#look at how sexy i am
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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cutie moments during Ephemeral Gaze soundcheck 😌💘 [240901 WANT / SITA]
#shinee#taemin#lee taemin#shine taemin#ephemeral gaze#sexy in the air#want#dailyshinee#kpopccc#ksoloists#smsource#kpopstages#speakofgifs#wow i haven't giffed in a while i almost forgot how heh~#not gonna lie.. it's been stressing me out. i can't keep up idk how yall gif so quickly :')) but cutie taemin moments are always fun#gotta make something for key's comback or i'll feel like i betrayed him <33 i am SOOOO excited. the concept/album looks and sounds amazing#and the brief sneak-peek i let myself have of his performance of pleasure shop looked so fun! I'm glad he's going party bop. does them well
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Astarion having such a high lockpicking proficiency is so funny to me, like. What's he doing? Picking locks on the houses he can't enter without an invitation?
#pops the door open#hello#i'm here to seduce you#could you please invite me in#why not#look how sexy i am#ugh there is no taste in this city#bg 3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#bg3
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king magnus skin real cute and lovely but it loses points on the account that i cant see his ass anymore
#marvel rivals#snap chats#PRIORITIES i know QVJELRKJAKLJLJ#NOW what am i supposed to do while waiting for the match to start i cant see it while melee spamming now#LIKE NOOO LET ME SEE HIS TIGHT ASS MAN whatever .. this is why ima still flip flop between using the two ..#he's still big sexy so Fine Ill Live but still ... let me look at his chiseled cheeks idgaf#i aint even an ass man tbh ........ i can just appreciate a nice sculpt/shape... been goin on bout this too long anyways#for now ima use the king skin for a while ..... shiny and new...#this lil over-the-shoulder look is always so cutesy to me ..... like hi princess ...#love how his hair clips through his lil collar like oh girlfriend...#cant wait like idk a year down the line when mags has accumulated a good amount of skins and i can make a tierlist#anyway shoutout to my friend who birthday bargained me for a comm so i could upgrade my bp and get this sooner aeLKJGLAEKJG#cant wait to be able to unlock wanda's stuff like a month from now !!!!!!!! i MUST dance every second once i unlock the flamenco emote...#rivals ima need you to lock in and give everyone a dance emote and/or a sit emote. i loved doin that shit in ow2 ....#ok bye im playin vidja game
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[ID: a drawing of pye from outer wilds, standing with her writing staff. she's wearing an orange nomai space suit without the helmet, and she has a light brown face with curly darker brown fur. end ID]
figuring out how i want to draw the nomai, so here's a pye since i am obsessed with her !!!
#outer wilds#pye#she was one of the easiest to start recognizing across text because she is involved in so many different things#but then i saw the scroll where she was calculating trajectories to the sun station and i Was in love immediately#and i love that the sun station was designed (by the game artists not by pye) to look more weapon-like than anything else the nomai built#as a way to show how it goes against their nature to do something so destructive and high risk#and since pye is the one kind of leading that and being so vocally For it it implies that she is also acting against nomai nature#but i dont think thats necessarily true!! a majority of the nomai agreed or else the idea would have been voted down#(even tho it did spark arguments)#and the oldest nomai recording we have access to is from escall making a split second decision to warp to an unknown place#just to follow a signal the group was curious about and it put them in danger!!! that killed people!!!#like i know its more about the potential damage to the solar system and the life there but#throwing caution to the wind for scientific discovery is very much nomai nature From What I Saw !!!#not that i am saying the game creators are wrong lmao but i mean like. i think it is against their nature AND so very exactly their nature#at the same time and thats why there Was so much debate about it#and i think pye is the embodiment of trying Everything Possible (and impossible) to find answers and learn#AND SHE IS SEXY FOR IT#ANYWAYS. clears throat#blow up that sun girl hashtag women in stem
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ANDREW GARFIELD
for W Magazine’s Best Performances Issue [colored]
[source]
#oh hell#this picture live rent free in my mind#andrew garfield#colored version#in red#scaling the level#boom i'm pregnant#i’m moaning and I will not elaborate on the reason#didn’t mean to moan like that my bad#arms arms arms#holy shit#the look is what got me on my knees#hey daddy#it's fucking insane#i love your freckles and beauty spots#this photoshoot is absolutely criminal#i'm crying didn't say where#andrew garfield making it up how being sexy#the dilf-o-meter is broken#the things i'd would let andrew garfield do to me#i am deceased#he looks 🔥🔥🔥#he's so fucking sexy#photoshoot#w magazine#sincericida
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HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR STILTON FANDOM WOOOOO
I dunno how I finished all of these in a single day but now I got ten minutes to send them before CNY ends in my timezone LMAOOOOO
We got Nicky and Pam doing lion dance together, and Vi, Colette and Paulina in some snazzy qipaos to celebrate CNY :D
Hope this appeases you, Stilton fandom, now I shall disappear again for a month /j
#geronimo stilton#thea stilton#thea sisters#art#sketches#chinese new year#lunar new year#year of the snake#year of the wood snake#i dunno how i crunched the girls' qipaos in one or two hours but here we are and i am surprisingly proud of them <3#i did base them off of specific tailorings of qipao#violet is wearing a more traditional qipao which is more flowy and baggy and emphasizes elegance and comfort#colette is wearing a modernized qipao which is prolly the one you've seen if you've seen a qipao before#modern qipaos are more body-hugging and are all about accentuating natural curves to make the wearer look sexy#and paulina is wearing a bit of a hybrid thingy? i put her in this qipao and traditional vest top i dunno the proper name of#and this new trend going on in china apparently where you wear a long pleated skirt (ma mian qun) underneath your qipao#and the result is very much slay material#i like how they came out they came pretty :]#it took me less time to do the flowers than i thought haha what refs and a time crunch do to a bitch haha#reason i was rushing was because it's considered bad luck in china to celebrate a holiday late#not that i'm superstitious or anything but i did wanna make it in time#alrighty enjoy the sketch happy cny gamers#before you say i forgot nicky's tail#i headcanon that mouse lion dancers tuck their tails into their pants during performances so they don't tangle or shift the lion body weird#it's very baggy and comfortable dw their tails are and will be fine
