#look what they did to my gi r l s

[crusaderce]

n a h look at this cop out- b u l l s h i t

[teeztheflag]

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Wolf!Ateez Reaction to random ,poking‘ on the nose

warnings: strong language, suggestive, smut, violence, dominance

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k i m h o n g j o o n g

„Didn’t I say stay at home when there’s alarm?“

You roll with your eyes while picking up more herbs from the garden. Sensing the big wolf behind you becoming restless makes you smirk mischievously.

You bend down to pick up a flower when you can feel a warm and wet snout tickling your (in comparison) small face.

„Hong Joong! Stop haha.“ You’re giggling profusely while the wolf doesn’t stop until you are on the ground with him on top of you licking your face.

„You won’t listen to me so there’s punishment.“

„Noo, wait! Pl - please...“ After a while your mate finally stops and you try to catch your breath again. Leaning up on your arms a little bit you watch the big eyes of the wolf interested.

With a small smile you ‚boop�� his nose and laugh. The wolf sneezes and shakes his head to lick you all over the face.

„Ew, Hong Joong!“

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p a r k s e o n g h w a

„Stop following me around!“

The wolf behind you doesn’t stop when you shout at him per mind link. Everyone knew that Park Seong Hwa was head over heels for you. Well, he was your mate after all...

But, you didn’t want to be mated so early. You wanted to see the world first and liked to have your space and freedom. Seong Hwa‘a attitude on the other hand screamed „let’s build a family and live in a house and visit our parents every weekend so our children can play and...“.

He didn’t say this but he gave of the attitude.

Anyways, after telling the boy you needed a week for yourself first - which he respected - the urge to see you and be close to his mate grew inexorable after seven days passed.

No matter if in your wolf or as a human Seong Hwa followed you everywhere. Even now very early at your morning run.

You stopped in your tracks after a few attempts of shaking off the wolf. „Ok, listen. I want to be along right now... understood?“

Seong Hwa tilts his head at your statement and huffs out not agreeing with it.

„I - I just want to make sure you’re ok...“

When his head starts to hang your wolf ushers you to react to his cuteness. His heartwarming words make you take a step to him and you touch his snout with your own.

Seong Hwa seems to purr at the contact and his eyes shine at you with happiness. „Shit, I don’t think I can be angry with you...“

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j e o n g y u n h o

„You look like a bunny.“ He says when you look up to him from the ground and he places the tip of his index lightly on your nose.

A frown develops on your face while you watch how the smirk on Yun Ho‘s face only brightens.

„Mhh - mhg.“

„Ah, yes...“ Yun Ho‘s hips buckle and with a light push he grabs the back of your head holding you still. You can feel the liquid filling up your mouth while butterflies and lust roam your body.

With a bop Yun Ho let’s go of your hair and breaths hard while you’re looking like a mess kneeing on the ground. His gaze drifts to your slip where he can see the wetness from your neediness.

„I should take care of that, right?“

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k a n g y e o s a n g

„You have such a cute nose...“ Yeo Sang eyes you suspiciously and puts down the book he was currently reading.

„Stop embarrassing me.“ You pout at his answer but seem to smile anyways while admiring his beauty.

Other students are watching the two of you being completely head over heels for the young couple of their prestigious school.

„I don’t get why she’s with him. He’s a dick.“

Some of the girls and boys turn around shock evident on their faces. „He’s Kang Yeo Sang. And (y/l/n) (y/n) the only girl that can warm his heart of ice. It’s so romantic!“ Girls are squeaking at the sight of you still talking while Yeo Sang pretends to read his book.

He’s listening to you of course. You’re his beloved mate and always shining like a star in his seemingly dark world.

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c h o i s a n

You’re pushing the boy on the bed with a little to much force. Straddling his waist you make sure he gets rid of his shirt and stop yourself from drooling when you see his abs.

„God damn, you’re hot Choi San!“

He frowns at you and smirks while grabbing your waist. „Like this is a secret.“

You start to kiss upwards from his hips while listening to the sweet little moans he gives you. His head is tilted back and eyes closed completely in the bliss of your touches.

Suddenly he flinches when you bop his nose and kiss his soft and slightly opened lips. „The coolest Choi San... proud first wolf of the guards... letting out so cute noses when his mate is touching him.“

You cannot stop the giggle the escapes while San realizes what you just said to him. With a harsh tug he turns you over and pins your hands over your head on the cushion. His eyes turn into a golden color and he leans down to breath your scent in.

„You know my secret. Let’s see what sounds you make when you can’t walk anymore.“

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s o n g m i n g i

„Okay guys! That’s enough for today.“ Everyone claps at Min Gi‘s words and his nose easily catches your scent when the wind turns.

You jog to him happily while he gets rid of his shirt to get ready for a shower after the hard training. „Oh, wait. Baby I am so sweaty...“ You pout and get on your tiptoes motioning for him to take you into his embrace.

A huge and goofy smile appears on the strong wolf‘s face while he enjoys the scent you’re giving off and the feeling of your skin on his.

„Did you already take a run, princess?“

„No, that’s why I am here. We could go to the lake y‘know?“ You bite your lips at the suggestion leaving Min Gi furrow his eyebrows at you.

Suddenly he kisses the tip of your nose to which your cheeks heat up immediately. You quickly find the ground really interesting when Min Gi moves your head up by placing his index under your chin.

„You’re so cute, (y/n)... then come on!“

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j u n g w o o y o u n g

„You fucking idiot!“ With a strong push your fist lands on Woo Young‘s nose to which the boy yells out and angrily changes into his wolf.

You follow soon after and the much bigger wolf starts to circle your form while some of your teachers stand in the back watching the scene on the field bored.

„How dare you hurt my precious nose?!“ Woo Young launches at you but you’re quick to jump away.

„You shouldn’t stick your nose into things that aren’t your business!“

The wolf growls at you and eyes you down while his canines flash angrily.

„Not my business?“ He emphasizes every word while taking more steps to your form.

„Every female in this pack is my business. You are my business!“

„Oh shut the fuck up.“

„Oh god, hopefully they won’t become mates.“ An elderly woman turns around to laugh at the others. „I think our alpha could need some excitement.“

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c h o i j o n g h o

You were a human. Well, technically you always believed so. It was the moment Jong Ho couldn’t hold himself back in the forest when you already spotted him.

Carefully reaching out of the bushes he howled to show you he wasn’t anything of a threat. You on the other hand were like glued to the ground watching the enormous wolf with big eyes.

Jong Ho couldn’t hold himself back to reach your form and nuzzle his snout in your neck although feeling your distress and fear.

Mate. He found his mate.

He sat down in front of you waiting for any reaction and frowned when you didn’t do anything.

„You won’t go right? You want to be petted?“

Jong Ho understands that you’re probably not aware... he is sad but also relived when you start to caress his fur and ears and has to suppress his purr when lay your palm flat on his snout and let him breath and feel the touch of your skin.

You start to smile when the wolf becomes impatient and rolls his head in the way you’re back to having him in your arms and stroking wherever you’re able to.

„Good boy!“

„Mh, it’s a good start...“

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↺ back to navi

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[brandyllyn]

SFW Alphabet: Poe Dameron

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?):

Poe loves watching you talk to other people. He knows how to be charming, to get people laughing and smiling, but people just seem to trust you. Spilling out their deepest secrets without thinking twice about it. He asked you about it once but you just shrugged and said people like it when other’s listen to them and then you’d poked him in the chest with a pointed look. Once you two were done wrestling he’d forgotten the question entirely. B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?):

He loves your hands. Watching you fiddle with a piece of machinery or glide over the controls of your work station / X-Wing. Sometimes, during a meal or just the middle of the day, you’ll reach over and cup his cheek in your palm, tracing your fingers against his temple. It makes him just melt.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?):

You once likened cuddling with Poe to being caught by an especially nice smelling kraken. He just wraps himself around you, every one of his limbs tangled with every one of yours. There is no graceful exit from a Poe cuddle. You’re either in or you’re fighting for your life to get out. D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?):

Poe hasn’t dated much. What he knows about romance is what he remembers of his parents being together. So usually he does things like make meals for you, or take your hand while you’re on a walk and spin you into a dance right then and there. He has plans for when the war is over. Of taking you to someplace safe and tropical and just relaxing. But for now he’s got BB-8 programmed to play music at opportune times and he’ll do what he can to bring a little bit of romance into your life. E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?):

Big emotions. Big. Poe doesn’t have small reactions to most things. He’s either running hot or he’s hiding how he’s feeling. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but you’ve learned over time to decipher the twitch of his eyebrows, how he clenches his jaw. And you coax him into talking with you about things before they can become too big. F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?):

Poe wants kids. A half dozen of them with his nose and your eyes, and another half dozen orphans from the war. He wants to sit on a couch somewhere with your kids in his lap and his arm wrapped around you and just drift off into a peaceful sleep where he won’t have to worry about invading forces.

He’s happy to wait for that as long as it takes to be safe. And if that day is too far in the future where natural kids are off the table - then he’s open to adopting all of them. G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?):

Poe is like a magpie, always finding shiny rocks or shells and leaving them in weird places for you to find. He’s not one for giving big gifts - but every day he finds a stone that’s the same color as your eyes, or he sends you a photo of something he saw that reminded him of you.

For his part, he gets very chuffed when you get him gifts. You got him a scarf a few months ago that he wore every day for a month - proudly telling anyone who commented that it was a gift from you and wasn’t it perfect? H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?):

If you are within three feet of you Poe is reaching for your hand. It’s like it’s automatic. Once you walked up behind him and you’d swear on everything there was no way he knew you were there but his hand reached back anyway and found yours.

When you’re in Command and pressed in with the rest of the crew, sometimes he holds your hand then too. You’re not supposed to, supposed to be professionals and focused on the mission. But it’s like he can’t help himself. I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?):

He would lose his goddamn mind. Once after doing a blood donation in MedBay you fainted on shift and had to be transported back down there. By the time you woke up you found out that he’d tried to force his way inside the MedBay and was sitting in the brig for punching a superior officer. He got off with a warning and cleaning detail but there were standing orders on base that if you ever went into the MedBay again all efforts were to be made to clear a path from Poe to you.

J = Jealousy (do they get jealous?):

Not really? You’re far more likely to get jealous of him talking to someone than he is to get jealous of you. What he gets jealous of is your time. You two have so few moments to just be together, any time you end up doing something else he sulks. Internally. He’d never want you to think he didn’t want you to have friends or interests outside of him. But yeah, if he could spend the rest of his life in bed with just the two of you he’d do that without thinking twice.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?):

Soft. So so soft. It’s like he’s afraid he’s going to break you. Or scare you. Or some other strange thing he has in his head about you. It’s always you that deepens the kiss. Always you that makes things a little rougher, a little needier.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?):

It’s a thousand little things. The stroke of his thumb across the back of your hand. The way he saves the best part of his rations for you. He always has a cup of caf ready for you when you wake up, steaming and hot and just the way you like it.

He says it a lot too. Your favorite is when he nuzzles his nose against yours and just barely whispers it.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?):

Your first kiss will always be one of his favorites. You’d been off together alone somewhere, arguing about Maker only knew what, and the next thing he knew you were kissing him. He’d frozen, convinced that he’d imagined it. But when you started babbling about how you were sorry and would never do it again he had kissed you and you’d melted against him.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?):

Losing. 

Losing the war. Losing his squad. Losing you. It’s a constant pall that hangs over your lives. Sometimes he wakes up in the night from dreams where the squadron goes down. Or the First Order has captured the base. You’re always there to soothe him, to stroke his back and tell him that will never happen.

He knows you can’t make that promise, but somehow hearing you say it makes it almost feel true.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?):

Poe has a thing about bones. He doesn’t like them. Back on Yavin IV there was this cave he accidentally fell into as a boy and was stuck down there for hours in some animal’s abandoned abattoir. Since then, he hasn’t been able to be around old bones without feeling like he might throw up.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?):

Sweetheart, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy. Once after a night of celebrating with the crew and a cask of whiskey, he mumbled something to you in a language you didn’t recognize. When you repeated it back to him he’d pushed you up against the wall and kissed you like his life depended on it, sighing the word into your mouth over and over.

He still won’t tell you what it means - or even what language it is. C-3PO is under strict instructions not to tell you.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?): 

He just likes being near you. If you’re both in your quarters he enjoys sitting with your feet across his lap while you both read. Or going on walks together to look at the stars. Sometimes at Command he positions himself so that he’s closer to you, just to feel the sense of peace that settles over him when you’re near.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?):

Poe enjoys music, really he does. But he’s never really had time or inclination to learn much about it. He likes things that he can dance to with you.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?):

You and he both have secrets. You work in different squads/ departments which means you sometimes have intel that the other doesn’t. You both understand that and try hard not to accidentally push about it.

When it comes to your personal lives Poe is, at times, an over-sharer. He asks you questions about you all the time and will answer truthfully anything you ask him.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?):

Longer than either of you we’re happy with. He knew he wanted you from the first moment - but with everything else going on in the universe there was never time to get to know each other. A few dates were made but always got cancelled. You spent literal months flirting and then sighing melodramatically around each other until it was an act of mercy for Command to give you both the day off and send you off somewhere alone.

When you came back you were a couple.

U = Upset (how do they act when they’re upset?):

He rarely gets truly deeply angry. Annoyed a lot - which usually manifests in an eyeroll or at worst him storming off in a huff for a bit. But when he gets truly, deeply angry he lashes out. Sometimes knocking something over or sometimes even with harsh words. You’ve had to talk to him about that - about saying things that were too harsh in the heat of the moment. He’s working on it but coming along slowly. Thankfully, you two rarely fight.

V = Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?):Poe has never really put much thought into his looks. He knows his hair is too long most of the time, but you seem to like playing with it so he never cuts it until you say something. He never really thought of himself as more than passably handsome until you came into his life. With the number of times you have assured him he’s gorgeous he’s starting to believe it and jokes about entering beauty pageants when the war is over.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting?):

He doesn’t like it. He really doesn’t like it. Not because he thinks you can’t take care of yourself, but because he hates the idea of you getting hurt.

Once, he saw you throw a Wookie over your shoulder during a training exercise and had to stop himself from yelling "That’s my girl!" across the field. So there is that.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?):

He misses signals a lot. Over time, you’ve learned that he’s a fairly direct person and he functions best if you’re direct with him as well. Dropping hints about being upset will generally be met with confusion or him entirely mis-reading the situation and making things worse. The good thing is that he’s very open and willing to communicate. He just needs to know what you want to communicate about so he can be fully onboard.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?): 

Poe wants someone who listens to him - but who will stand up to him when the time comes. He’s not really into super shy or hesitant types. He lives his life fast and wants someone who will either keep up with him or grab him by the scruff of the neck to make him slow down.

He hates pranks. Hates them. Hates being the victim of them and will never ever help in their perpetration. They always seem more cruel to him than humorous.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?):

Sitting in the quiet of space. Radio off, just drifting in his X-Wing. There’s something almost meditative about it. The only other time he feels that way is when you’re holding him in your arms.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Overhaul / Chisaki Kai sfw alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Yeah... not very as you all may have expected. Chisaki is very reserved and his mysophobia doesn't help at all. Although, years of not touching nobody can do so much to a person and he MIGHT be willing to touch you after a few months... maybe years.

At the first few times he will only show his affection by giving you things. That's it.

But well, the wait is worth it. Chisaki is a gentleman by nature. Kisses on the hand whenever you pass by, forcing/invinting you to sit on his lap.

His forms of affection are from actions, not from words. He sucks with words, Im sorry.

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

Something tells me that Chisaki would start a relationship only when the person gives him some type of interest. Personality, knowledge.... QUIRKLESS.

Really, he does care more about how intellugent or what they could be to him as a partner, appearance comes just as a bonus to him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

AHA!

Jokes apart, Chisaki is just as a stone when cuddling... if he is willing to honestly because this man is such a tsundere brat it huRTS-

He would slowly learn how to do it, but please give him time and espace, he never done this before God help him.

He is much more comfortable with you laying on his chest as he continues on with his paperwork, it gives hkm a sense that he is not alone and that he can spend time with you while doing something so tedious as paperwork.

BUT! On harsh days, as example got into a argument with pops or a bad day in general, he likes to lay his head on your lap and just forget the world exists as hugging you close and inhaling your clean scent.

Also well, enjoy when he is sleepy.

Also, cuddling only after a shower. No buts.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Well, he does want to settle down but as long as he can continue gis work on the Hassaikai then its nore than fine to him (if we're talking about after the raid THEN HE NEEDS TO SETTLE DOWN AND SOME THERAPY)

Cleaning master. Sucks at cooking.

Okay, he is not that bad he can make a toast, but he just really doesn't like to do it, since is just so messy. Really enjoys your cooking though if you know how to...

If not his poor childhood friend will become the chef of you two. Seriously Hari need a break-

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Fuck. If HE had to break up he would be straight to the point. Cold and uncaring. Not even the whole "is not you, its me" no no. Chisaki will make sure to tell that he is breaking up because of you and thats final, being on his good intentions or not.

Kai would break up with his partner if they did something like cheat on him or something... and he is from the mafia you rreally want to take the risk?!

Or he would break up due to his fear of you getting hurt. But this will only happen when his paranoia would take over him.

He doesn't want to lose you soon, affirmative.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He feels unnecessary before he mets someone he feels really in love with. He doesn't believed in love when younger so its a tragic change.

And no. Chisaki wants to make sure he knows the person very well before he goes to get down on one knee for them. And surprisingly, if he feels like he is safe and can be vulnetable around his partner? Then he is on the cloud nine internally.

Only time will tell when you can get engaged with this plague man.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

TSUNDERE BASTARD-

Is that enough? No? Ok.

