate. Always checking in with her every step of the way.

But…..but lately, she finds herself….thinking about him in….different ways. Wondering what it would be like to finally go all the way. To be with him fully in that way.

Ways she previously couldn’t allow herself to think about. Too hindered by the memories of her trauma. 

Yet with him, it’s something unlike what she’s used to. Her chest doesn’t feel like it’s about to explode, and she doesn’t find herself panicking, needing to push him away from her, to not have any hands on her because they all feel the same, the same as her rapists.

With Roman…..that’s not her story. It’s just him she sees, feels, wants.

By the time she’s done with her shower, Solana has to reach across the bathroom counter to wipe her hand across the fogged mirror. She hits the switch for the vent and digs through her toiletries bag for the essentials and gets into her routine, focusing way too much on what she’s doing to avoid the thought sitting impatiently in the back of her head.

But, it’s when she’s reached the end of her routine and goes to grab her bra and panties she had sitting on the counter, that she pauses.

Scared.

Solana realizes that’s one of the dominant emotions she’s struggling with. She’s scared to go for what she wants. It’s a tale as old as time. Fear is always the thing that holds us back the most, that keeps us from reaching goals, attaining desires, being freed.

For so long, she believed that she was damaged. That the trauma of her past made it impossible for her to ever have a healthy sexual relationship with another person. But Roman has changed that. He’s changed her life in so many ways, and now, she is presented with the chance and opportunity to take back her power, to reclaim her sexuality.  

And now….she’s ready to do just that. 

Solana slowly retracts her hand and instead slides her pink, silk gown over her head, ignoring the almost strange feeling of having nothing underneath her dress. Solana keeps staring at her reflection, mentally going over everything: floss, mouthwash, deodorant, lotion, perfume on all of her pulse points. 

When she realizes that she’s only stalling, she forces herself to leave the bathroom. Solana makes her way down the hall and into the master. She’s relieved to see he’s still in the bathroom and decides to sit and wait on the edge of the bed. Similar to how her nerves are on edge. In the bathroom, the pep talk was more motivating and inspiring. Now, in this space, her anxiety is doing those damn flips again. 

“Solana?” Her head lifts and she stands up. Roman is standing near the bathroom door, shirtless, gray sweats hanging dangerously low, his hair down. Solana watches his gaze darken, slowly taking in her immodest state, focusing on the clear outline of her nipples pressing against the thin material. “What are you—”

She says nothing and instead grabs his hand, leading him to the bed. She switches their positions and guides him to sit on the end of the bed as she straddles him, her legs on either side of him. Solana refuses to think about the possible exposure from this position and instead focuses on him.

“I want you,” is all she says, quiet but sure. “I want you for my birthday.”

His face reads a mixture of emotions, primarily confusion. 

And lust.

“Solana….” He seems to want to move his hands to her waist but hesitates. “I didn’t….that’s not why I brought you here. I would never pressure you—”

“I know,” she interrupts, softly. “You’ve always let me set the pace, so….so let me set it now.” She brings her hands to his face, looking him dead in the eye as she repeats, “What I want for my birthday….is you.” A fleeting thought creeps across her mind when she adds, “unless….unless you don’t want me th—”

Roman switches their positions so quickly that she can barely process what’s happening until she’s flat on her back with him hovering above her. His eyes are fluttering as he works to settle himself, breathing out, “I’ve always wanted you, baby. Just needed you to tell me when.”

She licks her lips and lightly glides her fingers over his abs. He’s so firm. “And now?”

“Now?” Roman moves his hand to her knees, slowly prying them apart. She breathes in as he starts to move his fingers up the inside of her legs. “After tonight, ain’t nobody else gon’ have you like this,” his thumb brushes over her inner thigh and she grabs his bicep. “Feel you like this,” Solana’s head goes back into the bed when he glosses his fingers over her apex. “Or taste you like this but me.” Their gazes lock. “Understood? You’re mine.”

His tone is commanding and authoritative. She can mumble a quiet ‘yes’ in agreement when his head drops between the crook of her neck, his hair fanning her face, pulling his hand from between her legs. “Promise me you’ll tell me if we need to stop.” 

She gently caresses the back of his neck, reassuring him. “Roman, I’m fin—”

“Solana,” he interrupts. There’s no denying or questioning of the seriousness in his tone of voice. “Promise me.”

She nods and rakes her fingers over his scalp. “I promise.”

Roman is visibly pleased by this, eyes raking over her body. “Good.” He lowers his lips to hers, hands moving to explore her body. “So fucking pretty….”

The light kiss easily progresses into something more intense, something deeper, something that has her feeling so flustered and warm all over. His pants are quickly discarded, leaving him in boxers only. Roman continues to massage and knead her breast, along with the palming of her ass yet still makes active efforts to receive consent, always checking her comfort levels.

Initiating this is major.

Her lips are nice and swollen when he starts kissing around her face before grabbing her hand and turning it over. Two long fingers press against her wrist. 

He doesn’t say anything for a good minute, prompting her to ask, “what are you—”

“Do you trust me?” 

There’s not a second of hesitation or delay. “Of course.” 

“I need to relax you more.” With his free hand, his thumb flicks over her nipple as he explains, just as tender as every other thing he’s done to maintain her comfort. “You’re still tensing a bit under me, and the more tense you are, the more it’s going to hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you…”

Swallowing, she replies back in the same soft tone. “You could never hurt me, Roman.” His eyes flash with something almost soft. Like affection. Like something deeper. “But…I understand. What…what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t want you to do anything. Tonight is about you.” Her eyes flutter shut as he brings his mouth back to her neck, speaking against her soft skin. “Just want you to let me take care of you…” And it’s as he continues to travel down her body, tugging at her dress as much as he can to press a trail of kisses between the valley of her breast, and halting near her covered belly button that she understands what he’s asking her.

And suddenly her cheeks are on fire. Solana isn’t entirely naive. She knows that plenty of people engage in oral sex, but she’s also heard a lot of men prefer not to. Prefer to receive rather than give. “I…..you….you don’t have to—”

“Solana, I’ve wanted to taste you since the first day I met you.” His words, dark and dripping with need make her bite down on her bottom lip as his finger trails along her inner thigh. “Will you let me?”

She’s insecure and a shade of unsure for reasons entirely unrelated to her trauma. Maybe there’s some influence there, but it’s primarily the intimacy of it all. But, she then realizes he’s eventually going to be inside of her before the night ends, so his mouth being on her most intimate area….isn’t really a major difference.

Swallowing, she answers, voice catching for a second with a need she didn’t recognize until this moment. “Y–yes.”

His eyes light with desire, but he doesn’t miss a beat in reminding her yet again that she’s fully in control tonight. “Tell me to stop and we stop. I don’t care what’s happening. All I care about is you. Alright?” 

Solana nods. “O–okay.”

Roman kisses her stomach and wastes no time in helping her remove her dress, leaving her fully exposed to him, physically and emotionally. Slowly, he pries her thighs apart, seeing how she bites on her bottom lip when he teases a finger against her. 

“Still so sensitive…..” There’s a level of intrigue there, Solana watching Roman push his hair back, his tongue exiting his mouth and wetting his lips. “You’ll get used to me.”

She’s not sure she could ever get used to a man like Roman, and the minute his tongue flattens against her there, she’s almost certain she’ll never get used to that.

“Oh my god.”

He looks up at her, Solana suppressing a moan at the sight of his big body between the space of her thighs, mouth curved into a wry smile. “I barely touched you, baby….”

That doesn’t stop the fire coursing through her body.

“You want me to stop?” A frantic shaking of her head to signify a hell no is all he needs. He’ll settle for no verbal acknowledgement this time. “Good.” Salona gasps as he hooks the back of her knees over his big shoulders. “Now lay back and let me take care of you...”

It seems like all Roman has done is take care of her, but this is a new level of care, one that has her scratching and gripping helplessly at the sheets as he licks at her one, two, three times before his tongue darts around and plays with her in a way that makes her stomach tangled and twisted.

Solana whimpers when he starts sucking on her clit. “Fuck being inside you, just let me stay with this sweet pussy in my mouth.”

For a second, she considers it, because the way he laps and sucks on her has her brain practically fried trying to comprehend how just his tongue alone can have her nearly worming off the bed.

His big, strong hands grip her thighs, holding her in place as he never once lifts his head for air.

“Roman…..”

“You taste better than I imagined.” She swears she feels him kiss her slick folds. “Gonna have you sit on my face the next time….”

The terror at that thought is short lived and stomped upon by his hands traveling up her body, gripping her breast, squeezing just enough to make her moan yet again, head pressed back into the pillow. 

His name slips out her mouth for what feels like the 20th time as she moves her hands on top of his, stomach arching, pussy pressing further against his mouth. He makes a sound down there, but sound isn’t the focus when all of her most sensitive nerve endings are being so beautifully catered to.

But then it becomes too much, Roman switching to a lethal combination that includes sucking on her clit while two fingers enter inside her. It has her nearly jumping off the bed, unintentionally inching away from him.

Roman hums against her lifting up only to warn, “stop running from me, baby.” He’s playing with the mess she’s made, essence practically dripping from his beard. “This pussy is too good to not indulge myself.”

And before she can protest, can try to find some words to string together, he’s back in between her legs, and Solana finds her hands moving to the top of his hand. She can’t tell if she wants to just shove him away or shove him closer. 

A strange yet wonderful dichotomy. 

There’s no telling how long he’s down there, feasting so eagerly on her like he’s been waiting on this. Like, he’s been yearning for this. The same way Solana is starting to realize she too unintentionally wanted this. Wanted to know what it could and does feel like to be intimate, to have those normal, sexual needs met. It was just all hidden and obscured behind a dense wall of trauma the same man bringing her to heaven has helped her dismantle. 

She owes him so much.

Especially for the way he gives her an orgasm that has her wanting to scream his name loud enough for anyone within 100 miles to hear. That just might have been the case too if she didn’t press her lips together as she rode out her orgasm, Roman still remaining between her thighs as he helps her through it, letting her ride out her pleasure still against his greedy mouth.

He seems so hungry for her. 

When he finally makes his way up, presses his lips against her, Solana moans at the taste of herself on his mouth. He smirks against her lips.

“I told you I’m good at a lot of things..”

She smiles, her eyes blinking. “Roman, I—I’m ready.”

He doesn’t look surprised, but he does look hesitant. “Solana….”

“This is what I want. I—I want to be with you….fully.” Even as the words leave her mouth, the aftershock of her orgasm still trying to subside, she’s nervous. She’s nervous because there will always be that small voice in the back of her head telling her she shouldn't, that she can’t, that sex has been forever ruined for her. 

But, it’s almost as if just looking at Roman, at feeling his desire and care for her, it snuffs those voices out, locks them in a closet with a key that he’ll make sure is never found. “I—I want you inside me.”

And there’s something either about that or the way she words it that seems to trigger the okay switch for him. He gently traces the outline of her lips. “We’ll take it slow.” 

She nods as he brings his fingers to her wrist again. Her pulse. She realizes he’s checking for her pulse, trying to gauge her heart rate, assessing for any spiked anxiety. 

“You’re relaxed, but…it still might hurt at first.”

“I know,” she murmurs, heat rising to her cheeks as she explains so simply yet accurately. “It’s…it’s because you’re big.”

Roman smiles, and that alone chips away a chunk of her anxiety. His smile is so beautiful.

It’s not missed upon her, however, that he doesn’t deny it. Not that he can. She’s heard enough, felt enough, even seen enough to some extent to know that he is very much an overall big man. And yet there’s not a damn thing about him that she finds intimidating, that she’s scared of.

His strength doesn’t scare her. Not anymore.

Just makes her feel safe. 

Solana feels him shift atop her, but she doesn’t remove her gaze from the vaulted ceiling above them. He’s most likely removing his boxers, the only piece of clothing separating that part of him from that part of her. 

She tries to lower her eyes down between their heated bodies, partially wanting to see him for herself, to see what’s about to enter her when Roman brings his hand under her chin, forcing her gaze back onto him. “It’s just you and me….okay?”

Her eyes flutter closed for a second as she nods, opening and breathing back, “you and me…”

Roman lowers his mouth back onto hers, taking her for a slow sensual kiss that’s timed perfectly with the exact moment the thick tip of his dick gradually descends into her tight, wet opening. Solana gasps into his mouth, taken back by the stretch of him, a slight burning sensation that’s eased by the way he kisses her jawline, asking if she wants him to stop.

The answer is easy. 

“N–no. I’m fine.” She murmurs, grabbing him by his face and kissing him again, utilizing the talent of his mouth on hers to blur away the borderline discomfort of his initial entry. Roman is certainly well endowed and an initial level of pain is to be expected, both from his size and her experience. But, she needs his kisses to keep her from gravitating to that other painful experience, to keep her from getting triggered.

And something tells her that he knows as much without her needing to say anything. He’s consistent and dedicated in keeping his mouth on hers, his tongue raking across her bottom lip before he enters in yet another part of her. She does her best to keep up with him, to match his passion, but deep pants often break their rhythm as he continues to sink into her. He feels so deep, and he’s not even all the way in.

And when she’s moaning and groaning at the newfound stretch of him, his voice is in her ear apologizing, asking again if she wants him to stop. The answer is the same as before. Just worded differently.

“I want all of you.” 

The good. The bad. It doesn’t matter. She just wants him.

Roman is the one to groan this time, resting his forehead against hers, “fuck, you’re so tight.”

Once finally and fully seated in her, Solana is grateful that he gives her a second to breathe, to adjust to this new sensation. Still uncomfortable, the fullness in such a sensitive area, but also comforted by Roman, by his constant attempts to assess her comfort levels. It’s why after a few minutes she glides her hands up his arms and encourages him to continue. “M–move.”

He’s studying her, like he’s done at every point throughout this process. “Are you sure?”

She nods and quickly remembers his one rule. “Yes.”

Though her eyes are closed, Solana can feel Roman’s gaze burning into her as he shifts his hips, the thickness of him slowly sliding out of her, lessening that fullness only to slowly re-enter, bringing it right back. He keeps this pace, slow and gradual, working her as gently as he can, never not watching for any sign of distress. 

And it’s at some point that burning sensation washes away into something unfamiliar but desirable. It morphs into a form of pleasure that has her head slipping back against the pillow, her stomach starting to cave under his expert thrusts. His name falls out her mouth in the form of a breathy moan. “Roman….”

“Does that feel good?” She cries out as he kisses her shoulder, hand kneading her breast. “Tell me what feels good.”

The answer is easy, “everything.” And she means it, there’s not a trace of pain she can identify as she moves her hands up his muscular back as he switches up his pace, quicker but deeper thrusts that have her nails digging into his taut skin. “Oh….”

His head drops down in the crook of his neck. “God, you feel fucking amazing.” His hands drop to her hips, pulling her up to meet him thrust for thrust. “Could stay inside of you like this for hours….”

Solana chews down on her bottom lip, back arching as he adjusts his hips, reaching her even deeper, hitting another sensitive spot that has her eyes watering. “Roman.”

“That’s it. Say my name, baby.” And she does, again and again, his name a song on her lips that’s sweet music he wants to keep on repeat for the rest of his life. “You don’t know what you do to me, Solana.”

Whatever it is can’t be as good as he’s making her feel. Solana could scream from the absolute rapture he’s bringing her body, elevating her to places unseen and almost too good to be real. 

“Te quiero mucho.”

He has no idea what she just said, but he has no doubt it’s an expression of bliss, and it only encourages him to dive deeper, to rut into her a little harder. Her pleasure is the roof, but that’s a limitation. He doesn’t do limitations.

He wants to never stop hearing his name leave her mouth, breathy and wanton. She’s a mess underneath him, wet ass pussy gushy, gripping the shit out of him like he’s never experienced. It actually takes a bit of effort on his his part to not come before she does, a arduous task considering she’s never looked more fucking beautiful being underneath him like this, every little facial expression making his dick pulse inside of her.

Roman has always heard people say sex is even better when it’s someone you actually care about. He never believed that shit. He never believed that shit until now. Because he’s never felt something, never felt someone, as good as what Solana feels right now.

If not for her trauma, wouldn’t nobody be getting any sleep tonight. He’d stay in this pussy, have it in his mouth, have it in any and all ways until the wee hours of the morning. Sleep be damned.

But, this isn’t about him. It’s about her. It’s all about her, and he’ll do whatever she wants, whatever she needs. Even if selfishly, he’s working to prolong her climax just as much for his pleasure as hers.

He doesn’t ever want to pull out.

And maybe it’s also the fact that he’s never been with anyone else raw. Never had that skin to skin experience, feeling slick pussy directly against his hardened dick.

Possibly.

Regardless, after tonight, if it’s not Solana, he doesn’t want it.

Her pussy is premier and just for him.

But, it’s when he takes a brief pause, to switch their positions, situating her on top of him, he sees the nervousness wreck her beautiful face.

“Roman. I—I don’t—I don’t know how–” And it’s as she protests, as she tries to explain to him she doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to please him like that, Roman brings his hands to her hips, tugging her forward just enough for her mouth to drop open from the friction, from the way he presses into her, hitting yet another spot that has her eyes nearly watering all over again. “Oh my….”

His eyes are blazed with desire and yearning as he encourages her. “That’s it…..” Her eyes shut, the sound of him asking, “are you okay?” an almost distant thing, an almost inconceivable question. Everything about everything he’s done to and for her has felt more than okay. It’s felt heavenly. 

The same way her hands naturally plant against his chest, less of him directing her movements and more of her riding him from her own volition.

The tips given to her by Bayley and Naomi just weeks prior return to the forefront of her mind, and Solana finds herself moving her hips, grinding on top of him as if she was spelling her name. 

And almost instantly, Roman’s eyes are shutting too as he sings all of her praises, “fuck, just like that baby.”

She moves against him, riding him with a growing intensity that’s only matched by the level of desire on both of their ends. It feels fucking ethereal.

And when he can sense the pending fatigue in her body, Roman sits up, hands moving down her smooth back to her hips and guides her body against him, hitting her spot even deeper, Solana’s cries of pleasure a continuing symphony of bliss.

“You feel me, baby? Feel me in you like this?” Her head drops against his shoulder as she holds onto him, their bare, slick chests pressed against each other.

She whimpers against him, “god, yes.”

“I told you I would make you feel good, didn’t I, sweetheart?” She nods frantically only to cry out yet again when he glides his hand down and peppers his thumb over her swollen clit. “Gonna take care of you every single time. I don’t care how or where. You want it, imma give it to you.”

His voice takes on a darker tone, reminiscent of his reputation, a testament of the depth of his feelings for her. “I’ll kill anyone who tries to take you from me.” She gasps against him, yet another wave of pleasure shooting through her core. “Burn this whole fuckin’ world down….”

There’s something about his words, about his dedication to her, to keeping her safe. To keeping her with him. She lifts her head and brings her hands to his cheeks, making him lock gazes with her. “No one could ever take me from you.”

Roman just looks at her. 

Something happens. A shift. A move. A disturbance of some sort. It’s as if something snaps in half the minute his eyes lock onto hers. He doesn’t move, and neither does she. No one says anything. It almost feels like no one is breathing. Her gaze on him is just as his is on hers. Deep. There’s something happening at the soul level. A tying of some sort. A connection. 

A bond. 

Unbreakable. Unshakable.

Eternal. 

And it’s with an almost unheard non-existent level of vulnerability that Roman practically whispers against the slick skin of her shoulder, pressing a soft kiss. “I need you, Solana.” 

