#louden swain fanart

[electromignion]

Bridgewater “inktober” 5: Tea 🍵

Here’s Jeremy Bradshaw enjoying his tea!! Probably in the morning before going to work (as his teabag says good morning 🫶) 🤧 I don’t know why today I had a vision being: Jeremy wearing a turtleneck jumper and what was a 15 min quick sketch for the flat colours became a 4 hours drawing bdbdjdjd

I still headcanon Jeremy as not liking things being tight around his neck because of sensory issues, so to me it’s because our guy is cold with a beginning of sore throat, and also that the neck part is quite loose so not fully against his skin (I feel him a lot)

I did the design of the mug inspired by the Bridgewater official merch both the hitchhiking pin and also the blue purplish forest one, and added cryptids to the design and the Bridgewater lettering! And yes this is another mug from the huge mug collection Jeremy has, I think he might’ve bought this one himself, thinking it was funny enough

And also previous headcanons are there like the aroace bracelet that I want to believe that Anne was the one who gave it to him; and also the old piercing mark on his lobe as when he was a teenager/young adult he had piercings for his rebel era against his step father and his mother’s choices (cf previous drawings I did of young!Jeremy). Once again, thanks a LOT to @rockinglibra for the prompt list I appreciate it a lot 💜

[alexiescherryslurpy]

A recent simple digital drawing of Rob Benedict

I say ‘simple’ but this took some time , I’ve been trying to improve my line work so it was layers of sketches each getting slightly neater as it progressed and erasing unnecessary complexity

[natasha-cole]

1. Amazing

2. Ready Steady

3. She Waits

4. Better

5. Honey Bee

[crushing83]

Two more veggies for the collection. Matt Corn-en and Ruthie Red Hot.

Now, I’ve got to decide on some other characters... it’s getting haaaarder to match people to veggies.

[atc74]

Honey Bee

Square(s) Filled: Michael!Dean for @heavenandhellbingo and Angst to Fluff for @spngenrebingo

Warnings: Slight canon divergence, Daddy!Dean, angel possession, threats to loved ones, Dean giving up, perseverance, loved ones never giving up, fluff. It’ll hit you in the feels. 

Summary: Michael has taken over Dean’s mind and body, but Dean makes a deal to let him spend one last day with his family, so he can be there for his daughter on her big day. 

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Dean, Michael!Dean, Reader, Sam, Audrey Winchester (daughter OC)

Word Count: 1595

Written for: @heavenandhellbingo, @spngenrebingo, and @mrswhozeewhatsis​ 2019  Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Project

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches, thank you for always being there when I need you, in more ways than one! Also a huge thanks and much love to my beautiful Boo, @iwantthedean​, for reading this over and boosting my confidence. Love you both to the moon!

A/N: I was taking a much needed break from cleaning this morning when Honey Bee started playing. While I love this song and have heard it a hundred times (or more), I took a moment to let the lyrics wash over me. 

As often happens, scenes flashed before my eyes and I knew this would make a terrific Daddy!Dean piece with the feels we didn’t know we needed. Sacrifice is not out of character for our fearless hunter, and I expect his child to fight as fearlessly as her Daddy.

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

“No! I am not walking down that aisle until my dad gets here!” Audrey shouted, startling her mother and Uncle Sam with her outburst. “He promised he’d be here and he hasn’t broken a promise to me yet. Not once!” 

“I know, baby. I know,” Y/N sighed, pulling her daughter into a tight embrace. 

The last few weeks had been hard on everyone, but especially on Audrey. Her wedding was the next day and her dad, Dean, was currently in parts unknown, possessed by the archangel Michael. 

~*~

“Daddy, don’t do this!” Audrey begged of her father as he faced off against the archangel. 

“Honey Bee, it’s the only way to defeat Lucifer,” Dean pulled her into his arms. “I’ll be back soon. I won’t miss it, I promise. You’re going to be the most beautiful bride.” 

“Daddy,” she cried, her head buried in the crook of his neck while he held her. 

~*~

It was dark, trapped in his own mind while the archangel went about experimenting and burning through monsters. 

“Let me out!” Dean screamed, banging his fists on the cage he was locked inside. 

“Not yet, Dean. I’ve got some business I need to take care of,” Michael tsked as he watched the vampire perish. “Too much grace I guess.” 

“Please, just let me go see my daughter. Then I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll be quiet if you just give me a day with her. Just one day. Please?” Dean begged from the recess of his cage. 

“Oh yes. Your little honey bee is to be wed, if I recall from your memories. She is a very pretty girl, Dean. I’m sure she’ll be very happy to see me there,” Michael chuckled as he went deep into Dean’s mind. 

~*~

“Daddy!” Audrey’s voice rang through the upper floors of Bobby’s house. Dean bound from his bed down the hall to her room. 

“Audrey, what’s wrong?” Dean burst into her room, the nightlight, combined with the dawn, casting shadows about the room. 

“The shadow man is here, Daddy,” she whimpered, crawling into Dean’s lap as he sat on the edge of her bed. 

“Shhh, Honey Bee, it’s okay. Daddy’s the only one here. There isn’t anyone else, even the shadow man,” Dean cooed softly, holding her head and rocking back and forth. “Let’s have some water, that usually does the trick, huh, Bee.” 

Y/N stood in the doorway, watching her husband and daughter. Within minutes, Audrey was sound asleep in his arms. He gently laid her down under the covers and walked over to his wife. 

“The shadow man?” she whispered

“Yeah, that’s the third time this month. I’m going to have Sammy check into it, but I’m sure it’s nothing. Just her imagination and the shadows playing tricks on it,” Dean kissed her, pulling her back down the hall to their room. “Let’s get a couple more hours, huh?”

~*~

“Your little honey bee is a special one, Dean,” Michael taunted. “I’ve got plans for her as well.” 

“You leave my family the hell alone! You’ve got me, you don’t need them!” Dean shouted. 

“Oh, Dean. How else will I get you to behave?” Michael laughed. 

“Give me one day with them, this Saturday, then you can have control back and I’ll do whatever the hell you want. Just give me twenty four hours, then you win,” Dean begged. 

“Twenty four hours, then you’re mine forever, Dean. But if you trick me, I will end them. All of them while I make you watch,” Michael laughed, locking Dean away once more. 

~*~

“Daddy! Look at me!” A three-year-old Audrey buzzed around the library, half dancing, half jumping in her bee costume. “I’m a honey bee!” 

“You are the cutest little honey bee that ever was, Bee!” Dean picked her up in his arms, tickling her as she squirmed. 

“Daddy, stop!” Audrey giggled, but she wrapped her hand tightly around her father’s neck. 

He tucked her into bed later that night, still wearing her yellow and black tutu. “I love you, Honey Bee.” 

“Love you too, Daddy,” Audrey yawned, her little fists rubbing tired eyes. “Don’t forget the nightlight.” 

“Never, Bee,” Dean promised, flipping the bee nightlight on as he exited her room. He turned back to see her snuggled up with her blanket.

Dean tried to remember back to a time before Y/N, before Audrey. And, for the life of him, he couldn’t recall what life was like without them and he knew now it didn’t matter. They were all that mattered to him. His girls and his brother and his baby. That was all he needed, all of them safe and sound. 

~*~

Dean woke suddenly at the world shifted around him. He was standing in front of the Bunker, still dressed in Michael’s stuffy clothes. 

“Twenty four hours, starting now, Dean. Don’t make me regret this, because if you do, the last thing you’ll see will be the mangled bodies of your family while the world burns around them. Do I make myself clear?” Michael preached inside his mind. 

“Crystal. Now leave me the hell alone, douchebag,” Dean commanded, knocking on the iron door. He composed himself as he waited. It felt like minutes had passed until he heard the slide of the heavy lock on the other side. The door swung open and he was greeted with a pistol and an angel blade, and his brother. “Hi ya, Sammy.”

