#long night's moon 2017

[irmawrites]

Night encounter

Summary: Living in Dragonstone, claiming a dragon, it all seemed surreal to Ulf. Having a Targaryen princess in his bed all to himself even more so.

Rating: Explicit [18+], MDNI.

Pairing: Ulf the White x Targaryen!Reader (appearance isn’t specified, she's his niece but she could be Rhaenyra's daughter or Alicent's daughter, it’s all up to you)

TW: smut with a tiny bit of plot, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), p in v sex, slight degradation, corruption kink, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, dom/sub undertones, afab reader, not proofread.

Word count: 2017

Author’s note: hi everyone! Not too long ago I received the following request: "I was wondering if you would do one where Ulf is infatuated with the daughter of Rhaenyra and Harwin after meeting her after he claims Silverwing and could it possibly progress into smut?". To say that I was delighted to receive a request for Ulf would be an understatement. I am literally obsessed with this character and I really wanted to write something for him <3 HOWEVER I am incredibly sorry it's filthy, it's inappropriate, honestly I'm almost ashamed I wrote it ahaha

I should probably mention that English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse my grammar mistakes!

From the first moment he saw you, Ulf knew he had to have you. Such a sweet little thing, all soft smiles and happy giggles. A real ray of sunshine. He and you may have been related, but you couldn't have been more different. Uncle and niece like the moon and the sun. Where he was rude and boorish, you were polite and gentle. Where his lack of manners and unkempt appearance worked against him, your tact and polished looks made you stand out among all the inhabitants of Dragonstone.

But while he appreciated your sensitivity and gentleness, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like when he finally robbed you of your innocence.

And a little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him that it was just a facade, a role you only played in public. You weren't the perfect princess you pretended to be, of that he was almost certain. After all, hadn't he noticed your eyes wandering to his fingers several times while he licked off the meat juices that stained them? And then there was that one evening, during a meal, when your hand had wandered to his thigh. You had gently brushed his crotch, where a bulge was already stretching the linen of his breeches, without even looking at him, too busy laughing with Jacaerys. The older man remembered clearly how he had had to excuse himself in a hurry, feigning sudden fatigue and retreating to the chambers assigned to him. That night he had imagined your lips wrapped around his impossibly hard member, your silver curls between his fingers and your eyes locked with his as he pressed your nose against his pelvis, forcing you to take more, always more. He had come with a loud grunt, painting his palm white, and then swore he would have you. It was almost a matter of life and death for him at that point.

Perhaps the Seven had heard his plight, if they existed, for they soon offered him everything he wanted on a silver platter.

Claiming Silverwing was the achievement of a lifetime, and yet it seemed like a dull moment when he opened the door to his bedroom and found himself face to face with the woman he had been lusting after for weeks. Dressed in an almost transparent silk nightgown, you looked like one of his heated dreams. Instinctively, he even pinched the skin at the crook of his elbow to make sure it was all real and you weren't a figment of his wild imagination. "I couldn't sleep," he heard you say, your voice almost shy, "with this storm." Oh, but he knew that your nocturnal visit had nothing to do with the lightning that tore across the sky, or the thunder that shook the walls of the fortress. If you were there, it was simply because you too were unable to resist the tension between the two of you for a single minute longer. "Come in," his hand automatically came to rest on your waist to guide you inside, "I wouldn't want to keep a princess waiting".

If asked, Ulf wouldn't have been able to explain how he ended up in bed with your body pressed against his. Maybe it was you who had taken his hand and made him lie down beside you. Or maybe it was he who had persuaded you to slip into his arms, into his sheets, to find some welcome comfort. Everything seemed a blur now, especially as your buttocks pressed against his crotch.

You wiggled your hips. Maybe accidentally, maybe consciously, he didn't know, but the effect was the same. He could feel the warmth of your body under the layers of fabric, and he was desperate to show you what happened to women like you in the arms of men like him. It felt like a punishment, forcing himself to remain chaste and not give in to his desires in such a situation. Not to touch you when you were so close to him and his length was already so painfully hard.

He moved his lips to your ear, his breath caressing your skin. His hands slid down your chest and he let his thumbs lightly caress the two small, hardened buds. "Tell me to stop," he whispered as his fingers slid lower and lower, grazing the hem of your underwear in the hollow where your thigh met your hip, "tell me to stop if that's not what you want". "That's exactly what I want," your voice sounded like a breathless moan as your hand rested on his, as if to encourage him to give you more, " and I want you to continue."

The idea that he could take what he wanted, do what he wanted, made his head spin.

Between your legs, his fingers found your wet folds. "You're soaking wet," he breathed as he traced your slit from your entrance to that sensitive spot that sent shivers down your entire body, "we've barely started and you're already soaking wet." It was almost inconceivable that a beautiful, delicate princess like you would agree to give herself to a gruff old man like him. "How does it feel, here?", he asked as he kissed your neck, your back still pressed against his torso as his index finger circled your little pearl beneath the fabric of your underwear. "It's... It feels good", your voice was choked, a broken moan, "warm". Ulf gave an approving grunt. "And here?", his tone became more authoritative, and soon two of his fingers were inside you, stretching you just right. Tired of waiting, he barely gave you time to get used to the new sensation before he started moving back and forth, leaving you breathless. "Answer me". He could already feel you clenching around him, the friction against your inner walls something you'd never felt before. "I can feel your fingers inside me," you finally managed to answer, and to reward you he pressed a little harder against that sensitive spot that made you see stars, "I feel... full." He couldn't help smiling against the soft skin of your neck. "Don't worry, sweetheart," as if to back up his words, he pressed his fingers impossibly deeper, burying them in your wet warmth, "you'll feel even fuller soon."

He withdrew them almost immediately with an obscene noise. That would leave you empty, he knew, but he also knew that he wanted you to come around another part of his body for the first time, and not just on his fingers.

"Undress," the older man ordered, pointing vaguely with his chin at the little bit of clothing you were wearing. A satisfied smile appeared on his lips as you stood completely naked before him, kneeling between his thighs. "Such a pretty body," his voice sounded almost distracted, his fingers busy sliding down your sides as if to show you were to his liking, "a pretty mouth too, I wonder what it would look like around my cock." He saw you bite your lower lip before finally answering, emboldened: "Perhaps I could show you." Your hands rested first on his chest, brushing against the linen of the tunic he wore for the night. Then they slid lower, much lower, replaying a scene Ulf had seen a hundred times in his dreams. Your fingers undid the drawstring that held his breeches together and he had to remind himself not to make you pick up the pace, to give him what he wanted right then and there.

A curse escaped him as your hand finally wrapped around his manhood. It looked so big, massive, between your forefinger and thumb, which couldn't quite touch. And when your lips finally brushed the head, where he was already weeping for you, he threw his head back on the heavy silk pillows. It took all his strength and resilience not to close his eyes from the pleasure he felt from your back and forth movements and the wet warmth of your mouth. "You're doing so well," he growled as his hand made its way to the back of your head, finding refuge in your silver locks, "sucking my cock so well, like the perfect little whore you are." Around his member he could feel the vibrations of your audible moan. It seemed you liked it when people didn't really treat you like the princess you were supposed to be, but more like a cheap slut from a seedy pillow house. A discovery that couldn't have made him happier.