Her eyes water. The connection. The emotion. The love of it all. She doesn't know if he’s feeling the last one, but she certainly is, and it’s the best feeling in the world. “You’ll always have me.” She moans, whimpering as he starts moving her again, nudges that spot yet again. “Te amo con toda mi alma, Roman."

This man now has her: mind, body, and soul.

Her better half.

Her missing piece 

It aids in the build up, her fingers squeezing against his muscular shoulders. “I’m—I’m gonna—“

“I know,” his voice is strained, his body tensing up underneath her. Solana knows he’s not far behind. He quickly switches their positions, wanting her underneath him, spreading her thighs further to maximize the full pleasure of this final ride. 

Hand to his chin, she forces his gaze on her, reminding him with a hint of vulnerability. “You and me.” Her release is almost immediate, a fountain of tightness and pressure that’s both wonderful and all encompassing, forcing her to lay her head against his shoulder, holding onto him as she rides out her climax.

And it’s not even minutes later that his release finds him just as strong, just as heavy, just as fucking shattering.

Roman lets go, big body jerking above her as he releases inside of her, the mixture of their togetherness creating an absolute mess that coats almost all of their lower halves. But, she doesn’t care, just continues to hold onto him as he empties until there’s nothing left. 

Solana groans quietly as he pulls out of her, the absence of him creating a strange, unfamiliar void that’s moderately eased as he plops down on his back next to her, immediately pulling her onto his chest.

This settles her almost instantaneously. 

He kisses the top of her head, gently rubbing her back. “Did I—did I hurt you?”

She smiles against him. The answer to that question has and will always be the same. “No. Never.” Tears burning her eyes, she murmurs into his skin. “You set me free.”

Because, he did. Because after tonight, there’s no turning back. There’s no block or wall of trauma that can stop her from experiencing this. From truly being able to say that while her assault fractured her, it damn sure didn’t break her. 

Roman’s deep voice above her offers a low, gentle rebuttal. “You did that, Sol.” And as if emotions weren’t high enough as it is, he has to send her nearly overboard with his next simple but powerful statement. “you said yes.”

Eyes closing, she has to sit on it, has to rest in it, has to feel it. With all the emotion, she reaffirms it, reclaims her voice, her autonomy, yet another piece of her life. “I said yes…..”

----------

translations:

“Te quiero mucho.” = "I love you so much."

"Lo’u Au" = Someone who is your absolute favorite

"Me haces muy feliz" = "You make me very happy."

"Te amo con toda mi alma, Roman" = "I love you with all my soul, Roman."

"Yo siento muy bien contigo" = "I feel happy with you."

[holdinonto-heartache]

Summary: y/n and Louis, who haven’t seen each other in a while, attend a concert for their good mutual friend and end up going home together.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, alcohol consumption, flirting, super cute fluff beginning/end, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (F), fingering, hair pulling, biting, filth

Y/fbf/n -> your friends boyfriends name

Y/f/n -> your friends name

Master

“Are you guys ready yet?” Y/fbf/n says leaning against the door frame.

You look over your shoulder, “You can’t rush perfection.”

He rolls his eyes, “You can if you don’t want to miss a free concert.”

You sigh and shake your head, laughing, “Hey, those are my tickets. I didn’t have to bring you.”

You got tickets from your close friend, Niall. He’s doing some shows and teasers for his new album that’s coming out. (I started writing this before his album dropped so just pretend it hasn’t yet lmao)

“Don’t listen to him, we have plenty of time.” Y/f/n smiles and continues to do her makeup.

——

You arrive at the venue and walk in. You’re greeted by someone at the door and Niall cuts them off, “They’re with me!”

Excitement fills your body as the security guard moves and you see Niall for the first time in two years.

“Ah! Oh my god!” You hug him and bounce up and down, “I’m so proud of you!”

He smiles and shakes his head, “Oh stop it.” He looks up at your friends, “Hello.”

“Niall, this is y/f/n and y/fbf/n, her boyfriend.”

Niall reaches out to shake each of their hands, “Ni, I’m Niall.”

He moves back to you, “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

You follow Niall around the arena, talking with him and catching up. It’s going great until you walk away to grab a drink.

You turn back around and see Niall standing close with your friends, “Secrets don’t make friends.”

Niall laughs, “Yeah, no you’re right Um.” He glances over at y/f/n then back to you, “We were just trying to get the last minute plans together for your birthday dinner tomorrow.”

You squint and tilt your head, “Believable.” You laugh and look at Niall, “If you’re talking about Louis, it’s fine.”

He shakes his head and checks his phone, “Actually, I haven’t heard from him a day, so. I don’t even know if he’s coming.” Niall looks up at you, “If I would have known, you know I would have told you.”

You nod, “Yeah no. I know.”

You and Louis dated for a little while then broke up because of him wanting to focus on his solo career and you headed off to start your own business that is now very successful.

You miss Louis, honestly.

A part of you now feels like you guys could make it work, but another part of you is nervous because it’s been so long and time goes on.

You wanted to know if he’s seeing anyone, but you didn’t want to be upset the whole show, so you decided to distract yourself until then.

“Hey, anyone hungry?”

——

You grab a drink at the bar and make your way to the vip section of the pit with your friends. You smile and look around at all the people who came to support Niall.

You knew him for years before the x factor. He’s the one who actually introduced you to Louis.

Only after years of flirting and not facing up to the fact that there was chemistry there, you finally decided to give it a go.

It was going great for the longest time. You and Louis were inseparable until you couldn’t seem to find a solution involving your career paths.

The breakup was civil and you remained friends, but it left you with that unfinished feeling.

You always said that Louis was the one, and you still stand by that.

The lights go down and the volume is the room immediately gets cranked up to ten.

You smile and bite your lip, waiting for Niall to come on.

The beat of Nice to Meet Ya starts playing and everyone goes nuts as Niall walks out.

He starts singing and you dance with y/f/n as you sing along with him.

“I wanna blow your mind.. just come with me.. I swear..” you smile, “I'm gonna take you somewhere warm, you know j'adore la mer..”

You sip your drink, still dancing in your spot. You hum along to the music and y/f/n lays a hand on your shoulder, “Oh, um. By the way..” she lets out a nervous laugh, “Niall lied.”

She steps away and you turn to her, “y/f/n!” You shake your head, “About what?”

“Fancy seein’ you here.”

Your heart drops into your stomach and you turn towards him, “Louis?”

He smiles and holds his arms out, “Come here.”

You immediately fall into his chest, definitely not like you thought. He wraps his arms around you, “I wish I would have known you were coming, I would seen you sooner.”

He leans back, “Wow you still look good.”

You smile and shake your head, “Wait, Niall didn’t tell you I was coming?”

Louis shakes his head, “Not at all. Didn’t even mention ya.”

“Hmm.” You look over at your friends and they give you a thumbs up. You laugh and look over at Louis, “So you been okay?”

He nods and talks to you as he glances back from you to Niall, “Yeah, great actually.. you’ll have to come to a show.” He smirks and looks at you.

You nod and smile, “Please. Yes.”

Louis stares at you for a few moments, the same thoughts about making it work with you run through his mind.

Throughout the show, you and Louis have gotten physically close.

It feels like you guys picked up right where you were supposed to.

You feel whole again, just like he does.

You knew you and Louis were going to be the talk of the fandom because you spotted some fans snapping some pictures and what not.

But you didn’t care.

You had Louis again and this time, you knew you’d do anything but let him go.

Niall starts to sing Story of My Life and Louis wraps his arm around your waist, holding you as he watches Niall perform the song that they used to sing together.

You watch Louis, smiling as you quietly sing along with the crowd.

He looks down at you and without hesitation, he plants his lips onto yours.

The fans that are closest to you absolutely go crazy and you can tell you’re being lit up by phone flashlights.

“You got any place to be after this?” Louis asks just loud enough. You smile and shake your head, “No where until tomorrow night.”

He nods, “Good, because I’ve been missin’ something special of yours.” He watches as you close your eyes and fight back a moan.

You nod and slowly look up at him, “yeah.. okay.”

He chuckles at you trying to keep yourself composed, “Fuck, I missed you.”

He pulls you back into his body and holds you close to him as Niall works towards finishing his show.

——

Niall stands on the stage, looking out at everyone.

He spots you and Louis holding onto each other in the crowd and points, causing the fans to scatter to look around.

He smiles and shakes his head as he walks over to grab his guitar. The fans go wild because they know what that means.

It’s gets quiet and Niall starts playing his guitar, “I'm like a crow on a wire.. You're the shining distraction that makes me fly.. Oh, home..”

You and Louis sway slowly to the sound of Niall’s singing.

“And yeah.” Niall sings and steps back to let the crowd sings.

“I let you use me from the day that we first met.. But I'm not done yet.. Falling for you, fool's gold”

You smile and look around in awe. Your gaze slowly meets Louis and you smile even bigger.

“But I don't regret.. Falling for you..” Louis sings to you as he brushes your cheek with his fingers.

You wanted to hate Niall for calling you out like this, but at the same time you wanted to hug him and thank him over and over again.

After the song ends and Niall leaves the stage, Louis grabs your hand and leads you out of the pit, your friends following behind you.

You make your way around, to backstage and Niall dances as he walks over to you. He points at your hands that are interlocked together and looks up at you and Louis with a huge smile, “I knew it would work.”

“You are such a liar! And you lied to me! That’s even worse, Niall.” You fake pout but can’t control your smile, “Thank you.”

“See, I knew you wouldn’t be mad.” Niall hugs you and Louis, “Now go. Catch up.” He gives you a wink, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You turn to your friends and y/f/n bats the air, “Go. We knew about for the longest time so we made plans.” She laughs, “You deserve this.”

“Okay, love you.” You blow her a kiss and wave to y/fbf/n. Louis keeps your hand in his as he leads you out to the car.

Of course there’s fans waiting to see if they see us leave together.

And they do.

You laugh as you get into the car, “These fans are sneaky little things aren’t they?”

Louis laughs and raises his eyebrows, “Oh, you have no idea, love. But they’re good though.”

You nod and look out of the window, luckily the windows are tinted dark enough to where they can’t see in.

Louis pulls you over to him and attaches his lips to yours. You lay your hand on his chest and he cups your cheek, “I’m so happy to see you.”

Louis kisses down your neck and you tilt your head, “I’m so happy to see you.” You run a hand through his hair.

You bite your lip as he sucks a purple mark into your neck, “I don’t know why I let you go.” He looks up at you.”

“I’m back.” You rest your forehead against his, “I’m not going anywhere without you.”

He smiles and brushes his fingers through your hair, “We’re about to have the best sex ever, you know that right?”

You smirk and nod, “I do know that.” You wrap your arm around his neck and kiss him.

You and Louis break apart when his driver clears his throat, “We’re at the hotel, Louis.”

“Ah, thank you.” He looks over at you, “Come on, love.”

You get out of the car and hold his hand all the way up to the hotel room. You guys felt like teenagers again, running through the hallways to be alone with each other.

He pushes the door open and pulls you in with him. He kicks the door shut and pulls you with him to the bed.

His hands never leave your body and his eyes never leave yours.

You sit down, pulling him down with you and he falls into you. His lips meet yours and they move in a quick rhythm against each other.

“Fuck.” He groans against your lips, “Didn’t know how bad I wanted you back until I saw you standing there across that arena.”

You lay your hand on his cheek and smile up at him, “Well, you got me.”

He bites his lip and nods, “Fuckin’ right I do.”

He flips you guys over and you straddle him as you giggle. You lift your shirt up over your head and toss it behind you. His eyes move over your body and he tilts his head, “No bra? That’s sexy.”

You laugh and lean down to kiss him. His hands drag down your back and squeeze your hips.

You grind down on him, moaning into his mouth as the bulge of his cock pushes against your thin panty covered pussy.

He tilts his head back and groans, “Shit, babe.” He grips your hips and pulls you towards the bed. You lay down and look up at him.

He undoes the button on your skirt and pulls it down your legs. Your legs instantly spread for him and he slides his hands up your legs, “Ah, ah. Gotta get these off of ya.”

He hooks his fingers into the band of your panties and you watch as he pulls them down.

Once they’re off, his hands lay on your knees and push your legs apart. He waist no time diving in, pushing his tongue past your folds and pushing it inside of you.

You moan and arch your back, hands immediately going to his hair. He moans against you, pulling you closer to him.

You tug on his hair, earning a groan from him.

“Y-yes, baby.” You whine out, “Fuck, fuck.”

He brings a hand up, slipping two fingers in to replace his tongue and he slowly builds up speed as he thrusts them in and out.

He watches you you move your hands to the sheets and pull at them, moaning as you feel I’m bringing you closer, “Fu-“

Louis leans down, circling his tongue with your clit. Your eyes roll back and close at the added pleasure, “F-fuck. Fuck.”

You look down at him and grab his shoulders, “Come here. I need you.”

He pulls his fingers out and sits up. He quickly takes his shirt off, throwing it, “Anything you want, my love.” He gives you a smirk and pushes his jeans down.

Your eyes flicker down to his cock and back up to his eyes with a smile forming on your lips.

He moves up to hover his body over yours and he rubs the tip of his cock against you before slipping in with a groan, “Fuckin’ hell.”

He places one hand on your thigh and squeezes. You moan as he pushes his cock fully in, resting there for a second as he looks down at you.

“So fucking good.” He moans lowly and dips his head down to kiss you as he starts to thrusts his hips. He quickly builds up to a fast, almost punishing pace.

Your back is arched and your chest is pressed against his. Your legs tighten around his waist and you wrap an arm around his neck, “Fuck, baby. Yes. Yesyesyes.”

He moans into your neck as you tighten your arm and legs around him, clenched his cock as you moan.

You become a whimpering mess under him.

“So pretty when you cum.” Louis whispers quietly as he rubs your thigh.

He grips it and flips both of you over, “Wanna watch you ride me.” He smirks as he raises his eyebrows, “Always one of my favorite things.”

You smirk and reach down to hold his cock steady as you sink back down onto him. Your eyes flutter closed and your lips part as you feel him fill you.

You start to slowly move your hips and open your eyes and look down at him, “Louis.” You moan out almost breathless.

“What baby?” Louis strokes your hips with his thumbs, “Tell me.”

You whimper and interlock your fingers with his as he grabs your hands, “I love you.”

He smiles and nods, “C’mere.”

You lean down and he presses his lips to yours as he squeezes your hands, “I love you.”

You smile and kiss him again, moaning into his mouth, “Close again.”

He lets go of your hands and sits you up, “Go on then.”

You smirk and bite your lip as he watches you. His eyes slowly move down and fixate on his cock being swallowed by your cunt, “Fuck, y/n.”

You moan and reach down to rub your clit. Louis moans and lays his head back, eyes still on you touching yourself.

“Fuck, fuck.” You tilt your head back and let out a long loud moan as you cum around his cock. He places his hands under your thighs to hold you up and steady as he thrust his hips up from below you.

You reach behind you and lay your hands on his shins, digging your nails in, moaning as he fucks you through your orgasm.

After a few moments, Louis’ thrusts become slow, quickly. You look at him, tilting your head as you let out a small moan as he cums inside of you.

He lays his head back, taking a deep breathe before looking at you, “Could do this all day.” He winks and watches as you lay next to him.

You lay your head on his arm, “We might just have to.”

“Ah, yeah, but your birthday is tomorrow, and we have dinner plans.”

Your mouth drops slightly, “What else don’t I know?” You laugh slightly, “we have until then.” You look up at him and give him a smile.

He sighs and thinks for a few moments, “Sold.” He leans down and kisses you before he leans back.

His eyes scan over, studying your face, “I’ve wanted you back since the minute you left.”

You nod, “I know how you feel. I bawled for weeks.”

“Aw, babe.” He pulls you in and hugs you, “I should have followed you.”

“I should have came back, or called you at least. I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me.” You sigh, “I’m sorry.”

“None of that, ya hear me. It’s no one fault.” Louis runs his hand over your hair, “I gotcha now.”

You smile and nod, “And I got you.” You look up and he looks down at you. He presses his lips to yours and smiles within the kiss.

“Oh!” You sit up and get up to go grab your phone out of your purse, “Wanna see something crazy?”

He nods and moves the blankets for when you come back over and you unlock your phone, tapping on the twitter icon.

First tweet that pops up is about you and Louis and you look over at him. He looks over the screen and shakes his head, “That’s always been crazy. How fast stuff goes around like that?”

You nod, “Agreed.”

You scroll through with Louis, looking at the pictures of you guys from Niall’s show.

“Oh that’s so cute. I’m stealing that.” You laugh as you screenshot and crop the photo.

“Send that to me.” Louis says smiling,

“Of course.”

He presses his lips to your temple and watches you as you go through the #Y/NandLouis hashtag.

@/LOUISFAN01: Y/N Y/L/N and Louis Tomlinson were seen arriving to the show separately. Met up during the show got a little cozy, then they were seen leaving together. What. Does. This. Mean?! #Y/NandLouis

——

@/LOUISFAN2: Is Louis and y/n happening again? #Y/NandLouis

@/LOUISFAN3: Pleaseeeeee I pray to god that Niall brought this power couple back together. #Y/NandLouis

——

Hi hello. I hope you liked this. Sorry for being a little MIA.

If you have any requests you can send them to me! Anon is on!

likes and reblogs are very appreciated! <3

[lemoncrushh]

Too Far From Texas | Chapter Four

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 4241

“So what did you two talk about?” Lorelei asked with a wink as she took a sip of her massive margarita.

I gave her a look as I dove into my nachos. I chewed my bite slowly and deliberately before placing the remaining chip back on the plate, wiping my mouth with the cloth napkin and reaching for my water glass, taking a long sip through the straw while I surveyed the area.

“Stacey!” Lorelei whined.

“Whaat?” I mimicked.

“Tell me. At least a little bit. Please?”

“We um...we talked about music. And the book. I told him about the book tour.” I picked up my nacho again, dabbing guacamole on top.

“And?”

“And...he made me laugh. He’s really funny.”

“Funny’s good,” Lorelei nodded. “Funny’s really good.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean anything,” I scowled. “Tod used to make me laugh.”

Lorelei glared at me incredulously. “Why the hell would you wanna bring up Tod? What on earth would he have to compare with Harry Styles?”

“Shh,” I sounded, pressing my finger to my lips.

Lowering her voice, she leaned over. “You’ve done this before, Stacey. You expect the worst. You need to allow yourself to be happy.”

I shrugged. “It’s just easier that way. I don’t build myself up to be let down.”

“He likes you.”

I blinked, looking down at my plate.

“He wouldn’t be calling you and sending you flowers and a catered lunch if he didn’t.”

I licked my lips and swallowed. “I like him too,” I muttered.

“Mmm hmm,” Lorelei sat back in her seat. I lifted my head to look at her.

“I like him a lot,” I confessed.

“I know you do,” she commented. “It’s written all over your face.”

I felt myself blush as I chuckled nervously, grabbing my napkin. “I feel so silly.”

“Why?”

“Because...he’s...him...and I’m...me. I’m not a kid.”

“So what?” Lorelei rolled her eyes.

“I’m nearly twice his age,” I added.

“So what?” she repeated. “He’s an adult. If he had a problem with it, he wouldn’t be contacting you.”

