#lots of mentions of blood

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[mugiwara-lucy]

Kamala will make the FUNNIEST president in all of American history 😂

[tawnysoup]

CW DEATH, DEAD BODY, STRANGULATION, BLOOD, IMPLIED SELF-HARM (in case my tags aren't enough!!!! stay safe)

(Above you, you hear Loop trying to take a breath.)

[amelia-yap]

internal screeching

[daily-airimomoi-vitamins]

[uagh, my head]

[...]

[my...head?]

[....mine...my....I...me]

[...]

[Your head hurts, it's pounding. You very slightly open your eyes and]

[oh]

[there's blood.]

[you're lying in a pool of blood. Some of it is on your head...drip drip dripping down your face.]

[some of it isn't yours]

[you're just barely able to lift yourself off the ground. It smells terrible. Like an awful concoction of flesh and sanitary alcohol. The ground...it's colder than before. This is not the same floor as the one you fell on.]

[you...recognize this place. It's in worse condition but...yes...yes you remember]

[I... remember]

[that girl. In the back. This is where you found her before-]

[oh god. The blood and her memory. You hated the implications.]

[that corner, where she sat. She seemed so lonely...The thought of her tired eyes and small composure...]

[...that corner, a machine. It's blade doused in blood. It hasn't been cleaned]

[....a meat grinder?]

[your eyes widened at the thought. You quickly covered your mouth and shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the disgusting thought...]

[..Finally, you arise. Your legs are shaky, your head and hair damp with blood and cold sweat. What the hell are you doing here? How did you get here..?]

[you recollect what happened....Did she hit you over the head, or did you pass out? Perhaps, your head hit the floor too hard. Whatever it was, it didn't matter now. Now, your priority was to get ou-]

You're awake.

[..the pharmacist. She looked so oddly bleak. So...empty]

Took you long enough..he..haha...

[ah, that smile. But it just wasn't the same. Her eyes were narrowed, her arms in her coat pocket. She continued to chuckle]

Haha...heha....you really...really couldn't let this go, huh?

"..."

"..What did you to her."

hmph...I thought I told you before. She's dead...you know, I hate repeating myself. It's so fucking annoying. I fucking hate it.

Yeah, sure, I've kinda enjoyed all this. But do you know how much of an annoying little brat you are..? For fucks sake, and to think...I wanted to help you.

"H-help..?"

"are you being serious right now?! Help?! Since when has what you're doing been help!?"

...hm. I don't think I want to answer that.

[She moved off the wall, and starting to circle around you. You felt trapped]

"No-No that's not how it works. You've ruined my li-"

What life?

[She turned her head to you, inching closer]

What sort of life have you lived? What life are you remembering, hm? You don't have a life, not anymore. You're life isn't yours. Both of us. We do not live, we don't have lives.

mm...haha...

[She turned to the machine, putting her finger inside and swiping the blood off of the blades. She put her thumb in her mouth, wiping her mouth]

This life, wasn't alive either.

[You felt physically sick. You were fighting the urge to throw up, right there and then. You're fists clenched]

[You had so many questions....]

[Your eyes drifted towards the machine, a shiver down your spine following along. You swiftly looked behind you towards the corner of the room, thinking of that girl]

[reginalusus]

Ah yes. When the protective dad-figure beats up the son-figure's past tormentor only for said tormentor to make a point(?), because the tormentor is the catalyst of Gotham's chaos, and seeing two pieces of the debris from said chaos come together to try and be less broken is amusing. The butt of Gotham's joke, if you will.

I just felt like illustrating a scene from a possible future Harvey-Jason-centered fic...

[techn0tony]

I present to you: Donnie's design from my Future AU (that still does not have a name-)

Okay so a few things I should mention:

It's hard to see these details, but he has a robotic hand and eye (and one of his legs as well)

He is so fucking tall, he is taller than Leo even (but shorter than Raph of course). And yes he does tease Leo about it

He is the second brother to die, but I haven't decided his cause of death yet

There is a lore reason for places on his skin being blue, but it would be spoilers for my Separated AU if I told the reason x.x

This is the same Donnie from my Separated AU, my AU's are connected

EDIT MONTHS LATER LMAO:

Augh okay so actually I updated this recently: He does not die after Raph anymore, now Donnie is the first brother who dies

And the AU has a name now! It's the Genius Built AU

[aka-indulgence]

So... me and @llamagoddessofficial have been cooking up an au for a while... let me show you our hmf!Sans :> (Horror Mafiafell Sans)

You're a waitress working at a bar/restaurant, and a certain skeleton has been coming back again and again. You can't help but wonder... why?

---

“He’s all yours, babe.”

You look up from notes on the wall. You’d like to ask ‘who?’ but both you and Lisa know there was no use. You already knew who it was. You didn’t even have to look out the circular window to check. You just stare at Lisa helplessly.

“Really?” You try, “can’t you just… a bit longer?”

Your words come out a perfect mess. Lisa understands anyway.

“Look… I don’t know how to tell you this (Y/n),” She puts a hand on her hip, “you know I can’t go back out there to him.”

“But…!”

You bite your lip. You know she’s telling the truth. You wish you could tell her to suck it up and go back there, no matter how scared she was but… you’re not taking chances with the current patron sitting in the corner of the bar. No one would.

For Lisa’s… and everyone’s sake, you’re not going to see what he might do if you sent her out to tell him that you won’t be serving him tonight.

