#lou is a genuine pro at what she does

[yesjejunus]

Since my pal @fallout-lou-begas did an especially beautiful job on the panels and design for this comic, I thought it would be nice to post the text free version of the pages for this @ikroah. Thanks again to those that have been enjoying the comic!

[felixvanhuss]

And I have (some) answers! (If you want ^.^)

-It has to do with the whole stick and rope thing, the knot is tieing people together. It's like a symbol ^.^

-The surnames seem to be based on their jobs now, which was how things used to be way back when, but I'm not totally sure why the change happened so soon after the apocalypse

-Die-Hardman's actual name is John, but I will agree that Die-Hardman is the dumbest fucking nickname ever lmao

-I do not totally know how everything changed very fast. I think it has something to do with the fact that the apocalypse upturned society so completely and obliterated so much of the human population, but that's just my own thoughts on that

-I don't think it's a pro-life thing, but I also don't really have further explanation on this one tbh

-So Bridges has the official stance that BBs are just tools or whatever, but that doesn't stop plenty of people from becoming very attached to their BBs and viewing them as people. Idk how much you read your mail, but there's at least one other porter who saw their BB as just a little guy and that implies to me that it is a common thing, despite Bridges' propaganda

-They're beached between life and death, but yea it is kinda a goofy name X)

-The online option isn't MMO-like at all and actually I LOVE it! You leave a ladder somewhere and in someone else's game, a ladder appears! Or they leave a safehouse somewhere and you get a safehouse! You don't see other people wandering around in the world and really the only interaction you have with them is leaving likes and getting likes, it's purely positive and I love it so much!! Seriously, ideal online gameplay, I don't have to actually interact with anyone but we're all helping each other out ^.^

-I have no good answer for this one tbh. I think Kojima just thinks it's funny?

-Sam is just kind of a weird and awkward dude who doesn't really know how to interact with people and is more comfortable when alone

-She's weird. She's a weirdo. She doesn't fit in and she doesn't wanna fit in

-In the Directors Cut the Monster Energy is gone lmao

-I think the answer for that is game dev friendship

-The goal was for the story to be continuous without having bits of play that become non-canon through the player dying and having to start over from a save point. This way everything that happens in your game is a canon part of the story ^.^

-There are so many cameos in this game it's a bit silly and kinda fun idk lol

-I think the MULEs are supposed to be some kind of parallel to you as the player. They're hooked on delivering packages and if you're sucked in by the gameplay loop, so are you

-The emoji use is very silly, yes ^.^ I find it kind of charming in its own way tho haha

-GOD I know???

-So I haven't played any Metal Gear games but from what I understand...Kojima just likes writing weirdos

-Idk if you found Higgs' diary or whatever but dude has a massively fucked up backstory that does explain why he's Like That

-Mario and Princess Beach makes me wanna run into BT territory lmao

-Oh! Cliff ISN'T Lou's father! He just thought that Lou was his BB! Those aren't Lou's memories, those are Sam's! Cliff is Sam's dad! :D

-Die-Hardman's mask has some sort of weird chiral field around it that makes people not really know who exactly they're looking at. Someone you know really well could wear the mask and they'd be a stranger to you. They react like that because the man behind the mask is supposed to be dead. I didn't really get it at the time either but there's some post-endgame mail that you get that explains it better and since I had decided to 100% the game I got it ^.^

-AHAHAHA yea. Desk flip indeed

-It's just a fun quirky game and I'm so happy you enjoyed it :D It's genuinely one of my favourite games and I love hearing that other people had fun with it too ^.^

Idk if maybe you didn't really want someone to go through this and answer most of the questions you had, I'm just very passionate about DS lol. I am sorry if this was annoying to see added to your post tho <3

I played Death Stranding and I have...questions.

I considered posting about these things as they came up while playing, but figured that as soon as I started talking about it, Tumblr would start throwing spoilers in my face. So instead of having to tiptoe through that minefield, I've been saving it up until I beat the game and could talk about it freely.

Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk!

Why the heck are the cities all named "____ Knot City"? Why would they not use the names of old cities or even towns that used to be roughly in the same location?

Why does no one use ordinary surnames anymore? There's literally no reason for people not to use them a mere generation (if that) since the apocalypse.

WHAT THE HECK KIND OF NAME IS DIE-HARDMAN THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

For that matter, why has so much changed in such a short time? The last president was still around in living memory, so the Death Stranding just happened a few decades ago at most. And I don't think this is set super far into the future - not like Horizon: Zero Dawn, for example, where it makes sense that no one remembers what life was like in 21st-century America, because it's set a thousand years in the future. Everyone over a certain age in Death Stranding can remember what it was like before, so why is everyone acting like they're unearthing some incredible archeological find when they discover that people used to...I don't know...play video games?

Carrying unborn babies around in a tank because their mothers are braindead and thus connected to the world of the dead and so the babies can detect the presence of the dead...may be one of the creepiest things I've ever done in a game before. And I can't decide if this is a pro-life thing or not, because there are soooooo many mixed messages of some characters insisting that BBs are just tools, and others who treat them like actual babies.... I mean, I saw Lou as a person from day one, and clearly, Sam came to the same conclusion since he named Lou...but I just wonder what the creators of the game were thinking when they implemented that.

Okay, I get that not everybody knows that BBs even exist, but of those who do...why are more people apparently not bothered by carrying around what is apparently a human child in a little tank??? Wouldn't it take an awful lot to convince people that the thing that looks and acts like a human child is in fact not a human being - when you can literally see everything they do, you can hear them crying, they are fully formed, so it's not like they're weird-looking little fetuses? Do I just have too high a view of humanity?!

WHO THE HECK DECIDED THAT THE OMINOUS GHOSTLY SPIRIT THINGS THAT CHASE YOU DOWN TO PULL YOU CLOSER TO DEATH SHOULD BE CALLED "BEACHED THINGS"??? WHY DID THEY GO WITH THE STUPIDEST-SOUNDING, LEAST INTIMIDATING NAME THEY COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF?! I was creeped out when they were just BTs, because that sounds kind of ominous, but as soon as I found out what that stands for, I burst out laughing. They'll never be truly intimidating again.

Why is there an online option at all in this game? Does anybody actually play with it turned on? I immediately went, "lol, nope" as soon as it was explained to me. If I wanted to play an MMO, I'd go play World of Warcraft (or whatever the kids are playing these days).

Why. On Earth. Are bodily fluids used to make grenades. Were they trying to make you feel like a monkey throwing feces around? Why is showering and using the freaking toilet an actual gameplay element? (What is this, The Sims?) Why is there a button you can press to pee on the ground while on the road? WHY DOES A HOLOGRAM OF A MUSHROOM APPEAR TO MARK THE PLACE YOU JUST WATERED THE GRASS???

Why is the tonal shift so severe when you're in a private room? Sam goes from being a stoic grumpypants who just kind of grunts at people, to making faces and breaking the fourth wall. Is this...supposed to be funny? Is what happens in private rooms outside of canon? No, that doesn't work, because there are quite a few plot-advancing cutscenes that happen in private rooms....

Why does Fragile chew so weirdly?

WHY ARE THERE ACTUAL LITERAL MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS IN THIS GAME AAAUUUUGH THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT IS SERIOUSLY MESSING WITH MY SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF DX

Why on earth is there a random hologram of Aloy and a Watcher from Horizon: Zero Dawn? All it does is serve to yank me out of my suspension of disbelief and remind me of a game that does a much more convincing job with the post-apocalyptic future of North America.

Why bother with the whole repatriation thing? Did we really need an in-universe explanation for why you can come back to life if you get a game over? Like...it's not going to make anyone forget they're playing a game. And they didn't do a great job of establishing right away whether or not Sam retained his memories after that scripted repatriation at the beginning. Left me very confused for a long while. If they wanted him to survive his wife's voidout, he could have just...not been there when it happened, you know? (Upon reaching the end of the game, I understand a little better why they did it this way, but I still think it's a bit clunky.)

Why the heck is Conan O'Brien in this game? Like, I can sort of understand Guillermo del Toro, I guess, but....

What's the point of making the MULEs addicted to oxytocin or whatever, so far gone that they're compelled to steal people's packages for the high of it? That's...really stupid and unnecessary. Seriously, you could just have them be bandits. People who are hostile to Bridges to such an extent that they attack porters on sight, or who have broken away from others and created their own little communities, and they have no qualms about stealing packages from people, in case they might contain valuable resources.

Why does nobody in this world know how to use emojis? Were all the mail messages written by boomers?

Who on earth hired the actress who played the Chiral Artist, and why didn't they get someone to play that role who could actually act?

Why is it that all the significant NPCs in the game are so...unique? You've got Mama and her BT baby, not to mention that she doesn't decay after she dies and is somehow alive in Lockne's body. You've got Deadman, who is a literal Frankenstein's monster of corpses stitched together. You've got Heartman, who undergoes cardiac arrest and gets revived every 20 minutes.... I mean, none of the characters important to the story are just normal people dealing with the Death Stranding. They're all one of a kind. Which isn't bad, per se, but it sort of stretches my suspension of disbelief. It would be one thing if it was a deliberate gathering of exceptional minds or something, but it feels like they all just "happened" to be working for Bridges or something. Am I being too picky here?

Why is Higgs that creepy? I mean, I totally dig how hard Troy Baker leaned into the craziness of the role, all slick and sinister, wearing a chiralium mask shaped like a skull, blipping in and out instead of walking two paces just because he can...but why have him smear tar around and lick it off his thumb? Why have him lick Sam's face? It just seems...rather excessive to me <_<

Who on earth came up with having Sam compare himself and Amelie to Mario and Princess Peach? Or for that matter, who had the atrociously lame idea of "Mario and Princess Beach" being an actual line of dialogue we had to hear with our own eardrums? Because I think they need to be fired. Kojima-san, if that was your idea of 'humor' or something, please fire yourself. You're not allowed to string words together anymore.

So...wait. Is it supposed to be a surprise that Clifford Unger is Lou's father? I mean, if it was believable for Sam to not have figured it out a long time ago, that would be fine even if I was pretty sure - that's just dramatic irony. But, like...Sam has been seeing visions of Lou's memories pretty much every time he hooks them up. That's canonically backed up in-story. I find it really hard to believe that Sam wouldn't have pieced it together in all that time.

When Die-Hardman finally takes off his mask...there's nothing unusual about his face? I was expecting some kind of disfigurement from timefall or something, but he looks completely normal, and yet everyone starts muttering in shock?? Is the surprise supposed to be that he's actually completely normal???

WHY ARE THERE TWO CREDIT ROLLS?!?!?!?! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ This game take so long just to get through the ending....

Why is this game so fun and addictive despite being so wonky and weird? I loved it. Couldn't stop playing ^_^

Now that I've finished, I am so confused by the timeline and who Sam actually is, so I'm headed off to go research what the heck is up with this game @_@

[bookofmirth]

Hi I am another Elriel shipper that genuinely loves reading you thoughts. While I don’t agree with everything you say I think they are very insightful and thought provoking and I enjoy them . Before I get to my point I just want to say that I am truly sorry on behalf of the Elriel fandom for all the negative that has been going down as of late. As someone who yearns for peace in the fandom and cannot tolerate seeing honest people being torn because of a ship.. seeing this shipwar pains me . I am fairly new to this fandom and I follow many Elriel blogs and pro Elaine and pro Lucien blogs. Some happen to be Elucien shippers too and I find myself gravitating towards them more as people rather than of my fellow Elriel shippers. Don’t get me wrong I still adore Elriel . But I just don’t want to surround myself with certain type of people no longer . My question is , Do you know of any blogs that lean more towards neutral shipping or don’t care about shipping at all?

Hello lovely person!

I'm glad you don't agree with everything I say - I'd assume you weren't really paying attention if you just nodded along like you had a blank smile on your face. I'm sorry the fandom isn't a great experience for you right now. I hope that it changes soon 🤞 In the meantime, ship whatever your heart desires!

These blogs do share similar ships with me, but I know that they either don't participate in the ship war and/or they just vibe. If anyone else wants to recommend their blog as well, feel free! I am not good at going through my dash and I talk so much with people in comments or on discord that I can't remember who is actually active on tumblr.

@cassianandfenrysaremyboyos Lisa and I have been mutuals forever and while we share ships, she's good at just ignoring the BS and doing her own thing

@aelin-godkiller Lou is also a long-time mutual and while she doesn't post quite as much anymore, when she does it's 🔥 she's so smart

@eyllweambassador Ezra is more into ToG, but is a devoted multi/rarepair shipper

@feysandfeels the Lady Lulu to my Lady Lele. She doesn't put up with any anti sjm BS and is a positive space.

@moononastring Yes Gigi is very much an elucien, but she tends to stay away from the drama

@writtenonreceipts lots of fanfic, no drama

@separatist-apologist MB just vibes with whatever she likes in the moment and I appreciate that about her

@gimme-mor is a multishipper - despite being critical of certain portions of the fandom in the past. Can you ask for more?

@ruhncervos Tati just vibes with what she likes

@elains makes lots of lovely aesthetic things

@sjmkinkmeme yes this is my side project with a couple other people, but we only post creative works - no ship war stuff allowed

@tangledraysofsunshine idek if Alex posts that much lol but she is probably the sweetest person you will ever meet in this fandom, and I've known her for a few years. I know. Trust me. The sweetest.

@rayonfrozenwings Renée is the original theory queen

@feyre-cursebreaker Carley always has interesting thoughts

@yazthebookish obviously Yaz has Gwynriel feelings but she has been doing a lot of great theory lately and making posts sorting out all the lore. And if y'all had any idea how much restraint she has shown with this ship war...

and some others for funsies: @darling-archeron @shyvioletcat @starseternalnighttriumphant

I know there are other people who are amazing humans and funny and smart and don't have time for this nonsense, but they may not post much so I might have forgotten to include them.

[fedtothenight]

 i listened to the podcast and i am genuinely baffled. t*ss ward rambles for ten minutes straight and i wanted to bang my head against the whole fucking time because she makes no sense

she goes, “i am pro-positivity, but we’re aesthetic beings, we respond to visual stimulation as humans and we like things that are beautiful. and i think that all bodies are beautiful, all bodies should be celebrated. but i feel, when i see certain pictures on social media, slightly uncomfortable. not if it’s a larger body type, but a lot of people who are celebrating body pos aren’t necessarily using their bodies in a way to  ‘unphotographing’ them in a way that’s about celebrating their beauty, but it’s about just showing them and it’s a different thing”

lou teasdale (who also sounds confused) asks, “do you mean to shock?” 

unseasoned salad: “i think it reaffirms the object referencing that we do with the female body, drawing attention to its physicality [...] as women our bodies are a large part of who we are but at the same we are more than a physical body and if there is a certain body positivity it should be more than about our body and its flaws” 

“remove the body altogether?” 

unseasoned salad: “not exactly. but instead of saying, this is my body i’m gonna show you it in its worst form, it’s just, this is my body and this is how it is in reality. i’m not gonna make it look perfect, airbrushed and stuff, but i’m also not gonna photograph myself at my unflattering angles just to show you it.” 

lou: “i agree and i disagree. i think the best way to overcome the stereotype of the perfect body, which still exists online and in advertising, is for visibility for all body shapes. i’m happy with my body, so i can’t speak for all women, but i would imagine that its different for someone who’s bigger to relate to the stereotypical perfect girl, and that’s the majority of what we see on tv and online. i can see some positivity in women showing their bodies, who have more relatable figures.”

unseasoned salad: “each to their own, but on a personal level i don’t want to see [that]...”

“it’s about getting used to it [the body] not being the perfect one.”

“what dove does is great because what they’re doing is showing a celebration of the female body in all different forms [...] it’s not just a visual representation of a woman at her most unflattering angle just for the sake of doing it [...] perhaps i’m conservative in that sense [...] i don’t mind nudity but i think we are obsessed with the body.” 

TL;DR: 

what unseasoned salad is basically saying is that she is “pro body positivity” but as long as people who are not traditionally beautiful (and she’s being quite inclusive: not just fat people, everyone who’s not traditionally pretty) don’t show the worst most unflattering parts of themselves because a) body positivity should not be about the body (??) and it makes her uncomfortable, as an ‘aesthetic being’ who responds to visual stimuli. 

which is such bullshit. fucking reject the notion that bodies are ‘beautiful’. bodies are bodies. they have a function, and that’s to live. not all bodies are the same. some people are fat, some are thin, some are disabled, but all of them are miracles--vessels that allow us to navigate and enjoy this life. it’s not the body that should be ignored, but the concept of beauty itself, and if posting unflattering pics of our belly rolls and cellulite and stretch marks and make “visual beings uncomfortable” is the way to do that, we should. actually, that’s the point, because that’s what’s not shown in tv and on social media and in advertising. what’s the point of showing pictures that are still appealing to the eye?

