#lost love back in west indies

[transmascsteveharrington]

Sometimes Eddie can't believe that they've made it. He'll look at Steve, like right now across the lawn, watches him teaching little Emma how to put sausages and burgers on the grill, and Eddie still can't believe it.

For the longest time as a teen Eddie was convinced he would end up in the 27 Club. Trying to escape the reality of his meager life expectancy as a queer freak trailer trash kid in a small town in bumfuck Indiana by glamorizing going out with a sex, rock'n'roll, and drugs fuelled bang before the age of 30. He never thought it would be an angry mob of jocks and a thunderstorm of bloodhungry demobats that would almost take him out before the age of 20.

Eddie only managed to step away from death's door thanks to the miracle that is Steve Harrington. And he truly is a miracle. Not just because he carried Eddie's half-dead body out of the upside down and nursed him back to health. Not just because he helped get Eddie's name cleared and his charges dropped. No, everything about Steve felt like a goddamn miracle. The way he smiled, his bitchy but entertaining little jabs, the taste of his chicken noodle soup, the way he would comfort everyone who needed it. But the most miraculous thing to Eddie had been that Steve had chosen him. Had fallen in love with him. Had stayed with him.

Still feels like a miracle every morning when Eddie wakes up in Steve's arms both of their bodies aching. As if he could tell what Eddie is thinking Steve looks up from the grill and finds Eddie's eyes. He gives Eddie that private little smile, the smile that means, "you too are my miracle." Because Steve feels the exact same.

It took a couple more months and for Eddie and Steve to leave the god-forsaken small town of Hawkins behind for Eddie to believe that he might make it past 27. They moved to Indy first and then later to Chicago. Shabby apartments became home and strangers became friends, confidants, people that turned out to be just like Steve and Eddie and Robin. And then some of those friends started dying. Eddie kinda lost count of how many funerals they went to during those years. Is thankful every day that they made it, is thankful for all the friends that did make it.

He watches some of them across the lawn or on the porch, chatting, carrying potato salad, laughing and lifting up their kids or even grandkids. Eddie watches them all and takes in the miracle that is grey hair and wrinkles, looks at Steve and loves how the nickname "The Hair" doesn't quite apply anymore, curses the pain in his own back and kinda sees it a little bit as a blessing at the same time. As a reminder that they have made it. As a reminder that they get to have this, that despite supernatural powers and bigoted people they got to have this.

They got to grow older and will continue to grow older. They got to get married (three times: once in Amsterdam, once in Massachusetts and once last year in their backyard renewing their vows, celebrating gay marriage being legalized). Two arms warp around Eddie from behind and a soft kiss is pressed into his cheek.

"Hi dad," Allison, their eldest, says and let's go of him.

"Hey honey," Eddie says and pulls her into a proper hug, holding her tight.

She moved to West Coast for college, near where Will and Mike are located now, so Eddie and Steve don't get to see her all that much, as opposed to George who just moved to Detroit. It's nice, means Eddie and Steve get to see little Emma relatively often. As if on cue Emma turns around and looks from Steve to Eddie and Allison.

"Aunt Allie," she yells and runs across the yard to hug her aunt, leaving Steve all alone at the grill.

While Emma and Allison hug, Eddie makes his way over to Steve. Thinks once more how lucky they are that they got to adopt two beautiful kids, now have a grandkid too. Fucking miracle. Eddie reaches Steve and sneaks his arms around him, chin hooked over his shoulder.

"Oh hello," Steve says and turns his head enough to steal a quick peck. "What are you doing here?"

"Missed you," Eddie mumbles and buries his face in Steve's neck, nose brushing against Steve's scar.

"Sap," Steve says, but then adds, "Missed you too, baby."

Eddie closes his eyes and just drifts. Takes in the smell of Steve and bbq, hears children laughing and friends talking, feels Steve's warm body pressed against his. With the lives they have led, the places they came from the odds have never been in their favor. But somehow, by pure luck, miracle, determination and stubbornness they made it. And Eddie is thankful for it every day. Thankful for Steve, and Allision and George, and little Emma and everyone else part of their little miracle.

They've made it. Eddie still sometimes can't believe it.

[alethianightsong]

BELOVED: A ghost story

To this day, I still have no idea what Beloved truly is (even though that's the whole point of her character). Most people write her off as just the ghost of Sethe's daughter, but in actuality, it's way, way more complicated than that. Morrison said once that Beloved represented every beloved person lost during the middle passage or due to the violence of slavery. This shows very well in Beloved's characterization. Yes, her core person is Sethe's daughter but there's also a lot of vindictiveness in her being. At first, she's mentally just a little girl wanting the warmth of her mother but then she turns mean and cruel, upset at being mercy-killed. Beloved's obsession with sugar kinda baffled me, but I guess many of the spirits within her used to work sugar plantations in the West Indies and since they weren't allowed to partake in the crop they grew, they're demanding it now through Beloved.

For the sake of discussion, let's settle on Beloved being the manifestation of every person forced to endure the trauma of slavery. Beloved craves. They crave the life denied them and crave some kind of compensation. They're angry, upset, restless, vengeful. Ghosts are theorized to be imprints left by the living and Beloved is all the imprints of African slaves rolled into one. She demands love from Sethe, sex from Paul D, companionship from Denver. In the end, she becomes a void sucking away at Sethe, a reminder that the past is easy to get trapped in and haunted by.

My personal theory on Beloved is that when Paul D drove her spirit out the house, she went to the afterlife and came back with the thoughts and memories of the other black people she interacted with down there. This is why her personality shifts dramatically as the book progresses. She's a revenant, poltergeist, wraith, dybbuk. She doesn't haunt the white people who perpetuated slavery, but those affected by it on a personal level. She is the past & trauma incarnate.

[koinotfish]

Excerpt 2 from The Secrets the Sun Keeps:

