#acotar multipart

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 44

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.6K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

The days stretched on into weeks and the absence of news about the conflict between the Night Court and Autumn Court gnawed at your stomach like a knot. You kept telling yourself that no news was better than bad news, but it did little to ease your worries. Trying to distract yourself, you threw yourself into community housing projects and outreach work. Living in the apartments now, you saw firsthand the changes that needed to be made - everything was too dull and lifeless. Despite hoping that residents would bring their own personal touches to make the place cozier, many of them had nothing more than the clothes on their backs. It was then that you decided to create a fund for hiring interior designers from Velaris' fashion districts to liven up the homes. However, many of them were hesitant to step foot into the lower end of the city, let alone work for its impoverished residents. But there were a few generous souls who gladly offered their time, resources, and expertise to help transform the complex. Plush carpeting, fresh paint, and cozy furniture slowly brought life back into the once dreary space.

Your days were now consumed with work, keeping busy whenever there was a moment of quiet. But despite your efforts, thoughts of Azriel lingered constantly. You wondered what he ate for dinner, if it was anything like the delicious chicken curry that one of the mothers had spent all afternoon preparing but didn't have enough ingredients to feed everyone. Did he reach for you in his sleep, searching for warmth and finding only cold sheets? Did he gaze at the moon and feel comfort knowing you were both living under the same night sky?

As promised, Rhysand came to the apartments three times a week, bearing trays of delectable desserts made by Elain and fabric swatches painstakingly chosen and sent by Nesta. Even though you often found yourself lost in thought, trying to discern the minute differences between the fabrics, Nesta still desperately sought your opinion on the nursery. It was an odd sight, seeing the High Lord of the Night Court seated in a too-small apartment, perched upon a rickety second-hand chair. The residents would bow down in reverence at his presence, but he would just give them a soft smile, urging them not to treat him as anything more than a visitor. You rolled your eyes at this statement, knowing all too well that those who saw him with such admiration would be shocked to see him lounging in an oversized chair in his library - feet propped up in pajamas while Nyx curled into his lap, both of their hair tousled from sleep. It was a familiar scene for you now. How had you become so intimately acquainted with the most powerful male in all of the Night Court?

Your conversations were solely focused on practical matters - discussions about the housing project, funding allocations, building permits and requests for aid. You often also worked on your shielding practice. But there was one question that lingered in your mind - if you were able to build up that barrier between you and your mate, could you return to the safety of the Townhouse, to Azriel? Although a part of you wanted to ask Rhysand for his plans regarding your future, you hesitated. You thought it better to live in the naivety that if you just worked hard enough on your shielding you might be able to go home instead of the more probably reality that even if you could keep everyone out, you wouldn’t be allowed back until everything had been resolved.

—

The bed was like a slab of concrete, the sheets coarse and rough against your skin as you lay on your side. The darkness of the room seemed to press in, with only the faint light from the streetlights outside casting long shadows of trees onto the ceiling. The branches swayed and scraped against the window, causing an eerie rhythm that matched the howling wind outside. You squinted at your clock, trying to make out the time. Was it nearing three in the morning? It felt like hours had passed since you crawled into bed, but sleep still eluded you. With a heavy sigh, you rolled onto your back, feeling the cool lace of your nightdress brush against your fingers. The blankets were suffocatingly warm, so you kicked them off, only to be met with a sharp chill from the drafty windows that refused to seal properly. Another thing to add to your never-ending list of things to fix within the apartments.

You slowly swung your legs over the edge of the bed, feeling the hard mattress beneath you as you sat up. Rubbing your tired eyes, you took a moment to adjust to the dimly lit room. With a sigh, you stood up and your toes touched the cold wood floor, sending a shiver through your body. Your back ached with exhaustion as you walked over to the desk on the other side of the room. Flicking on a small lamp, you pulled on the cozy wool cardigan that was draped over the chair, still warm from when you had thrown it there earlier in the day. The thick material hugged your body as you settled into the desk chair, surrounded by stacks of papers waiting to be sorted through. The desk was cluttered and much too small for all of your work, so instead of working there, you often spread everything out on the floor like a giant map. But tonight, it was too late for that, so you simply grabbed a fresh sheet of parchment and started writing a letter to a contractor who could potentially fix your broken windows.

As you wrote down a few words, a cool breeze brushed against your ankle, causing you to look down in surprise. But there was nothing there. You shook your head, pushing away any creeping feelings of loneliness or sadness. Brushing a strand of hair out of your face, you continued writing. Suddenly, another chill ran up your leg and you couldn't ignore it any longer. Pushing away from the desk, you got down on your hands and knees to investigate.

In the corner of the room, two shadows darted up the wall and disappeared into darkness. You let out a light laugh and whispered out into the empty space, "Hello." Your voice caused ripples in the darkness and for a brief moment, it seemed like something was stirring.

"It's okay," you whispered again, beckoning them closer. "Come down!"

One of the shadows hesitantly crept out from the darkness, moving along the top of the wall like a cautious cat. "Don't be shy," you encouraged with a soft laugh.

The shadow paused for a moment, its edges rippling and shifting in thought. Slowly, it started to make its way down the wall, eventually morphing into a thin line before dissolving into a pile on the floor. "Come on," you whispered, crouching down and reaching out your hand.

