#long tags lmao. learning stuff is hard

[impactrueno]

wait... spike when you tweeted on twitter about tagging stuff that veers on beetlebabes and how everyone feels about it, was that a built up for the april fools joke? thats why the post felt so authentic to me LOL

HAH nah i've asked this kind of thing before and mention it in the post i keep having to link whenever people ask me about the ship

(that post is a little long so here's the part i mean)

to be perfectly honest both of my april fools jokes were a very last minute thing (i didn't think i could come up with something good enough but ended up doing not one but two things, go figure)

the april fools post actually ended up serving as a mini social experiment because i ended up learning (well, confirming. human curiosity) that people who don't want to see it will click it anyway, despite the warnings. which makes me realize that no matter how hard i'd try to avoid making people uncomfortable with certain content, they would be looking at it anyway.

when i asked about tagging things, people simply said "if it's not shippy, just don't tag it" but like....that varies from person to person, because different people have different thresholds. some people didn't like that i drew them dancing at a fancy ball, for example. i personally think one can dance with their close friends (and coming from latino culture, in quinceañeras the birthday girl traditionally waltzes with her father, grandfathers, uncles, cousins and friends usually in that order) because that's not something inherently romantic to me. then there's other people who feel like kissing (like, on the mouth) can be done platonically with friends. qpps or whatever people call it these days. i'm sure some aroace people might feel similarly. so like i said, it varies.

and look, i can admit maybe i'm just way overthinking it lol. i tend to do that. i wouldn't be surprised if people read that last paragraph like "what is blud waffling about" but i thought i'd explain my thought process as to why i gotta make things more complicated than they need to be

anyway!!! i'm surprised you felt that the post felt authentic because i thought it was super goofy....on april fools too LMAO

[elainsgirl]

idk what i did for tumblr to do this to me but yikes. i usually only look at specific blogs i like for my acotar content. but today i felt like checking my fyp. and the stuff i saw shocked me.

i saw someone who finished acowar said they hate elain more than feyre and found her insufferable. first of all, you’re implying you don’t like feyre. okay so why read acotar? and three of the books at that? like leave, don’t do this to yourself lmao. second, elain killed the big bad in acowar. nesta and cassian would be history without her. where do you come off? show me where she was insufferable. because i can’t think of one single time she irritated me so i’m really curious to see what she did that bothered them.

another one said they reread acosf without first reading the og trilogy again and they said it’s crazy how you realize how horrible and abusive the IC is without the lingering empathy you have for them when you had just read the first three books… lingering empathy?… bro what??? anyone would seem like they’re being abusive if you take their actions out of context and don’t consider the backstory. but we have context. we have the luxury to know they weren’t being abusive but just trying to help the best way they knew how. and it was legit their last resort. surely their decision wasn’t an easy one to force nesta to the HOW (where she won’t be isolated and alone, the worst thing an addict can be), work in the library (which i thought was nice considering nesta finds comfort in books) and train (helped with her feelings of helplessness by learning how to defend herself). was it executed perfectly? no. but they were desperate and it’s hard to know how to properly deal with someone who is being extremely self-destructive if you haven’t dealt with it before. but it still got nesta to focus on things other than her bitterness and self hatred. it taught her self discipline. it led her to make genuine friends. if they hadn’t stepped in, these people’s favorite character would’ve eventually drank herself to death or gotten herself killed in some other dangerous situation. sorry but it’s the harsh truth. and the person said the IC abused nesta for acting mean and drinking when they also have acted just like her and worse. what? i know they party but i don’t recall them needlessly being cruel to their loved ones. then they said nesta should’ve burned the night court down at the end of acosf. tagged anti ic and anti everyone except azriel. i just know they’re a gwynriel or will become one just by looking at those tags.

i saw these two posts in only 15 seconds of scrolling. howwww are we still dealing with these people incapable of reading critically? why are you reading books where you hate 95% of the main characters? it’s one thing to like nesta and understand her, but these people are acting like she is the only victim and didn’t deserve what the IC “did to” her. if you ask me, i’d say they were too nice to her in the beginning. and it’s not like they didn’t try to include her. she pushed them away. i just know that’s how they are as people. bitter and angry at the world. but unlike nesta who learned to grow, her fanatic fans are stagnant, are usually gwynriels and quite frankly, poison the acotar fandom with their toxic takes

sorry for the long message. i needed to vent lol

This but w me on TikTok- every other video on there is about how horrible and disgusting people the IC are, Feyre’s the worst, Elains a manipulator - Nesta is a victim, Cass doesn’t deserve her etc etc. This is the sole reason I stay away from tiktok. I used to post on there everyday but it became so draining constantly having to see takes that just gave you headaches bcs of how ridiculous they are.

They find Elain insufferable bcs of her constant “crying” & “whining” in acowar where she was useless pining for a man who hated her. Because how dare she right? I mean, its not like the book prior to acowar - she was kidnapped, thrusted into a giant pot first not knowing what was going to happen to her - assualted and changed against her will into a foreign body and then given powers which put her into a camotose state and then she had to deal with the fact she lost everything she wanted, everything that was going to be hers including a marriage to the man she loves, a man who saw her. Nesta isolating herself, going off drinking at inns is a coping mechanism they can defend yet Elain being depressed & suicidal, being quiet and keeping to herself is apparently something they cant find the sympathy or even empathy to understand. Exactly. Do these people not realise how terrible they sound? And the thing is - Elain did SO MUCH in acowar. Stabbed Hybern, located the suriel, kicked HOUNDS of Az with her bare FEET. If any other fmc did such a thing they would be labelled a badass but Elain does not get that recognition. Also you’re literally right. If you hate the MAIN character of the series, why continue reading her books?

The IC are complex, flawed individuals. They make bad decisions but ultimately whatever they do is for the better good. Could they have handled the “rehab” situation better? Absolutely. But its done - it led to Nesta bettering herself and finding genuine friends. It literally ends off on Nesta and the IC being on good terms so exactly why should she burn the entire court to the grounds? Nesta isn’t perfect herself. She isn’t the victim in every single situation. Its done - their relationship will heal and become better. If you’re anti everything aside from one character maybe this series isn’t for you and thats ok. This is what I dont get about most Nesta stans, is they take defending Nesta so far to the point they distort every other character and scenario. Yep…like I say, its not a coincidence most elucien/gwynriel stans hate or the IC or the night court.

THIS. If I hated 90% of the characters in a series, you know what I’d do? Quit the series and leave the fandom. If I hated a direction a series is going in? Again. I’d quit the series instead of making such fanon, elaborate theories and HCs that I know will never happen. I feel like all these “critical” takes and hatred for most of the characters has led to the fandom being so insufferable and not an enjoyable experience to be in. When you look at that *side* which includes gwynriels and eluciens, its like they’ve read an entirely different series and they want such different outcomes compared to what the books have foreshadowed.

[fereldanwench]

I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

[wisdom-devotee]

Hello! So I'm gonna preface this with a bit about me: (im so sorry if this is long ;-;)

Despite being pagan for the last 10-ish years, I have consistently had issues around, I suppose, what "flavor" of pagan I am. I knew I learned towards witchcraft (which I am a witch, I make wards, do protection spells, make "potions" with herbal tea ingredients + intention, etc.) and things that are more nature based and some stuff around that, such as animism. I also believe in energies in general.

