#look i shared a bunkbed with my older sister for years and it did not go well so i was ready for the fallout

[not-to-be-gay-but-holy-shit]

I can't believe one of the first things I got to check off my Junior Year bingo board was "abernant bunkbed situation Does Not Last." I thought they'd get in another fist fight but this works too

[bookishjules]

i learned this year that when i was a kid, my grandma got mad at my mom for not paying enough attention to me. for not praising me when i did things well. for distributing her care and concern unevenly among her children.

my older brother is autistic and dyslexic and has dyscalculia, too, which is basically dyslexia for math. he had to go to speech therapy and occupational therapy. he had an iep (individualized education plan) in school and required a lot of guidance outside of it as well. i juxtaposed almost every single precedent he set. i excelled developmentally and academically, and i only needed to be told something once before i did it the right way. i was not the concern.

even before i connected the dots, i would act in ways to draw out my mother's concern. she told me a story, when i was probably around 4 years old, of how when i was really young, i got sick and lost so much weight that she was genuinely scared for me. any time i was sick after hearing that, i consciously ate less than what i knew i could stomach, lying about my appetite just to draw her attention and concern. i wanted to hear that story again, i wanted her to remember i needed to be cared for too. my eating disorder developed when i was 18. my grandma was dead by then.

i remember going through a phase when i was 14 of leaving words misspelled, even though i always knew the right way to spell them. i wanted someone to notice, to tell me i could do better, to hold my hand even if i didn't need it. i wanted my mom to look at me and see that maybe i wasn't as capable as she always believed i was. even if that incapability was all just fabricated. maybe if i wasn't as capable, my accomplishments would look greater. nobody ever noticed. my grandma had barely been dead a year.

one night when my grandma was babysitting my siblings and i, and i was up late talking with my sister, she came and slept on the floor between the bunkbeds as a way to get us to shut up. she was annoyed and upset and needed us to know that she was still there and would be all night. that night, i wasn't the one holding everything together. that night, her presence served as a reminder of her concern, that she would go to any length to make sure that i was doing as i should, rather than just trusting me to be mature. it's a fond memory, when my siblings and i tell it these days, an oh abuela, what a character story. but i think i would have liked her to lay beside my bed more often.

any time my grandma cared for me when i was sick, she would open up a capsule of vitamin c and mix it with honey in this little bowl. even when we had chewable vitamin c's that my mom would give us, even after i learned how to swallow a pill on my own, she would still hand me the bowl of sour vitamin cut through with just the right amount of soothing sweetness. it was a lot like her, come to think of it. kindness with a bite. and i swear she believed that vitamin c could cure anything. i don't remember the last time i took any sort of vitamin. but i still i crave her concoction every time i get sick.

there are a lot of things i wish i could tell my grandma--my abuela. through the years, i've often thought of all the accomplishments i wish i could share with her. little things and big things both. now that i know how much she pushed for me to be treated like any other child my age, i can't help but wonder if those wins are the things i dream of sharing simply because she's the person who would best receive them. now that i know . . . i can't help but add a thank you to my list of things i would say to her. thank you for holding my hand. thank you for seeing me. thank you for not letting my small needs go unnoticed.

thank you for getting mad at my mom so many years before i understood there were things i deserved to be mad about.

[shivada-jade]

reply back

modern!au/idol!au

characters: aether, lumine mentions: venti, xiao, kazuha, barbara, azhdaha warning(s): swearing because lumine and aether are siblings

notes: i've been lACKING these idol au's so im gonna write more idol au's because i nEEED it

You were seven when you were introduced to the twins. Coming from a foreign land, you struggled with the language they spoke in, but they were patient with you and taught you their language and much more. The twins were multilingual and explained it was from their frequent traveling and relatives from different places.

You and the twins were close, but Lumine spent more time with you, making Aether whine a lot. He would always poke sticks at you and hide your legendary, full art Pokemon cards to catch both Lumine's and your attention. It does work, but Lumine's mad.

"Aether!" She'd scream with a lisp because of a missing tooth. "Stop doing that!"

Oh, but Aether is a sibling, meaning he'd play the 'innocent' card. "Stop doing what? What am I doing?"

In the end, you'd always have to call their parents when they fist fight at the sand pit. "Aether and Lumine's mom! They're fighting again!"

"Again?" The tall blonde sighed. "Thanks for telling me, hon."

After a good scolding, Aether and Lumine would be totally okay the next minute like nothing happened. You were used to their banter and rightfully took your Pokemon cards back. Lumine stuck a tongue out, blowing a raspberry at Aether when he turned his back, grabbing three large sticks.

"Fight me!" He cried with glee, giving one stick to his sister and one to you. "I will be the grand king of the sand pit!"

You vaguely remember the rest. Maybe you lost the 'sword duel,' or maybe you didn't, but what you did remember was this tall kid playing with his cat and eating the sand. Forget the kid, the only thing you remember is his cat's name called Azhdaha.

Your hands close your story book. You would never admit to your friends, but Lumine and Aether that you still read fantasy. The other kids in the neighbourhood would laugh saying what you were reading is a kid's story.

"So what if it's a kid's story? If you like it, read it," Lumine says aggressively while Aether opens the door for both of you.

"Lumi's right. They think they're all grown up, but they're kids too," he closes the door behind him, waving goodbye to your grandma rocking on the porch. "What's the story about anyway?"

You walk ahead, leading the two to a local mall. Every week, Aether, Lumine and yourself would spend Fridays and Saturdays together.

You and Lumine often joke how Aether doesn't do 'Saturdays are for the boys.' To which, Aether would scoff and reply with, "Boys who say that are stupid, not all but most. Saturdays are for spending time with people you care about. I don't care if they think I'm weak."

You step foot in the bus, tapping the card to pay for your admission. The twins, walk behind, doing the same and sitting next to you on the bus.

"It's called 'Songs of a Siren.' It's cool, you should check it out." You say, scooting a bit closer to the side so Lumine could have more pace to sit. The bus is packed. Teenagers littered inside, only a few adults were there including the bus driver. "Let's leave. Teenagers stink."

"...But you are one."

"Well-"

After the next stop, you push yourself through the crowd, trying to exit. Lumine pushes people, muttering a few 'excuse us' while dragging her brother. Your feet land on the concrete sidewalk and you finally breathe freely.

You see the twins finally get off the bus and tilt your head, "Let's go, the mall isn't gonna wait for us."

Entering the mall, the first thing you pass by is a clothes shop. You and Aether share a look, quietly doing rock-paper-scissors behind Lumine who's beaming to go inside.

Rock.

Aether chooses paper.

You droop to the floor because you're dramatic, knowing that once you go in the shop, you'll be the one carrying Lumine's purchases.

"Alright, Lumine," you say sighing. "Let's go shop."

You see Aether in your peripheral vision, pumping his fist laughing a quiet, "Yes!" when Lumine takes out her wallet.

"I know you did rock-paper-scissors." She counts the bills from her wallet, "But I'm buying for Aether which means even if you carry the things I buy, Aether's gonna have it much worse because he will be trying on everything I tell him to wear." She grins, settling with a black debit card.

