poorly-caffeinated-diatribes

[poorly-caffeinated-diatribes]

hey y’all, i was hoping to remain anonymous, but i posted this on my main and would love for y’all to check out this post and interact with it as much as you can!

hello all! a little different of a post than my usual stuff, but i need a favour:

i am writing a cartoon, it’s an indie thing, there’s only me on the project right now, but i need a co-writer.

i don’t want to give too much away in terms of the project and the plot, but it’s got magic, somewhat inspired by gravity falls, owl house, monster prom, hilda, the carmilla webseries, craig of the creek, and old tall fairy and folk tales. it’s called Arcane Antiques, and will feature a queer, bipoc, and disabled of characters from all kinds of backgrounds. and if that isn’t enough, there is a living non-binary mannequin witch who is totally goofy and grumpy and casts spells via ASL. if that doesn’t sell this pitch, i don’t know what will.

if this sounds like your cup of tea, or you know someone else who might he interested in helping me write this, please spread this as far as you can! i would love to get more people on board. i will also be posting soon about voice actors and artists, so stay tuned for that or feel free to message me now if you’d like to be involved early.

thanks in advance! have an absolutely magical time!

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I want to write a story about a relationship so all-consuming it transcends time. I want it to make the reader question whether or not both of the characters could even be real within the confines of the literary universe I have constructed, because I want these characters to be so deeply attached that there is no way to discern one from the other by the end of the book. I want a Fight Club moment where it becomes clear that one of them is fake, but I want it to be so confusing, so illusive that it is never clear which one of them is real and which is fake. I want a story about loving so fully you forget yourself, and loving so fully that you are nothing but yourself. I want a story where people leave with their lungs trampled on the floor and their heart tangled like gum in their hair. I want people to know what it is like to yearn and to yearn so desperately that there is nothing outside of that incessant want, that hunger. It is worse than Tantalus, worse than Erysicthon, it is worse than pain. It is the feeling that lives deep within the recesses of a brain so starved that there is no way to describe it without screaming into the wind and watching it gust away. I want to make the incommunicable entirely and utterly real, I want to make it so visceral that it is all that can be felt. I want people to understand, and I want them to leave the experience knowing that it can never exist ever again.

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A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.

Robert Frost

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The social attitude regarding age is consistently getting weirder. You’re not ‘pushing 30’ you’re just in your late 20s. 30 is not old and neither is 40 while I’m at it. Growing older is an enormous privilege and displaying that age is a gorgeous component of life. Spending your days trying to reverse that grace breeds an eternally wasted life.

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[poorly-caffeinated-diatribes]

April

by Mary Oliver

I wanted to speak at length about the happiness of my body and the delight of my mind for it was April, a night, a full moon and --

but something in myself or maybe from somewhere other said: not too many words, please, in the muddy shallows the

Frogs are singing.

[poorly-caffeinated-diatribes]

i remember being a broken little kid, saying to myself that someday i will be 20 and everything will be better because i can run away and never get hurt again… i guess i had to tell myself what i had to tell myself to keep going back then, but to that little five year old i just have to say: “hun, it didn’t get better. some things got better, but most things didn’t. most things got worse. i’m sorry. but at least we can buy our own ice cream, eat a block of cheese, and watch movies without closing our ears for swears. and you know what? you never stopped being a cowboy and a pirate at heart.”

[poorly-caffeinated-diatribes]

This!! Piracy is actually super ethical most of the time, and it's a tool for preservation, anti-capitalism, and acceptance.

Streaming services have been known to produce exclusive shows, and then to cancel and even go so far as to remove the show entirely from their platform. Shows like Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies are only available through piracy sites and torrents. The same goes for movies likeThe Abyss or Mannequin, which, although being an 80s rom-com and therefore subject to rightful feminist criticism, are still movies that are hard to find unless you scour secondhand DVD stores.

Similarly, this affects music, like the Motown single Do I Love You (Indeed I Do) by Frank Wilson, of which nearly all copies were destroyed, never to see the light of day. There are less than five existing original copies, and though there are versions that were ripped and put on YouTube, there is no guarantee that they will always exist on the internet, and unless you happen to have 25k lying around, your best bet for "owning" this single is piracy.

Not to mention the many indie bands that released albums and then pulled their work off of streaming services. There's a punk band named Blaster the Rocket Man that once pulled their one and only existing album off of Spotify and Apple Music, and although they eventually put the music back up, piracy was the only method available for a bit. And they're far from the only band this has affected. Many people who grew up in the indie punk-rock/garage band scene lost all their favourite artists and are only able to find a few of them through online piracy.

