#because i did that shit all the time as a kid
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When I was a kid, my parents apologized to me often. They did things that were wrong and admitted to it. They expected the exact same behavior from me and they got it.
I remember going to a friend's house and telling his dad that he needed to apologize because he threw something that was important to my friend and it made my friend upset. That's not how I put it as a child, but you get the idea.
"Moms and dads don't apologize to their kids. You should know that. We're the adults."
"But my mom and dad apologize to me when they do bad things!" I protested, whined even.
"Oh..."
Most poignant "oh..." I've heard to this day. He had no idea other people treated their kids with respect and dignity. He thought all parents were assholes to their kids. It was so clear, the look on his face, he hadn't considered apologizing for what he had done wrong in a very long time.
Apologizing takes integrity, admitting you're wrong for hurting someone requires empathy that I fear was not taught to as many of us as it should have been.
People think admitting they did something wrong means they lose authority or leverage, but in fact it's the opposite.
I am incapable of respecting my father-in-law because when he was confronted by my wife and told that what he was doing was hurtful and wrong, he tried yelling over her and telling her to "just get over it." Those are the words of a pathetic man not worth my time, not to mention my respect. Yet he demanded my respect. Over and over he has demanded respect from me and I will never be able to give it to him because clearly if you can't apologize for hurting your own child, you do not love them. If you can't bear to stop a behavior that is hurting them, you do not love them.
If you can't hold yourself accountable to the expectations you have for others and how they should be treating you, then you don't love them.
If you can't admit that you're a piece of shit sometimes, then I'm just going to assume you're divorced from reality.
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sketchbook doodles as it’s 4 am so I thought maybe . I’d share my specific kira headcanons from my twit thread. Strap in its unda the cut and it’s a lot because I’m normal about him whatever
- HATES dogs due to an incident from when he was a kid, slight phobia
- I’m always 50/50 on this but I like the headcanon of kira potentially having a type of albinism, both his parents carried the gene
-he’s superstitious, on account of his mother being VERY superstitious, which probably didn’t help with any compulsions he was dealing with internally as a kid and into adulthood
-Liked to burn ants and bigger bugs with a magnifying glass as a kid
-surprisingly low pain tolerance
-Has never kissed another person (until he kissed shinobu on the cheek during BTD)
this extends to other things do with this information what you will *large sign in flashing lights that says VIRGINNNNNN*
-he does not know how to kiss. because he hasn't done it to an actual living breathing person, if he were too in earnest it's intense he's all teeth and tongue it would be literally terrible, but he does give sweet knuckle kisses
he can give a polite cheek kiss but if he had to do one of the lips he’d be cooked like it would be over for him he might bite your tongue off on accident(or..?) like ur better off sticking two fingers in his mouth and hoping for the best instead of getting your lip ripped off
-absolutely LOVES the smell of a fresh coat of nail polish, doesn't care that it makes him light headed
-super veiny hands and wrists one paper cut and it's over for him
-killer queen feels really cold to touch, but its arms and hands are hot
-average at playing the violin, does dabble from time to time in the quiet of his home but it's not very often
-yes we know he sucks fingers but he also likes to likely gnaw because he likes the texture on his teeth (not in a cannibal way though he thinks the idea of actually eating flesh is disgusting and irresponsable)
-just really loves neutrals and easter colors, designer suits all the way obvi
-when he first gained killer queen (I hc he was about 19) it always looked like this pic below with the exposed skull, only when he started to better mask his homicidal tendencies and urges did KQ gain its "mask"" and how we see it now
-despite his obvious feline affiliations he doesn't want a pet cat, the hair getting everywhere would drive him crazy (plus he's got killer queen
-kira didn't name killer queen himself, the only time it ever spoke to him was once. when he first manifested KQ after the arrow, Killed Queen told Kira it's name quietly while standing behind him, this scared the shit out of him, which sounds badass and spooky but was also probably subconsciously because Kira had a Queen CD he purchased a year prior that he liked WELL UR JUST SEVENTEEN AND ALL YOU WANNA DO IS DISAPPEAR
-occasionally drinks (that's canon) but meaning he likes to get winedrunk with his girlfriends on special occasions, or socially drinks when forced to go out for company outings, once came home decently hammered and almost phoned a travel agency to get a one way plane ticket to France to see the Mona Lisa ,
did not follow through with this when he woke up the next morning. The idea of seeing her at the Louvre is almost too much for him, feels like touching an exposed nerve.
-is 100% having sloppy makeout sessions with his severed hand girlfriend with candles, dim lighting, and mood records + thinks it's the peak of romance and gets giddy about it like someone with their first crush. Because he's insane
-can feel a phantom sense for Sheer Heart Attack, no pain due to its durability, but can feel the heat tracking in his hand and it readying to explode once it’s found its target. The tracking feels like a tingling sensation to him akin to a compass, like a pulling. and the explosion feels like a pleasant blossom of warmth
-loves the subtle flavor of different lotions (not freshly applied) that linger on the skin, salty fruity fragrant and slightly chemically is his favorite. 🤢
- tries to be incredibly Normal when going for routine dental checkups and cleanings for obvious reasons. When he was in his early 20s and didn’t quite have his urges and homicidal tendencies in check- one of his early victims was a dental hygienist
-his dad(yoshihiro) was into cheesy action movies and would often take kira when he was a kid to the theater, kira didn’t really care for it overall, the explosions were always cool though.
He doesn’t watch movies often but he doesn’t mind drama and romance.
-gets cold pretty easily
-scary good at walking quietly, like a cat stalking prey, when he started working at kameyu- he went to hand some documents to a coworker, startling them pretty bad bc they didn’t hear him come up- he IMMEDIATELY stopped doing that unconsciously after that incident, he makes sure his footsteps are “normal” are soft, not aggressive, but can hear heard enough.
- in the moment he likes the feeling of blood drying on his skin, but once the adrenaline wears off he’ll wrinkle his nose and be like >:// then hop in the bath to clean up(it’s usually not his bath)
-went to the same school Reimi Sugimoto attended in Morioh, never once did he hold a solid conversation with her, she only spoke to him briefly once about missed homework. But that’s not to say he didn’t know who she was. Eerie :(
- His SECOND favorite early spring, likes taking strolls along to coast with his girlfriends, enjoys the breeze.
But his FIRST favorite season is summer, when all the tourists come to Morioh. It’s easy for people traveling to simply disappear 😨
-aside from nail biting, had a compulsive skin picking habit as a child but this was quickly squashed by his mother who’d give him a swat on the wrist each time he was caught
-subconsciously wishes his girlfriends could grab him back- (this isn’t to say he wants to rest of the person though 🤢) a squeeze on the waist or shoulder would probably do him good but it’s not like he consciously yearns for this- it would shatter his otherwise perfect lived fantasy and setup of control 😒
-his favorite finger is tied between either the pointer or the ring finger. He likes being able to bend the fingers and do what he wants, relishes in the subtle crack of the joints 🤢
anddddd that’s all for now. hell isn’t hot enough for him
#my art#yoshikage kira#kira yoshikage#yoshikage kira headcanons#headcanons#jjba#jojos bizarre adventure#diu#diamond is unbreakable#suggestive#just in case !!#jjba headcanons#my stuff
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something like love
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 4.1k
c/a - language
a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! i’m sure paige’s mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)
“Will you go out with me?”
When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.
“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.
Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”
“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”
“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”
“Exactly.”
“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”
“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”
Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”
“I’m for real.”
Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”
“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”
“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”
“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”
Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”
“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”
“Paige,” Azzi sighs.
“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.
Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.
So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.
Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.
“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”
Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.
“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”
“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”
“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”
“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”
“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.
Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”
Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”
“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”
“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”
“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.
“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”
“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.
“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”
“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”
“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”
“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”
“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“
“I get it.”
Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”
“Okay.” Paige nudges Azzi’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”
Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.
“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”
This slide is titled ‘Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.
“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.
“P, I don’t—“
“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”
Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.
“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.
“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”
“Yep.”
“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”
Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”
“And why should I help you?”
Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”
Azzi raises an eyebrow.
“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”
Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.
It sounds like hell.
Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.
Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”
She is so fucking gone for this girl.
————————————-
They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.
It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.
Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”
Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”
Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”
“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.
Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”
Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”
“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”
Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”
“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”
“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”
“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”
Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.
“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”
Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.
“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”
Every bone in Jennie’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”
Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”
“So…”
“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”
Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.
Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”
Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.
“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”
“…Okay?”
“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”
Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”
Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”
If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.
“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.
“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”
Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”
Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”
“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”
“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”
Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”
Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”
“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”
“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”
Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.
Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?
“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”
Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.
“I think that’s perfect.”
————————————
One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.
“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.
“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”
They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.
“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”
Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.
Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.
“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.
Almost.
Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”
There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.
Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?
Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”
This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.
“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”
It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.
If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.
“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.
“Yeah…” Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.
“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?
“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.
Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”
Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?
Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”
KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”
“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”
“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”
“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.
“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.
“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”
“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”
“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.
During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.
Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”
“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”
At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”
“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”
“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”
Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”
Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?
“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”
Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.
“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.
“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”
Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”
For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.
This might be more complicated than she thought.
#paige bueckers#azzi fudd#pazzi#paige buckets#the people's princess#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#fake dating#pazzi fics
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I was born blind in my left eye. It never got fixed. Many of these points are true in my experience, except I still have an eyeball. Here are some additional fun facts from my realm of experience:
-my elementary school knew I was blind in one eye but did not tell my parents. I started to get a little farsighted in the 4th grade so I went to get readers and the eye doctor told me, a nine year old girl, that my life was forever fucked and I’d never be fully independent, never drive, never go to college, because I was disabled and it was too late to fix it. We got a second opinion. And then a third.
- (you can try to fix my kind of blindness up until about the age of five because the brain is still really elastic and capable of fixing the broken shit. They fix it by putting a patch over your good eye to force your bad eye to see. They tried it when I was nine but it was too late, so I essentially spent a year having my life ruined by being suddenly completely blind all the time and it sucked ass.)
- you make a great marksman and baseball batter once you figure out how your lack of depth perception works. Not a great outfielder though.
- things sometimes just kind of vanish on you. I got a massive concussion as a kid from running into a pole head on. The pole had been there as long as I could remember. I interacted with the pole every day. But one day I was running and the last thing I remember is thinking, hey, where did the pole go? Like the equipment holding it up was still there but the pole just seemed gone. This also happened several times to me when trying to catch pop flies or headbutt soccer balls. They’d just go away.
- people will indeed forget all the time and throw shit at you from the blind side and hit you in the head, or hug you and scare the shit out of you. A boy asked me out once after he hit me with a frisbee on my blind side.
