#look at them and tell me they're sane
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numberfiveisback · 7 months ago
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they're all crazy.
only sane one there is Cassie, but that sanity is hanging by a thread, and that thread is being sawed at by the other three kids.
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nyankojin · 6 months ago
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*ROUNDHOUSE KICKS YOUR DOOR IN*
NO THOUGHTS ONLY WARLOCK AND PIERRE
Happy one year anniversary to this anon I've had sitting in the back of my drafts. Yeah sorry I needed all of it to figure out how to draw Pierre.
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There isn’t enough art of Warlock and Pierre being cuddly and affectionate out there.
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queen-susans-revenge · 2 years ago
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Hi there, if you have time, could you please point me to the folktales where the elves are revolted by the English language?
So @hashkivenu , good question. In truth I was told that, by an Irish storyteller, and I also have a vague memory of reading something that backed it up...but I've been looking through my reference books and I can't seem to find the story I remember. (It was like a variant of "The Legend of Knockgrafton," except instead of being offended that the second singer sang the wrong days of the week, the fairies were offended that the second singer sang in English.)
I'm still going through my written sources trying to find this...I swear I remember it! But the more I comb through my reference material, the more I have to admit that my original claim was overstated, and incorrect in a few particulars.
Firstly, they aren't really elves, or fairies either. They're the people of the mounds, the Aes Sídhe, and to believers it's not actually considered safe to talk much about them at all: naming them may draw their attention, which is dangerous. So they are generally referred to with euphemisms, like the "good neighbors," the "other crowd," or simply them.
Belief in the other crowd continues in some parts of Ireland to this day, although it is dying out, but as recently as 2003 Eddie Lenihan—a folklorist and a believer who has launched successful campaigns to preserve places sacred to Them from highways and other urban expansion—was able to collect (with Carolyn Eve Green) a book's worth of material titled Meeting the Other Crowd: The Fairy Stories of Hidden Ireland. Some of these are stories handed down through the oral tradition, and some are first-hand accounts. It's the most modern work I know on what's sometimes called "the fairy faith".
And in Lenihan's work, the Good People are not automatically hostile to English speakers. He still notes in multiple places that their native language is Irish, for instance on pages 64 and 299 ("In the second story above, note that the changeling speaks Irish. This was commonly believed of the fairies, that Irish was—and is—their native language.") For an older attestation to the idea that fairies only speak Irish, see Lady Augusta Gregory (1920) in the second series of her Visions and Beliefs in the West of Ireland:
As to the book she told me of that had come from the unseen and was written in Irish, I think of Mrs. Sheridan's answer when I asked in what language the strange unearthly people she had been among had talked: "Irish of course—what else would they talk?"
But it would seem that there has been a softening in the fairy tradition, and they are no longer believed to react to English speech with hostility or outright violence.
But you have to understand that language was a real battleground in Ireland. The Irish language was brutally repressed by the English. During the Penal Laws it was completely outlawed. Irish manuscripts were burned. Children in school had to wear a stick on a piece of string around their necks: each time they used Irish during the day, a notch would be cut into the stick. And at the end of the day they would be beaten as many times as there were notches on the stick.
So the language itself was a locus of resistance, and the legends of the Fair Folk, being deeply tied to the language and the land, were part of that resistance.
Because like I said in the earlier post, Irish is a magic language. The satirists of legend were known to place terrible curses on their enemies. There were seven grades of poets (the bards, so familiar to us now from D&D, were actually a lower order of entertainer) and the filí at the top outranked even druids in social hierarchy and magical power according to some sources (e.g. the Uraichech Becc). These elite poet-storyteller-magicians were believed to be able to prophesy the future or even speak a new reality into being.
There is a sense in which mythic Irish history begins with an act of magical speech: The Song of Amergin. There are figures that come before Amergin in various histories (and about them more in just a second), but he is the one who named Ériu/Ireland and invoked its spirit with a powerful incantation that quelled storms and established his right to sovereignty over the land:
Am gaeth i m-muir, Am tond trethan, Am fuaim mara, Am dam secht ndirend Am séig i n-aill Am dér gréne, Am cain lubai, Am torc ar gail, Am he i l-lind, Am loch i m-maig, Am brí a ndai, Am bri danae, Am bri i fodb fras feochtu, Am dé delbas do chind codnu, Coiche nod gleith clochur slébe Cia on co tagair aesa éscai Cia du i l-laig fuiniud gréne
I am the wind on the sea; I am the wave of the sea; I am the bull of seven battles; I am the eagle on the rock I am a flash from the sun; I am the most beautiful of plants; I am a strong wild boar; I am a salmon in the water; I am a lake in the plain; I am the word of knowledge; I am the head of the spear in battle; I am the god that puts fire in the head; Who spreads light in the gathering on the hills Who can tell the ages of the moon Who can tell the place where the sun rests
So. With "the word of knowledge," with the blessing of "the god that puts fire in the head"—with speech, with poetry, with language—Amergin and his people took possession of Ireland. (When exactly this was supposed to have happened is hard to say. There's different versions of the Song of Amergin in different medieval texts, but it's obviously from an older, possibly much older, oral tradition.)
And who, according to the stories, did Amergin and his people claim the land from? From the Tuatha Dé Danann, the folk of the goddess Danu. And partly with their consent: three kings of the Tuatha Dé Danann had to be defeated in single combat, but three queens gave Amergin their permission.
And it is possible to draw a direct line from the Tuatha Dé Danann to the Aes Sídhe. Because after they lost the right to rule Ireland, they were said to retreat under the hills and to the Otherworld. So from the beginning the Fair Folk represented a kind of dispossessed grandeur, a lost heritage...an undying legacy. And a dual nature, some of them hostile and some benevolent.
I think it makes sense that They have softened toward English speakers as the English have stepped back from their oppression of the Irish. Children obviously no longer need to wear the bata scoir, the tally stick, in school. (In fact now they tend to complain about being forced to study Irish, rather than being disallowed from speaking it!)
I personally am not a believer in the fairy faith, but I try to be respectful. To the best of my understanding, should you ever meet one of the Aes Sidhe, it is not really respectful to speak to them in English. And to be perfectly clear, it is not safe to speak to Them, or even of them, under any circumstances, whatever language you choose. We are testing our luck right now, dear Reader, you and I together.
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guinevereslancelot · 5 months ago
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recieved a letter from the parents of a friend trying to get allies to say she's had a break from reality so they can institutionalize her before she can get married. another normal one today 😅👍
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medicinemane · 5 months ago
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Fucking hell, every last one of them is bat shit insane...
#got my ballot here and looking up the primary candidates#got the ultimate stinker that I 100% don't want but who will probably win the primary because...#I don't know... because something is very wrong with people#like I avoid saying things that could tell people where I am these days just on principle#but this is legit one of my least liked people in all of US politics; they're just so fucking stupid and awful and...#and I could say more to back that up; but that would 100% tell you exactly what district I'm in#anyway; terrible person and they'll probably win the nomination and all I can do is hope they somehow lose to the other party#but anyway; I'm looking at the other options and... I'd take any of you over that asshole; but you're all bug fuck insane too#every last one of them I read the quote from on this one site (cause I'm trying to find info on their policy and stuff)#and every quote might as well be like:#'I think an important part of a true american diet is plenty of glue; make the big wigs in washington force feed kids more glue!'#like fuck me... I'm probably going to vote just based off the polls on who stands a chance of defeating moron supreme#but I don't want any of you; there's not a single reassuring thing said here anywhere#there's only one person that's saying sane shit; and he ain't in this party so I hope he wins and I'll probably vote for him instead#ok... traits I like in my political candidates... a basic grasp of reality#this seems like a high bar these days... I guess
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aphel1on · 6 months ago
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the longer i look at this panel the more deranged i feel about it. this is environmental storytelling at its finest.
the eodio stand-in doll in particular makes me crazy. where did it come from? did thistle just pop into the village like "hey ungrateful wretches, one of you needs to make me a life-sized mannequin, For Reasons". did he make it himself? seems quite unlikely, yet the possibility haunts me. i mean, i guess there could've been one just lying around the dungeon somewhere. it's the act of replacement itself that really gets to me. (edit: it's been pointed out to me that the eodio doll also could have been left behind as part of delgal's escape plan. slightly different kind of madness but tbh, just as funny-sad to me if that happened and thistle went Ok, Guess That's Eodio Now.)
both the wives are there too. we know very little about them, which makes me tend to assume thistle wasn't all that close to them, but they're still included. when did they end up here? did he kick their souls out of their bodies at some point, or were they among those who left their bodies voluntarily to try and escape? when did yaad become an effective orphan, delgal an effective widower? women in the margins of the narrative, tell me your stories!
and the fact that they're surrounded with the living paintings, which thistle habitually wanders through to relive the past. this truly is his inner sanctum, his place of utmost comfort... and it may as well be a tomb.
that panel is so creepy when you first see it. just a sense of "ohh jeez, there's a lot to unpack there".
and actually, yeah, it remains creepy from pretty much any angle, but the more you think about it the more it's also tragic.
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this is where many of thistle's happiest moments took place. everything he had in that picture is now gone. first he lost their warm regard, then one-by-one their bodies became hollow shells. before the end, none of the people here needed or enjoyed food anymore. the dinner table, as a center of both family life and nutrition, became obsolete.
a line from someone else's excellent post about thistle has stuck in my head ever since i read it: "to eat is to live, but to eat together is to be loved". to me, this is the sentiment and symbolism at the core of everything that happens in dungeon meshi.
it makes this bit all the sadder and more disturbing.
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there's several things to note here:
thistle has gone from seated and eating with them as part of the family, to a lonely and ominous figure hovering over delgal's shoulder
eodio is conspicuously absent from view, and his body would have been a husk by now, but yaad says parents, which forces me to assume that they are sitting at the table with eodio's soulless body, hidden under yaad's speech bubble
they're not actually eating anything.
those plates are empty. you could assume that they've already finished eating, maybe, but yaad refers to it as sitting around the dinner table. in fact, he compares it to what he's currently doing; sitting at the dinner table watching the touden party eat, not eating anything himself.
it paints a pretty grim picture. for some time even after the fantasy had fallen apart, even after there was no need or desire to eat, they kept gathering around the dinner table. at that point, i'd guess only so as not to provoke thistle's wrath.
but even that last happened a long, long time ago.
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this is a callback to what senshi said in the golden kingdom: the reason the people keep maintaining their fields and silverware and so forth is that they need to do so in order to stay sane.
paradoxically, the dinner table is the most striking evidence of thistle's insanity, and at the same time, it's the only anchor to sanity he has left.
he kept enforcing the ritual of dinner together long after it lost significance. when even that was impossible- because almost everyone's souls were gone- he kept their bodies at the table anyway. it's fine. it's fine! he's protected them, physically, just like he set out to. they're all still breathing. at a glance it looks like they could wake up and resume dinner at any moment. like this, it's easy to pretend.
isn't that what being a dungeon lord is, at the core of it? rejecting reality, staying in the prison of one's impossible desires. it's just one long game of pretend.
thistle did all this to protect his loved ones. no matter how obsessive and twisted he became in pursuit of that over the years, his core motivation never changed. this is all he has left of that dream: his loved ones' bodies gathered around the locus of their happiest memories together. like this, he can tell himself he's succeeded.
when eodio's body vanished with delgal's soul in it- when he couldn't even have that anymore... well.
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i want to reach through the screen and shake him. no, they're not, thistle. THISTLE, NO, THEY'RE NOT! the doll of eodio is the closest thing to him in this panel, underlining the point. when that final illusion was shattered, he became completely unable to cope with reality.
therefore casually forgetting the creepy eodio doll isn't real.
thistle isn't stupid. eodio's body vanished at the same time as delgal's soul. shortly after, more adventurers came pouring in than ever before. deep down, he knows what happened. if he didn't, being confronted with the truth by mithrun wouldn't have made him panic so hard he summoned chimera falin to the first floor.
yet still...
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he absolutely can't admit that to himself. he is clinging to the last scraps of the illusion with everything he has.
this is a dungeon lord at the end of desire. this is a lotus-eater machine left running long after its conclusion. this is mithrun lying listlessly in his bed, his replica lover having given up any pretense of being human. the illusion is all that's left. (an illusion is all it ever was.) thistle and the citizens of the golden kingdom- they're ghosts just as much as the ones who wander the dungeon floors. and if it weren't for thistle sealing the lion away, he would've been eaten by it long ago.
all of this encapsulated by that single panel of the dinner table.
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theminecraftbee · 10 months ago
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"So, and I can't believe I have to be the guy to point this out," Doc starts hesitantly.
"Terrible start! Go on," Cleo says.
"But you seem to be one of the only sane people left right now," Doc continues.
"Even more terrible, although I appreciate your delusion," Cleo says.
"And I have to--you know, if you're going to make fun of me for bringing you a problem maybe I just won't. I can solve it myself. I basically solved the moon thing myself," Doc says. "I am trying to be responsible before this turns into a whole thing."
"Doc, you came to me. Did you want anything that wasn't me making fun of you? Because you know, if so, I really feel bad for you. I already feel bad enough for you that you think you actually managed to do anything at all about the moon thing."
Doc throws his hands up. "I am trying to warn you the ocean is evil! It's important! This is important!"
"The deep sea being evil isn't new," Cleo starts, "I was building Atlantis last season--"
"It sent, sent, salmon people to kill me!"
Cleo stops. They look Doc in the eyes. They search for any signs of deception at all. It's a little hard to tell, on account of Doc only having one eye even capable of expressiveness, and his face being the opposite of human, but...
"What?" Cleo says dumbly.
"It was like, like, Beef and Skizz, they were crazy! They were talking about a giant fish and how I shouldn't defy it. And I was like, what is a Big Salmon? I don't know, man, but they're ocean mobsters. And then I started looking. It's not just them. It's not just them Cleo, it's everyone. The ocean, man, it's evil, it's getting everyone. I've, I've made a list. Grian. Have you looked at Grian lately?"
"I think if we were worried about every time Grian got possessed then we wouldn't have any free time," Cleo says hesitantly.
"Right, right, but it was supposed to be Demise. The killing each other, all of the killing each other. I thought, oh, that'll get it out of their systems. But it's not just him Cleo! It's--have you seen Gem? She's all, oh, I will build a boat. Oh, I'll provoke the creatures of the deep. And then. Do you know what I saw all of Team ZITS doing? Fishing!"