So safe to say, until like, now, I never looked hard into Hellenic Paganism (I dont want to say polytheism because it's only one deity I'm feeling a call towards). Some Celtic paganism, some undefined, but not this. I spent all this time just going "I'm pagan and a witch" lmao. I knew I didnt *need* to have a deity to have my own spirituality, but It never left my head completely. I even considered just..Gaia/the earth there for a while, but it didn't feel right.

That said, ever since I was a teen, I felt a call towards Dionysus. I had looked through So. Many. Deities online. He's the only one that stuck out to me. At first because of me being trans and queer overall. (Now it's a bit of everything, that, arts, nature, pleasure, love, etc.)It gave me a sense of comfort. But I felt self doubt so dropped it. Rinse and repeat over and over. Recently I decided to kind of stop..ignoring it? I suppose? I really think it's a call that I'm experiencing, and it always seems to come up even stronger than usual when I'm just feeling really lost and depressed. Recent events involving neglect, emotional abuse, and emotional cheating have really done a number.

So to my questions:

Is it okay for me to continue my regular witchy stuff and follow/worship a single Hellenic Deity? (Dionysus), and incorporate him in that? I haven't been able to find much about this yet

I have some stuff for an altar (general witchy stuff like a lil bowl), But I have a toddler so I don't have many places to set it up. Is there any resources you're aware of on altar set-ups and how to do lil ones? I don't want to have to pack it all up and bring it all out over and over. So even what I need as the BARE minimum to quickly set up would be nice. I usually just use this stuff when I'm doing spellwork as it helps with immersion, I suppose. I using my offering bowl to place spell ingredients in currently lol

Is it inaccurate to say that a deity such as Dionysus would want to help me grow, heal, and embrace all parts of myself?

Thank you, I hope this isn't too much! I have a lot of trauma around religion, sadly including paganism, and I just so much self doubt and anxiety around it, which really IS upsetting.

Hello! Welcome!!

It’s more than okay to continue witchy stuff while worshipping one of the Hellenic gods, and that’s actually what I did for a really long time — the first deity I worshipped was Nemesis, and I continued to practice paganism the entire time that I worshipped her. Eventually I stopped actively practicing paganism because my connection to it basically disappeared, but there are still a few things from paganism that I incorporate into my Helpol. Anyway, pretty much — yes. There are tons of people who do, the Hellenic paganism tag on here is full of them. And it is also okay imo to only worship one deity, as long as you acknowledge the existence of the others and are respectful about them.

In terms of altars, the first thing to note is that altars themselves are not essential. Offerings can be digital, they can be food, they can be clothing or jewellery, etc, and offerings serve one main purpose, which is to be somewhere to put offerings. But not all offerings would go there, and it’s enough to say ‘this is for Dionysus’. For me, I like having an altar because it feels like I’m making space for the deity in my life — but it is by no means essential.

So that means that nothing is *essential* for an altar either, and the bare minimum could literally be.. nothing. The bare minimum is that you make offerings and build kharis, altars are a formality.

But they are nice to have, so some basic things are an offering bowl (which you said you have) a candle, and a depiction of the diety if you’re lucky enough to find one that you like or make one that feels accurate.

I tried looking for info posts on small altars and things, but none were exactly what I was hoping for — there were extensive lists of altar decoration ideas, and a few people talking about where altars can be hidden, but I don’t think either of those are really what you’re after.

And as for your third question, I definitely believe so.

[knifemare-writing]

That's the Deal, Loser Rec List

A lot of people mentioned not being able to find other stuff like ttdl in their (super wonderful and appreciated) comments, so I asked if people would want a list of the stuff that inspired it. Enough people said yes for me to put in the work. I might come back and add more later if I'm reminded of other stuff, especially manga and comics I'm not as good at saving the ones I really like as I am with written stuff. If you come across this randomly, these are primarily bully x victim fics, heavy noncon warning for almost all of them. I mostly haven't bothered warning specifically about other things under the assumption that they'll be tagged on the fic itself but I haven't double checked the tags for every single fic so, keep yourself safe.

This first bullet point is a memorial to pivotal piece of inspiration that I learned was sadly deleted while making this list. Bathroom Stall, I won't shout out your author since I assume they no longer want to be associated with you, but this story wouldn't exist without you.

The Bully Wins - Multi chapter, porn and plot. one of the biggest inspirations, bully takes a depressed kid and makes him his pet + complicated friendship dynamics and social drama. sadly likely to remain unfinished given how long its been since the last update, but worth reading whats there anyway imo. Only written work on this list not on Ao3

The Bully - Two single chapter works, 9k and 4k respectively, first one porn and plot second one just plot. Well, okay actually basically no plot, but a lot of character stuff. Technically it's an x reader fic, but as someone who has a hard time grasping the core appeal of trying to project myself onto a character written by someone who doesn't even know me, it works totally fine as a second-person POV story about a character who's not the reader also lmao.

My Bully Boyfriend - Two works, one 3k single chapter and one 22k multi-chapter, first one mostly porn second one porn then a lot of plot, though still updating regularly enough I believe in their promise of more smut upcoming. One of the only M/F bully stories I've read where I actually like the core dynamic and characters lmao. Also one of very few pieces of porn with a trans girl in it I've found that didn't feel like the fact she was trans was intended as pure fetish. Or, not very few, but they're enough of a minority that I always feel like I'm gambling when I see the trans girl tag on a story and this one felt like winning big, Sophie is delightful.

Lurks' Bullying Tales: Episode 1 - Single chapter, 11k, porn and plot. This ones got a lot of stuff going on but the core dynamic of the bully who finds their fave loser in a tough situation and forcibly adopts/fucks them is a very strong point of inspiration for ttdl. This is clearly a world and characters that author knows a lot about, and in my opinion it does a pretty decent job showing enough about it to get the audience immersed without just info dumping. But if you're not into magical cyberpunk furries then it might not be for you. Also while TTDL is about teens, I don't ever give explicit ages, and this one does start to creep lower than I'm generally comfortable with, so if the fact that its all with people around the same age and has a very cartoony tone isn't enough to edge it into acceptability for you the way it is for me then that's extremely fair.

Degrees of Lewdity - Video game. Mostly text-based RPG with some visual aspects such as character creation/dress up stuff. Sandboxy open world game that mostly isn't that similar, but I felt the need to include it because the character Whitney, who's one of the love interests before and arguably after you start dating them. Gender, sexuality, etc. are all up to the player. One of the things that originally got me to come up with Jamie and Alex is I was thinking of scenarios between Whitney and my player character and was like 'this is getting out of character, I should make some new guys that fit this dynamic even though it's not actually that much different'. This mentality is probably why I have like five sets of bully/victim ocs fucking around in my head lmao.

New Friends - One chapter, 5k, mix of plot and porn. A fanfic of the above game between Whitney and one of the other love interests, Kylar. A good showcase of all of Whitney's worst traits (like, none of this is out of character but he also has some more positive traits lmao), and Kylar is very Alex-coded in this fic. Also sort of in the game but the fact that they're a yandere obsessed with the player character is so non-Alex-coded that its more obscured.

incompatibility - M/F, not quite a bully/victim fic but has a lot of the same dynamics as established relationships formed from a bully/victim pairing tend to have. While there are sex scenes, and some of them are quite hot, calling this erotica doesn't feel quite right. Should note that this is more realistic than a lot of these in a number of ways, and the catharsis feels more like a drama or a tragedy than a fantasy that gets dark sometimes. Like Wren, the equivalent to the bullying victim in most of these, straight up does not enjoy sex.

