#loosely based on my own real life experiences with my own friends

[fried-manto]

Little au I'm working on ^^

[bloominglegumes]

earthspark season 2 head in my hands,,,

maybe ill delete this later but i want to just get some thoughts out

spoilers below

ok i absolutely love what they set up in season one, every member of the malto family was used so well to compare and contrast with the experiences of the cybertronian characters familiar to us, these tired war veterans and resentful past allies ,,, like one of the big ones in my head right now being their choice to use bumblebee, The Kid Appeal Transformer, making him switch out of being a soldier and into a mentor (not sergeant, not commander, just unqualified older sibling-type position) for a herd of kids who have practically no concept of war and its implications was so so juicy. it's been repeated in practically every bit of transformers media ever that bumblebee is the designated little guy, the friendly one, the autobot who most easily makes friends with aliens, we've seen it in g1, in idw, in bayverse, tfa, tfp, cyberverse, i'm sure there are more versions that i can't think of at the moment

what they did to bumblebee in earthspark was essentially still put him in this best friend role, but the twist was how bumblebee did not even want to be there and didn't know a thing about kids and i loved it and i know many other people loved it as well.. even if the earthspark characters were roughly developed from their g1 base, this bumblebee was so clearly more used to being on a battlefield than just hanging out, he struggled with interactions that weren't like the 'ready to jump into a fight in an instant' dynamic that he was used to, though still having that sort of fuzzy playfulness that bumblebee is always written with ykyk

i think the writers made some really fascinating choices in taking some darker elements like in the idw comics and sort of filtering it for the audience through the malto family, but not baby-padding the real emotions behind the characters' experiences if that makes sense?? take megatrons grief and guilt for instance, the presence of the kids didn't diminish the reality of what he'd done or the consequences, but they sort of worked like a frame to have megatrons actions recounted in a particular direction. thrash's unwillingness to deal with the aftermath of a war the terrans had no part in was so.so real, ik i say it all the time but it was, the characters and the relationships between them were written with this real and intimate nuance that i really wouldn't normally expect from a show targeted for kids, not to mention the very clear and loving representation for poc, lgbtq+ identities, immigrant experiences, disabled ppl,,,

dont even get me started on the visuals, the sound design, the animation quality,,, i've only loosely been in animation college for a bit, i know there's still so much i don't know, but for sure i feel like earthsparks quality was pretty insane for regular series episodes

plus their character designers knew what they were doing + went so hard in the best way,,and the action scenes were beautifully choreographed, every character had their own unique movements and fighting style (think of the soundwave fight in decoy or megatron + optimus against skywarp + novastorm in age of evolution) in a way that i think definitely rivalled tfp in its intricacy and life-feeling. the camera work was stunning, the acting was on point and consistent for each character, the 2d effects were vibrant and gorgeous and so full of life, i'd say earthsparks effects are one of its most distinct stylistic choices and its so so excellent and i adore every smoke cloud and smear and electric zap and ghgruhgf

which is why it breaks my heart seeing season 2 open with such a noticeable decrease in quality,, breaks my heart that they didnt receive enough of a positive reception or whatever exactly it was that led to the earthspark team having to trim down and cushion their story

i still think earthspark is a really fun transformers show with a delightful cast, amazing voice actors, and i don't want to bash any particular member of the crew for things beyond their control. there's no doubt in my mind that the current team on earthspark is full of incredibly skilled artists, and i'm sure many people, including myself, will continue to enjoy the series going forward,, i'm just. disappointed that its not the best that it could have been.

a lot of season 2's writing just felt like.a regular kids show??? feels almost similar to cyberverse's fluctuation in tone throughout each of its seasons, s1 was full of generically-kid-friendly humour and gags, then sort of shockingly plummeted into that whole arc with starscream and the allspark monsters,, like, either direction would be fine and fun, but it's just the sudden change that makes it oofy for me ;-;

from just looking at the visuals, the character animation is less crafted and careful than it is in season 1,, i can really only describe it as it now being closer to what i'd think of as 'regular tv animation, made to be released on a schedule', rather than 'oh my god look at that secondary action replay replay now'. the characters movements are stiffer, less weighted, less natural-feeling, and if you're looking for it, it's clear where they loop animation or sort of sneak their camera shots to simplify actions, like a few fight scenes that had sections simplified into slowmo hit poses rather than being fully animated,, again its more or less fine for any other tv series, but it just feels off after being used to the look we had in s1

then the character animation goes hand in hand with the character writing + the dialogue, also just feeling like a lot of the original story they wanted to tell has been padded up and swaddled with more lighthearted, universally acceptable, safe plots. the goals and obstacles that came up in each episode didn't have the same emotional depth as in s1, where the main leads of each ep gained some sort of insight after their experiences + had some sort of vulnerability exposed, yknow yknow??

there are still traces of some juicier bits in there, like for instance i really like the section with the quintesson executioner causing mo to begin doubting quintus prime's intentions, then later the titan being all 'quintus is a prime and you should respect him' in a decently menacing way,, and i am glad that they had hashtag call out starscream and reminded him of their earlier conversation, i really hope they do something with those, but my point still stands that there were few parts of s2 i felt had some deeper meaning that can be built upon in the future.

i feel like the decision to make a timeskip was somewhat of a cop out as a means of explaining away how robby + mo have full control over these cybersuits now, how the maltos aren't shown having any more intra-family or identity-related conflict, how the decepticons all decided to follow starscream and go right back to fighting, etc etc, like 'oh well a year passed, things happened, this is just how things are now' like??? what happened to all that delicious heavy emphasis on growth and the choice to become better as a person and connecting to other people that was in s1,,

i know the decepticons wouldn't all have suddenly decided to buddy up with the autobots, but timeskipping a year and just reverting to the typical autobots vs decepticons dynamic we've had forever, without ever again really showing the thought processes of any of the characters in depth regarding the return to hostilities, when they just spent the whole previous season establishing how everyone is handling the aftermath of the war,,,, its like they've suddenly been turned back into generic cartoon villains instead of the unique individuals with their own thoughts and motives that they were introduced as,,

[diverting for a sec here im also just so sad that theres been nothing to fuel my enjoyment of megatron being very estranged from his high command,, barely anything to fuel the divorced-remarried 3p megoplita dynamic like,,,,, starscream praised soundwave and shockwave both individually, op and megatron had another one of those finishing-each-others-sentences moments, op called his and elitas relationship "complicated" and i love that, but please i'm begging here elaborate,,,give me more drama to work with,,]

even when there are like.objectively horrible scary things happening, like mo going 1v1 against the quintesson, cosmos being fully conscious trapped in alt mode for 15 years, jawbreaker essentially fusing with aftermath and getting betrayed and all their cavewater stolen (is that not an issue??) ,, i feel like the characters are remarkably.unreactive???? maybe its just another timeskip cop out, ~a year has passed so they've gotten used to it~, except they all still clearly behave like the children they are,.

and it seems to be turning earthspark from being, in my opinion, one of the most emotionally charged + mature transformers series out there rn into just. i'm going to say it again, it's just starting to feel like a generic kids show, unless whoever controls this show at hasbro can get it back to the high standard it started itself at.

i've read news of nightshade's pronouns being cause for negative reception, and some reviews of s1 say earthspark is too 'woke', that kids shouldn't be watching shows pushing that type of agenda. i'm not sure if that's the main reason for this big change in s2 for the much 'safer' writing, or if there's more that i'm just not aware of right now, but like. man. i hate.creativity trying to survive capitalism the show is about love and family and cool robots wtf is wrong with people who genuinely hate that

i know i won't make much of an impact with just this post, i doubt anyone is still reading this,, but seriously, earthspark is clearly a love letter made by tf fans for tf fans, in such a wonderful, gorgeous package, and it really breaks my heart so much to see all the great things established in season 1 practically go to waste. i haven't said this enough before, if you enjoy earthspark, please support it through official means however you can, leave good reviews or buy their stuff, just let the decision-makers know they can profit from making this show better,, i really hope it survives to complete the story they want to tell

[1111jenx]

Jen haiii I missed you so much. Gurl tell me some chart placements that have completely altered your previous views on them after meeting irl. Stereotypes about signs you've found completely wrong after getting to know them. I'm dying to know the placements that truly shook you to your core, comparing your astrological studies and real life experiences with them.