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Vincent gets used to [Halloween Town] in small increments. Here, he blends into the environment so well that residents are surprised to find him a newcomer.
…
He speaks with the Werewolf, avoids the awe-struck vampires and listens to the band in the evening, perching on the light pole to overlook the sprawling township.
-Smoke and Mirrors Keep Us Waitin' On A Miracle by Gothams_Only_Wolf (@bamfcoyotetango ) on Ao3
I’ve been rereading some of my older Ao3 bookmarks and idk what possessed me, but I had to draw something for this one lmaooo
#kingdom hearts#ffvii#nightmare before christmas#vincent valentine#bamfcoyotetango#nathalia draws things#fic art#also i know rebirth gave us some sexy new ss of Vincent but you bet your ass im using his dirge of cerberus look as ref#tempted to pull out my ps2 and replay ... i love her ...#me: collects a bunch of refs for wolfman#also me: doesnr really use the collected wolfman refs#i forgot how dark Halloween town is 😭😭😭 the struggle was real#the visual of the vampires obsessing over the new vampire-line guy is burned into my brain#I am now burning it into yours
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(slight AoT final episode spoilers below) — calling all reiner braun lovers; this is not a drill! i repeat, this is not a fucking drill! after years of waiting, we finally got clean-shaven rei-rei ><
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#PAPA REINERRRRRRR!!!!#THEY MADE MY HUSBAND LOOK SO HANDSOME OMOOO#you don’t understand how overjoyed i am! look at how they did him justice! ><#oh my fucking goodness he’s perfect. so so soooo perfect#it’s heart-aching to know things are finally over but at least rei-rei was sexy till the very end 🤭#❥ — rambles!#❥ — reiner!#reiner braun#reiner aot#aot final episode#attack on titan#reiner
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s2 episode 7 thoughts
hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.
(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)
well. we shall start from the top!
i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge
(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)
we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.
back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.
(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)
well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.
so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.
he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him
he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)
he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!
so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true
anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.
the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.
he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!
the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.
coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.
you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.
i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:
"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"
(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)
she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.
that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.
mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...
but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.
and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.
cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.
next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?
he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.
anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...
she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.
it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.
(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)
at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"
i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.
but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?
but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!
he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.
here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.
mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.
mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.
so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.
the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.
probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?
but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?
and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!
and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.
overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.
let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.
#i think i shall choose to ignore this episode going forward#sometimes he is so violently a Man it's shocking.#like the sexy tool calendar? i cannot keep defending him. throwing tomatoes as we speak. they're splattering his shirt.#man if i was missing and i learned my friend hooked up with a vampire to distract from the sorrow i'd be pissed as hell#i'd be all#and how did that help the situation. did it lead you to find me. why weren't you LOOKING for me.#is this vampire more important to you? is she gonna take my place? answer your 3 am calls and stand up for you against workplace bullying?#and you WORE my NECKLACE? the one my MOTHER GAVE ME? as a birthday present when i was 15? when you FUCKED HER?#THE HOLY CROSS MY CATHOLIC MOM GAVE ME? you wore it while i was MIA? inside a VAMPIRE?#oh i would never let that GO! if i were scully i would simply never let him live that down. it would be awkward asf between us for a bit#sighs. maybe i'm too petty. maybe i hold a grudge too deeply. all things that have been said about me before!#scully baby if ur reading this i would NEVER engage in any sort of recreational activity until i found u again okay? don't settle for less#juni's x files liveblog#2x07#txf#the x files
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husband? husband???