“Dean?” Sam gasped, pulling his brother into a tight embrace. He didn’t know how, but he knew it was Dean, not Michael, despite the way he was dressed. “How? When? What are you doing here?”

“I made a deal for twenty four hours. I need to be here Sammy, then I gotta let him take me back,” Dean admitted, his face pinched at the thought of never seeing his family again, even if it meant they would be safe from Michael’s wrath.

“We’ll find a way, Dean,” Sam vowed. 

“No. If he thinks I’ve tricked him, he’ll kill all of you. And, I can’t have that. It’s better this way, Sammy,” Dean explained. 

“Better for who? Us or him?” The mumble carried up the staircase to Dean’s ears. 

“Y/N? God, you’re a sight for sore eyes, Sweetheart,” Dean beamed, seeing his wife for the first time in weeks. His long legs carried him down to her in seconds, reaching out his arms for her. 

“Don’t you ‘Sweetheart’ me, Winchester!” she shouted, poking him in the chest. 

“Ow!” Dean flinched. She always was stronger than she looked. 

“You think we’re just going to let you go without a fight? We’ve been looking everywhere for you, for any sign of you! And, you just show up here like it’s no big deal!” Y/N continued shouting at him. 

“I know, okay! I’ve done everything I can think of, this is the only way!” Dean retorted, ripping the stupid hat off his head. 

“There is always another way, Dean. You taught me that, now you’re ready to give up?” Y/N took a step forward, shoving him back again. 

Dean’s eyes flashed blue and he spoke. “Y/N, it’s a pleasure to see you in the flesh. You’re quite lovely. Now, I made Dean here a deal and I will keep my end of it if he does. I let him out for twenty hour...twenty three hours and fifty minutes, and then he comes crawling back to me. No tricks, no traps, and you all live. If you attempt to free him, I will kill each of you slowly with his hands. Do you understand me?” 

“Michael, I’ll kill you myself you son of a bitch!” Y/N screamed and lunged for the angel, but Sam held her back. 

“No!” Audrey shouted from the library. All heads turned to her, glowing in her white gown. “Dad made his deal, mom, and we’ll have to live with that. If I can only get one day, I’ll take it.” 

“Baby…” Y/N started.

“No, mom. It’s okay. Michael, please leave now. You’ll get him back in one piece, you have my word. Just let me have my dad, okay?” Audrey approached the angel, eyeing him carefully.  

“Your father is right, Audrey. You are a most beautiful bride,” he uttered, then his eyes flashed blue once more. “Daddy?”

“Honey Bee?” Dean staggered toward her, her arms wrapping tight as he fell into them. “I said I’d be here didn’t I?”

“You never break your promises, Daddy,” she cried, her head buried into the crook of his neck while they held each other. 

“Bee, it’s your wedding day, archangels couldn’t keep me away,” Dean chuckled through his poor attempt at humor. “Hang on my love, time’s running out. We’ll cherish the day, that’s what your life is about now. Hang on to him, Bee. Don’t ever let go.” 

“I won’t, Daddy. You taught me how to love and how to fight and I will,” Audrey vowed. 

“A brand new world awaits you, but you waited for me,” Dean marveled. “Thank you, Honey Bee. Now let’s go get you hitched.” 

Michael sat back and watched the ceremony, bored and disgusted with all the love choking his meatsuit. He kicked back and closed his eyes, waiting for Dean’s time to expire. He drifted back to simpler times, when the other world was his. 

A soft buzzing stirred inside his mind, rousing him from his slumber. Dazed by the sound, he inspected his surroundings. He found himself trapped in a warded steel box, and surrounded by millions of honey bees.

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The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean​ @dolphincliffs​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @meganwinchester1999​ @cherrycokegirls1​ @closetspngirl​  @roxyspearing​ @flamencodiva​ @blacktithe7​ @sis-tafics​ @just-another-busyfangirl​ @evansrogerskitten​ @amanda-teaches​ @hannahindie​ @wotinspntarnation​ @winchesterprincessbride​ @winecatsandpizza​ @kickingitwithkirk​  @wi-deangirl77​ @hobby27​ @mogaruke​ @gh0stgurl​ @paintrider13-blog​ @hunterscabin @alleiradayne​ @idreamofplaid​ @seenashwrite​ @crashdevlin​

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @maddiepants​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @mtngirlforever​ @supernatural-jackles​​

[winchestergirl-13]

Something To Say

@mrswhozeewhatsis Louden Swain Book

Prompt: “Something To Say”

Pairing: Chuck x Reader

Warning: a lot of angst and then fluff. I can’t seem to not write angst without ending it with fluff.

Word Count: 2456

A/N, Summary: So this one was a bit of a doozy trying to find the write things to say and character. Chuck kept popping back into my mind so I wrote it for him. I kept thinking about what would have happened had there been someone he cared for, but he lied to her from the beginning and then it all went downhill. That’s where this came from. Hope you all like it.

*

Chuck Shurley was a man of many talents, He was God after all. He could write, sing, play guitar, cook, and make a convincing Prophet of the Lord. But his biggest talent was one he'd rather not have-breaking hearts. Becky was, well, she got over it pretty fast. But when he went into hiding, his other girl/boyfriends, they all took it differently. Most he actually made them forget about him because it was easier that way. But there was one person who no matter what he did, no matter the lies, she still held a place in his heart, and it hurt him the most to break up with her. (Y/N) (L/N), best friend and honorary sister to Sam and Dean, and the one he loved most.

Dancing with fate

he's late when they ring the bell

Bow tie won't lie

he's gonna have to do it himself

One of his favorite memories with her was their first date. Back when she didn't know him as God, but rather Chuck Shurley, fiction writer. It was fate (really it was him) when they crossed paths and started going out. But this was an official date and he was nervous. As he was finishing getting ready, his doorbell rang.

“One second!” he called out, trying and failing to tie his bow tie. He has to get it right himself, but it looks like he might just forget about it. Chuck made his way to the door and when he opened it, there stood (Y/N) in a lovely (fav. Color) sundress. Her hair was pulled to one side in a braid and she looked beautiful. While he looked like a mess as his shirt was wrinkled a little trying to get his tie to cooperate.

“H-Hi (Y/N). Sorry, I was having trouble with the tie,” he stated sheepishly, a small blush working its way onto his cheeks.

She just giggled and took a hold of his tie. “Here, let me help you.” And in no time, she had fixed his tie and it looked perfect. “There you go.”

Still blushing, he rubbed the back of his neck and replied with a soft, “Thanks.” After locking his door, the two of them made their way to the fairgrounds for a picnic date. The first of many wonderful dates before she found out his secret.

He's not one to listen

Truth is his religion

Opens the door,

foot on the floor

And he's got something to say

As Chuck reminisced about past memories, he couldn't help but think, would things have been different had he just listened? (y/N) wasn't one to get preachy, but when she had something to say, there was no stopping her. But he never truly listened to her. When he finally told her the truth, they had argued for what seemed like hours about truth and lying. How she never lied to him (even if she had, he'd know) and how could he think to keep this from her and so on and so forth.

It got to the point where she literally packed up her things and was about to make her way out the door. She had her foot out the door when he called out to her.

“I never wanted to hurt you. You were and always will be the one person I loved the most. I know that if you leave now, you won't come back, and I won't stop you. Just know that I truly do care about you and I am so sorry for having kept this from you. I don't ask that you forgive me, I just ask that one day, you'll understand why I did.”