"Doc," Cleo says, increasingly concerned for him. He looks... disheveled.
"And not just fishing, oh no. They were standing in the water fishing! And Pearl! Have I mentioned that Pearl is dressing up as a salmon? I mentioned that, yes? The salmon Pearl?"
"You hadn't, unless that was the big fish thing," Cleo says.
"No, that was something different, I think Pearl is maybe a different salmon."
"Sure, okay, more than one salmon, that makes sense," Cleo says dryly.
"And everyone, they are fishing each other around the ocean, yes? Etho is in the ocean! XB is in the ocean! I think I saw Joe crawl out of the ocean earlier, he was all wet and haunted! Surely that is a sign the ocean is evil."
"No, he's just like that," Cleo says. "Also, I did the fishing rod thing too. I think it's just... normal fun."
"They're getting you too. My assessment that you're the sane one. I've said too much."
"I think you need sleep," Cleo says. "Doc, there isn't an ocean-based conspiracy. It's the start of the season. You know we're just like this."
"That's the thing, I can't sleep," Doc says. "I can't. I sleep and I see it. I see it, lurking beneath the waves. It's calling for me Cleo. It's calling. And when it calls, it seems so--kind. But then. But then! I wake up, and I remember the shape of it, and..."
Doc shudders and stops talking. Cleo looks at him a moment longer and then, like comforting a nervous animal, takes his shoulder.
"You should take a nap. It's the start of the season. You're over-stressing yourself. Too much too fast?" they say, as soothingly as possible.
"It's coming for us," Doc says. "It's coming. I don't want to ignore it this time, yes? What's coming for us. We should--we should--"
"Even if it is, Doc, I don't think we can fight the ocean. Come on. Maybe sleeping in my base will help reset your brain."
Doc shudders, but lets Cleo guide him inside. They watch until at last he falls asleep fitfully before shaking their head and sighing.
"A giant fish that was trying to kill him. Honestly. I don't know where he gets these things from. Always a conspiracy with him..."
They decide to go to Ren. Ren knows how to humor Doc. Surely they can get in their ridiculous games again, and Doc will forget all about this. Doc would enjoy the Ministry of Ministries. Maybe he can be an anarchist or something. That would be good for him.
Doc cries out in his sleep. Cleo turns to him.
Then again, they have this strange sinking feeling in their stomach. Doc's... awfully worked up.
But it's Doc.
Surely it's nothing.
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tallykale · 1 month ago
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episode 19
as you can probably tell, i've thought a lot about what post-canon one would look like in my vision... i've said before that i have issues with straightforward fix-its, and i do genuinely love the tragic open-ended conclusion that the series has, but i... am not immune to playing with characters like dolls LOL
here's some writeups about where everyone is at mentally in these pictures. please please please PLEEEASE feel free to ask me more about this cuz i love talking about my beautiful mind palace
charlotte: somehow the most optimistic person in here, mostly out of necessity. when she died, she saw parker leading her out of a cave as her waiting room and was about to take his hand when airy respawned her, so she has a brief moment of bonding with bryce when he talks about the waiting room and seeing stella. with the knowledge that there is potentially a way to get out (bryce and liam being the proof) and the fear of rotting away again she is by far the most actively motivated to help liam figure out the computer. a lot of her days are spent talking to liam over the mic and writing out the code in the dirt so she can try to understand it. she still has to push against her natural misanthropy (and often shouts at liam or bryce for being fucking stupid and useless) but both working on the code and helping amelia give her something concrete to focus on outside herself. she wants to get home so she can make amends with her friends. charlotte is scared of dying! she's really genuinely horribly scared of dying and has awful vivid nightmares about rotting away. she often pushes amelia into talking about her life which causes some tension, but it's because she really hates seeing amelia lose herself like that - a metaphorical rotting away of the self.
subway seat & atom: not on the same level of pure existential depression as the batch 1 contestants, but they both feel the hopeless mood pretty harshly regardless. subway feels very lonely as the only hidden object still 'awake', and likes to carry whippy creamy around rather than just leave him sitting on the ground constantly. tray is too big and unwieldy for him to do that with, but he 'hangs out' with her anyway, talking to her and whippy creamy in the hopes that it'll get them to want to wake up again. atom doesn't talk much, but he still carries his piece of grass. he's definitely the person who's the least affected by the prospect of being stuck on the plane forever, since he… doesn't really perceive existence in the same way as everyone else? he's an atom. but his time in the competition definitely made him view everyone else as friends, and he feels even more powerless than usual in the face of this incomprehensibly difficult problem.
amelia: falls into total hopelessness when bryce rejoins, basically seeing it as the final sign that they're never going home. still calls everyone their competition names (she actually gets into a big fight with bryce about it lol). she gets really clingy and dependent on bryce when he first comes back but it crashes and burns pretty quickly when, during an argument, bryce tells her how much he wishes he could just go back and never have let liam in and forgot about everything… which really sucks for amelia to hear, given that she's part of that everything. after that, with bryce isolating himself, she's kind of reliant on charlotte to keep her going. she blames liam for airy dying and secretly kind of thinks he killed him but just isn't telling them… she also doesn't really believe there's any way of getting out and is just kind of waiting around to die of, like, old age i guess. after how long she's been here, amelia is convinced that she has nothing to even go back to and frequently forgets details about her life. regularly cries and hates being alone. the shift markings on the side of the water tub have changed from being a way to keep track of time and stay sane to a horrible reminder of how long they've been here and how much longer of an eternity they have before them.
bryce: hates himself and liam and airy and the plane and his entire stupid fucking life. bryce is really, really fucking pissed off at liam for losing the notes and letting texty die and every other mistake he's made, and isn't shy about telling him that. as well as being angry, he's also incredibly miserable, because he was finally starting to turn his life around (he quit drinking after the plane) and now it's all for nothing - and even worse, those 7 months he spent getting better were 7 months he did nothing to help the rest of them, especially amelia. he's horribly guilty about that, and that he didn't tell amelia about the fake votes before he was eliminated… but finds it easier to just let liam take the heat for that one at first. after he fights with amelia about it he becomes a bit of a hermit, hanging out by himself next to the plug, and never responds when liam tries to talk. contemplates suicide regularly but pretty much the only option is drowning himself, and the idea of that still scares him more than staying like this forever. would kill for a beer.
liam: tortured by horrible guilt every day over a million different things. these include getting bryce pulled back into this (plus delayed guilt over getting him for real killed), letting texty die and not saying anything about the charger, not telling amelia that everything was fake, knowing that charlotte is going to die if he doesn't get really smart really fast… he's frequently gripped by fits of rage where he almost smashes the computer and has to hobble around outside with the axe for a while to blow off steam. he has really bad nightmares and dissociative episodes, made worse by the isolation and spending hours in a dark cave. liam really wants to fix things with everyone but genuinely has no idea how to start that conversation. he assumes airy killed himself (and views it as an unforgiveably cowardly move) and directs a lot of resentment towards him. he has a lot of things he wants to say, especially to bryce, but the fact that he cant talk to anybody one on one makes things difficult. spends a lot of time just reading through the code, too afraid to actually make any changes in case everyone explodes, but talking it through with charlotte at least makes him feel like he's doing something. more than he would like to admit, liam catches himself staring at the plane as if it's a simulation or a livestream.
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trans-axolotl · 2 months ago
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content note: this post talks about eugenics, incarceration and institutionalization, and violent ableism
tangent from that post because i didn't want to start writing an essay on someone else's post and this is about a conversation i had irl this month, not intended as a reply to that post. but i actually feel very complicated about the idea of whether or not we should be pushing for more "accessibility" in jails and prisons and psych wards and institutions. i put that word in quotes because i don't think there is ever a way that being incarcerated is actually accessible to our bodies and minds; it is a disabling experience on so many levels. i'm not going to list out all the reasons why on this post; i've made so many posts talking explicitly about the harms of institutionalization before and i don't want to do that again right now. Talila Lewis has given several interviews about ableism, incarceration, and disability that are really worth reading and go more in depth into what that violence looks like. Liat Ben Moshe has also given another interview about disability and incarceration that goes over many of the same topics. given that these places are intense sites of violence towards disabled people, it feels difficult for me to claim that they could ever truly be accessible in any meaningful sense of the word.
what's also true right now is that institutions and prisons are incredibly inaccessible for physically disabled people in particular. i've been arrested with a wheelchair, i've been institutionalized with a feeding tube on top of that as well, i've been held on medical floors for psych treatment before, and i know very well exactly how bad it is. i've watched myself and so many other physically disabled people almost die in these places because of sheer neglect. i have physically disabled neighbors who were killed in these places. it is so dangerous for physically disabled people who are locked up in these places, yet at the same time, often psych wards are so inaccessible that physically disabled people just can't even be admitted because wards refuse to take people with mobility aids, medical devices, specific types of medication or care needs, if you have some kinds of terminal illness, and on and on and on.
what's also true is that when these places are so inaccessible that many physically disabled people are excluded and unable to even access them in the first place, it doesn't mean that we then somehow access other types of care instead. it just means that we're also discarded and left to die. this also is a really similar dynamic for a ton of other marginalized groups that get excluded from psych care--many of my comrades who are people of color have also experienced this same type of denial of care. initially i think that can seem like a confusing contradiction--how is it that psych wards are locking up some people up against their will but refusing to take in other people? but when you start thinking about the underlying logic at the core of these systems, it makes sense.
psych wards operate under this idea that madness must be cured by any means possible, up to and including eradication. institutions are a way of disappearing madness from the world--hiding us away so that we don't disturb a sane society, and not letting us free again until we either die in there or are able to appear like we've sufficiently eradicated madness from our mind. preventing physically disabled people from accessing inpatient treatment is operating under the same assumptions--except that this particularly violent convergence of ableism is happy to just let us die, both because it eradicates madness from the world and because they view our lives as unworthy of living in the first place. eugenics is still alive and well in the united states and it's still fucking killing us; both inside institutions and outside of them.
i would never tell someone that they're privileged for getting institutionalized--i think that would be a cruel thing to say to someone who has just survived a lot of violent ableism. and at the same time, our current systems of mental health care are set up in a way where not being able to access inpatient care can be a deadly logistical nightmare. there are some partial hospitalization programs that have such a long waiting list that you can only really get in if you just got an urgent referral because you're getting discharged from inpatient care--how the fuck are physically disabled people supposed to access those programs? if you need meal support for your eating disorder 6 times a day and the only places that offer that are residential treatment in a house with stairs, what the fuck are you supposed to do? if noncarceral outpatient forms of treatment like therapy, support groups, PHP programs, peer support funding, etc etc etc are often prioritizing people who have recently been discharged from inpatient care, how are you supposed to access any type of mental health care at all? (to be clear i know that not all forms of outpatient care operate in this way, but a lot of state run/low cost programs that accept Medicaid/Medicare operate in that way, and i've seen it cause enough barriers that i know this is a very real problem.)
so when i think about what it would take to actually ensure that physically disabled people can access mental healthcare, there's a lot that comes up for me. on one hand, so much of my work is about tearing down institutions and ensuring that no one is forced into these places to face that type of violence. on the other hand, so many physically disabled people need care right now, and we have to figure out some way of making that happen given the current systems we have in place. i will never be okay with just discarding physically disabled people as collateral damage, and any world that we're building needs to be one that embraces disability from the beginning.
i keep thinking about the concept of non-reformist reforms that gets talked about a lot in the prison abolition movement. the idea behind non-reformist reforms is that usually, reforms work to reinforce the status quo. they're usually talked about in liberal language of "improvement" and "human rights", but when it comes down to it, they're still giving more power to harmful institutions and reinforcing state power. an example of a reformist reform is building a new jail that is bigger and has "nicer" services. or when the cops in my city tried to get funding for more wheelchair accessible cop vans. these are reformist reforms because when it comes down to it, it's still giving more money and legitimacy to the prison system and increasing the capacity to keep people locked up--even when people talk about it using language about welfare for prisoners, that's not actually what's happening. having more wheelchair accessible cop vans would be dangerous for the disabled people in my city--it's helped us out a LOT that it's so difficult for the cops to arrest multiple wheelchair users at once.
non-reformist reforms are the opposite of that--they're reforms that work to dismantle systems, redistribute power, and set the stage for more even more dramatic transformations. They're sort of an answer to the question of "what do we do right now if we can't go out and burn down all the prisons overnight?" Examples of a nonreformist reform are defunding prisons, getting rid of paid administrative leave for cops, shutting down old prisons and not building new ones, etc. they're steps we can take right now that don't fully abolish prisons, but still work to dismantle them, rather than making it easier for the system to keep going.
so, when we apply this to the psych system, what are some nonreformist reforms that could help make sure that all disabled people are having their needs met right now? Some ideas I'm having include fixing the problem of PHP/outpatient care requiring referrals from inpatient, increasing the amount of Medicaid/Medicare funding for outpatient mental health care, building physically accessible peer respites that allow caregivers to stay with you if needed, increasing SSI/SSDI to an actually liveable rate, creating more disability specific mental health resources, support groups, care webs, and a million other things we'd probably need to actually get our needs met. non-reformist reforms for people in psych wards right now might look like ensuring everyone has 24/7 access to phones and internet, ensuring that disabled people have access to mobility aids in these spaces, making sure that there's accessible nutrition for people with dietary restrictions and/or feeding tubes, and more.
when i see people saying that we need to ensure that psych wards or prisons are made accessible it makes me feel nervous. i worry that the changes required to do that wouldn't actually provide care to disabled people, i worry it would just make it easier for increasing numbers of disabled people to get locked up and harmed all while people claimed it was a success story of "inclusion." i worry that it would just continue to cement carceral treatment as the only option for existing as a disabled person, and that it would make it harder for us to live in our communities, with the services and adaptations we need. when i think about abolition, i'm always thinking about what can we do right now, what do disabled people who are incarcerated and institutionalized need right now, what can we do right now to ensure that everyone is surviving and getting their needs met. i'm not willing to ignore or discard my incarcerated disabled comrades in the moment because of my dreams for an abolitionist future, i'm always going to support our organizing in these places as we try to survive them.
overall i guess what i'm saying is that i think making inpatient psych care accessible would require dismantling and fundamentally destroying the whole system. I can't imagine a way of doing that within the current system that wouldn't just continue to harm disabled people. and that as a psych abolitionist i think that means we have a responsibility to each other right now to fight for that, to understand that physically disabled people not being able to access mental health care is an incredibly urgent need. I refuse to treat my MadDisabled comrades as disposable: our lives are valuable and worth fighting for.
i'm also going to link to the HEARD organization on this post. They're one of the few abolitionist organizations that does direct advocacy and support for deaf and disabled people in prisons. if you or one of your disabled community members ever gets incarcerated in jail/prison, they have a lot of resources. donate to support their work if you can.