The vision was royal, the sensation divine. He felt like a king, he felt like a god, with a dragon under his feet and a Targaryen princess pleasuring him with her mouth. He had everything that he had ever wished for and yet he wanted more, needed more.

Bloody greed.

His grip on the back of your head tightened, forcing you back a few inches. His gaze fell on your red, swollen lips, glistening with spit and something else that testified to your sinful actions. You smiled at him, obviously proud of yourself, and he couldn't help but kiss you, tasting himself on your tongue. "On all fours," he ordered, right against the skin of your neck, his voice hoarse with desire. The order may have been short, the tone a little awkward, hurried, but you understood immediately what he was trying to tell you. With your face now pressed into the pillows and your hips raised, Ulf could hardly believe that this was your first time, and yet. One of his hands cupped his still aching manhood while the other gripped the flesh at your waist. Captivated by the sight of his member disappearing into your wet heat, his eyes couldn't leave the spot where the two of you were joined for a single second. "Fuck," he groaned as he gave you time to adjust to his presence, "such a tight cunt." Despite his vast experience, he had never tasted, never felt anything like this in his dull life of Flea Bottom brothel escapades and quick embraces with nameless prostitutes. Perhaps it was because he was now living with real royalty, or perhaps it was because your exchange was different, more intimate, almost affectionate.

He withdrew almost completely, the friction against your inner walls agonisingly delicious. Your juices had left his member soaked and glistening, a sight that drove him deeper into you this time, the headboard hitting the wall with a thud. "M... more," you begged as he pulled out again, your voice like a broken moan that made his head spin with desire and possessiveness. The older man was more than happy to comply, quickening the pace of his thrusts. Soon the pleasure became too strong, too great to articulate anything coherent. He wanted to tell you how good you felt, how perfect you really were around him, but the words remained stuck in his throat and only grunts managed to break through the barrier of his half-open lips. But you weren't any better. Beneath him you were a mess of moans and gasps, your fingers gripping the sheets tightly. You were close, he could tell, you had grown impossibly tight around him, and he was tired of making you wait. So, in an act of mercy, he let his own fingers slip between your thighs to briefly rub your pearl and finally, finally, push you over the edge. He joined you almost immediately, his approaching climax accelerated by the rhythmic clenching of your walls around him.

It was probably foolish to pour into you with white ropes, to fill you in a different way this time. But when exactly had Ulf ever been responsible? The sight was simply mesmerising, the mingled evidence of your release flowing from your still clenching hole as he withdrew. So divine that he could hardly tear his eyes away. And as you pressed against him, seeking the warmth of his arms, your noses brushing together in an achingly tender touch, he mused that he was prepared to do many more foolish things to keep a thing as sweet as you by his side.

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 30th

Body Worship, Papa Emeritus II x Catholic!Reader

Masterlist

Words: 4.1k.

Warnings: Body Worship (okay, turned out less body worship and more just worship in general but fuck it, I wanted to write it this way lmao); fingering; vaginal fingering; cunnilingus; marking; piv; vaginal sex; unprotected sex; praise kink; y’all this is soft soft, and I love it; religious symbolism; corruption kink; hair pulling; multiple orgasms;

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals @deetz-ghuleh @onlyhereforghost @zombiesnips-blog @saturnhas82moons

Author's Note: This is a continuation of October 3rd, so if you haven’t read that, please go and do so before you read this! Thanks!

Recommended listening: Chase Atlantic with their self-titled 2017 album.

🔞 MDNI 🔞

Under the cloak of night, he crept through the ancient cobblestone streets of Rome, heart pounding in his chest like a drumbeat of impending doom. The Vatican’s towering walls loomed before him, a fortress of faith and secrets. Driven by a love forbidden by both church and society, he had come to breach the sanctum’s impenetrable defenses.

His leather-soled shoes barely made a sound as he approached the towering stone wall that guarded the Vatican’s secrets. In the moon’s pale glow, he could make out the shadows of security guards patrolling the perimeter. He crouched low, his heart racing with each passing second, and carefully assessed their movements.

Timing was everything. With the precision of a cat, he found his moment when two guards turned their backs, engaged in hushed conversation. In one swift, heart-pounding motion, he scaled the wall, fingers gripping the rough stone edges, and muscles straining with urgency. His breath held, he cleared the top, dropping silently to the other side, where the hallowed ground of Vatican City stretched out before him. It was almost as if he could feel the soles of his feet burning as it touched the hallowed ground, and forced him to move forward quickly.

Silent as a whisper, he navigated the maze of corridors of the Vatican’s residential quarters. The opulence and history that surrounded him seemed at odds with the clandestine nature of his mission. Portraits of pontiffs from centuries past stared down at him from gilded frames, their judgmental eyes seemingly aware of his transgressions.

He moved with caution, avoiding the gaze of any servants or clergy members who might cross his path, clutching onto his Grucifix pendant in his thick hand in an attempt to shield his true identity. His knowledge of the Vatican’s layout was limited, but the urgency of his desire propelled him forward.

Finally, he found himself outside a front door, familiar to him only by the number he’d been given. He knew this was where you resided, his forbidden lover, a cardinal of the church with all the responsibilities but none of the titles or accolades. With trembling hands, he reached for the doorknob, his heart pounding louder than the sacred hymns echoing through the Vatican’s hallowed halls.

The room was bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, casting dancing shadows on the richly adorned tapestries that lined the walls. He had finally found your apartments, and with a mixture of apprehension and longing, he pushed the door open, revealing the inner sanctum of the Pope’s daughter.

Inside, you sat at a writing desk, the dim light revealing the weariness etched into your features. Your modest dress hung off your frame just as pristine as you liked it. You looked up from your work, your eyes widening in shock and disbelief as they met his.

Time seemed to stand still as your gazes locked. Words failed you both, as the weight of your forbidden rendezvous hung heavy in the air. You stood from your seat slowly eyes fixed on the now cocky Secondo whose arms were outstretched as though he wanted you to run to him and welcome him into your home. Run to him you did, but no words of welcome were exchanged.

Your palms reached his shoulders and with a force, you pushed him, anger now taking hold of your body. “What are you doing here!?” You hissed, clearly livid by his intrusion. This was not how he wanted things to go. “My father will be here any minute! What do you think he’d do if he found a Cardinal of the Satanic Church in his daughter’s room?”

Secondo grinned, his black upper lip stretching into a lacivious smile. “Hopefully he’d understand my intensions and close the door behind him.”

Your hand connected with his cheek, a red mark forming instantly. Just as you were about to lay into him, you heard a familiar voice sounding from the entryway. “___?” Your father had arrived.

Secondo’s eyes widened, now understanding the gravity of the situation. Though the Catholic church was supposed to be a pinnacle of moral upstanding, it wasn’t uncommon for Popes to take drastic measures to protect their Papacy, even if it meant defying their God’s wishes. Thou shalt not murder - unless of course they pose a threat to your power and need to be eradicated. Secondo knew that given he was a footsoldier of the Devil, a Satanic rat sent to plague the people with “immorality”, your father would have no problem crucifying him on the steps of St. Peter’s Basilica.

