#look. i know. im a queer woman who likes some of the classics. i know im supposed to like little women!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/16/2024

how your backyard hurricane go, the houston area? pretty good it doesn't seem

to be clear other than losing everything in my fridge and developing some mold around the windowframes IM personally fine and so are the girls and so is the lair. we lost power sunday afternoon and got it back friday morning (upside down smiley emoji x16)

listening

THREE CANONICALLY BISEXUAL CLUB BANGERS!!! also, trying out a new thing with spotify and youtube videos for songs bc my readership is about 70/30 and i want to streamline the process of actually listening to new music for ppl. it must be really annoying this week but that's bc there's three songs. sorry. it will rarely be this long

anyway.

ANXIETY by Lilyisthatyou is new to me, off the spotify autogenerated dance playlist. a chiller groove in the spelling-things-out genre of dance music. VERY flashy-lights music vid fyi

Why do I feel so alone? Does it show That I'm dancing to fill the void with pretty girls and pretty boys?

i know about kesha's joyride bc i happen to be an alive queer woman. im SO happy kesha is also alive and making music more regularly. this one is canonically bisexual bc kesha is bisexual. also a really flashy-lights lyric video. the most classically recession-pop/early KESHA sound of all three tuesdaysongs this week. im always fascinated when an accordion shows up.

Rev my engine ’til you make it purr Keep it kinky, but I come first Beep-beep, bitch, I'm outside Get in, loser, for the joyride

thank u new releases spotify playlist. also canonically bisexual bc the singer is, also an early KESHA feel but she is a metal artist first and foremost. very fun to headbang to at a stop light. i don't totally Love how it's an emasculating song but given how dudes in the metal scene generally are? i think she should make it more emasculating actually

Take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg) If you're a macho man then beg (And beg and beg and beg) Bend you over the bed (The bed the bed the bed) It's time to take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg)

-

reading

fun fact i still haven't seen this movie. i got this from the library the day before the hurricane proper and it gave me a really lovely two hours of not thinking about the active hurricane the day after. enormous format photographs! full-length shots of every look! ithe little personal notes from each designer were so fun to read, and i think this genuinely healed my heart a little. everyone was so excited to go into detail about what choices they made and what inspired them, and even though i would have loved more specific construction details, specific fiber types, and full-length shots of the Back of every look, i recognize i am a freak.

-

watching

watched a truly bonkers assortment of films at my bestie's house this week. her husband is big into godzilla and i sat down not really paying attention or planning to pay attention to Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024, dir. Wingard) but found myself actually paying attention. i unfortunately was a character i hate, Person Who Stops The Movie Halfway Through To Demand A Recap. loved these guys, whatever the fuck they were

the most fun thing about this movie is that it is not a silent film but it acts like one. there are long, long stretches of movie without dialogue bc all the political action is happening between a bunch of giant monkeys. this is going to sound like im damning it with faint praise but they really thought carefully about directorial and artistic choices here! there was a vision and they executed it! it's fun to look at and not just because there's a big monkey in most of the shots!

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playing

got a look at characters for the new fire-themed land coming up this fall. ppl are understandably big mad that the land is based on Ring of Fire cultures and everyone is paper-white. i think it is correct to be mad and ask them to do better, and they have tweaked designs before release before, however, i don't think this will bring about a sea change in gacha games.

i am rolling along clearing out map markers and achievement hunting and my GOD are there a lot of time-gated achievements in inazuma (electricity-themed legally-not-japan). so so so many of them i originally got halfway through or did 1/5 and then wandered off bc i didn't realize there was a quest or achievement locked behind doing something for three or five days in a row. i now have a post-it on the corner of my monitor with nine different things i have to keep checking in on this week. please someone give me a REAL JOB!!!!!!

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making

cross stitch progress. this was the only thing i did last week aside from shake like a chihuahua and sleep. very slow going! may have to ship the package off to my brother with an IOU bc it is already stressfully late.

made the bean influencer soup (creamy miso coconut butter beans). i made a batch before the hurricane last week so most of my notes are from then. the grocery did not have canned butter beans so i made the same thing (big lima beans) from dry. i have not made beans from dry since i was very small. these beans were so large, so pale, so aggressive.

changes: i was able to find a little carton of straight coconut cream at the grocery but they were out of miso paste. i did have miso soup mix and plopped that in. i also used frozen spinch bc it’s cheaper and i felt better about it than the somewhat questionable fresh spinch on offer. also used two onions instead of one and a hearty dollop of minced jarred garlic bc who do u think i even fucking am. i would have loved to use fresh dill, bc i did plant some and it was growing very well, but the caterpillars were very intense and ate almost everything on my balcony.

going in the rotation! im making it AGAIN as im typing up this post! pretty cheap, very tasty, i don't regularly keep butter beans or coconut cream in my pantry but that can change!

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen!! i wanted to let you know how much your advice means to me as a young butch as well as ask you for some advice.

i live in a tight-knit community and go to a small school. because my school is so small, we are allowed to attend prom all four years of high school. i didn't go my freshman and sophomore year despite my friends encouragement. last year i got asked by a girl as well and i turned her down. im in my junior year now and i still don't want to go. the thing is that there's this girl (who i like) who wants me to go. i feel like she likes me too and i don't want to disappoint her.

my avoidance to prom has to do with the whole dressing up fancy deal. ive avoided the first two years because i am uncomfortable wearing dresses and am worried about what people would think of me if i wore not-a-dress. the area where i live isn't super homophobic, but i know plenty of people that are. some people i know and care about are a little bit homophobic too. im worried about what people would think of me if i dressed unconventionally like that. people talk, as im sure you know. im worried about being discredited or belittled for my sexuality. i know some other queer teens, but it feels like such a jump to show up to prom in a suit. especially since im not explicitly out to many people yet and am generally cautious/apprehensive.

im considering wearing a dress to prom so i can show up with this girl, even though i know ill be uncomfortable. shes a nice girl and would probably encourage me to wear what i want if she knew how i felt, same with my friends.

i don't know if it's worth it though. i am scared of what people will think about me. im a year and a half away from college and living my best, queerest life. i could just wait. but i also don't want to regret not going and missing out on those classic teen experiences.

my heads swimming and id love your input!! i really admire you and want to be like you someday. thanks <3

I remember high school. I too went to a small rural school back in the 1980's. IT is not as easy as some people say. Those of us older often forget that high school is bascially a "closed" society that we are stuck in for all for years so every decision seems to hold weight. Doing something out of step with the "status quo" can have consequences we have to deal with for whatever is left of our 4 years.

SO older lesbians telling youngers to "do what you want" or "just be yourself" or "you have it so much easier than I (we) did" is not only unhelpful it can be detrimental at best and dangerous at worst. Some of my generation look back to high school through the lens of time and experience that think we "would have been more brave" and that NOW young lesbians have the freedom to do as they please because public sentiment and laws have turned in our favor. High school is just not that different now and laws and adult reactions do not apply.

SO here is my advice. Go with your crush. But ask her to go with you to pick an outfit. You do not have to wear a dress. It is wholly acceptable for women to wear suits. You don't have to wear a generic man's tux or suit, they are often ill fitting and boxy anyway, especially on women. GO to a tux or suit shop that sells women's styles and fit. You don't have to do the man's style with the tie and suit coat. A pair of black slacks, a white button down, can be pleated (woman's style) or not and a nice black vest without a tie is perfectly nice formal wear for a high school prom. To dress it up you can wear a colored vest either solid or with a pattern.