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layuhsblog · 7 months ago
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Hi, I'm not sure if ur still open to requests (I'm so sorry if ur not >_<) but could u do some princess treatment with nct dream bcz I've genuinely just thought of them spoiling their gfs🫶🏻
NCT DREAM GIVING THEIR S/O PRINCESS TREATMENT
its not too princessy and more domestic and 'nct dream as boyfriends'
reqs are still open, ask away babies
idk how to write diff stuff for diff members but i tried and i hope you like it. definitely very fluffy tho. and YEP THEY'RE DEF THE SPOILING THEIR GFS TYPE
warnings: very fluffy, suggestive at some places, very crack, a bit imagine based as well, i think i swore once? i dont remember, some members are too short I'm sorry i was having writers block also ITS LONG.
also cus its so long its unedited.
members drabbles under the cut
Mark:
• I feel like if you're dating Mark, your house will never be quiet, whether its with his chaotic unhinged questions, his jokes, him singing or producing songs or just his playlists playing in the background. especially if you're the type to always need some kind of background noise while doing chores- he'll make you like a thousand playlists for every mood, every chore etc.
He'll even make you a personal playlist with secret songs only meant for you to listen, even if the lyrics are highly unhinged like;
"Yoyo my girls cookin, and she's hella goodlookin yoyo" just for you to laugh at his silly antics even when hes away for too long.
• I dont see him as someone who'll get you flowers cus I feel like he will get sad when they die. He'll stay up at night when youre asleep finding origami videos to make you paper flower bouquets. Each date a different type of flower. Even goes out of his way and googles what flower signifies what feeling, literally befriends a flower shop owner.
• He once called them at 4am to ask what flower means "I'm sorry, I messed up. Please don't break up with me." The phone hung up on his face ofc. Your argument was about mint chocolate and pineapples on pizza. You obviously wouldn't break up with him for that. (He hopes)
•You definitely have a specific closet filled w those paper flowers. He has never given you a handmade bouquet of your favourite flowers cus he plans on doing so when he proposes to you, hiding the ring at the bottom of the bouquet. AHH IM SOFT
•Personal Spotify, he'll sing you to sleep whenever you tell him to, whatever you tell him to.
•You once had an argument with him in public and he asked you how he can make you forgive him so you made him sing 'Welcome to Miami' infront on random strangers
•OH I FEEL LIKE. If you're on a picnic. He would take help from his members (the 127 hyungs. Dreamies are hopeless I'm sorry) and make you both a bento. Imagine your surprise when you opened the picnic basket and saw two lunchboxes one was spiderman and the other was hello kitty.
"Mark, this is so cute. But yknow I like spiderman too right?"
"WAIT WHAT DUDE, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME. YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE? YOUR FAVOURITE SPIDERMAN? OPINION ON NO WAY HOME."
I've said this before and I'll say it again, Mark's the type of boyfriend to snatch a jar from you, tell you he got it and fail miserably. Most of the time when you DO have a problem opening a jar and you go to him..he gulps nervously.
"I, have to go to the bathroom. Be right back."
"Mark- ...you took the jar with you.."
You know where this is going.
"JOHNNY HYUNG, QUICK LOOSEN THIS JAR SO I CAN IMPRESS ____"
"LOOK BABE, I'M SO STRONG."
"Baby, I know you asked Johnny to help. But thankyou! Yes you're very strong."
To sum it up, being with Mark is dorky and comforting and you love that man with all your heart.
Renjun:
•I see Renjun as the type to do princess treatment stuff with you together.
•Like Idk how to explain it- you both spoil eachother. Your nighttime skincare takes you both HOURS because instead of doing like sane people, you do it on EACHOTHER, explaining every step of your routine to the camera (the mirror) in a fake accent.
•If he sees you painting your nails, he gets offended because he's your personal nail tech.
I definitely see him as the type to tell you,
"Gurl, that watermarble is a disaster. Let me do it for you." and he does a better job than you.
"Silly girl, this is why you should always let me do your nails. Don't even bother."
•He's adorable, if its your birthday or you achieved smtn big at a job or at uni he would celebrate it with you. Decorate your room with pink balloons and stuff, get you a tiara and a sash- like a true princess, get you a pretty dress to wear. Click your pics and share it on his close friends story.
You love it. You saved that same tiara for his birthdays and achievements and crowned him your princess. CUTIES
•Allows you to do his makeup while you're sitting on his lap on one condition, you don't click pics.
Once he grows into it though-
"Hey! Blend that foundation properly, my neck and my face are two different shades."
You show your puppy eyes to him he's cracking. Lets you take as many pics as you want, doesn't say shit when you post it. He's soft for you.
•I dont see him as a very verbally expressive partner, he'll show you through his actions, like the one time a family member of yours was very sick and admitted in the hospital while he was on tour.
•You were continuously crying on call and it was late where he was. He knew you had trouble sleeping for a few days as you were staying at the hospital with them. He flew in to surprise you and had a mini date in the hospital cafeteria. He made sure you ate and you both took a walk around the building after dinner as he comforted you and gave you advice on how to deal with everything going on.
He stayed in the room, looking after your family member as you showered and slept soundly after forever. You felt bad as he was jetlagged and tired but he scolded you and forced you to sleep.
You woke up to the sound of the door opening and the nurse greeting your relative the next morning. There was a note propped up on the couch you had slept in,
'Had to fly back baby :( Call me anytime and I'll be there. My girl comes first always, I love you<3'
•Oh your family loves him btw, he had also got a get well soon card and a bouquet for your relative.
You were gonna marry this man, you were sure of it.
•Overall he scolds you when you don't take care of yourself and always puts your needs first before his and trusts you fully to do the same when he needs it, and you will<3
Jeno:
•This is so random, but I really see Jeno as the type of boyfriend who bakes for you?
•its just a you and him thing. When you started dating, you were at his dorm and got hungry and night. So he decided to make you a mugcake? It tasted like rubber but you ate it anyway ans reassured him that it was really good. (It wasn't)
HE WAS DETERMINED TO ACTUALLY LEARN HOW TO BAKE FOR YOU.
•Y'all know that guy on tiktok who bakes for his gf?? THAT'S HIS INSPIRATION RIGHT THERE.
•Experiments each recipe on Jaemin before making you try it. Why do you think Jaemin hates strawberries? Its HIS fault.
•Yknow how...Jeno is so buff and sexy?? His favourite part of going to the gym is sending you post workout bathroom mirror selfies. (YES THAT IS SPOILING. SHUSH)
•He also definitely seems like the type to call you princess. If you hate that nickname? He doesn't care he'll call you anyway cus you ARE his princess. You eventually grow into it.
•Definitely the type to wake up no matter how late it is if you need anything. You're hungry? He's up and running ready to cook, go to the convience store or order food for you. Anything his princess wants. You got your periods? You think he already doesn't have your necessities stacked in the dorm bathroom already? Pads, tampons, everything- even if you're on cups, he'll always keep them ready for emergency purposes and incase the other dreamies have their girls over and they need it. Your bf is a gentleman yes. You love it.
•PASSENGER PRINCESS PRIVILEGE. You'll always be connected to the Bluetooth. You never have to drive ever in your life again. His favourite part of driving is you screaming out the lyrics of ur new favourite songs.
He will never tell you how tired he is of listening to the same song over and over and over again. Even if his ears feel like bleeding from listening to the same song again, he'll hold back his tears and just smile. He loves you but he's not a big fan of your music.
"CUS TONIGHT WILL BE THE NIGHT THAT I WILL FALL FOR YO-"
"For the love of GOD- Y/N IF I HEAR YOU SING THAT EMO ASS SONG ONE MORE TIME I'M ACTUALLY GONNA RIP MY HAIR OFF."
"You're so quiet babe, what's up?"
"Huh, nothing... just focusing on the road.. You keep singing, I love your voice hehe."
•Yknow how much it annoys him, youre testing his patience to see when he'll tell you to stop. He wont tho babe, he's getting tortured, stop please. (I unironically love that song)
Haechan:
•I think he's the most princess to ever princess which is why he's perfect at giving princess treatment.
•Also hes very clingy, wont leave you alone for even a minute.
•One time you were cutting fruit with a new knife you had just bought and cut your finger on it. He was so annoying with it;
"NOOO MY BABY GOT AN OUCHIE! NO DON'T TOUCH IT. I'LL GET A BAND-AID. DON'T MOVE."
"Hyuck, its just a small c-" He pecks your lips to shut you up and runs to his room. He runs back and to your surprise shows you a hello kitty band-aid. You laugh at that to which he pouts and claims that "it hurts less with this specific one"
Doesn't even let you wash the cut yourself. He washes it for you, puts antiseptic and lastly puts the bandaid on your finger.
He proudly admires his work and when you thank him he "kisses your ouchie" to which you cringed out for a solid five minutes.
•He's the type to say, "I GOT IT" to everything you're about to do.
Opening a jar? He's got it. Opening your apartment door after a date? GASP YOU JUST GOT A MANICURE, HE'LL DO IT. Reaching for the shelf to grab a mug? He's got his Johnny hyung to get it for you cus he can't reach it either.
•He absolutely thinks it's his job to make you laugh. You literally cannot laugh at another guy's jokes now. Mark is an exception tho, he'll fite you for Mark. How dare you not laugh at a stupid joke Mark made.
•Speaking of fite, He'll let you win all playfights. This is how you know shit is srs between y'all. Haechan is competitive. But he'll let you win. I know its an unpopular opinion.
•Especially if you don't have much in common with Haechan and start showing interest in gaming and ask him to teach you, he'll go very easy on you. Yknow, set his pride aside, let you win a lot of games before actually becoming competitive with you as well. Still he won't ever admit it even years after being together- if you have a particularly bad day, he would let you and not make it very obvious, even if you call him names and make fun of him for being a loser, he'll just have a lovesick smile on his face and stars in his eyes as you're doing a dorky winner dance for beating him.
The 127 boys are very proud of their maknae, he's surely grown a lot. You're both still incredibly immature but they love you together.
•Oh the only down side is you're always competing with Renjun.
"Blink twice if you love Renjun and Mark more than me"
*blinks twice*
"We're done."
"NO. I LOVE THEM BUT I ALSO LOVE YOU. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE PLEASE."
•You love him too much to get mad at the fact that he still didnt choose you
Jaemin:
here we go..
my bias wrecker.
•YOU CANNOT DENY He's going to be the best boyfriend ever.
•You want to put ribbons on him? he bought you those himself. the pinkest of pink ribbon for you to tie his hair, biceps, _anything_ with.
•He loves making you flustered.
•Will check up in you every second of the day.
"Did you eat yet? Slept properly? Drink enough water?"
•Nags at you like a mother.
•If you're studying for exam or just working from home in general he'll pop up to check in on you every five minutes with coffee, freshly cut up fruits, chocolates etc.
•If you're too busy to eat, he will pull a chair and sit beside you, stare at you while you work and feed you occassionally.
•When you're tired he'll give you a massage and draw you a pretty bath with rose petals and scented candles and stuff.
•He cannot say no to your puppy eyes. He loves cats but you're the reason he has three.
•Also the type to get jealous of the cats, AND you if you're not giving him attention. He doesnt know whether he wants to be at your place or the cats'.
•HE COOS AT YOU. A LOT. ANYTHING YOU DO. "AIGOOO MY BABY IS SO ADORABLE *insert incoherent wooing noises as he pulls your cheeks* and you're just there like- '🧍😀'
•If you're on a date, you don't even have to ask. He'll already have his camera ready, suggest you cute poses and click pictures for your Instagram. He'd stay up late to edit them himself.
When you're with Na Jaemin you cannot have a blank looking Instagram.
•Overall hes the sweetest and absolutely adorable but he also has a babygirl to take care of. (He himself is a babygirl)
Chenle:
•Oh hes SPOILING and hes SPOILING BADDDD
•Another one to call you princess.
•I saw a reel of him asking his nephew for a kiss before handing him money. THAT'S SO ADORABLE OH MY GOD MY HEART HE'LL DO THAT WITH YOU TOO.
•Even if you're not the type to accept gifts or ask for money he'll MAKE SURE you get used to it because he JUST LOVES SPOILING HIS PRINCESS
•If you're going for a spa or to get your nails done or any type of self care activity and you DONT ask him to pay, he gets mad. he'll sulk, wont talk to you.
"What's the point of being born in a rich family and working hard to earn a living if my girlfriend doesnt want to spend my money?😔"
"CHENLE, I CAN BUY MY OWN GUM FOR GOD'S SAKE. HOW BROKE DO YOU THINK I AM?"
•He loves you so much. Every night when he does his skincare, you're sitting on the bathroom sink and hes doing your skincare as well.
•Another nagger who will ensure you're hydrated and wellfed, keeps track of your period.
"Hello?"
"Open the door, I know you're on your period, I got you heatpacks, pads and chocolates. Let's watch Hamilton and cuddle."
"Lele, marry me."
"Pick your diamond, baby."
AAAAHHH I AM GOING FERAL.
•But, we all know chenle is so much more than just a rich guy, he'll sing you to sleep and stroke your hair whenever you're stressed
•He may be mean and nagging and annoying sometimes but hes such a huge huge softie for you its crazy. Everytime you walk into the room, its all music and wind blowing and time slowing for him. Cliche lover boy and I'm here for it.
•He loves you so much, if you pout at him he'll be on his knees at your service doing anything and everything you tell him to...even aegyo.
"HEY YOU TOLD ME TO DO AEGYO, YOU CANNOT CRINGE OUT NOW. I'M CUTE!!"
Jisung:
•MY BOY PAINTS YOUR NAILS FOR YOU, MESSILY
•He also tries to learn how to cook for you. The first time he cooked, the food tasted like dish soap cus he thought vegetables had to be cleaned with soap.
