#look i'm SORRY

[shhh-secret-time]

Can we please get some Poly Tweek and Craig? I'm so down bad for those two! Something spicy maybe? Love your stuff so far.

Oho~! This was was a little tricky to write but I enjoyed it! I do love those boys!

Warning: Dirty Talk, Blowjobs, Improper use of icing, Strong Language, NSFW

Pairing: Craig x F!Reader x Tweek

"She's gonna kill us man! Ack! Don't just sit there and eat the icing!"

"Why not? We're not using it."

"Dude! Just help me clean this!"

"Calm down honey, I am helping."

The two bickering back and forth brought a smile to your lips. Craig's monotone responses contrasted Tweek's rising panic, earning a little giggle. From the corner of your eye, you could see their shadows from the kitchen, watching Tweek's scurrying around frantically trying to clean whatever mess they made. You haven't walked into the kitchen yet, in fact you just got home. Calling out that you were home fell on deaf ears as the two were so engaged in their little argument.

Tweek's shadow was getting larger as he made his way out of the kitchen. Coming into view, you got a better look at him. He was covered in sprinkles and icing, the blue stars and little sugary delights stuck in his crazy blond hair. The white vanilla smelling icing clung to his cheeks slightly smeared across the pale flesh.

Where there was one the other was sure to follow, Craig following him with a pleased look in his eyes. Over time you learned how to read the tall blank faced man, learning that it was all in his eyes. And right now, his eyes held such childlike excitement, as he gazed upon Tweek's frustrated face. He wasn't as covered as Tweek was, but his blue hoodie had white powder all over the front of it, you guess he refused to wear the aprons Tweek owned, and his clothes paid the price for it.

"Where are you going babe?"

"What do you- what do you mean where am I going!? To wash this crap off! Since you didn't want to help with the kitchen you-" Tweek stopped in his tracks at Craig's question, turning to face him he hissed in frustration.

Tweek only stopped when he saw you standing in the corner of the living room. His eyes widened in surprise like he was caught in some horrible act. To Tweek this was a horrible act, his anxiety was screaming at him that the messy kitchen was going to make you blow up.

But it was the exact opposite, you were giggling and covering your mouth at how adorable they both looked. Craig stood there with a bored expression and Tweek twitching causing sprinkles to fall from his hair and onto the floor.

"Did you guys have fun?” You asked through your giggle fit.

"Yeah."

"N-No!"

You could only laugh again, shaking your head at your boys. Closing the distance between the two of them, you reached up and began picking the sprinkles from Tweek’s hair. You could hear his breath hitch as you pulled one off his cheek, stuck because of the icing, and popped it into your mouth. The little blue star melting on your tongue.

"Hmm~ lemme guess, cupcakes?"

"Hnng, y-yes! Craig and I thought... thought you were looking stressed recently, so we wanted to make you cupcakes!" Tweek explained through grunts and squeaks. His fingers were flexing until they found purchase on his sweater vest.

Craig only nodded along with his boyfriend, but he liked the idea you had and as Tweek spoke he picked a sprinkle off his cheek. When he popped it in his mouth Tweek's body tensed and shivered.

"Awh... guys that's so sweet! So, what happened?" You giggled again watching Tweek shoot a glare at Craig.

"Tweek freaked out because he couldn't get the cap open, fell back and the icing fell on him." Craig's responded faster than Tweek this time, the monotone voice cutting him off.

"Yeah, that sounds about right, but hey it's the thought that counts! Thank you!" You responded with a little shrug and a warm smile.

"Oh, the cupcakes still got made, they'll be done in a bit." Craig pulled his hand back when Tweek delivered a firm slap on his hand.

"N-now Craig and I are going to clean the kitchen a-and ourselves!" Tweek gestured to himself and Craig with a sigh.

"Oh~? Are you trying to tell me this isn't part of my little gift?" Your purr sent a shiver straight down Tweek's spine, a deep blush creeping across his face.

