#look we did talk about him bringing up eva

[telmn]

&& 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐋𝐘 to see the world no longer shackled by fear. To live in one's own light, by one's own terms---the solidarity between he && his fellow man to break free of the mold. Deviate from whatever damnation sees them as mere means to an end; he's content to press on, therein. && there's aught to be said of the way an electric gaze battles the desire to save the other or watch him rot. All the years he's tried, the wage of differences a heavy sum. It causes the outlaw's tongue to click. "Change would've seen a man not lay low his wife for his so-called god." He knows well that he treads on dangerous tidings. Uttering aught of the woman that he knows stands beyond this area crafted solely to keep at bay men of his mind---but not of his caliber. Cut from a different cloth, bred of desperation && anger && love lost. Could those tethers truly hold him? Could those bars contain him? A risk he runs && gambles with security. But who else might challenge the mind of a mad man? "Your little show in Kanver painted quite the picture. Burnin' the same city you helped liberate.. raising a hand to the only person with wits enough still to fight through that haze you're in. I gave up believin' in any chance you wouldn't meet a blood end. Yet here we are. And she'd sooner burn this all to the ground than cut you loose. Decades of chasing down any hope for you.. and you don't even remember her." Another drag from his greens. "Like a romantic tragedy."

❝Is that what you are waiting for?❞

Even now, untold years removed from the birth of an impossible dream, this man remains ever the fool, clinging to a hope built upon the belief that mankind might one day give way to change. For so long as this dream has existed, so too has he been a fool, naïve enough to believe himself the spark needed to turn the world on its head.

HE IS ICARUS, a fool lingering much too close to the sun. It is a miracle in and of itself that he still breathes. A fluke.

And still, here he sits, content to nurse the flicker of hope with every spoken word loosed from a traitor's tongue. Whether it be for himself or for another – an equally foolish boy lured and deviated from the intended path – Cidolfus remains willfully ignorant to the fact that he is a catalyst for naught.

[thebearer]

can you make a fic of teenage teddy and (beekeeping age) carm?? like how their relationship would be and his reaction to her growing up so fast 😭

beekeeping age plzzzz lmao. he would be dilflicious and you all know he would!!! no real tw besides teenage teddy, underage drinking, and mentions to mikey???

"Cousin," Richie's voice was eerily calm on the other line. Carmen's eyes sprung open, sitting up in the bed, the grogginess from sleep was gone. "Don't freak out."

"What's goin' on? What happened?" Carmen didn't listen to Richie's advice, snatching the clock to see the time- three-twenty-two am.

"I said don't freak out, alright?" Richie tried again, the tone he used when he was about to tell Carmen something that would make him go nuclear.

"Don't fuck with me right now. What's goin' on?" Carmen's heart was hammering, shimmying on his sweat pants.

"Carm," You muttered, groggy and rasping through sleep. "What's wrong?"

"Go to sleep, baby. I got it." Carmen muttered, pressing a kiss to your head, hand stroking down your cheeks, the impressions of your pillow pressed into your still warm skin.

"Richie, I'm not fuckin' around anymore, ok? What's goin' on?" Carmen hissed, shutting the door softly, padding down the dark hall.

"Carmen, I want to remind you that we have all been teenagers before. Very young, very stupid." Richie hummed.

Carmen's spine went rigid, icy fear shooting through his nervous system. His eyes flickered up the stairs. Teddy.

"Where are you?" Carmen snatched his keys and coat, patting the pocket to make sure his Spirits were in there- he deserved one, he could already tell.

"I'm at my house, but listen- it's not bad, ok?" Richie tried again, his voice raising a little higher to emphasize over Carmen's ramblings.

"What did she do? Is she ok?" Carmen snapped, slamming the car door shut and tearing out of the garage like a lunatic, pulling onto the unusually calm Chicago streets, tearing towards Richie's house.

Carmen was buzzing- maybe with rage, maybe with fear, maybe both. The fifteen year old had managed to sneak out, going to some party with Eva, who was a sophomore at UIC now. The two had always been close, and now that Eva was in college, they were even closer. How Teddy managed to talk her cousin into bringing her to a college party, no one was sure. The campus police busted it up and found Teddy there, making her call her parent to come get her. Carmen tried to ignore the sinking in his chest that Teddy had called Richie over him.

Teddy looked entirely too old sitting on Richie's couch, in a sweatshirt that clearly covered up whatever she was wearing.

"Go." Carmen gave a sharp jerk of his head, pushing the front door open. "Go to the car."

"Dad, I-"

"-Now, Dorothea." Carmen snapped, tracking her with furious eyes while she stomped out the door.

Richie waited until the car door shut to snicker. "That kid," He pointed towards Carmen's car. "Fuckin' Mikey reincarnated, cousin."

"Don't." Carmen shook his head. "Don't fuckin' say that."

"Cousin, hey, woah. I meant that as a compliment, what's the matter with you?" Richie held his hands up in defense.

"A compliment? Mikey was a fuckin' drug addict and blew his brains out-"

"-Carmen, hold up." Richie cut him off, wide eyes that steadied Carmen's shaking nerves. "You... You fuckin' know I would never... Carm." Richie sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Mikey wasn't always a junkie or-or addicted to that shit, ok? I know you fuckin' know that."

Carmen could feel his heart drop, the lump growing thicker and thicker in his throat. It had been years now since Mikey's death, but there were still times it would hit Carmen. Crashing, furious waves that had his chest tightening at the thought.

"Teddy... she's a fuckin' funny kid, alright? That's all I meant. She reminds me of Mikey when we were in high school. Doin' stupid shit and havin' fun. She's a kid, and she's a good kid. Better than Mikey, actually, she's got a better head on her shoulder." Richie said. Carmen didn't move, just let him talk.

"It's not a bad thing to say she's like Mikey. She's a good kid and so was he. He... I mean, he fucked up bad and got all fucked up, but... he was always still good."

"Yeah," Carmen croaked, wiping his nose to hide his emotions. He could see Teddy in the passenger seat, head pressed against the window, scrolling 'sneakily' through her phone (the glare gave her away).

"She didn't snitch on Eva, you know that?" Richie snorted lightly. "Cops asked her who she was with, and she said she was just walkin' by and saw it."

Carmen rolled his eyes. Richie grinned. "That's some Mikey shit right there, don't even say it's not."

"It is." Carmen nodded. "Thanks f'pickin' her up."

"C'mon," Richie shook his head. "Go easy on her, Carm. She's a kid."

Carmen waved him off, hands balled in his jacket when he got in the car. Teddy glanced at him carefully, while Carmen backed out of the drive.

They both didn't say anything, Richie's words ringing around his head. "You hungry?" Carmen muttered.

"What?" Teddy squeaked, a little surprised at his calm demeanor.

"You hungry?" Carmen asked, looking over at her. She wasn't the little toddler that used to clamber around The Bear in plastic heels. No, she was growing up. Older now, looking more like you every single day.

"Yeah." Teddy muttered.

Carmen turned into a diner, a twenty-four-seven one he'd taken you when the two of you were younger. Way younger, before kids, before you ever really even knew each other- when your relationship was new and exciting.

It was dingier now, still smelled like old grease and batter. The coffee was still burnt when it was poured into his cup. Teddy still ordered chocolate chip pancakes which made Carmen's heart swell.

"Hey," Carmen muttered, catching a reflection of his own eyes staring back at him, on a face that looked so much like yours. "I, uh, I want you to know if you ever... If you're ever in a situation like that again, you know you can call me or mom."

Teddy blinked back at him, careful and waiting. "We're not... I mean, we're not gonna be mad if you ever need us, ok? You can always call me if you need to- you should always call me if you need to."

Teddy nodded slowly, twirling her straw around her glass. "So... you're not mad?" She asked hesitantly.

Carmen snorted lightly. "I'm not thrilled, but I'm not mad." He said. "I'm glad you're ok."

Teddy nodded again, lips twisting in thought- just like you did. "So does that mean I'm not in trouble?"

Carmen smirked. "What do you think, kid?" He snorted, shaking his head. Teddy's face fell slightly, face falling in a sullen pout but she nodded anyways.

Carmen made sure Teddy was in her bed when they got home, tucking her in with a kiss to her head, like he always did when she was little. You felt the bed dip, turning towards Carmen's warm chest, his arms finding your waist easily. He smelled faintly like cigarette smoke, stale grease.

"What was wrong with the restaurant?" You muttered, eyes still closed, face burying against his chest.

Carmen would let you think it was the restaurant, at least until the morning. No reason to worry you when Teddy was back home safe. "I got it handled, baby. Go back to bed." His hand slid down your hair, your body melting into his easily.

Carmen lied awake, holding you against his chest, thinking back to Mikey. The good times with Mikey, when he was loud and fun and carefree, always messing with Carmen and just fun. Thinking back to the Mikey he was before. He missed his brother, he did, but Richie was right- Teddy had so many similarities to him, all the good ones. The thought made Carmen comforted, that he still had a part of his brother's spirit still here with him, little reminders of Mikey in his daughter.

[saltnsugarbear]

you remind me just how good it can get

summary: you and Richie take Eva to the pumpkin patch!

title from: "I'm With You" by Vance Joy

word count: 1.1k

content warnings: just cutesy fluff <3

dividers by @strangergraphics

Eva is chaotic today. It had been a hassle to get her into the car, making sure she had her bag ready and buckling her in. Richie had filled her head with ideas of caramel-covered apples, and she'd been unstoppable since.

"You are an asshole.." You tell Richie softly when you close the car door. There's no heat in your voice, and Richie places a kiss on your cheek by way of apology.

"Sorry, sweetheart, didn't think she'd get that excited.." Richie mutters as he leads you to the passenger side of the car.

"Yeah, yeah.." You tell him, giving him a quick kiss when he opens your door. Richie chuckles as you slip into the car, closing the door behind you. You watch him walk around the hood of the car while you buckle in. He climbs into the driver side, starting the car before doing his own seat belt.

"Ready to roll?" Richie asks, glancing at Eva in the rearview window.

"Yeah!" Eva cheers, head turning to look at her father. Richie glances at you, and you nod with less enthusiasm than Eva has.

"Alright, let's roll." Richie says as he puts the car in reverse. "Let's get this show on the road."

"Are you sure Tiff doesn't mind us taking Eva?" You asked for what was probably the hundredth time. You just wanted to be on good terms with Eva's mom, and you knew Richie to be impulsive, so it's a fair question.

"Yes, babe. She and Frank are gonna do... I don't fuckin' know but she said it was fine. Asked her every time you asked to be even more sure." Richie assured you, grabbing your hand to giving it a squeeze.

"Okay.." You mutter, bringing your free hand to fidget with your necklace. Richie sighs beside you, placing a kiss to your temple.

"Promise she gave the okay, sweetheart. Wouldn't put you in a position with her.." Richie tells you softly. This time, you feel a little more assured, exhaling heavily.

"Okie dokie, babe.." You nod, placing a kiss to his scruffy jaw.

"Daddy, daddy!" Eva interrupts, running over to you both. You and Richie turn to look at her as she stops in front of you. She has a few papers in her hands, a few crumpled by how tightly she's holding onto them. "Look, Daddy."

Eva hands him one of the papers. It ends up being a map of the farm, showing you everything you guys need to know. The map is colorful, highlighting the different vendors to get food at and the designated kids' play area or some of the other activities they have around.

