#loony toons fucking writing

[thebibliosphere]

I'm down the rabbit hole of Pennyworth fan theories on reddit (leave me alone, it's research) and found an absolutely hilarious take about the ending that dropping an atomic bomb on London wouldn't have any major consequences because they "didn't even aim at Parliament, just 10 Downing Street," and it's like, buddy.

I know Pennyworth takes a gruesome loony-toons-esque approach to violence sometimes, but if you drop a nuclear bomb on 10 Downing Street, Parliament is absolutely in the blast radius. That shit's gone.

Also lol, I forgot that in Gotham, Miami gets nuked, which is the explanation for why Florida is like that. Like, yeah. Sure, I'll headcanon that as the origins of Florida Man.

[mamamittens]

As much as gear 5 Luffy would be horrifying as a yandere at the same time I can’t help but not take take it too seriously.

Like the dude is doing the looney tunes gag of doing a wolf whistle while stamping his foot against the ground, his eyes turn into hearts or some shit and his tongue quite literally is rolling out his mouth. Maybe he’s even doing the Pepe Al pew joke of him floating with love hearts flying around him.

Is that horrifying, yes of course. But is that shit goofy as hell also yes.

It certainly makes writing for him specifically difficult because its... it's not that serious but it is???

He's literally an overly attached reality warper. Writing for yandere gear 5 is like seriously writing yandere Bugs Bunny--on some level most people can't take that seriously despite the very real threat they'd pose. It's a clash of tone that actively fights itself.

And don't get me wrong, I love writing what happens when tones clash and reality folds in on itself to make two contradictory statements equally true. It's one of my favorite things about really thoughtful crossovers.

But.

Yanderes are a very dangerous threat regardless of how pretty you dress them up, very fucked up on an emotional, physical, and psychological level. It is abuse covered in chocolate.

Loony Tunes on the other hand isn't dangerous. Anvils and pianos fall from the sky and pancake people into literal disks they either pop back from or comedically blow on their thumb to reflate. They burst through walls and shoot clear up to the stars on the regular. But it's all for a punch line, it's not that serious. It's nostalgic and actively telling you to not think too hard about it.

So... yandere gear 5 Luffy is a very bizarre thing to write about because on a very real level there's no like, boundary here. Whether or not what he does is traumatizing or physically damaging is entirely up to him. He could beat the shit out of you and you literally shake it off as though nothing happened. The body horror aspect alone...

So, as a final note to this entirely too serious take on the existence of a yandere gear 5 Luffy specifically, this scenario is uniquely fucked up and damaging from literally any angle. But at some point there's not much else to say about it. Toon logic is unique to a visual medium and trying to explain or imply how fucked up it is, is sort of a losing battle. Either that or you start to feel like a kill joy actively murdering the concept of fun and animated physical comedy nearly all of us grew up on in some form or fashion.

So unless the ask is particularly interesting, I don't think I'm going to be doing anymore headcanons for gear 5 yandere.

[dootznbootz]

I know I write about how wild Penelope is (she is) but OdyPen is very likeminded. Odysseus is just as wild and out of pocket. It's just that we already KNOW that from the epics. He's a reckless idiotic genius, same with her. It's just that Penelope was under a lot of stress and was missing her other half and that's why only a lil bit of her crazy slipped out with her sneeze omen of death. Also, Homer trying to keep her "mysterious" even to the narrator as she's the only one who can "trick the trickster".

They're both fucking crazy in the best way. It's just that in the beginning this man was just head over heels so even when she was purposely saying and doing out-of-pocket shit to try and "freak him out" he thought nothing of it and just thought "Fuck yeah, that's hot wife shit." They're both fucking weird. Both have ADHD and are reckless and silly

Odysseus: Once me and my sister went off to the cliffs when we weren't supposed to, and we messed around too much and so a big rock in the side fell off. It freaked everyone out. We never told anyone. Soothsayer said it meant no one could fish on the sea for 2 days because of how it now has two points and the boulder landed in the ocean... Penelope: ... 😧 Odysseus,😅: Haha, I don't know why I said that. It sounded cooler in my head... shit Penelope: No,no, that's fucking cool. I've fucked around with some things but I don't think I've ever done that much damage. Did you see the big splash??? Odysseus:

I can't emphasize enough how weird they BOTH are. They're both menaces together. With the whole "A joy to Friends, and a disaster for their enemies." Except it's not just to their enemies. They just DO shit.

They'll literally screw someone over with a devious plan turning away laughing and then immediately walk into a rake like some sort of loony toons show. They'd fall for the ICUP trick and then go on a rant on how that's so stupid and not a real trick and then try and pull it on someone else. THAT SHIT

THEY'RE LIL SHITS

[wannabe-minion-of-chaos]

Elaborating on this now. Not sure what I'm gonna do with this since I lack the ability to write and draw consistently but for now just take some random ideas I've come up with

The actual events of the South Park Show are not canon except for a few events and consistencies such as Kenny's immortality, or Disarray seeking out Chaos to join him, it just plays out a little differently

However other characters from the show such as Stan and Kyle and such still exist as background or side characters, eventually all of the other heroes would be introduced and become reoccurring characters. And they would still have similar dynamics

Mysterion and Professor Chaos are the protagonists of this hypothetical series, each episode either focusing on the both of them in usual hero vs villain shenanigans or just one of them doing something themselves. And General Disarray is almost ALWAYS accompanying Chaos in this series

Very much a cartoon series, over the top logic and all. It's not as slapstick based as loony toons Chaos's plans are VERY over the top, he's the literal embodiment of cartoon villain

The first two episodes would be their origins, and them meeting each other for the first time. Though Mysterions powers would still be mostly a mystery since that's a driving force of his character. Disarray's origins are revealed a little as well as he seeks out chaos just as he does in his episode in SP

Mysterion is still immortal but him actually dying doesn't happen in every episode (while I was thinking about how it would happen I basically had the same dilemma Matt and Trey did about killing him off every time), when it does happen though he becomes the same ghost Mysterion from TFBW (I wanna compare this to Danny phantom but I haven't actually seen that show). He also gets the shadow powers

Chaos gets his electricity powers too, and the minions

Disarray gets no powers BUT he does get the role of that one character that can invent literally anything he wants because fuck logic. Does chaos need a giant mech? A time machine? A ray gun that can turn people into hamsters? Disarray can invent it! Most plots that would involve inventions such as this would have them be created by him

Chaos and Mysterion have a very Lego Batman and Lego joker dynamic. And aren't necessarily set on DESTROYING the other as much as they are about winning. Chaos's plans rarely involve actually hurting anyone either he just tries to be a menace and spread...well, chaos! Mysterion stops him to avoid his plans spiraling out of control and causing serious damage. There's no hatred between their rivalry, trying to stop each other has just become part of their daily lives which they're sort of come to accept and sometimes even enjoy (at least in Chaos's case)

The Raccoon (I'm not using the actual name sorry) is a reoccurring antagonist to both Chaos and Mysterion, despite seeing himself as a hero. And his motivations are similar, create a better world for himself but not others.

Mysterion is very much still Karen's guardian angel, and she would show up quite a bit as a character

Karen and knows Dougie outside of him being General Disarray, and Dougie is unaware Karen is Mysterion's sister and Karen is unaware of Dougie being Disarray.

Karen will eventually try and set out as her own hero without the permission of Mysterion after being denied being his sidekick because he fears her getting hurt, to which she will become General Disarray's nemesis and Dougie will discover she's Mysterion's sister and start getting conflicted (in pure perry the platypus logic Karen would not recognize Dougie).

Dougie and Karen are a very underrated character duo sent post

All the "background" characters eventually are revealed to have powers too, these being the soon to be freedom pals and/or raccoon and friends, the first one to be revealed is Human kite who becomes a close ally of Mysterion's since (since Kyle canonically helped Mysterion during that one deleted scene). Each one is foreshadowed/hinted too before being revealed too in their own introductory episode

I have a few ideas for other characters who could show up as villains too, but that's a rant for another day :]

All of chaos's hamster minions are named after breakfast foods

I'm gonna cut it short there but IF ANYONE WANTS TO ASK ABOUT THIS AU PLEASE DO it's gonna be engraved into my head forever now and I love coming up with ideas like these

Based on this post, I kinda wanna see/make an au with Professor Chaos as an actual Saturday morning cartoon villain in that kind of setting. With General Disarray still as his sidekick of course, and Mysterion as his arch nemesis.

[ballin-and-cant-get-up]

MK Intros - Steamboat PT 2

I really enjoyed writing this!

Request -  Can you PLEASE do more of those toon physics Reader mortal kombat intros?? They were so good!!! And I adore rubber hose animation 😍 Maybe with Johnny, Rambo, Sonya, and Jax? Or if thats too many just whichever ones you want! Thank you!

R will have abilities associated with Loony Toons and Rubber Hose animation. They have a history with Kano and are currently working with SF.

I chose to do Johnny, Rambo, and Sonia.

MK Intros - Steamboat 

MK Intros - Steamboat Pt 3

Other Content: Masterlist

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Sonya:

(Y/n): I just want to say: I’m sorry.

Sonya: . . .

(Y/n): Please don’t hurt me. T~T

_______________________________________________________

Sonya, Calmly: (Y/n), I am not upset.

(Y/n), Relieved: OH, THANK RAIDEN!

Sonya: I AM PISSED!

_______________________________________________________

(Y/n): It was an accident. I make weird sounds sometimes.

Sonya: What sound do you make when I hit you?

(Y/n): Have you every heard a squeaky toy?

_______________________________________________________

Sonya: What were you two doing?

(Y/n), Panicked: Nothing! I swear! Cassie and I are just friends.