Hey, you- angsty fantasy reader who enjoys supporting indie authors- come check this out! I post... regularly on AO3 here. Please read, comment, reblog, and do whatever it is you lovely people on Tumblr do. Much love <3

~~~

“Hm. With the amount of customers visiting your booth,” He looked around demonstratively, making a show of landing on a competing leather and hides merchant. “I’m sure times are tough for you. I apologize, but I’m on a long journey from out west and the trip is far from over. I cannot afford to give away my valuables to charity. Farewell.” He turned with a flourish of a wave and the woman lashed the backs of his knees with her jagged spined tail. <em>Gotcha,</em> he smirked before morphing his expression to one of bewilderment. 

In lieu of the broken common tongue she grated out earlier, she thrust a poly and… Yep, 50 agars into his palm. He stroked along the sharp grain of the snake’s hide, and its dark gold colored scales in phony contemplation. After thinking her offer over for a tense minute, the heavyset reptilian lady glaring a hole in between his eyes, he returned her coins to her and walked off again.

“You not find better deal than what I give you, stupid stranger!” Fumed Risha. 

“Your prices offend me, miss. This exotic beast is from the west, further beyond Faulk than any in Minden have likely ever been. I owe it to the serpent to find somebody capable of rendering it into workable armor, rather than simply sell it to a higher bidder. Again, have a good evening.” He said all of this from a distance so that he had cause to yell it over the din of the market, and heads turned towards the ensuing argument. The higher quality vendors with finer wares wouldn’t have given an outsider a second glance, but the words ‘out west’ captured their attention. Still, he paid the solicitors no mind as he pretended to peruse other stalls and booths, the poly from his boot in hand to show that he was wealthy enough to deal with. Poor people were paid poor prices even for expensive items, and the rich got richer. Thieves, liars, and con artists were above both.

With time to kill, Erik milled around town and briefly debated on buying a drink at the tavern, but if he reeked of alcohol the group would assume he’d spent <em>their</em> hard earned money. There was a stable in town that looked like a strong wind would send its abused supports to their knees. He decided to scope that out. Although the building was dilapidated, there were three people standing guard- a middle aged man, a younger boy, and a woman around his age. So it was a family business, then. Walking by looking around the streets as if lost, he realized their house was connected by an alleyway to the stables and had windows facing over their business. The second time he walked by, he noted the woman looked up from scooping hay to watch him. Her husband barked something at her and she jolted, averting her gaze and getting back to work. 

She was pretty in figure but had a plain face. It wasn’t clear what type of fae she was, so that meant there was a good chance she was a mutt or halfbreed of some sort. Certainly too low bred to be capable of magic. That husband of hers was a fearsome orc. Maybe even purebred with the length of those tusks. They were a hideous people with a temper to match their brawn, especially the males. A female orc who had a problem with you was no party either, though. How strange to see such a pure blooded male in this puny, filthy town. Had to be an outlaw or something. Or an opportunist seeking to profit off being the only source of a mount in the area. Erik had the feeling it was the former. His opinion of orcs was not favorable, thanks to the slavers that distracted him from the task of recapturing Meredith. 

Erik walked through the barn style door of the stable with his hands in his pockets, stealing glances at the woman when her son and husband weren’t looking. The dark skinned boy, who took after his father more than the mother, announced they’d be with him in a minute. Clearly it wasn’t the woman’s job to handle customers. She looked like she had something to say, so he started the conversation with her anyways. Erik remarked casually on the beauty of the tall, fit black stallion they had. Nervously, she agreed and reached up to place her palm on his nose. The horse had to bend down for her to reach him, but seemed calm with her. Only two horses were kept here in the same double wide stall. Every other spot had weird, lanky otter looking creatures with webbed feet. 

“You’re looking at the dire otters. Small, powerful, and capable of pulling cargo in groups,” The orc said, wiping sweat off his pronounced brow with one hand and pushing his tiny wife behind him with the other. She was all but flung towards the back of the shed and did her best not to squeal in surprise when she nearly tripped forward. “Whatcha in the market for, foreigner? Or did you just stop by to chat?” The last comment was spat at him, but he feigned ignorance and stated that he was only curious what types of animals were for sale here. His excuse only earned a grunt and a snort in response. Their boy was watching him like a hawk as well, but the woman’s eyes were turned down as she continued to sweep the same place on the floor, pushing the dirty hay around in a pile. He’d embarrassed her, and that worked to Erik’s advantage perfectly.

[anamelessfool]

Sad news. One of my favorite musicians, Toumani Diabaté passed away suddenly due to a brief illness. I heard about it through another West African musician I follow on social media. He was only 58. Diabaté primarily played a traditional West African instrument called the Kora and to me it's one of the greatest instruments ever created by humans. If you really want to "get lost in a sound" an incredible kora player can make it so.

My musical taste also includes some African music trends and traditions. I learned about this region through my local independent radio station, and if you want to have cool music taste then you should support your local indie station! Specifically Transpacific Sound Paradise and the indie label Sahel Sounds.

Toumani Diabaté and Sona Jobarteh. Jobarteh is one of the most known, if not only, female kora musicians active today. She is a musical prodigy and Diabaté's cousin. Women of the Griot social class very rarely become Griot themselves.

He and his family are part of a bard/storyteller/courtier social class in Mali and other West African countries known as Griot. He could trace his lineage back almost 71 generations. He was the first artist to introduce the Kora to the wider music world in the late 80s. One of my favorite albums of all time is "New Ancient Strings" performed with another Kora player Ballaké Sissoko. It's a wonderful album to get lost into. The sound of the Kora is meditative yet mentally activating. There is so much improvisation involved in crafting its music and with two instruments it's a gorgeous conversation.

Another amazing album of his is a live performance he did in 2009 with renowned banjo player and folk artist Béla Fleck. Another absolutely incredible album and cultural exchange. The banjo owes its life to the kora. People from West Africa enslaved and brought to the Americas developed the banjo from the kora's stringed gourd design and other African stringed instruments. The music of the enslaved is the direct ancestor to our current rock and folk musical traditions. Without the culture of the enslaved Africans and Indigenous peoples, we would not have the popular music we love today.

The best part of this album is when the two musicians perform "Dueling Banjos." You can really see how the banjo and the kora are related.

Yes i love chatting music and yes I will be playing these albums all afternoon. Feel free to AMA about music!

[dustedmagazine]

Dusted Mid-Year 2024, Part I (Oren Ambarchi to Loma)

Oren Ambarchi and crew

Half the year is gone already, and how did that happen? At Dusted, we’ve spent six months listening to good records and bad.  We’ve picked our very favorites, the top two from this year’s pile.  And now, in an annual tradition, we turn them on our fellow writers.  Hah, take that!   

Some of our Mid-Year switcheroos have been highly contentious.  We may have lost a writer or two in the aftermath.  Others have been remarkably collegial and full of positive discovery.  This one falls more or less in the middle.  Only a couple of reviews are notably grumpy.  A slightly larger (but still not large) number show evidence of newly awakened fandom.  For the most part, we came out with the same favorites we brought with us, though perhaps a little wiser about the music that we’re missing. 

For this reason, it is harder than ever to identify winners.  There’s no universally admired album we can call “this year’s Heron Oblivion.”  Rosali and Winged Wheel each got four votes, as close to a sweep as this year brought.  Oren Ambarchi’s Ghosted II notched three.  There were lots of lone pics—which is fine.  More music to check out. 

As always, we’re breaking the mid-year into three parts.  This one covers the front of the alphabet, a second will deal with the back.  The third, as always, provides longer lists from participating writers.  We hope you enjoy it. 

Oren Ambarchi / Johan Berthling / Andreas Werliin —Ghosted II (Drag City)

Who recommended it? Bryon Hayes

Did we review it? Yes, Tim Clarke said, “They cleave closer to the meditative, exploratory grooves of The Necks, laying down intricately detailed and gradually evolving parts… Sublime.” 

Bill Meyer’s take:

Count me among the Dusted writers who hold this trio in high esteem. Ghosted II strikes so precise a balance of texture, stillness and motion that it’s easy miss how fragile it is; one misplaced note or beat could bring it all down in a second, but the trio sustains each of the album’s four tracks for ten minutes or thereabouts. While it’s easy to appreciate the tidal flux of Oren Ambarchi’s guitar>>table of boxes>>Lesley speaker signal chain, and Johan Berthling’s immovable bass presence, if you are about to put this record on the hi-fi for the first time (PLEASE listen in stereo), consider focusing on the infinite mirror effect of Werliin’s percussion. Your third eye will thank you.

Olivia Block — The Mountains Pass (Black Truffle)

Who picked it? Bill Meyer

Did we review it? No

Ray Garraty’s take:

This has actually none of the pretentious stuff you expect to find in a work by somebody who has been dubbed a “media artist.” The second part of The Mountains Pass is especially stunning where ‘f2754’ has clearly a Giallo-esque feel to it, fast paced and a tad prog rock-ish. “Violet-Green,” perhaps the best composition on the album, brings in mind those creepy soundtracks, with synths and bells, which we usually hear on bad horror movies. And even when Olivia Block, on the same track, begins to sing, her voice is outlandish enough to think that she was abducted by the aliens. 

Camera Obscura — Look to the East, Look to the West (Merge)

Who Picked it? Andrew Forell

Did we review it? Yes, Andrew said, “Campbell writes movingly about memory and friendship. Looking at what was rather than regretting what might have been with an honesty that goes directly to the heart of things.” 

Bryon’s take:

This record makes me realize that I should listen to more Camera Obscura. The Glaswegian indie pop group is a delight to take in, especially Tracyanne Campbell’s lovely voice. Look to the East, Look to the West is a comeback album, the band’s first since they went on hiatus following the death of keyboardist Carey Lander in 2015. The most striking aspect here is the use of pedal steel and organ, which lend the album a country and western flair. This seems to be a new development for Campbell and company, but they pull it off well and the new sounds really suit the band. Similarly effective are the digital drums that the band employ on tracks like “Liberty Print.” Camera Obscura have altered course slightly but retain the loveliness that lies within their core.

Chief Keef — Almighty So 2 (RBC)

Who nominated it? Patrick Masterson

Did we review it? No.

Jennifer Kelly’s take:

Six years in the making and continually delayed—a fact the artist refers to several times during the run-time—Almighty So 2 is massive and ambitious, with operatic hooks and wall-shaking, body-pummeling beats. A mountainous swagger rocks, “Grape Trees,” the cut with Sexyy Red, a machine-gun ratatat thundering under brutal lyrics about gender relations. The politics are embedded in the subject matter, in the screaming sirens, the South Chicago gangland scenarios, the profanity, rage and cynicism. “Jesus Skit,” though, gets a little more explicit about it, positing a sliding reparations scheme that depends on skin color; light skinned rappers like Drake and Chance the Rapper lose out big time, while darker ones, like Sosa, get millions. The violence comes in the shattering beats, as in “1,2,3,” a slow-motion eruption. Here the artist sketches the bleak world that made (and continues to make) him, chanting, “I always believed I was gon' get paid/When I got to hustlin' up in sixth grade/You ain't givin' off that nigga, you won't get laid/Sleep for the weak, I been up for six days.” The track, like the rest of Almighty So 2, is gritty and nihilistic and undeniably powerful. So glad I got to hear this, non-expert though I am.

Cindy Lee — Diamond Jubilee (Realistik Studios)

Who nominated it? Patrick Masterson

Did we review it? Nope (and shame on us…)

Jonathan Shaw’s take:

Diamond Jubilee commences with three dazzling songs: the title track, “Glitz” and “Baby Blue.” Even if the rest of the record weren’t so excellent (it is, and at over two hours, there’s a lot of it), the strength of those three songs would propel it into frequent rotation, on my various devices and in my head, and likely onto the year-end list I will eventually compose. “Baby Blue” is the crucial track: it’s one of those songs (along with Warren Zevon’s “The French Inhaler,” Townes Van Zandt’s “For the Sake of the Song” and a few others) that is so ruthlessly fine in its execution and so suited to some of the least comfortable angles in the emotional furniture in my head that it requires a kind of commitment to listen to. Beyond that irretrievably subjective response, Diamond Jubilee commits, as well: to gorgeous melody, without entirely smoothing out the sharp edges that distinguished Lee’s What’s Tonight to Eternity (2020); to the reverb-saturated aesthetic of fading girl-group harmonies, clubland at 3 am, spangled cocktail dresses of motheaten satin and the pleasures of the last cigarette in the pack when there’s no money for another; and, it seems, to love, in social conditions that make love nearly as unthinkable as it is completely necessary. The surreal, in its modernist avant-garde iteration, emerged in similarly extreme social conditions, after the slaughter of the Great War and amid fascism’s rise. Those forces were enough to distort human relations into monstrous shapes nigh irrevocable. Lee’s music has strong relations to the dreamlike quality of the surreal, and we have our own terrors now: climate’s awful and furious change, social media’s psycho-social poisons and fascism, once again. Those terrors’ spectral presences are audible all over Diamond Jubilee, but they can’t blunt the sharpness of human longing in songs like “All I Want Is You” or “Don’t Tell Me I’m Wrong” or “Government Cheque.” Love’s intensities may not be sustainable, or even particularly livable, but they won’t be denied. Cindy Lee captures that set of truths with that aforementioned dazzle, and with depth.

