#loren is going so hard with the writing

[tomselleck-ian]

guys that ep floored me. on par with the amazing rudy emotion-wise. and the comedic timing was peak!!

[couldawouldashoulda50]

From Completely Different Worlds - William Nylander

The Sweden Chapter - Part Two Link to Part One is here

A/N - So, I know I've mentioned a baker's dozen times that my tendency is to write longer fics, even than what I initially intend to. So I'm introducing Part Two now...with the understanding that a third part is required to hopefully tie up all the loose ends between William and Loren. Nevertheless, @misshoneyimhome, we're getting there! Again, thank you for always being so open AND encouraging to talk it out whenever a Loren/Willy thought comes up that I need to work through. Notes and Warnings - goes without saying - profanity, smut (basic p in v, oral - m receiving). Any references to past "goings on" between players and an ex, or current girlfriends, friends etc. in this piece is strictly fiction.

Word count - 5.9k 18+ only please.

Recap - Round One for the Leafs seemed to be plagued with a string of unfortunate events right from the very beginning. After the “Where’s Willy” fiasco began to dissipate, more unusual circumstances took hold which further casted a shadow over the Maple Leafs. As the games in the round progressed, the Leafs lost their grip in Games 3 and 4, finding themselves in a precarious position by Game 5. To add to matters, star player Auston Matthews fell ill, and even more speculation swirled about the almost 70 goal scorer’s dedication to winning. The situation reached a boiling point when cameras caught the 3 star forwards arguing on the bench which quickly went viral. As some headlines alluded to, it really seemed like the team was a total dumpster fire. The team had reached new heights of pressure and scrutiny within Leafs Land.

However, just when all seemed lost, the Leafs mounted a remarkable comeback. After Game 5, William, with an extraordinary performance, single-handedly scored all goals in both Games 6 and 7. Given the tight defense known in playoff hockey, scoring those goals, 3 in total, was an impressive feat. As if the Leafs got a shock from a defibrillator, the team and the city suddenly had renewed hope in mounting a surge to take Game 7.

Joe Woll stood tall, delivering an almost flawless performance in Game 6. He came excruciatingly close to securing a shutout, showcasing his outstanding ability under pressure.

Unfortunately, Woll's sustained an injury late in Game 6, leaving the team without their hot starter for the crucial Game 7.

With Woll sidelined, the responsibility fell to Ilya Samsonov, affectionately known as "Sammy" by his teammates and fans. Samsonov fought hard in the crease in Game 7, making several crucial saves to keep the Leafs' hopes alive. Despite his best efforts and the team's perseverance, fate had other plans. In a heartbreaking turn of events, the Bruins managed to clinch the series victory in overtime, sending the Leafs to yet another first-round exit. The tortured fans, players, and franchise were once again dejected—while others were spurned and filled with outrage.

In the aftermath of the disappointing playoff run, Loren and William maintained sporadic communication. Their interactions were affectionate but brief. Loren was back working several overnight shifts at the group home while scheduling and making lesson plans for her French students. She also wanted to give William the time and space that she felt he needed in the days after Game 7.

William had taken the loss hard, and as much as he wanted to feel Loren's presence, he also wanted to steer clear of feeling the void once she left him again. Instead, he navigated through exit meetings, locker clean-out day, and catching up with friends. He began to feel a sense of excitement as offseason travel plans were confirmed, as well as family get-togethers at their lake house in Sweden.

The day William was scheduled to leave for Stockholm hit Loren harder than she anticipated. She wasn't sure of the time of his flight, but it didn't matter anyway. She already had a pit in her stomach just with the knowledge. She told herself that perhaps by the time William returned for the 2024 season, something between them would be solidified, whether it would break her heart or not. A lot could change for both of them in the coming months.

Outside his building, William loaded his SUV with some additional hockey gear when a message from Loren appeared on his cell. It was a heartfelt note—humorous, nostalgic, and positive. He'd planned to make last-minute stops for Toronto souvenirs for the younger kids in his family, but suddenly, seeing Loren seemed far more important.

Truth be told, he was only planning on video-calling her once he was at the airport. He had a lot of emotions swirling around, especially for Loren. He didn’t want do that Hollywood scene of him driving away, leaving the woman he cared for behind.

However thoughts lingered in his head that it was a shitty thing to do given all the support she gave him, and well - just her being her.

William, who rarely made impulsive decisions, changed his mind. He decided to surprise her and to say goodbye in person before his departure.

The 40-minute drive north felt oddly therapeutic, trading the shadows of the city's high-rises with the shade of mature trees. William thought to himself how much he enjoyed escaping to Loren's here and there after they met. Pablo and Banksy had a yard to run around in, while William and Loren snuggled in a lounge chair on the deck, mouths red from making out.

William had checked that Loren was home before he departed, thanks to her location settings still enabled on her phone. It was weeks ago that William asked her to turn the share location settings on, just to see who would arrive at his condo first - him from the airport and her from the suburbs. He won the race - but she got the reward of him, impatiently waiting and hungry for her to get there.

He pulled along the curb to her house, finding her outside, engrossed in yard work with her earbuds in. She had her long mane pulled through the back of a baseball cap, and the rest of her exposed skin was streaked with dirt and covered in sweat.

William couldn't help but be impressed by the sight of Loren working in her yard. Not to mention that he found her absolutely stunning this way. He surveyed her house, she had accomplished a lot since he was there last. Her porch was adorned with flower containers that had started to blossom with vibrant colors, and had large hanging ferns which added an almost tropical flair. This house represented more than just a roof over Loren's head, and the way she cared for it spoke volumes about how much she effort she put in her surroundings. For a moment, William found himself imagining what it would be like to come home to her, knowing how calm and peaceful she made his space feel too.

Loren turned and spotted William walking up the path. Her eyes lit up and she flashed him a bright smile as as he approached her.

He started to pull her in for a hug her when she stopped him, shaking her head. “I’m filthy, sweaty and probably smell like…hmm….well, never mind - just not good…” she laughed.

William brought her into him and hugged her tightly anyway.

He told her she looked like she could use a break and commented that her yard looked phenomenal. The two walked into the house together, making the typical small talk - Loren asking questions, William answering and then a little bit of teasing each other.

Loren offered William a drink, which he accepted. They sat under the pergola of the back deck, which also boasted lush green plants that provided additional privacy.

Although the conversation remained easy, there was a weight to the overall mood and tone. Loren mentioned how strange it was not to see the dogs trotting through the house after him. Once she said it, her throat tightened with emotions that she had been fighting to subdue. Knowing Pablo and Banksy were already in Stockholm underscored the finality of William's departure.

William could see Loren's efforts to remain composed and positive, knowing that there was a cyclone of feelings that churned inside each of them. She continued to show interest in how the first weeks back in Stockholm would look for him. He wanted to ask her more, but she'd always turn the subject back onto him, almost as though she assumed her plans wouldn't interest him.

It's not how he felt. Not by a mile, but he had a flight to catch, so his questions were left unanswered.

Loren glanced at her watch and knew that William needed to leave. She reached for his empty glass as he stood, following her back into the house.

She set the glasses down on the counter and they began to walk to the front door. Loren was beginning to say her goodbyes, her voice not yet breaking but on its way.

He took a chance and pulled her tightly against him, telling her how deeply he appreciated everything she did for him. He had thought of a million ways to thank her but, knowing how stubborn she'd be in accepting any gratitude, he set his thoughts aside. Yet, he wanted to make sure she heard him now.

Loren's throat tightened as she fought to maintain composure. She endured the firm embrace, yearning for it to never end. William’s kiss followed, a moment so intense it seemed to lift her off her feet. And once again, he was gone.

As William drove away, he grappled with conflicting emotions. He felt he shouldn't be leaving her—she should be coming with him. He understood Loren's past necessity to "live to work," but he admired her tireless efforts to shift towards "working to live."

All the same, it frustrated him that she'd probably never accept anything from him costlier than a meal in an expensive restaurant. Even if he offered to take her on a trip, she'd likely decline, unable to afford "her half” of the cost. Shaking his head at the thought of her stubbornness, he continued his drive back to the city.

Meanwhile, Loren began to undress and have a long, hot shower. The tears that had welled up in her eyes after William had left had fallen, been swiped away, and now had vanished. As she stood in the steady stream of warm water, she contemplated that she had the same thought as the last time he left. She would miss him. She felt he was inherently good and kind, and would always cherish her moments with him.

At the same time, Loren knew the months ahead for each of them would be totally different.

William's days would be filled with seeing friends and family, attending get-togethers, celebrations, and just catching up with loved ones.

He would travel, eat, and drink, while meeting the most beautiful women, whom one, or even a few, might be blessed by his touch throughout the night.

Loren's imminent future, albeit not nearly as glamorous as William's, still excited her. From her staunchly frugal ways in the past, she had learned to save money, which she squirreled away for something unusual—special. She was considering a much-needed break. Two weeks in the Caribbean sounded heavenly, and she almost had the funds to make the trip happen, plus cover whatever time away from work that her vacation pay wouldn't cover.

The additional funds she had begun to make with her tutoring were making other dreams she had more of a reality as well. Loren felt like she was getting control of her life, and it felt good.

—

The remainder of May, and throughout June was spent in William’s traditional manner, a much-deserved period of decompression after a rollercoaster of a season. The 2023/2024 season was one to remember for William. He began the season breaking personal and franchise records, dominated the headlines on and off the ice at the Global Series in Stockholm, and was a fan-voted addition to the All-Stars. He broke his season point total, and scored 40 goals for the second season in a row.