He is always scoffing and rolling his eyes when you are affectionate with him but ny god dont stop or else he will discount his rage and frustation on poor Rappa.

Although, when he gets a bit drunk or just overworked he is so gentle. Like, sweet words and all, it even shocks you sometimesm

For him, you are the light of his dark life, his angel. So he doesn't mind speaking behind closed doors on how much he loves you and cherish you being here with him. Likes to carres your cheeks with the back of his gloved hand or plant sweet kisses on your forehead, hands and most of all: lips.

Appreaciate it because his behaviour can change on how you take his words.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Nope. Only when he feels the urge to it, when he is tired or when you are down.

He is not much of a hugger. But is willing to give some to you since... you're special to him.

Although Chisaki hugs are like 👌😤. His arms caging you to gis chest and how warm it feels its just heavenly. He hugs you close and likes to give you little squezze that does not hurt to make you sure he is not letting go for a while.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Long. Long time until he says this.

Saying those three words means to him only one thing: vulnerability.

Its going to take a lot of time for Kai to let out those words, mostly sure that his partner will be the one to say it first, but Kai would jjst stay there and not reply.

One: embarrassed as heck; Two: he is sure that he loves you back but... he needs time.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He is more overprotective than jealous. Yet he does feel it. A lot.

He doesn't trust OTHERS, he knows you love him. But the world around him failed so many times when he was young that this man has doubts even on his most considerate coomurate. He fears that they might take advantege of you.

A tiny part of him fears that you will leave him because he is not the mostproper partner, but his pride takes over that very easily.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft, passionate and hot.

As spoken before Kai loves to kiss your hand, forehead, cheeks and lips. Those are the cleanest and softest places he found to make you embarrassed and all soft.

He isn't much to being kissed... but he does love it when he is there working and then you rub his shoulder a bit before kissing his temple than pecking his lips softly.

Leaves him a blushing mess all the time.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

*laughs* ERI-CHAN-!

I have a few scenatios of him actually being a good dad so... I will just skip this one and let you all see it for yourselfs.

Although, one word. Strict dad. You guessed right.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

My HEART THEY ARE THE BEST

Especially when he doesn't go to work because its only there that you can see his resting face on the pillows. Usually when he goes to work he gets up, dress himself and carres your check softly before leaving a kiss on your temple and leaving.

When he is free you're trapped. Cant get out of the bed until he does.

Sweet scraches and petting coming from him. TAKE THOSE.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Soft. Watching him, tired as always getting out of his clothes to put his nightwear. If neither of you feel like crashing down onto the dreamland, Chisaki will pick one book you may like, let you rest your head on his chest, shoulder or lap as he reads it out loud while scracthing your head.

If he is on the mood he might even sing you a lullaby... only if you're feeling down though.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

After a very long time on the relationship.

If he does have a mentalbreakfown he is blurting everything out like he is about to die and just needs to tell you everything. Although it would be almost impossible.

I feel like Chisaki would slowly reveal things of himself to you. Is the most like to happen.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Easy peasy little squeaky.

This man gets angry easily but he does know how to control himself over this situations... although when he loses his patience he does get pissed off (we saw him already guys with pops and the heroes)

In discussions he woudl rather distance himself then to just shout at you though.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

STALKER

He knows everything and more about you. Every little detail he will remember

Seriously, he might still have that annoyed face of his when you're talming but he is listening and paying attention.

Might as well surprise you with your favorite sweets or flowers.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

First kiss.

He never kissed someone besides you so all the memroy is very well guarded on his mind and he does cherish it everyday.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Overprotective. Will kill for you, overhaul and then kill again for you.

Chisaki is powerful, not only by his quirk but his status as well so only one look of his is enough to scare the others away.

Or his threatenings like... slipping his glove out and showing his victim his bare hand as a signal to not speak or dont come any closer unless they want to die.

Will fell weirded out if you protect him since like... he is a boss of the mafia? He doesn't need protection? He is your knight in shinning armor not the other way around.

... although it makes him a bit embarrassed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

So much money that the Hassaimai is stealing from other gangs because of this asshole expending shit tones of moneh in your guys dates.

Everything you once thought or mentiomed for him is there. He is not afraid to spend money when it comes to you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Brush off something that its important to you bit seems unimportant for him.

Gets rude sometimes.

Always demanding on cleaning duty.

Wanting to keep his personal espace due to his mysophobia.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks? Do your looks bother them?)

Not much. He only gives care to his cleaning habbits and his smell. Definitely not because you find his scent amusing and devine. Nope. Definitely not.

He doesn't care about looks. Really, do not give a shit. Is just a bonus to him. You're divine and angelic to him.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Many thumbs up.

He feels extra annoyed and bothered when you're not around. Pls stay with this plague man.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Cant sleep without you on his side. Really, he just cant. He tried many times already but just ended up scoffing and going after you just because he needed to sleep says him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He calls you brat as a affectionate nickname but seriously, he doesn't want a child as his partner, so dont be too childish. It irritates him a lot.

BEING ORGANIZED IS NOT A OPTION IS A MUST. or else it will feel like he is more occupied scolding you then loving you for that matter.

Hates. HATES. when his plans doesn't work well and when suddenly you cancel a date of you two or any plans in general.

Hates.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs? Does it change around a partner?)

Cling to you for dear life when he gets comfortable with you. And I would suggest you to stay awake for a bit longer than him since he mumbles in his sleep.

Might be nightmares of rombas chasing him with knifes or words of how much he truly loves you? You might as well find out.

[jumukus]

A3! Event: Re: Tag Match Halloween Episode 10 Translation

Now that their previous problem is solved, both God-za and Mankai Company only have to collect candies to win the competition.

Haruto: Time is almost running out; we've gotta get all the remaining sweets.

You better do your best as well, since we're gonna take you on last.

Shifuto: Ah, Haruto-san, wait for me! See you later, guys~!

Muku: See you!

We also should let everyone know and make up for the lost time.

Tsumugi: True. They must have been quite worried. ...Fufu.

Muku: Tsumugi-san?

Tsumugi: You looked like a real prince when you came to save me, Muku-kun.

You were so cool that I almost feel sorry for those who were with you.

Muku: Huuh! No, I'm not…

Uh… I'm happy if you say so, though.

Tsumugi: Thank you again for saving me, Muku-kun.

Muku: You're welcome!

***

Muku: Looks like we've collected quite a lot of sweets. I think we have made up for the lost time?

Tsumugi: You're right.

Guess all we have to do now is looking for Haruto-kun. We've made a promise to do an Etude Battle with him last, after all.

Announcer: Etude Time for this year's Veludo Way Halloween has finally come to an end!

Good work, everyone. Those who participate in the event, please gather around the stage! We are going to count each pairs' sweets.

Muku: Ah…!

Tsumugi: The time is up…

Shifuto: Hey, you two. So you're here, huh.

Muku: I'm sorry, the event ended before we could hold our battle…

Haruto: It can't be helped. We can only compete through the number of sweets we have.

MC: The winner of this year's Veludo Way Halloween is… God-za's Arakawa and Asuka!!

Citron: Oh… God-za took away the winner spot again…

MC: And--Mankai Company's Sakisaka and Tsukioka! We have double winners for this year's contest!

*applause*

Muku: Wh…What!?

Tsumugi: We did it, Muku-kun!

Kumon: Awesome, Muku! Grats!

Sakuya: Congratulations!

Omi: Haha, good job.

Citron: I expected no less from you two! That's so awesome, being double winners!

Muku: Guys… Thank you!

MC: Let's welcome both winners to the stage. Please enjoy their shows!

Izumi: Muku-kun, Tsumugi-san, good luck on your special performance!

Tsumugi: Thanks.

Muku: We're off!

**

Haruto: "Now, show me your magic…!"

Shifuto: "O light… illuminate our way!"

***

Muku: Both of them are so good…

O-Oh no, I'm getting nervous…

Tsumugi: It'll be fine, Muku-kun. Since today is Halloween, let's have a blast on the stage together.

Muku: You're right. Let's go, Tsumugi-san!

***

Tsumugi: "U-Ugh…"

Muku: "...! A-Are you okay!?"

"Let me help you. My home is just around the corner, you can rest there."

"Are you hurt? Hungry? If there's anything I can do to help…"

Tsumugi: "...Why are you… Why are you so kind to other people even though you're a vampire?"

Muku: "...!"

Tsumugi: "I'm thankful that you're helping me out, but… Isn't a vampire supposed to have dignity and fearful vibes?"

Muku: "...I know--I know I'm not like your usual vampire."

"But I don't know what to do…"

Tsumugi: "I have no choice, then… As a thank you for helping me out, I shall accompany you in your special training."

Muku: "R-Really!?"

***

Tsumugi: "Be more confident! You don't sound fearful enough!"

Muku: "Gi, Give me your blood!"

Tsumugi: "Aaah, geez, no good! Speak louder! Show your fangs! Glare at me!"

Muku: "F-Follow me!"

Tsumugi: "Even when you're laughing, don't just simply smile. Laugh scornfully, make a grinning face."

Muku: "L-Like this? ...Grins."

Tsumugi: "...You look like someone who is in emotional pain."

"Be cooler, more refined, smile more beautifully but make sure you still instill fear in others!"

Muku: "Cool! Refined! More beautiful! ...Grins!"

Tsumugi: "*sighs*. It's no good after all. You're truly not vampire-like…"

Muku: "S-Sorry…"

"Oh… I've got a letter, and a message from the familiar spirits."

Tsumugi: "What is it?"

Muku: "My vampire friends apparently like the raspberry juice I told them about before. They want to know other recipes."

"As for the familiar spirits… Fufu, they're inviting me to go on a night out in the sky."

Tsumugi: "...You're quite liked by others, huh."

Muku: "Is that how it looks?"

"Oh, yeah! Let me treat you to some juice and sweets as a thank you for accompanying me in training."

Tsumugi: "...You're such a strange fellow. Even though you always look out of it and not very vampire-like, I can't somehow bring myself to hate you."

"Well, I guess that's what makes you different from others, and maybe it can be your charming point."

"Just stay the way you are. No need to force yourself to be like other vampires."

***

Shifuto: Your Etude was super interesting!

Haruto: Hmph, it wasn't that bad.

Muku: Ehehe… Thank you!

Shifuto: Oh, right, I heard this from Reni-san--.

Looks like God-za will do a victory parade when they win the Veludo Way Halloween.

Since you two are also the winners in this event, why don't you join us?

Tsumugi: Huh, a victory parade?

Haruto: Hey, you, I've told you to stop deciding things by yours…!

Shifuto: Reni-san never opposed to it, though! It's such a good chance! I'm gonna ask him!

Muku: W-Will it be okay…

Tsumugi: I don't know…

Muku: Wow, a Halloween-themed convertible...! Amazing!

I can't believe we're really allowed to join the parade…!

Tsumugi: Same. Riding a fine convertible at a parade like this is kind of embarrassing, though.

Spectator A: Grats on your win!

Spectator B: It was really great! I'm gonna watch your show as well!

Muku: Thank you!

Citron: Muku! Tsumugi! I'm jealous of you!

Sakuya: You look really cool!

Tsumugi: Y-You guys…!

Izumi: Look here, you two!

Muku: Tsumugi-san, I think Director-san is taking pics right now.

While we're at it… shall we strike a matching pose? Like this bat-like pose...What do you think?

Tsumugi: Oh, that's cute! Like this?

Muku: Yep! Perfect!

Izumi: 3...2...1! Say cheese!

Tsumugi: Thank you for letting us join this parade. It was very memorable.

Muku: Same! Please give our thanks to Reni-san.

Shifuto: Sure. We also had fun going on a parade with you two.

Haruto: That aside, we were really planning to beat you up this time around. I never knew someone would get in our way like that.

Well… You helped us a lot more or less.

Muku: I'm also glad Haruto-san was with me!

Haruto: I'm sure there won't be any misconduct next time.

So when the next Veludo Way Halloween comes around, I'm totally gonna beat you up. No more double winners.

Muku: I'll also do my best…!

Shifuto: You could have saved any talks about the next event later. Let's just celebrate our win today.

Tsumugi: Hahaha, but it was so Haruto-kun to say something like that.

< Episode 9 | Masterlist | Epilogue >

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 24 April 1832: SH:7/ML/E/15/0058

8 10

12

- finis morn[in]g F[ahrenheit] 58° on my dress[in]g tab[le] at 8 10/.. - ver[y] lit[tle] poky r[oo]m b[u]t slept pret[ty] well and feel the bet[ter] for it - br[eak]f[a]st at 9 3/4 - wr[ote] a lit[tle] no[te] to L[ad]y S- [Stuart] for Miss H- [Hobart] to gi[ve] on h[e]r arriv[a]l to say I w[oul]d dine w[i]th h[e]r tomor[row] - w[e]nt out at 10 55/.. (alone - too early for Miss H- [Hobart] to venture out in the so m[u]ch cold[e]r sharp[e]r air th[a]n that of Hast[in]gs) - walk[e]d all r[ou]nd the place - to Calvary park - none admitt[e]d b[u]t by a tick[e]t fr[om] the propriet[o]r who nev[e]r refuses it to respectab[le] visit[an]ts - nice place to walk in - sev[era]l neat look[in]g h[ou]ses there - on[l]y 2 of th[e]m to let - then walk[e]d r[ou]nd and g[o]t int[o] the park n[ea]r the houses - w[e]nt int[o] the ch[ur]ch - ver[y] new and neat plain goth[i]c - serv[i]ce at the ti[me] - w[e]nt in for a min[ute] or 2 - w[e]nt int[o] Sharp’s gr[ea]t Tunbridge ware shop n[ea]r Mount Ephraim (on the Lond[on] r[oa]d) the gr[ea]t court end high airy situat[io]n chosen by all who can get there - In the h[ei]ght of the seas[o]n (July Aug[u]st and Sept[embe]r) apart[men]ts are at a guin[ea] a bed per week (i.e. lits de maître) serv[an]ts beds includ[e]d - b[u]t at oth[e]r ti[me]s and ev[e]n May and June a 12 guin[ea] apart[men]t to be h[a]d for 3 or 4 guin[ea]s - gr[ea]t deal of good comp[an]y co[me] for the east[e]r holidays - a fortn[i]ght or 3 weeks that the houses of parliam[en]t do n[o]t sit - bought a playing card case for Miss H- [Hobart] who dad [did] give me a purse got yesterday at Hastings and a little Tunbridge ruler got last night on our arrival -  she said it was the first thing I had given her since the Denouement (that is the offer and acceptance) - It rain[e]d a lit[tle] - walk[e]d b[a]ck al[on]g the fine op[e]n com[mo]n that seems a contin[uan]ce of M[oun]t Ephraim, and intersect[e]d in all direct[io]ns w[i]th walks br[ou]ght me d[o]wn in front of our hot[e]l - then exam[ine]d the Sussex hot[e]l a new, clean, large handso[me] look[in]g h[ou]se - then met Miss H- [Hobart] in the Pantiles now call[e]d parade and took 2 or 3 turns togeth[e]r there and I tast[e]d the spring a ver[y] weak chalybeate at the near end of the parade - s[ai]d I w[a]s qui[te] charm[e]d w[i]th the pl[a]ce and jok[e]d ab[ou]t return[in]g or liv[in]g there or near - It is really one of the prett[ie]st nicest wat[erin]g places I ev[e]r saw - I sh[oul]d ha[ve] no object[io]n to being there w[i]th L[ad]y G- [Gordon] if go[in]g to Fr[an]ce just now is n[o]t qui[te] practicab[le] on acc[oun]t of cholera - our bill at the Roy[a]l Kentish hot[e]l n[o]t sm[all] consid[erin]g our hav[in]g no wine, and our mod[era]te din[ner] and sm[all] r[oo]ms = 40/2. for our 2 selves and my 2 servants - c[oul]d n[o]t surely ha[ve] been dear[e]r at the Sussex, c[oul]d we ha[ve] been tak[e]n in there - Off at 1 40/.. - pret[ty] dri[ve] (5 m[ile]s) to Tunbridge - beaut[iful] dri[ve] fr[om] T- [Tunbridge] to Sevenoaks (pron[nounce]d Senoks [Se..?] ŏks) and ver[y] pret[ty] to the top of Madame’s court hill ab[ou]t 1/2 way bet[ween] 7 oaks and Bromely and fr[om] all along w[hi]ch a fine look d[o]wn (left) on the rich wood[e]d valley bel[ow] - n[o]t so pret[ty] b[u]t still pret[ty] fr[om] this long hill to Bromley a nice lit[tle] vil[lage] or town en[ou]gh - th[e]n beg[a]n to shew of nearness to Lond[on] by crowds of peop[le] and carr[ia]ges - Miss H- [Hobart] s[ai]d it w[a]s Greenwich fair w[hi]ch w[oul]d ma[ke] so[me] diff[eren]ce - at Whitehall at 6 1/2 - L[ad]y S- [Stuart] w[oul]d ha[ve] me go in for a min[ute] or 2, and th[e]refo[re] I d[i]d oth[er]wise it h[a]d been plann[e]d bet[ween] Miss H- [Hobart] and me n[o]t to do so - 10 min[ute]s th[e]re and alight[e]d at 29 Albermale st[ree]t at 6 50/.. - ord[ere]d tea immed[iatel]y, b[u]t h[a]d to wait for it an h[ou]r - amus[e]d mys[elf] w[i]th read[in]g the 2 last Globes - L[ad]y S- [Stuart] look[in]g ver[y] well, and all kind[ne]ss, h[a]d told me how b[a]d the chol[er]a w[a]s in Paris - I sh[oul]d be mad to go th[e]re now - she has ten times more heart than Miss H- [Hobart] and was all kindness wanted me after all to stay dinner offered me her carriage tomorrow  thought she might have or sorry she had not taken me into Whitehall somehow I could scarce keep up at all Miss H- [Hobart] followed me out saying she hoped I should not go and take on so ‘com[e] give me one good kiss?’ I did and so we parted we had not had much conversation in the carriage  but what we had was well enough tho’ the least thing would have made her crossish but I avoided all this  talking of congratulations ssaid she had not had mine except that I had said I was glad  she said ‘oh I know you are both glad and sorry’  she had laughed and said  shall we turn and go back to Hastings  yes ssaid I directly if you will then I joked and said I ought not to have said that but something different  she said she should not have liked it if I had   true thought I she loves the attention and attachment of others  however little she herself may return either  but after all the work I have somehow made at parting and I could not help it yet still she thinks me desolate about her than I am my remembrance of her will soon pass over to what is comfortable  I could not have lived happily with her and the being without will soon cease to pother  I have really been very comfortable all this evening - I ha[ve] a ver[y] nice

