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the-final-sif · 5 years ago

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For the anons that wanted to know about my “dabi actually makes progress on converting Katsuki into a villain” thoughts, here you go!

As these things often start, Katsuki gets kidnapped for a second time by the LOV. Only, this time the league has a lot more power and influence to keep things covered up, making it nearly impossible for the heroes to get him back. All that they have going for them (although they don’t know it), is that Hawks is successfully embedded in the league as a double agent.

Katsuki still has no interest in joining the LOV. He's not even willing to lie about it, despite lacking any escape options. Tomura is upset and has plans of his own that he is about to discuss with the other members of the league, but Dabi cuts in, asking for a month or two with Katsuki to see if he can't change his tune. It’s certainly a bit odd, because out of all of them, Dabi has been the most certain Katsuki wouldn’t join them. Still, Tomura considers it and since he trusts Dabi, he accepts. Which leaves Hawks, whose been dying inside throughout this entire meeting, Morally Torn.

Hawks can't break his cover to get Katsuki out, but he's not okay with letting the kid get tortured either. So he tags along with Dabi, trying to figure out what his plan is, and trying to gauge what Dabi would be willing to do in the first place. While he’s gotten the vibe that Dabi has a soft spot for kids, and he’s not willing to do too much damage to one, particularly outside of a fair fight, he can’t be sure. Dabi’s too unpredictable to count on that.

Even though he tries to keep his questions casual, Dabi realizes what he's hinting at and laughs at Hawks, telling him he's been watching way too many movies. You don't get people on your side by torturing them. Hell, you can’t even get good info out of someone by torturing them. That shit doesn't actually work in the real world. It’s just something Hollywood clings onto because it makes for good dramatic tension.

It’s certainly reassuring to hear Dabi’s not going to torture the kid, but now Hawks is confused as to what Dabi is planning to do. Clearly, just talking to Katsuki won’t do shit. The kid is way too stubborn for that. He questions Dabi more directly, asking what his master plan in, and Dabi rolls his eyes.

“If you’re so curious, you can watch and learn.”

He means it too, as he leads Hawks to one of the security rooms, setting it up so it’s keeping watch over Katsuki’s cell. Dabi sends out a handful of texts, checks a few things, then tells Hawks if he decides he wants to stop watching to let Dabi know before he leaves the room, since risking Katsuki seeing him would be extremely dumb.

Then, with a concerning amount of confidence, Dabi walks out and waltzes down to Katsuki’s room, only stopping to grab some food for the kid. The food is offered when he enters, but is rejected. Just like Hawks expected. Dabi leaves it off to the side anyways, so Katsuki can have it later if he changes his mind. Then he settles down, sitting on the ground just like Katsuki is, and starts talking with the kid.

At first Katsuki doesn’t want anything to do with him, but Dabi manages to coax him into an argument, shifting their conversation carefully until he can talk about the positive values of the league, highlighting one in particular, the freedom to do what they want.

Katsuki gives him an incredulous look at that one.

“Oh yeah, this is exactly what fucking freedom looks like. Even if I signed up with you fuckers there’d be no goddamn ‘freedom’, it’d just be me doing whatever you assholes wanted.”

“Well now, that’s just untrue. If you were a proper member of the league then you could do what you want. That’s what most of us are here for.”

He gets an eyeroll as Katsuki tries to call his bluff,

"Okay, then what if what I want to do is kill you? Then what, huh?"

Dabi merely shrugs in reply, although Hawks catches a glint to his eyes which tells him that somehow, this is what Dabi wanted all along.

"You'd be welcome to try, kid."

And then he lays out an offer for Katsuki. If what he wants is to try to kill him, then he’ll give him a chance. Hand to hand combat. No quirks allowed, since their quirk match up is really bad (even Katsuki has to admit, TNT vs a matchstick is just asking for trouble). Other than that, once the match starts, anything goes.

Katsuki is 99% sure this is a trap. Hawks can see it in how it takes almost thirty seconds of silence before he gets out an answer, in how the kid’s eyes are darting every which way, and how his answer is oddly hesitant. Still, he agrees. What does he have to lose?

To his surprise, Dabi takes his restraints off (minus some sort of quirk nullification), and unlocks the cell door, holding it open for him. Katsuki just stares blankly for a few long seconds, before Dabi raises an eyebrow at him.

“You backing out already?”

Slowly, carefully, Katsuki shuffles his way out of the cell. Still watching Dabi closely.

“You seem pretty fucking confident that I’m not just gonna run for it.”

It’s a challenge, but it’s also Katsuki trying to figure out why Dabi is so confident he won’t run. He knows there has to be something.

"You're in an enemy base, you don't have your quirk, and you don't know the way out. We’ve got people keeping an eye on us, and more than enough security that even if you killed me, you wouldn’t make it out. I know you’re smart enough to know you can’t win, and I know you can control yourself.” He pauses, shrugging again. “If you really want, I can go grab some chains to drag you around in, but it seems like a lotta of extra work for no reason."

Dabi's right too, Katsuki is smart enough not to make a move. He’s at a heavy disadvantage, but he’s also curious about what’s going to happen next. It’s enough to keep him walking by Dabi’s side, taking in as much of layout of the base as he can.

They walk to a decently large training room which Dabi locks behind them, leading Katsuki to the center before he starts talking.

“Alright kid, ground rules. I’m not going to make this easy for you, but I’m not going to retaliate. If you try to kill someone else, or try to escape, then I can’t promise there won’t be consequences, but anything you do in this room is fair game. You’ve got one hour, then I’ve got other shit to do. Got it?”

Very hesitantly, Katsuki nods, dropping into a fighting stance. Dabi looks it over for a moment, and then reaches into one of his pockets, pulling out a knife. Hawks’ heart almost stopped, but the knife is left folded and tossed over. Katsuki barely catches it, eyes wide as he looks between Dabi and the blade. Waiting for the trap to spring.

“Figured we ought to make this a bit more interesting. That’s yours, you can use it if you want. Or don’t. It’s your choice. Anyways, your time starts now.”

It takes a few seconds for Katsuki to realize that this is really a thing that is happening, but soon enough he makes a move and before he knows it, he’s getting into the fight.

The problem is, Dabi’s got way more experience in hand to hand and knife fighting than Katsuki does. Even with Dabi only dodging, he can't get a blow in.

For the first half the session Dabi lets him go at it, and then he starts giving Katsuki hints. Telling him to loosen his posture more, not look where he's about to slash, etc. Katsuki is super weirded out by it, but he tries the advice and it actually works, so he keeps listening.

Eventually, the hour is up and Dabi leads Katsuki back. Katsuki is so weirded out by the whole experience that he’s more complacent than he’s been since he got here. He even tries to return the knife when he’s back in his cell, but Dabi tells him to keep it.

“If you can get anyone with it, then they deserve it for not paying more attention.”

Hawks is totally baffled watching this entire scene play out, and he can't understand what Dabi's doing.

Yet the next day, Dabi goes back and repeats the process. And the day after that. And the day after that. Katsuki starts eating properly because he wants to keep his energy up for the combat sessions, and after a few days, they've become thinly veiled training sessions instead of pure combat. Katsuki's still trying to stab Dabi, but most of his time is spent improving his various combat skills.

They keep going for nearly a week, Hawks going out of his way to make sure he can watch each and even session, until on day 8, it hits him.

Katsuki has started responding positively to Dabi's presence, perking up when he enters his cell, looking to him after he's finished learning a new move, and when Dabi walks him to and from the arena, Katsuki's way more focused on the combat session then he is on escaping. He’s hardly even studying the base anymore since he’s so determined to win. Even in his cell, Katsuki’s attempts to get out are less frequent and have a lot less effort put into them, with him now spending most of his time practicing what he’s learned.

It leaves Hawks baffled, and he ends up asking Dabi directly how the fuck he managed to pull that off. The kid was- is- stubborn as hell, and Hawks assumed that he’d be nearly impossible to win over.

Dabi laughs at him, just like he did at the start of all this, and says that couldn’t be further from the truth; Katsuki is damn near perfect for conversion. There’s only two real issues, namely, Katsuki’s attachment to the title of “hero”, and his bonds with his teachers/classmates. Outside of that, Katsuki is a kid who has no real emotional connection to his parents, he's completely attention/affection-starved and desperately wants to reach an impossible goal of perfection. He’s faced constant negative media attention, having been basically typecast as a future villain by UA during the sports festival, and it all leaves him very vulnerable.

If anything, Katsuki is the easiest kid in the world to work. All you need to do is know what you’re doing and take the time to do it right, which Dabi has been.

By letting Katsuki have freedom and go after something he actually wants (in this case, fighting Dabi), he got positive associations started right off the bat.

Katsuki has no idea how deal with affection/attention from a parental figure, but he does understand teacher-student relationships, and so far in his life, those have been just about his only positive relationships with adults. Teachers liked Katsuki, and as such, Dabi pivoting himself into a mentor position allowed Katsuki to be far more comfortable with him.

By giving Katsuki a lot of trust right off the bat, like letting him walk back and forth from the arena without any restraints, letting him keep the knife so he can defend himself, and letting him do what he wants in the arena, Dabi not only made him feel like he had freedom, but the thing that was stopping Katsuki from taking advantage of that freedom was himself. Katsuki is smart enough to not want to lose that freedom, and as such he became his own limiting factor.

He also gave Katsuki a goal to works towards to keep himself occupied, because Katsuki needs to be making progress towards something in order to be happy. By changing his goal from ‘escape’ to ‘beat Dabi in a fight’, it means Katsuki is spending a lot less time and energy trying to escape, and on some level it reduces his actual desire to escape, because escaping means he didn't actually ‘win’.

Not only that, but because Katsuki is really attention/affection-starved, he's a lot more affected by getting positive attention from an adult figure than he likes to let on. Katsuki doesn't like unearned positive attention, he doesn't understand how to accept affection/attention from people normally, all because he's been starved of it most his life. It makes him get angry and hostile quickly. So Dabi's been very careful to only give him limited amounts of earned positive attention, slowly increasing the amounts but focusing on quality rather than quantity. It makes Katsuki’s positive associations that much stronger, and leaves him craving more.

Hawks is blown away by how much thought Dabi put into this and how much sense it makes. Everything he’s doing adds up to that same goal of winning Katsuki over, and from the looks of it, it’s actually working.

By week two, Katsuki is tolerating hair ruffles and gentle teasing from Dabi without protest, he walks closer to Dabi, he nearly instantly looks to Dabi for directions in unfamiliar circumstances, and despite Katsuki's best efforts, it's clear Dabi has become a positive figure in his life. Hawks is left watching all of this with a morbid fascination because he's known this kid and tried to interact with him on the heroes side of things for months now without any success, and even the Katsuki's teachers haven’t been able to make so much progress with him in such a short span of time.

At some point in week two, Katsuki and Dabi are walking in the hallways. Previously, Katsuki has encountered a few other people passing by in the hallways. All of them keep their distance, and Katsuki's always reserved and watchful, trying to remember as many faces as he can, but not interacting with any of them.

That day shouldn't have been any different, but the guy who passed by them is a low-level guy in with a chip on his shoulder. He sees Katsuki watching him and tries to pick a fight with him about it. Katsuki is instantly nervous, but he doesn’t let it show. Still, he doesn’t have a quirk, the guy is about three times his size, fighting anyone other than Dabi will likely get him in trouble, and Katsuki has very limited room to maneuver. Doesn't mean he's not going to tell the guy to fuck off, but he also knows he's probably about to get beat up for it.

Or, he would've, except Dabi intervenes, stepping between the two and backing Katsuki up in telling the guy to fuck off. He forces the guy back and makes it very clear that if he comes near Katsuki again, then Dabi will kill him, no questions asked. The guy recognizes Dabi as a higher rank, and someone who could actually make good on that threat, and so he steps the hell off.

