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misguidedasgardian · 10 months ago

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VI. The Grand Finale

MASTERLIST

Summary: Endings, beginnings and crossroads

Warnings: Cursing, cheating, adultery, talks about body shaming, therapy, misogynistic undertones (“man of the house” and whatnot), Harwin is not a good person on this… and Jace isn’t either, implied tampering with birth control, spy cameras, a bit creepiness, pregnancy, inappropriate relationship MIGHT MISS SOME WARNINGS

+ 18 MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 3,4 k

Notes: THE END TO THIS KINKY STORY! Sorry for the delay… I have been so blocked its funny and sad

Pregnant

The small screen teased you, but soon the vision was blurry because of your tears

This couldn’t be happening, just couldn’t… You took those bloody pills religiously, you…

It was completely possible, you chided yourself, this was a perfect timing, four months since the first week you and Jace…

You whined, sitting on the toilet in the bathroom

What were you going to do?

Gods, you were going to be a single mother of two

Two children

Two under two…

You whimpered in fear, hugging yourself as you sat in the closed toilet

What did you do?

How were you going to move forwards?

Gods, what were you going to tell Harwin? You HAD to keep seeing him because of Aerea, what were you going to tell him when he catches on that you are pregnant again? Gods… you were going to get a divorce and you were going to need to prove that it wasn’t his so… You whined

You were almost thankful Jace was now out of the picture, got bored of you and left, you felt almost relieved.

But at the same time, it frightened you

Are you going to be able to do this alone?

Well, your job had incredible benefits and a daycare and… you could work from home and… you whined again

You loved children, you didn’t want to interrupt the pregnancy, you specially loved this little one inside of you, you always wanted a big family

You whipped you tears off of your face, you grabbed your things, and you went to work as nothing was happening.

Everything was going to be alright, it had to be

The news at your job was received happily, all things considered, and as a few weeks went by, you were getting accustomed to the idea, of course, you HAD to tell Harwin at some point, but that is something you were not ready to face yet.

Aerea was with him this week and that gave you time to daydream about the nursery you were going to prepare in the room that wa supposed to become your study

You dropped your bag and coat on one of the couches and sighed loudly, your stomach grumbled, you were being hit constantly with weird cravings and you were dreaming about chicken nuggets with that special edition sauce of the movie “Prehistoric Valyria”, you grabbed the phone and make the order, and you waited patiently for it to arrive

And then the doorbell rang. You were surprised since it had been only like 20 minutes, you went straight to the door and opened without even looking through the “peephole”, Gods you were going to wish you had

You opened the door and when you saw who it was, you gasped, dropping your phone to the floor. He chuckled, with that devilish smirk you knew all too well.

“Jace! What are you doing here?”, you asked as soon as he entered your apartment, he grabbed your phone from the floor quickly, he didn’t give it back to you, he just looked around with a shy smile.

“You are not happy to see me?”, he teased, finally looking back at you, “I would have let you know I was coming but you blocked me so…”, he teased, he wasn’t even angry or mad you blocked him.

“How did you know I was here?”, you asked then, because his timing was… very particular, he had always been… precise in his timing, it was concerning.

“I asked around”, you didn’t believe he asked Harwin, but he was a Targaryen, he had the resources

“You are supposed to be at college!”, you said then, worried

“I dropped out”, he said lightly

“No…”, you whined, “Jace, no! you are going to ruin your career”, you said, worried and concerned. He now didn’t seem to be the testosterone-driven young guy, he only seemed to be… someone else

“My business took off”, he said plainly, “I’ve come here to tell you…”, he said then, trying to lighten up the mood

“Well, I am happy for you”, you said back, not really knowing what this might be about, “and you discovered where I was, and came all the way here… to tell me that?”, you murmured

“No silly". He said smiling widely, “I’m here to prove to you, I’m a grown man that can take care of himself and care for you too”, he said simply, that…. you were not expecting

“What are you talking about?”, you asked, truly concerned

“We are great together, and now, we can finally be together, a couple, you are divorcing my father aren’t you?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean…”

“Yes it does”. He said, “we are great together are we not?”, he asked, his eyes looked all over your body, like he was looking for something in particular, made you feel uncomfortable

“That we are good at fucking doesn’t mean we are good together and at being a couple”, you said bluntly, you did not like where this was going, “and furthermore, Jacaerys, this should have never happened in the first place, I don’t want to be with you anymore”, you said, looking everywhere but his eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest. You hear him laugh bitterly. But he didn’t seem angry, if anything, he seemed entertained

“Sure”, he mocked, “cut the shit! what is really going on?”, he demanded

“I mean it, Jace!”, you whined, but you didn’t, Jace sighed, rubbing his face in frustration, but then, he looked at you, really, really looked at you, and then, he smiled. he walked towards you, letting him, he placed his hands on your hips, it seemed like a soft gesture

“You are pregnant, aren’t you?”, he said with a big smile, you frowned

“No, I’m not!”. The doorbell rang, and you rushed to open it, the delivery man handed you the package without further delay

“Enjoy your chicken nuggets with the special edition sauce”, he said, and left without even glancing at your direction. You turned around looking guilty with your treat in your hands

“The only time I have ever seen you eat chicken nuggets is when you were pregnant with Aerea”, he said with a cheeky smile on his lips. “You are a terrible liar!”, he mocked

“Whatever the answer to your question is, it doesn’t concern you”, you continued, you needed to fight this battle, and you needed to win it, of all the scenarios in your head, Jace being the active dad wasn’t in any of them, less of it you being together as a couple and having this child.

“Oh, it doesn't concern me?”, he mocked, “I wonder is you reproduce on your own like the dragons in Jurassic Valyria, which the limited edition sauce came from, by the way”. he snapped, and you growled angrily

“It might be Harwin’s”, you lied shamesly, not only admitting it, but now he finally showed some anger, he froze on the spot, his dark brown eyes looking for any glimpse of a lie

“What? when?”, he demanded, jealous and angry

“It has to be!”, you said, more convincingly, maybe if you gaslit yourself you were going to be able to gaslight him as well, “it only happened once, but it was when he had moved back in, one night I didn’t want to get out of my room, I forgot to take the pill, and that night he…entered my room, we chatted and we did it”

Yes you were relying on placebo pills, Jace thought, good for nothing pills and you were using that to determine the paternity of the baby that it was obviously his

“What happened?”, he asked gently, trying to contain his anger

“He came at night… I had some wine…”, Jace opened his eyes in rage, he shaked and you honestly thought that he was going to start hitting the walls or something

“You are lying to me”, he said with certainty, and you needed to keep yourself together, “I’m gonna kill him!”, he grunted

“No!”, you said quickly, “it doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t know, yet… and I’m not going back together with him either way”, you tried to deviate from the conflict and massive lie

“We will come back to killing him later, but it doesn't matter, it is mathematically impossible for him to be the father, if you only did it one time, that baby is mine!”, he said, convinced

“Jace, please”, you begged him, now desperately, how can he be so thick-headed?

“You are going to make him think its his?”, he asked, angrily, “I’m sure you are lying to me, and you didn’t even fuck him, you want to drive me away”

“No Jacey, I’m not going to make him believe its his, but it doesn’t matter!” you whined, “of course I want to drive you away! take the win, alright?”

“What do you mean by that?”, he asked, frowning

“I’m not holding you up to this, I can do it alone…”, you said convincingly

“But I want to…”, he said back

“No you don’t! please, this will ruin your life Jace”

“Ruin my life?”, he asked, “I came back for you! we'll be together, you, me, our babies”

“Jacaerys!”, you called, desperately, he was making this so much difficult that it had to be

“You want to be with me! I want to be with you!”, he said, increasingly more desperate, “I don’t buy a word you are saying”

“But this is way more complicated Jace”, you said, “please I don’t want to drag you into this”

“It takes two to dragondance my love, we are in this together”, he said softly, caressing your upper arms

“Its Harwin’s”, you said, “it is the only time I missed the pill, it had to be”, Jace wanted to scream

“I want a paternity test”, he said gently. “there are none-invasive ones…”

“I’m aware”, you said

“Are you keeping this up?”, he asked, “you know it's mine, I know you would have never let him touch you again, don’t fight this anymore”, he said gently coercing you, and gods it was working. Why did he have to be who he was? your husband’s son? you only looked at the floor between you as you felt his big warm hand on your arms, trying to coarse you into looking into his eyes, effectively losing the battle

“It's mine, you and I together, and our babies, is the only thing I’ve ever wanted”, he said softly as a siren’s song

“You don’t know what you are saying”, you whined, eyes filled with tears, “please Jacey, I don’t want to ruin your life, you already dropped off, I… I’m going to ruin you”, you cried

“You didn’t ruin anything… you helped me, you gave me space, and time, and because of you, me and my friend’s little company if being featured in the Citadel’s and… we are coming in green the first year”

“What?”, you whined

“I dropped out because I’m already a fucking millionare”, he said with a wide smile, “and I need to focus a fifty percent on the business”

“What about the other fifty percent?”, you asked

“To you, Aerea, and our baby”, he said softly, you sighed

“Jace, you don’t even know…”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?”, he didn’t yell, but you can tell he was getting exasperated

“Jace! you don’t know what is like… the last time I got pregnant, it was a horrible pregnancy, you are not going to want to be with me anymore once I start bloating like a blowfish…”, you tried him by other fronts

“My father was a cunt”, he muttered, “I’m not my father…”

“You think in the romantic part, not in the real one, sleepless nights, showerless days, having and raising a child is hard, and though…”

“I know that, from all my siblings, I was actively involved in three of the births and first years”, he said gently, you shook your head

“Please, leave now, because if you leave in the middle I…”, bitter tears started falling down your eyes, “I will not be able to take it, please!”, you tried to get away from him, but he just wouldn’t let you, he grabbed you and hugged you tightly against his chest, and you just sobbed

“You will be alright, I’m here”, he said, caressing your back softly, you couldn’t see it, but oh how was he smiling, “You won’t have to worry about a thing love, I will take care of you…”

He was so good with Aerea, he was so good with his little siblings, maybe… just maybe…

You could just, let go

He leaned in, kissing your cheek, you were so tired, so emotionally drained that you let him kiss your tears off your cheeks, and then his greedy mouth started kissing you in the neck, right up to that sweet little spot that made you moan.

Gods… you were so sensitive, and he was so… delicious

The damage was done right?

You didn’t want to fight it anymore. You surrounded his strong shoulders with your arms drawing him more to you. Gods you had been so sensitive, so horny the past few weeks, it was the hormones, you thought, but no matter… No more trying to resolve this “issue” alone, you had him.

Oh Gods, you were expecting his child, Jace’s child, he didn’t abandon you, he was just finishing some matters that he needed to attend to, his plan was coming back… for you…

You didn’t know if you wanted to throw up or feel incredibly relieved

He sucked on your pulse joint making you see stars, and moaned shamesly, Gods you had missed this, missed him, who were you kidding? he growled, like an animal in heat, and grabbed you by the thighs, making you surround his hips with your legs. He took you to your bedroom, and almost dropped you in the bed, his shirt was already out of him by the time he caught onto you, devouring you again. He was hungry for you and you for him, well, for any kind of contact actually

“You are so fucking mean, trying to keep me away”, he growled, literally ripping the clothes off of your body, “keeping my baby from me”

“Jace”, you tried to chide

“Keep pretending I’m not the best fuck you ever had”. he continued, kissing down your neck, biting too, “Nobody can fuck you like I can, nobody can breed you like I can”, his hands sneaked under your panties, and to no one’s surprise, you were soaked. You moaned when he sneaked two fingers in, fingering you, squelching noises making you shiver with embarrassment, but it was easily beaten by the pleasure he made you feel.

He didn’t make you beg, gladly, in a few minutes he was fucking you slowly, not stopping but slowly, letting you adjust to his size, gods he was so big. He filled you so perfectly

“Fuck I missed this cunt”, he grunted with a smirk

“Ever the romantic”, you grunted, which turned into a moan because of a hard thrust

He took you in your bed, kissing every spot on your body, he made love to you desperately and sensually, making all the walls you put up stumble.

You were surprised to see a phone call from Harwin the next morning, and you raised your head to see it, Jace having you trapped between his arms as he was sleeping.

“Hey Harwin, is Aerea alright?”, you asked

“She is fine, we were just… putting everything in boxes around the house and, I found some cameras? I really wanted to say that I’m so sorry for making you feel you had to install cameras in our home to prove my infidelity, I never brought her home, I wanted you to know”, he said, he sounded so conflicted. But you frowned

“Cameras? What are you talking about Harwin?”, you asked

“I found a camera in our room, and then another in the living room”, he said, now he was truly concerned, you could hear it

“They aren’t mine”, you said, sitting on the bed, Jace grumbled at your side, but didn’t wake, or at least, you thought so

“If they are not yours, and they are not mine, who are they?”, he asked. You whined, concerned, was it Aemond? no, there was no possible way he could have installed cameras in your place, no way, at least he sneaked in, but that sounded so insane, you didn’t even entertain that possibility. You stood up from the bed to continue the conversion in private.

“I’ll send you a picture”, immediately you checked it, it was a small round camera, cordless, in the side it had a strange symbol

“That’s the brand?”, you asked, gods, if that camera was pointing at your bed, for how long it had been recording? you suddenly felt cold, cold sweat running down your back

Gods

“Harwin”, you called, he hummed back, “I need to ask you something, tell you, more or less”

“I know, I’m sorry for not telling you, I went back to her”, he cut you

“To your co-worker?”, you asked, feeling relieved, at least you weren’t the only one with the 22 year old

“Yes, I’m sorry”

“It’s fine Harwin, at least it was worth something, but still this doesn’t answer the cameras”

“We will figure it out”, he said firmly

“You are not the one that had been filmed for who knows how long”, you muttered

“We will figure it out”, that sounded like a promise, “I’ll call a guy, and I’ll let you know”, he said trying to hang up

“Harwin”, you called again

“Yes?”, he asked back

“I’m sorry”, you mumbled

“For what?”, he asked

“Please don’t hate me”, you asked hopefully

“I could never hate you”, he said with certainty

“Never say never”

“Look I need to go, I’ll talk to you later, please don’t be upset, relaxed”, you barely nodded, a single tear fell from your eye, when he finds out what you had been doing, he was never going to forgive you

You sat on the couch, signing loudly, not knowing what to think

You had to freak out, didn’t you? you felt weirdly calm, like you had some sort of drug that didn’t allow you to feel anything anymore, maybe it was just the good sex.

But then, as you saw Jace’s bag that you haven't seen before, his laptop was peeking out of it, and in it… there was a sticker.

Another tear fell down your eye, but you whipped it quickly when he showed up

“Was what that about”, you looked up at him, trying to hide what you just found out

“Nothing, it's just hard”, you muttered, he smiled at you, only wearing his boxers, he placed his hand on your shoulder

He had been spying on you

“We have a dinner tonight”, he said simply, you raised an eyebrow to look at him

“What?”

“A dinner, in my mother’s house”, he said so easily, like you were a normal couple

“Jace”, you called, like he had finally snapped

“What?”, he chuckled

“Do you think that is appropriate?”, you asked, “is not your birthday anymore”, he looked down at you with a smirk, and a dark look in his eyes you didn’t like, that plus… the camera

“She knows”, your heart stopped then and there

“What?”, that smile made you shiver

“Oh darling, she knows”

“How? why?”

“Well, she suspected by my birthday and then I had to tell her, when Aemond visited you trying to blackmail you to fuck him”. And then you stopped breathing

“You knew?”, you choked out

“I found out”, his demeanor, his stance, his eyes… his smirk, your bottom lip quivered, more tears fell down your eyes

“Don’t cry love, the only one left is my father, then, we can finally start our lives together”, he leaned in and kissed you on the cheek. “And don’t you worry about work, already called them and explained, they will send your things”

Alright! this is it! had to make it short, sweet, kinky and a bit dark! I know it leaves a bit open... but I want your kinky minds to fill in the gaps! muahaha what was the saying... "Is worse what you imagine?" maybe is in spanish! hehe anyways thank you for reading and hopefully I'll see you in my next kinky history.

taglist! @champomiel @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sweethoneyblossom1 @lukepattersin @ladylyanna91 @snowflake-latte @bruher @bellstwd @inesven @iamavailablesstuff @haydee5010 @happinessinthebeing @agqrtz @ajanauia @joliettes @lightdragonrayne @ivoryluvs @fairysluna @cumslutforaemond @possiblyafangirl

#misguidedblurred #jacaerys strong #jacaerys velaryon #harwin strong #hbo house of the dragon #jacaerys x y/n #jacaerys x reader #jacaerys x you #jacaerys x oc

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that-darn-clown · 6 months ago

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thought about Sammy, Mike, and their kids in the Rewrite. so have the kids asking what would normally be innocent questions, while their dads try to keep themselves from traumadumping on their children!

Cassie: Dad, how come I've never met Aunt Charlotte or Grandpa? You and Uncle Mike talk about them all the time. :(

Sammy:

Sammy: Uh...I'll tell you when you're older, sweetheart.

Cassie: Dad, I keep meeting this girl in my dreams!! She looks like she's around Cam's age and she looks like me!! She calls herself "Charlie," too!! I think I'm talking to Auntie Charlie, Dad!! :D :D

Sammy: Oh, that's...That's lovely, sweetie... (< screaming internally for Multiple reasons)

Gregory: Dad, the yellow bear you gave me is randomly talking to me. :/

Mike: ...Oh, well...that's a little weird! Hm! That shouldn't happen! (< Also screaming internally)

Gregory: Dad, why do you randomly call me 'Cassidy?'

Mike:

Mike: Well, uh...I'm just calling you by your middle name! Yep! Nothing else!

Gregory: Hey, whose room and toys were these?

Jeremy: Uh...one of your uncles'.

Gregory: ...Which one?

Mike and Jeremy: ...

Mike: Hey, who wants to head to the diner-?

and then you've got the difference in how Mike and Jeremy talk with Cameron (who's closer to 11-12 by the time HW and SB happen):

Cameron: Dad, why is my middle name 'Liz?'

Jeremy, doing dishes: Because Mike had a little sister named Elizabeth. We all called her "Liz," though.

Cameron: ...Why are you using past tense?

Jeremy: Why do you think you've never met your Aunt Liz?

Cameron: ...Oh.

Cam: Okay, so I've noticed something. Uncle Sammy talks about his dad all the time. Pops* takes us to go visit Mimaw and Papa all the time. Why is it whenever Dad's dad gets brought up, we change the subject?

Mike: Because, to be frank, my father sucked.

Cam: ...How badly?

Jeremy: Why do you think all of us are in therapy?

Cam: ...Point made.

Cam: So, whose room did Greg get?

Mike and Jeremy, simultaneously: Cassidy's.

Cam: ...Cassidy?

Mike: My baby brother who was gone too soon.

Cam: ...Y'know what? I think I know enough from that.

(* Greg and Cam call Jeremy and Mike something different so to not confuse them. Mike is "Dad" and Jeremy is "Pops.")