#HUSBAND#this scene is a veritable gold mine of screencap opportunities#i got several more and will be posting those because i am physically unable to stop#HE’S SO#he’s everything i could ever dream of#absolutely love the closer shots of him#one of my favorite fights in gladiator and i love how you really begin to see maximus finding himself again#he’s been fighting with pure anger and bitterness up until now#but now he’s revealed himself and he’s becoming maximus again#he’s very purposeful in this fight#he loses his footing and gets caught off guard by the tigers#but he’s so intentional with how he fights tigris and entertains the crowd#never flashy but at this point he’s aware of the crowd and playing to that#but let’s not get distracted from the main point which is HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT#i wish i was a sword getting gripped in those iron strong hands#i wish i was a grain of sand on his skin#can’t explain how much i need to leave marks down his back and neck and arms and everything else#i need to just COVER him with love and affection#i wish i had him in my arms right this second#just want to cover him with kisses and caresses and snuggles#he doesn’t need to be fighting in an arena#he needs to be hugged#precious love of my life so dear to my heart#one day i will find a way to truly express my love for him#until then: look at the sexy man#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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She’s the only woman ever. To me.
#she is the number one queen of my heart#if I wasn’t so dedicated to my already established brand I would alter my account to show that#but I am sexynetra the people know me#mayhaps I’ll change photos soon though#but I took my profile pic so I’m biased towards it#anyways#I love her so much#look how hot and sexy she is#:)#drag race#rpdr#RuPaul’s drag race#ukvtw2#ukvtw#drag race France#drf#La grande dame
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Main character lineup for a western AU of me and @gxdcomplex’s fantasy ocs! Celestine is a rancher, Atticus is his stablehand (who may or may not have a past he doesn’t want to talk about or why he’s run away from it) and Meadowlark is under their care.
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[Marrowsnap and Sienna are she/her, Carrion is they/she] And here are the Coyote Sisters’ leaders, the og coyote sisters! They lead a pack of werecoyotes (and all other people willing to travel with them who need a place to belong) and while they try to avoid conflict, they have some mischievous packmates who wind up out of line and go after a rancher’s herd or get into scuffles in town which is a headache for the Sisters to deal with. Because of this they often go head to head with Celestine and Atticus.
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Little unfinished comic I made about Sienna and Carrion finding a wanted poster about them. (Gristle was one of their packmates that tried to attack one of Celestine’s cows)
#I love… western au#my art#art#sketch#furry#idk what to call this AU like idk how to tag this#western au#cowboy oc#cow boy#unicorn oc#werewolf#werewolf oc#werecoyote#oc: marrowsnap#Oc: sienna#Oc: carrion#oc: celestine#oc: meadowlark#Oc: atticus#cowboy art#Im still not entirely sure the logistics of Meadowlark being technically Celestine’s cow boy (half cow half boy yeehaw)#Because this was originally just a one off little sexy idea like Woag what if my prince oc was a cowboy. What then#but now I am Too Invested and I’m giving it PLOT and BACKSTORY#and now outside of the kink setting it’s like well. It’s kind of weird. Is he like a cow? Or like a person? Do I commit to him being like a#cow? Or do I just make him like a person (who happens to be half cow) who does the farm cow thing for money as his job??#Yeah the last one seems best. Also easiest#bc I was looking at it. And on paper it’s weird that my poc character would be quote unquote “owned” by a very.. white oc#Taken quite literally bc Celestine has white fur all over ANYWAYS not the point the point is that it was getting kinda dangerously close to#the whole “POC character is treated more like an animal even though he’s basically the same amount of animal as everyone else and this#is normalized and also he is “owned” quote unquote by a very white character” trope and I Did Not Like That
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210926 deja vu ー san
#shrimp gifs#ateez#san#kpop#i am confused by how many people didn't like short bangs sanini because they apparently made his face look sharper. that's... that's bad HO#his angles and narrow eyes are sooooooo sexy they hit Fucken Jackpot on that one#plus you can see more of his face here + shorter hair in general makes the shape of his head pop + add clothes revealing soft skin to that#and you have a Perfect look both sexy and incredibly touchable. chefs kiss with tongue etc
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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ANDREW GARFIELD
for Esquire Magazine (backstage)
(X)
#andrew garfield#the side profile#his messy hair#his grey beard#this photoshoot is absolutely criminal#didn’t mean to moan like that my bad#why is he so cute and so hot at the same time#i'd like to run my fingers through your curls#i'm crying didn't say where#andrew garfield making it up how being sexy#the dilf-o-meter is broken#the things i'd would let andrew garfield do to me#thank you esquire magazine#i am deceased#absolutely breathtaking#he looks 🔥🔥🔥#he's so fucking sexy#esquire magazine#photoshoot#tasm peter parker#sincericida
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