Hi love,

I'm literally that one person that will ask for your birth time, birth date and location after 5 minutes of meeting yk so trust me when I say, I do have many stories to tell LOL. Before I start tho, I do need to mention that this is based off my own experiences purely and again, this is just for fun:D So please enjoy this post and let me know what you think in the comment<3

Mini Interesting Astrology Observations

- stereotypes vs. irl edition

— The amount of time I heard people telling me that Leo Rising is a ray of sunshine when in reality they can be, however not at first 100%. The way they come off are extremely practical, even a little bit distant at first. They have this powerful yet quiet aura to them. What I would say tho is that they enjoy the company of people who feels like sunshine, its just something about goodness in people that gets to Leo Rising. They adore a sweetheart always.

— I would even go as far to say that all Fire Rising initially have a hint of distance. Aries Rising can appear intimidating, truly living up to their stereotype with their nonchalant demeanor. But beneath that exterior, they possess genuinely kind hearts, though sometimes their delivery might be a bit raw. Leo Rising commands respect with their mere presence. Sagittarius Rising aligns closely with their stereotype, but remember the Water 12th houses of the Fire Risings:.

Pisces 12th house - Aries Rising: Hiding their unselfishness and uncondinational side to protect themselves.

Cancer 12th house - Leo Rising: Hiding their nurturing side and soft-heartedness to ensure they're respected or perceived in a serious way.

Scorpio 12th house - Sagittarius Rising: Hiding their devotion and secretive side out of fear of being taken advantage of.

— Libra Moon is an extremely interesting placement for me to see. People usually think they're pushovers typically but like.. lets be for real. They're just nice and they like to be perceived that way. But the second they can sense that hint of disrespect, all hell break loose LOL. They're extremelyyyy opionated people and for them, respect is something they believe they have worked very hard for. Mediators at core though, always see different sides but doesn't mean they can be one of the most stubborn people ever :)

— Scorpio Venus justifying their intense feelings is the funniest thing ever. They can 100% be very devoted in relationship but the thing is, a lot of Scorpio Venus are never ever gonna give themselves to you if they sense that you're not committed to them or even the little hint that you're not in it for real. Remember, this is a Scorpio placement we're talking about. Their pickiness can even outshine Virgo Venus on a good day. The type to genuinely stalk your socials and disappear at the blurriest red flag. For them to take you seriously, you have got to be all about them in every single way, they don't want that fleeting romance, when they're in, they're in. Playing games might be fun at first for them but they're are not going to be around to entertain anything as such for long.

— Sun conjuncts Venus gets along so well with women. A lot of their friends are usually women and it seems that they just know how to put people at ease. There's an energy of almost androgyny about them in the sense that they have a great balance of energies. Can easily befriend anyone.

— Libra Mars forgives often but usually its very logical. One of the best boundary setter I've ever seen. They are sweethearts don't get me wrong but they can easily put you in your place while still being the sweetest angel ever.

— Sagittarius Sun are extremely ambitious people. They're very very driven. While they enjoy letting loose, they're equally devoted to their work and aspirations. From my experience, they're the kind who would invest months into a project, only to celebrate grandly once it's accomplished. They truly embody the 'work hard, play hard' spirit.

— There's a stereotype that pegs Aquarius Mercury as detached and overly rational, almost robotic in their communication. But as you dive deeper, you realize this couldn't be farther from the truth. While they do possess an innate ability to see the bigger picture and communicate ideas ahead of their time, there's a depth and warmth to them that often goes unnoticed. These are some of the smoothest talkers. Contrary to the belief that they're disinterested in personal stories, many Aquarius Mercury individuals are deeply curious about individual journeys and narratives. I also noticed that since they can be so nice to talk to, people just casually open up to them about literally anything.

— I saw squares aspects synastry plays out in real life and often times its honestly super funny. Its like 2 people that speak 2 different languages trying to get the same thing but don't want to admit it out of pride LOL. I'm not a big fan when there's too much squares within personal placements but to be fair, they promote hella growth. After these kind of relationships, everyone just kinda become either more stubborn with their values or extremely open-minded LOL

— While Taurus Moon is very emotionally reliant, in the sense that they're their own safe haven and therapy guide a lot of the times. These people also may be prone to denial. They take time to come to terms with a lot of events that happened and kind of just buried it sometimes until they fully accept it. Unhealthy coping mechanisms as well but with time, they find their own peace in the truth.

— Earth Risings, lets talk. They got to be one of the funniest people alive. Their sense of humour always hits and they're the living proof for don't judge a book by its cover. Everytime I'm with them I always hurt my stomach by laughing too much PLS. However, when time calls for it, they can sit down and get all corporate on you trust😉

This has been surprisingly kind of fun, please let me know if you'd like to see more of this in the future:))

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2023 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

[lovetogether]

here i will send an ask to inquire because perhaps you would like to share a bit about them on your blog .... what oc's have you been workshopping!!! i would like to know the secrets. what has tumblr user lovetogether been cooking

Hello hello our dear friend allister! Rubs hands together… eheheh, since T:MLs (last big oc story we did) we’ve been mostly working on tiny oc “drabbles”? I guess you could call them. We have bursts of scenes and whatnot but that’s about it. They mostly exist to . Have fun . We’re a writer at heart though so they do have a bit of narrative set up - anyhow! Come with us down here into this wine cellar,

First one is this ^

This is “Humanity”, a man made passion project of sorts. It’s mostly based off glados, portal two in general, and our own alienation from people and tendency for “escape” but not in a manner close to usual “fandomites” (Is that a word..? I just made it up…) Humanity’s deal is it was maybe a “human” (used loosely as you know we draw most people as kemono) at one point but was then wiped and given many mechanical enhancements. Its essentially and a i trained off only human made media like films and tv shows, it’s connected to tons of TVs in its main sorta “lab” (shown in the tiny drawing) nd these screens will reflect snippets of movies and tv shows which coincide with whatever emotion Humanity is mimicking at the moment. Despite the heavy media training though Humanity remains mostly emotionless, only mimicking what it’s been fed. It’s never actually been given field training. And it never will. The lab in a portal two type situation was abandoned for one reason or another, the place only inhabits machines now, including Humanity. The place is overgrown and lonely. We have this idea that a girl ends up there, maybe Chell style (can you tell we like portal lolol) but she’s like, a child. This child is Humanity’s first like experience with a real person and it’s confused by her lack of - what was on the screen. It learns from here, we think at first it rejects the truth of humans, opting to believe what it was trained on, but it eventually learns.

Next is Persimmon :-) !! Or Persi (per-see) for short ! He’s a young chipper business man who died and ended up in the afterlife, he’s kinda comparable to a zombie? His premise is sorta dark humor-ish, apologies to viewers out there-! He was a very upbeat businessman and then one day a slight inconvenience happened at work and so he went home and offed himself in the tub. He resides in the afterlife now and is pretty chill with this. He often greets new comers and whatnot, his excited energy towards everything is sorta welcoming..? He’s extremely open about the fact he ended his life and is very chill about this, when questioned about his life and he goes on to say it was fine which then spawns the question “why’d you do it?” He sorta just smiles and shrugs. Admittedly a very dark humor type concept but we just wanted to make something which made harder topics like that a bit easier to stomach as those kinds of things have always left us numb rather than offended. We’d want people to feel okay with themselves, nd in a weird way his optimism is sorta a..? “It could happen to anyone” type thing, through the dark humor we create something earnest. As always.

Finally here’s Donut! She’s a coworker alongside our other workshopped oc Delilah “Dell” Coordinates . They’re “fbi agents” cause well they’re based off twin peaks characters. We don’t really care about fbi type junk though so they’ll just be defunct detectives or something funny like that. Donut is chill for the most part, bringing the sorta straight man edge to a case but with a kind demeanor. She waves off supernatural but in no way undermines believers. But don’t let her lax attitude fool you! She’s extremely skilled. She doesn’t linger but she also doesn’t rush yknow? She’s maybe a lowkey daydreamer but a realistic one, she enjoys the simpler things…

Oh my god we forgot to say, Persi is a stoat and Donut is a white tailed mongoose. Yus 👍 oh and, Persi + Humanity are sorta “us-based” ocs which means we don’t reeally? Have set pronouns? They’re agender. Yuuup. You can use he or she for them . We defaulted to it for Humanity cause it felt right. And he for Persi cause of the businessman title. But really we don’t care. Thank youu ~!

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

A/N: I wrote this loosely based on my own experience where my feelings for someone was used a prank for April Fools. Except it was the guy I liked who pranked me, and there was no happy ending. Also, my best friend at the time was part of it. Still hurts to think about.