After hearing this, Aether tries to walk in another shop to avoid dressing up for Lumine, but his sister quickly catches on and pulls him by the ear and walks in the clothes shop.

"Let's go!" She says to you, "These clothes won't shop themselves!"

...

"This one?"

"No, you look like grandpa in that outfit."

"Well what if I like looking like grandpa, huh? What are you gonna do about it?"

"Some people can pull off the sexy grandpa look. You're not 'some people.'" Lumine pulls out another outfit from the rack. "Try this one," she laughs, seeing Aether's horrified face and pushes him in the dressing area.

This is the ninth clothes shop you three go to, and you were starting to feel bad for Aether who had to wear every outfit Lumine wanted him to wear.

"Lumi," you say calmly, having trouble holding five shopping bags on each arm. She's on a shopping spree and you wonder how she gets all the money to buy these things. "That should be enough shopping for the day. I'm hungry."

The blonde lifts a hand. "Hold on a second," she smiles before banging on the changeroom door, "AETHER LET ME SEE THE FIT."

You can hear the loud sigh from the other side of the door as it slowly opens. He only peeks his head out, shyly mumbling, "This is embarrassing. I don't want to walk out like this."

Lumine rolls her eyes and pulls the door open, revealing Aether in a white dress shirt and dark pants.

Aether lifts an arm, inspecting the design. "It's a bit..." he pauses, thinking of a way to not offend his sister. "It's not my style." His eyes seek for your help to back him up, but you couldn't. The style on him looks so ethereal to him, and Lumine has the same idea.

His twin ran up to an aisle and picked out two accessories: a silk cloth and a floral pin. Lumine shushes Aether who tried to punch her.

"Shut up Aether, you'll look great." She pins the black rose onto the front of his shirt and ties the silk cloth around his neck. She steps a few steps back, making a rectangle shape to symbolize a picture frame and elbows you lightly. "He looks okay for once."

Okay is underwhelming, but to describe Aether better, he looks celestial. The warm studio lights hug every angle of Aether from head to toe. His golden eyes seem to brighten more and the outfit only accentuates his physical traits more.

From the corner of your eye you spot a tall-ish man who has been wandering past the same aisle but never picking anything up. He wears ordinary clothes- a T-shirt and jeans (rather stylishly), but you know from his incoming aura he's more than just an ordinary person.

You tap Lumine discreetly while still holding onto her shopping bags and tilt your head towards the man.

Aether, who keeps picking on the cloth around his neck goes frigid when the strange man walks up to him.

"Hey kid," he says cooly. He looks Aether up and down, lifting his shades to see clearer, and pulls out a small business card from his pocket. "You look like idol material. Ever thought about being a part of a boyband?"

Out of politeness, Aether takes the card and laughs nervously, "Not really" He looks at Lumine and you for help, but you two pretend to not know him when he turns to you.

The man shoves his hands in his pocket, blowing a bubblegum and popping it. His hair slightly tousles when he turns, waving a hand.

"If you ever do decide if you wanna be an idol, auditions are held next week at 10AM," he saunters off. "If they ask who recruited you, tell them a man by the name of Valentin did."

His lavender irises looks back once more before leaving the store, "The people from Teyvat Entertainment are introduced by my very hands. Don't disappoint me."

The automatic sliding doors open for him and he waves the store greeter a goodbye.

You see Aether's eyes scanning over he card Valentin gave. His lashes flutter quickly, signaling you and Lumine he was either shocked, or confused.

Lumine grabbed the paper, a habit she picked up due to being a twin and having to share everything with Aether who won't share. Her lips part, showing the card to you.

Teyvat Entertainment.

A company who created the world's famous DCKZ and the idol, Barbara. Teyvat Ent. has one of the youngest, top rookies of the year because of a group called TVT Dream. A company with many celebrities' and the business card is legit.

A store worker no older than your age meekly walks up to the three of you and asks, "Hey, uh. Are you ready to purchase your clothes?"

...

Aether shoves Lumine (don't worry she shoves him 10x harder) on the stairs while you watch from a safe distance.

You wave hello to their mom before waltzing into their home like you did many other times. You were their third child in their mom's eyes.

You slam the twins' room open and lay yourself on the bottom bunk of their bunkbed. "So do you wanna check Teyvat Entertainment?"

You fish out your phone from your pocket and hand signal for Aether and Lumine to come close to see. Your phone turns on, showing the lock screen of the twins in their embarrassing toddler moments then unlock it. Quietly laughing at the twins who have their faces beet red from the photograph.

"Why do you have that pic? DELETE IT."

"Did mom give that to you..."

You ignore them, opening up Google and typing in the Teyvat Ent. website and search their contacts. You ask Aether for the business card, comparing the two numbers side by side, and Valentin is indeed one of the scouts for the company.

You shut your phone off, hugging the two siblings together tightly. "Whether Aether decides he wants to be an idol or not, we'll still be the best of friends."

Lumine grins, squishing your cheeks, taking a closer look at you. "Well, duh. Are you scared we'll fall apart? No, if anything you should be scared we're never going to leave you alone even if you're 60 and married."

You pinch her cheeks and start to say something until you hear sniffles and coughing. You turn to Aether who was hiding his tears.

"Shut up, I'm not crying." He harshly wipes away the water falling from his eyes, "When I go famous, I'm going to give you my autograph so you can sell it and eventually get 20 cars and houses."

...

You were a teen when the dark-haired Valentin scouted Aether to be a trainee in Teyvat Ent.

You note that without Aether, their home is extremely quiet. It's odd not seeing Lumine scream at Aether for taking her hair clips. It's odd not seeing Lumine aggressively pull on the colourful flower hairclips on Aether's hair, just to get the clips back. It's so odd not seeing Aether is general.

Lumine scrolls through her phone, looking for furniture to add to her new apartment she shares with you. The only thing in the newly bought apartment is three mattresses, three plates, and three cups, just in case Aether visits. Though, Aether visiting is rare. His visits only happen during December for Christmas, but even then he had not visited. It's been two years since you and Lumine last saw him.

You stare at your last sent messages to the blonde boy.

▶ hEY. (threatening)

YO

▶ take care okay? lumine's worrying all the time for ur health bc she keeps watching yt vids on how idols over-do themselves from training

haha thanks for telling me

are you sure it's not you who's worrying 🧐🤧

the last thing lumi sent to me was "FUCK YOU"

▶ well the last thing you sent to her was "U BUTT"

▶ and she took that seriously

are you siding with her?

▶ yes

oh okay, frick you too seen three months ago

Your feet pad against the wooden tiles, grabbing a glass of water while scrolling through twitter. You lift the glass to your lips and almost choke from the water you drink.

You click the link on the phone with the title "Debuting boy band already claiming the hearts of many! Please welcome 4nemo!" Four boys stand in the picture, one being Aether.

You place your glass to the sink and run to Lumine, sitting next to her and who her your phone. She reads it over and visibly shakes. You swear she was about to cry until she takes the phone from your hand and starts throwing it, "AETHER THAT BITCH. HE DEBUTES AND SAYS NOTHING."

