#looking back that may not have been the best timing i could have had

[formulawolff]

celebrity — l.h.

pairing -> fem!reader x lewis hamilton

word count -> 2.2k

warnings -> lewis in bf mode, slight angst, cursing, alcohol usage, marijuana use, sexual innuendos, lewis is a FLIRT, reader is slightly insecure, some tears, hurt + comfort (THE BEST TROPE EVER)

a/n -> i am well aware this is not in the garage, but i just can’t stop thinking about this concept. i hope i did it justice!

“you look beautiful.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks, your palms clamming as his hand drifts toward your thigh, grasping the heated skin. he flashes you a smirk as his thumb delves underneath the fabric of your gown.

“easy there,” you murmur, head connecting with his shoulder, “we don’t want to be late.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“i think a few minutes wouldn’t—“

“lewis.” you tut, and he picks up the way your eyes roll in the rear view mirror, “i’m already an anxious wreck. now is not the time.”

“i’m just trying to put a smile on that sweet face,” he counters, yet his tone is light, “you’ve just been so uptight today. all i’ve seen for hours is that tight-lipped frown. the one you wear when you’re dreading something or super worried.”

you shrug, gaze darting toward the passenger window, “i just hate work-related events. especially around the holidays. why do they even matter?”

as fate would have it, your boyfriend, lewis hamilton, would be accompanying you to a gala hosted by your agency. it was the annual holiday ball, where all of the employees were invited to dress their best, encouraged to bring along a plus one.

due to lewis’ hectic schedule during the year, it was difficult to find a window of time to see one another. add in a time zone difference along with your own line of work, and it was almost impossible.

however, lewis made no exceptions when it came to you.

if it was something involving you, he would find time.

no matter what.

and just a couple of days ago, he flew into chicago, so that he could be with you for all of the holiday celebrations. although you had only been dating for about a year, you knew it was time to introduce him to not only your family, but your coworkers as well.

so what better way to introduce him than a work-related party?

yet, it wasn’t that easy.

lewis was no ordinary man. he was a seven time world champion, a highly decorated and coveted athlete in his sport. he spent his weekends driving at speeds well over two hundred miles an hour. he was sponsored by tommy hilfiger, owned a brand, and was even knighted.

he was well-known all around the world, even by those who were not formula one fans.

everyone knew sir lewis hamilton.

and what the world didn’t know, was that he had a girlfriend.

an american girl, merely twenty-three years old.

so naturally, you were a little apprehensive about tonight.

especially if people started to snap photos and post them.

that aspect was the most terrifying part of it all. what would people think? what would his fans say about you? what rumors would the tabloids and gossip pages spin?

how would people perceive you? how would they see your relationship with lewis? would they hate you? like you? think you’re pretty? what if lewis broke up with you because you weren’t good enough for his fans?

what if?

what if?

what if?

his hand squeezes your thigh, bringing you back to earth, “they’re important because your coworkers are like a second family. i know that sounds corny, but it’s true, especially at an agency like yours.

you guys see one another for nearly forty hours a week. i think it’s only fair you attend one work-related event. even around the holidays. who knows, some of your coworkers may not even have a family to come home to. so that’s why they enjoy events like this.”

letting out a huff, you shift your body to your right, in the direction of the window. a brassy chuckle rumbles in his throat, flowing from his plush lips.

“you know i’m right, love. that’s why you’re pouting over there.”

inhaling a sharp breath, you then exhale, shaking your head. the words are low, barely a whisper.

“maybe it’s because i don’t want everyone at work knowing about my private life.”

“oh baby girl,” lewis hums. you feel his grip on your thigh tighten, “is that what’s been bothering you?”

“y-yeah.”

your lower lip trembles, promising of tears. the golden lights of the city morph together as your vision blurs, the car soaring down lake shore drive. a steady hand dials the volume of the music down, his arm intertwining with yours.

just for a second, you feel his eyes pull away from the road, taking in the way you’re practically clinging to him, desperate for some comfort.

“talk to me love. tell me what’s going on.”

“i-i just,” you stammer, choking back sobs, “i just don’t like how my worlds are colliding. it makes me scared because it feels so… so… serious. i am terrified that you’re not going to like it here. or that you’re not going to like me.. the real me. and i just don’t want you to be bothered all night by people gawking or pointing or whispering.”

before you can even register what’s happening, lewis is pulling into the venue. as he places the car in park, waiting for the valet, you notice his jaw tighten, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

his brows are pinched together, his lips slightly pursed. his body shifts, the chain resting on his collarbone glittering in the low light. his chest heaves, almost as if he was panting, fighting something he couldn’t quite control.

almost as if his inhibitions were crumbling away by the second.

fingers curl around the base of your neck, pulling you in close. lewis cocks his head, tongue running along his lips as he studies you.

your pupils are wide, irises slightly glossy from the tears and the half-smoked joint tucked away in your clutch. your lips glimmer, shiny from the new lip oil he bought.

it was a shade he picked out hours ago, one that suited you oh so perfectly. he was satisfied with that pick, as it brought out colors in your eyes he never had noticed before. they were absolutely stunning, nearly pulling him in as he slowly fell further and further under your spell.

your hair was swept into an elegant style, one that you had never worn for him before. the way you managed to pull just about anything off left him speechless, struggling to find the words as his gaze wandered.

the gown clinging to your frame was stunning. it was a simple black piece adorned with crystal detailing on the bodice, sleeves, and skirt. it was a piece by elie saab, one of the top designers in the realm of gowns. very slyly, he was able to get your measurements one day on a whim, sending them over as quickly as possible.

he researched dozens upon dozens of gems and crystals so that he could find colors that reminded him of you. it was a gown that took months to perfect, as lewis started the moment you texted him about the event. he even had it flown over to the states with him, just so that he knew it wouldn’t get misplaced or damaged.

it was a one-of-one piece, made specifically for you and only you.

and to lewis, that was priceless.

he couldn’t tell you that, though. it was his little secret, meant to be divulged when he felt the moment was right.

“lewis,” the way his name falls from your lips is enticing, dripping with a sweetness he found himself addicted to, “they need to park the car.”

“oh,” he blinks, realizing that the attendant was waiting right outside, “shit. sorry.”

gritting your teeth, your can feel your heart thudding as lewis slips out of the car, chirping a greeting to the attendant. he makes his way around the front end, opening the door on your right.

he offers you his arm, bearing a wide smile. one of his trademark grins that nearly had you melting, your knees buckling as you took a step forward.

the agency you worked for was able to rent the art institute for the evening, transforming it to a wondrous winter-themed ball. all around there was a warm glow from candles, illuminating the vast space with golden light. people mill about, laughter intermingling with the clinking of glasses and music.

as you cling on to lewis, you feel your muscles tense, the pit in your stomach only growing by the second. fuck, there were more people than you expected. and of course, heads were starting to turn. ducking your head, you avoid any eye contact, hoping that lewis locates your table as soon as humanly possible.

this was just too much.

“easy there love,” his mouth ghosts over your ear, “i got you. i promise.”

“as long as you promise,” you mutter, shrinking slightly as you pass by a few people from the agency. there are a few gasps, hushed murmurs erupting as he manages to find your table, pulling your chair out.

“lewis, they’re staring.”

“let them."

in that moment, you want to sink into the chair. maybe even into the floor. beside you, lewis takes your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. he brings your knuckles to his lips, peppering them with tender kisses.

"you want a drink? it may help."

exhaling a shaky breath, your eyes dart around, noticing a cluster of your coworkers approaching the table. yet, you feel his attention remain solely on you, paying no mind to the women starting to swarm around. his fingers massage into your hand, his shoe pressed against your heel.

"why didn't you tell us you were dating a celebrity?"

"you're dating lewis hamilton? how long have you been dating? how did you meet?"

"i can't believe you didn't share this with us!"

lewis' head tilts upward, dimples forming as he flashes them a dazzling smile, "me? a celebrity? i'm not so sure about that. you may have me mistaken for someone else."

"no," your coworker, vanessa, shakes her head, "i know exactly who you are. you're sir lewis hamilton. seven-time formula world champion."

"how did you manage to land him?" another one of your coworkers arches a brow, "because never in a million years would i have--"

"i'm with her because i love her," lewis cuts in, his kindness rapidly dissolving into a polite yet firm tone, "it shouldn't matter what she does for work, or if she's an influencer or model. fuck, she could be unemployed and i wouldn't care. i love her for who she is. that's how she 'landed me.' she's absolutely wonderful. now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to go over to the bar."

your coworkers' eyes widen, their mouths clamping shut as lewis dips his head, motioning for you to get up. his hands grip the back of your seat, tugging the chair toward him. rising to your feet, you take his hand, fighting to maintain a straight face.

once you were out of earshot, lewis clears his throat, "how about we ditch this and go out to eat? how does that sound? we could go to that one restaurant you have been begging me to take you to."

"are you sure?" you press, "i don't want to make you feel as if i dragged you all the way out here only to stay for--"

"don't worry about it love," the driver leads you toward the exit, carefully discarding his suit jacket, "here, you'll need this. it was a bit nippier than i expected out."

as he drapes the jacket around your shoulders, you can't help but feel your heart swell, bliss rippling in your chest. taking your clutch out of your grasp, he holds onto it, clicking his tongue.

"a beautiful woman like you should never have to hold her bag. let me flag down the valet, and then we can go out. just you and me, yeah?"

the corners of your lips twitch, curling into a meek smile, "i would really like that."

"then it's settled," fishing his phone out of his pocket, his eyes scan over the sign resting on the podium, dialing the number for the attendant, "just so you know, people may snap some photos while we're out. are you okay with that? is it going to bother you? if so, then we can just go back to your place and order some--"

"i think i'll manage," you can't help but giggle at his concern, "as long as you hold my hand, i'll be fine."

"oh my love," a hand drifts toward your cheek, cupping it. the pad of his thumb caresses your cheekbone, the driver's heart fluttering as you nuzzle into his palm.

"your celebrity boyfriend loves you very much. you know that?"

"i do," you nod, "and i love my celebrity boyfriend. oh so much."

lewis leans in, his lips nearly on yours. his eyes lock with yours, his nose studs glinting as your head instinctively tilts back, anticipating what was to come next. he catches the shimmer of stars bursting in your depths as the tip of nose brushes yours.

"i'm not sure how much longer your celebrity boyfriend can contain himself. especially when you're so fucking stunning. i can't bear it a second longer. i need you."

"then kiss me," you counter, "and if someone sees, oh well."

"oh yeah?" he taunts, "you want someone to see?"

"maybe," heat rises in your cheeks as his lips tease yours, "maybe it's time that people know lewis hamilton has a girlfriend."

a chuckle rings out, lewis bringing you closer as the valet turns around the corner, the car approaching closer and closer.

"oh my love, i think it's time the entire world knows."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[bluem1lls]

HEYY, I LOVE UR WRITINGG

i have an idea where thanos flirts with reader and immediately reject him, giving him a dirty look or just being rude to him. se-mi is around there so when reader sees her their entire expression changes, giving her a smile or something like that idk 😭

it doesn't have to be exact to that, just take the idea of u like it and use it however u want!!

✦ content: short fluff, how you met your girlfriend at the game while rejecting her friend!

✦ authors note: thank you so much! i was just rewatching and i kept thinking about this idea so i wrote a short fluff, i hope you like it! thank you for your request♥️

⋆｡°✩ ever since the games started, you've been along player 120 and player 095. until the third game, where you lost them out of sight. as you heard "group of 5", you kept thinking that maybe this was your last round.

⋆｡°✩ i mean there was nothing else to do.. right?

⋆｡°✩ until a girl pulled your hand, and somehow you ended up in a room with a purple hair guy, his weird best friend, this girl and a guy who seemed to be her friend.

⋆｡°✩ she leaned against the wall, catching her breath, crossing her arms on her chest while staring at you. she has nice piercings.

⋆｡°✩ "well, well, well... look at what the wind brought us. a new friend" the purple haired guy spoke, looking at me. "i'm thanos, and who brought this pretty thing?"

you rolled my eyes, trying to copy the brunnete's position.

turning your head to look at her, her piercing gaze stays on you.

"thanks..."

"se-mi" she introduced herself.

"i thought i was about to die out there, thanks se-mi" i said to the girl.

she nodded, thano's best friend chuckled.

"we've been trying to get her name for days, but a pretty girl shows up and that's the first thing she tells her"

i snort as she rolls her eyes and scoffs, mumbling something that sounded like "idiot".

⋆｡°✩ of course you couldn't stop talking to her after the third game ended.

⋆｡°✩ eating with her, chatting and even laughing. it was easy to forget about everything when you were with her.

⋆｡°✩ but sadly, you could never find her alone. if she didn't had min-su following her around, thanos and nam-gyu were teasing her. so that meant you always had to chat with them too, as you tried (really hard) to get her alone.

⋆｡°✩ "doll face, came to hear your boy throwing a few lines?" thanos said getting closer to where me and se-mi were sitting down.

"oh my god" i covered my face as i hear her laughing. "i like talking to you so much, but i dont know if it's worth... this" i pointed at thanos.

she smiled, her arm sneaked to rest on my shoulders.

"it's worth every penny. althought you may wanna tell him that you're not really going for boys" she whispered in my ear. i softly laughed as i stare at her. she's so pretty. and her friends so annoying.

"prettiest girls in the planet, listen out, this one's for you-" thanos started.

"listen" i cut him mid-sentence. "you're such a fun, amazing guy" i said, standing up and placing my hands on his shoulder. "and i bet any girl would be so lucky dating you"

he nodded, proud of himself, as se-mi stared smirking.

"but i think there's something that would make you even a better person" i said looking at him, straight in the eyes. "leave to a corner and please let me have ten minutes alone so i can flirt with se-mi"

⋆｡°✩ his expression quickly fell as se-mi and nam-gyu snorted.

"so im not about to be your boy-"

"you're not. i'm not into guys, thanos. but you're...so...nice"

⋆｡°✩ he quickly understood. apparently. at least he went away along with his best friend. it was more than enough.

⋆｡°✩ "so.. can we go back to the flirting part?" se-mi said, her smile never fading as she played with her lip piercing.

"yeah, i think we finally can" i said, dragging her to sit with me in one of the beds.

⋆｡°✩ no need to clarify anything else. the guys understood when the next time they saw you, se-mi was hugging you from behind, resting her chin on your shoulder.

⋆｡°✩ se-mi couldn't stop teasing thanos for falling for two times for two lesbians girls, which always ended up with him telling her how he'd release a rap called 'revenge is sweeter than girls' against her once they were out of here.

⋆｡°✩ you believe him. you'll hear more about it once you're out of here, holding your girlfriend's hand.

[minnietrys]

Determination

◯ Cho Hyun-ju x Fem! Reader

△ Alt!Universe— Setting her determination as first she manages to call in hopes of your promise

▢ just a cute phone call :p (give me date ideas)

Cherish

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Thank you for all the support on cherish so here is the longer await part two ^^

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Deep breath, you’ve got this. Hyunju thought as she stared at your phone number, she can call you she can definitely do it. But what stopping her? Is it the thought you of not answering? Or what if you’re busy and she calls at the wrong time? What if you think she is a scam caller and block her?

Groaning in frustration she buries in face into her hands rethinking the wonderful moment you shared yesterday. Bringing a smile to her face she peeks though her fingers and get one more good look at your number but while scanning the paper her eyes land on the heart again.

Blushing and biting back her smile she sighs in delight. This is a good thing your finally coming out of your shell she thought to herself while she reaches out for her phone yet again.

Pushing in your digits she decides to put her determination first. Her determination of cherishing you. Her determination of finally and hopefully being happy.

Press call…it’s ringing…

“Hello?” A tried but delicate voice answers. It’s the voice she remembers from the coffee shop that said she was going to keep her sugar hostage if she didn’t text.

Trying to form words she lets the most embarrassing thing come out.. “Your sugar right?.”

“Huh?!?!” Hyunju immediately slaps herself on the forehead upon hearing your shock…what did she just say..?How can she mix up your name with sugar? How do you feel? Because basically someone you probably don’t remember just called you sugar…

“Umm…did you maybe get my phone number from a hooker called sugar?” She could hear your giggles but she won’t steep that low to get a hooker’s number.

“I’m so sorry..it just you told me to text you if not your going to keep the sugar hostage but then I asked if I can call you and you yes if I did I can buy you coffee but then the sugar stayed in my mind so I called you sugar.. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean that.” Hyunju rapping that out of mouth with a cry of embarrassment in her voice. She wanted to bury herself six feet under right now.

“Ohh Hyunju Unnie!” You said with excitement and relief wait did she just say she didn’t mean it…

You hear a hum on the other line but you quickly cut it off “So I’m not sugar..?” You asked in a teasing tone in hopes of getting the reaction you want.

“Yes ofc your sweet and kind like sugar but It’s just that I didn’t—” you can hear her panicking over the other line but she stops once she hears you laughing… smacking her lips she asks “are you teasing me?” You could almost hear her expression drop.

“Oh of couseee NOT! “ she can basically she your nose grow like Pinocchio though the call, though she may not know much about you. You’re not a good liar, you’re by far one of the worst and that makes her happy. Because everything that went down yesterday seems to not be a lie.

“Hmm if you say so, but say your the best kind of sugar” Hyunju couldn’t help but bite her lip as she tested the water with that tho you couldn’t help but smile and giggle “You are way more flirtatious than I thought” you had to admit.

“So you been thinking about me?” She couldn’t help but smile while holding but a small screech.

“Oh…I guess it’s my turn to be embarrassed.” you couldn’t help but feel the blood rush to your cheek but continued “Though your one of my best thoughts I do have to say.”

It’s was now Hyunju turn to feel the blood rush to her cheeks and she just froze meanwhile you screamed into your pillow scaring your roommate.

“Y/N! What happened” youngmi came running in with a broom looking like she was go attack if needed but she just saw you yelling into your pillow about admitting something.

Trying to catch your breath “I just admitted to someone very very pretty that’s she my best thought” you whined out “isn’t that a good thing?” She questioned while her face scrunched up. “I don’t know maybe! I mean I just met her a few days ago.. and I don’t wanna be pushy you know?” she saw your lip trembling again so she just threw the broom at you tried of your shit and snatching your phone.

