#lost in space 44

[prokopetz]

Your long and arduous journey has led you to this, the final confrontation. You thought you knew what to expect, but just as you struck the final blow, your ultimate foe's eyes gleamed with unnatural light as they proclaimed…

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM

A game for 4–6 players

Introduction

This Isn't Even My Final Form is a GMless tactical minigame for 4–6 players. You'll take on the roles of a party of heroic adventurers nearing the end of a world-spanning quest to defeat a great evil, the Final Boss. Unfortunately for them, each time they think they've won, the Final Boss assumes a new, even more horrifying form, and the struggle begins anew. Is there any end to this conflict? There's only one way to find out!

What You'll Need

This Isn't Even My Final Form requires a dozen six-sided dice, as well as a way of keeping track of a few important numbers – a shared text document or some scrap paper will suffice.

Update 2023-10-30: Print-and-play card decks are available here:

http://penguinking.com/this-isnt-even-my-final-form/

Character Creation

Choose two of the following actions to be your Party Member's Class Actions: Strike, Heal, Buff, Debuff. If you'd rather determine this randomly, roll on the following table.

1. Strike, Heal 2. Strike, Buff 3. Strike, Debuff 4. Heal, Buff 5. Heal, Debuff 6. Buff, Debuff

Give your Party Member's Class a name which suits your Class Actions. Also give your Party Member a name; it is traditional but not obligatory for your Party Member's name to have exactly five letters.

Playing the Game

Play is divided into a series of Phases. During each Phase, one player takes on the role of the Final Boss. That player's Party Member does not participate in this Phase; they're trapped, lost, incapacitated, or otherwise separated from the party or unable to act for the duration of the Phase. All other players take on the roles of their Party Members.

The Final Boss player's first order of business is to describe what the current Phase looks like. The Final Boss player can roll 1–3 times on the following table (re-rolling duplicates) to decide on a theme, or use it as inspiration for their own theme. To use this table, roll a six-sided die twice, treating the first roll as the "tens" place and the second roll as the "ones" place, yielding a number in the range from 11 to 66.

11. Beasts 12. Bells 13. Blood 14. Bones 15. Chains 16. Chaos 21. Cubes 22. Eyes 23. Fire 24. Flowers 25. Food 26. Games 31. Gears 32. Glass 33. Gold 34. Hands 35. Holes 36. Ice 41. Iron 42. Light 43. Mazes 44. Meat 45. Mirrors 46. Music 51. Orbs 52. Order 53. Plague 54. Shadow 55. Slime 56. Space 61. Spikes 62. Teeth 63. Time 64. Trees 65. Weapons 66. Wings

Once the Phase has been defined, set the party's Momentum to zero. Momentum is a value which will increase or decrease over the course of the Phase; it has a minimum value of zero, and no particular upper limit.

Play proceeds in a series of rounds, as follows.

The Final Boss Attacks

The Final Boss always goes first in each round. Roll one die:

1–3: The Final Boss chooses one of the following actions. 4–5: The Final Boss chooses two of the following actions. You may not target the same Party Member twice; however, you may use the same action on two different Party Members if you wish. 6: The Final Boss does nothing this round. On its turn next round, it does not roll and instead uses its Ultimate Attack.

Wound: Inflict the Critical Condition on a single Party Member. If the chosen Party Member already has the Critical Condition, it's replaced with the Down Condition and the party loses one Momentum.

Imprecate: Inflict the Cursed Condition on a single Party Member.

Envenom: Inflict the Poisoned Condition on a single Party Member.

Bewilder: Inflict the Confused Condition on a single Party Member.

Counter: If you're targeted by the Strike or Debuff actions this round, after resolving that action, perform the Wound action on the Party Member who targeted you. You may counter any number of actions in this way.

Dispel: Remove the Buffed and Protected Conditions from any number of Party Members.

Enrage: The Final Boss rolls two dice and takes the better result on its next action. The party may cancel this benefit with a successful Debuff action; doing so removes the extra die instead of forcing the Final Boss to roll twice and take the lower result.

Ultimate Attack: This action can only be chosen by rolling a 6 during the previous round. When the Final Boss uses this action, choose Cursed, Poisoned, or Confused: you may perform the Wound action AND inflict the chosen Condition upon any number of Party Members, in that order. (i.e., Wound each targeted Party Member, THEN Curse/Confuse/Poison any who remain standing.)

The Final Boss player describes the outcome of the chosen action(s) in as much or as little detail as they like; control then passes to the other players.

The Party Acts

After the Final Boss has attacked, each Party Member who doesn't have the Down condition chooses one of the following actions, in any order the players wish. After choosing any action other than Defend, the player rolls their dice pool, which is a handful of six-sided dice constructed as follows:

Start with a number of dice equal to the party's current Momentum (initially zero, though it will grow over the course of the Phase)

Add one die if you're performing one of your Party Member's Class Actions

Add one die if your Party Member currently has the Buffed Condition

Add one die if your Party Member currently has the Critical Condition

Roll all of the dice together, and find the highest result. Ties for the highest result have no special significance; for example, if you rolled four dice and got 1, 3, 5 and 5, your result is 5. If you'd ever end up with zero or fewer dice for any reason – either because your dice pool was empty to begin with, or because some effect obliged you to discard every die you rolled – you receive an automatic result of 1.

If an action requires you to target a specific Party Member or make other choices, you can wait and see the result of your roll before making those decisions.

Strike: You attack the Final Boss. Roll your dice pool:

1–3: Nothing happens – either the attack misses, or the Final Boss turns out to be immune to whatever you just did. 4–5: The attack strikes true. The party gains one Momentum. 6: Critical hit! The party gains two Momentum.

Special: If you roll triples or better (i.e., at least three of the same number) on a Strike action, the Final Boss' current Phase is defeated, and you move on to the next Phase. It doesn't matter what number comes up triples.

Heal: You attempt to restore the party's strength. Roll your dice pool:

1–3: You may remove the Critical Condition from a single Party Member. If no Party Member has the Critical Condition, nothing happens. 4–5: You may remove the Critical Condition from any number of party members OR you may remove the Down Condition from a single Party Member. 6: You may remove the Critical and Down Conditions from any number of party members.

Buff: You attempt to bolster a party member. Roll your dice pool:

1–3: You may grant the Buffed Condition to a single Party Member OR remove a Condition of your choice other than Critical or Down from a single Party Member. 4–5: You may grant the Buffed Condition to a single Party Member AND remove a Condition of your choice other than Critical or Down from that Party Member, if they have one. 6: You may grant the Buffed Condition OR remove a Condition of your choice other than Critical or Down to any number of Party Members. You may choose a different option for each targeted Party Member.

Debuff: You attempt to weaken the Final Boss. Roll your dice pool:

1-3: Nothing happens – it turns out the Final Boss was immune to that effect. 4–5: The Final Boss rolls two dice and takes the lower result on its next action. 6: The Final Boss rolls two dice and takes the lower result on its next action AND the party gains one Momentum.

Defend: You may grant the Protected condition to a Party Member of your choice. Do not roll.

Based on the outcome of your roll (if applicable), describe the outcome of your action in as much or as little detail as you wish.

Once each Party Member has acted, return to "The Final Boss Attacks" to begin the next round.

Ending the Phase

As noted above, rolling triples or better on a Strike action results in the immediate defeat of the current Phase. Alternatively, if all Party Members simultaneously have the Down Condition, the Final Boss player's Party Member suddenly breaks free or arrives on the scene and rescues everyone in a stunning deus ex machina; this also ends the Phase, but does not count as defeating it.

In either case, reset the party's momentum to zero, remove all Conditions, and move on to the next Phase. The role of the Final Boss passes to a different player, with preference given to those who haven't yet had a chance to be the Final Boss; the previous Final Boss player resumes playing their Party Member.

Continue until the party has defeated a number of Phases at least equal to the number of players, or until mutual agreement has been reached that all this has gone on quite long enough.

Conditions

Some actions can impose Conditions upon the individual Party Members. Conditions can be positive or negative, and last until specific conditions for their removal are met.

Buffed: Your strength has been boosted. When rolling your dice pool, you roll one extra die.

Confused: You've lost your wits. When the party acts, your action is determined by rolling a d6 – 1: Strike; 2: Heal; 3: Buff; 4: Debuff; 5: Defend; 6: do nothing this round AND remove this Condition. This Condition is also removed if you gain the Critical Condition while under its effects. You may choose targets normally if the rolled action requires them. Confused Party Members always act before their un-Confused peers; if there are multiple Confused Party Members, the Final Boss decides the order in which they act.

Critical: You are badly wounded. Desperation lends strength, and so this Condition adds one extra die to your dice pools; however, if you suffer the Critical Condition a second time, it becomes the Down Condition instead.

Cursed: You've been afflicted with misfortune. Discard your highest result after rolling your dice pool, but before applying your chosen action's effects. If there's a tie for the highest result, discard all of them; for example, if you roll four dice while Cursed and get 1, 3, 5 and 5, your result is 3. If the Condition causes you to discard your only set of triples of better on a Strike action, the Phase does not end.

Down: You are incapacitated by injury or foul enchantment. When the party acts, you may not choose an action; your action remains lost even if this Condition is removed before the end of the round. When you gain this Condition, remove all other Conditions, and the party loses one Momentum. (This is not in addition to the Momentum loss noted by effects which inflict this Condition – those are just reminders.) You may not gain other Conditions while this one persists.

Poisoned: You're afflicted by a poison, plague, or death-curse. If you have the Poisoned Condition after resolving your action for the round, you gain the Critical Condition. If you already have the Critical Condition, you instead gain the Down Condition, and the party loses one Momentum.

Protected: The next time you would gain any Condition other than Buffed, remove this Condition instead. You also remove this Condition if you take any action other than Defend on your turn.

[thetireddoktor]

50 Questions about the Bishops

Note: You can specify which bishop you’re asking about, you don’t have to write for all four unless you choose to!

1 Were the Bishops born into their roles, or did their crowns choose them, or did they stumble upon them?

2 Which sibling was the most protective growing up?

3 Did any of them have childhood nicknames? If so, what were they?

4 How did they discover their domains (Chaos, Famine, Pestilence, War)?

5 Which Bishop adapted easiest to their role? Who struggled the most?

6 Do your Bishops have unique physical features (scales, scars, patterns, markings) that reflect their domains?

7 How tall are your Bishops compared to one another?

8 What are their signature weapons or magical abilities?

9 Describe one or all of the Bishop's unique traits.

10 How do they each maintain or decorate their crowns?

11 What’s each Bishop’s favorite food?

12 Do any of the Bishops have unusual habits or quirks?

13 Who among them is the most affectionate? Who struggles with showing affection?

14 Do they have any pets or companions within their temples?

15 How do they each feel about music or art?

16 Which sibling relationship is the strongest? Which is the most complicated?

17 Did any of the Bishops have close relationships or friendships outside their immediate family?

18 How does each Bishop handle conflict or arguments with their siblings?

19 Have any Bishops taken romantic partners? If so, describe them.

20 Are any of the Bishops especially good with children?

21 Describe the interior design of one of (Or all) the Bishop’s temples.

22 How do each of them recruit followers?

23 Which Bishop is strictest with their followers, and which is the most lenient?

24 What rituals or traditions are unique to each Bishop’s cult?

25 How involved is each Bishop in their followers' daily lives?

26 What does each Bishop secretly fear?

27 Do any of them have recurring dreams or nightmares?

28 Have any of the Bishops ever questioned their purpose?

29 Which Bishop has the hardest time controlling their domain’s darker impulses?

30 Do any of them regret their part in imprisoning Narinder?

31 How did each Bishop initially react when Narinder's rebellion began?

32 Do the Bishops feel justified in imprisoning Narinder?

33 Does any Bishop secretly wish the prophecy of rebellion had turned out differently?

34 How does each Bishop view the concept of fate versus free will?

35 Which Bishop most resents their role or responsibilities?

36 Do the Bishops experience chronic pain or lasting injuries from the fight with Narinder? (Excluding the loss of Ears, eyes, throat and skull)

37 How do they manage their physical or psychological injuries?

38 Have any Bishops developed unique coping mechanisms for stress or trauma?

39 Do they ever rely on each other for emotional or medical support?

40 Which Bishop would hide an illness or injury out of pride?

41 If the Bishops had a hobby unrelated to their duties, what would it be?

42 Which sibling would most likely keep a diary or personal journal?

43 Do any of them have a sweet tooth? Favorite desserts?

44 How does each of the Bishops handle being teased or joked with?

45 Are any Bishops secretly sentimental or nostalgic?

46 How would each Bishop react if they were spared and brought into a new cult?

47 Do any of the Bishops long for forgiveness from Narinder, or do they expect his forgiveness? Do they even want it?

48 As Followers, how do they cope without their crowns?

49 Who out of the four Bishops would adapt most easily to life among mortals if they lost their divine powers?

50 Free headcanon space!

[neosprites]

Digital Stamp Making Tutorial

Hello, and welcome to the long-awaited(at least on my part) digital stamp-making tutorial from neosprites! I’d like to preface that I learned what I was doing from this tutorial so it may be a bit redundant, but if anything I get a bit more specific. Thank you so much to @graphic--horde for your work, it changed me as a graphic maker. This is gunna be a long post so feel free to bookmark it for later. Now, onto the show!

The frame I will be using for this tutorial (which is the frame I use on 99.9% of my stamps) I found from the above linked post, which I believe is from a creator that OP lost track of. Its inner dimensions are 94x50 pixels and its outer dimensions are 99x56 pixels. Here it is!

