#lotsa e words

[goat-and-a-pig]

favorite word?

Embezzlement

[thesummerpetrichor]

𝓞𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓼

Javier Peña x afab!reader

Summary: You’re a sociology student writing your final thesis, you shouldn’t care whether the new DEA attaché is an asshole, you shouldn’t be getting on his nerves every chance you get, shouldn’t be dreaming of him the way you do, and you certainly shouldn’t be bent over his desk in the middle of the night– letting him fuck you senseless.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, big girthy age gap [reader is in her early twenties Javier is in his mid 40s], petnames [sweetheart, girlie, baby, babygirl etc], smut, explicit sexual content, explicit language, daddy kink, dom!Javi, mean brat tamer! javi, sub!reader, major size kink, reader is a menace and a brat, cheek pulling, like two spanks and a slap, minor choking, degradation, name calling, fingering, semi public sex [in his office], rough sex, unprotected P in V [don't do it you’re better than them!!] let me know if I missed anything!!

Word count: 8.7k

A/N: Lotsa porn, lotsa plot. Filthier than I’d like to admit but here we are. Javier is emotionally unavailable but I don’t care. Enjoy nasties. Mwah 💗

Masterlist

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

You were sure you looked nothing short of unstable– the way you were smiling to yourself as you hit the ‘submit’ button on the first checkpoint of your research paper. The past few months had been absolute chaos, and you weren’t really sure what was worse; the fact that your workplace had become an HR nightmare, or the way you were enjoying every goddamn second of it. 

Not long ago you’d been lucky enough to pack your bags and board a flight to Bogotá, where you were going to be writing your final sociology thesis. You’d fought tooth and nail with the department for this opportunity, and the fact that you were finally going to be there doing the work you’d always imagined– it was a dream. While you were initially a little weary of having to go through the American embassy to access records, and archives, you knew this was the best deal you were going to get, so you pushed your hesitation aside and took them up on their offer. You were obviously aware the department was going to give you hell for it– your work would be put under immeasurable scrutiny, they were going to bother you with emails all day every day, snoop around your work through their contacts at the embassy, and take any chance to fly you back. But it didn’t matter; it was going to be a dream. 

Impressing the ambassador was your top priority, impressing everyone around you really was. For as long as you could remember your bright smile, hard work and sunshine attitude had only worked in your favor. If there was one thing you enjoyed, it was the great privilege of being all your professors’ favorite student. That’s how you’d even convinced them to let you travel thousands of miles away on the university’s dime in the first place. 

The world of academia was hard, especially when you were starting out, everyone you dealt with wasn’t a progressive professor who valued your opinion despite your age and gender. Sometimes you needed help from the sleazy HOD, or the grumpy receptionist and neither cared about your expertise on Helmut Schoeck. It didn’t bother you, all you cared about was the quality of your work, and you were not going to let anyone get in the way of it. So, if good work and behaviour didn't get you what you wanted you just used your batting eyelashes, innocent pout and harmless bribes– the receptionist had mentioned liking strawberry shortcake nearly two years ago in passing, and that information sure as hell came in handy when you needed to get your paperwork sorted out. 

Boy did that skill of yours come in handy during your time in Bogotá

No one was going to make this experience anything but splendid, you were going to get to the embassy, meet the ambassador, charm her and all her coworkers in no time, make some trusted allies and go about your research unbothered and unfazed. You were determined. It was going to be a dream. 

That was until it was an absolute nightmare. The moment your plane’s wheels hit the tarmac you were slapped with wave after wave of absolute frustration. Your phone was inundated with missed calls from an unknown number, and when you called back you were promptly informed by the Ambassador’s secretary that due to spacing issues you were being relocated to the DEA offices at the far end of the embassy. 

Great, nothing better than being around a bunch of cops 24/7 .

You hadn’t made it three steps off the aerobridge before two men– both of whom looked terribly out of place in their baseball hats, grabbed you by the arm and dragged you through the airport. You wouldn’t say the word ‘accosted’ was dramatic when describing the way two employees of the American embassy had apprehended you. They didn't seem much older than you were, but they sure as hell thought they ran the damn place. When you thought about elitist diplomats thinking they were doing god's work you could be sure you imagined Agent Daniel Van Ness and Agent Chris Feistl’s faces before you’d even met them. 

“Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing?!” Van Ness pretty much tossed you into his suspicious, unmarked vehicle, and as if you weren’t sore from your excruciatingly long flight you were sure you were going to need some ice packs when you got to your service apartment. “Okay, let's not make a scene, as I said we were told to get you as soon as you got off that plane” Feistl started the engine with one hand, and put the other one up in mock surrender. 

“Didn’t know kidnapping was part of the Ambassador's agenda in Bogotá” .

The car ride to the embassy was mostly quiet, and you took the time to enjoy the beautiful Colombian city as it came into view, clear your head and mentally plan for your stay. That was, save for the two men’s grumbling about a certain Javier Peña. “Yeah, we miss this meeting and Peña’s gonna be on our ass for the next week” You’d quickly learnt he was a little bit of a hero in the DEA world, whatever that meant– took down Escobar and all. And if you couldn’t loathe him more already he was now promoted to attaché. From what Van Ness and Feistl told you  he sounded like a character– hard ass, stubborn, insolent, the list went on and on. This Javier must really be something

How bad could he really be? Probably some grumpy old guy you’d run into once in a while at the water station or fax machine. He’d pay no mind to you; some irrelevant college student. Besides, you’d win him over with your signature smile. Who knew maybe you’d even become friends? “Well Im looking forward to meeting this Javier Peña” 

 “No one has ever said that. I don't think his mother said that when he was poppin’ out.” 

And boy were they right, Javier Peña really was something. The elevator doors opened to what would soon become a familiar sight– Javier trailing the ambassador as she tried to escape him and the DEA offices. “With all due respect, if I wanted to be a babysitter I would've taken up a job with the RIPs”  She turned to face him, her back to you. “Agent Peña, I'm going to repeat myself one more time, and I really shouldn't have to, but please stop referring to them as the “RIP’’s ”. Talk about professionalism, you definitely weren’t expecting whatever the hell this was when you thought of diplomatic work. 

Noonan almost unceremoniously bumped into you as she skirted away from Javier, raising her hands in absolute elation now that he had to take care of you, and couldn’t bother her any longer. “There you are, perfect! Agent Peña show her around, and please, be nice.” She all but pushed you into him, and you heard Javier helplessly and pathetically yell after her as she walked to the elevator. “I still need that clearance ambassador–” 

Despite the fact that he was looking at you like he wanted to tear you apart you didn't let that distract from the absolute marvel Javier Peña was. If you didn’t know any better you’d be on your knees for the man, and you couldn’t trust that you did. With the way his hair sat messily ruffled atop his head in soft curls, falling dangerously close to his eyes, or the way his now crinkled button up from the tiring workday hugged his forearms, who could blame you? Who knew, maybe you even liked the way he looked at you? 

You shot him your signature smile, and extended your hand to introduce yourself. Forget about Noonan, she’d probably retire soon anyway, it was his approval you really wanted now. With brows raised he took his time assessing you. You didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over your body, or the way he chewed on his lip as he did so. Feeling a little, or maybe very, hot under his gaze you shifted uncomfortably, still holding your hand out politely, but all you got from him besides his shameless gawking was a condescending chuckle, and he was turning away and walking back inside. 

So he really was an asshole. 

You stood in shock for a moment. Was this some sort of odd hazing process at the embassy? What the hell was going on? His voice zapped you out of the absolute embarrassment of an interaction you just had. “You gonna stand there all day?” God he was such a prick. You’d barely been there two minutes and you were already on Van Ness and Feist's team. You couldn’t even imagine what life would be like if he was your boss. Or could you? 

Your gaze hardened at the realization. If there was one thing you were not going to do it was lust hopelessly after a man who didn't even want to give you the time of day, someone who thought he was so much better than you were. You were not going to inflate his already massive ego by crooning for his praise, no! You were not going to let him wield that kind of power over you. 

You watched as he walked through the office, the man sucked the air outta the room with the way he quite literally strutted across it. Practically dragging yourself behind him you tried your best to compose yourself, you were not going to let Peña and his asshole ways ruin your stay– he was going to like you, going to give you the time of day– and if hard work and a good attitude didn’t do it, your batting lashes certainly would.  

—

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh, yeah

In the subsequent days you surprisingly had made yourself quite at home in the embassy– after all you did spend almost all of your day there. Van Ness and Fiestl soon became great friends, and would often drop by your workstation during breaks, or to invite you out for drinks after work. Things were going rather well, there was nothing much to complain about. The people who worked at the embassy were really friendly, and many of them took a liking to you. If charming your way into everyone's good graces was still your plan it sure as hell was working. 

You’d even met a certain blonde haired, blue eyed office heartthrob. While they were both certainly easy on the eyes, Agent Murphy was otherwise little like his partner, he was friendly, helpful, and generally in a good mood. Hell he even wished you ‘good morning’ when he got into work everyday. In due time you could even say Steve Murphy had become somewhat of a friend, he was quite fond of you– then again everyone in the office really was. 

That is almost everyone. 

Progress in the Javier department of your life had barely made moves. He was such a dick. On your second day you remember knocking on his door and politely asking if he could sign some papers that would get you some cultural records in Bogotá. You didn’t know what response you’d been expecting, but he'd essentially told you to leave him the hell alone.  

You wondered if being such a bitter jerk was exhausting. “Now girlie, runalong..” And with that he shut his door. You didn't want to let it affect you, but it did. You crooned for his attention, but he was so cold and detached, and nothing seemed to get through to him. The smiles, the ‘good mornings’, the way you’d offered to drop his files at the Ambassador's on your way there, it did nothing. He only smiled at you condescendingly, and at one point even joked about how he wasn’t sure you were capable of making it to the other side of the building. 

“Don't worry your head about these files, wouldn’t want you wandering around, lost, tryna find Noonan’s office.” 

Not to mention how he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about your “silly little paper”, how your work was “cute” or “funny”. God, you couldn’t stand it. The way he leaned over your desk, jumbled up your resources while he carelessly looked through them. With his messy, loose tie, and his sideways smile, and warm, comforting brown eyes, and that mocking teasing tone…... 

—- 

My old man is a tough man, but

He got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam

And he shows me, he knows me

Every inch of my tar-black soul

“If he can’t drink it, or fuck it, he’s not interested.” When Feistl had told you that on your first day you scoffed, but it proved to be valuable, and unbelievably, true information in no time. Unintentionally Javier had condemned himself to an eternal state of perdition, you were not giving up, and this time you were going to drive him crazy. 

He surely wasn’t prepared for the little menace you became in the following weeks. You only felt pride when you’d catch him looking at you– embarrassing how he couldn't keep his eyes off. You and your cute little dresses, skirts, those you didn’t initially plan to wear to the office. His glare almost burnt a hole in your back everyday at midday, hotter than the afternoon sun peaking through the blind covered windows as you sat on Van Ness’ desk, laughing at something Feistl said. If there was one thing worse than an HR violation, it was an HR violation with a girl nearly half his age.

You’d found a fancy for discovering his ticks, new ways you could push his buttons. When you weren’t calling him sir as you addressed him, or taunting him with your dopey eyes and girlish smiles you were making his life a lot less convenient. 

“Where the hell is Peña” at least twice a week Stechner would all but slither into the office, talking about congress people, funding and how the DEA was raining all over his parade. As much as you hated the man, he was your trusted ally in trying times, especially when you decided breaking the office’s unspoken rule was going to be your new favorite pastime. That rule was of course, never telling anyone, especially his colleagues, where the hell Javier Peña was at any given time. 

So when Bill walked up to you and leaned beside your desk you faithfully pointed to the filing room you knew Javier was quite literally hiding in. When he walked, more like stormed out with Bill you were sure he could break you in half, the way he was looking at you, but you had given up lying to yourself, you loved it. Every morning he’d come into the office and have to find other places to escape to– from Noonan and Murphy and all other accountability. But for a cop he was pretty shit at it, and you always found a way to tell where it was he'd gone to. It also helped that nearly everyone enjoyed it when Javier had to deal with the bureaucracy, it was free reality tv, and you could be sure if you didn’t know who or what he was trying to avoid, someone else in the office surely would.

You had simultaneously become a great asset to Steve Murphy, who was, more than you expected, willing and enthusiastic about getting shit done, shit that Javier’s stubbornness would only prolong, especially because he knew the mix of Peña and the CIA was anything but productive. Whether it was distracting him while he got support for their missions, or rushing to answer the phones and covering for him and making Javi deal with Noonan you were always game. Murphy was always appreciative. 

“Steve’s out right now, but Javier’s in his office if you’d like to speak with him…” Steve pretty much cackled behind his desk as you handed the phone’s receiver to Peña, and watched as he exhaled heavily through his nose, using every bit of restraint he could possibly muster not to kick the two of you out of the building. He settled for flipping Murphy off instead. 

As someone who wasn’t an embassy employee you pretty much had free reign over the place, and you knew it only made Javier more upset knowing he couldn’t do anything about it. You were thoroughly enjoying your time in Bogotá, you knew Javier was thinking about you, you knew how much you got on his nerves, you loved the way he’d glare at you, boss you around, get annoyed at your little antics. You craved his attention and you were finally getting it. 

Though every once in a while you’d feel a little pang in your chest, at the way he’d roll his eyes at you, be his regular mean self. But you shoved that feeling aside, you did not want his approval. That would be pathetic. You just wanted a little payback.

—

He doesn't mind I have a flat broke-down life

In fact, he says he thinks it's what he might like about me

Admires me, the way I roll like a rolling stone

Javier had been avoiding you like the plague for a good two days. That was after he overheard a conversation you were having with your supervisor he wasn’t really meant to be a party to. You remember twirling the cord wire between your fingers as you updated her over the phone. “Yeah, I need to get to the congress library, they have all the copies there.” You pushed the speaker button, letting go of the receiver to sift through the piles of printed paper on your desk. “Do you have access, did the embassy get you an ID? I spoke to Noonan but she’s busy babysitting her employees.” You bit back a smile. Javier and Murphy sure were a handful. 

“No, of course they didn’t. They don’t give a rat's ass” Frankly, you were exhausted from having to get or find somebody to do anything around there. Noonan was practically no help until the dean was breathing down her neck, for people who had been working in Bogotà for years very few in the embassy knew the directions to anyplace that wasn’t a bar, and everyone was far too busy kissing each other’s ass to get things done. “The DEA can go, can't they? Get one of em to take you” Before you could respond you heard the rattling of the water cooler behind you, and you caught Javier’s half shocked half annoyed expression in the reflection of the window as he scrambled for a paper napkin to wipe the water off his dress shirt.  

“Hmm, I didn’t think of that…..that's a great idea” 

That was on Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday were spent turning in the opposite direction anytime you approached him, sneaking past you on his way in and out, and begging Murphy to take that trip to the Congress library instead. On Thursday you were sure you won the lottery. 

Both Murphy and Carillo in the same room, and better yet in the office before Javier had made his grand entrance. They stood over what looked to you like a large map, arguing about something with far too much energy at eight in the morning. You saw this as your little opening. Where the hell was Peña? 

Turns out he was with the Ambassador.  

—-

Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Château Marmont

Slippin' on my red dress, puttin' on my makeup

Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes

Says it feels like heaven to him

“And you’re going too?” Ambassador Noonan sat back in her chair, twirling her pencil between her fingers, looking expectantly at the irate face in front of her. You thought you’d spare Agent Peña his white lies, answering promptly in that sweet voice of yours.  “Yes, Agent Murphy told me, and besides, if he's around I can access all the archives..” You shrugged your shoulders and shot her your most persuasive smile. “Government ID an’ all” . You almost felt bad for Peña, the way his friends were so quick to rat him out. But then again he’d stirred up enough petty fights over the years so that nearly everybody was quick to get their petty revenge. That jerk was planning to take his little trip to the library– with Carillio of all people, and he was going to leave you behind? Not anymore.

“Well, I don't see the problem, just take her to the goddamn library. Jesus Peña why is everything so difficult with you.” Javier shot you a glare you could only describe as deadly, but you could only giggle at his exasperation. He rose from his chair, leaning on her desk, like he was trying to seduce her into getting out of this situation. You wondered how Noonan showed so much restraint, if you were her you’d be giving into anything he said no questions asked. 

“Ambassador, really, all that is below my paygrade, don't ya think?” Your mouth fell agape, and you turned to him to find he was smiling, looking directly at you. Asshole  “This whole conversation is below my paygrade. You’re bothering me Peña, get to work..” and with that the two of you were practically kicked out of her office and thrown into the hall,  where in the deafening silence you heard the large wooden doors slam behind you. 

You were lucky there was no one else around, especially when he practically slammed you against the wall. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Tryna fuck my whole day over baby?” You had to physically fight yourself to not give into the death grip he had on your shoulders, to hold yourself up as he caged you against the corridor.  “I just really need these papers, and only you can get ‘em for me ” You bat your lashes at him, and he pressed his forehead against the wall beside you in complete frustration, sighing. He knew that wasn’t true, and he knew you did as well. Any intern could have gotten them for you, but who was an intern in comparison to him? 

“I won't bother you again, promise” you bit your lip and held your pinkie finger up in what Javier saw as practically an act of war. His hands moved from your shoulders to grab you by the waist as you looked up at him. Despite your smiley exterior you were all giddy on the inside, especially when he leant beside your ear and warned in his low whisper, thumbs drawing circles on your flesh. 

“You're playin’ with fire baby..” 

— 

I'm off to the races, laces

Leather on my waist is tight, and I am fallin' down

I can see your face, is shameless, Cipriani's Basement

Love you, but I'm goin' down

As much as you wanted to bother Javier during his little snoop session with Carillo, you still had a job to do, so you shoved your brattiness aside for a few hours and got to work finding the documents you needed from the archives. You were honestly expecting a medal for your self restraint, because once you were done you waited patiently till he strutted outside after his meeting, barely holding up the heavy box with all your findings. You’d been standing there for almost two hours, and the jerk hadn’t even given you a heads up so you could sit inside.

