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eideticmemory · 5 years ago

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EVER SINCE NEW YORK | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 1! - for Sara [@bravadostyles], the ultimate muse.

SOUNDTRACK:

Empire State of Mind - Jay Z.

Animals - Maroon 5.

Dopamine - Børns.

Word Count: 4,731.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Spring, Freshman Year.

Tisch School of the Arts,

New York University.

New York City.

“You’ve got that face on,” Claire said.

“What face is that, Claire?”

“Your trademark ready-to-go-home face,” she giggled. “You tired?”

“Just a little,” you whispered, head resting on her shoulder, feet hanging off the bed. “Had a long day at rehearsal.”

“Ah,” she nodded. “Well, if you wanna go, we can go. I’ll walk you home.”

“No,” you shook your head, and placed your hand on her arm. “It’s fine. I’m having a good time.”

Soft music played through the small speakers on Jonathan’s desk, mixing in with the chatter of your friends. Everyone sat in different spaces around the room, some on the desk, some on John’s bed, and you and Claire rested on his roommate’s bed. Open solo cups of beer were scattered amongst the room. It was calm, chill, and then the door swung open.

“Yoooooo!” The entering voice rang, instantly earning a happy response from Johnathan, who hopped off his bed and ran towards the entrance.

“Gube!” John exclaimed, arms open wide to embrace his friend. He always got a little touchy-feely when he was tipsy. “Where the hell you been, man?”

“Consider my good time ruined,” you murmured to Claire.

“Be nice, [y/n],” she responded, patting your leg. “Everyone’s having a nice time, don’t start anything.”

“Me? Me? I don’t start anything, I never start anything. It’s him who starts it. That di—“

“Hey, [y/n],” Matthew greeted, taking a seat beside John. “Hey, Claire.”

“Hey, Gube,” Claire smiled. She gave you a gentle nudge with her elbow.

You rolled your eyes, “Hi, Matthew,” you reluctantly replied, refusing to make eye contact.

“Aw, c’mon, that’s all I get?” Matthew teased. “What’s wrong, sleeping beauty? You tired?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” you told him, finally looking over at him. He wore a white polo, paired with a busted pair of jeans and white converse with his mismatched socks poking out. On his chest sat his trademark gold chain, the medallion set in the center of his sternum.

“Might be past your bedtime,” he shrugged. “Really. Might be better if you just left.”

“Me?” You scoffed. “Why don’t you leave? We were perfectly fine before you got here.”

“Oh, God,” someone groaned. “Here they go.”

“John wants me here. I’m a little more fun than someone who falls asleep mid-conversation, so I can see why.”

“Matthew, why are you talking to me? Can you just pretend,” you waved your arms around. “Pretend there’s a wall here.”

“Don’t mind her,” Claire interjected. “She’s crabby because she hasn’t started editing her project yet.”

You gasped, “Why would you just announce that, Claire? I didn’t wanna be reminded of that.”

“[y/n], you’re gonna be fucked if you don’t get that shit done. It’s due next week.” Another friend told you.

You groaned, “Yes. I know that. But I’ve been killing myself practicing for the show every night. And when I finally sat down to start editing, I didn’t know how to work the damn software!”

“You don’t know how to work EasyEdit?”

“No,” you sighed. “I missed class that day. I tried to learn on YouTube, and that confused me even more. So, I have since then given up.”

“Hm,” John hummed. “You know who’s really good with EasyEdit?”

“Who?”

“Gube,” John answered. This prompted Matthew to lift his head up at astronomical speed, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “He taught me how to use it. He could help you, [y/n].”

“John...” Claire said.

“What, Claire?” John replied. “[y/n] needs help and Gube can help. I’m just saying.”

You cut your eyes over to Matthew, who was watching you, but he quickly turned away when you made eye contact.

“You’re not clever,” Claire shook her head. “You’re nosey is what you are.”

“Nosey?” You pipped, tapping Claire’s arm. “What do you mean nosey?”

“I mean, if you and Gube just...” John said. “I’m gonna say it - fucked - one good time, the two of you could get over this whole rivalry already.”

“And stop arguing all the damn time,” someone added. “The shit’s annoying.”

Your jaw had been dropped since the word ‘fucked’ was uttered. You looked up at Claire who gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I-“ You stuttered. “I...never say that again, John! Ever. Ew!”

“Ew?” Matthew exclaimed. “You’d be lucky if I tossed you a bone.”

Your jaw dropped even lower, stunned by Matthew’s words. “You arrogant son of a bitch,” you muttered. “And this is who you want me to allow near my final project?” You directed at John.

“Hey, if you don’t wanna fuck me, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” Matthew taunted, biting his lip and tilting his head.

“No. I don’t wanna fuck you! I also don’t want to spend any more time with you than I absolutely have to. So I will learn EasyEdit by myself.”

“Okay,” Matthew shrugged. “You’re not gonna figure that shit out in time, but fine, princess. Be stubborn.”

You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head in annoyance.

“[y/n], let Gube help,” Claire said. “You’re gonna drive yourself insane with that and the show coming up, plus finals? Just this once.”

You looked over at Matthew, instantly getting angry again. Hate is a strong word. It’s a very, very strong word. And you’d never use it against anybody. Ever. Except Matthew Gubler. That may sound a bit dramatic, so to clear up any confusion, here’s a composite list of every asshole, dick, bastard, bitch-ass move he’s made in one semester:

1. Broke your editing equipment trying to do magic tricks in class.

2. Didn’t apologize.

3. Called your last documentary “uninspired, dry, a little like a lullaby.”

4. Took the last spot for an internship over Christmas break.

5. Which he knew you wanted.

6. Refused to partner with you on a final project because “you can’t even get to class everyday.”

7. In front of everyone because he’s a jackass.

8. Told you that you were insane for majoring in film making AND ballet.

9. Proceeded to tell you that you look better in a leotard than a suit.

10. Fucked your roommate.

11. While you were in the room.

12. Insisted that Wes Craven is a better horror director than Tim Burton? Is he dumb?

13. Calls you ballerina barbie, short stack, princess, anything other than your actual name.

14. Won’t drop dead.

And, because you’re not going to let anyone treat you that way, here’s a list of things you’ve done in retaliation:

1. “Accidentally” stepped on his canvas.

2. 3 times.

3. Uploaded a video of you calling him a dick in place of his documentary.

4. Yes, he did play it for the class on accident.

5. Told him you didn’t want to be his partner anyway since he walks around stoned 24/7.

6. Laughed.

7. Told him he’d be a good ballerina. His tiny dick would fit perfectly in a leotard.

8. Fucked his friend. While said friend was supposed to help Matthew with his project.

9. Told him none of Edgar Allan Poe’s work was actually interesting enough for screen time. (He almost passed out, he got so mad.)

10. Told him his mismatch socks were dumb.

11. Consistently call him asshole, dick, jackass, or just Matthew. All synonyms.

12. Refuse to let him mess with you.

So, the idea of him helping you with your project, coming into your room, bothering you for hours on end, was a ridiculous thought. You should punch John for even mentioning it. Except. It wasn’t a bad idea.

“Hey, pants stay on,” Matthew said, giving you a smirk. “Boy Scouts honor.”

Everyone was looking at you. It made you queasy. Annoyed. Angry. And you couldn’t take it. So, you sighed heavily and cut your eyes towards Matthew. “Fine,” you grimaced. “Fine. Monday night. You will teach me how to use EasyEdit. And then we can all drop this.”

“Ah, success,” John cheered. “I’m not worried, though. Look at [y/n], she’s so innocent. She looks like she belongs on top of a Christmas tree. She does ballet for crying out loud. I doubt fucking is on her to-do list.”

“And on that note,” you pushed yourself off the bed. “I’m going to my room. Goodnight.”

Your room was just down the hall, and you showered, changed, brushed your teeth and got into bed in all of 30 minutes. Just about to fall asleep, you were disturbed by the sound of keys jingling in the door. Sloppy footsteps stumbled into the room, accompanied by silly giggles.

Thinking you were asleep, your roommate admired your sleeping frame, “Awwww,” she cooed. “Precious, precious, [y/n].” She walked over to you and rubbed your shoulder.

“You’re crazy to not wanna fuck Matthew,” she whispered, chuckling. “You don’t know what you’re missing, kid.”

And you stayed still, silent, pretended to snore. All while Claire crawled into her bed.

When Monday rolled around, you spent the entire day with a chip on your shoulder. Claire kissed the top of your head and insisted you’d be fine, that your project would be done by the end of the night and you’d be grateful for Matthew’s help. But she knew that was a dead cause in her heart of hearts. You both knew it’d be a miracle if Matthew and you made it through 15 minutes of editing.

When she left to go to a friend’s place, you changed into pajama pants, combined with a cozy cropped button sweater. You sat at your desk, and waited. You’d told Matthew to arrive at 7.

He got there at 7:59.

By then, you were laying in bed, pissed and upset that you’d actually been convinced to give Matthew a chance. He knocked on the door, and you answered with an attitude. “Go home, Matthew.”

“Don’t be like that, short stack,” he sighed, following you as you stomped into the room. “I got caught up. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah? What’d you get caught up with? A gram?” You spit.

He laughed, “Haha, so funny. No, I was not getting high. I was working on my own project. That I finished. Ahead of time. Can you relate, [y/n]?”

“Get out of my room,” you scoffed. “I asked you for one thing. One. And you couldn't even do that. You knew how important this project was to me, and you didn’t give a fuck. I wasted time waiting for you that I could’ve been working or rehearsing! I—Are you listening?”

Matthew’s eyes had been concentrated solely on your chest, “Are you wearing a bra?” He asked.

You took a step back, stunned, blinking rapidly as you searched around the room. “I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m just trying to find where the hell that came from?”

“It came from that itty bitty shirt you’re wearing,” he replied with a shrug. “Doesn’t really leave much to the imagination.”

“Stop staring at my tits!” You shouted, face turning red. “God, Matthew, I can’t stand to look at you right now. Just, leave. Please.”

He did not stop staring at your tits. Not for a very long time. But when he did, he had this look in his eyes. Like a wire had snapped. And he kissed you. Cupped your face in his hands, pulled you close, and kissed you. You pressed your hands against his chest, face contorting in shock and confusion.

You pushed him away, lips retracting with a sharp smacking noise. Saliva dripped from your lips, and you stood there, huffing and puffing like the two of you had just run a mile. “What the hell was that?” You snapped, your fingertips lightly touching your bottom lip.

He didn’t reply. He was just as speechless as you were. Speechless, and confused, and out of breath, and so, so pretty. He was so pretty. Has he always been that pretty?

You grabbed onto the hem of his shirt and pulled him back in, pressing your lips together in an aggressive collision. Matthew’s hand gripped onto your hair, his body pushing itself against yours in an eager attempt to get as close to you as possible. His other hand made its way to your waist, gripping onto your skin so hard, his nails left marks. Both his hands began to snake down your body, landing on the back of your thighs.

Very suddenly, Matthew scooped you up in his arms, yanking your feet off of the ground. You let out a breathy ‘oof’ as you found yourself perched in his grasp, your legs wrapped around his torso, your hands on his shoulders. He supported your weight so easily, all while sliding his tongue into your mouth.

He carried you over to your bed, where he abruptly dropped you onto the mattress, and looked down at you with a lustful grin. Standing beside the bed, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss you — slowly, with his hands reaching out to touch your body — but he didn’t. Instead, he placed his hands on your ribs and pushed your sweater up, over your breasts to reveal your chest.

“I knew it,” he whispered. “I knew you weren’t wearing a bra.”

Your breath caught in your throat, before you released it shakily. His lips wrapped around your nipple, wetting it with his tongue and applying light suction. A soft moan left your mouth, and you gripped onto his hair in ecstasy. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He sucked harder, to the point of pain, just to hear you make some noise. Any noise. When one nipple began to pulse between his lips, he moved to the other, leaving a trail of love bites between them.

The heat between your legs was suffocating, and you rubbed your thighs together for some relief. Matthew noticed this, and proceeded to stick his hands down your pants, fingers sliding underneath the band of your underwear. He smirked at how soaked you were already and rubbed your clit as he licked a trail up to your neck. You tightened your thighs around his hand, gasping at the friction and pulling at the bedsheets.

The sound caused Matthew to take in a sharp breath of air. His cock was pressed against the zipper of his jeans, and was getting to the point that it was excruciating. So, as he massaged your nerve, he undid his pants and pushed them down his legs.

He nibbled on your ear, and as you gave him a quiet moan, your eyes flickered down to look between your bodies. Flushed, and horny, and suddenly so desperate, you grabbed onto Matthew’s large erection and pressed the tip against your clit.

He grunted and pulled back to stare you in the eye, a sly grin creeping onto his face. He laughed, “I knew it. I fucking knew it. Innocent? Innocent, my ass.”

As you rolled your eyes at him, he kissed your lips softly, hands holding onto your thighs. You positioned his cock at your entranced and allowed him to press into you. He stood up straight, watching his cock disappear inside you, slowly, steadily, before he suddenly slammed into you. The sound of skin colliding on skin mixed in with your and Matthew’s moans, and he watched your head roll back in pleasure.

He licked his lips, smirking. And he did it again. And again. And again. Pulling out all the way and pushing back into you. Hard. The sensation struck your chest, and elicited vulnerable moans from you every time he pounded you. Matthew instantly began to speed his hips up, nails digging into your thighs as he pressed your legs open for him. His used all his strength to fuck you, your head knocking into the wall with every thrust. It was sloppy and messy and you couldn’t stop whimpering. Your eyes were screwed shut, and when you opened them again, the first thing you noticed with his chain. The gold medallion dangled in your face, Matthew’s lips pressed against your cheek.

Absentmindedly, you tangled your fingers in the chain, tugging on it as your volume increased. “Fuck,” you muttered. “Oh, fuck.”

He brought his hand up to your face, placing his thumb on your bottom lip. “Open your mouth,” he ordered, quietly, softly. And you did it without thinking. His thumb slid into your mouth, twirling around your tongue and stifling your moans.

He removed his hand and placed his thumb on your clit, wetting the skin with your own saliva. You let out a loud yelp at the new sensation, and a bubble instantly formed in your stomach.

Oh, no, not Matthew, you thought. Don’t let it be Matthew.

But with his cock and his hips and the way he kissed your neck and rubbed your sensitive nerve all at once. You came, you came with a fit of pornographic moans, trembling and writhing around on the bed.

And it was Matthew — the first guy to make you come. Ever.

He licked his lips as he watched you come undone beneath him, proud of himself — to the point of cockiness. Giving you a few more forceful pumps, he pulled out of you and released himself onto your chest, watching the fluid cover the hickies he’d left there.

He looked angelic on top of you, moaning, panting, swearing under his breath. But the moment he finished, he stepped back, fastened his pants and walked away. You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching him in a daze.

Matthew logged onto your computer, pressed a few buttons and then closed the laptop shut. Then he left.

However, the next day he sent you an email. Your project. Fully and perfectly edited.

Okay. So, that happened. They said it would happen and it happened. Didn’t necessarily make you hate Matthew any less, but it happened. It was good. You hated to admit it. And it was all you could think about. You couldn’t even touch yourself or hold your pillow without thinking of Matthew. It was bad.

Especially, given the fact that after the whole situation, he decided not to talk to you. At all. Not in class, not while hanging out with friends, not even to pick a fight. Complete and utter radio silence. He looked at you enough though. Not while you were looking at him, of course. So, as far as you knew, you were far off of his mind. But life had to go on. You had to focus on school, and on top of that, you were due to perform in NYU’s production of Swan Lake in less than two weeks.