Real shit

#the clown! it speaks!#the clown! it answers!#as a curious kid with a wild as shit family i relate to this shit so hard #i also imagine them going to mike and he doesnt tell them what happened. so they go to sammy and he doesnt tell them what happened #so the next day they go back to mike #and this happens forever until one of them spills the beans #because i did that shit all the time as a kid

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supercool-here · 10 months ago

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Therapy sessions at uni, second session

Oh damn, we´re so back at it. I actually had my second session last thursday. It was great. I really appreciate my therapist. You don´t know the power of having good people around you until you have them and see their influence in your life. He is a professional, and I am thankful he is always gentle and tells me I´m doing good when I am. It means a lot to me. This time I was able to initiate most of the talk, and I told him the stuff I learned over the few days I didn´t see him, like how I am the one limiting myself so much, how I am insecure and etc. My next session is not until late april, but I´m excited to bring him good news; he gave me many exercises to practice talking and being more confident expressing myself.

I´ve been having a hard time though. There are things I haven´t talked about in therapy. This weekend I´ve been in a really bad mood almost everyday, either I start comparing myself with others and that brings me down, or I don´t get something I want and I feel frustrated, or for example yesterday my mom told me "you are twenty years old you can act accordingly" and that made me feel so angry and frustrated because I often feel like my family treats me like a child, and I recognize I comply to that but one thing that has been on my mind for years now is that I want to be capable of all the things an adult woman is capable of and I´ve imagined myself telling them about this so many times but I´ve never done it. I was so frustrated in all these situations, and I kept thinking "I have to express myself, I can´t bottle up my feelings" but there are things I don´t want to talk about with anyone, let alone my family. Because I understand it must be frustrating for them also seeing that I am in a bad mood and not knowing the reason and asking me about it and me just shrugging. But I can´t just tell them in the middle of a party "well I feel really ugly and I look at all these girls here and I feel like a cockroach and I really wish I was home in my pajamas watching tv instead of here feeling ridiculous and disgusting". Plus what would that do for anyone? For me maybe I´d at least have the feelings out of my system but I am not expecting them to give a good response to that, I would love it if all they could say was "sorry, it´ll be fine", but my mom would roll her eyes, even tho she has insecurities too, except she is good at sweeping them under the rug and expects me to do the same but I can´t; my dad wouldn´t say anything, which is a break; my sister would give me some patronizing speech; my other sister would echo her. And it would be very overwhelming. (the only pro is that they would get to know what is on my mind, which is good because I do want them to know me and I want to open myself to them) So I try to calm myself down but I can´t and I can only breath freely again once we´re out of the salon going into the car. I can´t tell them "behaving as a 20 year old girl is the thing I want the most in this world but do you ever help me with that? No. But nevermind, I don´t need you to help me with that, after all I am a twenty year old girl so if you really mean it, I will start acting as such. I´ll have more initiative. I´ll want things and try to get them. I´ll go places. I´ll say things. I´ll meet people. And I won´t ask for your permission, I will only ask if you´d like to join" I really wish I could say those things, but it low-key sounds more like a tantrum and that is exactly what children do. Funny.

Today I tried being brave and good to myself. I made a mid-size mistake. I panicked. I hate making mistakes because it hurts my pride (which is the only armor I´ve had in my life, tho it turns out, it hurts you more than it protects you) and it makes me feel miserable and it is one of the thousands of things that make me spiral and hate myself and ultimately want to die (or vanish into a void and come out as a different person). So my very coward instinctive response to oopsies is crying, and either denying or hiding my mistake. So the thing is that on the way home I told myself I will change this. My worth and confidence will no longer be rooted in pride. I won´t be scared of making mistakes nor, what´s even more terrifying, facing the consequences. Often times, consequences to mistakes involve someone else´s feelings. In this occasion, it was my mom´s, whom I knew would forgive me and laugh it off, and my dad´s, whom I knew would be mad, and could express it in many different ways that can really twist my guts and make me feel horrible (even tho that is absolutely not his intention, he just doesn´t know bottling up his emotions doesn´t mean he is completely hiding them). The second I am always very scared of. That is the reason why I hate telling my dad things. I never know how he´ll react. I dread it. But that is cowardly. And I told myself I will be brave, I will do this. So instead of hiding the truth from my dad until he somehow found out, I resolved I would tell him upfront, and if he did something that made me feel shit I would forgive him, and if he was brutally mad I would stand up for myself. The problem is that this resolution took me about 40 minutes (all the way home from the hospital where I made my oopsie) and when I told him he was indeed mad, not just because of the mistake itself, but because I had waited so long to tell him. I am trying to forgive myself, because after all I am not used to being brave, that is not my instinct, it took me 40 minutes to calm down, let the stream of tears go away, and come to a good decision. I am hoping in the future being brave will come to my mind much sooner than the panic and the tears and the fear, and I will own up to my mistakes much faster. But today, this is all I could achieve. I am feeling very guilty. And my mind tortured me in fifty different ways before I could calm down (such as the thoughts "they will never trust you again with serious things" "this is why they treat you like a child" "your sister never makes mistakes like this one, and if she does she knows how to solve them" "x person you envy so much would never make a mistake like this because she is all the things you are not" "you shouldn´t have come with dad, you weren´t of any help, you just gave him trouble") But I am glad I tried. I try to feel good for having been brave (braver than usual, certainly not braver than most) but the feeling is not stronger than the guilt. Yet, it is there, and that is enough for now.

Things I want to mention in the next session:

I hate making mistakes and owning up to them, BUT I fought it!

I compare myself a lot (I will not mention the mild eating disorder I had as a teenager unless the therapist asks)

What can I do with the unpleasant feelings I cannot express? I know I recognize what trigger them. I don´t want to bottle them up (not like I could anyway) but I want to be in a good mood for the sake of the people around me (often my family) and also for my own sake because life is too short to live it at the expense of my feelings and bad times and hard times. I want to choose happiness

My thoughts tend to spiral. A lot. In a bad direction

I have envy issues. Ugly issues. I don´t want to envy every person I´ve loved because it is destroying me.

Things to try:

All the exercises the therapist has given me

Maybe looking for self-regulation techniques?

MORE oopsies and MORE owning up to them (facing the consequences)

Definitely gentle self talk.

#therapy journal #therapy #therapy session 2 #second therapy session #personal #ps. I sometimes really wish I could talk to someone like my therapist when I am having a hard time #Someone who listens and doesn´t necessarily see themselves in a position to tell me what to do #I sometimes don´t want instructions or answers I just want to be heard and know I´m not alone

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sunnyie-eve · 2 years ago

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1 | Nevermore

Series: Valentine Addams | Wednesday

Paring: (Xavier Thorpe x OFC Addams! Tyler Galpin x OFC Addams!)

Word Count: 1626

Warnings: talk of attempted murder

Next: Therapy

For over 200 years, Nevermore Academy, a private school, have welcomed outcasts of all kind, in the town of Jericho, Vermont. As Principal it is my honor to announce that Nevermore has accepted your application to attend this upcoming school year. Can't wait to for you to join our very unique school, Principal Larissa Weems.

"Mother, why wait till now to send me to Nevermore? You've talked about wanting your children to go where you and Father met since we were born?" I ask my mother.

"Because dear, no other school will take you after what you did to those two last school year. And I wanted to see if you children could work well in a normal school." My mother explains to me calmly.

"They had it coming." I look out the window. At the moment it was just mother and I on our way to Nevermore while Father stayed with Wednesday and Pugsley at home.

Stepping out of the car I take in the exterior of the school, "Looks just like I pictured it for a school for outcasts." I look over at my mother.

"You're going to love it here." She gives me a smile.

"I know if Wednesday was in my place she would find away to escape. She hates the thought or mention of this school." I say as we head inside to meet the principal.

"But you are not your sister. You are more accepting to some things. Yes, you both share some characteristics being twins but you each are your own person." She tells me as I look around the inside as we walk.

"Morticia, it's a pleasure to see you again. You must be Valentine? I'm guessing it was the day you were born?" Weems asks me as we sit in her office.

"I was born on Friday the 13th." I tell her, "My Grandmother named me after the origins of Valentine's Day. The Romans' celebrations were violent... The men would strip naked and sacrifice a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain." I explain to her and she just stares at me and my mother uncomfortably.

"The French origin meaning is strength and health. Originally you pronounce her name Val-en-teen, but many insist on pronouncing it like the holiday so we gave in except my mother." My mother adds.

"You've certainly had a very interesting educational journey. Ten schools in five years." Weems looks at me.

"My sister is at seven. But what can I say... students and teachers don't quite understand my ways at times. My mother says this school is different and will be good for me." I give her a smile.

"I believe you will fit right in with the rest of the students." She gives me a smile back.

"And her therapy sessions... The court ordered them." My mother gives me a look so I roll my eyes. "The school has a relationship with a therapist in Jericho. She can meet twice a week. Now, I've assigned you to Ophelia Hall. Let's go meet your roommate, shall we?"

When we get to my dorm I see a girl with long brown hair wearing blackout round sunglasses. "Meet your new roommate is Yoko Tanaka, she's a vampire. Yoko, this is Valentine Addams." Weems introduces us.

"Hey." She nods her head at me.

"Hey." I do the same then see her uniform on her bed. "I have to wear that color as well?" I look at it.

"When we got your application we've special order you a uniform. Yoko, please take Valentine to the registrar's office to pick it up along with her schedule, and give her a tour along the way." Weems tells her so she gets up. "I'll walk you back to your car. Valentine, say goodbye to your mother." Weems smiles.

"I know you'll love Nevermore and find it as life-changing as I did." My mother gives me a smile.

"I hope it'll be a perfect fit for me. I'm tired of jumping from schools to schools." I give her a smile back.

"I'm sure it will be, darling." She touches my face. "Now, we can't talk to you the first week so next week we'll give you a call to see how you're doing." She places the crystal ball on my desk.

"I'll be looking forward to it." I smile and we do a tiny hug before I leave with Yoko.

"Are you anything? Vampire, Werewolf, Gorgon, Siren, Psychic?" Yoko asks me.

"Psychic but also a tad psychotic at times." I turn my head to look at her.

"You won't try stake me in my sleep will you?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Only if you get on my bad side. Kinda the reason why I'm here. Two people last year got on my bad side. Neither of them died though from what I did to them." I chuckle as she shows me around the school. She shows me the clichés of each group and tells me a bit about everyone.

"You must be Yoko's new roommate. She told me she was getting one before school started. I'm Enid Sinclair, a werewolf. And you are?" She puts her hand out.

"Valentine Addams, a psychotic psychic." I shake her hand as she looks at me with wide eyes.

"A tad, only if you get in her bad side." Yoko adds.

"Okay..." Enid smiles tagging along with us as we go pick up my uniform and schedule.

"So Valentine, do you have any social media accounts?" Enid asks me.

"I do. I'm the only one in my family that does." I say as we sit at a table in the quad.

"Do you ever wear color?"

"If I do it's only red. My closet is majority black, some white, a little red, and there could be a tiny bit purple. Specifically dark red and dark purple." I tell her as she goes on her phone.

"Whose your new friend?" A boy in a beanie walks up to the table.

"My new roommate, Valentine." Yoko tells him.

"Like the holiday. I'm Ajax by the way." He takes a seat.

"Hello, and yes like the holiday but because of the dark origins." I tell him.

"You almost killed two people at your last school!" Enid gasps looking at me.

"The articles are misleading and missing information. They say I was a jealous crazy ex. That's not true and I didn't try choking her to death nor did I drop a brick on his head." I huff making them look at me.

"What did you do?" Ajax asks.

"Not what they said I did. Now, excuse me. I'm going to my dorm to get things ready for my therapy session tomorrow." I get up leaving the table.

So far Nevermore didn't seem that bad from what I've seen and taken in. As I was walking a picture caught my attention and I see my mother in the fencing group photo. "I swear you were born with that hair." I shake my head at the photo.

"Valentine Addams." A boy stands next to me looking at the photo with me.

"Let me guess, Enid already put me on her blog? She forgot the second D in Addams?" I turn to face him and he looked familiar as he smiles.

"She did. Both. I'm Xavier, Xavier Thorpe." He tells me his name and it rings a bell.

"That's why you look familiar. My sister saved your life from being cremated with your godmother. I remember telling you that was terrible idea but you insisted."

"I'm surprised you still remember." He chuckles.

"Why wouldn't I remember you and your intelligent idea?" I chuckle as well, "I'll probably never forget that day because of your hiding place. It brings me joy that I was right." I tell him.

"Xavier!" A girl calls out his name making us turn to look at her.

"Girlfriend?" I ask him.

"Yeah, Bianca. See you around, Valentine." He leaves me so I go to my room to get settled in.

"You didn't say orange was in your color palette." Yoko walks into our room.

"It goes with Halloween and that's my favorite day of the year." I say typing on my laptop.

I had a typewriter, just like Wednesday, I used at time because it was a birthday gift to the both of us but I prefer my laptop. Wednesday didn't understand why I would be a slave to technology. One of a few things we didn't have in common. Like mother said we have some similarities but we are each our own person. Wednesday wasn't one for emotions, whether that be showing or caring about others feelings. Me on the other hand is the opposite most of the time. There are times where I will act cold, careless, and heartless to others. We both have sadistic tendencies with a dark personality and take turns on whose the darkest. I personally say she is since there's times where for fun she would try to kill Pugsley growing up.

"So you have to go into town tomorrow for a therapy session. Because you want to or have to?" Yoko asks me.

"Court order but I've been going to many different therapists since I was ten because of other court orders. Normal people don't tend to agree with how I function as a person. I don't mind going to them because I like to see how long they can last before quitting." I explain to her.

"You're very odd and out there Valentine."

She says making me smile, "I take that as a compliment. My sister would too but would prefer it in a ruder way. She's worst than me in some departments."

#wednsday addams #wednesday #xavier thrope fanfic #xavier thrope #tyler galpin #tyler galpin fanfic #xavier thrope imagine #tyler galpin imagine #enid sinclair #bianca barclay #ajax petropolus #yoko tanaka #eugene ottinger #divina wednesday #kent wednesday

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janetbrown711 · 4 years ago

Note

"how do you think this ends?"

Despite Lena’s hopes and dreams that when the morning came everything would feel as right in the world as it had when the little family had fallen asleep, it wasn’t true. When she awoke (for whatever reason, she was the first), she walked out of the room and was immediately surrounded by maids and servants pestering her with their endless questions. Of course, she knew why they were asking, she was supposed to be dead.

She did her best to explain the situation and told them that her mother had died in an avalanche at Acme Falls. This, however, made the situation worse, as then officials and advisors soon got word and started to try and plan things out with her, and Lena wanted none of it. It was early- hell, she was still in her nightgown and robe. She just wanted to take an early stroll around her home, but nope.

Then again, what did she expect? Come back from the dead and people are going to have questions.

Still. Being swarmed with questions and having plans and ideas thrown in her face that early was too much. She yearned to return to bed, but by the time she successfully convinced them to stop, it was likely too late.

So instead, she went to the kitchen and began to chop up some fruit, a skill she had gotten quite good at over the past year. She couldn’t do a lot, so she liked to help Helloise and Doctor Scratchnsniff prepare food, usually while they talked about things. Now all Lena could think of as she chopped was that of her offer.

She had written a letter last night asking for their assistance. In all honesty, she was ashamed. She thought returning home would do a lot to heal everything they went through over the past year, but Dot’s nightmare quickly told her otherwise. Because of her nativity, she had to write a letter offering and asking them to come to the palace to be the royal psychologist and counselor not just for Dot, but likely Wakko and perhaps even Yakko too. Goodness knows all of her kids must’ve been through hell under the care of her mother.

Lena paused and placed a hand on her cheek. She sighed.

Lena continued cutting fruit.

She hoped they were hungry- she was making a lot- goodness.

Well- she knew Wakko would be anyway. Her poor boy... he was so light to carry. Angelina must’ve locked him in the tower before the Wishing Star, and probably didn’t feed him.

Her mother deserved far, far worse than death.

But it was what needed to be done. She didn’t regret it. Not one bit.

Hopefully, they’d use all this food for the picnic they’d be having-

It was still winter. Snow was outside. They couldn’t have a picnic.

No. They’d just have one inside. It’s what Wakko wanted- who was she to take that away from him?

She continued to cut, despite realizing she lost count of how many kiwis, strawberries, and star fruit she had sliced by now.

“Mom?” Wakko came out of nowhere, startling Lena and she cut her finger.

“Gah- Jesus Wakko, you can’t sneak up on me like that,” She quickly began to suck on it and look for a towel.

Wakko froze, dead in his tracks.

“I-i’m sorry, I-i didn’t mean to- I-i-” He stumbled over his apology.

“It’s alright, Wakko, I’m not-” But by the time Lena said that, he had run out of the kitchen.

“Dammit, Lena, now look at what you’ve done,” She muttered to herself, wrapping a rag around her finger and running off to go find Wakko.

Day one and she was already screwing up.

“Wakko? Where are you?” She called, looking under hall decor, behind curtains, and in almost every room she walked by.

“Wakko, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that,” She said, hearing sniffles come out of one bedroom. Lena knocked on the door softly.

“Wakko?” She said.

“I-i said I’m sorry, go away!” He shouted back.

“Wakko, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize, it was I who snapped at you,” She placed her hand that didn’t have a towel around it against the door.

“Go away! I only get people hurt,” He cried more.

“Wakko honey, no,” Lena wanted to go in, but the door was locked.

“Wakko, whatever your grandmother told you, she was wrong. You’re such a wonderful kid- energetic, compassionate, brave, and you give the best hugs,” She countered his statement. The prince paused.

“B-but it’s my fault D-dot died... they were aiming for me,” He countered, his words becoming mumbled.

“Wakko, it’s nobody’s fault but your grandmother and she’s already paid the price,” She said.

“She can’t hurt you anymore... so please... come out? I promise I’m okay.”

Wakko was quiet. Lena bit her lip.

“If you come out you can have a snack in the kitchen,” She said. Wakko must’ve responded positively to that because before she knew it there were shuffling noises, and he opened the door, though unable to make eye contact with his mother.

“I’m hungry,” he said.

“I know honey, let’s get you some food and water- I bet you’re dehydrated too, especially after all that crying,” Lena said, offering her hand. Wakko took it.

“Yeah,” was all he said. Lena gave his hand a comforting squeeze as they made their way back. Once there, she lifted him on the counter and started slicing more fruit, everything from apples to bananas, and handing them to him once finished. He ate slowly, but it seemed to be doing him a lot of good, as his mood increased dramatically once he got some food in his system.

“You feeling better?” She asked him. Wakko nodded. “Good,” Lena smiled and ruffled his fur a little. Lena always found it funny how he often liked to sleep with his red hat on, but who was she to judge.

“Now honey, I want to make things very clear with you: everything your grandmother ever told you or made you feel is false okay? I don’t want you saying it, I don’t want you thinking it. You are so much more than she ever thought, understood?” She placed her hand on his cheek, stroking his face with her thumb. Wakko leaned into it, nodding.

“Okay,” he agreed. Lena smiled softly.

“It’s not gonna be easy to undo what she’s done... but we’re going to figure it out together, understood?” She said. Wakko nodded again, eating an apple slice.

“I haven’t told your siblings yet, but in roughly a week's time, the good doctor from Acme Falls is going to start working at the palace to help you three heal from the abuse my mother put you through. He’s an emotions doctor and he’ll help you feel better, does that sound like something you want?” She said, going back to cutting fruit.

“Okay,” Wakko nodded, his tail twitching curiously. “What about you?” he asked.

Lena paused. “What about me?”

“Will he be helping you?” Wakko asked innocently. Lena looked down at her hands, then at the 20 or so fruits she sliced this morning.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’m going to have a lot more responsibilities than what I’m used to in the upcoming days- I’ll likely be too busy.”

