#losing my mind over a pretty villain as i always do

[song-of-amethyst]

TIL in Mindt/Arcanette's Japanese profile, if you read the leftmost column's characters from top to bottom it spells out 全てうそ (it's all a lie)

iugsdhmjiqf god i love her

[reveluving]

you know what I just thought of? Shy wife is used to going to neighbour cookouts and gatherings alone since Graves is often away. She gets hit on quite a bit but always reminds everyone she’s very happily married (I mean haven’t they seen the rock on her finger?)

Then one day she finally shows up with Phil at one of those gatherings and he’s so confident his relationship with her, he can’t help but laugh at those guys cause he knows she only has eyes for him 😌 (he prolly proceeds to fuck her within an inch of her life lbr)

Also completely unrelated but shy wife getting a tiny discreet tattoo of his initials or their last name, and he discovers it while fucking her after getting back from a mission

-🍬

*Rubbing my hands together like a villain* I kicked my feet in the air the second I received this!!! You, my dearest, are a MASTERMIND 🙏🏼😩

Includes: brief smut at the end (minors DNI!), petnames (‘sweetheart’, ‘pretty girl’), mentions of possessive!phil, you get a lil’ tatt for him, slight humour & loads of fluff!

COD x shy!wife thots closed! Thank you, everyone, for your time & amazing minds! I sincerely hope I can do this again with y'all soon! 💌

Come & check out my COD m.list!

Whether you’d like to imagine it while you’re Phil’s wife or fiancée, I’d like to imagine the latter more, since engagement rings tend to look more upscale than wedding bands. So imagine the immediate (but not enough) sting one would feel as soon as they boldly come up to you, hoping for a chance. It’s impossible not to acknowledge the large diamond cut around your finger, twinkling even at the smallest movements. 

It usually drives them away, but you’ll also have insistent ones, keen on making you sway while they nurse their injured pride to health.

Or even when married, no doubt Phil gets you the most out-there-looking band—why should he settle for less for any occasion, after all?

For Phil, he’d rather be caught dead in a ditch than potentially lose his actual ring on the battlefield. It’s why he has a silicone wedding band instead, personally chosen by you, thus why it’s almost as special as his main one. While he’d rather not potentially let a single scratch on his actual band, he still wants a part of you with him. Remind him of the memories you’ve made and will make every time he comes home. 

But on the other hand, it’s a possession thing.

Phil’s confidence in your relationship is just as massive as him carrying himself to the world, so the ring is more of a warning, as mentioned before, to those thinking they’d even have a grain of chance with you. He knows people take advantage of beautiful sweethearts like you because as soon as you give them a crumb of attention, you can only hope someone saves you from their infernal yapping.

The best part about it, to Phil, is that you don’t mind feeding his ego, just as he lives for them like a dog showering in its owner’s praises, because you know he achieves them all, be it his work or otherwise. But God knows if the men flirting with you were being truthful about the little stories they’ve conjured up to impress you.

Plus, you prefer Phil’s attention over theirs, absolutely no competition.

Especially when Phil finds the time (read: makes sure) to attend these cookouts.

Even if he doesn’t frequent to them as much as you do, he’s a household name. Literally. The hosts of the cookouts, Rick and his wife greet you like you’ve known each other for years; the same pair who’d save you from your demise each time they’d realize you were dragged into a one-sided or possibly uncomfortable conversation.

Phil is rare to be seen without you by his side, and none of you minded. A symbiotic system as Phil gets to flaunt you to all the desperate guys out there while playing guard dog. With unamused looks and sharp glares or even condescending smiles when they realize that he is the infamous Phillip Graves you and the hosts have been talking about. Somehow he knows which of them to send his warnings to, even if you’ve never given him their description.

"I did promise the missus I'd come one day." Phil joked with the group when Rick and his wife teased him for finally coming over, pulling you close to his side because he knew they were watching. You didn't, well, couldn't (not that you wanted to very much) spare even a second for them when your husband naturally had your attention.

And you get to seek comfort from him. Plus, it’s ten times fun with each other in these gatherings. Good food, good conversation and best of all, good company.

Now, tattoos. Ah, tattoos.

I imagine you’ve been considering one for a while and without his knowledge. Only because you know he’d be nosey enough to be able to draw an answer out of you. It takes a bit of time though, largely due to the commitment of it. You want one, of course, but to have one, you’ll want one that’s truly meaningful.

Should it be Graves or just G? Or should you opt for P.G. instead? What font would you want, how big would it be and where?

Even when you’ve finalised your answers, there’s a lingering bit of fear that it won’t be to your or his liking. But you’ve known the man long enough to know that so long that your heart belonged to him, cherished and cared for, you knew his heart will always belong to you too.

A small, single ‘G’ tattooed on your wrist in a flourish font. I initially thought of a finger tattoo but I heard not many artists recommend it, but that's beside the point! 

Just imagine him coming home after a tough time at work, pent-up until he has his wife underneath him. He only notices the ink on your wrist as his fingers interlock with yours. He slows his thrusts, but not he's stopping either.

If anything it reaches deeper into you when he realizes what the tattoo indicates.

“Pretty girl,” He purrs, pinning your wrist to brush his lips along the semi-sensitive spot. There's something about the way he carefully presses his lips to your pulse, only for his eyes to flit to your glassy ones with such danger. Such passion.

Such… eagerness.

“Didn't tell me y‘had a surprise.” The way surged his hips forward rather suddenly, looking down at you with half-lidded eyes and a petulant pout had your lips parting, letting out a shaky moan even before you could protest. 

“I–I wanted to…” You whined, silently begging him not to stop with your feet against his back, even if it fogged your mind from thinking straight, from making sense as you spoke, “I had it… L–Last month...” 

It has Phil feel some type of way—the best way, that is. If seeing his love handling her wedding ring with much care doesn't make him go crazy already, then this definitely would. Be prepared to have your hands pinned, be it to the bed, the wall, in the shower, wherever, whenever, so long they—both the tattoo and the ring, face him for a little while.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

[kaorucup]

speculating about the season 3 peepers villain arc

lately I've been thinking about season 3 again and I wanna cope with the fact it won't happen soon, so I want to talk about one of its concepts

(IT'S GONNA HAPPEN MAN, JUST WAIT UNTIL NEW PPG PROJECT AND THE NEW FOSTER'S HOME ARE ACTUALLY DONE)

something that's always piqued my interest was the mention of "peepers being tempted by the darker side" in official season 3 posts. (you know which, we've seen them all). it's not the only one there that interested me, but some concepts like the three new villains due for season 3 were actually deconfirmed by Craig himself in a Twitter q&a, and instead said it would be an existing character.

(I think. I'm not sure about that one)

see, things like that always change when everything is actually in production. I actually wanna make an entirely different post dedicated to the main antagonist and/or conflict because there's a lot of stuff to discuss there. but something that I truly think WILL make it into season 3 will be peepers' villain arc. I think there's a chance they could build off what's already in the show to lead up to this arc.

a quick recap of his attitude towards hater

in season 1, it's clear peepers tended to stay on hater's good side, since he still (somewhat) respected hater's actions in a way since he's been with him for so long + he only followed hater's goal of destroying wander and sylvia since they were their ONLY obstacle in their goal to rule the galaxy

I used this frame specifically because it's one of the only times he scolds hater in season 1 (maybe the only time, I forgot), and even then he's still scared to do so since hater even threatens him after this

and as we all know, by the end of season 1 and season 2 in general, he scolds hater A LOT more often because dominator's arrival spelled doom for the entire galaxy, even the villains. even before that, it was clear hater's obsession with wander was damaging the reputation of the empire, and hell other villains were even beating him on the leaderboard. by the greater hater, he's reduced to the 29th greatest. and now if you add hater's failure to initially properly focus on restoring his control over planets to putting his obsessions (wander in the beginning, dominator by the end) at priority equals one very pissed peepers.

in this particular frame, we all know this is a big moment in which peepers loses it and truly gets mad at hater for losing complete focus.

so when he finally locks in during the season finale it shocks peepers so much it moves him to literal tears. this man has been disappointed so much this season that this final move has made him truly happy. from my fair hatey to this episode, hater's ultimate goal is to save the galaxy to be able to conquer it again. so when that goal is accomplished he finally goes back to doing evil and attempts to conquer the secret final planet, peepers is literally so happy he has a heart eye. (not even close to being straight)

of course he's disappointed once more when hater begins to chase wander again.

"nothing ever changes."

2. peepers has greater plans for himself

"the universe will be mine!"

"if you ask me, I should be the one in charge."

I'm pretty sure I'm missing more moments where he shows an interest in becoming a great villain on his own. in general, it's made very clear that peepers is much more competent than hater. hell even evil sandwich has described him as a "smart guy who actually knows what evil is all about."

3. I FINALLY SPECULATE ABOUT THE VILLAIN ARC

So with all that background information out of the way, we reach the actual speculation.

these Tumblr posts by Frank Angones about season 3 are what got me to write this post. with this info in mind, I have a little scenario to share here

at the beginning of season 3, Hater would become a hero to the galaxy (following up from the ending to the end of the galaxy), and even though he tried conquering planets, he wound up either not conquering them or doing good deeds instead, to his own—and peepers'—dismay. again, taking the end of the galaxy's ending in mind, he clearly intended to conquer the new galaxy. however, it's clear he's definitely not as willing to do so and admits to peepers at one point that he tends to think about not being a bad guy. this of course breaks peepers' heart (yeah in that way too), and in a fit of rage leaves the empire.

he escapes to somewhere (idk where) and from there the antagonist(s) of season 3 either pick him up or kidnap him. from there they show peepers their ways and begin tempting him to join them.

from there more new scenarios can be made, depending on their motivation. Frank Angones has also stated that "there are worse fates than galactic destruction". in a future post about the season 3 antagonist(s), I'll explain more about what this could mean. since the post only says he could be tempted, we don't know if he would actually temporarily switch to their side.

if peepers joins an antagonist: he likely takes in their ideologies and hater (?) may have to remind him of his evil ways or something

if peepers declines: he realizes who he is to the hater empire and makes a move against the antagonist

secret options: the darker side is actually an actual villain (the antagonist(s) aren't "villains" like hater and dominator)

the scenarios are similar but I'll share them

if peepers joins them: he uses his knowledge and evil traits to the max to begin committing atrocities and stuff like that. hater and/or wander has to do something about it

if peepers declines: he realizes the villain is insane and goes back to hater (very, very, very small chance for a redemption, but maybe it will because wander can help him or something)

(I'm iffy on this one)

4. one final piece of speculation related to his backstory

when writing this post, I made two and two and found out something.

I don't tend to trust fandom wikis that much, but since the information seems to be accurate and aligns with what Frank is saying, I think all this implies the watchdogs mock peepers a LOT for being the shortest watchdog. what's also slightly implied is that his napoleon complex (in which he happens to be insecure about his height, which has been shown quite a bit in the series itself. "you are tall" being part of his motivational tapes, wander raises his soles to give him a sense of growth, the platform boots as a gift).

so if this is a big part of his origin story, I assume that way before he joined the hater empire with the other watchdogs, peepers was mocked for being the shortest. so when he and the watchdogs pledge allegiance to the empire, he "feels like he has something to prove", and begins from the bottom like most of the watchdogs until he's done so many evil things that hater notices him and promotes him to commander.

so now with that in mind, it makes sense why peepers would lose his mind over hater potentially giving up evil after pretty much devoting himself to evil for so long

once again, I yapped what I needed to yap and I'm satisfied

oh my god I spent like almost 3 hours researching and writing for this dear GROP

Edit: now that I think about it the way he said the line about the watchdogs feeling special and important in their interviews was actually kind of spiteful, which makes sense (poor guy wants to feel like that more often.....)