You're mortified and pull your friend away from your phone, "THAT'S A NEW PHONE, STOP." You push her away and run to your device, clicking on the link.

"One, two, three! Hello we are," Aether, the familiar blonde says.

His group members follow after him. "4nemo!" They say in chorus. One by one they start introducing themselves.

"Hi I'm Aether!"

"Kazuha," one says with a raise of a hand.

An energetic member steps up with a grin, "And I'm Barbisabeto!"

"He's Barbatos, forgive him." Teal undertones make it's way to the camera, "Hello, I'm Xiao.

The one with twin braids step up, mischievously grinning. "Please take care of us and support us during our journey through the music industry."

His teal eyes squint behind the camera, whispering to the member behind him. "Psst, Xiao. I can't read I'm blind."

Xiao rolls his eyes and steps up, slightly bowing, "Please support our debuting group, we will see you in our music videos."

But Lumine and you never paid attention to what they were saying. Both of you just started crying insults of endearment to Aether because he looks so... different. His face had mature and he's a real idol now.

Reality sinks in.

Now that Aether had a growing fanbase, it's going to be harder to contact him.

"Lumine, how are we going to talk to him now?"

Lumine ponders a bit, resting her chin on her hand before smirking. "Let's create an Aether hate page."

"Yes, let's do it."

After a quick recording of Lumine and yourself, you posted the video online, and soon enough, it goes viral.

Lumine laughs, replaying the video.

"This one's for the boys with the booming system," You say monotonously in front of the camera like what you said was a speech instead of a song. "Top down, AC with the cooler system."

Lumine comes on screen, flipping her middle finger at the camera. "When he come up in the club, he be blazin' up. This one is actually not for the boys with the booming system. This is for the BITCH, AETHER WITH THE BLONDE BRAID. Look at you with your ugly ass smile," She speaks in one breath and it amazes you. "Make sure you get millions of hits or it's all for nothing. Oh Aether's an ass."

The screen shows your hand scooping the phone up and waving good bye with Lumine still dissing Aether.

You nudge Lumine, showing a comment written at the bottom of the video, covering a laugh.

"who's aether?"

"huh??! aether?"

"lOL Why Does The Person On The Left Look Like Aether?"

"OH 4NEMO DABUTE. SHUTUP YOU ANTI. THEY'RE GORGEOUS. YOU'RE THE ONE UFLY" ➡ "ahisfdh you obvi didnt watch the whole video. she said "make sure get millions of hits"

Lumine grins, commenting at the people calling her ugly and Aether way better looking. "Lol, IKR. the one on the left is trying too hard to look like Aether. it's like shes tryna be a twin or smthn"

Though, because of your viral "hate" video, 4nemo's popularity sky rockets because of the unknown 'Aether' of the group.

...

Aether watches the video on the news channel, because that's how popular the video got. He looks at his manager, "Can I send a hate video back?"

"Aether, no."

But the winds are troublesome as the ocean, because a boy with teal tips on his hair snatched the managers phone, running and giving it to Aether. "AETHER. DO IT RIGHT NOW."

...

It was a shock to you seeing people follow your twitter account.

"LUMI, [NAME], IM SRRY I LOST MY PHONE AND DIDNT WANNA TELL ANY1 OR THEYLL GROUND ME," said the tweet, tagging you in comments.

Lumine doesn't have twitter, so when she looks over your shoulder seeing the tweet with her name on, she grabs the phone and locks herself in the bathroom, "R U FR AETHER?U DIDNT REPLY TO MY HAPPY BDAY. WE SHARE A BDAY DUMBASS"

She calmly unlocks the door, giving your phone back casually while you whine, "Lumine! This is twitter! They're gonna cancel me!"

"I'll cancel them back."

Ding! You receive a post with you name under the comments again.

hello, i have to apologize for our member stealing the manager's phone to tweet that. i swear that kid's the most responsible, but he's been triggered. #kazuha

You quickly type back, under the hashtag 'kazuha.'

"@/4nemo sorry uh thats one of ur members twin & shes mad that aether never gave her a bday present when she gave 1 to him #kazuha"

notes: psst here's where i got aether's outfit inspo when they were outfit changing at the mall

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Miranda

This is a story set within my Bioshock Rebirth AU. A reimaging/reboot of the Bioshock franchise. https://geekgemsspookyblog.tumblr.com/post/626141727587270656/bioshock-rebirth-timeline-this-is-a-timeline-of-an Just as a heads up if anyone is wondering about the context. I’ve had some stories in my drafts for a long time now and I’m finally publicly sharing them.

I’m finally gonna write this story. I just wanna admit this was a story idea I think I’ve had since August. Who’s Miranda exactly? She’s basically a Little Sister OC. In all seriousness this isn’t your first appearance. But this will be I guess her real or better introduction. I’ve joked about her and mentioned her to friends like @feckinatlas and @fishtankinhouse

Amazingly this story was inspired by @pikablob​ who made this Owl House fic here. https://pikablob.tumblr.com/post/625383445502246912/squishes-pikablob-the-owl-house-cartoon I’ve been just lazy to write this. I made this post in the drafts when I was living in the guest room while my room was being remodeled.

Miranda is a character that just....I guess she came to life on her own when I thought of that story. Or just the idea if one of those Little Sisters had Autism. This was inspired by a couple of things or whatever. I love this character. Despite I haven’t thought much of her. I should just write this dang story. I’ll talk about other details in another post somewhere. 

Archie and Elizabeth were in Tenenbaum’s safehouse. As of now after going tough missions sent to Archie by Atlas. It was nice to catch a breath finally. As they were safe in this area. Where the rescued Little Sisters could stay safe from harm. While Brigid was working her make shift lab and checking her supplies. The two young adults were playing with the children. They genuinely liked being around the kids. It felt like a nice break after the nightmares going on in this city. It was reminding them of what else was at stake. That they weren’t just trying to escape or help out the poorer citizens of Rapture. But these children as well.

They were living in what was a sewer section of the slums. Reasons why because Brigid knew she couldn’t do her progress in her own apartment. After being made public of what she had done. The public demonized her. Many people wanted her dead.

Brigid was lucky to find a place where sewer workers had set up a living space. Because sometimes the workers would live here in case if a pipe was busted or so. There were some rooms for some people to sleep in. It wasn’t much. But over the past 4 years, she gradually tried to make it a living space. A makeshift lab, one shower with one bathtub in one bathroom, two rooms with two beds in each, a little dining area, and one laundry room. Brigid was grateful to find a little place like this. The biggest space was where the children would sleep in bunkbeds.

For the past 4 years she gradually got resources around certain places. Especially toys for the kids if more were to live here. It was so hard yet she kept trying. She tried to make it seem like a daycare center for them. To make those kids feel welcomed. Along with making sure they knew where to go the bathroom. It took a long while. But she seemed to have gotten it handled.