“But you should be okay too,” Wakko frowned, reminding Lena of how observant he could be.

“I’ll be okay Wakko- I promise,” She looked at him. He scanned her face a minute before either believing it or just dropping it and going back to his apple slices.

After a moment of more slicing and handing to Wakko, Lena spoke again.

“We’re going to be having a picnic today, just like you wanted,” She said. Wakko’s face lit up.

“Really?! Isn’t it snowy?” Wakko tilted his head.

“We’ll be having it inside, but I think that hardly makes a difference. What do you think?” Lena asked him.

“Okay,” he gave a toothy grin.

“Good,” Lena nodded. “How about you go and get dressed and get your siblings ready so we can do that soon, hm?”

“Okay,” He said, jumping off the countertop, and scurrying out of the kitchen.

Good. At least he was somewhat back to his old self. That meant there was hope after all. He was still a kid- he deserved to be happy and young while he could.

With a sigh, Lena began to get bags out and put the sliced fruit into separate bags as kitchen workers started to come in and began preparing their breakfast. Once Lena finished, she quickly apologized and got out of their way, explaining what was going to happen later with the picnic and all. They understood, and she left.

Now she was on her own again. And still in her nightgown- Lena really needed to get changed. Quickly she went back to her room and went to her closet to get dressed but her fingers hovered over her dresses. It had been so long since she wore something so fancy... Would it even feel right anymore?

Of course it would, she was born a princess, she was just being ridiculous... right?

Lena sighed and changed into her usual purple dress.

Today was going to be interesting.

.o0o.

And interesting it was. Home for less than 24 hours and already advisors and courtiers were already throwing piles upon piles of papers onto the poor queen-to-be. After signing about fifty billion documents, she finally got them to leave her alone, stating she made plans with her family she fully intended to keep. Thankfully, since she was in charge, nobody argued otherwise, though she knew they were likely doubtful. She did her best not to dwell.

By the time she did finally join her family in the room they were having their picnic, Wakko and Dot were already finished with their food and running around chasing each other, nearly running into Lena as she stepped in, though they both paused to give her a hug before running off again.

“My, they’re energetic today,” Lena chuckled as she joined her husband and Yakko on the pillows.

“Last night was probably the best sleep they’ve gotten in a while, nightmare or not,” Yakko shrugged, eating a piece of bread.

“I don’t doubt that... I slept pretty well last night too,” William said mostly to himself, looking at Wakko and Dot fondly.

“It really has been a year, hasn’t it?” Lena looked at Yakko, sadness in her eyes. “We’ve missed so much...”

“Not a whole lot... I mean- there were birthdays and stuff, but not... well...” Yakko was reluctant to finish the sentence, but Lena understood perfectly.

“Not much good, no?” Lena sighed. “I’ll never forgive her for this... for any of this.”

William and Yakko nodded supportively.

“But... Dot’s birthday was nice. I even managed to sneak a cake, and we all had a big sleepover, which was fun,” Yakko said. Lena smiled a little.

“That sounds lovely,” She said, sipping some tea.

“It was,” Yakko smiled at the memory.

“Oh! And we continued teaching Wakko to read,” Yakko remembered to tell.

“Really? Oh, that makes me so happy Yakko,” Lena side hugged him.

“We were so worried that Angelina wouldn’t let him and he’d forget,” William admitted.

“We had to do it behind her back, but I definitely think we made progress,” Yakko smiled, proud of himself, and rightfully so.

“I’m absolutely thrilled to hear it. You did a very good job taking care of your siblings in our absence Yakko, I’m very proud of you,” She kissed the top of his head.

“Thanks, mom,” Yakko teared up a little, and he quickly wiped it away. Lena didn’t comment, smiling softly.

“I’ll never forgive her for this.” The thought repeated in her mind. Anger returned.

“So, what took you so long?” Yakko asked.

“Paperwork. I’ve a coronation to set up by the end of the week after all,” She tried to laugh at the dread facing her.

“What about Grandma’s funeral?” Yakko asked.

“She isn’t going to be getting a funeral,” Lena said.

William blinked. “Are you sure that’s best?”

“Doesn’t every royal get a funeral? I mean- she even held one for you two...” Yakko said quietly.

“It’s unprecedented yes, and will perhaps even look bad to the people. However, once we explain everything that happened, I’m sure the people will be more than happy and most importantly on our side,” Lena sipped her tea.

“I guess that makes sense,” Yakko shrugged a little. William sighed.

“Lena darling, I know it must be difficult, but she was the queen after all-”

“She committed treason on the highest offense, William.” Lena snapped.

“I know, but well- hasn’t she already paid the price?” He said in a hushed tone, even though Yakko was still right there.

“It’s not that I think she deserves one, Lena. I’m just concerned that the people won’t understand and that it’ll cause them to turn against you,” He clarified softly, touching her arm. Lena swiped it away.

“I know full well what I’ve done,” She stated sharply. “And I don’t regret it. Let the people be upset if they will, they’ll get over it.”

Wakko and Dot stopped running by then, now looking at their parents, confused.

“Lena, darling, perhaps we should take this outside,” William sighed. Lena looked at her children before sighing and nodding.

“We’ll be back shortly... carry on until we get back,” Lena said, placing a hand on Yakko’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze before standing up and going. William followed in suit.

William stood by the door a moment, making sure they weren’t listening in. Lena paced across the hall, holding her arms.

“Well?” Lena asked him.

“Well, what?” William questioned her harshness.

“Well, what’ve you to say? You asked us to leave the room and we’ve left, so what’ve you to say?” She asked, digging her fingers into her arms.

“Lena darling... I just thought perhaps it wasn’t best to discuss such matters in front of the children,” William said softly. That didn’t make Lena feel any better.

“William, I’m tired of pretending I care about her,” Lena looked out a window. “I don’t want to waste a year of my life wearing all black and veiling myself pretending to weep over what I’ve lost. I can’t even fathom pretending to care a day,” She admitted.

“Of course,” He nodded slowly. The queen-to-be glanced at him.

“You aren’t going to argue otherwise?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Lena darling, I love you with all that I am. I trust your judgment. I’m simply trying to look out for you, that’s all,” William went to her.

“I love you too William,” She said. “I just... I know what I’ve done. I don’t regret it.”

“My dear... you keep saying that,” He took her hand and kissed it.

“It remains true,” Lena took a step away.

“Lena, who are you trying to convince?” He asked honestly.

“I... nobody,” She said quickly.

“Lena-”

“Nobody, William,” She closed her eyes and turned away from him.

She didn’t regret it. Her mother had to die, and by her hand.

There was no other way.

“There was no other way,” She said aloud.

“My love, you’re trembling,” William worried.

“She didn’t love me. She never did- even as a child. She shouted, she pulled the flowers out of my hair, she grabbed me, she blamed me for Father’s death, she... she hurt Wakko, she locked him up like some animal and then she... she killed Dot. She had to die, William,” She still didn’t look at him.

“I know darling...” He approached her slowly.

“A-and even if she had loved me at one point... if she brushed my hair, or sat with me in portraits, or picked out a dress she saw me admiring, it doesn’t matter. She killed our baby girl... she had to die,” Lena looked him in the eyes, though the sympathy was almost too much for her.

“My love, I know... What you did was incredibly difficult,” William said, wiping a stray tear from her face.

“Why though? Why was it difficult? After all that she did to our children, it should’ve been easy,” Lena argued.

“Lena, I do not know,” He sighed, stroking her face with his hand softly. “I’m not a psychologist or anything of the like... but I assume it’s because- well... she was your mother.”

“Hardly...” Lena muttered to herself.

“Despite everything, she still was. You can’t deny that,” He said. “And despite everything, you’ve always been slow to retaliation, so of course it’s taking a while to process what you’ve done.”

“I thought you said you weren’t a psychologist,” Lena joked a little. William chuckled a little.

“I’m not dear... though perhaps you really should take up Scratchnsniff’s offer,” William said.

“I wrote for him last night. He’ll do the children lots of good,” She said.

“That’s not what I meant,” William gave her a look.

Lena paused, sincerely thinking about it.

“I’ll be woefully busy... I’ll hardly have the time,” Lena said.

“We’ll make the time,” He countered.

“William- I just... I don’t know...” She turned away.

“Lena... please? I worry about you,” William held one of her hands in his and gave it a squeeze. Lena said nothing.

“My dear, you deserve to be at peace. Ever since I met you you were burdened by your mother’s actions, and now that she’s gone, you can finally find peace,” He said with a small smile. She could hardly look at him now.

She was an adult. Almost queen. She should be able to handle this on her own.

“If not for yourself, then can you at least do it for them? For...me?” He pleaded quietly.

Lena looked at the door a long moment, practically seeing her children leaning up against it (which she knew they likely were).

“William I don’t know if I can find peace...” She whispered.

“Can’t we at least give it a try, my love?” He whispered back. She looked at him. His eyes... those warm, dark, familiar eyes had brought her so much love and comfort over the years. So much love and worry...

Lena knew she’d do anything for him.

“I can try,” She nodded slowly.

“Really?” He smiled a little.

“I’d walk through hell and back for you, my love,” Lena placed a soft hand on his cheek. “I think I’ll be able to believe in myself a little for you too.”

“Thank you,” He kissed her wrist before pulling her in for an actual kiss, which she gladly returned.

However, the kiss didn’t last too long before a chorus of voices behind the door grew louder and before they knew it, the door opened, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot spilling out with it.

“Darn it Dot- you got us caught,” Yakko shook his head.

“Haha... hi,” Dot sheeped. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Mind telling me why you were listening in to what was supposed to be a private, adult conversation?” She teased, helping them up and off each other.

“Uh... curiosity?” Wakko shrugged. Lena laughed.

“Can’t deny that I suppose,” She ruffled his fur. Wakko smiled up at her with his tongue sticking out. She missed that smile.

“Well... the day isn’t over yet... what do you three want to do?” She asked.

“Can we hear a story?” Dot perked up and asked.

“Yeah! A story!” Wakko agreed. Yakko snorted, giving his silent agreement.

“It’s nowhere near bedtime,” William said. “What are we going to do then?”

“We can handle two stories,” Dot rolled her eyes. William chuckled.

“That you can... that you can,” He said, stroking his mustache.

“How about this: I’ll tell you a bedtime story if you’ll help me out with this one, hm?” He offered, winking at Lena to boast his cleverness. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Okay!” The younger warner siblings said in agreement.

“But first we have to clean all this up- can’t be leaving everything out like this,” Lena remarked, going back into their picnic room. Quickly, the children ran in and began picking up any toys they had brought in, folding blankets, and putting back pillows where they belonged, while Lena and William dealt with the food.

“Quite the plethora of fruit you prepared for us this morning,” Willaim commented as he cleaned.

“I do it when I’m stressed,” She shrugged. “You know this- you were there.”

“I know,” he teased. “They were very good.”

“I didn’t grow them,” Lena rolled her eyes, teasing him right back.

“It’s our garden. I think we ought to have some claim,” He shrugged. Lena rolled her eyes again.

“You say that like we don’t get most of our fruits from the farms-”

“Actually, we get our apples and citrus from the farms. The starfruit and berries were from the garden,” Yakko snuck up from behind, folding a blanket.

“Who’s side are you on?” Lena gave him a look. Yakko laughed.

“Checkmate,” William grinned.

“I hate you,” She snorted, putting the bread into a bag as Yakko disappeared to put the blanket away.

“You love me,” William elbowed her lightly. Lena chuckled and continued to clean without comment. However, a thought slowly dawned on her and she paused.

“Lena..?” William noticed.

“Sorry, I’m just... thinking,” She shook her head and continued.

“Thinking of what?” He asked.

Lena thought about how best to say it.

“I suppose... well... I don’t know. I just-... Do you really believe any of this will ever truly be over?” Lena asked him.

William sighed. “I really hope so... it may not be today, or tomorrow, or even the day after, but in my heart I know one day we’ll finally be truly happy and free from her and her effects.”

“What do you think it’ll be like when that comes?” She asked him. William smiled.

“Well... I imagine there’ll be dancing under a sky full of stars. Music playing softly in the other room, while we just have all the time in the world to ourselves, knowing Yakko, Wakko and Dot are safely tucked to sleep- or even if they aren’t we know they’re safe. They know they’re loved, we know we’re loved, you know you’re loved,” He said, a far-off look on his face indicating he had given this thought before. Lena smiled.

“Dancing under the stars... I’ve missed that,” She agreed with him.

“Perhaps we’ll even go to the garden. We’ll sit on our bench by the fountain where I first proposed to you and we’ll just sit and reflect on the good times we shared, and the good times yet to come. It won’t be the end, after all. There’ll still be a lifetime ahead of us,” He said. Lena closed her eyes, envisioning it.

“That sounds lovely,” She smiled and opened her eyes.

“One day,” He said with a wink.

“We’re doneeee, can you tell us the story now?” Dot ran up to them, grabbing William’s leg. He laughed.

“Alright, c’mon,” He said, peeling Dot from his leg and picking her up instead. Wakko went to Lena and held her hand. She gave it a comforting squeeze, not that either was nervous. Yakko walked on her other side.

Together, the family all went back to the familiar playroom and settled in for storytime with Dad.

Effortlessly he weaved a tale about a beautiful princess, a handsome knight, and a fearsome dragon. Had it been done before? Of course, but it was the audience’s choice and they missed the cliché. He spoke of everlasting love, the princess and the knight saving each other numerous times, and eventually how they lived happily ever after and created a land of prosperity, peace, and love- unlike the age of the Dragon. It didn’t take a genius to figure out his inspiration for such a tale, but it was interesting and exciting nonetheless.

After that, Lena and William played with Yakko, Wakko, and Dot with their dolls, playing a game similar to the story, but with its own twists (like the Princess being fire breathing and could transform into a giant lion and the knight was secretly the God of Thunder) until it was eventually time for diner.

After that, William read them a bedtime story, this time of a lonely siren and a sailor who nearly drowned, which captivated Wakko and Dot easily, though Yakko was tired, and barely awake by the end. Then, they checked for monsters for Dot (a new concern of hers), after which Lena sang them their lullaby and they all went to sleep.

And so several days passed in such a way. Lena would spend her mornings over paperwork and giving signatures and statements and writing to other kingdoms in preparation for her coordination while William watched the kids, and in the afternoon she’d join them for lunch and for some quality family time until it was eventually time to sleep and the cycle would start over. As much as she hated the paperwork portion of her days, she couldn’t deny the quality time made up for it. Seeing her children slowly regain their spirit filled her with more happiness than she could ever describe, especially with the help of Doctor Scratchnsniff.

Ah, yes. Doctor Scratchnsniff. At first, the children were hesitant to meet with him, but after Lena and William offered to sit in with them for their appointments (for the first one, at least) they agreed.

Dot seemed to be liking him, though she found him and his accent strange at first. However, the doctor reported she was already off to a good start and even after meeting twice he said she was making good progress. That was good to hear at least. The sooner her PTSD was gone, the better.

It was evident Yakko liked him less so, but Lena and William weren’t surprised by that. His issues were with being fiercely independent and untrusting so naturally, it was going to take a while for him to open up, which they were okay with. They had all the time in the world now.

Wakko, however, never wanted to be alone with him. He always had Lena sit with him through his appointments, either clinging to her arm, or sitting in her lap the whole time as she stroked his ears or rubbed his back soothingly. He hardly spoke a word at first, which was expected, but the doctor didn’t seem to mind. Hopefully, progress would be made with time.

Lena eventually found time to make an appointment of her own. It felt... odd, to say the least. She was used to the loving and kind support from William, but opening up to Scratchy was a different feeling entirely. She didn’t have to fear what he thought, as he was trained to listen and help. She liked that.

What she liked less was reflecting on her childhood. So many feelings and emotions and twisted memories she didn’t know how to look back on. He said this was natural for victims of childhood neglect and abuse, and she couldn’t deny that.

However, she was processing now. Moving on, as he described it. Acknowledging what happened was the first step, moving on was the next. It was... interesting. Then again, these were only the beginning steps. She still had lots and lots of work to do, but she had all the time in the world.

The days passed in such a sequence, that the day of her coordination threw her off guard. Heck- she had hardly noticed that when she had awakened, maids and dressers were immediately there to get her in the gorgeous cerulean blue, and gold dress they had made for her. It wasn’t until they were trying to comb through her hair she realized the day was special. Sure- she wasn’t normally dressed by handmaidens, but in all fairness, she had just woken up.

Oh god- it was finally happening. Important guests from kingdoms all over were going to arrive to watch her rise to the throne and accept her fate and destiny as the next queen of Warnerstock.

Hell- it felt like Lena blinked and suddenly she was waiting for the doors to open so she could walk down and accept the crown and say the lines and well- get coronated as Queen. She was wearing the nicest gown she’d ever worn in her life, and her ears were unbound, as she was no longer wearing her princess crown anymore.

“You ready Mom?” Yakko asked, adjusting his fancy little outfit. Lena thought he as well as the rest of the kids looked adorable, though it was clear he was rather uncomfortable with the lapels and sash. Still- that didn’t stop Lena from wishing she could get a portrait of him done.

“Hopefully,” Lena laughed through her nervousness.

“You’ll be great, I know it,” Wakko grinned up at her. Lena smiled at him, before noticing his sash was on the wrong shoulder and she fixed it.

“Yeah! You’re super nice and pretty and you’ll be a great queen,” Dot encouraged.

“You’re too sweet, darling,” She thanked her before standing.

“You’ve nothing to worry about, my love,” William placed his hands on her shoulders. “We have your back, it’ll be okay.”

“I’m the luckiest queen-to-be in the world,” Lena chuckled.

“Yep!” Wakko agreed.

“Your highness? They’re ready for you,” said one of the officials. Lena took in a deep breath and nodded.

“Well... let’s go,” She gave them a nod. Her family gave her quick grins and thumbs up, before the door opened, and the ceremony officially began.

The ceremony went perfectly as planned. Not a word nor person was out of place. She recited the vow of protection and service perfectly, didn’t flinch when the cold metal of her new crown touched her head, and even managed not to flinch at the mention of her full name (though she could still feel the internal dread of it). She recited her speech to the people perfectly, gaining their understanding and support with her carefully crafted yet heartfelt words, and eventually, the ceremonies were over and the festivities began.

Quickly, the children ran into the outdoor courtyard with many of the other royal children from nearby kingdoms, and music began to play. However, this wasn’t the stuffy, snooty music her mother would’ve chosen for her coordination, no. This was Lena, and she chose something exciting. A new beginning. Songs that make you kick off your shoes (if you wore those) and dance in circles until you pass out from exhaustion you didn’t know you had because you were too busy being swept away by the fun of it all. Lena danced with her new subjects and partners in foreign policy all day, and even a bit of the night as the sun eventually went down, only stopping when the feast began, or the band needed a break, but then returning right away.

She hadn’t felt this alive in years, and Lena was determined to never let it go. This was what freedom was. This was what life without her mother’s control could be, every day. People laughing, cheering, celebrating, being together and safe and happy.

People were happy.

Lena was happy.

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were happy too, even mingling with children from neighboring kingdoms, with Yakko even finding himself fascinated with a certain dog prince that she and William gave a quick thumbs up to, embarrassing him deeply. Eh, he’d get over it. They were back, and that meant embarrassing him to his crushes- even if he just met them that night.