"They have a corn maze, Daddy. Look!" Eva stands on her tip toes to try and peak at the map, pointing her finger widely at a section.

She's not far off, despite not being able to fully see the map. You spot the maze she's talking about, pointing it out for Richie to see for himself. While he's taking it in, you lean down to scoop Eva up, bringing her close to your chest as you both look over the map in Richie's hands.

"I don't know, honey... Might be one of those scary ones for big kids.." Richie says, running a hand over his chin as he thinks.

"I can be a big kid!" Eva says quickly, looking over at you. "I can be a big kid, right, sweetheart?"

The nickname makes your heart tug. Eva had been struggling with all the changes in both her parents' lives to understand how these two new people fit in with them. Where she called Frank 'Waldo', Eva liked to call you 'sweetheart' given how much Richie did. She assumed it was okay, and it was. It was better than asshole or bitch so you counted it as a win.

"I don't know, E.." You sigh, looking at the map for yourself. "Maybe we do the hayride instead?"

Eva pouts slightly when those words come out of your mouth, making your heart tug again.

"Here, let's switch," you say to Richie, preparing Eva for a hand off. Richie replaces your hands with his and hands you the map when you hand over Eva. Richie grunts as he sets her on his hip, sighing heavily.

"Get too big to carry, I think.." Richie mutters teasingly.

"Getting too old to carry me, I think..." Eva responds. It shocks a laugh from you, quickly covering your mouth with the map so neither of them can see your smile.

"Woah, kiddo!" Richie gasps, placing a hand to his heart dramatically. "Words can hurt!"

Eva shrugs, looking over at your map now that she's got a higher view. You look over it, taking in all the attractions. Flipping it over, you spot some of the ones listed as later, when it's dark and the kids are in bed, marketed for adults coming to the farm with friends. Along the list of night activities, you spot where it says it becomes a haunted corn maze after sundown.

"Okay, okay," you start. "So, it doesn't become a big kid corn maze until nighttime."

Eva gasps excitedly, watching you with wide eyes.

"But we're gonna have some rules," you say. "And if you break the rules, we're turning around, no exceptions. Got it?"

Eva nods quickly, hanging onto your every word. When you glance at Richie, he nods encouragingly. You don't want to impose but if he's giving you permission...

"No leaving our sights, if there's a turn you wait for us to get there, you need to be on your best behavior because there's gonna be other people in there too and we don't want to ruin their experience either." Eva hangs onto your every word, nodding as you list off the terms. Richie nods as well, like he plans on running around the corn maze like a five year old as well.

"Anything else to add, dad?" you ask Richie.

"Nope," Richie says, shaking his head. "Think you got it all."

You nod, looking at Eva. "Pinky promise to be on your best behavior?"

Eva nods quickly, holding out her pinky for you. You link your pinky's together, shaking them together like a hand shake.

"Okay, now let's switch again so we can give the old man a break." You hold your arms off for Richie to pass Eva over. Richie scoffs, giving you his daughter and taking the map from your hand. He puts the maps in his back pocket before slipping a finger into one of the belt loops on the side of your pants.

"Thank you..." Eva whispers softly as she rests her head against yours.

"You're welcome," you whisper back, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before letting her rest her forehead with yours again.

Richie places a quick kiss on the crown of both of your heads.

He got lucky with you two.

[tuiccim]

Though I Have Never Read It (Part 7)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2985

Warnings: Angst, Family dynamics/drama, Discussion of controlling/abusive relationship.

A/N: Special thanks to my hype princess & beta reader @whisperlullaby.

Though I Have Never Read It Masterlist

Sitting in your car at the compound, you lean your head back against the seat and close your eyes. You take a few deep breaths and give yourself a mental pep talk before finally getting out. The butterflies in your stomach seem to increase with each step you take closer to Bucky's door. You were scared of what this conversation may bring. Would Bucky be angry? He hadn’t seemed so earlier. Would he think it meant something more than it did? 

You lift your hand to knock and stop short. Closing your eyes, you bite your lip and consider running. You could pack your things and be gone in a blink. You’d done it before. But before, there wasn’t Eva and no matter what happened, you couldn’t leave her. Besides, dealing with Bucky was nothing like what had driven you to Estonia. Your real fear here was your own feelings. So, before you could let that cowardice take hold, you allowed your hand to fall and rapped on his door. It opened more quickly than you expected and you took a step back. 

“Hi,” Bucky says, his face full of expectation and… fear? He looked like that lost, scared shell of a person that he had been when you first met him and it made you want to comfort him more than anything. 

“Hi. Is now good?” You ask softly. 

“Yes. Where, uh-” Bucky makes a vague gesture.

“Here is fine. Unless you’d rather go somewhere else,” you try to give him some room. 

“Are you sure you’d be comfortable in my room with me?” He can’t seem to quite meet your eye. 

“Are you comfortable with me being in your room?” you ask instead. 

“Uh, sure, sure. Come in,” he steps back to allow you entry. 

“Thanks,” you look around as you walk in and see mostly stark furniture with only a few personal touches. The one thing that is nearly full is his bookshelf. You let your eyes browse over the titles momentarily. A corner of your mouth quirks as you realize there was a little bit of geek in the quiet supersoldier but you smooth your expression when you turn back to him. He gestures towards the two chairs that flank the bookshelf and you take one. 

“How is Eva? …and Mark?” Bucky asks. 

“They’re great. She was happy to see her dad,” you chose your words with care to reinforce your earlier assertions of Eva’s paternity.

“Good, that’s good. How, uh, how are you?” Bucky fidgets with his hands. 

“I’m okay. I can see you’re as nervous about this conversation as I am,” you try to lighten the mood. 

Bucky cracks a small smile but still hasn’t looked you in the eye yet, “Yeah?”

“Bucky…” you wait for him to look up and when he finally does, you ask shakily, “Are you angry with me?”

“What?!” Bucky’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“You won’t even look at me.”

“No! No, I’m not angry with you. How could I be? You’re the one who should be angry with me. After what I did. I terrified you,” Bucky’s voice nearly breaks. 

“No, I mean, I was scared at first but you didn’t terrify me,” you assert. “Do you remember all of it? What do you remember?”

“I… God! I’m not even sure what I remember. I… did… did I-” Bucky groans in frustration and puts his head in his hands. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you reassure him. When he looks at you a few moments later there is a tinge of red around his eyes that tears at your heart. “Why don’t I tell you what I remember? And then we can work out the details.”

“Please,” Bucky whispers. 

“I was living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. No electricity, rainwater plumbing that was frozen half the time, a tiny kitchen, a bed, and an armchair to read in. It was 4 miles to the nearest neighbor and several more to the nearest town. One evening I was bringing in firewood. There was a snow storm coming in and I wanted to be sure there was enough in the house for the next day. I had just taken off my jacket and was about to relock the door when it flew open and you came through it. I was scared for a minute. I thought you were there to kill me but when I asked you, you simply said shelter. You were even less talkative then,“ you give him a smile to reassure him as his face still betrayed some torment. “What you did manage to tell me was that you were running away from something, too. So, I decided that being scared wasn’t going to change anything. I fed you some soup and whiskey to warm you up, convinced you to get out of the wet clothes you were in since you were shivering, and managed to get you to lay in the bed to rest. You looked so lost at times. While we ate, you were able to remember the name James so that’s what I called you. I settled into my chair to read and you asked me to read to you. I had been reading The-”

“Princess Bride,” Bucky interrupts. 

“Yeah,” you smile at him, “you remember that?”

“I, I overheard you reading it to Eva last night. It’s what triggered the memories. I think,” Bucky says. 

“I thought someone was there last night.”

“I’m sorry. I just heard you and stopped to listen for a minute.”

“It’s fine, Bucky. Anyway, I read to you for a while until I thought you had fallen asleep. When I tried to settle down in the armchair to sleep, you were trying to get out of the bed, grunting no at me. You had so many bruises and scars. I insisted you needed the bed more than I did. I touched your shoulder to stop you from getting out and you gasped. I thought I had hurt you but then you just looked at me and said please. So, I ran my hands through your hair and you calmed down. I sat on the side of the bed and kept doing it until I thought you fell asleep again but the moment I pulled my hand away, you were awake again. You asked me to stay, so I just got in the bed with you and kept running my hand through your hair until we were both asleep. The next morning, um…” you falter, unsure how to explain the next part. Embarrassment and fear wrapping together to still your tongue. 

“I hurt you,” Bucky says grimly. 

“No,” you stare at him, unsure if he meant because of the blood or something else. “No, you didn’t hurt me, James, Bucky,” you shake your head at your own confusion. 

“Don’t. Don’t spare me. Tell me the truth. I remember. I remember forcing myself on you,” Bucky stands up to pace, clearly torturing himself. 

“Bucky,” you start but he cuts you off. 

“Tell me the truth. Please,” he says while pacing, staring at the floor. 

You get up and stand in his path. Grabbing handfuls of his shirt, you force him to look at you, “You didn’t force me,” you say vehemently. Leaving any of your own feelings in the dust, you barrel forward with only the thought of giving him the reassurance and comfort he desperately needed. “You didn’t force anything. I woke up and you were rubbing against me. Pure instinct, you were still asleep. As soon as you woke, you stopped and stared at me with the most terrified expression. I pulled you closer. I pressed myself against you. And then you kissed me and it was intense and I wanted it. You whispered please and I knew what you wanted. I knew what you were asking for,” you pull him closer to you as you speak, ensuring he is hanging on your every word, “I pushed my pants down and you helped me get them lower. You didn’t. You didn’t force me. You didn’t force anything. You were soft and slow and gentle with me. I wanted that. I wanted you.”

“But… the blood?” Bucky asks incredulously. “Were you a virgin?”

“Ye-yeah. It was my first time but that doesn’t change how I feel about it. I wanted you,” you say sincerely. You stared up at him as you emphasized the words of reassurance. Your heart was beating wildly and with your hands curled in his shirt, you could feel his was too. Your faces were so close and you felt a yearning that frightened you.

“But I took that from you,” Bucky looks at you sadly. 

You scoff, you can’t help yourself. Letting go of him, you walk back to the chair and sit, relieved he had given you the perfect out to separate yourself from him physically. Sighing deeply, you shake your head, “No, Buck. The 1940s called, they want their misogyny back. If anything, I gave it. It wasn’t anything special and, truthfully, I was glad to be rid of it. It doesn’t matter. You didn’t hurt me. Understand?”

“Yeah,” Bucky sits looking calmer, “What happened after that?”

“I was going to start breakfast when you heard something. You told me to get in the bathroom and stay there. You said, um, you said thank you. It was quiet for a few minutes and then it sounded like a tornado came through. Smashing and glass shattering and then smoke. The cabin was set on fire and you were gone.”

“They found me. I…” Bucky looks away as if things are falling into place in his mind, “I was commanded to destroy the cabin. I told them no one was there, that I’d gotten lost in the storm. It was the only way I could keep you safe. I had to make them think no one was there. I tried to make sure you could get out, that the fire stayed far enough away to let you get out of the kitchen window.”

“That’s exactly how I got out,” you say. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says.

“For making sure I could escape?” You raise an eyebrow playfully. 

