#losing sanity

[gayregina]

I am willing to bet real money that Armand was watching the interview of Daniel on his iPad with wide eyes and occasionally kicking his feet, trying to pretend he isn’t aroused because he hates this guy🙄

[yolowritter]

I was traumatized today...by the Ghost Emilie Au

Welp...@asukiess, you did it. You traumatized me. Renouned writer of angst and emotional damage dealer that I am, you destroyed me mentally. I don't even have a cheery intro for this post, my mind is utterly consumed by the thoughts of poltergeist Emilie Agreste. And I, of course, wrote something about it! Here it is and please enjoy! Also, for everyone else, this right here is where I got the inspiration. Yes I'm perfectly fine thank you! Being very normal about this! Anyway, here you all go! A scene where Emilie realizes she's dead for the first time! Enjoy while I go drive myself insane about what exactly she'd do to Gabriel and Nathalie afterwards!

(Adding a cut for those who want to scroll)

Emilie Agreste was cold. That she felt anything at all would’ve seemed a miracle, if the last shreds of her mind weren’t bogged down by a thick, blinding fog. Distantly, a tiny part of her brain—most likely a miniscule shred of sanity—perked up, gently reminding that she ought to be resting. But her deathbed was a warm, comfortable place. Gabriel had made sure to give her that much, at least when he wasn’t busy pacing ditches in the manor’s marble tiles, or tearing his hair out over the Grimoire’s untranslatable pages. Then, ever so gingerly, Emilie tried to move. Eyes still struggling to open, phantom dizziness plaguing her motor skills, and memories of raspy coughs all attempted to lay her low. She pushed past it, clumsily feeling for what must be a solid surface underneath her, even if its texture did not resemble the warm nest she’d made for herself on the bed she would depart this world from.

Then, out of nothing but pure reflex, her legs move, turn as she shifts the rest of her body, and Emilie Agreste manages to stand. It should be impossible, the logical part of her mind whispers, yet it’s drowned out by a cacophony of new sensations, all screaming inside her head. She’s standing up, with legs that haven’t been any use for months now. Quivers and aches dig into them like ice-cold knives; phantom pains she never had the heart to tell Gabriel about rip through Emilie’s skin all at once, and she almost topples over. Should have crumbled to…whatever floor there is underneath her, but the once-useless limbs don’t drag her down. Instead of dead weight, her whole body feels light as a feather, and the woman’s eyes finally snap open in full, from the sheer surprise of it all.

She’s…in the basement, Emilie notes. Standing on that little platform they’d erected for a butterfly garden, Gabriel’s small piece of paradise, filled with blooming flowers for Nooroo to zip through and give the Kwami some measure of comfort from his solitude. Very rarely did they use his Miraculous; there simply wasn’t a need to further mess with extraordinary powers after Adrien had been created. The steel catwalk looks just as she remembers, railings on either side and overhead lights bleeding a brilliant white that feels almost blinding to her still-adjusting eyes. Distantly, Emilie realizes she never fell down, is still standing no matter how impossible that should be. She looks down at her legs, sees them holding strong in a way she once struggled to remember. Gingerly, the woman takes a step across the catwalk, and then another, and another. Her heart skips every time her shoes make contact with the cold metal, but it slowly dawns that she can walk again.

Emilie is moving her whole body with nary a thought. It’s easy, almost miraculously so. As if the side effects of using the broken Peacock never marred her body…or there isn’t a body to afflict. She blinks at the invasive thought, almost laughs to herself at how ridiculous it sounds. Then, she pauses. A long, silent moment washes over Emilie, and she curiously taps her foot against the metal flooring. Not a sound. The familiar metallic clicks are gone, as if there isn’t anything there to make them. Surely that’s a mistake. Her ears must just be…wrong, is all! A tiny chuckle escapes through her mouth; she hears the laughter just fine as it fills the empty space, first low—almost inaudible—and by the end a deafening, manic sound that would rupture any human’s eardrums. Akin to nails being dragged along a chalkboard, Emilie Agreste cackles at the very idea; she’s probably just not used to being awake after…how long, exactly? The woman breathes, yet feels not the sensation of lungs pushing out along with her chest. Only the same, ever-present chill, which reminds her of a gentle breeze.

