#looking at these now I can safely say: most of these suck LMAO

[kainebell]

hello choices fandom I am once again thinking about 2017 era faceclaims….

[comradecowplant]

so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

[junityy]

🕸 — stay.

pairing. spider-man!jake x fem!reader genre. fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive?? wc. 2k warnings. for context, this is the #infamous scene in the amazing spiderman 1 when peter shows up hurt at gwens window!! and yes im including the lizard LMAO and jake is kinda down Bad note. THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG.... and also NOT how i wanted but erm well.. spiderman jake is truly all i can think about so i hope you enjoy!!!

You were just finishing up your chemistry homework when Jake leaned against your window frame outside, and lightly knocked against your window. By now, this had become a routine-like thing, so you didn't even flinch.

The first time he did that, though, you felt slightly creeped out before letting him in regardless - because, after all, you do live on the 21st floor. The second time he did that, you started getting used to it. After all, your boyfriend just so turned out to be Spider-man. It was just something you'd get used to sooner rather than later.

Turning around and telling him, “Come in.”, you could already feel your lips form into a smile like that of a little kid's. Jake does as you said and opens the window, slowly climbing inside while you quickly save your homework document in the meantime.

“So, big guy, what was saving New York like today?” you joke before turning around to look at him. Though, once you see Jake holding onto your armchair for stability, your smile fades as quickly as it appeared and you get up when your eyes scan his body - three major scratches across his chest, along with other small wounds across his face (though these are a given by now). But also- scratches? No, it looks more like someone tried to slice him up with.. you don't even know what. Knives? This big? You can only imagine how he got these.

“Different, for sure.” he replies in a joking manner (even though there is no smile), and you can hear just a tiny bit of the pain he must be in in his voice.

“Jake?” you end up whispering as you walk towards him, and he simply lets himself fall onto your armchair before you sit down beside him.

“Seems that reptiles aren't my biggest fans.” he jokes; now smiling as he lets his head fall back while trying to catch his breath. In the meantime, you can't help but scan his wounds up close and - it's safe to say, someone (or something) possibly did try to slice him up from the looks of it.

“Reptiles?” you repeat, the confusion in your voice being very easy to identify; something Jake had already seen coming though, so that is far from surprising.

Before speaking up to elaborate further, he lifts his head again to look at you up close, then explains; “Remember that thing on the bridge yesterday? The thing that was ‘bigger’ than a human.. Well, turns out it's actually some kind of giant, mutant lizard. And it's living in the sewers, apparently.”

“A what?” raising your eyebrows in shock immediately, you can't help but blink in utter confusion a few times - at least before your eyes find their way back to his chest, and some dots start to connect by themselves. Well, his wounds make a little sense now at least. Still, neither of you could deny that ‘giant mutant lizard’ doesn't sound absolutely insane - so naturally, it takes you a second to process and.. imagine what that fight must've looked like just now.

“You're..” you frown; making eye contact with your boyfriend again after breaking it shortly. Jake on the other hand can't seem to even think about taking his eyes off of you. As per usual. “You're telling me you're fighting.. giant lizards?” you simply add. You're also certain that no matter how you would've worded this, it would sound equally just as crazy.

But, well.. your boyfriend IS Spider-man after all. So really, nothing should probably surprise you anymore. If you had to guess, things would, most likely, only get crazier from here on.

“Yeah. Well, they suck.” Jake scoffs, followed by another smile on his face, but he quickly groans in pain right after; your eyes still fixated on his wounds. It’s not like he'll die of them, so you try telling yourself to stop being so dramatic, but still.. it's a sight you'd rather not get too used to.

You hate seeing him like this. Usually, you're pretty used to seeing him with small or at least smaller wounds by now, but this? This is.. low-key crazy. You keep telling yourself that he is literally Spider-man, and that there's.. kinda no way to avoid getting hurt, yet all you hope for is to see him in one piece every single time. And it seems that the longer he keeps doing what he's doing, the chances of seeing him at all keep getting slimmer. Which is something that truly keeps you up at night, easily causing goosebumps all over your body.

“Hey.” Jake quietly says, simply to bring you back to reality once he notices you're lost in thoughts, and the next thing you feel is his hand on your cheek, softly cupping it.

Once you're actually back, you properly reconnect the eye contact you so love with him again. “What is it?” he questions not too long after, barely whispering while trying to read your expression. You, on the other hand, just remain silent; swallowing, before taking a sharp breath.

“Take this off, I'll take care of it.” pretty much avoiding the question, you point to his suit instead (or at least the upper part of it) - since, every time Jake has come here, you took care of him and his injuries. And today was gonna be no different.

While he makes sure the city is okay, you need to make sure he's okay. And vice versa, Jake has to make sure you're okay, by coming back to you every time like promised. New York could be safe for all he wants - only seeing your face every time makes him feel truly safe and sound.

And so again, he does as you say; moving to sit on the floor while leaning against your bed, he watches you do your little magic in silence. Silence, awe, admiration - it's all the same when it comes to you, really. He doesn't even deserve you, Jake thinks to himself. Like he does everyday.

Your ‘little magic’ though, simply includes disinfecting his wounds first; a process the both of you have gotten used to by now.

Once he's rolled down his suit a little, you begin to carefully pat his chest with the tissue again and again, so careful as if he'd break if you made one wrong move. Which.. seems sort of funny. You're patching up the Spider-man after all.

Jake, in the meantime, can't seem to take his eyes off of you again, so he simply doesn't. Instead, he watches your every move like his life depends on it. The look in your eyes has changed. You've gone quiet. Like, awfully quiet.

“Y/N.” he tries again after just a moment - after you clearly avoided his question the first time. When you look up just the tiniest bit, you're immediately met with his eyes on you already in no time. Oh. His eyes. “What is it?” he repeats, hoping to get you to talk this time.

Looking at him, it takes you a few moments to even form a somewhat coherent thought. Sometimes you wish you could just stop time and stay like this. With him, here. Forever.

Sure, being Spider-man's girlfriend had its perks - like Jake taking you with him to swing around New York together. Surely.. an original experience! But it also meant praying he'd come home to you every time there was trouble in the city.

“I'm just scared for you, is all.” you sigh quietly, tilting your head a tiny bit. For just a moment, silence enters, and it feels like you're falling in love with him all over again. You're just glad he's here.

“You won't lose me.” Jake assures you in the softest tone possible and immediately brings his hand back to your cheek, only to bring your face closer to his. Close enough to place a kiss on your lips, a reassuring one. A kiss that, as you both know, says something words wish they could truly encapsulate. Breaking the kiss for a short, simple “I promise.”, he immediately reconnects your lips again like he'd suffocate if he didn't.

What starts as a lovely, reassuring kiss, quickly seems to turn into something much more intimate when you feel Jake rest his other hand on your waist only to pull you as close as possible; to feel your body right against his.

Spider-man might have impressive healing abilities that are above those of the average person, but Jake felt as if having you near him was already enough healing.

“I love you.” he breathes into the kiss, and quickly tries to catch his breath when you do the same for a second. Your faces still dangerously close, all you seem to be able to get out is a “I love you too.” that sounds very out of breath, like you were the one fighting a giant mutant lizard just before.

Bringing your hand up to rest on the side of his neck, Jake can't help but sigh when he backs off a tiny bit, only so he can get a good look at you. God, you're beautiful he thinks to himself. Basically looking at you the same way he did when he first told you he loved you, he automatically moves the few strands of hair out of your face; tucking them behind your ear, while his eyes simply shine with admiration. But mostly love.

“I just love you, Y/N.” your boyfriend repeats while shaking his head slightly, and sounding completely hopeless as if he just accepted that he is, indeed, hopelessly in love with you. Though, that was more or less the case anyway.. it still is, actually. Watching his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips, Jake speaks up again in a low voice, “You won't lose me.”. However this time, it's a promise rather than a reassurance.

Your eyes lighting up with pure love at his words and the look in his eyes, you can't seem to hide the way your lips are forming into another tiny smile - so you decide to just let them speak by placing them on his once again.

It's like your lips were perfectly made for each other, especially when Jake tilts his head a tiny bit more to deepen the kiss - his hand still on your neck, and if it were to go after him, he'd never remove it again. It's like you were perfectly made for each other.

“Jake.” you mumble into the kiss, yet keep it going because his lips feel a little too good moving against yours. Although you don't wanna let go, you (sadly) do end up breaking the kiss - which causes Jake to immediately look at you as you're gathering your thoughts one by one.

“I need to ask you a favour. It'll sound really selfish, though.” you begin quietly, only to receive a promising nod from his side, waiting for you to continue curiously while his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips again. Swallowing, you carefully ask, “You know I love that you're Spider-man, but can you just be Jake for tonight and stay?” Yeah, you were right about it sounding kinda selfish. Jesus.

But, like, it's true, and you couldn't really figure out a better way to word it. I mean, obviously you love that he's Spider-man - literally who wouldn't? But it's true that you love Jake Sim more. Even if just a tiny bit, which is why you want, - or need, actually - him with you tonight. Just Jake. Just the two of you.

“It doesn't sound selfish.” is the first thing he says in response, slightly shaking his head for further assurance. You're not only glad about it, but you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly when you see yet another smile form on his face, which (thank god), he doesn't even try to hide as it's getting too big. “Actually,” he lightly scoffs, biting on his lip as you watch him do so (it drives you nuts every time).