He earned every bit of rest, relaxation and time spent doing whatever he wanted.

William's calendar quickly filled up with an array of engagements. His phone buzzed constantly with invitations from friends eager to catch up. There were tennis matches to watch, exotic vacations to take, golf games to win, and family to visit. With a constant jammed-packed itinerary, moments when he was alone were rare. Nevertheless, William happily immersed himself in the vibrant social life that accompanied his stardom.

However, in those moments he found himself alone, he would occasionally scroll through pictures during his times with Loren. Some were posed shots but some were candid moments. Either way, her beauty and her sweetness was captured in each one. He thought about messaging her, but with hundreds of message notifications every time he accessed his phone, he continually put it off. He considered for a brief moment to call, but he was stuck in a suspended state in his mind - wanting to talk to her but inevitably talking himself out of it.

In late June, William was out to dinner with friends before he departed for the annual Nylander family vacation. It was a fun and casual dinner with one of his closest friends and former teammate, Rasmus Sandin (aka Sandy), as well as few hockey players from Modo, his former hockey club in Sweden.

William’s phone buzzed as it did continuously throughout the day, but this time, the sender caught his attention. It was Max Domi, William’s teammate. Max and William were friends, but at that moment, William found it odd that Max would message him outside of their customary group chat.

Sandy saw the perplexed look on William’s face and leaned in to glance at his phone. The two shared no secrets so William angled his phone for Sandy to see.

Max’s note to go with the accompanying picture was fairly simple.

M - Look who came to visit Estelle today…

A picture of Loren appeared. Estelle, Max’s girlfriend who is a professional make-up artist, took a candid shot of her new model, as Loren touched up her lipstick.

Loren’s image jolted William. He felt an ache deep within him as he absorbed every detail of the photo. Her hair was loosely pinned on either side, her long, sandy blonde curls fell across her back. The little simple satin little black dress that adorned her curves perfectly.

Sandy’s brows lifted on his face as he turned to his long-time buddy. “Who’s that? Wait…that’s - is that Loren?”

“Yeah, that’s her. Fucking Max, man - I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

“What- so he sent you the picture? What is she doing with him?” Sandy shook his head. “Does he know you two were sort of dating or whatever it was?” Sandy’s expression was a mix of confusion and wariness on William’s behalf.

William exited the picture and re-read Max’s tex. “Hold on - he said she was visiting Max’s girlfriend. Ok, yeah….they’ve met, I knew they had been talking here and there, but I don’t get why she’s all dressed up, like hair and make-up sort of thing.”

Sandy rolled his eyes a little, feeling the answer was pretty obvious. “Probably club-hopping…”

It was William’s turn to roll his eyes. “At 2 in the afternoon? C’mon man.” William chuckled.

Sandy shrugged his shoulders. “Couldn’t been taken at a different time….fuck’d if I know….just guessing.”

William’s stomach was turning, which turned him off the rest of his burger. He texted Max back, and the two quickly caught up with their whereabouts and other goings on.

He was glad the boys just wanted to head home after dinner - William was in no mood for going out to a bar. All he could think about is going home and calling Loren. And that’s exactly what he did.

William messaged Loren first to find out if she was busy. It didn’t take her long to respond, first with a buoyant greeting, followed by she’s at work but she can talk for awhile.

Loren was outside at the group home taking a break on the patio when William video called her. She still had whatever make-up hadn’t evaporated or rubbed off from her visit with Estelle. William was completely mesmerized for a moment when he saw her on the screen.

The pair chatted enthusiastically as Loren asked a million questions, while William willingly answered them all.

In reality though, he was the one with the burning questions and he patiently waited for the right moment.

It came when Loren apologized for bombarding him, and asked if everything was ok.

“Oh, yeah - everything’s good….I just - Max sent me a pic of you today and —”

Loren interrupted with an apologetic groan. “Fuck, I’m so sorry - I told him not to bug you with that.” Loren continued with a slight laugh. “I don’t know if you have to use reverse psychology to get Max to listen - I just didn’t want him to bother you on vacation.”

“Loren - it’s no bother - it’s a beautiful picture…I’m glad he sent it but I didn’t really understand…I mean, are you and his girlfriend hanging out or….like three of you or….?” William’s voice trailed off.

“No, I - not really. Estelle and I sort of kept in touch after we met that first time you brought me out at that lounge. I needed some advice from her and I reached out. Ended up taking some pictures at her little studio.”

William's nerves began to settle. He realized that he had a certain possessiveness towards Loren, especially a) when he was thousands of kilometers away from where she was and b) she was in close proximity to Max, his current teammate. Max had a "shared" experience with a girl that later dated William, which added to his overall unease.

Loren explained that an unsolicited and unexpected opportunity arose which just happened to be right up her alley. The catch, however, was that it involved Loren teaching French dialogue to mature students, which would be recorded and posted across a number of social media platforms. Loren was never one to post much online, and William saw the humor in Loren landing a job that would shove her completely out of her comfort zone.

Loren heard William laughing as she rhymed off every self-deprecating thought she had about being in front of a camera. She jokingly scoffed at William not to make fun of her as she laughed along with him.

Despite her own misgivings, the company that hired her was thrilled with what they saw, but they wanted Loren a little more "glammed up," so she reached out to Estelle to help balance her makeup with the ring lights used for recording content.

William asked how the company discovered her in the first place.

Loren sighed. "Oh god—it was Chelsea, my friend's daughter, who roped me into doing this thing for her new position at her work. She's the one who lent me all of those clothes—you know, that red dress and—"

William fucking loved that dress on her. "I remember it well—you surprised me in it one night… that was a fucking good night…"

"Mmmm… it was," Loren said affectionately. She remembered it well. too. William had invited her to stay after returning from a road trip to Buffalo back in late March. The minute William walked in and saw her in that dress, he bent her over the arm of his couch. It was the first time he had been more dominant with her, and she couldn't get enough of him that night.

Loren had to veer off the memory lane of past sex-capades with William and get back on the subject.

"I just—I have never really gotten into the whole influencer, content creation stuff… I didn't really realize how it all worked. I've known Chelsea for a long time—she's always asking to style me. When I agreed, she kind of interviewed me about the tutoring thing after I was all dolled up. She presented it to her company, they loved it and she got the green light to post it. One thing led to another and all of a sudden, I get hired doing this. It's unreal how quickly it's all happened."

William had a sinking feeling. Loren truly was a rare diamond, and he knew how lucky he was to know her. But with her beauty, both inside and out, she was going to garner a lot of attention online. William knew how unfair it was to feel this way, but he didn't want others to know how amazing and special she is—like she was this exquisite secret that only he knew about.

"So would I be considered a mature student? Could you give me a French lesson for free? Heading to Saint-Tropez in a few days so I could use some help," William smiled as he spoke.

"Mature might be a stretch—," Loren laughed.

"Hey now—be nice…," William teasingly warned.

"Hmmmm….knowing the things you’ll get up to, one phrase should suffice. I’m surprised it's not in your normal Saint Tropez repertoire. Ready? Okay - here it is. 'Voulez-vous… coucher…"

"Oh my fucking —come on…," William laughed.

Loren drew out every single syllable. "Avec moi… ce soir."

William could feel the heat rising in his face. She assumed he would be on some sort of fuck fest while on vacation. Maybe that was accurate once upon a time but not as much nowadays, and certainly not while he was with family.

"That hurts that you think that… I'm not with a different girl every day…," William played it off as a joke but it did hurt his feelings a little.

Loren thought about uttering one more jab, but he did sound a little miffed. "Sorry, just jealous I suppose… I admit it." William could hear her smiling as she conceded.

After ending the call with Loren, William felt the same unsettling sensation growing in his core. once again. He threw a few more items in his suitcase, closed it up and wheeled it aside while he tried to calm how aggravated he felt.

He sent a text to female friend from his Stockholm roster. A beneficial friend that he felt might help take the edge off.

He received a quick response. She’d be over in an hour.

—

The pairing between the Nylanders and Saint-Tropez is like discovering the perfect wine to pair with a gorgeous meal. Life is so good when they're together.

This year's trip to the south of France expanded beyond the immediate family and significant others. William and Alex invited friends to join them at various points during their stay at the villa. Alex had rekindled his relationship with his former flame, Isla, whose closest friends also arrived as part of the group.

Their place of sunny refuge was usually buzzing with people, either staying back to enjoy some peace by the pool or venturing into town for some shopping.

When "the boys" were there, they worked out together on the pool deck, every muscle group being worked—their darkening skin glistened with sweat in the sun.

When "the girls" were there, they lay in the sun by the pool, their perfectly formed ass cheeks tanned golden brown.

William generally kept his distance while harmlessly admiring Isla's friends from afar. Margot, one of Isla's closest friends, admired William too, but she made her intentions far more obvious than he did on a few occasions.

Isla was thrilled with the thought of Margot getting with William. One of her best friends with Alex's brother who was also his closest friend—it would be a dream. As they got older, they'd get married, children may come, their summers spent together.

Isla could picture it all.

Alex, on the other hand, tried to temper Isla's expectations. He was aware that William, who remained stoically single, might not have any long-term interests in Margot. After hearing how Loren stayed with William during his episodes, and noticing the way William looked when he talked about her, it was clear to Alex that his brother's interests remained tied to Loren.

Meanwhile, William was thoroughly enjoying his time with family and friends, but the inkling he had back in Stockholm—a feeling he couldn't pinpoint or define—would materialize every now and again.

When it was there, it nagged him… like the feeling of walking into a room and forgetting why he was there. There was no pattern or explanation that William could think of for why he sometimes felt a yearning for something that seemed to elude him.

