#look part of understanding Vivienne's character is reading between the lines

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Aroace Alastor

Hoo boy here we go- This one might make some people mad at me, so I'll preface by saying I do not want to start a fight and as long as you respect my business, I'll respect yours. But let's get this over with-

First off, I genuinely don't understand how some people can see the Ace-In-The-Hole quote and still believe that Alastor is only intended to be asexual and not also aromantic. Yes, the term Rosie used for purpose of the pun was 'ace', but can we look at the context of that moment before jumping to conclusions?

Rosie, motioning to Charlie: "Oh, who's this you brought with you? Come now, Alastor, she's much too young for you! Oh, I'm just kidding. I know you're an ace in the hole!"

Her original statement implies nothing sexual, only that he's involved in a relationship with Charlie, and she follows it up with why she knows that couldn't be because he's an 'ace in the hole'. I don't think you have to read too far between the lines to see that.

I would also like to say that when Vivienne has spoken about his orientation before, I recall her saying that she didn't want to confirm him being aromantic so that she wouldn't 'ruin anyone's fun', which I just feel like is an odd thing to say if she wasn't already explicitly picturing him as aroace. If she thought he had romantic attraction, why wouldn't she just say that? What fun would that ruin? I also feel like keeping things like this ambiguous just to appease the shippers is a little weird, but I digress-

And to those of you who I know are saying "But aromantic people can be in relationships too!!" *deep inhale* yeah I know. I'm not gonna pretend you're not right about that, but there are also aroace people who have exactly 0 interest in romance or sex at all. This is the part of the post that really is based on how I interpret certain moments, but to me he is absolutely one of those people. I don't really know where people get any vibes of him being interested in that stuff. I have never once looked at him and thought "Yeah I could see him in a romantic relationship with *insert character here*". Even aside from attraction in general, since that's what we'd be talking about at this point anyway, he just seems like the kind of guy who'd rather work and live independently instead of relying on anyone, whether practically or emotionally (which is also probably part of the reason he never joined the Vees, but that's another topic entirely). Hell, I'm pretty sure he's in heavy denial about even developing any kind of care or friendship with the people at the hotel (ie. the episode 8 scene with him and Niffty).

The only ships I see him involved in with people he doesn't hate (so ignoring RadioApple, RadioHusk, and StaticRadio. But to be real, maybe the fact all his main ships are enemies to lovers coded says something about the whole situation, but that's just me-) are Charlastor - which I will not even try to discuss here, people aren't gonna like this post as it is - and RadioRose. Rosie and him would at least be fair, if it weren't for one thing (which is also personal opinion on my end), and I don't know exactly how to word it. I'm tempted to say she has wingwoman vibes? But she knows he's aro, so that's not the right word, but there's vibes of like, she probably did act as a wingwoman before she realized that about him or something.. There's also something about her joking around like "Oh this is the girl? You have a girlfriend and I'm only now meeting her?" is almost giving motherly behavior. Idk man they're just besties to me, I could see them in a QPR though (not that they'd probably label it that way, considering the word queerplatonic is likely just complete gibberish to Alastor lmao).

So to summarize: It feels incredibly likely, if not practically canon, that Alastor was written with aromanticism in mind, even if Vivienne refuses to explicitly state it. Subtext and not-that-subtle implications can say just as much about a character as word of God, especially when that God has explicitly told us why she won't confirm or deny this information. Do I think any of this will stop people from shipping him romantically with literally any other character? No ofc it won't, and that's okay, that's just what fandoms do. I do think there's something to say for the fact the one aroace (or even at the very least asexual) character gets constantly shipped with everyone else in the cast, but this post is long enough I think. The only point of posting this is that I wanted to get information out there in one post to say "Hey, let's look a little bit past the surface for a second before saying there's no proof of him being aromantic"

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you at least took something away from this

[ais-n]

How would have cedrick responded to learning about what vivienne had done to boyd by putting him up for the position at the agency, giving him a promotion, and selling him to cyclone? Would he have been angry, or thought that she was trying to protect him in her own way? How would he have reacted to seeing Boyd after the Aleixo mission, or at the end of fade after his eye was removed, at times where it was really obvious the affect physically and mentally that the lifetsyle had on boyd? Would he chose a side in the Beaulieu's feuds, or would he play both sides to try to make both of his loved ones happy? How would Boyd feel about his reaction? Would Boyd want Cedrick to be mad at Vivienne? What would Boyd want from his father if he came back to life in fade, what kind of relationship would he want?

**ICOS SPOILERS - JUST FYI :)**

I'm putting the whole reply behind a cut because I ended up rambling a bit - also I have a (shittily written and very short) excerpt from Julian Files that feels kind of relevant to this line of questioning, so that's easier to throw behind a cut too.

I'm pretty sure Ced would've been pissed at her for the Cyclone stuff. He would understand her reasons for it, and would know that in her own fucked up way she was kind of trying to help - but he also would have been pissed at her for how much Boyd was hurt in the process. He was very loving/protective of Boyd, and also pretty optimistic/hopeful in general, so he would've thought there surely could have been a safer and less traumatic way to help Boyd in the short run without fucking him up further in the long run.

(As for the rest of the things you mentioned of joining the Agency and the promotion, I don't know for sure but I think he might have understood that stuff more - because there's enough of Viv in Boyd for him to get that sometimes when they shut down emotionally, certain life changes or certain shifts in perspective help them find a reason to open up again, albeit slowly. And even if he wouldn't have wanted Boyd to be in a dangerous situation, he would have wanted Boyd to be as prepared IN that dangerous situation as possible, so at least with a promotion he learned more skills to protect himself and others. Also, Ced wanted to help others, so he would understand at least that part of the job is trying to help in some form, even though it's far from a perfect way of doing so.)

There's actually part of a scene I wrote in Julian Files that I never finished because I don't love how the preceding scenes go, and the scene in question is a direct result of them. But in the general part of that plot, Cedrick was out of town for work and Viv was supposed to be watching Boyd who was like 6 or something at the time. But Viv, being Viv, was being neglectful of him and Ced didn't know. He knew that Viv wasn't the most caring of mothers but they'd had conversations about how to make sure Boyd was safe when Ced wasn't around.

In this particular case, some shit happens with a person who kind of stalked Boyd showing up at the home when Boyd's alone, he and a buddy break in to steal shit, Boyd gets hurt in the process, Viv gets home after the fact, Boyd accidentally breaks pretty much the one thing Viv had from her parents (a horse figurine thing), and she gets pissed and yells at Boyd that she would have preferred to have lost him than to lose this thing. So Boyd runs off to Lou's and stays with him for a bit. At some point days later, Ced is finally able to get home - he tried to come home right away when he learned what happened, but he wasn't able to, so he was freaking out the entire time just beside himself worried about Boyd. He had some basic info and knew Boyd was alive and seemingly okay but was still terrified.

I kind of hate the way this is written, as well as the chapters that precede this, but this might be the only scene I can remember writing so far where it got to explore Cedrick freaking the fuck out worried about Boyd and being upset with Vivienne not protecting him. There were some previous scenes written ages ago but this is the most recent one, and probably would be closest in context to the context you're asking about.

-----------------

UNEDITED SHITTY SCENE EXCERPT:

The door slammed open, making Boyd jump and his heart race. He’d barely turned around when heavy footsteps came at him. His father nearly bowled him over, grabbing him in a tight embrace with shaking hands holding the back of his head and crossing over his shoulders.

“Boyd, Boyd, I heard—They said—Are you okay?”

Boyd could hear and feel his father’s heartbeat crashing around in his chest. He felt instantly safer with the warm and strong hands holding him tightly and, strangely, his father’s rushed and panicked words, barely gaining breath between them.

Heavy kisses rained down all over Boyd’s hair on the top of his head, and his father’s uneven breath gusted out near his temple.

“I couldn’t get back any sooner—I tried, dear God I tried because fuck I was so scared and—shit, no, don’t say those words, they’re bad words, Daddy’s just really worried and—and, Boyd, are you okay? Are you okay? You didn’t tell me yet if you’re—��

Cedrick pushed Boyd out by the shoulders, his eyes intensely focused and scouring every inch he could see of his son. He ran his hands all over Boyd, and when Boyd accidentally winced and shied away from the pain, Cedrick instantly pulled up Boyd’s shirt.

He froze at the sight of the dark bruises and cut on Boyd’s pale skin.

“Viv—Viv—Vivienne!” Cedrick shouted, panicked.

Boyd’s mother came and stood behind his father, her face expressionless and posture straight. But Boyd saw the coldness in her eyes, and tried to pull away from his dad. He couldn’t, though; his dad gripped him carefully but firmly with one hand, the other beginning to shake with the shirt in his hold.

Cedrick twisted around to face Vivienne, his voice rising louder.

“Where the hell were you? You told me you’d be home with him! You told me—”

Vivienne’s stare only became more remote. Cedrick’s hand tightened so hard on Boyd it almost hurt. He let Boyd’s shirt fall back down.

“Don’t even fucking try that look on me. You know I can read you like a fucking book. You promised me, Vivienne, and you… He could have been killed, he could have—What would we have done? What would—what would I have done?”

Vivienne didn’t answer.

“Vivienne! You need to goddamn answer me! Where were you? Why don’t you ever care—”

“She helped!”

Boyd’s outburst made Cedrick snap his attention back to his son. Boyd trembled in his father’s hold, terrified because his parents rarely argued like this and it was his fault, he knew it was his fault because he let them know about Troy. He never should have told anyone. He never should have hurt that horse and he never should have told the police the truth.

It was just like Mr. Cole said. Everything was coming true.

“What?” Boyd’s father sounded a lot less scary when he addressed Boyd. Now he was tense but gentle, just like his hand running along Boyd’s shoulder. “Boyd, it’s okay—”

“She was here,” Boyd insisted. It was a lie but he didn’t care, he made it as convincing as he’d ever done in his life. “She was here but then she had to go get something, and Troy must have been watching and then he came in when she was gone but then she came back and the police got him so it’s okay now. You don’t have to yell. You don’t have to be mad.”

He tried to ignore the way his eyes grew wet with tears, and twisted the hem of his shirt in his hands.

--------

I never finished the scene so that's all I have.

Without writing the actual scenes out you're talking about, I don't know for sure - it always seems like I think characters will do one thing and then they do another unexpectedly. But I'd generally guess it would be something along the above vibe, maybe? Except with Boyd being less timid.

Ced sort of would have been in the middle but he also wouldn't excuse certain things. He would have understood that Viv does some shit because she's fucked up, and he loves her so he understands that her choices are sometimes fucked, but that also doesn't mean he'll excuse it and tell Boyd he has no reason to be upset about things he has every right to be upset about. He probably would have ended up being a little bit of a mediator, but less so in the way of trying to smooth things over and making everyone happy, and probably more so in the way of trying to make sure every side felt heard, but more importantly that they understood if they did shitty actions that they were shitty (in this case, that would be directed toward Vivienne), and that they figure out a way for these things not to happen again, while being realistic about knowing how everyone is.

As for what Boyd would have wanted, he probably wouldn't have wanted Ced to hate Viv - he would have just wanted everything to be figured out in a way where no one had to be hurt, and they could just get along, and he would feel valued. He would have loved to just have any sort of relationship with his dad, but Ced being Ced, the relationship would have been a largely happy/supportive one, with Ced being a doofy loving dad - but also someone who will always stand firm if he thinks Boyd, Vivienne, he himself, anyone, is doing something wrong or etc and needs to be called out on it.

If Ced were there in Fade, I think more than anything, Boyd would have just wanted to be able to go up to him, hug him, and be able to cry in his arms, and feel like it was okay and he wasn't being weak for wanting to break down. He would have just wanted to hear his dad say that Boyd was doing ok, that he was trying hard and that was important, and that he had value as a person and that Ced didn't judge him or hate him or wasn't disappointed in him because of anything Boyd had said or done or etc in his life since Ced left. All of which is what Ced would have wanted to do/say too. Well, and then Ced would have for sure wanted to say how proud he was of Boyd, which I don't know if Boyd would have thought to hope to hear in Fade but idk, maybe he would have hoped for that too.