The other shadow, slightly smaller than the first, followed suit and slithered down the wall towards you. It stayed close to the floor, wrapping around your ankles as it cautiously approached. As it touched your fingertips, you could feel the coldness of its touch enveloping your hand in a grey fog. But as it recognized your touch, it seemed to gain confidence and began moving more quickly up your arm.

You couldn't help but giggle as the cool tickle of the first shadow joined by another, both climbing onto your lap and wrapping themselves around you. The first shadow seemed to have a mind of its own, making its way up your body until it reached your neck, sending a shiver down your spine with its chilly touch. It then weaved through your hair, lightly tugging at strands as it hid behind you while the second shadow curled around your thighs and settled in your lap.

"Did he send you?" You whispered. The shadows seemed to quiver with excitement and you took that as a yes. "Is he doing alright?" The shadows seemed to pause momentarily, their movements becoming more drawn out as if considering your question. You couldn't bring yourself to hope for good news as the shadow on your lap curled down towards the floor. Suddenly, it slithered over to the lamp, coiling around the adjustable arm and then rearing up as though it was looking right at you. You raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What?" The shadow continued its slithering path, occasionally stopping to seemingly look at you.

You stood up and approached the lamp where the shadow seemed to pause in its journey, staring back at you. "What do you want?" You asked, reaching out to touch the lamp and adjusting the arm slightly downwards. The shadow halted its movement so you stopped yours as well. But when you started moving the arm of the lamp back up, the shadow picked up its pace again. You soon realized that this was how it communicated. As you turned the lamp upwards, the light illuminated against the wall, casting bright rays against the otherwise bland beige paint. In what seemed like pure excitement, the shadow scampered down your arm and back up again before joining its companion on the wall.

You took a cautious step back, your eyes locked on the two shadows as they seemed to merge and shift against the wall. The darkness coalesced into a swirling mass, like ink spilled on a canvas, until it finally split apart into two distinct figures. The larger shadow moved to one side of the light while the smaller one slunk to the opposite, as if in a dance.

Feeling a chill run down your spine, you retreated further onto the bed and pulled the rough wool blanket over your legs. As you watched, transfixed, the larger shadow began to take shape - sharp edges forming and an image materializing before your eyes. It was a male figure, with wings that resembled those of a bat. Your heart caught in your throat as the other shadow also shifted into a silhouette of a female.

The two shadows turned to face each other, their postures mirroring that of two lovers leaning against a windowsill. But then, the larger shadow split into two smaller pieces that scampered across the wall towards the female figure. With awe, you realized that these shadows were telling you a story - how Azriel had sent them to comfort you in his absence.

A small smile tugged at your lips and you felt tears prick at your eyes - tears of joy and longing. But you quickly blinked them away as the shadows morphed once again, shifting back into their amorphous forms before intertwining in the center and taking new shapes.

This time, it was the familiar outlines of Azriel and yourself. The two shadows embraced, their arms wrapping around each other in an intimate embrace. You could almost feel Azriel's kiss pressed gently into your hair - just as he always did when you hugged.

The shadows danced and shifted, creating a mesmerizing display of figures in the dimly lit room. Azriel sat at his desk, his brow furrowed in concentration as he ran his hand through his hair - a nervous habit that you had grown to love. In one swift motion, he crumpled a piece of paper and tossed it away from the light, where it disappeared into the darkness.

You chuckled softly as the shadows transformed again, this time into the muscular form of Cassian with his signature half-up bun. Beside him stood Nesta, her pregnant belly rounded and glowing in the dim light. She delicately hung stars and moons onto a mobile, while Cassian worked on something below with a hammer in hand. The pile of materials suddenly transformed into a beautiful cradle, which Cassian proudly presented to Nesta.

So he had built it after all, you thought to yourself with a smile.

Cassian wrapped his strong arm around Nesta's shoulders as she rested her head against him, her hand gently tracing over her stomach. The scene before you was one of pure love and contentment, and you couldn't help but feel your heart swell at the sight.

The shifting shadows revealed Azriel, standing on a balcony overlooking the moonlit city below. The other shadow, representing the moon, soared upwards as Azriel reached out to touch it with one hand. But his posture was hunched and tense, back rising and falling as though it was sobbing. Your own tears mirrored his as you watched Nesta approach him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. The shadow of Azriel turned and fell into her embrace, continuing to cry.

The scene shifted once again, showing the shadow of Azriel and your own shadowy figure walking together, hand in hand in slow motion. As you continued walking forward, the shadow of Azriel suddenly stopped and reached back for you. Your shadow turned to face him and he rushed towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up into the air with joy. A bittersweet laugh escaped your lips as the shadow of Azriel brought your figure close to his, pressing a tender kiss against your lips.

In another scene, the shadows depicted a family dinner with Cassian, Azriel, Rhysand, Feyre, Nyx, Lucien, Elain, and an empty chair. As the shadows sat down to eat and a somber silence settled over them, even little Nyx remained still in his seat. The shadow of Azriel looked towards the empty chair – your chair – and you could feel their longing for you.

Once more, the shadows shifted to show Nyx standing on a platform with Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys at the edge of a lake. The shadows moved like waves over the water as Nyx took a running leap off the platform, his small wings flapping furiously before giving out and sending him plunging into the water below. The shadow of Cassian erupted in laughter while the shadow of Azriel pretended to winnow down to rescue the little boy. The scene repeated a few more times until finally, Nyx took a running leap and his wings caught in the air, allowing him to flap upwards with pride. The shadows of the three males on the platform joined Nyx in the air, their wings unfurling in celebration. He had learned to fly, something Feyre had been so worried about.