Video game companies stop manufacturing games all the time, and with changing technologies there are many old game systems that simply don't work anymore for most people. I know I can't afford to go out and refurbish an old CRT television, and so I don't expect most people can. Games like the (legit garbage game, but an example nevertheless) ET Atari game, most of which have been destroyed and lost through time, have no way of being played without emulators. Games myself and other gamers can only really play on emulators include previously famous ones like Bad News Baseball, T-2: Judgement Day, 1942, and some of Tomb Raider games. These are games that are cult classics or that were loved by many kids in the 80's, 90's, and early 00's but will never be remade or manufactured by a company again.

Now, software in particular, is where it gets more complicated. I recommend checking out this video by Ben Jordan over on YouTube, because he explains it really well. He's worked in the music industry his whole life, and he's used a lot of different softwares, and he has some very interesting things to say about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7EHRpnJICQ

All in all, as a TLDR for his video, software piracy is often beneficial given that companies often steal their own software from others. You'd be surprised how much money these people make, and there is a wide web of lies and complications behind the scenes that ultimately show that, especially the big software companies, are really really not your friends. Part of the reason that we have legal issues with piracy, especially software piracy, is because of companies that stole their own products from other creatives and then made enough of a fuss in courts that people took their side.

This aside (and my apologies, I know this is a longer post), piracy is also often the only method for many individuals to get media that they otherwise wouldn't have access to. This includes countries where certain media is nearly impossible to get. As you can imagine, due to trade agreements, politics, and media publishers ultimately being greedy and messed up, there are plenty of countries that never see a lot of the media that people in the west might find super easy to get ahold of. Places like the Middle East are generally thought of last in terms of media releases. People in places like China that have their own privatized systems often rely on VPNs and piracy to get ahold of certain media as well. Due to media distribution BS, a lot of countries and regions get the short end of the stick.

Another reason piracy can be helpful is if you live in a particularly strict household, or a household where certain media is frowned upon. I pirated a shit ton of queer media in high school because my parents didn't want me watching things like Love, Simon or Carol. When you're a kid with no job, no money, and homophobic parents, piracy can be your friend.

Now, unfortunately with piracy there are definite downsides. Pirating indie companies and indie films or things like that can get very murky, so when you watch things that were created by an independent team of people who generally should get the money for their product, the common courtesy is to just pay for it. For bigger companies, lost media, and other complicated situations, piracy is great. In general, there are more ups than downs with piracy, and it's not the big bad guy that companies make it out to be.

They just shut down the eShop too lmao

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You licked your lips like a whirlpool in search of a victim

And darling, you know I love to swim

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And should you ever die

I will wrap my arms around your corpse

And pray the worms are hungry

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This road is long, it is winding,

And it echoes the past

It is dark, it is cold

And the only friend I have found

Is the mirror that cries out

"I want to go home"

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The Trans Agenda

Hate-engendering madness, this has all become!

Neo-nazis parade through London, flags raised half-mast for the people who have felt uncomfortable imagining another woman’s testicles in a bathroom stall behind a closed door.

They march on and on, picking up house members along the way, preaching binary code as love, genocide as indifference, and violence as the answer to a problem that never existed.

Families are stomped under foot for daring to speak, to minister, to love, and their daughters, their sons, their children…

They are concussed, confused, fussed over, cussed out

For daring to wear skirts in khaki season

For daring to bind and tape and tuck

For having sex that isn’t missionary, that isn’t with missionaries.

This march continues on, with shouting and screaming, and laughter ringing loudly, while the pope watches on, cock in hand, rubbing one out as he promises only to help if it benefits him and his boredom.

And the authors who once were mothers have fallen to enraging misnomers, their former readers crying out for love, for care, for anything but falsified papers and rumours and war.

War. We are at war. What will become of this war?

Hate-engendering madness, this has all become!

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Ode to a Friend

We clutched our sides

And laughed 'til infinity

We sent our howls through grey skies

Past fallen trees and dying protests

Past the earth and it's blackened craters

Our laughter rang through the great beyond and back,

Echoing through forever,

Rippling through space time,

Smoothing our edges,

And kindly replacing our sutures

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i'm no icarus, but i'll be darned if i don't feel that shit down to my bones

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The hills they are a rollin'

Like the wheels on a car

The hills they are a rovin'

On and on and on

The hills they carry fo'ward

Till they're gone and gone and gone

They hail but the sunset

As they carry through the dawn

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I promise

Call me on the phone, I promise to answer

To read all your sighs as unspoken words,

Their weight but the answer to my own

Call me, darling, I promise to hear

To let the crackling silence echo throughout

My head, my skull, my spine

I promise, I promise

I do

[poorly-caffeinated-diatribes]

this just in: 19 year old crumples under the weight of academics, legal battle preparation, ongoing and unresolved trauma, lack of sleep, activism, and an identity crises. critics have claimed it is "not healthy to drink coffee and avoid sleeping", but their cries have so far gone unheard. the 19 year old in question is unsure what can be done to aid in their situation, and continues to overwork themself without sustaining a healthy diet. more on this after the break