#lots are things are big in my life...
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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she’s like if the virgin mary smoked a pack of pall malls every day 🚬
#sims 4#the sims community#simblr#ts4#sims 4 edit#mysims#drawing/editing these tears took actual years off my life#editing this in general did but the tears were my hell#her name is norma jean named after her grandmother but she goes by either jeanie or jj#she works at the local convenience store and bartends at night when shes able to pick up shifts#shes the worst bartender in existence and refuses to lift anything over 2 pounds#she once convinced a customer to buy her a sweater because she looked a little cold while working#she lied and said her manager never lets them turn on the heat and casually mentioned pennys was selling her favorite sweater#and then described in detail exactly where the sweater was in the store#all she had to do was blink her big brown eyes and call them baby a few times and they immediately folded#she goes to church 7 days a week even though she hates it because that's what she did when her mom was still alive#and its one of the few things that helps her feel close to her mom#her mom died after she had to drop out of highschool to take care of her#she holds a lot of resentment for having to give up such a big part of her life#but at the same time blames herself for not being able to make her mom better#she doesnt believe in banks and hides money around her house to store it but she's also super forgetful#she'll randomly find money around the house and then treat herself like it was present she meant to leave for her future self#she loves crosswords but treats it like a fun game and refuses to check if her answers are ever right#there's ur fun little facts about jeanie 🫵🏼
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So I found this posted to reddit and I wanted to share it here because I'm sure there are some fans who haven't seen the Adventures Bible stuff. (I had not so this is just referencing myself)
#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi adventurers bible#delicious in dungeon spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi#laios touden#kabru of utaya#kinda...#hes referenced in the start of the comic lol#marcille donato#falin touden#senshi of izganda#kensuke#kensuke!!!!!!#ughhh this is such a FANTAAAASTIC wrap up to the main story#its so freaking cute to see laios getting to explore a dungeon after he becomes the king of the golden country#tehehe love that hes gotten a bit too big for his armor#AND KENSUKE GETS TO HAVE LIKE A SEND OFF#plz trigger make this an OVA after the series ends plzzzzzzzz im begging you 🙏#hrmn this has a lot of tags#also laios being mentally exhausted after having to mask and act like a king#like......this is how i feel after coming home from work most days like#laios gets to be his true self when he goes exploring#as well as its also like him retiring his past self...leaving his armor and kensuke behind#im crying chat#the armor and kensuke were such defining things for laios#man he really did step up to be king#retired most of his past life in order to lead the kingdom#i love you laios you are my favoritest character ever
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the students got too rowdy after curfew and erasermic had to come out and scold them
sort of the goth couple equivalent to that 'flowing sheer robes vs sleeping cap and nightgown' couple meme.
#erasermic#present mic#eraserhead#shota aizawa#mha#bnha#hero academia#my art#we all know aizawa is goth but what a lot of people miss is that present mic is clearly goth too#if you havent noticed before youre realizing it right now#my actual initial inspo for this was going to be that he had a fuckton of those cathedral looking tattoos#and fancy crosses#(and i wanted that one anime schoolgirl in the plaid skirt with the big cross)#but wouldnt you know it i could not for the life of me draw those things#SO we got ecclectic vaguelly 'dark' messy tattoos instead
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Buttercups and Golden Flowers
#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing.#so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image.#it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning.#my art#undertale#chara#chara dreemurr#safeutdr#something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous.#the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara.#contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan.#you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of#golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well.#why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're#the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground.#it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle.#it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative.#from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing#but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings.#well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me.#see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers#and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same.#'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?'#'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!'#<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater.#i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.