SH:7/ML/E/15/0059

handso[me] apart[men]t and am ver[y] comf[orta]ble I fear it will be expensive but I must do as well as I can  I only wish to see Lady Gordon and know my fate with her   till then I must be in doubt wr[ote] all the ab[ov]e of today and h[a]d just done it at 10 10/.. - how forlorn and solitary I might feel but thank God I do not   if I had but a little money I should do  I only fear getting rather beyond myself  Mrs. Hawkins is ill - a chill she g[o]t the oth[e]r day - I hope n[o]t any deg[ree] of chol[er]a w[hi]ch is b[a]d en[ou]gh here - L[or]d Durham’s moth[e]r is just dead of it - well! if I h[a]d made my will to my mind, I feel as if I c[oul]d say in calm[ne]ss, God’s will be done! I ha[ve] liv[e]d long en[ou]gh to be content[e]d to be call[e]d hence whenev[e]r it may be the good pleas[u]re of that provid[en]ce w[hi]ch ordereth all th[in]gs wisely - I h[a]d made up my  mind to go out early in the morn[in]g, and do all my jobs - th[e]re is so[me]th[in]g brok[e]n ab[ou]t the rumble of the carr[ia]ge that I can[no]t ha[ve] it tomor[row] I h[a]d best  perh[aps] sit at ho[me] and be busy ab[ou]t my will - How quiet and tranquil I feel! If I live, may it be for good! If I die soon, how m[u]ch mis[er]y I n[o]t escape! a lit[tle] r[ai]n at Tunbridge wells and a lit[tle] en route at 1st and for so[me]ti[me] aft[er]w[ar]ds - qui[te] fair latter[l]y, b[u]t thickish and foggy ov[e]r Lond[on] and too thick for  good view all the way - F[ahrenheit] 61° now at 10 20/.. in my salon - ca[me] to my r[oo]m at 11 1/2 -

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Hello! :) Here again to drop a Yu-Gi-Oh! ask, because I dreamt about it last night and can't help myself lol I decided to throw in a Seto Kaiba Headcanons request today, if that's okay with you. Some Headcanons about him attempting to win his S/O's heart. I'm wondering how he would go about it! I'll sign my anon asks with this -💙 Don't know if the ask box lets symbols go through, but I'll try! I'm hoping you're having a good day so far! :)

I love you to the moon and back and honestly, thank you so much for sending such adorable YuGiOh requests! Even more, Seto is my YuGiOh crush and this just makes it an infinite times better

And omg yes, that little blue heart is so adorable, I love you so much, please sign yourself that way, dear Blue Heart Anon

Okay Okay, so we’re talking about the most over the top guy in the whole universe, so basically, he will to  A N Y T H I N G  to win your heart over.

And I mean it.

He was extra enough to create and pilot a Blue Eyes White Dragon (BEWD for short) plane, so like 

??? 

There’s no boundary for what he’d invent for you.

I want to say that he’d be super smooth and flirty, but I think we all know he’d choke on his words before he could actually SAY what he’s been rehearsing for so long (despite Mokuba encouraging him) so he’d settle for writing a ton of letters that he’d rip apart and burn because they aren’t perfect enough for you to read and truly understand his feelings.

He’d come to pick you up from home extremely random with his BEWD plane and you’d go to Disneyland just to have fun for hours.

Of course, he’d say that it doesn’t compare to Kaiba Land, but it’s a nice change of scenery.

Also, he won’t admit it too soon, but he loves Disney movies, especially watching them with you and Mokie.

But hear me out, the best part comes right now.

After he finds out more about you, he’s gonna make Disney create a Disney movie after you and him and you will be the super badass Disney Princess that is a hardcore gamer, and he is the Number 1 Gamer Prince and whatever the hell he wants to make.

Of course, after this is done, he will make a special place for Y/N Gamer Corner which is basically a huge gaming area, completely high tech hologram like, just like he did with Duel Monsters, and all your favourite games will be featured and available to play there, be it multiplayer or singleplayer.

Literally a dream come true.

You can’t tell me that he hasn’t already won your heart by now.

I mean, all the effort, the feelings, the imagination and creativity (and money) invested into making your dreams (some that you had no idea you had) come true.

And of course, when your heart bursts out with emotions and you ask him why does he go through all the trouble to make you so happy, instead of using his money to make himself and Mokie happy, he says that you’re family to both of them.

And then he looks away and says that he wants you to be his girlfriend (or that Mokie wants you to be around more often).

Of course, he doesn’t want you to see him blushing, but it’s impossible not to, especially when his face is so perfectly pale and gorgeous.

And of course, you accept, because how could you not, he’s the perfect boyfriend.

Very soon, he gives you a matching trench coat so you can match and be the perfect ( E X T R A as F U C C ) Gamer Couple.

Just like you see Jessie and James in Pokemon, you two stand back to back, showing off how awesome you are, in a generic Protagonist ( JoJo) pose.

And Meow is Mokie, of course, standing in the middle like the little sassy mascot that he is.

Be gentle with this guy though, he’s still learning about how to be a boyfriend, okay?

He’s like “Okay, I did everything, but I didn’t think past this point, so I don’t know what to do.”

He’s already had a tough time learning how to be a Dad/Older Brother for Mokuba and a CEO and literally all professions at once, but being a boyfriend is a bit different, especially since he barely experienced any kind of maternal love or seen what it’s like to allow yourself to show weakness and allow yourself to heal through nurturing and love.

But once he sees that it’s all good, he slowly lets his barriers and walls down and allows you to actually be a girlfriend and with time, he learns how to become a real boyfriend and everything comes naturally.

You’re absolute #CoupleGoalz and everybody envies you.

And obviously, your social media is F U L L is couple pics, super high tech stuff, funny videos, aesthetic pics, travel pics and all the super neat things you get to experience, which is a LOT.

[jakephamm]

Public Health and Social Identities Surgery

When it comes to the digital age, people on social media platforms starting to shape their identities that may or may not differ from their ‘real’ personalities that participate in one larger society. Some aspects from ‘the real world’ are also defined as the digital communities, one of those in Public Health. According to Croner (2003), digital public health involves campaigns and projects launched on social media by KOLs to intervene or promote positive well-being health, this includes well-known campaigns such as Slip! Slop! Slap! To reduce skin cancer among young Australian adults as well as ice bucket challenge to raise awareness about amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) disease.

In these campaigns, of course, celebrities and microcelebrities are pioneers to not only influence their followers but also create and maintain a positive image in front of their public audience. Opposed to traditional celebrities, Marwick (2017) refers to this term as “the state of being well known to a niche group of people, and a practice whereby people present themselves as public personas, create affective ties with audience members, and view followers as fans”. As previously mentioned, the person themselves needs to be who the public wants them to represent so they must adapt and change accordingly to whom they called ‘fans’ or ‘followers’. This leads to my second point, self-branding, Khamis, Ang, and Welling illustrate this as a marketing action that continuously develops and maintain a social media persona’s reputation to influence a group of targeted audience, this is actually what microcelebrities are been doing, to show their personal values and reputation through several tactics and strategies.

One of the most common strategies is visual cosmetic surgery through social media platforms, this involves changing all or parts of the influencers’ identity, characteristics, or sometimes physical appearance to serve their purposes. Let’s take Instagram as our example, these days, we can easily see Instagram models or influencers using filters or editing apps to change how they look to attract more interactions. Furthermore, they can easily attract more potential influencer by posing parts of their body that is barely inappropriate, the fact that they are not afraid to show their body for the sake of building a personal image online. Ironically, microcelebrities always encourage their followers to respect their own body that they should embrace what they have but the thing is microcelebrities are not entirely being honest of what they did and have done to their own bodies.

 Reference

Croner, C (2003), ‘Public Health, GIS, and the Internet’, Annual Review of Public Health, vol. 24, no. 1, pp.57-82.

Khamis, S, Ang, L & Welling, R (2016), ‘Self-branding, ‘micro-celebrity’, and the rise of Social Media Influencers’, Celebrity Studies, vol. 8, no. 2, pp. 191-208.

Marwick, A, (2017), ‘Microcelebrity, Self-Branding, and the Internet’, The Blackwell Encyclopedia of Sociology, pp. 1-3.

[loganelfreeces]

A, C, F, L, R, S, U, X, Y, and Z

I’m assuming this is for the “fanfic author asks”

A. what’s your favourite fandom to write?

Right now it’s Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains, but who knows what it’ll be in the future.

C. what fandom(s) did you start writing?

It’s hard to say which was my first fandom. I think I was writing the Digimon fandom first, plus a good bit of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. I kept intending to write for Bakugan as well, but I never got around to it.

F. canon fics or au?

Both are good, but I think AUs are the best. People can be so creative while still drawing from canon world building or plots.

L. favourite fic of yours?

I think my favorite fic I’ve written is “The Softest End”. It’s a soft post-apocalypse AU where Duel Monsters are real and most cities are full of plants now. I’ve always been fond of a more gentle apocalypse where humans still continue to survive and nothing too traumatic happens. I think we need more gentle apocalypses in this day and age.

R. link your favourite fic of all-time.

“The Ghost of Pandora” by MsBluebell. It’s a canon divergence fic where after the Lost Incident, Ryoken decided to collect and protect the Lost Kids instead of deciding he was wrong to do that. It’s really beautiful and painful and dramatic and I highly recommend it.

S. link your favourite author.

Michevalier. Not only is Michelle a good friend, she’s an amazingly talented author and you guys should really check her out.

U. when did you start writing fanfic? 

It’s kind of hard to say. The first fanfic I wrote, I had my mother write it for me on a cereal box, it was a My Little Pony fanfic. I think I was 8 or something around then. The first fanfiction I ever published was shared when I was 11 or 12ish.

X. give a summary of your current project!

Which one? I have too many! But there is one project I haven’t published yet that I have every intention of sharing soon.

“Shoichi loved his brother more than anything else, so if he had to open up their grandparent’s coffee shop and look after Jin himself to be happy, then so be it. But he never expected to help the other children who went through what his brother suffered.”

Y. what is the title of your current wip?

This particular one doesn’t have a title yet, I’ve just been calling it “Shoichi Accidently Becomes a Dad of 7 Pre-Teens With Issues”.

Z. how to you feel about your wip compared to other works of yours? 

I’m excited about it, but I think I’ll share it once I’ve finished my current WIPs.

Thank you for so many asks, sorry it took a while.

[walkineternity]

Day 3: Delirium

(The Umbrella Academy x Sandman)

Klaus knew he was in trouble.

He had overdosed again. He tried to stay clean, for Ben and Vanya, for his other siblings, and for Dave. He so very much wanted to see Dave.

 But. He tried, okay. Tried so very fucking hard, and everyone was so focussed on Vanya that his efforts weren’t exactly…supported. Ben, of course, knew. And Klaus was grateful to have him. And he didn’t really blame everyone for not paying attention to him. They never really did that in the first place, unless he was causing trouble. And this time, it was because Vanya had nearly ended the world and he got that. He really did. He was trying to be there for them.

 But. He was an addict, okay. He can admit that. And…it was so hard to stay clean. He was so fucking high right now. He was so fucking sick right now. And Ben was yelling at him again.

 “Fuck! I can’t do this again, Klaus! You were doing so well! Fuck! I can’t even pick up the phone to call the ambulance can I! No! You are going to die in this alleyway and then I’m going to have nobody to talk to and, and, and you can’t leave me alone! Please, Klaus, please! Shit, okay, I’m going to try and get help, okay? I’m going to try.”

 Klaus felt himself drift. Ben was still talking, but then suddenly everything was quiet. He didn’t really get how he could still hear Ben with all the drugs in his system, but the other spirits had quieted down. And now, finally, Ben was gone too. He was going to die alone. Like he fucking deserved. His eyes shut, closing over tears that never fell and let the fog take him…

 Next thing he knew there was something licking his face. Okay, still alive. Still dying. Probably. He opened his eyes.

 Well. Where was he? This wasn’t the alleyway anymore. Maybe he wasn’t dying and he was already dead. But this wasn’t heaven. This was…he wasn’t sure. There were explosions of colours and shapes twisting in and out of existence and he felt simultaneously the highest he’s ever been and stone cold sober. He felt like he was awake and dreaming at the same time.

 And in the midst of all this madness, there was a rather ordinary looking dog, who was licking his face.

 “Well, hey there, boy. You wouldn’t happen to know the way back to reality now, would you?”

 He didn’t know what to expect at this point. And yet it still startled him when the dog stopped licking his face and spoke back. “Ah. You’re awake. Good. You don’t taste very good.”

 Klaus frowned. “Actually, I’m a snack. A delicious- wait. I’m…awake.” He sits up and looks around. Nothing was solid. There was no up and no down and he had no clue what he was sitting on because reality kept changing. Okay, he was definitely going crazy. “I don’t think I’m awake.”

 “Hm. Well. In a manner of speaking. And in another, you’re dead.”

 “Huh.”

 “You don’t sound surprised.”

 “Well, I’ve been dead before. And really, I was asking for it anyways.”

 The dog tilted its head, considering him, “I should be more specific. You’re only mostly dead, this time. This isn’t Death’s realm, but her sister’s.”

 “…mostly dead? What am I? The man in black now?” Klaus hadn’t seen the movie until his teens, when he was homeless and couch-surfing. Or rather bed-surfing. And old lover had the movie on VHS.

 “I don’t know what that means.” The dog huffed and then said, “I’m Barnabas, by the way. Not that you asked.”

 “Aw, what an adorable name!” Klaus tried to pet him, but Barnabas looked mildly offended and ducked his head away. He looked like he was about to say something snippy when a bunch of brightly coloured fish swam past his head. Klaus had been trying to ignore his surroundings for the sake of his own sanity, but this caught his attention.

 And then the…strangest voice followed after. “Ohhh, fishies! Come back here! …Hi, Barnabas!” He couldn’t really describe it. He could understand it, and for the most part it sounded like a young women’s voice, but something was distinctly…otherworldly. The voice sounded how this world looked. Chaotic, ever-changing, pitches and stresses in all the wrong places. It would have been called musical, if it wasn’t so discordant.

 And then a figure stepped out of the swirls of colours and then he realised that nothing was ever going to make sense in here. She was colourful herself. Rainbow hair cut in an odd style. Two different coloured eyes and the oddest combination of clothes.

 Though, honestly, he couldn’t say anything about his clothes. Currently, he was sporting the same outfit he wore in the real world and, frankly, wasn’t to off from this figure’s choice of clothes.

 Well, at least they had something in common. “Nice shoes,” he tries.

 The woman (girl? Young lady?) was talking to the dog and the fish, but turned to him at the sound of his voice. She drifted closer and peered down at him.

 “Well, hello there, traveler. You seem a little lost.”

 Klaus shrugged. She giggled. “Welllll, I suppose that’s, uh, that’s what you call life, now, isn’t it? Just a little bit lost and a lot bit lost! Go-ing on Forever!”

 Barnabas came a bit closer to her, to sit beside her, not quite touching, but close. Like he meant to offer her comfort. She absentmindedly scratched his ears, but still didn’t look away from Klaus. Oh, was he supposed to offer a reply?

“Well, I’m hoping that’s not the case. I’ve been trying, lately, you see, to settle down a bit. Stay clean and, y’know, be there for my family. Try to…have a home, a proper one.” His voice grew more unsure as he continued to speak.

 She was staring at him as he spoke, but not in his eyes. Just looking there briefly and then looking at his shirt and then his hair. Listening, but just couldn’t keep completely still. As she did, her nail polish changed colour and her ears changed shape and the rainbow in her hair shifted. This whole place was topsy-turvy. Strange how a talking dog named Barnabas was the sanest thing in here.

 She looked back up briefly into his eyes and then down at her feet. “It’s Nice to do things for fa-mi-ly. I have many Siblings too. I like to help them sometimes. You said I have nice shoes. Would you like to wear them? We can trade!”

 “Um.” Klaus wasn’t really sure what to say. “I don’t think our feet are the same size?”

 She frowned. “Oh, what does that matter? Its just for fuunnn. C’mon!” And she proceeded to take off her shoes. Which, were just as colourful as her hair. Rainbow boots that had really neat buckles shaped like the fish that swam around their heads.

 His were a solid black heel, stolen from Allison. They pinched his toes, not being the proper size, but they made his legs look gorgeous.

 Allison probably wasn’t going to be happy to learn her shoes were traded away, but then again, she probably wasn’t going to be happy with him either way. If he ever made it back, that is.

 He decided he should probably say all that out loud, and then he did, because they really weren’t his shoes, but the girl in front of him just sat down to better take of her shoes. “Oh, you’ll get out of Here eventu-ally. I like you, but you’re not mine to keep.” She finally managed to pull off both her boots. She was wearing mismatched socks, but those seemed to vanish. “And your family is just worried about you. If your sssister is mad, it’s only because she cares. You should ask them for help.”