Find your material! - I recommend using websites like Tumblr and searching with the “GIF” filter only on, or alternatives such as Giphy or Tenor. Your browser may let you directly save the .gif file; if not and you are noticing it restricts you to save it as a .webp file you can try an extension like “Save webp as PNG or JPEG” (for Firefox but I image other browsers have similar functions, but I really recommend you switch to Firefox). To use this you will right click on your source .gif like normal but instead of clicking on “Save image as…” click “Save webP as…” and then click “GIF”. You should be redirected to the website ezgif.com where we will actually be doing all of our editing! Here’s the .gif we’ll be working with.

Convert to GIF (optional) - if you used the extension from the above step you should already be ready to click the blue “Convert to GIF” button. If not, go ahead and open ezgif.com and click on “webP” and then “WebP to GIF”; then convert to a gif with the blue button.

Resize the GIF - now that we have a gif ready to edit, let’s make it the right size. The easiest method I have found is to change it directly to the frame’s inner dimensions, 94x50 pixels. [EDIT: Make sure in the aspect ratio drop drop menu you select "stretch to fit" and not "center and crop to fit" like I did in the photo example.] Click “resize” and then type [94] in for the width and [50] for the height. Next press the blue “resize image” button.

Add the frame - next click “overlay” then click the thin blue button that says “Extend canvas size(use if overlay exceeds GIF sizes)”. This will give us some extra room to add the frame onto the design. Next click “Browse…” and find the frame you have saved onto your device, then click the blue “Upload image” button.

After that it’s going to be misaligned, that’s normal! It will say you have the option to drag it into place, but don’t bother. That’s one of the reasons my old stamps look wack, it’s just harder to do. Instead type [44] in for the Left box and [22] in for the Right box. It took me a while to figure out these dimensions to be honest, and I’ve only tested it with this frame so I don't know if it works with others. Then click the blue “Generate image” button.

Crop the transparent edges - click on “crop”. You will have the option to check a box that says “trim transparent pixels around the image” however, I don’t recommend this as it tends to crop a few of the frame’s pixels with it sometimes. Next, set the Left position to [44] and the Right position to [22]. For the other dimensions we will use the outer dimensions of the frame which are 99x56 pixels, this will trim everything except the tiny spaces in between the stamp frame’s spikes. Type the width as [99] and the height as [56] and click the tiny blue button that says “set”. After that click the blue “Crop image” button.

Save and use! - all that's left is to click “save” and upload the graphic to your liking. (best seen on dark mode obviously)

If you’d like to tag me in stamps you’ve made using my tutorial I would love to see them, but it’s not required!! Make sure to always give credit for pictures/gifs when you can and try not to make stuff out of personal/fan art. Thank you to the person in my inbox who requested this tutorial, I had been meaning to for a while but it was just the kick I needed. :)

[daisymbin]

No.44 fluffy prompt for cheol please? 🍒

Tysm! <3

(it's me again) 🐱🐱

ofc lovely!!! thank you for coming back and sorry this took so long :(

full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // cheol's m.list

fluff prompt #44: "let’s stay up all night talking, just like we used to."

seungcheol’s fingers tapped idly on the edge of the kitchen counter as you rummaged through the fridge, searching for something to snack on before getting ready. he hadn’t said much all afternoon, but you could feel the weight of his gaze lingering on you.

“you’re quiet,” you said, glancing over your shoulder with a small smile. “what’s on your mind?”

he shrugged, but his eyes softened as they met yours. “just thinking.”

you raised a brow, closing the fridge and leaning against the counter opposite him. “what about?”

he hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before flickering back to yours. “about how much i miss you.”

your smile faltered, replaced by a slight frown. “but cheol, we’ve been together all week.”

“not like that,” he said, shaking his head. “we’ve been around each other all week, sure. but it’s been... noisy, you know? dinners, lunches, birthdays, plans. i feel like we haven’t had a second to just... be us.”

his words struck something deep in your chest, guilt creeping in as you realized he wasn’t wrong. lately, every moment together had been filled with conversations about work, friends, and family—but not each other. you hadn’t realized how much you’d missed your quiet moments with him until now.

“we’ll have time soon, maybe tomorrow?” you offered, though the words felt like a flimsy attempt at reassurance.

he pushed off the counter, closing the small space between you. his hands found your waist, anchoring you in place as he looked down at you, his expression both serious and tender. “maybe tomorrow? why not tonight?”

you blinked up at him, surprised. “tonight? but we have bowling plans with jeonghan and mingyu.”

his lips curved into a soft smile, and he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “they’ll survive if we cancel. i just want to be with you.”

the sincerity in his voice made your heart ache in the best way. you reached up, letting your fingers lightly brush against his jaw. “are you sure? jeonghan’s going to complain so much for bailing last minute, you know how he hates thay.”

he chuckled, leaning into your touch. “let him. he should be used to it by now.”

you laughed, shaking your head. “you’re really set on this, huh?”

hmm, he hummed without hesitation. “let’s stay up all night talking, just like we used to. no interruptions, no distractions—just us.”

the way he looked at you, like you were the only person in the world, made it impossible to say no. you nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “okay. let’s do that. but i'm not calling him, you do it.”

he grinned, the weight in his eyes lifting as he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. “perfect. i’ll call jeonghan.”

“good luck with that,” you teased, watching as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

you listened as he explained the change of plans, half-expecting jeonghan to give him a hard time. and of course, he did—but seungcheol stood firm, his tone light yet unwavering as he apologized and promised to reschedule.

when he hung up, he turned back to you with a triumphant smile. “and that’s how it’s done.”

you rolled your eyes, but your laugh betrayed you. “you’re lucky he loves you.”

“i’m lucky you love me,” he corrected, pulling you into his arms.

the rest of the evening unfolded like something out of a dream. you sprawled out on the couch together, legs tangled as you talked about everything and nothing—work, dreams, and the little moments that had made you both smile recently.

“so,” he said suddenly, tilting his head to look at you, “what books have you been reading lately?”

you blinked, caught off guard by the question. “books? that’s random.”

he grinned, his dimples making an appearance. “i’m curious. you always get so lost in them, but i never know what you’re reading about.”

you laughed, leaning your head against his shoulder. “okay, fine. i just finished a romance novel last week. it was cute.”

he raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. “cute? should i be worried about some fictional guy stealing your heart? again?”

“maybe,” you teased back, poking his side. “but don’t worry—you’re still my number one.”

“good,” he said, wrapping his arm around you. “because i don’t plan on giving up that spot anytime soon.”

you smiled, warmth spreading through your chest.

“what else?” he asked. “any weird dreams lately? new songs stuck in your head? tell me everything.”

you laughed, shaking your head. “you’re really digging for the most random things, huh?”

“i just want to know what’s been on your mind,” he said, his tone softer now. “i feel like i’ve missed so much lately.”

your heart ached at the sincerity in his voice, and you reached up to cup his cheek. “you haven’t missed anything important. i promise.”

“everything about you is important,” he murmured, his gaze locking with yours.

as the hours slipped away, you found yourself talking about everything & it felt like no time had passed since those late nights you used to share.

“i forgot how much i missed this,” you murmured, your head resting on his chest.

“i'm glad i didnt,” he teased, his voice tinged with contentment.

you tilted your head up to look at him, catching the soft smile that lingered on his lips. “cheol?”

“hmm?”

“thank you.”

his brows furrowed slightly. “for what?”

“for reminding me how important this is. us.”

his expression softened, and he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “you don’t have to thank me for that. you’re my person. i’ll always make time for you.”

you smiled, snuggling closer to him as his words wrapped around you like a warm hug. “i love you.”

“i love you more,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your hair.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Start Again (Honkai: Star Rail Short Fic)

Tingyun (Fugue) x Reader

It's 2am as of writing, I get up at 7 for work, but I refuse to sleep until this brainworm has left. Burn by FLOW and many Gundam Unicorn songs inspired this piece. Post edit note: IT'S 3:44 AM BUT THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT Content: Angst to Comfort(Considering the circumstances, anyway) Word Count: 1.6k Apologies if this is OOC, the brainrot was VICIOUS

Fugue's dreams have led her here again. Sitting at a familiar setting, with a familiar face by her side.

It takes her a moment or two to recall where exactly she is. The...Earl?

The exact name escapes her, but she knows the feelings it brings her. Comfort, yet sadness. She knows returning there on the Loufou will not be as it once was.

But the person next to her smiling? The one holding her hand, failing to contain a laughter that instantly makes her at ease? She could never forget your name.

And yet in this instance, your lips move, but no sound comes out. The only noise that she can hear is her own breathing, one that grows ragged with every second she looks at you.

Her hands squeeze yours back without her input, feeling her own lips move. But just like you, she says yet another line lost to time, and still your eyes glimmer with such excitement.

What promises had she made to you back then?

What promises will she not be able to keep?

Just as Fugue had gotten bearings of her surroundings, the dream seems to fragment yet again, as her vision fades into darkness.

...

Fugue's eyes rapidly blink, forcing her daze out and focusing back on the present. She can see the reflection of herself on the glass, half expecting to see her past appearance.

She was aboard the Astral Express, staring out into the stars again. Fugue continued only for a few seconds longer before realizing that she wasn't alone in the car, with the Trailblazer standing behind her.

(Fugue) "Oh, Benefactor! My apologies, I didn't know you were standing there."

Fugue smiled with a hand over her chest, though the pain from the memory had yet to fade. Something that was all too evident, apparently.

(Caelus) "Are you okay? You're crying."

Fugue's hand immediately reached for the corner of her eyes, finally feeling the trickle that was building up, and with a sigh she let her hand drop back down to her waist.

(Fugue) "...Would you mind indulging in a question of mine?"

The Trailblazer leaned against the glass next to her, crossing his arms as he gave a thoughtful nod.

(Caelus) "Ask away."

Fugue turned back around to face the stars, trying to compose herself and find the proper way to ask Caelus a nagging thought of hers. Before, she could have easily found away to articulate her thoughts, but alas that was yet another part of her taken.

Her eyes drifted along the rim of the windows, eventually staring out into space again.

(Fugue) "What would be the first thing you would say to someone who thought you were gone forever? Someone who loved you more than anything else?"

Fugue didn't hear a response from him, not for a little while. When it was clear that was her only question, Caelus eventually sighed and gave her an answer.

(Caelus) "I guess...Hey."

...Hey?

That was it?!

Fugue immediately turned her attention back to Caelus, who was now awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck at her sudden frown.

(Fugue) "That is wildly inappropriate! How can the first thing I say to them just be a simple greeting?!"

Caelus's lips curled into a smile, moments away from saying something either witty or irritating, only to stop at the last second as his expression became serious again.

(Caelus) "You remember (Y/N)?"

(Fugue) "...So you've met them too."

Caelus nodded, motioning towards the nearby couch for them to sit down. After they had gotten comfortable, he leaned forward with both his hands clasped together.

(Caelus) "Only a few times, when they were with...-"

Fugue suddenly felt it hard to breathe, imagining the pain you must have felt realizing the person you loved was actually a monster wearing their skin, thinking that you would never see them again.

Caelus's next response immediately snapped Fugue out of her reverie.

(Caelus) "-...They still love you, Fugue."

She said nothing, taking a moment for his words to settle in.

(Caelus) "If I saw someone again after a long time, anything they'd say would be of some comfort. At least, that's the way I see it."

Fugue looked again towards the stars, but this time her reflection in the glass seemed all the harder to ignore.

(Caelus) "That's why I think a greeting is a way to start again. The best way? Probably not but...It's better than nothing, or just leaving them alone."

Fugue's gaze eventually trailed down to her own hand, her tail slowly swishing to her side.

(Fugue) "...Even when the person they loved is no longer the same?"

Caelus leaned back into the seat, staring out into the stars with his friend.

(Caelus) "Even then."

...

You decided that it'd be a good time to take a small break, and relax on a nearby bench, hearing the distant hum of starskiffs from above.

This was a quieter part of the Loufou, though it could never become entirely silent. Regardless, it always helped calm you down, at least somewhat, when your mind began to race again.

Truth be told, you wish you could be busy to keep your mind off things. Even though almost an entire year had passed since the funeral, your mind still couldn't help but think about Tingyun.

Sighing, you began to move off the bench when a familiar voice called out to you.

(???) "H-Hello, (Y/N)..."

Your swore your heart stopped for a moment or two as your body quickly swiveled to the person you swore was-

(Y/N) "Tingyun...?"

The woman in front of you looked almost exactly like your now dead girlfriend. Though her hair was longer, the clothing darker-The details differed ever so slightly, but you were sure.

That's Tingyun in front of you right now.

You wanted to reach out and hug her, to start crying on the spot and begin shouting to the skies how much you missed her. And yet...

Her eyes. Her eyes that once held such warmth for you alone, no longer sparkled in that same way. As if...she were talking to a stranger.

What seemed like a small eternity had passed before she sighed, sitting at the bench beside you, though not quite close enough, leaving a noticeable space between you two.

(Y/N) "...Are you really?-"

(Fugue) "Yes and...No."

Calling herself 'Fugue', she began explaining what exactly had led to her return, and although she was the woman you loved, at the same time it wasn't.

Her memories were fragmented, and although the finer details were lost forever, certain people and things that held significance to her seemed to be the only things intact.

Meaning that you were one of the anchors allowing her to even survive.

(Fugue) "...And now, I have a second chance at life, perilous as it is still."

(Y/N) "...What exactly do you remember of me, if I can ask."

Fugue pursed her lower lip, brows furrowing as her expression alone told you how little actually came to mind. Every second that passed was like a dagger twisting further into your heart, only stopping momentarily when she collected her thoughts.