"H-hng no! I-I mean- it could be?"

Laughing at his reaction, you pressed your lips against his cheeks. The dried vanilla delight coming in contact with your lips made you hum. Your tongue darting out to collect the sweet icing that was already beginning to melt across your tastebuds. Tweek's body flinched in response, the feeling of your tongue gliding across his cheek pulling out a shaky moan.

"Hm~ did you offer Craig a bite? All of this can't just be for me." Your voice dipped to a sultry whisper as you finished cleaning off his face.

Your hot breath brushing against the shell of his ear made him whine out. Craig's chuckle now much closer than it had been a minute ago, Tweek could feel his breath fanning down his neck. Pressing an open tongue kiss into Tweek's skin, Craig bit down on the soft flesh. The sharp pain on his neck was quick but enough to make Tweek moan out.

"G-guys please." You smirked at the sound of his begging, which Craig mirrored.

"Ain't he sweet? Taste so good~"

"He does. Messy and sweet." Craig peppered kisses up Tweek's neck with a hum, Tweek's head tilting back in response. "Always a messy boy."

You hummed in response as your hands slid down Tweek's waist tugging on the belt loops. Following Craig's lead, you began pressing kisses on the other side of Tweek's neck down towards his shoulder.

Tweek's head was spinning from the sensation of both of his lovers assaulting his neck. His breathing becoming erratic at the love bites, the dark red marks Craig left behind and the teeth marks you were pressing into his flesh. Not to mention the way your hands were inching dangerously close to the button on his pants, your fingertips disappearing past the hem of his pants.

"Craaaaig, did you really not help clean the kitchen?" Your tone suddenly rang out, the warning making Craig stop and groan.

"I... ate the icing out of the bowl?" He muttered into Tweek's skin.

"Oh baby, that's not very responsible of you. I don't think you deserve this Tweek treat." Your hands cupped Tweek's hips to tug him away from Craig, who's brows furrowed.

Before he could protest Tweek let out a shaky sigh and wrapped his arms around you, immediately nuzzling into the crook of your neck. Just relieved that he could finally catch his breath, but more so that you were on his side.

"Why don't you sit down while I help Tweek get the rest of the kitchen cleaned up?" Taking Tweek by the hand, you lead him towards the kitchen.

Craig pressed his lips together in a thin line, if the way you said that didn't make his cock throb in response he'd be pissed. Leaning against the doorway, he crossed his arms and watched as you gently pushed Tweek back against the island counter. Tweek's eyes were wide as he watched you grab the bowl of icing, there was enough left to execute your little plan. His mouth went dry as he looked at Craig, the dark green of his eyes almost black with lust.

So preoccupied with the way Craig was staring the both of you down, he gasped when the cold air of the kitchen brushed across his exposed cock. His eyes flew down to your form, already sunk down to your knees with the little pink of your tongue sticking out. You had his pants down by his thighs, along with his underwater, his mind racing at how easily you could mold him. He was puddy in your hands and you knew it. You loved it even. You had a power over the both of them, it wasn't like Craig listened to just anyone. Someone with the kind of power to keep the stoic man by the doorway, someone with the kind of power to make his cock bob at the mere sight of you on your knees.

"Relax Coffee Bean, I'm gonna reward you for being so good. But I'm going to make you all messy again, okay? Continue to be a good boy and let me taste you." Tweek nodded at your command, his head shaking up and down vigorously. Anything you wanted; he would give. He'd give it all.

You smiled up at him as your fingers began collecting the sticky sweet icing in the bowl. Tweek felt his chest tighten when you began smearing the icing down his shaft. Just as he was about to squirm from the feeling of the thick cream on his cock, the feeling was replaced with your mouth around his cock. You started off slowly taking your time with the cute blond, your tongue swirling around the bright red tip. Each time he bucked against your mouth you had to resist the urge to giggle, he was trying so hard to not thrust his cock down your throat. He was already a twitching mess, but the incredible feeling of your mouth around his cock made it worse.