 He shrugged and easily kicked off his own shoes, accidently kicking it too close to Barnabas. The dog just looked long-suffering.

 “They just think I’m useless and crazy. Well, maybe not Ben, but I’m not exactly doing my best there, y’know? He deserves to follow someone else around. Someone who won’t disappoint him again.”

 The girl hummed. “They say I’m crazzzzy too. But that’s alright. Mad-ness isn’t always a Bad thing….it helps when I know too much. Sometimes its nice to have a break from san-i-ty.” Here she started to slip on the heels and gestured at the boots, so Klaus grabbed one and put it on, stamping a little to get his heel in. Huh. Perfect fit. She continued, “And just because I’m mad, doesn’t mean my siblings don’t care about me. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. We aallll make mistakes, even Beings such as us, even little ones such as you, and we…oh, shoot, Barnabas! What’s the word? The- the Big one.”

 She glanced around as if the word she was looking for would suddenly appear. “You know. When the butterflies are iiiinn your body instead of outside them. Like stepping off the edge of a cliff, but knowing there is Someone to catch you, or for you to catch them.”

 Barnabas opened his mouth to say something, but she snapped her fingers (which made Klaus do a doubletake when the snap sound created visual shockwaves of colour, like they were in some sort of comic book), and then said, “Oh! Love! It’s lo-ve. We all love each other the same. They loved me when I was Delight, and they still love me as Delirium. I mean, look at Bar-na-bas!” She gestured with a heel in her hand. The dog sat a little straighter. “He was a gift to me from one of my bro-thers, to care and look afterrr me, and we’ve become such good friends! Destruction cares in his own way, and I know your siblings do too. You just got-ta….gotta ask, okay?”

 Barnabas smiled slightly. It looked a bit weird on a dog, but it seemed gentle. “I think we are the very best friends, my dear Delirium.”

 She put the other heel on and bounced up onto them, smiling at them both, at the world around them, at the tiny fish swimming above her head. The black of the heels swirled with spots of colour, but mostly stayed the same.

 Klaus finished doing up the buckles on both shoes and stood up too. He reached a hand up and the fish swam through his fingers and around his arm. The rainbow shoes felt warm and comfortable on his feet. He felt a bit giddy. He gave her a big grin and said, “Yeah. Okay. Sure. If I ever manage to get out of here, I’ll ask. Why not!”

 She gave him a grin in return. To match. Though hers stretched a little too far on her face. Still friendly, but not exactly a human smile. Her eyes changed colours too, but never the same colours at the same time. A fish swam in front of her face and this distracted her from him.

 “Well, how do I get out of here anyways? Not that I don’t mind your company, I should be getting back to the real world.”

 She looked back at him and seemed to startle a little bit. “Ohhhh, what were we talking about?”

 He blinked and looked at her and then looked at Barnabas, who said to her, in a reassuring manner, “It wasn’t important. Klaus was leaving soon anyways.”

 “Hm. My he-ad hurts. Was I talking Rightly again? That always Hurts.”

 “Yes, Delirium, but you don’t have to anymore. Why don’t we help Klaus go home and then play with the fish?”

 Klaus frowned at Barnabas in confusion. Delirium laughed joyfully and said, “Well, hell yeah! There’s only a few swimming around, buuuut I can make more!” She proceeded to spin around and do exactly that.

 Barnabas sidled closer to Klaus and said, “She does that, sometimes.”

 “What? Forgets?”

 “No. Remembers. The advice she gave you? How coherent she spoke? Does not happen often. You should take heed. The knowledge she has…is vast. So vast that it seems to…hurt her. Now, it’s time for you to go.” He didn’t say this roughly, but there was a sadness when he spoke.

 “Thanks,” Klaus said, heartfelt. “And thank her for me, too, even if she doesn’t remember.”

 Delirium wandered back over with a great many more fish swimming around, some bigger than others. Some so small he could barely see in the swirl of colours and shapes. “Oh yes! You!” She tapped him firmly on the forehead and said, “Say the magic words!”

 “Um, please-”

 “Wrong, so wrong. Try again.” And here she clicked her new heels three times.

 Klaus couldn’t help it. He laughed. He saw that movie too. And then he copied her action and said the “magic” words, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no pla-”

 And then he was in an ambulance, the paramedic’s expression triumphant and relieved. Ben, hovering over him on the other side, looked similar.

 “Klaus, don’t ever do that to me again. You are so lucky there was this goth lady around. Apparently, you aren’t the only one that can speak to the dead. She was pretty Zen about the whole thing. Said it wasn’t your time and managed to find a nearby payphone. She didn’t even ask why I couldn’t call the ambulance myself!”

 Ben sounded a bit hysterical. The paramedic seemed to be chattering away as he checked Klaus’ vitals. Klaus felt himself tearing up. He could still feel the drugs in his system. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I can’t do this-”

 “C’mon, Klaus! I know you’re stronger- what about Dave-”

 “No, shit, Ben, just- I can’t do this alone, okay? I-I really need. I need help. I want to stay clean. Please. I just- please. I can’t do this alone.”

 The paramedic wasn’t paying attention to his babble, too focussed on actually keeping him alive, but Ben was listening intently. He tried to lay his hand on Klaus’ shoulder, but his hand passed through. Klaus shivered. Ben looked disappointed, but not surprised. He settled for leaning over, close to Klaus’ face, and said, “Never, Klaus. I’m here, okay. And the others…we’ll ask for help from them too. We’re all trying to be a family, right? And….and whatever you need.”

 Klaus felt tears in his eyes and with a rough voice he said, “Thank you, Ben. I always knew you were my favourite brother.”

 Ben rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged the corner of his lips. “Oh, please. I’ll remember that next time you say that to any of our other siblings.”

 “Why would Allison or Vanya be my favourite brother?”

 “Fuck off, you know what I meant.” Okay, definitely a smile now.

 And then Ben happened to glance at his feet. “Klaus, where the hell did you get those?”

 Klaus looked at his feet and saw that he wasn’t wearing Allison’s heels, but rainbow boots. Huh. So not a drug-induced dream.

 “Klaus?”

 “I’ve been thinking, Ben.”

 “Oh no. I didn’t know you could do that.” He gestured at the boots. “Are you not going to answer?”

 Klaus ignored him and stared at the boots. “I’ve been wondering if they might allow aquariums in rehab.”

 Ben stared at him a little. But he was also long used to Klaus saying weird stuff. “Well. If we manage to use some of dad’s fortune for rehab, they’ll allow us as many fish as we want. If…if that’s what you wanted the aquarium for.”

 It was…so fucking nice to hear Ben using “us” and “we” like that. He knew Ben was stuck with him, but it felt…. like he wasn’t alone. That Ben meant it. That he was going to have help this time, from the whole family. And if they used dear old dad’s money…well. That would be icing on the cake. Petty? Yes. Deserved, even beyond the grave? Hell yes. He’s glad that he didn’t have another visit from him. He doesn’t think he could stand anymore revelations or disappointment from him. He’d take a bizarre realm of multi-coloured girls and fish and talking dogs any day.

 Though, he really didn’t want to go back any time soon. Being mostly dead was exhausting.

 “Yeah, Ben, fish. Lots of colourful fish.” His voice sounded further away, like hearing himself through a long tunnel. Klaus could feel his eyes droop closed.

 Ben laughed softly. “Anything you need, Klaus. Have some nice dreams for me, will you?” Klaus’ eyes were closed, but for a flash, he thought he saw someone above him. He couldn’t see features, just a strange helmet and black robes. A pale hand sprinkled shining dust onto him. Onto his closed eyes. And then the figure was gone.

  And he swore, right before he drifted off to sleep, that he felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder. But then again, it could have just been his imagination.

[kawaiigirlgoingghost]

That one time a guys Ghost and Demon gave me more attention than he did- A Storytime

To preface this story- I've been single for 2 years- I do go on dates using tinder from time to time but I knew this dude through friends and he was a genuine dude (he just possessed the personality of wet cat food and is kinda douchey to women due to not being in relationships whatsoever)

I wouldn't just roll up at someones house like this typically and do what I did under most circumstances!

We will call him "Sasuke" b/c I cant think of anything else but Naurto rn ( R*O*C*K*S* )

The story

This story takes place back in beginning of December and I was 21 at the time. I was swiping on tinder one morning and I see Sasuke is on tinder. Last time I had heard something from him is when he spazzed on me for dating someone and I blocked him on snapchat! I swiped on him thinking, "Hes not going to swipe lol" Hahaha I was WRONG. He indeed did and completely forgot he said what he said to me -.- so I was shook and he wanted to hang out that night- at his house. I obviously snapped immediately and asked- "Why are you asking me over to your house? Sasuke we've never hung out!" He flipped and unmatched me. He acts like he does not follow my cosplay account on instagram so I find his page and slide into his DM's. He starts treating me A LOT differently (idk why. I think I was close to 300 followers at that time?? I dont think following should determine how you treat people in my opinion.) He apologized and said he was moving (side note: I still do not know if he did move because I decided the universe was doing me a favor that nice and made sure he was blocked off my private accounts.) I straight up asked Sasuke "So you're alone is what you're saying- in an empty house and you want me to come over?" Of course I'm expecting him to address the obvious red flags popping up- you know an empty house, you're there alone and you want me over? He doesn't and says I'll be fine. A couple people know this dude and in my mind I got this figured out "I'll just leave enough DNA evidence with my hair, shoes, fingerprints, google location like good luck murdering me and getting away with it lol"

It's the best mindset I have towards things and someone who doesn't understand the value of forensic evidence could believe they could get away with such a crime. Also, the thought of dragging my dead body tires me. I assume the killer would get messy anyway b/c ya know. They didnt really sign up for a work out session with murder I guess? I digress

I got over there and I park in the driveway (like I was informed to, I hate just parking in places other people have claimed as there spot yk? So I asked him where like 4 times) So I'm parked and waiting for him to come outside. It's around 5:30/6 during the bigging of winter so the sun is gone and it's dark already. As I'm waiting I'm staring at this home and I'm getting a vibe from it. Unless I see that door open I'm not getting out of my car it's way to dark outside. I'm looking at this house and it's very inviting but when I see him come out hes very starled. So I quickly learn hes scared to be alone at the house by himself not by him telling me but by how hes acting, which he could have said upfront, I'm not a bad person! I'd stay with someone to house sit if they were scared of spirits in their home! I get inside and the house was set up like a split level so you'd walk up the stairs and get to the main level of the home. The first room was like an entry room and it had really pretty paintings in it. I, almost immediately, felt something standing back against the wall staring at him and I. When you walk up the stairs you face the hallway and the kitchen. The feeling was to the left of me, not to the right towards the hallway. This becomes important and relevant information.

Now this spirit, hes a younger looking business man, very attractive if I may add, and hes around 6ft, 6ft 1. I can feel hes taller than me and he is absolutely pissed off. He's not pissed with me and I can feel hes not aiming anything at me, he is, however, annoyed I'm there. I'm now walking through the hallway to his room. He shows me his little step up and stuff, which it's cute and his camera equipment was on point! I heard a knock two doors down but I know he has 2 bigger dogs that he always keeps with him so I guessed he put them two rooms down so they didn't swarm to me coming up the steps. We leave his room and go back down the hallway, he doesn't let them out so I assume hes like, scare they'll hurt me?? We through the kitchen to get to the living room to sit with him and chat. He starts talking about how he's suppose to be getting gumies (the not scooby doo kind so 🚮) from this dude. I'm looking at dude Sasuke like he's stupid. I asked him why he wanted me over so badily if he was waiting for something like that to come. He said he wanted a girl to kiss and then I feel something watching me. I stop him in the middle of his fuck boy bs and ask him if he has family or friends here. He said no, he has a cat and I know he has 2 dogs. I'm like oh okay I love cats and he asks what we should watch. I skeme and make him watch Yu Gi Oh. He leaves me alone off and on for about 2 and half almost 3 hours. His cat kept coming and going which was super cute but I hadn't seen the dogs and safely assumed they were in the room 2 doors down from his bedroom. I could still feel the man in that room, kinda peaking through the doorway to check on me through the opening over the kitchen sink. (the couch was on the other side of it) I was totally fine with that as he wasn't up to anything crazy and I didn't feel like he was going to harm me.

We changed to watching some show I now forget and I had to use the bathroom. He showed me where it was and that was all fine. He went back down the street or whatever he was doing to wait for his gummies. I saw the cats food bowl was in there (relevant I swear) and I do my business and leave out the other door. I went through a bigger bedroom and back out into the hallway. I heard knocking at the door again and told the dogs to calm down and I want back into that little room. This mans spirit was now very upset and I sorta felt for him for whatever reason. I go back into the living room and sit down. The man is now closer, like inside the kitchen staring at me watching tv. I then hear Sasuke come back in and call to me. I follow basically in front of the Invisible Man and into Sasukes room. The man does not follow us through the hallway so I determine hes just keeping an eye on me for some reason. He can see me still b/c I feel him staring. Sasuke sits his gummies on his dresser (this is relevant important information to back up a personal theory) and didnt do anything else but walk back out with me.

I follow him out and I can feel this man growing more upset by the second. I rush through the kitchen into the living room and sit down on the couch furthest away from the opening to the kitchen. Sasuke starts trying to put the moves on me by kissing me and I feel the man come into the room. Hes pissed and feels hurt. I take it as a warning that something's not right and push on Sasuke to stop. I ask him

"Is your house haunted?" The energy from the man almost automatically settled. I got the saddest feeling from the man in the corner. They completely ignore the fact they have a spirit in the home (which in my opinion, if you know for a fact it's not a malevolent spirit you are directly ignoring something a spirit that was human and imo I think its trashy to do. Especially if this spirit does NOTHING BUT EXIST WITH YOU!!! You're basically roommates.)

This spirit was, very obvious to me at least, very upset he wasnt being acknowledged. I think he knew I could feel and see him in a way so he flocked to me. Sasuke sort of stops and gets bug eyed at the same time. He asked why I ask so I tell him.

"I feel something here, hes been watching me." I answered. I wasn't upset or freaked out, but Sasuke was. I remember this vividly due to the fact I've never had anyone freak out on me like this!! The man backed off almost completely when he felt Sasuke getting freaked out so if he ever claims he had a demon in his home at that point: that man didn't want to harm him or me whatsoever. He gets up and starts looking around the room- at the walls, down at the floor and on tables.

At first I was confused at what he was doing but I noticed he was looking at things he sees every day and would have a usual spot it stayed in. He was actively looking for proof of poltergeist activity (imo I never did ask).

He gets done running around and sits back down next to me. He's visibly more calm and relaxed so whatever he was running around for helped I guess? He then starts to tell me he use to play is ipod at night to tall asleep and a spirit would violently rip it off and throw it. Of course, I thought he was exaggerating because the spirits in my home display that activity but only when my mother and I are extremely busy and ignore them so to speak.

They also don't have to use energy to throw things so far, they move things on high shelves while we're in eyesight or make a dish towel fall. They know we respond to more relaxed behavior than more extreme behavior.

I straight up told him that's bs, the man you have seems really okay and you dont even have an ipod dock. He said that was before he moved into another room. I asked him which room he stayed in orginally and he walks me into the hallway and shows me the door. 2nd. From. His. He said he would wake up with scratch marks but I didnt take that at face value until I left. I ask him where his dogs were, while I was here I'd love to give them pets (I love animals yk) he said they were ALREADY AT THE NEW HOUSE WITH HIS MOM.

I told him I was not going to be scammed out of pets and I knew his pup were in there. He asked me had a seen them. I hadn't, obviously, so I took the L and walked back out with him. He then proceeds to tell me the family (mom and uncle I believe) used an Ouija board in the home. I automatically hear a crunching noise behind me and look for his cat. She wasn't where the noise came from. I asked if his cat had food somewhere else? Like in the bigger bedroom. He said no.

Something was trying to make itself known and it wasn't the man. The man knew I felt him and knew I acknowledged him fully, so he wouldnt need to use energy like that to get my full attention. I feel something so heavy now lingering by that door. I told him I dont mess with that, whatever is in here with that man means you harm. I grab my shoes and go into his room to get my purse and then he goes to eat his gummies since I'm leaving. He cant find the 3rd pack and eventually makes me dump my purse out on the floor because he thinks I'd steal it (I don't do drugs but okay) I didnt have it so I started to help him look. He found it deep inside his dresser drawer. I automatically left after that because whatever bad spirit/demon this was wanted me to stay longer than I had to. Imo- something was most definitely trying to delay me from leaving and wanted my attention, which tbh if it's not a good spirit, it's not getting my attention. I felt the mans spirit come near the railing to the steps as I'm walking down while Sasuke was trying to get me to stay, he felt more authoritative like and wanted me to leave. I never really got the chance to thank that kind business man spirit but you are the MVP of the universe let's you see this stuff. Probably working to be angel. I don't forget that night because it's important to note that spirits can be stuck around with a demons/bad spirits and that doesnt mean they hold ill intent for you either!! Whatever sort of darker spirit that is, is attached to hallway or the man doesnt let him venture beyond it. It didn't follow me so I assume it's also stuck to the space!

My ending theory is:

His house has two spirits stuck, a good boy and a bad boy

Hes naturally scared to be alone in the house. He could just not be use to energy like that so take that with a grain of salt

He was activity speaking about poltergeist activity (when you think about this, disregard the movie) he was looking for things moved around or out of place.

He said there was use of an Ouija board so I can come to the conclusion that he may just have a low level demon and a spirit stuck there. I'm pretty sure if it was anything higher it would have fed off his panicked energy and would have done something bigger than crunching. It could also be a really grumpy old man but idk.