- and then some people will always think of you when they encounter one eyed things. When I was an RA in college, some of my residents were so very pleased to bring me a one-eyed goldfish they’d found in the feeder tank at the pet store 😩 we named him one eyed Willy and he lived for like five years and survived two cross country trips in a car (in a Nalgene bottle both ways)
- I don’t have a traditional lazy eye (my eyeball can see but there is no connection between it and my brain so the message goes unrecieved) so I don’t really have much of a wandering eye, unlike other folks with amblyopia. I can also only cross my good eye, I cannot wink with my good eye without moving my entire face (and I had to learn how to do this by pushing my cheek and forehead muscles together with my hands until I could do it on my own so I look very stupid) and my good eye also tends to have trouble when looking at blue light for too long since it gets all the strain.
-additionally, the only times my eye seems to look lazy is in the occasional picture. I call it my googly eye.
- re writing advice: I took a writing class in college where we spent a lot of time journaling about our own bodies and then writing stories with what we had learned… my wonderful teacher guessed that I was blind in my left eye because of how I described things. I never used left or right when talking about objects being around characters’ bodies, only front and back. She fucked me up with that one.
- I get a lot of bruises on my left arm because I struggle with depth perception when walking around corners/doors on that side
- they gave me glasses as a kid to try to fix it after patching didn’t work (leading to the discovery that I don’t have a traditional lazy eye) and the left side was the biggest and thickest fucking lens you’ve ever seen and the right side was just normal glass no rx. It made the glasses sit crooked on my face so I stopped wearing them.
- they test you for amblyopia during your drivers license test and I cheated both times I’ve had to go take it 🙃 they put a ball on one lens and a box on the other and they ask if the ball is inside or outside the box and I didn’t see no goddamn ball but the man next to me said it was inside so I did too.
- if I hadn’t cheated, I could still get a license, just with a special note on it, which i didn’t know both times I cheated.
- and yes, cannot agree more with being a safe ass driver. People get frustrated because I follow so far behind other cars and give people so much room all the time but I have a clean ass driving record.
- following that, I have a hard time sitting in the front seat when someone else is driving, especially if they are tailgaters because I feel like I am always about to crash. My husband, a notorious tailgater, says I have an invisible break I hit whenever he’s too close to someone.
- my parents made me go to a chiropractor as a kid to see if the reasoning for my blindness was a pinched nerve. It did not work.
- a redditor once told me he would end himself if he were ‘as cursed as’ me because the idea of being blind in one eye was so insanely distasteful to him. I tried explaining to him that it’s literally the only life I’ve ever known and he kept trying to tell me it was disgusting and unnatural and I lived a hideous life. I was like, dude. Go to therapy.
- if you are blind in one eye but still have an eyeball, you have one fun fact for Two Truths and a Lie always directly on hand and no one will ever guess that’s a truth.
- I am especially clumsy, and sometimes when I get up to do something and start knocking shit down, my husband plays the Godzilla theme song in his phone and it always makes me die laughing.
- when my parents found out, they demanded to know why I didn’t tell them, and I had to explain to them that it was literally all I’ve ever known, how did I know it was wrong? I thought everyone could only see one side of their nose.
Sorry this got long. I can’t sleep lol.
writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#this was fun and long#it really doesn’t affect me like people seem to think#apart from being a big fucking klutz#people are always like#HOW DO YOU LIVE#idk dude I really didn’t get offered anything else so
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Juno
Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader
Category: Social Media au
Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?
Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter
Masterlist
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others
yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭
Juno out tonight 8pm EST
view comments:
user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???
user2: Pop is back!
user3: you'll find me SCREAMING
user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?
- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!
- user6: y'all what if she means the movie
- user7: what movie?
- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old
taylorswift: They're not ready for it
- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??
- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!
- user10: easter egg??!!!
- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket
joeyb_9: nice dress
- user12: excuse me? sir?
- user13: I just know they're up to something
lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice
- user14: It's about him then???
- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it
user16: Joe can you fight??
- joeyb_9: yes I can
- user16: oop- I was not expecting that
- user17: he gagged you fr
user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her
- user19: the struggle is real
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others
yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw
view comments:
user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!
user2: girl calm down
user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG
user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...
- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!
user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!
user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N
- user7: we need to spay her frfr
user8: tf you mean freaky positions???
user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her
- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear
- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk
user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't
user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???
user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig
joeyb_9: I feel honored
- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!
- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning
- user17: Joe, are you well???
user18: I always knew they were freaky
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others
yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?
Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!
view comments:
user1: SHE'S INSANE!
user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!
user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????
user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?
user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet
joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year
- yourusername: I just might let you🤭
- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!
- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!
- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???
- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY
- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!
user9: That's enough screen time for you missy
user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY
- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle
user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??
- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one
- user14: both of them are blonde
- user13: @/youmissedthejoke
user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse
- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others
yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?
view comments:
user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app
joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?
- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇
- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW
- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!
- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES
- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!
- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE
- user2: is Ja'marr okay?
- user3: He's crashing out
- user4: bro is tweaking
user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭
- joeyb_9: She's busy
- user6: we need lock him up or something
- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?
- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???
- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!
- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY
user10: looked at myself and sighed
user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??
user12: we need to lobotomize her or something
lahjay10_:
liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others
lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.
view comments:
user1: #unblocky/n
user2: #unblocky/n
user3: #unblocky/n
user4: #unblocky/n
joeyb_9: #unblocky/n
- user5: help- not Joe joining us
- user6: y/n is this you?
- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe
- user7: I can't with this man😭
lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?
- user8: #unblocky/n
- user9: #unblocky/n
yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳
- user10: welcome back queen
- lahjay10_: hope you happy now
- yourusername: the happiest😁
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others
yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!
view comments:
user1: is she okay?
user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating
user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame
user4: on main is CRAZY
user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀
joeyb_9: That can be arranged
- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭
- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me
- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?
- jjettas2: pause.
user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this
user10: I can't with this girl💀
andreiiosivas: are you okay?
- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭
- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry
[This post has been deleted]
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others
yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵
view comments:
user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N
user2: where is crazy Y/N?
user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?
user4: I think her team took her social media away😭
- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too
- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts
- user7: me too girl😔
user8: I'll miss you diva💜
user9: #wewanty/n
- user10: #wewanty/n
- user11: #wewanty/n
- user12: #wewanty/n
user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account
user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment
- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts
- user16: he's silent protesting💀
lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!
- user17: Ja'Marr😭
- user18: Bro rejoicing💀
joeyb_9:
liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others
joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"
view comments:
user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!
user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂↕️
user3: mother is mothering!!!
lahjay10_: you down bad bro
- joeyb_9: and?
- user4: THAT'S A MAN!
- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on
jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?
- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called
- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>
user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏
user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight
user9: Joe is so lucky😔
- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫
- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl
- user 11: STOP😭
- user12: bro be reading all the comments
- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said
- user13: stop that's so cute🥹
One year later:
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others
yourusername: I let him make me Juno
view comments:
joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️
user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!
user2: mother is a real mother???
user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???
user4: CONGRATS!!!!
jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!
teehiggins: QB loading...
lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏
sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️
andraiiosivas: The best parents!
user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲
#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow fanfiction#joe burrow#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow social media au#nfl fanfiction#nfl imagine#nfl social media au#why4anne
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STRAY KIDS REACTION….
… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)
ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.
yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.
“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.
“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”
chan blinks. “rumor?”
“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.
“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”
“i don’t want to rest-“
“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”
“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.
you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.
ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.
you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.
even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.
“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.
“i’m not in the mood minho.”
oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.
he definitely didn’t regret it later.
ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.
“what’s-?”
“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”
the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“
“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”
“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”
“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.
in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.
ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…
“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”
he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…
“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.
“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.
you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”
and boy did he.
#kpop x male reader#x male reader#kpop x reader#kpop x top male reader#sub!idol#x male top reader#sub!kpop#kpop oneshots#stray kids x you#skz x gn reader#skz x male reader#skz x you#sub!stray kids#sub!skz#dom!reader#kpop reactions#stray kids headcanons#stray kids reactions#skz reactions#skz headcanons#kpop drabbles
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okay you know the american express skate shop commercial?
eddie who co-ownes a skate shop despite having only been on skateboard twice in his life (he broke his arm the second time) but gareth loves skating more than drums, and the band never went anywhere but his skate career DID, so eddie somehow wound up taking care of gareth's shop while he travels the world breaking his bones. eddie's clientele is a pretty narrow group, until fucking steve harrington himself (his hs school crush) comes into the shop asking for a board for his daughter.
months of awkward flirting later, eddie finds out max is a big fan of gareth and that night eddie is curled around gareth's ankles chanting "please please please please please please please" and gareth throws up his hands and agrees to meet them.
that weekend eddie happily gets to hang off steve's shoulder while gareth and max are tearing up a half pipe. max is happy, so steve is happy, and gareth is impressed with max's talent and keeps getting more and more into coaching her through a few little tricks, and eddie may never get into steve's pants, but anything is worth seeing steve smile, so happy and excited for his kid and—oh fuck, eddie's in love fucking shitting fuck
meanwhile, steve spends each morning lamenting to robin as they get their bakery ready for the day how he'll die alone because eddie won't ask him out and robin keeps yelling at him, all exasperated "why don't YOU ask him out then??" and steve pouts because that's no fun
anyways one day eddie wanders into the shop not even realizing that steve works there (luckily he's doing a delivery atm), and robin sees eddie from all the way in the back and beelines it out so eddie just randomly gets accosted by the bread lesbian hissing "i need you to dick down and marry steve already or i WILL kill him, i'll drown him in the sourdough."
eddie walks back out thinking robin's some kind of prophet or psychic, he has no idea that she actually knows steve.
but who is he to argue with a fate-sayer? and he fulfills part of the prophecy that very night.
#stranger things#steddie#when he finally does meet robin he points in her face and yells LESBIAN BREAD PROPHET#she declares him public enemy number one from then on#max does skate tricks all the way down the aisle at their wedding#skate coach gareth from the best man position is crying real tears of real pride#this has absolutely been done before but#i was watchin a documentary about bread (????) and saw the commercial and the demons started whispering in my ear
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People who constantly shit on red areas need to spend some time in them to gain some fucking perspective.
I guarantee you that if you know someone from the U.S., you know someone who has grown up in or lived in a red area.
I, a queer, neurodivergent leftist, have spent my entire life living in red towns and/or red states. Every person I’ve ever loved, every memory I’ve ever made, every community I’ve ever felt welcomed in has been in a red area. And I don’t want to leave these places, even with the way they vote, because I love where I live and where I grew up. It’s just as much a part of me as my queer identity.