“I was hoping you'd say that, princess.” is the last thing he says before pulling you in for a kiss much, much more intimate than the ones before.

taglist @tyunni @geombyu @jaeyunverse @yjwfav @sieuneo @beombisou @neos127

[sundrop-writes]

Picture Perfect

(Perv)Sub!Mike Schmidt x Dom!Fem!Reader

Summary:

You and Mike have been dating for a few months now, and you have a great thing going. You're both very horny people who are more than happy to indulge in your desires with each other. So why is it that you find him hiding a dirty picture from you when you catch him masturbating one morning?

(Perv)Sub!Mike Schmidt x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. Takes place outside the movie's canon.

Word Count: 5,100

Horror Characters Masterlist | AO3 Link

Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: This is primarily a smut fic; this can be read with or without considering the events of the film, and has no spoilers for the plot of the movie. There are dom/sub dynamics here - Mike is more submissive and the reader is more dominant; because this is a pre-established relationship, the characters have been settled into these dynamics for a while and even though it's not discussed during the fic, we can assume they have established safewords and fully talked about each other's boundaries so everyone is safe and well cared for; she reader has female anatomy, and uses she/her pronouns (but with all my fics, most of the pronouns used are you/yours); this fic does use Y/N. 

For the main smutty parts: some dubious consent - Mike took a picture of the reader’s underwear/up the reader’s skirt before they were dating (when she was sleeping and could not consent) she was physically attracted to him at the time and would have consented to the photo being taken if he could have asked and finds the idea of this happening to be hot but he never asked permission and hid this from her well into their relationship; the reader finds this photo and ‘punishes’ Mike for it even though she likes the photo and enjoys his perverted thoughts about her; descriptions of masturbation - Mike jacks-off when the reader is not looking/not in the room and she walks in on him; mentions of Mike being gagged; mentions of Mike being tied up and overstimulated (multiple orgasms); mentions of Mike eating the reader’s pussy; Mike is called ‘good boy’, ‘Mikey’, ‘baby’; mentions of the reader riding Mike, mentions of creampie kink; mentions of orgasm restriction (toward Mike); marking kink - mentions of the reader biting/marking Mike during a previous sexual encounter; Perv!Mike; mentions of sexual photos being taken with consent (of the reader and of Mike); hair-pulling (towards Mike); thigh riding - Mike rides the reader's thigh as his punishment; mentions of a cock cage (not actually used in the fic); mild pain kink; some descriptions of subspace (even though it’s not called that in the fic); degradation kink (the reader verbally degrades Mike); mentions of spanking; undertones of humiliation kink; mentions of underwear stealing (Mike stole a pair of the reader’s panties in the past); (mild) Mommy kink - Mike calls the reader Mommy (once or twice, it’s not all that prevalent in the fic); finger sucking.

A/N: Here, I did go far beyond what was in the original request, but I saw the mention of Polaroid pictures in the request and my mind immediately went to perv!Mike?? I’m not even sure why. But I had fun with this lmao. And I keep thinking of writing a kind of ‘prequel’ fic of the situation where he originally took the photo, but idk. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! If you want to see more Mike Schmidt fics from me, definitely let me know by reblogging this or commenting on it.

...

When you got out of the shower, the last thing you were expecting to hear was the distinct sound of moans coming from the bedroom. 

Not that you were at all disappointed by the needy, choked off sounds that your boyfriend Mike made. You were just… surprised. 

After the night the two of you had before, the fact that Mike had the desire to masturbate was surprising to say the least. 

You thought that you would have tired him out and left his cock sore and worn out for at least a good day to follow. It had been a rare night when the two of you had the house all to yourselves - Abby was sleeping over at a friend’s place (Mike often credited you with Abby being more open and sociable and feeling up to doing things like this where she wouldn’t have before) - and so, you had certainly taken advantage of that. You enjoyed a night where you could get him in bed without having to gag him or shove his face into a pillow in order to assure his silence. 

You had indulged in his sounds, in fact. 

You had spent the night with him tied to the bed, curious about how many times you could make him cum before his body outright gave up. The answer to that burning question was four, which was a record for him. After the forth orgasm spurted up over his belly, covering him in even more mess, you continued to milk him through it and his softening dick gave you nothing but pathetic clear drips of non-cum - he wept and begged you to stop, threatening that he might pass out from the efforts. 

With the satisfaction of the answer under your belt, and taking in the sight of him so debauched one last time, you finally untied him. And then he spent some time between your thighs, enjoying a reward for being such a good boy, shoving his tongue deep inside of you while the morning sun warmed the curtains, signifying that the two of you had truly been at it all night. 

The two of you eventually slept for a few hours in the morning. After waking up from the haze, you had peeled yourself out from under his heavy grip on your waist when you read the numbers on the digital clock sitting on his nightstand, seeing that it was almost noon - Abby would need to be picked up from her friend’s house soon, and you wanted a shower while Mike was still asleep. 

The last thing you were expecting was to emerge from the shower to the sounds of him getting off yet again. One thing you knew for certain since you had started fucking him - he was insatiable. He was seemingly always horny the moment that he got you behind closed doors. (And often, he couldn’t even wait to get you behind closed doors - something you loved, even if it was inconvenient.) But you thought that a night like last night would tire out the libido of someone even as horny as him. 

But you liked a challenge. 

If he wanted his cock to be truly sore, if he wanted his balls so thoroughly drained - then you would pin him to the bed and ride him with harshness and haste before you had to go pick Abby up. It would be a waste of a shower, but you usually found the feeling of his cum sticking to the inside of your underwear to be a fond one. 

“Mikey,” You called out the playful nickname as you walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. 

You had a towel wrapped around your chest - mostly to keep the chill of the air off you and to keep your wet body from dripping all over the carpet. Modesty wasn’t really a thing between you and Mike, not when you were so intensely familiar with each other’s naked bodies now. 

At the sound of your voice, Mike let out a choked sound, and you saw his movements pause - which was entirely strange. It’s not like you hadn’t seen his naked cock before. It’s not like you hadn’t seen him masturbate before - several times, you had him do so just for your viewing pleasure. 

If he wasn’t allowed to touch himself as a punishment, you always told him so very clearly. But last night, you made no such rule. You simply expected that he wouldn’t want to after the thorough fucking you had given him. So you had to wonder why he was trying to hide from you. 

You walked to stand on his side of the bed, and he stared at you with wide, startled eyes, covering his hard cock with both hands. The sheet was draped around his thighs, revealing his nakedness, as well as showing off the many purpling bite marks that you had left on his chest, stomach, hips and thighs the night before. He was an absolutely perfect picture of sweet debauchery that you would hold fondly in your mind forever. 

“Baby, what are you doing?” You inquired gently, entirely curious as to why he had stopped. “You don’t have to hide from me.” 

“I - I thought you would be in the shower… longer.” He breathed out, pure guilt on his voice. It was almost adorable, seeing how he could go from fucked-out and begging to completely shy about his own desires. 

“I would have invited you to join me in the shower if I knew you wanted more,” You chuckled, stepping forward and running your fingers through his hair, petting him like the sweet puppy that he was. “Needy little thing, aren’t you?” 

Mike leaned into the touch, closing his eyes - the surge of soft pleasure that your simple touch pushed through him caused his arms to go loose, dropping away from shielding his crotch. This made him inadvertently drop something onto the sheets that he had been hiding from you in his closed fist. 

You noticed the ruffle of what sounded like paper and saw the object fall out of the corner of your eye. So you abandoned gently stroking your fingers across his scalp in favor of investigating what it was. 

Mike’s eyes widened in horror and he froze up, completely stiff as you picked up the polaroid picture, and raised it up to get a better look at it. 

Immediately, you knew it was a picture of yourself. 

You knew that Mike had a collection of dirty shots of you. It had only been a few weeks into your sex life when he had pulled out the camera and shyly asked to take pictures of you. You had bargained that he could take as many as he wanted, if you could take some photos of him in return. He kept his pictures of you in a shoebox under his bed and you kept yours in a special jewelry box on your vanity. 

But this picture wasn’t one that you recognized. 

It was your ass - a shot of your dress pulled up from behind, revealing you wearing a simple pair of cotton panties (not something you would have worn for the other ‘photoshoots’, not some impressive lingerie). In the photo, your legs were lazily parted, revealing the way the underwear was slightly caught between the lips of your cunt, even showing your pubes sticking out slightly from the fabric. If you weren’t mistaken, based on the color, that was Mike’s couch you were laying on. 

But when had the photo been taken? 

“Look, Y/N, please, I’m so sorry-” Mike swallowed harshly, desperate to get some air into his lungs as he begged for your forgiveness. “You were just so pretty - and - and - I couldn’t help myself. I know it was awful, just - please, please, don’t be mad.” 

That was when it clicked in your mind. 

You recognized the pattern on the fabric of your dress. You had worn it on the first night you had babysat Abby for Mike - back when the two of you weren’t even dating yet. That night, you had fallen asleep on the couch after you put Abby to bed. And later in the night, you thought nothing of it when you saw Mike’s polaroid camera sitting on a random side table when it hadn’t been there before. It hadn’t even crossed your mind as suspicious after he had woken you up, thanked you for helping out, and let you out the front door for the night. 

That dirty little pervert. 

You resisted the urge to grin at this realization, putting on a stony face and faking anger. You couldn’t have him thinking that this action would pass without punishment. Even if you heavily enjoyed the idea of being a perverted little admirer of you before the two of you even got together. 

