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nabi-unveiled · 18 days ago

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Catching Up: Love for Love's Sake (Ep 4)

Other Reacts: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3

Yes, it's 3:15 in the morning. Yes, I have to work tomorrow. No, I can't even sleep in because I have to interview a potential intern at 9 am. Plus, the kids will be home with me too since it's a school holiday. I don't care. I'm starting episode 4 anyways.

And yay! We've went back to the fight. I was hoping we would find out more about what happened.

Is this a new way for them to do the subtitle for "debuff/curse". I guess that's fine so that people who don't understand gaming get it. It feels a little late in the game for that though. Still, I loved this screenshot, because you can see the transition that's a bit gamified. And the purple aura energy is showing up on Yeowoon's arm.

We didn't have any debuffs last episode so I guess the debuff really does relate to affection of Myungha and not Yeowoon's personal affection. Fine. I'll exit my clown car theory about the debuffs....for now. Outside of my clown car, it makes sense that the debuff would show up now since Myungha's affection level just plummeted.

Myungha absorbs the debuff. Yeowoon is left in shock. He definitely is feeling rejected/slighted at this point.

Myungha is dragging Sangwon through the halls. Sangwon says "I'm not a kid." I'd be careful Sangwon. That line of thinking means he can hit you. I know Myungha knows how to fight, but I do wonder more and more every episode about "why" he fought. I'm already developing a lot of head canons on that score. Maybe we'll find out eventually though.

He's not going to hit him (not that I thought he ACTUALLY would anyways), because we now have a ringing sound. I'm guessing the debuff is having an effect. He absorbed all the bad purple energy, and it was STRONG this time base on his -99. Was the -99 in red last episode? If not, it should've been. Sorry, random thought.

Myungha falls down the stairs.

I've given up on the episode names being strictly related to missions. The gamer in me though is going to retranslate this as "progress". That feels better in gamification terms. Especially if it's talking about progress in the mission quest. I obviously have no clue whether that is right. Wait. Unless they're talking about aspects of the game being "in development" like new code/levels being written or the story being redeveloped/changed. Hmm. That actually feels likely. We'll stick with development.

KYUNGHOON! You're back. I missed you so much. I'm guessing they're having to skip class to go to the competition. Apparently, Myungha has hurt his leg. Kyunghoon struggles to get over the wall. Based on how Myungha hopped the wall, I'm guessing it's the right leg that's hurt. But Myungha's leg obviously wasn't THAT badly hurt. It didn't look like he tried to favor one leg more in the landing. Guess that could depend on the type of injury though. My perspective is probably skewed. I've dislocated kneecaps more times than I wish to recount. I definitely wouldn't have made it over the wall shortly after one of those times. My personality is such though that I'd have doubled down and probably hurt myself more while trying. Lol.

Sangwon is waiting on the other side of the wall. I loved his "hi". Kyunghoon asks if he was waiting. Myungha says it's a "disease". It works, but I wonder if there is a different translation of that word. They've used it several times. It was also used in a very similar way during Secret Relationships ("being nosy is a disease").

Sangwon says he was just late to school. It's coincidence that they met up. I love that he's somewhat "talking back" to Myungha. But I also have a very sarcastic/roast style sense of humor. These types of exchanges always make my day. I wish I had more of that energy in my life.

Kyunghoon asks about the shoes, and Sangwon realizes that he had made a mistake. I didn't mention it last episode as the post was already getting really long. But my guess is that Sangwon was upset about the shoes, because he thought that his mom gave them to Yeowoon. His mom had just been to the school after all, and it appears like they have a complicated relationship. I'm guessing there's a lack of affection there too based on Sangwon's reactions to Myungha's signs of care. This is all conjecture on my part. The show isn't really SAYING any of this at the moment.

But now he knows the shoes weren't from his mom. It's okay Sangwon. I made several bad calls in the last episode too. Sangwon decides to follow.

And just like that, we have a gaming party embarking on a quest.

Our trio notices that Yeowoon is standing instead of taking his place on the blocks. Is he wearing the blue shoes? It looks like it. Myungha is still outside of the love supremacy zone, but he yells Yeowoon's name. I'm taking note that his number is 251 just in case it pops back up at some point. I loved the sound effect as the camera circled around and Yeowoon realized his name was being called.

Yeowoon is recalculating his affection, and the number starts moving up fast. Lol. This feels very much like love indeed. Highs and lows and emotional turbulence. Some might say that's the fickle nature of teenage affection. I'd say that doesn't ever really change. But maybe that's just the nature of my personal relationship talking. Maybe it'd help if we had affection scores above our head so we'd both know when we screwed up. On second thought, I don't think I'd want to know my score. That feels like a recipe for disaster.

Yeowoon takes his place at the blocks with magic sparkles coming off of his blue shoes. The affection level keeps rising.

If this wasn't a "game", the new shoes would be disastrous in a competition. But as I've thought about it, I actually like that this feels like an equipment upgrade in a game. Higher tier equipment immediately leads to better outcomes in a game assuming you have the skills to use it.

The music reminds me of late 90s/early 2000s movies. I kind of love it since we're panning across Sangwon and Kyunghoon's faces, and it feels like a friend montage moment out of one of those types of "high school" movies. Ah nostalgia.

Affection level is back at 0. The subtitles say Yeowoon is second, but I'm guessing he's actually third. They announced two other names before him.

Yep, he's third place based on the next part of the dialogue. Myungha says he did well. Yeowoon is crying, but Myungha definitely doesn't understand the reason. Yeowoon is trying to figure out why Myungha is nice to him.

Poor boy is definitely dealing with romantic feelings now. I'm loving the romance driven emotional angst of it all. This is my cup of tea.

The coach interrupts. Yeowoon is still emotional, but Myungha says he'll wait. They can eat together afterwards. Yes, please do. I'm always going to be down for a shared meal.

Yay! Our whole crew is EATING together! And Yeowoon is smiling.

Yeowoon tells Myungha to eat too and gives him food. OMG - our affection level has crossed the zero threshold. We're now at 5. And it keeps climbing as he keeps giving Myungha food. Lol. Kyunghoon tells Myungha to eat slowly and Sangwon's face is priceless! He seems absolutely disgusted by Yeowoon's actions. We end on an affection level of 17 for now.

Sangwon and Yeowoon are bickering. I love it. so. much. Frenemy relationships are the best. I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops moving forward.

For those that like talks about linguistics, they said a bit about honorifics too. If I followed it correctly, Sangwon used more casual speech with Myungha and Yeowoon didn't like it. I could be mistaken though. Myungha really is the exasperated parent here. Lol. Cutie Kyunghoon helps Myungha out. He is worried that Yeowoon's feet might hurt since he ran with new shoes.

Yeowoon says he's fine, but he asks what happened to Myungha's leg.

🤣 This pout had me dying. For the game aspect, it really is like now that his "affection level" has went up, it's unlocked all kinds of new dialogue/expression options.

I wonder if Myungha realizes that his leg getting hurt was due to the purple energy. He's a smart cookie. I bet he's figured that out.

This whole scene just put me in a good mood.

Yeowoon offers to help "hold" Myungha. I'm betting there's a better translation of that. Kyunghoon used the term earlier too. I bet it has to do with letting Myungha lean on him or something like that rather than "hold" as I typically interpret. Myungha says he fine.

Yeowoon wants Myungha to rely on him too. This is a tricky situation. Yeowoon wants them to be EQUALS, but Myungha is definitely going to struggle with that. Myungha has taken on a caretaker role, and while those things aren't mutually exclusive, it can make things complex.

Yeowoon asks how Myungha knows his (shoe) size. Myungha says he let the fan (sis) pick it out, and that she wants to meet Yeowoon. Yeowoon doesn't seem happy about Myungha hanging out with her often, but he agrees to meet up with Si-a.

Yeowoon has essentially walked Myungha home. He tells him thank you which Myungha teases him about. But he says it again and leaves.

The entry light starts flickering and there are some jarring sounds. Ominous music plays, and Myungha's head is hurting.

OOOOOOH. It WAS development like "game in development". Exciting.

We're back at the bar from episode 1. Senior is asking Myungha questions.

I first noticed the three butterflies in the corner of the paper. It shouldn't be a surprise given my blog name that I'm likely to notice butterflies. They're a symbol of transformation and personal growth. Actually, they have different stages of development just like a game. A butterfly's development requires they insulate themselves from the world and focus on changing themselves before they can emerge in their final form. I don't know whether that has anything to do with this show or not though.

But these questions are interesting. Yes, I used my phone to translate. Though it kept giving slightly different translations depending on the angle I held it, I think I got the gist of it. One of the things says "like minded friends" which was what the quest said in episode 2. If I remember correctly, that was in Myungha's hand writing. So is senior having Myung-ha essentially write the game levels? I had said in an earlier episode that this was really a quest for Myungha's own happiness as well.

It WAS his writing. I love this shot. It feels like a magic dungeon with the candles and lighting. The shape of the glass is nice. I think it's a glencairn whiskey glass. Actually no. The base is wrong. It doesn't matter. The glass itself is probably not symbolic. I just find certain types of glassware pretty. As a fun side note, I used to drink everything (soda, milk, etc.) out of a red wine glass that I got while dumpster diving in college. I loved that beautiful glass. My roommate eventually broke it "on accident", but said it was "probably for the best" so that people didn't think I was drinking alcohol. Fun times 🙄.

It's late/early. I'm rambling. *Focus brain*

Senior is in white as the "heavenly" being with the power. Am I supposed to trust him? I don't. But it feels like he's God/angel coded.

"Will there be happiness to 29 year old Tae Myungha?"

"So the standard is very important." says Senior.

Myungha doesn't hear him clearly, and we can't hear his next line clearly either. He's muffled as if he's under water. It's the same sound as when he first entered the game world.

This feels important, and it feels mistranslated. Or at least like it was translated without the needed nuance. I need to pause anyways. I'm tired enough that I know I'll miss details if I keep going tonight.