“Hide!” You shout-whispered, your panic even greater than Secondo’s.

Secondo wasted no more time, diving into your bedroom and throwing himself under your bed, thankful that you didn’t use it as storage. He did so at just the right time, because while he couldn’t see your father from his position, he could hear him and he was right where Secondo had stood just thirty seconds prior.

“What are you doing in here?” Your father asked, his tone certainly suspicious. “Why didn’t you come when I called?”

“Sorry, father, I was doing some work. Correspondances.”

Your father hummed in acknowledgement. “There’s a meeting tomorrow morning at ten o’clock. We’re gathering officials to discuss how we’re going to remove the vermin.”

Secondo didn’t need to visit the Vatican often to know that the vermin your father was referring to was the Satanic Church. He rolled his eyes and contorted his face to childishly mimic and mock your father - though he knew no one could see him, it was a knee-jerk reaction and he thought it was funny.

You hesitated before you spoke. “Yes, father.”

“Something you want to say?”

There were, in fact, several things you wanted to say to your father and none of them were kind. After spending as much time as you did with Secondo, you had grown to understand that they weren’t the monsters you used to fear and that the way your father and other members of your church talked about them was terrifying. You wanted to yell at your father for not treating you as you deserved, as well. How you were always promoted within the church, but could never retain the title as “women didn’t hold powerful positions”. But he had no problem using you to benefit his politics and Papacy. But all your thoughts would fall on deaf ears, and so you settled on a, “No, father.”

“Excellent. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

As the Pope finally left the room, you sank back against the door you had closed behind him, your emotions in turmoil. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to collect yourself. That was the moment Secondo had been waiting for. He emerged from his hiding spot, his presence a comfort and a promise in the midst of your forbidden… whatever this was. The silence between you was palpable, broken only by the flickering candles and the distant echoes of Vatican life outside your apartment. He watched as you composed yourself, trying to calm yourself of the anger your father had left you with only to feel it flare up when you saw the Satanic Cardinal standing in your bedroom doorway.

“Why did you come here?” You quietly shouted at him, anger ever present in your voice. “You know what would happen to you if someone saw you - what would happen to me, too!”

You stood there, lecturing him about his behaviour, hands flailing about the room in your frustration and a small amount of hatred dancing in your eyes. As you unleashed your fury, your words cutting through the air like a storm, he couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the raw beauty of your anger. Your eyes blazed with intensity, your voice resonated with passion, and your fierce determination only made you more captivating. In that moment, your rage seemed to enhance your allure, and he found himself irresistibly drawn to you. Never had he seen a woman before so beautiful than you in that moment.

He thought back to when he first met you, how your anger and hatred towards him had fuelled his lust, and how it forced him to act against his better judgement to take your virginity on a desk that didn’t belong to him in the bowls of the Ministry.

Caught between the tumultuous emotions swirling around them, he took a step closer, unable to resist the magnetic pull of your presence. Your anger had laid bare the depth of your relationship, and he knew that your illicit connection was a flame that refused to be extinguished. As you continued to vent your frustrations, he reached out, gently taking your face into his hands and pressing his lips against yours, silencing you, a fervent promise that he would stand with you against all odds, consequences be damned.

You pushed against him at first, not because you didn’t want to kiss him, but because he had the nerve to silence you when you were talking. But the more you melted into his arms, the less resistance you put up, and allowed yourself to be caught by him as you began to fall from grace. Though your descent from righteousness started when you gave yourself to him, it was that kiss that solidified your feelings, and made you realise that however much you loved your God, you were sure you loved Secondo more.

Passions grew when he pressed you against your door, trapping you between him and the wood. His hands moved from your face, down your arms, and tickled at the bare skin until he finally settled at your hips. Your hands gripped at his cassock, holding on tightly and pulling him as close as he could possibly be to you, but even then that wasn’t close enough. His kisses ignited a fire in you that shouldn’t have been lit in the first place, and had you submitting and bending to his wishes willingly. When his fingers tightened on your hips and began lifting your dress, you let him. When his tongue begged for entrance to your mouth, you let it. When his hand found the gusset of your panties, you spread your legs to allow him easy access. When he dipped below the waistband, and stroked a tentative finger over your clit, you moaned into his mouth to encourage him to do it again.

In this moment, he wasn’t a servant of Satan. He was yours. Your ardent and eager slave, a genie sent to grant all of your wishes even if you didn’t know that he had them. His lips travelled South from yours, roaming over vast expanses of your body in search of a single destination. He moved to your jaw, your neck, your clothed dress, your stomach, hips, thighs. He dropped to his knees in front of you, his glove-covered fingers pulling your panties down with him as he knelt before you. You watched him hesitate for a moment, before wide eyes stared up at you as if to plead with you to grant him permission. His eyes were mismatched and popped against his Cardinal paints, a gentle yet emblazoned fire in his eyes as he waited for you. You couldn’t say no; you simply didn’t want to. You needed him probably more than he needed you. You nodded.

He gently lifted your leg in his hands and kissed it from ankle to knee. The higher up his lips went, the more passionately he kissed, and once more he played using his tongue. But now, in addition to kissing, he started sucking, leaving a trail of numerous dark brown hickeys on your thigh. No one would be able to see them here, but every time you caught a glimpse of your naked body, you would be reminded of them. Of him. Of what he did to you and the shame that was supposed to come with it. Shame that you refused to feel because that would imply you regretted letting him have his way with you. But even when you were worshipping your Lord, when you were in the confessional booth, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret your actions.

He immediately dove in and started licking and sucking at your clit. He forgot to take it easy and instead allowed himself to just take from you what he wanted because he was so desperate and needy for your taste. He was encouraged to continue his movements by the faint and low whimpers that escaped from your partially opened mouth.

“Yes! Just like that!” Due to the strong suction he applied, you whispered, ending your sentence with a particularly breathy moan.

One of your hands flew to his head, gripping onto his hat and throwing it to the side allowing you to rest your hand there, pushing his face into your heat. Your hips bucked in pleasure, riding his tongue and taking what you needed from him. “Secondo!” The hand that wasn’t resting on his head flew up to your mouth, covering your exceptionally desperate moans as you came on his tongue, silencing yourself as much as you could so the Clergy wouldn’t hear your pleasure from the other side of the door.

When your orgasm had completely subsided, Secondo released you from his suctioned hold, his chin glistening with your juices and a small grin on his face. That grin altered your brain chemistry and instilled a confidence in you that you didn’t know you had. You pulled him by his cassock back to his feet and crashed your lips against his, kissing him much harder than before. You could taste yourself in his mouth, your own essence moving onto your tastebuds and heightening your arousal. Your hand gripped onto his and pulled off the first glove, still with your lips attached to his, and once it was off his hand, you threw it somewhere in the room. The second glove met the same fate.

You pushed him away from you and pulled at your zipper, undoing the dress and letting it pool around your feet. Your bra was the next to go, falling to the floor and exposing your breasts to him. You stood completely bare in front of him, looking at his face as his eyes ran over your body, drinking in every part of you he could see and committing it to memory. You then took his hand and walked him to the bedroom.