You reached over and put your hand on the back of his head, this time digging sharp nails into his hair in a fierce, unforgiving grip instead of petting him so gently. He winced as this, and you noticed a distinct bit of precum weeping out of his still hard cock at the action. You yanked on his head harshly, forcing him to look up at you while you turned the photo around and shoved it in his face. 

Instinctively, knowing that it would likely only make his punishment worse to oggle over his mistakes, he looked you dead in the eyes, resisting the temptation to stare at your ass in the photo. 

“When did you take this?” You asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting him to say it. To emphasize your words, you yanked on his hair again and jabbed the picture closer to his face. 

He breathed out harshly, but didn’t fight against your grip, keeping his large, glossy, guilty eyes staring up at you. 

“Look, I know I did a bad boy thing, I know it was bad, but please, please, I’ll make it up to you.” He begged so beautifully. “I’ll be a good boy, I’ll be a good boy for you, I promise.” 

His words were pitched soft with need, and it was a unique tone that made your stomach clench. As tempting as the offer was, you couldn’t go soft on him now. 

“Answer the question!” You pressed, tugging his neck back even harsher with your grip on his hair. 

“It - it was a long time ago!” He rushed to answer. “I - I shouldn’t have done it, I know that! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” 

“Why did you do it if you knew it was bad?” You asked. 

This was the most interesting question to you. The thing you were most curious about. 

You wondered why Mike felt the need to invade your privacy with something like this when you simply would have given in to his advances if he had asked. 

You had been attracted to Mike since you met him. The entire reason you had taken on the job of babysitting his sister was because you found him to be so intensely attractive, and you wanted to get to know him better. At the time, he was someone who seemed shy and generally anti-social, you yearned to be closer to him. That night, if you had woken up and caught him staring at your panties, you probably would have taken them off and given them to him as a gift just to see his reaction. 

You were too curious to know why he felt that he had to sneak such a dirty photo of you and to this day, even after all that the two of you had done together - still kept that photo a secret. 

“I - I -” 

Mike’s whining stutters were cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. 

You heaved out a sigh and let go of him. On your way along to answer it, you shoved the photo into your purse, which was sitting open on his dresser. He was curious as to why you chose to keep it from him rather than destroying it. He heard your voice brightly from down the hall as you answered the phone and spoke to whoever it was on the other end, and he tattered with nerves as he heard you walking back down the hall. 

“Get dressed.” You barked at him when you reentered the bedroom. “We have to go pick Abby up. We’ll finish talking about this later.” 

Later. That certainly left a lovely slice of doom hanging over his head. 

You had your back turned to him, picking clothes out of the drawer he had cleared for you in his dresser (one step closer to you moving in, he had thought wistfully while moving your stuff into that drawer) - but this left one thing on his mind. 

“Okay.” Mike croaked quietly. “How should I-?” 

He trailed off, and you turned back around with a tee shirt and panties in your hand to see him loosely gripping his still hard cock, slowly beginning to touch himself again. 

You realized that he was asking you how he should finish off, and this caused a wave of spite to roll through you. He thought he still deserved to cum. 

“I didn’t say anything about your dick.” You said, tone harsh and biting. “You don’t get to cum right now. I said get dressed, so get dressed.” 

You dropped your towel casually, moving to get dressed for yourself. This caused a whine from him as your nakedness was once again revealed - something he had seen so many times now that still caused his cock to throb and weep precum, his eyes utterly fixated on the tantalizing sway of your breasts as you leaned down to hook your feet into the fresh panties you had picked out. 

Mike let out a breathy whine, but took his hand off his cock. He looked at you with utterly pleading eyes, clearly wanting you to reconsider - but you wouldn’t budge from the subject. When he didn’t make a move to get up from the bed, you said something that you knew would put some urgency in him. 

“Don’t make me get the cage.” You threatened quietly. 

Mike was up in a moment, moving toward the bathroom to freshen up, eager to follow your instructions. His dick ached at the thought of the cock cage that you had gotten just for him - it was one of the most torturous punishments you had thought up yet. Sometimes he spent whole days with his dick trapped in the metal, unable to get hard, absolutely dizzying - making him silently resent the key worn around your neck that everyone else perceived as an innocent piece of jewelry. 

The two of you got ready for the day and the conflict was soon forgotten when you had Abby in the car. You took her for lunch at some cute little diner that one of your friends had recommended - Sparky’s - and while you ate, you listened to Abby chatter on excitedly about everything she and her friend had done the night before, including ordering pizza, watching a PG13 rated movie (which Mike pretended to disapprove of), painting their nails, and staying up all night telling ‘scary stories’. You were proud of how far she had come, sharing her imagination and joy with others and having some true friends of her own age now. 

After lunch, you and Mike had taken Abby to get some new shoes because she complained that hers were getting too small, and then after some browsing around the mall, it was time to go home and make dinner (if it wasn’t for you, those two would rarely eat anything that wasn’t pre-packaged). After dinner, you helped Abby work on a solar system project for school while Mike napped on the couch (and you couldn’t blame the guy, he had a tiring time the night before). 

You had since put Abby to bed, and busied yourself with cleaning up, glad that Mike was still asleep while you did the dishes. It always pleased you when he slept well - one of the reasons you liked to wear him out with sex was because it was a more natural sleep aid than his medication, and caused him to have a deeper, dreamless sleep without the stupid nightmares. You were more focused on the tasks in front of you than thinking about any possible punishment you might give him over it. 

The fact that Mike had taken a pervy photo of you was all but forgotten in your mind even as you were cleaning up the kitchen later that night. 

The photo and the controversy, the burning questions you had about it only came back to mind as you were attempting to scrub a combination of dried glitter glue and pasta sauce off the table and you noticed Mike not-so-subtly creeping around behind you - attempting to reach into your purse. 

He was trying to take the photo back. 

You quickly tossed down the cloth you had been using to clean up and moved toward Mike instead. You were on him before he could blink, taking his wrist in a bruising grip before his hand could successfully come out of your purse with the photo. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, even though you already knew exactly what he was up to. 

With your thumb pushing harshly into the pulse point of his wrist, and your eyes glaring daggers into his - he was quickly becoming light-headed and soft, the way he always did whenever you were on top of him or when you called him baby boy in that fond, sweet way that you often did. He couldn’t conjure up any real explanation, not when he was feeling this way. 

All he could manage was: 

“But - it’s mine.” He breathed out softly, almost a whiny protest - as if you had taken one of his most precious toys and stashed it away because he had misbehaved. 

In a sense, that was exactly what you had done. 

You could only imagine how many times he had masturbated to the photo before you had caught him. How many times had he cum, looking at that picture of your barely covered ass and pussy before the two of you even got together? Before he even saw you naked for the first time? How many times did he make himself cum when that was his only source of sexual material for his fantasies around you? 

It was these burning questions and the thumping ache between your thighs that spurred your next move. 

You used your hold on his wrist to handle him how you pleased, knowing that a little bit of pain made him so easily pliant to your wills. You shoved him into the small kitchen and shoved him up against one of the counters, beside where your purse was sitting, and he huffed out a quiet whine as you trapped him there. You easily caged him in with one of your hands on either side of his waist, slotting your legs around his so that your thigh was right up against his denim clad crotch. 

You pressed forward slightly with your knee, applying a slight bit of pressure that might be painful on his tender cock and balls (especially after last night). But the roughness of the hard seam of his jeans pressing against his tender flesh, even through his underwear, only lit sparks through him and added to that soft, mushy headspace that he was in. 

He refused to look at you now, shifting his gaze off to the side as you pressed further into his personal space, pressing your nose against the side of his unshaven face. 

“It’s yours?” You posed in response to what he had said, your tone utterly mocking. “It’s yours, is it?” 

You reached off to the side and flawlessly grabbed the photo inside your bag without looking (the texture of a polaroid very unique to feel for) - and you held it up in his view, forcing him to look at it while you spoke again. 

“Then surely, you can explain to me how a good boy like you came to own something like this,” You said, your voice dripping with satire toward the ‘good boy’ title he had given himself earlier that day. 

“I’m sorry,” He whimpered, clearly apologetic about the subject. But- 

“That doesn’t explain how you got this, baby.” You told him, clicking your tongue in a scolding manner. “Come on, tell me about it.” 

You used a hand to grab him by both cheeks between your fingers, forcing him to look at you while he explained it. 

“I - I took it.” He admitted quietly. “I took a picture of you. When you weren’t looking. When you were… sleeping.” 

Again, something you already knew. But it was more satisfying to hear him say it, especially with the sharp bob of his throat as he gulped around his fear. 

“You just looked so pretty, I - I couldn’t help myself.” He whispered, clearly timid to admit his lack of self control. 

Though him lacking self control around you was an intense turn-on for you. 

“After everything I’ve given you, you just had to go and take. You had to be a greedy, filthy, bad boy,” You scolded him sharply. 

“It was different then.” He said quietly. “Then… I - I thought I couldn’t have you. I thought you wouldn’t give me anything at all. I - I didn’t think you’d ever want to fuck me.” 

“Oh?” You huffed quietly, your breath puffing out across his cheek, surprised by this revelation. “So you took this picture because you wanted a filthy little piece of me? You didn’t think I’d ever touch your pathetic needy cock so you had to perv on me in secret, huh?” 

He let out a sharp whine at this. It was rare that you degraded him so harshly, rather than praising him sweetly. Surely enough, even if it was unconsciously fueled by lust, his hips bucked toward you, dragging his cock along your thigh, still trapped inside of his jeans and rapidly hardening from the state of the conversation. 

