#looming writes stuff
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At first, Jon thought he could just… scare Erin and her brother-in-law away from the entrance into St. James’ Church underneath St. Paul’s. He was rather scary, after all. He found his way inside the church shortly before midnight (he was getting better at this breaking and entering thing), and waited for them near the spot where he thought he could sense the Dark, assuming that would be the entrance they would take. He hadn’t counted on Erin Gallagher-Nelson’s response to his voice saying “you should leave this place” being to brain him with her torch. “Erin, what the fuck! Did you just kill a guy?” (S5 Jon goes back in time to pre-canon 2014 and tries to help a statement giver... it doesn't go like he expected).
I posted this here back in 2020 with a vague idea of turning it into a series, but it never happened, so impulsively decided to clean it up and post it on AO3 as a non-canon compliant one shot. Hope someone enjoys it!
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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OOC:
#the caretaker peeks in (ooc)#(tbd)#(one nice thing about feeling slightly stressed/uptight is that it makes it easier to channel it into Scar)#(nothing bad happened; btw. It's relating to some irl stuff that's been looming over me for nearly a year)#(and people I've not spoken to in that length of time)#(let's just hope it doesn't tip the scales too far and leave me unable to write at all tonight xD)#(probably also doesn't help that today is traditionally a difficult day)
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Oh the urge to draw to be forced to a stop from the wrist of pain
#typing this even#i push through#and before i sense the looming ‘wrist stretches’ posts and all that coming my way—#—no it ain’t a stretching thing its just this thing in my wrist that pops up for a bit every now and then#its on its last days rn but still kinda there and ough—#if you’re wondering what the ‘’thing’’ is it’s called a ‘gangly’ or ‘ganglion cyst’ or something like that#some people have it forever but in my case it has like a longer framed period cycle lmao#anyways BIOLOGY#and now im curious if gangly’s are mutations in dna so imma search that up now so buh bye#and don’t judge me for writing in the tags even longer after i just said typing also causes it pain lol#have a good day#random stuff—
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PIED PIPER AU TIME AT LONG LAST
#feat. ciri and dara because i say so#wips#my fic#will i ever write a fairy tale au based on stuff that happens post season 1?#press X to doubt#too fond of ciri on the run and things being simpler (despite not being altogether simple)#just the terror-stricken need to be running from what you don't understand that persists in its chase and looms in its threat
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haaaahhhh i wanna write more yuri stuff but my brain has been low energy the past few months... but i think i at least know why now
combo of work hostility kinda wearing me down a bit and my family's (at least my parents') kinda sorta dislike for me working not full time, wanting me to just push into full time permanent work already. just drains my brain so im often left with little writing energy lol
#that and working on some stuff for friends/comms. but honestly ive felt this burn there too#cause i think about when i was writing sbs vs now and that atmosphere made a huuuuuge difference#now ive just got this constant looming 'oh boy im gonna get told i need to work full time again'#like... supply work is fine!!! im gonna do full time eventually!!! i get paid very well!!!! let a girl live...#i dont want to rush shit because ive NEVER been good at that!
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Sunday afternoons are so frustrating because I just wanna enjoy my last few hours of freedom but my brain is always like "you only have two and a half hours before you go to bed and once you go to bed it's over so you better do something fun so you aren't wasting your last few hours before work" and no matter what I do I can't enjoy it because the Sand Is Running Out Of The Hourglass.
#chit chat#work stuff#i spent an hour writing the next Galidraan chapter#i got three paragraphs out of it and they're not great and the entire time i felt like i wasn't writing fast enough#to make it worth using up the last of my precious hours#i fucking hate it here#i can't even have fun because work looms over everything
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idk if anyone cares but acar event is cancelled bc i am overwhelmed sorry friends
#it looms over me i cannot pls#maybe will still write some stuff from it but#not exclusively tying it to the event </3#push 2 talk
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Sanemi & Giyuu were about 16-17 when they both individually went on an undercover mission in the Kaze no Kuni capital city, they henged/disguised as fake personas Kazura (vaguely derived from kaze, wind) and Nakuu ('to lose')
Kazura is supposed to be darker skinned + two-toned eyes like that of Kazan no Kuni descendants & is sensible and confident but lazy, Nakuu has a hairstyle + facial shape from Mizu no Kuni & an outgoing enthusiastic and pretty sly personality
Giyuu put some particular effort into his disguise and really got into the character he was playing up, he also had fun with it where he could- and thats how he met Kazura. i dont have or really want specifics of why where how or such bc it ruins the imaginative bit of it ig? but while they were on the mission they were meeting up, they both knew the other was disguised but neither pried about it. they fell in love a bit, however it means, but as Nakuu's namesake they were never going to last. it was a mission and when it was done they would leave for home and never meet again.