You landed the main role of Odette, meaning for the next two weeks, you had to eat, sleep, breathe ballet. You practiced for hours on end, barely saw your friends, which gave you a good break from seeing Matthew.

Opening night rolled around and you were so nervous, you thought you might puke. Only a freshman, it was a miracle you landed the role in the first place, which meant your performance tonight was a make or break moment. Claire could tell you were sick to your stomach and tried to distract you by taking a bunch of pictures on her phone.

“Smile, pretty girl!” She beamed, the flashing going off in your face as you posed. “[y/n], you’re gonna kill it! I’m so excited! Aren’t you excited?”

“Yeah...” you whispered. “Deathly excited.”

“Aw, poor baby,” she swung her arm around your shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna be front and center, cheering you on. Just focus on me, okay?”

You smiled and nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Okay.”

Your body was on autopilot out on stage. The movements you’d practiced everyday, for hours and hours on end, just flowed. The lighting in the audience was dark, but you could just barely make out Claire’s figure under the soft hue.

It wasn’t until the finale, when you stood ready for your closing performance, that the lights switched to their full intensity and you noticed a hand resting on Claire’s shoulder. An arm resting behind her head. Someone whispering in her ear, making her laugh.

Matthew.

He was here. He was here and he was with Claire. He was with Claire and he was watching you. And it made your stomach feel weird. But then the music kicked up. So, you had to go. You fell into your dance, your rhythm and for some reason, you could not stop staring at Matthew.

Every twirl, you made him your focal point. Looking at him again, and again, and again. Until the lights went out.

Supporting ballerinas cheered you on as you walked offstage, throwing flowers at your feet and giving you applause. Your instructor marched right up to you, kissed both sides of your face and embraced you. It was a wonderful feeling, but right then, you were drained, emotionally, mentally, physically, you needed some rest.

You locked yourself away in your dressing room, taking a seat in the mirror and beginning to remove your tights. Pressing a makeup wipe to your skin, you jumped, startled by a knock on the door. You rose from your seat and walked to the entrance casually, expecting Claire to greet you.

 But you froze, as soon as you opened the door. Eyes glazing over the person in front you, your breath caught in your throat. “Matthew.”

“Hey,” he smiled. He looked you up and down — your naked legs, your breasts poking through the thin material of the leotard. “You...you were amazing tonight.”

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Bye.”

You attempted to close the door on him, but his put his elbow against the frame, stopping it in motion. “Whoa,” he exclaimed, pushing his way into the room. “What the hell is your problem?” He closed the door behind him.

“My problem is that I’m very tired, and still need to change, and greet everyone waiting for me. So, I don’t have time for this.”

“Time for what?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

You ducked your head down, “Nothing. Nothing. You need to leave.”

“Hey, hey, hey, ballerina barbie,” he mocked. “What’s your deal?”

“I don’t have a deal! I have nothing to say to you Matthew. Same way you have nothing to say to me.” You scrunched up your face in a frown.

“I...” he paused, laughing under his breath. “I never said I didn’t have something to tell you. In fact, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

You looked up at him — the gel in his hair, his black button down shirt flowing over his belt buckle, his dark eyes, his lips and the way they were pouting just a little. And like a magnet, you found yourself being pulled towards him. You jumped into his arms, hands on his face, and connecting your lips, mouths open, tongues touching.

Matthew held you up, moaning against your lips. “Mm,” you hummed. “Wait, what if someone comes in?”

Matthew thought quickly, hiking you up in his arms and shoving your back against the door. “Well, now they can’t get in, can they?” He mumbled, leaving kisses along your neck.

Your jaw dropped and you started to undo his belt, freeing his cock from his pants. He grunted against your skin as you stroked him, your head leaned back against the door, your chest heaving. You used your other hand to pull your leotard to the side, revealing your throbbing core.

Matthew smirked, letting you guide his dick to your entrance, and pushed his way into you swiftly. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck to keep yourself quiet. His thrusts were quick, rough, messy. He was much more vocal this time, making no effort to stay silent.

“Fuck,” he moaned in your ear. “F-fuck, I forgot how good your pussy is. Fuck.”

The feeling was mutual. For the past month, you’d be wondering what the hell about Matthew had you so stuck. So fixated on him. And this was it. He filled you up perfectly, could manhandle you however he wanted, and always, always made sure you came.

He fucked you harder when he noticed your orgasm nearing — your quickened breaths, frequent moans and whines, and your legs tightening against his torso. “Oh, my God,” you whimpered.

“Shit, are you gonna come?” He asked. “Good.”

Breathless, speechless, you stared into his eyes helplessly as your body began to crumble. All power left your body and you held onto his shirt for dear life. He gave you a small smile, and flipped his hair out of his face, looking down at his cock. He could pinpoint the exact stroke that did it. The one that sent you into a state of euphoria, sent your eyes rolling back, your body into intense shock.

You let out a long and weakened sigh as the wave washed over you, and Matthew continued to plow into you like nothing was happening.

“It’s so cool how your pussy tightens up when you come,” he chuckled. “It’s hot.”

You rolled your eyes at the sound of his voice, clawing at the back of his neck. His breathing became ragged and hoarse, and he had to pull out of you before he came. He jerked himself off until he exploded onto your clothing. And with you being dressed in all black, his stains stood out perfectly on your costume.

This time, he gave you a kiss on the cheek before he left.

The week after that was finals week. And neither of you could be bothered to reach out. Despite the not-so-subtle confession of bitterness and the very intense orgasms you shared, you and Matthew simply went back to not talking. Your friends thought it was strange, even commented that they missed the bickering. The two of you shrugged in response.

Most of your dorm room was in boxes by the time you finished your last final exam. Claire was slower to pack up than you were, considering she only lived an hour away, but she applauded you for your determination. The day Claire did start packing was the day before you left for the summer. The two of you spent the day getting everything cleared out, cleaned, squared away.

While the two of you sat on your bed, watching Netflix, a knock sounded from your door. Claire hopped up and headed towards the entrance, opening it with a grand smile. “Gube!” She shouted, instantly opening her arms for a hug. Matthew wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, carrying her into the room with a smile.

“Are you about to leave?” She asked him, holding onto his arms as he placed her feet back on the ground.

“Yeah, my mom’s here. So, I wanted to stop by and say goodbye,” he nodded.

“Aw, Gube, you softie,” she giggled. “[y/n], come say bye.”

“I can say bye from right here, Claire,” you replied. She gave you a look, and you felt compelled to get off the bed. So you did, you approached them, “Bye, Matthew.”

“Bye, shortcake,” he laughed. “Bye, Claire.” He pulled your roommate into another hug, while you stood there, crossing your arms in annoyance.

Matthew peeked at you over Claire’s shoulder. One hand rubbed her back and the other reached out to you, holding a small note.

Your eyes went wide as you looked at him, then the note, then Claire. You ripped the paper from his hand, and stuffed it into your pocket right away. He smirked at you, and turned his attention back to Claire.

“Hey,” he said to her. “Come back to my place, I want everyone there to show my mom I actually have friends.”

Claire chuckled and nodded, “Okay,” she shrugged. “Let’s go. [y/n], you coming?”

“Uh, no,” you shook your head. “I’m gonna keep packing, but I’ll text you later.”

“Okay,” Claire smiled, and she let Matthew whisk her away.

You sighed, and as soon as the door closed, you pulled the crumpled piece of paper from your pocket. You opened it up to reveal — not a meaningful message, not even a few words. Just one string of numbers, writing in his handwriting:

505.

[PART 2.]

#mine #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler fic #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler/reader #matthew gray gubler smut #college!matthew #esny

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logically-asexual · 4 years ago

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okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 3 years ago

Text

Continued thoughts on RE8

This was copied when I was making my DeviantArt journal about this. And ah, thank goodness, I don’t need to space out shit. Guess DA using numbers like that helps me out lol.

Hope the title is creative enough. But...the game has been out a month. But I'll tag spoilers anyway. So I got done with the game at 12:04 or well, I put my PS4 into rest mode to charge my controller. I'm gonna say three things.

Donna's death honestly fucked me up...and not in a good way.

Moreau is likely the best boss in the game. Maybe.

Shut your fucking hole is honestly funny.

Okay but yes, I finally played more of Resident Evil 8. And surprisingly, and I wanted to save and be done with the game after I got into the confrontation with Heisenberg.

Let me be honest with you all. Resident Evil 8 is a fine game. While I am still critical about it's story and what choices they made. The gameplay is pretty fine, and I think it's an overall nice or alright experience. While I don't think this is the best RE game ever. And I do think this game got too much of high praising. It was overhyped honestly. But I do feel like it becomes I guess more enjoyable as you play it.

Now I'm gonna go over me going through the sections I talked about real quick. And no, I didn't beat Heisenberg...I haven't yet.

Donna and Angie's section is maybe the best part of the game. Gonna admit when you go to House Beneviento, it's actually beautiful seeing a waterfall beside it. And while I do think the Silent Hill comparisons are...I'm no expert. I've only watched movie format of the first four Silent Hill games. But that part is where the game is scariest at. Despite me being annoyed by the puzzle stuff in one part of this game. Luckily, I feel great I decided not to look anything up.

But I guess it's the closest we'll get to a modern Silent Hill game. But I overall loved this part of the game. Despite I was being stupid and didn't put half of a child puzzle piece into a door for a few minutes. I will admit, I do feel like the puzzles are easier than usual than older RE games...which is kind of fine with me.

Also that giant fetus baby thing is fucking creepy. Thank God I wasn't devoured by it...but amused I was spooked by maybe the projection falling and bookcases moving. Which I dubbed Scooby Doo shit.

And...I'm sorry, I was not expecting Donna's death to go like that...like wow...despite what my friend told me about...wow...just saying, I am not selling Alcina Dimitrescu's or Moreau's remains to the Duke. And I'm sure as Hell not selling Angie either. Besides, I get a lot of money in this game already. Seriously, I'm loaded.

It's just silly like...I didn't want to go to Donna's house first but I had to. Will admit, I do feel like she was underdeveloped. And that could go as well to maybe the other lords. And I did go back to Donna's place to get her treasure...where I fought this fucking giant with an axe...and I'm really interested in who the Hell is that Claudia Beneviento. Considering she died very young.

Moreau's section was pretty fine. But I think along with Alcina's section, was a pretty nice place. While Donna's section seemed a bit more simple, it was more focused on, creeping the shit out of me. Yet I was still terrified being in Castle Dimitrescu because it was my first time...and may still could be scared if I replay the game again after I finish it.

Will admit, I was annoyed I got killed by Moreau three times in the water. I think the reason I liked his part because his boss felt very classic Resident Evil. Maybe almost like Nemesis when he's fully unleashed in the original RE3. I feel like Moreau was pretty unique. Despite at first...kind of wonder if I do want him to look more a Gilman creature. Because he's likely inspired by that those kinds of films.

Also I will admit this, him popping up as a huge fish at first spooked me. Continuing on, I have been going to wells and using the crank to collect shit. Which got me to collect Alcina's golden statue of herself. Which yes...is very narcissistic of her haha! Along with the treasure from Donna...and I forgot to mention I've finished those first three...weird ball games...

Gonna admit, I strangely feel reminded of Sonic Spinball and those pinball sections in the Sonic series. I sound stupid saying that. They are interesting puzzles. I'm just glad and to me personally, Alcina's ones was the most tricky.

So after I beat Moreau, I got the Wolfbane, which was the pistol I was very interested in and it killed that weird beast(Is it like a dog turned Lycan dog or something?)...in one shot...this is maybe the strongest gun in the game. Holy shit, Barry Burton would be proud.

But yeah, I went through the Lycan's den. Turns out, Heisenberg wasn't there. Also the grenade launcher is great to use too. And seriously, the amount of Lycans heads I've blown up with mainly a normal pistol amazes me. Holy crap, I killed a shit ton of them, so many heads blown up.

After getting that last flask and finally opening a way to Heisenberg's factory, I finally get to meet the fella. To be honest, I'm not huge on Karl's voice. I've heard it before, and I know the voice actor got inspiration from Nicholas Cage...but I just imagine Karl's voice to be different. Maybe Cage when his voice is higher pitched, but I forget. Maybe if I get used to it, I'll be fine with it. Here's one of the more amusing lords and...really, the four lords and a lot of other stuff is why I like this game.

What I hate is of what later on happens and...the future of these main games.

I also wanna say that the part I saved on is when I have to escape the factory. But holy shit, how the fuck can the Duke get into these fucking places or whatever. At least the Merchant made sense and whatever else...I'm rambling on. I just find it amusing that this huge character can get into certain places that would maybe seem impossible or not.

But yeah...I'm very likely close to the end of the game. Played a couple of hours. Maybe 3 to 4 or so. While I am...critical of this chapter of the RE franchise. There are things I genuinely liked. I just strangely hate...that this is the final product and we're gonna have to live with it. This is the RE game people are making memes about...I shouldn't be very excited for the new movie reboot this year...but that's what I'm more excited for.

The 25th anniversary of Resident Evil has been going good. Despite my feelings on this new main game.

I remember now, I feel like when I finish this game and I be more detailed with my criticisms. I've heard from a good friend of mine that Under The Mayo has similar opinions to us of how we feel about Resident Evil 8...yet before I decided to listen to the usual 1 hour version of the RE8 save room theme. Which is this.

Resident Evil 8: Village Save Room 1 Hour Extended - YouTube

A day ago, he posted a video that has this thumbnail and the title of how God Of War ruined Resident Evil...I'm really wondering how the fuck is that possible. And my usual bitching is about the fact we hardly see our old characters anymore(Such as Jill who isn't such a big focus anymore), some characters are not better expanded upon or whatever else, and the future...I'm just not interested. Despite I've said to a friend I could be interested in seeing how it goes...

I just explained a little of what I had problems with. I'm just gonna say Capcom needs to be a bit more ambitious and meaningful with their storytelling now. Which may sound stupid...I just want better for this series. And when mentioning that upcoming movie. If we ever get a movie adaption of RE7 and 8, ESPECIALLY 8, I want that to be a loose adaptation and some shit changed.

#GeekGem Rambles #resident evil #resident evil 8 #re8 spoilers

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alittledizzy · 5 years ago

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Hi, Mandy! The podcast with Phil is up! When you have time to listen to it, do you think, you could share some of your thoughts with us? Maybe even do some time stamps with commentary? Like, of course no pressure, but it would be awesome if you decide to express your opinion on the matter ;))) Have a nice day 🌷

My main thought: I love how much more comfortable Phil is talking about his anxiety and things that make/made him anxious now. I’ve never heard him dig in quite so much on how his brain works with insecurities and how intense he can be about editing and how that can cause him to mentally spiral with anxiety.

Besides that, I don’t think he said much here we didn’t already know, but I sure as heck enjoyed listening to him say it all again.

Timestamps!