“Finally.” He rolled his eyes, and like he was running some sort of marathon didn’t bother even helping you, speed walking across the parking lot as you stumbled and struggled behind him– attempting to keep up. 

“We gotta get back, now.” 

You buckled your seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway, and relaxed against your seat as you caught your breath. “Where’re we going?” He turned to you and smiled, but it was in that signature condescending way that he always did. Meanie You thought to yourself. “We are not going anywhere. You are going back to the office, and I am going to take care of something you don't need to worry about.” You didn't know whether there was any use still being offended by his patronizing attitude, he could’ve just said you were going back to the office, but that was too normal, too dignified of a response for the great, cartel busting Javier Peña 

“I could come.” He laughed at your pout, as he turned to look at you, rounding the corner. “Baby, don’t ya’ think that's a little ambitious comin’ from someone who got winded carrying a box across a parking lot.” You scoffed, yes, it would've been nice to have some help. “Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to do with whatever it is you're going to do, anyway” Wanting to turn away from him you looked out the window, but that only lasted so long. 

“If this lead comes through, everyone in Bogotà’s gonna want everything to do with it.” You watched as the setting sun drenched your surroundings in a golden glow, and you couldn’t look away from the way Javier’s brown eyes too turned into pools of gold as the sun caught them. His voice a low hum just a little louder than the radio he habitually played as he drove around. It took a special type of maniac to go on missions off the clock. 

“Who’s it for, the lead?” He hummed, and smiled to himself as he spoke, that look on his face you couldn’t quite place– like he was just waiting for his opponent to slip up.  “One of the big guys. You should meet him when we bring him in– you’d get along–  he's a pain in my ass” 

You turned your gaze from the opening embassy gates to meet his eyes, your own narrowed into slits as you stared him down– he was smiling, and you hated it. “Mean.” He shook his head at your irritation, and wordlessly pulled up into the driveway. “Now, you're gonna take those files, and you're gonna sit your bratty ass down, and you're gonna work on that silly paper of yours” You were halfway out the door, lifting the giant cardboard box off the floor of the car with embarrassing difficulty.

Great, there was another thing he could berate you for. 

“That's a lot of instructions..” Your voice was muffled behind your paperwork, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it when he tried to boss you around. 

“Well here's another– don't touch anything while I'm gone.” He laughed to himself as he caught your rolling eyes peering at him over the top of the box, that being the only part of you that was really visible to him. Waiting for you to make it to the entrance he watched as one of his colleagues, one of the many heading out for the day, took it from you, and helped you inside. 

The low hum of the radio replaced the sound of your voice, an old spanish tune coming over the static as he drove out and away from the embassy. 

—

God, I'm so crazy, baby

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

“Didn't I specifically tell you not to touch anything” You lifted your head in the direction of that familiar voice, irritated as usual, but also a little more gruff, a little more tired. For a moment you regretted annexing his office while he was away. You watched as he sauntered in and towards his desk, opposite the little workstation you’d set up on a spare table where he’d dumped his tie and blazer for when the Ambassador popped around. He propped his hands on his desk, leaning against it to meet your gaze. 

God did he look good, the day had taken its toll on him, but it was only doing him favors. That soft brown hair had been ruffled out of place, and that crisp button up sat wrinkled on his back, loosely and messily tucked into his navy dress pants, sleeves haphazardly rolled up his forearms. While he looked like he worked a regular nine to five, from the little you knew about his job, an intentionally minimal amount, you were sure the unkemptness was the result of some high stakes chase, raid or whatever it was he’d set his head to doing that day.  

“‘M not touching, I just needed the AC” He rolled his eyes, but his neatly hung blazer and rolled up tie caught his attention from across the room. “See.. Untouched” You shot him that smile that you knew drove him up the wall, and he shook his head, now concerned more with sorting the paperwork splayed out in front of him. “Must be real hard, highlightin’ all that paper” He pointed to your reference material. As bad as the day was, it wasn't bad enough to persuade him to stop being a jerk.  

The place was a mess, and he couldn’t leave it this way till the morning, that would be a hit to his professionalism far worse than any of the shady shit he’d done over the years. He didn’t have time for your childish antics. At least for the moment. It’d been a long day and he wanted nothing more than to get it over with. Boy did he look like he needed to let off some steam, and while at first glance your actions were doing anything but helping him relax, couldn’t he see you were just begging for him to use you for exactly that? 

Maybe it was because he was tired of your shit, or because he was far too preoccupied with his work at the time, or because the office was dark and quiet and cold, but the next few minutes passed in uncharacteristic silence. You gazed up once in a while to see Javier’s scrunched brows sort through an abundance of filing. He’d sigh heavily every once in a while, and you could only wonder what or who, besides you, got on his nerves that much. You were almost eager to eliminate the competition. The world drowned out in the white noise of shuffling documents and clicking pens and you were once again lost in your paper. 

Every part of you really wished he wasn’t such an asshole. What had you ever done to him anyway, for him to be so cold and mean? You couldn’t pretend you had nothing to do with it, you'd egged him on beyond measure, but you’d only ever wanted him to like you. Okay maybe you thoroughly enjoyed his irritation, but you only really ever wanted his attention. Pathetic.. You thought to yourself. You pretended he wasn’t bothered by you taking over his office for a moment.

“Done yet?” You hadn’t even realized how or when Javier had crossed the room and made his way in front of you. His fingers danced on the edge of your laptop screen. You didn’t feel like answering just yet, so you typed away at your keyboard for a while longer. The silence wasn’t appreciated, and you could feel the exhaustion radiate off him like heat. You caught him fiddling with the pens on your desk, and skimming over some of your printed material from the corner of your eye, and you bit your lip to stifle your laughter when he chucked it back on your desk in what you assumed was complete disinterest. He was going to try harder to get your attention. 

You weren't prepared however when he practically slammed your laptop shut, forcing you to stop ignoring him. Talk about disrupting the workplace. Groaning, you rested your chin in your palms and peered up at him through dopey eyes. A man who had been driven to the edge, that's the gaze you met. It was not going to affect you, that muted rage, that wrought iron glare. You promised yourself. But your desires were already betraying you.. you rubbed your thighs together to alleviate the ache. 

“There a problem?” With a tone that set his last teeth on edge you kept up the facade, against your better judgment. It was just too much fun not to. When you looked up at him through your lashes you could almost see the slight tick in his jaw, and your mind wandered to what other ways you’d like this type of view. “Yes, in fact there is. It's 1am” He leaned forward, dangerously close, to the point you could feel the warmth of his breath fan against your lips, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. You caught the faint smell of cigarettes off his disheveled clothes, the scent of whiskey on his lips. You felt your breath hitch, but you hoped he didn't notice. How naive, that was. 

“And” Your eyes darted to his mouth momentarily as you spoke, voice wavering. He raised his brows, almost to tell you not to push him any further than you already did. It was too late, however. Whatever this was had spiraled far out of your control, and he could see the way you squirmed under that commanding gaze of his. Your brain was screaming at the attention, and you had to inwardly yell at yourself to stop being so needy. 

“And?” Your brows furrowed, your lips forming that signature pout when you heard him mock your tone, your voice.  “I've had a long day, baby, and I wanna go home” You huffed girlishly at his ridicule, the way he liked to humiliate you by throwing your attitude back in your face with his snide imitations, his raised brow and faux sympathy. He talked like one does to a misbehaving child. In that patronizing, explanatory melody. You watched him chuckle with slitted eyes, though you were slowly turning to a puddle underneath it all.

“Go home then Mr. Peña. I'm not stopping you am I?” You watched his eyes darken, and you weren't even sure that was possible, but you didn’t have much time to think because before you knew it he was pinching your cheeks between his fingers, his other hand still holding him up on the table. You could only whine under his rough touch as its effects licked between your thighs. He laughed when you mewed at the sting. 

“Oh but you are. You're just beggin’ me to stay, aren't ya’ baby?” Your soft and pathetically unconvincing ‘no’ was muffled as he squeezed your cheeks in his large hands, yanking you in his direction as you fruitlessly attempted to free yourself from his grip. Unable to help yourself you were almost crooning into his touch, your body basically begging him to rough you up. “Such a fuckin’ brat. Runnin’ your mouth all day, showin’ up in those clothes, fuckin up my schedule, acting like a whore” His soft whisper made you shiver, your skin now on fire. He spoke slowly, and every syllable made you want to drop at his feet with a vigor you could only be embarrassed of. He made you feel small, made you feel helpless under his touch. 

You wanted to push back, wanted to defy his accusations.“‘m not a whore” He smiled at your whining, and if you were delusional, and you were, even hopeful,  you’d say he did so endearingly. But Javier Peña didn’t care about endearments, and after the way you’d acted you’d be crazy to think he thought there was anything endearing about you. “Right baby. You're not. Gotta pay girls to act this way ‘round me. But look at you. Didn’t spare you a fuckin dime.” 

He had let go of your face, and had in a moment, quickly and uncaringly dumped you on the table in front of him. You let out a soft “ow” when you felt your knees bump the wood before your legs were dangling off its edge. You were far closer to him now, and if you had felt small before you thought you were only shrinking in comparison to his domineering frame– physical, mental, everything. Your brain was mush, your body was mush, and you could only lean into his touch– benevolent or not. 

In an uncharacteristically gentle gesture he patted your cheeks with the palm of his hand, lightly, as if to soothe the sore flesh, but it only made the way he pulled them mockingly far more jarring. “Know what that makes you babygirl?” He paused for a moment, knowing you couldn't answer, looking down at the way your eyes were now welling with tears at the pain, and reveling in the sight. 

“Makes you a little slut” 

You wanted to respond, wanted to defend yourself, but you could only settle for grabbing his dress shirt in the balls of your first. The fabric of your panties had pretty much soaked through, and you felt it cling to you uncomfortably as you shifted on the table to pull him closer. Practically begging for his touch. 

He let go of your face, but he didn’t plan on being any more gentle. He knew there was nothing you could do, nothing you could say at that moment, and he took full advantage of your silence– telling you everything he’d wanted to scream in your face for the past month. It was even better now however, because as a fun bonus, for his superhuman self control, you were even pleading for him to do so. He could see it in your eyes, feel it on your hot skin, the way you subtly rolled your hips against the table to ease the pang between your thighs. He reduced you to a dumb, empty headed bimbo, with his words alone. He couldn't help but rub it in a little. “Aw baby, no words for me? Where’s that snappy mouth now?” That faux sympathy was back again

His hands rubbed up and down your sides, moving to toy with the buttons of your top as he spoke. Fiddling with them he popped the first few open, enough to expose the swell of your breasts to the cool of the air conditioned office. With lust blown eyes he trailed his thumbs along your collar bones and then down to your admittedly skimpy lingerie– you gasped when he yanked it down, practically tearing if in a swift motion. He admired you for a moment, held you in place when you squirmed against him, wrapped your legs around his waist. 

You shifted on the desk, leaning your face against his torso, looking up at him,  pleading with your eyes. “Like you better like this, clothes half off like a desperate slut that couldn’t even wait to get undressed.” He paused, still admiring, tracing your cheekbones with his thumbs. “Oh, and fucking quiet”  he flipped you on your stomach, your legs dangling of the table when you writhed under his punishing grip– pushing your face down against the wood, bending you over it. “Whaddya think baby?” 

As if he had enough of just looking you felt him flip your skirt up with his vacant hand, and yelped when his palm came down harshly on the flesh of your ass, the sting only egging on your tears of desperation. “You know what I think baby? Think I needa fuck some manners into you.” He smoothed his hands up and down your warm thighs, fingers finding the soaked fabric of your panties as you moaned and sighed above him. He knew what he did to you and he loved it. “Can pretend there's anything in that head of yours besides the thought of goin’ dumb for me”

You lifted your head to look up and behind you, you’d give anything to witness the sight you’d touched yourself to for the past month, but Javier was quick to slam you head back back to where it came from, and send your eyes rolling back into your head as he shoved your soaked panties aside and roughly pushed two fingers into your sopping cunt. "Fuck, look at this tight little pussy, can barley take my fingers." He groaned in your ear, leaning up against you as his digits fucked you at an agonisingly slow pace, just barely soothing the burn of desire building in your core. “Bad girls don’t get a view.” Light headed, you could only squeal, could only hide your face from him as he leaned over to catch a glimpse of your knitted brows and that pout. 

"Y'know how messy y'are baby? Feel how this pussys cryin' for me, drippin' all over my hand?"

You kicked your legs in protest, salty tears streaming down your face and pooling at its side on the wood beneath you. He wasn’t happy when he found you pushing back against his fingers, grinding helplessly on them. For a moment you thought your wish was granted, but he was only yanking you off the desk so you could have your back flush against him, and he could get his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. Still languidly pumping his fingers in and out of your soaking pussy he turned your face to meet his, and sneered as his palm collided with the side of your cheek. 

Smack 

“Watch it” You wanted to be a brat, wanted to defy him, but it was all too much to handle at once. You felt fuzzy all over, and who were you kidding you were always going dumb for him. Besides, how could you even keep your mind steady, not when you felt his hard length against you. You gazed right up at him, pushed back against him, eyes rolling back into your head as you did. He only laughed. “Oh baby, think it's gonna be that easy? Think ‘m gonna let you cum jus’ like that? After you've run me up the wall?” He squeezed your breast in his palm, bending you back over the table, now more gently, extending the olive branch, giving you a chance to repent. “‘M not a needy slut like you baby, those little tricks ain't’ gonna work” Javier was an asshole, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting to ruin you. But first he wanted to have a little fun. 

“Please, please, promise I'll be good.” He hummed, pretending like he was debating whether he was going to give into your pleas yet. He wasn't. He wanted to soak in the sight– you splayed out on his desk, begging him to fuck you sensless, his hands roaming your body torturously teasing you as your pussy clenched around nothing, dripping for him. 

“So now ya wanna be good? Well baby I'm not buyin it yet. Gonna take a lot more convincing than that.” His fingers found your clothed cunt once again, drawing soft circles on your clit. You wailed, knuckles going white when you gripped the table edge in front of you. "Feels good doesnt' it babygirl, I know, feels so good when you finally fucking listen." You pushed back against his fingers, practically humping his hand. The tears were back, and he loved them. “Aw, poor baby, too much?” He wasn’t asking, and you knew he didn’t care what you had to say anyway. He wanted one response, and you were far too wound up not to give it to him. 

“Please please please. Won't be a brat, wanna be your good girl.” He kept you waiting and distraught, fingers still rubbing you through your panties as he spoke, knowing very well you could barely concentrate when he touched you, the squelching of your wetness only drove you towards the edge. “Now babygirl, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna listen good, and do exactly what I say. Ya hear?” You nodded your head vigorously, but a smack to your ass reminded you to use your words. “Yes. promise” He laughed. “Such an easy little slut.” You heard the jingle of his belt behind you. 

You shivered when you felt his cock drag against your drenched cunt, tip bumping your clit with every pass as he wet himself with your slick. Your hips moved frantically, unable to get enough of the friction, but he held you back just enough, to where you would remain unsatisfied and frustrated.“Say" I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry for being a tease.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and the command alone was enough to send you over the edge. 

“‘m sorry for being a tease daddy ” 

“Say “I'm Sorry for being an easy whore”” 

“M’ sorry for being an easy whore” You’d never been more shy in your life, forget around Javier, who could never guess you had it in you. “That’s my good little slut.” But the way he was speaking to you, teasing, mocking, telling you what to do, what to say– you were hot all over with humiliation. You hid your face, pretty much smashing your forehead against the table, making sure no matter how far he lent he couldn't see the way you were coming undone under him. 

He could probably sense it, though, especially by the way you reacted to his little praise. “That's it babygirl. Comin around now are we?” You didn't want him to have that on you, but you were lucky, in a way, because he didn’t care much to tease you anymore. He grabbed your hips harshly and with a rough thrust of his hips he was fucking you into the mahogany desk, your ribs bruising as he held you down against it. He wasn’t wasting any time, wasn’t stopping or going slow to let you adjust, he was reminding you of how tightly you’d wound him up.“So fuckin tight” his voice was a strained whisper behind you, and you made a noise you could barely recognise as your own at his words. “Hurts” you were whining again,this time at the sting,  and you knew he didn’t care but you couldn’t help yourself. “Yeah baby hurts when daddy stuffs you full of his cock? My poor thing.. But you like it don't you babygirl? Like it when I stretch you open” he wasn’t wrong. The feeling of him splitting you open had turned you into a puddle, a moaning mess. “”S too big” his hands smoothed up and down your back erratically.  “I know baby, I know, but you’re gonna take it aren’t you? Gonna take it how I give it to you dirty little girl?” You were, you took it how he gave it to you. “Gonna ruin this pretty lil pussy” He squeezed the flesh of your hips till you squeaked, the pain only adding to the pleasure as his hips smacked against yours. 

You felt your legs shake as his cock pounded your aching pussy. “Jus’ needed daddy to fuck all that brattiness outta ya huh?” You nodded your head and he cooed at the way you melted into his touch. “Oh baby, that’s it, just like that.” Gazing up with hooded eyes you caught his reflection in the glass of his office window, half illuminated by the dim lighting– his own face scrunched up with pleasure. The sight only had you fucking back against him. You felt like jello, your heart pitter pattering at his little praise. 

“My good little slut” 

Wrapping his arm around you he grabbed your face roughly again, dragging you up and against his chest again. 

“My slut, hear me?” 

Yours, yours, yours 

Your brain was a fog, and the only thing you could focus on was the way his cock was hitting that sweet spot inside you, making you clench around him as that burn built in your core– a string of incoherent “daddy’s” being the only thing you could manage to get out your mouth.  “My dumb fuckin baby, my whore, squeezin’ my cock”. You repeated like a broken record; “daddy’s, daddy’s daddy’s”, the feeling of your slick running down your thighs making you go dizzy. 

“Look at you, daddy’s little cumdump” your cheeks were burning, your eyes barley staying open. He pulled your face up from the desk. “Can barely look straight huh baby? Gettin all cock drunk on me.” You made out his dark eyes in the reflection. But you couldn’t bear to meet them. It didn’t matter. He was always looking at you.