“Look, I’m sorry-” 

“If you say ‘sorry’, one more time, I’m gonna spank you so fucking hard that you won’t be able to sit down for a week.” You threatened, your voice low and dark. 

He let out a whimper at this, and you weren’t entirely sure if the idea appealed to him or sounded like a true threat. He didn’t tempt you by speaking up again, so you continued. 

“Enough with the sorries.” You told him sharply. “How many times did you jack off to this picture without telling me? How often did you look at it, touching your hard, needy dick and thinking about what my cunt might feel like? Huh? Tell me, baby.” 

Mike jutted his hips again, grinding his hard cock against your thigh. 

“Please-” He croaked out. 

Clearly, he was begging for you to release him from the conversation, and to attend to his aching dick. But you didn’t have plans to do either. 

“If you want me to touch you again anytime soon, you’re going to get off against my thigh.” You demanded harshly. “Or you’re not going to get off at all.” 

Mike let out a pathetic, warbling whine in protest, sounding a lot like a kicked puppy. But still, he began to move more consistently against your leg - you stiffened your muscles on purpose and raised your thigh tighter against him, pushing your leg further into his crotch. This movement forced a puff of air from his lungs as you put more pressure on his hard cock. 

“And you’re going to answer my questions.” You added on, reaching behind him and grabbing his hair like you had earlier that day, knowing that a tight tug on his roots would certainly make him more pliant. 

“Ah! O-okay!” He shouted in return, and you hushed him gently. 

“When were you gonna tell me that you’re a dirty little pervert?” You asked, a mocking laughter dancing in your voice. 

Mike started up a rhythm as he fucked himself on your thigh. He whined in the back of his throat, his brow creasing - partially from the heat stirring in his gut and partially from the embarrassment of your interrogation - before he managed an answer. 

“I - I wasn’t.” He answered honestly. 

“How many other secret pervy pictures do you have of me?” You asked. 

“N-none!” He was quick to respond, eager to clear himself of this guilt. 

He definitely wasn’t going to tell you about the pair of your panties that he had stolen the first time he was over at your place. He also wasn’t going to mention the fact that he had snooped in your bathroom to see what brand of shampoo you used and bought the same one just so he could have your scent on tap. He didn’t need you thinking that he was totally pathetic.  

“Don’t lie to me!” You demanded, giving a sharp tug on his hair. 

“‘m not! I’m not! That’s the only one!” He slurred out, becoming more hazy and pleasure drunk as he ground himself harder into your thigh and his cock leaked into his underwear. His brain was absolutely fuzzy from the streaks of pain coming off his scalp when you pulled on his hair like that. 

“How many times have you jerked off to the picture?” You asked. 

More than once a week since he had taken it. It was his favorite guilty pleasure. 

Earlier that day, he hadn’t even meant to take out the photo and jerk off to it. He had been more than satisfied with everything that happened the night before. But when he had opened his nightstand looking for his watch to put it on for the day, and the photo fell from its place stuck underneath the drawer (a perfect hiding place, in his mind). And just like when he had taken the photo, as soon as he saw you so perfectly posed there, he just couldn’t help himself. The sight of your panties sticking out from under your dress just got to him. 

His cock was hard in seconds and next thing he knew, he was sitting there pumping his cock in one hand and holding the picture in the other, listening for the sound of the shower running and hoping he would finish before you did. 

Something about you was so absolutely intoxicating to him, sent his brain back to caveman levels of hormonal and caused him to make the stupidest dick-driven decisions ever. 

“Mommy,” He begged quietly. “Mommy, please.” 

Your stomach clenched - it was a name he used in an attempt to soften you up, trying to make you pliant to his big eyes and whimpering breaths. 

He grabbed both of your hips and tried shoving his face into your neck to hide himself as his hips stuttered against your leg, humping hopelessly like a needy puppy. You yanked him back by the hair before he could fully hide himself and he exhaled in a needy, simpering tone, deflating like a balloon as his shoulders sagged. For a moment, he stopped the movement of his hips altogether - as if expecting you to take over in some way and make him cum. 

“Mommy is only sweet to good boys.” You whispered in his ear. “Mommy punishes dirty little bad boys who can’t take their head out of their dick long enough to behave.” 

He squeezed out a hot breath, seemingly deflating more. You used your free hand to grab his hip, and began guiding him to hump along your thigh once again. 

“Come on, baby.” You encouraged him. “If you don’t cum like this, you don’t get to come for a week.” You gave a gentle warning. “Are you gonna be a good boy? Or are you a stupid little perv? Hmm?” 

The harsh degradation behind your words, the motivation for him to be seen as a good boy in your eyes - that truly got him going again. 

“I’m a good boy.” He said quietly, fucking himself against you, moaning quietly as the friction caused sharp tingles against his cock. “I’m - I’m a good boy.” 

“Show me.” You told him firmly. “Show me what a good boy does.” 

“Please,” He breathed out. “Fuck, Mommy. Please!” 

You knew that he needed more, and you did pity him to an extent - so you gave another tug on his hair and slipped your other hand under the back of his shirt, raking your nails across his back, making claw marks that you knew he loved. The stinging feeling of your nails biting into his skin causing pure sparks that sent heat straight between his thighs. When you leaned in and sharply bit his neck, that truly sent him over the edge, causing him to lose all sense of rhythm and having him bucking wildly, mindlessly against your thigh as he flooded the inside of his underwear with cum. 

“Fuck! Y/N!” He shouted. 

“Shut up!” You bit back. 

You stood back up to your full height, shoving your fingers between his lips to gag him. You knew that you had to be mindful of his volume when she was so deep in it, so absolutely lost in the pleasurable haze that he didn’t care how loud he was being. 

He rode out his orgasm gagging slightly with your fingers pressed against his tongue, his eyes tightly screwed shut, a light sweat gathered on his brow as he continued to hump against your leg, carrying himself through it. 

After a few moments, Mike’s rattling moans turned into harsh, open-mouthed pants around your fingers as he caught his breath, and you eased your fingers out of his mouth, enjoying the thread of spit that came off his lips far too much. 

When he collapsed his head onto your shoulder this time, you let him. 

“You’re - you’re not really mad about the picture, are you?” He asked, gently huffing the words into your shirt as he struggled to catch his breath. “Because if-” 

“I’m not mad about it.” You clarified, moving your hand from under his shirt to pet through his hair calmly, wanting to reassure him of this. “In fact, I think it’s pretty hot.” 

“Really?” He asked, his gaze shooting up to inspect your expression, almost not believing your words. Even though you were always very honest and transparent when communicating your feelings to him. 

“Yes.” You answered honestly. “I think it’s hot that you found me so attractive from the moment we met.” 

“‘Attractive’ is a bit of an understatement.” He mumbled quietly in response. 

Interesting.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

MWIII Campaign Thoughts and Reviews

(Played in the recruit difficulty because I suck at FPS games, and I want to explore and spent time in the campaign without dying too much). Leave some thoughts!

⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️

So… that was devastating. 

(+) To start things off, Makarov - Boy, holy shit. Yes. YESSS. They didn’t hold back with the new Makarov. He’s a mastermind, he’s a charming fella, he’s a psychopath lol. And the fact that he smiles a lot in this campaign just adds to the creepiness. I might get some side-eye here, but this Mak can go head-to-head with the OG!Mak. He’s always onto something, he’s proven destructive, had the 141 hauling ASS to chase him.

Makarov had stolen American missiles from ULF, caused false flag missile attacks on Russian Military base, and successfully orchestrated a false airplane hijacking, all under ULF's name - everything in the span of 48 hours since he got out of prison. I saw people saying that this Makarov ain't got nothing on the OG one has to be inhaling some shit copium because this is only in one single game and he's destroying shit.

I know just one game with rushed development won’t be enough for an iconic character like him, so I’m glad they didn’t kill him.

(-) I absolutely ABHOR, DETEST, LOATH the Open Combat Missions (OCM). It is so very not Call of Duty campaignesque. it doesn’t help anything with the narrative, and if anything, it even took away the narrative for us. The former missions in former games are iconic in their own way because the mission designer put a lot of thought into how the game will be played, the situations we found ourselves in.

But OCM's, we're like... Left to our own devices without any story-driven dialogues.

I think one of the reasons why MWII was so close to everyone's heart was because of the banters between the characters, especially in Alone. Here, because it's literally our choice and our time, it left us with no actual given time to know and love the characters more than we already did. Yes we love the characters, MW19 and MWII did that for us. But in this one? They said "character development is done, mate. Now go to war.”

Then again, is OCM a product and evidence of MWIII’s rushed development? 100% yes. I don’t give a shit if they cover it with “oowh we make OCM so you can play the missions differently each time without repeating the same mission over and over again!”. Let me ask you this, Activision - Have ‘repeating the mission over and over again’ been a problem with us campaign-enjoyers? No! I played the MWII campaign like 5 times, in all difficulty (except realism I still love my life), and I enjoyed it, because the mission designers took a lot of time and thought to it instead of just creating a map, putting a bunch of loadouts scattered around the area and throw us in it. So yes, it’s clear that OCM is a product of rushed development. It sucks the life out of the campaign missions.

Some people may enjoy it, but I play the campaign exactly for the linear style missions, not DMZ style.