Kevin hated Steve Harrington and hated him with a passion. He never did anything to him personally, but he didn't do anything to stop his friend Tommy from shoving him into lockers. He swore that if he had ever been given the opportunity that he would get revenge. Tommy had gone off to God knows where Steve would have to do, especially since he's been hogging all of Eddie's time since Spring Break.

Kevin had heard all sorts of stories about how Steve saved his life and how he had been taking care of him. He knows what kind of guy Steve is, knows that he's probably yanking Eddie's chain. Guys, like Steve, they never really change. He was going to hurt him before he could hurt Eddie. He knows that even douchebags can have feelings, and they were clear as day when he looked at Eddie. No, Kevin couldn't allow that. Saturday was April 1st. What a perfect opportunity. It was also perfect that he could copy Eddie's handwriting almost exactly. He wrote the note and slipped it on Steve’s car at Family Video. He ran back to his car, where it was parked down the road.

"I'm telling you, Robin," Steve said as he walked out of work with his best friend. "Even if he does like guys, it doesn't necessarily mean he likes me."

"I've seen the way he looks at you!" Robin practically growled at him.

"I don't want to get my hopes up here," he replied.

"It's worth the risk to have a little hope," she said softly. "Hey, what's that on your car?"

Steve shrugged and picked up the white piece of paper. It was a note from Eddie. He smiled, the smile growing as he read the note.

"Holy shit, you were right, Robin!" Steve exclaimed. "He likes me. He really likes me!"

Robin squealed and made a grab for the note. She jumped and hugged Steve. The next thing Robin knew, Steve was spinning her around and dancing with her in the empty parking lot.

"It's all coming together, Robin," Steve said softly.

When Saturday rolled around, Steve waited around impatiently for the evening to come. Robin had come over to help him get ready, and she began to get nervous with him. It wasn't even her date. When it came time to meet Eddie at the restaurant, Steve dropped Robin and her bike off at her house with promises to call if the date went well. He walked into Enzo's, flowers gripped tightly in his hand, and sat at the table reserved for him. It was quite a fancy restaurant for Eddie, but then he remembered how he had mentioned before about really working really hard to save up for something special. Had he been talking about Steve? He wondered what he would be wearing. He hoped it would be his regular clothes. That would be a sight.

As he thought about Eddie, an hour went by, and then another. It was pretty close to closing time, and Eddie was still a no-show. Steve frowned into his glass of water. He knew that if he hadn't shown up by now, then he was never going to show. It felt like someone had punched him the gut. The waiter came over to him with a note, and he perked up. Maybe it was from Eddie explaining himself. He opened it, and he sucked air through his teeth. It no longer felt like a punch. It felt like someone had rammed a sword through his stomach. On the note, in Eddie's handwriting, were the words: April Fools. Fuck.

Steve stormed into his home, slamming the door so hard it rattled. He was finding it hard to breathe. He could feel his face flush with shame and humiliation. Of course, it wasn't real. Of course, it had been a joke. Of course, no one could ever really love him. His parents certainly didn't. Nancy didn't, and now. . .now, it was Eddie who didn't love him, who thought he was a joke. That one hurt most of all. Fool. Bullshit. Fool. Not good enough. Not smart enough. Not worth it. Steve screamed and began breaking the things in the foyer. The end table came crashing to the floor, and he pulled the mirror that hung with it, the vase on top breaking on the floor as the rest followed suite. The notes were still crumpled in his hands, and he let them fall to the floor as he walked over the broken glass.

"Hello?" Robin called out as she entered Steve’s house the next morning.

She tried calling first, knowing he liked that, but he didn't answer, and so she got worried. He had promised to call if the date had gone well. Robin frowned as she moved all the way in and felt the crunch underneath her feat before she saw it. She glanced down and saw the wreckage on the floor along with the note. April Fools. She gasped, running over the glass and up the stairs to Steve’s room. She burst through the door, and her heart broke at the sight. Her best friend was lying in bed, still in the clothes from last night. His eyes were glassy and swollen. He looked so tired, so sad. . .

"Robin," Steve croaked.

Robin spent the next week when she wasn't working or going to school, taking care of Steve. She called off sick for him and worked hard to be there for him. She prevented the kids from stopping by, claiming that she didn't want them to get sick, but she knew that wouldn't hold for long. Friday had been enough for her after seeing him in school all happy and smiling while her best friend laid up in bed. He went to the bathroom and he still ate food but he stopped bathing. He stopped caring about his hair! Enough was enough!

"MUNSON!" Robin yelled, seething, as she stormed into the drama room.

He was holding Hellfire, had just begun when Robin ran in, and he nearly toppled out of his chair. He had never seen her so angry before, and honestly, it was terrifying.

"Robin, what -," Eddie started.

"He can't get out of bed because of you because of this!" Robin exclaimed, slamming pieces of paper to his chest. "After everything he did for you! What the fuck?!"

"A-are we talking about Steve?" Eddie asked. "I thought he was sick."

"No, he's fucking not. He's fucking devastated because of what you did," she said in disgust.

Eddie frowned, and his eyes widened when he read the notes. Oh God, he felt like he was going to be sick.

"How long did he wait?" Eddie asked.

"Hours," she replied.

Shit.

"Robin, I didn't write this," Eddie said.

"Oh, likely story," she scoffed.

"I swear, but I know who did," he said darkly and looked Kevin's way when he heard him laugh.

Eddie stood up, letting the notes fall, and walked towards a laughing Kevin. He grabbed Kevin by the collar, pulled him up out of his chair, and slammed him roughly against the wall. Kevin stopped laughing.

"Seriously?" Kevin asked.

"What you did was beyond fucked and you did it in my name," Eddie said furiously.

"King Steve deserved what he got. He is and always will be a bully," Kevin sneered.

"Jesus Christ, Kevin!" Grant spoke up.

"Steve Harrington is a better man than you will be. He grew up. How about you do the fucking same? In the meantime, you're out of the club," Eddie said.

He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and ripped it down the middle before slamming him back against the wall. Kevin glared at him, grabbed his things, and walked out. Eddie turned around, full of rage.

"Anyone else have a problem with Steve Harrington?! If you do, speak now!" He snapped, pausing. "Alright then, Hellfire is canceled for tonight. There's someone I need to tend to. I swear, Robin, I - "

"I believe you," she said quickly. "Let's go."

Eddie nearly broke down crying at sight of Steve laying in bed, looking so utterly defeated. Steve flinched away from when he tried to touch him. Eddie was going to curse Kevin's name until the day that he died.

"Steve, listen to me. I swear on Hellfire, Dustin's mother, and James Hetfield that I didn't write that note. That was all Kevin, and it was for something that Tommy did. I was going to ask you out to a Tears for Fears concert. I even bought the tickets, I've been waiting to ask you. I still want to ask you, but I understand if you don't believe me," Eddie said.

"I never stopped him," Steve said, looking at him.

"Stopped who?" Eddie asked.

"Tommy."

"Oh, baby, you weren't the only one who could have done something. Besides, it wasn't your job to stop him. The only one who well and truly could have stopped Tommy Hagen was Tommy Hagen. He made his choice, and he got to lay in whatever bed he made. You didn't deserve what happened to you, my love, nobody does," Eddie said.

"Am I?"

"What?"

"Your love?"

"Abso - fucking - lutely you are!"

Steve met him halfway to the sweetest kiss that either one of them had ever gotten. Eddie pulled back with a grin.

"There's no doubt about it," Eddie said. "I love you, baby, I do, but your breath stinks, and you need a shower."

Steve laughed, and it was the most beautiful song that Eddie had ever heard. His favorite song.

[kovacs-of-courage]

Nesting Fears

I made this fic based off my dear friend @yys002's art! Check out her blog(the art below is hers)

He was walking in a dream, fading memories echoing around his lucid consciousness. 

There were voices around every corner, whispers of his loved ones, honeycomb promises behind unending walls. He was trapped in the manor, wandering up and down its lonely halls.

Dick tried to enjoy the experience, a sleep beyond nightmares was rare for him, if he remembered it at all. Life had thrown him too many dangers to rest softly, though he’d come to terms with that reality long ago. He was too proud of his life; what with the people he’d helped, the lives he’d saved, the friends met.

He missed his parents more than the world, but if they were forever doomed to die—-there was nowhere else Dick would rather be. Being Robin honored their memory in a way that doing circus tours for the rest of his life never could, to turn his tragedy into a force for good--Dick knew they’d approve.

