#loosewords

[tobedetermine2020]

In my future there is you but in your future you are not please can you believe in you at least half of what I believe in you.

I love you and you matter to me.

[touchingisano13]

I looked in the mirror and could not tell who as staring at me. I have seen the same face when I wake up every morning of my 18 years of existence, yet today I had no idea who I was. I looked at the girl, the sunburnt cheeks, the thin scar above her right eyebrow, the acne along the side of her face, and yet I could not recognize my own face. I didn’t see myself. I saw a girl who was liked and appreciated, but that wasn't me. That wasn't me at all. I was a despicable person with no hope and it terrified and shocked me. Why could I not recognize myself. Why could I not see that that was me. Why was she crying? Was I making her cry?

I looked at my reflection wondering how the hell I got here. How I got to college, how I got to doing the few things I love most: Learning and playing Soccer. how the hell did a skinny, bowlegged, obnoxious, acne ridden teen like me get to be in such a good spot? 

I looked at my reflection and thought, who is that? That isn’t me. My rational side said yes, yes, that's you. But I said no. No that isn't me. I am not that girl in the mirror that girl in the mirror is not me I am not her she is not me I am not a person I am a shell. We are not the same, I had no idea what I was doing leaning over the tiny sink in my dorm room, searching for answers in this strangers face. I was looking for something anything, one resemblance between what I felt like and what I looked like. 

I felt scared, exhausted, worried, confused and pained

I looked fine. It was just another face in the millions out there and it was no different than the others. I had nothing that made me stand out. No defining features. I have nothing to make me be seen, and it terrifies me that I will never be seen. I so desperately want to be seen and appreciated, to be liked and to be someone’s friend. Someone that can be a shoulder to lean on. instead I am just an invisible thing that stands in the corner with no one to talk to, no one to notice that I am uncomfortable and in pain. 

I know I am being selfish - I want this and that and this when I have so many things. But I don’t want to be lonely anymore. I want to recognize myself and be proud of my reflection, and of what others will see. I want to be a good person. I want my reflection to match what I felt. To be happy - truly happy - and not have to worry about the black coiling snake that squeezes my heart and insides. To want and be wanted. To love. To cry. To see. To feel. To be me.

[woodsofholly]

Teeth rest on my endless tomb, looming over me as a single thread noosing my loose mind. Soon my words will be dead, bested in my open bed, corked inward the heart finds. Found nothing but buried secrets, let meekly the windows to widows find not works of kings, so lost in their morrow burned away from time. Without pity tock of the empty city, my loves tell tales of only crime. Death bring me to that open door, and let life close it behind.

[iamheadrush]

Back in the den but we still going wild. Banging on the walls of Zion, we bring the war. Loose forms in high alert like bank alerts. The city under duress, we on the up rise, the streets' changing address. Check out my tees.... Thanks to @iam_darkpearl of @houseofpearldern #babcockuniversity #loosecannon #backintheden #goingwild #goingbanana #zion #bringthewar #highalert #bankalert #loosewords #uprise #streets #iamheadrush (at Babcock University)

[tobedetermine2020]

I will

Learn a thousand leanguages just to tell you how much I love you.

[tobedetermine2020]

I meet my very own personal Job yes the one and only Diablo has touch his life in so many ways but He is still up and running but Job don’t know that Jesus is the only keeping him in one piece. I hope I can help him to realize is nothing but Jesus son of God that don’t allow the Diablo to take his life.

[tobedetermine2020]

Some nature

Mother Earth give her face to humans and humans abuse her so she decide these days she will keep her eyes close and set them free . She has quite and we are at the end of what she left for us to enjoy

Please wake up ,!

[tobedetermine2020]

Both of us yarn for a happines that may come from the outside without knowing that we can revive happiness in an empty house.

How sad would it be the have a vest in our home and not be able to sit in our living room and share a cup of coffee.

Where laughter will sit and joy where she will rest after the huge trip she has taken to come to our hous.

Let’s biuld our house, furnish it with our own decor and then search for happines to make her our main guest.

But let us do all this together because my love I do t want to take a step with out you. I love you and I want you with me.

[tobedetermine2020]

I’m a pro at hiding

I learn how to hide my crying, then I learn how to hide my feelings, also how to hide my smile, I can even hide my love for you and never let you know I still love you.

I forgive you but I can forget you hurt me and that I won’t hide even if I have to I will never let you forget you hurt me

[tobedetermine2020]

Mi vida se ve cada día más bonita contigo a

Mi lado ... gracia

[tobedetermine2020]

Today

Growing up my trust was hurt so much to the point of disaper. I been living in today since then, believe in promises is a expense I can’t afford. Therefore I only live in today.

[tobedetermine2020]

It is not !!

Love is not a flower

Love is not a seed planted

Love is not a ray of light that comes and brighten your life

Love is you and I have you on my life, love is all that I ever wanted and I didn’t know. Love didn’t exist before and now you are here and that for me is love.

[tobedetermine2020]

Facts

Ypu: you are mean!

Me: i know

You: but you were not.

Me: i know

You what happened?

Me: Life

You: silence !!!!

[tobedetermine2020]

If perhaps we would take the time to untangle our love, maybe just maybe... Who knows ?

[tobedetermine2020]

Not really

Poetry don’t have to make sense, been crazy don’t really means to be out of your mind.

What it means the world to me dont have to even matter to you. So just love me please ?

[tobedetermine2020]

No more tears

O though my eyes were empty from crying because of you. But we talk and I though everything was fina and them you left again and I felt tears rolling down.

Now I know you just came back to refill my eye, I been a fowl all this time, boy I should know it. But after all as always I had fun now I’m paying for it.