“on a personal level i don’t want to see [that]...” fuck you. that’s exactly for people like you that people should post the most unflattering parts of themselves. because they live and breathe and walk this earth and they should be allowed a space and they need to reclaim that space. fuck. you. 

[jlf23tumble]

1D Day: Hour Four

Over the past few years, I’ve seen people try to insinuate that Zayn wasn’t into 1D Day, that he was moody or distant or some other adjective that implies he was on his way out the door, and to those people I ask, did you actually watch any of this, especially hour four? I mean, seriously, watch Zayn over the course of the whole day, but hour four is a revelation if you’ve ever had that notion. He’s witty, charming, happy, smiley, completely on board with every stupid game, and so professional with the fans and the rest of the team that he makes Liam look like an asshole (and Liam is so very far from being an asshole, like, ever). 

In fact, both Zayn and Liam are naturals as hosts; they’re a dream broadcasting team, and for all the (justified, mind you) attitude Louis and (especially) Harry throw down as the day progresses, it’s the complete polar opposite with Ziam. I could watch hours and hours of these two because they manage to convey that fake on-air TV personality chirpiness with a sincerity that’s endlessly compelling. They’re also off-the-charts HOT on this here day (Louis, too, but Jesus CHRIST have mercy on us in hour four). Let’s break it down under the cut.

Hour four kicks off with Zayn and Liam skateboarding onto the set, and Liam is honestly me with his plaintive “I’m really rubbish at skateboarding” as he basically stands on a board that somebody literally pushed in a straight line into the shot.

Zayn’s all excited that this is his first hour (like, he’s literally pumped up for it, and some could argue that he’s as coked up as Harry appears to be, but he’s not as aggressive, he just seems legit happy to be there). Liam’s an old pro by now, and the general mood is positive and calm, in spite of the mega fuckups in hour three and the immediate in-ear issues they’re both already experiencing. Help, they're so hot:

The first segment is about invention ideas from fans, and joining them in the Google+ Hangout (lmaoooo) is Peter Jones (Liam: “a very rich man”) from Dragon’s Den, aka the UK’s Shark Tank, and for all of his cash and presumably all of the D’s, this feels VERY low rent. Way to sell this Google ad, team…maybe that’s why Google+ is a total failure, hmmmm, makes you think. Anyway, the first invention is a 1D Kube, and noah fence to this fan, I’ve made better merch, c’mon, people think outside the box:

Because Peter’s gross, he suggests using nude body parts of the boys instead of their faces, and me as Liam, completely creeped out by that suggestion. The next idea is a 1D pillow, where you go to sleep, and the pillow pipes two 1D songs directly into your brain before powering itself off, but Liam wisely says this might be more distracting than soothing. Peter’s right there with the idea that it should instead offer up soothing pillowtalk (Zayn, take notes!), which instantly worries both me and Liam because it’s weirdly sexi instead of sexy sexi.

The final invention is fart pants, which boils down to deodorized boxers for people like Niall who practically shit themselves when they fart in closed tour buses (paraphrasing). Naturally, Peter likes this idea a LOT, and asks Liam a low-key invasive question about someone stealing his underwear, which leads to a riveting tale of the missing pants and a nervous Liam asking Peter exactly how he knew about this incident. Peter laughs it off as something he found online to embarrass Liam with, but try harder, asshole…they answer worse questions than this before breakfast.

Next, we get Julian “I can’t bother to find out how to spell his last name,” one of the D’s cowriters, in a cringe VT about picking up girls with 1D lyrics. It’s so fucking gross that only Ben Winston could have come up with it, and it goes on FOREVER, even though nothing about it is interesting or cute or witty or anything other than tedious yikes for the women involved. Even Julian knows it’s creepy, and he seems like a guy who’s pretty comfortable with creepy.

We get back in the studio to some actually attractive people who have chemistry together, and, no, it’s not Julian and John “I can’t bother to find out how to spell his last name either” (they make sure to sit far enough apart to maintain their extreme masculinity):

Liam has some good interview questions for these two, such as, “What’s your favorite song that you wrote on for this album,” and John thinks he’s clever by saying it’s both “Little Black Dress” and “Little White Lies,” but the real gem here is the audio of Liam creating “Better Than Words” out of thin air. Look at this fondness while we all listen to Liam’s genius (it’s kind of embarrassing, this whole bit):

We move to fan selfies, and Liam does a terrible Irish accent to request potato selfies for Niall. Moving on to the call box of doom, the two Larries currently rocking out in there seem to dig “Strong” the best (as you do), and Zayn, valiantly battling someone in his ears, politely whispers, “You can crack on listening,” before shutting the door softly.

The VT of randomness from New Zealand prompts Liam to ask, “Zayn, what did you get up to in New Zealand?” (the answer is getting a snake tattoo that’s one of Liam’s favorites on him, in case you’re wondering). But before we can ponder any of that too closely, it’s time for opera singer Rebecca to return for the excruciating opera version of tweets.

Scott’s on the scene to point out the obvious, i.e., Ziam makes it all look so easy, but this next segment is not for the faint of heart. The boys have to blindfold each other (!!) and then feel up crew members to see if they can identify them. Whyyyyy is this so tender:

Someone else blindfolds Liam after he does Zayn (Liam, after it’s done: “Nobody touch me”), and there’s a brief moment where they can feel each other, and Zayn says, “That’s you, Liam,” and fuckkkk me up, wowwww, it’s a lot to take in:

 Anyway, they go on to feel up a lot of doughy white guys to see if they can blindly identify them, and AGAIN, it’s gross because Scott keeps encouraging them to feel this person up below the waist, too (note, they don’t know if it’s a guy or a girl). Fortunately, it’s a parade of doughy white guys until they get to Lou Teasdale, and Zayn identifies her immediately because she’s so fidgety.

We head over to another Google Hangout, and god, words cannot express how good Ziam is at this because even though the same shit happens here as it does in the last hour, these two handle it all like pros. I live for Zayn’s, “Have you been watching the whole show? Are we doing a good job?” with an intense amount of sincerity, and thank god these girls give him the thumbs up because they truly are.

My fave part of this segment is the girls who ask them what their first CD and concerts were. Liam says Linkin Park for CD and Gareth Gates for concert, which earns him boos from the homophobes in the studio, but warm hugs from me. Zayn, who answers this fan question to Liam instead of the girls who asked it, says he can’t remember his first CD, but his first gig was JLS with the boys, and wow, the first date realness here:

Zayn’s genuinely sweet throughout all of these fan segments, asking questions and being invested in the answers, dawwww. The last question is about where they get the inspiration for their dance moves, and Liam says he blags its, but Zayn is here to kill us all by saying, “My inspiration for dancing comes from you, Liam (Louis in the background: “hahahahaha”) because you’re such a good dancer,” and god, I’m not ready for this right now, tbh.

There’s a BSE VT from the fans before a bingo spin to figure out who to follow (again, just follow them all, what does it even matter at this point, ratcha fratcha). But the most annoying part of this bit is that even *I* can hear the in-air buzz of chatter from Ben’s team, so I cannot even imagine how annoying it is in actual ears, holy fuck.

Next up is a live link to Finland, to say hello to the fans who created a massive fanbook that Zayn carefully flips through and sincerely thanks everyone for creating. The VT he introduces next is Louis playing footie, and YES, look at this angel who’s only 22:

Naturally, there are LOADS of technical problems and fuckups, but it’s so refreshing to hear that “hahahahaha” in a massive, empty arena, and to see him practicing a sport he clearly loves.

We’re back with the poor bastards running the Guinness Book of World Records, this time with Liam’s ass smashing balloons (Zayn: “If he wins, do we get our names put down as well?”). The first time is a bust (ha) that ends up hurting Liam’s balls (how, I don’t know):

Everyone agrees they can do better, but Zayn’s not having any further fuckups as he literally coaches Sandy in the background about how best to hold the balloons so that Liam’s ass can smash them in the most efficient manner:

Sadly, it’s not enough to smash the record, much to everyone’s chagrin, but there’s no time to fret or redo, we're off to Stan teaching Zayn’s school to sing (ooops, the VT is incorrect, it’s Scott teaching the X Factor staff to sing “What Makes Your Beautiful,” and they’re the shittiest singers ever, so go off on judging people, I guess).

As per usual, the highlights are fucking horrific. Can’t wait for hour five!

[allinmycorner]

I hope everyone had their box of tissues ready! This past week was Most Memorable Year Week, which always brings some tears as the stars share important events in their lives. And how did it go for them? 

Find out! 

Nancy and Val: Why send her home, America? She’s done nothing but improve and entertain. Her rumba in honor of her family was gorgeous and I think she should’ve been on for at least a couple more weeks. It hasn’t escaped my notice that the first three people all voted off have been women--and a talented female competitor ended up in the bottom two this week. I don’t want to play the sex card but it’s getting a bit glaring here. 

Juan Pablo and Cheryl: They got the first perfect score of the season--yes, even a ten from Len--and this samba certainly deserved it. We know the samba can be the hardest dance for the stars to learn but he handled it like a pro. Everything was well done. But my concern about him from last week still holds--he may have nowhere else to go, allowing others to surpass him. 

Evanna and Keo: We all knew she was going to talk about being cast as Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies, right? And I also knew about her battle with an eating disorder as well as J.K. Rowling writing her letters, so I figured that would get mentioned. We’ve seen some other performances to Hedwig’s Theme (AKA the Harry Potter music) but this was gorgeous. It was as if Evanna stepped back into Luna’s skin and was dancing around the Great Hall. Bravo! 

Milo and Witney: Of course he picked this year. It really is a good year for him and he said it best--he feels as if his life is really starting to begin. His jive with Witney AKA Whittles was a celebration of that. Milo certainly had the energy for it and though he has to watch his form a bit, he continues to grow as the competition goes on. 

Tinashe and Brandon: One, how adorable and supportive are her parents? Two, why the heck were they in the bottom two? Her cha-cha last week was amazing and she followed it up with a gorgeous rumba to her own song. She might need to work on her hips a bit more but otherwise, she just needs to keep rocking on and Brandon needs to keep choreographing kickass routines for her. And America needs to vote for her! 

Alexis and Alan: I teared up during her package as she talked about losing her mother. Contemporary suits her well as she has the grace of a dancer and ballet training. She looked almost like a professional as she and Alan danced around the floor, easily wrapping her body around his as she executed his choreography and each lift. She also put in the emotion needed, no doubt helped by the fact that all the stars were allowed to watch their package before dancing. Her sorrow came through and touched everyone. 

DeMarcus and Lindsay: His tango was amazing and I loved Bruno’s quip about hoping Lindsay was insured because she was getting tossed around in that routine! DeMarcus caught her easily and had good grips on her, but any one of those tricks could’ve gone wrong. They did seem to have a misstep going back into hold after one of the lifts but they quickly got back in sync. It was sweet to end the routine with his children. 

Mary Lou and Sasha: Of course Mary Lou chose when she won the gold medal...but she also finally revealed she had done it after having knee surgery only six weeks earlier. Damn, that’s impressive. Just as impressive as her waltz. She was a bit too focused on it and looked a lot more natural at the end when she hit the final gymnastic pose, most likely relieved once the dance was over. She needs to relax a bit more and trust herself--she’s got it. 

Bobby and Sharna: His story was touching as well--struggling to rise above his circumstances and becoming the first person in his family to graduate high school. For the first time, we saw him control his energy and channel it into the dance. Like Alexis, contemporary suited him well as it gave him a bit more free range. This was his best dance and hopefully he can remember how he controlled his energy when he returns to more traditional dances. 

John and Emma: His movements might need to be more refined and he might need to work on technique more but he can certainly put emotion into the dance. He and Emma work well together and I can’t wait to see who their trio partner is and what they do. 

Joe and Jenna: Okay, look--is he genuinely a nice guy? Yes. Is he cute? Yes. Is he improving? Slowly but yes. Should he still be here? No. He’s trying and I appreciate it. It does look like he’s having fun but it’s starting to get a little silly that he’s safe when someone like Tinashe ends up in the bottom two. As I said earlier, I don’t want to play the sex card...but it does make me wonder if people are only voting for him because they have a crush on him. If so, do you really want to see more talented people keep going home just so you can stare at someone who may reach their level by the finale? Personally, my answer is no but I can’t make that call for anyone else. 

Anyway, the remaining contestants will be dancing in trios tomorrow. They will be joined by guests that include past contestants, so it should be fun! I can’t wait to see it. 

[mycroft-silently-judges-you]

Idyllic Past vs Theoretical Future

- What Danny and Steve’s Hallucinations Reveal about How They See Themselves and Each Other -

While H50 is not a show that normally warrants a deep meta reading, the subtext, parallels, and allegories being more surface level and easily picked up on than a show like Sherlock, after an episode like 8x10, the need presents itself. In order to properly analyze 8x10 though, we have to go all the way back to 5x07.

In episode 5x07, we see Steve kidnapped and drugged by Wo Fat in what would prove to be their final confrontation. Wo Fat is in pursuit of answers regarding his father and Steve, at least at the time, genuinely did not know of his father’s location. Between bouts of being tortured, Steve is injected with a cocktail of hallucinogenic drugs that have him hallucinating a past where he envisions how the people he loves would be if they never suffered the greatest loss of their lives. In effect, he takes their pain away. This manifests itself differently for everyone involved:

Kono - Never blows out her knee surfing, so she goes pro and makes it big, to the point where she makes commercials for her endorsers

Chin - Is never believed to be a corrupt cop and rises to the rank of captain. There is even talk that he could one day become chief of police

Lou - The incident in Chicago never happens and he is only in Hawaii for a golf trip

Jenna - Her fiance is never murdered and is only in Hawaii for what is implied to be a vacation

Danny - He and Rachel never get divorced and he willingly moved his family to Hawaii

Steve - Doesn’t lose his father to Victor Hesse and only comes back to Hawaii to apprehend the man behind the failed hit on his father

Notice the massive alteration Steve made?? By taking away the greatest loss his loved ones have suffered, he made himself a non-factor in their lives and subsequent happiness. He doesn’t even meet Kono, Lou, and Jenna and only exchanges pleasantries with Chin. But aside from saving his own father, he does make one entirely selfish choice…

Danny.

By taking away the loss of his divorce, Danny has no reason to be in Hawaii, nevertheless speak of it as lovingly as he does or put everything into motion by saving Steve’s father. This speaks so deeply about what Steve wants for Danny as well as himself. He takes away the pain of Danny’s divorce, hence giving him a happy marriage so his family is still a solid unit, but he is unwilling to compromise being in Danny’s life even though he is the one of all of his loved ones that he never should have encountered in this idyllic past. Steve wants Danny to want to be in Hawaii, to choose it instead of being there against his will. He wants him to take part in the culture and loosen up a bit. But most revealing of all is that he wants Danny to want to be his partner, for Danny to ask him to be his partner instead of being ordered into a partnership. In other words, Steve wants to be in Danny’s life and he wants Danny to want him there, to pick him in the same way he picked him. That’s an incredibly powerful statement.

In contrast to Steve’s hallucinations, Danny looked to the future in 8x10. 

The episode opens with a flash forward to the restaurant’s future. Pictures of their ohana cover the entrance walls, the place is packed, Steve is happily chatting with patrons and getting some complimentary glasses of wine for a couple’s anniversary. Danny is on quality control in the kitchen, getting dishes out, and preparing a new potential dish. When Steve comes back, he gives Danny a hug and tells him it’s a full house. Danny feeds him a bite of the new dish and Steve loves it, singing him praises, which obviously pleases Danny. The restaurant soon fades away and we find out Danny’s been shot.

The next hallucination is of Grace and Will’s wedding day. It’s taking place at Steve’s house and Grace calls Danny into the room, worried that love isn’t enough for her to go through with the wedding. Danny tells her that if her experience of growing up with parents who divorced taught her anything, it should be that relationships take work and that it’s only when you don’t put work into it that they fall apart. He leaves her to collect herself and goes downstairs to get himself and Lou a beer. They talk about how they’ve raised good kids and the scene fades.