(+) Look, I said it before that I will go to the campaign with the lowest expectation possible. I expected Mak to be sub-par, I expected them to play safe with the characters, and BOY WAS I WRONG. Setting aside the point above where the character feels stuck on the character development (which is a huge minus btw), all the characters have time to shine in their own missions, especially Price because I feel like we play him the most. However, I do also love the fact that the girls get shit done here. Farah and Laswell did their work so beautifully and apparently it was revealed that Laswell will be a MP operator, so that’s cool. 

(+) Ghost being a menacing presence, can stood his ground. Price being level-headed though at the same time unhinged as usual. Gaz being the voice of reason throughout the entire fucking game LMAO. Soap being the brave man he is, the passion and fury is evident throughout the campaign. Farah being badass and dependable as usual. Alex being the main supportive guy to Farah (Faralex is canon at this point argue with a wall). Nikolai being our most reliable get-away guy.

And of course, Graves and Shepherd being the fucking goofy ahh duo I actually find interesting. The trial cutscene was such a goofy scene LMAO the fact that they backstabbed each other in the ass is real funny. I side with Graves though. However wrong and unhinged he may be, Graves is just a guy doing his job and did what he’s told to do.

(+) I love the fact that Mak tried to frame Urzikstan to pin the blame on them. It's exactly what the OG!Makarov did but in HD. The Passenger mission is phenomenal and more damn traumatizing if only it was a bit longer and more stretched. There are many more reference to the OG games and I absolutely love it.

Now…

Soap’s Death

Remembering all the MWII missions with Soap... It hits differently now, man. 

(-) I've read a lot of people's arguments about it that the fact that it happened is just for shock value and kind of disappointing. Because let’s be real here, Soap is an SAS who got the name Soap because of how much of a slippery bastard he is. Granted, Mak is an ex-Spetsnaz and can fight with Soap. But how he went down in a goddamn takedown without any chance of fighting is just… it’s not it.

To add to that, the reaction from the boys is just... Underwhelming? Like I get it they're battle-hardened SAS soldiers, but let them show some damn emotions for fuck’s sake. One of the main reason why the OG!Soap’s death is really painful is because of Price’s reaction to it. How he said “NO. NO NO NO SOAP!!” While he shook Soap’s lifeless body in the table. At least let Price kneel to him, straighten his body, touch his vest. Close his eyes, gather Soap’s hand and PUT HIS GUN ON his chest all the while Ghost and Gaz knelt beside them. I do love the fact that they literally went to Scotland to let go of his ashes with Ghost holding the urn though. I cried in this scene. 

And the fact that it happened with the shortest campaign out of all the reboot MW games, it just felt rushed. Yes. It’s completely rushed, there’s no doubt about it. Again, the result of rushed developments.

(+) Now, with that said, I kind of want to shed light on how Soap is literally the youngest guy in the group. He had so much to live for. He's a sunshine in the middle of this gruff emotionally hardened man. He's such a joy to be around. He's brave. He's fresh. The fact that he's got so much to live for adds to the sadness and bitterness, which I actually like.

Sometimes I do kind of like those kinds of deaths, where the character is too soon to die,  because it hit so much harder and in a different way than the OG! one. We got to see the OG!Soap went from when he was an FNG, turn to a captain, to a man of fortitude that  earned Price's honor and sacrificed himself to protect Price. We saw how he developed and changed. We saw his entire career with us throughout all the OG!MW trilogy.

Reboot!Soap's story barely even started, and the fact that he's still so young, imagining how he'd be one hell of an officer, how he'd lead his team in the future. 

OG!Soap’s death is sad because all the times and memories we’ve been through with him, but Reboot!Soap’s death is equally sad for the times we could’ve gone through with him.

I want to say this though, some people said that Soap's death is sudden, but I wouldn't agree with that. I think the telltales are all there.

In the helicopter scene after Price and Soap caught him in Verdansk, Mak literally SAID HIS FULL NAME. That is a literal pinpoint death sentence from Makarov. And how emotional Soap’s reaction is compared to the other boys when the airport blew up. The signs are literally all there! I saw it coming actually. 

So is Soap’s death rushed? Yes. Could it have been executed better? Yes. Is it for shock value? Yes. But is it as sad? Yes. Honestly, I blame the rushed development and due dates for this. Activision is a cash grabber who wanted a yearly release so they can catch more money. I fucking bet my ass that initially they didn’t want to kill Soap, but it’s like a last-minute decision to make this game actually look like it’s worth 70 dollars. 

Like by the end of the game, nothing has been accomplished. Big Bad Guy is on the loose, and we lost Soap. Yea we did stop some of Makarov's attacks, but we ended with a loss. It's a completely sad ending. I just wish we get to continue with more missions after Soap's death like in OG!MW3 though :(

WHAT'S NEXT?

Now. Shepherd is positively fucken dead. Price is now an actual criminal and a fugitive. He just killed a 4-star US Marines general in his own office. Price is entering his insane and unhinged era. I do wonder if he'll go even more unhinged than this.

The story will undoubtedly continue in the MP seasons (although probably only 2 seasons that mattered because it'll also undoubtedly be filled with skins and collabs and shit). I think it will also focus more on transitioning to the next CoD games, which will be Black Ops (It is confirmed that for the 2024 and 2025 CoD, it will be Black Ops games).

We're talking future here, so if there's going to be a CoD MWIV, It might be possible that this is the game where we'll finally defeat Makarov while the 141 copes with losing Soap. I do wonder if Price will become too unhinged and will get rid of everything on his way to kill Mak. Price's reckless acts will become too much for Gaz that it's starting to hurt other people and himself, and Gaz will do something against Price's command or wish - and Ghost will have to choose a side. Now that's the kind of drama I want to see.

What do I score this campaign, what do I score this campaign... The story is actually good, but because the development is evidently rushed, the packaging feels a bit hollow. It's a 7/10 for me!

---

Wait you know what

We get to pet a dog named Riley. 10/10, Game of The Fucking Year.

Reboot!Logan/Hesh (?) 👀

---

So there it goes! If you've read this far I love you and Activision will pay for my therapy (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

[angelicsjn]

i’m curious, but what would it be like if the famous!yans announced their relationship publicly (I'm curious about Jae lmao)

YOUR THREE YANDERES.

A N: I love this idea. Jae is always a wild card, me thinks, lol.

A B O U T: Roman, Jae, and Kaidan go public with you.

W A R N I N G S: None.

— ROMAN BEAUREGARD.

The world stood still in that moment — your face and name slathered across articles and Formula 1 Wag accounts online. You didn't want it to happen. It was the last thing you wanted. His fans are brutal and well. He's one of the most famous F1 drivers in history. It's a lot to live up to.

"Have you seen it all?" You asked, shoving your screen in his face. He leaned his head back, his hand ruffling his dark hair, his brows furrowed for a moment before looking away with an unbothered expression, "Yes, I made it so." Was all he said, his accent strong on his tongue.

It sent you spiralling because what does he mean by that? He wanted everyone to know? Without you knowing? The comments were turned off on each post, the articles stating your business and even stating that you're just 'an average person'. You wanted to throw up.

"I see no point in keeping our relationship a secret — I'm not going anywhere, neither are you. The world deserves to know that, no?" He looked your way, his grey eyes staring into yours almost threateningly. Was this to test your loyalty?

— JAE 'NIKO' LEE.

Your week consisted of masks and hiding away at home — it sucked. But the sadistic side of Jae loved it. Being able to keep you home, "Just in case. It's better to be safe. Those sasaeng's are crazy, baby." He said, but internally he was grinning.

He didn't do it on his own accord. At first, he was angry, of course. It could have damaged his reputation as an idol. To have the thought of someone hurting you. It made him angry to even imagine.

But, once he saw the aftermath, he was beyond ecstatic. To see you only leave the house covered up, to stay home and depend on him. It made his ego flair up bigger than before, "I'll keep you safe. At least we don't have to hide now!" He sang, his voice seemingly innocent, but now his teeth were deeper in your skin than ever before.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

If it wasn't public from the get-go, it's public very early all because of him. Maybe it's a few soft launch pics. Your hand in a photo. Both of your meals side by side. The back of your head in a store. Whatever. Even if you're not keen on the posts, he simply says, "Don't worry, love. I wouldn't post anything to upset you!" — as he is posting things that are upsetting you.

Then, one day, he full-on posts a video with you in it. Maybe a recap of the month. Or him doing a silly video where you just so happen to be in view, clearly on accident!

It blows up clearly. And he's quick to respond, of course influencer style: sat down in front of the camera with a ringlight and a serious face. After a few days of grilling from his fans, he had enough, "I love you all and all of the support but if you can't support me and my relationship and my partner then please unfollow me. Let's only spread love." He'd say, and then soon after, people were making couple edits of you both, saying you're the cutest.

Thing is, Kaidan may be delusional to the point of insanity, but if anyone hurts you, he sees right through that part of his brain and protects you — but because his fans are his income, he tries to be as polite as he can. He's not that dumb to leave his fans to rip into you because 'they're just supporting me!' He loves you too much to do that.

[enden-k]

Oh yea i didnt mean it in a personal way that was just badly phrased sorry. (Realising after typing it out that "why i need that hug" is only making sense in my head. Or maybe it doesnt make sense in english how i mean it sorry again)

I just like the concept so much of Vika and Saran. The drawing how he gets craddle knowing that he will get eventually eaten but they are so fluffy and healthy and tearing at the boys because AAAAHHH. Im so obsessed with this concept right now, maybe its my sick brain needing something to cling too. Tenderness in a darker concept.