(pause)

Ok. I've slept a few hours and hung out with the kids for a bit. I've mulled it over. I'm guessing that senior is really meaning that Myungha needs to be very careful about what goals/words he's using. Happy is a pretty vague term. I actually walked down the aisle to a song called "Different Kinds of Happy" from the movie Sweet Land. The idea/theme in that movie is that happiness can take different forms and mean different things to different people. In a game, if you don't have a clearly defined objective, then it's going to be difficult to meet it. So what does Myungha actually mean by "happy"?

But Myungha "can't hear" what senior is telling him. Myungha, and us by extension, are missing a critical piece of information. I'm guessing it has to do with the standard/clearer objective or that it's a warning of some kind.

We're back in the video game world. Myungha is looking at his notes.

AND OMG - YES! HOORAY! A time jump/alternate world that GETS how problematic it is for a 29 year old to be suddenly back in high school. The dialogue is clearly establishing that he IS 19 in this world. It's how I had resolved it mentally myself in episode 2. I love it when my head canons become actual canon.

Anyways, it's a good question. What CAN he do? Because "making someone happy" on a identity level scale really isn't easy. I would argue that it's not actually possible. That they have to strive for their own happiness as they accept themselves. It's not just circumstances that's driving Yeowoon's mental disdain for himself. New shoes are great, but they're not a long term solution. When you're dealing with suicidal ideation the other person has to "want" to live. A lot of times they don't even realize it until the moment. Yeah, it wasn't my grandfather's first attempt before he succeeded. My brother's neither. So far my brother has always decided he wanted to live and sought help in time.

I love that Myungha is being smart about this. He goes "What does he WANT me to do?" If you're playing a game, that's an important question. It's anticipating the game maker's design. I am noticing that the butterfly is on the journal paper here. But it's only one this time, and it's in the top right corner instead of the bottom corner.

Now THAT'S interesting. He doesn't remember "senior". There are a lot of fun implications in this development, but I'll have to stop for now. It looks like my husband has got off of work early today. It's a national holiday. I should've expected it. This will have to wait until after everyone is asleep tonight. I didn't get very far in this session, but it's fine. I really should've been working/writing anyways. I have five scripts due in the next two weeks.

(pause)

Well...the emoji tag game happened, and I got a wee bit carried away with it. I loved it so much. But then my brain was broke so it's taken a few days to get back here.

The fact that Myungha doesn't remember "senior" from his real life is a cool detail. I had said I thought it was in odd in episode 1 that he wasn't weirded out by the situation. It could mean that ONLY senior is obscured. Or it could mean that the facts of his "future" will slowly disappear as he creates a new story leaving him only with the 19 year old version of Myungha. There are a few other possibilities too, but I'll go with those two for now. I actually like the latter one in some ways. I don't remember if he recalled senior once he entered the video game during episode 1. That would provide evidence for which possible interpretations to keep moving forward. I might have to go back and check that out.

Regardless, we know this memory was jarring. The question is what triggered the memory.

We're down to 288 days left to complete our mission so a good bit of time has passed, and we're reminded that death is the penalty. We still don't know whose death we're talking about though.

We cut to Kyunghoon and Myungha walking down the hall together. Myungha is complaining that the teacher treats him like a thug. Kyunghoon proposes that they go to college together, drink together and have fun together in the future. I love the video game sound effects in the music/soundtrack.

OH! Random thought. I wonder if those sound effects show up at critical/specific moments. Is this like the rain drops in When It Rains or just a fun part of the soundtrack? Sound analysis is tricky for me, but it can add a lot to a show. And I LOVE it when sound is used symbolically. That would require an entire rewatch though as I'd have to focus just on the sound. I'll try to make note of it moving forward though to see if I can find a pattern. I can't promise I'll catch it every time though.

Hold up. We HAVE had a sound. The freaking water. I said before that it sounded like water when Myungha is shifting between worlds. That's definitely a specific sound at critical moments. Is that significant? Is it even water? Stop brain. You know your hearing can't be trusted. Move on.

Myungha is obviously uncomfortable here. Probably because he knows that he doesn't have that kind of time. He was just reminded of the countdown. It could also be because he didn't have that kind of life in the past. I don't know if he has those resources in the current videogame timeline either. Money isn't an obstacle for Kyunghoon. But it will be for Myungha and Yeowoon. But I figure it's that he feels like he's lying to Kyunghoon by agreeing to a future that may not exist. Yeowoon has already called him a liar after all.

Ah, the bullies are circling for blood. Frizzy blond guy asks Myungha if he's gay and is obviously intimidating Kyunghoon. Myungha says "I'm gay. So what." That's the confidence of someone who is very comfortable with themselves. I wonder if he was always that way, or if this is a manifestation of him already working through that part of his identity in the "real world".

Cutie Kyunghoon steps in between to protect Myungha 🙌🙌🙌. This is VERY important. Why? Because it's a dynamic shift. Myungha is collecting people in his life that care about him too and who will stand up for him even if it's risky. He's gathering "like minded friends" as well.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Myungha kisses the bully.

Should I be laughing? Probably not. This is a forced kiss. But AM I laughing? 100% yes. And all of the bully gang not knowing how to respond is epic.

Blond guy is rightfully angry, and Myungha just scolds him for swearing. What I love about this interaction is that it quickly and decidedly shifted who was the "victim" in this interaction.

Blond guy - Tak ...Joonho? It'll eventually stick with me. Anyways, he punches Myungha and we see Myungha deftly assert his dominance. He threatens to kiss him again.

This is the second interaction where Myungha has really shown this guy to be pretty pathetic. As he seems to be a leader in this "gang", he's probably not going to react to this well. He wouldn't be able to keep power over his bully gang if he ignored things like this. I'd expect backlash soon. He'll either take it out on his own members or start targeting people Myungha cares about (Yeowoon, Kyunghoon). Potentially both. If he comes after Myungha himself, it will be sneaky style. He can't (or shouldn't) risk another direct confrontation like this one. He's already lost twice.

Teacher intervenes. Apparently Myungha has got some type of cleaning duty punishment.

Yeowoon is on the other side of the window being cleaned. I'm trying to figure out if Yeowoon had heard about the fight or he just noticed Myungha's busted lip. Either way, his expressions here are KILLING me. They are so earnest and so different than what we had in previous episodes. The rise in affection level has definitely had an impact.

Myungha tries to brush it off, but Yeowoon won't let him. "Who hit you?" Myungha tells him he doesn't need to know.

Yeowoon gets very serious. Just like that earlier interaction with Kyunghoon, this is actually very important. Yeowoon is asking to be seen as an equal. As someone that Myungha can rely on. He's asking Myungha to trust him. Ooh interesting. Yeowoon dropped honorifics.

Yeowoon drags Myungha to the nurse's office. It's a reverse of care. Yeowoon taking care of Myungha. I mean, technically Yeowoon had intervened before. However, this is DIRECT care. Yeowoon asks if he's really not going to tell him. Myungha responds "What would you do if you knew?". Yeowoon - "I'll kill him". 🥹 Yes, I'm taking the threat as a squee worthy moment. There was no hesitation. Just a direct assertion of "you matter to me that much".

Myungha rubs his head.

I'm going to have to think about this one. Why is this man's physical affection so hard for me to interpret? This feels like a parent/child interaction to me. Which...is possible. Is he in guardian mode? Trying to calm Yeowoon down while acknowledging that he's grateful for Yeowoon caring about him? Or do other people see this as just a friendly interaction? Because things would not end well if my friend rubbed my head and used that tone with me. I'd see it as condescending for sure. But cultural differences could be in play here. I'm going with guardian mode.

Myungha says that rather than hit, it's more like we kissed. And Yeowoon's reaction is amazing.

Myungha is flustered by Yeowoon's reaction. Yeowoon has to be cycling through all kinds of feelings. One - this gives him hope. Two - Myungha was kissing someone besides him.

So many thoughts running through this boy's mind.

He says he should ask Tak Joonho. That means he DOES know who was involved, but he wanted Myungha to confide in him on his own. "Can men kiss too?" "I want to kiss him" while staring at Myungha's lips and putting on the ointment. Baby boy is down bad.

We cut to Sangwon coming towards the bully gang. There's the "hi" again. Love it. But it does feel like he's out of the loop. It feels more like he's invading their space. @dropthedemiurge I see what you meant now. He's not part of the hierarchy of this group. The uniforms vs. plain shirt is visually depicting that as well. That does make me have some questions about the earlier rooftop scene, but I'll hold them for now.

Did he come because he had heard about the fight? Or is this just part of his routine? He does seem to do whatever he wants. Case in point - he didn't come to class just because he didn't want to. Skipping seems to be a regular occurrence for him.

Tak Joonho says that he's going to teach Myungha/Kyunghoon a lesson. Sangwon is trying to put the pieces together. I do find it odd that Joonho is openly admitting that Myungha kissed him. I would've expected him to threaten the others and keep that quiet. Unless he's expecting Sangwon to commiserate with him and understand.

Not happening though. Sangwon is clearly on Myungha's side in this one. I figure he knows Tak Joonho enough to know he instigated whatever happened. The chuckling of the other students as Sangwon pushes back has got to raise Joonho's ire.

Tak Joonho thinks Sangwon is teasing him, but he's actually angry.

I'm rewording this line a little bit in my head to fit better with that sassy head tilt that just made me so happy. In some ways, it's a lot like Myungha earlier. "Yes. I am. What are you going to do about it?" It's a statement and a challenge.

Unlike Myungha, Sangwon does punch Joonho and IMMEDIATELY puts his hands back in his pockets. LMAO. That's a dominance signal right there. He knows Joonho isn't going to immediately punch back. He doesn't see him as a threat.

Joonho says he's holding back because he's rich. Sure you are. Keep telling yourself that. Kyunghoon seems to be pretty rich too, and you tease him just fine.

