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fatehbaz · 2 years ago

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Good question:

In the United States, many jails and prisons can and will charge you money for every single night that you spend imprisoned, for the entire duration of your incarceration, as if you were being billed for staying at a hotel. Even if you are incarcerated for years. Adding up to tens of thousands of dollars. What happens when you’re released?

In response to this:

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So.

You’re getting charged, like, ten dollars every time you even submit a request form to possibly be seen by a doctor or dentist.

You’re getting charged maybe five dollars for ten minutes on the phone.

Any time a friend or family tries to send you like five dollars so that you can buy some toothpaste or lotion, or maybe a snack from the commissary since you’re diabetic and the “meals” have left you malnourished, maybe half of that money gets taken as a “service fee” by the corporate contractor that the prison uses to manage your pre-paid debit card. So you’re already losing money every day just by being there.

What happens if you can’t pay?

In some places, after serving just a couple of years for drugs charges, almost 20 years after being released, the state can still hunt you down for over $80,000 that you “owe” as if it were a per-night room-and-board accommodations charge, like this recent highly-publicized case in Connecticut:

Excerpt:

Two decades after her release from prison, [TB] feels she is still being punished. When her mother died two years ago, the state of Connecticut put a lien on the Stamford home she and her siblings inherited. It said she owed $83,762 to cover the cost of her 2 1/2 year imprisonment for drug crimes. [...] “I’m about to be homeless,” said [TB], 58, who in March [2022] became the lead plaintiff in a lawsuit challenging the state law that charges prisoners $249 a day for the cost of their incarceration. [...] All but two states have so-called “pay-to-stay” laws that make prisoners pay for their time behind bars [...]. Critics say it’s an unfair second penalty that hinders rehabilitation by putting former inmates in debt for life. Efforts have been underway in some places to scale back or eliminate such policies. Two states — Illinois and New Hampshire — have repealed their laws since 2019. [...] Pay-to-stay laws were put into place in many areas during the tough-on-crime era of the 1980s and ’90s, said Brittany Friedman, an assistant professor of sociology at University of Southern California who is leading a study of the practice. [...] Connecticut used to collect prison debt by attaching an automatic lien to every inmate, claiming half of any financial windfall they might receive for up to 20 years after they are released from prison [...].

Text by: Pat Eaton-Robb. “At $249 per day, prison stays leave ex-inmates deep in debt.” AP News / The Associated Press. 27 August 2022.

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Look at this:

To help her son, Cindy started depositing between $50 to $100 a week into Matthew’s account, money he could use to buy food from the prison commissary, such as packaged ramen noodles, cookies, or peanut butter and jelly to make sandwiches. Cindy said sending that money wasn’t necessarily an expense she could afford. “No one can,” she said. So far in the past month, she estimates she sent Matthew close to $300. But in reality, he only received half of that amount. The balance goes straight to the prison to pay off the $1,000 in “rent” that the prison charged Matthew for his prior incarceration. [...] A PA Post examination of six county budgets (Crawford, Dauphin, Lebanon, Lehigh, Venango and Indiana) showed that those counties’ prisons have collected more than $15 million from inmates — almost half is for daily room and board fees that are meant to cover at least a portion of the costs with housing and food. Prisoners who don’t work are still expected to pay. If they don’t, their bills are sent to collections agencies, which can report the debts to credit bureaus. [...] Between 2014 and 2017, the Indiana County Prison — which has an average inmate population of 87 people — collected nearly $3 million from its prisoners. In the past five years, Lebanon’s jail collected just over $2 million in housing and processing fees.

Text by: Joseph Darius Jaafari. “Paying rent to your jailers: Inmates are billed millions of dollars for their stays in Pa. prisons.” WHYY (PBS). 10 December 2019. Originally published at PA Post.

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Pay-to-stay, the practice of charging people to pay for their own jail or prison confinement, is being enforced unfairly by using criminal, civil and administrative law, according to a new Rutgers University-New Brunswick led study. The study [...] finds that charging pay-to-stay fees is triggered by criminal justice contact but possible due to the co-opting of civil and administrative institutions, like social service agencies and state treasuries that oversee benefits, which are outside the realm of criminal justice. “A person can be charged $20 to $80 a day for their incarceration,” said author Brittany Friedman, an assistant professor of sociology and a faculty affiliate of Rutgers' criminal justice program. “That per diem rate can lead to hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees when a person gets out of prison. To recoup fees, states use civil means such as lawsuits and wage garnishment against currently and formerly incarcerated people, and regularly use administrative means such as seizing employment pensions, tax refunds and public benefits to satisfy the debt.” [...] Civil penalties are enacted on family members if the defendant cannot pay and in states such as Florida, Nevada and Idaho can occur even after the original defendant is deceased. [...]

Text by: Megan Schumann. “States Unfairly Burdening Incarcerated People With “Pay-to-Stay” Fees.” Rutgers press release. 20 November 2020.

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So, to pay for your own imprisonment, states can:

-- hunt you down for decades (track you down 20 years later, charge you tens of thousands of dollars, and take your house away)

-- put a lien on your vehicle, house

-- garnish your paycheck/wages

-- seize your tax refund

-- send collections agencies after you

-- take your public assistance benefits

-- sue you in civil court

-- take money from your family even after you’re dead

#abolition

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lilghostiequinni · 4 months ago

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Circumstances

Main Masterlist Max Masterlist

Pairing: Single Mom!female reader x Max Verstappen

Warnings: Fluffy,

Summary: You love your babies, but sometimes you need a break and Max loves taking them out for the day.

Requested: NO / yes

You loved your babies very much; there was no amount of words to describe how much love you felt for your three kids.

There was your oldest, a boy, Julian, who was 7. Then there was your eldest daughter, Claira, who was 5.

They were the children of your late fiancee, who died in a car crash before he even got to meet his daughter.

Your best friend and rock through it all, Lando, was there for every mistake you made, every little miss-step. With every down he was there, and he was also there for every up.

In 2020, you two made a bet to see how long it would last for the other to crack in a relationship, so you two started dating. Everything went smoothly, but nothing changed, really.

The only thing that did was there was now another element of intimacy.

It was you who cracked first and broke up with Lando because you saw the way he was looking at Luisinha Oliveira.

What you didn't expect was to find out that you were pregnant with a girl.

Hana Norris was born on November 9th, 2021.

In 2022, you started to date Max Verstappen after he broke up with Kelly Piquet.

He always brought a smile to your face, and you always brought one to his, and you made him feel calmer than before.

He loved your kids; to the older two, he was their father; to Hana, he was her uncle because her dad was still around.

But today, you needed a break; everything was overwhelming, and you didn't feel the greatest, so when Max suggested taking the kids to the park for a few hours so you could sleep and just relax, you were hesitant.

Not because you didn't trust Max but because you hadn't been alone or without your babies for 7 almost 8 years.

But you gave in, and it brought Max a massive smile.

Claira wanted to invite Charles.

Hana wanted to bring Lando, her father.

While your son wanted Max and only Max, no one else.

They did come along, and Oscar, too, was visiting Lando.

You rested and relaxed for the time they were gone.

When they returned, Lando walked in as he carried Hana and Max carrying Claira, while Charles carried Julian, who was talking animately to him and Oscar.

You just smiled at them as Lnado and Max went to put the girls to bed, and Charles and Oscar sat with your son while he talked.

When Lando and Max finished putting the two girls to bed, Lando joined your son, and Max stood behind you, arms around your waist.

You just leaned further into him, watching your son.

A/N: Follower Cele 8, here

Tags: @llando4norris @mcmuppet @ellen3101

If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striked through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop

#f1 #formula 1 #max verstappen x you #max verstappen #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #mad max #mv #mv1 #mv33 #follower celebration

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the-offside-rule · 1 year ago

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Carlos Sainz Jr (Scuderia Ferrari) - Get A Grip

Requested: via wattpad

Prompt: Carlos was a huge red flag during their relationship and then when Y/n glows up after they breakup, he tries to get back with her but she was having none of it because she was seeing another driver on the grid (you can choose)

Warnings: Carlos getting eaten alive (not actually just...metaphorically) AND THID IS A GIVEN BUT THIS IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL

Monaco 2022. Y/n sat with her boyfriend in a nightclub as his shiny P2 trophy stood proudly on the table, surrounded by bottles and glasses. Y/n smiled uncomfortably as her boyfriend laid his arm around her shoulders and charted happily with his engineers. Yn played with the rings on her fingers, catching the attention of her boyfriend. Well that wasn't true. The engineer he was talking to noticed it and told Carlos. That made it worst. "You okay?" Carlos asked. Y/n nodded. "Is this one of those tricks where you say you are but you aren't?" She nodded again. "Well, whats wrong then?" He asked harshly. "I don't want to be here." She told him. Carlos reached into his pocket and pulled out the card to their room. "I'll be up in an hour. Order yourself food or something." She held her card in her hand, staring at it blankly. "Carlos, I want you to come with me."

"I don't want to leave yet." Carlos replied. "But I came here, not wanting to go out." Y/n said. "I got a podium. Of course I'm going to go out." Carlos scoffed. "You got podiums last season and we stayed in and had dinner. Why can't we do that?" She asked desperately. "Because we're in Monaco-" She cut him off"You got a podium in Monaco last year too!"

"Y/n, get a grip." Y/n felt her heart shattering. "What?" She asked. "Well, Im your boyfriend. I don't know how I am meant to help you with this." Carlos took another swig of his glass and set it down. "You could try and reassure me maybe. Just a thought!" She stood up and left, hearing Carlos call after her, but stopping after a single try.

"I don't know what to do Lily." Y/n sobbed in the bathroom. "I would dump him." Lily said, moving a piece of Y/n's behind her hair. "I- I can't see myself without him." Y/n sniffled. "Look, I couldn't see myself without Alex, sweetie, but if he spoke to me that way I'd find a way to be without him." It seemed so easy for Lily. Y/n physically couldn't think of a life where Carlos wasn't around. "I can't." Lily gave her fellow wag a sympathetic smile and hugged her. "Come on. Let's go. We don't want people seeing you like this."

Y/n and Lily walked through the dancing crowd, making their way to the VIP area where all the drivers stayed. As the security opened the red rope for the ladies to walk through,their eyes set on "What we're you doing with that girl?" Y/n asked, looking at Carlos with eyes full of rage. "She wanted a photo and we got a photo." Carlos said. "You kissed her on the cheek." Carlos groaned. "Wow, a kiss on the cheek. This is what I mean, you always-" She didn't like after that. It was seeing Carlos finally doing what everyone was telling her he does. "I'm done." She mumbled. "What?" Carlos asked. "I- I'm done." Carlos' face dropped. "Y/n-" She turned and walked away, leaving that life behind her. She would never let another man treat her the way he did again.

After the break up was announced, a lot of news came out about Carlos. A lot from girls he supposedly slept with at races Y/n didn't attend. How they all allegedly were invited to races Y/n wouldn't be at, and even some that Y/n was at. Regardless of if she was there or not, he cheated. God knows what would have happened if Y/n hadn't left the bathroom I Monaco. Maybe he would have gone further with that "fan". All she could do right now, was simply move on and build a life without him. And that was exactly what she did.

The 2023 summer break had finished and Carlos had partied more or less every weekend, racking up a body count but not wanting any of the girls to stay. He miled for photos and signed things for fans as he entered the paddock. As he walked on, past the flash mob and fans, another driver caught his attention. He heard the cameras flashing and turned to see Max walking in with a girl. It wasnt the girlfriend he had back at testing, she was different and he could tell by the colour of the hair. He pulled a face but continued walking to the Ferrari hospitality. He watched through the tinted windows to get a closer look. "Who are we stalking?" Charles asked, standing beside his teammate. "Max has a new girlfriend." Carlos muttered. "You're sure it's not the same as testing?" Charles asked. "No, the hair is different. So is the style." Carlos replied. "Hair dye, hired a stylist." Charles chuckled. "No, believe me. She's different! Look!" Carlos and Charles' gaze fell onto the girl holding hands with Max as the both laughed with eachother. Charles looked over to Carlos, waiting to see the moment realisation would settle in. "Is that-" He paused. Y/n.

"Well...she's a different girl." She was. Not only was she not the girl Max brought to testing, but she was barely even the girl Carlos had once dated. She changed immensely. She went back to her natural hair colour, instead of having it dyed and she changed her style. Her whole aura was different. "She is. Do you think Max has something to do with it?" He asked. "Or maybe your breakup." Carlos turned to Charles. "I'll go." Charles mumbled.

As the weeks passed, Carlos got sick of seeing Max winning, because it meant he'd see Y/n kissing him before he went to the podium each and every time, each time met with Carlos rolling his eyes.

In Qatar, Carlos didn't start and so he sat watching the race instead. As he walked through the paddock club, he spotted Y/n sipping a drink at a table with Jos. He didn't know what was happening, but he found himself walking over towards the table and before he could stop himself, he found himself shaking hands with Jos and having small talk as Y/n simply looked at him, Carlos looking back. "I need to go to the garage now, Carlos but it was nice catching up." Jos smiled as he turned to Y/n. "I'll see you there." Jos said to Y/n as she nodded. Jos left, leaving Carlos and Y/n to fill awkward silence. As Carlos stood there, watching the formation lap, he decided to speak.

"You know drivers move quickly." Carlos said to her. He face palmed himself in his mind. Why would he say that?! "Like how quickly you moved on from me?" Carlos clenched his jaw. Even when they weren't together, she drove him crazy. "You'd think you would have learned from the first driver." Y/n nodded. "The driver that has more bodies to his name than podiums? Yes. Of course." She rolled her eyes and went to walk away, but Carlos took hold of her hand. "Stop being like this. You were nothing like this with me, ever." Carlos said sternly. Y/b pulled her hand from his grip. "That was before you cheated. I've changed and you only think you have." He grabbed her again. This time when she looked back to him, the white in his eyes had turned as tears threatened to fall. "Carlos? Whats-"

"I- I can't find your face in these girls I try to be with. I need you. I miss you." Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat as she was faced with Carlos, crying. It was the first time she'd ever seen him crying but she knew exactly what she had to do. "Carlos-" Y/n began, regrettfully caressing his face, a soft smile on her lips. A spark of hope lit up in Carlos' heart. "Get a grip." She whispered, before turning and walking back to the Red Bull garage to watch her boyfriend go onto win his third World championship.

And Carlos watched in envy as Y/n kissed Maxs helmet, just as she once did to his. Get a grip. It was his yurn turn get a grip.

#f1 blurb #f1 imagine #f1 oneshot #f1 oneshots #carlos sainz blurb #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz junior #carlos sainz jr imagine #carlos sainz #carlos sainz jr #max verstappen x reader #charles leclerc oneshot

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brighter-by-the-daly · 1 year ago

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Lucy Bronze x Reader

Camera Doesn’t Lie

Prompt: Could you please do something about Lucy in the new Lionesses photoshoot? She looks too good! - anon

Since Papper Snapper had left the England squad after the Euros there was an opening for club photographer. You’d been working your way up the ranks within the women’s football community for the last few years and after one too many drinks in the pub, your friends finally convinced you to press the send button on your application. You never imagined that you would get an interview, let alone the job and was soon following England Women all around the country. When the World Cup came around the staff had to wait for a call up from Sarina exactly like the squad did and you had never been so nervous in your life. You’d never even been out of the UK, let alone a country the complete other side of the world!

You’d now been with the squad for almost a year and had become close with the team, it was your job after all! If you didn’t have a good relationship with them then you could kiss goodbye to the amazing photos the club expected to receive every evening. Your job role included squeezing genuine smiles from them after a tiring day at training, managing the adaptions to clothing to be photographed just right and needed the banter to pull off some candid laughter from the players. You soon became known for your jokes that although awful, always got a authentic chuckle out of them.

Even though your time with England had been short, you soon learnt that there was one player you didn’t have to direct - Lucy Bronze. She just knew exactly what to do every single time there was a camera lense pointed in her direction. Your photo of her won the Sports Picture of the Year 2022 and she was your go-to whenever you received special requests from newspapers and magazines. Lucy’s photos were the hardest to choose between which ones made the cut because they were all stunning - there were never any bad ones to delete because she just doesn’t do bad!

