#look ton needs some people that don’t feed into his ego
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doublel27 · 7 months ago
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Charoen and Aylin not being the least bit charmed by Ton’s over the top flirting and pushing boundaries is exactly what that boy needs. I am doubly glad Aylin stood up for herself and shoved a plate of food in his face as he wouldn’t leave her alone.
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xiao-come-home · 3 years ago
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Modern!Itto kinda hits different. Don’t get me wrong - he still brags about himself like no other, still doesn’t like wearing shirts (but does that if he has to), but. He’s probably studying at university. Maybe geography? Zhongli teacher so true, but anyway. Teachers hate him. Not in a bad way, but not in good way either. Whenever someone’s quizzing him, he accidentally says 30 things completely unrelated to the subject. Itto’s grades are basically 📈📉📈📉, depending on his mood - sometimes he feels determined enough to study the whole book, sometimes he reads 10 lines of it. Tell him he looks sexy while reading and he just might start reading..
Massive hair freak. Has so many hair products that the shelves almost break. Masks, shampoos, this man has it all. Gives excellent scalp massages and likes to make funny shapes out of your hair until he gets his face smacked with wet sponge.
Sometimes wears turtlenecks that are low-key a bit too tight. Generally, he doesn’t care - but holy hell these muscles are so defined by it that it’s just hard not to stare. Especially those mil/kers. Absolute units. Huge ti-
Lives in a dorm with his homies. It’s extremely chaotic.
He’s good at math. No, i don’t take criticism. Itto’s genuinely helpful whenever you need it, he repeats the same stuff 20 times, is patient, and doesn’t mind if you still get things wrong. Why would he? You put up with him every day. But in all seriousness, he’s the person you need to go to if you need help with math :)
Would attempt to help in any other subject too! As long as you explain it thoroughly.. very thoroughly.
Probably dyes his hair at exactly 2.57am. calls you to tell you that, wishes you goodnight, makes a kissing sound and then hungs up and continues to dye his hair.
He’s that person that’s both loved and hated by everyone because of his personality. Some girls are jealous whenever they see him shameless cuddling you in his free time because Itto has no self control, some roll their eyes when they hear him from a mile away.
Study dates. He doesn’t care if you study something unrelated to his studies. He knows it’s cliche, but he likes it.
Has driver’s license. Drives according to the rules, obviously, but with a little spice, as he says - aka a little bit too fast sometimes.
Hand on your thigh whenever he’s on red light. His thumb caresses it softly, until he yawns obnoxiously and jumps in his seat when the lights hit green.
For some reason, you find him a lot in libraries and cafes outside of uni; and he genuinely respects these places, which means he tones down with his loudness. Often orders coffee with like 3-4 spoons of sugar, tons of milk and reads - mostly for school, this time. The whole thing is weird, but seeing an unbelievably hot man (your hot man) studying at the cafe is a sight to see. Apparently, people like to stare at him too. Which is why he probably does that, because he likes when people feed his ego.
“What’s up, sugar? Am I that beautiful you can’t take your pretty eyes off me?”
listen,,, he wears coats. these coats are big. he looks way too good in that. but also, he tends to drape it over your shoulders when it’s too cold. not only you drown in them, but also smell his cologne and it makes you way too happy :(
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crymeariveronceagain · 3 years ago
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Cassius being a jerk to Keefe, but from Cassius's point of view. Maybe Keefe starts to cry at some point idk
You've written tons of Keefe angst, correct?
Well, I challenge you, Cassius scolding Keefe.
But
From Cassius's point of view.
Good day.
Wow. Y’all just really want to suffer, huh?
Well. Jeez. 
Okay then I guess. Y’all picked your poison. 
Read tags before clicking.
Cassius Sencen was pissed. Pissed as hell. 
Although, you must understand, Cassius Sencen was nearly always pissed. Especially when it came to his son. 
That child was a demon from hell. 
How Gisela had ever given birth to such a horrible thing was beyond Cassius. He shoved it down, managed to keep it under control around others. It took a lot of effort not to slap the kid at the slightest infraction.  He was proud of that.
No, he was enthralled with that aspect of himself. It showed great restraint, great maturity, that he didn’t just treat the little devil like he wanted to. He didn’t know how the kid didn’t come home with black eyes from his teachers, the little thing was so awful. 
Cassius couldn’t stand to be around his kid more than he had to. So, he left him alone. Left the thing to himself, to draw his stupid art on the walls, like the idiot he was, and then crack his pencils into bits and make him scrub down the messy scribbles that ruined the perfectly good walls. 
Cassius always had to rule over his son with an iron fist. The kid simply wouldn’t listen to reason. Or warnings. Or gentle reprimands. If anything, being gentle with the kid made him worse. It made him more intolerable, more whiny, more annoying. He’d ask for things, never be satisfied with what he got. He was always more clingy, too. Cassius avoided anything that would make that little boy clingy. The kid was already disgustingly clingy enough. 
Once, when the kid was five, he’d crawled into Cassius’s lap without so much as a warning, and Cassius had been so affronted that he’d shoved the kid onto the floor without a second thought. Big, ugly tears had welled up in his son’s eyes, but he hadn’t been able to make himself care. With a sharp command to “Stop sniveling like a baby,” and a reminder that, “Boys don’t cry, only babies cry,” the kid had left in a rush to try and get his endless tears under control. 
That was one thing Cassius was proud of. The kid had learned really quickly that crying in front of him would not, under any circumstances, be tolerated. A night or two alone in a closet had done the trick. And Keefe was getting better at it, Cassius supposed. Slowly but surely. And now the kid was sixteen. Admittedly, the demon’s control over his emotions was about as strong as a three-year-old’s, but it was most definitely an improvement. Not a huge one, but an improvement. Not that Cassius would ever tell the kid that. The thing didn’t need more bloated compliments feeding his ego. He already got enough undeserved appreciation from other people.
Every single one of his little friends adored him. Cassius found it disgusting. Couldn’t they see that there was nothing good about his son? Even he could see it, and he was blinded by parental bias. His son was a wreck, and a useless wreck at that. There were very few things Keefe was good for. Maybe he could be used as a bad example for that Vacker kid. The good one. The one Cassius would have taken over Keefe any day of the week. What was his name? Ah, yes. Fitz. Cassius would have taken Fitz over Keefe at any time of day. 
Cassius was sure that if Keefe weren’t himself, and were Fitz instead, every single problem would simply be solved. 
The thought had only solidified in his mind as he watched his son flounder in every situation that the Vacker boy excelled. The Vacker boy did better than his son in everything, and Cassius looked at the spitting image of himself, cast in flesh and blood and wanted to spit on him. Honestly, he did. If he were his own son, he thought, he’d never have been such a disappointment. 
Maybe Cassius would have liked his kid a bit better if the demon ever bothered to put any effort into himself, if he tried to be proper, if he tried to be smart, if he tried to be put together. Instead, all Cassius saw were shortcomings. All Cassius ever saw were flaws. The bed wasn’t made, and if it was, the idiot’s shirt wasn’t ironed. The dishes weren’t done, and if they were, a cup had gotten cracked. His grades were horrendous, and if they weren’t, he didn’t get better grades than that Vacker kid. His kid always spoke derisively and insolently, and if he didn’t, he sounded weak and whiny. The idiot never stood up straight, and if he did, he wouldn’t quit fidgeting. 
So he never stopped demanding of Keefe. He couldn’t, logically. He needed to make his waste of a child understand everything that he was doing wrong. Honestly, Cassius thought at times, what was the point of having kids if they couldn’t do a single thing right? And so, as the years passed, the stakes grew higher. Logically, as you get older, the stakes do get higher. Things get more important. 
Cassius dragged his sixteen year old son away from his friends, spitting obscenities, telling him exactly what he thought of his foolish behavior. “What are you,” he hissed, and the kid winced, as though words could actually hurt him.
Cassius shook his arm, and the kid jolted, pulling away a little, but Cassius tightened his grip, his eyes glaring at the kid. 
Second-hand emotions flooded over him. Sorrow, anger, pain, disgust-- there it was. The only thing Keefe ever learned from. Fear. Cassius smirked at his kid, triumph flooding over him, knowing he had the little brat’s whole attention. “Well?” he asked, his voice all knives. “What are you?”
The kid didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Is that a rhetorical question or--”
“How stupid are you, idiot? When I ask you a question, I want an answer.”
The teenager blinked. “Coulda’ fooled me,” he said. 
Cassius jerked the kid’s arm instead of hauling off and slapping the kid in the face for his insolence. He was proud of the fact that he didn’t customarily hit his kid. It was a rather decent achievement on his part, that took a great deal of self control. “What are you, you little jerk?”
The blond menace sighed, deeply. “Cassius Keefe Sencen,” the kid had the absolute gall to grin at him. “At your service.”
“That’s right,” he hissed. “You’re a Sencen, and you carry my name. You take my name and with every stupid action like this, you make me want to leave you on a street corner and let you die.”
The kid rolled his eyes. “You can’t,” he said. “That’s against the law. You’re stuck with me and every stupid action I do. That’s just how the world works. You couldn’t get rid of me, even if you tried.”
“I could always accuse you of some crime,” he snapped, “Stars know you’ve committed enough to send you to the center of the earth and get your mind broken a hundred times over.”
The kid shifted from one foot to the other. “I’m a hero,” he said, softly.
“Who did you save,” Cassius snapped, his rage burning. “You couldn’t even save your mother, and she’s off fighting for some crazed pyromaniacs.”
The boy kept his eyes fixed on the ground.
“You’re just her legacy,” Cassius said, bringing up something that always made his kid listen. This was the only thing that worked on the thing, and it was the only thing anyone in their right mind would do. “You exist to carry on her plans and drag our family name through the mud.”
“Stars, Dad!” Keefe said, his eyes flashing, “It was just a stupid prank!”
“Oh, that’s all it ever is,” He snapped, pretending like the kid hadn’t been inches from getting kicked out of school and disgracing everything Cassius had worked so hard to build. He had fought and bled for this family, put in hours of sweat and time to get where he was, and now, the one thing that should have loved him more than anything else, his own son, lived to disgust him. “You’re so close to the place you came from that I wonder if you’ll ever wake up and realize that one day this will all come back to haunt you.”
“Like hell it will,” his kid spat, and Cassius was three inches away from throwing hands. The nerve of this kid, the sass and the backtalk, the sheer disrespect and insolence stored in the mind of this child was enough to send any self respecting Lord of the Lost Cities to an early grave. “I--”
“Shut up,” Cassius snapped. “You’re a disgrace to this family name, and a disgrace to me. You don’t even deserve to be here.”
The kid went very still, and Cassius grinned. There it is, he thought, that’s the reaction I wanted.
“You’re a monster from hell,” he hissed, and the kid winced, again, like words could hurt like blows could. What a pathetic little thing. Cassius couldn’t believe this creature was half-built out of his DNA. “You’re a genetic freak, an experiment.”
The kid shut his eyes tight, like he wanted to cover his ears, but couldn’t so he shut his eyes instead. “It’s not my fault--”
“Of course it is,” snapped Cassius, “You were born, after all.”
The kid had tears on his eyelashes. Cassius wanted to laugh. This was pathetic. This kid had heard all of these things, these true, accurate things, a million times in a million different ways, and he still couldn’t control his own emotions. He was able to let his own father wound him. It was ridiculous. Cassius was glad he’d never been as weak as his own son, to cry over a single insult that hit too close to home. “What,” Cassius demanded. “Are you going to cry?”
Keefe shook his head, fiercely. “I’m not crying,” he said, but his voice was clogged. 
“You’re crying.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s the most disgraceful thing I’ve seen all day. Imagine, a fully grown adult, crying because his dad hurt his feelings.” 
The kid’s tears pooled faster. “I don’t want to be crying--”
“And yet you still are. Stars, you’re so worthless it makes me sick to look at you.” Cassius turned away from the wreck of a kid. He honestly did not much care to see a smaller version of his own face corrupted in emotional pain. There was a reason Cassius never cried. He wholly blamed how disturbing and disgusting it was to see his own face emblazoned on his kid crunch into awful looking tears. He’d never cry again if that’s what he looked like. 
The kid sniffled, a little, and Cassius scoffed. “You’re a man,” he snapped. “Men don’t cry. Have you ever seen me cry, Cassius?”
Keefe winced at the use of his full name as though Cassius had brandished a whip in his face. It was oddly satisfying. Good to know the kid still hated it as much as Cassius hated him. “No, sir,” Keefe answered, his voice still clogged and gross. 
“Then why did you think I’d want to see you cry. It’s disrespectful.”
The kid winced. Such a weak little thing. “It’s not like I’m trying to--”
“I don’t care.”
The kid shut his mouth with a click. 
“Are you going to apologize for your disgusting behavior or are you going to take your punishment?”
The demon snorted, even though his eyes were red, as if he’d dragged himself up from hell, just to stare at Cassius until Cassius threw holy water at him and made him blister and burn. He had tried that once. Like, truly, tried to get his son exorcised. Clearly, it hadn’t worked. “Like I’d apologize for something as stupid as a prank. It didn’t even affect you--”
Cassius dragged the kid to the light leaper, and when they got home to Candleshade, he shoved the kid in his bedroom. It didn’t take much muscle power, the kid didn’t fight. Years of Cassius having to tug him around because he’d never listen to words had made him unresistant. It was one benefit of the kid. He’d learned that it was worse to fight back.
Keefe stood in his room, staring at his dad. “How long til I can come out?”
“Doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t deserve to look the world in the eyes for weeks on account of your behavior.”
And with that, Cassius left, slamming and locking the door behind him. 
Ro glared at him as though he’d cut her arm off and fed it to a snake. “What?” he asked. “How else do you suggest I teach him a lesson?”
Ro didn’t say anything, just glared. 
He shrugged. “Don’t let him out unless there’s an emergency. I’ll get him a new bodyguard if you don’t.”
Ro didn’t say anything. 
Cassius took it as an affirmative, and walked away. 
He had better, more important things to do.
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bsaffairs · 2 years ago
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Pain from Affair
It’s really fucked up. Im being forced now on this intense, painful ride that I didn’t ask for.
I met my husband in 2006, and we were married a year later. In my eyes my husband was this perfect man. He was so much better than me, and I never thought I deserved him. He was this wonderful father and step-father, he loved me so much, he was always there for me, and everyone would say how lucky I was to have him. Come to think of it I don’t think anyone has ever said he was lucky to have me, just that I was lucky to have him, and I was. Imagine at the end of a race where 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners are put on these pedestals in front of a crowd, there he was on that high 1st place pedestal. I am not meaning to sound as if I am putting myself down, I know I am a good person with a good heart, but I struggled on and off with addiction, and depression, and it not only affected him, and our kids, but also our marriage. He never had addiction issues or mental health issues; his only struggle is that he married me. I fought hard to be better, I sought help, and finally by 2016 I no longer had drug or alcohol relapses, my depression was under control, I was happy and loving life for the first time ever. He was the first person in my life to stand by me, and not toss me out like garbage.
It's been three years since I have seen that man mentioned above. I literally grieve the loss of him as if he were dead. In a sense he is. I know I am not supposed to use absolute words such as never and always, but never again will I see that man on the pedestal. Maybe it was unfair that I thought so highly of him, almost like setting us up for failure. When I am forced to loo back at him then and look at him now, I can see that he was never this perfect husband or this perfect father, far from it. He was a decent man, a hard-working man, and still is, but just like I had my demons, so did he. You know the saying, “Everything in the dark will eventually come to light?” Oh, how true that is. He worked so hard at fooling everyone, and acting like this great husband and father, in reality he wasn’t.  His demons varied from mine; porn, lying, needing an unhealthy amount of attention, and “atta boys” to feed his ego.
I will only be skimming the surface on my life and his affairs, more as to show you references and examples. I am an open book, so if you would like me to elaborate, or have any questions, please just message me, and I will gladly share more in detail. I just want this guide to be about you, for you, and helping you heal, so by year three you will be enjoying your life.
I am not going to give a shit ton of attention to the AP (affair person) in this ordeal. She doesn’t deserve it. I will say this though, Men who cheat generally “cheat down.” They want the attention with no chance of rejection, they want someone to say just how great and amazing they are, and so they cheat with a person who has low self-esteem, easily manipulated, gullible, usually low social status, and to most unattractive.
(For my situation quickly: my husband and I are both good looking people, we are successful, upper middle-class folks. We have nice cars, own our home, lots of land, own businesses,’ four wheelers, golf carts, we take extravagant vacations, etc)
The AP is far beneath our social status and financial status. She is jobless and has been for some time, she is not attractive, she doesn’t keep up with her appearance. She is completely unstable, homeless as of today’s date, she has been institutionalized in mental facilities, she even slept with his brother and his cousin, her teen daughter, she lives in complete clutter, filth, as she doesn’t clean, she has several repos and evictions, has 4 kids with 3 different fathers, and didn’t keep custody of all her children, and she is even a convicted felon! I could go on, but I think you get it. (I was going to include a photo but decided against it. I have no problem showing the photos though. Whatever vision you have in your head right now I promise the reality of it is so much worse, so if you want to see the photos message me and I’ll send them.) I know he is the one who should be damn ashamed and embarrassed, but I am. My husband wanted to be with someone like that? Yeah, I get it she showed him attention, but hell a DOG would have also.
            My husband even sank as low to involving his own son, my step-son, in his affair. Talk about dad of the year, and teaching your child morals, right? I’ve been his step-mom since he was 9 years old, now 23 years old. I will always feel as if I am just a stupid joke between them, and I have to remind myself that it is them who are the joke.  Naturally my step-son and I relationship has changed; I was put in my place that I’m just “the step-mom”.
I can only blame him so much, he had parents, who only confused him his whole life. He had a mother that used him as a chess piece to gain whatever it was that she was seeking, a father who played into those games, and too afraid to take a stance, so he never had anyone to instill him with family goals, integrity, decency, and morals.