Wakko and Dot were having fun dancing, and drawing chalk on the ground. Wakko proved himself to be quite the artist, as while he danced he dragged and drew with his tail, and before anyone knew it the whole floor was a Wakko art piece. Sure, it may have stained their feet, but it was truly something to behold. Dot, on the other hand, was chatting with other princesses and citizens, charming them with her classic wit and cuteness that made Lena proud.

And William? For the first time in what felt like forever, he seemed to be enjoying himself too, the worry that was constantly behind those deep, dark eyes she loved so dearly being practically gone. Instead, joy and excitement, as well as love was shining back, as he spun and lifted and danced alongside her to the exciting music of the band. The couple had never felt so alive and free.

Eventually, though, all good things come to an end, and guests slowly began to leave, saying their quick goodbyes to the new Queen, wishing her luck, and promising their loyalties and hopes for the future. It saddened to see things coming to an end, but eventually, the band began to play much slower, softer music, and William took her hand in his and they slowly began to sway under the starlight.

“I told you you had nothing to worry about,” William smirked.

“I know, you’re always right, blah blah blah,” Lena snickered.

William laughed. “I’m serious though, I’m extremely proud of you. You’ve come a very long way for it being less than a month since returning.”

“And here I thought it was already a year,” Lena joked, referring more to the neverending piles of paperwork she managed to go through in such a short time than her time with her loved ones.

“Lena, I mean it. I’m incredibly proud of you,” William made sure she knew it.

“Thank you, dear,” Lena kissed him. “I couldn’t have done this- any of this without you.”

“I know,” He said with a small smile. Lena snorted a little, before stepping closer and leaning against him as they swayed together.

“How’s this for a perfect ending, hm?” he asked.

Lena thought about that, looking around the more than half-empty courtyard.

Wakko was curled up into a ball on a pile of pillows nearby a firepit, looking perfectly warn out and warm. Dot was drawing with chalk next to him, looking half asleep as well. Yakko was telling a story to his new friend, though it was very clear that friend was going to have to leave soon, but whoever was in charge of the boy clearly didn’t have the heart to break the two up, which Lena couldn’t say she blamed them for. They were cute. Kids- but cute.

Then she looked back at William. The love of her life. The man who never once left her side and carried her through the worst moments of their lives, and somehow made it out alive. She kissed him again.

“It’s not completely perfect... but it’s a damn good start,” Lena smiled.

“A damn good start indeed,” William grinned.

And it was a damn good start. After all, Queen Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Second was married to Sir William the Good, and had three beautiful children she loved more than anything in the world. Her mother was dead, and couldn’t hurt any of them anymore. There were no more secrets, no more lies, and no more abuse.

Together, the Warners were entering a new era; an era of peace, of love, of great healing, and great togetherness. After all- the old queen was dead, proving once and for all that nothing could or ever would keep them apart for long.

They were together now, and together the Warner Family was unstoppable.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 The End

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izbelross · 3 years ago

Text

THE SIGHTER

I'm nervous, this here is a, well is something I have been working on and very afraid to post.

It's my first time writing a ff and actually posting it. And what better starting than a Moonknight fanfic. Relying on my actual hyper-fixation. This is planned to be short and starting with Moonknight series so... be careful if you haven't watched it.

I really like writing, is a personal therapy of mine and after almost a year of learning about my fears I decided to front one... posting.

I would actually love to read what this made you think or feel or... just anything, it would be lovely.

English is not my first language, if I have typos, am sorry, tried to make reader gender neutral, if I missed again, I apologise :D

Words: 3.9 K –I really love writing jejeje–

Pairings: Steven Grant x GN!reader, Marc Spector x GN!reader, Jake Lockley x GN!reader, Arthur Harrow x Platonic!GN!reader, Khonshu x Platonic!GN!reader

Warnings: Spoilers for Moonknight series, angst, mention to mental illness, drama idk, some sparkle of fluff, mentions of death. Khonshu being my little shit of a pigeon.

You have always wondered if you weren't just some crazy ass. If your life wasn't really just an entire hallucination of what was supposed to be a normal person. You had family that loved you but never really understood the way you will look to an specific area because "Mommy, there is a creepy looking dog over there" or "Yesterday a flying snake told me that I'll have a pigeon" or that one that made them definitely scared "Ma fren said that when I die I'll be like him".

You had a very different way of seeing life. It wasn't the usual bland experience but a majestic and incredible surprise. You used to talk to your grandma, even when she had already passed, and she told you to not tell your parents, for they weren't very knowing of this kind of stuff. All your childhood you were surrounded with the colours of peoples feelings in the tip of your tongue. You bonded with animals that often than not had to be kept in the garden meanwhile your parents wondered why they were so attracted to this area. It was as if life was a rainbow which you could experience all on your own with the guidance of your deceased grandma.

But not everything was good. There were shadows as well, shadows that clouded your nights taking away the joy of the day and making you scream until the birds sleeping on the edge of your window started to fly around your house and the wolfs in the distance cried along side you.

Night terrors was what the doctors told your parents. And it was "common" in children. The problem started when you where no longer a child. Every night you had to endure the visits of ghostly shadows without faces that grabbed your arms leaving you thrashing against them with bruises covering your skin in the mornings.

Which brought another problem. Your parents believed that you were hurting yourself. Hallucinating, paranoid. They medicated you, which left you tired and sleepy all the time. They gave you pills after pills, each one with a higher rank until you had to pretend that you couldn't see them anymore, that you couldn't hear them. Only then would they stop giving you such strong pills that left you in a trance of numbness and heart hammering.

You didn't have many friends for those years. Many of them believed you were a freak and the ones that really wanted to hangout with you were never the kind of friendship that last a lifetime. As with your parents...

You preferred to relay in yourself and the counsel of your grandma.

She taught you about the mysticism of people like you both. The Sighters. You had an astral bond with the universe. And even if they didn't seem like magnificent powers like the ones that could cause destruction, it allowed you to help those who needed it. Like the lost souls that sometimes would roam the streets searching for closure from this world. Or for people that had ghosts lurking their backs, trying to have free access to this realm of the living but weren't allowed anymore.

It was all good until your grandmother had to pass to the "Other side" as well. You were wrenched between being selfish by keeping the only one that understood who exactly you were and giving her the peace you knew she deserved. The latter choice was the one that attracted the sight of certain someone to your life.

When you met Arthur Harrow, things in your life were complicated.

You were tired of having to pretend be someone else. After all, you were a Sighter and your power was consuming you every time a denial came out of your mouth for fear of what your friends would think of you, what your parents would make you take this time or how many days will you spend in a hospital now?

You had just escaped your home with nothing more but the hope of finding a new place you could live and be at peace. The bag at your back had only the essentials, money you kept, ID, few coupons for fast food and two sets of clothing.

Totally a mistake of you for having got out at night, the streets as lonely as they could be only echoed your footsteps and even with the narrow light of the lamp posts the dread of being alone started to climb deep in your bones. The heavy clouds announced the coming of rain and stoped the moon light to seep to the street.

When people was behind you their auras used to approach you, hugging your own and acknowledging each other for what you were. Humans. It was a weird sensation that helped you ground yourself on moments of panic, to remind you that after all, you were normal, in a sense, just with a little extra in you.

But these sensation, the coldness and unnatural stillness of it reaching out to you and claim you against your will was the peak of every nightmare.

And it reached out with those anti-natural fingers pressing tight against your leg until it bled. Your scream was agonising and it flew among the shadows of night until it reached Harrow –clothed in his avatar armour– and even Khonshu stoped bickering when the full force of your soul searching refuge reached his undying one.

"ARTHUR, REACH TO THEM. NOW!" He didn't understand the deep uncomfortable feeling that overcame him, memories flooding his mind of old times when priest, priestess searched for his aid and as only payment: unconditional devotion.

When the Ennead stoped caring, the humans were left alone asking them selfs and each other "Where were our gods? Why haven't they answered? Why have they left us?" He can still remember how his devoted were hunted and punished for praying, for waiting for them. For him.

And seeing a Sighter, seeing you without protection, without a guide.

With full speed his avatar jumped over the buildings until your silhouette came into view. The god could not hide the terror on his skin, for there was you, a Sighter, one of the rare who were born under the protection of a god. And your soul was being ripped away by a shadow clad in animal skin. "HURRY!"

You were fighting with all your will to suppress the darkness trying to creep into your eye sockets, your mouth, your nose. The power of fear overcame you and you begged for anyone, anything to help you.

You prayed to anyone who shall listen for help.

And then it happened. No one came to aid: no person, no spirit, no god.

Your power was ripped and your soul split in half.

You realised two things then and there. One, your grandma was right, the power you had was unaltered, raw, savage. It could flow without limit and burn everything on his way. Two, it could drain you to the point of dead.

Golden light enveloped you and the darkness gripping you was not fighting anymore to eat from you but to get away. His touch was cold but you were a constant fountain of warmth.

You carbonised the cutting ice clawing at you from the inside, your screams weren't of terror now but of fury and the air around you burned even when Harrow tried to coax you to stop.

Khonshu marvelled at the sight. As a god of the moon, coldness was his, it enveloped him, nurtured him. And he found himself craving the blinding warmth that for a few seconds surrounded the world.

Your breath became even, the claws not anymore near you, not even existing, and standing there, an astonished Arthur finding in your eyes the same look he once had when Khonshu found him. Horror, pain, confusion.

"SIGHTER." Looking up the god Khonshu was coming your way, empty sockets looking without eyes. He put one knee on the ground and carefully to not spook you anymore, a hand cladded in old wrappings touched your skin. "HELLO LITTLE SIGHTER. DO NOT FRET" His hand was cold and it covered then the top of your head, patting it like one would do a puppy. "WHAT IS YOUR NAME, SIGHTER?" You gave your name and behind him Arthur walked to you, finally showing his face.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Arthur Harrow." The blue eyes looked at you like you held the answers to the most impossible questions, and the firm shake he gave to your hand was accompanied by a soft smile. You were a shaking mess. "Come with me"

Not even questioning him you followed this man and his god, you didn't have anywhere else to go, no one else who to trust but the aura surrounding him, a beautiful almost imperceptible melon colour told you that he was in pain, he was grieving but the more outstanding shade of mustard yellow gave away the gentleness and caring and safety.

~~🌙~~

Khonshu was watching both of you, still holding hands like your life was depending on it. He followed to Harrow's apartment, he stood alongside you while you ate so fast you almost chocked on the chicken and Arthur had to pour more water on your glass after you drank in two gulps. "You will be safe here"

"Are you- are you like me?" You both were still sitting at the dinner table, heart rate was finally normal, your stomach full and after he talked about mundane things –like how interested he was on science and that he had being learning german for 5 years– you were able to almost feel safe. He was easy to talk to. "You can see Khonshu and you could see the shadow from before."

"It's different for me," you poured a little more coffee on your cup and offered more to Arthur who nodded, grateful. "I'm the avatar of Khonshu, which gives me certain abilities: strength, velocity, awareness, the Sight. You were born with these gifts, for what I see."

"My grandma used to be my guide, she passed away and even then I learned from her." Arthur got up inviting you to the large sofa, he gave you a blanket and sat next to you, hearing everything you wanted to share. "She used to tell me that I could have explosions of temper, powerful but draining,"

"Powerful indeed, it felt like I was touching the sun for a moment." You both let out a lazy laugh. "My condolences. I know how it feels to- to lose someone you love." There was a pause where both of you lingered in the memories of it. "I think your grandma would've been proud of what you did tonight."

A tiny smile was your answer and Arthur chuckled. "Thank you. For- for letting me stay here as well, I know Khonshu is making you and- and I'm really sorry for invading your space-"

"Hey, hey. Stop, please. It's not only him that wants you to stay here. I prefer that you don't go around looking for a place on a doubtful motel. If you need to stay for a while I wouldn't mind and if you wish to go, the door is open. Just- " he laughed lightly when a soft breeze passed by and you looked over to where Khonshu was suddenly perched, you couldn't see his expression but the stillness told you he didn't agree on the options Arthur gave you. "Just be sure to let us now. You can take the spare room, and, yeah... that's it. I should get ready, you go take a nap, it's gonna be daylight soon."

"Thank you again Arthur." You smiled at each other and parted ways.

The room was small and cozy, with a large window illuminated in moonlight. You didn't dare turn on the lights and for the appreciative hum behind you, Khonshu agreed.

"I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE, SIGHTER. THERE'S STILL SO MUCH FOR YOU TO LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF." The god sat in front of the large crystal panels, crosslegged, and the room seemed smaller at his presence, even from his place at the floor.

You were curious– tired but curious. There looking at the way his beak tilt to the side while you carried the sheets from the bed to the floor alongside him, searching comfort from a being so cold, so different from the burn that was still in your chest, you realised that you felt more at ease with this two strangers for the few hours you met them than all the long years with your family.

"I have a lot of questions, but I feel- I can't really- everything is just, this... and-" you sighed.

"THE ANSWERS WILL COME, SIGHTER. WITH TIME, WITH PATIENCE I SHALL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS." Khonshu watched as you laid under the comforter and gazed right to the moon. Your tired eyes shined with white light, resembling the way Arthur's would when he summoned the suit.

"I should be panicking," this need to talk overcame you, the need to say it, you were distracted by the chat with Arthur, it helped you get your head back in time, it stopped you from spiralling into an anxiety attack, but you still wanted to, you still needed to talk about it, to know you were not- you weren't- "I should be feeling scared or at least crying. It was the first time I was able to do, well, that I did back there. But I feel..." the tears stung, your throat was closing in a painful knot. "I feel numb, I don't feel my body, is like I am here but I am not here. I can see you, I could see Arthur and I am- I have so-" a sob wracked you body, curling into yourself.

In one night you got away from home, after years of feeling like a monster, of feeling the looks they gave you.

You were attacked and you were terrified. You unlocked an unknown power and saved yourself. You met Arthur, an avatar, with eyes that hide torturous emotions like your own. You met his god Khonshu– that proclaimed his protection over you. You got a place to sleep, you got to eat, to laugh with this man. And you had so much in you, inside, that the tears cascading with no end and the headache pulsing relentless weren't enough to make you feel.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO OBLIGE YOURSELF TO FEEL EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. YOU HAVE LITTLE CAPACITY AS A HUMAN. YOUR BODY IS STILL CATCHING UP TO YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR BRAIN IS IN A RACE TO GET TO THE PRESENT FROM WHAT HAPPENED."

Now, Khonshu wasn't human, he didn't understand the reactions of his own avatar and he couldn't even comprehend for the life of him what was that deep ache that –if he needed air to live– would have constricted his lungs. But weirdly, his cold reasoning and truth tone at talking made wail with more force and without guilt, without telling yourself you shouldn't feel sorry because you already had a roof.

Crying helped you clean your mind, your body was lest stiffen after long minutes of gasping for hair between wrecking sobs and the added weight of Khonshu's hand patting your head while you slipped into unconsciousness took some of the anxiety that got you every night.

~~🌙~~

That first morning you woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. To the sound of relaxing ambient music and chirping birds. Your soul was sad, still crying without the need to shred tears but by finding yourself on floor with the memories of last night, free of a broken family you smiled.

It was a little smile and more started to come when you found a message from Arthur on the fridge, wishing you good morning, "Guten apetit" and the first gift of many from Khonshu, a moon shaped stone, held in a little crystal ball that hang from a black leader necklace. A protection, for his Sighter.

Soon your live changed, quite literally from night to morning, and you couldn't be more grateful for that fate.

Khonshu helped you with the soul call of the universe, the shadows lurking your way, the night terrors. For five years he taught you the way of the Sighters, to protect, to defend, to attack. And Arthur, your new found friend, showed you how to fight without your Sight.

For five years you had Khonshu, an asshole that protected you and taught you how to protect. And you had Arthur, your confident, your friend, your family who taught you how to defend yourself without magic, without immortality, with the fear of dying that kept every human alive on impossible situations. You learned how to science as well.

Maybe that's why it hurt so much when Arthur betrayed Khonshu and by consequence, betrayed you.

You had everything you never had, for those five years you learned what having a family felt like, and you learned that even the most perfect ones could be the more hurting ones.

~~🌙~~

The pain of that betrayal didn't waver, it didn't only affect Arthur and Khonshu's relationship, but yours and Khonshu's as well.

You believed that something had happened, something that made him get a so radical change of mind.

"You have to help him Khonshu! He isn't himself, I know it!" By this time, you were sure Arthur's neighbours were wondering calling or not to the police. You couldn't care less anyways.

"HE HAS CHOSEN A PATH, HE MADE THAT CHOICE SO HE WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND WITH IT. I WILL NOT WASTE MY TIME ON HIM MY LITTLE SIGHTER, AND YOU SHALL NOT EITHER."

It had been like these since Arthur had gone out of that palace. It was so sudden, the way he talked, the way he walked. The simple job of justice was perfectly performed by him, as always and Khonshu was satisfied, or the most satisfied he could get. You were waiting at hotel room, after having done your own work. Helping the lost souls to find the path, helping the living ones to understand that same path. A group of extremists had got to you though, you had a few bruises and sore arm muscles but out of it, nothing a bubble bath and pain killers didn't heal.

At the hotel room he had a dry humour and the worst happened in the morning. Khonshu went away, he often left you both for short in the mornings and came back in middle afternoon, and so, Arthur got his chance. Started telling you about the justice, so passionately that his eyes looked maddening and when you started to joke he snapped.

One minute, breakfast in the balcony with a man you trusted, friend of years, the next you were in front of a stranger that held a cane from an old goddess, one that you recall, was the devourer of hearts. A chill swept your back when he asked for your hands, when you didn't give them willingly he took them with a harsh grip, forcing the cane on your wrists. To say that you kicked him, he kicked back and the fight finished with you running on a frenzy to the airport and him screaming your name on the crowded Egyptian streets.

"If you don't help him then I fucking will!" The desperation clouded your senses, you'll do anything for not letting go, you couldn't, why would someone give up something so beautiful? "He is my family, he needs me Khonshu and I'm not giving up on him," your voice was strained, between screaming and crying your vocal chords were suffering a great deal.

"HE IS NOT YOUR FAMILY." You stoped mid track packing your clothes. "YOUR FAMILY ABANDONED YOU, HE IS NOT BUT MY AVATAR AND YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT." Honestly, if he had just stabbed you with his centre the pain would have been less. Your heart clenched so painfully that the little mental awareness left in you wasn't enough to understand his next words. "YOU WILL NOT SEARCH FOR HIM, NOT IF I CAN HELP IT."

Yes, it hurt. Like a limb being sliced from you, suddenly the ground beneath you, your own gravity centre changed, your power changed. The utopia of a bubble of familial love fade away with the memory of Arthur Harrow at the same time that Khonshu prayed the god Dolos and put you to sleep.

~~🌙~~

"Ah, yes, Annubis, god of the embalming and the death, a very important and praised god until, well- heh, Osiris. Quite a family, 'innit?" You looked at the man that appeared out of nowhere, startling you a little. Now, you had the fucking Sight, but not even that was able to distract you from the soft, nervous smile under big brown eyes.

You might have seem like a fish out of water but who could blame you, this man just talked and it was like the lights around were brighter than ever, like the holes in your incomplete memories weren't important anymore. "I- yeah, yes. They should probably take a few holidays, can't imagine what thousands of years can do to someone relationships." He chuckled with your answer, his hand playing with the zipper of his jacket. Holy shit, he's cute.