Other times, he knew he was envious while watching Alex and Isla kiss and hold hands as they walked in town.

These unresolved feelings were what motivated him to put his guard down with Margot, allowing her to make a move late one evening in the pool.

Her advances were initially playful as she toyed with him under the water's surface. Soon, her hands moved more explicitly over William's swim shorts, charming his cock with the palm of her hand.

Mouths were soon attached to skin, breasts were exposed, and one need pressed firmly against another.

William followed Margot as they quietly made their way to William's bedroom. She had a towel wrapped around her lean, naked body while William had her string bikini wadded up in his hand.

Margot was young, pretty and slender—a description which seemed totally interchangeable with the females in Isla's friend group.

William lay on his back, naked—his erection levitated his cock slightly. Margot slid her body between his legs as she ran her fingers up his chest.

"I saw the pictures from your first vacation," Margot purred. "Loved your bare chest."

Given that William's chest hair was starting to grow back, he was confused if she was complimenting him or not.

Margot soon had William's cock in her mouth. She felt good, but the sound of her slurping seemed to increase and echoed throughout the room. William really didn't want anyone to overhear, so he gently asked Margot if she could go more slowly, to which she obliged.

William tried all of his usual moves to get the mood going within him. He smoothed back her hair as her eyes fixed on his while she sucked his cock. As he watched her, suddenly a flash of Loren's face exploded in his mind. William laid back, remembering how Loren's gaze was so hypnotic, it always rendered William defenseless as she took her time feasting on him.

William's mind snapped back to Margot as she rapidly stroked his shaft. He thought he heard her call him "Daddy," but he wasn't sure. He had nothing against being called that as a rule, but he was not in the mood for it right then.

Enthusiastically, she climbed on top of him, lowered herself down onto his cock in a slow squat using his outstretched arms for leverage. William's body bounced against the mattress as Margot whimpered, gliding up and down his cock. William cupped under her ass cheeks to help alleviate the muscle strain in her legs of each squat as her pussy slid up and down his shaft. Margot's long blonde hair looked like hand-spun gold silk as she threw her head back and continued to bounce on top of him.

Much like the slurping, the sound of skin slapping against skin seemed to reverberate rather loudly.

William propped himself up, allowing Margot to hold onto his shoulders and slide down his shaft while he began driving himself upward. The sex was quieter until Margot began to slap her own ass and moan.

William politely told her they had to be a little quieter. His parents and sisters were just down the hall.

Margot nodded as she switched from squatting to straddling his cock.

As she laid him back, another image of Loren appeared in William's mind. The memory of their last time together where Loren took complete care of him in every way. How she took her time, wanting him to feel the very heights of pleasure. And he did, with the two orgasms she skillfully coaxed out of him.

William's fingers tweaked Margot's nipples as she rode him rhythmically.

Margot began grinding furiously on his cock. She gripped William's wrist with one hand while stroking her clit with the other. She tried to stifle her cries as she clenched and quivered with the intensity of her release.

There was nothing William could do about the loud creaks from the bed or the panting from Margot after she climaxed.

If anyone does hear, maybe they'll assume it was Alex and Isla, William hoped.

After Margot's orgasm, she focused on William. She sucked, licked, and stroked his cock but frustratingly, his orgasm was just out of reach.

Taking a breather, she lay on her back stroking herself as William took the reins and began lightly and rapidly stroking near his tip. As he kneeled beside her, Margot smiled up at William, biting her lip as she played with her pussy.

The room was quiet, minus the sound of wetness from between Margot's legs and the distinct jerking motion of William's hand. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth as the pressure of arousal began to build.

He heard Loren's soft voice playing inside of his head. He would hear her say that she wanted so badly to taste him. She would moan his name, telling him how incredible he felt. She would breathlessly say how amazing he was to her.

He felt his orgasm taking hold. "Can you touch my balls—just touch them gently," William quietly instructed Margot.

That's what Loren would do. She had a natural sense of what would provide William the most intense pleasure, despite her limited sexual experience.

Margot began to fondle his balls and lick the tip of his cock as he continued to pump himself faster.

William's muscles around his torso began to clench as his orgasm hit and spurts of cum landed on Margot's cheek and lips.

She promptly wiped herself off with the bunched-up sheets that felt moist to the touch from their bodies' bliss. She stood up on the mattress, kissed William, and sauntered into the washroom to freshen up.

William sat at the edge of the bed, his cock softening as he focused on the light from the washroom.

This was the second time he had trouble finishing. He had faced the same frustration with the tryst he had in Stockholm before he left for Saint-Tropez.

He felt a deep-seated frustration now. This was not a Margot issue or his friend-with-benefits issue.

This was a William issue.

He pulled on his shorts and waited for Margot to exit the bathroom. He wasn't keen on having her sleep there—it would be awkward enough if they had been heard through the thick walls of their villa. Seeing them exit his bedroom together would add to the quiet and questioning looks he might receive from his parents.

Margot meandered back towards the bed with a fresh towel wrapped around her. "I probably should go back to my room. I don't know what everyone will think if they find me in bed with you tomorrow morning."

"Oh, yeah?" William made it sound like the same thought hadn't occurred to him. "Maybe, yeah… don't need to take the risk right now. Good idea." He smiled as she approached him, giving him a light kiss on the mouth.

"Thanks, Willy—that was fun… maybe we can figure out another time when no one's around before I leave?" Margot was hopeful she'd have another chance with him, but she wasn't going to hold her breath.

William nodded. "For sure we can." It was somewhere between a fib and the truth.

After Margot closed the door, William grabbed his phone.

Loren was all he had on his mind now.

He opened up YouTube and searched "Chelsea" plus "Loren Girard". He immediately got a hit.

William's eyes were glued to the screen watching as Chelsea, whose personality was as spicy as her wardrobe choices, interviewed Loren while her hair and makeup were done, adding an intimate behind-the-scenes feel to the segment. Loren was simply charming with her humble yet vibrant disposition, while articulating genuine and thoughtful responses.

William had expected to see Loren nervous about being in front of a camera, based on her own admissions. If she was nervous, it never showed—only her grace and poise were apparent.

At the end of the interview, they showed Loren in five outfit ensembles, all from budget-friendly sources. Loren made her little plug, encouraging everyone to keep the art of verbal communication alive in any language, and mentioned her tutoring venture as her last point.

The segment was exactly as it should be: informative, entertaining, and uplifting.

William rested against the headboard of his bed and looked back down at his phone.

It dawned on him what the feeling was that had been plaguing his mind—his insides.

He had to try and fix it and do something about it.

He swiped open his message app, found Loren's name and their last text exchange.

William typed in a simple statement.

W - I miss you so much.

—

Loren sat at her new-to-her desk that she had salvaged, repaired, and repainted with relative ease. Part of her new third job, which took up a minimal number of hours per week, was learning to edit the videos that she records.

While she replayed, layered, and snipped each recording, she snacked on her dinner, which was a small meal of avocado toast. It was far too hot to cook.

Her phone chimed right at the point where she was about to add animations to the reel. Whoever texted her would have to wait.

Loren sighed deeply as she turned her focus back to the screen. Replaying her segment, she tested some filters and made other enhancements until she was satisfied with the end result.

Once she clicked save on the final edit, she rubbed her eyes under the reading glasses she finally accepted that she needed. She stretched while padding to the kitchen and grabbed herself a vodka cooler from the fridge. She headed outside with her phone to enjoy the waning hours of the day with a cold drink.

She sat on the front step of her porch in the balmy evening air and took a long swig from the can. The carbonation made her hiccup loudly — she hoped her neighbors weren't outside to hear it.

Loren tapped the screen, and upon seeing William's name, her pulse jumped and her face flushed.

"I miss you so much." Such a simple statement, but the weight it carried was enormous. The words felt laden with sadness and regret. Words that Loren never anticipated William would ever feel for her, much less say.

Loren missed him too, but she had kept this knowledge as a safely guarded secret.

Letting him in on that secret made her vulnerable to more heartache in the future — she was almost certain of it.

Opposing thoughts clashed in Loren's mind, and she could not decipher if her worries were fear-based or just simple logic.

But this is William. William, who gave her a spark. Made her laugh until her sides hurt. Made her want to remain forever in his kiss.

Loren exhaled deeply and decided that when in doubt, stick with the facts.

Apprehensively, she responded.

L - I miss you too, William.

[cipheramnesia]

Part 4: A Midnight Summer Dream

a story by @rox-and-prose and @cipheramnesia

Luna was a pale sliver of paint in the stars, a slip of the brush in the forever of the sky.

"That's it," Michele Loren said. "This is where we head our separate ways for the moment."

Laika took her hand of the control vines for Genghis Khan as she stared wordlessly. The earth civ moon, original version, a system unto itself. She had devoured all she could find about Luna, the multifacet god, in hopes to understand the call she felt in the days after leaving home. She'd put the hope of seeing Luna with her own eyes at the bottom of a box and buried the idea. Her muzzle hung slightly agape as she searched for something momentous to say, to share with GK how much it meant to be in the here and now.

She noticed Sy was watching her, and the dryad smiled and glanced away when he saw her seeing him. She blushed and her face felt hot, and she forgot her train of thought.

"I never imagined I'd rob the moon," she said.

"You're only robbing a very, very small part of it," Cat Nguyen corrected.