The children took kindly to Elizabeth. Probably because it was rare for the children to see another woman other than Mama Tenenbaum. She got along with them just fine. Despite never dealing with children before. She was like a big sister to them. If she had the time, she would hang out with them. Considering Brigid was mostly at work or so. Even though she tried to make the place as comfy as possible. 

While at one moment, Elizabeth did hear a mention from a little one that she reminded her of someone like her. But Elizabeth didn’t understand. Maybe it was someone else she knew. Elizabeth didn’t dwell on it.

Archie never dealt with children too. Yet he was so gentle with them. In fact kind of like Elizabeth. He seemed to really enjoy being around them. They looked to him as if he was a older brother. He had rescued them and made sure they were safe. While Elizabeth had Bluto growing up. Archie hardly had anyone. To him interacting with these children who genuinely liked him made him feel less lonely than how he usual was. 

The two young adults were sitting on the floor crisscrossed. Elizabeth took time drawing on some papers with crayons with Sally. While Archie played with some trying to build a castle with blocks.

“That’s a pretty flower Sally.” Elizabeth told the girl. Sally had colored the drawn flower yellow. “I’m gonna draw a blue one. Tell me what you think of it after I’m done.” She told her.

When she began drawing her own flower. Another little one had come across her.

“Miss Elizabeth.” The little girl asked her.

“Hi Miranda. What is it?” Elizabeth asked the girl who approached her.

“Can I....touch your cheeks please?” Miranda asked her.

Elizabeth was confused. She questioned why Miranda wanted to do that. But it didn’t seem like anything bad.

“Umm sure you can do that.” Elizabeth told her as she put down the blue crayon and looked at Miranda. After that Miranda decided to calmly put her hands on her cheeks. With then Miranda squishing them a bit. Elizabeth felt a bit confused. Yet Miranda was a sweet girl that she recalled. Yet the squishing went on for a minute. Then another minute. Archie was a bit confused seeing it. But Elizabeth didn’t interrupt her. But after those two minutes, Miranda had decided to stop. 

“Is....there anything else you need?” Elizabeth asked the girl.

“No” Miranda told her. The little girl just walked away. After that Elizabeth was just confused. Maybe she liked her face or something. 

10 minutes had passed. Elizabeth and Archie decided to check in with Brigid to see if she was doing fine. The kids were just doing their own things. Considering the young adults needed a break.

“Hello Miss Tenenbaum” Elizabeth told her. 

“Hey Dr. Tenenbaum” Archie told her as well.

“Hi you too. I saw you were enjoying yourselves.” Brigid told them.

“Yeah it was nice honestly. It was nice just hanging around them more.” Elizabeth told her.

“I saw Miranda was squishing your face.” Brigid said.

“You saw that too?” Archie asked.

“Yes I did see it. Well I mean there’s clear glass here.” Brigid laughed a little after saying that.

“Oh yeah sorry.” Archie said. Forgetting that Brigid could she what was going on in that room.

“Umm Miss Tene-no I’m sorry Brigid” Elizabeth got Brigid’s attention. She just seemed so polite calling Brigid that. Even though Brigid told her she could call her by her first name.

“Yes Elizabeth.” Brigid answered.

“Why do you think she did that?” Elizabeth asked her. 

“Ah yes. Why she did that. You two know what Autism is right?” Brigid asked them.

“I have read about it in my books.” Elizabeth told her. 

“Yeah I know about it.” Archie said as well.

“Well...she has it.” Brigid told them. The two looked surprised a bit after hearing that. 

“Are you being honest with us?” Archie asked her. “I’m sorry to ask.” He told her

“Yes I am and it’s fine Archie. She’s one of the few I know who has it.” Brigid told them as she held a pen in right hand as she looked through the glass. “I wanted to tell you two that. I’ve just been busy and I think you’ve may of noticed she kind of keeps to herself.” Brigid was right. Miranda always seemed shy. She wasn’t a bad kid. Yet she acted differently than some of the other girls. Even though she got along with them. She was usually maybe playing with a little toy train or whatever else.

“How did you find out she had Autism?” Elizabeth asked her. “I read it’s could be tricky to find out if a child may have it.” Elizabeth continued on.

“Because I have it too.” Brigid told them. The two young adults stared at her. Brigid was just still looking through the glass until she looked back the two adults. “Ja I get it. It doesn’t seem like it. But trust me. You start to notice some similar traits.” She said as she decided to look through her drawers to find something. After that she found what she was looking for and got up to get closer to them.

“Again I’ve been busy. When I’m not. I try to tend for them as much as possible. Despite of what I’ve done to them. Especially Miranda.” Brigid said as she wanted to show them something. It was some sort of tangle thing.

“What’s that?” Elizabeth asked. She was curious of what she was seeing.

“A little stim toy I made. I will admit, I made this when I first got her here.” Brigid told them. “The first time she was here. She wasn’t acting right. She was in a pouty mood at times. I think she didn’t like the place here. Sometimes she would have a meltdown. So a lot of times I had to hold on to her and calm her down.” Brigid told them. “I will admit....it was strange seeing someone like me going through a different way of experiencing a disability like that. Because we’re all different.” Brigid continued on.

“But you know considering her new surroundings. It bothered some of the other girls. I knew I always wouldn’t be here to comfort her. Especially in a city like this. So I made this. She was confused by it at first. But when I gave it to her. She loved it.” Brigid told them. “Heh will admit I do like it myself.” Brigid said.

“Why are you telling us this?” Elizabeth asked.

“Because I felt it was important. I just hoped you won’t bothered by her squishing your face. I had worried maybe she needs this. Which is why I’m telling you about it.” Brigid told her. She just looked and messed with the stim toy. The two adults looked at her playing with it. “Scheiße I’m sorry I got distracted.” Brigid said as she sighed.

“Is everything okay?” Archie asked. Brigid suddenly looked saddened.

“I’ll be fine. I just remember one night when she wanted to feel safe. I allowed her to sleep in a bed with me. You know how children get nightmares they go to their parents or loved ones.” Brigid told them. “....I still remember the night she told me about her parents. That they left her at the orphanage because they thought she was....weird....” Brigid continued on as she sound more saddened after saying that.

“Are you saying her parents left her on purpose?” Archie asked.

“From what I’ve gathered....sadly yes. Because of how she is.” Brigid told them. She just looked through the glass to see Miranda keeping to herself. “She was.....strangely happy with that Big Daddy Bouncer....before I killed it.” Brigid said as she looked back at the stim toy. “She’s been here since January this year.....I wonder if she’s grateful for me. Not like I deserve it.” She then noticed Elizabeth put her hands around the stim toy. This made Brigid’s eyes widened and to look at Elizabeth.

“Hey it’s okay....I think she’s grateful to have you. And us.” Elizabeth told her. “Would you like me to take this to her?” Elizabeth asked her.

“....yes. Thank you.” Brigid nodded smiling. 

The two young adults went back out. Some sisters were on their beds resting. While some minded their own business. Miranda sat in a corner with her little train she just pushed back and forth. During that moment she was in her little world. She then noticed the two adult’s shadows pop up behind her. With her head turning around to the right.