•Eventually gets better and cooks very comforting meals. They taste like home, you love it. Yknow the type of food that's not too fancy but its warm and make your heart feel full.
•Thats also what loving him would feel like. He wouldn't go OUT and extreme but whatever he does is warm and fills your heart with love for him more everyday.
•Occasional flowers, gets you chocolates/cookies/ice cream everytime you hang out.
•Lot of movie dates, he'll always let you pick the movie. You'll always be the small spoon
•Oh he always pulls your chair at a restaurant. Also has a habit of putting his hand under your shirt and just holding your stomach when cuddling, makes him feel closer to you. Same with hugging, when you hug his hand peeks under your shirt so hes touching your bare back. It's nothing sexual, it's just intimate.
•He would always purposefully leave his hoodies at your place so you dont have to steal them. He's too shy to admit he left them on purpose. Also does it cus if you stole his hoodie, his poor heart wouldn't be able to handle it. It would probably combust into flames.
"You forgot your hoodie at my place."
"Oh shit, well its okay, you can take it. I don't wear it much anyways." and you're just there thinking,
'That's your favourite hoodie man, you'd rot in it if you could.' You don't tease him about it though. Its cute to you that he trusts you with his favourite hoodie.
•He's the type to be jealous of your plushies but then would also go out of his way to buy more for you. He gets sad if you buy new ones.
In his logic, if he buys them for you, he's the father and the kids will be loyal and know their place. But if you buy them, they'll be too greedy to share you with him. Oh please, he talks to trees don't tell me things like these wouldn't cross his mind.
•He loves it when you ask him to pay for dinner cus you usually split the bill. He realised he loves it a BIT TOO MUCH, makes him feel all alpha-protecter, big boy and would start demanding that he pays for dates more often.
Unlike Chenle he's cool with it if you don't like it, he'll turn it down a notch.
•He just wants you to be comfy and he'll always stick to his boundaries while also keeping an eye on you, making sure you're okay, comfortable and happy with him.
-
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bougiebutchbinch · 2 months ago
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Okay so Wade is a pillow princess, right?
It's not that he gets The Ick from touching his partners - it's just, well, he's very sensitive and very... erogenous. Once he's in the mood, it's soooo hard to concentrate on anything but his own pleasure. Inevitably, he finds himself tipping his head back and whimpering as he soaks through his panties, legs shaking, toes curled tight.
So, he figures, he should probably get his partners off before he gets his jollies, since he'll go all fuck-limp and useless, and start pulling stupid ahegao faces as soon as he gets turned on. He doesn't especially enjoy pleasuring people. It's a bit of a chore, truth be told. But he loves his partners, so he's happy to get them off before sitting hopefully on the bed and waiting for his turn!
Then Logan comes along.
Logan who, when Wade (internally sighing, hoping he can get Logan to cum fast so they can skip to the good part) goes to unzip his costume... pushes Wade away.
"No," he growls.
Wade double-blinks. "Uh. Did I misread some signs here?"
He could've sworn his Peanut was down to bump uglies - with one, admittedly, being far uglier than the other.
Logan looks... well, gruffly uncomfortable. But that's how Logan looks around him 90% of the time, so there's no telling if Wade overstepped. He folds his arms and glowers like he expects Wade to manifest telepathy and figure out what's got his jockstrap in a twist.
Wade backs off, raising his hands. "Look, I'm not gucci to rub coochies if you're not. Safe and sane, I'm willing to overlook, but it's gotta be enthusiastically consensual, and I'm really not getting the 'enthusiastic' part - "
"Don't touch me," says Logan, cutting him off.
Wade... blinks some more. "Like, in a sexy way, or in general? Because, pookums, I know I'm amazing, but even I might struggle to flick your bean without getting hands - or tongue - on..."
Logan... is he... flushing? His frown deepens, in counterpoint. "I don't want that."
"Okay..." This is gonna be as difficult as putting on his monthly flea powder, isn't it? Luckily, Wade is a diligent cat-owner. He put up scratching poles and everything (though Logan tore them out and tossed them at his head). Still, Wade wants to handle this properly. He flops cross-legged on the bed, very zen, and pats the space beside him. Logan sits, stiff, glaring at his lap. "What do you want, then?"
It takes Logan another minute to reply, sneering, bushy brows furrowing at the centre of his forehead. But when he speaks, there's a tentative edge to his voice, like he's expecting rejection. "I - I don't like being touched. Sexually. Doesn't feel good. To me."
Oh, Wade could cheer! They're getting somewhere!
"Cool! Do you mean you don't like getting off? Or like, are there just certain places you don't wanna be touched, or is it a total embargo - "
Wade's trans, too, after all. He might enjoy having his innies played with, but he knows the same doesn't go for every guy like them.
"No touching," Logan reiterates. The sharp tone makes Wade's mouth snap shut - especially when Logan glances to the door. Like, if Wade says the wrong thing (as he so very often does) Logan will bolt. "I... I top. Exclusively. No exceptions. And I don't get touched. If I get off, I'll jerk off on you. You... you keep your wandering fucking hands to yourself."
"...So, you're stone?"
It's Logan's turn to look confused. "A... stone?"
"God, you're old. We can get you up to speed on your lingo later, sweetcheeks."
Logan studies him with narrowed eyes, for far too long - until Wade fights the urge to shift uncomfortably, wishing he could pull on his mask without being too fucking obvious. That's the other problem with being the ugliest pillow princess in all of Disney. Who would want to see him feel pleasure? Who would want to take the time to finish him off?
More than once, after all, Wade's been with someone who let him give them an orgasm, then recoiled at the thought of reciprocating, as soon as they caught sight of his cunt. Which, knowing what it looks like - all scars and ooze and open sores... Yeah, Wade can't exactly blame them.
But he still wants.
Stupidly.
Pathetically.
"You're... okay with this?" says Logan. "You're not gonna, I dunno, try shit? Make me like it?"
Aw. Wade wants to personally hunt down and execute anyone who made his kitten so suspicious. "More okay than you can imagine," he says, forcing a smile. "And I'm not gonna make you do anything, pudding-pop! B-but. Are you really okay? With... with not getting anything out of this? I mean, if you're being forced to put up with this..." A gesture down at himself; a self-depracating laugh. "I figured you'd want me to get you off in payment, somehow."
Logan's expression softens from the usual cagey look, forming into something far warmer. "I ain't putting up with anything, bub."
Well, now he's just sending mixed signals. "You mean... we aren't going to fuck?"
Logan puts his hand on Wade's shoulder. Wade tenses, expecting claws - but Logan only pushes him back, back, until his spine hits the mattress.
"Oh," he says, nudging Wade's legs apart. They fall open, far too easy, and Wade would be embarrassed if Logan didn't notice, one corner of his mouth flicking up in this unbearably sexy little smirk. "I'm gonna fuck you. But I ain't gonna be gritting my teeth and putting up with shit, okay? Ain't nowhere else on this world I wanna be; ain't no one else I wanna be with." His hand cups Wade's bare, scarred cheek. His green eyes are unbearably tender - Wade tries to meet them, but has to glance aside. "Fuck's sake. I want you, idiot."
"Oh," says Wade. It comes out far squeakier than he intended. "Okay. Very, very okay..."
Logan rolls his eyes and, finally, shuts him up with a kiss.
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badlydrawnronpa · 4 months ago
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hi anon ty for sending the message! I did look through their blog and they very obviously use AI - I would've published the ask normally to let other people know but I decided against it in the end because after a closer inspection I noticed that all commissions are fake (besides being fake art I mean) and they're not actually scamming anyone because. uh. literally most of the blogs I saw interact with them are empty rp blogs that are blatantly controlled by them and one of the commissions I saw on their patreon was for a defunct ohsc rp blog from 2014??? Which honestly was really funny.
so yeah, they're very much not pulling any money from that, and on top of it all they posted pics of themselves sooooo yeh, not going to blast them on a blog with a big following for trying the 'i dont use ai im a real artist' but ultimately not scamming anyone out of their money. They're also not the best at like... hiding they're using AI because you can see their traditional art in other posts, and the style or experience level doesn't match at all.
I will post some of their AI stuff underneath the read more and point out the inconsistencies tho, to help out other people in spotting out ai shit (esp non artists that might have an harder time figuring things out). If you find out the original user that posted these, please don't harass them, be civil.
BTW I'M SAYING THIS NOW: if you see something I point out and say ''ah, I do that, I'm in trouble" - no you're not, if you actually draw the stuff yourself. You can see when an artist's work (and mistakes!) are genuine. Beginner's mistakes can be made by experienced artists too, but if you look at their entire body of work you can see when something doesn't add up.
to start off, I saw anon calling them out on this one so I'm just reiterating some of the points, but here's some junko 'art' they made
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when confronted abt it, they said that the fingers look weird because they can't control their shaky hands and drawing small is hard. anyway if you draw digitally you can zoom in on the canvas and work on a detail as big as you need, so that excuse doesn't hold
this other post was basically what made me just say 'yep thats ai' and it was just the second 'art' post I saw from them
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while taken alone they could've been a little harder to spot as AI, with them all bundled together you can easily see they came from the same prompt; the user tried to justify the inconsistencies saying it was because they were 'experimenting' with the design of their oc and gundham's scar but I'm telling you now, no sane artist fully renders four pieces that are basically the same concept while changing the design of the character just slightly in every single one of them. anyway, here's the breakdown of every piece:
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another that was way easier to break down because it's so full of inconsistencies the moment you really take a look at it
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also let's be real if you render art like that you're not gonna put a bright purple unreadable text on your supposed vtuber "art"
let's end this with the AI "commission" that could be harder to break down as AI if seen in a vacuum now, shall we? esp because our friend, the fucked up melty finger, isn't there
I honestly had to look for a while at this one because if you had shown it to me and I didn't see the other stuff this person posted, I could've just chalked up a lot of these mistakes to human error. Tangents between lines, scribbles for details, forgotten uncolored sections is all normal stuff. BUT we know this person used AI in all the other posts, so we know what to look at:
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again, some mistakes the AI does can be also mistakes actual artists do: be sure to check the other art the user makes before throwing accusations
they also posted a fake speedpaint that is so embarassing it made me laugh but if I start pointing out inconsistencies in an AI speedpaint we're gonna be here for a long time, so.
TL;DR AI 'ART' SIGNS:
The classics: hands and fingers don't make sense, there's additional weird lines and they melt into other part of the drawing
long hair strands and other long or flowy elements can suddenly disappear behind objects and not reappear where they should
jewels, intricate details, hairpins and other accessories bend and melt into each other and other part of the design
the resolution of the image is very low and/or grainy - a lot of artists post lower res pieces online, but again: look for a pattern and combos of all the other signs
inconsistencies between multiple art posts, character designs constantly being different, sudden art style changes - while this can also be found with real artists, this is an additional tell of someone using AI, when combined with the stuff I mentioned above. humans mistakes usually have a reason for what they happen, AI makes them because it doesnt understand what it's doing most of the time
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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year ago
Text
Just Friends (König x F!Reader)
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How to Get Her Back 4/4 (Word count 7.3 k)
Summary: König is a horny, creepy killing machine obsessed with a shy, kind reader who has a raging knife kink.
Tags/warnings: 🔞 Eventual smut, eventual violence, angst, dark romance, canon divergence. Crack treated seriously. Yandere undertones, implied stalking, panty stealing, major character death, size kink, voyeurism, possessive sex, twisted, fluffy feelings. Loner boy/gentle girl dynamic. Protective!Obsessive!Top!König. Reader works as a cleaner at the base. She is described to have hair and prefers to wear dresses off work. Not safe or sane but mostly consensual.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The knife still juts from the table.
She touches it often, fondles the handle like it's her lover.
Days pass, and König escapes her stare with raised shoulders and poorly disguised hurt in his eyes. She feels his eyes on her every single time she's not looking.
He breaks into her room every night, but she never wakes up to his presence. The only thing that tells her the man's been there are the fresh flowers on her table next to the knife.
He brings her flowers every morning, just like he promised, and she keeps the blade there to remind him that he's still in her heart. It's like a silent conversation, and it stabs her stomach full of pain.
On the fourth day, he returns her panties. They're covered in dried cum, and at first, it makes her feel disgusted. Then her heart flutters, a warm feeling settles deep inside her stomach when she imagines him jerking himself off to her underwear amidst his knives, with despair and longing coating the air.
For anyone else, it might be a chilling thing to wake up to: to open eyes to the sight of a brutal tactical knife, freshly picked forget-me-nots and some cum-stained lace. But for her, it's a loving attempt to remind her who she belongs to. It's also a sign that the man is trying to let her go and finally obey her wishes to be left alone.
And she doesn't want to be left alone.
He promised she would never be alone.
On the fifth day, there's no flowers, there's nothing. She starts her day with a horrible, awful bawl. Then she puts on a black dress. It makes her look odd, like she's in mourning, but it also gives her… power, somehow. Even if it's another cute kind of cotton babydoll dress, it makes her look more austere.
“König, wait.”
She chases him down this time: runs to his retreating form that stops the instant she calls his name. He’s tense when she walks the last steps to him and hugs him from behind. The familiar scent of tea tree and gasoline and sweat and guns bring a visceral memory of madness to her mind. It’s an ambrosia of crude virility, and she's missed him, God, that she's missed him.
It's also safety. Because no matter what anyone says, he is the only one who knows her, sees her, sees right into her core, her very soul.
He slowly places a hand on hers, the arms that embrace his narrow, treelike middle.
"Engel…"
The voice comes out tight and strained. He caresses her hand with hesitation and swallows.
"I'm confused.. I don't know what you want me to do."
"Come with me," she whispers in his back. He has no gear on, and she can feel his abs through the black shirt, the way his shoulder blades flare against her cheek with shallow breaths. "If you want…?"
"Ganz sicher."
She takes him by the hand and guides him to her room. People look at them with pity and dread, and she feels like they’re in high school where people were divided into groups of popular and unpopular.
She knows where she and König would’ve belonged. Where they belonged now…
And she just doesn't care anymore.
When the door to her room shuts behind him, she feels a little tug near her heart. She had nearly forgotten how big König looks inside her little room, the space she has tried to turn into a cozy home even though she doesn't view the base as her home like the soldiers do. It's just a place for her to reside in when she's working.