            Could this get anymore FUCKED up?  Well, yes it can, but the rest I will leave between private conversations. I will end up writing a 500 page plus book if I were to put everything.  If you are shaking your head and wondering why I stayed, I can’t blame you. I question my decision to stay often, I still think of leaving often, then I remind myself that I love this man, and I do know he loves me. Let me explain: He didn’t intend to hurt me. He didn’t set out to cause me pain.  It isn’t as if he purposely wanted to gun me down. He was thinking only of himself, he was as selfish as one can be. His selfish decisions hurt every single member of our family, including our kids
            When he finally got a glimpse of the wreckage and destruction he caused, the pain and hurt in his wife, the hurt and disappointment his children now felt, and even his friends now saw him differently, he broke down, and started to change himself. He finally saw, and maybe for the first time, what he was fixing to lose, and what love really is. Love is not the butterfly feeling. Love isn’t a feeling at all. Love is a verb. Love is staying when you feel as if you hate that person, but you know deep down you don’t want to live without them. Love is fighting every day to never give up on each other, and to pick each other when one is down. Love is enjoying life and each other, but it also staying and not giving up when at times it seems like the only option.
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meher-sumedha · 3 years ago
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gwyn and az go to see a movie (any genre)
Gwynriel Modern AU Headcanon : Movie
@aelingalathyniusrailme I have an exam tomorrow but this is more important. Also Fluff and Banter! And sexual tension, a lot of it. Also Azriel totally being in love with Gwyn.
"Azriel!",Gwyn shouted from outside his door. Gwyn banged on the door a few times, "Az what the hell is taking you so long!" ,Gwyn was about to bang on the door again when Azriel opened the door, and Gwyn stopped her hand midair.
Gwyn just froze for a moment, and Azriel smirked. "Like what you see Gwyneth?" Azriel asked and Gwyn cleared her throat and rolled her eyes, she then said, "Why the hell are you wearing a fucking suit to a movie?" And turned around to stop staring at him.
She then went to the kitchen and knew Azriel followed her. She took out a bottle of water and drank from it, waiting for Azriel to answer, "Well I was hoping to woo some girls" And Gwyn choked on her water and Azriel grinned evilly.
Gods she hated him and his damn pride. His pride was so big that it could probably feed all the poor people in the world. "Woo some girls? Who even uses that phrase anymore. And besides, don't u have like a ton of right swipes on your tinder account?" Gwyn asked, trying to not sound bitter.
"Well I do but still. One to one action is always the best, ", "Well won't a bar be better for that?" And Azriel stilled. He then tried to cover up his nervousness by saying, "Well I know the girl I wanna woo will be at the movies, " "Wow, stalk much?"
"Oh please, that's how Cassian and Nesta got married. If Cassian hadn't stalked Nesta all those years, then they probably wouldn't be together right now." Gwyn considered that for a moment before saying, "Hmm Alright. But then we don't match. I'll change into something more 'exciting."
And Gwyn went into her room. Azriel finally let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Gods he hoped Gwyn didn't think of him as a fucking whore. He was doing all this to impress her anyway. This suit, the smirking, he'd hoped it was enough to impress her. Cause impressing a 'medical' girl, wasn't nearly as easy as he'd thought.
He couldn't just flash his smile to get her to swoon at him. No, she was wayy to smart for his own good. And wayy out of his league too. But he knew he'd fallen in love with her since the day he'd seen her in the white lab coat cutting open a frog.
Cassian and Nesta only made it easier for him, as they'd simply exchanged places when Cassian got together with Nesta. Gwyn took Azriel's old room (she went into Cassian's room and even she couldn't handle the smell of it) and Azriel had taken Cassian's room while Cassian moved in with Nesta in her dorm.
And he was already studying law at Harvard so it was pretty hard for them to spend time together. But they always took out at least one day in a month as a day off without any studying and hung out together.
And now Azriel was hoping he'd impressed her and- WHOAAA, Azriel almost fell over when he saw Gwyn walk out of her room with a glittery top and a black skirt.
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Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He should have never tried this.
Azriel was regretting his entire life right now. He shouldn't have worn a suit cause now Fucking Gwyneth is wearing that damn dress that has made blood rush to his cock and he Fucking hoped that Gwyn hadn't noticed. Fuck. The way Gwyn smirked, he knew that she knew exactly what that dress did to him, and what it could do to boys.
Azriel was no boy. He was a man. But seeing Gwyn in that damn dress had made all the hormones in his body go crazy. "Ready Shadowsinger?" Gwyn asked, referring to his surname and gods the way it rolled on her tongue made Azriel nervous even more.
"Yea- Yeah" Azriel managed to choke out before following Gwyn out the door.
And even as Gwyn was going to the parking lot, all the eyes were on her, and her backless top. Azriel saw some perverts staring at her, so he immediately put a hand behind her lower back, and gave those pervs a deathly glare.
And then they entered the car, while Gwyn put on her 'Sour' playlist. And Gwyn sang along to all the songs, the lyrics already memorized. And it was like someone possessed her whenever the song, 'brutal' came on. Gwyn was shaking her head, banging the head board and having the time of her life, while Azriel slowly giggled. God he loved that weirdo.
ALL I DID WAS TRY MY BEST
THIS THE KIND OF THANKS I GET
UNRELENTLESSLY UPSET
THEY SAY THESE ARE THE GOLDEN YEARS
BUT I WISH I COULD DISAPPEAR
EGO CRUSH IS SO SEVERE
GOD! IT'S BRUTAL OUT HERE!
wait a minute, no no no no, you don't love her, GET A GRIP YOU DON'T LOVE HER! Azriel tried to remind himself but then he noticed he was smiling while thinking that and fuck.
And now that the playlist was finished, Gwyn noticed his little smile and asked cheekily, "What's got you smiling like a little boy?" Azriel realized that and immediately got back into his cool demeanor, "Noth- nothing" He said, trying to play it off. Gwyn just smiled and then looked forward, and then suddenly started playing with Azriel's hair.
He knew she was staring at him while doing so, but he didn't move his head towards her, just let her play with his hair, massage it, it felt good, it felt nice.
And then he stopped the car, as they hd reached. He finally looked at her, to find that she was still staring at him. Everything was silent now, "You have really nice hair." She whispered and Azriel swore that he felt himself blush a little. Correction - a lot.
Gwyn just smiled at that and said, "I love making you blush." And Azriel was immediately more nervous now. She then forced his gaze to look at her.
He noticed they were so close now. That if they just moved a teeny bit closer, they'd kiss. And then Azriel suddenly blurted out, "We're here" Which caused Gwyn to move back and groan. Fuck. You could've kissed her! Why the hell didn't you? And the dumbass of the year award goes to Azriel, azriel thought. Azriel mentally kicked himself before moving out of the car.
Gwyn followed and Azriel locked his car. They both decided to see a movie known as, They Fault in Our Stars, as Gwyn had a thing for Romantic, and also because she'd already read the book and loved it.
Azriel just rolled his eyes but smiled while doing so at her obvious choice. They went inside the theatre and fuck was it cold. Azriel was surprised that after 5 whole minutes of being in the theatre, Gwyn asked, or commanded, "Give me your jacket.", "What?" Azriel pretended not to listen and he could feel Gwyn roll her eyes even in the dark.
"Azriel I swear to god if you don't give me your jacket right now I will literally burn all your clothes." And Azriel tried to stop himself from laughing, but failed miserably, "What's the magic word Gwyn?", "Give me your jacket", Gwyn said in a deadly calm.
Azriel scoffed and Gwyn was still shivering, "Magic word Gwyneth" And Gwyn huffed but finally said it through gritted teeth, "Please give me your jacket".
And Azriel smiled at her and finally gave her his jacket. He remembered the way their fingers touched and how soft her skin- GET A GRIP AZRIEL, he mentally reminded himself.
They then watched the movie in silence. Well Gwyn did, Azriel mainly watched Gwyn. The movie ended and they both walked out of the movie theatre. The ride back home was silent, Gwyn was slightly smiling and looked like she was in deep thought, and Azriel asked, "Did you like the movie?" He looked at her to see that she was simply looking forward at the road.
"Mhmm", "Did it live up to the book?" And after a moment of silence, Gwyn replied, "I think it did."
And the ride back home was silent. It was around 11pm right now, and they were simply walking around, Azriel staring at the way how oversized his coat looked on Gwyn. "I'm keeping your coat." Gwyn announced while kicking a stone. "Are you even asking or telling?" Azriel asked with a grin and Gwyn stopped and acted like she was hurt, "Do you even need to ask that Azriel?"
And Azriel smiled at her. Suddenly out of the blue Gwyn asked, "Do you like me?" And Azriel froze in his spot, "Why- why do you ask?", "I don't know, I think you do, " Oh, oh. Was it that obvious, he thought.
"Well do you like me?" Azriel asked, not confessing as he really didn't want to be rejected today. And then Gwyn came up to him. And kissed him.
She took his shirt in her hands, and pulled him down to her level. The kiss was soft but rushed. Her lips were soft yet fast. He couldn't think about anything else except her lips on his. Except the way her body felt pressed against his. It was pure ecstacy, and it was an indescribable phenomenon, an unearthly experience.
He knew she was inexperienced, and then he realized that this was her first kiss. Wedding bells started going off in the distance, oh fuck.
Gwyn then broke the kiss, tried to smirk but Azriel could see the bright red blush on her cheeks as red as her hair, "I hope that answers your question." And then they walked in silence, but Azriel, he intertwined their fingers, he couldn't tell her that he liked her. He literally couldn't, it's like his mouth froze at that.
But he hoped, that this small action let her knew, that he liked her too. And by the way Gwyn was smiling, he knew it did.
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sevendeadlymorons · 4 years ago
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Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)
Lucifer (I hate this man.)
Pros
He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that
He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh
He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically
Cons
He would probably overwork you
Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it
Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)
His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/
Mammon (I love this man.)
Pros
He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face
Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho
He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)
Cons
There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad
He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it
While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it
Levi (I kin this man.)
Pros
He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)
Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)
Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)
Cons
Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff
He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)
You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??
Satan
Pros
Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track
Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace
While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)
Cons
As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)
If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment
I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical
Asmo
Pros
He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition
He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)
You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)
High emotional IQ
Cons
He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him
He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot
While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss
Narcissistic, need I say more?
Beel
Pros
He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food
He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed
Very supportive and always concerned for your health
Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)
Cons
Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack
He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food
Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food
Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)
Cons
I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))
He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))
He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)
Cons
Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)
At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep
He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling
He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.
I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think
And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger
Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd
Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭
I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah
Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~
As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔🖤
I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier
Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating
I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support
I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.
This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers
I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao
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jisungsmochi · 4 years ago
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rest your love - lee haechan
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don’t worry!! i didn’t forget about this series hehe,, i personally really liked this one!! i’m probably going to try and write more often!
anyways pls enjoy,, i’ll link my masterlist for the other parts of this series (nct dream as ‘the vamps’ songs)
word count: 2.2k 
summary: “when the world gets loud, baby you can rest your love on me”
haechan never understood why people liked to be chased. he thought that all he needed to do was ask someone out and boom, a beautiful relationship. until he befriends you, and learns that sometimes people just need a shoulder to lean on, before they can rest their love on someone.
//
I see you move, so I do understand
Why you get attention?
I hear you talk, but I don't comprehend
Why I get no mention?
“it’s physically impossible to dislike me, i’m just a catch” haechan brags while walking to his first college class, his friends, renjun and jaemin trailing behind him.
“just because everyone liked you in high school, doesn’t mean people will in college. it’s a completely different ball game” renjun rolled his eyes at how overly optimistic and delusional his friend was being.
“ah let him live, he’ll find out soon enough” jaemin chuckles softly as he and renjun wave to haechan,  scurrying off to their own lectures.
haechan shrugs, not taking in any of his friends words. he stumbled into the classroom, scanning for an empty seat. he quickly made his way to a spare desk, pulling out all his materials. just as the tutor walked into the room, his eyes met those of, who he believed, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. you flaunted your way to the last empty seat, which happened to be next to the awfully cheery boy, smiling at you.
you weren’t having the best day, immediately regretting your choice of a desk mate. as soon as you sat down, haechan was a blabbering mess. he shot questions left and right at you, despite the fact you barely responded to any of them. you just assumed he wanted to make friends fast, or he was just a chatterbox. “so how are you doing on this fine day?” he mutters to you, but received a stern glare in response. you tilted your head to the front of the room, zoning in on your tutor. haechan would lie if he said he didn’t feel slightly deflated. usually he had no problem making conversation with strangers. but you were so cold, so uninterested, it really hurt his ego. maybe renjun was right, not everyone would like him. but haechan was an unbelievably stubborn optimist. he was going to befriend you, no matter how long it took.
//
And you know, you know where to find me
Yeah, you know where to go when you're looking for love
And you know, you know where I'm hiding
Yeah, you know
it had been over three weeks since haechan first met you and you still wouldn’t budge. you only spoke to him during group tasks, other than that you continued to ignore his advances. haechan got the message loud and clear that you weren’t going to pay him attention. it took a toll on his own self confidence, until renjun gave him a stern talking to,
“god don’t let her get to your head, dude!! she’s awful for not wanting to be friends with you”
haechan pouted, “but she’s so pretty, i can’t just ignore her”
at that moment, he received a notification on his phone.
y/n: is this haechan? i think you took my notes by accident
his eyes widened, how did you even get his facebook account?
he scrambled around his room, looking into his backpack and surely enough, there were your notes, prettily written up.
haechan: hello! i do have your notes, i can meet you somewhere to hand it back? maybe the cafe? we can get something to eat!
renjun was now peering over haechan’s shoulder, too invested in this interaction.
y/n: no it’s fine, just give it to me next class, thanks
after reading your message, renjun bursted out laughing.
“dude that’s brutal, she’s something else” haechan fiddled with his phone, glaring at the other boy. he clicked on your profile, sending you a friend request as he scrolled through your posts. he saw that your friends had wished you a happy birthday, almost a year ago. he then realised it was in a few days...
“i have the perfect plan to get her to notice me” haechan smirks, renjun rolling his eyes,
“you’re ridiculous”
//
it was a friday afternoon, when haechan stumbled into class. you looked over at him, expecting some type of greeting, but you didn’t hear a peep from the boy.
strange, you thought to yourself.
as you were preparing for the lesson, haechan pulled something out of his bag. you looked over, noticing a small pink box now placed on your side of the table. you raised your eyebrow at him, in which he whispered,
“happy birthday, y/n”
your face froze. how did he know it was your birthday?
you looked back at the small box, slowly moving your hands to open it. to your surprise, there was a red velvet cupcake, decorated with a ton of rainbow sprinkles. there was a tiny picket that said:
“happy birthday, cutie!”
you couldn’t hide your smile, which only made haechan swoon even more. you weren’t the type to make a big deal out of your birthday, but this gesture from haechan truly made your day. you bit your lip softly, eyes meeting his.
“t-thankyou, haechan. i really appreciate this” you smiled at him softly, not caring that you were now on speaking terms with him.
“anything for you, y/n” he cheerfully responded, turning his attention to the front of the room.
maybe lee haechan was worth letting in...
//
the days following, haechan would spam you with random texts throughout the day. initially you would have been annoyed, but after his generous birthday gift, you started to enjoy his company. although you wouldn’t say it to his face, you silently appreciated him.
“how is my beautiful, y/n doing?” he smirked as he walked with you after class. he’d always compliment you, each time making you gush inside.
“i’m alright, have a ton of homework to do though” you sigh, thinking back to the stack of work you had on your desk.
“oh poor thing! do you want to copy my work? i have it here right now i ca-“
“no, haechan, it’s okay. if i need help, i’ll just...call you or something” you paused, looking over at the boy whose eyes just lit up like a christmas tree.
“of course you can call me! call me anytime you want!” he exclaimed. you shake your head softly at him as you both continued walking.
once haechan met up with renjun and jaemin again, he couldn’t stop gushing about you.
“...and then she said i could call her! well she said she’d call me, but same thing” he explained your interaction to his two friends as they were eating at a local diner.
“so romantic” renjun sarcastically comments, causing jaemin to elbow him slightly.
“i think it’s a good step! i mean atleast she’s talking to you now” jaemin chimed in, feeding into his friend’s cheerful nature.
“yeah! i have a lot of hope for us” haechan smiles to himself, in which jaemin and renjun looked over at eachother before rolling their eyes.
you did end up calling haechan that night, as you were stuck on the very last question of the homework.
“y/n, it’s hard to explain, let me just send you my answer” haechan insisted,
“no, i feel guilty” you sigh, placing down your pen.
“it’s really okay, i want to help you” you bit your lip, eventually giving in.
“okay fine, but i’ll owe you something in return” you agree, hoping whatever he wanted wouldn’t be too bad.
“hmmm how about going to the movies with me this weekend? i know you wanted to see the new zombie one that just came out” he suggested. although you were shocked he was practically asking you on a date, were more shocked he remembered you talking about this movie.
“do you really think that is proportionate to what you’re doing for me?” you roll your eyes playfully, finding his advances quite endearing.
“yep!! take it or leave it” you hesitated for a moment, what’s the worst that could happen?
“okay fine, you have yourself a deal” you replied. haechan quickly put himself on mute (or so he thought), letting out a loud ‘YES!’, before returning to the call. you had heard everything, softly chuckling to yourself.
he was pretty cute.
//
That when the stars go out, you can rest your love on me
And when the world gets loud, baby, you can rest your love on me
“that ending was terrible” you pouted as you left the cinema with haechan.
“it wasn’t so bad, it could have been worse” he shrugged, leading you to the next location.
“hm i guess so, by the way, where are we going anyway?” you questioned, walking alongside him, observing your surroundings.
“this cool burger place i found online, here i’ll show you some photos” he pulled out his phone, swiping through the photos. you nodded along, agreeing to let him lead the way.
“y/n? is that you?” you heard a deep voice call, you head shot up, so did haechan’s.
“who’s that?” your mouth went dry. your body froze up. why was he here? why did he have to call out to you?
“oh my god it is you! long time no see” the mysterious boy approached the pair of you, completely disregarding haechan’s existence. he noticed how uncomfortable you were, eyes flickering between the boy and you. he placed his arm loosely around your back, the other boy’s eyes following in suit.
“oh i see, you’re dating someone. dang, i guess i missed my shot. he doesn’t seem like your type” the boy scoffed, arms folded as he stared you both down.
“w-we have to go” you finally bring yourself to mutter, pulling haechan along with you.
“y/n who was that?” haechan kept repeating, which only made you want to cry.
“he’s my ex, okay? just take me home” you sniffled, haechan immediately became concerned. he didn’t ask any further questions, driving you straight back to your place.
as he reached your house, he looked over at you, tears brimming your eyes.
“i-i’m sorry that our day was cut short. i was really enjoying myself. my ex and i ended on pretty bad terms and i would just like some time alone right now, i hope you understand” you sniffled, which made haechan’s heart ache.