DIIV — Frog In Boiling Water (Fantasy)

Who picked it? Tim Clarke

Did we review it? Yes. Tim Clarke said: “Despite the music’s dense layering and the overall feeling of frustration and confusion, Frog In Boiling Water thankfully leaves the listener with a feeling of hope and eventual redemption.”

Ray Garraty’s take:

If I were given this with no title and artist’s name I’d say this was written by a no name indie band circa 2016. It’s the same shoegazy guitars and sweet and melancholy vocals we’ve been hearing since when, 1994? The songs like “Reflected” got things moving but it’s far from boiling temperatures, merely lukewarm. It’s been written somewhere that the DIIV’s album is about “coping with capitalism,” yet it’s evident that it’s feeding the same capitalism, giving the fans the same thing over and over. And that is how capitalism works. 

Nomi Epstein — shades (Another Timbre)

Who picked it? Christian Carey

Did we write about it? Yes, Christian said, "Epstein’s music is unfailingly attractive and elegantly paced. Shades is an excellent introduction to her work."

Bill Meyer’s take: 

Since Nomi Epstein leads the Chicago-based new music ensemble a.pe.ri.od.ic, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to hear her guide performances of other people’s music. But shades is only the second album devoted to hers. Its three long pieces are, like the Wandelweiser and minimalist composers that a.pe.ri.od.ic has often supported, sparely arranged and deliberately paced. She puts intriguing sounds — some prepared piano notes, or a barely-there vocal tone — just far enough inside the frameworks of the music to invite one to listen in. Once your consciousness is inside the music, the slow movement of what surrounds you mesmerizes. Music this reserved and respectful is a welcome respite in a world where reality smacks you upside the head every day and even that influencer babbling on the phone belong to the person sitting next to you on the train insists on staring you in the eye.

Fuera de Sektor — Juegos Prohibidos (La Vida Es Un Mus Discos)

Who nominated it? Jonathan Shaw

Did we review it? Yes, Jonathan wrote, “It’s a singular sound, by turns compelling and bewitching—like the beautiful face you can just about discern across a dim and crowded room, a set of lines and textures briefly lit up by occasional drags on a cigarette. Not quite (or not just) postpunk, pop or dance music, the songs on Juegos Prohibitos itch at your hips and scratch into your brain.”

Christian Carey’s take:

Barcelona band Fuera de Sektor released a demo in 2022, but Juegos Prohibidos is their first full length recording. No Wave is a significant influence, particularly in the fiercely intense sing-shout vocals from Andrea Jarale. If you visit the band’s Instagram, it includes an amateur video that is an homage to Richard Hell, replicating a 1970s comic from NY Punk Magazine in which he starred. But there are many more reference points. The guitars channel the chops and soloing of eighties New Wave, and the rhythm section provides relentless uptempo playing. The defiant demeanor of the songs themselves depicts an unstoppable wall of intensity.

Daryl Groetsch — Above the Shore (self-released)

Who picked it? Andrew Forell

Did we review it? Yes, Andrew called it “a 75-minute floating symphony that insinuates its way into your subconscious with almost imperceptible stealth.”

Ian Mathers’ take:

Whether approvingly or not, works like this 75-minute composition/album are often described as if they were very static in nature; as if even when there are changes they happen in rigid, predictable ways. It may be that if you poke around under the hood of Above the Clouds enough you might be able to diagram out the way elements meld, progress, and separate again, and possibly under that light the whole thing looks regular. But in terms of the way it feels when you listen to it, there’s something quite different going on with Groetsch’s work. The whole thing does feel quite immersive, almost environmental. But as opposed to any number of ground-level or even underwater vistas that come to mind with similar works, here I feel suspended in the air, very far above any shore indeed. The listening experience feels akin to endlessly falling, eventually not so much above as through softly glowing clouds. It’s somehow soothingly vertiginous, and more captivating (and attention-rewarding) than most of its peers.

Icewear Vezzo — Live From the 6 (Quality Control Music)

Who picked it? Ray Garraty

Did we review it? No.

Patrick Masterson’s take:

Chivez Smith has been a familiar name to anyone keeping an eye on Detroit rap for the last decade — longer than you might think and long enough, now, to make him an elder statesman among the city’s spitters. What better time, then, to take a step back and assess not just how far you’ve come, but what all that hustling has amounted to? So goes Live From the 6 (not a Drake reference, in case you were momentarily confused; Vezzo’s from 6 Mile on McNichols north of Hamtramck), which isn’t quite a career retrospective but carries the themes of one. Vezzo’s in a reflective mood over the course of these 13 songs, his slightly frayed vocals forever unhurried and his beat selection consistently nodding to the high West Coast era; you could put Ice Cube or Snoop (or, for that matter, YG or Nipsey) over most of these productions and it wouldn’t throw you off. It’s not totally insular bars-wise, either; a questionable DaBaby feature aside — his double-time admission that he sees a therapist is heartening given how deservedly he got shunned by the establishment just as he was fixing to peak — Memphis artist YTB Fatt also shows up. Fellow Motor City emcees Babyface Ray and Chuckie CEO provide the remaining color, but end to end, this is Vezzo’s show and he shows up. There’s no lack of entry points to Icewear Vezzo’s discography by now, but if you were hesitant before, Live From the 6 is merely the latest display of his acumen. Hear why he’s the one.

Loma — How Will I Live Without A Body? (Sub Pop)

Who picked it? Tim Clarke

Did we review it? Yes, Tim wrote, “Yes, this is a heavy album, but luxuriously so. It’s music that stares death in the face and instead of running, hunkers down and gets comfortable.”

Alex Johnson’s take:

Listening to How Will I Live Without a Body? is like eavesdropping on a collage of someone else’s thoughts. Contemplation or confusion or a eureka one moment to the next. It’s theatrical, passionate music that, to me, shares a heavy sensibility with the operatic post-rock on Portishead’s Third. Like an unsettling daydream, the lyrics blur the mundane and existential. In “Affinity,” the narrator stares “into the dark,” finding herself multiplied but disconnected – “my shadows move/with and without me.” In “I Swallowed a Stone,” a“kettle boil[s] forever” and she “can’t live this feeling anymore.” Given the song’s tense, foreboding percussion and muted guitar “can’t” sounds like “might have to.” 

Might, but not necessarily will. Despite the doses of dread, How Will I Live Without a Body? never feels resigned. You’re treated to interjections of sound, instrumental and otherwise —  flashes of illumination, portals to enter. “Unbraiding” fits sheets of strings, bird song, and burning punches of guitar fuzz around a simple, repeated piano, illustrating the line “bring somewhere out of nowhere.” Loma is working with a robust sonic palette here, but the album’s ethos seems grounded in a DIY curiosity. That “Broken Doorbell” features what sound like actual broken doorbells and then ends with waves hitting a shore is emblematic. It’s a lovely, if perhaps temporary, moment of arrival, having followed the shadows wherever they led.

[itsfarrah]

|Chapter 4|

Colonel Brandon eased his horse down the familiar path leading to his estate, feeling each familiar dip and rise in the land beneath him. His mind wandered back to the harsh eight months spent on military assignments in the West Indies and Australia—a grueling tour of duty that tested his resolve and drained his spirit. The relentless sun, the unyielding sea, and the stern faces of men hardened by constant peril filled his thoughts, but with each hoofbeat toward home, the weight of those days began to lift.

As he rode, Brandon's thoughts inevitably turned to his personal life, or rather, the lack of it. Over the years, his military engagements had often come at the expense of his private happiness. Love had brushed past him, a whisper of what might have been, leaving him with memories of opportunities lost. Now, with what he hoped was his final mission behind him, a wave of sentimentality washed over him. Perhaps it was time to find someone to share in the quiet moments, someone whose love matched the fervor of his own. Yet, as he contemplated this possibility, he shook his head, dismissing it as unlikely fortune.

Upon arriving at his estate, he was greeted with the warm and familiar faces of his staff. Their genuine smiles and respectful nods were a balm to his weary soul. After a long bath to wash away the grime of his travels and a change into fresh garments, he was gently reminded by a maid that dinner awaited him.

Sitting alone at the grand dining table, surrounded by opulence meant for many, the empty chairs echoed his earlier musings. The possibility of sharing his life with someone seemed even more poignant now. Lost in these thoughts, a servant approached, presenting him with a letter sealed with Sir John Middleton's familiar stamp.

Breaking the seal, Brandon read about Sir John's understanding of the hardships he had faced and the invitation to a forthcoming garden party. The letter hinted at relaxation and perhaps, more intriguingly, the prospect of finding someone special. Sir John’s words, suggesting it was high time he found a companion who could love as deeply as he did, stirred something within him. Sighing he put the letter aside and finished his dinner in contemplative silence. He then withdrew to his study, where he hoped to immerse himself in anything that would distract himself from Sir Middleton's invitation. However, that proved easier said than done.

The Colonel, ensconced in his study and gradually immersing himself in the depths of his botanical tome, felt a lingering unrest stirring within him. As he pondered Sir John Middleton's invitation, the ramifications of attending the party began to occupy more of his thoughts. The cool night air wafted through an open window, carrying with it the scent of the gardens below—those meticulously kept expanses that were, to him, both sanctuary and solitude.

He placed the book aside and walked over to the window, gazing out at the serene darkness settling over his estate. "It's an opportunity, is it not?" he spoke softly to himself, considering the gentle push from Sir John towards companionship. "A chance to step beyond these walls, not just in duty but perhaps for personal fulfillment as well."

Drawing in a deep breath, he continued, "I've seen much of the world—its wildness, its beauty, and its trials. Yet, here, in my own heart's landscape, there lies an uncharted territory." He paused, his reflection faintly visible against the glass. "Could there truly be someone at this party who might share such a vision? Someone to share not just idle chatter but the quieter, deeper conversations I've longed for?"

Colonel Brandon chuckled quietly at his own hopeful musings. "And what of love? A notion so easily spoken of by others but such a rare visitor to my own life." The thought seemed both a balm and a fear, a possibility he had often dismissed but which now seemed worth considering. "Well," he murmured, turning from the window, "perhaps the evening will reveal more than just the same old dance of social niceties. Perhaps."

He picked up his pen, his hand steadier now, and wrote a brief note of acceptance to Sir John's invitation. As he sealed the envelope, he allowed himself to entertain the hope, however slight, that this garden party might indeed be the catalyst for something new, something meaningful. "To new beginnings, however they may come," he whispered, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he handed the letter to his waiting servant.

Watching his servant leave with the letter, Colonel Brandon felt a subtle lift in his spirits, a slight loosening of the weight he had carried since his return. The decision made, there was now a sort of eagerness in him, a readiness to face whatever the garden party might bring, whether it be tedious company or delightful encounters.

He ascended the staircase to his bedchamber, his steps slow but steady. There, he opened the doors of his wardrobe, contemplating his attire for the upcoming occasion. He selected a fine, dark blue coat and matching waistcoat, which he laid out carefully on his bed, along with a crisply starched white shirt and a subtly patterned cravat. Ensuring everything was in order for the tailor's review on the morrow, he felt a renewed sense of purpose.

With his attire chosen, Colonel Brandon allowed himself a few moments of quiet reflection by the window, looking out over the moonlit grounds of his estate. The quiet of the night soothed his nerves, and a gentle breeze whispered through the open window, carrying with it the scent of the blooming gardens below.

Finally, feeling the day's weariness encroach once more, he extinguished the candles and settled into bed. As he lay in the darkness, his thoughts drifted to the forthcoming party, to the faces it might bring into his life, and to the faint, yet distinct possibility of finding someone who could truly share his heart and home. With these hopeful thoughts, he drifted into a peaceful sleep, the first in many nights not haunted by the shadows of the past.

[nieves-de-sugui]

My personal experience with BL history for @waitmyturtles​