But he does not fit into a normal society like she does. The base must be the closest thing to a home for him. Not every elite soldier is a lunatic perhaps, but König certainly couldn't find any other job in the modern world that would cater to his needs without sending him behind bars.
But he was supposed to kill only in the field. Only somewhere far, far away.
Why did you do it?
Why…?!
That's what she meant to ask when they're behind closed doors, but something quite different comes out instead.
"Did you miss me…?"
She stands before him, holding her hands in front of her, looking probably quite silly clad in black.
"I've been in hell ever since I left, Engel."
Christ have mercy…
Normal men just didn't talk like that.
"Will you forgive me?" He looks her up and down, but the calm, proud posture, the way he holds his chin high behind that dark shroud tells her he's not used to begging. She has a feeling that this question is asked only because Soap suggested it would be a good idea to apologize for making her so upset.
"It's not me you should be–" She sighs. "Look… That man had a wife. König, I think he had a kid and everything."
His eyes are covered in a veil of disinterest only she can pierce. There's actually so much going on behind that odd, distanced stare. But what’s horrifying is that he clearly doesn’t agree with her on this matter.
"I kill people every week," he declares. "Just not in the break room."
His logic leaves her wordless for a moment. The officer was not an enemy, he was not part of some foreign military, his only crime was that he was in a hurry…
She has barely even opened her mouth to speak before he finally defends himself.
"How do you know his wife is not secretly happy with the news?"
The question is like a bucket of ice dipped in her head. She had prepared herself for almost anything but this. König only tilts his head and narrows his stare.
"Would you want to be wife to that kind of man?"
Her mouth opens on its own; her jaw would fall to the floor if it could do such a thing. His worldview unfolds before her in full, and it should disgust her: but all she feels is an odd thrill in her stomach from realizing this man is not only possessive; he's also fiercely traditional.
"He just spilled some coffee on me," she whispers in soft, tender horror. "He just happened to have a bad day."
"How many times a week did he have a bad day?"
The defense is solid, even if it's preposterous. The man was rude and disrespectful, yes. To everyone, every day, probably continued the abuse at home, too. But he didn't deserve to be killed for it. Still, König doesn't seem to find any fault in his way of thinking.
"I can tell when people are evil," he crosses his arms over his chest as a final note.
Evil…
Evil.
She's left blinking, then she finds her tongue again.
"You can't just… deal punishment like that," she huffs.
"Why not?"
Jesus Christ…
His arms are still over his chest, and he looks… so big, so powerful, like an omnipotent being.
Probably thinks he is.
"Will you go to jail?" She changes the subject because arguing with this kind of man seems futile. Downright hopeless.
"No," he says with perpetual calm. "Would you want to see me in jail?"
"...No."
He finally unravels his arms and takes a few steps toward her. That swaying lounge is intoxicating and seductive, even when he doesn't mean it as such. It's just the way he walks, but it makes her woozy.
"Engel. You are too… kind for this world."
More odd arguments are laid out before her, more confusion and love and pain. He raises a hand to touch her arm and make his point clear. The weight of him is heavy and adult, his military clothing is in blaring contrast to her tiny, childish dress.
"You don't understand it now, but perhaps someday you will."
The man looks like he doesn't quite know what to do with her. She's a child in his eyes, but something in this lunacy tells her she's dealing with a child, too: a boy who no one ever loved.
"My little angel. Always wearing pretty dresses," he says more softly now.
"I'm not an angel."
"Yes you are," he rules without effort. "And you look good in everything. But you shouldn't wear black."
"Why not…?"
"Because you belong with flowers."
Her heart aches, her eyes prick with burning tears. He's self-aware, that's for sure. He knows what he has done to her, what he is doing to her. And he wishes to spare her from him.
"I thought you liked black," she peeps, her mind and will and defense breaking.
He doesn't say anything, but his hand brushes down her cheek, then cups her chin softly. That same hand must be ironclad when it grips his enemies and brings them to his blade.
"I like this dress," she tries to quarrel, voice shaking.
"And I know a knife that would go perfectly with it."
His eyes are warm. There's even a passing sadness in them. She's relatively sure that he's not talking about butterfly knives any longer – she's almost certain that König hasn't gifted his weapons to any other human being on this earth.
“How about we take off that pretty little dress now, hmm?”
The time for the compulsory explanations is over in his mind, and it’s time for sex. He knows that his exile has ended, that whatever liminal space they walked in for a few days wasn’t enough to rid herself of him. There’s no turning back anymore, and he looks at her with amused hunger when she obeys his suggestion which is, in truth, a command.
Her fingers do not shake anymore as she undresses for him, but a shiver goes through her guts: that stare is a look from beyond. He’s a madman, and falling more in love with her every day, even if the only way he knows how to love is by stabbing people with his cock or his knife.
“Lie down,” he gives her more orders when she stands before him with nothing on.
It’s futile, completely futile to pretend that she doesn’t want this. It’s almost like an act, the way she slowly and demurely obeys his command. In reality, she wants nothing more than to be devoured by him.
He takes his clothes off while she waits for him on the bed like an injured bird. He rips, then throws his gloves off like they have done something naughty, all the while his gaze is fixed on her. She has missed the sight of that faint hair on his abs, missed that broad chest, missed how his muscles bunch even when he gets out of a shirt that weighs practically nothing in his hands.
The long, veined cock flies out from his pants with a demanding bounce that makes her swallow. They form an odd pair on the floor: her little dress and his huge woodland camos. His eyes are surrounded in black paint under the eternal mask, but otherwise, he's the palest man she has ever seen.
Her breasts rise and fall with aroused breaths as he settles himself beside her, naked and blazing. His cock is pure fire when it gets trapped between them, and he's already drooling hot precum on her thigh.
He's gentle, kind of. Slides a hand over her shivering stomach, palms one breast, then takes a nipple between his fingertips and gives her a pinch.
“Did you miss me too?”
The hood makes him look like a hangman, and he’s infuriatingly patient now. She expected him to rail her like a sex toy right after the door was closed.
"Yes."
He releases her, and the callous descends with a gentle, deliberate caress to her waist.
"Then you're the first who ever did."
She just might be the first woman he's gentle with, too, and she cannot help but think if it's because of what she said just before he killed that poor man. If the last piece of the puzzle locked in place when he realized how much she admired him. If her confession also made him stake his claim in the loudest possible way, announcing everyone that he's her protector.
It's not her fault that the man's dead, but she should be ashamed: she's wet already when the murderer's fingers delve further down to meet her folds. He disappears somewhere in her wetness, and her thighs rise and drift apart to give him full access.
And it's always like this: she spreads legs for him with a helpless, longing stare, he takes in what belongs to him with dark, pleased hunger.
He finds her clit in no time, drags his thumb over it, and she gasps. Her breaths come quick now, her nipples are shot to the sky and her back is already arching when he delves down and slides one finger inside. It's long and lean, and her cunt grips him like they have been apart for four weeks instead of four days.
He sighs under the mask, just from her greedy response. She wants to touch him too, but doesn't dare to move when he's looking at her like that. He starts to finger her gently, first with one, then two digits while attending to the tight nub on top. And he's good with a knife, quick with his hands, so what did she expect?
But she’s also sad and mad. Because he definitely knows what he’s doing. And it makes her think…
"Have you had a lot of women..?"
Her question is a mouse's whisper. His fingers halt inside her; they spread her with delicious torture.
"A few," he says. "Back in Austria."
He buries his face in her neck and nuzzles his way to her ear. The bag of darkness is soft and hot, but nothing compared to his heated whisper.
"But they were nothing like you."
He punctuates the declaration by curling the fingers inside her. She bites her lip to stifle a filthy, needy moan. He even grinds his hips against her: that cock is like a heated spear against her soft thigh, and more cum oozes out to trickle down her leg.
"How many men have had you, Engel?"
He doesn't ask: how many men has she had. She may not be his plaything, but she is his possession. In his mind, she belongs to him and only him, no matter who has come before. But the murderous passion with which he waits for her answer makes her flustered, and she bolts her mouth tight in an indication that she will not disclose this information.
"Gut. Don't tell. I would kill them all."
Oh.
Oh…
"Would you like that…?"
"No," she whimpers.
"Yes you would."
“I don’t–I don't want you to–”
“Shh.”
He’s working those fingers smooth and quick, and she’s already leaking on his hand, probably on the bed, too… The room is filled with sighs and whimpers and sobs as he fucks her with slick, wet sounds. She's close the edge in mere minutes, but he won’t let her finish.
Instead, he pulls out just when she's about to tighten around him.
"Why-why did you stop?"
"Angel... Take me in your mouth," he rasps, breathless too despite trying to disguise it. She briefly wonders if this is some sort of a punishment. That perhaps she’s ordered to give him a blowjob just when she’s about to come – after all, she has dared to keep him waiting for days.
But that’s not the case, it seems, as she moves with heavy limbs to fulfill his wish.
"Nein… Other way around. I want to taste you."
The perverse suggestion in the break room turns into a reality as she realizes what he wants to do. Her heart is pounding when she crawls on top of him to meet that leaking cock. How exactly is that thing even going to fit inside her mouth?
A sudden shyness takes her as her thighs are forced into a wide-legged spread from straddling the broadest man on earth. She's exposed to the cold air only for a second before his breath hits her. The shortest shadow of a stubble on that usually clean-shaven chin meets her soaked cunt with hunger.
“Ah… Take it– in your mouth,” he moans orders to her folds, and her cunt clenches immediately, just from hearing that accent and that voice.
She moves to give him a shy lick, sweeps a tongue over that tip to clean him from all that precum. He goes tense under her and breathes heavily when she wraps her hand around him, wraps her mouth around the weeping slit.
He tastes of salt and sin, and the minute she tries to take more of him in, he groans with a dry throat. It's a hot, broken breath that travels straight inside her. It’s too much – the position is far too stimulating, it’s over the top wicked.
And then he starts to lick her. It messes up the blowjob that has barely even started. She knows his hood must be almost completely off, otherwise he wouldn't be able to breathe.
"Take a bit more, Engel," he urges between the long slathers that already sound lewd. There's simply no way to take it fully in, he’s far too long for that. The last thing she wants to do is gag on him. But she does a good enough job, tries to concentrate on breathing through her nose as she goes as deep as she can.
"That's…more like it…"
It’s a relieved notion somewhere behind her before he continues with the agonizingly slow licks. Fat and flat-tongued, the work of a famished man. For someone who's so clumsy with social interaction, he’s infuriatingly good at giving pleasure to women. The tip of his tongue grazes her clit, and causes a muffled moan – her mouth is full of him but she just cannot help herself.
And arms of steel close around her middle the minute she whimpers on his cock. They pull her closer to his face – he wants to hear her make noise, then, and her will to compete arises. She wants to make him moan too. She ups the pace, flattens her tongue on him every time she retreats…
"Where did you learn to–nnh…"
She nearly laughs at his surprise, at their silly little competition. He's shocked, probably jealous too, of her past and the imagined cavalcade of men who may or may not have been inside her mouth before him. She swirls a tongue around the tip every now and then, wraps her lips tight around him, and goes even deeper.
"Verdammte Scheiße.. I'm not going to last long…"
Strong thighs around her power up, and he has stopped licking her altogether: he's just panting in her pussy and holding on to her hips while waiting for the upcoming wave.
"You know what to do, ja?" He pants that question like she doesn't know he's about to shoot a load on her tongue soon.
"Don't make a mess," he shares advice with a sly tone to his voice. "Unless you want to clean after…"
He gives a short laugh as if the joke is funny. As if that's a clever thing to say to a cleaning lady. It makes her grip him harder, and he's close, so close: he's not even moving anymore, everything's just completely rigid under her body and inside her mouth.
"I'm fucking–cumming…"
He spills with a long groan, moans against her cunt, cries inside her with pain. The seed is hot and heavy, it shoots right down her throat even in this position. She does the best she can to not make that mess, but it's hard work when a giant cock pulses in her mouth.
"You're perfect, angel," he sighs behind her, tries to feed more of himself inside her mouth by rolling his hips.
The praise makes her pump and suck him even more, get every last drop out, and a tremble goes through her lover. She has to take support from the bed until the earthquakes recede. His cock is a clean mess after, and she's a mess too: overworked, and shy, and victorious.
They're both left panting: she tries to catch some breath there between his thighs after everything, but she's not allowed to rest and recover. The grip around her middle pulls her back, and a breathless man trying to lick her like it's the end of the world is not only far too much, it's unbearable. She's already overly sensitive and needy from the four days of barren grief.
"It's too much…" She tries to tell him, but he won't listen. If anything, it only spurs him on.
"König, I can't," she wails softly while resting her head on his thigh.
"Yes you can."
A feverish tongue dips inside her as deep as it goes. It forces her legs apart, she spreads herself all over his face completely unwillingly. There's no mercy for her as he flicks a tongue over her clit, plunges a tongue inside her as deep as it goes, returns to the nub again – does it again and again and again like it's some secret code meant to break her.
"You like that, huh?" His rough voice is muffled by her cunt, he sounds both parched and wet.
"Hm? Talk to me," he demands an answer although it should be obvious that she's losing her mind from his treatment.
"Yes," she mewls while being spread so crudely wide for him. "I… I love it…"
"Hah. You sound like a little cat," he laughs, pleased, then gets to it again. She's so close now that she can feel the growing waves. Her thighs are not just shaking, they're trembling.
"So pretty and so wet," he comments between the licking and dipping, voice covered with smoke from all the lust. And he's hard again, too: right next to her face, and she could cry actual tears – what if he plans on fucking her too after this? It's too much, she can't even take this, she can't…
But she does.
Her back starts to arch just before the orgasm. She's not weeping yet, but every noise she makes sounds like she's crying her heart out.
"Slow down, slow–down, please…"
She's a one-woman choir of tight pleas. She tries to muffle them by burying her face somewhere in his thighs and musk. The tongue dips in and out like he's a machine and not a man, and the first wave hits unexpectedly, like a searing, white-hot blade.
"A–ah!"
The climax swallows her, she starts grinding against that face without meaning to. He only laughs and buries his nose and tongue deeper into her slickness. The arms around her hold her like iron bars, his breaths hit her along with his tongue like she's strapped to a torture device.
Her cunt is sloppy, and throbbing, and he is a torturer, licks her even when she's lying on top of him in ruin: a devastated, trembling heap of a woman who's lost everything.