(Y/N) stopped, turned around, and sat her bags down. Making her way over to Chuck, she gave him one last hug and left without another word. He wouldn't see her again for a few years (he did check on her once in a while, but never made himself known to her) and when they did reconnect, the feelings of love were still there, but so was the pain and sadness. Don't' ask her why the sky is bluer in Bell Air

Castle afloat,

the moat ensures you won't get her there

People stare

The whole issue with Amara was taking up most of (Y/N)'s time, so she wasn't focused on Chuck. And then there was the whole “Lucifer possessing Castiel's vessel and having a heart-to-heart with Chuck that didn't end so well” topic that she tried to avoid the outcome of. But when it didn't work for God and His own son, why did her “brothers” think it would work for her and him?

“You're joking right? If it didn't work for Chuck and Lucifer, why do you think it'll work for me?” she asked, in complete disbelief.

Sam sighed. Honestly, he didn't know why Dean even suggested it. It was like asking them why the sky is bluer in Bel Air or something. Honestly, he couldn't bear to see the two of them dancing around each other anymore. It's obvious there's still some feelings for one another, but the guilt and anger are still present. “If I'm being honest, I don't know. But Dean and I can see that the two of you still harbor feelings for each other and it might be good to just talk it out, or yell, or whatever needs to be done. Because watching you two stare at each other and look away is getting harder to watch. It's obvious he still loves you, (Y/N). And I know you do, too.”

Sam walked away after that and left her to her thoughts. He's not wrong and that makes it harder to deny. With a sigh, (Y/N) made her way over to the backroom that Chuck stayed in thinking about his talk with Lucifer. The sound of the door closing caught his attention and for a second, he thought it was Lucifer. But when he saw it was (Y/N), his heart ached at the memories of the pain he caused her, but covered it up with a small smile and a soft, “Hey.”

She's trapped by an indifference

The trees are interference

Fear taking hold

You got to be bold

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, neither one quite sure where to start before Chuck stated, “How about we move this somewhere a little more private?”

(Y/N) didn't even want to know if the others were actually listening in or not, but nodded her head. With a snap of his fingers, they were transported to the surrounding woods outside the Bunker. But now, outside with him, she couldn't quite figure out how she truly felt anymore. It was like there was this indifference trapped around her that wouldn't let her make a decision. With nothing but the trees acting as an interference (which would never work anyways) and Chuck standing barely three feet away, fear began creeping in. Not of him, but of what's going to happen once this was over. “I have to be bold. I have to be strong,” she whispered in her mind. Now or never.

If you've got something to say

Everyone has the day

She got something to say

Everyone has their day

“Chuck, if you've got something to say to me, now's your chance because I've got something to say to you, too. I'm tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever going to come back, to try and fix things between us. I tried to see things from your perspective, but I just couldn't. I was straight with you from the start. I told you I was a hunter, that I killed monsters for a living. And yet, you still went out with me. But you never told me the real truth. That's what really hurt, Chuck. I didn't care that you were a prophet, I didn't even care when you told me you were God Himself, I still loved you. But knowing that you lied to me for a whole year, that's what hurt. And yet when I left, I couldn't get you out of my head. No matter what I've done, you were still there. Even now, I hate you at the moment, but for some damn reason, I still love you.” (Y/N) stared him down, waiting for a sign. What she didn't know was that Chuck was fighting to find the words to say. For once, he was at a loss of words.

You can't bring me down

Bring me down, oh

Taking a deep breath, Chuck closed the distance between them and took a hold of one of her hands. He looked her in the eyes and said, “I know saying “sorry” won't fix this, but I want you to know that I am truly, deeply, sorry for what I did to you. You're right, you never lied to me and yet I did. I never meant to. I just didn't want to loose you if you found out the truth and in the end, I did loose you. But not for who I am, but for what I did to you. And I can't ever take that back. If I could go back and change things, I would, but that would mess up everything in motion. Believe me, there's nothing I wish for more than to be able to redo that whole year. When you left, I tried to get over the heartache, but even then, I couldn't let you go. Everything I did, everywhere I went, I was thinking of you. I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will. I don't know if I could ever truly make up for what I did, but I want you to know that I am willing to try again and make things right, but only if you are. I won't force you to try things again with me; I want you to make that decision. I only want to make you happy.”

Oh, you got something to say Put it on the edge of the stage Everyone has today You got something to say Put it on the edge of the stage Everyone has the day You got something to say Put it on the edge of the stage Everyone has the day

(Y/N) thought about what he said and weighed her options. If they tried things again, it could either work out or they'd end up back here again, broken up, yet still loving each other. Or they could go their separate ways, not try again, and maybe have a shot with someone else. But she'd still be thinking of him. No matter what choice she made, her heart will always be drawn back to Chuck.

After much consideration, (Y/N) was going to lay it all on the line. She was going to put her heart out on the edge and say what was on her mind. This was the day, the day they finally make things right. Do you got something to say? Put it on the edge of the stage Everyone has the day

Everyone has today, their day You got the day

She looked him in the eyes and without warning, pulled Chuck closer and proceeded to kiss him, letting every emotion she'd been feeling pour out into the kiss. Chuck was shocked at first, but soon melted into the kiss and before long, the two of them were making out in the middle of the woods.

When air became necessary, they pulled apart, panting and endorphins rushing, but rested their foreheads together. They stayed like that for who knows how long, just catching their breath and trying to comprehend what just happened. “So...” (Y/N) started off.

“So...?” Chuck copied, causing them both to laugh a little. “So does this mean we're trying again?”

“Yes, it does. We'll take things slowly. And no more secrets between us, okay? I don't want to have a repeat of what happened last time,” (Y/N) said, pulling away to look him in the eyes.

“This time I promise you, no more secrets. If I can't tell you right away, I'll let you know, but I don't want to keep anything from you again,” Chuck promised and he meant it.

“Same here. I won't keep anything from you again. The only exception is if it is to protect each other from something, but that has to be known up front, not later. Understand?” she asked.

“Understand,” he smiled and placed another kiss to her lips. Afterwards, he told her about what happened with Metatron in the pocket-dimension bar, what he plans to do, what he hopes can be fixed instead, and that he hopes that when this is all over, not only are him and his sister back together, but that they can have a go at recreating their first date.

(Y/N) would be lying if she said she didn't cry at some of his confessions. And for His sake, he better not die on her. She wants another go at their first date as well. They spent a little more time outside before heading back in. Sam, Dean, and Castiel/Lucifer all noticed the change immediately and they didn't even ask what had happened. Some things were better left unasked. Chuck and Lucifer tried one more time to reconnect and it sort of worked. They were going to need a lot of time to fix their issues, time they didn't have right now, but if things work out with Amara, then they'd have all the time in the world to make things right. Do you have your way? Your way, your way Gonna get your way You got something to say What have you got to say? You got something to say

Chuck Shurley may be a man of many talents, including somehow managing to not only reconnect with his sister and his son, both of whom he locked away, and his girlfriend who miraculously took him back after all the lies, but he also managed to help save His world, His Creations, and start to rebuild His family again. The only thing he wasn't talented in and probably never will be, Godly powers or not, is fixing his bow tie. (Y/N) chuckled and fixed it once again for him.

“What would you do without me?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I don't even want to think of a future without you, love,” he replied, wrapping his arms around her waist. And it was true, without her, he would be nothing. He was very lucky to have her back in his life again. And Chuck Shurley was going to do everything in His power to make sure he never let (Y/N) (L/N) go again.

[mandilion76]

A Dear John Letter (AKA The Little Red Dress)

Title: A Dear John Letter (aka The Little Red Dress)

Pairing: John x Reader

Warnings: None really, just some angst

Word Count: 1025

Summary: After a lengthy absence, John is in no way surprised to find the reader gone

Author’s Note: This is based on the song “Not Giving My Heart Away” by The Station Breaks.  It is for @mrswhozeewhatsis Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Project and Jason Manns FanFic FanArt Project.  The letter is in italics within the story..  Thanks to @wi-deangirl77​ for always being my cheerleader when it comes to my writing!