I nodded. I knew she was right. The truth was I had a hard time accepting the fact that someone like Harry would be interested in someone like me. Even after the lovely evening we’d shared, topped off with that amazing kiss, and the fun phone conversation last night, I still couldn’t believe this - whatever this was - could go anywhere. And that Harry was just being nice.

“Do you have a problem with it?” Lorelei inquired?

I pondered her question for a moment, my bottom lip jutting out. “No,” I finally shook my head. “I guess not.”

“Did he mention if he wants to see you again?”

I sighed. “Yes.”

“Okay. And do you wanna see him?”

I grabbed my water glass again, taking a long slow sip. I felt myself grin as I set it back down.

“Yes,” I nodded. “So much.”

Lorelei threw up her hands with a smirk. “Well, there ya go. Done deal. Now let’s celebrate.”

I laughed when she waved the waiter over and ordered another margarita for me.

I hadn’t expected to hear from Harry again so soon, and I knew he’d be traveling and most likely exhausted, so when I got home from dinner with Lorelei, I decided to just send him a quick text before heading to bed.

FYI - wine is much better than tequila. Hope St. Louis is treating you well.

I ended up sleeping til after ten Sunday morning, waking with a slight headache. I was also greeted with a few words from Harry.

Rough night?

Saw this and thought of you.

Below was a photo of the Buckingham Nicks album on vinyl, the album Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks recorded before joining Fleetwood Mac. It had yet to be released on CD and was considered a collector’s item. My own copy was given to me by my brother in my teenage years and was still one of my most prized possessions.

I smiled as I inspected the photo, clearly taken at some sort of used record store or thrift shop. I imagined Harry browsing the racks, coming up with rare gems to add to his own collection.

Quickly typing a response, I hit send.

I sincerely hope you bought that if you didn’t have it already.

Prepared to climb out of bed, I set my phone down only to hear it chime almost immediately.

I do have it. And I assumed you do too.

Of course. One of my favorites. It makes me happy that it made you think of me.

I think of you often, actually.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat. My hands shook as I typed out my response.

Same here.

Good to know.

I blushed and allowed myself to giggle before picking up my pillow to muffle the sound. I most definitely felt young, but I refused to think it was silly. He thought of me often. He liked me. I was going with it.

How are you Stacey?

I’m great now. How are you?

I’m fine. In the car, headed to the hotel. What was with that text last night?

Embarrassed, I replied hastily.

Too many margaritas. I was loopy, forgive me.

Ha. Hungover?

Just a smidgen ;)

:) You’re cute. Can I call you later?

Yes

I’m busy the rest of the day so it might be late.

That’s fine

Bye love x

Bye xx

I must have scrolled through our conversation ten times that day. No real reason, other than to just look at it. It put a smile on my face. Even Emery noticed after dinner when we were sitting on the couch watching TV.

“Mommy, what are you smiling at?” she asked, leaning over my shoulder to look at my phone.

“Nothing,” I said, pressing the phone to my chest.

“Let me see,” she insisted, trying to reach for it.

“It’s none of your business, silly girl.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the television which was airing It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

“Mommy,” she said again. “Will you take me to get a costume this week?”

“Didn’t I just buy you a new one last year?”

“It doesn’t fit me anymore.”

I gave her a look. Well, she had had a growth spurt or two in the last year.

“Alright,” I said. “What do you wanna be?”

“Lapis Lazuli,” she beamed.

“Do what?” I raised my brows in question.

“From Steven Universe. Or maybe Rose Quartz.”

“O-kay,” I replied slowly.

“Or maybe a Pokemon character,” Emery added.

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to find something at the store, Em,” I shook my head. “You know I’m leaving on Tuesday for San Antonio with Lorelei. I won’t be back till Thursday night. We can look tomorrow, but I can’t promise anything.”

“Maybe Daddy can take me to get something.”

I pursed my lips. “Maybe.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her no. But I knew Tod’s schedule and he wasn’t about to cancel his lessons to take our child shopping. I’d just have to take her when I got back.

After I put the kids to bed and cleaned up in the kitchen, I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. I was just about to crawl into bed when my phone rang. I jumped, thinking it might be Harry, but was disappointed when I saw it was my mother.

“Hello,” I answered, trying my best to sound cheery.

“I forgot to tell you The Great Pumpkin was coming on tonight,” she said.

“I know,” I chuckled. “We watched it.”

“Okay good. I know the girls always enjoy that. You do too.”

“Of course, it’s my childhood.”

“How is Jasmine doing?” my mom asked.

I was surprised. Not that she didn’t care about my children’s well-being, but usually the conversation was veered toward her.

“She’s fine. I think Tod is taking her to the doctor this week to see if she needs to her increase her dosage on her meds.”

“Why is Tod taking her?”

“Because I’ll be out of town, remember?”

“You didn’t tell me that.”

“Yes I did, mom,” I groaned. “I’m going to San Antonio for another book signing.”

“Oh. Well you said you were thinking about it, but you didn’t say you were for sure going.”

“Okay, then I’m for sure going. On Tuesday. I’ll be back Thursday.”

“Are you driving?” my mother asked.

“Yes. But Lorelei will be with me.” I felt like a teenager getting permission to take her parents’ car for a quick weekend trip with her friends.

“Okay. Be careful.”

“I will.”

When I finally got off the phone with her, I was emotionally drained. As usual. With a sigh, I placed my phone on my nightstand and crawled under the covers. Then I turned out the light and laid staring up at the darkness.

Please call.

I didn’t know why I was so anxious. If he didn’t call that night, it was no big deal. He was busy. Plus he’d said it would be late. I looked at the clock. It was barely ten.

I rolled over onto my side, tucking my hand underneath my pillow, lying in a fetal position. I listened to the sounds of my own breathing as the minutes ticked by until I must have finally drifted off to sleep.

The house was quiet as I walked up the stairs toward my bedroom. I knew Tod would be in the studio. I hadn’t bothered to stop in there because I knew what his attitude would be. It was the same every time I went shopping. I laid the bags on the bed before turning for the bathroom.

“What did you buy?” I suddenly heard behind me.

I jumped. “Oh! You scared me!”

“I told you we didn’t have any money, Stacey,” he scolded, ignoring my fear.

“I didn’t buy much,” I shook my head. “Just some clothes for the girls. Emery needed new jeans and there was a good sale at-”

“Stacey, goddammit!” Tod’s face flushed to a fire engine red as his voice boomed through the house. “You don’t listen!”

“I do listen,” I argued. “I know you said money is tight. But the girls needed clothes and I swear I didn’t spend that much this time-”

“I’m trying so hard, Stacey,” Tod interrupted again, this time with a whine in his tone. “And you just throw our money away.”

“No, I don’t!” I yelled at him. “I buy things we need. And it’s usually for the girls. I haven’t bought myself anything in months.”

“Whatever, Stacey,” Tod shook his head, turning for the stairs. “This is never gonna change.”

I stood wringing my hands, the tears about to escape from my eyes. “Fine. I’ll take everything back. Emery will just have to wear her same jeans that are too tight for the rest of the year.”

“Don’t DO THIS TO ME, STACEY!” Tod whirled around, his voice getting louder with each word until he was gritting his teeth. “DON’T MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY!”

“Well, what do you expect me to do, Tod?” I cried. “This is one of the few things I enjoy!”

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

“No,” I dropped my shoulders. “Nothing ever is.”

Tod continued to glare at me, the veins in his neck nearly popping. Just then, I heard another voice, though it was so quiet, I almost thought it was in my head.

“Honey?”

Tod and I both looked down the staircase to see a petite brunette woman. I couldn’t quite make out her features but I knew who she was. I stood frozen as I watched Tod descend the stairs toward her, then kiss her right in front of me. Then he took her hand and walked around the corner to the kitchen.

“Tod!” I screamed, finally finding my voice and chasing after them. “Tod! Where are you going?”

Tod looked over his shoulder at me, a smirk on his face. His said nothing as he wrapped his arms around his ex-wife, gave her one more kiss, and walked out the back door.

My ringtone sounded ten times louder in the middle of the night. Or whatever time it was. I just about jolted out of bed as I reached for my phone, Harry’s name displayed on the bright screen. My back and chest were both drenched in sweat, and I tried my best to even out my breaths as I rubbed my eyes.

“Hello?”

“Oh, bloody hell, I woke you. ‘m so sorry.”

“No, no it’s okay,” I said groggily.

“Are you sure? You should sleep.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” I argued, sounding almost desperate, I knew. “Please don’t hang up.”

“Alright, I won’t. Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I sighed, lying back on the pillow. “Just...was having...a bad dream.”

“Oh love, I’m so sorry. Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” I swallowed, barely able to get the words out. “God, no. Don’t wanna relive that, please.”

“Jesus, Stacey, you sure you’re alright?”

“I am now,” I breathed. “Just glad to hear your voice.”

“Okay,” Harry said softly. “‘s good to hear yours too. How was your day?”

“Boring. How was yours?”

“Same.”

I chuckled. “That can’t possibly be.”

“Not everything I do is exciting, Stacey,” Harry claimed.

“I beg to differ,” I retorted.

“How are the girls?” he asked, changing the subject.

“They’re fine. I-” and just then, as though she knew I was talking about her, I heard a sound coming from the hall.

“Shit,” I muttered. “Harry, can I call you back?”

“Something wrong?”

“Yeah. Jasmine,” I replied hastily, rising from the bed. “I’ll call you back.”

I didn’t wait for his response as I dropped the phone on the mattress and threw open the bedroom door. I didn’t have to to make it to Jasmine’s room. She was sitting in her doorway on the floor, her gaze straight ahead as her body shook with jerky spasms.

“Jaz, honey,” I whispered, crouching down next to her. “It’s okay.”

I took her hand, and I felt her squeeze it. “Bad spasms!” she cried.

“I know,” I said softly. “Take a deep breath.”

Jasmine did as she was told, breathing in and out slowly. The spasms started to come less frequently, and within a few minutes, I felt like she would be okay. However, it was hard to lift her up myself, as she was at least as big as I was, so I waited a little longer until she was able to stand on her own.

“Do you have to go to the bathroom?” I asked her.

“No.”

“You sure?”

“I did!” she emphasized.

“Okay.” I knew her reply meant that she must have made it to the bathroom, but not back to the bed. Once I had her tucked in again, she turned away from me, pressing the corner of her duvet to her mouth. I gave her a quick kiss next to her ear before leaving the room and returning to mine.

I sat on the corner of the bed with my phone in my hand for at least five minutes, darkness surrounding me like a literal metaphor for my life. Finally pressing the home button and bringing up his name, I felt myself begin to relax.

“Hi,” I muttered when he answered.

“Is Jasmine okay?” Harry asked, concern dripping from his words.

I wasn’t able to respond. The tears sprang from my eyes in buckets and my heart twisted in my chest. My shoulders trembled as I sobbed.

“Stacey? Baby, talk to me. Did she have another seizure?”

“No,” I cried. “No, she’s...she’s okay.”

“What happened?”

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. “She was sitting on the floor in her doorway. She must have gone to the bathroom and collapsed on the way back. She was having big spasms, but...I was able to calm her down and put her back to bed.”

I heard Harry sigh loudly. “I’m so sorry.”

I swallowed hard. “It’s okay. I would say I’m used to it, but...I’m not.”

“Nobody could get used to it, love,” Harry remarked softly. “But you’re doing great. You’re a great mother, Stacey.”

“You’ve said that before,” I muttered.

“I meant it.”

I blinked away the rest of my tears and laid back on my pillow. “Thank you, Harry.”

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “No. I’m far from it.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Harry argued. “Look at everything you’ve done. You’ve written a wonderful book, you’re making a good life for your kids who love you and look up to you. You’re so strong. You have people who care about you. And even though we haven’t known each other long, darling, that includes me.”

I bit my lip. “You do?”

Harry let out a deep sigh again and I imagined him running a hand through his mop of curls. “I wish I could be there...to show you.”

My breath hitched in my throat at his words. He paused and I thought perhaps he was going to continue, but he didn’t. Instead, he returned the focus to my daughter.

“Has Jasmine had a seizure recently?”

“Um…” I cleared my throat. “Her dad told me that she had a spasm this weekend, but not a full seizure. I suppose it was like tonight. So that’s good, I guess. But he’s taking her to the doctor this week while I’m gone to San Antonio.”

“Does she go regularly?” Harry inquired.

“Every couple of weeks or so for now. But she might need to increase her dosage on her medication.”

“Oh I see. When are you leaving for San Antonio?”

“Tuesday morning. After the girls leave for school, I’m picking up Lorelei.”

“Are you excited? I’m excited for you.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and it made me giggle.

“Thank you. I am excited. But mostly because I get to take a road trip. I haven’t been anywhere in years.”

“Are you going anywhere after that?”

“We’re supposed to go to Dallas the weekend after, but I’ll know for sure by Friday,” I said. “I’m hoping I won’t be gone for Halloween. Emery loves Halloween, and I wanna be here for that. It’s...kind of our thing.”

“Does she have a costume?” Harry asked.

“Not yet,” I sighed. “I’m going to take her tomorrow, but I don’t think I’ll be able to find what she wants. She wants to be some Steven Universe character. And I doubt her father is going to take her shopping.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” I hesitated. “Actually, I take that back. I could see it going both ways. Tod is one of those people who waits until the last minute. Every Christmas he’d wait till the day before to go shopping. And I was usually the only person he had to buy for. I never really got what I wanted. A couple times I just got a book. With that being said...sometimes he tries to outdo me. So, I could expect him not to buy something for the girls, but if he knew I was doing something, he’d have to one-up me.”

“So you think he might buy one just to spite you?”

“It’s possible. Now, I’m not saying he’s a bad father. He’s actually a good dad and my girls love him. But...well, it’s like with Emery’s bike. It wasn’t until after we’d divorced that he decided to take her out and teach her how to ride. Like he was trying to prove something.”

Harry was silent for a moment, though I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me to continue or just had no comment.

“I’m sorry,” I groaned. “I didn’t mean to turn our conversation into a rant about my ex.”

“No worries. I told you that I wanna know all about you. If you’ll tell me.”

“Hmm,” I sounded.

“I’m a good listener, Stacey,” Harry added.

“I can tell,” I said with smile. “And I really appreciate it. I just…”

“You just what?” he asked, dropping the sound of the T.

“I just don’t wanna scare you off.”

“How do you reckon that would happen?”

I licked my lips, gathering my words in my head. “Don’t guys hate it when girls talk about themselves all the time?”

I heard Harry chuckle, that sexy sound he’d made several times during our last conversation. “Stacey…”

“Harry...” I mocked.

“First of all, baby, I don’t consider you a girl.”

I laughed out loud, though I tried to side-step the fact that he’d just called me baby for the second time. “Then what am I?”

“I meant I don’t think of you like that. You’re a woman. A beautiful, incredible woman that I’m trying to get to know more about. I chose to put the focus on you because I wanna know all I can. I’m...interested. In you.”

I let out a breath, and I thought I might’ve mumbled “oh my God”, though I wasn’t sure. It might’ve just been in my head.

“Does that shock you?”

“A little? I mean…” I bit my lip. “Not shock really. Just...nobody’s-”

“I still wanna take you out,” Harry interrupted.

“What?”

“I plan on seeing you again, and this time I’m gonna take you out.”

“Oh...okay,” I muttered, goosebumps rising on my skin.

“And I’m gonna kiss you again,” he added. “‘Cause Lord help me, Stacey, I can’t stop thinking about your mouth.”

That time I knew I mumbled “oh my God”, and Harry chuckled again. I remained silent for a minute or two while I tried to even out my breaths, my brain telling me crazy things and painting insane pictures.

“Stacey?” Harry finally asked.

“Yes?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Um…” I swallowed. “I’m thinking...that I shouldn’t be thinking what I’m thinking.”

“Hmm,” Harry sounded.

“Why?” I barely whispered, my throat suddenly feeling like it was filled with cotton balls. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking…” he paused slightly, “that this big hotel bed feels lonely.”

“Harry…”

“I wish I was holding you right now.”

The ability to find any kind of speech was completely gone. I could hear Harry breathing through the phone, but otherwise he remained silent as well. I swallowed hard as I pulled the covers over me, the darkness once again reminding me of how alone I was. Alone and lonely.

“You’re quiet,” Harry finally commented.

“Sorry.”

“Too much?”

I sighed. “No.”

“Am I frightening you?” he continued.

“No, it’s...it actually makes me feel good to hear you say that.”

“I just...I reckon with a woman like you, you gotta say what you’re thinking. Be direct. I want you to know, I’ll always be honest with you. I’m not playing games, Stacey.”

I let out a tiny chuckle as I felt my muscles relax. “Good.”

“I really like you.”

“I really like you too, Harry.”

“It’s late, love, I’ll let you sleep.”

“Okay. Are you still in St. Louis tomorrow?” I inquired.

“I fly to Chicago in the afternoon,” he replied. “Not sure if I’ll be able to call you, but I’ll try.”

“You don’t have to call me every day, you know,” I remarked.

Harry laughed and I felt my stomach flip. “Jesus, Stacey.”

“What?”

“Will you just let me woo you?”

“Woo me?” I giggled. “Is that what you’re doing?”

“I’m trying.”

“God, you’re adorable,” I groaned.

“Yes! I’m getting somewhere.”

We laughed together until Harry startled me by shouting, “Hey! I just remembered something. You were gonna sing some Stevie Nicks for me.”

“Oh shit,” I muttered.

“It’s okay,” Harry chuckled. “I won’t make you do it now.”

“Thank God,” I quipped.

“But you know you’ll have to next time. So, start practicing, Barnett.”

“Ugh, don’t use last names, Styles.”

“Oh, but I like the way you say mine,” he teased. “So cute with that accent.”

“Shut up.”

“Stiiiiiles.”

“Stop,” I demanded, though I was holding my stomach while laughing.

“Staaaaaop,” he mimicked.

Trying my best not to be too loud, I turned my head toward the pillow and covered my mouth.

“I’m warning you, Harry,” I whispered into the phone.

“Ooh, that sounded sexy,” he said, his voice lowered as well. “Warn me again, please.”

I shook my head and took a couple breaths, getting my bearings. When I didn’t continue with the teasing, I heard Harry sigh.

“Alright then, love-”

“Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom. Well who am I to keep you down.”

I started singing the well-known Fleetwood Mac tune, silence on the other end of the line.

“It’s only right that you should play it the way you feel it. But listen carefully to the sound…”

I didn’t sing as loudly as I normally would have, and I only continued through the first chorus before I stopped. But Harry’s reaction was lovely nonetheless.

“Baby…” he cooed when my singing ended. “God, you’re amazing.”

I grinned. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. For singing to me.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll sing more for you later. And maybe you’ll sing some for me?”

“You bet.”

“Goodnight, Harry,” I said softly.

“Goodnight baby.”

Although I was completely giddy after hanging up the phone, it didn’t take me long to fall back to sleep. And this time I didn’t have any nightmares. Only good dreams.