“Hello, I’m so sorry my roommate y/n is stupid when it comes to people her type. Though I should mention please take her away, you can keep her.” wait ‘her type’ does that mean Hyunju is your type? Is that why you’re thinking about her?

Trying her hardest to not overreact Hyunju thinks fast for a reply “Um I can’t promise you that? What if she doesn’t want to?” Like come on Hyunju just can’t keep you because someone told her though she won’t mind. What is it that you want I mean if you want her to keep you she will.

“Oh trust me, she does…” youngmi says while side eyeing your overreaction. “You would be supporting a great cause!”

“What cause?” Hyunju said with curiosity like what in the world can that benefit. “The youngmi stress free cause!” She said out loud aimed at you to hear but all that happened was more screaming from you.

“I don’t think I’ve heard of that cause but I can for sure take her out for coffee, lunch, or dinner.” She might have been too scared to mention “date” cause who knows if it’s too early for that word.

“YOU HEARD THAT STUPID YOU GOT A DATE!” Well so much for too early. But what Hyunju heard next bought a big smile to her face.

“What!! Really?!?! All that manifesting work!”

“Hey stupid, guess what” youngmi said with an evil smirk causing your smile to drop.

“Is this another joke..?”

“Nope, you still on call with your soon to be girlfriend and you yelled all that” youngmi couldn’t contain her laughter anymore and passed you back your phone as she left your room.

“So um..about that date? This weekend?” You asked with hope of her not canceling after that whole ordeal. But all you heard was a beautiful giggle “you’re so cute, but yea this weekend.”

You both spent the next few hours getting to know each other bit better before your big date but when it was time to say goodbye the only thing you both could do was pout and promise to text each other till the weekend once you see each other again.

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Pass me those date ideas >.< did I proof read no… so if you saw any mistakes I’m not sorry I was enjoying watching hyunju edits

[wstviewvidal]

cabernet sauvignon- w. maximoff

pairing: rich!wanda x reader

summary: jealousy leads to beautiful beginnings

a/n: hi!! final chapter of dirty cash. i’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to read this series! i’d be so happy and excited to do any one shots u guys may have ideas for!

minors do not interact

wanda’s day leading up to dinner was nothing short of frantic. she’d spent the entire day before deep cleaning her whole house, afraid that you’d end up in her medicine cabinet somehow or inspecting every crevice of her house. that thought lone had her spending hours crouched underneath tables, standing on stools, even using a micro brush to ensure there was no dust on any surface of her house.

it’s been a week since she took you and your niece out for a girls day. she went home giddy that night and sent a dinner invitation to you as soon as she parked in her driveway.

so, here she was trying her best to find the perfect outfit that looked put together but not too try hard. she stared at the pile of rejected clothes laying on her bed, teetering the fine line between excitement and frantic.

she groaned silently and threw her head back, “why don’t i have any clothes?”

her entire room was in disarray, shirts haphazardly thrown on her bed and jeans laid out on her desk chair. she pulled out piece after piece, holding each article of clothing up to her body in the mirror before throwing it away.

she spent the next twenty minutes scouring and searching for an outfit, only to end up with a blue and white striped button down and dark jeans— an everyday uniform for her.

hi! i’m at the store grabbing wine, do you need anything from here before i head your way?

wanda’s phone chimed with a text message from you and she immediately picked up and read. she smiled down at the message, her heart blooming with warmth at the sight of your name in her phone.

no, everything’s ready! just drive safe.

the next few minutes consisted of wanda fluffing pillows and angling picture frames in an aesthetically pleasing way. taking a few deep breaths, she calmed herself down when she saw you pull into her driveway. she straightened her shirt out and smoothed her hair, taking a deep breath.

but when she saw your car pull into her driveway, all her cool evaporated into thin air.

you didn’t even get the chance to knock on her door before she opened it for you, a wide grin on her face.

“hi,” she breathed out, her grin someone becoming wider now that she’s laid her yes on you, “come in.”

so you do.

and her home is beautiful. you take in the smell of food, the movie playing in the background, the pictures adorning her wall.

you turn to look at her, “your home is beautiful.”

although your body angled toward her, your eyes are too busy looking over how her home is decorated. all the while, wanda is frozen in time at the sight of you. you seem to be enamored by the cozy atmosphere she’s built, and wanda can’t help but be enamored by the way your eyes twinkle in awe.

smiling, she moves toward you to grab the bottle of wine, “thank you. come into the kitchen so we can eat,” your fingers momentarily brush against one another, but wanda didn’t let it linger too long— her nerves getting the better of her.

you follow her, watching wanda’s brown hair flowing gracefully behind her as she leads you further into her house. walking into the kitchen, you’re hit with the rich savory aroma of her home cooked meal.

you take in the smell, letting out a small sigh, “didn’t know you could cook,” you tease as you look over her shoulder at the red hued dish on the stove.

wanda scoffs, glancing back at you in faux offense, “of course i made this! what, you think i can’t cook?”

you nod playfully, your lips curving into a mocking pout, “oh, i know better now.”

wanda smirks subtly, giving you a once over, “good,” her eyes drag over you for a moment before returning back to the stove.

her voice drops slightly, her tone carrying a tease— you can’t help but flush at the way she looked at you. the air between you is warm and charged, you can’t help but wonder what tonight could lead to.

the two of you plate the food and sit at her kitchen table, soft music playing in the background. the light from the overhead fixture casts a comforting glow around the room.

as wanda’s speaks, you watch as she fiddles with her rings, a nervous habit of hers you’ve picked up on. you can’t help but let out a small giggle in amusement.

wanda’s brows furrow, “what’s so funny?”

you shrug nonchalantly, “you’re nervous,” you say matter-of-factly, “you’re normally not like this,” you lean back in your chair as you analyze her.

tilting her head, she she narrows her eyes at you, “i’m not nervous.”

raising an eyebrow and scoffing softly, “so you’re lying to me now?” your voice has a playful tone to it, and it works— wanda visibly loosens up and her lips twitch into a smile.

she rolls her eyes and stays quiet, her cheeks a soft shade of pink.

you side eye her a bit, then nod in agreement with her, “okay, then you’re not nervous.”

she begins to chuckle, “you’re impossible, you know that?” her smile widens and she shakes her head at you.

“maybe,” you quip, your your teasing grin widens.

the playful exchange lightens the atmosphere and wanda’s nerves slowly work themselves out. wanda glances over at you, her expression softening— almost like she’s trying to memorize this moment. for the first time tonight, you wonder to yourself if she’s feeling as caught up in this as you are.

the dinner is filled with easy conversation, the two of you laughing over shared memories and you gazing at wanda when she isn’t looking.

nearing the end of the dinner, you look over at wanda, “this was amazing, wands,” you say gently as you look at her, “you’ve been holding out on me. i had no idea you could cook like this.”

wanda props her chin in her hand, smiling as you thank her for the meal, “in all honesty, i didn’t think it’d come out this good,” she admits softly, “i just think it just tasted better because you were here.”

caught off guard, you blink. the warmth in her voice feels intentional, not overwhelming, but it makes your heart race. she takes a sip from her wine glass, acting as though the moment was not meant to linger.

you two sit on her couch, sipping the wine you brought over. wanda turns her attention to you, “i’m really happy you came tonight,” her voice low and sincere, “i can’t remember the last time i enjoyed dinner this much.”

you tilt your head at her, noting the way her words felt more meaningful than casual, “what, dinner with your exes wasn’t this thrilling?”

you knew you were possibly crossing a line and fishing for something you didn’t want to catch. part of you wonders if you’re treading too close to something vulnerable.

wanda smirks, a playful light in her eyes as she looks at you, “dinner with my exes involved a lot less conversation and a lot more… awkward silence,” a soft laugh bubbles up as she recalls how she couldn’t have meaningful conversations with them like she has with you. she picks up her glass, looking over the rim at you as she takes a sip, “but you? you make it easy.”

wanda watches your reaction with a laugh, shaking her head at how easily flustered you can get. the red on your face is hard to ignore and you can feel your ears hot.

she laughs lowly once more, “you’re easy to fluster.”

before you can recover, she changes the subject, not allowing you the chance to recover, “so, does this mean i’ll be having you over more often for dinner?”

you clear your throat, putting the wine glass down on her coffee table, “i’ll have to be back. i may need a second round to make sure this wasn’t a fluke.”

wanda nods, a smug smile on her face. internally, she was celebrating and already planning for next time. but outwardly she’s nodding and leaning her cheek into her hand.

“didn’t take you for the demanding type,” she says, her tone laced with amusement.

rolling your eyes, you face your body towards her on the couch, pulling your legs beneath you, “i’m not demanding, i’m thorough. there’s a very big difference.”

tilting her head, she narrows her eyes as if she’s analyzing you, “don’t worry, i noticed it after we spending time together,” she looks away from you, her voice dropping a few octaves, “but it wasn’t the first thing i noticed.”

you watch her as she looks away from you, noticing how she flirts but never pushes too far afterward. you decide to change the subject.

“wanda,” you say causally, “how do you know jesse?”

wanda raises an eyebrow, clearly caught off guard, “i don’t,” her fingers fiddling with her necklace, “valerie mentioned her at the aquarium. why?”

nodding along, attempting to sound unaffected, “i just didn’t think i she’d bring her up, that’s all.”

wanda tilts her head, noticing your sudden mood change, she places a soft hand on your own, “don’t worry about it,” she brushes the topic off with ease, “besides, i have my own share of exes who like to linger.”

you snap your head toward her, eyebrows furrowed, “linger?”

wanda hums, a smug smile tugging on her lips at your reaction, “matter of fact, one of them texted me yesterday. she wants to get dinner this week.”

your jaw tightens before you can even help it, “that’s nice,” your words comes out clipped.

wanda fights the urge to laugh, reveling in your reaction, “yeah, i haven’t responded yet. who knows?”

she watches you as you hum and busy yourself with the movie playing in front of you two, but your concentration is far too deliberate to be real. she knows she should ease your worries— she could, but something about the face that you don’t want her to go is making her heart flutter.

you get up to leave a short while after the movie ends, helping wanda clean up the living room you two lounged in.

wanda leads you out, a familiar hand on your back as always, “text me when you get home please.”

you nod and smile up at her, “of course,” wanda looks at you with a grin and twinkling eyes.

she lingers, her contact with you not wavering, her eyes tracing every detail of your face with a deep smile. before you can even think better of it, your arms loop around her neck while her hands find a comfortable spot on the sides of your waist.

you pull back slightly, looking into her eyes, unsure if you should speak your mind. wanda looks down at you, her heart beating rapidly at the contact with you.

“wanda?” you say, almost silently.

“hm?” wanda can hardly focus on anything other than the fact that you’re holding onto her and looking at her with a lovestruck smile. her heart is pounding so loudly she’s surprised you can’t hear it. there is no denying the tenderness behind her expression.

you notice as her eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, a subtle smile on her face as she gazes into your eyes.

“don’t go to dinner with your ex,” you say rather quickly, “please.”

an amused grin appears on wanda’s face as she holds you, tilting her head, “why?” her face inches just the slightest and you can feel her breath on your cheek.

you’re unsure if you’ve crossed a line, but the way she’s looking into your eyes so intensely— the way she’s holding you gently makes you throw caution to the wind.

you don’t answer her question with words. instead, you lean in, hesitation for just a brief moment to see if she pulls away. she doesn’t. her lips meet yours, softly, tenderly even, as if she’s been waiting for this moment.

wanda doesn’t pull away. instead, her hand presses softly against your lower back, pulling you in. she holds you close with such tenderness that it makes your heart ache. when you pull back, her grin is still there, but this time it is softer now.

your cheeks flush,“don’t go to dinner with your ex,” your voice is steadier now, “please.”

wanda’s grin softens into something more sincere. her thumb rubbing against your waist absentmindedly as she nods, “okay.”

she speaks simply as she watches you sigh, as if the decision was ever in question.

wanda leans in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, her lips lingering like she doesn’t want to let you go, “text me when you get home.”

you nod, your hear full as you step back, awaiting when you can see her again.

wanda watches you leave, leaning against her doorframe with a giddy smile, her bottom lip in between her teeth. neither of you say it, but you both know it’s different now. there’s promise there, a promise of something more.

finally.

[jaggedamethyst]

circuit breaker 🔬🌌 (part two)

tutor!jayce talis x reader college au

content: reader recently decided to get a physics tutor...it's time for the first session with jayce talis

notes: walk with me and suspend ur disbelief in the actual physics talk...i have to make it somewhat believable that they're actually having tutoring sessions so i dug into the crevices of my brain for old physics topics that aren't too hard if you know them...if you don't..hopefully jayce makes sense LMAOOOO. but i will try not to do too much physics that it takes you out of it, i just want to build the tension and relationship. just trust me.

again mentions of neurodivergence/adhd references but that’s it really

word count: 1.9k

series masterlist

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Ekko was your longest friend—the closest one you had. He understood your brain even more than Viktor did, which was saying something. Since the day the two of you met in middle school, you became accustomed to one another. You knew each other like the back of your hands—which is why you knew he’d be so upset right now.

Immediately after leaving the student center, you scrambled to the dining hall. You and Ekko had a standing lunch date every day unless one of you said otherwise. There wasn’t always anything to say, but the idea of each other’s company comforted you—comforted him. He had been adamant that even if you two sat in silence, worked on classwork, or simply watched something on your phones, that the time was well spent.

Ekko valued these meetings in particular after his last girlfriend. You didn’t talk about Powder much…but he was devastated when she left town. The three of you had been friends for a long time…she’d abandoned you too. Acknowledging how much harder it may have been for Ekko was hard. You were forced to pick up the pieces and it started with daily check-ins over lunch. They stuck. 

You spotted him sitting alone, sipping on his drink through the glass. You tapped on it softly, getting his attention, waving.

He lit up when you approached the table, “Funny seeing you here.” Ekko looked at his watch dramatically, “Almost thought you couldn’t tell time for a second there.” 

“I am so sorry.” You moved to sit, pulling out the chair across from him. “I got caught up at the student center, needed a tutor for physics.” 

Ekko watched you reach and grab his bag on the table. He rolled his eyes knowingly—you were going for the fries of course. 

You continued, “Viktor recommended this guy, his lab partner.” 

Ekko nodded, “Thats great…but I’m also good at physics ya know?” 

“Oh yes, I totally forgot to ask my best friend to be my tutor. My best friend who knows I cannot stay on topic to save my life…wants me to ask him to be my tutor…so we can definitely not work on physics for the entire session.” You paused, a fry just on your lip, “Besides, I didn’t really have a choice.” 

“Okay first, I would be a great tutor! And second, what do you mean, didn’t have a choice?” 

“Viktor kinda just…led me there?” 

“So you didn’t have a chance to get yourself worked up and find a way to not go…great tactic on Viktor’s part.” 

There was a silence, but never uncomfortable when you were with Ekko. You smiled to yourself at that, and then about how surprisingly well the first meeting went. 

“He seemed nice…Jayce…my tutor.” 

Ekko reached into his bag, grabbing his sandwich. “Am I sensing a but?” 

“No, actually. He just seemed genuinely invested in me not feeling bad when it comes to sucking at school.” You paused, rubbing your hands in a napkin. “He said we could work on making it all seem more interesting…which I liked.” Ekko still hadn’t unraveled his sandwich, listening intently. You watched him observe you, but not speak up. “What?” 

He shook his head, “Nothing…that’s great.” 

The rest of your lunch was spent quietly recounting your days, not much of note happening otherwise. Eventually, you parted ways with an unspoken yet understood promise that you would see each other tomorrow. 

Your first session with Jayce was also tomorrow. That was on top of everything else you had to do. So much to be done…such little time, you thought. 

The following day came just as quickly as the previous had ended. You woke in a frenzy, almost always rushing to and from one class and toward the next. Then, to tutoring. 

You stumbled in, looking for any familiar face. You were met with only one, Jayce’s. He stood quickly, grabbing a folder and his bag before approaching you. 

“Right on time.” He turned, walking you toward a room off to the side. “This will be the office we use, I requested one with a white board.” He glanced back at you for affirmation before speaking again. “If you ever come for our meetings and don’t see me in the lobby, you can just come in here.” 

“Sounds good.” Your lip curled at your voice coming out more weak than you expected. You had to admire your own consistent ability to embarrass yourself, truly. 

He stepped back, allowing you to walk in first, again. “So…I printed these forms out for you.” He opened the folder, taking out some of the pages and spreading them on the table. “This is the basis for everything you’ll need to know about physics. There’s legends here, conversion charts, some of the greek symbols you’ll need to know, circuit diagrams, acronyms…everything.” You slowly sat in your chair, observing the filled pages. Jayce noticed you looking between the table and him with wide eyes. 

“This is a lot of information…” 

He finally sat down. “It is…but we have time to get you up to speed.” 

“But there’s these quizzes.” You looked down at the table, tapping a finger lightly against the wood. “Every week we have to prove we understood the concept and I am already weeks behind so it just keeps building on things I didn’t even understand to begin with. I don’t have time, I have to pass the quizzes so I can pass the class and keep my scholarship. If I lose my scholarship, I can’t pay for school and I’ll have to drop out. And all of this over stupid fucking physics and a professor who seems to want to ruin my life specifically.” You finally took a breath, “I can’t do this.” 

“I think you can.” 

Your eyes snapped up, meeting his. The look on his face seemed sincere—as if he truly believed in the statement. Hardly knowing you at all, he had enough faith that you could, in fact, do this.

“So,” he clasped his hands together. “What’s this next quiz on? What’s the topic for the week?” He got up, grabbing a marker from the white board’s small shelf. He looked at you expectantly, a brow arching as if to ask you again. 

“Vectors.” 

He nodded, “Okay, and what confuses you about vectors?” 

“Well, I feel like I’m pretty good at understanding angles. But as soon as we add in speed or velocity I am just…confused.” 

“Let’s start there.” He wrote the words speed and velocity on the white board in broad strokes, leaving space beneath each. “What is speed? Don’t think about it too hard.” 

“How fast something is going?” 