The six trans kids I was friends with in high school lived in a red county. The people who organized the protests I’ve attended did so in red states. My grandparents, who vote blue all the way down the ballot in every election and try their damndest to correctly gender my friends, live in a deep red area and have for the past 40 years.
And I’m sorry, but people who vote red are still worthy of fucking compassion? The VAST majority of people aren’t the hateful stereotype you have in your head. They’re people who don’t keep up with politics too much, but grew up in areas where everyone just voted republican. Some of them have been duped by the charismatic grifters on the right into believing that the left hates them. They may understand that the right hates people like you, but they don’t get how that actually affects things on a day-to-day. They’re not fucking evil for not knowing any better.
The South, Appalachia, the Midwest: they’re all gorgeous places that are filled to the brim with wonderful, loving people. They’re rich with culture and community and history and won’t hesitate to share it. They’re filled with people who would take you in with open arms if you were ever around and in need.
Some of them may not get you or respect you at first, but honestly? Can you seriously claim to understand and respect them? How is them being indifferent to what happens to you for something you can’t control any different from you not giving a shit about them because they happen to live somewhere you don’t like? I get that there’s a difference in institutional power and generational trauma, but being uncaring of entire populations being oppressed is wrong no matter who you’re talking about.
All in all, I hate Republicans as much as anybody else, but to pretend that wishing harm on entire communities is anything but reactionary bullshit is ridiculous. Hate a specific person all you want (there are definitely some monsters out there), but realize that these communities aren’t a monolith.
so telling to me how some of you would rather completely write off appalachian and southern states than extend compassion and solidarity to the poc and queer people who live here and lead lives just as valuable as anyone’s in a blue state. living under a nearly constant suppressive government is an uphill battle that i and those i am in solidarity with choose to fight every day and the results of the an election we showed up for despite the overwhelming odds do not mean we as a whole deserve to be discarded
#m contributes#politics#us politics#sorry to get on my soapbox but yeah this shit pisses me off#if anyone who follows me has ever said ‘they deserve it for voting that way’ about an entire state or county#just know that you either need to reexamine your biases or unfollow me right the fuck now#because everyone I love is part of that group that ‘deserves it’ and I won’t stand for that bullshit#this isn’t very coherent because it’s 3:30am so sorry if things come off weird#I just despise the vitriol people give the places and people I love so much#enjoy my late night rant I guess
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ltye: in your hands
authors note: welp. here i am, once again. we're back with yet another 'what if' scenario, prompted by you lovely people in an ask that i can't seem to find to link right now. smh.
words: 3.3k
warnings: none. just sam being sam.
song inspo: in your hands by halle
Roman should have stuck with his first mind. Stayed home. Texted her some excuse about being caught up with work. She would have never found out the truth, and even if she did, he wouldn’t have given two fucks.
Because this shit doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
This dating thing.
It’s gotta be at least the fifth or sixth one he’s taken her on, and each one has been just as miserable up until the point where he gets her on her knees, gagging or bouncing on his dick the minute they get back to his penthouse. Anything before that has been irksome, borderline miserable.
Samantha is stunning. Has been since they were kids, and her body is the most desirable of the women he has on his roster. She leans on the thinner side of what he prefers, but the tits and ass are decent, regardless. She’s also just as kinky as him, which is why they’ve worked all these years.
But, the more “dates” Roman forces himself to power through, the more he’s starting to feel like bedroom activities is where it stops for them.
Technically, he’s always known this. Even if he did have some level of desire to be in a real relationship with someone, which he doesn't, it would never be her. She’s vain, condescending, and seems to think she’s somehow better than the other women he fucks with.
If only she realized he views her just like he views the rest of the women. A warm body with a wet cunt to help him get his dick wet.
“Roman!” Her voice cuts through his inner dialogue as he focuses on her cleavage. The dress she wore, short and tight, doesn’t help his desire to skip to the fucking part of this evening. “Did you hear what I said?”
“No.” Roman sees no sense in lying to her. “I probably don’t care either.”
She rolls her eyes and proceeds to continue like he literally didn’t just tell her he doesn’t care. “I was saying we should go somewhere.”
He’s partially intrigued now. Mostly because he’ll probably need to set her ass straight. “Where?”
She smiles and shrugs. “I don’t know. I was thinking Bora Bora.”
He shakes his head. “So go.”
She frowns, clarifying. “I said we should go, Roman.”
He scoffs, looking off at the ice sculpture in the middle of the upscale restaurant. A waste of money, in his opinion. “What the hell makes you think I have time to go to fucking Bora Bora with you?” He really wants to ask her what makes her think he would want to in the first place, but he’s trying to be somewhat less of an asshole to see if maybe this could work.
His Wise Man’s nervous voice balanced out with sage wisdom returning to the front of his mind.
“If the Elders are to force you into a marriage, why not with someone you already know? Especially someone who you know would have no issue in giving you an heir.”
If only Samantha wasn’t so fucking annoying.
She leans back in the chair. “You make time for these dates.”
Out of obligation. But, he won’t say that. “Yeah, but I can get my nut and send your ass packing in the same night. Can't do that if we're out of the fucking country.”
“You’re suck a di—”
“I’m so sorry.”
Soft. It’s the first thing that comes to mind hearing her voice. Light, almost. Kind. Even with just three words being spoken. And that’s just based off audio. Visually, Roman’s thoughts take an entirely different direction.
Stunning.
Roman’s seen, entertained, and done a lot more with some beautiful women in his time, but the one standing at their table seems to have something more than all of them put together. She’s beautiful, easily one of the most gorgeous women he’s ever laid eyes on. And her smile, small but genuine makes him pause. As does her body.
She’s wearing the same uniform he’s noticed on the other waitresses, but none of them fill them out like she does. The white, long sleeved shirt that’s tucked into the knee length black pencil skirt can’t hide the curves he can practically see through the bland outfit. Nice, heavy breast. Curvy hips, thick thighs and an ass he can partially see from the front.
This. This is his preferred body type. A woman who has something he can grab onto when he’s fucking her from behind. And Roman can only imagine what it would be like to be holding onto those luscious hips of hers while he—
“Oh my god, are you stupid?” Samantha’s annoying voice once again pulls him from his carnal fantasies. She gestures between herself and him. “Can you not see we’re in the middle of something?”
The girl, who Roman would guess is in her late twenties, early thirties at most, immediately looks repentant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—I was just going to apologize for your wa—”
“Whatever.” Samantha lifts her hand, silencing the girl who’s now looking down at her shoes, clearly embarrassed. “What’s the special for this evening?”
“What’s your name?” Roman’s question comes out at the same time as Samantha’s inquiry. However, his voice clearly presents with more of a commanding nature.
She swallows. “S–Solana.”
Pretty. Just like her.
Samantha notices the way Roman is looking at her and is fully confused as to why he’s asking this fat troll for her name. She cuts in again, in that same nasty tone. “Hello? I asked you a question.”
Solana is clearly struggling with Samantha’s aggressiveness, Roman wondering why this bitch is directing whatever unresolved feelings she has onto this innocent girl. “Umm, I think—”
Samantha scoffs, nose turned up. “You’re our waitress, and you don’t even know what the evening special is?”
“No ma’am, I do. I’m sorry. It’s just—it’s been a long day.” There’s a weight to her words, a sadness in her voice and in her pretty brown eyes. Roman notices all of these things and finds himself wondering what the story is. Everyone has one, and hers is suddenly of interest to him. For reasons he cannot understand.
“Pretty unprofessional to bring up your personal life, don’t you think?”
Solana closes her eyes, pausing before answering. She looks exhausted. Mentally and physically. “It’s Squab. That’s the main co—”
“I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.” Roman rolls his eyes. This hoe has been saying that since they were in high school, yet every so often she goes back to having a normal fucking diet only to switch back to that salad shit. “What’s on your—”
“I’ll do us both a favor and get her to shut the fuck up.” Roman has had enough, both of Samantha’s grating voice but mostly her being a bitch to this girl for no reason. He’s a dick on the regular. He knows this. But, never has he come across someone like this Solana woman who, with just her presence alone, exudes such softness. Like, she doesn’t have a mean bone in her fine ass body. And she clearly doesn’t because anyone else would have probably lost their job by cussing Samantha out. Not that it wouldn’t be deserved.
Roman catches the faintest hint of a smile on Solana’s face as she redirects her attention to him. “Give her the salmon. I’ll take your best steak. For wine, you carry Madeira?”
She’s pulled out her notepad and finishes taking down the order before answering with a nod. “Yes, sir.”
Roman’s jaw clenches at that sir bit. He could ruin this girl. “What do you recommend?”
She’s visibly taken back by his question, probably by the fact that he’s asking her for her opinion. “Umm—”
“Roman, I can rec—”
“I didn’t ask you,” he cuts that bitch off with the quickness, eyes never leaving the pretty girl before him. “I asked Solana.”
Her smiles widens as she answers in a more confident tone. “Julio Barros…..1950.”
Roman smirks.
Exactly what he was going to order.
“I’ll take it.”
Their gazes linger on each other a second too long for Samantha’s liking as she cuts in once once more. “You can go now.”
Solana’s smile drops again, Roman suddenly finding himself all annoyed. Her smile is something pretty that he wouldn’t mind seeing more of, though that irritation is waned as he’s granted the view of her nice, round ass and curvy hips swaying as she walks to the back to turn in their order.
Samantha reaches over and touches his hand, Roman snatching it back and sneering at her. “What?”
She sighs. “Baby, I’m trying to talk about us.”
And just like that, he’s annoyed all over again. “There is no us.”
Samantha looks sad only for a brief second. “Roman, I’m not stupid. I know what these dates have been for. You’re trying to see if it could work.”
“If what could work?”
“Us.” She goes on to share. “There’s rumors that the Elders have been putting more pressure on you to settle down and make an heir.” Sam leans over the table, intentionally trying to emphasize her cleavage. It’s nice. He’ll give her that. But, he’s certain it’s nothing compared to Solana though and those big breast of her hers. “I can do that for you. Be that for you. Be your wife. The mother of your children.”
Not a damn thing she’s saying sounds even the least bit desirable. At all.
“I mean, we’ve been fucking around since we were kids. Why not make it official?”
For a lot of reasons. All the reasons. The main one being Roman don’t like this bitch unless she’s choking on or riding his dick.
What he does like, however, and finds solace in is the interactions with Ms. Solana as the evening goes on. They’re not very often outside of her bringing the bottle of wine and their food when it’s ready as well as a check-in here or there on how they’re doing.