After reading through the posts of your Old GMMTv Challenge, I decided to add my own perspective, as a watcher, of how BL has evolved as a genre as time went by. I hope this “history from the perspective of the viewer” might shed some light in some of the questions you might have or bring up interesting things for your viewing and understanding of the shows. I will try to not repeat what has already been said through your posts by all the wonderful people in this fandom and keep it as concise as possible (turns out it’s still super long).

I’m gonna use ABL’s chronology of the shows as a timeline guide for easy understanding:

Context: How I made my way to Thailand

I’ve always been into BL (yaoi, gay shows, whatever you wanna call it), but I became commited to it around 2008. The options for queer content back then were very limited, as I’m sure we all remember. But for the sake of adding context this were my go to:

Youtube playlists of cuts of “the gay storyline” from western shows (Brothers and Sisters, Hit The Floor, Shameless, Skins and soap operas (Salatut Elamat, Days of Our Lives), etc), 

Queer as Folk, 

bad japanese live action adaptations of yaoi mangas (Takumi kun) or just sad/melancholic movies about lost men, 

sad chinese movies (usually with fucked up plots), 

indie queer movies (Were The World Mine, Judas Kiss, Shelter, Yes or No, Love of Siam etc). 

But I was starving for more. I wanted shows. 

In the search for more content, through Love of Siam enters My Bromance (very sad ending, also pseudo incest?, still part of what I thought were just indie movies with yaoi influences) and then appears Lovesick (S1 and S2), with very questionable subs, but finally a show with a gay couple as protagonists. 

Lovesick was for me the first show that finally put a queer story as a main thing to focus on, finally breaking free of the eternal side story filled with drama and hurt that was never comforted. After that only Make it Right was around. It was more of the same thing but this time the cast was a lot more reduced and everyone is gay. Also, it showed some of the sexual aspects of the genre (which now feels wrong for so many reasons, but alas). 

One day, SOTUS is on youtube with subs, plus it’s the official channels (yay! finally we can be legal!). 

First shock, there’s an actual plot centered around these two people, who are their own characters besides being gay, and they actually kiss (I remember it was so impactful to me (in a never seen before way) that I did fanart of it). Thai shows became my guilty pleasure, they were bad but they were telling the stories I wanted to see and no one else was doing it. Only Thai shows cared to show cute love stories that ended well, without the big drama we were used to in the west. My thoughts were “It’s bad but I’ll take it, I’m staying here”

Living through the different booms

When Together With Me came out it brought proper making out session and high heat to the genre. Sround here is when I started watching everything that I could find because I had finally found my jam. So I watched all that now I could not watch again (because, man! they’re bad) like 2moons, Puppy Honey S2, What The Duck, My Dream,... And then, with Love By Chance we got the first signs of consent and communication with AePete. It finally felt like we could get stories with healthy relationships. 

Also, Our Skyy came in! Great moment! Treats for everyone! And honestly, it was such a fun project to watch. Iconic side-couples from straight shows getting their moment of spotlight on the same level as the main couples from BL shows. To me, Our Skyy comfirmed the importance of the main 3 (OG, TN, KS) and cemented the path GMM was taking with their BL shows. It started to be part of the norm and not just some shows here and there. It was no longer waiting for someone to make a BL once in a while, but an assurance a small but constant flow of BLs. 

Also Taiwan started the HIStory franchise.

BIG BOOM#1 - TharnType! Also, Ossan’s Love. 

TharnType comes in. The 1st episode ends and everybody hates it for the lack of consent, but everybody loves it for the high heat and the chemistry (also for those of us who had liked Mew in WTD it was nice to see him in this show, that seemed to have less drama around it). Plus, the hype of knowing more about Tharn from LBC, who was such a nice older gay character when he was palyed by Earth (Pirapat).

I think to me, TT was a mix of a lot of the usual flaws with the very new (only achieved before by MaxTul) high heat chemistry  (which despite the controversy is an important part of the BL genre, you can’t take the sex out of BL) and an interesting idea for a plot. 

Also I watched Great Men Academy for Captain (Noh in Lovesick), and he slays. Plus the BL in the show is good (even tho technically not bl, but queer enough)

Simultaneously Japan gets Ossan’s Love, it’s first mainstream BL boom, with very well known actors and gets talked about by the regular drama watchers. Everyone was watching Ossan’s Love in Japan, it brought the genre to the mainstream for the first time. (And prepared the grounds for Cherry Magic, imo)

Other shows that left an impact at the time were He’s Coming To Me and Dark Blue Kiss. HCTM was the great Ohm comeback (who I though we would never see again), paired with Singto doing a BL again. Besides the chemistry, the change in themes was very interesting, it was the first thai bl that showed thai culture for me. For its part, DBK had an interesting opening and Aof personal queer touch to the storyline (which made it wonderful) Especially for MorkSun. It was the first taste of what we know Aof for, but it was also the first time BL had such mature and nuanced themes to it.

little BOOM#1 - Until We Meet Again and Theory of Love

UWMA and TOL, to me were surprises. I thought that like KirstSingto and TayNew, OffGun would never do another BL with new characters. That BL was still just an undervaluated stepping stone that people didn’t treat as a proper genre (as everybody had been doing up to that point, do it once and never be seen near the genre again). 

However, UWMA confirmed that BL was here to stay. It was growing, it was exploring mixing with other genres and famous thai actors were in it. It was also moving away from the usual university storyline. And TOL was the comback of the year. I remember everyone losing their shit (me included), it was the lengendary OG afterall. Up until then they had done cameos and Puppy Honey season 1 and 2 but that was it. TOL also did something interesting with its theme, and the romcom references. AND! it was the first proper kiss in a gmmtv BL. From dead fish PickRome to full on make out with KhaiThird.

BIG BOOM#2 - 2gether and Why R U?

The BL expansion thanks to the pandemic was very very noticeable. Everybody was seeing 2gether and WRU. First time anything BL trended on Tumblr. Everyone was descovering thailand. 

Also 2gether was again a first, it felt like the story made more sense. It was more believable, with tolerable tropes and a cute main pair (this was the first thai show I dared to recommend to someone who was not into BL), plus the music. The ending of the show ruined it for me, however Still2gether Fixed everything that was wrong from the 1st season and showed quickly how the show could’ve been. WRU’s plot was directly affected by the pandemic and bettered what TharnType had started with the high heat chemistry. The whole success of the show is due to SaintZee having amazing chemistry and going with it. 

My engineer was the surprise of the year, it had nothing going for it promising but it managed to be good (I think thanks to some parts of the story and the cast mainly). 

little BOOMS#2 - Cherry Magic and ITSAY and others

The riples of the pandemic 2gether boom were felt in Japan. Nothing breaks throught the japanese content barrier. Japan only consumes MADE IN JAPAN, and yet 2gether made it there. And showed the Japanese show runners that there’s an interest there. Cherry Magic aired a few months after and it was big success, like OL had been. Korea starts with Where Your Eyes Linger here too.

The thing about I Told Sunset About You was that nobody knew what we were getting. I had heard about My ambulance, I even saw some of the clips, but it seemed to be side couple queerbaiting and honestly I wasn’t expecting much. But they had promised a BilkinPP series. I think it’s no wonder it blew our minds, nobody was expecting that! 

Then the big comeback of MaxTul with Manner of Death, broke our minds just as OF had with TOL and bringing again the mature themes to the genre (they are called the daddies of BL for a reason). No one thought they’d come back.

Around here I started watching the GMMtv end of the year announcements. All the build up we had had from the growing of the BL genre and p’Aof culminated on the annoucement of A Tale of Thousand Stars. Because of how it breaks the rules of thai bl (no engineers, no university, no highschool, no city, no 2000′s yaoi tropes just regular shoujo tropes) and tells a compeling story that tasted so new the hype didn’t die even when it came one year later than it should have. 

And Lovely Writer, was the first to present the criticizing of the industry as well as expanding on the mature themes outside of university and the lack of need for fanservice off screen between the actors. They acted like normal people :D

Light on Me appared around here too, and showed us that korea can do better than it had. And Taiwan gave us We Best Love.

BIG BOOM#3 -  Bad Buddy and Kinnporsche

BB was the biggest annoucement GMMtv has ever made. The thing about it was the combo AofOhmNanon. Always grazing BL and forever ghost shipped with Chimon, Nanon decided to do his first (and probably only) BL with none other than Ohm (with who he had great chemistry since they became friends in Blacklist) and under the guidance of Aof. Here I want to add that Aof considers BB to be his first Y series, the ones before were dramas, so I assume by that that the thai public makes a difference between the more mature tone series and the more highschool/university BLs (??). Such a year that was! Accompanied by the epicness that was the annoucement of Not Me (confirmed to be the last OG show... but then they went and annouced another). 

And last but not least, Kinnporsche breaks the internet, everyone knows about thailand now. It entered the realm of darker themes and violence. Accompanied by other shows exploring other themes like: You’re My Sky (sports), Something In My Room (ghosts), etc...

Which is the flow we have now, some of the known old stuff some of the new expanding stuff, waiting for the next boom. My, what a journey!

I hope this was an interesting read and that I managed to show how these shows were perceived when they came out, even though now they might not be as groundbreaking. If anybody else wants to add how they perceived these shows when they came out, feel free to add to this!

[grigori77]

Movies of 2024 - My Summer Rundown (Part 1)

Straight up front, I've decided not to include the Director's Cuts of Rebel Moon in here, ultimately realising I've got FAR TOO MUCH to say about the finished product to fit in either of these, so I'll be posting a complete rundown of how I feel about all that sometime in September. Instead I'm just gonna concentrate on REGULAR business right now, so ...

The Runners-Up:

20.  MYTHICA: STORMBOUND – The Kickstarter-funded D&D-inspired fantasy adventure franchise returns after the original series ended in high style with 2016’s The Godslayer, telling an enjoyably offbeat (mostly) standalone story about a disparate group of warriors trapped in a remote inn by an unseen force.  Former series star Jake Stormoen makes his feature debut as a director here, ushering the cheap-but-cheerful action in with clear love for the material, and the results leave strong potential for a fresh saga moving forward.

19.  JIM HENSON, IDEA MAN – Prepare to get hit HARD in the feels as director Ron Howard turns documentarian for this thoroughly fascinating and lovingly reverent examination of the life, career and legacy of the core creator of The Muppets, as well as one of the most important film and television visionaries to have influenced the lives and imaginations of a whole generation of proud geeks, myself included.  If this doesn’t make you cry by the end you just don’t get it …

18.  AM I OKAY? – As far as I’m concerned, any remaining debate on whether or not Dakota Johnson can actually act should be put to bed by her performance in Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne’s endearingly quirky comedy drama.  She’s simply MESMERISING as Lucy, a socially awkward LA thirtysomething who’s just come to the sudden realisation that she’s gay, floundering through her new dating life with the help of her far more confident best friend Jane (House of the Dragon and Crazy Rich Asians’ Sonoya Mizuno).

17.  ARCADIAN – This intriguingly lo-fi indie horror, starring Nicolas Cage as a father desperately trying to keep his two teenage sons (Jaeden Martell and Maxwell Jenkins) alive during a terrifying apocalypse in which bloodthirsty monsters come with the night, very much snuck in under the radar, but it deserves some SERIOUS recognition for its visceral thrills and unsettlingly unique creature designs, as well as impressive central performances and steady, unshowy helming from feature-debuting director Benjamin Brewer.

16.  NEW LIFE – Brand new writer-director John Rosman makes a very intimidating debut indeed with this impressively robust suspenseful pandemic horror about a desperate young woman hitchhiking her way across America, unaware that she’s the carrier of a lethal viral pathogen.  Hayley Erin (Pretty Little Liars: the Pefectionists) plays understandably paranoid to perfection, while Sonya Walger (Lost, For All Mankind) is equally magnificent as the world-weary corporate fixer sent to hunt her down.

15.  MAXXXINE – Mia Goth’s murderous porn star Maxine Minx returns in the third (but hopefully not final) instalment of prolific horror writer-director Ti West’s deliciously NASTY X Trilogy, following our viciously resourceful and ruthlessly determined young star-in-the-making as she fights tooth and nail to secure the role she knows will help her go legit and break into SERIOUS movies, all while dodging the threat of LA’s Nightstalker killer, the burgeoning Satanic Panic and her own dark past coming back to haunt her …

14.  HIT MAN – The latest cinematic offering from unapologetically unique writer-director Richard Linklater, based on a bizarre true story, might ultimately be one of his more light, airy and ultimately insubstantial films, but there’s no denying it’s also a hell of a lot of fun, Glen Powell (who also co-wrote the screenplay) clearly having a blast playing a college professor who moonlights as a fake assassin to help the New Orleans Police perform undercover stings in order to prevent potential murders-for-hire, only to fall in love with one of his marks (Good Omens’ Adria Arjona).  The end result is a wonderfully frothy screwball comedy that’s a winning laugh-riot from beginning to end.