You sigh, and take a peek through the window. Though elusive nowadays, it was unmistakable who the man- the skeleton in question was.

Sans was built like a tank, his form hunched over the table. Even sitting on the wide, plush red sofa, he looked like a giant, dwarfing the table and chairs like they were playsets. Monsters were already bigger than humans in general but him… he grew bigger than he used to- at least from what you’ve heard. Not like you knew the mob boss years and years ago before he got his infamous skull injury, and the blown eye in his left socket that was soaked in the blood of those who had crossed him. His mouth was set in a frown, filled with razor sharp teeth- one of which was golden.

The same scary face you saw shrouded in shadows in the alleyway, a sharp bone gripped in his large hand, dripping red.

You fled that night, not quite believing what you’d saw. That you’d just saw a skeleton kill a guy in the back of the restaurant? That it was the mob boss Sans?! He didn’t chase you then, and you hoped that’d be the end of it but then… he showed up to the bar as a patron one night.

You were almost certain then, that he had come to kill you. Especially when your dear friend Lisa had so helpfully told you that he’d asked for you in particular.

“her…” his bony finger had pointed at you. She DID tried to save you, to err on mistake- which one did you mean sir?

But every time you moved, his phalange followed. There was no mistaking who he was asking for.

You remember her panicked voice.

“He asked for you! Specifically!”

“W… huh? Why’d he ask for me? Can… are you sure-”

“YES! And I don’t know WHY!”

As reluctant as you were, you still went to serve him. You asked for his order while your grip on your pencil and notepad got slippery as your palms got sweaty. He took his time ordering, perusing through the menu with great attention, while you were praying that your legs didn’t looks as shaky as they felt. You’d never rush him, of course, even if you hadn’t seen him towering over a dead body.

You took his order, served it (stuttering), and… then he left.

… And came back. Again, and again. Every time, he’d ask for you to serve him. He always stares when you weren’t at his table (and actually, when you were at his table too). You could feel that red eye staring a hole into your back from behind. It was unnerving.

It’s a wonder why a man of his infamy would choose a bar like this. You’ve seen your fair share of criminals in this job- it was an alright-sized bar, and not exactly in the best place in town. You’ve learnt to turn the other cheek whenever they were around (and you were sure you didn’t realize just how many of the patrons were gangsters), pretend you were blind to their… occupation.

None of them had been as scary as Sans, though. In fact, his presence alone was enough to drive away most petty criminals.

This place was nothing special. It’s a wonder why he’d choose this place out of all places, especially for a guy who doesn’t like being seen much.

… Ok, that was a lie. Everyone working knew that he was here for you. But that didn’t explain the why.

It was clear to you now that he wasn’t coming here to kill you for witnessing… what you witnessed (Why was a man like Sans doing in that nothing alleyway anyway?). But if not for that then… why did he keep coming, to keep asking for you? Maybe he had… business around here and he liked the place enough to keep coming?

Whatever it was, he was here for a reason and you just… don’t get it.

You don’t get why he wants you to be the one serving him every time he was around, but you did anyway. It’s been a couple of nights now, but you can’t say you’ve become less nervous over time.

After a small inner pep talk to yourself and wringing your hands, you push open the door, walking into the dining area. There isn’t a lot of people inside, a common occurrence whenever Sans visited. Even if it had been busy before, some people would hurriedly finish up whatever they were doing, paying all at once and leaving. You’ve even seen someone stop before finishing their meal. The rest that stayed sat uncomfortably, trying their best to ignore the menacing air that the skeleton brought with him everywhere he’d go.

It didn’t work, of course. A presence like that wasn’t you could easily ignore.

(You wish you could ignore him.)

You smile awkwardly as you walk to his table, setting his drink down. At least you had a little bit of your work cut out for you, with Lisa taking his drink order. His eye zeroed in on you as soon as he noticed you, and though you’ve been taught it’s rude to not make eye contact, with him it felt like looking him in the eye would be the wrong thing to do.

“Is there anything else you’d like?” you ask, your voice sweet and soft as ever, hiding the sound of your beating heart.

He stares.

He always stares.

You see his pupil dilate a little, then he opens his mouth.

“want…”

Sans was a man of few words. He only said his order, and nothing else. It kept your meetings with him brief- even when it looked like he wanted to say something else, he wouldn’t.

This time, he spaces off for a moment, eye looking away from you. You watch his brows draw together, pinched as he concentrates on a thought. You wish you knew what he was thinking of, especially when his frown starts to peel back into a snarl, like he was angry.

You definitely weren’t expecting a hand around your waist, snatching you a second later.

You squeaked, notepad and pencil clattering to the floor, bumping against his sturdy chest. Everyone heard and turned to look, and as soon as they saw tiny you, sitting on the giant’s lap, practically all of them pointedly turned away. You wish they were still looking now- you were pleading with your eyes, help me I don’t think I’m supposed to be here!

He pushes you here and there, so that you’re sat more comfortably on his lap. Your mind goes blank, your body freezes. You could feel his chest expanding and contracting as he breathes. He sounds much calmer now that you were on his lap. Your breaths are shallow, and stop completely when you feel one arm wrap around your middle, like a restraint. His free hand raises, calling for Lisa, who you’ve just noticed is watching from the corner, clutching her apron, as clueless as you are. She approaches, trying to keep her eyes on the skeleton instead of you.