Sonya: Really? Cause I heard cartoonish crashing and a saxophone.

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Johnny:

(Y/n):  We can’t do that!

Johnny: You’re missing out. The “Phenomenal 5″ is going to be a hit.

(Y/n), defeated: We’re gonna get sued.

_______________________________________________________

Johnny:  Look at that! It's exactly three seconds before I honk your nose And pull your underwear over your head.

(Y/n):��Somebody needs to stop you.

Johnny: You were good kid, real good, but as long as I'm around you'll always be second best, see?

_______________________________________________________

(Y/n): Hey there Johnny Bravo.

Past Johnny: I love that show!

(Y/n): That...makes a lot of sense.

_______________________________________________________

Johnny: I heard you pissed off my wife.

(Y/n): Please, don’t hit me. She did enough. 0_0

Johnny: Hit you?! I came here to see if you were still alive.

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Rambo:

(Y/n):  Oh shit! Someone has been eating their spinach.

Rambo: I don’t catch your meaning.

(Y/n): Of course you wouldn’t.

_______________________________________________________

Rambo: Are you part of Special Forces?

(Y/n): Yes...Maybe?...I am honestly not sure.

Rambo: We’ll find out soon enough.

_______________________________________________________

(Y/n): I think everyone is overacting.

Rambo: You could have compromised our whole operation.

(Y/n): What was he gonna do? Hack us through a banana? It’s a fucking fruit!

_______________________________________________________

Rambo: War is nothing to joke about.

(Y/n): Do you really think that low of me?

Rambo: I don’t know what to think of you.

[notallwonder]

Watching the new episodes of Criminal Minds: Evolution again.

Under a Read More for those avoiding spoilers.

+ Point of clarification: did they retcon that JJ & Will never moved to New Orleans, or are we to believe they moved away then back at some point? -> answered in Ep 2 Will says "since we got back".

+ Garcia's "I used to be good at that" re: putting on English mannerisms made me smile bc callback to when Emily was at Interpol

+ Luke is a sweet sweet guy. I like him a lot, though to be honest I don't pay that much attention to him (because my attention is elsewhere *cough* Prentiss).

+ something really rubs me the wrong way about those "hers" antidepressant ads. They seem kind of creepy / dystopian?

+ I hope we get to know some of Penelope's new friends a bit.

+ it still really cracks me up that Garcia uses such tricked out GUIs on her computer. That shit takes up RAM and makes everything hard to see. Because computer nerd on (network) TV. But also, good for her.

+ the whole SOAR concept is too funny. No one born before the millennium has access besides PG? Does she code and maintain the whole thing all by herself (obvs not)? Are the engineers also only 22 and younger? (this would become a legal issue of ageism in hiring!) Also "unhackable"...so there's some kind of elaborate and potentially invasive verification system to prevent catfish accounts? Really. And once you age out of SOAR are you just thrown to the 30-50 feral hogs with the rest of us?

+ EMILY PRENTISS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS SHOWSTOPPING I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

+ second time around I continue to appreciate AJ Cook's well muscled shoulders.

+ I'm very happy they got Zach Gilford for this role. Who knows if the writing will ultimately be good (lmao), but he has the range.

+ Director Noodle at it again, throwing a tantrum because Emily Prentiss did not bow to his will. Section Chief Foxiest Silver Fox does not simply roll over and obey (in her professional life at least).

+ lmao the not-an-Oscar-Wilde-quote quote attribution is so unnecessarily dumb

+ Emily & Tara are a great duo. Friends, crime-fighters, (etc!), they just stand up well to one another. The vibes are fabulous. It's the dynamic closest to what Emily had with Derek, that comfortable teasing and trust.

+ also noting that Tara asks Emily if she knows Rebecca Wilson, and apparently she does - enough to know she's at the DOJ. Perhaps they've worked on case(s) together before. Orrrrr maybe they met at some LGBTQ Feds networking event. 😏 Emily does give her a very warm smile when Rebecca shows her face at the BAU.

+ The way Zach Gilford asked unsub #2 "are you disobeying me?"............I don't know, it made my ears perk.

+ in the Garcia / Rossi scene, there is much to enjoy. The insight into Garcia's mindset. Rossi's resigned "I did. I kept falling asleep." I can't help but laugh at PG fully saying "Licensed Clinical Social Worker." I appreciate the specificity, but it's a whole mouthful!

+ fucked up that Garcia's login credentials still work. Any self respecting agency would make you change your password every 3-6 months at least, not to mention she's No Longer Employed There. But who needs real administrative mess when you can have loony toons (plot-based) administrative mess?!

+ Tara wearing a lot of plaid and window pane patterns. Aside from the obvious, it's just a nice costuming choice that remains kind of conservative but sets her apart from the others.

+ Most of the wardrobe is in blues and browns and grays. I wonder if this will change as time goes on (i.e. will Garcia bring the color back) or if that's going to remain through the whole season.

+ Okay, but did y'all also catch the weird look that Rebecca & Luke exchanged in this briefing room scene? It seemed like more than "close the door". Is there some kind of history there?

+ Oh this show is so silly!!!!! So silly, and it still makes me happy. Incredible.

[hottielindholm]

wait can you write 'putting a hand over the other's mouth to shut them up' 👀

50. putting a hand over the other's mouth to shut them up (450 words)

send me a prompt

“I’m just saying,” Buck says, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“You would think that,” Eddie grumbles. He lifts his beer to take a sip, glaring at Buck’s broad back where he’s doing Eddie’s dishes. “You’re not the one who’d have a lake for a backyard for the next twenty years.”

Buck glances over his shoulder at him, an exasperated smile on his face. “I think you’re exaggerating.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, plunks his beer on the counter next to where he’s leaning. “I’m just saying, if we get a fucking slip and slide for the kid’s birthday, we’re gonna have to replant all the grass back there—is that what you want to spend your summer doing?”

“If it means giving Chris what he wants for his birthday, then yes,” Buck shuts the water off and reaches down to dry off his hands on the rag that hangs on the cabinet. He turns around and steps up next to Eddie, leaning a hip against the counter and snagging his beer for a sip. “He’d be so excited Eddie, come on.”

Eddie watches him for a moment, shadows sinking into the angles of his face from the shitty lighting in his kitchen. He heaves a sigh. “Okay, maybe a slip—“

A hand claps over his mouth and Eddie rears his head back, making an undignified noise and glaring at Buck as he pulls away.

“What the fuck?”

Buck shushes him harshly, head tilted towards the kitchen door as he listens for something. A floorboard creaks, and Eddie raises his brows as Buck.

“Chris?” Eddie calls.

A moment later Christopher’s fluffy head appears in the doorway, a sheepish smile on his face. He’s wearing loony toons pyjamas and his glasses, which makes Eddie frown.

“You’re supposed to be in bed, buddy,” he says, “what did we say about listening in?”

“I wanted some water,” Chris tells him, eyes wide and innocent. Buck snorts.

“I bet you did,” Eddie mutters, but he goes to the cabinet and gets a glass to fill. He hands it to Chris. “Go back to bed, you little busybody.”

Chris shoots him a grin. “Does this mean I’m getting the slip and slide?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Buck and I are still discussing it. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Chris sighs, and turns to shuffle back to his room. “Goodnight, Buck!”

“Night, buddy!” Buck calls back, and he’s beaming when Eddie turns back to face him. “Come on, you can’t say no now.”

“I could,” Eddie says, just to be difficult. Buck pokes him in the side. He sighs. “But I guess, if you promise to help with the clean up, we can get the slip and slide.”

Chris whoops from the hallway.

[zumpietoo]

Oh Lookity, It Continueth

(from Scratchy’s didn’t readsplain earlier):

Yeah, cuz you gots to get your lies/manipulations on the same page, amirite?

OML.....what should you do???? Dude, it’s a fucking fanfic about a fucking TeeVee show.....watch or don’t watch. Those are your options. And I think in your case, Unshura, definitely and clearly the latter.....and maybe look into some therapy. Or something...

Yes, this would be the rational way to approach it....and, again, you ARE also aware that it’s all pretend, riiiiiighttt???

Which is all the moar reason for you to stop watching. Also, really, you’re a dude? I’d peg you as a 12 year old, rather dimwitted fangurl, myself..

It actually all does and you missed it, cuz you chose to (denial some moar, huh?), buuuutt....

You should stop watching. Or, at a bare minimum, stop fucking lying....

You’ve got that fucking right.....like “silly” is entirely too generous and kind, dude...OMGGGGGG.....it’s a TEE VEE SHOW!!! Also, how exactly are you going to “fight for your ship”??? You don’t write the show, loony-toons...

You can actually do either, just not be so fucking batshit, bullying and lying about it....

Also oooohhhh the dramaaaaa!!!

And by “distinct possibility”, I’m guessing you mean 90+% probability??? This is QUITE the facing the music-fest we’re having today, huh? Cause I’ve been pointing out how wrong y’all are/were for over a year, now....And you aren’t BHs, you’re Slizzystans....

However, it’s heelarious to me that what prompted this was a fanfic by a glorified fanboi.....who had already intimated his limited knowledge (Jabi gonna stay) and you chose to ignore, months agoooo....

You mean when you either A) didn’t watch it or B) weren’t a nu sock account?

As for “canon”----A) 6x05 wasn’t---B) again, not gonna miss ya, bitch!

So you can accept them splitting up, but not really? And then only if it matches your fanfic? The irony about “closure” is that was a LOT of Jug’s trauma, as well.....and something Slizzy gleefully looked to deny him.

Oohhhh those meanie bully writers, daring to write their show their way!!! Soooo mean!! And yes, all intended expressly to torment your sweet, angel girl ass...