Before today, all your secret meetings had taken place after or during official meetings between your churches, sneaking off while representatives met to discuss peace or something redundant that both sides would ignore. Your meetings had been limited, but over the course of that week had been frequent. Yet for each of your encounters together, Secondo had taken charge. Despite how much he degraded you, how disrespectful his words were, you had grown to trust him entirely. He would never push you passed your limits, or do something to deliberately hurt you that you hadn’t already asked for or expressed your wish to try. Though he always used his experience to heighten yours, you were very much the pace-setter.

This was never more evident by his willingness for you to push him down onto the bed once his cassock and underwear was on your bedroom floor. How he happily lay on his back and watched you crawl up his body, tongue laving over his hairy stomach and chest and driving you further upwards. In your hubris, as your mouths connected in a passionate kiss, you took his length into your hands and lined him up with your sopping entrance, preparing both of you for the stretch you were about to experience. You felt Secondo’s hands move to your hips, supporting you as you sunk down onto him, taking him inside you in one fell swoop. This motion had you both breaking the kiss, mouths falling open in a perfect ‘o’ and your eyebrows raising while his furrowed, darkening his eyes.

You sat up, taking him even further down, and when you bounced for the first time, you ripped a growl from his throat. His back arched, his fingers tightened their grip on your hips. “Fuck!” He gasped when you did it again.

Your inexperience made it difficult for you to find a rhythm, your hands falling to his stomach to support you but failing to give you both the pleasure you needed. Secondo changed your motions for you, instead of helping you bounce, he used his hands to move you back and forth. “No, grind on me, little lamb.” He told you. You found a rhythm pretty quickly. “Just like that. Good girl.”

This position had your clit rubbing against his pubic mound and his cock moving inside you perfectly. The slight upwards curvature of him meant that each time you moved back, he hit that sweet spot inside you and caused you to cry out.

The more you moved, the more confident you became in your ability and allowed you to relax and just feel him - feeling the way he felt inside you, hitting your walls with each movement, his hands gripping onto you tight enough to leave more marks for you to admire later. While your eyes were closed in pleasure, his were wide open, drinking in every inch of your body and admiring you from below. He got to see you in your full glory, breasts bouncing with each thrust, thighs jiggling, mouth agape in ecstasy. The placement of your bed in the room in contrast with the overhead light created an ethereal glow, almost giving you a perfect halo around your head.

An angel.

You were an angel - you were his angel. The once good, Catholic girl who he loathed to look at, who made his life Hell in all the wrong ways. The righteous child who preached to those who didn’t want it, who was so sure in her decisions being the right one, now warmly accepting her mortal enemy into her body without much of a second thought. Now giving into temptation and pleasuring herself, against the will of her Lord, with the very man her book warned her about. The daughter of God using the son of Lucifer to commit sin after sin within the walls of the most hallowed building. It was almost as if he could feel your soul tainting with each thrust of your hips, your purity disintegrating along with his willpower each time a moan fell from your lips.

“Please,” you whimpered, “talk to me. Like you normally would.”

Degrade you? Now? He couldn’t possibly. He couldn’t find it within himself to tear you apart when you looked as you did: red-faced, sweating, panting and gasping for air as you felt him all the way up in your stomach. “I can’t.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Why?” He didn’t answer at first, hoping you’d drop this crusade. But you were determined to get what you wanted and so, you stopped moving. “Why?”

“Little lamb, move.”

“Why?”

He lifted your hips a little more and tried to thrust into you, but you fought against him. “For fuck sake!” He sat up, his nose mere centimetres from yours, his eyes burning with anger and lust, pupils blown so far out the colour had disappeared entirely. His hand moved to the back of your head and pulled at the roots of your hair, lips brushing against your neck as he spoke, “Because you are divine. Move, please.” When he lay back down you picked the pace back up exactly how you did before you stopped, working towards your orgasm. His eyes remained on you the whole time. “You want me to tell you how sinful you are, hm? How much of a bad girl you are for defying your Lord?”

“Yes!”

“I won’t. I won’t use the same words that they do. Fucking shit! I can’t use those words when Lilith herself blessed you with ethereal beauty. When she placed her most beautiful creation on this Earth to walk amongst the mortals; art amongst the rats. I will not degrade one who was made to conquer men.”

You were breathless, both from the exertion and his words. “I c-conquered you?”

“Body, mind, soul,” he gripped hold of your hand and pulled it to his rest on chest, “and heart.” Your eyes met his in surprise, and your body shook as though electricity was running through it. “Conquered and enslaved. I will forever be yours, and worship you like the goddess you are.”

His large hand that had completely covered yours moved up your arm and began to rub both of his around your body, gripping onto pieces and stroking gently.

“Secondo!”

By the way your walls were fluttering around him, he knew you were almost at your peak. “Cum for me, little lamb. Bless me with your holy water.”

This orgasm was much more intense than your first, your body shaking and your eyes glazing over. Your back arched as it washed over you, your fingers digging into his arms and leaving half-moon prints in his skin. “Fuck!” You screamed softly, like your body had just been plunged into cold water.

“That’s it. That’s right. Give it to me.”

“Secondo! Oh my God!”

He pushed you off his cock and put you on the bed beside him, turning you to lie flat on your stomach. Your hips were lifted just enough for a pillow to sit below you, then you felt him mount you from behind, draping his entire body over you. His lips found their way to your ear as his cock lined up with your hole once more. “Your God doesn’t deserve you.” He told you as he entered you again, pressing you against the mattress. His hand found yours and interlocked his fingers with yours as he began to thrust into you, moving at a similar pace to when he usually fucked you. Hard, fast, dirty. But this time there was something new, something tender in the way he touched you, the way his other hand rested atop your hip.

“I will forever get on my knees for you,” he told you between grunts, “and worship between these hallowed walls.” He kissed your shoulder blades. “I will thank you for all that you give me. I am yours.”

“I’m yours, Secondo.” You turned your head to capture his lips and give him a deep kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth as his cock continued to slide in and out of your tight, wet heat.

He surrounded you, every inch of his body running against yours and trapping you between him and the mattress in a way you’d never felt before - making you feel safe. His words told you that you were loved, despite the violent speed they ran through your head as he occupied every inch of your mind. His scent, woody and musky, filled your nose. His grunts and growls swallowed by your mouth in your unbroken, needy kiss. He loved you. He’d risen to catch you as you’d fallen for him. In that moment, nothing else mattered. God and Satan be damned. They’d ruled your lives too much, you both deserved this.

“Cum for me.” You whispered into his lips. “Give it to me, give me everything.”

“Where can I cum?”

“Inside me. I wanna feel you inside me.”

“Fucking hell!”

His hips snapped faster and more erratically until eventually he pushed himself as far as he could inside you, painting your walls with his cum. His eyes were tightly shut and a growl escaped him. He could feel his heart in his throat. His fingers tightened around yours when he came, gripping onto you and never wanting to let go.

As he came down from his high, he peppered your skin with kisses, black Cardinal paints very much wiped away at this point and his body exhausted from the exertion. He stayed inside you, softening with each passing second but not wanting to leave the warmth of your body just yet. You didn’t want him to, either. But it had to happen eventually. He rolled off you, but kept his hand on your hip as he did and rolled you with him, wrapping you up in his capable arms and holding you close.