The shadows danced and shifted, revealing scenes from your old life that you had never truly appreciated until now. Moments with Azriel stood out the most - curling up on the couch together, wandering through the vibrant streets of Velaris. As they settled into place, the cool touch of the shadows caressed your skin, causing a shiver to run down your spine. One shadow even reached out to brush away a stray tear rolling down your cheek. You let out a soft sniffle and whispered, "Thank you."

In response, the shadows seemed to flicker and settle further around you, as if trying to comfort you in their own way. You allowed yourself to fully absorb the sensation of being enveloped by them, knowing it was Azriel who had sent them, directing them to show you what you had missed and how much he longed for you.

Feeling grateful, you shared your own memories with the shadows, including a few moments that you knew would make Azriel blush for slightly different reasons. With a smile, you thanked the shadows once more and watched as they dissipated into the night, carrying your love and longing back to their master who was surely missing you just as much as you were missing him.

Readers: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria

@florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt

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@hauntedpiratenacho

[readychilledwine]

Bound by Fate - part 3

Summary - Kaylee's life has been filled with training. But as her mate is left with no choice but to distance himself, it allows another connection to form.

Warning - none really? At least I don't think so? There's fire at the end?

A/n- you know that one song from lion king? Reflections of Mufasa? All I can hear at a certain point in this part is that dramatic build and crescendo that starts around 3:55 mins into the song. Hopefully the writing shows that.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

Kaylee was panting, her hands on her knees, and sweat dripping from every inch of skin. Despite the two-piece cropped tank top and leggings Cassian had her training in, she was still so hot. 

He handed her water his own sweat making his muscled forearm glitter in the sunlight. "You're doing great, Kaylee. The perfect little partner for me to spar with right now." She looked at his beaming smile, a brow raised, before sticking out her tongue and making the male laugh. "We're done for today, but Rhys and Amren will be coming to work on magic with you." Kaylee looked at Cassian, her brows raised, waiting for the information she secretly knew was coming. 

Cassian sighed before continuing. "Azriel is still holed up with Nesta and Elain at the House of Wind. He's the only one Elain will respond to. I'm sorry, Kaylee. I understand your frustration." She knew Cassian did just based on the distant look in his eyes. 

It had been two weeks since they discovered Elain would only speak or allow Azriel near her. It drove the new feral part of Kaylee's mind and soul to madness when he'd come to bed, reeking of Elain's soft floral scent. He would comfort Kaylee however he could those first few days, but at the start of the second week, a switch had flipped. Az stopped sleeping with Kaylee. He stopped eating lunch with her at the Riverhouse. He stopped sending his shadows to spend time with her.

Kaylee had never been a jealous person before this. She had never once questioned her self worth or value, but this had her wondering why her mate wouldn't spend time with her, why he actively avoided her, when she stopped being enough for him. 

A hand on her shoulder ripped her from the void she was allowing herself to fall into. "Stop doing that to yourself," a soft voice said. "He misses you too. She just-" Rhysand paused to turn Kaylee to look at him. "Elain only eats when Azriel is there, and therefore Nesta will eat. I know it hurts, little bee. I am sorry." Cassian muttered an inaudible phrase before kissing Kaylee's forehead and moving inside. "Take a bath and a nap, Cass. It's an order." Cassian lifted a single finger over his shoulder as he moved inside. 

Rhysand crossed his arms over the black t-shirt he was wearing. He was dressed casually today, indicating to Kaylee they were heading into the forest. "Once she is stable, Kaylee. He will be comfortable coming home." He offered her his arm. "Amren is already in the clearing we will be using." She took his arm, closing her eyes tightly as he winnowed her away.

They had left Kaylee in the center of the clearing meditating. She was acutely aware of every sound around her. From the rushing water in the creek, to every soft scurry of small rodents around her, Kaylee heard it all. 

Even with her eyes closed, she felt as though she was seeing clearly. She was watching the forest move past her slowly from higher than she had ever stood. Strong legs carried what felt like her body. A stable mind moved her without thinking about it's path. She watched as hooved feet moved into a crystal blue lake, enjoying the feeling of the cool water on warm legs.

Two heart beats became one as Kaylee tapped further into that feeling. She focused solely on that rhythm beating into her own chest until it overtook every sense she had left.

And then, to Rhysand and Amren's shock and horror, Kaylee disappeared.

Rhysand ran the clearing, searching in the air for any signs of her, before landing and looked at Amren. "Did she just shatter the shield we had in place?"

Amren smirked, her voice light and airy. "She did. I told you she would. You didn't listen. Idiot."

Rhys immediately called for Cassian and Azriel, cursing himself loudly as Amren smirked and began to walk along the forest line, watching for any indication of the young sister.

While Rhys was too lost in panic causing him to only look for obvious signs, Amren had predicted this day's ago when Kaylee's power first tried to tap into her own being, and then Rhysand's beast form, only to have both of them turn her away. And this was confirmation to one clear thing to Amren, their beasts only turned them away because sweet Kaylee was not strong enough, yet.

Her silver eyes locked on several butterflies and bees, dancing together, twirling together, and flying into the same direction deep into the trees.

Azriel appeared first, his face exhausted from lack of sleep. "What happened?" 