It didn't help that you could feel Craig's piercing gaze, watching you intently bob your head up and down; the icing smeared across your lips. Your hands trailed up the inside of Tweek's thighs, squeezing and holding on as if they were your last lifeline. Poor thing couldn't take it anymore, his hand flew down to your hair gripping the locks as he rocked into your mouth. Salty and sweet flavor pushed further down your tongue as slick pre-cum coated your tongue. Tweek felt his body tense up as he chased his release, losing rhythm the closer he got to his climax.

"I'm-I'm gonna cum, please let me cum! Please, please!" Whimpers and cries turned to begging that was separated by heavy panting, Tweek felt like his chest was about to explode.

Unable to pull away from his assault you gave his thighs a firm squeeze, letting him know it was okay to let go. A hum from your throat vibrating up into his cock made him throw his head back, eyes rolling to the back of his head. That was when you felt the salty liquid shoot down the back of your throat and your nose forcibly pressed against his stomach. Tweek's cries slurred to moans as he gripped the side of your head trying to anchor himself to you. Eventually, when he calmed down, he slowly pulled his member from your mouth. His hand shakily trying to message any discomfort from your scalp. You smiled and nuzzled your face into his hand as your swallowed down the rest of his cum.

"There we go, you did so good for me Tweek." You cooed happily, rising to your feet.

Using Tweek to stable yourself, you slid your hands up and down his chest feeling the loud thumping in his chest. Your smile died as a human shaped shadow was cast over the both of you. You knew what was coming, Craig didn't take teasing well if at all. The fact that he patiently watched you for this long was a miracle in itself. Rough hands, contrasting Tweek's gentle touch, grabbed at your waist forcing you back against his stiff member. You almost felt bad for the man by the feeling of it through his jeans alone it must have been painful, but any pity was thrown out the window when you felt him lift you up and press you against Tweek.

Normally Craig would have chuckled at the squeak that left your lips, enjoying the fact that you were suddenly so shy at the way he manhandled you, but right now the only thing on his mind was getting back at you. It wasn't fair that they could have a full conversation with their eyes and body language alone and it certainly wasn't fair that Tweek was so quick to betray you. His slender fingers fumbled with the button of your pants, once they were popped open Craig's fingers hooked into the waistband of them and practically shoved them down. With a frustrated huff he wouldn't bother giving your underwear the same patience, tearing them off with a snap. You yelped as you felt Tweek's hands grip your arms to hold you up and your feet no longer touching the ground.

In the back of your mind, you knew neither would do anything to really hurt you, but the way Craig looked at you made you feel like prey. And when he leaned forward, bending your body until you were smashed up against Tweek's chest, you knew you were in for it. His hot breath brushing against your skin as his voice dipped dangerously low, the kind you could feel in his chest as he spoke.

"Remember that I love you honey, because I'm going to fucking destroy you like I don't." The man pressed a sweet kiss into your cheek like he didn't just promise your downfall.

Your eyes widened up at Tweek who only gave you a smile in return, sickly sweet like he was enjoying this. The little traitor. When Tweek's hand caressed your face and he pressed a kiss onto your lips you should have known he was distracting you. Distracting you from Craig but from the way the tip of his cock drug across your wet folds there would be no ignoring him. Craig's arm hooked under your leg stretching your thighs until you were spread open perfectly for him.

You heard him click his tongue and then without missing a beat his cock slammed into you. The thick member shoving past your folds and immediately meeting that oh so delicious spot. Feeling Tweek smirk against your lips as you tried to cry out in pleasure, you swore you were already seeing stars. For as quick as Craig was going about bullying your insides, Tweek kept his kisses slow. While one was treating you like glass the other left bruises on your skin. Soft gentle kisses, tasting himself and that icing on you, peppering his lips on yours repeatedly; every time he pulled away you let out moan after moan.