The crew of the Paperclip were sharing the bridge of Genghis Kahn, with varying expressions of perplexity on their faces watching the werewolf executing the peculiar movements and footwork involved in manipulating the various switches and nerves and pedals essential to a Pilot. Even Doc seemed entranced, silent through all the system jumps, or structure solutions, or whatever GK liked to call them. All except Dandridge who returned to the Paperclip immediately in a sullen huff, vowing never to set foot on GK ever again. Laika was going to need to find out what exactly GK had done to piss him off so bad.

Now they were gathering up helmets and and gloves for their envirosuits, looking around for just the right way to excuse themselves from the room which Laika had seen enough of before she was eight to recognize. "Okay," Loren said. "Well, you know. This should go fine, just stick with the plan, keep it simple, you know."

"I can do better than that," Doc (Laika still hadn't figured out if the woman was Blake Sloane, or Sloane Blake, or something else), pushing her bracelets along with the sleeve of her purple, double breasted, knitted suit jacket. "I can stick the plan to me." There was a mess of writing which Laika deeply hoped was meant to look smeared and half erased on Doc's forearm.

"That's, that's a great- Good job Sloane."

"Doctor Blake, why can't you ever get my name right?!"

"I'm sorry. Doctor Blake. Fantastic work as always." Loren turned to Laika. "Look, I don't know how to uh. You know how much work this has been for me. Well, just be careful. Make sure next time I see you, you have the godseye or Doc, or both. Or don't let me see you again?"

"Is that a threat," Sy asked.

"Think of it as friendly advice," Loren said.

"And also as a threat," Nguyen added, despite Loren's sharp look. "What?" she shot back at his frown.

"Do I have do go with these guys?" Sy looked at Laika who said "no" at the same time as Loren and Nguyen said "yes."

"We'll keep our end," Nguyen said, "along with your friend. You keep yourself along with Doc."

"Who you wouldn't be sorry to see killed, I gather."

"We'd prefer she come out of this mostly intact," Loren sounded almost apologetic.

"Okay, okay, fine. Let's not draw this out, I get it."

Loren breathed a small sigh of relief and Nguyen just smiled. "We'll get going then," he said.

"Take care of yourself," Laika gave Sy a shoulder pat as he walked by, then impulsively pulled him into a hug.

"I'll be good," he said into fur. "You have the hard job."

"Pulling off the heist?"

"Being alone with, uh, the Doc."

Loren and Nguyen waited at the entryway to the bridge. Laika set down Sy from the hug and stood her full height. "Oh," she said. "Before you go? GK, please threaten them."

Its voice coming from nowhere as usual, GK said, "Thank you Laika, for this commendable request. Captain Michele Loren of the Paperclip, please prepare for receiving a threatening missive."

"What?"

"Captain Michele Loren, Pilot Cat Nguyen, and the remaining crew of the ship Paperclip not present aboard myself, I am placing you under the advisement that should even the smallest fraction of an injury occur to Pilot Laika Blackwood, or Sy Drangea, electrical engineer, I will track you to the end of earth civilization space, and to parts unknown. You will never know safety or peace for as long as you remain alive. I will find your dreams, and take them from you. There will be no power up to and including the total heat death of this universe which will stop me from extracting your lives in payment. If you die, I will find yours souls. I will tear apart the essence of your beings. I will disperse the electrons of your bodies into every star of this universe. I will burn your souls to ash. Nothing will remain. Please ensure Sy returns safely to me upon our next meeting."

Loren stared, open mouthed.

"Uh," said Nguyen, "You're... really good at that."

"Thank you," said GK. "Your praise is insignificant to me. Please have a safe trip."

[pinnithin]

on my second playthrough of dav. playing as an older nb he/him shadow dragon rogue named loren. having a lot of fun running around pretending im mentoring all these young people as a bitter, jaded elf who grew up in minrathous. picking the comedy dialogue option most of the time bc after seeing all the shit hes seen in his life all thats left is to laugh at the most inappropriate times. hes taash and bellara's quirky uncle. he sees a lot of himself in davrin. etc etc you get the idea.

im romancing emmrich this time and its really sweet. hes very proper. gives you flowers, calls you darling, takes you out for a nice dinner. took loren a lot of warming up to get to this point (being an elf from minrathous who mistrusts mages on principle, putting his cynical and negative personality up against emmrich's hopeful naiveté). i imagine lorens had a lot of flings but never something this romantic. theyre having a great time in the apocalypse.

but ive noticed the game just... expects you to be younger? its most apparent with varric calling rook "kid," which. okay i can make that work in my head. it seems just like him to make jokes about that to someone whos only a year younger than him.

everyone else? im?? theres several examples. harding mentioning that rook's "kinda younger" than emmrich, insinuating its a problem. emmrich himself worrying what others might think of their relationship, "given their ages." emmrich often and repeatedly calls rook "fresh-faced" when complimenting them. the list goes on.

im familiar with bioware writing being The Way That It Is, so im not tryna get into the root of the issue here. i just want to have fun with my little fake guy. so. to make this all not be weird im hcing that varric started the joke of calling rook "kid," and now the rest of the team is carrying on the bit because they know it irritates him. harding heard loren go "WE'RE THE SAME AGE, VARRIC" one time and was like oh im never gonna let him hear the end of this. and then she got everyone else on board with it.

[mrsdellamorte]

Codex Day 11: Letter from Rook to their love interest

A Letter to The First Talon

No drawings are on this sealed letter. The wax seal is stamped with ‘A.L.M’ for -Althea Loren Mercar- on orange parchment, with hints of lavender in the folds

Dear Lucanis,

As I’m writing this, you’re fast asleep next to me. You look so peaceful… beautiful even. You deserve that and more after everything you’ve gone through. Thank you for trusting me enough to see you this way.

The last few weeks have been so jarring between saving the clan, dealing with Aelius, clearing out Invenci and the Antaam-it’s hard to find a second to breathe. So, this letter is just to say thank you.

From the moment we saved you from The Ossuary, you haven’t left my side. I was nervous at first, that you felt as if you had to, like you owed me a debt. But now, looking back now, I’m so grateful you were there.

In the midst of all this chaos, with the weight of the world possibly ending, to know you were always within an arms reach or deflecting a blow I didn’t see, squeezing my hand through my panic-I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

And tomorrow, we face the impossible, stopping the gods at Tearstone Island. With you by my side I feel I can conquer anything, and I know you don’t do promises but… I will do everything I can to keep you safe. I vow that to you. We will make it through this together.

You have brightened my life in ways I can’t even describe. To know you is a joy, to be known by you is something I will never take for granted. You have shown me so much patience, love and care, and that extends to Amalia as well. Thank you. You always make things better whether you know it or not. I hope you do. Thank you for being you.

Tomorrow, I’m not sure how things will go, and just in case I don’t have the chance to say:

My heart is yours. It’s been yours since I saw you unlocking the gate in Minrathous.

I love you.

-Althea

[en-la-casademiamor]

The body always remembers, right?

He physically beat his success story and there was seldom any mercy to be extended. By the time he accepted in his old age that he would never get a gold star for his attempts to erase blood and history, it was too late to undo any of it. But before he understood his own demise, and the unpredictable nature of my expressions, he beat me to act out, just how much he resented his mestizaje. He beat me because at any moment, like a babalu, I guess, I could come out of the closet? Or out from beneath the bed. He hated himself while idolizing the wealthy white women we'd see on 5th ave, while simultaneously, may I say, speaking highly of Malcolm X. The brother was confused? Or do you see, can you admit by now?-- that this is a schism caused by a very sick society.

He literally commented aloud, that time while on 5th, something about white women never having cellulite. As if cellulite and being white were two worlds that shan't/ever could meet, and I said, excuse me? And right there, at a red traffic light between 5th and Lex, we fought. I was driving and I was never having any of it again.

My dad's favorite movies were as follows: Ragtime (whew, this one) A soldier's story (close second) The sound of music The ox-bow incident A raisin in the sun Imitation of life (he was covertly banking on this one) Battle of Algiers all the Italian anti fascist movies Sophia Loren starred in The Nuremberg Trials The prisoner of second avenue Dr. Zhivago Hello Dolly (favorite scene with Louis Armstrong) and Singing in the rain, but more importantly West Side Story. These movies are all pieces of a puzzle; shards of a broken mirror.

Every admission spoken to me or exposed through the arts was an absolute act of revealing the hypocrisy, the anger, and the taboo he suffocated on. Every bruise I subsequently acquired because of this has been my hard fought salvation, but too, my ultimate reclamation. These old bruises never go away. I know a lot of people would like to hear otherwise and maybe for some they do (?) That's not my truth. My bruises are not on the surface~surface. They have sank but through the strata within, transformed into hidden soul welts I polish up and tend to with gentleness. In my work, I've sculpted my fathers abuse, and the one perpetrated against him by his mother, grandfather, by his culture, government, patriarchy, religion, and by global history itself, into hopefully, something that looks like generational healing. Generational healing takes courage and vigilance. Getting back to Malcolm X--Somewhere in him, he must've known that I would one day read Malcolm X, and that in doing so, my father's life would be completely laid out. Because I was obnoxiously rebellious, I would read Malcolm at the breakfast table each morning, while he ate his cereal. He behaved, unfazed. Almost pleased. As much as he despised me, because I honestly think he did, he had me tag along wherever he went, for a very long time, even as he aged; and because of this, I got to live out vicariously how cheaply this society regarded him; how utterly dangerous it was to be someone like him.

I've logically surmised that my father would attack me as a means to kill his perceived racial hex, his tragedy, his limitations, humiliations, emasculation, the struggle against poverty, the demons that seem to closely pursue those labeled, "other" wherever they go. In my writing this, leaving it as a testament so that it can be its own thing outside my head, I need to also stress that he physically abused me too, to show me, as if it were an act of charity, how and why "they" beat him; and how and why they could beat me. Wherever you go, he would hammer in, you are not safe.