Any decent place that sells or rents formal wear will have women cut suits. Rental is not cheap but it is worth spending your hard earn bucks to look fabulous and feel confident. Check in your local suit shops, even department stores like JC Penneys or similar. Many offer women's suits and even have a list of local tailors that can do a fitting.

You might have to compromise a bit on what you would really like to wear but I think giving a little on the outfit and still having a style you feel okay in will be a small price to pay to spend a wonderful night out with her.

[0w0tsuki]

My only criticism of TME/TMA is that the use of the word "affected" is the primary source of semantics based arguments against the terminology. It allows people to frame TMA as "somebody who has had transmisogyny happen to them once" instead of "someone who is at constant risk interacting with transmisoginistic society and has to consider this in every social interaction"

You know? The classic "bigots don't care about your pronouns" argument. The idea that if someone is transmisogynisticly harassing you they are likely to be every other type of bigot under the sun (which isn't true. Just look at the transmisogyny in the queer community) so they won't care that you aren't trans and beat you up anyway (which makes me disbelieve that they are even speaking from personal experience because from someone who faces that harassment daily, the goal often not to engage you with violence but to intimidate you into feeling like going outside is unsafe).

Like even taking them at their word that they HAVE had an experience with transmisoginistic harassment, they are still speaking from an individual experience and do not have to consider wider societal transmisogyny outside of the lens of potential being mistargeted by it. They are using the grammatical definition of affected to go "I was individually affected by this mistargeted transmisogyny so therefore I'm transmisogyny affected " which is why I'm calling it semantics.

The types of people who make these arguments are the cheekiest motherfuckers and are often treating it as a "gatcha" argument. They aren't arguing in good faith. Which is why I doubt that they are even speaking from personal experience and not just using "maga Mikey from some southern state that I definitely don't have classist views about" as the reason transmisogyny affects everyone equally.

It also allows for the pickme argument that is often just the acception that proves the rule. I'm talking about the "Well IM a trans woman and IVE never been affected by transmisogyny so really it's a useless term because it doesn't describe all trans women". This argument is using the fact that this individual trans woman has YET to experience a personal Hot Allistic Load treatment that she has not been affected by transmisogyny. This ignores how much she has had to curate herself and make herself as presentable as possible to transmisoginistic society to avoid this treatment. They do not live in magical fairy Christmas land where transmisogyny simply doesn't exist and isn't something they have to worry about.

In short I think the specific definition of the word "affected" allows those approaching in bad faith to conflate a lived reality to an individual experience.

[fashion-foxy]

Heyyyyy so you know how in modern Disney channel movies (Im specifically talking about the Zombies and Descendants franchises as those are movies ive seen but I do think some of these traits are in other disney channel movies like Highschool Musical) the bad guys are always loud flamboyant theater kids? And how the good guys are always good morally upstanding people who have either were raised in the American Dream(tm) (nuclear family, upper middle class, perfect grades everything's going great) or live in a poorer situation but are still good people who will eventually get the picture perfect American Dream(tm)?

Yeahhh I hate to say it but that's kinda based off the formula of classic (when i say classic i mean Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. Not Renaissance era) Disney Princess movies where you have the same villain and hero formula.

Now, why am I treating any of this as a bad thing? Well, that was probably based on how villains were deliberately given queer traits to seem more villainous. You see, back in when Snow White and other classics were being worked on there were codes in place to ban queerness from being shown on film because queer people are the devil and they're gonna corrupt you and your kids if you don't watch out! Or some other stupid homophobic shit like that. So, it being the 30s, naturally, people aren't too keen on the concept of gay people. So, what's an easy way to get people to immediately let your audience know just from looking at them that your villains are evil? Give them stereotypical queer traits, of course!

And it's the exact opposite with Disney heroes! Have princesses be traditionally feminine whatever that time periods version of being a 'good woman' is. Could range from being good at cleaning and never going against authority, and even if she eventually does, make it be in the nicest way possible. Or, have her be a strong and independent woman who doesn't need a man. But, you usually focus on the woman because she's the driving force who goes through all the terrible things, and the men shouldn't be all too present because she either doesn't need a knight in shining armour or he's only there to provide the American Dream Happily Ever After.

Another thing we see in classic is the movie must always return the status quo. We can change some things about the poor area but not change it too much. I.e. we can get rid of the border but not actually do anything to combat classism or help the poor people not be poor. If the our main character is rich they stay in on their side of the border in their rich area. If the main character is poor they get to be honorary rich person but they'll have a plot line where they're not like the other girls and are having a really hard time being rich. This will conclude with them saying something about how, "They're not rich they'll poor at heart!" Which means they'll gonna be rich and wear black and be a bit quirky.

So, in classic movies the heros have a very conservative/heteronormative view of the world and way of life. While the villians possess queer traits and our the ones trying to make any changes to the system. But the thing is, NOTHING has actually changed in these modern Disney channel movies! They still use the same formula! The only difference now is that they get to queer bait audiences now!

Here are some great videos about how the formula of Disney characters has changed over the years. If you want to hear more on this subject:

https://youtu.be/OkadXlv_eA0?si=Z_avjkQKIpxGRyvf

https://youtu.be/HYh4e9u5HuE?si=4eFwcBd-iI-PTq03

Sidenote:

This is also why I love eah so much. Literally subverts the very idea of Disney style fairytales in a brilliant way. I'll never get over the fact that it lost to descendants.

[variousqueerthings]

also did in fact get to watch the west end cabaret, and i did enjoy it (i live in a world where my mum occasionally visits and takes pity on a poor soul and so we go watch a musical) but i think all of what i was concerned about with it was correct. so pros and cons. or cons and pros, hm... pros and cons...

pros:

sally bowles was spot on -- cara delevigne is currently playing her, but not when i was watching, which im kind of relieved about. im sure she does a good job, but a-list hollywood star and model cara delevigne is going to have to work double-time to convince me she's a struggling overwrought undertalented average british woman (while still belting out those higher notes and being the most captivating character on the stage). i liked the actress who played her A Lot, she tapped into all of that perfectly, and i liked that she took the seemingly impossible middle-ground between a liza minelli and a jane horrocks and was both punky and able to convince me that she wasn't that good at performing in the story, while still giving an actually amazing set of performances

the whole kit kat bar Gang so to speak was amazing, i enjoyed every one of them. they were all fantastic and vibrant, while giving a modern-married-with-classic queer feel in their outfits and introductions that updated the visuals in the opening number to a more overt genderfluidity than ive seen before

the pre-show + interval immersive experience was probably my favourite part of the whole thing. entering down a side entrance into a cellar and seeing performers as you wander through various sections, and then during the latter part of the interval the performers bringing some of the more daring audience members onstage and interacting with the various rows. made it feel like not just a musical, but an actual club

frau schneider and herr schultz were great throughout, my other favourite performances of the show. the place where it found its realism most effectively and of course where the politics is most at the forefront, wonderfully depicted by the two actors

cliff bradshaw is the most thankless role in any iteration, so shoutout to making him pretty likeable -- my guy will never be memorable, but that of course is not the point. he's the camera

cons:

the marketing of being "the most exclusive club in town" was giving a whole vibe of elite, difficult-to-gain-access-to, rich, that just... isn't correct. and i mean, the tickets are fuckn expensive so, it really is all of those things, which was my immediate kneejerk reaction to the show long before i ever watched it: is this show for a queer audience, or is it for people to gawk at queers? (but make it musical theatre and polished, no messy realistic queerness). and you can never know if an audience is majority queer or not, but i will hazard a strong... not. and also a strong "very few people under the age of 35 who would have to really save up to watch this show" as well