"Fuck, the way your walls are clenching around me. You like this don't you? Like when I fuck you like this?" Craig wasn't usually so verbal but something about you and Tweek pulled something out of him. Maybe it was the way your walls clenched around his cock, fluttering at the way his voice got ragged. Maybe it was because he was addicted and finally getting his fix after you thought you could deny him. "Fuck of course you'd get wet from that, trying to choke my cock sweetheart?"

He stood back at his full height, no longer hunched over you to whisper filth in your ear. No, he was focused now. The shift was unbelievable. He went from short rough thrusts, rutting against you like a mad man, to calculated long strikes. His tempo didn't slow, if anything with your cunt sucking him further in it only encouraged him to speed up. Beads of sweat traced patterns over your skin, your arousal making it easier for him to keep up his pace. Tweek watched as you came undone around Craig's cock, felt your body tense up in his arms and your back arching. Tweek's fingers slipped down from your arms to your clit circling the pads of his fingertips around your aching clit, clear cum coating his fingers.

With your walls fluttering around his cock, Craig felt his release creeping closer and closer. He wanted to try and hold out to pull another out of you, Tweek already overstimulating you from his fingers, but he couldn't. Not when you felt so good around him, like you were made for him. After a few more slam of his hips, his cock pulsed and released deep inside of you. His cum painting the inside of your walls, filling your insides until you were stuffed and dripping.

For a few moments the three of you basked in the glow of each other, the sound of trying to catch your breath and Craig coming down from his high. Ever so slowly he pulled his softening member from your core, setting you down gently. When your legs failed to hold you up Tweek wrapped his arms around you. Gently placing you on the counter, he took a step back to help you both get cleaned up. Somehow the flour on Craigs clothes flew off and clung to your sweaty skin, the sprinkles from Tweek stuck to your thighs and shoulders. Instead of getting clean, now all three of you were a sticky sweaty mess.

Ding

“Cupcakes are done.”

[twogravesinsomecemetery]

The X-Files But It's Actually

Continuing in the spirit of unhinged txf content i made in 2018 that never saw the light of day but I'm posting now cause it's the 30th anniversary, I hereby present to you: The X-Files But It's Actually. Five years ago the revival had me so shook that I opened up photoshop started a whole terrible manip series where I would just questionably alter txf screenshots and turn them into intentionally Bad posters for other shows/movies ?? The originals are long since lost to time, so these are remade specially with love and affection as best as I remember them. <3

[atimefordragons]

if it is true that Joost punched someone from the zionist's delegation, I will use all my votes for Netherlands.

[mrenickma]

Someone on the internet:"Chemical X is Akus essence (proceeds to give a detailed look into the theory that provides solid evidence from the shows themselves)"

Some killjoy: "BuT CrAiG McRaCkEn DeNiEd iT!!1!"

Me: And this is why I'm eternally grateful for Death of the Author.

[iobartach]

live reaction of miguel every time he sees m.iles m.orales in beyond--

[impercre]

💋 from princess irulan, for whoever ! just something silly.

Send 💋 get a kiss | 3\5 (still accepting)

Oh.

He wanted to kiss her. It had often struck him that there was something within the Princess that couldn't be taken only given. A purity he himself did not possess. To be loved by her would be like being shriven before the Great Mother. But he was aware too how the Imperium saw his house. They had become too Ixian, too decadent and debauched.

He wondered if that was why she had asked for a kiss and hoped it wasn't "As you wish, your highness," He said, fingertips's tracing her jawline. They're the rough hands of a fighter and for a moment he imagines his fingers snagging along her skin as if it's silk.

Then he leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers. It's brief but not quite so brief enough to be chaste. Then he let his hands drop and pulled away as if some signal had been given that this rite or whatever it was had ended.

"How else do you wish to command me, your highness?"

[cha-melodius]

Fuck it. Let's hurt myself. #3 Goodbye for a Lokius kiss.

3. ...goodbye. (you know, a goodbye kiss doesn't have to be angsty, but you asked...)