There is a legitimate price to pay if you want to be free, and free ain't ever free. It really is not. You have to literally claim it, take freedom into your chest and mark some boundaries. Sometimes all this looks like someone taking up space while out in public; and sometimes, when needed, that looks like someone baring teeth from feelings of indignation. I'm not a black woman, but I've paid an unforgettable price for the violent racial erasure that was played out through/against my body; and it's important for you to know reader, if you truly want to understand this sort of stuff, you can't turn away from these experiences. There are millions of us, carrying history like this as if it were a stillborn lodged between our hearts and our genitals. Knowing history does not diminish us. Think of it in terms of domestic abuse or any other kind of abuse. To heal from it, we must face it. A well spring of genuine love for humanity comes from doing this, I promise you. Nina Simone famously said, I'll tell you what freedom is to me: no fear! And that's what I want for us all. Forever and ever, until the end of time.

[fyeahgallifreyan]

Free png and source files for everything* on FYG

I'm obviously not active in the Gallifreyan community anymore and I'm not going to be doing anything with these files. So I figured I may as well make them all public for people to use however they want.

Commercial Use

While I am happy for you to use these files for what ever you want even if it's commercial please note that aside from my own Clockwork there are many files here that contain Sherman's/Sirkles and Doctor's Cot.

For Clockwork do what ever you want but credit to either fyeahgallifreyan or @timelordnicky is appreciated.

Sherman's is also free to use for any reason. To quote their own website: "The BBC has ultimate say over whether you're allowed to call it "Gallifreyan," but this writing system is free for all to use. Credit to Loren Sherman and/or a link to this page is appreciated."

The creator of Doctor's Cot statement on commercial use can be found here.

What is a .dpp file and how do I open it?

These are the original files from DrawPlus (the predecessor to Affinity Designer). They are vector files so you can easily edit and move things around if you want to. Full versions of DrawPlus are no longer legally available but the free version can be downloaded here. When I tried it it did ask to register but it worked with the Legacy Registration Key 881887. If you are still struggling to open a .dpp file you can message me on my personal blog @timelordnicky.

Will you proof read something for me?

Sorry, my Gallifreyan is very rusty at this point. I'm sure if you asked on the Gallifreyan reddit or discord another member of the community would be happy to help you.

*that I could find whilst sorting through my old hard drives

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam. Considering some recent posts I thought you might be interested in this article.

A deaf and blind mind: What it's like to have no visual imagination and no inner voice?

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-04-01/aphantasia-no-visual-imagination-inner-voice/103649486

Hope you enjoyed the long weekend! Cheers, Kate.

Oh, thanks for this! And apologies my response is like a MONTH LATE :D

It's an interesting article because it's more about the study than the topic directly -- which is not a bad thing, it's cool to see people working in that space getting profiled and hopefully getting attention/funding on account of it.

Especially interesting was the discussion of ways of "having" thoughts and the fact that Derek doesn't pre-hear his speech. I do actually often rehearse what I'm going to say but primarily, I think more like Loren, when I'm writing -- I may, for example, get a question on Tumblr and go about my chores for the next half hour kind of mentally laying out how I'll respond, but it's not like I hear my own voice, I'm just structuring the response. And I don't usually pre-hear spoken thoughts -- I don't pre-hear them at all, but if I'm going to give a presentation or have a difficult conversation I will often work out some modes of speech/response ahead of time.

I'm of two opinions about the reference to the mind being "deaf and blind" -- my knee-jerk reaction is that it's an actively bad way to describe aphantasia, because it implies that there's an impairment to cognition itself, which I don't think is the case. On the other hand, we don't think of hearing or visually impaired people as lacking senses, just as having a different experience of them, which does line up with how aphantic cognition happens, at least I think. It's true that unless I'm actively working at it, I don't see or hear anything in my mind, and even when I'm working at it I generally can't "hear" -- I can recite song lyrics mentally and they will be in the rhythm of the song, but I don't hear the music or the singer.

There's a highly stupid "test" that's gone around that's meant to indicate if you're transgender, which asks you to imagine a stick with a red end and a blue end, floating vertically in front of you, with the red end on the bottom and the blue end on the top. You're meant to imagine it rotating three times end over end, and then say what position the colored ends are in (which is on bottom, which is on top) after the rotation. Apparently depending on whether you have a "male" or "female" mind, you'll read "rotate three times" differently and a different color will be on top. This is self-evidently dumb but also when I encountered it I had to keep re-reading it because I couldn't picture something so abstract, let alone picture it moving, and I kept forgetting what was supposed to be where. Gender essentialism: defeated by neurodiversity!

In any case, I don't have the deep, profound grief that some people who were diagnosed with cognitive disability post-adolescence have, I think in part because my ADHD is mild and I did okay -- not great, but sufficient -- without treatment. But I do think that if I had been diagnosed with ADHD or known about aphantasia when I was a kid (not that it was conceptually present in the field when I was a kid) I would have probably gone into neuroscience or some related profession, or I would have stuck with my psych degree in undergrad. The longer I do this reading the more I wish I was working in that space. I don't think I have it in me to go back to school for a hard science, especially not if I continue working, but in a different world, I would have liked to have been a contributor to this kind of work.

[copiousloverofcopia]

Hey there Ghesties!

I don't feel much like celebrating Independence Day, but I always feel like celebrating Secondo so...

Thanks to my love ghestie @alaskarostova here is some Secondo x Loren continuation story (from my Papas In Love story, Let There Be Night) as the ghouls finally meet the twins!

I hope you all enjoy and thank you for staying with me.

Honestly, I have been struggling to find the desire and motivation...not to mention time to write as of late.

There is a lot going on in this Prime Mover's world, so it's been hard to write.

I appreciate you all so much!

*Art by my talented ghestie @sirlsplayland

The Sound of Purrs

Secondo and his Prime Mover, Loren, are exhausted in the morning hours following the birth of their twins Marianna and Christian. While the two of them revel in the bliss of their new family, a knock on the infirmary door will change Secondo's definition of "family" forever.

Also available HERE on AO3! Want to read the original story this is based on, go HERE!

Read below the cut!

It had been a whirlwind of a night. The sun, having just settled into its position in the sky. The morning light, shining through the windows in the infirmary. Settling warmly across the room, now still and serenely quiet.

Loren smiled softly, humming to herself as she awoke from a much-needed rest. The contented Prime Mover, holding her newborn twins closely in her arms. Her eyes falling over to her loving Papa, sitting on the edge of the bed—ever present at her side. Both of them, taking in the moment. Soaking up the warmth from the rising sound and feeling a sense of relief beyond measure.

This was a moment they both had waited for. One that they had never imagined in the beginning would ever come to them. They had gone through so much together in such a short time. Only a little of a year had passed since Secondo had called the timid Sister into his office. Offering her a change to have the child she always dreamed of. A business proposition that had manifested into more than they dare hope. 

Their tumultuous, but deeply felt, romance had led to a further complicated pregnancy. All of which had culminated in a precipitous birth. Triggered by an attack that Secondo blamed himself for allowing to happen. Thankfully now it was all over. 

Loren’s ex would be punished, lucky to still have his life, kept far away from the family they had created. Loren and Secondo, now finally able to relax. Both of them, smiling as they watched their little ones sleeping away in their mother’s arms. Small chests rising and falling as they filled with each breath—healthy and happy. 

The Papa and his Prime Mover were already completely enamored by them. Their pale skin, like porcelain—so delicate and unflawed. Each of them bearing their father’s right eye and a hint of their mother’s grace. It was only hours after their arrival and already they had become their mother and father’s reason for being. 

The couple’s starry-eyed wonderment came to a brief halt when a knock rang out from behind the infirmary room door. Secondo smiled over at Loren as he rose up from his spot on the bed. The indentation of his body, slowly disappearing as he stretched himself out. Still stiff and sore from having slept beside Loren on the less than desirable sofa.

“I’ll see who it is. You rest there momma.” he smiled, bringing himself down to kiss her. His lips placed gently atop the crown of her head. Taking in the sweet scent of her hair—a small memento to carry with him as he made his way to the door. 

“Ok.” she smiled back, letting out a gentle sigh as he pulled away. Walking slowly towards the door, carefully turning the handle before he attempted to open it. All the while doing his best to regulate the creaking. Hoping that he might keep the little ones in their slumber for just a bit longer. 

As the door came ajar, he could see a familiar face staring back at him. It was Earth, one of his most trusted ghouls, waiting for him in the hall. The ghoul’s ghastly eyes, glowing white with fear as he swallowed back. Gathering the nerve to speak with his Papa. After all, as with any other Papa, it was well known that his ghouls had a resounding respect for him. With Secondo however, it was also one that was laden with a healthy amount of fear and caution.

“Papa.” The ghoul spoke softly. The ghoul’s eyes, coming up to nervously meeting with his Papa’s. Earth could feel the intensity of his heart. Beating faster in his chest than ever before as he wished he hadn’t let the other’s talk him into being the one to address him. 

“What is it ghoul?” Secondo asked him, his voice filled with a familiar annoyance as he brought his hand up to rub at his tired eyes. The exhaustion of all that had occurred, finally having taken its toll. 

“It’s um…um…well the guys and I…” he began. Secondo was amused at Earth’s disheveled response. Noticing, the more his vision regained focus, that there was a cluster of ghouls—his ghouls standing there in the hall. Each of them; Air, Fire, Aether, and Water—all patiently waiting as he and Earth spoke. 