“For ruining your life there.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. It wasn’t much of a life. It forced me to come back here. To face up to my problems. It wasn’t easy but I’m glad. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been here to see Eva born or have that time with her mom. I’m grateful for that night. I don’t have any regrets about it,” you smile while trying to gauge his feelings. 

“Why were you in Estonia?” Bucky asks the question you weren’t sure you wanted to answer. 

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got all night, doll.”

“I’m not kidding. It’s complicated,” You demure, unsure you wanted to share that much. Then again, maybe you should. Maybe there should be one person here who knows the whole story and it seemed right that it would be Bucky. After all, he was a part of it. 

“It’s up to you. I’d like to know but only if you want to tell it,” Bucky tilts his head as he looks at you. 

“Settle in,” you laugh lightly as you reposition yourself in the chair. “My dad was a businessman. He owned a mid-size company that was contracted by Stark Industries. My,” you sigh deeply before continuing flatly, “mother had some connections and helped him get in with Obadiah Stane. He was the CFO of Stark.”

“I've heard of him,” Bucky nods.

“She kept close tabs on business dealings and even closer tabs on me. She insisted I become a woman of high society. She wanted me to be a social climber, like her. It wasn’t me but I went along with it to make her happy. My father died suddenly when I was in college, the company was thrown into chaos and my mother begged Stane for his help. He agreed but insisted on controlling interest in the company. It was around this time that they started an affair, I think. Suddenly, Stane and his son, Zeke, were coming around often. Zeke was a few years older than me and he paid a lot of attention to me. At first, I was flattered. My mother started throwing us together as much as she could but then he started getting possessive. He acted like I was a belonging rather than a person. He started policing my clothes, my phone, my friends, everything. He was not happy that I was getting a degree in mechanical engineering. He said it was a man’s field but he knew it was one of my dad’s last wishes that I finish college. He was downright pissed, as was my mother, when I told them I’d been accepted into the Master’s program. That’s when Zeke finally threw in my mother’s face that he was done waiting for his part of the bargain. Apparently, she had struck a deal with Obadiah for me to marry Zeke in exchange for some other business dealings. I never really understood all of it but he lost his shit and started insisting that he was done waiting, the deal was for me to finish my degree and then he’d own me. That’s the word he used, 'own'.”

“Your mother sold you?” Bucky asks in shock, realizing now why you had given her such a cold reception on the phone call he had overheard. 

Your eyebrows lift in realization of the accuracy of the wording, “Yeah. She sold me. Zeke, he, uh, knew I was a virgin and he wanted me. He wanted to have that. He wanted complete ownership over me. I was terrified of him. I hated who I was with him. I was weak and scared. I cowered under him. He had nearly complete control of me. They started planning the wedding. It had to be a grand event. A status symbol. God, I hated it. I hated everything. I hated myself. I hated who I had become. It was my best friend that came up with the plan to get me out. She had watched my light go out and she couldn’t stand it. She convinced me to escape and with the help of a few other friends, I did. I left to go to a dentist appointment with a small purse and the clothes on my back. Thirty-six hours later, I was in a tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere. I was free. And I was so happy… for a while.” You look away reliving the joy and sadness of that time for a moment.

“A while?” Bucky prompts. 

“The loneliness started to get to me. I wanted a life. A real one. I was trapped the same in that cabin as I had been under my mother’s thumb. Living in constant fear of being found. Then you showed up. You were my catalyst. You forced me to go back and face it all. I met Tony and Pepper and Happy. We found out the Stane’s were doing a lot more shady dealing than anyone ever imagined. When I confronted Zeke, he went insane. He, uh, he tried to kill me. Zeke had built himself a suit similar to Tony’s. Luckily, Happy was there and managed to keep Zeke at bay until Tony showed up.”

“Tell me he’s dead,” Bucky growls.

“He’s… incapacitated. That’s what drove me to Estonia,” you pause for a moment, realizing you had to ask Bucky, “Did you tell anyone that we were in Estonia?”

“I told Steve and Sam about meeting you,” Bucky looks at you with furrowed brows. 

“But did you tell them it was in Estonia?” You question. 

“No. Why?”

“I need you to keep that part just between us. If anyone, like my mother, ever found out I was there, they’d know exactly who helped me. It could jeopardize their livelihood, their business, their life. Please-”

“I give you my word, doll. It stays between us,” Bucky promises. 

“Thank you. Anyway, I came back here. Tony got me back in the Master’s program, gave me a job, and… you’re all caught up now,” you let out a little laugh. 

Bucky studies you for a moment before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“At first, I was waiting to see if you remembered me. I knew you’d been through the brain blender a few times so I was gonna let you take the lead. Then, I don’t know, I didn’t want to bring you any pain. I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to go back there. When I thought about telling you, it was for it to be easier on me and I didn’t want to be selfish in that way. I thought maybe it was better to protect you,” you explain. 

“You don’t need to protect me, doll. That was the best night I had had in those years. Thank you for that,” Bucky smiles and you can see the emotions in his eyes.

“You’re welcome. Well, um, it’s getting late,” you say lamely. A tension had formed in the air and it was unnerving you. You found yourself wanting to fling yourself into Bucky’s arms, wanting to find that release he had once provided. You stand swiftly, reminding yourself that one night didn’t mean anything. At least, not romantically. It was just two people seeking comfort in each other. Survivors finding solace together and you couldn’t get wrapped up in it. Because, the truth was, you wanted to fall for the man in front of you and you didn’t trust yourself to. “Good night, Bucky,” you say as you cross to the door. 

“Uh, night, doll. Sleep well,” Bucky says quickly. 

“You, too,” you say as you exit. You flee to your room, knowing that sleep wouldn’t come any time soon. 

Part 8

Updates and taglist: My taglist is currently full. Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction and turn on notifications for updates. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when an update or new story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

@badassbaker@finleyjayne@harrysthiccthighss@rebekahdawkins@learisa@liebs82@blackkflamecandle@saiyanprincessswanie@rainbowkisses31@whisperlullaby@thejemersoninferno@thehumanistsdiary@supraveng@chrisevansbaby@randomfandompenguin@hiddles-rose@buckysnumberonegirll@jbbarnesgirl@late-to-the-party-81@bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky@ysmmsy@looking-for-another-world@colereads@happypopcornprincess@mrsbarnes107th@sebsgirl71479@palaiasaurus64@ginger-swag-rapunzel@buckyywiththegoodhair@wonderbreadbucky@vicmc624@shamelessfangirl-3@eclecticpatrolroadlawyer@red42985@themorningsunshine@imjustace

[evita-shelby]

The Ghost of New Year's Past

Or Polly decided to pop in and now its about Tommy & Diane(oc child) & ghost!Polly who has unfinished business.

Cw: Tommy’s canon depression and guilt over Polly’s death and baby's first contact with the dead(applies to both Tom and Diane)

Could be read as witch!Reader being Tommy’s wife or Eva since no name is mentioned.

He can’t bring himself to drink anymore.

He died that night on the field because in his heart he knew Polly had died because of him.

He sees her and hears her amongst his family as they celebrate the new year and Tommy leaves before it becomes too much.

Tommy has no idea where he is going when he passes by the children’s rooms and hears his eldest daughter, Diane, whispering to someone.

The children had been allowed to stay as late as they wanted but most had already been put to bed by now. In fact he’d personally tucked his little witch into her pink bed and kissed her goodnight hours ago.

“Can I tell daddy you’re here?” the little girl asks as her excitement has her talking just loud enough for him to hear her as he stops at her door.

Tommy cannot guess who would be here with Di, but none of them would be a good idea even if they were harmless little girls. Allie Solomons, Bianca Sabini, Janey Dogs, the little Gold girl who hates him for Aberama’s death, that friend of hers from school, the list goes on as Diane is ---unfortunately--- everyone’s friend.

“Di, sweetheart, I thought you said you were tired.” He comes in to find her sitting on her little table alone with biscuits and cake that she’d somehow gotten downstairs. He knew it was a bad idea to let her learn ballet, now the little witch moved as silently as she got up to mischief.

A trait she inherited from both him and his wife.

There is flash of light ivory satin on the bed in the corner of his eye, perhaps a dress or shawl Diane had taken out to play, but the room is otherwise empty.

“I was, but Aunt Polly came in and I asked her to stay.” The little girl with blue and brown eyes smiles widely and looks at the bed and he follows her line of sight. “She says she can’t have cake and biscuits because ghosts don’t need food like we do.”

“Hello, Thomas, did you miss me?” the ghost of his aunt sits there on the pink bed in the French dress his grandma stole, smoking a cigarette as if nothing had changed.

As if he hadn’t killed her and Barney and Aberama a year ago today.

“How?” he asks doing his best not to panic but feeling every hair on the back of neck rise in fear.

“Hmm, even with a witch for a wife you still do not believe we have magic in our blood.” Polly smiles and gestures him to sit on the bed.

“See I told you he wouldn’t believe it even if he saw me.” She turned to his daughter who tries to calm him with her small doll like hand in his.

“It’s okay, daddy, it’s just Aunt Polly.”

He can’t speak, his tongue feels heavy in his mouth and his head spins. Tommy has never fainted in his life and now he tries to hold into something as he feels light-headed.

“And your dear old mummy thought none of you inherited her gifts.” The ghost woman chuckled but refused to touch him.

“How?” he asks again as he shut his eyes and hears Diane leave him alone here with whatever Polly is now.

“Our magical blood allows me to visit those with our gifts and sweet little Di is the most magical of all.” His aunt, his second closest confidant explained. “and I cannot ascend as I have unfinished business, dear nephew of mine.”

“What do you need to pass on?” he asks thinking perhaps if he helps her pass over to the other side he will have peace.

“I need you to swear you won’t kill my son. Even if my Michael believes you killed me, I need you to show him mercy and kill the fucking people who did.”

But that includes me, Pol, he wants to say.

“That is the guilt speaking, Tom. You didn’t kill us, or me least of all. Swing just knows how to get under your skin.” She reads minds now, but Polly always knew him better than he knew himself. “So, Thomas Shelby, do I have your word?”

“Will you never come back if he says yes?” Diane asked with a quivering lip from the door, she’d not left as he thought she did.

“No, sweetheart, I can’t leave until the bad people are gone. And when I go to heaven I will come every All Soul's Day.” The ghost answered softly and the girl calmed down long enough to rejoin them on her bed.

“So, Thomas Shelby, do you promise to do as I asked?” she turned to him again, a bit sterner somewhat impatient as they hear Arthur and John coming up with John’s children.

“Yes, Pol, you have my word.”

[kimmiessimmies]

What Went Before: James and Leona

Before we get into the next chapter of the story, it's good to have a little recap of all that went before regarding James and Leona. It's long, but hopefully interesting. Read under the cut below!

James (with a blanket around his shoulders) met Leona on the rooftop of The Factory, the Honeycomb Hills nightclub, in February 06. Up until that point, we had seen James as a carefree and especially attachment-free university student. He had a reputation for not making commitments and had many one-night stands. As things stand now, we know there was a lot more to it than met the eye, but at that point, none of that was clear yet.

James immediately noticed Leona wasn't quite like the other girls he'd met at university. She didn't judge his lifestyle and as it turned out in the conversation they had that first night, Leona knew what it was like to have baggage.

She told James about her past during which abuse had played a big part, and her story resonated with James. Of course, James had his own issues, but he had never told anyone about any of it because to him, it seemed everyone else lived a happy life. To hear Leona speak so openly about the horrors of her childhood, really touched something in James.