2:30 - Phil would have shown up in pajamas if he’d known it was for a podcast. 2:37 - Interviewer asks Phil when he first realizes he was creative. “I think I just came out of the womb and did jazz hands in the hospital.” 3:00 - His parents gave him a video camera for Christmas when he was eight and he made little friends with his friends. He talks about the horror film he and his friends made when they were ten (that he’s made youtube videos about). He learned to edit then by pausing a video cassette tape and putting the footage in and editing in real time, before he could do it on a computer. He doesn’t know where that creativity came from, but he’s been making videos as long as he’s been able to make videos. 3:51 - He used to watch movies hundreds of times. He wore out the Gremlins VHS tape. He wanted to make things like that, or his own version of that entertainment. 4:05 - Gizmo the Gremlin was his mentor. No, he didn’t have a mentor, but he’s thankful to his parents for letting him do it. If he’d done his homework they’d just say, “Go for it. I’ll get you a video camera if you want to make videos.” He acknowledges that not everyone had that means of doing it, though now everyone has a phone and anyone can do it if they wanted to with a phone recording. 4:40 - When he was young his family was mostly his audience, though they let him play the horror film he made when he was ten at school. “I think having that audience reaction, I was like oh people are actually laughing and enjoying it.” 5:20 - He started youtube because he was impressed by the fact that anyone, anywhere can make something and have the chance to broadcast yourself. He saw people like Smosh and LonelyGirl15. He liked watching people’s lives all over the world. 6:01 - He got two comments on his first video and couldn’t believe it. One from Australia and one ‘somewhere else’ saw it and cared. 6:39 - He had imposter syndrome at the first Vidcon he went to. He went into a party and thought he shouldn’t be in the same room as people like Smosh. It was a learning experience. 6:58 - He found it crazy that a hundred people would come to a panel or meet and greet to see him and it made him feel like this was real, it was really happening. 7:32 - The interviewer asks him how he’s maintained trust with the audience and his answer is, “You’d have to ask the audience, they’re the ones that are still watching. 7:40 - He thinks being himself in his videos has help, he hasn’t had the need to reinvent himself or become somebody else. He feels like his audience are more friends than fans. 8:26 - "You have your long term collaborator, Dan Howell-” “Yes.” 8:27 - He finds it refreshing to collaborate, especially in comedy videos. He thinks he works well in an improvisation style environment, like on the gaming channel. It helps to have someone to laugh and have comedy banter with. It also helps to have someone else with creative ideas so you aren’t in your own head all the time. 9:20 - The interviewer asks about the transition from youtube to the stage shows. It was a big leap - they had ten crew members and it was a learning curve. He’s quite a shy person so going on stage in front of 2000 people was far out of his comfort zone compared to making videos alone. “It was kind of… fighting off my anxiety and thinking, I can do this, these people are here to see me for a reason.” 10:33 - They interviewed potential crew members (about a five minute interview) and they needed to be other creative people and understand the internet. They needed people who understood what they were making, and also wanted people that had a sense of humor and knew how to have a laugh. 11:30 - Specifically talking about TATINOF: they were trying to turn everything people loved about their youtube videos into a stage show, with a narrative flowing through the whole thing. They wanted it to be bigger than anything anyone had seen from youtubers before. 12:12 - You will not be seeing Phil on Strictly any time soon. 12:45 - TATINOF was about 70% scripted but it got changed up based on what the audience were like or what the reactions were. American found different jokes funny than Sweden and they learned to change and mold it. 13:09 - During TATINOF learned he can actually do scripted stuff, because there were scripted sections. He used to say he can’t act but he thinks he did okay with the scripted stuff in TATINOF. 13:52 - Section about the Radio 1 show. It started with him and Dan collaborating as youtubers with Radio 1, and the BBC decided to give them a show. He specifically says that Youtube say how many good comments and views youtube videos get, and that’s how the show came about. It started freelance and then they got the main show. 14:40 - With the radio show, because it’s live you really have to be aware of what you’re saying. There’s an art to working the desk with the music in the background and when to dip it down. They were learning on the go and it was terrifying. For the first three months he’d wake up in the middle of the night with night sweats and have nightmares about saying something wrong. He had panic dreams about the radio, but they got into a flow and he thinks it was an entertaining and innovative radio show. He always likes something that pushes the boundaries of the technology. 15:25 - He shades how 'old school’ the radio is because they had to play music videos off of dvds. If a dvd skipped or broke then the show would just go off air and they’d have to improvise. It was good preparation for doing stuff on stage. 15:55 - He talks about the stage show in America that lost power and improvising it in an unplugged way. He was relieved when people were happy with it. 16:38 - He thinks there are things traditional media could take from digital media: free flowing, less restrictions. On the radio ideas had to go through about ten processes. “By the time you’ve gone through these ten steps of checking, the fun of the creativity is gone about. It’s not about breaking the rules, it’s about trying to be more improvisational and spontaneous when you can. Not everything needs signing off by five people before you tell a joke.” 27:49 - He likes that youtube is more fresh and reactive to pop culture. It feels fresher than television - cites people doing the floss dance on Netflix shows now. It was funny a year ago, and it was written a year ago, but it’s not as funny now. 18:35 - The positive to traditional media is more people bringing experienced voices to the table helping you develop something. Youtubers know a few things instinctively but someone that’s been a scriptwriter for ten years can completely blow your mind. 19:25 - He would like to think the main thing his audience values is authenticity, but he actually thinks it is accessibility that they value more. He’s not like a movie or pop star. 20:14 - He’s fourteen years in and still tries to think of videos that would make him laugh or he wants to watch, but he’s trying to branch out some this year. “Trying new things.” He doesn’t think there’s any shame in seeing someone else’s video and thinking of doing his own take on that. 21:20 - He looks to Safiya Nygard for inspiration - he likes that there’s so much research and planning in her videos. Even if it’s a silly video she has all the facts and goes to all the videos. He got to meet her the last Vidcon and it was nice to hang out with her. 21:56 - He’s inspired by traditional media, too. For a long time it was Scot Pilgrim vs. the World, he used to think if he was going to make a video that was it. He starts talking about editing here and goes in pretty hard on what editing means to him over the next few minutes. 22:50 - He’s good at suspending his disbelief. It’s a good sign if you’re lost in a world. When he saw 1917, he forgot he was in the cinema. 23:13 - “It’s more when I’m watching my own videos, I can’t - I find it really hard to watch it as a viewer. I find I’m so critical of myself and I just see the edits and I’m just like, oh that could be different, that could be different. And even if after I’ve uploaded it I’ll get a text from my friend and they’re like 'oh that was so funny’ but in my head I’m like oh but I could have cut two seconds off that bit. So I think I should learn, and other people should learn, not to be so critical of yourself. Because there can be a point where - I made a video in December and I was looking back at the footage and I was like, I can’t upload this, this isn’t - this isn’t good enough. But then I just persevered with the editing and it turned out to be really funny. But that self doubt was creeping in like, people aren’t gonna watch this, people aren’t gonna like this. So I need to work on that a bit and think - if people are enjoying my videos I should be able to enjoy them as well.”24:11 - It’s hard not to be numbers obsessed because youtube tells you as soon as you sign in what’s performing well and not. You don’t want to get that feeling when you first log in to your channel, and you can’t really avoid it. “You’ve got to see it as a learning thing rather than an everybody hates me thing.” 25:42 - Once a video is out in the world, he lets it go. He doesn’t obsess over it. He’s more critical in the editing process and actually pressing go rather than after the fact. 26:08 - He’s particularly proud of his coming out video because of the unexpected reaction. The video production wasn’t incredible but he’s proud of the message. 26:40 - They ask him how he’d have felt in 2006 knowing where he’s at now. “No. I’d probably run away.” 26:47 - “I was so shy and anxious, I couldn’t even like… phone for a hairdressers appointment. I was that nervous about public interaction and talking and stuff like that. So the fact that I’ve got to this level now where I can go on stage or talk on a panel it’s just like - it’s kind of mindblowing looking back at where I was. I’m proud of myself for that.” 27:15 - He’s ready to sink his teeth into a big new project, to do something new that’s very Phil and his own thing. He’s obsessed with interactivity. He was making interactive videos ten years ago with youtube annotations and he thinks now broadcasters and traditional media is more accepting of that technology and narrative structure. 28:15 - He pitched one interactive thing that didn’t work out. He shouts out Complex and also Markiplier’s interactive youtube original. 29:02 - It’s good to get feedback on an idea that’s rejected. It would be weird if everyone said yes all the time. He goes a bit in depth here on potential reasons why a project may be rejected and not taking it as an attack or a big negative thing. 30:33 - If he made a film he’d write it, not be the star of it. He’s excited to see where that creative process goes. He’s written a few short stories and tried a long form script. He’s a control freak so he won’t release it until it’s perfect. 31:03 - He sees Youtube as his work, and scripting and pitches as a hobby. He’s not under a deadline with writing and can enjoy free flowing creativity, unlike youtube where he needs to make a video every week. 32:00 - Discussion about the illustrator they had for TABINOF, who worked on The Mighty Boosh.33:00 - When ask him for one thing he’s inspired by at the moment, he says Bandersnatch and talks about it a bit. He still has Scott Pilgrim and Gremlins in his heart, though. “Gizmo’s the one.”

#anon asks #phan asks #Anonymous #long post

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outofcontextsimsmachinima · 5 years ago

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Please god do you have recommendations on the best series to watch

Some of my personal recomendations that I can list from the top of my head, I will be writing a lot of text below so hold onto your horses.

My Life- NatalieFirexx

Still running to this day and in its 12th season. So amazing to see the growth over the years. The first seasons are so funny in a sense of knowing a little Christian emo kid made them, but later seasons have developed into such an interesting story with beautiful visuals, incredible cinematography and relationships that you end up caring about so deeply. Every season has a new storyline to follow and it's always so wild remembering all that's happened in its 10 year run and thinking up what else is to come. Though season 12 is said to be it's final season and I look forward to seeing what Natalie has in store for us after the finale.

The story of My Life follows the Andrews family and their friends in everyday shenanigans, you know, the usual: teen pregnancy, kidnapping, vampires, murder, identity theft, angels, ghosts, hacked kids and love.

(There's also a My Life Abridged voice acting series of season 1 currently in the works, now at episode 5)

Smooth Criminal - SaltPepperSims1408

I always have fun rewatching this. Its only 2 seasons long and once again, a sims series that evolved over it's run. Following Abby as her life goes from normal (if you can call your illegal scientist parents experimenting on criminals in your basement normal) to having visions of her parent's test subject's past and joining his gang where hes the leader and battles a disease that gives him 10x the strength and intelligence of a regular human being. Catch is, this genetic disease is rare and makes you go insane. Most people with it end up insane by 30.

A series with a lot of guns, a badass female main protag, death, once again, teen pregnancy (which will be a common sims series theme), fun dream/vision sequences and in my opinion has a great sense of humour.

SaltPepperSims1408 also has a highly recommended voice over series (though incomplete) titled Apokalypsis, a group of young adults/teens trying to survive in an apocalypse.

CINDER - GrayLeeStudios

Based on the book CINDER by Marissa Meyer. Cinder is a beautifully made voice over series, great visuals, wonderfully told it's story, though it is incomplete at 5 episodes, each running 10-18 minutes. Loosely based on the original Cinderella story but in a futuristic Beijing, adding robots, a colonization on the moon and a deadly plague that has affected the Emperor.

The protagonist is the mechanic, Lihn Cinder. Despite how well known her work as a mechanic is, she is looked down on for being a cyborg and is presented for plague research where she and Prince Kai become closer.

Y O U T H - 1998sims

YOUTH is a retelling of Youth, also a sims series by the same creator that reached its second season before discontinuing. Already a series that dealt with real life issues and involved a lot of representation in its characters. YOUTH is a different experience with all new characters, even more representation and everyone still feeling real in a way where their identities don't define them but are in NO WAY erased at all, like they're real people. When comparing the two series you can see the similar storyline but now its so much fresher and with new characters, their decisions in these situations change. Follows the story of multiple characters in their teen years and learning to deal with being a teen or in some cases having to make adult decisions despite that. Currently up to episode 5 but there is still so much more to come.

1998sims is also the creator behind Avoiding Fate, Its Complicated (currently not available online) and the most iconic series that I HIGHLY suggest you watch; My Sims 2 Emo Teen Pregnancy Kidnapping Story

SOUP - SimFilm

This sims 3 voice over series is brand new, as of this month, with one episode released but I'm already in love with it. It has this deadpan sense of humour I can get behind and I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes. It appears the episodes will be short and sweet but I really don't mind at all.

Our protagonist, Harris Gold, alphabetizes his life's misfortunes like a can of alphabet soup.

I quote "looks pretty decent on the outside, but when you open the can, you'll simply want to kill yourself"

The filming is wonderful, I love the voice actors and how well they play their roles, the story so far is fun and silly but deals with really strong issues other teenagers might have experienced growing up. Kind of like laughing the pain away and I adore it.

Raison D'etre - Cornymio

I haven't watched a lot of sims 4 machinima if im to be honest (since life to death stories are so rampant on YouTube at the moment and I'd rather just avoid them) but this series was very well made. Only 2 episodes but the voice acting is amazing, the sims custom animations are wonderful and at times the sims can be almost perfectly lip synced to the voices. Has an indie film vibe that I adore, very calming and I adore the camera work. This is a revamp of the creators old Sims 3 series by the same title.

Reine Reynolds enrols herself into a new school, here we meet a variety of students who are all relatable in one way or another with different relationships amongst themselves. A nice watch and won't take long to get through.

Marry Me! - Tickled007

This is actually a companion piece to Marry You by Maot Productions. Marry You has more episodes and progressed it's story much further but personal preference I like Marry Me!'s characters and humour better. Not a fault to the creators though, since I believe they wrote both stories together and I do still recommend you go watch Marry You as well, just my personal taste. I also watched this very recently which is probably why it's on my mind rn.

Marry Me! Is a 2 episode long (so far) voice over series that's quite high energy, it's about a loud "bitch" fashion designer called Serafie and a "pushover" called Carmion. Two opposites that somehow cross paths and after a money hiccup, Seraphie demands that Carmion marry her. I love how silly it is, very kdrama inspired. If you can get past the overused swooping sfx in episode one (which drove me insane but will go away in episode 2) I think it's super enjoyable.

Tickled007 is also the creator of Passcode Unknown, Too Popular and And... Obvious.

I feel it unfair not to mention Maot Productions other creations either since they were also a big part of the Marry Me! Marry You project. They created Sense Me Not!, Corrupted Souls, Cruel Temptation and Retribution

Other simmers and their series that I highly recommend but realise this ask is going to get extremely long

EkolarasMagnum

Their series tend to have this grungy highschool feel to them but I get behind it. They're known for their more interesting sims style, some people love it, some people hate it but it shouldn't get in the way of the interesting stories. I used to adore their work so much as a teenager!

- Advocated

- Strangers

- Volatile

PumpkinsAtTheDisco

Made a variety of sims series based on books (before these same books were made into films) such as the Hunger Games. This creator is incredibly talented from filming, writing to composing their own music. You can really see their improvement over the years too. I love their work.

- The Hunger Games

- Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children

- Dimension 17

- Post Icarus

- Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

StarsToShinex

Their concepts are fun and they have good voice actors. Their filming and editing is nice but their work does have an anime feel if that's more your taste.

- Spotlight

- My guardian

- My guardian- the next chapter

- Seeking Faith

- The last day

MajesticFilms

Their aesthetics are lovely, they make a lot of visually pleasing machinima. I admire their editing.

- Paper Boats

- Arsonist's Lullaby

- Sounds of Silence

- Machinima playlist

ViNtAgELovv11

Still works on videos now and I adore their work, been around for 10 years and only continuing to improve. I believe their most known series wou lkd have to be wasteland but please check out their newer works too!

