#longish rant

[transmasc-miku]

Now that I'm an adult I have no fear pf being extremely pro lgbt on social media which has put my grandmother into some kind of spiral.

The past 5 days she's been sharing homophobic facebook posts like a child factory worker trying to support a family of 7 like.

I shared something that was basically like "if you have to pass laws to hurt a group of people to support your faith/morals then your faith/morals are bad" and she has been nonstop shilling them out for like an hour straight like give it a rest granny good lord

[raydoobles]

OH GOODNESS I JUST LOOKED AT THE TIME AND IT DAWNED ON ME THAT I'VE BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR 5 HOURS

Never again am i preparing for Fakeman Friday by drawing this thing on Whiteboard fox.

I did try something different though (it's just that I made his bow bigger bc he NEEDS a huge bow and i tried to somewhat mimic the way his eyes were drawn in clh compared to giving him the usual 'Rayman 3' style)

[rivkae-winters]

You Will Rot

I adore this entire scene and their entire exchange and there are plenty of other posts out there on it but I’ve never come across the points I wanted to make hence why I'm writing this. Specifically on the implications of exactly what rots since that latched into my brain and would not let me go.

As always: this is only my interpretation of canon, there is no one true analysis to take as gospel. In fact please interact with your thoughts if you have any! I enjoy talking to other people about this sort of thing, fandom is all about discussion after all!

My stance on this line is one of nuance. I tend to think Sephiroth chose the worst words he could think of without fully considering the full implications.  He said the thing he knew that would hurt Genesis the most after the entire conversation beforehand.

What does it mean to be told to rot? Or even so told you will rot. 

In the FF7 universe, most explicitly displayed in CC, bodies dissolve. Corpses, both monster and human, are depicted as dissolving to return to the Lifestream. This is re-confirmed in the remake. 

Rot is not a term for humans, it’s not a cultural concept the same way it is for us in the real world. To decay and decompose are not processes that sentient beings undergo.

Rot is something for objects- things that live but aren’t alive enough or connected enough quote-un-quote to return to the Lifestream in the same dramatic manner. Rot is for things like food and flowers and things that are below the level of humans or animals or anything with general sentience. 

Sephiroth is telling Genesis here, he is not just a monster: he is insignificant. He is telling Genesis that he is not enough of a sentient being to return to the Lifestream and he’ll continue falling apart in real time just like a piece of fruit left forgotten and rotting on the kitchen counter. He is telling Genesis that at the end of the day he’s already dead in every way that matters and is no longer a person. Sephiroth is telling Genesis that he will have no mercy given to him at the end of the day: he will rot and waste like an object lacking sentience and then he will be left there.

Sephiroth is digging into Genesis’s own deepest insecurities here. Genesis fears not just being irrelevant but being rendered a non-entity, to be kept or out of control. Genesis has defined his entire life as a journey to be someone to be enough to be someone worthy of love and praise and being seen. Objects aren’t people, and Genesis is an object to Sephiroth with that statement. 

The only person who could help him no longer considers him a person- nor a thing with sentience. 

Obviously this is all over analyzing Sephiroth’s dialogue. This line was said with calculation, yes, but it was also somewhat reflexive. Sephiroth is under a lot of stress in this scene and Genesis has been slinging everything he never wanted to be told at him in a single conversation. Genesis then has the audacity to try to act as if he did something good. While Sephiroth’s world is collapsing around him and his other defected friend acts like he did him a favor. Sephiroth is angry, who wouldn’t be angry. Sephiroth thought the world of Genesis prior to his defection, he thought the world of both of them and those illusions have been crashing down around him.

So he uses Genesis’s own grief over his former friend’s tattered life that manifests as self deprecation and self dehumanization against him. He confirms the de-humanizing rhetoric that Genesis has been attaching to his own existence. Sephiroth in his pain and anger pushes past the fears that Genesis has been externalizing to what he knows Genesis is truly afraid of. 