John eagerly honked the horn as he pulled into Y/N’s driveway, a bouquet of daisies and a bottle of her favorite wine in the passenger seat next to him. He had been gone for over four months this time, much longer than he had wanted to be, but he’d been given no other choice.  It was the life of a hunter, plain and simple. He knew he had a lot of making up to do, especially with how things had ended their last night together.

He remembered it had been raining that night.  Y/N snuggled at his side, a sheet casually draped over their slick, heated bodies.  Sex with Y/N had always been unbelievable, but there was something about that night that really took it to another level.  He held her in his arms, both of them deep in thought.  Seemingly out of the blue, Y/N confessed she had fallen in love with him.  Taken completely off guard, he stuttered some asinine reply.  The look on her face had said it all.  Y/N turned her back to him, the tension in her back palatable.  John spooned her from behind, explaining that he cared deeply for her, he truly did. Y/N responded with a barely audible “I know you do, John.”

To this day, the silence that followed weighed heavily on him. He wished he could take it back, but he really had no choice.  When did a guy like him have any say in having a happily ever after?  John grunted. “Been there, done that, watched it all go up in smoke.”   He ended up on the couch, unable to sleep. Early that morning, he’d gotten a call from a fellow hunter who had a lead on a case in Missouri and needed his help.  He had almost said no, but thought better of it.  Wishing things with Y/N could be different, he left an hour later.  He left a quickly scribbled note letting Y/N know he’d be back as soon as possible and that he would call her when he could.  

John forced down the apprehension brewing deep in his belly.  Usually, Y/N was quick to greet him even before he had a chance to put the truck in park. Looking in the rear view mirror, he noticed the screen door swinging in the breeze. His immediate reaction was to pull out his gun, so honed were his hunting instincts.  He quickly made his way to the back door, gun cocked in front of him. He pushed on the door, sending it crashing against the wall, the thud echoing in the small kitchen. Tense and ill at ease, John took stock of the kitchen.  Usually bright and filled with Y/N’s female touch, it now stood barren and lifeless.  

John slid the gun back inside his jacket.  His gaze gravitated to a pool of red on the kitchen counter. Immediately and without warning, he was back at that bar, the one where he’d first met Y/N.  His fingers slid across the cool silk, a stark contrast to the heat created by the memories of seeing Y/N in the middle of the dance floor, her hips swaying provocatively to the beat of some Wilco song blaring from the jukebox.  Her favorite, she had told him.  

John clenched the silk in his hands, breathing in the scent of Y/N’s perfume still lingering on the fabric. John regretted all the times he’d left Y/N without much of an explanation.  But how could he tell her what it was that kept him away for days, sometimes weeks at a time? It was mostly to protect her, but to be honest, it was also to protect himself.  He was hell bent on destroying Yellow Eyes.  Not only that, but he knew he couldn’t afford to give his heart away a second time, not when there was so much to lose.  He had to resign himself to the life he lived.  There was no room for love, not really John reasoned He glanced down at a slip of paper that had been partially hidden under the dress.

Still holding the dress in one hand, he brought the note to the table.  John rubbed his face, took a deep breath and began reading, Y/N’s distinct handwriting bold and red.

Dear John,

By the time you read this, I will be gone.   There is something (or is it someone?) that stands in the way of you loving me.  You’ve kept your heart from me, John, and that’s what hurts the most.  In the beginning, a night here, a night there was enough; I wasn’t ready for anything more myself.  Yet, one night became two nights, two nights became a week, and before I knew it, I was head over heels in love with you. Never once did you tell me you loved me, but I figured I loved you enough for the both of us. I think deep down, I knew you could never love me, not in the way I needed, but I took a chance anyway. I figured that if I gave enough of myself in body and in soul, you would eventually open up to me and let me in.   I was wrong. Whatever it is that stands between us has a tight hold on you and I’ll never be enough, will I? I want to hate you John, but I can’t. A part of me will always be with you. I wish you nothing but the best.  Love always, Y/N

John knew he deserved this, that he hadn’t left Y/N a choice, but damn if it didn’t hurt. He held onto the note, willing the words away if he stared at them long enough.  Crimson faded to pink, a sudden onset of tears staining the now crumpled sheet.  Deciding there wasn’t any reason to stay, John shoved the note in his pocket.  Debating what to do with the dress, he let it slide through his fingers, watching it pool on the floor like a puddle of blood.  John thought it was somehow poetic.  He closed the door behind him, ending yet another chapter in the life of a hunter.

[takemymora]

Pride MONTH MERCH BABYYYYY. And yes, I am Chuck's PR Department but I wanted to make wholesome memes that people out of the fandom won't be offended by, I hope you guys like it!

[rennerator]

LOVE LOVE LOVE AWWWWWWWWWWWW, SOOO SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! S2 I LOVE ALL THE DETAILS, THE DEDICATION, THE LOVE!!!!! You SHOULD be PROUD INDEED!!!!! This is SOOOO GORGEOUS!!!! SOOO LOVELY!!!! I LOVE THIS SO SOOO MUCH!!!!! :D I LOVE THEIR LIITTLE TEXT MESSAGES THERE!!!! XD I REALLY LOVE Jeremy and Vipin's friendship!!!! AWWWWWW Thank YOU!!!! Thank YOU SOOOO MUCH for ALL OF THIS!!!!! You are AMAZING!!!!! :) <3

Bridgewater fanart again! (Jeremy Bradshaw in his office)

This is my biggest biggest fanart I’ve ever done so far and let me just say that I’m super proud of it!! There are a lot of details once again 👀 (kudos if you can see the references!)

This is a fanart totally dedicated to @thelaurenshippen , thank you so much for your support on my fanarts, it truly means the world to me, and it isn’t much but it is my way to thank you, as you said that you had a new headcanon as you reblogged my Jeremy sleeping fanart “also: new headcanon I now have vipin started TAing for Jeremy when he was still in undergrad so Jeremy also has one photo of the two of them at Vipin's graduation in his office” so I had to do this: Jeremy’s office where there is a picture of the two at Vipin’s graduation!

Once again as the details are detailing and the headcanon is headcanoning, I’m putting some further explanation after the read more! (And also I’ll tell the refs if you don’t want to search for too long 😭)

It took me 19 hours (I’m slow don’t judge me too much and this is not counting the frame on Jeremy’s desk 😭) so let me just say that a LOT of thoughts went through that little (big?) piece.

First of all as you saw, there is Vipin’s graduation pic on Jeremy’s desk, so here’s a further explanation of it under the post of the art itself (in case you want to see it in a bigger way too)

Then, for the phone’s screen, I did a fake conversation between Vipin and Jeremy which I think totally happened at some point. And here is the real screenshot of it because I don’t think you can see well what is written on the fanart unfortunately. (I also put a little reference to the album “Feelings and Such” by Louden Swain in it which is what Jeremy is supposed to listen to, I gotta say the main reason is because it’s my fave album and group but I would totally see Jeremy listening to that kind of music from time to time, I see him listening to “There’s the Rub” from that album)

Then comes his computer: it is truly the logo of the Bridgewater State University, the sticker from the real merch of the Bridgewater podcast, and the ace flag (because Jeremy Bradshaw being on the ace spec soothes my soul)! It’s my headcanon about Jeremy’s computer, it’s the third time I’ve drawn his pc, and the stickers stay the same no matter what and it’ll stay this way jsksksk

There is little basket of stim toys on his desk too and that’s totally my headcanon: I see Jeremy as a really caring professor, and to me he would have it in his office for the stressed out students coming to see him so they can feel better, or at least his students know he has some to lend! (And I’m nd, I would love to have a professor like that 😭) (thanks for a moot on Twitter for the slinky idea!!)