“Hi” Miranda said softly.

“Hey Miranda.” Elizabeth told her softly. The two adults sat down close to her.

“Hey there. You feeling okay?” Archie asked Miranda.

“I’m okay. Did I make Miss Elizabeth sad or mad?” Miranda asked him.

“Oh no you didn’t. I was just confused of why you squished my face.” Elizabeth said. 

“I think your cheeks look nice.” Miranda told them. “They looked soft.” She continued on.

“Yeah they are soft.” Elizabeth smiled softly. She revealed the stim toy. “You remember this?” She asked the little girl.

The little girl gasped. “Mama Tenenbaum’s Tangle.” Miranda said sounding excited. 

“Yes it is. Do you want to hold it?” Elizabeth asked her.

“Yes please.” Miranda asked her. Elizabeth gave her the stim toy. “I like this toy a lot.”

“It seems fun. I can’t blame you.” Archie told her. The two adults admired seeing the girl play with it. “Do you feel better right now?” Archie asked her.

“Yes.” Miranda said as she looked at him so happy. She just messed with it. Just like with the train but this time. She seemed more relaxed.

“Hey Miranda. If you want to squish my cheeks. I’ll let you do that if you want to okay.” Elizabeth told her. 

“Okay.” Miranda told her smiling. The two just admiring the girl playing with the little stim toy. While behind the glass, Brigid was looking at the with a smile. Seeing a little moment like that reminds her there is still goodness in this city.

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[earleofsteve]

"Hey Dumbo" story, update #1. Written by Steve Jacobs on December 2, 2000 at 8:18 pm.

Do you ever get the feeling that no one in the world understands you? Well I get that feeling everyday of my life. My family understands me on some levels, my friends on other levels, but nobody really understands who I am. Well I intend to change that. My hope is that after reading this you will understand me as well as I do. I've gone on a journey of self-discovery over the past month that I’m only beginning to understand.

I met a woman a month ago. She was the first person I tried to tell this story to. Since then I've lost count of how many people I have told this story to. Each time I have told this story it has made me feel a little better. The story has come out in bits and pieces over the last month and at times it didn't make a lot of sense. I’m still struggling to make sense out of it myself. I've always been better at expressing my thoughts by writing them down rather than by speaking them. This is my first attempt at writing down my story. It’s a good story. It’s the story of my life. Telling it has helped me and I think it may even be able to help you.

Why did I start telling this story? I am 37 years old and I am the quietest person I know. I have spent 95 percent of my life listening and 5 percent talking. Prior to a month ago I couldn't string three sentences together without having to be resuscitated. You ask the people who know me. They will tell you how quiet I am. Why am I so quiet? There are reasons why I’m quiet and I’ll tell you what they are as best I can. Don’t get me wrong, I've had a great life in so many ways and I have many things to be thankful for. But there have been some hard times too. When I speak of the hard times I don’t want people to take pity on me or feel sorry for me. It’s part of who I am and you need to know these things if you are to understand me. Here’s my story. I hope you like it.

May 24, 1963 I was born a poor black child. If that offends you that’s too bad. It’s from the movie “The Jerk” with Steve Martin. It’s a funny movie. You should watch it. I’m going to throw a bunch of names at you. I don’t expect you to remember them all; they’re just characters in my story. My Dad’s name is Walter and my mother’s name is Kathy. I’m the oldest of three children. My sister Sharon was born in 1964 and my sister Janice in 1966.

My Mom is from Delaware and most of her family still lives there. My Dad met my Mom while he was in the Air Force stationed in Dover, Delaware. I was born in Neenah, Wisconsin at Theda Clark hospital and grew up in Menasha, Wisconsin. My Dad’s parent’s names are Al and Millie Jacobs. They had four children. Annette is the oldest followed by my Dad and twin girls Ruth and Rhoda.

There were six adults that were a major influence on me while I was growing up. They were my Mom and Dad, my grandparents Al and Millie, and my Aunt Rhoda and her husband Roy. My Aunt Rhoda and Uncle Roy had four children. Allen was a year older than me. Sue is my age. Dawn is my sister Sharon’s age and Karen is the same age as my sister Janice. My aunts Annette and Ruth lived in other parts of the country while I grew up. I don’t mean to slight them in any way because they are wonderful people. But since they lived far away they were less of an influence on me as I grew up.

My grandmother Millie was a wonderful person. She had the kind of love that could light up a room. You could be across the room from her and you felt loved. She was an outgoing talkative person. My grandfather Al was a little more quiet and reserved than my grandmother but he also was a warm loving person. My grandfather was the musician of the family. He played music all the time. I can’t remember a time that our family got together that he didn't play music. He played by himself, sometimes with friends, sometimes when it seems no one was listening. What my grandfather couldn't say with words he said with his music. His music came from his heart.

Our family was a little more on the quiet side while my Aunt Rhoda’s family was always more outgoing and talkative. I always enjoyed going to my Aunt Rhoda and Uncle Roy’s house because they were fun people to be around and they always made you feel welcome. I still enjoy going to my cousins Sue, Dawn, and Karen’s houses for much the same reason. The point I want to make is that I was born into a warm loving family. I don’t just mean my immediate family but my extended family as well. They’re all wonderful people that have helped me in so many ways over the years. If I didn't have a warm loving family I would have self-destructed years ago.

When I was young we used to have a cottage in northern Wisconsin. It was a small cottage on Pier Lake. There was an entryway, one main room, a room in the back with two queen size bunkbeds, and that was it. Some of the fondest memories of my childhood were at that cottage. Our family, Rhoda and Roy’s, and my grandparents grew close by spending time together in that little cottage. We laughed together and we played together. Grandpa played his music. Sometimes he had guests over to play music. There was love in that cottage. I’m so thankful for that love. It’s what’s kept me going for so many years.

I was loved and I was very happy the first five years of my life. Things started to change once I started going to school. There was something about me that made me different from the other kids. I was born with large ears that stuck out like you wouldn't believe. If a stiff wind would kick up I would take off like a helicopter. I’m exaggerating but you get the idea. If you’re different from other kids they let you know about it. Kids can be cruel. I was teased about my ears every day I went to school up until about the ninth grade when I grew my hair over my ears. Kids weren't that original. It was the same names year after year. Dumbo, elephant ears, big ears, or just ears.

The first five years of my life I never knew I had big ears. Nobody told me I had big ears. My ears weren't an issue. I was loved and that’s all that mattered. The first memory I have of being called a name was at St. Mary’s grade school in Menasha. There was a courtyard that separated the grade school from the gym where lunch was served. I was in the courtyard with a hundred or so other students waiting to get into the gym for lunch. There was a young girl standing on the steps above me and that name came. Hey Dumbo! All of the other students turned around to look at me. That’s when I knew for the first time that I was different than the other kids.