If Genesis considers himself a monster than by the standards of the person Sephiroth thought he knew he is already living out his worst fears. He is nothing, he is nothing without his mind. If Genesis wants to be what he once considered a non-entity: wants to wallow in the rot and non-personhood so much then he can. 

Sephiroth turns his back on, in his mind, the moving corpse of the long dead Genesis Rhapsodos and walks away. 

You will Rot You are Nothing

There is also something to be said here for the Kanji used in the original!

I’m not touching on this as much as I would have liked to but it would be criminal if I didn’t at least pull out a Kanji dictionary.

I pulled Sephiroth’s line from here; warning the website is not in English at all but easy enough to navigate via context/knowledge of story events and the characters' Japanese names. 

Sephiroth’s line is: 朽ち果てろ kuchihatero

This is translated in the official English release as “You will rot” and in a pre-US release fan translation from May of 2007 roughly the same way as “Go decay”

朽  Decay; Rot; Remain in Seclusion

果  Fruit; Reward; carry out; achieve; complete; end; finish; succeed

[1][2] [3 specifically for 朽][4 specifically for 果]

Thanks for reading!

[mylittleponyauprompts]

I’ve been thinking about cutie marks recently and I think it’s really weird how ponies view them when things like bad luck are an option for someone’s destiny. Couldn’t a destiny like that be considered a disability? Couldn’t Starlight Glimmers spell be altered to have positive medical effects in cases like Trouble Shoes? I just think Trouble Shoes shouldn’t have to live with bad luck for the rest of his life because destiny/fate dictate it and a mark on his butt say so. A pony with a cutie mark and destiny that might as well be a curse to them shouldn’t have to live with that.

There’s a cutie mark disease for crying out loud. Cutie pox is getting too many cutie marks. I think cutie marks are an important magical phenomenon that happens to ponies and it can have good or bad effects. And has magical illnesses and mutations surrounding it. Sometimes a pony can get something like bad luck as a “destiny” or get to many cutie marks, and maybe not get any at all.

Ponies view cutie marks as such an important part of being a pony that not having might as well be not being a pony. Don’t worry you’ll get one eventually! Or suck it up, it is your destiny chosen for you! I think Starlight Glimmer discovering the ability to remove cutie marks, and thus the magical powers it gives, probably changes many ponies views a lot. “I don’t have to live like this? There’s an experimental treatment?” And many probably look down on this. It causes magical fatigue. Your magic skills lower. Your ability to do anything in that field basically becomes nullified.

But if you had bad luck as a “destiny” or had multiple cutie marks where the only known cure for that was extremely rare and hard to get, wouldn’t Starlights spell be promising? Magical fatigue and some skills lost seems preferable.

And my biggest thing with this, is that Trouble Shoes got arrested for having bad luck if I’m remembering correctly. His destiny got him put in jail. And the solution is for him to become a rodeo clown? I just think it’s insulting to him. You’ve been getting arrested for property destruction and vandalism because of your destiny? Go to the circus! Become a clown! Trouble shoes deserves better

[shortystack75]

God maybe I'm just not seeing the majority or smthing but why am I only seeing people like Kaiser and ness' relationship MORE after the Kaiser baclstory chapters.

Like. I've ONLY seen people go "oh I hope ness NEVER leaves Kaiser 🥺🥺🥺 he NEEDS HIM"

Like. Did yall skip over the part where he EXPLICITLY learned psychology EXPLIXITY TO MANIPUALTE SOMEONE.

This manipulation isn't a natural outcome of his abusive childhood. He sought it OUT. His backstory DOES NOT excuse his behavior towards Ness. it EXPLAINS it yes, but that DOES NOT make it okay still.

Even of we take away the fact that he learned how to manipulate people on purpose, I STILL wouldn't say I want them to stay a a pair forever, bc if you ACTUALLY cared about Kaiser, you should want him to get better. To heal. And he CANNOT do that with his dynamic woth Ness. Ness is too malleable, hes too weak specifically for Kaiser in a way that Kaiser will not be able to change for the better, to get "redeemed" with Ness still here, acting as he normally does.