After returning to the present, the scene goes to another hallucination, this one centering around Charlie becoming a member of HPD. The scene reveals that Tani (a cop) and Junior (a SEAL) are married, Junior sporting the longer hair that Tani said would be cute on him, and they kiss. Danny sees the kiss and turns away, cringing at the sight, and Steve is revealed to also still have his longer hair, not the buzz cut that Danny protested against (he’s also revealed to be wearing colorful socks like Danny (x)). Charlie looks towards them and Danny says that he was looking at him, whereas Steve says he was looking at him because he’s his role model. They all congratulate Charlie, Tani even offering him a position on her Five-0 squad (!!), and take pics with him, Danny photobombing Steve’s.

Present time reveals that Danny’s situation is increasingly critical when he fades again, this time we see him walking towards the hospital nursery where Adam is revealed to be watching over his and Kono’s new baby girl. In a scene reminiscent of 2x14 when Steve went to comfort Danny watching over newborn Charlie, Danny comforts Adam and mentions that he needs to learn how to swaddle her. He says he’d teach Adam how to do it if it wasn’t for the gunshot wound in his chest.

Danny is finally removed from the quarantine room after Lou sledgehammers a wall down and is taken into emergency surgery. His condition further deteriorates and he flatlines on the table, the final hallucination presenting itself at this point. He’s sitting with Steve in their chairs on the beach (Steve with the full head of hair he mentioned earlier he would go to the grave with), both clearly in their 70′s or 80′s. Danny’s dozing in his chair when Steve starts talking to him, informing him that Clara called for him the previous day, but he forgot to inform him. It turns out that Clara, Danny’s granddaughter, called to inform him of her intention to attend the police academy and ask whether he would’ve changed anything in his life. He tells Steve that he told her that he wouldn’t, that he wouldn’t change a single aspect of his life. They banter back and forth and the scene fades on a shot of Steve.

It cannot be understated how important this hallucination is. In the moments before death, this is where Danny went. His mind wanted to have one final conversation with Steve, one where he makes it clear that he regrets nothing, especially him, and to hear him say “I love you” one more time. And what’s incredible is that’s only cutting the surface of it.

That final hallucinatory scene is also fascinating in that it raises more questions than it answers. Clara called Steve’s in order to talk to Danny and Steve admits that he forgot to tell him. First of all, why on earth would Danny’s granddaughter call Steve to talk to Danny? And with Steve saying that he forgot to tell him, it implies that he saw Danny before the present time. The latter could merely imply that they still go see each other nearly every day, but taking their advanced age into account, that isn’t very likely. When considering both issues though, it implies that Steve and Danny are, at the very least, living together and that Steve forgot to tell Danny Clara called because he was sleeping or working on something and it slipped his mind.

Also, why would Clara call instead of just visit? It could just mean she was too busy to stop by, but it could also imply that she doesn’t live in Hawaii. If she doesn’t live in Hawaii, was she raised by Grace and Will (I’m assuming it’s Grace’s daughter since Charlie joined HPD and would presumably still be in Hawaii) in another state? With Grace potentially having moved to another state and Charlie an adult, why didn’t Danny go back to New Jersey? You could say it’s because of the restaurant, but even that implies he made a choice. Much like Steve’s hallucination in 5x07 wanted, Danny chose Hawaii and Steve over New Jersey.

The big take away from this scene though is Danny telling Steve he wouldn’t change anything, not one aspect of his life. He’d take the divorce and heartbreak, the bullet and stab wounds, everything, to land to where he ended up. He’s content, he’s happy, with the life that he - they - created.

Weaving all these hallucinatory scenes together reveals a common, and potentially damning, thread about Danny. Specifically, there are three subjects present in every single hallucination:

His kids, marriage, and Steve.

Hallucination 1 - Grace and Charlie are one of the pictures on the wall; the couple celebrating their wedding anniversary; Steve tending to the restaurant and trying Danny’s new dish

Hallucination 2 - Has a heart-to-heart with Grace; Grace’s wedding day; the wedding is taking place on Steve’s beach

Hallucination 3 - Charlie joining HPD; Tani and Junior are married; Steve attended the ceremony with him

Hallucination 4 - Danny learned how to swaddle his babies; Adam and Kono’s marriage is still intact; the scene is reminiscent of the one when Steve comforts Danny after Charlie’s birth in 2x14

Hallucination 5 - The daughter of one of his kids called; he’s sitting with Steve on the beach

Now, when looking at the final hallucination, the marriage point isn’t as obvious as it is in the others, but then the show pulled this sneaky move:

While it seems from the short glimpses we see of Danny’s left hand that he’s not wearing a wedding ring, the lens flair on the final shot of Steve clearly draws attention to his left hand and our inability to see if Steve is wearing one. Assuming they didn’t just decide to drop the marriage thread for this final hallucination, we know something is here. When you take into account Steve being somehow present in all the other hallucinations, Steve’s admittance in 8x06 that he’d like to grow old and get married, and the complete lack of girlfriends in any hallucination, as well as no one else being present in the scene, the marriage here is clearly Steve and Danny’s.

On the heels of that revelation, we’re left to ask how serious the marriage thread here is. Their relationship has been compared to a marriage several times, Steve and Danny themselves drawing the comparison once each, so this could just be a nod to that and to us, the fandom who ships them. It’s a figurative marriage in that case, not a literal one, but that may not be what’s happening here. All the other marriages in the hallucinations have been literal ones and like I stated above, it is likely they are living together. In their old age, did they just decide living together was easier and more comforting?

Or, did they take that final step at some point and they’ve been married and living together, potentially for decades?

(also, if you’re into symbolism, smoking a pipe is an old trick to imply SMOKING a PIPE. you’re welcome)

No matter which way you cut it, Danny has come to see Steve as an integral part of his life, lovingly woven into every fiber and inextricable from himself. Much like Steve did in his hallucinations, Danny refuses to see a life without him and wants to grow old with him, bickering and bantering to their heart’s desire, maybe even living together. Their relationship permeates every aspect of his life, it being the greatest relationship he’s built outside of the ones with his children, and he wants to live out his days by his side. Whether figurative or literal, that sounds like a marriage to me, and to Danny, too.

[closetofanxiety]

Book Review: “Queen of the Ring,” by Jeff Leen

Let’s read about the most important figure in 20th century women’s wrestling, who the WWE pretends does not exist!

Last month, when the WWE announced it was going to name its first-ever women’s battle royal, to be held at this year’s Wrestlemania, after the Fabulous Moolah, the wrestling sector of the Internet collectively threw up. While Vince McMahon’s family empire has tried for years to cast the late Lillian Ellison as a pioneering proto-feminist kicking down doors in the boys’ club of professional wrestling, too many people nowadays know the truth: she was, among other things, a pimp, a bigot, and a non-existent draw who held back U.S. women’s wrestling for decades.

But the shame is, there really is a woman who did all the things the WWE attributes to Moolah, but she’s been almost totally forgotten, even by the history-savvy wrestling fans who successfully cowed McMahon into changing the name of his battle royal.

Mildred Burke - born Mildred Bliss - was, during her heyday in the late 1940s, a genuine star of the burgeoning television era, a woman wrestler who outdrew most men, and usually headlined over them as well. In contrast to Moolah, whose matches consisted primarily of hair pulling, Burke was a legitimate “shooter,” able to apply genuinely painful wrestling holds if she had to, a skill she picked up as a teenaged mother working in the Midwestern carnival circuit. Dripping in diamonds, hobnobbing with Hollywood stars, being greeted by the President of Cuba on a tour of that country, she did all that in the midst of a climate of fierce opposition to women wrestling at all: women were banned from rings in New York and California, and Burke was held up as an example of degradation by everyone from Christian pastors to Earl Warren to Nazi propagandists. 

From that height, Burke would, in just a few years from her peak, be right back to where she was before she got into wrestling: serving her mother’s chili as a waitress in a small diner.

The story of that rise and fall is largely a story of her relationship with one man, Billy Wolfe, who rose from being a midcard heel wrestler working the Midwest in the 1920s to the person responsible for essentially every women’s wrestling match in the country during the boom period that followed World War II. As Jeff Leen - investigative editor for the Washington Post, who seems to have read every contemporary newspaper article ever penned about Burke, and ably handles her story - makes clear, Wolfe was among the sleaziest human beings in the history of professional wrestling, an astonishingly unpleasant distinction to have. He was abusive, cruel, and unfaithful from the beginning, and once the two of them began to have success - for, despite his shortcomings as a human being, Wolfe had a true genius for promotion - their marriage essentially became a business partnership marked by mutual loathing. The low point came when Burke, after years on top of the business, refused to put over Wolfe’s new chosen wrestler, and in response he and his son from another marriage, who had become Burke’s lover, beat her senseless in the parking lot of a liquor store.

When Burke and Wolfe split, it was the end of her reign, and practically the end of women’s wrestling in the United States. By that point, the business was controlled by the promoters’ cartel called the National Wrestling Alliance, which was able to strangle any competition - this worked in Burke’s favor when she was Wolfe’s champion, and very much against her when she was not. 

The dispute between them came down to that rarest of things, a shoot match: booked into Atlanta, Burke wrestled June Byers for the women’s world championship. It’s one of the most famous matches of the century among wrestling historians, both because of its non-worked nature, and because of the outcome: Byers won the first fall, but in an era when title matches were always decided in a two-of-three-falls match, the referee stopped the bout before a second fall had occurred, throwing the championship into doubt forever. The NWA stepped in to head off the intensely negative publicity, and in the process, decided to put a two-year moratorium on women’s wrestling altogether.

As Leen makes clear, the NWA never had any interest in supporting a woman over a man, even a man like Wolfe, who most of the promoters regarded as little more than a pimp. Sam Muchnick, the St. Louis promoter who ruled the NWA during its glory years with a stuffy propriety, is revealed by Leen as another callow misogynist, sniffing that "This is a man’s organization” and that women had no place in it, a view shared by his champion, Lou Thesz, who refused to wrestle on cards that also featured women.

The NWA settled the dispute between Wolfe and Burke by arranging Burke’s buyout of her ex-husband’s booking business that was, from start to finish, a double-cross: the men who fronted the money for the deal were lawyers who worked for Wolfe, and, with legal ethics that Roy Cohn might envy, almost immediately called in their loans, bankrupting Burke. 

Unable to work in the U.S., Burke toured Japan in 1954, where she had a phenomenally successful run that led to the creation of multiple Japanese women’s promotions that eventually merged into All Japan Women’s Pro Wrestling, whose world and tag team titles were created by Burke. AJW would go on to set a standard for both popularity and overall quality in women’s wrestling that, to this day, has never been surpassed.

Burke never got to enjoy that success much - the NWA’s Honolulu office complained about her presence in Japan, effectively blackballing her from the country. She worked a variety of odd jobs in southern California, supported by her son, who made good in the booming defense industry there. By the early 1970s, she was pioneering something else in women’s wrestling - “custom matches,” shot on film in small rooms and purchased by individual customers. In the beginning, these were nothing more than wrestling matches, but later, under the company name Star Films, they essentially became softcore porn, with topless matches, bikini matches, and the beginnings of what would become “apartment wrestling.” 

Burke was deeply, if understandably, embittered by her experiences, and if there’s any major fault with Leen’s book, is that he sometimes takes her unpublished memoirs too much at face value. Wrestling was, particularly in those days, a business that relied on sleight of hand and suspension of disbelief, and Burke’s autobiography was apparently full exaggerations, distortions, and plain falsehoods. Remembering her shoot with June Byers as a major triumph before an enraptured crowd, Burke is at odds with literally every other account of that night, which have the referee stopping the match because, after an hour, the crowd was bored and starting to leave. Shoot matches, as it happens, just aren’t all that fun to watch.

Very few people come off well in this book: Burke herself is vengeful and paranoid at the height of her fame, believing every bump in the ring was a trick by Wolfe to double-cross her and take her title; Wolfe is unimaginably repugnant; her lover, Wolfe’s son, is a rum-sodden weakling who eventually knuckles under to his father’s brutality and betrays Burke; the entire wrestling industry is run by crooks, either hypocrites like Muchnick or soiled eccentrics like Jack Pfefer, who manages to get women’s matches in northern New Jersey the attention of the New York City press while privately calling women wrestlers “lower than dogs.” Among her wrestling peers, only Oklahoma promoter Leroy McGuirk - who gave Jim Ross his start in wrestling - and Gorgeous George come off well. The former fought for Burke against his NWA peers, while the latter, “one of God’s noblemen” in Burke’s phrase, came up to her in a dressing room at the nadir of her money troubles and pressed an envelope with $5,000 in cash - the equivalent of about $47,000 today - into her hand. “There,” he said. “Take that and beat that son of a bitch,” meaning Wolfe.

Burke did not beat Wolfe, although the nastiness of his feud with her and the general downturn in the wrestling business from the mid-1950s laid him low. He died of a heart attack in 1963, at the age of 66, shortly after his seventh and final marriage, to a 17-year-old. His son, Burke’s ex-lover, who had left the wrestling business, died a year later.

Burke outlived them by decades, but, shut out of the wrestling business, which was controlled by Moolah for decades, she never got the credit she was due. Hopefully today, in what is honestly a golden age for women’s wrestling in the United States, that will change, and Mildred Burke will be recognized as the pioneer and champion she was. Leen’s book is the best place to start with restoring her to prominence.

[thatsthepan]

Beauty King

Summary: Nothing has been stopping Dan from making a makeup video but himself. So he does. Simple as that.

Word Count: 2,645

Warnings: Mild swearing?

Notes: So this has been sitting, finished and edited by the lovely @cantcatchmegaythoughts, for weeks now, but I’ve been so busy with AP exams and prom that I kinda forgot about it. So without further ado I give you my makeup Dan fic! I hope y’all enjoy, and leave a response in my ask if you get a chance, please!:)

Dan

I spend at least three days thinking things over before actually going through with anything. People sometimes assumed I was the fun spontaneous one, and that Phil was more mature and responsible. It was probably because he was older, and more innocent, but it wasn’t the way things worked with us. Phil randomly bought things we didn’t need at Tesco at three in the morning. I planned tweets three days in advance. We balanced each other out, and that was fine by us.

The thing the annoyed me about my planning was the process. The outcome was generally fine, but the process was a pain in the ass. The first day was thinking over what I would say, or do, or buy, and the reasons why it was a good and bad idea. If I ended up deeming it a good idea, the next day I would go through the cycle of “Should I ask? Should I really do this? Do I actually want to buy this? What are the pros? Do they outweigh the cons?” And so forth.

But the third day was when I actually grew up and made myself do whatever the thing was that I had been planning. And this time, it was a makeup video.

The first day I thought of it, I mapped out the video, scrapping the idea about nine times before I finally realized I’d need help on this one. So then I planned on asking Louise, and then planned how I would, and thought over what she would say. The second day was a long and tedious series of “Would she agree? Can I really go through with uploading this video, or will it sit in a folder on my laptop in pieces like so many other past videos? How much makeup should I do? Should I upload a picture first? Should I drop hints? Does anyone suspect this?” Every question was a long and tedious decision, and I could tell Phil knew I was up to something.

I didn’t want to tell him, though, for whatever reason. I felt like I had to be sneaky, and surprise him along with everyone else. I knew Phil was so proud of how far I’d come, and I knew that this video would make his day. He loved seeing me break gender roles, and I loved seeing him smile.

Finally, the third day came, and I made sure Phil wasn’t eavesdropping when I called Louise.

“Hey, Lou,” I said immediately, not letting her answer her own phone. It was a game we’d been playing for a few years now, and it was silly but tradition to us.

Louise giggled into the phone, knowing I’d won this round. “Hello, Dan. How’re you guys? The unpacking going well?”

I snorted into the phone, picking up a pillow to muffle a scream before calmly answering, “Of course. Couldn’t be better. We so love boxes. And mess. And organizing.”

Louise cracked up, making me smile with her genuine ugly laugh. Louise and I thought each other were absolutely hilarious, and even though Phil would always be my best friend, he was also my boyfriend. It was nice to have someone I didn’t want to kiss every time I heard them laugh.

“You’re ridiculous. But you didn’t call me for nothing, love, so get on with it.”

Rolling my eyes, I got straight to the point. “I need you to help me with a video.”

I could hear Louise’s smile through the static of the phone. She’d been waiting for this call for awhile. She gave me the benefit of the doubt, however, asking “Oh? And what kind of video might that be?”

“A fucking porno, Lou, what else?”

We both burst out laughing, taking a few moments to compose ourselves before speaking.

“I’m so happy you finally decided to do this! What should I bring? Do you want to go to the store to get your own stuff? Should it be a tutorial, or just a “Louise Does My Makeup” vid?”