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[noyshhh47]

confession and conception

LOUIS

I was pacing in the room. my breath heavy and my muscles tight. the thought that I like someone who is also my best friend is bothering me. what if he doesn't like me that way, what if i ruin our friendship. As i was pacing i hear the door open. i glance

"hey," comes from a familiar voice that has me pulling my walls of conscious up

"hi" i say not making eye contact

"what are you doing" harry says

"contemplating" he walks toward me and stops in front of me.

he pulls my chin up so I face his perfectly structured face with captivating features, his sea green eyes that are luring me in like a siren to a sailor. "about what" he says, his voice still and cold as if he has been waiting for me to make it warm and comforting. "stuff.." I say, hesitating and breaking our eye contact and ignoring the fact of how much it hurt to do so. "hey.." his voice calls for me "you can talk to me you know that right" he cups my face as i see myself in his eyes.

now i am no expert but this is not "platonic" i say to myself.

he moves the strand of hair falling on my face "what are you doing" i say trying to address the elephant in the room. he looks at me as if he has been in pain since forever "what i should have done a long time ago" before i could say anything he pressed his lips against mine heat flushing my face as i explore his mouth his tongue pressed against mine tastes like cinnamon and honey. We kiss as if our souls have been aching for this since the beginning of time. he pulls me in closer by putting his arms around my waist and deepening the kiss. "mmm.." i groan as he tugs on my lower lip leaving it swelled and begging for more. i put my hand in his long hair that i have been wanting to feel, to know, to hold it near me.

"i have been dying to do this" he says against my lips as he makes his way to my adams apple. "me too" is say as he bites my adams apple and a small groan leaves my mouth.

he makes his way to my neck kissing it and leaving marks that i might regret later but all i want now is to fell his body against mine to feel his warmth and the comfort that he brings to me.

"you are mine" he whispers near my ear as he kisses my jawline and my mind is suffering from a flush of oxytocin and other chemical reactions. he cups my arse as he unbuttons my shirt placing his hands on my chest and finding its way to my nipples. he kisses me and i am lost in a dimension of pleasure and lust as he tugs and pinches my nipples leaving me moaning. he lays me on his bed and takes off his t shirt revealing his butterfly tattoo that i have been dying to trace with my hands. he lays on me shifting angles and i press our bodies together getting lost in his heat. he pinches my nipples as he kisses roughly leaving red marks. he unzips my pants to reveal my hard cock that has been dripping and aching for attention through my underwear.

"i see i'm not the only one" he taunts has he frees my cock and strokes me. he wraps his mouth around my cock and i feel his tongue playing with my crown as he takes me in deeper. "fuck..mmm" i moan as he tugs on my balls that have sagged due to the heat in the moment. he pulls out with a pop sound and i see his face flushed red and my cock drenched in his saliva. he takes me back in deep in his this throat i can feel his uvula on the tip of my cock as his eyes water.

he lifts and kisses me as i taste myself, salty with a bit of sweetness, i dont know if its from me or him. "your turn" he whispers as i pin him on the bed. tracing his butterfly tattoo with my tongue and pinching his nipples that make him arch "fuck baby your gonna kill me" he says moaning as i unzip him revealing his huge cock, at least 9 inches and and drenched in precum as i lick his shaft and play with his tip he arches his back again releasing a moan "aaah..." i take him in. his hard cock ready to shoot but i edge him just enough for him to feel the pressure and pleasure but not cum. i release his cock with a pop, my eyes red as water trickles down my cheek. i throw my leg over him in a 69 position as i take him in again and my arse facing him as he thrusts his fingers in and out of me with a rhythm. a moan leaves me as i take him deep my jaw hurts. he pulls out me i feel my hole widening and gaping for more as he thrusts me again rough this time. he pulls me back to him as we kiss like the worlds ending.

"on your knees, baby " his tome humble but deep i get on my knees as he circles my hole with his drenched cock before shoving it inside slowly i moan my face red and my ears hot my cock aching. he thrusts in and out a he spreads his hot hands on my waist to my nipples and pinching them. i feel him in deep inside of me hitting that pleasureable spot and other spots that i dint even know existed.

"ahh.." i moan as he cups my mouth "you dont want anyone to hear us do you..." he says as my eyes widen, my mind filled with lust. he pulls me in putting his hand around my neck as he bites on my hot earlobe cooling it.

he lays me on my back pulling my legs onto his shoulders and stroking my needy cock. putting his cock back inside my gaping needy hole. i want him, i want him etched in my skin crawling in my veins and reminding me that nothing else matters but us. he bend to give me a kiss as i wrap my arms around his neck, electricity running down my spine. we are a mess of bodies, heat and oxytocin. he strokes my cock and i cum as he hits my prostate leaving me senseless. hot cum splashes onto his hands and my abs as i am left breathless and needy for air. he licks his fingers devouring me as he cums too.

HARRY

i lay on his chest as i come down from my orgasm high

i love him. love is an understatement he is the blood in my viens and the oxygen in my lungs he is the reason of my existence and the fuel to my soul without him there is no me. "i love you so much" as i say buring myself in his neck to get lost in his smell of vanilla and ice. he is silent for a while but then he says "i too love you harry, i always have" i look at his electric blue eyes and smile. "earlier, what was bothering you?" i ask he lets out a smile and says "i was thinking of telling you that i loved you but i was afraid how you would react" i smile as i press my lips against his "well now we know how id react."

there is a knock on the door. we jump ot and get dressed as i open the door...

[larry-hiatus]

30 Fics From 2023 - Fic #15

Pegged in Pain

Posted June 25

4,828 words || 4,110 hits

Summary

Harry loves the creativity of his fans when it comes to the signs they bring to his shows, and he tries to react to as many of the ones he likes as he can. When Louis finds about one cheeky sign, though, Harry’s reaction comes back to bite him in the ass.

About the fic

I don’t know why I don’t have much memory about writing this fic 😂 I do remember wanting to use this incident in a fic when someone suggested it, but I had no idea how to properly fit “pegging” into a fic like this without getting someone else involved. But the answer was right there on the fan sign hahaha. Fun fact: It was tough to find a clothes pegs picture with the colors I wanted for the moodboard. I ended up editing the pic to adjust the background color!

My favorite comment

Fic post

[Check out the other fics here!]

[emileesaurus]

So here's a list of some of the major contradictions or weird gaps I noticed in the first two episodes. I'm not being nitpicky or a book purist here -- I'm trying to take this show on its own merits and go along with its own narrative logic and characterization, so let's go.

First of all, Lestat says "I bring death to those deserving" in the church and never elaborates. So far we haven't seen him kill anyone even a little bit evil, though. He killed a random lamplighter, he killed Lily, he almost certainly mind-controlled Paul to his death (it's obviously the subtext! this is my OJ), he killed the two priests who by the way were also Louis's family friends, the first man that they kill seems like a really nice guy, and the tenor's only crime was being slightly off key.

So what does "deserving" mean? Because without anything else to contextualize it, the only thing those people could have done to deserve it was to get between Lestat and Louis.

Notably, Lestat doesn’t lay a finger on the racist businessmen who insult and degrade Louis for six years, and when Louis actually does finally stand up for himself (which Lestat told him he should do! that was his whole vampire pitch! oh my god!) Lestat yells at him and tells him he overreacted. When they "make up," Lestat says that he would have killed the man himself if he had actually brought offense. Only this never actually happens. He never defends Louis himself to anyone at any time. So the one time someone bad is killed on screen, it's by Louis, and he gets in trouble for it.

-

Lestat talks to Louis with the Mind Gift when they're seducing the man in the bar, and then a few scenes later he explains that makers and fledglings can't hear each other's thoughts. SO WHICH IS IT? I could explain this away by saying that the transformation wasn't fully complete, but that's not the kind of thing I should have to fix myself as a viewer.

-

Modern day Louis takes the little drink from his pet Russian man, who just looks bored and not into it? He’s having a whole conversation in his non-native language while Louis sucks his blood from his neck. So is the vampire bite irresistible or not? It throws the whole premise of how they take their victims right into the trash. And for what? A cheap joke at an awkward situation?

-

After Louis's first kill, he says he didn't take to killing easily. But we never actually see him struggling with it at all. In fact, the only other kill we do see is the racist businessman, and it goes just fine and he feels perfectly justified about it. So what does this alleged struggle look like? How does he feel about having to kill every night? We don't know! It's not like this is the central struggle of the character he's based on and the main thing about being a vampire, let's not waste time on boring things like that.

-

After Louis doesn't eat his sister's baby, he cries about how he'll never be able to control himself. Except he totally just did control himself, and also we never previously saw him even attempting to control himself, much less failing at it, so it just feels completely out of left field.

-

Lestat and Louis fight about the alderman because Lestat thinks it was an overreaction, and too close to home for safety. But when Louis goes to Lestat in distress because he almost impulsively ate his sister's baby right in her living room, Lestat tells him he's being silly and his only actual advice is to cut ties with his family. Then he takes him on the most fucked up degrading powerplay date of all time.

So... he berates Louis for taking victims close to home, and then when Louis is worried because he almost ate his own nephew, Lestat ignores it as if it couldn’t possibly be a real problem to worry about. Is Lestat supposed to look like a completely unhelpful asshole in this version? Does he think Louis has more control than Louis believes he does? If so, why does he think that? Whose version of events is accurate? Is it ambiguous on purpose? Is it just bad writing?

We can’t know, because we don’t get to see what Louis’s experience with killing was really like for these six years to form our own conclusions.

-

AND THEN THE MUSICIAN THING. FUCK.

Lestat: “buy the entire saloon band a round of drinks :)”

Lestat: “oh, you have a banjo band in your front yard :)”

Louis voiceover: “Lestat revered music and anyone who had a hand in its creation.”

[less than one minute later]

Lestat : [has a hissy fit and psychologically demolishes and tortures a man for hours for being mildly off key]

WHAT????? You can't tell me the saloon band and the banjos were more talented than an opera singer who no one else even noticed was bad. This is just a weird thing for Louis’s voiceover to tell us literally right before Lestat ruins their date by having an hours-long murder tantrum over one performer being slightly flat. And Louis said that line in literally the exact same scene! If the contradiction is intentional, I don’t know what purpose it serves. It seems more likely to be shoddy script work.

(This is also awful Lestat characterization, but I promised I would take this show as if it were the only canon. I just. I can’t keep it in about this.)

-

And why does Lestat have that meltdown when he's killing the tenor? It feels like it’s referencing a vaguely similar scene from the book and movie, but the context for it is entirely different, and it’s not fair to use that as a crutch. All that’s happened is Louis told Lestat he was worried because he almost ate his nephew, and then very mildly complained about Lestat torturing a man for a half an hour, on the date that was supposed to be cheering Louis up after the almost-baby eating.

WHY IS HE SO ANGRY? It's abrupt and out of nowhere and it comes off as completely unhinged, and then Louis just gives in and drinks from the man (which is very much coded as vampire sex) for hours, while his voiceover admits that he was only pretending to enjoy it so that Lestat wouldn't be disappointed. It’s incredibly dark, and it doesn’t make Lestat look complicated or deep or like he’s hiding painful secrets, he just seems depraved and manipulative.

-

WHY DID HE GET NAKED BEFORE HE GOT IN THE COFFIN? WHY DID HE MAKE LOUIS GET IN THE COFFIN AT ALL??? There’s no in-universe reason for them to need to be in there -- the room is sunproofed and they can be awake during the day -- so it’s just sexual assault in this version. Rad.

-

Most of all, is Louis an unreliable narrator, or is this an honest recounting of events? Because the premise of the show as they advertised it is that this is the “true story,” and Louis is ready to honestly account for things that he couldn’t in the past. So these massive discrepancies between what we’re seeing and what Louis is saying don’t feel intentionally ambiguous, they feel narratively murky.

It doesn’t help that the 1974 book simply can’t be the original interview they’re referring to -- there’s just nothing at all that’s the same between them. In fact, they say they didn’t even get to finish their original interview. Maybe the 70s flashback (I hear it’s in episode six?) will clear up what the original one was like in this universe, but in the meantime, if the show doesn’t tell us what Louis originally omitted or was ambiguous about, the fact that this is a second “more honest” interview means almost nothing at all. Will this framing device pay off eventually?

This show is frustrating to watch. It handholds the audience through the most obvious information like it doesn’t trust that we aren’t stupid, but then doesn’t bother to show critical emotional and narrative beats.

[troubatrain]

tis the damn season - m. tkachuk

a/n: as we all know, i am an absolute whore for a christmas fic and when i listened to evermore yesterday i knew this needed to be done. i literally haven’t written anything this fast in forever but i hope you guys like it!! (also tagging @igor-shestyorkin​ @blueskrugs​ & @fenwaynightlights​ for reading this last night and telling me it was good so i’d actually finish it ily)

The second you walked into the party, Matthew’s eyes didn’t leave you. He knew you were coming, but watching you step into his parent’s house with a plate of your famous chocolate chip cookies and a smile that made his heart skip a beat, was almost taunting him. You dated forever ago, the last real relationship Matthew had ever been in, and by the looks of it - it was staying like that. You greeted everyone, down to the biggest hug to his grandparents who swore you were going to be Matthew’s wife one day. That was because that’s just how you were, kind and smart and constantly impressing anyone who Matthew introduced you too. Every teammate he had at the time loved you, and he knew if you were in Calgary his team now would be the same. Brady adored you, even admitting to his brother he still called you for girl advice because if Matthew fumbled the bag when it came to you there was no way Brady should take his advice. Matthew couldn’t even think about your relationship with his sister, or how crushed she was when you broke up. Then there was his parents, his mom swore it would be okay. That it was just Matthew’s first love and eventually he’d find his forever but he knew she was lying. Matthew found forever with you, and he let it implode because his dream was just more important at the time. Now, he could be at the top of the world and none of it mattered because you weren’t by his side.

Matthew just felt dumb now, because you were on to bigger and better things and you weren’t hung up on your high school ex-boyfriend. You went off to college, crushed it, and moved back into St. Louis with a near perfect job offer and success practically radiating off of you. He was standing in his kitchen in the worst Bud Light Christmas sweater like an eighteen year old frat boy and you looked every bit like the goddess Matthew knew you were. The perfect Christmas red dress you were wearing sat on your frame flawless, and it was obvious that red was still your color.

“I can leave if you want me to?” You ask, leaning into Matthew when you finally made your way over to him. Your voice was low, mouth close to Matthew’s ear while you hugged him so no one could hear you ask. You were an infinitely better person than he was, so of course you asked him if it was okay to stay.

“You’re always welcome here, you know that,” Matthew answers, sipping his beer for some liquid courage he desperately needed.

“Just because your mom invites me doesn’t mean I need to be here,” You shrug, “Maybe you’ve got someone here…”

He would never. Matthew had never even considered it, what it would be like to bring someone home that wasn’t you. There wasn’t one person in Calgary who could measure up, and despite the fact that his family loved him and would accept anyone with open arms, deep down Matthew knew you would always be on their minds.

“I don’t,” Matthew says, trying to stop himself from wrapping his arm around your waist while you stand with your chest still pressed against his from your hello hug, “I mean what would be the point? They don’t make cookies like you do.”

Matthew had to joke, cover up the fact that he was never able to let go of what you had and choke it down with beer he was drinking. He liked seeing you, the same times he did every year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the occasional summer BBQ was something he looked forward to, sometimes he even hoped for an extra reason for you to both be somewhere. He knew you’d come, because you wouldn’t dare deny his mother’s invitation.

“Of course you noticed I made them,” You rolled your eyes, pushing Matthew back jokingly, “Remember when you used to beg me to make them-”

You stopped yourself when you noticed where this was going, you never brought up the before times. The times when Matthew would give you his best puppy dog eyes for you to bake him something, followed by a plea to just look the other way when he devoured the entire plate.

“Maybe it’s best we broke up, I probably never would’ve gotten drafted by eating these,” Matthew teases, sliding past you to grab a cookie off the counter and taking a big bite, “Because fuck these are good.”

Matthew’s moans in delight sent a chill up your spine. You hated that he could still do that to you, because it was the same thing every time. You’d see him, and for a moment you’d think that this would work itself out. You could get back together, and falling in love would be just as sweet a second time, but it wouldn’t work. You were settling into your own, a fresh lease signed in your new apartment you were going to move into after New Year’s, and Matthew was going to go back to Calgary where he was a big deal. That was always the dream, to make it big in the league and make his parents proud. Matthew was doing it, not that you ever doubted him, but you were proud nonetheless.

The thing was, because Matthew was doing the damn thing, he gave up you. It was like a deal he made with the devil when he was seventeen, he could have everything he ever wanted if he didn’t have you to hold him back. You always knew that was why he broke up with you, it was the right person at the wrong time.

“It’s nice to see you Matthew,” You muse, biting the inside of your cheeks to hold back the grin on your face. You stopped the conversation before it started, constantly trying to make this as painless as possible, but it wasn’t always easy.

“Wait, uh, you’re going to be here until Christmas right?” Matthew asks, grabbing your attention before you slipped out of the kitchen. Matthew was hopeful, catching a flight a few days earlier than he usually could and landing before Christmas gave him more time to see you.

“I’ll be at my parents house,” You nod, thinking about your childhood bedroom that was currently covered in moving boxes while you waited to settle into your new place.

“Oh sweet,” Matthew takes another swing of his drink, trying to keep his cool because you were the only person who made him completely uncool.

“Yeah, sweet, I’ll see you around,” You wave, disappearing into the kitchen. Matthew takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts for a minute until Brady stepped in front of him. His little brother scoffed, a stupid smirk on his face when he finally spoke.

“Dude that was painful to watch.”

***

Matthew had no idea what the fuck he was doing. His feet were just carrying all two hundred and two pounds of his body in the exact direction of your house. He was drunk, well over the limit of how many whiskey shots he could even handle. He looked at his watch, it was almost three in the morning but if he didn’t get it out now when would he ever. He loved you, and all he could think about is what would happen if he could have just had one more night with you. Maybe you’d feel it, you’d always been pretty intuitive with his feelings, because he was awful with them. He had to make his case, did he even have one?

Oh hey Y/N, I know I’m hammered and it’s three in the morning the day before Christmas Eve but I want you to know I’m still in love with you.

That wouldn’t work, and he was going to have to do better than that. He could turn around and go home, but if he had to watch another one of your Instagram stories and pray that whoever was in them wasn’t your boyfriend again - he would lose his mind before he made it to the holidays next year. He snuck past the gate into your yard, not surprised to see your whole house was sleeping quietly. He picked up a few pebbles from your mother’s garden, shaking them in his hand and hoping you remembered the way he let you know he was outside when you’d sneak out in high school.

One.

Two.

Three.

You were woken up by the sound of three pebbles hitting your window, and you rub your eyes in disbelief by what you were hearing. Matthew wasn’t outside your window at three in the morning looking for you, why would he even think about it? 

“What the hell are you doing?” You ask, poking your head out the window and crossing your arms to battle the cool air blowing through.

“Come down?” Matthew asks, wiping his palms on the back of his jeans and giving you his best smile. A real one, because you’d always been able to tell when it was fake.

You should’ve closed the window, and pushed Matthew to the back of your mind until you found yourself creeping on his Instagram again. You were always a good listener, and you always tried to do the right thing but Matthew was your vice. He’d always been a little bit a bad boy, but never enough to stop you from coming back for more. So you opened your window a little more, slipping down and scaling down your house just like you used to.

Matthew could have pretended like he didn’t notice, his last name faded on the back of the hoodie you were wearing, but he couldn’t. You looked just as cute in it as you did all of those years before, “Seven was such a good number on you, I wish I could have kept it.”

You could feel the heat on your cheeks, hoping Matthew couldn’t catch it in the moonlight, “Why are you here?”