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Married hero x villain

When villain just comes to hero’s rescue right after they’ve been severely tortured by supervillain (or superhero, whichever one is fine), and hero breaks down bc they lost their wedding ring during the fight and villain is like “baby that ring is nothing compared to your own life and safety, plus I can always buy you a new one.”

“Fuck, your stats are horrible,” the villain noticed. They still stared at the calibrations their little device offered, refusing to believe that the hero was in such a bad condition and still conscious.

Then again, the hero wasn’t quite human.

“I’m so sorry,” the hero whispered. The tears wouldn’t stop and the villain’s heart splintered with every drop.

“It’s not your fault,” the villain said. They tried to be rational, to shut off their emotions and concentrate on the hero instead of their anger. The villain knew they would take care of the supervillain later and they knew it wouldn’t be pretty. Carefully, they wiped the tears and blood from the hero’s face. “You’re safe now.”

“I can’t really breathe,” the hero said.

“I know, your left lung collapsed.”

“Has that ever happened before?” the hero asked. The villain could tell they were in immense pain but refused to show it.

“Yeah, a few months ago. It wasn’t this bad, though. Now, come here.” The villain pulled up their spouse but they noticed too late the hero’s ankles were broken. The hero moaned — nearly screamed — and the villain picked them up immediately, just like on their wedding day.

The fabric of the villain’s suit twisted in the hero’s hand.

“Shit, I scanned you all over, how did I miss this…?”

“Scan probably crashed. Happened to me when I tried to scan a dead person. Too much info. They really messed me up this time,” the hero whispered. The villain felt them shake in their arms, felt blood soaking through their own suit.

“Hey, it’s okay,” the villain said. They tried not to hold their spouse too close. They didn’t want to cause any more harm.

But despite the villain’s plan, they felt their own sanity slipping away. They had to swallow a sour taste in their mouth, had to blink away tears.

The villain needed to be strong for their hero but deep down, they knew how this was breaking them. How all of this was made to break them. Stealing their spouse in the middle of the night, torturing them, hiding them, playing with them; all of it happened because the supervillain wanted to toy with them.

Panic was an old companion and the villain was sure they would meet them soon enough. And if that happened, panic would beat the living shit out of them.

“Let’s go home,” the villain said, their voice shaking.

“Honey, I need to tell you something,” the hero said and the villain held onto them a little tighter, protective and worried. Their spouse was doing pretty well for nearly dying. No doubt, their superpowers made them harder to kill, but the hero was dangerously good at pretending they were fine.

The villain risked a look down at them in their arms and there were even more tears on the hero’s cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” they sobbed and the villain had a million horrible suspicions running through their mind. What had happened to their hero? What had they done to them? The villain was losing it, was going to murder the supervillain with their own hands. “They took my ring.”

The hero’s tears wouldn’t stop, in fact everything got worse. The villain could tell they tried to swallow their tears. But their lips trembled and their eyes were red.

“Honestly? I’m just glad you’re alright.” One crack, then two. The villain’s voice gave up and so did the villain. They let the little wall in their mind crumble completely and let emotions take over. Everything broke down and the tears followed. They held the hero close, shaking.

Likewise, the hero stopped pretending and let the tears fall.

It was a curse. Pretending to be alright, so you wouldn’t worry your significant other. The villain hadn’t planned this but they couldn’t help it. Maybe the hero was the only person they could be their rawest self with. Maybe the hero was the only person who truly, deeply knew them.

Someone who had seen all the ugly parts, all the disgusting parts, all the faults and mistakes, all the imperfections and unpleasantries. Someone who, despite all, stayed.

“Oh god, my love,” the villain sobbed between tears, “god, I thought you were gone.”

“You’re not mad?” the hero asked and the villain shook their head, lost in complete despair. They needed a second to gather themselves.

“It’s just a ring,” the villain whispered. The hero wiped tears off the villain’s cheeks and the villain had to smile softly. “Marriage is so much more than one ring. All I ask for is your safety.”

The hero leaned their head against the villain’s chest. They seemed calmer as their fingers went over the villain’s forearm.

“I can always buy you a new one,” the villain promised. “But first, we have to get out of here.”

For the next few months, the villain didn’t let the healing hero out of their sight.

[cannedwyrms]

Spoilers for Shadow of the Erdtree but...

I'm gonna talk a bit about Miquella.

So, I've seen a lot of (what I believe to be) misconceptions about what we learn about his character in SOTE. I'd like to clear them up as best I can, although I'm no expert at the lore. Still, I think a lot of people are quick to discard him as an irredeemable villain too quickly, or believe that his character in the dlc is different from how he was presented in the base game.

Now, in the base game, I too thought Miquella was pretty cool. He had the rare honor of being one of like 3 characters to not be racist, he seemed to actually care for his sister and have a good relationship with his brother, and he just seemed like the only demigod with some kind of basic empathy.

However, while I believe all of those things are true, there were signs that there was something deeper going on.

Take the bewitching branch, for example.

It's description goes like this:

"The Empyrean Miquella is loved by many people. Indeed, he has learned very well how to compel such affection."

So, basically, we already knew he could charm people.

Here, I think, is the first misconception. Miquella does not brainwash or mind control people, he just has the ability to make people like him. "He wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men," as the honorable sir Ansbach says.

Shrive, by the way, means to confess, or in this case I think absolve.

So, while Mogh is absolutely the victim, it should be noted that he didn't abandon his original goal. He just factored Miquella into it. His plan went from "rule my dynasty" to "rule my dynasty with Miquella." Still bad, I want to stress, but I think people believe that Miquella can just turn people into mindless slaves or something. All he can do is make you love him and see his point of view.

Next, let's talk about him and Malenia. In the base game, he seemed to really care for her, going as far as leaving the Golden Order when he learned it wouldn't help her.

Now, though, people believe he actually never cared about her at all and even that she was brainwashed into following him.

For this, I'll actually quote Miquella's dialogue in the Consort Radahn fight. (We'll get to him, don't worry)

"My loyal blade, and champion of the festival. Both your deeds will ever be praised in song."

So, when he says "my loyal blade," he's talking about Malenia, right? You know, Malenia, the blade of Miquella.

It's obvious to me that Miquella did care about his sister. His actions in the base game reflect this, and he's the same guy in the dlc, so of course he'd still care about her.

I suppose he could also be talking about Leda here, but what I got from her arc is that she was always doomed by her own bloodlust to be a failure to her cause. In the end, she never truly understood Miquella, and he probably never even knew she existed.

But I'll save all that for another post.

Point is, Miquella definitely cared a lot about his sister, so much so in fact that, in the moment he was so close to achieving his goals, he praised her accomplishments.

But, there's more to his dialogue, which I will use to clear up yet another misconception.

Miquella also praised the tarnished here. "Champion of the Festival," and all that.

This is because Miquella doesn't hate anyone. He doesn't want to fight us. Consider his instant lose move, where he charms you. To me, this reads as Miquella looking for a peaceful outcome to your conflict. What does he say to you?

"I promise you a thousand year voyage guided by compassion."

And

"Lord of the Old Order, let us go together."

It's clear to me that he's trying for a peaceful solution.

See, I think a lot of people have begun to believe that Miquella is some kind of compassionless robot, but, as always with elden ring characters, it's more complex than that.

Miquella obviously has a lot of empathy for the world. Maybe even too much. Instead of him wanting to rule over everything as some kind of God, he simply wants to make the world a kinder place.

Like Marika, he sought godhood not for personal power, but for a cause. But, as we all know by now, to become a god in Elden Ring is to abandon your humanity.

Miquella literally does this, while I think for Marika it's a bit more metaphorical.

Elden Ring is about how people lose themselves in pursuit of their goals, and this is especially true in SOTE.

So, with that framework, Miquella is actually the obvious choice for the main antagonist of the dlc.

Think about it.

What better antagonist could there be for a game about purpose and cause being twisted than a highly compassionate person who became a monster? It's almost painfully on the nose. (In a good way)

Miquella might even be aware that he's done awful things, but as long as it's in service of a better future, he probably sees it as a necessary evil. Still evil, mind you, but necessary.

Normally, I'd just say that if he worked on making everyone be less being racist and mean, then no one would need necessary evil, but Elden Ring avoids this because, at the time out tarnished arrives back at the lands between, racism is literally a law of reality.

It seems like the only way to change that would be for a new god to write new rules.

I don't know, that's all mostly speculation on my part, but whatever. My point is, Miquella absolutely makes sense as the main antagonist of the dlc, but he is notably not the main antagonist of the base game, nor the story at large.

Personally, I'd argue those titles fall to Morgott and Marika respectively, but I digress.

Miquella is just one link in a long chain of people fighting for a cause they believe in. Really, his actions are no worse than Ranni's, but strangely no one is really as upset about the fact that she literally had Godwin murdered to attain her goals as they are with Miquella doing the same thing to Mogh.

Something interesting that I noticed is that Miquella is actually very similar to Messmer. Whether that was intentional or not is not for me to say, but I do think it's interesting that the oldest demigod and the youngest have a lot in common.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm no Messmer lore expert , but, for example, Messmer is often described as being very compassionate and nice, only taking on the burden of being the face of the hornsent genocide to spare his mother that shame. It's an interesting contradiction, to be sure, and one that is quite similar to how Miquella sheds his humanity to make a brighter future.

Perhaps Messmer is meant, in part, to mirror Miquella to make his seemingly "villainous" turn make more sense.

Again, maybe that's just speculation on my part, but what's important is that Elden Ring stresses again and again that there is no such thing as pure evil. Everyone's a victim in some way.

All that to say, I don't think Miquella is out of character in the dlc. I think everything we learn about him is perfectly in line with his portrayal in the base game.

Alright, it's finally time to talk about the big guy with a little horse.

So, I've seen a lot of people say that Radahn was charmed and used by Miquella, or that Miquella only saw him as a tool, but I really don't think that's true.

Let's take a look at some more of Miquella's dialogue.

"Aspiring Lord of the Old Order. If you have known sin, if you grieve for this world, then yeild the path forward to us. To I, Miquella, and my Promised Consort, Radahn."

Now, I don't know about you, but of Miquella only saw Radahn as a tool, then what's with all the "Yeild the path forward to us," and "To I, Miquella, and my Promised Consort, Radahn."

If he really viewed Radahn as just a means to an end, then why specify the both of them, unless Radahn was always in on Miq's plot?

Also, if Miquella really only wanted a big guy to ride around on and fight for him, why go through all the trouble of making Radahn a promise? Why not just bewitch him from the start and just force him to follow you?

I don't know why Radahn and Malenia fought. Maybe that was part of the vow, if Miquella could grant Radahn a warrior's death, then he'd follow him, or something like that. So maybe my theory isn't totally sound, but I do still think it's just as plausible as the bewitched theory, if not more.

Another thing I've heard people say as evidence of the bewitched theory is that Radahn wouldn't have gone along with it because Leonard wouldn't be with him.

But, like, you guys, that horse is dead. You killed it in your fight with Radahn in the base game. And Radahn is obsessed with warrior's deaths and all that. He probably saw that Leonard was dead, mourned him silently, and even resolved to take take revenge on the one who killed him, which, again, is you.