Or it’s like that first grader throwing a tantrum cuz it’s nap time and Mommy and Daddy took the favorite toy away.

Either way, your entitlement is breathtaking, slizzypinto.

Wait....is BrainFreeze (while getting it wrong, your shipmates are pissed off cuz Jug turned Slizzy down...) actually kinda being the voice of reason here???

(and yes, Alex even (self) “published” a Pinkle fanfic, dude...however, neither he nor y’all is a writer)

Then she shits on it....blah, blah, blah....and all wrong. And neither Jug nor Tabs will be cheating on the other....DW, dumbass!

Just because I oh-so-dramatically asked doesn’t mean I wanted to hear this!!! Let me be pathetic in peace!!! You aren’t being silly for having those questions, that’s called admitting reality. You’re being silly for making so much out of a TeeVee show....

You choose to be there. Get over yourself. AGAIN

Because they aren’t remotely “treading water”? (not even sure what you fucking mean, there, dude) And, again, it’s actually good you’re checking out and accepting you no longer enjoy the show....

Whelp, you also thought BH would “talk” (i.e. Jug would grovel) and they’d immediately reconcile----as you told me directly almost a year ago. So, looks like you’re wrong, once again.

The “new ships” have been together to an extent/on varying levels for over a year now and we know, at least thru ep 12, now Jabi’s still going strong...

Once again, they aren’t popular with Slizzystans. And the writers DGAF.

He actually wrote it for less than 4 seasons AND he’s wanted to do Barfie since fucking forever.....

Also, STILL with “they’re gonna talk!!!”???? Good lord, duuuudeee....noooo....also, that they don’t have closure merely illustrates how fucked up they are....

And, actually, the couples they wrote for years were toxic AF, with all sorts of issues and in the case of Pinkle and VD had nothing in common...

That’s because, to you, you want to see it that way, Snorty. And you’re really, really, REALLY dumb. And, again, it’s a Tee Vee SHOW

No you don’t you fucking liar....and, again, you’re pissed cuz you didn’t get your way, LBR....

“Propoganda”???? Duuuuuddddeee.....also, from what I’m hearing, this pissed off Barfies moar than y’all....they want for “everybody to give up”? Ummm....they want peeps to watch the show....cuz, again, it’s a TEE VEE SHOW.....not a fascist dictatorship.

Yes, others: Chip, Penny and Used Napkin....

The “struggle”???? My gawd she’s dramatic!!!

Errmm....and, again, it’ll make no difference in terms of what’s actually on our tee vee screen!

You’re all weird. You’re all weirdos. And batshit liars...

Ummm.....Brainfreeze? Not what’s happening.....and he isn’t “your boy”, if he were, you’d LOVE Jabi....

Let me sulk in peace!!! Oh the humanity, oh the Pee Arr!!

[buildoblivion]

Yo but like.....what did Reggie even *do* to Klaus? The mausoleum flashback wasn't the first time he died bc Reggie was waiting for ressurection. But Klaus didn't remember any of it till he saw it in the void. So he'd repressed all of that and God knows what else seeing as he was so happy to let Reggie train him and spend time with him this time? What was the training he did remember?? he remembers enough to know Reggie was an asshole and be happy he died in S1. And like 1 day of admittedly fucked up training and nu-reggie has managed to instill some level of control over his power in him, wtf was OG Reggie doing for years???? Or Did Reggie just crack his head open like an egg and Klaus just scramble the rest himself by apparently doing meth at 12 years old??......the man thought he was a rascally loony toon for chrissakes ;_;

you’re so right I’ve been thinking about it and like … okay so in fics usually it’s klaus making the ghosts real or he hits his head or his heart just gives out from exhaustion but I couldn’t interpret anything specific (I’ve only watched the scene once so far) but I’m assuming it’s something like Reggie left him in there for a long time and poor lil klaus couldn’t handle it? You’re right it’s a bit vague 😅😅

The way I’ve rationalised it is like maybe he noticed klaus flatline in the mausoleum before (it could be why he was so insistent in leaving him there so long - even if klaus couldn’t control the ghosts he could get some data on his immortality powers) - like I said it could be from cold, exhaustion or whatever, one day he comes in to find klaus stone cold, starts to write him off as one more failure before he bursts back to life, Reggie manages to keep a poker face and make a note to experiment more in future

So yeah, Reggie finds out and THIS is what clues him in to klaus having a lot of potential powers wise, but he decides to keep it in his back pocket as an avenue for later as Klaus doesn’t seem to remember anything happening - when klaus continues to be resistant to basic exposure therapy (yikes 😅) Reggie casts it aside and klaus carries on his merry way never knowing that his father was always testing him for this - once his addiction issues get under way maybe he finds it easier to brush off anything he sees on the other side as drug fuelled hallucinations and he thinks he’s the willee kayote or whatever 😂😅

Idk tho this is sleep deprived rambling on my end - this is the problem with characters backstories being revealed in dream sequences - especially ones for characters that already have kinda janky rules and attention towards their powers anyway 😂😂😂😂

As an aside tho I love that conversation they have about Reggie leaving klaus so untrained because he was a bit of an untapped mine that he wasn’t sure how to handle - maybe he felt that if such a powerful dude was so resistant maybe it was better to leave him be if he wasn’t gonna be useful - a regret sure but not a threat to Reggie and his plans

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

can we get some Sammy headcannons?

!!!!

-He is autistic, thinks in black and white morality, is sensitive to sounds most people can’t hear (Like the humming noises of certain machines or a certain pump switch in his office), tends to really focus on his work and put it above all else regardless of if he likes it or not, doesn’t understand most social cues but also doesn’t care enough about other peoples’ opinions of him to learn them.

-He does not know that he is autistic and just thinks that a vast majority of people he meets are just really rude, stupid, weird, and or outright cruel.

-Sees himself as cruel as well.

-While his absolute favorite food is chocolate cake, he’s a big fan of sweets in general, the richer the better. He’s also a big meat lover and if he was never stuck in the studio, bacon soup would stay his favorite food as he’d have the freedom to eat it while it’s fresh, hot, and in moderation. But as the soup lost its luster, his new favorite savory dish is lamb pie.

-Least favorite food is greasy and/or store bought mac and cheese. Homemade is fine, but it’s on thin ice.

-His father is a black american man and his mother is Welsh. Due to custody arrangements when he was growing up, he grew up in both America and Wales. He preferred living in the latter because in addition to enduring ridicule from racist kids and adults alike, whenever he lived with his dad, the two were almost always on the move for many reasons.

-Likes making candles, especially scented ones. Sometimes he’ll give them to people he likes.

-Writes letters to his parents weekly, he likes to keep in touch even if he doesn’t seem like the type.

-Met Jack once in childhood when he was still teaching and met the lyricist again when he was taking a vacation in Europe. The two bonded over being neurodivergent shared music tastes, architecture, and various mythologies and the two have been best friends for until Joey started driving a wedge between them.

-Jack’s one of the few people Sammy sees as a normal, genuinely good person, even after the studio.

-Bringing Wally and his little family into his home and life was an impulse decision that he justified making to himself. “Anyone else in my position would do the same thing, nobody, no matter how cruel they are, would just leave two teens and a baby to die on the streets.”

-Norman and Sammy didn’t like each other when they first started working together. The former thought the latter was far too weird, even for him, and the latter thought that the former was rude and creepy. But they got along for their mutual friends’ sake and got used to each other over the years.

-Many people assume Sammy’s rivalry with Tom started the day he started installing pipes in the music department. In reality, it started the day Tom recruited Wally as he sees the Janitor as a little brother and worries about how Tom treats him. (Got nothing against Sammy X Wally stuff in general, in fact I think it’s cute. It’s just not going down in my mainverse due to the fact that a guy in his mid/late twenties dating a vulnerable teenager who’s relying on him for shelter is a GIANT. FUCKING. YIKES.)

-‘The Prophet’ is not a personality made up by the ink, nor is that his non-lucid state (that title belongs to his searcher form) that loony toon is really Sammy. But truth be told, there are important pieces of him that have been consumed by either his god, or the endless well of voices. So he while he’s disappointed that others think that, he’s not surprised.

-In a lot of ways he mourns the man he used to be, but is also at peace with his death.

-He thinks that Malice is Allison. And that the angel who doesn’t have a melted face is also Allison but had gotten the ‘perfection’ she craved and will lose again to the ink.

-He does not know who the Boris in the safe house really is, but sometimes he thinks that he’s Wally. Buddy doesn’t want to correct him in fear of losing a valuable ally, but doesn’t know how he’ll react when he finds out the truth.

-Only a handful people in the village truly believe in the Bendy cult, everybody else is there for food, shelter, to hear Sammy’s voice because it sounds nice when he’s not angry, supplies, hope to find someone they lost in the ink, companionship, and protection from the many threats above like the angels, the bad wolves, and the Butchered gang.

-As a being made of ink who no longer wants to be made of ink, he misses having a skeleton. So he will intentionally absorb wood scraps, discarded broken bones, and spare nails in an attempt to re-create one. This... does not work, but he does end up with a very cool and terrifying last-resort defense mechanism! If only using it didn’t hurt him like all hell breaking loose...

-There have been times where Sammy has successfully reunited with Wally, but he does not remember them. 

-He knows that Henry’s not Bendy and he’s not hallucinating. The animator’s identity and familiarity just clicked at the wrong place and time, having the former prophet recognize that the man he tried to sacrifice was someone who is not immortal, but was sacred and important to his horrible false god: the man who gave birth to him.