The later into the night it got, he knew he’d have to leave the Vatican and wait to see you for who knew how long, and that thought hurt him more than he could possibly. He did everything he could to commit you to memory; how you looked, felt, smelled. He needed something to see him through until the next time you managed to see him. And so, he held you close, doing his best to fight off sleep.

That was until your voice broke the silence. “How would the Ministry feel if I left with you tonight?”

Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

[writingmochi]

i only said | a visualizer and a teaser

cast: soobin ✗ fem.reader

synopsis: as you stood on the crowded train while making eye contact with the boy from the neighboring school. light shines into the dim train car as it becomes empty and filled with sand. approaching you is a humanoid figure, who calls you the king and queen of viliya—the island kingdom that is plagued with nightmares that haunt its people which you and the boy are also not immune to

genre: two lost souls find comfort, silent lovers, magical realism, meet ugly, hurt/comfort, adventure, thriller, coming of age, romance, high school au (both are 19 and in senior year), late 2010s au, modern royalty au, angst, fluff, mature content (phobias, trauma, war, explicit smut)

inspired by: music my bloody valentine's "i only said" (1991), txt's 2019-2020 star seekers music videos ("nap of the star", "magic island", "eternally"), and movies bridge to terabithia (2007) and tigers are not afraid (2017)

word count: 361 (teaser)

release: will not write so i can shock you ;) but it's going to be in 2024

message from the moon: i've been noticing a drought of epic and fantastical txt fics lately. so, i'm gonna do it myself :]

p.s. yes, late 2010s are already nostalgic enough that it can be its own au with its own style and tech

part of the loveless anthology

you always experience something weird when the train is nearing cheongdam. it is as if your senses are being attacked in a sweep when goosebumps form in a wave before it calms down. then it starts again as the train approaches the outdoor part of its journey to cross the body of water. the lights inside start to flicker as you see outside to view the han river from under the bridge, yet sometimes, it's not a river, but a beach.

the sky is the clear turquoise blue that reflects the seawater. the view of the river bank turns into sand that's lining the barrier of land and sea. you could sometimes hear the sound of crashing waves from it even if you only see the setting sky as it changes from day to night. though now, that turquoise sky is getting darker and darker, even darker than the sunset you usually see when you cross on the hanging tracks from the cheongdam bridge to ttukseom park.

then you see it: the visions.

quick timelapse of the neon street, crumbling buildings crashing down as their support couldn't hold on, humanoid beings who can fly as they attacked something dark. only the color orange highlights everything before you see flickers of a woman with long platinum blonde locks and white dress, calling out your name as your eyes are trying to focus on her heterochromia ones.

you've always held onto the nearest surface as you glance at the dots turning red between cheongdam and ttukseom park stations, breathing in and out as you felt your palm getting sweatier when you felt the whole compartment seemed to shake more and more as you approached the bridge and let the light from outside coming in. recently, the shakiness is getting rougher and the vision more frequent. but, you've always try to comfort yourself and see the boy across from you if he is okay.

because it seems like you're not the only one to notice all the things you've experienced, especially when you see him mumbling whilst staring at the red dots lighting up on top of the door when the train approaches the bridge.

taglist: @raeyunshm @leilasmom @evidive @boba-beom @kwiwin @heesw1fe @aloverga @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @blurryriki @amazzwon @stayzentiny @rebsmoonn @angelbythewindow @ttyunz @itzzz-yerin @shinrjj

© writingmochi on tumblr, 2021-2024. all rights reserved

[jbaileyfansite]

Bridgerton’s Jonathan Bailey is to play Richard II in a new production of Shakespeare’s history play directed by Nicholas Hytner at the Bridge theatre in London.

It will reunite the star with Hytner, whose version of Othello at the National Theatre in 2013 featured Bailey as Cassio. Bailey also played Edgar opposite Ian McKellen’s King Lear at Chichester Festival theatre in 2017. But the part of the Plantagenet monarch will be the highest profile Shakespeare role to date for the actor, who is best known for playing Lord Anthony Bridgerton in Netflix’s blockbuster period drama. Performances will begin at the Bridge on 10 February.

The question asked by Shakespeare’s Richard II, said Hytner, is: “What do you do when a ruler is absolutely inadequate? How do you get rid of the rightful leader?” The play has an ambiguity characteristic of Shakespeare, who does not “give us his own opinion”, said Hytner. “On the one hand, the play endorses Richard’s right to rule and on the other hand it appears to endorse [his adversary] Bolingbroke’s greater capacity to rule.” The production will reveal “a feudal world on the cusp of modernity” he said.

It will be designed by Bob Crowley and staged in what Hytner described as “a cross between in-the-round and traverse”, rather than the immersive, promenade style of Hytner’s Julius Caesar and A Midsummer Night’s Dream, which brought audiences up close to the actors at the Bridge. “Richard II has a delicacy and interiority that isn’t going to respond to that kind of treatment,” he said, adding that the theatre – which opened by Tower Bridge in 2017 – is a very flexible space.

Richard II will follow Guys and Dolls which has run at the venue since March 2023 and will have its last performance on 4 January. “We didn’t think it would last as long as it did,” said Hytner, who explained that the long run of the widely acclaimed musical had given the theatre “a bit of financial stability”. He wanted to stage a musical in the same spirit in which he had done Julius Caesar and A Midsummer Night’s Dream: “Guys and Dolls was the right choice for that kind of treatment, because it has a big, robust heart and there’s a direct appeal to the audience, a connection that allows you to plunge straight into it.”

The Bridge is the flagship venue of London Theatre Company which was founded by Hytner and Nick Starr. Its other space is Lightroom in King’s Cross, where an immersive David Hockney exhibition has returned for another run, alongside a multimedia experience about the Apollo Moon landings. It will eventually host live performance too. “The very long term plan is that it’s a theatre, but it’s working so well and we have so many things in the pipeline in that [multimedia] form that I can’t say when,” said Hytner.

Richard II will be at the Bridge theatre, London, from 10 February to 10 May

Source

[book--brackets]

Dragonkeeper Chronicles by Donita K. Paul (2004-2008)

When Kale, a slave girl, finds a dragon egg, she is given the unexpected opportunity to become a servant to Paladin. But on her way to The Hall, where she was to be trained, Kale runs into danger. Rescued by a small band of Paladin's servants, Kale is turned from her destination. 

Feeling afraid and unprepared, Kale embarks on a perilous quest to find the meech dragon egg stolen by the foul Wizard Risto. But their journey is threatened when a key member of the party is captured, leaving the remaining companions to find the Wizard Fenworth, attempt an impossible rescue, and recover the egg--whose true value they have not begun to suspect.

Clocktaur War by T. Kingfisher (2017-2018)

A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It's not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher's new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager's city.

If they succeed, rewards and pardons await, but that requires a long journey through enemy territory, directly into the capital. It also requires them to refrain from killing each other along the way At turns darkly comic and touching, Clockwork Boys puts together a broken group of people trying to make the most of the rest of their lives as they drive forward on their suicide mission.