This is because Kaiser, whether consciously or subconsciously, is getting a sense of safety from the control he has over Ness. And he will not, can not give up that safety just to what? Have Ness be happier? To be a "better person"? We've already seen that he doesn't think he's a good person(he's cprrect) and doesn't care to et better because he fundamentally doesn't think he CAN be better. And his relationship with Ness(treating him bad) only emphasizes that thought process.

Yea no so yea I really want the duo to break apart for the good of the both of them, and if you cared about either of them you would too.

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

Honestly I really want to be able to side with Solas in dreadwolf. I think it'd be super interesting to play as an elf in Tevinter and be able to just go "yeah actually I think Fen'Harel is right let's tear down that veil." I mean I assume the main conflict will be Solas trying to convince your character to join him, or your character being told they have to try and stop him, and there are not enough games that let you side with the presented "villain" character. I want to see what the world is like with no veil I'm so interested. Also so interested to see what full-on Fen'Harel Solas is like. Is he still as empathetic? Or is he more conniving and distanced from "mortals" like the old stories would have us believe?

[scenicphoenix]

Rant about diabetes below (things that grind my gears about what people say, and just general health stuff I’ve been going through lately)

You can tell when people don’t know how diabetes works when they say stuff like a cheeseburger will give them diabetes. Fucker diabetes is a sugar and carb issue not a cholesterol issue. And you can’t GIVE yourself diabetes. Getting diabetes fully depends on your body’s genetics, like family history, or just being super unlucky when it comes to health lottery

You don’t get diabetes from being fat, it’s technically the opposite. Unexplained Weight gain and loss is a symptom.

You can’t get diabetes from eating too much of certain foods. Yes including the offending ones that are bad for diabetics. It’s about insulin production and sensitivity. Some people don’t produce insulin (type one). Some people are resistant to insulin (type two and what I have). Some people will be on medical insulin their entire lives. Sometimes you can manage it with diet changes (might as well be an eating disorder in my opinion but it keeps from dying via ice cream)

Too high or low of a blood sugar can cause a diabetic coma. So if you see a diabetic eating something sweet, it could be their daily treat they allow themselves because people deserve happiness, or they could be treating a low blood sugar.

bread is mean to me, bread is delicious. Why must this be so. Some foods are just unable to be replaced. My favorite cookie recipe <\3 I miss it

Learned I almost fucking went into coma range for blood sugars a while back. I was told the numbers by a nurse at my mental health center and not yooou know….MY FUCKING DOCTOR. I knew low blood sugar could potentially cause a coma, but my doctor didn’t think it important to tell the patient with high blood sugar problems that comas were possible with highs?! I could have fucking killed myself with fucking ice cream of all fucking things.

I’m lucky I found a substitute for pasta. A reasonably priced one anyway!

Plain white sandwich bread has decent substitutes but no more fresh bread for meee :(

I never thought I would miss eating cereal. I am jealous of people’s ability to eat cereal. Even the healthy ones have to many sugars or carbs. Usually carbs. But carbs break down into sugar really quickly, which is what makes them a moderation food category.

Everything breaks down into sugar/glucose technically. It’s the body’s preference on energy. But some foods break down slower than others allowing my slow ass insulin to actually work. Alongside the help of the medical insulin I was given.