The next morning, Leona was gone. She had left a note thanking James for the great time they had, but no number.

During the weeks that followed, James found he couldn't get this fascinating girl off his mind. His friends immediately jumped on this thinking James had finally developed romantic feelings for someone. Initially, this annoyed James. But the more they said it, the more he thought it may be true...

Eventually, he decided to look for the mysterious Leona. And he found her. Again on the roof of the nightclub. She confessed she had been thinking a lot about him, too, but Leona's past had made her terribly afraid of commitment. However, James also didn't want any commitment, and they agreed to start a casual, open type of "situationship."

As time passed, James continued to be in doubt. He had never experienced the feeling of being in love, but deep down, he really wanted to. Was this it? This thing with Leona? He was very unsure. Yes, he liked her. Yes, he felt comfortable with her, and she was easy to talk to. He even told her about everything that had been troubling him for so long and, eventually, also about the self-harm... But was he in love? Somehow, it didn't feel that way...

In May 06, James' sister Eva got married in Monte Vista. Everyone had received a "plus one" invite, and James decided to bring Leona. Now, this seemed like a big commitment, but for James, it was sort of a test of his feelings. He still secretly wanted to experience feeling in love, and maybe this could be, or become, it after all? For Leona, it was a free trip to Monte Vista, so she was game. James' mum, Patty, was quite annoyed by James bringing Leona to the wedding. He didn't even call her his girlfriend, so why was she there?

Months passed, and James realised that, no, this wasn't love. But it was a good thing they had going anyway: commitment-free, great sex, and good talks on top of that. Everything between James and Leona was open and honest. They gave each other their freedom and spoke freely about just about anything. Neither one of them wanted this to be a relationship, and they were fine with the other person sleeping with other people, too. Not that either of them did. The randomers James had sex with before had always been because sex distracted his mind, and he didn't need to do that anymore now. And Leona was also fine with having James to booty call whenever she needed to get her kicks.

Leona was there for James when his thoughts became too dark. Until the night when James told Sadie about part of his issues, no one except Leona knew about any of it. Even though his friends have caught on that James isn't okay, they don't know what's up. Leona is still the only one who knows everything. But she never stayed the night. She didn't want to, and he didn't really feel the need to have her close in that way either. James and Leona were never cuddly.

Since Sadie started university in October 07, James and Leona saw a bit less of each other. Not that they saw each other on a daily or even weekly basis before, but since then, it became less. Not because James fell instantly in love with Sadie (he didn't), but because Sadie's start at uni also meant she returned to The Hot Wings and all the plans (and songs) that had been gathering dust on the shelf for a year and a half finally took off.

In January 08, after their smashing debut album release performance, James and Sadie slept together (pictured above is Sadie, not Leona). There had been a lot of built-up tension, and that night it had to be released.

James told Leona about it the next day. She was surprised but obviously fine about it. From the way James talked about Sadie, Leona did suspect there might be a bit more to it, but when asked, James waved that away.

Leona also told James during that same conversation she felt they were keeping each other steady, but neither one of them was actually moving forward with regard to their respective issues and that she was thinking of getting professional help for hers.

And that takes us to where we are now. It's worth noting that James hasn't seen, let alone had sex with, Leona since Sadie started spending the night with him.

We'll see Leona again very soon when the story continues.

[doc-pickles]

sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch 7)

series masterlist

summary: vivie’s birthday party!

warnings: a little angst hehehe

notes: have fuuuuun!

xoxo

nina

“Mr. Sid! You’re here!”

Sid has barely walked through the door of Annie’s house before Vivie was in front of him. A braid twisted with pink ribbon adorns her golden curls, matching the pale pink dress that has glitter and flowers all over it.

“I am, couldn’t miss your party,” Sid grinned as Vivie hugged his legs. “I even wore my nicest shirt.”

Vivie examines the dark blue button down before nodding and dragging Sid further into the house. Geno and Anna are already standing in the kitchen, talking with another set of parents who are holding an infant not much bigger than Eva. There’s some more parents mixed in with the kids that are running around their feet and Sidney suddenly feels very out of place.

“Hey stranger,” Annie’s voice is a welcome reprieve as Sidney turns to her, his breath catching in his throat. She’s dressed in a simple light blue and white dress that flows around her calves, her wild blonde curls pulled away from her face with a ribbon. “Welcome to the fun zone.”

“It’s definitely something,” Sid chuckles as he surveys the room. “I feel out of place, everyone seems so… In their element surrounded by kids.”

Annie places one hand on his arm and rolls her eyes, “You’ll fit in fine. Don’t be a wuss, Crosby.”

Sid laughs at the annoyed expression on Annie’s face, the sound alerting Geno to his best friend's presence. He wanders over, Eva cuddled up on his shoulder, and greets Sid and Annie.

“Sid you take Eva, have to wrangle Niki before he start jumping off couches,” Geno doesn’t give Sid a chance to respond before handing Eva over and walking off.

To his credit Sidney easily takes the infant, Eva only fussing for a moment before she settles into the cradle of his arms. Annie watches him intently, noting how he’s begun to sway slowly as he whispers to Eva.

“Hey sweet girl, sorry daddy dropped you with Uncle Sid,” Sid smiles and runs a finger down the baby’s chubby cheek. “S’okay. You’re much calmer than your brother was, he would’ve been screaming by now.”

“I don’t think Vivie was ever that small,” Annie whispers as she peeks over Sid’s shoulder. “She’s so precious with those cheeks.”

“Did Vivie have chubby cheeks like that?” Sid sways slowly as he keeps his eyes trained on Eva. “My mom said I did until I was a toddler but I think Viv is too old to be able to tell now.”

The comment rips a hole in the middle of their conversation, the words bringing up the ugly realities of their situation. Annie takes a step back and Sidney immediately tries to stop her from leaving.

“Annie I didn’t mean-“

“It’s fine Sid. You two are very cute, you’re a natural,” Annie comments, voice thick as she presses a hand to her chest. “I have to- I’m sorry. I need to go.”

Annie rushes from the room without another word, leaving Sid standing dumbfounded as he looks at her retreating form. A hand settles on his arm and Anna is standing there with a sad smile, “Give me baby. You go chase after your girl.”

Eva is carefully handed from Sid to Anna before he follows after Annie with a quick thanks thrown behind him.

+

“Look at you,” Sid turns and grins at Annie as she sidles up next to him. Her hand falls to his arm as she peeks over his shoulder. “He’s beautiful, looks like Kris.”

Sidney’s house was crawling with Penguins players and their families celebrating the holiday season. Sid held Alex Letang, Kris and Catherine’s newborn, as everyone else milled about. The infant had finally fallen asleep in his arms and he didn’t want to disturb him.

“I’m thinking we can have a few of these,” Sid muses as he looks at Annie with a sly grin. “A boy first. With your blonde curls.”

Annie blushes and leans her head onto Sid’s shoulder, “How about a little girl with your eyes?”

“One of each,” Sid turns slightly to press a kiss to Annie’s hair. “I can’t wait to have a family with you.”

“Someday.”

“Someday”

+

Annie is standing in the backyard, hands braced on the top of a wooden picnic table as her shoulders shake. Sid quietly closes the slider behind him, standing and watching Annie for a moment.

“Annie,” Sid’s single word has Annie whirling around, tears streaking her cheeks. There's no words exchanged between them as they meet each other's eyes. Sidney slowly makes his way across the deck and Annie finally speaks when he’s standing right in front of her.

“I… I had dreams for years of a white picket fence and kids and a dog,” Annie sniffles, looking away from him. “I had everything planned out, how we’d buy a big house in Sewickley and what color our mailbox would be and our wedding that wouldn’t be huge but would still be a blast. All of it Sid…”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about Vivie,” Sid’s tone isn’t accusing or venomous as his fingers brush over her bare shoulder. “We could’ve had all of that.”

“Because you made me feel alone Sid,” Annie huffs out the words, still facing away from him. “You made me feel like I didn’t have a partner and that… I would be raising our baby alone. And I thought that maybe it would be easier to truly do it alone instead of you only being there when it was convenient for you.”

“Annie-“

“And I left. I knew I was pregnant and I left and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” Annie sobs. “I don’t have regrets Sid, I never have. But seeing you with Eva… It broke something in me. And I'm sorry I can’t give you back that time with Vivie. I wish things had gone differently but when I left Pittsburgh I felt like I had no one and coming back wasn’t an option.”

“You could’ve come back, you could’ve had me, Annie,” Sid pleads as he steps in closer to her.

“But that’s why I left! I didn’t feel like I had you when you were still there,” Annie cries as she turns and meets Sidney’s eyes. “I was so alone while we were still sharing a bed. Did you know Vivie was conceived the only time we slept together in two months?”

Sid doesn’t have a rebuttal as he stares at Annie with a blank expression. His heart is racing as they stand chest to chest, mind spinning as he takes in everything she’s saying.

“I wanted you to be there so badly Sidney, I really did,” Annie sniffles, her voice gone rigid and emotionless. “But you weren’t and I didn’t want Vivie to feel like that too. So I left.”

And there, Sid thinks, is the truth of everything that had happened between them. Annie needed him and he wasn’t there. And she didn’t trust him to be there for their daughter either.

Annie heaves a sigh and closes her eyes, chest shaking with the weight of the tears she’s holding back. When she opens them again she meets Sid’s eyes and cups his chin.

“I don’t have regrets but I wish you were there for me. I wish things could’ve turned out differently. Maybe we were just in the right place at the wrong time,” Annie sighs before she walks away toward the house.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there,” Sid says, stopping Annie in her tracks. “I was… so wrapped up in myself that hurt everyone around me, including you. But I promise I’ll be there for you and for Vivienne. And if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you then I will.”

Annie doesn’t respond, just stands there for a moment before finally going back inside. Once the slider is closed Sid falls onto the seat of the picnic bench, head in his hands as he evens out his breathing.

+

“Happy birthday dear Vivie! Happy birthday to you!”

A loud cheer echoes as Vivie blows out the candles on her cake. Sid is positioned toward the back of the crowd but he can still see Vivie’s wide smile as Annie kisses her cheek.

“You still have chance,” Anna’s voice jolts him out of his thoughts as he turns towards her. “She love you, can see in her eyes.”

“Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t trust me,” Sid shrugs, not wanting to give himself false hope. “I wasn’t there when she needed me.”

“Then be there now. Be there for Annie and Vivie,” Anya settles a hand on Sid’s shoulder and squeezes the spot. “You have second chance, don’t blow it.”

Sid watches as Vivie swipes some frosting on Annie’s face, both of them laughing together. He wants this more than anything, to use his second chance to be a real family together.

Sid loves Annie and he loves Vivie and he doesn’t want to be apart from them ever again. And if it takes him the rest of his life to show Annie what the two of them mean to him then he’ll do it.

+

Later that night Vivie is worn out as she climbs into bed and lets out a yawn. Annie smirks at the little girl as she brushes her curls back and presses a kiss to her forehead, “Did you have a good birthday?”

“Yes mama,” Vivie snuggles into her side. “And I made such a good birthday wish.”

“Did you wish for unicorns to live in the backyard?”

“No mommy that’s silly,” Vivie giggles as she swipes at her eyes, holding back a yawn. “‘m not supposed to tell you my wish or it won’t come true.”