The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon (1988-1989)

Paksenarrion — Paks for short — is somebody special. She knows it, even if nobody else does yet. No way will she follow her father's orders to marry the pig farmer down the road. She's off to join the army, even if it means she can never see her family again.

And so her adventure begins... the adventure that transforms her into a hero remembered in songs, chosen by the gods to restore a lost ruler to his throne.

Here is her tale as she lived it.

Paks is trained as a mercenary, blooded, and introduced to the life of a soldier . . . and to the followers of Gird, the soldier's god.

Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica by James A. Owen (2006-2016)

An unusual murder brings together three strangers, John, Jack, and Charles, on a rainy night in London during the first World War. An eccentric little man called Bert tells them that they are now the caretakers of the Imaginarium Geographica -- an atlas of all the lands that have ever existed in myth and legend, fable and fairy tale. These lands, Bert claims, can be traveled to in his ship the Indigo Dragon, one of only seven vessels that is able to cross the Frontier between worlds into the Archipelago of Dreams.

Pursued by strange and terrifying creatures, the companions flee London aboard the Dragonship. Traveling to the very realm of the imagination itself, they must learn to overcome their fears and trust in one another if they are to defeat the dark forces that threaten the destiny of two worlds. And in the process, they will share a great adventure filled with clues that lead readers to the surprise revelation of the legendary storytellers these men will one day become.

Dragon Jousters by Mercedes Lackey (2003-2006)

The first book in this thrilling new series introduces us to a young slave who dreams of becoming a jouster-one of the few warriors who can actually ride a flying dragon. And so, in secret, he begins to raise his own dragon...

Frontier Magic by Patricia C. Wrede (2009-2012)

Eff was born a thirteenth child. Her twin brother, Lan, is the seventh son of a seventh son. This means he's supposed to possess amazing talent -- and she's supposed to bring only bad things to her family and her town. Undeterred, her family moves to the frontier, where her father will be a professor of magic at a school perilously close to the magical divide that separates settlers from the beasts of the wild.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan (2017)

The Borderlands aren’t like anywhere else. Don’t try to smuggle a phone or any other piece of technology over the wall that marks the Border ― unless you enjoy a fireworks display in your backpack. (Ballpoint pens are okay.) There are elves, harpies, and ― best of all as far as Elliot is concerned ― mermaids.  "Serene," said Serene. "My full name is Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle." Elliot? Who’s Elliot? Elliot is thirteen years old. He’s smart and just a tiny bit obnoxious. Sometimes more than a tiny bit. When his class goes on a field trip and he can see a wall that no one else can see, he is given the chance to go to school in the Borderlands. It turns out that on the other side of the wall, classes involve a lot more weaponry and fitness training and fewer mermaids than he expected. On the other hand, there’s Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle, an elven warrior who is more beautiful than anyone Elliot has ever seen, and then there’s her human friend Luke: sunny, blond, and annoyingly likeable. There are lots of interesting books. There’s even the chance Elliot might be able to change the world. In Other Lands is the exhilarating new book from beloved and bestselling author Sarah Rees Brennan. It’s a novel about surviving four years in the most unusual of schools, about friendship, falling in love, diplomacy, and finding your own place in the world ― even if it means giving up your phone.

Iron Butterfly by Chanda Hahn (2012-2014)

Imprisoned, starved and left with no memories, Thalia awakens to find herself at the mercy of an evil cult known as the Septori. Their leader has chosen Thalia as the test subject for a torture device of untold power, designed to change and twist her into something that is neither human nor Denai.

Escaping, Thalia finds an unwilling warrior to protect her and an unlikely Denai to befriend her. After finding a home at the Citadel as a servant, Thalia’s worst nightmare comes to life and she begins to show signs of power. Scared and unable to control her gifts, she tries to hide her past to fit in among the Denai. But the Septori want their latest test subject back and will stop at nothing to retrieve her, dead or alive.

Old Magic by Marianna Curley (2000)

Jarrod Thornton is mesmerizing, but Kate Warren doesn’t know why.

Jarrod is the clumsy new boy at school that Kate can’t take her eyes off, and it’s not just because he has amazing eyes, but because she senses something different about him, and when he inadvertently blows up the classroom, she knows exactly what it is. He has powers like her, except he doesn’t know it and Kate sets out to show him. On their journey of discovery Kate learns Jarrod has an ancient curse on his family that will keep hurting his little brother and parents if they don’t do something to remove it.

Faerie Tale by Raymond E. Feist (1988)

Successful screenwriter Phil Hastings decides to move his family from sunny California to a ramshackle farmhouse in New York State. The idea is to take some time out, relax and pick up the threads of his career as a novelist. Good plan, bad choice. The place they choose is surrounded by ancient woodland. The house they choose is the centrepoint of a centuries-old evil intent on making its presence felt to intruders.

[talonabraxas]

Pisces Portal Talon Abraxas Pisces Super Moon Lunar Eclipse September 2024

September 17th, 2024, brings both a Lunar Eclipse and a Super Moon, making it a rare and special Super Moon Lunar Eclipse! This will be a partial Eclipse, so we will still be able to see the Moon bright and strong in our night sky. Take a moment to look up at Mother Moon in all her strength – what message is she sharing with you?

Themes of the Pisces Super Moon Lunar Eclipse

Falling at 23 degrees of Pisces, this Lunar Eclipse holds the theme of breakthroughs and endings. As Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, we may see this mirrored in our experience of it. Something may come to an endpoint in our lives, or we may find that something is illuminated, allowing us to see things we didn’t see before. Alternatively, we may reach a point of wholeness, allowing us to recognize the full story or cycle of whatever we have been going through.

Lunar Eclipses tend to close doors that we have had difficulty closing ourselves. Sometimes, the endings they bring come as no surprise and simply give us a little push in a direction we were already hoping to travel. Other times however, they can bring swift endings that shake up our lives in an unseen way!

As this is a Partial Lunar Eclipse, and one of the weakest Eclipses we can experience, for most of us, the ending we experience may be one that we have seen coming for a while. Any breakthroughs are also likely to point us in the direction of closure, even if things feel uncomfortable at first.

It’s always worthwhile remembering that Eclipses tend to bring fated events and always put us where we need to be, even if we don’t like it at first!

As Pisces is ruled by water, we may be feeling extra emotional and sensitive at this time. Whatever unfolds under this September Eclipse may also result in a deep and long healing period, where we will have to be patient and allow things time to regenerate.

Pisces energy moves slowly as it works on the deepest fabrics of our being, so there is this sense that whatever unfolds will take time to process and digest.

Welcome to a New Eclipse Cycle

The position of the Lunar Nodes is what gives us our Eclipse cycle. Since 2023, the Lunar Nodes have been traveling in Aries and Libra, giving us Eclipses in these two signs. But this September Eclipse doesn’t fall in alignment with the Nodes, instead it falls in Pisces.

This happens when we are at a transitionary point. We are now wrapping up the Aries-Libra Eclipses and getting ready to enter the Virgo-Pisces Eclipse cycle.

While this Virgo-Pisces Eclipse cycle won’t really spring into action until next year, this is our first taste of what’s to come.