For the sticky notes on the desk: the one on the papers states “read before 03/24” which is the date the last episode of S2 aired, the pink one “proofread Lauren’s thesis defense date 08/06” Lauren is a direct nod to Lauren Shippen, and the date corresponds to the first airing date of the two first eps of S1 of Bridgewater.

The sticky note it “printer password BSU1976JyBw PS: Vipin I do have a limited amount of copies!” because I thought that printers in the uni might have password deferring from each profs (at least it was like this in my French highschool — as a reminder, I’m from France so it’s really me trying to find stuff on the internet), so BSU = Bridgewater State University, 1976 being Jeremy’s birth year (at least I tried to calculate it and it was 1976? Hopefully I’m right 😭✋ as the show aired in 2021 I tried to assume that 2021 was also the date in the podcast and as Jeremy is 45 during S1 welp), and JyBw is just the first and last letter of his first and last name. Comes my headcanon: at some point Jeremy couldn’t print anything because Vipin had printed too many stuff, hence the little reminder because Jeremy doesn’t want to beg to have more copies 😭

The research paper Jeremy has to read before 03/24 has been written by a certain “J.Novak”! (Totally a Supernatural reference) And when it comes to SPN refs, it’s much more subtle, but I did the same soles for Jeremy’s shoes as Castiel in the episode The End of spn (because the shoes are quite famous for being also identical to the one Dean wears so it was funny and on a funfact Jeremy’s legs and feet posture is bc I saw Misha sit like this so I thought it was fun (I also sit like that so it made me happy))

Behind Jeremy there’s an undone Rubik’s Cube, because I totally see it as Jeremy’s very own stim toy but the catch is that he doesn’t know how to solve it 😭 (thanks another moot for the idea @stillwinchester ily!!).

There’s also a mug, because our man needs to stay concentrated (tea? coffee? Your thoughts, to me Jeremy is more of a tea guy), this is a reference to the X-Files! Big Blue is txf’s Nessie, and the mug is a literal copy of the “real” merch mug you can see in “Quagmire” (3x22 of the X-Files)

For the posters on the walls, the one behind the bookshelves was the main art of an exhibition which occurred “Supernatural America: The Paranormal in American Art” and I’m persuaded that Jeremy would have gone to see that! And he would have loved to keep something from it! (But he ended up having to put his shelf in front of it because he had to put his books somewhere and maybe it creeped out his colleagues and students, here’s a picture of the original painting)

Agatha Wojciechowsky (American, born Germany, 1896–1986), and Spirits. Untitled, 1963. Watercolor and crayon on paper. 11 3/4 × 8 7/8 in. Courtesy the collection of Steven Day, New York, NY. Photo: Steven Day

And for the one near his desk, it is an old poster from the American Folk Art Museum, and to me Jeremy would totally be a museum guy, it’s very “academic” after all, plus he would be interested into it as it’s more around people and self taught people and so on, as he is very interested into anthropology, it goes well with the whole vibe.

https://pirtledesign.com/portfolio/american-folk-art-museum/

For the blackboard, the titles are basically what he is teaching in his lecture in S1 EP01 so to me it would be his way to see more what he has to work on for his students (and I think he fidgets his chalks in his lecture because in the same ep as he speaks you can truly hear a lot of chalk sounds which weren’t due to him writing so I understood it that way?), and there’s a little magnet with a “buy cat food!” because headcanon to me but Jeremy owns a cat (a black cat you can see him on his lockscreen on my drawing of Jeremy sleeping) but as he spends a lot of the time at the BSU, I think he would put reminders just in case 😭 (and there’s a little flower drawing made by Vipin! to me he would doodle little stuff from time to time with little smileys to brighten up Jeremy’s day a little)

Then in the bookshelves you can see a little purple owl! It’s to me, an amethyst carved one, as Jeremy had had his esoteric era when he was younger (it was said in S2 that he tried to be Wiccan) he must still have some stone knowledge and as amethyst is supposed to have soothing and good vibes properties, he might have taken this although he doesn’t believe in it anymore, and of course he picked it because it was an owl because it’s better now to laugh about the owl situation 😭

Lastly: all the books are real books! It took me some time but all of these exist, it’s mainly anthropology book, faculty/uni book, research stuff, and there are two books about the Bridgewater triangle! I tried to keep it around Jeremy’s field of course so it’s the occult, witchcraft, the Salem trials, UFOs, beliefs and all!

Thank you so much if you’ve read this far and I’m very grateful for all your support, it truly means the world to me and Bridgewater is very very close and dear to my heart, lots of love to you all! And thanks for bearing with me through my ideas and headcanons 💜🫶

[natasha-cole]

Artworks

Over Before It Began, Angela, Amazing, Taxi Driver, Gamma Ray

[crushing83]

And here is Turnip (representing Mark S).

I am now one step closer to having a poster of the two SNS drummers facing each other (like in that video), with “Turnip the Beet” written on it. \o/ 

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

Looking for artists/artsy folks!

I’ve got several stories for the Louden Swain and Jason Manns projects that need art! If you’re artsy and can work fast (since I have a week to get my shit together) and want to help, let me know!!

2019 Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Project

2019 Jason Manna FanFic FanArt Project

[authorracheljoy]

MORE ART TRADES!!

Image 1: for Twitter mutual ChakoChanga, I drew their ice-wielding oc, Patricia! :D

Image 2: for @mynameisfucktard, I drew Billy Moran, lead guitarist of their favorite band, Louden Swain! :)

Image 3: for @kiriliansworld, I drew Hanekawa Tsubasa from the anime Bakemonogatari, ‘cause GODAMN SHE NEEDS MORE FANART!

Please enjoy! ^^

[winchestergirl-13]

When I’m Gone

@mrswhozeewhatsis Louden Swain Book

Prompt: “When I'm Gone”

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Warning: little angst, little gore/blood (but very minor/mentioned), some fluff, feels mostly, its gets better in the end.

Word Count: 1,345

A/N, Summary: When I started this story, I kept thinking back to season 13 when we saw Gabriel again and when he left to hunt down Loki. I thought, why not give a different view on that; what if there was someone else he was doing this for? That he left to protect someone he cared about, but didn’t think it all the way through. So that’s where this story came from. I hope you enjoy it.

*

When Gabriel left after killing Asmodeus, his intention was to go after Loki for what he did to him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it yet. He didn't know what to do with himself after leaving her...again. (Y/N) had done nothing but try to help him recover from Asmodeus and not once did she bring up the last time she saw him, which was after killing the other gods and “dying” at Lucifer's hands. And how does he repay her kindness? By leaving. After he flew away, he cleaned himself up with what little grace he had left and made his way out of town. He had to walk but that was fine by him.

Somewhere in a game chest Feeling like a domino Staring at the candle light Waiting for a sign to show I got six more hours 'til the bus comes And then I'm gone She won't know how it really feels Until I'm gone

Gabriel felt like he was stuck in a game chest or waiting for the last domino to fall. He couldn't figure out what he was feeling. The sun was just starting to set over the tree line as he waited for some sign to come his way. Something to tell him what to do. He came to a stop at a bus stop outside of Lawrence, and while he had to wait about six hours until the next bus got there, it gave him time to think. Where the bus was going, he didn't know. Once he got on that bus, he'd be gone; he wouldn't see (Y/N) again. He tried not to think about how him leaving again was going to make her feel. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting her again, yet that's what he was doing. “It's for her own good,” he thought to himself.

But then I really wouldn't know I really wouldn't know

(Y/N) was out of town on a hunt when Asmodeus came by to try and steal Gabriel again, so she wasn't there when he killed his captor, nor when he left. Sam and Dean had to tell her that Gabriel had left and that he wasn't coming back. So many emotions were running through her mind as she tried to figure out what to do now that Gabriel had left. But she really didn't know.