(Fugue) "Besides your name...your smile...How warm your hands are, and how nice they feel when I hold them..."

Fugue tried with all her might to recall that dream. Even though it was so damn vivid every night, why did she struggle to recall it the moment she needed it the most?

(Fugue) "I...I think we had tea in front of the...Earl...?-"

(Y/N) "The Sleepless Earl, hah..."

You closed your eyes as tears threatened to spill out. Hearing her speak again was agonizing, yet relieving all at the same time. It was her, yet not her...Despite that, you finally knew in some capacity, she was safe and breathing next to you again.

Though, you must have done a poor job of masking your emotions since you felt a familiar touch you've missed brush against your cheek, feeling a thumb wipe away a tear that fell out.

(Fugue) "I...I didn't mean to hurt you. I shouldn't have come to you. I'm so-"

(Y/N) "Don't!"

Your body moved faster than your mind, immediately grabbing her hand when it tried slipping away. Fugue was somewhat startled, yet she quickly relaxed, seemingly soothed by your touch as well.

(Y/N) "...Sorry."

Clasping her hand again, you struggled to let go before gently putting her hands on her lap and maintaining that respectful distance.

(Y/N) "Knowing that you're alive again is more than enough for me. E-Even if you are on a razor's edge right now."

Truthfully, you didn't know if that was actually any better. You weren't sure if your heart could handle seeing her die again, but the illogical part of your brain was just happy to see her, to hear her speak, to hear her call out your name-

(Fugue) "(Y/N)."

You turned back to Fugue, who now had tears prickling the corners of her eyes too, her hand sitting in the middle of the space between you two.

(Fugue) "Do you know what my name means?"

You nod. You weren't oblivious to the symbolism of her new name.

(Y/N) "A loss of self."

(Fugue) "...And someone who's starting again."

She shifts her hand, her palm now facing outward. Now, she's giving you the smile you adored for all these years, one that never failed to make your heart race and cheeks flush.

This time, her smile is making tears rush down your face freely.

(Fugue) "I think it will take some time, but...I'd like to start again with you. And...to fall in love with you once more."

The smile you give back seems to have the same effect, even if Fugue doesn't entirely know the reason why she feels connected to you.

Not that particular bit stopped you from wiping away her tears this time, and letting your foreheads rest against each other.

Starting again didn't sound too bad.

[tennessoui]

Would you like to do this one for Obikin ? 👀

22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

💯

[from this list of prompts]

[2. 'have you lost your damn mind?' (LATEST) - 5. 'are you jealous' - 13. 'kiss me.' - 14. 'hey, i'm with you, okay? always.' - 18. 'this is the stupidest plan you've ever had. of course i'm in.' - 19. 'the paint is supposed to go where?' - 24. 'you're the only one i trust to do this' - 27. 'i'm pregnant' - 28. 'marry me?' - 29. 'i thought you were dead' - 32. 'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified' - 37. 'wanna dance?' - 44. 'if you die, i'm gonna kill you' - 41. 'you did all of this for me?' - 46. 'hey, have you seen...? oh']

22. 'I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice.'

"Oh," a very familiar voice says. "I wasn't aware you were attending the banquet tonight."

Anakin stares down at the empty plate before him. The servers are moving around the tables as guests rise from their seats and begin to chatter amongst themselves. Anakin thinks for a moment about trying to catch his master's eye, but Qui-Gon is across the hall in deep conversation with the representative of Alderaan the last time that Anakin checked. And anyway--he's not sure his master would intervene to help him with this problem.

Even though, technically speaking, this problem is half Qui-Gon's problem. Or, like. At least a quarter of it.

Probably.

"Though I suppose I would have known if you'd responded to my comm-message," the voice says in a lilting and crisp Coruscanti accent that Anakin knows is as much of a ruse as the rest of him.

Anakin scowls down at the table and counts to five. He is here to represent the Jedi Order as a senior padawan. He is not here to start a diplomatic incident by stabbing Prince Kenobi in the hand with a shrimp fork.

Or is it Lord Kenobi?

He thinks, yes, technically probably a lord. Or maybe it was a knight? A duke? Anakin can never remember all the words that make up Kenobi's title. He just knows that Kenobi's elder brother married the queen of Stewjon, so he's now the king consort, and Obi-Wan got to claim a bunch of useless titles without even doing any of the hard work.

And so Obi-Wan Kenobi gets to call himself a prince now when once, he'd called himself a padawan.

Once, even, he'd called himself Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan.

Anakin counts to five again and gathers up all the diplomatic words and scripts he's learned over the years. Then, he actually turns and faces Kenobi, and all of those words fly out of his mind.

Kenobi looks unfairly good in the ivory white of his outfit. The top half is mostly lace, which--isn't it cold in space? Isn't it cold on Stewjon?

He's wearing a small, ceremonial circlet atop his auburn hair, and the glinting gold of the crown offsets the white of his robes nicely. He just--

He looks so beautiful, even as he's lounging in the chair next to Anakin, eyes pinned on his face as if he'd wait all night just to hear him speak.

That sort of look is dangerous. Anakin knows that intimately well. That sort of attention...Anakin isn't built to withstand it for long. Not without succumbing to all and any of Kenobi's demands. He's sure he has a backbone, but it just melts when he's around Kenobi.

But not anymore. Anakin's twenty now, and he's going to be Knighted any day. He's above such weakness.

"I'm sixteen years your junior," Anakin bites out, hand becoming a fist in his lap. "Don't you think maybe it's a little inappropriate to be comm-messaging me without my master's approval?"

Despite the venom he tries to weave through what should be a cutting rebuke, Kenobi's eyebrows raise. He doesn't look ashamed nor does he look particularly discouraged. "After all the rest of the inappropriate things we've done together, darling, I'd think you'd overlook a comm-message."

Anakin's scowl grows exponentially, but Kenobi continues without pause, "Though if you'd like me to get your master's retroactive approval for every time we've interacted, I shall of course. Do you think he'd approve of your judicious but creative use of the Force when you used it to hold me up against the Senate Commons wall and kriff me silly before my meeting with the Chancellor, or should I leave that out?"

Anakin can feel his face flushing, and he's quick to stand, throwing his napkin onto his empty plate and striding away. He needs--he needs to be further away from Kenobi. He needs to not look at the man, not hear him. Then, he'll stop wanting him.

He must stop wanting him. It's ruining his life.

So of course Kenobi follows him because there's nothing he loves more than ruining Anakin, apparently. He's not even being subtle about it anymore, grabbing Anakin's wrist in plain view of all and sundry and using his grip to tug him out of the banquet hall and into an unused nook of space.

It's small enough that there's not much room to stand apart, but Kenobi at least makes the good faith attempt to drop Anakin's wrist and step away from him. In the Force, he feels strange. Worried, almost, which is not an emotion that Anakin has ever felt from Kenobi. Kenobi, who crafts an air of not caring about anything or anyone whenever Anakin and his master are near. Kenobi, who's purposefully disrespectful to Master Jinn, acts purposefully slow and air-headed and conceited.

He could have been one of the best of us, Jinn had told him once. It was the only time he'd ever talked about Kenobi. He made different choices, and I suppose he still blames me for them.

"Come now, Anakin, tell me what's wrong," Kenobi says, nudging at him almost clumsily in the Force. The touch startles Anakin. It's been twenty years or so since Obi-Wan left the Order. Or since Master Jinn refused to take him back as his padawan after a mission on a civil-war struck planet and Obi-Wan had had no choice but to leave the Order.

Jocasta Nu told him once: all stories have different endings and beginnings when the teller changes.

He thinks that's especially true when it comes to whatever tension exists between Kenobi and Qui-Gon. Though Anakin wasn't wise enough to keep himself out of it, he's certainly not stupid enough to shove his nose so forcefully into the middle of it.

"I've seen the way you've looked at me tonight when you think I'm not looking," Kenobi is saying, wheedling really, as his Force signature rubs even more insistently up against Anakin's, like a--like a loth cat winding around his ankles, searching for affection it knows it will be offered.

No. Not anymore.

"Enough," Anakin snaps, throwing up his highest shields and pushing away from Obi-Wan.

"Just tell me what I've done, darling," Kenobi says. Pleads, really. A part of Anakin thinks it's a very good look on him, and then hates himself for thinking it. Weak. Kenobi makes him weak. "It's not that you don't want me anymore, or you'd have spent less time gawping at me all night."

The words are cruel in their truthfulness and they hit unerringly at Anakin's shame, and so he's snarling back at him before he can stop himself: "Everyone was gawping at you, you're dressed like a schutta."

Kenobi doesn't look to be offended, which riles Anakin further.

But then--then the man steps closer and rests a hand on his chest. They're of a height now that Anakin's grown another two inches over the summer. Obi-Wan's eyes are right there. His lips, also.

"And yet who have I dragged off into a dark corner to ravish me?" Kenobi asks, voice pitched low and eyes blinking sultry blue at him from beneath his eyelashes.

"Yeah," Anakin bites, "only because even after twenty years you're still trying to get back at my master for throwing you out like trash. But the stupid thing is that he doesn't even think about you anymore."

The words hit the way Anakin had meant them to, but as he watches the way Obi-Wan's eyes shutter, the way his mouth tightens and the way he takes a step back and his hand coming up to hold his elbow, Anakin realizes that he didn't--he didn't realize what it would look like, to hurt Obi-Wan.

He hadn't realized Kenobi could be hurt, that Anakin had that sort of power.

And maybe he doesn't really, maybe this is just Anakin's master hurting Obi-Wan all over again, but it's still Anakin wielding the weapon. Anakin who was trusted enough that Obi-Wan did not see it coming.

"I see," Obi-Wan says, and Anakin can't hide his wince at the tone. He doesn't like that tone. Didn't realize how warmly Obi-Wan spoke to him until the chill set in.

But it's not as if what he said was wrong, Anakin tells himself. And it's not as if Obi-Wan's been fair to him either, using Anakin like that.

And--and sure, maybe when they first started...whatever this is--was--maybe Anakin had wanted to use Kenobi too. After all, he'd been eighteen and charged with guarding some rich senator at an event just like this one. And Padmé Amidala had been there, and Anakin had been so desperate for her attention that he'd thought--maybe if he could make her jealous by talking with Kenobi--

And talking had turned into kissing had turned into bedding, but it hadn't been about Kenobi, not really, not that first time. It'd been about Padmé and how much Anakin had wanted her to notice him, see him for the man he'd become.

And he's sure that Kenobi had bedded him with ulterior motives too--not to make Qui-Gon jealous, of course, which is a thought that Anakin doesn't even like to think about, honestly--but to make Qui-Gon upset. Master Jinn didn't like the slimmest reminders of his old apprentice. To find out that his old apprentice had bedded his new one...no, Master Jinn did not, in fact, appreciate that.

So they'd both had ulterior motives the first time they slept together, and they'd probably had them for a while after too. It was an arrangement. A casual affair.

Before Anakin had gone and developed feelings for Kenobi, of course.

And now it's not fair. None of it's fair, because Anakin's in love with him and Kenobi's still just sleeping with him for the sake of some bruised pride he's been nursing for twenty years and now Anakin's gone and hurt him, genuinely hurt him, and he doesn't feel the way the Chancellor had told him he'd feel when he told the prince where to shove it. He just feels awful, like he'd been hurt too.

"I apologize for wasting your time, Padawan Skywalker," Kenobi is saying when Anakin tunes back into his voice. His face is hidden behind a cool mask of untouchable indifference. His arm is still crossed in defense over his chest. "I was mistaken in the understanding we had between each other, and I have thus overstepped erroneously."

It's not fair, Anakin thinks wildly as Obi-Wan steps away from him like he's going to move out of the alcove altogether. It's not fair that Obi-Wan's apparently so good at the diplomatic script of the Jedi that he can fall back on it at any moment, even after all of these years, and it's Anakin who can apparently only ever use his words to hurt.

So Anakin doesn't use his words. It's instinct, probably the first one he ever learned, to reach out in the Force instead. Nudge their Force signatures closer together and drop his shields so he can feel--truly feel--the heat of Obi-Wan's presence in the Force entangled around his own.

It's easier after that to reach out his hand and catch Kenobi's wrist. Then it's easier than anything else to use that hold to push him up against the wall and bracket him in with his body to keep him there.

Kenobi doesn't fight against his touch, but he doesn't bloom under it either, the way Anakin's gotten used to him doing. He doesn't even look at him, keeps his eyes on the neck of Anakin's Jedi robes.

"No, I'm sorry," Anakin murmurs, squeezing Obi-Wan's captured wrist. "I didn't--I didn't mean that. Not at all."

"If you didn't mean it at all, you wouldn't have said it," Obi-Wan points out, which is...well, correct, technically, but Anakin doesn't like to hear it.

"I was just...someone told me that," Anakin admits. "And I--I mean, I know you and I know--what we have. And what it is. And I'm fine with that, I understand it. I just let it get to me, that maybe you only like me cause you're still out for revenge against my master. But, um."

Obi-Wan is looking at him now, something soft and quizzical and confused coloring his gaze.

"I thought I couldn't stand being nothing but revenge to you," Anakin makes himself say, even though his breath feels caught in his throat. Danger, danger. He is skirting too close to the truth. He is saying too much. But if he doesn't say anything, what then? "But that's not so bad, I guess. It's better than being nothing to you at all."

Which is a lesson that Anakin has just learned and is eager to never experience again. Even if it makes him pathetic and weak and spineless and some prince's playtoy, or whatever else the Chancellor had implied. He'd like to see the Chancellor stand up to Obi-Wan's dignified yet wounded eyes.