to add to this point -- i was watching with my mum, her boyfriend, and my godfather (all middle-class and middle-aged straight people in their own right, but youknow. i suggested the show), and during the interval i asked them about how they felt about the tone so far, mentioning that i found it interesting in contrast to the 1993 version, which was quite grimy-looking, and my godfather said that yeah, it was sultry, but it wasn't cabaret clublike -- and i just. if he noticed that. everything was a bit too polished, and too pretty (with, in my opinion, the exception of the portrayal of sally). i just think it's a fundamental misjudgement of who cabaret is about (club performers and sex workers with no money) and also, in my opinion, who it ought to be for

the emcee... ohhhh the emcee. i mean, okay. i took an instant dislike back when it was edd*e r*dmayne, everyone who knows me knows i think that guy has the charisma of a wet sponge and needs to stop poking his fingers in seminal queer narratives, but the fucking... party hat. this show definitely made it clear that it's not just the actor, it's the way it's put together. funny thing was, one of the ensemble performers (played bobby) took charge during the interval (when the actual emcee is presumably off having a big costume change), and i thought, "now that's the emcee," and it wasn't actually any of the performers' fault. i dont think the emcee actor had the look, but that aside, this show had no idea what to do with the character, it's like they didn't give him any kind of grounding at all. a series of nonsensical costume-changes, popping up haphazardly outside the cabaret (but not with any kind of consistency) a sort of... wheedling, un-directedness to the whole thing. he was disconnected from any kind of time (20th century or today), any kind of place (club, stage, in or out of the cabaret), any kind of anything, and it was the costuming, the way he'd been directed, and the lack of consistency for when he appeared. he was almost meaningless to the story

the politics -- speaking of the emcee -- were really weirdly stripped. the big points are there, it's berlin, people want to party and ignore the nazis, and then two big Moments happen (the engagement party, the rock through the window) that indelibly remind people that antisemitism cannot be ignored, and that this is coming, whether you want it to or not (and eventually it's coming for the denizens of the kit kat club too). but other than that, nothing in the way this was put together felt very cognisant of wanting to either get into the idea of nazism of the 1930s or fascism today. there was a kind of vague effigy performance of "tomorrow belongs to me" with figures that looked like they were saying something about conformity, and at the end of the play everyone is dressed in the same, somewhat bland suit, so the message is... idk. conformity makes the world worse, i guess. beyond that single scene with the swastika revealed at the engagement party, we never see one again, which may have been an attempt to point out how people hide behind the idea of "just politics," but with the way the whole thing was staged (this rich, luxurious location) came off to me like it was letting the audience off the hook -- it's still a story, we're telling it to you as gently as possible. it just felt so timid! all the imagery -- like the emcee himself -- is beautiful and un-grounded, only just enough about something to tell the story without being too disquieting

good example is the money makes the world go around song. the emcee comes up in a goth "harem-like" outfit, with a sort of shiny, rib-cage looking harness, clown make-up, black stormtrooper-esque helmet, loooong shining nails -- there's 5 different things going on here, none of which are grounded, they're just... pretty. give a nod to ideas about wealth, and starvation, and nazis, and (hopefully intentionally) appropriation/exotification, and something queer-esque. look, a man with bedazzled nails singing about how money makes the world go around, at a show where the tickets are fuckn expensive, but he's not singing about that, he's not singing about today, or the past, and in fact the number is so overproduced (all the other performers have taken off their homage-costumes to the 1920s/30s and are now in a generic wavy dress outfit, and they're all over the stage, doing the most, distracting from the words) that you can't take in of the words with what's happening onstage

i hated hated hated those conformist suits at the end. what were they on about???? conformity takes the glitter out of things idk?? fascism. talk about modern day fascism. or hell, lean hard into a story about 1930s fascism if you're not comfortable confronting this audience properly, but just... don't be generic

which also, minor gripe time now, but there's this whole plotline in the musical that's deliberately set up at the beginning -- sally has a beautiful coat. the metaphor of trying to polish up her life on the outside, of refusing to acknowledge the deeper issues, not just with the world, but with herself, that she's poor, she's not entirely sure how long she'll last for or what's coming next, so hey, make it a party and look beautiful... that whole setup is important for when she sells the coat to get an abortion! and they have the setup in this version, but then seemingly forget all about it at the end? the coat they reference isn't the beautiful, expensive fur coat she walks in with in the first act, it's this random suit-coat she's been dressed up in for the finale, it misses the whole point. i say minor gripe, but it does feel like a microcosm of so much of this show. it refuses, ironically, to go any deeper. it still fundamentally wants to make sure the audience is comfortable by defanging as much as possible all the little things that add up to one great big picture

gosh it was long. it was -- with interval -- two hours, forty-five minutes. maybe that's why it felt like it lacked purpose, it seemed like it wanted to pack in every version of the story into one, and again, sally at the centre really makes this obvious, because as much as i think the actress was pitch perfect, i definitely saw the ways this particular version repeated sentiments about her over and over so that she became softer, sweeter, like the rest of it palatable. the most uncomfortable she makes you is during her first performance and everything beyond that is just showing how sympathetic she fundamentally is, how hard done by, feel sad for her. like a victorian morality tale, rather than a 20s portrait of complex, flawed people, and it goes on and on and on with that same tangent

think it was a mistake to fire her at the beginning and thereby take her out of the kit kat club -- disconnects the club from the story, so we're just randomly going there sometimes for a song, and then back to the more grounded narrative, then back for another song that loosely comments on the scene we just watched. again, this goes back to the emcee being kind of nothing and sally being taken out of the club, so that there's barely any blend between the plot and the cabaret setting, either through interference of a godlike emcee, or by sally just going to work

this a bit vague, and not quite sure if i mind or not, but cliff was played by a black actor, and the thing is of course that in the story cliff is targeted by a nazi as a guy he can trick into smuggling illegal materials for the nazi party from paris into berlin (until cliff catches wise and tells him to go to hell). and i felt like there's an added ickiness to all of that if cliff is black, that is never really explored in this iteration (nor the fact that he's being hit on by a slew of white men and women). obviously this isn't the original text, so whether or not to bring that forward in this version, to comment (subtly or not) on racial attitudes of the 20s/30s as another form of mirror to today, is very much up to the show. then again, maybe this time isn't original to the text either and they included that as well, so could have been an opportunity if they really wanted to change something up for this specific iteration

In conclusion: really, very beautiful show, with great performers, that ultimately rang pretty hollow and didn't attempt to interact with the material from a modern lens beyond the trappings. save me from generic upscale "queer" imagery made palatable for non-queer audiences. clown emcee can't hurt me, he isn't real

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

so we all know how i hate myself (im cool, im trying my best, i just have shit mental health) and like theres that one person who asked what my deadname is almost 2 months ago now right. so he was one of the four people ever i shared my tumblr with. (functionally no one now) uh so i decided to go thru *every single post* he *ever* posted and i realise how fucking uncomfortable i was with what he said. even then. adn i never said anything abt it. ok so lets go thru some of the stuff hes posted abt me bc i think its worth while.

(random post, not even related to how people look) he reblogged "your so beautiful <3" SIR YOU DON'T JUST DO THAT or at least to me

(post appreciating WOMEN i rebloged) he rb saying "i love my man <3" which one im not a woman why would u say that there? also two thats weird??? huh???? pretty sure i wasnt even feeling like a dude when he posted that lmao

classic: him saying hes my future. LMAO NO BBG YOU SAID THAT EXACTLY A MONTH BEFORE SHOWING HOW BIGGOTED YOU ARE

all the posts very clearly crushing over me. like. it was so obvious.

HIS LAST POST IS TAGGED YANDRE. THATS NOT OK. at least to me. thats really fucked up.