“... burgers.” he says, simply. She nods, and gives you a glance.

You furrow your brows, and you want to hiss Lisa help me! But as soon as she sees your expression she turns around, avoiding eye contact. You could almost hear her say sorry babe, can’t help you there!

You almost call out to her when a hand lands on your head. You go stiff, and after you take a quick peek at him, you look straight ahead. The monster’s phalanges start petting you, slowly, sinking into your hair, scratching your scalp. Sans let’s out a long breath, brushing your hair. A shiver runs down your neck.

… Well. I think I’ll be here for a while…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting on the lap of a giant skeleton was certainly an experience. You tried distracting yourself, but it was impossible when you could feel every time Sans breathed. There was nothing you could do but sit there, playing with your apron until it was a crumpled mess, sweating a puddle onto your uniform… and maybe onto Sans’ expensive suit. You couldn’t relax, even though taking away big scary skeleton aside, he was comfortable to sit on, and he was warm… and smelled of rain and embers of a dying cigar.

He ate carefully, always leaning forward (squishing you against his chest) when he took a bite of his burger, making sure the crumbs wouldn’t fall on the top of your head, wiping his hands and his mouth before he leaned back. You could feel him sighing, and since he was the only thing you could notice, it felt like this was the most relaxed he’s ever been while in the bar, his breathing slow. Apparently he really liked your hair, with how his claws kept carding through it, even while he was eating. When his hands were clean, he’d let his hands wander all over you- but nothing untoward. You could feel him tilting his skull forward to look at you, while he thumbed your cheek, and his other hand roamed around your waist and belly. Though you were nervous, you could feel when he rubbed your thigh that it didn’t feel particularly… heated.

He sighs, and you feel the pressure of his skull on the top of your head. It took everything in you not to hunch over and avoid it. You screw your eyes shut when you feel him turn his skull, and it felt like he was… rubbing his cheek on you? Like he was snuggling you? Is… is that what he’s doing?

You’re not sure and your nerves are too frayed to call it that.

He didn’t stop after he finished either, his plate clean. He was still there- and subsequently, you stayed sitting on his lap- even after they closed the bar. It was just him now. Your coworkers kept the lights on just for him, and even most of them have gone.

He’s leaning back on the cushions, and he brought both his arms around you to pull you plush against his chest, almost tucked into his neck. You wondered if this was what a teddy bear would feel like, being hugged.

The bartender was cleaning up in the kitchen. It was just you and him in the dining area.

You swallowed… wondering what he wants to do. It’s past closing, late at night, just the two of you, and his hands were still (gently) rubbing you. They haven’t gone anywhere private but- what if he wanted to? … What if he wasn’t here to kill you but.. wanted you to… you don’t know, service him or something? Did he have unsavory requests for you?

You think that thought might’ve scared you even more than the thought of him killing you.

You startle when he grunts eventually, like he’s addressing you. A giant hand cups your cheeks and against your will they turn pink. Even though you were frightened, even if his touches were unsexual they still felt… intimate.

You squeak for the second time that night when both his hands pick you up, and sets you down on the sofa. You feel a ball form in your throat when he stands up and turns to you, thoughts running with all sorts of ‘what-ifs’. He takes your hand, opening it up, and then…

And then he places a thick wad of cash in it.

“... thank you.” He says, quiet.

You stare at the stack of paper on top of your hand, blinking once, before turning to the skeleton, jumping in your seat.

He was gone, just like that.

He was always quiet, wasn’t he?

You sit there dumbfounded, for what felt like minutes, your lips parted, money still sitting innocently in your hand. You think no one can blame you when the only thing you said after you sat there in silence was a very emphatic “... Huh?”

[ryuichifoxe]

This is legit the most I've drawn in over a month and I had to get it out of my system before I set about finishing comms :')

[earthbovndmisfit]

jonawagons marcianitos 🌌🛸💕

(og base/reference by @/lilalienz4ever on twt!!)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

about that one lan qiren & jin guangshan art: .....does that mean wen ruohan has both or is he as flat as a board on the opposite? XD

Mans so flat they rotated him 90 degrees and he disappeared from the narrative.

[r00beer]

david doodles because i need to figure out how to draw him >_<

[woahbeans]

[lizzylucky]

Draxum hadn't accounted for the fact that when he gave four hatchling turtles the DNA of a human being in order to give them greater intelligence, he would effectively be making himself a surrogate father to actual children, with wildly different needs.

When he sent his gargoyles to obtain a sample of DNA from Big Mama's prized warrior, the intention was to create his own. They were to be the prototypes for an army of simple creatures with just enough heightened intelligence to learn combat and follow commands, that he might defend Yokai kind with.

Instead, he quickly discovered the integration of human DNA had been a little over successful in allowing his test subjects to learn and think and feel in a civilized manner, going so far as to override some of their natural instincts as turtles that would otherwise allow them to learn to care for themselves. He had to feed them, by hand, with bottles.

Like infants.

They were easily distraught by unfamiliar things, and quickly became dependent on Draxum in every sense of the word. They babbled, they cried, they explored things with their hands, their tails, their mouths.

It was an unplanned adjustment needed to be made, but no matter. If anything, learning to understand the new hybrid emotions of these turtles would allow Draxum greater advantages when they grew enough to safely learn combat. Preferences, likes and dislikes, needs, diet, and so on, all became more complex areas of study.