"Darling," Obi-Wan says, and for a moment his hand cups Anakin's face. It's just long enough of a touch that Anakin can't help but to lean into it with an exhale. "You've never been nothing to me."

Anakin gives into the urge to kiss him. It's a miracle that Obi-Wan lets him.

It's also nowhere near enough; Anakin is a greedy sort of man. He doesn't want nothing or a little more than nothing from Obi-Wan. He wants everything.

[nocreativityfornames]

Everything we know about Michael so far, lore wise.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR ALL SEASONS

➤ He's an high-ranking angel from the Celestial Realm, more specifically a Seraph. (nb: 18-2 and nb card: Luke - "I can do it too!")

➤ His love for sweets is the reason Luke took interest in baking. (swd: 5-12 and 23-5)

➤ He and Lucifer were equals in the Celestial Realm and no other angel shared the same status as them. Simeon referred to them back then as "the two great leaders of the Celestial Realm's legion of angels." (swd: 23-7) But currently Michael carries that position alone. (swd: 23-5)

➤ He was supposed to meet MC when they visited the Celestial Realm with Solomon but couldn't because a secret spring suddenly started drying and Michael had to go there to investigate the situation. (swd: 23-7)

➤ He used to be Mammon's mentor and tried his best to train the white-haired brother while in charge of him but wasn't able to figure out how to handle him and eventually went to Lucifer asking for help. And since Lucifer was somehow able to get Mammon to listen to him, he ended up taking over Michael's role and became his mentor instead. (swd: 27-19)

➤ He was originally the one in possession of the Ring of Wisdom but gave the ring to Solomon at a time when the human was feeling "lost" and Michael wanted to help him. (swd: 29-5)

➤ During MC's 2° stay in the Devildom when Diavolo was keeping secret from everyone that their powers had become a threat to the three realms, Michael sent the prince a message through Simeon, warning him that if whatever he was keeping a secret affected the Celestial Realm, angels wouldn't hesitate to intervene. (swd: 31-16 Hard Mode)

➤ He's the one who found the Ring of Light, counterpart to the Ring of Wisdom that Lucifer had lost during the Great Celestial War (swd: 37-9), and quickly noticed it was missing when Simeon stole it to give it to MC ( since it was the only other way to control their powers ), shooting the other angel a text stating that they needed to have a "good, long talk" and that he wanted to see him as soon as possible. (swd chat: M, "untitled")

➤ When MC was given the Ring of Light and fell unconscious because of it, Michael appeared to speak with them. And during their talk, the seraph told MC that he had pictured them to be truly wicked person due to being so well-liked by the brothers, but that he had been proven wrong after meeting them. (swd: 38-17)

➤ In that same conversation, Michael confessed to being jealous of MC. He told them: "I must admit that I'm jealous of you, MC. I wish I could have been more like you. Because I loved Lucifer and his brothers, and I lost them. Perhaps things could have been different..." (swd: 38-17)

➤ When asked, Satan explained to MC that Michael was the opposite of Lucifer appearance-wise but that they felt like twins at the same time. And when Mammon brought up Michael's adoration for Lucifer, Satan chimed in saying that in his opinion the reason Michael liked Lucifer so much was because he was the embodiment of everything he wanted to be but couldn't. (swd: 43-19)

➤ He would be the one having meetings with Diavolo when the prince took over the kingdom if he hadn't thrown the responsibility onto Lucifer in the last minute, making Michael in a way the stepping stone that led Lucifer to question his faith and start having doubts about God and the Celestial Realm in general. (swd: 44-15)

➤ When MC ended up in the past Celestial Realm through a dream Solomon sent them to accidentally by feeding them his food, Michael was the one to bring them back home. The angel told MC that they and the brothers would likely forget what happened in the dream but that it would still have an effect on all of them and he would keep an eye on them to make sure that said effect didn't have negative consequences in the future. (swd: 44-18)

➤ Luke told MC that he often found Michael in the hall where the brothers' portraits used to hang staring at the empty space, lost in thought. According to the small angel, Michael to this day still deeply misses the brothers and has regrets about the war. (swd: 49-15)

➤ He was the one to cast out the brothers from the Celestial Realm and send them to the Devildom. (swd: 50-7)

➤ According to Mammon, Michael and Simeon must've pulled some strings behind the scenes to get Luke to participate in the exchange program and be able to visit the Human World with Simeon because, with his low ranking, he'd never be the one chosen for those sorts of things and the Avatar of Greed is convinced that they're doing this because they want Luke to experience life outside the Celestial Realm, see that there's more out there than heaven, and stop thinking that angels are perfect beings who can do no wrong. (swd: 50-10)

➤ He's knowledgeable on constellations and likes them so much he had Raphael rebuilt a whole room so Human World constellations could be seen even from the Celestial Realm. (swd: 52-7) He also taught Mammon about them when he was still in his care, and later on taught Luke as well. (swd: 50-12)

➤ It was actually he who went into the Devildom and told the brothers that they had been forgiven by God and had to choose between staying in the demonic kingdom ( and making an enemy out of heaven ) or coming back to the Celestial Realm and leaving Satan behind. And in a conversation with Raphael, Michael said the reason for his disguise was that he was worried about what could happen if he showed up as himself. But Raphael quickly rebutted that by saying that the true reason Michael didn't go as himself was because he wouldn't know how to act around the brothers. (nb: 20-14 Hard Mode)

➤ Still disguised as Raphael before going back to the Celestial Realm, Michael told Luke that he wasn't surprised that the brothers didn't accept his offer to go back to heaven and actually knew that would be the outcome of it. He was also surprised not too long after when Luke, not knowing it wasn't Raphael who he was talking to, pointed out that Michael seemed sad and lonely whenever he was staring at the wall where the brothers' portraits used to be. Michael's exact response to the younger angel's words was: "...I didn't realize that's what people thought.” (nb: 20-A)

➤ When asked by Raphael if he planned to attend RAD in the future, Michael avoided giving an direct answer and left. (nb: 20-14 Hard Mode)

[styllwaters]

Figured it was time to stop putting it off so here's Kota (his new design, for veterans who remember him). I don't yap about my ocs nearly enough on here so I guess its time to change that

Very basic summary: This guy is a posthuman, the only surviving remnants of humanity in Vivere 44 (I'll make a big updated post for them later). When Earth was destroyed by Genizix the surviving humans were captured and used as test subjects for a digitised consciousness project. They managed to escape in ships, though their physical bodies were no more. Eventually they came across a wormhole and emerged into the Zhagaviit galaxy, where they were given refuge on the Arrow homeplanet of Hanidias.

(Longer backstory under the cut for textwall enjoyers)

EARTH

Kota was a highly successful and well-known astronaut working for Nasa back when earth was still intact. He was driven, determined, a good speaker, and more than prepared to take on any challenge. In his younger years he was a little impulsive and reckless, he liked putting on a show. He strived for the best at all times, and was known for great feats on Earth. He had grown used to the idea of being seen as a prodigy and had high hopes for his future and the future of his daughter. 

Kota pushes himself to the brink at all times, and is not known as someone who gives up easily. During the Genizix-Earth wars, he put himself at the forefront - doing the best he could with others to figure out what to do as Earth was bombarded by the weapons corporation. Though as time went on it became increasingly obvious that Genizix was toying with them and they were doomed from the start. Genizix used the survivors as test subjects for their new project which involved putting consciousnesses into digitized forms, creating the first beta-posthumans.

CAPTURE AND ESCAPE

When Genizix finally reduced Earth to floating space debris humanity was dead meat. Kota and his daughter Elise, who was a computer engineer, sought a way to escape their captors. Together with many other great minds they studied Genizix for months and managed to find a way out of the mothership they were confined to. In the ensuing chaos they lost many, including Elise.

The posthuman survivors escaped in Genizix ships, piloting them through space and trying to get as far as possible from their captors. The loss of Elise broke Kota, who felt responsible for it. This guilt would only grow and intensify as he led the exodus, unsure of where they were even headed. As the de facto 'leader' of the posthuman rebellion he was looked up to and turned into a figurehead of sorts, who shepherded them across the vast nothingness. This responsibility weighed on him like a mountain.

EXODUS

It was a lonely and painful existence, made worse by the fact that many people’s minds couldn’t handle their new digital forms. This is when Entropy began. Biological matter cannot easily be computerised. Many individuals entered what would be termed an Entropic state and ‘malfunctioned’ - they began to mentally deteriorate until there was nothing left of their mind except for snippets; repetition of voice, automatic status notifications placed by Genizix, and ultimately all functions shutting down.

Eventually the deterioration would get to a point where there was nothing but radio silence and the spacecraft would cease to move, lights permanently flickering out. There was nothing that could be done, even as they kept sending distress signals with no response. They were lightyears away from any other civilization that could possibly help them. For a while they were free floating with no direction, dropping off one by one, in the endless vacuum of space. All they could do to keep each other sane was to keep talking to one another.

CONTACT

They traveled for years until they came across a wormhole, and under Kota’s command they entered it with the hope that on the other side there would be salvation. It was an extremely risky and desperate move, but at this point they were willing to try anything. The fleet, which by now was less than half its original population, emerged on the other side into the Zhagaviit galaxy before the wormhole collapsed, alive but with damaged machinery. The first species that made contact with them were the Arrows, and like the other Zhagaviit sophonts they were a civilization recovering from their own war with Genizix.

First Light, an Arrow who was modified by Genizix as a weapon, saved Kota in more ways than one. It took a long time for him to warm up to the Arrows, having the worst possible experience with extraterrestrial first contact. He was guarded, distrustful, and hypervigilant. It took multiple days for him to work up the courage to leave his ship and transfer his consciousness to another medium - the blue c-particles which would house human consciousness from that point on. After gentle coaxing from Light, he began to open up. They shared their experiences, and bonded over them. Seeing Light, who was just as damaged as he was despite their differences - yet still able to smile, and laugh, and hope for a better future, gave him the encouragement to keep going. Kota distracted himself with work, figuring out accommodations for humanity on Hanidias and learning about Arrows. Eventually he and First Light joined the Beacon as ambassadors and diplomats for the Zhagaviit Galactic Community.

[zepskies]

Podcast Interview With Idling in the Impala: "Y/N and Let Y/N…"

Here we go! Sandra and Kasey, the lovely hosts of @idlingintheimpalapodcast — the podcast for all things SPN and fanfiction — invited me on the pod for an interview…

We chatted about Dean Winchester and Jensen Ackles’ early roles, the best and worst seasons of SPN, the joys and pains of writing Soldier Boy, and much, much more.

That’s right, there be some hot takes coming in this convo, and I had an absolute blast with these two! (And like I said in Sunday's announcement, I’m also putting my name and my voice out there for the first time! 😆)

So if any of that sounds interesting, feel free to dive in!

(**Important Note: Just to preface, we recorded this back in June, so it was before I posted certain stories or even started developing Lost on You. It was also when Tumblr activity/engagement was going through a spring/summer slowdown lol.

Links to all the fics and podfics we mentioned are at the end of this post.)

Have a listen: ⤵️

Interview Timestamps –

(Plus fic recs, SPN writer shoutouts, and more!)

1:44 – Who’s your guy: Sam or Dean?

3:35 – Getting into Supernatural for the first time (and seeing “Deanisms” in Jensen’s early roles).

10:15 – We debate the best and worst seasons of SPN: talking Mary Winchester, the British MOL, MOC Dean vs. Demon Dean, Chuck/God villainy, “jump the shark” moments, and that ending.

30:29 – Favorite SPN characters besides Sam and Dean.

32:34 – Writing fanfiction, joining Tumblr, and writing reader inserts vs. OCs.

38:05 – To “Y/N” or not “Y/N,” and the power of 2nd person. (**Disclaimer: Despite my hot take on this, I’ve loved a lot of stories by authors who use Y/N in reader insert stories.

Also, if I’m remembering the book You and its characters incorrectly forgive me, it’s been like 5 years since I read it lol.) 

51:00 – Favorite fanfic tropes in romance, the joys and challenges of writing Soldier Boy (AKA: the Original Asshole), and attempting to humanize Ben in Break Me Down.

Shoutout to @deans-spinster-witch always for giving me the inspiration to write BMD. 💚

Why We Love The Boys – A review of Supes Ain’t Always Heroes

1:07:57 – Engaging with readers, tips on increasing engagement, optimizing your Tumblr blog, writing schedules and processes, and incorporating reader feedback into stories.

1:26:38 – Sandra graciously narrated Midnight Espresso (Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader). We chat about what sparked the idea for the ME-verse, self-representation in fanfic, feeding Dean, loving Dean, and writing about culture and ethnicity in the fandom space.

1:38:26 – Chatting about the inspirations behind Smoke Eater, a firefighter!Dean AU; law enforcement procedurals, House MD, and researching for stories.

1:44:30 – Which Jackles character is the easiest or most fun to write?

1:47:39 – The challenges of writing Sam vs. Dean.

1:53:15 – Shoutouts! To some of my favorite SPN authors. I could only remember a few people off the top of my head (stupid me), but I love all of you!!

@waynes-multiverse @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @luci-in-trenchcoats @rizlowwritessortof @waywardxwords

@deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @deanwritings @spnbabe67 @thatonewriter15

@justagirlinafandomworld @kaleldobrev @artyandink @princessmisery666 @wayward-dreamer (– and many more.)

2:00:40 – How I came up with my username.

2:05:04 – Kasey’s Secret Question…

2:07:38 – Advice to fanfic writers and creatives for inspiration and/or wisdom.