-Has mixed feelings about Susie and Norman after finding out the truth about them. In fact, after escaping the studio, his feelings for most of the former studio workers are... ...complicated.

-Except for Joey, Tom, Allison, Jack, Wally, and Henry: “FUCK you...Fuck you...fuck you... You two are cool... And fuck you, I’m out.”

-Keeps most of his acquired magic knowledge, but keeps the fact he still knows it a secret from the studio workers.

[olfac2ree]

Day 3

I asked out a girl today! Or at least I asked for her phone number. She looked awful cute so I decided to risk it. I’ve asked out a couple girls before, but never asked their number. Cold approaching is so hard. She said “I don’t usually give out my phone number” but I should have replied with “I don’t usually ask!” I always balk past the first part and get swept off too easily. I gotta insist!

She had a faded loony toons shirt on and looked like she just rolled out of bed. Sleepy is a style of girl I like. They look like good cuddle material.

It’s a shame I’m not in school anymore. I’d cold approach a lot more people, just be more social in general. It can really make some people’s days and most people don’t ever really peek outside their own social bubble as often as I do. People like to stay in their own cliques.

I think I’m gonna be okay no matter what comes my way.

I have itchy feet these days. I don’t know why God made itching so fucking satisfying if it’s bad for you.

I heard once from a friend that itching is “pleasure denied”. That sounds more like an opioid thing than actually true in an of itself. I’ve tried to focus on them while trying to resist them and it doesn’t do anything good other than maybe stopping it.

Doing all this writing is making me want to get back into text chatting with people. It’s a damn shame my phone fucken sucks because typing on there should be more convenient. But it’s not, the border makes it super hard and the keyboard is nonresponsive and the letters just mush into eachother and I fatfinger everything. I know it’s not just me too because if I pick up someone else’s phone is a breath of fresh air.

I ate a double cheeseburger today and large fries with a shamrock shake. I could havfe just had the shake, and I wish I did. I told my mom I wasn’t that hungry and she got upset so I ended up eating everything. Just a bad situation to be in, but I really gotta learn to turn down opportunities for free food. My parents come get me once a week to hang out and grocery shop and it usually means food, but I had already eaten today for breakfast. Medium shamrock shake 560 calories. McDouble 437. Medium fries 320. And the two pancake sausage dogs I ate for breakfast 250 each. That’s 1,817 calories... if I only eat some vegetables at dinner and no dessert I’ll be fine. Definitely no dessert.

Although dessert, a frozen greek yogurt sea salt caramel bar is only 100 calories... sigh.

I wish I had more friends I could count on as confidants.

I wonder what it’s like to kiss a woman. I want to know that taste, the taste of a lover’s lips.

I imagine it’s like encountering an oasis after many months of mirages, living off of well water and rain or maybe nothing at all, and then this lush green oasis in the dessert that seems to good to be true. You take a sip and find it so refreshing that you step in and bathe in it. There’s enough water for whatever you plan to do with it and you don’t have to worry about rationing or limiting it at all. It’s all just there -- there for the taking.

I’m not sure if that makes sense or is right. I’m new at metaphorcrafting.

Is kissing like the sweet shade of a palm tree in a tropical environment? The sun beating down and you knowing you have to be places but you allow yourself the mercy of stopping for a minute or two in the shade. There’s Sunkist, but this is more like Shadekist. What kind of kiss does the sun give anyway? A sloppy kiss from the sun sounds kind of painful.

Fun to know: Sunkist is a citrus drink owned by Dr Pepper. Dr Pepper is now owned by the Keurig company, as well as is Snapple. Drink companies are so confusing with their mega-conglomerates.

I wish I knew how to dance. I wonder what it’s like to dance naked. Idunno, but it sounds fun. I wanna experiment with someone someday.

Ugh. That burger is hitting me now. I really gotta watch what I eat.

I kind of miss Roisin. I wonder why her name always comes up when I try to think of Cayenne. I miss Cayenne. We could have done something together... I was just too tied up in my own singular lonely struggle I guess to feel that way about her.

I will say, she had some sweet tits. Which is weird because she did that big project on why milk was so bad for humans and basically pus. We went to her apartment once but it was just weird because she showed me a strange video about a woman getting proposed to with a ringpop, and there wasn’t that much time for us to be together before her mother came home.

I guess space was the problem, we didn’t really have a space for us to be together. My apartment right now probably wouldn’t be the best, but I could brave the consequences for the payoff.

I just wanna cuddle. Snuggle. Hug ‘n spoon.

Well, that’s Day 3 done. Signing off.

[peonybane]

Agape and Pragma: 100 Followers Drabble (The Cerberus Conundrum)

Pairings: OT7 (BTS) x Reader

Word Count: 1.2 k

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Angst, Sci-Fi, Crack (?), Smut (eventually)

Chapter Specific Notes: Fluff, Crack

Summary: Your entire world had be torn asunder by just one lab test. Time heals all wounds, but does it really? What will it take to feel whole again?

Hybrid Types: Peacock Jin, Serval Yoongi, Golden Retriever Hoseok, Gray Wolf Namjoon, Great Dane Taehyung, and French Lop Eared Rabbit Jungkook… with one more to come.

a/n: Thank you so much everyone for the 100 followers! I didn’t think I’d get to this point so quickly! ^.^ This takes place after Namjoon moves in, so between Chapters 3 and 4.

<— Previous (Chapter 3)

“What is this?”

You looked over your shoulder at your relatively new roommate. Namjoon had technically moved in a month ago. But about a week in he had to go on a research trip to the wilderness of Japan for his next book (he had briefly mentioned that he wanted to incorporate actual places from all over the world, starting with Japan). You were pretty sure it was to write off onsen hopping on his taxes.

But back to the task at hand.

Namjoon had just arrived home. He told you all he was going to be arriving home the day after tomorrow. Seems like he had gotten a flight home early. “Oh. You’re home early, Namjoon.”

His ears were at attention as he crossed his arms. He was clearly exhausted, but he had enough interest to figure out what was going on. “Don’t try that on me. What is this?”

You couldn’t help but blush, looking at Namjoon sheepishly. As you opened your mouth to reply, Taehyung grumbled angrily, half awake. You looked down and realized the source of the problem. Sitting on the ground, with blankets and pillows surrounding you, Taehyung had his head in your lap and his arms wrapped around your waist as he laid on his side. Before Namjoon had arrived home, you were rubbing his belly. But you had stopped, causing great unhappiness in Taehyung.

You giggled as you resumed rubbing his belly, to which he gave a very satisfied grumble. Looking back at Namjoon, he still looked at you both weirdly. You rolled your eyes. “Oh fuck off. He’s the most in tuned with his inner dog. Don’t judge. I bet you’re actually jealous.”

Which was true. When you first met Taehyung, you had been very conscious about how you treated him and Hoseok. Dog Hybrids were the most likely to be treated more like actual pets rather than people. And you wanted to give them the respect that they deserved, so you were unfortunately hyperaware of how you interacted with them.

Within a week of knowing Liam’s Hybrid friends, you realized that, with them at least, they didn’t mind being occasionally treated like their fuzzy counterparts… especially Taehyung. In fact Taehyung, if not insisted on it at times.

Jungkook was the least like a rabbit out of the three of them, always asserting his dominance. But he still needed companionship and quiet time like a rabbit did. Hoseok was very much a dog in that he loved playing outside, was protective, and he expressed himself through body language, his whole body wiggling when he was happy, driven by his fluffy, golden tail. Taehyung was even more dog like than Hoseok, having more prominent personality traits. He leaned heavily against you often like a Great Dane (sometimes taking you to the ground because of it), he was an utter goof like one, too. He loved his ears rubbed, was unaware of the deadliness of his whip-like tail, and would make weird sounds in his sleep. He was the one that started the windows down in a car rides, his nose being the most sensitive out the three (he at least didn’t stick head out like a dog). The first time you had met Taehyung’s adoptive mother, she had shown you a picture of him, at about the age of five, chasing his own tail. Thankful, (at least, you hoped) he had grown out of it.

So there you were, sitting on the ground, indulging Taehyung in one of his most favorite things in the world: getting wine drunk (ok, you getting wine drunk, Taehyung and Hoseok had wine sensitivity— they could drink it, their stomachs just weren’t exactly happy about it), watching some old cartoons, and belly rubs.

Namjoon just shook his head and sighed. You continued to smile at him. “You wanna join us?”

He eyed the television as it played Loony Toons quietly. “Let me shower first, then I’ll join you guys. But I’ll be sitting on the couch.”

With that, he walked off, dragging his suit case behind him. You rolled your eyes. He says that now, but you knew he’d be joining you two on the ground eventually. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday.

^~^~^~^~^ 

It was nearly midnight when you heard the front door opening. Shitshitshitshitshitshit—

“Oh. My. God.”

You looked behind you to see Jin, Hoseok, and Jungkook at the entry way leading the living room. Yoongi must be still at his studio— that night cat. Jungkook was the one who had spoken. He stood there with his jaw on the ground, looking utterly shook. Jin on the other hand was doing his absolute best not to giggle. Hoseok was unusually unreadable. Was he upset? Did he find it funny? Was he jealous?

Currently, Taehyung was still wrapped around your waist, being very cuddly… and a little too personal. At the moment, he had buried his face in the crook of your hip… sometimes you had to push his head away because he was wandering somewhere he shouldn’t be. Namjoon on the other hand was NOT on the couch like he said he would. 

Oh, no. Namjoon had plopped himself beside you on the floor on the opposite side of Taehyung. At first, he started a good distance away. But slowly he migrated closer until he sleepily laid his still damp head on your shoulder. His ears were right there. How could you not rub them?