And keeping it short. Do you get the concept of liking a character a certain specific way but everyone else i want to talk with about the character is just like "yea he is hot, yea he looks cool" but they never go into deeper character analysing ways and then i dont want to talk with them at all about that character.

-🐉

kjasbk its ok its ok

i like to think vika and sarans relationship is like this whole "dark love" themed, but in a consensual, non toxic way as i usually like AHHA (toxic yaoi/yuri my beloved). the super early super first idea was to go into toxic iirc but as i fleshed out their dynamic, saran turned so soft and gentle with vika and i like this so much better. it feels like its supposed to be like this with them: love and tenderness in a gloomy/dark setting

theres genuine, tender, healthy love for each other, both being right there when the other needed it the most. all vika wants is to look into sarans eyes and bask in these feelings and sarans love he finds there, yet every look costs him minutes of his life. their love is literally eating at him but its what he willingly chose and what brings him happiness. and he knows even when his time comes and he will be devoured completely, he will be with saran beyond death. all they do, its all mutual, its all consensual, its all tender.

im aro but whenever i draw them im like whoag this must be what love feels like. my hearts so full haha

overall im kinda trying to give them this "it looks like this but you have to look deeper to properly see" thing like. from the outside it looks like saran trapping vika in his hold and gaze and not letting him escape ever while in truth, its saran keeping him safe and cradled. or whenever saran babbles. the ambiguous meaning?? fooling ppl on first sight?? "look deeper or properly, its not how it seems at first." idk how to describe. maybe i also suck at conveying it AHHAHAHAHKAJSBCKJ

anw im rambling, idk where i wanted to go wtih this. i rlly cant shut up abt them LMAO sorry. im really happy to see how you like them and whats going on with them tho, this means a lot

ALSO I UNDERSTAND THAT SO WELL. i have the tendency to study a character under a microscope if i really really enjoy them and when i tried (i dont talk much to ppl anymore so its all in the past) to talk abt them to ppl who claimed to love them as much as i and then it turned out it was just superficial/surface level, i could feel my excitement shattering and just didnt discuss character studies or lore etc anymore. ofc ppl can like character how they want, im not saying its bad. i just always felt a bit alone/disappointed/embarrassed whenever it happened so im just keeping to myself now. so yeaa i get that

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[razberrybones]

Yo

The online therian community sucks

Some of it really does. From what I've seen from tiktok? eugh yeah. and it's really not as welcoming on other platforms as it is here. I'm happy for all of the positive aspects and good people i've found, the accessibility to resources and knowledge is something i really adore. But I cant say anything for in person interactions or I guess? the in person community? Haven't met another therian or nonhuman out in the wild </3 I'm envious of everyone who has lmao

I dont know enough of the online therian community to actually be able to say if anythings wrong with it or if there's something we could do to improve, but im open to suggestions.

I get the feeling this was likely sent as hate, but I'm very optimistic pfft

If it was sent as hate, lets try to work though this yeah?

So first things first, I'm tired and a very flawed being with limited knowledge on this topic. I'm gonna be wrong and considerably ungraceful with some things, and i welcome anyone to add on where they can. Now, lemme give it a shot.

By 'sucks' i'm taking it as you personally don't like it. Not liking something is perfectly okay, but going out of your way to tell someone that you personally do not like something that is theirs is mean, and not a good look. I know you've likely heard that everywhere, too. Its a seemingly simple message that a lot of people just don't understand or ever manage to apply to their lives because they don't care to.

Let's try and explain it.

So hate? Why spread it? Normally it comes from dissatisfaction in the self, or situation the person is in or was in. Growing up and being in unhealthy environments contributes a lot. Anywhere with particular societal expectations has ingrained this toxic cookie cutter type mentality on top of whatever they've been taught by their life this far. I understand why people choose to hate, but it's only going to keep the cycle repeating. That is feeling awful and then being awful because of it.

People tend to spread hate the most when they hate themselves. It is always taught. Sometimes by people who are ill intended but sometimes they genuinely meant well, they themselves just didn't know any better. What matters now is what're you going to do with it? This awful painful feeling? Most people just put it back out into the world perpetuating the cycle, and that is the easier thing to do, but unlearning it is the best thing you can do for yourself and others.

We've been taught that only certain things are okay or should be accepted, but there's really not any harm in it if it's not hurting anyone. And that goes for everything non harmful such as wearing clothes not in fashion or liking sea turtles a lot, even all together looking or working different, not just therianthropy or nonhumans.

Learning that other things, sometimes besides just what you've been taught, are okay will help you accept vastly different people and situations in life. And most of all! Yourself.

From what I've seen people throw out hate because they think they have to be one certain way, and then this thing that was originally meant to keep them safe is harming them and others. They've made a little metal cage in their head, and now the bars and joints are cutting into them. They've far out grown it, and have no reason to stay in the cage, but it's safe to them. It kept them safe from whatever was out of the cage. That thing is long gone of course but it was a very scary experience. Stepping out is horrifying if you think a tiger is going to bite you.

You need to evaluate if you're actually in a safe space to set out of the cage, whether you feel safe or not. Be patient with yourself and all of that. Just remember you're a person who's never done this before, you're not going to have a good idea of what you're doing or anything. It's okay to fuck up. Just start little.

It really pains me when i see hate online, because I just worry for that person. I know someone who isn't just parroting what they've heard wouldnt do that. It just paints a picture of dissatisfaction and gives them an uncomfortable air. I really wish everyone could be okay and learn it feels much better to be open minded and grow. It's like they're putting themselves in a blender and saying "this! this is the perfect form!" and man, im rambling now and dont remember my point. It is past my bedtime. but!! I want to help.

I want to help everybody. Everybody is fuckin awesome they just dont know it yet, and i can help if they are willing. I can show them if they're willing. I love everybody, maybe not their actions or how they feel sometimes but everyone is a person or being and that's worthy of love. That's enough. so get up there and change smth, make your life a little better, sit outside without your phone for a bit, watch a ted talk while you brush your teeth. its fucken awful now, but you'll never see if it gets better if you jsut stop seeing all together. Its a new day everyday, you get a fresh start so often, so many opportunities to do what you can. Even just thinking about it is a start if you cant pull yourself to take that first step. The first is the hardest but i truly believe life wouldn't throw smth at you that you couldn't handle. You can do it, one step at a time.

And now it's late for me, and i hope the best for everyone. i think i lost my point half way through, but after rereading it a few times i still cannot tell. I hope it is good enough :salute:

Wait i think i just realized you're the lamb. if im remembering the name correctly.

[blitz0hno]

Why I'm Voting Inno Mikoto even tho He Definitely Did It

or should I say DID i-*🏏smacked*

TL;DR like many I do not believe a word John says, but I also don't think he has the entire truth. Meanwhile Mikoto's amnesia is near undoubtable. With two unreliable narrators and solid evidence of self-defense, I think we need more before declaring him guilty.

I'm here to be Mikoto's lawyer cuz John ily but you suck at it 😭

Now onto why I'm voting Inno:

Mikoto isn't lying when he says he doesn't remember murdering those people, at least not entirely. The memory is in his subconscious, but he can't even remember the faces of his victims because they were both so out of it.

I believe what we see in MeMe is safe to assume to be his first. The first mannequin smashed onscreen is this one:

That looks like a damn FNAF jumpscare lmao this tells me that his baseball hobby probably saved him from getting jumped at that train station, but it came at a heavy price.

That's where John comes in. To handle the feelings that undoubtedly came with taking a life and having to hide the evidence.

Generally in DID alter's memories fall into one of 3 categories (my observations of myself and other systems):

That event happened. These are all the details. I feel nothing about it.

That event happened and I remember everything I felt like it was seconds ago, but I couldn't tell you specifics

That event happened??

The latter two can safely be assigned to John and Bokukoto. The first one is what we're missing.

I saw someone point out how the train could symbolize that he can never go back (credit urself in the tags if u see this it was a good one) to before he killed.

That brings me to our final scene.

Remember how John split to handle the feelings of that stressor? The feeling of unsafety, pure adrenaline, and righteous anger at the attacker is a horrific thing, but once you experience it you change. In order for an alter to handle the reality of something, it must be accepted somehow. John's way of accepting it is not remembering their faces, only his expressions and actions. That's probably why he's so aggressive; constant fight-or-flight mode.

Mikoto (Bokukoto), like with whatever happened to him in early childhood to cause DID, is unable to accept these realities because doing so would shatter his world (it turns out constant fight-or-flight isn't great for your social life).

So about John's statement that he didn't know any of the victims even though he totally did, at least a little;

John is reading the room and there it is: unsafety, pure adrenaline, and righteous anger at the attacker. That's all he needs to feel to know that it's time to protect Mikoto.

That's not the face and mannerisms of a man who bashes skulls in for kicks. This shit was personal.

I can't tell if it's one or two victims in the second clip here, but I strongly believe they had something to do with his work. His subconscious is really harping on how much his boss got on him and how stressed it made him. Something happened that pushed them over the edge. You don't call your mom after you kill for fun (or maybe you do idk). You call your mom when you know you're fucked.

John initiated the second killing but I don't think he was the only one making a conscious decision. That said, I don't have enough details to condemn Mikoto to another unforgiven verdict.

So, where will we find that info? Well remember RGB Mikoto/Trikoto theory (kudos to whoever coined those too)? Well when I broke down the compartmentalization earlier I hinted that there's a strong chance that SOMEONE remembers every detail, but feels nothing and lays dormant.

Good old green Mikoto, the only one we haven't seen speak yet the one who's given us the most detail so far (via MeMe).