“you don’t have to apologise. you know where to find me if you need me. i’ll be waiting for you to open up to me one day, y/n. however long it takes” he assures you, leaving you with a warm feeling in your stomach. you just nodded back at him, making your way into your house.
haechan sat in his car for a while, wishing he could take away all your pain.
//
you invited haechan to meet you at the local park. with no further questions, he rushed out of his room, eager to see you again. you waited patiently on the small bench, swinging your legs back and forth. you heard heavy footsteps approach, your eyes meeting those of the boy who radiated happiness.
“are you alright?” haechan starts as he takes a seat next to you, leaving a small gap between you both.
“y-yeah, i’m ready to tell you everything” you began,
“he and i ‘dated’ two years ago. i say ‘dated’ because well, i thought we were, but turns out he was just another player and i was just another pawn in his little game. it was my first relationship too, messed me up pretty bad. that’s why i tend to keep to myself, not really letting others in too much. he made me feel like every guy who gave me attention just wanted me for their own selfish needs” you sigh, eyes avoiding haechan’s. he wanted to hold your hand, but opted not to.
“he’s an asshole, you didn’t deserve that. i-i could treat you so much better i promise-“
“haechan, c-can we just slow things down?” you finally made eye contact with him, his face contorting into a confused expression.
“i know you like me, and i would be lying if i said i didn’t have a slight interest in you too. but i don’t think i’m ready for a relationship yet” you admit, worried for his reaction. but to your surprise, he didn’t feel sad or dejected at all. instead he smiled widely at you, leaning in closer.
“i’ll go as slow as you want. you can rest your love on me, whenever you need. i’m just glad to hear you like me too” he batted his eyelids, making you softly chuckle.
“thankyou” you whispered to him, moving closer so that your shoulders touched. the rest of the day was filled with random activities from the arcade, to a bike ride along the park’s trail and finally dinner. haechan came to realise that being with somebody wasn’t black and white. there was a grey area that lied in between. he didn’t care how long he needed to wait, all he knew was that he finally got you to like him. and that was enough to make him the happiest man alive.
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lassieposting · 3 years ago
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ghasdug for couple questions if you like feeding me
1. Who said I love you first?
Ghastly. Mid-orgasm. The first time they slept together. He. Is. Mortified.
2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?
Skug. Ghastly has some inadequacy issues during their first century or so, mostly about being ugly and poor - he knows skug could do better. He's attractive, he's funny, he can be very sweet when he wants to be - he could make an excellent match with someone as landed and titled and wealthy as he is.
Skug does try to reassure him, but between his tactlessness and his tendency to not take anything seriously, he kind of sucks at it. Ghastly feels like his being "less than" is a big hurdle, while skug sees it as a trivial difference - he's much happier living with ghastly's family in their cramped farmhouse than he ever was at his parents' vast estate. So he tries to turn it into a joke - "good thing I'm handsome enough for both of us, then," - while completely missing the point that ghastly wants forever with him, and he's worried he's going to spend the rest of forever getting looked down on and whispered about because skulduggery could've done better.
3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?
Ghastly is the cuddler. It escalates because skug is adhd as hell and cannot just lie still and snuggle for long without getting bored. He needs constant stimulation. He'll sit on the counter while ghastly works and chat for hours though, swinging his legs and passing over tools when ghastly needs them
4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?
Ghastly makes all skug's clothes, including his armour, because he doesn't trust anyone else to keep skug safe in battle.
Ghastly has skug's signet ring, which he found in the burned down-ruins of the pleasant family home after skug was killed. For decades, it's the only thing he had left of skug - the clothes ghastly made, the scarf wifey made, and the locket with wifey and skugbab's portraits inside were all cut away and burned, and the house was razed to the ground. Skug knows he has it, but he's never asked for it back.
5. How would one another describe their partner?
Skug would either deliberately misread the question ("What, haven't you seen him? How could you miss ghastly? He's...he's this high and built like a wall.") or come out with something explicit to deter follow-up questions.
Ghastly mostly talks about how annoying skug is, but it's? Endearing to him. At this stage of their lives, he is the only person who's actually happy to listen to like, an eight hour infodump with no breaks. Skug is. A Lot to handle and society does not have the terminology for him yet.
6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?
Ghastly. Skug, under all the vanity and egocentrism, has critically low self-esteem and very little self-worth. He's the Family Scapegoat, and got the lion's share of the abuse before he ran away, so he absolutely melts for compliments. The boy has praise kink up the wazoo. Ghastly will happily feed his ego to watch him get the smile and the sparkly eyes and puff up like a proud peacock.
7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?
They don't really have this tbh? Not only is the vocabulary of the period insufficient, they see the relationship differently.
Skug is like. Anxious-avoidant attachment personified. He doesn't like to get too close. He falls in love with ghastly a long time before he's able to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else. He essentially treats their relationship like a fuckbuddies kind of deal, and he feels safe like that, because he can't be hurt by someone he doesn't care about. He can't be let down or abandoned by someone who has no commitment to him in the first place. Admitting he loves ghastly leaves him vulnerable, and if he's learned anything in his childhood, its that vulnerable people are the ones who get hurt.
Ghastly on the other hand considers skug his boyfriend, and there's no equivalent term from the 1500s. "Gentleman caller" hardly applies when you live under the same roof and share a room (and, more often than not, a bed), so nobody is calling on anyone. Privately, he thinks of skug as his lover, but he knows skug is allergic to intimacy, so he keeps that to himself for the most part.
So ghastly usually introduces skug as "this is my - this is skulduggery pleasant" and skug usually introduces ghastly as "this is my dear friend, ghastly".
8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?
Ghastly. Skug is his first love, and he's completely lost in it. He's had crushes before, on pretty girls who only ever spoke to him to enquire after his "handsome brother", and strapping young men at market who avoided looking at him to speak to his father, but he's never felt anything like this before. He lives with skug. He sees him first thing in the morning and last thing at night, he sees him happy and depressed and drunk and furious, he kisses him and fights with him and fucks him and defends him and laughs with him and cries with him and for years and years, they're inseparable. He's? Completely unprepared for how hard he falls for skug.
9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?
Ghastly. Drowsy morning skug is snuggliest skug. He doesn't get as many snuggles as he'd like, tbh, because skug is active and easily distracted and doesn't like staying still for too long, but in the early morning is when he's most likely to be warm and cuddly and relaxed, and when he's least concerned about keeping ghastly at arms length. He'll pull skug back against his chest and he'll wiggle round to press a sleepy kiss to the corner of ghastly's mouth and tuck his head under ghastly's chin, and he'll doze off again with his hand stroking idly up and down skug's spine.
10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?
Ghastly.
11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?
Skug likes to pick up the absolute ugliest thing he can find while shopping and pretend he loves it while ghastly cringes and swears blind that he will not be seen with you while you're wearing that thing, skulduggery, so help him god. What usually happens is that skug pulls his new purchase to pieces as soon as they get home, and then gets ghastly to make it up better.
12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?
Skug taught ghastly to read, so he'd bring home books for him while he was learning and get ghastly to read to him, lying with his head in ghastly's lap and lazily correcting his pronunciation or reminding him how to sound out the words.
Ghastly doesn't have the sort of disposable income skug does, so he makes him things instead, like stylish hats with feathers in them, even though he personally hates that fashion and is delighted when it dies.
13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?
Skug. Ghastly loves watching him laugh till he chokes though. He adores seeing skug happy.
14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?
Ghastly. Skug is an attention whore, he loves that kind of thing. An entire event all for him? Hell yes, baby
Ghastly himself, on the other hand, is painfully insecure and selfconscious at this stage of his life, and he'd be mortified at being the centre of attention like that. Skug is a vain, arrogant dick, but he's not cruel. He wouldn't make ghastly feel bad for funsies.
15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?
Ghastly picks skug up. There's not much of a height difference between them, just two inches, but teenage skug is a lanky little twink and ghastly could benchpress him, which skug is rabidly horny over. Because, you know, muscles.
Once they join the army and skug fills out and gets all lean and fit and strong, ghastly can still pick him up, but he absolutely complains that he weighs a ton now.
Adult skug can lift/mostly carry ghastly in an emergency, like if he's injured and needs to be helped back to camp or carried off a battlefield. But it's difficult, and ghastly is really too heavy for him, so picking him up isn't something he'd do for fun. Teenage skug can't pick ghastly up at all.
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authoressofdarkness · 4 years ago
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Under the Covers (Chapter 1)
“Do you really think there’s any way I’ll be able to be incognito for any amount of time? Aren’t you worried my ego will feel neglected from going unrecognized so long? Maybe I’ll blow my cover because I’m too desperate for attention.” “You’re not going to be going undercover. You’re going to be assisting our undercover agent.”
AO3 
Someone tell me why I do these things. I swear. Blame @itfeelssogoodmrstark. Now I’ve gotta go work on finals goddamnit-
Narcissistic.
“We need your help, Stark.”
“And why would I help you?”
Self-destructive.
“Because we need you to. And you want these assholes off the street just as bad as we do. You’re the only one in the position to make this mission happen.”
“I’m the only person you consider expendable, you mean. I put myself in danger all the time, so it’s okay for you to do it, too, right?”
Doesn’t play well with others.
“That’s not what I said.”
“And yet that’s what you meant.”
A heavy sigh on the other end. “Hear whatever you’d like, I’m not going to argue with you. I need to know if you’re willing to do this or not, because you’ll need to meet your partner-“
“Partner? I thought I was too volatile to work with others. Besides, Iron Man doesn’t need a partner.”
“Well, we don’t need you as Iron Man. We need you as Tony Stark.”
Compulsive.
“And yet I remember hearing the exact opposite a few months ago. Funny how that works,” he snarks.
“What you do in that tin can isn’t what I need right now. We need something more subtle.”
“Subtle? What about me is subtle? Agent Romanov is the epitome of subtle. Even fooled me. Try her.”
Another sigh, then: “Not that subtle. We need the built-in status and resources that you have as your… distinguished self. That’s key to this mission, as is the partner. Now if you’re gonna ask questions, can you at least come in and debrief in person so I’m not wasting more of all of our time?”
And he has more questions, so he agrees. He’s nothing if not nosy. And it’ll be fun to string Fury along just long enough to get on his nerves even if he decides not to consult on this particular mission.
Consult, of course. That’s his job. He’s too much of a mess to be an Avenger. And that’s fine with him. He likes flying solo, doing things on his own terms, most of the time.
But he has agreed to consult on some cases. Partially because he owes Fury, and he doesn’t like owing people. He’d worked hard to get out of the debt of owing people after everything that happened with Obie. But he couldn’t deny Fury had saved his ass with the whole pallidum poisoning thing. He’d likely have died if left on his own.
And, well, partially because… yeah, maybe he has a bit of a hero complex. But something bothers him too much now about standing off to the side in any serious situation.
And these mutant drugs going around were certainly a serious situation. But he didn’t understand why blasting the drug lord to hell wasn’t going to be enough to handle it.
“So what’s the big idea, Fury?” he asks, a few hours later, as the elder man finally enters the conference room -- where they’d left him waiting for way longer than strictly necessary, he’s sure. “I don’t understand what the big hoopla is. Do you really think there’s any way I’ll be able to be incognito for any amount of time? Aren’t you worried my ego will feel neglected from going unrecognized so long? Maybe I’ll blow my cover because I’m too desperate for attention.” He bats his eyes at him, pulling a mock-sad face.
Fury doesn’t look amused. He drops a file down on the table in front of him. “You’re not going to be going undercover. You’re going to be assisting our undercover agent.”
“I don’t recall agreeing to do anything yet, so careful with all those orders, cyclops.” Tony sits up, dropping the facade in favor of reaching for the file. “What is this?”
“Case overview. Read it.”
“I already know as much about it as you do.” It’s true; he’d already been looking into this particular problem on his own before Fury had contacted him to ask him about consulting. Course, the fact that their interests were overlapping was about the only thing he knew so far, aside from what he’d figured out on his own, but Fury didn’t need to know that.
“Just read it, Stark.”
Tony does. He skims the file, frowning a little as he reads. Maybe they knew a bit more than he did, then.
The head of the operation, from what they could tell, was one Quentin Beck. Or at least, he was the highest part of the food chain that they knew of for now.
He was the man that Tony had landed on, as well. But SHIELD had more on the inner workings than he did. Some of the stock houses, the loading areas, some of the runners involved in the operation. More information about where Beck stayed, what social circles he ran in. He used to be a special effects coordinator, apparently, before he was swept into the life of crime. He had a background in technology and biochemical engineering. Interesting.  
His profile was even more interesting. It looked oddly similar to his, in some ways. Narcissist. Compulsive. Playboy. Doesn’t play well with others. Likes to be the center of attention. Craves power.
“Interesting profile. Let me guess, Romanov wrote it too?” Tony deadpans.
Fury narrows his good eye at him, taking the file back. “Ha-ha. Believe it or not, the similarities in your personalities are part of why we need you.”
“Why? You want me to make friends with him?”
Fury shakes his head. “Beck likes power. He craves attention. He’s smart, he’s sly, and he’s worked years to get to where he is in the food chain. He sees our agents coming from a mile away every time we try to send someone in. He knows who the moles are as soon as they poke their heads out. Two weeks ago, one of our agents went in as a fake buyer and never returned. We can’t afford to keep going like this. We’re getting nothing. We’re losing our people and countless more are dying in the streets because of the shit he’s selling.”
“I still don’t understand what this has to do with me.” Tony tilts his head. “I can’t go undercover. You don’t want me to go undercover, you don’t want me to be friends with him. Am I supposed to be your next buyer? You think he’d buy that? Or do you want me to offer him something? Because I don’t sell weapons anymore, Fury. Not even for you.”
“No weapons. Nothing like that.” Fury pauses. “The long and short is, right now, Beck is untouchable. We can’t get anyone in to get any information and no one is rolling, even the few we’ve managed to get ahold of. He’s funneling his drug money through legitimate businesses, so there’s no proof. He’s covering his tracks well. But he does have one weakness.” Fury pulls a photo out of the file and slaps it on the desk in front of him.
Tony’s eyes drop to it instinctively, and he feels his mouth go dry. It’s a boy -- a pretty boy. Springy, messy curls, Bambi eyes, pouty lips, the whole nine yards. The photo is just a headshot, but he has a feeling that he’s just as lithe and pretty the rest of the way down as he is from the top.
But he’s also young. Obviously young. Mid-twenties, at the most, although he’s struggling to believe that he’s even that old.
He forces himself to swallow, lifting his eyes back to Fury. “Is that his kid?”
Fury barks out a laugh. “No. Not his kid.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Not yet.”
That’s enough to jolt him back to his senses. Tony refocuses, raising an eyebrow. “Yet?” He doesn’t like the sound of this already.
“This is where your similarities come in handy, Stark.” Fury picks up the photo. “Beck has a penchant for pretty young things. Particularly taken pretty young things.”
“That’s sick.”
“That feeds his ego. He likes seducing them. He likes to play sugar daddy for them -- drugs or clothes or money or whatever it is they want in exchange for them making him look good and feel powerful. It’s a game to him. But he only likes high-quality things. The more powerful the men he takes them from, the better.”
“So?”
“So… we need to give him someone powerful to take him from.”
It hits him like a ton of bricks.
This is where your similarities come in handy.
Playboy.
“You can’t be serious. How old is he, twelve? I mean, really-”
“He’s twenty-three-”
“-he’s practically still in diapers. Probably still in school. Forcing him to play lap dog to someone like Beck is just… wrong.”
Fury sighs. “No one is forcing him to do anything, Stark. He knows what’s involved in the mission. I assure you no one will be making him do anything he doesn’t want to do. And he’s not still in diapers. He has a Bachelor’s in Biochemistry and is working on his Master’s.”
Tony blinks. “At twenty-three?”
“It happens. Look at you.”
Look at you.
Yeah, sure, but he’s never met anyone else near close to his level. And look at the amount of emotional damage he sustained from it.
“Fair,” is all he says aloud. “But he’s got so much potential. Surely he’s got better — less dangerous, less dehumanizing — offers. What’s he doing mixed up with SHIELD?”
“That’s for he and I to know and you to not worry about,” Fury says shortly. “All we need from you is to cohabitate and pretend to be together long enough to get Peter inside and for us to see this mission through. Are you going to do it or not?”
“Hold on, back up a sec. Cohabitate? You’re gonna make the poor kid move in with me, too?” Not that he has any qualms about giving the kid a place to live, per se — God knows he has more than enough for both of them. The space, the money, the resources. But that means he actually has to live with him.
He hasn’t had a partner in ages, one night stand or otherwise. Since his capture, he’s plagued by nightmares too much to sleep like a normal person, and letting anyone see the arc reactor or get that close to him, physically, in general is just one big no.
He and Pepper had tried, but there was just too much between them. She had a company to run. He was busy being Iron Man. They had barely seen each other. And when they had seen each other, it was always just… fighting about something or the other. That he was too reckless. That he was too isolated. That he didn’t trust her, that he needed therapy, that the way he lives is unhealthy, that he missed this or that meeting, that he drinks too much, that he just hid too much stuff.  
She wanted to change him, and he couldn’t let her do it. He wasn’t ready. And part of him knows it’s stupid, unsustainable, unhealthy. But he’s not ready to face it all either. He still cares about her, of course, and she’s still the CEO of Stark Industries, and doing a damn good job at it. But the likelihood there’ll ever be a future there is slim to none. He knows that now.
Fury’s voice snaps him back to the present. “It has to look serious, Stark. He can’t just be a fling. Beck won’t take interest in that. We’ve already laid the groundwork for making him move in and making the whole shebang look believable. Now you just need to do your part. Let him stay with you at least a few nights a week, make a few public appearances together, and let him do his job. No one is saying you actually have to sleep with him -- although I admit I hadn’t expected you to seem so turned off from the idea.”
Tony doesn’t dignify that with an answer. “Are you sure this is the only option? Why can’t I just blast him into next week? Or you send Romanov in with her sweet talking to… I don’t know, poison his drink or something?”
Fury sighs. “We need to know what he knows. We need to know more about where the drugs are coming from. How. Why. Who’s involved. Everything. We only get one chance at this, Stark. You know how it works. He’s the highest person we know of that we have a chance of reaching. If he slips away, we’ll have to start over. We lose all our leads. More people die. This could give us everything we need to know. But he has to come to us. And the only way to get him to do that is bait.” He sets the picture back down on the table, jamming his finger into the middle of the kid’s forehead. “He’s fully prepared to do whatever it takes to do so. Are you, hero?”