Today was new kit photoshoot day and one by one the players came in ready for their pictures to be taken. The lighting had to be just right as these would be displayed during the line ups and squad list for the upcoming tournament. Every photoshoot was a long day but especially long when done singularly. Seeing on your list there was only one person left, you were relieved to find out it was Lucy, knowing her shoot would take 3 minutes max then you could get to bed - finally!

Waltzing into the room wearing this season’s England kit already pinned at the back to make it taut, hair scooped back military style with not a single strand out of place and a huge grin on her face ready to be captured. Lucy needed no direction at all, she loved the camera and the camera loved her. “Your favourite client has arrived!” her cocky demeanour always intimidated you, Lucy knew how to make your job easy but she also knew how to make your heart flutter with unease. She was just so fucking hot and she knew that too! More recently her flirtatious ways had started to eat away at you, wearing you down until you were weak and flustered over any communication with the defender. “Make sure you make me look good, yeah!” she smirked while striking different poses without having to prompt her. She’d done this so many times before that the brunette could do it in her sleep! “You know you don’t need me to make you look good Bronzey!” chuckling nervously at her comment. Everything she does she does it with confidence and that intimidated the fuck out of you. “Flattery never hurt anyone though!” her smug look through the camera made you wince. “Okay, we’re done here!” you announced quickly closing the camera lens to stop her penetrating eye contact getting to you through the screen any longer. “Nice, see ya tomorrow lil’ darlin’!” she said in her sensual deep tone of voice as she hopped down from the platform and sauntered out of the room, watching her leave she pulled her hair out from the bun as it dropped down past her shoulders. Snapping you out of your intense gaze at the name on her back when she swiftly turned around to ask if you needed any help packing up your equipment. “Nope, I’ve got it!” yelling across the hall as you fumbled over the camera cases at your feet making everything topple over and crashing sounds echo around the room, hoping she didn’t notice you watching her leave. She most certainly did because when she continued to walk away you heard a soft laugh exit her mouth as she went.

Today was the last media day before everyone left for Australia, it was the team photo day so shouldn’t take as long as the last shoot. Although these ones didn’t take as much time, they took a lot more patience because as the photographer you had to make sure everyone was looking the same way, all eyes were open and everyone was visible. Trying to direct 30 people at once was a lot harder than one at a time, it was a lot like a child’s birthday party except they were all hyper adults instead. A few small group photos took place while the rest of the team got ready. Strolling into the room looking half dressed Lucy claimed she was ready for the professional shoot. All the girls had picked their outfits from a range of smart monotone suit options but Lucy decided to skip the entire shirt rail completely and chose to only wear a waistcoat to cover her torso, showing off her toned arms and chest. “Errm, why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” the exasperation could be heard in your voice, ‘do I really need to help them get dressed too?’ you thought to yourself as if your work load isn’t already enough to handle. “Had to get your attention somehow didn’t I?” shrugging her shoulders and trying her best to look innocent but failed at covering up the smirk on her face. “You really do fancy yourself don’t you” reluctantly setting up your tripod for the photos she desperately wanted. “Well that’s one thing we have in common!” Lucy quipped, quick to hush her knowing that fraternisation amongst the squad and crew was strictly forbidden. “Did you do this on purpose?” you asked the taller brunette as you clicked away on your camera buttons. “You’re always complimenting my arms” pulling a pose with her tensed biceps like Bruce Forsyth on a 80s tv game show. “It’s my job Luce, don’t flatter yourself” laughing nervously at the eye contact she was giving you through the camera, noticing she was stepping off of the platform and edging towards you, you lowered the camera to face her. “When are you just gonna admit you fancy the pants off me, I’m bored of chasing” she said raising her eyebrow. “You literally chase a ball for a living” replying sarcastically trying to neutralise the conversation from overly flirty to just workplace friendly. “Yeah but I’m chasing you for fun, there’s a difference” her smug face coming closer to yours. “If you’re not gonna change let’s get this shoot over and done with so I’m not here till midnight, yeah?” reluctantly turning away and changing your lenses, you didn’t have to but it gave you an excuse to break away from the intense encounter. “Anything for you sweet cheeks!” the brunette winked before going off to pester someone else.

Packing up your things and heading for the door Lucy collared you “have your been waiting for me this whole time?” you asked as she startled you out of your business brain of all the editing you had to look forward to tonight. “Yeah, gotta be sure you make it to your car okay haven’t I?” draping her bare arm around your shoulders, “unless you wanna stay with me tonight?” raising her eyebrows and pulling a teethy grin. “You know that’s not allowed Lucy” shrugging her arm from around you and telling her off for still wearing the loaned clothing. “They’re gonna notice yours are missing!” tugging on the threads. “Trying to take my clothes off now are you?” she acted playfully making your eyes roll. “Give it a rest woman!” pushing her softly before walking away. Lucy quickly rushed in front of you to act defender in the doorway so you couldn’t leave, finding yourself trying to dodge past either side of her as she continued to block your exit. You were tired, hungry and getting more annoyed by the second, “I just want to go to bed!” whining and stomping your foot in frustration. Stepping towards your body you backed away from her not realising the wall was so close behind you. She had you right where she wanted you and placed one arm above her head, leaning on to the wall above you in a sexy manner. “Well why didn’t you say that?” gesturing to her hotel room door with her eyes and displaying a large cheeky grin. She was so close to your face it made your bottom lip tremble from being in such a close proximity to the brunette. As she bowed down to make your heads level your breath became shaky. “My boyfriend will be waiting for me” you blurted out, making your relationship status known while looking towards the exit, yet making no attempt to push her away from you. A cocky laugh left her mouth, “I guarantee I can make you feel better than he does” her eyes flickered between your facial features, looking down at your lips and back up to your eyes. “Is that a bet?” your voice now sensual too, your eyes copying her movements with anticipation, with every breath her face was edging closer to yours that you practically said that into her mouth. With very sudden motions Lucy wrapped her arms around your body pulling you into her, picking you up and throwing you over her shoulder like you weighed nothing causing a squeal of excitement as she carried you into her room. “You can tell me I’m right after” she smirked, kicking the door shut behind her.

#lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #lionesses #lionesses x reader #engwnt #engwnt x reader #woso x reader #woso masterlist #woso fanfics #woso community #woso one shot #woso imagine

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melrosing · 7 months ago

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JAIME IN THE RIVERLANDS II: Bluffs, Bargaining and Baby Trebuchets - Why Jaime Can’t Win at Riverrun

[lol sorry i've not updated this since Dec 2022 but i feel kind of compelled to finish it and this part was actually mostly done in back in Jan last year. I just got distracted. anyway part one here]

Following ASOS where Jaime’s character development came thick and fast, Jaime of AFFC is stalling by comparison, looking for an outlet and lacking one. He hopes to improve the Kingsguard as its new Commander but it’s in a poor state, saddled with men like Boros Blount and Osmund Kettleblack who are sworn to serve it for life. Meanwhile, his every move is undermined by Cersei’s erratic rule as regent, or the strange counsel she has built around her. He is beside his son, but Tommen can’t know it, and his daily duties involve tedium more often than not. Jaime’s scope has been drastically reduced: there are no bears, there is only Pycelle, and meanwhile his relationship with Cersei is undergoing seismic change that leaves him emotionally adrift.

Jaime is also growing increasingly conscious of the risk that Tywin’s death poses to his family: joining the funeral procession for his father’s return to the Rock, ‘dead’ rings in his ears as he attempts reconciliation between Kevan and Cersei (JAIME II, AFFC) - Tywin is truly gone, and nothing stands in his place. Indeed, whilst we see throughout ASOS and AFFC that Tywin had the respect of his siblings, Jaime and Cersei are viewed by Genna and Kevan as little more than squabbling children far out of their depth. Kevan even regards the twins as a direct threat to he and his family’s security and goes so far to say as much, rending the family deeper. Worse still, Jaime is unsure whether or not Cersei does represent a true threat to their uncle, leaving him to play the game half blind:

Ser Kevan was a Lannister of Casterly Rock. He could not believe that she would ever do him harm, but… I was wrong about Tyrion, why not about Cersei? When sons were killing fathers, what was there to stop a niece from ordering an uncle slain? [JAIME II, AFFC]

It’s clear at this point to both Jaime and the reader that House Lannister is beginning to cannibalise itself, with each link representing a threat to the other: even Genna and Kevan compete for safer seats for their families, with Kevan leaving the poisoned chalice of Riverrun for his sister and her children. Meanwhile, Cersei’s growing paranoia and ineptitude as queen is setting off alarm bells: “The crows will feast upon us all if you go on this way, sweet sister” (JAIME II, AFFC). House Lannister’s vulnerability is hugely apparent, and now, far from Tywin’s vision of a single unanimous collective, each branch of the family pulls in its own direction. So we see that part of Jaime’s role at this point in the story is to somehow reunite his family with the singular object of their security: the trouble is that the security of House Lannister runs directly counter to the security of all others.

It is here that Cersei sends Jaime into the Riverlands against his will, to finish their father’s work in quashing House Stark and House Tully. Jaime goes reluctantly, knowing the Riverlands have already been ravaged by his father’s men: “scarce a field remained unburnt, a town unsacked, a maiden undespoiled.” Cersei’s request that he finish the work of men like Gregor Clegane and Amory Lorch “[leaves] a bitter taste in his mouth” (JAIME III, AFFC). Jaime is also mindful of his oaths to Catelyn Stark, i.e. that he will not take arms against Stark or Tully, and his own personal ambitions for betterment. But the dregs of the war aren’t going anywhere, and so begins Jaime’s attempt to balance his own personal ambitions with what his family needs to solidify their rule.

RETURNING TO THE RIVERLANDS

Jaime initially travels with little sense of direction. He hovers at Darry to see Lancel and settle the matter of Cersei’s infidelity. He returns to Harrenhal to restore order, and makes some attempts at a transformation into ‘Goldenhand the Just’: rescuing Pia, executing her rapist, punishing outlaws (be they of opposing camps or otherwise) and rehabilitating Ser Ilyn Payne. But as many have observed, these are small gestures - perhaps even misguided, in the case of the outlaws: Brienne’s chapters feature a sorrowful monologue on the plight of ‘broken men’, who have long suffered at the mercy of their high lords. This is Jaime attempting to do good within the scope he’s been afforded, but he is under no illusions that it is enough to transform his reputation, and it is certainly not enough to atone for his sins:

"Wear [the golden hand], Jaime," urged Ser Kennos of Kayce. "Wave at the smallfolk and give them a tale to tell their children." "I think not." Jaime would not show the crowds a golden lie. Let them see the stump. Let them see the cripple. [JAIME III, AFFC]

“Men will name you Goldenhand from his day forth,” the armorer had assured him the first time he fitted it onto Jaime’s wrist. He was wrong. I shall be the Kingslayer till I die. [JAIME III, AFFC]

“He was not wrong," Ser Bonifer allowed, "but some sins are blacker than others, and fouler in the nostrils of the Seven." And you have no more nose than my little brother, or my own sins would have you choking on that pear. [JAIME III, AFFC]

After loitering long enough, Jaime finally continues his journey to Riverrun, where he finds the entire place at a standstill. The Freys have ruined negotiations by belying the bluff behind their threats, and now Riverrun will not fall without armed conflict. Jaime does not want armed conflict owing to the oath he swore to Catelyn that he would not take up arms against House Tully, but the danger to his house grows more pronounced: Lannisters and Freys can be found hanging in the woods, and Brynden Tully obstinately wants no peace with them. The contrast between the honourable Tullys and the impotent Freys is immediately made starkly apparent, and any reader would feel that Jaime is on the wrong side of this conflict. Yet even despite Jaime’s own obvious disregard for the Freys, we get to see the House Lannister he’s grown up with, and hopes to protect: the jovial Daven, the fond Genna, even the tragic Lancel. There is genuine affection amongst the extended tree of Lannisters, not easily dismissed for the sake of oaths.

Yet even so, Genna quickly notes Jaime is not the man to protect them: “Who will protect us now? [...] Tyrion is Tywin’s son, not you.” I’d argue that it is at this juncture, more than any other, that Jaime resolves to begin his performance as Tywin’s ‘true’ heir: he has entered this conflict lacking direction, and Genna has now provided him one that he has willfully ignored till now: House Lannister needs someone to protect them, and if not him, then who?

So begins the delicate balancing act between Jaime’s own ideals and oaths to Catelyn, alongside the dwindling security of House Lannister.

ALLIES & ENEMIES

We frequently see Jaime struggle with the fact that he vastly prefers his enemies to his allies, even as the reader is encouraged to do the same. Jaime likes Jeyne Westerling, with her earnest devotion to Robb. He has admired Brynden Tully since he was a boy, and desperately hopes to win the man over himself (to no avail). He clearly prefers Tytos Blackwood to Jonos Bracken, despite (if not because of) Blackwood’s staunch support for House Tully, versus Bracken’s more malleable loyalties. Yet Jaime himself is encumbered by Freys of dubious loyalty and still more dubious character (if they are not altogether ineffectual), as well as lickspittles and violent rogues, such as the remainder of Gregor’s party he finds at Harrenhal. We see Jaime attempting to work with what he’s been given, but the disdain he feels towards his allies is always palpable - whilst his preference for his more honourable enemies is a recurring weakness.

Jaime’s ADWD chapter is an interesting exploration of both the strengths of Jaime’s character, and the ways in which he is ill-suited to his role in this conflict. He is instantly able to build some rapport with Tytos Blackwood, agreeing to privately manage humiliating dealings, and making allowances for the man where he can. He even goes so far as to allow Blackwood to choose his own hostage - Jonos Bracken advises Jaime that taking Tytos’ treasured daughter would give House Lannister the strongest hold over the family, but when Tytos emotionally protests, he allows the man to instead suggest a son he’s less fond of, and who would even enjoy the trip to the capital. The threat inherent in this exchange is so forgotten that when Hoster Blackwood emerges as though ready for summer camp, Jaime realises he has to remind the Blackwoods of who exactly they’re dealing with, else appear weak to a supporter who might easily turn:

"I am not your friend and I am not your brother." That cleaned the grin off the boy's face. Jaime turned to Lord Tytos. "My lord, let there be no misunderstanding here. Lord Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr, Sandor Clegane, Brynden Tully, this woman Stoneheart … all these are outlaws and rebels, enemies to the king and all his leal subjects. If I should learn that you or yours are hiding them, protecting them, or assisting them in any way, I will not hesitate to send you your son's head. I hope you understand that. Understand this as well: I am not Ryman Frey." [JAIME I, ADWD]

Here, Jaime directly counterposes himself with Ryman Frey: the man who almost lost Riverrun owing to his ineffectual bluffing. The reason being that Jaime and Ryman are dealing in the same currency: so far, Jaime has offered only threats that remain untested by his enemies, and Hos the hostage is only another of them. His role as Tywin’s heir is an elaborate performance, but Tywin’s reputation was earned through deed - Jaime so far relies only the memory of that. The second any one enemy does dare to test his resolve, the whole business could come crashing down - because this is a character who has yet to prove his resolve in the matter to either his enemies or himself, and is desperately avoiding doing so.