The scratch marks don't happen usually from everyday spirits but I do have a story time about that though!

Anyway. Be safe, sometimes your tinder dates are scared to be in there own homes. Anyway until next time~

Kawaiigirlgoingghost out!

[teeztheflag]

─────────────────────

I n n e r e r  D ä m o n (inner demon)

⋆ pairing: demon!seong hwa x reader (poly!ateez)

⋆ genre: demon au, suggestive, crack, smut

⋆ warnings: strong language, smut, dom, scary

⋆ words: 3,100

⋆    „It is cold and already dark outside. You should have dinner with us and then sleep here.“

─────────────────────

„Guys? Are you there?“ You stood in the door step of the grand mansion tingling the keys in your hands.

„(y/n)?“ Seong Hwa came out of the kitchen eying you friendly with a tea in his hand.

„Oh, you’re here. Where are the others?“

Closing the door behind you and getting rid of your shoes the latter gave you a peck on your cheek with a slight grin.

„Library.“

You nodded at him and followed into the kitchen.

Days were getting colder now and your nose immediately picked up the smell of the dish the demon was cooking.

You crouched down in front of the oven to take a peak at what was cooking deliciously inside it.

„Tea?“

You glanced up seeing Seong Hwa already prepared a cup for you. You took it from him with a smile thanking the boy.

„You don’t even want to ask why I am here?“

„No, I am always happy when you come. Don’t need to know the reason.“

You roll your eyes at his cheeky comment and sip from the hot cup.

„Mh, well, I will tell you nonetheless. I originally wanted to ask if some of you wanted to join me pick out a dress for the fall ball.“

„Oh, I would like to help you but I promised the guys that dinner would be ready when they arrive...“

„No problem. I am just too lazy to go by myself. Mind if I join you a little bit?“

„Absolutely not! But for now we have to wait about half an hour so I was really just going to chill on the couch.“

„Okay.“

Soon you found yourself cuddled on the couch and you just couldn’t warm up so Seong Hwa decided to take you into his arms.

You didn’t complain because he was really warm and it was hard to not fall asleep in his arms. From behind you could feel his breath tingling the small hairs of your neck and additionally he just started to massage your shoulders.

It was all too good if there wouldn’t be this bulge pressing into your back that would make you go crazy.

Seong Hwa leans down and kisses your ear which earns him a slight whine from you.

„Why aren’t you sleeping?“

„I-isn’t it obvious?“

You can hear a low chuckle coming from him realizing what you mean. Oops, he couldn’t hold that back.

„I am sorry. We could make something about it by the way...“

You were glad the demon couldn’t see your face because it turned red like a strawberry. Of course Seong Hwa listened to your heart beat that just seemed to increase in speed.

„I don’t think that would be a good idea...“

Seong Hwa sits up and turns your face to him so you’re eye to eye.

„Why not?“

„I don’t k-know...“ Why are you stuttering?

„You don’t find me attractive?“

Was he dumb? Did he look into a mirror from time to time? Right now his hair looked softer than ever and his eyes were as dark as the night. Only you knew if you looked deeper into the dark orbs you could see a galaxy hiding inside it that entrapped you entirely if you looked too long.

His lips looked very inviting while he tried to read your mind.

„(y/n)?“

„What?“

„You just zoned out.“

„Oh, yes. Maybe I should go.“

You took Seong Hwa‘s hands from your face and tried to stand up. The demon stopped you and pulled you down with him again.

„It is cold and already dark outside. You should have dinner with us and then sleep here.“

„No.“

He frowned at you tightening his grip around your wrists that layed above you.

„Or yes?“ A smile emerged on his face and he stood up.

„Dinner should be ready. Will you help me?“

„Of course...“

Well, that wasn’t scary at all.

You help to decorate the table with Seong Hwa and run to the door when you hear the others finally arriving back home.

First boy you see is Hong Joong and you couldn’t hold yourself back to run into his arms and kiss his neck. The boy himself is a little bit confused to find you waiting at their home but quickly engulfs you in his arms, too.

San whistles while taking off his shoes eyeing the scene. „If this isn’t a nice surprise I don’t know.“

Hong Joong takes in your scent humming peacefully into your ear. „What are you doing here, baby?“

You lean back and smile at him lovingly.

„Seong Hwa didn’t let me go.“

Woo Young turns suspicious at this and screams at the older one. „Hyung!“

„What?“

„Mh, Hwa seems to be a little bit out of it.“

Yun Ho takes his brother and inspects him.

„What is it?“

„You seem off, hyung. Thirsty... Well, only a few weeks until the ghosts are coming back to earth. You should calm down and don’t have too much contact with (y/n).“

Jong Ho erupts into laughter. „I would’ve never expected Seong Hwa to be affected!“

„Stop laughing, Jong Ho. This could happen to all of us.“ Hong Joong says while he guides you into the dining part of the living room.

„I am totally fine.“ Seong Hwa blinks a few times and sits down.

„Of course you are.“ Min Gi rolls with his eyes leaving you totally confused. What was going on with Seong Hwa?

„What is with him?“

„When the night of Halloween is around we - “

„Stop! She doesn’t need to know that.“

You eyed them suspiciously. Hong Joong could be such a noob.

You decided to ask one of them later again.

After a hot bath you tiptoed over to the boy’s room you know who couldn’t resist your charm. You slowly opened the door and peaked inside to see where he was. A gasp left you seeing San‘s... bottom. You clasped your palm over your mouth to not let any further sounds leave you.

Of course San could sense someone standing at his door. What he didn’t guess that it would be you who was watching him without a second thought.

He turned around to see who was intruding him after his shower and he nearly doubled over to see you there.

„Perverted kitten.“ His shocked gaze quickly changed into a mischievous one and while fastening the towel around his torso entirely he emerged your form.

You closed the door behind you and turned around to see the demon standing directly in front you noses touching slightly. You take a step back only to hit the door with your back.

„You don’t even know how long I‘ve been waiting for this day. The (y/l/n) (y/n) finally in my room, only the two of us. I am so glad you finally realized how you cannot live without m - “

„San, no, just stop! I am not here for that!“

San pouts at that. To be honest he also thought this could only be too good to be true. Nevertheless he was a little bit sad.

„You’re missing a lot, dear.“

„I am sure of that.“

„So what do you want?“ The boy turns around to get some perfume continuing with his night routine.

„I wanted to ask you something.“

San put away the perfume turning around to face you again and starts to smile.

„Little minx. I won’t tell you anything. Hong Joong can be scary when he’s angry.“

„But San, I need to know. Seong Hwa never behaved this way before and I am just worried about him.“

The boy crouches down in front of you and takes your hands into his own.

„(y/n), you don’t need to worry. Everything’s under control. The only thing you can do is tell us immediately when he behaves strange again.“

„Please, San. What do I do when all of you are behaving this because of Halloween? Then no one can help me so I should be able to safe myself!“

San thinks a few seconds before standing up again and taking a seat next to you on his bed.

„Maybe you’re right... but don’t tell anyone that you know.“

You nod eagerly at the black haired.

„Ehm, so, for us demons the 31st of October is always a very special day. Not only that, the whole month is spiritual. We have something that you could call our inner... demons? They’re more animalistic and especially with the one we adore they can get pretty out of hand.“

„So you’re telling me that the things Seong Hwa did earlier wasn’t really him?“

„No, no! It was him but more like his deepest desires came to the surface. He wasn’t really in control. Sometimes when our inner demon takes control we cannot clearly remember what happened in during that time.“

„Oh, but, he wouldn’t hurt me, right?“

„Of course not! We would never hurt you. I mean our demons are all very different but U don’t think anyone of them would harm you in any way.“

„If you say so I believe you. Then thanks San!“ You giggle and kiss him on his cheek as a reward before leaving his room to get into bed on your own.

San watches you leaving him with a frown on his face. He really hopes none of their demons would accidentally hurt you.

After your night routine you snuggle into your bed and start to watch a few videos on your phone before turning off the light. Sleep doesn’t come easily to you because of the thoughts about their ‚inner demons‘ keeping you awake.

Luckily Hong Joong’s room was next to you and if something happened he would hopefully awake by it. Turning around you faced the moon that lightened the room a little bit and after a few minutes watching it your eyes closed.

You felt something touching your bare legs and in between thinking it was still a dream you became fully aware of that you should open your eyes immediately.

You shrieked up and could’ve peed yourself at the dark silhouette over your body. You wanted to scream and trash around but instead nothing came out of your mouth and like an instinct your tried to punch the intruder who easily caught your fist in the air.

Leaning forward you also realized still dizzy from the sleep that it was Seong Hwa who smirked at you mischievously.

„Tsk, not bad.“

Oh god. His tone sounded way darker than usual and you could also see his orbs colored in a crimson you’ve never seen before. You gulped and tried to get your hand back from him but he moved it down so it was placed up above your head into the cushions.

This also caused you to lay down in the process and the demon to linger above you.

„S-Seong Hwa?“ Your voice sounded hoarse and barely louder than a whisper but the demon could understand you perfectly.

And he frowned.

With a swift move he grabbed for your other wirst and pinned it above you, too. He leaned down and went for your neck to take a good smell of your scent.

„I am not Seong Hwa, my love. My name is... Hwa Seong and we weren’t introduced yet.“

He gave you a big gummy smile and you shuddered at the strong grip he had on your wrists that slowly turned numb.

„You, you you are Seong Hwa‘s inner demon!“

„I am. The whole day I fought to finally meet you officially. Seong Hwa‘s always such a drag for not letting me out to fulfill his desires.“

„His d-desires?“

Seong Hwa‘s or wait? Hwa Seong‘s eyes turned into crescents and you could see little fangs adorning his teeth at how happily he smiled at you.

Suddenly he starts to place an opened mouthed kiss on your collarbone to which you cannot hold yourself back to shamelessly react with a whine and a move of your hips upwards.

Hwa Seong looks at you again with pride and let’s go of your wrist to place his hand under your chin.

„Tell me, my love. Secretly you want us, right? You always act so innocent but I know what you want.“

E-excuse me? You don’t like how this develops right now.

„Pff, I want nothing.“

His grip on your chin tightens which turns into a slight pleasant pain and your body feels like you just rode a roller coaster.

„I will ask you again and if you lie to me one more time it will have consequences.“ Hwa Seong says through gritted teeth and you really don’t know how far the demon would go so you calm yourself down and slowly nod at him.

„Do you find me hot?“

You nod again.

He smirks arrogantly and leans back so he’s in a sitting position on your body. You wonder what he is about to do and immediately look away when he takes off his shirt to reveal his upper body.

He tosses the shirt away and watches you with a smug look.

„No need to be shy. Look at me.“

There was no doubt he was utterly nice looking but still you were just too shy to check someone’s body out when he was right in front you. More like on you...

He takes your trembling hands and guides them up to his stomach. His skin feels hot and you wonder it it’s because of his demon form right now.

„You like that?“

You just cannot hold yourself back and snap at him. „Are we done here? I want to get back to sleep!“

Hwa Seong looks at you confused and starts to laugh out really loud at your reaction.

After a few seconds he calms down and looks at you without saying a word. You slowly become restless and want to get out of the situation.

Of course you were also a girl with needs and stuff and he was so hot and practically screamed jump on me and ride me the whole night but - and that’s really important for you - Hwa Seong intimidated you like shit and you wouldn’t want to do something Seong Hwa wouldn’t want because in the end it was still his body, too.

„You’re funny, (y/n). I can see why we have chosen you.“

Suddenly his aura turns darker and he seems to become more angry.

„But you have to behave my love. I have to teach you a lesson naughty girl. You know what I will do to you now?“

„What?“ You are scared as hell because you still didn’t know how to function with Hwa Seong and maybe your words weren’t very wise to begin with.

He leans down so your noses are touching and he breathes out before catching his breath. He seems - excited?

„I will fuck you into the mattress so hard you won’t be able to walk for a week.“

Dafuq this guy. He really just said that, right?

„But - “

„No buts! Apparently I will have to make you shut up, too... But before that how many orgasms are you able to take? Because I will give you way more for punishment.“

„H-hwa Seong, please don’t - “

Ok, your body definitely says yes and also your mind but you know you should stop him. You really should... but his hands are everywhere and your eyes are already closed when you feel his hand grabbing one of your boobs with a tight grip which earns him a moan and arch of your back for him.

The demon groans out very happy with your reaction but the pleasure stops instantly when he’s pulled back from you by Jong Ho and Min Gi.

„You idiots! Let go of me!“ Hwa Seong is struggling with the boys holding him down and Hong Joong and Yeo Sang run to you looking up your body for any marks or signs of mistreatment.

„Are you ok?“ Hong Joong holds your face with his hands looking very concerned.

„I - I am...“ Yeo Sang takes one of your hands and sees the marks on your wrists his eyes turning into a dangerous color.

„You’re not.“

„It is okay, I swear! He just pinned me down but it’s nothing.“

„It’s not nothing, baby. I am sorry I didn’t hear you sooner...“ Hong Joong‘s face is filled with regret and you still in a bliss move to take him into your arms seeking for his warmth and safety.

„How cute.“

„Shut up, Hwa Seong! Let Seong Hwa come back...“

„Why are you angry with me? She’s also in need of some satisfaction and you all cannot see it because you’re treating her like a porcelain stature.“

„You talk some shit. Just fuck off!“

Woo Young crouches down in front of the demon and grins. „I know it’s not really healthy but I will give Seong Hwa the serum to hold you back for a long time if you don’t go away this instant.“

Hwa Seong rolls with his eyes and if looks could kill Woo Young would be dead.

„Okay, okay. My love, I will come back and make my words come true - just so you know...“ He winks at you and suddenly collapses into Min Gi‘s lap.

Yeo Sang turns to you with a confused gaze. „What does he mean with that?“

Thankfully it was still quite dark in the room so they couldn’t see your blush.

Don’t think about. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about or he will read your mind anyways.

„It’s okay, you don’t have to answer and I won’t read it.“ Yeo Sang smiles at you leaving - of course - the others confused like always because Yeo Sang‘s voice was only in your head.

„It would be better you would sleep with someone for the rest of the night. Preferred not Seong Hwa of course.“

„Me!“ Yun Ho walks over to your bed and lifts you up like you weighed nothing. Before the others could protest he already was out of the door and on his way to his own bedroom.

„Don’t worry, (y/n). I will take care of you.“

He smiles at you lovingly and you grin back at him.

„I know. Good night Yun Ho!“

After a few seconds Yun Ho snuggles up from behind and puts his arm around your waist.

„You’re lucky I am not like Hwa Seong. Ho Yun would never hurt our precious baby.“

Your eyes open wide and you gulp.

Please no!

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↺ back to navi

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[libraryofwar]

THE UNTOLD TRUE STORY OF MAD DOG SHRIVER: 

Mad Dog led dozens of covert missions into Laos & Cambodia until his luck ran out. By Maj. John L. Plaster, USAR (Ret.) 

There undoubtedly was not a single recon man in SOG more accomplished or renowned than Mad Dog Shriver. Mad Dog! In the late 1960s, no Special Forces trooper at Ft. Bragg even breathed those top-secret letters, "S-O-G," but everyone had heard of the legendary Studies and Observations Group Green Beret recon team leader, Sergeant First Class Jerry Shriver, dubbed a "mad dog" by Radio Hanoi.

It was Jerry Shriver who'd spoken the most famous rejoinder in SOG history, radioing his superiors not to worry that NVA forces had encircled his tiny team. "No, no," he explained, "I've got 'em right where I want 'em — surrounded from the inside." Fully decked out, Mad Dog was a walking arsenal with an imposing array of a sawed-off shotgun or suppressed submachine gun, pistols, knives, and grenades. 

"He looked like Rambo," First Sergeant Billy Greenwood thought. Blond, tall and thin, Shriver’s face bore chiseled features around piercing blue eyes. "There was no soul in the eyes, no emotion," thought SOG Captain Bill O’Rourke. "They were just eyes." By early 1969, Shriver was well into his third continuous year in SOG, leading top secret intelligence gathering teams deep into the enemy’s clandestine Cambodian sanctuaries where he’d teased death scores of times. 

Unknown to him, however, forces beyond his control at the highest levels of government in Hanoi and Washington were steering his fate. The Strategic Picture Every few weeks of early 1969, the docks at Cambodia's seaport of Sihanoukville bustled with East European ships offloading to long lines of Hak Ly Trucking Company lorries. Though ostensibly owned by a Chinese businessman, the Hak Ly Company's true operator was North Vietnam's Trinh Sat intelligence service. 

The trucks’ clandestine cargo of rockets, small-arms ammunition and mortar rounds rolled overnight to the heavily jungled frontier of Kampong Cham Province just three miles from the border with South Vietnam, a place the Americans had nicknamed the Fishhook, where vast stockpiles sustained three full enemy divisions, plus communist units across the border inside South Vietnam — some 200,000 foes. 

Cambodian Prince Sihanouk was well aware of these neutrality violations; indeed, his fifth wife, Monique, her mother and half-brother were secretly peddling land rights and political protection to the NVA; other middlemen were selling rice to the NVA by the thousands of tons. Hoping to woo Sihanouk away from the communists, the Johnson Administration had watched passively while thousands of GIs were killed by communist forces operating from Cambodia, and not only did nothing about it, but said nothing, even denied it was happening. And now, each week of February and March 1969, more Americans were dying than lost in the Persian Gulf War, killed by NVA forces that struck quickly then fled back to "neutral” Cambodia. 