Even a couple years in, he found himself continually surprised. Brain scans had shown that the turtles were more intelligent, still, than anticipated. They, truly, seemed more human in mind and function than anything else, with only some base instincts and behaviors left to influence their personalities. They retained many reptilian traits, but overall had the bipedal anatomy and function of humans and some Yokai. It had been an infuriating discovery at first, but Draxum had to admit that over time he became fond of it.

Each turtle had developed his own personality. The eldest, for example, had a love of plush toys, and showed a fierce protective instinct over the others. The youngest, Draxum had learned, was contrastedly reckless and excitable, not nearly so reserved or gentle as the first. Additionally, he was, decidedly, to be kept away from any and every writing utensil unless under strict supervision (unfortunately, this was learned a little too late, as was evidenced by the clear markings left in several work benches). Then, of course, were the slider and the softshell, who had the most bizarre relationship. They were constantly fighting with each other, but utterly inseparable, and each showed an incredible and unique curiosity, constantly exploring and watching and studying, with concentration filling their eyes in ways Draxum had never seen in other children so young.

Embarrassingly, it took another couple years before Draxum realized he couldn't simply refer to them by their species' names. It certainly was effective, but they were not the mild, simple creatures he had once expected them to be, and he knew that they never would.

Now, they were vocal, playful, inquisitive... energetic. By the gods, were they energetic. They never stopped moving, never stopped talking, never stopped eating, never stopped wanting or needing.

...This is why Draxum never had children of his own. It took all the time and energy he had to spare, and then some. Although it would be a lie to say he wished they were any other way.

They had so much capacity to learn, and with their emotional propensity could one day come to understand exactly why Draxum was doing this, which he knew would be an edge in their combative styles.

As he introduced them, slowly, to more of the world's culture and knowledge, he felt, in a new way, that their very existences were revolutionary. A perfect, synergistic unity between two entirely different families of genetic material, with numerous enhanced abilities. And they were children. They maintained all the properties of regular children, but had so much more in store! Such grand destinies! They would be, inarguably, the greatest warriors of their time when they were grown. They would be the compassionate, skillful heroes of all Yokai, the first of a new generation of super mutants, and the key to overcoming the evils of the humans who had overtaken the surface and posed such threat to all who lived below.

It was with great reluctance that he allowed himself to accept, however, that not all of mankind was evil. There were many forms of art, beautiful in different ways, there were some rare people filled with kindness, inventions that utilized resources in ways Yokai kind had never thought to. Perhaps he had been a little stubborn in his ways, a bias cementing over time that blinded him to some of the beauty that did yet exist in such a species.

Make no mistake, humans were a threat. Innocent families lived in fear, in hiding, of the governments and ruthless sciences designed to invade, to blaspheme the name of knowledge, with no regard for the safety of this people.

Draxum could live with being an outlaw to the Yokai if his experiments would lead to their salvation. He may be their villain in today's papers, but in history books he would be a hero.

Still, he wished to amend some of his practices. Even if only to his turtles, he would be known for his ability to change and understand. He would be fair, and he would be truthful.

And so it was that he told the turtles the nature of their existence. Perhaps he muted some of the details, to protect their minds until they had more understanding, but he would not lie to them about their DNA. He told them of Lou Jitsu, and their human genetics, and he begrudgingly allowed them access to the culture of the humans. He would let them choose their interests unbiased.

In the process, he came to know of some of the revolutionaries of human history. Though he wasn't particularly inclined to believe there were no evils involved, he was intrigued by the strange moral code that the humans boasted from their different time periods. The turtles, as well, were fascinated by the stories of war heroes and generals, seamstresses and inventors, artists and royalty.

Initially, when it came time to redesignate his turtles, Draxum had been inclined toward the names of those whose legacies persisted in the humans' culture even today- perhaps a president for the slider, a scientist for the softshell, a great general for the snapper, and an artist for the young box turtle. It seemed, somehow, clandestinely right; carefully considered to exemplify each of their personalities.

And although he had begun to get used to the possibility of names like "Monroe" and "Edison", his indecision on the matter seemed to be working against him. He was taking too long, and the boys were growing smarter.

It was a day in August, later that year, that he found his two youngest arguing over a Renaissance book, oddly enough. The elder two took to a game of knocking "secret patterns" on each other's carapaces, which he dismissed before he could allow himself the confusion that came with wondering why a five year old would want to knock on a spiked shell for fun.

After breaking up the fight and confiscating the book (which, as it turned out, the youngest only wanted because it had pictures in it, much to the chagrin of the other, who insisted that reading it was much better than just looking at the pictures), Draxum found himself idly flipping through pages of rustic images and rudimentary ideas, developed by people with strange names.

Maybe he was simply too tired to consider it properly, but, feeling defeated in his endeavor, he chose four names at random and assigned them to the young turtles, deciding it had been long enough.

It took a while to get used to, but soon "Raphael", "Leonardo", "Donatello", and "Michaelangelo" truly fit.

Over time, the boys grew... ravenous. They devoured everything- food, information, technique. They were learning quickly everything Draxum taught them. They practiced with Huginn and Muninn, leapt up, around, over, and through everything in the lab, and took special interest in action-filled films.

And Draxum grew fonder. He wasn't entirely surprised, of course; it's natural to develop some sense of sentimentality when caring for anything this long. Even if they had been the simple minded turtles he expected, he knew this was inevitable, to a degree.