She pauses once more, before shaking her head and blinking the ridiculous notions away. Emilie forces herself to pace, focuses on miming deep breaths and pointedly ignores the way her legs feel weightless, as if autumn leaves would simply phase through, should she venture to the surface and then outside the manor. It’s cold in their little safe haven; a spot meant for keeping flowers year-round ought to be the opposite. Emilie looks down at herself again, sees the usual outfit on her person. By all means, the air shouldn’t be chilly…and yet.

The woman runs a hand through her blonde hair, mysteriously kept together without a strand out of place. She doesn’t bother questioning it, mind instead turning all attention to something else. Another, safer topic, one that doesn’t make the back of her brain writhe and wriggle whenever her thoughts stray towards its comprehension. Adrien. Her son, the perfect creation she and Gabriel had brought into the world. Emilie’s heart would sink whenever she thought of him, in her final hour. Or…what might have been, were she not awake and clearly conscious. She’d known that her husband, for all his love towards her, would be wracked by too much grief to properly care for him. But she’d trusted Nathalie to be there for them both, in a way that Emilie herself had simple become unable to.

She thinks to go upstairs, to see him again. Her mind still struggles to process that she’s awake at all—is being ravaged by hundreds of questions as to her current situation—and Emilie desperately needs a distraction. Something to hold onto, that’ll ground her until the air feels like it’s filling her lungs again, and the catwalk’s metal clanks against her soles. Maybe…maybe she’ll give him a flower. Another safe notion, to pick a flower out for her son. Something small, a dainty little thing like that daisy which had grown in their backyard years ago; later being gifted to her by the tiny boy she had made not even a decade ago. Emilie knows that this is a flower garden; there will be plenty to pick from here.

Every so slowly, she makes to turn around. The metal remains eerily silent; the air as cold as Tibet feels in her memories. Just as Emilie’s foot leaves the ground, a stinging breeze floods the open chamber…yet she doesn’t topple over. It’s odd; weightless as her legs appear to be, a light shove should send her tumbling down. She doesn’t sit on the thought, and gingerly completes the motion. With great care, the woman finally looks up from her feet…and sees an object she could swear has no place in the sanctuary. It's metallic; a plain, shimmering thing, without any of the exaggerated ornate designs she’d playfully chided Gabriel for adorning their new home with years ago, before Adrien’s existence had even been voiced as a vague idea. It’s shaped like a pod of sorts; the kind of thing people would step in for a few hours to quickly get a tan. There are two engraved sheets of metal at it’s front, looking like they slide open to reveal an interior. Emilie’s mind writhes as she curiously steps closer, starting to fiddle with the attached mechanism. What the hell had Gabriel put this here for? It was large enough to fit a person!

After another moment of fumbling with the thing in front of her, a sharp hiss sounds in the woman’s ears, almost coursing through her very soul. As if they’ve been used a thousand times, the metal sheets easily slide into the pod’s sides, revealing a glass case just beneath. Emilie takes a closer look; her eyes seem to dark everywhere but the interior, refusing to cooperate and sending incomprehensible sensations to her brain. She pushes through the mania; surely she’s just being paranoid! And with a shaky, miserably pathetic breath…Emilie Agreste raises her gaze, and looks at herself through the glass. Perfect. There’s no other way to accurately describe her look-alike. Resting in a peaceful, almost pristine slumber, hands gingerly placed atop one another at the waist. Had she still possessed the necessary organs, the blonde’s breath would have hitched. Her heart would stop beating from the shock alone, and she would have fainted, only to wake up in her bed and reveal this as nothing more than a fevered nightmare. Yet, the replica persists in its angelic existence. A wax statue in some morbid display case; it’s both everything and nothing like Emilie. Her fake’s smile lacks the slight mischievous curl of her lip which preceded a prank on Gabriel. Her eyes are sealed shut; windows to the soul forever closed. She looks as if someone recreated her visage from memory while never having met her. Maybe they were blind, a tiny voice echoes in the back of her head, electing a desperate giggle from the woman as she finally manages to take her eyes off it.