Note - I do realize that they've said that Sangwon can get away with everything due to his family. I'm sure it does play some role. But it's not everything. Sangwon is exuding dominance in this situation. He's even leaning in a mock little bow and saying "thank you" in a snarky tone. God, I love him and his self-confidence. He has grown on me so much, and I'm only halfway through this show.

Joonho asks if he can't see that he's outnumbered.

Sangwon (in other words): Bring it.

I'm sorry. I've tried to ignore that hideous wall color this entire show, but now we've added what has to be one of the ugliest arrangements known to mankind in front of it. I'm sure there are people who like that kind of thing, but it just makes me wonder why someone thought a feather duster was appealing. Normally I would be trying to figure out if the red meant something, but I just can't. It's an eyesore.

Is Si-a considered part of our gaming party now. I'm not sure. 🤔 They're collectively worrying about Sangwon though.

Si-a asks if Myungha wants to be a model for Swoony (the brand). The pay is better after all. Pay is always an enticing thing.

Myungha tells Si-a to buy him dinner. I'm confused. Why does he want Si-a to buy him dinner? 🤔 Myungha doesn't do things without a purpose. What's the catch?

LMAO. It's because Yeowoon is here. He's giving her the fangirl moment. Yes, she better buy the meal. A good one too.

Wait. Her name has an "h" sound? The subtitles now say "Shi-a". Did I miss that before? No. I'm pretty sure that's a change in subtitles.

Yeowoon looks ticked. My guess is that he thought he was going to get to eat with Myungha alone. He wouldn't be reacting like this if he had known it'd be a fangirl moment. Yeowoon is being very terse. Yes, he seems to be a more introverted, private person. But this is what you do when you're thrown for a loop. Myungha, you really need to give us introverts a heads up for these types of situations. Especially true if you gave us false expectations and now expect us to socialize with someone we are not comfortable around.

I'm still bitter over there being no food at the company meal that I drove two hours to yesterday. Don't promise me food and then give me a non-alcoholic beer instead. Shared meals are sacred. Oh...it's probably this kind of stuff that prompted the anon's "what's with you and food" question the other day. I get it now. Sorry anon. I didn't understand what you were asking.

I'm squirreling. None of that's really relevant. Yeowoon is just upset because he expected alone time with Myungha (pretty sure on that one), and he isn't getting it.

This conversation is awkward. Si-a signals Myungha to please help. Myungha asks Yeowoon if he has any questions. "Are you two close?" I've said all along that I love how direct Yeowoon is with Myungha. If he has questions, he is going to ask them. It's admirable, but lol. He's not looking at Si-a at all. Yeowoon is grilling Myungha.

Myungha responds playfully and tries to direct the conversation back to Si-a. I actually see that as a way of trying to include her in the conversation. He was trying to create a fan moment for her after all. Si-a says they're just colleagues which Yeowoon smiles about. But then Myungha protests that designation.

Yeowoon didn't like that at all. 🤣 "Are you closer to her than you are to me?" I love that Si-a can see this is important to Yeowoon. She's giving Myungha this look that's like "You idiot. Don't you dare make my blorbo upset!"

Myungha says "I only have Yeowoon in my heart" which makes Yeowoon beam. Si-a takes the opportunity to ask for an autograph. Si-a, I know I struggled with you in earlier episodes. I'm sorry. I can respect your non-toxic, supportive fangirl side.

"What do you think of when you run?" "I imagine there's a big crocodile chasing me." Well...that would be motivation I guess. I never imagined what was behind me when I ran. I was always focused on the finish line. Different things for different people I guess.

Ok Yeowoon. Let's not manifest that energy. There are too many trucks of doom in dramaland. And I've had two of my family members hit by vehicles. They survived, but they still have side effects. My brother got hit by a car while he was INSIDE a building.

Anyways, Yeowoon is saying that the vision has changed. He now imagines that someone is waiting for him at the finish line.

Sweet. I wish I knew what his personal affection was at this point though. We're seeing the impact of Myungha's affection level changing in his mannerisms and dialogue, but has it impacted how he sees himself?

Si-a says that's romantic, and Myungha breaks eye contact and visibly shifts. Lol. He felt that one.

We cut to them walking home. Yeowoon tries to ask Myungha about Joonho again, but Myungha says that Yeowoon isn't allowed to say kiss.

We got confirmation that Yeowoon thought it was going to be the two of them. Myungha chastises him a bit saying he needs friends. That's really not the point Myungha.

Yeowoon said that he's annoyed. Myungha says "he's been rude lately". Did he drop honorifics?

Yeowoon says "I want to go play with you". My kinky brain takes that line a completely different way that intended. But he's asking him out really. I LOVE this frame. There's a blinding light of love, but it's mostly over Yeowoon. Yeowoon knows he wants to kiss Myungha. He knows he wants to spend time with Myungha 1-1. Myungha still hasn't come to that realization yet.

It's an amusement park near the sea. Myungha seems hesitant, but he says yes. Wasn't Myungha's mom near the sea? I wonder if that's part of his hesitation. Yeah, there's definitely something there. This means something more to Myungha for some reason. But he's agreeing anyway.

Well hello. 👀 She's pretty. She was hidden initially in the frame, but they've now exposed her as she's asking Si-a for help. Who is she? Is this the person returned from abroad that Kyunghoon mentioned?

We're now in a dream sequence. 100%. "Do it with me too. The kiss."

Based on the game interface, this is Myungha's dream. Fun. Realization is coming. It's a bit of a kabedon moment with the tree. I'm enjoying it, because as confident as Myungha was when he kissed Joonho, he's not confident at all here. He's flustered.

Myungha wakes up.

Yeowoon has been sending him messages. Apparently he woke up early. If you get messages from me at 4 am, it means I haven't went to bed yet. Not unusual.

Myungha has a message from an unknown number. It's referencing children's day, mother's day, and teacher's day. Myungha isn't sure who it's from though. My immediate guess is his mom. But that doesn't make sense. He hasn't had contact with his mom since he was really little.

Is it the heavenly senior? We know information about the game comes to Myungha through his phone. "But no time for me to meet you." It's reminding me of the poem I wrote for my grandfather following his suicide. It wasn't about holidays/time, but about hiking trails. That was our thing. "But no trail that brings me to you." Crap. I'm crying again. This has been a week of tears in BL land. For the record, I cry very little in real life. But I bawl like a baby watching shows. It's cathartic in some ways. I can't analyze this properly. I'm going to read things into this that aren't there. I'm sure this will become a reoccurring event. I'll wait until the next message to figure it out.

Yeowoon came to pick Myungha up, and it looks like he paid for the bus fare for both of them. Cutie. Myungha may not realize it, but Yeowoon is definitely taking him on a date.

The mural next to the bus is of the sea. I could get a better angle this time. Phone keeps translating different based on angle, but it's better than last time. Something about sacred and beautiful love. Something about a lighthouse.

I love that Yeowoon quickly says "Look at the seagulls". There were birds on the mural too. Seagulls are a trip down memory lane for me. I got handed a bone during my oral qualification exams and asked what I could tell the professors about it. It was a seagull bone.

Seagulls have so many different symbolic meanings depending on culture. I know there are a few different takes in literature. There are also a lot of different meanings for them in Native American lore. Some positive, some negative. It depends on the tribe. A lot of it has to do with their ability to navigate in a storm and overcome obstacles if I remember correctly. There might have been something about the connection between physical and spiritual realms which would be interesting given the premise of this show. Like a bridge or messenger between the two. I don't know what they typically means in S. Korea though. I'll dive into that later.

Yeowoon says he should've brought shrimp chips. They're not my favorite, but my sous chef loves shrimp chips.

Oh. We're feeding them to the seagulls? I mean, they'll eat it. It's a fun experience for the human. It probably doesn't give them the nutrients they need.

Myungha asks if Yeowoon likes the sea. Yeowoon says he likes the mountains more. I love them both, but I live closer to the mountains. I've asked my kids this question before. One chose sea. One chose mountains. One chose "Wherever Uncle Zach is". Yeah, I'm not the only one who thinks my brother is awesome.

They're planning to climb mountains. Yeowoon wants to climb "Kongryung". Based on Myungha's reaction, that must be a hard climb. Based on Yeowoon's reaction, I'm guessing it's a long one. "I'm happy to be with you." Myungha doesn't seem sure how to process that.

Yeowoon asks if Myungha has been here before.

This feels like a lie. It's going to be interesting if lying becomes a thing for Myungha. Well-intentioned lies. But lies nonetheless. It might not be a lie though. That's just my gut talking.

They're planning on going to a clam kal-guksu place. I enjoy noodle soups, but I've never had clams in any capacity. They're not very common here. I have dissected one and done an experiment on heart rate for a class though. Not important.

Apparently, Yeowoon doesn't like seafood. And Myungha slips up. He's using information from the manuscript. Yeowoon is rightfully perplexed and then amused that Myungha knows this about him.

"Sometimes it feels like you're someone that knows me."

Yeah, that's probably going to hurt when he realizes Myungha has known about him all along.

All of Yeowoon's little smiles are killing me this episode.

Yeowoon says he now understands why Myungha likes the sea. Did Myungha say he liked the sea? I don't remember that. 🤔 It could be in an earlier episode, or I could have overlooked it. If he likes the sea though - is that why we have a water sound? Yes, I'm still stuck there. My brain is still obsessing over a sound that probably isn't even what I think it is. I curse my brain sometimes.

Yeowoon says "I've come to like it too". Cut away to them sitting on the stairs in their coordinating blue/green shirts.

There is so much I could say about that closing frame, but I know that I'm out of images. Anyways, we're halfway up the stairs. We're building the relationship. We're sitting side by side. We're equal...in this moment at least. There's no railings on this part. It'd be easy to fall off the sides.

The blue/green combo I find interesting, because it's a shift. These two characters have worn a lot of black & white. What does the shift mean? Is it part of their relationship developing or the changing levels of affection?