So why did he feel so uncertain? Why was he so afraid?

Dick put his hand on the shadowed wall, his fingers flat against the ancient timber. A sigh of passive exasperation left his incorporeal form, the strain of his worries weighing harder on the young vigilante than any physical hardship. The manor had contorted a direction through his memories, winding corridors of past glories and future anxieties.

It’d taken him through miles of it, or so Dick assumed. Dreams tended to play fast and loose with reality, the forest infinitely more important than the trees. Dick just wished he’d wake up already, but it seemed that wasn’t what his subconscious had in mind.

The room shifted around him, a blurring mass of colors and whirring sounds that passed as soon as it arrived. Dick didn’t feel alerted by this special change like he would in the real world, staying in a plain state of confused discomfort.

He recognized the room he’d landed in immediately, foreboding sinking into his chest like poisonous worry. Cautious in his step, he approached the lone statue-head in the center of the rectangular room--more fit to be a windowed coffin than a place for the living.

The marble carved features of Thomas Wayne stared back at him, set on a similarly expensive pillar-- confirming Dick’s worst suspicions.

This was Bruce’s study.

There was history to the room, an importance that lent it a weight closer to crime alley than simply a place where the Wayne family liked to read. Bruce had told Dick close to everything there was to know about his mission, about Batman, including where he’d originally gotten the inspiration for it.

Dick looked back to the head of Thomas Wayne, the stone where his pupils should be staring daggers into his being. Righteous judgment radiated off it like smoke from an SOS flare, a wordless indignation towards Dick being in his presence.

“I don’t know what you want from me, I don’t even know why I’m here,” Dick said, disregarding the insanity of choosing to talk to a lifeless statue. He chose to not look it in the eyes, opening the curtains to observe the rolling greens of the Wayne estate.

Dick tried to enjoy the view, his mind’s admittedly imperfect recollection of his childhood home, as the imaginary sun slowly rose on the distant horizon. He closed his eyes, grasping at some sense of peace in the half nightmare around him.

“You know exactly why you’re here, boy.”

Gone as soon as it came, the silence overtaking the room shattered, the rumbling baritone of a voice unknown acting like a sledgehammer thrown across softened glass. It’d caught Dick off guard at first; as deep and guttural as trigon, the avalanche-like vibrations of each enunciated word a death sentence in its own right.

He looked to his left; at the only thing he could imagine as the source of the noise. 

The Statue spoke again, it’s stoic expression unmoving, it’s lips motionless: 

“Bruce should have never let you join his crusade, a child has no place in war.”

Dick gritted his teeth, aggravation flaring like hot fire within him, figment of his imagination or not--hearing the same tired spiel of Bruce’s boneheaded arguments made him want to scream.

“Oh put a sock in it, rock pile,” Dick said, looking the statue dead-on, “If you can’t even come up with your own points, then there’s nothing you can say that’ll change my mind.”

A laugh roared through the air, it’s intensity like an earthquake to a withered coffin; shaking the room so violently as to carve gaps in the floorboards and throw books from their shelves.

Dick struggled to stay afoot, his trained grace doing little in the fantasy of the dream. 

“And yet you argue with me still!” The Statue laughed, “I’m not here to convince you of anything, little bird--only to remind you of a truth you so pathetically avoid.”

The condescending tone clicked all the wrong buttons for Dick, draining his vast well of patience to an exceedingly shrinking pool of agitation. He wanted to be as far away from the manor as possible. He’d prefer the worst patrols in Gotham, the deadliest missions with the titans, at least then he’d be doing something productive.

Not this.

“And what truth is that, oh hallowed prophet?” Dick leered, sarcasm etching his sentence’s end, “Go on, what cold truth do I need repeated? What wise wisdom of the batman have I forgotten? Is the eighteen-year-old apprentice still too young to be taken seriously?

The Statue remained impassive at the surface, betraying the hostility it so flagrantly spoke with, “Quite the opposite in fact. You are an apprentice in name alone, what use does Bruce have for a student he cannot teach, nor listens to his orders?”

It pained Dick to admit, but the statue, whatever part of his mind it represented, was right. Bruce and him didn’t need one another anymore, and that was a knife to his heart that kept on twisting. He was quiet for a tense few seconds, his fists balled and breathing slow.

“Batman and Robin are partners, we’re a team...he knows that,” Dick muttered, his hot anger turned to frigid vulnerability.

He waited for a response, the risen moon beaming through the glass, shining bright his open fear.

“Nothing lasts forever, even the brightest stars fade,” The Statue said, “Bruce knows this more than anyone, as should you.”

Dick tilted his head, disbelief plastered across his face, “We don’t just lay down and accept it! Bruce calling us quits isn’t gonna stop me from helping people. I’m not a kid anymore, I can make my own decisions.”

“I find that hard to believe, boy wonder, when you spend so much of your time tracing his footsteps,” The Statue said, holding it’s views like a scalpel to Dick’s life, “Robin is no more his own hero then when you were eight years old, or leading a team of second-rate sidekicks that pales in comparison to what your mentor helped create.”

The insult at the Titans salted the already bleeding wound, Dick’s emotions bubbled to a chaotic boiling point--no one hit his friends without going through him first.

“Keep the Titans out of this, or I’ll kick you off that pillar myself! We’ve earned our place, time and time again,” Dick said, his volume nearing a yell.

The statue didn’t waver, if it was bothered by Dick’s threat--it hid that fact well.

“Your defensiveness merely emphasizes my point,” The Statue explained. 

Dick’s squinted his eyes, his stance tense and rigid. 

The Statue continued to elaborate, dispassionate as always, “What is the tale of a squire without their knight? What is a son who never surpasses the father? You must grow beyond these trappings of youth, not retreat within them.” 

“Robin is my creation though,” Dick stressed, motioning his palms to his chest, “It’s the last thing I have of my parents, of my history...Who am I without it?”

The question elicited a hum of laughter from the statue, baritone and rebounding, though without malice, for once. Dick’s cheeks flushed red, embarrassment at his open vulnerability like salt on a bleeding wound.

“Am I to hear that the Flying Grayson is afraid to take a leap of faith? Is it not defiance of fear that creates the heroics you so revel in?”

Dick sheepishly rubbed his arm, “Well when you say it like that, it sounds stupid.”

“The path you walk, you’ve known it’s course for far longer than your visit here,” The statue said, “The confusion you face in regards to the future is temporary, if you still have the bravery to persist.”

“Then what is this conversation supposed to be?” Dick asked. “My subconscious motivating me to keep going?”

The Statue said plainly it’s clarification, “Close, but no cigar. That moment will come in a short while; any moment now, actually.”

Dick shook his head, puzzled and uneased, “And what that’s supposed to be?”

“A taste of skies yet flown. You’ll see.”

Before Dick had the chance of questioning the statue’s cryptic answer, an invisible force had thrown him on his back; the shrill cry of a beast sounding life or death danger in his pained eardrums.

He struggled to regain his composure, his heart-rate jumping to his throat as he watched spider webbing cracks infect the floorboards; the noise of the unknown beast quickly reducing the room to literal splinters.

The dream was quickly becoming a nightmare, that much was plain to see. Dick swallowed the lump in his throat, the primal fear heightened by the reality around him coursing shivers from head to toe. He pushed past it, the courage of all his years dancing away from death’s grip reminding him of his true strength.

Dick pulled himself to his feet, gritting his teeth in concentration. Real or not; He’d never turn tail from danger, nor the future. The view from the window pane had brightened to an immeasurable degree, a near blinding wall of sunlight swallowing the space that the manor’s land had formerly occupied.

Another cry broke the air, just as earsplitting and hope-stopping as the last, but this time Dick could see the source...and it was flying right at him.

The creature was monstrous, an ever changing avian patchwork of leather-stitched sinew and brown and gray feathers. The details to its appearances were like a mirage, changing at the slightest glance, blending into a variety of patterns in the seconds of it’s current flight path.

Dick watched the bird in amazement, aware of the danger it presented and finding himself unable to move; completely mesmerized and terrified in equal measure. It molted it’s feathers to new patterns in ways that made Dick want to jump out the window and join it.

It roared again, it’s callous beak now a rallying cry for a cause that Dick felt deep in his heart. He blinked and it’s coat had darkened from the humble colors of the robin; the kiss of a midnight river drenching it’s dozen foot wide wingspan, adorning sleek slings of golden pride on it’s chest. 

There was beauty in the change, the transformations from one mode to another. For every reinvention there was horror lost, a terror thrown aside. Dick couldn’t help but admire that, envy it’s adaptation to something more.