Combined with other data, SOG's Cambodian intelligence appeared on a top-secret map which National Security Adviser Henry Kissinger studied aboard Air Force One at Brussels airport the morning of 24 February 1969. Sitting with Kissinger was Colonel Alexander Haig, his military assistant, while representing the president was White House Chief of Staff H.R. "Bob" Haldeman. During the new administration's transition, President Nixon had asked Kissinger to determine how to deal with the Cambodian buildup and counter Hanoi's "fight and talk" strategy. 

While President Nixon addressed NATO's North Atlantic Council, those aboard Air Force One worked out details for a clandestine U.S. response: The secret bombing of Cambodia's most remote sanctuaries, which would go unacknowledged unless Prince Sihanouk protested. When Air Force One departed Brussels, Kissinger briefed President Nixon, who approved the plan but postponed implementing it. Over the coming three weeks, Nixon twice warned Hanoi, "we will not tolerate attacks which result in heavier casualties to our men at a time that we are honestly trying to seek peace at the conference table in Paris." The day after Nixon's second warning, the NVA bombarded Saigon with 122mm rockets obviously smuggled through Cambodia. 

Three days later, Nixon turned loose the B-52s on the Fishhook, the first secret Cambodian raid, which set off 73 secondary explosions. A Special SOG Mission Not one peep emanated from Phnom Penh or Hanoi and there was a fitting irony: For four years the North Vietnamese had denied their presence in Cambodia, and now, with U.S. bombs falling upon them, they could say nothing. 

Nixon suspended further B-52 strikes in hopes Hanoi's negotiators might begin productive discussions in Paris, but the talks droned on pointlessly. To demonstrate that America, too, could "talk and fight," President Nixon approved a second secret B-52 strike, this time against a target proposed by General Creighton Abrams with Ambassador Bunker's endorsement: COSVN, the Central Office for South Vietnam, the almost mythical Viet Cong headquarters which claimed to run the whole war. 

An NVA deserter had pinpointed the COSVN complex 14 miles southeast of Memot, Cambodia, in the Fishhook, just a mile beyond the South Vietnamese border. The COSVN raid was laid on for 24 April. Apprised of the upcoming B-52 strike, Brigadier General Philip Davidson, the MACV J2, thought that instead of just bombing COSVN, a top-secret SOG raiding force should hit the enemy headquarters as soon as the bombs stopped falling. 

He phoned Colonel Steve Cavanaugh, Chief SOG, who agreed and ordered the Ban Me Thuot-based Command and Control South, CCS, to prepare a Green Beret-led company of Montagnard mercenaries for the special mission. At CCS, the historic COSVN raid fell upon its most accomplished man, that living recon legend, Mad Dog Shriver, and Captain Bill O'Rourke. 

Though O'Rourke would command the company-size raiding force, Shriver equally would influence the operation, continuing an eight-month collaboration they’d begun when they ran recon together. Mad Dog — the Man and the Myth 

There was no one at CCS quite like Mad Dog Shriver. Medal of Honor recipient Jim Fleming, who flew USAF Hueys for SOG, found Shriver, "the quintessential warrior-loner, anti-social, possessed by what he was doing, the best team, always training, constantly training." Shriver rarely spoke and walked around camp for days wearing the same clothes. In his sleep he cradled a loaded rifle, and in the club he'd buy a case of beer, open every can, then go alone to a corner and drink them all. Though he'd been awarded a Silver Star, five Bronze Stars, and the Soldiers Medal, the 28-year-old Green Beret didn’t care about decorations. 

But he did care about the Montagnard hill tribesmen, and spent all his money on them, even collected food, clothes, whatever people would give, to distribute in Yard villages. He was the only American at CCS who lived in the Montagnard barracks. "He was almost revered by the Montagnards," O'Rourke says. 

Shriver's closest companion was a German shepherd he'd brought back from Taiwan which he named Klaus. One night Klaus got sick on beer some recon men fed him and crapped on the NCO club floor; they rubbed his nose in it and threw him out. 

Shriver arrived, drank a beer, removed his blue velvet smoking jacket and derby hat, put a .38 revolver on a table, then dropped his pants and defecated on the floor. "If you want to rub my nose in this," he dared, "come on over." Everyone pretended not to hear him; one man who'd fed Klaus beer urged the Recon Company commander to intervene. The captain laughed in his face. "He had this way of looking at you with his eyes half-open," recon man Frank Burkhart remembers. "If he looked at me like that, I'd just about freeze." 

Shriver always had been different. In the early 1960s, when Rich Ryan served with him in the 7th Army's Long Range Patrol Company in Germany, Shriver’s buddies called him "Digger" since they thought he looked like an undertaker. As a joke, his LRRP comrades concocted their own religion, "The Mahoganies," which worshipped a mahogany statue. "So we would carry Shriver around on an empty bunk with a sheet over him and candles on the corners," recalled Ryan, "and chant, 'Maaa-haa-ga-ney, Maaa-haa-ga-ney.' Scared the hell out of new guys." Fleming says Shriver "convinced me that for the rest of my life I would not go into a bar and cross someone I didn't know." But no recon man was better in the woods. "He was like having a dog you could talk to," O'Rourke explained. "He could hear and sense things; he was more alive in the woods than any other human being I've ever met." 

During a company operation on the Cambodian border Shriver and an old Yard compatriot were sitting against a tree, O'Rourke recalled. "Suddenly he sat bolt upright, they looked at each other, shook their heads and leaned back against the tree. I'm watching this and wondering, what the hell's going on? And all of a sudden these birds flew by, then a nano-second later, way off in the distance, 'Boom-boom!' -- shotguns. They'd heard that, ascertained what it was and relaxed before I even knew the birds were flying." Shriver once went up to SOG’s Command and Control North for a mission into the DMZ where Captain Jim Storter encountered him just before insert. "He had pistols stuck everywhere on him, I mean, he had five or six .38 caliber revolvers." Storter asked him, "Sergeant Shriver, would you like a CAR-15 or M-16 or something? 

You know the DMZ is not a real mellow area to go into." But Mad Dog replied, "No, them long guns'll get you in trouble and besides, if I need more than these I got troubles anyhow." Rather than stand down after an operation, Shriver would go out with another team. "He lived for the game; that's all he lived for," Dale Libby, a fellow CCS man said. 

Shriver once promised everyone he was going on R&R but instead sneaked up to Plei Djerang Special Forces camp to go to the field with Rich Ryan's A-Team. During a short leave stateside in 1968, fellow Green Beret Larry White hung out with Shriver, whose only real interest was finding a lever action .444 Marlin rifle. 

Purchasing one of the powerful Marlins, Shriver shipped it back to SOG so he could carry it into Cambodia, "to bust bunkers," probably the only lever gun used in the war. And the Real Jerry Shriver Unless you were one of Mad Dog's close friends, the image was perfect prowess -- but the truth was, Shriver confided to fellow SOG Green Beret Sammy Hernadez, he feared death and didn't think he'd live much longer. 

He'd beat bad odds too many times, and could feel a terrible payback looming. "He wanted to quit," Medal of Honor winner Fred Zabitosky could see. "He really wanted to quit, Jerry did. I said, 'Why don't you just tell them I want off, I don't want to run any more?' He said he would but he never did; just kept running." The 5th Special Forces Group executive officer, Lieutenant Colonel Charlie Norton, had been watching SOG recon casualties skyrocket and grew concerned about men like Mad Dog whose lives had become a continuous flirtation with death. Norton went to the 5th Group commander and urged, "Don't approve the goddamn extensions these guys are asking for. You approve it again, your chances of killing that guy are very, very good." But the group commander explained SOG needed experienced men for its high priority missions. "Bullshit," Norton snapped, "you're signing that guy's death warrant." 

Eventually 5th Group turned down a few extensions but only a very few; the most experienced recon men never had extensions denied. Never. "Mad Dog was wanting to get out of recon and didn't know how," said recon team leader Sonny Franks, though the half-measure came when Shriver left recon to join his teammate O’Rourke’s raider company. And now the COSVN raid would make a fitting final operation; Shriver could face his fear head-on, charge right into COSVN’s mysterious mouth and afterward at last call it quits. Into COSVN’s Mouth The morning of 24 April 1969, while high-flying B-52s winged their way from distant Guam, the SOG raider company lined up beside the airfield at Quan Loi, South Vietnam, only 20 miles southeast of COSVN's secret lair. 

But just five Hueys were flyable that morning, enough to lift only two platoons; the big bombers could not be delayed, which meant Lieutenant Bob Killebrew's 3rd Platoon would have to stand by at Quan Loi while the 1st Platoon under First Lieutenant Walter Marcantel, and 2nd Platoon under First Lieutenant Greg Harrigan, raided COSVN. Capt. O'Rourke and Mad Dog didn't like it, but they could do nothing.* Nor could they do anything about their minimal fire support. 

Although whole waves of B52s were about to dump thousands of bombs into COSVN, the highly classified Cambodian Rules of Engagement forbad tactical air strikes; it was better to lose an American-led SOG team, the State Department rules suggested, then leave documentable evidence that U.S. F4 Phantoms had bombed this "neutral" territory. It was a curious logic so concerned about telltale napalm streaks or cluster bomb fins, but unconcerned about B-52 bomb craters from horizon to horizon. Chief SOG Cavanaugh found the contradiction "ridiculous," but he could not change the rules. 

The B-52 contrails were not yet visible when the raiding force Hueys began cranking and the raiders boarded; Capt. O'Rourke would be aboard the first bird and Shriver on the last so they'd be at each end of the landing Hueys. As they lifted off for the ten-minute flight, the B-52s were making final alignments for the run-in. Minutes later the lead chopper had to turn back because of mechanical problems; O'Rourke could only wish the others Godspeed. 

Command passed to an operations officer in the second bird who'd come along for the raid, Captain Paul Cahill. Momentarily the raiders could see dirt geysers bounding skyward amid collapsing trees. Then as the dust settled a violin-shaped clearing took form and the Hueys descended in-trail, hovered for men to leap off, then climbed away. Then fire exploded from all directions, horrible fire that skimmed the ground and mowed down anyone who didn’t dive into a bomb crater or roll behind a fallen tree trunk. 

From the back of the LZ, Mad Dog radioed that a machinegun bunker to his left-front had his *(Greg Harrigan and I had been boyhood friends in northeast Minneapolis.) men pinned and asked if anyone could fire at it to relieve the pressure. Holed up in a bomb crater beneath murderous fire, Capt. Cahill, 1st Lt. Marcantel and a medic, Sergeant Ernest Jamison, radioed that they were pinned, too. Then Jamison dashed out to retrieve a wounded man; heavy fire cut him down, killing him on the spot. No one else could engage the machinegun that trapped Shriver's men -- it was up to Mad Dog. Skittish Yards looked to Shriver and his half-grin restored a sense of confidence. Then they were on their feet, charging -- Shriver was his old self, running to the sound of guns, a True Believer Yard on either side, all of them dashing through the flying bullets, into the treeline, into the very guts of Mad Dog's great nemesis, COSVN. And Mad Dog Shriver was never seen again. 

The Fight Continues At the other end of the LZ, Jamison's body lay just a few yards from the crater where Capt. Cahill heard bullets cracking and RPGs rocking the ground. When Cahill lifted his head, an AK round hit him in the mouth, deflected up and destroyed an eye. Badly wounded, he collapsed. In a nearby crater, young Lt. Greg Harrigan directed helicopter gunships whose rockets and mini-guns were the only thing holding off the aggressive NVA. 

Already, Harrigan reported, more than half his platoon were killed or wounded. For 45 minutes the Green Beret lieutenant kept the enemy at bay, then Harrigan, too, was hit. He died minutes later. Bill O'Rourke tried to land on another helicopter but his bird couldn't penetrate the NVA veil of lead. Lieutenant Colonel Earl Trabue, their CCS Commander, arrived and flew overhead with O’Rourke but they could do little. Hours dragged by. Wounded men laid untreated, exposed in the sun. 

Several times the Hueys attempted to retrieve them and each time heavy fire drove them off. One door gunner was badly wounded. Finally a passing Australian twin-jet Canberra bomber from No. 2 Squadron at Phan Rang heard their predicament on the emergency radio frequency, ignored the fact it was Cambodia, and dropped a bombload which, O’Rourke reports, "broke the stranglehold those guys were in, and it allowed us to go in." Only 1st Lt. Marcantel was still directing air, and finally he had to bring ordnance so close it wounded himself and his surviving nine Montagnards. 

One medic ran to Harrigan's hole and attempted to lift his body out but couldn't. "They were pretty well drained physically and emotionally," O'Rourke said. Finally, three Hueys raced in and picked up 15 wounded men. Lieutenant Dan Hall carried out a radio operator, then managed to drag Lt. Harrigan's body to an aircraft. Thus ended the COSVN raid. A Time for Reflection Afterward Chief SOG Cavanaugh talked to survivors and learned, "The fire was so heavy and so intense that even the guys trying to [evade] and move out of the area were being cut down." It seemed almost an ambush. "That really shook them up at MACV, to realize anybody survived that [B-52] strike," Col. Cavanaugh said. 

The heavy losses especially affected Brig. Gen. Davidson, the MACV J-2, who blamed himself for the catastrophe. "General," Chief SOG Cavanaugh assured him, "if I'd have felt we were going to lose people like that, I wouldn't have put them in there." It’s that ambush-like reception despite a B-52 strike that opens the disturbing possibility of treachery and, it turns out, it was more than a mere possibility. 

One year after the COSVN raid, the NSA twice intercepted enemy messages warning of imminent SOG operations which could only have come from a mole or moles in SOG headquarters. It would only be long after the war that it became clear Hanoi’s Trinh Sat had penetrated SOG, inserting at least one high ranking South Vietnamese officer in SOG whose treachery killed untold Americans, including, most likely, the COSVN raiders. Of those raiders, Lt. Walter Marcantel survived his wounds only to die six months later in a parachuting accident at Ft. Devens, Mass., while Capt. Paul Cahill was medically retired. 

Eventually, Green Beret medic Ernest Jamison's body was recovered. But those lost in the COSVN raid have not been forgotten. Under a beautiful spring sky on Memorial Day, 1993, with American flags waving and an Army Reserve Huey strewing flower petals as it passed low-level, members of Special Forces Association Chapter XX assembled at Lt. Greg Harrigan’s grave in Minneapolis, Minn. 

Before the young lieutenant’s family, a Special Forces honor guard placed a green beret at his grave, at last conferring some recognition to the fallen SOG man, a gesture the COSVN raid’s high classification had made impossible a quarter-century earlier. 

Until now, neither Harrigan’s family nor the families of the other lost men knew the full story of the top secret COSVN raid. But the story remains incomplete. As in the case of SOG’s other MIAs, Hanoi continues to deny any knowledge of Jerry Shriver. Capt. O'Rourke concluded Mad Dog died that day. "I felt very privileged to have been his friend," O’Rourke says, "and when he died I grieved as much as for my younger brother when he was killed. Twenty-some-odd years later, it still sticks in my craw that I wasn't there. I wish I had been there." 

There remains a popular myth among SOG veterans, that any day now Mad Dog Shriver will emerge from the Cambodian jungle as if only ten minutes have gone by, look right and left and holler, "Hey! Where’d everybody go?" Indeed, to those who knew him and fought beside him, Mad Dog will live forever. (This article is derived from Maj. Plaster’s book, SOG: The Secret Wars of America’s Commandos in Vietnam, published by Simon & Schuster.)

[acaseforpencils]

Sam Gross.

© Copyright, 1970, S. Gross. Buy this print here! 

A couple of years ago, I was eating lunch with Sam and a bunch of the usual Pergola crowd, and we were talking about interviews. I hadn’t started A Case for Pencils at that time, but I had been thinking about how to go about it. Sam told me that the thing about interviews is that they are basically finished before they start, because the interviewer already knows how they are going to portray you, even before they talk to you. With that in mind, when I finally got around to creating this blog, I decided to go with a survey format. I wanted to do right by cartoonists, and allow them to be the funny, kind, and articulate people that they are, without my bungling things up! Ironically, this interview was done over the phone, so I hope I did right by Sam!

I recommend listening to the below audio clip of our phone call, wherein Sam talks about the difference between drawing funny and funny drawing, before you read this interview, because he is an inimitable storyteller, and I want you to be able to read it in his voice. —Jane Mattimoe 

From L to R: Sam Gross, Jane Mattimoe (me/A Case for Pencils), Mort Gerberg, Sidney Harris. The original photo (on the photographed ipad) was taken by Sam’s daughter, Michelle, at Pergola des Artistes in 2016. 

Sam: I always wanted to be a cartoonist, and at age six I drew what was possibly a cartoon, on my desk. My first grade teacher was Mrs Levy, and I guess she was my first editor, because she had my mother come in with Kirkman industrial soap, and we had to erase my cartoon from the desk. So, I knew what I wanted to do at a very early age.

Jane: You're lucky.

Sam: Yes, I am. I am very lucky. My wife was a vocational guidance counselor —she's retired now. She didn't have to do too much with me.

Jane: I read somewhere that you started cartooning in 1962. Was it actually earlier than that?

Sam: I was drawing before that, and I had one cartoon that was published in Saturday Review in 1953 when I was still in college. I was doing stuff for the school newspaper— actually very little because Morty Gerberg had a lot on that, and I finally got two weeks in when he was off on something or the other... Morty and I went to the same school, CCNY Baruch... I would say professionally, it was a little bit earlier [than 1962]. I was drawing and getting published in Europe, in France and in Germany, prior to that. We were there in ‘60-61. I began in earnest back here in 1962. That's when I started earning an income on it. 

Actually, the first year I earned $985 in change, and my big client was actually— and I wasn't doing any drawing... I was coming up ideas— but a greeting card company in Brooklyn called Charmcraft. So, then of course, after the first year I did better.

Jane: You were in the military, right? I know George [Booth] got his start in Leatherneck. Did you do anything like that?