Is this show even color coded? I'll have to think about that. Because Sangwon also wears a white undershirt. He's definitely not a "heavenly human" type. Wait...is Myungha the ONLY one wearing a different color undershirt as part of their uniform? Is he the only one in black? I guess that makes senses. He's from a "different" world after all. But why black? Actually, Yeowoon's running outfit was in black too when he had the -100 value. So Myungha isn't the only one in black. Nevermind. I was overthinking again.

This was a fun episode. I'm loving that Yeowoon is so open and direct with his feelings. Myungha isn't there yet, but he's beginning to react. Now I just need to convince my brain that it's 4 am and it needs to just let the water sound go. IS IT WATER?!?

Don't tell me. Because if it is water, that means it's important. And if it's not water, I'll eventually realize it wasn't important.

For now, I'll just distract my brain with a more pressing question - what happened to Sangwon?

#love for love's sake #live reaction #korean bl

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vitaminseetarot · 5 months ago

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Back-to-Back PAC Part 1: What is Ending For You? 🌹🔥🌃

Hey, y'all, I'm back for another pick a card reading in time for the end of 2024. I thought I'd make it a little more interesting by having two back-to-back readings, so stay tuned for tomorrow as part 2 rolls out!

Pick any one of the three images above for your reading:

Pile 1 - Sapphire Rose Pile 2 - Carnelian Flame Pile 3 - Amethyst Sky

Pile 1: Sapphire Rose

10 of Pentacles (Rx), Queen of Cups, III Empress, 10 of Swords; Treasure Island, Desert: Vision Quest; "just cuz they put a square on your head doesn't mean you're not still in school"; "Live a vibrant and colorful life despite the circumstances"

Hey there pile 1! I see that for you 2024 was not the start of chaos and challenge but a mere continuation. I feel a good deal of exhaustion with this pile. But I wanna tell you that since you picked pile 1 before 1/1, there's a message that you are still going on the right path even if you sometimes doubt your intentions. Like strong currents and waves of the ocean, our paths can become torrential and unpredictable, with many ups and downs. I feel you've faced through many obstacles in the course of your life so it's tempting to believe that not much will change in 2025. But I see that what's ending for you is the very expectation of said lack. With the 10 of Pentacles reversed, you're breaking down old narratives that no longer work to support you. This requires retooling your brain to think differently about a situation than before, to approach it from a alternate angle. It may require unlearning and relearning, much like pruning an old branch while watering the new.

I'm getting that with Queen of Cups, it's best to do this through loving reminders. I get that many of you in this pile may be resistant to or overly wary of toxic positivity, and that's understandable. A lot of advice online can scrape at the surface and be unable to fully peer into the depths of unique challenges we have had to endure. But we can be gentle with ourselves and take the time we need as we gradually welcome more optimistic affirmations into our minds and shift focus onto what we want instead of don't want. If it feels unrealistic to say to yourself, "2025 is going to be AMAZEBALLS!", then you can try something more grounded like, "2025 is filled with great opportunities."

The odds are, with the Empress, there likely will be a few great opportunities that come your way, like finding small oases filled with nutritious food blossoming in otherwise torrid and barren looking situations. If you're in the mindset to think of 2025 as being abundant and nourishing, then you will be more primed for those opportunities when they arrive. Being positive about the new year doesn't have to negate justifiable concerns, nor does it erase the troubles of the past. But it does prepare you to make the most of what's to come. Honor your past self and what you and your loved ones have gone through in the past twelve months, give yourself a chance to cleanse and heal by the oasis. Then let yourself stand and receive the blessings that are to come in due time. I'm wishing you much luck and good cheer, pile 1! Happy new year!

Pile 2: Carnelian Flame

Queen of Cups, 0 Fool, 7 of Pentacles, IV Emperor; All That Glitters, Spring Equinox: Rebirth; "Yeh I guess I do stuff but I don't feel like an actual thing yet"; "Everything is energy & energy never dies; it just transforms."

How's it going, pile 2? I chose flames for your pile because even though it's the middle of winter, I felt the invigorating energy of my local spring weather cycle in this pile. Everything from the rain to the warmth to the growth to the heat, in the right order! I sense this pile is very enthusiastic at the idea of having an exciting 2025. I don't wanna say that this could be "your year" so to not jinx it, but I'm inspired by the vibrancy in these cards. You feel more than ready to shed the old unwanted parts of the past and welcome the new you. I'm getting that a sense of imposter syndrome is dwindling away as you become more in tune with your emotions, and this is a growth that has taken place over time. As you give yourself more self love and praise for who you are, the more you're able to integrate the humble parts of you that accept learning and growth along with the parts of you that embrace your innate talents and traits.

With All That Glitters beneath the usually jester-like Fool card, You're learning to distinguish between the fake and the real when it comes to acting that you're accomplished and fulfilled from actually being it. It's a big leap to realize that some happiness is genuine, some confidence is real, and that some assertiveness doesn't hurt but might actually help to demonstrate your ability to lead. This kind of energy, the joy and self-assurance, is all yours. This is like a very soft release of an old ego that clung to the character role of playing small and buffoonish. Pile 2, it's time to give yourself some more credit.

I see 2024 as being a year where you realized some kind of personality change, mainly because you had to. It's like when somebody gets a promotion and suddenly it's like they have to take on a "bigger" role to play and it's like they have to grow their feet to fill into bigger shoes, so to speak. They have to change how they perceive themselves and make it real. You had to take on a larger role than you were ready for and it's created a change in views. So what has to end from that are the old thoughts that try to talk you down. Whatever position you're elevating yourself to, you deserve good things from your change, as flowers bloom from the snow. You've gone through the rite of passage, embrace whatever beauty that you will into your world. You don't need to "fake it" to make it in 2025, pile 2, because You Are It! Wishing you a very bright, happy new year!

Pile 3: Amethyst Sky

XVIII Moon, I Magician, VIII Strength, 10 of Wands; Serendipity, Galaxy: Perspective; "Relax, it's still just the loading screen"; "It takes courage to be honest & authentic. The ones meant for you will stay."

Hello, pile 3. You have a lot of major arcana in your spread, which suggests a major ending that may be happening as this reading is being written. You could be in the midst of a huge transition in your life. I'll admit to chuckling a bit when I saw the loading screen card show up underneath the Moon, as I have often thought of the Moon card as being similar to the uncertainty of an intermission. Like when people rise from the theater for the restroom and concession stand, thinking about how the following act will be. There's a bit of trepidation of finding out what's coming next, especially if this last year has really put you through the wringer. Now would be a good time to freshen up with cheer, relaxation, and good snacks if you feel as though 2025 may be "big" for you in any way.

This reading gives me a strange déjà vu as though I've written this in a dream, so perhaps you may wonder if next year will bring a lot of the same baggage of the previous year. But I see here with Magician that you have a lot of power in your hands to mold your new beginnings into what ever you want it to be, and luck is on your side here. You are a video game player of your life here, not a movie goer observing, and next year can be a chance for you to play around with how you'd rather have things be. See how the loading screen resembles the galaxy in the Perspective card? The loading screen is not there to keep you stuck; this downtime can be used to reassess your path and how you want it to go. So if your life right now is quiet, now is a great time to self reflect on your desires and what you would do if you knew you could do anything (ah great, now I'm thinking about that kid from the meme!).

I see you overall ending the feeling of needing to hold onto baggage from the past. You can feel more comfortable changing course even if it means playing the game differently before and after the loading. You don't have to hold onto an old narrative just because it's what others expect from you. Please take time to rest and recharge in between these major transitions you're going through, and know that the next year does not have to be a repeat of the last. You have the power to change and expand more than you know. Wishing you the best of luck pile 3 and have a happy new year!

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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just-a-carrot · 4 months ago

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I'm not really in the mood to make a festive Happy New Year's post. So instead I'll just say... we made it. I made it. You made it. The year is over and we're still here. And that is enough.

It's no real secret by this point but 2024 has been one of the worst years of my life. From constant anxiety and panic attacks over job stability in the spring, to losing two family members, to the depressive spiral I entered after finishing OW, to the second spiral in the fall just when I thought maybe I was finally doing a bit better and everything came crashing back down, my mental health has been worse than it's ever been. And I've spent a lot more nights than I'd like to admit wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. (And downed a lot more sleeping pills than I'd like to admit because it's the only OTC thing I can get to mildly decrease my anxiety and help numb me a bit LOL)

I just want... this year to be over. Even though I have no hope for 2025 either and mostly just feel anxious and hopeless about it. But I will continue trying. Continuing grappling for the bits of joy that can keep me going. And maybe I finally will get a little bit of calm and peace. Who can say. I guess we'll see what 2025 decides to bring. I just really want to feel a bit better finally. And I hope that 2025 might take pity on me and allow me some mental respite.

2024 did have its moments of joy. Despite it sending me into the spiral, I am ofc glad that I finished OW finally this year. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments. And I still can't believe that I put 3 whole years of work into this thing and just how much of my soul went into it. Even if my depression keeps trying to convince me that it (and me) are worthless.

I feel like I grew a lot in my art over the year. Trying new and more complex things. Getting better at composition and poses. Which led into my starting Broomtail, which gave me really the first renewed spark of creative joy since releasing the finale and actually made me excited to work on something again.

Speaking of joy amidst melancholy, DD2 was released this year, and it became the one thing that could keep me going at times. It brought me so much joy and inspiration when nothing else would. And it still holds my heart captive in its grip. From all the DD2 art I did, to the O2A2 game, to my silly tragic music video, to a very self-indulgent fanfic, it gave me so much creative energy, and I want to do more art for it in 2025 too! (And I'm still waiting for that DLC, Capcom...) I can't think of another game ever that's had this much of a hold on me before. Though I do attribute much of that to the fact that in my head it's mostly an OW AU since I could make Iggy and Genzou and play out their tragic love story and it was so beautiful and Genzou was so so sweet and cute GUH. Yeah... that helped a lot.

I think my main goal for 2025 is just to keep trying. To keep surviving. To keep trying to find hope and joy where I can. To believe that I can feel better and things can be better. Even when it's hard. And that hopefully... hopefully I will be able to find some peace in there finally.