Cassian landed at the same with a loud thud, a brow raised at Rhysand. "It happened, didn't it?"

The High Lord nodded slowly before turning to Azriel to explain. "Amren and I have been working with Kaylee to distract her. She started almost tapping into the essence of an animal in the forest after she unknowingly attempted to tap into my beast form." 

Rhysand held his hand to Azriel as the shadowsinger immediately began to try to speak. The sun had begun to set, and finding Kaylee was going to be impossible in the dark.  "It was almost as if her powers made it so she and this animal could become one being, one mind, one body, one soul."

Rhysand paused. "Yesterday things came to a head. She almost tapped into it fully, but she could not sync something. She became frustrated and we could not figure out why, and she could not express why. Armen suggested quiet meditation today instead of us guiding her, and we learned today what it was. She needed to sync their hearts. As soon as she did, she disappeared. I could not tell what she was linking with before it happened, though."

Azriel felt anger setting in slowly and his shadows immediately left him to search for his mate. "So my mate with powers we do not understand is somewhere in the forest with Gods knows what? Why did no one tell me this was starting? I should have been here! I should have been with her! If you had not ordered me to take care of Elain, I could have been here."

Rhysand wanted to answer but he was interrupted as Amren whistled and pointed up and then to the ground. "The creatures are all heading the same direction." The ancient being began to slowly follow their path. "Are you idiots coming or are you just going to stand there with each other's dicks in your hands?"

They trekked for what Azriel's heart felt like was hours. Every snap of a twig, rustle of leaves, and song of a bird had him on edge. 

His Kaylee, his sweet defenseless Kaylee, was somewhere in this forest, a forest he, Cassian, and Rhysand rarely even entered because of the dangers that lay in it. Not even the trees themselves in this forest could be trusted. They almost moved with minds of their own at times, trapping fae within the hallowed ground that these woods have become. It was filled with wildlife that had a taste for blood, lower fae that enjoyed harming others, and countless predators. This was not a safe place for his mate who had hardly begun to use her magic and hardly knew how to fight. Azriel had already made up his mind. If anything happened to Kaylee while she was alone out here, he'd kill Rhysand, and based off the look his brother had just shot him, the High Lord knew that.

Amren was far ahead of them. Watching closely as each bird flew further and further into the heavy bush. She had no choice but to believe they would lead her to the High Lady's youngest sister. After another few miles, she finally paused, stopping them on the edge of another clearing that surrounded a quiet lake. 

They were all surrounded by countless animals who seemed to be watching with anxiety and anticipation. Rhysand moved to step closer for the ancient being to turn and growl slightly. "Not a single step closer, boy," her voice was hushed and tight.

There centered in the lake, her long blonde hair completely loose from the tie she previously had it in and blowing gently in the breeze was Kaylee. 

She was waist deep into the blue waters, the sunshine was kissing every inch of her skin in golden light. It was as if she was radiating, as if she was almost glittering in her power. It was intoxicating for all of them. Seeing her like this had a small smirk forming on Cassian's face, it had Rhysand's breath hitched in his throat as worry and pride set in, it had Amren feeling her own soul almost buzzing, and something primal and deep in Azriel began to stir, something he hadn't even realized was there until now.

The sight was beautiful, but it was what stood before Kaylee that had Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys on edge. A great  creature stood in front of her. It's head lifted in pride and dignity as it looked down at her form. 

It towered before her on long sturdy legs lean with muscle, its dark red coat shone with health. It was at least triple her size and could easily harm her if it had wanted to. she barely reached its cream underbelly. The beast released a loud call, making the other animals all seem to flutter with joy. Itss antlers were twisted and numerous. Had they been in Autumn, this would have been a prized buck hunted for sport and hung above a mantle. Here, in its domain, though, it was clear this beast was the King of this forest, and on his head did not sit horns, but a crown.

It commanded respect, and clearly was testing Kaylee to see if she would offer it. Kaylee's right hand slowly raised, and she held it in the air, waiting for the red stag to welcome her touch, allowing it to make a choice. She would not force the being to her, but instead let it decide.

Not a single word came from the fae or animals as the King studied her, evaluating if Kaylee was indeed worthy for him in all of her glowing power. Azriel almost laughed as Amren's hand gripped Rhysand's wrist almost anxiously until Cassian's hand found his, gripping it tightly as well in support and worry.

In minutes that felt like hours, the great antlered animal began to move its head lower to Kaylee, and his decision was made as he put his long nose to Kaylee's palm. 

Unknowingly to the four of them, the beast sent Kaylee a single message in the bond that was beginning to form between them. You are enough, little one.

Light came between the two as her skin made contact with his fur. It was white and almost blinding screaming of innocence, of untapped potential. It was warm, welcoming, but fierce in its own right. 

"Beast tamer," Amren finally said slowly. "Kaylee is the Cauldron and Mother's beast tamer."

The two beings began to nuzzle each other closer, and Kaylee's forehead came to rest on the King's. 

Azriel would have given the world to frame this moment. His mate shining as her powers were finally acknowledged and known. The happiness radiating from her soul. The tranquility between her and this monstrous animal was almost deafening.

His Kaylee, his honeybee, blessed with the powers long lost to the Cauldron. 

And in turn, his Kaylee, his mate, cursed by the Mother with powers so ancient they had not been seen  since the Gods of old roamed the lands.

Kaylee felt warm wet tears streaming down her face as the stag released another loud call, causing the other animals around them to begin to cry and call in celebration. 