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so there's this post that talks about how people call jason's curved knife a kris but it's not a kris 'cuz why would he have a southeast asian knife? and op's tags say if you're gonna give him an 'exotic' weapon at least make him malay or something. a later reblog adds a filipino kris as an example, and then i was like, 'omg, jason in a barong tho.' SO i tried designing a bat-barong inspired by his hood logo, for a filipino jason haha. and now here we are! 😊✨️🇵🇭
#jason todd#red hood#batfamily#batfamily fanart#dc#dc fanart#i love barongs SO MUCH i used to think they were just a boy thing but my mom and i found a barong dress for me to wear for graduation ✨️✨️#i was so happy lol#i am posting a lot of lil doodles rn cuz i finished some big involved pieces for the zines im in and this is all the energy i have left rn#anyways i made him white-passing bc comics but like.#it should track that he looks a lil asian too cuz he thinks lady shiva might be his mom right??? so he could feasibly be half... 🤷🏻♀️#i like thinking he's a lil filipino but only cuz im all the way filipino (except for all the ways im not hashtag immigrant kid life)#I DIGRESS#here's another extremely niche jason todd post from yours truly 😌✌️✨️#sorry if the knife isnt to scale it's only occuring to me now that i just *assumed* it'd be longer than a man's forearm oops#ugh barongs are so pretty. idve tried designing more if i had the patience to do the detail work rn 🥲 mb in the future who knows#he's wearing a sando underneath!!!!
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exams are over. centaur wizard celebration extravaganza
#this is canon within my big fat awesome au btw.... since transfiguration is one of the first things wizards learn in the show#and magus has a lot of natural magical talent/storage#massive transfigurations like this are easiful peasiful to them. centauring it up all of the time forever#there's a village by the sea near wizard city with a centaur population and they don't allow non-centaurs in#and magus goes there a lot on holiday#artists on tumblr#character design#adventure time#adventure time fanart#life giving magus#ancient sleeping magi of life giving#life giving magi#lgm adventure time#magus of life giving#atimers#centaur#wizard#creature design#I BASICALLY NEVER DO SHADING <- character designer SO FORGIVE ME IF ITS EVILSTYLE BAD
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FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.
[youtube with closed captions]
dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.
(via @closetoyou1970)
#spn#vid#mind the warnings on this one for real#woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye.#pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl.#also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise#anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator#is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else#and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters#that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's#not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under#alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it#so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way#i am using them to make my argument.#oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to.#i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through#into everything in his life#that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.
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sending my love to people with slow processing speeds.
you should be allowed to take your time to do things and I am so sorry if people have ever made you feel like you can't.
you and your contributions are just as worthy as everyone else's, the speed in which you do them should not impact that.
I am so sorry if you ever been made to feel like you weren't good enough because you "couldn't keep up".
you are good enough. you are trying enough. there is nothing wrong with you and it's not your fault.
#saying sps because its a part of a lot of NDs! and imo the one that impacts me the most at least in jobs ect?#might make a post about it if anyones interested? i feel like its not spoken about that much as an ND thing?#but it's basically being slower to do things than others and it impacts everything!! but i feel its misunderstood?#ive found its the thing NT seem to have a hard time understanding? its the ive been pulled up on as a 'performance' issue throughout my life#even though its something that i... cannot control and am not even aware im doing??#anyway big love to people with sps!!#i see you i love you you are worthy <33#reminder#self acceptance#processing speed#letters to you
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JENNY SHELDON FOREHEAD KISS FUCK YOU!!!!!!! 😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕
...