- Scum City

- Wasteland

- Wonderland

- Runaway

- ROADS

There are so much more and i might make a pt.2 or something along those lines one day since this ask is getting long. But I also have a list of simmers and series on my navigation page if you want to search through some more works.

#ask #asks #mikuofficial #recommendations

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the-citrus-scale · 5 years ago

Note

I respectfully disagree. Your articles have become increasingly negative over the last few months, as if you are discouraging fan creators, making them feel guilty for loving their fandom. You go looking for problems, in a fandom. I take issue with your statement that you are the only outlet that is positively supporting fan creators. You’re a bit full of yourself in that regard. You are definitely NOT the only outlet that supports those of us who create for the fandom community.

We’d like to apologize to our readers for this exceptionally long post.

We literally know of no one else who interviews fanfiction authors and treats them with any sort of respect. If there are other sites or communities, please let us know. We’d love to hear about them! As for the increasing negativity, see below for the actual statistics. You’ll see that your arguments do not hold up.

6 weeks ago

We began our Relaunch Week as we transitioned from The Lemon Magazine to The Citrus Scale.

“How Stranger Things Ruined My Life”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): The title is clearly a joke. It listed all the wonderful ways that the Duffer Brothers and Shawn Levy have taught us that women are allowed to demand more of the media and entertainment they consume.

“Chaotic Neutrals: The Walking Dead Edition”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): For the purposes of this exercise, we’re going to say that all critical articles automatically equal negativity. We DO NOT feel this way, nor does any news and media organization, but we talk more about that at the end of this post.

Then we posted a game, a picture of the prize to win that day, and another game the next day.

“Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More?”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): Well, we will preface it by saying that it’s not at all positive if you are a white guy in entertainment who refuses to tell any story that isn’t their own and continually puts women down. If you, Anon, are one of the fanboys who whined and cried when Jodie Whittaker got cast as the new Doctor then #sorrynotsorry. We won’t apologize for calling people out for oppressing minority groups. Not now. Not ever.

“In Defense Of… Self-Inserts”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It is literally “in defense of” self-inserts and authors who write them. The only thing remotely critical is at the end when we stay if you don’t like this type of work, you aren’t obligated to read it. As an overall tone, it is positive.

“When A Villain Can’t Be Redeemed: A Study In Severus Snape”

Tone: Negative

Note(s): We do not hide our disdain for Severus Snape and his routine abuse of children.

“Adapting Comics For The Screen”

Tone: Informational (Neutral)

Note(s): Again, the only thing that could be considered critical is at the end when we discuss oversaturation in the Marvel fandom and how exhausting such a catalogue of works can be, and that reader/viewer fatigue is very real and you are allowed to take a break if you need it.

“The Fight Against Fiction Censorship”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We discuss how you, as the reader, should be curating your own experience and how characters are allowed to be morally gray. That these characters do not and should not be automatically deemed as representative of writers’ actual views on sensitive subject matters.

“Get Fridged, B*tch!: The Short Lives of Women in Supernatural”

Tone: Highly Critical

Note(s): We discuss the fact that in the show Supernatural specifically, most women are killed for the character development of their male counterparts. We point out that this is not okay and leads to the accepted convention that this is good writing and not, in fact, incredibly lazy and sloppy.

Then we did six posts, in a row, on our Instagram that were silly, funny, or light-hearted, but we’ll chalk those up to neutral even though they’re definitely more positive than anything. We did Signs as Quotes, Kiss. Marry. Kill., The Alphabet Game, and a D&D alignment chart with characters.

So, at the end of our relaunch week, we were at sixteen (16) informational or neutral, four (4) critical or negative, and three (3) positive, with only one being truly considered negative and not simply critical.

5 weeks ago

We began our Pensacon 2019 Convention Coverage. We featured three (3) cosplayers we met at the convention, linked their profiles, and not one of our questions was negative. Again, we won’t add them to our positive list, but they definitely count as us being supportive. We know we’re not the only who interviews cosplayers in a positive fashion, but there can always be more. We also included four (4) fanfiction authors. There were other informational, infographic, or neutral articles (like interviews), interspersed between these articles:

“Pensacon 2019 Intro Review” and the “Pensacon 2019 Wrap-Up Review”

Tone: Positive (x2)

Note(s): We had a blast at Pensacon, and will be returning next year as well. All our coverage was overwhelmingly positive.

“Using Fandom To Teach”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): The article states fun ways that you can include fandom in the classroom to help engage the students so they don’t automatically tune you out. It was also a small summary of the panel we saw at the convention, which is clearly referenced. However, all the ideas were original or credited appropriately.

We also had a TWD Trailer Reaction Video. As far as we know, there’s nothing to be seen as negative (unless we were talking about Rosita). If you really, really tried, you could count it negative though, since every single thing we said it in wasn’t nice to all the characters. For those keeping score, we’re at twenty-eight (28) informational or infographic, six (6) positive, and four (4) critical or negative.

4 weeks ago

We began our Marvel-themed month here. Honestly, we’re getting tired of linking most things, so here’s how Marvel month stacks up.

There were eighteen (18) informational articles or infographics, eleven (11) interviews, four (4) playlists, and two (2) games. This leaves us with thirty-five (35) neutral articles.

“AUs Becoming Original Fiction”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): This article featured information on how to possibly transform an AU fanfic into original fiction, if you so desire. It included examples of popular fiction that had done just that.

“Faithfulness in Adaptations”

Tone: Neutral

Note(s): We list the ways why it’s okay to like both and that one isn’t superior to the other.

“Being First Doesn’t Mean Going It Alone”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It was written shortly after seeing Avengers: Endgame and was a glowing recommendation of the movie due to the girl power scene. However, upon further reflection we realized that thirty minutes of representation in an almost three hour movie isn’t as good as we thought it was and several other things caused the movie, as a whole, to miss the mark. As it relates to this article, though, it was positive.

“The MCU and Buffet-Style Representation”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We criticize Marvel’s lack of representation and how they are continually putting down any fan interpretation that sees a character as homosexual. We do end it on a positive note by saying we’re going to hold out on passing final judgment since they are promising to do better soon. We’re middling at best here, so we’ll say critical.

“In Defense Of… Steve Rogers’ Happy Ending”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We simply state that Steve is allowed to be happy and that him being miserable shouldn’t be his only real characterization or arc.

“The Importance of Fan Service”

Tone: PositiveNote(s): This one is about the importance of fans feeling like valued members of their community by original content creators, and how it only adds positively to the overall experience of fandom.

“Rule 34: The Rise of Super Sex”

Tone: Informational

Note(s): It doesn’t take a stance either way regarding how we, as an organization, feel about this practice, though it could be seen as more comedic since there are many, many sex puns.

“The Squick Factor: WinterPrincess”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We break down a controversial ship in the Marvel fandom and explain why it shouldn’t be seen that way, based on the arguments given from inside the Marvel fandom itself.

“Trope Scope: The Isolation of Being Super”

Tone: Informational

Note(s): We explain the lonely superhero trope and how to use it in your own writing.

“All the Feels: Standing Up For What’s Right”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It’s called ‘All the Feels’, so… yeah.

“Get Fridged, B*tch!: Marvel Edition”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): Again, we take a stance against using women as plot devices to further male character development. Marvel has a lot of characters, so it was easy to come up with examples. We’d like to note that we defend Stan Lee in this one as he wasn’t for fridging Gwen Stacy.

“You Need To Calm Down: And Other Advice From Taylor Swift”

Tone: Highly Critical

Note(s): We wrote an article in response to another from Hypable.com, where we defend binge-watching television, new or old, and list all the ways it isn’t a bad thing. As always, the responses and points in this article were well-researched and thought out.

“Women Behaving Badly: Why the Movie Hustlers Is Important”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): We can’t wait to see this movie and talk about why showing women doing the same thing as men, even if it isn’t prim and proper, is a good thing and helps us gain more equality in entertainment and in representation.

“#NoHomo YouTube Video”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We take Marvel to task over Avengers: Endgame and we still have no desire to apologize for it. If you’d like to know why, please watch the video linked above. We can also send the talking points, if that makes it easier to follow.

So, at the end of six weeks, which brings us to today, we were at sixty-three (63) informational or infographic, twelve (12) positive to ten (10) critical or negative.

If you came to a different conclusion, we’d love to hear your reasons as to why. However, all we ask is that if you want to make accusations about our overall tone, you be able to back it up, as we did. It seems to us, and anyone paying attention, that we are overwhelmingly informational first. The problem seems to be that any time we are remotely critical of a character, original content creator, or a fandom, we are marked as negative. Which, frankly, is not true. We are a news and media organization. We are allowed to interpret things in a light other than positive. We will continue to bring our readers as much fandom-related content as possible and we promise to be truthful and to never sugarcoat anything. We also pledge to be respectful always.

If there are any other concerns, we urge you to send them to our ask box as this anon did. Understand, though, that critiquing us does not mean we will blow up, act foolish, or remain anything other than responsible fandom members. We have receipts to back up everything we do, so don’t assume we’ll take accusations lying down either. We welcome all criticism and will apologize where necessary. This just wasn’t one of those times.

#ask the citrus scale #informational first

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almaasi · 6 years ago

Text

reaction post typed while watching JIBcon videos (part 2 of ?)

Cockles panel

in which Jared is abusive to Misha :C :C :C (and Jensen is maaaaybe angry about Destiel not being canon??? whoa)

previous post HERE

03:51

how long’s it been, 3 days? 4? idk but HI LET’S WATCH MORE

i was 11 minutes in, after 2 hours. oh boy

just rewatching the bit where the fan asks if they can sip the apple juice and i just realised jensen said “no!!” at the same time misha nodded and said “yep”

aaaaand jensen watches misha drink before he licks his lips and drinks too *u*

03:56pm

misha: “supernatural the series will be ending, it’s been announced, but we will be doing a puppet show in jensen’s backyard... for another ten seasons”

i would pay money

misha’s joking but i would pay money

and jensen’s mouthing “oh my gaaahd” at misha bc he did not expect 500 people to cheer that

jensen: “THAT’S BRILLIANT”

yes

yes it is

“no seriously i think we’re gonna do that”

i would legit love that pls do

the apple juice is getting to him already

04:00

fan: “what one thing you won’t miss after it’s done? and don’t say each other, that’s not true”

shoutout to that fan right there looking out for all of us

04:0

misha: “i’m not gonna miss jared and jensen hurting me”

jensen goes all quiet, misha touches his leg

AND THEN MISHA APOLOGISES FOR FONDLING HIM

this is so fucking complex but also probably so simple

on the one hand that touch was automatic, assuring jensen, but also misha’s aware of how that exact kind of touch is not especially consensual in the context of what he’s talking about

they kind of seem to have two separate relationships, the personal/private/convention-performance one... and the on-set one. off set, misha’s in charge and jensen is his princess, but then on-set, misha is a sexually abused puppy

and honestly i don’t know how i feel about this, so i try and figure out how misha feels about it. like... it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t enjoy being hurt, but rarely actually gets upset about it (i.e.: the airplane), and still maintains an apparently consensual, respectful and emotionally intimate relationship with jensen and jared outside of set??? it’s confusing to me and what i’m seeing here isn’t really helping me understand yet

04:12

oop the video finished, time to move to the next one

i’m still torn on this issue

like it’s...... funny, i guess? jared army crawling onto set to hurt misha? BUT ALSO IT’S NOT, and it shouldn’t be, it’s only funny because they apparently find it funny

or at least jensen does, but jensen loves misha the most, so like..........

god i still don’t know

every year i’m still baffled by this

i just want jared to stop hurting misha

those poor inner thighs

part 2!!

JIB10 - Jensen and Jared and Misha panel part2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dd8O2-_Akk0&ab_channel=thiniassk

04:16

misha’s now talking about mark (sheppard?) and how mark wants other cast people to make “an environment where people are happy to go to work” the way the spn cast does

back to the thigh pinching though. so misha can quote that with total conviction... so i guess despite the pain he does enjoy it?? maybe he’s just a masochist and likes being hurt, idk...... and yet he says he won’t miss it once it’s over

who knows if i will ever understand this

04:1?

extended eye contact with misha as jensen says “i would’ve loved to have slept in”

UH HUH

04:?5

OH GOD IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING THEY’RE LYING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER

in which jensen is being misha and misha is being jared

“yeah you sexy bitch you like this”

????????????????????????????????????????

and then misha pulls jensen up by the hand~

that did not last nearly long enough

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THEY DIDN’T EVEN GET TO RECOVER OR FINISH THE SENTENCE BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE COMES ON STAGE

UGH

EVERY FUCKING TIME

WHEN DO WE NOT GET COCKBLOCKED

OH it’s not even everyone else it’s just jared

does he have internal alarms that go off when jensen and misha are being publicly intimate and he has to show up with a cowbell and a taser

04:30

jensen is definitely tipsy now

04:41

jared: “i was like ‘shut up bitch’ and you were like ‘yeah, hit me’

jensen facepalms and misha mouths “no i didn’t”

?????

jared is such a wildcard in this dynamic

on the one hand they’re advertising themselves as the model set relationship, and there’s obviously love between them, but on the other hand they’re all being abused by jared

i’m so perplexed

04:35

https://youtu.be/dd8O2-_Akk0

misha to jensen: “do you... you wanna tell your... your dream?”

jensen shakes head “nope”

jared: “whoa!! this just got really romantic” (backs up)

(thank you jared for trying to keep out of this, i guess)

04:44

i just took a lil break and i’m back now

i thought a bit about what i’ve watched so far today and compared it to the first part of the panel that i watched last time, and i’m trying to figure out if the energy is different because i’m in a different mood or whether it actually changed around the same point i paused last time, around the 11 minute mark. the first part of this was flirty and silly and fun, and then that vibe kind of plummeted... i guess it was because they started talking immediately about the abuse on set

but yeah, no, just typing that made me realise i’m right, the energy did change. misha mellowed out and jensen followed suit. despite getting tipsy and being more open to shaking his ass, he and misha remained subdued

like.. jensen clearly finds the abuse hilarious but i don’t think misha does. he loves jared and jensen both but i think there is legit pain there. people can be both abusive and loving, you know? jared’s awful but also nice, and i guess i enjoy his obvious outward support for jensen and misha’s romantic relationship, but i’ve always found it harder to appreciate him, compared to the effortless love i have for misha.

misha always, ALWAYS demonstrates that it’s absolutely possible to be dominant without hurting or demeaning people, and jared is just... not like that.

and yeah this upsets me enough that i’m now blurry-eyed with tears while typing this

it’s been kind of hard to enjoy this part of the video and i needed a moment away to figure out why

my favourite jibcon will always be the one where jensen leaned in to kiss misha. he was upset and misha went to comfort him, and supported him the whole time. i was thinking the other day how that energy was fresh. like they’d only just begun a sexual/romantic relationship in real life, or were about to and were eager for it. and this time it’s clearly been years and they’re more comfortable with their attraction.

but like.

yeah i’m disappointed that jared is on stage now. i can’t help it, i always am. his presence just seems especially upsetting after everything misha’s told us

i’m in no way saying they’re not friends, because they are, and i can’t doubt that they’ll be friends for the rest of their lives, happily and comfortably, but at the same time i will never be able to deny that jared is abusive. he violates consent in every possible way and just because it’s funny doesn’t mean it’s okay. these three spin the stories to make us laugh, but truly, under all of it, i find it upsetting.