And, as a side note, Starscourge Radahn did not treat Leonard with any amount of respect. Did we even see the same attack animations. He was pushing him into the ground, standing on him, and definitely not feeding him. Leonard was described as scrawny, but when we see him, he's downright skeletal. And of course Radahn wasn't taking care of him. He was a literal zombie.

So, I don't think Radahn was bewitched. I think he willingly went with Miquella, once his soul was put into Mogh's body.

Miquella, at his core, is compassion without understanding. He feels for the plight of the world and its inhabitants without having the context necessary to understand why they are suffering. It's a very childish outlook, reflected in his design and curse, his outward childlike form representing his nieve understanding of the world.

That's why he can only see godhood as the solution to the suffering. Because it's all he knows. He was an empearyan, after all.

Of course, if he was a little more emotionally intelligent, he'd realize that abandoning everything that made him who he was is a bad thing, but he's not. He can't see past his own status, not in an arrogant way, it's more like he just doesn't know or understand there's an alternative.

He's that theme I mentioned earlier, the pursuit of goals turning you into a monster, personified. I mean he literally leaves his humanity behind. Can't get much more obvious than that.

Well, that's everything I have on Miquella, at least for now. I've just seen so many "Miquella is actually super evil" type posts and videos, and just a general increase in Miquella hate, which maybe is to be expected, but I still think a lot of people missed the point.

If course, everything I've said is subjective, and if Miquella being evil is what makes you like the character, then more power to you.

But if you, like, actively hate Miquella or misunderstand what we're presented in game, then I don't know. I can't stop you, I guess, but maybe I've managed to change your mind. I think the fun of lore hunting in this game is that everyone kinda has their own version of events, it's almost like we're historians debating ancient history. Idk, I just find that cool, so if your interpretation differs from mine, I think that's fine. Just don't be an ass about it, basically.

Tl;dr: if you took a shot every time I started a thought with "now" or "so," you'd be dead.

Okay, that's all, bye.

A brief adendum to this post:

So I've done a bit more thinking, and somehow completely forgot about the fact that Miquella appeared in Caelid after Malenia bloomed, to help the wounded.

This does, at first blush, come off as quite the dick move on Miquella's part, as he didn't think to help his sister, but I do have some thoughts and speculations.

What if he couldn't? Like, he's a small guy, it's not like he could've carried her all the way back himself. Maybe he trusted Finlay (Malenia's gf, it's canon) enough to let her do it. I mean, I guess it depends on how he got to Caelid in the first place, but like how does anyone in this game get anywhere?

No one uses ships as far as I'm aware, and the only transportation we see is like horse or giant drawn carriages, which are already pretty slow. Maybe Finlay asked to carry her back. Maybe Miquella could have used Torrent, but idk. This is all just speculation on my end.

Anyway, I also think this points to my earlier speculation about Miquella's character thematically. He saw only the wounded he needed to help, but ignored the one closest to him in the process. This interpretation lends itself very well to the idea of his childlike, naive ideas of compassion.

Okay, that's really it this time. I'll probably talk about Leda and the others next.

Bye

[dissociation-station123]

Nanami Kento X Reader

Smut Warning but also pretty sweet because well it is a Kento One shot 🥹

You had a sense of guilt as you looked around the room. You had no excuses for why it was a mess. You had not moved from your spot on the couch except to shower and brush your teeth. Physically you should have enough energy but your mind keeps making you feel exhausted.

There was a conversation occurring on your television but at this point it was merely background noise. You refuse to let yourself doom scroll on Tik Tok for another hour. So you were just staring off into space.

You are brought back to reality when you hear the door open. A sense of dread washes over you. The familiar feeling that you are a horrible person for not being productive with your time off.

“Y/N…” You hear him call out to you and you jump up to try and straighten anything within arms length. “No dinner cooked?” You hear him say as you reach to toss the blanket over the back of the couch.

Your entire being freezes. No… No… Not now… Against your will you are once again pulled into your mind. Your brain forces you to relive your own memories. Where those who claimed to love you berated and insulted you. Lazy… Useless…

Suddenly strong arms wrap you up from behind. “You know I just want to make sure you eat my love…” Words of true comfort greet you. You know this man. Nanami Kento was always gentle and kind. A soft kiss to the back of your head immediately warms your entire being.

“I did have something I promise.” You say and turn to face him. A soft smile forms but when you look into his eyes you see something else. “Rough day?” You ask, concealing a smirk.

You feel him inhale you in and let out a breath. His entire body tense against your own. “It was.” He whispers his hands now digging into your hips.

You smile widely knowing exactly what he needs. “Kento…” You softly mutter his name and you feel his heart rate increase. “You can use me…” before you could utter a cute nickname his lips were on yours. It was a deliciously suffocating kiss. He does not hold back his desperate groans.

The logical part in you knew you should feel bad that his day was hard. You should let him relax and make him a meal. Bring him his favorite novel and warm tea.

Then his fingers lace into your hair and all rational thought quickly evaporates. You loved when he had a terrible day. Your twisted mind rejoiced at his tired expression. Because this is when your calm, sweet, and collected boyfriend loses all control.

Kento yanks your head back and a soft moan escapes your lips. You look up at him as he loosens his tie. Your gaze travels to his eyes and the exhaustion has now altered to something else. You feel your grin widen into what was probably a villainous smile.

“I ordered take out so we have about 30 min.” His voice has now lowered. Your stomach tingles in anticipation. In one quick motion he has you on your knees in front of him, fisting your hair a bit harder. You feel your body react from his rough handling.

“Open…” Kento orders and you oblige him. Leaning over you he sticks two fingers into your mouth. “Suck…” his voice falters into more of a low growl. Your tongue runs along his digits as you suck greedily. “So good…” He mumbles.

Without warning his fingers slide to the back of your throat and you instinctively swallow. “Fuck…” Hearing Kento curse was one of your many guilty pleasures. You would do anything for a fix. As you drool onto his hand you reach up to undo his belt.

Clumsily you fumble with the clasp. “You know I love you…” Kento says as you look up into his intense eyes. You nod with an aloof mischievous smile. “I find your clumsiness adorable and endearing most of the time. Right now we don’t have time and it’s utterly frustrating.” He practically spat down at you and you shiver with excitement.

“Get that dumb smirk off your face Y/N…” Kento hisses but you can’t seem to follow his demand. The degradation was an infrequent treat. He sighs at your expression and unbuttons his pants, pushing your hands away. Then his own hand wraps around your throat, you inhale a quick breath. “How disappointing that you still get so turned on by being disrespected.”

“Kento…” You try to call out but he adds pressure and instead a moan escapes, your eyes rolling back.

“I don’t have time for excuses.” He practically hisses and you bite your lower lip. His feral need for you was a comfort. He leans into you nibbling at your ear.

His other hand travels down your body. Stopping at the end of your shorts. His fingers slide past the hem and you groan as he runs two along above your panties. “Already wet for me, such a broken mess…” He whispers his breath tickles your neck seductively.

You take in a shuddering breath. “Grab my shoulders.” He orders his tone forceful yet soft. You do as you're told. “That’s my good girl.” Before you could utter a response your shorts and panties were on the ground. Kento Nanami lifted you up with ease, walking to the closest wall pressing your back against it. His eyes are dark and needy.

You moan as his grip on your waist tightens to be able to undo his pants with his other hand. You watch as his dress pants and boxes fall to the ground around his feet. His cock was already pulsating with need, precum leaked from the tip.

He was so kind that you often forgot how big he was physically. You were not small yet he made you feel that way. You are not sure how you got so lucky that a man like Kento fell for a woman like you. You merely cling to the hope he wouldn’t grow bored.

“If I hurt you let me know…” He whispers his expression growing gentler as he sees you lost in your thoughts.

“Pfft…” You giggle at the sentiment. You were so used to others fulfilling their own needs. You have grown accustomed to the pain and pleasure that comes with it. Kento growls at your dismissal.

Without another word he shoves his hard cock deep inside and your body arches. The warmth and wet sounds of your arousal makes you call out in pleasure. He grunts overcome by the sensation himself. He slowly begins to move his hands, traveling to pull apart your ass to push even further.

You push your forehead against his and he looks down at you. “It’s ok.” You mutter in an attempt to let him know he did not need to hold himself back. His reply was another seething kiss. His tongue claiming the inside of your mouth both of you fall into deep moans and heavy breathing.

With your blessing you feel his fingers dig into your fleshy cheeks and he increases his speed. “Fuck yes…” you whimper uncontrollably and this sends him reeling over the edge. All traces of his gentleman- like behavior vanishes. He pounds in and out wildly. Using you to release all his pent up aggression.

Your pussy clenches around him and your body shakes as your hit with an overwhelming orgasm. This makes him lose himself further. Your back now slams against the wall and your nails dig into his back. “Kento!” You shout his name. He was unable to speak, merely growling and groaning as he continued to fuck you with no abandonment.

Just as his phone dinged with a notification, your head was shoved back and he pushed inside you as far as possible. You feel his cock twitching as he whines riding his own release. His large hand is now laying on your lower stomach to feel where he claimed you. “I love you…” He manages to cry out and you kiss his face.

He slowly pulls out and you whimper, missing the feeling of his dick filling you to the brim. He helps you into your shorts and pulls his pants back up just as there was a knock on the door.

He lifts you up again as if you weighed nothing, sets you on the couch and kisses your forehead. You watch him saunter over to greet the delivery person. “Good evening. I appreciate you.” His calming deep voice proclaims as you hear the rustle of bags. The other person politely responds and Kento closes the door.

Studying him further he sets the food and drinks on the coffee table and takes the remote. Finding a light comedy that you all had seen a hundred times but knowing it was a comfort show for you. He begins pulling out everything and organizing each item. You had no words to express how much you cared for this man.

“Kento what in the hell did I do to deserve you?” You find yourself asking, your tone truly confused. A gentle smile greets you and his eyes look into yours filled with so much love you almost wanted to run.

“Sweetheart…” He says and it was never chastising. One word out of his lips made you truly feel cherished. “I think the same about you. You are my safe harbor when everything seems to be going wrong.” He cups your cheek and you want to cry tears of happiness. Just as you go to protest he holds up a dumpling to feed you. You gladly accept. “After we relax I want to worship you like you deserve.”

Your heart races and you can’t believe you can still feel this way. Butterflies dance in your stomach. You never thought after so many years a man would be able to make you believe in love again. But Kento Namani, a tall giant with a heart of gold and obsession with bread did just that.

[creatingblackcharacters]

For the Black characters challenge! 1. Charles Gunn from Angel, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer spin-off!

He's introduced as the leader of a group of impoverished kids defending themselves from near-constant vampire attacks. He's a brilliant leader and strategist who cares deeply about his community. His first episode has an absolutely gutting storyline where he has to kill his sister after she turned into a vampire, and he carries that guilt for the rest of the show. Sadly, Gunn gets subjected to some horrifically racist writing throughout the show's run. I really like his arc in season 5, though, after the group take over an evil law firm in the hopes of making it better. He becomes a lawyer, with the required knowledge magically zapped into his head (the writing specifically says that he already had the intelligence for it). This very much turns out to be a deal with the devil, and the rest of his arc is about remembering his roots and recognising that he has worth without his augmented knowledge.

2. Grace Monroe from Infinity Train

She's on my mind because I just watched Infinity Train for the first time, and Grace is the best character in the show imo. She's a minor antagonist in season 2, then the protagonist of season 3 where she gets a redemption arc. What I love about Grace is that even when she's a villain, she has such a gentle and kind core to her. Fundamentally, she's just trying to help people and is misguided about how to do it - but in a way that makes total sense given the information she has access to! I won't say much more because season 3 is really worth experiencing unspoiled imo, but suffice to say I love her and I love the journey she goes on.