Neither did Gabriel. Neither of them knew what to feel right now. Big wheel pullin' me I don't know why I feel so low Cherry flavored lolly pop Gotta stop looking so Lonely, nobody's gonna wanna make it With a fool I imagine her coming home Coming home to a place so cool

The Greyhound bus pulled up and he got on, trying to understand why it felt so wrong. Taking his seat, he pulled out a cherry lollipop and looked out the window to avoid making conversation with anyone who decided to sit next to him. He didn't want to explain the sad, lonely look to his face right now. Against his better judgement, Gabriel was thinking of (Y/N), of her coming home to someone who could make her happy. To a place where she didn't have to worry about monsters and angels and him. But that just made it worse. Instead, Gabriel tried to focus on those who wronged him; Loki and his children and made it his mission to take care of them.

Yeah but then I really wouldn't know I really wouldn't know I really wouldn't know There'd be no way to know Anyway Anyway

(Y/N) tried to forget about Gabriel, about how he hurt her, but she couldn't. He was all she could think about. Hunts took her mind off of him for a small time, but when it was over, he was there again. She often wondered if he thought of her while he was doing...whatever it was he was doing. But she also didn't want to know. What she didn't know was that Gabriel did think of her while he was on his mission. It gave him a purpose; thinking of her and how she's doing without him made hunting down and killing Loki's children easier. To him, not only was he getting revenge on the person who hurt him, but he was making it safer for her in case they decided to go after people he cared about. But they wouldn't get the chance once he was done with them.

I don't mind the pain I don't mind the flames I don't mind the rage...

Killing Fenrir was fueled by rage, pain, and the determination to get back at Loki. When Fenrir swiped at Gabriel and injured him, he used that pain as a way to push on. He had to get them all, he just had to. But without his grace, he couldn't heal himself fast enough and the injury actually slowed him down. He needed help.

Luckily, with the little grace he had left, he somehow managed to find Sam and Dean at their motel and asked for help. The Winchesters didn't have to help him, not after he left them and (Y/N), but if they didn't and he died before (Y/N) got back to the motel, it would make things worse. So they helped patch him up and found out what he was doing here and why.

“Is (Y/N) still with you two?” he asked out of the blue.

Dean fixed him with a glare and stated, “Why do you care?” Gabriel sighed; he saw that coming. Why did he care? He never stopped caring for her.

“Because she's all I think about, minus the revenge on Loki. I never stopped caring for her. I thought leaving would protect her but it only made things worse.”

She's gonna be lonely, won't she When I'm gone

“She's been so focused on hunting to get over the pain that you caused her. If you thought that leaving would make her stop, you had it wrong. (Y/N) has been going on hunt after hunt in hopes of finding you. She hasn't stopped thinking of you, either,” Sam explained. So she was lonely, but not in the way he hoped.

She's gotta realize just how unwise she has been Since I've gone

“She's been trying to find me? Why?”

“You know, I've asked her that myself and she never said anything more than she had to. That's all. She had to find you,” Dean replied.

Sittin on a bus your thoughts turn to dust And seep into your skin

Gabriel thought back to that night at the bus stop. Had she been looking since then? Did she ever think about stopping? Where was she now? His thoughts were interrupted when Sleipnir and Narfi broke into the motel room and it all went downhill after that. He managed to kill Narfi when he was attacking Sam, causing Sleipnir to run off. As they caught their breath, there was the sound of a gun cocking behind Gabriel's head. He froze as Sam and Dean carefully made their way over.

“Turn around slowly.” Gabriel did just that and by the sharp intake a breath from the person holding the gun, and himself, each were just as shocked as the other.

I gotta turn back I gotta turn back I gotta turn back

Anyway

“Gabriel?” the gun lowered as she stared in confusion. Was it really him?

“(Y/N),” he whispered, not believing it to be her. But it was. A few more scars and bruises then he remembered but it was her. There was a sound of a gun hitting the floor, shaking breathes that were trying not to turn into sobs, and then his arms were suddenly full of the hunter he loved.

“You're here. You're actually here.”

“Yeah I'm here and I'm not going anywhere,” he promised. He hoped he could keep that promise. After the battle with Loki and getting his nephew and Mama Winchester back from the alternate universe, he wanted to go back to her. And he would do anything to make that happen.

[waywardnerd67]

His Reaper

Summary: The time has finally come for Dean Winchester. After all the years of watching him die and come back it was finally his time. Yet, when (Y/N) goes to him she cannot do the one thing she was task to do from the moment the great hunter was born. Characters: Dean Winchester, Reaper!Reader Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Fluff/Slight Angst Word Count: 1695 (with lyrics) Song Lyrics (BOLD): Amazing – Louden Swain A/N #1: This is for @mrswhozeewhatsis Louden Swain FanFic Project A/N #2: As always this is unbeta so all mistakes are mine. Likes, comments and reblogs are splendid and I will love you doubly for them! Enjoy!

The moment Dean Winchester was born into the world, Death brought her to his crib side, “See this little one (Y/N). He’s special and I want you to be the one who reaps him when it’s his time. Only you will know when that time is because you are special to him. Understand?”

At the time, she did not understand why Death would take such an interest in one human. (Y/N) felt she was being punished by own having to reap one soul. Why would Death assign her? Why was he so special? What was she to him? All questions she asked herself the first four years of Dean Winchester’s life. Then she watched as another reaper came to collect his mother’s soul after a demon killed her. Setting him on the path to becoming one of the most skilled and feared hunters of the world.

(Y/N) kept her distance as he grew up watching him go through an abusive childhood with a father who was so consumed by grief he could not even see he was abusing his sons. She watched as they were groomed into fierce warriors and as Dean learned to be on his own as Sam left them for college. When John Winchester disappeared as Dean was on a hunt of his own, she watched as the brothers were reunited and then brought together by the untimely death of Sam’s girlfriend.

Over the next fourteen years, (Y/N) watched as Dean and Sam Winchester fought off every possible evil the world could throw at them. She was there for every death Dean had always sending him back knowing deep down that it was not his time yet. She almost went toe to toe with an archangel who made Sam goes through Dean’s death over a hundred times. It was the only time in all her years of reaping souls that she felt exhausted trying to keep Dean’s soul from going to his afterlife.

Now, she was standing at his hospital bedside. The archangel Michael having left his body a complete wreck after Dean had trapped him within his mind. Michael was not kind when he broke free and now machines were keeping him breathing. Sam was clearly distraught about the impending decision he would have to make while Castiel was looking into any healing spells he could with the Men of Letters Bunker.

“Hello (Y/N).” she heard Dean’s sadden voice behind her.

She looked over to him as he looked down at himself, “Hello Dean.” She said softly as he walked up next to her.

It was not the first time they had met in all the times he had died she allowed him to remember her. (Y/N) did not understand why she would do something so reckless, but she felt connected to Dean in ways no reaper should ever feel for any human. Now, standing with him Death’s comment about her being special to him became perfectly clear.

They were bound together. Forever meant to be by each other’s sides. Why Death had chosen her, she probably would never know, and it honestly did not matter. The only thing that mattered was this moment right now with Dean.

“I know one of these days bad habits will kill me. That sooner or later we all must pay our debts. No one is immune to the maker no matter how sorry, no matter how safe, no matter how lucky you are. The landlord needs the rent.” He said watching as Sam walked into his hospital room his long chestnut hair dirty from not bathing and a week’s worth of hair covering his face.

Sam sat down next to his brother’s bedside, “Dean I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need you to keeping fighting. I… I don’t want to do this life without you. I don’t know if I can save you this time, but if you keep fighting then so will I.”

Tears were running down Sam’s face as he placed his face within his hands. (Y/N) glanced over to Dean whose eyes were shining in pain. “This is it, isn’t it?” she nodded as he took in an unneeded deep breath, “But as I lay in my hospital bed there's not a moment that I regret. Take me to your leader, put me in my place. A little smoke and mirrors and a little bit of faith. I'm the captain of my story, but I'm looking for a mate. A rescue from the needle. Give me just a taste of your amazing grace.”