We see his lack of conviction again in subsequent conversations with his new hostage. Hoster reminds Jaime of his younger brother Tyrion, building his warmth towards the boy, and soon enough Jaime is asking him questions about the surrounding landscape and its history. At the end of the chapter, Jaime even shares a skin of wine with Hoster and his young squires (mostly hostages themselves) about a campfire, failing to enforce an emotional distance. The only instance where Jaime resumes his performance before Hoster is one where the pretence is palpable:

"My father had a saying too. Never wound a foe when you can kill him. Dead men don't claim vengeance." "Their sons do," said Hoster, apologetically. "Not if you kill the sons as well. Ask the Casterlys about that if you doubt me. Ask Lord and Lady Tarbeck, or the Reynes of Castamere. Ask the Prince of Dragonstone." For an instant, the deep red clouds that crowned the western hills reminded him of Rhaegar's children, all wrapped up in crimson cloaks. "Is that why you killed all the Starks?" "Not all," said Jaime. "Lord Eddard's daughters live. One has just been wed. The other …" Brienne, where are you? Have you found her? "… if the gods are good, she'll forget she was a Stark. She'll wed some burly blacksmith or fat-faced innkeep, fill his house with children, and never need to fear that some knight might come along to smash their heads against a wall." [JAIME I, ADWD]

Here, Hoster inadvertently tests Jaime’s resolve in the Lannister cause, and Jaime parrots obligingly, invoking his father’s darkest deeds as a reminder of what House Lannister is capable of. As Tywin’s heir, Jaime, is aware that he owes his audience a performance.

Yet what is coming out of Jaime’s mouth runs laughably counter to his own feelings and actions. He does not agree with his father’s methodry: the memory of Rhaenys’ and Aegon’s bloody bodies is clearly traumatic, and something Jaime has repeatedly wished he had prevented. And he has of course sent Brienne to rescue Sansa; in doing so, he may well have sown the seeds of the next Stark uprising himself, a consequence that could directly threaten his own family. This goes to prove how complex and contradictory Jaime’s objectives have become. He is attempting to preserve the security of both the Starks and the Lannisters, whilst struggling to avoid handing either side victory over the other.

Jaime cannot make that struggle apparent to his audience, however, and so he says the words for Hoster: it is important Hoster believes them - that everyone does - yet once again, words are all Jaime has offered.

HALF MEASURES

Jaime’s sole ADWD chapter offers the best framework to unpack one of the most discussed episodes of Jaime’s Riverlands arc, and that is: Jaime’s threat to fling a baby over a castle wall.

"You've seen our numbers, Edmure. You've seen the ladders, the towers, the trebuchets, the rams. If I speak the command, my coz will bridge your moat and break your gate. Hundreds will die, most of them your own. Your former bannermen will make up the first wave of attackers, so you'll start your day by killing the fathers and brothers of men who died for you at the Twins. The second wave will be Freys, I have no lack of those. My westermen will follow when your archers are short of arrows and your knights so weary they can hardly lift their blades. When the castle falls, all those inside will be put to the sword. Your herds will be butchered, your godswood will be felled, your keeps and towers will burn. I'll pull your walls down, and divert the Tumblestone over the ruins. By the time I'm done no man will ever know that a castle once stood here." Jaime got to his feet. "Your wife may whelp before that. You'll want your child, I expect. I'll send him to you when he's born. With a trebuchet." [JAIME VI, AFFC]

As already mentioned, bluffs have been Jaime’s sole currency against the Tullys so far. The trouble is that he has entered an arena where bluffs have already been used to ill effect: the Freys have practically numbed Brynden Tully and his garrison to Edmure’s death, by threatening to do kill the man daily and failing follow through: this has led Brynden to frame his retaliation under the supposition that his nephew is as good as dead already. The best thing Jaime could do to assert his status over the Freys and dominance over the Tullys is demonstrate that he is a man of action, and will kill Edmure - but the action required is precisely that which he is not willing to take.

So Jaime enters this conflict with a bluff of his own, this time pointed at both the Freys and Edmure, as it’s necessary for both parties to believe he means what he says. Having covertly directed Ser Ilyn Payne to bluff, Jaime fools even the reader for a moment into believing that he meant to have Edmure’s head off:

The ferry had just started across with Walder Rivers and Edwyn Frey when Jaime and his men arrived at the river. As they awaited its return, Jaime told them what he wanted. Ser Ilyn spat into the river. [...] The sight of Ser Ilyn widened [Edmure’s] eyes. "Better a sword than a rope. Do it, Payne." "Ser Ilyn," said Jaime. "You heard Lord Tully. Do it." [...] "No! Stop. NO!" Edwyn Frey came panting into view. [JAIME VI, AFFC]

It’s here apparent that Ilyn Payne has been instructed to sever the rope suspending Edmure, making it seem to Edmure and onlookers that he means for Ilyn to behead the man. Jaime knows that Edwyn Frey will intervene before this can take place, but Edmure, who already bought into Jaime’s Kingslayer persona, has now had it reified by Jaime’s apparent resolve to behead him there and then. This lays the foundations for Jaime’s subsequent negotiations with Edmure: whilst treating with Brynden Tully, a man with nothing to lose, was a worthless pursuit… convincing Edmure, with everything to lose, holds more promise, and Jaime has now primed him to accept the carrot and fear the invisible stick.

Many readers do not regard Jaime’s villainous monologue to Edmure as any kind of bluff, but rather a promise that demonstrates that even if he isn’t Tywin’s ‘true’ heir, he’s capable of the same cruelties. However, we’ve now established that bluffs have become the currency at Riverrun, and are an especially vital currency to Jaime, a man who is determined to take no decisive action for the sake of his oath. His sole objective is to get Edmure to surrender peacefully, and violent words are his oddly pacifist method.

It is also worth observing the improvised nature of the threat. Jaime mentions trebuchets specifically because they are trademark of Tywin’s from his feuds with the Reynes and the Tarbecks - as is drowning castles so that no-one would know they ever stood. The whole threat is heavy on Tywinian rhetoric, promising violent extremes that are atypical of Jaime’s own approach in war - but of course, they go the extra mile in pushing Edmure over the edge. Edmure knows what the Lannisters are capable of, and that is enough to frighten him into acquiescence before he begins to wonder what Jaime himself is capable of.

Following Edmure’s surrender, Jaime self-consciously notes to himself his cynical invocation of Tywin’s trademarks, humorlessly marvelling at what came out of his mouth:

‘With a trebuchet,’ Jaime thought. If his aunt had been there, would she still say Tyrion was Tywin’s son? [JAIME VI, AFFC]

And of course, we see again here what has been on Jaime’s mind the whole time. Genna has told him she doesn’t believe he can protect their family, because he is no second coming of Tywin Lannister. Jaime is desperate to prove otherwise, whilst simultaneously desperate not to - and so, in thinking to himself that he has proved Genna wrong, Jaime has ironically proved her right: he is not willing to take decisive action, offering only words to suggest he could.

Finally, there is a telling passage that precedes Jaime’s threat, suggesting the extent to which just saying the words pains Jaime:

Must you make me say the words? Pia was standing by the flap of the tent with her arms full of clothes. His squires were listening as well, and the singer. Let them hear, Jaime thought. Let the world hear. It makes no matter. He forced himself to smile. [JAIME VI, AFFC]

Jaime has built rapport with Pia and his squires over the course of AFFC - he gets to know them as people, they get to know him, and Jaime is a different person for them than he has been in the minds of those back at King’s Landing - he is a saviour to Pia, and a mentor for his squires. They are at the inception of the man Jaime wants to become for the rest of Westeros - someone honourable, and worthy of their respect.

However, Tywin Lannister was not such a man - he was a man to be feared, and to sustain the Lannister regime, his heir must be feared as well. Jaime asks himself, ‘Must [Edmure] make me say the words?’, belying the fact that he had hoped to leave the threat implicit, offering Edmure a hand to his feet without having to show him the back of it. He is conscious of Pia and his squires listening, and how these words will impact their opinion of him; how the words will get out of the tent, and impact everyone’s opinion of him.

But Jaime resolves: “Let them hear. Let the world hear. It makes no matter.” It’s apparent that it does matter to Jaime; he does not want to be a man feared and despised. Nonetheless, there is a futility in these lines. He lost the respect of Westeros long ago, and will not regain it in acting as Tywin’s heir. ‘Goldenhand the Just’ is a fantasy, and revealing his true motives to the world would be dangerous. He has to maintain his performance as Tywin’s heir for the sake of his family, and if that’s all the world will ever know of him… here, Jaime is telling himself to suck it up. “He forced himself to smile.”

The threat serves its purpose in the short-term, however. As much as Edmure hates Jaime for the words, it’s likely he requires them before he can sign Riverrun away to the Lannisters. Edmure needs to know the price of the carrot, cannot take it without asking. The price tells Edmure he’s making the right decision for everyone, albeit a bitter, humiliating one that reeks of injustice. Yet to refuse the carrot would be to surrender his family and people to something worse than injustice: in short Edmure needs to believe he’s saving his family from something. Jaime gives him that.

THE PEACE

Of course, the greatest trouble for the Lannisters is that Jaime’s measures will not maintain the peace in his absence. Jaime did not take up arms against the Tullys, and so Brynden has escaped. In all likelihood, Edmure and his pregnant wife will shortly do the same - they travel with Jeyne Westerling to Casterly Rock, a character GRRM has told us will feature in TWOW’s prologue. It seems a foregone conclusion that that prologue will see an interruption to the hostages’ journey to the Rock, perhaps one orchestrated by Brynden Tully.

It hardly helps that Jaime has even released a number of Tully men after having them swear an oath after the fashion of his own to Cat:

Lady Genna suggested that a few of the men might be put to the question. He refused. "I gave Edmure my word that if he yielded, the garrison could leave unharmed." "That was chivalrous of you," his aunt said, "but it's strength that's needed here, not chivalry." [...] The Tully garrison departed the next morning, stripped of all their arms and armour. Each man was allowed three days' food and the clothing on his back, after he swore a solemn oath never to take up arms against Lord Emmon or House Lannister. "If you're fortunate, one man in ten may keep that vow," Lady Genna said. [JAIME VII, AFFC]

As we see, Genna does not regard Jaime’s measures as stringent enough for their ends, and she may well be right - the Lannisters’ pit of violence has grown too deep for the family to sustain themselves through pacifism now. But ultimately, these chapters serve to show that Jaime is not willing to consider the alternative: whatever method his family requires to survive, he is demonstrably not the character to implement it.

Needless to say, it seems pointless to argue that there aren’t clear ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ in the Riverlands conflict - because even if there were, Jaime’s desire to protect his family is a sympathetic one. His attempts to do this solely through rhetoric are understandable, even laudable. And the fact that he has ultimately failed has a level of tragedy to it: we root for the Tullys and their return to Riverrun, and the downfall of the Lannister regime, but there is still a human cost associated.

The coming of Red Wedding 2.0 is another foregone conclusion, but from the groundwork laid in AFFC and ADWD, it seems clear that GRRM will not intend it as a triumphant event: it was gruesome and cruel the first time, with many innocent lives lost in the crossfire - it can only be so different the second.

As readers, we want Jaime to move beyond the Lannister cause to higher ideals, and in ADWD he has. But GRRM does not intend that this should be an easy path to take. Jaime’s loved ones remain embroiled in this conflict, and fighting for or favouring the other side has implications for all of them. Abandoning the Lannister cause is necessarily difficult, and there will be consequences for doing so.

NEXT PART: A Reckoning in the Riverlands!!! this won't be quick but i hope it won't be a fucking year

#jaime lannister #asoiaf

148 notes · View notes

risuola · 1 year ago

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Hi!!!!

I dunno the correct process for making a request but here goes!! I LOVE YOUR STUFF I HAVE BEEN BLESSED.

Smut for Nanami Kento, any AU, fem reader, with 58, 81 and 85 as prompts!!

Thank you so much and have a lovely day!!

WINE STAINS

WINE STAINS — F. READER x NANAMI KENTO

As time passed, you noticed Kento became more and more distant. You loved him, oh so much, and you wanted to give him freedom. Six months after you broke up with him, he's standing at your doorstep.

cw: smut, possible spoilers? – most likely inaccuracies in the timeline, unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), clit play, bits of angst, alcohol and meds usage briefly mentioned, minor injury + blood mentioned, violence mentioned, reader discretion is advised — 4,3k words

PROMPTS: 58. I miss doing nothing with you. 81. You think that this is easy for me? 85. I think I’ve lost my mind.

a/n: thank you! 🩶 it turned out to be a little long, but what can I say... I like writing long. anyway, hope you like it!

There was a time in your life when you felt like the luckiest woman in the whole universe. Every single one of your days was overflowing with happiness and gratitude, as if you were high on all the love you held in your heart. Two years of this feeling made you lost in the dream; the sun was brighter then, the birds were singing more vibrantly, and the long summer nights seemed to never end as you spent each and every one of them in the embrace of Nanami Kento. He was a man written by a woman – kind and gentle, but with a roughness hidden inside the breathtaking shell of attractiveness. His voice could make any woman's knees buckle, and you were lucky enough to fall asleep and wake up to that alluring tone. Those two years have made you blind.

A year ago, things began to change, but you didn't notice how Kento began to seek some personal space, distancing himself from your ever-loving embrace. He started working overtime, which he hated more than anything else, but you had no reason not to believe him when he told you time after time that he had to stay at the office for extra hours. Then he would often be tired, prying from your touch, and the long, passionate kisses would turn into quick pecks on the cheek. Countless nights you spent looking at the empty space in the bed, crying silently while Nanami slept on the couch. Cold pillows and unscathed covers made you realize that he didn't love you anymore, and it was already too late.

July 3rd, 2022 Exactly six months ago, you welcomed Nanami home for the last time, with all your things already moved out of the apartment that had been the source of your happiness. "What is it?" he asked then, looking around the empty spaces that had once been filled with memories, and you took his face into your cold, trembling hands. "Today is your birthday, my love," you began, doing everything not to crumble to pieces, "I want to give you back your freedom." He answered with silence, which you took as acceptance. "You have dinner in the kitchen, please eat well. I left you a small gift as well. Take care of yourself, be happy, okay?" you smiled, but your eyes betrayed you as tears gathered along your lash line, but you blinked them away and exhaled, your breath quivering and your heart drumming in your chest so hard you thought it would burst through your ribcage. "I think I've taken everything that's mine. All I'm leaving is my love."

Standing on your tippy toes, you kissed Nanami's lips for the last time, smoothed the soft skin of his cheeks and inhaled his musky scent for the last time. All of it was your last with him. The last goodbye you whispered against his mouth as a tear rolled down your cheek, and then you left the apartment. You remember how his hand slid down your arm as you walked past him, but he didn't stop you. Your fingertips brushed against his, but he didn't try to grab you. You made it through the Uber ride, even exchanging a few forced jokes with the driver, but when the doors to your new apartment closed behind you, you broke down. First night you spent on the floor, crying yourself to exhaustion in the cold emptiness.

January 3rd, 2023 Today, on the six-month anniversary of the worst day of your life, you look up at the sky and smile softly as the lone tear rolls down your cold-flushed cheek. Holding onto the paper cup filled with hot coffee, you can't help but wonder if he's happier now. People say time flies, but for you, the last few months have been torturous as you spent day after day trying to numb yourself with busy life, alcohol, and dulling meds. Nothing really seemed to help, no matter what you did or swallowed, nothing was able to free you from the heartache, as if the eternal love you had for Nanami had become one with your soul. So you stopped searching for a way to heal by force and allowed yourself to go through it, with all the sleepless nights, used tissues and missed meals.

Now, as you sit on the bench in the crowded park, you look out at the people rushing through the January coldness, and when your eyes land on a couple so lovely and affectionate, your mind wanders back into the memories. Many cold days, just like this one, you spent with Nanami, shamelessly stealing his warmth and hiding in the safe embrace of his strong arms. Those days were your favorite, the low temperatures gave you more reasons to never part from him, and he always made sure you stayed warm. He was so gentle with you, carrying you like a princess and holding your hands with care as he planted endless kisses all over your reddened cheeks and knuckles. Today, on the third day of the new year, you sit alone, the only source of heat being the coffee, which is now more lukewarm than anything else.

Exhaling, you finish your drink and stand up, throwing away the empty cup and entering the crowded alleys, moving forward with no destination, taking in the aura of Tokyo before leaving for good. It's been a few weeks since you decided to move somewhere else in the world, somewhere far away from where everything reminds you of how happy you used to be, but it's only now that you've finally found the strength to book tickets. With them printed in your apartment, you felt a little lighter, knowing that you're about to start a new chapter, one that will hopefully be brighter and happier. With new streets you've never walked through, with new people you've never talked to, with new cafes, new bakeries, new lakes and parks. You hoped to leave the sadness behind and start living again, not just pretending to be alive, but could you really do that anywhere in the world, when the sky and the stars and the moon and the sun that witnessed all the love you shared with Kento remain the same?