“I want one more night,” Matthew takes a deep breath, standing his ground, “I, uh fuck-”

Matthew Tkachuk had never been good with words. He put his foot in his mouth, all the time, but his plea was something you never thought you’d hear. It was Christmas, you were lonely, and a part of you wondered the same thing. So you said fuck it and decided that this was your problem later, pressing your lips to Matthew’s. Your hands gripped his shirt, trying to get as close to him as you could. Matthew was dumbfounded, wrapping his arms around your waist, his fingers digging into your sides.

“Can you be quiet?” You ask, pointing at the back door. It was the middle of the night and your parents room was on the first floor but if Matthew was quiet enough you could get him upstairs easily - you used to do it all the time.

Matthew nodded eagerly, following you inside and tip-toeing up the stairs. He was doing a terrible job, either he’d gotten bigger or the floors in your parents house had gotten creakier.

“You said you could be quiet,” You tease, letting Matthew push you against the door, he twisted the lock, smirking at you.

“I’m a lot bigger than I used to be,” Matthew declares, fake puffing out his chest.

“I noticed…” You muse, running over your hands over his shoulders. He’d gotten broader with age, and it wasn’t something that was lost on you. You press your lips to his, throwing your hands around his neck and pulling him closer. Your fingers crept up to his curls, tugging on them slightly. Matthew smirked against your lips, “I missed that.”

“I missed you,” Matthew mutters, wrapping your legs around his waist to bring you to your bed. You squeal, tucking your head into shoulder to stop the noise, “Who’s the loud one now?”

“Well don’t stop kissing me then,” You tease, grabbing Matthew and pulling him on top of you. You worked quickly, a pile of clothes in the corner of your that was going to be addressed later. Matthew’s lips were on your neck, his finger circling your clit while you bit your lip hold back a moan, “Matty please-”

The nickname slipped your lips so easily it was like you never should have stopped calling him that. Matthew took notice, and it was like music to his ears, “Anything you want babe.”

“Fuck me,” You breathe out, desperate for as much of him as you could get. Matthew slipped out of his boxers, pumping himself a few times before he gave you a look. You nodded, giving him the go ahead and pulling his lips back to yours. Matthew slipped inside you, and it’d never felt better.

Matthew was better now, much much better. His hips were snapping into you, a near perfect pace while grunts left his lips. The pleasure was almost too much, and you could feel your nails scratching into his back while you bit into his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. His hand snaked down to your clit, “Cum for me babe, c’mon.”

You clenched around him, the sensation was enough to send Matthew over the edge, spilling into you. He dropped to his elbows, placing lazy kisses on your skin while you basked in the post sex glow. Matthew’s skin was glistening against the moonlight from your window, his breath in your ear while you caught yours and it all felt right.

“You know you have to go now,” You remind him, “My dad will murder you if he catches you up here.”

“I know,” Matthew bumps his nose against yours, pressing one more kiss to your lips, “I’ll see you tomorrow? Or later?”

Later. It had completely slipped your mind that in just a few hours you were going to be forced to run an annual day before Christmas Eve 5k with the Tkachuk’s like you did every year. The idea was somehow worse than doing it on Thanksgiving, and now you had to see Matthew after you let him fuck you in your childhood bedroom. You watched Matthew dress himself, hopping out your window and back to his own house.

Now you just needed some sleep.

***

You felt like shit, and you were missing the iced coffee you didn’t have a chance to get while you trailed behind your parents to meet the Tkachuk’s. You greeted everyone, stopping at Matthew last, you were unsure of how to even greet him after what you’d just done a few hours before. He didn’t think anything of it, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest.

“Here,” Matthew says, nudging his cup towards you. You assumed it was coffee, but then the taste of a mimosa hit your tongue.

“Jeez,” You choke, coughing while you take down the champagne with just a hint of orange juice.

“Do you think I was going to run this sober? You wore me out last night,” Matthew teases, and he could feel Brady’s gaze on him.

The wheels in Brady’s head were turning. He was suspicious, catching Matthew sneak back into the house early in the morning, and now watching the two of you - it was clear. It became even clearer when they started running, because Brady knew Matthew wasn’t that slow and he didn’t wasn’t going to let Brady beat him. He was though, jogging behind Brady with you and laughing at whatever you said. There was one thing that was clear, Matthew got over his dumb fear of talking to you and finally did. His brother was happy, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was going to watch this explode in your faces in a few days. Matthew would go back to Calgary and just the first time you broke, it was going to be ugly.

***

The winter in St. Louis was brisk, but Matthew’s warm body next to you was enough to fight it. Your head was on his chest, and you were snoring softly. Matthew picked you up a few hours after you got home, driving up to the same lake you snuck off to in high school. He stole Brady’s truck, driving off with a bunch of blankets without giving Brady an answer as to where he was going. It was supposed to be romantic, but you’d always been prone to falling asleep when you were with him.

Matthew didn’t have a complaint in the world, you slept the same way you used to. Your head on his chest, a leg tangled with his and your hands clutched to his shirt so he couldn’t move. He wasn’t going anywhere. Matthew would let you sleep the entire day away if he could have. He carded his hands through your hair, a content sigh leaving his lips.

Matthew often wondered what would have happened if you never broke up. If you’d followed him to Calgary and what that would have been like. Maybe you’d still be together, and after all these years he’d start looking for a ring. If you’d buy a house together, maybe even be that family that houses wayward hockey players just like his parents did. You’d be the person he got to share looks with across the room when he was forced to have conversations he didn’t want to have. He’d get to take you family skates and you’d get to see him play and you’d live happily ever after.

Reality was always much more cruel, and it wasn't pretty. You had a life in St. Louis, one that didn’t include him. You were moving along in your life just fine without him. You didn’t need Matthew and it was dumb of him to think you’d drop it all for him. You never asked him to stay, and it would be unfair to ask you to wait around.

“I can hear you thinking, you might start to malfunction soon bubs,” You whisper, your voice still laced with sleep. You meant to run a hand through his hair, but the palm of your hand just hit his forehead while you moved it back down slowly. Matthew chuckles, the silly nicknames you gave him seemed to come out without a second thought, and it felt good to be called any of them by you.

“Just thinking about you,” Matthew breathes, and you pick up your head. Matthew shoots you a smile, but you knew he was faking it.

“Matty-” You take one deep breath, “Don’t ask me to come with you, you know it’s not fair to me.”

Your voice was cracking, pleading Matthew to just not have this conversation. You weren’t ready for it, because it meant accepting defeat. The universe wasn’t going to allow you to be together, and that’s just how it was going to be.

“I don’t want to go back to Calgary,” Matthew whispers, more to himself than you. He did want to go back, but he wanted to go back with you.

“You have to,” You sit up, a chill running through your body from the loss of Matthew’s body next to yours. You rub your arms to warm up, “You have to because we’re just not going to make it work Matty.”

Matthew nods solemnly, like his heart just broke all over again. You were right, you always were, it just seemed naïve to think you’d both be any different now than you were the first time, “Let me take you home.”

The car ride was awkward. The only thing cutting through the silence was the Christmas music playing on the radio. You sat with your head pressed against the window, counting down the streets until you finally hit yours. Matthew halted the car, and you gave him one more look before you stepped out of the car, “Tell your parents I said Merry Christmas.”

“I will,” Matthew nods, and those were the last words you heard him say before you walked up your stairs. Matthew waited for you to be inside before he drove off, a small part of him hoping you’d run back to the car and tell him you wanted him too. You didn’t, and that was just how it was going to be.

***

Christmas was awful, the past two days seemed to pass were pure agony. You were sad, and knowing Matthew was about three blocks and four houses away wasn’t helping. You were counting down the hours until he was back in Calgary, away from you and you could finally grieve him for the final time. The last nail in the coffin of what was once your first love had yet to be hammered in but once he was gone that would settle it.

You had two more hours until you knew his flight would leave, and you were so close to the finish line you could taste it. You were home alone, your parents still making their way to a few neighbors' houses to spend the last few moments of the holiday with their friends. You were sulking, a wine bottle stolen from your mother’s collection and the Grinch on your TV. 

A doorbell was the only thing to interrupt you, and you could see a tuft of curly hair through the window. Matthew was standing outside your door, pacing back and forth while he waited for you to open it. You thought about acting like you weren’t home, maybe he’d leave and never come back. You opened it, not even having a chance to open your mouth before he spoke.

“Come with me,” Matthew pleads, “I love you, I still do and I always have and we’re meant to be together. There isn’t anyone I want more by my side than you, and I know it’ll be hard but I’m not ready to let you slip through my fingers again.”

“Matthew-” You interrupt grabbing his arm to stop his pacing, “Listen to yourself.”

“I am, and I want this, I never wanted to give up you and I just can’t fly back there with people who don’t know when I’m faking a smile or when I don’t want to be somewhere,” Matthew explains, running a hand over his face, “You’re the best I’ll ever have and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

“I’ll come until New Year’s,” You agree, Matthew’s face breaking out into a very real smile, “We need to talk about this Matthew.”

“You talk, I’ll listen, you can have whatever you want,” Matthew agrees, because he’d move the sun if he could for you. His lips pressed against yours, pushing you against the same front door he kissed you in front of on your first date. The porch light still flickers the way it used to while Matthew’s hands gripped your face because he was afraid to let you go. You both finally pulled, Matthew mumbling his next words against your lips.

Tis the damn season huh?

[charliedawn]

Imagine you have been kidnapped and your favorite slashers decide to come to the rescue

It has been a few days now that none of the slashers have seen or heard from you. They are growing more and more worried and nervous by the day. Finally, thanks to his connections, Five succeeds in finding out that you have been kidnapped by your "old friends".

" I feel weird..Why do I feel weird ?"

Five asks himself and takes a glass of whiskey to calm his nerves. He then looks at his wall and stares at it for a while, hesitantly.

" Am I crazy ?"

He looks back at his drink and, after a moment at looking at his reflection in the amber liquid, swallows all of it in one go.

" You know what ? F*ck it all ! I am crazy !"

He then walks towards the wall and starts tearing it apart with his bare hands to get out the object he had hidden in it. An axe.

" It was supposed to be for a special occasion..but oh well !"

He then walks outside to his neighbor's door : Brahms.

He smashes the door to pieces and Brahms immediately gets up. When he sees that it is Five, he almost groans in annoyance, but stops when he starts thinking as to why he would come to him in the middle of the night.

" Y..Y/N ?"

He asks in a hopeful tone, wondering if the short man had finally found something about her whereabouts. Five finally enters his bedroom and whisper shouts.

" Yes, you idiot ! We're going to search for them ! As the police is obviously too dumb to find them themselves !"

Brahms smiles widely behind his mask and quickly grabs his doll before following Five. However, they are walking in the corridor when they spot two very distinctive orange and red head getting out by the window. The two clowns look up to see the two others. They stay still for a moment before smirking at each other knowingly. There is always a moment where crazy people just have this connection, this moment where they don't even need words to communicate.

" Ah ! Guess what ?! One of my escape plans actually works ! Just thought we would go and save Y/N, but looks like we're not the only ones. So..How about we go search for Freddy and Myers and you go find Jason and Sir Sh*tty the clown ?"

Five nods in agreement before running towards the mute's room, while the Clown Brothers run towards Freddy's room. Once all reunited, they get out by Pennywise's exit that was, in fact, a tunnel in the garden of Freddy. (Freddy being of course aware and even helping Pennywise by pretending to garden when he digs) Five, as well as all of the killers find themselves revigorated as soon as they are out, their powers coming back to them. Penny takes a step forward and starts sniffing the air for your scent. He quickly finds and turns his head towards the rest with a wicked smile.

" Let's go find them."

A few hours later :

" Come on Sam ! I don't want to work for you anymore ! I can't keep pretending that what you're doing is right !"

You yell, wishing to reason with him, even though you were already beaten bloody. But, he doesn't listen to you and only slaps you so hard that you see stars.

" Doesn't mean that you are free, Y/N ! Me and the boys will always track you down, wherever you go ! You are a part of our team. You really thought that just by moving away, you could get away from your family ?!"

You glare up at him before spatting angrily.

" You are not my family.."

However, before he could slap you again, kids' creepy laughs fill the room. Sam gnashes his teeths and looks around with nervousness. You can't help but feel a bit apprehensive yourself.

" Well hello.."

Sam almost lets out a scream when he see one of the clowns get out of the dark. He takes a step back and nearly tumbles over a grave from which, another clown appears.

" So, what was the plan, bad boy ? Were you going to hit them hit them hit them until they forgive you before finally bashing their brains out ?!"

Pennywise asks while accompanying his words with demonstrative gestures. Sam's eyes widen and he quickly gets out a gun and starts shooting in every direction. You close your eyes, wishing for him not to shoot you in the process. He almost feels relieved when he opens one eye and sees them gone. However, when he turns towards you, he sees Jason standing protectively in front of you, a bullet that was destined to you lodged in his chest.

" Not a very wise move, my friend. Should have gone for the head. Would have taken him longer to recover.."

Sam quivers in fear as he sees a third clown get out from around a corner. He then yells with tears in his eyes and snort coming out of his nose pathetically.

" Do all your friends wear f*cking clown costumes ?! Is it your new trick to get rid of me, Y/N ?!"

He doesn't see it, but from behind Jason, you smile and reply.

" You never asked what was my job, a**h*le. I am a nurse at St Louis, and looks like my patients are hungry.."

Suddenly, Sam is turned around by Freddy that gives him a nasty grin.

" You're right about that. I'm f*ching starving."

" B..Boys !"

Sam calls for his gang that his supposed to stay on watch, but then, Freddy gets out their heads. He then show them to Sam with mocking concern.

" You're looking for these fellows ? Sorry, the clowns were a little bit hungry on our way here. Thought we would grab a takeaway first."

Freddy starts laughing histerically at his own joke, which makes Sam fall to the floor, white as a sheet.

" Come on..Come to Papa !"

Sam screams so loud that it makes you wince in pain. He then starts crawling backwards, away from Freddy that is still walking forward while laughing maniacally. However, Freddy suddenly disappears and Sam is left with his heart beating a thousand times a minute. He gets up and sprints towards the exit. He opens the door and falls face to face with Michael. Michael stands in the doorway and tilts his head a bit to side while observing the shaking man.

Sam walks backwards, away from the giant. He doesn't even have any voice to scream with anymore. He is scared beyond anything and starts running the other way. He ends up in the same room as you again and sees Five, trying to untie you. He smirks, thinking to have finally found an escape..He takes Five and puts the head of his gun against his head.

" Stay back or I'll kill the kid !"

The group stops abruptly and Sam smiles widely, thinking he won. But then, Five glares up as him and stomps on his foot with such force that Sam screams in pain again.

" Who are you calling "the kid", idiot ?"

Five gets out of his grip and all of the slashers surround him. Suddenly, Michael and Jason raise some knives they had managed to get their hands on in the kitchen and you watch before whispering :

" They always say to watch out for the quiet ones.."

And with that, the die is cast. You can only watch with a morbid fascination as each one of the slashers seem to attack Sam with such coordination. You're impressed. They seem to work so well together. Even the clowns seem to have fun along each other, whereas normally they would be at each other's throats.

When they're finished and Sam is, indeed, very dead..They all turn their heads towards you, blood splattered all over their faces. They are waiting..For what ? You wonder. Suddenly, you stand up and they all seem to try to guess your next move. But, you don't let any emotion take a hold of you and only sigh before taking out a napkin from your pocket. You look at it for a moment before kneeling in front of Brahms and starting to get the blood out of his face gently. He seems to melt into the kind gesture and closes his eyes appreciatively.

" You can't come back to St Louis in this state..It would not be good for you or for me. You need to take a bath. If you want to escape, I won't stop you. Not that I have the power to anyway.."

Of all the reactions you could have had, this one was the least the slashers had expected. They had expected fear, screams..even disgust. But here you were, washing their faces as if they hadn't just killed someone in front of you. Before anyone could stop him, Penny jumps on you and licks your face happily while you start laughing at his impulsive gesture. However, Pennywise appears behind him and drags him away from you by the collar.

" Jeez kid ! You're happy ! We get it ! That doesn't mean you have to drool all over them !"

Suddenly, Jason, Brahms and Michael look at each other in silent agreement before using their massive size to wrap their arms around all of you.

" Hey ! I never agreed to this hugging bullsh*t !"

Freddy yells in disapproval while trying to wiggle his way out. To everyone's surprise, it's Pennywise that answers him.

" Oh, stop complaining, you old dog ! You're enjoying this as much as the rest of us !"

You can hear Freddy grumbling and can imagine him crossing his arms sulkily. But, he doesn't try to deny. You bite you lip in order not to laugh. No matter how much you should hate/be scared/horrified by what they had done, you couldn't bring yourself to do so.

" Let's go home.."

They all nod in agreement and the three mutes free you. You all start walking towards St Louis. Who knows ? Maybe you are crazy too..

[addythelarrie]

9:28

A soulmate AU where 3 little hearts appear on your wrist when you meet your soulmate after turning 18.

Or, the one where Louis is so sure about the fact that Harry is his soulmate, he's been telling it to everyone they've met since he was 3.

Intro // Part 7

Louis eyes the notification on his lock screen while mindlessly tapping the side of his phone. His thoughts are all over the place but somehow they seem to circle back to the question- why? Why is Harry asking him this now?

The fact of the matter is- they're not. And it's not like Louis doesn't want to be. It's more like he's planned a whole afternoon of fun for valentine's day- which is in a week- where he's planning on asking the younger boy to be his boyfriend.

Since he's sixteen now, one of the compulsory classes he has to take is Soulmates 101 and if he's totally honest, he'd tell you that he absolutely hates that class. The teacher rubbed him up the wrong way since the first day when he insisted that no-one knows who their soulmates are before both of them turns eighteen. Louis stood his ground though, insisting that he already knows who his soulmate is. He's known since he was three years old.

Right now though, after much thought and deliberation about why he doesn't have those three little tattoo's that would prove that he's talking the truth- and a heavy worded conversation with his mother who was called in by the principal- Louis has made peace with the fact that Harry might not be his soulmate.

He's also not talking to his mother- other than thanking her for the food she provides- because he firmly believes she could have said something sooner and he wouldn't have made a complete arse of himself in front of the whole class by insisting that he already has a soulmate.

Alas, he feels it's his responsibility now to tell the younger boy that they probably aren't soulmates, but that he still has this feeling in his gut that they might be. He can't really explain it, and he's not as vocal about it, but deep down he knows that loving Harry is something he's bound to do for the rest of his life.

Which leads to his plans for valentine's day where he plans to ask the green eyed boy to be his boyfriend. He's still debating if he should come clean about the whole soulmate thing then too, but for now, being boyfriends feels like a step in the right direction.

Sighing he unlocks his phone and starts typing, wincing a little when he hits send.

Louis blinks a few times, furrowing his brows as he stares down at his screen. His heart starts beating irregularly at the mere thought of Harry wanting to be boyfriends with someone that's not him. And if he's being honest, he thinks he might go crazy at the thought of this Lewis chap stealing Harry's first kiss.

His Harry.

He should be the one to have that honor. Not some random bloke who knows next to nothing about the green eyed boy.

Louis winces. He has this gut feeling. It's something he can't really describe. It's like deep down he knows Harry is his soulmate, he's known this his whole life. Never once has he doubted it- until now. Now he is, now he's doubting something that's been a fact for as long as he can remember. Keeping Harry to himself is what he wants more than anything. But what if he's wrong? What if his gut has been lying to him and Harry isn't his soulmate? He can't bring himself to possibly keep Harry from finding his happiness, even if that's with someone else.