Each time Samantha sending her the dirtiest look or just being an ol’e nasty bitch, to which Roman shuts down, cutting her off and even telling her to shut the fuck up.
The girl is just trying to do her damn job. And as his eyes locate and land on her on several different occasions, he can see that she works hard. Moving from table to table, almost saddened facial expression indicates she’s on the receiving end of more verbal lashings from people like Samantha.
That actually pisses him off, Roman having to control and stop himself from doing some out of pocket shit.
Again, for what reason, he hasn’t the slightest clue. He just knows those brief glimpses of her actually smiling, usually when she’s chatting with a coworker, do something for him.
Maybe even to him.
And unbeknownst to him, the intrigue goes both ways, because as shitty a day Solana Miller was having, the handsome stranger with the rude girlfriend or wife or whatever has somehow, someway made this day just a little bit better.
It’s been some time, if ever, Solana has come across someone with such a presence about them. Him dining at this uppity restaurant she was able to score a job at tells her that he’s wealthy. His disposition and the fact that he somehow secured it to where the surrounding tables of where he sits have been marked as unavailable tells her that he has pull. But, the way he interacts with her, a literal nobody, she’s not sure what that means.
Especially with the beautiful woman he’s with, because while Solana thinks she’s every bit a bitch as most of the women who come into this place, she’s a stunning bitch.
Which is why Solana can’t allow herself to believe that that equally beautiful looking man is looking at her in any sort of capacity.
There’s no way in he—
“Solana.”
And just like that, she's frowning again. “Mami?”
The last thing she expected to see this evening was the sight of her mother, already dressed in her scrubs, baby in her arms.
Solana’s baby.
Her 11-month–old daughter, Soraya.
The shock wears off as Nina gets closer, Solana shaking her head, “what are you—”
Nina shakes her head, face apologetic and tone contrite. “I’m so sorry, baby, but I got called into work. I can’t watch Raya.”
Shit
It's inconvenient, but Solana understands it. She remembers the countless times Nina had no other option but to leave her with a neighbor after being called into work at all kinds of hours. She’s always worked so hard to take care of the two of them when Solana was growing up.
“It’s okay, mama.” Solana easily reaches for her daughter, a wave of relief and happiness washing over her as she holds and kisses her baby. The source of all her joy. All of the struggle, every bit of it, is worth it as long as she has her daughter. She’d do anything for her. “How was she?”
Nina gives a small chuckle. “She’s like you were and still are. An easy child.” Solana kisses Soraya’s temple. “Sol…..” And just like that, Solana already knows she’s probably not going to like what she’s about to hear. “I know you’ve said you don’t want to go after him for child support, but it’s not fair for you to be out here working two jobs while putting yourself through school to take care of his child.”
Solana holds Soraya just a smidge tighter. “She’s my baby, mami.”
Nina counters. “She’s his biological child.” Solana looks away, hopeful her manager, Aldis, doesn’t come out and scold her for this little interaction. She’s scheduled to clock out in another half hour anyway. “He should be paying you child support.”
Her mom is right. Solana knows this, knows that it’s not fair for her to have to be the sole provider for her baby girl, while Cruz lives his best life as an absentee, deadbeat dad. And she’s considered on several occasions going to the courthouse to see what she needs to do to get that ball rolling.
But, every time, she’s haunted by something he said the last time they spoke, not even a month after her daughter was born.
“Don’t you get it? We were fine before she came in the picture! We could be fine again if she wasn’t.”
Solana’s never been more disturbed than she was to hear those words leave his mouth. That’s why she’s glad he’s gone, that he wants nothing to do with her or his child. Because she would never trust to leave her baby girl with him in the first place.
And if that means she does it without him contributing financially, that’s exactly what she’ll do.
Solana shifts Soraya from one hip to the other. “I don’t need him, mami.” And she doesn’t. Because if Solana had to resort to sex work to take care of herself and her daughter, it’s exactly what she’d do.
Nina gives a heavy sigh. “Mija, you know I help you when I can.”
“I know.” Because she does. But, the same way that times are hard for her. They’re hard for her mom, too. Everyone’s struggling these days, it seems. Everyone except the rich people who wine and dine without a care in the world around them. “I’ll be okay.”
Always will be.
Nina gives a knowing nod, hugging her daughter and gently taking her granddaughter’s hand, kissing it, speaking in Spanish. “I’ll see you later, okay? Abuela loves you.”
Solana smiles. “Thanks, mama.”
“Always, baby.”
Nina reaches Solana the diaper bag, Solana placing it on the bar stool, knowing it’s bound to be left alone. These rich ass people would never bother with the Ross purchase. With a final parting smile, Nina is off to the hospital, leaving Solana with her daughter who’s just now waking up.
“Hi, baby girl,” Solana giggles at the almost cranky expression on her baby’s face. Raya is definitely not the happiest camper when being woken up.
A glance at the time reminds Solana that she technically is still on the clock and really shouldn’t have her child with her. But, with no other option, she accepts she’ll just have to clock out early and take whatever those consequences are.
But before that, the least she can do is grab the bill from the table where the handsome stranger and his girlfriend sat. She’s briefly disappointed to see the table empty, even if she remembers his deep voice thanking her for her assistance this evening as she brought them that same check earlier.
It’s a silly thing, really. And she tries to push away the disappointment at not properly telling him goodbye. A stranger.
Silly.
Soraya grasps at the collar of her shirt while Solana walks over to the table, pausing as she gets close enough to see that there’s more than just a bill with a signature. There’s cash. A stack of it. Money in hand, she’s confused, because this man paid with a black card, so what—
“Good.”
Solana gaps and spins around, her eyes widening as she looks up. He’s a lot taller than she realized, burly body nearly eclipsing her view of anything else, silky black hair in such a neat, perfect bun. “Wanted to make sure you got it.”
Brows furrowed, it’s hard for her to speak for a lot of reasons. One of which is the fact that this man cannot be real. A man cannot be this handsome. But, he is real, and he’s looking at her.
And Soraya.
“I—” She shakes her head, clearing her throat. “Is this—you already paid—”
“That’s not for the bill,” his voice is so velvety, smooth, and deep. “It’s your tip.”
Eyes widening, her gaze snaps to the wad of cash as Soraya continues to grasp and squeeze her shirt. She doesn’t even need to count to know that this is a nice amount of money.
Too much.
“I can’t—it’s too much.”
He chuckles, “do I look like I can’t afford it?” Her eyes roam over his big, muscular build dressed in fine, expensive looking clothes. He just oozes wealth.
And power.
“N–no.”
“Dealing with Samantha, trust me, you earned it.” Solana looks down, wanting to hide her small smile. His gaze redirects to the child in her arm. “Who is this?”
And just like that, Solana’s proud smile returns. “My daughter, Soraya.” It’s like Soraya knows she’s being discussed, lifting her little head to look at Roman. A big grin on her face before she buries her face into Solana’s neck.
Roman makes a sound, and she can almost swear she sees the smallest smile on his handsome face. “She looks like you.”
That creates such a warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach, “thank you…..”
He looks at her a bit confused, like her unspoken question surprises him, before answering. “Roman.” Roman. “Roman Reigns.”
Roman Reigns. Even his name is powerful.
It fits him.
Solana shifts Soraya around as she starts to get wiggly in her arms. “Well, thank you, Mr. Reigns.” She’s certain the shock of just how much money this random, rich stranger has given her hasn’t truly set in. Because if it had, she’d have a much more visceral response.
A lot more.
“Roman,” he corrects. “Call me Roman.”
“Roman….”
Something indecipherable flashes in his eyes, something that makes her feel a bit unnerved under his intense stare. It’s broken, however, by her now irritated daughter.
“Mama.” Soraya makes her dissatisfaction at being still for too long known by punching her tiny fist against Solana’s chest. “Mama!”
“Shhhhh,” Solana kisses her temple, trying to quiet her down before someone makes Aldis aware of her presence. She looks at Roman, eyes softening, “thank you again.”
Truly. Honestly. He hasn’t the slightest clue how much this will help her. It’s why she can stand here without anxiety and concern about making it to the bus stop on time. Tonight.....tonight she’ll treat herself and her baby with calling an Uber instead.
Might even stop and pick up dinner.
Roman nods, eyes briefly glancing at her daughter again, the smallest smile on his face. “I’ll see you later, Solana.” His head dips a bit in acknowledgment towards her baby. “Soraya.”
The smile is plastered on her face even as he walks off without another word. And it’s only a good two minutes later that she catches onto what he said. A certain word in particular standing out the most.
What did he mean by later?
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Remembering my Afghani American best friend from my islamic elementary and middle school whose dad would get drunk every night and beat the shit out of her mother. She begged and begged for sleepovers because strangers in the house would make him leave, and I never told my parents about the situation (I lied and said she had no father or brothers) because I loved spending time at her house and staying up the whole night doing all the things we weren’t allowed to do that was “haram”… watching rated r movies, playing horror computer games, dancing to music videos on YouTube, cat walking in heels and makeup, scaring ourselves with creepypastas.
I remember we had a million stupid ass discussions about who the purple guy from five nights at Freddies was, or what a slenderman proxy meant, or if there were illuminati signs in Katy Perry music videos, or if emo drawings of Jeff the killer were hot. We’d whisper fight if Beyoncé or Lana del Rey was a better singer, or if teen wolf or maze runner had cuter boys. She was team Beyoncé and teen wolf.
We had to constantly be separated in school for talking, and we hated the creepy janitor and would throw wads of wet paper towel on the bathroom ceiling for him to clean up later. We got into so much trouble together, and would always smirk at each other in detention when we got yelled at. We’d shoplift lipsticks from the mall, and throw away expensive Quran transliterations from school, and sneak into the teachers break room and steal handfuls of ice and throw them on the imam/principal’s desk when he was gone to ruin his paperwork.
I moved away like I always had to do with my constantly migrating family and we lost touch. The last time I saw her in person was when we were still kids at her brothers wedding. I was laughing while I tried to ask her why the bride kept changing into different brightly colored dresses throughout the night. She wasn’t listening, and she burst into tears and cried about how her brother was just like her father and did every horrible thing he did. I held her and squeezed her so tight I thought her bones would break.
I recently tried to reconnect with her again but she’s already married, pregnant, and has abandoned social media and texting because it’s “haram.” Trying to talk to her was like speaking to a stranger… she had no interest in any of the things we would spend hours playing with before. “Islam is important to me now, I’m a new woman. We were messed up kids, it’s time to grow up.” She told me to never contact her again and hung up the phone.