I’m on insulin now! It took them long enough. I went from between 200 and 400 to between mid 100 to low 200! It’s funny how much better it when they actually started treating it, instead of just telling me to change my diet which I had been doing for fucking months and it wasn’t working. Strictest diet of my entire life, without the insulin it still was in the 300s and 400s. Like I think my insulin resistance is bad enough I NEED the medical insulin. I won’t be surprised if I am on it for the rest of my life

Lost a lot of comfort foods. Hit my depression hard. I am learning to deal with it. Food is expensive when you have dietary restrictions. I knew that before all of this. I honestly have to thank some of the fad diets for food availability. Sugar free and low carb food is a lot easier to find these days! I still don’t like fad diets all that much. But man, they do sometimes help people who have food restrictions for medical reasons by giving those greedy CEOs dollar bill eyes when they see the marketable trend. Food is still expensive tho

If a white sugar alternative says use it like real sugar (baking or sweetness wise) they are WRONG. A white sugar substitute I have is about the same sweetness, you might notice an aftertaste if you’re sensitive to stevia sweeteners, but it is powdery. Texture is wrong. Not even like powdered sugar. Like that fake snow powder before it gets rehydrated, or really fine potato flakes. Not good for baking. Only good for coffee. Wouldn’t recommend for fruit punch or teas. No/10 wouldn’t recommend if you’re looking for an actual white sugar substitute. If you need it for only coffee maybe/10 get a small amount first

Cooking has gotten more complicated lately 👍

My depression is sooooo happy about that (sarcasm)

[reshramlove1ob]

Ok I know I’ve joked about how Tang Xuan has been in so many event stories but like seriously? Dislyte really seriously has a story problem.

When I saw back to back events featuring some of the same espers, I was genuinely excited. I thought we finally had some sort of coherent, connected story unfolding. I genuinely thought Lian’s event was going to be about Tang Xuan finally getting a vacation, or something along those lines.

Obviously, that didn’t end up happening. Now we have a brand new story. I like Lian and Hilda all fine and dandy, but what happened to the Midnight Order? Why are we learning about some random girl who seems to be in a dream state?

Why does any of this matter?

Why should I, as a player, and the community, as the audience, care?

I do like Lian and Hilda, like I said, but know who I like even better?

Yuuhime.

She’s just…so much more interesting to me than Lian was in the endless summer event.

I just want a story that lasts longer than two patches. Bond tales, too. It’s just been sitting there, “coming soon!” When?? Its been longer than “soon.”

Dislyte has done enough worldbuilding. I, and I assume many other players, understand the world enough. Now do something with the established characters! We don’t need another fighter Esper when they’ll most likely be outclassed by Gaius or even Hyde.

I wanna see Heng Yue or Jacob or literally anyone else…or even bring back Tang Xuan for another Midnight Order centered event!

Anything other than introducing new ideas when there’s so many better existing ideas.

And no, story mode doesn’t count. It had basic ideas that did a fine enough job introducing the world.

[bisexual-panic]

so that finale huh…

don’t get me wrong having Loki become the god of stories is amazing but he is alone, completely alone on a throne he now realises he doesn’t even want

i was very upset with the lack of sylki which is why i am only posting now as my thoughts on the episode are clearer

i honestly did enjoy the episode but some parts were very boring and unnecessary to me, overall it can’t top season 1 for me and that may be because i had high hopes for this season but they completely pushed one of my fav characters to the side and (mostly) ignored my fav ship

after reflecting on it for awhile i could actually like it as a season if, and only if, they confirm a season 3 in which sylvie joins Loki and the season was just their awkward stage and they have now realised how much they care about each other

i’ll post more specific posts tomorrow but i don’t think i’ll keep this blog running for much longer as this blog is mostly based around sylki which is currently disappointing me (but if s3 is confirmed i might stick around a little longer) and because i think this is having a negative impact on my mental health

[tumblezwei]

Sometimes I feel like I'm being too harsh on the HSR fandom for it's poor reading comprehension

And then I go on twitter and see a post with thousands of likes and rts claiming that Argenti's hair was originally white and that it was dyed red from being soaked in his enemies' blood, all because of this line in his characters stories

And it's like. No. That's not what this is implying. You can't just say that like it's true.