So with the knowledge that they might not be soulmates, Louis finds himself shaking his head slowly, biting the inside of his cheek when he starts typing his reply. He feels like crying the moment he hits send.

Previous || Next

[qiankunfics]

KunTen Fic Alert

AO3

1.   The Thief by HaloHalo

2. Welcome Home by DestinyHope

3. eye of a magpie by angelic_angel

Summary: As a child, Kun always had a habit of taking things that weren’t his.As an adult, he realises that old habits die hard. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

4. another failed lifetime by thatone_kunstan for nik_nimmi

Summary: In one more lifetime, Qian Kun and Lee Yongqin never quite get the ending right. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

5. How To Spend A Free Evening 101 by DoreenKing

Summary: Qian Kun is a Good Boyfriend™ and okay, maybe he's a little bit domestic, but it works for them. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

6. An Eternity (Hopefully Spent With You) by AwkwardMirae

Summary: Ten wants to believe Kun is cursed to eternity too. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

7. Captain 🍆💦 by quarterpastnoona

Summary: The story of Ten and Captain 🍆💦 Rating: Explicit   Status: One-Shot

8. Big chance (Love is blinding you). by Cris_ss

Summary: Ten is totally in love with Kun and the good thing is Kun adores him as much. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-shot (part of KunTen courtship story)

9. taste it right off my lips by earthsandwich

Summary: Yangyang sighs. “Is competition some sort of foreplay between you two?”“Maybe,” Ten answers for the both of them, laughing. “It’s kind of exciting.” Rating: Teen  Status:  One-Shot

10. Cat-sìth by YHXLWTK

Summary: Kun travellers to the Scottish highlands to work on some music. A magical creature in the form of a cat distracts him from his work. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot

11. catch him if you can by blazingsirius

Finally completed! 

12. what once was by angelic_angel

Summary:Ten comes back to his grandparents' seaside cottage for the summer, running from a life he wants to forget and a past he never wants to remember. Rating: Mature  Status: On-Going

13. Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) by Anonymous

Summary:Ten has been disappearing for days at a time without warning, coming back with a new piercing and a refusal to acknowledge anything is wrong. Kun is starting to slowly lose his patience. Rating: Mature  Status: One-Shot

14. Trust Worthy by taetens

15. my soul calls for yours. by nik_nimmi

16. On Thin Ice by taetens

17. Lofi Music to study and fall in Love to by Fijou

Summary: Kun firmly believed that listening to music late at night was something incredibly personal. A routine that he had learned to love over long nights spent studying, mellow beats and his cat the only ones keeping him company. And lately, a stranger by the username Ten10_0. Rating: Teen  Status: On-Going

18. change in routine by andnowforyaya

Summary: “Hey,” Kun said gently, in the voice he typically used when one of their cats was sleeping on his arm. “Hey, how do you feel?” Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

19. The Fishy Tail of Qian Kun by besthonestliar

Summary: Kun is just living his typical idol life when boom, he's suddenly a mermaid. How's this going to work? Rating: Teen   Status: On-Going

20. saturdays by andnowforyaya

Summary: There was something magical about Saturdays. Kun usually woke early, around 7 or 8, to go for a nice, long, leisurely run around the park, and when he returned, Louis and Leon would greet him at the front door, tails high in the air, meowing impatiently for Kun to fill their food bowls.  Rating: General   Status: One-Shot

21. this is not the kunten-t we signed up for by writesinfontuwu

Summary: If only the soundproofing of the walls worked, he wouldn't have to deal with the not-so-innocent sounds (read: butt slaps) from the two oldest. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

22. No Biting by taetens

23. Missing Spark by taetens

24. a million cups by rainingover

Summary: It’s something Kun’s found himself doing a lot— automatically doing things for Ten, just because. Because he wants to, because it feels right. It's automatic, like breathing, or blinking. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

25. Friday I'm in Love

Summary: He doesn’t know why and how, though the more he considers it, the more he wills himself to come to the conclusion that he's feeling this way because Ten is the best friend he never thought he would have. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot

26. 6:30 am | kunten! by jayprkz

27.  keep it going, lovebound by earthsandwich

Summary: Kun and Ten are suspish, Yangyang is confused, and Xiaojun is just there for the drama. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

28. dig deeper, you're a keeper by primroseshows

Summary: Ten gets fed up with Kun's Jay Chou obsession and decides to play a game to get back at him. Ten's crush has nothing to do with it. Rating: Mature  Status: One-Shot

29. A (Very) Fluffy Secret by Sicc_01

Summary: WayV's cute and curious moments with Kun, the shy and fluffy kitsune. Rating: Teen Status: On-going

30. oral argument by illie

31. Wrong (Right) Ad by Alette

32. Countdown from Nine by MailOrderBride

33. then have my lips the sin that they have took

Summary: Ten falls in love with Kun. This isn't a problem, if you leave aside the fact that he is a vampire and Kun is a werewolf - and that they are both sworn enemies. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot

34. make it happen (kiss and makeup) by miramiro

Summary: Wherein Kun applying eyeliner on Ten makes them drift apart and ten years later, brings them together. Rating: Teen   Status: One-Shot

35. Me, My Boyfriend, And His Fucking Midi by doiemination (sweetmedusaaa)

Summary:Ten has a lot of tips when it comes to dating a Capricorn. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

36. The Lucky Hare's Menu by VAMPIROKUN

Summary: In which Kun's a chef that wants nothing more than for his restaurant to be successful, and Ten is a food critic who is bad at hiding his feelings. Their story doesn't really start there, though. Rating: Teen  Status: Completed  

37. kitchen island by snowyleeknow

Summary: Kun loves Ten more than he hates the fact that Ten keeps sitting on the damn kitchen island. Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot 

38. airplane, love (come with me) by earthsandwich

39. The Cat Problem by starlitsprout

Summary: Ten needs a cat sitter. Johnny finds him a Disney prince lookalike with pretty dimples to solve his problem. Whatever else happens, is up to Ten.  Rating: General  Status: One-Shot 

40. Broken Line by taetens

Summary: A tiny thread, so minuscule yet impactful, leads to the one thing everyone but Qian Kun wants: a soulmate.  Rating: Teem  Status: One-Shot 

41. first dates (and other disasters) by snowyleeknow

Summary:  Yangyang provokes Ten by telling him he'd be terrible at first dates. Ten proves him wrong a little too well. Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot 

42. Commercial Flying (and Crying) by Mntsnflrs

43.  If I Really Love You by devinemoon

Summary: Ten falls in love with someone who keeps running away from it. Rating: Teen   Status: One-Shot 

44. Mystery Boy by taetens

45. Five (5) by Josferatu

46. cola chupa chups (pick me) by miramiro

Summary: Kun is not amused, and vows to make sure his "secret admirer" won't be for too long either. Rating: Teen Status: On-Going

47. the arrangement by evijuls

Summary: In the car to the studio, Ten’s mind drifts to a year back, when he and Kun made their arrangement. That arrangement that he sometimes hates with everything he has and sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps him going. Rating: Teen   Status: One-Shot

48. Moonwalk by hyuckaboo

49.electric magnetic by miramiro

50. sorry about the mess by andnowforyaya

51.  to reach you by mysheeples

Summary: Yangyang finds himself with some free time and finally understands what's going on between Ten and Kun. Frustration ensues. Rating: General   Status: One-Shot 

52. c'est ça l'amour by camellia117

53. in tongues and quiet sighs by evijuls

Summary:It was their first kiss, and it was Kun who made a move, and his lips were soft and confident, and hot, and the movements of his tongue made something inside of Ten flutter. Like fucking butterflies. Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot 

54. Fakers by taetens

55. You Are a Keeper by jiaqins

56. kiss me more by kingnyoungie

Summary: “We could be fucking something,” Ten sings along quite loudly—he’s letting loose, give him a break! Work’s been up his ass and this has been the only time he could ever— Rating: Teen   Status: One-Shot

57. right from the start by evijuls

Summary: Sometimes Kun thinks that Ten knows each of them even better than they do themselves and all he wants is to be the person who knows Ten just as well. Better than anyone else. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot 

58.  things you said after you kissed me by itsgameover

59.  Loving you is a comfort by nik_nimmi

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis is pining for Harry. We hope you’ll enjoy this list. We also have a mutual pining rec list here and we will have a pining Harry rec list eventually. Happy reading!

1) Down On Your Knees, You Don’t Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. this wonderful, wonderful thing.

2) You Had Me At Hello | Explicit | 4529 words

Louis works in the shop next to Harry's cupcake shop.   Louis pines after Harry until he goes into a heat and Harry finally catches up.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis’ bed when he’s cold. Louis pines.

4) Something To Live For | Mature | 5535 words

After over a century of waiting for Harry to realize they're mates,  Louis gets his heart broken when his friend announces he's found his 'one' in a human girl named Teresa. Wanting only happiness for Harry, Louis accepts that it just wasn't meant to be and decides it's time to let go of the immortal life.

5) Five Times Harry Styles Was Jealous | Mature | 6184 words

Harry's jealous all the time but there were five times that definitely stand out. Five times that changed Louis and Harry's relationship.

6) On My Mind All The Time, Say You're Mine | Explicit | 9261 words

“Dude, we’re inside, and it’s night time. Those don’t look as cool as you think they do.” Louis could kick himself, he sounded so stupid, but it certainly got the guy’s attention.

It was at that unfortunate moment that he noticed several other things about this hot asshole, that he hadn’t noticed just staring from afar. First, when Louis spoke to him, his gaze was kind of unfocused behind his sunglasses, and secondly, that he had a red and white cane folded up under his arm.

“I’m… Blind,” the man chuckled, awkwardly.  

Louis wanted to melt into a puddle out of pure embarrassment.

“I— am so sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” the man soothed, grabbing at Louis’ shoulders before he could get away.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, looking down at his shoes.

“It’s alright,” He cackled. “I get it a lot. More than you know.”

7) Let The Beating Waves Come Drag Me Down | Explicit | 9447 words

“Just try it, the worst thing that could ever happen it’s that you won’t like it” Niall had told him. And there he was, on the way to one of these pubs created for perverts, willing to break up the routine to try something new, something that terrified as much as excited him.

One night to get swept up in passion, one night to let the devil get in.

"Tonight, I’m going to make you scream of ecstasy Louis,” he said with a raspy voice full of control, making him tremble with anticipation.

8) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699

There are a lot of people Harry might expect to find on his doorstep at three o’clock in the afternoon these days.

It could be the delivery man, come to drop off the pair of boots Harry impulsively ordered online last week. It could be one of his neighbors, dropping by to complain about how a party he’d thrown weeks ago had clogged up the street. It could also be any number of his friends in L.A., who stop by unannounced most days to mooch off Harry’s food or whisk him away to try some new yogurt shop.

As a rule, it definitely cannot be Louis Tomlinson, although Harry’s blinked at least three times now, and it’s still Louis standing there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a duffel bag at his feet.

9) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10232 words

Nice guys always finish last.

10) Call If You Need Me | Explicit | 10770 words

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

11) Love Is Like This; Not A Heartbeat, But A Moan | Explicit | 13150 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

12) Just Let Me | Mature | 14714 words

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

13) We’re the New Romantics | Explicit | 16054 words

Alternatively, a high school au where Louis pines and Harry is not who he seems to be. Featuring peanut butter banana milkshakes, motorcycles, and first times.

14) Wait For Me (To Come Home) | Explicit | 16066 words

A future fic of time stamps where Louis finally comes to grips with a love he'd denied for too long.

15) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do.

In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) The Way The Storm Blows | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

18) Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark | Mature | 30830 words

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

19) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

20) Where The Lights Are Beautiful | Mature | 31170 words

The accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

21) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

"He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after.

Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that."

22) Before We Knew | Explicit | 39831 words

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

23) Eyes Off You I Explicit | 39396 words

A Charlie’s Angels inspired fic where Louis is the brains, Harry is the charm, Liam is the muscle, and Niall drives the getaway car - and Zayn is there, too. sometimes.

24) Kiss Me On The Mouth And Set Me Free (Nut Please Don't Bite) | Mature | 42074 words

Harry is the CEO of Flora Corp, Louis is his new secretary.

"...Louis wanted him so badly. Wanted Harry to pick him up, bite him, and break him. Make Louis his, make Louis cry, make Louis a beautiful, plump, pregnant omega..."

25) Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Aches | Explicit | 46625 words

A Friends with Benefits AU, in which Louis falls in love and Harry is jealous. There is some Karaoke singing somewhere in there, because how do you write a romantic comedy without a Karaoke scene?

26) Underneath The Moon | Mature | 46927 words

In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.

27) The Sidelines | Explicit | 47078 words

Note: There are mentions of Top Louis.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can’t stand one another, since they can’t keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other.

28) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

29) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

30) Inevitable | Explicit | 185917 words

AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[horansqueen]

New Angel - Chapter 14

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1  ☆ chapter 2  ☆ chapter 3  ☆ chapter 4  ☆ chapter 5  ☆ chapter 6  ☆ chapter 7  ☆ chapter 8 ☆ chapter 9 ☆ chapter 10 ☆ chapter 11 ☆ chapter 12 ☆ chapter 13

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.7k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox!  ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

When I pushed on the door of the library, I felt lighter and I had a smile on my face. I was even starting to wonder if maybe I should give up on a love and sex life altogether. I knew it could bring joy and happiness, but at the exact moment, all it did was confuse me and make me nervous, and honestly, I didn't need that.

I smiled when I noticed Millie sitting behind the counter, her head leaned against her hand and looking down, probably deeply lost in a book. I stared at her a few seconds and saw her look up at someone who came to ask a question. She got up and they talked so I decided to walk the aisles to find something new to read. I ended up with a book full of random thoughts and sat at a table near the counter to make sure she'd see me. It took my friend only a few seconds to notice me and her lips curled as she raised her eyebrows. I waved slightly at her and checked my watch. I still had about ten minutes to wait and I just opened the book to start reading. It's only when I felt someone sit next to me that I got out of my thoughts a bit but I still had to blink a few times to get back completely to reality, turning around and smiling to Millie who leaned her elbow on the table and placed her chin on her palm, staring at me.

"I'm glad you came." she whispered, making me raise my eyebrows.

"I said I would, did you doubt it?"

She shrugged a shoulder and looked away. "When Louis said he'd come, it was a 50/50 bet to take."

"Perfect. That's the first thing you'll write down on your list."

She raised her eyebrows a bit surprised and I just got up and walked back to the desk where one of her co-workers was now sitting. I sent the girl a big smile and bent down slightly, asking her for paper and pen. She smiled back and started playing with a lock of her hair before nodding and giving me a few sheets and two pen. I walked back to Millie with a winner smile and she rolled her eyes, chuckling as I sat back down.

"T'was easy."

"With those eyes and that smile you can clearly get anything you want." she pointed out, rolling her eyes again.

"You almost sound jealous."

I gave her a sheet and a pen as she sighed, taking the pen in her hand and scribbling at the top to make sure the pen was working.

"I am." she confessed in a whisper. "It must be amazing to be you."

"Can I remind you that the girl I thought I'd spent my life with has broken my heart?"

"And then came back. I don't think you realize how lucky you are. Not about Grace coming back, but about everyone falling in love with you super easily." she explained, staring down at her sheet.

I looked at what she was writing and smiled sadly. 'All The Things I Hate About Lou'.

"How many times did you have your heart broken, Niall?" she continued, drawing hearts next to Louis' name.

"What do you mean?"

"How many girls did you fall for that didn't love you back? How many girls did you date and loved actually left you? How many of them made you cry?" she elaborated, making me frown slightly. "And I'm not even asking about the girls you just wanted to shag. I'm pretty sure not many refused."

"I've been through unrequited love, too, you know." I shook my head. "I know how it feels."

"You probably broke more hearts than the number of times yours has been broken." she added slowly with an other shrug and a sigh. "I'm not saying you didn't hurt or that your pain is not real or important I just mean..." she paused and shook her head, her eyes finally meeting mine. "I just mean that it must amazing to be you."

"Maybe it's time you see that it's also amazing to be you, Mill." I pointed out. "And the fact that Louis broke your heart doesn't mean you're not incredible, okay?"

I grabbed my pen and started writing X's on all the hearts she had drawn and finally added the number '1'.

"Okay..."

"Now write down how unreliable he is."

Millie looked up at me and her lips curled a bit before she chuckled. I waited until she was done and grabbed my sheet too, making a long vertical line in the middle before writing 'Grace' on the left and 'Summer' on the right. I separated both their cases in two too, writing 'pros' on both sides and then 'cons'.

I stared at the sheet for a minute or two and finally sighed. I had no idea what to write. Not because they didn't have qualities and flaws, but because I knew it would bring me closer to a decision I was clearly not ready to make.

"You don't have to write anything right now." I heard, feeling Millie's hand on my shoulder.

I kept my eyes on the sheets and licked my lips, nodding slowly and finally, I folded the sheet and put it in my back pocket. Millie got up and I did the same, forcing myself to put a smile back on my face and I walked past her. She followed me outside and when we were out, I stopped and turned to her, raising my eyebrows. I decided to put anything that had to do with love away for now, burring it deep in my brain for a while, focusing only on doing fun things.

"Okay, so what's your routine after work?"

She looked a bit surprised but finally turned around, pointing at a small restaurant not too far. "I go there first."

"Alright, let's go there, then."

I followed her inside and she ordered three pieces of pizza and three water bottles. The person behind the counter smiled and prepared the food, putting every slices of pizza in a different box. I watched Millie pay and grab the bag the guy was handing her before sending him a smile.

"Thanks Jon, I'll see you tomorrow."

We walked out and I raised my eyebrows, looking at her with an amused smile. "You literally know his name?"

"We all work around each other so we sort of see each other often. Not just with Jon but with other people too." she clarified, handing me a box. I grabbed it and she looked again in the bag for a water bottle, giving it to me too.

"Please, tell me the other pizza is not for Louis."

She looked up in my eyes and her lips curled. "No!" she chuckled as she started walking quicker. I followed her in an alley but frowned as I pushed my hands in my pockets. I was not sure why we were there but I didn't even have time to ask. I saw my friend bend down near a man who was sleeping and whisper something to him. He jumped slightly and she laughed, handing him a box and a water bottle. He sat up and grabbed both a small smile on his lips.

"What is it today, Millie?"

"Pizza." she pointed out. "How are you today, Ernie?"

I watched her interact with a homeless man just standing there and wondering who the hell was this girl I thought I knew, and why didn't I try to find out more about her before,

"Is your friend mute or just dumb?" the man asked, making my friend laugh.

"I'd have to pick the latter."

I frowned at her and took a step closer. "Hey! That's rude!"

"Ernie, this is my friend Niall. Niall, this is my friend Ernie."

I sent him a small smile and a head nod before Millie sighed and got back up, telling him she was leaving but that she'd be back the next day. She walked past me and I was about to follow her but finally took the few steps separating me from Ernie and handed him my box.

"Thanks, kid."

I nodded again and turned on my heels, jogging slightly to reach Millie who just looked at me with her lips curled on the left. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged, pushing my hands back in my pockets. "What?"

"Nothing."

I could hear in her voice that she was thinking about something but I couldn't decipher the way she was looking at me. I smiled back at her and finally cleared my throat. "Okay, what's next?"

She took her slice of pizza out of the box and took a bite before handing it to me. "Once a week, I go to the movies and the other days, I just go in the old dvd and vhs shop where they sell old movies for a buck or two."