“Exactly, like a car.” He drew a makeshift car, and an indicator of both miles and kilometers. “Velocity is different.” He sketched a quick graph, a simple y and x axis and an arrow. “Velocity indicates the direction of an object.” His hand followed the trail of the arrow he drew, emphasizing that it was in motion. “So, velocity is the only one that actually would be considered when you look at vectors. Speed is just a number…velocity represents a change in position…which is what vectors do.” 

You grimaced at his attempt to make it make sense for you. The effort was appreciated, truly, but it didn’t stick. You feigned understanding, nodding your head in an attempt to get him to move on and explain more. This was common for you. Something wouldn’t make sense, but you wouldn’t want to hold everyone up, to be a burden. So you would sit in class, half listening, half in another world. After class, you’d be forced to scour videos about the very subject the teacher had spent class time explaining. Unfortunately that was a rabbit hole, too, as you would always end up on videos that had nothing to do with school. 

His eyes narrowed, not believing that your nod was enough of an indicator that you understood. “Come with me.” He moved to grab the papers for you, stuffing them in the folder and sliding them to you. You followed without a thought, trying to match his steady pace. He lead you to a nearby park down the street and sat his bag underneath a tree. You copied, placing your bag down beside his. It was impossible to not feel awkward, and yet, he persisted. 

“Okay stand here,” he pointed a finger to a random spot on the ground. Your feet stood perfect on the space where the asphalt and grass met, one foot on each side. “So just imagine that standing here, you are the bottom of a line graph along the x-axis. He moved his hand side-to-side, palm down, reminding you that this would be the horizontal line. Hotdogs and hamburgers. You remembered the silly phrase from elementary school. 

“Okay, standing here…x-axis.” 

He walked over to the grass side, “Okay, over here…in the nice green grass…this is positive.” He walked over to the asphalt, “I’m on your left now, on the asphalt…this is negative.” 

“…Okay.” 

He walked to mirror your position, one foot on each terrain. Then, he slowly stepped on the grass. “Without thinking about numbers, how would you describe what I just did.” 

“You…” Your brows furrowed, “You walked to the grass?” 

“Right, and that is-“ 

“Positive?” 

“Exactly.” 

In a split second, he darted over to the asphalt. “How bout now?” 

“You ran to the…to the negative?” 

He nodded, meeting you back at center again. He smirked at how quickly he’d even come up with this demonstration. “This is an example of how vectors work. When you think of me running somewhere, picking up my speed, but moving to the quote unquote ‘negative,’ this could also mean that from my original position-“ 

Your eyes lit up, “You moved backwards?” 

“Yup, or even down. On a graph, I mean.” He smiled with each word, amused by how you caught on to his unorthodox teachings. “But if I move slowly and to the ‘positive’ side?” He waited for you to answer.

“You…moved up or to the right.” 

“Just like a point on a graph.” He stood, hands on his hips. 

You were on the edge of every word he spoke, analyzing his every movement. You knew it was inopportune, but it was rather characteristic for you to lose focus right then. Jayce’s eyes were…interesting. Your first instinct was to say that they were yellow. When you looked closer you noticed the border of dark brown, the flecks of hazel and copper. It was unlike anything you’d ever seen. You got so caught up, you missed his hand coming up—leaving it lingering in the air. 

“What,” he questioned, “Do you not like high-fives as encouragement?” 

You chuckled, finally meeting his hand with yours. “I actually prefer snacks as encouragement, but this works.” 

It was his turn to laugh, then. It was short-lived. You followed his line of sight to see the same woman from the resource center, the one he’d been so enraptured by. Rightfully so; she was even more beautiful than you thought. The sunlight hit her skin just right, almost glistening. You gulped, somewhat intimidated by her presence alone. 

She reached you both, immediately giving Jayce a hug before turning to greet you. 

“Hey, how’s the tutoring going?” She nudged the man beside her, looking to you for an answer. 

“It’s going well,” you glanced at your phone screen, shit. “I actually should get going, but today was really helpful, thank you Jayce, bye.” 

You shuffled to grab your things as quickly as possible, avoiding the look of surprise on Jayce’s face. It didn’t really matter, though. 

Ekko was going to be pissed, again. 

part three

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (08)

chapter eight: ships in the night

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; i’ve been told this is the angstiest chapter yet saur yk you’ve been warned, mentions of past seggsy times, oc is self-deprecating self-sabotaging, oc has an anxiety attack in this one, erhm just Big Sad overall methinks, also could've been more edited but i am a godless monster word count: 7.2k note: wt is backkkkkk!! and it's the penultimate chapter omg :( lowkey nervous about how this is gonna be perceived bc i feel like my brand is Sad™️ and i haven't properly written anything Sad™️ in a WHILE. but yeah, wt8 is yours now have funnn. also ty chessica @matchannie for proofreading!!

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

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Sorry, I know that comment wasn’t funny Just wanted you to love me, but I didn’t go about it right Sometimes the best advice that I can give Is to bite my lip and listen with my big fat mouth shut tight

big fat mouth - Arlie

You don’t think you can ever forget the look on his face, the hurt in his eyes when the words had tumbled out of your mouth in a panicked frenzy. The regret was immediate, but so was the damage.

Saying things you didn’t mean, watching Minho so utterly defeated that it kills you, and the deafening silence after he had walked away from you on heavy footsteps – you can’t describe how it all felt that night. It’s just… sinking, and sinking, and sinking; endlessly spiraling in an ocean of your own guilt and despair. It’s true what they say – misery loves company.

Distractions don’t work, because whenever that overwhelming dread eases by even a fraction, you’re once again reminded by the bracelet that’s wrapped around your wrist with the tiny dove charm hanging on the side. Neither of you paid it any mind the other night, that much is clear.

You know you should return it to him eventually; it’s never belonged to you and it never will. But every time you go to take it off, you can’t bring yourself to simply undo the clasp and hide the bracelet somewhere you can’t see. It lets you delude yourself into thinking that you haven’t lost him even after what you said, even after you stomped on his heart and left it bleeding where you stood. 

You’d been upset, thinking that you were the only one falling, terrified that you’d crash headfirst into the cold, hard ground because there’d be nobody to catch you. And yet, when Minho told you he loved you, it provided you no relief at all. The fear magnified tenfold, taking over you until you couldn’t see straight, until it consumed you whole.

Home is something you find, and you’ve found it in him. Your sun and your spring and your home, and everything good that you can ever name.

All your life, something is always missing, an empty space that you never learned how to fill. Like when you exit a room and there’s a nagging feeling in your gut telling you that you’ve forgotten something even though all of your belongings are accounted for. Like when you lose your favorite ring, one that’s a little too loose but beloved anyway, slipping over your knuckle without your permission and disappearing forever, and you keep running your fingers over where the golden band used to be until you come to terms with the fact that it’s never coming back and you’ll spend the rest of your life mourning the loss of that familiarity.

You’ve always looked for things you lost in places you’ve never been.

You just want to go home, but you know you’ll only ruin it in the end.

The problem has never been Minho or anybody else. It’s you, and how there’s something intrinsically wrong with you. You paint the ending before there’s even a beginning. You’d rather run and hide than let yourself feel anything, because if there’s happiness then there’s going to be hurt inevitably.

You don’t want him to wake up one day and look at you like you’re a stranger, to realize that he’s wasted his time and effort, that you just weren’t worth it after all. 

It’s funny how, when you’re a child, time seems to move so quickly. One minute, you’re four, maybe five years old, and your mother is refusing to speak to you because she thinks you ruined one of her bags, a large scratch running along the otherwise smooth leather surface like it’s been met with a pair of scissors or simply accumulated on her way to work and she hadn’t noticed until she got home and you happened to be in the vicinity of her anger; the next, she’s letting you relish in all your favorite desserts, cavities be damned.

One minute, you’re being rushed to the hospital with a bad case of food poisoning, your parents staring down at you as if you’re actually about to die; the next, you’re already at home, watching cartoons that you couldn’t understand but you like anyway because they’re full of pretty colors and princesses and fairies.

You don’t remember how your mother came to forgive you for the bag even though it wasn’t your fault, or what the hospital felt like or if what the doctors and nurses did to make you feel better even hurt. You only know that you wish to return to a smaller version of yourself whose memories you can’t even recall, return to a time in which you once so desperately wanted to escape from.

Now, when you’re hurt, time doesn’t pass in a blink of an eye like it used to. It stands still, sucks you down a vortex and makes you feel everything. 

No one ever really warns you about growing pains, that they’re unavoidable no matter how hard you try to avoid them, that they can last a lifetime because you never really stop growing, and it never really seems to ache any less.

Hyunjin: Attachment: 1 Image. Hyunjin: i sent this one in  Hyunjin: u??

You’d almost forgotten about the exhibition until Hyunjin had sent you those texts. Even though you’re not one to neglect deadlines, you suppose it’s fairly reasonable that this one in particular had slipped your mind. You haven’t really been able to wrap your head around that many things after all.

Every semester, yours and Hyunjin’s department rents out a gallery near campus for a whole week to showcase students’ works. It’s nothing exclusive, nothing like a competition where they pit a couple hundred kids against each other just for a spot at a fancy art gallery. Almost anyone in the Faculty of Arts can register before the submission deadline, and you suppose that’s another reason why you’d overlooked it so easily – because you didn’t earn it. It didn’t feel special. It was just another meaningless event to attend.

Regardless, you spent a chunk of an afternoon pondering your selection though it didn’t matter that much, almost two hours dedicated to picking out paintings you realized you didn’t love. Some you even turned out to hate, even though you could remember the pride radiating from you the moments the canvas had felt the last brush stroke. Maybe the glamor eventually wore off, the momentary high that coursed through you when you’d shown your finished works to your professors and peers, and received showers of praise in return.

The piece you chose in the end wasn’t your favorite by any means, but it was one of the only pieces you could still bear to look at without nitpicking too much. It was a painting of the waters, and you’ve always loved the waters.

You could recall the day you went to the promenade by yourself with a need to be away from everyone and everything, and an overshirt that was too light to combat the September evening chill as summer transitioned into fall. You watched the sky slowly darken after the sun had disappeared from view, watched as the buildings on the other side of the river lit up one by one until they made up for the light that retired for the day.

The thin layers made you shiver – the consequence of your poor choice in clothing that night – but there was something about sitting by the waterfront after dark, kicking pebbles around underneath your feet, and the gentle caress of the wind on your face and your hair that made the cold feel welcoming. You always thought the city was more beautiful at night, more calming amidst all of its perpetual chaos. It made you feel like you were inside a dream long forgotten, took you back to a north star that you left to gather dust on an abandoned shelf.

You could recall wanting to dive into that dream again, a dream in which you could chase a perfect version of you that would never exist and find light at the end of the tunnel, instead of returning to the reality where you always wound up suffocating in darkness. You wanted to be free, free from the noise and free from your own life despite one simple truth that you knew all too well – that you could run but never from yourself.

When you were young, it’s the moon that used to follow you everywhere. As you get older, it’s all of the things that keep you up at night.

You could recall your phone buzzing to life in your bag with Minho’s name on the screen, like a sign from the universe saying “Hey, this one’s for you. Don’t drown. You have a lighthouse.” and it was as though he could sense that you were falling, like someone had tied your heart to a rock and threw it into the very river in front of you to sink to the bottom. Your friends often said he had some sort of sixth sense when it came to you. Maybe there was some truth in that.

His voice pulled you out of it, even though he only called to ask if you wanted to come over and eat the boatload of food his mom had sent. He made you want to disappear a little less and in that moment, it was enough.

You left your hiding place to go to him, to lose yourself in stupid jokes and not-too-sweet desserts even if it was only for a couple hours. And when you returned home that night, everything spilled onto the canvas just from memory alone, from the feeling that you were desperately clinging onto with your shaking hands.

You always thought you could only run away to places. You didn’t know people could be escapes too, and somewhere along the way, that was what Minho became to you — your treasured escape, your new hiding place.

You manage to avoid everyone – with the exception of Hyunjin; you do have to see him in class after all – over the two and a half weeks leading up to the exhibition, drumming up excuse after excuse to bail whenever any of them asks to grab a bite together or just to simply hang out. If they saw you, they’d notice your puffy eyes and ask if you’ve been crying. They would ask why, and you can’t find in yourself to make up a lie believable enough for that kind of question.

You think Hyunjin has noticed. He’s a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he’s not stupid and he’s still blessed with the gift of sight. He doesn’t mention anything though, despite you showing up to almost every class with puffy eyelids. You suppose you’re grateful for that.

Minho hasn’t talked to you at all since that night. Doesn’t ask you how your project’s going, doesn’t ask you about the exhibition, barely even speaks in the group chat, not even a boring comment about the weather. What were you expecting anyway? You get it, you do.

But despite the silence, you never doubted that he would show up to the exhibition. If not for you, then he would be there to support Hyunjin.

The only person who really has an inkling that something is wrong is Jess, when you were getting ready together earlier tonight and she helped you conceal your puffy eyes. She’d tiptoed around the question before settling on  asking “Everything okay?” — simple, easy, quickly dismissible if you didn’t feel like sharing.

You didn’t, and she dropped the subject because there was no point in badgering you for answers anyway. 

Chan picked the both of you up afterward, and Jess didn’t have to explain anything to him when she slipped into the backseat with you instead of riding next to her boyfriend.

Now here you are, standing in a room full of your friends and peers, wearing a black dress that Jess helped you choose, and Minho is nowhere to be found. You’d spent all day pacing around, anxious at the mere thought of seeing him and even talking to him. What you hadn’t anticipated was the disappointment, the unbearable feeling in the pit of your stomach in response to his absence. You can’t tell which is worse; maybe every moment without him all sucks the same.

When Hyunjin starts whining and takes out his phone to spam Minho’s messages demanding his location (you’re thankful that it didn’t have to come to you), all he receives in return is a measly “Running late.”

And that’s it. A mere text is enough to satiate everyone’s curiosity. Well, everyone but Hyunjin, because he’s still a nagging drama queen.

Minho is running late, and to anyone else, it’s the most normal thing in the world.

But to you… it means something beyond that. Because this was him. This was your Minho. Your Minho who’s never been known for his tardiness, who’s never once broken a promise, who’s always there for you no matter what.

All you know right now is his absence, and it makes you sink.

You sink, and then you wait. Not a lot to be done about it.

You slip away to a quiet spot, a vacant hallway, to be by yourself while everyone is out there wandering around and gorging themselves on the free food and drinks. You shouldn’t be with them anyway. All you need is to wallow in peace and not be the black cloud hanging over everybody’s heads.

There’s something so incredibly lonely in the act of waiting. Waiting to board a plane, waiting in line at the grocery store. Waiting for a phone call or text message that you know won’t come, waiting for a person whom you can only hope would show up. At the end of the day, that’s what waiting is, isn’t it? It’s wanting. It’s hoping, and if there’s one thing you know about hope, it’s that it’s dangerous.

You wonder if this is how Minho felt all this time, waiting on a girl who’s always prepared to leave. You wonder if, that night, he had expected you to reciprocate his feelings. You did. You do, and a part of you wanted to tell him that you loved him too. The words were there, and yet…

It’s true that you love him, and it’s true that you don’t want to. If hope is dangerous then love is fucking terrifying. 

He’d been so patient with you, so awfully gentle and quiet in the chasm of his waiting that you mistook the tenderness for everything except for what it actually was – love. Or perhaps you did know. Maybe deep down, you knew that you would’ve loved him back with everything you had, with every fiber of your being. That you would’ve let him be the only one to ever really know you, and it felt like a fear greater than you could bear. 

In the end, did you lose him? Can you lose something you never had? It wasn’t a love that you let slip away; it was a what if.

You’re in a room with people who love you and yet, all you can think about is Minho. You miss him so much that it feels like someone has spliced you in two, that it physically makes you ache every second that he isn’t with you. As selfish as it sounds, you want him to walk through the door and you want everything to be okay again. You want to be back in a bubble with just the two of you and a locked box filled with words unsaid. You thought you could stay in that bubble forever, where it was safe and you could pretend that you were happy, and maybe you really were happy with him. But all things — good or bad — must come to an end. The bubble burst, and this was the real world.

You want to undo your cruelty, want him to take back his sincerity. You want an ocean of distance between you and him, you want to pull him as close as humanly possible. All your wants are contradictions. You’re a paradox of puzzle pieces that never seem to fit together.

You want to tell him that it hurts. Want him to make it better because he’s the only one who can make it better.

But miracles rarely happen and there are no shooting stars in sight. Minho was the closest thing you got to a shooting star, burning across your night sky for just a brief moment. Blink and you could miss it. Blink and you did miss him.

Your fingers find his contact in your phone before you could stop yourself, and soon enough, you’re pressing the call button. It’s like drunk dialling, only you aren’t intoxicated. Or maybe you are; maybe you’re under the influence of his absence and how much it stings.

You don’t know why you’re calling him, don’t know what to even say when he picks up.

Thankfully, you don’t have to wonder for long.

“Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. Please leave your message after the tone,” comes the automated voice on the other end.

For some reason, you don’t hang up. You wait for the beep, then you wait some more. It’s not until ten seconds later that you find your voice, the only thing to come out of your mouth is a quiet Hey.

You clear your throat, rub the sweaty palm of your free hand on your dress. “Hey,” you try again. “It’s… me. I’m at the gallery with everyone. Uhm, they’re all waiting for you. Are you on your way? Are you stuck in traffic? Or did you forget it was today? Hyunjin is trying really hard not to blow up your phone–” You pause to chuckle dryly. “But you know it would mean a lot to him to have you here. It… it’d mean a lot to me too if you were here. I don’t know, I assumed you’d come. I’m sorry, that was stupid of me. I just…” Another pause. This time, it’s so that you could take a breath. “Listen, Minho, I didn’t mean what I said to you. I’m sorry I was an asshole. I’m sorry that I hurt you, I don’t have any excuse for that. You deserve better than me. It’s going to pass, you know? I’m sorry if you’ve wasted your time on me, but… you’re going to find someone else, and you’re going to get over it. I’m sorry I fucked everything up. It’s fine if you never want to talk to me again, just please don’t let it get between you and our fr–”

The line beeps again. “To replay the message, press 1. To save the message, press 2. To delete the message, press 3.”