It is time to step into your power and responsibility. A deep voice rang into her soul. I am glad to be your first companion on this journey, Kaylee. Now go to your mate. He is terrified.

Kaylee turned around, seeing Amren and Rhysand smirking behind her. Cassian was wearing a beaming smile as he smacked a hand to a stunned Azriel's shoulder.  The Little beings of the forest moved, creating a pathway. "Az, I made a new friend."

Azriel moved forward. Stepping into the water and getting close to her. "I can see that, my heart." He moved closer again slowly. "Am I allowed to come get you?"

The king, in response, pushed gently on Kaylee's back, throwing her into Azriel's arms. I will be in the clearing you normally train in tomorrow. He moved with another call, causing the animals to return to their normal lives. 

Azriel held Kaylee tightly as they flew back home. Amren had opted to fly with Rhysand ahead of them, looking back at the two of them and Cassian. 

Once they landed at the Riverhouse, Azriel did not give Rhysand and Amren a chance to ambush his mate and carried her up the stairs to her room. 

He slept in her bed that night, his arms locked tight around her, wings cocooning them in. He fell into a deep sleep, accompanied by dreams of them living in a cabin near that clearing with three small children and countless animals.

Meanwhile, Kaylee's dream was filled with darkness, the only light source coming from the lit torch she was holding. Her footsteps were the only thing she could hear aside from deep, heavy breaths and her own humming.

A huge creature with scaled skin was suddenly looking at Kaylee with one of its black eyes. It roared loudly, teeth bared to her before turning its large head and neck up. Fire erupted along the ceiling, allowing Kaylee to finally see its gargantuan body, rows of jagged sharp teeth, and massive wings. Kaylee woke up screaming in terror for Azriel. Her heart raced as she sat in silence, hand clutched to her chest, breath coming out in uneven shakes.

Azriel was immediately up, comforting his mate as Rhys ran into the room, his eyes wide in disbelief and locked on Kaylee. The high lord and shadowsinger held eye contact. "Kaylee," Rhysand began slowly. "Did you feel a call before you ended up in that cave? Did it feel similar to the buck?" She nodded, trying to calm her racing heart. "Kaylee, look at me. I need you to make sure you do not sync with what you just saw until we have a better understanding of your powers and more control. Bond with it in your dreams, speak with it, but you do NOT sync with it. Am I understood?"

The young sister just nodded. Azriel looked between his brother and his mate before gently touching Kaylee's cheek and moving her head to face him. "Baby, what did you see?"

Kaylee's eyes met Azriel's, they were filled with fear and tears causing his heart to clench. "A dragon." Kaylee took another still deep breath. "I saw a dragon."

Bound by Fate taglist:

@impossibelle @luvmoo @wallacewillow0773638 @nightless @cat-or-kitten @knmendiola

@holb32 @mis-lil-red

[ncssian]

some nessian fics i really like + why i like them;

this coincidentally went along with @anidealiveson's thanksvember idea, but it's a little different. these are either my favorite nessian fics ever or fics that i thought did something really well so im gonna put them in the hall of fame anyway :)

(also im sure most people have already heard of most of these but idc)

***

Sympathy for the Devil by @saphie3243: ACOTAR series told from Nesta's POV; maybe the best and most comprehensive take on Nesta's thoughts, inner workings, and emotions. It gives such an honest glimpse into her character that it feels like canon. Would recommend if you love reading longass essays on why Nesta is the way she is.

POETRY by @sayosdreams: short oneshot where Nessian are assigned to a creative writing project together that was just tender enough to imprint on my mind forever; on this list for the line "I think I just fell a little bit in love with you."

Drops of Sapphire by @sayosdreams: open for a surprise :)

Tidal by @flowerflamestars: No thoughts all I know is that Pacific Rim sexy!!! The aesthetic makes me feral and jaeger-pilot Nessian make me feral!!

Love Her Like She Should Be Loved by @julemmaes: This fic is so crucial for anyone who's ever wanted to slap the IC around or see Cassian stand up for his girl. I wish there was a word for this specific trope b/c it's my favorite trope ever, but for now I call it romantic-partner-goes-feral-when-people-are-mean-to-the-love-of-their-life. Also Nesta being treated like an outcast will never not make me cry.

Sister by @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter: the same trope as LHLSSBL! Newly mated to Nesta, Cassian's temper is hanging on by a thread when he has to be around Rhys and the IC, remembering how they treated Nesta when she was depressed and alone. Very angsty and dramatic ficlet; 5 stars. (this person has a lot of amazing nessian fics this one is just my favorite)

Under The Weather by @thewayshedreamed: my favorite take of the many Cassian-taking-care-of-sick-Nesta fics out there. It feels extra special when Nesta and Cassian are barely acquaintances but he'll drop everything to take care of her anyway. Also caring Cassian>>> cocky Cassian.

Hellhound by @thewayshedreamed: more caring Cassian! He intervenes when Nesta is on the verge of a panic attack and helps calm her down and it's all very sweet and soft. (oneshot)

Mad Woman by @smallerinfinities: this fic is fairly new but it instantly grabbed my attention; it has escort Cassian providing Nesta with ~therapy~ which I didn't know I needed until I read it for myself. (multipart)

What's Wrong With A Good Story? by @maastrash: I can't believe I forgot to add this the first time around but this fic is a Nessian staple! Other than Nesta in scrubs and terminally ill Cassian (crying), the relationship development in this fic is adorable and makes me not care if the ending is tragic or not.