3. Captain Benjamin Sisko from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine!

BEST CAPTAIN IN ALL OF STAR TREK (and there is some pretty steep competition)! Sisko is just a delight to watch. He starts the show grappling with the grief of losing his wife and taking care of his son Jake, to whom he is now a single dad. He's an amazing leader who's willing to bend the rules when necessary, and frequently comes into conflict with Starfleet's rigidity. He loves baseball - which is a very weird, niche interest in the far-future, because it's a historical sport that not many people know about! Due to Reasons, the planet nearest to his space station declares him a messiah figure, and while he doesn't believe this is the case Sisko does his best to respect their beliefs and fulfil this role, even when it's difficult.

And his actor, Avery Brooks, is just a stellar performer (no pun intended). Gives some of the most incredible performances and also directs what is imo the best episode of the show!

1) Charles Gunn sounds kinda raw as a character, fr. Shame that he got subjected to The Racist Writing. It's always the worst, when you can see the Black character that you KNOW is worth more get treated like trash in the writing. Bc it's like... Why would you do that. Some of us LOVED them!

2) I think I've seen exactly one video of Grace Monroe and it's her getting launched off a train lmaoo it was so salty fr. I love how her hair is drawn. It's nice to know that she's such a complex character, bc again, that bit of getting tossed off the high speed train was so disrespectful lmaoo

3) Captain Sisko for the win! Avery Brooks would be honored to know y'all hold him in such high regard. Also, Knee slap for the pun.

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Spoiler walks through the park patrolling when she sees her rival... Kite-Man. He sits on a park bench with his head down. She quickly walks past him.

Spoiler: Hi Kite-Man, bye Kite-Man.

Kite-Man, somberly: Hey.

Spoiler stops walking. She turns around.

Spoiler: That's it? No Rival or annoying me?

Kite-Man: You don't need me bothering you, I'm just a nuisance.

Spoiler sighs, regretting what she's about to do. She yanks out her communication device, turning it off. She walks over to the despondent man.

Spoiler: What's wrong?

Kite-Man: My dad sucks and hates what I do.

Spoiler: Dang it, dang it! Don't even say it, I know what that feels like.

Kite-Man, surprised: You do?

Spoiler: Yeah, shocker right? I portray myself as the boss bad ass hero, but my birth dad sucks too. He sucks worse than people who hate pumpkin spice.

Kite-Man: Oh my God, it's good isn't it?

Spoiler: Yes, especially pumpkin spice lattes.

Kite-Man: Have you ever tried pumpkin spice pie?

Spoiler: Yes, it's so good! Wait getting off track, my point is my birth dad is bad, but what has yours done to disappoint you?

Kite-Man: Well, he's a villain obviously where I got my awesomeness from, but... He doesn't respect my whole villain motif. "Kites are stupid!" he says. All you do is goon work. You married a loser who's somehow out of your league!"

Spoiler: That last one isn't true.

Kite-Man: Exactly, none of them are true, but the moment you insult my Glider is when I beat your ass. Hell no! I walked away from him after that... That woman is a gift from God and I was lucky enough to get her.

Spoiler: Aww.

Spoiler looks around to make sure no one sees her say that or talk to Kite-Man.

Kite-Man: I just wanted to make the guy proud of me, if even for a day, but guess I'm always going to be a failure to him.

Spoiler: Screw him then.

Kite-Man: What?

Spoiler: Screw him. The guy can't be supportive of your... Accomplishments, that you own a bar and scored a solid 10 then it's his lost. You own a bar and it somehow has not been shut down yet which is impressive.

Kite-Man: I have a good team.

Spoiler: There you go! And again you got a woman to say yes to marrying you and... Um... You got me as a rival.

Kite-Man: Those are all good things.

Kite-Man stands up.

Kite-Man: Yeah, I'm an awesome villain too! I'm like in the tier of Gotham's best villains!

Spoiler crosses her fingers behind her back. She couldn't believe she was about to lie to this man.

Spoiler: Yuppers.

Kite-Man: I got my Glider and I do have you too, rival. We've been through it, had our fun times, fights, the banter, the laughs.

Kite-Man places his arm around Spoiler's shoulder. The smell of peppermint old spice hits her nose making her grimace.

Spoiler: Regrettably I agree. Minus the laughs, I was slowly losing my mind. Either way, your dad shouldn't be the reason you do the things you do... You do what makes you happy, what you want to do and I am saying this to a villain, but dang it, it's your choice!

Kite-Man: Yeah!

Spoiler: So get out of here, preferably go back to your house since you're not breaking the law and keep being you!

Kite-Man: Hell yeah! Kite-Man out!

Kite-Man activates his kite, smacking Spoiler in the face and he flies off.

Kite-Man: Thanks, rival!

Spoiler rubs her nose.

Spoiler: It's what I do.

Spoiler stands up, letting out an exhausted sigh because she knew who was behind her.

Spoiler: How long you been there?

Batman: Long enough, heard it all.

Spoiler: Am I in trouble?

Spoiler turns around, but Batman simply pats her on the shoulder.

Batman: You get a pass for tonight, I'm proud of ya.

Spoiler: Aww, thanks. I'm pretty good at pep talks aren't I?

Batman: Yes, I would've punched him in the face.

Spoiler: Eh, he's harmless, evil but harmless.

[dapper-lil-arts]

Thank goodness I've found someone who can't stand Fluttercord. To be honest, I'm not too fond of Discord either. It always struck me as weird that the show seemed determined to sell him as this reformed villain who's changed for the better, and yet he's continued to do the same stuff he did as a villain. And let's not even get into the toxcity of his relationship with Fluttershy. "Keep Calm and Flutter On" is one of the worst episodes that's come out of My Little Pony! It's like this show was desperately trying to make you forget about the moral of "Griffon the Brush-Off".

yeahhhh I'm kind of in a weird place in all this because like. if the intent of the narrative was to explore that being born with cosmic power makes you unfit to wield it and an entirely unsympathetic unempathetic creature, they nailed it. Like, making this guy think hes always the smartest in the room while he's also bitter, petty, easily prone to jealousy and even controlling-- That is exactly what is correct to expect from a being of unlimited power that was born with it. In a sense, it would be clever exploration. ...But it's kind of not that, he's supposed to be one of the good guys and regularly fucks shit up on purpose for everyone, and that's just a weird attitude for the good guys to forgive. Celestia wanted him to use his powers for good, but I struggle to think of one example of him doing so. Even when the changelings took over, his powers were nullified, so he could have been replaced by an earth pony. And then the narrative goes to the thing of "He's only nice now because there's one girl thats cute and pretty that he simps for" And that is just kind of insanely fucked up?! Don't get me wrong, power imbalance can be a fantastic way to explore relationships-- But if I was Fluttershy I'd probs be terrified of having a yandere god that only listens to me because I give him attention, and the moment I decide I want relationships with other people, those people are gonna get turned into piñatas. Okay, tangeant almost over. Maybe this affected even more negatively than most because I watched a show called "Jessica Jones" Where the antagonist is an evil mind controling sadist, BUT, he has a huge crush on the protagonist, and she realises that if she were to sacrifice her own life to be with him, she could essentially trick him, if not convince him to use his insanely powerful powers of coercion to change the world for the better. ...And that's just horrific. Sacrificing your life to be the object of affection of a powerful being just because they might do good things with your presence, not out of their own volition. But hey, that's all subtext, the MLP text is generally lighthearted. (nevermind the finale in which discord literally endangers equestria for shits and giggles, and nevermind the fact that gen 5 proved that without fluttershy Discord would lose his shit and do deranged things to the whole world)

The voice acting is great, the character conceptually is great, but goddamn, why did they think that he's more worth redemption than the literal child? #cozyglowdeservedbetterfromthewriters

[utilitycaster]

Hey, so can you explain to me the difference between the gods taking down Aeor and Ludinus destroying Molaesmyr? I’ve read some pro-Ludinus takes and, at least the ones I’ve read, seem to forget Molaesmyr. I feel like Ludinus and the gods did the same thing but for different reasons. The gods wanted to save themselves and at the same time (maybe I read it wrong) tried to find other ways to take down The Factorum Malleus with minimal casualties. Ludinus, according to his notes in episode 58 of c3 hoped “a channel of consciousness could be opened and perhaps whatever is seeking his attention from the red moon can bring clarity and purpose.” But that didn’t happen. He caused poisonous fumes, miasma, to happen and it killed a lot of people. A lot of people who are pro-Ludinus (at least the ones I’ve read) always bring up the innocents of Aeor and how awful it it that they died because of the gods actions, but what about the innocents in Molaesmyr? The ones Ludinus killed? They both brought down citys. So, what’s the difference? I could totally be wrong, but every time I read Ludinus lovers takes I feel like I lose brain cells.

Hi anon,

I can't say I've avoided ascribing intent to other fans in the past, nor that I don't at times speculate (see: the Laudna ask from last night) but I cannot answer the question of why other people might gloss over Ludinus's destruction of Molaesmyr. I think it's fair to say these are very different situations in terms of intent of the destroyers, number of survivors, innocence and intent of the city itself, and lasting effects; I personally would say "Ludinus Da'leth has no moral high ground re: destroying a city," but some people wouldn't. You would have to ask them.

I did want to use this opportunity, however, to sort of explore my sticking point re: people in favor of Ludinus because what gets me in the end is I can't find any like...narrative or moral throughline. I don't think I've seen anyone at this point say that he's right, is the problem; the people who are in his favor still have him joining Bells Hells as a redemption arc.

I find a lot of the fans of Ludinus believe that the gods should leave. They downplay the threat of Predathos and the vast harm Ludinus himself has done; wildly overstate the harm done to Ruidusborn (and ignore that a lot of the contemporaneous harm towards Ruidusborn is specifically directed at the Vanguard, a cultish army), and make unsupported assumptions regarding the positions of the gods re: Laudna; they overstate the power of Vasselheim; and generally have either a tenuous grasp on the lore or a shameless willingness to fabricate support for their claims. However, outside of the occasional banal "idk maybe it would be interesting if a god got eaten!" post, pretty much everyone stops short of actually fully siding with him.

This, to be clear, is good, because he really has been an architect of such war and destruction and abuses of power within Exandria over the past several centuries that it's fairly unconscionable to do so. The thing is, this leaves us with an interesting conundrum: how does the campaign end? Does Ludinus just. step down? Does he start killing the Vanguard? Does he undo the harm he's done to the weave of magic? What happens to the Weave Mind? Do they become the enemy? If your clear and present BBEG just flips sides, and his larger goal is one you think is kind of okay...where does that leave us? What does this look like? What happens to the gods then when the guy trying to kill them just gives up? Is there any resolution to any of the story beats? Like, what is the ending of this story when Ludinus is on Bells Hells' side?

It's honestly the eternal fix-it fic/What if the Villain could be GOOD problem. I'm not saying there can't be compelling stories about redemption and healing - obviously there can be - but sometimes a fictional character really isn't built to make sense of a narrative of redemption and healing. I don't think Ludinus is built like that. The story kind of unravels around him if he does not see his purpose of a thousand years through to the bitter end. I'm not saying it's impossible; a simultaneous strength and weakness of actual play is that the unexpected can happen because of player choice and particular dice rolls, and sometimes the unexpected is brilliant and sometimes it really isn't.