I do have various projects I'd like to work on too. Like finishing the remaster, continuing Broomtail, maybe working on another game later on. But I'd rather just think of those as things I'd like to do for myself and because they bring me joy, rather than as any kind of goal or pressure. Especially since I never want to make any promises given the instability of my mental health.

I'm just so tired always. And I hate feeling scared and worthless all the time. I hate feeling trapped. Even if I know it's my own life choices and debilitating fear of change that has led to a lot of this. So it's my own fault in the end. But I hope I can find some solace. And I hope you can, too. I hope 2025 will be a kind year to everyone. And even if it's not, that we can find some joy and hope to help us through it.

Sorry this felt a bit morose LOL I guess I wanted to just take this opportunity to reflect back on the year a bit for some catharsis. I shall now sleep for 24 hours to recover from my flight hahaha.

if you saw this post a day ago for a few seconds i'm sorry -- i was working on it in my drafts and must have accidentally clicked post instead of save(??) somehow(???) idk but it posted and i panicked and deleted it and then had to rewrite it from scratch LOL

#carrot thoughts #art: ow #art: iggy

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ofswordsandpens · 1 year ago

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Finale Thoughts

The show stuck the ending far better than I thought it would and when compared to the preceding episodes it knocks it out of the park. That being said, I think because the bar was so low going in, that it makes this episode feel spectacular when really every episode should have done this well, at minimum.

Solo Lessons and Ares Battle

I'm so happy they included the one-on-one training sessions with Luke since its so essential to foreshadowing. I also liked the setting in the woods but why was it like autumn/fall in the flashback lol? However, I think that did unintentionally add a dreamlike quality to the scene which I did really like so whatever I'm here for it.

That being said I do wish these scenes were in episode 2/3 alongside the other chb stuff instead of being a flashback in the finale because it makes it just so on the nose that Luke's the traitor. However, the shot panning from Luke's extended sword to Percy's on the beach ate I can't lie.

Honestly it may have been interesting if they had established some of the solo lessons early on in episode 3 and then done periodic flashbacks to expand on them throughout the series. That way, its not so obvious that Luke's the traitor in the final hour and we also get cool transition shots and establishing that Percy is thinking about what he's learned from his lessons with Luke.

#Relieved that the Ares and Percy fight was not a single sword strike and then cut to black. Glad we had some action. Still think we should've pushed the limits much harder tho.

Oh but Percy's wave did go hard. They actually made the wave much bigger than what happened in the book and now I'm just sitting here wondering why we couldn't see some more of this instead of 10,000 cut to black scenes every time Percy uses his powers.

I wish we had gotten this Ares's reaction from the book when he lost: "The roar that followed made Hades’s earthquake look like a minor event. The very sea was blasted back from Ares, leaving a wet circle of sand fifty feet wide." Show Ares's reaction seemed so anticlimactic in comparison.

And no curse???? huh??

I know Ares was like "we're enemies 4 life now" but the curse and dialogue from the book goes so unbelievably hard: “You have made an enemy, godling. You have sealed your fate. Every time you raise your blade in battle, every time you hope for success, you will feel my curse. Beware, Perseus Jackson. Beware.”

Why couldn't show Ares say that??

Olympus, Zeus, & Poseidon

[Insert aw, she's ugly John Mulaney Meme]

sorry Olympus could've should've been prettier.

Like Olympus in the book felt a lot more wondrous and lush and colorful. But in the show it seemed so dull. Idk if its cause the "war's happening" or whatever it was just bland. a wash of dull-looking cgi and then an instant cut to the Big Palace.

Lance Reddick's Zeus was amazing tho. He had that godly presence I've been waiting for.

And Toby Stephens's Poseidon? oh I loved it.

I especially loved their conversation in greek.

I still wish however they would have done effects on the gods' eyes. Like glowing with energy or something when they get emotional. I felt like I was waiting to see electricity burst from Zeus when he was yelling at Percy.

And so it turns out that the reason why they changed it to Percy missing the deadline in the show was to create a situation in which Poseidon surrenders a war for his son.

And listen, if this scene existed in a vacuum I'd be so here for it. I guess a part of me can't fathom the solstice being anything other than a hard deadline. I enjoy the scene without context, within context I have mixed feelings about it.

But the "do you dream?" convo between Percy and Poseidon. Oh my god no notes. I loved it.

Some more book dialogue that I wish made it: “You did well, Perseus. Do not misunderstand me. Whatever else you do, know that you are mine. You are a true son of the Sea God.”

Luke's Betrayal

Okay here's where we get some high highs and low lows.

Some things I sincerely liked:

The setting. Fireworks going off in the background. The lantern illuminating the side of Luke's face with the scar. So visually nice.

Luke actively trying to recruit Percy! I've always joked that if Luke was just a little smarter he would have tried to persuade Percy to join his side rather than immediately kill him. And I do like that the show went this direction.

While I do mourn the loss of the scorpion them battling via swords is a great subversion of the sword mentor/mentee dynamic they share. It makes the scene tense and fast pace.

And its all of the above that makes me wonder why we didn't have more of this throughout the show: talking while battling, visually appealing and dynamic settings, unique visuals, etc.

I love how triggered Luke was at Percy's mention of meeting Hermes. I still hate how much Hermes introduction bogged down the show but damn if it didn't lead to one singular funny moment.

Percy getting a hit in on Luke and then immediately apologizing

"I didn't think you'd give the shoes to Grover." Oh that was cold.

Walker and Charlie deserve their flowers and more they were fantastic and carried.

Now things I DIDN'T like:

I don't like how Percy pieced it together with the information he did have... which honestly isn't a lot in the show? If he was going to figure out that Luke was the traitor I would've have had Luke show more of his bitterness like he did in the book. Like the fact the show never even mentioned Luke's failed his quest loses the entire element of Percy succeeding an "impossible" quest and being celebrated while Luke only got a scar and a chip on his shoulder from his failed one.

Luke's scar shoulda been worse idc.

Percy should have been mortally wounded. That's where we run into an issue with there being no scorpion because yeah, a fatal sword injury probably would've been a bit much to depict. I also 10000% think that Luke is enough of a baby to get his daddy issues triggered and then try to off Percy for it even if his original intention was to recruit him.

Also the fact that you see Luke raise his sword for a damning blow and then the very next day you have Percy like "I don't think Luke was trying to kill me." and Chiron agreeing? asdlkfjsdlkf WRONG.

Also, sorry, I don't like that Annabeth was there.

But if you're gonna have Annabeth there, her reaction to Luke betraying her and trying to hurt Percy should've been way more severe than a solemn "I heard everything."

She shoulda been crying, questioning, yelling even if she had suspected him. It's one thing to suspect it, it's another to see the person you consider your family to actually prove it true.

(And this isn't on Leah! It's 100% on the directors cause what was the thought process here? Her brother figure betrays her and she's like :/)

And sure, in the book Annabeth isn't actually all that surprised by Luke's betrayal when Percy tells her about it... but we also never got to see her initial reaction to it. Percy was out for 2 days.

Just, if book Annabeth had been there, she would've been so emotional and that's okay!! let Leah show off her chops!

Sally

I mourn book Sally. I mourn her arc. I mourn the power of Sally unapologetically petrifying Gabe with Medusa's head.

One of the most iconic storylines from the book and it was sanitized in the show to the point that it lost all sense and meaning.

Honestly one of the biggest disappointments of the show for me.

Other

I love the fact that a flower is the searcher's license for satyrs its just so silly and sweet.

I love Annabeth sincerely hugging Percy but also using it for strategizing purposes it feels very on point for her.

Also her braids at the end!! so sweet!

I am very very bitter that Percy didn't see the fates. This + the changes made to Sally's characterization and arc... the show truly doesn't get it.

#pjo show crit #probably need to edit this its likely riddled with typos but

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lucy90712 · 1 year ago

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reader x pedri where pedri gets taken care of/sleepy and tired

Today has been a long day my boyfriend Pedri had to leave the house quite early this morning as he had an away game this evening so I had to wake up and say goodbye and wish him good luck. The team played really well and they got a good win which I wish I could've been there to see but I can never really go to away games as I have other things to do at home. The one thing I try and always do is stay up to greet Pedri when he comes home even if it's late I like to see him to either congratulate or console him based on the result. Every time he tells me not to stay up but I know he likes it when I'm there to greet him at the door.

Tonight's game was a champions league game so the team have a bit of a longer flight but I got a text around 20 minutes ago from Pedri telling me he's on his way home. That means he should be home any minute now at nearly 3am and hopefully we can both go to bed because I'm exhausted so I can't imagine how tired Pedri is. I heard a car pulling into the driveway and our security cameras confirmed that it was Pedri which I knew it would be but I always have to check. It took a few minutes but eventually I heard the front door opening so I got myself up to greet Pedri, as soon as I saw him I could tell he was exhausted and a lot more than usual. His eyes looked really tired and he didn't seem to have any energy left as he dropped his bag on the floor and nearly fell over taking his shoes off.

"Hey love congratulations you did so well out there" I said

"Thanks it was good to play again" Pedri said coming over and putting his arms around my waist and his head in the crook of my neck

"You should've gone to bed it's late and you have work in the morning" Pedri said still attached to me

"You know I like to wait for you to come home plus I can't sleep knowing you are on your way home how about we go to bed now though I can tell you are really tired" I said

Instead of letting go of me so we could go to bed he only held onto me tighter. Pedri can be clingy sometimes but I've never seen him this clingy usually he just wants my attention for a bit so we will cuddle but right now it seems as though he won't survive if he's isn't attached to me. I know it's because he's tried and in the morning since he's had some sleep he won't be this clingy but I kind of love it. We don't often get much time together sometimes so it's moments like this that I love to just soak up but we can't stand here all night because Pedri's right I do have work in the morning and he clearly needs sleep too.