You purse your lips together. There’s still a lump in your throat and no peace to be made. It’s like drunk dialling, only you pull yourself together at the very last second. Your thumb hovers over the dial pad on your phone until you eventually end up on 3, because your cowardice will always triumph in the end. Back to square one. Everything’s still the same as it was five minutes ago.

You force your legs to move, like how you'd force yourself to get up and eat and drink water and shower and be a person these days. When you round the corner, you bump against something solid. A person. The collision isn’t hard enough to knock you backward; they weren’t moving, they’d only been standing still.

You look up at Seungmin, who merely blinks at you. You don’t know how long he’s been here, if he heard anything at all. You swallow once, considering whether you should just play dumb and gauge his reaction or ask point blank if you’ve been caught. He beats you to the decision though.

“You and Minho,” Seungmin says, a bit hesitant, like the topic is weird to bring up. “You’re the girl.”

A deer in headlights, you are. A pathetic one at that, too.

But even then, you’re not panicked, not really. You’re just sad, and the truth was bound to come out eventually. 

“Please don’t tell anyone,” you say.

The discarded voicemail that he overheard, the dejection written all over your face, the silence from both you and Minho recently — it’s obvious to pretty much everyone, and Seungmin is smarter than most.

He opens his mouth and shuts it again like he’s choosing his words. The Seungmin-esque blank stare melting away to make space for some pity, then a question, “Is there anything left to tell?”

You escape to the empty garden in the back where there were a few lonely chairs set up, so you could have some privacy to talk. Despite everything, it feels like you’ve got a little breathing space, just being able to share this with someone. To not have to carry it all on your own. You’re glad that it was Seungmin who found out first. You have a feeling that he would understand, at least to some degree. You’re relieved, even when the first question that he asks is, “So, how did you fuck it up?”

“Why do you just automatically assume it was me?” You’re mildly offended, even though he’s right.

“Between you and Minho, I’d bet on you.” Seungmin shrugs. “You spook easily.”

“I deeply resent that notion.”

He turns to look at you, no trace of any teasing. “Can you prove me wrong?”

But you can’t, and it tells him as much when you avert his eyes in favor of the ground, where you kick at a lonesome pebble sitting among the grass. It lands somewhere between the green blades, lost in the shadows that cast over parts of the garden that are poorly lit.

“So what happened?” he asks, turning away again to stare out at the empty space. You like to think of it as him giving you some elbow room, to ease the pressure of being scrutinized. And as much as you appreciate it, it still takes you another brief moment before you can formulate a coherent sentence, another minute of twiddling your fingers in your lap.

You tell Seungmin about your first night with Minho – not the details, of course; that would be weird and it’s none of his business. Just that it happened, how you both let it keep happening over the past few months while nobody suspected a thing.

Seungmin nods solemnly, like he’s putting together the missing pieces.

“Did you ever notice anything?” you ask.

“I mean… not about you hooking up, but we thought you’d end up together eventually.” He shrugs. “We always kinda assumed that you two would become those people who make a pact to get married if you’re still single by 40 or 50, if you didn’t get together before then. It makes sense. You and Minho just sort of make sense.”

“Oh,” you say. Your heart swoops. Hearing it from Seungmin makes you sad. Not the same brand of sadness that you’ve been wearing lately though. A different kind, the kind of sadness that’s a little numbing and makes it difficult to breathe. “Well, sorry to disappoint everyone but I don’t think any of it is gonna happen anymore.”

“So… how did it happen?” Seungmin asks again, mimicking explosions with his hands.

You let him off easy without a punch in the shoulder, because you just really don’t have the energy for it right now. “Minho wanted something more,” you tell your friend, fiddling with the rings on your fingers, then with the necklace charm resting on your collarbone. “And I just… I don’t know. I guess I freaked. I… said some awful stuff to him.”

Seungmin hums a sound of acknowledgement. He looks like he’s thinking about it, about you and Minho and what it means. “Classic,” he chuckles after a brief moment, mostly to himself. Maybe he’s thinking about what it means beyond just the pair of you too.

You side-eye him. “You’d know all about it, wouldn’t you?”

He shoots the glance back at you. “What are you trying to say here?”

You remember her, the only girl that Seungmin has ever hinted at liking. He never admitted it out loud to any of you, but you could all see it.

You only used to see her in passing at house parties, and even then, it wasn’t Seungmin nor her who brought the other one around. They would show up separately with their own group, mingle for a while, find each other after a couple of drinks before they disappeared to god-knows-where for the rest of the night. Sometimes, Changbin or Hyunjin would catch them before they could sneak off and insist that Seungmin let everyone get to know his friend.

These brief interactions are all you have with her, meaningless small talk for a few minutes before Seungmin’s patience ran thin and he whisked her away like they’d both intended. You liked her; she was nice, and she was really pretty. You liked her even though you didn’t know her, because she was the one person who Seungmin cared about enough to keep away from prying eyes. A secret shared only between the two of them, a bubble in which only they existed.

The last time you saw her with him must’ve been at least three months ago, maybe even longer. No one really knows what happened, just that she stopped showing up to parties, and Seungmin never brought it up again. You all assumed whatever he had going on with her had run its course, though it doesn’t really stop Hyunjin and Jisung from mentioning her every now and again just to tease him.

“I seem to recall a Halloween party last year and a certain someone was in a bee costume and–”

“Fine,” Seungmin interjects, rolling his eyes. “Fine, we can form our own dumbass club. Happy?”

You laugh a little, even though the whole thing isn’t very funny. Your shared experience is nothing to take pride in.

“So how did you blow it up?” you ask.

He gives you a sour glare before his eyes soften. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and in his silence you find that you and him are more similar in ways that you’ve never cared enough to admit before. This sadness that you carry, you have a feeling that he knows it all too well.

“Like I said, classic,” Seungmin tells you. “She wanted something more. I freaked. I ghosted her.”

A mirror. Two sides of the same stupid coin.

You lean back against your seat. “Did you like her?”

It takes a beat, but his answer comes out as an honest, “Yeah, I liked her. Liked her too much.”

“Why did you do that to her then?”

“Why did you do that to Minho?” Seungmin deadpans, but he doesn’t seem to want a response from you. He just sighs, wistfully adding, “I’ve thought about it a lot. It’s scary to be wanted because it means someone’s putting you on a pedestal, and when you’re on a pedestal, the more it’ll hurt if you fall off. The more they’re counting on you to not let them down, the easier it is to fuck it all up. People like us, we’re flight risks. We can’t help it. We think it’s better to just leave before we can do any real damage. When you said whatever terrible shit you said to Minho, that was the first thing you thought about, right? To be cruel? That’s what I did too. Such a fucking stupid knee-jerk reaction.”

You don’t know how to respond, so you just sit there, completely still. 

Then Seungmin turns to you, and for the first time in all the years that you’ve known him, he’s looking at you, really looking at you. No snarky side-eye, no playful faux glare. Just a strange and unfamiliar sincerity, like he’s asking you to fix what he couldn’t, undo the cruelty that he never bothered apologizing for.

“Minho would understand, you know? If you’d just talk to him,” Seungmin says. “You made a mistake in the heat of the moment. But you want to have something real with him, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be here talking to me about this and beating yourself up over it.”

“I told you. That ship sailed.” And you’re standing up for no apparent reason other than the fact that you’re suddenly restless, your stomach twisting in knots out of nowhere. “He’s not even here. He didn’t even show up tonight. I think that’s saying enough.”

Your friend rises to his feet too, probably because he thinks it’s weird to be the only one sitting now while you’re upset and pacing about. It’s not until Seungmin takes a step closer that you realize you’re shaking a little.

“Hey, you good?” He puts a hand on your shoulder. “I talked to Minho yesterday. He said he’d come. Maybe something came up or he just–”

Hyunjin’s voice interrupts Seungmin in the middle of his sentence, the excited squeal carrying itself from all the way inside the gallery to the back garden through the door left ajar. Speak of the devil and he shall appear, maybe there’s a reason why people say it. It’s laughable, really.

You and Seungmin both turn your attention to the brief commotion indoors, where you see Hyunjin smiling so big that his eyes have crinkled into crescent moons, where he’s standing with his arm thrown around Minho and shaking him by the shoulders.

These days, it’s easy to pretend that time is standing still. You don’t even know if time is even passing at all; you’re just looking at him, dressed in a black blazer and some dress pants. Casual but he looks good. He always does.

You watch as he says something to Hyunjin that seems to calm the latter down a bit, at least enough for Minho to quickly scan the room, searching. You watch as his eyes sweep through all the people gathered inside, not stopping until they land on you, finding you on the other side of the glass door. Even in this terrible lighting, not entirely visible you assume, he sees you.

There was a conversation you had with Minho some time ago, when you two were sprawled out on your couch munching on strawberry Peperos and not paying attention to the movie that was playing on your TV, when he asked how you wanted your life to be at 40.

You knew what the boring answer was – you wanted your life to be stable, and you told him as much. Isn’t stability always the goal? Maybe a lame corporate job if the whole starving-artist-who-makes-it-big-overnight dream didn’t pan out. A cat and a dog named Mochi and Mocha, if you could afford two pets at once. An apartment that you owned, with framed pictures of everything you loved scattered all over the place, and stupidly cute fairy lights that you often see on Pinterest, and an unfathomable amount of plushies that your inner child was never indulged in. A peaceful and quiet life, at least to some extent. 

The honest answer, the one that you didn’t tell him, was you wanted to not live with regret.

But as you lock eyes with him, for a split second there, you know that you will.

About twenty years down the line, when you look back on your life and think of this chapter, you’ll think about a boy who loved you and whom you loved. How you broke both of your hearts trying to protect your own. You’ll wonder if he’s married, if he has kids, if he still reminisces about the girl he used to love when he was young. If he’s happy and if his dreams came true. If the sadness you caused yourself was worth it, if the pain meant anything at all. If you could go back in time and undo everything, would you?

You’ll get over it eventually – surely you will; heartbreak isn’t the end of the world – but you’ll live with the grief of what could’ve been if you weren’t afraid. You’ll be left to mourn the road not taken, your almost but never was. 

You’re the one who moves first, when it starts to become a struggle just to breathe. You stumble away from Minho’s line of sight, until you find a wall that you can rest against.

Seungmin is quick to follow. “Hey, woah, are you okay?”

Your hands alternate between balling themselves into tight fists and attempting in vain to grab at the flat surface of the concrete. There are no words that you can form to answer him. Only your ragged breathing and your pathetic effort to take in some air through your mouth.

“Okay, shit, uhm,” Seungmin sputters. “Hang on.”

Then he’s taking off. You don’t know how long he’s gone for, where he’s gone off to, and frankly, you can’t really bring yourself to care. Your hands abandon the wall in favor of your dress, something that you can actually hold onto. Your trembling fingers clutch the hem of your dress like they’re pretending it’s a lifeline, bunching and twisting the fabric in your sweaty palms. Hoping it’ll help, but it doesn’t at all.

Even over the sound of your heartbeat ringing in your ears, you could hear new footsteps coming out into the empty garden. Rushed at first, then they stop for a brief moment. You know who it is before he even approaches you.

Damn that Kim Seungmin.

The familiar scent of his cologne greets you before his voice. You spent hours and hours enveloped in this scent until it was dulled by sweat from the activities you were engaged in, if it wasn’t already softened by the kisses you would leave all over his skin.

When he calls your name, it comes out so soft, like you never broke his heart in the first place and that night was only a figment of your twisted imagination. He sounds so gentle, yet it sends you further down the crippling spiral. You don’t deserve him; maybe you never did, despite what Seungmin tried to put through your head earlier.

“I’m fine.” But you know your appearance has already betrayed your words. The first thing you say to him in weeks, and it’s a lie. You’re still leaning against the wall with your arms wrapped tightly around your trembling frame and your eyes squeezed shut. It’s a pitiful sight. Even more so when it registers in your brain that it’s Minho of all people who’s witnessing it. 

He doesn’t say anything else, only lets out a sigh, and then his hand is on your body, a warm palm touching the small of your back out of habit before he moves it upward to rub between your shoulder blades. “Can you breathe?”

His question makes you all too aware that there’s something gnawing inside of your chest, makes you think for a second there that you’re going to die though you know that you won’t. You shake your head with your eyes still closed, your breathing coming out more ragged by the second. You can’t even bear to look at him and absorb the worry in his eyes; you’re sure you’ll only cry if you do, and it’s the last thing you need right now.

But it turns out that seeing Minho’s face isn’t the only thing that can bring you to tears. When you feel him tug at your arms, his warmth on your bare skin, you start crying anyway and that makes it even harder to breathe. There’s not a single ounce of resistance in your body, your limbs obeying him easily when they untangle themselves around your waist to fall by your sides as he pulls you into his chest, with one hand over your sternum and his thumb rubbing back and forth. He’s careful about it too, like he’s handling broken pieces of something that used to be beautiful.

“You’re okay,” he says, but you’ve got your face pressed into the crook of his neck and your tears are staining the collar of his shirt. “You’re gonna be fine. Just… listen to me.”

You stay quiet, waiting for him to speak next.

“Name three things you can see,” he says. “You don’t have to say it out loud. Just think about it.”

You open your eyes finally, angling your head until most of your vision isn’t obstructed by the proximity of his body. Minho tightens his arm around you, and you blink away some of the tears.

Your black heels that your mom got you for your birthday a while ago.

The grass, darkened green and damp.

Him. 

“Three things you can hear.”

Light chatter coming from inside the gallery.

Cars passing by on the adjacent street.

Him, the sound of his breathing.

“Three things you can touch.”

The soft material of your dress against your skin.

The bracelet, hugging your wrist, weighing you down like an anchor.

And… him.

Him, him, him.

You don’t know what reason Minho makes up to excuse you for the rest of night, but you don’t bother asking. There’s really no space left in your head to think about it twice, to care about leaving your friends or feel guilty about Hyunjin because he was so excited about today. It’s too much; all you want is to go home, get away from here.

Minho calls you both an Uber back to your place. During the entire ride, he doesn’t say a word and neither do you. And even though you mostly opt for looking out the window at the other cars and houses and people passing by, every now and then you could feel his eyes on you from the other side of the backseat.

When you arrive, he keeps a hand on the small of your back as you make your way up the stairs. When you unlock the door, you leave it open so he could follow you inside. You suppose that one is a force of habit. You’re not used to shutting the door in his face. At least, not in the literal sense anyway.

Then it returns, that gnawing feeling. A feeling far too colossal for your body to house. It sits somewhere inside your ribcage, sharp and desperate, with claws trying to dig its way out. And for the first time in maybe ever, you understand what it truly means to want something this badly. You love him, and it hurts. You love him even though it hurts.

Minho moves around the place while you remain frozen in the middle of your own apartment, as if he’s the one who lives here and you’re just visiting for the night. You let him take off your makeup (with a wipe; you’re going to hate yourself in the morning), let him help you change into clothes that you can sleep in, even let him tuck you into bed like you’re a helpless child. If he notices the bracelet on you, he doesn’t say anything. Everything is done in silence.

You don’t look him in the eye. You don’t think you can handle what you’ll find there.

But you do reach for his hand when he tries to leave now that there’s nothing left for him to do here. There’s not a single thought behind your action, just a need to have him near.

“Can you…?” 

You aren’t brave enough to finish the question, your voice trailing off and the words dissipating like smoke after a lonely cigarette drag. You’re being selfish right now, you’re awfully aware of this.

Minho doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even let out a single sigh. For a second there, you think he’s about to leave you here, cold and alone, just like you had done to him. It would be nothing less than what you deserve.

But then he’s shrugging off his blazer and your heart is in your throat. When he slips into bed beside you, something hurts, the kind of ache that spreads all across your chest and makes your lungs burn.

Earlier tonight, he could’ve walked away and let you be somebody else’s burden. Your friends were all there, it’s not like they would’ve left you stranded.

You’re not really sure what to think. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hate you, but maybe it’s just enough confirmation that he doesn’t hate you more than he loves you.

You break the deafening stretch of silence with a whisper, “I’m sorry.” You don’t know what the apology is for. Are you sorry for that night, for the things you said to him? Are you sorry that you’re only yourself, that he just had to go ahead and fall for you of all people? Sorry that you’re too much of a coward and a lost cause to love him right? You don’t know, but it feels appropriate to apologize. You owe him that much.

“Don’t…” Minho says after a while. “You don’t have to do that.”

The familiar sensation returns – the one that stings the back of your eyes, burns your nostrils and makes you all choked up. You try to hold your breath and will it away, but the first tear spills without your permission, and you can’t help the shaky inhale – close to a gasp and followed by a sniffle – that punctuates your lungs when they start protesting against the sudden lack of oxygen. 

You grip the sheets so hard you think you could rip through the fabric and dig into your own palm. It’s a pathetic feeling, like a strange kind of embarrassment that you can’t quite describe. The room is deadly quiet; you know there’s no way he didn’t catch the noise.

You hear Minho shift from where he lays behind you, some rustling when he moves against the duvet and the mattress. “Don’t cry,” he sighs. And it’s still so gentle. You’ve never known him to be anything but gentle.

You bite the inside of your cheek, blinking some of the tears away. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Just… don’t cry.” It sounds like he’s holding something back but you aren’t sure. “Don’t cry. Go to sleep. We can talk in the morning, if you want.”

You sniffle some more, and maybe that makes Minho think he still needs to appease you even further. He reaches out finally, to brush a comforting hand against your arm. “Go to sleep. Promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You don’t know if you want to talk in the morning, because there’s nothing for you to say. All you really have is what he’s already heard – I’m sorry, like an utterly broken record. But you want him to stay even if it’s only for the morning. Even if all he’ll get is silence at best and choked up breaths at worst. Your last-ditch attempt at grasping straws, a futile effort to chase running water.

“Okay,” you tell him, and neither of you says anything afterward. The tears keep falling for a while, and at some point it tires you out enough to slip into a dreamless sleep.

When you open your eyes hours later, the sun is already up. The clock on your phone reads 7:06AM and the first thing you register is an uncomfortable dryness in your throat. Behind you, the bed is still warm. You can actually feel it underneath your fingertips when you reach out, the warmth dwindling from the side of the bed that’s been left vacant. Minho has never broken a promise to you before.

He’s gone, and you sink again.