I got teased every single day I went to school. It never stopped. I would come home from school crying and tell my Mom that kids were calling me names. Her advice was to ignore them so that’s what I did. I stood there and took it. I took it everyday from the first grade up until about the ninth grade. I never stood up for myself. There was only about five or six kids that would call me names but nobody ever helped me stand up to those kids. The other kids, my friends, teachers, principals, coaches, nobody stepped in to help me. I was quiet so I didn't ask for help but no one ever tried to put a stop to it. Why? I get angry when I think about it.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. I always hated that expression. Names hurt more than a lot of people realize. I tried to ignore the names but when you hear them every single day of your life it starts to become a part of you. I remember seeing the movie “Frankenstein” when I was a kid. That movie made me cry. Do you know why it made me cry? Frankenstein is this monster with green skin and bolts coming out of his neck. The people in the village are terrified of him. Underneath Frankenstein is a really gentle creature. The people in the village don’t see that. All they can see is what’s on the outside. Frankenstein goes to a blind man’s home. The blind man welcomes Frankenstein into his home and feeds him. I remember thinking is that all people see when they look at me, a monster with 2 big ears? Why can’t they look beyond my ears and see all the good underneath?

End of December 2, 2000 update to "My Dumbo" story. Just so you know, I offered to share my writing with my psychiatrist, shortly after I had been locked up in the "cuckoo's nest" for a week. My doctor told me he didn't want to read my "manic ramblings." Apparently, one does not need to get to know a patient in order to treat them. If there are "magic potions from Mordor" what else do you need? Why attack the root of a problem when you can sprinkle "magic dust" on it?

[marclefrancois1]

The Agony and Ecstasy of Room Sharing for Siblings

The following post e0a9e1e9e6412908cf53cee25f32209b62d23d03e119cd2df63e6855e8fc22eee0a9e1e9e6412908cf53cee25f32209b62d23d03e119cd2df63e6855e8fc22eepostlinke0a9e1e9e6412908cf53cee25f32209b62d23d03e119cd2df63e6855e8fc22eee0a9e1e9e6412908cf53cee25f32209b62d23d03e119cd2df63e6855e8fc22ee is courtesy of The Marc Le Francois Sleep Health Blog

Room sharing for siblings presents special challenges for parents and families when it comes to getting a good night of sleep. I wrote an article in the New York Times on this topic which is coming out soon. To help me with this, I asked subscribers to my mailing list to tell me about their experiences.

I’m fortunate to have some of the smartest readers on the internet. I asked my readers about how room sharing affects their family’s routines at night— the good, the bad, and the ugly. This information informed the article I wrote.

Benefits and joys of room sharing

Several moms mother notes that room sharing helped quite a bit with her younger child’s sleep issues. Natasha says:

My daughter age 2.5 and son age 5 share a room. This began about 8 months ago after a sleep trainer recommended it might help with my daughter’s sleep challenges. She would scream at bedtime and wake up in the middle of the night for up to 3 hours. The room sharing worked like a charm!

Dr. Kara Garcia, a pediatrician in Pennsylvania, takes about how helpful this has been with her children, now ages 5 and 7.5 years old:

I put my kids in the same room once my younger one was in a bed, so at about 2 yo. They were in separate rooms before that.

My eldest has always been a “nervous” sleeper, had a tough time getting to bed alone, but ever since we put them together he has been great at bedtime. My youngest is very flexible and after she got over the fact that she didn’t “have her own special room,” she likes being able to sleep in a bunkbed with her older brother.

I talk to patients about this a lot – each kid has a different sleep style and you have more success if they have “complementary sleep styles,” so to speak.

WHAT’S GOOD: kids with separation anxiety thrive with someone else in the room, they are good buddies

My big worry now is when and how to separate them! They like having their own space, but want to sleep in the same room. I fear the regression my son will have when they are separated. But maybe they will sleep in the same room until he moves out

Children also tend to wake each other up less than you expect, although the mornings remain a challenge, as Dr. Garcia notes:

My kids go to bed at the same time, and usually wake up around the same time – 8:30 pm – about 7:30 am. I am lucky.

Middle of the night wakings rarely result in both being awake. Neither is a light sleeper, so maybe that’s why, but I feel like even with other families, this is an overblown concern.

Sometimes the first one awake will wake the other one in the am, and that can be a bummer. They usually will stop doing it if we ask them to stay quiet in the am and just come over to our room.

My big worry now is when and how to separate them! They like having their own space, but want to sleep in the same room. I fear the regression my son will have when they are separated. But maybe they will sleep in the same room until he moves out!

One father writes:

At night, it’s not a real issue. Even when one wakes up crying from a nightmare, the other one stays asleep. While we were night-potty training them and would bring take them to pee in the middle of the night, they didn’t wake each other up (or wake up themselves). Nap time, when sleep is lighter, is more of a challenge. It is much harder for one to get up without waking up the other.

Rachel notes that sharing a room is economically and environmentally sound:

The best thing about kids sharing a room is saving space. We had to give up our home office space to move the babies into a separate bedroom from their sister, which matters because we both work from home often. We don’t have enough bedrooms to give each child their own room. It also feels more environmentally friendly to share a smaller home as a family, rather than heating and cooling a 4-bedroom house.

It can even help on weekend mornings:

Our twins sometimes are content to babble at each other when they wake up in the morning, rather than immediately crying for us. This helps us doze in the mornings sometimes.

Another father writes:

If they both wake up early, they first turn to bothering each other instead of us. Also, it them being in the same space makes it easier to not have to confine activity or noise away from only one room instead of two while they sleep. It is also easier to not have to shuffle them around when we have visitors staying with us.

One thing that I’ve found helpful is having an OK-to-wake clock (a stoplight that is red during sleep hours and turns green at wake-up time). We have used this to establish the norm that if the light is red, they can’t make noise. There are books and stuffed animals in the room but no toys that make too much noise to keep them engaged and from waking each other up.

Room Sharing Challenges and How to Negotiate Them

Compatible schedules

It can be really challenging if children have an incompatible bedtime. Rachel writes more about this:

Our twins used to share with their 3-year-old sister, but it was a mess. We’d put the twins down at 7:30 in pack-n-plays in our home office so we could do bedtime with the 3-year-old in the kids’ bedroom, then we’d have to move the babies to their cribs after their big sister was asleep. She would then wake up in the middle of the night and come into our bed almost every night. The day we gave the babies their own bedroom, she started sleeping through the night in her own bed.

Natasha says:

We have a challenge that both kids need to go to bed at different times. My daughter still naps – at daycare they let kids nap for over 2 hours until past 3 pm which means my daughter won’t fall asleep until 9 pm. But my son needs to sleep at 8 pm. This is difficult. And i haven’t yet found a workable solution. If i put my daughter to bed too early she just screams so my son can’t fall asleep.

EV writes about the challenge when two children have different sensory preferences for falling asleep. Some children like music or sound; others require absolute silence.

One of my children falls asleep very easily (7) The other one (9) tosses and turns, wants to listen to a story on the radio etc. This makes it harder for the younger one to fall asleep and she complains.