A Court of Fever and Frustration by @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter: nesta takes care of cassian this time, and it's PERFECTTT. romance has always been about the little details to me, and this fic is full of little details: rubbing someone's back, knowing where they're hurting without asking, soothing touches. i also think being sick makes characters vulnerable in a way that physical injuries just can't and i love seeing cassian absolutely wrecked in front of nesta. ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

some hand-picked faves from @lady-therion's masterlist (these are the five-star comfort fics for when i'm really missing nessian):

Close Quarters: snowed-in-a-cabin fic that is soft, warm, and ~tender~

The Warrior's Heart: mostly smut, but like poignant smut? it's not necessarily emotional but it makes me emotional, and it's entirely because of the writing.

Entirely My Own: more of the same type of smut that makes me feel the same way as TWH. i think the word i'm looking for is "intimacy", and it's my absolute favorite thing to find in a fic.

Honorable mention goes to Her Dark Affection: dom!Nesta, enough said.

this is definitely not an exhaustive list and im sure i've forgotten a lot of wonderful fics, but i will be updating this as i find/remember more fics i love! also make sure to check out the complete masterlists of all these writers bc there are definitely works not on this list that i think people would enjoy the hell out of.

[wilteddaisies]

Yours - Prologue

Azriel x Female!Reader (acotar)

Word Count: 282

Summary: You are Feysand’s daughter and you’ve just come home from your studies in the Day Court. Azriel needs someone with extensive training in magic in order to complete a mission for the Night Court. You happen to be just what he needs.

Warnings: age gap?, probably cursing, eventual smut, wing kink ;)

Note: Hi, this is my first fic ever so please be kind, lol. I originally posted the first two parts of this fic on a side blog but I have since deleted that blog so I am reposting it here. This is going to be a short multipart series involving Feysand’s daughter and Azriel. If this dynamic bothers you, please do not read. Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

PROLOGUE

You would never admit it out loud, but among all of your aunts and uncles, Uncle Azriel has always been your favorite. The first time he saw you, you were just a toddler, just over a year old. Your other aunts and uncles had already met you, but he had been away on important business for the Night Court for over a year. And though he missed his family and them him, his duties were too important to abandon. 

Your whole extended family were fawning over you, passing you around. But you didn’t mind, in fact you loved the attention and even at that age, you could feel the love they held for you. You went from your mother to a doting Elain, to a teasing Cassian, to a calm Nesta, to a curious Amren, to a very eager Mor.  When you finally got around to Uncle Azriel, he seemed scared to touch you, but Auntie Mor plopped you onto his lap anyway.  You seemed so innocent and pure sitting on his lap, and still a bit shy because he was a stranger to you at this point. You looked at him curiously, tilting your head. Then you reached for his hand which you pried from around your middle. You looked, puzzled, at his scars and he made to gently pull his hand from your chubby little hand but you held firm. The room collectively tensed. Your eyebrows furrowed before you leaned in and kissed his scarred fingers, like your daddy did whenever you got hurt. Your actions were met by a chorus of “Awe”s from the circle and at that moment, Azriel knew you had a piece of his heart. 

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading! The next part should be up soon, after a bit of editing. If you wanna be added to the taglist, you can leave a comment below :)

I do not consent for my work to be reposted or translated on tumblr or any other site, but reblogs are always welcome!

[oof-big-oof]

SJM Critique - Introduction and Contents

I - Why do I care, and why should you? There are two things about me you need to know at the top of this multipart endless rant.

I detest SJM

I have read every single one of her books

Why? I don't know, but I have been trying to figure out. I think it boils down to this: It is equal parts the fact the joy we derive from criticism and don't want to admit, and the fact that she represents the icky parts of so much of things that I love: YA without the good representation and innovative plotlines, feminism without the knowledge of intersectionalities, fantasy without nuance. Here's why you should care. If you aren't the biggest fan of SJM, I hope this will help you work through some of the feelings you have about her books. If you are a SJM fan - no hate at all, we are all entitled to our opinions - but I do think recognizing the works we love may be flawed and problematic in some places should be considered integral to properly enjoying them.

I also think it is necessary to care given the audience that SJM appeals to. That is - tens of thousands of children of all genders across the world are shaping their perception of the world based on these books, and we should ensure what they are reading - and the subconscious molding young adults and adults are going through as well - is truly in line with our values and the world we want to see.

II - How will this be structured?

I thought it may be a fun idea to structure my grievances with her by book. I might skip some if I don't have enough material, or combine some others - but that is the broad structure. I'll also be using this post as a sort of index.

III - Contents

To be posted:

ACOTAR and setups

I. Feyre

II. Rhysand and Tamlin

III. Nesta

ACOMAF and a rant about where we go wrong with the bad boy trope

ACOWAR and suffering =/= scenery

ACOSF and writing healing arcs

TOG and the "POC guide" trope

COM and sex positivity

HOF and imperialism

EOS and I am sorry but it's time to talk about Mary Sues

TOD and tokenistic representation

KOA and a short overview of colonization (with a brief foray into whatever the fuck the Night Court wants to do to Prythian)

[oversizedbats]

tumblr tag game 😛

thank you for the tag @nina-zcnik !!!