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 08.01.2025]

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Five Times Sirius Black Fucked James Potter and One Time He Didn't

(so @arliedraws posted something along the lines of "Five Time Sirius Fucked Someone in James Potters Life for Revenge and One Time He Didn't" as part of her slytherin sirius AU etc like a million years ago. and i uh...misread that upon first read and ran with it anyway. so here's a little fic no body asked for that seemed appropriate to post on @impishtubist day of birth.

if you've been here for a bit, you may recall when i would post little dribbles as "series", so here is...part 1/5.

please enjoy xoxo)

--

James Potter’s entire body was burning from the inside out. Despite the fact he had just been naked and in several compromising positions moments before, he was now hurrying to dress himself, all too aware of the cool air brushing against his exposed ankles.

Socks. SOCKS. Where in the world did his socks end up?

He grabbed his trousers from the heap on the floor of the Quidditch changing room and tucked in his white uniform shirt. Perhaps too hastily, realizing it was caught beneath the waistband of his briefs, but he could worry about that later. And the wrong buttons on his shirt. And his socks.

It felt obscene, shoving his bare feet into his oxfords.

“I have an extra pair of socks.”

“It’s fine,” James said quickly, running a hand over his hair, debating whether or not to choke himself with his tie.

“You’ll stink up your shoes.”

“It’s f—”

“Stop being a prat, Potter, and just take the bloody socks.” James felt something bounce off the back of his head, and he finally turned around, face hot. Entirely bothered. And Sirius Black, Slytherin Prefect was smirking. Looking all too comfortable leaning against the wall of the changing rooms—the Gryffindor changing rooms, a place he shouldn’t have even been in the first place, but there he was—dark curls falling effortlessly over his cheekbone. Robes folded neatly into the crook of his arm. The pair of socks that he had just thrown on the floor to the left of James’s feet.

“I’ll bring you a pair tomorrow…” James mumbled, sitting down on the bench between the lockers, and taking his feet out of his loafers. Pointedly avoiding eye contact and looking at Black at all.

“Keep them.”

“I don’t want to owe you.”

“Owe me?” he scoffed, “I’d rather have something—”

“No.” James cut him off, pulling up one of Black’s grey socks so far and hard it came up to nearly his knee. The threads tugging at one another between the seams of the cuff. Two neat green stripes on the top, the only tell tale sign that they had been borrowed at all. James could hear Sirius push off the wall, practically hear the eyeroll, watching, waiting for him to come closer. And he did. Expensive, bloody posh, black polished shoes appearing in James carefully averted eyeline. The floor had been such a safe place to look. James steeled himself.

Black always had the unique ability to get the best of him.

Or the worst.

Since first year. When Sirius was sorted into Slytherin and James swore, to this day, he made eye contact with the haughty boy in the Great Hall and something ignited inside of him. An unspoken rivalry with no clear starting point, for either of them.

It was almost instinctual. The desire to get one up on Sirius Black.

Sirius performed well in Transfiguration and James made sure to earn points in Charms.

Sirius was made prefect their fifth year, and suddenly James’s biggest dream was to become Quidditch Captain just to have some kind of badge to show off.

Sirius had more OWL’s than James.

James was better at Quidditch.

Now in their seventh year, James was Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, finally feeling victorious, only to discover that having more badges didn’t quiet the flames as much as he hoped they would.

And one ups turned into meet ups, turned into…

“And here, I thought you had a good time. Did I get that wrong, Potter?”

“I have a girlfriend,” James hissed, though he knew Lily was back up at the castle with everyone else. Celebrating Gryffindors win, no doubt. Where James was supposed to be, with his teammates and his friends, and his girlfriend that he definitely had, before he was rudely interrupted by Black. Stupid Sirius Black and his stupid cheeky smile.

He hated that Black waltzed around Hogwarts like he owned it. Hated that Black stepped foot into Gryffindor territory without a second thought.

Wanted to say congratulations is all, Potter.

He hated his tone.

But Merlin, did James like the way Sirius said congratulations.

“Oh, I see,” Sirius nodded in mock understanding. “Now you have a girlfriend.”

“I mean, I did…before to, I’m just…” James exhaled and stood up.

That was better. Though Black was still taller. And they were so standing so close to one another, James could make out the beauty mark beneath Sirius’s left eye, and the small scar on the top of his forehead, just before his hairline started.

“This was the last time.”

“Alright,” Sirius shrugged casually.

“I mean it.”

“It would mean more if I had not heard it before…”

“That was different,” James said, “That was…” But he couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough to stop Black from smirking further. It wasn’t different. Not at all, but Black didn’t have to be so damn smug about it.

“Mhmm. Alright,” Sirius repeated, with his stupid smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Sirius shifted, hands moving to James’s tie, deft fingers undoing the poorly done knot and retying it carefully. “Just, you know, if I had known it was going to be the last time, really, actually the last time, I would have stepped it up a notch for a proper send-off.”

“Stop talking.” James swallowed, trying to stop his chest from rising and falling so rapidly. Trying to stop for repeating history and going back on his statement all too soon.

Because the last time had to come eventually.

Sirius laughed shortly, aligning James’s tie under his collar and straightening it out. “Enjoy your victory party, Potter.” One of Sirius’s hands cupped James’s jawline, his thumb brushing over James’s bottom lip, wiping away any remnants that they had once kissed.

Touched.

Dissolved into one another.

“Let me know if your girlfriend needs some pointers. I’m happy to—”

“She doesn’t,” James responded, indignantly, cocking his chin upward.

“Alright,” Sirius said with a wink, his shoe making the tiniest squeak on the floor as he turned on his heel, “See you next time.” And Sirius walked out of the changing rooms, leaving James with his heart pounding in his chest.

go to part two

[imaginesig]

In Every Realm

SMAU

Aaron Taylor Johnson x Wife!Reader

Yn is the muse of the brilliant Robert Eggers, she has been in multiple of his films. When she is casted in "Nosferatu" the entire cast becomes family, in some cases literally.

Idea sent by @ateliefloresdaprimavera

ynjohnson

liked by lilyrosedepp, aarontaylorjohnson, johnnydepp, and 928,928 others

ynjohnson always a good day when I get to celebrate family! Lily-Rose I love you to the moon and back!! Have the best birthday ever, you deserve it 🩷🩷

tagged: lilyrosedepp

lilyrosedepp I love you!!!

lilyrosedepp the second photo 😭

ynjohnson moments before we choreographed a Disney dance number

ellefanning Happy Birthday Lily-Rose!!

nicholashoult Have a great birthday Lily-Rose!!

aarontaylorjohnson Happy birthday to the best cousin-in-law I could've asked for!

user1 ugh the best cousin duo ever

user2 I could only dream to be so iconic

user3 imagine showing up to family holiday and you see Yn and Lily-Rose in the corner

user4 and then Aaron Taylor Johnson shows up

user5 what a stacked family

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Twitter--

Instagram--

ynjohnson

liked by user2, robberteggers_, user92, and 983,920 others

ynjohnson oh rumours! How they fly!

tagged: no one

comments have been disabled

Twitter--

Instagram--

ynjohnson

liked by user73, lilyrosedepp, robberteggers_, and 928,029 others

ynjohnson from a fresh faces, young actress to now, mine and Robert's careers have been interconnected. We constantly go back and forth about potential projects and I've had the pleasure to act in for him several times. I am so excited to be apart of his dream come true!!

Lily-Rose, I am over the moon to finally work with you! You are one of the most talented actresses I know and I cannot wait to see your brilliance up close 🫶🫶

Aaron, my love, it is an absolute honor to be your wife in life and now on screen 🤍🤍

tagged: aarontaylorjohnson, lilrosedepp

lilyrosedepp I love you!!! This is going to be the best movie yet

ynjohnson 🩷🩷

aarontaylorjohnson you are such an admirable women, I love you 🤍🤍

ynjohnson 😘

robberteggers_ lets make the movie of the year

ynjohnson hell yea!!

user1 I am way to excited about this!!!

user2 always a good day when Yn is in a Robert movie

user3 also the rest of the cast is stacked

user4 I need it now!!!!

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Time Skip-- Middle of Production

Twitter--

Interview--

Instagram--

aarontaylorjohnson

liked by ynjohnson, user93, arianadebose, and 920,283 others

aarontaylorjohnson "Kraven the Hunter" is in theaters today!!

tagged: kraven_movie

arianadebose 👏👏👏

ynjohnson DAYUM

ynjohnson THATS MY MAN

ynjohnson YOU BITCHES MAY LOOK BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH

aarontaylorjohnson my love, I'm flattered 🤭

user1 they're both insane

user2 matching each others freak

user3 Mrs. Johnson I am looking respectfully ✋🥵

user4 the creme jacket is making me feral

user5 the last pic, he's so babygirl

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Time Skip-- Nosferatu Wrap

Instagram--

aarontaylorjohnson

liked by user5, user93, ynjohnson, and 928,029 others

aarontaylorjohnson post-wrap holiday 🤍🤍

tagged: ynjohnson

ynjohnson best surprise ever!! I love you 🤍🤍

aarontaylorjohnson I love you too my angel

user4 "my angel" SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

user1 ok Aaron, we get it your wife is hot 🙄🙄

user2 he said let me flex real quick

user3 God its me again 🙏🙏

user5 I need this more than life

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ynjohnson

liked by aarontaylorjohnson, user2, and user92, and 928,490 others

ynjohnson get away with my love 🤍

tagged aarontaylorjohnson

aarontaylorjohnson 🤍🤍

user1 not them both posting a thirst trap of the other 💀

user2 and if I was in a hot ass relationship like them I would too

user3 ugh I need him in a way thats concerning to feminism

user4 I'm glad to see they still take time for their relationship/each other even with their hectic schedules

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lilyrosedepp posted a story!

caption: cousins day out!! @/ynjohnson

ynjohnson posted a story!

caption: she's actually my favorite person ever @/lilyrosedepp

Time Skip-- Press Tour

Twitter--

Instagram--

ynjohnson

liked by lilyrosedepp, nicholashoult, robberteggers_, and 948,104 others

ynjohnson press tour is over which marks the end of my official "Noferatu" duties 😭 I will forever cherish this film and its cast!! I eagerly await to see what you all do next 🫶🫶

tagged: no one

Brittany_broski thou shalt not forget thou's final quest

ynjohnson i shan't your majesty

aarontaylorjohnson picture of excellence that final photo is

ynjohnson a real man you are

lilyrosedepp I miss you already!!

ynjohnson 🩷🩷🩷

user1 she's gorgeous

user2 her outfits ate every interview

user3 she was amazing in the movie

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royalcourt

liked by ynjohnson, aarontaylorjohnson, user54, and 928,920 others

royalcourt citizens of Broski Nation, attention! Please welcome to the council Aaron Taylor Johnson, royal ass kicker, four legged freak of the realm!

tagged: aarontaylorjohnson

aarontaylorjohnson a privilege and an honor

ynjohnson MY TWO FAV PEOPLE!!!

user1 omg this was the best video every

user2 they work so well together

user3 the only video on the internet

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royalcourt

liked by ynjohnson, aarontaylorjohnson, user1, and 928,834 others

royalcourt hear ye, hear ye!! A new member has been added to the royal court! Please welcome the fairest maiden in all the land, Yn Johnson!!

tagged: ynjohnson

ynjohnson I've never had more fun in my life!!

aarontaylotjohnson be my princess @/ynjohnson?

ynjohnson in this realm and the next 🤍

user1 this was the best thing ever

user2 between this and Aaron's episode this couple has once again broken the internet

user3 I'm in love with her your honor

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[theartofwoompwoomp]

HELLO!!! This is my first ask here but i just wanted to throw the idea of https://www.tumblr.com/theartofwoompwoomp/770097458415058944/oh-scrap-soundwave-x-human-reader-summary-the having the alternative ending of reader saying that knockout is the hottest? I was thinking maybe instead of soundwave, it would b KO

yk because knockout just IS the hottest i mean LOOK at him!!!

have a good day/night!!

Hello !!! i’m glad you reached out ! I love the idea of making an Alternative version on this. Thanks for the request luv <3

Oh scrap

(Knouckout x human!reader)

summary:the decepticons start talking about who’s the hottest one. alternative to oh scrap. 

————————————————————————

Oh he couldn’t believe it. 

They were seriously going to argue about this ?!

He could care less about others, especially small insignificant human, opinions.

Since the beginning of the conversation it had been nonsense. But the fact they weren’t even considering him in this particular topic irked him.

Everyone knows he’s the best looking bot. Especially out of the decepticons.

Going over, making his presence known as he stands right between the whole thing. “Oh please,” standing tall making everyone look, “everyone knows I’m the best looking Decepticon around.” Smirking at the fact that his poses were proving his point.

“Besides, out of everyone, the humans have chosen to ogle my aft mode the most.” 

His tone proud. Seeing the looks on the others faces only fueling his ego more. Especially Starscreams. 

The con’s wings kept twitching. Seething in fury at his declaration. Only so much was said before the seeker had enough.

Resorting to violence, the both of them were willing to fight both verbally and physically to prove their point.

“Fool !” Launching a fist towards the doctor. “You don’t know what you’re talking about !” His voice screeching as knockout dodged and slightly missed as he tried hitting him with his saw.

The other Cons had to break them apart before one of them pulled out their bigger weapons.

Breakdown holding back Knockout, as Starscream was being held back by various Cons. Only calming down when threatened of them bringing Megatron if they didn’t calm down. 

But such threat may have stopped the seeker from continuing the physical part of the fight but not the verbal part. 

“Hah ! You really think humans would ever think you’re the hottest ?!” Grabbing his attention once more, “We have a human on the ship.” Optics widening a bit, allowing the seeker to continue.

“In fact, they’ve been here the whole time. Yet, not once did they raise their voice to defend you. So how can you be sure the humans truly find you the hottest, not your aft mode.”

He had a point. 

Out of the two of them, only starscream had gotten a compliment about their true form. But what about him? 

Grinding his denta in frustration, feeling his own energon boil. About to defend himself when someone beat him to it.

“HEY! That’s uncalled for ! The only reason I didn’t say anything was because I too busy admiring Knock out in the first place !!!”

Small and fully ready to defend your crush you spoke louder, making sure everyone heard. 

“Knockout.is.the.Hottest. End of story.”

hwat? All eyes on you, heck in normal circumstances you’d stop there, but adrenaline kicking in and annoyance from the second in command’s voice you continued. 

“So don’t you dare continue talking down on my boy, or accusing me of stupidity cause you got another thing coming.” 

Your words shutting up the seeker. No one necessarily expecting that reaction from you. 

You simply left the room, not lowering your head or displaying any doubt in your words. Actually you seemed more annoyed than anything.

But in reality, you didn’t see the look knockout had. Smirking at his victory, he pushed by starscream making sure he stumbled, he strutted off after you. 

Embarrassment only setting in when you reached your room. How could you say that in front of him ?!?? Covering your face, you cringe from your actions.

“So, I’m your boy now~ hmm?”

Crap.

You left the door open. Stupid bot. Stupid talk. Stupid EVERY THING !!! You turn to him, seeing his stupid face and his stupid smirk. 

His optics looking over your every move. Amused at the way you seemed annoyed at him too. But in all honesty all your actions made his spark warm. Knowing where their all stemming from. 

Not letting you walk off, he picked you up and gave you a small peck on the head.

“Well if it makes you feel better, you’re also the most attractive human I know.” 

———————————————————————

masterlist

[airybcby]

hi !! i wanted to request for your most recent event could you do ness with 🧁 and 🍊 ?? i love your writing so much :3 also if the events close please just ignore this! ^^

hi! tysm for giving me the opportunity to write abt ness, i love him!

an alexis ness orange citrus cupcake :)

જ⁀♡⊹｡° let me love you goodbye

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event !

♡ content — alexis ness x gn! reader, gn! reader, ex bf! ness, ness being peer pressured into breaking up, mentions of kaiser (once), pining (ness), reader does try to stay strong, second chance romance

♡ synopsis — when you and alexis ness broke up, it shattered something in you that never quite healed. well, or so you thought.

You hadn’t seen Alexis Ness in almost a year.

After he walked away—after you walked away—it became easier to think of him as someone from a chapter of your life you’d already closed. No texts, no calls, no random appearances at the coffee shop where you used to meet. It was like he’d erased you as easily as wiping dust from a mirror.

And maybe that was for the best.

Because loving Alexis Ness had been all-consuming.

He was kind, soft-spoken, and impossibly thoughtful when it came to you. But he was also impressionable—so much so that others’ opinions carried more weight than they should have.

And when Michael Kaiser told him that you were a distraction—someone holding him back from becoming his best self—he believed it.

He’d tried to explain, of course. Told you how much he loved you, how much it hurt him to let you go, but he couldn’t risk his future. He couldn’t let anything interfere with his soccer career.

You’d cried, argued, and begged him to see that you weren’t the obstacle he thought you were. That you were rooting for him, standing in his corner no matter what.

But it wasn’t enough.

So, when the two of you broke up, it shattered something in you that never quite healed.

When you saw his name listed as your partner for the marriage simulation program, your first reaction was disbelief.

Your second reaction was anger.

Of all the people they could have paired you with, why him? Why Alexis?

But as much as you wanted to march to the program administrator’s office and demand a change, you didn’t. Instead, you gritted your teeth and resolved to survive the next few weeks.

It was just a simulation. Nothing more.

You could handle being around him again.

The first day was awkward, to say the least.

“Hey,” he greeted you at the door of the shared apartment, his voice careful, like he was afraid you’d bolt.

“Hey,” you replied flatly, stepping inside with your suitcase.

The apartment was small but cozy—a living room that flowed into a tiny kitchen, and two bedrooms tucked away in the back.

“Uh, I took the room on the left,” Alexis said, fidgeting with his shirt sleeve. “But if you want it, we can switch.”

“I don’t care,” you said, brushing past him.

The air between you was heavy, filled with all the words you hadn’t said to each other in a year.

The first few days were a study in avoidance.

You spoke when necessary—coordinating chores, reviewing assignments—but nothing more.

The points staring at the two of you in your living room, the bright red number of '2'...only because you'd split the chores. Other couples were already in the hundreds.

It was easy for them, they may have actually liked their partner.

Still, you couldn’t ignore the way your heart twisted every time he smiled, or the pang of longing when he casually said your name, like he hadn’t shattered your heart a year ago.