2:16:35 – Sandra and Kasey’s lovely outro: self-representation in fandom, escapism, diverse voices, and more. (“Reach out a hand. Touch somebody. …Not like that.”)

📖 Fics Mentioned:

Sandra: @talltalesandbedtimestories -

Some Sunny Day Series – Dean Winchester x OFC - (I'm in the process of reading this entire series and it's been a joy to read! 💜)

Past Due – Dean Winchester x Reader

The Iceman Cometh – Dean Winchester x Reader

Cowboy Canter (Original Fiction) – Inspired by cowboyish Dean/Jensen.

Kasey: @sam-is-my-safe-word -

English Cottage-verse – Sam Winchester x Reader (I've read it and it's fantastic! 💜)

(K)not for sale – Soldier Boy x Dean Winchester

Alex (Zep/Me) -

Break Me Down – Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Midnight Espresso (& the Series Masterlist) – Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader

Dream With Me – Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader

Smoke Eater – Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Every Second Counts – Russell Shaw x F. Reader

🎙️ Stories/Podfics Sandra has narrated for me:

Podfic Playlist

And please remember to check out all the other awesome interviews, narrated podfics, and fun topics covered by Sandra and Kasey on the Idling in the Impala Podcast!

[lonestarflight]

Proposal: Dyna-Soar/Little Joe II Suborbital Flight Test Program

Artist concept of Little Joe II/Dyna-Soar concept. (Convair)

"The X-20 Dyna-Soar program is often remembered as one of the biggest lost opportunities in the history of manned space flight. Evolving from the WS-464L Program, Dyna-Soar had great potential for use as a military space platform as well as civilian science laboratory. Unlike the earlier Mercury, Gemini and Apollo capsules that were single-use vehicles returning to earth under a parachute system, the X-20 was a winged vehicle, capable of landing on select runways, then refur- bished and utilized again.

Initial flight testing of the Dyna-Soar had the vehicle dropped from a modified B-52C, 53-0399, carrier aircraft to test atmospheric handling qualities and landing techniques. The USAF selected Ed wards AFB, CA, and White Sands Missile Range, NM, due to their natural runway surfaces. (AFTC History Office)

The initial phase of the X-20 flight test program had the vehicle dropped from high altitudes from a B-52C mothership to test atmospheric aerodynamic handing of the vehicle, as well as develop landing techniques at Edwards AFB, CA. The second phase of testing involved sending the X-20 on unmanned and manned orbital spaceflight test mis- sions powered by a Titan III rocket booster which left a large gap in the standard progression of flight testing. The Convair Division of General Dynam- ics proposed making suborbital test flights using a Little Joe II booster.

The Little Joe II was a clustered, solid-propellant rocket booster designed as unguided and controllable versions. The vehicle could accommodate one to seven, 40-inch diameter, 100,000-lb thrust, Aerojet Algol 1D solid rocket mo- tors. With minor modifications the im proved launch vehicle (IPLV) could ac commodate the more advanced 44-inch diameter Algol IIA motors.

Little Joe II had the reputation as a reliable work- horse of the early manned space program, testing Mercury and Apollo escape and recovery systems from various launch locations. The Little Joe II booster was a versatile rocket with capabilities not found on many systems of the day and could be adapted and configured for several different flight profiles.

This detailed dimensional drawing shows some of the modifications required for the Little Joe il booster in order to carry the Dyna-Soar test vehicle. In addition to the upper adapter fairing, the booster required larger aerodynamic stabilizing fins to compensate for the larger payload. (Convair)

Convair proposed making test flights of the Dyna- Soar/Little Joe II combination on an overland range between Edwards AFB, CA and the White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico. Launching from Edwards AFB provided a lakebed in case of an aborted launch . and emergency landing. Range instrumentation was already in place at both sites, keeping the range support cost to a minimum.

Two different versions of the modified Little Joe II booster

The Dyna-Soar test vehicle would be mounted atop the Little Joe II booster with a two-part transition fairing, gloved over the X-20 to minimize drag and would be jettisoned prior to separation. This variation of the Little Joe II booster required movable aerodynamic fins, larger than those used on standard Little Joe II launches.

A Boeing/USAF X-20 Dyan-Soar is boosted skyward for a suborbital test flight from Edwards AFB, CA towards White Sands Missile Range, NM, aboard a Convair Little Joe II. The larger stabilizing fins and aerodynamic fair- ing around the Dyna-Soar are noteworthy. (Convair)

Utilizing a standard Little Joe II booster, the X-20 could be propelled to a maximum speed of 10,000 fps (approximately 6,800 mph) at an altitude near 170,000 feet. With the improved Little Joe II launch vehi- cle, those figures would rise to a speed of 15,000 fps (approximately 10,200 mph) and an altitude near 200,000 feet. The entire flight covered approximately 582 nautical miles, with the booster impacting the desert floor just over halfway through the flight. The Dyna-Soar test vehicle would experience considerable aerodynamic heating during the reentry phase with the final landing on the alkali flats of the White Sands Missile Range.

The Dyna-Soar suborbital program required a minimum of five test flights: two unmanned flights utilizing the existing automatic guidance, and three manned flights. Convair projected the total price of the five-flight test program at $12.2 million, considerably less than the projected $18 million per flight for a Titan III booster (figures are in FY 1965 dollars)."

AFMC History & Museums Program HQ AFMC/HO 4225 Logistics Ave, RM S133-Wright-Patterson AFB 45433-5006-DSN: 713-1797

source

NASA ID: 63-Little Joe II-3

SDASM Archives: 86914210, 47209426

[srbachchan]

DAY 5990

Jalsa, Mumbai July 12/July 13, 2024 Fri/Sat 3:44 am

🪔 ,

July 13 .. birthday greetings to Ef Manoj Kumar Ojha .. Ef Taran Ghantasala .. and Ef Kalpesh N. Gohel from Oman 🇴🇲 .. 🙏🏻❤️🚩

Yes .. the desire and the will to connect even at this unearthly hour - to some - to many it is time for work ... but for me I need to utilise the time for the Ef connect ..

Back from a glorious wedding and the feel after a very long time of public exposure, the wealth of love and affection that I can possibly think of with so many old acquaintances .. they seemed to have changed in their physiognomy, but extremely sincere in their affection towards the association and the love of our times well spent together ..

This is what life is all about .. the associations and love and care ..

It is strange how the little things that matter to each other , remain, but those that had a deeper association or a meaningful spent time, is lost and forgotten .. well not really forgotten , but kept on the back burner, and remembered or brought out only when there is required meaning of the association ..

So , I met a family who had had an association with some longitude, but what remains with them is that when they came to be a part of the audience in KBC , I happened to pick up a piece of dirt that was on the floor of the set , and not beckoned an assistant or the floor manager to do it ..

BUT .. I mean .. what is so great in that .. you see something which needs to cleaned, you pick it up rather than gear up an entire work force of the establishment to clean it up .

Ugguff ! it nothing .. but such a fuss made of it ..

It is not being humble of setting example .. it's just an act of extreme normality .. and the hullabalooo is deafening ..

And the director saying it was one hellava thing that I asked him permission to go to the washroom during the shoot ..

Yes I do need to take permission .. it is his set, his time , he is the Captain, I am the servant that has been employed, if I need to go for nature's call , I must seek his permission .. !!!

He may have designed a shot that needed to be taken 'pronto' .. he may have needed me to stand in for the lighting to be done .. he may have wanted me to rehearse the shot with my colleagues or just me ..

A lot of things happen when the Captain is in charge .. so I need to take his permission to leave the set .. it was he that called me to the set, when it was ready for the shot, it was he that wanted me to work in his film, I have to obey his word and dictat .. and I did just that .. so what is all the fuss about ..

MERELY FILLING IN PRINTED SPACE !!!! No its the paucity in life that is compelling ..

The impotency of content ..

Good night - good morning .. at 4:23 am

Amitabh Bachchan

[arsonsara]

[The phone rings four times, and just before it can ring for a fifth, the phone is answered.] "Hellosie posies, you've reached the home of one Arso-" "...ahem." "This is Vivian speaking, can I help you?" [Silence.] "...H-hello?…" [Silence.] "...O-oh...oh my stars. Is...is that you? Goodness gracious, it has to be! I mean I don't remember anyone else who wasn't as...talkative. And nobody ever really called me like this except…" "You..." "Hahah...oh god, how long has it been since we last talked? Years now? It feels like only yesterday I got that call from you and just...let my gourd pop open! Hehe! I had a lot on my mind back then. To be honest I uh...still do." "Things are...better than they were. At least in a lot of the places that count but, the world keeps spinnin' y'know! It's enough to make you dizzy sometimes, hehe! And sometimes I get...pretty dizzy." "...I'm really glad you called. I've been really dizzy lately, a lot of memories are coming back to me that are a bit...rough to organize. Like a jigsaw puzzle and the pieces just sorta...change shape every-time you try to place a piece. Heck I don't know what i'm even building at this point! I don't think any of us are! Hahaha! Ahahaha!…" "But...i'm worried. About...someone I care about. They're a friend of mine that means a lot to me and...from what I could gather she's not doing as great as I thought she was. I mean i've...never met her. Is it weird to consider someone a friend if you've never met? I mean one of her friends has been trying to talk to me lately...does that count?" [Silence.] "...Are you here to lend an ear, stranger? That friend of a friend i'm referring to he's...talking about stuff like that lately. Lending an ear. Are you trying to do the same for me again?…" "...Thank you…" "...I guess I should...just get started."

On July 3rd, 2023, posted exactly at 5:44 PM Eastern Standard time, I wrote my personal review of my thoughts regarding the Anti-Fiction ARG Story Project, Welcome Home. I don't quite remember specifically when I came across the Welcome Home Website, but it was during its earliest incarnation, and I've been around since its inception on the internet. And ever since, it has captivated me and only continues to grow and reach towards loftier, dreamier heights and crawl into darker, isolating caverns. I don't wear my fandom seniority as a badge of pride, but can't help but fawn over it the same way someone does a hand-made gift. That's what Welcome Home is to me, in a lot of ways: A gift. It's a beautiful and haunting story, a complex and enrapturing puzzle, and a stunning, awe-inspiring work of art and despite how small the present box it came in was it just keeps getting bigger. There is a lot I could say about Welcome Home now that we're further into its story. When I wrote my review of it back in 2023 it was practically just getting started, and there are a lot of discussions I could have regarding all we've seen from the two Halloween Updates and the absolutely insane knockout that was The Homewarming Update… But i'm not here to talk about that. At least not now, because I want to zoom in on not just a particular update, but a particular character within Welcome Home's cast. The one that caught my attention the most, stole my heart, and as of the recent update, spoke more to me than anyone else on the cast. And I can't think of a better way to start than here:

For context, I always love playing into a scene or story even if it's just in small ways. When I wrote this signature in the Guestbook I thought it'd be fun to play in the space of Welcome Home being a real piece of lost media, whilst also sharing my love for the character that made my heart flutter like a butterfly and couldn't help but make me giggle. At this point in time, when I wrote that message, we didn't know a lot about Julie Joyful. We didn't have as much media surrounding Welcome Home aside from the biography pages that gave us descriptions for everyone in the cast. We didn't even have proper voices for the characters yet! And somehow Julie Joyful was the one out of everyone in the cast where I picker her out from the crowd and said: She was my favorite. Not just that she was my favorite, but that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, without even a smidgen of hesitation: If Welcome Home was in fact a real show that I grew up with as a child, that Julie Joyful would be the one I loved the most out of everyone. And as days turned to weeks, weeks to months, months to a year, year to years, and as Welcome Home has grown and flourished we've only come to learn more and more about this delightful as a daffodil Rainbow Monster. Can you tell that she's even rubbed off on me? This most recent update, April 12th's 2025 Springtime Salutations update, gave us a lot to learn about Julie Joyful. Not only did we see her at her brightest, her peppiest, her singingest, her skip-hop-and-jumpiest...but we also saw her at her darkest. Julie has quickly become one of my favorite characters in media ever. The more we saw of her the more my heart was captivated, and now that we've reached such a primal boiling point for her character, I felt like now was the time for me to give her the proper celebration she deserved. Like a hand-written letter in a pink envelope, covered with stickers, full to bursting with confetti and game pieces and little knick-knacks and doo-dads...and in the card i've written a deeply earnest and sympathetic thank you. Because out of a lot of the characters i've grown attached to, there are few like Julie who equally embody the person I want to be, remind me of the person I am, and make me feel truly seen. I think that's enough pre-amble ramblin'. Let's get started, shall we?

---

One of the big things that captivated me about Julie Joyful, once more updates began to roll on and we got to see more of the scamperingly sweet Rainbow Monster in action was just how utterly, reverently silly she was. She speaks in such a squeaky, chipper, bouncy lilting voice and is constantly talking a mile a minute, throwing out mounds for pounds of alliteration, spoonerisms, rhymes and a gargantuan greenhouse worth of flower names and funny games. Out of everyone in the cast, she's the one who is the most childlike in demeanor, and it seems no matter the reason or the season she finds some way to make a simple occasion into an all out affair! At least, when it comes to her appearance on screen. Within Welcome Home, there is something of a divide between the cast: How they appear in media made for the Welcome Home TV Show, through merchandise and other second-hand findings, and how they appear when the cameras are "off" so to speak. Throughout the website's history there have been hidden videos and audio logs where we seemingly see the neighbors of Home interacting with each-other on a far more casual, day to day basis. Almost as if the world of Welcome Home is real, that that little clearing in the forest with cutesy houses surrounded by a phantasmagorical cornucopia of brightly colored trees is somewhere out in our real world, and the merchandise surrounding the show is only a representation of the real thing. Almost like learning about someone through a game of telephone. Welcome Home has already played with a lot of themes regarding the restrictions of television for the time period of when Welcome Home supposedly aired, and art created for the sake of a corporate end-goal. Think about it, all of the things we learn about Welcome Home aren't from the show itself, we as an audience have never even seen an episode, let alone a clip or screenshot from the actual puppet show.