I find myself with the following two hypotheses. They are only educated guesses; they are not confirmed in any way.

Ludinus Da'leth is, in a way, Matt exploring the terrifying question "what if someone who subscribes to the politics of bitterness and revenge happened to also be intelligent and competent." I hesitate to draw direct comparisons to such figures as, say, Trump, or Elon Musk, but there is something in how Ludinus is played that evokes that base desire to destroy something because you found it insulted you (especially if it wasn't even after you personally), and dedicating your power and resources to taking it over, even if that is a joyless endeavor that destroys you in the process.

I think a lot of fans of Ludinus Da'leth are terrified of being wrong, either morally or in terms of their predictions; ironically this leads to a tendency to hedge to the point of incoherence as seen above such that I think it's impossible for them to ever be correct in their predictions other than in the most tangential or obvious (ie, everyone is predicting this) ways.

Anyway: this didn't really answer your question for the reasons given but I hope this explores why, in my mind, it kind of doesn't matter.

[intersexalastor]

How are we feeling after this week's leaks?

Bad. Though I always knew that Horikoshi would pull a Kishimoto and that bnha is copganda first and foremost, I still didn't quite expect that he'd be so obvious with it.

So far, no one has actually been confirmed "saved." Dabi is dying, except instead of on the battlefield, he's going out the slow way, permanently fixed to a hospital bed where he'll wade out the remainder of his stagnant life as it trickles out of him day by day. I do not care about the heart monitor, and I do not care about the rest of his family. I'm officially sick of the other kids and Rei in canon.

Endeavor never suffers any real consequences. We're made to think he does, of course, because he's endured severe injuries. But isn't it oh-so-convenient that society does not need to reckon or hold him accountable/make an example of their no. 1 hero? Society doesn't need to actually sit down and hash out what needs to be done about their super star pro being a domestic abuser and eugenicist. The story can easily wipe its hands of the mess that is Endeavor's character.

And let's not forget about Twice, whose murderer is now president of the lil organization that ordered the deaths of who knows how many. Yet another motherfucker who does not suffer any consequences for his actions. And while at least Endeavor admits that what he did was wrong, Hawks never has. He orders the death of Toga, and no one has said anything about it. He's not reflected on it other than to say how cool Twice was. Twice, whose double wished Hawks death in his last moments in Toga's arms. (And I could get into how Twice's blood + Toga pretty much had zero impact, but then I'd lose my mind.)

Let's not even fucking mention how dog of the state Nagant is being let out of prison L-O-Fucking-L.

What can I say? It's cop propaganda. Hawks is a murder who got rewarded and Endeavor is the shit at the bottom of Horikoshi's shoe that he's wiping off the in the grass and hope no one notices the smell.

I cannot wait for this manga to be over and for all the hawks and co. fans to fuck off so the rest of us can sit, talk shit about how stupid this story is, and sexualize the villains in peace lmao. I'll still be here writing and thinking about dabitwice and talking mad shit about

[a1307s]

Flickers of Green #2

(Dick Grayson & Jason Todd)

[Art is not mine! Credit to fish-goat]

Requested by: quirkyshortdumbo11

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 6,214

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Cursing

Mentions of Death

———————————————————————

I walk out of the abandoned building, the sounds of my gunshot and the now-dead drug lord's screaming still ringing in my head.

Nowadays it seems that these sounds comfort me more than Bruce ever could. Fucking Bruce. I hate him. I hate Batman. I hate the Joker. I hate myself for letting Y/N die. For dragging her to her death. For not being able to save her. For me being the one that's alive.

I can't let guilt cloud my mind right now. It's hard to kill someone as you're feeling guilty for causing the death of someone else. I need something to clear my head, something to reset myself. Coffee should help, it always did when I was originally alive.

I glance around, trying to get my wits together and figure out where the nearest coffee shop is. I tug my phone out of my jacket, taking a glance at the time. Nine thirty-two. Late but not too late, except for coffee. I don't know if anywhere with a decent cup of Joe will be open. I don't need that watered-down bean soup shit they serve at gas stations.

Pamela's cafe will be open. They're always open. I don't want to go there though. The last thing I need is more memories of Y/N.

I do a quick Google search, hoping to find any other cafe open, but I don't. I don't need coffee, but I do need something to eat and a donut sounds so good right now. I can't even remember what a donut tastes like. I'll just have to eat my feelings alongside the donut then.

I pull up Google Maps, glancing over it quickly before heading towards the cafe. The plus side of Pamela's is that the staff is pretty chill with anything; heroes, villains, and citizens alike.

It seems that in the past couple of years, the girls on staff have been adopted by some of the villains. I see Ivy, Scarecrow, and Harley coming and going from there a lot.

When I was at the Iceberg Lounge - aka Penguin's bar, strip club, and not-so-underground business - he mentioned that he "keeps up" on the girls and pays some of their tuition. He also mentioned there's a new girl that started a couple of months ago and that she's "a feisty little one that doesn't fear shit". That coming from Penguin is a bit of an honor. Not many people can get a compliment like that from him.

Maybe I'll meet this feisty new girl tonight. Maybe I'll take her home. I could use the distraction. However, I don't usually end up doing anything with them when I do get them home. I usually just lose my shit cause it's not the same as it was with Y/N.

I switch between being mad and being indifferent about being unable to move on from her. She died only ever loving me, why can't I live only ever loving her?

The neon lights of the cafe cut into my line of sight along with cutting through my thoughts. I forgot how obnoxious all the neon was. Standing right outside the cafe is Penguin and a young girl. She's in the 50s dinner uniform Pamela's staff wears. She's also wrapped up in a fancy-looking coat.

I feel half bad for the girl. If she's working at a cafe, she can't afford a coat like that, which means it's from the Penguin. It's never good for anyone - much less a young girl - to be in debt to Penguin.

My pace slows as I approach them. "Come on Feisty, just let me pay for your courses. Then you wouldn't have to work so much."

"No, I'm good. I don't mind supporting myself." The girl's voice is soft but firm as she speaks. Maybe she isn't as stupid as I thought.

"Listen here you little bitch-"

"No, you listen here you fucking flightless bird," the girl yells back, causing a bit of laughter to brew in my chest. "I already told you I don't want your money and unlike most of the other girls, I don't owe you shit so back off."

"And if I don't?" He asks, starting to turn the head on his cane. Under the head is usually a knife that Penguin is known to use on people when he doesn't get his way.

The girl yanks the cane away before any damage can be done, causing shock in both the bird and me. "If you don't I'll stab you to death with your own cane. Go back to your dumb pimp square." Penguin stands there for a second, just staring at the girl before he walks away mumbling to himself. His wobble is more present than usual now that he doesn't have his cane to support him. The club owner wasn't kidding about this girl not being scared of anything, or at least she was good at pretending.

Now that the fat man isn't in the way, I'm able to see the girl he was talking to. As my eyes scan over her my mind both empties and explodes. Standing in the neon lights is the spitting image of Y/N, which is impossible... because she's dead.

Or is it? I'm technically dead and yet here I am. But if she was alive, she would have looked for me, right? Like I did for her? She would at least be at the manor, right? Bruce would take her back in or at the very least Dick would... right? Or maybe she didn't want to go back to them. Maybe she's mad at them too.

Y/N - I think it's her - turns on her heels, heading down the road. I need to follow her. If she is my Y/N I need to know. I need to be a hundred percent certain. At the very least, if it's not Y/N I should still watch the girl get home safe after she disagreed with Penguin.

What if it's not Y/N? What if it is? What if this is a trap? Is Al Ghul fucking with my head again? Did he set this up to trap me back within the League? Even if he did, I need to know what's going on. Just in case it is a trap, I stay hidden. I'll have the element of surprise if shit does go south.

I follow this girl, not paying much attention to where she's going but making sure to keep pace with her. If it is my Y/N I can't lose her again from careless mistakes.

My mind runs a mile a minute as I trail her. I need answers, I need to hold her, I need her to be Y/N.

Maybe-Y/N turns, making my heart race. Fear of losing her around the corner mixes with the joy of a split second of light enveloping her.

I catch a glimpse behind her ear. When we were twelve, right before Bruce took us in, we thought it would be a good idea to give each other stick-and-poke tattoos. We tattooed each other's names behind our ears. My name is there, behind her left ear, in my chicken scratch handwriting. It has to be her. There's no way Al Ghul could know about that. I don't even think Bruce knows about our matching tattoos.

My pace quicks as I slide around the corner after her. I need her. I need to tell her I'm here. I need - it's a trap.

Hands land on me, throwing me to my right. My boots slide against the gravel on the sidewalk, aiding in me losing my balance. I fall hard, harder than the Roman Empire.

On my way down, my helmet comes into contact with a trash can. The noise echoes within my disguise, promising to give me a headache.

"What the hell?" I bark, quickly getting back to my feet. I should have known this was too good to be true. I should have known it was a trap. I should have known to pay attention to my surroundings. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Once the sound rattling around my helmet quiets some I'm able to get a grip on my surroundings. Standing in front of me is Dick Grayson in his signature black and blue spandex suit. "Fucking Nightwing," I husk out, shaking my head to get the last of the echoes out.

"Hood," he answers, positioning himself for a throwdown.

From my last run-in with Bruce, it's evident he knows who I am. Despite his attempt to hide it, the Bat was throwing his punches. I'm guessing from the greeting that he didn't share his findings with Dick.

But fine, if a fight is what Nightwing wants, a fight is what he'll get. It shouldn't be difficult to get him down.

I cautiously walk toward him, preparing myself to swing. One easy hit. Just one to knock him down long enough for me to sneak off and find Y/N.

I swing at him, but he ducks. What a little shit. I don't want trouble, I just want to go find - he thinks I'm stalking her. Dick thinks I'm stalking Y/N. Does he know it's Y/N?

"Just move aside, Wing, it's not what you think," I call out louder than I meant to. I throw another punch, trying to get him down again. I don't have time for this. I don't have the want to explain who I am and who I'm chasing after.

Dick needs to get out of my way before I lose Y/N. I can't lose her again. I'd burn the Earth to a crisp before I let that happen.

My thoughts distract me, making me lag as Nightwing tries to sweep my feet out from under me. I almost managed to avoid it but do end up tripping a bit from my late reaction.

"You're a notorious killer chasing after a girl, what else am I supposed to think?" Grayson calls, his cocky attitude present in his words. Well, that answers my question; he doesn't know it's Y/N. Or who I am. Or maybe he does and doesn't want me to know that he's connected to her. I hate the hush-hush behaviors we both inherited from Bruce.

I stumble back, again causing my helmet to come into contact with more metal. I'm definitely going to have a piercing headache for the next couple of hours. Great.

As the object behind me catches my fall, my guns slide across it, reminding me of their presence. If he's not going to go down with physical force, a gunshot sure as hell will work.

Nightwing approaches me, pulling his weapon out from behind his back. He's mumbling, probably answering whoever is on the other end of his coms. Great, I'm going to have to go through Batman too to get to Y/N. If that's the case, so be it. Bruce's name is as good as carved into my bullets if that's what it takes to get Y/N back.

I take Nightwing's distraction as a chance to get the upper hand. Being the asshole I am, I sweep Nightwing's feet out from under him. It's what he deserves and quite good karma. He stumbles back, landing on his back a couple of steps ahead of me.