January 7th, 2023 Last night in your apartment, you sit down in the empty space, next to the few boxes that are left and yet to be taken by your father to be stored in their house and later shipped to your new home. One night is all that separates you from the anxiety-driving mixture of airports, flights, and a new life you've put so much hope into. One more night, and maybe you'll be able to find sparks of happiness again. Maybe the unknown will take up enough of your headspace that you'll start appreciating what you have instead of mourning what you've lost. Maybe.

"Cheers to new life," you mutter to yourself as you raise a half-full glass of cheap red wine into the air and take a sip. The unpleasant, tart taste twists your features for a second and you exhale deeply. "Fucking new life, my ass."

As the glass shatters against the wall where you just threw it, you groan to the heavens and despite all intentions to leave it as it is, you get up, grab a cloth and a bag and kneel down to pick up all the pieces and clean the red puddle from the wood before it stains it permanently. It gets tiring quickly, you don't have anything to sweep the floor with, you don't even have a bowl to rinse the cloth in, and as you shuffle between the living room and the kitchen, you make more mess than it's worth.

With a soft groan, you toss the cloth into the sink when you hear a knock at the door. Neighbors, you think. They probably heard the sound of breaking glass and were disturbed, just as they have been bothered by every little sound during the six months you have lived there.

There were so many things that Nanami wanted and needed to tell you, and yet nothing came to his mind when he thought about how to even start the conversation. As he stood in an empty hallway looking at your doors, he wondered if you’d even open them. Maybe you'll know it's him, maybe you'll recognize the way he knocked, or you'll look through the peephole and just pretend you're not home. But the door opened, with an almost angry swing, and when he looked down at you, his heart stopped at the sight.

You were there, wearing a large, black t-shirt that had most likely been his own many months ago, but what Nanami immediately noticed were the bright red stains all over your hands, a few traces on your legs and even on your cheek. His mind went blank at the bloody image, his heart sank and all he could focus on was that you were hurt.

"What happened?" he asks immediately, reaching for your hands to examine them, but you pull them away taking a step back.

"Kento?" you mouth, no voice leaving your throat as you stare at the all-too-familiar frame at your doorstep. Of all people, he was the last one you wanted to see that night, right before leaving. All hope shattered as you realized just by seeing him that you'll never be able to get over him, no matter where you try to run away, he'll always be a part of your soul, he'll always have a part of your heart. "What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk? I know you're leaving tomorrow," he says, and you immediately ask, "Who told you?"

"Your friend. Listen, there are things I have to tell you, I have to explain what happened."

"Kento... why are you making this so hard for me?" you sigh, your voice almost a whisper as you let him in by stepping aside. "I have a flight tomorrow; I should rest now."

“You think that this is easy for me? That losing you was easy for me?" his voice flares up for a moment before he forces it back down. "Please, just let me explain, then you can do whatever you want."

"Alright," you nod, noticing that his eyes once again landing on your covered in red hands. "It's wine. I spilled it."

"You're bleeding."

"It's wine, I'm telling you..." you try to argue, but he grabs your hand and it’s only now that you realize that you are, in fact, bleeding. A few shards of glass are embedded in your flesh, ruby streaks mixing with wine stains, but you don't even feel it and for a moment it scares you how much you desensitized yourself to pain.

“Let me,” Nanami pulls you gently towards the kitchen, where he makes you sit on the chair as he kneels down in front of you, beginning to pull the pieces out with chapsticks – the only thing that you had left in the kitchen to later have some instant ramen.

“I don’t understand why would you come here, Kento. It’s been half a year.”

“I know. But I can’t just let you leave like that.”

“I have everything set up already, I have a flight-ticket, a house and work arranged. Tomorrow I’ll be homeless in Japan.”

“You have a home, don’t act like you don’t know where it is.”

You shake your head at his words, sighing and looking away as he works on picking up the shards from your palm. He caresses you gently whist he cleans your wounds and you feel like you're burning from every place he's touching you. It hurts physically to feel his fingers holding you so tenderly and you can feel the tears already gathering in your eyes. He is your home and the thought of leaving him is suffocating you. It began killing you the day you left on his birthday, and you don't even know how you managed to push through those six months.

“Nanami… All I ever wanted for you is to be happy.”

“Do I look happy to you?”, he lifts his eyes to yours, and all you can see is devastating loneliness that lingers inside his brown irises. In the dim light of your kitchen, you can see his darkened undereyes and the tiredness painted across his features. “Y/n, please, just listen to me.”

“Okay.”

As Nanami’s finished with your hand, he wraps his tie around it, the one that you’ve always jokingly called atrocious and he’s unbothered by ruining it. He stays on his knees, enclosing both of your palms inside his own, much bigger and as you feel him, you could swear his fingers are trembling.

“I lied to you. Over a year ago I left my office job,” he began and already you were confused, but he stopped you from speaking up. “I’ve always been… different. There are things in this world that are called curses. Spiritual beings manifested from cursed energy, a result of negative emotions that flow out of humans. They are harmful to society; they are violently taking lives. Regular people can’t see them, you most likely can’t see them as well, but there are those who call themselves jujutsu sorcerers. They see curses, fight them, exorcise.”

“Are you one of them?”

“I am. I studied at Jujutsu high here in Tokyo, but after losing my classmate I left and tried to live a normal life as a salesman. Wanted to earn enough money to retire at 40 and then have a peaceful life in some kind of paradise. But I hated the office more than I hated sorcery so one year ago I got back to fighting curses. Then I began distancing myself from you. Every time you asked so sweetly how was my day, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that I just got home from the bloody murder scene. I thought it’s better for you to not know all of that, I wanted to keep you safe. It also felt wrong to lay down in bed with you, to touch or kiss you when just hour before, my hands were red. I couldn’t sleep with you when my body was bruised and I had no idea how to explain this to you.”

You stayed silent, taking in his words, watching his expression change from shame to guilt, through sadness and lost.

“When you had told me you’re leaving, I thought it might be better for you to find someone else. That you’ll be safer with someone else. The thought of you getting hurt by a curse because of me terrified me.”

“Wouldn’t I be safer if a sorcerer was there with me…?”, you ask and he exhales.

“Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. I’m sorry, y/n,” Nanami lowers his head, planting a kiss on top of your knuckles. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me. I miss you, I miss doing nothing with you, I miss everything. I should have never let you go; you are the sun in my life, without you I feel like I live in darkness.”

“I don’t understand much of what you just said to me, Kento,” you admit, sighing and releasing one of your hands from his hold only to cup his face and he leans into your touch immediately. “about the curses, I guess I’m just a regular person, but I love you with every fiber of my existence, no matter if you’re a normie, a sorcerer or whatever else.”

You feel him deflate, like the tension left his body the second you said you still love him and you can’t help but smile softly while smoothing over his cheekbone. So many months you dreamt about touching him once again, feeling his supple skin underneath your fingertips and taste his lips. You longed for him, for everything Nanami Kento was and now you were finally able to have him back.

“I love you just as much,” he mutters against the pulse on your wrist, kissing the delicate skin tenderly. “Please, come home with me. Come back to our home.”

“If you promise me that you won’t hide things like this from me. I might not understand any of this, but if what you’re doing is that emotionally wrenching, I want to be the safe space you can come home to,” you coo, tears washing over your eyes and you fall down to your knees, bones hitting the cold tiles painfully but you don’t care, as you cup his face in your palms. Unable to wait any more second, you press your lips onto his, gently at first, but when he molds his own against yours instantaneously, you lose it.

All you can feel in your body is want, you need him now, there. You need him closer, on you, inside you. You want to taste him, feel him, breathe him in, and that's all you've wanted for the last six months, constantly trying to convince yourself that it will pass.

"Need you to fuck me," you mumble against his mouth, pushing him to sit back as you climb onto his lap.

"God, I want nothing more," he whispers, his huge palms already on your butt, squeezing the tender flesh, and you can't hold back a smile as a breathy groan escapes his throat when you roll your hips, running your pussy precisely over his bulging crotch. The rough fabric of his pants pushes easily through the thin, dotted cotton of your panties, making you gasp as it teases your clit. "Fuck you and take you home."

"Please do," you almost cry as his long fingers slip underneath your underwear, landing directly over the sensitive bud, only to slide lower along your folds, collecting the slick and he smirks at how wet and needy you are for him. Another crashing kiss takes your breath away and you squeeze his shoulders to keep yourself from dizziness. All of your thoughts are kissed away, leaving your mind focused only on the man beneath you, and you reach down, quickly, almost impatiently, undoing the belt, button and zipper of his pants. You're burning with anticipation and lust, already intoxicated by the taste of his lips and the way his tongue dances with yours.

Cold air hits Nanami's cock as you pull him out of the restrictive cage of his boxers, and he purrs into your mouth as you wrap your dainty fingers around his fat girth, pumping him even harder than he already is. Unable to focus on anything but the pleasure of your cold palm stroking his length, he pulls away from the kiss and uses his one free hand to pull up your blouse and you obey, letting go of his dick just for a second to undress. He lifts you up with ease to remove your panties as well, and as you sit back on his lap, completely bare and so beautiful, he takes a second to admire the view. The dim kitchen lights give you a blurry aura, your figure lit from behind, with only reflections sparkling in your eyes and bouncing off the curves of your front.

"You are so divine," he breathes out, his rough palms running over your naked form and you chuckle at the act of worship. It's always been like this – every time Nanami would see you naked, he'd act as if you were the most beautiful sight in the world and he was seeing you for the first time.

"And I am yours," you grin, kissing his lips passionately as you roll your hips so that the underside of his stiff shaft strokes between your wet folds. Your juices rub over him as you swallow a grunt that rumbles in his throat as you tease him.

Done with your games, Kento takes you by the hips and you surrender to the strength he holds you with as he aims the angry, leaking head at your entrance. You can feel him stretching your hole as you slowly lower yourself to take him completely. Panting from the mind-numbing sensation of fullness, you rest your forehead against his.

"You're making me lose my mind," he whispers, helping you move your pelvis. "No, I think I've already lost my mind."

"I love you too."

It's slow and sensual, no rush is needed where there's so much emotion. You feel one of Kento's hands all over your body; his thumb finds your clit and skillfully rolls over it, adding another layer to your pleasure and instantly making your pussy twitch and squeeze. You lower your head onto his shoulder, forcing your fingers to cooperate, you fiddle with his button-up shirt to get more access to his skin, to his toned body, but your hands shake as you moan against the side of his neck.

His name slips from your lips like a prayer and he loses composure at the feel of your walls squeezing him so delightfully. You're taking him so well, swallowing every inch, allowing his blunt head to kiss your cervix again and again as his practiced fingers roll over your swollen bundle of nerves. You pick up the pace, holding him close as you smear sloppy, wet kisses all along his collar bones.

The room spins around the two of you, every flex of your pussy leaving Nanami breathless as you whimper louder, overwhelmed by the approaching orgasm. The abuse on your clit pushes you over the edge so quickly, and he encourages you with praise and pet names. "Don't hold it, babygirl," he commands, taking in the feel of your trembling body, your arched back, your flushed cheeks, and those sweet sounds. The melody that makes him proud, that makes him never want to hear anything but your pleasured sounds and it amazes him how easily he loses his composure when he's with you.

Usually, Nanami is nothing but a stoic, reserved man, confident in his steps and never putting too much emotion into anything, but you're able to turn him into a panting mess. You can make him stutter, act irresponsibly, forget his own name. You're the one who makes him smile, you're the one who brings joy and pleasure into his life, and if it weren't for you, he might have already given up chasing happiness.

"Kento, ah-" you call his name, blissfully dazed; your voice shuddering as your words sink into his skin, your lips brush against his neck and he mumbles affirmations under his breath, feeling his cock flex and harden even more, hugged by the tight embrace of your squelching pussy. Unable to speak coherently, his head falls back against the kitchen island, breathless moans and lust driven whimpers leaving his mouth as he keeps your hips moving, helping you ride out your orgasm, feeling himself getting closer and closer to his own. His mind goes blank, an echo of your heavy pants filling his ears, and the way your long nails scratch along his biceps and chest muscles drives him completely insane.

You bite your lower lip, grounding yourself as the overstimulation gets the better of you. After such a long break from his cock, it almost feels too much, the sheer size and girth of it making you see stars.

"Let me taste you," you ask, but it comes out as a plea and he can't refuse when you ask so nicely, so he lets go of your hips. Quickly you reposition yourself to kneel between his legs and kiss your way down, moving your knees back across the cold tiles. With your ass sticking up, you lower yourself to envelop your fingers around his slick with your juices member, pumping him at the base while you add your spit to the concoction of fluids. He's already throbbing and flexing in your grasp as you take him in your mouth; your tongue swirls around the head and strokes along the length.

You lick and suck, moving your head up and down, lightly grazing his cock with your teeth. Nanami throws his head back, his hands landing on top of your head where he gathers your hair into a makeshift pony as you work your magic. The wet, warm feeling of your mouth, mixed with the skillful dance of your tongue makes him dizzy and the way he sucks in his breath above you makes you happy. You love Nanami in a state of chaos and disorder.

"So... perfect..." he mutters, words breaking as he speaks, and you take him deeper, pressing the tip of his cock against your throat, and as you hum, the vibration of your vocal cords sends him over the edge. His grip on your hair tightens, the veins around his girth bulging and you know he's so close. As you continue to deepthroat him, you pick up the pace of your hand at the base of his dick and use your other hand to massage his balls. You feel his thigh muscles flex against your shoulders and he pushes your head down as he cums. Tears roll down your cheeks from the sudden pressure on your throat, but you obey until he lets go and you can guide him through his release. Nanami's cum fills your mouth, smearing all around as you milk him dry, sucking every last drop like it's nectar, savoring it before you swallow.

Your movements slow down, you lick him few more times, gently pumping the length until he pulls you up into a tight embrace of his strong arms. You lean against his chest, his heartbeat right beneath your ear, and you close your eyes to listen to its melody. You don't know how long the two of you have been lying in silence on your kitchen floor, and frankly, you don't need to know as long as it's Nanami Kento you're with.

"Let's get cleaned up and I'll take you home," he finally says, the words pressed against the top of your head as he plants soft kisses there and all you can do is agree.

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akunya · 2 years ago

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eiiiiii the idea of getting private meeting with camboy vox HELLO. you make me suffer for good stuffs every single day 😭💦 can you spoil me a little bittttt. - 🐱

“private session.”

pairings: camboy!vox akuma x male!reader

summary: congrats, lucky winner! because of your generous donations, vox reached out wanting to thank you in person. things, however, take a turn.

tw: DRUGGING, yandere, manipulation, voice fetish. camshows, drinking, implied noncon. age gap, etc.

notes: last fic of 2022! im posting this mere minutes from midnight, so please pardon any mistakes. ill go back and edit this a bit later.

and yes, i can write a part 2 if you truly wish. sorry for cucking you guys, again..

happy new year everyone, thank you for such an amazing 2022. i hope to write much more in the future!

“im at the right place, aren’t i..?” you mumbled to yourself, frigid, clammy hands swiping your phone to make sure the location was right. the restaurant looked a bit trendy and sophisticated, somewhere you wouldn't dare step inside on your own. you and vox both agreed on a restaurant to meet at around eight o'clock. to be truly honest with yourself, you never thought you’d have the guts to do something like this — but when vox, the streamer who you’ve been watching for months daily and donating to everyday reached out to you personally, how could you say no?

nonetheless, sitting across from him at the table really made you wish you had refused.

for one, he was much too ethereal to be in your lowly presence. the camera didn’t do him justice at all — his pale skin was a nice contrast to his black hair, adorned by his signature red highlights. he even wore the red eye makeup that you loved to look at, except now, you could see his mouth and bottom half of his face, uncovered by the black mask he would usually wear. his lips looked so soft, and when his tongue darted out to lick them you were nearly going to faint. we’re those.. fangs? his canines were sharp, and you felt like a pervert for staring so intensely.

you quickly paid your respects to the other fans who would never know that vox, a niche but popular adult streamer, was a truly beautiful man in person.

you didn't even notice how silent it had gotten between the two of you. “no need to be so quiet. i don’t bite, i promise.” vox’s sweet voice snapped you out of your thoughts, apologizing profusely for zoning out so much. “you’re right! im sorry, ive just never done anything like this before..” you chuckled awkwardly, shifting in your chair while vox just smiled. he found your skittishness adorable. you reminded him of a scared little bunny — and he was the big bad wolf, ready to eat you up whole.