"Although it was almost endearing, how he accepted his new position, Anubis, I mean... " you stared at him meanwhile he talked about the entire myth of Isis and Osiris love, Anubis and his supposed brother Horus and the why yes he might be, no, that might not be, but... a soothing voice he had, with a so heavy accent that had you wondering how could you have lived without it? "... which is a little funny 'cause he ended up embalming Osiris himself, don't ya think? Oh, I- I'm sorry I- I tend to ramble a lot, I- didn't-"

"Well thanks to the very renew Osiris and Horus, even Set myths now we have Anubis to take care of the embalming and those who are transitioning. Pretty funny as you say but in a way, like any belief, unstoppable."His mouth hanged open at your answer. You were listening, of course you were. You used to serve Khonshu, you used to... pray to him. And Egyptology was one of the most interesting subjects you could ever stood by, even before being catalog a former Sighter. And hearing someone like him, a pretty yet handsome man that was passionate about Egypt, that looked at you like you were a wonder and a full smile making his eyes shine Oh so bright, so fucking pretty.

You introduced yourself, shaking his clammy hand and with a smile as big as his. It was almost impossible to your heart not to flutter with his nervous chuckle.

"I'm Steven Grant, it's a really- real pleasure to meet you." By now you were only holding hands and you couldn't care less if it was awkward. His smile impossible to fade, your cheeks hurting of the same problem.

"Oh no, believe me, the pleasure is all mine."

If you were being honest, this was by far the best moment of your day. And you didn't know but, Steven with tired eyes and a hopeful gaze still in you couldn't agree more.

Again, I'm sorry for any mistakes 😅

I really liked writing this and finally making a move around my new Moonknight obsession 🌙✨🥰

#steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #marc spector x reader #moon knight #moonknight fic #arthur harrow #khonshu #khonshu x reader

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i-need-entertainment · 4 years ago

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Haikyuu!! Boys getting accidentally hit ‘where it hurts’ by their kids

Characters: Akaashi, Washio, Konoha, Kita, Suna, Ushijima, Yahaba, Iwaizumi, Futakuchi, Daishou, Numai and Iizuna

Happy Easter if you celebrate it!! I thought a fluffy little hc’s of the Haikyuu!! Boys with their babies would be cute for today so here we are~

Warnings: Uh- just our favorite boys getting hit in the balls, I’m seeking more therapy I laughed way too hard while writing this uHm, mentions of grabbing the crotch cause what else you gonna do??, I do reference the Bad-dad moments and being flashed posts.

**POST TIMESKIP CAUSE CHILDREN!! YOU AND THE HAIKYUU!! BOYS ARE MARRIED~ ALSO THE NUMBER OF KIDS THEY HAVE CAME FROM THE BAD-DAD MOMENTS!!**

@foodacoochie I thought you might want to see this~

Akaashi Keiji:

Today was Akaashi’s day off, so naturally he wanted to spend it with his family!

You were all situated in the living room, your youngest who was a little over 1 sitting on your lap, and your oldest, who was about 3 was sitting across from Akaashi.

Akaashi was on his knees, throwing a tennis ball like thing back and forth with your 3 year old son, who was standing.

Everything was going great, just some wholesome family fun.

Until Akaashi said ‘give it all you got!’ his child smiled, wound up, and-

‘OOF-’ you watched as your husband immediately hunched over, falling to his side as his hands flew to his crotch.

Your eyes widened as you tried not to laugh, your son however started giggling when his father groaned, your baby following suit.

“K-keiji? *snicker* are- *ahem* are you okay?” You barely got through the sentence before you started laughing, Akaashi just slowly nodded, eventually returning to his knees.

He was much, much more conscious of his lower region from that point on.

Washio Tatsuki:

It was Halloween time, and you and Washio had taken your 3 kids to a pumpkin patch!

You guys have 3 kids, the oldest two are 5 (fraternal twins, 1 boy 1 girl), and the youngest is 2.

The farm had made several ‘haunted houses’, one for little kids and one for teens+

Your twins had decided they wanted to go in the haunted house!

Well, your son did. Your daughter was not thrilled.

But! When her daddy offered to hold her hand the whole time, she decided she could brave it out, after all it is Washio we’re talking about.

You stayed by the entrance with your 2 year old, while Washio took the twins inside.

Everything was fine for awhile, your son was very excited, giggling at the jump scares and all in all having a good old time.

Your daughter...not so much. Poor thing was just about shaking, but she wanted to do this!!

They were about 2 scares away from the exit when someone dressed as a werewolf came from no where, your daughter screaming and turning into her father, her elbow at the perfect height to connect with his groin.

Sucking in a quick breath he ever so slightly tightened his hold on his children's hands, walking them through the last few jump scares and out to you.

You immediately grew concerned as the first thing your husband did was take a knee when he got outside, hands coming to grip at his face as he just slowly let out a breath, nodding when you asked if he was okay.

But even after getting elbowed in the balls, he never let go of his daughters hand😤

Konoha Akinori:

You had just finished drying your son off from his bath when you heard giggling coming from the living room.

You sighed as you saw your husband, relentlessly tickling his oldest daughter, right after you had gotten her all settled down for bed.

Despite the irritation you felt knowing it would take at least 2 more stories for her to be sleepy again, you couldn’t help but smile knowing how much he loved being a dad.

“D-daddy *giggle* st-stop it!! It-it tickles!!!” Your husband smiled, continuing to gently tickle your daughter as she continued to laugh.

“No-can-do missy! Your laugh is just too cute!”

Your daughter, despite her laughing, started to squirm, small arms pressing down on her fathers forearms, and little legs and feet pressing on his shins and thighs.

Until one particularly ticklish brush of his fingers caused her foot to slip, ending with her heel hitting him right in his crotch.

He shrieked as he let go of his daughter, hands flying down to his groin as he fell on his side, all the while his little girl laughed as she crawled up towards you, who was hunched over ugly laughing/crying as your husband continued to whine.

Kita Shinsuke:

Today was the first day of your spring cleaning, and your 4 year old daughter insisted on being a big help!

You were working in the living room while Kita and your daughter worked in the kitchen.

Kita was teaching his daughter how to use everything, and helping her when she needed it, she was of course a wonderful listener and was having the time of her life.

They had just finished dusting, and now it was time to do the floors.

You guys had linoleum in the kitchen, so all they had to do was sweep and mop.

Kita got the broom from the storage closet and came back to the kitchen.

He sighed when he realized he had forgotten the mop, setting the broom up against the kitchen counter and telling your daughter he’d be right back.

Now, she may more responsible than most kids her age, but she was still 4. And very curious.

Picking up the broom, she started to play with it, completely oblivious to her father rounding the corner.

Before he could so much as blink his daughter turned, the top of the broom catching him right in the balls as he very narrowly avoided cussing, choosing to grip the counter instead.

Gasping your little girl ran to you, on the verge of tears as she grabbed your hand and started pulling you towards the kitchen.

“Mommy help! I think I killed daddy!”

When you got to the kitchen, you saw Kita, head down on the counter as his hands wrapped around his head, small groans coming from him.

He made sure to be out of his daughter reach when teaching her to sweep.

Suna Rintaro:

Suna was in the living room, your 2 oldest in there with him as he was ‘rough housing’ and doing stuff dads do with their kids.

You were in the youngest 2′s room, putting them down for a nap.

Suna gently held his daughters legs as she planted her palms on the floor, him lifting her up when she was ready.

That’s right, Suna was teaching them to do handstands.

Giving her a high five he turned to his son, telling him what he needed to do, completely oblivious to his daughters concentrated look.

Keep in mind, Suna was standing, with his knees slightly bent and his hands on his knees.

Your daughter gave herself a firm nod, putting her hands above her head as she dipped down.

You had just finished putting the littlest ones down for their nap when you walked into the living room, watching almost in slow motion as your daughter leaned her upper half down, and watching her her leg came flying straight up.

Straight up in between her father’s legs.

You watched as his eyes widened, the air being knocked right out of him as he practically folded in half, forehead resting on the carpet as your son just looked at him and your daughters hands came up to her mouth.

You were of course dying in the doorway, him shooting you a glare as you gave your poor daughter a hug, her giving her daddy one as soon as he unfurled from the fetal position.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

Ushijima had taken his 3 oldest sons to the Schweiden gym.

He was putting in a little extra practice time, but wasn’t going to give up time with his children!

So, he figured it would be good to take them with him, they always loved going with him anyhow.

Right now, he was with your oldest son, Ren.

Your second born was whisked away by Romero and his son to play, and your youngest was whisked away by Hoshiumi and Sokolov.

Ushijima had been teaching his son to spike.

Nothing crazy, the kid is only 5, so they were spiking from the ground.

But there’s still a lot of power that goes into those spikes!!

Ushijima had taken his eyes off of his son for not even a minute, distracted by the giggles he heard from his youngest as he sat on Hoshiumi’s shoulders.

He really should have been paying attention, because right in front of him his son was winding up for a spike.

He didn’t notice until the *SMACK* on the gym floor echoed, the volleyball being shot right into his groin.

He cursed under his breath as he dropped to his knees, hands holding his crotch as Sokolov and Romero cringed, Hoshiumi and Ren laughing at his misfortune.

Yahaba Shigeru:

Yahaba had taken his 2 sons outside to play with a model airplane they had just finished putting together!

It was one of those thick-foam nice ones, so it was going to fly nicely.

He stood a good 15 feet away from his oldest, his youngest about 15 feet away from him so they formed a triangle, You watching with your phone ready for memories!!

Your oldest, Hayato, waited for the wind to come before thrusting the plane up and into the air, it glided for a good few seconds before doing a loop and coming back to the ground at a sharp angle.

For a foam plane, it moved quite efficiently, and at this speed it was moving quite quickly.

Before anyone could react, the plane had nose dived right into your husband, his face blanching as his hands shot downwards.

You laughed, your sons cringed, and Yahaba just about cried.

“At least the plane’s okay! It would have actually been bad if it broke” Your youngest walked away after picking up the plane, Yahaba looking at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, well don’t go asking me and your mom for anymore siblings, *cringe* I don’t think that’ll be happening.”

He cringed even more when you revealed you had gotten everything on video~

Iwaizumi Hajime:

With it being the off-season for volleyball, Iwaizumi was spending more time at home with his family!

But, keeping in good shape was also important, so one of the things he would do is while he worked out in the home gym, your 3 sons would be in there with him.

You guys had a pretty good set up, one of the newer additions being a punching bag and gloves. (any other boxers out there?)

Iwaizumi was working with weights, currently doing bicep curls while his sons wreaked, albeit controlled, havoc.

His oldest had found the gloves, slipping on on his hand as the middlest took the other, the youngest slipping on a mit instead.

Poor man was so focused in his workout, he didn’t even notice his middlest son come waking towards him.

When he did notice, he was too late, his son had already wound up and launched his gloved hand into Iwaizumi’s crotch.

Iwaizumi grunted as he just about dropped the weights, falling onto his hands and knees as he tried to steady his breathing.

All 3 of your children bolted out of the room, the little brats laughing before they ran into you.

You walked in to see Iwaizumi, who was now on one knee, eyes still closed as he seemed to be meditating.

For those who are wondering, “padded boxing gloves” do n o t h i n g to subside the pain of being punched😢

Futakuchi Kenji:

Futakuchi’s parents had been over for dinner one night, his younger sister and her fiancé were there too!

You guys had just had a nice dinner and were now sitting in the living room, bringing up old memories and laughing about things that have happened.

Your oh so loving husband had decided to bring up how you had “flashed” him in high school, you rolling your eyes as you hit his arm with a pillow you threw, him being on the couch and you cuddling with your youngest on the floor.

Now, you guys have 3 little girls.

Your oldest is 6, middlest 4 and your youngest is about 3.

Your youngest was very much a mommy’s girl, and would actually glare at Futakuchi for no given reason, then turn around and giggle and smile at you. (lol my little sister went through a phase like this when she was, like, 2)

She had been sitting on your lap, so when she saw you ‘in danger’ and it was from ‘the enemy’ aka dad, she stood, chubby little cheeks forming a pout as she marched towards her dad.

With the whole family watching, she pulled her fist back and swung, catching him right in his balls as she scurried off and back into your arms, you not knowing how to respond to the situation and your husband doubled over in pain.

Daishou Suguru:

You and Daishou had 2 kids, 1 girl (oldest) and 1 boy.

Daishou was a good dad!

He cared for his children, gave them endless amounts of love and affection, and was never late to any event big or small.

But he was still a dad, and dads all have those things that they do.

For him, it was popping out of random places and (lightly) scaring his daughter.

Currently, he was hiding behind the wall right at the top of the stairs, smirking as he knew his daughter was on her way up them.

He got his hands ready, feet in a good position to jump out as he watched her little shadow grow closer and closer to the top.

As soon as she hit the floor of the 2nd level he jumped out.

“BOO!” Screaming she kicked, landing a strong kick right in between Daishou’s legs, causing him to yelp as his hands gripped his crotch, sinking to his knees as his daughter gasped.

She felt bad for a whole of (2) seconds before sighing, hands coming up on her hips as she pouted, “Daddy, that’s what you get for scaring me!!”

Numai Kazuma:

You guys had 3 sons and 1 girl, your baby girl being the youngest of the 4.

Right now, you guys were in your backyard, having an outdoor day and playing a variety of sports and games.

The game they were currently playing was baseball.

You sat in the shade with your youngest son and baby girl as they played in the sandbox, your oldest two with their dad as he set up the little stand and put the ball on it.

He had put on the catcher’s mit and stood a good 10 feet away from the batting station, his oldest son ready to hit, and his youngest son a safe distance away.

“Alright, come on buddy, you got this!”

Steadying his stance, your son swung with all of his might, the ball going fast and low to the ground, and right towards Numai-

“uGh-” Your hand came up to your mouth when your husband dropped to his knee, hand coming up to wave off his son, forcing out an “I’m okAy-” as he struggled to regain his composure.

For the remainder of the time they played baseball, he kept the mit a little lower than he originally planned.

Iizuna Tsukasa:

Iizuna had been away for a game for the past 2 weeks, and your 3 year old daughter was very excited to see him again.

His arrival time was in the afternoon, so you were able to bring your daughter with you! Which Iizuna was thrilled about.

Your little girl was practically bouncing with excitement, little pigtails jumping as she looked up to you with a toothy grin.

You gently ran your fingers through her hair, as she clutched onto your leg, both of your eyes searching the gate for your husband.

As soon as you saw him, you crouched down to her ear, “There he is! There’s daddy!” Squealing she ran, and I mean she ran full force towards her father.

Iizuna, seeing his incoming 3 year old barreling towards him, dropping his bag, kneeling down so he could catch her.

Which he did, but he didn’t account for just how much force she had carried, so he didn’t expect the little foot that kicked him right where it hurts.

Careful not to impulsively squeeze the life out of his toddler, he shakily sighed as he gave her a kiss to her head, her nuzzling into his arms.

He may have been in an extreme amount of pain, but nothing was going to stop him from hugging his little girl.

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icesalamander · 4 years ago

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It's a gift to see art from you again! What's the your story behind the jaime X fem!ned comic, if you don't mind me asking? I love hearing about your AUs.

Thank you :D This is such a lovely message and I wanted to answer properly, I hope it was worth the wait.

Well it’s a rather old AU of mine, I’m still very fond of it but also a bit self-conscious, it definitely reads like something written by a 17-years-old. Starts out as a Nedbert AU and becomes a Nedjaime story halfway? It’s very muddy and complicated in my head at this point, but it goes something like this:

Eddara Stark is sent to the Vale to be fostered alongside with Robert

They become childhood best friends just like in canon, except Robert being Robert gets her pregnant when they are both still teens (Robert isn’t a better person here than in canon)

They can’t get married for reasons that certainly made a lot of sense but I no longer remember them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ something something other, more politically relevant betrothals

Lyanna gets kidnapped, Robert’s Rebellion happens, Robert becomes king and marries Cersei

Lady Ned Stark of Winterfell becomes the King’s official mistress

consequently Lady Ned does not have a honourable reputation in this AU (let’s call it social commentary instead of me embracing all the awful cliches)

Lady Ned is exactly as honourable as canon!Ned btw, they care about doing the right thing, which sometimes aligns with the honourable thing, but the people they love always take priority.

Robert adores his bastard children with Lady Ned, Cersei tries desperately to get rid of them

In the end, just like canon, Cersei arranges Robert’s murder and Joffrey becomes king

In a political™️ move the Lannisters force Lady Ned to marry Jaime (freshly released from the kingsguard because who cares what he wants). It’s for securing the North for themselves and also neutralising Ned as a political force. She has 5 recognised bastards from Robert after all, 2 of them are older than Joffrey and male... considering the accusations about Joffrey’s parentage going around at this point, these bastards are a valid threat to the Lannisters.

Especially because the oldest son, Jon Stone (nothing to do with Jon Snow, born in the Vale, named after Jon Arryn, already 18 years old) starts a rebellion against Joffrey. Stannis and Renly are both pretty >:/ about the idea but support him anyway. (We can debate how realistic it is, with a recognised illegitimate adult son of Robert vs Stannis and Renly’s own ambitions, but also this is a rule 63!Ned Stark AU how realistic can it be?)

Lady Ned has to marry Jaime, she is blackmailed with the life of her two youngest children who were with her in KL.

Both she and Jaime absolutely hate the idea and feel miserable.

Lady Ned’s opinion on Jaime is basically same as canon, meanwhile Jaime considers her basically a whore for being Robert’s mistress and is still in love with Cersei.

Insert Jaime getting captured in battle, loosing his arm and changing priorities exactly like in canon here

Jaime loosing his arm causes problems with Cersei, meanwhile Lady Ned treats him the exact same, also the “new & improved” Jaime treats her at least politely and they grow slowly closer. Jaime needs someone supportive and caring and Lady Ned desperately needs some human decency at this point. (If you were looking for a healthy, non-problematic ship in this AU, you hopefully gave up like 5 paragraphs ago...)

At this time they actually start having sex and Lady Ned gets pregnant. Cersei is obviously furious and doubles down on the murder attempts.

In one hand this AU is much more socially humiliating for Cersei because her husband had an official mistress throughout their marriage, on the other hand Robert simply doesn’t care about her at all and left her alone most of the time, so she suffered a lot less abuse compared to canon.

Then the rebellion lead by Lady Ned and Robert’s son wins, the Lannisters are imprisoned or killed

Lady Ned is in a rather awkward position because her son is now king but she also has Jaime’s child and is legally married to him

I don’t remember how this ends but looking at it now, realistically Jaime is sent to the wall and Ned is free and could do therapy if such thing existed in Westeros.

Bonus old as the seven hells art for this:

#/#//#///#////#/////#salamanderreplies #replies #the fem nedbert marathon #is the tag for this #havenfable #rule 63 #i feel like i should tag this post with some kind of warning #but for what?#questionable quality au warning?#long post

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scuttle-buttle · 4 years ago

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Chapter 11

WC: 2077

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: full on angst, discussions of emotional trauma, mild depictions of blood/gore, mentions of self h*rm & su*cide, mentions of child abuse, discussions of physical disabilities, institutionalization, some dialogue & plot canon to TV show, hurt/comfort

🧠

The rest of the conference went by much like the first day did. Both you and Laszlo bought a few books for your collections. An ease had settled over your conversations with the help of Sara and John's presence; you spoke more freely with each other. You tell yourself it is not because he's going soft on you or vice versa, but rather that you have found yourself in this imaginary bubble where you happen to get on well. It's inevitable that it will pop once you’re back at school and Laszlo will revert back to his usual callous state.