Of all the things I’d thought over, none of these questions had factored in. “Um.”

“Oh Dan. You really do need my help, don’t you?”

Clearly, I did. “Yes, mom, please teach me the ways of the beauty,” I said sarcastically, only half-kidding.

“Fuck yourself, child, I’m only seven years older than you as of Friday.”

“Mooommmmm…”

“I’m blocking you.”

I snickered. “No, don’t! I’ll behave just please help me.”

Sighing, Louise paused. “Okay, firstly, what kind of video do you want to do?”

I thought it over. “I want to do my own makeup, but I don’t want it to be a tutorial. What would that be called?”

“Hmm. It could be a how I do my makeup one? Or maybe just come up with a clever title.”

I made a sound of agreement, the wheels already turning in my brain. Louise sensed this, moving on to the next question.

“How much makeup are you wanting to do? Full-face, just eye makeup, just base and contour…?”

I’d somewhat thought of this already, so my answer was quicker. “Full-face, I think, but also my nails?”

Louise hummed in approval. “Getting bold, are we?”

I snorted, mumbled “It’s high damn time”, and we moved on to the next part.

“I assume you want your own products, right? We are very different-looking people, after all.”

That was true. “Yeah, but I want you to come with me because I have no idea what I’m doing. But also bring your makeup because we’re both doing this, and also we need nail polish.”

I could tell Louise was grinning. “You’re really brave for doing this, you know that? 2009 Dan would be having a stroke right now.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. New year new me, blah blah blah.”

Chuckling, Louise’s tone shifted a bit. “Does Phil..?”

I smiled to myself, suddenly bashful. “Uh, yeah, no. No he doesn’t know and no he’s not doing his makeup too. I just-I kinda want to surprise him, you know? But he’ll probably suspect it anyways so I don’t know why I’m being a sneaky shit.”

Louise was quiet for a while, worrying me, but she had just been processing the situation. “No, I don’t think he will,” she began, sounding serious. “Phil’s a bit oblivious at times, you know that. And if you have no makeup around the house, then he has no reason to just assume you’ve made up your mind. But I do think surprising him is very sneaky and cute of you.”

My face was hot, even though she couldn’t see me. “Thanks, but not really. I just really kind of want to see what I look like with makeup on.”

Louise burst out laughing again, making me smile.

“You’re a selfish bitch, but a good-intentioned one. I’ll see you tomorrow, love!”

***

“Where ya going?” Phil called, and I nearly smacked into the wall on the way over to him in the lounge. I was still adjusting to this flat, not to mention stepping over boxes in every direction.

“Louise’s,” I answered, acting as casual as possible.

Phil didn’t look up from the book he was reading, sat in the middle of the floor next to a box as if he’d been unloading it. As if.

“Oh, cool. Can I come?”

My heart beat just a little faster, and I remembered how bad I was at lying. “Eh, we’re just having a girls’ day,” I forced a laugh, hoping I hadn’t given away too much. “You’d be really bored.”

Looking hurt, Phil’s eyes flickered. “I would not. But okay, you two have fun. Text me when you’re on your way home and I’ll order pizza.”

I felt awful for hurting his feelings, but I really didn’t want to tell him about the video. Dodging boxes and miscellaneous piles of crap littering the room, I knelt down behind Phil, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his shoulder. “I love youuuuu,” I sang, feeling his smile when he kissed my cheek.

“Love you too, bear. Tell Lou I said hi.”

***

“How many aisles of makeup can there possibly be?!”

Louise was worriedly glancing at the appalled expression on my face, the sheer amount of products before us scaring the hell out of me. This was going to be a mess. I had no idea what I was doing, no idea what to buy, I didn’t even know what look I was going for-

“Dan, sweetie, breathe. It’s a lot easier than you think, I promise.”

I breathed, and Louise took my hand in hers. “Lipstick?”

“Black, obviously.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Really? That dark for the first ever time people see you with makeup?”

I shrugged. “I did black on my nails the first time I painted them, so might as well. Maybe dark red, I don’t know.”

We decided on dark red. We also decided smokey eye, eyeliner, highlighter, contour, foundation, mascara, lip liner, primer (which I didn’t know was a thing), eyebrow pencil-the whole package. And I picked sparkly black nail polish this time-might as well mix the last two colors.

When we got back to Louise’s house and had set the camera’s up, I began to get nervous. I had almost bit down on my nail before Louise all but slapped me, looking furious.

“You will not. We are literally about to start this and you want to bite your nails? Are you actually mad?”

I tried to hide my grin, but Louise’s face softened at it nonetheless. “What?” she asked, trying not to smile herself.

“You do sound like a mom.”

Slapping my arm for real this time, Louise called for Darcy, who came running at me like a bullet. I hugged her as Louise asked, “Darcy, what does mommy do when you bite your nails?”

“Doesn’t let me paint them! She’s mean, Dan.”

I chuckled at Louise’s smug expression, still feeling nervous but excited at the same time. As we started the video, I kept imagining what Phil’s reaction would be, more than anyone else’s. Would he be surprised at all? Would he like it? Would I like it?

It turned out, I did. A lot. I couldn’t stop looking at my reflection in Louise’s mirror, amazed by how different my face looked. I looked… stunning, if I was being honest, and I wondered why I’d been such a little bitch about doing this before now. I guess I was just scared, was all, but I was 100% glad I’d conquered that fear because damn, was I hot.

Louise was amazed too. “I hate you,” she muttered at one point, making me burst out laughing.

“You look better,” I assured her, but she just glared.

“Oh, fuck you, you’re the pretty friend. Darcy, come here!”

I didn’t know how Darcy would react, which made me worry for a brief moment, even if she was only six. But her reaction was priceless, and I had tears in my eyes after she finished squealing.

“Oh my goodness you’re so pretty! Mommy, look at his eyes!” Darcy’s little hands were fluttering all around my face, making me grin in amusement. “He looks like a princess! No, a queen! Is it okay if you’re a queen instead of a king Dan? Because I’ve never seen a king with makeup before!”

“He can be a beauty king too, Darce,” Louise smiled at me, and I smiled at the floor. Taking the makeup off made me sad, but I made sure I took lots of selfies and aesthetic photos before I did.

I couldn’t wait to see what Phil thought of the video.

***

It was 10:30 before I got home that night, and the flat was quiet. I opened the door of the lounge quietly, finding Phil asleep on the floor next to his book. He looked so adorable laying in the midst of all this chaos, perfectly at peace, that I had to take a couple of pictures. I laid next to him on the floor, posting one of the pictures on Twitter with the caption Guess it’s my turn to take sleep creepshots. After about five minutes Phil rolled over, groaning and blinking at me, inches away from his face.

“This floor is less comfortable than the old flat’s.”

I smiled nostalgically, reaching over and playing with the fringe over his eyes. “Then why are you sleeping on it, silly?”

Phil smiled sleepily, snatching my hand before I could put it back down. “Guess you and Lou did have a girls’ day, huh?”

Letting him examine the glittering abyss of my nails, I smiled sheepishly. “You have no idea.”

***

I spent all night editing the video, even making a bloopers one that may or may not get uploaded, which included the part with Darcy freaking out that we’d unknowingly filmed. I was exhausted the next morning, and Phil noticed.

“What were you doing all night last night?” he casually asked, digging in one of the kitchen boxes for the cereal.

“Editing,” I muttered, sitting on the floor and leaning against one of the cupboards since the dining table had shit piled all over it.

“When did you film?” Phil turned around, looking interested, and I mentally slapped myself for giving anything away.

“Couple days ago,” I lied, closing my eyes and jumping when Phil’s hands pressed against either side of my face. I opened one eye, seeing his face directly in front of mine, smiling knowingly.

“You’re hiding something from me.”

“You’re hiding the cereal from me.”

We stared at each other until I broke, kissing the tip of his nose and standing abruptly. “Can we please eat, I’m not kidding.”

The day went by slowly, but when I finally hit upload on the video, I hurried to stand outside the lounge, able to clearly hear everything because of that damn glass wall. I heard the notification on Phil’s phone ding, heard him drop his book to turn the volume up on his phone, and heard my “Hello internet…”

I listened to the entire video, smiling at certain parts and wanting to see Phil’s face more than I’d ever wanted to see anything before. When it finally ended, I didn’t hear Phil getting up, and frowned, wondering what he was doing. I’d expected him to come running to ask me about the video, but after a few minutes I began to wonder if he’d even liked the video at all. My phone buzzed, and I had to blink blurriness out of eyes to see what Phil had posted.

It was a picture of me without makeup and a screenshot from the end of the video, side by side, with the caption He’s beautiful with or without makeup, isn’t he?

“You sneaky, pretty little shit.”

I nearly screamed when Phil spoke, arms crossed and standing directly in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him open the door to the lounge, let alone walk halfway down the hall. My heart was still in my throat when Phil kissed me, not letting me speak and completely taking me by surprise. When I got the chance to breathe, all I asked was, “So? Did you like it?”

Phil looked at me with so much love in his eyes that I felt my throat tighten again, and I knew the video would be worth every last second, just to make Phil this happy.

“I’m stunned. That you went through with it, that you looked just that damn gorgeous, and that you hid the whole thing from me!” The last part was accompanied with a glare, and I grinned, unashamed.

“So you liked it?”

Kissing me again, Phil whispered, “I loved it, bear. You’re beautiful, and you should know that.”

I smiled, happy with the choices I’d made. “I’m learning.”

“Good. It’s long overdue.”

[evenstevensranked]

#39: Season 1, Episode 16 - “Luscious Lou”

After a massive content drought... We are back! This week, Louis joins the wrestling team!! It’s surprisingly going pretty well for him — until he finds out that his major competitor from a neighboring school is a girl. Oh, boy. Typical junior high sexism ensues. Meanwhile, Ren tries to get back at Louis for a prank he pulled on her. 

This one starts off with Ren getting caught in a net trap made by Louis. She’s cursing his name when Steve comes to her rescue. He tells her she can’t be so quick to assume that Louis made the trap.. but is shut down immediately when Ren hands him a piece of paper that says…

I always liked this. Louis is so freaking condescendingly sarcastic sometimes.

Anyway, this highlights just how much free time Louis has on his hands. So Steve encourages him to “use it for good instead of evil” and join an after school activity. Louis tells Twitty and Tawny about the situation and they start brainstorming sports Louis could do... But, pretty much come to the conclusion that he sucks at everything. My favorite line here is “What about cross country?” / “Nah, he gets cramped up and winded just from tying his shoes.” - S A M E. This whole convo is actually really lighthearted and funny on Tawny and Twitty’s end, but Louis is caught in the middle and a lil upset. "There's helping, and then there's hurting guys” he says.

They run into Coach Tugnut and Louis asks him if he can join a sports team. Tugnut lifts him up and tries to gauge his weight and just like that, Louis makes the wrestling team. I’m pretty sure that’s not how joining the wrestling team works irl. 

“How much do you weigh, Stevens? 104, 105?”

“........uh, th-that’s a personal question, Coach.” (I’m dying) 

Tugnut randomly lifts up Twitty as well and says “Haven’t seen you in a while, thought I’d lift you up.” It’s such a bizarre and out of left field moment. I feel like it was written in last minute for the heck of it. It’s great, though. Certain offbeat moments like this that work are what help make the show unique and quirky, imo. The fact that there’s no laugh track makes it even better. It’s dry and awkward and reminds me of a bit you’d see on Portlandia or something.  

I bet Tugnut previously impacted Lenny The Lifter’s life in some way. 

Later that day back at home, Ren and Steve are in their back yard which does not look like their back yard at all for whatever reason. Ren is rigging a lawn chair to break for whenever Louis may or may not sit in it. Not exactly the best idea. Steve happens to be looking through an old box of photos here, one of which is of Louis as a lil nakey baby wearing a cowboy hat. 

Steve: “There’s ol’ Lou! Never the shy one!” Ren: “...And he still watches TV that way. It's very disturbing." 

Just picturing fully grown Season 1 Louis lying on the ground in a cowboy hat with his name on it, butt naked in front of the television like it's no biggie, has me dying right now. I just can't. Donnie ends up sitting in the rigged chair and falling, all while eating a cupcake. He says “I need to lay off the deserts” as if his non-existent obesity broke the chair -- which is pretty funny.

Something I love about certain comedy shows is when a scene will abruptly start with the tail end of an unrelated, absurd line. I don’t really know how else to explain it, but that’s what we get next. It cuts to gym class and we hear Tugnut casually say “...but before we get to those finger tip push-ups with a partner on your back -- let me introduce the newest member of our team, Louis Stevens." Which is just hilarious to me. It’s so easy to miss, but the imagery is so great. Take a minute to imagine flimsy middle schoolers trying to do that. Just another reason why Tugnut is an unfit and frankly abusive educator, lol.

Here is where we see that Louis initially thinks the wrestling team is going to be like freaking WWE Monday Night Raw and says "Although, I've never gotten hit in the back of the head with a folding chair... I'll try to make it look as real as possible." It. Is. Fantastic. Tugnut is quick to let him know it ain’t pro wrestling. Then we get a montage (which must span at least a few days/weeks) of Louis’ progress from ridiculous, uncoordinated weakling -- to pretty decent wrestler! I love this so much! Partially because there’s this one bit: 

^ LOUIS IS LITERALLY MEEEEE!!!! No exaggeration. I once auditioned for the touring production of Green Day’s “American Idiot” and holy crap the choreo they taught and expected us to know within a few minutes murdered me. I was seriously THAT person. When everyone was up, I was down. When everyone was down, I was up. So unbelievably embarrassing. Needless to say, I didn’t receive another callback after that, lol. I feel like this might be another reason why Louis is my fave. No, yeah. It’s definitely a reason.

He gets better and better over time, and seeing Louis with determination for something that's not lazy and takes hard, physical work -- is honestly so attractive. I know Shia was, like... 14 here but... Oh, well. He was my first TV crush okay?! And watching this show takes me back in time. I MISS LOUIS STEVENS! If Shia ever reprised his role as an adult, I’d ascend into heaven right then and there. 

Of course, this newfound ability to wrestle decently goes to Louis' head once again. He’s bragging to the other kids "I'm a quiet snake. I just sneak up. I go *hiss*! Nagurski, he can't mess with me. Look at these pipes!!!" I feel like all of this is ad-libbed. He’s sort of stuttering and pausing, trying to think of what to say next. I love Shia LaBeouf. But then suddenly a girl rolls up on her bike. "Are you guys on the wrestling team?" she asks. Louis obviously thinks she's coming onto them. "Yes. Louis Stevens, Olympic hopeful" is how he introduces himself to her and I am dead. "Mimi Nagurski, destroyer of dreams” is her response. THIS IS PERFECT. Louis was brought straight down a peg right there. Yep. He finds out Nagurski is... a girlski. (Forget that I ever made that rhyme immediately.)

It’s like he’s questioning the meaning of life.

“Imagine losing to a girl?!” the other teammates say and laugh. Oh, man. The sexism is cringy. But, I know that it's a thing. Especially among teen boys in 2001... Dang. 

He goes to Twitty to talk about the issue and Twitty’s oh so comforting words are "You know what a win/win situation is, right? Well, this is just like that -- except it’s a lose/lose." Thanks, Twitty. Even so, Louis genuinely says he's not gonna quit the team or back down from the match. He's been working really hard and actually likes the sport. He's also happy about making his dad proud, as Steve used to be a wrestler himself back in the day. Aww. 

As far as Ren’s plot goes... She spends the whole week/episode trying to get back at Louis for trapping her. She fails and ends up accidentally getting Donnie instead. Since Donnie is very underappreciated, I really like his moments here. 

Even though Louis doesn’t want to quit the team, he still doesn’t want to have to fight a girl either. Once he realizes that the team is divided by weight, he gets the brilliant idea (sarcasm) to eat as much food as he can in 20 hours in an attempt to gain 9 pounds and bump up to the next weight class. I am positive that's not how the digestive system and weight gaining process works but, ok. Wow, Louis. Wow. This kid risked going into a diabetic coma just so he wouldn’t have to fight a girl. 

And, yes. This is when he has that iconic nightmare that all the fat went to his butt: 

He ends up having what I assume is terrible diarrhea and gas, if the explosion noises coming from the bathroom are any indication. Disney coming through with those mature, high brow jokes there! (more sarcasm) Poop is funny!!1!! XD

At the next weigh-in, Louis is still trying to find a way out of the match until the last minute by hiding two frying pans under his jacket. 