They probably would've just had fun hanging around at times doing whatever. I could see the two having fun digging into different topics or theories or mysteries or whatnot to figure them out.

Also, Ced would have liked Hsin, and would have accepted him as a son in law, just FYI. He already met Hsin when Hsin was like 14 and tried to help him then, so if it later turned out those two got together, he would've understood. Honestly, Boyd/Hsin have a lot of Ced/Viv vibes in some ways, and Ced would've been able to see that, so he would totally get why Boyd and Hsin love each other so much. Except Boyd/Hsin were more volatile because they eventually actually talked their shit out more than Ced/Viv properly did, or really honestly got a chance to do - so in many ways, Boyd/Hsin's volatility was in part because they were ultimately able to be more brutally honest with themselves and each other.

Hopefully that all makes sense.

[laequiem]

No tricks, only treats [ONESHOT]

/ Cardan and Jude join the rest of the family to enjoy Halloween in the Mortal World.

Part of Tales from the Mortal Realm, a collection of random moments in the lives of the Queen and King of Elfhame.

"Is it strange that I find you attractive dressed as such?"

I was looking at myself in the mirror, assessing my outfit, when Cardan sneaked into the room. His training with The Ghost was paying off, he was as silent as ever.

"Strange? Yes. Surprising? No."

Read it on ao3

"Is it strange that I find you attractive dressed as such?"

I was looking at myself in the mirror, assessing my outfit, when Cardan sneaked into the room. His training with The Ghost was paying off, he was as silent as ever.

"Strange? Yes. Surprising? No."

I saw him prowl towards me through the glass. He slid his arms around my waist, staring at me through my reflection.

Today is October 31st and Oak insisted we join him in celebrating Halloween. Of course, this means we all need costumes. I decided to go as the one character I knew more than anyone else.

Cardan.

I looked through his wardrobe for my outfit. It was quite hard to find a top that was loose enough to account for my breasts, as most of his clothes were tailored to fit him perfectly. I also found a dark blue coat, its collar covered in iridescent feathers. I gave up trying to find pants in his collection, as my hips would never fit, and just wore a pair of black leggings with black combat boots.

"What do you mean, dear Jude?"

"The only thing you love more than booze is yourself."

He raised his brows, making a show of looking offended. 

"Your capacity to lie to yourself will always impress me,” he said then plucked a kiss to my temple, “I love you more than I love wine."

I don’t think I will ever get over him being  caring . It felt as if he was a completely different person from the boy who would disturb lessons just to get attention.

Cardan turned me to face him, then inspected my face. “Something is missing.” He took my hand and directed me to his personal vanity. He opened the drawer and pulled out some cosmetics. He lined my eyes with kohl and coated my lashes with dark mascara. I suppressed my laugh when I saw he was so concentrated that he had stuck out his tongue. Then, he took out some glittery gold powder and applied it on my cheekbones. 

He took a step back to look at his handiwork and smiled.

“And the final touch,” he said as he plucked his crown off his head and put it on my head at an angle, “Voilà!”

I looked at myself in the mirror. I did not bother with any kind of wig. I put my hair up in elaborate braids, letting a few short curls hang in a few places. Yet, even without his signature dark hair, I still looked like him. I made faces at myself in the mirror, trying to get his grin right. 

Finally, I got up. “Your turn now, dearest Cardan.”

When Heather learned that Cardan would be coming too, she started suggesting outfits for him. She even went as far as drawing some of them. Something about his otherworldly looks inspired her. Maybe it's the tail, since a lot of her designs included it: a devil, sexy cat man and my personal favorite, a cute puppy.

In the end, I chose my own, petty idea. I walked in the closet and pulled out the outfit I had the servants clean for the occasion. 

“A King needs his Queen,” I grinned as I revealed the Queen of Mirth dress and crown.

Cardan threw his head back laughing. “You sure know how to hold a grudge.”

Thankfully, my husband was a team player, and he went with it. Even in this, he looked strikingly handsome. Or pretty, I guess. Unfair.

We landed in Maine in the early afternoon. It was strange to be awake so early, but Cardan did not seem bothered at all. We met up with Vivi, Heather, Oak, Taryn and Garrett at the entrance to FallFest, some kind of harvest festival that was held every October in the local park. It had everything from harvest contests to food stands, a section with typical carnival games, a small hay maze and even a haunted house.

I was not surprised to see my eldest sister dressed up, she went crazy for Halloween every year. Vivienne would dress up for a week straight before Halloween, even when she still lived in Elfhame. She was wearing a tight black bodysuit with a tail and claws as well as a black leather mask with cat ears. Heather dressed up as some kind of … plant lady? She had a short bodysuit made of green ivy leaves, green stockings and a long red wig. Oak was with them, wearing a reddish pink shirt with a big yellow star on it. I can only assume they went for pop-culture references I am unfamiliar with.

The real surprise was seeing my twin Taryn and her quiet lover also dressed up.

"What are you dressed as?", Cardan inquired, cocking his head to the side, "You ought to have dressed as Jude, you have already proved to be so good at it."

I snapped my head at him and slammed my foot as hard as I could on his. He was joking, of course. But the peace between me and Taryn was still fairly new. We mostly kept to ourselves and rarely talked. Garrett was back with the Court of Shadow and we were friendly, but he kept his professional and personal lives completely separated.

Cardan was hopping on one foot, scowling at me like he did not understand why I was upset. Taryn understood, though. She was sheepishly looking at the ground.

"I… I'm sorry for tricking you, Cardan."

I tried finding something to say to end the awkwardness. I wanted Cardan to apologize for what he said, but I knew he would not. Fae don't apologize.

Thankfully, Vivi broke the silence. "C'mon guys, we're here to HAVE FUN!" she complained, "What ARE you two dressed as?"

"Phantom of the Opera." Garrett replied.

"Nerds."

"Says the one dressed up as Catwoman." Garrett mocked.

The bickering continued, though less mean-spirited than Cardan’s original comment, as we walked down the main path. Our first stop was the pumpkin carving station. Each couple got their own pumpkin to carve, though Vivi and Heather’s pumpkin was mostly Oak’s handiwork and the couple making sure he did not stab himself. Taryn and Garrett made some intricate flower design on theirs, Garrett being the one doing the carving of course. As for us, well… Cardan had creative ideas, but no skills with a blade, and my skills were more of the  stabbing  variety. We settled on giving our pumpkin a traditional jack-o-lantern face. 

After the effort of carving pumpkins, we were starving. Oak was complaining, dragging his feet on the ground so much that Vivi and Heathers were holding both of his hands to pull him along. Behind them, I saw Taryn with her arm looped around The Ghost's.

I was suddenly very aware that Cardan and I were the only ones not holding hands.

Nobody knows us here. We needn't keep the appearance of the power couple, together to rule and nothing else.

I took my hand out of the pockets of my borrowed coat and tentatively brushed my fingers against Cardan's hand. I saw him whip his head towards me, and I blushed when I witnessed the surprise in his face. Soon enough, he smiled. One of those smiles he kept for me and only me, blissful and happy. The smile he gives me when we have the time to spend hours cuddled together in bed, enjoying each other's presence.

Cardan took my hand and squeezed. I squeezed back.

We spent the rest of the afternoon eating good food, trying to guess the weight of giant pumpkins and visiting a haunted house. Cardan was fascinated by the weird human traditions and absolutely ecstatic about the food. Pumpkin-spiced flavored food will become the new trend in Elfhame, judging by his reaction.

When the sun started to go down, Taryn and Garrett left for Madoc’s, who decided to try giving out candy to the trick-or-treaters. Heather and Vivienne had initially volunteered to take Oak trick-or-treating himself, but when one of their friends invited them to a party, we offered to take him instead. Oak was excited to spend more time with me and “Uncle Cardan”. 

I had not gone trick-or-treating in...10 years? Maybe 12? Since my parents died. Cardan, obviously, had never gone. So, dressed up as each other, with Oak dressed as some cartoon character, we roamed the residential streets of the city to beg for sweets.

“If it is called ‘trick-or-treat’, does that mean I can make bargains if someone refuses to give me candy?” Cardan asked as we watched Oak go up to a house.

I gave him my best ‘I’ll-strangle-you-if-you-do’ stare. “No. No turning people into cats, no curse making them hear imaginary insects buzzing around their ears.”

“Why is it called trick-or-treat, then?”

Vivienne told me they had to explain this to Oak, too, a few weeks ago. Someone at school had mentioned being excited to go trick-or-treating and my brother had been very confused.

“I don’t know.”

Cardan hmmed and smirked, “Perhaps the Folk were involved when the holiday was first established.”

I crossed my arms.

“If that’s the case, not all traditions need to be brought back.”

He laughed at that, then reached around me and pulled me closer to him.

“You win. I won’t trick anyone,” he crooned in my ear, “but I want a kiss for being well behaved.”

I rolled my eyes dramatically. “So needy.”

Once again, I had to remind myself that nobody knows us here. Nobody recognized our costumes today: in the mortal world, dressed as each other, we were only The Guy In An Ugly Dress and Fashionable Emo Boy. Nobody knew we are King and Queen of Elfhame, therefore there are no expectations to be the hedonistic king and his murderous wife.

I slid my hand behind his neck and pulled him down. I felt him smile as I captured his lips with mine.

“Ew, gross!” Oak’s voice came from the other end of the driveway, “Stop that, come here.”

Reluctantly, we pulled away from each other and looked towards the house. Oak was in front of the opened door, talking with a couple. 

“Honey, look,” the tallest woman exclaimed as we walked down the driveway, “She’s dressed as High King Cardan!”

“Oh my god,” the other one replied, sounding so very human, “that sounds kind of profane. Do you think he would have her hung for this?”

As I looked at the two women, I realized that Oak had stumbled upon the house of a Fae couple. They saw through his glamour, and he saw through theirs.

“This is my sister Jude,” Oak started, “and this is my Uncle Cardan.”

Both females had gone completely still and were staring at Cardan with wide eyes. Simultaneously, they bowed deeply. 

“Forgive us, Your Majesty. We weren’t expecting you.”

“We so rarely see our kind around here,” the shorter one said nervously, “we… wanted to meet who little Oak was with.”

“We have tea, if you would like.”

I dared a glance at Cardan and noticed he seemed amused. Was he delighted to make them uncomfortable?

“That won’t be necessary,” he said as he took my hand, “My  wife  has us on a tight schedule, we have other houses to visit. Have a nice evening.”

I caught the emphasis on  wife  and realized they only recognized him as royalty. ‘  Your Majesty ’, singular. I could tell from the two females’ expressions that they also understood their mistake. I felt bad for them knowing they had no ill intent, probably unaware of the situation in Faerie. Yet, I could not help the grin that crept on my face. I worked hard to become High Queen. I fought and killed my way through the ranks, almost dying. Multiple times. I made decisions that will haunt me until the day I die. I am High Queen, and the Folk must know. 

“It was nice meeting you,” I say as I take Oak’s hand, “You are welcome to visit us at the palace if you wish.”

My memories from before Faerieland were to blurry, I did not remember getting so much candy. Did Taryn and I get that much? How could we possibly have eaten all of that? Cardan and I each had a smaller bag, only accompanying Oak to some of the doors, but Oak had multiple full bags. Once he went to sleep, Oriana was more than happy to give us some. She had learned how bad candy was for children’s teeth - even little Fae kids. She filled little bags for us to take back to Elfhame. 

Like anyone eating candy for the first time, Cardan went a little crazy. He wanted to try everything. Faeries might be different in a lot of ways, but I now have proof that chocolate is addictive even to them. 

The High King of Elfhame ate so much candy that he fell asleep on the couch, to the former General’s dismay.

[kylendooleydesigns]

Hazbin Hotel and My Thoughts on Feminism

This review is in no way aimed at any one specific group or ideology. These are mere opinions that people can choose to agree or not agree with. I am no way trying to sway the minds of anyone who chooses to read this review, people have their own opinions and have the right to express them. Thank you.

First, let me begin with my thoughts on the "modern feminist", I'll get to what I mean by that in a moment. For now, let's start with what the definition of feminism is; Merriam-Webster defines feminism as the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes and the organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests.