Bringing the comforter up to under Vivie’s chin Annie smiles wistfully at her daughter. She’s half asleep now, her peaceful face reminding Annie so much of Sidney.

“I wished for my daddy to come home, so I can have one like everyone else,” Vivie mumbles the last part as she snuggles down into her pillow. “Night mama.”

“Goodnight sweet girl,” Annie whispers, choking back tears. It’s not until she’s in her bedroom that she lets her tears fall, wrapping herself in her blankets and crying until sleep overtakes her.

[fantasy-relax]

Incorrect

Warning: mention of suicide

An office, a blonde alone going through the paperwork needed to keep the school running smoothly.

*The materials necessary for the class laboratory practice...*

How many times have she done this? How many have she read this?

"Miranda you need to rest. Do you want to go have breakfast with me?"

...

How many times have you chosen to be next to her?

She hates to think about it because she hates the answer.

... One

You were with her one time, working with her.

"The next pen you throw at me I'll keep, now please don't make the next student cry, I'm begging you. Smiling won't kill you! .. okay now try to make look less psychotic."

Taking care of her.

"I'm sorry to wake you up but sleeping in your desk isn't good for you, especially at your age. OUCH"

She don't understand how it could happen, everything was wrong, you weren't the right *you*.

There was not a trace of the memories you had shared with her and every time you shared a moment so similar to the past her hopes took flight only to fall when there was not a hint of recognition on your face.

And yet she knew that look of love and adoration on your face.

You loved her, you were with her and in time you would recover your memory, that should have been enough...

But when you started talking about the future, about your career, about your desire to have at least two children...

"Two?"

"I feel like just one would be a little lonely for her or him, having someone next to her other than us would be better, we won't live forever they need company, brotherhood"

"..."

"Names aren't my thing, so you can name them yourself."

"Eva"

"And if it's a boy, we'll call him Adam?, I'm just joking, Eva is a good name."

"..." Nothing. There was nothing in your eyes. No reaction to hearing the name of the daughter that both of you lost.

"Miri?"

"..." Miri, not pretty bird or something similar. Just Miri, you've never called her that, until now.

"Dear?" Mistake. Wrong. It was the wrong you.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have laughed, the name is important to you. Forgive me, Miranda"

You kissed her right hand. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. You always used to kiss the left. Always. Wrong. Wrong. Incorrect

"Love? Wh-ugh." She'll fix it. She always does it.

"UHG"  She will reset the loop. Next time you will be perfect. You will remember her, you will understand why she did it and you will forgive her. Because you will finally be the right *you*.

"Miff-ugh-ra" And then she'll bring Eva back and everything will be perfect.

"..." She hug your body, in a few more moments she will call to make preparations.

Everything will be perfect.

---

But you didn't come back.

You changed route.

You fell in love with someone else.

Sometimes your decisions ended up costing you your life.

Sometimes they had their stupid happy ending. Ignoring what they had done, what they had stolen.

But she would reset the loop as many times as necessary, she would endure millennia to have you by her side.

Until an accident destroyed her method of restoring it.

And that thieving bitch had you chained next to her.

"Why don't you take them by force?" One of the cult members had commented.

She tried. She gave you everything. She did everything. But your memories didn't come back. Your hatred only grew until your desperation was too much.

"Your love is a poison that corrodes my health and my soul, everything you love rots in your hands, I refuse to live on your terms. I will die on mine"

It was what you wrote before ending your life.

And no matter how she tried to get closer to you or tried to control you, the result was the same with almost the same words.

It was something she couldn't stand.

So her only hope was to restart and wait for you to choose her.

Now that is impossible. The repair would take decades to complete.

She thought about killing you, denying that damn woman the privilege of your love. But without the loop your soul would be free to wander, it took a long time to find you, so the best option was to wait for everything to be ready.

--------------------

She signed the papers and continued working. There was no point in thinking about that. You will return to her.

You promised to love her. Until death do us part. Already did it

Yes, Miranda can wait for the arrival of your correct self.

If she had accepted you just the way you were, you would be together watching a movie with Eva, lying in a pillow fort with your arm on her shoulders and Eva on your lap. You would touch her gently and not with violence, you would kiss her with passion and not with disgust, you would look at her with love and not with hate.

You would had gone back to her if only she had been able to let you go in the first place.

[cocogum]

Amalia gives me major pansexual vibes✨💖💛💙

(a rant on why you should think so, too)

Yeah, this is canon I don’t care.

One thing that you need to know about Amalia is that she gives off MAJOR SUS VIBES and I’m so done with waiting for someone to say it first. So here I go.

You can’t tell me that the way she kept staring at her bodyguard in season 1 wasn’t gay. There’s no way. If Armand wanted her then so was Amalia lol.

Eva doesn’t usually make herself look so girlish, she’s always uptight and thinks about work first. But every time she did have her hair down and tried to look her best (whether she did it intentionally or not), Amalia would LITERALLY BLUSH. Like we’re not talking about a pink blush that we barely see to the point where you have to squint your eyes to see it. No, no we’re talking about RED RED.

And I have two scenes you can see in Season 1 to prove it!

Exhibit A : “The Ugly Pageant” (Season 1 episode 4)

This episode started it all!

So if we fast forward to the scene where the group learns that the doors to the castle only opens to cursed princesses, Yugo gets the idea that they should dress to look the part in order to get inside. They get dressed and compliment how weird they all look before Eva comes out of the bushes to reveal herself.

Okay first of all, let me just say how cute it was for Amalia to try and convince Eva to let her help her 💕 she’s such a cute bestie 💕✨

Second of all, DO YOU SEE THAT BLUSH?!? Ruel and Yugo were just as surprised as Amalia but they weren’t blushing!! Only Amalia was!! Like what kind of reaction is that when you see your bodyguard dressing up?? THAT’S NOT A NORMAL REACTION! Also look at how red her blush is, it’s FREAKING PINKISH RED.

LOOK AT IT ‼️‼️

But if you think that the blush in the Ugly Princess episode was only on Amalia’s face because she was wearing some actual blush, then YOU’RE SORELY MISTAKEN.

Because here she is, not even a second earlier. She’s got no makeup blush on!

I find it funny and cute to believe that that scene could’ve very well been Amalia’s awakening. Cuz like imagine not waking up to THIS:

CASE CLOSED: AMALIA WAS ACTUALLY BLUSHING IN THAT SCENE.

And now here’s another scene I want to show you.

Yes there’s more! ✨✨

Exhibit B : “Vampyro” (Season 1 episode 6)

THIS ONE DOESN’T EVEN TRY TO HIDE AMALIA’S FRUITINESS.

Cuz not even two episodes have passed, and we’ve already got ANOTHER SCENE where she blushes YET AGAIN at Eva!!

Gruffon brings the group to Fourfoot, a shady town with a gloomy atmosphere. Gruffon insists that they need to pass through it to go to Oma Island so the group decides to stay and sleep in an inn for the night. But it turns out that the leader of the town was possessed by a level 5 shushu by the name of Ombrage (also known as Shadowfang in the English ver.) and she specifically told him to bring Eva to her so she can possess her and be freed from her prison.

Vampyro manages to get Eva and this causes Amalia to scream at the guy to give her crush bodyguard back.

Fast forward, the group eventually gets to Vampyro’s place, followed by Dally too, and THIS IS WHERE I LOSE MY SHIT-

Cuz as soon as they get inside, Amalia is faced with an unconscious Eva looking like she’s in the process of being possessed.

AND WHAT DOES THIS BITCH DO?!?!? SHE BLUSHES!!!

LIKE EXCUSE ME?????

I get that Eva looks really good in that outfit but you gotta stop!! You’re blushing at the wrong time! 😭😭 Even Dally had some decency to not focus too much on how she looked in that moment 😩😩

AMALIA TOTALLY HAD AN INNOCENT ONE-SIDED CRUSH ON HER IT WAS SO OBVIOUS PLZ-

I can still go on and on and talk about all the other things Amalia went through with Eva (like the time she snapped and let the Tree of Life possess her body when she heard Eva’s screams, or when Amalia held Eva’s hand before showing her THE MOST SACRED PLACE IN THE SADIDA KINGDOM THAT ONLY THE ROYALS CAN HAVE ACCESS TO, etc, etc.) but I believe she was mostly worried for Eva since they were getting an actual friendship between each other.

But it doesn’t change the fact that Amalia blushed at Eva EVERY TIME SHE LOOKED BETTER THAN NORMAL.

I rest my cases.

The answer is obvious at this point.

Also, it’s not like Ankama never portrayed any lgbtq+ characters in the past before.

In the show “The Treasures of Kerubim” (which is all about Kerubim telling his past adventures to young Joris), there are two reoccurring lesbian characters: an osamodas named Simone and an ecaflip named Julie.

Simone is the housemaid of Kerubim’s house (which is a literal shushu lol) so we get to see her often in pretty much all the episodes while Julie, a hairdresser from Astrub, gets to be seen from time to time since she’s Simone’s girlfriend. Keep in mind that this specific show came out in 2013 so not only was Ankama depicting lgbtq+ material but they were also NEVER afraid of showcasing the two girls loving each other and even plainly showing it when they had the chance (for example, there was even A FULL EPISODE THAT HAD ONE OF THEIR DATES IN IT)

So if Ankama can make obvious lesbian pairs without trying to lower it down or trying to exaggerate it back in 2013, who’s to say that they couldn’t make Amalia blush when seeing Eva dressing up BECAUSE she had some kind of crush for her in the beginning?

All I can say is that based on the pieces of evidence that we got, I suspect that Amalia could be bi or pan.

I’m leaning more toward pan though because she was able to love Yugo even though he has his dragon blood problem. (<- this truly made her look like she cared more for his personality rather than how he looked)

Actually, I bet that she would still love the guy even if he was a full-grown woman too 😆😆

(Female!Yugo x Amalia is my guilty ship and I can’t help it, it’s super cute. I think about it so many times while i’m also thinking about Yugo x Amalia 😩😩)

SO YEAH PANSEXUAL AMALIA IS REAL AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 04

"We have to use fourteen-year-olds to pilot the Evas. And we have to make rainbow scans of their skinny little butts! The future of mankind depends on it!"

This episode, Shinji runs away from home. Or maybe he's going back to wherever he lived before he came to Tokyo-3, so he's running away to home? He's running away is the point here.

Misato isn't very surprised to discover this, but she's still frustrated. Then Shinji's classmates, Suzuhara and the other guy... I was gonna look him up but I looked up Suzuhara and just got spoiled so fuck that. We're calling him Big Rigg Mahoney now. Yeah, Suzuhara's taller, but I don't care. We're going with it.

Anyway, Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney show up at Misato's apartment because they haven't seen Shinji at school for days. Suzuhara wants to apologize for punching Shinji in Episode 3. He only did it because he blamed Shinji for fighting the Angel so close to the city, which got his sister hospitalized, but his sister chewed him out for this, and he and Big Rigg Mahoney got a first-hand look at what it's like for Shinji when he's piloting that Eva. That's his motivation, Big Rigg Mahoney's mostly involved because he likes war movies and likes playing soldier, and he's fascinated by the Evas, NERV Agency, etc.

They did not expect a grown woman to be living in Shinji's apartment, so they hand her his assignments from school and leave, but now they think Shinji is even cooler, because he's a badass pilot and he's living with a hot babe.