Mike & Erik - Killer Boyfriends - Two insanely long multi-chapter fics the first of which is completed and the second of which is ongoing. So this one's about serial killers. Not like 'they do some murders but they're all justified', Mike and Erik are genuinely really fucked up people. I love them and I want them to be happy lmao. The dynamics not quite the same, honestly its closer to like if Jamie wasn't popular and he and Desmond ended up hooking up. A comparison I feel bad for making even though Erik is literally a serial killer but I have yet to give Desmond a single redeeming quality lmao. Has the same type of large cast with complex social dynamics that I've been doing with TTDL though, and honestly I just feel like the vibes are similar lol.

fucked.exe - Multi-chapter ongoing, mix of porn and plot. Almost didn't include this one because it's by me but also if you like the other story I wrote you'll probably like this one too because it's by me lmao. The dynamic is flipped in that the dom is the nerd and the sub is the bully, but there's a lot of parallels that are embarrassing to me because I feel like I'm telling on myself but are probably fine. So like quiet grumpy sub x loud rambly dom, huge size, bully head over heels down so bad for the victim and the victim being confused and disbelieving and making fun of the bully for it, etc.

Emetophiliac - This ones gross! I like it but def not for everyone as I think you can guess just from the name lmao. Mostly smut. More of a one-off encounter than a relationship (though one can imagine it turning into more if like me you're kind of fucked up and insane) but what reminds me of TTDL in it is the way the bully is so into this thing about the victim that he finds really gross and upsetting and shameful, and how weird and out of nowhere his advances feel to the victim.

A Sadistic Bully and his Favourite Toy - Another gross one lol. Unfinished and likely to remain so given the last update time. It's pretty fun because the victim is into being bullied and humiliated right from the start and is mostly scared that about the bully finding out about that. But then it turns out the bully is also into it in a sex way and it becomes like a roleplay that they're carrying out publicly and actively hiding the fact that its consensual which I've always thought was a fun concept.

Magic & Boys - I'm gonna be really honest and kind of mean this one's straight up not that well written, plus its barely started and unlikely to ever be finished, plus the age gap is way bigger than I usually prefer with younger characters. But the bully character is really really hot to me, so I keep re-reading it anyways lmao.

The Werewolf's Bitch - Single chapter porn, x reader but detailed enough to read as a second person story about a character who isn't you like with The Bully. The victim does not come around within the course of this fic, they're basically just minding their own business then they get kidnapped by their bully from high school who doesn't bother explaining anything and is a werewolf now. The line "I'm your boyfriend and you're my property" or something like that is said and it's very hot to me especially because he doesn't bother to explain anything before then about why he's kidnapping them and the victim up until that point has no idea they're at all interested in them.

What Could Be Worse Than a Punch? - This is mostly your pretty classic 'sexual assault as a form of bullying' rather than the more complex dubcon stuff happening in TTDL, but the thing that really does it for me is that afterwards the victim asks "Why would you even do that?" and for the first time in the whole thing the bully is like caught off guard and is just kind of awkwardly like "I don't know, I just felt like it" and that's the shit I go insane for, I would read like eighty chapters of these two based mostly on that last little bit at the end.

okay i got all the like plot-centric ones with character dynamics and parallels I wanted to explain done already and I don't want to write more blurbs for the remaining smutty things that already have ao3 descriptions so i'm just gonna link the rest without comment. this isn't necessarily a sign that they're in anyway more or less important than the other mostly porn pieces I'm just tired and I've been procrastinating on finishing this for awhile lmao

Full-Body Workout

Damen & Jon

Locker Room Bully

What's Done is Done

[gingervitus]

First Line Game

oh man thank you @thatgaymerguyb for the tag. I had to think a lot about this before committing.

The game is to post the first line from your 10 most recent fics, and I counted back to find is mostly Dragon Age stuff, but we will dip our toes lightly into BG3.

What I've learned, though, is rather than finding a hard hitting creative first line, I prefer to reel people in by dumping them into dialogue. So there's that.

1. “I was thinking about something.” - Grief: In Three Phases (WIP) - a Davrook fic, where everything is sad.

2. When Davrin and Taash return from a training session in Rivain and Assan isn’t bouncing around the courtyard anxiously awaiting their return, he finds himself just the slightest bit concerned. - Wild Mountain Thyme (one-shot) - a little slice of life look at the Lighthouse while a very smitten Davrin searches for Rook and Assan

3. “I thought you might be up here.” - Beneath the Stone Fruit Trees (WIP) - a post-canon look at the life that unfurls for Lucanis and my canon Lucanis-mancing Rook, Ella. (Most of the rest of this are fics starring these two idiots)

4. A young woman sits in the heart of the Memorial Gardens quietly and by her lonesome. - A Circle Unbroken (one-shot) - my first weekend writing challenge that got out of hand lmao, but this is a look into long term Fade exposure, seen through the eyes of Ella's and Lucanis's daughter, Bea.*

5. "Up for a climb?" - A Long Fall Off a Tall Cliff (one-shot) - another slice of life in the Lighthouse/during some downtime between missions, this time between Ella and Lucanis

6. Rook stares at the small volume in her hands, the spine of which was carefully bound with intricately stitched thick deep burgundy thread. - Deals Between Friends (one-shot) - Spite takes Lucanis sleepwalking out of the pantry because he wants a chin scratch (that's most of it tbh)**

7. Oddly enough, the Lighthouse has proven to be more of a comfort than anticipated. - Solo en el Duelo (one-shot) - an early Lighthouse interaction between Rook and Lucanis

8. Ghilan’nain is dead. - Ópalo De Fuego (one-shot) - Rookanis but make Rook say "i love you" in the heat of the battle at Tearstone before she gets sucked into the Fade.

9. Rook passes through the doors of the dining hall with a lingering smile on her face and a set of empty plates in her hands. - Mariscos del Amor (one-shot) - my first DATV fic because I couldn't stop thinking about how I didn't believe that the post regret prison kiss was the first kiss between these two - I wrote most of this at work

10. Gale wasn’t sure what he had done in his past life that had deserved the reckoning he had received over the year prior, but whatever it was, an illithid tadpole seemed to be par for wretched course. - Under Cotton and Calicoes (WIP/On Hiatus) - ah, and here we are at our BG3 finale. This was meant to initially be a very long oneshot showing Gale and my Tav, Orla, falling in love over the course of the events of the game, but it spiraled into a multichapter fic about the very same thing. I could very feasibly end it where it is now, but it initially had two other chapters planned for it. Who knows, I may revisit it in the future.

I am so sorry to yap about each story, but I loved writing them all and like to give a blurb so no one else has to read what they might not be interested in, you know?

Also I am a professional yapper, so just know you will always get a paragraph answer when probably a sentence could do the trick

OKAY BYE. IF YOU SEE THIS AND WANT TO PLAY, THIS IS NOW YOUR TAG.

* I did a fair amount of light reading into radiation sickness and other chemical air exposure side effects - what I'm saying is this was so interesting to do light research for

** Ella's mother is a Nevarran mage, who knew Emmrich very briefly through mutual research

[one-annon]

hi I'm annon!!

I started tumblr as a artist but I guess I'm moving onto my writing too - I ask you to please be patient because I'm new to writing x readers n such but I will try my best!!

it's been quite a while since I wrote but I can do like 1k to 2k? longer than that might be a little hard for me (｀□´)

i dont have much else to say about myself! uh, ive been writing for a while now. i also do rps! if youd like to do any rps when the listed characters/movies, feel free to let me know!

my current hyperfixation; saw series!

next movie on my list; silence of the lambs!

【ＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲ　ＬＩＳＴ】

sawyer family (including the game characters!) - texas chainsaw massacre

hewitt family - texas chainsaw masscre remake

jason voorhees - friday the 13th series

michael myers (og and rz) - halloween series

laurie strode/angel myers (og and rz) - halloween series

billy lenz - black christmas 1974 (i will do 2006 version but mostly the 1974 version)

brahms heelshire - the boy

carrie white (and friends) - carrie (og and remakes)

scream team (billy, stu, randy, etc) - scream series (ive only seen 1 and 2 but im making my way through)

harry warden - my bloody valentine (og and remake)

sinclair brothers - house of wax

firefly family - house of 1000 corpses trilogy

dbd characters - dead by daylight

saw characters - any movie! this includes the scott tibbs documentary and saw .5!

herbert west and dan cain - reanimator

patrick bateman - american psycho

edgar, miles, and madeline - electric dreams

hal 9000, frank poole, and dave bowman - 2001: a space odyssey

anyone else you can think of! I'll try my best to learn the character :) these are just everyone I can think of at the moment! I'll do killers and survivors but I know people are more obsessive over the killers lmao

【ＷＩＬＬ　ＤＯ】

anything really..I don't have too many boundaries. I can do anything from hcs, scenarios (i.e. how would ____ react to ____?), smut, fluff, angst...the whole works

and even if you're willing to rant to me about your ocs I could whip up a oc x canon story! :)

also, depending on the media, im open to non horror writes!

if you ask me about my interests i will answer with essays! super into space, bugs, and south park! seriously i love these things guys i will talk about them for hours

【ＷＩＬＬ　ＮＯＴ　ＤＯ】

really not a lot to add here? maybe like...toilet related stuff for nsfw..

just the usuals - no incest (MAYBE for the sawyers since they are canonically inbred but its very situational), p3dophilia, b3astiality, etc etc

MASTERLIST!

GENERAL TAGS; #MANN GEGEN MANN! ➸ OOC/ANNON (also used for my rp blogs!) ↪ mann gegen mann - rammstein

#AND I KNOW WHY YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY MOTH MAN ➸ annons moths ↪ moth man - dirty bynum

#SEARCHIN! SEEK AND DESTROY! ➸ annons art ↪ seek & destroy - metallica

#my face is long forgotten my face is not my own ➸ ask games (again, also in my rp blogs!) ↪ am i evil? - diamond head

FANDOM TAGS;

#game over! ➸ saw writes ↪ jigsaw, apprentices

#i speak for the dead ➸ jigsaw legacy au ↪ logan nelson

#its a scream baby! ➸ scream writes ↪ stu macher

#you fudgepackers'll be the death of me yet! ➸ TCM writes ↪ drayton sawyer

#hey paul! ➸ american psycho writes ↪ patrick bateman

#hes dead?/not anymore... ➸ reanimator writes ↪ dan cain/herbert west

#love is give not take so im giving you madeline and taking myself away ➸ electric dreams writes ↪ edgar

#im afraid i cant do that dave ➸ space odyssey writes ↪ hal 9000 #you brought your dog? ➸ marble hornets/everymanhybrid writes ↪ alex kraile #dont let the bed drugs bite ➸ the mule writes ↪ det. tom croft #i love watching audiences scream ➸ stanheight stories ↪ leigh whannell lmao

#words are worth a thousand words too ➸ insidious writes ↪ steven "specs" fisher

#and the stars look very different today ➸ space talk ↪space oddity - david bowie

WRITING TAGS;

#HEY HEY HEY HEY! HEY STOOPID! ➸ annon writes ↪ hey stoopid! - alice cooper

#I WASNT EVEN A BILL I WAS JUST AN IDEA ➸ annons hcs ↪ im just a bill - school house rock (cover by deluxx folk implosion) #keeping our eyes close to whats going on on the screen ➸ angst writes ↪ slumber - sløtface

#ive got to have faith faith faith ➸ hurt with comfort writes ↪ faith - george michael (and cover by limp bizkit)

#quit actin like a bitch and makin up excuses ➸ hurt with no comfort ↪ i wish i was a riot grrrl - destructo disk

#call me on the line call me anytime ➸ fluff writes ↪ call me - blondie

#rein raus rein raus ➸ smut writes ↪ rein raus - rammstein

#so much for the golden future i cant even start ➸ annons drabbles ↪ breaking the law - judas priest

yeah! thats kinda it! I'll try to reply and write out requests as fast as I can

credit to; @strangergraphics for the awesome dividers!

FOLLOW ME ON MY SAW RP BLOGS!

@wr4th-of-the-gods@zippyzep@jigsaws-disciples

FOLLOW ME ON MY ART BLOG!

@annons-art

[snixx]

you know what it's 1:30am and quite literally no one cares but idk. the tags on my last post reminded me and I feel like rambling about something no one cares about and that's why I have a tumblr so why tf not lol

izzie taylor taught me that i could love.

ironic because the first person I ever loved fucking hates her guts and thinks she's toxic af lol. but cazzie meant the fucking world to me as a baby sapphic, not just because they were one of my first sapphic ships ever but because of how fucking relatable they were. they were messy ass teenagers and their chemistry felt so real. and fivel stewart (along with deepika padukone) is my #1 celeb crush of all time but Not The Point lmao.

like idk how to explain it because I'm obviously a much more stable person now than I was when I first got into the ship but the thing I love so much about izzie is how hard she tries to get fucking better. and how she apologizes and communicates when she fucks up no matter what. because the thing is she Does fuck up. a Lot. girlie has trauma and issues the size of jupiter and she has mood swings and bouts of shame and her "brain just betrays [her] sometimes" and she doesn't know how to handle it. she doesn't trust herself because she doesn't feel things consistently. and god did seeing her work her ass off to become a better person and get over her self-destructive tendencies to maintain a healthy relationship mean the world to 14 year old me. it kind of snapped me out of my self-hating cynical world view and gave me so much hope honestly. because back then I genuinely didn't believe I was capable of maintaining a healthy long term relationship (of any kind, not specifically romantic). I thought I would inevitably end up hurting everyone and the kindest option was to isolate myself forever. but the thing is. people need people to get better. sometimes you need to let people in. and izzie showed me that as long as I didn't stop trying and made sure to communicate openly and honestly no matter what, I could love people and be there for them too. and progress isn't linear. izzie does regress and fuck up over and over, but the thing is she LEARNS from her mistakes. she gets over herself and apologizes and does her best to make up for it. and she gets more stable with time, just like I did. it's not easy to realize your agency when you struggle with depression or ocd or bpd or whatever. but you do have agency. you just. have to keep trying. no matter how many times you fall on your face and fuck up. izzie showed me that it's worth trying, because you do get better. which is why she'll always be one of the characters closest to my heart. (and the ship. fucking ship of all time.)

anyway. here's my trying to be better as a fucked up mentally ill teenager playlist inspired by the one and only izzie taylor <3

and the companion casey-inspired playlist of loving someone who can and does hurt you because they're struggling with mental illness because you know they're trying and getting better and that they're worth it <3 (sidenote i could go On about the casey side of things forever too but. that's for another time lol. you don't have to put up with shit just because the other person is going through stuff that's not what I'm saying. it's more nuanced than that and I love how casey set boundaries for herself re: that buuuuuut i digress)

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[adorablebanite]

OC Deep Dive Questions

Thank you @hippotooth for the tag, and giving me more excuses to blab about my dumb girl!