13.  THE BIKERIDERS – Jeff Nichols (Take Shelter, Midnight Special, Loving), one of the most interesting and eclectic filmmakers to come out of the late 2000s’ indie scene, once again in fine form with a fascinating fictionalised take on photojournalist Danny Lyons’ photo-book chronicling the life and times of the influential Outlaws Motorcycle Club.  Tom Hardy stars as Benny, the laconic leader of the Vandals biker club and Elvis’ Austin Butler smoulders magnificently as his protégé Johnny, while Killing Eve’s Jodie Comer provides the narrative’s grounding anchor as the latter’s down-to-earth girlfriend Kathy.

12.  I SAW THE TV GLOW – Underground writer-director Jane Schoenbrun (We’re All Going To the World’s Fair) thoroughly deserves their newfound big-time breakout into the more high-profile scene due to the runaway success of this thoroughly twisted A24 existential horror revolving around awkward teen Owen (Justice Smith), who becomes overwhelmingly obsessed with 90s YA TV series The Pink Opaque, only to see his life become increasingly unsettled after the disappearance of his closest friend Maddy (Brigette Lundy-Paine) makes him wonder if the supposedly fictional show might actually be TRUE, and having a direct effect on his own reality …

11.  LONGLEGS – Anthony Perkins’ son Osgood, who’s been making a name for himself in the indie horror scene for a while now (I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives In the House, Gretel & Hansel), is breaking out in a major way as a filmmaker thanks to this deeply unsettling slowburn procedural mystery thriller.  Maika Monroe delivers a masterclass in subtle nuance as rookie FBI agent Lee Harker, an emerging clairvoyant whose uncannily accurate talents get her assigned to the manhunt for the titular, potentially supernatural serial killer (a virtually unrecognisable Nicolas Cage).

[highmidvoiddemon]

Imaginary Monsters

Part Three: What Comes Next

So life went on. They made their way out of the shadows. Quinn was still a ghost, freeing her soul did not bring her back to life. She was conscientiously a conduit for the void, tethered to reality and creating a cycle so that she could haunt all of her friends.

In theory she could haunt the whole world, though she would only be seen by people who believed in ghosts and would have to expand more of her power to be known by the rest. So she remained a ghostly presence only known by twelve, gaining ghost powers in addition to the pure belief of childhood dreams that let them all do anything they pleased.

She worked hard to keep the group together, encouraging them all not only to keep using their powers when not in battle, but to follow their dreams.

Embracing the belief that everyone was destined to forget. Anything became possible. Working hard to fulfill them, they were able to do anything and everything that they ever dreamed of.

They started an interconnected corporation that combined all of their dreams. Welcoming in others, through people that wanted to support them. Forming a community that they never knew that they needed.

Xueqi started her own fashion line, never caring about what the next trend was going to be, she created the designs of her dreams: fun patterns and different textures, her clothes were like no other. The only thing that her outfits had in common was her message of individuality.

Noah made the next big hit in the indie horror game sphere. With his well loved Huggy Wuggy doll that he had with him on the first day of preschool, he was ready to show others that nightmares could always be defeated.

Chuyu and Victor started a joint video project, going on adventures that were crazy and physics-defining while encouraging others to take the risk and do what they were afraid of.

Jackson moved out west, officially going by Jack, and took a job making movie props starting with Star Wars and then becoming in demand by every major franchise. No matter how things there would always be something out there to help, all one had to do was find the right matters.

Luca traveled the world studying and caring for animals. A trusty gecko by his side, as he traveled into the unknown, for the unknown was just what had yet to be understood.

Arissa was the architect that was changing the world. Finding ways to strengthen the structures and make everything more efficient. She worked hard to save the world, and she was going to make sure that everyone else was going to enjoy all that the world had to offer.

Jennifer was an artist, galleries full of her paintings, helping people get lost in the colors and they were able to reflect upon what is important in life.

Alex was an author that focused on mysteries and thrillers, even with the danger lurking in the shadows, there was always a way to win, one just had to see it all through.

Leia was a scientist that was working hard to save the world from a different angle. Pouring effort into understanding the problem and figuring out the best way to fight it. Helping in one regard was never enough, one had to ensure safety for all around.

Jacob became a world renowned chief, creating food that was always exactly what people needed. Even taking the time to open up a shelter to serve those in need, where in addition to feeding everyone, he was able to use his powers as a healer.

Finally there was Lucas, the quiet observer. Always content with sitting in the moment, he took on the role of the manager. Keeping everything running, just like how he ensured the doors would remain open, he held onto the group, keeping them tethered to reality. Working behind the scenes, for all to turn out well.

Quinn was proud of her friends. In all that they were able to accomplish in the short time working together. Their dreams were coming together, and they were only becoming stronger. Remembering the purity of childhood where anything could be possible. She stepped in, telling them what needed to be done. Speaking for the void, calling herself the union representative always in communication with their supervisor of the void itself.

Her friends were feeding the void with their creations. Living out their dreams and giving back in all that they do.

There was a darkness lurking in the void, and she had to figure it out. They won. None of them were afraid any more. Yet the darkness remained. The threat was not only out there but spreading.

They may have saved themselves but the world was still in danger. She moved through the void, catching glimpses of the reality behind the veil of dreams. The despair that was felt on a global level. The climate conflict. The ever increasing mass shootings. The rise of hatred. There was so much fear for Larry to prey on. He had billions of people to feed on. He was never going to hunt down twelve children that ran on bravery. They were not even a drop in the ocean of souls to claim.

They saved themselves and left the world alone to be consumed by their fears.

She felt the nightmares crush the dreams throughout the world. People falling to despair, never sure what to do, being forced to keep going just to stay alive. The rising prices. The longer hours for less pay, being able to afford to survive. The near constant assaults, where every girl had a story of something that happened to them or a friend. There was danger on every corner. It was not safe to live in the world.

For too long they all had spent in their bubble, created by dreams. They got whatever they wanted. Only everyone else didn’t have the opportunity to claim the powers that were offered by their dreams. They were no longer children, there were limits on what was possible, and thanks to everything the world threw at them they became the people victims to Larry, their fears growing each day.

As children they jumped into battle, shooting off their powers in a grand display of what they were capable of. As they got older they had to get smarter. Still using their powers, less to show off and impress and more for what was needed to be done.

On the thirteen day of each month they meet up, planning their next move. Most of the time it was used as a catch up, sharing what was going on with their lives, though when Quinn flew in that day, they knew they had to be focused on the mission they promised to complete. Once a Monster Hunter, always a Monster Hunter, only what they considered monsters changed.

They sat around the circle table. In their self assigned spots, leaving two open as tradition stated.

“There’s something wrong with the void.” Quinn stated, quickly gathering everyone’s attention.

The causal air melted away. They would have time to catch up next month, so long as they succeed in saving the world once more.

“What is wrong with the void?” Leia asked. Taking on the role of data collection, needing to know the facts before she could act.

“Our powers come from dreams, and since we live out our dreams we are only growing in power, but for everyone else in the world, their fears are growing so the void is struggling to maintain the balance.”

“And you think we could take away the fears from everyone in the world?” Alex asked. They were a group of twelve, there was no sense in placing them in charge of the whole world. Taking on the fears created by the billions of others around the world. They were impressive, but even they had their limits.

“We just need to turn the tides.” Chuyu suggested. Fear was a natural part of the world. Power came from facing their fear, but it had to exist. They just had to find a way to shine a light on the other possibilities. Yes the world was dangerous, but that did not mean that they had to stop living, if they all worked together there would always be a tomorrow creating the hopes that things would be better.

“Haven’t we been trying to do that?” Xueqi asked, taking stock of all of their careers. They brought joy to the world, and had collected a large following thanks in part to all their different outlets. Helping, and inspiring on different fronts.

“We haven’t been working for anything save for our ideals.” Arissa said. They followed their dreams, and gained a following that was nothing more than fans. Still individualized outlets that had separate domains, only interacting with the crossover collabs that were passed off as friends interacting. “If we’re going to counteract the fear that is built into our world we would have to do more.”

“We should build our own world.” Lucas suggested. Starting small to gather the island, build the interconnected community that was able to support itself. Gaining independence, and finding a way that it could stand by itself. A community with plans for expansion. Save the world every little bit at a time.

“Is that even possible?” Jennifer asked. Looking around the room, she saw a group of independent artists, sharing friendship but not capable of building a new reality. Though they could achieve whatever they could dream.

“If we work together we could have the resources to eventually build our own world.” Lucas saw the logistics, with the funds from all their creativity endeavors, the intelligence of Leia and Arissa to create the world, pulling in the fans that they had inspired, they could create their own country.

“That’s at least a ten year plan though.” Victor said. Even if they poured everything they had in their new world, it would still take a huge portion of their lives to create.

“So we jump start it.” Alex suggested.

The group all looked to Quinn, seeing what the void would deem possible.

She knew what the great was capable of, together they could do the impossible. Power beyond their wildest imagination that they could shape base solely with their will. “I don’t see why we can’t try.”

They rented a boat and made their way out to the middle of the ocean. Standing on the edge of the dock, they channeled their energies together. Building a world that would be of their dreams. A new land not bound by the terrors of the current society.

They ignited with their auras, a painting of colors showing all that was possible. The colors combined to form the white light, a single goal united with all of the dreams of the group behind it.

Together they formed the landmass that would become their new home. An island tied to their powers and belief, a dream of a new future. They opened the world up to those that they inspired, proving a choice varying from what was forced on the people since the beginning of time.

A world where they could be themselves, free to dream and live out what was true. Not bound by the fears that were manufactured by the monster lurking in the shadows.

Once again they had made their dreams a reality, and for once it was not just for the thirteen children that once shared a preschool class, it was open to anyone that wanted to take part in it.

A figure watched from the horizon. Smiling at her dream coming true. Of all the Monster Hunters that she trained there was no group more successful than the one before her. How wonderful that they all ended up in her class all those years ago, sometimes the void knew exactly how to make a dream a reality.

Part One:

https://www.tumblr.com/highmidvoiddemon/744605109006303232/imaginary-monsters?source=share

Part Two:

https://www.tumblr.com/highmidvoiddemon/744605741566066688/imaginary-monsters?source=share

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JUNE 23

The best things come in pairs in this Round Up. A few repeat offenders this June: 

Jason Schwartzman

Harrison Ford

Brad Pitt

Pixar

Archeological digs

Sports stories

1943 musicals

Tap dancing

‘80s pop-rock records

Two Tales of Cities

And, as always, Crowd and Critic are best when they’re in tandem. These are my top picks for June 2023 in the order I experienced them:

June Crowd-Pleasers

1. Shooting Stars (2023)

As a sports dilettante, I knew nothing about LeBron James’s pre-NBA life. (Full disclosure: I don’t know much about his post-NBA life either.) This sports drama probably sands off some edges (James produced this movie based on a book he wrote), but it hits its marks. It’s inspirational but not schmaltzy, and thanks to great performances (including an always stellar Caleb McLaughlin and I’m-always-glad-when-he-pops-up Dermot Mulroney), this story of five basketball-obsessed kids growing up is much better than you’d expect for a direct-to-Peacock movie. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Elemental (2023)

Pixar is back to basics with Elemental. In the best way, that means Pixar is up to their old shenanigans, but in another sense, it means this movie is, well, basic. Read my full review at ZekeFilm or watch my segment on KMOV to give you an idea on whether Pixar’s latest is for you. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