[mothpdf]

claudia is literally so interesting bc we never really get to know her. shes so viscious in her diaries but our main impression is seeing how she plays into louis' perception of her (to an extent in both early books and the series). how much of herself is in either of those depictions? if you dont have any other outlet or the oportunity to just talk to people honestly all your bitterness can get distilled into say, a diary. taking the arrested development aspect attributed to rice-vampirism into account (not only your body but your mind is doomed to be the same as when you were turned) can either of those be judged as a measure of personhood. she was a child, you cant say a kid saying they hate their parents during a tantrum is an accurate depiction of their view of the world. children do catastrophize but shes also not really a child anymore. i absolutely believe she meant every word she wrote but you cant convince me she didn't care about either louis or lestat at all (as i have seen in some posts claim). what did she think about all this? what would her biography have been like? what would the vampire claudia have said about all these little pieces we get to see through other peoples eyes? what perspective would she have if she hadn't died when she did? shes a little kid shes a 80 year old vampire shes so much. i would have done drugs with her and kept her alive forever.

[dawntheduckrb]

Bio update, just for clarification :)

[ventrue-in-control]

@misericorsalvator

Henry Lewys Morgan Hunter of the south and centre of Cardiff

I Love henry soooo much that Im so happy I finished this piece. did I indulge with giving him salt and peper esque hair? yes. Thats the benefit of drawing. ALSO CAN WE APPRICIATE THE ONE WHITE STRAND? I LOOOOVE THAT TINY DETAIL. It worries jackie everytime he sees it as it shows henrys mortality but he also appriciates it for that same reason. Its asymetric and so very henry. ALSO I THINK THE HUNTER CODE SYMBOLS ARE SUCH A GREAT DESIGN LIKE WHO EVER MADE EM CHEFFS KISS TO THEM IM A BIIIG FAN

ANYWAYS HAVE THIS OTHER VERSION TOO

We love orange for hunters. also have some bops that makes me think of henry

yes I show me love and appriciation through music- know that if yall ever post music ive deff listened to it. it sparks joy

[xaren-jo]

.

had a falling out with a friend yesterday over her continuous shitting on cis people (among other things). supposedly they are the enemy and are oppressing us simply by existing. yes, even those who are just living their lives and minding their own business - cuz if you're not directly helping an oppressed group, you're participating in their oppression indirectly somehow (???). it's cishets and cishets only who came up with all things queerphobic in the first place; if one of our own perpetuates that crap, it's still the cishets' fault, the poor dear is just traumatized and lashing out. as for cis allies who do put their lives on the line for us - their efforts don't mean shit, because they're an outlier, and cis people "as a class" are still the oppressor anyway, so her hatred is justified.

and when i point out to her that appointing a broad, diverse group of people as the enemy helps no one, least of all herself, that's just me being purposefully obtuse and/or a traitor to my own people. and if i keep disagreeing with her, it's only to piss her off and to attack her.

and she's a radfem, so i knew what i was getting into from the start, but this is still just so frustrating. she's such a bright, passionate young woman. how can she be such an ass.

we had both legally transitioned at nearly the same time, pretty much in parallel but in different directions, and we supported each other as we navigated that whole ordeal. it hurts because i understand why she's so angry and why she's so scared, but she just. won't. listen. living with this hatred is hurting her, but she clings to it like a it's a damn lifeline. because being a hateful little gremlin and an anxious mess is the only appropriate/possible response to the current situation, i suppose. silly old me, what do i know.