someone’s always gonna say “but misha’s fine, he can take it”

but abused people can be fine, because they tend to be the strongest people, yet that doesn’t make the abuse okay. he’s not agreeing to it, he’s showing up for work each day because he has an obligation to and a family to feed. and he does love working there, and the people he works with, DESPITE the abuse.

i just. i don’t want people watching this to ever think that it’s okay for friends to hurt you. it’s possible to be bullied by friends. in fact that seems most likely in my own past. you may still be their friend, and your love for them may be warranted, and understandable, because they are lovable, but that doesn’t make their actions okay

anyway

05:05pm

misha: “are you wearing a t-shirt that says destiel is real?”

jensen’s hand ZOOMs to him i.e. “stop talking”

also he tied the pocket scarf around his neck and it looks good

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE CHEERS

omg remember when people would boo

THIS IS BETTER

is jensen like........ pumping for more cheers or being sarcastic? can’t tell, it’s kind of both

and then jensen just goes “DESTIEL IS REAL”

his tone is like.........forceful joking? but also he just SAID it ???

jensen: “is it? is it??”

crowd: “yes no yesss noo”

https://youtu.be/dd8O2-_Akk0?t=12m59s

jensen: “where? where is it real?”

misha: (pulls jensen down) “don’t get in a fight with people, honey”

HONEY. HE DID JUST SAY HONEY RIGHT?? HE SAID HONEY.

me: wrote a fic called He Called Me Honey

OMG.

misha is the best and will always be the best and his support is the best and i love him more than words can say

05:13

k but

i think people’s claims that the destiel thing annoys jensen do have truth to them. his middle finger is on the mic, he’s PISSED.

but ........

honestly i don’t think it’s for the obvious reason. right now, *tilts head*.... looking at this, i think he’s actually more annoyed that destiel is not canonically canon. from what he sees, people are seeing something that’s “not there”, because despite him acting, he can’t hide his attraction to misha. and it’s still the old stuff from season 4 and 5 that put down the basis for all this, when he didn’t realise his pupils were dilating in the first few weeks with misha. and the storyline pushed them together.

theory: jensen’s annoyed about the destiel thing because it’s not as canon as he wants it to be.

maybe.

just........ the way he reacts to destiel stuff out of panels seems way more supportive. he’s just currently feeling attacked by the disparity of opinion in the room, everyone yelling about their take on it, whereas his question was legitimate: “where are you guys seeing the romance?” because (despite his best efforts?) dean still hasn’t kissed cas on screen.

deleted scenes = deleted destiel. i’m still 80% convinced when cas came back from the empty, there was a shot where dean kissed him. and it wasn’t used. (i have no proof. this is a theory. just with the setup to the scene, and the way jensen flirts with misha on set, i refuse to believe there wasn’t a kiss shot at some point. even if jensen was messing around for giggles. he knows what’s up, deep down.)

anyway, my point is, i don’t think jensen understands the romantic subtext. i think he understands physical touching, spoken words, kisses. and he hasn’t seen that in the show. i think he absolutely acts dean as being best friends with cas, but the subtextual romance comes from the writers, editors, and people picking up on jensen’s unconscious attraction.

but jensen has not seen what he would interpret as Romance in the show. and i think he’s miffed that other people see it, because in his interpretation that means it’s actor bleed. i think he just doesn’t get it. not saying he hasn’t studied subtext and stuff, as a director, but i think for him personally, romance is romance when it’s seen (hence him touching cas a lot more when he directs). and any bold choices he’s made as dean interacting with cas have been hidden away by the producers.

again, this is all theory, my take on it. the other theory is that he doesn’t support destiel and doesn’t like talking about it at all. but THAT IS NOT TRUE and if anything, *THIS* and *THIS* prove that

05:50pm

k well those links just took me 20 minutes to find, and i still can’t find the version with the actual fanart. it was sunshine yellow, dean and cas were naked in towels, drinking coffee, and dean has a boner under his towel, and jensen drew a speech bubble saying “who the fuck are you?”

but yeah i think i gotta stop for today. I WILL BE BACK. maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few days. still got 4 minutes of this panel and then jensen & misha’s solo panels to watch. and i wanna get all my reaction posts up before the ‘good omens’ series drops at the end of may!! because maybe i’mma post reactions to those on tumblr too c:

hope you’re all having a decent day <3

Elmie x

#Cockles #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #Elmie watches things #jibcon #post of postiness #shipper!Jared #shenanigans #abuse cw #J2M #Jared Padalecki

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elisexjapan · 5 years ago

Photo

12 april 2013 Okay, just came home from my concert with D. I started listening to them 2008 and I used to listen to them every day the last months in Japan back then, when going back and forth between school. Now I've finally seen them live. And what a live it was!! It was a bit tricky to find my way, and when I was looking at a map when I was where I had thought it was (but it wasn't), a kind japanese woman in visual kei-ish clothes came up to me and asked "May I help you?" whereupon I answered that I can speak japanese, haha. I then said where I wanted to go, and, ofc, she was also going to D's live! So we went together. Thank you, kind woman, you were a great help!! There were Visual Kei, goth and lolita people EVERYWHERE. Holyyyyyyyy shit. Everyone were so beautiful!! Woah!!! It was my first time going to a visual kei concert in Japan (i've been to several in europe tho), and let me tell you that it was very different... Either way, the lady asked me if I had the flags with me, and I was like what flags? And well, I found out when they started, that they were all having flags... all people in the audience. Two little flags in black and red. And they were waving them in a very special pattern along with the music, and they knew EXACTLY when to do what move! It was... wow. Like when the hell did they practice that? In came all the band members one by one, recieved applauses, and went to their instrument... And last, came Asagi. My dear Asagi. The theme right now is Pirates, so he was dressed fully in a captain's goth pirate outfit, and was carrying a huge D flag. He was absolutely absolutely lovely. <3 <3 <3 During some other songs he also had a pistol that he pointed at us, hehe, and also a telescope that he pointed at us while saying "I can see you veery clearly..." omg. And at one point he also was carring a camera with the microphone, and at the back there was a projector where we could see, live, what he was filming! He used it especially when he had told us to do The Wave. He sweeped the camera over the crowd and the crowd would jump when the camera filmed them. I was on the second floor in the middle kinda, so I doubt I will be on the live DVD later, oh well. Either way, when they were playing normal songs that didn't use flags or stuff, all the people were still DANCING. In UNISON. They had little moves with their hands that they would do at certain points in the songs. ALL. OF. THEM. HOW DID THEY KNOW!? How did they know it all!? The lady who showed me the way said that someone of the band members had said on their twitter to people not to forget their flags, but seriously, what? Do I have to check their twitter to know that I should bring flags? Where am I even supposed to learn the silly little moves in each song? By going to all lives? Watching earlier live DVDs? XD It was absolutely hilarious, embarassing, boring and funny all at the same time. The moves were basically like crossing you hands in front of your chest, putting them up in the air, one hand in the air, and stuff like that. At first I thought they were way too silly, but after a while I joined in - it was better than doing nothing. Oh and they even had timed HEADBANGING at some points in some songs. Yeah. Lolitas headbanging. I never thought I'd get to see that. Needless to say I joined in a few times. But seriously, there were a lot of times when I felt like headbanging but it wasn't that point in the song and they were doing some other little silly dance in the audience, meh. I stood between two very petite little japanese girls in half-lolita clothes. They looked absolutely out of place, but they knew each silly dance by heart, wow. O_O; And one of them headbanged like I've never seen anyone headbang before, daaayumn gurl! Seriously, seeing so many people dance little silly upper-body-dances together to a Visual Kei band.... seriously. When the drummer were using both his feet on the big drum, the audience were like treading their hands in the air slightly... I felt so much like jumping and putting up my hands or something, but nooo, I had to tread my hands in front of me a little bit at the most hardcore parts of their songs. Meh! We also recieved a Rose Pen each at the entrance when we handed in our tickets, it was actually to fill in a poll thingie but I never did it (didn't have time afterwards as I rushed out to buy goodies)... and one song we used the Rose pens instead of the flags :D Finally I could join in, haha. I got a nice red Rose Pen. Oh, and, actually, since this was also a live where they released a new single, they of course played the new songs (the b-side too).... And then we had to use the flags (I used my hands), and Asagi actually showed us the dance. We practiced with him. It was so cute ;_; Perhaps that's how they learn the silly dances? Either way, the performance itself.... They played a lot of nice songs, and MY FAVOURITE SONGS!!!! OMG!!! Since they're in the Pirate theme now I never thought they'd repeat old songs, but YES they did! They played "Vampire Missa", "Yami yoru kurai doukoku no a capella etc", and "Der König die Dunkelheit" too!!!!! The last two there are two of my favourite songs, oh my god, I was so happy!!! I've seen them sing them live, oh my goooooooood!!! They were also having some videos playing on their backdrop, like a rose blooming and some other small stuff like that. One of the slower songs, they had the sky in the background and had a lot of smoke coming out. They were also talking quite a lot, mostly Asagi of course. Oh god his voice is so nice, I could listen to it forever and not get tired.... He was mostly talking about how grateful he is to all his fans and so on, since it was their 10th anniversary special premium live that I went to (thus why there were decided seats). Also at the end he passed around the mic to all the band members so they could say something each. They were mostly thanking us fans and saying how awesome it is to be able to see 10 years as a band. Asagi also said some beautiful words, like, "This moment only comes once. So make sure you appreciate this moment the most. Noone knows what comes in the future. Appreciate what you have now." or similar. I couldn't help but shed some tears, as that fits perfectly to what I feel right now... I also recorded a minute or two during the live. It wasn't allowed of course, and I will NEVER post it online ever, but I wanted desperately to savour the (most likely) only moment I'll see this awesome band live ever. There were no guards on the second floor and it was also kind of half-empty so I took my chance, mwehehhe. They also did like two or three encores, and before the first one, they had the Big Announcement that they had promised..... And the Big Annoucments, rolling on the screen, was a summer all-country tour, a SMARTPHONE GAME based on their Vampire Saga arc that will be out INTERNATIONALLY OH MYYY GOOOD, and also that they will sign with another label and go Major Label, omg!! So happy for them!! They were also PERHAPS hinting at a world live?? It's very possible at least. It was so fun to hear Asagi chuckle when he commented on the game later, haha. His laugh is so refined and beautiful, with a low and nice voice. <3 After another encore (they played the Vampire Saga themed songs then, like I said; Der König Der Dunkelheit and also In the name of Justice, since they had just announced the Vampire Saga mobile game), they came out with CHAMPAGNE!! (that you could buy afterwards too) and we all cheered for them as they celebrated with us. <3 As they went off stage (twice or thrice just to come back for another encore) they waved to us all, and Asagi pointed his microphone at us and we screamed, I screamed his name so many times so high, wow. Asagi. <3 Asagi!! Asagi!!! There was also a nice moment when all of us sang... like, the band sang a song, then got quiet, and we all continued singing in unison while Asagi directed the microphone towards us. It was very beautiful.... And glitter. Glitter everywhere at the end, they had so much glitter raining down on them, ahaha, and some shot out into the audience too. I couldn't grab any though. And, at the very end, before going out the last time, Asagi came out with a chest full of red roses, real roses. They all them threw them out into the audience - Asagi kissed his roses before throwing them out. I was on the 2nd floor like I said, so I could only stand and watch :\ Oh, and Kamijo and Moi Dix Mois had sent them flowers to congratulate their 10 year anniversary (japanese do that to each other, one company to another or similar stuff). The huge bouquets were by the entrance. Let me just say that I've been playing this video and song on repeat for some days now: http://youtu.be/zf0w16UZf6o . That song is pure love. And when they started playing the intro... omg I just died right then and there and screamed so much... I didn't think they'd play it at all, oh my god yes. So all in all, it was an absolutely awesome night, I cired, I smiled, I laughed, I screamed. D, and especially Asagi - thank you for being so amazing. Thank you. I love you, forever.

This is the live I went to:

2013年4月12日渋谷公会堂

D 10th Anniversary Special Premium Live「Bon Voyage!」 2013.4.12[Fri] 　渋谷公会堂 OPEN／17:30　START／18:30 前売／￥5,200　当日／￥5,700 全席指定一般発売日 2013.2.24[Sun]

#D #music #pirate #vampire saga #vampire #shibuya #live #渋谷公会堂 #2013年4月12日 #D 10th Anniversary Special Premium Live「Bon Voyage!」

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elizabethemerald · 5 years ago

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kreli and/or Jlaireby for the otp questions?

I’m also going to do Jlaireby. I am not one to resist doing both when given the option.

1. Who laughs at their own joke and who deadpans at the joke?

Eli laughs at his own jokes. Usually he is quoting a show or something else he likes, and he found it funny the first time, so he finds it just as funny each time he tells it.

Krel will always deadpan a joke. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when he’s telling a joke and when that is just the mood he is in.

2. If they had a secret handshake, how would it go?

The secret handshake takes ten minutes and requires Krel to transform between his human and Akiridion forms 7 times. Eli beatboxes the entire time. It’s so complex no one is yet sure whether or not they are actually doing the same thing each time, least of all these two. .

3. It’s movie night, what movies are they gonna watch together?

Any assorted nerd media. Eli has seen them all but Krel hasn’t seen any of them, so Eli has to get him all caught up. Krel will occasionally critique the science fiction movies they watch when they have scientific inaccuracies.

4. It’s time to name their pet they adopted together, who gets to name it? How do they come to this decision?

Eli names it something nerdy. Depending on the character Krel may flat refuse to ever call it that.

5. Who would they love to go on a double date with? Either Steve and Aja or Jim and Claire. Eli prefers the first since he can hang out with his fellow Creep Slayer, and Krel prefers the later so he doesn’t have to see the Palchuck kiss his sister. After Season 2 they hang out with Toby and Darci, since they are all such good friends now.

6. Who wakes the other up in the morning? How do they wake them up? Krel will usually wake up first and get to work on a project or invention. That will wake up Eli sooner or later.

7. How do they celebrate Halloween?

They dress as their parts from Captain Fuck Kleb. People compliment Krel on his costume, not realizing it’s just his body.

8. Who is more likely to call their partner ‘dude’?

Eli always calls Krel dude or bro. Krel didn’t get at first but feels they are terms of endearment.

9. During a thunderstorm how do they react? Is one scared? Do they both love it? Do they take pictures? ECT.

Krel isn’t the biggest fan of thunderstorms, they don’t exist on Akiridion-5, but once he does research on how they are formed he enjoys them.

10. Who would looking lovingly at their partner and call them ‘idiot’?

Krel. Eli is smart, but he’s not break the laws of physics smart. Plus he sometimes likes to get himself in trouble. Krel can’t help but appreciate his human idiot. He and Aja talk a lot about what their respective partners get up to.

11. It’s time to get groceries, who likes to look at everything and who just wants to power through and get everything done so they can go back home?

Krel always wants to get done as soon as possible. He’s got stuff to work on at home. Eli is distractible and spends a lot of time looking at movies or games that are coming out.

12. Who is more likely to make a mess in the kitchen?

Both. Krel has an experiment that went wrong permenantly burned to the stove. Eli is just not the best cook in the world.

13. Who likes to try to prank their partner? Eli did at first. However Krel either didn’t get the prank or reacted really badly (occasionally as a misunderstanding or sometimes due to his trauma) Eli learned that the pranks aren’t fun and stopped.