Hero. It’s not said scathingly, exactly, but it’s clearly a challenge, all the same. A muscle in Tony’s jaw jumps before he forcefully unclenches it, letting out a breath. “So do I get to get his name before he moves in with me, or…?”
Fury smirks. He turns back to face the door he’d come through, raising his voice. “Parker!”
A moment later, the door opens again. This time, it’s the kid from the picture who enters.
He looks even more baby-faced in person. And yeah, he’s definitely just as lithe and gorgeous as Tony had imagined he would be. Great. Good to know.
He approaches the table they’re sitting at with short, fast strides, hands gripping the strap of the duffel bag over his shoulder. He was already packed. They certainly banked on him saying yes, didn’t they?
He comes to a stop beside Fury, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he stands there. “Hi!” he chirrups. “I’m Peter. Peter Parker. Big fan, by the way.”
Aaaand he’s a fanboy too. This just gets better and better.
“Tony Stark. But you knew that, I suppose.” He looks pointedly at Fury. “You’re going to send him undercover? You sure about this?” He just seems so… pure. Happy and outgoing and young and probably way, way too naive to be mixed up with SHIELD’s shenanigans.
“As sure as I was the first three times you asked.” Fury fixes him with one of his looks. “Are you gonna take him home or not?”
Take him home. Like he’s a puppy or something. Jesus.
Though puppy certainly wasn’t what Peter is thinking, if the way his cheeks color slightly is any indication. This kid is going to be the death of him, isn’t he?
“Yeah, I suppose so.” He stands, pushing the thoughts away. “You ready, kid?”
“All set, Mr. Stark.” Peter starts to make his way around the table, and Tony turns towards the door.
“You can’t do that,” Fury says, stopping them both in their tracks. “You’re gonna blow cover before you even establish it.”
Tony turns back to face him, exasperated. “We haven’t even left yet!”
“And you’re calling each other by formalities, walking with six feet of space between you, and letting him carry his own bag. Really, you’re not off to a great start.”
“What do you want me to do, hold his hand and shower him with kisses? We literally just met.”
Fury rolls his eye. “I know this is going to be hard for you, but don’t be so dramatic. You have to act like a normal, healthy couple. You don’t have to make out on the street, but you could walk beside the kid, for God’s sake.”
“I’m not normal or healthy anything. You should know that -- isn’t that what your agent said?”
Fury ignores him, standing up. He looks at Peter. “Better control your boyfriend, kid, before he blows your cover. I’ll call you when we’ve got a place for you to start.” With that, he turns on his heel and leaves.
They both stare at him as he leaves. It’s silent for a long moment before Peter turns around to face him, color still lingering slightly in his cheeks. “So, uh… ready to go, Mr.- uh… Tony?”
“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go, kid.” Tony lets out a breath and heads for the door, but at a slower pace this time, letting Peter fall into step with him. He opens the door for him, then follows him out and leads the way back to his car. This… this is going to be something, but he isn’t sure if fun is the right word for it.
What had he just gotten himself into?
Let me know if you want to be tagged! 
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littlemessyjessi · 4 years ago
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How They’d Be As Mukbangers:  Harry Potter Characters
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How They'd Be As YouTube Mukbangers
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James: Every video has a theme.   Like, I'm not even playing.   Holidays?  All kinda of holiday themed food.  Quidditch World Cup coming up?   Things inspired by the country of his favorite team.   Just a random day?  Everything is blue.   He's that type of way.
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Sirius:  If a mukbanger was a thirst trap.  I could easily see him really getting into.  Dark background, black gloves, aesthetic as fuck and like, he doesn't even talk.  He just sits there, looks hot and somehow makes eating looking incredibly sexy.  And he fucking knows it.   Bitch also one hundred percent rolls his eyes back when it hits his taste buds.  Licks his lips and his fingers.  Takes way too big of bites.   Most people would say it's cringy how sexual his videos are...but everyone is secret subscribed anyway.  With notifications on.
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Remus:  This goes one of two ways.  If he's in a good mood and things are chill, he'll find a recipe, make it to the mother fucking 't' and then have a little mukbang slash review on said recipe.  Nice lil chat.  Sweet tol bean.   Precious. If it's near the full moon there ain't none of that.  Ya boy, brings in his monstrous plate of food, sits it down and just tears into like a fucking beast, no talking.  Just nom nom nom.  Unintentionally thirst traps and people opening talk about when Remus goes beast mode.  
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Peter:  Candy and sweets channel! Small mukbangs with reviews from different candies from Honeydukes!
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Lily:  Lol, Lilypad.  She ain't playing around.  Her videos are planned out, edited and just generally finessed to perfection.  Even had music added to it with tiny vlog segments as it's set up.  It's a little pretentious but she does have a good following.
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Marlene:   This bitch.  Fucking competitive eating queen.  Tiny ass lil ho can eat you under the table, bro.   Think RainaIsCrazy on YouTube.  She can fucking smash.  Usually does eating challenges from different resteraunts and competitions.  Often, challenges Remus on his wild days.   He's a beast but she still wipes the floor with him.  
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Dorcas:  The collab.  Dorcas always has good food and good company.  She's all about sharing a meal with someone and talking about random things.
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Alice and Frank:  The couple channel.  It's generally filled with so much fucking cute and the food is always tasty.  It's sickening they feed each other but you also can't help but awww.
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Molly Prewett/Weasley:   Family recipes.   Molly's channel are tried and true recipes from the Prewett family.  Cook with me and tons of kitchen life hacks.  Also, that woman can turn a ham sandwhich into a full course meal. Bet.   Always taste tested by Daddy Weasley.  Yes, I said Daddy Weasley.  
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Lucius Malfoy:  The most pretentious fucking channel to ever exist.  It's a whole fucking production that admittedly he does put a lot of work into.   Somewhat thirst trappy like Sirius' but instead of just having a plain black background he goes out of his way to shove as much of his manor into.   Only eats the most expensive food fucking on the planet and of course, it's prepared by House elves cause he's a twit.  (Yes, I know this is Thranduil but honestly wouldn’t put it past Lucius to be this fucking pretentious.) 
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Severus Snape:  Actually pretty solid content.  His exquisite skills in potions actually made him a rather good chef.   Tasteful shots, edited well with music over everything and subtitles.   Simply audio for the eat portion at the end.  Nothing too fancy for the background.  Often just a very clean kitchen. Solid content though.
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The Black Sisters: Mass chaos.  Part vlog, part drama channel, half the time the food never even gets finished because of fights.  
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Bill Weasley:  The Traveler.   A lot of egyptian food.  Some made by hand.  Some vlogs from street food while he's out just generally doing his job.   Short videos but solid.  He's hot and he picks good food.  It works for him.
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Charlie Weasley:  This extra ass bitch.  He's the bitch that does all that outdoor cooking.  You know what I mean.   Shots in the woods, roaring fire.  Lit by a precious dragon child no doubt.  Dragons lounging in the background like those bitches who always have their dogs there.  Yes, I'm jealous.  Close up shots of him cutting things on a custom wood cutting board. Everything he makes causes your mouth to water.  God damn, scarred, freckle faced bastard just gobbles it up and ends every fucking video with a wink.   Charlie Weasley is the ultimate thirst trap and he fucking knows it.
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Percy:  Percy's channel could be epic but instead is boring as fuck.  Why?  Because he insist on having the most snooze worthy meals that are 'sensible' and THEN he proceeds to talk about politics.   He actually had a pretty decent following of other like minded individuals but my god- politics and porridge, Percy?  Really?
However, once he chills the fuck out, leaves the ministry to do something else - it’s a game changer.  Brings the family on for mukbangs.  Does videos with mummy weasley.  Percy grows his hair out and Bill teases him for being a copy cat.  Much better.  Still talks politics but it’s fucking hiliarous and now the food is poppin. 
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Fred and George:  Alright, this shit right here.   Every fucking bit of it is a self promo for the shop.  Meals inspired by and that would go well paired with 'this product'.  Like, that's the whole thing.  And then they run an add for their shop at the end featuring the product.  It works for them because they're smart, they're hot and they're also wildly entertaining with their constantly sibling squabbling. But yeah.  Big promo for the shop.
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Ron Weasley: Honestly, out of everyone.   Ron probably has the most followers and it's because he doesn't say shit while he's eating. He sits down with a massive fucking turkey.  Nods at the camera and just tears it up.   It's literally so satisfying.  All the food is prepared by his mother.  So it's obviously fantastic. ( I just had to use this gif.) 
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Ginny:   Gin's channel is usually team building videos with the Harpies.  'Cheat Day: Vlog and Mukbang w/the Harpies' type of vibes.  It's cool though and since it's a famous quidditch team the fans enjoy the behind the scenes action and actually drop all kinds of recipes for them to try in the future.
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Hermione:  Hermione could easily veer off into Percy's channel of misery when she gets started on her rants but mostly they're really chill videos.  Mukbang and Book Review type of vibe.  Or sometimes even the playing of an audio book while she does her thing.  All in all, wholesome.
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Harry:  Lol, I swear.  Fucking awkward bean.   Harry's videos are literally of him making the simplest of things and being so fucking awkward. "Er, well, hi guys.  So I'm about to head out for work.  Running a bit late.  But we're having a bit of toast and jam."  Like it's literally just little videos of him eating whatever throughout the day.  But of course, since he's Harry Fucking Potter- his follower count is astronomical.  
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Neville:  Now, this boy.  This boy is a goblincore gobbo's wet dream.  Gardening videos with homegrown veg.  Recipes from Grandmother.   Have a nice Veggie Pot Pie with Professor Longbottom in the Hogwarts Greenhouse.  There is a fanbase and it is huge.  
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Luna: Honestly, the weirdest fucking channel in the world.  Like she finds the weirdest things to eat and goes from there.  But Luna is bae so it's cool.  Also, a thousand percent does Smoke Sesh + Mukbang videos.  You know it's true.
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Dean and Seamus:  Literally, eating in the most crowded pubs as they visit football games around the country.  Seamus will definitely pull the Irish card from time to time to have a drinking competition.  He wins everytime.  He may be a little dude but shit- homie can hold his own.
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Cedric:  Honestly, it's so fucking pure.   Straight up did videos during his time at Hogwarts in the Hogwarts kitchen.  Such kind little conversations with the house elves.  "Hey, guys.  Thanks for coming back to another video.  Today we're making some really tasty biscuits.  Whispy, one of the talented bakers here in the kitchens, is here to help us today so please say hello to her in the comments."  He'll also always make extra and leave them in the Hufflepuff common room for everyone to enjoy.  Like, it's honestly so pure and he's such a soft boi and oh my fucking geeeeeeerrrrrrdddd!!!!!
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Draco: Actually takes it really seriously and put a lot of hard work into it.   Nothing like his father's ego-tistical recipes.   Surprisingly, every. single. recipe. is a muggle recipe.  How would he know?  Because he cross referenced with Granger of course.  Cooks it himself.   No magic.  Lots of random talks.  Just like a monologue of things and it gets kinda deep sometimes.   Like, it's the channel to go to when you need advice that you didn't even know that you needed.   Still eats incredibly proper.   It's that pureblood raising of his.  Old habits die hard.
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Tonks:  Pure chaos.  "Hey, today we're having Mum's homemade lasagna and I'm also getting a new tattoo.  Might dye my hair.  Don't really need to since I can do this  but whatever. So yeah, there's that.  Like it's just all over the place and you'd think it would take but the chaos is too good not to watch.  Literally gives herself beaks and snouts while she eats.  It's iconic.
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Dumbledore: Mother fucker just sits at his desk, stares straight into the camera and eats a lemon drop.  Like a weirdo.  The video usually no more than a minute and each video is just some variation of that.  Meme lord.
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Hagrid:  Tea With Hagrid.  Also, so the recipes suck, they too, but Hagrid is a peach and it's relaxing to see his gentle half giant there in his hut, pumpkin patch out the window and Fang laying by the fire.  It's a mood and he's just like the comforting Dad figure. 
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McGonagall:  Honestly the best one in the entire world.  She makes a full course traditional Scottish breakfast... and then transforms into her animagus the cat...and promptly knocks it off the table.   A fucking legend.
------------------------------
Please attack the ask box!
Love, Kenny
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Love, Kenny
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springday-aus · 4 years ago
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Figure Skater!AU with Jimin
moodboard link
Group: BTS 
Member: Park Jimin 
Genre: fluff, romance 
Type: Bulletpoint AU 
Word Count: approx. 2.1k 
I think Jimin would make a fantastic ice skater
like Olympic gold kind of ice skater
have you seen this man’s form when he’s dancing? now just imagine that with skates
even tho homeboy is a lil clumsy
(*cue the compilation of him falling off chairs on his own*)
but yeah, he’s an ice skater and he’s beautiful—thank you for coming to my ted talk
just kidding
kind of
so Jimin started young
his dad signed him up for dance classes originally
and Jimin loved it
but then Jimin went ice skating
he struggled at first, but after a couple of tries, he got the hang of it and he fell in love with it gradually
and it was history from there
it was like a slow burn love rather than instant and that’s what makes him so committed
Jimin still does dance every once in a while, but he really committed himself to ice skating and got really good
he entered an amateur ice skating contest and actually won (to the much of his shock)
and then homeboy kept winning and winning and next thing you know
he’s in the top ten ranking for ice skating in Korea and that meant Olympics and well
while he hasn’t won like gold or anything
he’s been super close to it and that proves how good he is tho
these competitions are basically him dancing on ice
it’s such a wild card because he has so much range
one time he did classical music and incorporated elements of ballet
another time he did a Big Bang song and everyone was not prepared
he’s absolutely eating these performances up and still managing to feed it to ice skating fanatics
speaking of which, he’s pretty well known in the ice skating world
especially since he basically captures everyone with his performances
and his face
but also his butt
it’s everything
everyone loves jimin
does Jimin know it?
there are times he uses it (like getting Yoongi to buy him snacks)  
and other times, he’s 1000000% oblivious to it
you know how people throw winnie the pooh bears at Yuzuru Hanyu?
anything that looks remotely cute is thrown at Jimin
so you can just…. imagine
he’s gotten so many of those gigantic stuffed dogs since people say he resembles a puppy
but he started getting thrown otter plushies
which he didn’t think was a thinguntil a bunch of people started throwing for him and now he gets an obscure amount of otter plushies when his performances are done
because lbr, Jimin is super affectionate, loves his family and is super cute
otter = Jimin
speaking of performances tho, the bts boys always try to make his competitions
they’re super supportive as always
Seokjin always brings snacks and Namjoon always brings flowers
Hoseok cheers the loudest (obviously) and waves a lot of flags like some goddamned color guard
and Taehyung and Jungkook bring signs that are supposed to be supportive… but then like
it’ll say shit like “Korea’s Thighs! PARK JIMIN”
Yoongi: “guys, it’s supposed to be Korea’s pride……”
Jungkook: “well, it’s already made” :)
Taehyung: :)
anyways
they’re like the most attractive group of people in one spot, so even if you only came there for Jimin, you’ll get like six more attractive pieces of eye candy to look at
(which is probably why Jimin’s crowds are noticeably bigger)
there was this one time tho that this one dude was competing, saw Seokjin and almost tripped
I mean who wouldn’t
but Jimin had to deal with Seokjin’s ego for the next week and it was a pain in the ass
speaking of pain in the ass, Jimin spends a ton of time to practice at the ice rink
he’s basically a perfectionist when it comes to his performances and he ends up spending all day there
there’s usually his manager, his trainer, and one of his friends
they all come in rounds to make sure he isn’t going insane
this is actually how you meet him 
you happened to be there one day to ice skate with some of your friends
only, here’s the catch
you cannot ice skate for shit and you are very aware of it
it took a couple of bribes of free food and hot cocoa that led you out of the house and into the skates
realistically speaking you could’ve stood on the side, but they were like come onnnnn
and, like an idiot, you let them peer pressure you into getting into the rink
and now you’re grasping on the rail for dear life and your friends are all making fun of you and recording it on their phone bc ✨memories✨ or some other crap
well, not all of them
two of them are skating next to you to help hold you up and convince you to let go of the rail
and this is where things kind of go awry
basically, let’s just say that your friends got a little distracted by some of Jimin’s friends (i.e. Jungkook and Taehyung) who were visiting him
they were on the rails, watching and supporting Jimin  
looking handsome and shit
ofc your friends dropped you—they were distracted
lbr, you would have been distracted too but you couldn’t be
because when they let go of you….
you fell flat on your face
like flat flat on the ice and a part of your soul died
you kind of got stuck and struggled getting up, especially since you kept falling back down on the skates
and then another pair of skates appeared and a hand reached out to you—aligning with your vision
Jimin: “do you need some help?”
You: “yes please”
he manages to get you up and you manage to stabilize yourself as he holds you up with both hands
while you’re trying to balance yourself, he chuckles to himself at the sight
you’re basically clinging onto him at this point but he doesn’t really mind
you’re cute
You: “I’m so sorry, this was not my idea”
Jimin: “first time skating?”
You: “um, actually, no”
You: “this is like my third time”
You: “I’m just a klutz and my friends are assholes”
Jimin: “oh?”
You: “not like that, but also like that”
he spends a bit more time skating with you to help you out for a bit
next thing you know, you’re spending another hour with him
laughing
chatting
learning more about one another
as you held onto his hands and skated around with him
it’s a fun
he’s basically done practicing and, even afterwards, you two got some hot cocoa from the stand
(along with his number)
it was a super cute lowkey first date
as you two texted and got to know each other a bit more, he invited you to another rink where he practices
when you walked in, no one else was present—it was just him, on the ice, in the middle of a routine
you quietly get closer, admiring the gratefulness that is displayed until you’re at the rails
when he’s finished, you applaud
indirectly scaring him, causing him to break his form and practically fall onto the ice
You: “oh my god!”
you run over to him, checking if he’s okay
You: “I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry”
Jimin: “it’s okay, I didn’t know you got here”
You: “yo, that was really good tho—you should do this as a job or something”
Jimin: “..... this is my job tho?”