Laszlo. It still felt odd to think of him like that, rather than by his title. You couldn't lie, it gave you a sort of thrill. Even in your dreams you had only called him by his honorific. Thankfully you didn't have another dream after Friday. You couldn't escape the feeling that you'd said something incriminating in front of the man in question. So you chose to pretend it didn't happen.

Monday morning came and you headed to the train station. Once again he had secured a private cabin for the journey. This time you came prepared with a book since you had yet to replace your broken phone.

"Thank you again for inviting me to this, I really enjoyed myself. It was really nice of the department to foot my travel expenses, the hotel was really fancy. I may have helped myself to a mini-bottle or two," you joked.

"There is no need to worry about the department's finances; they were not involved."

You pause. He paid for you? Laszlo did say he would take care of the arrangements; but the four-star hotel, the private compartment train tickets, the admission to the conference, and every meal? Shit, that must have been a fortune, hundreds of dollars at least.

You don't know what to say, so you settle for an awkward "oh." A moment passes before you add "I appreciate that, um, I can pay you back. Might take some time but I can."

The professor is flippant in his reply. "There is no need, it was well spent for the research and knowledge acquired." He opens his book signaling the conversation is over.

You lick your lips. Fine then, I'll just consider it payment for emotional suffering and damages of the last eight weeks.

The first few hours of the journey were spent reading one of the new books you picked up at the convention. Occasionally you would peek over the pages at the professor. He was engrossed in his own selection; sometimes he would pause to write down a thought.

Around the seventh hour of your journey you had given up on reading anymore in favor of looking at the fields outside. The silence was comforting.

Laszlo had trouble concentrating on the book in his hand. He saw you as a conundrum. One minute you could be sociable and teasing with your comments, then next you were biting at his throat with your quick wit and fierce ideals. He decides that he wants to know what made you into who you are today. Now is as good a time as any.

His eyes on you cause a tingle up your spine but you ignore it. Laszlo breaks the silence; "may I ask a personal question?"

"You just did," you answer, still peering out of the large window. He huffed once, amused. At his following silence you face him. You raise your eyebrows to signal him to go on with his question. Curiosity grows at the thought of what he intends to ask.

"Twice now you have made implications of a traumatic past," he begins.

Bubble popped.

Interrupting, you snark "is this the part where you psychoanalyze me, doc? Because trust me, I've been through enough of that." You pick at the lint on your jeans.

Laszlo tries to choose his words more carefully the next time he speaks. "What I mean to say is, the first afternoon in the classroom where you defended that student you implied you had been witness to a trauma. You then displayed signs of anger and embarrassment before leaving prematurely. Yesterday you mentioned having entered a psychiatric facility. As an alienist I can't help but find myself curious about your experiences."

You slide your eyes to meet his from across the cabin. Your face is devoid of any emotion. "We all have our demons. Even you can't argue with that."

Your jaw clenches. Everyone had warned you. They all said he would try to worm his way into your head to figure you out. All the reviews, the gossip, everything. It was a big fat 'I told you so'. You give a pitiful laugh at the situation. "You know, everyone told me that you would pull this stunt."

He seems confused by your statement. "And what is that?"

"That you'd get inside my head and try to figure me all out or whatever. You already know I googled you beforehand, what everyone says about your methods. By now I assume you've done a little research yourself. I promise you there is nothing exciting here," you scoff and point to yourself.

"You would be correct in your assumption." You chew at your cheek as he starts. "I do know some of what happened in your past. Yet I also know that society likes to dilute the truth into something either more palatable, more entertaining, for people to consume greedily. What I want to know is what you have faced. How you have not allowed the experience to overcome you so much so that your humanity is erased like the characters I lecture on."

Eyes closing of their own volition you are thrown back in time to that night so many years ago. You didn't talk about it anymore. Bitsy knew of course, but that was the extent.

Laszlo waits. He knows this is likely to push you over the edge if your history with him means anything. Quite frankly, anyone would be tossed to their limit at his interrogation had they gone through what you had. John always told him that he needed to work on his bedside manner; that he had a habit of coming on too strong in his pursuit of learning the intricacies of the human mind. But your earlier comment about being sent to a so-called 'nuthouse' rubbed him the wrong way. It left a bad taste in his mouth. He needed to know. He needed to understand.

Laszlo can imagine the reprimand that he would receive from John and Sara for this. Just as he considers apologizing for his intrusion you open your eyes.

"She was fine. None of us suspected anything was wrong. I came home from having dinner with some… boy, and she had locked herself in the bathroom. She- she must have started over the sink and moved to sit on the side of the tub. She was hunched inside it when I got the door open. I pulled her out. Blood was… everywhere." Your voice is clinical as you explain.

"After, I shut down. So I checked myself into a psych ward a few days later when I couldn't get the feel of her blood off my hands. It's slippery, you know. And it smells. You wouldn't think so but it does." You clear your throat. "I did the therapy, took the meds they prescribed, all the standard treatments. Later I started watching true crime documentaries. I'd heard about exposure therapy so I figured the more I saw the gore, the less the image of my dead roommate would bother me. And it did help. The nightmares stopped after a while, I came back to school. I was better, just not the same.” You had watched the passing landscape as you explained. Turning to face him you speak again. “That's why those pictures didn't bother me. They weren't anything I hadn't seen before."

He contemplates you. The discovery and subsequent loss of your friend in this manner would no doubt cause lingering effects to your psyche. A stain that would forever remind you. "I offer my sincerest condolences. I do not presume to know what that would be like to experience, but I am glad you sought help afterwards. To make the choice to alleviate yourself of your own suffering where possible.”

As he says this he realizes that your anger towards the idea of being enslaved to unconscious impulse makes perfect sense. It explains why you focused so much energy on defending your belief in free will. That you have the power to choose how you carry your joy, your anger, your healing. It reminds him of how he held onto his own guilt and hurt, ignoring how it festered within him for so long. He feels as though he needs to share a piece of himself with you.

“I played piano as a child, quite well too. My mother hoped I would someday make a career of it. I vividly remember playing Mozart’s Concerto for Piano No. 20 in D Minor at a holiday party when I was seven years old. It was my favorite to play.... It requires two hands." You finally look at him. "My father...” He pauses to gather himself.

Now it is the doctor that cannot meet your eyes. As you listen you feel your confusion grow. How could he have been a talented pianist if he only had full use of his left hand? Unless..., the realization dawns on you just as he continues, his words slow.

“My father had two sides. One loving and the other brutal, the two often coexisting. It was something as trivial as putting me to bed, I recall... A game of tug of war. We were laughing…” He inhales a sharp breath. Already you can feel the tears begin to blur your vision. “I don't remember if he was drunk or if I said something that offended him. He must have pulled my arm behind my back.” Laszlo exhales shakily. “In small children, fractures can often affect…” he trails off, unable to finish. You can hear how he barely holds himself together.

Your heart aches for the broken man that sits in front of you. He never let on how much his arm bothered him, at least not within your presence. Suddenly you don’t see him as this rude, insufferable, obsessive man, but instead as someone that spends his life trying to protect himself. He projects his own anger and hurt so that he may, just for a minute, forget about his own demons. He wants to help others even when he feels he cannot bear to help himself.

But unlike you, he has to live with the physical reminder of his past every day of his life.

You stand and move to sit on his right side. Before allowing yourself to think too much of your actions, you place your hand atop his own, curling your fingers around his palm and squeezing delicately. You don’t bother wiping away the tears on your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Laszlo;” the whisper is barely heard above the sound of the train. A second passes where you fear you have overstepped and offended him by touching the affected limb. When his thumb tightens against the backs of your fingers you know he is not. He holds you in place.

“You asked me how I kept my humanity. How does anyone really? We learn to take what we get and we carry it in a bag. Sometimes you have to drag the damn thing behind you. But eventually the weight gets less and less if you allow yourself to move forward, even if it’s still there with you all the time. I dealt with what happened years ago and it does still haunt me. It’s easier now than it was, but… I- I suppose I’ve learned from you too. Sitting in those lectures and hearing you talk. We can either let it haunt us for the rest of our lives… or we can accept it… and use the memory of our pain to help ourselves and others.”

“I’m not sure the choice is entirely in our hands.” His tone is mournful.

You turn to smile at him through your tears. His own eyes are bloodshot. “I disagree. If it weren’t, if we didn’t have the freedom to choose that, we’d all be murderers.”

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams

#the interpretation of dreams #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo x reader #laszlo kreizler #the alienist #the alienist angel of darkness #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #laszlo kreizler fanfic #laszlo kreizler daniel bruhl #scuttle-buttle #tw self harm #tw suicude #tw child abuse

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plaidbooks · 3 years ago

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Rough Beginnings

A/N: So! This idea spawned after reading @cycat-carisi story, We. Please read that first, then come back here for this prequel! This also covers the Mafia square in @adarafaelbarba moodboard bingo!

Tags: mentions of a prostitution ring, talks of murder and mafia-related goings-on

Words: 1964

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

(gif by @resparza )

Sonny never hated his job more than when he went undercover. He had hated when he was posing as a homeless man with an eye for children, but this was worse. So. Much. Worse.

His cover story for this job was that he was part of the Italian mob, and he had been hired on as security for a prostitution ring; some huge network that was international but had its roots right here in Manhattan. Him, along with multiple real mafia members, were in charge of transporting girls, drugs, and anything else the head honcho told them to.

It had been three months since he went under; his beard itched his face still, his leather jacket was starting to be uncomfortable, and he wanted nothing more than to take all of these bastards down. But they didn’t have enough yet. So, he had to stick it out a little longer—at least, that’s what he told himself. A little longer, a little longer. He wasn’t sure how much “little longer” he had left in him.

Sonny lived in the housing quarters his boss supplied him, along with three other mafia guys. He had almost zero contact with the world outside his job—all the information he gathered was sent in a coded text from a burner. But he was starting to miss his friends and family. At least his employer understood that as part of the Italian mob, Sonny was allowed to go to church on Sundays…if there wasn’t something big happening.

His saving grace came a month later, while standing guard at his boss’s door. A woman he’d seen before came stomping up to him, and he braced himself; he knew that look.

“Let me see my father,” you snarled.

Sonny rose his hands defensively. “I was given orders ta not let anyone in. That includes you,” he replied, crossing his arms once more and trying to puff out his chest. But you simply glared at him.

“Fuck you; let me in, before I force my way in,” you growled.

He chuckled, eyeing you. “Ya really think you can get passed me? Let’s see ya try, doll.”

You gave him another impressive glare before trying to lunge passed him, reaching for the handle. Sonny caught you easily around your midsection, lifting you and placing you down at arm’s length in front of him.

“That the best ya got?” he teased. This wasn’t the first time you tried to brute force your way passed him before, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. But you had a trick up your sleeve.

You let your bottom lip quiver, tears appearing in your eyes. “Pl-please, sir, let m-me see my—” you trailed off, sniffling loudly.

“Ah geez, don’t be doing that. Come on; he’s in a meeting and will be out soon. Just wait a lil, okay?” he said, a touch of pleading in his voice.

But you didn’t stop, letting the tears trail down your cheeks. You let out a loud sob, and Sonny wanted to rip his hair out; he didn’t need a tantrum with daddy’s spoiled brat right now. He internally winced at that; he didn’t really believe that that was what you were, but when you came up here, trying to cry your way in, his mind went there.

You let out another loud sob. “Please, doll, I promise ta let him know as soon as he’s free—” Sonny started, but he was cut off by the door behind him opening. He stood at attention—like a good little lapdog—and the man who was having a meeting with his employer came out. He took one look at you, then left, rolling his eyes. You quickly wiped your face with your shirt before your dad appeared.

“And what are you doing here?” your father asked, annoyance dripping from his voice.

Sonny felt bad for you, but said nothing, gave away no emotions on his face as you requested to speak with him, privately.

He nodded, and Sonny moved out of the way, letting you enter, the door closing softly behind you both. He released a breath; it was always high tension after a meeting. But Sonny also found himself feeling sorry for you, having a father like that. He was hoping that when the walls came down, you’d at least be spared; you had no real idea of your father’s business, how big and deep it ran.

The meeting between you and your father didn’t last long, and soon enough, the door was opening once more behind him.

“Sonny; drive my daughter home. Giuliano will cover you until you're back,” your father ordered.

Sonny nodded, letting you pass him before following you. He kept his emotions in check, but he saw the look on your face; sadness, betrayal, and fear. He vaguely wondered what you had talked about but didn’t want to pry; he could be fired or worse for it.

It wasn’t until halfway through the drive to your place that he asked if you were okay.

“Fantastic,” you muttered, staring out the window.

Sonny wasn’t sure why he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut; the words just spilled out. “Ya father is a hard man. I’m sorry ya have ta deal with that.” It was a mistake, he knew; if you were indeed loyal to your father, then saying that out loud was a good way to end up dead.

You blinked in surprise at his bluntness, and for his apology. “Y—yeah, he is. I wouldn’t let him catch you saying that, though.”

He nodded. “Uh, how ‘bout makin’ it our little secret, then?” he asked, hoping beyond hope that you’d say nothing about this to him.

“Our little secret…. Yeah, okay,” you replied dryly, eyes going back to the window.

*******************

After that conversation, Sonny’s boss would often send him to you, whether to drive you or as extra protection—more like babysitting, to Sonny. But he found that he couldn’t complain; it was the only time he could be close to his true self…plus it was safer and better than doing other, illicit things. Even if he should be doing those things for intel. And of course, he never slipped up like he had on that first car ride. No, he was Sonny from the Italian mob, not the soft-hearted detective. He held you at arm’s length, determined to not let the mask slip. But something about you got to him, and he found himself afraid of you. Afraid that he’d make a mistake, and that you would see right through him.

“Sonny, why do you do this job?” you asked one day while he was driving you home. It had been over a month since your father had basically assigned Sonny to you.

He tried to stay neutral, but you saw how he adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “’Cause it’s a job. I was hired.”

“That’s a bullshit answer and you know it,” you replied, smiling.

His jaw tightened. “Nah, see, when my boss tells me ta do somethin’, I do it.”

“You’re not like the rest, though. The others, I see murder in their eyes. They have such dark thoughts; it’s almost like they’re hoping my father gives them a kill order,” you explained. True, your father told you that they were security guards for his business, but you never bought that story; they were more like murderers than security. The day when Sonny kept you out of your father’s office was the first time you noticed that he was different; his eyes were soft, and he talked to you like a person, rather than making vaguely concealed threats. He seemed to genuinely care when you started to fake cry, even though you knew that he knew it was fake.

His bright blue eyes met with yours in the rearview mirror for a brief moment before flicking back to the road. “We don’t kill—”

“Stop lying to me, Sonny. Please. I deserve to know what’s going on,” you said, a slight begging tone in your voice.

So that confirmed it; you had no idea what your father was capable of. Sonny swallowed, wanting this conversation to end. “Talk ta ya father, not me—”

“I’ve tried! Multiple times! I’m not an idiot; I know he’s shady as hell. But just what are you protecting?”

“If he’s not willin’ ta tell ya, then that should tell ya somethin’, right?” he asked. He pulled over in front of your art studio, putting the car in park and getting out. You thought about his words; it was more than you got from anyone else. To be honest, Sonny always gave you more than anyone else; he didn’t sneer at you, ignore you, call you names like “brat”. And he definitely didn’t look at you with hungry eyes or creepy smiles. He seemed like…like a generally good person, all things considered. You weren’t sure when it had happened, but you noticed you had developed a crush on him.

All too soon, Sonny was opening the door for you to get out. You thanked him as you exited the car, and felt his presence behind you as you climbed the stairs to the door. He always walked you there, to make sure you were safe.

You unlocked and opened the door, then turned around to face him. He gave you a nod and you thanked him again. But something possessed you in that moment; why else would you have grabbed his shirt and pulled him to you in a kiss?

Sonny froze in place, eyes wide, before he placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you back. You looked up at him, the apology dying on your tongue; you weren’t sorry at all. That kiss was worth it in your eyes. But there was an almost…pained? look in Sonny’s eyes.

“D-doll, we can’t—ya father—”

“Never has to know,” you finished for him.

He blinked, obviously warring with himself, and you were sure you knew why; if your father found out about you two, he could have Sonny killed. But, if Sonny felt the same way about you that you did about him, then maybe, just maybe, he could help you escape from under your father. Something about him was safe, trustworthy.

Slowly, you reached up to cup his face. When he didn’t pull away, you gently leaned in again, kissing him slowly, tenderly. He paused for only a moment before he melted against your lips. Then he gently pulled away from you.

“I—I gotta—” He didn’t finish his thought before he turned and hurried down the stairs. You watched him go, hoping that he’d say nothing to your father.

The car door slammed shut and Sonny was quick to turn the car on and leave. What the fuck was he doing, letting you kiss him? And then he kissed you back?! He must be a fucking idiot! Sure, he liked you—more than he was willing to admit—but this could blow his cover. Not to mention get him killed, cover blown or not. Plus, he was lying to you; any feelings you felt weren’t for him but for the façade he put on.

He resolved to keep his distance from you; nothing good could come from any of this. It ended in one of two ways: you, heartbroken over Sonny’s lies, or him buried six feet under in some lot. There was no way to disobey your father if he ordered him to take you home, so there was no avoiding you. Sonny would just have to lay down the rules next time he saw you; absolutely no relationship could exist, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #adarafaelbarbaseptemberbingo

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knoxfms · 3 years ago

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#𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙶𝙴𝚁𝚂 : mentions of addiction , alcohol abuse , drug use & infidelity .

* 𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙲𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙲𝙰𝚃𝚂 & 𝙺𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚂 hehe . the name's sydney .. i'm a twenty1 y/o , residing in the est timezone & i use she / her pronouns ! it's been a hot min since i've been in a group setting , i was in the indie world for quite some time & took a break so apologies in advance for the piece of cr*p you're about to read ⸺ fr , don't say i didn't warn ya . anywho , let's get on with it ⸺ down below , you'll find out more about my troublesome son , rafe !

( xavier serrano , cis man , he/him , 25 ) $$$ — i'm pretty sure i just saw RAFAEL ' RAFE ' KNOX headed out of the estate . it's weird though … i didn't see them with their HANGOVER SHADES . i didn't know they left the house without it . i feel like i can never catch them ; they're always so busy … guess that makes sense since they're an ACTOR . have you met them yet ? they live in MAGNOLIA LANE , so you might've missed them . i think you'd like them a lot , actually . i swear their aura is RED , and that seems like your vibe . maybe you'll get lucky and run into them sometime . i can always tell when they're coming up the hill ‘cause they're constantly blasting THE HILLS by THE WEEKND … it's pretty much their anthem at this point , so if you hear it ��, you'll know they're around . y'know , the other day , i saw a tabloid with them on the front page that said " TROUBLE FINDS HIM YET AGAIN : ACTOR RAFE KNOX IS IN HOT WATER AFTER ALLEGEDLY ENGAGING IN BAR BRAWL . “ … do you think that's true ? guess we'll see what the neighborhood watch thinks ! ( zac efron + paul wesley )

* 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀 .

full name : alejandro rafael cotillo . nickname(s) / alias(es : just goes by rafe ! will respond to d!ck , manwh*re , asswipe . age : twenty5 . zodiac : gemini . date of birth : june 8th ( bday twins w/ ye ) , 1997 . nationality : american . ethnicity : white ( spanish on dad's side , sicilian on mom's ) . height : 6'2" . gender + pronouns : cis man + he / him . language(s) : obv fluent in english & d*mbass , knows some phrases in italian & spanish . sexual + romantic orientations : heterosexual ( ? ) + aromantic . occupation : actor . career claim(s) : zac efron + paul wesley . character inspo : damon salvatore + silas hybrid , draco malfoy , james kennedy , sean cameron ( with a dash of craig manning & jay hogart ,,,, the chaos ) , sebastian valmont , tristan dugray .