"Stop–König, you need to stop…"
Her weak whispers do nothing. His tongue sweeps her from front to back until she's crying on top of him. Frail fingers try to claw his thighs but grasp nothingness.
When he finally relents, he does it with another laugh. Then he gives her a last lick: a total bully, snorts a chuckle when a tremble goes through her entire body from just that single, fat sweep.
"Mmm. That was good. Right?"
"M–mh…"
There are tears in her eyes, but not one comes out. Her pussy throbs and winks with the aftershocks, and his hand moves up and down her back like she's that little cat.
"You're mean," she sobs. Complains.
"Heh… you didn't like it?"
"I did," she sniffs, and his hand moves to caress her thigh.
"I know you did. I know you. Everything about you."
He sounds merciful at last, pats her leg softly.
"Come here. I'll take care of you."
When she turns and crawls back to him, his mask is fully in place. He receives her with open arms and speaks more softly than ever.
"I have to take care of you after. Isn't that so?"
"Yes…"
She holds onto him, because he's the only thing that's solid in her world at this point. His aftercare is the most tender thing she has ever known: her hair is being caressed gently, the tension in her neck and back is soothed with long, loving strokes. He buries his mask in her hair and inhales her after-sex scent like it's a whole offering of incense.
"Angel. You feel like… like it's my birthday."
His statement brings another round of tears to her eyes. Instinct tells her that birthdays might've been the only happy days of the year for this man.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?"
He sounds worried when she's so quiet and timid again. Her heart settles slowly into a warm pool of love, she presses herself against him with fervor, and he squeezes her in turn like she's the most perfect birthday present ever.
"No."
I really needed that.
I need you…
"I will never let you go again," he promises. "Never. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she whispers. "I don't– I don't want you to go."
"Little one. I'm so glad I found you."
He takes her palm and uses it to brush away the hood from his lips. The violent edge is always taken away after sex, and the devouring is gentle, the passion is blunt. His kiss is soft; sweet.
"König…" She's raw and bare in his arms, her adoration reflects back to her from his blues. "Why did you pick me?"
"You're the one who picked me, Engel. I just answered your call."
He takes in the effect this truth has on her, then takes her breath away with another kiss. A small giggle erupts in the lazy afternoon as he threatens to crush her with a bear hug. Her hand steals its way further under the mask: she meets smooth skin and a collection of even smoother bumps.
"Why can't I see your face..?"
"It's not a pretty sight," he sighs. "Father liked to cut me when I was little."
The laziness leaves her body that very instant. The man is detached, distant: as if he's sharing something trivial, the city he grew up in or his favorite subject in school.
She doesn't know whether to feel pity or terror, but what he says next sends even more ice down her spine.
"Now I cut those who are evil."
Everything starts to make perfect sense.
Why he was bullied at school, why people fear him. Why disrespectful, cruel men deserve to be knifed and why women and wives are angels. Why he wears a mask.
It's not sound reasoning, but it is a strategy, perhaps. Survival… A defense mechanism.
And offense is the best defense…
She had been right: this man is incurable, only in ways she could never have guessed.
Afterwards, he shows her his knives.
His room is full of them: combat knives, throwing knives, bowie knives, daggers, bayonets, balisongs, two machetes, a kukri, knives she doesn't even have a name for… There's swords and sticks and a riot shield. There's only one bed, nothing more, not even a nightstand.
And the room is also full of guns.
Assault rifles, sniper rifles, shotguns, handguns; there's scopes, tripods, gloves, gas masks, a ghillie suit, pouches, plate carrier vests, magazines, grenades, even a launcher.
The room is filled with violence.
And she didn't know what she expected.
Some "Hot Gun Babes" wall calendar and a few pocket knives? That he would play by the rules and keep weapons and gear where they were stored instead of in his fucking room?
He gives her his third gift that pairs well with her black dress, or any dress, for that matter. Another knife, but not the kind he kills people with, nor the flimsy kind used for entertainment purposes.
She receives an automatic switchblade, simple but pretty. The double-edged blade looks almost feminine, the way it curves into a sharp, dainty tip. The handle is made of sturdy, polished wood; it's incredibly beautiful and so dark it's nearly black. The knife is only a threat when it's flicked open: all in all a piece that isn’t what it seems.
"Hier. Good little blade. Would take it wherever I go."
"Thank you."
"Anything for you, Engel."
She kisses him after his gift. She kisses the white scar on his jaw, lifts the mask a bit more, and he doesn't stop her. He doesn't stop her, not even when she finds more keloid cuts and kisses them too.
And he's… simply a man.
There's a human under all that darkness.
It's not a pretty sight, perhaps, but for those scars, she couldn't love him more.
"You're not afraid of me," he sounds surprised when she takes in the violence done to his face with tenderness in her gaze.
"No."
He's speechless. The barricade covering his eyes is permanently broken, and she can see him, all of him.
She falls to her knees and opens his pants, gives the man another round of love. He looks at her with pain and pleasure; a pale, adoring god. Strokes her hair gently while she gets drunk on him like a succubus, wants him to spill that white on her face and all over her pretty black dress.
"Cum on my face, König."
She looks at him with angel eyes while saliva and drool make a rope from her mouth to his throbbing cock. But there is nothing left of the celestial, nothing more than a sweet, fallen angel, and a safe space just for her and him.
"Please…?"
Ruin me.
He hesitates a few seconds, then grabs his cock in an iron fist like it's heavy artillery.
"Whatever my angel wants, she shall have."
. . . . . .
He brings her flowers every morning and fucks her every night.
Sometimes he catches her when she's outside in the sun, reading a book or watching the clouds. He carries her off to the woods and takes her against a tree like they're the first man and woman on the earth after tasting the forbidden apple. They share a few hushed laughs and more than a few desperate kisses under the hood, then he brings her back to earth, straightens her dress like a gentleman before leaving to have a date with death.
He takes her out to eat sometimes, takes her to the shooting range. Calls her his little Wildkatze when she takes a liking to one of his shotguns. He takes her hand when they stroll through the grass and sings an old love song from his homeland. He has a beautiful voice, especially when he forgets he's in company. Or perhaps she's just special like that…
They share a secret language in the base. Whenever he sees her, he draws his knife and throws it in the air ("I miss you") or twirls it around ("The things I will do to you tonight…"). Sometimes, he just places a hand on the handle of the cruel blade. That stands for 'You're mine'.
It's the closest thing to I love you before either of them have spoken the actual words. Or then it's the closest thing to I love you he's capable of.
She gives him a small smile in return, puts a hand in her pocket and fondles the gift she carries everywhere she goes. He knows it's a nod to his secret messages. It stands for 'You're my everything'.
She keeps the switchblade with her even when she's wearing a dress after work. Red this time, the color of passion.
She wants to surprise him: König always comes to her before nightfall, but this time, she wants to go and visit him. She wants him to take her in the middle of black steel and acrid gunpowder while she's dressed in blood.
"Be a darling and fix me a cup of coffee, will you?"
She's stopped by Phillip Graves of all people. Another man who has never paid her any attention. Apparently, red cloth is the same thing for evil men as it is for the enraged animals in bullfighting shows.
She does stop, but she doesn't obey his wishes. She just stares him down like he's filth: another thing she thought she could never do.
I'm not your coffee girl.
"C'mon honey. I've had a bad day." The man only seems to feed off from her silent scorn: like it's some dark game they're playing now. "You could make it so much better."
For fuck's sake…
Here is a man who disrespects everything about her: her position as a cleaner, her value as a woman, her rank as a shy being who is too kind for this world. She's simply a doll who doesn't know how to kill, who doesn't know how to say no. This man however, won't take no for an answer.
"I'm not here to serve coffee," she says with pure ice.
"Is that so?"
"Yes. And I'm off duty, too."
"Thought we could have a little chat, you and I."
"Why?"
"You seem like an interesting woman."
He seems pleased with the fact that for some reason, she's still here, that he has her attention. Thinks he's winning her over with some yucky flirting.
"And wearing a red dress like that…" He tsks, as if it's a crime for a woman to wear red. "Red can drive a man crazy, darling."
She understands why she has been invisible to everyone except König up until this point.
Because deep down, she knows if she would carry herself in full, show herself to the world as the woman she truly is, she would instantly attract love, and power, and hunger, and lust.
"I'm going to go now, sir."
"Tell you what. You serve me that coffee and I'll let you go."
She catches sadism in that stare. And to think she had always found Graves to be somewhat… arrogant, perhaps, but not cruel. The man obviously has a Napoleon complex, but he was not supposed to be sadistic.
How wrong she has been.
She knows she could just get out of the situation by filling that mug the bastard can't fill himself because of some stupid need to have a powerplay moment with an innocent little girl who happens to wear red.
But she doesn't want to. König would have ripped this guy's head off by now.
"I'm off duty," she repeats.
Fuck these men who are always looking for a plaything.
Graves rises from the chair. She's both cold and sweaty by the time he has taken a step, two, three.
But men are a bit stupid sometimes.
They think dresses don't have pockets.
When he takes the fourth and last step, with joy-tinged cruelty in his eyes, she flicks the knife out and open, and simply stabs him in the supposed direction of the organ called heart.
It feels thrilling, pure power: to sink that knife there and catch a man – a soldier of all people – unawares.
So this is what it feels like…
The hurt in his stare doesn't necessarily come from pain, but from the realization that he has made a huge miscalculation.
He looks down at the small knife that will be the end of him, then at her, the woman he thought was just a simple, shy cleaner he could bully into submission.
"You fucking–bitch," he gasps. Weakly.
By the time she pulls the knife out and stabs him again, she's somewhere far away. It hits him in the stomach, and he still doesn't do anything about it, and that's the moment she finds pity, and mercy, and horror.
She turns and stumbles, then runs from the room, unsure if the thump on the floor behind her is real or imagined.
"You fucking whore…!"
The shout is real enough though, and she runs, runs, with a sharp little knife in her hand for what seems like an eternity. That flight is a prolonged medieval torture moment that ends in front of König's door.
Her titan is as calm as ever when he opens the door, and tilts his head when he sees she's breathing fast.
"I think I killed Phillip Graves," she informs with eyes wide.
He blinks, then immediately looks at her hand, the knife, the blood. She goes to him, lifts a hand to his shirt in a desperate attempt to find support. There's not even that much blood. She thought killing would be much messier.
König said it would be messy.
"I… He…"
Her hands won't even shake. All her senses are blown wide and sharp, she sees everything, hears everything, but her hands won't shake.
Is she a psychopath?
"I killed Phillip Graves," she repeats, looks at his chest, clutches at the knife, clutches at his shirt.
The door behind her closes, and König takes hold of her shoulders with warm, warm hands.
"Well done, Engel," he says with such joy, such unbound pride that it snaps her back into reality.
Her jaw starts to tremble, her teeth clatter, she raises her eyes to him…
"He… He wanted coffee, and to talk, and he liked my dress, and–"
"Did he touch you?"
He asks it like it's far more important than what she has just done. She has to shuffle through her memory, but she finds no recalling of Graves laying a single finger on her.
"No."
He was about to. Right?
He was. He threatened me–
"Don't shed tears for him," König says as he looks down at her with mesmerized awe and infatuation. "I can promise you he doesn't deserve them."
Then he hugs her, squeezes her and just holds her, and she's still holding on to the murder weapon.
What will everyone say? What will my friends say?
"My little angel is good with a knife," the titan laughs proudly somewhere high above her.
People have killed each other since the dawn of time.
These things happen.
I'm not the first murderer on this planet.
"My poor little… He was a bad man, Engel. I promise you that."
It's not a big deal. He was a killer too.
He could've died in the field…
"I'm going to jail," she whispers on his shirt. She wants to let go of the knife, but fears it might hurt him or her when it falls.
And she remembers she's not dealing with normal people.
"They will kill me for this," she says with distant realization.
"No they won't," he strokes her hair like she's the best pet he has ever had. "I will take the blame. It was my knife, ja?"
She pushes herself away to look at him, then nods slowly. Her jaw just won't stop trembling.
"Good girl," he pulls her against him again, so fondly that it forces out a whimper.
"Mh."
"Come here," he coos while already holding her so impossibly close. He's surprisingly good at this: at comforting her. Or then it simply feels uncommonly good to have someone sturdy to hang on to while her life and identity are falling apart.
"I'm not sure if he's dead," she whispers when the embrace lingers on. König breaks the hug immediately.
"You didn't confirm the kill?"
She must look like a shy cleaner again, because his resolve is stone cold and solid.
"Engel, I will go and finish it. Where is he?"
She tells, because he would find out anyway. He would start a manhunt and cause even more ruckus.
But when his hand reaches the doorknob, when he's already about to go and finish her crime on top of taking the full blame for it, he turns.
"Do I have your permission?"
Her jaw slowly stops trembling, and a soft sweetness spreads through her heart. The elite soldier, the mass murderer, asks for her permission.
She is more than just special…
"Yes," she whispers, and he gives her a curt nod before storming out the door.
And he's not living in the 21st century.
Instead, he walks in the world of gladiators, rages in a blood-drunk arena, lives in a time where killing was the norm. He solves problems with physical force: it's just that simple. There is no complex society, there are no rules other than the rules of the heart and the loins.
Anyone who disrespects her will get the blade, anyone who might take her away from him will make him do whatever is in his power to prevent it.
And he has the ultimate power: the power of violence.
He comes back surprisingly clean: only a tiny speckle of blood on his camos and some vivid-colored grime on his hands.
"Done."
She nods with solemn silence. She's done, too. Done with everything, because everything's gone. No matter how high the sun is, she will walk in darkness from now on.
"I believe you Engel. He swore he didn't touch you."
And God.
She might be special, but a dying enemy's, a man's word is more worth to him than hers. As if she would try to protect Graves from his wrath by lying.
And Graves wasn't even dead…
But he is now. Probably tortured too to get the truth out about not soiling her with his paws.
"Did anyone see you..?"
"No. But they will know it was me."
It's another gift to her. Another murder. And her purity, intact, in exchange for a compliment, a testimony of his character during a lazy coffee break. For a few kisses on his scars of abuse. For letting him fuck her like a beast.
Her gifts are burning tears, soft flesh and tight little cries…
His gifts are cold, black steel, hot, white cum and a stream of crimson blood.