Dabi waits until he's gone before he tells Katsuki next time, if someone starts shit with him like that, he's allowed to use his knife to make them fuck off, and Dabi will back him up. Hawks has been watching this whole exchange, and he can see instantly how much that strengthens Katsuki's attachment. It's starting to really worry him now.

Luckily, Katsuki gets rescued not too long after the incident. The heroes finally find out where he is and they get him out of there, no worse for wear. Hawks is able to drop some hints so they identify that he's got some level of Stockholm Syndrome, and he ends up breaking out of the mindset that Dabi was slowly luring him into.

Only, even after Katsuki is rescued, Hawks can't forget all the stuff Dabi said. He starts noticing how Katsuki doesn't really trust the adults around him, doesn't know how to handle real positive attention, how the media has only gotten worse, and the list goes on and on. Before he was able to laugh it off, but now... he finds himself actually taking several pages out of Dabi's book.

Hawks feels guilty about it, but Katsuki responds to it wonderfully. Dabi already laid a lot of groundwork for him, and it makes so easy for Hawks to slip into the role of a mentor figure. He's not trying to do it for any nefarious purposes, he just hates seeing the kid unhappy after all the shit he's been through while Hawks sat back and watched.

Before long, Katsuki is going so far as to reluctantly ask Hawks for advice. First about heroics stuff, and then about personal stuff. He’s the first person Katsuki opens up to about struggling with lingering positive thoughts about Dabi. Hawks is allowed to rest a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder and sooner than he thought, Katsuki will lean into it. He’s able to give the kid a hug and it isn’t unwelcome, and after one extremely long day, Katsuki even ends up falling asleep on him.

Katsuki’s doing better with other people too, with Hawks’ encouragement. He’s gotten much less aggressive with civilians, his rescue is improving, and he’s gotten better about talking things out with other people.

Just about everyone else around Katsuki is baffled as to how Hawks of all people somehow got through to the kid, and Hawks has to play dumb. He laughs them off, pretending it’s all just luck while dropping a few hints to try to encourage other people to take similar steps, only to get frustrated when nobody picks up on them. People just keep going on and on about how he’s done the impossible, and it’s grating to listen to because holy shit, it's really not that complicated.

Why was it that Dabi somehow got all of this in five minutes and knew just how to handle this kid, while it seems every other adult in Katsuki’s life is clueless? It’s super frustrating, but he can’t say shit without blowing his cover, so he keeps quiet and just does his best to help Katsuki as he can.

#katsuki bakugou #hawks #dabi #takami keigo #hawks bnha #bnha #mha #the lov #katsuki's kidnappings #my headcanons #sif writes #sif speaks #the league of villains

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shirtlesssammy · 4 years ago

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15x15: Gimme Shelter

Then:

Dean used his words to save the world once

Now:

At a food bank community center, three teens dole out food while stressing out about one attendant who’s breaking their cleanliness rules. Connor heads over to talk to the woman, but is stopped by the center’s pastor. The pastor challenges Connor’s motivation. ”We have rules, but we also have spirit too, right?” The pastor tells Connor to lead with compassion, so Connor brings the woman food instead of kicking her out of the building.

Later, Connor walks home. Much like all other cold open walks, this one also involves a solitary alley. He hears someone calling his name. Trying to find the source of the voice, he trips and finds a talking teddy bear, and a metal hook around his neck.

Dean and Sam discuss research. Sam’s found a non-case, while Dean’s hit the jackpot in Atlantic City. Specifically, an unexplained blackout has him thinking that Amara’s enjoying her new gambling addiction on the East Coast.

Cas pops up and thinks he should go with the brothers, but they tell him to stay put and babysit Jack. I say TFW is just better together, but I’m not writing this episode. Hrmph. The brothers are packed and ready to go, but Jack stops them in the war room to ask about the case Sam found.

Sam tells him it’s nothing. Dean encourages Cas and Jack to investigate --to keep Jack busy. Cas seems skeptical, but Dean insists.

Agents Swift and Lovato meet with the local law enforcement to learn more about the case. Sweet Jesus is it cute that Cas continues to use pop-star names. It’s cute that Jack takes after his father with the upside down badge. It’s cute that Jack recognizes the teddy bear and says he has one (Did Cas buy it for him? He has a history of buying stuffed animals for his quasi-children.)

The sheriff tells them about the victim, and how the word ‘Liar’ was carved into him.

Jack posits that this all seems demonic.

Cut to Cas digging into the ground at a crossroads. Time to get some information. Cas buries a picture of himself that Dean took when he was wearing a cowboy hat (Don’t worry, Dean still has his copy, and keeps it safe…. for reasons.) and Jack sets up a social media account. He’s WAY under 13 years old, so he needs a parent’s permission. Cas grants it easily. (Also, ALSO!! ALSO, there are NOT too many cats on the internet. This writing is so OOC, smh.)

A demon appears.

He’s channeling his inner Crowley, and I suddenly miss the bugger for a moment. Zach, the demon, is very bored and desperately wants something to do. He’s not really British and tells the duo that no one's making demon deals right now. Rowena’s of the philosophy that “people will end up where they belong.” Cas realizes their mistake and moves to leave. “Sam was right, it’s not a monster,” Jack laments. “He was half right. Sometimes humans can be the worst kind of monsters,” Cas adds.

At the community center, a woman locks up, and grabs a whole lotta cash from the donation box before she bails. Once outside, she hears a voice call her name. She looks around but sees nothing. She turns back to her car to find a masked individual. A weird editing choice cuts back to her...and commercial.

Cas checks in with the brothers. Dean tells Cas to be wary of those “Hallelujah types” and I’m like, wha? Cas is an ANGEL OF THE LORD. He’s been around the block, Dean. Lol for looking out for your BFF, tho. Also, second awkward moment of the episode when Dean just hangs up on Cas? I’m…

Sam voices his reservations about the whole finding Amara --lying to Amara --killing Amara plan. Say it louder for the brother in the seat next to you, Sam!

(Boris: I’m just going to insert this in the middle of this recap and never mention it again. Can we trust Billie? Is her plan actually something that is GOOD for our TFW 2.0? What is her agenda and does it align with what we want? What if what SHE wants is as equally bad as what Chuck wants? What if we as an audience are getting played right now??) (Natasha: What if the strings she’s pulling are emotional and she’s playing a dangerous game of chicken with Dean’s rage and Chuck’s entitlement?)

Jack joins the community center. He watches Dr. Sexy the pastor in a prayer circle, and talks to a disillusioned young woman who asks him to fill out a form before walking away.

Cas walks in separately and wanders over to Dr. Sexy the pastor praying with a parishioner, and tells him about the cash stealing Valerie. She never made it home.

Cut to Valerie tied and gagged. Her hands are in an elaborate guillotine. She wakes. Her screams are muffled. A TV turns on and flashes the word ‘Thief’. And one of her fingers gets chopped off. A timer starts on the TV. AND WE ALL RECOIL.

Jack finishes the paperwork and tries to talk to the girls working the food line. The one girl storms off, upset. Jack follows her and tells her that he didn’t mean to upset her.

She tells him that Connor and her dated. Well, they watched a lot of old movies together. (AHEM! AHEM! AHEM! “I’m your Huckleberry.” AHEM. Please stop the clowning, it hurts so much.)

Jack confesses to the girl that he lost his mother. The girl tells Jack that her mom died three years ago, and now it’s just her and her emotionally unavailable father, the pastor. “I have more dads than most, and I’m always just feeling like I’m letting all of them down.” JACK!!!! The girl tells Jack to trust God, not people.

And we laugh, and laugh, and, guh, laugh.

Cas, meanwhile, meets with Dr. Sexy the pastor.

Cas interrogates Dr. Sexy Pastor about whether anyone else has gone missing recently. Well, there was one guy who used to work for the “faith-based community” but they parted ways. Cas and the pastor enjoy a little god talk. Cas, the weary angel, opines that God just doesn’t care. The pastor has a different take on faith - it’s about the people of his church doing what they can to take care of each other. We learn that this church recently changed from a fundamentalist branch to something more welcoming. Connor was able to come out as gay due to the changes, so some good happened. (Hindsight thoughts: this makes his death and the “Liar” all the more awful.) “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying,” the pastor concludes...and if that ain’t the truth about Cas!

Sam and Dean are on the too-slow train to Atlantic City when Amara drops in during a gas stop and invites them out for pierogi.

At Patchwork, the pastor asks Jack to share his journey of faith during a prayer circle. Jack falters, and Cas steps in. “I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders. Without question. And I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. Then, of course, when it all came crashing down I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed. Something amazing. I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.” BRB crying!

Later in the cafeteria, Jack asks Sexy Pastor, M.D. how he brought together so many people with different ideas of religion. “It’s not about what they believe. It’s what they do,” he reiterates. (I imagine, for a moment, an ending where Jack calls out to the whole world and all living creatures and Heaven and Hell unite to win the final confrontation and make a better world together.)

The tranquil moment is interrupted by the TV turning on to security feed footage of the victim. The timer runs out and she loses another finger and screams and screams. Jack rushes over to the TV and pulls out a USB stick from the back.

Meanwhile, the Winchesters dine with Amara.

They bring up Chuck’s destruction of the other universes and tell her they have a plan to stop him. They’ve got a nephilim on their side AND he’s super powerful. All they need is for Amara to help them trap Chuck and...WHAMMO. Amara gently refuses to betray her brother. She lays some new mythology on them. She and Chuck are twins - creation and destruction - and their splitting apart first brought life into the world.

Cas and Jack barge into the church’s ex-AV tech’s room. And by that, I mean, Jack gets hurled through another door? Um. Okay. The part of me that grew up with 3 Stooges is HERE FOR IT, tbh.

They discover the guy is dead, chained up in bed with cuffs, with the word “lust” painted above him.

Getting ready to leave town, Sam’s ready to accept Amara’s choice. Dean “Fuck Acceptance” Winchester heads back inside and corners Amara. He asks why she brought back Mary.

Amara tells him that she wanted him to see that the apple pie dream life he’s always striving for isn’t real - that Mary was only human - and BETTER because of that. Amara thought that would help him to accept his life. Amara also thought that having Mary back would release Dean from his anger.

He leans forward and lets her know that he’s furious. Everyone in this universe is trapped, he tells her - including her. And she’s doing nothing. Amara falters in the face of this, and then asks him if she can trust him. “I would never hurt you,” he LIES TO HER FACE. She tells him she’ll think about it.

That evening Sylvia, the pastor’s daughter, listens to her friend gush over the social media attention she’s getting after posting about the torture video. In a flash of rage, Sylvia stabs her friend and races away. Dr. Sexy Pastor finds the current (still alive) victim just as Sylvia catches up to him. She accuses him of laughing at her mother after her mother died from trying to heal by prayer rather than medical science. She accuses him of changing the church that her mother grew up in. Jack jumps into the fray and gets stabbed for his trouble. When Cas arrives, Sylvia is quickly subdued by his Vulcan forehead tap of slumber.

Cas yanks away the restraints from the victim (SOOOO strong) and then heals her fingers back on while the pastor looks on in wonder.

For So Strong Science:

Later, they gather outside while Sylvia gets taken away in cuffs. The pastor still cares about his daughter and vows to get her help. The driver of the car is Zach the crossroads demon? Oookay.

Cas and Jack drive home. In the truck of feelings, Cas asks Jack why he couldn’t share during the prayer circle. Jack confesses that he’s been lying. The spell Billie is doing with him is turning him into a bomb to be used against Chuck and Amara. It’ll work - they’ll cease to exist. But Jack will be obliterated too. “This is the only way they’ll ever forgive me,” he tells Cas.