“Only for you daddy”

Your release was building, like an inextinguishable fire, your pussy throbbing with need, just begging for it, and he knew it too, the way your walls quivered around him, the way you were moaning and panting, whispering soft calls of “daddy” when he held you against him. “Gonna cum babygirl? Gonna cum on my cock, bent over my desk? When ’m usin’ ya like a fuckin toy?” 

Your body went lax in his arms as you came, your lips parting in a wordless cry, eyes fluttering shut. “That's it… cum for me”. You cherished that almost gentle encouragement as you came undone, tummy swarming with butterflies as you shook in his arms. He was still fucking into your sensitive pussy, pushing you further into the desk as he neared his release. You heard a strained curse behind you, before he was fucking you full of his cum in deep, hard thrusts, your legs dangled off the table as you milked his cock. Shivering at the feeling you closed your eyes, his spend leaked out of your sore pussy when he pulled out, dripping down your inner thighs obscenely. You heard his belt jingle again as he caught his breath behind you, and you felt silly for the way you missed his warmth when it was replaced by the chilled office air. He quickly shifted your panties back in place, making sure you stayed stuffed full of his cum. You winced when he smacked your pussy lightly. Raising your head you caught his reflection again, but you hid your face back against the desk almost immediately when you saw the way he admired his work in the reflection, like he could see the way he’d fucked the brattiness out of you. 

With closed eyes you hummed as he turned you over and sat you on the desk. Now that you’d finally got Javier’s attention you were satisfied– all sleepy and fucked out. You wished he’d hold you, but you had to remind yourself fucking you hadn’t taken the asshole out of him. He was still Javier. Hardass DEA attaché Javier. You sat there for a while, and when you opened your eyes you saw him picking up his blazer and briefcase. 

“If you're not up in 10 seconds I'm leavin’ ya here.” He was back to usual in a moment, and in your fuzzy little head you heard a well meaningness in that tone. “In those messy panties.” You pouted at his words, once again, and he watched as you hopped off the table, rubbing your eyes as you gathered your things, albeit clumsily–your knees wobbly to the point where you could see Javier’s smirk behind you as you shoved your laptop into your bag. 

Turning off the table lamp he motioned with his head for you to get moving along, and you rolled your eyes at him as you walked out the door, stumbling slightly as you did. He gave you what you now recognised as that look, brows raised, and you didn’t have the energy at the moment to be combative. 

Maybe you didn’t want to be. 

“Come on now, runalong”

—

My old man is a thief, and

I'm gonna stay and pray with him 'til the end

But I trust in the decision of the Lord, to watch over us

Take him when He may, if He may

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

They would rue the day I was alone, without you

You're lyin' with your gold chain on

Cigar hangin' from your lips, I said, "Hon'"

"You never looked so beautiful as you do now, my man"

And we're off to the races, places

Ready, set, the gate is down and now we're goin' in

To Las Vegas, chaos, Casino Oasis

Honey, it is time to spin

Boy, you're so crazy, baby

I love you forever, not maybe

You are my one true love

You are my one true love

You are my one true love

Let me know what you think please!! I’d love to hear your nasty thots. I really hope you lovelies liked it. Thank you to everyone who reblogs my work. You keep me writing! Dividers and banners by @ saradika 💗💗🐝🐝

[bunicate]

YES!!! u n me r on da same wavelength…. n e ways i have my thoughts ready now :3 it’s been so very long since i’ve written anyting but i hope it’s good…!

when word got out that you, the youngest child of the ragnvindr family, planned to move away from the dawn winery and into the city of mondstadt, most people expected diluc to shut that down completely. and yet, he gives it his approval. “it would be good for you to broaden your experiences,” he tells you.

(he doesn’t tell you that every day, it becomes more tempting to throw away his morals and breed his lil sister like how he wants to…!)

so you move out of your home, and into a cute little apartment. you decorate it all pretty, tying ribbons wherever you can and covering your furniture in frills and lace. it’s lotsa fun living by yourself, even if it means you gotta do everything for yourself too… but you’re a big girl, so you can kind of probably maybe handle it!

meanwhile, diluc tells himself that he’ll leave you be… but he can’t help but to watch over you while he’s out doing his darknight hero duties! you don’t even realize how dangerous the world is, just traipsing around as if there aren’t a million people who’d happily try to rob the baby of the ragnvindr clan… it’s your big brother’s job to make sure you’re safe!!

you do eventually meet the darknight hero, and diluc does his very best to treat you like any other citizen, but he can’t be stoic n distant around his little sister :( he was just trying to make you smile by showing you what mondstadt was like from the rooftops, he really didn’t mean to end up on the roof of the kof headquarters with his head buried between your thighs…! it just kinda happened, you know?

at first, the darknight hero says that it’s a one-time thing. diluc isn’t ready to taint his sweet little sister and damn himself… but he comes back the next night, grinding you against his thigh until you cum all over his pants. then he’s telling you that it won’t go any further than him making you feel good - but that doesn’t last long, and he has you on your knees a few nights later with his cock in your mouth. that’s as far as he’ll go, the darknight hero says, before he slips up once more and finds himself fucking your thighs n cumming all over your cute tits.

diluc tells himself that he needs to stop, that it’s sick of him to essentially trick his little sister into sleeping with her big bro.. but then again, it’s okay as long as he doesn’t go any further, right? as long as he doesn’t actually take your virginity, then it’s fine… he can keep on seeing you as the darknight hero, you’ll be safe and happy, and diluc won’t completely lose his mind longing for you.

(spoiler alert: he goes further :3)

um um yeah! it’s a lil messy but i had so many thoughts n i didn’t wanna leave any of them out bc what if they get lonely :( in other news!!!! i got a manicure n a super DUPER kyute set of nails and i finally bought mi first binder!!

- sweet prince

[astarionancuntnin]

Dancing on the Edge of a Knife

summary: ever since his ascension, Malva was convinced that Astarion was the only person who could understand her every twisted desire. well, almost. there are some things she still keeps to herself, he simply wouldn't understand this part of her, the one who dances on the very edge of her knife.

or Ascended Astarion learns how real punishments work

rating: E

word count: 2.8k

pairing: ascended astarion x consort malva (oc, evil!sorcerer!tav)

cw: 18+. KNIFE PLAY (big warning cause the whole fic will turn around this specific one), smut, post-game setting a few years later, mention of violence/murder, mentions of and actual self-harm, slight voyeurism, shared sensations, blood play, bdsm relationship (Master/Pet, punishment), teasing, overstimulation, orgasm denial. full list on ao3

a/n: i just dont pick where the inspo comes from but malva lives rent free in my head

a/n2: decided to make the stories about malva and astarion into a series, they can be read independently but if you wanna read the first one featuring lotsa spanking, here it is (they also get to cum in that one)

a/n³: song inspo is PRETTY PLEASE by dutch melrose

read on ao3

my masterlist

or keep reading down below~

It was just another day of bloody business for Malva and her Master. 

Another party used as distraction; another life to take; another bloodshed.

Another reason to dive her pretty blade into the chest of yet another unfortunate soul.

She remembers back when Orin had mentioned her potential to join the ranks of the bhaalists, and of course, she would’ve; Malva’s talent to murder people came as naturally to her as her powers had, but the mere idea of being attached to any godly entity made Malva retch.

And Bhaal out of all of them? The same one who sent his minions to do his dirty work? Really, what was the point in becoming a God if you didn’t use that power for yourself?

No, Malva acted sinfully within her own code based on her own goals; no Gods or voices guiding her blade, only her inner bloodthirst and the knowledge that she was mightier than any other mortal crossing her path. Compared to other species, she was already considered immortal, but now, as a vampire? A spawn of the Vampire Ascendant, out of all of them? She might be even greater than the Gods themselves.

Even then, killing was just a job, something that needed to be done nevertheless, and knowing how much she had to do, she just decided to take pleasure in it. After all, the line between pleasure and pain had been blurry ever since Malva could remember, even at a young age.

Ever since her mentor had shown her how to master her powers.

“You will need to use your powers for the greater good,” he had said. “They come with responsibilities. Wield them to perfection so they serve you on every occasion. Those powers are a part of you.”

Obviously, she remembers thinking, they're what makes me better than the others.

“But you need to know that, as much good they can do, they can also harm, and to fully understand this, you'll need to feel them yourself.” 

She recalls how he had grabbed her arm and inflicted a benign version of a lighting spell on her, just to show her how it would feel to receive it — the impact of it, even on a smaller scale.

“Now, every time you inflict this pain on someone, you'll carry the weight of it as if you felt it yourself.”

He couldn't have been as right and wrong at the same time.

Yes — the spark lighting up her skin had burned, and she had flinched and pulled her arm back the second the shock hit her. 

But what a delectable sensation it had been.

How the burn had tingled and resonated through her entire body, lingering long after, introducing her to a new world of possibilities, one she hadn't even considered.

She had spent the rest of her life chasing that feeling.

Using her powers on herself as she was still learning them, gradually increasing the intensity as she became numb to the minor pain to still feel the hurt but relishing the burn of the wound, that sweet tingle rippling on her skin.

Venturing into taverns as she grew older, looking for easy strangers with whom to spend the night to easily discard them once morning came, until one night led to her first kill, and instead of fear she had felt a thrill. The same one as her self-inflicted burns.

Picking up dangerous bounties only to use her powers on others without holding back, see the light leave their eyes as she felt the blood from her own wounds drip from her body, smearing her pale skin.

A knife held at her throat, her life hanging by a thread — the burn of the blade penetrating her skin even better than any cock could ever feel.

The rush of heightened pleasure that clouded her mind for those brief moments was better than any sketchy potion on the market, and yet, the conclusion always turned out the same.

This rush was short-lived. 

Every kill was done with the next one already in mind.

Pain was her pleasure, and no one had understood that about her in the past. She even led herself to believe that Astarion didn't understand how far her limits went. Believing he couldn't satisfy all of her needs — and he would go far; spank her hard, choke her, bite her — all things she adored, but there was still something… missing. 

Something she would just need to take care of by herself.

So that night, a night that felt as meaningless as the others — or that should’ve been — she let her mind wander after disposing of this nuisance of a man. With her spirit  clouded with lust from the blood now warming her veins, she eyed her dagger in her hand with a different intention.

Her dark, yet see-through long dress didn’t allow for under clothing — like most of her other dresses, she had noticed — and the skirt, which split in the middle only to be covered by a thin layer of fabric, made it easy for her to pull the slit of her skirt aside and slide the blade of her knife along her plump thigh.

The tip just ghosted over her skin at first, teasing herself with the weapon that had taken so many lives already. A shiver ran down her back at the promise of what was to come — finally, feeling somewhat alive once again — getting wet from the mere memories of the last time she had touched herself like so.

The blood of her previous victim still coating the blade as she pushed it deeper, breaking into her skin — just enough to draw blood and for her breathing to turn into whimpers.

Just enough to feel that same burn, that pain that turned into pleasure so quickly for her.

She had thought she had been subtle, that her time away wouldn't cause Astarion to come looking for her. Afterall, the kill had taken her mere seconds, she still had plenty of time to take care of herself and go back to her Master. She could always use the excuse that he had been a difficult target — either way, she’d come up with something.

Little did she know, he had felt it. 

Their connection was greater than with his regular spawns; he was able to feel any sensation she felt as well as accessing her mind at any time — not that she knew about the former — and the second that knife slid across her skin, Astarion had known.

The pain in the inside of her thigh, this familiar burn; one he recognized instantly.

Oh, and he ran to find her, expecting the worst, only to find her with her legs spread open, leaning against the wall of the hallway with a body at her feet, and the hilt of her knife sliding across her wet slit, with sinful moans escaping her luscious lips.

He couldn’t say he was surprised at the sight, this was Malva after all, the woman who took a malicious pleasure in the murders she committed — ones she never questioned. The same woman who smiled as she took each and every of his punishments.

And yet, that was the last thing he expected to see when he ran for her.

So here he stood, watching as she pleasured herself with the soiled weapon she had visibly used on the corpse lying nearby, her other hand holding back the fabric of her dress as leaned back against the wall, her chest heaving as her pleasure overtook her.

Worry aside, he was now fixated on her every move. Watching, learning, so he could use it on her later. This was just one more thing to add to his library of possibilities when it came to her.

What was unacceptable was how she took those liberties without involving him, how she so easily broke those chains, and dismissed his authority.

Not only that, but she had been cutting herself — cutting him. 

He only had himself to blame, after all he had never made her aware of this part of their connection, but now the consequences of his actions had caught up to him. The same cuts he remembered suffering, that made him bleed out to near unconsciousness years ago, and all because of their connection, he was reliving these moments all over again. 

No, no, this time was different — this time he was in control, he had a say in how this would go. If his consort wanted to play, he would play along.

He leaned back and away from her eyesight, a flicker of malice flashed in his ruby eyes as he opened his mind to reach out to hers.

“Enjoying yourself, pet?”

He smirked when he heard the clink of her dagger as it fell to the floor.

“Master?” She answered back through their connection. “I was just finishing up with this—”

“Oh no, dearest, you are far from done.” He cut her off. “Pick that dagger up, and cut through your other thigh, the same way you did the other.”

She briefly remained silent as she collected her thoughts, “How did you…”

“The dagger, pet.”

“Y– Yes, sir.”

He felt the ghost of the blade over his own thigh at the same time he heard her breathy moans echo in the hallway. 

He didn’t expect the vivid flashes of his past coming back to him, the burn of the scars in his back searing through his skin. He was all powerful now, this was long in the past, why was he still affected?

“Enough, pet.”

He needed to change his approach, no matter what, Malva was going to inflict this pain onto herself. He just needed to control it — make it feel good — for both of them.

He closed his eyes, banishing the remaining memories of his past to conjure the image of his consort instead.

“Take the hilt of your dagger and smear it with your blood.”

He imagined her in her long-sleeved black dress — the one he had picked for the night, with the embroidered red dragons partly covering her chest, matching his own ensemble — legs apart and cunt exposed with her dark blood slowly dripping from her thighs getting smeared over her skin as she ran the hilt of her weapon across it, coating it in her crimson.

“Now, guide it towards your slit, but don’t push it into you.” he paused, giving her time to follow his instructions, “And up to your clit. There, good girl. You’re gonna be rubbing yourself with it until I tell you to stop.”

He sensed a hint of doubt from her when she remained unmoving, “Do you not trust me, pet?”

“I… I simply didn't expect this from you.”

“Are you not glad I’m making the effort to keep your days exciting?”She bit her lip, remembering her dread of the previous dull days, “Yes, Sir.’

“Good, then close your eyes, and start rubbing that dagger over yourself.”

He heard her loud sigh before she finally let the bloody weapon touch her sensitive spot, allowing himself to feel her pleasure in his groin as she made it twirl and slide over it.

He let his head fall back against the wall as the sensation took place between his legs, only taking in the feeling temporarily before he shot his eyes open, ready to take the matter in his hands.

With her eyes still closed, Malva didn’t see Astarion approach her. She didn't feel the weight of his gaze as he stared her down like prey. But she did hear the pounding of his heartbeat against his chest as he grew closer, and her throat bobbed in anticipation between two raspy breaths, the movement between her legs relentlessly accelerating, her juices mixing with her blood as she neared her collapse.

“Tell me,” he purred down their connection. “How do you feel?”

“Good. Really good.”

“Don’t shy away from details now, I want to know exactly how you feel, dear.”

“The cuts… they burn deliciously, Sir. I’ve— missed this feeling, ah—” She became increasingly sensitive as she rubbed her swollen bud ceaselessly. “How… my wounds feel as the blood rises to the surface. When the burn spreads through my thighs and between my legs, fuck—”

Her breath accelerated and her mind blanked out as she focused on the growing ache between her legs.

“I’m— I’m close,” she panted.

Astarion might have to learn more about his dark consort after tonight, but if there was one thing he knew without a doubt, it was the clear signs of her collapse. With her head thrown back, her body messily leaning against the wall as her legs quivered from the excessive stimulation, and her pace getting sloppier as she was reaching her climax, he knew exactly how long until she reached the edge. Some time, right about…

Now.

“Stop,” he finally spoke up as he stood in front of her.

“What?!” She exclaimed, shooting her eyes open as she lifted her head back up, staring right into his eyes.

“Drop the knife, now.”

Reluctantly, Malva plunged her blade into the luxurious carpet, grunting as she did so. 

“Still feeling good, my dear?”

She shot him a frowning glare, chest heaving and lips parted as she panted.

“What do you think?!” She shouted. “I was so damned close– fuck!”

He snickered, stepping forward to meet her stare, “So you truly believe you deserve this? That you deserve more than what I've already allowed you, when you’ve been touching yourself behind my back?”

She lifted her head and without breaking eye contact, retorted with a growl, “You wouldn’t grasp how to please me, even if I showed you precisely how.”

He wouldn’t usually accept this behaviour from her, but this time around, he wanted to see how far he could take it.

“Is that so?” He smiled as he closed the gap between them, his stance hovering over her. “In all the years we've spent together, have I not proved you wrong already?” 

She backed into the wall as he pushed her against it, one hand caging her beneath him, while the other reached for his waist to pull out his signature dagger, bringing it up and pushing Malva's head upwards as he pressed the tip right under her chin.

“Do I need to prove my point again?” 

Her frown softened, “You seem to have underestimated me, my Lord.” 

Their lips were but a whisper apart, the threat of the blade restraining Malva in this position, leaving Astarion in complete control once again. All his consort could do in this position was talk back, something she was annoyingly well versed into.

“I'll have you know that it'll take me more than a few spankings to be truly satiated.”

He chuckled, “My beautiful, dark consort. I should've known you grew from the thorniest vines.”

His vision dropped from her eyes to her lips, trailing the tip of his dagger along her jaw and down her neck, stopping right at the valley between her breasts.

“Is this what you want?” He leaned his head above the crook of her neck, whispering roughly in her ear. “For me to slice you open and bleed you out, right here, in the middle of this hallway with our guests still waiting in the main room?” 

As he slid the blade down, partly slicing open the front of her dress, a faint line of blood appeared in its wake. The knife travelled down her chest, just past her navel, where it paused, leaving the dress only partially cut through.