Sometimes I feel like I failed her, and sometimes I understand that I was a girl trying to survive too.
One day I’ll save money to travel back there and talk to her in person. I’ll snap her out of it. We’ll spend all night up together again doing every terrible thing our teachers and parents and religious leaders warned us against, and laughing the whole way through it. We’ll get kicked out of bars and get into trouble and snicker our way through it all, knowing we’ve already won. I still have her dirty, worn, my littlest pet shop horse she gave me when we first met. I hold it in my hands when I see news of the what’s happening to the women of Afghanistan, and I feel like I’ve failed her again. That I’ll forever be stuck an immature child and her a miserable adult, both of us doomed, unable to be saved from our fates in the end.
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art & patrick at mark rebellato academy
[headcanons]
notes: i really enjoyed writing this because i just genuinely adore these characters and this movie so much. there's so many interesting little details and nuances there that i could just talk about forever and ever. i truly hope i did them justice here lol (also writing this made me jealous of people that are good at writing character analysis' and thinkpieces bc wow it is hard!) but yeah enjoy!
wordcount: 3.4k
they met at age 12 during their first day at the mark rebellato academy in their now shared room.
when art came in with a duffel bag (that looked comically big next to his scrawny kid body) patrick was already sitting on the bed he had claimed(the right side next to the door) all by himself, his parents didn't have a very tearful nor long goodbye as they sent their son off to boarding school.
in contrast art’s mom and grandma seemed keen to embarrass him in front of his new roommate with their cooing and hugging him goodbye.
it wasn't even like his mom and him were really all that close though. she just seemed to want to squeeze in all the moments of a loving mother-son relationship into the small segments of time she actually spent with him.
the goodbye hug and small ruffle of his hair from his grandma felt a little more genuine. embarrassing all the same as he could feel the other dark haired boy try not to crack up at the display.
"mom. please." he pleaded with her as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "i’m sorry, artie, but i need to make up for all the time i'm gonna miss with you!" yeah, he bets.
a few minutes later and a tear or two from his mother they did finally leave him be. as soon as he heard the door shut though, the awkward silence enveloping the room almost made him miss them.
he threw his duffel bag on the left bed and sat down on the edge. he fidgeted with his bottom lip, a nervous habit he's had for as long as he could remember.
the brunette boy shifted on the bed so he was now facing him. his mouth pulled into a toothy grin "so you're...artie?"
art groaned and hid his head in his hands, slumped over his knees. "no, that's..just my moms nickname for me. sorry you had to see that." he says in a squeaky broken voice which didn't help the embarrassment he was already feeling.
the other boy just brushed right past all that and said "i’m patrick." and then as an afterthought, "zweig."
"uh." art leaned back up, still avoiding his gaze. it was weirdly intense. "yeah, i’m..art. um, donaldson." he said the last part like it was a question almost.
patrick began to swing his legs a little. it was clear to him that art was the quiet type even if they had just exchanged a few words so far, but luckily patrick didn't mind talking. it was something his father always hated about him. he almost talked enough for both of them which after a little while finally seemed to break the ice of art's shy exterior.
art didnt know what he thought about patrick yet. he was pretty..confident that was for sure. even a little arrogant, maybe. art scolded himself internally for being so judgemental. it was quality he hated about himself, but seemingly couldn’t get rid of.
despite all of that he had to admit that patrick was easy to talk to. there was never an uncomfortable gap in conversation with him. which art liked since those kinds of things made him want to crawl out of his skin sometimes.
that first night he spent staying up with patrick, slowly realizing how much they had in common while simultaneously being complete opposites, is one of his fondest memories and probably always will be. he never experienced another connection that felt anything even close to that.
their room wasn't too small but with the way patrick would just constantly toss his clothes wherever he pleased it seemed a lot smaller.
it's not like art was insanely neat or anything, he was still a teenage boy. patrick was just exceptionally messy.
"patrick, this shit is so gross, i told you to use the hamper."
patrick groaned, "youre such a neatfreak, fuck off."
at that response a pair of dirty boxers were thrown at his head, courtesy of art. "i don't want to see or smell your worn underwear. that doesn't make me a neatfreak."
patrick just tossed it back in art’s direction, to which the blonde quickly scurried out of the way to dodge it like his life depended on it.
"you know if tennis doesn't work out for you, you'll make a good housewife." patrick grinned mockingly.
“ha-ha.” art just rolled his eyes, stuck up his middle finger and let the door slam behind him with his racket bag slung over his shoulder.
trying to get patrick to do anything was like trying to teach a cat to do a trick without any treats. borderline impossible. so by age 15 art finally gave up.
...until he realized a year later that patrick would clean his side of the room whenever they had a girl over so..
yeah, sometimes he did lie and tell patrick that a girl was coming over just so he would clean his side of the room.
you can judge him all you want but you never had to room with patrick zweig
and after the third time that trick stopped working anyway. art was never a good liar. or maybe patrick could just call his bullshit way too easily.
they didn't fight too often, it was more like they constantly got into little tiffs
except for that time where it got so out of hand that they duct-taped a line dividing their rooms into two sides. (i know this is giving sitcom i'm sorry but tell me i'm wrong)
eventually they kind of forgot what they even fought about in the first place but they were too lazy to take the tape off of the carpet, so it just stayed on there for like 2 years till it peeled off.
like i mentioned in my other post these two were BITCHES
they would def talk shit all the time. they were not even trying to be secret about it tbh. (see: them staring at anna crying at tashi's party)
they sat in the bleachers watching one of their classmates play a practice match
“dude, look at that forehand. it sucks.” art muttered. patrick nodded, “i know. no way she’ll even make it through the semester.” “i’ll be surprised if she makes it through this match without fracturing her wrist.” patrick snickered at art’s comment.
actual mean girls LMAO
and to be fair, they were fucking amazing at tennis, especially when they played together
so it's not like anyone could necessarily insult them back
but it also wasn't bullying or anything
they were just judgy and loved to talk shit
art had some decorum about it or felt bad about it sometimes. not patrick though.
man has no shame. never did. as art so lovingly puts it “the part of his brain that feels shame withered away a long time ago.”
art wore glasses from ages 12 till 14
he then switched to contact lenses because patrick said girls dont like guys with glasses and that they make him look nerdy
they weren't allowed to have any sort of electronics like computers or flip phones at the academy. not even mp3 players.
now obviously patrick completely ignored that rule. he had like three flip phones under his bed in case his actual one ever got taken (it did)
he also smuggled in 2 mp3 players (one was for art, patrick is so kind… he did charge him 4 dollars for it though. that rich asshole. lmao)
honestly i would like to insert here what i think they would have listened to but..i was like..a baby when they wouldve been at the academy so..feel free to drop your music headcanons in the reblogs or comments
they were only allowed one weekly call to their families from the communal landline.
neither patrick nor art were very fond of these calls so even though they weren't supposed to they would always go into the phone room together.
patricks mother always insisted on speaking in german with her son. he thought she only did it because it made her feel more connected to his father’s side of the family. not like it would fix their fucked up marriage though.
“nein, mama, ich habe mein deutsch nicht vergessen.” (no, mom, i havent forgotten my german) he sighs. art sits on the floor next to him and flicks a rubber band at him. “ja, verstanden. ja, ich weiß.” (yes, understood. yes, i know.) he rolls his eyes.
art understood a few of the basic words since patrick taught him some german after art asked how to correctly pronounce his last name.
“..bis nächste woche. tschüss.” (talk to you next week. bye.) he hung up. his mom said i love you but he knew she didn't mean it so he didn't say it back.
patrick groaned and stretched out his legs that were seemingly getting longer by the day (art secretly prayed for a growth spurt that would make him taller than patrick. right now he was still pretty short for a guy his age.)
he handed the phone to art. “she always talks so much. it's like i'm not even on the other line.” patrick scowls. art just nodded. he knew that by now.
art called his grandma but his dad picked up instead. it was okay. talking to his dad felt a little like talking to some distant uncle that he only saw once a year, “how's it going, champ?” “good.” “great.” that kinda stuff
the phone call lasted 5 minutes. he stood up and hung the phone back on the receiver.
“wanna smoke?” patrick asked already reaching for the two loose cigarettes stuffed into his jean shorts pocket.
art nodded. he didn't really like smoking, and he kind of only did it because patrick did. and whenever he did, all he could think about was how bad for him it was.
he was always pretty conscious about that kinda stuff, it was a little drilled into him by his dad who was the most adamant about art becoming a tennis player since he used to be one when he was younger.
so sugar and fats (basically anything that tasted good) were pretty much banned in the donaldson household
which kind of resulted in art subconsciously believing that anything that brought him joy or pleasure must be inherently bad for him or followed by a feeling of guilt and shame to make up for it.
needless to say art wasn't the best at indulging. he was a little jealous of how patrick never seemed to have any issue with that sort of thing.
patrick didn't care about maintaining a good diet or depriving himself of life's pleasures for the sake of tennis. he took what he wanted like life owed it to him.
maybe that's why he smoked with patrick. to try and be more like him?
also because it gave him a nice sense of rebellion.
most things he did with patrick gave him that feeling.
at the academy they were the definition of ‘not sold separately’
if you saw one the other wasn't far behind
its not like they didn't have other friends. they did. they were pretty popular actually
but none of those friendships were anything like what art and patrick had.
especially when playing doubles.
it felt like they could communicate telepathically
patrick knew when art was going for the ball before the other team even served and vice versa.
tennis felt different when they were playing together. better.
and it felt so easy, it felt like nothing they needed to work on. their friendship was the same. it was so easy, so natural.
after about a year or so of being friends they started being in sync. literally.
they cross their legs at the same time, they pick up their rackets at the same time, they adjust their forehand grip at the same time, they walk at the same pace, they sit down the same etc etc you get it
also that isn't really a headcanon, like this is canon in the movie. and it makes me SICK that they were still in sync in 2019. after not talking for 12 years. shut up that’s some soulmate shit
now let's talk about something else that is canon…the pushed together beds.
yes!
now, i think patrick is a person that is pretty open with his body in general in terms of like being physically affectionate. or just being physical.
i don't know if art is, i think he's a little more reserved. (repressed if you will! i will!)
but patrick touching him so casually does fill a little tiny (gaping) void in him that yearns for touch.
he is a professional yearner as we all know
and patrick never had an issue satisfying those yearnings for him. (i think we saw that in the fact that patrick taught art how to jerk off ok next topic)
patrick would sling his arm around his shoulder, lay his long legs over arts lap, ruffle arts curls (“stop that, you're messing them up.” “no, i'm not they always look like this”),he would barge into their room after practice flopping his tall sweaty body on top of art to annoy him.
they were very physically affectionate it was just all under the guise of shoving and tripping each other and just general teenage boy roughhousing shenanigans. that counts as a love language to me ok!
art got used to patrick touching him very quick and even reciprocated sometimes
also i do think that sometimes patrick would smack art’s ass as a joke. lol. (that's inspired by that video of the two doubles players doing that…do you guys know what i’m talking about)
OK SO!
the beds.
they were 16. patrick suggested it. “these beds are too fucking small.” he complained, laying on his staring at the smoke detector that he had covered with a shower cap so it wouldnt detect the smoke from his cigarettes.
and to be fair…yeah. patrick stood at 1,80 cm right now and his feet were hanging over the edge of the bed.
art looked up from his book which he was only reading to impress a girl he had a crush on. patrick had told him to just pretend he read it but art said that was disingenuous and he wanted to know what she liked and why she liked it.