No time is wasted as I start closing the gap between us. My gun feels heavy in my hand as I pull it out. Richard made his own grave trying to get between Y/N and me again, but that doesn't mean I like laying him in it. I watch as he grabs for one of his sticks as I tower over him. He can try all he wants but it won't stop me; nothing will stop me. Y/N will be safe from him, from Bruce, from the life I dragged her into it.

I level the barrel to his head debating if I should just end it here. It would be quite the message to Batman. "Lady don't!" A young voice screams out.

I glance up to find who else is present but before I can my eyes lock on Y/N. She's rushed and flustered as she races towards me. Before I can stop her, she's shoving the gun up towards the sky. "Don't shoot!" She shouts, her words followed by the sound of the gun going off.

Fear flickers through me before my senses come in. Y/N isn't shot, she can't be, the gun is pointed too high.

She stands in front of me, anger rooted in her eyes as she looks at me. There are flickers of green mixed in with her normal eye color. I take in the rest of her, letting my mind go silent as I look her over. Y/N has a strand of grey mixed in her hair, just like me. She has to be alive because of the Laza pit. She has the same greying hair and recent green added to her eyes, just like me. Mine were caused because of the pit, so hers have to be because of it too, right? Is she suffering from the same side effects I did because of the pit?

"What the fuck is your problem, you daft cow?" Y/N yells, tugging the weapon from my hand before I can stop her. I have to stop myself from laughing at the situation. It's too much like it was when we were younger. Dick and me going toe-to-toe and Y/N swooping in to break us up once again.

"Don't stand there and look dumb at me. What do you think you're doing?" She repeats herself, her attention turning towards the gun.

I shift to point it down, so she doesn't accidentally shoot herself, but she beats me to it. The barrel is pointed at the open pavement between our feet as her hands work on disconnecting the bullets from the gun.

Y/N's fingers look smooth and soft as they work. I want to touch them. I want to hold them in my hands. I want to press kisses into them. I want to touch her. I want to know she's real.

"I..." I start, my mouth feels heavy and suddenly full of cotton. "Hi." The word sounds loud when it tumbles out.

"Hello," Y/N says back, her eyes sparkling. The color I've grown so used to comforts me despite the newly added flickers of green. She's so bright and here and alive.

Her focus stays on me for a beat longer as she hands me back my gun. Our fingers bumping into each other, sending shivers up my spine. She's alive.

I let the feeling envelop me as my eyes switch from her face to staying locked on the shitty tattoo behind her ear. My mind is on overtime, running through a million questions even as Y/N moves up and down in front of me. I can hear her voice as she talks to Dick but it's hard to focus on processing her words.

My eyes snap back up as Y/N stands. She whispers something, the words lost in her uncomfortableness. Am I making her upset? Is Dick? I glance around her to hopefully see what shifted her tone. Since being distracted, Bruce's new Robin has appeared in front of us. Is he making her upset?

Y/N starts walking away, causing panic about losing her to wash over me. Before I can stop myself, I reach out for her, my hand wrapping around her arm to stop her movements. "Let..." I start again, my mouth still feeling dry, and it gets drier as Y/N turns towards me. "Let me walk you home." The words come out quieter than I thought they would.

Her eyes harden as she looks at me and shakes me off of her. "What the fuck is with all you superheroes? Two days ago, I had a frantic Batman shoving hundred-dollar bills into my hand. You have been trailing me for three blocks, you-" So she knows I was behind her? Does she know it's me? Does she not remember Bruce is Batman? What does she remember?

I shake my head again, trying to Etch-A-Sketch the thoughts out of my head. I focus my attention back on Y/N. Her hands are on her hips, her right one popped out. I want to touch her again. I want to put my hands on her hips. I want to feel her between my fingers. I want to feel her warmth against me. I want-

My thoughts are cut off again when Dick starts touching her. "I... Y/N?" Dick says his tone as quiet as mine was. All the love-struck feelings wash out of me and are replaced with anger and jealousy. I don't want him touching her. I should be touching her. She's mine. She's always been mine. What the fuck does Dick think he's doing?

"Good guess," Y/N answers, her figure relaxing some. Does she remember that Grayson is Nightwing? Why does she remember that but not that Bruce is Batman? Does she like him touching her?

"Y/N?" He repeats, his face scrunched up in confusion. He needs to stop touching her before I lose my shit.

Almost as if Y/N can read my thoughts, she shrugs him off and starts walking away again. "That's my name, don't wear it out." Her tune is light and happy, making butterflies flap around my stomach. Nightwing and I stay frozen, watching her slip out of the alleyway before vanishing from our sight.

Dick's attention turns back towards me. His eyes are watery. Apparently, I'm not the only secret Bruce has been keeping from him, how in tune for the bat. "What's next? You going to end up being Jason Todd?" He asks, a sad laugh following. It tinges my heart, almost making me regret being willing to kill him a few minutes ago.

I hum a bit, turning towards the direction Y/N went in as I think about what I'm going to do. I start heading after her before changing my mind. I know she's alive and in town. That's all that matters. It'll be best for her if I back off, give her time to think over the event, and give Dick time to tattle to Bruce so I can see how they'll react. I glance at Nightwing behind me before opening my mouth again, "We both know that Y/N being alive isn't the only secret Bruce Wayne is hiding from the world."

I let the words hang behind me as I walk away. Waiting to go after Y/N also gives me time to think over what I'm going to do. If she doesn't remember parts of her life - if any of it - I don't need to scare her away by coming off too strong.

———————————

My heart jumps around as I walk up the path from the other day. The neon lights are still obnoxious as fuck, but I don't mind. Y/N will be there. I know she will. I've been watching her, keeping tabs on her, getting the hang of her schedule. I know, I know, I know. I sound like a stalker. But it's not stalking. It's... intel collecting.

I know she'll be here. She works until nine-thirty, so unlike the other night, I come in earlier, so I have time to see her. Time to talk to her. I also know they're not too busy at night so the cafe will at least be mostly empty, if not completely deserted.

From my stalk- intel collecting, I know Dick came in earlier to talk to her. I don't know what they talked about though. I don't know if I want to know. It pissed me off seeing Dick with Y/N. Pissed me off seeing him touch her again. Pissed me off seeing the smile that stayed on her face even after she left the cafe for class.

What does Dick think he's doing? I'm not stupid or blind. Hell, even a blind man can see how down-hard Dick is for Y/N. Even when we were younger, he pretty much had hearts in his eyes anytime Y/N was around. She wanted me last time; she'll want me this time too... I think.

The jingle of the bell on the door competes with my heartbeat for space in my ears. Sitting in one of the bar chairs at the coffee island is Y/N. Scarecrow is next to her, helping her with her chemistry homework. I'm not thrilled about this arrangement but at least Y/N is getting the academic help she needs.

"Hello!" Y/N peeps out, sending a smile at me as her attention turns away from Scarecrow. Her eyes soften when she focuses on me. "It's you again."

"It's me again," I mumble, taking slow steps towards her.

Scarecrow stands up, placing himself between Y/N and me. He's always been a small man, even when I was a kid, but he seems even smaller nowadays. "Again?" He asks, trying to look intimidating. He's barely intimidating when he's in his suit, and definitely isn't when he's dressed like a civilian.

"Again," Y/N peeps up, her voice still airy and soft. The same voice that used to whisper sweet nothings into my ear until I fell asleep most nights. "Helmet man here walked me home after I argued with Penguin the other night."

"You got into an argument with Penguin?" Crow asks, turning his attention from me to Y/N. "What did he want?"

"You know, the usual. He wants me in debt to him for another body to do his bidding," She teases a soft smile on her face in an attempt to comfort Crow. Scarecrow shifts around a bit glancing at me a few times.

I step aside, standing next to the skinny man and joining him looking at Y/N. She's so pretty, even out of her style and in the dumb uniform for the cafe. "Can I buy you a coffee?" I ask her, slowly tugging my helmet off as well as making sure the mask under it stays in place. The last thing I need is Scarecrow knowing I'm Jason Todd.

"Look at you, pulling all the guys today," Crow half teases, sending glares my way.

"I guess so," Y/N says, her smile even bigger as she scans over my face. Maybe she does know who I am.

"I have something to deal with. Will you be okay if I leave?" Crow asks, his attention not being pulled from me.

"I'll be fine. I'm pretty confident that I can take him if need be." Y/N giggles at herself, pulling a soft chuckle from Crow as well. He nods at her before turning on his heels and walking off. "What do you want to drink?" She asks, standing up and sliding behind the counter.

"I'll have whatever you're going to have." She hums, starting to make whatever it is she's making. I watch her move around, my eyes drinking in every moment. Memories flow in and out as I watch her. Memories of her hands on me, her lips on me, of her laugh, of her. "What do you think he's off to go do?" I ask, being careful not to call him Scarecrow in case she doesn't know. It would be better if Y/N didn't know; it would be one less person to protect her from.

She hums, her hands working at pouring our drinks out. "He's probably going to go line the fog machines in the Iceberg with fear gas. He gets pretty pissy when Penguin fucks with the staff." So, she does know. Is that good or bad? Probably good in this situation. "Here you go," She murmurs, pushing my cup towards me before walking back around the counter with her drink.

Y/N slides back into her seat, patting the one next to her. I obey, sitting down. Her eyes stay locked on me, the flickers of green swirling around them as she stares. The space is quiet, the only sound being us sipping on our coffees. "Are you stalking me?" She asks, filling in the space and causing me to choke a bit.

My lungs force out a cough in an attempt to counteract my choking. Y/N's eyes stay locked on me, the green standing out as she watches. "I... no?" Why the fuck did that come out as a question? That's pretty counterproductive. "No, I'm not." That's better... maybe.

She hums again, sipping on her coffee as she thinks over my answer. "Defiantly seems like you're stalking me. Most people don't sneak around and follow me all day." Once again silence falls between us. How am I supposed to respond to that?

Y/N sits in silence, enjoying her coffee as she watches me. Even though I know she's suspicious of me, I still find comfort in her gaze. "I don't remember much of my life before six months ago so if I'm supposed to know you, I'm not avoiding you. I just don't know who you are, so you don't need to sneak around me; you just need to talk to me. Well, and be patient please." She says, being the one to break the silence again.

Oh... So, she doesn't know anything. That's... scary. For many reasons. "Is there anything you do remember?" I ask, gently pushing my coffee back and forth between my hands.

"Snip bits of stuff. Though some things have started coming back since I ran into Nightwing and you. Some more came back after my coffee chat with Richard Grayson too."

Don't fucking say his name. Don't say it. You should be saying my name. Should be remembering stuff because of me. Not because of fucking Dick. "Oh ya?" I peep out, glaring ahead of me at the menu instead of focusing my anger on Y/N.

"Mmhmm..." She falls silent, nodding her head back and forth as if she's trying to wiggle her thoughts around. "Helmet man-"

"Red Hood," I say, cutting her off with my correction.

I turn my attention back to her, being met with her eyes already on me. "You're my Jason, right?"

"Ya," I push out, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. The word 'my' repeats nonstop in my head, bouncing around my brain as I try to sort through my feelings of bliss.

"I think I love you," She whispers, her hand dipping back behind her ear to mess with her tattoo.

The bliss is all washed away once the words hit my ears. She thinks she loves me? Does she not remember loving me? Of course not, Y/N doesn't remember anything. Well, at least a small piece of her remembers me. Remembers me enough to know she's supposed to love me and that's good enough. There's enough hope there for me to build on.

"Well, I know I love you," I whisper back, keeping my eyes on her to see her reaction. She's still looking at me, her eyes shining.