He brought the blade back up with the same agonising pace, resting it right over her breast, barely pushing against her to pierce the skin, “Answer me, pet.”

Malva was already lost in the feeling of the blade hovering right above her heart, the word barely slipping between her lips as she held in her breath, one she kept forgetting wasn’t necessary anymore.

“Yes.”

He pressed deeper into her, just enough for the blade to penetrate her supple skin, pushing a deeper moan out of her, “And do you think you deserve it?”

“Y– Yes, Master.”

“Mmh…” He let his knife slide back down where her pleasure had accumulated, pressing its flat side against her glistening cunt, just enough for her to believe in the promise of what would come… 

Only to remove it completely right after, licking her blood and juices off from his weapon before pushing himself off the wall.

Malva blinked as her breathing came back to her, watching as her Master walked away from her, leaving her in an even messier state than he found her in.

“Maybe next time I’ll believe you.” He made sure to pick up the blade she had thrown down earlier as well, “You'll have to use your powers to carry out your tasks from now on, I’m sure you’ll manage though. After all, I can't trust you to carry around a blade if you risk to hurt yourself, can I? It would be unwise on my part, I’m sure you understand.”

Without knowing it, his consort had opened up a whole world of possibilities for him, and it all started with her first, real, punishment.

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated, I love reading your feedback! <3 (tag list will be in the comments moving forward!)

[grazi-your-rockette-queen]

Hello hello!:D

Just read the nsfw headcanons with Michael Monroe from the anon, and they were cute!🥰

Now, could I request what ,,First time with Michael" would be like?:0 (nsfw)

'Cause I suppose there's also gonna be lots and lots of kisses!:>

See ya!♡

a/n: ofc ofcc lotsa kisses :(( also this is kinda slow burn sorryyyy… and also sorry this took f o r e v e r goddamn! i’m back :3

i was made for lovin’ you- michael monroe

it was another evening spent at the bar of some venue that the band played earlier that day. it was usually a good time, you’d made pretty good friends with the band and you enjoyed showing up to as many of their shows as possible in support of your boyfriend, michael. you’d been dating for a few months now, and you adored him and all his confidence and passion, not to mention his style and good looks.

ever since you’d befriended the band and became a part of the whole music scene in general, life had felt pretty much like a party every day, acomanied by good friends and your wonderful boyfriend. it was just another one of those nights, laughing and getting drunk at the bar. michael was keeping you close to him all night, which was pretty typical, though you thought he was acting a little different, and a little more… touchy. it didn’t bother you, in fact it felt nice to be close with him and have a protective arm around your shoulder casually. but there was a different look in his eyes, something you had never seen in him before, that you didn’t know how to feel about.

you and razzle were talking on and on about whatever, new stuff happening on melrose street, what bands were starting to pop up in different cities. music stuff. michael was quiet, though engaged and listening.

“mike and i saw this poster thing, i think it was yesterda-” you started to tell razzle, but were cut off by a spontaneous kiss on the cheek from michael. he lingered close to your face, eyes hazy when you turned to look at him in confusion.

“mike, are you alright?” you asked, squinting your eyes and cocking your head to the side. he cupped your cheek with his hand, tucking hair behind your ear as he did so.

“i’ve never been better- it’s getting kind of late, don’t you think?” he responded naturally. razzle noticed he was acting out a bit, and he too was confused.

“i guess so… are you ready to leave?” you asked softly. mike smiled at you and took your hand to help you stand up from the bar stool you’d been sitting at.

“i think so.” his words were kind of slurred, and you assumed he was drunk despite you questioning how he hadn’t had very much to drink. you nodded an ‘alright’ and started to wave goodbye to sami, who was having a separate conversation with nasty and some other drunks. because he only lived a couple blocks away, you and michael decided to walk to his place, where he offered to let you stay the night.

mike unlocked the door of his apartment, letting you inside first before stepping into the mildly messy flat and discarding his red leather jacket along with his keys. you slumped onto his couch, as he followed after you and basically had you in his lap.

“michael, what’s with you tonight?” you giggled, holding his head and taking another look into his icy, half lidded blue eyes. he didn’t answer immediately, but wore a straight face aside from a subtle smile and those drunk, lovey-dovey eyes.

“nothing’s wrong, everything’s very right, actually.” he paused to continue admiring your facial features with such focus that made you blush. “there’s just something i’ve been thinking about.”

“and what is that?” you asked, raising your eyebrows and smirking playfully.

“have you ever had sex?” he dove straight to the point, but it was surprisingly comfortable for you. except for the part where you had to answer him honestly.

“well, no, i mean not really…” you trailed off, looking away from his eyes.

“not really?” he chuckled.

“no.” you answered finally, rolling your eyes and blushing once again. he nodded, eyes remaining set on your own. he reacted calmly and without judgement, to your gratefulness.

“well, do you maybe think you’d want to try it with me?” he suddenly changed from the lost in the clouds, goofy smile mike to a shy boy who was slightly more humble. you giggled softly at his proposal, but thought about it for a minute.

“i don’t know what it’s like.” you answered, still giggly about a new feeling that had been brought up in you. he continued to smile sweetly at you.

“i’ll show you- it’ll be beautiful, okay?” he reassured you, not wanting to make you feel pressured but still very much longing for you. you whispered an ‘okay’ after considering the concept further. his smile grew, and he picked you up so you stood from the couch. he held your hands delicately and led you into his bedroom, lying you down on the bed and placing a kiss on your forehead.

“okay, will you undress for me, darling?” he asked while taking out his earrings to place on the nightstand and kicking off his boots. you obliged, carefully removing your shirt and exposing yourself to the cold air, quickly covering yourself with your arms instinctively. michael smiled sweetly.

“you don’t have to be shy, love. i already know that you’re gorgeous, you can’t hide it from me now.” he half-joked, hoping to loosen your tension and encourage you. you smiled and looked away, blushing again. you moved your arms from your chest to unzip your skirt and slide it down one leg and then the other, still nervously. mike pulled his own shirt over his head before unzipping his pants and dropping them to the floor. you couldn’t help but marvel at him, his tattoos accenting his pale skin and figure. he moved closer to sit with you on the bed, his eyes tracing down and across your body eagerly.

“see? stunning.” he tracked his gaze back to your face, landing on your lips and leaning in slowly to kiss you softly. and it felt different than before, more exciting, though scary all at once. your mind raced, feeling michael’s hands travel to your waist, then softly massaging your hips and pulling you into him. the action caused you to gasp, the feeling of him so suddenly close against you heightened that rushing feeling of excitement. you realized that it wasn’t only internal excitement once michael traced his hand suavely down to feel the damp warmth that signified your arousal. you squirmed when he slowly circled over your clit with a single finger, and he chuckled.

“how does that feel?” he whispered softly.

“i want more.” you replied quietly, breathing starting to pick up. he planted a soft kiss on the side of your face and moved his fingers to your entrance, slowly sliding a single finger into the wetness, causing you to gasp.

“alright?” he looked up at you again for approval, which you granted. he started to move his finger in and out of your entrance, watching his finger become coated in your juices. you relaxed into the pillows, moaning at the sensation. he kept pumping one finger steadily for a little while until he pulled away from you, causing your eyes to open and you to look at him in slight confusion.

“i need you bad, angel. are you sure you want to do this?” your eyes scanned his body and face, carefully considering his every word. you nodded, mouth agape and eyes wide and focused. he sunk back down to you, peppering kisses down your neck to your collarbone and a trail down between your breasts. he took his dick out of his only lasting confines, his breathing pattern picking up in speed while he carefully spread your legs and lined himself up the best he could before slowly pushing in just the tip.

“deep breath, okay?” he reminded you in a calm and warm voice, placing another lasting kiss on your chest. you whimpered as he worked his way into you, so careful not to hurt you yet he was evidently burning with passion already. he groaned as he bottomed out, hitting your walls deep inside you and feeling you around him satisfied something he’d been longing for. he didn’t stop checking in with you the whole way through, as he wanted to make you to feel as good as you made him feel.

“oh god, angel, feels so good.” mike groaned softly, praising you as he set a steady pace of thrusting after allowing you to get used to the new feeling of him inside you. as you hummed and let out sighs and moans in an uncontrollable response to the overwhelming sensation, especially once michael found the most sensitive spot deep inside your cunt.

“michael, i think- ah-” you struggled to speak, and cut yourself off with moans as he quickly caught on and continued what he was doing, angling his thrusts slightly upwards, going faster and harder than before but still very carefully.

“are ya close, babe? ah- i feel ya getting tighter around me- ngh” he spoke into your ear, leaning as close to you as he could. you nodded, grabbing onto his hair and accidentally tugging at the roots harder than you intended, earning a loud moan from the man on top of you.

“fuck, honey” he kissed down your jaw, his focus centered on getting you to come. then, an unexpected warmth came to your core and the feeling of michael’s length inside you, pounding at your g spot became almost too much before it became a blissful sensation like you’d never felt before. your head fell back into the pillows, allowing michael access to your neck while you moaned and seized on his cock as you came. michael groaned with you as your orgasm subsided, burying his face in your neck and pulling out of you suddenly to come on your stomach. you ran your fingers through his hair, breathing heavily. he came down from his own high, kissing your collarbone and laying his head on your chest comfortably while you continued combing his hair with your soft fingers.

“sorry about this mess, doll.” he chuckled apologetically, referring to his cum on your stomach. you exhaled and smiled, finally coming back down to earth.

“here, i’ll get you cleaned up.” with another most soft and painstaking kiss to your lips, he got up from the bed to get a towel and make you tea.

[lovelyrotter]

I read your thing about stridercest. I didn’t super like the ship (I’m more of a lalondecest girlie) but I respect the hell out of the textual analysis you did. Anyway do you have any good fic recommendations? I want to see what you see in it.

oh fuck yeah i love sharing ship stuff especially with ppl who dont usually go here and vice versa for me. its like hell yeah im digging in sand and its fun i love my sand and then i turn around and woah i had no idea there was even MORE sand just behind me ya dig? that might not have made any sense hahaha. its the joy of trading pokemon cards except with ships

but okay heres some of my current faves. bear in mind i read mostly M and E rated stuff but ive got a sprinklin of lower ratings in here too. im also gonna categorize this list by stridercest flavour. theres a lot so this turned out like ridiculously long

anyone else goin through this feel free to link yalls faves in the replies too cause im ravenous. especially if its haldirk. im constantly craving haldirk

guardiancest

doku line terminus & two steps away from the county line by lildogie these first cause theyre my ultra faves rn and i cant get enough of this au. set in the same universe but county line is the prequel. a/b/o verse with lotsa interesting political stuff and also interpersonal dynamics. dave & dirk are there too and are real cute. its also got mysterious time travelling. i really cant sell these two enough like i am not doin these justice

davedirk / dirkdave

if i woke up next to you by bumbly | G, ~2,700 words, complete. SUPER sweet relationship study, made me fuckin melt. this author has really good stuff for other ships too but mind the archive warnings

dont joke about hentai face broctopus transplants im eating cheese n onion pringles here by smrtnik | M, ~1k words, complete. this one made me fuckin melt its so tender. it truly feels like were peeking into their life together. also great title

Stasis State by Caeslin | T, ~3k words, complete. another really intimate feeling one. its so fuckin sweet. mind the tags for typical dirk suicide attempt but its not on screen its moreso the recovery and how dave is affected by it

“stupid fucking bullshit” ad nauseam by anon | T, 13.7k words, complete. REALLY GOOD AU. trans striders, fade to black sex scene. the boys are cute and you can feel how much theyre drawn to each other immediately. wish there was more of this

sometimes the bad guy wins by nutrimercenary | E, ~7.5k words, ongoing. wow. oh wow. ive been looking for a davedirk fic like this for a long time. PLEASE read the warnings and tags but its so fuckin good. a crossdimentional narrative tug-o-war between dave and ult dirk i fuckin love it

got it goin on by bumbly | E, 7.5k words, complete. dirk indulges daves mommy kink after prying it outta him. its cute and funny and sexy it made me smile. their dynamic is sooo sweet

helping hands by ghostlyAnarchist | E, 5.1k words, complete. THIS IS SO GOOD. its got trans man dave and is genuinely one of the hottest transmasc fics ive read so far and boy howdy ive read a lot. slight warning for dysphoria discussion but its not too bad its all just hot af a dick-sucking venn diagram by Elendraug | E, 10k words, complete. first off domestic af. very established relationship and you can tell. its so fuckin sweet. i looove this one. its like the best kind of silly realistic smut its one of my faves of all time

STILL WITH ME by egbert | E, 8k words, complete. dave and dirk strife and then fuck in the bathroom. holy shit this is hot. their want is like tangible in this one

brodave and a!brodirk

hardware by orphan_account | E, ~8k words, complete. dave gets some dick piercings and bro goes insane about them. hot as hell and also features bottom bro which is my fave. its got a couple uses of the r-slur but its also from 2011 so i take it w/ a grain of salt. 2011 and earlier fics are like internet artifacts (/pos)

but you better never pull it by hapaxlegomena | E, 5k words, complete. wow. WOW. sub top bro and dom bottom dave need i say more. this sub bro activates my cute aggression the power play is great mars & murrie's by orphan_account | E, 6.8k words, complete. a!brodirk, omorashi. super hot!!!! alpha dave is sooo embarrassed about his piss kink but dirk wins in the end hahaha. really intriguing which i know sounds funny on an omo fic but read it and youll know. i love this alpha dave

temporal sunset by Plajus | M, 19.5k over 5 chapters, complete. a!brodirk. holy shit what a ride. this one held me hostage and now lives in my brain rent free (bdum tiss sorry). dirk is terminally ill so i know it wont be for everyone but give it a try and goddamn you wont be disappointed. trust me

a swinging pendulum by ghostlyAnarchist | T, ~900 words, complete. a!brodirk time/dream bubble encounter. wow just wow. the want. the yearning immaterial by LPSunnyBunny | E, 1k words, complete. a!brodirk, trans dirk. holy shit!!!!!! holy shit!!!!! hot hot hot!!!!!!! shower sex sensation control!!!!

haldirk

singular by 2x2verse | E, 6.8k words, complete. hal has an existential crisis dirk catches him and then they fuck tenderly about it. genuinely so romantic. im addicted to this kind of haldirk. honestly i just recommend the entire series diagnostics by 2x2verse | E, 2.9k words, complete. i know i just linked this authors whole collection of haldirk fics but holy crap this one in particular. dom/sub electrostim with sensory deprivation, hal is the dom. i LOVE how hes written here. very attentive domming, great details

A Fatal Error Has Occurred by Mortior | E, 42k words, 4/5 chapters. oh mortior my haldirk regent. really fuckin good character writing in an au where hal has an android body before the alpha session is started. read the tags for warnings. the tension between them is insane endangered by Mortior | E, 100k+ words, complete multichapter. holy fuck where to begin with this one. this is a haldirk sensation. post apocalyptic au where androids won the human-robot war. dirk runs into AR. AR takes an interest in him. dirk takes even more of an interest in AR. if youre gonna read any haldirk read this one

"im basically fucking him" series by Elendraug | T & E, all complete. so!!!!! fucking!!!!! tender!!!!! really cute haldirk progressing through their relationship

ridiculously late by cinnamonfreak | E, 21k, completed multichapter. a/b/o au where dirk suddenly presents. REALLY intriguing hal in this one i fuckin love the power play

roboporn by smrtnik | E, 3.9k words, complete. really fun power play in this one. hal is waterproofed externally but not internally. he gives dirk a handie over his open chassis torso. theres also really sweet snuggling afterwards

[cable-knit-sweater]

If it feels right (then it must be)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Word count: 2.1k

Rating: E

Tags: Dom/sub, Dom Bucky Barnes, sub Steve Rogers, cockwarming, face fucking, dirty talk, facials, daddy kink, come play, memory recovery, flashbacks

Summary:

He’d stared up at him. “What did you call me?” Bucky asked, a little nonsensically. “What did I… Buck?” Steve had a lopsided smile on his face as he made his way into the room. “I call you lotsa things,” he said, but whereas usually, he’d say something like that with an amused voice and a shit eating grin, Bucky could just hear worry shine through. “No, I meant,” Bucky shook his head, trying to find a way to explain, to ease Steve's worries, “before, what did you call me before.” “I really don’t-” “Before,” he said, trying to infuse his words with as much meaning as he could. “Before, when we were together, when we'd-” He could see understanding slowly dawn on Steve, his frown easing. “Oh.” A light blush started to cover his cheeks. “You remembered?” he asked, voice soft, eyes hopeful.

In which Bucky remembers what Steve used to call him, and Steve starts calling him it again.

Read on AO3

Written for @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer || Week 2: June 8th - June 14th || “What should I call you?” || [Daddy | Alpha | Sir] and @allcapsbingo card AC1005 || Square: G2 - Facial

[tazzymcclazzy]

RAAAAGH GRAAARRRGHHH AND OTHER SUCH SCARY DRAGONDOGTHING NOISES pleas e read this

tazdrgaoneyetagain -> tazzymcclazzy! first url change lets go

HELLAO! i go by taz, tazzy/tazzer, jevil, petco, or if youre feeling sillay, you can call me drgaone! or just dragon. if youre normal. also any variation of the word dog. if you call me fazerblaster you get fazerblasted into next fucking week (i'm looking at you, deezers)

☆ he/it/that/bark/woof/any canine-related neo you can fathom but i very much like it/its, transmasc and pan! can't quite describe my exact gender its like caninegender and boygored's evil child it's like the cissest-looking trans man you know its like some shadowy creature in the woods its like a docile wolf. you know the drill. one day ill find a xeno that fits that

☆ furry and therian (black wolfdog) and simultaneously petre because you can never be too canine i guess, otherhearted (dragonhearted of course flaps my huge wings at u), selfshipper!!!1!1!