Then…the dreaded realization dawns on her at last. This…thing, it is her. Exactly what Emilie had always pretended to be. Perfect and untouchable, the best at even something as simple as existing. Desperately, she searches for a familiar warmth. A hint of her old smile. She leans forward to better see…but there is no reflection. Everything is gone, leaving behind only memories. A pristine, immaculately-kept statue for Gabriel to recall her by. White light washes over both the physical and spectral Emilies, blinding in its radiance. The chilling breeze persists, ruthless in its raging through the empty chamber. All sense of who the blonde truly was having vanished to the winds. She has no lungs. No flesh with which to breathe, no vocal cords to carry her voice. Yet, Emilie Agreste takes one final look at her encapsulated body, gingerly places her ethereal hand on the glass, and screams.

[jjinpang]

WAAAAAHAIIIIIIIIII do you look up at the lonely skies

WAHAAAAAAAAÀÁAAAAAAAAI

[octo-brushes]

U would not believe ur eyes . If 10 million glowflies-

[toksichno]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm even real tbh

[unknowngirlyy]

You know it’s getting bad when you break being clean from sh

[ilikemytittieswithmilk]

Me after realizing that I just waste my time making art for people who don't even care:

[cozycass]

Makin fanum tax super skibidi call it a dubby huge

[n4tural1]

Fucking how do people stay sane when voice training. I love voice acting, but the second I try to do a voice that I am thinking of in my head, that I can't recreate immediately, it becomes a slippery slope.

I am losing my mental stability trying to do the girl voice.

And it's all because I got back into vrchat.

I losing myself.

[chaotic-pringles]

Fellow human: Do you even have any sanity left?

Me: Pfft! Uh, yeah! I have some right here—what the hell? Oh, shit!! Where’d all my sanity go?!?

[kingdiamond1]

Mv! Knighttale chapter 3 part 1

Well this is it.....7 hands now all I need is.......

* 1.5 years later *

NYEH HEH HEH, WE HAVE NOT SEEN HIM IN A LONG TIME

Hey I have a question Papyrus?

WHAT OF IT?

If he created us shouldn't we call him you know Creator or Father?

NYEH I THINK WE SHOULD

I am back

Why were you gone for so long?

I was gone for some hours

But you have been gone to somewhere else fast lately

It does not, matter....just.....just umm 😳.....just * faints *

WHY AGAIN?

* 5 hours later *

Your up

What...happened

You fainted

Again

Why are you keep fainting scary?

It does not.....matter am just really on edge

I think you might want to go to somewhere else Sans and Papyrus

It's not important

Say your name

My name is Gaster... W. D.....G.....Ga.....st......er

You can't even say your name right

I can....it's none of your concern

How? Your hiding something from me

Just go away

What's the things under your shirt?

NOTH....THiNG

* Tears Gaster shirt off * It is something

It's nothing

What are these, we promised that we wouldn't get any human souls

IT'S NOTHInG

How did you get this, why would you? WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL?

I had to I am tyring to help the kingdom-

You killed Humans.....WHY? This wasn't the true thing to do, why would you kill them?

I....needed to help the Kingdom

Tell me something you must of killed 7 human souls, so what is it that you plan now?

You may use it for-

* Slaps Gaster very hard * What are the ages?

.....9,7,5,6,5,8 and 3-

* Slaps Gaster very hard * You killed innocent kids?

Can you just understand? This is for the Kingdom with the power of 7 human souls, you just need Asgore to become a-

God?

Don't you see didn't I....I do a lot for you and the Kingdom

Meh...... * looks disappointed *

All we need is to be ready, so why don't you feel happy.....heh?

The Alliance

What?

The Alliance between Monsters and Humans don't you remember that?

There Humans, your a idiot if you believe a word

We made a truce, how do you think they react now?

Don't you see the power of a God is powerful

If they figure this out.....then don't you have any idea what will happen to all kinds?

What?

If a Human has enough Determination it is able to defeat a God

What?

And if not think of innocent lives I would take? There are millions of Humans and only thousands of us

.....

I won't take the human souls, because I don't know what type of being you became

.....No

That's final

.....No I won't let this happen

What?