All of it is secondhand merchandise or advertisements, at least with regards to the physical remnants we have of the Welcome Home TV Show. And as the story continues, we keep seeing characters drift away from their television personas and show us more of who they really are, and the more that time passes things start to weigh on their minds more and more, become heavier and heavier, and the seams at the edges of their existences, their realities, start to fray… But it started out very subtle, and gives us a lot to think about regarding how the cast actually feels about eachother outside of the "show". One of the differences from her Show Persona and how she truly interacted with the rest of the cast, didn't have anything to do with her character herself, but rather how another person reacted to her. In "The Show", Frank Frankly is constantly seen as a grumpy grump and a sourpuss when it comes to dealing with Julie's constant shenanigans. Crossing his arms, rolling his eyes, saying thinks like "Not again" and "Julie, we've talked about this." This isn't to say Frank's Show Persona dislikes Julie, even in spite of his apparent frustration with her allyoop antics, where Julie is Frank is never far behind and there's always something of a begrudging fondness for her. A very "Yup, this is my circus, and that is most certainly my monkey." kind of attitude.

Yet when the cameras are off, it's almost the complete opposite. In one of the hidden-videos from the first big update, we hear Frank bringing Julie to his freshly grown tomatoes so he can get advice on how to deal with the beetles that have been eating them. It's odd to think about isn't it, Frankly coming to Julie for advice? By this point we knew a little bit about Julie regarding her affinity for plants and flowers, but it's still a bit odd isn't it? And before we know it, Julie breaks out into her usual serendipitous self, with her absitovely posituley silly observations and suggestions, but instead of the usual exasperation we're used to from Frank Frankly, he reacts far more warmly. Even joining in on Julie's little games and bursting with laughter when she says his nose looks like a Banana! It feels like it's almost a completely different dynamic, the two sharing in a very small, sweet, domestic moment of silliness, and both of them feeling like true best friends. Not only that but in another one of these secret videos, we see Julie trying to convince Barnaby that she's capable of telling a good joke, only for the big blue dog to heckle her to no end! And for the first time we see Julie actually get frustrated at being belittled, trying her best to be seen as funny only for Barnaby to keep pulling at her leg and steaming her. We get to see a little more regarding Julie's thoughts on Barnaby in this most recent update, so we'll put a pin in it for later. For now, let's dig into the fertile discussion regarding Julie's siblings, Franny, Jonsie and Bea. The Springtime Salutations update gave us a LOT regarding Julie's family, lore about Rainbow Monsters, and us actually getting to see The Joyful Family interacting with other members of the cast, and their sister! While we don't know the precise age of anyone in the cast, it's safe to say just based off of interactions that Julie is the youngest of the Joyful's, as there's a certain level of fraternal responsibility the three have over Julie, or at least they behave as such. Afterall, the story is functionally about Julie going to her siblings for help, only for everyone to eventually realize Julie's made a mistake and accidentally having made a mountain out of a molehill. And during the family talk amongst each other in "A Darling Broadcast", the Joyfuls ask why it is that Julie hasn't joined their band, and that they want their "Dynamite Drummer." But...Julie doesn't play the drums. At least we've never seen that! She sings, talks and kisses the flowers and that's what makes them bloom, as we learn in the storybooklet "What Makes The Flowers Bloom." Not only that but in Julie's biography and implied elsewhere on the site, she moved out of her home with her siblings in the cave so she could move to the neighborhood of home! But...why? From what we know about Rainbow Monsters and their culture, they seem to all be cohesive family units! And when Julie is asked about when she'll join the band, she avoids the question by pretending that the connection is breaking and hangs up. And even afterwards, we hear Bea talk about how she hopes that one day Julie will join the band. But for as much as she seems to love her siblings, she doesn't seem to want to be in the band with them. Maybe their constant insistence on her joining the band, of her being a drummer was what made her move away? A feeling of being constrained by the views of her peers? Not only that but we don't get to hear any interaction with Julie and her family when the cameras are "off". As time goes on the line between the show, the world of the show, and our world continue to blend, but we haven't seen any interactions from the Joyfuls that would explain what exactly happened between them…

This next part is going to get into heavy spoiler territory regarding a lot of the secrets in this most recent update, so if you don't want to be spoiled, I recommend finding them on your own and coming back afterwards. But later we learn something very important: Julie is terrified of the idea of being a "bad" rainbow monster, and being unable to live up to the example of her siblings. Over the course of the secret videos in this update, we see Julie; who is sometimes accompanied by Frank, attempting to get a black tulip made of felt, with an odd looking eye in the center of its bud that looks similar to the Marlo Logo, Marlo being a corporation tied with the creation of Welcome Home. It seems that out of all the flowers in the neighborhood, Julie can't get this single flower to blossom, and what once starts as apprehension soon grows into outright terror at the idea of failure. She starts to fear whether or not this is "just the start", that she'll loose her ability to make plants grow and blossom and that Home will be full of nothing but wilting flowers and dead fields. She agonizes over the idea of if her siblings found out, that she can't let them find out, that nobody can know.

Now, up to this point we've seen another Welcome Home resident behave in a similar manner: Eddie Dear. In the Homewarming Update, we see him start to grow stressed over not being able to do his job of delivering presents for Homewarming to everyone in the neighborhood, cooped up in his post-office and growing frustrated that he can't do anything, even saying "Who’s ever heard of folks gettin’ recognition for nothin'? No one, that’s who!" Eventually, he goes outside to learn that the Neighbors have already done all the delivering for him, and that he doesn't need to do his job, he can simply enjoy the festivities!… But when he tries, he starts seeing things nobody else can. Things that feel like aren't meant to be seen. Things he doesn't want to see.

It seems that the "Roles" of the characters within Welcome Home almost act as an anchoring point for them. That if they aren't able to be who they are, they start to slip, they start to see things, and the world around them begins to twist and shift. Julie herself, the more stressed she gets, starts to speak differently. Her voice is lower, her tone is more quiet, reserved, far more human and less cartoony. Almost like she's becoming a completely different person. But unlike Eddie, whose anxieties seem to stem from recognition or the knowledge that he's doing a public service for the people he cares about, Julie's seem to come from a deep seeded fear of failure. Earlier in the videos we hear her talk about how sometimes she worries about what Barnaby and Howdy think of her, that she thinks she isn't funny, and she tries brushing it off as friendly ribbing, but the tone in her voice clearly lets us know that ribbing or not that it still hurts her sometimes. Not only that but we already have the expectations she feels she has from her siblings. Were these fears she imparted unto herself for feeling like the odd one out of her family, or was there some form of long-form confrontation within the Joyful family from a young age that left her feeling like she not only lived in their shadow, but needed to live up to their example. There are a lot of things we can speculate about Julie's relationship and feelings towards her family and her friends, but one thing is certain: Julie believes that she can't let anyone see her slip. They can't see her when she's unhappy, and they most certainly can never, ever, ever know that she did something wrong. It almost puts her kind of playtime into perspective: You don't need to worry about loosing if the rules to a game are so loosey goosey, or even if loosing is the fun part, as we see in the video where Eddie and Julie play pretend as corporate business workers. Hell, maybe Julie's exaggerated break down of Everything Inc. going "Out of Business" was foreshadowing for Julie's actual fears of failure. But the point is, it doesn't matter if you loose if the rules are made up to be nonsense and a winner can simply be picked at random, or if the purpose of the game is simply to have fun and have no proper goal. But once there are rules? There are stakes. And there's a punishment if you loose.

Now here's a question that seems to be floating around the fan communities of Welcome Home: Is Julie's pollyanna attitude genuine, or a front? When we see her break down in front of the Black Tulip, is this us finally seeing her true colors, mask off? I think the answer is more nuanced than a simple yes or no, but what I do believe is that Julie's demeanor comes from a genuine place. We've seen her behave all serendipitous and silly when "the cameras are off" and I don't think she's secretly a constant bundle of anxiety on the inside. I think her being so joyful is what she does to quell her anxiety. It is what makes her happy, it's what makes life worth living, but it is a coping mechanism and up until this point, a pretty effective one! Not only that, but Welcome Home is always constantly playing with our perception of where the boundaries lie between our world and that of Welcome Home's.

I'm not the only one to have come to this conclusion, but I believe when we hear Julie's voice break we're hearing what her original voice-actress sounded like when she was out-of-character, and potentially Julie's fears are mirroring that of the original actress. So, are we seeing Julie, or her actress? I think it's both. I think we're getting both an in-depth read on Julie's character and starting to see behind the curtain of what the production crew was dealing with, to a certain extent. To what extent, we don't know, but with how often Welcome Home blends the lines of reality, I think we're witnessing a co-existing truth and not something that contradicts itself. There is another thing I am absolutely certain of regarding Julie's reaction to the Black Tulip not blooming: This is a trauma response. Julie isn't just being traumatized in the moment from the Black Tulip not blooming, something had to have happened to her in the past to make her react in such a way.

It gets to the point that, for the first time in the series, we hear one of the characters swear! JULIE SAYS "SHIT!" And by the end of it all we start to hear her threatening the Black Tulip, saying that by Homewarming when Winter comes that they'll never be seen again, that nobody will know it's there! She's threatening the Black Tulip, and in the same breadth convincing herself that this is something she can bury and that no one will know of her shame... ...Say… Remember when Julie was the one who played the main character in Sally's rendition of The Telltale Heart? Almost like it was foreshadowing this very moment, and that Julie feels the same amount of guilt and shame over not being able to bloom a flower as much as the main-character in The Telltale Heart feels about killing another person? Safe to say, these emotions can't be coming from nowhere. Something happened to Julie Joyful. And if that isn't enough, the last secret page we find for the update is Frank, seemingly exploring the Forests of the Outskirts of Home, the sun is starting to set, and he's looking with a thousand yard stare at something we can't see. And the image's name is called "uhoh."

Remember in the Halloween Update, when Sally told the story of why you don't leave your home after dark? Did Julie stay in that forest, berating the Black Tulip until the sun came down, and Frank has found the aftermath? Or is this before the sun goes down, and Frank is seeing something else… Either way, from what we can tell, it can't be good. And I am dreading the next update. I hope above anything else that Julie will be okay. But at this point, it's hard to say. --- Julie has always been an important character to me, ever since Welcome Home started. I was recently transitioning, voice training, and when I finally got to see Julie in action proper, the first thought I had is that I wanted to be just like her. Exuberant, goofy, caring, silly, reverent, colorful, joyful, she was the embodiment of everything I so deeply, deeply wanted to be. And in this update, I wasn't just thinking about how much I wanted to be like her. Julie reminded me of myself. Of fears i've had, of struggles i've gone through, of the terror that grips your heart when you think you are on the verge of a failure you can't come back from, a failure that will make you worthless. I don't say this to garner sympathy, and whilst we all go through our own struggles, i'm happy to say that i'm in a better place than I was when Welcome Home came out, and that the future looks even brighter. But i've never had a character both embody the sort of person I wanted to be, and the sort of struggles that gripped my heart. In a weird way, it made me feel more like Julie than I ever did before, over something I never thought the two of us would share. There's a lot more I could talk about regarding Julie, and as deep as I go I feel like I am only ever going to scratch the surface. There's the discussion of the queer theming in Welcome Home regarding the Show seemingly forcing Julie and Frank into a relationship, and the potential romance between Frank Frankly and Eddie Dear. I could talk about what is essentially the "Beta" of Welcome Home before all of its details were canonized, where Julie looked far more wonky and had the name Julie B and the seperate story that tells. (which I personally believe is referenced when Jonesy calls her by the affectionate nickname of Julie Bean.) I could talk about how before we even met The Joyful Family, I made a Self-Insert OC of a Rainbow Monster named Vivi Vacilate, how she'd interact with the rest of her cast, wrote up her own theoretical "It's-For-You Talking Telephone" script and even what-if scenarios of how she'd be incorporated into the ARG itself, playing with themes of fan-creations for works like this and the strange nature of how things manifest through Welcome Home as a show, with there being a question of whether or not Vivi was an actual character or a fan-creation that somehow manifested itself alongside the show. I can talk about what I think the future holds for her character, for the story as a whole, and what it'll mean. And I more than likely will, in the future, whether between friends or in errant posts or maybe even another analysis like this. Only time will tell what form it takes, but there's one thing I do know for certain: I love Julie Joyful. Never has there been a character that has brought me such happiness into my life and made me feel so known. Never has there been a character that represents everything I want to be in life, how far i've come, and the lengths i've yet to go. I don't know how Welcome Home will end, whether it'll be happy, sad, scary, or all if it at once. But no matter what happens, Julie Joyful will always have a very, very special place in my heart. I commend Clown for planting this little seed, all of the artists and writers for giving it some good soil and watering it with their love, and to Cyberscraps for letting its voice bloom into something beautiful and inspiring. And i'll always cherish it. ...Oh, no wait, there is one second thing I know for certain. ...I really want that Julie Plushie... ---

"Thank you again for listening to me again, Stranger. I needed that more than I thought I did. Sometimes you have thoughts that just keep bubbling up inside you until it POPS like an overstuffed grape and just gets messy and all over the place but...now I feel better...at least a little…" "...I guess all there is left to do is wait. I mean i'm used to that now and i'm a patient girl but...it's...really all I can do right now, isn't it?" [Silence] "At least I can say I did all I could! I had some help of course, I don't know if I could'a done it all by my lonesome! So here's hoping that when things happen again that maybe...they'll be better?…" [Silence] "...Is it silly of me to think that way?…" [Silence] "...I guess so. But...maybe that's not all that bad. Stranger, I feel like it's my time to go, and i'm sure you have places to be but...can you do me a favor? If you can?" [Slience.] "...If you..."