Jimin: “I’m an Olympic ice skater”
You: w h a t
you two spend a bit more time in the rink, especially since he’s preparing for the Olympics once more
so you’re like friends, but like there’s something more (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
speaking of friends, you’ve met some of his
wild times
especially since Taehyung tried to show up Jimin on the skates and then falls on his face
Namjoon was self-monologuing as per usual
Seokjin was admiring his reflection on the ice, but still making as many dad jokes as possible
meanwhile Hoseok was trying to maintain balance but Yoongi was trying to trip him
Jimin: “I’m so sorry”
You: “why? this is hilarious”
they all know what’s going on tho, especially since all of them have met you at least once
*cut to Jungkook making fun of Jimin at some point*
things don’t really change until he has his first performance and you’re in the crowd (sitting with the boys obviously)
(for which you got a lot of stares for)
you cheered for him really loud before and after his performance
and you came with a cute sign
(“KOREA’S ICE PRINCE PARK JIMIN”)
and it’s bigger than Taehyung and Jungkook’s embarrassing one
it wasn’t until the scores were released and Jimin’s adrenaline rush came through
with all the congratulatory remarks and celebratory mood, he was in the locker rooms to get ready for the party his family was setting up at home
his coach let you him since he knew no one else was present
you lightly knock on the doorway to let him know of your presence
*unfortunately* he’s already clothed by the time you’re there
You: “congratulations, I knew you would get first place”
You: “I got you flowers, but I didn’t know if you were allergic, so I got plastic ones”
Jimin gives you a charming smile, with his eyes turning into crescents
Jimin: “thanks, you can set them down if you would like”
you seat yourself on a nearby bench as he brushes through his hair and puts on his shoes and whatnot
Jimin: “are you coming to the party?”
You: “I don’t know if I’m invited”
Jimin: “well, I’m inviting you—if you would like to go”
You: “like………. together?”
Jimin: “yeah, you can be my date?”
you both show up to the party with your hands held together
:)
your dates are mainly at the ice rink for the rest of the season
whether you’re skating with him or just watching him practice and reminding him to take breaks, both mental and physical
you’ve improved your ice skating abilities btw
considering your boyfriend is a professional ice skater
you always make time to go to his performances and you absolutely refuse to miss a single one even if you’ve seen it a thousand times when he practices
there’s just so much gracefulness and agility and Jimin’s so beautiful to watch
and he’s so glad to have found someone who supports his dream as much as he chases after it
also you asked him to dance to Twice once as a joke and he actually did it for a performance so
now you have many requests and ideas
Jungkook: “tell him to do One of a Kind by GD”
You: “why don’t you tell him?”
Jungkook: “because he doesn’t listen to me”
Yoongi: “I think he would know if it was your idea even if (Y/N) is the one who told him to do it”
Jimin: “I’m not doing GD”
Jungkook: “wow okay”
anyways
after the season is done, your dates have more range
he’s a big softie and it’s 1000% applied to relationships
so that means lots of romantic walks, coffee dates, picnics
of course lots of restaurant dates when he’s off his diet
in which you always pinch his cheeks bc he looks so cute with puffy cheeks
but there’s some dates where you two just stay in and watch some movies but you get a bit distracted with his plump lips and nice torso………. however you want to take that information
since he’s so used to the cold at the ice skating rink, it also means he loves to just pile blankets onto the two of you
but also he needs cuddles and it gets super heated real quick
and I mean like heated heated because of his body heat and the giant blankets
altho, it could also be heated
you two built a blanket fort once and it was knocked down real quick - in what ways? I’ll leave that to your imagination
oh and since you’re openly so supportive for him
he tries to reciprocate it
even if it’s the most mundane things
he wanted to make a sign for you once
Jimin: “do you have bigger banner paper?”
You: “why?”
Jimin: “I can’t fit in THE LOVE OF MY LIFE: HONEY SUGAR BABY CUTIEPIE”
Jimin: ………… “now that I’ve said it outloud, I think I’ll just save it for my phone or something”
You: “yeah, let’s never say that again”
you repeated it back to him once and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this flushed since that one fan tried to propose to him
he’s a shy baby
kind of
because he needs a lot of attention and a lot of praise
but if you do it in front of other people, he will combust
anyways we’re all simps for Jimin and it’s great we’re having fun
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nattspencer · 4 years ago
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In case of boredom - Part 1
Missy x reader
Part 1 (you’re here) / Part 2 / Part 3 - Complete 
Summary: The reader was always intrigued by the Time Lady. When she jumps into the TARDIS, the readers decided to write a little novel to take her out of boredom, putting little annoying riddles as a password to each file.
A/N: English is not my first language, I’m really sorry for any mistakes. Also, this is my first fanfic here, so please be kind. I already have a part two in mind for this, let me know if you want it.
Warnings: None
Word count: 1.9k
The GIF is not mine
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      Sometimes you think your major problem is having too much empathy and caring so much for other people. You can’t just see someone feeling miserable and not try to do anything to cheer them up, even if this means just standing beside them, however, despite your best intentions, it often ends up hurting yourself, since you always internalize some of their issues. This wasn’t any different when a intergalactic murder time lady started traveling with you, Bill, Nardole and The Doctor.
       You had analyzed Missy since the first time you entered the vault with Mr. Eyebrows - you definitely adore calling him that way, the eyebrows always grows frowny proving your point right - primarily, it was just part of your hobby, you loved study people’s personalities - it always helped to create amazing characters for your tales - but there was something about her, something that scary and attractive at the same time and you never were so intrigued. Slowly, piece by piece, observing from a distance every single detail about her, you started to finally understand bits of what's going on under those pale blue eyes.
      The memory of Nardole’s panicked face when he saw Missy sitting comfortably on the TARDIS after your meet with the ninth legion flashed in your brain and it still makes you giggle, it wasn’t supposed to be funny, you were kinda scared in the moment as well, but his reaction and protests were really hilarious. Bill also tried to complain when she found out that the Time Lady would become a regular in the police box, but The Doctor promised that Missy wouldn’t kill any of you, and also the ship needed maintenance.
      As time passed by, you couldn’t agree more with the Time Lady’s words, she was as much a prisoner here as she was on the vault, and defitinaly as lonely too. Missy spent hours immersed in maintenance work while you all rushed throughout the universe in inimaginable adventures, and when the TARDIS finally fills up again, none of you dare to initiate a friendly conversation with her or even just be alone in her presence, too afraid of her impressibility. Nonetheless, the intriguing mocking smile never left her lips, always ready to toy with any of you, and without a doubt, always ready to annoy the Time Lord. No one would dare to say, but all of you loved to see her messing with Mr. Eyebrows.
      “Head in the clouds?” Bill asked sitting on your side, in the stairs of the console room.
      “Kinda, was it that obvious?” You just hoped not to be a weirdo for too long.
      “Looking at a random spot in the ground for hm… fifteen minutes? Yeah, very obvious, and knowing your eyes, you would probably stay like that for some hours” 
      “Sorry, sometimes I just wonder off, you know” You smiled shyly.
      “I do” She smiled back “I also know that your best histories comes out when you are like this, and believe me, I would let you wander off for hours just to read whatever you would write, but a certain Time Lady was starting to stare at you way too much, so I had to save my beautiful writer from weeks of mocking”
      “Oh, you are really my hero” You gave her an exaggerated hug that made you both lay down on the stairs, laughing.
      “Nothing is for free sweetie, I want a new tale on my table by tomorrow” She teased.
      “As you wish ma’am” You did a floppy continence to her order, and then, an idea crossed your mind.
      “Are you okay?” She asked when you got suddenly serious.
      “I think I just found a solution for something”
      “What something?”
     “You’ll see” You answer simply.
      “Just stay out of trouble little girl” She talked with a warning voice.
      “Considering where we are and who we travel with, I don’t think that would be rather possible”
      “Yeah, I suppose you’re right” She admitted with a little chuckle while she stood up “I'm going to bed, try to go sleep soon as well, it was a tiring day”
      “I’ll do my best, boss” She just showed you her tongue and left the room with a smile still dancing between her lips.
      Books! Missy was always reading something to try free herself from boredom, it wasn’t unusual to find some bloody murder mystery novel around her, so the thought came to your mind, maybe, just maybe, you could try to help her through the characters, encourage her to be good and, with some luck, write something that she would really get excited about. Howbeit, you know it wouldn’t be so easy, the plot needed to be tricky, mysterious, unpredictable, and also, you needed her to wait between chapters while you write them - patience was definitely not among her qualities and because of it, she could get bored really easily - so why not put a password in the each file, leaving a little riddle for her to find out? That could be fun.
      A week or so of planning and plotting has passed away and you started writing, thankfully it didn’t take long before two chapters were brought into life, although, you wanted to make sure that she was into your thread before finishing it all, so you began to ponder how to set the perfect bait. You waited until Missy and the Time Lord started their regular argument about some alien knowledge to sneak into the ship, fully aware that they would be busy for some hours and you wouldn’t get caught, you took one of the library's laptops and place it right in the middle of the central reading table, quickly transferring your files to the computer’s main workspace, aside it, you put a little printed note sticked to the screen with the words: In case of boredom. You knew it would trigger her curiosity, now you just have to wait.
      Hours later, when you came back from another intergalactical adventure, you innocently decided to pick a book from the library just for the sake of bed entertainment, of course, and you glanced a little hand write on your sticked note: Pick harder riddles next time. She definitely was on it, and you almost couldn’t hide a little victorious smile crawling to your lips. You kept feeding her with new chapters almost every day with the same strategy, waiting for her to get distracted before you sneak into the place and every single night, after you write, you stood up for hours in front of the computer trying to come up with an even harder riddle. Were in one of these nights that you suddenly realized, nothing would be more challenging for her than riddles about earth’s history, she probably didn’t bother in researching any of it before since Missy despised the planet. It was perfect, and it actually worked.
      Surely, even a terrestrial would have some problem solving your last one ’when the never setting sun empire had to apologize to the biggest lazio’s last flower’ but you didn’t expect to see one of the last of the Time Lords spend a whole three days in just one riddle. You could see by the little popped vein in her forehead how irritated she was for not finding the answer, however you didn’t dare to tease her about it or even talk about it at all, just allowed yourself to sense the little rewarding feeling taking over your chest. 
      On the fourth night, when you were walking towards your bedroom, after checking the Time Lady’s progress, you suddenly felt two arms smashing your body painfully against the corridor walls, and you didn’t have to look to know who it was, actually you were quite expecting this.
      “What is the answer?” Missy demanded with furious eyes and an arm crushing your chest to the wall.
      “Gave up already?” You don’t know where your courage was coming from.
      “If I were you, I would turn all the mocking down, kitten, I’ve killed for much less than that” She placed a hand in your face roughly rubbing your cheek.
      “You wouldn’t kill me” 
       “Why not? Did you forget? I’m bananas” She said very close to your face singing the last word.
      “You wouldn’t do it because you’re too into the story to let it go, too curious, but also too stubborn to ask for a tip from a insignificant little human, especially a tip from the history of a equally insignificant planet, so all your ego allowed you to do was pin me to a wall and demand for a answer, that was the only way you would get what you want and still be in command” Her grip loosened a little bit, and you could see a hint of shock on her beautiful ice eyes, probably no one has ever read her like that “Or I’m just wrong and you’re bananas, of course” You smiled “Either way, I’m willing to give you a tip: Lazio is a italian region, its name refers to the latins, people from whom the Romans descended. Romans in its turn, had Latin as their official language and the vulgar version of it originated tons of others languages, the most recent creation, as people believe, is Portuguese, witch the largest speaking country is Brazil, also, last lazio’s flower is a metaphor used by a important brazilian writer, Olavo Bilac, in one of his famous poems to refers to his mother tongue”
      “And how the hell I was supposed to know that?” Her teeth were clenched and her fingers were pressing your own jaw, not being gentle at all.
      “You weren’t, that’s rather the point dear, but before you throw all your anger in tiny little me, you were the one who asked for harder riddles, and all the information were on the internet, you just needed to find the right track”
      “That’s not harder, that’s just insignificant knowledge” She growned.
      “I know, but that was the only area that I probably would had a little more knowledge then you, so why not take it as a learning opportunity?” Your heart was pumping on your chest, and the adrenaline was present all over your body. Suddenly, she redrew her hands from you.
      “You’re interesting, pet, I’ll play your little game, but you better keep it high level, I get bored pretty easily you know, and you wouldn’t enjoy to talk with me like this when I’m not captivated, you might get kinda too dead”
      “I do acknowledge your facility in get bored, Mistress, had this in mind since day one”
      “Don’t get too arrogant, puppet, you don’t know so much of little old me as you might think”
      “Or you’re too used to be the attention focus to realize that someone, in the corner, is actually observing and analysing you”
      “Am I this important to you kitty cat? The Doctor might get a bit jealous” She raised a eyebrow teasefully.
      “You’re intriguing, Missy, and as you can see, I love intriguing people, always a good inspiration to my characters”
      “So you might want get a closer look” A smirk was growing in her lips as she got closer.
      “I would, if you hadn’t a research to make, you’re four days late” You said as you placed your forefinger in her lips, pushing her back.
      “You escaped this time baby girl, lets see for how long” the mischief was playing in her eyes.
      “You might be a good flirt, but so am I” You winked at her and started to walk calmly to your previous destination.
     “This will be definitely fun” Soon you heard her heels clicking quickly towards the library.
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scriibble-fics · 4 years ago
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About Clare: what an ass! Pardon my french. I get that James ghosted her, but that does not give her the right to be obnoxious to Diana (funny that, I don’t remember her last name) or to throw around that his parents died. I mean, wtf. I can see James being into the fact that she is very straightforward about being into him and that feeding his broken heart and bruised ego. Plus, there’s quidditch. But she’s no annoying.
Oh, Esther. I felt so sorry for her. She must be feeling awful and it’s not even James’ fault. Sometimes we are a bit detached and way too settled on a monogamic relationship (James gives that vibe, the monogamous guy) and we hardly pay attention that we are not that invested. James seems to be like that with Esther. But I don’t think he was that big of as asshole to her. Breaking up is always hard.
I was not very interested in Daniel and Rick. I confess I was expecting someone who would make James even madder. A Hogwarts ex-boyfriend. Someone who was his rival. Lily was so ethical, I think that goes with her character so much. I can also relate to that. I’ve made decisions exactly the same: “oh, this guy was a bit too obvious around my ex, that would be disrespectful. I can find someone else”. So, I don’t really care for either of these guys. One had her lifestyle, probably doted on her, the other had no idea what he was getting himself into.
I had also thought that Lily might have read about James and Clare on the news. That must hurt like a bitch. Seriously. She was so mature about it all. I know that Lily’s been used to life giving her lemons (been before adulthood, there was Snape, bigotry, Petunia), even rotten ones, so I can see her acting indifferent as a mean of protection.
The smut! Wow. They are both so kinky. And they build each other up so much. I still find it funny that Lily thinks that this is not a sexual activity. Whatever she needs to tell herself.
Loved knowing about Mrs. Evans and that makes soooo much sense with things that we know about Petunia.
Sirius and Remus, oh, I just love them.
I love your takes, as always!! Your reviews and responses and asks are always so thoughtfully-crafted. Seriously, each one is its own mini essay, and not just in length, but in the way you craft an argument.
Your thoughts on Clare and Esther seem to be the norm here: people feel much worse for Esther than Clare, which I totally get. We had to watch James break up with her, whereas we didn’t with Clare. I do wonder how different reactions might have been if we’d seen James ghost Clare and then deal indifferently towards their final conversation, but I doubt there would be be a ton of difference. I think a lot of it comes down to the ways Clare and Esther reacted to James: Clare with anger, Esther with sadness. James dealt with the anger far better than the sadness, and so we all dealt with the anger better too. (Personally, I love how messy Clare is, but I do love chaos, so I know I’m not in the majority here!)
After everyone’s guessing, I considered making Lily date someone that would have caused way more disruption, but I kept Dan. Again, I think part of the reason we’re not as bothered by Dan as we are Clare comes down to James’ recollection of it all--we’ve seen him think through how much Clare bothered Lily on more than one occasion, but we hadn’t seen him even recall Dan up to chapter thirteen. There’s a part of me that wants to write an angsty one-shot of him hating on Dan just to really drive home that James did in fact hate him (I even have scenes in mind, because ~I have no chill~), but I think he cast his jealousy a lot wider than Lily did. Like he said, he only didn’t worry about his friends with her, whereas she was more focused in her jealousy and animosity. Her understanding of her own jealousy--focused mainly on one person, Clare--made her react to James’ jealousy like she’d want him to react to her own--she avoided Dan, like she would have wanted him to avoid Clare if he could have. I don’t think she fully understood how jealous James was of anyone who came near her, because that wasn’t her experience with jealousy, so while it looks like she understands him well, there’s still some miscommunication there. We just didn’t see it, because it happened before the fic started.
Sirius and Remus are so, so fun to write. Like, after writing Jily, writing the two of them is probably my favorite part of this fic. And then writing the Prewett brothers, because I love them. They’re agents of chaos.
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tsukihoshino · 5 years ago
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Super long Sasori post
I’m going to begin this by saying everyone is entitled to their view on Sasori and how to characterize him within the parameters set up by canon or whatever AU/Bent Timeline a person has inserted him into but I do believe there are certain things about him that remain the same no matter what situation you put him in-- otherwise he’s just no longer Sasori (IMO.) So much of his character is about hyper analyzing his words and actions, and what others have said about him through a microscope because the fact of the matter is for such an interesting character he really had such little time.
I was originally not going to bring shipping into this but as I was writing Sasosaku kinda slipped in there, mostly because it felt like it provided a good contrast to what we get of Sasori in canon and how it can translate into fanon.
(All of these opinions are based on the Manga and the Akatsuki formation because OP cannot be assed with novels and filler for the most part...Making an exception for Komushi.)
1. He’s highly manipulative. He’s a puppet master and he has a spy ring. He gathers information so he can use it against people, he manipulates the corpses of what used to be people--or things that LOOK, very often like people. That says a lot about who he is as a person.
And when you first see his real face, when he reveals himself to Chiyo this is the face you get; 
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I don’t get the impression that he’s actually happy to see her given the events that follow, its largely about trying to put his grandmother off center and BOTHER her. Sasori is perfectly capable of acting to get to a desired result--which makes a lot of sense to me because while Bunraku is largely about the Narrator's words there is also the performance element to it via the puppets.
2. He’s all about control. Control of himself, of others, of events. It's really an offshoot of manipulation but I don’t think Sasori blinks without putting thought into the action. ( I mean technically, lmao given his unique anatomy in canon that might be 100% accurate.)