Another mother writes:

My son, 7, shares a room with my daughter, 4. They both go to bed at 7:30pm though my son looks forward to going to bed (he’s always been very good about going to bed) and my daughter would rather stay up. My daughter will be disruptive by either coming out several times or doing silly things/trying to get a rise out of her brother. This creates a problem for my son who desperately wants to go to sleep and for us who want to start our evening sans kids. While the 4 yr old’s behavior has actually been better this past week, when she is disruptive we move my son into our room to go to sleep and later move him back into bed once they are both asleep. This lets him go to sleep and hope incentivizes her to stay in bed.

Sometimes, one child may be freaking out:

The challenge is if one is having a melt-down and the other one is ready to go to sleep. We have at times put one to bed and then let the other get through their melt-down outside the room before taking them in to bed, but it’s hard for this not to be disruptive to the one who is already in bed.

Bedtime compromises

Sometimes you need to make some compromises with bedtime. Sara, a mother of three writes about the challenges of having ten month old twins and a 3 yo boy in a two bedroom apartment.

The twins go to sleep around 7:45 or 8, and E has some play time with us then reads books in the living room and goes to bed around 8:45. (If he goes to bed earlier than that he’s up around 5 am.) His bedtime routine isn’t ideal – one of us has to lay down with him, though we try to leave before he’s all the way asleep

The one challenge now is that if one of us is alone with all three kids we definitely have to use screens to keep the older boy occupied and quiet during the twins’ bedtime routine.

Bedtime stories can be a sticking point:

I thought we’d be able to read them the same bedtime stories, but they are not really interested in the same stories anymore, so that’s not as streamlined as I’d like!

Pamela, who blogs at The Living Feed, is the mother of a 3.5 yo girl and 2 yo boy. She notes:

The bunk bed separation is a challenge for our story time routine. The first week or so we would lay down on the top bunk and read + fall asleep there. It was disruptive to then move my sleeping son to his bed. I tried standing next to the bed while both of them were on the top bunk but that was awkward. Last couple of days we’ve been doing story time on the bottom bunk – it helped the younger one get the comfort of being in his own bed + spend a few extra minutes laying next to his sister (which he actually loves to do, but which I cannot allow them to do because his sister’s movements throughout the night wakes him). This setup is lesser of an issue for the older one, who happily moves back up to her top bunk as soon as she gets the satisfaction of reading enough books.

Managing the transition:

If you introduce a baby into your older child’s room, doing so mindfully can be really helpful. Sara describes the way she handled this:

My 3-year-old son and 10-month-old twins have been sharing a large bedroom in our two-bedroom apartment since the twins were about six months, right around my son’s third birthday. It had been the adult bedroom, which we were sharing with the twins. We moved them from arm’s reach co-sleepers to cribs at around 5 months and did some night weaning and CIO sleep-training before we moved the toddler in with them. (They went to sleep relatively easily and had been sleeping through the night before 4 months, but both started waking up and eating at least once a night after that regression).

I’ve been surprised so far at how well it’s gone. We’re lucky that our older son, E, is very into being a big brother and not particularly jealous of the twins. We bought him a new twin bed (the IKEA kind that can turn into a low platform bed when he’s a little older) and made a big deal about him picking out new bedding for his special bed.

Sarah Christian, a mother and sleep consultant in Pennsylvania, talks about the difficulty with one of her children when the family took in a foster child. The youngest boy, who is 4, had to move in with his older siblings. She talks about how they negotiated this transition :

After trying in every way we could think of to reassure him that he was still just as loved and that sleeping still was important, we decided to look for ways to take the fight out of bedtime. For a few months, we ended up letting him sleep on a mat on the floor in our bedroom. It let him find a way to still be close to us, while still keeping the boundary of letting him know that he did need to go to sleep at bedtime. Sometimes he would start the night in his bed in the room he now shared with his big brother and sister, then in the middle of the night he would tiptoe into our room to sleep on the floor. As long as he was quiet and didn’t wake us, we let him do his thing.

After a time, he became more comfortable with the new routines of life with four kids, and he started staying in his bed all night again. We would offer some encouragement/praise in the mornings when he did, and remind him of how good it felt to sleep all night in his bed and wake up feeling well-rested.

Tell us about your experiences with room sharing

Thanks to everyone who wrote in— there were so many great responses that I could not include them all. If your children share a room, let me what works and what doesn’t.

The post The Agony and Ecstasy of Room Sharing for Siblings appeared first on Craig Canapari, MD.

from Craig Canapari, MD https://drcraigcanapari.com/agony-ecstasy-room-sharing-siblings/

from https://www.marclefrancois.net/2019/03/24/the-agony-and-ecstasy-of-room-sharing-for-siblings/

[advrik]

A Farmer’s Recollection ~ Harvest Moon 20th Anniversary Celebration :: Part 3 [2000]

If you’d like to read the previous two parts, you can find them below: Part 1 | Part 2

Man it has been a trip writing up these recollections thus far. Digging up a bunch of memories that I hadn’t thought about in years. Good times, and the best hasn’t even come. The year of 2000 for me was probably my favorite year of all time as I have so many memories looking back at it and so many great things happened. 

It was also the year that my all-time favorite Harvest Moon game was released.

Spring 2000

Life was great. I was 12-years old, full of energy and living life by the second. I had a brand new camcorder, a copy of Harvest Moon 64 and I... was sharing a room with my 3 siblings. Granted it was the largest room in the house by far and we kept it divided up between the boys and girls but I was still lacking my own space. 

What little I could call my own was atop the brand new set of bunkbeds that our parents bought for us with their tax refund. They were made of metal and were pipe-based; The posts that made up the head and foot boards were capped off by little plastic caps that you could remove, granting you access to the inside which was wide enough to stick your arm down, so naturally I used this as a place to store things. Cramming an old shirt halfway down to create shelf of sorts, I began storing candy and other junk down there. I ended up stuff

At one point, there was travel ban between the four of us. We were restricting each other from venturing onto our beds. This came after I tried building a bridge between two ofthe beds. Obviously not my best idea.

My adventures in Harvest Moon 64 continued on. I was now at that point where I was done with the story and just hammering away at making a really nice looking farm and collecting recipes. But even though I had only owned Harvest Moon 64 for just a month, I was already beginning to feel the hype for an upcoming release that recently had made its presence known.

We were getting Harvest Moon on Playstation!!!

Though news was scarce and only a few screenshots were available at the time, I still remember how excited I was over this. I loved my Nintendo 64 sure, but my console of choice for that generation was the Playstation as it was where all the RPGs were. 

The two earliest screenshots released for the game were these below (Courtesy of HMFarm.com)

The boat screenshot in particular filled my mind with wonders and excitement; Were we going to be able to travel to the city at long last? Could we take it out and fish for deep sea fish? WHAT COULD IT MEAN???

I discussed the game and what new features it could bring to the table extensively with my sister. I say extensively, but she wasn’t nearly as interested in the games as I was.  One such subject I brought up - and I have this on tape even - was my hope for a butcher system where you could send your livestock off to have them turned into meat products that you could cook with. An idea that I just up until last year thought I’d get with Stardew Valley, but that’s not important right now.