☆ not whatsoever diagnosed with anythin other than a few miscellaneous conditions but everyone who talks to me agrees theres some divergent on that neuro

☆ taken and very loud about it i love bird sm. SO much. im normal im so so normal [dies

☆ chronic epistaxis i am the number one bleeder

☆ also part of the corpoverse! i'm @petcotherealest

☆ also check out @tazzys-wof-au-askblog ^^

☆ some userboxessssss...... thank you tumblr user clumsypaws

《FANDOMS :3333》

◇ wings of fire

◇ pjsk/vocaloid

◇ fnaf, specifically the dcas

◇ hfjone

◇ the walten files

◇ chonny's charming chaos compendium

◇ regretevator. its birds fault

◇ kinitopet!!!!

◇ ANIMATIC BATTLE RAHH

《F/OS !!》

♡ sun (five nights at freddys, romantic f/o)

♡ six-claws (wings of fire, father f/o)

♡ sayori (doki doki literature club, romantic f/o)

♡ shadow bonnie (five nights at freddys, caregiver f/o)

♡ kinito (kinitopet, platonic f/o)

♡ exclamation mark (animatic battle, platonic f/o)

《TAGSSSS》

♧ drgaone roars -> og posts

♧ drgaone snarls -> asks and answers

♧ tax evasion -> art tag! i used this one across all my past blogs (@taz-drgaone, and the one i had to deactivate womp womp) so going through a tag for a literal felony is fucking flooded with fruity dragons. in retrospect i should have made it drgaone draws

♧ manatee the silly! -> manatee my blorbo my silly. also used across all blogs but you dont have to scroll past political shit

♧ saveforlater -> imagine me curled up on a pile of these posts like a sleeping dragon atop its horde of treasures

♧ holy shit the images are moving -> animations i post

♧ partnerposting -> me being in love

♧ drgaoneflame -> posts im proud of. or popularish ones. the bangers

《MORE INFO I GUESS》

♤ feel free to send asks requests dms whateva!!!1! i thrive off interaction its my fucking lifeblood

♤ ask about my ocs. i beg you. hehe begging is that a sex reference

♤ on that topic, if it's brought up and ya get confused: carp is a dca au/selfship/crossover thingy invented via dumbassery and roleplay by me, birdic, and realguitarcenter/8ightism, and it involves a lot of my wof oc lore (if i infodump to you abt one and redact something due to carp relation that is why), literal satanism, and lotsa heavy topics. if you wanna know about it, i will GLADLY TELL YOU and i have a loredoc in the works. my sona is from carp, as is any characters by the name of austin, avery, or gabe. we hate gabe

♤ my discord is assigned.mucka.at.blucka PLEASE ADD ME i love makin friends so so so much

♤ tazzerjevil on ao3!!! read my fics boy. currently workinf on a jashling chatfic im v proud of

♤ not gonna put my othar triggers here due to An Incident but ask about em via dms or smth if you wish ^^ if you trigger me i will be so ploite about it though (I HATE YOU CHARLIE;/aff)

♤ PRO-PALESTINE. except i cant post much abt it because my zionist mother looks at my tumblr and id rather use this website as a place to relax than a place to spread information about current events pleeeaaasse respect that. but from the river to the sea palestine will be free‼️ i do my daily clicks also

♤ i am worlds most annoying dog. i will spam you with barking and yap about my partner so much

♤ i have many a sideblag! if you find the petre one, you get a gold star. if you find the other one and ask abt it, you get blocked. i sincerely apologize! but if u find the other one you probably have me blocked anyway ORRR youre looking here for more info about that one so uerm. hey there guys

♤ i am tooootally okay with jashshipping! i do NOT hc them as brothers. polytrident for the win bcos Comfort okay

♤ speaking of cccc , i will DEVOUR any soulwhole content. but when i joke that they r literally me and my partner irl it is A JOAK!! simply me being weird and yearning in a soul-ish religious fashion abt that wonderful bigender loser. plus they just LOOK like whole ok

BASIC DNI SHIT! pls if ur a jackass or bigot or anything do Not follow. also anyone against transspecies people (not one myself but its such a cool concept), mspec lesbians, xenos or neos. also if youre gonna tag me in a reblog chain plEASE dont, but especially dont do one of those ones where it says "tag [insert number of people]" i panic and have no clue who ta tag,,, also no reblog bait please! makes me nervous.

sona refs, theriotype refs, and other such images under the cut

SONA REFS:

second one by @/ratboyinastarrycoat!!

THERIOTYPE REFS:

i am simultaneously a large predator and an Oipouy. got a problem with that, liberal?/ref

OKAY THATS ALL SCAMPERS AWAY

[qpjianghu]

Just finished the cdrama PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE and my god what absolute delectable chaos. I understood none of the plot but the vibes were impeccable. HIGHLIGHTS:

Takes chaotic bisexuals taken to a hitherto unseen level of lunacy

Lead characters with such staggering levels of self-destructive tendencies that it boggles the soul. My main man Li Wu, traumatized orphan lying liar who lies, just wants to Be Bi and Do Crimes but inadvertantly gets roped into joining the secret police, gets embroiled in a conspiracy, yada yada yada, suddenly he's devoted his whole life to this one guy Lu Zheng, to the extent that he rises through the ranks and alternatively supports and sabotages the whole freakin' empire just to KEEP THE GUY SAFE (???)

Fucked up found families!! you love to see it!!

I can count on one hand the number of m/f ships I love, but this show has such a delightful pairing. Their meet-cute is her (badass assassin ninja Shu Tang) casually walking around trying to figure out where to hide his body while he (lying liar who lies Li Wu) pathetically pleads for his life. At some point she wakes up piss-drunk in a brothel surrounded by like 20 other ladies. No further explanation given.

Shu Tang: "I can't marry you because I have too much shit to do." Mad respect, girl. Go finish up your murders, sweetie.

They end up fake dating to real dating!!! Or more accurately fake dating to ruthlessly divorced, to confused pining, to

Back to the two male leads. How do I even. There are no words to describe their relationship. I can't even justifiably say it's queer coded because they are not so much devoted to each other as utterly and completely unhinged about each other. Every time meet up they either flirt so dizzyingly even THEY lose track of the plot or they get violently and messily divorced. Or both!!! Then in the next scene they're dying for each other. Li Wu cuts off the fingers of like 38 people just to ensure that Lu Zheng.... look I honestly don't even know how the logic tracks but it was fuckin' nuts. Then at some point Li Wu devotes his whole life to making Lu Zheng hates him because he thinks he deserves the brunt of all of Lu Zheng's anger and pain and rage??? babygirl alert

At some point another character just screams at them to kiss and make up, and they're both like No. I hate him. I would die for him. Fuck off.

HE HOLDS HIS HAND WHILE SHOWING HIM HOW TO WRITE THEIR VOWS TO EACH OTHER I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP

So much crying <3 <3 <3

Lotsa stabbing <3 <3 <3

HE IS BABY

SUCH BABY

homies, w h a t

STOP MAKING HIM CRY (keep making him cry)

(I need to gif this scene, he just caresses his chest for like 5 whole seconds)

Bro what if we wrote our catchphrase of devotion on a lantern together and we were both boys

Maybe I should have had more knowledge of what went down in the 25th year of the Emperor Hongwu but I had zero clue what was flying most of the time or why anyone was doing what they were doing or why that random white dude with the terrible haircut showed up but I blame a lot of it on the terrible subtitles, which I honestly suspect were just fucking with me most of the time??

At some point a key character is kidnapped and we legit just never find out what happened to him (OR MAYBE I'M DUMB AND MISSED IT)

Realtalk though, some of the whiplash was probably intentional in the sense that the show devastatingly presents a time and place in which imperial edict was the rule of law and everyone underneath was ruthlessly subjected to higher powers beyond their control. That sense of utter chaos and helplessness was beautifully and brutally portrayed.

You can also still catch me lying in fetal position on the floor because of lines like "I'm not a good person or a hero but I tried to be a good father" and "Do you know why they cut a condemned person's neck? If they cut on bone, the blade will be destroyed" and love declarations like "If it weren't for all this I'd like to just sit and watch the sunset with you" and “I was happy every day before I met you”

The costumes. The aesthetics. The cinematography. The fire motif. CHEF'S KISS.

I have yet to watch a cdrama (or kdrama for that matter) where the music didn't rock my socks off, and this one's no exception. The bromance theme is an absolute goddamn banger and the m/f duet ending theme slays every time.

handssssss

(Anyway, gonna go queue a bunch of reblogs and then go back to crying over Mysterious Lotus Casebook for the rest of my life, probably)

Okay I saved this for the end so I can slap a ****SPOILER WARNING**** here first, though it doesn't actually give away any plot details or anything (because, again, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS HAPPENING MOST OF THE TIME), but this is LITERALLY the last shot of the series:

GOD. WHAT. A CHOICE. ASHDFOIAHSIODH.

[jargyles]

jeddie - the one where they don't break up

j&e have an epic summer of love and can't wait to finish highschool together (au where the byers don't move to cali. yet), but jonathan's insecurities get in the way of their outness. they don't break up about it. | ship: jonathan byers/eddie munson | bg characters: will byers (mentioned), wayne munson (mentioned) | words: ~3.4k | warnings: mentions of drinking, recreational drug use, references past alcoholism, internalized homophobia, period-typical attitudes around queerness, jonathan-typical relationship problems. lotsa angst

summer happened.

jonathan and eddie kissed for the first time, a whip of teeth and tongue that left jonathan hopped up on a new strand of endorphins and eddie- well, the same, but back then- newly obsessed with his club member's brother. jonathan hadn't anticipated them kissing more after that, chalking it up to some hazy frolic into dying grass, a firework that left a smell. he figured that would be the case especially when the fourth of july came and eddie kissed him again, and a handful of times between then and their first kiss, and another handful of times after that.

jonathan didn't think anything of it; having eddie around, getting high, going to shows and kissing in the dark, getting drunk, kissing after long walks home, all of it seemed like something that fit into eddie's idea of "a summer you'll never forget, byers". he didn't think anything about the way eddie looked, or spoke, or played guitar, or even held him in between moments they weren't doing anything. he didn't think about any of that, but… there was something. something that drove them to where they are now, something that made jonathan fully aware of what they meant to each other, even if it took a while.

it'd be the way eddie beamed at him every time they met, thin lips brandishing wide smiles and folding into the slight chub of his cheeks. it'd be the way jonathan didn't understand what it meant to feel empty when he didn't see him smiling. it'd be the way his hair would fall in stringy curls in front of his big brown eyes during a show, or after, or before, when they'd spent a good thirty minutes trying to wrestle a blunt they were sharing away from one another. the way his eyes would linger on the bend of eddie's knuckles underneath his silver rings. sometimes it'd be his scent, his laugh, even his touch- but really it'd be the lack of it all that drove jonathan to places he never thought he'd park at. especially with eddie munson.

neither one of them expected the other to say 'i love you', but they both did, and they were both shocked and didn't know what would come after that, but then they just kind of dealt with it. they would kiss, and get high, and go to shows, and hold each other, and spend days with jonathan's family and wayne, or the party, or the rest of eddie's band, and they would smile and say 'i love you' somewhere in between all that. they didn't even question it, and after about two months or so, they just accepted it. they were dating. boyfriends, even.

summer happened and the rest of their relationship became interwoven with trips to scoops and reading comic books in the woods and making out while listening to queen, a middle ground. the theatrics and vibrato were for eddie, and the music, the lyrics, and the familiarity of it all were for jonathan. lyrics became dates of the week, and theatrics became sweat-stained t-shirts under fizzling leds. they were trapped there for a while.

eddie had to repeat his senior year (again), and jonathan was starting his. both of these milestones, so to speak, took place after summer, and they hadn't thought about that.

jonathan was mostly excited for will; getting to drive to school together, showing him where his classes were, helping him with extracurriculars and homework, not even thinking for a second that his little brother would be attending the same school as his boyfriend. eddie didn't think about that either; he was stoked to have his byers and his mini byers with him, rambling on about how 'awesome' hellfire campaigns would be, how they'd drive him to the hideout- to which jonathan immediately shot that down- and how will's freshman year would be his favorite year because 'me and big byers are gonna make you never forget it, kid' and that's all the two of them cared about, really.

they didn't think about what would happen after they showed up at school together.

will decided that he'd rather walk with the rest of his friends to school that day, and have a proper meet-up-and-recap before they all settled into new classes and opportunities, so jonathan and eddie rode to school together. in eddie's van.

the thing they don't tell most people about having a boyfriend in hawkins is that most people in hawkins who have boyfriends are girls, and most boys who date have girlfriends, and so little couple-y things like showing up to school in the same van and fixing each other's jackets would earn strange and unsettling looks from fellow student passersby. things like that, when done without a girl present or involved in the straightening or light dusting of jackets, often got someone spat on or shoved into a toilet or trash can or locker of some kind, accompanied with a brand new word for "gay" written in permanent marker somewhere on your exposed skin for everyone to see.

they have the same first period, but they don't walk to class together.

they have the same last period too, but eddie can't wait that long.

during lunch, when jonathan is washing his hands before making the trek to the parking lot to eat alone in his car, a handful of boys enter and exit their respective stalls. most of them ignore him (thankfully) and the ones that don't just stare, and it could be due to his brother- the zombie- attending school with him now, it could be the way some people definitely saw him exit the same van as eddie munson, and it could be the way it's taking him so long to raise his hands above the sink to dry them off. all in all, they're still staring. there's a rolodex of reasons to stare at jonathan byers, and none of them are good, and all of them make sense, to a certain degree.

at least jonathan can wash his hands about it. he's getting better at moving his arms past his elbows, and he's grateful for being able to wash his hands under five minutes, even if his fingers still jitter or the water feels like- something he's bound to wash away again, maybe, if he isn't careful about eddie. about will. at least he can look forward to walking by eddie's table with the rest of the hellfire club as he makes his way into peaceful (albeit, regretful) solitude. maybe eddie will shoot him a wink mid speech, or smile at him and act like he's smiling at someone else during one of his elaborate public disruptions.

instead, jonathan hears a loud, swinging screech and flinches, his arms tensing up down to the laddering of his spine, and his first instinct is to reach for something but instead he just ducks his head down and mutters an apology, as if he was the one barging in on an innocent sink-dweller. instead of barking back at him, or spitting a venom-slick synonym for 'queer' and shoving him into the nearest stall, the interrupter pulls him in for a tight hug. it startles jonathan, until he realizes the only person to hug him by lifting him a foot above the ground is-

"can't fucking do this-" and eddie’s wrapping constrictor-tight arms around him one moment, then pushing the two of them into the nearest stall the next, and holding him by the face with both hands to kiss him right after that, "can't fucking do this, byers- i can't-"

"hey, listen-" jonathan melts, and couldn't think of a way to reciprocate eddie's intensity if he tried, becoming fully swept up in words stitched in between layers of kissing, "listen, eds-"

eddie stops, because he knows when to stop, when jonathan feels like it's becoming too much, too much acting and not enough savoring, or too much closeness when he needs air. jonathan expected eddie to ramble himself into a corner, or have a smile cutting its way across his mouth, something familiar to soothe his yearning. what jonathan doesn't expect is eddie looking back at him with eyes so wet, so red, that it looks like he'd been punched everywhere but south from the time he swung that door open to the first kiss he planted on jonathan's face.

"do you- do you know?" eddie's hand is on the spot next to jonathan's head. he's practically hunched over, his lips scrunched into a frown. "do you know how hard it is to act like i don't fuckin' miss you like crazy?"

"i know, hey, i know-" and jonathan is cradling eddie's head in his shoulder like he did during the summer, when they'd open up about things like this, that left them hoveling and wrecked for hours on end. he smooths over his stringy mass of hair, pushing it out of his face while eddie tried to replace the air in his lungs with whatever jonathan had going on at the top of his neck.

"i can't fucking do this." he snaps, his voice as wet as his eyes when he yanks himself from underneath jonathan's hold.

"i know." jonathan is prepared for the worst; he's ready to kiss eddie one last time in that stall and walk out with a wrinkled shirt that's bound to turn heads. he figures it's the end of summer and eddie has a breakable heart, and it must break his heart to not be around jonathan like how he used to, so jonathan figures it's time. he sighs, putting on a brave, stoic face while giving eddie a firm squeeze on his shoulder.

eddie isn't having any of it.

"i can't fucking live like this, byers." eddie says it- live- in a way that jonathan would've easily missed had he been focused on the mess of teeth and tongue sliding its way up and down his neck, dancing just above his collarbone.

it weighs on him, the idea of eddie not being able to live without him, or the idea of eddie not being able to live without being with him, whichever idea made the most sense. jonathan knows this is nonsensical, from every angle, because eddie doesn't mean that, and jonathan shouldn't just assume things out of people he dates for a month or two, or three, or… however long it's been since their first kiss. just because eddie kissed him back then the exact same way he's kissing him now- sporadic movements and bumps of teeth, both of their skin clammy and sundried at the same time- doesn't mean they should exist in a world where hawkins isn't hawkins. it's hard for him to imagine it, a world where he and eddie could step out of the same van or even hold hands in the halls, and if he tries hard enough he can convince himself that that isn't actually what he wanted from all this, no way, no how. it's hard to convince himself of that when eddie is taking his zipper down.

"eddie, wait-" he manages to cough out, having had every cognitive thought kissed right out of him, and his featherlight wrist tries to pick at eddie's heavily accessorized one. "really, wait. c'mon, eds- we gotta- gotta talk this out, okay? talk."

eddie exhales, long and heavy through his nose, with a pleased chuckle rumbling somewhere underneath all that. jonathan is relieved, even if eddie starts pressing quiet kisses up his neck again, at least jonathan knows he's listening.

"i missed you too." jonathan leans into it, resting his palm on eddie's cheek. he does miss him, even now, but he won't say it. eddie doesn't have to know that this is hard for him too, that he wants to be doing this- kissing, no judgemental eyes or poisonous words- out in the open, with all their peers, with everyone and anyone who could see.

eddie makes a noise, disgruntled, perished, wrecked inside, and he’s pressing the flesh of his cheek into jonathan's hand, nuzzling him with a ferocity that shouldn't be described as a "nuzzle". his arms come around jonathan's waist, tight, like he's protesting the bulldozing of the place that doesn't card for cigarettes, or trying to break him in half.