Now, with that said, I'd for everyone to pay attention to the word "equality". Feminism's roots can be traced all the way back to Plato and his classic Republic, where he advocated that women had the "natural capacities" that were equal to that of men for governing and defending Ancient Greece. (Olson, John, History.com) Ever since Plato's advocation for women's equal standing to men, women have been protesting and fighting for their rights to stand at the same political and economic point as their male counterparts. It wasn't until the late 18th and early 19th centuries when women were finally given their right to vote, New Zealand being the first sovereign state to give these rights to their women. After this revolutionary change, women joined in the war efforts of WWII, the Civil Rights movements, and began the Equal Pay Act of 1963, which still continues to this day.

Now, while I admit that the idea that the Equal Pay Act was created in 1963 and we are still dealing with the unfair distribution of pay between men and women, I'd like to bring up a personal point. My mother, who was born in 1963 mind you, has been working since her teenage years. She joined the military, got married, had a kid, divorced, remarried, and had another kid after her time in the military had come to an end, she fighting in the Gulf War before then. With only a military background and no college degree, my mom continued and still continues to work for the government through checking military helicopters for cracks to keep them from falling apart from atmospheric pressure. She's worked like this for over thirty years, seeing people come and go, men getting laid off or getting paid more than her fellow female co-workers. With that said, my mom actually gets paid more than most the men she works with, not only because she's the only one at her workplace who has the qualifications to do her line of work, but because she rarely ever takes time off. In fact, while she was pregnant with me, my mom refused to take maternity leave and went on working in this hazardous workplace despite the many objections of her male co-workers all the way up to my birth, my dad having to travel back and forth to see both my mom and me while he got our current house ready, meaning he wasn't always there to take care of her.

Years later, a female co-worker of hers got pregnant, took her maternity leave and when she got back, she found out a male co-worker had gotten paid more than her since her time away. She of course went off on her supervisor, but here's the thing: because she had taken her maternity leave and was unable to work, her male co-worker had to basically take on a double-shift and do the work she was in charge of, thus receiving pay for doing so.

Growing up in an environment with a mother who was a strong, independent woman after her divorce with a daughter and having to fight in an actual war that may or may not have lead to her sleep apnea and a dad who supported my mom from a different state while she was pregnant, I never saw there being that big an issue with the equality of men and women.

Now, I will say the unequal pay issue does get under my skin; however, the thing about equal pay and equal rights, is that women have to put in as much work and as much effort in their workplace as their male co-workers. Like I said, my mom worked while she was pregnant, thus getting the pay she deserved for the work she put in and her female co-worker who took  her maternity leave and got mad for the work she didn't do went to her male co-worker. I can only imagine how she'd feel about it if the co-worker was a fellow woman.

This brings up my issue with the modern day feminist. Back in the day during the early growth of feminism, the issue was about equality. Now a days, it seems that "equality" is being replaced by "superiority". Here's an example of what I mean, I have more guy friends than girl friends, and most my guy friends are huge gentlemen, always wanting to support and keep us women's spirits up, meaning they enjoy paying for their food and opening doors for them. One such friend was sweet enough to open a door for a complete stranger who happened to be an older woman. Instead of thanking him for his kindness, with no real care that she was a woman, she went off on him and told him that just because she was a woman didn't mean he had the right to treat her like some delicate flower. He was, rightfully so, very confused and a tad hurt. I, Original Fox, a woman, upon hearing this story, called her a "bitch". Here's the thing ladies, people who are nice and do things out of the kindness of their hearts do it because their cool people, they're not doing it to make fun of our physical differences.

With that said, my conclusion to the feminist movement is that I believe in equality, equality meaning we are all treated, act, and do things as equal beings, not one being above the other. I don't care who you are, what you identify by, what your background is, how you handle a situation as a person, or what issues you're dealing with, if you put in the time, effort, strengths, and fight to do what you think you deserve without blaming a certain group: men, women, religion, politics, whatever, I'm rooting for you. Don't listen to the racists, sexists, and closed minded people who want to bring your personal views down and prove to them without putting yourself at the top of the advocate pillar and saying you deserve better without even proving it.

Now, on with the review of Hazbin Hotel.

For those who don't know, Hazbin Hotel is a pilot two years in the making created by YouTube Animator Vivziepop or Vivienne Medrano, who is best known for her Die Young music video by Kesha using her Zoophobia werewolf character Jay Jay. The story centers around Charlie Magne, the princess of Hell, and her hopes to open a hotel for rehabilitating demons and sinners. This plan contrasts with that of the yearly "cleansing" where non-angelic looking angels come and slaughter the inhabitants of Hell to make room for more sinners. Wanting to find a less violent way of hindering this overpopulation, Charlie, along with her manager/girlfriend, Vaggie, and their first client, porn star, Angel Dust, must prove their cause will work in order to keep the Happy Hotel running.

When I heard of this, I was excited and had high hopes. I had been a fan of Vivziepop's work for a long while, enjoying her animations and loving her now on hiatus, Zoophobia webcomic, and when I heard a project she had a huge passion for was going to air a pilot with the help a whole production team, voice actors, and some genuine talent, I was at the edge of my seat and had anticipated the pilot being aired. Does it live up to all the hype? Let's find out!

Well, off the bat, I wasn't all too crazy about the opening. I had been, admittedly, overly excited for the pilot and was expecting something... Different. The opening is your basic musical opening where the main character sings while images of what the world is like moves about around them, which wouldn't be so bad, if the musical number was original. The opening song "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows" was written by Joseph McCarthy and was first performed by Dolly Sisters in the musical Oh, Look! When I found this out, I was a little disappointed. I was probably expecting way too much from this pilot, but at the very least, I was expecting a more original musical number written by the team Vivziepop worked with in bringing this pilot to life. But that's probably just a nit-pick on my part, like I said, I was expecting a little too much from these people.

After the opening, we're immediately introduced to everyone's favorite, slutty spider, Angel Dust and his sassy attitude toward people who want to slut shame him. What follows is what I can only describe as being a story on crack. Everything is shown to us super fast with little time to breathe and explore the setting we are in, which I can understand with Sir Pentious and maybe Cherri Bomb, but with just getting out of the musical number of Charlie singing about how her world isn't the way she wants it to be and being introduced to Angel through a "don't slut shame, because it's their body and no one else's", it just seems like everything happens way to fast and everything is thrown at us without really letting us appreciate what we're looking at, the news scene being no better as they zip through the report of the fight going on and the introduction of Charlie and her "passion project". Again, that may be a little nit-picky as I did have higher expectations.

It's here that I also would have liked to know what the two little demons that help Charlie with her second musical number were and what role they play in her life. I mean, they must be either her mom or dad's henchmen or "help" wherever Charlie's used to live, but I would have preferred they played a bigger role than just singing and playing their instruments.

The third issue I have at this point is the use of sound effects. Again, a little nit-picky, BUT, I feel the use of sound effects with every movement and moment a character is on screen is a little too much. It doesn't help that the soundtrack never shuts up. Music or a sound is always playing, never allowing for us to take in what the character is saying on a more complex or understanding level. The only parts that are quiet are the limo scene and the Charlie calling her mom scene, which are honestly two of my three favorite parts because we get to see and meet these characters, understanding them and their personalities, as well the relationships they have with each other. Except maybe Charlie and Vaggie's, but I'll get to that later.

I enjoy the relationship Charlie does have with Katie Killjoy (in fact I enjoy Katie's relationship with Tom as well), the only critique I have here is Katie's "I don't touch the gays. I have standards." This just seems to be an add-on to make us despise Katie as a character, because of her views on the gay community, basically saying homophobia is a bad trait of a person and makes a character more of a villain, which I've known homophobes. They're not evil, they've just been raised in an environment where being gay isn't the norm and, in a strict background, "the gays" is a mental illness that can be easily taken care of through the proper therapy. As for Katie's "standards", again, this doesn't mean she's a terrible character. In fact, look at it like this, it's an adult cartoon and the jokes are meant to make you laugh, not judge a certain group in a cold and harsh way.

However, Charlie's relationship with the people of Hell as their princess and heir to the throne, I find a little off pudding. I'm sure there's some kind of hidden meaning to how the royal family is treated as celebrities over that of rulers of a certain area, but for now, I'm just gonna nit-pick a little more. My opinion on princesses in the media is at a bit of an all time low. Ever since the birth of the Disney Princess Trope, the views of a princess in any form in the media has been to hate being a princess, sing about how much it sucks to be a princess, remain princess when it's obvious they're no longer a princess and should take the title of Queen. Charlie is sadly part of this trope, the only good part of this being that no one but her girlfriend takes pity on her. What I mean by this is that Charlie shows signs that her father has high expectations of her becoming the heir to Hell and taking rule in his place as the future queen, making her status something to sing about how much that sucks, of course her dreams contrast with that of her father's expectations, like most Disney Princesses. That being said, I'm not exactly sure I see the purpose of her being the princess of Hell when no one treats her as one nor do they seem to care that Lucifer is her father, other than to make her relationship with her father strained, which isn't bad don't get me wrong, but there are other ways to work that subplot in without adding the title of princess to her name.

After the whole fight scene, we get the scene where Vaggie goes off on Angel for making the hotel look like a joke. This coincides with my issue with the whole feminist aspect and her and Charlie's relationship, so I'll get to that later. But I like this part because of the quiet moment we get, so there we go for whatever that was.

When the trio gets home, I do like how we see a subtle hint to the fact that Angel does want to reform and go to Heaven and escape his abusive sugar daddy by how he makes a crack at the lack of food to feed all of the non-existent souls and immediately feels bad. Of course, you can't force change on someone in the blink of an eye, so I give him a pat on the shoulder for not knowing how to apologize for his assholiness.

This then leads us to the calling mom scene where we see Charlie struggling to prove her father wrong and asking her mom for advice for feeling this way. From what I can assume either her folks are divorced, her father is dead and Lilith is in charge of Hell, or Lucifer left that part of his family to marry Narissa from Zoophobia and had Damian. I mean in the opening we see a shadow of Lucifer taking the shape of Zoophobia's version of the Devil, so that's my fan theory and I'm sticking to it! And before people say that's impossible, if that's the case, then Charlies is no longer the heir to the throne, but here's my response to that: Charlie was born first and is the daughter of Lilith, who I'm not gonna get into, because this isn't part of the review, therefore making her take the throne before Damian by political standards. Anyway, this scene was fine, I wish there was more info on exactly what her relationship is with both her parents, seeing as they never make a real appearance in the pilot to show their personalities, but I'd also like it if there was a main character whose relationship with their parents isn't severed because of the character's dreams, a strict family, or dead.

And then HE comes into the picture. THE one character I lost my mind over. Alastor, the Radio Demon!!! I LOVE this character! While I'm sure most fans find Angel to be their favorite character and don't get me wrong Angel is awesome, Alastor is what has me hooked to the show. To compare him to Charlie, Vaggie, or Angel, Alastor, in my opinion, is an optimistic pessimist, something I find myself as being on a daily basis as I too find good entertainment in the destruction of others as they fall into the fiery pits of failure. Not only that, but each moment he's on screen there's this mysterious vibe about him with his permanent smile and his end goal in helping Charlie, something I find rather attractive of my demon... I mean... Men. His interactions with the other characters is fun, he's got a classy excitement to him, wanting to provide and receive entertainment in the most morbid and old times of places. His version of "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow" is a hilarious change to Charlie's cheery, uplifting view of her people, his version being a look at the souls in Hell as lost causes, their punishments being eternal, there being no escape except for the life they've lived before and the agony they have to face now is bliss. His take down of Sir Pentious was like a huge "bitch please" which was absolutely wonderful, from his power to his facial expression in the end.

With that said, is this pilot flawless...? No, absolutely not, far from it. There's some things, like the soundtrack, the opening song, and the sound effects I'd think about doubling down on and allow us to take in the world we're being introduced in to. If someone came into this show completely blind, they'd probably be a tad confused as to what's happening and why. Fans already know Charlie is an overly optimistic demon spawn, Vaggie is a pessimistic feminist with no care for men, Angel Dust is a cross-dressing spider who enjoys being the "bad boy", and Alastor is a deer with a need for endless entertainment. People who don't know VivziePop and her work, won't know/care much about these characters going straight in and will most likely like to explore the world and its why.