"what a shame. and here i was thinking you do this quite often, with how you accepted my request and all." the demon smirked at how your face flushed, becoming a stuttering mess. you should've expected it, but he was just as snarky in person as he was on his live shows. as your little meeting continued, vox realized he enjoyed your presence much more than he thought. the night was filled with friendly but interesting conversation, and for once, the demon didn’t feel forced to keep speaking.

at first, he debated on meeting with you in person. what if the person who donated nearly thousands to him each month turned out to be not as pleasant as he hoped? while the demon wouldn't be surprised, he would be a tad disappointed with all of the free shoutouts he's given to you. still, with you being his top donator for a while now, he felt compelled to show some form of graciousness. a little present, just in time for the holidays.

vox enjoyed streaming more than he thought he would. even though he could use his voice and other demonic powers for much grander, sinister things - for some reason, using them to tease and drain the wallets of his viewers was surprisingly just as satisfying. doing this, he never had to worry about getting a silly job like most humans did, letting the demon truly relax when he wasnt tampering with cameras and himself.

but, you, however - vox liked how shy and nervous you were. it awakened a sick monster inside of him, that wanted to see you cry and beg for mercy at his fingertips. he thought his days of toying with mortals was over, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) for you, you seemed to rekindle that fire in his heart. if he didn't know any better, he would've never expected you to be someone that watches adult streams online, let alone spend money on them.

taking advantage of how anxious you were, vox continued to ask questions about yourself, forcing you to blurt out answers in hopes of not screwing up. "so, what do you like about my streams, y/n?" the male swiveled the wine in his glass nonchalantly, golden eyes looking into yours, awaiting an answer. you gulped, shakily drinking yours as well.

"um, well, you're the first streamer i've ever really watched for.. that sort of stuff. i initially liked how your voice sounded, and wanted to hear more, but i ended up staying for your little stories and when you'd talk about yourself. you just seemed really nice." it was a bit embarrassing when you had said it aloud, but it was the truth. you enjoyed the moments where the demon would just ramble the most. of course, given the content of his streams, most of the things he'd speak about were so dirty it made your ears feel hot - however, there were moments where he'd just talk about his day, and you seemed to enjoy those the most.

it was vox's turn to blush, his grip tightening on the wine glass ever so slightly. how could a mere mortal make him feel so... flustered? hes had his fair share of affairs over many decades, however, never has he felt so vulnerable. the demon was expecting you to talk about his cock or something, but of course your innocent little head wouldnt do that. you should be thankful vox isn't a cannibalistic demon, or he seriously would've eaten your heart out by now.

therefore, the man didnt feel any remorse when you went to the bathroom and he slipped a drug into your drink while you were away.

it wasnt his fault - how was he supposed to let you go after today? someone as sinless and pure as yourself needed to be his. vox wouldnt be content with letting you go back to being another viewer behind the screen, not after your little meeting. the demon knew truly that you probably wouldn't refuse going home with him, but that also didnt guarantee you'd accept his offer. he considered the drug just a bit of a push in the right direction, if you will.

"sorry for taking so long. there was a line outside, so.." your voice trailed off, going back to your seat as the older man simply chuckled. why did you feel the need to explain yourself? it didn't matter how long you took, even if you tried to run now, vox would surely find you. pouring some more wine for himself, he filled his glass a bit more to match yours. you tried to tell him you weren't too keen or interested in alcohol at the beginning of your little date, but the demon wouldn't take no for an answer. "y/n, lets have a toast, shall we?" his held up his glass expectantly towards you, waiting for you to clink the rim with your own.

you hesitated for a moment. the smell of wine never enticed you, but seeing vox wait earnestly made your heart flutter. one glass shouldn't hurt, right?

you simply nodded, the familiar clank of glass against glass being shared between you two before drinking. you drank a majority of the wine, only leaving a small amount left. "good boy. its good, isnt it?" you nearly sputtered the drink back up from the praise, nodding again and drinking the rest in one gulp. it was much different hearing his words of affirmation in person. it felt addicting, unreal.

"thats it. a toast for the new year, my boy. im excited for the memories we shall make together. aren't you?" oh, did vox mean his streams? of course you looked forward to those, how could you not! he was the highlight of your day, making you smile and laugh. "mhm! im excited. im looking forward to your streams, vox." the demon felt a shiver roll down his spine, suppressing a groan. he could get used to you saying his name. he wanted to hear you say it in other ways, too.

"i hope we can get more.. personal, as well, y/n. it was truly delightful being here with you." the man had such a way with words, making you swoon. was he this nice with everyone? no wonder he had so many followers! while you didnt know the true extent to what he had implied, you agreed, telling him that you were happy you came out today.

of course you were. you were his little rabbit, frail and gullible, unknowing of the big bad wolf sitting across from your very table. he truly wondered just how oblivious you could be, but much to his delight, he'd find out soon enough. your eyes started to feel heavy, zoning out while he talked about random things to keep you occupied.

"goodness, y/n, are you alright? you look a bit pale. here, let me take you back to my place. i don't live far at all." his voice was sickeningly sweet, how could you deny his offer? you nodded drowsily, letting the man hold you to steady your balance.

the cold air of the outdoors didnt phase you, and neither did it bother vox. peering at your sleeping face, he smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your forehead.

"happy new years, y/n. lets have fun together." vox whispered in your ear, turning the corner towards his apartment.

#my askbox..#male reader #mlm blog #male reader blog #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en x reader #my fics..#🐱 anon #luxiem x reader #vox akuma x m!reader #vox akuma x male reader #yandere vox akuma #vox akuma #vox akuma x reader #luxiem x y/n #luxiem x m!reader #luxiem x male reader

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bartxnhood · 2 years ago

Text

another life | c.b

colby brock x fem!ghost!reader

summary: on a certain investigation, colby finds himself oddly intrigued by the mystery surrounding your passing. so, he tries his best to help you move on.

warnings: sadness, angst, murder, bittersweet ending.

a/n: hi loves ! long time no see ! i haven’t been writing like i usually do, to lack of inspiration and motivation. i hope this can make up for it. also my first time writing for colby, so i hope i did okay ! if you’d like to see more let me know !! also this was slightly inspired by corpse bride especially the scene at the end. iykyk. enjoy <3 feedback is appreciated !

requests open

not proofread

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the thought of the idea of something after life always intrigued you. what happened to someone after passing? or did your life begin again after death? but after passing, you were hit with the reality that you’d be bound to the house you died in; and living the same thing almost every single time.

after a couple years the constant investigation it was getting very annoying. at first, you’d interact the best you could but when they’d take it too far and taunt you, you’d slowly begin to stop giving them what they want. they’d always seem to be disappointed and often left not believing. you’ve come to understand the why humans think, trying to prove the existence of the after life. you know if someone truly believed they wouldn’t be so aggressive.

no one had toured the house in what felt like a long time. on one night in particular you heard commotion outside, so, you peeked out the curtains seeing a group of people, around your age. they all took a step back and panned what you had come to recognize as a camera towards the house. your eyes caught a blonde girl as she scanned the windows but her eyes landed on you.

as the sam panned the camera on the victorian era home, amanda noticed you. her eyes locking with yours before you vanished into the blackness behind you. she thought about mentioning your presence but she decided to wait until they were inside.

they were greeted with a guild which you were also familiar with. they had stopped in first two rooms downstairs before coming up to the third floor.

the guide lead them up the spiral staircase into the mist anticipated room of the night. your bedroom.

“now, you may notice the energy shifting in this room, it’s much darker and heavier.” she started “the mystery surrounding y/ns death is still pretty much unsolved” she stood at the foot of your bed. “people suspect she died of a broken heart, but there is also a theory that she was murdered by her sister to get with her fiancé” you stood in the corner behind her, she stepped to the side showing a photograph of the man. sam zoomed in on the photo while the guide continued to give misleading details about your story. “most people don’t believe this story to be true as there is no evidence of a murder happening. so, we may never know.”

amanda pipes up, “is she known to be active?.” the guide shakes her head, “when we first opened for investigations she was our most popular ghost and was the most active one but eventually she just stopped. so, people would often leave disappointed. some people would try to taunt her, but it only made her not want to interact anymore.”

the group nodded. “y/n, if you’re here we want you to know we aren’t here to harm you, we’d love to talk to you more tonight if you’re down.” colby said, looking around the room, hoping you’d be listening. “lets check out the rest of the house shall we?” sam asked and they all nodded.

you watched as the group returned to your bedroom, setting up the camera before going over their last investigation.

“the energy is so different from the rest of the house.” nate started, filing in behind the blonde boy. “i feel just this heaviness on my chest. like i could cry” he added. colby nodded in agreement, “yeah, i feel like that earlier. it’s very overwhelming.”

if you still had a heart you knew it would ache, watching colby, the taller and darker headed man walk around in your bedroom admiring what used to be yours. you watched the man who reminded you of the man who you once loved with all of your heart.

“the guide said everything here is all original to y/n, correct?” sam nodded, reaching into his bag for the two flashlights. “yes, everything here is the same as it was when she was alive.”

your felt especially sad, spectating these people in your area, saying everything they could but you were still stuck in silence.

you knew the blonde girl could see you but it had been so long since someone could see you, you were afraid. ironically. “she’s sad”

amanda stood across from you, “she wants to communicate with us but doesn’t know how. she feels lonely.”

“so these are flashlights, i will sit these on the dresser and basically you can use your energy to turn these on and off for yes and no.”

you moved from your bed to the dresser and tried out the flashlight. it took a few seconds but you eventually got it on, it took more energy than you thought. “she’s here!” nate chirped.

“y/n if this is you can you turn off the flashlight?” sam asked, you began dimming the light and eventually it turned off. “y/n, you’re free to use our energy if it helps you communicate.”

once again, you turn the flashlight on again, but a tad quicker this time. colby grins, “this is crazy. okay, y/n. i’m colby, this sam, nate, and that’s amanda.” he introduced everyone. “we want you to know we don’t want to force you or push you into anything. we just want to know who you were.” the one you came to know as nate said.

“how about we move to the bed?” nate added, for a change of pace.

now colby was lying on what was previously your bed and carefully you laid next to him. “holy shit dude” he looked at nagw. “what?” sam said, who was filming. “swear to god i just felt the side of the bed dip like she is laying next to me” “holy shit, for real?” he asked, couldn’t nodded. “yes.” he then paused, “y/n are you laying next to colby?” the four looked at the flashlights now on the bedside table.

you turned it on. then off

“y/n, would you like to talk to us?”

you turned it back on signaling you wanted to talk more

“okay, we’re going to pull out a spirit box and you can talk through it using the channels.”

“hi” you started the session with. finally feeling relieved being able to finally talk.

nate asked “y/n, are you lonely?”

“yes” “very”

“do you miss interaction?”

“of course.”

“y/n, how do you feel about us being here?” amanda questioned.

“happy.” “comfort”

“do you mean you feel comforted?”

“yes.”

“y/n, did you die from a broken heart?”

it fell silent for a few seconds, you begin reliving that night. “no.” you answered.

“we’re you murdered by your sister?”

“yes.”

sam and nate shared glances them looked back at colby.

“we’re sorry that happened, y/n. you seem like you were very sweet and to be surrounded by all of this sadness is very overwhelming. i cant imagine how you must feel.” amanda could feel the pain radiating from your energy.

“thank you, amanda.” you said, knowing if you could you would be crying.

“are you trapped here?” sam stood up from behind nate.

“i don’t know”

“have you tried leaving?”

“no”

nate hummed, “maybe she feels the need to stay here, like it’s her duty? she doesn’t have anyone waiting for her so maybe she just needs the okay for her to move on” he conspired, the rest hummed in agreement. “that could be a big possibility” colby says.

“yes” you answered from the spirit box, they all shot up to look at each other “yes!” sam repeated your answer throwing his hands onto his head. “wow, that’s a lot” nate added, laughing after.

“amanda and nate, do you guys wanna take the basement? i’ll take the second floor and colby can stay here?” sam suggested and everyone else agreed.

the rest of the group left, leaving you alone with colby and a few pieces of equipment.

“y/n, looks like it’s just us.” he announced, closing he door.

the flashlights were left on the bedsides and he walked over to your bed. “is it okay if it sit on your bed?” you turned on the flashlight closer to him, answering his question. he sat down and laid the spirit box next to him letting it run through channels. you suddenly came through the box “hi. colby.”

“hi, y/n” he smiled, glancing to the camera to make sure it was still recording. “i know you like to touch people, so feel free to touch me or use my energy if you want to talk more. we aren’t here to harm you.”

you smiled, answering. “thank you.” you carefully sat next to him, not wanting to startle him like last time. but, he still noticed. “holy shit. i just felt the bed sink next to me.” he talked to the camera, he took a deep breathe calming himself. “this is insane” he added. there was a few seconds of silence. you took this opportunity to finally to physical interaction. hesitating, you rested your hand on his which was laying on his knee.

colby froze, a huge wave of emotions flooded his mind. his heart began to ache feeling your sadness. his hand was ice cold, “is this you, y/n? are you touching my hand?” for just a moment, if he had closed his eyes and focused enough, he could picture you sitting next to him. though you didn’t answer, you only sat there still holding his hand.

“this is insane guys. i’ve never feel like this before” the camera, which was in his other hand was now panning to his hand. “my hand is freezing. i feel so many emotions right now.” he said, taking in a deep breath. “i’ve never felt like this before” he explained. you admired him, his kind soul, his gentle presence and peace of mind. “thank you, colby” you used the last bit of your energy you had so he could hear your voice.

he shot up from the bed and dropped the camera on the nightstand. “oh my fucking god” he mumbled, now pacing back and forth. “guys i don’t know if the camera caught that but i swear to god i just heard a voice” he ran his hands through his hair, feeling tears welling in his eyes. “holy shit guys.” he walked back and picked up the camera, documenting his tears. “that’s insane.”

you kind of felt bad, not expecting someone to cry so suddenly. “i’m sorry” you spoke from the spirit box. “no, no don’t be sorry. that was amazing. thank you for that y/n.”

the sound of an alarm went off and colby checked his phone which meant the group would return to colby.

colby was still emotional when the rest of the group returned, sam was the first one to see him. “dude? what happened?!” he asked. “you’re never going to believe this sam”. colby started but didn’t tell the story until amanda and nate came back.

colby turned the camera off before rewinding to the part you spoke in and there it was, clear as day. your voice. something you hadn’t heard in many years. “dude!” “bro!” “oh my god!” the othe three exclaimed. “that’s actually insane, colby. no wonder you’re tore up” amanda added.

“i’ve never felt like this before. just the pure wave of hurt, pain, loneliness, and sadness is just overwhelming. i cant even put into words how it made me feel. and after i heard her voice, knowing she is here is just so insane. that was an amazing experience”. sam agreed, keeping focus on colby as he spoke.

colby added “so, thank you, y/n for talking with us and sharing your story. you seem to be a wonderful soul and you deserve so much more than being trapped in this house. i want you to know that it’s okay to move on now, you can be at peace. the world will know your story now.” he wiped his eyes, now coming down from the overwhelming emotions.

you smiled, standing in front of the group. the sudden feeling of warmth and comfort surrounded your spirit. turned you head to look at amanda, “thank you”. you closed your eyes.