"Happen to come across her…" "Can you let me know if she's okay?" "That I hope she's okay?" [Silence.] "...Well...it's worth a shot." "...Goodbye and uh...g-goodness what is that thing he says…" "...Don't forget to wave up high." [Vivian hangs up the phone.]

[dinafamilyy]

Read this message carefully

Imagine they are your family🩸

My name is Enayat, aged 44. I am a special education teacher and speech therapist for children. We used to live a dignified life.

My 48 year-old husband and I have six lovely children.

We had a home that brought us together with love, and our children grew up in a happy family meeting their needs as much as possible. However, on October 7, 2023, we were displaced from our home in southern Gaza due to shelling, shattering our dreams there.

• Here is a picture of my home before the bombing

husband suffered seven fractures in his leg, a serious injury that nearly led to amputation, prompting his transfer for treatment in Egypt.

My children's lives were disrupted, and our workplaces were bombed, with most schools and universities in Gaza destroyed. This has left my injured husband and me facing unemployment after the destruction of all life facilities in Gaza.

• We face a difficult life in atent

Currently, we live with relatives, 15 people in a small tent, in a very cramped space, going through a difficult and exhausting period.

I suffer greatly because my injured husband cannot support me in these difficult circumstances..

All my children miss their father and have taken on responsibilities at an early age.

• I suffer from cervical and back disc problems and need a medical bed and treatments that I have been unable to access due to the war.

I have lost many family members, including my dear sister, brother, and friend.

And my husband lost his job,he owned a poultry farm costing $10,000. We were displaced, leaving the chickens on the farm until they died of starvation.

There were beautiful little birds living in our home whom I fed with bread everywhere we fled, but they died due to malnutrition after 7 months of war.

The aid you provide will enable us to travel outside Gaza The cost per person for travel is $5,000 The total cost of our rescue and exit from Gaza is 30,000. rescue my husband, cover his medical expenses, and return to a life free from fear. We will assist our relatives and rebuild our destroyed home after the war ends, and help my children obtain their certificates from schools and universities to help them stand on their own feet.

I appeal to you to donate, even a small amount like $5 or more, to save us and help us overcome this ordeal we are going through.

I share with you the difficult humanitarian conditions we are experiencing, hoping you will help us emerge from it and start a dignified life anew.

help in any amount do you want but dont leave us alone

gofund.me/0c38cfcd

@fancysmudges @brokenbackmountain @anyonghalimaw @zigcarnivorous @aleciosun @fluoresensitivearchived @khizuo @schoolhater @timogsilangan @appsa @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka-blog-blog @tortiefrancis @feluka @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @visenyasdragon @belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @kordeliiius @brutaliakent @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamarrud @4ft10tvlandfangirl @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @skatezophrenic @awetistic-things @camgirlpanopticon @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @nabulsi @sygutka @junglejim4322 @heritageposts @chososhairbuns @palistani @dlxxv-vetted-donations @imjustheretotrytohelp @mnty-bubblegmyum

@wayneradiotv

@professor-glasses @acridid-s @asharestupid @sheplaysbassdotmp3

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Fic Masterpost

UPDATED: 19 March 2025 5:27 p.m.

(Organized by: Title, Chapters Posted, Chapters Written, And Progress/Completion)

11.3k km (7 chapters posted; 7 written; In progress) batfam

Almost There (3 chapters posted; 4 written; In progress) flashfam

Ango (Dwelling in Peace) (4 chapters posted; 4 written; In progress) arrowfam

An Oyster's Pearl (14 chapters posted; 14 written; In progress)

A Stone's Throw (2 chapters posted; 6 written; In progress) batfam

A Yellow Ribbon (12 chapters posted; 12 written; In progress) flashfam/superfam/yj98

blood on your altar (4 chapters posted; 5 written; In progress) arrowfam/titans/aquafam

Bloody Valentines (11 chapters posted; 11 written; In progress) batfam/titans/titans west/gl corps/flashfam/losh/new gods/shadowpact/superfam

Blue Ribbon Birdie (Oneshot; Completed) batfam

Bruised Figure (6 chapters posted; 6 written; In progress) batfam

Catch and Release (18 chapters posted; 18 written; In progress) batfam

Central City Lemonade Stand (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) flashfam

Daily Planet Classifieds (14 chapters posted; 14 written; In progress) superfam/yj 98/titans

Eyes and Ears (44 chapters posted; 44 written; In progress) batfam

Five Little Ducks (13 chapters posted; 13 written; Complete) batfam

Five Stages of Mamma Mia (20 chapters posted; 20 written; In progress) batfam

Frozen in Time (2 chapters posted; 2 written; In progress) jli/gl corps

Hair Trigger (25 chapters posted; 25 written; In progress) batfam

Harvest Moon (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) flashfam

Heels Over Head (1 chapter posted; 1 written; In progress) flashfam

Honor in Crisis (9 chapters posted; 9 written; In progress) batfam/titans/ntt/jli/gl corps/arrowfam

Human Cannery Co. (2 chapters posted; 2 written; In progress) yj98/superfam/flashfam

If There's Nothing Missing In My Life... (16 chapters posted; 16 written; In progress) superfam

In The Soup (10 chapters posted; 10 written; In progress) batfam/superfam

into the silent land (9 chapters posted; 9 written; In progress) batfam

It Takes A Village (13 chapters posted; 13 written; In progress) yj98/flashfam

Keepsafes (63 chapters posted; 72 written; In progress) batfam

Kitten Heel (7 chapters posted; 7 written; In progress) arrowfam/titans

Library of Ashes (6 chapters posted; 6 written; In progress) batfam

Lily of the Valley (32 chapters posted; 32 written; In progress) batfam

Lost Boys (16 chapters posted; 16 written; In progress) batfam/superfam/titans

Midnight Swan (5 chapters posted; 5 written; In progress) batfam

Moon Rocks (10 chapters posted; 10 written; In progress) batfam

Ocean View (10 chapters posted; 12 written; In progress) superfam/batfam

One in the Chamber (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) batfam

Oracle of Jersey (2 chapters posted; 2 written; In progress) bop/batfam

Phantom Grin (18 chapters posted; 18 written; In progress) batfam

robin's egg blue (2 chapters posted; 2 written; In progress) batfam

Sea Glass (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) batfam

silence of your song (2 chapters posted; 2 written; In progress) flashfam

Space Oddity (9 chapters posted; 9 written; In progress) titans (fab five)/aquafam

Sweet Honey Bee (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) flashfam

Tangerines (1 chapter posted; 1 written; In progress) batfam/yj98

The Brother Trap (16 chapters posted; 16 written; In progress) flashfam

The Flames That Burn The Brightest (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) titans/arrowfam

The Juice Box Jubilee (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) batfam/yj98/titans

The Kinker's Stowaway (1 chapter posted; 1 written; In progress) batfam

the mother i know (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress)

The Spin Out (14 chapters posted; 14 written; In progress) batfam

The Stowaway (1 chapter posted; 1 written; In progress) flashfam

Thicker Than Blood (0 chapters posted; 1 written; In progress) arrowfam

Titans Academy (8 chapters posted; 8 written; In progress) titans/arrowfam

To Touch Fate (26 chapters posted; 26 written; In progress) batfam/batman beyond

Traveler's Guide to Yesterday (1 chapter posted; 1 written; In progress) flashfam (rogue's gallery)

Where There's Smoke (1 chapter posted; 1 written; In progress) jsa/flashfam

Wild Eyes (3 chapters posted; 3 written; In progress) batfam/batfam (rogue's gallery)

Views From the Mountain (2 chapters posted; 2 written; In progress) flashfam/titans (fab five)

You're Just Like Quicksand (15 chapters posted; 15 written; In progress) batfam/batman beyond

[sirfrogsworth]

A few people took exception to calling my car's CD player useless.

I actually think it is great there are a few holdouts still using CDs.

CDs are truly one of the most perfect media ever created.

And I can prove that mathematically.

Some will say vinyl is superior. And as much as I love records, the audio quality is preferred, not better. People have a *preference* for how vinyl sounds, but it still leaves out audio information and has noise and artifacts caused by the mechanics of the turntable and an imperfect manufacturing process.

In fact, the lesser audio quality is exactly what people enjoy. It has a warmth and comfortably compressed dynamic range that is not fatiguing over long listening sessions. It's like choosing a nice fire over a 100% efficient space heater.

But if you want perfect audio quality that does not exceed the limits of human hearing, compact discs are where it's at.

It all has to do with Dr. Harry Nyquist and his Nyquist-Shannon Theorem. (Sometimes Shannon gets left out and it is just called the Nyquist Theorem.)

The simple version is he figured out how much something needs to be sampled in order to not lose any information. As long as you sample something at a frequency greater than or equal to twice per cycle, you will have a lossless... whatever.

In this case, a lossless audio recording.

So the range of human hearing is about 20 Hz to 20 kHz. That's the lowest and highest frequencies we can perceive. The scientists creating CD audio figured they'd do 22 kHz for some overhead and then you double that to get 44 kHz. (Technically it was 44.1 kHz.)

You can imagine the smooth curvy line as an analog recording. No gaps. No information loss.

The black squares are digital samples recorded over a period of time. You can see there are gaps between those black squares. A tiny bit of time passes between the squares where nothing is sampled. INFORMATION LOSS! NOOOOO!

Clearly the vinyl nerds are correct and digital is inferior, right? You are going to get the dreaded... STAIR STEPS!

Not so fast, bucko!

By getting enough samples over a period of time, you can use math to infer that smooth sloping line connecting those individual samples. So the digital recording also has no information lost once it is converted back to analog and played through your speakers.

This connecting of dots is called "interpolation."

You could take the curvy analog, convert it to digital, get the same black squares, and then interpolate the black squares back into analog and get the same curvy line. It goes back and forth perfectly. And this is all verifiable with an oscilloscope.

NEAT!

Then of course you need a good dynamic range--the spectrum of quiet to loud. Anything above 85 decibels will damage your hearing, so they went with a 16-bit depth which covers roughly 100 dB. Again, giving them a little overhead for death metal and overzealous trumpet players.

And the final component is data bandwidth or "bitrate" usually measured in kilobits per second. This is how much data is read every second. The 1s and 0s of it all. The bitrate of a CD is calculated by multiplying 44,100 samples per second per channel by 16 bits per sample and then multiplying by 2 channels. After all that mathing is math'd, you get a perfectly uncompressed 1,411 kbps.

So you've got all the frequencies you could ever hear combined with as much volume as your ears can stand with a bit rate that will give you no loss of data.

The *perfect* audio quality all encoded into little microscopic pits.

Now you may be asking, "Why do I see "24/96" or "24/192" advertised on fancy audio equipment and high quality streaming platforms like Tidal? Aren't 24 bits better? Isn't 96 kHz MORE than 44.1 kHz?"

Dr. Nyquist might say... this is some bullshit.

This confusion comes from the fact that recording quality and playback quality are two different animals. This misunderstanding happens with video and photo quality as well. Recording in 6K will give you a sharper picture even if your final playback quality is 4K. You can get bad pixels and noise and stray photons that do not contribute to the detail in the video. By giving yourself overhead you can ensure you hit the desired quality target.

And recording at 24 bits and 96 or 192 kHz, you get a higher resolution to edit and master with, but it is only advantageous to the computer software... not the human ear.

From a photographer's perspective, I relate to it like this...

If I have more megapixels and more colors and more dynamic range I have more leeway when editing my photos. If you try to push a low quality photo in the edit, it has this tendency to fall apart. You can get ugly color banding and harsh contrast and sharpening artifacts. By capturing more quality than you need in the finished product, you can process the photo much more dramatically before it deteriorates and loses integrity.

Audio and video are the same way.

So let's say you have a metal singer that screams at the microphone as loud as possible from 2 inches away.

At 16 bits they may surpass that 100 decibel dynamic range and distort the recording. But if you record in 24 bits, you get 144 dB to play with. Or you can even do 32 bits and get 1500 dB--a volume that no human voice could ever surpass. It guarantees a clean, distortion free recording, but 32 bits would be pointless for human listening.

The same is true with the sample rate. Having a higher resolution allows you to zoom into waveforms and adjust things to an extremely granular level. You can do precise timings, tiny pitch adjustments, apply loads of digital effects, and just have more room for audio activities without degrading the sound quality.

But outputting 192,000 of those black squares is going to interpolate the exact same smooth curvy line as 44,100 when it is played through speakers.

The oscilloscope knows what I'm talking about.

Now I am about to reveal a secret that no audiophile who has invested in a $115,000 high resolution 32 bit/3,072 kHz DAC wants to acknowledge...

The master recording is always more important than the playback quality.

If you have a high quality source it will sound great even in a highly compressed MP3. Just like the 6K video is sharper on the 4K TV. And the high megapixel photo looks better in an Instagram post.

If the source is good, the media will be good.

And since high resolution audio services often seek out the best masters available before encoding their playback files, it gives many people the illusion they are getting better sound quality due to the boosted specs.

When in reality, it was just a better copy of the original recording.