OMG THE HOODIE POST. ok so he posted saying (this is copy and pasted): "Me and him aren't dating but I want him to keep my hoodie in case it's cold or I js want him to wear it to match with his cute Lil face ❤️♥️" *insert my horrified face with my hand over my mouth* no. sir. no.

ok not a post but the fact within 3 weeks he had: gotten over a whole crush, gotten another crush, and got a whole gf???? idk maybe im violently arospec but thats weird as shit. can i have some alloromantics tell me its weird.

again not a post but my friends now ex asked him his opinion on gay people (i was violently queer around him) and he legit said "i only have a problem with *some* gay people" SIR. THE ALLYSHIP LEFT AS SOON AS YOU HAD FALLING OUT WITH A QUEER PERSON

moral of the story: he was always fucked up and i should have listened to myself and my friends.

so. would it be funny to tag him in this/comment on his shit with my reactions. someone talk me out of this. it would be funny right. right. right. like come on. hes not gonna talk to me irl. hes scared of me. ill death stare at him if he comes close to me. come on. id never be alone near him. it would be funny right. right. come on. guys.

[pietadean]

i've been on a rewatch kick lately so i decided to put on s7 ep7 "the mentalists" as background noise while i was trying the latest tiktok coffee trend. which uses a LOT of sugar. so here's my new take on the ep now that i'm out & proud as well as hopped up on coffee and sugar :

the star victim of the ep, not-psychic melanie, is in love with her "friend" camille who dean & sam don't manage to save. the body language. also she calls her "hon". i meAN

2. the ep is filled with dean mirrors : the guy in the museum stresses how gay some dead psychics were

.... and three seconds later speaks about an over-protective sibling...

...before relaying a message from ellen's spirit urging dean to talk to sam about his grief (it's been a couple of weeks at best since cas's death/betrayal)

3. dean is being extra-empathetic about melanie's loss and you can really see he cares about that particular case. and i guess they filmed it trying to show that dean's interested in her or something equally ew, but he doesn't act like womanizer s1 dean at all, he's more friendly/protective --- except that dean doesn't usually let himself connect with victims. you know what kind of ppl connect instantly even when there's no romantic/sexual agenda???? queer ppl.

^^^^^^that's not a charmer/"dw baby im gonna make it all better" smile. it's a "im so sorry for your loss, i wish i could make it better but i cant and i know what you're going through" smol awkward babygay smile

4. the ep closes with dean having his sam-orchestrated one-on-one with melanie, but it's nothing creepy or sexual. it really reads as two grieving queer ppl trying to support each other

^^^^ look at this awkward chuckle. he knows he's safe here so he's out of his depth. classic dean-being-weird-with-the-gays scene.

and then melanie reads his palm and. he does not react smooth and hot lady's reading my palm at all. he reacts like THIS

hello touch-starved vulnerable babygirl. nice to see ya again pal.

5. the last scene is dean & sam talking about dean's grief and trust issues about cas for the first time since cas's death

^^^^^^um ok i wonder why

HELLO????

anyway that is all. i got down from my coffee-flavored sugar high so im realizing this is a bit much but idgaf. 7x07 is entering my widower dean/destiel hall of fame.

BONUS : i guess at this point when they aired the ratings were starting to get really low, and that must be when sera & co started planning to get cas back on the show, so this feels very much like unintentional foreshadowing :

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the LEAST votes will be eliminated. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):

akko kagari and andrew hanbridge:

Very typical hetero-love-interest introduction, rival vibes, aloof rich boy & headstrong "commoner" girl, learning to see each other's point of view, she dresses up for the first time in the series to sneak into his party to try to talk to him. Just classic 'ugh they're clearly gonna get together' but... they don't. Nothing romantic is ever explicit, and by s2 they're friends and that's it. there's no discussion or drama. they're good friends. literally shocked me. apparently a guy and girl who fit a bunch of romantic tropes... can just be friends

sam winchester and eileen leahy:

The last season set them up to be together, and then in Sam’s finale flash-forward, they replaced her with “blurry wife” literally a random blurred out woman rather than having him end up with Eileen Eileen is the coolest Supernatural character: she's deaf and also formerly dead (like Sam)

asuka tenjoin and yuki judai:

The ship name (fianceshipping) comes from the episode where Judai *accidentally* duels some guy to become Asuka's fiance (said guy never asks Asuka how she feels about this, ugghhh greater Duel Academia student body be normal about ladies challenge). Turns out that he *didn't know what a fiance was* and just wanted to have a good ol' time cardgaming. I think that this says more about this ship than anything else I could tell you. During the final season, Asuka almost confesses to him but cuts herself off & they then thank each other for giving each other some clarity of mind because they're both going through pretty rough times at that point in the plot. Looks concerningly like they're about to do a whole "ohh we need to make the main girl and boy romance out of obligation" bit and then they just don't do it. It's great. judai is the gayest guy of all time (subtext) and im like 80% sure asuka was experiencing comphet bc he's the only guy in their grade that treats her like a person. besties 4ever!!!!!!!! [straightmod has been informed that judai is also textually queer because he is canonically attracted to a non-binary character.]

kurosaki ichigo and kuchiki rukia:

Oh man, where do I even begin? So, for some context, Bleach starts when Rukia (a shinigami) gets critically injured saving Ichigo from a monster, and she transfers her powers to him so he can finish it off. Instead of transferring half her powers as planned, however, she transfers all of them, which forces Ichigo to take over her job as a shinigami. During this time period, Rukia... lives in his closet. Yeah. The entire first arc of the manga is dedicated to their relationship, and while a lot of it is playful banter, Rukia's presence in Ichigo's life fundamentally changes it for the better. Rukia then gets kidnapped by the rest of the shinigami who aren't at all happy she gave her powers to a human, and the main plot ensues from there. Throughout the story, Rukia and Ichigo constantly save each other when they're at their worst. When Rukia thinks she deserves to die, Ichigo is there to tell her she deserves to live. When Ichigo is in a funk about his superpowered evil side, Rukia is there to snap him out of it (something his canon love interest explicitly realises she was unable to do). They share a sun/moon motif for crying out loud, and yet like that last sentence said... they don't end up together, but with other people instead. Yeah. No shade to the canon ships, but Ichiruki is peak straightbaiting, honestly. They have a lot of banter/chemistry, fundamentally change eachother's lives for the better, save each other when they're at their lowest, and have a very deliberate sun/moon dichotomy... but they both end up paired off with different characters instead asdfghkl

izuku midoriya and ochako uraraka:

It’s the classic main character x friend who is a girl ship. They have no actual romantic interactions outside of their friendship. Ochako has “feelings” for Izuku, but they are clearly feelings of friendship until one of her friends insists that she must have a crush on Izuku, making her feel confused and embarrassed. Izuku clearly sees Ochako as a good friend, but when they first meet, he blushes and thinks “I can’t believe I just talked to a girl.” On the same day, he also blushes when he sees that a famous male hero is proctoring their exams. It’s literally so boring as a romantic ship. They have no chemistry as a couple.

edward elric and winry rockbell but SPECIFICALLY in the 2003 anime:

literally in different dimensions by the end! they still have a lot of the hallmarks of "ohh endgame childhood best friends" or whatever but fma 2003 just said. naah. winry got the shortest end of the stick and i feel so bad for her!!! continuity specific straightbait. in every other universe they get married and have kids but screw you two specifically 🙏

mako, korra, and asami:

it's that one meme where the guy ignores his girlfriend to check out another girl, only the two girls get to know each other and get together. S1/2 has love triangle drama between who Mako will be with (Korra or Asami). S3 no one is together but Korra and Asami become really close friends. S4 Korra and Asami are together. Mako is single. Like the only example of exes being good friends and Not getting back together, as well as giving the middle finger to heteronormative assumptions when after the love triangle is over, the two girls get together Shipping the two girls in a love triangle together but it actually happens

pat and ink:

Pat has a crush on Ink early on, and it seems possible at first that she may feel the same way. However, it is later revealed that she actually has a crush on his sister and is a lesbian. It's okay though because then Pat realizes he's in love with his childhood rival and they become wlw mlm solidarity! Everyone wins!

maka albarn and soul evans:

Throughout the series, they have a deep friendship with each other which is consistently extremely important to the story's narrative. In order for them to be able to fight, they must get along and resonate with each other, and due to the mechanics of their world, fighting independently of each other is extremely difficult. In multiple instances, they are shown to be willing to put themselves in harm's way to extreme degrees to keep each other safe. They are even shown to live together. They are The Singular Straight Ship I have ever shipped and I love them. Also they are really cool and Soul can turn into an awesome scythe weapon that like only Maka can wield. And they fight really awesomely together.

luke skywalker and leia organa:

The idea of Luke and Leia was used in advertisements but they obviously decided not to do that. IT’S SO FUNNY. Like, I think this is the closest white straight people will ever get to ‘they were cousins’ing a couple. I looked up advertising to see if it was just in the movie proper or it WAS used to sell it and https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5z1SziDPKQw&t=118s&pp=2AF2kAIB ‘Luke and Leia: in danger, in love, in Star Wars’ is going to be one of the things that rolls around in my head for ages. It’s not just the whole ‘het love triangle advertises 2nd pairing that everyone knows won’t happen’ like Twilight, it’s the backpeddaling ‘no no it can’t happen, they’re actually siblings! It’d be weird! Ignore the ‘good luck��� kiss and the ‘I’ll be back’ kiss in the medbay and of course the full on make out session scene that happened! And even our own advertising’ Of it all.

good luck everybody! now go vote!

[fag-on-goth-action]

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

for all your OCs <3

🔪

ok so all of them but wes has dealt with that. so this is easy

Lilith- denies it happens doesn't put herself at blame and acts like nothing changed

Marr- shuts down and does a lot of stupid things to fix it but makes things worse

Am- takes all the blame feels guilty and then inflicts the same pain or what she thinks is equivalent pain upon her self

Wes- drinks. a lot.

🙈

oh this is easy they r all hiding sooo much

Lilith- the fact that she's a trans woman obvi but she is trans and queer and all that shit as Lea so that's a cop out. Hers is how she has never truly processed things. ever since she got bit the years have blurred and she doesn't know 78 from 09 well because Am had the same haircut or whatever and she thinks she's been going crazy for so long she's horrified about how bad it is

Marr - Ever since she got cursed to be unable to do the things she loves ( makeup, hair, acting, singing ) she has acted really chill about it and she knows that she hasn't done them in so long so she's fallen out of love but god when things get bad she will cry for hours after trying to sing a song. it devastates her even if parts of that curse have become regular parts of her life, like her makeup being messed up is part of her brand, some days she wants to just look classically pretty and she wants to feel like the woman she used to be and it breaks her.

Am- Context is in my world vampires acquire parts of their greatest fear and desire. for this you gotta know Am's biggest fear is dying alone and without true love. she has taken refuge in platonic bonds but oh my god the day she found out Wes was her soulmate she broke down. She was incapable of having the love of her life ever. she said she would never meet her soulmate and if she did she would kill them, but you can't kill another vampire as a vampire. it's an act only witches or humans can do. And then shit, they are best fucking friends. the worst part is Wes is bound to her until the world ends. he will never experience love that is true, and because Am is always around he's constantly subconsciously comparing his romance to how he feels for her, which is impossible to beat. she can't tell him.

Wes- he's my least fledged out little guy but oh my god he is so incapable of anything past first base and like that wasn't a part of his curse! he doesn't know what's up he just can't feel a lot of things for people man. only time he remembers being good at sex was with Am but she's probably a sex god or something. he can't figure out love and it's pissinf him off

🙊

Lilith- she seriously needs to stop talking about how she helped with jfk in bars she's gonna get arrested soon

Marr - one of these days she'll finally get someone to believe her and be sober enough to see her magic in clubs shes sooo bad at hiding being a witch

Am- WE.DONT.CARE.YOU.WERE.AT.9/11.SO WAS EVERYONE ELSE IN THSI HOUSE AM AND YOU RAN LIKE A PUSSY WHILE WE WATCHED

wes- im so sorry shut up about yr highschool band it was soooo bad u did violin covers of beetles songs

🙉

Lilith- the details of what happened to marr when she was deported and had to live in russia from 57-73. that would break her so hard.

Marr- What happened to the kids who cursed her

Am- Where her brother is ( she thinks he's dead )

Wes- that his fuckinf band sucks shit

okaaayy that was so long sorry but i'm on mobile i cant do cut :(

[the-acid-pear]

Actually i cannot shut the fuck up so Y'all are gonna have to see my currently downloaded watch - list! ^_^ and also WHY i care < 3

In the order they're in my folder (not downloaded order):

Barbarian - I heard amaizing things about it and i still have very few spoilers on it guaranteeing a perfect movie watching experience, i suppose. So i've heard at least.

Bodies Bodies Bodies - No fucking clue m8 i just have had it on my radar for a hot minute now. Is it not the queer one? I think it's horror. Y'all know i love not knowing information Lmao

Bullet Train - Because Bad Bunny is there obviously /j but really because it looks fucking cool also isnt Sanada there? I love Sanada.

Calvarie - I have no idea I don't know which movie this is hello? Wait i think it's some european film i was like Ah Sure Let's Watch It. Brother you KNOW its gonna be grey and slow and blue and gloomy europeans love that.

Crash - I saw a meme recently and its a classic so. They have sex in cars.

Cruising - The cunt that man is serving requires my full attention.

Dead For A Dollar - I'M A FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Delgo - I need to watch it for myself see how bad it truly is. Can't wait to LOVE it or something. That'd be so funny imo.

From Beyond - Right, another one where there's a ton of cunt being served.

Funny Games - It's a classic I HAVE to check it out. It's the original btw not the american one. I hope. I dont think im that stupid.

Incident In a Ghostland - Alright I cheated I looked this one up BUT, i heard it's great and underrated also did y'all see how the girl's face was left? the actress. Truly gruesome shit. Movie better slay i guess.

MEN - I got a video of it recommended with a man who looks very small very pregnant and well. I love shit like that. I'm a Skins fan. I trust this one to be fun for me.

Nope - I'm so late to the party brother I have to watch it. Also mutual Oliver really liked this one I know he's moved on because its been like... Oh it was 2022 just two years but still a while. Anyway yeah Everyone loved it I gotta see it.

Oculus - Ryan Hollinger loved it and i got reminded of its existence not long ago so fuck it. Might as well. I do love me a sibling story so.

Pearl - I had no fucking idea this one was an horror movie but the fact that it is interested me greatly. The lead is also so weird looking i love that in a woman

Pensive - Wait no this was the european movie. What's Calvarie? I googled it. I don't know.

Reinfeld - Mutual Andy said it was good and it did fucking Slay on the trailer so i gotta. I love Nick.

Repo! The Genetic Opera - I hope this makes at least one person reading this list happy, if anyone even reads it. It's pretty big online i mean I gotta check it out. For the green vial and shite.