They all stood in a respectful silence. An expectation, and the decorum, they had all been well accustomed to since their summoning. Secondo noticed that there was something different about them today as he looked at them. Though it took a few moments, while Earth was still gathering his words, Secondo realized that all of the ghouls’ tails were slowly swaying. 

The side to side motion was a sure sign that they were happy—even more so that they were feeling excited. It was even more apparently with Aether, whose tail was practically wagging. The poor ghoul, too excited to fully contain himself. Secondo smiled, bringing up his hand to hold out before Earth. Stopping the ghouls stammering in its tracks as they all stood waiting for what their Papa might say.

“Hmm… Let me guess. You want to see them?” Secondo hummed, realizing what they had come for. It had been so obvious that the ghouls wanted to see the babies. Children they would help to protect and serve above even their own Papa. The future rulers and heads of the Ministry. 

“Yes… please Papa. We promise we will be so so careful.” Water assured him. Pushing past Earth to plead his case. The rest of the ghouls, coming to lean in. Waiting with bated breath to hear what he might say in response. Secondo surprised them with the raising of his brow and the pressing of his lips into a thin smile. His visage, both intimidating and worrying as he readied to answer them. 

Just before he did, however, he shocked them. Closing the door in Earth’s face. The horde of ghouls standing in shock out in the hall. Staring into the grain of the door as if it had mesmerized them—still realizing what had just happened. 

On the other side of the door, Secondo turned around to face Loren. His Prime Mover staring back at him in confusion. Chewing her bottom lips as her nerves mounted. “Sec…” she began before Secondo shrugged, giving her back a smirk. Hinting to her that he was only toying with them. 

“What do you say amata? Shall we let them see our prince and princess?” he asked her. Loren’s eyes lighting up.

“Absolutely. Let them in already.” she said, excited and smiling back at him. Trying her best to sit up in bed. Secondo opened the door again to find his ghouls hunched over and beginning to walk down the hall. Backs to the door as they prepared a return to the front of the infirmary. Guarding the newborns and their parents with a sense of devotion and loyalty.

“Cosa state facendo tutti? Entrate qui subito.” Secondo snapped, all the ghouls quickly turning back around to face him. Their fangs bared, but only in their grinning. Gleefully bounding past him into the room—all eyes fixed on Loren and the small bundles she held in each of her arms. 

“Buongiorno amici.” Loren said softly. Her face, glowing—beautiful and happy. All of the ghouls were amazed at how she could look so good after having gone through so much only hours before.

“Buongiorno signora, possiamo possiamo vederli?” Water asked, slowly approaching Loren’s left side. The four others standing close by Papa. Waiting for their turn to visit the babies.  

“Of course you can.” Loren responded, ready to hand little Christian over to him. The ghoul, carefully taking the sleeping infant from his mother. His nerves, firing as he caught sight of Secondo glaring at him. Cautiously standing by, his own nerves held on edge. 

Secondo, already struggling with having anyone other than himself and Loren hold them. Holding back on his protests and concerns. All the while, trusting his Prime Mover’s judgment that all would be fine in the end. Knowing that at this point in their lives, she knew the ghouls even better than him. 

It was in the first half of her pregnancy, when Loren had grown quite close with them. A hard time for everyone involved. The two of them at odds with one another. Something they both would rather forget. 

She was left feeling betrayed, alone, and struggling with the pain of what she thought she might never have. It was then the ghouls were there. Giving her the strength to continue on as a haven for comfort and support in her time of need. Shoulders to cry on and arms to be held in while she waited for Secondo to come to his senses. 

A struggle that thankfully soon came to an end. Managing to bring them all so close together that it was rumored the ghouls were now more loyal to her than even Papa. And while that might have been assumed as a serious transgression towards their beloved Papa, it was a fact that Secondo himself actively supported. After all Loren and their then unborn children meant more to him than his own life. He would have willed it so had it not happened organically. Loren and the babies' well being held above all else. 

“Go on you fools before I change my mind.” Secondo groaned as the others skittishly approached. Aether, finally stepping over alongside Loren and Marianna.

“Can I?” Aether asked, Loren nodding her head before placing her daughter in Aether’s arms. The ghoul cradled Marianna close to his chest. Feeling tears welling up in his eyes, and so worried that he might break such a fragile perfect thing. “She’s beautiful Loren.” he began watching as Secondo sent him a look. Hearing the ghoul speaking so informally to his Prime Mover. “Ah...I mean Prime Mover, of course.” he laughed nervously.

Quickly the rest of the ghoul came a bit closer. Air and Earth by Aether and Fire by Water. All of them, staring down at the small babies with such love in their eyes. It was only when Marianna began wiggling around in Aether’s arms that he freaked out. Jolting up a bit, and worried that he might have done something wrong. Wincing when he saw Secondo’s eyes growing wide.

“You drop her, I skin you alive ghoul.” Papa warned. Aether, instantly panicking as he quickly handed the infant to her father. Secondo let out a resounding chuckle, waking both the infants with his resonance.

“Now you’ve done it.” Loren laughed, watching as Christian awoke. Looking up unexpectedly into Water’s eyes. Readying the telltale scrunching of his nose and eyes pressing shut before letting out a tiny but powerful cry. 

“I think…I think I broke it.” Water said. His voice filled with some concern, but more so a playful sarcasm. Then, as if on instinct, he began swaying the baby back and forth. Gently moving until the baby had begun to settle once more. His little mismatched gaze fixed back on Water. 

Suddenly Secondo felt remorseful for having not considered introducing the ghouls before. Even more so for having been so harsh with Aether, not that he’d admit it to anyone but Loren. Keeping his thoughts to himself as his actions proved the Papa’s true feelings. Tapping the ghoul on the shoulder and motioning towards him with the baby. Aether was dumbfounded, looking into his Papa’s eyes for reassurance. Secondo nodded, handing him back his, now awake, newborn daughter. 

The ghoul was thrilled to have the baby back in his arms. Taking a page from Water’s book and swaying the baby gently as he walked. His tail, now fully wagging with excitement as he held her. Fire, Air, and Earth deciding to huddle close around Aether and Water as they held the babies. 

Secondo took his place back next to Loren. Allowing himself to rest beside her and trusting that she knew better than he about the ghouls' capabilities and tenderness. Loren was elated with the turn of events. Taking her husband’s hand in hers before pulling him down to kiss her. Aether and Water, carefully going to sit on the sofa across from them. 

At some point it became too much for them. All of the ghouls, unable to control their smiles—hoping that their fanged grins wouldn’t scare baby Marianna and Christian. To their delight the infants were completely unphased by their hellish appearance. Instead, they were engrossed with them. It was as if they had somehow could feel the ghouls' intentions. Their will and need to protect them from any harm that might come.

As the hell born creatures grew more comfortable with them, the nervous energy in the room began to dissipate. Carefully, and one at a time, the ghouls began taking turns to study them. Gliding their fingers across the babies’ chubby cheeks while marveling in their adorable features. Gently holding their heads, so tiny and sparsely covered in hair—being extra careful with their claws as the little ones wiggled in their arms. The ghouls, positively in love with each and every one of their little coos. 

These little beings stealing their hearts thought they had only known them mere minutes. The sound of their contentment, echoing loudly in the room. A smile spread wide across Loren’s face as the sound of purrs filled her ears. Secondo’s face however, filled with confusion. 

“What is that?” he asked, Loren looking up at him. Baffled that he did not know the sound of his own ghouls purring. She pulled his face to have him look at her. 

“Are you serious?” Loren asked, Secondo even more confused now than before.

“Of course I am…I would not have asked if I wasn’t.” he explained, unamused that there was yet something else everyone but him seemed to know. 

“That’s the ghouls Sec. They are purring.” Loren smiled, her eyes filling with tears. Gently rolling over her cheeks as he hugged him. “They’re happy.” 

“I…” Secondo began as he held on to Loren. The harsh realization, overtaking him, “I have never heard them do that before.” 

“Oh, my love. I have a feeling you will be hearing it a lot more from now on. Or at least I hope.” Loren remarked. Secondo kissed her deeply. Pulling away only to smile, foreheads pressed against one another. His Prime Mover then pulled even closer in his arms; Secondo looked over to his beautiful babies. Happy and safe in the arms of his ghouls—his beloved ghouls. His friends—his family.

“I hope so amore, I hope so too.” 

Notes:

Amata-beloved

Cosa state facendo tutti? Entrate qui subito- What are you all doing? Get in here at once.

Buongiorno amici- Good morning friends. 

[lorensonebraincell]

loren, my beloved.

do you know any atz!blogs that mainly write filth? i have hard thoughts like everyday (as well as being hrny 24/7 🥴) but your blog(s) are filled with ACTUAL writing (like scenarios and poetic writing, which I love by the way 😌) and i don't wanna disrupt that vibe (??) i'm SO SORRY for bugging you about something as stupid as this but please, i'm desperate (and horny 🙃)

-👾 anon (i couldn't help it, you already know who i am 😏)

can i just salute you and your bravery for ousting yourself like this (even though it was purely unintentional) 🫡

okay okay okay lemme plug ☝️👉 my mootie nat 👉 @nateezfics 👈👆👇 who is down BAD for captain (but honestly who isn't 🫦) her smut and hard thoughts good lord my brain go brrr

also, i haven't personally interacted with their works but from what i've seen from fic recs and reblogs, these writers seem to be really popular and excellent at writing smut sooo 🥵 @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @bro-atz @k-hotchoisan @beenbaanbuun @ja3hwa @kitten4sannie @byuntrash101 (if any of you tagged want to be taken off just lmk 🫶)

maybe if anyone else also has recommendations/self-promo they can comment below to help

[winterwolvesgames]

New Kickstarter’s last days and thoughs about Loren spin-offs

First of all, in case you haven’t been following me on socials and you missed all the spamm- ahem, promotion I’m doing, I have launched my new Kickstarter for the slice of life yuri visual novel Christine’s Care:

After a rough start, at the time of writing we’re very close to the base goal, but I hope we can reach at least the first stretch goal which will add a one-night stand scene with Donna:

Marlon, the muscular MMA fighter girl has already been added to the base game (and that’s probably what boosted the KS after a slow start).