“Stevens, you have two frying pans around your neck.” // “I do???” - Why is this so funny?

Obviously, Louis’ weight gain idea failed and he’s still 105, in Mimi’s weight class. But, as an even worse last minute attempt of getting out of the match, he sneakily puts his foot on the scale when Mimi’s being weighed -- which puts her over 123 pounds, lol. “Oh... I thought I saw a bug.” SLICK, LOUIS. Real slick. 

Now, we’ve made it to the match! Louis is mysteriously absent when announced by the ref. Until, you hear animal growls and metal music start playing. That’s when Luscious Lou makes his grand entrance. (See cover image.) “I’m Luscious Lou and I love you, sir! There’s love in my heart. No hate, no hate. Just love. That’s all. That’s all I can give.” Was that an unintentional Backstreet Boys quote? I also feel like this is all an ad-lib. It’s really great. Shia’s delivery is always on-point regardless.

In hindsight, it’d be much funnier if this bit wasn’t rooted in Louis’ internalized sexism. Oh, no. Is my inner Tumblr SJW jumping out??? Ah. I really do feel that way, tbh. If he wasn’t trying to get himself disqualified and genuinely acted like this because he’s just a hilarious person like that, I’d find it much funnier today. Instead, it comes across as cringy and sad. Like, I’m so embarrassed for everyone involved in this fictional universe while watching it. In a way, I think that’s the point though. Steve and Ren are confused and disappointed in the stands. Louis is making a fool of himself. The school’s reputation is on the line. Mimi is insulted. It’s... yeah. 

I’m not sure “Luscious” is the best word to describe Lou. 

Thankfully, Louis decides to do the right thing and fight Mimi fair and square. “Hey, Nagurski! Let’s dance.” AYYYYYY! It’s slightly epic. During the fight Steve yells “Take him down!! Oh.. take HER down! Guy, girl, it doesn’t matter. Take THAT PERSON down!!!” - This is so life in 2017. It’s true though. Louis wins the match and Mimi’s respect. So, that’s cool. 

This episodes’ final minute bit is also pretty good. Ren finally pulls a solid prank on Louis by making him think she printed that naked baby photo of him on the cover of the school newspaper, lol. 

All in all, this is a good episode! We’re into the #30s now, so every episode is pretty much stellar to some degree from now on. Shia really shines in this episode and we get to see some different sides to Louis as well, which is always nice. 

Thanks for reading!! Please share your thoughts below! :) 

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[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

New Perspective: A Solangelo Fanfiction

Drew’s the best and also the worst, and also I haven’t written a lot of witty dialogue lately, I missed that. So you know I had to bring back some of the snap. Also all the lube available and Nico with a ponytail. Cause you know, those things should never be mutually exclusive in fanfiction ;) 

(this fic takes place after the events of Lover-Cares)

Enjoy!

Read on AO3

Preview:

“Nico, what the heck?” Austin said, looking rather startled. “Did you seriously just refer to yourself in the third person.”              

“It’s never too early for some good old fashion dissociation and self-hatred my guy,” Nico said with a probably terrifying half-smile half-baring of teeth he cheers his coffee and downed it. Noting Kayla and Austin’s genuinely unamused faces, he scoffed. “My comedic skills are lost on you people, I swear.”

“—I’m just saying, Drew Tanaka can shove it up hers if she has enough room besides the giant stick up her butt,” Kayla fumed, and Nico couldn’t help but look up from where he was absentmindedly stirring him cream of wheat. “I swear sometimes I just want to smack that girl upside the head, and the Stolls, and—“

               “—and Nico di Angelo, by the gods he’s such an asshole am I right?” Nico said irritably as he took a sip of his coffee, watching as Sebastian from Aphrodite Cabin and Malcom from Athena Cabin got into an argument about if Beyoncé was or was not the most influential philosopher who tackled the properties of love and relationships in modern time.

               “Nico, what the heck?” Austin said, looking rather startled. “Did you seriously just refer to yourself in the third person.”

               “It’s never too early for some good old fashion dissociation and self-hatred my guy,” Nico said with a probably terrifying half-smile half-baring of teeth he cheers his coffee and downed it. Noting Kayla and Austin’s genuinely unamused faces, he scoffed. “My comedic skills are lost on you people, I swear.”

               “It’s more like you have a really screwed up sense of humor but alright man whatever floats your boat,” Kayla said with a shrug.

               Nico stewed in his general daily angst, definitely not upset that he hadn’t seen Will all morning because he was in charge of taking care of a camper, no, Nico was not that petty. Or at least, he was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t as he sat in the shadow of a tree that was diagonally across from the infirmary, a book laying on his lap that Nico wasn’t reading. He hadn’t managed to get any alone time with Will in so long, he was actually missing Will even though he had seen Will every single day, and his head wasn’t feeling so great.

               Pathetic, Nico thought at himself angrily, wanting to bash something or break something to get the raw feeling out from beneath his nails and his head. Get used to being around people and suddenly you are clinging again.

               “Oh hey there lover-boy, what’s the reason for the doom and gloom and the fact you obviously haven’t combed your hair?” Drew Tanaka said as she placed one hand on her hip and looked down at Nico as if he had walked out of his room wearing only orange from behind her pink eyeliner.

               “Oh wow, it’s almost like I can hear something…but I can’t quite make it out over the sound of all the hot air escaping your face,” Nico said saintly.

               “You are lucky you are hot and an asshole,” Drew Tanaka scoffed. “Otherwise being around you would be a chore.”

               “I’m gay, Drew.”

               “First off sweetie,” Drew said with the inflection she would give “cancer” or “Walmart clothing sale”, “did I say I wanted to suck face with discount Brendon Urie from circa 2005? No I did not. Stop projecting your insecurities onto me, every time you do so another fabulous bitch like me gets a blister when walking in heels to the club. Secondly just because you are gay does not mean you stop being hot. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive. “Mutually exclusive” meaning two things that cannot both be true at the same time, like eating bread on the Atkins diet or Ellis Wakefield not wanting to suck Markowitz’s dick when he walks into a room. Being gay and attractive can definitely both happen so deal with it, and it makes your shitty attitude worth it because I can appreciate good bone structure when I see it.”

               “Drew you are an awful human being,” Nico told her seriously, rubbing his temples adamantly. “Like really, is something wrong with you?”

               “What can I say, I’m just keeping it real,” Drew said with a toss of her hair. “So what’s got your panties in a twist? Is it Will?”

               “Drew, if you seriously think I’m going to talk to you about relationships you have another thing coming,” Nico said with a vague ache starting up behind his eyes.

               It was when Drew and Nico were about to have their version of a heart to heart (which was basically them insulting each other) when it sounded like the Asphodel Fields broke out in the center of camp. It looked like Butch from Iris Cabin was barely holding back Sherman as Lacy, Mitchell, and Sebastian milled on the edge of the archery fields. Julia Fiengold, who was good friends with Lacy, had planted herself by Lacy’s side but looked concerned as Alice casted a few solid glares in Sherman’s direction (and Nico wouldn’t have been surprised if she was carrying some serious prank artillery with her). Clovis had somehow fallen asleep on one of the white lines in the center of the archery field, and Nico found himself somewhat glad for it as Will had emerged from the infirmary to try to drag him off with the intervention of Lou Ellen and Cecil Markowitz—though they had all apparently dropped Clovis mid-carry as the fight broke out as he was snoring, looking rather at peace on the grass.

               “So what’s going on?” Nico asked in general as he and Drew approached the chaos.

               “Oh, you know, the daily life at CHB,” Will said weakly. “Honestly they had been arguing when I got here, I think things started escalating.”

               “What you are saying is disrespectful to all the warriors—!” Sherman half-screamed, looking very much like he wanted to shove Lacy out of a moving car. “Get off me Brony!”

               “Ugh, man, do not make me regret this or I swear!” Butch snapped at him.  

               “I was just saying…!” Lacy half-sobbed, her brothers who were comforting her looking like they were planning to switch out Sherman’s spears with makeup brushes and for Cover Girl makeup and lots of highlighter to be in Sherman’s immediate future.

“Wait, can we all hold up a hot second! What is happening and why is Tweedle Dumber threatening Lacy?” Drew said, holding out her hands and flipped her dark hair out of her face. There was charmspeak laden in her words, and with the threat of physical violence gone, the actual situation came out.

“So I was Iris messaging with Piper and she said that her dad told Jason he knew a plastic surgeon that could fix his lip and how Jason thought that was funny. But I said, oh that might be a good idea for scars, and then Sherman overheard me!” Lacy blurted out, her words a tumble of panic.

“A warrior should take pride in his scars, anything else is a weakness!” Sherman snapped back at her. Drew looked like she just rolled her eyes so hard she might have sprained something, and Nico just sat back and let the madness start as Drew opened her lipsticked-lips.

“Okay so I hear that Jason’s got some scars. I wouldn’t really know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with him on the account of someone cough cough Piper cough cough being absolutely sure I’m a homewrecker. I don’t know what the big deal is. If you don’t like something about your body, you should just change it. Or maybe not, maybe Jason needs his scar to get into some lesbian biker gang or maybe he’s leaving Piper and going on an Eat-Pray-Love style self-discovery vacation and the scars will help him sell his memoir as “a man with a troubled past takes the road to new enlightenment”. Anyways, it’s not like we haven’t all thought about something like that. I’m convinced every time that Jackson opens his gab Annabeth reasons over the pros and cons of mouth reduction surgery. I’m sure Butch’s thought of getting that rainbow tramp stamp removed because let’s be honest he’s not slaying the ladies with it—“

               “Drew I am going to kick you in the head—!“ Butch threatened.  

               “—Cecil has probably rifled through pamphlets about fixing that huge beak of his because he isn’t really using it to break nuts and seeds over here. And Alice has definitely thought about getting an eye-deslanting.”

               “Screw you Drew, that’s racist,” Alice Miyazawa scoffed, as Cecil suddenly turned to Lou Ellen who gave him an apologetic look in return.

               “Self-hating Asians oughtta stick together,” Drew retorted with a shrug.

               “I don’t think that’s necessarily true, Drew. I mean, sure, everyone has insecurities, but it’s also good to try to embrace them,” Will told Drew as he placed a hand on Alice's shoulder to keep the girl from giving Drew a probably well-earned knuckle sandwich.

               “Oh please, Solace, you’ve got a weird spiral belly button. You could frost it and pass it off as a cinnamon bun,” Drew said with a roll of her eyes, Nico had to cover the laugh of surprise that came out of him with his hand, and Will gave him a long-suffering look. “I’m just saying, there’s this thing called plastic surgery. It’s science. And if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see and also have the means, you should go for it. If you don’t want to, don’t. Simple as that. Passing judgment is so un-hot, and who knows? Maybe Jason will wake up from general anesthesia and realize who the hotter child of Aphrodite that he could be with is. Either way, what people do or do not decide to do with their bodies is no one else’s choice,” Drew said before with a final hair flip and sway of hip, Drew was off to terrorize another section of camp. With Hurricane Drew now over, the campers who had gathered dispersed to mutter amongst themselves, Sherman and Ellis and Butch grabbed Clovis by his appendages and dragging him off the field as he slept talk about Great White Sharks, macaroons, and a tennis racket.

               “I hate that girl with a fiery passion, but by all the Gods she’s a freaking insult-genius,” Lou Ellen said with a sort of strange awe.

               “And she really loves what she does,” Cecil said just as quietly. “She has a gift.”

               “Yeah she’s something alright,” Will noted before looking to Nico with an almost shy grin, bumping his shoulder against Nico’s. “Hey there, long time no see.”

               “Oh yuck, mushy feelings. We’re out,” Lou Ellen called as she and Cecil made kissy faces at Nico and Will before also walking off.  

               “How’s the infirmary?” Nico asked him as they began to walk, he tried to pat his hair down absently.

               “Not so busy, were you really busy? You look like you just rolled out of bed,” Will noted and Nico sighed heavily.

               “I desperately need a haircut,” Nico groaned, twisting a lock of hair around his fingers and trying to get it out of his eyes.

               “Well, why don’t I at least get you a hair tie? Kayla keeps a whole bunch on the desk,” Will offered.

               They walked to Apollo Cabin in companionable silence, when they got there Nico sat down on the bed as Will grabbed one of Kayla’s dark hair ties from her desk and his own brush. Kayla and Austin were spending their free period helping Nyssa and Harley with some new target practice gadget, so for once in a long time Cabin Seven was quiet.  

               “My hair’s pretty thick,” Nico warned him as well approached with a few things in hand, a brush among them.

               “I’ve got some spray in stuff,” Will offered, holding up a very suspicious slender bottle filled with what Nico would have assumed was a cream based dessert.

               “Isn’t that Aphrodite stuff?”

               “Personal grooming is not just an Aphrodite Cabin thing,” Will scoffed and Nico resisted making a son-of-Apollo-joke before Nico allowed him to do whatever he was planning on by motioning to the spot next to him, and he couldn’t help but sigh as Will’s fingers ran through his hair. “You have really nice hair though.”

               “It’s so dratted thick,” Nico scoffed, tugging at a renegade curl. “And it curls weirdly. I was thinking of maybe shaving it.”

               “Really?” Will asked and Nico felt the gentle tug of the brush through his hair.

               “Yeah, when my dad first gave me my card I tried to go to the hair dresser’s, but when they were shampooing my head and they started rubbing my scalp and stuff I really couldn’t take it. I almost kicked the lady in the leg,” Nico admitted awkwardly with a shudder at both the memory and how nice whatever Will was doing felt. “I’ve been trimming it myself ever since, I sort of forgot to though.”

               “That sounds like you,” Will laughed, and Nico could almost hear Will’s smile. That was the nice thing about Will’s voice, it didn’t hide anything, it was pure and genuine. “You aren’t a huge fan of other people touching you, are you?”

               “It’s hard when you don’t know them,” Nico groaned. “I’m normally fine when it’s people I don’t hate. You’re just too laid back.”

               “Maybe,” Will chuckled good-naturedly and Nico leaned his head back so he could see Will’s bright and slightly sheepish smile. “Hazard of the healing arts. I’ve gotten used to people touching me out of the blue because I heal them. I think your hesitance is one of your cute features anyways.”

               “You’re a weirdo,” Nico said with a roll of his eyes.

               “You’re the one dating a weirdo, what does that say about you?” Will asked, and with gentle fingers his pulled the hair that was about his neck up into a tie. Immediately, Nico felt his warm lips press against the back of his neck, making Nico jump slightly at the unexpected sensation. Will immediately moved back, but Nico grasped his arm and kept him close.

               “I know things have been awkward since…since last time,” Nico said quietly. “But I want you to touch me, I do.”

               “But you…you really hated it,” Will nearly whined, sitting back on his heels. “Honestly, I’m fine being on the bottom for the rest of my life if it makes you so uncomfortable.”

               “I didn’t hate it, I just froze,” Nico corrected him, before sighing heavily. “I’m…there’s a thing about me I wish I could change I guess.”

               “If you want to talk about it I’m open ears?” Will asked, and didn’t push. There was no trace of judgment in his features, and somehow that made Nico feel even more desolate.

               “I just…I’m always worried I’m being selfish.”

               “Nico, you are the most unselfish person I know,” Will said, eyes wide with shock, as he sat back on his heels thoughtfully. “I mean, holy Hera, you almost killed yourself for your friends and everyone else. You are constantly putting other people before yourself.”

               “I…” Nico tried to begin to explain, but just shook his head. “It’s just hard for me is all. Sometimes I feel like I don’t see you as much as I want to, but I know you’re busy. And then when I do see you, I’m uncooperative.”

               Will was quiet for a moment, before he felt Will’s hands slip beneath his shirt, Will’s mouth tenderly pressing against the back of his neck. Nico gasped as Will’s fingers brushed against his nipple.

               “Nico, this doesn’t feel uncooperative. This feels sensitive,” Will sighed as he continue to tease with loving mouth and hands in a way that made all of Nico’s blood travel south.  “And I would never want you to change that. So what if it takes a bit for you to get used to my touch? The fact I get to touch you at all makes me happy and then you make these noises that turn me on so much.”

               “Greedy asshole,” Nico snarked, turning to meet Will’s lips, opening his mouth so he could pull Will in deeper. Nico reached over to palm the very obvious heaviness in Will’s great sweatpants and smiled against Will’s lips. “Someone else is pretty sensitive too.”