3. Flamin’ Hot (2023)

What Flamin’ Hot lacks in heat it makes up for in heart. With its relatable stakes and the comedy it finds in skewering corporate culture, this kind-of-true story of the creation of the Flamin’ Hot Cheeto (yes, really) is about as good as it could be. Read my full review at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 8/0 // Critic: 7/10

4. Coco (2017)

Finally watched after being one of my top “oops, I haven’t seen this yet” titles for years. Yes, Pixar did make me sob again. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Do you love to feel nostalgia or to be surprised? Do you like old school action or newfangled special effects? Do you enjoy historical adventures or stories about modern issues? Then the fifth Indiana Jones episode is for you! Literally the only thing this needed to achieve was to surpass the quality of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but why settle for that when you can make an action-packed adventure better than most summer blockbuster fare? Given that Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade are two of the best adventure movies (or perhaps, just movies) of the 20th century, it’s no insult to say The Dial of Destiny ranks third for me in Indy’s canon with Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull following in distant fourth and fifth places. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

6. Bananarama-thon + Bangle-mania + Go-Go-palooza

What says “summer” more than 1980s girl pop-rock bands? (Or really, 1980s pop-rock period?) Bananarama, The Bangles, and The Go-Go’s made excellent summer soundtracks with their respective albums Deep Sea Skiving (1983), Bananarama (1984), and True Confessions (1986); All Over the Place (1984), Different Light (1986), and Everything (1988); and Beauty and the Beat (1981), Vacation (1982), and Talk Show (1984). Also, does Bananarama’s debut album have the greatest cover art of all time?

7. Sports Night (1998-2000)

My binge of short-lived behind-the-scenes shows continues! Clearly Aaron Sorkin and pals like Tommy Schlamme were still learning the ropes of TV, and they were not helped by the fact that premiering in the ‘90s mandated a laugh track in the first season. But the bones of Sorkin’s future are there: Josh Charles and Peter Krause’s bromance feels like laying the track for some of the best of The West Wing, and Felicity Huffman is one of his iconic strong female leads. Robert Guillaume’s elder statesmen of TV (both in front and behind of the camera) is the glue that holds the show together, and the show’s love for sports is so infectious it draws in non-sporty girlies like me.

8. Legal Eagles (1986)

A legal dramedy starring Robert Redford directed with the light touch of Ivan Reitman? This art heist murder mystery co-starring Debra Winger and Daryl Hannah is a hidden gem of the ‘80s...and also an addition to my Favorite Tap Dances list on Letterboxd? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

9. The Stone Roses by The Stone Roses (1989)

A Rolling Stone article I shared last month got me curious about this band (whom I know nothing about beyond that article), and this album has been scratching The Smiths itch that lives in me.

June Critic Picks

1. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

It’s a visual wonder with stellar voice work, especially Jason Schwartzman’s clever villain, and once we get to the Nueva York universe, everything flies. But boy, does it take a while to get there. I normally reserve my Round Ups for praise, but since Across the Spider-Verse’s nearly universal acclaim won’t be tarnished by my critique, the spirit of transparency compels me to complain this film is at least 30 minutes too long. When you’re trying to be both a Gwen Stacy movie and a Miles Morales movie, the somber first hour slows down even more and delays revisiting the stuff we loved most in the first film. The kids next to me were antsy well before this was over, my dad fell asleep in the middle (which he never does), and then it rivals Lord of the Rings for fake out endings. Here's hoping Spider-Ham and Spider-Man Noir get to make up for their lost time in part 3! Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

2. Ninotchka (1939)

When Soviet Greta Garbo travels to Paris on Communist Party business, can she resist the city’s charms? She and her fellow comrades find themselves succumbing to the amenities, champagne, and romance they can’t find in Mother Russia. An Ernst Lubitsch-directed rom-com co-written by Billy Wilder can’t miss! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Little Women (2017)

Another Round Up, another version of Little Women. I immediately pushed this PBS miniseries to the top of my watchlist when I dug into Little Mermaid star Jonah Hauer-King’s past filmography and discovered he performed alongside Angela Lansbury (!!!). Though I expect the budget was smaller than a big screen feature’s, the extended runtime allows for moments we haven’t seen depicted on film before. The cast of ringers includes Lansbury as a delightfully cranky Aunt March and Hauer-King as a lovelorn Laurie, as well Maya Hawke as Jo, Kathryn Newton as Amy, and Michael Gambon as Mr. Laurence in an 1860s Concord as bucolic as ever. Like a warm, encouraging hug!

4. Past Lives (2023)

This bittersweet romantic drama makes me want to call up my boyfriend who moved away the summer after 7th grade and the guy I never dated in college who studied abroad and then transferred and that boy I met at a party a few years ago who said he was moving next week to sail boats in Delaware and then be disappointed none of them are as I remember or imagined who they would become. The best film of the year so far? Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

5. Double Feature - Silly 1943 Musicals About Marrying for Money: Du Barry Was a Lady + Higher and Higher

Movies today should try being as weird as ‘40s musicals. In Higher and Higher (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), a one-time millionaire tries to marry off his maid to a wealthy bachelor, though she may prefer to romance Frank Sinatra (playing himself!) instead. In Du Barry Was a Lady (7.5/10 // 8/10), Lucille Ball is trying to snag herself a rich guy, though she may prefer to romance Gene Kelly instead. (This is a much more obvious addition to my Favorite Tap Dances list on Letterboxd.) Both are silly, but when you’ve got Sinatra singing or Kelly dancing to Cole Porter songs, you’ve still got wow moments. More movies today should detour into 18th century dream sequences!

6. Valley of the Kings (1954)

Robert Taylor and Eleanor Parker go on a high-stakes archaeological dig in the early 1900s set in front of gorgeous photography in Egypt. A fun prototype for Indiana Jones and The Mummy! Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 8/10

7. Asteroid City (2023)

Something Wes Anderson does not get enough credit for: The man has never made a film longer than two hours. This spring’s trend of Wes Anderson-inspired social media may have brought attention to the previously unacquainted, but it took only a few of those superficially xanthic posts to exhaust my Instagram feed. Most social filmmaking is ugly and chaotic, but Anderson’s attention to detail when blocking his troupe of players in the golden ratio, designing perfectly-shaped mushroom clouds, and using color theory to select his palette doesn’t just hold up on a big screen—it deserves it. Read my full review at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 10/10

8. Double Feature - ‘90s Brad Pitt: Legends of the Fall (1994) + The Devil’s Own (1997)

In Legends of the Fall (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Brad Pitt’s nonconformist Tristan upends the lives of his family members (including Anthony Hopkins and Julia Ormond) as they strive to keep their Montana estate through World War I, Prohibition, and the Great Depression. In The Devil’s Own (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10), Pitt’s IRA terrorist Rory upends the life of the family who takes him in (including Harrison Ford) when he escapes to America. One is a soapy historical epic, one is a gritty police thriller, but both show the promise of Pitt’s career.

9. A Tale of Two Cities (1935)

A pretty good adaptation of one of my favorite high school English class reads. Though the nuance and depth of the Mr. Charles “I Get Paid by the Word” Dickens novel can’t be captured in just two hours and the portrayal of Lucie is, well, a lot, Ronald Colman’s Sydney and Blanche Yurka’s Madame De Farge are pitch-perfect, and it’s as moving as its source material. Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

10. Good Reads

The incessant onslaught of more-TV-than-can-possibly-be-watched is reaching critical mass: 

“The Idol and Our Backlash Times,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“‘The End of Peak Television:’ Has the Era of Prestige TV Just Ground to a Halt?” TheGuardian.com (2023)

“Peak TV Is Over. Welcome to Trough TV,” slate.com (2023)

“From Warrior Nun to Three Women, TV Shows are Being Cancelled. Yet Somehow Emily in Paris Lives On,” TheGuardian.com (2023)

“Media's Succession Obsession,” axios.com (2023)

Thoughts on our moment in diversity in TV and movies: 

“Box Office: Early Summer Tentpoles Cash In, Fueled by Diverse Stars,” HollywoodReporter.com (2023) 

“‘Why is Bridgerton’s Race Twisting Acceptable?’ The Real Problem With the Show’s Black Fantasy,” TheGuardian.com (2023)

The Hollywood Reporter continues its impressive breadth of Writer’s Strike coverage: 

“Tom Hanks, Baby Jessica and Lessons from a Three Strike Writer,” HollywoodReport.com (2023)

“Guest Column: If Writers Lose the Standoff With Studios, It Hurts All Filmmakers,” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

And a grab bag of pieces on baseball, basketball, and Beyoncé: 

“The Team Trying Very, Very Hard to Be the Worst in Baseball History,” slate.com (2023)

“Beyoncé Caused Sweden Inflation Bump, Expert Says,” politico.eu (2023)

“The 100 Most Significant Political Films of All Time,” NewRepublic.com (2023)

“The Flash Was Never Going to Run Away From Its Problems,” TheRinger.com (2023)

“Employee of the Month Rewarded With More Work,” vice.com (2023)

Also in June…

I’m processing a lot of emotions about what’s going on at Turner Classic Movies, and I’ve yet to figure out how to put them into words. Until I get there, I’m constantly adding to my list of movies I’ve watched thanks to the people who work there, and you can see the almost-350 of them on Letterboxd. 

Until the end of July, you can see what I’m watching in real time on Letterboxd. Yes, I’ve seen Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One; no I can’t talk about it until after the review embargo lifts on July 5th. 

Pending Twitter doesn’t self-implode before you read this, you can also find me there.

Photo credits: Bananarama, The Stone Roses, Good Reads. All others IMDb.com.

[zoeyfeistpoetry]

Ode to the maternity mourning dress at the RAMM.

Let Love clasp Grief lest both be drown'd,

Let darkness keep her raven gloss:

Ah, sweeter to be drunk with loss,

To dance with death, to beat the ground,

Than that the victor Hours should scorn

The long result of love, and boast,

`Behold the man that loved and lost,

But all he was is overworn.'

– Lord Alfred Tennyson - In Memoriam A.H.H

Why do I obsess and perplex?

O’ Maternity gown encased in Perspex.

Are you clad in down from Ravens and Crows?

Thousands have flocked and pondered your perpetual pose.

Exhibition never-ending, a homage to piety.

Melancholic elegant product of propriety

Delighted by daydreams, enticed by your mystery.

Inferring from prior learning of culture and history

A scattered past and a displaced origin story,

that starts with silks from the Bombyx Mori.

Sailed across the empire, which the sun never sets.

This is the most conspicuous consumption ever gets.

Dyeing was a privilege proposed to the rich.      

Pride steeps in your fibres, sorrow in every stitch.

You are gorge, baby. Proper.

Made-to-measure.

Forster’s bundle joyously pinked and pricked.

You are novel, handsome, stylish, hand-picked.

Deep Mourning sickness for one hundred-plus years.     

You are a bathetic and British barrage of tears.

Pathetic and Prudish. Grieving maiden, mother, and crone.

I see birth and life and death, and none stand alone.

You are more than just a dress; you are a relic of the past,

While the fabrics of culture shift you ever last.

Zoey Feist - Spring 2023

Annotations

Odes: - A formal, ceremonious lyric poem that addresses and often celebrates a person, place, thing, or idea. Most odes in contemporary poetry are irregular odes that take liberties with the form.

RAMM -Royal Albert Memorial Museum – Exeter

Epigraph - In Memoriam A.H.H.” (1850) narrative elegy in 2,916 lines. Tennyson believes it is better to keep the pain of grief fresh in honour of the deceased.

Rhyming Couplets - Traditional for love poetry/sonnets - reinforces devotional tone.

Stanza One:

The vocative “O " invokes something or someone. Invocations call upon deities and spirits for aid, protection, inspiration, and allusion to the religious sentiment of the dress.

Ravens and crows provoke funeral imagery. Feathers became a fashion and social status symbol in the Georgian Era. "The Ladies, the Ladies, have, however, so stripped us of birds for their bonnets " Ornithologist - John Gould, in 1865, blamed his inability to supply a bird exhibit at a museum on women.

Propriety: the state or quality of conforming to conventionally accepted standards of behaviour or morals. Social Propriety pertaining to death and mourning was still strict in this era. Product has two meanings here as the result of propriety and is also a manufactured item.

Stanza Two:

Scattered - occurring or found at intervals or various locations rather than all together. Displaced - take over the place, position, or role of (someone or something) - implies/reminds of British colonisation.

Bombyx Mori - the Latin name for the Silkworm. Mostly found in India. India was part of the British Empire and called The British Raj -or ' The West Indies'. The East India Trading Company would have brought the silk back to England. Silk was a traditional fabric used for mourning clothes.

The saying “The Empire on which the sun never sets” was an expression used to explain the vastness of the British Empire between the 18th and 20th centuries.

Conspicuous, obvious, noticeable, or attracting attention, often in an undesired way. Conspicuous Consumption - Conspicuous consumption is the purchase of goods or services to display one's wealth.

Stanza Three:

Pun: Dyeing – Dying. Funerals were often expensive, grandiose, and public, reserved for the middle and upper classes. Although mass production of dull black fabrics was easier during the industrial revolution, brand-new and bespoke garments were only affordable to the middle and upper classes.

Puns: Tailoring Jargon: Gorge- The depth of the neck. Baby- A stuffed cloth pad on which a tailor works his/her cloth. Made-to-measure - made specially to fit a particular person, or room or purpose. Paired with the word proper (suitable/appropriate). Pinked - Made with care and skill. Frederick Forster was the leading retailer of mourning attire. ‘Forster’s bundle joyously’ is a pun made from the term "bundle of joy" and a tailor’s bundle, in which all the components of a garment are bundled together. Referencing infants and pregnancy. Frederick Forster described his range of attire as “novel, handsome and stylish.” Hand Picked - clothing rack at a ‘draper’ The rise of capitalism during the industrial revolution meant a growing economy. The government encouraged the middle and upper classes to grow the empire's economy.

Stanza Four:

Pun: Deep Mourning – Morning Sickness. During ‘deep mourning’, a widow should wear a deep mourning dress ‘, widow's weeds’ for a year. Black silk or crepe was the conventional material used in mourning garments. In the last nine months of this first mourning year, the amount of crepe worn would gradually reduce. Which is also a full-term pregnancy. This maternity mourning dress has been stuck in this phase/term since being manufactured in 1912.

Bathetic and British barrage of tears: Anticlimactic symbol of British domination. Barrage - Two Meanings 1. a concentrated artillery bombardment over a wide area. Military imagery and imagery of widespread empire through force. Shelling of tears - however, was not a technique used until WW1 1915 – making this an inaccurate reference. 2. An artificial barrier across a river or estuary to prevent flooding, aid irrigation or navigation, or generate electricity by tidal power, barrages were invented in the 1800s. Reminds of the Industrial Revolution

Pathetic and Prudish - Sad and Proud. Maiden, Mother, Crone. The Triple Goddess is the tri-unity of three distinct aspects of womanhood/ three figures united in one being. Georgian women occupied the domestic sphere, had minimal societal roles and had limited opportunities. These are three roles she has in the domestic sphere. Virgin or Child. Wife and Mother, Crone or Spinster.

[poorly-caffeinated-diatribes]

This!! Piracy is actually super ethical most of the time, and it's a tool for preservation, anti-capitalism, and acceptance.

Streaming services have been known to produce exclusive shows, and then to cancel and even go so far as to remove the show entirely from their platform. Shows like Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies are only available through piracy sites and torrents. The same goes for movies likeThe Abyss or Mannequin, which, although being an 80s rom-com and therefore subject to rightful feminist criticism, are still movies that are hard to find unless you scour secondhand DVD stores.

Similarly, this affects music, like the Motown single Do I Love You (Indeed I Do) by Frank Wilson, of which nearly all copies were destroyed, never to see the light of day. There are less than five existing original copies, and though there are versions that were ripped and put on YouTube, there is no guarantee that they will always exist on the internet, and unless you happen to have 25k lying around, your best bet for "owning" this single is piracy.

Not to mention the many indie bands that released albums and then pulled their work off of streaming services. There's a punk band named Blaster the Rocket Man that once pulled their one and only existing album off of Spotify and Apple Music, and although they eventually put the music back up, piracy was the only method available for a bit. And they're far from the only band this has affected. Many people who grew up in the indie punk-rock/garage band scene lost all their favourite artists and are only able to find a few of them through online piracy.

Video game companies stop manufacturing games all the time, and with changing technologies there are many old game systems that simply don't work anymore for most people. I know I can't afford to go out and refurbish an old CRT television, and so I don't expect most people can. Games like the (legit garbage game, but an example nevertheless) ET Atari game, most of which have been destroyed and lost through time, have no way of being played without emulators. Games myself and other gamers can only really play on emulators include previously famous ones like Bad News Baseball, T-2: Judgement Day, 1942, and some of Tomb Raider games. These are games that are cult classics or that were loved by many kids in the 80's, 90's, and early 00's but will never be remade or manufactured by a company again.

Now, software in particular, is where it gets more complicated. I recommend checking out this video by Ben Jordan over on YouTube, because he explains it really well. He's worked in the music industry his whole life, and he's used a lot of different softwares, and he has some very interesting things to say about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7EHRpnJICQ

All in all, as a TLDR for his video, software piracy is often beneficial given that companies often steal their own software from others. You'd be surprised how much money these people make, and there is a wide web of lies and complications behind the scenes that ultimately show that, especially the big software companies, are really really not your friends. Part of the reason that we have legal issues with piracy, especially software piracy, is because of companies that stole their own products from other creatives and then made enough of a fuss in courts that people took their side.

This aside (and my apologies, I know this is a longer post), piracy is also often the only method for many individuals to get media that they otherwise wouldn't have access to. This includes countries where certain media is nearly impossible to get. As you can imagine, due to trade agreements, politics, and media publishers ultimately being greedy and messed up, there are plenty of countries that never see a lot of the media that people in the west might find super easy to get ahold of. Places like the Middle East are generally thought of last in terms of media releases. People in places like China that have their own privatized systems often rely on VPNs and piracy to get ahold of certain media as well. Due to media distribution BS, a lot of countries and regions get the short end of the stick.

Another reason piracy can be helpful is if you live in a particularly strict household, or a household where certain media is frowned upon. I pirated a shit ton of queer media in high school because my parents didn't want me watching things like Love, Simon or Carol. When you're a kid with no job, no money, and homophobic parents, piracy can be your friend.

Now, unfortunately with piracy there are definite downsides. Pirating indie companies and indie films or things like that can get very murky, so when you watch things that were created by an independent team of people who generally should get the money for their product, the common courtesy is to just pay for it. For bigger companies, lost media, and other complicated situations, piracy is great. In general, there are more ups than downs with piracy, and it's not the big bad guy that companies make it out to be.

They just shut down the eShop too lmao

[wozman23]

The Best of Not-E3: Summer Game Fest

I'm still bummed that E3 is no more. I moved out to LA shortly before its demise and thought I'd have plenty of time to attend the event. Yet here we are, in this post-E3 world, with glimpses of the joys of the past like that with Xbox Showcase, and plenty of lulls, like with practically everything else. I think the world of gaming is in a weird place. Development costs are unsustainable. I've said time and time again that the “bigger is better” trend has be ruining games and stifling creativity for over a decade now. Games take way to long to make these day, and the risk is not often worth the reward. Indie games have rebelled against that trend, but all the unique, fun B tier games that used to occupy the space in between are either dead, dying, or under duress. Still, gaming is one of my biggest hobbies, and I can't help but be excited about what is to come the next few years, even if those experiences feel fewer and farther between.

Best Announcement: Alan Wake II: Night Springs DLC

It's no secret that I'm a massive fan of Alan Wake. Don't believe me - look at my last post. So the events started on a high note with Remedy's studio lead, Sam Lake, making another trip from Finland to LA to announce the Night Springs DLC. Seeing him dance his way out on stage put a smile on my face. I was giddy. And then announcing that the DLC would be out the next day came as a surprise. I just finished up the last game I was playing yesterday, and I'm so excited to hop back into the warped, insanely creative world of Alan Wake. I can't get enough of it. I want to see what vision Sam and the team have for where the franchise goes next. And I want to continue to try to string together my own theories about Alan, his story, and how he intertwines with the Remedy Connected Universe. As much as I could easily fall back into my psychosis and make this post about how that announcement was the “Game of the Show” for me, I want to shine some light on the little guys.

Best Indie: Screenbound

The second announcement to blow me away was the indie game Screenbound. It's such a cool concept! And the art style looks so great. I love puzzle-y platforming games, and it looks to mix both genres well. It reminds me a lot of one of my favorites from last year, Viewfinder, which was also love at first sight. And before that there was Toodee and Topdee, which merged 2D and top down game play perfectly. In each of these game's cases, they immediately stood out as games that were looking to take me on experiences that I'd never been on before. Viewfinder and Toodee and Topdee were two of my most anticipated games, and in the end they were my Indie GOTYs the years for those years. Lets hope Screenbound follows in their footsteps.

Best of Show: South of Midnight

I remember looking forward to Contrast from Compulsion Games. We Happy Few was lost on me. But when they showed off their teaser trailer for South of Midnight at last year's Xbox Showcase, I was interested thanks to the rich atmosphere. Now we got a better look at it, with a fleshed out world, some interesting characters, and some game play, and it shot up my Most Anticipated list. I've always been fascinated by the Cajun accent. In almost every case, a heavy accent is a distraction for me. I've always joked that if someone has a noticeable accent, I assume they're dumb. Southern, New Yorkers and New Jersey-ers, all those weird Chicago/Mid-west/Wisconsin/Minnesota accents – all a bunch of dummies. But that Cajun and Creole accent rises above the rest. And here, it is on full display as a love letter to Louisiana. The second that massive catfish showed up, I was sold. He looks cool. He talks cool. He's just cool. This trailer had a lot to take in. A massive gator. Cool looking traversal options. That really cool, stop motion-like animation style. I'm so on board for this one! Apparently it's been drawing a lot of comparisons to Kena: Bridge of Spirits, both good and bad, but I loved that game to death as well, so bring on all the comparisons! I'm always a bit scared when a developer gets acquired by Microsoft. We've seen the ugly side of that with the closure of Tango Gameworks, fresh off their best game Hi-Fi RUSH. And while I applaud Microsoft for their approach with Game Pass, bringing all of their games to the platform on Day 1, I question how profitable that is, and how they decide what is a success and what isn't. And I find it absurd that I can still stream everything via my outdated Xbox One without the pressure to upgrade to a Series X. (Although I recently found my first sacrifice: In Senua's Saga: Hellblade II I couldn't use photo mode since Cloud users stream the PC version which doesn't have a dedicated in-game button for screenshots. But that seems like a small sacrifice to make considering I that by working some gift card deals I just gave them like $150 to play everything they release for the next 3 years.)

Outside of the Xbox Conference, and the initial Summer Game Fest salvo with Geoff, there wasn't much to be excited about. And while Sony did have a show a little while ago – that would have been abysmal if not for Astro Bot – I'd have liked to see more this weekend. I've been critical of Xbox for quite some time now, but they really knocked it out of the park this weekend, at least in terms of putting on a good show. I just renewed my PS+ yesterday, but I feel like I get far more value from Game Pass.

Honorable Mentions:

Doom: The Dark Ages – I loved Doom (2016). Eternal lost me a bit, largely in part due to that one pain in the ass enemy type that felt like it didn't mesh with the series' core ideas of fast, action-packed, brutal game play. Going to the Dark Ages is a really cool twist, and the shield looks like it will be a ton of fun!

Indiana Jones: The Great Circle – I've never seen any of the films. But this feels like a first person, spiritual successor to Uncharted, which I know is a bit odd since the former inspired the latter. And more Uncharted-likes with giant, dynamic set pieces are fine by me.

Deer & Boy – I love cinematic sidescrollers. This one looked so gorgeous and cute. Nothing more needs to be shown for me to add it to the heap of cinematic sidescrollers I'm anticipating. Some join the Pantheon of Greats among the Playdead games, Little Nightmares, and a few others. Others fly too close to the sun. Let us hope this one can keep up with the gods.

Atomfall – Fallout 76 got some new content or something. But I'm over it. Move on. Give me Fallout 5. Atomfall could fill that gap much like Atomic Heart tried to. Let's just hope it strays closer to Fallout in game play than it does to Atomic Heart in namesakes since it was a pretty big letdown when I played it at launch.