I felt awful trying to escape his arms but I knew he understood because he didn't put up a fight instead he just grabbed my hand and we walked upstairs together. I got ready for bed hours ago but Pedri still needed to brush his teeth and get changed so I left him to do that while I sorted his stuff out for him. Usually when he gets home after an away game he leaves his bag by the door and deals with it in the morning but tonight I decided I'd just do it for him. All I had to do was put some things in the wash and put away everything else which didn't take me too long. While putting things away I noticed that Pedri had one of the matching bracelets we got when we first started dating from a tourist shop as a joke. Of course I still have mine too but I didn't realise that he took his with him to games and that just melted my heart as he's secretly such a sentimental person and no one else gets to really see that side of him.

By the time I had sorted everything out and went back to the bedroom Pedri was already in bed but he had sorted out the pillows on my side of the bed and had the covers prepared for me to just get in. I crawled in and straight away Pedri put his arms around my waist and cuddled into my side moving around until he was comfortable. Most nights he likes me to sleep nearly on top of him but sometimes he's a bit more cuddly like tonight and I love that. Pedri is always taking care of me just in general but especially when I've had a long day and I'm tired so getting to do the same for him feels really good and I feel like I'm finally getting to give back a fraction of what he does for me.

As much as he’s tired he won’t go to sleep until he knows I’m settled and ok so to get him to go to sleep I started running my hands through his hair. He loves when I play with his hair and scratch his scalp it nearly always sends him to sleep. As soon as my hands touched his hair he tucked his head further into my neck and I could hear his breathing slow down as he finally let himself relax. Pedri was right on the verge of falling asleep but I still felt him gently kiss my neck as he realised he hadn’t kissed me goodnight which he does every night.

“Goodnight love you” Pedri whispered

“Love you too now get some sleep” I whispered back kissing his head

Within minutes he was lightly snoring but I stayed up for a bit longer making sure he was sleep before I too went to sleep to get a few hours sleep before I have to get up for work.

#pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pedri #football imagine #pedri gonzalez imagine

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variousqueerthings · 9 months ago

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smthinsmthin this not long after the whole "oh noooooo i simply cannot be in relationships because uh.. the Work! it is bad for relationships for Reasons. danger Reasons. this is very well-reasoned (ofc it is, Joan is nothing if not reasonable at all times), but also it lets me off the hook for more romantic relationships. oh drat. I guess."

and me linking the growing wardrobe switch from "I am a professional but very attractive, conventional (promise), yet highly tasteful dresser who thinks very much about how I come off to others as a woman in this kind of field who doesn't want to close off my Prospects, because I know it seems flighty (as she says to Andrew's father), but I swear I'm a well put-together person! look how beautifully this dress drapes!" to "actually I wear ties a lot now. I like ties. I like shirts. (when she gets braver she's in all-suit outfits)." (also if I were more observant/had energy I'd make a spreadsheet of all the clothes she wears to see signs of these more "considered masculine" forms of dress as early as s1, because I think they were there... but alas, not this time)

it's such a subtle gender shift in her from performing some kind of Womanhood that balances out the "oddness" of her life, with embracing what this life means for her as an individual who doesn't have to perform the role of traditional Womanhood at the same time (similar to how she wants a child, but doesn't feel the need to have a partner to do so -- s1 Joan would never have been able to do that), and I was wondering how soon after Andrew's death we'd start seeing wardrobe shifting clues... turns out within the very same season

interesting

like she is going from Woman (performative/uncomfortable in her skin/unsure how to balance the paradoxes within herself/wishing to please her mother/trying to be what a woman Should Be) to woman (tailored suits)

and from what I remember this shift simply happens gradually, it's never commented on how dramatically and eventually permanently (if I remember correctly) her wardrobe changes. it's such a Choice and I don't know if it was meant to link to this "embracing the person she actually is (a detective aromantic)" but it certainly does in the timeline...

#joan watson #elementary #elementasquee #cbs elementary #this too is gender transition #gender via aromantic transition #THE OVERLAP BETWEEN WHO YOU ARE FOR OTHERS (that is romantic/platonic/sexual norms do not suit you)#AND WHO YOU ARE FOR YOURSELF (your gender and how you express it)#elementary meta

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maddie-dog-story-blog · 10 months ago

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Sarah's Playground - 1

As I looked around the park near my apartment, I couldn't help but appreciate how beautiful the weather was. The sun was shining and there was a light breeze keeping it warm, but not to hot. It was perfect tank top and skirt weather, and I was taking full advantage of that.

My name is Sarah Jenkins. I'm 22 years old, blonde, and, if you don't mind me saying so myself, beautiful. I love this type of weather, because it really lets me show off the curves that I've worked hard for. Okay, so maybe not that hard, but I still like showing them off.

You see, about six months ago I was at a garage sale and came across this beautiful ruby necklace for sale. The old woman running the sale sold it to me for a steal, but gave some cryptic advise of 'being careful what you wish for,' and some other bullshit nonsense.

That night, I wore the necklace out for drinks with my girlfriends. At one point, I said something like, "I wish we had some more drinks," and, like magic, some dude immediately bought our table a round.

Now, I have been into the ABDL scene for a bit and understood pretty quickly what was going on based on all of the smutty diaper-fetish fiction I'd read. The old lady at the garage sale was clearly a witch and sold me a magic amulet that granted all of my wishes. Score.

I also realized pretty early on that I would have to been careful as I altered the world, because, I know based on those same stories, magic like this can have a downside if you aren't careful with it. So, for the last six months, I've been incredibly careful. That said, I've also changed a lot of things.

One of the first things I changed was my body. I was never bad looking, but, I had a dream. You see, I have always wanted to be the perfect, most beautiful ABDL Mommy possible. So, I made myself into my dream Mommy. I'm 6'6" tall. My double-D breasts are firm and, more often than not, full of breast milk, ready to feed any hungry adult baby.

I am also fit. I gave myself a large, feminine ass, but the whole thing is made of muscle. I can lift most other adults and easily carry them like small children. My arms are ripped, and I have large hands perfect for spanking disobedient littles.

I've also changed the world to better suit my fantasies. Currently, based on my wishes, when people turn 18, 25 percent of people are randomly forced to regress to adult babies by society. Those people are forced to act like giant toddlers for the rest of their lives. Other people can adopt and care for that portion of the population, doing to them whatever they want, within reason.

Looking out across the park on this beautiful day, I am pretty happy with how things turned out. Beyond the normal sights of parents and their children playing at the playground, young men and women out on runs or sun bathing, and elderly couples out for a stroll, the park is filled with adults of all shapes and sizes acting like the giant babies I've turned them into.

I stopped and watched as one particulary cute young woman wearing nothing but a yellow onesie and gigantic diaper squats down, balls up her fists, and pushes a huge mess into her pants. I watched as she blushed, her adult mind aware of how humiliating it was to shit her pants, but unable to stop herself out of fear of being punished for violating the rules of society I created.

Being the bad witch in charge feels so good!

I continued my stroll through the park, enjoying watching two 30-year-old men in nothing but diapers crawl in a sandbox as there caregivers looked on like disinterested parents letting their kids get energy out at the park.

As I continued, I saw an 18-year-old woman beant over an older man's lap, her bare ass in the air and a pull-up bunched around her ankles.

"Naughty girl! You are an adult baby now, not an adult! You do not take your pull-up off! I'm going to have to demote you to diapers for this!" The man said as he ruthlessly spanked the young woman, who was clearly struggling with her new lot in life.

It's music to my Mommy Domme ears.

Speaking of ears, what was that noise? I reached into my purse and found my cellphone alarm going off. Was it time to go home already? My tits ached. It must be feeding time for my own little ball of joy.

To bad I can't bring her out here. For my own amusement, I've left my own adult baby completely aware of how the world was prior to my intervention. When I take her out in public, she tends to make a scene. Oh well! Time to get back to Mommy duty!

I started walking down the quickest path home, the ruby necklace dangling in my ample cleavage glittering in the sunlight.

NEXT CHAPTER

#ab/dl stories #ab/dl story time #ab/dl kink #ab/dl babygirl #md/lg #ab/dl diaper #girl in diapers #md/lg kink #ab/dl mommy #Sarah's Playground

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french-unknown · 1 year ago

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Hello!! I hope you are having the loveliest week and happy new year! I'd love to see the sleepy!strawhat pirates :) thank u!

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐘

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji, robin 𝐂/𝐖: fluff 𝐀/𝐍: Hello! I also wish you the loveliest week and happy new year! Have a wonderful year 2024 with the best of health! (-‿◦ ) 𝐖/𝐂: 730+

| m a s t e r l i s t | |

𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘

✧ With Luffy, there are two atmospheres.

✧ The first is after grueling fights or if he is poisoned, he is the type to drop like a fly without going through the "sleepy" phase. One moment he is fully conscious, and the next he is so asleep that even a cataclysm will not wake him.

✧ He can also fall asleep at the worst times!

✧ Otherwise, he continues to jump around screaming for meat or his teammates until he no longer has a single atom of energy in his body.

✧ When he is in between awake and asleep, he will become quite childish.

✧ A pro at staying awake as long as possible while moaning "I don't want to sleep" when everyone sees 100 kilometers away that he can no longer keep his eyes open.

✧ When he falls asleep, it will FINALLY be silence.

𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎

✧ He is used to naps so the habits are there.

✧ You know he is tired when you see him wandering around to find his little corner of the sun where he can do his sleeping beauty with, obviously, always a place to religiously put his swords within reach.

✧ He is a routine man so the corners are always the same on the boat.

✧ He also becomes a lot grumpier. Sanji has no interest in dragging him around.

✧ If you ask him something at that moment, he huffs but he does it. He still drags his feet like a teenager and you don't need a doctorate in archeology to understand that it annoys him. But he likes you so he will still do what you want.

✧ He will fall asleep as soon as he is in place. It's almost automatic.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

✧ Sleepy Nami is more irritable than usual.

✧ As soon as she gets a chance to go into bed, she will grab it like it's a mountain of berries.

✧ She has trouble falling asleep because of the annoyance.