“she said thank you.” the blonde said, she also now felt emotional watching you find peace.

closing your eyes you fell your body being surrounded by light, and your soul was now at peace. you were able to move on now, all thanks to colby.

#colby brock #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x reader #colby brock x you #colby brock imagine #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fic #colby brock fluff #colby brock angst

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wosowrites · 2 years ago

Text

Another Kid (Magda and Pernille x young!reader)

warnings: alcoholism, throwing up

a/n: based off this request here

prompt: the reader didn’t grow up in a good family and struggled to ask for help, so pernille and magda make sure she knows she is at home with chelsea

You weren’t super tall, maybe 5,6…5,7 on a good day you liked to say. But man, you were intimidating. You never hurt anyone, but your tackles came in full force, your glares would make a player on the opposite side of the field look down and your handshake was so firm that you would leave the referees shaking their hand in the air to rid themselves of the feeling of your hand squeezing theirs. You were strong. That was no doubt. But maybe you were just waiting for someone… or some people to help break down your walls, and reveal the delicate you.

Your walls had never come down completely, although there had been two occasions where the team thought they had. The first time was on the mark of your first year with Chelsea. The girls had thrown a little party, which honestly was more of an excuse to drink beer, but you were grateful for it. You all gathered at Pernille and Magda’s house, had a cheat night of pizza and beer, played games and had all around fun. You didn’t drink any beer, you never did consume alcohol considering it was the main reason behind your shit childhood. The main reason behind the walls you had put up as well.

So, as Magda did her special party trick (drank a bit too much and got sick), you were the one who ended up having to sit with her in the washroom. Pernille hadn’t come to the party due to the fact that her mother and father were in town, she had apologized but you insisted it was okay, because it was.

That night, you played the role of Pernille. A younger, darker haired Pernille. You let Magda lay on your lap, and you held her hair as she threw up. You brushed your fingers through her hair and dabbed her face with a warm towel. That moment was the closest you had ever gotten to being completely and utterly soft. But then Magda threw up on your lap and you tried to stay calm but you freaked out solid.

Magda remembered nothing the next morning and you did not remind her.

The second time was after winning the 2022 FA cup. You hadn’t cried of joy right away although you could have. Instead, you hugged every single person on the team for over ten seconds each. "Was that an actual hug, y/n/n?" every one of the girls including Emma had said. You had rolled your eyes.

When you got into the changing room, emotions came over you. Your eyes welled with tears as you sat down at your cubby, your head in your hands. Aniek had been the one to accidentally ruin it. "Are you crying?" she asked gently, not meaning to strike a nerve. "No! What the hell?!" you said, standing up quickly and walking into the washroom.

Ever since that day, Magda and Pernille had realized that there was more behind your tears, they noticed that there was more than joy behind your eyes. As everyone on the team hugged their parents and siblings, or face timed them after that game, you sat in a corner on your phone, staring at the apps on your phone.

"She doesn’t have anyone to call, does she?" Pernille said, her arm around Magda’s waist as they watched you sadly. "We’ll be the people she can call then," the swedish woman answered.

It was a promise they had made to themselves and that they upheld every day. They didn’t know what your family situation was, but they did know that they wanted to be your new family.

And they kept that promise every single day. Wether it was holding you tightly but briefly when you had a bad day, or just picking you too be in their group during drills, you were always with P and Magda. You were constantly being caught on camera in the arms of Magda or P, being jokingly carried on and off the pitch like a baby. The denmark native and the swede had a similar behaviour with Niahm and Jessie but with you… they had really claimed you. You were theirs, and everyone knew that.

And sooner than you knew it, a year had passed and it was once again the FA cup final, but against the red side of Manchester this time. Pernille wasn’t starting as she was recently back from injury so you did your pregame routine after warmup. A quick three person handshake and then you hugged them tightly. The kissed one of your temples each and then you stood in a circle, holding the hands of your mothers.

0-0 at half made you feel relieved. Manchester United had easily been the stronger half and you had all been so lucky they hadn’t conceded.

Going into the second half, you had a desire. In a year, you had been named best young player of the year amongst a bunch of other awards, and you were in the race for the golden boot, tied with Rachel Daly. At last years FA cup, you had played 6 minutes and today… today you were on thee starting. You needed to score. A goal at Wembley… what more could you ask for?

Your wish was granted in the 56th minute, a couple minutes after Pernille had been subbed on. Magda sent a long, long ball through the field to find Pernille on the wing. The Scandinavian controlled the ball perfectly and got passed Ona Batlle. Your run was perfect, but you were sprinting to get there. Pernille crossed it in the air and you jumped.

Your head hit the ball, the ball hit the netting, and then you hit the turf, falling at the feet of Mary Earps who yelled a loud curse word. But you were full of joy. You stood up, screaming at the top of your lungs and running towards Pernille with your arms wide. Magda came and then Jessie, Niahm, Sam, Guro, everyone. You had jumped into Pernilles arms, your legs around her waist. You faced the fans, blowing kisses to the crowd and yelling at the top of your lungs.

It was a family goal.

When the final whistle blew, you fell to your knees and let out a large breath of relief. "You did it!" Pernille and Magda yelled, rushing to you and tackling you into a hug on the pitch.

The celebrations were insane, you lifted the trophy with Magda, you danced on the field, gave your shirt to a young fan, took pictures and danced some more. The difference was that when people went to see or call their families Magda and Pernille stayed with you.

"You played so well today baby," Magda said to you. It was said in a motherly way, a way that made you blush and look down at your lap. "Listen, we’ve never wanted to ask but if you ever want to… i don’t know… talk? Yeah, talk about whatever your family situation is, we are more than here for you. You know that right?"

You fiddled with your fingers, not looking at the blondes on either side of you. "Yeah, I know," you answered half heartedly.

"Y/n…" Pernille said gently. "Not to be… dramatic or whatever but I’ve been told that before, okay? And it wasn’t true," you said, standing up from the bench you were on. A few heads turned but you didn’t want to make a scene so you sat back down quickly. You hung your head and then inhaled and exhaled heavily.

"My mother got pregnant with me when she was 18. My dad just freaked out and left, I’ve never met him and he’s never shown any desire to want to meet me, even though he knows who I am. My mother got deep, deep into drugs and alcohol when I was 5. By the time I was 6 I was walking 30 minutes to get to school by myself, and- and cooking and I would animal sit for all of my neighbours with pets just to try and help my mother out a little. I started playing football when I was 7 because my best friends dad was the coach and he agreed to let me play on his boys team for free. I played with that team till I was 10 and then when I wanted to switch to competitive I got an anonymous amount of money to put towards keeping on playing football. I had no clue it was from who, and I still don’t. Anyways. I played football with clubs in Ottawa till I was 16 and started playing with the U-17 Canada team as well. You know the story from there. But that’s just the public story. The private story was that from age 10 to 17 my mother was constantly passed out, the house smelled like vomit, it was horrible. And my mother hated me. She thought it was all my fault that she landed in addiction. So when I was 18 and I left for Stanford… I deleted her number and I haven’t talked to her since. That’s the story."

It felt as though you had said that whole rant in one breath. Throughout everything, your eyes stayed fixed on your feet. You had not realized your eyes were filled with tears and you didn’t like it when you realized. Quickly, you used the neck of your shirt to erase any trace of tears. "Y/n/n…" Magda said, lifting your chin and making you look at her, her own eyes glistening with tears. "Don’t cry," you said to her before looking over at Pernille who was keeping herself together a bit more but obviously hurt for you. "Guys! Geez were FA cup champions… again! Let’s focus on that! Okay?"

You said this as you stood up, genuinely truly happy that you had won the cup again. But your "mothers" did not let you off that easily. Pernille and Magda both had the idea of reaching out to grab your jersey and pull you back which ended up in your flying backwards onto Magda’s lap. "Okay I know you guys see yourself as my parents or whatever but you do realize i’m not actually a baby right?" you asked, looking at Magda as you sat on her legs. "Haha," she said. "But while I have you here, please underhand that you are so much more than your past, okay?" Magda said, Pernille nodding along to her girlfriends words. "Okay," you said.

You never really talked about it again, but Magda and P knew, and when the reality that they needed to sign a new contract immediately or choose a club to leave too, (Bayern or OL at the moment) they gave each other one look, and then looked over at Millie who had you slung over her shoulder as Jessie and Niahm watched you, laughing loudly, and that was it. They were staying at Chelsea.

#woso fic #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #chelsea fcw #pernille harder #magda eriksson #jessie fleming #cfcw

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ranaissingle · 2 years ago

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In My Mind

Masterlist Summary: Reader exists in the same circle as Austin and has been head over heels in love with him for years but she never speaks up over the course of their friendship until a new years party. Rating: T Word Count: 2.1 k ( I swear this was meant to be a short whip I have no idea what happened)

Warnings: Unrequited love lol (can you tell I'm feeling angsty?) A/N: Hey girlies, it's been a hot minute haha. School kinda got in the way and then I had to learn (for the zillionth time) that men ain't shit (besides our lord and savior Austin Butler of course). I quite literally have no inspiration so please do send me some requests. I'm thinking of doing another angst fic about Hanahaki disease... How do we feel?

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When Austin told you he had started dating Vanessa Hudgens you felt like you wanted to die. Yes. Die. The world seemed to close in on you as he continued explaining how they had met and how he had asked her out. Each word was another knife in your throat and every admission of his love for her tore your heart into smaller and smaller pieces.

But you sat there and listened. You listened as he detailed their first kiss, their first date, his confession, and hers to him. It took each ounce of self-control to not get up and scream. Scream at him for not knowing how you felt and scream for the heart that had broken.

But you kept your mouth shut. You helped Austin plan all the valentines day dates, the birthday trips, and each anniversary date. Every single thing he had done for her and every girl he had been with since had been painstakingly vetted by you. You were happy to help him, but the fact that all your preparations were for another girl was a hard pill to swallow.

Everything came to a head when he started dating Kaia Gerber. She was beautiful. in every way imaginable she was conventionally attractive. Her skinny legs, straight waist, and small hips made you want to collapse in on yourself. She was perfect in every way. She was everything you were not. Tall, skinny, and beautiful.

Austin was smitten. He had developed a habit of dating skinny models and he had yet to break it. You were anything but surprised when she caught his eye when he asked you if you had her number, when he took her out for the first date, and then eventually when they started dating. It was routine for you now.

He would meet a girl, become infatuated, date her, dump her, then move on to the next one.

But at least you stayed constant. You had been constant for well over a decade at this point. That was more than any of the other girls could say. So you were content, until the New Year's of 2022. It was December 31st, 2022 and Austin had just broken up with his latest fling and had elected to spend New Year's as a free agent. You had never really had a date on new years because your previous relationships always ended before the fateful day or started after. You had grown accustomed to accompanying the same leather chair in the corner of your living room while you watched your friends with their respective partners mingle about your house. You sipped champagne as you watched couples drunkenly sway together as the countdown began to draw dangerously close to midnight.

1 hour to midnight

You spotted Austin out of the corner of your eye and you felt the iciness in your heart melt when he smiled at the people he spoke to. He was in the middle of a group of 4 other people yet still looked ethereal. His hair shone under the kitchen light and the crinkles around his eyes made you want to run your fingers over them.

You watched him. You watched how his lips moved. You traced his figure with your eyes until you reached his hands. His fingers picked at the cuticles of his nails. It was his nervous habit. He always resorted to picking at his cuticles whenever he was around people he didn't know well. It had led to many last-minute manicures before photoshoots to help deal with the redness it left.

30 minutes to midnight

You slowly pushed yourself off the comfortable chaise and made your way over to him. Maybe if you were with him he would feel so nervous, and it could save you from a last-minute call to the nail salon where you had to beg for an opening. You slid in next to him and smiled at the people around him. They barely looked away from Austin to greet you, but you were fine with that. Austin was the star, not you. You slipped your hands in his hand and tugged it behind your back to keep it out of view from those around you.

Austin thrived off of physical touch. He needed it like the air he breathed. Whenever he was feeling nervous or overwhelmed being enveloped in a hug from you or even just having your hand in his was enough to calm the nerves and allow him to breathe. Austin looked down to where you were pressed into his side.

You knew him so well that even from across the room you knew he needed grounding. His chest swelled with pride for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint. His conversation with those around him continued without a hitch and when the countdown started to broadcast on the TV, they all made their way to their respective partners leaving you and Austin alone at the kitchen island.

15 minutes to midnight

You kept Austin's hand clasped in yours as the countdown numbers descended. Neither of you planned on moving or letting go. The warmth of his hand reached places all over your body and practically heated you up from the inside.

7 minutes to midnight

Austin leaned his head down to whisper into your ear, "If I didn't know you better I'd say that you end up single on New Year's on purpose." You heard the smile in his voice.

"Do you?"

His brown furrowed together, "Do I what?"

You matched him with a grin of your own.

"Know me better." The half tilt of your head made his stomach churn.

His laugh was smooth and boisterous. He brought his other arm around your shoulder to bring you closer to his side. Your heart slowed as you relaxed into him and abandoned your unnecessarily alcoholic drink on the kitchen counter.

5 minutes to midnight

"Hey." Austin's voice cut into the still air of the room. His eyes were trained on the TV and you looked up at his jaw as you waited for him to finish his sentence.

"Do you… do you wish you had a date? For New Year that is." The question caught you off guard and you twitched as you pressed into his side.

"uhm, I-I. I gues-" You stuttered when you couldn't seem to form a cohesive response. Your heart started to accelerate again and your breaths came out in short pants.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself once more to better be able to form a cohesive sentence.

"Well, I guess no one wants to be alone on New years. But that is just how it always seems to happen." You paused a sudden feeling of bravery came over you. The most likely culprit of such a feeling being the alcohol.

"And the person I would like to be with is almost always in a relationship during the New Year." You focused your gaze on the suddenly very interesting kitchen tiles. You had previously told Austin about someone that you had a crush on for years. You had tried to keep it yourself but Austin tended to pry when it came to matters of love but as much as he tried to wrangle the information out of you about who it was, you had kept tight-lipped and unwavering in your resistance to respond.

"Oh?" His eyebrow quirked up as he looked away. It seems he had also taken a sudden interest in the wall decor you had across the room.

"Is this the same guy you've told me about before?" His voice was deep and his throat bobbed as he spoke.

"Yes, it is actually. The very same."

"Haven't you been into this guy for years Y/N?"

"Yes, I have."

"And you are still into him? Why? He is the stupidest man in the world if he hasn't noticed by now." His chuckle was low but you could tell he didn't actually find it remotely funny.

You looked up at him and wished that he would understand from your eyes that you were talking about him, that you were in love with him.

But you had been in love with him for nigh over 10 years and the dolt had yet to come to any significant realization regarding your feelings so there was no use hoping for something like that now.

"Well, I would stop loving him if I could, but as soon as I feel like I can get over him, he does something that has been crawling back." You shrugged lightly and took another sip of your drink before placing it back on the counter.

3 minutes to midnight

"And it doesn't help that he is my best friend." You were skirting around the dangerous territory with that statement. You knew you were. But you were so tired that all the previous reservations and rules you had so painstakingly followed, disappeared.

Austin's eyes widened in confusion.

"Best friend? You have another best friend?" Austin was too slow for his own good.

You shrugged before replying, "Nope, I only have one best friend."

He let out an exasperated sigh

"So I'm not your best friend?!" Your eye twitched.

"No Austin. You are my only best friend."

"So who are you in love with?" Your fingers twitched. You were going to strangle him.

"I am in love with my one and only best friend."

Silence

Austin tensed next to you and you awaited the sting of his rejection that you had spent the better part of the last 10 years preparing for.

2 minutes to midnight

The silences echoed in the room despite the growing cheers of those around you. The timer was steadily counting down the seconds and you wanted to vomit.

The bile rose in your throat when the counter reached 30 seconds. Awaiting his rejection was arguably worse than the rejection itself.

You pushed away from him. His previously comforting warmth had twisted something in your gut and now you wanted to vomit.

His hand traced your back as you slid away before it fell back to his side. He stuttered out a "W-wait."