What Josiah Saw - I'm really into Southern Goth as y'all could imagine by my music taste and this looks sooo fucked up has me rubbing my hands together evily

X - I, heard good things I guess. I don't remember. But it was along w MEN and Bodies x3 those big of the year i guess.

And that concludes the list! A nice 20 to wrap it aint that satisfying? Reminder You can recommend me movies at any time I'm a Movie Head i'll watch anything idgaf. I'll kill you if you recommend me a bad movie tho so watch out. With my teeth yeah.

[creacherkeeper]

community but make it GAY: 

greendale does pride (the dean blows all the budget on floats he wants jeff to dance on. jeff is adamantly Not Gay but is ......... extremely flattered by all the attention he’s getting from guys. troy and abed go “as friends” but theyre wearing pride merch & holding hands and all the gay folks there are like ???uh guys??? britta starts an anti-capitalism-at-pride protest and no one shows up. shirley is hesitant but so many young queer students with unsupportive parents are thankful she’s there and she’s like Guess I’m Their Mom Now. annie is like I Am Making Out With These Women Because I Am A Supporter And Women Supporting Women And Female Power And All That. No Other Reason It’s Fine Don’t Question It. (pierce has died of influenza)) 

annie dating women but not calling it that and everyone’s like. so. you’re a lesbian. and annie is like how does this make me a lesbian??? i’m just not as repressed about female friendship as you all are. and they’re like. annie??????? she really doesn’t catch on for a comical amount of time 

shirley week 1: live yalls life but youre living in sin. shirley week 2: i have joined the PFLAG 

jeff gets jealous of a gay guy who has a lot of admirers and is like i’m going to show that guy up for NO PARTICULAR REASON i could have so many more admirers fuck him. im Not Bi i’m just hotter than him and i can prove it (turns out he just has a crush) 

frankie has her first one night stand and she’s a W R E C K 

troy and abed plan a wedding and everyone’s like. yall just became official not that long ago isn’t this a little too fast? in actuality they weren’t really planning on getting married, it was just so they could do homages & hijinks, but then the day comes and everything is already planned & they sort of realize like .... it wouldn’t really change anything if they were? so theyre like Might As Well and the ceremony is nuts but actually ends up being much more touching and earnest than anyone expected (b plot where annie is in charge of making the documentary and abed has been Training Her For This Moment and it’s like. a disaster but she does manage to get the very tender vows and its nice) 

britta: I AM THE MOST SUPPORTIVE ALLY everyone: britta youre bi?? did you not know? britta: HOLY SHIT WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME??? 

britta: my Therapistic Diagnosis is that you have Unresolved Gay Feelings. abed: britta i’ve literally been trying to tell you this for months why do you think i made all those classic queer canon references. britta: OKAY LOOK I HAVEN’T SEEN THOSE MOVIES I’M SOR- 

the story of annie edison and annie kim’s Competitive Dating 

shirley suspects one of her sons is gay so she has him hang out with troy and abed for that Positive Gay Role Model Experience but so many hijinks ensue and shirly is like (8 oh god they’re hooligans what have i done 

some woman arrives on campus & no one can figure out why everyone is being so cagey and awkward but it turns out frankie, jeff, and the dean have all dated her 

Britta’s Parents Are Being Too Supportive And She Doesn’t Like It This Must Be A Trap 

abed gets mad at the long history of tragedy in gay cinema and decides to make his own gay movie but it turns out he’s really bad at writing happy things & he’s like I’m Part Of The Problem but the real movie was the gay friends we had along the way 

made in cooperation with @lil-annie-adderall and @orocatto thank you for your service 

[leescoresbies]

figured u might be able to answer this, so: what is the best werewolf media? especially if it has lesbian/sapphic werewolves but honestly i'm not too fussed. also i prefer books to films/tv shows but again im not too fussy. i just think werewolves are a neat idea but i haven't really consumed any media containing werewolves except for h*rry p*tter

yes! anon, i am your woman. werewolf media in general is either like - the best, or the stupidest. it depends on where people’s priorities are and generally i don’t think people understand what is great about werewolves in fiction.

did you know that the supposed first werewolf film (”the werewolf” from 1913) is about a navajo woman who becomes a witch that transforms into a wolf to kill white settlers? every werewolf narrative that is NOT transgressing lines of society, poverty, disability, gender or desire is failing absolutely. 

but also - you need a nasty transformation scene that makes your skin crawl and you have got to have the guts to GO THERE. anyone else read hemlock grove? i’m not putting it on this list because the book itself is Not amazing but that werewolf scene?? i still think about it. so gross. 

in any case - here are some next-level-tier werewolf stories for you to enjoy & be grossed out by:

mongrels by stephen graham jones - the thing sgj does best is take the broad tropey concepts from a genre of horror and make them feel gritty and real and lived in. a werewolf story about family and poverty and indigenous identity. also just a good yarn. top of this list for a reason. 

the devourers by indrapramit das - queer south asian speculative fiction & it is both gross and sexy as hell. please read this book.

the bloody chamber by angela carter - short story collection of reinterpreted fairy tales and totally metal 

the cycle of the werewolf by stephen king - not his best work by any stretch but it does some compelling things with blame and intention that i like

“twilight in the towers” by clive barker (in the cabal short story collection) - he’s certainly not for everyone but when clive gets it, he gets it

ginger snaps (film) - THE werewolf-as-teen-girl transgression movie!

an american werewolf in london (film) - kind of the classic werewolf movie but imo it holds up

good manners - a brazilian lesbian horror werewolf melodrama

penny dreadful - i was just thinking about my darling werewolf cowboy ethan chandler yesterday! 

this isn’t any of those things specifically but my pal marisa is writing a series on werewolf narratives as queer allegories -- it looks at some of these stories and others and is fascinating and great! read it here.

objectively - the greatest werewolf narrative ever written is “der volf” (”the wolf”) by yiddish poet h. leivick. after his shtetl is destroyed and his community murdered, a rabbi transforms into a monster. he begins to take revenge on other jewish refugees who move into his destroyed town. a meditation on trauma, guilt, jewish identity and monstrosity that was written in 1920 but could have been written this year. but - it’s in yiddish and translations aren’t easy to find so -- good luck with that. 

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it’s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.

[adamsvanrhijn]

not to be very annoying, but do you happen to know any good books/resources about lgbt slang/identities in victorian/edwardian/etc england? (i mean, things such as lesbians calling each other "toms" and the like). don't worry if you don't know any, but i just figured i'd ask since this was kinda in your Area Of Interest so you might know some off the top of your head.

the not annoying at all but this is a more complex question than at first glance hahaha

TL;DR: there are many types of queer language / we have way more info about men, who have their own lexicon / this era is widely seen as the era in which the concept of identity is actually coming into play / books list at the end, scroll down til you reach bolded text if you don’t want my commentary.

so when you’re looking at mid 19th - interwar lgbt communities, whether in europe or the uk or the usa it doesn’t really matter bc this is quite universal, you’ve got at least three registers, for lack of an easier word:

how self-identified homosexual, inverted, queer, abnormal etc men (henceforth gay men) speak with each other

how self-identified “” women (henceforth lesbian women) speak with each other

interactions between these groups

these naturally intersect with other socioeconomic class factors.