1. Why did you choose your url?

“Why should I be afraid of an oversized bat who likes to throw temper tantrums?”

2. Any side blogs?

I help out at @illyrianet

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I had a personal tumblr in like 2016 that went dead in late 2017. I didn’t really come on here again until last summer when I reread acotar and went looking for Nessian fanfics.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I do not. The only time I used the queue feature on this blog was for a multipart fanfic while I was offline for a week to read acosf.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to support the artists, writers and creators in the fandom and be able to organize stuff by tags to find it again later and my long dead personal tumblr account wasn’t really suitable for that so I made this one.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Idk I saw it and obviously thought of the Queen of Queens, Nesta Archeron.

7. Why did you choose your header?

I am a Nessian whore.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Pretty sure it’s this one about fae menstruation lol

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Noooo clue I just know most of them come from Illyrianet

10. How many followers do you have?

161 :)

11. How many people do you follow?

44

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Every original post I’ve ever made is a shit post lmfao. I don’t write or draw or contribute in any meaningful way to this fandom I’m more of a throw all my thoughts into the void blog.

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

Too often. I got into the habit of obsessively refreshing the Nessian tag last summer and the muscle memory of opening and checking Tumblr has kind of stuck since then.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

No but someone recently tried. They were promptly blocked.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I get it. I’m sure it’s frustrating for creators. I made this account specifically so I could reblog fandom work but everyone has different comfort levels with what their social media presence is though so I also understand why people don’t. I didn’t reblog stuff until I had made this account bc I wasn’t gonna expose my Nessian smut tastes to people I used to go to high school with 😂

16. Do you like tag games?

For the most part even if I don’t do a lot of them (I see and appreciate everyone who tags me though I just get distracted/busy)

17. Do you like ask games?

Sure why not?

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Anyone from Illyrianet that has no business following this blog in any other circumstances 😂 Mostly @nina-zcnik @ladyvanserra and @vanserrasvalkyrie

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

All of them 😌

20. Tags!

@arinbelle @positivewitch @simpingfornestaarcheron @starbornvalkyrie @arielle-reads​ @ladyvanserra @vanserrasvalkyrie @illyrianvalkyrie and anyone else who sees this consider yourself tagged 😛

[readychilledwine]

Eris Week Day 7 - Free Day

Kissed by Fire - Series Prologue

Happy last post of @erisweek2023. You've all met Amelia post mating bond acceptance, but this series is about her journey and the beginning of her and Eris's story.

Warnings - drowning and death

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

The Cauldron was cold. The kind of cold you never actually recovered from. It just stayed with you haunting you until death, and only part of Amelia was ready to die. 

She fought the deep water, swimming as hard as she could in a never-ending darkness.

"The oldest sister, the wanderer, the adventurer. I've been dreaming of you, sweet girl," a dark feminine voice caressed her  ears as she let out the last bubble of breath she had been holding onto. 

Her lungs burned, begging for oxygen. She pleaded for someone, anyone to come save her. "I have plans for you, traveler. No longer will you be burdened by confinement. I've been waiting so long for you," a faint golden light came from the inky darkness. 

It reminded Amelia of her favorite time of day. That perfect part during the sunset, where the sun hits the horizon, spraying rays and basking the world in molten gold light. "Golden hour," she had called it once as she braided Nesta's hair into an intricate crown. "It's that last beautiful moment before the sun and the moon realize they must say goodbye again." 

Her veins burned as it flowed into her, through her, igniting every nerve into sheer agony. She tried to scream, but water rushed quickly into her lungs. Please, she pleaded. Just take me.

"Sweet Amelia Archeron. Travel, wander, get lost in this world and all others connected to it. Be free." Darkness spotted in her vision despite the bright light continuing to enter her body.

Amelia stopped fighting at that moment, closing her eyes slowly. Death had finally come, and what was the point in fighting when she could just welcome it?

[readychilledwine]

I'm working on Part 3 of Bound by Fate tonight, sooooooooo......

Without giving away her powers, members of the cervidae family are animals that tend to represent the Gods in a lot of mythology and are considered sacred beings. This is shown in a lot of literature ( a couple of known examples - Rhaenyra Targaryen and the white stag, Aelin and The Lord of the North).

They symbolize instincts, intuition, speed, agility, grace, gentleness, and devotion as well. I feel like they are the perfect animal for Kaylee's first..... let's call it bond before she *spoiler* starts collecting mythical creatures like Pokémon cards

That being said....

Red stag Deer

Roosevelt Elk

Alaskan Moose

[readychilledwine]

Flight Patterns part two is getting posted Saturday 💜

Peep your preview below the cut

"What the fuck is happening to my court?!" The demand in his voice had Aerilyn almost trembling. "What in the fuck is that thing doing?!"

She stared at him doe eyed, moving closer into the protection Cassian offered and keeping up her act. "Rhys stop, she clearly doesn't understand you."

The High Lord looked enraged. Yanking the bond so hard Aerilyn released a small scream and fell to her knees. Cassian knelt to her immediately, craddling her head and holding her close to him. He had never felt powerless because of Rhysand, but he did now. "Call. It. Off." He growled at her. "Call your damned beast off before I kill it."

[readychilledwine]

MASTERLIST:

** - Indicates Smut

Bold - Indicates a Multipart Fic

Please see my "Get to Know Me" if you are interested in requesting something

Check out my WIP List if you're interested in what I have coming

Want to request something but need some inspiration? Check out this list of my favorite prompts from across Tumblr

Per request - DV Resources for the US. You aren't alone. You are seen. You deserve to be heard. Your story should be told.