You told yourself it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. Not anymore.

But then, one evening, everything changed.

The two of you were tasked with planning a mock anniversary celebration as part of the program.

“You always liked candlelight dinners,” Alexis said quietly, glancing at you from across the table.

The words caught you off guard. “You remember that?”

He smiled faintly. “I remember everything.”

You looked away, focusing on the flickering candle between you. “It doesn’t mean anything, Ness. It’s just a simulation.”

“Is it?” he asked, his voice laced with something you couldn’t quite name. Regret? Hope?

Your throat tightened, but you didn’t respond.

Later that night, as you cleaned up the mock dinner, he spoke again.

“I was wrong,” he said suddenly.

You froze, your hands stilling on the dish you were drying.

“About everything. About you,” he continued, his voice breaking slightly. “You weren’t a distraction. You were the only person who ever truly supported me, and I was too stupid to see it.”

Your chest ached as you turned to face him. “Why are you telling me this now, Ness? A year ago, I begged you to stay. I begged you to believe in us. And you walked away.”

“I know,” he whispered, his eyes glistening. “And I’ve regretted it every single day since.”

Tears welled in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “You can’t just say that and expect everything to be okay.”

“I’m not asking for everything to be okay,” he said, stepping closer. “I’m asking for another chance. To prove that I’m not the same person who let you go.”

For a moment, you considered walking away. Turning your back on him the way he had on you.

But then you saw the sincerity in his eyes—the same eyes that once looked at you like you were his whole world.

And maybe, just maybe, you could believe in him again.

The simulation ended a few weeks later, but your story with Alexis Ness didn’t.

This time, he stayed.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt whole again.

the ending is rlly crappy but my brain wasn't working

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[pranabefall]

✸ — MISC NOTICE. ; minors dni. sentinel ! jing yuan x guide reader. a silly blurb for the most part. follows guideverse au concepts and such. yandere warning, i plan on expanding this into a proper oneshot soon enough XD. not edited!!!

it's your boss who issues the final warning after the third turn down. he'd given you a stern talking to, another chance and that repeated statement wedged into your head with corporate manuals and the like.

he's important, he tells you furiously. you can't just turn away from him when he comes to you...and he asks for you specifically. specifically, because he plays games you can't quite understand and inlays his conversations with double meanings and jokes you catch him chuckling over.

you don't know if you want to laugh or cry at the ridicule, at his persistence. but you kept quiet and collected your dues, silently letting yourself into his home after he summons you again.

your coworkers tell you you're thinking too much. the general is a kind man. the twisted do not hand feed finches and let cats nap on their knee. and yet you doubt. you doubt, doubt, keep doubting like it's the air you breathe, like every flex to his arm and every shift of his body is a trap.

( the general is a kind man. yet he does not feel any safer.

most sentinels, to you do not. )

one of his retainers points you to the gardens, and you find him seated beneath tree-cover, mulling over an unfinished chess game and the lack of an opponent. you don't think you could slip away at this point. you don't think you should.

his shoulders are hunched and his cheeks sallow, but he still holds that cheeky light in his eyes. annoyingly handsome. cloyingly so, in ways that make your stomach turn. and those eyes meet yours, and that smile filters through. you freeze and tell yourself not to run.

( that's not hunger you see there, you tell yourself. it's not. )

"good morning." he greets, patting the space beside him. "it's been quite some time, yes?"

you swallow. "yes." you nod, taking your seat just a little ways off. jing yuan looks amused. "it's best we get this session over with. i hope you don't mind general."

his eyelids droop and a languid tremor starts up in the depth of his chest. "mh. you're in that much of a hurry?" he half teases, holding his hand out. "i'd hoped you'd stay for some tea. it's a new brew master du has taken a liking to."

"i'm afraid i cannot linger." you repeat, a little firmer this time. you reach into that plunging darkness, tugging away the corruption that clings to his being with the finesse of threading a needle. guiding was almost second nature at this point, a mindless thing, a near instinct. and jing yuan had much to undo and unravel and pull out.

jing yuan exhales. it's long, deep, relieved almost, scraping to the borders of euphoric. you keep tugging. he lets himself pull into you, his warmth grazing against the apple of your cheek.

"it's taking longer than it should." you choke.

"is it?"

you try not to let the fear in. "sorry." you whisper. it's always like this. jing yuan's unsaid insistence, the desperation buzzing beneath his skin, the almost touches.

it's taking longer to unwind the wringing tendril, nick away at the emptiness and fill it up with something.

he has your left hand press up into his cheek. you want to snatch it back. the corruption comes undone easier though, so you let it stay there, let him touch you a little more than he should. jing yuan seems satisfied with this.

"much better, right?" he chuckles. the pads of his fingers press just above your pulse, taking in the quick paced beat. jing yuan stares long and hard at you.

you still want to run.

"you could say that..." you shove that urge back, lock it away, tell it it's not welcome. better this than feeling those hands elsewhere. the crawling terror may persist, but jing yuan wouldn't hurt you that way.

( "stay a little longer." he mumbles into your palm. "you seem so tired. did you have another long day?" )

...you hope he won't.

[razorblade180]

Archon Ranking

Charlotte:Aether! As a famous traveler with deep connections to other nations and their Archons, I have to ask, *pulls out pen and paper* who do you think the best Archon is among the ones you met?

Aether:…*looks around* I don’t know how, but it feels like they’re listening. I just know it’s going to get back to them.

Venti:*behind a house* Shhh

Archons:*nod silently*

Aether:This question isn’t exactly easy, it’s not impossible. The Raiden Shogun and Rex Lapis are out of the running.

Ei:(That’s fair…)

Zhongli:*slouches*

Charlotte:Well one of them did kick off a civil war, but why think little of the deceased Lord of Geo? Is it because you didn’t get the chance to know him enough.

Aether:…Yes. While I commend his diligence, I fear having such a strict and uncompromising approach to the concept of contracts lead to a few… rather unnecessary predicaments that could’ve been avoided by forming more open and new contracts with his people.

Zhongli:An interesting perspective. One that may or may not hold some merit. I won’t outright dismiss it, but some things must be set in stone.

Furina:Now I don’t mean to criticize such an enlightened individual, but as someone who actually had a national incident set in stone, I don’t think your plan had to have one.

Zhongli:Hmmm

Aether:The others are sorta tricky. I can’t find fault in how Nahida chose to conduct herself. Centuries of isolation by her own people and yet she still helped throughout history. Perhaps it would’ve been simpler for her to take a hands on approach and speak out against the injustices she felt, but she’s still a young and gentle god. I can’t blame her for feeling small.

Charlotte:I’ve read dozens or articles after Sumeru’s liberation. I gotta say some brought me to tears! Though she’s far older than us, I must say I don’t think it’s inappropriate to say asking such a feat is no different than expecting a child to stand up to an adult without ever being taught to do so. If anything, it makes it more amazing that she eventually did!

Aether:I agree. I’m very proud of her.

Nahida:*sniffles* Aw, I see. Suddenly I’m all warm inside.

Charlotte:Am I correct to say you’ve met the god of Anemo?

Aether:….

Charlotte:Off the record.

Aether:Yes. I’ve met them several times. As for on the record, the Anemo Archon may not be present often, his presence is always felt down to the blades of grass. From the very start he made a place made for his people, and lead by his people. A hands off approach not only not only fits the god of freedom, but is beneficial for the common man. Plus, it’s not like anyone feels abandoned. There’s countless records of their god returning to aid in times of need.

Charlotte:Make you wonder if he had any hand in the Storm Terror crisis.

Aether:I wouldn’t put it past them. My glider never seemed to fail a rookie like me when I needed it most.

Venti:*smiles smugly*

Zhongli:You still drink too much.

Venti:Because I have the time. You do too. Some might say, Liyue is more like Mondstadt these days.

Ei:No one is saying that.

Venti:And yet I still find it comical how much a certain someone put into retiring, just to live among his people with a normal occupation.

Mavukia:He…makes a point. To a degree. You both ended in the same spot surprisingly.

Zhongli:Sigh….

Aether: As for Furina and Mavuika… it feels wrong to praise one without the other. The Pyro Archon is a strong capable leader who’s very personable. Her plan was a bit more than crazy, but it had to be to face the abyss. Most importantly, she suffered alongside her people and sacrificed a lot in order to see her plan through. Things nobody should ever have to give up; like being an older sibling. She has my respect. Truly, no one fights alone with her around.

Mavukia:*smiles* If you ask me, he should share some of that praise with himself.

Aether:As for Furina, well, do I really have to tell you about her. To this day, people see her as a the Hydro Archon.

Charlotte:How could Fontainian’s not? Even with the truth discovered, it doesn’t change she’s been prevalent in our history.

Aether:While I don’t think I can say her leadership skills are as astute as other Archons, I personally can’t bring myself to say she isn’t brilliant. Furina did her job to the letter and never compromised it once for the sake of her people despite every single day wearing down her soul until she was in literal tears. I honestly don’t know what’s more impressive. Mavukia has always moved forward without faltering. That takes immense strength. Furina though, she doesn’t have that kind of strength. In a lot of ways, she did break and hesitate, yet she walked forward all the same. It’s both amazing and terrifying. Human Archons sure are interesting.

Charlotte:Maybe it’s our shared humanity that made them so strong in your eyes.

Aether:Maybe, but I think even archons in the traditional sense are more human than some give them credit. For instance, they’re all nosy enough to eavesdrop behind a house.

Venti:Ha, busted…

Furina walks out with a red face and eyes that tried to act serious but failed to do so thanks to their glossy gaze that struggled to hold back tears. She didn’t even know what to say and feared her voice might shake. Before she could try, Aether hugs her. She can only hug him back in frustration. It didn’t take long for Nahida to join. Meanwhile Mavukia and Ei walked out into view simply because there was no need to hide.

Aether:You guys are ridiculous.

Ei:True feelings are typically expressed when the subject isn’t around. I must admit, I wish you had said at least one positive thing.

Aether:No one can ever doubt that you care. Maybe you didn’t express it correctly, and very few people know your grief, but you are a good person. I mean that.

Ei:I appreciate your understanding. Perhaps in the future, many more will share a similar idea.

Charlotte:…*squints* Are the Anemo and Geo archon behind the house too?

Aether:Off the record?

Charlotte:*tosses pen and paper* I can keep a secret! I’ll make a contact if I have to! I just gotta know~

Venti:..*peeks head out* Hello!

Charlotte:I’ve seen you!!! You’re the drunk bard everyone likes even though he doesn’t pay his tab!

Venti:I pay my tab! It just keeps coming back.

Charlotte:*bounces with anticipation* Is the Lord of Geo with you? Hehehe~

Zhongli:…*sticks arm out*

Charlotte:DIRECTOR HU TAO’S FUNERAL CONSULTANT!?

Zhongli:Wha- she knew by my sleeve!?

Aether:I am going to be honest, wearing all brown and having a job that uses your encyclopedic knowledge of history is not a conspicuous disguise.

Venti:I told ya, you might as well of chose to be a miner. There’s dozens of those; much like there’s countless bards! So what if I sing an old song!? Nobody would bat an eye if you were good at digging.

Zhongli:Sigh…

[formula-nyoom]

Stars Racing Past-7

Summary: With the revelation that the slave trader from (Y/N)'s past is on Naboo, (Y/N) and Max must form a plan to put a stop to his dealings. But with emotions running high, is there a chance that (Y/N) may go too far in wanting to see this man be brought to justice?

Warnings: Child abuse, slavery, child imprisonment, minor character death, loose interpretation of The Force and how it works

A/N: I'm back bitches, if anyone still cares about this series. This chapter is dedicated to @elegantweird-orchest who's comments on the last chapter made me want to continue with this series. Turns out this chapter was almost finish when I stopped working on it. But hey, comments and feedback are what keep me going so I was able to finish it. No idea when the next chapter will be out. Hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist

~~~

“Can’t we just go and arrest him?”

 “There needs to be sufficient evidence that this man is a slave trader. I don’t doubt (Y/N)’s recognition of this man, but we are on Naboo and the government isn’t just going to accept a recounting of when she was a child.”

It had been an hour after the market. Max and Kelly were quick to get (Y/N) out of thre and back to Kelly’s house. Now, after Penelope had been put down for a nap, Max and Kelly were arguing on how to approach the situation in regards to the slave trader from (Y/N)’s past. 

 “As Jedi, me and (Y/N) have authority to arrest him.” Max said. He was ready to apprehend the man on the spot.

 “You’re not listening to me Max! Just because you’re a Jedi doesn’t mean you can enforce your authority everywhere without reason.” Kelly said.

 “Senator Piquet is right.”

(Y/N) hadn’t said anything since they left the market, until now. Max and Kelly both looked at her, a bit of shock on Max’s face.

“He could still be in the business of slave trading force sensitive kids. If we go and arrest him now, we won't be able to help those he’s trading. I want to see him brought to justice but we have to be smart about this.”(Y/N) explained.

 “(Y/N)’s right. We can’t be impulsive.” Kelly said, looking at Max.

“I’m just worried about taking too long to confront this man. We don’t know if he’s living here on Naboo or just visiting for possible business. If we wait too long, he could be gone by the time we act.”

 “I don’t disagree with you on that, Max. But we need a plan.” Kelly said. “(Y/N), you know him best, do you have any ideas?”

 The two looked back at (Y/N) as she looked down at the floor. Max could tell that she wasn’t very present to the conversation and turned back to Kelly.

“Can you give us a moment alone?” Max asked her. Kelly glanced at (Y/N) for a brief moment before looking back at Max. She nodded her head and left to go check on Penelope. 

Once Kelly was out of the room, Max walked over to (Y/N).

“Are you ok?” He asked. (Y/N) hesitated in answering before shaking her head.

“No.”

 “I know that this is a lot for you and just seeing the man affected you in a major way. But to be able to stop him, or bring him in, or just bring justice to all the harm he caused you and others in the past…(Y/N) we’re going to need information about him.” Max told her.

 “It’s…it’s just hard. Seeing him again. I thought I would never come across him again…and to see him here, on Naboo…”(Y/N)’s sentence trailed off. Max could see the pain on the girl’s face and wanted to stop the conversation there. But there are things he needed to know.

“How did you end up with him?” He asked. 

 “I don’t know.” was (Y/N)’s immediate response

“What do you mean?” Max asked. (Y/N) looked up at him.

“When you're a slave, you learn to block out most things that are unpleasant or terrible during that time.” (Y/N) said. “But I guess dreams have a way of tearing down the progress I had made, since I keep dreaming about him.”

(Y/N) sighed.

 “So you have no memory of things that happened before that man?”

“The earliest memory I have is when I’m three. I’m sitting in a cage and his face is staring back at me with a cruel smile.” (Y/N) said. She ran a hand through her hair, something Max knew she did when she was frustrated.

“I don’t know where I was born. I don’t know who my parents are. I don’t know if that man took me from them or if they gave me up willingly. I remember bits and pieces of the time before I was sold on Tatooine…but I don’t remember everything of my time with that man.”(Y/N) said. She sat down on one of the couches and looked down at her hands. Max could see the conflicted look on her face. He never asks (Y/N) questions about her past, especially considering the circumstance she was in before Seb and Kimi found her. Max always felt that if (Y/N) wanted to tell him things about her past, she would do so in her own time. 

But not being able to remember one’s past is another thing. 

“Would you…want to try and remember?” (Y/N) looked up at Max confused.

 “What?” Max sat down next to (Y/N) and fully faced her.

“During meditation, Jedi are able to recall things with better clarity. By using The Force, you may be able to remember something you’ve forgotten.” Max said. “And if we do it together, you may be able to show me.”

(Y/N) looked back down at her hands, thinking it over.

“I’m only suggesting this, so that we can be better prepared in facing this man.” Max said. “But if you don’t want to , we can find another way to-”

“Ok.” (Y/N) said, cutting Max off.

 “Are you sure?” He asked her. (Y/N) nodded.

“You’re right. We need to be smart about this.” She told him, but a hint of concern still showed on her face. “We can give it a shot. But Max, some things are best left forgotten.”

“I know. This may not work, but if it does, just know that you can stop it at any time.” Max told her. “You don’t have to show me anything you don’t want me to see.” 

They moved down to the floor and sat crossed legged, opposite each other. (Y/N) took a deep breath before closing her eyes and focusing on The Force. Max looked at her for a second, seeing the calm wash over her face as she entered mediation, before he closed his eyes and started meditating as well. 

Max felt (Y/N)’s presence in The Force and centered his focus on it. He could feel a bit of hesitation from his padawan, but eventually felt that his presence was welcomed as (Y/N) focused on trying to remember. 

(Y/N) didn’t like thinking about the memories she had before Seb and Kimi found her. Those were times when (Y/N) was weak and hopeless, times that reminded (Y/N) of how cruel the galaxy could be. (Y/N) almost felt scared at the thought of delving into her past, her brain blocked out things for a reason. But if she was going to confront this man, she needed a reminder of what she was dealing with.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and focused on trying to remember her life before she became a Jedi, before Tatoonie. 

Something around them seemed to shift.

Max opens his eyes and sees not the (Y/N) he knows now, but a 4 year old version of his padawan standing in front of him. She looks at him confused.

“Max…” 

Her voice is so small

Suddenly the 4 year old version of (Y/N) is thrown against a wall and the surroundings come into clear view. They are standing in a dimly lit room with stone walls and various cages strewn about. If Max were to squint he would be able to vaguely make out a figure or two in the cages. But his eyes are focused on his padawan as she lies curled up on the floor. Standing in front of her is the same man Max saw at the market.

“Pathetic. All that work I did to obtain you and you can’t make a lousy box move!” The man yelled. (Y/N) lets out a sob and the man kneels down in front of her. He grabs her by the neck and slams her against the wall.

 “I’m supposed to make good money off of you. And I can’t do that if your fancy powers are useless to potential buyers.”

“I can do it! Please! Just let me try again!” (Y/N) sobs. She grabs at the hand holding her neck but doesn’t fight to try and pry it away.

Anger boils in Max’s chest seeing how (Y/N) was being treated. He tries to run towards the man, grab his shoulders and throw him to the ground. But Max can’t move. It’s a memory after all. He is just a witness to a memory that isn’t his own. 

The man drops (Y/N). Her sob and the sound she makes when she hits the floor echoes in Max’s ears.

 “Do it again. Make it move!”

Max’s surroundings shift again as he stands in a sandstone building. The air around him feels hot and Max notices there are no windows in this building. 

Max watches as the man leads a couple to one of the nearby cages.

“She’s the best one I have.” He says. Max looks closer and sees a now six year old (Y/N) sitting in the cage, hugging her knees. Bruises littered her arms and she didn’t look up to meet the faces of those that stood in front of her cage.

 “Can we see a demonstration?”

“To prevent any of them from turning loose on me, I have to keep them in these cages that are equipped with force dampeners. You know how powerful “these kind” can be.” The man said, speaking as if the girl caged in front of her wasn’t human. The couple with the man looked at (Y/N) like she wasn’t human. Like she was an appealing product they may be interested in buying.

“How much?”

Before Max can hear the answer, his surroundings shift again.

The only thing that Max can focus on is the man landing a swift kick to five-year old (Y/N)’s stomach. She sobs and the man kicks again.

“That little escape attempt of yours is going to cost you!”

Again Max tries to move his legs, but he is still frozen in place. The man kicks again, harder this time and Max see’s blood fly out of (Y/N)’s mouth. 

“It’s not real (Y/N)! It’s just a memory!” Max yells. “You can make it stop!”

Yelling seemed to be the only thing that he could try and do to get through to his padawan, as he tried to move his legs again. (Y/N) didn’t seem to hear Max as she let out another sob.

 “You should be grateful! Without me, you’d be living on the streets! Hungry and helpless!” The man said. 

What the man said, seemed to spark something in (Y/N), probably with how untrue his words were. 

Before the man could let out another kick, (Y/N) let out a yell and the man flew backwards, pushed away by an unseen force. Max felt like he could finally move and bolted towards (Y/N). He kneeled in front of his padawan and took her face in his hands.

 “(Y/N), it’s Max! We don’t need to see anymore! We can stop!” Max said. Tears streamed down (Y/N)’s face but she blinked them away as her and Max made eye contact. Suddenly (Y/N) is no longer 5 years old, but back to her present day self. She pulls Max close and holds him tight like something is about to tear her away from him at any moment.

The barren walls and horrid cages faded away and soon their surroundings changed to the living room of Kelly’s house and the only sound Max can hear is the sobs of his padawan. (Y/N) clung to Max as she sobbed into his shoulder. He rubbed her back and gently cooed to try and calm her down.

“It’s over, (Y/N). It’s ok. You’re safe.” He quietly said. As much as what Max had seen was helpful, he now wished that (Y/N) had never agreed to go through with it.

“I’m sorry for even suggesting the idea. I shouldn’t have made you go through and relive stuff like that.” Max told her. 