14. When scrolling on their phone, who is more likely to show their partner a cute picture/video of an animal?

Krel has learned to appreciate his new home and so he spends a lot of time looking at pictures of earth animals. He will pause to show Eli and get his opinion on the matter.

15. Who causes the tomfoolery and who has to try and stop the tomfoolery?

If tomfoolery is to be had it is usually at the hand of Eli. Though Krel is not immune to his own silliness.

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har-rison-s · 6 years ago

Text

My MARVEL Journey

A/N: Hi, yes. No one answered if they'd like to hear/read it, but I will put it here anyways. It's long, it's very long. But I hope you read this. This brought me to tears. Enjoy.

My first Marvel-related memory was probably when Captain America: The First Avenger came out. A picture of Steve Rogers shirtless was in the magazine and I laughed at it. I don’t remember the particular reason, but something about ‘who the hell’s going to go see this movie? only because of the shirtless guy, i’m sure’. Yes, yes, Rūta, you’re sure.

It was 2012 and the movie Avengers had come out. Me and my dad were sitting in a cafeteria, looking at the small printed repertoire of the nearest cinema, wanting to see Avengers. But, alas, I was too young. I was only eleven at the time and the movie had an age restriction, 12+. Made me a bit confused and I was often told I look older than I am, but dad didn’t want to break any rules. So, we went home.

I don’t know when exactly this was, but we were at home and I was doing something on my own, dad was in his room and I heard that he was watching a movie. So I ran up the stairs to see what he was watching. The Avengers.

I sat down next to him, having no idea what was happening in the movie, and watched a fragment of the movie with him. At the time, I really liked Chris Hemsworth and Thor, one of my first celebrity crushes. So dad asked me “You like that Thor guy, right?” At which I smiled and said yes. Eleven-year-old me, oh my god, that is so funny to me now.

When Iron Man 3 came out, I was thankfully above the restricted age and dad took me to the cinema to see Iron Man 3. My english wasn’t that good then, so I understood like 40% of what everyone was saying. But I remember liking the movie a lot, it felt fresh and new and I really liked the humor and Tony and Harley’s interactions. Towards the end of May 2013, at some point I had drawn Iron Man’s hand with the light and showed it to my dad. He liked it so much that he took a photo and posted it to his Instagram. Or was that 2014? I actually can’t remember.

Then, sometime later in the year, we went to see Thor: The Dark World. One of MCU’s worst movies, but at the time I liked it, cause, of course, I liked Loki and Thor a lot, and their actors.

That’s when I think my involvement with Marvel really started. I used to draw Loki and Thor in my notebooks, save photos and memes of them in my first touch-screen phone and put them as wallpapers. There was one really good drawing of Loki I did, I think I still have it somewhere. But really, for my drawing skills at 12-years-old, it was exceptionally good. His face was very detailed and similar to the real photo.

I used to watch a lot of videos of Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth on my laptop, I had so many photos of them saved, and I used to watch Thor: the Dark World and Avengers all the time, not understanding a thing or what’s happening, what’s the storyline. All I knew is that I loved Loki and he was my first favourite Marvel character. Some time passed until I got more in depth with his character. I was young and silly, okay? Forgive me.

Next thing, I found out my classmate also liked Loki and the MCU movies. I was happy I found someone with the same interest, a bit unhappy that it wasn’t my best friend. But I knew she’d come around, and I had my fun.

Spring 2014 came around and me and my dad were going to New York City. My god, I couldn’t wait. I’d wanted to go there since I could remember. Around the time we went there, the press tour for Captain America: The Winter Soldier had started and I had thrown Marvel to the side a little.

Me and my dad went to a comic book store in NYC, not so far from Central Station, because he wanted to look for Transformer comics and I wanted to find a Loki comic for my classmate. The comic shop was small, but god was it cool. It had very steap stairs, you had to climb them to get there. And they were narrow and someone wanted to come down when we were going up, so it was quite uncomfortable. But the comic store was heaven for me.

It had action figures, pop! toys with the bobby heads, Mjlonir!!! and Loki’s helmet!! and Cap’s shield!! In actual life size. That was cool. There were toys from CATWS, and I told dad “Oh, the new Captain America movie is coming out sometime around now.” cause I remember seeing it on twitter and seeing a snippet of the trailer. I marvelled at the toys, looking at them. Natasha, Steve, the Winter Soldier, Falcon, Nick Fury. It was very exciting. There were probably other promotional things except for the toys, but I didn’t see them (or just don’t remember them).

Dad got his transformer comic, and I got my Loki comics, and we left. I think we spent from 30 minutes to an hour there. No regrets.

A week, I think, after returning from NYC, me and my best friend went to see Captain America: the Winter Soldier. I still didn’t quite know what was happening, but I remember seeing the trailer and thinking ‘how epic is this!! some mysterious guy, cap looking very attractive, natasha having a great haircut, i’m excited!!’. And that’s where the real ‘trouble’ began.

I saw Bucky and Steve’s friendship somehow, for an unknown reason, very similar to my own, with my friend. I don’t know why, it just seemed so familiar, so well-known. None of us have been brainwashed and made an assasin, but I think already then we shared the same deep connection as Steve and Bucky and we still do. Maybe that’s why I saw a familiarity there - I’d do anything, go against anyone for my best friend, just like Steve did for Bucky.

I had so many pictures of Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan and Scarlett Johansson in my phone, I changed my wallpaper every other day, very often. I watched their previous, non-marvel movies all the time. And then Scarlett’s “Lucy” came out and me and my best friend watched it in poor quality on my iPhone 4. We also watched CATWS in poor quality on my iPhone 4. How could we do that?? On such a small screen?? Was desparation the reason? Who knows.

Anyways, I was obssessed with Marvel then. Couldn’t wait for the next Avengers and Captain America movies, didn’t even know what they’d be about. Then, I had started to see into the characters and my english had improved, so I started to understad everything better.

I remember one evening after seeing CATWS, we spent like 30 euros on groceries to make dinner and spend some time together, and we were making that dinner and then watching the first Captain America movie. It was one of the best nights of my life.

Spring 2014 is still the favourite time of my life, because it gave me so much. So many new people, characters, discoveries, books, travels, friends, etc. I loved that period in my life, all of the first half of 2014. If I could travel in time, I would go and live in that time for as long as I could, being the same age as I was then. I wouldn’t necessarily want to live there as myself like I am now, I’d like to be as young and weird as I was then.

Every spring, I am reminded of 2014’s spring. The smell of fresh rain plus the smell of blooming lilac and lingon. The music I listened to then, the places I was at most often then, the smells and feelings of spring. It’s interesting that spring reminds me of that particular year’s spring, not other years. It is somehow best settled in my memories and my heart.

I will say that Captain America: the Winter Soldier changed my life. It did, and it’s not an exaggaration. This movie and the characters and the actors provided something of an escape for me. From what? I don’t know, really, but they were my home. Made me feel accepted. And I started to connect with people on Instagram and Tumblr through Marvel and it gave me a community I was accepted in, I was finally a part of. I hadn’t found that kind of thing until then. I hadn’t found a place for myself until I discovered the Marvel fanbase. And it’s the best fandom I’ve ever been a part of, the most true and loving and accepting and understanding people. The only haters in the fanbase are the directors and script-writers for the movies ;)

2014 was a very colorful year for me, my interests changed and came and went, but Marvel was a constant interest for me. It was always there, always somewhere on the side. I got a Captain America beanie and a shirt for Christmas, from my dad. Still one of my favourite Christmas gifts ever.

2015 had come around and I had changed as a person, a lot, and I wouldn’t say for the better. I was very stuck on something, stuck in an unlikable version of myself, and it was strange suddenly to communicate and be with people around, in groups. But I managed. I got a Captain America wallet for my 14th birthday that year. And I still have it, although it’s broken and wore-down, but now I have another Marvel wallet.

There was a youth film jury thing happening on a May Sunday, which was also the day me and my dad went to see Avengers: Age of Ultron. I agree, not one of Marvel’s best movies, but I liked it. The movie was funny, full of love and action, and very… discovering, as well. The movie showed each character’s fears and doubts about themselves, what they think is the worst about themselves. And that’s a strong move, to show the heroes’ weaknesses. I’ve always liked that. When a movie/tv show shows the main character’s real personality, their weaknesses, fears, the things that make them human, just like me. And it means a lot. To know that heroes like Natasha Romanoff, a genius phylanthropist like Tony Stark, a super-man like Steve Rogers and a god like Thor have a weak spot and are still humans, that they still feel what regular people do.

The similarities I can draw between myself and Steve Rogers, for example, is a) having a skill for motivational speeches, b) crossing borders and breaking rules for our best friend, c) standing by what we believe in and not giving into anyone, d) we’ll do what we have to, even if everyone else says it’s wrong, but we know it’s not. The similarities between myself and Tony Stark are a) we’re both geniuses in some ways, b) we’re geniuses who can’t sleep, c) we’re geniuses who are overlooked by most people, what we do for ourselves and for others, our friends and family is overlooked and unnoticed by others, d) we know what’s the right thing to do, e) we’re capable of more than we think (I hope).

I don’t think I have any similarities with Thor or Hawkeye or Banner. With Natasha… I just might. We’re both secretive about ourselves, about what’s happening inside, about what we’re hurting. Also we both know what we have to do, we also know that if we don’t do it, nobody else would. We both make sacrifices.

Age of Ultron was a fun time, it was some sort of highlight of the journey, well, one of the highlights. So many funny videos, so many interviews and events and comic con panels. Oh, and the credits of the movie! The sculpture of the Avengers and Ultron and his soldiers was so beautiful, I loved it. Still one of my favourite MCU credits.

Never around that time, or in 2014, or in 2013, had I thought that the Avengers movies would end at some point. Sure, I thought about the Captain America franchise - how many movies can you make? What are the Avengers going to do in the next movie? You know, stuff like that, but I never gave it more thought than that. My mind never really went there. I was too hyped about the movies coming out constantly, I was excited and couldn’t wait for each movie. My best friend reminded me on the night of Endgame premiere how she recalls me being so excited for every new movie Marvel had coming out, I think I can remember hyping the movies up, ranting happily and just being giddy and over-all excited, telling her my opinions and stuff, you know, like a true fan.

At the end of 2015, the trailer for Captain America: Civil War had come out. And the excitement grew, cause you know I’d see Steve and Bucky together again. I couldn’t wait!!

And, of course, you had to choose either if you were Team Iron Man or Team Cap, before the fans even knew what was happening. All you knew was that Steve and Tony were indifferent. Well, they couldn’t show more, otherwise they would spoil the whole plot.

I was literally the only one who was on Team Cap in all my class and my friends, everybody else was on Team Iron Man. But, you know, as our dear friend Steve Rogers, I stood my ground and didn’t falter. Captain was always my favourite and I was more a fan of him than any other Avenger. You know, when you’ve been a fan of Captain America for three years, you can’t choose Team Iron Man.

Even my best friend was Team Iron Man. One day, we were staying in line at the school cafeteria and she just said “You know, but Steve is old.” Which is one hell of an argument, I laughed in ehr face and could still do it. It’s just so funny. Yeah, okay, Tony wasn’t frozen in the ice for 70 years, but it’s no argument.

We went to see CACW on the same day we tried the black face mask for the first time. Our faces were extremely red, no matter how much make-up we put on. But I think it went off after a while. We went to the premiere, it was the first time we were in the new SCAPE auditorium. It was h u g e, the biggest 3D auditorium in the Baltic countries. I think it was the first time it was opened or at least the first week, I don’t know, maybe that’s incorrect, but I hadn’t been there before. We sat in the middle, and there was a girl with a Cap t-shirt next to us, and turned out my best friend knew her somehow, but I don’t know about that.

It was honestly, a whole experience. While the movie meant a lot to me emotionally, CACW as well as CATWS were comic book movies as much as they were political thrillers. Brilliantly done, perfect actors, good plots and turns and twists, great characters, cinematography = brilliant, the music = well written and fitting to all characters and their storylines.

I went to Civil War with one of my best friends, who is also my neighbour, and as strange as it seems since we’ve been friends since 2008, that was the first and only (yet) time we went to a movie together. And we were texting before the movie and talking about which tram to take and I asked her which team she’s on, of course, expecting her to be on Team Iron Man as everyone else. But she wasn’t! Finally someone on Team Cap!! I was so happy, haha. I was glad I wasn’t alone. It was cool, going to the movies with her. And it was only two days after I first saw CACW.

2016 was also the year Batman vs Superman came out, and Suicide Squad. BvS didn’t suck as much as SS did. God, it couldn’t live up to the hype. But I liked Batman vs Superman, I really liked the movie. I saw it twice, once with my best friend and once with my dad. I also saw Civil War twice in the theater, but altogether I’ve seen the movie probably about 200 times. It’s meditative to me, and each time I watch it, I spot something new in the charaters and the storyline. I watch it when I’m sick, when I’m at home and lazying around. I love it. Probably one of my favourite Marvel movies.

Later in May 2016, my classmate was calling me and asking if I wanted an Iron Man shirt. “It’s red, it’s big, wait, I’ll send you a picture”. So she did and I said ‘yes, of course’! It cost me five or six euros, but it was original Marvel merchandise that she bought in a second-hand shop.

In 2016 I also saw Doctor Strange. It was in November or October, I can’t place exactly, but I know I was going alone. The first Marvel movie I saw alone in the movie theater. And I was running late, as well. It was raining, but I made it in time. And it was again a premiere. I loved the movie. My classmate asked me “yo Rūta have you seen that Dr Strange movie yet?” I was like “yes, of course, it’s a Marvel movie, I went to the premiere”. I was like that back in the day, acting like it’s, you know, evident and a fact that I see all the Marvel movies immediately as they’ve come out (which I did). Anyway, I said yes and she was like “oh well were the directors on drugs? cause we saw it and the movie was so trippy, felt like lsd”. I was like…. “well, I don’t know how to tell you, but the movie’s based on comics and in the comics, as in the movie, there’s the idea of multiple universes and dimensions and what they’d look like, and I think what they showed in the movie would be quite accurate in real life if we could travel to these dimensions. The movie is meant to twist your mind and make you believe the impossible is possible and that we’re not alone in this life, we’re not alone in our environment. So it’s not meant to be trippy, but it’s meant to show you how misticism is combined with intelligence and the modern world.” Her answer was something like “oh, okay. but it’s still trippy.” It annoyed me a bit, but you know it’s okay, she doesn’t completely understand cause she’s not a fan. So it’s whatever, it’s cool.

2017 had begun and I was on a bit of a pause, it was my last year of secondary school and I had also discovered the Beatles and they changed me as a person, as well. I had emotional and existential discoveries within myself from them, but that’s not what this is about.

Me and my best friend had drifted apart a bit, so I started to hang out with other girls in my class, and they were very accepting and they were cool to spend time with. One of them, now my Marvel friend and one of my best friends, as well, also liked Marvel and had for some time. So we became closer friends and went to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. She really likes the Guardians, because she likes humor and the comedy genre, but I’m not the biggest fan of those. GOTG2 had George Harrison on its soundtrack. Harrison is one of the few loves of my life and my favourite singer, my favourite person. I was hyped to hear him in the movie, and it was in the perfect situation. To my friend, I was a bit too hyped.

Then, summer, me and my other friend went to see Spider-Man: Homecoming. I was very excited to see this movie, I had waited a year for the new Spider-Man story to be told, and I wanted to see how he’d be portrayed by this youngster, Tom Holland, who came to be one of my idols.