Dick blinked again, the large talons of the bird mere inches away from the fragile glass. 

It’d changed once more, molting it’s dreamlike austerity to streamlined nobility. Darkness drenched it’s form, the touch of the space holding stars; yet it did not consume it. There was light in it’s eyes, grandness in it’s purpose, freedom in it’s flight--Dick looked into the brilliant sapphire streaking it’s breast and found hope, not despair.

He found a symbol he could believe in, a soul that longed to soar as much as his own.

Dick had found something more valuable than anything in the skies and wonders above.

As the glass shattered, and the bird’s mighty talons embraced him--Dick understood what it was.

And he was never letting go.

[authorcoledipalo]

Writing Interview Tag!

Getting tagged and getting to respond is super fun so thank you @aintgonnatakethis !

About me

When did you start writing?

I started writing using word when I was 9, but I've been drawing and creating stories long before that. The first ideas I ever came up with was a pamphlet for a basic horror movie that I made up, but my most influential work was "Limbo". Loosely based around my dreams I created a story that tied them all together.

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

Occasionally non-fiction. Mostly Self-help books for inspiration (recommended by my father) and this one that I've read called Prisoners of Geography that goes over the way that geography has effected the real world through Geo-politics. (I thought it would be neat and might help me come up with new ideas for my book but it just ended up being king of interesting on its own)

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

I've not yet been compared to any authors. Emulate someone? I'm not sure. But I would like to be someone like Rick Riordan; he's very wholesome, has a great community, and has written a lot of great books. I'd just like to cater to an older audience.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I usually write in my bedroom. I have plenty of space and it was originally a gaming set up but now I've been playing less video games and used this space to focus mostly on school work and writing. If I am away then I'll bring my IPad, or when I was in school I'd chip away at my work using the laptop they gave us.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Fixing mistakes. Sometimes I'll write a little, not like it, and remember exactly what I need to do to fix it. This gives me the motivation to continue writing and has honestly given me some of my best work. Other times I'll listen to my writing playlist (which also happens to be my lawn mowing playlist as all of the best ideas come from when I'm mowing the lawn lol).

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

I grew up in a Florida neighborhood without a lot of kids so most of the time I was inside, away from the heat, and doing something on the computer like Minecraft or writing. It probably influenced me by limiting me to those options, but now I try to experience new perspectives and write about things that I'm not completely familiar with.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

I wouldn't say they exactly surprise me, but they often come after I've made the story. I have the characters, their motivations, the plot, the setting, and from that the themes emerge. I often change things to fit this theme after I've come up with it but the most reoccurring theme is the one of corruption and found family or the lack there of.

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

I know it's a cop out but I can't choose, it's always changing and I can't remember any all of a sudden. Right now I'm thinking Stanford from gravity falls but I'm always thinking of different characters.

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

I started to overthink this question and accidentally got philosophical. My first thought was Mathew, he's from the last story chronologically but was inspired by my first story "Limbo". Another that came to mind was this (currently) unnamed assassin from the story that should technically come after the one I'm currently working on and honestly I would love to get into the nitty gritty about that Idea now so maybe a post for later!

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Raymond. He's made to be disliked. Kind of a jerk and a pretty bad person. Also Greyson, he's a rich snob who thinks he can get his way just cause he has money. Ironically he was almost manipulated by one of my favorite side characters before... uh, something... happens to him.

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

It starts with the plot. I have an idea and I need to fill it in with characters, their personalities come with how they should respond to these situations and everything builds off from there.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

Yeah, they're kind of messed up. Everyone is flawed, but they grow. They all do, even if it's downward.

How do you picture your characters?

Like it's a movie. The medium changes however I mostly imagine live action, sometimes imagine anime but I feel like that would be kind of unrealistic, although an adaptation would be sick.

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

My first inspiration was my mom, I wanted to be like her and write. Now, I still look up to her for that, but I also like the idea of creating these stories to share with others, just to have something that I can call mine and share with people.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

Definitely when they pick up on something. The thing that motivated me the most is when one of my friends was reading my notes and asked about Raymond, then told me that she hates him as a person and that I was doing a great job writing the characters.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

As someone who's work was able to reach far, make people think, and hopefully inspire them.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Very obvious strength but my creativity, It helps me get over so many obstacles and come up with all of these ideas and put them together in my head.

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

My characters, the plot, and being able to plan almost everything in my head on the spot.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm pretty proud of it. I've been improving a lot and I've been very happy about where I am now, even though there is so much work to be done!

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Yes. I would still want to do this, for myself, for my characters, just because.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

I like to think that I write purely for myself but it's also important to consider things that others enjoy because it gives me a point of view that I otherwise may have been unaware of.

[maintitle]

I watched DS9's It's Only A Paper Moon yesterday, and I want to talk about it because it wasn't until right now that I understood why it slapped me across the face so much, and why I think that episode is so important to me.

This may be triggering to people with disabilities, heart conditions, disabilities from COVID, or medical or military related trauma. Read ahead at your own risk.

I developed a heart condition at 18 from the H1N1 virus (which is why I tell all my friends to take preventive measures if they had COVID, because these kinds of new and unknown viruses can have long-lasting effects on you we don't know yet). While I had a lot of tests and missed a lot of school that year, the effects of that wouldn't be clear for years until at 24 I got a pacemaker/defibrillator put in in what we later found out was a life-saving surgery. The trauma of that event took a long time to catch up with me. While I'm still facing symptoms and limitations from that period of my life, the immediate danger has passed. But it took A LONG time for the fear of what happened to me, the PTSD of that event, to catch up with me. I've dealt with huge panic attacks and hyper-obsessive fears regarding my heart since around twenty-nine, fears I live with and fight through in therapy to this day.

As someone facing those issues, I hooked onto A Paper Moon this watch in a way I haven't before. The issue deals with the loss of Nog's leg in battle earlier in the season, a traumatic experience he had in the middle of a warzone only halfway through their defense. During his recovery, Julian begins to play recordings of I'll Be Seeing You, put together by Vic Fontaine, a semi-aware holodeck program that is really popular on DS9.

Nog returns from surgery at the beginning of the episode, and is walking with a cane. Multiple people on staff, including Julian himself, is concerned over the use of the cane because medically, he shouldn't have a need for it. He shouldn't even be in pain based off of what they know from the new leg and the nerves around it, but he's in pain and having trouble walking. A lot of the arguments in the early episode revolve around people talking behind Nog's back about how they can't understand why he has the cane or why he's in pain when there doesn't appear to be a medical reason for it.

The answer is actually incredibly simple: It's not the leg, it's the trauma from loosing the leg. Nog, who is still incredibly young in the episode, had somehow seen himself as invincible, a young cadet wanting to prove Ferengi can be incredible members of Starfleet, who had seen quite a bit of action and was cocksure, and in one moment he not only lost that bravado, but he also learned he was mortal in one horrifying singular moment.

Obviously, Nog is lucky enough to live in an era where it's possible to replace a lost limb, but that doesn't change the fact that for a horrifying unmentioned, maybe SEVERAL DAY period of time, he was left on a makeshift bed, listening to fighting outside, knowing that he could be attacked at any time, could die at any time from factors not even exterior to him. And now he just has to... go back to life after that horrifying dose of his own mortality.

The only thing that gets him by is that recording of I'll Be Seeing You by Vic Fontaine, because that's the only thing that he had to take him out of that horrifying situation while he laid on that makeshift gurney. The episode explores that idea by having him play it while trying to sleep, and eventually go to the holodeck and try to live in it with Vic after he was shamed for being in bed too long and for listening to said music for too long.

The funny thing is, Vic is the ONLY person, INCLUDING THE COUNSELOR ONBOARD DS9, who recognizes that his pain is valid. Vic, as a hologram, recognizes that his pain isn't crazy, it's as real as the injury he experienced, because Vic has a perspective that none of these hyper-worn-down Starfleet Officers or parental figures in his life has: His LIFE is a series of not-real instances of pain, of happiness, of dealing with other people he knows are holograms. Vic isn't like Moriarty in TNG, he's not like other semi-sentient Holodeck programs, he KNOWS he's a program but he also finds that life to be very real FOR HIM. The feelings of one of his bandmates are as real to him as the problems of Julian walking in to talk about one of the many women he simps for not feeling the same, because despite knowing they're not physically real, he CARES for them and takes their lives seriously.