According to Nyquist, your human ears are not computers and all you need is double the frequency to hear perfect sound with no loss of information. So anything above 16 bit/44.1 kHz/1411 kbps and you are just wasting bandwidth on a server.

And I don't want to hear anything about "stair stepping."

IT'S MATH.

Your ears aren't better than math, okay?

If you don't believe in math, then you and Jack White can sit in the naughty math corner with his bespoke overpriced vinyl pressings.

I will say, there is a gap between your standard music streaming service like Spotify and your bullshit audiophile service like Tidal.

Free Spotify uses heavily compressed files. Which means the bitrate is quite low and there can be information loss. Or "lossy" compression. Modern compression is actually pretty amazing, but I'm afraid anything below 320 kbps may cause some songs to not sound as intended.

Depending on the content, some songs are more suited to compression than others. And even with premium Spotify, they cap songs at 320 kbps which still may not be enough for busier, harder-to-compress songs.

Also, I don't know if Spotify cares about getting the best quality master for a given song. Which, again, is the most important aspect of sound quality.

But services like Tidal waste bandwidth with their super specs and that isn't great for the environment. What I'd love to see is a company that makes their best effort to seek out high quality masters, and encodes their files at 16 bit/44 kHz with a lossless variable bit rate compression. Variable bit rate or "VBR" will do more compression during simpler parts of the audio and less compression during more complex parts. It's smart compression, basically. And as long as you use a high enough bitrate to achieve lossless compression, the sound quality will be the same as if there is no compression at all. So you still get smaller file sizes that use less bandwidth and have a smaller environmental impact.

That would be a streaming service I would consider paying for. Especially if they put great effort into getting high quality original recordings for their content.

In conclusion... if you are still using CDs you don't need to worry about audio quality. You're all set. There is a sort of beauty in what the audio scientists who created compact discs did. They figured out the limits of human audio perception and created a format that just slightly exceeded that. No "bigger number is better" marketing. No audiophile bullshit.

They said, "Here is what you need and nothing more."

They made a perfect thing and they should be proud of that.

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 44

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.6K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

The days stretched on into weeks and the absence of news about the conflict between the Night Court and Autumn Court gnawed at your stomach like a knot. You kept telling yourself that no news was better than bad news, but it did little to ease your worries. Trying to distract yourself, you threw yourself into community housing projects and outreach work. Living in the apartments now, you saw firsthand the changes that needed to be made - everything was too dull and lifeless. Despite hoping that residents would bring their own personal touches to make the place cozier, many of them had nothing more than the clothes on their backs. It was then that you decided to create a fund for hiring interior designers from Velaris' fashion districts to liven up the homes. However, many of them were hesitant to step foot into the lower end of the city, let alone work for its impoverished residents. But there were a few generous souls who gladly offered their time, resources, and expertise to help transform the complex. Plush carpeting, fresh paint, and cozy furniture slowly brought life back into the once dreary space.

Your days were now consumed with work, keeping busy whenever there was a moment of quiet. But despite your efforts, thoughts of Azriel lingered constantly. You wondered what he ate for dinner, if it was anything like the delicious chicken curry that one of the mothers had spent all afternoon preparing but didn't have enough ingredients to feed everyone. Did he reach for you in his sleep, searching for warmth and finding only cold sheets? Did he gaze at the moon and feel comfort knowing you were both living under the same night sky?

As promised, Rhysand came to the apartments three times a week, bearing trays of delectable desserts made by Elain and fabric swatches painstakingly chosen and sent by Nesta. Even though you often found yourself lost in thought, trying to discern the minute differences between the fabrics, Nesta still desperately sought your opinion on the nursery. It was an odd sight, seeing the High Lord of the Night Court seated in a too-small apartment, perched upon a rickety second-hand chair. The residents would bow down in reverence at his presence, but he would just give them a soft smile, urging them not to treat him as anything more than a visitor. You rolled your eyes at this statement, knowing all too well that those who saw him with such admiration would be shocked to see him lounging in an oversized chair in his library - feet propped up in pajamas while Nyx curled into his lap, both of their hair tousled from sleep. It was a familiar scene for you now. How had you become so intimately acquainted with the most powerful male in all of the Night Court?

Your conversations were solely focused on practical matters - discussions about the housing project, funding allocations, building permits and requests for aid. You often also worked on your shielding practice. But there was one question that lingered in your mind - if you were able to build up that barrier between you and your mate, could you return to the safety of the Townhouse, to Azriel? Although a part of you wanted to ask Rhysand for his plans regarding your future, you hesitated. You thought it better to live in the naivety that if you just worked hard enough on your shielding you might be able to go home instead of the more probably reality that even if you could keep everyone out, you wouldn’t be allowed back until everything had been resolved.

—

The bed was like a slab of concrete, the sheets coarse and rough against your skin as you lay on your side. The darkness of the room seemed to press in, with only the faint light from the streetlights outside casting long shadows of trees onto the ceiling. The branches swayed and scraped against the window, causing an eerie rhythm that matched the howling wind outside. You squinted at your clock, trying to make out the time. Was it nearing three in the morning? It felt like hours had passed since you crawled into bed, but sleep still eluded you. With a heavy sigh, you rolled onto your back, feeling the cool lace of your nightdress brush against your fingers. The blankets were suffocatingly warm, so you kicked them off, only to be met with a sharp chill from the drafty windows that refused to seal properly. Another thing to add to your never-ending list of things to fix within the apartments.

You slowly swung your legs over the edge of the bed, feeling the hard mattress beneath you as you sat up. Rubbing your tired eyes, you took a moment to adjust to the dimly lit room. With a sigh, you stood up and your toes touched the cold wood floor, sending a shiver through your body. Your back ached with exhaustion as you walked over to the desk on the other side of the room. Flicking on a small lamp, you pulled on the cozy wool cardigan that was draped over the chair, still warm from when you had thrown it there earlier in the day. The thick material hugged your body as you settled into the desk chair, surrounded by stacks of papers waiting to be sorted through. The desk was cluttered and much too small for all of your work, so instead of working there, you often spread everything out on the floor like a giant map. But tonight, it was too late for that, so you simply grabbed a fresh sheet of parchment and started writing a letter to a contractor who could potentially fix your broken windows.

As you wrote down a few words, a cool breeze brushed against your ankle, causing you to look down in surprise. But there was nothing there. You shook your head, pushing away any creeping feelings of loneliness or sadness. Brushing a strand of hair out of your face, you continued writing. Suddenly, another chill ran up your leg and you couldn't ignore it any longer. Pushing away from the desk, you got down on your hands and knees to investigate.

In the corner of the room, two shadows darted up the wall and disappeared into darkness. You let out a light laugh and whispered out into the empty space, "Hello." Your voice caused ripples in the darkness and for a brief moment, it seemed like something was stirring.

"It's okay," you whispered again, beckoning them closer. "Come down!"

One of the shadows hesitantly crept out from the darkness, moving along the top of the wall like a cautious cat. "Don't be shy," you encouraged with a soft laugh.

The shadow paused for a moment, its edges rippling and shifting in thought. Slowly, it started to make its way down the wall, eventually morphing into a thin line before dissolving into a pile on the floor. "Come on," you whispered, crouching down and reaching out your hand.

The other shadow, slightly smaller than the first, followed suit and slithered down the wall towards you. It stayed close to the floor, wrapping around your ankles as it cautiously approached. As it touched your fingertips, you could feel the coldness of its touch enveloping your hand in a grey fog. But as it recognized your touch, it seemed to gain confidence and began moving more quickly up your arm.

You couldn't help but giggle as the cool tickle of the first shadow joined by another, both climbing onto your lap and wrapping themselves around you. The first shadow seemed to have a mind of its own, making its way up your body until it reached your neck, sending a shiver down your spine with its chilly touch. It then weaved through your hair, lightly tugging at strands as it hid behind you while the second shadow curled around your thighs and settled in your lap.

"Did he send you?" You whispered. The shadows seemed to quiver with excitement and you took that as a yes. "Is he doing alright?" The shadows seemed to pause momentarily, their movements becoming more drawn out as if considering your question. You couldn't bring yourself to hope for good news as the shadow on your lap curled down towards the floor. Suddenly, it slithered over to the lamp, coiling around the adjustable arm and then rearing up as though it was looking right at you. You raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What?" The shadow continued its slithering path, occasionally stopping to seemingly look at you.

You stood up and approached the lamp where the shadow seemed to pause in its journey, staring back at you. "What do you want?" You asked, reaching out to touch the lamp and adjusting the arm slightly downwards. The shadow halted its movement so you stopped yours as well. But when you started moving the arm of the lamp back up, the shadow picked up its pace again. You soon realized that this was how it communicated. As you turned the lamp upwards, the light illuminated against the wall, casting bright rays against the otherwise bland beige paint. In what seemed like pure excitement, the shadow scampered down your arm and back up again before joining its companion on the wall.

You took a cautious step back, your eyes locked on the two shadows as they seemed to merge and shift against the wall. The darkness coalesced into a swirling mass, like ink spilled on a canvas, until it finally split apart into two distinct figures. The larger shadow moved to one side of the light while the smaller one slunk to the opposite, as if in a dance.

Feeling a chill run down your spine, you retreated further onto the bed and pulled the rough wool blanket over your legs. As you watched, transfixed, the larger shadow began to take shape - sharp edges forming and an image materializing before your eyes. It was a male figure, with wings that resembled those of a bat. Your heart caught in your throat as the other shadow also shifted into a silhouette of a female.

The two shadows turned to face each other, their postures mirroring that of two lovers leaning against a windowsill. But then, the larger shadow split into two smaller pieces that scampered across the wall towards the female figure. With awe, you realized that these shadows were telling you a story - how Azriel had sent them to comfort you in his absence.

A small smile tugged at your lips and you felt tears prick at your eyes - tears of joy and longing. But you quickly blinked them away as the shadows morphed once again, shifting back into their amorphous forms before intertwining in the center and taking new shapes.

This time, it was the familiar outlines of Azriel and yourself. The two shadows embraced, their arms wrapping around each other in an intimate embrace. You could almost feel Azriel's kiss pressed gently into your hair - just as he always did when you hugged.

The shadows danced and shifted, creating a mesmerizing display of figures in the dimly lit room. Azriel sat at his desk, his brow furrowed in concentration as he ran his hand through his hair - a nervous habit that you had grown to love. In one swift motion, he crumpled a piece of paper and tossed it away from the light, where it disappeared into the darkness.

You chuckled softly as the shadows transformed again, this time into the muscular form of Cassian with his signature half-up bun. Beside him stood Nesta, her pregnant belly rounded and glowing in the dim light. She delicately hung stars and moons onto a mobile, while Cassian worked on something below with a hammer in hand. The pile of materials suddenly transformed into a beautiful cradle, which Cassian proudly presented to Nesta.

So he had built it after all, you thought to yourself with a smile.

Cassian wrapped his strong arm around Nesta's shoulders as she rested her head against him, her hand gently tracing over her stomach. The scene before you was one of pure love and contentment, and you couldn't help but feel your heart swell at the sight.

The shifting shadows revealed Azriel, standing on a balcony overlooking the moonlit city below. The other shadow, representing the moon, soared upwards as Azriel reached out to touch it with one hand. But his posture was hunched and tense, back rising and falling as though it was sobbing. Your own tears mirrored his as you watched Nesta approach him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. The shadow of Azriel turned and fell into her embrace, continuing to cry.

The scene shifted once again, showing the shadow of Azriel and your own shadowy figure walking together, hand in hand in slow motion. As you continued walking forward, the shadow of Azriel suddenly stopped and reached back for you. Your shadow turned to face him and he rushed towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up into the air with joy. A bittersweet laugh escaped your lips as the shadow of Azriel brought your figure close to his, pressing a tender kiss against your lips.

In another scene, the shadows depicted a family dinner with Cassian, Azriel, Rhysand, Feyre, Nyx, Lucien, Elain, and an empty chair. As the shadows sat down to eat and a somber silence settled over them, even little Nyx remained still in his seat. The shadow of Azriel looked towards the empty chair – your chair – and you could feel their longing for you.

Once more, the shadows shifted to show Nyx standing on a platform with Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys at the edge of a lake. The shadows moved like waves over the water as Nyx took a running leap off the platform, his small wings flapping furiously before giving out and sending him plunging into the water below. The shadow of Cassian erupted in laughter while the shadow of Azriel pretended to winnow down to rescue the little boy. The scene repeated a few more times until finally, Nyx took a running leap and his wings caught in the air, allowing him to flap upwards with pride. The shadows of the three males on the platform joined Nyx in the air, their wings unfurling in celebration. He had learned to fly, something Feyre had been so worried about.

The shadows danced and shifted, revealing scenes from your old life that you had never truly appreciated until now. Moments with Azriel stood out the most - curling up on the couch together, wandering through the vibrant streets of Velaris. As they settled into place, the cool touch of the shadows caressed your skin, causing a shiver to run down your spine. One shadow even reached out to brush away a stray tear rolling down your cheek. You let out a soft sniffle and whispered, "Thank you."

In response, the shadows seemed to flicker and settle further around you, as if trying to comfort you in their own way. You allowed yourself to fully absorb the sensation of being enveloped by them, knowing it was Azriel who had sent them, directing them to show you what you had missed and how much he longed for you.

Feeling grateful, you shared your own memories with the shadows, including a few moments that you knew would make Azriel blush for slightly different reasons. With a smile, you thanked the shadows once more and watched as they dissipated into the night, carrying your love and longing back to their master who was surely missing you just as much as you were missing him.

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