“you know what we should do? we should push our beds together.” patrick sat up, grinning like he just had the best idea ever.
arts features twisted up in thought. “isn't that a little close?”
“nah, why, we still have our own beds. just more space.” patrick shrugged.
he glanced at their beds. “uhhh…i guess we can do that. the beds are a little cramped. although is that even allowed?” art began fidgeting with his lip like he usually did when he was in thought.
but patrick was already in the process of shoving his bed next to arts after which he let himself fall onto the two beds in a starfish position, with his gangly limbs almost stretching to every corner of the beds. “oh. great. and i’ll just curl up at the foot of the bed then?” art gave patrick a deadpan stare.
“up to you.” patrick grinned in that specific way that really irked art.
patrick did make some space for him once they actually went to sleep that night
even now they were two opposites making a whole
patrick always ran cold so he hogged all the blankets and art always ran hot so he immediately kicked them off of him as soon as he fell asleep
that only made this new pushed together beds thing even better for patrick because he now got to have his own blanket AND steal arts every night
i wouldn't say they cuddled necessarily? i think it was more just like the regular amount of physical touching that happens when you sleep in the same bed
which is still pretty intimate to me idk about you guys
like their legs kind of thrown over each others, art’s arm occasionally draped over patricks chest (or literally on his face. art denies every time that he does it on purpose but patrick KNOWS he does it to annoy him. he knows.)
one time art had a nightmare of being trapped under a rock only to wake up and find out that somehow patrick had rolled over in the middle of the night and was now laying COMPLETELY on top of art. right before he was about to push him off (because he was making art actively suffocate) patrick rolled over again and fell out of bed. he didn't even wake up from that. genuinely just slept on the floor that night. freak of nature that guy.
also patrick for sure twitches like a dog in his sleep
and i think it used to wake art up because he's a pretty light sleeper but eventually he just got used to it lol
when art went to stanford he never finished the last bite of anything he ate because he was so used to patrick being next to him and just stealing the last bite.
patrick really really wanted to get his ears pierced when he was 15.
so naturally he asked art to do it for him.
you know…like how they did it in the parent trap. which if you asked them is a movie that they definitely haven't seen. ( but they did see it and art cried at the twins reuniting with their parents, oops.)
unfortunately for patrick art was very very squeamish with needles at that age (i think that mellowed down the older he got but he still refused to look whenever he got vaccinations or anything like that.)
so now it was midnight, they were in their room sitting on the floor and arguing
“dude, just do it, stop being such a wuss. you're not even the one getting pierced.” patrick groaned, he had numbed his earlobe with ice but he could already feel a little bit of the feeling return to it, that's how long they had been sitting there with art squirming around because he hated even looking at the sewing needle.
“that's worse though because i have to look at the needle going in your ear!” art argued
“ well, i can't do it myself.” patrick replied.
...
“are you wearing my shirt?” art squinted at him
“stop trying to change the subject.”
“i told you to stop stealing my clothes. i don't want to do laundry that often.”
“can you focus?” patrick groaned
“dude.. okay, fine. just give me a second.” art took a deep breath.
“oh. my god. you're not performing open heart surgery.”
“shut the fuck up.”
“you shut the fuck up.”
and what do you know that response got art to get over his fear of needles for a second and stab that thing right through his best friends ear
the little high pitched yelp patrick let out in surprise at that is something art didn't let him forget about for like two weeks after
it took about another hour for art to pierce patricks second ear and eventually they managed but then like a week later patrick forgot to put his earrings in and the piercings immediately grew shut
so all that drama was for nothing!
i think art has always kind of been the type of guy to want domesticity.
i already posted about this somewhere but i kind of came to that conclusion because patrick said “he wants to spend time with his family” to tashi in the alley scene
patrick hadn’t spoken to art for like a decade at that point
and you could say it's a good guess but NO!
patrick knows art like the back of his hand and patrick knows that art has always wanted a family and how much it probably kills him to miss out on time with them due to his career at that point in time (also just throwing this out there i think art always wanted to have a daughter more than a son, like that just makes sense to me. maybe bc i think his own relationship with his dad is so distant? idk!)
so yeah
also the sauna scene where patrick says that marriage isn't what he was for
(to me) also implies that he is the opposite of art who was meant for marriage
anyway do i think that art shared his wishes for a family and marriage in the future with patrick? yes
do i think patrick jokingly made art promise to make him his best man? yeah
and furthermore do i think about the fact that patrick then had to read about arts wedding in some tabloid years later? yep!
i’m sure i could think of more in the future but that's all i've got for now! i hope this was coherent enough to enjoy because it’s not as proofread as my fics usually are lol! i just wanted to get these thoughts out there
if some of these seem familiar it might be because i took some of these from my twt!
i also have some more headcanons floating around on my tumblr that i didn't include here if you want to find those, or not, i'm not your mom!
#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig#artrick#challengers fanfic#challengers headcanons#challengers fic#ames writes~!
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The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 12
Welcome to act 2. These are going to be a rough set of chapters for Steve. I hate to do it, but I've got to get him low, to have Eddie build him back up.
If you've been following along to WIP Wednesday, you'll know (or at least suspect) that I'm nearing the end of act 2 and the return of Eddie.
Then I'm not sure how much longer it's going to be. It could be a couple of chapters. But it might be several.
Here we have Jeff teasing Steve and Eddie. Steve decides to spend all his money on movies and popcorn, and at last a wild Birdie appears.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
~
It took a month before Clint Harrington gave up on his crusade to chase his son out of town. That didn’t make Steve safe, per se, just safer. But he took what little comfort in that that he could.
The kids were jealous of the Sunbird, Mike finally admitting that yes, some mysterious benefactor had come in and swept Steve off his feet. He was a kept man.
Steve squirmed at the term. He was going to start looking for work. Just as soon as the dust settled. There was no point in looking when Clint Harrington was just going to come in and throw his weight around get him fired again.
Mike just rolled his eyes when he explained it to the kids, but Max was of the idea to milk for as much as it was worth.
“Seriously, Steve,” Max huffed, “if I could live in a hotel and swim whenever I wanted and order as much food as I wanted, I’d never want to leave.”
He scoffed. “That’s because you’re like ten and actually have friends your age or did you all forget that my dad chased all my friends off?”
“Ooh,” Lucas said clicking his tongue and shaking his head, “yeah, man. That’s rough. And it doesn’t help that this place has one movie theater, an arcade, and a handful of specialty shops none of which scream fun times for teenagers.”
“Yeah,” Will said from the couch, “Jonathan has been complaining about it all summer. There’s Bloomington or Indy, but considering you don’t know which direction your parents went, you’re pretty much stuck in Hell.”
Steve waved his hand at Will. “See? Will gets it.”
So all the kids got their heads together will Claudia and Joyce and tried to plot out something for Steve to do so that he wouldn’t have be staring at the same set of walls every day, no matter how gorgeous those walls happened to be.
Which is how Steve became cinaphile. He started just picking random movies to see at random times of the day during the week. His favorite time to go was Tuesday afternoons before the middle school got out. Not enough time for high school students to evade the place, but later than the moms taking their small children as a way to beat the summer heat.
It also allowed him to find new genres he liked and through all this Eddie stayed his constant phone companion. He loved listening to Steve talk about the plot and how hot the actors were. It was fun.
Steve was also starting to make friends with the rest of the band. He found out who the other person that picked up before thinking it was his phone that was ringing.
“Hey, is Eddie around?” Steve had asked, calling the mobile phone.
“He just stepped out for a minute but he’ll be right back,” the person said. “I’m Jeff by the way, I’m the one that picked up before.”
“Oh hello!” Steve said in surprise. “You’re the other guitarist, right?”
Jeff laughed. “Yeah that’s me. Thanks for not saying ‘the black one’ by the way.”
“Happens a lot?” he asked with a grimace.
“All the time,” Jeff deadpanned. “All the god damned time.”
“That must be shitty,” Steve commiserated. “I guess it’s not quite the same as saying the blond one or the tall one.”
“Yeaaaahhh, no,” Jeff said. “The other two are neutral attributes while being black carries a certain disdain to it.”
“One of the families I used to babysit before this all went to hell,” Steve said, “was a black family and I didn’t realize all the little shit they go through each day. All the snide remarks and sneering glances all the for the crime of existing in the grocery store.”
“Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “Oh wait, your lover boy is back. Hey Ed, it’s Steve.”
“Little Canary!” Eddie said excitedly upon being given the phone. “Jeff didn’t spill any of my secrets did he?”
Steve heard Jeff laugh in the background. “I didn’t know there were secrets he kept... I’m going to have to pump him for information next time.”
‘No, no, no,” Eddie whined. “Not allowed! Shoo Jeffy. Mine! Shoo!”
“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Steve giggled. “You can tell all your secrets yourself the next time you’re in Hawkins.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said softly. “I think I’d like that very much.”
“You’re just a gooey marshmallow, aren’t you?” Steve said with a giggle. “A perfectly roasted marshmallow. Hard on the outside, but all melty and gooey on the inside. Sweet and sticky.”
Eddie burst out laughing. “You really had me going there until the sticky part. Yeah, baby. I’ll be your marshmallow and you’ll be my little Canary.”
“Yeah, Eds,” Steve said, “I’d really like that.”
They talked for a little bit longer before Eddie hummed.
“Steve we have to talk about the last month of the tour,” he said seriously.
Steve’s blood froze in his veins. Eddie rarely called him ‘Steve’. It was a petname like baby, sweetheart, or honey, or little Canary, or maybe even Stevie. But never Steve. “Oh yeah? What about?”