But you didn't want to

3 Austin yanked you back until your face was back in his chest and his arm was around your waist. He moved his head into your neck and pushed his nose into your hair before taking a deep breath.

2 Your breath caught when he pulled your head away from him to look into your eyes. 1 He kissed you. He kissed so hard you could have sworn you had fireworks behind your eyes. His hands were everywhere. Crossing your neck, cupping your hips, and splaying across your back. He kissed you until neither of you could breathe anymore. You wrenched away from each other and gulped down large breaths of fresh air.

His hand shakily pressed against your cheek and you looked up to meet his eyes. You didn't want this to be something that only happened because it was the heat of the moment. You wanted it to mean something to him. You wanted him to love you the same way you had for years. You didn't want this to be mean nothin-

"I love you." You had the timbre of his voice memorized. You knew it was Austin speaking but you still looked around you dreading the possibility of him not speaking to you.

But your face was still cupped in between his hands and his eyes were on you.

your eyes were wide as you looked at him You felt stinging and then a prick of tears in your eyes. They fell slowly down your cheeks one by one and Austin kissed each of them away.

All at once you need him on you all over again. You had gone years without so much as a kiss on the cheek from him and you would be damned if you continued in that fashion.

So you pulled his lips hard against you and kissed him until your lips were numb and swollen, and even then you didn't want him off of you.

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well, this was probably shitty so forgive me. It has been a while since I posted so figured I needed to back in the groove of things haha. I think I might do a professor x university student Austin fic next so watch out for that lol.

#austin butler smut #austin butler fic #austin butler #austin butler imagine #austin butler fanfic #austin butler elvis #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x reader #austin elvis x reader #austin x reader #austin!elvis x reader #austinbutler #austin butler angst #austin butler series #austin butler x you #austin butler x black!reader #austin butler x fem!reader #austin butl #Spotify

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imaginesbymk · 3 months ago

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*that tiktok sound* hey!!….. hey…….. how y’all doing………..

i have a lot to say but lemme start off by saying i am SOOOOOooOoOoO sorry for ghosting this blog for a year. same thing’s been happening with wattpad. i ghosted 2 fics on there. and that includes my original dystopian scifi novel that has been in self development hell (as i like to call it)

my only explanation is that i grew unmotivated and grew out of writing fics. it came to a point where im just maladaptive daydreaming, the maladaptive daydreaming takes over and it doesnt let me actually create anything. the other reason is timing. i worked my ass off and finally graduated college with a 4.0 GPA, i did more commercial modelling and runway for a university fashion show so i can build my portfolio, i work full time and my pay is big, i made more art in my sketchbook... basically i just lived my life outside of tumblr.

another thing, the giant elephant in the room, i met cameron monaghan and morena baccarin at fanexpo canada! cameron went through my sketchbook, signed my jerome/jeremiah fanart, and asked me if i was an art student. after i told him i was rejected twice, he looked through every single page in my sketchbook and told me, "aw. well, fuck 'em!" that "it looks like [you] don't need art school" after all. he saw my reservoir dogs acrylic portraits of mr. pink and mr. white and told me he used to watch that film almost 600-700 times when he was 12. he then took a pic of my Grace Van Dien fanart (when i met her in 2022 at fanexpo canada) and he told me he's gonna send it to her. i had no idea they even knew each other.

i couldn't afford a table selfie+autograph combo at morena's autograph sessions so i only paid for a selfie. i said "oi" and "obrigada" to morena before and after taking a selfie with her and she said thank you back with a big smile :D so fanexpo was surreal.

i've always wanted to meet cameron monaghan and after years of writing fanfic for jerome and jeremiah valeska and other gotham fandom character imagines, i *finally* got to meet him.

ive been thinking about coming back and writing again, not just tumblr but on wattpad and getting serious with my original scifi dystopian novel. there's so much that i wanna do in life other than become financially stable and become a successful petite model until i no longer look the part. its hard for me to write because i get so easily stumped. even when i create some ambiance and rewatch the fandom to get inspired, it just drops again. writing is hard. that is why i have respect for my mutuals and my favourite famous authors that got me to write when i was 12. (lol) and anyways, i made new friends and im the happiest ive ever been romantically that i dont need to *imagine* anything with a fandom character, i do it for those who imagine it themselves!

im so sad to come back here and see that a few of my mutuals are inactive or have deactivated. and i became like them and abandoned my work. to be fair, my writing isn't that good, and it still isn't, and if i get something written and published here or on wattpad on a professional hardcopy of my book, i won't believe that it's my best work - and i aced my creative writing elective in my program, so that's a bummer.

i think meeting cameron is giving me a nudge to get back to writing. it feels weird wanting to write jerome/jeremiah fanfic after interacting with the actor himself for less than 5mins of his time, and that he's a human being that experiences human stuff like we all do, the only difference is that he's famous. im not sure if it healed my parasocial mindset with my fave celebs. i do want to take my time and write *something*. i am not doing the requests that have been in my drafts and inbox for a year (sorry :O) im just gonna take my time and readjust and get something down.

<3 mad love to my mutuals @myriadimagines @spacetalbot @arrogant-sonofa-bitch @littlemissvincentvega @emcon-imagines @writerdream22 @jjsmaybank20 @witchthewriter @musicallisto @locke-writes @zodiyack @mahvericks @karasong @moonlit-imagines @randomfandomimagine + many more moots

#mk talks #cameron monaghan #gotham #jerome valeska #jeremiah valeska #morena baccarin #leslie thompkins #misc

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usukustwiceperyear · 2 months ago

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Hello everyone,

Congratulations on another amazing Twice Per Year! We hope everyone has been enjoying the batch of new content, or if you haven't had the chance yet, we encourage you to take a look.

This publication was a bit rough going, and largely because of that, the Admin Team has decided to write this post to share with everyone the state of TPY and our (tentative) plans moving forward.

The Process

First, we'd like to explain a little about our process. At the beginning of a year, we open up a poll to take idea submissions from everyone, regardless of whether they hope to participate or not. The admins then compile these submissions into specific choices and themes for people to vote on what they'd like to see for the coming year. This is what acts as our "interest check," to see a birds' eye view of not just participants but also readers. After that, we open sign-ups for the selected theme. While we underline the fact that sign-ups are a show of commitment and there are penalties for dropping out later, we have also attempted to emphasize that these penalties are mild and temporary and mostly just to discourage noncommittal sign-ups. The admin team uses sign-ups to gauge the size of TPY (both literally in page numbers, and fandom-wise in "activity" especially in comparison to interest check numbers), and has to manually collate a spreadsheet of each participant's sign-up info and progress at every check-in. Then, the check-ins. These are checkpoints at set dates during the TPY "term" where we message participants to get an idea of where they're at in the creation process and answer any questions or concerns they may have. The actual status of the work isn't really what matters here - the more important function of a check-in is to open an avenue of dialogue with people so they don't feel shy or hesitant to message the admin team. We understand that stuff happens, and either people don't want to be a bother, or it slips their mind because they're busy with other things, so the check-ins function as, well, a check-in to see how things are going. Finally, the submissions. This is where the admins' crunch time begins, as we rush to begin production of the actual zine itself. If participants do not submit their works correctly with the template provided, then this stage can also involve chasing people down for info within a timely manner (and if responses are slow, can delay production). Unfortunately, this part has been a struggle over the last 3-4 TPYs, as participants have not consistently submitted their works as requested (mostly artists). At this point we are aware that things tend to drop into radio silence, so we'd like to briefly list what we're busy working on. In addition to participants' submissions, the sum total of a TPY publication is made up of: a cover page (whose artist is selected from the sign-up sheet); a disclaimer and thank you page; original graphics for the acknowledgements, table of contents, and contributors pages; original graphics for the SFW and NSFW category pages; and an original document template for written works. It is a large amount of work and can take time to get looking right. We also re-format and SPAG (spelling and grammar) check written works, and resize any incorrectly submitted artwork. Once everything is made and ready, it is compiled with Adobe Acrobat into a single PDF.

The Numbers

There are a couple of pain points in this process that we'd like to elaborate on.

In 2022, we took over TPY from the old team, and as such only ran one theme as we built our new system and processes. We are missing full voting and participant information from this time, but we do know that there were:

24 sign-ups, with 12 final participants (12 drop outs/potentially ghosted)

Last year (2023), TPY had:

52 votes on the themes

23 sign-ups for part one, with 19 final participants (4 drop outs)

31 sign-ups for part two, with 24 final participants (7 drop outs)

This year (2024), so far TPY has had:

43 votes on the themes

26 sign-ups for part one, with 18 final participants (8 drop outs - 5 of which ghosted)

Overall numbers are varied, but it's the ratio for each year we're looking at. For 2023, the percentage ratio from votes to sign-ups were 44~59.5%, dropping to 36.5~46% for final participation (a drop of 7.5~13.5%). These are pretty good numbers - it means roughly around half of the people who voted were planning to participate! For 2024 however, it started out strong (60%!) but dropped to 41.9% upon final submissions (a whopping 18.1% right out of the gate). But more importantly: not only did it drop below the participant threshold that the admin team has set, but there were a staggering number of people who simply vanished and did not inform us of dropping out. This was when we posted our notice saying that we were extending the submission deadline, in hopes to get word from those people on their status - which severely delayed the production of the zine. We received 2 further submissions in this way, but the rest remained MIA.

But What Does It Mean

The takeaway here is the growing number of drop outs (not to mention the ghosting). Sign-up numbers are largely looking great, as it's natural for that number to rise and fall as people come and go from the fandom, get busier or have more leisure time, are interested in that term's theme or not, etc etc. The admin team's threshold is for a 20 participant minimum, as we believe this is a reasonable number for current fandom activity/popularity, in addition to allowing for a wide variety of fanworks submitted (the ratio of written works to artworks can be very skewed). Dropping below this number is concerning, as not only does it mean decreasing interest, but it also starts tipping the level of work needed by the admin team into unbalance. We're working adults, with jobs and responsibilities, and dedicate not only our personal time but also our personal money (Adobe ain't cheap) to this fandom tradition. Understandably we want TPY to be the very best it can be, but that does require others to "meet us halfway," so to speak, by participating. If not enough people do so, the work involved begins to feel less like a willing celebration to contribute to and give back to the fandom, and more like we're, well, wasting our time and effort (and money).

And while we understand life does happen and sometimes it's necessary to drop out despite original intentions to participate, the Admin Team would like to re-emphasize that if you don't believe you can fully commit (perhaps you don't have a solid idea for the theme, or you know you'll be gone on holiday for an extended period, etc.), then please don't sign-up. If you must drop out - no worries, truly, but please let us know! Don't just disappear! Conversely, we really hope that more people do consider signing up - there's no "requirements" you must meet (anyone can participate), the process is easy (all we ask is you respond to the check-ins and follow submission rules, otherwise we do the rest), and you get to be published in one of this ship's longest running events!

We hope that by making all this information transparent, we can empower and encourage people to be more willing to participate and support TPY. The Admin Team has occasionally received some absolutely lovely and kind messages thanking us, which we appreciate more than words can say, as this really is a labor of love. But we'd also love to see those feelings returned to the fandom at large, not just kept in our email inbox!

Moving Forward

Thankfully this time, we were able to get TPY out at the very end of September/start of October, but unfortunately this has messed up our timeline for the remainder of the year.

The Admin Team took some additional time to discuss whether TPY would continue or not, after this rough term, but we didn't want to just end things with no transparency and no chance for people to have their say. So we've chosen to continue for now, with some changes.

As there are only 3 months left in the year, it would be a very rushed term (not to mention end of year holidays), and we have decided that that would be unfair to hopeful participants. As such, the Admin Team has made the decision to push the voted-on theme, "Ocean's 1923" (love at sea), to the beginning of next year (2025-1).

Sign-ups will start December 1st and run through December 31st. (A further timeline of check-in and submission dates will be shared later.)

As the numbers start rolling in, and we see how that term fares in sign-up and final participant rates, we will make a final decision on the ultimate fate of TPY. If interest has simply waned over the years and people no longer wish to participate, then we would like to end TPY with dignity, and would likely hold one final wrap-up theme to top things off.

Final Words

We know this was a lot to get through, so thank you if you got this far. We are so appreciative of everyone who has touched TPY in some way - whether as a participant or a reader, you are an important part of this ship.

We understand if there's questions or comments people would like to make in response to this. Our email is always open (usukustwiceperyear (at) gmail (dot) com), or feel free to message Narcoleptic via Discord (@narcoleptic).

Thank you again, and until next time, The USUKUS Network & Twice Per Year Admin Team

#usukustwiceperyear #tpy:announcement

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for-those-who-wait · 3 months ago

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Would love to see more of your android Hunter au! Love the idea it just won’t leave my head…

A question I would have for this is Hunter still like a replica of Caleb? Sorta like an Astro boy type thing going on here or what? If so what’s the story behind that if you are willing to share.

Never played become human, despite years of saying I will bc it looks made for me jksskkm, so sorry if I’m missing something there.

Yes I'm so glad!! I'm a very big fan of it and I am very tempted to write something for it (I too have been possessed)

The short answer is that Hunter was made in Caleb's image—as close as Philip could get! Very much an Astro boy situation where he's made as a sort of replacement that was programmed to experience, interpret, and interact with the world exactly as a human would.

As for the long answer and the story behind it, my thoughts are "take canon and replace witches with androids" and that's your initial argument between Philip and Caleb. I haven't thought about it too much but my initial idea is that before the revolution, they both lived in Detroit and worked with androids, and both worked at CyberLife (Caleb because he's naturally fascinated with them and Philip because he's just following in Caleb's footsteps [call it brotherly bonding or unhealthy obsession, take your pick!]), but it's Caleb that sees the early signs of deviancy and sees something more within androids that Philip just can't fathom (that being the capacity for free thought and will). Philip sees this as a betrayal—How dare you see humanity in these machines! How dare you try and extend the sanctity of the human soul to these inhuman bodies of plastic!—and like in canon, he kills Caleb for that betrayal.

Now this all happened in the late 2010s and early 2020s because for some reason, Detroit: Become Human is in a technologically advanced version of our world where CyberLife was founded and androids were first created in 2018 (the actual game and android revolution take place in 2038). I think it would be a few years until Philip does kill Caleb, let's say 2027 or so (because androids pass the Turing test in 2022 and 2027 is the year that a million androids have been sold, so the concept of deviancy was able to marinate a bit and I think that's enough time for the signs to start popping up and for Elijah Kamski, the CEO of CyberLife, to start being weird and existential about it).

So it's 2027, Caleb is dead, Philip is never considered a suspect, is never tried, and the murder is never solved. He is so incredibly not well (my man needs magical levels of therapy and his ass is not getting it). At this point, Philip has been working at CyberLife long enough to have a pretty high status. He totally has the authority and the power to request a custom android to be built off-the-books, probably because of threats or blackmail or whatever other abusive tactics he can pull as a superior to most employees at the company. Because it's freaking weird to make a child android in the image of your brother that was mysteriously murdered.

But Hunter is made like a regular factory-set android with no personality, no emotions, etc. but Philip of course knows exactly how to fix that (he's been working at CyberLife for nine years, he can do these things). It's his version of a sort of middle finger to Caleb, giving an android emotions and free will. Kind of like "Hey, you know how you thought androids were capable of having human emotional intelligence and conscious individual thought and a soul and humanity? Well actually I'm going to give these 'emotions' and this 'humanity' to your android and show you that they aren't real." And he does this by just being the absolute WORST android/child/whatever caretaker in the existence of the entire world in every single possible way because "See? Its blood is blue and it's not dying when I bloodlet it, it's clearly not human. Ah, see how it's become completely catatonic as a result of repeated trauma? Clearly this is just malfunctioning software. It's obviously just broken. See, Caleb? See how wrong you were about androids having humanity?" This man is evil and stupid

Hunter doesn't have Caleb's memories or anything, and let's call the tooth gap a manufacturing error from doing things under the table that Philip (who doesn't do chassis repairs) can't fix without CyberLife setting off alarm bells. It's probably in 2028 or 2029 that Philip packs up and moves to Gravesfield and that leads to the rest of what I talked about in my other post, where Hunter is completely isolated and kept ignorant of the ongoing revolution come 2038, and still doesn't obtain freedom until a long while after that

Thank you for the ask!! I will happily ramble about this AU whenever somebody asks about it. You should totally play the game if you can. I'll be the first to admit it's got issues as a civil rights allegory (thanks, director David Cage) but it is a fun time and such a cool concept and the characters are great and we love Detroit: Become Human in this house. Sorry if any of the terms weren't explained well, I will happily specify more so if anything is unclear, just let me know! Planning on making more content for it at some point :))

#the owl house #detroit become human #hunter toh #philip wittebane #toh au #toh dbh au #toh hunter #dbh #caleb wittebane #ask

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mariacallous · 7 months ago

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Tom O’Donnell had never really been that interested in how elections worked until former president Donald Trump lost in 2020. Then, everything changed.