i got it into my head that i have to help her because she's younger than me, and she's trying to do good for the community, and she's broke and hurt and has suicidal tendencies, but fff. i just can't do this anymore. i feel like crap almost every time we talk. the hatred and the fear just keep spilling out of her to land onto my head. it's like i'm a dumping ground or a fuckin outhouse or something. "oh, men are at the root of all evil, they just suck fundamentally because they're men - not trans men tho, and def not you, you're cool :)", "am i passing??? fuck, i have so much internalized transphobia. how's my woman voice??? i feel like i'm never gonna be a "real" woman, i need this and this surgery", "all sex work is rape, are you in support of rape???", "it's been five whole minutes, why aren't you answering me, i feel like we barely talk anymore :(", "i'm anxious, i'm terrified, i can't get out of the house. i'm taking a break from arguing with terrible people on the internet, it's been taking a toll on me - oh wait, nevermind, i'm back to arguing with terrible people on the internet, because SOMEONE HAS TO", she keeps telling me, day after day and week after week, nothing seems to change, "i want to kill myself right now - what do i want you to do with this information? i don't know, i guess i just want some support", "i remember you told me you feel like you're being used for your money and it makes you feel like crap, i feel so bad about this, but could you lend me some money???", and after i had just told her that i was kinda struggling financially at the moment - "oh, you're so boujee, you should give me money, hehehe :P", "i know this comes off as manipulative and i feel so bad about this, but i'm gonna do/say it anyway, please forgive me", and she begins to cry. "i got it into my head that you will save me - can you please save me?" - springing that shit on me in a public place, during a smoke break at a support group we both regularly attend, girl, wtf. how am i even supposed to respond to that. "let's drop the g and the l, this is a gay exclusionary support group - hehehe, jk, i just mean the cis gays of course :P i'm just mirroring the shit that gays say about us, it's fine", and now she's a moderator of said support group. just great.

AND forwarding me a bunch of articles and videos of trans people getting bashed (including one such video of herself), with no warning, because she's been gathering evidence to make her case for immigration, and she thought she should get it all in one place, that one place being my dms - i got so upset i was close to tears, i walked around in a daze for a week. AND THEN a week or so later forwarding me a bunch of transphobic death threats she's been getting, with, again, zero warning??? not the kind of light recreational reading i've been looking for, fuck you very much.

and again, this is frustrating because she's not a bad person, but damn. she's toxic. it feels like i'm a shitty friend, abandoning her for being inconvenient, but. fuck. i can't anymore. fuck it.

[daydreamdoodles]

I'm so. Angry.

[scenicphoenix]

Small rant/vent snippets about my own brain

The only times I eat vegetables lately are when my family cooks for me. My mom's vegetable soup is just as good as I remember as a kid

I wish i could make soup myself but you almost always have to make a huge amount and I always forget I have leftovers. Food is doomed to rot in my fridge

I wish I could cook and bake more often in general, people say my face lights up when talking about it, and god I'd love to cook and bake more often but my brain literally hates me and doesn't give me any motivation to do anything and i have to use what little energy i do get for the bare minimum

If i have extra motivation do i use it for fun or for more self maintenance? Should I play a video game, draw, or cook myself a hot meal. What about a shower or doing my laundry? If i have extra motivation What should it be used for, efficiency or pleasure. I'll feel guilt either way it doesn't matter. You didn't do chores with the motivation, feel guilty. You didn't do hobbies with motivation, feel guilty. What does my brain want exactly? It doesn't know either, it's just screaming.

I buy fresh produce in hopes I'll eat it. I love eating vegetables and fruit. I forget it exists and it rots. Only produce i feel confident buying is potatoes and onions knowing they won't seemingly rot immediately after being bought. Bananas really do show the inescapable passage of time

I'll do chores for my cat before I ever think about doing them for myself. Why does my brain not see self care as important compared to someone else. My cat is too small to do his own dishes or clean the floor, i need to keep this place clean for him.

I live in a shoe box, rent has gone up. I probably wouldn't be able to afford this place if it wasn't for it being disability housing. Apartments i could afford my cat wouldn't be allowed. Other apartments require so many hoops that disabled people have no chance at applying. Landlords are pieces of shit

People often forget that there is so many steps in doing even basic things. Cooking oatmeal can take many steps. Find pan, turn on stove, put water in pan, put on stove, let water boil, find and measure out oatmeal, put oatmeal in boiling water, stir oatmeal, cook and continue to stir oatmeal for amount of time needed, once done put oatmeal in bowl, stir in sugar and other stuff if wanted, go sit down with food, NOW you can eat your meal. Congratulations. Oatmeal can take many steps. For some people they don't notice all of them, they probably get the brain chemicals mine doesn't