In summary now we have in the base game the following love interests: Hannah, Liz, Marlon, a bonus triad route with Marlon and Liz, and if the first stretch goal is reached, even a one-night stand with Donna. Not bad for a “smaller game”. The story draft is already past 100,000 words as well!

Please visit the Kickstarter page and check the various updates, since I posted a lot of spicy stuff in form of sketches or sneak previews that you don’t want to miss!

Loren spin-offs idea

As you probably know I’m also working on my next big RPG game (which in this case also has town sim elements) Thieves Of Dingirra, and started thinking about the other Loren’s spin-offs left to do.

The current plan was to do 3 more games, with 4 love interests each, 2 “old” romances and 2 “new” romances. But then, I started looking at ToA: An Elven Marriage results, including lurking in forums to see what people thought of it.

In practice, by having only 4 romances, you can’t offer enough variety to players. I mean, if I make one of my “shorter” (still over 100k words lol) games, like the recent Lilith, because are all yuri, you have many love interests. But if someone is into yuri only (just an example, same thing works for yaoi fans or otome etc) even a big game like An Elven Marriage has only Lydia as love interest!

So I think the average sales of that game were mainly due to that – not enough love interests. I thought that by having much longer love stories could compensate it, and indeed many people loved the “romance extension” of Myrth and Rei storylines, but in the end for people who only play a specific route/romance combo, the rest wasn’t enough.

And so while brainstorming with other devs and fans on my Discord I thought: what if instead of doing 3 more games with 4 love interests, I do 2 more but with 6 each?

The idea is to remove the story set in the Amazon Citadel with slaves revolt, which is a good idea for two reasons: first it would be very specific, and I think hard to write or justify the presence of other characters inside the Citadel the whole time. Second, such a setting would have worked better for a simulation than a RPG gameplay.

So that’s an interesting idea, which I could always pursue later in another game with a different cast, or even same characters but using another artist to have more freedom (as you probably know I have the art needed to finish the sequels but Loren’s artist doesn’t work for me anymore so adding more characters/scenes is complicated).

It would leave us with two games, split like this:

Reign Of War

The next planned spin-off, in addition to Jul, Breza, Draco and Mesphit, there would also be two new characters: Selith (the half lizardwoman) and Odurat (half-orc).

Reign Of Peace

The last planned spin-off (I might change the name since the witches have a prominent role in the story), in addition to Loren, Karen, Amukiki and Chambara, there would also be two new characters: Samaras (originally a vampire, now I changed into something else) and Nook (shaman).

This way each game would have 4 bisexual characters (Loren, Amukiki, Mesphit, Chambara, Jul, Selith, Odurat), 1 gay (Draco, Nook) and 1 lesbian (Karen, Breza). Each game would offer same amount of love interests/romance combos.

Going from 4 to 6 love interests would mean more writing of course – but not that much, and I think from the marketing side each game it would benefit more (because it would be easier for potential buyers to find something for their tastes). Plus, it would mean the games could come out sooner – I know some people are eager to romance again their favorite characters from Loren!

Conclusions

For now all of the above is just me thinking loud, but the more I think about it, the more I think it could be a good idea. Of course, first I have to finish Christine’s Care, and next year Thieves Of Dingirra, so there’s time!

I’ll do my usual “end of the year review” blog post later this month, so for now that’s all!

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ gretagerwigsmuse Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

Our next Rewind is: @gretagerwigsmuse! Jordan, I'm so thrilled you wanted to participate in this series—thank you 🖤 I am also excited because there are quite a few creators that haven't been mentioned yet! We're spreading the love!

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

Let's keep this going throughout the summer. If you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

Also, Jordan is a true Bradshaw Baddie™, so this is a Bradshaw-only Rewind!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

‘cause no one breaks a heart like you, @heartsofminds i genuinely think loren ruined my life with this fic. like no exaggeration i SOBBED reading it the first time and it leaves an ache in my heart just thinking about it again! the reader here is so real to me, like i see myself in so much of her and her mannerisms and character traits and just want to love her and tell her it’s going to be okay. and then bradley??? god i can’t hate him. i really can’t hate him because he IS good and kind he’s just - he’s my this is me trying boy and i can’t wait to see what loren does with him next 

days like this, @sometimesanalice oh my god this fic really hits the spot for me. alexa you already know how much i love this fic. it’s sweet and smutty and soft and sad and beautiful and just is everything i’d ever want in a relationship. alexa’s readers, sweet girl in particular, are so real and have so much depth that they come right off the page and into my heart. through alexa’s writing, the reader’s struggles, despite not being something i’ve ever personally dealt with, were so easy for me to resonate with? and i just wish that whenever i had a shitty day i had a bradley as sweet and kind and supportive as hers to help me feel like i’m living in a van morrison song 

halo effect, @bradshawsbitch oh damn. this is a smutty smutterson kind of fic! BUT alex treats their relationship with so much respect and care. i’m naturally kind of wary of power imbalance relationships in fics, but alex made this feel real and plausible and that it was built on trust and respect. the repeated mentions of the conversations the two have re their relationship really made this fic for me and i think about it….often haha

in another life, @jupitercomet similar to loren’s fic, this fic (and series) hits so so close to home for me. i love how bugs tackles mental health in this one and honey’s very real reason for not thinking she should have kids. the relationship between bradley and honey - though not without its faults - is based on so much love and respect. the two of them imagining another life where they have kids and have this completely different future together is so bittersweet and soft 

inconceivable, @roleycoleyreccenter i feel like i cry reading half the fics on this list, but this is another one of those ‘i was crying so hard i had to get up in the middle of reading this to get a tissue and blow my nose’ fics. i love how much love they have for one another, but how stubborn the reader is (it’s not her fault tho!) and that bradley is so patient and kind and listens to her and knows her and her body and little idiosyncrasies (and the flight paths be draws on her back and singing love of my life and the fucking BINDERS and his READING GLASSES). i read this one a lot when i need a good cry but also a happy ending

miss you most…at christmas time, @notroosterbradshaw so obviously i love bradley and love from the boyfriend experience series, but this is absolutely my favorite entry from that series and i go back to it when i get too sad reading slow dancing in a burning room. this is one of those fics that feels so human and raw to me because it must be so hard to not have your husband around during the holidays, but tack on being a very very new mom? and your husband hasn’t even met your child yet?? god queue the waterworks! they’re so in love with each other and so irked by that damn navy and just want to be their own little family for the holidays!

new rules, @sushiwriterhere i love this trope so much and it’s done so well in this fic! bradley and the reader are ‘friends with benefits’ or so the reader thinks and wait actually do we go on friend dates or do we just spend all this time together because we’re in love?? i want soft tipsy warm bradley around me all the time 

the one where they go camping, @ofstoriesandstardust this is my favorite one of kylie’s fics off my favorite series of hers, flight risk. it’s so fun seeing sunshine and bradley pining after each other even in college and the whole uva crew is so awesome. like there is BED SHARING in this! i repeat BED SHARING! and longing glances and impromptu cooking lessons and lusty (respectful) stares in bathing suits and tears and misunderstandings. it’s just so cute i love it

you left your name on my lips, @blurredcolour honestly, this fic GUTTED me the first time i read it. i genuinely had to stop in the middle of reading it to text alexa to read it too. i just loved how realistic everything was like the level of detail that went into it was unreal! i went to college in dc and absolutely felt like i was back there during certain parts. and the letters?? oh my god the letters!!! bradley bradshaw you are a dreamboat in this fic 

wish you were here (part 1, part 2), @pisupsala i know a lot of people have recommended ‘one for the history books’ (would like to shout out that i was an og reader on that one tyvm!), but this two parter of bradley and darcy is my absolute favorite. i just am continuously in awe of their relationship and how real it feels to me? i love that not everything is perfect and happy go lucky all the time just because they’re together now? like darcy is allowed to be mad bradley isn’t around a lot to help her settle into their new house, they’re both allowed to be fallible and to me that’s what makes this the perfect series and fic? they’re real and honest and they love each other so fucking much and hang shelves together in the living room and fly halfway across the country to be there for their wife. they’re one of my fave oc/reader couples

Creator’s Own 

i have a huge soft spot for my fic (christmas) baby please come home. in addition to being an amazing darlene love song, i really liked exploring a different side of bradley and smart aleck’s relationship in this fic and felt like this was one of the first times i’ve really gotten into her head. plus, i love a good party and this one was so fun to map out ☺️ it’s also the start of a new era for bradley and smart aleck and one i’m continuing with my next fic rocketman! 

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @roosterforme @cherrycola27@galaxy-of-stories@taytaylala12 @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

who knows, maybe i'm a glutton for lengthy written pieces of fiction but i can't imagine anything better than reading a thought-out, detailed and intriguing story.