               “Oh, yes, sometimes it’s good to be selfish,” Will told Nico with a sweet look that could have melted Nico, and Nico lay down and let Will lay his body on top, reveling in the delicious weight. “Especially when you have someone like me who could be happy spoiling you for the rest of your life. But please, give me a head’s up? I’m not a mind-reader so I appreciate specific directions.”

               “I can be pretty demanding,” Nico said somewhat weakly, reaching up to trace Will’s cheek. “If you give me a little bit, I’ll just want more.”

               “And I can be pretty stubborn, anything you want, I’ll be happy to give you,” Will promised him. “Just let me, Nico. Tell what you want.”

               “Can we try…again?” Nico asked, but his words stopped as Will caught his hand and kissed it, perking up immediately as Nico’s gaze drifted over to the left.

               “Of course,” Will asked him and Nico nodded and reached over to the bedside table Nico had been eyeing and opened up the drawer.

               “How should I…um?” Nico asked him and Will shrugged.

               “Do whatever you think will make you the most comfortable,” Will said as he unscrewed the bottle and almost doused his fingers in it, warming the lube between his fingers.

               “Alright,” Nico said, laying down on his stomach, helping Will place a pillow beneath his hips.

               “You can be selfish with me, Nico,” Will promised him as he kissed Nico’s neck and shoulder comfortingly, and Nico shuddered as he felt Will’s fingers gently rub against his entrance. Nico couldn’t understand why it felt so good, his whole body jolted as Will’s slick finger slid inside, the intrusion not entirely pleasant or unpleasant as he moved it. “Relax, as much as you can.”

               “It feels…weird…!” Nico admitted between clenched teeth, forcing his body to remain relaxed despite what urges he felt. He wanted to try this, Nico reminded himself.

               “Does it hurt?” Will asked worriedly and Nico shook his head. “Here, I’m going to add another one. Try to stay as loose as you can, alright?”

               Nico nodded and gripped the pillow, just as a second finger pressed inside of him with the help of ample lube. Nico fought and lost against the desire to clamp down, and his lack of control over his body’s reaction was damn near infuriating to him. As if sensing this by Nico’s stiff-lipped reaction Will reached down to slide his hand along Nico’s length, which had softened considerably at the previous activities. The smooth, almost comforting sensation of Will’s hand on him, and the gentle probing finally got Nico to relax.

               “It’s okay, Nico. You’re doing so good right now,” Will promised as he kissed Nico’s back.

               “Ugh…this feels so bizarre,” Nico couldn’t help but groan as he turned his head and gave Will a look.  

               “Does it hurt?” Will asked as his fingers continued to move inside Nico, and with him massaging and rubbing him on the inside and outside, a thankful sigh escaped Nico’s mouth. It was beginning to feel vaguely pleasant now, and he naturally relaxed against Will’s touch.

               “Trust me, you would know if it hurt,” Nico promised him. He could do this, Nico thought very rationally. It certainly didn’t feel bad, and judging by the hooded expression and the evidence of Will’s desire pressed against his thigh, if Will wanted to do this then—

               Suddenly Will found something inside of Nico that made him surge with pleasure, and his breath caught harshly in his throat. Will’s fingers hit it again more adamantly and Nico moaned into the sheets as he pressed back against Will’s fingers as he searched against for that feeling.

               “There!” Nico moaned demandingly. “Oh Gods, is that what I hit in you? Oh—that feels so good.”

               “Nico, allow me to introduce you to your prostate,” Will chuckled good-naturedly, as close as they were Nico could feel that rumble in Will’s belly, and it made Nico’s face get hotter.

               “Don’t be a dork,” Nico groaned. “Just do whatever you just did again.”

               “Alright then, needy,” Will teased, as Will’s fingers continued to scissor and rub and hit the plac inside of him that felt so good that Nico’s vision swam. His cock ached with desire, and Will removed his hand to grab the bottle and add a third very slick finger inside and Nico felt so full and so good that he couldn’t think straight. He wanted—needed more.  

               “I want you inside,” Nico blurted out, his hand reaching blindly and clamping on Will’s wrist. “Will, I want to feel you on the inside.”  

               “Shit!” Will said sharply, and Nico stared at him in concern. Will answered it with a delightfully embarrassed expression. “Sorry, that was—that was just really sexy, like whoa.”

               “Um…sorry?” Nico said, feeling himself blush hard because had those words really come out of his mouth? He couldn’t believe it himself.

               “Don’t be sorry, I feel like I deserve a pat on the back,” Will said with a wide smile that Nico returned before turning, hooking Will’s hips with his legs, and pulling Will down on top of him. Both of them laughed into their mouths as they kissed with more intensity, Will fumbling with the foil on the condom. He rolled it on and slicked it with lube, before reaching back to Nico with newly spread fingers.

               “No, I don’t need anymore more,” Nico complained half-heartedly, but spread his legs as Will’s fingers sank inside of him with relative ease. Oh Gods, Nico thought before his thoughts went fuzzy as Will crooked a finger and found a weak spot that had his jaw hanging open. He could get addicted to this, and now he totally got why Will was totally into this.

               “We have to make sure it doesn’t hurt, don’t we?” Will teased as he kissed Nico’s neck.

               “Just put it inside me,” Nico half-begged, half-growled.

               “Are you ready? You sure?”

               “Yes,” Nico agreed, his head nodding vigorously.

               “Alright then, your wish it my command,” Will chuckled, and Nico felt him line up and slid inside.

               They both moaned, the sensation was intense to say the least. There was the barest twinge of discomfort, but he had been so thoroughly prepared that it disappeared quickly as Will seated himself fully inside. What mattered most was the divine sensation that was making him tremble.

               “Oh Will,” Nico gasped breathlessly, wrapping his legs around Will’s hips as Will trembled. “I can feel you.”

               “I feel you too,” Will moaned, his eyes fluttered, and Nico couldn’t help but find his expression to be utterly adorable. “Oh gods you are so perfect, Nico. I love you so much.”

               “Yeah? Does it feel good?” Nico asked, unable to stop himself from smiling an odd grin as Will nodded desperately. “You can move, Will. I want you too. If it hurts I’ll tell you, I promise.”

               “You promise?” Will asked, faking being very obviously suspicious.

               “You’ll be the first to know, scout’s honor,” Nico said making a Live-Long-and Prosper sign with his hands. Will laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to Nico’s forehead.

               Will began to move in gentle controlled thrusts, Nico suspected it was half for him and half to keep Will from coming. But he couldn’t help but enjoy and be frustrated by the movements in equal measure because while it didn’t hurt, Will’s broad shoulders and larger chest was making Nico feel oddly caged. Finally, Nico pressed up on Will’s shoulder’s.

               “Will, I can’t breathe,” Nico told him between kisses. “Maybe change position?”

               “Yeah, uh, what do you want to…?” Will asked with a hitched breath as he pulled up, Nico let Will sit himself against the headboard and settled himself firmly on Will’s lap. “Better?”

               “Yeah, I can—oh,” Nico groaned as he latched onto Will, arms wrapped around Will’s back. In this position he could feel Will’s length, pressing in deep and filling him. Will bent down and their mouths melted against each other, and they rocked together, slightly unsteady as they worked together to find the perfect angle, or when Will reached down to grasp him, or Nico bucked up unexpectedly as Will once again struck his prostrate. Finally something was building up, white hot pleasure that Nico almost wished could keep building inside of him forever so he could keep burning with it, but it couldn’t happen. Nico moaned into Will’s mouth and felt himself come into Will’s hand. Will continued to move for a moment or two, thrusts uneven, and Nico felt a pulsing inside as Will came into the condom.

               Nico lay down as Will removed the condom and threw it out, falling back on the bed with an exhausted huff.

               “So what did you think?” Will asked, as they both tried to catch their breath and curling his arms around the pillow in front of him. Nico normally would have chastised him for getting sweat all over his pillows, but with Will stretched out looking so content and with those golden arms of his Nico just couldn’t fault him. Instead Nico grabbed the nearly empty lube bottle and held it up with a crook of his brow.

               “Are you kidding?”

               “What, you were totally into it and you were super hot and it helped, you’ll be thanking me when that wow-that-seat-was-uncomfortable ache doesn’t turn into a holy-shit-was-I-hit-by-a-train ache,” Will told him as he gave Nico a grin and a thumb’s up as he placed the bottle on the bed side table.

               “You are insufferable did you know that,” Nico sighed as he turned over to kiss Will’s shoulder and give his back an absent scratch, which had Will sighing in pleasure. “But yeah, that was pretty hot.”

               “Mm, I must have done something right for you to be so good to me,” Will said as he turned his head to look at Nico, eyes a deep hazy blue, a warm grin glinting across his teeth.

               “You are an idiot,” Nico sighed as he leaned down to kiss him. “But you are also disgustingly sweet.”

               “Don’t say it like a compliment or I’ll believe you like me or something,” Will teased as he pushed up to meet Nico’s mouth again.

               “How embarrassing that would be,” Nico murmured between brushes of lips. “It was good, Will.”

               “I’m totally down if you want to torture me with those sexy pianist fingers next,” Will told him, and Nico honestly couldn’t tell if he was being serious or joking. “I have more lube in my cabin—“

               “Will, seriously—?“    

               Nico sat down to get his hair cut by Mitchell, and could see Drew smirk at him from the corner of his eye. Nico immediately flipped her off. 

               Just another day at CHB. 

[keywestlou]

VIOLENCE TODAY, TOMORROW, WHEN?

Violence today, tomorrow, when?

A threat was made. the gauntlet thrown. Another Capitol invasion today. If not, perhaps the 6th. If not, when?

The U.S. is at war. Plain and simple. The opposition may be U.S. citizens. However, unhappy ones. As the South was prior to the Civil War.

January 6 was Fort Sumter.

Violence must be net with violence. Otherwise the opposition will continue.

The insurgents threaten in the extreme. This time to take prisoners. Democrats in the Capitol. Then harm them. To what extent, who knows.

I do not believe the government is sitting idly by. I am confident they know the location of most training camps, headquarters, persons in charge, etc. My advice: Get them now before they get us. Including any elected officials that have been silently aiding them.

Delay invites defeat.

China is moving “asses” to further protect against COVID-19.

China has made anal COVID-19 swabs mandatory for all foreign airline travelers arriving in China.

China claims such tests provide a higher degree of accuracy than other screening methods.

Anal testing presently being done at Beijing and Singapore Airports.

Apparently anal testing works better because virus traces stay longer in fecal samples than they do in the nose or throat.

Assume China is correct. Its anal testing will spread throughout China. Spread world wide also. Which raises a degree of concern in my mind.

The U.S. is a society that does not like to do certain things. Wearing face masks, an example. If we cannot get our people to wear face masks, how are we going to convince them to accept anal swabbing?

The Senate has narrowed income eligibility in order to qualify for the full $1,400 check, some portion thereof, or none at all.

I love it! Most if not all Senators are millionaires. Most have become so since arriving in the Senate. They are quick to take from those who have not. At the same time that the Senators and their families are living the good life.

Pigs!

Breaking news. Elaine Chao is the recently resigned Secretary of Transportation. She is Senator McConnell’s wife. She is recognized as a power figure in Washington.

She is of Chinese extraction. Her family also of course. Her parents reside in China. Do an extensive amount of shipping business in the U.S.

It has just come out that in December, while she still was Secretary of Transportation, the Department’s Inspector General referred her China related activities to the Department of Justice for possible criminal investigation. Justice refused to prosecute.

The Inspector General’s charge involved Chao’s “use of public office for private gain.”

Chao was Secretary of Transportation under George W. Bush also.

She and her husband’s personal worth has largely grown over the years.  They are part of those who have become exceptionally wealthy while holding public office.

Senator Ron Johnson is a fanatic. He behaves most times in a fanatical fashion. He is pro-Trump and pro-far right. He buys it all.

Anything to disrupt Democrats, of course.

The stimulus bill will becoming up before the Senate in a matter of days. It is more than 600 pages long. As is his right, Johnson has advised that he wants the Clerk of the Senate to read the bill before the Senate. It is anticipated it will take 10 hours.

The action of a youngster. A mature adult playing the game of government as a child would.

One thing I cannot understand. It is coming to my attention daily that more and more Floridians like DeSantis. They think he is doing a wonderful job. One item pleasing them is that he did not succumb to coronavirus warnings. He generally kept businesses open.

God help us if he ever becomes President. He will be as bad if not worse than Trump.

Texas Governor Abbott announced tuesday he is opening Texas 100 percent as of next wednesday. All businesses. Rescinding his mask mandate,also.

Last year, Abbott created a “strike force.” It consisted of business leaders and 4 medical experts. Their function was to advise the Governor on a safe plan with all things coronavirus affected. Including  restaurant openings and mask wearing.

It was revealed yesterday that Abbott did not consult 3 of his 4 medical advisers on lifting the mask order.

The Chairman of the Strike Force announced when the strike force was established the following: “Every recommendation, every action by the Governor, will be informed and based on hard data and the expertise of our chief medical advisers…..we will rely on their knowledge and expertise every step of the way.”

Does any one speak the truth anymore? People should be able to rely on the word of a Governor, for example. Perhaps not. We have learned we cannot depend on the word of a President.

Three U.S. Presidents were inaugurated on this day March 4. In different years, of course. All 3 regarded as “greats.” Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Syracuse beat Clemson this week 64-54. Made for 2 consecutive victories. Created a situation where Syracuse is back on the NCAA bubble.

Many Key West businesses survived the pandemic so far. Some even made money.

The reason therefore is Key West’s local Chamber of Commerce, the Key West Lodging Bureau, and Trip Adviser.

Money made. People got sick along the way, however.

Today’s Citizens’ Voice contained 2 interesting comments re Keys business.

The first, “Trip Adviser: After seeing the commercials, we assumed the Keys would be safe. Imagine our shock at the packed restaurants, lack of masks, horrible traffic and crowds. So much for truth in advertising, showing deserted beaches and calm streets instead of the zoo the Florida Keys really are. Shameful.”

The second, “No need for cruise ships. The City is packed without them.”

Enjoy your day!

—

DAY 38…..Greece the First Time

Posted on July 4, 2012 by Key West  Lou

Good bye Courmayeur and Chamonix!

Hello Camogli!

I had a three hour drive to get to Camogli yesterday. It took four. Construction. Two of three lanes closed. For 20 miles.

I have been vacationing too long. It seems I have acquired patience. It did not bother me. Plus, I had the Alps on each side of me. Great viewing at all times.

Castles accompanied me the whole way. Even as I got close to Camogli. Whereas I said yesterday they were about a mile apart, they seemed even closer during the drive. The castles are exciting to see. All different. Except for location. Each on top of a steep hill. Churches also, of course.

After viewing so many castles and being aware of the fighting that went on between them over the years, I do not know how Garibaldi got the various Kings to join in and create one nation in 1861. An accomplishment!

Clotheslines were with me also the whole trip. Even now in Camogli. Greece and Italy are loaded with them. It seems to be the only way to dry clothes in these countries. Clotheslines between windows and on balconies and terraces. Sometimes merely a rope between two windows.

I have been of the impression that there are no dryers because of the electrical problem. I have been asking the natives. They tell me no. It is because they prefer their clothes to be sun dried. I do not buy it. But…

Even million euro/dollar apartments hang their wet clothes out.

I suspect that if someone could invest a dryer that needed little or no electricity, Italians would run to buy them.

An interesting experience occurred on one of the thruways I was driving. Italian gas stops have restaurants and stores just as in the U.S. Not McDonald types. Better wholesome food. And anything else you can consider buying.

I had an ice cream. I was waiting in line to pay for it. A middle aged woman in a black dress was in front of me. She had made a 51 euro buy. A big buy for such a store. She told the girl behind the counter she had just became aware she had to feed the whole family in the evening.

The woman paid the 51 euros with three 20s. The girl checked out the bills. They use a machine to do it in Italy. No crossing with a marker.

The girl said the bills were no good. The woman got upset. I just got them from the bank, she said. She pulled out a large bunch of 20s. Tried to pay two more times. None of the bills good. Finally the woman paid with genuine Italian money.

Outside were two tough devious looking men watching the whole proceeding. She went out to them and the whole three got in a car and drove away.

The girl behind the counter spoke English. That is the reason I am able to relate this story. She explained it all to me afterwards. Apparently passing counterfeit bills a common problem in Italy.

Parking sucks in Camogli. The condominium I am using is located on the water. There is no parking on the water. Nor for a couple of blocks behind the rows of waterfront buildings. I had to park far far away. Then drag and roll my suitcase up and down little hills. Additionally Camogli is all steps. Reminded me of Rome. I had to carry the bag up the steps.