* 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 .

family ; it's a touchy subject for you , isn't it ? you keep your private life separate from your work life , often waving off questions that pertain to family or rather lack thereof . what you've left behind in the past . documents containing any personal information surrounding your true identity have been tucked away & sealed .

you've got your father's looks , charisma & even name . he was once an actor , a heartthrob from the '80s .. turned washed - up after hitting his prime & no longer receiving any work . this caused him to turn to alcohol , drugs , which later led to addiction .. he became the laughing stock of the media .

this caused issues for the young couple & would become the topic of every fight .. it wasn't until carmen moretti , your mother , gave him an ultimatum ⸺ it was either get clean & sober or he'd lose his family . he chose sobriety , enlisting himself into therapy & rehab . for a while , he was doing good .. he even started getting back into acting , but it seemed old habits died hard . between his relapse & the discovery of an affair with his sober coach , carmen kicked his ass to the curb .

like most children when their parents split , they find someone to blame ; you blamed your mother for your father leaving . you've said some pretty hurtful things over the years , things you can't take back . you were the cause of every relationship that she had's destruction . men didn't seem to stick around too long due to your tactics . i think part of you was hoping there would be some sort of reconciliation between your parents .

there was one ( 1 ) man that you couldn't manage to scare away .. prescott holbrook , a business magnate & investor ( think el*n m*sk but .. tolerable & handsome ) . you can't remember the details , but apparently , they met at a gathering hosted by mutual friends & it was love - at - first - sight , v much giving wattpad story vibes . anywho , they ended up eloping after a month of knowing each other & just last year , they celebrated fifteen years . you've never seen eye to eye , but you can tell how much happier your mom is & he does seem to care about you , as if you were one of his own ..

at the shy age of seven , a casting director was scouting the area for a young boy to play young simon tam & plucked you from the crowd . you were said to be a natural & after doing just that one project .. you decided that this is something you want to do for the rest of your life .

you've done small roles here & there for the next seven years up until the age of fifteen .. when an opportunity of a lifetime came , your shot to fame , your breakout ; you've been casted as troy bolton in the upcoming high school musical trilogy .

because of your affiliation with disney , it was difficult getting casted for roles . no one really wanted to take a chance on you , no one quite took you seriously as an actor . though , luckily , you managed to prove people wrong .. 17 again was your first movie after your disney departure . from there on , you slowly grew to become one of hollywood's new it boys .

* 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀 .

rafe's first two roles were left uncredited . because of that , many seem to think his debut was summerland .

he's not really sure how rafe knox came to be .. i guess , it was when he realized what a pos , deadbeat his dad really was & he opted for a name change . he switched his middle name to his first & knox seemed to have a ring to it .

originally auditioned for the role of damon salvatore but casting felt like he'd be a better fit for the other brother 🤦🏻‍♀️ .. ( why ? idk idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ pester j*lie pl*c abt it ) . the show's first season premiered in the winter of this year , they're currently wrapping up season two , which is set to air in the fall .

relationships never seemed to work out , not because he's afraid of commitment , but because he's always working . its caused quite some issues in the past , his past partners have mentioned they've felt neglected .. which is why he tends to refrain from jumping into anything too serious / long - term . he very much prefers flings , playing the field .

biggest fear is probably ending up like his dad , which is funny ( not really ) because with the rate that he's going at , he's slowly morphing into him . this is actually one of the reasons why he's estranged from his mother , he hasn't communicated with her in years .. he's partially embarrassed because he's basically his dad 2.0 & he doesn't want to face her , disappoint her .

he's never been keen on talking about his feelings .. he'd rather bottle them all up , drink them away , literally do anything other than spill his guts out to another being . he doesn't like people seeing him vulnerable , it's encrypted in his mind that it's a sign of weakness .

deep down , despite what the media / tabloids say .. rafe does have a good heart . he often donates to many organizations / charities , usually under anonymous .

rafe does have a scar under his left collarbone , a result of a scuffle between him & one of his mom's past boyfriends .

while he's made comments in the past that could be considered as disses .. he'll always be grateful for his time on disney & hsm will always hold a special place in his heart . i think a part of him was embarrassed back then but he's embraced it & honestly ? he's not sure if he would be where he's at today , had he not have gotten the role of beloved troy bolton .

everyone that has ties to disney / nick seems to have come out screwed up , whether it's dealing with mental health battles , addictions , etc .. rafe , like most kids , got lured in & did drugs during the hsm era . he's been very open about the effects of peer pressure & regrets even indulging in substances . he's currently on the path of sobriety , but it's a struggle ..

as of 2021 , roughly 12% of the world is a leftie ── rafe is included in the population !

love language : bullying .

knows how to play guitar , taught himself actually . he's definitely not by any means a pro , despite saying / thinking otherwise !

* 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 .

upcoming projects : baywatch , the disaster artist , the greatest showman , the beach bum , extremely wicked , shockingly evil & vile , scoob ! , gold , firestarter , tell me a story , roll bounce , the oc .

#📌#willowintro #sorry 4 the delay .. work kicked my @ss this week #val's intro should be up soon & then plots 😈#the way i could've KEPT going but i HAD to stop myself omg

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magnetic-rose · 4 years ago

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theory time!

i think people are focusing way too much on the jet ski thing to try to pin down mobius’ past. i think the jet ski could be an indication that he’s originally from the 90s, but i don’t actually think mobius was a jet ski salesman lol.

i think that before he was taken by the tva, mobius was actually some sort of counselor/social worker/therapist/etc, with his focus being helping children. the evidence:

- his establishing character moment is literally comforting a scared child.

- his entire “therapy session” with loki in episode 1. he was able to get loki to be emotionally honest with himself and confront the things he did wrong, while still being empathetic about it. he did a speedrun of loki’s character development in like, thirty minutes.

- says he wants to help loki because he saw a “scared little boy” once again an emphasis on being empathetic towards children.

- ”i know you have a soft spot for broken things.” because his past job was helping to fix “broken things?”

- his belief in the idea that people can change overriding his belief that everything is up to the time keepers. cracks of his old personality shining through?

-ravonna’s office is, for some reason, full of stuff that mobius brought back from other missions. there’s a lot of stuff he doesn’t remember, like the snow globe, to which she responds “you’re not my only analyst.” i think she was lying (not about him being the only analyst, but about his not being the only souvenirs in her office) to cover up the fact that they’ve probably wiped his memory multiple times. why else would they bring attention to the fact that he doesn’t remember bringing her a snow globe? he probably did, before his memory got wiped again for whatever reason. when he signs his name, he focuses on the pen she gave him. “franklin d roosevelt high school, i don’t remember this” (paraphrasing here.) perhaps it was the high school he used to be a counselor at before he got snatched.

- he’s the only tva agent to show concern towards people during the alabama apocalypse. when they enter the room with the refugees, a baby can be heard crying in the background. the guy who asks them if they’re here to help specifically mentions that there are kids present. mobius looks guilty that he’s unable to help throughout the entire exchange. once again an emphasis on children.

- when they find hunter c-20, he tries to comfort her and ground her back to reality: “what’s real? look at me... we’re gonna get you [home]. call the tva, let the infirmary know...” even after she reveals that she gave away how to find the time keepers, he puts his hand on hers and maintains eye contact to try to calm her down.

#mobius #mobius m mobius #loki #loki series #mcu

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genderisareligion · 3 years ago

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I hate my father tbh

Yesterday we went to a trip in the huge mall to get me new jackets and he noted how much I have changed since I got calmer I guess (I used to be easily upset and angry)

I mean he was kind, we spend nice time together in the mall, he supports me in my study.

But it made me think today how the truth is that I just started to put a better act of being respectful around him like honestly if I could be like how I truly feel towards him he'd surely beat me up or threaten to beat me up again, what a piece of shit.

It's just sooo sad I think he truly believes just because we spent some good time together we are all good now, fat chance the dynamic I have towards him isn't really different from the dynamic I have towards anyone I meet in context of work etc., the same dynamic I wouldn't miss if we were to part ways tbh.

He belongs to the "other men are worse" "you should have only positif feelingz or do you want me go mad??" moids that he puts a feminist facade in sense of what status it would bring if his daughters had higher education too to be independent to not marry an abusive moid (even though he is one but he is one of the GOOD ones right??)

when in truth is he is casually misogynistic whenever it suits him I genuinly hate how fucking lazy he is at home after work despite once having a "I go for walk for three hours" phase, not even during summer holidays he once bothered making anything in the household while my pick me mother who should finally regret having wasted her life unlike her younger sisters was on vacation. I think I adressed this twice or so and he just put a "I once did it, I do repair shittt" card. Guess who had to play cook as a fucking teen.

He went to therapy once and in the past everytime he demanded to know why I was pissy and I explained he'd just put a but but but just downplaying or dismissing my feelings, I felt like he only demanded to know so that he could "since to him it was a normal day when I was harmed by him" rationalize it away "look at me I don't care about that and let me tell you why" were the vibes I got.

I remember how he offered me to beat him while I was an angry teen which I did with a fist once and he acted all pained, piece of shit asked me if I did not feel sorry for him even though he never once felt sorry for me for the same thing when I was a kid who didn't know better. Funny how he had displayed extreme rage in public even towards his own boss yet never beat them up, as if he feared a thing called legal consequences.

I genuinly think once I'm independent and break contact with him that he will belong to one of the old fucks who ask on quora or yahoo why their children don't want to talk to them anymore, but never reflect on what kind of role their abusive actions against them played and even if they did they'd say it wasn't that bad, you deserved it, stop whining about it "my mom beat me up too" yeah your widow mom with 6 sons in a backwater muslim village with only income being neighbour donations.

Yeah anyways piece of shit was married before my mom and apparently he beat his first wife so hard that she had a miscarriage because of him.

And my mother knew her but didn't know she used to be married to him and when she announced her that she is going to get married to pos, his ex-wife warned her and told her not to.

Of course my dumb as shit pick me ma believed sHe wAs jUsT jEalOus, and I think she doesn't regret her worst decision in her wasted live enough.

His ex wife remarried years ago and I genuinly wish that she is married to some hvm but I bet she is either married to another physically abusive moid and gave it up or to a lvm who is perfect because he doesn't beat her up.

Jfc I'm so sorry you went through this anon. What kind of grown man looks at his own daughter and is like "I'm gonna ask her to beat me"?? Fathers are capable of the most deranged shit

I can relate to being told "others have it worse" with my dad, who wasn't nearly as bad as yours but definitely did the whole "my daughters will be highly educated and too independent for an abuser" despite being an abuser to my mom himself. He would act nicely (sometimes, depending on his sobriety I guess) to us and then treat her like he was a monster and say the most vile shit about her to us, yet we were supposed to believe that he thought women were smart and capable humans worthy of respect. Like bro you can't even treat the woman you "love most" that way, so...

Anyway daughters with shit fathers who survived deserve reparations

#shadow.txt #ask.txt

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masterweaverx · 4 years ago

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RWBY Parents from Best to Worst

That’s right, everybody, I’m a-going to rank how terrible these people are to and for their kids! For the sake of covering as many parents as I can, I am defining ‘parent’ as either ‘legal guardian’ or ‘the one that gave birth to you’, and excluding relationships that are explicitly something else. That does mean that we’re going to miss out on some very important people, though, so before we begin, let’s have some Honorable Mentions!

Yang Xiao Long and Winter Schnee: Professional Momsisters

“That’s why big sisters come first, to protect the ones that come after.” I don’t know who said that to these two, if anybody actually did, but it’s a quote that most definitely applies to them. Not only would they take a bullet (or a sword, or a fireball) for their younger siblings, they took the time out to give them affection and training that they needed when their own parents weren’t quite doing the job. If I absolutely had to rank one of them as the better momsister, I’d say Yang, but that’s really only because Yang had less to deal with overall; a depressed single dad not being able to pull himself together just doesn’t stack up with an abusive powermonger, a self-loathing drunkard, and all the institutional bigotry and pressure of Atlas. Plus, you know, Winter went into the military for a bit. Still, pretty good track record considering!

Klein Sieben: Doing the work of seven good dads

Look, there is only one reason Klein wasn’t listed before the momsisters, and that reason is that he is technically the hired help (and could therefore become the fired help). He is, hands down, a better surrogate parent than Yang and Winter, providing guidance and care to all the Schneeblings and very effectively undoing the damage Jacques Gele (HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!) did to them. And he even helped out Willow! If he was allowed to do more, he would absolutely be My Real Dad of the year.

Qrow Branwen: “The only one that gets to be sad in this house is me!”

Qrow has a lot of flaws. Like, so so many flaws. As Yang said in a noncanon spinoff, he’s cool but not exactly a role model. Thing is, you don’t have to be a role model to be a good parent--you just have to make sure your kids (or nieces in this case) get good advice and the opportunity to grow into the best versions of themselves they can be. And when Qrow’s not beating himself up or drowning his sorrows, he’s actually very good at helping Yang and Ruby. Honestly the only reason he’s not on the actual list is because he’s technically not a parent.

Uncle Copper: Adopting a blind kid automatically makes you cool

So here we have a character that appeared in a single flashback in the novels, but from what we do know he was pretty likely to be a good guy. Like, raising a blind kid is hard enough; raising a blind kid in a desert after their actual parents got nommed by sand is so, so much more difficult. And yet, this guy said ‘If nobody else is going to adopt this kid I will!’ and by all measures he was a very caring and loving guy. Also, shout-out to the tribe, who took Fox in after Copper got killed by some maniac (and also killed said maniac). Fox has had a rough life, but it’s been filled with supportive people. Not everyone can say that.

Starr Sanzang: She put up with Sun

Sure, she’s only had one scene in one novel, but Starr showed patience and caring and... probably did a lot to make sure Sun stays as aggressively cheery and patient as he is. Plus she’s got a dojo in Vacuo now... okay, I’ll be honest, I don’t know nearly enough about her to really assess her. Still, as far as cousins go, Sun Wukong could do a lot worse. And there are the implications of their motifs to factor in...

Rhodes: If you’d done even just a little bit more--!

So, reasonably, what would you do when you see a little girl enslaved with a shock collar? Would you (A) get the girl out of there, (B) arrest the woman doing it, (C) try to get the girl therapy, or (D) all of the above? If you picked (E) secretly train the girl in swordplay so she can join a huntsman academy when she comes of age, then congratulations! You’ve given her hope! Good for you! And what if she snaps after five years of literal torture, kills her abuser, and then turns to you for comfort and/or approval? Welp, obviously she’s an irredeemable criminal and you have to bring her in, crushing all the faith she had in you and herself.

Seriously Rhodes, dropped the ball hard on that one. I’m only mentioning you because you had such a serious impact on Cinder’s development.

Brother Gods: Creating and destroying entire species

Like, okay. Look. These are the two that made humanity, so an argument could be made that they’re humanity’s parents. But, by the strict and arbitrary rules I have selected, they aren’t parents. And even if they were, they would be just the worst sort of parents possible. Darkbro is bad enough, what with viewing only strength as valuable and creating the Grimm and, you know, annihilating humanity that one time, but he’s at least honest and honorable. Not like the cryptic Lightbro, who doesn’t bother making sure people understand him, who doesn’t even keep his own promises to his brother... I get that they’re basically overpowered children. Yeah, they are. Still... kinda terrible.

So, now that that’s all done, let’s get to the actual list! After the break, so you don’t get stuck scrolling a lot. RWBY parents, from best to worst, are as follows:

23. Saphron and Terra Cotta-Arc: Two moms are better than none!

If I’m rating all the parents, and I am, then I have to acknowledge their flaws. And... these two don’t have any! Okay, fine, they used Adrian in a criminal scheme that one time (and that was literally just asking him to cry on command) and maybe Terra’s overworked and, to be fair, parenting a young kid is a lot different than parenting a teenager. But not only did they support their kid, they helped out all the kids that needed to room with them for a while! Saphron may also qualify as a momsister, depending on how well the Arcs managed their massive-numbered horde of kids. Look, the point is: Excellent parents. Bam.

22. Yatsuhashi's Parents: Their slipups weren’t their fault

When your kid can wipe your memories and you don’t know about it, you’re bound to get a few mistakes down the line. Luckily for everyone, after the whole incident with Hiyoko Yatsu came clean, and his parents made absolutely sure that he understood (A) that having such an ability was a big responsibility and (B) that even though he really screwed up he was NOT evil. Given the man that Yatsuhashi is now, I’m pretty confident in calling them great parents--even if they only appeared in a book flashback.

21. Coco's Dad: He exists!

That’s... honestly all I really know about him. He’s mentioned once in the books, and Coco has a few brothers. I’m kind of just assuming he’s a good parent from that, even if he didn’t figure out how to help Coco with her claustrophobia. So... yeah, shrug, Coco’s got a dad.

20: Ghira and Kali Belladonna: Actually marvelous people

Loving. Caring. Mentoring, protective. You may be asking why these two aren’t lower on the list, given that they are absolutely great for Blake, and I’ll have to admit that they only really made one slipup--letting Adam talk with Blake.

And okay, look. The thing about people like Adam is that they don’t start out showing their true colors. It’s always a slow, gentle broil. Blake was young and stupid, Adam was cute and edgy, and these parents want their daughter to be happy. So not twigging on what Adam really was--or at least not being able to properly convince Blake--that’s entirely understandable. And they did instill her with a strong enough moral code to leave when enough was enough, and they absolutely welcomed her back with open arms. Frankly, if the lower-listing parents didn’t exist, I would happily say they are the best parents in the show.

19. Pietro Polendina: He took Penny’s death flags

When you carve out part of your literal soul to bring your girl back from the dead, you get MAJOR parenting props. And even beyond that, Pietro is an absolutely caring and supportive father to everyone’s favorite bundle of sunshine. Even when she’s put in the rough position she was in, Pietro did his best to help her out. His one big flaw, though, is being overprotective and a bit presumptive. He does want Penny to live her best life, but he also can be just a touch too quick to say he knows what’s best for her. To his credit, when he’s called out on it, he does mend his ways. And he’s at least better then the GENERAL...

18. Salem and Ozma: Good parents, surprisingly!

Sure, Salem decided that world conquest was a good idea and wanted to put down anybody that wasn’t directly from her bloodline. Sure, she psychologically manipulated her husband when he had doubts. And, being fair, it’s highly likely that her four daughters were killed in the crossfire of her and Ozma’s little tuff. But! That was likely an accident, she’s been shown to still clearly mourn their passing, and before that point she absolutely loved and adored the girls. Ozma gets points for being a generally good person who fell in love with her before she became unstable and, honestly, was just trying to help his girls escape... and hey, he blames himself for their deaths. As does Salem.