✧ She may be tired as hell, but she won't be able to relax enough to fall asleep quickly.

✧ At some point, she will be too cold so she covers herself in blankets. Then she will be too hot so she takes off the covers. But she will have discomfort in her back so she changes positions. Except that the music that Franky and Brook have been singing all day will be stuck in her head.

✧ There's no point in speaking to her in these cases otherwise, it's guaranteed death!

✧ She also tends to steal every blanket imaginable in order to make the most comfortable bed possible.

𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐏𝐏

✧ A tired Usopp is much slower than usual. He walks slower, talks slower and thinks slower.

✧ He also complains a lot more.

✧ Expect dramatic “But I want to sleeeeeeeeeep!” as if he was going to die or solemn "Chopper, I don't think I could go any further. Go without me, I will only slow you down" under the panicked cries of the reindeer.

✧ The most significant signal is when he starts jumping at everything and nothing.

✧ At the slightest noise, he jumps several centimeters as if he had just been awakened from micronaps, standing with his eyes open.

✧ He also rubs his eyes more.

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈

✧ To say it gets clingy is an understatement.

✧ Until he finally falls asleep at midnight, he will be stuck to you like a mussel to a rock.

✧ He's constantly hugging you from behind or putting his arm around your shoulders. His arms will look more like chains than human limbs after a while.

✧ He pouts if you move away.

✧ Will beg you to go to bed early with him for cuddles.

✧ The rest is up to you.

✧ If he's having trouble sleeping, running your hand through his hair will work wonders. Really. He would kill for the slightest sign of affection when he is half asleep.

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍

✧ A sleepy Robin doesn't change much compared to usual.

✧ The only signal is that she is slightly more distracted.

✧ If you ask her a question, it will take a few seconds before she looks away from the blank space and turns her confused eyes to you so that you repeat what you said.

✧ She's not really trying to fight sleep.

✧ As soon as she mysteriously disappears without warning from your side, you know where to find her. She will already be comfortably asleep in her bed without waiting for you to arrive.

✧ Pretty sleeper by excellence, by the way.

Wow, you find my 4th Easter Egg! take this ψ lemon meringue pie ψ, it's my favorite pastry

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @iheartamora @bontensh0e @opchara @idsmash717 @lys-ada @viscade @parkyrr @yasmiinberkaa @dozcan123 @anotherproblemsos @cellgore @sketchmilk @kai-wifey @clovernumber3 @radiorowrites

#one piece #one piece x reader #luffy #luffy x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #nami #nami x reader #usopp #usopp x reader #sanji #sanji x reader #nico robin #nico robin x reader

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toskarin · 9 months ago

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How do you feel about elden ring/SOTEs music?

vanilla had its moments but it was just okay at first blush. honestly one of the weaker modern fromsoft soundtracks, which was probably a big exaggerated in my case just because Radahn's theme didn't really hit for me

that being said, SotE's music was good enough that it changes my assessment of the vanilla soundtrack, too. it hit all the notes I'd hope for, and because it had so many good callbacks, it made the vanilla soundtrack more memorable to me overall

Elden Ring suffered a lot from having a much more grounded soundtrack for the most part, which is a trait it shares with Armored Core 6 (sorry), but SotE's willingness to go over the top and dip into more distinctive sounds while also weaving in more motif connections felt like it solved my criticisms pretty concisely

now, with SotE, I feel pretty confident saying it has an excellent soundtrack overall

my biggest remaining complaint is that I wish vanilla had that energy from the start, because then I could have confidently said it was my favourite soundtrack of that year

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starcatching · 14 days ago

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Get to Know Your Tumblr Mutuals

i was tagged by @hwanswerland thank you and please forgive me for being one million years late i thought i posted this but it stayed in my drafts😭💗

What's the origin of your username? -> i just thought it sounded cute, plus it's a little nod to my love for all things space <3

OTP(s) + shipname -> i don't really have one🤷

Song stuck in my head -> FUFN by jade

Weirdest habit/trait -> i don't know if it's weird because people either get it or they don't but.. no outside clothes allowed on the bed!!! i don't care if i've been outside for 5 minutes or 5 hours, those clothes are not touching my bed affsfs

Hobbies -> mostly reading and writing, but also rollerblading, piano, giffing, fashion, and falling into weird wikipedia rabbit holes. learning random useless facts should be my main hobby fr💀

If you work, what's your profession? -> i'm an HR specialist, but right now i also help out small local fashion stores on the side-whenever they get new pieces in i wear the clothes for photos they use on their socials. so it kind of balances out the terrible corporate vibe lmao

If you could have any job you wish what would you have? -> i wish to not be in need of a job 😭

Something you're good at -> i'm really good at planning. i think i have a sharp eye for detail so whether it's throwing together a last-minute trip or organizing a complex project i can break it all down and make sure everything's covered. also i've got a weird knack for fixing tech stuff - like i'll just quickly read up on it or just start tinkering and somehow it always works out

Something you hate -> spiders....ai art.... and the government👊😡👊

Something you forget -> to live in the present

Your love language -> oof, good question… i'd say quality time just because i'm the definition of an "errand friend." need someone to go grocery shopping with? i got you. getting the oil changed in your car? i'm on my way. need someone to hold your hand at the dentist? i'll be there ily. oh and also BANTER

Favourite movies/shows -> omg too many tv shows to list.. but off the top of my head i'd say mr. robot, black sails, and succession are some of my top shows. i'm not the biggest movie person but i love sci-fi/fantasy in general

What were you like as a child? -> easily entertained 😂 i could spend 5 hours playing outside or just as long customizing and building stuff in the sims. i used to draw a lot too, and that's something i'm sad i stopped doing because i was pretty good at it

Favourite subject in school -> literature, english and physics

Least favourite subject -> p.e.

What's your best/worst character trait? -> loyalty. if i care about you i'm all in, ride-or-die, no questions asked. your enemies are my enemies now lol. worst: tie between being conflict-avoidant and a perfectionist to the point it's lowkey self-destructive😎✌️

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? -> i wish i had more energy AND time to do everything i want to

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? -> there's no one specific and i don't wanna get all sad with it so maybe i'd just hit up a concert from back in the day. or honestly? i'd jump a few years into the future out of pure curiosity. but not too far... kinda nervous about what mess we might've made of the planet by then

no pressure tags <3 @artbora @applejongho @cordiallyfuturedwight @raplinenthusiasts @rashfcrd

#things i'm tagged in

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ash-asteroid · 2 years ago

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Winx "Flower Princess" gowns redesign kinda.

I say kinda because I struggle with dresses. And it's more practice for me. Man, I can't believe I was a winx kid that draws and can't design dresses. Probably a by-product of my "I'm not like other girl phases." Anyway gonna ramble about the designs a little.

I did the flower princess ones first because they are my least favorite gowns of the series. I think it's mainly the flowers, so I tone them down, having them being more like accents. Also forgot to design earings for most of them smh.

Bloom I had a lot of trouble. These dresses were used while they were "politicing," so I originally wanted to make Bloom look like her dress was from Domino. But I didn't like how it turned out, probably because Marion was my only reference for a dress (unless there's some background fairy in a dress from Domino. I'm too lazy to check.) So I went back to the general princess vibe instead for all of them. But if I were to redesign them again, I'd love to mix their homeworld's fashion with the typical fairytale princess look.

I have nothing really to say for Flora or Stella. But I wanted to change Flora's hair because I thought it was too casual. Wish I did something other then a bun looking back.

Skipping to Tecna for a second. I did base her dress off those "furtistic" dresses, which is just minimalism, really. And had to change Tecna's purple because if you grey scale the purple and green in the original design, it's pretty much to the same. I do like the color I chose, especially for the contrast, but I feel like it's a little too dark and messes with the vibe a little. Also gave her pants under her dress. I was just about to go on a tangent, but I'll just add it to the end.

Finally, for Musa and Aisha. Idk I felt like their hair didn't fit the vibe. I love them, but they didn't really go with the regal look, and more look like prom hairstyles. For Musa's dress, I wanted the front to be open and have her wear shorts. It just felt like a hint of masculine in a pretty feminine design. Aisha's dress really made me realize I need to look at more dresses because I was struggling with ideas. The rnd result is fine, but man, I need to work on more on gowns.

Anyway, heres me rambling about masculine Tecna. It has no real clear thought or direction and only losely ties to the redesign but whatever.

Hi to nobody, probably. If you are here you should tell me 👉👈. Anyway, I see Tecna and Musa as the most masculine. Musa is the most outloud about it, while you might not even notice how masculine Tecna is. Up until season 6, really. Tecna, for the most part, wore shorts or pants. Dress was saved for the gowns. Her skirts were usually pretty short, and something about them had masculine vibes. I can't quite explain it, but there is pretty simple I can almost think a few are shorts. Personally, I headcanon that Tecna doesn't care for dresses at all. Maybe if she has to, but that's it (maybe I'm projecting, idk. Granted irl, I'm not comfortable with dresses or skirts at all. So partial projecting.)

Basically, I think Tecna should wear suits instead of gowns. And Musa should wear something in between for that non binary energy.) But imagine a gender confused Musa going to her roomie Tecna for advice because Tecna is way more comfortable with leaning a lot more masculine.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#winx tecna #winx aisha #winx flora #winx stella #winx bloom #winx musa #winx club #winx club fanart #winx redesign #winx season 5 #winx #ash art

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scoopsahoy · 2 years ago

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ok I've seen arguably too many "Steve takes your virginity" fics but not enough "you take Steve's virginity". maybe you could do it where the reader has seen him and a girl go into a bedroom at parties and stuff but he reveals that they don't do anything besides make out and/or talk because he didn't feel truly connected to anyone, but he does with the reader, and you're his first. doesn't have to be exactly that but I'd love to see smth like this. (also set before he and Nancy get together!)