I'd love to tag some folks, should they wish to partake (if they haven't already!) @newtia @beecreeper @obuoliukai @melvinthedepressedrobot @ennissg @sankttealeaf @forged-by-fire @forlornghosts @walkerdraws @lizziemajestic @archduchessgortash @archduchessgabrielle @elinorbard @sunflowergem @threeofswrds @arianiziolek @defira85 @lillietea @kawareo @toobisa @kaava @asteria49 @demong @aurorawintersnight @archduke-enver-gortash (I'm sorry if I missed anyone! I'd love to see EVERYONE'S response, if possible!

(I realize Tumblr doesn't let me tag more than a handful of people but i'm stubborn and will do it in the replies, lmao)

Questions/Answers for my beloved OC ~Lilla~ under the cut

Warning - she's literally just a "made in a lab for gortash" trope, so enjoy extreme self-indulgence!

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

I don't know if there's much in the way of common when it comes to BG3, but I suppose Lilla's actually fairly brave! She's a Banite after all - though it took some getting there. Honestly her worst fear is getting "fired" by the boss - but that's a given. Lady Orin actually terrifies her, and maybe Balthazar a bit, as well (he's just mostly stinky and smug, though.)

Do they have any pet peeves?

You'll be sick of hearing this already, but given Lilla's nature, her biggest pet peeve is when people don't cooperate with Gortash 😅

Honestly just general incompetence - her standards rival the Chosen's, which are basically impossible, so good luck!

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

An emerald silk bathrobe, an alchemy station stocked to the brim with all the good stuff, and a small library nook!

What do they notice first in a person?

Visually not much (unless she's attracted to them, in which case she's just like the rest of us and looks respectively, or otherwise 😉).

Believe it or not, she doesn't judge much based on looks; she's learned from the boss that every person has the potential to offer some skill or opportunity that could benefit the Banites and their chosen - so she's always looking to see what she can exploit or harness from someone, and to see if she can delegate their skills to Gortash's cause.

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Pretty high up there- gonna say at least an 8, but she's cheating because she was kind of intentionally 'made' that way. Once she got a pommel from a greatsword straight to the cheekbone during a tournament and she just kind of smiled bloody at the dude which freaked him the fuck out because she's so small and un-phased.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Depends on the pressure! She's survived/won a battle royal against some really grizzled Banites - though it may have mostly been luck -but it helped shape her ability to respond to fear fairly well! Again, the whole 'Banite blood' thing helps a lot!

She did have a massive panic attack when she thought her worst fear (see first question) was realized, which sent her into quite a state - so that would be the closes to fleeing she's ever gotten, really.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

If by "family" you mean "secret Banite sect at the outskirts of Calimport," then yes she comes from a fairly big family, but she doesn't remember them, since they erased her memory when she was five and gave her to an Ilmater orphanage (long story - sounds weird - it is). Not really a family person, but could be, if her path took a different turn! She's quite nurturing considering all things (Which may have been a point of contention with Bane, but she ultimately proved herself, eventually).

What animal represents them best?

This is such a hard question...I never considered. Hmm what could be considered regal and unhinged in the same stroke? Maybe I'll say Owl - because it's the symbol of knowledge, and she's a knowledge domain cleric? Also she can be fairly deadly if you let your guard down around her 😊 Also she doesn't shut up sometimes.

What is a smell they dislike?

Balthazar.

Have they broken any bones?

As mentioned before, she had her face smashed with a really heavy weapon. Would you be interested in a smol excerpt? (You get it regardless 😅 (as usual warning: amateur writing)

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Very prim, proper, and polite! Quite sweet as well! Unless you've said something uncouth about Lord Gortash (It is recommended to not do that around her).

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

She's extremely gort-coded, so whatever he wants (so both)

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Plump red berries are her favourite for reasons only the readers of AFI know :p. I don't know what she doesn't like! Maybe dirty/muddy meat and potatoes, which also only AFI readers will know why ^_^

Do they have any hobbies?

lol. lmao.

Alchemy I guess xD. Basically studying anything that makes her more competent/useful at her job.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

I think at first she'd think it was a waste of time, but she wouldn't admit that she loves it (and the attention).

Do they like to wear jewelery?

Yes! A black suede collar with a Banite charm! She switches it for an Ilmater charm when in public though >.>

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Very neat, very succinct, very efficient. Transcribing was the very first reason Gortash hired her - especially because she's able to use her Mage Hand to write (ie in unseen places for what may or may not be for spying purposes).

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

This is so lame and cringe but just general catharsis for fulfilling her purpose. It's a perk of the whole "made in a lab" trope. For a being conceived during a silly Banite ritual designed to make the perfect servant for Bane's chosen (whoever it should be at the time), she actually feels a great deal of love -it's up to individual philosophy if it's organic/genuine, or preprogrammed.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Emerald silk ^_^

What kind of accent do they have?

An English one, I dunno man. She grew up in an orphanage, but was taught by Ilmater nurses/clerics, so she sounds like a fancy lil bitch.

[ratsplendor]

Hi hello i read your fic on ao3 and leaving a comment on it wasn't enough to express my feelings. the level of insight and intelligence you have is insane. your mind is brilliant and wonderful.

i love market crash and its sequel, i think it's a brilliant and hilarious angle to approach house and wilson's relationship from. when I was re-reading it for the ump-teenth time and noticed it had a sequel i nearly had a heart attack! (nice work btw)

it works so so well with cannon to the point where it probably is in another world where the writers are more bold.

i love everyone that understands house is just a massive fucking brat that needs some stability and external support in his life.

im terrible with titles but i also loved your unconventional omegaverse fic. normally im not big on a/b/o because i don't like the dynamics it creates and it always feels kinda sexist, but i love that your wilson is still insanely respectful of house and house is still allowed his agency as a character. also few things are funnier to me than a fic tagged "no mpreg" lmao

basically thank you for your service to the world <3 you're making my uni summer holidays soooo much more entertaining

yooooo true story.. I write HTML every day as part of my fcuking job. & yet for three whole months. everything I posted. none of my social media links worked. I was missing one (1) single letter h . kill me

seriously tho I appreciate this so much. all of this to say I'm a massive dumbass and was not at all expecting my silly shenanigans in this fandom to enjoy the readership that they have. I mean y'all have surpassed my recent reylo stuff in terms of engagement, not that it matters, it's just a really hard thing to do and it means so much to me and I feel like we're all just having a really nice adventure together. it's like being in a living room having tea and parallel playing with the coolest ppl :) so thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

yeah house feels to me like the kind of high maintenance person who just needs a place they can let go. I'm that way. I hate to lose control but deep down inside I'm dying for somewhere I feel safe to give it up. while I've written a ton of d/s stuff, Hilson is one of the first times I've actually explored it from that pov: the "I'm tired, be my resting place" angle. there's just something so lonely about being the firebrand, so a hearth to lay it down on is sometimes the only thing between you and demise; not that I'm especially gifted, we're not the same in that regard, I just take on so much of everyone else's problems because if there's something I *can* do, I can't *not* do it. big ups to my spouse for being that place I can go, however brattily, to lay everything down.

whew. did not mean to expose my own baggage there. just meant to say that. idk. technically atoms never touch you know? we're made up of mostly empty space. when our bodies touch, our hearts cross that divide. that's what I really love to dig into. that's what erotica is to me. lol.