"Thank you…"
"I would do anything for you." He bows his head, a little nod to inform her that he is hers to command. "Anything you want, just ask."
She's at home in hell, filled with guns and knives and a fallen god. She knows he will take her again tonight, just like he has done every night in the past weeks. In every position imaginable, grunting, howling, panting, laughing how sweet she is, asking if she likes what he is doing to her. She has always whispered yes through tears of hot joy.
Sometimes, they come together and their gazes lock, and it feels like drifting into a starless space with him. He strokes her hair and coats her with whispers of love before they fall asleep. They always curl up together in the cover of womblike darkness, with soft little smiles on their faces, safe from all evil.
"Can you keep me safe…?"
It's a sad little question, but she doesn't feel weak. She knows he is lost in her too: especially when she's wearing a dress the color of blood, especially when she looks at him like he's her God.
"Please keep me safe."
He comes to her carefully, answers her summons. She's pulled into a familiar embrace, and she doesn't even think about Graves anymore: she thinks about whether König will take her on the bed that smells of acid sweat or on the wall next to the gun rack.
"Always, Engel. I promise."
She holds the most powerful weapon in her tiny little hand. A dark, fallen titan who has risen from the depths of the earth to pledge himself to her, body and soul, while her innocent little dresses flutter in the wind and make everyone believe she's a victim. But she doesn't feel sorry.
Because it's just like he said.
They belong together, she and him.
🖤 🖤 🖤
Taglist:
@ghostinvenus @konigsleftkidney @stillinracooncity @valenspuppy @koionthewalls
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sweetbans29 · 4 months ago
Text
Overprotective - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: 3 times you navigate her need to protect you (based on THIS request)
Warnings: Protective CC, mildly suggestive in the first one
Word Count: 3.5k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: Protective CC would be superior. Also used piece of a movie to help with one of the instances, see if you can spot it.
The First.
You don't know how you got here. Everything happened so fast, you couldn't comprehend the events that were unfolding in front of you. One second you were sitting at the lunch tables with your friends, the next you had milk going down your back and you see your best friend launch herself at whoever who did it.
See high school wasn't your friend. You remember all those movies about the outcast getting bullied by everybody who thinks they're anybody? Yeah, that's you. Walking through the halls of your school with a walking target on your back. A target that just magically appeared one day and has never left. Forget the fact that you were at a religious school, it was almost worse than if you went to public school. The girls here were a whole new level of mean.
There was only one thing that kept you sane and that was your best friend. That is your best friend and crush for the last 4 years. A crush that you swallow down and will take to your grave to never see the light of day. You had met the brown haired girl at an AAU tournament. You loved going to AAU tournaments and would spend a majority of your time in gyms with your mom was a coach and your older sister played. It was crazy how every bone in her body was athletic and every bone in yours was not. She took after your mom while you took after your dad. Going back to the brown haired girl, you were sitting and watching the team your mom coached when a ball came flying your way, hitting you straight in the head. The brown haired girl came running over, apologizing immediately. Once you got over the pain, she introduced herself and you did the same. Little did you know that the beginning of your friendship was a foreshadowing to the rest of your friendship.
Bringing it back to the milk running down your back. You were sitting in the cafeteria with Caitlin and a few other girls from her team when Stacy and her crew walked up to your table.
"Well look who we have here," Stacy says, eyes trained on you. Forget who you were sitting with, when Stacy had an agenda to humiliate you - she would do it.
You don't look up at the girl and continue eating your lunch. You see Caitlin's teammates sit up a little straighter, always keeping an eye out for you. What you don't see is Caitlin's fists clench as her whole body tenses up.
"Ignoring me now are we?" Stacy says. "Do we really think that is the best idea?"
Whenever you talked to your dad about what was happening at school, he would empathize with you. He would also tell you to not give them the light of day - show them that they don't phase you. And that is exactly the plan you had.
You take another bite of your sandwich and ignore Stacy.
"Why don't you try and ignore this," she says as she elbows her boyfriend Tyler. Tyler picks up the milk from Caitlin's tray and slowly pours it down the back of your shirt.
As much as you try to ignore the cold liquid running down your back, you straighten from the cold sensation and feel a lump in your throat form.
Another thing your dad told you was to never let the enemy see you cry, they feed off of you weakness only fueling them even more.
Before you can turn to say something, You see Caitlin stand. Before you can stop her, she has her fist connecting with Tyler's face.
You sit there in shock for a whole two seconds as you hear the whole cafeteria go silent. It's not like Tyler can hit back but you first thought was 'what if he did?'.
Caitlin's team is now pulling her away from Tyler and Stacy's group as Stacy is checking to make sure Tyler is okay.
When you come to your senses, you grab Caitlin's arm and drag her out and down the hallway to the nearest bathroom. The team stayed behind to let the teachers know what happened which you were beyond grateful for.
Once you got Cait into the bathroom you just stand there and look at her. You can see the rage in her eyes and you are sure yours reflect something similar.
How could she be so stupid, you thought to yourself. You look down at the hand that collided with Tyler and your whole demeanor softens. You walk past Caitlin and grab a paper towel. You wet it under the sink and take her hand.
The second the cool towel makes contact with her knuckles, she flinches, trying to retreat but you don't let her.
"Stop moving," you tell her. She lets out an exasperated groan.
You bring her hand up to examine it closer as you pat her bruising skin. She doesn't move and lets you run your fingers on top of her own.
"You're so dumb," you say knowing her hand is going to bug her for the next week days at practice.
There would be a lot that you didn't tell your best friend, worried that something like this would happen. You have seen Caitlin's temper and would fear it would lead to regrettable actions.
She looks at you in disbelief.
"If you think I was going to sit there and just let them do that, you are very wrong," Caitlin says. You didn't realize how close she had gotten to you but once you realize it, you feel the hair on your arms rise.
Caitlin is looking into your eyes, her hand that you were just holding is now on your neck. Her thumb grazes your cheek. You would be lying to yourself if you were to say you haven't thought about this.
"Caitlin," you say as she leans in and gently presses her lips to yours.
At first, the kiss is slow and sweet. Just getting to know the way each other's lips move. Once there is an unspoken comfortability, and Cait senses that, she deepens the kiss. Your hands come to wrap around her neck as hers find a home on your waist. She backs you up into the sink, using the gasp that escapes you to allow her tongue to explore yours.
Caitlin breathes you in like her life depends on it. She squeezes your hips and moans into you when she feels your hands tug at the hair on the back of her head. She wants you in ways she would never dare speak of, at least that was before her knowing you would kiss her back with as much need.
You feel her hands slip under your shirt and you are suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you are still in the school bathroom. One of your hands comes to her chest, giving her a little push which elicits a low whine from the girl. As much as you want her, your first time together will not be in the confines of this wretched place.
"Not here," you say out of breath. She hesitates but nods. Your hand comes up to hold her face.
"You are beautiful," you say really looking at her features. When you say it, you feel her cheeks warm as she smiles. She leans in to hide her face into your shoulder and neck, a gesture you have learned she does when she is overly excited and or extremely content. She muffles something into your neck that you can't understand.
"What was that?" You ask. She lifts her head a little.
"You smell like milk," she says with a little giggle. You push her back and she is now full on laughing.
You remove your shirt and rinse it out in the sink. Caitlin comes up behind you wraps her arms around your middle.
"You're so much help," you say sarcastically.
"I know," she says, smiling at you through the mirror.
"Maybe I'll walk out there like this," you say referring to you being topless.
"Like hell you will," Cait says as she removes the sweatshirt she is wearing. She forces it over your head, causing your hair to get messed up. Not that she cared, the idea of you walking out for everyone to see blinded every other thought she had. She treats you like a child who can't dress themselves as she is pulling your arms through the sleeves one by one.
"There you go," she says content with herself.
"Promise me you won't do that again," you say as you take her hand.
"You know I don't make promises I can't keep," she says and you roll your eyes at the girl.
You thank her as the two of you head back out into the world. Later that day, after Caitlin is done with practice, she makes her way to your house. The two of you hang outside in your backyard, bundled up in your hammock. You talk about when each of your feelings started to arise for one another and what your lives look like together. She tells you how she tried to hide her hand from her coach but was ultimately outed. You grabbed her hand and took another look at the bruises that have developed.
"I still can't believe you punched Tyler," you whisper as you are looking at her hand.
"And I would do it again if he ever messes with you like that again," Cait says not missing a beat.
"I know you would," you say as you bring her hand up to your lips, giving it the most gentle kiss.
The Worst.
You are at home, book in hand, planted on the couch while wrapped in a blanket when the softest knock comes from the front door. You look at the clock, 10:42 PM.
Making your way to the door you check to see who it is. After spotting your girlfriend and one of her teammates you open it in a heartbeat.
The sight in front of you is one that you wish you never had to see.
Caitlin is being held up by her teammate who is doing her best to keep the beat up girl from hunching over.
"Sorry to bug you so late, I didn't know where else to take her," her teammate says and you go to help her bring Caitlin into your house.
"What happened?" You ask and Cait's teammate looks at you warily. By the look you already know. Your mind flashes back to lunch where you were humiliated worse than ever before.
Walking into the cafeteria, you are met with glances and muffled laughs. When you walk up to your usual table, you are met with Stacy and Tyler.
"Oh hey there," Stacy says with a wicked smile. You ignore her and go to sit when your eyes is drawn to something. Looking at the flyer on the table you see a photoshoped picture of your face on some model in a bikini.
You feel the blood drain form your face as panic sets in - looking around you see everyone has fliers in their hands and are laughing at you. The humiliation is sickening.
You turn to run back out out the cafeteria when you are met with familiar arms.
"I got you," Caitlin whispers as you hide your face in her. She looks over at Stacy and her gang, ripping a flier from a nearby girl's hand, taking a look at what they had done. All Cait can see is red when she crumples the paper and is about to go give Stacy a piece of her mind when she feels your shaking body.
"I got you," Cait says again, deciding to take you out of the situation. As she looks at Stacy, Caitlin's eyes show she will be back.
Caitlin takes you home and promises she will be back. You beg her to stay with you which she gives in and stays.
She holds you as you fall asleep in her arms. When you wake up, you are alone. You knew Cait had a game which is where you believed her to be. After checking your phone, you suspicions are right which is when you curl up with a book.
"I've got her," you tell Caitlin's teammate and they leave.
Caitlin is sitting on your couch, not a word spoken.
You grab arm and lead her up to your bathroom. it takes some time to get up the stairs but she manages. Once in your bathroom, she takes a seat on the counter as you grab your first aid kit.
Looking at your girl, you don't know where to begin. Putting the hydrogen peroxide down, you run downstairs to grab a few bags of frozen veggies and return with them. You place one on Caitlin's eye and another on her knee. The final bag you brought goes to her right fist and she flinches.
You start cleaning the cuts and scraps on her left hand, shortly moving over to her right. You clean and bandage all the open wounds you see. Caitlin shifts and winces.
You look at her with furrowed eyebrows as her hand comes to bring an ice pack to her abdomen. Moving her hand, you try to lift her shirt but she fights you for the first time. You shoot her a 'don't you dare' look and she slumps her shoulders and lets you lift her shirt. You don't need to lift it far to see her once porcelain skin painted with blue, green and yellow.
"Holy shit," you mutter as you go to gently bring her shirt over her head.
"Caity," you say with a sigh, scared to touch her.
"It's not as bad as it looks," she says trying to smile. You fingers come to graze against the blue parts of her stomach and she winces again.
Your concern for the girl grows as you continue to find more and more injuries.
You finish caring for her by cleaning up her face. There wasn't much to clean up, just her eye.
Once finished, you bring her head to lean against your shoulder.
The two of you stay like that for a while.
"I'm not sorry," she mutters.
"I know," you say. She lifts her head to look in your eyes. She leans her forehead against yours.
"Can I spend the night?" She asks. "Don't want my parents to see me."
You nod. You step back and help her off the counter, guiding her to your bed. After helping her lay down you begin to leave your room.
"Where are you going?" Cait asks.
"I'll be right back, babe," you say as you grab the bags of now unfrozen veggies. You return them to the freezer and grab some Advil along with a glass of water.
When you walk back into your room, you see Caitlin laying there with her eyes closed. You go and sit next to her and you watch her chest rise and fall. Your eyes can't help by travel down to her colored abdomen as you feel a pain in your chest.
"I wish you didn't," you say as Caitlin brings her hand to rest on your thigh.
"They can't think what they did is okay," she says, her eyes still closed.
"I don't care about them, I care about you," you say as your thumb begins to rub the skin right under her right breast.
Caitlin finally opens her eyes and you pass her the pain reliever.
You make your way to your side of the bed and lay down. Scooting close to her, you are too scared to lean on her.
"Want me to make the joke about seeing the other guy?" Caitlin asks trying to lighten the mood.
"Absolutely not," you say. You hear Cait chuckle, then feel her scoot closer to you so your arms are touching.
"Promise me you won't do this again," you breath out.
She is silent for a little before responding.
"You know I can't make promises I can't keep," she says.
The Last.
You are sitting in the bleachers of your high schools gym waiting to watch Caitlin play one of your schools biggest rivals. You watch the game intently as Caitlin dominates the court per usual.
Her team takes the win and you wait for you girl in the stands as she celebrates with her team first. As you are waiting you feel someone come and sit next to you.
"Hey there," someone says and you turn to see a guy from the other school. You give him a smile but don't say anything.
"I was wondering if you wanted to get out of here?" He asks.
"No thank you," you say as you stand and head down to the court to find Cait.
To your discomfort, he follows you.
"Hey, come back baby," he says as he grabs your arm. You yank it out of his hand.
"Is there a problem here?" You hear your girlfriend say as she wraps her arm around you.
"No," you whisper as you see the look in Caitlin's eye. It is the look of protector, the 'if you make one wrong move I will f-you up' look.
"Just trying to get this pretty little thing to leave with me," the guys says not taking the hint that you were in no way interested.
You feel Caitlin tense next to you and your grab her arm trying to get her to stop whatever she is about to do. You fail as you feel her lung at the guy.
"CLARK!" A voice booms. Everyones head whips to the origin of the sound to find Cait's coach.
"You swing, you are no longer on this team," Coach says as everyone turns their head to see Caitlin's arm wound up behind her. You see the dilemma in Caitlin's eye.