She was surprised to hear that this time he was ready to go with her. (Y/N) wondered if Death had anything to do with this. She knew Dean had seen her reading room and that after trapping Michael she showed him how all of this was supposed to end. Yet, (Y/N) could not shake the feeling that it was not his time yet. The world still needed Dean Winchester. It still need Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack all together to protect it.

“I often think of my life as one big movie. A two buck matinee of one of the greats. The main characters is just so captivating. I just worry I'm the only one in the seat, but as the final credits start to fade. I wouldn't take back a single frame. Take me to your leader, put me in my place. A little smoke and mirrors and a little bit of faith. I'm the captain of my story, but I'm looking for a mate. A rescue from the needle. Give me just a taste of your amazing grace.” She saw the agony in his eyes as he spoke.

(Y/N) knew he was worn and tired, but this was Dean giving up, “Dean… I-I can’t.” she whispered as he grasped her shoulders making her face him.

“I need you by my side. I need you this morning wrapped tight in a web of blankets and strawberry sheets. We both know its truth that we'd both we'd be probably working nose holding tight to a laptop like a dog on a leash. Hold me baby, hold me tight. The car is racing, the road is flying by. Take me to your leader, put me in my place. A little smoke and mirrors and a little bit of faith. I'm the captain of my story but I'm looking for a mate. A rescue from the needle. Give me just a taste of your amazing grace.” He was pleading with her as she shook her head.

“I can’t Dean. You need to go back with Sam, Castiel and Jack. They need you, the world needs you. Dean, I need you to go back even though I want nothing more than to take you to your final resting place. You have to go back because you still have work to do.” If she could cry it would have been in that moment.

Dean was looking down still grasping her shoulders tightly. She could see the internal battle going on with his mind as his shoulders tensed up. Finally, he let go of her and looked up at her. His green eyes set with the very determination she had come to admire him for.

“Okay (Y/N). Send me back.” He said as she reached up to touch his forehead, but he stopped her suddenly, “You’ll still be around, right?”

She smiled nodding, “Always.” She placed her hand gently against his forehead feeling his spirit drift back towards his bed.

(Y/N) watched from the far corner of the room as Sam, doctors and nurses were hovering over Dean as he woke up. Over the next few days, she watched as Dean reunited with his family. The world was all the safer when the four of them were together. As Dean was released from the hospital, Death appeared at her side when the familiar black Impala drove off towards the Bunker.

“You made the right decision even though you did not want too.” She said to (Y/N) as she placed her hand on her shoulder.

They appeared in Death’s reading room and (Y/N) looked around confused, “W-What is going on?” she asked.

“When you were assigned to Dean Winchester my predecessor knew you would be special to Dean, but I do not believe he knew just how special. You know what I am tasked with as Death, right?” she asked.

(Y/N) nodded, “Yes ma’am however what does that have to do with Dean Winchester and I being his reaper?”

In a rare moment, (Y/N) watched as Death smiled genuinely and that made her worry. “Your role in Dean Winchester’s life is much more than being his reaper now. You belong at his side and I’m going to make that so. (Y/N), it is important for this world and universe that you are still the one who will know when it is Dean’s time to go. I’m sorry for putting this burden on you but when the time comes, you will be the one who knows when it is time to let him go.”

She stared at Death unknowing how to take in everything she had just said. “Why me?” was all she could manage to ask needing to know after all this time.

“You’re important just as the Winchesters are important to this world.” She answered then snapped her fingers.

(Y/N) slowly opened her eyes seeing bright blue sky and feeling the warmth of the sun above. All the noises, sensations, smells were all overwhelming for her. Her chest was burning and then she took in a deep breath now needing to breath. Her stomach growled angrily at her and her mouth was dry making her throat burn. She squinted to look around and found the familiar entrance of the Bunker.

Shakily making her way over to the door barely strong enough to open it and stumbling down the dark corridor she banged on the solid iron door with all her strength. When it opened she found herself staring into the all too familiar piercing olive eyes. “D-Dean…” she said as blackness flood her eyes.  

Check Out Part 2: Her Hero

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

My Nerd Herd: @waywardbaby @ladywinchester1967 @akshi8278 @ericaprice2008 @mirandaaustin93 @spnbaby-67 @1967-essentialghoul @dean-winchesters-bacon @-lovepeacenhope- @destiel745 @carribear31 @srsllydunnodoncare @whimsicalrobots @thisismysecrethappyplace @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @adoptdontshoppets @mrswhozeewhatsis @bella-ca @drakelover78 @imascio08 @pisces-cutie @dwgrl1903 @mannls @the-salty-asian @winchesterprincessbride @xostephanie @klanceiscannon14 @superromijn @witch-of-letters @screechingartisancashbailiff @myinconnelly1 @sister-winchesters99 @thekatherinewinchester @babykalika2001 @maddiepants @tumbler-tidbits @sandlee44 @time-travel-bouqet @carryonmywaywardcaptain

[ellen-reincarnated1967]

She Waits

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Reader, mentions of Kevin Tran, Naomi, Castiel, Azazel, and Crowley

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings/Triggers: Angst, possibly some tears, mentions of blood, nothing too graphic.

A/N: Set during the “Trials”, Sam sets out to close the gates to Hell. This will be told from the Reader’s POV as to what she is witnessing.  

Challenge: Written for @mrswhozeewhatsis 2018 Louden Swain Fanfic and Fanart Project.  I chose the song, She Waits, by Louden Swain.  This song, no matter how you discern it, speaks volumes to me.  It never ceases to bring me to tears and it has nothing to do with waiting for the love of your life to return.  To me, it’s that love and glimmer of hope that we hang onto so strongly, that nothing, not even wild horses can tear from our grasp.  I’d like to personally thank the band in its entirety, for making me feel again- the first time I heard this song was at NashCon 2017, and while I was gob smacked by all the fanfare, smiling from ear to ear, this song smacked me upside the head, ripped at my breastplate, and shocked my heart into a myriad of emotions.  I hope that I do it justice. Rob’s performance threw me into a fit of concern, knowing of his past health issues, and the power and tears he fought through singing this song, had me wanting to keep him safe from it all. I commented to my best friend @jodyri that I wanted to put Rob in my pocket and keep him safe.  She replied with, “he’s a grown ass man, Andi.” Shrugging, I replied, “and yet he cries and I will always want to protect him.”

Lyrics can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWm-ba52o9Q

Word Count: 2244

Have faith

Promises were made

You just take care and behave

You left, and now you are saved

The path, it walks you away

Sam Winchester has always had this complex from the moment I laid my eyes on his weathered face.  While the world was in need of saving, this man, stitched together by duct tape and safety pins, long before the Trials, needed his own savior.  He silently would pray to a God that we had never seen with our own eyes, but it was his pure yet naive belief, that with all the sins that were borne of his fight to save the innocent, he was in dire need of a baptism, a cleansing, purification by what was written by this God, on tablets as weathered as he.  

Sam had an unwavering faith in his brother, the cause, the angel that considered him once an abomination, and his faith in me was the one thing I wished I had at least nine tenths of possession.  The pain that he had gone through, the losses, the childhood he never had, a house he could never call a home, were not obstacles in his path, no, they were mere stepping stones leading up to this moment.  He promised me that no matter what, he would close those gates to Hell, our lives would be less of a burden, the losses we took, would dwindle, and we’d find every last demon released on Earth, and when the last was sent back to its place in Hell, maybe, just maybe we could finally just be.  