And now, the coup-de-gras: my one issue with this pilot and what it seems to be shoving down pessimistic people like me's throat. Women rule and straight men suck. Do NOT quote me on this. I do not know Vivienne or the people she worked with to make this pilot. This is MY opinion after having watching the pilot, listening, reading, and following the creation of this show from the beginning. They can correct me on this in future episodes or deeper dives in to characters and development.

So, off the bat, we're introduced to a male gay character who dresses like a woman and is slut shamed by everyone except his friends who have similar views as he does. In my opinion, this doesn't work for me. I get wanting to "represent the minority"; however, the depiction of straight, heterosexual characters slut shaming or having sexual encounter/feelings toward said character with cruel intentions to bring someone down isn't something I see as a good representation. Granted, there are several people out there who will make a person feel like shit for having views that do not conform to what society deems as normal, but in today's world, where media and the children of today are exposed to these views, the "minority" becomes the majority. I get it, life sucks, oh darn, well then fight for equality, don't fight to make straight cisgender community seen as the closed minded community that doesn't give a damn. There are plenty of cisgender heterosexuals who support the LGBTQ+ community and have no problem with anyone who doesn't fit the old views of the world. It just seems, from what I've experienced, that if you're a straight, cisgender human being that has no real tie to the Pride Movement, you're a homophobic monster who takes the side of all the haters. That's not true, we just aren't playing for the same teams nor do we believe we were born in the wrong body.

Next is Charlie and Vaggie's relationship. Don't get me wrong, having a gay lead is no skin off my nose, if anything, I don't give a damn what their attracted to. If their a good character and have good development and don't let their sexual identity get in the way of their goals, I'm good. But when it comes to Vaggie and Charlie, there's just something I personally find "off". For one, VivziePop actually brought this up in a Tumblr post in response to another about how they didn't like the idea of Charlie and Vaggie being a canon couple because it'd just be another way of representing the gay community through the media's abuse of showing how open minded they are, to this VivziePop revealed that Vaggie and Charlie are indeed a couple, but she'd rather not focus on their relationship and instead focus on the story. But upon the pilot's release, their relationship is already put a slight focus on from Katie's "I don't touch the gays" afterwards touching Charlie who Vivzie revealed may be a Bisexual characters having dating a male character in the past and to the overly cutesy peppy girl and her overly protective, pessimistic girlfriend. I honestly don't care about whatever relationship these two have, so long as it doesn't effect the plot in a negative way, one example being that they fight, break up, and get back together through some TV show bullshit that has little to do with the rest of the show's running. This show is about getting demons into Heaven, it's not an after school soap opera.

This brings me to Vaggie's character as a whole and to her views affecting that of the central tone of the show itself. Vaggie is clearly a feminist, this being brought up when Angel reminds her that she doesn't seem to trust any man, any men... Men. She punches a guy who calls her girl a bitch, gets angry at Angel only when Charlie screwed up too by both singing and getting in a fight with Katie when Vaggie specifically told her not to sing as what they were doing was serious, refuses to trust Alastor without allowing him a second chance, something she is helping Charlie to achieve and support despite Charlie herself being open to helping Alastor understand where she's coming from, and calls the hotel a "man cave" just because Husk gets a bar in order to keep him working at the hotel. I get it, alcohol is somehow a sin to the hotel, most likely because it can lead to drunkenness or sloth and gluttony, but that doesn't make it a brothel or a man cave. In fact, she doesn't seem to argue having Nifty, a female character as part of the staff as she just zips around cleaning, but here's the thing about Nifty: it's clear she's straight and how they portray how straight she is contrasts with the other female main characters. Nifty is boy crazy and a clean freak, being confused as to why the hotel is such a dump when everyone living there is ladies, not knowing Angel on a personal level yet and wonders where all the men are. This to me, is a stereotypical straight cisgender female: wanting to clean, make new friends, and meet some men. Being a cisgender, straight, female myself, I can tell you, that's not who I and I hope some other girls are. I've never been much of a clean freak or boy crazy, in fact I'm a bit of a slob and don't really give two shits about men; I've honestly got more important things to concern myself with than over getting a boyfriend. Nifty is a fun character and I enjoy her place in the show, but I would have liked it if Vaggie immediately wanted her out of the hotel as she did with Husk and Alastor, showing some God damned equality as a feminist and if Nifty was a little less concerned about gender roles and having men around. Depicting feminism is fine in media, but don't go overboard with it. Make some straight, cisgender males actually great people who support the ideals of women and don't want to see them fail, show the equality we as women fought so hard to achieve, by making the roles of men and women equal, not one gender being better than the other morally. Alastor is a great character, but he did slap Vaggie's ass, which was unneeded, but I'll admit I found that hilarious. I can only hope Alastor is only fucking with Vaggie and her views on men and turns to a pretty awesome guy who, while not believing in her cause, supports Charlie anyway he can.

All in all, I loved this pilot and see great things coming its way, I just think things could be tweaked and lessened down to be less of a huge middle finger to certain groups of people and less of an Ed, Edd, and Eddy soundtrack of unnecessary sound effects. I'd recommend this pilot to anyone with a passion for animation and wanting to put something you've worked years for to give them that jolt of ambition. If you're bothered by too many loud moments, less quiet moments, too many jabs at the heterosexual cisgender community, and lots and lots of sex jokes, this probably isn't for you. Check it out on YouTube and give it a try.

P.S. to those of the religious community, me being part of it, if the version of this Hell is off pudding and isn't how it should be depicted in comparison to that of the biblical version and it offends you, I suggest either ignoring the pilot completely and its growth, or you can see the horrifying reality behind it... It's... An... Adult... Cartoon!!! *collective gasps* for more information please check Family Guy, South Park, and, I know I'm dating myself here, but literally every episode of the Simpsons ever.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with this rant/review. These are just my personal views and should be taken with a grain of salt.

Eat chocolate.

Imma take a nap!

[kyliegalloway]

best. final exam. ever. (a blog detailing the scavenger hunt final exam for Paris 2019)

Today we did our final exam for this May Term, and I have to say: BEST. EXAM. EVER. Exploring new places in Paris? Yes please! We were given some expectations and then a list of sites to visit with a partner, and then left to figure out which route we would like to go! I’m glad I like directions and navigating because today was a whole lot of that.

(Note: I posted the pictures with the locations tagged on my Instagram, @kyliegtravels, if you would like to see exact locations. They are all under my “final exam” highlight.)

Picture from Paris Stories at Hope College Facebook

The following is the expectations/rules we were given this morning (bright and early at 8am) for the day.

Objective:

Demonstrate proficiency in Pairs by:

1.     Ability to successfully navigate mass transit. You must use the metro and/or the buses to get around. NO UBER.NO TAXI.

2.     Referencing only your Paris Pratique and Michelin Guide for directions—not cell phones. Should it be revealed that you used your cell phone for navigational purposes, you and your partner will receive an automatic failing grade on the exam.

3.     Find historically/culturally significant locations per the list provided, and experience them.

4.     Do so in an efficient way (within the 6 hour limit).

5.     We encourage you to take a break for lunch, snacks, etc.

Mechanics:

·     8 am start time from the Citadines Place d’Italie

·     You may NOT use computers and phones to plan the best route. Your sites are not listed in any geographical “order.”

·     2pm arrival (not earlier) at the professors’ apartment: rue Watteau

o  Please bring your laptops and your Michelin Green Guide to rue Watteau. (Pick these at the Citadines before arriving at rue Watteau)

·     YOU MUST VISIT EACH SITE WITH YOUR PARTNER

·     Each group must take a photo at each site, and slow down a bit, and think about the space.

·     Back at the professors’ apartment (or if you finish early, please feel free to begin working), make Tumblr posts documenting your groups journey—including each site visited.

o  Divide the blog posts between partners/group members.

o  If you reference a source, please be sure to include the citation. Your Michelin Guide is a great reference.

After reviewing these expectations, we were given our partners and the list of our sites.

Group 1: Rousseau (Emily and Kylie)

1.     In front of a street sign on rue Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1er)

2.     On the steps of the La Madeleine (8e), Place de la Madeleine

3.     In the Place des Vosges (3e)

4.     In the center of the Arenes de Lutece (5e), 49 rue Monge

5.     The exterior façade of St-Etienne-du-Mont church (5e), Place Sainte-Genevieve

6.     Galerie Vivienne (covered passage, 2e), 4 rue des Petits-Champs

7.     Inside the Gare Saint-Lazare SNCF (big trains) train station, the one painted often by Monet (8e), 13 rue d’Amsterdam

8.     Place Edith Piaf (20e)

9.     Temple of Sibyl, Parc des Buttes Chaumont (19e)

Emily and I went to work to figure out what the best way to find each of these places would be. We used our Michelin Green Guides and our Paris Pratique to craft our path. The following is the path we followed to complete our final exam. We started out by taking line 7 (La Courneve) to Place Monge to our first site.

Arenes de Lutece:

We decided to go here first because it was the closest to our hotel, and we had seen signs for it in the line 7 Metro. It was pretty easy to find when we came up out of the metro because there were signs for it, so I expected more people to be there. We were the only people there. I’m not sure if that’s because we were there at 8:15am. The Arenes De Lutece and is located in the Latin Quarter. It is an amphitheater and could originally hold 15,000 people. It is one of the only surviving evidence of the Roman period in Paris. It was interesting to see that apartment buildings have been built over part of the amphitheater. We enjoyed appreciating the calm arena before we set off on the rest of our day. We decided earlier to walk to the next site because it was in the same arrondisement and it didn’t make sense to take a Metro.

Source: https://www.parisinfo.com/musee-monument-paris/71451/Arenes-de-Lutece-et-square-Capitan

St-Etienne-du-Mont Church and Place Sainte Genevieve:

We walked down some winding streets, which is the character of the Latin Quarter to find St-Etienne-du-Mont Church. I’m not going to lie, this was pretty easy to find because it is so distinguishable. It was cool to see the Pantheon next to it too. In fact, in 1744 King Louis XV replaced the Saint Genevieve Abbey with the Pantheon. The abbey was looted and burned in the Revolution. It was attached to what is now called St-Etienne-du-Mont Church. This is why the place near the church is called the Place Sainte Genevieve. I had never heard of this church before and] the façade of it is quite grandiose, Renaissance style. It was restored after the revolution and actually slants left due to the shape of the ground. According to the churches website, it is a product of a transition period between gothic and Renaissance styles. I think this is for sure true because of what we have learned about the two styles in class. Another interesting thing about this area is that the original wall fortification is still present in some areas and we just happened to walk by, how cool! We then continued our walk to the Cardinal Lemoine station and took line 10 (Gare d’Austerlitz) to Gare d’Austerlitz and transferred to line 5 (Bobigny), exiting at Bastille.

Source: https://www.saintetiennedumont.fr/en

Place de Vosges:

Check out Emily’s blog for this entry at. https://thepariscollective.tumblr.com/tagged/scavengerhunt!

After exploring Place de Vosges, we walked to the Chemin Vert Station and took line 8 (Balard) to Republique and transferred to line 3 (Galleieni) and got off at Porte de Bagnolet.

Place Edith Piaf:

I was surprised because we popped out of the underground Metro station into a market and the statue of Edith Piaf was on our right. Emily has the entry for this site too! We enjoyed a walk through the market before embarking to our next site, which was the one we knew the least about. We went to the Gambetta station and took line 3 (Levallois) to Pere Lachaise, then transferred to line 2 (Porte Dauphine) and got off at Belleville.