Let me get this out of the way: I did find this episode much more enjoyable than the last one. I had a good feeling about it, since the next-episode preview promised that Shinji would run away, which was encouraging because at least Shinji would have to make a conscious decision and act upon it, like some sort of fictional character might do. But then it occurred to me that maybe Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney might have kidnapped Shinji and told him to run away, in a misguided attempt to help him. And Shinji would be like "hai!" and go AWOL simply because someone told him to. That would suck, so when these two show up early in the episode and they have no idea where he went either, it was very reassuring.

Not that it's too much of a change for Shinji. He's off on his own, but he's still mopey and dead inside. He rides the subway all the way to the end of the line, listening to his playlist of "Track 25" and "Track 26" over and over again the whole way. Then he realizes he has to "go back". I'm not sure what that means, but I assume he's talking about going back to Tokyo-3, since he doesn't seem to have a destination in mind. And yet, he's in no hurry, stopping off at a movie theater that's running some sort of film festival of Second Impact documentaries.

He watches a couple making out in the theater. I don't know if he's envious or fascinated or disgusted, or he just doesn't know what else to do.

Meanwhile, Misato discusses Shinji's disappearance with Ritsuko. We flash back to the aftermath of the battle in Episode 3. Misato had ordered Shinji to retreat before his Eva ran out of power, but Shinji went gonzo and killed the Angel instead. She scolded him for ignoring her orders, but he acted cavalier about it, reminding her that they won, so it doesn't really matter. She warned him that his attitude will only get him killed, and he replied that his attitude doesn't matter, because he's the only one who can pilot the Eva. It's either Shinji or Rei (who's still injured), or nobody, so they might as well let Shinji fuck around and find out. If he gets himself killed they're no worse off than if he doesn't pilot the Eva at all.

In hindsight, Misato is kind of relieved he's gone, because at least this way he won't bring this fatalistic mentality onto the battlefield. The disconnect here is that she's some sort of career soldier, with loyalties and duties and causes to respect. Shinji got drafted last month, and he doesn't want to do this and he's only participating because he's the indispensible man. But Shinji hates himself, so if he gets killed through incompetence, it's no better or worse than winning every battle, or abandoning his post. It's all the same to him, he's got nothing to gain or lose here.

Meanwhile, Shinji happens upon Big Rigg Mahoney, who's playing soldier out in the middle of nowhere. He's got a uniform and a tent and everything. When he spots Shinji he invites him over for whatever he's cooking, and they hang out. See, this is nice. Shinji took matters into his own hands, and now he's hanging out with his friend, Big Rigg Mahoney.

Finally, a bunch of goons from NERV show up and take Shinji into custody. The next day, Suzuhara is upset to hear the Big Rigg Mahoney let them take Shinji without a fight, but come on, man. Big Rigg Mahoney didn't get this far in life without learning to know when to fight and when to take it easy.

Back at the base, Shinji expects Misato to scold him, but she doesn't. She just asks him if he enjoyed his time away, and he says he doesn't know. Classic Shinji. They continue their argument from before. He doesn't want to pilot the Eva because he sucks at it and it's scary and painful, but he doesn't think it's right to leave it all up to Rei and the others. Misato tells him that has nothing to do with it. If he's only forcing himself to go along with this, then he'll never be in the right mindset to do any good as an Eva pilot. Better if he just calls it quits now and forgets he ever got involved.

Meanwhile, Shinji's dad could not give a shit less whether Shinji leaves or not. He's already figuring out what to do when he's gone. If Shinji won't pilot Eva Unit 01, then they'll just reconfigure it for Rei. Apparently that's a thing they can do now. I thought each pilot had their own specific Eva Unit they were bonded to, but I guess not. According to this conversation, Rei was injured while piloting Unit 00, but it wasn't in combat. They were just running experiments on Unit 00 to get it working, and there must have been an accident.

So some of this is becoming clearer. We still don't know why only certain teenagers can pilot the Evas, but we do know that there are others besides Rei and Shinji. They just haven't located very many candidates, so it's not like Shinji is completely irreplaceable. And Rei is recovering, so there's that. And Shinji can resign whenever he wants. He only got arrested last night because he left without resigning. Today, he's decided to go through with it, and NERV doesn't seem sorry to see him go. Shinji asks if he can say farewell to Misato, but they're like "You quit, so you're not authorized to see her." At this point all NERV cares about is escorting him off their base.

Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney do show up to see him off, though. Suzuhara finally apologizes to Shinji for punching him, and insists that Shinji punch him back to restore his honor. Shinji reluctantly agrees, and at first he kind of holds back, but then Suzuhara tells him to hit like he means it, and he does. See, this is nice.

Shinji apologizes for leaving Tokyo-3 in a lurch, but the boys are used to classmates moving out, and they know how hard it is for Shinji to pilot the Eva, so they don't blame him for quitting. Suzuhara promises to beat up anyone who doesn't respect Shinji's decision to leave.

Finally the NERV goons decide it's time for him to go to the train station, but he pulls away just long enough to tell Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney that he has been cowardly and weak after all. It's like he's having second thoughts about the whole thing.

Back at the base, Misato mulls the whole thing over, and it finally hits her that this is how Shinji expresses his feelings. He runs away and waits for someone to care that he's gone. Realizing this, she rushes to the train station to see him, but she sees the train pull out just as she arrives. For a second she thinks she was too late, but then when the train is gone...

They see each other on either side of the tracks. Shinji couldn't go through with leaving, I suppose because Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney were enough to make him question his decision. But now he looks up and sees Misato cared about him too, and that puts him over the hump.

Then Shinji declares that he's home, and Misato replies "Welcome home." And that's a beautiful moment. Everything kind of came together. Now I'm starting to see what the fuss is about here.

I stand by my criticism of Episode 3, though. I don't think they needed four episodes of this show to get to this moment. Two episodes, maybe. They could have ditched all those scenes of Shinji staring at Misato's beer cans in Episode 2, and trimmed a lot of fat from Episode 3. Suzuhara could have found out about Shinji being an Eva pilot some other way before the episode started, instead of that long scene in the classroom.

Still, we're here. Shinji has decided that he actually cares about Tokyo-3 and its people, and he wants to pilot the Eva to protect his home, not just because someone else told him to do it. We'll see how well that goes, but it's a big step forward.

Also, the next episode preview shows Rei looking healthy and doing things, so that seems like a big improvement too. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

[karizard-ao3]

At fourteen, the pilots haven't matured yet and are going through that difficult period of being teenagers. Can you imagine what Shinji's relationships would be like if they didn't need to pilot the evas and came to know each other for a longer time, like from 14 to 18 years old?

You know, it's kind of hard to picture because they got to know each other due to becoming pilots, so I guess I'll start by putting them in a different setting where they can be coworkers of sorts but without all the trauma.

Okay, let's see. This is also tricky because most 14 year olds these days don't have jobs.

A school club, then?

Lol let's do Lego robotics. They don't pilot mechas. They build little Lego robots and program them to complete tasks. It's like a tiny, non-traumatizing version of the Evangelions.

In fact, Evangelions can be their team name and their chief rival is the Angels. Misato is their advisor, with the help of Ritsuko, who teaches science at their high school.

Gendo forces Shinji to join the club because it will look good on his college apps. Rei, Shinji's cousin or young aunt, was also encouraged to join by Gendo, but they have a good relationship so she's okay with it. Asuka transferred to their school from Germany and believes that she is the superior Lego builder because she grew up in a closer geographical vicinity to Denmark. She has been to the Danish Legoland.

So I think freshman year we can anticipate that their relationships will be pretty similar to canon. They're 14. They're brimming with hormones and irrational feelings. Shinji's got severe daddy issues. They do not function well as a team, particularly him and Asuka. Shinji accidentally befriends Kaworu online, only to discover when they meet in person that he is a memeber of the Angels Lego robotics team. Tragedy ensues.

I remember 15 being an absolute clusterfuck of a year. Like, peak teen angst. So I think they're probably all going through some stuff but maybe this is what starts to bring them together? Not at first. At first they are all real shits, but then I think they might start to develop some empathy and be able to see themselves in each other. It all comes to a head during a high stakes Lego robotics competition they're holding out of town. For whatever reason, they have a lot riding on the line. Maybe we can borrow from the ballroom dancing au and decide that Lego robotics is going to get axed as a school program if they don't start getting some wins (they did really bad the year before). Or maybe they'll lose funding? Anyway. The team bonds when, at the competitions, they each take turns having breakdowns and comforting each other. They begin to learn to work together and realize that team work does indeed make the dream work.

By age 16, they're starting to calm down. One of them gets a car so they drive to get snacks or whatever after Lego club pretty regularly. Shinji and Asuka are starting to figure out how to talk to eachother without triggering Armageddon while Asuka and Rei are starting to do girls activities with each other.

Oh, gosh. This is getting long and my mind is also wandering because it's getting close to my bedtime. Anyway, I think basically they just, over time as their wee little brains finish developing, start to be able to collaborate and see things from each other's perspective and they become a formidable Lego robotics team and go to nationals and then onto worldwide events. Gendo is happy with Shinji for once. Rei and Asuka go on Lego Masters together after they graduate and then Rei gets a job at Lego HQ in Denmark.

I feel like that didn't really answer your question. I don't really know why it turned into being about Lego robots, but here we are. I think, in short, the answer is, they start out butting heads and having conflicts because they are thrown together into a teamwork situation that they are not ready for (and also they are not good at team activities). Over time, they learn to work together and accept each others' differences and flaws. Eventually, they are able to collaborate and kind of learn and grow from each other's influence. They make up for each other's weaknesses by offering up their strengths. I think we get little bits of them trying to learn to work together in NGE but, unfortunately, they don't get the opportunity to succeed because they run out of time and must each face the end of the world almost entirely on their own.

God, I am tired af. I don't even know if I'm making sense. Stopping while I'm mostly ahead.

[maisha133]

ACFTL was disappointing

Okay so it is currently 1:41 AM and I have finished reading A Curse for True Love and I have been let down and just wanted to get my thoughts out

Jacks characterization was the biggest down fall; The book is basically about Evangeline pinning for Jack but I wished it was the other way around; Jacks finds out Evangeline lost her memories and avoids him because she believes he is dangerous and he gets pissed off and desperately tries to get her back. I think this change in story telling would have allowed so much character growth for Jacks considering the fact he is so cold and calculating and having him grow desperate to have Evangeline by his side shows how much she had affected him and also showcase his humanity/vulnerability in his desperation to have her by his side as opposed to being cold and indifferent which leads me to the next point

JACKS BEING AN ASSHOLE-Literally every Evakjacks scene starts like this Jacks says a sassy/asshole dialogue>save Evangeline>Evangeline swoons>Jacks goes back to being an asshole again. Now I get Jacks often puts out a cold front because he doesn't want to be too close to Evangeline and hurt her. But we are three books in and it is established that Jacks loves her. So I don't understand the unnecessary rudeness like ie coming in the middle of the night tossing clothes at her face as she is waking up and almost knocking her off the bridge (yes I am well aware he was never going to let Evangeline fall) but dang does he have to be rude all the time???? I wanted Evangeline to tell him off, all she needed to say was something like "Jacks stop being such a jerk and wasting my time " and he would have stopped. But no. Evangeline is constantly talking about how angelic his face is and how blonde his hair is. Jacks treat your girl better pls????