but then they did :)
at 19 sanemi and giyuu had a political marriage arranged(forced) by Kyogo being a greedy fuck and wanting more trade from the Tomioka, in both the Happy & Broken marriage paths giyuu's the one who notices sanemi acting the same way as kazura in some ways and realizes the two are one in the same. In the Happy marriage its a thought that brings a smile to his face and a jest about how they fell in love twice, in the Broken marriage its only twice the heartbreak after the apathy sanemi regards him with and the loneliness that consumes him
#kny clan au#kny clan au: arranged sanegiyu(Fluff)#kny clan au: arranged sanegiyuu(Angst)#Kazura & Nakuu#i like hurting giyuu<3 but i also want to be nice & im indecisive so Multiverse type shit like this happens#im trying to proper Write out the story i have but my skill isnt up to par with my vision. i'll post it anyway when im done tho bc i want t#Share the story and talk & think more about it bc its Fun#the idea for this actually came earlier before i thought of the arranged marriage bit- its the sngy mission meeting thing but changed#slightly with the timeline of the marriage(19) & sanemi murking kyogo(21)#in the orig they were older & i also didnt have the idea of major civilian cities/villages for the shinobi to do stuff in#also in the angst path sanemi isnt abusive like kyogo is hes just neglectful & since giyuu was essentially completely cut off from his#normal amount of casual affection and reassurances to Literally Nothing + the looming threat of kyogo's ire + different biology#he has no support aside from Nagisa(who is trying her damn best) and it wears on him mentally ykno?#then the one person he THOUGHT loved him turns out to actually not love *him* so it turns into a fantasy he desperately clings to.#just *someone* to love and support him for being *him* and not some character.#oh almost forgot to tag#sanegiyuu#also to be specific abt the arranged marriage part kyogo forced the tomioka's hand(marry or we decimate you & still get the trade routes<3)#but giyuu volunteered in place of tsutako. he wasnt against the idea of marrying but everyone was fearful of the shinazugawa's culture#and sent Nagisa with him as like. a helper. idk if it has a name. shes a beta well versed in medicine & secondary sex stuff so giyuu's not#COMPLETELY alone to deal with that surrounded by a bunch of people who know nothing about it. theyre formal with eachother as Tomiokas#but to the Shinazugawa they seem really close. mountain pass/southern culture is Very different. more communal and close-knit to#deal with the harsh environment of the mountains/cold
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What are your future plans after the pmd 2 au is done? What will the future look like?
The first time I read this question I thought I was being asked what the future looked like within my PMD2 AU itself, like, how it’s changed and stuff after the events of the game. I was starting to brainstorm some OCs who would demonstrate the impact of what amounts to a space-time save file being overwritten when I realized that was very much not what you were asking. Whoops.
As for a Post-AU future— I made this blog for completely different reasons than the PMD2 AU Boogaloo that it’s become, and I’m planning on getting back to its intended roots with time. In my introduction post way back in July, I said you could expect to see me make things like written and drawn art pieces of my original characters, chronicles of me struggling through 30-day challenges, diary comics, essays about obscure topics, and game dev logs. I’ll probably post a lot more of that stuff once I’m done with the AU, though I’m also planning to do a bit of it before The Present Is a Gift is completely finished. This blog was made to be a place for me to store my thoughts and creations, so that’s what it’ll be!
I’m not too much of a fandom person, though— especially when it comes to things other than what I was into as a kid— so you can expect I won’t be doing very much fandom posting of anything that came around after 2015.
So yeah! :>
Also, a bonus update on The Present Is a Gift: I’m planning to write out much of the prose for my AU during National Novel Writing Month this November, so if things go according to plan, I’ll start posting chapters sometime after that! I think I’ll post the chapters here as well as a side blog that would be dedicated to relaying the story of The Present is a Gift in order— that way it will be easier to read through the chapters in proper chronology without the rest of my posts clogging things up.
#I gave up on attempting Inktober or any variants this year so I could have a better chance of completing NaNoWriMo#bc I really wanna get this AU out there#Why are all the creative challenges hosted during the holidays#I would love to write 50k words in a month but seriously???#you expect me to do this while prepping for and/or recovering from Thanksgiving#while coping with the passage of Spooky Month#AND with the looming knowledge of CHRISTMAS being right around the corner???#Whose ideas was this.#Who thought that was okay.#I want to have Words with them.#sofie says stuff#the present is a gift au
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severance is pretty good i love liminal spaces corporate horror thrillers works that deal with identity and the self and death without death milfs and old man yaoi anyways i give it a 10/10
#pretty cruel of them to leave us on a cliffhanger but what ever#this is going in the ''stuff i would've attempted to write but poorly and am glad it already exists'' box#along with naissancee and looming#milk (normal)#im gonna be so normal about this show.