Temple of Sibyl, Parc des Buttes Chaumont:

We found the Parc des Buttes Chaumont easily In our Paris Pratique, but the Temple of Sibyl wasn’t labeled so we ended up looking it up in our Michelin guide while on the Metro and finding a map of the entire Parc. It was quite a hike to find this site (which makes sense because the 19this near Montmatre) and it was definitely not a tourist area so it wasn’t labeled from the streets. I think this may have been my favorite site we visited. In 1860, Napoleon III integrated the areas surrounding the park into the city, creating a need to make these areas “Parisian.” Haussmann played a role in the installation of this park, a large English-style park, along with the Bois de Boulogne and the Bois de Vincenne. Adolphe Alphand created this park by buying 25 hectagres of the Buttes Chaumont. Originally this had been quarries, but they were abandoned in the mid 1800s. It was a three year process to form the park from construction of artificial cliffs (the one in the lake where the temple is located is the most prominent) to digging trails both steep and flat to planting new species. The lake was created by using a local water tank. The park was inaugurated with the Universal Exhibition of 1867, when Napoleon III wanted to show off his newly Haussmannized capital. I would love to go back and explore this park when I have more time because it looked like there was lots of trails and different paths to explore. Emily has a little more about the Temple of Sibyl on her blog if you would like to read more about that. We hopped on the 7b (Pre-St.-Gervais) and got off at Place des Fetes, then got on line 11 (Chatlet) to Arts et Metiers, and then line 3 (Levallois) to Bourse.

Source: https://www.histoires-de-paris.fr/parc-buttes-chaumont/

Galerie Vivienne:

I knew from our assignment sheet that this was a covered passage, but as we stepped into it, it was much more extravagant than I expected. It felt like I was in a department store because the ornamentation of the ceiling or the glass roof and the detailed floor felt too special to just be a street passage. It was built in 1823 and now houses a cute bookstore, boutiques of various kinds, food shops, and probably more that we didn’t see because the spectacle of the passage itself was so beautiful. We walked through it and on to Rue Etienne Marcel to find our next site.

Source: https://en.parisinfo.com/paris-museum-monument/100272/Galerie-Vivienne

Rue Jean-Jacques-Rousseau:

This is the street our group was named after! Check our Emily’s blog to understand it’s importance. We walked from here to the nearby Etienne Marcel Metro stop. We got on line 4 (Cligancourt) to Strasbourg-St. Denis and transferred to line 8 (Balard) for the Madeleine stop.

On the steps of the La Madeleine, Place de la Madeleine:

You would think finding the front of the church would be easy, but it turns out we got turned around. We got out of the Metro and went towards the back of the church, and got super confused because it was locked. Not to mention, it was under construction, so that might also have added to the confusion of where the front was and it also doesn’t look like other churches in Paris, so we were a little shocked by that. Don’t worry though, we wandered around the place and found the front steps of the church. After looking into this place later, it is now well known for the little cookie/cakes that Marcel Proust made famous, but there is a deep history of the church. The church is situated between Place de la Concorde and the Palais Garnier. It is different than a religious building because Napoleon wanted it to be a pantheon to honor his armies. The iconic Corinthian colomns were under construction, but we still got to see some of them. We also saw many signs for concerts, which the church hosts regularly. From here we walked to our last location. We followed Rue Torchet towards Printemps and then Rue de Havre straight to the station.

Sources: https://en.parisinfo.com/transport/73127/Place-de-la-Madeleine,https://en.parisinfo.com/paris-museum-monument/71158/Eglise-de-la-Madeleine

Gare St. Lazare:

Emily wrote about this site too, but I want to mention how modernized this building was. I expected it to be more like what Monet painted, yet instead, it felt more like a mall. We had a hard time getting a picture inside of ourselves without it looking like a mall, so we took a few pictures inside and headed outside to get our selfie with the iconic sign.

Whew! That was a lot! We started at 8am and got done early (noon) before we had to be at our professors’ apartment at 2pm. Since we had time, we decided to pull up Dr. Janes’ food recommendations list and found Cosi, a sandwich shop in the 6th. It was fun to celebrate completing our exam with some delicious sandwiches. Then, we went to our professors’ apartment for a delicious spread and to work on our blog posts. I want to go back to so many of these places because we were on such a timed schedule today! I look forward to revisiting these places someday and knowing the history of them because I took an exam by finding them. This class was such a cool experience I never imagined myself doing after finishing my first year of college, but I’m so glad I did. My professors are absolutely amazing and I’m so grateful for them. They’ve given us such great guidance and tours at places around the city, but also the independence to wander and explore. I will never forget this trip and it was such a fun way to wrap it up with a whirlwind scavenger hunt of such a beautiful city.

[pharlooom]

my opinions on cullen rutherford

over the past few days, I’ve gotten a some anonymous asks requesting me to explain what I think of cullen rutherford, because if you’ve noticed, I’ve been posting a lot of cullen content right now. I feel this is a great time to share my feelings about him and the Discourse around him, also what I think about various opinions this toxic, toxic fanbase has about him.

feel free to add, praise, disagree, or completely obliterate me for this in reblogs or replies. these are my opinions, some gotten from others, some crafted from my own readings and personal views. hate cullen or like him, say what you will, but if you respect my opinions, I will respect yours.

short version: I like cullen. I like his character. I genuinely appreciate his character growth and development and his change. 

long version: from what I know and what I’ve read, this fandom likes to tear him to bits for a bunch of reasons, some of which are so vast and really heavy, I don’t know if I can go into them with enough knowledge of the lore. so it’s neat, I’ll state my opinion and then discuss it.

his abuse at the circle in dao explains his trauma, it doesn’t excuse his absolute shit treatment of mages

yep, I know the whole cullen “mages aren’t people” rutherford is only one of like 273 hearts of the #cullen critical community, but it’s the one people tend to address the most.

but his torture at ferelden’s circle doesn’t excuse his actions, it explains why he hates mages. I don’t know where cullen haters get the idea that the stans only use this as an excuse so their White Chantry Boy can be free to shit on mages wherever he pleases. no. he doesn’t have an excuse. he doesn’t have a get out of jail free card. in da2, his position of knight-captain and shitty treatment of mages is explained by the fact that he suffered a bad experience from them. you can’t just dismiss this. it’s an important part of his character as a whole and seeing haters say that “people use it as justification” is wrong.

and to stans who say that he’s free to hate mages because of this, stop that (though I haven’t seen this yet, I’m sure it’s happening somewhere).

he hates mages because he was traumatized by what happened in ferelden’s circle. that’s an explanation, not a justification. see? that isn’t the same as “it’s okay for him to hate mages because he was traumatized by what happened in ferelden’s circle.”

he was a shit person in da2

there is literally no saving him from this. I won’t come to his rescue or shield him from the criticism, he was terrible.

but, while I’m still on the subject, refer to the first opinion. I feel some people forget his abuse that happened in the prior game. so if you must hate him, hate him with his abuse in mind. hate him for the right reasons. hate that he was in a position to do something but didn’t, that “mages aren’t people” line. understand where he comes from, what he’s been through, then feel free to criticize him in the #cullen critical tag like a person with a clear and open mind.

he joined the templars because he wanted to help people

sometimes we forget that cullen joined the templars because he thought that at the age of thirteen, the templars were helping. this doesn’t excuse his actions later, but the very reason he joined the templars in the first place was because he wanted to help. he didn’t go into the order thinking “all mages r eveil.” when asked why he joined the order, he literally said: “I can think of no better calling than to protect those in need.”

and yes, I know that mages are coded (?) as oppressed people irl. but you have to understand that though they suffer the same oppression, mages and oppressed people irl are vastly different. irl, there’s less of a reason to stand with the oppressors because we’re all human beings with the same capabilities. in thedas, there really is a reason to be afraid of mages when they can literally raise the dead or summon fire at their fingertips. even if they can gain control of these abilities, they are dangerous. there’s a reason why circles had to be built. some circles are chill, and others are horribly abusive. still, you have to understand the validated fear behind thedas looking down on mages.

I don’t understand how him not acting on his affections on the warden or whatever is creepy???

I honest to goodness don’t get this. if you flirt with him too much, he even runs in the opposite direction. people have infatuations that can last for many years, sure, but it happens. people like people for a long time. and it’s not like hof is on his mind 24/7. all I can think of is when you ask him about how he knew her in dai, and that table banter with leliana where he asks about her, but that’s it??? that’s all I can think of??

I’m satisfied with his character development in dai

no, I don’t want him to apologize more than he already is. no, I don’t want the option to oust him from the inquisition. no, I don’t want the inquisitor to be given the option to shit on him, romance or not. no, I don’t want to give him all the ugly missions at the table because he’s an ugly adviser. no, I don’t want hawke or varric to call him out.  

he’s growing, he’s changing. he realizes he’s a shit person, remembers all of the horrible things he’s done, and wants to better himself. I don’t give a shit about “how fast and ooc” it is for a character to change, I am all for positive character development. (I know this argument can and will be used against me. I have longer opinions about this positive character development deal, but for now, know I’m all for it.)

go back to dai and talk to him. just really listen to him. he isn’t even justifying his actions. he constantly says that all the shit he did is bad, scolding himself when he felt like he could have done better. and even when he’s explaining the events, like what happened at ferelden’s circle, he uses it to explain why he was an awful person in kirkwall.

I also see the argument that he distrusts the mages in inquisition, but I don’t see that. and even if he “does,” it’s out of concern for both mages and non-mages. not to mention that he’s left the templars, which has basically been his life for more than a decade, so it isn’t easy for him to just let go of it and instantly say “I trust mages with my life” because you really see the worst of what magic can do in the circles, and he’s been living in them for most of his life. I mean, just look at how hard it was for him to conquer his addiction, the very thing that chained him to the templars and the chantry. he isn’t hostile to any of the mages there, you don’t even see him scolding them or berating them (this only happens once, when he breaks apart an argument between a mage and templar at haven, and even then he also takes the time to scold the templar as well and say that this isn’t the place to do that). he doesn’t seem to mind the presence of vivienne or solas. hell, he plays chess with dorian. still sound like cullen “mages aren’t people” rutherford to you?

there’s a number of times he also says that he left the order because innocent people were getting caught in the crossfires between mages and templars. it was the exact opposite thing he wanted to prevent going into the order. he wanted people to be safe, and because of the templars, people ended up dying. it isn’t hard to understand why he left.

and he left. that’s a thing, by the way. he could have stayed and just accepted the fact that he wanted this life as a child, but he left the templars knowing full well that at that point, it had been his whole life. also, he left with the knowledge that leaving the order can be straight-up insanity or death due to lyrium withdrawal. he even talks about how dangerous it is for a templar to leave and how he wants a safer way to leave the order. I really feel that was the highest point of his character: he knew leaving the order (which was a huge part of his life) was difficult, could risk death, and had to suffer major effects from withdrawal. despite that, he still did it. at the ending of trespasser, he even helps other templars conquer their addiction. you may not like his character, but you can’t deny that’s still considerably noble.

and this is where it gets personal: I’ve done shitty things in my life. I’ve said some terrible stuff to people that I can’t take back, no matter how hard I want to. mentally, I’ve shunned and hated a whole community because they were attacking me in ways that destroyed me and my mental health, and I’ve held onto that grudge for so long. I wanted to change, I wanted to be a better person, not one consumed by hatred.

when I first played dai and talked to cullen about his opinions on mages and how he wanted to break free from the order, I bawled like a baby. I cried the whole way through the lyrium addiction mission. I saw myself in his character: somebody who did a fuckton of awful things in his past and wanted to get out of it. he inspired me to be braver, to be a better version of myself, that getting out of a cycle of hating yourself and other people is possible. you can change and it’s worth it.

and that’s why whenever I read cullen hate bashing his character development and how he should “apologize more” and how he’ll never be enough or never be forgiven, no matter how hard he tries to atone for it, it always gets to me. every time people hate his character, I feel like they’ll hate people like me, people who are bad and will always be bad and can’t improve ever because they were awful before, they’ll be awful forever.

TL;DR: cullen is an amazing character. his growth and backstory speaks volumes to me. I respect and look up to him in ways that this entire thing can’t do justice. while he’s done some terrible things in the past, he isn’t good, but he isn’t bad either. I admire him for what he is now, and how he’ll continue to grow in the lore to come.

again, this is only my opinion. you are free to disagree and agree at your own leisure. hate him, don’t hate him, whatever, I respect your opinion. you’re coming from a different point of view and I absolutely love that. all I ask is that you respect my opinion in return.