It wasn't supposed to go like this again.

That Loki would leave was inevitable. No matter how much passed between them, no matter that Mobius felt like he could actually call him a true friend now—he'd known that at some point they'd part again. What reason could a god, set free in the multiverse, have for staying with him? He's got far better reasons to leave, to go track down his family, and Mobius wouldn't dream of asking him to stay.

The departure itself has an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu, though. The awkward goodbye, the lingering looks, the tension heavy in the air. At least this time no one tries for a handshake. Mobius tugs him into a hug without thinking too hard about it, burying his face in Loki's shoulder like did in the Void.

He echoes Loki's words: "Goodbye, my friend."

"Mobius," Loki breathes shakily, sounding oddly upset. "I..."

Mobius frowns as Loki pulls back, confused. "What's—"

And then Loki's lips are on his, a kiss tinged with desperation, and Mobius is helpless to do anything but kiss him back. Their mouths slide together, seeking out more and more, and Mobius nearly whimpers at the cut of Loki's teeth across his bottom lip.

But Loki draws away, taking a step back with a loud sniff and a hand swiped across his face. A beat passes before he finally looks up and meets Mobius' admittedly flabbergasted gaze.

"Goodbye, Mobius," he murmurs, then steps backward through the time door.

(Read all my kiss ficlets)

[androxys]

I'm exercising my divine right to not read Batman: Year Two in my New Earth read. If anyone wants to make a case for it here, by all means, be my guest. But I may just read Kelley Puckett's Mask of the Phantasm adaptation and call it good.

[alicesbread]

My intrusive thoughts are really telling me to change Rudolph's boyfriend so I can have the danvich,,,

[whosname]

Sadaharu!

[as-rare-as-trees]

Due to personal reasons I will be in a freezer until the end of summer, thank you and goodbye

[erigold13261]

Okay okay okay! I might use this design I have for Tatiana's mom instead for a first cousin once removed character to Tatiana (so her mother's sister/brother's grandkid).

Look, I know it's confusing but I REALLY want to use this design for present day stuff! She would be the same age around Cyril as they would be of the same generation.

I REALLY need to make a family tree for Tatiana (along with Neon's and Yinu's family as they are also pretty big. Nova doesn't need one I feel because his family is just his parents and him. No cousins or aunts/uncles. I could do grandparents at some point though lol)

[kiryuing]

[rainathrownaway]

I mean... look. We both know that there is no force in existence that will stop the willfully ignorant from ignoring canon nonbinary pronouns. They do it to Chara and Frisk, they do it to Kris, and they will just keep doing it no matter how blatant Toby is about using nonbinary pronouns. Like there’s not even the flimsy argument of “well obviously Kris is supposed to be a player insert” like there was with Chara and Frisk because the game blatantly tells you “you are not this character you created and named, you are Kris” and then has everyone in Kris’ life use they/them pronouns for them and yet still somehow they just don’t get it. And to be clear the argument was as strong as wet tissue for Chara and Frisk too. Undertale lets you *name* Chara but you don’t get to set pronouns for them, which would have been trivial if it were meant to be something that was up to the player. And it’s not a case of “Toby didn’t think about it” because once again people who know and care about them refer to them with they/them pronouns, which is not the sort of thing someone who “isn’t thinking about it” tends to default to. Frisk, on the other hand, is like Kris - they are not a player insert. They’re a totally separate character, and while there’s not a lot of pronoun usage around them, when it happens, they’re referred to with they/them. And yet still, somehow, people act like this is a fringe theory or a ludicrous reading of the material. Like if you want to headcanon their AGABs for whatever reason, that’s one thing, but their expressed gender, and the one that all of the people they care about and who care about them acknowledge, is non-binary.

toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections

[beif0ngs]

THE BOY SAVIOR ⏱️ THE BOY WHO SHATTERED TIME

[she-who-the-river-could-not-hold]

ah yes, the classic cure for being stuck on WIPs: start a new one!