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Me posting abt wanting a sonic lore book from sega made me want to write a lore doc for my ocs
#ramblings#oc posting#this can go in that tag ig#i mean i already wrote one for my furry ocs#tho it's less abt the world they live in and more abt what they are ig#like the company that made them and why they were made and like their anatomy and stuff#i wanna do one for eterna too. this one more abt the world and the ppl in it#bc my furry ocs basically live in future earth that also just so happens to have anthro animals living amongst humans like it's normal#not much lore i can give abt the world bc it's mostly the same as ours#eterna tho? ooooohh man now there's a lot of lore i can go into there#they got gods and shit. a bunch of different sapient species with different cultures#a looming darkness slowly killing the world and a bunch of monsters tied to it#and of course the world has a different history than ours#and since i already kinda did one with my furry ocs i know i love writting lore#and i'm much less likely to just. get stuck on a specific part like i often do when writting fanfic#making shit up is fun and pretty easy for me i just can't write stories. lmao#idk if i'll post it when it's done. probably not lol but i sure am gonna have fun doing it
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Just Desserts - Villainsona
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Star Control II
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: The Sims 2 - SCII
Thursday:
2:30 PM: SCII
Friday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Saturday:
2:30 PM: The Sims 2 - Handplates
Sunday:
2:30 PM: To the Moon - Rosawatts
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
#Weekly TV Guide#Man this week just flew by for me - kinda overwhelming haha#Trying to balance everything has gotten precarious with all these soon-looming self-imposed deadlines! Trying to keep up!#I'm proud of how well I've been doing with it :) It's gotten kinda tricky lately tho haha#I'm managing! Still doodling and making and reading and playing between editing and writing and queueing haha#Speaking of queueing - MusicalBloodDrop and MusicalDrabbles are both back up and running! :D#Quite pleased!#MBD'll be going for another couple weeks but I was so behind on Drabbles that I'm set for a couple months lol#V'also go the Vargas sketchdump planned for next week - pls look forward to it :)#Hopefully this one won't break too badly lol#ANYway lol this week over here!#Lots of Sims 2 and Star Control and SCII-in-TS2 lol#Fun all around <3 I had a lot of fun making and screenshotting all of these hehe#Pretty sure this is also the last of the Handplates stuff for now - at least as far as what I've drawn lately#Never know when or what next haha#Well. I know what I've got coming up Soon hehe ♪
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Dialogue is already something when you're a professional over-thinker, but dialogue for characters who already exist and have personalities and ways of speaking? Also something
#dm thoughts#Yes I am the kind of person to stare at a line of text and go#'Is this phrased correctly? Does the word choice fit the character? Is it in character for them to use this verb?'#it is a blessing and a curse at the same time#I've been working on stuff for my warlock player's backstory#so the mental visual has just been Azalin looming over me like 'You better be writing my dialogue accurately or else.'#and me sitting at my computer like a sad little cartoon henchman going 'UH-HUH BOSS I'M ON IT BOSS-'#like I know I could just say 'fuck it' and go in my own direction and I have done just that multiple times and will continue to do so#but I also don't want to pick up Strahd and throw him so far that he becomes entirely unrecognizable ya know?
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Daily Log 2
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Much less than yesterday, felt sick and sleepy so barely got anything done. It was also warmer inside today.. Very much dreading summer. I still feel like the people who ~~ love warm weather sooo much~~ must also have central heating and air and are able to escape the warmth, or at least have cool airy houses where they can get cross breezes or something.. I just fail to see how ANYONE could enjoy sweating all day because it's like 75F indoors, etc. grrbb,,, the headaches, sleepless sweaty nights, constant physical discomfort, etc. The next few days look cloudy and rainy though so.. yEs.. haha HA
Got a new charger for my old 2004 nokia phone so it actually turns on now, and recorded myself going through the ringtones and games. I might add the footage to a currently not fully edited video of me also looking through other electronics (old phones, turbo twist math, etc.). I love old ringtones actually and if I were rich, I would love to collect old phones specifically just to have a catalogue of what they're like and all of the sounds they contain.
Managed to have a tiny burst of energy and take photos of 3 outfits before my arms and shoulder started hurting and I got too warm.
Sent email to one doctor.
Translated like 3 words for the Avirrekava poem thing I mentioned yesterday. My language document is not organized very well at all so I've kind of lost my flow of working on it. I've heard about people making searchable dictionary type things for their conlangs, so I'd like to look more into that maybe. As well as making a custom font, though I don't know if that's more difficult for syllabaries (so wouldn't be directly linkable to a plain english alphabet keyboard?? eh?). Anyway, I need to finish the tapestry/painting thing/etc. soon though since I have no good place to put it. The canvas is warping a little just laying haphazardly on my closet floor lol.