I find it amazing. Each time I am confronted by steps, they go up. Never down.

I am getting stronger. Six weeks ago I would have died. After all the hilly walking I have done this trip, my body is getting accustomed to it.

Every place I have visited has had a different flavor. As does Camogli. It is the Italy as I thought it would be. Old medieval buildings, steps, people chattering incessantly and loudly.

The buildings are medieval. Each more than a thousand years old. Along the waterfront, which by the way is the Mediterranean, they are six stories high. The first floor consists of stores and restaurants. Second through sixth floors apartments. No elevators in any of the buildings. Steep narrow staircases in each.

In the U.S. the higher the floor, generally the more expensive. Not in Camogli. Because of the lack of elevators the higher up you go, the cheaper the apartment.

Of course, no air conditioning in any of these buildings. Open windows and fans instead.

Camogli is on the western side of Italy. Significantly above Rome. Immediately next to Portofino. There is a mountain on the sea shore separating Camogli and Portofino. It is called Mount Portofino.

Last night, I ate in Camogli rather than run over to Portofino. I was tired from the drive. From what I am told, Camogli and Portofino are the same. Perhaps Portofino later today.

I had dinner at a sea side cafe around 11. Too late, I know. However, I was hungry.

I selected the cafe because there were white tablecloths and what turned out to be real silver and china glasses.

I was not disappointed. I had one terrific meal! The entree was lamb encased in ground pecan nuts . It was served on top of a bevy of cooked fruits and vegetables mixed. The key was the taste. There was an oil which appeared to keep the pecans attached to the lamb. Whatever, it was delicious. One of the finest meals I have ever enjoyed.

Greece was cheap dollar wise. Italy is expensive. Like 3-4 times.

I was tired after dinner. A bit bloated. It was after midnight. The area was still bustling. I went immediately to bed.

Enjoy your day!

VIOLENCE TODAY, TOMORROW, WHEN? was originally published on Key West Lou

[ladystylestores]

Nicolas Ghesquière Photographs Louis Vuitton’s Fall Campaign – WWD

https://ift.tt/2P0sqK2

Confinement pushed many fashion people to be creative in different ways, to move outside their comfort zone and usual perimeter of expression.

It gave Nicolas Ghesquière the bold idea to shoot Louis Vuitton’s fall campaign, his extensive “portrait gallery” as direct, sharp and carefully considered as his fashions, though with a lighter spirit. He even coaxed some full-on smiles.

“It was something I wanted to do for a long time, in a very humble way,” he said. “I thought it was interesting to add a new point of view for Vuitton, and they were kind enough to agree to take a risk on a very young, new photographer.”

Ghesquière laughed. He’s actually not such a newbie, recalling that he photographed his designs earlier in his career “to try to give them that second dimension,” and for years toted an old Leica to snap personal pics, accumulating boxes and boxes of images. “I think maturity, probably, and experience give you confidence to take positions you never took before,” he mused.

Mariam de Vinzelle  Courtesy Photo

His pitch to Vuitton chief executive officer Michael Burke and executive vice president Delphine Arnault was to bring coherence and unity in communication across multiple categories of product. “And I told them, ‘I think I’m ready to do that,’” he related in an exclusive interview.

Indeed, the campaign, slated to run over three months after it breaks Aug. 1 in Le Figaro, amalgamates what would have been several campaigns: showcasing not only the fall runway collection, but also the new Since 1854 range, plus permanent products designed long before Ghesquière arrived at the French luxury house in 2013.

Ghesquière acknowledged that one of the most challenging aspects was photographing the leather goods. “You know how essential handbags are at Vuitton, and we love handbags, but it is so hard to give handbags a great visual effect,” he said.

French actress Léa Seydoux, in perhaps the most joyful of the images, found a way to suspend a monogram Dauphine bag over her forearm and elbow as she folds her arms behind her head and lets out a laugh.

“There are so many things that I like about this picture: the attitude, the fact that he captured a genuine moment where I was laughing. He didn’t ask me to laugh on purpose,” Seydoux marveled. “As with everything he does, Nicolas was a pro. He knew exactly what he wanted, talked me through the brief and took the time to explain what he wanted to achieve. He guided the team and me throughout the session, creating a really relaxed atmosphere, so we got the shot very quickly.”

Léa Seydoux  Courtesy Photo

Ghesquière said his motivation to shoot a campaign was to “show that I could have a point of view.”

To be sure, the French designer said he has long been inspired by fashion photography “so it was interesting to be on the other side of the camera,” he said. “Some people have this crazy capacity to be so photogenic, and some other people that are so gorgeous in real life are not that easy to photograph. I mean, it is the reality and this is a discussion I have had with many photographers.”

He’s worked with the crème de la crème: Annie Leibovitz, Bruce Weber, Steven Meisel, David Sims, Juergen Teller, Collier Schorr, Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin among them. What’s more, Irving Penn has shot the designer’s portrait, and he attended a Penn fashion shoot for American Vogue featuring model Gemma Ward.

All have different working methods, and Ghesquière gleaned many insights.

“Some people can catch the moment very quickly, and the first picture will often be the right one. Bruce catches that moment of emotion that is very raw, and David has that gift, too,” he said. Penn, meanwhile, was all about building up the image slowly and methodically. “The way he was putting the girl and the clothes and the composition together was exactly like what you can imagine a painter would do, and the time for him was limitless,” Ghesquière said. “He could take days to do one shot.”

During his debut Vuitton shoot, “what I was looking for was the direct emotion,” Ghesquière said. “So I was the more quick type. I was trying to get something right at the beginning of this session.”

A heritage trunkmaker still closely associated with travel, Vuitton campaigns have been shot all over the world, from the swamps of Cambodia and downtown Moscow to Pompano Beach, Fla., and the storied Île Saint-Louis in Paris.

Yet Ghesquière decided to stay put, inviting the entire cast and crew to his Paris apartment, where he could closely follow all safety precautions to protect everyone from the coronavirus.

“I wanted to welcome people at home, to make them comfortable, and to set up a relationship of trust,” he said, also describing the space as very feng shui. “Today I think home means a lot to people. In the moment we all just went through, going home, being at home, is even a stronger symbol than before. So that was why I wanted to do it there.”

Dina Asher-Smith  Courtesy Photo

The designer assembled a large and diverse cast for the shoot. They include British sprinter Dina Asher-Smith, transgender model Krow Kian, actress Stacy Martin and the Congolese-Belgian singer known as Lous and the Yakuza. Ghesquière said he was often sneaking off to the makeup area to listen in on conversations, always curious to know about the personalities he recruits, their artistic expressions, and their interests.

“You have to try to shoot models for who they are in real life, not because they are models,” he said, noting, for example, that sleepy-eyed Mariam de Vinzelle is studying engineering and talks science as fluently as the designer does fashion history. “She’s a model, but I see her more as the student she is,” he said.

For Seydoux, who will be seen late this year in the James Bond film “No Time to Die” and in Wes Anderson’s “The French Dispatch,” the designer “wanted to catch that sense of humor she has in real life and this lightness,” not forgetting her inimitable mix of French beauty and Hollywood glamour.

Martin, who stars in the acclaimed sci-fi film “Archive,” said Ghesquière approached the shoot with a “precise eye” and clear intentions.

“Nicolas always seems to see beyond the clothing — he creates not only a silhouette but also a character in a distinctive world. I think that’s why I respond to it so much, it echoes cinematic worlds,” she said. “He looks for what magnifies women and makes them feel unique by going past the conventions of beauty and fashion.”

French actress Marina Foïs lauds Ghesquière’s bold use of color and mash-up of references in his fashions, and yet “no one disappears behind what they wear,” she says. “What strikes me about these photos, mine and the others, is the directness, the strength of the gazes and the truth of the smiles. It’s simple and sophisticated.”

Ghesquière worked with professional crews to achieve the lighting and framing he had in mind, leaving him free to conjure moments he described as simple, positive and at times joyful. “It’s also the message I wanted to give,” he said.

“Probably my work when I do fashion shows is much more about drama, because the fashion show is usually quite dramatic. And I thought the campaign would be interesting if I could achieve a different kind of emotion,” he said.

Ghesquière acknowledged that he had to occasionally resist the urge to drop the camera, and jump onto the set to adjust the clothes, leaving that job to stylist Marie-Amélie Sauvé, who draped a hoodie over Asher-Smith’s head, a wink to her athleticism.

He said it was inspiring to see how “all these elements came together with great coherency. There is a strong proposition at Vuitton that says a lot about how much people are working together in that brand.”

The designer also felt a strong sense of accomplishment having followed his clothes from their creation to the “final point,” which is the campaign. “It was interesting to take control of that and to really go through the whole process until photographing the clothes,” he said. “I took so much pleasure to do it. It was a joyful experience, and safely done. I shot the different talents one by one.”

Very few designers pick up a camera themselves, with the late Karl Lagerfeld perhaps the most accomplished of them all, having lensed campaigns for Chanel, Fendi and his own brand for decades, along with advertisements for Dom Pérignon, Adidas and Coca-Cola. Hedi Slimane followed in his footsteps and shoots all brand imagery for Celine.

Recently, Valentino’s Pierpaolo Piccioli and Balmain’s Olivier Rousteing picked up a camera to shoot their resort campaigns.

Ghesquière made it clear his expansive fall campaign is not a one-off.

“Yes, I hope to continue shooting,” he said, “but I also want to keep working with great talents. Vuitton is so large and we always need different images.”

Ghesquière suggested to Burke and Arnault that he could do a “working session” just to reassure them he was up to the task, but they did not insist.

“They were very supportive right at the beginning, they never saw any picture that I did before. And they really trust my vision from in the first minute I shared the idea of this project with them. It was really great to explore a new artistic expression I could add to the Vuitton story we’ve been telling over the last years,” Ghesquiere said, describing himself as “someone that could really put together this message with a lot of unity, a universal message about what is Louis Vuitton today and how it can reflect the world of today.”

According to Burke, Ghesquière offered “a more focused point of view” for Vuitton at a time when new media is exploding. “There are very few global buys anymore,” he said. “We’ve empowered completely all our countries and regions.”

Also, Vuitton is forgoing the past impulse to dedicate campaigns to certain seasons or product categories. “People want to see Nicolas’ point of view on the Vuitton woman,” he said. “There’s more movement, more attitude, more inclusivity — all the things that resonate with digital media platforms.”

While he didn’t give numbers, Burke said Vuitton would spend more on advertising in the second half of 2020 than the same period last year, reflecting a rebound in business in many markets, and unspent monies carried over from the first half. It is also to support a stronger pipeline of new products, headlined by Since 1854, a range of clothes and leather goods featuring a new jacquard.

Burke said the new campaign would lead to a sequel, done with the same dedication to diversity and inclusion, and a reliance on local casting. While the latter was a necessity this year due to travel restrictions, Burke said “that’s also the future.”

While he didn’t rule out campaign shoots in cities other than Paris, Burke said Vuitton would rely on talents in town at the time rather than flying in models, singers and actresses from all over the world. “It makes for a much more authentic set,” he said.

Vuitton will also run separate campaigns for its men’s product universe and high jewelry in the second half, he noted.

Deciding to shoot the women’s campaign was not the only new idea Ghesquière had during lockdown.

“I took that opportunity to step back, to think more deeply about how I do things,” he said. “I want to be an actor of change. To change in everyday actions, in everyday decisions is important.”

In lieu of a destination cruise show — Vuitton has shown as far afield as Brazil and Japan — the designer created a more concise collection of about 20 looks, pouring a lot of energy into fabric development, including a new monogram toile incorporating playing-card motifs.

“It is a very strong statement in fashion, I did it with the same honest message, the same conviction, with no compromise,” he said. “It pushed us to go straight to the essentials, maybe to do fewer prototypes, to waste less maybe, to be more focused on the message.”

He said he was heartened by the positive feedback, though he still plans to do a physical show in October,

“I’m going to do digital stuff like everyone, I’m working on different projects that can reach the people who will be far away from us unfortunately,” he said. “But I need a physical, live event that will take place in Paris and I’m doing everything to make it happen, limited obviously by the sanitary conditions. I really hope the fashion week will exist. Everyone has a responsibility and the big brands are important in this calendar.”

He allowed that the show is likely to be smaller, “more adapted to what we’re going through.”

More from WWD.com:

Louis Vuitton Switches to a New Model for Men’s Shows

Coronavirus Crisis Hits Fall 2020 Advertising Campaign Productions

The Best Fashion Ad Campaigns of Spring 2020

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[truthbeetoldmedia]

American Gods 2x06 “Donar The Great” Review

Right when I think American Gods is going full-speed ahead, we take an episode and slow down a bit.  That’s exactly how I would describe this episode. Don’t get me wrong, I still really enjoyed it, but the pace was slow for the story at hand.  

This week, we learned a bit more about Odin, himself.  In the last episode, Wednesday was told he would have to seek Dvalin to fix the runes on his Gungnir spear.  Wednesday and Shadow found him working at an engraving station in the middle of a mall, of all places. In exchange for working on the runes, Wednesday has to acquire a Lou Reed leather jacket that is currently being sold for $7500 in one of the shops.  This might seem a bit...arbitrary in the world of American Gods, but the rune Dwarf wants what the rune Dwarf wants.  That’s his price.

This sets up some season one-esque shenanigans for Shadow and Wednesday and I did very much enjoy this part of the episode.  Wednesday dressed up as a man of the cloth and went to the guy working in the shop. He may be a Bishop, but he is also one of Lou Reed’s biggest fans and willing to pay cash.  While the cashier counts the money Wednesday handed over, he tells him to try on the jacket. The poor shop boy never had a chance. Shadow comes waltzing in the shop appearing as a federal agent, followed by two mall rent-a-cops.  Shadow arrests Wednesday on charges of counterfeiting money. Not only does Wednesday get to keep all the money, but Shadow had to “confiscate” the jacket as evidence since Wednesday was wearing it at the time of arrest. They got the jacket and they didn’t have to pay a cent.  

To allow things to cool down and wait for the mall to close so they can deliver the jacket to Dvalin, the duo hides out in a closed shop with horrendous mannequins.  This allows Shadow to interrogate Wednesday a bit. Earlier in passing, Wednesday made a comment saying that Shadow reminded him of his son. Well, Shadow can’t just let that go.    

You see, while these shenanigans were happening, we got a glimpse into Odin’s past.  Turns out, Mr. Wednesday used to run a Burlesque show and go by the name of Al Grimnir!  This venue provides singing and dancing, as well as booze and smokes. There are a couple of some really good song and dance numbers in this episode too, which I immensely enjoyed!  It was amazing to see another side of Ian McShane’s talent! Mr. Wednesday has always been so charismatic, so it would make sense that he previously owned a Burlesque show for some reason.

Anyway, once the first act is over, Mr. Wednesday’s eyes remain on a familiar face.  That face turns out to belong to Technical Boy! Why, he must’ve been just a baby god at that point in time (around the 1940s).  Technical Boy isn’t the only thing your eyes would be familiar with. There’s are a couple of men at the show wearing the familiar Nazi symbol on their arm.  One of them approaches Wednesday and says they’re interested in sponsoring Donar The Great (Derek Theler). Donar, we learn, is Wednesday’s son. You might know him as Thor, but he goes by his Germanic name here.

In a separate flashback of this life, we are greeted by Mr. Nancy, who appears to work behind the scenes of the show with Mr. Wednesday.  He’s searching for his “queen”, Columbia, who is actually the goddess of liberty and “the personification of America”. I didn’t know that was a thing, but a quick Google search informs me that it is!  Columbia is one of the stars of the Burlesque show, along with Donar. They are also in love and wish to flee to California to escape the burlesque show life and make real names for themselves.

The Allfather isn’t so keen on this though.  He encourages Donar to pursue a different venture; one that’ll take him away from Columbia.  Donar is recruited by the American pro-Nazi group for his strength in sport. Further flashbacks show that Donar has started to make a name for himself with the group that recruited him.  He faces a conundrum when he’s asked to throw a game against a German. Mr. Nancy says he should go for it. It will only help him carve his own path, but Donar decides to go his own way; away from the American Nazi group.  He and Columbia decide it’s time for them to run away together, but Al Grimnir won’t allow that to happen. He introduces Columbia to the Technical Boy. Technical Boy wants Columbia to be the face of the war movement and because Odin’s a master manipulator, he convinces Columbia to carve her own path, since Donar already has with the Germans.