Nog's feelings are real. His PAIN is real, even if a doctor can't understand why. Nog's in the middle of a long, extended panic attack where he's internalizing a near life-ending medical emergency and doesn't know how to DEAL with it. He loses himself in the program because it's the only place he can get past the trauma of the event, he's hostile to others who try and look at him with pity or as a hero because he doesn't want to be DEFINED by that pain. Vic knows this, and builds him up in other ways. Gives him a life to live, watches him slowly not need the cane and not even realize it, gives him tools and an environment to cope and generally is the only person that validates that trauma.

The episode is maybe one of the series best mental health episodes possible, and DS9 is generally REALLY good with these issues. As someone with medical trauma, I saw myself in Nog. I'm sure others who have experienced disabilities in the military see even more of themselves in him. We relate to it because we're constantly belittled or told our pain is in our heads, when the truth is we FEEL it. I feel it multiple times a month, when I lay down and go to bed and lay on my side just right that I can feel my heartbeat, and then I overanalyze it, and then that leads to a panic attack and me grabbing a pressure cuff or a fingertip pulse whatever it is to see if I'm okay, but by then I can't come down from the panic attack until it's done. I feel it when I'm helping someone move or if I'm on a casual walk and I feel my heartbeat spike, and my mind overreacts and wonders if this is normal exertion or a heart attack.

Not FEELS these things. It's real pain. And Vic doesn't invalidate it. It's as real as the injury itself, and it's not one that he'll ever truly conquer. But the episode gives him time, space and kindness to help him find coping mechanisms in order to continue with his life and dreams, and THAT'S Trek to me. A future where these things can be understood and worked through, without the constant shame that people with disabilities face when describing the trauma responses they suffer on a day-to-day basis.

In the end, Nog is heard. The main characters come to understand that what he felt is real. The episode gives him the time to work through complicated PTSD, and while he's not okay at the end, he's learning to live with it. And it's really fucking special to see this explored with a character we saw grow up into a man, on a show where the future is meant to be better than the present, written by writers in 1998 where they had no right to handle this as well as they did. This was an exceptionally special episode of television.

[pitlanewrites]

to the wonderful trick-or-treater whose ask i published too early by accident, @after-nine-at-the-oasis, this is for you!

here is a fun behind-the-scenes fact about each of my published fics!

oh, it's just like magic was supposed to be finished by the end of october. it is not.

did you feel that close to god when you had me on my knees almost didn't get published because i was worried that it was too blasphemous

1-800-hot-n-fun was originally meant to be seb slutting around, but kimi basically bullied his way in and said 'i'm fucking this twink now' and who am i to argue with him

if i could choose one dream is loosely based on my own experience with train stations, particularly paris gare du nord.

the weight of a legacy too big to uphold was supposed to be romantic, but i decided with the timeline that jacques was still a teenager, so i cut that out

f1 flash fiction was originally a project for an english paper i was taking. i submitted rather than just saying 'i love you', a multitude of ways in which having a crush can ruin a party everything, and portrait of a lover, across the expanse of sea for the paper. i don't remember what mark i got.

in another life, i would've really liked doing laundry and taxes with you had an entire au written out of what would happen after lewis retired.

and again we go racing had ayrton's dog, kinda, added to it because i saw a really sad post about what she was like after ayrton died.

a sweet tooth for you has a moment where lando puts a sieve over his head. this was inspired by my brother doing the same thing when he was little. sorry for giving you the behaviours of a one year old, lando.

it started with the hayloft a-creakin' ended up with duplicated pierres by accident.

this song is about us starts on the 8th of june because 4 + 4 = 8 and june is the 6th month of the year. little number easter egg :)

in the original draft for i love you like i love being hungry, lewis writes a message in red pen instead of underlining it. this was changed in the final version.

you make me (giddy) was born from a reverse-tropes tumblr prompt that i was originally going to turn into landoscar (at the start of the year before bearnelli really got popular)

pierre stealing esteban's girlfriend, as mentioned in i hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us is allegedly a real thing that happened, if you believe ralf schumacher.

the 'girl with dark hair and wide eyes' mentioned in father first, think later is hamda al qubaisi!

the race the dead drivers were watching in the afterimage of life and death is of course the 2024 australian grand prix.

i did google the actual section of the fia code for the neutrality rule mentioned in it's a love story, baby just say...

hope you enjoyed these silly fun facts!

[angelina-sheblogs]

I Don’t Want To Be A Charlotte!

As a 15-year-old recovered hopeless romantic, love was a subject I’ve unfortunately explored way too much. My love life has kicked the bucket before it could even come to full bloom. By my age, I don’t really have many experiences to go by. Still, 6 failed romances and maybe a million breakdowns, I’ve had enough.

It was a humid evening when I decided to give up on finding my Juliet. A typhoon had passed just a few days before and I once again found myself sitting alone in the living room, a hot coffee in hand as I browsed the newest shows. True to my fashion-loving self, the moment Carrie Bradshaw’s heels walked into view, I knew that I had found my latest obsession.

Despite my dad’s strict ban on watching Sex and the City—too inappropriate, according to him—I couldn’t stop. The glitz, the glam, Carrie’s incredible shoe collection, and her whirlwind life were addictive. Whatever she was on, I wanted in.

Then I hit Season 1, Episode 7. Monogamy. It wasn’t Carrie or Charlotte that got me thinking—it was Samantha. Promiscuous, unapologetically wild Samantha. Unlike Carrie who dwelled on keeping Mr. Big on a tight leash, Samantha was always blissfully deluded in every episode. It dawned on me that there were two types of girls in the world, The Charlotte and The Samantha.

And then there were the in-betweeners, like Carrie—Charlotte when it came to their “Mr. Big,” but Samantha with anyone who wasn’t him. After observing Charlotte’s perpetual frustration and Samantha’s constant bliss every episode, I knew that the only way to be happy was to be a Samantha.  That’s just a personal opinion.

While Charlotte and Carrie spent every episode dealing with the assholes they like so much, Samantha was featured in a montage of wild scenes, partying and drinking. All of which ended with her taking someone home. Call it loose living or whatever, you can’t deny that Samantha was the happiest of the bunch. Carrie, of course, was living in her nicotine-fueled fantasy of Mr. Big.

In real life, I wasn’t much of anyone—I was too much me. And to be completely honest, I was tired of it. I, too, had a Ms. Big to conquer. I’d liked her since February and promptly made 0 progress to date. It was tiring, having to think long-term, of the possible ripples one action would make. Enough was enough. I was Angelina, pretty, perky and loud Angelina who wasn’t afraid to stand up and make a scene.

Unfortunately, all my confidence evaporates in her presence. It was embarrassingly cliché.

To combat this sad, ridiculous issue, I would get into the habit of being more of a Samantha, or at least a Carrie. It was time to shed the hopeless-romantic, poem-writing deluded Charlotte persona I’ve had on. The first step to becoming a Samantha or a Carrie is to not be a Charlotte. Plain and simple.

I was obviously too young to be bar-hopping and sleeping around so you can calm your tits, I’m not that crazy. Instead, I would reflect my new-found philosophy through the way I acted around my friends. I kicked off my shoes every chance I got, smeared on thick makeup every occasion and wore heels everywhere we went. While I still have a lot more shopping to do, I felt like a total Carrie. Hell, I even started my own blog!

While my younger self would be horrified to find out I wrote this and actually gave up on a fairy-tale ending, I was proud of myself. It was freeing to let go of the horrific pressure that pressed down on my shoulders; the expectation of a once in a millennia Juliet suddenly showing up and sweeping me off my feet. I was relieved to wipe that clean off my dream board.

In conclusion, I'm just not it for relationships, going off my track record. Maybe, I'm just a hedonist, meant to enjoy all life has to offer.

Whether I’d settle one day or have my Carrie/Samantha-inspired lifestyle evolve into something more…true to the show, I knew that I would stop basing my happiness on my relationship status. If I wanted it, I’d go for it.

I was done being a Charlotte.

[cssnder]

Happy STS! Are any of your characters based on people you know/knew/met irl (whether loosely or specifically)?

warning: long rambling and probably a bit senseless because I can't think today.

Hello, you!

Real life is the greatest source of inspiration. I believe that to write characters that feel real, one must draw from real life. I suppose it is not surprising if I tell you that that all my characters are inspired by real-life people: me, my family, my friends, the toddlers I babysit, the people I met online, and even complete strangers that I have observed whenever I'm out. Writing good characters, characters that'll remain with the reader long after they finished their reading, demands a keen eye, an openness, and a certain objectivity.