Cas is horrified. He can’t watch Jack die again! Cas refuses to watch Jack die again, but Jack seems to have fully embraced this as his necessary fate.

Back at the bunker, Dean heads for the whiskey bottle late at night when he spots Cas shuffling towards the exit. Jack’s settled in his room, Cas reports. Cas then tells Dean he’s going to look for “another way.”

Oh AND, “In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know…”

FADE. TO. BLACK.

The Se7en Deadly Quotes:

You guys go Highway to Heaven that bitch

You look greener than Baby Yoda

“Did anyone find any tiny bags with chicken bones inside?” “Did anyone smell sulfur?” “Did anyone feel cold?”

There were too many cats

Where can I find the Kool-Aid?

I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person

It was a gift, Dean. Not a trial

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #spn 15x15 #gimme shelter #supernatural season 15

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forasecondtherewedwon · 4 years ago

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The Stripping Point

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: E (explicit sexual content) Word count: 6387

Happy Birthday, @spiderman-homecomeme!

Summary: Peter's ready to turn his new hobby into a profitable sideline. Unfortunately, he writes down his very first client's address incorrectly and shows up at the wrong house.

MJ opens the door to find some guy dressed as Spider-Man and decides the best way to mess with him is to let him stay. Almost immediately, she loses the upper hand.

Quarantine puts people out of work. A lotta people at first, then less, but never Peter. He keeps shooting for the Bugle, lugging his camera all over the city (instead of squeezing onto buses and subway cars that never really get that much less crowded) while he breathes heavily through his mask. He only takes pictures at outdoor spaces to try to avoid both crowds and loners who hassle him for taking preventative measures during the pandemic. They’re stressed, he gets that, but Peter doesn’t wanna be anywhere near conflict. Spider-Man, on the other hand… Well, when he puts on that mask, it’s pretty much business as usual. He appreciates his face covering more than ever and, hey, it’s cool to do a job with social distancing built in.

His gratitude for the web-slinging side-gig only increases as the weeks of pandemic life stretch into months and Jameson starts ordering him back into situations that are just plain stupid from a health perspective. Never mind that he got kinda accidentally stabbed the other week. It’s a totally different set of dangers. Peter resists the new assignments and because Jameson’ll be in deep shit if his number one Spider-Man photographer makes a fuss about working conditions (and because people are getting so desperate for employment that he can pay a new hire even less than Peter’s paltry freelancing rate), the Bugle shells out for another photographer to cover the work Peter won’t do. Good for Peter’s health, bad for Peter’s bank account―which is already whimpering with hunger pangs from sitting near-empty after paying rent. This gets him thinking. It might be time to turn his early-quarantine hobby into his mid-to-late-quarantine money-maker.

Yeah, pandemic hobbies! By April, it seemed to him like everybody was picking something up. Bread-making, yoga, sewing masks for healthcare workers left criminally under-equipped. The hobby Peter picked up, well… it’s a little different. He began practicing it indoors (obviously), by himself, and with skills gained from reading and watching material on the internet. In those ways, it’s a lot like other people’s hobbies. In some other ways, it’s very, very different. Like, instead of putting on specialized clothing like an apron or yoga pants, Peter’s hobby requires taking clothes off. It’s stripping. Peter’s hobby is stripping.

A few things led to him picking that over sourdough or Sun Salutations. Peter loves not only old movies but also old music. Old movies with iconic dance scenes? That’s, like, the perfect combo. He spends a lot of his downtime playing music in his apartment and, when he’s not wiped or injured, dancing along. He figures it’s good for his mood as well as his fitness. Seriously, he can only do so many chin-ups on the metal bar braced in his bathroom doorframe (which is starting to crack). Patrick Swayze’s solo routine from the end of Dirty Dancing is way more fun, even if Peter did tear the knees on a couple pairs of sweatpants because of it. The more music he listened to, the more he started freestyling his own moves in between those of leading men. It was that―trying to create something good of his own―that helped him understand the routines he watched. He figured out the balance between precision and sex appeal and somewhere in there, he realized he was performing for an audience in his head. And what this imaginary audience wanted wasn’t always the goofiness of acting out Risky Business and sliding across the short strip of bare floor between his kitchen and living room in socks, underwear, and a white shirt. Sometimes, the audience wanted him to lose the shirt.

At that point, Peter was once again wandering out of what he knew. He was comfortable with movie dances, had a little of his own repertoire, but he lacked this extra element of storytelling; it was the one that took him from fully dressed down to boxers and socks without tripping and struggling and falling into his meager possessions. That was when he turned to the internet and confronted the fact that he wanted to learn how to strip. If he happened to stumble into related tutorials on how to give a lap dance, who would know? Who was there to judge Peter as he performed for an empty kitchen chair, dragging his hand along the back and body-rolling to buck his hips towards where someone’s face would be? Yeah, it was kinda embarrassing while he was learning, but he had the endurance to try a move over and over until he nailed it, the strength to draw out isolated movements like twitching his hips to keep his butt drawing circles on the lap of his invisible patron, and the overall coordination of, well, Spider-Man. Which ends up being the most important piece of all because, when Peter decides to take his show on the road (or at least out of his tiny apartment), his ‘stage’ name requires about a second of thought. Spider-Man. He’ll go by Spider-Man. He laughs his ass off when he thinks of it. It’s fucking genius! Spider-Man stripping as himself is the last thing anyone would ever suspect!

Naturally, Peter can’t use any of his actual Spidey suits. Those would probably give him away. Also, he’d feel weird about having Karen’s voice in his ear while he flexed his abs next to somebody’s head. Fortunately, after a little digging―which turns into a lot of digging and leaves his room a mess of comingled clean and dirty clothes―he finds his original suit. The zip-up hoodie plus sweatpants one. Yeah, its technological capabilities are basically zero, it’s a little grimy, and too tight, but he doesn’t need it to do anything besides come off. The wear-and-tear will lend genuine-fake authenticity to his character and the snugness around his more developed muscles (it’s been a decade since he wore it last) will make it… sexier? He guesses? The most important thing is the mask, which is the only part of his costume he won’t strip off. Apart from his underwear, obviously. He’s not that wild.

He gets to work cutting a vertical line up each leg of his sweatpants, then sews in snaps. Boom, tearaways. They look kinda shitty, but if he’s any good at all, whoever he dances for shouldn’t be staring at loose threads.

So Peter has his moves, his costume, a few songs in mind, and no engagements. Oh, he thinks he can figure out how to get jobs, it’s just that he somehow keeps coming home, sitting down to compose his ad, and then doing something completely different instead. He’s truly scared witless. Nobody’ll see your face, he chants in his mind to psych himself up every time he’s heading home to his apartment. Still, he freezes at his laptop. There’s nothing about his body that he’s ashamed of―he uses it every single day to help people as Spider-Man. Maybe it’s that, this time, he’d be using it to help himself. Is he a monster for making a buck off his superhero persona? Peter holds onto that question for about a week until the date to pay rent is approaching and his bank account shudders in horror. Ok, money’s tight and he hasn’t been hit by a car lately, so he won’t freak anybody out with road rash or bruising or more of his hand-sewing to close gashes. With a little self-pedicure here and hair-removal there, Peter looks at himself in his bathroom mirror and decides this is as good a time as any.

He advertises online and his hands are still trembling when he gets a call from an unfamiliar number ten minutes after his ad goes live. The ringing phone actually makes him jump. It’s probably a telemarketer, or a wrong number. Nobody would call him with a job this fast. He was counting on having at least a day to sit with the choice he made. Peter fumbles for the phone and answers. For the next minute and a half, he struggles to hear the woman’s voice over the blood rushing in his ears. She thinks he’s the Spider-Man Stripper. He is the Spider-Man Stripper. This is hilarious and terrifying and oddly similar to the brief moment of freefall between slinging one web and the next as he darts around Midtown. Her friend’s birthday party, she tells him, two days from now. Something else she planned (Peter’s adjusting his sweaty, slipping grip on his phone and misses the details) fell through and if he can be the entertainment for a half-hour or so it would save both the party and her friendship. Not to add extra pressure, she jokes, laughing. The sound Peter makes is a weak echo. So can he be there? Is there space in his schedule? He pretends to check that ‘schedule’ so she doesn’t think he’s a total amateur. Yep, yep, he has an opening for her. She has an opening for him, she flirts back, making his eyes go wide as he clutches the phone. God, why couldn’t his first gig have been for some 22-year-old’s bachelorette instead of this middle-aged-sounding woman who possibly wants to eat him alive? By the time she’s telling him her address, Peter’s hands are shaking worse than ever, he can’t immediately find a pen, and she reels it off to him way too quickly. He’s scrawling the address on his arm and right as he opens his mouth to ask her to repeat it, she hangs up. He peers at his arm doubtfully. Should he call her back for confirmation? No, he doesn’t have the guts. Anyway, he can figure this out. The street name was Woodman, right? Or was it Woodlawn? And the number was 712. Or 271. There was definitely a 7 in there somewhere. And his client’s name was… Lisa? Lana. Maybe Linda?

Peter cradles his face in his hands and groans. When his phone starts ringing again―different number―he frantically declines the call, then deletes his ad. One job at a time. Even that, he now thinks, seems ambitious.

―

MJ’s glad she’s not the one throwing this party together. As Liz’s best friend, it’s Betty who took the reins, organizing and then scrapping everything more than once as New York moved from phase to phase during this pandemic. The end result is still less than what MJ knows Betty wants; ideally, there would be more than a handful of guests and things like shiny helium balloons and fancy desserts would be hand-delivered to Liz’s front door on the day of the party. Instead, MJ sits on the arm of Liz’s couch as she inflates yet another latex balloon the good old-fashioned way: blowing it up by mouth until she’s dizzy.

Cindy stomps over and plops down next to her, snatching a balloon from the party pack of 50 (and Betty insists they need them all). She’s been banished from cupcake decorating. MJ would offer a word or two of sympathy, but balloon duty has the prior claim on how she spends her breaths. All she can do is toss Cindy a plastic tiara (Betty bought one―just one!―reading ‘Mom-to-Be’ for Liz, but the online shop screwed up her order and sent two dozen ‘Birthday Girl’ tiaras in its place) after tying off her finished balloon. MJ’s already wearing one. Meanwhile, the tiara-less Mom-to-Be is being driven around the block a million times by her cousin because they’re having the party at Liz’s place and Betty wants the decorations to be a surprise. Liz’s husband, more simply, was banished for the entire day. MJ originally thought they could’ve put him to work, since it’s pretty hectic, but she’s too oxygen-deprived to worry anymore.

Finally, Betty declares from the kitchen that she’s frosted her final cupcake. MJ begs for a reprieve from balloon-inflating and Betty, feeling accomplished and generous, agrees they probably have enough balloons now. Cindy casts her half-inflated one away in disgust before going to help Betty clean up baking ingredients and do dishes. MJ does her best to shoo the balloons to one side of the living room, then carries spare chairs in because their couch won’t fit everyone. Fortunately, they’ve all been recently tested for illness and been vigilant hand-washers and mask-wearers since then, so at least she doesn’t have to find a way to keep every seat six feet apart. She’s just positioning a final chair, still a little out of breath from the balloons, when the doorbell rings. In the kitchen, Betty screams.

“IT’S STILL A MESS IN HERE! STALL HER!”

“’K!” MJ agrees.

She kicks a couple stray balloons out of her path and goes to get the door. They weren’t supposed to come back to the house until Betty texted, but maybe they got tired of driving around, or Liz started feeling carsick. MJ knows she’s been pretty delicate her entire pregnancy with twins floating around in her uterus like a pair of nausea-inducing astronauts.