So here you were, Taehyung wrapped around your waist as you rubbed his belly and Namjoon leaning heavily against you making a noise that was like the canine version of a purr as you rub his ears, your wine glass sitting in your lap. You didn’t move. How could you? You felt like you had been caught doing something rather naughty by your husband or something. 

You continued to stare at Jungkook, Jin, and Hoseok, swallowing. Both Taehyung and Namjoon started to grumble unhappily in their sleep now that you had stopped petting. You looked back at the men attached to you like octopuses. Hoseok whimpered like a kicked puppy, breaking your heart a little. Looking back at him, you pleaded, “I’m sorry, Hobi. But… I only have two hands. I promise I’ll cuddle with you tomorrow. Ok?”

Hoseok remained silent. He walked over to you as he slipped off his jacket. He stooped down and picked up your wine glass, placing it on the side table. You looked at him curiously and he gently detached Taehyung from your waist. When Taehyung made a sound of protest, Hoseok rubbed his big floppy ear and Taehyung settled right back down. 

Once Taehyung had been silenced, Hoseok sat down behind you, his legs framing yours as he pushes his way between Taehyung and Namjoon. He repositioned Taehyung quickly, knowing that if he didn’t Taehyung would wake up soon, very unhappy that his arms weren’t wrapped around something. Hoseok hooked one of Taehyung’s arms around your waist and made sure that his head was resting mostly now on his own, but still slightly propped up on yours. 

Hoseok wrapped his own arms around your waist, squeezing you lovingly as he nuzzled your hair, scenting you. Slowly, you relaxed against him. As you leaned more weight back against him, his tail started going thumpthumpthumpthump.

You found yourself petting the other two canine Hybrids, closing your eyes. Wrapped up in their warmth, you fell asleep as well. Little did you know, Jungkook got out his expensive camera and snapped a photo. It became his favorite photo, calling it, ‘Persephone and Cerberus.’

As always, reviews, comments, asks, and tags are always loved! ~Peony

Next (Chapter 4) —>

Agape and Pragma Masterlist

Masterlist

All rights reserved. © Copyrighted 2019.

[originlist]

speaking of, jsyk: i will be posting drabbles for 5.5 as i go thru them. i am SO excited. fgo will be writing it as a fucked up nightmare fest that will hurt you. i will be rewriting it entirely to “limbo desperately trying to make it a fucked up nightmare fest that will hurt ritsu, and ritsu loony-toons-ing themselves into a very silly winter holiday in hell”. this is a threat and i have never been more excited for a fgo event.

[kikiwhataboutthatbrendon]

Duuuuuude I've gotten around to writing a Techno and Michael fic and babysitting three little girls ages two, three, and three makes it so much easier.

There's so much stuttering. The oldest (3) is constantly going zoom, understanding her is difficult, and the fact she sounds like the yellow bird from Loony Toons does not make it any better. I have to ask her to repeat herself a lot, but we can talk just fine. Again, a lot of stuttering, a lot of repeating, rarely gets off topic. When she's got a topic in mind she sticks to it.

Her little sister? Non verbal half the time. Shes 2. But when she talks she's intelligent and understandable, she talks a lot less than her older sister. Same thing with her older sister, when she has a topic in mind she sticks to it. Friendly reminder, she cant count that high. Two year olds cannot count very high. So if hide and seek is a thing? Most they'll probably go is eight. Her older sister can only go to twelve. And they hide horribly. A toddler cannot hide quietly. Have your charater play along and be dramatic.

Now, my last. Three years old. All of them play together. She's completley non verbal around me. It's not that shes uncomfortable, she just doesn't wanna talk. But, she plays and talks with the sisters. They all get along very well. You can communicate with a nonverbal toddler perfectly fine without words.

TODDLERS SCREAM LAUGH

THEY ARE VERY LOUD AND DO NOT REALIZE IT

Toddlers are dramatic.

If you can kiss it better there is nothing wrong. If you put a bandaid over it and they're all happy? You did a good job. You fixed it. Nothing may have seemed injured/wrong on the outside, but you fixed it for them.

It is very difficult to lose a toddler.

I say this as a babysitter of three.

It is very fucking difficult to lose them.

They are whirlwinds of giggles and fun and booming steps. I have never lost my three.

They are big sushi rolls. They are made of love, joy, and chub. They're heavy. Very huggable. Made of heat. Cuddling can get very warm very quickly.

The sisters have attachment issues. Their mom is no longer with us. If you're writing Michael? The abandoned Michael who was brought into a new family with new parents? He probably has attachment issues. My girls remember their mom. Michael probably remembers whatever parents he had. Michael will probably attempt to ask when his parents are coming back. I cannot tell you how many times I've watched the eldest of the sisters ask her dad where her mom is when he comes home. She has asked when mom is coming home. She's cried while asking. It is just as heartbreaking of a picture as you think it is. If you want accuracy? Paint that picture in your head.

The sisters are very cuddly. The oldest sister will constantly ask about me when I'm not at her house. She'll ask her dad when I'm coming over again. When I'm with her I dont leave her side. She gets very upset when I do that. How I figured out to solve that problem? I give her my phone and start a stopwatch. She gets to count how long I'm gone for. I do that if I have go to the bathroom, see a neighbor next door (that's happened twice), if I even have to go upstairs to get something for any of the girls. The youngest sister needs a lot of hugs. Drawing makes her feel better. Being rolled into a burrito makes her happy.

They sometimes cry for 'no reason.' They get overwhelmed. They get depressed. Just cause they're small does not mean they feel less.

Watch your fucking mouth around them. If you have a charater yell at or around a toddler charater? They will cry. Kisses and cuddles may not fix it. They'll be weary around you. They will not trust you. They'll be spooked if it's an accident. Always make your charater apologize, if that fits their character.

Those little kid tables? The ones that have tiny chairs? You can sit in them. Your weight wont break them. You will look ginormous sitting in that little kid chair and so will your charater. It will make your toddler charater ecstatic. Trust me. It will also make your adult characters knees hurt so much, they'll sound like rice crispys when they stand, but it's fine.

They fake sleepiness. They're little misgevoious bastards. Tickles will tire them out quickly, but warm baths are easier.

I'm their big sister to them. Techno might be considered an older brother or uncle to Michael. He also might just be a great friend. Not every babysitter is considered family.

its cute when people make it so techno and michael can communicate in piglin, but people have michael speaking in like full sentences in piglin yall know he's still like a toddler right. maybe piglins r different but typically 3 year olds cant do fully comprehendable sentences

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x04 watching notes

TBH that is my exact strategy when I am tired and want to go home.

-

it's 2am and I just woke up after a lengthy power nap/full REM cycle because going to bed at 9 is for cool kids so uh I'm watching the episode but also it's 2am. I didn't do it deliberately but here I aaaam.

-

Getting right in there with Dean telling the the truth in the recap - is he really gonna spill it all to a therapist? experts have been awaiting it ever since 1x10 so

-

"experts" being me, I am an independent judiciary body

-

*grief grief grief* *Jack angst*

Oh yeah Cas recap because Cas is back

Should I even write expectations for this episode? I'm a bit late since I already started watching :P Blah blah Glynn blah blah probably going to be fine, blah blah swear I saw someone say she's "never written Cas before" but uh we just had recaps from 12x19 so I mean who wrote that?

-

this guy has a weird reaction to the dead wife coming back

like, oh, okay, that happened. guess we say hello

-

Is this the "understated" reaction when Cas comes back

-

Oh we're doing regular old stabbing? Is this a shapeshifter thing or a revenge curse thing? Is it all going to be romantic couples? because lol pls don't

Also the recap did expressly list off 2 dead moms and a dead crowley along with a dead Cas who is also a brother and father to active main characters

-

Sam like "hey"

Dean like >.> Are you trying to be friends after I yelled at you?

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Sam being remarkably cool about Dean's netflix and holy oil suggestion

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Dean being extremely less cool about Sam's suggestion

-

They're sort of recapping the argument from the end of last episode for us, which is good because it wasn't in the recap unless it was but it's 2am and my brain randomly discarded that

-

oh my god it was

okay these are not meta notes

-

Sam's trying to play at grief counsellor and it's super not working because he's using it as their fight. You don't get in a snappy comeback about "oh so you want to move on"

Dean looks extremely murderously done with all this because How Dare etc

-

"For me"

God damn puppy dog eyes.

-

awww Jack's watching The Clone Wars. Because he is a wee new baby and this is his star wars generation I guess.

mittensmorgul pffft. (I have never seen Clone Wars so I have no idea what that even means)

elizabethrobertajones It's the adventures *drum roll* of Darth Vader when he was still Anakin, before he went evil Ashoka or however you spell it is his Padawan

mittensmorgul aahhh

elizabethrobertajones Jack's identifying with her and not with the pre-evil but still getting the Imperial March music layered over his bad decisions Anakin the entire show is 10000 episodes just an endless "we can't make him go evil because that happens in the movie but we can tease basically everything up to that" stuff

mittensmorgul At least he's iffy about Anakin...

elizabethrobertajones yeah good choice, basically it's also brand new he found the non-dinosaur version of Star Wars of the previous generation :P and it's less political than the prequels I think The Clone Wars is generally well-liked whereas nerd rage dictates the Prequels are the Worst and I guess it's Too Soon to get into the newer Star Wars films since we don't know how the arcs of the new kids pay off

[side note: I haven't watched it per se because there's tons of it but I've been in the same room as my brother watching it, and seen a lot of pop culture general knowledge that I've sponged up so I could be wrong about some little details as I mostly know how it's been described to me]

-

Also Jack's identifying with the female character, because fuck off toxic masculinity, she seems awesome and he has no idea he isn't “”supposed”” to. She also is one of the aliens with the huge tentacle things on her head so idk if it's a good idea for him to get too into this without  meeting more of the general population - Sam's probably right

-

Uhoh, Jack kinda does a snarky eyebrow about "you're the good guys" - Did Sam fail to sell it or is Jack really just starting to have trust issues now he's watching TV with black or white morality (literally a dark side and a light side - hrm.) and given his experience of the Winchesters yelling their very shades of grey takes on him at each other

-

Well he hasn't learned to be cagey about overhearing that

-

*blink blink blink* *sigh*

-

"You're *using* me"

Oh no, poor Jack :(

-

He also implicitly trusts Dean's judgement more than Sam's bonding, despite how Sam has made all the movements towards him. As people have been meta'ing, Dean's being extremely honest and Jack's setting his markers by that, even if it's horrific to the point of deciding he has to be evil because Dean thinks so.