"i'm serious, eds," jonathan hears himself break, for a second, in a voice crack that borders on a wheeze, "i missed you. a lot."

"yeah, no, i- i know." eddie closes his leaking eyes tight, breathing him in again. "which is why i- i can't. i can't not be with you, or around you, or act like i don't even… like we don't even… know each other? does that make sense? i don't- i don't know what i'm saying here, jonny. something in there might make sense-"

"eddie." jonathan scoffs with endearment, then his heart sinks when he thinks about not getting to hear his boyfriend ramble anymore. "i know what you mean."

they pause, silence wrapping around them like a wool blanket. they're just limbs at this point; eddie's lips still wandering aimlessly on however much skin he could find on jonathan's neck, jonathan's head curled towards him, both of their arms folded around each other as they breathed, speaking in bumps of noses and sighs of gratitude.

"we just have to be careful, okay?" jonathan is the first to pull them back to reality, as unwilling as he was. "just for the year, yeah? so people don't think… y’know."

"god," eddie groans, his forehead thumping against the wall behind them, and he chuckles again, until it bleeds into a whine. "since when do we care about what people think? since when did we have to start acting like fucking…" both of them know what that silence means, and both of them knew how to not get caught over the summer, except for when they didn't, "ugh! this fucking sucks. this sucks, byers. why do we have to pretend that we're-"

"we won't be pretending," jonathan's face feels blank, and he tightens his fingers around eddie's bicep, "we'd still be together, just… we won't tell anyone. not because of what they'll say, but because it isn't their business."

there were a lot of things jonathan was scared of, and a lot of reasons to be scared of them. for a long time, he was scared of having to hurt someone he loved, and he was prepared for the inevitability of it happening, because ever since will first went missing, he knew he'd shut himself off more. what he wasn't prepared for, in the event of letting down a person he loved, was for that person to be eddie. he especially, never in his life, would've thought to prepare for the look on eddie's face after he said that.

eddie backs off completely, unashamed tears fully streaming down his face, his hands forgetting jonathan's zipper entirely, latching onto his shoulders like jonathan would go missing without them being wound together. he shrugs, and then his head is down and jonathan hears the starts to a lot of sentences that never get finished, or even have a first word to begin with. his hands tremble, his ring-clad fingers digging dent marks into jonathan's bare ones. he sniffles, hard, and it breaks jonathan's heart right down the middle.

he knows he should say something. he knows he should pull eddie closer, tell him he didn't mean it, that they'll just float through their senior year together and it'll be a breeze, or the best year of will's life, or whatever else eddie said, but he can't. he can't bring himself to do anything when he knows that lunch period will be over soon, and someone might see them leave this stall together and assume the worst- the truth- and make their lives a living hell. eddie doesn't deserve that. he should be able to graduate in one piece without jonathan dragging him down.

"i didn't know you were-" eddie is the first to speak, because jonathan is busy holding in his own tears at seeing him like this, "i didn't think you still cared about this stuff, y'know?" he squeezes jonathan's hands in his palms, "other people seeing us, whatever, all that shit. i didn't know it mattered so much to you."

"it doesn't." jonathan's lips crinkle into a frown. eddie didn't know what he was talking about.

"yeah?" eddie meets his eyes, and they're worse than jonathan could've imagined them being. his face is flushed, and his lips are red from having kissed jonathan so much, and his mouth twitches as it opens and closes, words dying off his tongue before he could form them. "because you really seem to give a shit about being seen with me, or even fucking knowing me, actually, so what gives? what changed with you, byers? what made you make up this- this fucking game plan on how we're supposed to act now, huh?"

"nothing." jonathan's voice is tight, and his fingers feel small and dry in eddie's hands.

"bullshit." eddie's grip is more firm, more secure, but still soft. his eyes scan jonathan's face, and his eyebrows have that arch in them that jonathan had only seen when he was learning a new song on guitar. he used to admire it, found it cute, but now it terrifies him. "what, are you, like… embarrassed of me? ashamed or- or something?"

"that's not-" jonathan feels a single tear fall, and he realizes he might've been holding in a breath this entire time. he knew how eddie worked; all it took was one missed idea, or misconstrued thought, and eddie would be in his dark hole of self pity once again, and they'd done so well with his progressing sobriety over the summer that jonathan doesn't want to see what'll happen when eddie gets down there again. “i’m not.”

"you don't like me anymore, then?" that crack in his voice- jonathan hates it- makes eddie sound like a rejected kid, and even he starts to shake his head at how ridiculous it might sound. "are we not, like, clicking like we used to? is it someone else?"

"eddie-" jonathan knows he's helpless to stop this spiral, and he starts his own series of unfinished sentences that come out as shortenings of breath and hollow grunts.

"did i do something?" eddie has his shoulders fully slumped now. "i know i'm not, like, the best boyfriend in the world or anything, but, you- you gotta tell me if i mess up, y’know? so we can-"

the bell rings. jonathan swore he wouldn't miss lunch, swore to himself he wouldn't make a scene on the first day back, for everyone's sake, and here they were. eddie is stood frozen in front of him, his body solid in it's hunched stance while his eyes bug out, racing around every corner of their shared space. when jonathan snaps his fingers in front of his face, eddie heaves, his posture loosening almost instantly.

"go." jonathan wishes he didn't sound so quick to get eddie to leave, but he has to get them apart before people see, and eddie still isn't getting the picture. he grabs him by the arm, and the way eddie won't even look at him is blunt enough to crack a bone. "you have go, eds, right now, or-"

"yeah." eddie snatches his arm away, sniffs hard as he wipes his face with one hand, and pushes the stall door open to properly storm out. "already ahead of you."

jonathan watches him leave, knowing (or at least assuming to know) that they'll talk later, and that they both need to get a grip before shit gets heavier than it needs to be. it'd have to be at his trailer after school, without will tagging along or, hopefully, without wayne to mistakenly wander in on their conversation. jonathan would have to think, long and hard, about what that talk would even mean for them. worst case scenario, they break up and hate each other for the rest of their lives.

jonathan can't think of another scenario.

[punkpandapatrixkdailyread]

キラキラ光、眩しいキラリ、ひらひら幻 kirakira hikari, mabushii kirari, hirahira maboroshi／dazzling glittering in this fantastical world of dreams

Moon Day 4→5 in Libra／Waxing Crescent

day’s V I B E – King of Swords Rx

Have you ever felt, like, right when you’re transcending above petty problems, somehow, even more petty problems occur all at the same time? Feeling as if you were cursed or something. Well, the thing is, curses are very real. And they’re often wilder than most people are aware of.

There are curses whose nature may feel impersonal. It’s not necessarily the case that some business rival or your horrible monster of a mother has put a spell on you. As a collective, many Humans are actually dealing with generational curses, medieval sorcery, and of course, abhorrent subliminals and hijacker frequencies being blasted constantly into our environments.

Even if nobody in particular has put a spell on you, if you resonate with being a high-vibe spiritual individual, you could be sensitive enough to catch on the negative frequencies streaming all over your environment, or even the world. Lightworkers and Starseeds surely know what’s up because they’re the ones MOST sensitive to these things.

Today is a 5th moon day, and the tarot showing King of Swords in reverse is signifying these spiritual attacks on individuals that are working very hard on themselves to transcend above mediocrity and strive for purity of character. Stay strong in your conviction.

Moon in Libra, with his gentle Venusian aenergy, is sending you lotsa blessings and protection from the mind games perpetuated by the agents of the Matrix. They’re never going to one up you as long as you notice their patterns. I know you’re stronger than you think you are. We’ve got this, OK?!

Priestess of Illumination

words on card: ‘I am sending you Light even now. Shine on, beautiful ones. You are loved.’

m o o n a v i g a t i o n ♥︎

‘In spite of harmful frequencies that seek to destroy my Reality, I maintain my high vibrations. I am a divine child of the abundant Cosmos. By the protection of Mother God and Father God, my Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides, I walk confidently on the path towards greatness, peace, Love and Harmony. I belong here. I have a place here. This Planet that was originally paradise, with my Light I revert it back to its original Glory. Shine on, Gaia. And me~♥︎’

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Main Blog] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[cyarskaren52]

Sent from my iPhone 

LIST

HOW HIGH: THE 25 DOPEST RAP SONGS ABOUT DOPE

Rock The Bells Staff

Published Wed, April 20, 2022 at 12:00 AM EDT

Lotsa people are smoking weed today. Lots. So in honor of those who love to smoke weed, we decided to join the most predictable tradition on the internet and give you a list of stoner songs. 

From Snoop Dogg to Devin The Dude, there are artists whose legacies have become synonymous with making inspired weeded-out classics. Obviously, there's more to guys like Devin and Snoop than marijuana anthems, but they proudly tout their love of the sticky, as do fellow emcees like Redman, B-Real and Curren$y. But there are some classic rap weed songs that come from unexpected places (KRS-One?! Jay-Z?!!) you might not have really ever noticed are definitely weed songs. So yeah, we included a few of those, too.

And sorry—you won't be seeing "Because I Got High" because nobody really smokes to that song, bud...

#26

"BROWN SUGAR" (UMMAH REMIX) - D'ANGELO [BONUS SONG]

Our BONUS SONG pick is a celebrated classic guest spot! Or in THIS case, a dopeass remix from J. Dilla, Q-Tip and Ali Shaheed that sounds even more weeded than the original. 

#25

"MARY JANE" - THA ALKAHOLIKS 

"I can't hold it in/I gotta let it all out." Those words are so appropriate and "Tha Liks" celebrate their favorite girl. Yes, weed-as-a-beautiful-woman is an overused metaphor (you'll see it again on this list) but it's popular because it works. 

#24

"AMERICA'S MOST BLUNTED" - MADVILLAIN

MF DOOM and Madlib deliver a weed anthem that could only come from Madvillain. Their 2004 album is a classic and one of the best tracks is this off-kilter ode to burning.

#23

"BLUEBERRY YUM YUM" - LUDACRIS

It's almost an underrated weed classic, but Luda perfectly captures the joy of smoking the finest weed. Needing snacks from the store, bemoaning how your homies are smoking trash—this is life. 

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#22

"FEELIN' IT" - JAY-Z

The Jigga Man has never really been known for stoned-out rap, and even has stated that he isn't really a smoker; but this standout from REASONABLE DOUBT is a pretty convincing ode to getting high. He acknowledges his conflict ("...look I know I contradicted myself...") in the song itself.

#21

"SMOKE SOME WEED" - ICE CUBE

One of the best tracks on 2006s woefully underrated LAUGH NOW, CRY LATER, Cube gets his smoke on, advocating for that good green while name-dropping famous smokers from George to Bill Clinton. 

#20

"DRO IN THE WIND" - TRICK DADDY FEAT. BIG BOI AND CEE-LO

It's the perfect anthem for not givin' a fuck. This Jazze Pha-produced southern smoke classic captures the vibe of burning one on a warm day, cruising with your homeboys. 

#19

"STILL SMOKIN'" - MYSTIKAL

Who can't relate? Mystikal has always been an underrated storyteller, and here, the Louisiana legend sits you down for a stoned tale about getting stoned. 

#18

"MARY" - CURRENSY

Like Snoop, like Reggie, and like Devin, Currensy has become one of Hip-Hop's most famous advocates for the green. The NOLA emcee is also one of the most prolific on the subject—single-handedly debunking the myth that weed makes you lazy.

#17

"PACK THE PIPE" - THE PHARCYDE

The Pharcyde have always been some of the coolest oddball stoners. And on this epic from their first album, they contrarily advocate for dumping papers altogether in an era where blunts rule. 

#16

"BUDDAH LOVERZ" - BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY

The Cleveland collective got to wade heavily into the "N-Harmony" part of their moniker on this standout from E.1999: ETERNAL. How stoned where they when they recorded this? Very. 

#15

"SMOKE BUDDAH" - REDMAN

OK, so full disclosure: we had the psychedelic funk of "Rockafella" on this list, but--c'mon, yo. This is a Redman weed anthem of the highest order (get it?!) He's one of the most famous and loudest advocates for herbage in Hip-Hop. Nobody does weed rap (especially of the East Coast variety) better than Reggie Noble. 

#14

"BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE" - KENDRICK LAMAR

Kendrick's lush and melodic ode to not letting anyone fuck up your chill. The song is about being in a good space, and substances are definitely mentioned, even though it may not be a "weed song" in the truest sense. It certainly feels like it.

#13

"WE GET HIGH" - DEVIN THE DUDE AND COUGHEE BROTHAZ

Devin has given us so much. When it comes to weed anthems, there's nobody quite like the Texas legend. And this comedic classic with Coughee Brothaz (from 2010's Suite 420—released on April 20 of that year.)

#12

"MAD-IZM" - CHANNEL LIVE FEAT. KRS-ONE

Every "Teacha" you know smokes at least a lil bit. KRS links up with New Jersey duo Channel Live over a hypnotizing loop as the emcees spit lyrics about smoking the finest tree.

#11

"ROLL IT UP, LIGHT IT UP, SMOKE IT UP" - CYPRESS HILL

The legends from East L.A. show up on the soundtrack for the most beloved stoner movie of the 1990s. Of course, Cypress Hill laced Smokey with this weed anthem. OF COURSE.

#10

"MARY JANE" - SCARFACE

Featured on his 1997 album, The UNTOUCHABLE, “Mary Jane” is also one of the best (if not underappreciated) beats in rap. Produced by Face and Mike Dean, Face’s spaced out lyrics about his love for Mary is a weed classic. 

#9

"HANDS ON THE WHEEL" - SCHOOLBOY Q FEAT. A$AP ROCKY

Q and Rocky team up for this Kid Cudi-referencing ode to getting blazed. It just sounds like a hazy night; this right here is bleary-eyed brilliance. 

#8

"XXPLOSIVE" - DR. DRE FEAT. HITTMAN, KURUPT, NATE DOGG AND SIX-TWO

The album was technically the sequel to THE CHRONIC, y'all. The Good Doctor resumed his weed-friendly antics on 1999s 2001 and although "The Next Episode" was a BIG hit, this is the song that makes you want to take a hit. 

#7

"GOOD TIMES (I GET HIGH)" - STYLES P

The LOX rhymer got to kick off his solo career with this classic. One of the 2000s most popular odes to toking up, Styles doesn't give you a laid-back groove, instead he gives you a triumphant weed theme song.

#6

"DOOBIE ASHTRAY" - DEVIN THE DUDE

What Snoop is out West; what Redman is in the East, Devin The Dude is that for the South. Meaning: he's the go-to guy for stoner rap. Devin is a character unto himself and DJ Premier tapped into his Texas roots for this classic.

#5

"HITS FROM THE BONG" - CYPRESS HILL

Over a sample of Dusty Springfield's "Son Of A Preacher Man," B-Real and Sen Dog take smoke straight into tha chest. One of the best stoner tracks ever made. 

#4

"WHATEVA MAN" - REDMAN

Redman makes another appearance, on one of his most popular singles. MUDDY WATERS is a very weed-friendly album from start-to-finish, but this single embodies the spirit of the whole album.

#3

"GIN & JUICE" - SNOOP DOGGY DOGG

Given its title, you'd be forgiven if you labeled this DOGGY STYLE classic a drinking song. But it's NOT, really. At least not totally. Remember, the hook is smoking weed AND getting drunk. Pay attention, people.

#2

"CRUMBLIN' ERB" - OUTKAST

"...only so much time left in this crazy world..." They were barely out of high school when they recorded their debut album, but 'Kast already sounded world-weary. Or maybe they were just really, really stoned.

#1

"I GOT 5 ON IT" - THE LUNIZ

In 1995, there was no more popular song to roll one up to; the smoking anthem from The Luniz made them stars and became a staple of cloudy dorm rooms everywhere. Salute this classic and it's just-as-classic remix.

[trixcuomo]

The Blood Elf Bachelor

Meanwhile at Coco's goblin therapy clinic...

The dashing redhead just had to stroll into my office. Of all the clinics in all of Bilgewater, why did he have to come to see me?

You have to understand, Lord Sunthraze Sunthraze, that is, the double Sunthraze heir, is my step sister's ex and the biggest mistake she ever made. Not because he is slightly an asshole. Not because he's a smartmouth or conceited. Lotsa male elves fall into that sorry golden slop bucket. It's because she missed out on that same swaggering, full-of-himself jackass. He's just as awful as she is, really. They've been repellin' each other, but they honestly need each other so much.

And, as Trixany's savvy Goblin step sista, I have to tell you--Sunthraze is loaded as well. Like, crazy rich Blood Elf loaded! Ever since the Third War, he came into stupid money, like stupid, the Scourge ate the rest of your relatives and half the town, and it's all been passed down to you money. Arthas practically blessed this poor boy on the head with Frostmourne.

Plus, he has the Hawkstrider ranch. Hawkstrider stock has skyrocketed since monohorns went extinct in Quel'thalas, after the conflict.

Only those two refuse to lay down their weapons, their awful personalities, and see sense. She wants fortune and fame, he has at least half that. Y'all could figure out the rest--come on, people!

Put it this way. Their crazy, coocoo bananas marriage would've been the one Haris Pilton Entertainment Corp reality show that should've been made. Entertaining, egregious, endearing, effed up, all the best E words.

"Well! It's so funny seeing you here!" He said, just beaming as he strolled into my office. Three-piece phoenix red suit. Platinum pinky ring. Frilly sleeves. Gilded, two-inch heels on his scarlet riding boots. A Rivendell inspired man-tiara, made by elves not even in this universe. I kid you not.

"Well, I work here. My name's on the side of the building. Goblin Airborne Clinic, 64th Regiment."

"I'd say you're on the directory, near the buzzer to get in."

Ass. I didn't say that, though. "Look, can I help you?"

"What I meant was, I was looking for an um, well... therapist-sort. And here you are! You just happen to be Trixany's best friend, too. Her closest confidant. You two are always together, aren't you? Happy coincidence!"

"I'm her sister."

"You... wait." His eyes glazed over.

Fun to watch him suffer due to his own prejudices. But then I finally nudged him off the hook. "Step sista, by marriage? My goblin father married her Blood Elf mother. That was after we were born. We met as teenagers."