3. He’s not only an artist. The guy is the very definition of being a mad scientist. He sits at a place where Art and Science meet and become something more. It's not one or the other when it comes to Sasori, there is something almost Frankenstein like in the way that he creates his human puppets, the 3rd and himself. Think about the knowledge that had to go into that from basic human anatomy to the chakra system as a whole. I mean we never get a play by play on HOW he did it but we know he’s the only one who ever did and then repeated a similar, much more complicated process on himself.
Then there is his poison, we know he’s primarily relied on the infamous one because it was sooo effective (until it wasn’t, thanks Sakura.) But we have to assume given how he is Sasori makes ART out of deadly concoctions and methods of murder.
To him synthesizing that poison was probably no different than an artist trying to get that perfect shade of red.
The weird thing about Sasori ( and I guess it's just ONE of the many weird things) Is that for an Artist he is very...clinical. When we think about people in the arts we often imagine passionate people like Deidara--bombastic and flamboyant free spirits. 
4. Logical and likely to the extreme.
He’s not a sore loser. When he loses and it's fair he accepts it. He's not bitter about the end of his fight with Sakura and Chiyo, he’s not pissy with Konan--he respects it because to Sasori the weak die and the strong survive, losers don’t have a right to complain when they shoulda got gud to begin with.
I don’t doubt that in Sasori’s logical mind he came to the conclusion that his parents died because they were weak. Ergo unlike Chiyo he’s just completely unaffected by seeing Kakashi, the world just followed its natural order in the death of his parents.
He’s got a reptile brain and he just sort of views people as animals because it's probably simpler--except for himself. He thinks he’s above that, to himself he is a god.
The thing with Komushi...I perceive it as largely an accident but in Sasori’s “perfectly” logical mind he was just like well: it’s sort of Komushi’s own fault and never let a tragedy go to waste because again, hyper logical. Not only that but he was BEGGED to do something for Komushi and there really was nothing to be done for him at that point other than make something useful out of his death.
The problem with being TOO logical is that it is just as detrimental as being too emotional. If we all just went around doing what was logical we’d be no different than animals or machines. Logic dictates we do whatever it takes to survive and come out on top even at the expense of others but because we are balanced by emotion most people don’t live like that.
On the flipside because he’s logical he can be convinced by compelling arguments without ego getting in the way. In this same vein he finds it very difficult to feel sorry about things he’s done in the past but when able to recognize it was wrong he can accept it and simply resolve not to do it in the future--he doesn’t have the capacity to agonize over feelings of guilt.
5. He hates being lied to and he’s impatient. Sasori will lie to everyone around him and even to himself if he can manage it but if he finds out He’s the one being lied to? Intense hate. See points 1&2.
6. He’s blunt and often rude when acting as his natural self. I don’t find the need to explain this one much.
7. Sasori is largely self-focused. He thinks he has a perfect handle on himself and understands exactly why he is the way he is--but it couldn’t be further from the truth. He really doesn’t understand his own feelings much less those of others and what he does understand he often doesn’t care about. This can be changed if a person is able to get through to him.
This is the guy who thought that by removing his concious from a human body and sticking it into what's basically a decorative vase all his problems would MAGICALLY vanish. Because as smart as he is, he was also desperate to escape his own feelings not realizing that when you pour the water in one glass into another glass the contents remain the same.
No matter how hard he tries he cannot escape the problem plaguing him; himself.
8. Sasori does not value life, not his own and certainly not others. Unless you are like that ONE person who is able to get through to him. He has what I would call a “Very narrow heart.”  which simply does not have a lot of space for people. To him it's probably Sasori and “That Person” VS the world.
9. He likes things that last, sculptures and paintings, classical music and literature, things that have been around for ages and withstood the trials of time.
10. He does not do well on his own. He thinks he does but he really doesn’t, when he is by himself he is destructive. When he feels alone he is at his most dangerous. Sasori is very much a person who NEEDS someone to essentially be his emotional center otherwise we get him turning himself into a puppet in what amounted to a one longass theatrical suicide.
11. Sasori was probably always a little...different even as a kid but environment and events certainly played a role. His parents died at an early age and he was essentially lied to and given false hope. (hence the impatience and hatred of lies.) Throw into that an intellect seldom seen in a time of war where child soldiers are the norm. He killed his first person at 8, he earned himself a title denoting that he was so good at killing he soaked the sands in blood. Imagine what that's like at 8, getting a pat on the head everytime you kill someone?
Of course you would become conditioned to believe that killing is right and good when you’re being congratulated and rewarded for being proficient at it.
Its assumption on my part but I do believe Sasori lays somewhere on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.
12. He’s vain AF. Look at him. He made sure to replicate himself in his prime to perfect detail in the places that were most visible, his face and his hands. He could have made himself look like anything but in the end he still chose that form.
13. When he wants something he makes a plan and gets it done. Doesn’t matter how long or what he has to do to get to point A to point B he’s going to do it.
14. He has three main expressions; blank, smug and insane.
15: His power levels are again, insane. He is a master of multiple trades. The guy ganked a Kage at 15 the strongest one Sand ever had by that point, ( Orochimaru was waay older and came out way more damaged as far as we know when he fought Sarutobi.) toppled a nation, made himself a new body with mysterious methods.
It's time for the Sasosaku bit:
Part of the reason why I think the two of them fit so well together is that they are opposites and yet complimentary. Sakura is an antidote and Sasori is the poison, but sometimes a medicine can become a poison and a poison can be used as medicine. Sakura is a close range combatant and Sasori is long but they have this odd intersection of skill sets and interest. They both deal in the human body and the manipulation of it, Sakura’s focus is to maintain it as it is and improve its condition if needed and Sasori’s is to both destroy and create it anew all at once.
If they weren’t trying to kill one another in canon they would have had tons to talk about.
Ultimately Sakura gets gut stabbed not because he was aiming for her but because she got LITERALLY in the way of a family feud. He was going for Chiyo and you can assume that's because he thought his grandma was the bigger threat or because he was still bitter about the past on some subconscious level and was gunning for her--i mean he goes in for Chiyo a second time after he disconnects from the arm Sakura was death gripping. But Sakura’s selfless action is something that viscerally shocks him: 
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And it only gets worse when Chiyo starts feeding her life force into Sakura--a second selfless act on the part of someone he hates and feels wronged by.
Sakura values life and Sasori doesn’t because he doesn’t understand it. He was raised his whole life to think that people like them--Shinobi had no value other than to kill or to be killed. He’s visibly shocked when she starts yelling after socking him in the face about Human lives and family bonds. Like no one had ever mentioned that to him before and forget about risking your life to save someone else's, that goes against his logical lizard brain.
At that point he’s already beaten, he’s already impressed with her. It’s right after her punching him that Sasori gives what amounts to an odd marriage proposal IMO. It was completely pointless of him to even bring it up but you can tell by the “Glint” in his eye that he meant it.
Sasori: Want to become like me? You’ll get what I mean. An undecaying body, Unfettered by a mortal lifespan, capable of being rebuilt over and over again. ( if you were immortal would you offer immortality to someone you had no interest in? Not me. I wouldn’t want to have them around for virtually “forever” in any shape or form. And Sasori is not talking about making Sakura into just some controllable puppet, he’s talking about being JUST like him, sentient thought and movement.)
Sasori: I can make as many people as I want out of puppets….-Looks dead at Sakura- If I want them...but my collection isn’t just about quantity. Quality is important too.
That whole conversation is like A CREEPY FLIRTATION from him because we know what he considers “True beauty” to be. Eternal.
And then it comes to a head where he gives her a “sentimental reward” in the information she wanted. Now I’m not saying Sakura was interested or anything but it seems like he was in some shape or form.
In my opinion when you put someone like Sakura--who is brilliant and logical but also heavily swayed by her emotions with someone like Sasori, brilliant, logical and emotionally repressed. A person who values life with someone who neither values their own life or others what you get is agitation.
Agitation is not a bad thing, it breaks stagnation--which is what, imo drives Sasori to his death. It is the lack of change, he’s made it so he cannot feel physically and he has tried his hardest and for the most part succeeded in numbing his inner feelings.
Part of me is convinced that what ultimately kills him is complacency. He gets so used to being at the top that when he is confronted with someone who neutralizes his life’s work and destroys his collection and keeps confronting and beating him with all the qualities he deems useless and pointless it just drives home the point that everything he has ever done or thought was in vain and on some level wrong. There is no point in winning against them because everything is already destroyed. There is no going back to what he was before, therefore death is preferable.
Through Sakura, in Au’s or alt timelines, or w/e she is able to reach him through their similarities but change him due to the fundamental differences in their nature. 
As to what Sakura gets from Sasori; Someone who clearly respects her skills and understands her interests because his own align--and therefore would be supportive and present. The two of them actually have things in common and therefore shit to talk about.
 In that same vein Sasori seems like the type of person who if he were to fall in love it is to the point of obsession, for someone who was repressed and held themselves apart from others I see him in a lot of ways as almost touch, and certainly affection starved. It becomes addictive to him. (Which is probably why when I write him he’s handsy.) 
We know how Sakura likes to take care of people--we see it with Naruto, Sasuke and Sai. In some of these cases it is often to the detriment of her own well being and Sasori, the selfish person that he is, can reign that in and pull it back so that it isn’t so all consuming. (mostly because the only person she should be worried about is herself and him.)
In the end, If Sasori is the logic and Sakura is the emotion, what you end up with is something more balanced. In the same way that if you were to mix a Poison with an Antidote you would end up with a neutralization.
These are just my personal opinions and thoughts on the matter.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also I headcanon that Sasori is basically Sakura-sexual so -cough- there. I guess that's a topic for another time...
Look at all these conceited Sasori faces: 
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lady-divine-writes · 4 years ago
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A Change in the Weather AU (inspired by Cacophonylights's A Change in the Weather) - Chapter 30
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Read on AO3.
(Author’s note - the above cover gives hint about this chapter, and chapter 31 :D)
Kurt appreciates drama.
He appreciates it to a degree rivaled only by his dad’s love of NASCAR and Finn’s obsession with grilled cheese sandwiches.
It might even be said, by a select few, that he possesses a flair for the dramatic.
Kurt isn’t, however, a fan of the fact that drama seems to follow him wherever he goes, comes courtesy of big ticket items, and hangs over his head like a sword held aloft by a single thread of red rope licorice.
That he doesn’t appreciate.
The drama Kurt does enjoy happens to be genre-specific, goes hand-in-hand with sweeping, over-the-top, romantic gestures, and maybe a dance number or two.
Like the situation he’s currently in, preparing to perch atop a magnificent red roan mare. Kurt has never been up close and personal with a horse before. The first thing he notices is they’re so much taller - and wider - in real life than they seem on screen. He also didn’t know he’d have to be introduced to his horse before he could mount it (though when you use a word like mount, the need for an introduction makes sense).
Their groom teaches Kurt how to brush his mare’s mane (which he is determined to braid somewhere along the way, get it out of her eyes). Then he earns her favor by feeding her sugar cubes. She plucks them one by one from his outstretched palm, and Kurt falls instantly in love.
If his future as a Broadway phenom ever hits the skids, equestrian sports are beginning to look like an acceptable replacement.
But there is a problem.
Everything about potentially riding this horse terrifies him.
Sebastian rented the horses from a stable nearby, one the Smythe family frequents whenever they’re in town. The horses don’t belong to the Smythes, but according to the man who saddled them, they might as well, as Sebastian’s family reserves the exact same beasts every summer.
Sebastian mounts his own mare with the skill of an accomplished equestrian because of course he does. Kurt, on the other hand, requires the assistance of two bubbly blond stable hands (who remind him enough of Brittany and Sam that he has to do a double take) and a large wooden block. Sebastian watches the calamity go down from his own saddle with intense interest and a twinkle in his eye. Between trying to maintain balance and not roll his ankle, Kurt spots Sebastian sporting his signature smirk and braces for the taunts guaranteed to come, which he plans to volley with comebacks he’s already preparing in his head. But when Kurt finally finds his seat, Sebastian gives him a smile that appears to have nothing devious hiding behind it.
“All set?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Kurt manages, panting from the exertion of pulling himself up and throwing a leg over, doing both so enthusiastically he nearly propelled himself clear over the other side of his horse. “All set.”
“Everyone’s first time goes like that,” Sebastian reassures him with a dismissive wave and only a sliver of innuendo.
“Even Julian’s?” Kurt asks bitterly, his ego stinging. He imagines the older Smythe boy launching himself onto a stallion’s muscular back from the ground using only the saddle horn to boost him up, then galloping off into the sunset, leaving the rest of his family in the dust.
But Sebastian dashes that image with a nod. “Yup. Julian excels at a great many things. But for some reason, horseback riding isn’t one of them.”
“A-ha. Somehow I don’t believe you.”
“I’ve got no reason to lie, babe. And besides - I have videos.” Sebastian bounces his eyebrows, apparently relishing the fact. “Lots of them.”
Kurt’s left eyebrow bobs up. “So you gather blackmail material on your brother, too?”
“I don’t see why you’d assume he’d be immune.” Sebastian’s horse, itching to get on the trail, shifts her weight underneath him. He strokes her neck, shushing her to keep her still. It’s such an endearing gesture, so unlike the Sebastian Kurt once despised … but so much like the Sebastian he’s grown to love. “It’s tit for tat, really. Lord knows he’s got tons of stuff on me. I’ve got stuff on Liv, too, but I’m smarter than to use it.”
“Why’s that?”
Sebastian barks out a laugh that, underneath the surface, is laced with genuine fear. “Are you kidding? She’d murder me in my sleep!”
“Then why have it?”
“As leverage against Julian.”
“And that works how exactly?”
“If I let something I have on Livvie slip but I can convince her that Julian is responsible …” Sebastian sucks a breath in through his teeth, his eyes going distant, like he’s imagining the outcome of such an act, the gruesome devastation that would ensue. “But I’d only do that as a last resort. Julian would have to do something particularly heinous for me to go that far.”
Kurt shakes his head disapprovingly. Poor Olivia. Kurt wonders if she knows that she’s Sebastian’s nuclear option. Sebastian and Julian must be rubbing off on Kurt more than he knows because he also wonders how much that information might be worth. “Oh what a twisted life you lead. You are truly a criminal mastermind.”
“You know it,” Sebastian says, throwing Kurt a wink. He clicks his tongue and leads his horse away, Kurt’s mare following behind as if she knew that was the plan all along.
Sebastian takes them to a rise overlooking the beach, the trail to get there narrower than Kurt likes. He’s sure his horse knows what she’s doing. This isn’t her first time walking this trail, after all. But again, Kurt’s mare is a big animal, and she lists from side to side. This trail, flush up against the cliff side, is one Kurt would think twice about taking on foot before calling it quits, doing an about face, and going off in search of the nearest coffee shop. Since there are no seat belts, the only thing keeping him from sliding off and falling to his death is the strength of his thighs.
Kurt thought his thighs were strong. Only now does he see that cutting the 30 Minute Buns and Thighs video he used to do religiously from his cardio rotation was a huge mistake.
Fear for his life aside, the view from the overlook is spectacular, but the height vomit inducing. Kurt leans forward, barely budging in his saddle to peek over the edge, and his stomach lurches up into his throat.
He has to trust his horse. She wouldn’t go running off this cliff for no reason. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt herself. But what about him? Would she buck him off? What motivation would she have to do so? Horses, like dogs, can sense the good in people, can’t they? Not just the shallow good like, “I put a dollar in a Salvation Army bucket once,” but the deep down, selfless good. Kurt isn’t a bad person, but he can be a bit inconsiderate at times, especially with wait staff.
If this horse decides to judge him, his inability to stop snapping at waiters will be the hill he ends up dying on, he just knows it.
The path takes his mare nauseatingly close to the edge for a brief second, and Kurt bites his tongue to keep from screaming.
“Whoa, Nellie,” he says in a wobbly voice, pulling up beside Sebastian’s mare, stopped on a ledge wide enough to accommodate both animals … and the two of them should Kurt decide to crawl off his horse, lay flat on his stomach, and hug the ground.
Sebastian, watching Kurt’s silent crisis run its course, points out, “You do know your horse’s name is Desiree, right?”
“I do. And by the way, I have questions about that. But whoa, Desiree doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
Sebastian shrugs. “You’re not wrong.”
“So,” Kurt starts, swallowing half a dozen times to stop his voice from shaking, “does your exceptional riding proclivity qualify you as a ‘horse boy’ then?”
Sebastian chuckles. “No. No, Livvie is the horse person in our family. Always has been”
“That’s right,” Kurt says, wrapping the reins around his hand for security so tightly he’s afraid his fingers might turn purple. “She got the pony.”
“Mm-hmm. Pony, private riding lessons, the whole bit. The trails around the beach are perfect for horseback riding. So when we’d come out here, my dad and mom would take her, and Julian and I were forced to tag along. To teach us important life lessons, they said. I think they just didn’t want to leave us alone, afraid of the trouble we’d get into unsupervised. Needless to say, Molly here and I have a special relationship.”
Kurt eyes Sebastian coyly through lowered lashes. “Should I be jealous?”
Sebastian eyes him back, wearing a way-too-suggestive smile considering the subject matter. “Tremendously.”
“I’ve always wanted to learn to ride a horse,” Kurt admits. “I think a lot of kids do.”
“Did you picture yourself as Liz Taylor in National Velvet? Or Robert Redford in The Electric Horseman?”
“More like Viggo Mortensen in Hidalgo.”
Sebastian gives that some thought before commenting, green eyes aimed at the sky, peering at strings of clouds overhead. “I can see that. I think you’d look rather distinguished in a Stetson Diamante.”
“I’ve always thought so,” Kurt says, pulling himself up in his stirrups, a proud expression on his face.
Sebastian’s eyes, tracing the clouds, find the ocean, stare off into the sunset as the tide rolls up the sand. “Julian teased her endlessly for it.”
“Julian did?” Kurt asks with a dubious tilt of his head.
“Yup. Just Jules. I didn’t.”
“Why not?” It sounds like an odd question after Kurt asks it, grilling his boyfriend to find out why he didn’t cut down his older sister over one of her favorite hobbies.
“I envied her her love of riding,” Sebastian replies without turning to look Kurt’s way, the way Kurt had expected. “You know, when kids ask their parents for a pony, it’s usually because they think it’s going to be fun and exciting, make them look cool, turn them into a superhero or something. Not her. She loved riding for the sake of riding and for no other reason. She loved horses simply because she wanted to take care of a horse, even before she ever sat on one … or so my parents tell me.” He looks at the reins pooled in his hands, the horse’s mane beneath them chocolate brown, close to the shade of his own hair. Sebastian sniffs … or Kurt thinks he does. He only sees the subtle movement, doesn’t hear from where he and his horse are standing. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything that way.”