"some are wild" is the omegaverse fic (only writing it here so others can find it if they want); immediately before starting to write it, I had gone on a long, pseudo-philosophical rant on Bluesky about the patriarchy inherent in trad omegaverse. ironically I was in the midst of another doomed attempt to write reylo omegaverse, and over the course of both the Bluesky thread and my eventual discarding of said draft, I realized I'm just never gonna be able to write het omegaverse because of my own patriarchal hangups. hell. I live in the deep South of the US. shits too close to home.

so but then I was like "why tf do feral omegas get the knot cure, how about fuck you" and then I went and did all that. so yet again Hilson succeeds in excising the rot where other modes have failed.

every story teaches you something about yourself, and there are stories you can't write until you've learned certain things.

big props to everyone on Bluesky who puts up with my long ass threads about shit that probably isn't (always) that deep. and thank you, so so very fondly, dear reader, for loving the same way I do and enjoying what I make. and for your (hopeful) grace that I haven't really had a chance to let my ADHD meds kick in before answering this ask. lmfao ily 🤟

[purplesurveys]

1944

Is your closet disorganized? It's not at the moment. I do have a great talent at slowly making it more and more chaotic lol, but when that happens I just do a hard restart and fix it back to how the clothes should look like.

Have you ever been to Times Square? I haven't but I would love to. I feel like I'd really enjoy my time there.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? The only show I really ever enthusiastically rewatch would be Friends. I can't do that now, though, since they took it out of Netflix a few days ago. :( It's moving on Max when it launches in the Philippines later this month, and since I already have an HBO Go subscription (which will apparently rebrand into Max) I think I won't stay Friends-less for too long.

Have you ever accidentally left something valuable at a shop before? Not a shop, but I've left some stuff behind from events and never got to recover them. The things I feel most sorry for losing would be my pink Hydroflask tumbler (which I've had since college, so I was very attached to it huhu) + my power strip that I had bought just the day before.

What makes your life remarkable? Idk but I'm generally proud of myself for achieving as much as I have at 26 considering how shy I used to be or how much I really doubted myself since childhood. I still do...but I guess I'm just good at faking it till I make it.

Are you putting off doing anything that you really need to get done? Kind of, yeah.

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? Just work notes.

What are you currently listening to? I can hear the ceiling fan and a bit of my mom's TV upstairs, but other than that it's quiet.

How would you react in discovering your best friend was seriously obsessed with you? I'd tbh go straight to her fiance and ask what's going on and how I can help.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? No.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? No. I don't think I will.

Do you eat meat? Yes.

Do you get enough calcium? I like to think so. I drink milk everyday lol, for one.

Do you think before you act or speak? That's something I've definitely learned how to do more and more the older I've gotten and the more people I meet.

Do you have a SwagBucks account? I have no idea what that is.

Are you nosy? I could not care less.

Do you always try on clothes before purchasing them? No, it's such a hassle. I just pick something if I like it, find it in my size, and pay. Fitting takes such a long time considering I'll get it anyway lmao

Is there anything in your closet with the tags still on? I don't think so, no.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? It's the right size but I'm also looking forward to having a bigger room just for the sake of being able to experience having a spacious room.

Do you add people you don’t actually know on Facebook? No and I genuinely don't understand why others do that. Facebook, at least where I'm from, is different from other platforms in that it's designed for your personal network and keeping up to date with their lives. That said I uhhhh would have absolutely no reason to be adding strangers and knowing about their vacations or seeing their family photos. That idea is so weird...even stalkerish...to me.

What’s your favorite condiment? Mayonnaise. Chili garlic oil. Sesame oil!!!

Would you even want to know how much of your life has been spent online? Yes just out of curiosity but I know I'd be so ashamed of myself once I find out the number haha.

Do you shop at American Eagle? No.

List 5 things you’re afraid of: Losing a loved one, fire, cockroaches, rats, sharp objects.

Have you forgotten anything important recently? Ahaha last Wednesday I was out for a work meeting only to realize pretty late that I did not have either of my debit cards + my driver's license – I had transferred them into a smaller purse the other day when I went out for a family lunch and never got to place them back in my wallet. Fortunately I had my employee ID with me, but I still felt so stupid.

Would you say you’re an honest person? More often than not, yeah. If anything, I feel like I'm only ever dishonest toward myself – like about my personal feelings and frustrations and insecurities and such. In front of everyone else, though, I find it a waste of time to bullshit them.

The last Facebook message you received from the opposite sex, what did it say? It was just him telling me how to buy a PS5, haha.

What does the nicest message in your Facebook inbox say? I don't really keep track of stuff like that.

Is your best friend single? Nope.

What color was the ink of the last pen you wrote with? Black.

What does your pencil-case look like? I don't have one.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? Good question. I wanna say Amici? I've had their food before, but I've never actually dined in their restaurant. It was a pleasant experience and the servers were all very nice.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? Around a month ago when I asked for permission to use Tina's laptop since she has Canva premium on hers.

Who do you dislike the most? Explain what you dislike about that person. I don't like one of my uncles because he's always been a useless dad who's done nothing but drag my hardworking, self-made cousin down...he's also a terrible TERRIFUCKINGBLE husband and has never kept a stable job...not to mention the fact that he subscribes to Nazism? You're fucking Filipino, what the fuck are you doing being a Nazi hello ahahaha??? It's just so frustrating watching a man have no redeemable qualities whatso fucking ever lol

What’s the longest you’ve liked someone without doing anything about it? I dunno. Like 2, 3 months? I asked them out immediately as I wanted to give it a shot, at least.

Do you use straightening irons on your hair? What brand? No.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Single. At least I think she is. I don't pressure her to tell me anything.

Is there anything you would like to complain about? Yeah work sucks and I wish I could find something that brings me joy again.

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to? "Dearest, darling, my universe, would you take me along?"

Think of the person from your past that hurt you the most. Is there anything you would like to say to that person? No.

Does your mom like the last person you kissed? I knew she did.

Now your cell phone, what color is it? Light blue.

What was so special about today? The actual day sucked, but this evening I treated myself to sushi and found out that WWE Network is back in the country so I subscribed heheh. First thing I watched was Paul Heyman's HOF speech and let's just say I'm so glad I chose that.

If somebody tried to steal your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do? That's kind of happening already. Gut reaction was to talk shit about the person directly to Angela, especially because she was already crying about it so I had permission to be angry and petty lol.

What was the last thing you said to your mother? Can't remember exactly but she was asking me a luggage-related question since she'll be flying out with dad in the next two weeks, and I just answered her on that.

When was the last time you cried? LOL I teared up a bit watching Hello, Love, Goodbye this afternoon - but since I was watching with my sister and I never cry in front of family, I made up some bullshit excuse that I had to pee but really it was so that I could let it out in the bathroom hahaha

Has anyone made you upset lately? Not really, no.

What are you looking forward to? Seeing my dad. Not working in my workplace anymore...

Does anyone completely understand you? Sure.

Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Yeah.

Do you miss your past? I do miss some parts of it, but it's all in a nostalgic sense. I'm not like, caught up or feeling stuck in 2016 or anything like that.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? I do.

Are you a forgiving person? No.

Do you say sorry first? Yes, if I have to.

Do you like cats? I like cats now - Max helped me with that. I'm still very much a dog person but my previous slight dislike for cats is pretty much nonexistent now.