As she opens the door wide, she sucks in a deep breath to call out a sarcastic ‘Surprise!’ But it’s not Liz and her cousin. It’s… a guy? In a red and blue costume. She thinks it’s a guy. She can’t even see the person’s face, but when MJ reaches up to self-consciously adjust her ‘Birthday Girl’ tiara, they tilt their head and seem to follow her movement.

“Oh! I’m here for you! You’re… not what I was expecting.” It’s a masculine laugh. Young. Nervous.

She crosses her arms suspiciously.

“You’re not what I was expecting either,” she accuses.

“Shit,” he mumbles. “I guess it was supposed to be a surprise.”

What? Betty might have planned a few surprises for today, but MJ does not recall a dude in a mismatched sweatsuit being one of them.

“Guess so,” she says slowly.

“Sorry, I’m, uh, Spider-Man.” He gestures to the costume. Well, she can kinda see the very distant resemblance to what the real Spider-Man wears; there is a crudely-drawn spider on the chest.

“Uh huh.”

MJ’s suspicion is shifting into amusement―this guy really seems to think he has an invitation―when Cindy comes up behind her. MJ darts a look at her friend and is glad Cindy’s no longer sporting her own tiara. No need to confuse this poor… Spider-Man impersonator.

“What’s up?” Cindy asks, poking her chin over MJ’s shoulder, happier now that she’s fled the tasks Betty continually assigns.

“Hey,” says ‘Spider-Man’. “I, uh, I was hired to, uh, dance for the, um…” He gestures at MJ’s tiara. “…birthday girl.”

At ‘dance,’ MJ’s eyebrows shoot up. She looks quickly at Cindy and realizes she’s going to say something. Cindy will handle this how she handles any inconvenience or anomaly: with forthrightness and concision. She’ll have this faux-venger hitting the road before MJ can blink. With a short, friendly laugh towards Spider-Man, MJ angles herself to block Cindy from view and locks eyes with her friend. Cindy’s face says, What are you doing? We don’t know this guy. MJ’s counters with, Let’s see how this plays out. Cindy rolls her eyes, but nods, so MJ steps away from her again.

“As long as you haven’t traveled outside the country in the last fourteen days or experienced symptoms of fever, etcetera etcetera, come on in,” Cindy invites, gesturing Spider-Man through the doorway. “I’m so sorry, but we were running a little behind with the food, so I have to disappear back to the kitchen. But why don’t you get started for her?”

“Cindy,” MJ hisses as she closes the door. “You have to stay.”

“I believe the man said he was here for the birthday girl.”

Cindy smirks and they both glance over to see that Spider-Man has found the speaker and connected his phone. Something catches MJ’s eye and her gaze skims down his leg. What’s up with the side of his pants?

“I’m not the birthday girl,” she reminds Cindy in a panicked whisper. “There is no birthday girl.”

“Well, in her absence, it looks like you’re the one getting her presents. Careful with that one.”

“Because it seems fragile?”

“Because I feel like it’s the kind that comes with a big package.”

Cindy pokes MJ hard in the side and flees when she squirms away. MJ glares after her. Yes, she’s curious about what the hell this impersonator’s doing here in that crappy costume, but it’s so much easier to be curious when she can observe something unfolding without actively having to participate. What she was thinking was that he’d come in and the three of them―Betty, Cindy, and herself―would see how far this went before something either gave them away as not being the people who ‘hired’ him (so he claims), or the guy crumbled under the quavering weight of his own anxiety. Nothing about his look or his manner announces experience. Now, MJ’s on her own as she takes a seat in one of the chairs she brought in. She crosses her legs, bobs her foot, and hopes to hell that Spider-Man’s a breakdancer.

“Listen…” she begins to say, leaning forward to address him, but as she speaks, he turns up the volume and her uncertain voice is drowned out by chimes tinkling above throbbing bass. Oh no.

It’s the tempo that scares MJ. She thinks she could deal with a rabbiting drum intro or the bright squeal of quick fingers on an electric guitar. This song is tauntingly slow and it’s obvious, by how Spider-Man turns in her direction and walks to her with measured steps, that what she’s about to experience will look nothing like handstands or the worm, nothing youthfully, recklessly acrobatic. It’s also clear that she’s in this alone now because the guy putting his back to her and swirling his hips with agonizing slowness as the gravelly vocals come in is in some kind of zone she can’t follow him into.

When I look in your eyes… the song goes. …I can feel the fire.

Nope, MJ’s outside of this, in the real world, where she hears him lower the zipper on his sweatshirt. When he rotates to face her, taking his time, she finds her hands are gripping the seat on either side of her thighs.

A see-through disguise can’t conceal desire.

Spider-Man’s disguise is hardly see-through―seriously, he must’ve been sweltering in those sweats on his way here―but it’s open now, from his clavicle down to where the band of his pants grips his taut abdomen. He probably can’t hear the groan that pushes out of her mouth when she’s just trying to exhale. God, please let the music cover it, MJ thinks. His hood’s still up as he steps even closer to her chair, subtly twitching his hips in her direction, and the ends of his sweatshirt dangle, flashing glimpses of more chest, more abs. MJ swallows and reminds herself that this is all kind of a joke. That she’s the one indulging him and they’ll laugh when this is over. She’ll apologize for the mix-up and he’ll shrug it off as he accepts monetary compensation for his time.

I’ve been readin’ your lips… the singer announces in a louder growl. Spider-Man abruptly strips the blue sleeves from his costume, leaving his torso bare beneath what’s now just a hooded red vest. He’s a fake superhero, but those arms are the real deal. Wow. …they don’t need no translation.

He widens his stance, drawing her eye down to his solid-looking thigh, then slides his hand across her shoulder to grip the back of her chair. His hips roll forward and she instinctively uncrosses her legs. With the extra room, Spider-Man briefly presses his thigh to hers. It scrunches the hem of her dress up before dragging it back down as he retreats. It’s reasonably innocent, likely not even intentional, but heat flares up MJ’s face like one of the candles she might blow out if this were actually her birthday. Honestly, she keeps forgetting it’s not.

They want more than a kiss, I come to make my donation.

Ok, she feels more than just thigh when he glides higher on her lap. MJ automatically flicks her gaze lower, because he’s a stranger and right in her space, and it lands on his groin. Spider-Man bucks suggestively and MJ immediately raises her eyes from the bump in the front of his close-fitting sweatpants. Jesus, is it warm in here? Somebody should do something about that before Liz gets home, fiddle with the thermostat or, or something…

So turn out the lights! the singer’s voice rockets up and goosebumps ripple up MJ’s arms as Spider-Man’s hands smooth down them in his fingerless gloves. He bounces low into a crouch and can’t be more than an inch away from the fabric of her dress as he rolls up her body, face in her lap for, I’m goin’ down slowly. Her pounding heart and rapid breathing almost push her boobs into his forehead when he reaches her chest.

Don’t tell me what’s right, just tell me you want me.

When their heads are level, Spider-Man surprises her by sitting lightly on her lap, nearly chest-to-chest. He takes her hands in his―MJ’s sufficiently stunned to allow him to break her grip on the seat―and guides them to his head, making her push his hood off. It’s strange to feel the mask under her palms. Wondering what his hair looks like really shouldn’t be a main concern right now.

Oh, tell me you want me. Just tell me you want me, want me, want me!

The more insistent the song becomes, the more persuasively Spider-Man gyrates in her lap. Sliding a hand over his head shouldn’t be this seductive without visible hair to push his fingers through, but the way his arm bulges with the motion makes up for it, in her opinion. MJ doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They hover in the air between their bodies.

Let’s make it, baby! the song explodes as he thrusts forward powerfully, throwing his head back.

Well, let’s make it, baby!

His hands go to his shoulders.

Well, let’s make it, baby!

He works his vest off, revealing the rest of his chest.

Let’s make it, baby!

He flings the vest toward the sofa. MJ doesn’t know whether or not it lands there. She doesn’t turn to look. This is… more muscle than she’s ever seen in person on a single human body. Once more, he takes hold of the back of her chair, but it’s with both hands now and his forearms squeeze her in, compelling her to lean forward as he grinds across her lap, forward and back, to, Come, come, come a little bit closer. His face angles into her neck; she feels his nose brush her skin through the mask. She can hear him breathing and it electrifies her. The only reason she clamps her thighs together like she does is to give him more room to straddle her. Really, it’s for his comfort, as a professional. Because this is all just… very professional.

She hasn’t determined where to lay her hands, which is fine because he has another use for them.

I wanna play doctor, the singer drawls while Spider-Man brings her hands to his pecs. Is his heart beating as hard under there as hers is right now or is she imagining it? He effortlessly takes gentle hold of her wrists and encourages her hands down his body. She doesn’t even notice when he lets her go to peel the gloves from his hands and push his sneakers off, leaving MJ to trace the thick, defined ridges of his abdomen.

It keeps gettin’ harder, harder, harder to keep it away!

With the end of the line, Spider-Man rips the sweatpants off―a series of metallic popping sounds too close together to count. Not that counting’s on her mind. Eyeing the cherry-red boxer-briefs that are even tighter than the sweats, she swallows. She can’t remember how to exist on the outside of this. She can’t find the door. Believing that this guy―who’s not really Spider-Man, just like she’s not really a birthday girl―understands, that they’re sharing the scorching intimacy she suddenly feels, is naïve. MJ is not naïve. She just can’t exactly explain why what should be an obvious (skillful, but obvious) pantomime of sex is working on her like real foreplay.

I wanna taste the sweat…

She swears he’s breathing harder than the dancing alone can explain when he palms her knees and pries them apart. Her legs are slack and willing. She is sweating.

…that’s runnin’ over your body.

Tucking his fingers into the backs of her knees, Spider-Man jerks her forward on her seat. It raises her hem to mid-thigh and her pulse to low orbit. He hikes her legs around his hips and she crosses her wrists behind his neck without guidance as he stays in what has to be a strenuous squat to body-roll. Everything comes forward in a delicious wave, from his shoulders to his crotch. From lots of angles, it probably looks like he’s fucking her into Liz’s kitchen chair.

In actuality, there’s no contact between them―not anyplace interesting―until…

Get the sheets all wet!

MJ doesn’t know if his hips nudge between her legs accidentally or intentionally on an overzealous roll. She’s never been given a lap dance before! Is this right? Is this permitted? He seems ready to run with it, repeating the action with greater certainty.

Yeah, I wanna make ya feel nau-nau-nau-nau-nau-nau-nau-naughty!

When the singer quits stuttering out the word, Spider-Man lifts MJ right off the chair into his arms. She inhales hard, desperate for air as the song returns to, Let’s make it, baby! And let’s make it, baby! Well, let’s make it, baby! And let’s make it, baby, baby! He has one hand grasping the underside of her thigh, the other clutching the middle of her back. He thrusts toward her through the chorus, shy of nudging the way he did before. The motion sways MJ fairly gently, thanks to his sure grip and ability to carry her weight with ease, but she might as well be tumbling around inside a washing machine for all she currently knows of up and down.

The animal urgency of the chorus drops down to the slow lull of instrumentals and Spider-Man sets MJ on her feet. She just about rolls her ankle and plans to never admit this made her weak in the knees. As irregular drumbeats keep her on edge, he sneaks around behind her and takes her wrists, raising her arms over her head as she fights the instinct to turn and stare at this guy’s mostly-naked body. She hasn’t dated anyone since before the pandemic, but it’s more than that. While she holds her arms up there, Spider-Man rocks against her from behind, the inside of his thigh rubbing the outside of hers, messing up her skirt, confusing her heartbeat. His hands clamp down on her hips and work them in a circular motion with her ass pressed directly against him.

Wait.