To take my main novel for example, a lot of Oliver's thoughts, fears, and memories are directly taken from my diaries from a certain time in my life. His life at the beginning of the novel — in a small village, living with his parents who barely seem to care about him, and an overwhelming desire to leave this place and experience something new in a way only Emma Bovary could understand —, that too is inspired by my own life. And it doesn't necessarily stop to characters. Oliver wants to flee his house every time he looks out the window in his kitchen. Why? Because from there, he can see the church from the village he lives in and he fears he'll die before he ever got to leave this place, and will be buried in the church's cemetery. I suppose you won't be too surprised if I were to tell you that from my kitchen we can indeed see the Church of the village I live in, standing tall and menacing like a bad omen. He loves modernist poetry, I do too. At some point in the story, he gets gastritis from stress. I had to go through this ordeal last year too lmao. Of course, he's not the only one to have bits and pieces of me.

Wilhelm does too, although his traits are mine but exaggerated. His moral nihilism, his tendency to be quiet, his apathy, his rarefied talent for secrecy. But also, the way he learns languages to pass the time and, as a result, became a polyglot. He cannot hear too well from his left ear — I had too many otitis as a child and it damaged mine too. He fears reincarnation — this, I did too at some point. The idea of my soul just hopping into another body every time I died, even if I were to kill myself, and being unable to stop this loop didn't sit with me very well.

I'd say most of my characters have bits and pieces from me, but they do so in varying degrees. Oliver and Wilhelm are, quite obviously, the ones with the highest quantity while the other characters have some but it's more like added details, you know. After all, I'm the one to write them and, I suppose, it simply slips out. Sometimes, when I enter a room, I tend to open the door by lazily giving it a hit with my shoulder. This is something I didn't know I did until my sister pointed it out. This, for example I gave it to James. In our house, we can always hear music coming from my room, including a lot of classic records, that too, I gave James. He doesn't like being talked to in the morning, neither do I. But a lot comes from other people I've known throughout my life. The way James likes to read a certain genre of books, generally vintage sci-fi/horror: Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank; Swan Song by Robert McCammon — this one, James actually buys it during the story —; Strange Eons by Robert Bloch; The Incredible Melting Man by Phil Smith; Horror House by J. N Williamson; The Cats by Nick Sharma; but also books by P.G Wodehouse sometimes, too. I knew a guy like that who would read nothing else but those books. The way James can be easily irritable. This comes from my father. His love for animals, — petting every cat he meets and even discussing with birds — it comes from my brother. The way he sits, holds his cigarette, and stands — it all comes from different people's I've observed whether in my circle or outside while I was grocery shopping or going out somewhere. And this is generally the case for most of my characters, really. They're a carefully crafted mix of all those people that crossed my path. You could be smoking a cigarette in front of me right now and I'd be observing the way you hold it, what brand you smoke, the way the smoke moves around you, the way you move, what you say and how you say it — I'd be taking notes in my mind and giving it to a character.

Now, I rarely have a character that's based entirely on one person only for that book. But it does happen. Oliver's parents are strictly based on my own. Donna, who was supposed to be a minor character but finally ended up being more important than I had originally planned, was, in a high degree, based on my best friend the same degree that Oliver was mostly based on me. Her height, her tooth gap, the sound of her voice, the way she speaks, her red hair, her obsession with movies but also the way she's easily scared of horror ones, her zine that she discreetly distributes to other students... All those things are based on my best friend.

I am just enumerating a few details here and there but there are so many. However, it'd be far too long if I were to keep going and go over all my other characters. And this post is already getting too long. So, I am going to leave you with this:

I think I've already said it on my blog but I strongly recommend writers to journal a lot. You never know when a certain thought can be thought by one of your characters later on. I record everything in there, all in past tense, as if it were a novel — conversations I had; taking note of the way people talk, or move; places; weird dreams I had; thoughts; feelings; ideas; even the weather, for it exercises my description skills. Anything and everything really. It's an excellent exercise but also, I found, an excellent place to put observations and details that will help shapes future characters et hoc genus omne.

[golbrocklovely]

Random question,

Were you homeschooled? If you were, I have literally no socialization when it comes to people besides family. My mental health is rotting, I'm extremely emotionally sensitive, and I feel I really need friends, like it just feels like it would help alot.

What do you think?

i was only homeschooled for 8th grade, but i do get the sentiment of not knowing how to make friends. i used to have a big friend group that i've since lost bc back in 2020 my best friend of 10 years (and basically my life line to that group) decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore bc her life was too stressful and she figured she was a shit friend anyway so she should cut me loose (along with a mirade of other things that went on that she blamed it on). so, i haven't had a core group of friends in a long time and i struggle to connect with ppl.

i will say, your best bet - at least at first - is to try to make friends online based on things/fandoms you are a part of. i have my couple friends on here, and even tho we almost exclusively talk about snc related shit, i still count them as my closest friends. and it's nice to be able to talk to them about that stuff.

and as for in real life stuff you can do to make friends, idk how old you are, but try to see if there are any local groups or events you can join in your area. see if there is a book group at your local library, see if there are any classes at a community center you can take. hell, even getting a job where some of the ppl in that place are the same age as you is good starting point as well. when you are in forced proximity with ppl, you tend to befriend others more often. that's why a lot of us were even able to have friends in school.

try to go into everything with an open mind. and genuinely remember that 99% of ppl are a, in the same boat as you (confused and don't know what to do next) and b, aren't trying to hurt your feelings. most ppl are nice. of course there are assholes, but try not to let ppl like that bring you down. and gentle reminder, you most likely are not as awkward as you feel. and i know that from personal experience lol

also, my biggest recommendation is working on yourself as well and learning to become your own best friend. i know that's very cliche and silly to say, but highkey one of the best choices i ever made was learning to cut myself some slack and start being nice to myself. if you can afford it, consider therapy. but i know that's not always an option for ppl (even myself). try to do some introspection on who you are, the obstacles you've gone thru and overcame, and do your best to be nice to yourself. i'm telling you, when you start to actually like yourself and give yourself a break, especially on the things you had no control over in the first place, life starts to feel a lot less harder to deal with.

even if your first step is to start reading self help books - do that. write out your feelings more, explore why you act the way you do and if that's something you want to change. set goals that are reasonable, put pride into yourself. treat yourself like you would someone you are friends with. think of yourself as someone worthy of love, bc you are.

but let it be known that this will not happen overnight. i wish it did, but it took me YEARS, i truly mean years, to finally start liking myself and having any resemblance of confidence. it will not happen in one go. you have to be consistent and constantly working on yourself. and i know that can be difficult. but in the long run it will do wonders for yourself.

i wish i had all the answers for you, and i wish i knew the best course for you to take. and i wish you all the luck in the world. i truly believe you will make friends and start a great path on your mental health journey. it won't be easy, and it will take a lot of time, but it's worth it bc you deserve that. you deserve happiness <3

[funeralscythe]

ranboo, ludwig, and wilbur for the ask game

c!ranboo (dsmp)

they were a teen's rp oc so obviously they weren't perfect but i found them fun, i wish ccranboo had gotten the opportunity to tie up all the loose ends of their lore and also that they hadn't just abandoned them after promising us answers though. i do think cranboo works best in his interactions with other characters more so than on his own as well. also i wish more writers acknowledged just how shitty he can be instead of constantly woobifying him like hello? who is that. he's not interesting anymore put him back.

ludwig (bloodborne)

my thoughts on him are mostly incoherent sobbing. i will not attempt to transcribe them for the preservation of my dignity. i will express however that i love him and want to wrap him in a blanket and give him some warm food and something to drink.

c!wilbur (dsmp)

beetle why. beetle we're gonna be here for an hour. beetle you've trapped us (joking).

inhales.

FIRST OFF. fucking hate the vilbur shit. speaking from personal experience, that's not evil incarnate that's mental illness.

second of all i can't stop thinking about him. i relate to him personally. my best friend is convinced i am him. i project onto him so much that at this point im not sure if half my opinions on him are based in canon or if im just talking about myself. or maybe the fact that other cwilbur fans with the same disorder as me headcanon him as having it too confirms my opinions. idk. idk!

i judge him immensely for some of the stuff he's done but i also still love him. im biting and killing him im holding him in my arms im kissing him so sweetly on the forehead and telling him its gonna be ok. he's the blorbo he's the only character he's the love of my life. im never forgetting him. a character has never resonated with me this deeply. i can never be allowed to meet him if he becomes real because i think we are too similar and we will hate each other. its sootbur but im not even a bursona. does that make sense. have i scared anyone off yet...