[lexinthelibraryofdreams]

One love story to go, please

Imagine: “Cullen owns and manages a bookstore in Haven. It’s pretty quiet but he has some interesting customers. The dwarf who comes in to promote his own books, the stoic army officer who loves reading those same books, a man with a fantastic moustache who always asks for the strangest books and complains about Cullen's state of dress, a girl who brings him cookies and her homemade honey, and a variety of others. But Cullen is lonely - could one of his usuals open the book on his heart?”

Words: 3191

A/N: So, I’m not dead.

I wrote this for the DA prompt exchange summer FILL-A-THON by @dapromptexchange

Got longer than expected but hey, nothing new there. Don’t know if I put in some more game-based fics from time to time, we’ll see.

Also, I do have some WIPs laying around, just lack the motivation to finish them. If you’d like to request a character or ship, don’t be afraid to message me (as my ask box doesn’t seem to be working and I have zero clue how to fix it)

Also, would you like me to put together a masterlist or something?

Warnings: implied sexual content (nothing heavy or graphic, just want to be sure)

The store was quiet. The few customers that were there were in their own world, so Cullen turned to the book he had always ready behind the counter. He sat down and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Somewhere in the back of the store, Varric was writing on his trusty typewriter Bianca, that he always brought into the store when he was there to write. Cullen didn’t mind, the dwarf usually was a pleasant customer and either came here to write or to promote his own books. 

He reached over, taking one of the cookies from a tray that Sera had left. The elven girl was a rather eccentric personality but she was always kind to him, often bringing cookies and her homemade honey. Some of his other regulars were also here at the moment.

There was Dorian, the charming Tevinter with the interesting moustache who had a fable for historic books and fashion. He never failed to miss an opportunity to criticize Cullen’s clothing.

Cassandra Pentaghast, a police Sergeant who secretly loved Varric’s books though she’d never admit it. Cullen had to admit, that he never had thought that the woman with an impressive abundance of middle names could blush like a school girl.

At last there were Leliana and Josephine, who always came in together. He was still trying to figure out if the two women were simply friends or something more.

An hour before closing time, when everyone except Varric was gone, the doorbell chimed and he automatically said, “Welcome. How can I help you?” before his breath caught in is throat. He hadn’t seen the woman anywhere in Haven before, he would have noticed her. Her bright red hair was pulled up in a loose bun, stray strands framing her face. She had more freckles than he could count and a tiny part immediately wondered if they extended further down than what he was able to see. She looked at him, green eyes reflecting the light from his desk lamp and smile at him warmly. “Yes, actually, I wanted to ask if you had any music sheets. I know, this probably isn’t the most wanted item around here, but I have asked around town and I can’t find anything anywhere,” she explained and he swallowed, forcing himself out of his stupor with shaking his head.

“Unfortunately, I don’t sell those, I’m sorry.” He watched her smile fall and she sighed, brushing a few strands behind her hair. “Alright. Still, thank you for your help,” she responded and turned towards the door. In a split second, he made a decision and spoke up before his brain caught on. “Wait. Maybe I can still help. What do you need exactly?”  She looked back at him with a questioning look and then shrugged slightly. “Piano sheets, whatever I can get my hands on, actually. I had piano lessons years ago but I didn’t keep any of the sheets from back then and now that I want to start playing again, I can’t find anything around here.” He nodded slightly. “I just remembered that I might have some old sheets at home. If it isn’t urgent, you can come back tomorrow and I can get them for you,” he offered and her expression lit up immediately.

“Really?” she asked and he nodded. “That would be amazing. Thank you! I’m Victoria, by the way. Victoria Trevelyan.” She offered him her hand and he shook it. “Cullen Rutherford,” he replied and she eyed him up quickly. “Nice to meet you. Well then, see you tomorrow.” He watched her leave, eyes glued to her red hair until she vanished from sight. A chuckle caught his attention and he turned towards Varric who stood between two shelves, looking smug. “What?” Cullen asked and the dwarf grinned. “You’re blushing. See you tomorrow, Curly,” he replied and left the man alone in his store.

Each time the door opened, his heart rate started speeding up but it never was her. He was almost giving up hope, when the door opened again late that afternoon and he caught a glimpse of bright red. He smiled when he spotted her and she returned it. “Hi. Sorry, I’m only coming in now but, you know, moving is stressful,” she said and he furrowed his brows. “Oh, so you’re leaving Haven?” She shook her head. “No, actually my brother and I just moved here because of a job.” He felt a hint of relief before he pulled out the sheets from the drawer he had kept them in. “Here are the sheets, as promised,” he said and offered them to her. She accepted them and started skipping through them. “Perfect!” she finally exclaimed. “What do I owe you?”

Cullen shook his head. “Nothing. I’m actually glad to have found someone who has a use for them,” he replied and hesitated before taking the leap and added, “Actually, how about we have coffee together some time? As a little thank you? And I could show you around town.” She seemed to think about it for a second and he started to regret it when she said, “Tomorrow during lunch break?” A smile crept onto his face and he nodded. “Yeah, sure.” Victoria smiled as well and shoved the sheets into her bag. “Great. I’ll be here at twelve. See you then,” she said, waving goodbye and leaving.

He leaned against the counter, only now fully realizing what had just happened. When he looked up, Varric gave him a silent thumbs up and then returned back to writing.

He was just closing down his shop for lunch, which he usually spent at his workplace, when something red reflected in the glass door. He turned with a smile and was greeted with one of her own. “I always took you for a super punctual person,” she said with a crooked grin and shoved her hands into her pockets to shield them from the biting wind. It was barely winter but that didn’t matter in Haven due to its elevated position. “He only smiled and she asked, “So, where are we going?” He offered her his arm and she linked their arms with a warm smile. “The Herald’s Rest. It’s a nice little coffee shop down at the market place. I’m sure you passed it a couple of times already.” She nodded and hummed. Once they arrived, he opened the door for her, causing her to drop a curtsy and they entered laughing. The smell of coffee and cake surrounded them immediately as they sat down at a table. She shrugged off her coat and neatly draped it over the back of her chair before looking around. “It looks really nice in here,” she commented and he hummed quietly.

Once they ordered, she interlaced her hands and looked at him. “Alright, tell me about you. You from around here?” He shook his head slightly. “I’m from Honnleath but I moved here a couple of years ago. Where are you from? I can’t really place your accent,” he admitted and she grinned. “Ostwick, born and grown up until my brother and I decided to try our luck somewhere else.” She shrugged slightly and thanked the waitress when her cup of hot chocolate was put down before her. “We’re both teachers and we found out about the shortage around here and decided to come to Haven.” He nodded thoughtfully, carefully taking a sip from his coffee.

“What brought you here?” she asked before taking some of the cream onto as spoon and licking it off. He shrugged slightly. “Personal matters,” was the vague answer but she seemed to understand he didn’t want to talk, so she changed the subject.

They spent way longer than just the lunch break together, with Cullen showing her around town and introducing her to some of the residents. They shortly stopped at the police station, where he greeted Cassandra and the Bull’s Chargers, who made up the main part of the department. They stopped by “Madame de Fer’s” perfumery to introduce Vivienne and met Sera on the way back to the shop. Victoria kept always friendly and open and he often found himself smiling dreamily at her. Her cheeks were flushed by the wind when they stopped in front of his door and she smiled at him. “Thanks for the coffee and the tour, Cullen. I’d love to do that again sometime. See you around,” she said, quickly pecked his cheek and then left. He looked after her, frozen in his place, his cheek seemingly burning from the contact. A teasing voice broke him out of his stupor. “Okay, now I’m sure she’s into you. Still, would you mind letting me inside?” a very grumpy looking Varric asked and gestured towards the door.

A couple of days later he found a package in front of the shop when arriving in the morning. He took it inside and opened it carefully, finding books and a letter.

You mentioned that you also accept second-hand books, I thought I’d rather give them away than let them collect dust on my shelf. :) Victoria

His fingers traced the clean lines. “Damn, I don’t think I ever saw someone that love-struck,” Varric commented with a grin. Where the hell did he come from? The dwarf eyed him and then pointed at the letter. “There are a phone number and a winky face on the back,” he added before heading towards the back into the shop. He was right and Cullen’s felt a strange hope inside him.

You: Thanks for the books! Some of them are actually pretty expensive or rather rare, are you sure you just want to give them away?

You: I’ts Cullen, by the way.

Victoria: I figured :)

Victoria: And yeah, I don’t mind. Didn’t even know they were valuable. Take it as a thank you for the tour the other day.

You: Okay, if you insist...

Victoria: I insist. Hey, I started to work this week, so I do have only limited breaks now, so would you mind if I text you later? My next lesson starts soon

You: Sure, no problem :)

She only responded with a thumbs up emoji and he sighed quietly. If he had to be honest, he had never expected to fall this hard and fast but he did. And he felt good. Good enough that the dwarf’s comment didn’t even bother him anymore. “Maker, and I thought my writing was cheesy.”

Over the next weeks, they texted each other regularly and kept each other updated about their respective lives. Cullen was just going through some book donations on a Friday when his phone chimed. He smiled, when he read her name on his lock screen.

Victoria: Hey, my brother somehow got a reservation in that super fancy restaurant, you know, Pavus’ Fine Dining. And he asked if I wanted to bring someone, so I’m asking if you’re interested

He thought about it for a moment before he started typing.

You: I don’t think I own fitting clothes for that.

She answered with a laughing smiley before sending another response.

Victoria: Don’t worry, I think a nice shirt and is enough. So you’re coming?

You: I’d love to.

Victoria: Great, tonight at seven thirty. See you then.

“Now it’s getting interesting,” Varric commented from behind, causing Cullen to flinch. “Maker, Varric! How do you always know what is going on?” Cullen asked but the dwarf only smirked and waved goodbye before leaving. Cullen shook his head and returned to his previous work, though his mind kept drifting off.

Apparently, Victoria’s brother, whom she introduced as Darren, had gotten his reservation by extensively flirting with the head chef and owner of the restaurant, Dorian. He greeted Cullen cheerfully before announcing that their meal would be on the house and that he wished them a nice evening. He looked over at Victoria who looked stunning. She wore an ivory colored dress with a lace covered bodice and a two layered high-waisted skirt that fit snug to her body. Her hair was pulled into a bun safe for some loose curls. She also wore some simple jewelry and pumps.

Darren was definitely her brother, or rather twin, which he found out during the evening. His hair was just as fiery red and neatly styled as his sister’s. He sported an uncountable amount of freckles and – instead of her emerald green – grey-ish brown eyes. He was dressed in an expensive looking blue suit that made Cullen feel severely underdressed. He had chosen a simple blue button down and a grey blazer. Despite Victoria assuring him that he looked good, he felt insecure.

Warming up to her brother was just as easy as was warming up to her. Despite the obvious difference in wealth, neither of them did anything to belittle him, so he grew more comfortable over the course of the dinner. They laughed together, Dorian often coming around to ask if everything was alright and to heavily flirt with Darren. Somewhere during the evening, the Tevinter asked Victoria to accompany him – “See, your brother told me about your talent,” – and led her to the grand piano. Cullen threw a questioning look at Darren who only grinned knowingly and gestured to wait.

When Dorian started to play, she started to slightly swing her hips to the notes, before gripping the microphone in front of her and starting to sing. Her voice didn’t waver despite the many glasses of wine and her eyes locked onto the blond man. The music was rather slow and he only recognized it as Toxic when she reached the refrain – or rather a vintage version of it. Her lips curled into a smile, when she caught his cheeks heating up.

“With the taste of your lips, I’m on a ride. You’re toxic, I’m slipping under”

He shivered slightly as she drew out the words to the music, the never ceasing sway of her hips drawing him in closer.

“I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic.”

She bit her lip and winked at him and he leaned back, feeling his face burning. It felt as if her voice surrounded him and encased him like a hypnotizing cloud. He didn’t even notice the cheeky grin on her brother’s face.

When they shortly after left the restaurant, he caught a glimpse of a familiar face but blamed it on the drinks he had. There was no way Varric was there too.

Her lips were hot on his, her hands eagerly working on the buttons of his shirt. She tasted like honey and wine and he felt lightheaded whenever their lips were locked, though that might have been the combination of alcohol and a lack of oxygen. His hands fumbled with the pins keeping her hair in place until her locks came cascading down her shoulders. She broke the kiss to shove his shirt off his shoulders and he looked into her eyes. Her pupils were dilated, her cheeks flushes and her lips red.