Evangeline and damsel in distress x 1000000 -damn my girl cannot catch a break literally everyone is trying to kill her. Now I am a firm believer that strong female characters don't have to be physical fighters and I am ok with Eva not being a fighter. However, I wish she would have gotten herself out of danger at times maybe just by using her wits or having a strategy? I got tired of seeing Jacks saving her. Yes he did teach her self defense but not much came out of that?

SO MANY MISSING PLOT POINTS- The bite of on Evangeline's wrist-does she owe Jacks a debt anymore? Luc? What about Evangeline's parents, what about her family's shop-does she not want to go back to Valenda?? Probably more I cannot think of right now.

Evangeline is not the first fox? Major disappointment in that. The first two books heavily implied that Evangeline was the first fox and there were so many hints regarding that ie Chaos telling Evangeline she looked like the first fox in TBONA and Jacks having volumes of the archer and the fox in his office (clearly he is not over the fox girl either) Also the fact he is over Donatella just like that?? Didn't she cause him so much heartbreak? Atleast having them talk it out would have helped to bring closure. Also are we never going to figure out who the first fox girl was? If not Evangeline? IDK it takes away the true love/soul mates aspect that drawn me to Evajacks in the first place imo

TOO MUCH APOLLO. I don't know why we got so many chapters of him, I rather had more chapters of Jacks and EvaJacks moments. Especially when it was established that he is the antagonist so I do not know why he was a main character when it really showed have been more about Evangeline and Jacks

No evajacks wedding-I am super bitter that we don't get to see Jacks and Evangeline having their wedding like in her dream

Overall, I think TBONA was 100/10, definitely the best book in the series. I still love this series to death and I am grateful for Stephanie for sharing her story with us. I just feel so underwhelmed from the ending, it sooo could have been better. I think the biggest problem is that the story was too complicated. Stephanie should have kept it straightforward>Evangeline is the reincarnation of Jack's true love and the first fox, Apollo is the bad guy, Jacks fights to be with Evangeline, they win and get married. Not everything has to be sophisticated. It’s okay if stories are predicatable, they just need to be good.

3.5/5

[sullustangin]

Fluffy February Day 22: Sacrifice

A/N: Ok, so Day 21 and Day 23 will be tomorrow, and I'll be caught up.

SWTOR

Time: Between 7.2 and 7.3 (29 ATC)

Pairing: Theron Shan/Eva Corolastor

CW: Eva is a pregnant person in this fic. There is talk of the imminent arrival of Argento Shan (alias, "yet-to-be-named baby boy.") All is well, and Dr. Oggurobb's journal article is progressing nicely.

~~

“Are you sure?”

Theron looked over at Eva.  “Yes.  It was meant to be used, after all.”  He looked down at the item in his hand.  “I just don’t know why it was kept.  I mean, I wasn’t supposed to have children anyway, as a Jedi.”

“Well, Jedi do the sentimental value thing, once in awhile, right?” Eva offered.  “For little things that won’t affect the fate of the galaxy, of course.”

Theron let out a small, short laugh.  “Well, the person it should have had sentimental value for left it behind, when the Jedi at Haashimut went to the caves…”  Theron’s voice trailed off as he considered the fabric in his hands with a critical eye.

Eva held her breath.

Theron had happy memories of his childhood…as long as he didn’t think of the end.

He was thinking about the end.

And abruptly he wasn’t.  “Time to put it to the test.  Pass me that flour.”

Eva exhaled and raised an eyebrow as Theron started rigging up the baby wrap – his baby wrap.

 The one Master Zho had used to carry Theron around the galaxy when he was an infant, then a toddler.    

It… it was one of those things he kept in his former quarters, now his office… things he didn’t bring onto Virtue’s Thief to “clutter” their life together.  Sort of like his old SIS dress uniform – only broken out when necessary.

Eva hadn’t even known the wrap even existed until about fifteen minutes ago, right after the latest development scans with Dr. O had gone well; the good doctor was utterly thrilled about the progress of his journal article on the matter. 

Eva slid the five-pound bag across the counter to him.  “Dr. O said that’s just what the kid weighs now.  He’s probably going to be a few pounds heavier.”  At the movement, Eva felt the yet-to-be-named baby boy roll over.  Quarters were getting tight in these last six weeks. 

Theron finished arranging the yards of fabric, probably according to a cross-comparison of at least fifteen different schematics he’d looked up on the Holonet. 

“Well, we’ll find out whether this can even handle five pounds, let alone a bay---”

RIIIIIIIIIIIP

A massive POOF rose up from the floor, coating Theron, Eva, and the galley with a mist of flour. 

“--bee.”  Theron looked down at the floor, a large swath of torn fabric pinned under the weight of the bag.   His expression was unreadable.

“…well, it was a lot to expect for a forty-something year-old baby sling.”  Eva wiped the flour off her face. 

Still nothing from Theron.

And then… “…and isn’t it a good thing we tested it before we put a real baby in there?”  A small smile was working its way onto Theron’s face, but the eyes were already sparking in good humor. 

A giggle escaped Eva.  “A worthy sacrifice to the child safety gods?” she ventured.

Theron nodded.  “It did its job in keeping me safe.  New baby, new sling.”   

All tension in the galley escaped… especially when Theron ran a hand back through his hair, but none of the flour budged: his pomade acted as adhesive.  “Sneak preview of ten years from now,” he joked, pointing at his now whiter hair.

“More like five, at the rate you’re going!” 

~~

@fluffyfebruary

[thatapostateboy]

is that such a stretch of the imagination?

Pairing: None

Word Count: 2196

Synopsis: More than memories haunt Magnus Thorne's sleep

Prompt: Day Five: Nightmares from the Veilbound challenge by @/nympthi and @/citadrells on Twitter

Warnings: Canon-compliant slavery, harm towards children. (Magnus is my secondary Rook, a Qunari mage Warden)

Crossposted: Here on AO3

Magnus leaned back against the bough of the tree, head tilted towards the leaves as sunlight filtered through, warming his face as he relaxed, enjoying the cool breeze and nearby sound of someone the beginnings of a song.

He cracked an eye open when he heard the strings of a lute being plucked in time along to the melody, a song he remembered from many years ago, barely able to catch sight of the figure lounged on the other side of the bunk, only a boot-clad leg swinging below them.

“Call to me, call to me, lands far away,” a familiar female voice began to sing.

“This one again?” he asked, voice rough as he pulled himself from the draw of sleep.

“Tough crowd,” she hummed with laughter, changing up the melody, starting anew, “Can’t take my past, can’t take my history-”

“Can’t take my Pa, ‘cause his name’s a mystery,” he joined in on the next line, their voices melding together as she strummed her lute with expert grace.

“No, nothing you can take was ever worth keeping,” she finished on a lingering note, setting her lute aside before she let out a wistful sigh, “Don’t you wish every day could be like this?”

“It’s perfect,” he admitted, “It’s…”

A frown started to cross his face, something itching at the back of his mind. How long had they been sat up here? And where even was here?

Something’s not right.

He sat up, clambering around the tree branches to look at the young woman, a fresh faced elf with long dark hair, dressed in a spotless summer dress, brown eyes tilted up to glow golden in the afternoon sun.

She’s never looked this content before.

“Eva,” he said softly as he looked at her, “How did we get here?”

She smiled at him, that wide toothy grin, “Don’t you remember, silly? We’re home.”

“But that’s…” he began to ask her something else, but she moved with unnatural speed, turning from him and leaping to the ground below. He looked down, watching her land gracefully at the bottom of the tree, but she was no longer a woman grown, but instead a young girl, hair held back in bunches.

“Come on, I’ll show you!” she called up to him, racing away.

He clambered down quickly after her, giving chase. They were in the middle of an unfamiliar street, non-descript buildings around them. What in the Maker’s name was going on?

“Evie, wait!”

She crouched down, making her way through a hole in one of the walls, and as he followed her, he felt his own body shrinking down rapidly until he was of a similar age himself, no older than eight, crawling through the cubby space after her.

He finally emerged into the bottom of a cupboard, finding her sat cross-legged waiting for him. He sat opposite her, glancing around to realise that he knew this cupboard. It was their favoured hiding space as children, a place to talk without worry for anyone hearing.

His eyes focused on her in the dark and he realised that she was holding a damp cloth to her mouth, a small amount of blood soaked into it from her split lip.

A memory.

“We should just leave,” she sniffed back her tears, trying to put on a brave face as she always did.

“They’ll catch us and bring us back,” he said.

“They won’t if we’re clever about it,” she pouted a little but he noticed that it hurt her lip more.

“You shouldn’t have spoken back to Master.”

“He called you a nasty name.”

“He calls you worse,” he pointed out.

“I don’t care. He can hit me all he likes, he shouldn’t be nasty to you. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said.

He pulled his knees up to hug to his chest, “Even if we did get out of here, I don’t know where I’d go.”

She set the rag aside, looking at him with a frown, “You’d come home with me, silly.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” she said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, “We’re family.”

“But I’m not an elf like you.”

She shook her head, “That doesn’t matter. Family looks out for each other. That’s me and you. My Mama will love you, so will everyone else in the Alienage. She’ll be able to teach you all the songs that I can’t remember, and we can climb the vhenadahl together and play tag with the other kids in the alleys, and when we’re big enough, we’re going to be adventurers, and we can kill all the bad guys in Thedas so that no one ever gets hurt again. You’re my brother, Magnus.”

He smiled at that, pulling her in for a tight hug, “Thank you.”

She held him back, face pressed against his shoulder. After a moment, she leaned back to look at him, her hands holding on tight to his, “We’ll stay together always, won’t we?”

He blinked, “I…”

“Promise me, Magnus. You’ll stay with me, no matter what.”

He began to frown, feeling that itch at the back of his mind again.

This wasn’t how it happened.

They had scarpered out of their to hide somewhere else as their Master came looking for them.

“Evie…”

Her grip turned tighter, fingers digging into his skin, “Swear it to me Magnus. You’ll stay here with me, forever.”

He met her eyes, letting out a hard breath as the memory that held his mind faded, “You’re not her.”

She cocked her head at him, a smirk passing over her face, “Clever boy.”

He tried to pull away but she held strong, “Let me go, and relinquish her face, demon.”

“I tried to offer you what you wanted, asked ever so nicely,” she seethed, “Perhaps another memory will remind you why my version was much better.”

The creature wearing his sister’s face launched at him, toppling him over, but as he braced to hit his head on the ground beneath him, he instead felt himself flipping over, stomach turning and body righting itself as he found himself back on his feet, no longer a child but still a younger version.

Hands still gripped tight to his, Eva was standing before him, older as well, dark hair loose around her shoulders, tears in her eyes, her clothes soaked in blood.

“Magnus, we have to go.”

The memory overtook him, playing out before his eyes, “What? Go where? Are you hurt?”

“It’s not my blood.”

“But… oh Maker, Evie, what did you do?”

“What I had to. What I should have done years ago…” she turned, beginning to gather whatever supplies she could reach, “We have to move fast, before anyone realises what has happened. We have one chance to get out of here. If we stay we will be sold to someone else, they will not keep us together. That’s if they don’t hang me first.”

He watched her, feeling a lump growing in his throat, “I won’t let them hurt you.”