-

Sam says he, Dean and CAS closed the rift - hey, Cas got knocked out by Lucifer in round 1 of that as a distraction and Crowley helped you close it.

They probably have not explained Crowley to him at all.

-

At least Sam is being honest now about what happened with the rift, and that it's their mom

and Jack speaks the language of lost moms. Now HE looks at SAM with sympathy.

Probably also explains Dean...

I think Jack is defaulting back to thinking about Dean way more than Sam's opinion of him, although perhaps he may like Sam more now he was upfront and some of why "so uh yeah I was KINDA using you" is on the table

-

Jack was wearing a darker henley, which tbh with Dean wearing them again all of a sudden makes it blurry to me if this is not about his Dean-alignment more than colour coding his feelings on being evil (like how Amara's nail polish started off black and got right down to light grey by the end of the season). Now he's swapped to being the Cas Intern.

Ow.

-

and aww all the fake IDs. There's a lot to take in about these guys :P

-

Oh no Dean said "loony toons" on the episode which may or may not be an exact use of 8x08 for Cas, for Jack. Jack's a bit more of a trial run about wanting to BE a hunter since he is mostly just curious. Also amused Dean has to rephrase for Jack because he actually knows he's a week old or so, and he's not going to enjoy repeating himself or explaining, while he always found it kind of funny to just say a whole string of incomprehensible pop culture at Cas without slowing for a breath.

Not funny now, is it Dean?

-

Wait have they never actually fought a revenant aka, idk, it sounds like a naturally occurring zombie? They mention it from time to time but as far as I remember they've never actually called zombies revenants because they're one of the shows where they just embrace the horror movie tradition about zombies completely, so it always seemed like revenants were something slightly different, at least, in the sense that they get named like a different category. And they just lumped them in with ghosts here, as restless spirits but i guess this time *with* the body?

-

Dean tells Jack to sit, like he was a dog being kept in the car.

-

Unlike dogs he knows how to work the door handle.

-

Jack no don't touch the blood

oh good Dean stopped him

-

Aw no he's still wearing the dark henley under the tan jacket. That's awful :D

-

Pfft Dean's like immediately "it's a revenant" because they know what those are really well after a billion years hunting and we've never watched them ever name anything on screen a revenant before with that vocab, and they're really sticking with not crossing them over with zombies exactly...

I mean Dean said he wasn't a revenant after he got back from hell and I think they've chattered about them before

if I check this on superwiki it's way too early for there to be a spoilery "so it's not a revenant" line from later in this episode highlighted when I hit the search :P

Oh good, I'm glad I'm right.

A revenant is a visible ghost or animated corpse that returns to terrorize the living, usually people it knew in life. Unlike the zombie, a revenant is not under another person's control, and has returned from the grave on its own for a specific and often personal purpose. In 4.01 Lazarus Rising, Bobby accuses Dean of being a shapeshifter or a revenant. Dean proves he's neither by cutting himself with a silver knife. In 8.06 Southern Comfort Garth takes a call from a hunter asking how to deal with a revenant. Garth tells him to get a casket and some silver spikes, then nail it in and bury it. He also warns that getting bit will hurt like hell, but will not turn you into one.

-

I wonder if those were revenants in 4x07 and I only ask because it was like almost exactly an anniversary to it in OUR time :P It's still May or maybe June for them in-show

-

Okay Dean left Jack to dig but Sam chased after Dean rather than it being a synchronised Winchester ditching of Jack :P

-

Little on the nose about "You're starting to sound like dad!" :P

"Is that a bad thing" Oh Dean, no.

Fortunately the theme of this season is fathers so I suspect you're gonna have to deal with this at some point or another

-

Sam like "the drill sergent thing won't work on Jack" to the sound of Jack merrily digging in the background because Dean told him to

-

I really hope that wasn't an on-set hazing that they actually left him to dig :P

-

I love my smol gravedigger son

-

I love how Jack did all the digging anyway because Sam's still not actually dirty and Jack's still standing in the hole

-

Lol not a revenant, well there's a surprise. I'm glad I double-checked the lore anyway because I have the time to so I'm not going to spend the rest of the episode like "wait what IS the difference between them and zombies anyway and why have we never seen one?"

-

I mean it's not gonna be a ghost either, we're 9 minutes in and they're salting and burning because it makes more sense to Dean to do that than not to - I guess a precaution for accidentally angering her spirit for digging her up...?? :P I mean no he still thinks she's a ghost but I mean maybe it's not a total waste of salt.

-

OH NO Jack don't ask about if Kelly is a ghost, that's very painful.

-

OH NO I thought he was going to ask about Cas but instead Dean said "what gets burned, stays dead" and that hurts a lot

-

FORTUNATELY for me the viewer as opposed to Dean the grieving ball of angst over there, I can go check up on Cas immediately.

-

He doesn't seem to be doing too good but more in an existential way since he's at least up and walking about.

I like how Jack woke him up but it's probably got to be like a baby bird has to hatch itself.

-

He's using up all his "hellos" on the void. Save one for Dean.

-

You know if the MotW is imitating dead loved ones I have to say I am not exactly looking forward to this :P I didn't say earlier but the cold open gave me 11x13 vibes and honestly I don't want a repeat of the stress of waiting for Cas to show up for Dean but it not happening... Okay, belatedly 10 minutes in, there's a baseline expectation for the episode that that doesn’t happen. Then again I forgot to check the names at the bottom of the screen except for being happy to see Misha's there so they could spring anyone on us

-

Throw a real curveball in just like bring some random dead loved one from the first 3 seasons back :P

-

Or waste Jim Beaver's season 13 appearance on it and he's never even in the AU with Mary :P

-

Anyway Jack is waiting patiently in the car.

(or, well, not so patiently.. He's starting to get an idea of how the job works, and that Dean is usually repeatedly wrong about everything as he throws spaghetti at the wall about the case...)

-

Anyway, dead son, dead wife, so that's quite a neutral combination.

-

Asking what they had in common probably means the grief counsellor, but Dean says that and then we go back to Cas right when I've been musing on the loved ones coming back for them thing and honestly it's like Dean's words are just summoning Cas right now.

....... 8x08 used flashbacks to summon Amelia for Sam, just saying

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I hope Cas finds Billie and hopefully a bar immediately and they can become drinking buddies.

I don't even think she's in this one?

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I like those assertive footsteps though. "I have no clue where I am, I am just going to walk in this direction like I mean it"

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Lol they're in Madison i was KIDDING about bringing back a dead loved one from like season 2 or something. Oh well, if it's her, it's her. I'm still bitter about Sarah because I only just re-watched it with my mum the other day.

I should probably stop bringing up Sam's dead or lost girlfriends because it's just bumming me out on his behalf.

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Teehee "he's not our intern"

well

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"I asked you to keep an eye on him" "I can see him"

It's amazing Dean didn't volunteer just to get away from Jack

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Sort of weird existing in a post That Declaration world where I can just canonically know Dean staring at Jack is making him think sad things about Cas without any fear whatsoever

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Oh boy killer grief counsellor probably. "Mia is promising to provide the catharsis I've been craving for so long" and then she gets ripped to shreds by her son.

I feel a little bad reading this woman's diary, but the first line is about not "getting over" it and learning to live with it. Blah blah heal and rebuild yourself, blah blah whole again but never the same

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"Shrinks... Snake oil for the mind." "Or how healthy people deal" Pfft

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Jack being baffled by the issues of customer vs hot dog guy without understanding it's an ancient war fought across the world

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Dean equates "catharsis" to "happy ending" - I can't tell if he's innuendo-ing or accidentally revealing too much and being mournful about it.

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The house has a great fence - its parts are all misaligned. Very visually uncomfortable :D

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Awww someone said "hello" to Jack and Jack was like !!!!! another person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO! :D :D :D

how can you possibly think he's bad

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Anyway I was about to type that Dean hates it because of course he feels the most vulnerable talking about his feelings all the time, either for performing Dean reasons about needing to keep up a facade of strength (LET YOURSELF CRY, MAN) or because feelings for Cas being inconvenient to him

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UHoh Dean grabbed Jack's shoulder - he did it to Mick to be threatening last year in a Glynn episode, while Mick was wearing a long tan coat. And called Jack "Spock" which is not really accurate characterisation at all. Jack's pretty much nothing but a bundle of emotions, he's just not used to using them around other people. Now CAS on the other hand.....

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I do like that Mia decided to see them because Jack is sweet and was upfront about losing his mother and he's just adorable.

They bluff their way in by losing a collective mother, Sam once again lining them up as family and siblings.

Play it cool, man. You’ll scare Jack off.

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I'm starting to think we haven't seen Cas between scenes for a while because Dean hasn't said anything angsty enough

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But idk if we trust her or not. She has a lot of alcohol stashed on that shelf.