―

Peter’s hard. Of all the things that have definitely gone wrong (having to make up a routine from scratch after blanking in the face of a woman 20 years younger and 500 times more beautiful than who he expected to find) and probably gone wrong (he hasn’t shaken the exhilarating feeling that he’s almost certainly at the wrong house), this is the most serious. He’s in so, so far over his head and sinking deeper, metaphorically, as the woman he’s wrapped around cautiously returns the pressure, pressing his erection.

He was so nervous after meeting her that he went straight to setting up his music and forgot to ask for her name. It’s not like he can casually ask now. It feels like things have gone too far for that. Wasn’t he supposed to feel some layer of detachment, doing this? Stripping’s supposed to be a part-time job, like taking pictures for the Bugle. Maybe he’s too used to caring about people to set himself apart from this. Maybe it’s the shock of her youth and the feeling of touching a real-live person after practicing with an empty chair over months of physical distancing.

Maybe he’s just horny.

The instrumental section goes on and on and Peter yearns. This is a job, he thinks, running his hands up to her waist and back to her hips. As the musical intermission’s finally drawing to a close, he improvises again, scooping the woman up into his arms in a bridal carry just to eliminate the sweet friction against his dick. Where does he go from here? He knows what the tutorials told him, what really gets the target of a lap dance/strip show going. Could go with the couch and push his red vest aside, but the soft rug underfoot beckons.

Now turn out the lights! Bon Jovi rasps as Peter moves gradually to his knees and nuzzles his masked face into the woman’s chest because, at this point, why the hell not? She smells so good. He hears her gasp, then her fingers dig fleetingly into the back of his neck like she wants to hold him there. But she lets go and he lays her on her back in the valley created by leisurely-migrating silver balloons. The light refracted on the woman’s face is crisp and ethereal.

Don’t tell me you love, love me, no… Just, just tell me you want me.

Peter springs on top of her, arms braced and locked, and performs an exaggerated horizontal roll, his hips close above hers. This is the million-dollar (or, like, twenty-dollar) move. The one that unambiguously mimics sex. Though it’s so overstated, so dramatic, the tutorials claimed that, by this stage, the person being performed for would be so wound up, so aroused, that they’d just about believe it was the real thing. He watches the woman’s shaky breathing and flushed cheeks, feels her hands caress his abs, and thinks he’s doing pretty damn good. Too bad he can’t count this as a performance. The desire he feels when he lowers himself closer to her is not an act.

Don’t tell me you love me.

The skin-tight front of his underwear skims her dress. And, though she should really keep her legs out straight to do her part in preserving the distance between them (because he’s fucking failing), she slides her foot along the floor, raising her knee. Peter snatches hold of that knee with the feeling that they just signed some kind of contract and grinds himself against the fold of skirt between her legs. The woman’s chest heaves as she pants. His balls ache for him to stop playing.

Oh, tell me you want me, want me, want me, want me, want me, want me, want me! Bon Jovi and Peter’s sex drive demand, from a rumble up to a scream. Let’s make it, baby!

The woman beneath him tosses her head and bats away a balloon that clings to her hair. Her birthday crown’s askew.

Well, let’s make it, baby!

Peter’s hand is on her ribcage, too near her breast.

Well, let’s make it, baby!

He huffs, loud inside his mask, as he thrusts against her like she’s not some accident, like she asked him to meet her here. For this.

And let’s make it, baby!

Distinct lyrics burst into a high, expressive shriek of noise that sounds enough like a woman being pleasured to send a tingle up Peter’s spine. He grinds down hard, gripping the woman’s hip. By the second shriek, her back’s bowing, her hands commandingly squeezing his arms. By the third, she’s moaning as she rocks against him, tearing an appreciative grunt from him in response. The fourth shriek finishes her right before the song. Peter’s breathing hard on top of her, on the jaw-clenching edge of climax himself, feeling her writhe as the music fades out. It just leaves the two of them here, damningly entangled.

After a long silence, his playlist moves on. Peter stares down at her another few seconds as she strokes her fingers across her mouth, then her eyes snap to where she can’t see his through the goggles.

“Oh shit,” he mutters.

The woman laughs awkwardly like those two words are an understatement for the degree to which this has not gone as planned. She didn’t even know the plan, but anyone would know this was not the intended conclusion―a stripper dressed up in a novelty Spider-Man costume should excite, entertain, inspire lust. But he should stop short of dry-humping his client to completion. Yeah, that has to be an unwritten rule someplace. Peter really shouldn’t have needed to read it to know better though. This has just gotten incredibly out of hand and he has no idea what to say or do.

“LIZ IS ON HER WAY!” a female voice yells from the back of the house, maybe the kitchen that the other woman vanished into earlier.

Peter jerks to his feet, still rigid in the front of his underwear. He thinks the woman he just, uh, danced for is requesting help up, but she’s actually pointing. He looks and sees the bathroom just off the stairs.

“I’m good,” she says. “Go before Cindy sees you.”

Snagging his pants from the floor and the vest portion of his sweatshirt from the couch, Peter bolts for the bathroom as the woman sits up from the rug. Inside, his hands quake with adrenaline as he zips his sweatshirt and refastens all the snaps on his pants. He does his best to adjust things so his waning erection’s not too obvious. For a minute, he yanks the mask from his head and stares at himself in the mirror as he breathes. This is not the side-hustle for him. This was his first and last gig as the Spider-Man Stripper.

Mask back on, he returns to the front room to find the woman he was grinding all over standing with her arms crossed protectively as her friend appears to grill her under her breath. They both look at him as he stuffs his feet back into his shoes and grabs his gloves and the blue sleeves of his sweatshirt. He’ll just carry them. If he stood here and began redoing them, he’d probably die from mortification before he got the last snap snapped. He collects his phone, stopping the music mid-song. He doesn’t know what’s playing. Could be his favourite song in the world and he wouldn’t be able to hear it right now over the volume of the look his ‘birthday girl’ is giving him.

“I’ll just, um, show you out,” she offers, shepherding him away from the woman he takes to be Cindy. She doesn’t volunteer anything about the other person, Liz, who they seem to be expecting.

“Great.”

He’s thankful that Cindy gives them a little space and doesn’t follow. They pause in the entranceway. The woman presses two fifties into his hand, avoiding eye contact. Peter clears his dry throat and nods, closing his fingers over the money because he’s more uncomfortable about the idea of prolonging this with a back-and-forth over him saying it’s too much while she insists than he is about the idea that she’s kinda paying him for sex, even if thinks she doesn’t mean to.

She pulls the door open and Peter jumps aside for two women, one very pregnant. There’s a flurry of voices all of a sudden and when he slips outside onto the step before someone can ask who he is and what he’s doing here, he doesn’t expect the birthday girl to come after him.

“MJ,” she blurts out.

He grins under the mask.

“Peter.”

He never gets to tell people that when he’s in disguise, but she doesn’t know he really is Spider-Man. The honesty feels good.

“So, that was…”

“This wasn’t supposed to be… Um,” he starts again, swinging his arms slightly. “That was my first time. Doing this. I’ve never done a routine for anybody before, so I want you to know I haven’t, like, done that with a bunch of people. I’ve never done this. And I think, uh, based on what happened in there, that I probably shouldn’t.” Peter’s laugh is strained. “I really don’t―”

“Do you want my number?”

He chokes.

“What?”

“I… thought I might as well ask,” she says, clearly self-conscious, looking prepared for rejection.

“No, of course I do,” Peter tells her quickly, holding out his phone. “Please.”

“Ok.” MJ gives him a quick smile, then looks at his screen as she adds herself as a contact. He’s grateful she’s the one putting the numbers in. He really can’t be trusted with that. Peter’s not nervous now, just excited as he thinks about using the money she gave him to buy her dinner.

Though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer, he says, “This isn’t the right house, is it?” as she hands his phone back. She laughs.

“No.”

“Yeah, I… kinda had a feeling.”

“Hey, whoever she was, her loss was my gain,” MJ says bluntly, then blushes hard. Peter chuckles to himself, looking down.

“Ummm…”

“Well, I should get in there. Baby shower.”

“Right, yeah, sure, you gotta.”

“But call me.”

“I will. I definitely will.”

“Maybe you can even show me what you look like without the mask,” she says.

Peter nods, body nothing but a cage for a butterfly swarm, then turns. Behind him, he hears Cindy’s voice as MJ steps back inside.

“Did you just give him a hundred bucks?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s what you owe me for going in on the stroller!”

“I’ll go to the bank and take out another hundred right after the party if you want,” MJ offers, sounding unconcerned.

“But a hundred bucks? MJ, he was here for ten minutes!”

“Trust me, Peter earned it.”

“Peter?! That’s Spider-Man’s name?”

“Cindy, come on, he’s not actually Spider-Man.”

The door shuts. Of course he’s not. Peter could no more be Spider-Man than he could fall half in love with a woman simply because of the way she smelled and the fact that she wouldn’t let him off the hook for a lap dance. He starts down the sidewalk with a skip, smiling wide beneath his mask.

#my writing #spideychelle #spideychelle fic #spideychelle fanfiction #peter parker #peter x mj #peter x michelle #peter parker x michelle jones #michelle jones

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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February 20, 2021: An Affair to Remember (1957) (Part 1)

OK, Sleepless in Seattle, I’m calling your bluff.

In case you don’t remember, this film was a major part of Sleepless in Seattle, inspiring its climax. It also acted as a focal point for several conversations in the film, as well as one of its most iconic (and funniest) moments, seen above. But how I am “calling its bluff?”

See, Sleepless maintained that only women understand why this movie is great, and I obviously challenge that assessment, being of the man variety. So, yeah, let’s go! Seriously, after the last movie, I’m ready for something that I could actually enjoy, so let’s start it UP. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Vic Damone sings us in, as we see 1959-era Central Park, still pretty damn recognizable. On the news that night, we find out that Nicolò “Nickie” Ferrante (Cary Grant), a big game hunter, is getting married to a...”beautiful tomata with a lotta lettuce,” as news reporter Robert Q. Lewis (Robert Q. Lewis) says. Said vegetable-person is Lois Clark (Neva Patterson).

Ferrante’s on a cruise, and is extremely famous for whatever reason. However, it would appear that h’s also a inveterate playboy, as revealed by a call from a woman enraged that he’s getting married. Shortly afterwards, he’s greeted by Ned Hathaway (Charles Watts), his neighbor on the cruise, but he rushes out when he notices that his cigarette case is missing.

It’s been found by Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr), and the two meet and have conversation. Ever the playboy, he wishes to speak with her, and she’s mostly OK with it. And of course, Nickie...yeah, Nickie hits on her, and she’s not not interested. And, of course...here comes the shadows of infidelity.

INFIDELITY. ALWAYS WITH THE GODDAMN INFIDELITY! Nickie’s playboy, so I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less. And...ugh, it is the 1950s. Doesn’t make it OK, obviously, but I guess I should’ve expected this. Anyway, Terry objects, as she’s also in a relationship, with a rather wealthy gentleman at that. And yet, despite this, she still proposes having dinner with him.

They two begin a friendship, and if I know anything about these stories, it’s gonna become a bit more than just a friendship. The next morning, they both receive letters from their partners, but quickly brush those off to speak with each other about their pasts and their lives.

And even though their relationship involves infidelity, I’m absolutely sure, the two have quite a bit of chemistry. Like...really good chemistry. And they seem to recognize this as well, as Terry notes that they can’t be seen with each other. This is, of course, as a would-be paparazzo takes their picture together.

They encounter each other again when they help a child caught on the stairs. Cute kid. They arrive at the bar separately, and both order the same drink of rose champagne, which sounds pretty good to me. But at fear of gossippers on the ship, they once again part ways with each other.

However, to the delight of the shipgoers (and admittedly to me), they end up getting seated next to each other at dinner, back-to-back.