A single doubt crossed his mind, reminding him that this was completely out of character for him and that he would regret it later but it vanished into thin air when her cool fingers trailed across his hot skin. She gently took his hand with a grin and guided it towards the zipper on the back of her dress. He pulled it down and she shrugged it off, revealing pale skin and – as he had secretly hoped – even more freckles. She pulled him back into a kiss and guided him towards the bed, climbing onto his lap and roaming her hands across his back. They spent the night exploring each other’s bodies and getting to know the other in a completely different way.

Cullen awoke to the sun shining into his face and covered his eyes with his forearm. He must have forgotten to close the blinds when he came home last night. That he in fact wasn’t home at all only came back into his mind, when someone moved next to him with a sleepy sigh. He opened his eyes and groaned quietly at the throbbing sensation. Sure, it wasn’t a fully fleshed-out hangover but he had definitely drunk more than he was used to, and the headache reminded him of it. When he turned, he saw bright red hair and pale skin with golden freckles. His cheeks heated up at the memories of last night.

Careful not to wake her, he sat up and looked around the room. His heart sunk immediately. Everything in her room looked expensive and it again reminded him of the gap between them. Sure, she never confirmed it, but there was no denying she was wealthy. Now, there was a high chance that this was only a one-time thing for her while he was sitting there, completely and utterly in love. Despite arguing against it, he got his phone out of the pockets of his trousers that were discarded next to the bed and opened the internet browser. When he typed in her family name, his heart stuttered.

The Trevelyans are one of the four main noble houses of Ostwick and founders of “The Inquisition”, a well-equipped and widely known securtiy company.

Maker, why hadn’t he researched something before He read about the estimated wealth and swallowed hardly but a movement caught his attention. He turned to see her awake, trying to his phone display but he could see she already seen his research. She looked up at his face. “Is this what you worry about, Cullen?” The way his name rolled off her tongue made his heat flutter but he tried to ignore it. “Knowing that you’re well out of my league?  Yes, that is kind of important,” he said quietly and she shook her head, sending her locks flying. “Maker, Cullen, do you really think I care about that? My family already has enough money, I don’t need any more. What I want is someone I can trust and love, regardless of ‘social statuses’. And I thought I found that person with you. But maybe that was foolish.”

Seeing how it hurt her, he realized how ridiculous his conclusions had been. She had always shown generous and never talked about anything related to money. He gently took her hand and she looked back up at him. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I... I think I panicked. I’ve never been in a situation like this. I didn’t intend to hurt you.” Her expression softened and she reached up, smoothing his hair back. “So, you’re willing to try this with me? No matter what others might or might not think?” He nodded and she smiled, pulling him into a kiss. And when he embraced her, he felt like belonged for the first time. She was new and exciting and it had drawn him in quicker that he could have ever hoped for.

When he opened his shop up on Monday, a note was taped to the door that made him smile involuntarily.

Curly, Put a ring on it. V.T.

P.S.: I expect to be invited.

Also, I can only recommend you look up Postmodern Jukebox on YouTube 

[cosmiciaria]

Dragon Age Inquisition Review (Spoiler Free!)

I know, I KNOW, DOES ANYBODY STILL TALK ABOUT THIS GAME? *just you* I DON'T CARE!

Maybe now that it was (almost) confirmed that Dragon Age 4 is a thing, people will come back to the older games. I must admit, I jumped completely BLIND into this game: haven't played Origins or II, never knew anything about the story – just so you know, the only thing I knew prior to playing this game was Alistair and the infatuation everyone (men and women) feel for this man. I knew it was an rpg, that you create your own avatar and that you could romance some characters, but that was all. IN FACT my knowledge of this game was so little that I thought Alistair was a main character in this one! Just imagine!

Fortunately, Dragon Age Inquisition is pretty friendly to newcomers: it doesn't overwhelm you with information, it tells a self-contained story and it's conclusive (or… not so much. I'm looking at you, dlc expansions). Of course, that doesn't mean that I haven't scouted throughout the whole internet for all the deets, but that's on me.

So you play as the Inquisitor: a character you create. Male or female, they can be Human, Elf, Dwarf or Qunari. It's worth noting that, whereas it's good to have variety, Bioware failed to deliver good animations for each of the races, due to the fact that dwarves and the Qunari (too short or too tall respectively) are sometimes cropped out of the scenes or their animations just don't match their arms or legs. It's a bit sad, for it could've been a great opportunity, but in the end, it seems the game was created for you to play as a human.

I chose to be what later I realized was the worst thing in all Thedas: a female elven mage. It wasn't until a few hours later that I noticed how much hate mages received! And my elf, being a dalish, a tribe of elves that abandoned those who lived in cities and strived for reviving the old ways, living in forests and such, were despised even by the other elves as well. So I was Inquisitor Lavellan, the worst scum on Earth. Great! Personally I adore mages and they are always my first choice when it comes to character creation. You might guess some of my later decisions in the game based on this.

You're thrown into the game with a weird mark on your left hand. First thing you know, you're a prisoner, and Cassandra and Leliana (two returning characters) are interrogating you in the dungeons, demanding answers. Of course you don't understand a thing they're talking about, until they show what YOU, YOU ABHORRENT CREATURE have created: a huge green breach pierces the sky, opening the way to the Fade, the land of spirits and demons. And you, you ABHORRENT CREATURE must close it, because it was you the one who opened it! You and your mark! You're led by Cassandra, a female warrior and Seeker of Truth, to the heart of the breach. In your way you'll meet two future companions, Varric (from DAII) and Solas, another elven mage. Now the squad is formed, you venture into this veil, only to find a vision of the past: Divine Justinia, the woman Cassandra served and the leader of the Chantry, asking you to run away before something explodes. The suspicion on you just grows stronger, but also the respect and the mystery around the mark of your hand. You fail to close the breach, and you're left unconscious for a couple of days.

You wake up in a cozy and warm place: Haven. This will be your hub-world for at least twenty hours. I MUST tell you this, for I felt the game only started when these first twenty hours finished: you're given quests and the story progresses fast enough to make you feel safe and secure in your way. The Inquisition es formed to fight this breach in the sky, and you must recruit as many companions as you can. Only after completing the initial quests and reuniting all the playable characters can I safely say the game starts.

Haven is attacked by Coripheus, a bad bad bad guy (you can notice he's evil because of his appearance, so evil and cruel, evil, evil man) and his archdemon, a huge black dragon. They tore down the whole place. You, as the main hero/heroine, must save everyone from total doom. You of course succeed in this (after a really annoying battle with fiends spawning every two seconds without allowing you to fricking spin a wheel), but Haven is forever destroyed in the process.

Thanks to Solas, the squad finds a new headquarters to live in: Skyhold, which is SO BEAUTIFUL AND REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF HOGWARTS- pretty useful for the Inquisition's purposes. You're officially named the Inquisitor, which for my character was a big deal, because she was not only a fricking hated mage, but also a fricking hated dalish elf. I made her always stood up for her race and her abilities, which served a greater purpose I believe the game hid very well: to break with prejudices. This is easy to miss if you play as a rogue human or warrior human, but when you play with other races, especially elves or Qunari, you can see how things change.

It's just a detail, but this hate for elves is such that when you do the Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts main quest and you need to gain points from the Orlaisian court, an elf starts off with ten less points of approval than a human. It's stupid, it's tiny, but it goes to show that prejudices are a huge thing in this game. Don't even get me started with mages, goddammit!

I know this all goes back to the previous games, and that's why I've read/watched what happens in those. Still, it's good that Bioware lets you redeem past characters with yours in Inquisition.

So now that you're at Skyhold, many new main quests unlock, many new main areas unlock as well and the game actually starts! I won't say the first part was just a prologue, for it's not, but it feels like the action picked up the pace once you get to your new home. As I said, being in Haven makes you feel comfortable and warm. The game creates a false feeling of safety before dealing a devastating blow, and that hit me hard.

From now on, you can do side quests, explore areas, close some rifts, talk to your companions and follow the main storyline as you please. It's all up to you! I won't spoil what happens, but I will talk about other stuff, like its characters.

Let's start off with your main Inquisitor. Their personality can vary between three main reactions to everything: either you're generous and solomonic, sarcastic and ironic, or direct and blunt, mostly unfriendly. I always went for the first option, but sometimes I needed to be a fricking bitch to get things done. One of the most important instances in which you can see right through your main character is the Sit in Judgment quests: after some main quests, you're given the option to judge certain characters that took part in it. The choices aren't the same for each case and mostly depends on your decisions or actions throughout the game, but again there are three main options: to give them a fair punishment (like community work), lock them up in the dungeons or execution. It kind of reminded me of Game of Thrones, when Ned tells Bran that the man dictating the punishment should wield the sword, well, it goes along those lines.

You can also begin a romantic relationship with the romanceable characters available to your race and gender. Specifically, a female elven Inquisitor can romance Cullen, Solas, Josephine, Iron Bull, Sera and Blackwall. A female human Inquisitor can romance all of the above, except for Solas. A female Inquisitor of the other races can romance Josephine, Iron Bull, Sera and Blackwall. And a male Inquisitor, doesn't matter the race, can romance Cassandra, Dorian, Iron Bull and Josephine again. So, once again, without even knowing it, I chose to be the most desirable Inquisitor in all Thedas! I believe the romantic relationship adds too much depth to both the romanceable character and your Inquisitor: you'll see them interacting in ways that are not available in other instances, and also develops their characters well beyond what the game wants to show you at first glance. Personally, I chose Cullen (I swear I didn't know ANYTHING about him from past games – I later investigated, and it fits so well that he falls in love with a mage!), but I'd advise you to try the other relationships as well. Cof, especially, cof, cof, Solas, cof, cof, damn you dlc expansions.

Let's talk for a bit about your companions. These will be your playable characters for the rest of the game. Prior to the attack to Haven, you can recruit Blackwall, a grey warden, with a past that hides more than meets the eye; Vivienne, an enchantress so beautiful that it made me question my sexuality a few times; Dorian, the most handsome mage in all Thedas that unfortunately only has eyes for men and not for this poor female Inquisitor who's been friendzoned by him; Sera, a rogue elf who doesn't like much magic or the elves or anything related to the Fade, but has the most interesting and funniest personality out of the team; Iron Bull, a mercenary Qunari who works with his team of rogues and is perfectly open to whatever sexual practice you're willing to try; and Cole, a spirit of a boy taken straight out of an anime and that sometimes made me want to cry myself to sleep with his storyline. These guys, alongside Varric, Solas and Cassandra, will accompany you to your missions. For each place you go, you have to choose three of them to form your team, but at each camp you can swap your characters just like that. Three warriors, three mages and three rogues, each of them specializing in one of the branches available for the class the Inquisitor belongs to. I recommend you to bring them all to your missions, maybe just walking around with them, for they interact with each other and their reactions are so natural and casual that makes me wonder how many lines were recorded for this game! And it adds so much to them and to their personalities!

At Skyhold, you'll have your counselors waiting for you at the war table: Cullen, your hot-as-hell-and-I-want-you-to-marry-me-you-sexy-pixel commander; Leliana, the master of spies and mother of all secrets and crows; and Josephine, your well educated ambassador, whose accent made me rethink in how many ways can the letter R be pronounced and that I've been saying it wrong my whole life.

All of these characters are unique and memorable. Companions and counselors will give you quests related to their backstories, in which you can learn from them and, if you're romancing them, advance further in your relationship. I strongly recommend you play all of their quests, for it develops the main story, and it makes you understand them. These are all morally grey characters, none of them are black or white, and sometimes some of your decisions in their quests can alter the ending of the game. So backle up, because there are these Social Links to complete and- sorry, wrong game.

For the most part, Dragon Age Inquisition remains with a serious and ominous tone. That's why there are certain scenes that melted my heart and robbed me of a few laughs and giggles, like the night they all play cards and Cullen ends up naked because he lost, or the man you have to judge that's angry at you and throws goats at Skyhold's walls – Maker's Breath, that one was a gem! And let us not forget about Cass and her filfthy readings! For these moments, I'm terribly grateful, for they remind me that sometimes it's good to relax and give these poor, tortured characters a break.