back to england specifically:

despite legal considerations gay men have the most agency and ability to move around and therefore are more likely to interact with each other and form communities. so now you have additional registers:

upper middle / upper class

middle / lower middle / working class (more registers here but nobody asked me and i promise i will give you recs soon)

again, interactions between them

the latter category has limited applications; most of them have to do with prostitution or casual sex and tend to be about categorizing people in terms of what sex acts they participate in. (this is universally true of most forms of gay slang and/or their origins for obvious reasons) think locker room talk. OR, we’re looking at cross class relationships and how other people view members of cross class relationships. not to generalize bc there are other things than this but what is best documented here is the upper class pov of these interactions

for the first category there is much less slang & unique community language, when you look at letters and works of literature etc etc people are picking and choosing from both medical/psychiatric terminology, which is developing rapidly from the 1860s on, and like, classical works; you get a lot of alluding to things. artistic communities (bloomsbury group, natalie clifford barney’s harem in paris and what have you) meanwhile are sort of all over the map. but bc this isn’t Polite Society talk, most of the sources for this kind of language tend to be limited in scope. which is true for all subculture language really but like in this case, authors of the day who are writing what they know are we think giving a pretty accurate picture of what their actual communities were like... but it’s put through a filter for publication.

by the 20th century urban working class gay men in certain circles are using polari, a subcultural lexicon which came from mid/late 19th century theatre and music hall slang, which came from fairground cant, seafaring , labor slang, Yiddish, cockney, theatre slang, fishmarkets, French, Italian, underground crime rings literally i could go on and there’s lots of debate about this. it’s turn of the century when it comes to be used very widely within the gay community, and while its origins are in london it made it to other uk urban centres fairly quickly. this lasted well into the latter half of the 20th century and is the base for a lot of community slang today, which leads me to

lesbian women, who also used polari, albeit to a lesser extent. these were primarily lesbians who were also in the 3rd camp above - ones who are involved in the community and interacting w/ gay men regularly. (”straight women who work in theatre” is another category of woman polari speakers haha but performance slang went thru many changes and eventually things got p separate so you had fairground & theatre cant and gay subculture slang having similar roots but very distinct in usage)

for lesbian communities the same thing as w gay men applies for the upper classes just to a lesser degree due to the relative lack of a community experienced by women

but a very important point here is that, ESPECIALLY during the victorian period, less so moving into the 20th century, intimate relationships between women are viewed very, very differently than those between men - male relationships have hard and fast boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable, those of women do not. 

the development of identity w/ sexuality for women i think in many ways had a lot more to do with women who expressed their gender differently than women who had intimate exclusive relationships w/ other women 

anyway the point is there unfortunately is no like comprehensive text for All Queer Language at this point in time, nor for the development of sexual identity, and the nature of this field (linguistics + history + sociology about queer stuff) means that a lot of the good work is in academic articles which i do NOT know off the top of my head. :-( but here’s some stuff !!

LIST OF THE ACTUAL BOOKS SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT

ok so these are all nonfiction, mostly academic nonfiction, but i want to stress that contemporary literature is a REALLY good way to get a (often rose tinted but not always) look into subculture and there are many novels that play with and/or poke at the ongoing development of sexual identity, especially in edwardia, especially especially in the 1920s, so if youve got endless time to read on your hands it is absolutely worth poking around there.

i have a list in the works of 1920s literature that has lgbt stuff in it and i realise thats a bit late for you but even so!!

also: compilations of letters, memoirs, etc are like super super invaluable 

anyway ive bolded the most important ones:

Kosofsky Sedgwick, Eve. Epistemology of the Closet. 1990. University of California Press. [required lgbt theory reading, literally the foundation for soooo much]

Marcus, Sharon. Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England. 2007. Princeton University Press.

Robb, Graham. Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century. 2003. [this is like, functionally prerequisite reading for any gay male stuff for the 19th century & robb is an excellent popular historian who also has an actual academic background]

Rupp, Leila J. Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women. 2008. NYU Press.

Russett, Cynthia. Sexual Science: The Victorian Construction of Womanhood. 1989. Harvard University Press. [touches on things but is not About sexuality/identity]

these are both already on my downton abbey research list but they both discuss language thruout and identity very thoroughly:

Brady, Sean. Masculinity and Male Homosexuality in Britain, 1861-1913. 2005. Palgrave Macmillan.

David, Hugh. On Queer Street: A Social History of British Homosexuality 1895-1995. 1997. HarperCollins.

for polari, see basically everything paul baker’s done. the 2019 might be the most accessible but i havent read it yet:

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa: A dictionary of Polari & gay slang. 2002. London: Continuum.

Baker, Paul. Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men (Routledge Studies in Linguistics). 2002. London: Routledge.

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa! The Story of Polari, Britain’s Secret Gay Language. 2019. London: Reaktion.

while it predates the era youre asking about, this book is good reading that leads up to the changes of the victorian era in sexual morality & how that affects identity and language:

Donoghue, Emma. Passions Between Women: British Lesbian Culture 1668–1801. 1995. HarperCollins.

also i hate to do this but like. foucault lol. obviously not focused on britain but very much focused on the development of identity and sexuality. 

ive been working on this for like three straight hours im gonna go eat lunch now

[regrettablemeasure]

[CW: talking abt queer theory and mentioning a transphobic author]

Listen im not saying compulsory heterosexuality DOESN'T exist in some shape or form, but ignoring even the modern way its been used to try and shame and enforce the "gold star lesbian" standard onto us - the theory originally was written straight up by a transmisogynist.

Adrienne Rich was the author who first penned Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence in 1980. And yes, I have actually READ it. It's only 32 pages long and not that difficult to get through. (more info and sources are under the cut)

Despite the book having what I do think are very good viewpoints and ultimately a good intention, its completely irresponsible to ignore the fact that the woman was a classic TERF. She was a gender essentialist and was a HUGE supporter of Janice G. Raymond (who wrote The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the She-Male). Raymond even shouted her out in that awful book. They were bros. I know its sad to acknowledge a lot of older lesbian authors were transphobic, and I know it was 40+ years ago. I DO think there is a level of needing to acknowledge the time period where things were written and what was considered progressive and socially acceptable back then. But I also don't think its fair to just completely ignore that the woman who penned a theory that now is being used by a LOT of radfems and their supporters today to go after gay women that don't hold up to certain "standards"... was written by a transphobic person.

Its almost as if I don't pull these TERF criticisms out of my ass from nothing. Isn't that something!

When Rich wrote about focusing on other women as a way to uplift other gay women, she meant to look upon other gay women in a positive way. To listen to them and understand THEIR viewpoints, especially because we don't have a surplus of text, art, etc. in the public conciousness made by gay women. Ironic, then, that both she and modern day TERFS use it as a way to splinter the community and silence women that don't fit in their boxes. To try and forcibly slingshot us back into heterosexual space where we inherently don't belong.

You need to know your history but, especially with Queer Theory or any subject matter you want to debate, also know the person BEHIND that history. I think its very important to read these authors but you also need to update your own belief as the world moves forward. Comphet was written in the 80's and its always going to be stuck that way. If you're reading this post, it means you're a Currently Alive Person, which means you're malleable and need to be willing to update your views for the betterment of gay women. Don't come to me with this comphet bullshit unless you actually have read the original essay and are willing to come to grips with everything stated above. There's a reason a lot of queer women are leaving the term behind.

I also implore you to read "What Kind of Times Are These" by Jennifer Boylan. Shes a trans woman who did enjoy parts of Adrienne's writings like a lot of us do - but also discusses how it was important for Adrienne's views to be publicly acknowledged. Instrument in the Shape of a Woman by Alison Rumfitt discuses her, too. It's never been a "cancellation" of Adrienne and writers like her, because its true that they've contributed a lot to the community. But holding their WORST beliefs accountable and bringing them to the forefront is mandatory for the queer community - especially for queer women- to grow.