Embarrassed by the ABSOLUTE ASSHOLES ON THIS SHIP, GODDAMN, Terry leaves the dining hall. But of course, the two incidentally find each other AGAIN in the pool, as the ship itself gets close to a French port, Villefranche-sur-Mer. There, Nickie is set to meet his grandmother. Terry doesn’t believe that, so he invited her to meet her. She accepts, and they head into the definitely-not-romantic little village together.

Well, Nickie was telling the truth, as they meet his grandmother, Janou (Cathleen Nesbitt), who’s only 16 years older than Cary Grant, so...yeah, why not make her his mother, rather than grandmother? Weird choice, there, but whatever. She’s been praying in the chapel, likely to remember her lost husband as well. Terry asks if she can see it, and Janou gladly lets her. Nickie soon follows.

And this is a...it’s a nice little quiet moment. Not entirely quiet, as there’s some nice music in the background. But there’s no dialogue here. Just a quiet moment of prayer. It’s quite sweet, to be honest. Once the two leave, they spend more time with Nickie’s grandmother, and he gives her a portrait of her late husband, which he himself has painted. And DAMN, it’s a good painting!

For her part, Terry sings the French version of the opening song to Janou’s piano playing, but the boat whistle sounds, ending their visit altogether. And seeing this side of Nickie’s life is eye-opening for Terry, and Nickie is likewise intrigued with Terry. Well...it might be infidelity...but damn me if they don’t have a strong connection.

And they’re definitely feeling that, too. Terry initially refuses, but then draws Nickie in for the kiss on the stairs, which is offscreen in a GORGEOUS shot. They part ways, but they continue to see each other over the course of the ship, both professing that they miss each other. They try to keep out of the public eye, but their connection is still obviously strong.

However, this is complicated when Mr. Hathaway shows up and reveals that the ship’s photographer is selling pictures of them to everybody on the ship, which is amusing to nearly everyone on the ship. I tell you, this goddamn ship is a toxic dating environment, and these people are the nosiest busybodies in the world.

They decide to abandon their caution, and go dancing together with everyone else. They share a romantic dance alone on the deck, but Terry stops, realizing how transient this affair is. They have a moment together, and that’s when one of the most iconic scenes of the film takes place. You know...

It’s quite a good line, and is prefaced by a proposal from Nickie. And I do mean a marriage proposal, of sorts. See, the two realize that they both have a certain standard of living, and that abandoning their prospective spouses for each other would mean sacrifice and lifestyle change. But for love, they’re willing to do it.

The next day, the ship reaches New York City. They agree that, if things work out, they will meet each other in six months, at the top of the Empire State Building. They kiss goodbye, while Terry worries that something may happen. But perish the thought.

With that, the two part ways with their respective partners, albeit unwillingly, and we reach the midway point.

See you in Part 2!

#an affair to remember #leo mccarey #cary grant #deborah kerr #nickie ferrante #terry mckay #richard denning #neva patterson #cathleen nesbitt #romance february #romance movie #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #user365

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augustheads · 5 years ago

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taylor swift asks!

debut: when did you find out your life’s passion?

fearless: what is one thing you did that scared you but you did it anyway?

speak now: what is something you did by yourself that you are most proud of?

red: what life event put through through hell but you ended up better for it?

1989: what makes you feel most free/at ease?

reputation: have you ever had a bunch of people believe a lie about you? how did you deal with it?

lover: what type of love means the most to you right now?

beautiful eyes: what cheesy/lame thing gives you joy?

the holiday collection: what is your favorite holiday?

meredith, olivia & benjamin: what animal do you identify with most? why?

13: what superstition do you hold on to the most?

polaroids: what retro/vintage thing do you particularly enjoy?

hot glue gun scar: what is the funniest injury you ever got?

mean or shake it off: do you like to stand up for yourself to people who are rude to you or do you just move on from them?

b-stage: what acoustic/lowkey song gives you the most comfort?

sparkly dresses: what is your favorite unconventional clothing in your wardrobe?

baking: what is your favorite food to make? includes drinks, food, dessert, etc.

grammys: what is your biggest achievement?

tim mcgraw: what old work of yours are you still proud of to this day? it can be a poem, an edit, a painting, an essay, an award you won in elementary school!

love story: what classic tale would you want to change? fairytales, plays, movies, etc!

long live: do you have someone who has been your rock for many years? the answer can be your mom, your cat, your best friend, even you!

all too well: what do you remember like it was yesterday?

clean: have you struggled with letting something/someone go? how did you get out? or how do you plan on letting go?

i did something bad: what is something you did that people told you you shouldn’t have but you nonetheless enjoyed it?

a girl called girl: what did you create when you were young that you are surprised by today?

prologues: favourite quote from a taylor prologue or speech?

jersey shore: did you have any summer traditions with your family or friends growing up?

christmas tree farm: how did where you grew up shape you into who you are?

human-sized bird cage: do you have decor that is a little (or a lotta) out of the ordinary? what is it?

scrabble: favourite board game?

surprise face: are you expressive with your face? explain!

wonderstruck: what ~fancy~ word do you like the most?

wonderstruck enchanted: what is your go-to perfume?

taylor: how do you reference Taylor Swift to your friends/family? first-name basis? her full name?

incredible things: what are 3 things off of the top of your head that make you go “wow”?

secret messages: what does no one know about you? this can be lighthearted!

F. Scott Fitzgerald: favourite author?

Neruda: favourite poet?

the story’s got dust on every page: what is your favourite book or short story?

why she disappeared: what is your favourite poem?

red lipstick: what style choice does everyone know you for?

so overnight you look like a sixties' queen: which taylor album aesthetic do you like the most?

sharpie eyeliner: what beauty faux pas have you made?

painting: favourite hobby?

candid: favourite candid?

superstar: favourite red carpet look?

old fashioned: (if you have had alcohol before) favourite cocktail? if not, favourite soda/carbonated beverage?

drinking beer out of plastic cups: (if you have had alcohol before) favourite beer? if not, favourite juice?

i'm spilling wine in the bathtub: (if you have had alcohol before) favourite wine? if not, tea or coffee?

chicken tenders: what could you eat everyday?

cheesecake: favourite food?

love actually: favourite movie?

little mermaid: childhood hero?

12/13/89: what is your birthday? bonus for telling us your astrological sign!

country accent: what old habit did you have makes you cringe now?

chai tea eggnog cookies: favorite dessert?

voice memo: how to you record important things?

double jointed elbows: what is your “party trick” or just a weird thing you can do/your body does?

teffy: what weird nickname do you have/have you had?

got a long list starbucks lovers: what is your starbucks order?

track 5: favourite track 5?

f.r.i.e.n.d.s: favourite TV show?

#kat speaks #ts ask #darling dork #taylor swift #ask game #taylor swift ask game #red #speak now #reputation #lover #fearless #i made it longer!!!#spread!!!!

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yeahwellyourface · 4 years ago

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MOVIE REVIEW TIME!! A Little Chaos and Far From The Madding Crowd

I had a Matthias Schoenaerts weekend cause the boy can get it. Both of these movies were already on my list, but when I realized he was in them, they jumped to the top. So, here we go.

A Little Chaos

Available on Netflix. Directed by Alan Rickman. Stars: Kate Winslet, Matthias Schoenaerts, Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci, Helen McCrory, and Jennifer Ehle

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2639254/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This one has been on my list for awhile but I really wasn’t in the mood for a depressing period piece. FYI, it is not a depressing period piece. In fact, the word I think works best for describing it is “cute.” It is not a great film, but it is very enjoyable. I smiled through most of it and then when I turned it off, I realized I was still smiling.

The basic plot is that French king Louis XIV is building Versailles and his head gardener, Andre Le Notre, is hiring different gardeners to do different parts of the whole since it is a whole lotta shit. Against his original idea, he hires Madame Sabine de Barra to create a section of the garden that will basically be an outdoor ballroom. She doesn’t do well at court, but some people still like her, some don’t. Given that there is an actual outdoor ballroom at Versailles, I don’t think I’m giving anything away by saying that she eventually builds it (although in actuality, it was not built by a woman…unfortunately). But that’s it. It is a very simple little movie. It is full of tropes and could be quite stupid but the amazing cast makes it charming instead.

So, the fantastic cast…everyone is basically doing exactly what you want them to do. Kate Winslet as Sabine de Barra plays a woman who has been through some shit but is gonna get things done her way and it is no use to try and stop her. She is better than you. Just accept it. Matthias Schoenaerts as Andre Le Notre is mainly there to look pretty (difficult with that horrible hair, but he can do it) and worship de Barra as she deserves. Alan Rickman plays Louis XIV because why the fuck not. Stanley Tucci plays the king’s outlandish bisexual brother who adores both his wife and his young lover. He was in the movie for like 10 minutes and was the best thing ever. Seriously, we need to protect Stanley Tucci at all costs. Helen McCrory is Madame Le Notre and is a bad bitch as only she can be. I bow down to her. Jennifer Ehle plays against type as the flighty mistress to the king. I thought I was going to hate her because the character was supposed to be annoying at first, but I ended up loving her too.

So, yeah. Not a movie to go nuts over, but if you are curled up on the couch one afternoon and want something light and sweet, this will do the trick.

Far From The Madding Crowd

Available on Amazon (but you have to pay for it, even with prime). Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy. Directed by Thomas Vinterberg. Stars: Carey Mulligan, Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Sheen, Tom Sturridge, Juno Temple.

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2935476/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This is another one I’ve been considering for awhile. See that bit above where it says “Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy?” Yeah….that’s why I was putting it off. Now, it’s not that I dislike Thomas Hardy. I actually enjoyed Return of the Native…kinda. But his stuff is very much overdramatic, windswept English countryside. And damn, if that is not something that I am always willing to go for. But I’d do it for Matthias Schoenaerts. So I did.

So, here is the basic plot if you’ve never read the book (and I actually haven’t, but I’ve read about it…does that count?)…young woman, Bathsheba Everdene, with a middle-to-upper class education lives with family on a farm because her parents died. She meets a young man, Gabriel Oak, and then enjoy hanging out and working on the farm together. He has land that is almost paid off and a bunch of sheep. Her aunt owns the land that they live on and work. He falls in love and asks her to marry him. She says no, she doesn’t want to get married and be tied down to a husband. Immediately after, their fortunes reverse. He loses all his sheep (and it’s kinda horrible and depressing, so if you need to look away, I understand) and his land. She inherits a pretty nice farm and is no longer dependent on family. He’s wandering looking for work and accidentally stumbles on her new farm and gets a job as a shepherd there.

Now that she is moving among the landed class, she meets the next door neighbor, Mr. Boldwood, who falls in love with her (the way that happens is she plays a prank on him and is generally an asshole and hurts him and damn, woman, wtf, that was mean…but she does apologize). He asks her to marry him. She says she’ll think about it.

Mixed in with this, we see a side story about an army sergeant and his pretty sweetheart, who used to work at the Everdene farm but ran away to be with the guy…never a good move. They were supposed to get married, but she went to the wrong church. By the time she gets to the right church, he thinks she stood him up and has left. She is now destitute since she left her friends and family. This was another scene where I couldn’t bear to watch. I knew what was going to happen and seeing them both so happy getting ready for the wedding just broke my heart, so I fast forwarded. Sue me.

Anyway, army sergeant Frank Troy is now wandering drunk around the countryside brokenhearted and literally runs into Miss Everdene. She thinks he’s cute and decides to meet up with him. He shows off flashy sword moves and then kisses her and pulls a trump and then runs off. Because we do stupid things sometimes, she is completely charmed by him and runs away to marry him.

Now, through all of this, Mr. Oak has worked for her and been there for her and tried to help her and give advice. He points out that she was an asshole to Mr. Boldwood and she gets pissed at him for telling her because she knows she was and she doesn’t want to be told. He knows that Sergeant Troy is an asshole and tries to convince Miss Everdene to stay away from him but she doesn’t.