Even if not and Bokukoto remembers more than he's letting on/gets in contact with John, the crime itself isn't unforgivable beyond a shadow of a doubt yet even with multiple victims. His reasons are still cloudy.

Also I like him

[crypticjackal13]

Can I request a platonic (Sun wukong x reader and macaque x reader) with a trans masc reader

Like where the reader is like a younger brother to them and they come out and just headcannons of them as older brothers

(They are my comfort characters and I need more platonic content)

I AGREE I AGREE I AGREE I AGREE

Macaque and SWK with a transmasc lil bro PLATONIC HEADCANONS

Ok, so first off when you tell them, they are the most chill dudes ever. Like "oh, he/him now? Sure man"

they are both super good at not misgendering or deadnaming you. AND they 100000% will correct everyone.

unless you tell them you can handle yourself or something consider yourself very protected. Macaque listens to everything, and Wukong can see through everything.

Macaque offers to take you out to look for new clothes if you'd like them, he has a much better sense of style (he is also the one who can go places without being recognized unlike Wukong)

Wukong is really good at helping out with dysphoria. I hc that he's kinda meh about his own gender, like yeah he's "male" but really he doesn't give a single shit. But he knows how it feels to hate being in your body, and he is happy to offer up coping ideas

some of these ideas include more “odd” things, like covering mirrors so you don’t have to look at yourself. But it’s mostly more “common” things like doing some exercise or eating a safe food.

one thing they both suck at is suggesting ways to go forward with your transition. Wukong being Wukong will be like “Ah no problem I can rip off your things if you don’t want em!” And you have to remind him you aren’t immortal like him lmao

macaque actually sides with Wukong on this one, however they WILL NOT if you don’t want them to.

they’ll jump through whatever hoops they have to to help you change legal documents. Legally or not, they want you to feel comfortable looking at paperwork

Having a brotherly relationship after coming out will also entail them asking how comfortable you are with roughhousing or playing around like the two of them do, or even with light teasing or bickering. They don’t want to make you feel like you’re being bullied

that being said if you say you’re alright with it you better be on GUARD bc they will show up just about everywhere

they care for you through and through, and even on your worst of days they’ll be there for you and reassure you that they always will be. No matter how you identify! :)

[cat-of-starlight]

Ok-

In the wake of the new Limbus Brainrot because Canto 4 ended, I've been seeing a certain... Dante related theory... making the rounds again and I wanted to post my thoughts about it.

Putting it under the cut for length reasons- No specific spoilers?, I just don't wanna blast people with the text wall lmao

I gotta say, I really hate the Dante = Ayin theory. Desperately.

Not any hate to the people theorizing- not like that, I just already have a deep hatred of [x person is actually y person]/Reincarnation/etc. theories.

Why, you may ask? Well, in the case of this theory specifically, I have three main reasons.

1 - The vibes of the two characters themselves

Important note, I actually like both characters. I know some people have A Lot to say about Ayin, and honestly so do I (Probably different things but yea), but I generally don't mind him as much as some other people seem to.

I also love Dante.

And Specifically, I'll say- I like them both for Incredibly Different Reasons. Different enough reasons that I feel that mixing the two would ruin them both. I mean sure, Dante CLEARLY has something going on in the memories they can't yet remember, but honestly? Ayin already had his arc. HAD his chance in the spotlight- a whole game of it. I wouldn't mind a cameo, or reason for him to be important in some way, but I'd be crushed if all the reasons I've come to love Dante were smothered by "oops all Ayin"

I feel like it would make it almost... Pointless? "Oh yea this character may have had their whole character arc, but surprise! They aren't REALLY their own person and are instead this dude who already had his character arc!"

2 - They/Them Dante Supremacy™

Now, considering that the meme They/Them Dante post that I made blew up and is now my most popular post on my blog, I think its safe to say where I stand on the Dante's Pronouns part of everything-

I think it would be kind of... dismissive of that to make "Oh yea they were they/them to hide their identity" Because uhhh. Their identity is already hidden. We can't see their face. Literally anyone could have their head taken, a clock replaced, and that outfit slapped on and it generally wouldn't matter-

I feel like it kind of would send the message of "They can only count as they/them because their everything is hidden and we can't tell anyway" which??? No??? Even once Dante's actual head gets revealed, if people start switching calling them to whatever gender they look the most like and the game still uses they/them I'm Going To Bite People.

3 - ??

The least plot relevant, and the most just vibe based is- I just kinda feel like this type of reveal in writing often kinda feels like a cop out? I mean, I'm sure there's probably a well done version of one of these, but I sure as hell haven't found it yet-

I mean, in a BIG city with TONS of characters, there is SO MUCH plot that a character can have, without needing to jump back to a character that they already have. Sure- Project Moon Protags often have a Big Reveal, and its often Shocking- but does it really need to be a rehashed reveal from the first game? "boo he's old news get new material" ya know?

--

Anyway yea. I don't like the theory- Never have from the first time I saw a post about it.

If you like it, feel free to keep on with it- I don't mean this to say "If you theorize this, you suck" or anything, I just keep seeing it, and felt the desire to put my own two cents in~

But yea, keep on with it if you like it? Maybe tag it something specific and I'll just block the tag lmao

[genericpuff]

ULO user here! I recently went back and found several old comments I'd made on LO while I was a huge fan of it in 2019.. so embarassing looking back lol. You mentioned that you used to send a bunch of "fangirl" messages back in the day- would love to see your old thoughts/opinions back when you loved LO to compare as a fun(if a bit melancholic) journey, if you'd be willing to share a few? Your thoughts/analysis are always amazing, but I'm super curious as to how you felt back before you realized what a shitshow it was

Haha yeah, I was a fangirl in the sense of like... always being on time for new updates, even if I was out doing other things, messaging my real life friend who got me into the comic to talk about it. Back then Saturday was the height of my week, sometimes the cliffhangers would get me so excited I'd spend the entire week thinking about what could happen next. I suppose I do still look forward to Saturdays now, but for much different reasons.

It's a lil' shameful looking back but I did used to be one of those "don't like it don't read it" dickheads LOL I also used to "not see the issue" with the age gap thing, not because I was okay with age gaps, but as someone who tends to write about immortal beings, I followed the same line of thinking that "they're gods, it shouldn't matter", until I realize just how silly it was that if that were the case, the comic wouldn't be constantly calling out the age difference and drawing Persephone to look as young as possible. I had to really sit on LO for a long time before I started seeing the issues with it. Ironically what opened my eyes to it was lurking in the #antiloreolympus hashtag every now and then, I'd be reading the opinions like "these opinions suck! they don't get it! they're just being nitpicky/mean/etc.!" and yet I duped myself by doing just that because it exposed me to other points of view which became more and more relevant as the comic declined in quality. I think it was around the trial arc that I started to notice the holes (one of the big tells for me that maaaybe LO didn't know what it was doing was when Persephone chose Hades to be her lawyer despite him being one of the judges and someone she was romantically involved with, like hello?) and then when the series returned from its mid-season hiatus and skipped right over Persephone's time in the Mortal Realm, that was when I realized the criticisms weren't coming from nowhere and I got off the high horse and started to read their points with more of an open mind.

Of course, I can safely say I wasn't as shitty as some of the stans can be, most of my opinions were just in the weekly discussion threads in the LO sub, but I was still giving my opinions on LO as if it was a Canvas comic, failing to recognize that 1.) just because webcomics are a budding industry doesn't mean they should be exempt from criticism, and 2.) LO isn't anywhere near the same level as Canvas, it's a #1 NYT best selling book with a creator who's won awards, so it absolutely should be subject to criticism and analyzing as LO is representing that same budding industry in a lot of ways.

I'm trying to find stuff from my pre-ULO days but unfortunately nothing from my main profile is loading past the last 9 months LMAO But if I do find any specific examples I'll definitely post them so we can roast past me together (*≧︶≦))(￣▽￣* )ゞI definitely remember back when ULO was created, it came at a perfect time I think LOL

[tr1ck5]

I wasn't originally planning on writing any of this, but I've read so many wonderful and deeply personal love letters to FFVIII yesterday and today for its 25th anniversary that it kind of emboldened me to.

So here goes I guess, kind of somewhat personal wall of text about a ps1 game, under the cut. You've been warned!

Okay now I don't know how to start. You could say FFVIII came into my life at exactly the right time for me to absolutely imprint on it.

I remember playing the demo that came with a bunch of other demos from a PSN magazine; I'd watched my older brother play a lot of FFVII beforehand and I was enchanted by the story, graphics and characters, the music... Even though my understanding of english at the time was next to mediocre so I relied on him to explain things a lot. I was like... 8 or 9 then so loads of subjects and plot points went completely over my head but it didn't matter at all to me (It was kind of hilarious when I replayed it when I was older because I was like damn, this story is a LOT more convoluted/complicated than I remember wth??? Lmao)

When VIII finally released and I watched my brother play, I was now 10/11 and sometimes he'd play without me so I missed a lot of stuff (and it's rather funny because I remember looking at Squall and co at first and being like whoa, those adults have got their shit together so much and wow how I ever could have looked at Squall and thought that, is beyond me lmao) but when he was done with it I picked it up and played. And sucked. But it stayed with me through my teenage years, never too far.

I was then a lot more fluent in english and literature in general so it pretty much was my first real big 'story-driven' video game ever. I was so damn invested, and, perhaps most of all, I saw myself in Squall so damn much it was borderline uncanny. I think it's so comforting (or alarming depending on how you want to look at it lol) that that seems to be a common thing for all of us die-hard fans. We just 'get it', don't we?