"Hrmm..."

"Hrm?"

"So if. If I were to go through with... I'd be related to goblins."

"Go through with what?"

He sat down and looked half-wild. His eyes were bright, he gripped the chair arms until his knuckles went white.

Then, through clenched teeth, "I've got to do this. I just have to! She's been driving me crazy all these years!"

Do? I started to suspect what. I sighed, handed him a confidentiality agreement that he signed, then I flipped it around and signed it, too. Stamped it, filed it.

"Go on, get it off your chest."

"This year, my new year's resolution is to finally marry your sister!!"

"Ho boy." I had to take that in. It took a while. "She doesn't know? It doesn't work like that; you have to ask her, first."

"I will ask her first in hell! Do you know what she'd do to me if I ever asked her outright? Or attempted to court her in some straightforward fashion? Again?! Oh no, that is just what she wants! To drag me through it. I need a strategy, something I've never tried before. And you're going to help me. I signed the paper, didn't I? And, I paid. At the front desk! I paid a ransom, a king's ransom for your unique consult."

I blinked. I stared.

"Well?"

"May I ask, if you despise dealing with my sista so much, why do you want to marry her?"

"That would take a whole other session to explain but I... Well. We survived a war together, in Outland." He paused, his tone softened, "I think she's lovely. I truly miss her. And, I suppose I hurt her. Or, I hurt her after she hurt me... Anyway, I'd like another chance. A last chance. Even if I have to hogtie her and throw her over the pommel of my Thalassian Charger to make her at least hear me out!" He chewed his nails, looking feral again, "Lady Liadrin also has a spare cell down at the garrison, if need be. I could get the key..."

That went so well till the end there. Blood Knights freak me out, man.

"Look. I will take your money and betray my sista on one condition, cause we could use the ratings... You need to make this the funniest, craziest thing we have eva done here, on Team Trixany."

Sunthraze winked right at the camera, smized straight down the lens. Master fourth-wall breaking bastard that he is. Then he shrugged slightly, relaxed. Began to undo his silk tie, unbutton his shirt collar. "I can uh, make it spicy, too."

I folded my green hands ontop of my desk, "And otha than the ratings, I guess I just want you to take her far, far away from me. At least for a while. I would like a peaceful, drama-free year, myself. A year free of Haris Pilton and Night Elf himbos. I really have been dreaming of it. Maybe it could even become my show after a while. Team Coco! Can you do that?"

Sunthraze was busy flouncing his long, blood-red hair, flirting with the camera.

Eh, I didn't stop him. It's a thousand gold an hour for a goblin airborne consult, and as I said before, this redheaded mook is loaded!

[digicloudm]

Fiesta San Antonio TX 2024

@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF90aXRsZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7ImJlZm9yZSI6IiIsImFmdGVyIjoiIn19@@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9jb21tZW50X2NvdW50Iiwic2V0dGluZ3MiOnsiYmVmb3JlIjoiIiwiYWZ0ZXIiOiIgQ29tbWVudHMgIiwibGlua190b19jb21tZW50c19wYWdlIjoib24ifX0=@Fiesta San Antonio is a great time to visit this great city.  You can enjoy a diverse selection of food and beverages during the festivities.  Some events are free and others have a small entrance fee.  Here is a list of some places to start and be merry around San Antonio, TX.  Source: fiestasanantonio.org

Fiesta Carnival

100 Montana St, San Antonio, TX 78203 5 Tickets for $7 30 Tickets for $35 50 Tickets for $50 Wristband for $30 Event Time: 5 PM – 11 PM This is a great time to visit San Antonio, TX.

Fiesta De Los Reyes

- Supports education via scholarships - Supports local musicians - Supports national talent - Supports culture - Supports the best cuisine in San Antonio - Supports military on Military Monday - Pet Friendly Event Admission to this event is free. April 22, 10:00 am to 12:00pm  Historic Market Square 514 W Commerce St, San Antonio, TX 78207

Air Force Day at the Alamo

Build knowledge of the world’s greatest Air Force Ask questions and learn about what it means to serve in the Air Force Admission to this event is free. April 22, 11:00 am to 12:00 pm Alamo Plaza 300 Alamo Plaza

A Night in Old San Antonio (NIOSA)

NIOSA is the top fundraiser for historic preservation in the United States- living up to its motto as a “Celebration for Preservation”.

 It is solely produced by and benefits The Conservation Society of San Antonio (one of the nation’s oldest and most active historic preservation organizations). “A Night In Old San Antonio” pays homage to the city’s diverse culture with food, music and decor that transforms the village into 14 distinct areas. NIOSA occurs in the heart of downtown San Antonio on the grounds of La Villita Historic Arts Village District, with its four+ acres of historic buildings, cobblestones streets, wall and fountains.  This event will run from April 23rd thru April 26th, 2024.  From 5:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.   Ticket Info: Tickets are $20. Starting March 1, 2024 Tickets will be available online, area H-E-Bs, and other locations TBD NIOSA 2024 will again sell paper coupons for food, drink, souvenirs on the grounds that can be purchased on the NIOSA grounds during the event. All backpacks and any bags larger than 12” x 12” x 6”–including diaper bags–are prohibited. We encourage the use of clear bags so that we can expedite entry into our event

Fiesta Flambeau Parade

- The 2024 Fiesta Flambeau® Parade will celebrate with “Lotsa Loteria” as the parade theme. It is the largest illuminated night parade in the country and the highlight of Fiesta®. The Fiesta Flambeau® Parade continues to light up the streets of downtown San Antonio along the 2.6-mile route and viewed by an estimated 750,000+ spectators and another 1.5 million television audience.   - Flambeau is a French word meaning “burning torch”.   - In 2006, the Fiesta Flambeau® Parade Association, Inc. introduced “Torchy” as its official mascot. Torchy is a year-round parade symbol spreading goodwill and cheer as well as representing the Association’s charitable foundation, he encourages reading, literacy and education by visiting elementary schools.   7:15 PM Vanguard 7:45 PM Main Parade   Ticket Info: Tickets will be on sale starting TBA Bleacher seat tickets will be sold online- www.flambeau.org. Please check our Facebook page- Fiesta Flambeau Parade   Fiesta Flambeau does not sell street chairs All ticket sales will be final- No Refunds. Chair seats are available through the Fiesta Commission street chair vendors.

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[hypnagogics]

10:15 Saturday Night

READ THIS FIRST! 🇵🇸

☆: this one-shot is based on this little imagine/idea thing y'all really liked! ellie coming into your bedroom after throwing rocks at your window, that famed rom-com trope. i love making titles from songs so here’s this one. linking it because i despise the way the audio embed thing looks, that shit’s so ugly- have nothing else to say except this was meant to be only fluffy, but i got a little carried away at the end (and sub!ellie turns me into a rabid raccoon so) 😇 smut is embarrassing af to write i better get over that lmao but anyway, hope you enjoy!

♧: 5k word count

◇: SMUT!! porn w/ plot, but it's sweet. lotsa fluff too, modern au, established relationship, reader feels gloomy in the beginning, mentions of unspecified argument, dorky ellie saves the day, mentions of being irritated at family, mututal teasing back n forth, ellie’s lowk annoying LMAO. kinda mean reader (but in a hot way), lazy/rushed intro bc i’m impatient. cuddling → starts out as top!ellie but oops! a dash of nipple play, a little fighting for dominance ending in sub!ellie & dom!reader, fingering (e! and r! receiving), oral (e! receiving), risky sex. she's a whimperer folks- lawd i needa ruin her….this is very self indulgent, in case you couldn’t tell. lmk if i forgot anything!)

Waiting for the telephone to ring, and I’m wondering where she's been. And I'm crying for yesterday, and the tap drips. Drip, drip, drip, drip….

Robert Smith’s vocals rang through the room as you spun around in your chair, round and round and round until you got dizzy, your brain being jostled around in your skull as if you were on a rollercoaster. Gaming chairs, powerful things they were. You were lost in thought, pondering the state of the world and your life, because you had nothing better to do other than wallow in your miseries. 

Everything was going downhill, or that’s certainly what it felt like currently. You hated every single one of your responsibilities and life was generally not being kind to you. But most of all, you hated disagreeing with your girlfriend. Ellie could get a little feisty when things didn't go exactly her way, and you loved that fighter quality about her, but maybe not when it was used in your disagreements with her. This particular day her spunky attitude was getting on your nerves, and both of you had gotten a little irritated with each other.

You knew that neither one of you meant anything you said in the heat of the moment, you just had occasional squabbles like everyone else. However this time, today’s words hit you a little harder. Not to mention it was spring break and so for the time being you’d gone back home to spend time with your family. Ellie had done the same. You were very grateful the two of you grew up close to each other, only started your relationship years after initially meeting. You enjoyed reminiscing about the budding moments, adored looking back on the good ole days. 

The source of today’s irritation could have been a myriad of things. Maybe you’d had another little fight with your family members, had a lot of assignments due after the break was over, and the weather was generally horribly ugly. Gray, cloudy skies, pouring rain, wind and chilly temperatures, everything was just going swimmingly. When all of that added up it was only natural for people to be a little on edge, and briefly forget the good moments life had to offer, wasn't it?

Picking up your phone, you stared at the sent message to Ellie, just a plain text asking what she’s up to. Even in moments of disagreements where you needed space to get yourself back on track, you would send her little messages as a way to show her, and reassure yourself, that it was only temporary and the two of you would talk it out amazingly and come out even stronger on the other side.

But now you’ve been left on delivered for hours, was she really that busy? Knowing her, it was likely. Her and Joel were probably out fishing or hiking or doing some other fun outdoorsy activity, while you were just left to rot within the confines of your childhood bedroom. Had she not ticked you off earlier you would have asked to come with. Waiting on an answer from her of any kind would only serve to frustrate you even more, so you put your phone away and collapsed into your warm, inviting bed, despite it being way too early to go to sleep. But you didn’t feel like doing much of anything else, so a little shut-eye wouldn’t hurt. 

Within moments you were out like a light. Blissfully relaxing in dreamland, where you were frolicking amongst colorful flower fields and riding on the back of a unicorn into the sunset, dancing with fairies and twirling to your heart's content. Your family dog’s deafening barking was drowned out by you playing the harp with elves and floating endlessly into an abyss of turquoise waters. You were so deep in this wonderful dream, it was healing you in all the right ways you needed right now. Restoring every ounce of energy you lost, fighting against your inner saboteurs so efficiently. You’d simply stay there forever if you could. Until-

Plink, plink, plink. A small, repetitive sound persisted through your slumber, eventually waking you up. Startling awake and switching on your lamp, you stepped out of bed with a groan, stumbling over your steps and rubbing your eyes to get to the window to see what in the world could possibly be happening.

It was raining heavily, and seemed to be hours after you had initially fallen asleep. You squinted through the raindrops coating the pane of glass and down into your yard as an attempt to scout out the noise. Looking down through the blur, you were met with your loving, apologetic girlfriend, her form scurrying around your yard in the dark of night, scavenging your yard for something. Were those pebbles she was throwing at your window? How cliche.

It appeared as if she had found some, standing upright and rearing her arm back in preparation to fling it at the glass, until she saw you and waved. You didn't open the window just yet, and signaled to tell her to scram. What was she doing here at this hour, in this weather? You flapped your arms frantically in every direction, out towards every axis, resulting only in her pouting and shaking her head. You weren't going to get rid of her that easily.

Twisting and turning the knob to open the window with a creak, you lean outside in the drizzle and stage whisper down at her. “Ellie? It's like, I don't even know the time, but it's late. What the fuck are you doing?” The phrases thrown at each other during your earlier squabble flickered through your mind again, but you pushed them aside because the sight of your love always made your heart melt. And she was clearly up to something, so you were going to see it through to the end.

She shouts up at you, “Hey, I wanna say I'm sorry for earlier. I wanna make it up to you so-” She cuts herself off by bending into a kneel, setting down her bag on the wet grass and rummaging through it, pulling out her navy blue ukulele and clearing her throat. You feel yourself blush from the actions, might be from second hand embarrassment, might be because you're touched by the gesture. She begins.

“So, uh, I tried getting my guitar but it was too big to carry all the way here and I don't want it to get wet so, this'll do.” She strums it, gently swaying from side to side, and sings a scuffed rendition of A-ha's Take on Me, her voice shaking slightly and the cheap instrument being significantly out of tune. The rain and distant thunder was drowning her out, but watching patiently was more than fine. You stay at your window, listening to her serenade until the last few lyrics.

Not even realizing it, but once she finishes the performance, your heart is warmed and you're beaming at her. You truly loved her so much, and as much as you wished to, couldn't stay mad at her for any longer. And regardless, standing out in the rain getting soaked to the bone like that was her punishment, in a sense. The moonlight is dancing on her face in a way that makes her eyes twinkle as if they were plucked straight from the cosmos, and she's grinning widely at you. Enchanting as ever.

“Did it work? I love you!” She blows you a kiss, wipes her slicked down hair from her face and shudders violently. “It's really cold down here, can I come up? Please lemme in.” The slight nasally tone in her voice could make you do anything for her, damn, this girl didnt even know how much of a hold she had on you sometimes.

“Fine. Just one sec.” You closed the window on her to take a quick, silent stroll through the halls of your house to make sure every one of your family members was situated in their respective rooms, and unlikely to be disturbed by any ruckus. By the time you made your way back to your own room, Ellie had already perched herself in the big oak tree next to your house. She was crouched at the top of it, gripping onto a branch and peering inside your room, calmly waiting for you to return and so you could give her the “okay” to come in.

She startled you momentarily, looking like a bit of a creep staring into your house like that, but you laughed it off and opened the window fully for her. “Okay, here goes.” Ellie mumbles under her breath and inches forward closer to the edge of your roof. It wasn't a big gap, but there was a sure possibility of injury and it was a risk you didn't want her to take, but Ellie being Ellie, she was going to be reckless and do it anyway.

What if her foot slipped on the wet shingles and she went splat on the ground? Or broke every bone in her body with a crunch…? That wouldn't be pretty. Your stomach flipped with nerves and you grimaced, turning away. “Please don't die.” She didn't respond and instead only focused on completing the jump to your roof with a “hmf”. One step was done, you breathed a sigh of relief and opened one eye.

She was slowly making her way there with both arms outstretched, and as she had almost completed the journey, she tripped. You screeched quietly and turned away again, that was definitely helpful, but bracing yourself for the worst inevitably proved unnecessary when you heard her familiar raspy giggle. She caught herself just in time and was at the windowsill now, appearing winded from the effort and adrenaline.

“Heh, told you I'd be fine.” “Ellie don't scare me like that, just hurry up.” You helped her crawl inside your candle lit room by the arm, and once she was inside only then did you notice how drenched she was from the rain. Just sopping wet, dripping water all over your, thankfully, hardwood floors. The severity of the conditions outside only became even more apparent to you now, poor girl was about to turn into an icicle. It would be mean of you to leave her like this and let her catch a cold, she hasn’t wronged you quite that much. But a part of you was feeling a little playful, a little mischievous perhaps.

“Don't move, I'll find you something warm.” Before you can disappear inside your closet to find her some dry clothes she attacks you in a clumsy embrace, resulting in you being soaked now too. You try to pry her away and feel goosebumps come on as her cold lips connect with your neck, moist smacks as she smooches you all over.

“Let go, Els, c'mon you're gonna get me all wet too.” You lament to her, then regret your choice of words instantly as she pulls away to look at you, wiggle her eyebrows and smirk, to which she comments. “Damn right I am, that's m'goal.”

Whenever she pulls dirty jokes on you your immediate instinct is to burst into laughter, but you clap your hand over your mouth and hiss back at her. “Shhhh we gotta be really quiet, everyone's asleep. I don't feel like getting a talking-to at breakfast in the morning, y'know because ‘their house, their rules’.” You whisper the explanation to her as you roll your eyes and mock your family's words, adding air quotes as well. 

Ellie gives you double thumbs up in response, solemnly swearing to not produce a peep. After rummaging through your drawers, you find a warm pajama set which matches yours and make her put it on while you sneak around to grab her a towel to dry off with too. 

Moments later the two of you are cuddled up in your bed together, entangled in each other's arms, enjoying the quiet company. Just listening to the other’s steady intakes and exhales of oxygen, warm hands caressing over clothes stroking each other's hair, wanting to absorb into the other and assimilate into one being. What a shame that wasn't possible, you thought. 

There wasn't too much of a need to discuss the disagreement in depth, because of the mutual understanding it wasn't anything serious, and ultimately the product of annoying circumstances, which was definitely a huge relief. Shit happens, and you were as glad ever to be entangled in her arms again, although it was worth mentioning in short anyway. You break the silence by whispering into her ear.

“You didn't have to come here Els.” You hear her let out a throaty chuckle, then squeeze your waist tighter. “I felt bad, I know you've been kinda under the weather recently. And wanna say sorry for being annoying earlier.” She murmured into the side of your neck, sending tingles on a path spreading throughout your whole body.

While the the two of you were cuddling in your room keeping conversation faint as can be, she had absent-mindedly began to roam her hands around your body, from the sides of your ribcage, to clutching your waist, to settling on your hips to play with the waistband of your fleece pajama pants. She was placing feather-light kisses on your neck simultaneously, and you found it hard to believe she didn't know what she was doing, but it was definitely working on you, and you frankly found it funny. She really did have a habit of being handsy. Your logical side was screaming how bad of an idea this was, but your horny side…

It was like the angel and devil sitting atop your shoulders, debating the pros and cons. You wondered who was going to win.

Teasingly whispering back to her, “Els, what do you think you’re doing?” Even through her hushed tone, you could hear the smirk dancing upon her pretty pink lips. “Nothin’ much, just feelin’ up my girl.” She finishes the statement with a firm squeeze to your boobs. Subtle. And just like that, the little devil was winning, you could hear their maniacal cackles metaphorically in your mind. 

“Ellie, my fuckin’ parents are asleep in the next room over, do you know how thin these stupid walls are?” “So?” “So??? Do you want me to die knowing they were woken up by their adult, straight-A, accomplished, child sneaking in her girlfriend in the middle of the night, like we’re teenage hooligans in a movie or something?”