The first trial, according to the prophet, our friend, Kevin, was to bathe in the blood of a hellbeast.  Dean in all his eldest brother machismo, called dibs on the Trials, but in the end, it was Sam, who lay drenched in the blood of a hellhound, his knife gutting the beast from belly to nose.  The look in his eyes was something I had seen many times over; relief, protection, weariness. He saved us once again, but at what cost?

Kah nuh ahm dahr

As Sam read the Enochian incantation, from my seated position, I saw this incredible light as bright as a sunset, traverse up his forearm, the pain most obvious by the clenched jaw, the way his body turns into itself, his eyes brimming with tears he refuses to let fall.  He looked to me, as worry filled my very being, mouthed that he was okay, and turned to his brother as if nothing supernatural occured.  That’s how the three of us acted; Dean stowed away his worry drinking, Sam pushed himself onto the next task, and I was with him every step of the way.  We spend every waking moment with one another, we brush our teeth together, we run five miles every morning, and that’s how I noticed that Sam was not himself.  Blood mixed with water, droplets in the sink, that coppery taste with a kiss goodnight, did not go unnoticed.  Yet he carried on with the Trials.  And I- waited by his side, doing whatever in my power I could.  

And meanwhile the house is empty

The floors lay, naked and weary

The walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

And she waits for you

Last night

You left like a bird

Fly away, and never be heard

The wind, it's cold and absurd

But, man, you gave her your word

The second trial it was decided to save a soul from Hell and it came to be an absolute shock when we were informed by this “taxi driver” that our Bobby, had never made it to Heaven.  Crowley hijacked his soul and sent it to suffer unbeknownst to us, for months, possibly years, in a cage in Hell. As Dean bargained with the driver for three tickets down, four back, Sam pulled us aside and told us he was doing this alone.  Dean, stoic, sans a tick of his jaw, knew Sam was right, but had not dared to say the words.  I, on the other hand, did not let my voice go unheard.  I walked to Baby’s trunk and armed myself with a few knives and the brass knuckles I favored, and planted myself in front of Sam.  Determined and stubborn, he knew breaking the promise that he had made me long ago, will break me more than if he didn’t return.  Yet, Sam shook his head, kissed me like it would be the last time, and shoved me into Dean’s arms.  I fought against Dean’s stronghold, I even elbowed him in the stomach, but to no avail. As Dean peeled away from the alleyway, I watched with tear stained cheeks, Sam take the driver’s hand and disappear like a bird in the wind.

Sam made it back, I always knew he would, but he came back more weathered and torn, his burdens lay bare on his shoulders, the way he carried himself towards us as if he was hunched from the pain. We anchored him, planted ourselves on either side of him as he drew the blade  into his forearm and we watched as Bobby’s soul floated towards Heaven, only to be caught in some sort of black smoke.

Crowley.

Another player in the game that we were not going to lose, regardless of the stakes, I watched in absolute shock as both the King of Hell and the watcher of angels, Naomi, fought one another, their contrasting powers ricocheted off one another, until Crowley was beaten.  While Sam was in Hell, we were visited by Naomi and Castiel, who revealed to us that Metatron was lying to us.  We were mere pawns in his game to overtake Heave and cast out the angels.  It was then my suspicions were confirmed.  Sam, if he completed these trials, would not only seal the gates once and for all, but the final task, the fine print, if you will, of God’s plan, was a sacrifice.  

Sam’s life for the human race.

Sam was burning, literally from the insides out, and he kept on trudging.  I begged him to stop and he begged me to let him go.  I’ve fought countless demons, suffered tortuous pain from my captors, angelic, monstrous, and sometimes, human, but what Sam was asking of me, was the hardest and most unimaginable pain I could only fathom.  I swore to him that I’d let him finish, damn the consequences. I knew he had taken on too much, he felt a burden to Dean, always had, no matter how many times Dean promised him it was okay. It was okay that we didn’t go looking for him in Purgatory, it was okay that we tried to live an apple pie life, it was okay.  

It really never was.  We were bested by the lies we told.  The more we lied the more Sam became an empty shell of the man I fell in love with. These were not only God’s Trials, they were his and mine as well.  Sam felt as if this was his chance at purification from the stigma of being chosen by Azazel.  It was then that I felt that all I had given him, the love, the reassurance, the promises of forever, was never enough.  

And meanwhile the house is empty

The floors lay, naked and weary

The walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

And she, waits for you

Despite the feeling of being not enough for Sam, I waited.  I would continue to wait for him to see that he was enough for me.  

Third and final trial, cure a demon.  I found myself laughing at the preposterous task.  Perhaps, that’s when Dean realized I had finally broke.  He didn’t acknowledge it, no, rather we schemed to capture Crowley and Sam planned to use the findings in the Men of Letters' lore, that it was absolutely possible to cure a demon.  For they were once human, after all.  Tucked away in an abandoned church, Sam prepared the ritual.  Extracting his blood, sanctifying it, and injecting it into the soulless one.  Extract, purify, inject.

Extract.

Purify.

Inject.

The more Sam gave of himself to save Crowley, the more torn apart Sam became.  The skin on his arms was peeling, the hollowness of his eyes became more prominent, his once tawny complexion, was that of a ghost’s echo.  I stayed outside; another promise to Sam.  I wouldn’t allow Dean to stop him.  

Promises are fickle when you love someone.  Do you break them when their life is in peril or do you suffer and condemn yourself as well?  As I pondered these dauntless questions, I was distracted when Dean appeared, determined, to get to Sam.  He was shouting at me, words I could not, no, would not register, because I made a promise to Sam.  I fought Dean as best as any hunter could, but he could never be bested, not by the likes of me. I stumbled as he apologized, clocking my jaw, pushing past the church’s doors, and begging Sam to stop the trials.

You’ll die, Sam.

So?

One word so devastating that when Dean looked to me, to back him up, I resolutely stood my ground, tears silently streaking down my cheeks, the blood on my lip smeared on the back of my hand, hands that were now fists at my sides.  Realization hit Dean in the gut- he was caught breathless.

You knew? You knew he’d die and you, what, YNN, you did nothin’?

I promised.

She promised.  She stood by me, Dean, stood by me, when I was nothing but a burden to you.  You know what I confessed in there, Dean?  My greatest sin?

That I wasn’t good enough for you; you can’t do this with me, Dean. You think I need a chaperone, remember?

I failed you, Dean.  That is my greatest sin.  And...I can’t do that again.

Don’t you think, that there isn’t anything past or present, that I wouldn’t put in front of you, Sammy.  

She can't hear anything they're saying

She can't believe what is true

It doesn't make sense what they're saying

She can't see anyone, but you

Sam let it go- he failed to complete the last trial, because he finally heard from Dean what he had needed to hear.

He was enough.

As he whimpered in relief as the sickness dimmed from his arms, he doubled over, and I bolted to his side, bolstering him upright with Dean, once again.  Yet, the irony of it all, we weren’t enough to save him.  It was too late and that will be the one thing that will keep me alive, because a swift death would be too easy a way out. I will wait for him.

Little girl

Hold on and wait

It's not fair, the fairness is overrated

Wait and you will be saved

The path, it walks in this way

The angels fell.  

My angel fell.  

Into a comatose state; machines would be his life support.  

I found Dean in the chapel, I heard his prayers.  How weak I had become during these Trials, any other hunter would laugh in my face as once again, I let the tears fall.  I just didn’t care enough anymore.  All I wanted was Sam back.  Call me selfish, call me a traitor.  He was always good enough for me.  As I walked back to Sam’s side in the hospital room, I crawled up against his seemingly lifeless body, and curled into his broken shell.

I waited.  

I would wait for Dean’s prayers to be answered.  

I would wait to break Sam’s promise.  

I would continue to wait for the love of my life.

And meanwhile the house is empty

The floors lay, naked and weary

The walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

And she, waits for you

She waits for you

She waits

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