"And what's today?" I replied, my mouth full of pizza. "The shop. Cinema is on thursday because it's pay day."

"Makes sense."

We walked inside a small shop and the bell placed on top of the door rang gently. She waved at the employee and he waved back before she chose an aisle and tilted her head on the side to read the titles. It took her about five minutes before her lips curled and she grabbed one. It was a tape and I started wondering if she even had a VCR to watch it.

"This. Did you ever see it?"

She handed me a box and I raised my nose up when I noticed Leonardo Dicaprio on the cover. I turned the tape around and noticed the incredible landscapes pictured. The images would probably look even better on DVD or in 4K but I didn't mention it and just nodded. It was her routine, not mine, and I was extremely curious to find out more about her.

"Nop, never."

"It's a good movie, with a few French actors."

I followed her to pay and the guy behind the counter smiled and nodded. "Ah, nice one."

"I know right? I think I'm gonna keep this one."

"A movie where Leonardo Dicaprio goes nuts? Good idea to keep it." he added, making her chuckle.

"And the girl is nice to look at, too." Millie added, making the guy nod frenetically.

I looked around the place, quite surprised at how many choices they had. How many nice places like this was I missing on? And why didn't I ever hear about them?

"What did you mean when you said you'd keep this one?" I asked when we walked out.

"Oh, when I bring back three movies, I can trade it for one. I do that sometimes."

I turned to look at her and she did the same just to send me a smile before turning her head back in front of her. We kept walking but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I thought I knew Millie but I had just realized that there were so many things about her that she didn't share and that I didn't take the time to ask, I knew that even if our friendship was not recent, our bond and how close we were was pretty new but at the same time, I felt like there were things I should know about her.

I should have checked where I was going because once again, I ended up running into a trash can on the sidewalk. Millie started laughing and I groaned, taking my hands out of my pockets before getting around it and walking quickly to her.

"Shut up." I mumbled, making her laugh even more.

"You don't seem like the clumsy kind of guy, I'm just surprised every time you run into something, and it seems to happen a lot!"

"Yea yea, how about you stop laughing and we just go back home to watch that movie?"

We had to watch the movie in her room for the simple reason that the videotape recorder was there and it seemed like way too much trouble to plug it in the living room. I made popcorn but Millie opened a few drawers and placed candies on her bed and it made me smile.

"Why don't you buy 6 or 7 movies at the same time? That way you don't have to go back there every day." I proposed, throwing some popcorn in my mouth and leaning against the wall with her.

"I can't know which mood i'll be in. It's a spur of the moment thing." she explained as the movie started. "Plus, I love going there."

"And what do we do after watching the movie?"

"It's dinner. Then shower, a few episodes of a netflix show, and bed time."

We watched the movie for a while and I had to admit the plotline was good, even if a bit fucked up. Millie was also right about the girl : she was very nice to look at and somehow, it made me glance at her.

"That girl is hot as fuck." I admitted, making Millie burst into laughter as she pushed an other candy in her mouth.

"I know right! And she's your type, too! I knew you'd like her!"

I blinked a few times and once again turned to my friend, leaning my head on the wall. I hated when she said that. I knew she didn't mean anything by it but I didn't want to admit that I would use some sort of base or mold to pick a girl. I hated thinking that I was shallow to the point where other girls who were not 'my type' wouldn't catch my eyes or stand a chance with me. And most of all, I hated that Millie saw me like that. I was about to start a discussion about it when Millie talked again, her eyes still glued on the tv.

"What about you?" she glanced at me. "What's your routine?"

I crossed my arms on my chest and shrugged a shoulder as my nose raised up in a grimace. "I don't have a routine anymore. My routine used to be with Grace and when she left, it became netflix from when the sun rises until it would set."

The fact that it was just being clear to me made something twist in my stomach. Who the fuck was I? Could I remember who I was before Grace? And now, with Summer, was I really myself?

I took the sheet out of my back pocket and unfolded it just as Millie handed me a pen and a book to write on. I looked up at her and sent her a small smile before writing under the cons in Grace's column. 'She decides everything'

"You know, I think that's part of why you annoyed me so much." Millie admitted. I looked up from the sheet and sent her a frown. Her traits softened and she sent me a sorry smile. "She would just tell you what she wanted and what to do and you'd never argue. She was bossy and controlling."

I couldn't pretend she was not right and I nodded with a sigh. "You know the worst? Summer is exactly the opposite. She's super compliant and it can get quite annoying."

Millie raised her eyebrows at me. "Well I guess you found something to write in the cons for Summer."

I sighed again but louder this time before looking down at my sheet again. I wrote down what I had just said and shook my head a bit. It was pathetic that the first things I thought about writing were flaws and I closed my eyes, letting my head fall against the wall in a loud noise after closing my eyes. "This is ridiculous, I can't choose."

"Hey, relax, it's just day one."

I felt my friend move on the bed and forced myself to open my eyes, noticing Millie was now facing me with a small smile. "We have 6 more days to fill that sheet." she slapped gently my thigh with the back of her hand and licked her lips as they curled more. "Trust me."

[zillennial97]

Friends to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs

Hiding Place by alivingfire | 365k | Explicit

Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.

Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

And Then a Bit by infinitelymint | 158k | Explicit

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Wild Love by purpledaisy | 130k | Explicit

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | Mature

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | Mature

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

Like a Bullet in the Dark by Vurdoc | 99k | Explicit

Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway.

With a promise from the press (and his father) that they'll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson.

Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- 'cause Harry has a secret that he's only told his sister Gemma about.

Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own.

A Will & Kate Au- with a twist.

Christmas-ing With You by dolce_piccante | 65k | Mature

Two writers from Loving Heart Television, the premiere network for holiday romance films, find that, sometimes, love is not only in their works of fiction.

Faking It by TheCellarDoor | 46k | Mature

A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice.

if the sun don't shine by falsegoodnight | 36k | Explicit

Louis finds himself struck frozen, fingers stuck in place where he’s flattened them against the cold railing. It takes every bit of his remaining strength to pull them away, sliding them under his shirt and pressing them to his stomach to leech some of the warmth. He hardly pays attention to the bite of the wind and air on his shivering body. He can only pay attention to the music.

The music that is undoubtedly new to Louis’ ears, yet listening to it is the most familiar thing Louis has ever experienced. An inexplicable rush of emotions flood his mind and body, rendering him speechless and hollow. It’s a call of loneliness. It rings of everything Louis’ been feeling.

And the pure yearning - the intense longing for something and someone - tears through straight to Louis’ heart. The desperation feels all too intimate, all too real. It makes Louis think of what he yearns for more than anything. It makes him think of his soulmate.

-

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

From the Start by allwaswell16 | 32k | Explicit

Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey | 24k | Explicit

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

In Dreams by dolce_piccante | 23k | Mature

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

You're Writing Verses About Me by Rearviewdreamer | 23k | Teen And Up Audiences

Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. His reputation around campus precedes him, which is why he doesn't think twice before proudly telling his mother about his new and completely fabricated relationship with his oddly quiet and completely

And I Will Hold On To You by darkmarkburning, staybeautiful | 23k | Mature

“I can’t believe my best friend is about to be Prime Minister of Canada,” Harry whispered in his ear, his arms tight around Louis’ shoulders. “Who decided it was a good idea to let some brash kid from Doncaster run a country?”

“I don’t know,” Louis laughed into his shoulder, “but if you promise not to tell them they’ve made a mistake I’ll give you a posh office.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Tomlinson.” Harry pulled away and smacked a kiss onto Louis’ cheek. “I’m proud of you, Lou, I can’t fucking believe it, but I’m proud of you.”

or Louis has just been elected Prime Minister of Canada and Harry is his best friend since childhood.

the way the storms blow by rbbsbb | 21k | Explicit

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor | 20k | Mature

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.

The Sex Methods by Alice_Novelland | 19k | Explicit

Harry and Louis explore alternative methods aka sex methods to help each other out.

once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature

This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”

Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

Oblivious by Speechless | 19k | Explicit

"You say it's nothing serious after you've been obsessing over it for months," Liam observes, pausing their videogame. "But now you barely talk about it-" "You guys fucking ignore me whenever I try!" Louis shouts, bumping his shoulder against Liam's and hurting himself in the process. "You're postponing sex, when it's obvious that Luke's up for it at this point." Liam ignores him. "For some reason you've left Harry in the dark about it-" "What?!" Louis snaps, banging his controller against the coffee table. "I have not!" "And no matter how blatant it is, no matter how fucking ridiculous you both get when it comes to it-" "Shut your hole." Louis urges, pinching his thigh, as soon as Harry enters the room. "Shush."

* Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird *

searching for a sweet surrender (but this is not the end) by feelslikehxme | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, the two most loved coaches on The Voice UK known for their banter on the show and best friendship off. Louis’s determined to win and finally end Harry’s winning streak with Zayn Malik on his team, but Harry’s flirting and Liam Payne have different plans.

— Or an AU based off the Voice where Louis’s Adam, Harry’s Blake, Niall’s Shakira, Zayn and Liam have a cliche Romeo/Juliet love story and Louis’s too old for pathetic pining.

Can I bother you for a sex? by perfectdagger (sincerelyste) | 16k | Explicit

Reason #40 – Called/texted the wrong person, but he was into it anyway

“So, this isn’t really an invite for a sex, I see,” Louis spoke, not missing the chance. There was a teasing smile on his lips as he turned around to face Harry again after he had just closed the door.

Harry let out a laugh as he closed his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh for fuck's sake, Louis,” he looked back at Louis, “this will haunt me forever now, won’t it?”

Louis shrugged. “Not my fault some people manage to mistext and sext others at the same time.”

When Harry mistexts Louis, Louis realises that he wouldn't mind Harry bothering him with anything, especially not with sex.

You'll Be Home For Christmas by 2tiedships2 | 15k | Not Rated

“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”

Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.

“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”

You're The One That I Want by spacecakesandmilkshakes | 15k | Explicit

Harry had always been Louis' best friend and...well...his baby, until one day he realized that his baby was all grown up.

show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney | 13k | Explicit

Louis laughed, the sound loud and borderline obnoxious. Harry winced. “Are you kidding, Haz? I wouldn’t even look twice at someone that couldn’t pick me up.”

And, well. That was new information to Harry. It’s not like Louis had ever mentioned to him that he was his type in any way, shape, or form. Harry shifted closer into the space between Louis’s legs, even more intrigued than before. “Why not?” he asked curiously, all pink lips and big curls. Louis smiled.

“Tiny, innocent, little Harold. Need someone that can pick me up, don’t I? I like being tossed around a little. You know, pinned down and made to take it. Lifted up like I’m nothing,” Louis said it all with a confident smile, his sharp little teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he locked eyes with the jock across the kitchen. “Think he might come over here. Move over. I don’t want him to think we’re together.”

Or, the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

when everybody wants you by nightwideopen | 11k | Mature

Harry nearly faints on the spot. He got the job. He’s going to be on Saturday Night Live.

Three of Harry's dreams come true, then one of them falls apart.

or

the SNL au that no one asked for

Shape of You by Only_angel_28 | 11k | Explicit

“Seriously?” Surely, Harry must be joking. Louis arches a skeptical brow and snaps the waistband of Harry’s joggers playfully. “What exactly do you have down there, Styles? I know you’ve got four nipples, d’ya have a couple extra bollocks as well or summat?”

“No!” Harry shrieks, his voice bordering on shrill. “No,” He repeats a little quieter, calmer, “I just—I’m, er, kinda…big, I guess.”

Louis rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. “That’s hardly a problem, curly.”

*Or Harry is insecure about a certain rather large part of his anatomy that is apparently intimidating to the point where it has actually scared off potential shags. When he ends up confessing this to his best friend and roommate, Louis takes it upon himself to prove that Harry’s size doesn't have to be a curse, and decides to help show him just how perfect he is.

Waiting by allwaswell16 for LadyLondonderry | 10k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.

You Give Me Fever (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by my_fandom_OTPs | 10k | Explicit

Louis walks in on Harry jerking off in the shower. What happens after is just… Impulsive and spontaneous.

the value of this moment lives in metaphor by clicheanna for hattalove | 10k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry are best friends and absolutely nothing more. It’s a bit strange that, suddenly, everyone thinks they’re dating.

Or the one where they’re all teachers at a high school and students are more invested in their lives than normally expected.

trusting things beyond mistake by sarcasticfluentry | 9k | Explicit

"Is that even possible?" asks Harry.

All of them stare at him for several seconds, and then Louis says, "What, coming untouched?"

"Christ," Zayn mutters, throwing his hands up. “This fucking band, I swear.”

...or, Harry wants to see if he can come without touching his cock and ends up getting more than he bargained for.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero | 9k | Explicit

All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'

They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38 | 8k | Mature

"So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Under that Damn Mistletoe by hickeystyles | 7k | Mature

Louis' heart froze when he looked over and saw Liam whispering in Harry’s ear and nodding towards the mistletoe. Louis’ eyes widened comically before he dove out of sight so Harry couldn’t see him standing under the mistletoe like an idiot, or worse, like he was part of Liam’s plan to have Harry kiss him.

Or a Christmas Party AU where Louis is in love with his best friend Harry and everyone else is trying to force the two of them under the mistletoe together

We Could Be A Dream by Bearandleonardwrite | 7k | Explicit

“So, I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before,” Harry says as he hands Louis his drink. “Who’re you here for?”

Well, shit. Louis was definitely not expecting that. He sips on his drink to give him a few moments to think of an answer and then, “Oh, y’know. I’m dating the host’s brother. What about you?” He’s quite pleased with himself. Great answer. He takes another drink as a reward.

Harry grins at him, eyes bright, and shrugs. “Gemma’s my sister.” Louis hums around the rim of his cup waiting for him to elaborate. “She’s the host,” he tacks on, smug smile on his face. Louis chokes on his drink and tries his best to glare at Harry while he coughs. Harry rubs at his back until he can breathe properly again, which is actually really not that helpful. “Didn’t realize we were dating, Lou. I’m flattered.”

(Basically; Louis meets Harry at a party that he wasn't invited to. He ends up asking Harry to tutor him so he can keep seeing him. Featuring a bit of pining and a tea party.)

Mission Fucking Impossible by orphan_account | 7k | Mature

“Are you and Louis fucking?”

Harry nearly spits out his drink as he tries to communicate a "what the ever living fuck" to Niall with his eyes.

Niall takes another casual sip of his beer “Not like I’m the only one thinking it mate, I’m just the only one saying it out loud.”

- Harry is in love with Louis, and he is almost positive Louis is in love with him too. Naturally, Harry deals with this by trying to get Louis horny and hope for the best.

Things don't exactly work out how he plans.

One day to believe in you by mediaville | 7k | Explicit

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it's really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. "You think about me when you get off?"

"Yes," Louis says. He wonders how hard he'd need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

"Often?"

"Yes, Christ, Harry," Louis groans. "Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I've been visiting family. Anything else you'd like to know?"

Fake It Till We Make It by whileatwiltshire | 7k | General Audiences

#33- Keeping up with the Neighbors

“We can fake it.”

What?

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No I did not. Say it again.”

“I said” Harry started slowly, “We can fake having sex to teach them a lesson.”

It was clear to say that Louis's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion.

Or ,

Their neighbours were a bit too loud during their bedroom activities and Harry comes up with the worst plan to shut them up. Louis agrees anyways.

Web Me Harder by iwillpaintasongforlou | 6k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson, otherwise known as London's masked hero Spiderman, finds himself crashing through the window of Harry Styles one night after a particularly nasty fight with a villain. Luckily Harry is a nursing student with a soft spot for caped crusaders who's more than happy to tend to all of Louis' wounds, no matter how many times he swings by.

candy in your mouth (i know you love me) by embodied | 6k | Explicit

“You’re wrong,” Harry says, jaw clenched tight. “Because if all I wanted was a fuck, I’ve got at least three willing parties a phone call and a five minute drive away. What I want is you. I want us, I want it to be normal again -”

“What the fuck is normal?” Louis yells, much too loudly, and has to pause to consciously lower his voice before he speaks again. “Because a year ago, normal was eating too much takeaway and watching B-movies on Netflix in your room, and then normal was me choking on your cock at half past two in the morning, and I don’t know about you, but as of the past few weeks, normal is not seeing or talking to you at all, because I’ve all but admitted that I’m fucking crazy for you and you don’t know what to say to that.” Louis’ chest heaves, his breath coming out short. He hears his own throat stick when he swallows, and his voice is decidedly weaker when he asks, “So which one is it, Harry?”

AU. Things have shifted since last Christmas.

Running Through a Cloud of Steam by allwaswell16 | 5k | Mature

As Harry’s long anticipated twenty-first birthday approaches, he anxiously awaits the moment when he finally meets his soulmate. He’s not even sure he believes in soulmates, but at the very least, he hopes to prove to his best friend that nothing can come between their friendship--not even a soulmate.

You Can't Blame Me For Tryin' by lululawrence | 5k | Mature

Reason # 38 - Because He Is From One of the Countries You Haven't Had Sex With a Person From Yet.

Louis had been accepted into the study abroad program through his uni back home and therefore got to spend a year in rural Minnesota, of all places, but he wasn’t going to complain. It was still a pretty cool experience, even if it was far different from what he had been expecting. And besides, if he’d been sent to literally any other university, he’d never have met Harry.

If It's Meant To Be (It'll Be, It'll Be) by lululawrence | 4k | Not Rated

“So, anyway. I’m done here and on my way to the airport. I think I’m expected to be there in the morning, around ten. I’ll let you know when I’m getting close.”

“Sounds good.” Harry pulled back from the window and threw himself onto one of the beds. Once he got comfortable, he steeled himself and then went for it. “It’s been too long this time, Lou,” he finally whispered. He watched as Louis bit his lip and nodded slowly.

“I know,” Louis agreed, just as quiet in return. “We have to swear to never go this long without seeing each other again. Two months is just...unacceptable. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll see you soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah. See you. Be safe,” Harry said, far too fondly for his best friend. He couldn’t help it though. It was how he always had been and probably always would be.

They hung up and Harry threw his arm over his face.

“I am so in love with him,” he whined to himself. “Fuck.”

Satisfaction by iwillpaintasongforlou | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry have known each other since before they could remember and been in love with one another for about as long, even though both steadfastly refuse to admit it. When Louis starts dating other people, it is only to help himself move on and not at all to make Harry jealous. And the sulking sort of anger Harry feels when he watches Louis kiss other people is completely irrelevant anyways.

[atlafan]

The Boys Next Door

a/n: I have no idea where this came from. enjoy some smut and some other college!Harry. 

You lived in a college town, and your parents were landlords for many college students. They owned a few different properties along one of the street close to campus. You were twenty-one and going into your senior year. You didn’t mind going to school where you grew up. You went somewhere else your first year, just to get out of town for a while, but eventually coming home was the best choice. Plus, you got to live off campus in one of your parent’s apartments with your friends. You were having a great time.

They wanted to go on vacation, do a little traveling this summer, so they put you in charge of one of their smaller properties. The home you were in this summer was converted into two apartments, side by side. Your parents had someone else to run the larger properties, but they had a great deal of trust in you. You happily accepted, especially since you could take a cut of the rent as pay. You also weren’t too upset because the boys moving in next door were really cute. Soon to be seniors as well. They were international students, and as much as they liked going home, they were still college students. It was easier to save up the airfare for the holidays, rather than to fly home for the summer.