The voice acting in this game is just flawless. I can only speak for Cullen's romance, but his voice actor nailed it perfectly. There were scenes with him that destroyed my heart, and only because of how he spoke, so soft and sweet. AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU, THIS CUTSCENE:

IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY YOU CAN HEAR MY HEART BREAKING IN THE DISTANCE

The music score in this game was better than I expected. The main theme fits so well the tone of the story, and I was left impressed by the songs you can hear in the taverns! They're there, in the background, but if you stop to listen, you find magic and charm in their lyrics. Unexpected to say the least!

Visuals are also a delight. Except for character models, sceneries are colorful and vivid. A pity some animations are rigid and repetitive. 

However much I loved this game (and Cullen Wullen Cully Wully), I must say it's far from perfect. Most of my issues stem from technical problems and bugs: more than once my character was trapped in the falling animation without being able to make her walk, sometimes a character would disappear from a cutscene and suddenly the other characters would speak INTO THE VOID, some trophies are bugged and wouldn't pop up, etcetera, etcetera. There’s little room for appearance customization, with only short hairs for both male and female (Gods how I wish mods were a thing in consoles). I'm also quite angry that the actual ending that most probably will lead to Dragon Age 4 is in the expansion pack Trespasser, which is only 5 hours long and it currently costs (in Argentina PSN) over 17 dollars. If you've been following our poor and sad history with exchange rates, you'll know that's a lot of money for just a few hours of story I can easily find in YouTube (although I want to play it so bad!). I've bought complete games cheaper than that. Hell, this whole game costed me only 6 dollars!

That aside, and if you're able to oversee the bugs, I assure you, this is a great game. Gameplay is fast paced, the specialization for each character is deep and it marks a difference with the others, and the way you develop a friendship with each of your companions melted my heart. During the epilogue, you get to speak to each of them and the things they say to you can be synthetized in "dhajkdjakldjakldklas!!!".

I entered this world without a single piece of knowledge of it, and now, Dragon Age has gained a new follower. I'm thinking about playing the first two (of course, a fricking female mage again, because GO MAGES, GO!), only to cry in a corner waiting for the fourth installment to ever see the light of day.

If you liked The Witcher, or World of Warcraft, or are a fan of the past games, you can’t miss this one. Go, become the Inquisitor, kill some dragons, save the world, have some fun with your partner, love and care for Cullen Wullen Cully Wully, thank you.

[mistralrunner]

Trespasser Liveblog, Part 1: Ruins and Reunions

I decided to post my reactions to playing Trespasser with my Inquisitor, Menel Lavellan, cause why not. I watched @inner-muse​ play Trespasser with her Trevelyan when the DLC first came out, so I’m spoiled for a good portion of it, but considering I forgot things, didn’t read many of the codices, didn’t have the context at the time to notice some details, and my Inquisitor is rather different from hers, I’m hoping to be surprised by some things.

The game starts out swimmingly as Menel Lavellan’s face isn’t fully loaded and looks derpy for the opening scene. I reloaded.

Negotiations at Halamshiral are always a kind of punch in the face for a Lavellan

I’m so powerful and yet I still can’t get a Dalish homeland.

The march parade thing is two competent diplomats and Cullen, but his whining is very useful for exposition and probably getting the general Inquisition member pov.

Ahh the theme. Ahh the anchor. It’s really happening.

Mother Giselle: The Dales are finally recovering Menel: *knows he should be happy the shemlen aren’t suffering and somewhat is but considering their homes are on land stolen from his people* *is polite and gracious anyway*

I am so happy I get to reference that conversation about the Inquisition putting down their swords in game yesss. I have a fondness for that sort of thing.

Varric you are the best for negotiating a deal with Wycome’s council, especially with cities like Starkhaven around.

I’m honestly surprised they referenced Clan Lavellan’s fate since Inquisition did such a poor job of tying in character origins. Happy, but surprised.

All hail Viscount Varric he who does not wear the silly pointy crown

I wonder what happens if your Hawke took the Viscount position in DA2 though. Cause Tamara Hawke avoided that route like the plague.

I hesitated re: where to go next and then headed over to the tavern cause new songs. Who are these diplomats that I should probably be speaking to first?

I do not regret making Cole more human cause it made sense to Menel and also fit with Menel’s character arc but I do not ship this ship. It came out of nowhere and the implication that romance is a part of becoming human kind of rubs me the wrong way. It’d be nicer if they were just buddies roaming about making people happy. At least Menel’s reaction mirrored how weirded out I am.

Hehehe Menel you nerd distracting Bull are you even taking this seriously. The Veil as a vibration repelling the Fade part is interesting though given what’s to come.

I just realized Dalish and Menel have the same hairstyle. Huh.

Serraaaaa <3

Menel is no Jenny but he is there to be a friend always.

Sera’s journal is a mix of humor and feels as always. I do wonder how obvious Menel’s pain is to the general populace, and not just observant people like Sera. I headcanon Vivienne and her tailor fashioned formal attire for Menel that cloaked the glowing to some extent.

Josieeee my diplomat buddy

I’m so happy she takes a break and that she considers me enough of a friend to invite me.

Glad to see it’s still Leliana despite the silly new hat. Wanting to borrow Scout Harding to find more nugs, and not hiring anyone without first observing them in a room of baby nugs.

Why is there floating cheese?

It’s just hanging in the air near the palace entrance.

For context I should mention I headcanon that Menel was already in talks with Ferelden about disbanding the Inquisition and relocating members and Ferelden is covering it up by acting buffoonishly belligerent cause the Orlesians will absolutely believe that. Of course things are still tenuous cause the Inquisition has power and Ferelden is probably concerned they’ll be betrayed.

Arl Teagan: Redcliffe remembers its savior. Me: Which one?

Aww I can read Alistair’s letter in his voice wait what how dare you

"Someone, presumably His Majesty, has drawn a stick figure weighed down by an oversized crown at the bottom of the page."

I wonder if that letter is different with a warden romanced Alistair, since technically my canon is that @inner-muse’s Cousland and my Mahariel were wardens together and her Cousland becomes queen.

Oooh the landscape is so pretty.

And that makes Menel sad. Cause Halamshiral.

Fitting the journey ends here at the place named for journey’s end

DORIAN

PFFT CYRIL'S THE NEW DUKE OF CHATEAU HAINE PFFT

All references to Chateau Haine amuse me.

Ugh I really hate the reuniting Briala and Celene option. All the options stink but maybe I should have gone for the triumvirate instead. It was out of character to put a warmonger like Gaspard in power for Menel and I headcanoned that the romantically reuniting dialogue didn’t really happen and it was more like Menel and Briala cornered Celene politically but ugh. The commentary is disgusting even without what I know of The Masked Empire and is hard to listen to.

A fountain with Orlesian lions is such a great commemoration for a Dalish elf

Leliana's right next to a chessboard wow

That Leliana conversation was so good on so many levels. Bonus points for the hand focus

"You and I have come so far through the darkness together. It is time for us both to live in the light."

Thanks Leliana I didn't expect these feels

Now can you please please repeat this speech to Rhovan Mahariel

Pupppyy

I'm still angry we didn’t get a mabari. Menel respects the mabari's intelligence and finds it typical of Orlais to abandon one but doesn't understand my resentment

The line about how the mabari should know where they came from is so Dalish

I forgot the dog treats gave you a constitution bonus!!

My initial reaction to said bonus was tied between “Scary mabari magic” and “Honestly Menel will need it”

Dorian needs a hug

Aaaaah creepy purple smoke things even before the Eluvians that spooked me

Okay there are chessboards everywhere. Even more fitting considering who we’re seeing at the end of this DLC.

Spa day with Vivienne! Admittedly I headcanon Menel has full body vallaslin so seeing him in the swimsuit is weird. .

Hehe Sera in the background steals the show.

Glad to know Vivienne still ships Cassandra and Menel

Love how Leliana has her own guard, nice helmets too, oh they still have the same weird face belt thing as Sebastian

I had a weird feeling about that guy and he vanished right in front of me in creepy smoke like the last one

Saved talking to Cassandra for last. I know what Varric tells her in the case of other romances, but would he really lie about a proposal in this case?

Probably

Casssaaaandraaa she’s so adorable when startled and would probably kill me if I said so

Seriously Varric. Not surprised at all, but seriously.

The awkward silence was excellent.

I really like how this was handled. Cause this is not the right time, they’re busy with their respective duties, Menel is increasingly concerned about the state of his hand, and an Orlesian council isn’t really that romantic to either of them, and they both recognize it and accept that.

But her line about not even the Maker can keep her away coming from Cassandra

You know, Varric technically wasn’t wrong. Cause a quasi proposal did kind of happen in the sense of a conversation about are you okay with a proposal sometime in the future

Okay meeting time, which is clearly not going to be interrupted.

Really Teagan those comments about the wardens were unnecessary

The exile meant that there were very few wardens to combat the Blight, which by the way nearly destroyed your country about a decade ago as opposed Sophia Dryden messing things up hundreds of years ago.

I get we have a tenuous secret arrangement but slandering the wardens is not the way to cover it up.

I kind of just want the Hero of Ferelden to barge into the Council cause that would be hilarious.

Also Menel seriously in pain and struggling to cover it up during these tense talks and Josie's look of concern

Nice, this time they actually have guards blocking off the area rather than just no one noticing the obvious bloodstains in the Winter Palace

Eluvian!

*Rhovan Mahariel’s furious screeching in the distance*

*touches the glass and it makes a fun splooshing noise and pretty light effects* *touches again*

Rhovan “DON’T TOUCH THE GLASS TAMLEN” Mahariel is so done right now

The Crossroads is so much prettier as an elf all the colorsss

I don't have to fight the guardian spirits I am so happy. I could only parse some of the elvish but I feel like it’s cheating to look up an official translation if there is one?

We can't imagine why the Qunari think the Inquisition is in cahoots with Fen'Harel it can't possibly be because the Inquisitor talked to the spirit guardians activated by an agent of Fen'Harel and they attacked the Qunari but let the Inquisitor pass

Huh Vivienne is the first to suggest the Fen'Harel as the deceiver thing is propaganda, fitting considering she knows courts

Constant glowingggg Anchor yes

Sera: The Dalish. Are going. To shit themselves. Menel, a Dalish: ...

Cullen shut up Josie's job is important

I'm so sorry Josie. Our plan is falling apart and I'm not helping. You’re so talented but you should not be carrying this weight alone.

Where is the Tirashan where elves like Sentinels supposedly are

I forgot how much I love Cole’s cryptic lyrical statements. All the alliteration makes me happy.

“Your hand hurts. A heartbeat, not yours, hammering the beat of a song in its final verse. I’m sorry.”

“The spirits have fled, flying, fluttering, fast to the farthest Fade. They’re afraid of the Veil tearing again. ”

Also not concerning at all, nope.

Glad to see Sera still ships Menel and Cassandra, even if her humor is admittedly crude.

"Elf-loovians" pfft

Sera: Are you all right with it? The...Creators? Menel: I don't think I am, Sera. Sera: I...don't know words that fix things. But you have friends. We're real. Please remember that.

Excuse me as I cry

Aaaah Sera says the Jenny near Wycome says my clan is doing well aaaaah

Eluvian, part II!

I already know it’s the Deep Roads, so looks like I’m bringing Varric along!

I am really intrigued by this Dalish elf writing these notebooks, and also the fact that there was another misplaced Dalish in Kirkwall besides Merrill and Feynriel’s mother. Admittedly Merrill didn’t really engage much with the alienage community until much later.

I really do appreciate the Qunari ingenuity in finding people who know things and extracting information and then building upon it. The independence and unwillingness to cooperate with anything they don’t control not so much.

Yeah the Fen'Harel and Mythal in cahoots thing is unnerving to Menel. Also it’s been two years and the Well of Sorrows failed to mention anything about that until now? And elfy ruins underground feels so wrong.

[imakemywings]

“Sentimentality is not an option” Vivienne says as she stores Bastien’s lute, an instrument she doesn’t know how to play, in her tiny Skyhold quarters