The last time we experienced the Virgo-Pisces Eclipse cycle was back in November 2015- May 2017, so you can think back to this time to see what themes may have been showing up for you. Remember, it’s not that the same things will happen again, but you can think of it as reaching a new evolution of whatever was going on for you at that time.

While this Eclipse is connected to the Eclipses we had back in March and April of this year, it is more of an introduction to what is ahead for the new Virgo-Pisces Eclipse cycle, which will run until February 2027.

The Virgo-Pisces Eclipses tend to stir matters relating to our health, wellbeing, and spirituality. We are guided to focus on the finer details and to get organized. It is also a highly creative Eclipse cycle that can stir new innovations, inspirations, and visions.

A Super Moon Eclipse is our Portal to the Divine

Super Moons happen when the Moon is nice and close to Earth, and we feel the lunar effects more strongly. Partial Lunar Eclipses are the weakest type of Eclipse we can have, but with the Super Moon in operation, we are getting a strong boost of lunar energy.

The Moon represents our feelings of safety and security, but under an Eclipse, we may feel exposed or vulnerable. Our sense of security and safety may be challenged in some way, or we may feel unsure of ourselves.

Working with the Pisces energy, we can come back to our intuition under this Eclipse. Our intuition, that soft, still voice within, is what we can rely on. That is where we will need to turn for our strength and reassurance.

Lean in to your spiritual connection, remember that you are connected to all and that there is a Divine plan at play.

Having a Super Moon and an Eclipse together is a rare and magical interplay of lunar energy to work with that can really allow us to feel her power! Full Moons, but especially Super Moons, have a way of drawing things out of us, so draw out your intuitive powers! Draw out all that you no longer wish to hold.

Following this Pisces Lunar Eclipse, we have a Libra Solar Eclipse on October 2nd. This Eclipse is the stronger of the two and will be the one we are likely to all feel a little more. Stay tuned for this Eclipse and what you can expect!

[boymanmaletheshequel]

Symbolism of Artemis

🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹

The twin sister to Apollo/Apollon, daughter of Leto, Artemis is the sacred goddess of virginity, hunting, foraging, feminism, childhood, and the forest, as well as the lady of the moon and the hearth. A goddess known for her fierce mood swings, strict and convicting chastity, and disdain of traditional and toxic masculinity and human perversion, She is among the three virgin goddesses of Hellenic mythology. She was known to take the appearance of animals, such as boars and deer, often favoring them to her human form, which she almost only ever utilized while hunting or bathing in her sanctuary. Although she is inclined to women, she loves all her followers, including her non binary and male followers such as myself. Let’s go over some of her sacred symbolism:

🌈 colors

* In Hellenic Mythos, Artemis is a goddess of the forest and the woods, as well as a generally nature bound goddess, often depicted wearing or represented by shades of green, brown, and muted blues, all colors often associated with the woods and the earth.

🌸 flowers

* red amaranth: known by its taxonomic name of amarantos, Amaranths are the most commonly associated flower with lady Artemis, seen as a symbol of the immorality and violence of nature, as well as their relation to her name in Latin, meaning “unfading” representing her chaste virginity.

* red Carnation: another major flower iconic of Artemis is the carnation, as in Hellenic mythology, it is said that red carnations sprouted from the ground after she gouged out the eyes of a Shepherd who had dared to gaze upon her naked while she was bathing.

🦌 animals

* Stag/Deer: arguably the most well known animal associated with Artemis, and a creature she was known to assume the form of commonly, is the deer. It is said that some epithets of lady Artemis displayed great horns or antlers upon her head. Deer and their venison were also a major source of hunted food in Ancient Greece amongst the civil class.

* Boar: often associated with Artemis’s animalistic fits of rage, boars are one of her more sacred animals, often seen as a facet of her more violent tendencies. They were also an animal she loved to hunt.

* Bear: in the story of Callisto, a faithful devotee of Artemis who had promised her chastity to her, Callisto is seduced by zeus who causes her to break her chaste, infuriating Artemis who turns her to a bear and cast her into the woods. Later, in a plot by her own son to murder her, Zeus had mercy on them both and cast them amongst the constellations as Callisto to Ursa Major (great bear), and her son to Ursa Minor, (little bear).

💎 Gemstones

* emerald: The beautiful green hues of emerald are iconic of natures infatuation and affinity for the color, and as a goddess of nature incarnate, it is therefore often associated as the primary gemstone or crystal associated with lady Artemis.

* Moss agate: Named for its intricate dendrites that mimic the appearance of wild mosses, moss agate is a stone of nature and mystery, both aspects often referred to Artemis by. This makes it an easy, affordable choice of a stone to dedicate to and associate her with, especially for pagan wishes who may wish to decorate an altar for her!

* Moonstone: The stone of the moon, known for its Labradoresence and beautiful muted tones, it makes since that a stone named for the moon would be heavily associated with Artemis. It is also one of the stones associated with Virgo, the astral sign most widely connected to lady Artemis. (I too am a Virgo!)

🪐 Planets:

* The moon: Artemis is the patron saint of the earths moon, known for her affinity for her sacred night hunts, and has long inspired stories of lunar exploration. In fact, in 2017, NASA began work on the Artemis program, a plan to construct and launch a space shuttle that is to be used to land on the moon, delivering the first female astronaut ever to its surface!, and mark the first time a human being has set foot on the moon since 1972 when it lands there in 2026

🌟 Astrology

* Virgo and Cancer: Artemis, a goddess associated with various characteristics, is most often associated with two signs in traditional astrology, the first is Virgo, due to her inherent connections to the earth and virginity, and the second is cancer, due to her connections to the moon and her unique independence in Olympian society.

🏹 other iconography

* Bow and Arrow. Ever since I was a little one, I LOVED the idea and character of katniss Everdeen of the hunger games universe, and I would go into the woods and create my own bow and arrows, and set up targets to shoot! I now realize that’s one of the many reasons why I’ve always been drawn to Artemis! She is the ultimate expert with the bow and arrow, her sacred symbol and weapon of hunting.

🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌🏹🦌

What things or moments so you associate with lady Artemis? She is one of the many more intimidating goddesses I’ve come to adore, but as the first god I ever worshipped after leaving Christianity, I’ve found her more forgiving and patient than one might expect!

[charliedawn]

Hello!! So me and my friend are part of the therian/furry community it got me wondering how the slashers would react to their s.o being a therian/ furry

Slashers I had in mind (pennywise 2017 and 1990 mainly but feel free to add any you see fit!!) :3

(Apologies if I’ve asked this before I can’t remember)

Author: I think I already did a request with Pennywise and Penny about that, but I can’t find it so…Here you go ! Hope you like it. 👍

Pennywise *looks you up and down* : "Welp. That’s not something you see everyday."

Pennywise laughed, but he appreciated and understood the concept quickly. He was happy to see you happy and got into it quite fast. Besides, he never liked humans all that much. And being a shapeshifter himself, he wasn’t all that bothered by your sudden shift and was just happy chilling with you in the woods.

Barry helped you design your fursona. He got all his designer genius into making you the perfect fursona that would fit you. He got your favourite colours and the best materials he could find and got to work right away. He spent nights on it and made sure to get everything you wanted in it so that it would be as comfortable and lovely to wear as possible.