Sam: Oh yeah, as a matter of fact, in the military I was doing cartoons for the HAC Post—Headquarters Area Command — which, I was stationed in Heidelberg, but the newspaper was in Mannheim... and from that I did a book, Cartoons for the GI, which sold very, very well. I was getting statements every month, and I was making more than my Commanding Officer, which pissed him off tremendously. Yeah, I forgot about that book.

Jane: I remember you told me that someone in the military told you that you'd never be able to get a job.

Sam: Yeah, that was my Commanding Officer. He didn't recommend me for the Good Conduct Medal. He said to me— I was leaving the army by that time—and he said, “Nobody's ever going to hire you. You'll never have a job.” And he was right.

Actually, I did work in a legitimate job for six months... and I also...I guess I got a legitimate paycheck at work, you know, like I would have to file a W2 for... When I was first with that job, which actually was as an accountant, and then the other one was—which you can’t call full employed— which was when I was teaching at Pratt three semesters. I would get a paycheck there, but other than that, it’s been freelancing.

Jane: Wow! So let's see, you’ve been published everywhere of note, written a lot of books, and you were also the cartoon editor of The National Lampoon...

Sam: I was, yeah.

Jane: Did your time as a cartoon editor affect your process as a cartoonist? I mean, did it change how you viewed cartooning?

Sam: No. When you’re a cartoon editor, the only way it affects it is the audience and the direction the magazine is going. I also was cartoon editor at Smoke magazine, and for a very brief time, Parents magazine. Now I’m not gonna go to Parents magazine and try to get a National Lampoon cartoon in there. The only way it’s affected me is by basically the market of the magazine—not the quality of drawing or the writing—but basically I had in mind the readership of these particular magazines.

My well-worn copy of one of Sam’s classic cartoon collections.

Jane: What tools do you use to make your cartoons?

Sam: I use two old Rapidograph pens, a two and a half and a one. They’re color coded— blue and brown. I actually don't think it’s very important what your tools are as long as you’re doing this thing. I know a number of young cartoonists think that there’s something magical in a particular tool, whatever it is. You work with what you’re comfortable in.

On one occasion, and this was at Saturday Evening Post, a young kid wanted the secret for how to do this thing. He thought the secret was embedded in your tools, so he asked around, “What paper do you use? What pens do you use?” So he asked this guy, John Elcik, who was a cartoonist at the AP, Associated Press, and he asked him, “What kind of ink do you use?” And John answered with a very straight face, “Higgens Gag Ink,” and nobody corrected him because this kid was a real noodge. So it’s a running gag now, with “Higgens Gag Ink,” because it’s so ridiculous to get involved in the tools of this thing. You do what works. And you let go what doesn’t work. Brian Savage, who was living across the street from me on 3rd avenue was drawing with brush and lamp black, and he said “Oh you have to try it!” I tried it, and I was miserable. After a day and a half I figured, this ain’t for me. There are people who instead of working with a pen, they work with a brush. I can’t work with a brush.

I’m working with these busted Rapidographs because they are drafting pens, basically. I’ve learned how to put pressure... alleviate pressure...so I can vary the line with this thing. What I have done since Rapidograph has discontinued this line of pens, and they now have cartridge pens, is... there’s this guy in Pennsylvania... Connecticut rather, who deals in antique pens, and I got enough points and enough pens... cartridges that hold the points... I guess to last me for the rest of my life. I did it just in case they decided to change the pens, which they did.

Jane: I’ve talked to so many cartoonists who are mourning the loss of this Rapidograph pen, Like Marisa [Acocella] goes on Ebay to search for them.

Sam: I’m going to see Marisa tomorrow, and I’ll let her know about this guy.

© Copyright, 1998, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Sam: I was in Paris, and I wasn’t taking my Rapidographs, because I don’t know where and how I have to clean these things, so I went into this art supply store, and they had a sale on Staedtler pens, and I asked the lady there—because France, and pretty much Europe, is not known for fantastic sales on art supplies— so I asked, “Why is Staedtler  being so good to me?” and she said, of course, “Because they’re discontinuing these pens.” I use these pens...they’re waterproof, and they’ve got various points. They’re not as comfortable, but basically if I’m in Europe, I’m not doing any finishes, so I can use them for sketches. If I sell something over there, and they want something immediately finished, I would have to sit down and do it with a Staedtler pen.

Art supplies are diminishing because of the computer. Pretty much every art supplies store in New York is gone. There are plenty of places with art supplies departments, like Staples. The place I go now, on Madison Avenue, it used to be an art supplies and stationary store, and the guy moved over to Lexington Avenue, and he basically had the same thing...and also a printing business...he’s sort of limping along, and I make sure I go in and buy stuff there just to keep him in business, for godsakes!

Jane: You know, running this blog has really driven home that, like you said earlier, there isn’t a magic tool. I’ve interviewed dozens and dozens of people, and everyone has different tools that they prefer. So I agree, it’s just whatever you’re comfortable with...

Sam: You know, I’m not very good with color...Doctor Seuss was not very good with color...among other people— same with Shel Silverstein— they had it added mechanically, and you can see that in the Dr. Seuss books and The Giving Tree. Occasionally, I have to conquer my disabilities— because I'm doing greeting cards or whatever —to work with color. So with that, I guess I use the cheapest watercolors for working this stuff. I also know my limitations on this stuff... and my brushes are for wash and half tones... probably kinda beat up, but they do the job. 

© Copyright, 2016, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Jane: You take a while to do each cartoon, right? You do a lot of cartoons per week, and your cartoons look deceptively simple, but I know you really think about where each line goes. I remember that you gave me some of the best advice I've ever gotten for cartooning, which was was that you told me to draw funny, and I think what you meant was to make sure every line help propel the joke, rather than wasting space with superfluous details. Did I interpret that right?

Sam: Well, there's a difference between drawing funny and funny drawing. Usually a lot of people who can draw very well— really good artists— when they go into cartooning they’re doing funny drawing rather than drawing funny. Because they—I don’t know—in other words they exaggerate the nose...which possibly is not pertinent to this particular cartoon. They’re making funny drawing. Drawing funny is...George Booth draws funny, Bill Woodman draws funny… people say that I draw funny. I guess I do, in a way, but not as funny as their drawing. Sergio Aragonés draws funny... and I take— sometimes, which I'm doing now— I take two three weeks to do a drawing...just looking at it, and deciding… I don't consider myself a great artist, or even that much of a good artist, but what I consider myself is a really good gag man, a really good person that can tell a joke, that's what I do. You know, I'm weak in perspective, I can't draw a horse to save myself...but a lot of other people can't also— I’m in good company with horses, or lack of ability to draw horses. But I can tell a joke... and it takes a lot of work to do that.

Jane: Some people say either you’re funny or you’re not, but do you think people can improve their ability to tell a  good joke?

Sam: Yeah I could see it over the years. Stuff that I did In 1969, when I began with The New Yorker, and getting in jokes...and drawing... to now, you know if I just go back in my files to 1969, I guess the initial reaction would be to hold my head and go, “Oh my God!”, but I've developed from there, and I realize that's where I was in 1969. And there are people, without my saying any names, that have been drawing the same way for 20-30 years, and to me it's amazing that they can do whatever they did 20 years ago, not that I would want that. You know, I’m very happy that I’ve advanced to the point where my drawings are totally different than I did in 1969, and before that between ‘63 and ‘69... and actually, up until ‘73 or so, when I was doing a lot of gags... writing for Charles Addams...he worked with gag men. I realized—George Price was actually walking around with my wife at a gallery of his stuff, and he was showing [her] various drawings there. And at that particular time, I was somewhat appalled that my idols were using gag men— one of them of course being Charles Addams—and [Price] turned to my wife and said, “you know, I’m not really involved with gags—I’m involved with furniture,” and it really gelled, and then I realized with Charles Addams, he was involved with mood and architecture, and some of these other guys that were buying gags, they weren’t very involved in germinating the idea, but once they had the idea, they could then work with it, and then come out with something really, really good. So some cartoonists are just different. You know there’s one cartoonist that can draw anything, but for the most part he uses set gags

© Copyright, 1991, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Jane: So I was looking at your Wikipedia, and it says in 2012 you had a total of 27,592 cartoons. What’s the tally now?

Sam: 31,577.

Jane: Wow!

Sam: Well what I do is I throw out a lot of gags. I’ve probably thrown out over 5000 gags. You throw out gags cause they’re obsolete. Let’s say the gag —the idea— involves a rotary telephone, which there aren’t any rotary telephones anymore! Or a phone booth, of which there are very few. I think there were two left in New York City on West End Avenue. There was an article in The Times on that. So you throw this stuff out, you throw out stuff that’s obsolete. Including, let’s say five years from now, if I had a gag on Trump, or if I had a gag on McCain… you throw out a gag or idea if it’s lousy, “Oh my god, what was I thinking about?!” Out of 31,500 gags  or so, I have duplicates, “Oh my God I did that one, there it is again,” so I throw that out. This keeps me sharp, otherwise I would probably need a larger studio… Yeah, 5000 gags takes up a lot of space.

Jane: Wait so you throw away cartoons? Actual physical drawings that you’ve done?

Sam: Yeah! And there are other drawings, by the way, in my books...and I look at this thing, and it’s my gag, it’s my idea, and I don’t get it. I don’t know where my head was when this thing was germinating in my mind.  I have no idea, and I look at this thing and go “huh?!” I just get rid of it.

Jane: So you’re not like Mort who has a storage facility with thousands of cartoons…

Sam: No, no—I’m not gonna have a storage facility. I have a studio down the block from where I am. And actually, since I own it, and I’m paying maintenance on it, I’m probably not paying much more than he’s paying on his storage facility, wherever the heck that is.

© Copyright, 2011, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Jane: I used to store my cartoons in a stack under my bed in my old apartment, and the mice let me know what they thought of my work by sh-tting all over it.

Sam: That’s another thing by the way, with piles—there’s one cartoonist I know, his system, as far as cartoons are concerned, one pile is horizontals, the other pile is verticals. That’s his system. And what I tell some of these young people at The New Yorker, which you’re aware of, because you were one of them, is to control the volume of this. And one way is to number them on the back, and then every one of them is an inventory number. Otherwise, when stuff goes out to Whoopie magazine or something, you know that you’ve sent this stuff out. Now you push scan and send it out, but you sent out 2831, 3743, with 16000… and you know which cartoons were sent out without having to describe them. 

Now what I don’t do, which people think I should do, and I’m possibly gonna have to, is scan these things and put them on a disc or whatever. I really don’t want to do that now, because I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty, and of course I’m gonna have to hire somebody. I’d rather just sit down, draw, and create. And I’ve got this system well enough that if you need something—let’s say it’s a men’s magazine—I go to my “Men’s Magazine” folder, and I pull something out. If you need something for natural history—let’s say turtles — I can pull out something on turtles. As a matter of fact, I had a request a while back for dental cartoons, and I thought I never had that many, and I went into “medical,” and I had enough there to open a full file on dental. 

I keep it loose, but not very loose. There is a control. I can go into something, and pull it out,or get it... at worst I think it can take twenty minutes. But there’s a method to this madness.

© Copyright, 1999, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Jane: So this blog is supposed to be an educational resource for aspiring cartoonists and artists, and I was wondering if you had any advice that you wish you’d been told when you were first starting out, or that you think they should know...

Sam: Yeah, which is something you probably have experienced. There’s no love in this. I tell people, especially these young kids up at The New Yorker... sooner or later, The New Yorker is going to break your heart if you’re going to put all of your effort there. There’s no love there— I don’t love The New Yorker, and The New Yorker doesn’t love me. I’ve had, on many, many occasions... what usually has happened,or actually, what has happened, is that the market that I’m dealing with changes editors, and all of a sudden I’m out, and somebody else is in. I had this happen at Harvard Business Review, and the art director was a guy named John O’Connor, and I was selling to him for... I guess seventeen years, and the magazine was faculty run, which meant that it was run by crazies, because there were faculty wars involved, and those people were thrown in, people were thrown out, and people were in limbo, and John was able to survive for seventeen years, until he finally he became a casualty of the faculty wars there, and somebody else took over, and then I was selling sporadically, rather than the way I was selling before. Then later, I got a letter in the mail, hard copy, and they were informing me that they were buying all rights now. So I wrote them a letter back, or posted it by email, I don’t remember, “Please be advised that all the cartoons that you bought prior to this are my property. And if you get any reprint requests, please forward them to me.”

That’s the other thing by the way. And that’s rights. If you own the stuff, it’ll work for you. And I’m not saying every one of them will, but we call these cartoons that grow us money, we call them evergreens. The champion evergreen for me  is the frog legs cartoons. I don’t have to say anything more. Everyone knows that one. The other one is the snail cartoon. “I know she’s a tape dispenser, but I love her.” The reason that these cartoons are paying me money— the frog legs cartoon is 47 years old, much older than you— the reason that these cartoons are generating money is because I own them. 

I had a friend of mine who was selling to Mad magazine, and he got very involved, and he was selling there for years and years and years… and one day he walked in there, and they told him he was too derivative, whatever the hell that means, and that they were no longer buying from him.

Jane: That’s terrible!

Sam: Well, this happens. He was lamenting to me, “Thirty-five years! Thirty-five years, and I’ve got nothing.” You gotta be very careful with where you’re selling. I was stuffing an envelope in 1977 for Playboy, and all of a sudden this light bulb went off, and I said, “Hey wait a minute! They’re paying three hundred and fifty dollars, but buying all rights,” and I said, “I can’t make any money on them. I’m gonna get the three hundred and fifty dollars, and that’s it.”

If I had sold all rights on that frog legs cartoon, which came out in December 1970, they bought it for one hundred dollars, and that’s what I would have made on it. One hundred dollars—that’s it. Now, this thing has made thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. I had a lithograph, which I think I made fifteen thousand on—just on the lithograph.

That’s the other thing— all my cartoons are inventoried and posted in an index, and when a cartoon makes money, for whatever reason, I post it, to the nearest dollar, how much money this cartoon has made. And for the frogs leg cartoon, and the tape dispenser cartoon, I had to add a page with all the action that went on with it. 

It’s very very important for you to retain your rights, cause otherwise you’re not gonna last. There are just so many variables going. I just sold the frog legs cartoon to a movie company, and they just came out with a movie about The National Lampoon on Netflix. It’s a prop. I think it’s hanging on a wall that somebody walks by. And I billed them $150 for it.

© Copyright, 1998, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Sam: Hello?

Jane: Oh, sorry, I was just listening!

Sam: So again, rights are very important. Ownership is very important. If you feel like, “Well, I’ll do it just once or twice,..I need the money... I’m desperate,” they feed on you. Basically, their attitude towards you is that you’re the shmuckartist—that’s one word-—shmuckartist, and they take advantage of you. Usually, I just had it recently again, when this woman said to me— and I won’t say what the market was—“We only have the best interest at heart.” When somebody tells you that, they’re trying to screw you. The same thing when they begin the conversation with “You gotta understand,” that’s another rotten deal they want you to go into, okay? I did this cartoon, actually it almost happened to me that way, where you walk into an office, and there’s this guy behind the desk, and every chair in the office is occupied, so you can’t sit down, so you’re standing in front, and there are guys there ( and in this particular case it was all guys)… and I got a cartoon out of it that was in The New Yorker. Basically, you’re supposed to stand at the desk and pull on your forelock and hunch over. I did this gag, with this big corner office,with the big desk, and there’s four- five guys sitting in chairs, and the guy behind the desk… and this poor shlump is standing in front of the desk, and the guy behind the desk is saying, “Work with us, we’re trying to screw you!” I got a gag out of it, finally after these many years, because this happened when I was selling to girly magazines, back in the ‘60s, and sometimes something germinates after 50 years.

Jane: So you’re saying if someone has to tell you that they’re being nice to you, they probably aren’t?

Sam: Well, probably not. Look at it this way, this is a person at Condé Nast— not at the magazine, but dealing with another department —my feeling is, if she’s telling me, “We only have the best interest at heart,” this is not true, because being employed by Condé Nast, she’s gotta have Condé Nast’s interest at heart ahead of mine, because if she doesn’t, she’s gonna get fired. So of course, it’s bullshit.

© Copyright,  2009, S. Gross. Buy this print here!

Jane: I remember you would tell me and other cartoonists to be like a street rat. Could you explain that a little?

Sam: Yeah, well, you should figure out where else you’re gonna survive with this thing. For instance, I guess this was the 1980’s, when William Shawn was under tremendous pressure to resign, which it took a while... For some reason, he didn’t take a shine to me, and I couldn’t sell him for a period of 14 months, but I was up there every week, running cartoons through, and then selling to Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan, National Lampoon... Basically, I was running this stuff through The New Yorker, and knowing, knowing, that this thing is not going anywhere at The New Yorker. However, I have this stuff, I’m setting it up through The New Yorker… having this stuff now salable for other magazines. It looks pretty good— “Hey let’s go to Cosmo. Let’s go to… I guess at that time, True magazine.” So yeah, you gotta be a street rat. People come up to The New Yorker— “What are you gonna do with this next?” and they go, “I dunno!” Well if you don’t know, you’re not gonna survive.

Jane: Can I tell you a story about the first time I went into The New Yorker?

Sam: Sure!

Jane: It was when they were still at 4 Times Square, and I was scared to death, but I remember specifically that you were extremely welcoming, and made me feel like it was okay that I was there...and you invited me to Pergola [des Artistes] with all of the other guys, and you even drew a map for how to get there, which I later hung up on my wall... I just wanted to say, thank you for making me feel like it was alright for me to be there.

Sam: Of course it was alright for you to be there!