You'd put Pinocchio to shame by lying like this, knowing full well having her cuddled up close to you, feeling her strong hands sensually explore every curve and valley on your body, and her wearing some of your favorite pajamas was slowly but surely getting you all worked up. All that in tandem with the risk factor was turning you on much more than you'd care to admit. Unpack that another day. Your face was burning and your heart rate was increasing whether you liked it or not, and your girlfriend was right there…a little messing around wasn't going to hurt anyone, was it? 

Hesitantly giving in, you turn around in bed to face her and wordlessly press a kiss to her lips, shoving down the lingering embarrassment. It surprises her and she doesn't kiss you back right away, instead laughs in your face and cracks more stupid dad jokes, only making you roll your eyes and punch her in the arm. She snickers, “Ha, not so good after all, are ya?”

When you don't throw a snarky remark back at her she takes your face in her bracelet-clad hand, thumb gliding across your bottom lip smoothly. The dim light in your room casts shadows on her face that make her look mystical, and hot as hell. “Wanna make you feel good.” She murmurs, mostly to herself, while scanning your features shamelessly.

You abruptly sit up and she follows, watching you quizzically. You look her up and down a few more times, just for the sake of it, before roughly yanking her towards you by the shirt and slamming your lips onto hers. She responds properly this time, slipping her tongue into your mouth with ease just how you like it, her grabby hands running all over your body, not knowing where to settle.

The kiss is hot and greedy, pure need coursing through your veins. You'd only been apart for a week at most, and it was definitely a week too long. Your own hands find their way up to her auburnette locks as you grab a fistful and pull, coaxing a scarcely audible groan rumble from her throat. You nip and bite down on her neck, stopping when you get to her pulse point where you could feel just how hard her heart was racing, reveling in the tiny pants leaving her lips as she tried so hard to stay as quiet as possible per your request, screwing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth.

She pulls you back up to meet her in a sloppy kiss, maneuvering the two of you so she was on top of you and you were on your back, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs as she places herself between your legs. Her fingers playing with your nipple while the front of her pelvis rammed against your heat was making you desperate for more of her, and quickly.

Her hands slid under your shirt and caressed your skin all over your entire torso, then you stopped her to take your shirt off and throw it to a corner of your room. Ellie wasted no time to place her mouth on your chest, peppering sweet kisses wherever her lips could reach, licking and sucking on your nipples until they hardened, pausing to stare up at you when the sensation made you squirm into her and sigh. “So much for being quiet, huh?” She taunts oh so smugly, thinking she's got to you. 

But her voice fluctuates in pitch as her mind becomes more clouded with arousal, resulting in you getting wetter and wetter. She was going to kill you. Bucking your hips into her in pursuit of some friction, she takes the hint and briskly undoes the bow on your pj pants, and slides her hand in. Her fingers land on the wet spot soaking through your underwear and she prods at it, just to annoy you further.

She really was being purposely insufferable today. You jeer at her, “can you just-” She shuts you up by kissing you again, messily and open-mouthed, swallowing every little sound you made. You pull her closer against you by the waist, and she whimpers. That turned you on even more, if that was even possible, your whole being thrumming with lust, new ideas materializing in your mind. What if you got back at her for being annoying, and in the best way?

The risk factor of having to stay impossibly quiet only added more fuel to the fire, and now you wanted to challenge it as much as you could. You snake your hand down her body and palm her pussy over her clothes and you swore you could feel her clench as soon as you made contact.

She lowers her head to your shoulder and her hand in your pants stops moving, you've officially broken this girl with one lazy touch. “Hmm?” You hum, feigning foolishness as if nothing was deliberate. “Seems you're the needy one here, Els.” Cooing at her in a low voice, her uneven breathing fills your ear. The way she'd planted herself on top of you made the task difficult but not impossible, and you shimmied your hand to her boxers, feeling up the wet spot that was surely triple the size of yours. Not cracking jokes now, is she?

And voila, you knew what your next moves were going to be. Your only goal was to have some fun with her now, just because you could. You began to rub your fingers up and down her slit, the thin fabric catching her clit perfectly making her breath hitch as she tries to suppress whines. “Hey, that's not…fair.” Ellie attempts to regain composure over herself and talks back through gasps, but you don't cease what you're doing. Breaking her was too good.

She fights back by copying your motions, her shaky hand rubbing your pussy at a messy rhythm, up and down, side to side, really not accomplishing much because eventually you win, and she removes her hand from you and presses her body against yours, clutching your waist for dear life and shoving her head in the crook of your neck to stabilize herself. 

Her whimpers and tiny moans were music to your ears, egging you on to do more. Moving the fabric aside, you slide a finger inside her needy, drenched hole, slick dripping down your knuckles as you find her spongy spot and curl your fingers against it. She hisses on top of you, clearly you were doing something right. 

Inserting another one, you could feel her walls clench and gush around your digits, as you ruthlessly pressed against her g-spot, the heel of your palm bumping against her sensitive clit, eliciting harsher whines from her, muffled by your shoulder. 

After a short few moments, you could tell she was about to cum by the way her pussy walls fluttered, and whimpers increased in desperation, sugary, dulcet “ah- haah"s escaping from her lips. 

“Gettin close, Els?” Your voice was supple as honey, you were enjoying this too much. She gulps and nods her head, “yeah..hn..please.”

Not so fast. “Hm, okay.” Replying in a cheery tone, as cheery as you can be while whispering that is, you stop all you're doing and tap her on the back. She puffs and sniffles, her voice small and trembling. “What'd you do that for?” 

She was too cute like this, you chuckled at her pathetic attempts to rut against you to get that release, and grunt in annoyance. 

“Patience.” “Whatever.” She grumbled. “Lay down.” You order her gently, and stroke her hair. Of course she obeys, she needed this too much. 

With shaky arms Ellie lifts herself off of you, pouting down at you then plopping herself down beside you in the bed. 

Switching places, you stare down at her fondly, wanting to make her feel good properly now. She deserved it after all that. You bend to kiss her forehead, which makes her blush go from rosy to crimson to maroon, her freckles blending in with her cheeks, and she bites her bottom lip while avoiding your gaze. Her expression was simply adorable, all flushed and fucked out already, all for you.

You grope at her chest, making her whine and scrunch her face up. “Need you, please.” She asks, so nicely, her normally confident voice breaking. Of course you'll give her what she wants.

You decide she's waited plenty enough, and tug her boxers and pajama bottoms off in one swift motion, discard them in the same corner of your room your shirt is currently residing, and get to work. 

Wasting not a second more, you rapidly shove your face in her pussy, latching onto her clit and sucking with fervor. Taking her in your mouth, grazing with the tips of your teeth ever so gently. She squirms beneath you, her knuckles turning white from how hard she's gripping the sheets on either side of her. 

Losing yourself in her, nipping and sucking and licking to your heart's content, humming at her taste and purring praises into her, “pretty, pretty pussy” the vibrations from your low voice reverberating through her only making everything more intense. One particularly forceful knock of the tip of your nose to her clit makes her squeal and close her thighs around your head, unfortunately that was much louder than preferable.

Both of you freeze, chests heaving up and down, staring dazed and wide-eyed at the other, and listen through the walls to see if it caused any disturbance, and you shoot a glare at her once confirming it was unnoticed by anyone in your otherwise silent house. Not a rustle was heard, thank goodness. You exhale through a whistle, then warn through your teeth, “One more sound and I'm pushing you right out that window, got it?” 

It came out meaner than you'd meant it to, but she accepts and nods meekly, responding in a wobbly voice, “M'sorry, can't help it.” You relax and press kisses on the soft flesh of her inner thighs, before resuming just as before.

You continue devouring her, her toned abs flexing and caving in beautifully, the light slurping and squelching sounds filling the room, all while holding her hips in place, fingers pressing into the shape of her muscles while she arches her back above you and her fist flies to grab onto your hair, with deathly strength. A symphony of choked “guh- uh” left her throat while you lapped up her slippery fluids, sensing her body twitch as her orgasm began to build. She didn't even have to tell you, you knew her body like you knew your own at this point.

Curling your fingers in her once more, tongue never halting its circles around her pulsing bud and a final thrust to her g-spot was enough to push her off the edge, finally.

The rush ripples through her as her whole body seizes and tenses up, she's creaming around your hard-at-work fingers, and you help her ride out the high by licking gently and weakening the pressure until she pushes your head away because it was getting too much. All that with no sound louder than a mere squeak and string of whispers resembling your name and a colorful array of profanities, she had bitten down on her hand so hard her canines had left dents, but otherwise looked so content and at peace. Gasps lessening and breathing steadying to the pace before, a faint smile on her pretty face, and her eyes lazily closed. 

Seeing her all satisfied and happy in turn made you happy, and you cuddled on top of her, laying your head on her chest. Her heartbeat was going at such a fast and frantic pace, you loved hearing it slow back to normal. 

Adjusting yourself made her wince, still so sensitive from all you did. “Sorry Els. Did so good.” You mumble and lean up to peck the side of her neck as she drapes her arms around your back and rubs in circles, calming the both of you.

She hums contentedly. “Love you.” “Love you too Els.” 

You didn't even care about cleaning up or moving or anything of the sort, because being close to her was all that mattered. The last thing she said before falling asleep and kissing you on the top of the head was, “To the moon and back.” And you fell asleep immediately after her, feeling loved and comforted just like whenever you spent time with her, your girlfriend's ideas always turned out well after all.

Now as for the morning, that was a problem for future you to deal with. Were your parents going to barge in your room and throw her out, or was it going to be an awkward conversation? Who cares? Now it was only time to drift off to dreamland together, hand in hand.

And that you did. You disappeared from this reality and into an ethereal dream world just like earlier, only she was there with you. It was eternally euphoric, the two lovers delightfully singing duets with the fairies, skipping into the horizon and climbing up the arcs of glittery rainbows, it was more than you ever hoped for. As if there never was any disagreement to begin with, all issues were solved when you were together with her, your other half.

Now this dream you really wanted to stay in forever, but since that wasn't possible, you vowed to savor and appreciate it, and her, to the fullest.

lol someone sedate meeeeeee. idk how to end these. pikmin :3 IKKK THE ENDING IS RUSHED TOO AAAA whateva.

[pokkomi]

✦ sfw alphabet - kurona ranze

gn!reader, fluff, lotsa hc :3, 1.7k wc

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

pretty affectionate. he would definitely be a little shy around you at first, but once he’s comfortable around you, he wouldn’t hesitate to give you a hug or a kiss on your cheek!

his love language is acts of service + words of affirmation. he’s definitely the gentlemanly type, holding doors open for you and carrying your shopping bags or simply helping you wash the dishes. kurona probably can’t go a day without saying ‘i love you’ at least 3 times. he wants you to know how important you are to him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

would be the type to always help you out. struggling with your homework? he’s got you. kurona definitely carries some kind of snack with him everywhere, and after meeting you, he always brings an extra. i feel like he would also give out great advices as a friend. possibly biased towards you, but still logical and rational.

i would imagine the friendship starting out as classmates, eventually warming up to each other after a class project. definitely super quiet, having you initiate all the conversations.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he’s a fan of physical touch. would never refuse an offer from you, but would be a bit shy to initiate it.

kurona’s not very tall, standing at 1.68m. i think he wouldn’t mind being the big spoon or the small spoon. as long as he’s with you, it’s all perfect. he likes being intimate with you, so i think positions he’d enjoy are: leg hug, embrace, head on lap, and half-spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

kurona doesn’t strike me as the type to date for fun. i think that every relationship he gets into are definitely looking to last.

not messy, but not a tidy freak. kurona’s room is definitely organized, with a few clothing items scattered on his bed/the back of his chair. probably cleans to relieve stress. when he’s feeling nervous or just bored, he’d probably tidy the house a bit.

can cook. whether if it’s edible is another question. probably burned water while trying to make instant cup noodles💀. when you come over to his place, he either makes instant noodles or attempts to find snacks lying around LMAO.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

i think kurona would break up with you in person. maybe ask you to meet up somewhere and tell you its just not working out. he tries to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to hurt your feelings more than necessary.

probably would pull the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line💀.

unless it’s something seriously wrong like cheating, i think he would want to end it on a good note. maybe even go back to being friends if it’s mild.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

committed to you since day 1!!! i don’t think he’d accept a relationship out of pity or for fun, so if you guys are dating, he is serious about it.

if your relationship started in your school years, then maybe he’d bring up marriage in your mid 20s. if the relationship started in your early 20s, he might propose in your late 20s or early 30s.

tldr he def wants to get married and would pop he question in around 5~7 years.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

gentle all the way; both physically and emotionally

always careful around you, not wanting to accidentally hurt you 3:

i think he’s one of the very few bllk characters thats mentally and emotionally stable💀

wouldn’t let his emotions take the best of him, but when it comes to you he can’t help it :3

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

kurona love love LOVES hugs. it’s one of his main ways of expressing his love for you.

he hugs you a LOT. just came home from school? how about a hug to replenish your energy!

if its casual, he’ll sneak a back hug as soon as your back is turned to him. he enjoys nuzzling against your neck while doing so! if you two haven’t seen each other in a long time, the hugs are definitely gonna be long and warm.

probably also nibbles on your skin while hugging!!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

pretty average timing i would say.

even when you guys were still friends, he often reassured you that he loves you.

he likes to show you subtle displays of affection, and words of affirmations are one of them.

during your relationship, kurona makes sure to say these words to you at least 5 times per day!

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

not a very jealous person. he trusts that you know your own boundaries. Although even then, he gets a little snippy whenever some dude comes too close. when that happens, he usually frowns or bares his teeth a little and the npc just scurries away LMAO.

would still be a little upset afterwards and asks you for hugs and kisses!!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

kurona’s kisses are soft, maybe a little nibble here and there, but he always make sure to be gentle with you

he likes to kiss you on your cheeks and lips, munches on your cheeks sometimes

neck too if you’re both up for it!! i think he’d like to kiss your shoulder from behind as well ( ´ ꒳ ` )

i think he’d enjoy nose and forehead kisses, especially when you cup your hands on his cheeks while doing so :3

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

pretty used hc but kids are scared of him because of his predator-like teeth

but when they get used to it, the kids warm up to him pretty quickly

as for kurona, i think he would like quiet children. would feel overwhelmed with an over energetic child

probably wouldn’t know what to do with a child to be honest

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

kurona is NOT a morning person at all. if you’re a morning person, he’d probably try his best to wake up earlier to spend more time with you

but if you’re not a morning person either, you would probably spend a good hour in each others arms after waking up

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

super relaxing and calming

if neither of you are talkative people, you’d simply enjoy each other’s presence in bed

kurona would be the type of person who happily listens to you ramble about anything and eventually drift into sleep to your gentle voice

would video / voice call you if you aren’t living together. falls asleep with his camera on pretty often. if you fall asleep first, he’d watch you sleep for a few minutes and then hang up

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think it would take a while for him to open up

there’s not really much for him to tell, but deep dark secrets would take an immense amount of trust to tell

would start off with telling you about his family and what he likes, but that’s it.

probably scared that you’ll think he’s weird if he told you about childhood incidents

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

i would think that he’s a very patient person. wouldn’t get angry unless someone close to him gets hurt by another person

when someones being rude or nasty, he just ignores them

when he gets angry, you can probably see steam shooting out of his ears LMAO

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

would definitely remember important dates like anniversaries and birthdays, but he sometimes forgets things like your favourite order from your favourite restaurant

he strikes me as a person that remembers small details like you always packing candies in your bag before going out or how you always put on lip balm at night to avoid crusty lips in the morning

but he forgets obvious things a lot, like your favourite artist or your favourite manga 3:

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

birthdays!! whether it’s yours or his, he would love to spend your special day together. prepares very thoroughly beforehand to surprise you :3

probably the first date as well. always get shy whenever he reminisces the memory!!

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

not SUPER protective. he trusts that you can remove yourself from harmful situations. but he still makes sure that you’re all prepared before going out.

if you got hit on by a dude, he would definitely step in and make it clear that you’re taken. holds your hand during the process.

i think kurona would like to be protected as well, it makes him feel reassured that you care for him.

maybe swoop him to safety like superman :3

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

for dates, anniversaries, and gifts, kurona would be very thoughtful in picking the best scenario for you. he wants to make sure that every gift he gives are meaningful! each anniversary with him is romantic and different. probably spent weeks prior planning out everything so you’d like it. i think that for dates, kurona is more simple and casual. still puts in effort so both of you can have a good time but just not as much. after all, your dates can range from crashing at each other’s places to a whole ass day trip exploring the city.

for menial tasks such as housework, kurona would be very careful and attentive. make sures that your living area is dust-free after a deep clean.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he chews on his nails a lot, especially when he’s nervous or stressed. tries not to do it as much ever since you pointed out that his nails were a lil crusty.

also forgets things a lot.

"have you seen my water bottle?? i can't find it"

"ranze, you put it in your backpack like 5 minutes ago"

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

not super concerned. he doesn’t think he’s super good looking or anything but he make sures that he’s dressed up before he meets you everytime.

takes the time to do his braids to look the best for you!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes and no

i don’t think kurona views a relationship as something that makes him complete.

if you never went out with him, he wouldn’t have known what it would’ve been like.

but now that you’re by his side, kurona would say that he’d prefer it if you stay with him for the rest of your lives.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

doesn’t really like vegetables so whenever theres something he doesn’t like in his plate, such as green peppers, he’d pass it on to yours.

the green pepper theory :3

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

distrustful + insecure people!! he wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s constantly insecure about your relationship. if you’re always asking him where he’s going or who he’ll be with, he’ll get uncomfortable quickly. also doesn’t like being doubted. if you interrogate him after he goes out alone/with friends, he’ll lose his patience with you.

unkind words + refusing physical affection. if you constantly berate him, he’ll get hurt easily. also doesn’t like it when you refuse his touch for long periods of time.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

probably drools in his sleep😭. mouth wide open LMAO. snores a tiny bit, super quiet.

this might just be me but i feel like he often wakes up at night to get a drink :3