You’d be in your apartment alone. Your friends all had to go home to their families and jobs, not that you minded. You loved being crazy with them, but the alone time would be great. You put the keys to the other apartment outside under the mat, and emailed them to let them know. You also left instructions on rules for living there. Your parents weren’t in the business of dealing with idiots.

It was a beautiful day out, so you decide to set up the small inflatable pool out back, and throw on a two piece to sunbathe in. You get your lawn chair, put some sunscreen on, and dip your feet into the pool. You crack a hard seltzer open and throw your shades on. You sigh with happiness and relaxation.

The boys, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, and Louis Tomlinson, all show up to the apartment. They find the keys and head inside. They get all their things moved in and wheel their grill out back. There was no fence between the two sides, but it was still clear that it wasn’t an overly shared space.

“Oh shit!” Niall says, pointing to you. “Is that our landlord?”

“I think so.” Louis says.

“We should go introduce ourselves then.” Harry says. “After all, she could be hungry for somethin’ off the grill.”

The three walk over to you. You had your headphones in and you had fallen asleep.

“Excuse us.” Louis says. You don’t move. “Think she’s asleep…”

Harry rolls his eyes and nudges your shoulder.

“Huh?!” Your eyes snap open and you flinch when you see three very good looking men standing above you. “Um…can I help you?” You stand up and look for your cover up, but you never brought it out. Your two piece was strapless, and a little revealing.

“Sorry to wake yeh, I’m Harry.” You shake his hand. “This is Niall and Louis, we’re your tenants.”

“Oh!” You laugh. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys. I’ve seen you around though, you’re all on the soccer team, right?”

“That’s right.” Niall says.

“We were just about to fire up the grill, wanna join?” Louis asks.

“Sure! I actually have some fresh lemonade in the fridge inside, I’ll bring it over.”

“Sounds good.” Harry says.

They go back over to the grill and you go inside. You grab a large t-shirt to throw on, and the jug of lemonade out of the fridge. You grab some solo cups as well, and you head over to their side.

“I don’t wanna be a Debby Downer, but my parents wanted me to remind you guys that you’re getting a discounted rate because you agreed to mow the lawn, and shovel once winter comes. Everything you need is in the shed.” You point to it. “The keys for it are inside a combination box. The combo’s on the paper I left in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, yeah, we found that. No worries, the lawn will look perfect.” Niall assures you and you smile at him.

“Any other official business? I’d like to add some vodka to this lemonade.” Harry says, shaking the cold bottle in his hand.

“Nope, that’s it for now. Please, make the drinks.” You say.

“What can I make yeh, love?” Louis asks.

“I’d love a cheeseburger, please and thank you.” He nods to you and Harry hands you your drink. “Thanks.”

“So, you’re all alone in there this summer?” Niall asks.

“Mhm. My friends will come up for a weekend here and there, but I don’t mind it. This is my favorite apartment of the ones my parents own, I’m excited to be alone in it for a bit.”

“Well, if you ever get lonely, just give us a call.” Harry winks and you blush as you bite the rim of your cup.

You all enjoy mini BBQ and get to know each other more. You all talk about your majors and how excited you all were to be seniors.

“We’re gonna head down to the pub later if you’d like to join us.” Niall says.

“That sounds great!”

“What’s your number, we can text you when we’re ready.” Harry says. You hand him your phone and he puts his number in.

You head into your apartment to shower and wash all the sunscreen off. You throw on a crop top and pair of shorts, and do your make up. Harry texts you when it’s time, and you walk downtown with them to the bar. You all find a booth, and he happens to be the one to sit next to you. Niall grabs the first round of beers.

“What do I owe you?”

“As if I would ever make a girl pay for her drinks.” Niall scoffs. “You don’t ever have to worry about that with us, Y/N.”

“Oh! That’s really nice of you.”

You all clink your glasses, and take a swig of your drinks. They ask you questions about what it was like growing up in the area, and you talk about what’s changed and what’s stayed the same. Eventually, you get a pretty good buzz going, and it makes you want to dance to the music playing. There were plenty of people out on the dance floor already.

“Do you guys wanna dance?”

“Sure!” They all say at the same time.

The four of you make your way to the dance floor, and you start dancing. You all giggle and have a great time. You got a little more drunk than you thought, and it hit you like a ton of bricks when you left the bar at closing.

“I’ll never understand how these places close at one in the morning. We’d just be gettin’ started back home.” Louis laughs.

Harry looks at you and sees you sort of struggling to walk.

“Want a piggy back ride?” He offers.

“Seriously?” You slur.

“Sure, come on.”

You hope onto his back and you giggle as your eyes start to droop. Yup, way too drunk.

“M’just gonna get her settled, I’ll be home in a minute.” He tells the two of them as he takes your key.

“My room’s upstairs.” You mumble and he hums his response. He pushes the door open and sets you down on your bed.

“Thanks.” You smile at him. “Tonight was fun. This’ll be a great summer.” You yawn.

“Yeah, it will be.”

Harry goes down to your kitchen to get you a glass of water. When he returns you’re passed out on your stomach. He leaves the water on your nightstand, and heads out. Niall and Louis were on the couch, eating some cold pizza, when he got back.

“She alright?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, passed out already. I left her some water.” Harry grabs a slice of pizza and sits down with them. “She’s cute, I like her.” He says with a full mouth.

“You should ask her out then.” Niall says. “She’s a lot of fun so far.”

“Too soon for that. I need to play it cool.”

“You’re too shy for your own good.” Louis says.

//

You spend a lot of time with the guys over the next couple of weeks. You go out with them to the bar quite a bit, and you all share many meals. Your favorite thing to do was happen to be outside when Harry mowed the lawn. He would do it shirtless, and he loved when you’d bring him out something cold to drink. You also liked watching them get into little games of soccer.

Sometimes at night you would go over there and watch them play video games, or maybe they’d come over to watch a movie. You found yourself to have gotten the closest with Harry.

Harry: too hot in my room…2:02AM

You: no fan? 2:10AM

Harry: it broke :( 2:12AM

You: I have ac…2:13AM

Harry: is that an invitation? ;p 2:14AM

You: if you want it to be ;p 2:15AM

You slip out of bed, and stop to look at yourself in the mirror. You usually slept naked…you sigh and throw on a large bed shirt, but that’s it. It covered everything just fine. You go downstairs and open the back door for Harry. He was only wearing shorts.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“Hi.” You smile back. “What are Niall and Louis doing?”

“Oh, both of their fans work just fine. I’ve been too lazy to go to the store, but I suppose suffering in sweat just isn’t worth it anymore.”

“Well, my room’s nice and cool, so come on up.”

You and Harry go up the stairs up to your room, and you close the door behind you.

“Oh my god.” He moans as he stands in front of the A/C. “Now this is livin’.” You can’t help but giggle at him. He watches as you reach into your dresser for a pair of shorts. You wiggle them up your body. “Were you not wearin’ anything under that before?”

“Nope.” You grin and sit on your bed. You pat the spot next to you.

“I can just sleep on the floor…”

“Don’t be silly, bed’s plenty big for the both of us.”

He nods and gets on with you. You both lay and face each other.

“Comfy.” He says.

“Mhm.” You push some hair away from his face. “You have nicest hair, have I ever told you that?”

“No. In fact, you could stand to compliment me a lot more.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm. It’s the least you could do in exchange for all the free alcohol we give yeh.”

“Very true, okay, well, I also like your tattoos.” Your fingertips lightly graze his arm.

“You do?”

“Yeah, they’re cool.”

“What else do you like about me?” His leg gentle slides between yours.

“You have a great sense of humor, and you’re just really nice.”

“You’re nice too, and you’re really pretty.” Your cheeks flush, you were thankful it was dark. His leg inches up a little further between yours. “Sexy, actually.”

“God, I think you’re hot as fuck, Harry.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.” You adjust yourself on his leg, and move closer to him, your faces only inches apart now.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

He cups your cheek and pulls you into him, his mouth slotting over yours. Your eyes flutter closed as you sink further into the kiss. You open your mouth for him and he doesn’t waste any time getting his tongue on yours. You groan against him, and grind yourself on his thigh.

“I wanna fuck you so bad.” He groans.

“Okay.”

“What?” He pulls away. “Really? Just like that?”

“Sure, why not? I want it, can’t you tell?”

“Sometimes it’s not about bein’ able to tell…you wanna have sex with me?”

“Yes, I do.” You turn and reach into your night table to grab a condom. You place it on top of the table for when you need it. “I’m on the pill too, but I think using a condom is for the best.”

“Agreed.”

He moves to hover over you, and starts kissing you again.

“How long, ngh, how long have you wanted to fuck me for?”

“Since we met.” He mumbles as he starts to suck on your neck.

“Fuck, why didn’t you?”

“I was tryin’ to play it cool.” He chuckles against you.

He motions to have you sit up to take your shirt off, and he marvels at your breasts. He cups both of them in his large hands. He tweaks your nipples and leans in to suck on one of them. Your head rolls back as he kneads the other one.

“Harry…I wanna, I want you to…”

“Need my mouth somewhere else, angel?”

“Please.”

He gets between your legs and tugs your shorts down. You were glistening. He licks his lips and dives in. He licks a flat stripe from your center up to your clit, and circles the tip of his tongue around you before sucking on it. You gasp when he does so, and your hands fly to his hair to grip on. Your hips buck up when you feel two of his fingers slip inside you. He pumps in and out as he continues to work your clit with his mouth. You were panting, your body had never felt so good before.

“Holy fuck! Oh my god, don’t stop, Harry!” You moan out.

He pumps fast, brushing your g-spot. It was all too much, and you release around his fingers. He retracts them sucks them into his mouth.

“Tastes even better than I thought it would.”

“Get the condom on, now.”

He smirks and grabs the foil packet. He gets it open with his teeth, slides his shorts down. His hard clock slaps against his stomach and your jaw drops.

“Oh my god.” You say under your breath. “Harry, you’re so…big.”

“I know.” He mumbles as he slides the condom down his shaft. “Don’t be nervous, I won’t hurt you.”

“M’not worried about that.”

He leans in and lines himself up with you and slowly pushes inside. Your head rolls back into the pillow as you feel him stretch you out. Your nails press into his shoulders. Once he’s all the way in he gives you some time to adjust.

“Alright?”

“Mhm, you can move.”

He starts with slow thrusts, rocking in and out of you. You can’t help the moans that leave your lips. You had never felt so good before. You wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

“Go harder, Harry. I want you to make the bed shake.”

“Fuck.” He groans, and does as you say.

He grips your legs and puts them over his shoulders. He thrusts in hard and fast, and the bed does start to shake. His thumb finds your clit, and he rubs it furiously.

“Fuck, oh fuck, that’s it, oh my god!” He had you screaming. “Harry!” You cry out as you come around his cock.

He fucks you through it and comes to his own release, spilling into the condom. He collapses on top of you, and you kiss his neck over and over. He pulls himself up and gives you a kiss on the lips before pulling out.

“Where’s your trash, angel?”

“In that corner, next to my desk.”

He hums his response and gets up to throw it out. He hears you get off the bed and turns to look at you.

“Just going to use the bathroom, get comfy.” You smile.

He gets back on your bed and waits for you. When you come back you don’t even both with a shirt.

“I like to sleep naked, that okay?”

“You don’t see me wearin’ anything do you?” He smirks.

You get on the bed and lay your head on his chest. He puts his arm around you and rubs your back.

“That was, uh, really something.”

“Felt good?”

“Really good.”

“You took it really well. You were so wet, felt good for me too.” He kisses your hair line.

“You can come here to beat the heat any time you want.”

[falsegoodnight]

i wrote a lot more this year than i intended to so i figured i might as well collect everything in one place for reader convenience! so here’s everything i posted in 2020! ☽༓･*˚⁺‧

MARCH ~

✰ Don’t Let It (Me) Break

  E | 169k | please read tags | dual pov

The one where Harry is oblivious, Louis is broken, Zayn and Liam are in love, and Niall is just waiting for everyone to get their shit together.

And it’s all Malcolm’s fault.

APRIL ~

✰ my love’s not simple (it’s fragile) 

 E | 28k | a/b/o | college au | harry pov | fic post 

Harry’s new job is threatened by his impending rut. Desperate for a solution, he allows Niall to introduce him to Louis, an omega whose heat begins the same day. They click.

MAY ~

✰ before we knew 

 E | 40k | soulmate au | louis pov | fic post

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed onto his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

JUNE ~

✰ in a world alone 

 E | 51k | a/b/o | swan lake au | harry pov | fic post

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.

And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

✰ move so pretty (you’re all i see) 

 E | 11k | pwp | harry pov | fic post

Harry’s pretty content with his life. He loves his job: a veterinarian at a local clinic who’s already built up a name for himself despite his young age. He loves his gorgeous flat with its wide, open space and minimalistic, yet still homey feel. He loves his family who he talks to and visits as much as possible, not bothered by the long hours of driving to Holmes Chapel from London he endures multiple times a month. He loves his friends and his coworkers and his neighbors- especially Allison, the little old lady next door who brings him and Louis cookies on holidays and who always comments on how “strong and handsome you are, Mr. Styles,” every time he sees her.

And most importantly, he loves Louis, just - maybe in a slightly different way.

JULY ~

✰ sleeping on our problems 

 E |  67k | a/b/o | mpreg college au | louis pov | fic post

Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about. 

✰ at your fingertips 

 E | 27k | pwp-ish | calm au | louis pov | fic post

Louis really should have seen it coming. 

AUGUST ~

✰ bruise you like a peach 

 E | 41k | pwp | college au | harry pov | fic post

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

✰ call you mine 

 E | 13k | pwp | love bites series | harry pov | fic post

Louis’ curious about how it feels to be bitten. Harry’s going to need more than just one bite.

✰ thinking about peaches 

 E | 24k | pwp | harry pov | fic post | drabble index

Eight smutty drabbles following the events of bruise you like a peach.

SEPTEMBER ~

✰ give me love 

 E | 41k | a/b/o | louis pov | fic post

 *co-written with @soldouthaz​​

Louis doesn’t feel like a good omega, Harry doesn’t remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

✰ works like a charm

 E | 18k | hogwarts au | louis pov | fic post

Ever since Louis joined the team in fifth year, a few facts have become set in stone.

One: Louis is the best chaser in Hogwarts.

Two: Harry is the best beater in Hogwarts.

Three: They do not get along.

So it’s really unfair of Liam to think that forcing them to spend time together as Louis recovers from his injury will make them the best of friends. The last thing Louis would do is get along with that git.

✰ there’s nothing like it (nothing at all) 

 E | 15k | a/b/o | harry pov | fic post

*sequel to my love’s not simple (it’s fragile) 

Harry isn’t ready for things to change, and the end is just the beginning. 

OCTOBER ~

✰ just a flicker in the dark 

 E | 57k | paranormal mystery | louis pov | fic post

Louis is a struggling witch desperate to prove himself after yet another magic disaster and finds a calling in the haunted house of client Niall Horan. Things get more complicated when he’s assigned a case partner: acclaimed medium and ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles.

NOVEMBER ~

✰ even the best laid plans 

 E | 25k | a/b/o | pwp | college au | louis pov | fic post

Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

✰ sweet like honey 

 E | 33k | college au | harry pov | fic post

Harry and Louis need money and they find an unconventional solution in the form of PornHub. It’s not supposed to be a big deal.

and there we have it! all sixteen fics i posted this year! if you check any of them out, please consider commenting, reblogging/retweeting, and telling my your thoughts in some form! 

i’m excited to see what comes next in 2021 and to make more of these yearly masterposts in the future :)

find my regularly updated fic masterpost here

and wips here

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

13,16,22 with josty?? The physical affection prompt! im so sowie my bad

13: kissing someone’s forehead, 16: kissing knuckles, 22: kissing someone’s cut/bruises/scratches / information on requesting + prompt lists

Hockey was a hard hitting sport and you knew that. You knew to expect the occasional bruise and maybe a missing tooth, but still you worried and it was that worry that had you biting your lip tightly as you watched your boyfriend skate around the ice in a face paced, back and forth game against St. Louis. 

Apparently, your worry was for good cause, because towards the end of the third period, Avs up one goal and holding onto that lead with everything they had, that a Blues opponent decided they had enough and dropped the gloves against Tyson. 

You jumped to your feet to cheer for him, trying your best to act like your worry wasn't eating you up inside and play the role of supportive significant other. But Tyson wasn’t a fighter, a fact that you loved about him, and the other guy was much bigger. 

You winced with every punch that was thrown, lip trap between your teeth to the point where you were certain that if you didn’t get a grip you’d drawn blood soon. Tyson’s jersey was being tugged nearly up and over his head, but in a stroke luck, the other guy tripped over his own skate and Tyson was able to get him to the ice. A sigh of relief fell past your lips as the refs jumped on the two men to get them to stop fighting, and you burned holes into the back of Tyson’s head as he was taken to the box. 

At least the boys on the bench were going crazy for Tyson’s fight. 

By the time the game ended—Tyson’s fight giving the team the energy it needed to hold onto the lead—you were less worried about your boyfriend and more annoyed at the stress he put you through. 

You were chatting with Mel and a few of the other girls when the boys slowly started to emerge from the locker room after their respective media scrums. When Tyson exited the locker room, flanked by JT and Erik, he was smiling bashfully, no doubt aware of how he had worried you so. 

“Uh-oh, someone’s in the doghouse.” EJ jeered playfully, knowing you and Tyson and how great you worked together well enough to know that you weren’t actually mad at Tyson. You rolled your eyes at the blond, opting to ignore him and slip your hand into your boyfriend’s. 

“C’mon, Rocky, let’s get you home.” You sighed, tugging him in the direction of the exit and he went willingly. You chatted with him about your day and his, what the boys had planned for their next road trip, just about everything other than the fact that he had just gotten in a fight for the first time since you had been dating. 

It was only when you were back at his apartment, you moving through his kitchen to find a snack while he changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, that he cleared his throat to address the elephant in the room. 

“You’re not... mad, are you?” He asked, unsure of himself and how to handle the situation. You sighed, abandoning your search of his borderline empty cupboards to push yourself onto the counter and make grabby hands in his direction. He complied easily, crossing the kitchen to stand between your knees while you held his face in your hands and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead to soothe his thoughts. 

“I just was worried.” You said quietly. You ran your hands across his broad shoulders and down his arms, grabbing one of his hands in both of yours. You inspected it, seeing the bruises and broken skin on his knuckles from where he had punched the other guy’s helmet a few times. Pressing a kiss to his minor injuries, you mumbled against his skin; “I don’t like see you get hurt.”

Tyson flipped the script then, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss to each one of your fingers. You smiled then, a tiny smile, but Tyson took it and grinned at the simple action. 

“I promise I’m not hurt. I’m tougher than I look.” He told you, his trademarked goofy grin on his face forcing you to let out a breathy chuckle at him. He worried you, yes, but he also could make you laugh and relax by doing nothing more than just being himself. 

“Don’t let it happen again, Jost.” You teasingly threatened, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him in close and finally connect your lips in a kiss. It wasn’t anything heated or charged, but a kiss to let him know that you were better and that he didn’t have to keep sucking up. It lasted only a few seconds and when you pulled back, you were met with a sly grin. 

“So,” He started, giving you a mischievous look and wiggling his brows suggestively. “Did you think it was hot?”