I've... always been a 'weird' kid. That kid other kids somehow know to stay away from, because something is 'off' with them, before they learn how to mock and bully. And I was aware of my 'otherness' as much as them, for as long as I can remember. I never quite fit in, anywhere, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't have a lot of friends, and the very few I had I always kept at arms' length for self-preservation reasons. If I was never vulnerable, if they knew nothing deeper than surface-level stuff about me, they could never hurt me. And this way I wouldn't get too attached, so when they left it wouldn't hurt. Sound familiar?

Admittedly it's safe to assume that I had a somewhat fucked-up childhood (I mean, I wasn't an orphan forced to become a child soldier but still lol) as these behaviours didn't appear out of nowhere, and Squall's inner monologues and way of seeing things just resonated so much with me, I couldn't believe this guy was the hero that saved the day, despite all his traumas and anxiety... But he was. And he did. And his friends cared for him despite it all. And someone fell in love with him, flaws and all. He realized his way of life wasn't sustainable forever and he just... changed. But he wasn't unlovable. He wasn't irredeemable and broken! I cried so much the first time I finished that game. It felt so fucking unfair, I felt like I'd grown and matured right alongside Squall but as the credits rolled and the tv screen turned black I was met with my reflection; alone, in my room. Where were my friends, where was my Rinoa?

I'm an extremely private person. Sharing deep things about myself is extremely difficult for me and twice now I've come this close to erasing the entirety of this post. I have to fight the voice in my head that says this is irrelevant and useless at best, and dangerous to divulge so much personal info at worst. When I talk about personal things, even to the people closest to me, I start shaking and I feel nauseous and cold all over. Even today, right now as I'm typing this!

But this damn video game made me realize that I would never be happy and at peace if I was never honest and vulnerable. Because when you spend years around someone and know loads of things about them yet they know nothing about you, you're not a friend; you're an acquaintance. To love is to give a person the means to hurt you and trust them not to. You have to take that leap.

I eventually found my friends, and my Rinoa; I'm still having trouble trusting and opening up and relying on others but it got better, and it gets better still, and it's in part because of that. one. video game. Ain't that just crazy? A little bit, probably. Who cares.

I feel this wall of text of a post is all over the place and probably TMI but wow good on you for reading through it all lmao. Am I gonna regret posting this in the morning? Most definitely. But hopefully I have the strenght to leave it up. Hopefully someone somewhere can also relate, like I've related so much to all of your posts on this game! Ultimately I am deeply grateful and amazed by this community, we're the black sheeps, the underdogs, the often ill-understood... But I wouldn't want it any other way.

Happy 25th anniversary, Final Fantasy VIII.

[eddieschains]

Thief. JK. (That’s just kidding not Jungkook) can I get 38 with Joe? Or Billy if you’re feeling up to writing him.

or whoever you want to write it for really onkksh really wanna see 38 lmao

the way you tempted me to write this for Jungkook just because… anyways i went with Joe because i’m so scared to write for Billy 😭 hope you still like it!!!

38. “We passed “just friends” about 20 fucks ago”

You and Joe had been attached at the hip practically since you two were born. Your parents were friends, which resulted in you two basically being forced to be the same.

Growing up, you did everything together. Went on trips together, went to parties together, hell you even would do double dates together. An excessive amount. It’s probably why neither of you could keep a relationship for more than a few months. Always something about how your partners thought you had feelings for each other. You always brushed it off, saying they didn’t understand your relationship. But with time, they proved to be right.

It was a drunken night out. Your parents anniversary party. You and Joe had a little too much to drink, ended up going home with each other, and fucked in every room until neither of you could stand straight anymore.

You both thought it was a regretful decision. But for some reason, you kept doing it. Every weekend without fail to be exact. The same thing, go out, get a bit tipsy, come home, and let your sexual frustrations out on each other.

You thought it was only physical. Which was fine at first. You weren’t getting laid anywhere else, so why not do it with someone you felt the most comfortable and safe with?

But, it’s easy to get attached when you have the same man thrusting inside of you and telling you how beautiful you are every week.

You’d been avoiding Joe for weeks now. Trying to process your feelings for him. Wondering if maybe it’s just the hormones talking, or if you really do love him.

Of course you love him. But only as a friend, right? Right…?

As the weeks go by, your phone becomes flooded with more messages everyday from Joe. You always gave him some lame excuse of you being tired, or not feeling well. And when he offered to come over for support, you ghosted him.

You never had a problem that he couldn’t solve, or that you didn’t need his assistance for. He knew something was up, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. That’s probably why he was pounding on your door at 9 pm.

“Jesus i’m coming!” You yell from inside the house. You huff a sigh before opening the door, being met with a very worried looking Joe. “Joseph.”

“Y/N.” He responds, pushing his way past you and into the living room. You groan, closing the door behind him. “So… wanna tell me what’s wrong? Or do I have to guess?” He sits on the arm of the couch, arms crossed as he awaits your answer.

“Nothing is wrong, Joe. Just haven’t been feeling great.” You take a seat on the couch, hoping if you fake sick he’ll leave you alone.

“You don’t look sick.” He sits next to you, examining your face. “Are you running a fever?” He places the back of his hand on your forehead. “No…”

“Joe stop!” You spit. He stops in his tracks, placing his hand back in his lap. “God I- I just…” You trail off, not able to complete your sentence.

“Well spit it out, won’t you?” He lightly chuckles.

“I need to know what this is. What we are.” He sucks in a breath, averting his eyes from yours. “Are we just friends who fuck or are we more? I need to know because if i’m honest, i’m catching feelings. But you probably don’t feel the same way and i’m just embarrassed by the whole thi-“

He cuts you off by smashing his lips against yours. You fall back slightly, before bringing your hand to his neck and sinking into it.

“Babe… I think we passed just friends 20 fucks ago.” You let out a sigh of relief, laughing at the way he was always able to find humor in the most vulnerable moments.

“Oh thank god. You have no idea how scared I was to talk about this.” You smile.

“I could tell. If you weren’t running a fever before you might be now.” He giggles, dramatically touching your face to check.

“Well i’m feeling a bit better now…” You smirk.

smut prompts!!

He picks you up off the couch, leading you to the bedroom. “Then what are we waiting for?”

[wadesprincessboy]

Shout out to my fellow singlets with "innerworlds/headspaces" (quotation marks as im not sure this is the correct term for a singlet to use!).

A long description of my inner world and the way my brain works is found below....

I am a maladaptive daydreamer and autistic and i have a very detailed inner world / worlds / universes that i interact with very often. I call mine my inside brain. I visualize it as a world in the center of my brain (if all brain functions were on the outer shell, this world is inside like a bubble). It is infinite. It has layers and depth and it can be zoomed in and out to different parts of it. It can also be "swiped" to a different world (i have two main ones) as well as there being many alternate versions of each world. They grow and change with me and what i need most at that time. I only interact with one main one these days but i keep the old one there, in ruins, to remind me of where ive been and how that part of me is now gone and i have a new inner world now. I also have the mind palace (inspired by bbc sherlock) which is on the edge of my "brain" and "inside brain" where i store all important things such as memories and facts in filing cabinet rooms, and there i can project the memories onto the "inside brain" to watch them the same way i watch the characters in the inside brain!!!! Its great fun honestly and has pretty much saved my life as it gives me a safe space no matter where i am. All i have to do is dissociate and go in there and im safe from harm :3 it also helps with academics because the mind palace has a black board room and a few visualizing rooms that i can do math on and picture any words ive read in respectively.

Its very hard to explain how i interact with this "inner world" because i am a singlet and its just me (and my characters who are like dolls, i control everything they do and say and how they look and act etc etc) in there. Its not like a hallucination, its entirely in my head and i watch from different angles like from the perspective of a movie camera. And i can still see the world around me when im in there. Id describe it like dreaming while awake but i am in full control, so its a daydream really, but in the same space every time and its a very detailed world.

My inner conscious is also in there. His name is Harri. His appearance and personality is who i want to be and how i want to look and his voice is how i want to sound, but he does have a different life to me such as he is Australian American and is adopted, and he has hEDS, which I do not have (but many of my family members do). Idk if its weird that he has a disability i dont have but he just does, thats not something i chose, he just started appearing with braces and a crutch and i was like oop- okay then 🤣 yeah anyway Harri is a cool dude idk, hes 38 and hes like my best friend. He replaced the guy from my old inner world who was called Bill (he was technically just Bill Weasley but i changed him so much he was really an OC) but then things got bad with Bill and i had to start a nuclear war in that headspace to get rid of everything a start a new world.....my brain is weird.

Anyway I love my brain, I have to be careful to make sure I dont have a repeat of the Bill situation, but I avoid it by using only OCs and changing the story often so i dont get too sucked in to anything specific and start becoming delusional and dysphoric about not being a 50 something year old ginger wizard from Ireland- yeah.....that happened. I also started having memories of things that happened to him (which was not good because he had a very violent life) and becoming triggered when watching HP movies because I would remember being abused by certain characters 😬

Nowadays i know how to control my mind better so it stays safe most of the time! But yes that is my brain and my innerworld lmao, feel free to share your own experiences (both singlets and systems!!)!

Also bonus fact: my innerworld was actually my special interest for about 3 years? It was hard to explain so i said my spin was harry potter but it was actually my inner world that was based off of harry potter lol