She hums a bit, tilting her head as she scans me again. "Can I take your mask off?" Y/N asks, her hands slow and gentle as they slide over my cheeks and come into contact with the mask covering my eyes.

"Ya."

Her fingers are soft as they snap off my mask. The joy drains from me as the warmth from her touch is removed. "Your eyes are green... I remember them being blue," Y/N says, her fingertips soon back on my cheeks.

I can feel my cheeks heating up, both from a blush and the hands present on my skin. "They used to be, now they're green." Y/N hums, running her fingers over my cheekbones before sliding them into my hair. I let my eyes close, soaking in her touches. It's calming, being able to be so close to her again, feeling her touch me again, feeling proof that she's alive. I lean forward a bit, getting close enough to feel Y/N's soft breathing coat my face. "Can..." Asking to kiss her might be a little much right now. Maybe I shouldn't ask.

"Can you what?" Y/N prompts, her hands dropping down to my shoulders.

My eyes snap open and once again they're met with the familiar color and the newly added flickers of green. Why did she only get slivers and mine completely changed color? "Can I take you on a date?" I finally ask, shifting a bit so our noses are touching. God, I want to kiss her. I want to hold her. I want her in every way possible. It's going to kill me having to work back up to that.

"I'd like that, Jason."

Yes. God, yes. "Say my name again," I mumble, rubbing my nose against hers.

"Jason," She whispers, bopping my nose with her own before pulling away from me.

———————————

Butterflies flap around my stomach, threatening to come up in a not-pretty way. My hands shake as I lift one to knock on the door of Y/N's apartment. The knocking feels loud as I do it. Maybe I knocked too loud.

The door swings open soon after, the door frame filling with the image of Y/N. She's dressed up with her hair down to cup her face. "Hi," I breathe out, my eyes drinking her in. She's so pretty, so perfect, so alive.

"Hello," she answers back, her eyes glancing at my hand. "You got me flowers?" Y/N asks, leaning against the door frame.

"Oh ya," I bark out, definitely too loud, as I push the bouquet toward her. I couldn't decide what flowers to get so I ended up getting three different bouquets and had the lady mix them. "Your favorite flowers are orange roses, but I didn't know if you still liked them or not, so I panicked and got more flowers than you probably need or want." That was dumb. Why did I say that? I feel like a thirteen-year-old with his first crush again.

"I still like orange roses," Y/N tells me, taking the flowers from me before walking back through the door. I follow after her, making sure to close the door behind me. Her apartment is small but cozy. There's not much in her home either but I guess that's expected since Y/N doesn't know herself.

There is a small couch and one of those old, bulky, shitty TVs tucked into her living room. The apartment smells nice, like pork and chili pepper. A million different dishes are stacked up around her countertop in the kitchen. "What are you making?" I ask her, sliding my jacket off before laying it on the couch.

"I'm making Pozole. I remember you liking it. Or I think you liked it. Somebody did at least," She mumbles a bit, keeping her attention to the pot on the stove in front of her.

"I like pozole. Alfred and you used to make it for me all the time."

Y/N's eyes light up at my words, making my chest fill with the warmth of joy. I walk into the cramped kitchen, making sure to stay out of her way as I stand in her presence. I watch her like a hawk as she works away, letting the warmth of the stove and the smell of dinner fill the space between us. For the first time in two years, I finally feel okay, finally feel at peace.

"You didn't answer my question the other day," I voice, sliding in closer to her. I want to hold her; I want to wrap my arms around her waist. I debate it for a second. I don't want to scare her off.

"What question?" Y/N asks, glancing at me before turning back to her project at hand.

"Is there anything you remember from our - er - your life?"

Y/N snaps the heat off, continuing to stir the pot as she thinks it over. "There's not a lot I do remember. I'm starting to remember this dude named Wally, I think. I don't know. I'm going to talk to Dick about him tomorrow. I remember a bit about Dick too but not much. I remember a bit about you... about us." Her eyes glance at me, before turning back to our dinner. She picks up some heat absorbers, wrapping them around the pot before setting it on a cutting board on the counter.

She's talking to Dick? About her memories? Or lack thereof, I guess. I don't want her talking to him. What's he going to say to her? What has he already said to her? What ideas is he putting into Y/N's head? Has Dick tried anything with her?

"What do you remember about us?" I ask, trying to push for more information as I try to forget my worried thoughts.

Y/N floats around the kitchen, taking out dishes for our food. My eyes trail her as she moves around the small space. "Umm... I remember us kissing a lot."

I chuckle a bit at that response. We do - did kiss a lot. We did other things a lot too. "Ya, ya we kissed a lot. We were very... touchy." Y/N giggles a bit as she makes our plates. My eyes keep glancing from her face to her hips. I really want to touch her. Before I can stop myself, I push off the counter I'm leaning on and wrap her up in me. My hands are firm on her hips and her back is pressed into my chest as I bury my head into her neck.

Y/N stiffens a bit in my hold before relaxing her muscles again. "We danced a lot too," I mumble into her neck, softly shifting her hips so we can sway together. She sways with me, her body weight feeling so good against mine. "You liked to read out loud to me too."

"Do you not know how to read?" She teases, shifting in my hold so we're face to face.

"I know how to read, I just read too slow for your liking."

"Oh ya?"

"Absolutely not, I just like your voice," I answer, lifting my head from her neck and placing our noses next to each other.

Y/N's hands slide up my arms, resting on my shoulders. "Our favorite book is The Great Gatsby, ya?"

My heart swells a bit at her words. "Ya, it is," I whisper, trying to focus my eyes on hers instead of her lips. It doesn't work so I decide to close my eyes, letting myself focus on her body heat instead. We stay silent, sitting like this, with me holding her. I could stay like this forever.

"Could you kiss me?" Y/N mumbles, shifting in my hold.

My eyes snap open, taking in her face. I roll the words over in my head. I already thought holding her was much for a "first date" and now she's asking me to kiss her? Maybe this is a trap. Maybe I'm making her feel like we have to move fast. Maybe Al Ghul is fucking with my head somehow. "Why?" I peep out, loosening my grip on her.

"Well, my therapist says doing stuff I used to do can help with my memories coming back. We were together ya?"

"Ya, we still are." Her face pinches some as her body stiffens again. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. It isn't fair of me to expect a relationship from Y/N. She doesn't even know who she is, let alone who I am.

"Well, I thought maybe kissing you again would help. We don't have to-"

"I really want to kiss you," I say, cutting her off, and tightening my grip on her again. Y/N's hands slide to the back of my neck, her fingers shaking a bit against my skin but her body relaxes again. "Close your eyes," I mumble, sliding my nose against hers again.

Y/N obeys, fluttering her eyes shut. I take my time, trailing kisses across her nose, her eyes, and her cheeks, before placing myself above her mouth. I soak this scene in for a second before closing the gap between us. Her lips are soft against mine and taste like mint gum.

I shift my hands up, cupping her neck with one and softly dipping the other into her hair. All my need and want and love is boiled into the kiss. Our lips shift against each other for a while, the kiss getting heated way more than it meant.

As my lungs start burning, Y/N pulls back, making me a bit sad. I'd gladly suffocate to death from her kiss. "Jason," She murmurs, her words a little slurred.

"Say it again," I whisper back, tilting my head so our lips are close again.

"Jason," She mutters again. Her lips brush against mine as she speaks.

Fucking Christ. This is too hot, too heated, too much for her right now but I can't stop thinking about hearing her whisper my name all night. "I can't wait for you to fall in love with me again," I say, keeping my tone at a whisper as I glance over her face.

"Why is that?" Y/N asks, her fingers tangling into my hair.

"Because I still love you so fucking much."

———————————————————————

[mikelogan]

ttpd thoughts

for the record, i'm not trying to be like. purposely hateful or anything, i'm just so deeply disappointed with her. this last year has been a mess and she's repeatedly acted in ways that, at the very least, rub me in the wrong way and at their worst have disgusted me and made me lose so much respect for/faith in her. miss americana has become a piece of performance art rather than any sort of meaningful activism.

she made a very public display of dating/hooking up with a bigot and basically said "fuck you, i do what i want" in response to valid criticism and then tried to smooth it over by working with one of the women he'd called slurs. almost every time she spoke this year, whether in an interview or through tree, she reinforced my worry that she views herself as untouchable and that any sort of negativity or criticism directed toward her should be discounted because she's an "underdog" and a woman, despite the fact that there are very real issues with her words and actions. and don't get me started on everything with football guy and his trump-loving ass.

she is absolutely allowed to do, say, date, fuck, etc. anyone and anything she wants. she can write songs about all of it. she can do damage control and pr and control the narrative however she chooses. she can run smear campaigns and drag names through the mud while maintaining she's the perpetual victim when she's arguably the one with the most power in any given situation. i can appreciate that fame presents a set of challenges that i will never experience or fully comprehend.

but i'm also allowed to have my opinions on it, especially when so much of it is so heavily publicized. there is so much we will never know and there is also so much we do know that we never should have. pretty much since eras was announced, she's become so deeply oversaturated and it went from being cool to see so much hype and getting a new album and new re-recordings to feeling like everything is about money and breaking records. it's become a machine, a content factory, and so many decisions feel rushed, incomplete, and incongruent. it doesn't feel like there's been real thought about the material itself and instead it's become about aesthetics and sensationalism.

i think that's why i'm so frustrated right now and it's highly likely that these albums will grow on me or at least some of the songs. i've been listening to the 12 songs i liked on repeat since i finished my initial run through each album and i already like them even more. but i wish that it could truly just be about the music for me. that's what's always been most meaningful to me about taylor is her lyricism and the stories she tells through her songs. but knowing everything i know and having seen everything i've seen over the past year, it's tainted my perception of the albums and the songs on them.

i think that taylor has a lot of growing to do as a person. i've heard people say that sometimes celebrities are frozen at the age they became famous and i think that really shows in taylor's case. the irony of a song being titled "so high school" was certainly not lost on me. a lot of her phrasing feels very juvenile, just as her treatment of joe and everything surrounding the end of their relationship has been. i never really had feelings about him one way or another, and as i mentioned above, there's a lot we'll never know about what happened between them. but she's been pushing her victim narrative so hard and the only thing i've seen from joe is his support of palestine. actions speak a lot louder than words. it changed so drastically from the initial news of their breakup being amicable to turning him into yet another villain. i have no doubt in my mind that taylor has been treated very poorly by a lot of the men in her life, and joe is likely not an exception. but i'm to the point where i have to take everything she says with a heaping tablespoon of salt.

at the end of the day, taylor's music is her own and i understand why she's said that she wants her work to be about the music and not about the men. i can see how it would feel invalidating to have her songs picked apart and attributed to the men they're written about. and i'm not even trying to do that here. but i can't recall a time when she's been so public about her relationships? in the past, it's felt a lot more like speculation, but jesus, between ratty and tk this past year, we've just been inundated with so much that unless i was an extremely casual fan that managed to escape her face on every news show, billboard, and social media website, i can't fathom not knowing what she's singing about on these albums. she can't have it both ways.

i still have all the music that came before ttpd, and like i said, with subsequent listens, ttpd will probably grow on me a bit, but idk man, i'm over it. and i think it's important to be willing and able to criticize or at the very least analyze your favorite media, whether it's music or tv or film or literature or whatever else. your favorite thing probably sucks in one way or another and pretending it doesn't doesn't make you a better person than someone who acknowledges it. these are complex, extremely nuanced things i take issue with and when it comes down to it, i will never know taylor personally and be able to talk to her about these things and get her point of view and her thoughts. that leaves me to say my piece, which is what this post is.

as a recovering swiftie, i'm just so very tired.