“We’re going to be in Canada,” Eddie continued. “I’ll still be able to call, but only from hotel rooms. I don’t get good service there.”
The ice in his veins turned to lead in his stomach. “So while you’re on the road, you won’t be able to call me?” he asked, his voice small.
“Oh, little Canary,” Eddie said sympathetically. “I’ll try to call from payphones when we stop for gas, but yeah. It’ll be pretty sporadic. But I’ve gotten Chrissy to promise that she’ll take good care you.”
“She still doesn’t like, you know,” Steve said, “she thinks I’m distracting you from doing your job.”
“Which is fucking ridiculous,” Eddie assured him. “I shake my ass on stage and sing and play my heart out. I never skimp on that, and never walk out one meet and greets with the fans. It’s her job to worry, but it’s not your problem. It’s mine. Plus I have my little elf in play who will be plying you with as many little bird gifts I can find.”
Steve couldn’t help but smile at that. He had gotten in addition to the necklace that he only took off to shower, a couple of graphic t-shirts with canaries on them. A keychain as well as one with his name on it. Three little ceramic canaries and a glass one. All brought in by Eddie’s little elf.
“Yeah, okay,” he huffed. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”
“Well, I’ve got to go, babe,” Eddie murmured, “I’ll talk to later. The change won’t happen right away, but I’ll tell you when the date gets closer, okay?”
“Roger that,” Steve said with a sigh of relief. Then they hung up and he flopped on the sofa like a fainting Victorian maiden. In a couple of weeks, he would go back to being as lonely as fuck.
He didn’t even know who the little elf was or why they never showed themselves. All though, knowing Eddie, it was probably just because he thought it was cute. Which it was. It was also a little on the creepy side. He had gotten to know the porters, bellboys, and cleaning staff very well, so he didn’t mind them coming in while he was out or even in the shower.
But a mysterious person whom he knew nothing about? Yeah that was a problem. He didn’t know if they were male or female, how old they were, were they friendly or just doing their job.
To say it drove Steve nuts would be an understatement.
It had been six weeks since his dad chucked him out for making out with Tommy on the sofa and all that time he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the bastard or any of their friends. It was just then his luck ran out.
He had accidentally spilled almost his whole bottle of shampoo and had to go and get more. He spoke briefly to Joyce and chatted with her about Will and how Jonathan was adjusting to being newly graduated and turned around to run directly into someone.
“Shit!” Steve hissed as the basket he was carrying slammed into his stomach. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
He looked up, right into the green eyes and freckled face of Tommy Hagan.
“Steve!”
“Hey, Tommy,” Steve said with a fake smile. “How have you been?” The unasked question of ‘why did you leave me?’ hung in the air between them.
Tommy reached up and rubbed the material of Steve’s shirt between his finger and thumb. “That’s some pretty fancy new getup you’ve got there. Where you get the money for such nice things?”
Steve took a step back and crossed his arms. “I’m surviving. Like I always do.” He hated how he was already put on the defensive.
“Mhmm...” Tommy purred. “Pretty little slut like you, I bet you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy you’ve spread your legs for.”
Dread immediately pooled in Steve’s stomach. That wasn’t what Eddie was? Was he?
He smacked Tommy’s hand away. “Jealous that someone is fucking me better than you ever could? Maybe I have someone paying my bills or maybe I just have a trust fund. I’ll never tell you jack shit.”
The thing was is that he probably did have a trust fund. He just wouldn’t get it until he turned twenty-one. He had two years of running on empty he would have to do first. At least he had until Eddie came home anyway.
“No,” Tommy agreed, “you were always more of a screamer than a talker.”
Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed. “At least I didn’t run like a bitch when my parents walked in on us fucking. You find another dick to ride or did you go back to Carol like the coward you are?”
Tommy scowled. “You keep her name out your dirty mouth, Stevie boy. You don’t want to see what will happen if you don’t.”
“Yeah,” Steve said with a snort, “you’ll go running back to Daddy to protect you, like always do. Now pardon me, I have better things to do.” His eyes flicked over Tommy’s body. “If you hadn’t been the only option, I wouldn’t have picked you.”
He pushed passed him, bumping their shoulders together as he did.
He quickly bought what he needed and about as much junk food as he could get hands on. Joyce looked as though she wanted to ask if he was okay, so picked a different line to go though, hurrying out to his car. He looked around to make sure Tommy wasn’t waiting for him, but he didn’t see his car.
He drove back to the hotel, ready for a junk food night in front of the TV. He ordered room service and turned on the shower to wash off the slimy feeling of the interaction with Tommy. He had removed his shirt when he realized he had left the shampoo out there.
He opened the door and stopped in his tracks. Because there putting a couple of boxes on the end table was a girl with choppy blonde hair and boxy clothes. She was definitely not staff.
“So you’re my elf.”
~
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt
9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec
10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#age difference#ten years between steve and eddie
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Pranking Hamzah with the calling my boyfriend “my friend”😝
Pranking him!
bf!hamzah x fem reader
──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ
You were out shopping by yourself, spending too much on random shit you didn’t need, while Hamzah was with Martin filming their youtube video. In the middle of trying on clothes, you had this brilliant idea to prank Hamzah. You’ve seen people trick their boyfriends by calling them “friend” and supposedly this makes your boyfriend annoyed.
-
As you walk into your apartment, Hamzah was already home and you thought now would be the perfect time to prank him.
“I went shopping! Do u want a haul?” You smiled.
“Sure, why not” he sat his phone down to give you his full attention.
You excitedly sat down next to him on the couch and you propped your phone up to start recording. This caught him a bit off guard but he didnt question it.
“Whaddup guys! Earlier I went out and bought some stuff, so I am going to show you guys. Also by the way, my friend’s here I’m going to show him too” you said.
Hamzah looked at you with a confused face but you ignored it and continued with your tiktok.
“Yall, look at this gorgeous babydoll top” you show off a red top then turned it to Hamzah which he replies with a nod.
“That’s nice its very cute”
“My friend says it’s cute” You saying this definitely annoyed him and his face said it all.
“Ok here I got 2 pairs of denim jeans because I wasn’t sure which ones I liked more”
You continued on with your haul and sliding in a few more “friend” phrases to piss your boyfriend off.
“Okay, why do you keep calling me that?” He finally said.
“Calling you what?” You said in confusion which stopped you from showing off another shirt.
“You’re calling me ‘friend’ stop it!” He protested.
“No I didn’t” you deny and kept going with your haul.
“I’m your boyfriend!”
“Sorry guys, I don’t know why my friend is acting like that” you said to your phone.
“I’m leaving” he got up but you quickly held onto his arm, preventing him from leaving.
“Ok Hamzah I’m sorry! Its a prank! It was just for the tiktok” you pointed at your phone.
“That’s not funny, I hated that” he said with a straight face.
“Baby, I was only kidding” you placed your palm on his cheek, in hopes that he forgives you.
“I did not like that at all” he giggled.
You grab your phone to stop the recording and laughed at the footage. “Oh my god, you should’ve seen your face” you said.
“I’m sorry, it’s just a silly trend”
“Yeah whatever. But just know I’m getting you back” he threatened.
You look up at him in an angry expression, which made him laugh. You knew doing stupid pranks made you and Hamzah’s relationship more fun and unpredictable.
──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ
#hamzahthefantastic#slushy noobz#hamzah imagines#hamzah fic#hamzah x reader#hamzahsmut#thatmartinkid#tiktok#hamzah x y/n#prank#hamzah fluff
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A little treat, from the other side of the glass!
===
Steph and Jason stand there in silence after the natural disaster that they just witnessed dipped like bats out of hell.
Steph's mouth is dry, and she feels deprived of a hunt she only just started.
"So, did you hire her because you guys match?" Steph finally says, after watching Jason moon after his new boytoy for a couple seconds to make herself feel better.
Not that Jason keeps boytoys, but really, he should. Danny can be his first.
"What?" Jason blinks at her in confusion, no doubt still suffering the effects of lovesickness. Ugh.
"Val." Steph clarifies, enunciating because she likes the way it sounds on her tongue, "y'know, yay high, hot as sin, hair like—" she twirls a finger towards her own bangs, signifying the two starkly white dreads the other woman had framing her face.
Jason scoffs. "No, she's good. Knows her shit." Jason gives her a look. "I wouldn't hire someone who couldn't do the job."
"Figured," Steph placates, picking up a random nut on the table "She work the weekdays?"
She doesn't know who she's kidding. They both know Steph's panting after Jaybird's new mechanic like a dog eyeing a particularly tasty looking bone.
Two minutes ago, she watched Val suplex Danny in picture perfect 4K, and lost control of her own goddamn mouth.
"Gods, I wish that were me." Steph had said then, out loud.
Thankfully, Jason was too preoccupied watching a basically shirtless Danny pinning Val to the ground and saying "Satan, I wish that were me." to really make fun of her for it.
But Steph's not stupid, and for all the violence and muscle Jason's made up of, that doesn't mean he's stupid either. Or deaf.
They both heard the other, and are pointedly not talking about it.
Who the hell says "Satan" instead of "Gods" anyway? Jason literally worships the ground Wonder Woman struts on, and she's basically a God. Goddess. Whatever.
Power positions shouldn't be gendered. It's all the same.
"She works when she works." Jason finally says, not at all fooled by her innocent demeanor. It hasn't worked for years. Not since she was still dating Tim, but it won't stop her from trying.
She gives up.
"Come on Jaybird, you saw her!" Steph immediately whines.
"I did. And I am not letting my very talented, very valued employee fall into the clutches of a harpy!" Jason throws his hands up, strolling back to her car to get it sorted. He's no doubt under the impression that the faster he fixes it, the sooner she'll leave.
They both know it's a lost hope.
"I am not a harpy," Steph sniffs, ignoring Jason's responding scoff, "And I just wanna get to know her, is all."
"Know like what, her three sizes and what she looks like on a bed?” Jason snarks.
She kicks him in the side. “First of all, crude. What would Alfie say?”
Jason pointedly ignores her, but she’s used to that treatment from him. “Plus, it’s not like you’re any better!”
Jason stands up abruptly to glare at Steph. “You met Val today. I’ve met Danny a handful of times this week and yeah, I like what I see,” Steph feels a triumphant glee take over her, but Jason shuts her up by pointing a greasy hand at her threateningly, “but I like how he's funny and smart more.”
Steph lets that percolate for a moment, trying to keep a straight face, before a shit-eating grin takes over her face. “And it doesn’t hurt that pretty boy can throw down.”
Jason rolls his eyes, but he can’t fool Steph. She sees his get a little red as he turns back to sink into the hood of her car. “He made that bike, y’know.”