What startled him was the sudden sense of fear that came with watching them train. The alarm that made his heart beat harder when one of them fell from somewhere high or any time they ran simple drills with weapons not blunted and made from wood.

He subtly began to intensify their defensive strategies, taught them where they were most vulnerable so they could protect those spots, insisted on perfecting their abilities to parry, block, and dodge before anything else.

And, over time, he found himself training them less often than before, thinking, "I must preserve their innocence and prolong their childhood experiences". After all, it was an essential part of development, was it not? If it were tarnished too much, they might become unwise or unjust as warriors. And, really, Raphael was only 8 years old, and he was the eldest; they were much too young to be exposed to the harshness of what their combative training was really for.

He told himself that, time and time again. He told them that, making certain they understood that their training was not a game. It wasn't untrue, certainly.

Really, he just wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to admit to what extent he cared about them, because it was too much. It was more than he could ever have been prepared for. It was more than that passion to protect Yokai kind ever was, and if he ever realized that, he might become the compromise to his own purposes, to the very reason these turtles exist this way to begin with, and then what? What was he to tell them, why was he to train them, who did they exist for if not the inhabitants of the Hidden City?

No. He couldn't do that. He simply would not allow it, not when so much was at stake.

And yet...

More and more often he desired simply to watch them. He was growing weary with worry, and with that tight feeling that arose in his chest each time one of his boys so much as frowned.

Raphael loved to carry his brothers on his shoulders. And he prided himself on being the big brother, in every way. He liked repeating instructions Draxum gave to the others, and tended to play caretaker anytime someone was sad, or had a bruised knee. He often played the "bad guy" in their made up games so the younger ones could "win", he was the mediator in big decisions, like what book they should read before bed, and he seemed always ready with an armful of stuffed animals when he wanted to express affection. So strong, incredibly strong, but soft spoken and sweet.

Leonardo adored Raphael. Just as Raphael did Draxum, Leonardo liked to imitate and repeat instructions. He tended to take charge in many of their childish endeavors, and had a propensity for dramatics and heroism, often pretending to rescue his brothers. This seemed to irritate Donatello to no end, unless he was also playing the hero, and often times he was. The two were usually glued to the hip, though Leonardo liked to make a point to tell all his brothers about everything that went on, and would take a movie night with the three of them over a one on one outing with Draxum any day. He was exuberant and joyous, and very driven by the concept of justice.

Donatello, similarly, seemed to care very dearly about maintaining a bond with all three of his brothers, but he was peculiar, often more reserved and enjoying his alone time. That child read and read like he might never get a chance to again, and he absorbed what he read like a sponge. Quite a few times Draxum found him pulling apart whatever he could get his hands on, and though an effort was made, there was no hiding place the boy couldn't discover in his quest for Draxum's tools. In spite of his quizzical, sometimes stoic nature, Donatello was sensitive, and very thoughtful. He would spend hours talking about his books and his ideas- some of which were very clever- and he was expressive in secondary ways- sitting nearer his brothers even without interacting, crafting things out of paper as gifts. Even the little heart-shaped mark on the back of his soft shell seemed a fitting part of him- he wore his heart on his sleeve, so to speak, and didn't even realize it.

And Michaelangelo. There was an innocence and joy and goodness about the smallest turtle that had struck Draxum. Even when he was younger he always wore a smile and liked to see the good side of things. And he idolized his brothers. With him had grown his creative inclinations, filling every colouring book, drawing on every wall, and absolutely plastering the other turtles with stickers. They were a pain to wash off, but Draxum couldn't bring himself to mind it, especially given the elder three always loved their baths. Ironically, it seemed Michealangelo did not, enjoying it only under specific circumstances. Heat, bubble bath, and bath toys had quickly become a necessity. So too did bath crayons, the need to express himself coming through even when bathing. Everything about the ornate box turtle was bright and colourful.

Draxum... loved them. Dearly. Every facet of their personalities and growth. Every unique trait and behavior.

It was terrifying. He couldn't afford to love them. He couldn't afford to see any more goodness in the humanity they showed. He couldn't afford to change his goals right now.

So he continued disregarding the feeling, trying to reason that everything he did for them was to nurture their instincts as warriors, as science experiments, as specimen.

But a pained scream one day, different from any of the ones he heard when they were frightened as infants, when one of them tripped and fell, when a spat led to hitting, sent his heart into his throat and had him racing through doorways with more urgency than he had felt for anything before.

He had demanded an explanation, panic translating to perceived anger, and three of his boys looked up with teary eyes. Three, but Donatello remained curled up on the ground, wailing his little heart out without ever looking up, and it was one of the most heart wrenching, painful sounds Draxum'd ever heard.

Raphael sat not far from the smaller boy, looking over his shoulder seemingly at nothing, at Donatello, then up at Draxum and back again. Both Leonardo and Michaelangelo burst into frantic, panicked explanations, none of their words coherent enough to understand through their tears.

When Raphael stood, exposing red-tipped spikes on his shell and pointing frantically to Donatello's, it didn't take long to figure out well enough what had happened.

It became quickly a very long day. All four turtles were distraught, and though Draxum had more than enough first aid knowledge to address the situation, bile had threatened to rise the very moment he pulled out the suture kit.

The cuts were deep, and jagged. And poor Donatello cried the entire time, even after a numbing agent had been applied.