[mthofferings2023]

Menatiera

See Menatiera’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Discord: menatiera Email: hungarianwhovian@gmail.com Tumblr: menatiera

Preferred organizations: - Anything from the list of approved organizations

Will create works that contain: Hurt/comfort, Angst with a happy ending, all kinds of AUs and canon divergences; I'm all over happy team dynamics, creature!fics, etc. I consider myself open-minded and am comfortable with most tropes and types and all! I'd like to focus more on character arcs and feelings over the plot, so if your prompt is very plot-heavy, I might not be your gal. Comfortable with A/B/O universes as well, if that's your fancy. I am happy to write E-rated fics too, and I am involved in the BDSM lifestyle so I'm happy to incorporate elements both smutty and platonic into fics. (Especially: shibari, dom/sub dynamics, etc.) If you want asexual/polyamorous character representation, I am more than happy to provide! I love the tropes: everyone is queer, team as family, soft boys being in love, pining, honest communication efforts. My favorite characters that I'd like to write with: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff.

Will not create works that contain: Angst without a happy ending/major character death; good characters permanently/willingly turned evil. I likely won't write about black characters as main characters because I don't know enough about their life experiences to do them justice. Same with trans characters - I appreciate when people write them, but as a cis person, I don't feel equipped to capture their life experiences. Will not write: watersports, total power exchange, hero/villain ships, characters turned evil for real, daddy kink, love at first sight, humiliation kink, jealousy, breakup between the main characters, cheating, modern/no powers au, sport au, set in the [any past/historical period] AU, Stephen Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy characters.

  -- Fic or Other Writing --

Auction ID: 1047

Will create works for the following relationships: Bucky Barnes-centric - MCU Steve Rogers-centric - MCU Tony Stark-centric - MCU Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark - MCU Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers - MCU Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - MCU Bucky Barnes/Any - MCU Steve Rogers/Any - MCU Tony Stark/Any - MCU Natasha Romanov/Any - MCU

Work Description: I'll write a fanfiction for you based on your prompt! I work best when I exchange ideas back and forth with someone, so i'm looking for bidders who want to brainstorm/cheer read as I write. **Characters:** I am open to mostly anything not on my DNW list involving my 3 faves: Tony, Bucky and Steve. I marked down both the character-centric and the /Any pairing, because as long as one/either/all of them is in the focus, I'm pretty flexible. **Ships:** They can be platonic friends, fuckbuddies, living in a loose or committed relationship, queer polycule, romantically paired, threesomed, four- and moresomed with additional characters (Nat, Pepper, Clint are particular faves for me in this kinda setup, as well Everyone is queer because Avengers), etc - up to your pick! Platonic and romantic side-ships are also welcome, if you have particular interests. Not gonna write about Stephen Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy, underage, or any hero/villain ships. Otherwise, feel free to go wild with the logistics of how many limbs go how many directions either in bed or outside of it. **Universe:** I mostly work based on the MCU pre-IW/post CA:TWS-era, with comics and other universes sprinkled over and fused into. AKA I take what I like from anywhere and mix it to become my own delightful sandbox. So AU and canon divergence and fusion story ideas are also welcome. **Tiers of minimum wordcounts:** Under 10$: 2K words 11-20$: 2-5K words 20-40$: 10K words 41-60$: 15K words 60+$: 20K words These are the minimums, the end result depends on the prompt - if yours require a 50K epic to do justice to, well, I hope you're ready to brainstorm and read that much! :) I tend to be wordy in my writing, and short stories turned into 5-figure word counts in the past too. If you'd like to see examples of my fics, please visit my AO3. Also feel free to hit me up on discord (menatiera there as well) to discuss prompt ideas, if you're not sure if I'd write this or that, etc.! I'm always open to answer your questions!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature, Explicit

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 22 (12 AM ET) to October 28 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

[thesoulesscollection]

Angel! Cloudface Hc

Based off the last posts; (●) and (●)

Since I Hc Cloudface as being an angelic (same with Charles) I decided to do more with him as he's my favorite Toppat leader. Although unfortunately, I don't really post much about him, really. 

Has vitiligo that causes a loss of skin color in lighter patches, same with his hair where it's primarily a dark gray with white streaks 

^ As well, he have heterochromia, with his left eye is a pale blue-gray while the right is a bright golden orange

^ His outfits mostly contain very loose and flowing during his time with the Angelics. Traditionally, they used smooth silk and leather for their clothing. For him, he wore his favorite colors blue and white with hints of gold

^ When older, per his own personal comfort he wore heavier articles of clothing. Still done in his favorite colors, but more duller with the addition of gray and black

From a newborn to the age of 17-18yo, he'd lived a sheltered life with the Angelics, never knowing what's going on outside their hidden village 

^ Right before he met a certain someone, Dusty, a mere human, who somehow stumbled in (to the shock of the others) and blew open Cloud's worldview. 

^ Dusty was only ever allowed to stay by the angels due to being critically hurt and needed to heal. It would've went against their morals to decline to help one in desperate need

^ Then with Cloud's high expertise in magical healing, he was called upon to help the human and from there something sparks between the two

^ So with spending so much time together, the two almost instantly become close friends and more. As Cloud was the one to help tend to the other man the most with his injuries 

^ At the end of Dusty's stay and was given a recommended time by the Angelics to leave (and never come back), Cloudy firmly decided to go with him

^ It wasn't a pleasant experience filled with heated arguments, as the Angelics pleaded for him to stay and he wanted to leave and explore the world

From the village, Cloudface had learned basic skills and magic, ie. Healing yet secretly began to look into unknown magic 

Magic is already well known for the angels, it's natural, expectant for them to take the route to become godly beings and the embodiment of soothing, comforting light

They're more set in their ways, the traditional way, so when Cloudface began to branch off their destined path, especially after his departure, they called him the Fallen Angel for his need to know more and experiment with his magic. 

^ Unlike the other Angelics (or Charles), Cloudy is more intune to his real nature and was able to freely switch between the two.

^ Due to learning this new form of magic, there was of course, some serious side effects that began to deteriorate his health more over the years as he got older 

[plasticgelo]

Today was the first time i brought attention to actively "seizing the day". I actively made choices today that only brought me joy.

I have been making more decisions that old gelo could not even fathom. There is reward in life’s little risks. Plus! You are the only one to get in the way of what could be; so why not at least give it a try? And is it even a “risk” to begin with? I’d like to replace this word with “possibility”. Being open to making decisions based off of potential possibilities has opened up doors of opportunity I have been longing for.

My 80 degree saturday was spent all day in the sun. I was working on multiple cars today with my friends, and I had genuine joy to wrestle with these old japanese machines together. (For some reason I value struggling with others because it brings out their true selves, and how well they are to adapt to the unknown.) It is so much more rewarding to see them drive off with smiles on their faces.

This joy of mine originated in going through car trouble in solitude; it makes it valuable to me to see my friends go thru similar experiences. And especially how they choose to solve these problems. I enjoy teaching them potential solutions to these challenges, it is cool to watch the gears in their heads make sense in real time. (does this mean i value 'acts of service' as a projected love langauge?) It is also very gratifying to see their style bloom through the choices they make with their machines.

Owning an old car testifies the quality and how intentional you are with the decisions you make. (does this reflect a person's life?) Things are going to break; but how you deal with these repairs says a lot about your discipline as a person.

The underlying feeling of "tomorrow is never promised, so why not have fun and be at-most present now?" Pushes me to have as much fun as possible. In safe loosely calculated moderation of course. Could this be dangerous?

Things i'm thinking about this month:

Why do I value the experiences of those around me so much? And because of this ratio, does it effect my internal peace? With that said where are my boundaries in this realm?

Who drains me? Who uplifts me?

How are the relationships being nurtured with people I care about? Be mindful, considerate, and intentional with who you give your energy to.

Remember to take your time! It is very easy for you to go head first over you interests at the time. Remember to ground yourself in what you truly value. Trust, reflect, and attract.

Be mindful of when you start to spiral into negative thought patterns. It is okay to feel a certain way, feel those feelings, process, and move on. Continue to release anything that does not serve you.

Part of me feels selfish about being so protective over my mental safe-space. Part of me also considers the mental safety of others around me. Where is that line?

Last couple of months have been a blast! The seeds you have planted are growing; tend to them with much care.

August mental check in