ASTRO BOT – The dissolution of Sony's Japan Studio was disheartening. They made some great games over the years. One of my favorites being the criminally underappreciated Puppeteer at the end of the PS3's life cycle. It was such a creative piece of art. The amount of love that went into shaping its world, aesthetic, characters, bosses, levels, and game play variety was absurd. It felt like they out-Nintendoed Nintendo. The game sold so poorly that I believe I may have bought the only copy. From there, Japan Studio went on to make a few Astro Bot demo experiences for PlayStation VR, then fleshed out a terrific full game, ASTRO BOT: Rescue Mission, then baked ASTRO's Playroom into the PS5. All were brilliant platformer experiences that Sony needs more of. So it was bittersweet when it was announced that most of Japan Studio was being shuttered, with the only remaining team being ASTRO BOT's Team ASOBI. ASTRO BOT and Puppeteer seem to share a lot of the same design philosophy. They're super creative and feature some really great boss design. I have to assume that some of the developers who worked on Puppeteer are still working on ASTRO BOT. And I'm really grateful for their contributions. Sadly, outside of this, most of the big Sony studios are in between games right now. We really don't know when Naughty Dog will release something next. Marvel's Wolverine probably still needs some time to cook. Sucker Punch's future is unknown. And the same could be said for countless others like Santa Monica and Housemarque. Usually I walked away from E3s and Not-E3s really excited about what's on the horizon – oohh, we don't know what Guerrilla is doing... what's on the horizon for Sony and wondering what the heck Xbox is doing. But this year they pulled a complete switcharoo. Also the Lego Horizon game could be fun. Let's throw it in this category.

[dustedmagazine]

Andrew Forell’s 2022 Favorite Five plus 22

Anteloper photo by Tim Saccenti

Here, in no particular order, are the five albums I’ve spent the most time with this year and another 22 for 22 that I am still enjoying or just catching up with.

Anteloper — Pink Dolphins (International Anthem)

In July I concluded my review by saying “The thrill of Pink Dolphins is the sense that branch and Nazary have a form of echolocation which guides them, that no matter how deep or murky the waters, they know exactly where the other is and what they are doing”. The loss of jaimie branch in August adds a poignancy to Pink Dolphins and the musical understanding she and Jason Nazary had developed and were deepening with every recording will be sorely missed.

Blackhaine — Armour II (Fixed Abode)

Dancer and choreographer Tom Heyes is best known in the US for his work with the artist formerly known as Kanye West. As Blackhaine he brings the ritualistic intensity of his dance style to the words and music of Armour II. He raps and sings about guilt, paranoia and the violence at the heart of contemporary Britain in the thick accent of his native Lancashire over a mix of drill and cinematic soundscapes. His collaboration with Iceboy Violet and Blood Orange on “Prayer” is one of the songs of year.

 Kevin Richard Martin —  Downtown & Nightcrawler (Self-released)

Kevin Richard Martin AKA The Bug delves into the obsidian depths on these two releases. Slabs of dank, dub inflected post-industrial ambience conjure the pearl clutching dread associated with the housing estates & so-called slums for which the tracks on Downtown are named but also a sense of the communities surviving there in the face of poverty and the threats of gentrification. Nightcrawler is a sort of companion piece, a cinematic post jazz soundtrack to the dangerous glamor of pre-dawn streets which sounds, if possible, like Bohren & Der Club of Gore’s narcoleptic cousins. Highly recommended for underground commutes.

  The Photocopies — greatest hits volume 1 & volume 2 (Self-released)

Sean Turner is a Londoner in Michigan with a deep love of 1980s & 1990s indie guitar music and an output whose prolificacy is only surpassed by its quality. greatest hits volume 1 & volume 2 collect 30 tracks from singles and EPs released between June 2021 and September 2022. Although Turner isn’t reinventing any wheels, his knack for supple melodies and lyrics both heartful and witty elevates these songs. “Control Freak,” “Pop Quiz” and “(Wishing I Had) Tickets for Saint Etienne” are all giddy propulsion and self-aware pop culture references. Even at his most lovelorn the hooks are razor sharp, “I Can’t Imagine What You See In Him” combines yearning and snark over Wedding Present guitars and a glam stomp that The Sweet would have killed for. It’s great fun and heaven knows we’ve been miserable enough.

22 more

700 Bliss — Nothing to Declare (Hyperdub)

Anja Lauvdal — From a Story Now Lost (Smalltown Supersound)

Artsick — Fingers Crossed (Slumberland)

billy woods — Aethiopes (Backwoodz Studioz)

billy woods x Messiah Musik — Church (Backwoodz Studioz)

The Boys with the Perpetual Nervousness — The Third Wave Of … (Bobo Integral)

The Bug — Absent Riddim (Pressure)

Burial — Streetlands (Hyperdub)

Caterina Barbieri — Spirit Exit (light-year

Dot Dash — Madman in the Rain (The Beautiful Music)

Dry Cleaning — Stumpwork (4AD)

Holy Tongue — III (Amidah Records)

I Am — Beyond (Division 81)

Kids on a Crime Spree — Fall in Love Not in Line (Slumberland)

M. Geddes Gengras — Expressed, I Noticed Silence (Hausu Mountain)

Martha — Please Don’t Take Me Back (Specialist Subject Records)

Moor Mother — Jazz Codes (Anti)

Morgana — Contemporaneità (Low Ambition Records)

The Mutual Torture — Don’t (Non-Standard Productions)

Quelle Chris — DEATHFAME (Mello Music Group)

Raw Poetic — Space Beyond the Solar System (22nd Century Sound)

Tom Skinner — Voices of Bishara (International Anthem)

Andrew Forell

[le-souriant]

#MusicMonday Review - April 2024

#MusicMonday is the hashtag I've been using for quite a while to share music recommendations from up-and-coming artists. Always fresh, and always different, trying to look for trends before they become one. You can check March's review for more music.

What does getting lost in the desert, walking through the Campus, a story about nature, love, and just feeling good, have in common? All are the themes of this month's selection. Give it a listen, and dive in, with a word from the artists themselves. 🎧

TV Cult – Empty Quarter

Stranded in the empty quarter Run out of food and water Stranded out here alone But in a mirage I see home

We begin this month in Cologne, Germany for an 80s infused Post-Punk track about not being able to find something to hold on when you need it the most:

"Empty Quarter is about getting lost out in the desert. It's a bit about getting lost in terms of location but also in time.

It's kind of like getting lost from one's inner child (Stranded out by the park, Stranded out after dark). The childhood theme also comes from the title Empty Quarter which is a massive desert in middle east and not far from where I lived as a kid."

Sun God – Campus

walkin through the campus feeling dumb chewin on bubble gum listenin to songs about the dangers of love and no i've never felt it before no i've never felt it before

From Philadelphia, PA, an Indie Rock track perfect for the summer, whistling tunes while skipping stones down at the lake, with no worries at all:

"I think the song is a reflection on being young and wasting time. It’s kind of a sunny weather song, and it’s pretty simple so we wanted to add a bunch of different sounds (layers of warbly guitar, synth, toy keyboards, etc) to make it feel a bit nostalgic."

West Coast Caravan – Them Wicked Ways

Oh baby don't be harsh

From Antwerp, Belgium, let's listen to an Indie Rock song with a story to tell, up for the listener's interpretation:

"All the songs are quite autobiographical or inspired by something I saw someone experience that moved me.

Them Wicked Ways is actually based on a series of events that I and some friends experienced or are still experiencing in this 'wicked' world. We're trying to find a way to act good, which isn't always possible in everyone's eyes.

It was also the first song that wasn't structured like a 'little story'. Normally, the songs I write and we play have a beginning and an ending. Them Wicked Ways is the first one where I just wrote snippets of text that came to my mind and tried to glue them together so it would make sense to the listener, but open to his/her own interpretation."

Andy Smythe – Leaves to Burn

No gospel to learn No faith to confirm No need to discern The reason to yearn

Lovers we're torn By the rose and thorn Damnation to deeds That make these hearts bleed

Look to the river Is its soul with her It winds like a ghost Her spirit evoked

From London, England, a cool retro sounding Brit Pop about the dark depths of life, nature, and love. The tides of reason, distorted by the seasons:

"The track was inspired by my partner commenting that a neighbor who loves their gardening had 'no more leaves to burn'.

I then reimagined my childhood where I spent a lot of time working on farms and thinking back to some of the older men I worked with, who had spent their whole lives working the land. What would such a life be like, you are following a cycle of the seasons, planting in the spring and harvesting in the summer. What if they experienced loss in their lives, would the routine of laboring through the seasons compensate for it?

I'm also influenced a bit by writers such as Laurie Lee, Walt Whitman and Springsteen's writing style on Nebraska, I wanted to paint a panorama of love and loss, the earth and the sky, and reflect on how as modern people we view our connection with nature."

Sugar World – For a Moment

i heard your voice through the speakers tried to call couldn't reach ya i waited up in the bleachers feeling dumb over eager

later on i was tired took a walk through the fire caught a wave in the ocean

Our last stop is Los Angeles, CA for some sugar coated Indie Pop about feeling good for a moment, doing the most trivial things, with the ones you care about:

"It was a combination of being inspired to write a surf rock song, and the lyrics came to be about change, and how situations in life are fleeting.

It's not necessarily about a specific time or person in our own lives, but it was inspired by the feeling of growing up and realizing that things are always changing and will keep changing.

In some ways it's a song about loss, and was inspired subconsciously by loss that we experienced in our own lives."

Listen to them and much more on the complete Playlist:

[aaronafgash]

10 NEW SONGS - 2/23/24

Pretty bad week again for the new tunes, but that’s why I’m here, trying to find the diamonds in the rough. And boy, was this rough. A dishonorable mention to the new corny-ass Justin Timberlake song. Where were you when he lost all rizz? Fascinating what happens when he isn't backed by Pharrell and Timbaland. Anyways, enjoy!

1. Test It - Erika de Casier

There’s something about Erika de Casier’s music that feels mysteriously nostalgic - familiar for reasons I can’t quite pinpoint. It’s almost like I’m discovering an artist from the ‘90s that went under the radar back in the day. That being said - this song rocks. Sultry and lowkey, Erika sings in an almost-whisper, discussing how she and a potential partner need to “test” things out before fully committing. Her album was hit or miss, but this song is a clear hit. (Sidenote - worth listening to "ice" if you want to hear an all-time Andre 3000 impersonation.)

2. I Don’t Love You - Charlotte Day Wilson

Charlotte Day Wilson - who I’ll be referring to as CDW for the remainder of this blurb to avoid writing her long-ass name out again - sings with her soul. “I Don’t Love You” is a classic breakup ballad, but there are some fascinating things happening texturally on the backing production, including synth pads and sped-up samples. “It's more peaceful being heartbroken” is a devastating (but effective) lyric in the first verse. Knowing that shit is going to hurt but accepting that it’s the right thing for yourself? Damn, CDW. Bars.

3. Illusions - Jalen Ngonda

Talk about an old soul. Jalen Ngonda burst onto the R&B scene last year with his debut album Come Around and Love Me, a warm, beautiful soul album that makes you want to dance in the kitchen with your partner. He keeps the vibe going here with “Illusions”, his first release since then. The production is perfect, channeling ‘60s Motown, but his voice is the reason you want to keep listening - this dude would have been a star in any era. Whereas artists like Bruno Mars pick a decade and base an entire album / era on that, what Jalen’s doing here feels much more authentic and grounded - more reminiscent of someone like Leon Bridges.

4. High Value (feat. Ty Dolla $ign) - RJMrLA

I know literally nothing about RJMrLA, but I cannot stress enough how nice it is to hear Ty Dolla $ign collaborate with someone who isn’t a Nazi. Good West-coast beat, solid verses, and a great hook. (We’re only on the fourth song and I’m already starting to struggle. Bear with me.)

5. Britpop - A. G. Cook

A.G. Cook has been one of Charli XCX’s main collaborators for a while now. I tend to have a harder time getting into his solo work, but this is catchy, and you can definitely hear Charli over this kind of beat. We love mindless electronic music!

((Update - after some light reading, I discovered that Charli's voice is the one we hear on this song. Sick!))

6. Karma (feat. Isaiah Rashad) - SiR

TDE-labelmates SiR and Isaiah Rashad link up here for a laid back track. SiR’s recent single “No Evil” hit much harder for me, but I’m not mad at this. 

7. Flowers - Real Estate

Real Estate’s 2014 album Atlas is one of my favorite front to back records of all time, conjuring up nostalgic memories of the spring before graduating high school. Their new album, Daniel, does not live up to that billing! But “Flowers” specifically strikes me as a proper return to form for the indie rock mainstays - a breezy, chill track that just feels like summer.

8. Mine (feat. Shakka) - Ghetts

I mentioned Ghetts’ single with Sampha a few weeks ago - he dropped his full album, On Purpose, With Purpose, today, and this song was a standout. Over an uptempo, soul-sampled beat, Ghetts flows effortlessly while maintaining tactile precision with his words and cadence. Shakka provides a lovely little hook, and we even get a small backing choir supporting him.

9. NO SLACK (feat. Healy) - DLG.

Cool beat / production. Chill. I’m a Healy fan, so that’s why this popped up on my Spotify. I don’t know shit about DLG. so I have little to add here, but it’s worth a listen.

10. Fear - Logic

Cannot emphasize enough how little I want to be associated with Logic fandom, but damn, "Fear" is so good. Released a few weeks ago, I will fully admit that I slept on this. Over a funky guitar riff and a four-on-the-floor house beat, Logic sounds better than expected singing the simple “I can’t let you hold me back” hook. His nimble, brisk raps pair perfectly with the song. My only critique lies in the second half, where we get a full two minutes of a jazzy, slow motion, fully-sung outro. It’s cool! But I would have loved it if they treated it more like a brief interlude, instead of letting it consume what ends up being a majority of the track. Regardless, good job Logic!