Draxum had never thought that in depth about Donatello's soft shell. Not like that. He chose a softshell for the experiment because it would provide greater flexibility, greater agility. It gave an advantage that the hard-shelled turtles did not have.

Now, here... The soft carapace, spongy and leathery and bloody...

It was an accident. Of course it was, Draxum never doubted that. He had to assure that none of his boys were in trouble, no one was in trouble, no one had done anything wrong.

But for the first time he had to be honest with himself. For the first time he couldn't deny how much he cared about the turtles. His turtles. His boys.

He wouldn't, either. If this was what it was, if this was something that could happen again because he insisted on making them into warriors, into fighters- if this could happen on purpose, if this could happen worse, if this could happen with malice and hatred in mind...

Draxum wasn't unused to physical affection, by now. All four boys adored hugs, although Donatello was usually more reserved about them. Now, Donatello clung like his life depended on it, sniffling and whimpering, having cried so long he had no more tears. Draxum clung back, idly smoothing over the edges of the bandages, holding the frightened, exhausted turtle to his chest, cradling.

He did so until well after Donatello fell asleep. He couldn't bring himself to put him down. He accompanied the others to bed, assuring them once more that things were alright, and then simply stood in the walkway, holding his boy tightly.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't go through with it. They were children, every bit as innocent and deserving as the Yokai he wished to avenge and protect. He could train them, prepare them to protect themselves, but he could never send them into battle, ask them to put their lives on the line, much less demand it.

How could he?

It took months of processing, of agonizing his way through the healing process with Donatello, of watching the other boys proving their humanity, their curiosity, and their innocence time and time and time again. His mind was constantly at war with itself, his heart constantly in turmoil and distress, worsened by the turtles' confusion at his sudden change in behavior.

What was even worse was that they would.

They would absolutely sacrifice everything they had for his approval, and for what they understood as "right". He could see them, easily, being willing to submit their very lives to a greater cause if he asked it.

But was he "right"? Even if this experiment had gone exactly as planned, was he right for ever considering putting these turtles into the station of a warrior? Even if they had remained turtles in mind, if they never expressed complex emotion, if they could not speak, if they did not have distinct and colourful personalities, would it have been right?

Was what he saw in them now what they would have been at heart, regardless of circumstance?

Or was it the humanity, that he stole from Lou Jitsu?

Perhaps... perhaps it was time to learn. To consider the root of his motivations.

He couldn't do this to them.

How could he?

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 2

Warnings: Ok...Cursing, pain,(IF YOU WANT IT TO BE KEPT A SURPRISE QUICK SHIELD YOUR EYES!!),medical emergency, Emergency medical procedures, mentions of blood, anger outburts, a lot of pain, DID I MENTION PAIN?!, mentions of panic attacks I believe.

Pairing: BangchanxReader

Characters: All of the Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Stay family y'all came in droves, I've had so much fun writing for SKZ so far and whatever you guys want to see, send it in an ask and I'll see when I can get to it, if the muses allow. There will be a Stray Kids Masterlist soon. I would always appreciate any feedback! And if you like Supernatural as well here's my masterlist!

Overall Masterlist- Click Here

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-Click Here

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ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Where we left off:

“Bin” Chan tried to say something but Changbin cut him off.

“NO! YOU DON’T GET A SAY HERE, CHRIS! YOU FUCKED UP ROYALLY AND NOW YOU DESTROYED YOUR FAMILY!” Bin was visibly shaking with rage as he walked up to Chan. Tears were starting to form in his eyes.

LeeKnow looked visibly confused as he looked to Bin, “What are you talking about?”

Bin threw the content of the card at Chan’s feet. 

Chan looked at what the card had in it, it was unmistakable.

Bin sounded broken as he responded, “Y/N is pregnant.”.

NOW:

Changbin's blood was boiling and yet he felt like collapsing. His lip twitched as he yelled, “You promised you’d protect her! That you’d do NOTHING to hurt her!”

Felix stared at Changbin. He has never seen him like this. He could see the conflict. Stuck between the need to comfort and protect you and the want and need to beat the pulp out of Chris.

He continued, his voice cracking,his brow knitted and lips twitching as he said, “ I told you that I love her, that you better take care of her. And you said that you’d NEVER hurt her.” His anger was winning as he shouted, “You didn’t just hurt her, you DESTROYED HER and ALL CHANCES of that child having a life where their mom & dad are still together!” 

He couldn’t decide whether to say it gently or smack him with the truth as he saw the honest ramifications of his friend’s actions. He chose the latter, “And let’s be honest, Chan. That’s if the baby makes it through this! With the amount of pain that Y/N/N feels right now. Not to mention that she put in months upon months of work planning YOUR anniversary celebration only to be stood up. Only to come home to see HER HUSBAND & HER BEST FRIEND in the bed that she sleeps in every night, having sex & talking about how INADEQUATE she is!”

Chan picked up the sonogram and said “I’ve got to fix this.”

Bin huffed, “There’s no fixing this Chris. She doesn’t tolerate assholes like you. You cheated and threw everything away! Now, I am going to take her to a hospital to check on the baby, YOU are going to stay the FUCK away from her! Is that clear?!”

While Bin was chewing Chris out, Han was packing everything he could think of. He had a feeling but he couldn’t put a name to it. Being the youngest in his family, he never really knew what being protective felt like. For some reason, from the second you came stumbling out of that room, he only had one objective, keep you safe. The drive to protect you so instinctual it wasn’t even a thought in his brain as much as it was an impulse.