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Jack wisely doesn't sit on the sofa with them all.

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"Oh well Mom was great and now she's dead so what's the deal with catharsis" Dean, no.

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Sam continues with what should be the pre-arranged plan of spill closed truths like well we don't journal but our dad did

also I am so annoyed that confirms they don't keep hunter journals??? grarghgh

Google has ruined this generation

And Dean makes fun of journaling as being for little girls, even though Sam literally just said that about John. Last year in 12x04 he said he was a 13 year old girl when trying to text Mary so he's actually regressed even further backwards at losing her again >.>

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"I'm good with death, closure, the whole friggin bottle of Jack"

it's a shame he would never put a bumper sticker on Baby, because that...

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Oh boy we're still having this fight. "My brother's delusional..." yeah oh dear.

Is this going to be one of those things where I basically just want to transcribe the whole thing?

Dean calls out Sam for not being able to even admit that Mary's gone so he hasn't even moved past denial - which to be fair, Sam IS right she's not dead and that they DO have a means of getting her back and everything... Was thinking about how last season was a "Dean is right about everything" season and this time is clearly a Sam is right about everything one... but of course both only to a certain degree, and in this case it's much blurrier about approach and how these fights are going because of course Sam's not being a perfect Saint Sammy that Dean is being unfairly awful to in the entirety of what's going on here. Sam IS struggling and resisting confronting things in his own way and adopting Jack as a pet project is definitely a form of avoidance or at least wanting to get concrete closure on Mary's death before he will fully mourn. Which makes Sam and Dean existing in the same place terrible because they're only in the same physical location

anyway Dean's about to yell  about how hard this all is for him too so I better unpause once I'm holding a stuffed toy again

"At least you had a relationship with mom" WAHEY

I mean that was awful but I'm delighted Sam yelled that because there's ALWAYS something else going on underneath Sam, and I've been waiting for more Sam and Mary angst, since I spent so much time on them last season and at least obliquely referred to this... Talked a lot about how hard Sam had it to reconnect with Mary... That Words with Friends scene from 12x07 was basically floating along waiting to come back up at some point or another, but it took Sam a long time to reach out to Mary personally, and really only in 12x14 (hi Berens, I just accept you and Glynn are brain twins these days) did he pick a side in THAT fight and picked Mary. And we said it was to get closer to Mary but he made it all about the BMoL instead of just confronting that he wanted a relationship with her, and the BMoL ended up just keeping them apart ANYWAY and tl;dr am I going to have to write the reverse version of A World Without Monsters from Sam's POV or can we just agree that my subtext in that fic was exactly what just bubbled up here? :P

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I just spent the entire length of that paragraph trying to work out when I wrote the meta about how Sam felt about Mary and it took me until that last point to realise it was not a meta, it was a fic where I roundly abused poor Sam for the sake of making that point.

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Dean's like hey therapy is great! *eyebrows at Jack* *snarky smile at the doc*

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Sam is like *anger-drinks water*

*refuses to cry as well*

BLOOD

(CRY, DAMMIT, SAM.)

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That sign was down earlier

is this the poor receptionist?

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Or... ew, shifter gunk?

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LOL Dean just takes a flask out of his pocket in the middle of their appointment

Mia asks him to look at Jack, which is the last thing he wants to do, but blah blah meta about 12x22 and how he needs to "see" Jack, and she's pointing out that Jack is terrified which is exactly what Dean needs to see about him

subtle

She actually points out his anger issues as well so I think Dean's getting homework whether he has to write it in a journal or not :P

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*suddenly everyone is pointing guns*

Hey if she's a a shapeshifter why does she live in an all-white house when shifting makes bloody goo stains everywhere?

Or her assistant, I guess. They haven't had eyes on him :P

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Ooh that explains why the guy was not surprised to see his wife. Well, kind of surprised, but not nearly horrified enough.

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Sadly if she is telling the truth that means someone else is using her method to get their guard down to kill them for kicks...

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Also shades of 9x13 because they had that spa where the monster would use their unique skills to help, but then of course another of their kind - a sibling - had to go and ruin it...

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Oh hey, it's Cas! I guess the time ran out on a good transition from Dean, so we go over here on "I'm telling you the truth"

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Lol it's another Cas... Who ever would have expected it. /Misha being the worst at spoilers

Or something with a very silly voice. "Friendly neighbourhood cosmic entity" that sounds like that and won't show its face is either someone pranking Cas or about to go very bad.

Cas is like "do I look like that" "I'm getting a new coat as soon as I'm alive again"

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if this thing is The Empty itself it's probably kinda crazy after eons being nothing

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Oh NO Cas's face when he says "every angel that ever died is here?" because oh boy did you put like 90% of them in here yourself. There's about 3 faces you'd be happy to see again of the entire lot. Hey, it's never too late to give Cas that guilt all over again that made him stay in Purgatory out of penance.

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I mean among other things but it's probably worth mentioning there are a whole bunch of lil purgatory parallels here in the loosest sense of it being a hostile other realm, and the way Cas is basically Dean in Purgatory in here.

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Cas has been back for like 5 minutes of screen time and I want to protect him and wrap him in blankets

there's no need to be mean, The Empty, just because you got woken up... I say... at nearly 4am... because I woke up when I didn't want to...

you know what, The Empty's being mean to Cas probably kind of justifiably, even if it's a dick.

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pretty clever to use a shifter as the motw in this episode too

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oh, poor Cas is horrified to think Sam and Dean made some sort of deal for him

he says "I don't know" which is ironically what Jack's saying all the time

like father like son

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LEAVE HIM ALONE

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last episode we had James keeping memories of Missouri, who he had cut out of his life, in a box. Now Mia has a box still dedicated to "Buddy" her asshole ex who hurt her, and good on her for leaving him. He's another shifter, we're halfway through the episode, so we probably need to find him now, and also have a good 10 minutes more of whatever's going on with Cas. :P

She also owns up to have done much worse things in her past with Buddy, although presumably not killing people, and probably because they were super toxic together, and she had the sense to get out and try and help people now.

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Jack said "I'll come with" which is adorable. He's learning to be like them :D

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Wheeeee he's riding shotgun! Guess Dean couldn't make him stay in the back without Sam around.

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Sam's plan's don't always work out :< Oh no, Dean, you still don't have much faith in Sam's ability to handle himself.

Fortunately this does seem to be a mostly Sam is right season, and I think of all the overwhelming reasons why you don't trust Jack, not trusting Sam to trust Jack is probably relatively low on the list underneath the Cas stuff or you'd have just yelled that at Sam the other day instead.

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Uh, why do I feel like the shifter just phoned Sam and somewhere between here and there something went really wrong?

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Oh god I'm going to have to watch the face peeling scene with my own two eyes at 4 in the morning, aren't I?

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Meanwhile Mia explains why her catharsis works to Sam - I hope he doesn't sneak back at the end of the episode for a chat with "Mary" because that would be AWFUL.

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Oh it was that other guy - wait, also, Sam was already doing this before Dean phoned? Seems like he doesn't trust Dean's methods either :P

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CAAAAAAAAAS

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I love how Cas is so practical like, "will you pay me $200 to stop annoying you and go away?"

UHOH guess we're getting right into it. "You don't want to go back" "Sam and Dean need me" You don't want to be needed, you want to be wanted!

Wheeee text on that and also wheee over on the other side of the story last week Dean finally made the i/we distinction about Cas. Now we just need to get them alive and well and actually dealing with crap

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oh boy I shouldn't have paused there except that i suppose for the sake of meta-ing remotely clearly it was probably a good idea not to watch straight through from that into the empty accusing Cas of having feeeeelings and "I know *what* you hate, I know *who* you love, what you fear." especially since Cas hates being needed but not wanted and uh Dean made the i/we distinction at long last over on the other side of the story so um does Cas fear something related to all that?

I mean to be fair Cas has been through this exact thing before with "he's in love... with humanity" / "all of it for one man" which was an "i/we" distinction of planetary proportions :P Of course he just mutely responded to it there because he was sad Dean was dead, and had no idea Metatron had accused him of being in love in any form, so that was Metatron's private joke to himself.

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The Empty telling Cas there's "nothing for him back there" also makes like next to no sense if you take season 12's family read at surface value and has the bonus of being, I'm pretty sure, a line Elrond tells Arwen in the movie when he's trying to make her leave Aragorn and go across the waters to the undying lands.

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I know they're just starting with it in a long selection of terrible things that happened to Cas but starting with his grace being stolen really sucks :P

Especially when I am still daily haunted by his season 9 arc.

See above: Metatron and "in love with humanity"

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More miscommunication of the "didn't bother to call you" variety (I hope this doesn't blow up in Sam's face, although of course trying to nurture Jack is slow mo doing that, especially if he and Dean are meant to swap stances on the kid >.>)

The intern pulls Mia aside for a chat.

OH NO Jack wants to see his mom. OH NO OH NO

I will be so upset if that happens...

Oh nooooooo

he's crying.

Who can say no?

This is extremely awful.

I guess Glynn didn't want to let Kelly go like that. I'm glad if Mia was going to do this for anyone it would be for Jack and not Sam and Dean's cycles of nonsense.

I REALLY hope the bad shifter doesn't burst in here and try to/actually kill Mia right now. Jack doesn't need that in his life.

In the mean time, Mia better friggin HUG Jack even if it's technically hollow and he would know it.

Also did she do the whole disgusting skin thing or can she transform on the spot?

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HUGS FOR THE NOUGAT BOY

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They look so much alike :')

Oh no Jack you probably don't feel anything because they made you horribly depressed within 2 days. Also you have angel grace. Historically not good for helping you feel things. You're sweet and cry about your mom and feel bad about stuff in other ways so I think you have a heart no matter what, like Cas does.