SJM Fandom:

Rhysand

Azriel

Cassian

Eris Vanserra

Lucien Vanserra

Tamlin

Helion

Ruhn Danaan

Rowan Whitethorn

The Whore Home Masterlist

(Aka the smut featuring characters no one asked for)

ACOTAR Drabbles

Acotar Headcanons (coming soon)

Acotar Body Headcanons

2023 Halloween Masterlist

Elizabeth's Birthday Celebration Masterlist

Readychilledwine's Maternity Celebration Masterlist

2024 Poly+Acotar Week Masterlist

2024 Kink Bingo Masterlist

2024 Villain's Week Masterlist

2024 Rhysand Week Masterlist

2024 Elain Week Masterlist

2024 Eris Week Masterlist

2024 Monster Mash Masterlist

Elizabeth's 2024 Birthday Bash Masterlist

[readychilledwine]

Hello lovelies! Long post regarding requests below the cut 💜

Tldr located at the bottom. 💜

I currently have over 30 things in my inbox 😬

I am in the process of trying to condense similar requests down to maybe give a few people who are requesting very similar things something that covers what both parties want.

I also am just going to be just responding to some instead of giving them full fics or drabbles. There's a few that are very similar to fics I've already posted, WIPS I already have, or their ideas for things I've made multipart fics.

If it's similar to one I've posted, I'm concerned with those that I may end up almost copy and pasting with a few name changes, and that's not the content quality I want to give all of you nor the expectation I have of myself, so I will not be fulfilling those requests at the moment, but I want your ideas to be out there for someone else. If it's similar to a WIP, I'm responding with a preview of what's written. If it's an idea for an existing multipiece, you may get a little preview, or just the side eye emojis if I'm trying to keep things sneaky sneaky (like I am with Bound by Fate and Cat and Mouse)

*heavy sigh here*

Warnings for this next part - discussion things in my inbox related to requests I'm receiving for (insert several SJM males x pregnant reader)

I really don't know how to address this next part without risking some people getting upset, but I have to. If this next part upsets you, please know this is a me thing, not a you thing, and I genuinely hate saying no.

There's a few requests I'm going to let sit for a little bit or just delete, and if you are one of those people who sent them, I'm so sorry.

There's a lot that would require me to address very real fears that I, as a pregnant woman and soon to be mother, am currently dealing with, counteract, and have to watch for. I know it comes off very excuse-y because "writing is therapy," but I don't think any amount of therapy really stops a mother from being afraid for the safety and health of their child, especially a newborn who relies so heavily on you.

I've tried multiple times to start a request that's started to affect my own dreams about my child, myself, and what my poor baby daddy would do if someone took us from him, and, to be frank, he's closed my laptop when I start doing the thousand mile stare, begin stage one of hyperventilating, and crying. He loves that you all support me, but we have spent the night talking about it, and this needs to be a temporary boundary for a little bit, and it may become a permanent one.

Again, I am so sorry, but I have to keep my emotional and mental well-being stable and safe for our daughter while she finishes baking to perfection the next couple of months. I will happily give you all nesting and warm happy pregnancy feelings and emotions. I'll address minor pregnancy angsts as well, like days with light movement, the anxiety that sets in between appointments, the fights my boyfriend and I and a ton of other expecting couples go through, but I do kindly have to ask that kidnapped pregnant readers enduring torture, kidnapped babies, killed off (via torture or death during labor) pregnant readers, and still birth requests stop coming to my inbox. I just can't handle them this late into my pregnancy.

Tldr and skipped below - Elizabeth will be going through and posting requests or responding to them. She loves requests and wants them, but she also has asked that people stop sending her requests regarding the following

Kidnapped newborns

Pregnant readers being tortured/forced into preterm labor

Pregnant reader dying during labor

Pregnant reader being murdered and the baby is taken

And my personal favorite nightmare inducing senerio- acotar male x pregnant reader with a stillborn.

Again, send requests. I love them. Please just consider if I'm actually the right person for it. Again, I am very sorry to anyone who may be disappointed now, but hopefully, I can fulfill your imagination other ways. 💜

[ncssian]

What r your WIPs?

i have soo many cool oneshot ideas lying around waiting to be written, but im focusing on two big multipart fics right now:

A Favor: modern nessian au; after a storm leaves nesta's apartment flooded, her sister's nice friend offers to let her stay with him in his fancy mountain cabin free of charge until she can get back on her feet. featuring forced proximity, socially awkward nesta, simp cassian, and an awful amount of tender moments between two people who are supposed to be strangers.

Mother of Death: velaris is a post-modern metropolis under night court rule. when night court residents start encroaching and killing on sacred and heavily protected witch lands (colonialism tingz), grieving witch matriarch nesta archeron is pulled out of her self-imposed isolation to protect her homeland and get revenge, with the help of night court member cassian, no less. featuring all types of supernatural creatures (CC style), scary powerful witch matriarch nesta, bodyguard cassian, and rhys as a big bad capitalist. all my favorite things/themes/plot devices from TOG/CC/ACOTAR thrown into one nesta-centric au (not a crossover, though).

idk what i want my next oneshot to be but it might be one with nesta having a sibling-type love/hate relationship with lucien bc they're both my faves.