~~~

Max goes back to the market later the next day, intent on finding The Slavetrader. A seed of rage had planted itself in Max’s stomach after what he had witnessed that man do to (Y/N) in the past. Max has half the mind to hunt this man down but he, Kelly and (Y/N) had agreed to a plan. That’s how Max found himself dressed in clothes that Kelly’s ex-husband had left behind. He also doesn’t have his lightsaber, since the clothes he’s wearing doesn’t allow for him to properly hide it. Max hated that he was without his saber, but he needed to look like a foreigner, not a Jedi. 

He was able to find The Slavetrader and followed him all the way to a cantina. Max waited a bit after The Slavetrader walked in before going in himself. It wasn’t a crowded cantina, with it being midday and too early for people to start drinking. Which was perfect for Max and what he was about to do. 

Instead of walking over to the booth that The Slavetrader sat in, Max walked over to the bar and ordered a drink. 

 “You from out of town?” The barkeep asked him.

“Yea. I’m a moisture farmer from Tatoonie.”

 “We don’t get many people from that desert planet here on Naboo. What brings you here?” The barkeep asked.

 “Well, business has been piling up on the farm and it’s becoming too much for just me to handle. I’ve been trying to hire someone to help me out on the farm but had no luck on finding someone on Tatooine, so I decided to look elsewhere.” Max said to the barkeep. Max couldn’t turn around, but he could guess that the man sitting in the booth was listening in on what Max was saying.

 “Don’t know why you would come to Naboo looking for help. You would have better luck back in the Outer Rim.” The barkeep said to Max before moving away to help another patron. Max took another sip of his drink. He had planted the bait, now all he had to do was wait.  

Max heard the sound of footsteps approach him and soon The Slavetrader took a seat next to Max.

“You said you were looking for help on your farm?” The Slavetrader asked as he took a sip of his own drink. It takes everything in Max to not punch the man as soon as he turns to face him.

‘Calm down Max. You need him alive right now to get information.’

The seed of rage burns inside Max but he has to steel himself.

 “Yea. Are you offering to help or know where I can find some?” The Slavetrader smiled. 

“I’m a provider of “special help” for those that need an extra set of hands.” He said.

 “What kind of help?” Max asked, trying to act oblivious. The Slavetrader leaned in closer to Max.

“You know those space wizards who tote about the galaxy, claiming to be bringers of peace?” The man asked, his voice a whisper. Max had to suppress an eye roll and gave the man a nod.

 “I’ve got a couple of kids who’ve got the same ability as those space wizards. They’re really handy when it comes to manual labor, like the work you do on your farm.”

‘What I wouldn’t give to bash your skull in.’ Max thought to himself. He cleared his throat and tried to choose his next words carefully.

 “And what if I was interested in the “extra help” you were offering?” Max asked The Slave Trader. The Slave Trader grabbed a nearby napkin and took out a pen from his pocket. He scribbled something down on the napkin before handing it to Max.

“Meet me at this location after dark if you want to pursue my "wares". The Slave Trader said, before finishing the rest of his drink and walking out of the bar. Max watched him leave, a glare imminent on his face, before looking back at the napkin. 

He now had all the information he needed. And that seed of rage sprouted a bit more.

~~~

After Max had told her that The Slave Trader was still dealing with force sensitive kids, (Y/N) almost wanted to vomit. But at the same time she wasn’t surprised. No one had probably tried to put a stop to this man. But that was all going to change tonight.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Max asked (Y/N) as they waited for some of Senator Piquet’s guards to arrive to act as her protection while Max and (Y/N) were away. (Y/N) gave Max a pointed look.

 “There’s a bunch of force sensitive children being sold as slaves by the same man that sold me. Of course I want to do this Max.” She said.

 “I mean, are you sure you’re ready to face him?” Max asked. 

(Y/N)’s face softened a bit as she hesitated to answer. She sighed.

 “I don’t think I’ll really know until I’m standing right in front of him.” She looked down at the lightsaber in her hand. Max placed his hands on (Y/N)’s shoulders and made her look at him. 

“(Y/N)...you are not a slave anymore. You are a jedi. A brave, strong Jedi. You have the power to face him again.” Max told her. “He can’t hurt you anymore.” 

‘I won’t let him’

(Y/N) looked down at her saber again. One thing she knew was that she was going to put an end to The Slave Trader’s operation. Some would say that (Y/N) was going to take revenge. But revenge is not the way of the Jedi. She was going to bring justice. For herself and for all the other kids that man had hurt. 

With confirmation that there was a child slave trader on Naboo, Kelly was able to get some Nabooian guards to accompany Max and (Y/N) in arresting The Slave Trader. The location given to Max was a closed down packing building in the lesser populated city area of Naboo. (Y/N) wasn’t surprised. He always chose a location away from any presence of authority.

The plan was simple: Max and (Y/N) would go through the front, three guards would enter from the back to try and cover the back exit, while the other two guards would wait at the entrance in case anyone tried to escape from the front. (Y/N) did advise that The Slave Trader may have a couple people working for him, so a fight was imminent.

“Are you ready?” Max asked (Y/N) as they paused in front of the main door. (Y/N) took a deep breath, unclipping her saber and squaring her shoulders.

 “I’m ready.” She said. Wordlessly, she used The Force to open the door and her and Max stepped inside.

A couple men looked up at the two as they entered the room. Hirelings no doubt. There was a brief second of confusion before recognition set in and the men frantically grabbed their blasters and started aiming at the Jedi and his padawan. Max and (Y/N) activated their lightsabers and made quick work of the hirelings, deflecting their fire and sending them into various walls. Though the scuffle was anything but quiet.

“What the hell is going on in here?” The Slave Trader entered the room from an adjoining hallway. He looked at the scene before him, at all the unconscious hirelings before his eyes landed on (Y/N)

The two made eye contact and (Y/N)’s blood ran cold. For a second, she felt like the scared five-year old that this man had once owned. But the heavy weight of her saber and Max’s presence as he moved closer to her reminded (Y/N) that she was not five years old and a slave. She was sixteen and a Jedi. This man was not going to cause her fear any longer.

Recognition dawned on The Slave Trader’s face as he looked at Max and Max couldn’t help but smile at the fear that briefly flashed on the man’s face. 

Before he turned and ran down the hallway he had just come from. 

(Y/N) instinctively bolted after The Slave Trader, with Max right on her heels. The Slave Trader sporadically threw down shelves and boxes as he ran past to try and create obstacles in hopes of slowing his pursuers, but it didn’t do much to stop the two. (Y/N) vaulted over them easily and Max sent them flying back into their upright position. They ran past various other rooms as they chased the man, but they barely caught a glimpse of what was inside, both (Y/N) and Max’s attention were honed in on The Slave Trader.

 ‘You’re not getting away that easily-’

As (Y/N) was running down the hallway, her eyes caught a glimpse of something as she passed a room that made her stop in her tracks. Max crashed into her, not expecting her to suddenly stop but was able to prevent either of them from falling over.

 “Why’d you stop? He’s getting away!” Max urgently said. But (Y/N)’s attention was now on the room in front of her. She moved into the room’s entryway, hoping that what she saw was wrong about what she saw. But the sight in front of her was as real as day.

When Max had told her that there were “a couple of kids”, (Y/N) expected 4 or 5. There were at least 20 kids in this room, all locked up in cages. Max had followed his padawan’s gaze and now understood why she had halted her chase so abruptly.

 “(Y/N)...we can come back for them later.” Max said, lightly tugging at (Y/N)’s wrist so they could pursue their chase. But (Y/N) pulled her wrist away and moved towards one of the cages. 

Inside was a young boy with curly brown hair. His face was dirty and (Y/N) could see a bruise on his cheek. She kneeled in front of the cage and made eye contact with the boy.

“What's your name?” (Y/N) quietly asked.

 “Kimi.” The boy said.

(Y/N)’s heart practically shattered and something inside her started to boil. Anger. Kimi could be no older than 6. The same age (Y/N) was when she was sold. The kids in other cages looked to be of various ages, some younger, some older. It didn’t matter, (Y/N) knew they didn’t belong here.

“We need to help them Max.” (Y/N) said, standing up. 

 “(Y/N), the more time we spend in here, the more time he could escape. The Nabooian guards can help set them free.” Max said. He sounded frustrated. (Y/N) ignored him.

“Tell the guards to expect a bunch of children coming out of the building.”(Y/N) ignited her lightsaber and slashed at the lock on Kimi’s cage. She then started to do the same with all the other cages. Even though Max knew that they were just giving more time for The Slave Trader to get away, he also knew that to (Y/N) this was more important. He spoke to his communicator, informing the guards about the situation, then started to help (Y/N) to make the process go faster. 

 “Go out that door, take a left, and then go all the way down the hall and out the door. There will be guards that will help you.” (Y/N) said as she opened all doors to the cages. All the kids had started to make their way out the room. Some needed assistance, being helped by the other kids as they left the room.

Eventually Kimi was the only one left, even though he was the first one to be freed.

“You’re free now! Go!” (Y/N) exclaimed, trying to usher the boy out of the room. Kimi suddenly hugged (Y/N), catching the teen off guard.

 “Thank you for helping us.” Kimi whispered. (Y/N) felt tears forming in her eyes but didn’t let them fall as she gently wrapped an arm around Kimi.

“You didn’t deserve to be treated like this. None of you did.” (Y/N) quietly said to Kimi before finally ushering the kid towards the door. It wasn’t until the boy was finally out of the room that (Y/N) wiped the tears away. Max placed a hand on her shoulder.

 “C’mon, let’s finish this.” He said. (Y/N) nodded her head and Max saw something change in (Y/N)’s face that he had never seen in her before. Anger? Rage? Hatred? A mixture of all three seemed to be found on (Y/N)’s face as she gripped her lightsaber tightly. It was almost scary.

“That man’s gonna pay for what he did to these children.” (Y/N) said before running out of the room and resuming the chase.

Despite the extra time he had, The Slave Trader didn’t seem to get far. As soon as (Y/N) burst into what she assumed was the man’s office, she saw him start to climb out a raised window. (Y/N) threw up her hand and sent the man flying backwards, away from the window, before slamming him into a wall. 

The anger (Y/N) felt before had come to the forefront as she finally got a proper look at the man. Despite the noticeable aging since she last saw him, he still looked cruel and cocky. 

(Y/N) looked at him with hatred.

He only looked at her with slight confusion.

 “Do you remember me?” (Y/N) asked.

“If you’ve chased me all the way down as one of those space wizards now, I must have made good money off of you.” He said. His eyes shifted to Max and he let out a scoff.

 “Should have known you weren't an actual farmer.”

The man was slammed into the wall once again by (Y/N) with The Force and that’s when Max felt the energy in the room shift. He could not only sense the overwhelming and almost suffocating presence of The Force that was radiating off of (Y/N), but he could also sense her anger and hatred. And as (Y/N) walked over to The Slave Trader, he seemed to stay pinned to the wall. Max stayed by the doorway, just watching what was to unfold. 

“You caused me so much pain. You stole away my childhood and that of countless other children.”

(Y/N) ignited her lightsaber as she stalked closer. 

  “What makes you think you have the right to keep children in cages and sell them for profit?” (Y/N) asked the man. He didn’t answer. (Y/N) scoffed.

 “It’s a stupid question to ask you. Men like you only care about themselves.” She said. Anger burned with her as she got closer to the man. He couldn’t move, he was helpless. A small part of (Y/N) felt a sense of satisfaction at that. That this man was now the helpless one, not her.

 “You should have known…that one of these days, one of us was bound to come after you and make you pay for what you have done.” (Y/N) said.

She stared into the man’s eyes. There was fear in them.

She held her saber to his neck, a green hue casting over his face. One push and it would all be over. One slice and the man that tormented her life and dreams would be no longer. One easy action and (Y/N) could live her life in peace.

But taking his life away, as he had figuratively done to her when she was a child, would make her just as bad as him. The anger and hatred that was at the forefront of all this had almost blinded her from what she was. 

Jedi don’t kill out of anger and hatred.

(Y/N) gave the man one last shove against the wall before lowering her saber.

 “You’ll rot in a jail cell for the rest of your life. Isolated and alone. It can’t make up for everything that you did to me or other force sensitive kids, but killing you would just give you an easy way out. Now you’ll be the one locked in a cage.” She told him before turning around and heading towards the door.

 “The Nabooian guards can deal with him.” She said to Max, before leaving the room.

Max didn’t follow her. 

“Pathetic…” The slave trader mumbled. Max glared at the man.

 “What did you say?”

“She’s Pathetic!” The Slave trader laughed. “She had the chance to kill me and she didn’t take it!”

Max clenched his fist. That seed, now sapling, was quickly blooming and now Max felt the anger rise and it’s presence spread throughout the room.

“You’re the one who’s pathetic. You don’t know how much pain you’ve caused her. All the abuse you put her through.  You’ve robbed her of sleep, all because you wanted money!” Max said as he clenched one fist around his saber, the other grasping nothing but air. He walked towards the man

The Slave Trader was finding it hard to breathe as an unseen force closed around his throat as Max got closer.

“She showed you a kindness by sparing her life.”

Branches of rage and anger stretched out, across Max’s lungs, wrapping around his ribs and poking at his heart. Anger was the only thing Max felt in this moment.

In one swift motion, Max ignited his lightsaber and drove it through The Slave Trader’s gut.

 “You don’t deserve kindness.”

Max watched the man’s body slump to the ground and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Justice had finally been delivered. 

But despite the fact that Max felt justified in his actions, the tree that had planted itself in Max’s chest quickly withered and died as Max continued to stare at the body in front of him. With the now present absent of that anger, Max was now faced with the fact that he had just killed a man.

That fact followed Max all the way back to Kelly’s house. It left a pit in his stomach as his mind swirled with conflicted thoughts. 

Anger and hate were two feelings that were constantly told to Jedi to not let it control them and yet that was what Max had let happen. He had let his anger blind him, and even if it was temporary, it didn’t erase the body he left at the warehouse. 

 ‘If he continued living, he would always have a chance at harming force sensitive kids like (Y/N) again.’

That was what Max kept telling himself every time the image of the man’s dead body appeared in his head. But no matter how much he tried to tell himself, he still didn’t feel justified. 

As he stepped foot into Senator Piquet’s bedroom, Max was hoping that Kelly could help ease his worries, tell him that what he did was justified and that he did the right thing. But her expression mirrored his own as worry was present on her face.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked her.

“My guards informed me what happened.” Kelly said. 

Max froze. Kelly’s gaze seemed to pierce right through him and instantly made him feel guilty. He didn’t know how to respond to her, and Kelly continued after Max’s continuous silence. 

“They told me that  when they got there to apprehend him…they found him dead. It was clear that he was killed by a lightsaber.” Keylly said. “And they told me that (Y/N) had come out of the building, and you weren’t with her. You didn’t leave the building until a couple of minutes after (Y/N).”

Kelly stepped forward, the worry growing on her face. 

 “(Y/N) said you'd bring him in alive,” Kelly said. “What happened, Max?”

Max stepped closer to Kelly.

 “I did what I had to Kelly. You saw how much this man’s very presence affected (Y/N)...and the amount of children he had locked in cages. He couldn’t be left alive! Even if he was arrested and thrown in a jail cell, there was always the possibility that he could get out and continue harming kids!”

Kelly closed the distance between her and Max and gently grabbed his hands. Max couldn’t meet her eyes.

“But I feel like…I didn’t do the right thing.” Max said. “The guilt isn’t going away Kelly. I don’t know what to do. Jedi aren’t supposed to kill unless in self defense and no matter how much I justify it, this feeling won’t go away. And the anger I felt…I thought it was going to consume me…it didn’t go away till that man was dead.”

 “Does (Y/N) know…that you killed him?”

“No. I’m worried about her though…I had never seen her that angry before.” 

Max doesn’t tell Kelly about how close it had almost gotten to (Y/N) being the one to kill The Slavetrader. That was something that stayed between him and (Y/N).

 “I think you should tell her. She has a right to know that the man who tormented her as a child is dead.” Kelly said. Max nodded his head.

“I need to check up on her anyway.” He said. Still not meeting Kelly’s eyes, he gently kissed her cheek before pulling away and leaving to find his padawan. 

It wasn’t hard to find (Y/N) as she sat outside on the back porch. She almost looked calm as she stared up at the stars, but Max could sense her unease. 

“Hey…” Max quietly said to get her attention. 

 “Hey…” (Y/N) briefly looked at him before looking back at the stars. Max walked over and took a seat next to her, also deciding to gaze at the stars.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. (Y/N) looked down at her hands.

“I’m…ok…i guess.” She said, 

 “Are you sure?”

(Y/N) shook her head.

 “I know I should feel some sense of relief, that it’s all over and that man won’t hurt anyone again. But I can’t keep thinking about how I felt, back in that room.”(Y/N) said. Max turned and looked at (Y/N).

“I almost lost myself in there, Max. I was so caught up in all the anger and pain that that man had caused me, that I almost let it control me and kill him. I know that you and Seb have taught me countless times to not let my emotions control my actions and I’m terrified that this could happen again.” She told him, now turning to look at him.  

 ‘It won’t’ That’s what Max was supposed to tell her. That even though she had the capabilities of her anger overpowering her thinking, that it wouldn’t happen again as long she continued to control her emotions. Max would have told her that…if the same thing didn’t happen to him. And that’s why he was sitting in front of her right now. 

“(Y/N), I need to tell you something…”

 “What is it?”

Max knew that telling (Y/N) about what he had done to that slave trader may ease the guilt that was eating him from the inside, relieve him of some of the stress or at least help him comprehend what exactly he had done. She had a right to know.

“I…I uh…”

Max looked at (Y/N) with an expression that made it hard for him to even speak the words that he needed to say.

“I’m dating Senator Piquet”