Has someone promised you something and broke it? Sure.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Just the pets.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? It doesn't, and unless it's coming from family I'd be a little pissed off if anyone would be calling that late. I would also 100% ignore the call.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? No.

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn’t? For a period of time I felt this way, but it's also been a long time since I got over it.

Are you anything like you were a year ago? Yeah, in that I'm still a ball of nerves and anxiety at work everyday.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Sure.

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone? I'd love to spend a day with friends, mainly because I already work from home 5 days a week and spend most of my time alone.

Think back to this time last year, were you happy? Not completely.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? Sure.

What should you be doing? I should be sleeping but like it's the weekend so I want to make the most of my precious free time before work shoots up my blood pressure again.

Describe how you feel right now in one word. Escaping.

What would you do if you found out one of your friends was going for the person you liked? I don't like anyone.

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or a sink? I can't drink from the sink in the first place; tap water is not a thing here.

Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? No.

Have you ever thrown your iPod in anger? I can't recall ever doing so.

Who did you last have a heart-to-heart conversation with? Angela.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Sorry, no.

Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you mad? Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo? Probably not. Needles be freaky.

[theskee]

20 Questions: Writing Edition

@ex-textura was out here sayin hey writer moots do a thing and so here i am. doin a thing.

How many works do you have on ao3?

126 on my main account.... Oh my god. Really? I both thought it was more and less lmao.

What’s your total ao3 word count?

2,305,664 send help fam i think this hobby rules my life

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Gratitude - A Shinsou/Bakugou Fic that takes place post-series when they're pro heroes dealing with being Queer and Stupid. I tagged it "idiots to lovers" for a reason.

As Luck Would Have It - MADMOON FIC. God. This fic really does just get a lot of love. It's just a series of drabbles inspired by the show and also the book. I have no idea why this was such a beloved fic but it was. Gratitude just barely edged it out a couple years ago.

Six Long Years - Missing scene Varric/M!Hawke fic that I wrote ages ago. ;w; AND HERE I AM WRITING DRAGON AGE YET AGAIN...

Idiosyncratic Routine - This is Endhawks breeding kink bird heat fic I am both surprised but also not surprised this found its way into my top 5.

Learning Curve - Smutty oneshot that is a sequel to Gratitude kind of. Mostly it was an excuse for me to write something with my dick that was just for me lol.

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, just Dragon Age. I tend to focus on one fandom at a time. But sometimes I noodle around with some Bloodweave here and there, some crossover stuff, and entertain the idea that one of these days I'm gonna write more of my Jojo's/ATSV crossover fic so I can continue to devolve into insanity over Jotaro/Miguel. A pairing for which One Fic exists. And it's the one I wrote. XD

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I try to respond to all my comments. Or if I get multiples from one person I'll try to reply to their most recent one for all the prior comments. But there are some fics that I can't bring myself to talk to people about anymore from my last fandom, so those comments have gone unanswered but that's something I put on the collection they're all in, so that hopefully people would know and not take it personally.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh. Hmm. I think probably What the Hell is Isekai (AKA: Miguel's Bizarre Adventure) probably counts as fic with angstiest ending. I count this one because it's not an Angst Fic but the ending is kind of bittersweet after a shitload of comedy. It's just. Sad. I write a lot of angst and heavy angst but I'm big on the happy/hopeful ending. This particular fic happened to go in the reverse. Happy with an Angst Ending. Kind of.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ooooh. HMMMM. Probably Gratitude. I wanna say that it really is one of the happy endings that hits the hardest for me.

Do you get hate on fics?

HA. Yeah. Absolutely. It's a thing that happens. Both on my main AO3 account and my alt accounts. It's thankfully infrequent and usually pretty laughable stuff.

Do you write smut?

Youbetchya.

Do you write crossovers?

Sure do! Well. Sort of. I have written One crossover. Most of the time if I'm gonna do something crossover-y what it actually is, is a reimagining of characters I'm playing with in a different world. Like I wrote this World of Warcraft AU fic this one time.... Ah. Never mind. Ima leave that alone actually.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. By my beta reader. Years and years ago. Yoinked right from under me and posted.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times! I think it comes with the territory of having been writing for so many years. A few to Chinese, and one to Russian!

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! Definitely. I'd like to do it more, honestly. c:

What’s your all time favourite ship?

All time? Oooh. It's hard to say. I think the ship that stands out in my heart, that is most beloved to me, that I find myself thinking on fondly again and again and again is probably Jack/Axton from Borderlands. But I hold a lot of fondness for all my ships I've loved over the years. My current fave is EmmCanis. c:

What’s the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Burn Before Reading. Like, I have a lot of unfinished WIPs but I really really loved that concept and want to continue it but I go where the brainworms lead me. This hobby is for fun, after all.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm a pretty decent writer with a well rounded skill set since I've been working at it for the better part of almost 22 years. I have a clear and defined style that I understand and know how to execute and I think that's a strength.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Motivation. It's always motivation. I can do the thing and do it well but to actually make myself do it? I'm either going 60MPH or not at all and I have a hard time being consistent with motivation. I'm workin on it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I tend to prefer just denoting a language shift and then italicizing for long swathes of dialogue in another language, rather than writing in a language I don't speak, so as to keep things clear for my readers, but also not butcher someone else's language. For one off words here and there or phrases that a character routinely says in canon, however, I will write it out.

First fandom you wrote for?

Gundam Wing, if we're gonna get specific. But it was never posted. First fandom I ever posted fic for was Death Note.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

To narrow it down, I'll say my favorite fic I've ever completed is a tie between What the Hell is Isekai and Tandemonium. The thing both of these have in common is I wrote them entirely for myself, my tastes, they're full of my own sense of humor. They made me laugh. They made me feel happy. I love the way they turned out. as for tagging!! ima tag @ghostoftheyear SHOW ME YOUR STATS HOMIE!!!! And any of my other moots who might wanna do it c:

[twelve-nights]

kin mem dump / i try to explain the mess that is my doll-solver timeline

Everything is under cut because this is going to be LONG. I apologize ahead of time for the likely disorganization lmao,, I don't have to energy to clean this up like a proper essay

"I" here refers to Doll btw,

It's probably obvious already but I was pretty canon divergent, although some of the things aren't confirmed or contradicted by canon, so I guess it could still be canon but probably unlikely.

I'll get to the weirdness with the Solver (and the "solver family tree" i made) at the end, so here's the other major differences:

The universe was a simulation. Or at least I'm pretty sure it was something like that. There's no way that the Solver should be able to change the properties of stuff using code or open up [null] black holes if it wasn't.

I became close friends with Uzi. Also I didn't die in episode 7. This friendship happened after what should've been ep 7 and it started after I let her keep the keybug after barging into her room. I remember telling her to talk to me later (which I honestly wasn't expecting her to do, but she did) after she told me that "[the keybug] was the only answer to what was wrong with [her]".

Yeva wasn't dead. I don't remember how I found her or when but she had survived in her core like Nori did. I'm pretty sure it happened at least a few months after Cabin Fever Labs though.

And finally, here is the "Solver family tree" and my attempt to explain it

Basically, the original Solver was copied into (infected) Cyn, which then mutated and became the thing in canon. Only Cyn's Solver and copies of that has an affection towards N/V/J/Tessa. That was later directly copied into Nori and Yeva during the experiments.

What the Crucifix Patch did in my canon was basically get rid of its "murder everything"ness and stopped a lot of the overheating problems (which in turn weakened it). I consider mine and Yeva's "strain" of it to be sort of separate from Cyn's, but since the virus doesn't just copy its "base code" and copies EVERYTHING into the new host (including memories), I do have a few snippets of memories from both Cyn and Yeva. This is also why Uzi's Solver has the same opinions towards N/V/J/Tessa.