Kurt nudges his horse closer, feeling too far away with the few feet of space between them. “Not even your car?”
“Oh, well, cut me to the quick, I guess.” Sebastian throws his head back and laughs. This time Kurt definitely hears him sniffle, sees him wipe a tear from his cheek with the back of his hand. But there must only be the one because when he turns to look at Kurt, his cheeks are dry. “No, Olivia is special. When you take riding lessons, the first thing your instructor tells you is that riding is less about getting on a horse’s back and flying down the straightaway and more about taking care of something other than yourself. You put your horse first at all times. Its comfort is paramount.” Sebastian looks back at the ocean, clears a catch from his throat. “To ride a horse is to put your trust in someone else, and have someone else trust you back. Whatever you do, you do to bring out the best in the animal you choose to ride. If you hate horses, you’re going to be a lousy horse person. Olivia doesn’t see things the way they are,” he says after a pause. “She sees things the way they could be. People, too. Always finding the best in everyone. She’s not a cynic like me and my brother. She inherited the lion’s share of my parents’ optimism and goodwill. She didn’t leave any for the rest of us. And she knows what she wants, has since she was little. She launches into life with both feet. So does Julian, though, in his case, he doesn’t always land on them.”
“What about you?”
A hint of the cynicism Sebastian mentioned comes to rest in the corners of his mouth, pushing it into a half-grin. “I’m not quite as brave as they are.”
“I think you are.”
“Reckless isn’t the same as brave, babe.”
“I think it depends on how you look at it, on how you define reckless. But you have so many opportunities available to you. And a built in safety net. You can afford to be reckless.”
Sebastian chews his lower lip, seems to contemplate his next words carefully. “Because I have money, right?”
“Right,” Kurt answers quickly, then suddenly feels like he’s taken a wrong turn down a one-way street.
“Money doesn’t help when you don’t have a path.”
“Yes it does!” Kurt says, wondering why it is that Sebastian doesn’t see his wealth as a boon when it’s as clear as day to Kurt. Enjoy all the things his wealth can buy him. Sebastian had repeated that sentiment last night when they were talking about Kurt going to NYADA, and taking that $10,000 check so he could get there. Which proves that wealth can definitely buy a future. A good one, even if Sebastian might be on the fence about which way to go. “It can help you build your own path. It can build you a dozen paths!”
“But where would they lead?” It’s a rhetorical question, but one that sounds like he’s pleading with Kurt to give him an answer. Not in general terms, but a specific destination. “If I don’t know which direction I want to go, what good does a path do me?”
“It gets you started going somewhere! Anywhere!”
“And what’s wrong with staying where you are when you don’t know where to go?” Sebastian asks, his voice so thick under the weight of his emotions, it cracks. This isn’t just a friendly discussion they’re having anymore, Kurt realizes. This is something else. Something Kurt doesn’t fully understand. “Isn’t that what they teach you in wilderness survival? Stay where you are until someone finds you? Hug a tree and shit?”
That remark strikes Kurt as so absurd considering the context of their conversation, he almost bursts out laughing. “Do I look like I would know the answer to a wilderness survival question?” But then that context becomes clearer, and Sebastian’s remark even more absurd. Wait … is he thinking about … staying in Ohio!?!?
“Do you think money solves everything, Kurt? Do you think those rich people on the Titanic could buy their way off that sinking ship?”
“They kinda did,” Kurt says sheepishly, face scrunching apologetically knowing that’s not the answer Sebastian wants to hear. “They were the only ones allowed on the lifeboats, so …
“Yeah. Right. Okay,” Sebastian says, each word clipped within an inch of its life. He turns away in frustration, focusing on the sunset as if he has to watch every last minute of it or suffer dire consequences.
“But you’re not on a sinking ship,” Kurt continues, watching his step with every word. “You can literally choose any direction and go. You wouldn’t have to know what’s there or even have a reason why. Just pack a bag and start walking.”
“You make it sound so simple,” Sebastian mutters grimly, followed by something else Kurt doesn’t catch, although he does hear the words know what you want to do.
“It sounds to me like you’re making excuses,” Kurt counters but not unkindly, “and I don’t know what for. To tell you the truth, I feel like I’ve entered an argument already in progress.”
Sebastian bristles, his back going rigid. Kurt holds his breath, unsure what he’s about to do. Would he turn his horse around and leave without a word, abandon Kurt there on the top of this rise in the dark?
No. Kurt is confident he wouldn’t. Sebastian isn’t that person. Not anymore. He wouldn’t do that.
Besides, Kurt’s mare would simply follow his. He’s really in no danger unless Sebastian comes up to him and shoves him off his horse.
Kurt isn’t convinced his thighs would protect him.
Kurt’s words seem to take the steam out of Sebastian. When he turns around to face Kurt, he looks tired. Worn down. “I’m sorry. Kurt. I’m not trying to start a fight. And don’t think I don’t understand where you’re coming from. I do. I really do. Maybe not from first hand experience but I get it. And you’re absolutely right. When you don’t have money, when you have to worry about where your next meal is coming from or how you’re going to pay your rent, it sucks. Money greases so many wheels, can take you to so many places. I’m fortunate. So fucking fortunate. But there’s something to be said about having an identity that doesn’t revolve around money.”
“I don’t … I don’t think I understand.” Kurt says it, but then he realizes that’s not entirely true. On some level, he does. For a good portion of his high school career, he had to contend with being known as the one out-and-proud gay kid. To most people, it was his sole descriptor. But there’s so much more to him.
Just like there’s so much about Sebastian’s situation that Kurt doesn’t understand.
“No matter where I am, if I’ve been there longer than a week and you ask someone about me, ask them to describe who I am, they’ll tell you I’m some rich douche. That’s it. That’s what I am. That’s who I was at Dalton. It doesn’t matter that I was a straight A student, 5.0 GPA, on the lacrosse team, that I was a Warbler, or any of that. I’m an asshole and I have money. That’s it. That’s my identity. But not you,” Sebastian says, his voice becoming hard and soft at the same time. “You’re Kurt Hummel. You’re a trail blazer. You’re compassionate and brave and talented ...”
“Who told you that?” Kurt interjects, squashing uncomfortable laughter with disbelief.
“Blaine for one,” Sebastian admits, though from his expression, he would rather pry up his fingernails than say that name. “The Warblers, your friends at that public school you went to, your teacher Will Schuester, your father, your stepmother, Finn and Puck. You do your own thing no matter what other people say. And even if they knock you down, you stick up for them. You ran for student body president on a platform of stopping bullying. I would never do that!”
“You don’t want to stop bullying?” Kurt asks, appalled enough to overlook the fact that Sebastian knows any of that. But when Sebastian shoots him a You have got to be kidding me! look, Kurt is immediately confronted with the reality of who he’s talking to. Sebastian was a bully! He blackmailed and schemed. He photoshopped vulgar pictures of Kurt’s stepbrother, and tried to steal his boyfriend. He’s only recently redeemed himself for any of that. There are people who would still consider him a bully - Kurt’s friends, people he loves - who haven’t had the opportunity Kurt has to get to know him.
But it’s also an unfair question. From what Kurt has learned, Sebastian wasn’t always that way. The person he was while he was at Dalton - that person was created, and by someone other than himself.
“I would never run for student body president in the first place!” Sebastian yells. “I don’t care about other people’s problems! I can’t be bothered! If I went to your school God forbid and people bullied me, I wouldn’t want to help them! I’d want to watch the place burn to the ground!”
“That … that’s not true!”
Sebastian leans towards him threateningly. But not threatening to hurt him. Threatening to make him see the truth. “Isn’t it!?”
“I …” Kurt puts a hand to his head and closes his eyes. Sebastian’s words pound in his brain. They connect a bunch of dots, but they also leave other sections of the overall picture blank. “I’m sorry, I … I don’t know what’s going on. We’ve gone from horses to your sister to student body president to arson and I … I think … I may have missed the point somewhere.”
“The point I’ve been trying to make,” Sebastian says slowly, bringing his mare closer to Kurt’s, “and very badly is that money is a wonderful thing to have. But it shouldn’t be your identity. You need to be something more. Money will never make you a whole person if you can’t be one without it.”
Kurt nods, relieved to have it summed up so nicely before either one of them accidentally says something they’ll both regret. With his own deadline of NYADA looming, Kurt forgot that Sebastian said he hasn’t chosen a college yet. What if that’s not the entire story?
What if he doesn’t know what he wants to do with the rest of his life? And what if that scares him?
“Okay,” Kurt says, accepting Sebastian’s hand when it finds his. “I … I think I get it. That makes sense.”
“I’m glad. Because believe it or don’t, I didn’t bring you up here to start an argument. I just wanted to watch the sun set. Show you one of my favorite thinking spots. To be honest …” Sebastian shakes his head “… I don’t know where half of that came from.”
Kurt gives Sebastian’s hand a comforting squeeze. He hopes that Sebastian might be willing to bring this subject up again at the beach house when they’re both a little more level-headed, better equipped to handle it. “Where would you say you fall on that spectrum? Between being whole and being not?”
“I’d have to say I’m extensively ventilated …” Sebastian brings Kurt’s hand to his mouth for a kiss, disarming smile locked back in place. “But on the mend.”
Kurt watches Sebastian run his thumb over his knuckles, hesitant to give his hand back, even with the darkness settling in around them. “You know,” Kurt says, “this picture you’re painting of who you are … if I wasn’t here, seeing it for myself, I don’t think I would ever believe any of this about you.”
Sebastian frowns, looks like he’s about to rush to his own defense, but he stops. “I guess I didn’t really give you the chance to find out for yourself.”
“Why isn’t this the foot you put forward all the time?”
“Because … I don’t like being vulnerable with people.”
“You don’t have to be vulnerable. But nice would be …” Kurt searches his head for the perfect word, but only comes up with “… nice. You know what they say - more flies with honey and all that.”
Sebastian sputters. “There you go again with those archaic expressions! Who on earth wants to be surrounded by flies? Being this version of me is too much work for too little pay off most of the time. For what I usually want, my methods get me results quicker.”
“So … what does that say about me?” Kurt asks. “You and I have been at this for months. And it’s not as if I rolled over for you the first chance I got.”
Sebastian tugs Kurt’s hand, brings him close enough to give him the whisper of a kiss against his cheek. “That says you’re worth the effort.”
***
It’s been well over a week since the Smythes descended on the beach house, and as much fun as it is having them there, Kurt is steadily becoming paranoid. He wouldn’t have had Olivia not made that remark about keeping an eye out for her mother. Now he’s convinced that every look Charlotte tosses his way holds significance.
A silent warning.
That she knows about him and Sebastian, and that the two of them are royally screwed - Sebastian more so than he, of course. Only she’s too nice to shred him to pieces in front of the family, so she’s waiting to do it in private.
He won’t know for certain until she corners him and they talk.
So he does the mature thing.
He avoids being alone with her at all costs.
He doesn’t hide behind curtains or vault over furniture when he sees her approach. He simply makes certain he’s never by himself for longer than a few minutes. That amounts to trips to the bathroom and any time he needs to change clothes, which (and he’s not proud of this) he’s done twice as an excuse not to talk to her. With Sebastian’s new found need to be with Kurt every conceivable second, that takes care of every time else. Still, in the confines of the beach house, Kurt knows it’s impossible to dodge Charlotte forever. He just hopes he can figure out what he’s going to say when the time comes, how he’s going to defend his and Sebastian’s actions.
How he’s going to make being a boyfriend-for-hire in order to deceive her in specific sound not so bad.
Sitting on Sebastian’s lap on the porch swing, Kurt’s favorite place in the house to be hands down, he’s finding it difficult to relax. Even though she’s nowhere where she can see them, Kurt feels her eyes on him. Several times he pops his head up and scans the beach to see if she’s walking along the shore, but no. She’s not there.
This is all in his head. He knows it. He’s building it up to something bigger than it needs to be. But if he doesn’t deal with things soon, he’s going to give himself a nervous condition.
“Hey, babe. I have to run to the bathroom,” Sebastian says, sliding his hands underneath Kurt’s rear and relocating him to the far side of the swing.
“O-okay,” Kurt says, a knot starting in his stomach, like a stop watch zeroing out before a tie-breaker race. “Don’t take too long.”
“Yeah, alright. I … won’t,” Sebastian says, giving Kurt an odd look before heading towards the door to his room. Kurt watches him go, crossing every finger on both hands and his toes in his socks, praying Sebastian returns before Charlotte discovers he’s alone and swoops in. Kurt doesn’t see her, hasn’t seen her for most of the day actually. He’d be hard pressed to say whether or not she’s even there.
Kurt and Sebastian ate dinner on the porch, intend on sleeping out there, too, in the tent still set up in the far corner. Did he see her before dinner? Or did Greg take her out to eat? They’d been discussing an Italian place not too far from the beach. They could be there, enjoying a romantic evening alone, with not a single thought to the deceptive practices of her son and his boyfriend. Or did she go shopping with Olivia? Olivia mentioned wanting to hit Yankee Candle for apple pie scented wax melts after stumbling across one of Kurt and Sebastian’s vanilla scented votives. That’s a possibility.
Unfortunately, there’s only one way for him to inconspicuously check. He’d have to go inside and take a peek for himself. If he texts Olivia, he runs the risk of her coming out to ask him what’s up with her mother in tow.
Kurt gets so wrapped up in thinking about where Charlotte could be that he misses her sweeping through the door right as Sebastian leaves, stopping her son to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey, Kurt!” she says brightly, striding across the porch toward him, wrapped in the coziest looking, camel-colored, cashmere duster. He’s been looking for one just like it - not super chunky the way knitted dusters tend to be. This one looks soft, and clingy in all the right places. And that color - super complementary. Once she’s done verbally disemboweling him, he’ll have to ask her where she got it. “I was hoping I’d get you alone! You and my son seem to be locked together at the hip lately! I’d need a crowbar to separate you two!”
“That seems to be the consensus,” Kurt says, banishing the image of sweet matriarch Charlotte Smythe wielding a crowbar. He shouldn’t be this nervous around her. She’s never given him reason to be. She treats him like he’s part of the family. Besides, Sebastian and Julian both agree that Olivia is the scary one. Not their mother.
Then again, where do they think Olivia gets it from?
“That’s not a bad thing. I remember being your age, locked at the hip with my boyfriend,” she reveals, a speck of wickedness coloring her smile. “But as much as I adore my son, I was hoping I could talk to you - one on one.”
Kurt’s stomach flip-flops the way it did during his NYADA audition. The only difference is, at his audition, he had a pair of gold pants to give him strength. He loves borrowing Sebastian’s Ralph Lauren lounge pants, but it’s not the same. “Absolutely. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I feel like you may be avoiding me … just a little,” she says, bringing a hand up, putting her thumb and forefinger together for emphasis.
“Oh, uh … no. No I haven’t. Not … consciously,” he fibs, but she stares him down. Even if she doesn’t know about him and Sebastian pretending to be boyfriends, she knows that Kurt has been lying about something. Charlotte is an intelligent woman. Kurt is not about to disrespect her. “I’m sorry if it seems that way. That wasn’t my intention.”
She stays silent a moment longer, scrutinizing him the same way Carole does him and Finn when her motherly instincts tell her not to trust them. And Carole’s instincts are pretty much consistently on the nose. But Charlotte may not feel comfortable scolding her son’s boyfriend.
She may have decided to let the guilt eat Kurt away for her.
“Sebastian says you have quite a fondness for this old swing,” she says. “But before you came along, he’d never come out here. Ever. You would think he was afraid of heights or something the way he avoided it, and my son is definitely not afraid of heights. In fact, if someone were to ask me what Sebastian is afraid of, I’d have to say there isn’t a thing … except losing you. And your good opinion of him.”
Kurt goes temporarily speechless. He wants to say he knew that, but he can’t. Because he didn’t. “Really?”
“A-ha. So imagine my surprise when I found out that the two of you weren’t actually an item.”
Kurt’s eyes pop open. He hopes he looks stunned, hurt, maybe even a little too scandalized for words. But he knows he’s not that good an actor. Not yet. Give him a couple of semesters, maybe a year abroad …
But right now, he probably looks exactly the way he feels.
Busted.
“That’s … that’s not …” Kurt tries, but he can’t get the rest of the words out. They physically refuse to leave his tongue.
“It’s not what?” Charlotte asks in that stern way mothers do when weeding out the truth.
When they know for a fact that they’re being duped.
“You’re … you’re right.” Those words are a bit harder to say but at least they come out. “We weren’t a couple. B-but we are now,” he adds, praying that makes everything right, that he didn’t inadvertently toss Sebastian under the bus and lose him everything.
“As of …?” she presses.
Oh God, Kurt thinks, losing the feeling in his entire body. Even his tongue goes numb. Nope. He didn’t lose Sebastian everything before. But he may right now. God, he wishes he’d thought to talk to Sebastian about this! Gotten some sort of story straight. “A…after the gala?” More like after they got to North Carolina, but Kurt is not about to split hairs.
Charlotte, who had been sitting with her legs crossed, an elbow resting comfortably on one knee and her chin cradled in the palm of her hand, straightens in surprise.
Oh no! Kurt panics, knowing by the look in her eyes that she’s putting two and two together, time lines readjusting, figuring out just how long they haven’t been a couple.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for lying to you! It’s … it’s all my fault!” he says, hoping that if he keeps her attention locked on himself, that if he can somehow spin it so he’s the perpetrator here and not Sebastian, she’ll forget that they were going to empty out his bank account and take back his tuition money. They can’t do that! Not after what Sebastian told him today! Not after everything he might be afraid of! “Are you angry? Disappointed? I’ll make it up to you somehow! I swear!”
“Calm down, dear.” She has an exquisite poker face. Kurt has to give her that. He doesn’t have a clue what she’s thinking. But the parts of her expression that aren’t blank are slightly sad. “I’m not disappointed. Or angry.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” Kurt says, feeling like he’s walking on eggshells made of plate glass and battery acid, “how did you figure us out?”