I must bring the souls to me then

No

Heh * Sommons the 7 souls and hands * I shall become a God

.....No * Uses his attack called 1000 bring *

What have you done * The souls become a part of the 7 hands *

Now the souls are a part you are a Monster but only with the 7 you know in your hands and * Uses all his power in one blow * I must give some sense to you

What I just have one hp now, but why?

Let's go now

......

Wow....wait what's happening to the souls...why do I feel....pain?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Why can't I control the souls now? It won't let me use them....huh

The people.....so when he tore the souls into tiny pieces and made them go in my hands they are now alive again....heh....I feel they're cries..........I can't use it without them allowing it......it's a failure.....I have no control over them now.....I did all this for nothing :(

[keferon]

I. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I’m okay I’m fine I’m okay I’m fine I’m oka

The fic I'm illustrating and losing my mind about 👉 Mistakes on mistakes until

[alettelives]

i am literally psychotic

i feel like im not getting better anymore, im either becoming a more functunial addict or im really slipping and not reallizing any more and i do feel pretty self aware. but maybe i am getting better?? ive been able to hold myself right over that deep end before everything gets real bad. my room really measurers it like by how dirty it is, normally i would rot and rot and rot and my room would rot with me but recently ive had higher standards for myself, i wont lie just before i clean it everytime it is borederline unliveable, becsause my room will be dirty asf and then ill go on a rampage looking for something and ill make it 100x worse and so hard to clean. i dont know it feels like too okay almost?? but i still have my outbursts but where has my anger gone??? i want it back i dont wanna change ever i will be this way forever and i can feel myself slipping into nothingness im losing it all even the bad parts im literally becoming no one and nothing?? where has my crazy gone ?? my niceness?? my funny?? i dont know what to do i literally dont know anymore i need it to get bad again because whatever the fuck this is i cannot do it it dosent feel right its uneasy. i have never felt the need to have morals or standards or niceness or happyness for myself in the last 6 years or even longer like its too fucking weird. well anyway theres no way i can be fully nothing because the drugs are here to keep me sane and keep me form slipping, or make me un aware that its happening. i dont care either way i just dont like this.

[userarmyhope]

JUNGKOOK GCF in Budapest

[hughmanbean]

Loving Threats

Inspired by a song and its remake. But I am trash at syncing lyrics to storybeats.

Danny and Jason met in the ghost zone when Jason was dead, but he forgot it all coming back to life. When the two of them were together, they went through the entire song and dance (literally) of asking each other out.

I'm serious. There were like 10 different musical scenes with varying themes. It was Fenton Romance at its finest. And Jason's old school romance heart was certainly played a large part too.

It was their love language. Dramatic acts, vague threats and all.

Post revival and reconnection with the Batfam, Jason spots a familiar face. A flood of memories wash through him, and with it a bout of giddiness. Though he's currently dressed as Red Hood, Danny'll be able to tell who he is and keep quiet. Just have to greet him in a way that he'll recognize.

---

Danny is out taking the kids for a walk. Dan was grumpy since he wasn't allowed any ecto chips, for both his health and as punishment for severely beating a guy who tried to mug Danny without permission yesterday. Ellie is quite cheerful, since she's going to visit the Crocodile and Zombie sewer-dudes when Danny's not looking.

All of a sudden, Red Hood, casually wielding a gun, approaches Danny. He makes an overly familiar gesture, wrapping an arm sideways around Danny's waist. He whistles under the hood, a faint green glow from the white eyespaces.

"Well who do we have here? You look half dead, honey."

Danny looked at him. Horrible pick up line? Check? Thin veneer of confidence? Check. Zero self control around Danny? Check.

Jason. The rancid ecto signature is new, though. Honestly, not surprised he's a crime lord now.

"Well, you know how it is. The kids have been running me ragged. And you sure haven't been any help."

Danny puts on an innocent smile. Jason sidles closer. A few bystanders watch them with varied expressions.

"Well you don't need to worry about that now. How about you and I go somewhere more private?"

---

"A crime boss, huh?"

Dan is raiding the fridge. Ellie is watching a fight on TV.

"It was a... necessary step. I promise I would've visited you sooner if I had known."

"It's fine. What else happened while you were gone?"

"Well..."

[carriecorzetti]

finally replaying deltarune,, have Kris lightnerd