She reached up to cup his cheek, “You sweet boy… If something happens, you have to leave me behind. You have to run; to be free. This can’t all have been for nothing.”

He began to shake his head, “I won’t leave you.”

She grabbed his hands once again, “Promise me, Magnus.”

“I…”

The memories flickered, the pair of them sprinting through and hiding in the darkened alleyways of Minrathous. If they could make it outside the city, find a way to the border off the roads…

“There they are, stop them!”

They had been so close, running for the outer gate as it was beginning to swing shut, guards close on their heels. It had been his fault, he wasn’t as stealthy as his sister, and his Qunari form was harder to hide beneath cloak and shadow.

They weren’t going to make it.

With a hard shove, using every speck of his might he half pushed, half threw, her, sending her tumbling through the city gate as it slammed closed, leaving him trapped on one side, her on the other.

He rounded on the guards, magic flaring in his palms as swords and spears were drawn in his direction.

A cold shiver went up his spine as he felt a whisper at his ear, “Give in to me, sweet boy, and together we can face any force, man or monster, who would threaten you and your sister.”

“No, I…” his resolve began to falter as the guards drew closer.

“Without me, they will kill you and they will find her. You and I, we could keep her safe. Thedas itself would bend to our will. All you have to do is say yes.”

“She’ll be safe? You’d swear to never harm her?”

“If that is what you ask, sweet boy, then it shall be so,” it drawled, “You just need to let me in.”

He turned to face the demon fully, taking in the twisted visage of Eva that it still held, eyes aglow with unnatural magic as it held out a hand towards him.

He took in the sight of her, his beloved sister, the girl that had been his best friend from the moment they met, singing him lullabies to soothe his sleep, mixing salves in secret to help the pain when his horns grew, doing their Master’s bidding so that he wouldn’t come to any harm.

It should have been me. I should have done it. I should have protected you, Evie, I’m so sorry.

He clenched his fist tight and swung, twisting the Fade around him and summoning a blade as he did, driving it right through the demon’s chest.

“I will not be your puppet,” he growled, forcing the blade in deeper as the demon’s form began to shift, no longer able to maintain Eva’s face, “I did not need you that day, and I do not need you now.”

The memory around him crumbled, no longer held together by the demon’s will and at the sound of someone calling his name, he was wrenched from sleep.

~*~*~

He sat up, coughing and sucking in air, sweat on his face cooled instantly by the night air, a familiar figure knelt over him.

“Are you well, Thorne?” Davrin asked, a hand on his shoulder.

Magnus blinked a few times, recognising their shared campsite, Assan picking at a bone near the fire. He rubbed a hand over his face, dragging himself fully out of the dream.

“Just a nightmare,” he admitted, noticing the knowing look in his fellow Warden’s eye, “And not the usual Darkspawn kind.”

“I see,” Davrin passed him a water skin, which he accepted gladly.

“Since the sky tore open again, the demons have gotten more brazen,” he said.

“Do I need to be concerned? I’d hate to turn a blade on a friend,” his tone was light-hearted, but he knew that there was always a real danger.

Magnus gave a soft laugh, “If it comes to that, I won’t be me anymore. At least I can trust you to get the job done efficiently.”

“Well, for tonight at least, you’re still my brother in arms,” Davrin gave him a pat on the shoulder, “You should try and get some more rest.”

The Qunari waved him off, “I’ve slept enough for one night. You get some shut eye, I’ll keep watch.”

The elf nodded, not bothering the argue with him, though as he headed for his own bedroll, he paused in his steps, “Who’s Evie?”

Magnus glanced at him, “What?”

“You talked in your sleep,” he said, “You uh, you kept saying a name. That name.”

“My sister. The nightmare was about the last time I saw her… the day I got recruited into the Wardens.”

“What happened to her?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “I hope she’s back in Denerim, but with the world the way it is… I just don’t know.”

Davrin gave a solemn nod, “If she has half of your resolve, my friend, she will be well.”

“I hope so, Dav, I really do.”

~*~*~

Bumping into the so-called Veilguard in the middle of nowhere certainly hadn’t been part of the plan. He had been packing up the camp as Davrin and Assan scouted the area ahead when he heard the griffon call out.

He followed the source of the noise, stumbling out of the bushes to see Davrin conversing with a human mage and the most beautiful red headed dwarven woman he had ever seen, another elven woman nearby petting and cooing over Assan who preened at the attention she was giving him.

“With the Evanuris spreading the Blight, we find ourselves in need of the skills of a Warden,” the dwarf looked up as he approached, offering him a smile, “Though we wouldn’t say no to two.”

Davrin gave him the nod to let him know that there was no danger before he glanced back, “I’m sure that’s something we can discuss with your leader…?

The elven woman stood from where she was fussing over Assan, looking at the Wardens, “Name’s Rook, but you can call me-”

“Evie?”

[theobsessedbrunet]

Let you go

One-shot, Pairings: Evan Buckley x You

  You stared at the person who stood before. The person who you thought you knew completely, the only one person who would never let you down. The only person you could count one. Hair in a complete mess, lips slightly swollen from last night, eyes brighter than ever and skin glowing. 

  You were like a completely different person. 

  As you pulled your hair into a ponytail and washed your face with refreshing water, you leaned against the sink and contemplated on your sanity. What the hell did you do? This isn't like you to just lose control and sleep with a stranger.

  But there was something about that man. He was so genuine and yet still so enticing. Typical playboy but what made him different was how he opened up to you after the sex. You stayed up so long, talking about life. Your hopes and dreams, fears. Honestly, it felt good.

  That scared the hell out of you so you did the only thing that was logical after that. You sneaked out before he could wake up.

  Days had gone by and you still found yourself getting lost while reliving the night. The kisses, whispers you shared, his fingers grazing your skin. You got goosepbumps at just the thought of them. 

  "Who's picking you up today? Your dad?" You asked as Christopher walked beside you towards the entrance of the school. Christopher was usually the last kid to be picked up. Secretly you liked that, he's such a good kid. Cristopher loved bringing joy to everybody and he was the life of the party at school.

  "Bucky will pick me up. Dad is working." Christopher said as we ascended the last steps of the stairs. 

  You placed your hand behind Christopher, ready to catch him if he lost balance with his walking sticks. In this profession of the things you learn that the kids can handle themselves and should be given more credit. But there was a parental part of you that wanted to be ready and help if needed.

  "Who's Bucky?

  Bucky had tried to convince himself that you were just one of his many one night stands. One that would be a memorable one but he quickly realized that wasn't the case. He found himself thinking of your laugh that rang through the quiet room in the night, of your eyes as they turned a shade brighter when you talked about your slight obsession on Brooklyn 99. 

  When he saw you ascending down the stairs he couldn't believe his eyes. There you were, laughing at something that Christopher had said. This had to be destiny right? 

  "I am. Hi." Bucky shyly smiled as he pushed his hands into his pockets

  Soon Bucky's happiness changed to insecurity as he saw the look on your face. You wanted to turn around and run in the opposite direction and he could see that. He didn't know what reaction he was expecting but it wasn't that terror on your face.

  "Hi." You suddenly blurted out as you quickly turned to look at the boy next to you. You placed your hand on his shoulder and smiled, desperately trying to mask the shock in your voice and face.

  "I'll see you tomorrow Christopher. "

  "Byee." Christopher smiled and waddled over to Bucky who welcomed him with open arms. 

  "Hi buddy! Could you go and wait in the car? I'll be right over."

    Crap. You pressed your lips together as they started to tingle at the sight of his own. He was even better looking than you remembered. Eva- or Bucky, whatever his name was. He had a beautiful model smile and height that left you feeling small. But what stood out was his eyes. They were so bright and genuine, just like you remembered.

 "Hi." He said once again to steady himself. Kind smiles were shared. 

  "I thought you were Evan." A laugh escaped out of him as he quickly glanced at the ground, taking the opportunity to let his eyes travel from your shoes to your eyes.

  "I am. My name is Evan Buckley but friends call me Buck or Bucky."

  You smiled at him, professionally. "I see."

  This was very awkward. Silence surrounded you two as you both tried to wrap your heads around the situation. 

  "So I just have to say this." He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the right words. "I don't want to let you go." 

  Your eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

  "No, I mean that, umm." Bucky laughed, hand running through his hair as he collected himself. He had asked women out many, many times. Bucky 2.0 just wasn't very suave anymore with women who were out of his league anymore.

  "Are you trying to ask me out?" You laughed as you looked at the suddenly very nervous and flustered man before you. He visibly relaxed under your gaze as you took the words right out of his mouth.

  "I am. " 

  You pulled out your calendar from your bag and quickly scribbled your name and number on an empty page. You walked down the last step and approached Bucky with confidence. This was your cliche movie moment and you owned it with pride. 

  Bucky's eyes traveled your movement as you approached him. He was very into his, into you. This was why he couldn't stop thinking of you. You went after what you wanted. And currently, you wanted him.

[evita-shelby]

In the near future

Eva and Robert talk about their hypothetical child after they elope.

cw: mentions of a past misscarriage, feelings of inadequacy, self-esteem issues.

The last thing she expects to hear from the doctor is that they are free to try again after her next period ends. In fact, they were encouraged to start then since she’d be at her most fertile.

The moment Eva was cleared they’d made up for lost time, happy to be back together and knowing this time they’d do things right.

“You’re thinking about it too.” Rob says as both give up the pretense of sleep. He holds her, kissing her shoulder and reminds her how much he loves her.

One day she will feel worthy of him.

“Yeah.” They hadn’t done anything beyond some cuddling tonight, the news had put them in a pensive mood and fearing what the other thought of the mere idea of ever trying again.

Its not that they don’t want kids, they do but they have just gotten back together and eloped earlier last night, and Eva knows his family will think she did it to trap Robert. They hate her, part of it was justified, but even before that Eva and Browning were legendary in their rivalry.

If Robert’s beloved mother had been alive, she would’ve hated her too.

“In the near future, I would like to have kids with you.” Eva admits. First time she broached the subject of their second try succeeding.

“What terrors they’d be, your brains, my whatever you see in me.” even as they contemplate a possible future together, he cannot fathom what he brings to the relationship beyond looks and money.

“Your pettiness.” The dark-haired beauty turned to reassure him he was more than he knows kiss by kiss. “Your inability to stay down and your terrifying work ethic.”

“You only say that because you love me.” He denies being everything she knows him to be but kissed her anyways. “Even Uncle Peter is relieved you’ll be by my side when I take over the company in full. Thinks I’ll fuck everything up without you.”

Peter Browning still hates her but tolerates her for Robert’s sake. Begrudgingly admitted she’s good enough for Fischer Morrow’s advisor position now that Rob and Eva had officially gotten back together and agreed to make Aurai part of his company.

“We make a great team, and Robert Junior is going to be perfect.” Strange how their wedding night has him assuring her his family doesn’t hate her that much and Eva assuring him he’s not worthless and would be a great dad. “We could make him right now if you’re game.”

“You’ve been Mrs. Fischer for what, three, four, hours and already you want kids.” Rob doesn’t say no, instead he deepens his kiss and pulled her closer. They are ravenous for each other, wanting to make up for lost time and now giving into that desire to have all they dreamed or that first night.

“We are not naming him Maurice nor Peter.” Eva moved to straddle him and gave him her one condition.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”