Aboard the hype train, but considerably way more sane in how I was going about it. Partly in thanks to having just bought Harvest Moon 64 fairly recently. That, couple with everything else that was going to be coming out that year really helped.

Summer 2000

More and more info trickled out about the game over the coming months. Things like how it used the same characters from Harvest Moon 64, but changed their personalities around/who they were related to/what they did. The legendary fish, asking Harvest Sprites for help. All of it just sounded so cool, but nothing as cool as the new cooking system that was being implemented. No longer were the recipes that you earned from villagers just collectables. You could cook now, using various ingredients and utensils. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. 

It’s a huge shame that the cooking system would get progressively worse as the series went on, like many of the elements that made the series great. It has been slowly approaching dating sim levels with tacked on watered down farming systems.

I had such a blast through the summer of 2000. I would spend my days either hammering away with Harvest Moon 64, even going back to Harvest Moon GB for another playthrough. 

The music on the radio at the time was phenomenal and still something I listen to this very day, in my very own “Greatest Hits” collection called Definitive 2000, which currently boasts over 150+ songs; ranging to everything from NSync and Beastie Boys to Creedence Clearwater Revival and Saliva. It took years to build, but it fills me with incredible nostalgia every time I listen to it. Now I bet you’re wondering though why the likes of CCR would be a thing on the radio in 2000, well I’ll tell you: I wasn’t overly picky about what I’d listen to and I developed an ear for golden oldies thanks to my father, so I enjoyed listening to the older stuff as much as I did the modern hits. And yes, there’s a video game music folder too.

Pokemon was its peak, with the first movie hitting VHS earlier that year and the second movie featuring brand new Gen 2 Pokemon set to hit theaters that summer and the new installments in the games - Pokemon Gold and Silver Versions - later that year. 

Pokemon wasn’t the only ‘Mon on the street that year. Digimon had aired the previous August on Fox Kids, and it had gained enough steam to warrant a whole slew of toys, clothing items and cards. There was even a video game at the time: Digimon World on the Playstation. And in October of 2000, it was receiving its first movie, which was super cool. I enjoyed the Digimon anime far more than I ever did Pokemon’s, and with Digimon 02 starting that August - nearly a year after the series initially aired in the US - it was a good time to be a fan of little collectible monsters.

RIP Monster Rancher.

Another great event that happened that year was that we got an actual Japanese Godzilla movie in theaters, nationwide! It was the first time I had ever seen Godzilla on the big screen(not counting GODZILLA from 1998, which wasn’t the REAL Godzilla). I had been a Godzilla fan all my life, so that was some wild stuff seeing him on a huge theater screen after so long. I was mesmerized from start to finish. That night, after we got home from the theater we did some night swimming in our pool and recreated scenes from the movie with my nephew and sister.

Holiday Season 2000

Unlike with the previous release, I was more versed and knowledgeable on the gaming industry and was keeping up on release dates and whatnot. I guess in a way, this was also the year that gaming really became something for me that would amount to more than just a simple pass time. 

The month of November that year was pretty hype. Final Fantasy IX was launching early in the month and I already had that on my Christmas list to Santa, in addition to Resident Evil 2 and 3. I had in my possession  $60 from my grandmother which she gave use each year to pick something out for Christmas, which would then go under the tree - wrapped up - and not be touched until Christmas Eve.

Each trip out to Wal-Mart and K-Mart ended much in the same way as the trips for Harvest Moon 64. Finally, after a few failed attempts and locating it in stores, my father finally caved in and we made our first online purchase ever in the two years since we obtained a PC and the internet, and it was for Harvest Moon: Back to Nature. I mean, there could have been worse things that could have had as first purchases, am I right?

And so the great wait began once more. The game was in my possession in a way, but I had no patience in waiting for it to be delivered. Every day was grueling. I’d sit by and wait for the mail to come, watching the mail man or lady reach their hand out to the mailbox to place mail inside and hoping that within their grasp would be a small box or envelope.

Weekends devolved into me sitting in my room, on my bed, complaining and listening to music. I could only assume that it was the holiday season that was holding up the delivery as mail was quite frantic that time of the year and delays happened, but knowing that did not help me. I was impatient and wanted my game NOW, knowing that I couldn’t actually HAVE it once it did arrive because it had to be wrapped up and placed under the Christmas tree.

On a following trip to Wal-Mart one night, we walked back to the video games once again and guess what? It was there. Wal-Mart had actually stocked Harvest Moon: Back to Nature. But that wasn’t all they had, oh no! They also had Harvest Moon GBC2 as well. To say that I felt disappointed would be an understatement. I was crushed, knowing they had actually stocked it while I was waiting for MY copy to come in the mail, now a week and a half out since placing the order. The rest of that night was miserable.

It wasn’t until the first week of December. Nearly three weeks since placing the order, that my beautiful baby arrived in the mail. I was playing a rental copy of Majora’s Mask at the time (and failing miserably at it). It was the most beautiful thing, in its pristine jewel case beneath the cellophane wrapping. The beautiful booklet slash cover art screamed “Intense farming action” to the now 13 year old me as of the previous September. I begged and begged if I could just demo it slightly for that night and that night alone before wrapping it. I wanted to see what it played like, what the music was like and how the cooking system worked.

And do you know what I did after my mother caved and let me try it? I fired up my Gameshark with an unlimited money code and I CHEATED. It was the only way I was going to be able to experience what I wanted to experience within the short amount of time I was alloted. I achieved it too, upgrading my house and nabbing a few utensils in order to do some cooking. It was amazing two hours, and I almost missed dinner over it, but I eventually caved and wrapped the game up and placed it under the tree, which sat in the corner of the den beside the big TV.

The remainder of the month was delightful. I discovered Green Day as a new musical interest with the premiere of their ‘Minority’ music video. Outlaw Star began airing on Cartoon Network towards the end of the month, a show that would go on to become my all-time favorite. Towards Christmas we even got some snow, which was cool. That didn’t and still does not happen very often.

December 24th arrived and I spent the morning preparing for my oldest sister and my nephew to visit. Planning to roleplay some Dragon Ball Z and whatnot and show him the newest Harvest Moon game. 

Christmas day finally came and I was treated to a bunch of nice gifts. Including some more blank VHS tapes for my camcorder, Resident Evil 2 and 3. Some more Dragon Ball Z stuff, and of course, Final Fantasy IX. Even got the new Green Day album and a portable CD player! Sadly the fun and excitement of Christmas morning was cut short, as during the opening segment of Final Fantasy IX, I developed a killer migraine that put me out of commission for much of the day.

Once I recovered, I was up to my neck in RPG and farming goodness. An awesome year was topped off by an awesome Christmas. Final Fantasy IX, Harvest Moon, Outlaw Star, good music. Not to mention the awesome roast beef Christmas dinner my mother made that night.

And so concludes part 3 of my little trip into the past. Expect two more parts throughout the year, in slightly less detail. After Back to Nature, things started getting spotty with what I bought and played, even going for several years without picking up a single game. 

Thanks for reading!

[bernardbernardini-blog]

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