ぺ word count ⋰ 2.1k

✰ tw ⋰ none :)

❍ cw ⋰ swearing, dirty talk, fingering, descriptive sex, top!reader

✐ masterlist

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★

What started out as getting paired up as lab partners with Steve Harrington in chemistry class turned into eating lunch together a handful of times, then sitting together at assemblies. But you'd never hung out away from school, which is why it sort of caught you by surprise when he asked you out after class one day.

Obviously you agreed.

Now, you were in his passenger seat looking up at what stars you could see, rain clouds blocking a good amount of them.

You'd been making good conversation the whole time, but after a brief moment of comfortable silence, he decided to change the subject.

"I heard about you and Joey. Sucks."

You nodded. "Yeah. That was weeks ago, though."

"How long were you guys together?"

"Eight months. It's fine. I kinda got the feeling that he wasn't looking for anything long term. Asshat didn't even dump me in person. He called me at like midnight one night to do it. I thought he might've been drunk but nope. He was completely sober."

"What'd he say?"

"Apparently he'd been eyeing a girl in his gym class. He came close to sleeping with her that night before he called."

"Damn."

"Yeah. On one hand, I'm glad he didn't cheat on me, you know?" Steve nodded. "But on the other hand, I almost wish he didn't tell me why he was ending it. Maybe that's just me, though."

"No, it's not just you."

You smirked at him. "Thanks." You looked at each other for a moment. "So... Betty Thompson, huh?"

"What about her?"

"What do you mean, 'what about her'? I saw you guys the other night at Jackson's party."

"What did you see, exactly?"

"I saw her pull you into one of the bedrooms and shut the door."

"Oh, yeah."

"She's really nice. Good for you."

"Yeah. We didn't... do anything, though."

Your brows dipped in confusion. "What? Nothing?"

"No."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't really feeling it. She's sweet and everything. We just didn't... click. Sexually."

"Mm. So what girls have you clicked with? Sexually." You threw in that last part sarcastically.

He shook his head. "None of 'em."

At this point you felt like he was messing with you.

"Not a single one?"

"I mean, we've gotten along in every other way, and I've kissed a few of them and done some other stuff. It just never moved past that."

"What about the first one?" He was silent, staring at the stars. That was when you understood. "Steve... You haven't-"

"No. I haven't. I've only ever felt that click with one person, but I don't know if it'll ever lead to anything."

"Who is it?" He looked at you, still not saying anything. "What?" He still didn't speak. "Is it me?"

He hesitated to nod. "I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I don't mean for it to."

"It doesn't." He raised his eyebrows. "Not at all."

"Good."

"What is it about me?"

"You're just... more genuine than most of them. With a lot of them it felt like they were only nice because they thought it would lead to sex, not because they were actually nice, you know?" You nodded. "But with you, you're just a really kind person. To everyone."

"Oh."

The energy in the car had shifted, and it started to feel like the space was getting smaller. You reached over and grabbed his hand, which was warm.

"Y/N..."

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

You felt your chest tighten a bit. This wouldn't be your first kiss, but it was the first time you'd been asked for permission to kiss you.

You nodded, and you inched your faces closer to each other. His lips were soft and gentle on yours, and he was almost hesitant.

You reached up and cupped the side of his face, pulling him closer, and his nervousness lifted away and he leaned in to kiss you more firmly.

You pulled away after a moment, your faces inches apart.

"Wanna move to the backseat?" you asked, slightly out of breath.

He nodded immediately, and you crawled over the middle console and rather ungracefully landed in the backseat.

When he joined you, you positioned your bodies so that he was sitting in the middle with you on top of him. Your knees landed on either side of his hips and you sat on his thighs.

You craned your head down to kiss him, but you could feel anxiety radiating off of him, so you stopped after a moment.

"Are you okay?" you asked, pulling back enough to look at him.

"Are you seriously asking me that right now?"

"You seem nervous."

"I am. But I'm excited."

You smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I just... I don't know what I'm doing."

"It's okay. We'll start here." You grabbed his hands and pulled them up to your waist. "How's that?"

"Good."

"How about this?" You pulled his hands up to your breasts, and his breath staggered. "Better?" He nodded. You reached down and grabbed the bottom of your shirt, slowly dragging it up and over your head, exposing your top half and leaving only your bra to cover it.

But that came off just as quickly, your entire upper half bare and unprotected.

His eyes were wide as moons, and you led his hands back up to them. "Okay?" you asked.

"Way better than okay."

You laughed quietly at that. One of his hands trailed to your back and pulled you closer to him, allowing him to plant kisses across your chest. Your hands landed on his shoulders as he left soft, wet spots on your skin.

After a moment, you reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, studying his body. It was littered with moles and freckles and his skin was smooth.

You bent down to press your lips to the right side of his neck and shoulder, making him sigh with satisfaction. His hands slipped down and landed on your thighs, the pads of your fingers pressing into your skin.

Your fingers began unbuttoning his jeans and he lifted his hips, pulling them down his thighs and leaving them pooled at his ankles. You could see a tent in his boxers that had been restricted by his jeans, and it made you bite your lip.

You awkwardly maneuvered to pull your shorts and underwear off, leaving you completely nude in his lap. He looked down and his lips separated, which made your chest go red.

"Steve," you said, getting his attention. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm good."

He pulled you back in for a kiss and you jumped when you felt two fingers on your clit. You softly gasped into his mouth and he smirked.

"I thought this was your first time."

"I never said I didn't do this part."

One of your hands gripped the seat behind him and the other squeezed his shoulder. His fingers were making almost unbearably slow circles, but when you ground into his hand, he sped up.

"Shit, Steve," you moaned into his mouth as your hands moved back to cupping his face.

One thing you'd come to notice since you became sexually active was how little time you lasted with stimulation to your clit. Granted, it was a lot quicker when it was a tongue than with fingers, but it was never more than a minute. You were just hoping it wouldn't be a turnoff for him.

With your hips slowly yet uncontrollably grinding into his hand combined with how quickly his fingers moved, you knew this orgasm would come ridiculously quick.

You couldn't resist breaking the kiss, both of your hands gripping his shoulders tightly as you pressed your foreheads together.

"Steve, I'm so close. I'm gonna cum."

He kept going, looking at you as your eyebrows dipped down so far that it made your skin wrinkle.

As quickly as that coil in your belly formed, it broke. You gasped deeply, your legs trembling as your entire body convulsed. You involuntarily thrust your hips back and forth as you came, making the car rock with you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you moaned in a high pitched and desperate voice, your nails pressing into his skin.

He kept you cumming until you had to move his hand away, letting your orgasm fade out.

Your breath was shaky, your thighs twitching. His hand landed on your hip, his thumb gently stroking your skin.

"Sorry," you whispered breathlessly.

"Sorry? For what?"

"That was quick. I hope that didn't, like, kill the mood or anything."

"Are you kidding? That was hot."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

You kissed him with a smile, a moment later whispering into his ear, "Take your boxers off."

Without hesitation, he lifted his hips again and pulled his underwear off, his boner springing free.

You raised your eyebrows as the sight. He was a bit bigger than what you preferred, but you couldn't stop from biting your lip at seeing it. You reached down and wrapped your fingers around his girth, slowly stroking.

He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, throwing his head back and resting it on the top of the seat. You covered his neck and throat in wet kisses and he softly moaned at the combined sensations.

"Do you have a condom?" you whispered, pulling your hand away.

"Yeah, in my wallet." You reached into the cupholder behind you and grabbed his wallet, pulling out the plastic-wrapped condom and tearing it open with your teeth.

"You're sure about this?" you asked.

"Oh, yeah."

You nodded and reached down, rolling the condom over his erection.

"Ready?"

"Mhm. Ready."

You positioned him at your entrance and slowly sunk down onto him, making both of you whimper.

"Is that okay?" he asked.

"Oh, god, Steve. So good."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." The pitch of your voice was a bit higher than you intended for it to be, but it was a huge turn on for him to hear you whine.

His eyes remained glued to your face as you slowly bounced, unintentionally moaning when you took all of him.

You kept this slow pace for a moment, trying to adjust to his size. But when you did finally get used to it was when the car began to rock. You squeezed his shoulders and reconnected your lips, soft moans tumbling from your lips and past his.

That was when raindrops started hitting his car, which neither of you noticed. The sounds of skin against skin, panting, and the creaking of the car masked any outside noises that could've possibly intruded. Your eyes were shut, your head thrown back.

"Shit," you whimpered as he left sloppy kisses all over your neck and chest.

"Is it still okay?" he asked, genuine concern in his voice.

"More than okay. So good."

"Y/N?" This time, he sounded embarrassed.

"Yeah?" You looked down to make eye contact, but you didn't stop your movements.

"I think... since it's my first time-"

"Are you close?" All he could do was nod. "That's okay. Cum whenever you want to."

Your encouraging words were more than arousing, and you began kissing his neck again. You could tell with how tightly his fingertips were pressing into your hips that he was close, even before he said anything.

Your lips against his skin drove him crazy, and when he began slightly bucking his hips up into you, you knew he was right there on the edge.

"Cum for me, Steve."

And within seconds, he was melting into the seat, pulling your body into his, and thrusting hard into you. His moans were like music to your ears and you could tell he was in heaven.

When you eventually stilled your movements, he didn't move. He stayed completely still aside from his heavy breathing, his head leaned back.

You cupped his face, angling his head up so he could look at you. You kissed him gently, which made him grin.

When you pulled away, you combed his hair out of his face with your fingers.

"Okay?" you asked.

He nodded quickly. "Oh yeah."

You looked out the window at the rain, smiling to yourself.

"I wonder when that started."

You turned back to him, and he tucked your hair behind your ear.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?"

"Not judging me."

"What would I judge you for?"

"It was my first time, and I didn't last long."

"No guy lasts long their first time."

"Even Joey?"

"Please. It took him not even five seconds to finish the first time. This was much better."

That made him smile. "I'm glad. Next time it'll be longer, I promise."

You tilted your head a bit. "Next time, huh?"

"I mean, if you want to."

You kissed him. "Of course, I do."

He nodded. "Sweet."

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