Your hand comes up to bring her fist down and she takes a step back. You know she can't afford to get kicked off the team - she is preparing to head to Iowa to play in college.
"Yes Coach," she says as she takes a step back. The guy now has a smirk on his face as if he didn't just dodge a bullet.
"Yes Coach," he teases and before you know it you are are the one swinging at the guy. You fist comes into contact with his face and you immediately regret it. Pain shoots from your right hand and up your arm.
"Oh shit," Caitlin says in awe of you.
Caitlin's coach shakes her head and walks away, she could stop Caitlin but has no jurisdiction over you.
The pain in your hand continues to grow.
"Cait, something isn't right," you say and she takes a hold of your hand. You let out a screech when she makes contact with you and shortly sees you fractured your hand.
Caitlin is the one to drive you to urgent care. You go and get your hand checked out, walking out with your hand in a serious wrap and follow up instructions.
As Caitlin drives you home, she is still in disbelief that you were the one to throw a punch. She parks in front of your house and turns her car off.
You sit there in silence, ashamed that you let your temper get the best of you.
"Babe," she says and you turn to look at her. The look in her eyes is something you have never seen before.
"I'm sorry," you say and look away from her. Her hand comes up to bring your face to look back out her.
"Don't apologize, my love," she says and leans in to press a kiss to your lips. "It was honestly really hot."
You giggle at her comment. You take a moment as your tone becomes more serious.
"Cait, you need to figure out a way to control your temper," you say playing with her hand. "No more hitting."
She is about to speak when you cut her off.
"I agree with your coach," you say and you look in her eyes. "I need you to promise me, no more fights. We will figure something else out okay? I can't have you going around fighting everyone, not here and definitely not in college."
You hadn't told Cait you were planning on going to Iowa with her. She knew you applied but she had no idea you had gotten in, not that she had any doubts.
She gives you the 'you better not be messing with me' look and you just smile at her. Her excitement overtakes her as she pulls you into her, burying her face into your neck. Your smile matches hers.
She lets you go and looks at you.
"I promise," she says. "I promise, no more fighting."
A stress in your releases as you have been waiting to hear those words fall from her mouth for over a year now.
"I love you," you say as you bring her face to yours.
"I love you more," Cait says kissing your lips.
AN: FIGHT ME. Not actually but I can see Cait bumping chest with someone as she yells that. Let me know if you see the same. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍
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naomiarai · 1 year ago
Text
Conscious – cbg.
Synopsis : Your best friend's idea for trying to help you stay awake for your finals might be a bit twisted right?
Pairing : beomgyu × afab!reader [non idol au]
Wc : 1.6k
Warnings : dom! gyu, sub!reader, praise, pet names (princess, angel, pretty girl), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie.
Disclaimer : the lovely anon who sent an drabble on this. it got deleted, but I decided to write a fic on it. [I wrote this in one sitting while I was drunk so..]
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Finals week was up tight for you. You swore you'd fail if you don't stay up all night studying. Hell that's not seeming to work
Luckily, you had someone to pent up with your version of opposite-insomnia. Beomgyu is annoying, but you still want him around. He's probably the only one keeping you sane when you keep falling asleep instead of racing your eyes on words.
You've managed the ones you couldn't avoid and here you are with the last one. Beomgyu seems careless today. He's sprawled up over your living room couch, his legs crossing over yours. Laptop situated on your lap, your eyes kept closing, only something that touched you lightly jolted you awake.
You scream out in frustration, muttering numerous curse words to yourself. Beomgyu jolts up, wide-eyed. A frown forming on his face.
“Your opera made me lose my game!” he says with an annoying tone. “Gyu, that's the least of my worries right now, I keep fucking falling asleep.” you reply back, clenching your teeth. “Don't disrespect your elders now” he says with a grin on his face. Beomgyu was a year older than you, but that doesn't give him a pass to act so entitled to his age when you act up.
“Nothing's working. I stopped taking melatonin, and all tube lights are turned on” you admit in a low voice. “ I don't get how you fall asleep that easy now. You had insomnia level 100 when you were little” he says in a wondering tone. You groan at him, wishing it were the complete opposite now.
"You know, I heard endorphins can keep you awake” he blurts out randomly. You turn your head towards him, with a small frown on your face. "Endorphins?” you ask. “Yeah, they keep some people awake”. Why did he sound so suspicious? “They're found in chocolate, laughing, listening to music...sex..”
You choked on air as you heard his last word. Sex? Now that's a fact. You haven't had sex in quite some time now...
Beomgyu looks at your bewildered face and scoffs. “What? It's true” he says. He thinks for a split second before he asks “Speaking of sex, when was your last time?” How did he sound so casual? "W-..why are you even asking?, i had two boyfriends in the past soo..” you randomly cut of, going into thought.
“Right, the first guy, who was it? Ah- Jaehoon! An asshole if you ask me” he sounded annoyed saying it even though it didn't look like it. You could tell. But why? “second..was Sunghyun? I didn't like him either” he says as he puts his fingers underneath his chin.
“Why the fuck are you going over my history of boyfriends? ” you ask. Also, he sounded weird talking about Sunghyun as well. He replies after a pause, “Which one actually made you cum?” you froze at his words. Does he actually know what he's saying? “Beomgyu!” you scream, “Why would you even ask?!”
“Oh, so none of them did?” he asks curiously. “Nevermind, ________ just tell me”. You think on his words, the only thing you never told Beomgyu was about your sex life. It's not like he asked anyway. "I-..I've had sex like twice...?” you mumble. He looked puzzled, “Don't tell you've only that two times of sex in only one relationship that lasted like, two and half years..? He got his answer, just because you didn't say anything.
He scoffs out laughing, “Did you cum at least?” he asks with a sigh. You pause for sometime.. was it really that embarrassing? “N-no”. You get back to your senses, getting angrier by the second. “But what does that have to do with me falling asleep?” you retort. “Absolutely nothing!”.
He has that shit-eating grin on his face. God, you just want to wipe it off with a kiss. Wait. What were you thinking? No.
“I'm just saying you know, it works like this, you overwork and start falling asleep too easy then I tell you that sex produces endorphins and they help you stay awake, anddd, he adds, dragging the d sound, you haven't had proper sex”
You roll your eyes at his explanation like it didn't mean anything. It doesn't. ”You're acting like I could go get dick just because I keep falling asleep” you reply back. “It's not like I have a boyfriend now, Gyu” you add on.
“But I'm right here”. He says ever so slowly. You're taken aback, frozen still in your place. “What the fuck are you even saying?” you say, almost whispering. His face and tone remain nonchalant, contradictory to yours. “You say you have no boyfriends, right?, and I'm probably the only guy you talk to”
Should you say yes? It's once and he'll probably never ask again. And he's kind of cute. You'd date him. But you would never tell him this. No, but you did get braver at the moment.
“Is this your excuse at asking if you could fuck me?” you ask calming yourself down with a laugh laced in your voice. He seems to take your presence in for a moment. “Did it work?” he asks with a sly smirk.
“If you want it to” you say quickly before you could do anymore pausing. His grin grows bigger; he slides the laptop off your lap and places it on the transparent coffee table with a soft thud. Connecting his lips with yours, you moan into the kiss at the sudden feeling. His arms wrap around your waist as you sit straight up. “Strawberry?” he asks tasting your chapstick. You simply nod, cupping his cheeks to resume the kiss. “Woah, looks who's actually eager here” he laughs.
He picks you up without breaking the kiss, having your legs on his both his sides. You break the kiss saying, “Not on the bed, I don't have new sheets ready” He chuckles at your prediction. “Who said it had to be on the bed?” He sits back down, with you still straddling his lap. His hands slip underneath your shirt, cold hands caressing your warm body. “I didn't expect you to agree so easily” he asks continuing to kiss your neck. “W-...well you did something about those endorphins...” you whisper. He laughs at you, quite obvious he hadn't bought it.
You sit up straight on his lap for a second, thinking. “But won't we make a mess on the couch?” you ask expendentaly. “If you let me go inside..?” he asks with a smirk. You slap his chest multiple times, his idea has some structural value to not making a mess but won't it.... leak out? God, no you should never think dirty. At least you won't have to change the bed sheets.
He claims your lips again in passionate kiss, hands going down to remove your sweatpants. Your left in a crop top and panties. What a sight. He breaks the kiss to lay you down on the couch. “I'll make you cum, astonishing you never have after you had sex twice” he says dramatically. You roll your eyes at him, to which he scoffed at in a high pitched voice. “Just wait, I'll make you roll your eyes for a valid reason” he says before undoing his belt and discarding his jeans and boxers.
You tried to look away. He had a pretty dick. But will it even fit? “Don't look away at the man who's going to fuck you now” he says playfully, hovering above you. You stare at him for a couple seconds, taking in his features. He moves your panties to the side, taking a look at your glistening pussy. “Need to prep you, angel” he says. Taking his fingers closer, he slips in a finger, extremely tight unsurprisingly. “You groan at the sudden feeling, he adds another finger stretching your walls out, you feel pleasure slowly forming from the slight pain. He continue s to stretch you out, with you letting out loud moans form time to time. He retrieves his fingers back just when you're legs shook. You look at him confused.
“I'm only having you cum on my cock” he says before slipping his hands underneath your shirt and removing your bra. He starts to play with your hardened nipples with slick covered fingers, to which you would scold him for, but it felt too good.
He pulls his hands back, spreading your legs open and removing your panties whole. “Ready princess?” he asks softly to which you nod slowly. He enters you with ease,, still going slowly. You feel so so full. He groans out loud, he mutters a 'so tight' before slowly thrusting in and out. “Mmnh–ngh fuck–” you moan out, the pads of his fingers rubbing your clit, making your roll your eyes back. His pace gets faster, so as his grunts and your moans. “Shit–pretty–you feel s-so good” he grunts. The sound of skin slapping against skin takes over your senses, raw pleasure filling you. “Don't stop! nngh– so s-so good!”
The wet and lewd sounds of his dick going in and out get louder, as he slowed down, dick starting to twitch slightly inside of you. You felt a firework inside your stomach, like a coil so desperate to burst. You think you're about to cum. “G-gyu, think I'm gonna cum fuck—!” you moan. “Yeah? cum for me princess, g-good girl aren't you? cream all over my cock-!” You feel his cockhead slowly hitbyour cervix with each slow thrust as you feel the coil in your stomach collapse, coming all over his cock.
He came after you, filling you up, and it leaked out onto the couch. “That was great” he blurts out tired. You slowly recover form your orgasm, getting back to your senses. “Is this going to be a one time thing or—” You're cut off with a kiss, him saying “Absolutely not. I'm keeping you angel” you simply smile at him.
“But gyu didn't you tell sex kind of helps you stay awake, I really don't think that's for me..?” He takes in your words, “It is for some people...” he says before his eyes light up with a grin plastered on hif face. “So round two?”
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rottenpumpkin13 · 4 months ago
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Sephiroth isn’t normally one to believe in ghosts. So what happens when he moves into a house that happens to be haunted?
*AGSZ enter Sephiroth's new apartment carrying boxes*
Angeal: I can't believe you got Lazard to agree on letting you switch apartments.
Genesis: He's impossible. The man refuses to approve the modifications I want for my apartment.
Sephiroth: That's because your renovation plans include a giant crystal bathtub, an indoor koi pond, diamond chandeliers, a private theater, and your own butler.
Genesis: I could not be more humble if I tried.
*The sound of ripping velcro makes them look over to see Zack strapping a life vest on himself*
Angeal: What are you wearing??
Zack: It's an anti-ghost protection vest. There's salt, sage and holy water embedded into it. You know, to repel the ghosts.
Sephiroth: What ghosts?
Zack: Lazard told me this apartment is haunted! That's why it's been vacant this whole time.
Genesis: And you believed him? What are you, a child?
Angeal: Zack, ghosts aren't real.
Zack: Yes they are.
Sephiroth: No, they're not.
Zack: They are!
Angeal: They're not!
Zack: Really? Okay! Then how do you explain the fact that my mind is racing a mile a minute and I feel terrible energy surrounding me?
Sephiroth: You have ADHD and you're standing next to Genesis.
Genesis: Rude.
Sephiroth: You can take that off, Zack. I assure you, there aren't any ghosts here.
*Suddenly the lights start flickering on and off*
Zack: AH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
Angeal: That's just faulty electricity.
*Sephiroth shivers*
Sephiroth: Is anyone else cold?
Zack: GHOST!
Angeal: LACK OF SHIRT
Sephiroth:
*Suddenly the faucet in the kitchen sink turns on*
Zack: How do you explain that!!??
Sephiroth: I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that. Right, Genesis?
Sephiroth:
Sephiroth: Genesis?
*They look over and Genesis is kneeling on the ground in prayer with his arms in the air*
Genesis: Minerva grant me your strength, shield me from darkness, protect my soul from all evil. SURROUND me with your divine light—
Angeal: OH, GET UP
*Suddenly the TV turns on and a knife flies across the room*
Zack: OKAY! YOU GUYS ARE ON YOUR OWN!
*Zack runs out of the apartment*
Genesis: You know what? I won’t let a paranormal entity intimidate me. I'll drive this creature out of here by my own hand. *He draws his sword* Come at me, you ghostly bastard!
*The table moves on its own towards Genesis*
*Genesis runs out of the apartment at a speed Neither Sephiroth nor Angeal knew he could run*
Angeal: They're being ridiculous, aren't they, Seph?
Sephiroth: They are. It's reassuring to know that at least two of us still possess sound judgment and logic.
*The mirror shatters on its own*
Angeal: IT'S A DEMONIC ENTITY. I'LL GO GET THE SALT AND SAGE. STAY HERE
*Angeal runs out of the apartment and shuts the door behind him*
Sephiroth:
Sephiroth: It's unsettling to realize that I'm the most sane one.
Sephiroth:
Sephiroth, sighing: I don’t understand. Even if a paranormal entity were present, it shouldn't scare us away. We've faced wars and dealt with threats far beyond human comprehension. We're SOLDIER, and more than capable of confronting a demonic entity without fleeing.
*A disembodied Hojo-esque laughter echoes throughout the apartment*
*Sephiroth runs towards the closed door, smashes right through it, and flees*
.
.
.
*Lazard comes out from behind a corner with a remote that was controlling everything*
Lazard: And I'll do it again.
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