Just because they’re kind of directly responsible for a LOT of Remnant’s woes doesn’t mean they aren’t good parents!

17. Will and Meg Scarlatina: Estranged but loving...

Yes, I know Rooster Teeth hasn’t officially confirmed that Bill is Will. I still believe though! Also it makes for a great picture, in any case.

Look, you can be the best and most loving parents ever--and from what we saw in the novels Will was definitely loving--but if you split up, your kid is going to get a little stressed. And hey, it’s not like these two were terrible people! Velvet’s just got a lot going on because of things entirely out of her control. Parents are people too, but sometimes the stress of one situation will leak out into another. Just... give people time to adapt.

16. Nicholas Schnee: The man, the legend, the titan!

Nicholas Schnee is the rockstar success story of Remnant. Some guy from Mantle put in all the work to make the SDC, and honestly from what little we know about him he was probably a great guy! But if we’re registering parental goodness, well... he wasn’t quite smart enough to warn Willow away from abusive gold diggers, and he’s not present when the story starts. So, yeah, even if he was a good parent otherwise--and I think he would be--he kinda... didn’t put in the work to prevent Willow breaking later. Still. Not deliberately terrible!

15. Li and An Ren: Don’t die in front of your kids, folks!

Seriously, it traumatizes them, especially if there’s a Grimm assault going on at the same time. Oh, double-especially if you reassure them that everything will be fine literally the second before the roof collapses on your head. And... well, okay, you couldn’t help your son and some random girl being the only survivors...

In all seriousness, that whole situation was absolutely out of their control. And before their deaths they were shown to be loving, wise, giving good advice to Lie Ren and helping him understand what the right thing to do was. Honestly, if they hadn’t died in front of him he’d be a lot better, mentally speaking. His trauma is not their fault. Plus Li went out distracting the big Grimm so Lie could run. No greater love hath man, indeed.

14. Summer Rose: Loving mother, ticking trauma bomb

When she was around, Summer Rose was probably the best mom Yang and Ruby could ask for. Sure, everyone could be exaggerating a little on how great a person she was--fond memories and grief can do that--but even taking that into account, she was probably a great and wonderful woman to be raised by. And hey, it turns out the reason she vanished was to go confront basically the Devil Herself so her kids wouldn’t have to live in a world where she existed! I can totally get the logic behind that.

And to be fair, “I’m going to do this on my own so nobody else suffers” is a pretty common character flaw among the RWBY cast. There are entire arcs where each character learns to overcome it. Still, wandering off on your lonesome without telling anyone was not the smartest move, Summer. Especially if you expected to die--which, you know, Devil Herself, high probability. And you know, if you had died, that would be bad enough, but now Ruby’s practically certain to have to fight your grimmified self. At least she figured out what happened to you before Salem decided to hammer in the trauma button, so she’ll be a little more ready, but... seriously.

13. The Arc Parents: Look, you try juggling eight kids!

To be fair, neither Arc parent has appeared on screen, but we can derive some of their traits from their kids. Jaune’s father said women like confident men. Jaune’s mother said strangers are friends you haven’t met yet. Jaune’s sister moved out of the house and (it’s implied) was happier for it. Jaune himself took his family’s ancestral weapon and ran off to Beacon to become a hero without any training whatsoever....

I get the impression that these two are not horrible parents, but they aren’t really stellar ones either. They slip up, don’t understand their children, give some really bad advice (as well as really good advice), and... look, it’s kind of middle of the road here. The Arcs could be wonderful people that just weren’t ready for the complexities of raising eight kids. I come from a big family myself, I know it can be stressful. And their kids turned out well anyway, so...

12. The Mother of Pyrrha Nikos: You taught your girl too well

Hero complexes are funny things. And Pyrrha Nikos... in retrospect, she was really hiding a lot of insecurities under that facade. Laying it all at this woman’s feet is unfair, I’ll admit, a lot of that came from being The Mistral Champion. But... with stories and fairy tales of heroes, it’s not hard to imagine a genuinely loving mother making sure her daughter knew right from wrong, always knew to act with mercy and protect the weak, and made her hardline into being a hero at the cost of her own... sense of self. It wouldn’t even be something either of them noticed, really. Good people can make bad choices sometimes.

11: Ilia's Parents: Oh god, can good people make bad choices...

So the idea of getting Ilia up to Atlas for a better life, that rocks (if you assume the propaganda to be true). And I’m certain her parents absolutely did what they did out of love. But what they did, you see, was tell Ilia to hide a very important part of herself from anybody who could find out, since it was likely she would be kicked out of the school she was in if people found out she was a faunus.

Which actually, did a lot of damage.

I mean look at Ilia now! She has trouble expressing herself until she explodes, she follows a crowd instead of her own morals, she broke down in tears when she finally did the right thing... Conceal Don’t Feel is never good advice, and these two went on and said ‘Honey, because of racism, you have to hide the fact you literally change color when you have emotions.’ Oh, and then they died offscreen--again, not their fault, but boy howdy did it give Ilia a complex.

10. Taiyang Xiao Long: Slumped at just the wrong time

Honestly, Tai as he is now is a wonderful dad. Supportive of his daughters in their time of need, able to lift their mood with a tasteless joke or two, frankly if we were assessing just how they were in the moment... I’d still be a little critical of his refusal to talk about the girls’ mothers, but hey, that’s minor. Compared to, you know...

Okay, so this needs serious addressing. Taiyang cannot be blamed for falling into a depressive slump. People can hurt, and need time to heal. That said, his depressive slump is at the root of Yang’s many issues, and frankly if she hadn’t had to pull herself together for Ruby she would be a major mess. It’s a bad situation all round, even if it’s not his fault.

9. Willow Schnee: “Kids, don’t wind up like me.”

Drowning her sorrows isn’t the best way to handle being stuck in an abusive marriage, but it was the best way Willow could think of. And, yeah, that really cut into her skills as a mom... but despite that, she did her darnedest to make sure her kids had what they needed to free themselves. Heck, once Jacques was out of the picture, she even pulled herself together and risked her life to save them! A broken women, to be sure, but not a shattered one.

8. Neptune's Mother: She exists!

Being fair, there’s not a lot to go on here. We know Neptune’s mother is a lawyer (insert evil lawyer joke), that their family are famous swimmers, and that his brother caused his hydrophobia by tossing him into the water. It does paint a bit of a picture, though, of everyone having expectations for Neptune that he was not able to live up to. Pretty poor parenting, if it’s true.

7. Nora Valkyrie's Mom: Come get your girl!

Literally the only factoid we have about Mama Valkyrie is that she abandoned her to the Grimm. We don’t know when this was, and it’s feasible it’s a case of ‘Oh No I Lost Track Of My Daughter In The Panic!’ But given we see young Nora scavenging for scraps of food... I’m not optimistic on her parenting skills.

6. Raven Branwen: "I wasn’t part of your life, how could I ruin it?”

Raven is just not a good mom at all. And, surprisingly, she seems to know it. Or that’s one interpretation of her character. The thing about Raven is that she plays her cards close to chest. We still don’t know why she left her daughter, and we only have inklings about the reasoning behind her behavior once they reunited. In the end, though... she did concede to Yang, she did apologize for something, and there’s a very deliberate indication that a lot of her behavior is a mask to both others and herself. So, terrible mother, for the moment, but self-aware.

5. Salem's Father: Explicitly noted as cruel

We get a bit more about Salem’s father from ‘Fairy Tales Of Remnant’, how he became possessive of the last remnant of his wife and locked her away in a tower. From what we know of him, that’s all he did--lock her away and not let her go. Still makes him a terrible dad. And with this, we transition firmly into the most definitively abusive parent figures. Everyone before this might have the excuse of not realizing what was going on or having their own damage, but now we’ve got parents actively deciding to make their kids’ lives worse.

4. Jacques Gelé: HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!

His children are property, to be manipulated and traded for the benefit of the company he married into, and any defiance is to be quelled instantly. He is manipulative, scheming, abusive, and frankly the worst sort of scumbag to ever wear a white suit. He does have the single redeeming quality of only leaning into the punishment if it benefits him; nobody would ever accuse the man of being needlessly cruel. His name is Jacques, and you will hate him... especially on the rare occasions he actually has a point.

3. The Marigolds: There’s no peppy tagline, they’re just mean

There’s not a picture of these jerks on the wiki, so you’ll have to make do with the woman that is no longer their daughter. See all that empty space around her? That’s about as close as they ever got. May spells out how much they hated her for having a heart, and how little they cared about her as a person, in one epic line. And even if they have other redeeming qualities (unlikely) we can tell they’d probably still be terrible parents because of how sleazy May’s cousin is. Honestly, for once I’m glad some characters don’t get pictures. They don’t deserve to be remembered. They aren’t even the cool kind of evil, they’re just... gross.

2. Marcus Black: Look if you train your kid to be a killer...

...you’re going to have to expect them to kill you. I mean, you basically ripped apart Mercury’s legs, man. He had to get cyberlegs. Also, you used your semblance to steal his. Which, given that semblances come from aura, and that aura is a manifestation of the soul, is kinda... that’s a deeply personal and intimate violation. Sure, you got your assassin kid. And can we talk about the fact that Marcus was an assassin? It’s not a pretty job. I guess I can see all the abuse--physical and mental--as a good way to train up another assassin, but... geeze, if that’s your goal, why did you use your own kid?! Why not hire some angsty teenager?! Yeah, no, Markus Black stood high on my list of parental monsters... and was only toppled by the arrival of one other.

1. Madame of the Glass Unicorn: She only appeared in one episode and she rocketed to the top of this list, that should tell you something

Let’s be clear here: What Madame did to Cinder is bad enough. It was literally slavery. Enforced by a shock collar. And because the collar looked like a necklace, she pulled it off in front of I don’t know how many clients. Granted, said clients were racists, why else would they be customers at a ‘We Do Not Serve Faunus’ hotel, but keeping her torture just out of the public eye very clearly shows both that she knew what she was doing was illegal and that she was clever enough to avoid detection.

Oh... and then there are her birth daughters.

With Cinder, she was abusive to a dangerous degree. With her daughters, she was permissive, not only allowing but encouraging them to bully their adoptive sister. The whole point of parenthood is to teach your children how to become the best version of themselves, but Madame didn’t even bother to instill a semblance of morality in these girls. She used them as extensions of her will, and they obliviously played along because that was all they knew.

You’d think the biggest monster on the show would be the Grimm woman, but no--it’s some random lady with a hotel.

#RWBY #Analysis #Ranking #I had the urge to make this #Feel free to disagree #Some of this is opinion-based

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comfortwriting · 4 years ago

Text

Stop Crying Your Heart Out - G.W

George Weasley X reader imagine/one shot inspired by the song ‘Stop Crying Your Heart Out’ by Oasis

A/N: This is dedicated to those who experienced loss, whether it was in 2020 or at any other time in their life. I have PTSD and struggle with survivors guilt due to my dads passing, so if you need anyone to talk to my inbox is open, always.

About: George adapting to life after Fred’s death over the years until he becomes an old man and the reader, his girlfriend supporting him through it all.

Theme: Death, Loss, Greif, Mental Health, Recovery.

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD, Self Harm and Suicidal Thoughts. Depression, Survivors Guilt, Therapy Sessions and Anti-depressants.

On May 2nd 1998, your boyfriend, George had his life changed forever. His best-friend, partner in crime, his twin brother was killed in an explosion during The Battle Of Hogwarts.

You and the Weasleys were in pain, so much pain that it drove Molly to murder Bellatrix to save her daughter Ginny, Ron being blinded by rage and vowing to take down whichever Death Eater he came across. George couldn’t bear to be around his family anymore, he couldn’t live above the flat either.

George fell apart completely, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, he lost himself - he couldn’t turn up to the shop knowing his brother wouldn’t be there to crack a joke as soon as the door opened. You spent so many nights holding him in your arms as he cried, cursing Merlin for taking Fred away, cursing him even more for not taking him instead.

With the money you saved up you managed to buy a house, where George could felt comfortable but even then George covered every mirror in the house.

Passing Fred a cup of water, he sat up in bed and out stretched his hand, his sleeve riding up his arm. Noticing the red lines on his wrists you knew what he had done, and your heart yet took another blow. Before you could utter another word George took the glass from you and asked you to leave the room.

Hold up Hold on Don't be scared You'll never change what's been and gone

After the first six months you were able to convince George to see a muggle therapist, you assured him he wouldn’t need to go over the details to a muggle who wouldn’t believe such a thing as wizards and witches, so he agreed and decided to get help; the flashbacks, the guilt, his panic attacks and self-harm wasn’t getting any better and you couldn’t lose him, not after all the losses you couldn’t prevent.

On the days George could sleep, he would wake up screaming, shaking and with tears in his eyes, hyperventilating, struggling to figure out where he was and what was real.

Unfortunately, George had to go over each and every detail, his head banging, his heart pounding, his chest in agony, his body shaking; but this was the start of his journey to recovery and a certain Magpie would be with him every step of the way. Although he didn’t mention word of the wizarding world, everything else that would make him seem sane to a muggle he brought up into the air.

“After our sessions together and your evaluation, it is very clear to us that you have PTSD and Survivors Guilt, Mr Weasley. You have gone through a horrific event and you are suffering because of it, many patients who have gone through similar events in life experience such conditions and it is our job to help.”

George shuffled in his seat, the ticking of the clock sounding like stamping feet going up and down stairs. His hands went clammy and he felt ashamed.

“It is nothing to be ashamed of Mr Weasley, there are plenty of other out there who are living their lives day to day with PTSD. The death of your brother is not your fault and you have no reason to feel guilty, you have every right to continue living your life. You have a girlfriend, you’ve got your family, and I’m sure they will be more than understanding.”

May your smile (may your smile) Shine on (shine on) Don't be scared (don't be scared) Your destiny may keep you warm

A year on from George’s diagnosis he was taking medication prescribed from his therapist, he felt ashamed at first but you were understanding and supported him, and so did his family. He started to eat and shower more often but the mirrors still stayed covered.

George started making huge steps, he managed to leave the bedroom and go for walks outside in neighbourhood. Once a week straight after his counselling sessions, the two of you would spend the evening at the Weasley’s for dinner; George could finally look his parents and siblings in the face for the first time since his brothers death.

Every now and then George would flash a smile at you and would laugh, although it was rare, when he did it would brighten up the world you were living in, it would patch up the injured parts of your heart.

Stepping out into Diagon Alley, George took a deep breath and a firm grip on your hand. “It’s okay if you aren’t ready” you reminded him “we can go back home”

George pondered for a moment, his head screaming at him to go back home and to get in bed and to never come back out. Then out of nowhere a single Magpie flew past him, landing right in front of him. The beautiful little bird turned around to face him, staring at him and then flying in the direction of the shop.

George took a deep breath and swallowed hard “I’m ready” he replied and followed the bird.

'Cause all of the stars are fading away Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday Take what you need, and be on your way And stop crying your heart out

Five years on, George still woke up through the night in cold sweats, sometimes he would go for days without eating or showering but on other days he would work at the shop alongside Ron feeling Fred’s presence surrounding him; he would also spend time with his two year old son, he named after his brother who had the same mischief brewing inside of him.

The guilt didn’t eat George up the way it did before, the pain was still there - it never went away but he made room for it, learning what to do with it: improving the shop and increasing sales, spending more time with his family, going out on more adventurous date nights with you, now his wife; and finally accepting that he has every right to be alive.

George would stay up at night, worrying that he would never see Fred again, even after his own death. Late at night, he would stand in the garden, talking out to Fred as if he were stood next to him. One evening in particular, George spent hours outside, talking and laughing out loud, only to be followed by cries and wearing.

The next morning, George and little Fred were playing in the garden, George wowing his son with magic tricks. Watching the two of them through the kitchen window drinking a cup of tea, a magpie flew into the garden, soaring around little Fred and then around George. The two of them distracted by the magnificent bird before it departed, George turned around and looked at you through the window, smiling wide.

“That was him” he mouthed.

“It always will be” you mouthed back.

Get up (get up) Come on (come on) Why're you scared? (I'm not scared) You'll never change what's been and gone

“I can’t believe how fast he’s grown” you smiled, looking at your son sleeping in your husbands arms.

You walked over and sat next to them on the sofa, the warm fire making everything feel calm, still and safe. George was slowly making progress, he worked at the shop once a week and would see the rest of his family on weekends bringing his son to see his grandparents.

“He’s growing a little too fast” George whispered, stroking his sons head “I want him to stay little forever” he mumbled in a sad tone.

The two of you stood up and put your son into his bed, tucking him in, you switched on his night light and went to your own bedroom.

Sitting on the bed next to George you placed a soft kiss on his neck and held his hand.

“Please don’t be scared of him growing up, he’s not going anywhere.” You reassured George.

George nodded but the worries of losing his son flooded his mind.

“D-do.. w-would you like to have more children?” George asked shyly, finally looking into your eyes.

“With you, of course I would.” You smiled at George, rubbing his cheek.

'Cause all of the stars are fading away Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday Just take what you need, and be on your way And stop crying your heart out

Ten years on, George started to see his therapist less often and his medication was on a lower dosage. He still had flashbacks and still felt guilty but for the first time, the covering was pulled off each and every mirror. He spent more time working at the shop with Ron and the Weasleys were around more often.

Your son Fred was now at Hogwarts and was making his father proud, “He’s just like his father, even more so his uncle!” you were told in letters that were sent home.

Your three daughters, especially the youngest gave George the motivation to keep going, to keep living, smiling and laughing on the days which felt like the hardest but George still couldn’t help feeling like time was going too fast and that Fred had been forgotten.

Looking in the mirror George noticed his first few strands of grey hair, his heart dropped realising that he had only seen Fred as an old man once in his life with long silver hair and a impressive beard, at the time he wouldn’t have guessed for one moment his brother wouldn’t make it to 21 - had it really been that long since his brother had been taken away from him?

George stopped staring and searching himself in the mirror and burst into tears, wanting to hide himself away from the rest of the world.

We're all of the stars, we're fading away Just try not to worry, you'll see us some day Just take what you need, and be on your way And stop crying your heart out

Sitting in the front room surrounded by your kids and their children you cried into a tissue, unable to wrap your head around that your life long partner had passed away. Your youngest grandchild in her last year of Hogwarts walked up to you, knelt beside you and wrapped you in her arms.

Ron, Ginny and their families were coming over to help sort out George’s affairs, they knew that you couldn’t do it alone - especially after how close you and your husband were after the death of his brother.

Washing up the pots and pans in the kitchen with your youngest daughter casting magic to do the sweeping and mopping, she pointed out of the kitchen window, amazed at the sight in front of her.

“Mum, look.”

Looking up from your muggle distraction you almost dropped the dish in the soapy water, your mouth wide open.

Outside in the garden, two plump magpies were hopping around the garden together, searching for shiny materials.

Deep down in your heart you knew that George was finally at peace, he was with Freddie and he wanted to let you know that he was okay and that you didn’t need to hurt for his departure.

“That's them, mum.”

Tear of happiness welled in your eyes and spilled down your now wrinkled and age spotted cheeks.

“It is.”

Stop crying your heart out Stop crying your heart out Stop crying your heart out

#george weasley #george wealsey x reader #george wealsey imagine #george weasley fanfiction #fred weasley #one shots #oneshot #imagines #fred weasley imagine #x reader #Weasley #sadness #emotional #song prompts #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter

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