[eris-snow]

Hi I was thinking if you could do aizawa having a sibling or daughter. Like a younger sister or daughter who he teaches and do some type of angst with them. Like him not paying much attention to her or she’s caught doing something (like smoking,drugs). Something like that. Thank you ❤️

I’m not comfortable writing any mentions about underage smoking or drinking (cause I assume that she's still in high school when this scene occurs) but I’ll try to make it up by making y/n kind of ‘bad girl’ ish!

I don't condone underage smoking or underage drinking. Please take care of your body :D

Note for the requester below!

Tags: daughter!yn, Aizawa, angst

“So, mind explaining what that was?” Aizawa asks, sighing as he pinches the bridge of his nose as he closes his room door in the dorms of Class A.

You think it's ironic because, even as his daughter, you’ve only seen this place once.

Your arms are littered with scars, a nasty bruise already forming on your cheek at where you’ve been punched. It throbs, sure, but it's nothing compared to your father's words.

No, his words are a knife to the chest. They’d make your heart bleed so much more than any quirk every could.

“Don’t want to,” You grouse, shrugging of your school bag. It lands on the ground with a loud thud as you try to reach for the door handle. A hand shoots out to grab yours firmly, making you freeze in your spot.

“May be I should have rephrased my statement,” Your father growls. “Tell me what happened, Y/n.”

His grip is controlled, gentle but firm in a way that makes you want to scoff. So he only cares now, when you kick up a fuss.

How flippant.

And yet, a small part of your mind still cowers at Aizawa’s anger. Your father’s icy wrath can be as cold as a snowstorm or as explosive as Bakugou, and you’re already anticipating and analyzing different ways you could mould yourself back into the person he wants you to be.

Pathetic.

“Nothing happened,” You mutter, not daring to move. “All I did was lose control a little, that’s all—”

“You picked a fight with my student, Y/n!” Aizawa raised his voice, causing tears to prickle your eyes. “Bakugou’s a ticking time bomb that blows up every 10 minutes. You know that, and you still did it! If it weren’t for Midoriya’s quick thinking to get me, you could have been seriously hurt!”

And that’s when it snaps.

“Your s-stu—” You break off, jerking your hand away from his. Your father’s eyes narrow, about to snap again— “Your daughter lost control of her quirk, Dad! Your daughter! Why is it you still care about your own goddamn students over me?”

Aizawa’s eyes widen, fury snuffing out. “Y/n—”

“NO!” You yell, shaking with emotion. “I’ve listened and watched for my whole fucking life. It’s my turn.”

Aizawa opens his mouth, but the minute tears spill from your eyes and a sob escapes your mouth, he presses his lips into a tight line.

“Your students have always been the priority. Ever since day one, you’d throw yourself in front of a villain crime lord to save them when I didn’t know if you’d even spend my birthday with me each year.” You bite your lip, trembling as the word vomit finally spews from your lips. You can’t stop it, and it just keeps coming and coming because now that the lid is off, the words bubble over like a volcano.

“Do you know what everyone in Class B says?” You grit your teeth, clenching your dirt-ridden shirt with your fingernails digging into your skin. The tears burn hot like magma, and you can’t stop yourself from choking the next few lines out. “They’ve labelled you the second father of Class A, Dad! Did you know that?”

A bitter laugh wrenches itself out of your lips, and you’re pretty sure your skin is bleeding at how tightly you’re clenching your shirt. “Am I not your daughter, Dad? Am I not important now that Mum’s gone?”

“I loved your mother—”

“But do you love me?” you sob out.

The question causes Aizawa’s heart to plummet faster than a ten-pound bowling ball. Your voice is so small, so uncertain, and it makes Aizawa’s heartache. Do you-do you seriously think that? That he didn’t love you?

His hesitation was a fatal mistake, because for the first time in a long while, you look up to him with defiance in your eyes. You’d always been a good child, Aizawa had taught you well, after all. But this? Your eyes were hard, stone cold, and it makes Aizawa stop short.

“That’s what I thought.” You curl into yourself with a small choke, hands finding the door handle before you glance back at him with a teary, broken gaze. “Go check on your precious Bakugou. They seem to need you way more than I do.”

The door slams and knocks down the picture frame hanging on his door, shattered glass fragmenting with a loud, high-pitched crash.

On it, is a photo of you and him on Father’s Day.

To be honest, he has already forgotten how long ago it was taken.

--

Note to the requester: I'm so sorry it's so late! I was debating if I should make it a happy ending and ultimately decided to go with this so it wasn't forced. Sorry if it wasn't exactly what you asked for, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Thank you for requesting! 💛

[save-the-villainous-cat]

A homoerotic snippet in which the hero and villain are forced into close proximity? Thanks!

“If you move one more muscle. I’ll scream,” the hero said. It had been a long day. Getting his ass kicked by some new villain, getting the call for the special mission, getting stuck in a vent with the villain — it had been a long, disappointing day he wanted to forget.

He was close to losing his temper which was an occurrence in a millennia. He always managed to keep his cool but today, for some reason, he wasn’t necessarily keen on sticking to any sort of moral code.

“Oh, come on. This is very fun unless you’re claustrophobic.”

The hero sighed, hating how his enemy was touching every inch of him, except for his back. He couldn’t move. But the villain could, he just chose not to.

Like some medieval torture method. The suspense was aggravating the hero the most, the position wasn’t even that bad.

“I could get used to this.” The villain’s breath tickled the hero’s neck and for a second, the hero thought the world had stopped spinning.

“Cut it off, will you?” His voice was softer now and a certain melancholy took over his mind, replacing the raw and distasteful anger. He didn’t know what drew him to the villain so frequently. Didn’t know why he had called him, asked for help. Didn’t know why he needed to see him.

Or maybe he did, he was just too afraid to name it.

“You’re no fun,” the villain said, his finger boring into the hero’s side. It made him flinch embarrassingly. “Little puppy. Always coming when he’s called. Always doing what he’s told. You’re no fun.”

Aghast, the hero stared at him with from the side big eyes, hoping he couldn’t see the soft blush on his face.

“We can’t all try to dominate the world, can’t we?”

“You think that’s what I am trying to do?” the villain said, no, whispered, his lips dangerously close to the hero’s collarbone.

“I think you want to destroy as much as you can,” the hero said. He thought the villain would finally release him, not too thrilled to have this conversation. But the villain didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

“Destroying things in the process is collateral damage. Just wanna live without getting bothered. I’m willing to fight for that.” The hero laughed at that humourlessly, mouth splitting into a grin.

“Poor villain. Too popular for his own good.”

“Listen, pretty boy.” The villain grabbed a handful of the hair on the back of the hero’s scalp and pressed him forward, cheek into the cold metal of the vent with such a force that for a second, the hero couldn’t breathe. “I’ve worked for where I’m at and I am not ashamed of the blood on my hands. You may think you can live with it, too. But we both know that you are haunted by the ones you kill. Of the both of us, I am free.”

“Y’wanna ask me to join you?” the hero asked, panting as the villain pressed him into the plain surface.

“Wanna ask you to reevaluate your words. At this point, I am the only one who can help you. Quite literally. So be a bit nicer to your saviour or I’ll start to bite.”

[siflshonen]

Hi there! I stumbled across your mha deep dives and I just wanted to say thank you, it really helped me understand mha a little better!

It’s frustrating being in the western fandom because a lot of the specifically Japanese ideas are unknown to a lot of the Western audience. And i get it, as a westerner myself I had very little idea as to any sort of Important Context that would be clear to Japanese readers. So I really appreciate that you took the time to even try to explain it!

With that being said, I’ve been wondering how you viewed the end of mha, and how the villains were treated. Do you think they could have been saved (or even Should have)? Could they have been redeemed? It’s so depressing for the big three (Shiggy, Dabi, and Toga) to have been teased as being able to be saved, then in the end they all just,,,die.

How do you view Izuku losing OfA? Personally, I would have thought that if he didn’t keep the power he would have become the First Quirkless Pro Hero, (there are so, SO many fanfics exploring that!), but in canon he just,,,gives up? I suppose in the collectivist view, of course he would give up. But that feels so,,,empty from a western perspective. I suppose I answered my own question of why couldn’t he be a quirkless hero lol.

I suppose I’m truly wondering how the ending of mha was supposed to be recieved, with all the cultural knowledge and everything.

I am so sorry this feels so long and disjointed, and feel free to ignore this if it doesnt make sense! (Or if you don’t have any answers, sorry for putting all this on you)

I don’t have a super well-researched and cited answer, but I can follow my heart on this one.

The only villain I’m truly sad about is Himiko, though even in that case I appreciate that she went with dignity, she went with reciprocated love, and she died as she did because it was HER choice. While I would have preferred to keep Shigaraki alive, I can’t say I miss him all that much. And besides, he regained himself and his autonomy at the end and played a part in the destruction of the thing that held him down and even the thing on which his father’s cruel house was ACTUALLY built: All for One and his meddling.

Touya’s story is tragic, but his death and the way in which it will happen is a mercy. I think it’s great when other folks imagine new endings to suit what they like, but I don’t entertain other viewpoints about his on-the-page fate.

In any case, all three of their “hearts”, if you will, were actually saved in the way most important to them. And they even got to stick it to society by refusing to give up what they wanted and be integrated into it. Death is a pretty clean and irrevocable way to separate oneself from a society, and it is an effective way to haunt the minds and hearts of those who witness those deaths and have to understand that that the person who died hated so much the idea of joining society that much.

That isn’t exactly Toya, Himiko, or Shigaraki’s character motive, but I feel like it’s worth pointing out that other cultures can view death as a kind of revenge instead of someone just trying to make the pain of existing stop. Anyway.

I kinda figured that Izuku becoming a teacher was meant to be him accepting his place in the world and indeed accepting reality now that his dream was over, which is seen as a mark of maturity to just get on with what he’s given. That Kacchan specifically spearheaded the development of his suit and was the one to hold out his hand isn’t just a character moment to show how Katsuki intends to continue to atone, I don’t think. I think it’s also because:

A) Katsuki is Izuku’s link to and representation of the quirked world, and specifically the quirked world of Heroes. He always has been, as he’s the person “closer to [Izuku] than All Might.” As long as he exists, Izuku is tethered to that world somehow and has a way to enter/re-enter it somehow.

B) Relatedly, I interpret Katsuki as an embodiment of individual will and individual’s heart’s desire continuing to remain true in the face of the collective (even after he begins to accept and work with the collective), so it makes sense that he’s the one to pursue and nurture Izuku’s “selfish” and outlandish dream of being a superhero even while Izuku himself falls in line. Put another way, Katsuki is, in many ways, an embodiment of Izuku’s heart’s desire - mostly because the two of them have the same heart’s desire.

Though, speaking as a Westerner as well, Izuku’s choices at the end of the manga don’t sit well with me, either, but this is just as much part of why I’m too much of a westerner to completely see eye-to-eye with Izuku throughout the story as it is a comment on the ending.

Most of all, I think it’s ridiculous that Hawks didn’t get Izuku’s Hero suit funded/in development the minute he took the position at the SPC, or that whatever was left of the Hero system before that happened didn’t already have it in the works. It strikes me as EXTREMELY weird.

I have other thoughts about Izuku and Katsuki’s ending, but they’re mostly reflections about other shonen manga past than anything meaningful to say here.