Also, the Solver was a separate program and basically was like a half-person in your head fighting for control. Constantly. You overheat more than normal, even with Copper-9 being almost freezing

Anyways, Yeva and my copy of the Solver was a lot less murdery (although it still needed oil often) and we could kind of negotiate with it since it didn't want to murder everyone. I unfortunately did not learn this until after Cabin Fever Labs. Oops.

But yeah, I eventually formed a bit of an alliance with it and it would usually manifest itself as a security camera tail or wire coming out of my neck. Uzi's Solver fucking hated mine after realizing it was on our side and would try to fight it so much. Too many times did N and the others have to try to split us apart lmao,,

I have a bunch of other scattered memories that I'm not sure where I can fit an explanation here, so feel free to send in an ask or something :>

Oh yeah, I should probably explain why I say I kin the Solver.

Technically, I guess I'm only my own Solver but because that was a copy of an altered copy of an altered copy, I do have some memories from Cyn and Yeva. It's kind of just.. weird computer logistics...? So its easier to say I just kin the Solver than having to explain the weirdness of it in my canon lmao,, It's really hard to explain robot things in human terms lol,,

tagging @anon-coke since you were curious about this :}

[cordelia---rose]

15 questions for 15 friends

i was tagged by the wonderful @johaerys-writes, thank you so much!

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: nope! my mother found a book of rare names, wrote down a whole bunch, and my father only liked one of them. fun fact, only three people in the entire world have the same first name as me ⭐

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: oh man in terms of like any tears at all…like this morning because my PMDD is hitting me hard at the moment and i saw my dog being cute and it was all too much for me but in terms of a big, proper cry…probably a couple of weeks?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: i am actively filled with repulsion and dread at the thought of having children so it’s a good thing i don’t

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: i used to play hockey, netball, tennis and rounders at school and then whatever they made us do in PE but i’m not a huge sports person, especially not teams ones!

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: too much. i realised in my teens that if i’m deliberately deadpan and sarcastic all the time, people just think it’s funny and don’t look at me weirdly when i’m having an especially autistic day and can’t mask well because it just blends into my usual demeanour. everyone at work thinks i’m very dry and sarcastic when actually it’s mostly just me failing to understand social cues.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: gosh honestly i really don’t know. although i do pay a lot of attention to people’s smiles, i think you can learn a lot about a person by how they smile. whether it’s forced or natural, if their eyes smile too, if they hold their happiness back or let it come out unrestrained, etc., so i’ll go for smiles!

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: boring boring blue

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: can we not have both? i’ll always have to pick scary movies though because horror is my favourite genre, but i love a final girl ending!

ANY TALENTS?: ooh this is tough because for me a talent is something you’re just naturally good at, but the things that other people would probably say i have a natural talent for are my hobbies which i’ve worked at for a long time so i wouldn’t be able to say if it’s an innate talent or just a skill i’ve honed. i think i’ll probably say playing the double bass (or upright bass in the USA) - i tried it out at a musical open day thing at my school and decided i liked it, and then twelve weeks later i sat a music exam for it and passed with top marks despite it usually taking several years to get to that point!

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: england. i was doomed from the start.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: my main ones would be writing, reading, gaming, obsessively researching and then yapping about my special interests, and baking! i also do some crafty stuff when the mood strikes (i’m not really very good at it, but that’s chill, because it’s just for fun) and i’m not sure if it counts as a hobby but i love going on the trampoline!

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: i have my dog who is simultaneously the reason i get up in the mornings and the reason i don’t want to get up in the mornings, and also a crested gecko who mostly just vibes doing her own thing.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 5’7”/1.70m

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: this changed so drastically over the years! when i was younger it tended towards history, then when i started secondary school i still loved history but classics became my main area of interest, but after i decided i didn’t want to pursue a career in that field i cast about a little bit and realised that while i hated, like, plant biology and chemical reactions, i was really into specific aspects of science and that’s what i’m studying at uni now!

DREAM JOB?: forensic anthropologist, i’m undertaking my master’s in this and i really hope i get to have a career in this one day, it’s my life’s ambition.

Tagging (i barely talk to anyone on here lmao so it's definitely going to be fewer than 15! also there's with no pressure): @stressedanime @royalthorned @a-good-sandwich @toy-soldiering @claudiadiary

[nearsbday]

hello - this event is a wonderful idea, everything is so neatly organized, and i love the tumblr theme too! i would like to ask - am i mistaken in thinking an event like this pretty much consists of doing all this (wonderful) organization of the blog, the rules, the prompts - just leaving it all there for people to see, and then reblogging everyone's fanworks? (and of course, doing a great job at answering everyone's questions!) i've always been intimidated by how much work fandom events look to be, but it's occurred to me recently that a prompt-based, free-to-opt-in event like this doesn't involve all the job of putting out surveys and collecting their results, organizing teams of people, following up with unfulfilled submissions, etc. so i'm kind of hopeful i might be able to organize a similar event one day. you guys are doing it amazingly, it's no small job, but i was genuinely wondering because it also feels pretty achievable :) but of course that might be me being a bit naive. is there any other work behind the scenes? i'm honestly just curious to know how much work it takes either way! i've seen other people do a surprising amount of work for events like this - getting people to make countdown art, tons of surveys, interest checks, etc. did you guys also do something like that? do you think it is or is not strictly necessary for a prompt-based event? thank you so much in advance for replying, good luck with the event, and i hope it's a blast! (and i'm so sorry for being too long winded! i always get caught up in trying to clarify!)

HI! thank you for the question, and no worries about long-windedness. i'll do my best to answer your question. we did not do any surveys, because we had ideas for prompts already and wanted to use those! we also didn't really worry too much about doing a big interest check. i don't have a good explanation for that other than "personally knew enough people who were nominally interested to feel pretty good about it" lmao. if the event were more niche -- for example, if this were an event for a small ship, or a less popular character -- i think it would have been prudent / useful to do an interest check and to poll people for when they're available, but since Near is fairly popular (though arguably under-appreciated. in my totally non-biased opinion.) and his birthday is on a set date, interest wasn't too much of a concern, and the dates weren't too hard to land on, either.

so far, the graphics have been the largest amount of work, as well as thinking of how to organize and run things-- stuff like determining when to release prompts, how often / how to do promotion for the event, when to post reminders / countdowns, rules, submission guidelines, determining a tagging system for submissions once the event starts (we will be tagging with prompt, day, fan work format {fic vs art vs playlist etc}, whether or not it's sfw, username of the person submitting, and honestly probs at least one more thing i'm just forgetting rn)... so on and so forth. i have a lot of fun making graphics for fanfics and such, so i took charge of creating those, and what we have so far pretty easily took around... 14-16 hours? this is including things that aren't posted yet, like the graphics we have for each day of the event. i still have a few more graphics to make as well for things like the countdown :-)

it's hard for me to say how much work the rest will be, since it hasn't happened yet-- and since i imagine it'll depend on how much participation we get!! -- but, if you'd like to talk more about the set-up for an event like this, or if you'd like to hear what i think after the event is finished / listen to whatever lessons we end up learning from running our first event, feel free to reach out to me at @blondiest or @neallo <3 [i won't speak definitively for my co-runner, but i imagine she'd be happy to weigh in as well!]