His story is truly inspiring. Spider-Man was his favourite superhero growing up and he had wanted to be an actor. He trained in ballet, in gymnastics, and that gives him the ability to not have a stunt-man for his Spider-Man role. His abilities, all in all, are incredible. And he’s achieved his dreams, fans have helped him and they mean a lot to him. We mean a lot to him, we’ve helped him achieve this dream.

SM:HOCO was a good movie, and I liked it a lot. It was the year I’d start high school, and I had always felt like Peter Parker. You know, out-casted, one friend, but smart and a bit awkward. I can still see the biggest similarities between myself and Parker. I remember thinking, when I started high school, “Oh I’m definitely like Peter Parker”. And I was, I still am, kind of. I’m not as smart as him, and I can’t shoot spider webs or climb plane walls or lift buses. But I see a lot of myself in him. How he tries hard, but nobody sees it, tries to help everyone, but gives problems instead (without wanting to), wants to go on every adventure. He has a person that he’s trying to prove himself to, but he’s never enough in their eyes, that is also something I often feel. And that he, an outcast at school and a supposable nobody can be a world-saving hero, means a lot as well, and speaks highly to me.

Fall 2017, high school and thinking everything’s fine and that I’m doing good. I meet my Marvel friend and we have a bite together and then go to see Thor: Ragnarok in the theater. If I remember correctly, it was the 30th of October.

I was so happy to see Thor and Loki on a screen together again that I shed tears of joy. They started my Marvel journey and it meant a lot to see them finally, for some moments, not fighting each other, but fighting along side together. And Taika Waititi did a great job for the movie and for Thor’s character, proving that he can still be the God of Thunder without his hammer. The movie was incredible, one of the best the MCU has. We laughed, we cried, we had a great time. One of my favourite days.

Project time came around, we had o make a scientific research about a topic we were interested in. To say it shortly, the process and result wasn’t pleasant, so, on Friday February the 16th, me and my Marvel went to see Black Panther - a spontanious idea, and it was the day it came out, so we made it just in time. My dear friend got a bit lost in the area around the cinema, but I helped her get here. We promised each other that next time we’ll go there together so she doesn’t get lost.

She bought us M&M’s (which we succesfully threw to the ground while the movie was playing) and popcorn. I still have both packets in my room somewhere. I kept them because it made me remember one of the best days of my life. I was feeling horrible that day and meeting her and seeing Black Panther put me in an ecstatic mood, I got much happier. So yes, these movies and characters do save my life, and so do my friends.

Black Panther was a big breakthrough for people of colour and women, which is great and I love that. It got, I think, at least one Oscar and Golden Globe. They deserve it. And Ryan Coogler is a great director. I loved the movie, it was so beautiful and nothing was out of order, I’d literally give it a 10/10.

Then, I started my Marvel movie marathon because Infinity War was coming. I remember sometime in summer 2017 or fall 2017 the trailer leaked and I didn’t want to watch it, but I did. And when it officially came out, I had forgot the leaked one.

My Marvel movie marathon went well, and I watched Ant-Man and Ant-Man and the Wasp for the first time. Now that I watch it a year later, I can say that AMATW is one of MCU’s best movies. It’s so well done. But anyways, it was so strange watching all the movies I watched when I had just started my Marvel journey. Infinity War was the beginning of the end of this incredible story, and it was very emotional.

When I was watching the first Thor, I accidentally spilled tea on my laptop, so it was a bit of a disaster, but the laptop is fine now. I dried it and continued to watch Thor. How silly of me, now that I think of it.

Then, one fine sunday the sun was out and me and my Marvel friend were meeting up to spend the day together. Mom was at work, so we were alone and we decided to watch Thor: Ragnarok again. We drank Cola with lime and watched the movie, had a good time. It was such a good day, again, one of my favourites.

April 26th, 2018. The day we went to see Infinity War—it was an unspoken rule that we’re going to every Marvel movie together—I’d had an emotional day already and was quite spent. We met up at the mall and I hadn’t finished watching Black Panther, the last movie on my marathon’s list. So we watched it at the mall, on a sofa. We had an hour to go and I don’t think we finished watching Black Panther till the end.

Well, Infinity War… wow. That was, uh, that was something. I remember how hard we cried. I remember how many tissues we used. I remember how we walked out of the theater, into the night, and we just… we didn’t know what to do. I tried to make up some theories about all the deaths, tried to find something positive, tried to find a way out of it all. But I couldn’t. And my friend was too sad to listen to my ramblings. We were broken.

The next few weeks were hard for me, I’d say the month of May was hard for me. Not only because of Infinity War, but it was a big reason. I don’t want to talk about the other reasons. But, it was hard to find strength to carry on, it was hard to live without those characters. I mean, Steve had then lost Bucky twice before his eyes. And I couldn’t understand how they could do that. Twice, I mean, t w i c e ??? Blows my mind.

And Peter. That broke me so deep I still don’t know if it has fixed. Right in front of Tony’s eyes. It was… something I couldn’t comprehend, as well. And I prayed to myself that Steve doesn’t go, that Tony doesn’t go, that Sam doesn’t go. For a while, I was relieved that Steve and Tony didn’t get ‘dusted’, but I couldn’t bare the actual deaths.

I didn’t go to see Ant-Man and the Wasp that summer. I don’t know why, maybe it just slipped. The opportunity slipped. But I don’t know. My friend did, she saw it and said it’s very good. Now, I don’t take other people’s opinions into account in order to watch a movie or before I do, I like to not hear anything about a movie before I watch it. But she was right about this one.

2018 was also a colorful and adventurous year for me, so Infinity War was one of the main events that impacted my life that year. I swore that I wouldn’t watch it again, at least not in 2018. And I did. I only watched it for a second time on January 1st this year and right before Endgame. The movie is good, and epic, as well, but I just can’t watch it as many times as I do the other MCU movies.

In November or December came the first teaser for Avengers: Endgame and we finally got the title. It was very emotional, a very dark trailer with no space for hope. I shed a few tears and thought “i’m not ready for this”. I was not.

Captain Marvel came around and at first I thought I’d wait and watch it at home, but then I got five cinema gift cards for my birthday and realised I could use one to see Captain Marvel. So I did, I bought my ticket and went to the premiere.

It was a very emotional evening because I had lost my wallet and someone had stolen it. So I ran around the streets, looking for it, and I was soon going to be late for my movie. So I ran to the cinema, crying all the time, and sat down in my seat.

The movie was amazing, I just couldn’t fully enjoy it because I was thinking about my wallet and hoping that someone had found it and gave to the authorities, hoping that I’d get it back somehow, someday. Well, I didn’t, but I got myself a new wallet and eventually stopped crying about the lost one.

Captain Marvel was truly incredible and unpredictable at moments. As much as some people think it was a feminist movie, it was not produced that way and not meant that way. It was meant to show Carol’s origin story, her own feelings and confusion and doubts towards who she is and how she fights for what’s right. I loved the movie, it was truly a masterpiece.

Teasers and trailers started coming out for Endgame and the press tour soon started and I engaged myself fully with it all, followed tags and profiles that I could get updates from.

It brought tears to my eyes to see Robert, Scarlett, Chrises, Ruffalo and Renner experience all the fun, all the love and the press tour for the last time. And then there’s Brie Larson who experiences it all for the first time. There was this video where someone said something to Brie and she got shy, started crying and put her head on Downey’s shoulder and he laid a kiss on her head. It was just sweet and well, because Downey knows how one can get shy of the compliments and attention and he’s been through it all, and he’s the one who started it all. So he sees Brie is still not used to what it all means and he knows he can give her the comfort. It’s just… giving me indescribable emotions and tears.

24th of April, 2019. The day I saw Endgame was such a great day. It was warm and sunny, even hot at times. I rode my bike back and forth over Daugava, listened to music and sang while riding, enjoyed the sun and some food. I was happy. Then, my Marvel friend had forgot she was supposed to be at the cinema by 19:10, so I called her and she tried to get there as soon as she could. Once I was inside the auditorium, I started stressing, I started panicking. It really hit me that my journey, our journey, their journey was coming to an end. This would be the last Avengers movie where they are all together, fighting together and talking and you know, Avengers stuff. It registered in my brain, although I don’t think it fully has now, actually. I started crying, I started to breath heavily and my friend wouldn’t come, I didn’t know where she was. I had prepared a gift for her that originally I planned to give her on her name day, but this was too much of a big event for us both. She had already seen Endgame at the night premiere, but we keep our promise to see all Marvel movies together. Well, we kinda fell out with that, but still.

Our friendship wasn’t born solely from Marvel, but that was one of the basics. And she means so much to me, I can’t even describe. She’s been through the last phase of Avengers with me and she, maybe a bit more than my best best friend, has seen me change and seen the impact the characters have on me with time, how they’ve helped me, helped shaped me as a person.

She won in the quiz about Marvel and got a huge poster, bigger than herself, and socks as a prize. Socks she gave to me, they’re comfy, but made for men. Still, I wear them, what’s the difference, really? Feet are feet :D

I cried so much during Endgame. It was a painful movie, an ending to something so wonderful, and I still can’t bear it. I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again, but I think I’ll buy the DVD when it comes out and watch it at home at some point. As much as I’d never forgive myself for not seeing the credits again (because they were beautiful), I can’t watch it again. I’d have a breakdown.

I actually already did. Before the movie, after the movie (several), during the movie. Especially when everyone came back. Cause I thought that’s how Steve was gonna go - alone against Thanos with his broken shield. But then everyone came back and I had a… I called it “a positive anxiety attack”. I was happy, I was relieved, but I was stressed and in panic and I was glad and I was… Ah, just everything at once. I was sobbing and breathing heavily again, I was… I was at a strange condition.

There are so many wrongs made in Endgame with the characters, as well as plot-holes simply dismissed. But in my view, it was a better movie than Infinity War. It’s the most epic superhero movie ever made. There won’t ever be a better one made.

Three days after seeing Endgame, I took part in an MCU Quiz with my friend. We got third place! I’m very happy about that, it means a lot to me. We got a mug, a poster and a comic book which I’ve yet to read and share with her. That was truly amazing, I have to thank Kino Kults for the amazing experience and gifts.

Endgame drew a part of my life which I love as much as my family to a close. It concluded a chapter, locked it closed with a key. And I still can’t come to terms with it, I still can’t realise it fully, I still can’t comprehend. That along with every fan and every actor and producer that has been a part of the MCU, my Marvel story and journey has ended. Well, I actually hope it hasn’t. There’s lots to look forward to, but the Avengers… no more.

I’ve spent a lot of money on Marvel, merchandise and souvenirs, and I don’t regret a single cent. Movie tickets, comics, posters, phone cases, necklaces, rings, keychains, shirts and hoodies. I’ve made original merchandise (for myself only) as well, and I think that’s very cool. I have my own idea and I make it happen. I’ve made art, I’ve made my own notebook and book covers with Marvel characters on them that I use in school, I’ve customized boxes and folders with Marvel themes. I have two self-customized shirts, two self-customized hoodies, and three or four merchandise shirts from Marvel. I’ve had joggers, pyjama pants, etc. I still have my beanie and I use it from time to time, I wear my clothes proudly.

The people who are a part fo the MCU that have inspired and impacted me the most are Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Tom Holland and Tom Hiddleston. Their stories, their personalities, their motivations, their characters have given me so much, they’ve taught me so much about life and about myself, as well. They’ve brought me where I am now. I couldn’t be here without them, I couldn’t be who I am without them. Without all of the actors and characters, actually.

If I could have any way to thank them, any way to reach the actors and talk to them, I would be so thankful. If I’d meet at least one of them, well, it would be a dream come true. They’re all still alive and if I had any opportunity to get to a Con, a meet and greet, or simply meet them accidentally, I would use it. It’s my dream to talk to them, to see them in real life. I’d give anything for that to come true.

This journey has been absolutely incredible. I’ve made new friends through Marvel, made artworks, had ideas, discovered music, discovered artists, discovered new things about myself and others. When I had nothing, I had Marvel and their movies and characters. They gave me hope when I couldn’t. They made me believe in myself when I didn’t have the strength to and nobody else would.

Marvel, you have been my life and my home for the past seven years. O cannot ever thank you enough. You’ve given me so much. I’m so glad I was here, I was on board while all the movies came out. They shaped my childhood, my adolescence and made me into who I am today. I can’t believe the avengers’ journey is over. It never really will be. For me, at least. They’ll live forever in my heart, in the fans’ hearts and in cinematic and culture history.

Thank you, Marvel. Thank you, Robert Downey Jr. Thank you, Chris Evans. Thank you, Avengers. I love you 3000.

11 notes · View notes

jeno-screaming · 6 years ago

Text

Two Separate Worlds || Lee Jeno

A/N: This took literally years because I had 0 motivation for like 4 months. But it’s finally done!!!!!!

Request: could you do the no one can know jeno version?? maybe you could switch it up with the reader being in a different company or whatever u like 💓💗💘

Genre: fluff, angst¿ I’m terrible at writing angst but maybe I’ll try

Warnings: none?¿

^^ do I prefer black haired or light haired Jeno? the world may never know

you’re the second youngest member of a girl group called Paramoila (pair-a-m-oi-la) from JYP Entertainment. you love being a young idol because people baby you a lot, but also hate that you have to leave award shows early because you can’t be on tv past 10pm. so during that time, you have to rest backstage where other underage idols stay as well as your Maknae

you always made conversation with them just to pass the time because usually it’s another hour and a half before the award show ends so talking to other underage idols is a good way to keep yourself occupied. one group you’ve grown to enjoy talking to is NCT Dream, Mark is the only member allowed out past 10 so the other 6 are back talking with you mostly, your maknae being tired and falling asleep on the couches

you began to form a bond with Jeno, he was actually funnier than the members say he is, although sometimes his jokes are cring worthy sometimes. also never ask him to do any cute stuff because he’ll slap you silly

you don’t see him often because you’re from JYP and award shows don’t happen often but when you do, you always enjoy your time together. eventually you ask for a way to contact him outside of award shows and such, he’s a little shy about it at first but he does give you his number

you saved his number as “Eye Smile 😌” and he saved yours as “Old Maknae” because he always made fun of you for being one of the youngest (even though he’s also a young member) but you looked like an actual 12 year old compared to your elders

so after about 1 month of talking over text, you two decided it would be a horrible great idea to go on a date, but because of all the crazy fan sites that are lurking around 24/7 you two decided to go to the cafe at JYP entertainment just because that was a private area on the second floor where fans can’t see up into

you get a text from Jeno says he’s in the lobby, wearing a bucket hat, a red mask, black jeans and a jacket. you run downstairs and grab his hand to rush him to the elevator where you’d stand in there alone. the music killed any awkwardness luckily

finally you two arrive at the cafe and sit down to talk and eat. you guys catch up on things and you mention how much you love the We Go Up album and he compliments your mini album Starstruck

you had worked on one of the songs for your album but you decided not to tell him which one because it was a love song that you wrote with him in mind. he’ll have to find out on his own

Jeno catches you off guard when he grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes. his own eyes speak 1000 words but you can’t form a sentence, until he says, “y/n, I really like you. I don’t often express my feelings towards people because I’m not good with words, but you make me feel some way I’ve never felt. Sometimes I can’t focus because of the conversations we have. I want you to be mine y/n, I really do.”

his words go straight to your heart as your face breaks into a smile. you nod your head, unable to think of anything to say without laughing your head off from joy