20k-30k wc usually takes me around 2 hours to read (when i am not annotating on the side or running laps in my room to calm down from a scene) and even though i do love me some drabbles, imagines or scenarios - sometimes they're so great but oh so short that i end up feeling hungry for more lol.

idk. maybe there is some over-consumption or fast-media issue that's infiltrated even the fanfic community and readers feel less overwhelmed reading fics under 10k? apprehension giving bad/wrong feedback? author burn-out? somebody go ahead and open the field for research already.

there is an overwhelming amount of short fics daily on my dash and not so often bigger oneshots or even series but i've always assumed it's because they take so much more time and effort into creating - which then motivates me more to leave nice feedback when you authors work so hard on them :) vice versa it's a nice feeling when authors take time to acknowledge feedback

like you saying you look forward to my reblogs and i'm over here like.. i have been noticed 👁️👄👁️ and i am being relied on to lose my own mind over your amazing mind. i can't disappoint this co-dependant author-reader-ship 💪 /j

also, miss "yumi in her break era" only five days ago, once again offering to write a fic to my tastes?! you will be the death of me. hand in marriage right now 🤝 /j but also, new series.. ? ✍️👀

○ chron 🃏

lucky for you, i'm physically incapable of writing short fics and loren is an actual witness. whenever i start a fic and go 'yo this actually be short like under 20k) it usually ends up being 26k+ 🤡 and tbh for me personally nothing can top a well-planned detailed fic no matter the length of it!

you're right! there's only so much you can do in a short scenario/imagine/drabble they're like fun little treats, kind of like appetisers/snacks as opposed to lengthy oneshots which i feel like are a full multiple-course meal (and then we have series which are like a whole buffet banquet feast you name it)

yeah there are a lot of factors. even as a writer i know that i prefer reading sth short when i don't have much time to spare but want a little break. reading lengthier works require a lot of time (like you said, about 2 hrs) and you gotta be in the mood all cosy and relaxed to fully enjoy them!

there's def so many shorter works being produced in huge quantities and consumed very rapidly too. writing them takes less time, you don't gotta work out so many details and lose your mind in the process (from my experience writing the few hcs and drabbles i have) and it's... fun? gets a greater audience, more notes? definitely. there are literally so many factors as to why people prefer writing/reading scenarios/drabbles over the lengthier works and i could honestly list them all but i feel like not everyone wants to hear that 💀

personally, i've been pretty consistent with writing the lengthier works, inspired by ppl here who've written so much such excellent monster works AHAHA and since the lengthier fics culture is pretty much dying (let's face it on tumblr it is dying slowly but steadily) i'm devoted to continue contributing to that specific part of the atinyfic community. i could always cook up some short scenarios (i plan to when it's time to retire but i still have ideas that i wanted to write) but for now, we write and write. we write endlessly without a care for the word count :')

there's honestly nothing wrong with wanting to read or write shorter works. i just wish the people who work so hard to create such beautiful and lengthy masterpieces got the attention they deserve. and i wish they do not compare their works to drabbles/scenarios (which you might have observed get a lot of notes in a very short amount of time) and continue writing for themselves and for the readers who appreciate them :')) we're always so incredibly grateful for the feedback we get bc we get some great quality feedback which is our pride :D

you have been very much noticed! me and loren were actually talking not too long ago about how you are one of the few ppl whose reblog we anticipate eagerly ahaha you've spoilt us honestly :') and when i saw your reblog last night (i was feeling incredibly low) i just smiled with tears in my eyes LOL ngl (co-dependency atp fr fr)

miss yumi has always been a clown who goes back on her words esp when it's about taking a break (i actually will be taking a two week break soon like actual break bc i'll be travelling so i'll be back mid aug) but miss yumi also loves writing bc it's the only interesting thing going on in her life and she would love to write for you too (proposal accepted let's pick dresses now :D)

as for the new series... 👀 the current word count is about 70k and i'm not even halfway- this might be the most intricate worldbuilding i've ever done like with the characters and how they're connected to each other (on par with take me home series, might even surpass) and it's... mafia! but the different kind, uniquely yumi LOL and the pairing hmm will remain a secret (take your guess come on)

i look forward to posting it so much it's become my comfort fic. i'll try to start posting it before 2024 but no promises yet bc i wanna finish writing it (or at least nearly finish) before i post the masterlist or teasers.

[puckish-thoughts]

So I'm not dead, apparently (I sometimes have to check, myself)

On a whim, on New Year's, I dug out my lists of blogs, old Gaia accounts, and email accounts, and tried logging into them all...only to realize that this is too much work, I don't know why I've spent the last 10 years making things hard for myself

Like, you have to log into an email account every 2 years so it doesn't delete itself? What's up with that? And if you fail to do this for a Yahoo mail account, it will FORCE you to re-make your email address at a myyahoo.com url INSTEAD of a yahoo.com url, making password recovery ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE--fun fact, tumblr WILL make you change your password if you haven't logged in in a while, so basically whatever password you had previously is MOOT and then it'll send a password recovery email to an email address that NO LONGER EXISTS--

So uh, I'm DONE with yahoo email accounts FOREVER lol.

And since I can no longer log into a giant swath of my old archived blogs, I requested for tumblr support to suspend the accounts lol. And then for the first time IN MY LIFE I actually DELETED a couple of my old blogs. Me, who never deletes anything. Honestly it felt pretty good, instead of committing to YET ANOTHER year of having to re-log into fucking everything to make sure it isn't expired.

So TL;DR it took me five days, but I went from 21 tumblr accounts (not blogs, ACCOUNTS) to 11, 18 Gaia online accounts to 10, and 42 email addresses (that I've ever created, in my whole life) down to 29. One hell of a culling.

"But Elf, what you have left over is already so many" leave me alone I'm doing my best here.

Oh also for those of you who care I've updated my list of RP blogs that I have linked on this blog's front page. It's been over a decade since I created most of those blogs, so needless to say, my muse/ability to write more than half of those characters is Fucking Gone lol. This all to say, at this point in time there's only ever going to be a a hope in Hell of me ever posting again on: Maglor, Vanitas, Ikki, Will, and Lorene. If you want me to dig out any of the other blog muses that I used to have and RP with me, you basically better hope we're already friends on Discord, cause that's the only way it's going to happen haha.

Cheers, and Happy Calendar New Year.

[curiousdamage]

What inspired you to write for Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? Can you tell me more about your OC? I'm planning to start reading your story soon.

I used to watch the show with my parents. It was our thing. Then I found it again on FreeVee, and was watching it when I was reminded of a plot bunny I had before I even knew fan fiction was a thing, lol.

In the episode 'Happy Birthday' one of the main town characters, Jake, gets alcohol poisoning and in the midst of having hallucinations from withdrawal, confesses his love to Dr. Mike.

She looks concerned that he said that, but Loren and Sully who are there as well, shared an almost guilty look, like they knew something she didn't. So the plot bunny 'They know who he was really talking to' was hatched.

Annabelle Bray Slicker:

Annie is Loren and Maude's younger daughter, Abigail's younger sister, making her Sully's sister-in-law as well. Annie grew up in Texas where Loren ran his parent's store.

When she was 14 and Abigail was 15, their family moved with Loren's sister, Olive and her husband, to Colorado. She worked in their store there, as well as help Olive and Henry out at their ranch.

She has/had a contentious relationship with Maude who didn't always treat her so kindly due to the fact that Annie bears a strong resemblance to Maude's sister Dorothy who courted Loren until she ran off with another man. Maude would make disparaging comments about her looks often, or that Annie would be an 'old maid', but then was unhappy when she met Jake as well.

She met Jake when she was 16 and he'd first come to town. They courted off and on for a few years, his drinking was hard to deal with, before eventually eloping when she was 19 and he was 22.

She and Abigail were very close and Abigail's death devastated her. She struggled with grief, trying to help her parents, and Jake started drinking again.

After a fight with him, she tells him that if he doesn't stop, she's leaving. Then she has a nasty encounter with Maude and leaves, going to stay at one of Olive's ranches in another state.

She's still there when the story starts and Sully demands that Hank go and get her in case the worst happens.

Sorry for the novel! I hope you enjoy it, but no pressure!

[warningsine]

Wake me up when the awards season ends, but also here are my faves:

Outstanding Drama Series: Succession will win and rightfully so, but Better Call Saul went so hard as well.

Outstanding Comedy Series: The Bear.

Best limited/anthology series: Beef.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series: Either one of the Succession guys (preferably Kieran Culkin this year) or Bob Odenkirk.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Sarah Snook. Not even going to debate this one. Season 4 was hers.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Jeremy Allen White.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Natasha Lyonne.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Matthew Macfadyen.

Why was Nicholas Braun even nominated this year?

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: No offense to J. Smith-Cameron and the White Lotus ladies (Jennifer Coolidge, the icon that you are), because they were all lovely, but Rhea Seehorn deserves it this year.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Ebon Moss-Bachrach

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Ayo Edebiri

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Steven Yeun

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Ali Wong

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series: A toss among Mark Mylod, Andrij Parekh and Lorene Scafaria.

Outstanding Directing for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Lee Sung Jin. But Jake Schreier will do too.

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series: Wow, an embarrassment of riches. Jesse Armstrong for "Connor's Wedding" of course, but Gordon Smith (for "Point and Shoot") and Peter Gould (for "Saul Gone") come so close.

Outstanding Music Composition for a Series: Nicholas Britell.

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Toss between Hiam Abbass and Harriet Walter. Probably the former this year.

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Judith Light.

However, give Cherry Jones all the awards for her own appearance on Poker Face. Amazed she was nominated for Succession, but not Poker Face. She ate.

Outstanding Cinematography for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Jody Lee Lipes