Mia gets some catharsis from getting to hug Jack and reassure him that even if he's a monster and what makes him in-human isn't letting him emote how he's supposed to, he can still be good. She's got a monster soul, after all. There's a lot of good monsters out there.

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I was about to say lol is this now Sam not on the phone because he actually is a shifter now mostly to tease past!Me but then they panned down and Dean's unconscious, which makes sense because they probably still want to show us Dean tearing his own face off at some point and honestly I'd rather just get it over and done with because if it's still to come after this D:

"that was too friggin easy" though - Dean getting overwhelmed in another fight. He's really not had a great rate of success... He only beat the wraith last episode with Patience's warnings, and other than that it's been a terrible track record even if he fights back as hard as he can when he gets jumped

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shifter!Dean2 better not go in and try and kill Jack

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Not gonna have much luck, I just don't want to watch it :P

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MORE HUGS FOR JACK

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WAIT NO YOU CAN'T HUG HIM AND THEN HAVE HIM KNOCKED OUT IN THE SAME SCENE

I TYPE NOT LOOKING AT THE SCREEN BECAUSE DEAN'S RIPPING HIS FACE OFF

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Shifters are gross

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Oh no don't call Cas a disappointment, The Empty, we're so proud of him!

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He just told him to "save yourself" which is probably going to have the direct opposite result to what he wants while I'd hope Cas goes and does exactly that

"I'm already saved" blah blah Cas insults The Empty and I love him, "because somehow I'm awake, and I'll stay awake" - exactly how many times can I use "i love him" as punctuation in one sentence?

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Where is that gif of the woman banging the pots and pans about not getting any sleep so they're not getting any sleep

that's something I ought to have saved :P

Someone almost certainly has made a post already.

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Cas is the literal embodiment of "fight me"

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This Buddy guy is a total douche. He says in this world everyone uses everyone. Which is a theme of the season I guess - Cas feeling used, Jack feeling used... He's the villain with the most negative version of the theme in his mouth right now

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Dean's got to pep talk Jack if he wants to save the day or Jack goes and saves the daaay - I'd prefer Jack does it

Look, Mia's getting hurt and she was kind to you and in the most literal use of character mirroring in 1000 miles is an actual stand in for your mom!

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Ooh is Jack gonna save Sam instead? Dean just pep-talked him specifically about how Sam believed in him which was having to start to admit that Sam, well, believes in Jack. Which Dean couldn't even accept last episode when he was saying that he was just using Jack

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Yay thanks Jack, kinda figured Sam wouldn't get shot :P Jack's powers are fascinating - he's definitely bending time... from Sam and Dean's perspectives last time they were caught in it they were at least sort of aware of things, but Jack pretty much works in bullet time.

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I also like how he kind of had a ridiculous "NooooO" because he's been watching Star Wars. I don't know if there's a "Nooooo" in the Clone Wars but I mean have you met a Star Wars

-

Anyway good riddance douchey ex with extra douchey powers.

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I love the shot of them all standing together and Jack has that benign :3 face on again. He's really insufferably cute.

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Ewww the Bunker sink is gross. I assume that's from decades of lying in disrepair and that those are stains Dean could not get out.

-

I guess Jack's getting a glass of water and Dean's midnight snacking. I have no other explanation for this encounter despite the fact it could theoretically happen at literally any point of the clock :P

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Oh gosh, is he going to give Jack a beer

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Yay, actions helped

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Aw, the other beer is for Sam. Guess this doesn't have to be midnight after all. I thought he might have a longer chat with Jack

-

oops is this the beginning of the slide in the other direction? Sam's been undermined and even though he was proven right to Dean's eyes and Dean's had to grudgingly hand Jack the win in the case and admit it to Sam, Sam's like, "I guess"

And they don't know what Jack asked for from Mia because patient confidentiality! Argh!

Oh no Sam don't start wondering if Dean is right.

AAAH they're actually talking about things really well. Dean's like "don't say that" - even if he can't believe it he doesn't want to HURT Sam and rob him of his hope... Sometimes yelling about things does make them get better in the long run once you get it out there >.>

And Dean deputises to Sam for the feelings. And admits how HE has been feeling, because he believes in nothing, because all his faith has been taken away because there was only one thing he ever ended up believing in no i didn't see the next scene transition before i hit pause what are you talking about

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Again, though, if this is Cas back in the mortal plane after annoying his way back to life (worrisome, since he's 2 episodes out of reuniting with them and where's Billie? Oh gosh is Billie back for reals too if he IS back? Whaaaat.) then that's another awfully convenient moment to transition scenes from. Dean finally using "i" instead of "we" about Cas and making it abundantly clear that he and sam didn't feel the same about that, was, whether the direct reason or just narrative karma they chose to bestow on Dean, what made Jack reach out to Cas. Now he admits out loud that he doesn't believe in anything with the implication when you look at Dean vs belief that this is about Cas, and we go over to Cas definitely at least in an improved situation.

Goddammit that's the new coat which means he didn't come back naked but wait! Lizzy's hope wasn't the same as everyone else's at all! Although that was a shallow moment of defeat :P Mwa ha ha, I was hoping Cas would come back and be gifted a whole new Cas get up and lo and behold unless he chose to manifest these clothes onto himself and there's noooo ulterior motive at all going on here (uh... probably not going to get more than 1 per show and we used it up on Mary :P) but he's confused and waking up and the last time we saw him he was in the clothes he died in... So of course if he's being sent back to earth then someone else chose the battle armour he'd be returned in. One Cas, fit for purpose.

Also, realising once he sat up more it was the new coat makes me pretty sure he is back on Earth.

Also he looks happy to be here and I think he can tell :P

Same, Cas. Same.

[crimsondomingo]

Am I the only one wondering how Wellsobard didn't fuck up Barry? I mean this is me rambling so I'm imagining the accelerator going off when Barry is drawing? We know he's good at drawing and I saw a Charmed episode where this dude could make his drawings come to life so what if that was Barry's power? And coldflash because I'm trash.

Hahaha, omg I never thought about this.

I assumed Wellsobard was watching Barry like a hawk leading up to everything, maybe even made sure the right chemicals were on his shelves at the lab that night, subtly skewing things as necessary to be sure Barry was where he needed to be so he became The Flash.

But what if despite all his best efforts, at the last second, Barry changed his mind about staying late at work and was on the metro headed for STAR Labs that night instead of in his lab, doodling in his excitement in a notebook the STAR Labs building itself.

Of course just as the explosion happens, with Barry still on the train, late to the party as always, it causes him to mess up the drawing, totally ruining it with a scrawl of pencil marks - that coincidentally looks like the explosion of the building, so that when the shockwave hits him, he’s basically accidentally got a drawing of what happened.

And that triggers his meta powers to instead be having the ability to bring his drawings to life.

One other big difference here would be he wouldn’t go into a coma, because that was more a byproduct of the lightning. Since we want ColdFlash, let’s say Barry still plans to confess his feelings to Iris, but the aftermath of the explosion has him so busy at work, he still misses his chance, and Iris meets Eddie, totally deflating Barry.

Now, most of the metas took a while before their powers manifested, so it happens subtly. Barry doesn’t even realize when he accidentally doodles a cat this one time and then finds a stray outside of work that he adopts. He doesn’t make the connection until other metas show up over the months, and he can’t deny that he is one of them.

Wellsobard would be furious, beside himself, wondering what to do, if he should risk the ripple affect of going back in time to try again with Barry so he becomes The Flash - but then he meets him, discovers his abilities, and realizes he can still use Barry to get home. The problem, of course, is that Barry isn’t The Flash, but the crisis article shows The Flash (Wally now) and Barry as another hero, both still missing, so Wellsobard figures he’ll cut his losses and go with this new timeline as long as he still gets to one-up Barry as planned.

Barry ends up working with Caitlin and Cisco under different circumstances, but still works with them all, and we get a tweaked version of Season 1 where Barry is long over Iris since he’s had 9 months to watch her and Eddie fall in love and can’t bring himself to come between that.

The goal for Wells is to get Barry so good at controlling what he draws (and how it turns out, because sometimes his drawings don’t come to life the way he intends) and coerce Barry when the time is right to create him a portal home.

Cisco’s first name for Barry is definitely The Doodler, and Barry is like…no.

Hmmm…what could be Barry’s name in this AU? (damn I really like this idea)

Of course it would be hard to write, because it can’t just be ‘Barry Loony Toons a portal to where he needs to go’ every time, I’d want to be creative with how he uses what he draws to accomplish his goals.

So he knows he has to reach Len on the road that first heist, and he has mere seconds to get to him, and he doesn’t have super speed, he has a notebook and pencil. Well, lets assume he HAS super speed, but only when he draws. Super drawing! So he can get a drawing done in seconds.

Imagine it isn’t just that he can draw a cat and it comes to life, he can draw a situation and that’s how reality plays out. Both can work depending, but he’s still perfecting the nuances.

So he draws himself being an awesome motorcyclist, who trick shots his way past the baddies (just like he zipped past Len as The Flash in canon) and gets the loot from him, only to wheel around and see the guard in danger, and turns back (a little less expertly since he didn’t draw this part) to drive the guard to safety.

Since Barry literally came out of nowhere, Len is intrigued - the kid on the bike appeared from nothing, how did he do it?

And it’s not like, oh now Barry is an expert motorcyclist forever. He’d have to draw himself doing something awesome again for it to work.

Oh god, this idea has my head spinning, what a fun concept! And I haven’t even really gotten to the ColdFlash yet!