Maybe it was that you both think so similarly. You had met the boys because of a photoshoot in New York. You were a photographer that was hired to do some promotional shots of them in the bustling Times Square. 

Han had a panic attack due to the massive amount of people and you took him aside and grounded him, got him to calm down and breathe. He didn’t know at the time but you yourself have extreme social anxiety and anxiety overall. That was when you and Han exchanged numbers. “Rain or shine, I’m here for you always,” you told him after the shoot was done. 

That was when Han told Chris why he was even able to complete the shoot and Chris really liked your shots, so he got your number as well. That eventually led to the boys begging you to become their personal photographer full time. Then you moved to South Korea to work with them, because taking a plane every few weeks was just too much.

Han was wondering how such a beautiful beginning ended up like this. How something so horrible could happen to someone so rare, talented, and sweet. When he was done packing, he ran to the car with 3 overnight bags, yours, Han’s, and Bin’s. He knows that they aren’t coming back for a while, knowing that you’ll need support more than anything. 

Not to mention Han can’t even look at Chan right now. Too many questions race through his head, but one look at you and all of it disappears, his Noona needs him. His niece or nephew needs him. That’s what matters.

Han told Innah to go back inside and tell Bin that you’re ready to go.

Bin shoved Chan out of the way and left the house. He was expecting you to be in the front seat but you were actually in the back with Hannie. You were crying on his shoulder as he tried to talk you through your deep breathing exercises. When you finally made it to the hospital, you were terrified.

You had tried to stay as calm as possible for the baby but seeing what you saw, realizing what he did & what you gave up for him. Then the reality of him doing this… and saying those things about you, it was all too much. 

Now that you were registered, Han and Bin had time to register the heartbreak they felt for you. They were completely in the dark about all of it. Probably because they would’ve beaten the crap out of Chan for even contemplating doing that to you, let alone following through with it. You are so sweet, kind, beautiful, and intelligent, all the members admired you so much. So, to see Chris doing this. It’s no wonder why they were seeing red right now. 

But they needed to put that anger aside and check on the baby and yourself. The wait was nerve-racking, especially at almost 2 hours staring at a clock and waiting. 

Bin only had time to think, and think he did. He couldn’t stop thinking about how unfair it was for you, how he would’ve never dreamed of cheating on you. He would’ve spoiled you and made love to you every single day. He would’ve cried and spun you around seeing that positive pregnancy test. It made his heart hurt at the fact that you didn’t experience that.

His anger was quickly replaced with regret. He regretted not telling you his feelings. He regretted letting Chan anywhere near you. He also regretted the pang of hope in his heart at the possibility of having a chance with you. Thinking momentarily that it was wrong to even hope that you don’t reconcile, afterall you’re married, why put such negative thoughts into the universe, let alone feel hope at that thought? It was something he couldn’t help.

If anything, in his mind, he’d love to raise this baby with you and that truly scared him. Even more than the possibility of Chan fixing things. That meant that he was ready to sacrifice everything for you. And if he were to be honest with himself, he would’ve recognized that’s always been the case. 

Meanwhile, Chan had been blowing up Han and Bin’s phones non-stop, wanting updates, if his wife and child were okay. Are there any signs of stress? It got to a point that Bin excused himself just to personally tell him to fuck off. 

“What do you want?” Bin snapped.

“I want to know how my wife and child are.” Chan sounded terrified, but Bin couldn't care less, after all, it was his fault any of this happened. As a matter of fact, it only made his anger worse. Hearing him say, my wife and child. Like you were something to be owned. 

“You lost the privilege of calling her that, Chris.”

“I made a mistake, Bin. A mistake that I want to take back so please tell me where she is.” Bin could feel the anger rolling off of himself. This isn’t a mistake. A mistake is leaving the oven on, or forgetting your wallet at home. 

There are so many steps before having sex, the courting, taking every layer of clothing off. At the very least when going out 5 pieces of clothing need to come off. That’s just on him, not to mention she still has to undress. Then there’s getting into the bed,the foreplay, the kissing, the teasing, prepping her, then you have to get over her. All of this is before penetration is even in the mix. 

All of these chances to stop, look at a photo of his gorgeous wife and realize that everything Chris could possibly want, he already has. All of this is racing in Bin’s head as his blood continues to boil.

“We are still trying to calm her down and you think that I am going to let you anywhere near her? You’re out of your fucking mind.” Bin spat at him. “Every time you call, she starts to sob, you know why? Because she knows that the person she trusted, that she loved, that very same person is the same one that degraded, disrespected, and destroyed not only her but her child’s life. He also won’t get the FUCKING HINT that she needs to focus on HERSELF and HER CHILD! You are only making it worse.” 

Bin’s voice was so loud that every time the doors separating himself from you were even slightly ajar, you could hear Bin chewing Chan out.

“Bin, you have every right to be angry…” It was then that Bin could hear the phone being snatched and Minho was on the other end.

“We told him NOT TO CALL AND TO LEAVE HER ALONE! Two simple instructions Chan! You’re only going to stress her out more! You’ve done enough! Hey Changbin-ah, sorry. I’m going to call you on my phone and I’m taking his phone away now.”

“Thank you,” it was all he could say. At least he was getting some form of reprimand, given Bin would’ve loved to beat the crap out of him. But his thought was that Chris being verbally chewed out would have to do for now. 