Literally at her wedding dinner with Sergeant Troy, Miss Everdene (Mrs. Troy now) realizes that she married and asshole. But she’s stuck with him.

If you really want me to tell you the rest in detail, I will. But basically, she has to deal with an asshole husband, a rich neighbor who is still in love with her (and kinda off his rocker about it), and the shepherd who has loved her for years and been there to support her even when she was an asshole to him. I wonder who she will end up with?!?!Okay, now for the movie. It was just okay. Like, I’ve read the first couple chapters of the book and there is SO MUCH INFORMATION that cannot be put into a movie. There is just not enough time. This is the problem with turning a book into a movie. They have to skip so much that they can end up leaving a lot of it flat. We see Miss Everdene be a good person several times. But we also see her be an asshole. I wish we had been able to see her more indepth. But there wasn’t time. I never felt fully connected to her. When she was being good, I liked her. When she was being an asshole, I disliked her. There was no continuity between those feelings. The movie never gave me a chance to feel conflicted over her. It was all surface feelings. Carey Mulligan does a good enough job for what she is given. But the best relationship is between her and her companion. That’s the only string that carries through with that character.

Matthias Schoenaerts is beautiful, of course. He is the solid character that all the others are whirling around. He is a big man, much bigger and taller than Carey Mulligan and Michael Sheen, but you can see how he curls his shoulders down to give the two of them more power as he is lower class than they are. There is a scene between him and Michael Sheen near the end where he straightens Sheen’s tie, and I think that is the only moment between those two where Schoenaerts stands up straight, as for a moment, they are almost equals. However, by the end of the scene, he is curled in again. It’s really interesting on the choices made there. Because when he is not in a position where he is “under” them, when he is working and being damn good at his job, he is standing up straight. It’s fascinating to see the difference between the two sides of this character.

Michael Sheen. Oh goodness, Michael Sheen. He did so much better for this character than this movie deserved. I love this man and he is so good as an actor, but this character is a bit out there. I wonder how much of his bipolarness is in the book. Cause the character is all over the place in the movie. He goes from one extreme to the next. And yes, some of the plot points are definitely from the book, but the in between stuff….is he really like that? So, Sheen does a great job with what he is given, again. But the character is just so weird and again, very little continuity throughout.

Tom Sturridge plays Sergeant Troy. This character is a huge asshole and Tom Sturridge plays him perfectly. If I met Tom Sturridge on the street, I would want to slap him because I hate him. That is a good sign for an actor.

Juno Temple…another one I love. She is slowly becoming a bigger name, but deserves so much more. In this, she plays Fannie, Sergeant Troy’s first sweetheart. He didn’t deserve her. And I love Juno Temple, so she can do no wrong.

Overall, it’s an okay movie. I won’t pay for it again. I rented it and I’m glad I didn’t buy it. But if it comes on tv, I’ll watch it. If you want to watch it, you won’t hate it. But I don’t recommend running out and grabbing it any which way. The cinematography was BEAUTIFUL. The way they used light was lovely.

So, since I mentioned Matthias Schoenaerts as my reason for going ahead and watching these, lemme talk about my feelings for him in these. He is very strange. Watching interviews with him and seeing his artwork, he seems to be a ball of chaotic energy, but in both of these movies, he is the calm figure that the others bounce around. I watched the beginning of Rust and Bone, but then my internet went out and I wasn’t able to finish it without paying for it again (which I intend to do). And of course, I ADORE The Old Guard. That’s another one where he plays against what seems to be his personality type. I also love The Drop (seriously, one of my all-time favorite movies and if you haven’t seen it, go watch it NOW). That character seems to be a bit more on his level with the chaos, but I hope not with the assholeishness.

Either way, he was stunningly beautiful in these movies. Kate Winslet adored working with him and says that he was so sweet about their sex scene because she was pregnant and felt like shit. His hair is awful in A Little Chaos, but I’ll forgive him, this time.

Anyway, watch A Little Chaos at some point. And I guess you should watch Far From The Madding Crowd at some point too, but don’t pay for it if you don’t have to. Go watch The Old Guard and The Drop RIGHT NOW. Those are much better movies of his. Go watch Rust and Bone and I will watch the rest of it soon.

In A Little Chaos. Seriously....why would they do this with his hair.

And in Far From The Madding Crowd. See....much better. And I see you, dude in the background looking at him. I agree, he is definitely a snack.

#matthias schoenaerts #movie review #a little chaos #far from the madding crowd #long post #something about his face makes me want to sit on it

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daincrediblegg · 5 years ago

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Can you please feed us some GORGEOUS Gen x Arthur hc's ????? Because we love you and we love Arthur and we stan our OTP. Please and thanks xp [I got'chu, boo

Genevieve x Arthur Fleck Headcanons

lmao LMAO LMAO ok so... idk what this is??? this is just how we are irl. ain’t no real scenario around it, but it still serves as a basic breakdown of our relationship as it’s unfolded the last 7 months or so. Thank you for giving me a platform to share this lmao. Sorry if it’s cringey and personal as hell, but hey, that’s life, and y’all know I don’t give a fuck by now.

We met in October. I’d snuck into a showing of Joker with my dad after the premier of Zombieland 2, and watched his story unfold. I couldn’t get him out of my head the whole night. I saw him again a little less than a week later, and I’d realized I’d wanted more. We’d agreed to meet for coffee the next day.

The next couple of weeks was just pure fascination with each other. I poured my heart into learning everything about him, and he seemed so genuinely interested in learning all he could about me too.

Even though I was going through what’s easily been one of the most harrowing mental health crises that I’ve ever experienced… he fell quick for me, and hard. And I did too. He… he made me feel like I wasn’t alone. We were leading very similar lives (minus, y’know, murder- on my end), and knowing that he felt my pain when it seemed like not a whole lot of people really did… it made me feel seen. And it didn’t take long for things to get really heated. We’ve been together ever since.

He’s the one that got me to start taking my medication. I’d never been on antidepressants, and I was a little scared of the side-affects since the only other ones I’d tried made me dizzy and out of breath (and I’m a massive hypochondriac on top of all the other shit I’ve got going on in my head). But he convinced me that I was worth living for, and that was the little push I needed. I knew I wanted to get better, but he’d convinced me that I could.

I drew him a lot those first few months we were together. His physicality still entrances me to this day. His elegance, yet this almost distinctly cartoonish poise and his innocence… he inspired me a lot. More than I had been in months. He’s shy about being the subject of a lot of my drawings… but he lets me anyway because he’s amazed at how it shows how I see him (which is fucking beautiful, like a disney prince thank you very much).

We spent a lot of those first few months just lying in bed after a long day of writing and drawing, holding each other close and talking. About everything. It all felt so freeing to me that I could say just about anything to him and have him actually listen without judgement. And sure, he has his opinions, but he doesn’t dismiss mine.

We did so much together too. We used to go to movies (not just his lmao), we got hot chocolates together and walked around town during christmas time.

For Christmas he gave me a beautiful necklace- a pretty blue/green pendant on a gold chain (that y’all might’ve seen in some of my selfies- and I wear it DAILY) and a silver bracelet with little red roses and garnets on it. They’re some of the best presents I’ve ever gotten.

I gave him a scarf (that I’d worn out to work for weeks so that it’d smell like me at his request) and some chocolate.

I was also dealing with quite a few health problems those first few months, so he’s well versed in all my medical bullshit lmao.

I’ve got a weird bladder that just constantly feels infected (even though it’s actually not most of the time), which means that we can’t have penetrative sex sometimes (but we’re just as happy to touch each other in different ways even when I can’t stand to go all the way).

I was still having some panic attacks when I was on a higher dosage of my medication, and he’s very good at bringing me down from them. He holds me close and tells me to breathe slowly and deeply with him until I calm down and start to feel okay- even when I get super fidget-y from it. I can’t begin to thank him enough for helping me through it all as he has.

We don’t argue much. We see eye-to-eye where it counts, so we hardly ever get into moral disputes. But when we do it’s usually when I’m in a depressive rut and I’ve gone distant. He’s never raised his voice at me when it happens, but some heated conversations have spawned from it. And I’ll admit I’m not the most eloquent with these things sometimes. And I’ve said things that I didn’t mean to hurt him but just to say with honesty. He knows I have doubts sometimes. He does too, but we’ve been able to work through them well enough-better than most I imagine.

We uh… we have a lot of sex. No surprise.

We’re virgins (well, technically. At least with the opposite sex). We’re horny. We’ve got high sex drives and we’re not afraid to take it out on each other.

I’ve had a lot of body anxiety in the past, but with Arthur it feels even more non-existent than it’s ever been. He really loves my body. Not in a fetish-y way like a lot of guys have hinted at in the past. When I’m with him I really feel like his desire for me comes from love, that my body isn’t just a thing to get him off, but rather that he desires me for who and what I am, and I haven’t really ever felt that even with any of the other FICTIONAL guys I’ve been with before.

And he knows that I love him just the same. Body and soul. It’s a total two-way street. And we never feel the need to change for each other one bit. For that I’m so grateful god I could fucking cry.

And it’s made me do a lot of things that I kinda didn’t want or thought were inaccessible to me before I met him. I fucking wear lacy bras and matching panties (for the first time in my life!!!) on the reg because Arthur said that I deserved to have them if I wanted them (not to mention that I look beautiful in them to him), and now I’m coming around to the idea of putting on a little makeup ‘cause it makes me feel really pretty and Arthur agrees???? Like this MAN has really made me flourish for the better tbh I love him so fucking much.

Before the pandemic he used to meet me at my regular haunt to watch me work after his gig for the day. He’d sit across from me and watch me fumble around with all my outlines and notes, sometimes taking out his own journal himself while he steals some of my coffee, taking my hand and running a thumb over it idly.

He really enjoys my screenwriting. My writing is very exciting, he says. He’s really supportive of my career choice, even though it’s still a long ways off from being anything tangible or serious. And he’s very supportive of the things I’ve written about him too. He doesn’t mind as long as some things get to stay just between us (and by and large he says I’ve done a pretty good job of that lmao).

I sing for him a lot. We dance together too. I’ve always been a singer for as long as I can remember but being so depressed so long I didn’t really as much as I’d have liked. But for him I sing just about every day. Lotta swing-jazz numbers like from Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby and Caro Emerald. Some classic rock like Elton John and Billy Joel and Jethro Tull. He says he likes the way I sing their songs the best. Idk if I agree with him, but I believe him.

He says we’re a dynamic duo in a way. Like since he dances and I sing, we’re a complete show. It’s the cutest fucking shit he’s ever said to me

We kind of agreed to get married once the lockdown’s over. Neither of us really proposed to the other, exactly. We had been thinking about it for months (we’ve been talking about it since Christmas lmao- he’s said he wants to marry me so many times), but the first few weeks of this lockdown thing were really hard on me. It all felt very harrowing with everything changing all at once.

And it was really touch-and-go for us. It was harder for me to feel him. And sure it had been hard before but it was… not quite as bad as this was. I almost thought we were done.

But he stuck around, and helped me through it as much as he could despite how numb I was feeling. And he was still there when the dust settled, even stronger than before. So I told him one morning that I wanted to get married when all of this was over, and he agreed.

So once the shelter in place order is lifted, we’re gonna go to the same jewlery shop he got me my favorite necklace, and pick out some rings. I for one am very excited.

And until then we’re perfectly content to enjoy this break from our normal everyday lives with each other. Even though it’s been harder for me to write we’re pulling through this whole thing just fine.