That surprises her. “He did? By himself??”
“His friend Tucker tricked it out with him—Danny can code, but his friend’s a certified genius apparently.” Steph feels warmth flood over her as Jason continues to talk about Danny, about the handful of things the two men have talked about during the scant moments Danny’s there waiting to pick up Val. "We're only three years apart, and he's already got a lot goin' on for him."
"Hey, you got this place all on your own, without Bruce's help, and got back on your feet." Steph jabs a threatening finger at him, "You're barely legal to drink, and you have what, 6 employees?"
Jason sniffs, muttering something about college and pit madness. Steph rolls her eyes and promptly tells him where he can shove that kind of talk.
Namely: where the sun don't shine and Gotham smog don't go.
In truth, she’s happy. She’s never seen Jason this relaxed about meeting someone new, though she’s sure it’s not the first time. She and Jay have never been too close, despite the fact that he tolerates her more in casual hangouts than the rest of the bats and birds.
They trust each other with their lives, of course, but Steph wasn’t exactly there when Red Hood first made his debut, and she’s one of the few in the Batfam that didn’t know Jason before.
Sometimes she thinks that the only reason he can tolerate her as much as he does. Can't make comparisons to a dead boy if you didn't know the dead boy, after all.
So she listens to him redirect the talk back to Danny, to the shop, and when Jason runs out of things to say they sit together in comfortable, familiar silence. The only noise being the city ambience and Jason tinkering around in the guts of her car.
Steph basks in it, breathing slow and deep, contemplative.
"So. Vigilantes?" Jason finally utters, Steph's eyes snapping open so she can point a finger at him frantically.
"Right!? Phantom?" She asks, watching as Jason turns toward her with a wrench from god knows where.
"Huntress?" Jason counters.
"Cujo????" Steph almost screeches.
There's another silence, as Jason and Steph stare at each other, confused beyond measure. It's the kind of pause that people who've just been through a baffling moment together can commiserate in, a moment that really takes one aback, rare for borne and bred Gothamites like Steph and Jason are.
"Tim?" Steph offers.
"Babs?" Jason pleads.
A long moment, and Steph nods, pulling out her phone.
She pretends not to notice Jason's shoulders slumping in relief as he turns back to her car—probably thinking he's just dodged a bullet on brotherly nosiness. Tim might be able to lie to Batman's face, but he's still a sucker for Dick Grayson's pouty whines.
Jokes on him, last she heard Dick is hanging out with Babs today, so he'll find out anyway.
The second she presses send, she belatedly remembers that she's also probably going to be subjected to the nosy.
Gods damn it all.
Mechanic!Val AU, but make it gay and sapphic.
ya'll can thank the HH discord for this one. Specifically the menace known as @clockwayswrites (and @impyssadobsessions for the art that inspired the damn thing)
Dead on Main and with some future Val/Steph >)
also @belfry-ghost did a doodle for this AU and everyone should go love on his art. Val's so unf.
===
Val’s pretty sure her new boss Jay is actually a crime lord.
She’s pretty sure he’s The Crime Lord, actually. She’s like, 98% sure she works for Red Hood now, and she’s low key mad about it. She squints at the man now, with his white streak and almost imperceptible green sheen to his eyes.
The problem is that Val did perceive it. Because she used to date a guy whose baby blue eyes changed ever so slightly in the same way. Thinking about Danny makes her even madder.
To be clear, she’s not mad about Red Hood himself.
She’s just mad that, of all the mechanic shops in all of Crime Alley, she just had to work for her ex-boyfriend’s third place Hall Pass pick. It also makes her miss her friends way more, and Val is hardly what one would call a well-adjusted woman, so she’s mad about it.
She huffs as she lifts the hood of the second car she’s working on today. Being a mechanic wasn’t really on the docket for Val’s life goals, nor was being in Gotham, but she got a full ticket ride on Wayne Foundation scholarships, and honestly?
Gotham is Amity Park Lite: Gargoyles and Furries Edition.
Between a full ride to Gotham U and being stuck at Elmerton Community College? The choice was easy.
So here she is, working for the resident Crime Lord in his civvies.
Jay pays good, teaches her what she needs to know, and bonus: he sometimes helps with her English Literature class. He’s flexible on hours, and she’s even got rudimentary insurance.
All in All? It could be worse—she could still be working for Vlad, after all.
It's the little things.
#i want them both to be smooth but i know in my heart they're goobers#im bi so everyone in this fic is bi#thems the rules#val/steph#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#my writing#danny phantom#dcu#dead on main#danny/jason#danny fenton#jason todd#red hood#mechanic val au#stephanie brown/valerie gray#valerie gray#stephanie brown
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Thoughts on a potential Beetlejuice and Astrid friendship? I can see BJ trying to bond with her as part of a scheme to win Lydia's heart (by showing off his stepdad skills) but actually growing kinda fond of her. Like a weird twisted version of the cartoon dynamic.
honestly i'm very surprised we didn't see much of that at all in BJBJ, especially considering they were even selling merch about it:
i can only base this opinion off of jenna's interviews and astrid's reactions to beetlejuice getting rid of jeremy and rory, but i'm convinced that they would get along surprisingly well, just maybe not at first. she doesn't seem to be afraid of him in the slightest. maybe i'm a little biased because of how much she reminds me of musical lydia, but i think she can keep up with him relatively unfazed, so he wouldn't be able to mess with her so easily like he does with everyone else. i get the sense that this would impress him a bit.
i also think she would poke and prod with tough questions he's gonna have to figure out how to avoid. she's very sharp and can be quite abrasive too. i LOVE the idea of her being able to catch him off guard at times, like when she pointed out the contract was null and void. bro literally went "wbwuh?" lmao
does beetlejuice even have a paternal instinct? i think even he doesn't know that. he'd probably tell himself he does just to make himself feel more suitable for lydia and her daughter and then try to sell his image as such. i just know he would play that shit up to cartoonish levels with all the dad stereotypes from movies and tv. but once again, we wouldn't really know how much of that would be genuine because he's always clowning around.
i'd like to think he would genuinely care for her though. and this would completely shock him, because i'm sure that in his 600 years he's never felt something like this before. the paternal thing i mean. that's a very specific feeling he never would've seen coming because he's probably never considered fatherhood before. because i mean. he's dead, he can't have kids of his own anyway lol
if his feelings for lydia are genuine and run that deep (and they seem to be, because who the hell pines for that long) then he will inevitably care for astrid as well. even if it was part of a deal, he did save her life, and with great satisfaction too.
i feel like all of this would develop before lydia even comes around to the fact that beetlejuice isn't going anywhere, so them getting along would be to her absolute chagrin lol
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Harry’s life at the Dursley makes me extra side when I remember he was a baby when he came to them. It makes me wonder when did he start sleeping in the cupboard?
And then I spiral and think about Harry calling Petunia mom when he is three years old. How did she raise him until he became a kid? And I think about him doing art during Mother and Father’s Day for his uncle and his aunt and them throwing it in the bin. Did he try to listen Petunia read a story to Dudley? Did he ever learn how to swim with school and he just never learnt?
And it makes me so, so sad.
It is. Everything about Harry's childhood breaks my heart. I already talked about it here and here.
We actually have a very depressing answer about the swimming lessons bit from GoF:
He wasn’t a very good swimmer; he’d never had much practice. Dudley had had lessons in his youth, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, no doubt hoping that Harry would drown one day, hadn’t bothered to give him any.
Which I take to mean he had maybe, like, two or three lessons for swimming at school and that's it.
As for the other stuff, I don't remember direct answers so you're going to hear my headcanons:
1. I think Harry never called Petunia "mom". When he was a baby he still could remember his mother and as he grew up he got used to calling her "Aunt Petunia" so he never called her mom except for maybe one time on accident when he was 3 or 4 which he was screamed at for: "I'm not you're mother, Freak!" and probably also slapped for.
2. I think when he was very very young, like, younger than 2-3 Petunia did put more effort in keeping him alive immediately after her sister's death and with Dumbledore's letter/threat fresh in her mind. But slowly she saw nothing happened and no one came when she treated Harry badly, so it emboldened the Duesleys.
I also think Harry started showing magic at a very young age, like 4-5, and when he did, Petunia and Vernon moved him to the cupboard and their treatment of him worsened even more.
After all, Petunia remembers her childhood with Lily who could do magic, she would recognize it for what it is — and she and Vernone are terrified of it. That's why the moment Harry showed signs of magic I believe they moved him to the cupboard to keep him away from Dudley.
3. The idea you brought up about little Harry making a family drawing of him with the Dursleys and Petunia scrunching her nose before throwing it in the bin in front of Harry's face.... shit, that's so sad and I'm sure it happened. I just imagine baby Harry's face, all proud of his drawing and not fully understanding the Dursleys yet with his cute nose and big green eyes and he would be so disappointed. I don't think he'd cry though. I think by that point he learned Vernon and Petunia don't like him crying.
4. I think the next year he drew himself with how he imagines his parents to be and he hides it from the Dursleys because Harry's a fast learner. I'm sure he spent nights dreaming about who his parents were from the very little information he got out of Petunia.
5. I can definitely see a young Harry crouching near Dudley's bedroom door as Petunia tells him a story. And then when she's done, he'd run away quickly so he won't be caught.
6. As a bit of a continuation of sneaking around to listen to bedtime stories, I think watching television at the Dursleys was similar. We know from canon Harry did use the time the Dursleys were away to watch television or play on Dudley's computer:
“You could just leave me here,” Harry put in hopefully (he’d be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley’s computer) .
(PS)
Though I don't think the Dursleys allowed him to do it, he just got good at sneaking around when they're not there. I'm saying that since Harry mentions Mrs. Figg lets him watch television:
She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she’d had it for several years.
(PS)
So it seems he wasn't usually allowed to watch television or play on Dudley's computer. I think the way Harry watches television when the Dursleys are home is by standing at the doorway and watching without them noticing (that's why he can't pick what to watch). I mean, we kinda see him doing it in OotP when he lays beneath the window to listen to the news on their television without them knowing.
Yeah, Harry's childhood was so depressing and I think the books actually portray him and how his childhood affected him well considering the books were limited in what they were allowed to show. I think the signs of trauma and abuse are clear if you look for them, even if they're not all called out in an obvious manner.
Writing this post just made me super sad now for Harry. My boy deserved so much better.
#harry potter#hp#hp meta#asks#anonymous#hollowedheadcanon#hollowedtheory#harry potter meta#harry james potter#my best boy hjp#tw: child abuse#hp headcanon
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