Gonna be real for a moment and say that I haven't watched this show in nearly a year, and idk if this pairing is deemed problematic or whatever (i think most people like jenny with brad). All I know is that a few nights ago I was driving home, and this image graced my mind, and i knew I had to make it real. I shipped the fuck out of these two when I was little. Nostalgia is a powerful thing
#i had this thing when I was little#ANY TIME there was a guy in a cartoon#who had a super big unrequited crush on a girl#I was ALWAYS rooting for him#I always wanted them to be a couple#and it was a little bi of me to sort of weirdly see things through his eyes?? Like YESS she IS so pretty!! You do need to be with her!! 😭#happened with a lot of cartoons actually#mlaatr#my life as a teenage robot#mlaatr fanart#jenny wakeman#sheldon lee#sheljen#jeldon#spitting out random ship names so hopefully this reaches an audience ksdjhkjfhkfhfgdk#jenny x sheldon#digital art#digital drawing#character art#character drawing
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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Unpopular almost blasphemous labru opinion time: kabru would so be into getting flavour profiled actually hed be like. Oh citrus notes interesting. And then he'd have a small crisis about not being able to do the same for Laios BUT he can tell him how quickly he would die if he stabbed him in whatever part he's kissing and that's just as sexy
#labru#nsft text#so much fanfic in which laios is like 'oh you taste almost like..' and kabru is like NO and im sorry esteemed scholars i gotta disagree#its an interesting thing to know!#now if you dont want to go to the trouble of describing taste because its a pain in the ass i respect that#wow but ive been talking a lot about laios eating kabru out lately. it has been a very dry pride month over here what can i say#kabru *sucking a mark into laios' tigh* and you see youd think this is safe but actually an important artery passes here#*resting his ear on the spot* i can even hear your heartbeat!!! *big smile* you'd bleed out in ten minutes#laios *harder than hes ever been in his life* what if. what if you stabbed my dick#kabru *still smiling* not yet#laios: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEE
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do you consider your self made?
#my art#self portrait of sorts#been musing a lot on disability recently and how being relatively freshly unable to do Most Things has changed my perspective on things#for a long time growing up i was fixated on the idea of being An Impact On The World yknow? mainly the next Big Writer#(and that it would be sooo impressive that everyone would make my books bestsellers when i was only 12 because it was That Good)#and i mean. obviously that didnt work out as originally planned because i was 12 and learning. but I've felt a lot like#I've kind of built my sense of self on those big achievements. even if they were only big to me. and a lot of them#are now out of reach or very difficult to reach. and it's been a lot to. recontextualize#to take what ive been told my whole life and ignore it in favor of just being being enough.#things will happen as they happen. i havent earned anything by suffering but it hasnt ended the world either#im here doing what i Can do for as long as I'm able to do it. and thats all i need to be for now#just making sure that i Do do the things i can do rather than assume i can do them later#anyways. love you#cw:#top nudity#artistic nudity#the dreaded ambiguously presenting nipple#if you put any pro weight loss eating disorder shit on here ill kill you btw#my body is sexy because im in it and im still alive. not because its struggling to stay that way#lindwormposting
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Successfully just prioritized my own mental health and quit my retail job!
I did it scared and alone and crying and full of compulsive shame, but I survived.
Some context:
I found my mom passed out on the floor the other day and it turns out she needs a heart stent for a 90% blocked artery. Untreated it would have ultimately led to a heart attack. I know I'm not the only person who's found their mother unconscious on the floor but I can't imagine it's easy for anyone.
She's doing good right now though! She's expected to make a full recovery, but the emotional toll plus CPTSD made the situation so much worse for us. It also triggered a huge breakdown ( or suspected autistic burnout ) that has left me unable to continue my retail job. That and far too many problems with the job itself. I was already pretty sure about quitting, but this for sure sped it up.
Anyway! Time to look for remote work. Again...
#so yeah! im officially unemployed but im finding out a lot of new things about myself. i may be autistic#which explains a lot but it also means ive had to completely reframe my lived experience and to tackle problems differently#basically i started seriously considering if i were autistic and its motivated me to make some big changes in my life#but it also feels like im starting from the bottom again or even lower. and its hard but my self compassion has undoubtedly improved!
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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Well guys, here it comes.
imnotcryingyouretheonecryingimjistallergictomyemotionsstfu
#reconnecting#art#my art#reconnecting updates#SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP#it’s like a part of my life is coming to a close aaaaaa#my plan is to answer all the asks together in one ol big post cause I know imma get a lot#but yeah- here it comes#it’s been a hell of a ride#but you know it’s okay because I’m not going away#I’ll still make deltarune content#I’ll still post fanart for all the things#I’ll still be crack filled#but I want all yall to know that you have been of more support to me in this than like- a lot of people#💜💜💜
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