A few seconds later Bin’s phone rang, “Hey”.

“Hey, how’re you doing?” Minho asked, “And Hannie?”

Bin’s face fell as he looked back at the equivalent of his younger brother being so strong for you. 

“We are holding on. It’s hard not to cry with her, hyung.” Bin exhaled as he paced.

“Chan shut the fuck up! You’re the whole reason why she’s in this mess so shut it and sit down!” he heard Minho barking at Chan.

At that point, Bin heard a blood-chilling scream, and he shouted your name. When he busted through the doors he found you gripping your stomach. Your gray sweatpants now taking a bright red hue. 

“Bin? Changbin-ah!” he heard Minho but he couldn’t answer. His body was on autopilot as he ran to you.

You screamed for him, “Binnie..no no!” He handed the phone to Han as he started to yell for help. 

You held onto his hand as if he was your lifeline. It felt like something was ripping apart your insides, worse than any period that you have ever had.

Han put his ear to the phone once he registered that Minho was screaming on the other end of the line, “Minho.” Han was near tears. He knew exactly what this meant.

“Hannie what’s happening?” the alert in Minho’s voice was haunting. Somewhere in his mind he was hoping to hear “False alarm, everything’s fine!” What he actually heard gave him goosebumps as his heart dropped.

“I’ve gotta go.” That was all Han said as he hung up and went to you. 

“Hannie! No, no the baby Hannie.” She clutched onto him, praying, begging. Meanwhile, Bin tried to get help. She kept staring at her lap and Han tilted her head up.

“Focus on me, Y/N look at me, okay, keep breathing.” Han kept his voice even as he took his jacket off and put it on your lap, to block your view. “You just need to look at me and breathe.”

You clutched your stomach harder as you heard Bin arguing with the staff and the only thing Han heard was “Please wait.”

Han is not confrontational, but seeing you like this, he screamed “We can’t wait, she's bleeding and pregnant!” Han checked under the jacket, what was a patch of red was now dominating the gray… something was wrong. He looked at your face to find the color draining. He screamed to Bin, “Bin she’s bleeding out!”

Changbin ran to you and looked. He immediately asked you if you could walk. The minute you shook your head he gave Han the jacket and scooped you up. Now that he picked you up he noticed that you lost all rigidity in your body, you couldn’t even wrap your arms around his neck. When he looked down at you, your eyelids were fluttering as your free arm dangled.

Before this, he thought he knew what fear was… the sense of dread that filled him as he held you, that was fear. It felt as if he was the only person in the world who knew that the world was going to end. His world was going to end if you… 

“Han get the door,” Bin ordered as he walked to the door that led to the patient beds, nurses, and doctors. As soon as the door opened Bin went through.

Bin shouted as loud as he could, “I have a pregnant woman that’s bleeding out. Can we get some help here?!”

Immediately 3 nurses rushed to Bin and led him to a bed. “Y/N stay awake c’mon stay up,” He kept trying to keep you up the entire way to the gurney.

He didn’t notice it but blood was being trailed behind him. The only one who seemingly noticed was Han. 

As soon as Bin laid you on the gurney the nurses immediately started cutting off your pants while a doctor asked for a summation of what happened, your name, and anything else Han or Bin may have known.  

Bin immediately gave the doctor any information that he could find useful. You held onto Han and Bin with whatever strength you had. The nurses asked Han to move so they could get an IV in and he repositioned himself at your head to pet your hair back. The doctor draped a privacy sheet over your legs so that you could feel a little more comfortable. 

A few seconds into the exam the doctor yelled “Get anesthesia down here now! We need an epidural.” He looked at one of the nurses and said, “Prep for a D&C”. Then he said, “Get a vial for blood type testing and rush it, a transfusion set ready, IV open wide,” to everyone else in the room, the nurses rushed around them and the doctor said, “Ok Y/N can you hear me?”

You nodded, then screamed as your body involuntarily bore down. 

Both Han and Bin tried to comfort you as much as they could.

The doctor said, “There is going to be a lot going on here in a few minutes okay? You’re going to get a nerve block because what’s going to happen is going to be uncomfortable.”

You looked at Bin and Han and begged them to stay. Both of them looked at the doctor and said that whatever was happening, they weren't leaving. The doctor could see that you really needed them and as long as they were not in the way, it didn’t matter whether they were here or not. 

After the nerve block and the procedure, the doctor cleaned you up and draped a warm blanket over you, while the nurses hooked up a transfusion and closely monitored you. The doctor asked for Bin in the hall while Han went right back to your hand without the IV in it, so he could hold it properly.

Bin tried to ignore it during the procedure but the look that the doctor had on his face when he was doing the preliminary exam was haunting. Whatever he was called out here for… it wasn’t good.

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[mueritos]

had a cystocopy this morning (camera in urethra fucking OUCH) and while im glad i dont have any bladder issues, this whole pissing blood that feels like glass coming out of my hole thing is awful. im trying to avoid a UTI from this procedure because thats a common complication and the reason why I even got it was to figure out if my reoccuring UTIs were actually something else. so the only way to keep my bladder healthy rn is to continously chug water and d mannose to flush shit out. which in turn fucking hurts. and did i mention im pissing blood. OUCCHH. if you're on T please take care of your cooch, eat yogurt/kimchi, take some probiotics, get on estradoil, use lots of lube during sex, and take d mannose.