Jane: A lot of times as a young woman, especially in comedy, you don’t get welcomed at all, so it really meant a lot—from you, especially.

Sam: It’s such a tough business, that to be a hard-on in this business is disgusting, for want of a worse word. You try to make it easier for anybody and everybody, because I didn’t know what your work was like—you were there, which was important to you.

Jane: Yeah, and you were just nice regardless, and that says a lot about you as a person.

Sam: Well, thank you. I went through my first first showing, it was at Saturday Evening Post, and I still remember Henry Boltinoff, a cartoonist there, had a sign-in list, so you signed in, and I was behind George Wolfe, and I sat down, and I was so scared. I didn’t ask “Who is George Wolfe?” I just sat there, and Henry Boltinoff walked up to me and said, “Hi I’m Henry Boltinoff,” and I said, “Hi I’m Sam Gross,” and he said, “You’re after that elderly gentleman there—ugly old gentleman there” (they were good friends), “that’s George Wolfe.” So you know, after that, I showed up again—street rat—I showed up every week. I never was a really big seller at Saturday Evening Post. And I got in my studio… I think it was Sidney Harris, no it wasn’t Sidney, it was Art Pottier…. he had taken two signup lists,  he kept them, and he sent me two photocopies. Very interesting who was on there, including a couple New Yorker cartoonists. One of them was Alan Dunn, which was a big surprise, because he was a big star at the New Yorker. He at one point had sold more cartoons than anybody else, like 1200 cartoons. But, you know, there’s never a reason for being a putz.

The map Sam drew for me, in case the other cartoonists left for lunch while I was showing my cartoons.

Jane: Is there anything else you wanna say to aspiring cartoonists?

Sam: Again, I guess one thing is the business is changing. The whole publishing business is changing. You’re going up to publishers now, like The New Yorker, and there’s a desert of cubicles. There’s new technology going— for instance, now, I’m involved with cartoon festivals… in the old days, being two weeks ago [laughs] no, more than that... you would have had to send in an original. You would have to pack it, you would have to insure it, you’d have to worry about it coming back. Now you scan and send, and you don’t have to worry about any of this stuff, and this stuff is hangable, and people wanna buy it—they can buy the original. If people wanna buy prints, which is what I prefer, they’ll buy prints...and even submitting to magazines now, The New Yorker, which I”ll do tomorrow, is scan and send. I basically don’t have to go in. Usually I do go in, because one, it breaks up the week... and I have lunch with cohorts. It’s changing, and what it’s changing into I don’t know, but I am aware of it. Listen, there are very few magazines that I’m dealing with now. A lot of people I’m dealing with, in a way, are kinda desperate with what’s going on. It’s going on for them also— it’s going on for us and it’s going on for them, these monumental changes. My only advice on this is to be aware of it. I can’t give you advice for how to act upon it. I guess that’s it! 

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[greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet]

black panther spoilers!!

i??? am gay??? for every single woman in this film????

including ramonda, bc she is beautiful and majestic and lovely

shuri is like,,, a couple years older than me. date me, princess, date me p l e a s e 

!!!!!killmonger!!!!! holy shit!!!! i?? actually felt sorry for him!! i really liked guy!!- like, not “liked” him, i don’t agree with anything he was doing, but i!! understood!! why he was doing all this?? and he!! was!! just!! a super sympathetic villain!! i didn’t want him to die!!

TH A T L A S T L I N E T H O U G H . oh my god. i died, right there, in my seat.  holy fucking shit. we thought thor ragnarok was heavy-handed on anti-colonialism and civil rights??? FUCK THAT. this guy’s last words were “bury me in the sea with my ancestors. they knew that death was better than bondage.” GOD FUCKING DAMN.

ross!! a good ross!! i liked this ross!!

martin freeman’s american accent is. unnerving. 

i pray for a scene in infinity wars where he meets dr strange (and possibly tony stark is there too because you can’t forget the downey films) and there’s like. references. i would laugh my ass off. 

he grows throughout the movie and he just. takes orders from nakia and shuri without question. i like this ross. i hope he sticks around. 

i liked that there were like. next to none established marvel characters in this!! no cameos from any avengers or ex-avengers (minus the end scene but shhh he was never an avenger to begin with). like,, ross was just it??? and i just really liked that! it was a movie about the black panther, no other superheroes. i appreciated that.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!t’challa’s line at the UN!! “wise men build bridges; fools build barriers.” GET FUCKING RE K T TRUMP

s h u r i  m y  lo v e  with the panther gauntlets!! slay me!!

na k i a marry me please

or marry t’challa, i am shocked but this relationship is neither forced nor off-putting, marry him please and be the most badass queen wakanda has ever had

forgive me ramonda, but i have no proof of your badassery, only nakia’s

o k o y e . oh my god, okoye. i loved her?? so much??

why do you love wakabi, okoye. do better than him.

her struggle!!! after killmonger took the throne!! oh my god!! i loved her almost more right then tbh??? like. she loves t’challa!! she is loyal to him!! but she is a Dora Milaje first and foremost and her duty is to the throne, no matter who sits on it, and GOD FUCKING DAMN I LOVE HER SO MUCH???? JESUS CHRIST???? I FUCKING CAN’T WITH THE LADIES IN THIS MOVIE

all of the women in this movie are fully fleshed out. all of them. (minus killmonger’s kissing lady.) their characters are not dependent on t’challa, even though they all care about him a lot and are in the movie because they care about him. ramonda is a former queen. shuri is a tech genius who is clearly involved with all the technological workings of wakanda. nakia is a spy whose loyalties are not t’challa first, but her beliefs first, even though she loves him. (she would stage a coup if she had enough soldiers!! she was ready to stage a coup with like three people on her side!!) i already talked about okoye, but she’s also!! so!! good!! she’s sassy and she’s smart and she’s kick-ass, but she has pet peeves and she struggles and she has doubts and she mourns her friends. i love her. i love all of them. 

t’challa! damn! i know i haven’t talked about him much but he!! was!! so!! good!! his reaction to t’chaka’s killing of his brother, his opinion on killmonger, his obvious love for shuri (HE!! THREW!! HIMSELF!! AT!! KILLMONGER!! AND!! SENT!! BOTH!! OF!! THEM!! DOWN!! A!! MOUNTAIN!! TO!! PROTECT!! HER!!) and his mom, his love for azuri (even though he didn’t agree with everything azuri did), the spirit visions w/ t’chaka and the other kings (why did you leave the child behind? my heart fucking sh a t te r e d), his love of nakia (nakia... hi... this awkward boy i love him), just!! I LOVE HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! 

wakanda in general!! i want to live there!! it’s so beautiful and colorful and ahh!!! the four tribes and their differences are really cool to look at, too, with the different color schemes of each tribe and the mouth-piercings for the one (what are those called???) and the hair for that other one (like??? h o w ??????) and like, the traditional culture blending with modern culture and also futuristic stuff and!! ahh!! wakanda!!! 

the!! FUCKING!! ANIMATIONS!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

i don’t know who animates/directs the ending credits for the marvel movies, but they need a raise. i don’t know or care how much they get paid right now, they need a raise.

my heart bro k e when i realized the kid & dad speaking at the beginning were killmonger and his dad. like!!! oh my god i was??? not??? r e a d y ???

t’challa and shuri!! they’re so believable as siblings!! they’re so genuine!! like, seriously, it’s me and my sister: annoy each other to death, but also willing to kill and/or die to protect one another. (at least, that’s how i am to my sister. more reasons shuri is my soulmate: we’re the annoying younger sibling.)

ramonda!! is!! so clearly worried about her kids and so proud of their achievements and so done with shuri’s shit and?? she’s just a really genuine mom and i love her. 

shuri is so sassy. i want a movie about her.

i want a movie about her, okoye, and nakia shooting the shit and roasting t’challa. just. an hour and a half of these three amazing ladies roasting his royal ass. maybe ramonda walks in after an hour to share embarrassing baby stories. give me this, marvel. gi v e m e t hi s .

finally, andy serkis played a hilarious villain with mental problems and a creepy-ass laugh who is not animated. au naturale andy. god bless.

anyway this movie is a masterpiece go watch it

i’m gonna find the soundtrack on youtube and illegally download the whole fucking thing and listen to it on loop

[shitkkwrites]

Comfort

From one of my in-progress works, titled “Love Found, and Lost.”

Trigger warning for mentions of childhood / teenage abuse, so proceed with caution.

“Fedya?”

“Yes, love?” Alfred said distractedly, one hand preoccupied with his red, white and blue-colored fidget cube.

“Are... are you sure you can talk about it? I-I mean... it's okay if... if you don't want to,” Ivan said softly, slinging one arm around him. They'd ended up in Al's bedroom, which was decorated in what he guessed was a typical American-style: sports team posters all over the walls, one occupied shelf housing various football-related awards, a helmet that had a place of honor in-between all the accolades, comic books piled haphazardly here and there, the soft glow of a desktop computer whose screensaver had been set to dancing rainbow lines; a clothes hamper that wasn't half-full yet.

They'd ended up on his bed, which was cheekily decorated with a Captain America motif'd bedsheet, although there was a Thor plush toy on the bedside counter, looking really battered and worse for wear (it was Al's only memory from his previous home).

“W-well... I... I think I can, if you're here. You should know, me and Mattie are... different,” he began, his fingers idly flicking the fidget cube. “I look up to him like a hero. Which he really is. I mean...”

“Hm?”

“...haven't you ever wondered why it's just me and him in this house?”

 “Well, Fedya... I did think about it from time to time, but...”

“You see, it's like this. Me and Mattie aren't from here in Montclair. We used to live down south. Like, way down south,” he began, looking anywhere but at his boyfriend.

“Florida?” Ivan inquired, curious. He could only guess as to why Alfred was avoiding his gaze, but he decided to let his boyfriend do his thing as he continued talking.

“No. We're originally from San Antonio, Texas. Our parents... well, sometimes I'm envious of you and your mom. Your dad's a bit scary though.”

At this, Ivan could only snort.

“True, my father may be like that. But I know he cares about us siblings. He's just not... as... expressive, I think? Yes. Not as expressive as my mother is. But anyway, you were saying...?”

He then looked at Alfred, who'd stopped messing with the fidget cube and had placed it beside the Thor plushie, before picking up the battered stuffed toy and holding it rather tightly.

“Our parents... they only cared for their wealth and ambitions. Mattie wasn't supposed to be a lawyer, in all honesty. He wanted to be a veterinarian. But our perfectionist prick of a dad... had other ideas. So, Mattie was forced to become one. As for me? Well, I got lucky before they started forcing me to become an engineer...” he trailed off, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“Dorogoy, what do you mean—?”

“My mom didn't really care much about us. It was always our dad who ruled over everything back home. Maybe she was scared. Seeing him get corrupted by the money he earned. He... he wasn't like that before,” he broke off as he squeezed the plush toy as hard as he could to hide the fact his hands were shaking. 

“It was like... he changed overnight. And in a way, it changed everything in our family. I could tell Mom was unhappy, but she didn't want to speak up, because she was beaten whenever she tried to. I... we grew up hearing her crying every single night. It was...terrifying,” he muttered, fighting the urge to cry.

“Fedya...” Ivan said softly, before drawing the shaking American into a warm hug. “It's okay, it's alright... you don't have to talk if it upsets you,” he whispered softly, rubbing Alfred's back as he did so.

“I tried to sneak into her room, to tell her that the screaming was unbearable, but she'd just look at me before slamming the door shut in my face. Since then? I had to block it out. Every. Single. Night. There were other times Mattie would get beaten, and I'd hear him cry out, but I couldn't do anything. The next day he'd be all smiles and then tell me to keep my chin up as we headed out to school. And then...”

“And then...?” Ivan prompted, still rubbing Alfred's back. 

“I'd stay out of his hair as much as I could, of course. But there are times I'd get on his nerves, and then he'd beat me up too. Oh, it's nothing too serious, don't worry,” he broke off, trying to lighten the mood a little as Ivan's hands stopped running up and down his back. “Mattie was the one who had to bear the brunt of it all. Sometimes he'd defend me from our dad when I'd get into trouble. Other times I defended him, even if he told me not to.”

“Fedya... I didn't know. Are you sure you'll be okay? Talking about this?” he asked, an apprehensive tone in his voice before looking at Alfred once more.

“Y-yeah, I'll b-be fine,” he whispered back, both hands now all but squeezing the plushie he was holding. “I guess I just needed someone to... hear me out.”

“Fedya. If you're not okay with talking about it, we can stop here. I mean, I know it hurts. It hurts me, too. That you were treated that way...”

“Oh, V-Vanya...” he choked out, resting his head into Ivan's shoulder. It took a few moments for the Russian to realize that his shoulder was slowly getting damp.

“Shh... you don't have to continue,” he reassured the American, wrapping both his arms around the other trembling figure. “S-sorry.” 

“N-no, I... I can manage.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, skepticism in his voice.

“Y-yeah...” Alfred trailed off, not realizing that he was already crying hard in his boyfriend's arms. 

“W-well, anyway, things got to a head after my fourteenth birthday. I didn't know that Mattie was going to like, drop a bomb that one evening. When he came out to our parents... that's where things got really nasty.”

“How... how so?” Ivan asked, as he had an idea of how it felt. He'd come out to most of his family after he'd turned eighteen, and while the reception on his end was mostly knowing smiles from his sisters and (an unexpected) sigh of relief from his mother, his father was the hardest one to gauge out of them all.

“We were just about halfway done with dinner when Mattie apologized, cutting across the silence and then just outright saying, 'Mom, Dad... I'm gay,' and that set off the shit storm. Mom began to cry before bailing from the table, and while I was a bit surprised at his pronouncement, I wasn't expecting our...dad to stand up, and then point to another room of the house,” he began, stopping to catch his breath before he continued, 

“It was... horrifying. The silence was pressing down so hard, I almost went crazy. When he and Mattie left, and I was all alone at the table... that's when I heard... the screaming. It wasn't my mom though. It was Mattie...”

Silence was the only reply Ivan could give, before threading one of his hands through Alfred's hair, giving him reassuring, gentle pats.

“And then... and then, after that, I tried to block it all out. It was... I couldn't do anything much. I wanted to run to my room, but hearing Mattie scream for his life... I tried to intervene. I-I tried to stop our dad, but...”

“But?” Ivan continued, waiting for him to continue.

“B-but... when I did get the c-courage to follow them into th-the living room? Mattie told me to... to stay out of it. Of course, I didn't w-want to. I'd heard so much, I don't like to hear those sounds anymore. I was halfway into the room when Mattie all but broke free from... from dad's hold and shoved me out of the room, telling me to wait for him after it was all over. So, I did the next-best thing: I-I fled to my room...”

“Oh, sunshine...” Ivan whispered softly. If he was an empath, he'd have exploded due to the rolling waves of sadness that were permeating all around his boyfriend right then and there. It was like a sea of nothing but blackness had rolled out from Alfred; the painful, heart-wrenching kind that could effectively rip a person apart to shreds in a manner of moments.

“I... I couldn't sleep that night. It was l-like, an hour before dawn when my r-room door finally opened and Mattie peeked in. It was then I knew he'd had enough. So, a year later we fled.” 

“It's a good thing you did... otherwise I wouldn't have met you,” Ivan began after a long silence, a smile crossing his face. He'd let Alfred melt into his arms, the way he was crying, and just whispered soothing things in Russian, even if he knew the other one couldn't understand it.

“So... you're also like me and Mattie...?” The sandy-blonde muttered hoarsely, shoulders still shaking from the latest round of crying he'd just released.

“Da. I haven't told you yet, have I?” He rumbled, unable to fight off the smile on his face. “And you thought I was straight?”

“Oh, Vanya, you have no idea,” Alfred muttered, still muffled in his shoulder. It was really warm there for some reason, and he just wanted to stay in that particular spot. “Well, now that I know you're also gay... it's kind of a relief, actually. What if I was dating someone who wasn't, and was just forced to? 

“Oh, sunshine. Even if I was straight I'd still let you date me,” he continued, this time gently taking Alfred by the shoulders and slowly moving him so they faced each other. “It's okay now...” he whispered, one hand slowly rising up so he could brush the last of Alfred's tears away. “I'm sorry if I was such an idiot the first few times you talked with me.”

“Yeah, you were a regal prick. A regal pissy depressed prick,” the American chuckled, a weak attempt at humor. “Glad to see you aren't. And you're still a bear.”

“Whatever, Fedya.”

“Love you too, Vanya,” he said back, quirky grin on his face before blinking in surprise as this time, it was Ivan who'd initiated contact by closing the distance and cutting him off with a soft, gentle kiss on the lips before he could say anything else.

Instinctively, he slowly wrapped his own arms around Ivan, one hand still hanging onto the plush toy as the other slowly wound its way into the ash-blonde hair, nudging his head closer, unwilling to break the contact between them. It felt so warm, really. Not like with the times he had to act like such a poser in front of his team mates with a girl hanging off his arms. This was just... perfect.

Unable to resist, Ivan then tilted backwards, bringing Alfred along with him as they fell onto the sheets, the Russian's arms wrapping around his lanky frame as he held him closer, afraid to let go of him now that he knew just how...wrecked his ray of sunshine was.

“I'll protect you,” were the first words Ivan whispered, slowly breaking away from Alfred's kiss before brushing a kiss on the American's nose. “I may not be as... good as Matvey in some aspects, but I promise you, I'll protect you. From anything. From everything. From the world, if you wish. 

“Matvey?” 

“Your brother.”

“Oh,” was all he had time for as Ivan began trailing a soft thread of kisses upwards from his nose, to his forehead, before going back down his cheeks and then burying his face in the crook of Alfred's neck.

“Vanya?”

“Yes, love?”

“Th-thank you. For hearing me out.”