That’s not true though, but Columbia doesn’t know that.  Donar is done with the Germans and his father is done with him because of that.  The two face-off. Odin’s spear and Thor’s mighty hammer collide and the spear is broken into what we’ve seen the past couple of episodes.  Donar is stronger than Odin gave him credit for. Donar, still upset with his father, decides to turn his back on him and walk away.

You see, when Shadow and Wednesday are hiding out until the mall closes, Shadow asks Wednesday about his son.  Wednesday informs him that his son is dead, but Shadow is confused because everyone knows about Thor. This is where we learn that there are certain deaths even gods can’t come back from.  Wednesday tells Shadow that in 1942, Donar killed himself. It’s seen as the ultimate sacrifice for a god. Seeing Wednesday get about as sad as we have yet to see him, really made me feel for him.  It’s the most human we’ve seen him yet, whether it was an act or not.

It wasn’t just the Wednesday show this week, even though it sure seemed like it.  (Not that I’m complaining. I genuinely loved it.) We did get a few short glimpses of what Mr. World and New Media are doing.  New Media’s dancing around, completely in her zone with her followers. Mr. World’s firm grasp on reality seems to be...loosening.  Crispin Glover plays unhinged so well! Anyways, Mr. World says that they need to harness more power from New Media’s followers. She just needs more bandwidth though to make it happen.  This is what’s needed for a victory for their side of the war and once Wednesday’s spear is healed, that sets their side in motion. Pretty ominous moment, if I do say so!

I am firmly team Old Gods, but those glimpses into an unhinged Mr. World were really compelling and I just absolutely adore New Media.  However, this was firmly Ian McShane’s episode through and through. He sang and he acted the shit out of this story. It was honestly such a nice surprise.  I’m hoping we’ll get more of a glimpse into the old lives of the Allfather.

Some thoughts on the episode:

New Media is absolutely adorable and I love her so much.

When Mr. Nancy first called for his “queen”, I definitely thought he was talking about Bilquis, because he’s also called her his queen.

Also, where WAS she this week??  I need her in my life, weekly. Please and thank you.

When Shadow said, “Yeah, and I’m Beyonce.” I died.  Best line of the series so far!

Donar deserved better.  

American Gods airs Sundays at 8/7c on Starz.

Sarah’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

[icudoucmetoo]

DWTS27 - New York City Night

DeMarcus & Lindsay- Foxtrot. Score 24. His smile is contagious. He has a great attitude and described himself as “a chocolate piece of steel.” His rise and fall was on point and so was his heel leads. He lost timing at the end of the dance but, overall, he did really good. For a big guy, he is light on his feet. Evidently they only had 2 1/2 days of practice! Incredible.

Danelle & Artem - Cha Cha. Score 18. Oh my heart. Her solo was impressive especially considering that she is legally blind. She and Artem are both sick but you would never know it looking at them. Troopers. Sure, she had missteps and there were some awkward moments but she stole my heart with her personality and positive can do attitude. I thought the judges score was fair. 

John & Emma - Charleston. Score 23. I loved the routine. It was like watching a mini broadway show. He is a showman and he sold that routine. His stage presence carried him and his dancing was good. There were no timing issues, that I saw and he kept up with Emma. Great kicks. 

Nancy & Val - Cha Cha. Score 21. Nancy has a fracture in her foot and it is painful to dance on it. She improved from last week. I still see hesitancy in her dance where she is trying to keep up with Val. As the dance progressed she appeared more comfortable. I loved the black dress. It was very flattering to her figure. Okay, this is where I bitch about Val. He out danced her and to be honest, I was watching him more than her. For me, his choreography was the same old same old. In the interview with Erin he stated that he felt guilty because he should be protecting Nancy. The deal with Val is that he trains his partners as if they are in a professional competition. Therefore, he drives them on every little thing and does not know how to temper it down. He drills them to the point of injury. I have always been on the fence with Val, but I am pretty much done with him. 

Alexis & Alan - Argentine Tango. Score 25. Alan got innovative and choreographed out of the box. I know that some wanted a traditional AT, but I am happy that he is trying new things. I can appreciate that. They combined ballet with AT and I felt the beauty and angst (push/pull) of the dance. Imagine dancing and AT to Swan Lake. Impressive and gutsy. There was a malfunction in removing her Tutu so they lost some timing with the music. Alexis was able to pick it right back up and finish strong. I was very proud of her. She had beautiful lines and attacked the dance. In my opinion, the scores were well deserved. Alexis is a sweet girl and I do not see anything whatsoever fake about her. Nothing. She is genuine and deserves to be there. She is young, beautiful, smart and by the looks of it everybody loves her. Let’s hope that her fan base comes through for her. She is under the impression that her dancing is all that matters but unfortunately, that is not the case. It’s a shame really.

Joe & Jenna - Foxtrot. Score 17. First, it is known that Joe is not a performer nor is he a dancer. I did see some improvement from last week but not much. Personally, I believe he is phoning it in because the only reason he is on the show is to be close to his girlfriend. That has been documented and is not speculation. Bachelor Nation is voting for him and keeping him on the show. I know some think that this is no longer a dance show but a popularity contest. Well, that is precisely why the judges are there. They are leveling the playing field to offset the popularity aspect of the show. In addition, fans of the pro don’t care how bad the partner is as long as they keep the pro in. Consequently, there is a lot of complaining of the unfairness of the scoring just because It affects the pros chances to make it to the final. I am glad that the judges are aware of this and that they score based on dance performance and not who is the most popular. He deserved the scores he received. 

Tinashe & Brandon - Argentine Tango. Score 26. I freakin’ loved this routine. Brandon wanted to push the envelope (much like Alan) and that he did. It reminded me of a futuristic AT and Tinashe hit all the points. The lifts were extraordinary and sharp. They nailed it. Spectacular job. BRAVO!!! I’m glad that they are adding flavor and sauce to this season. They are one of the best couples in the competition. Hopefully, they will get the votes to stay in. I compare their situation to that of Alexis and Alan. Tinashe is a hot commodity and has a rocking body. 

Milo & Witney - Charleston. Score 26. Dang! That kid can dance. He knows how to work the crowd and the viewing public.  There was plenty Charleston in the routine and Witney choreographed the hell out of it. He kept up. He did not miss a step. Much like Alan and Brandon, Witney modernized the Charleston. They killed it. The scores reflected this.

Mary Lou & Sahsa - Waltz. Score 22. The steps were there but I did not get any emotion from that dance. It was like she was doing Floor X and just made sure to hit her spots. Based on her interview with Erin, she is well aware of this. Therefore, I know it is not just me. Sasha was dragging her through the dance. She was not keeping up. She needs to relax her shoulders but that comes from years of gymnastic training. Basically, the dance was okay but not memorable. 

Juan Pablo & Cheryl - Quickstep. Score 26. Well deserved. He danced that Quickstep. It was fast and crisp. Beautiful lines and upper body. His feet and legs were on point. In addition, he actually led Cheryl. She was not leading him. My eyes were fixed on him and not Cheryl. That is the sign of a good performer.  He has great charisma and charm. I loved their banter during practice package. You can tell that he is committed to the competition and he is not phoning it in.

Evanna & Keo - Samba. Score 24. This is a tricky dance due to the samba bounce. Not everyone can achieve it. She did a good job but I would have liked to see the routine slowed down just a tad to get the true Samba feel. It seemed just a little hectic to me but overall, nicely done. She has a good voting base and I hope they come through for her.

Bobby & Sharna - Foxtrot. Score 20. I concur with the score. Bobby was a mess. He was all over the place and added his own choreography at the end. His heart may be in the right place as he is doing what he can to win the competition for Sharna. The problem is that dance is Sharna’s livelihood and craft. She takes it very seriously and wants to do the dance style justice. Bobby is basically negating this by adding in his own dance steps. I think that Sharna does not want to win the competition that way. I truly believe that she would rather lose and that the MBT would not mean as much. For some, it is just about winning and that is not how Sharna sees her craft. In a way, it was very disrespectful towards Sharna. It is sad that he does not understand this. He will probably stay in because of his voting base but that is not the right way to go about it.

Overall thoughts: It’s going to be a race to the finish.  Going by just dance ability ~ DeMarcus, Tinashe, Alexis, Milo, and Juan Pablo should be the group that fights it out. Unfortunately, since some believe that this should be a popularity contest, it probably won’t be that way.  Add in the fans that vote for a pro instead on the dance ability of the celebrity contestant, we will probably have a clusterfuck. Yeah, I wrote that. There will be a surprise elimination and I believe that it will be either Tinahse or Alexis. They are both vibrant, strong, beautiful, young women with rocking bodies and they are not afraid to show it. I see the older demographic and middle aged women not voting for them.

To my anons - I apologize for running out of time and not responding prior to Tuesday nights show. I promise that I will address these tomorrow. Some of the comments are brutal and I don't want to hastily respond to them but all in all, I agree with you guys.

[devinsena]

The Pro-Life Belief & The Death Penalty: Two Perspectives

The death penalty is a contentious issue among those in the pro-life movement, and often times we attribute incorrect motives to our allies who have different perspectives on capital punishment. This piece seeks to articulate both sides of the complex issue, to increase the unity in our movement.

Pro-Death Penalty

Lou Scataglia

I am pro-life because I believe everyone has a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Science supports the pro-life position life begins at conception, and I believe it is undeniably selfish to have an abortion just because a woman has legal permission to do so. Furthermore, various methods used to carry out an abortion are extremely brutal and with our constant advancement in technology and our expanding knowledge of embryonic development, we are learning that some of these innocent babies being aborted can feel pain. I am pro-life because I believe all people, even the preborn, deserve a chance to live.

I am also pro-death penalty because I believe victims and victims’ families of unspeakable crimes should be given justice — and justice often requires a life for a life. More specifically, I think first-degree murder and rape should each warrant an immediate death sentence.

But, how can it be that I, a defender of the voiceless, also support lethal injections, electric chairs, and firing squads?

When a violent crime is committed in that a life is lost or the victim has been brutalized in such a horrific way that he or she suffers from PTSD, I believe the death penalty is warranted.

Ted Bundy, perhaps the most well-known serial killer of all time, is said to have raped and killed at least 30 women. When an individual causes such a giant disruption to society they make it substantially less safe for others, why should their presence on earth still be deserved? Who is to say someone who has murdered won’t murder again? In my opinion, the victims’ families would rest easier knowing the killer is gone forever, rather than locked away with a potential of being granted parole or even escaping prison.

Comparing abortion to the death penalty is morally bankrupt and an overused talking point by pro-abortionists to try and discredit our activism. A child in the womb is blameless. It is an innocent human being; it has done nothing wrong. A preborn child is voiceless; it cannot speak up against the torture it is about to endure.

Moreover, it is dependent on the mother for its entire livelihood. By contrast, someone who murders or rapes does so independently, on their own merit. Ted Bundy raped and killed all those women because he, as Ann Rule describes in Stranger Beside Me, seemed to get a rush of adrenaline from blood and penetration. He was fully aware of the crimes he was committing, and was the furthest thing from an innocent preborn child.

Unfortunately, wrongful convictions do happen, but the suspect has a right to a jury trial, as protected by the Sixth Amendment. From finding the proper jury, hiring lawyers, creating a case, filing paperwork, etc. — when a suspect is put on trial, a whirlwind of legal action begins.

When someone is sentenced to death, it is not an immediate or quick decision; it takes time, evidence the perpetrator is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, and a willing jury. The suspect is also given a defense team and a chance to prove their innocence.

Preborn children are not given the same luxuries. They have no representation to advocate for their actual innocence. They are left to hope that their mothers decide to birth them, rather than have them ripped apart limb by limb.

I am pro-life because every life is worth defending, and because science is on our side. I am pro-death penalty because I believe in justice, in that a murderer or rapist never lives to harm again. They are guilty of unspeakable crimes, while the preborn are the most innocent among us. In fact, being pro-death penalty is a pro-life position. Sentencing a person to death for the rape or murder of an innocent person affirms the value of the life of the victim, and should bring more comfort to the victim’s family.

It is important to make the distinction between the two ideas. One is defending the innocent; the other is punishing the guilty.

Anti-Death Penalty

Skyler Lee

There is a definite rift in the pro-life movement when it comes to the death penalty. Some pro-life organizations refuse to even take a stance on such a controversial issue, focusing more on bioethical rather than social justice issues.

Most organizations make sure to include they protect “innocent lives” in their mission statements — and I totally understand, as I was once pro-death penalty. However, my attitude has since changed dramatically and I am now anti-death penalty.

There are a variety of reasons and although my personal convictions about the issue are deeply-rooted in the Church, for the sake of this article I’ll touch more on the other reasons for my change of heart. As someone who is pro-life, I’ve learned being pro-life is more than just being against abortion, it also entails sharing the message all lives are valuable and rejecting attacks on human dignity.

As pro-life people, we are against barbarities like abortion, euthanasia, and physician-assisted suicide. We protect the disabled, elderly, sick, and preborn. We claim all lives matter and have value. Yet if someone commits a crime such as murder, suddenly it is okay to kill them in return?

Do not mistake this contention with me equating the innocent to the guilty; I am simply pointing out the pro-life motto “all lives matter” is inconsistent with the rationale for capital punishment. Either all lives matter and have value, or only some lives matter and have value depending on our circumstances such as how we behave in society. We cannot have it both ways.

We stand against abortion, euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide which are all patient-requested services. So why should we promote the involuntary slaughter of prisoners?

Let us consider the prisoner is guilty. I had always thought I would want revenge. An eye-for-an-eye, right? You killed someone, therefore you also should have to die. I went to college in a well-known prison town. People talked about executions, but I never realized how close they were happening to me until one day when my friend and I got turned around and landed outside of the prison on execution day. I got stuck sitting outside as she jumped out to chat with protestors.

I always thought revenge was justified, but that’s when I realized my previous assumption was wrong — there wasn’t a feeling justice was being done for the victim’s family. but rather a sad, eerie atmosphere. Anti-death penalty protesters outside claimed the man was innocent; pro-death penalty protesters were there supporting the family of the victim. I didn’t know the prisoner or his story and, to be honest, I still probably could not tell you his name.

What I did know was he was still someone’s son, grandson, friend, etc. I sympathized with the victim’s family but also with the prisoner’s family. That’s when I finally opened my heart to the other side of the debate and started questioning the ethics and practical results of the death penalty.

Whether he was guilty or innocent one thing was certain: his death did not bring back those he murdered. It did not settle the score. His lethal injection did not even equate to the pain the victim most likely suffered. So what was the point?

If he had not received the death penalty he still would have remained in prison his entire life. The only result of the execution was another life was taken and another family was left to mourn.

Furthermore, every execution involves someone or multiple people who carry out the injection. By participating in this process, these people have now taken a life, too. The very existence of the death penalty process creates killers out of people who probably would have never taken anyone’s life if they had never participated in this process.

How is it we all as a society denounce murder but are okay with prison workers taking lives through execution methods? Or are we just simply supposed to choose which forms of killing are acceptable? Yes, the death penalty is lawful but we all know, especially as people against abortion, simply because something is lawful does not necessarily mean it is right.

I also considered whether the death penalty really constituted capital punishment or a means to escape punishment. People can find God in prison, be genuinely remorseful, and forgiven. If that is the case, death is not really a punishment. I think people who genuinely support capital punishment as a means of punishing perpetrators for their crimes would actually prefer life sentences. Even some prisoners prefer death than a life sentence; shouldn’t that tell us which is more of a punishment?

Moreover, people who are on death row are not sentenced overnight. In fact, the average person spends 15 years on death row before execution, some even longer. I do not believe we convict innocent people as much now because our technology is more advanced and evidence-gathering methods are much more accurate, but 15 years ago we were not as technologically advanced. I am not saying everyone or even a considerable amount of people on death row are innocent, but it is certainly a possibility.

Before I became anti-death penalty, I did a lot of research. I found out the existence of capital punishment does not deter crime, it is more expensive to execute someone than to give them a life sentence (despite rumors to the contrary), and for fear of wrongfully sentencing someone to death row, some murderers have actually been granted acquittals.

In consideration of all of the above, I am now anti-death penalty. It may be easy to stand up for the preborn, elderly, disabled, and voiceless for they have not done anything wrong, and it may be difficult to stand for those who have done wrong and who may not even possess remorse. Yet, I believe it is our duty to stand for all life — regardless of circumstances.

What are your thoughts on the dealth penalty issue? Let us know in the comments below!

source http://humandefenseinitiative.com/death-penalty-two-perspectives/