Like hundreds of thousands of people across the US, O’Donnell joined so-called election integrity groups that posted baseless conspiracies about the 2020 election. His group was called Idaho First Audit, and members flooded election offices across the state with requests for voting data. They weren’t alone: Other organizations like right-wing activist group True the Vote inundated election offices across the country as part of a broader effort they believed would uncover systemic fraud within the election process.

Election workers in Ada County, Idaho, home to the state capital of Boise, were pretty amenable to questions about the election process from O’Donnell’s group. O’Donnell even organized a tour of the Ada County election offices “to learn more about the process of voting,” and struck up a relationship with Trent Tripple, then the deputy county clerk.

But Tripple, who became county clerk last year, was one of the officials struggling to cope with the barrage of records requests and threats that the majority of election offices were receiving at the time. After the records requests overwhelmed the election office’s employees, Tripple and Ada County’s director of election, Saul Seyler, decided they needed to change things up.

So after years of work, they’ve now given election deniers exactly what they’ve been asking for: Last week, Tripple and Seyler launched Ballot Verifier, a first-of-its-kind tool that gives anyone with an internet connection direct access to every single ballot that has been cast in all Ada County elections since 2022, meaning that those in the election denial movement can no longer say that they don’t have access to the information they want.

“We just decided there’s got to be a way that we can push back against this a little bit but also achieve that perfect marriage between technology and government records so that citizens, candidates, parties, everybody has access to all the information that we have,” says Tripple.

The tool provides sleek graphics of all election races, and allows users to filter by type of ballot and even drill right down to precinct level to see an image of every single one of the ballots counted. Crucially, the ballot images are presented alongside what is known as the cast vote record, which is the record of how the ballot tallying machine counted the vote on election day. By showing these side-by-side, anyone can instantly see whether there are any discrepancies.

“I can’t even dream up how we can be more transparent than this,” says Tripple. “There isn’t anything else that we have that the public cannot see.”

Ballot images and cast vote records, both details about elections barely ever mentioned prior to 2020, have become a focus for election conspiracists trying to prove widespread voter fraud conspiracies.

In some cases, election conspiracists have even built programs to look at ballot images. Well-funded groups like True the Vote have built online tools based on voter rolls, previously reported on by WIRED, which they are urging their tens of thousands of supporters to use and then erroneously claim voters should be struck off the voter rolls.

“It's very different if [an online tool] is coming from an independent group, like True the Vote, that obviously has certain political leanings, and information that they're providing is through a lens,” says Seyler, as opposed to “something like [Ballot Verifier], which is available to everybody and truly transparent.” The data, the team says, is also private. “There is nothing that is printed on this ballot other than the individual markings, [nothing] that would tie it to a particular voter,” says Tripple. “The ballot is completely private.”

Still, some election experts have voiced concerns about the potential for systems like Ballot Verifier to pose privacy risks for voters, particularly in small precincts or in cases where voters leave notes on the ballots that could identify them.

“Despite the clear benefits to transparency of releasing cast vote records and ballot images, making these records public comes with trade-offs,” researchers from the Bipartisan Policy Center wrote in August. “Voters’ privacy might be compromised, and vote buying becomes feasible when ballot secrecy is violated—an extreme, if less likely, potential ramification of making ballot images public.”

There have also been some prior efforts to give voters access to ballot images, such as in Pueblo County in Colorado in 2021, but these efforts were not as comprehensive or technically proficient as Ballot Verifier.

At the same time that Tripple and Seyler were trying to think about a better solution, Idaho had been using a tool called ElectionStats to give voters access to statistics around election results. That tool was created by Civera Software, a civic technology company that ended up working alongside Ada County election officials to build out the new Ballot Verifier tool.

And even before the system went live, Tripple invited O’Donnell and other skeptics to be among the first to test it out.

“I think it's really good. It's more than I thought would have happened, because when we request our images now, we just get a data dump of files,” O’Donnell tells WIRED, adding that the Telegram group has responded positively to the launch of Ballot Verifier.

WIRED also tested the Ballot Verifier tool, looking at specific precincts and races, filtering votes by type (mail-in ballot, absentee ballot, etc.) and found that the system worked smoothly and instantly displayed images of every ballot cast.

US elections have never been safer, and the 2020 election was declared the “most secure” by Trump’s own officials. But a lot of people still believe unfounded conspiracies about elections, and the roll out of this tool in one county in one state is not necessarily going to change that overnight. Indeed, a review of O’Donnell’s 400-person Telegram channel by WIRED this week shows that many within the election integrity group are still regularly sharing widely debunked conspiracies about voting.

Adam Friedman, Civera’s founder, believes part of the reason for this is a lack of transparency, something which Ballot Verifier can address.

“A lot of the conspiracy theories and divisiveness and toxic rhetoric and mistrust around elections in America goes hand-in-hand with people not being able to see enough and people perceiving voting as being a black box experience,” says Friedman. “Ballot Verifier is really a way to turn a black box into a glass box.”

Friedman says that Civera had already signed a contract with several counties in Texas to provide the tool to them, and was in discussions with counties in multiple other states. The tool is also of interest to academics, and Friedman says the company is in preliminary conversations with two prominent universities and a number of political scientists who study cast vote records.

But Ballot Verifier is not cheap. Friedman and Civera provided a “large discount” on the research and development costs for this tool, but it still cost Ada County $40,000. While there are no current plans to roll the tool out nationally, Seyler says that while every county could benefit from using a system like it, election budgets have been historically underfunded. While all the backend work to upload new election data is handled by the company’s employees, the company is also currently building tools to allow local election officials to do this themselves, and go even faster.

The next big test for the Ballot Verifier tool comes later this month with the statewide primaries in Idaho on May 21. This will be the first time the officials will be working with recent election data rather than historical data, and they know there will be pressure to get that information online as soon as possible. Seyler says the current projection for getting the data uploaded is four to six weeks, though it could be quicker if Civera can finish some additional tools they are working on to improve efficiencies.

Looking further ahead, Tripple even foresees a point when data is available in Ballot Verifier so quickly after a vote that it could be used by candidates or parties to decide whether a recount is necessary, potentially avoiding the expensive and drawn-out recount process.

“That's not going to be possible now because of the speed at which we're uploading this data, but I think that's something that could be happening in the future,” says Tripple.

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7grandmel · 25 days ago

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Rip of the week: 28/10/2024

Lagplane

Season 7 Featured on: The Year of Grand Dad Sound Selection [Side A]

Ripped by Blookerstein Visuals by Whatvzz

youtube

Requested by Mobbsz! (@mobbsz02)

There's a phenomenon I've observed in recent times online, where internet memes appear to coming in and out of fashion at a far higher speed than they used to. With the relatively small internet populous of the late 2000s and the near complete lack of cynicism, everything from Doge to Trollface were downright undying in popularity; today, a new meme can be outright skip the stage of popularity and become revered ironically before it was ever even liked sincerely. I think you can pinpoint 2015-2016 as the main point when the tides began to shift; the period when internet cynicism was at an all-time high just so coincidentally happening at the same time as complete jibberish nonsense memes like Dat Boi and MLG parodies. I've covered both of those examples back on Koopa Street and we are number one but with outdated memes over it, and this post isn't necessarily about nostalgic reminiscence of memes long gone; but rather, that the intensely rapid circulation of today's meme economy have many jokes, like the one featured today on Lagplane, as feeling forgotten about mere months after their prominence.

It should require no disclaimer to clarify that I do not endorse, support or approve of anything that Andrew Tate — the online world's number one loser — says or does. Unfortunately, for as forgotten as today's meme associated with him has become, the man himself still persists in online spaces like a cockroach. Yet there was a very small timeframe back in late 2022, during the highpoint of his obnoxious presence on platforms like TikTok, where knowing about him would inadvertently also make you aware of one of the funniest bits played in recent memory; The legendary "Bottom G".

It began with various users on the app simply taking notice of people on the street with a striking resemblance to Tate's (rather generic) appearance, whilst coincidentally partaking in less-than-hypermasculine behavior. As Mr. Tate is one to desperately obsess over the state of his own — and others' — sense of masculinity, the inherent comedy in seeing a man look exactly like him yet exude openly queer energy became immediately apparent. Soon, these random sightings would escalate into one downright uncanny look-a-like by the name of Brian Michael Hinds taking it upon himself to don the meme's persona single-handedly. Mere days after the joyous news of Tate's online suspension broke in August 2022, Hinds celebrated by busting it down to the sped-up tune of Bambee's Bumble Bee; and thus, Bottom G was officially cast into stardom.

There was something about it all — the outright mocking of an obnoxious internet personality, the use of nightcore'd up music, the outright rejection of hypermasculine societal norms — that has always made me associate Bottom G with a certain flavor of memes from the early 2010s. The easiest comparison to draw, of course, is to the ever-present hatred of Justin Bieber as covered back on BELIEBERDANSEN - only now, that vitriol was not only directed toward someone far more deserving of ridicule, but was also distilled into an anthem and series of videos that are genuinely entertaining to watch. There's no other way to put it; Brian Michael Hinds absolutely SLAYED in the role of Bottom G across all his various shortform content he'd make to continue mocking the disheveled influencer. All of this, in turn, me oh-so-happy to see that SiIvaGunner team was quick on the straw to start capitalizing on the joke themselves.

I'm aware that a lot of people are a bit mixed on the Tate's Journey rip purely due to just how tied they are to a currently-prominent controversial figure, and it's a viewpoint I can completely understand. Yet almost every rip of the fake game that we received throughout Season 6 and 7 shows just why its such a fun bit to riff on - and rips such as Top G Alert! showed just how fun the actual audio source of Bumble Bee is to boot! It's a high tier SiIvaGunner meme in my eyes for just how varied it ends up being as a result of all that the meme entails, and Lagplane stands as one of the meme's best showings; At once showing the genuine talent to produce great sounding work from its rippers, a great sense of humor in the material used, and a really fun way to spin the "game"'s ongoing presence on the channel. It may well be the last rip the game will ever receive, releasing over 10 months ago as even the SiIvaGunner team themselves have seemingly moved on from the meme, but it's a true highpoint for the meme to go out on.

Lagtrain is a track that's been made explosively iconic in the vocaloid community and one that I feel is just on the precipice to becoming known even far outside of it the same way Bad Apple!! of Appleforce fame is today. It shouldn't be very hard to understand from just the first listen; the lead instrumentation, for one, is incredibly disstinct, almost reminiscent of pan flutes, the employment of which I'm all too sold on as explained back on Last Freight-Train Night, all only helped by the fantastic sound of the synthesized vocals and strikingly intense percussion. These qualities alone make the track prime material for use in high quality ripping; yet above all else, what's kept the track etched into the minds of nerds all over is undoubtedly its music video. The scratchy monochrome visuals of a girl in unamused thought upon a train, soon devolving into jittery motions in time to the music's beat; it's a hypnotic watch and immediately identifiable, and we've already had plenty of rips on SiIvaGunner paying genuine tribute to it. Be it Eva "hawk tuah" Twin's fantastic Coconut Mall (JP Version), its repeated appearance on Season 8's agonizing April Fools day event such as through PsychLantern's lagtrain but i made it funnier, or plenty other fantastic riffs played on it: Lagtrain, four years past its initial release, is here to stay on SiIva.

It's befitting, in a sense, that the grand sendoff to Tate's Journey rips would play off of their one common denominator past the Bottom G jokes: the thumbnail, a shitty stock image of Tate aboard a private plane. Replace Lagtrain's train with the plane, and its girl with Mr. Tate, and the joke speaks for itself: Lagplane's visuals, done by contributor Whatvzz, are simple but incredibly effective at selling the joke before the audio even kicks in, their scratchiness capturing Lagtrain's charm perfectly. From there, the joke speaks quite well for itself! It's the distinct sound of Lagtrain used to arrange the Bottom G anthem of Bumble Bee, a joyous, whimsical pop song not too unlike Caramelldansen of Caramariodansen fame. Much like that rip, though, the choice in track to mix Bumble Bee with ends up creating a pretty notably different mood: the heavy percussion, monotone synthesized vocals and pan flute melody give Lagplane a somewhat melancholic vibe despite the pep-and-step carried over from Bumble Bee's melody. It's a pretty funny contrast to the rest of the Tate's Journey rips which almost all feel gleefully maximalist, rainbows-and-sparkles-and-everything-else in vibe, and yet it shows just how fun a song Bumble Bee is to where it's still this catchy even placed in a completely different environment such as this.

Of course, as is always the case in rearrangement rips, and as I always try to highlight with everything from Super Wonderful World to Plasmaseeker: the listening experience highly relies on the ripper's expertise and ear for rearranging. Ever since I first heard the rips he worked on starting at around Season 5 with The expanse of meme in past was split, A fiendish trap has now been set; Behind a tree the villains sit, Terror of sport, the Robbie's Net., I've known that Blookerstein's talent was the real deal, a track record of pretty much nothing but bangers and a genuinely impeccable attention to detail throughout all his work. Even though his contributions tend to stay on the sincere side with works like Outertale, Lagplane goes to show that he still operates at full capacity in a sillier setting. It's a fantastic arrangement of Bumble Bee, of course — I particularly love that even Bumble Bee's vocals are redone through using the exact same vocaloid as Lagtrain — but extends itself to being a tribute to the Bottom G meme in general; a segment midway through the rip uses Brian Michaal Hinds' own "Bottom G cover" of Tourner dans le vide, while a section quickly therafter sees both the audio and visuals reference a particularly iconic image of Tate shared in the fallout of his internet suspensions in late 2022.

It's this level of both quality and detail that, paired with the rip's status as perhaps the last-ever Tate's Journey rip, make Lagplane feel like such a befitting swansong to the Bottom G meme as a whole. SiIvaGunner itself is a channel that loves to keep jokes in endless circulation, but its undeniable that memes on the internet come and go at ever-increasing speeds; leave the internet for a month, and you'll have missed a half dozen jokes each rise in popularity, become utilized by shitposters of all kinds, spread to a degree that becomes obnoxious, and then fall completely out of favor. It's very easy to see why overexposure would make people sick of memes online; yet SiIvaGunner has always felt like a place where these memes are allowed to flourish, maintained and explored only by the hands of extremely talented rippers who know not to circulate them with low-quality slop (unless, of course, if being low quality slop is part of the joke; I would never imply that Snowball Park - Super Mario 3D World is anything less than pure cinema).

Be it careful rearrangements of historically beloved video game music, or the ever-lasting perpetuation of memes from 2016, or a 6-month fad that even the team themselves eventually grow bored of, SiIvaGunner gives just about every meme you could think of in the online world a space to flourish. Tate's Journey may be gone, but Lagplane stands as one of the shining examples of just why it was such a fun ride to begin with, an absurd blend of crossed-over memes paired with an infectiously catchy anthem, and an asshole on a plane.

#todays siivagunner #season 7 #siivagunner #siiva #Blookerstein #Whatvzz #Youtube #lagtrain #inabakumori #vocaloid #vocaloid music #bumble bee #bambee #mashups #mashup #bottom g

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