#personal #my writing #arthur fleck x egg #joker x egg #FOR REAL THO OTP???? YOU GONNA MAKE ME CRY FAM #lmao feel free to ask about us more especially with some specifics (within reason ofc)#thank you for being supportive of me doing this hun omg I could crie

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saintsandsiinners · 5 years ago

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full name: elyse alkisti diamond

nickname: el, lyse

stage name: shelly bellaire

age: twenty-three

date of birth: september 30th

place of birth: boston, mass.

zodiac: libra

gender: cis-female

nationality: greek-hispanic american

sexual orientation: pansexual

romantic orientation: panromantic

relationship status: single

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.

height: 5′’6’

weight: 210lbs

hair color: dark brown

eye color: brown

need glasses/contacts? no

tattoos: has “fuck off” tattooed on the side of her left middle finger, has “reach for the stars” tattooed on her right middle finger, has the greek word for diamond tattooed on her left hip.

piercings: both of her nipples are pierced as well as her tongue. both of her ears are pierced, three holes each and there’s a cartilage piercing on her right ear.

distinguishing marks: freckles, freckles, freckles. she has a scar on her right knee from where she fell off her bike when she was little.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION.

hometown: boston, mass.

current residence: dayton, ca

past residences: san diego, ca.

living arrangement: has her own apartment.

spoken languages: english, greek, spanish

financial status: fairly well off.

education level: high school diploma, currently working on a bachelor’s degree in math.

occupation: porn star

FAMILIAL INFORMATION.

father: tobias diamond ( 70 ),

mother: aliki diamond ( 52 ),

siblings: juliette ( 43 ), cole ( 39 ), xanthi ( 29 ), evan (deceased), george ( 25 )

children: none

pets? none

other: n/a

PERSONALITY.

positive traits: opinionated, outgoing, friendly, verbose, confident, adventurous.

negative traits: stubborn, judgmental, impulsive

likes: the color black, fishnet stockings. going braless. showing off her nipple piercings. dancing. drinking. being taken care of. getting recognized for one of her films. tattoos (a lot, they’re a weakness for her on other people). the witching hour. tarot cards. video games. arcade games. reading. math. red sox.

dislikes: bullies. cats. roller coasters. bats. anything that flies. motorcycles. ignorance. yankees (and most other sports). daisies. romance novels.

quirks: she almost always has gum with her because she’s constantly chewing a piece to satiate her oral fixation.

HISTORY

being a diamond is one of elyse’s things about her life. born and raised in boston, elyse hails from a greek-hispanic american background. her father is spanish-american while her mother was born and raised in greece. an eclectic combination and one might wonder how a beautiful greek goddess ever managed to land a Lothario like her father. truth is? her mother was his nanny, hired to watch his children from a previous marriage. her mother merely used the nanny job as a way to make extra money because her true love and passion in life is bound in writing scripts for adult films (tentacle porn is her favorite genre). long story short, it was a match made in heaven and before long, her mother and father married and voila, elyse was born six years after they married.

a precocious individual, elyse is a perfect balance of her father’s determination and her mother’s confidence. she’s tenacious and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. to grow up in a world of social media where your every move is tracked, watched and ridiculed, her childhood was rough in the simple light of cruel children. because she didn’t fit the norm. she wasn’t skinny. she had big hair and buck teeth and braces until she was sixteen. she had big, round glasses and just because she wore her clothes just a little bit tight meant she was asking for some.

elyse has always been quick to cut down bullies. they’re the worst of the worst and she never took kindly to being bullied herself. suspensions and detentions were always dolled out and only because she defended herself from naysayers and assholes who thought they were better than her just because they could run five miles without getting winded. nobody should ever have to run five miles. it’s ungodly. inhumane. she’ll get on a treadmill with the rest of ‘em, but she’ll never willingly run - not even to save her own damn life.

during her senior year of high school, she participated and hosted several anti-bullying rallies in boston. bullying statistics that year were knocked down 12% because of her efforts and ever since then, she makes it a point to participate in as many anti-bullying seminars as she’s able to attend.

she was fairly active as a kid. she was always outside. when she wasn’t outside, she had her nose stuck in a math book and for extra credit in high school, she tutored several of her classmates who were falling behind.

giacomo ambrogino was her first love, and one of the jocks she had to tutor, and he’ll always have a place in her heart. their relationship hadn’t been easy, considering how bigoted some people could be - especially in high school. the fat girl and the jock. they were a constant joke.

her brother, evan, was killed when elyse was still in high school. he just disappeared one day, never to be heard from again and a few years later, elyse learned the truth. killed by a member of the ambrogino family because of what her brother (who’d always been a little off in the head) had done to his daughter. this truth put a strain on her relationship with giacomo and eventually, they called it quits and went their separate. elyse still checks up on him from time to time to see how he’s doing just because a relationship like theirs you don’t really forget.

she had a brief stint as a camgirl when she turned eighteen. her parents were not happy about the camgirl thing when they found out, so elyse eventually ended up in the adult film industry. her mother writes films for the same industry, but they worked under two different umbrellas because starring in films your mother writes is just weird. elyse made quite a household name for herself as ‘shelly bellaire’ in upwards of fifteen movies, including “A Lotta Lizards” and “ Lumpy Bar Sluts and the Mistress of Spankville”.

she moved to dayton a couple of years ago. in part to see what life on the ‘west coast’ was like and because it helped her be closer to most of her film locations. flying back and forth to boston can get costly and this move just seemed like the best choice.

occasionally, elyse will pick up a role here and there, though not as much as she used to. she does travel because of this, so there may be weeks at a time when she’s not in dayton for this reason.

#( headcanon : elyse diamond )

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princesssarcastia · 6 years ago

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Leverage International

Soooooo I just rewatched the leverage finale, and GOD what a wonderful sandbox to play in. I still want a season six or a movie tbh, there’s such a wonderful story there that I trust them to tell. But in the meantime...

I think it was @smokeandsong who referred to leverage as “millennial revenge porn,” and they were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

Step one: I know people have said this before, but obviously this is a dichotomous setup: we have the ot3 running cons and crossing evil rich dudes off their list on one side, and Nate and Sophie running around Europe, Most Definitely Retired, Yes Siree, on the other.

(Nate could not retire if his life depended on it, let’s be real, and Sophie is absolutely willing to enable his robin hood tendencies)

Step two: Leverage International

See, in the finale the ot3 talked about how every crew in the world was gonna want a piece of that action. so I think it would be cool to see a whole range of thieves, hitters, hackers, grifters, all coming to Parker and hardison and Elliot for a piece of that action

some of them are in it for the money, sure. but some of them want a piece of that millennial revenge. Nate was right; the men and women on this list broke the world, and the only reason they got away with it was because they were rich. they fucked a whole lotta people over. I wanna see those people not just coming to leverage for help, but taking action themselves

There’s the bby!hacker who comes to them for help taking on the real estate mogul that got their family's house foreclosed back in ‘08

the lesbian couple that took to grifting to make ends meet, a la Debbie ocean, and get in over their heads with an awful banker dude

the young disillusioned political activist who needs help hacking the government to ensure government workers get the pension funds they were promised by their state

and all of these thieves and hacker and grifters and hitters who join up with leverage for a heist, I want most of them to irrefutably ascribe to a post-modern sense of identity. like, I’m talking every color of the literal rainbow and the LGBTQ+ rainbow, I want this to be the most blatantly diverse cast ever seen on TV, no doubt about it.

now they are absolutely going after rich bastards. as anyone can tell you, though, those bastards have some pretty suspicious links to the government. and in some cases, they are the government! revolving door, anyone? (where’s that chart, about the percentage of millionaires in congress versus the percentage of the us pop that are millionaires) so as time goes on, their heists get closer and closer to the government, involve taking down more and more corrupt politicians.

I mean, this wouldn't exactly be new ground for the show. They’ve touched on shady corporate-government ties before, called people out about donations and voting and such. but I want it to be a fucking pattern.

Step Three: Sterling.

It seems to me that, no matter who he’s playing, all of Mark Sheppard’s characters fall firmly into the lawful column of the alignment chart. good, evil, whatever; he may be an opportunist, but in the blackened cockles of his heart he loves to thrive within a defined set of rules, and ensure that his enemies get trapped by the very same.

So here is Jim “Lawful good/lawful neutral leaning” Sterling, agent of Interpol. Sterling who, when we last saw him, was absolutely paying back his debt to Nate, but also said that justice is always easy. Who is maybe willing to bend the rules sometimes, but also kinda likes to play the righteous man, who probably imagines himself the Holmes to nate’s moriarty.

Jim Sterling, who spends his time solving cases around the world and occasionally being harassed by Nate and Sophie (because why not), or being called to take out the trash when Nate and Sophie are done with someone (because really, these rich assholes make it so easy).

Jim Sterling, who, as he spends more and more time with Interpol, finds himself running into people within his organization, within the governments of countries he’s operating in, within cooperating organizations, within suspect multinational corporations, that aren't even manipulating the system, they’r just flat-out ignoring it! Who really, truly just...use their money and influence to get away with some really awful shit. And that bugs the shit out of his lawful little heart.

So maybe he kicks one or two people Nate and Sophie’s way. Just a little bit. Leaves them a name, lets them overhear a conversation, looks in the other direction...maaaayyybbeee leaves a door open once or twice. Always with plausible deniability, of course, but he imagines that these corrupt rule-ignorers are getting their just desserts in the end. Justice is always an easy choice.

Except, as Sterling spends more and more time at Interpol, he finds himself brushing up at the edges of...something. People knowing each other who shouldn't, stonewalling from his superiors when they should be giving him a green light, loopholes in the system that shouldn't logically be there stopping him from bringing someone to justice. It is incredibly frustrating.

Step Four: The Paradise Papers

You know, that large, multi-continent-spanning, numerous-corporations-and-politicans-incriminating conspiracy uncovered by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists about tax havens and fraud, etc., that nobody gave a shit about?

Apparently, the whole thing was kicked off by an anonymous Reddit user dropping hints

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It’s interesting, actually; one of the major U.S. official connected with these papers was Gary Cohen, former chief economic advisor to Trump, and former chief operating officer of Goldman Sachs during the 2008 financial crisis.

EVERYTHIGN IS CONNECTED. WE COME FULL CIRCLE.

six months ago:

Sterling kept up with feeding people to Nate and Sophie to chew up and spit out, and started dropping hints about the weird conspiracy he was running up against

Hardison, Parker, and Eliot have resorted to putting up a giant red-stringed conspiracy board in the back room of the pub because this shit is so complicated and difficult to keep track of.

Eventually, ot3 follows the money to someone sterling recently kicked Nate and Sophie’s way, except it’s way bigger than they thought it was. they’re gonna need a bigger boat

At this point, they call on the friends and allies they've made along the way taking down the smaller fish on the list, and together they uncover this MASSIVE CONSPIRACY involving LITERALLY EVERY RICH PERSON EVERY JESUS CHRIST

(behind every great fortune is a great crime. the same crime, apparently, all these rich people are involved in the SAME FUCKING CONSPIRACY WHAT THE FUCK)

Hardison starts vaguebloggin on Reddit because Sterling tipped them off that once again, the governments of the world knew and shrugged it off, so they need to hang them in the court of public opinion. what better way to do so than setting a league of journalists on them?

The Team, Serendipitously Reunited On The Job, work together to infiltrate the offshore law firm responsible for covering everything up which is definitely not called appleby and get ahold of the documents they need to incriminate everyone, paired with the stuff in the black book. there’s a surprising amount of overlap between these documents and the black book, which was Definitely Not Part Of The Plan

(in this world of gratuitous millennial revenge porn, of course, people sit up and give a fuck, instead of what happened in the real world, which is nothing)

so what do we get? “Endless parades of bankers being led around in chains.” except it’s not just bankers, its politicians, career government officials, heads of corporations, etc.

The world makes the choice between justice and order, and they choose justice

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