Sources (including a link to the essay): X X X X X

[intothewilde]

⌠ ellie bamber, 20, cis female, she/her ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, GIORGIA WILDE! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (first edition books, walking in the rain, candy-scented lip gloss, getting lost in a museum, millions of twinkling city lights). when it’s the (sagittarius)’s birthday on 12/13/1999, they always request their CHERRY PIE from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

she can’t do shit with knives yet but it’s a great gif, don’t @ me) but DO like this if you want me to hit you up for plots

@gallagherintro​

tw: implied neglect, brief mentions of mental illness and addiction

ok! so giorgia was born and raised in new york city. both of her parents came from extremely wealthy families. her mother was a french socialite and her father was the golden boy of a hearst-like (founders/owners of a distinguished publishing conglomerate) family from connecticut. some of his family members claimed to be descendants of one of oscar wilde’s cousins (a rumor that has yet to be confirmed) and he believed he had it in him to become a literary great himself. he seemingly succeeded, having published multiple best sellers popular with young pseudo-intellectuals. 

giorgia was never sure if her mother had wanted a daughter or a life-size doll. from a very young age she was primed to fit into high society and paraded around her parent’s lavish parties. most of her time was spent with nannies and violin tutors, studying her father’s poetic heroes, and dancing ballet. she was taught how to socialize with society’s elite, but she never felt comfortable doing so. she felt safer hiding behind her mother or sitting beneath the stairs with her nose in a book.

while her mother wanted her child to be pretty and proper, her father wanted someone to continue his family’s legacy. she learned to read when she was four, and by the time she was five, gio was forced to write in a diary every. single. day. (over the last fifteen years she’s filled up dozens of notebooks that live on a bookshelf in her childhood bedroom). she didn’t particularly like her father and she didn’t want to want what he wanted for her. (did that sentence make sense? i hope so). but she did like to write and she was damn good at it. her poetry was published in online journals and lit mags, her short stories won young artist awards. on the outside, she was everything her parents wanted.

but like i said before, gio struggled with the social part or being a socialite, and the life of an heiress was never something she wanted. she didn’t seem to have the right attitude - she was demure and diffident, a textbook wallflower. she was never happier than when she was reading a book or roaming a museum, always curious about the world around her. she never misbehaved or did anything wrong, but her parents wanted her to behave differently. 

their tribeca penthouse always had a certain cold air to it and the high ceilings only seemed to add to the lonely feeling that gio couldn’t escape. her relationship with her parents seemed to become more strained with each passing day. the more she learned about them the more gio realized she didn’t know them at all - the spa retreats her mother went on were really trips to psychiatric facilities and rehabs, and the endless slew of young women her father employed as assistants were all lazily hidden affairs. they never talked about it, if she tried to she was shut down or ignored entirely.

gio grew up wanting to go to nyu. she didn’t know where the dream came from (her parents wanted her to go to vassar or dartmouth) but she loved her home city and something about nyu had always called to her. she was accepted early admission to the gallatin school where she planned to major in an individualized study of creative and dramatic writing.

she loved her freshman year of college. she was finally out of her parents’ home and into a postage stamp of an apartment with an eccentric girl studying theater. she was around people from all over the world and all walks of life instead of the tiny bubble of rich snobs and private schools. she was around people she actually had things in common with. she was still shy and she still found it extremely difficult to talk to people. the easiest way for her to interact with people was to overcompensate for her shyness and be excessively friendly. when she was actually able to talk, she found she had many things to say, and once she started talking it was hard for her to stop.

her roommate was a big fan of movie marathons (in october they watched all of the scream movies, and then all of the saw movies, and then all of the children of the corn movies. that’s twenty horror movies. gio still has nightmares from them). for a few weeks in the fall she had a spy movie marathon. mission: impossible and jason bourne movies, mostly. something about them piqued gio’s interest, and she started reading spy novels, which quickly turned into her writing one of her own. she wanted the protagonist to be a woman for once, and one who’s main personality trait wasn’t tits. her novel, at dawn beneath the bridge of sighs, followed a cia operative and an italia aisi agent who are forced to work together to find the kidnapped daughter of an american diplomat along with the priceless jewelry she was wearing at the time of her capture. (do i know what the fuck im talking about? no!!) 

gio comes from a family of publishers so it was fairly easy for her to find someone who wanted to publish it, but the nepotism ended there, the success was all her own. it was lauded as an impressive debut novel and critics praised her subversion of genre tropes and inventive action sequences. but it stuck out to a select few for a different reason - the heroine used tactics uncannily similar to those used by actual spies, and she used them well. some people were curious as to how the character would handle other situations in the spy world, or really how the author would plan it.

so yeah she got a letter from gallagher, and she thought it was a joke at first. she eventually figured out it was very real (how? idk!) and her curiosity got the better of her. she decided it would be good for research, and that she could go back to nyu if she wanted to. once she arrived at gallagher, giorgia... did not know what to do. she had never been so out of her element, and she felt like she was terrible at everything. but that wasn’t really true, all the things you could study for were things she was actually learning. she became determined to actually do well, and as her first year comes to an end, gio still feels extremely unsure of herself, and unsure of where she wants to focus her studies, but she’s starting to feel like gallagher is the right place for her to be.

personality: she’s very sweet, very earnest, sometimes has a tendency to retreat into herself and get quiet, but she still combats her shyness with an outgoing attitude she learned from her mother that takes her far out of her comfort zone. basically as outgoing as an introvert can be. she tries to see the best in everyone and every situation. emphasis on tries, because she’s a total worrier and is often pulled between the desire to find a silver lining and the fear that something horrible will happen. she will give people more chances than they deserve and let them walk all over her. her self esteem can be pretty low, but one thing she is confident about is her writing (although she won’t tell you because she doesn’t want to seem boastful). art and literature in all forms are her favorite things and she could talk about it forever. she’s the kind of person who tries to learn everyone’s names and once she knows it she’ll say hi to you every time she sees you.

other stuff: she’s fluent in french and english and grew up speaking them equally. (she also knows some spanish, italian, german, and russian from her nannies, but she’s not fluent). she has a deep love for photography, usually bringing a camera with her at all times. she can play classic violin and piano, but hasn’t in a while and is probably rusty, she continued to dance until she came to gallagher and no longer had time to practice. she has a cat named pierre (named after pierre-auguste renoir). she's a vegetarian. she’s basically addicted to fruit. she listens to a lot of sad pop music. her favorite colors are blush pink and forest green. she watches a lot jean-luc godard and wes anderson movies. she’s kind of a sad girl/art ho. she gets crushes on people easily and all the time. she is very impressionable, and seems to experience heartbreak often. she just wants someone to lover her for her, you know? 

wanted connections: (im super fucking tired so im just gonna write some really basic shit but hopefully i’ll edit it tomorrow).

a best friend: it’s not easy for her to make friends but i want gio to have one person she can truly be herself around. a platonic soulmate, if you will.

friends: really just anyone who is understanding of how she’s not always comfortable talking but will also listen if she starts ranting about queer representation in 20th century poetry and plays, ya feel?

big brother/big sister: because she hated being an only child and she really needs someone looking out for her

bad influence: its not hard to be a bad influence on her but someones gotta do it!

good influence: someone who lets her baby ways rub off on them

idk what to call this but a sort of mutual respect with someone she’s had a class with?

idk what to call this either but someone she really clashes with, they just don’t understand each other

people she knew in nyc: she was there for the first 19 years of her life so if your character was there in early 2019 or any time before that, they could’ve run into each other

someone from a similar background who she can just be like... felt with?

hookups/flings: she loves love but love does not love her

an ex: could be good or bad terms idk 

crushes, mutual or unrequited

give me literally anything, the more angst the better!!