~~~

Taglist: @fangirl-dot-com @chasing-liberosis @miarabanana @vicurious28 @mayo-0-o @nikfigueiredo @annabellelee @iloveyou3000morgan @elegantweird-orchest

[malinowaj]

2024 fandom review

thank you for the tag @nerdyfangirl76 and @almostlake 💜

warning: this got really long

fics written

in 2024, i posted 3 finished fics and one currently on-going WIP. in total that was 122,542 words and i keep looking at that number in complete disbelief.

i started the year by saying, multiple times, i'm not going to write anything because it's been nearly a decade since i wrote for fun. then i had an idea and was all "well, maybe if i wrote this one short thing, posted it and then dipped never to be seen again". insert my friend laughing at me at regular intervals because we all know that's not what happened.

always losing to win is very dear to me, for several reasons, and it'll never stop blowing my mind how many people have read it and been on that journey with me.

fics read

my AO3 history is about 300 fics, but i did not sort out my logins until months into the year, so the actual number is probably somewhere closer to 350.

i tried to pick a few favourite fics i read and limiting myself to just these is hard. i regret to say none of these have received the praise, comments and love from me that they deserve, because it took me months to get over my comment shyness. but i hope this makes up for it a bit. (new year's resolution: more comments for everyone.) in alphabetical order by title:

almost is never enough by @in-amor-veritas

there's a scene in this with kent's 747 that i have the strongest, plot-wise most insignificant headcanon about and i think about it every time i hear the song. which is often. and then i end up thinking about the whole story.

another dose by stargazers

it's such a beautiful version of wilmon, because it's so them. and it's hot.

chasing our sunlight by fitz_y

if there ever was a fic that lives rent free in my head, it's this. the way it deals with so many heavy topics has made me cry, but it's such an incredibly crafted story i come back to it often.

forever i'm yours by @goldenwilmon

the way the fall in love in this one? hands down one of my favourites ever. whenever i need some fluff and happiness in my life, this is the one i go for.

little light by @unfortunate17

possibly one of the first, if not the first, wilmon fic i read in 2024. it broke something in me, but also healed something in me.

reckless abandon by @zee-has-commitment-issues

i absolutely love the concept and the way all the characters are so well-rounded. one of the fics i could not stop reading and can't wait to read again.

so loaded, eye low by @enjoythesilentworld

the chemistry, the angst. the sweet, delicious angst. and hot as hell.

where be left off by @gulliblelemon

the best way for me to fight some physical pain? some emotional pain. and this one has it, in the best, most beautiful way. very few fics have i devoured like i did this one.

the wolf comes home by @phneltwrites

after months, i still keep thinking about a particular line in this one. the trauma aftermath, the way they deal with it. also my favourite established relationship wilmon.

looking forward to in 2025

i can't wait to read and see all the amazing fics and gifs and edits and everything this fandom comes up with. i already know there'll be so many wonderful things i'll enjoy.

as for my own writing, i'm trying to get a good chunk of hope and legacy written before the insanity that'll be my life from late january to the end of february. (no context chapter 4 spoiler: simon steals a flag.)

there is also in from the cold, the espionage AU i have about 10K written for - and that's barely the beginning. i don't know if it'll ever see the light of day, but i do love the concept and all the research i've done for it.

i have been thinking about space wilmon lately, and while i said i'm not going to go down that road myself, i did remember a few lines from record of a spaceborn few that may have sparked an idea. it might become something one day, or it might never be more than the few disjointed lines and ideas i have typed in my notes.

there's also a file with a list of songs that i might want to build stories around. in general i have a lot of ideas, but very few of them might become anything. i'd like to put it down as "english is not my first language so writing is slow" thing, and while it is that too, it's mostly me being a perfectionist and not able to let go. (which is why i should probably have a beta telling me 'this is fine, go post it'. if anyone feels up for doing that...)

the biggest, warmest thank you to everyone who's read anything i've written, left kudos or comments, sent messages, in any way engaged. it has made my year, and this fandom experience so special 💜

not tagging anyone, but if any of the authors i mentioned haven't done this yet and would like to, i'd love to read your reviews.

[mimiii-3]

I love your stupid Pizza Steve pfp and the sabateur drabbles.

I was wondering, what if at first Batsib was sabotaging Darling out getting attention out of Bruce; however, after a while, Batsib starts craving the Darling's attention?

Every time Darling gets punished, it's Batsib who comforts them. All of their attention is on Batsib. Any form of attention given is what they want. It's what they crave.

Batsib pretends to be powerless, unable to do anything to help them. Like really playing up the defenseless submissive softboy/girl/person(?). While in secret, is fully smitten with the idea of having complete control over Darling, enjoying the fact that he is needed by them, and is wanted more by Darling than the people who actually kidnapped Darling.

I can imagine the confrontation where they find out why they keep sabotaging and mentally fucking Darling, would be interesting.

Thanks!

…

Saboteur: Two Most Wanted Prequel Pt.1

Yandere Platonic Batfam x GN Neglected Reader

Notes: typical yandere themes, platonic relationship between batsib and darling, I’m writing this w/ a massive headache rn

…

What if batsib realizes that Darling’s attention is all they need…

🦇 - there’s a sick sort of satisfaction you get from knowing that the family’s darling loves you

🦇 - you’re their shoulder to cry on, their only sense of reprieve, and the closest thing to a real sibling

🦇 - after being punished nonstop by Bruce for things they may or may not have done (looking at you batsib). Darling can’t help but make you their designated friend

🦇 - Darling hugs you every time you hide them in your room from Dick’s obsessive behavior

🦇 - they scribble drawings of you and them on post it notes. You purposefully leave the drawings out so that the batboys have to see

🦇 - Darling goes on long tangents about what the two of you can do once they’re free. They roll around on your polka dot rug, detailing future trips to the mall or swimming at the beach

🦇 - you tried to stay strong. Denying the warm feeling in your chest whenever Darling affectionately called you their sibling

🦇 - it wasn’t until you’re birthday that you realized you loved Darling too. Maybe even more than your brothers

…

Your birthday was a quiet one. Alfred had served you a slice of cake and presented you with a wad of cash. It was impersonal but at least he remembered.

You took the rest of the cake to your room and ate in silence. The tv played one of your comfort shows but it did nothing to ease the heartbreak. How could your father and brothers forget your birthday? After all you’ve done for them…

Your silent brooding is interrupted by an excited knock at the door. Whoever’s behind the door doesn’t wait for an answer and swings it open.

Darling peaks their head in and smiles. They enter your room and shut the door with the heel of their foot. Before you can question their presence, Darling breaks into song.

Darling sings some horrible rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ and you can’t help but laugh. Their antics lift your sour mood. Darling, pleased with their work, plops down in front of you. They’re holding a small, brown box with a yellow ribbon tied around it.

“I know it’s small but is the best I could do,” Darling chirps. You eye them curiously before opening the gift.

You feel tears well in your eyes at the contents of the box. It’s a wooden duck, no bigger than the size of your palm. No one has ever spent so much effort on you.

You look up at Darling, “Did you whittle this yourself?” You turn the duck in your hand, the detail is impressive. You wonder if one of the knives you caught them stealing was used to make it.

“Yup! I made you a duck because they symbolize family and love!” Darling grabs one of your stuffed animals and begins to play with its ears.

The guilt overpowers you. You’ve been treating them like crap but this whole time they cared about you.

You don’t say anything and lean forward to hug them. “Thank you,” you whisper. Darling hugs you back, oblivious to your previous betrayal.

You decide right then and there that you’ll make a change. They’re your new sibling. Who cares if Bruce and the batboys don’t care about you. You don’t need them anymore. You have Darling now.

…

Extra notes: my head hurts😫

Tag list:

@jjsmeowthie @shawty-a-lil-baddie @butratherbutrather @shirp-collector-of-fixations @stove-top96

[mochimochimona]

Analyizing Viktor and Jayce from Arcane, S1 E5 Part Two - Am I ruining this ship for me or what

So Viktor being a genuis because he had "a vision" and just explains how runes and mages work and is that..foreshadowing again? Like how did he got these informations? It would have been nice to have a bit more context, because with that scene from the previous post I might get my tinfoil hat back. Anyway, Viktor is mansplaining Jayce and here is the first thing I noticed, the fond and admiring expression on Jayce's face:

Again, that can be completly platonic still. Am I ruining this ship for me now or what?

Viktors absolutly unfazed reaction makes me laugh so much, god I love this man.

But I think there was a first impulse of reaching out to Viktor, just a short tilt of his hand - to make sure Viktor is alright. And his Question "Are You Sure This is safe" was met by a rather cold "of course not" by Viktor and Jayce is reacting like that and I had to make a GIF out of this scene or else I can't explain what I mean.

So Jayce is staring at Viktor, and he feels guilt and I think he wants to say something but he is also unsure of what exactly to say, because he knows Viktor is right and also has the right to be cold towards Jayce, since he is leaving him alone. I think it dawns on him, unconsiously, that what he is doing is wrong and it's nagging at him. So far no interpretation from my side that Jayce is into Viktor the same way Viktor might be into him, though. I am on the way to ruin my delusion.

Mel is such a strong politican, I love her for her cunning way to get Jayce on her side and manipulating him. Again, Mel is one of my fav Chars in Arcane but I do think they don't have either an equal relationship, nor a deep one at that. It feels rather cold to me.

"You pushed this on me". I think it's nice to see he is struggling and not wanting this, but Mel is REALLY good. Girl you slay queen!

Here he looses his inner battle against playing the politican, the struggle was made so clear and was well portrayed, you could feel it!

Foreshadowing at it's best: "There's been quite the investements" - and Mel said "Indeed, better than expected" - Do you remember Jayce accusing Mel of treating him and Viktor as investements? ohhh what a nice foreshadowing! And here it is made clear that Mel is using Jayce for her own goals. Love myself a good, calculated politican!

Well he does look at Mel adoringly. This scene is also important. Because she makes a move on him, and he says "I couldn't have done it without you"

Wait, that actually makes me mad. He couldn't have done SHIT without Viktor. You asshole, Jayce!

And now comes the most heartwrenching scene I have ever seen in my live. Given the feeling of me that Viktor has feelings for Jayce (we can argue which, can't we?) making the deliberate choice to show us Jayce and Mel doing bed gymnastics (sorry I am german, it's a way of saying here lol) and parrallel Viktor collapsing? This is INTENTIONAL. They wanted us to show what Jayce chose and did not choose. What would have been important and what shouldn't have been important. It is quite the foreshadowing, too, because Jayce will regret his actions - which is a topic on it's own.

The fact, that they put Sky in this scene makes it even more obvious or sus, as you may say, because if you wanted to show us that Jayce did choose poorly it would have been enough to show Viktor alone in his study the whole time, and not with Sky approaching and making moves onto Viktor.

Foreshadowing again with Sky saying "There is always tomorrow, right". rip haha.

Viktor is comepletly uninterested in her, romantically speaking. I think it's not because he doesn't get her advances. I think saying her name "goodnight luisanne(?)" makes it clear they do have some kind of relationship. Her implying "again" makes me think she asked many times and this wording from Viktor is his attempt of being polite and respectful, but drawing boundaries for himself.

Him getting angry, throwing the papers around is a stark contrast to his usual composed nature, I think it's a nice way to show how deperate he is because he KNOWS he doesn't have much time anymore. He gets fainty again and hears voices and sounds, which is again really interesting because there is no shimmer corruption in this situation. So what is that sound? Who is it? IS IT HIMSELF?

Again he coughes blood and I think there are two different kinds of runes in this: the one without the corruption of the void/shimmer and the one with, which is making him go bonkers I guess. Because I have the feeling the old Viktor is actually a mage and using only the runes, not the void. Which doesn't make it any less dangerous but you get what I am saying. I hope.

Him going down and fast cut to Mel and Jayce, who are making out WITH A GALAXY BACKGROUND?????? Wait what AM I SEEING. This is deliberate, intentional again, I don't think the smashing is that good she sees stars lolkek.

Maybe I am interpreting way too much into it, but is that a parrallell to the scene in which Viktor and Jayce are connected in the astral plane (or whatever)? I am weezing.

Also what I do find interesting and I don't have an idea why they choose to frame it like this: The Hexcore absorbed Viktors blood and we can see it travel through it, kinda melting together with the hexcore-DNA while you see a sillouette of Mel (why not Jayce, am I asking?). I am not sure what to make out of that. It could be a metaphor for connection. Like Viktor connected to the hexcore and Mel with Jayce, but it was weird to not see more of Jayce, you know? like why were we so focused on Mel here? Is that a foreshadowing that Mel is a mage, but that won't make any sense to me. And I am asking, because I am here for discussion: Why using this cutting, this parallel scenes? Why do you show us this, anyway? You could have implied them having smash-time, but you intentionally put those two things next to each other. Did you wanted to make us angry because Jayce was hooking up but he should have been with Viktor the whole time! That's absolutly implying you think we think bros before hoes! But that's just a saying, I do think everyone goes for the hoe at some point (respectfully, of course). I am getting a headache, this scene made me mad honestly. I was so hurting for Viktor, he was so alone. And when Mel wakes up, she looks a bit pissed that Jayce is gone, honestly lmao. But not in a way like she is disappointing because she wanted to cuddle, but because I guess she thought she had Jayce by his balls or something (well she did).

The cut to Viktor laying on the hospital bed and Jayce shaking and whipping his leg IS A MASTERPIECE. And honestly, the feeling creeps in...like why do that cut? Why stay on Mel and transition to Viktor in the same camera angle. Do you want to tell us something? You could have done a camera angle from the side, showing us Jayce being panicky if you wanted to show us that, but we get this parallel. This is sus, not gonna lie.

So, @stardust-musings provided me a link with a deleted scene where Jayce was wiping away his crying, if you want to see that, here: https://www.tumblr.com/stardust-musings/767415218102059008?source=share

We discussed that Jayce definetly has a lot of affection for Viktor, which one can be argued with but I do think his reaction in general is really important here, though the crying wouldn't only have IMPLIED Viktor is really important to him but made it clear, because he had an open and really vulnerable reaction here. So with that in mind, his actions coming might him be struggling to find out what Viktor really is to him, because as stated above, this gives off mixed signals. I get you can cry about you "brother/hombie" being in a hospital and dying, given the deep relationship as friends. I think this shot is important to make it clear that the love is there, but what love can be interpreted still and Jayce is figuring it out himself.

And there it is, we have regret showing! Honestly, I do get why you chase to your best friend if he is in a hospital and you get the message. But guilt? Regret? Doubt? Panic? Devastation? Realtalk here because I think this is important: As someone who has had a lot of people in the hospital on the deathbed and so on, I don't think anyone will rush to their bro and leaving their spouse behind (and she didn't even know what was up), without like waking them up and telling them what's up, ya know. You may be panicing, but you are connected to your partner and I think you will share this information and trying to get comfort FIRST (not after you visited). So I would explain to my partner what's up and my partner would come visit with me, too, because I care for my friend but I also care for my spouse, ya know. Him leaving Mel who he slept with the night before because his friend was brought into hospital is really rushed and I think he has a deep connection with Viktor and cares about him a lot, so much so, that he doesn't care who he slept with, because he is more important. But I do think Jayce still is not in love with Viktor. Yet? But it makes no sense to leave Mel there, I mean she knows Viktor too and if you have a connection, you would at least wake her up. Even if it's in the middle of the night. So this is confusing, I have to think about it more. Your thoughts are appreciated. Also sorry for any misspellings, I am tired.

It makes sense he left Mel, because she would have seen him breaking down over his friend and maybe he didn't want to be vulnerable in fron of Mel and Viktor, because he tried to kept his panic together. But again, I find it interesting how they telled us this with these scenes. They wanted to imply, I am sure of it, the first time that Jayce always chooses Viktor. Which is, honestly, a love letter on it's own tbh.

That was Part Two, I will continue tomorrow! I am obsessed with this now lol