Made one quick mspaint background image for the next batch of song snippet things for my jokey music youtube.
Edited like 10 minutes of the Giant Worldbuilding Slideshow Project.. couldn't focus on that either since being at the computer today irritated my shoulders and arms.
Notable sights: Saw 6 baby ducks and their parents swimming in a nearby pond!! It's interesting how their colors seem to change so much, and the young ones have the little spots on their back. Not much else, I was not very active lol..
Goals moving forward: Still working on consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks (I thought I would get it done today, but alas.. I don't even have to do much, just proofread and post it, I just keep having no energy/being preoccupied with other things/hurts to be on computer.. grrr.. I want to continue the story lol >:T).
Notable foods: HAD ASPARAGUS YEaaaaaghhhHHHH!!!!!!!!! Asparagus SQUAD!!!!!!!!!! ... Also a few pieces of smoked gouda with lunch, one of my favorite cheeses.
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#I'm just curious to see if it helps. I know some poeple do diary style stuff or etc. on social media to help with productivity so#worth trying for like a week at least lol#tired and sleepy of being tired and sleepy though. Every day that stuff like chronic health problems or weather or etc.#interfere with me getting stuff done and it's all stuff that I've also had on my todo list for like.. weeks at this point it's like.. oughh#insurmountable tasks ever looming piling upon my shoulderes...#I've been 'supposed to call a lab to shedule blood work' for like a week and a half now and everyday I get the number#out and look at it and just go 'hmm.... sooon...' and then suddenly it's 10pm and I didn't#You Know How It Is Folks. I'm going to write myself a script of exactly what to say and also tape it to my computer screen#Sometimes that helps. lol#I dont' feel like I need a full on caretaker or something at this point but someitmes I do think like.. in a few years with my various#physical and mental issues it would be nice to have a Person Who Functions Normally Socially come visit me like once#every two weeks to help me plan things and make phone calls. Same with creative stuff too though. I bet I'd be doing something creative as#a career by now if I had like. an Assigned Neurotypical Extrovert to network for me and help me navigate things like that bjhbhj#hashtag hermit problems. etc. etc. (not just like 'a little weird and asocial' but like.. 'near complete inability to function in society'#type hermit problems lol..#ANYWAY.. ..#Also fighting the urge to have another personality typing phase. I can feel it creeping up. My 'once every 3 months when I get very#interested in the enneagram and other stuff again' type of thing. distracting myself with worldbuilding paintings instead ghgj#why don't you do a phone call for your blood work first maybe then you can spend 3 hours reading about tritypes or whatever#I have so many interests and hobbies but a handful of Main Ones and they never go away I just seem to take turns with them#Except worldbuilding I think that's always there. Genuinely again.. wish I could find some way to work that into a career. that is the only#thing I could to 1000 hours straight at any time of day under any circumstance. Kidnap me and lock me in a basement and I will be passing#my time thinking about what type of cheese elves make and all the things I'm going to write once I escape captivity ghjhj#EVEYRHTING else though lol.. kind of comes and goes. but can be annoying when it's suddenly the only thing my mind#wants to focus on. BUT yeagh.. ANYWAY... rambling again#daily log
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It has not been a productive day, but I did get my homework done before tomorrow's session and didn't lose my composure while writing it (not that there would have been anyone here to see but still), so there's that.
#random personal stuff#there's creative stuff I wanted to write but didn't#and analysis stuff I wanted to do but didn't#my boss says that presenting papers at conventions like the one I'm going to at the end of the month looks good on a resume#and basically implied that I should continue doing it#but I've run out of papers from my grad school days and would have to write new ones#but what would I even write about?#everything I have Thoughts on isn't very academic#I've already presented on something literally no one cares about and that was utterly thankless so probably not a good idea again#if I don't get an award at convention it will be deeply embarrassing#(since there are only four papers including mine in the alumni category)#self-evaluations at work need to be done this week and I'm dreading it#I feel like a barely adequate employee and I'm afraid my boss will criticize me and that I disappoint her#and I have so much to read for looming book groups that I somehow got roped into#I feel like I'm forgetting something somewhere#why did I use to want to be an academic? I'm not even in class and my brain can't keep up#but it's the closest to the only thing I can sort of do#do you ever just...not know what you want to do or be#like at all?#there is literally nothing I want out of life#least of all what I want to be when I grow up#of course a lot of us don't know that yet#but I feel like I should by now#anyway wow sounds like I should probably sleep or something#will I do that? ...eventually?
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