Charlotte smirks. “Well, whether they like it or not, I know my children. And to be honest, because he’s my youngest, I probably know Sebastian best of all. Which is how I know this arrangement the two of you had …” She wiggles her forefinger between Kurt and an invisible placeholder that represents Sebastian “… whatever it entailed, wasn’t your idea. But I can appreciate you throwing yourself on that grenade, and don’t think I don’t know why.” Kurt is about to launch into a new line of disagreeing, but Charlotte sighs uncomfortably, and that makes him hold back. “Kurt, I’ve walked in on my son mid-coitus more times than any mother should, and what I saw when I walked in on the two of you … that wasn’t Sebastian. Not the one I’ve seen torturing himself with different sexual partners for years. The giggling, the smiling - that was different. It was honest. It’s what I’ve wanted for him for longer than I can tell you. And I was so happy to see it. But in a way, because of that, I knew it wasn’t real.”
“But … why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“Because of all the boys my son knows, he chose you. So he had to have a reason. And aside from that, I like you, Kurt. My husband husband likes you. We think that you’re good for our son. So I thought that, given enough time, what you two were pretending to be might become real.” Charlotte smiles. “As it turns out, it did.”
“Yes, it did,” Kurt agrees shyly.
“And I don’t want you to worry. Sebastian is safe. And that’s not contingent on you or on anything the two of you do. Gregory and I, we both bear some responsibility for Sebastian hatching this little scheme. Ultimatums don’t always work the way you intend them to.” That should sound like she’s admitting defeat, but the wink she gives Kurt admits anything but. “Just make sure you get what he promised you.”
“I did,” Kurt assures her. “It and a lot more.”
“Good,” she says. “Very good. You know, being a parent, you raise your kids the best way you know how, in the hopes that they grow into adults that can make good decisions on their own. I may not agree with all of the decisions my children have made, but they are their decisions to make. I can’t micromanage their lives. I have to trust them.”
“I think my dad would agree with you,” Kurt says, thinking back on all the times his father stressed that Kurt was an adult, that he’d be out of the house soon, and that his decisions were his own. And as much as Kurt appreciated the sentiment, the look in his father’s eye when he said it, one he probably thought he was covering so well, gutted him.
“Your father is a good man,” Charlotte says, giving Kurt’s hand a pat. “And from what I can see, he did a wonderful job raising you.”
“Thank you,” Kurt says, feeling way more at ease now than he did when this conversation started. “For what it’s worth, I think you guys did an amazing job as parents, too.”
Charlotte’s smile dips, wobbles at the corners, and Kurt wonders if he said something wrong. She sits back in the swing, turns her head slightly away. She gazes down the beach, the same way Sebastian does when he thinks about something sad, watching the water rush in to meet the shore, then out to join the waves. “Thank you, Kurt,” she says finally. “That does mean a lot.”
***
Julian’s demeanor has been changing in increments.
Kurt thinks he may be the only one who notices since he’s spent time alone with every member of the Smythe family and no one else has mentioned it. But Julian has become sullen.
Downright sulky.
He hasn’t gotten on Sebastian’s case recently half as much as when he got there, hasn’t flirted with Kurt in the past few days other than to tell him he looks good wearing his clothes (a black Henley Kurt thought was Sebastian’s, which had found itself in Sebastian’s room due to an unfortunate dry cleaning mishap).
The change started about the same time Kurt began to notice that the long phone conversations Julian had been having with Cooper - the ones that started in the family room or in the kitchen after dinner but eventually sent Julian outside searching for privacy - seemed to happen less and less, and with no estimated time of Cooper’s arrival in sight. Kurt reminds himself that Julian and Cooper’s relationship has always been a volatile one, so maybe this is just the way things go between them.
But it’s still heartbreaking.
Julian seemed so happy when he first arrived, first told them about Cooper spending the summer with him, and now ...
Kurt hopes that their flame hasn’t burned out so quickly, the way he feared his with Sebastian would, the thrill of the chase gone, the shine of the taboo beginning to take on a matte finish.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Julian says, catching Kurt off guard and staring as he makes his way up to their towels spread out on the beach. Kurt wasn’t staring at Julian, even though he’d been looking in the man’s direction. He was just staring, lost in his own thoughts. But he’ll never convince Julian of that. “Why don’t you take a picture? It lasts longer. In fact, I have a few I can text you, save you the trouble. They’re organized by various states of undress …”
“That’s a surefire way to end up with a broken screen,” Olivia says while Sebastian scoots his towel over, scoops up his boyfriend.
“Happen to have any of you in a Franciscan robe?” Kurt counters. “Maybe even a kaftan?”
Julian smirks, and even though it makes him look as handsome as ever, it doesn’t brighten his face, doesn’t reach his eyes. “You know, I might.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Olivia snickers, “so be careful what you ask for. Even if he does, nothing says it’ll be PG.”
“Speaking of, what are you two gentlemen doing tomorrow night?” he asks. “I mean, between the sex, sex, and more sex.”
“Have they been having a lot of sex?” Olivia asks offhandedly while she scrolls through her phone.
“As far as I can tell. I don’t know one hundred percent. They haven’t invited me to join in.”
“We don’t have any hard and fast plans,” Sebastian says, diverting the topic of conversation away from his and Kurt’s sex life. “Why do you ask? And before you say anything, threesomes are out.”
“Airiel Down is playing at Red Hat,” Julian says, reaching into the pocket of his shorts for his phone. “I got two tickets. I was going to take Cooper, but he hasn’t …” Julian’s voice waffles, goes minutely hoarse.
Olivia’s eyes dart his way.
No. That didn’t go unnoticed, Kurt thinks when her gaze shifts to Sebastian, and then Sebastian looks at Kurt. All three of them had heard the same thing.
“Anyway, anyway,” Julian says, pushing past it, “no reason for them to go to waste.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you could still go. Scalp the other ticket,” Sebastian suggests, but from the tone of his voice, it sounds like he’s asking another question entirely.
“I’m sure, little bro. No worries.” Julian chuckles, but it’s as dry as the sand they’re sitting on. They watch in silence as Julian types out a text and attaches the electronic tickets. A second later, Sebastian’s phone in his pocket beeps. “Your boyfriend here needs a night out, and exposure to some of our fine North Carolina culture.” Julian grins. For a moment, he’s closer to normal than he’s been in days. “Besides, you two need to give that beautiful ass of his a break.”
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ask-the-clergy-bc · 5 years ago
Note
Could you do something for vampire papas + Copia with an s/o?
*rubs hands together* YOU BET I COULD! 
Also I might just through in a mild warning for predatory behavior and mentions of blood since these are vampires, and still have instincts to hunt and drink! The relationships will not be like normal ones, so it will have some power imbalances and the like! 
Papa Nihil:
~You’re one of two human lovers he has had in his very long undeath that has not been supernaturally altered in some way. The rest of his harem and close followers have all been partially turned or became thralls to his wills (all willing of course.) But you are different. Nihil likes you the way you are and never wants to risk changing you beyond recognition. He’s a very old vampire and one with unspeakable power- so his mere essence could warp you it’s so strong! Nihil prefers you to be yourself and with your right state of mind in check! 
~Keeps you away from his sons, as they are turned as well. He doesn’t trust them to not treat you like food or as another expendable servant. Nihil makes it very known that you are NOt just a mere ghoul or worshiper. You may be human, but you still have an important place in his shriveled, black mess he calls a heart. Nihil likes to remind everyone that you are not a mere plaything, and any harm that comes to you will result in swift and harsh punishment. 
~Nihil likes to pull a Gary Oldman, and his form can sometimes change. He’s old and powerful enough to not be hurt by sunlight or water (so long as it’s not blessed.) often times, when he’s feeling cheeky, he will shift from his decrepit form to that of his prime when he was a young man! It startles you every time when you see the tall, younger man with pitch black hair grinning at your door! Nihil especially likes shifting to look younger because not many, even in his close circle, recognize him and he can spend his day with you without being bothered too much. 
~Despite looking like he could die any moment, Nihil is a powerful being and has mastered many vampire arts. But it’s not something he’s particularly fond of lording over you. To him, your time together is the time he DOESN’T want to think about his long millennia of being a walking corpse. Your time together makes him feel human and nostalgic for the past when his emotions were stronger. Nihil doesn’t usually have deep feelings for others like he does for you, so he wants YOU to feel loved and appreciated when you are together. He knows you ALREADY know he’s a vampire, let you two forget for just a while.
~Never wants to turn you, because despite the perks, living forever actually really sucks. He’s lived for over a thousand years, and it still has not brought him closer to true happiness. Nihil would not force you to spend undeath with him just to be bored or sad that you cannot die. You two have no doubt had heated, emotional talks about it but he just can’t do that to you. “I might be a monster, mio caro, but I am not a monster enough to curse you like this.” 
~Doesn’t need your blood and doesn’t really want it. Nihil likes to think of you more than just food, and he has tons of servants and worshipers to feed from. Why bother yourself? He’s sure you taste very good, especially to him, but you are more to him than an expendable follower. Keep your blood, he won’t need it! But he will share a nice bottle of wine with you! He’s the type of old vampire that can stomach human food again! He much rather have a huge meal than worry about over feeding on you. 
Papa I:
~It’s amazing how indescribably powerful this vampire is, but is so gentle and almost tender with you. Papa has a list of things he has thanks to his vampiric nature- strength, speed, shape-shifting, etc. But with you he just comes off as any other satanic old man... except with a scary gaze to his mismatched eyes and big sense of foreboding that follows him. 
~Refuses to drink from you at all, even when you insist it’s fine. Papa always looks so appalled at the offer and looks you dead in the eye.“You are not a sacrificial lamb to my alter. I will not treat you like common prey.” Papa only ever drinks his blood from willing acolytes who serve him in a goblet. But even if you offered to fill his goblet he wouldn’t drink it. He sees you as too valuable and beloved to ever consider it. 
~Papa has debated on turning you into another vampire. On one hand he adores you and does want to spend eternity with you. On the other, he knows that vampiric nature can also be a curse that twists even the most noble of men into monsters and cold creatures. Could he ever be selfish enough to inflict it upon you just from his own needs? Unless Satan himself wills it, he’s in turmoil over the idea. 
~Papa is still the endless well of knowledge. He has spent centuries collecting and writing various pieces, so he knows a lot. Because you are so dear to him he is even willing to teach you all about vampires- even if it means you could kill him. Granted, he’s so strong there is very little you could probably do to hurt him... but he trusts you. 
~He actually really likes when you ask about his life as a vampire- that you show so much interest in everything that he has seen and experienced. Papa has been in undeath so long he forgets your life is so short. Papa will sit with you for hours and tell you everything you want to know! 
~The only thing that worries him about you, aside from your short life, is people on the outside being threatened by your relationship. He knows his followers would never harm you, he knows he is strong enough to protect you from anything- but he’s always been weary of the outside world. It takes one angry village or pompous vampire hunter to take you away from him. Despite all this, Papa always gives you the option to walk away and seek a normal life. To forget him and never look back. But you never abandon him, and he’s always eternally grateful you love him regardless. 
Papa II:
~This fucker is the vampire that comes through your window at night. Papa likes to be the dark and mysterious predatory vampire, even if you two are an established fling. No matter how long it has been, he’s always willing to be a silhouette in your window that stalks in menacingly. You always know it’s him when you feel a cold hand caress your neck and, at this point, you just welcome him into your bed. He’s also startled you many times by prowling around your shared quarters in the dead of night. He always chuckles as he never means it! 
~Vampire Papa has a way bigger ego than his normal counter part. This is because he is incredibly powerful and has lived a VERY long time. This can cause a bit of imbalance between you too, as you always get the feeling he never takes you seriously. But, what threat could you possibly be as a human? Sometimes you get frustrated with his vain attitude. Papa tries to make up for it by being respectful and polite to you- like an equal. He’s just not entirely worried you could ever bring him physical harm. 
~Papa respects you enough to not make you a mindless ‘bride of dracula’ minion. Granted, he DOES have a harem of lesser vampirie lovers, but they don’t hold a candle to you. Papa stills respects you and your feelings. If you can all help it, you just avoid his harem. Instead, your relationship is stronger intellectually and (for as much as he can) emotionally. He’s still withdrawn emotionally, but Papa has lived long enough where he knows how to support you. His emotions died a long time ago but you are the only sunshine he has had in his dark life for a while- he’s not about to lose you to apathy.
~Out of all the vampires, Papa was the hardest to get into a relationship with. For one, he had a harem and all the company he could want so he wasn’t actively seeking any type of mate like figure. Second, he knows how short lived you are. Papa tried to keep you at arms length as best as he could emotionally when he started to grow fond of you. He’s very aware of how much of a walking corpse he truly is, and you just remind him of it- of how he can;t give a whole, feeling human heart to you. But the more you stayed around, unaware of your effect on the vampire, the more he was unwilling to let you go- even if your time together becomes short. 
~Papa LOVES to drink from you if you give him permission. Among his servants, it’s the highest honor. But for you, it’s just a display of how much you love and trust him. He’s a powerful undead monster who could drink you dry if he so wished. For you two, this has become a weird bonding ritual that might not be defined by normal relationship standards. You give him life out of your own will and in turn he does everything to protect yours. Papa is always sure never to get too greedy and makes sure you are well taken care of by his servants after.  You have a huge luxury bed and are always tucked in and given honey and water to keep you healthy. Papa might be a monster in nature, but he will never act like one towards you! 
~if you really have bonded to the point where Papa can’t spend eternity without you, he will be the first to change you. But be warned, you might be his beloved, but he is a harsh master. Papa will train you to be powerful and independent in order for you to survive. It’s not out of cruelty, but he needs you to be able to hold your own. There are a LOT of things that can kill vampires, even the most powerful ones. Papa has taken you on as his eternal mate and will NOt lose you to a hunter or even day light. By the time he’s done with you, you are going to be one force to be reckoned with! 
Papa III:
~ This man is everything romantic you think of a stereotypical vampire- charming, suave, seductive, dark, and mysterious. Papa can be incredibly dangerous but he’s so charming and has a way of putting you at ease. Normally this would be used to get blood or minions, but for you it’s different. He’s not trying to seduce you just to use you for a meal. For him, it’s very nice to just be his wildly charismatic self without the fear of slipping and scaring you off. You already know he’s a vampire, so he knows he doesn’t have to be careful! 
~Sometimes you have to keep yourself from laughing because he unintentionally acts like a Bela Lugosi Dracula with some of his lines. He’s really just trying to keep the charm going but it can get cliche. Papa won’t be sorry for it, some lines are just classic! 
~There is something super sensual and intimate if you let him drink from you. Papa does it so gently and almost tenderly, because he sees you more than just the typical blood bag. You are his beloved and he is honored to be able to taste you. Papa always holds you close in a lover’s embrace before he sips on you deep and slowly- lips pressed against your neck. He is always mindful not to take too much and to savor every drop. Every time he pulls away his eyes are always closed in bliss- like he just sampled the finest of wines.   
~Papa loves to show off his powers to you, specifically his ones of minor flight and shape shifting. When you are as old and strong as he is, you can actually have wings! If you are down for it, he’ll fly with you in his arms! Papa also loves his animal forms, and you can always tell it’s him! Like when a bat seems too cute and friendly, or a black cat follows you too close. He always shifts back with a laugh and purrs in your ear. “How did you know it was me?” There have also been countless times you’ve caught him walking on the ceiling for fun. He always just shrugs and insists its a good party trick! 
~When Papa finds someone worth his time he considers making you another vampire. He will never tell you for years he’s considered. But the thing is, making another vampire isn’t very smart to do every time you fancy someone. Having to be sire to a fledgling is very tedious and takes a lot of patience. But... Papa wonders what it would be like to have you around forever. You don’t know it, but everyday Papa watches to see if you are worthy of the dark kiss of undeath. 
~ Papa, like his brothers and father, also has a luxury castle and rooms that he shares with you. Despite it being less active during the day and HEAVILY curtained from the sun, you live like a monarch! One thing Papa HAS shared with you is his crypt, the one he was resurrected from. Despite popular belief, no he does not sleep in the casket we was originally in. But, this is incredibly important for him to show you. See, he was brought back after a true death and not just changed- and a vampire can been slain with the soil of their resting place. It means a lot for him to trust you with this information. 
Cardinal Copia:
~Copia was very reluctant to have a relationship with you, let alone have you find out he was a vampire! Normally he doesn’t mind taking humans under his control as willing thralls to serve and feed him. But he’s been undead for so long he wasn’t sure to approach catching feelings for someone again. It was very tempting to have you removed from his life altogether. You were human and destined to die a natural, short life. And he wasn’t sure he was ready to sire another undead. But you won out in the end, and he can’t stay away from you. 
~ He’s very VERY protective of you, especially if any other vampires enters his territory. He doesn’t trust his own kind, least of all with you. Copia is very adamant about you staying out of any of his affairs with colleagues for this reason. It’s for your safety and the last thing he needs is having you threatened for leverage or a business partner trying to eat you. Not to mention, humans themselves can’t be trusted! Copia is always paranoid a vampire hunter or the other church will persuade you into thinking he’s nothing but pure evil. 
~Copia cannot resist your blood offerings even if he wanted to! To him, you are the sweetest and most satisfying meal. He often worries one day he’ll lose his control and hurt you, but never has. Copia always asks your permission, never using his charm or powers on you, before gently sinking his fangs in. Copia will have you with him the rest of the night to make sure you are recovering fine and that you rest well. Typically he gets very cuddly after feeding and is satisfied, and wants you in his arms so he can keep an eye on you. 
~Copia is an odd vampire in which he rarely likes to show off his abilities to you. He will gladly flaunt his powers over rivals or other vampires, but he’s so loathe to do so around his beloved. A part of him wants you to love him for who he still as as a ‘person’ rather than the power he has as a creature of the night. If he wanted blind followers or bed buddies he’d just have a harem like SOME PEOPLE *coughcoughpapaIIcough*. There is a time and place for mindless followers, and being in a relationship that makes him feel GOOD and ALIVE is not the time. 
~Copia does stupid things as a vampire that makes you laugh. You’ve seen him hiss and pull his arms back to his body so many times! You know he’s this monster, but he just looks like a giant dork when he recoils like a cartoon character! You’ve all but lost your shit the time he’s held his Dracula cape up as a protecting from harsh sunlight. 
~Speaking of his cape, it’s his favorite piece to wear when he’s done pretending to be a normal human! Copia will usually wear it when he takes you out at night and when a special occasion arises. He’s informed you that it’s a sign of rank and respect amongst the other undead. You doubt it but hey, he looks great in it! 
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