You nod your head since you’re currently unable to think properly and might scream if you open your mouth. so many thoughts are running around your mind

“what if we get caught? What if I only see him during award shows? Can I handle dating someone who’s way out of my league?”

none of that really matters to you at this very moment because you couldn’t be happier. you are finally dating someone you’ve had a crush on since you watched him debut with NCT Dream

he may not have been your first bias but boy did he know how to pull your heart strings. with his charming smile and amazing personality

not to mention his voice is so soft and velvety, sometimes he’d call you when he first wakes up and holy shit- nvm we aren’t going there. not yet anything ;)

so moving along, I’m try and make this shorter but also long? How is that possible idk

so to your not surprise, you two were caught staring at each other at the latest award show. your groups were on either side of the isle and you kept making funny faces at him, making him laugh

catching the eyes of COUNTLESS fan sits and fans in general. even your members saw it and warned you to stop (they knew you two were together) because of how much attention you two could bring

too late bitch, with the 2 minute of you and Jeno making hand signals and faces at each other, one very popular drama fan site took probably 20 pictures and 3 videos

So the next day, you wake up to a phone call from Jeno, you expect it’s just a good morning phone call until you hear him frantically say “we’ve been caught” your heart drops 6 feet underground as you realize that your company may have to force you out of your contracts

you decide to drive over to the SM building and park in the back so that no fans will see you, or at least very little. you have Jeno come down and open the door, he pushes you up the stairs into his dorm where the other members are sitting on edge. scared for the both of you

“We’re gonna go in my room and talk. This is a personal matter that me and her need to deal with alone.” the member agree and let you two have some time to yourselves

both you and Jeno can’t seem to sit still as both of you think about what could happen to either of you. you’re both young idols and could very easily be replaced by anyone at any moment

“babe I think we need to calm down. My anxiety is already really high, let’s just sit down and be with each other for right now.”

he nods his and sits down next to you. his hand molds perfectly with yours as you lay your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t wanna lose you y/n. You’re so perfect and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I know we could still be friends but I can’t stand the thought of not being able to kiss you and call you mine.”

all you can tell him is to not worry about it right now. you guys don’t wanna spend more time worrying and less time being around each other. that’s not ideal at least

after a couple hours of not hearing anything from either companies, you decide to head back home to your dorm and avoid any contact with your members or manager. you really weren’t in the mood for an confrontation

3 days later, both companies released a statement that confirms your relationship. neither of you were kicked out of the company nor treated any differently.

(Bonus scene)

3 years after dating, you’re at a restaurant of your choice with Jeno when he seems to be a little nervous

“honey are you alright? You’re very figgity tonight.” you chuckle at his flushing face

he sighs and says “alright. here goes nothing” under his breath. he reaches for your hand and sighs once more

“y/n l/n, these last 3 years have been nothing but magical for me. I’ve finally found the one for me and I never want to let you go. A long time ago, I was afraid that our companies were going to separate us forever, but we were lucky enough to stick through the drama. I want someone who’s going to be there for me through thick and thin.”

he proceeds to get down on one knee and pull out a little purple velvet box, opens it to show a beautiful ring

“will you marry me?”

you’re so overwhelmed, just like your first date. all you can do is nod and feel tears drop down your face

FIN

35 notes · View notes

wintersqueenmab · 5 years ago

Note

Silly, do all the questions you definitely deleted. All of them.

Well, since you asked so nicely, sure. Under the readmore to save dashboard space.

1. how tall are you?

I’m 5 foot, 9 inches tall, or 175 centimeters for those of you using metric units.

2. what is your body type?

Softer than I’d like, but otherwise pretty standard.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

I do like the color of my eyes, and I think my hands are pretty nice.

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Partially, yes. However, the top of my head is currently a cotton candy riot, so not that part.

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I like to pull off the shy -> outgoing combo for maximum damage.

6. are you more femme or butch?

Being AMAB, I’m pretty sure I’m automatically on the butch side. Not where I’d like to keep it, though.

7. are you tol or smol?

I don’t think 5′9″ is very tall, or very small. The middle it is, then.

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Definitely vodka aunt.

9. weird habit?

Does eating popcorn seeds count?

10. favorite meme?

I’m a sucker for bass boosting in the middle of otherwise normal videos.

11. do you sing in the shower?

Ironically, that’s one of the only places I don’t sing.

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

A couple times, but never in any seriousness.

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

Not currently, but I definitely was in high school. Would love to go back.

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nah, son. Shit’s expensive.

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes, but in a good way.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

Sadly not.

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

“Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.”

18. last movie you watched?

Spider-Man: Far from Home.

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

In front, definitely. Doing theater has shown me that I love being in the spotlight.

20. favorite tv show?

Toss up between Steven Universe and A:tLA.

21. meaning behind your url

Comes from an old username I had a long time ago. I still use Rydyr for most things online.

22. reason you joined tumblr

Kingdom Hearts fandom, then almost immediately comboed into Homestuck.

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

Probably samysticeti.

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Lord of the Rings.

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

Nope.

26. have you had sex?

Sure have.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Yes, several times.

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

I once told my dad that my brother had destroyed my writing journal to get out of writing in it for the day. It worked!

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

Getting to know systems and the best way to exploit them is pretty dang neat.

30. describe your best friend.

Always there for me, even when I don’t want them there. But they know better.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Now, what makes you think you’ve earned that?

32. how do you feel right now?

Slightly irritated at the amount of formatting work I had to do for this (a lot), but otherwise good. Go listen to Starlight Brigade if you haven’t heard it, it’s fantastic.

33. what is your biggest fear?

Not becoming who I want to be.

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Glory, by Bastille.

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Being more outgoing has, in general, done a ton for me.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

Yeah. That’s life, though.

37. something you fantasize about.

Financial stability, a harem of cuties, being in a harem of cuties. Lots of unattainable goals.

38. last time you cried and why

A while ago, probably over past relationships.

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

A dumb play my friend made in a League of Legends match.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Always.

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Honestly, nobody. Without sounding like an edgelord, there’s a lot I don’t want people to know because they’d just worry.

42. the last time you felt broken?

Last night.

43. are you starting to realize anything

Many, many things.

44. are you more dominant or more submissive

Depends on the context, obviously. I try to be assertive in everyday life, but I think I’m more submissive in the bedroom.

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect.

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

I don’t have any real preference, but I think I’d feel weird if I dated someone significantly younger than myself.

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

That’s not fair; I have too many crushes to single anyone out. One of the pros/cons of being poly.

48. do you have any kinks?

Look, there’s a whole ass list here. Gotta get more specific.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

Probably their voice if I’m actually interacting with them. If I’m seeing them from afar, it’s their hair.

50. how can someone win your heart?

By being sweet to me.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Of course.

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Tons of times.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

If they were down, yeah.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

Like, do I have trust issues? Not really. Is it a big thing for me in a relationship? Once we hit a certain point, yeah.

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

A couple of them, yeah. Not nearly enough, though.

56. is confidence cute?

It’s fucking sexy.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Good for them! They’re living their best life. Fuck jealousy.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not. I love being with funny people.

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

At least one of them does. I try not to make it a big deal.

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my partners more times than I care to count.

61. do you want to get married

Not unless the government gets really cool about a lot of things really quickly.

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Lied to people that trusted me.

63. three things that turn you on.

Confidence, a nice pair of legs, and the ability to take charge.

64. who do you hate?

Nazis.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Stardust.

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Probably some fucking Homestuck characters, I dunno.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both. Both? Both are great.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

We gotta like the same stuff. Also want to get freaky in the bedroom the same way.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

Sixty-nine, eyyyyy. Uh, all of them.

70. are you good at flirting?

Only when I’m unaware I’m doing it.

71. who was the first person you came out to?

My friends in high school.

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Yes! Several.

73. is your crush wlw?

Some of them are, yeah.

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

Pretty much literally any attractive person. I think about it a lot.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

I wish you’d know me

As I’ve gotten to know you

See me as I am

76. do you fall in love easily?

Love, no. Infatuation? Almost pathetically so, yeah.

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Boy fucking howdy, yeah.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Extremely. I just wanna be friends with everyone.

80. what is your “type?”

Kind people that can slam me against a wall and make me thank them for the privilege.

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

B O T H

82. tall girls or short girls?

I’d love to be with a girl that just fucking dwarfs me in height.

83. hugs or kisses?

I fucking love hugs. And I’ve had strangers tell me I give great hugs, so I wanna share that with others.

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

Fuck, dude, I’d sure love to get twirled.

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

A tummy kiss that transitions into a big fucking tummy raspberry.

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Neck kisses, hell fucking yeah.

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair, absolutely. Too many people are ticklish.

88. making out or soft kisses?

I don’t understand why I need to choose here. They’re both great in different situations.

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Waist! Easier to pick people up that way.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

I’m pretty confident in my ability to be attracted to nearly anyone that’s nice to me.

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies, with blushing only when I get embarrassed around them.

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

Yes and yes.

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

Well, being AMAB, this was pretty early. It took me a lot longer to accept being into guys.

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

There was this one time I just nerded out about MtG for like ten minutes, and she was just sitting nearby. When I saw her, I almost died.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

Rosemary from Homestuck. It’s so good.

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“Are you sure you can’t just pick one person and stick to them?”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

Like six hours ago.

98. what is love to you?

Love is caring about another person more than yourself. It’s wanting the best for them at all times. It’s being happy when they’re happy and being sad when they’re sad. It’s seeing the universe in their smile, and glimpsing eternity in how they make you feel.

99. ask me anything.

Well, this sure is awkward. If you read all this, congrats! You know more about me now than my own parents probably do. Have a great night, everyone.

#me #ask meme #99 questions #this was fun to do

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benedictgolde · 6 years ago

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The Athens Marathon

Day 12

Clear, clean and crisp; my favourite weather and time coming together in a sweet combination to make this morning’s 8 miler the perfect start of the week. With that in mind, today’s blog post is going to be another running story. This time of my first marathon: Athens 2015.

(Today’s miles - featuring a silly hat.)

It was early 2015 and the band were touring the UK. We were in Brighton and had arrived early, deciding to head to the beach in our pre-show time to take in the sea air. That same day had been the Brighton Marathon so the beach front was swarming with finisher t-shirts, bright shiny medals and some funny looking walking (post-marathon legs). Muss and me, both being into running, started a conversation about completing a marathon being on both our bucket lists. The atmosphere in Brighton felt electric and you could see the accomplishment beaming on people’s faces. We both agreed that we should just enter one, and not just any marathon – one that was in an adventurous place that neither of us had ever been.

After a quick search on the internet, we had decided on the Athens marathon; it was far enough away that both of us could train for it, it was a place neither of us had ever been and it’s called the ‘authentic’ marathon as it is the very place in which the marathon distance originates from. It ticked all the boxes. Prior to entering, I’d never really adhered to any formal training plan. I would typically run 5/6 times a week but would rarely track distance or time. The furthest I’d ran at that point was about 10 miles, so I went about getting a proper training plan that included nutrition in order to clock up the mileage. This is when running really became more than just a casual hobby for me, the start of what has developed into a huge part of who I am now.

About 4/5 months, many training miles and a couple of hundred bowls of porridge later, a leaner and (sort-of) marathon trained version of me was boarding the flight to Athens, with both Muss and his brother. In the lead-up to the race I’d gotten quite nervous, suddenly realizing the task that was in front of me. My longest training run had been a 22 miler and I’d made the decision to just run and see what time I came in.

At the time, I was unaware of what I was capable of in running as well as not being too bothered seeing that it was my first marathon. We boarded the flight slightly giddy with nerves and I distinctly remember us all joking about who would end up on the bus. The bus being an actual bus that picks up any stragglers who have failed to complete the course in the cut off time, which is typically something like 7 hours. Muss’ brother seemed concerned, although you would have to walk at a relatively slow pace for the entire 26.2 miles in order to stand any chance of being on the bus. We arrived in Athens and headed straight for the Expo, the atmosphere took me right back to Brighton, if not even being more charged as this time we were taking part – plus we were in Greece. Athens is an absolutely stunning city. If you haven’t been before, then I seriously recommend it. It might even be the best city I’ve been to in Europe so far. The expo was full of excitement, we collected our numbers and took a nervous pre-race picture. That evening we decided to take it easy as the race was the following morning. We went out for a nice meal and a small walk around our hostel’s area, which was perfectly situated bang in the centre of Athens – an easy 5 minute walk from the finish line on normal legs (it took me a good 15 post-marathon). A few more jokes about the bus were thrown around. Due to the time difference, our bodies were about 3 hours behind, which meant the 5am alarm came as a bit more of a shock than anticipated. The Athens marathon route means that you have to get a coach to the town of Marathon and then you run the 26.2 miles back to Athens, finishing in the Panathinaiko Stadium. The coach journey took a while, which was sort of expected, all I could think in my mind was the fact that if it took that long in a coach, then imagine what it would feel like on the feet. Upon arriving at the race village in the sports stadium within Marathon, my nerves turned to pure excitement. The sun was just popping its head over the mountains as we started our pre-race warm ups. At the time, I wasn’t that clued up to what a warm up entailed so we sort of just jogged around the track with all the other runners - if in doubt, copy everybody else.

Before we knew it, we were on the start line and the gun had sounded. The song How Deep Is Your Love by Calvin Harris was playing as we crossed the start; that song always taking me right back to that moment. The first thing I noticed was how many people had decided to immediately stop for a quick toilet break, just metres over the start line. All those nerves, I guess. I felt nothing but strong throughout the whole race. My mind was so focused on the moment that I didn’t even consider the fact I was running 26 miles, fully consumed in my stride.

For my nutrition, I’d opted for using what was provided at the feed stations - the segment of banana at the half way point was nothing but pure joy. There’s nothing quite like the taste of food when your body is in need of it. The course was pure beauty, the temperature was good and the atmosphere was amazing. Every little Greek town we passed through was full of spectators shouting “bravo, bravo” as we trod on by.

(All that hair, and the nose ring...)

As we rounded off into the city, I distinctly remember feeling quite emotional at mile 24. There’s definitely something about running long distances that evokes the emotive part of your brain. Running into the stadium was nothing short of incredible – if you watch the little video I made, I swear a lot because I was in disbelief that I was finishing and all those months of training were coming to a close. As I said earlier, at the time I wasn’t much of a runner in terms of time etc, but it was after this marathon that I really got into it and started to reach the PB’s I’ve managed to achieve.

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Anybody who has completed a marathon will know how it feels when you cross the finish line and you take those first few steps at walking pace. Oh my does it come as a shock. Your legs don’t work properly for a good few days after and stairs become your worst nightmare – particularly walking down them. Muss, his brother and myself celebrated well that night, proceeding to have some of the most memorable few days of my entire life. For whatever reason, later on that night, we decided to try and run up acropolis – the term ‘recovery’ jog could be used but we were just being silly.

I think everyone should have a go at the Marathon at some point in their life. Especially if you are a runner or someone who enjoys running. There is something about knowing you’ve completed a distance like that, which makes other areas of life feel a lot easier. There’s also something about knowing you’ve done something a lot of others haven’t, it makes you feel just a little smug.

I love running. I’m not sure that you’ve been able to tell from reading these posts? Anyway, 12 days in – that’s almost half way. How time flies! Peace & love. BG

#athens marathon #athens #greece #blog #daily blog #running #Athens marathon 2015 #acropolis #travel #run #running blog #ukrunner #ukrunchat #Benedict golde #monday runday

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