Barry *once he sees you in it* : "YES ! Wow. Gorgeous ! Absolutely stunning, darling !"

Brahms was excited when you told him—but he didn’t really know what it was at first. You had to explain it to him and slowly, he got the idea. He also tried to do animal stuff with you like running on four legs and take regular trips into the wilderness. He broke his arm as a result, but it was worth it. He was happy having fun with you. He is supportive.

A client *sees you* : "Hum…What’s that ?"

Norman *smiles at you* : "That would be Y/N. Come in, sweetheart. Say hi to the new client."

Norman was surprised at first, but he got used to it. He—himself—would take long strolls in the forest and be with you in spirit while you do your own thing. But running on all fours and howl at the moon and dig mud and rocks ? I don’t think he would do it. But he would be supportive and spend time with you nonetheless.

Jason would understand and respect your decision. He prefers animals over humans anyway. He would be more than happy to return to Crystal Lake with you so you may both have some fun near the lake or run between the trees. He is a free spirit and he loves nature. You would get along just fine.

Michael *nods in silent approval*

Our open-minded king. You could come up to him and say you are a wolf or an earthworm and he would be nodding understandingly and give you a thumbs up. If that’s what you are ? Then that’s what you are. No judgment there.

Penny *excited* : "Hey ! Do you want us to go run in the forest ?"

Penny is a shape-shifting creature. He could turn into a wolf and be right beside you when you both go into the forest and howl at the moon or even hunt together. He would also have NO problem biting you or scratching you or acting like a real animal with you. No questions asked.

Freddy Krueger: "…That a sex thing ? Cause I am digging it."

Freddy wouldn’t understand, but he wouldn’t really care either. That man is the definition of ‘you do you, bud’. He would be nodding and laughing, maybe do one or two jokes at first, but nothing real mean. He would then let you do your thing and even assist in one or two activities with you (howling at the moon or run after you). He would be pretty chill about it.

Five *sees you and looks down at his glass of wine* : "I knew that wasn’t a good vintage but still…"

Five wouldn’t understand.

He likes reason and science. But, he would respect you for being yourself and to see you have some fun. He would eventually support you, but you would have to give him time to get used to the idea.

[worldismyne]

MaStar Fics from Fanfic.net

Number of fics 34

Here's a peer reviewed list of MaStar fics from fanfic.net that are not cross posted on ao3. Lists go from oldest to newest.

(All fics on this list: Has the Romance tag, are written in English, properly formatted, and Soul isn't abusive or a cheater in it)

(artist)マカ「ニフラム」　ソウル「なんでこっち見ながら言うの？」 これ内臓詰まってんのかって疑いたくなるレベルのマカさんの

General

A glimpse into the past and future! - Just a little story on how Black Star and Maka met, and then a little future look at them together. Black Star x Maka fic... Cute!

Just Three More Days - Just three more days and Maka will be married.

The Forgotten Blue Shirt - Maka Albarn, our famous scythe technician, had ran out of clothes. As she was rampaging her unorganized closet, Maka came across a blue shirt but had no idea on where and when she bought said t-shirt. She had no choice but to wear it. The young meister decided to take a walk and our bookworm came across a friend that had been long-forgotten in the past. (This has characters speaking in the same paragraph - Myne)

Like Diamonds - Life after graduating from the DWMA (post anime). Maka/Blackstar

Shadow - Because Black Star realizes that his feelings remain the same no matter how many years has passed by. He also realizes that he isn't the bright star that everyone praises but a mere shadow.

Valen-tied Day - MaStar- On the day of love at Death City High, BlackStar is less than pleased to see a boy give his chocolates to his best friend Maka.

 Bonded - "There was nothing there, and yet he felt a pull of strings beckoning him to reach out, to touch what ever or whoever was waiting on the other side." Your Name AU; mini collab with Happyisahabit. MaStar Week 2017 Day 6.

Last Night - Black Star was holding something in that he hadn't realized, and Maka was much more accepting than he thought she would be. MaStar Week 2017 Day 8.

Teen

Black StarCrossed A Soul Eater Poem - A poem inspired by wild ideas rushing though my head along with Andrew Lloyd Webber music . A poem about a night where two unlikely meisters realize they are meant for each other.

Icey Accidental Romance - Some of the group decided to go for a walk through the woods. Maka and Black Star end up in a huge problem. Will this sudden accident change the way they feel about eachother, or will it just bring out the truth? MakaxBlackStar Fluff

Collapssed - Maka was enjoying a day out when Tsubaki and Soul tell her Black Star is missing; they think he collapssed somewhere. Maka panicks as he runs around and eventually finds him in a weak state. MakaxBlackStar fic.

Golden Memory - Black Star is bored.Everyone is busy but Maka,when he find her and takes her to his place she finds a pictre of them when they were younger, as memory kicks in, she realises there was a lot more to their friendship then she thought.MakaxBlackStar May update

She refuses to go on without Black Star - Three years he had been gone. She was at her limit, no longer could she live without him. MakaxBlackStar fic fluffiness! XD Rated T for content

A MakaxBlackStar Christmas! - Shitty title, I know! XD Maka was left home alone during Christmas Eve, bored, she goes to the academy to find Black Star there, the two begin talking and confessions soon lead to much, much more. Rated T for now, may be bumped up to M.

Comfort - Maka has a nightmare, and who's there to comfort her? It's fluff :S BlackStarxMaka please R&R! C: this is the first fic I've posted here. Enjoy! Rated T for sharing a bed XD

Awake - Set post-anime. "I'm the one who can surpass God. The one who can do anything he wants. If there's anyone who can wake your weapon powers up, it's me and my wavelength." After the defeat of the Kishin, Black Star visits Maka in the hospital to remind her of a promise they made when they were kids. Implied Black StarXMaka

To The Moon And Back - Black Star can't seem to get Maka's words from the battle on the moon off his mind. He ends up giving comfort to not only the blonde scythe meister who has left him feeling so strange but himself in the end. Based on Manga Chapter 105.

Maka And Black Star - Maka and Black * Star...Romance! Oh yes I am crazy enough to try this weird combination! Will Black * Star have what it takes to handle Maka? You'll have to read to find out!

Push Me - He placed his forehead against hers, grinning from ear to ear, at the girl's instant blush across her cheeks, "What? Did you think I'd let you get away without apologizing for real?" he asked teasingly.

Halloween Party - "He couldn't recall when this urge towards her had first started. It might have been long before their school days as meisters, or it might have started recently. He wasn't positive when, it didn't really matter." A party leaves Maka and Black Star time to sneak off and catch some fresh air. Maka x Black Star Slight future fic

Guns and Horses - Maka and Soul are very close friends. When She confesses her love to him, he denies her. Heartbroken, Maka turns to Black Star to help ease her pain. That's when Soul realizes he is in love with her, but who will Maka choose?

Problems with Loving your best friend - After something happens to Maka, Black-star has to help all he can, but the problem? He is head over heels for Maka! Now they have to get through everything and keep secrets from the rest of the group! Maka x Black-star

Freight Trains - No one said love was easy, but in Maka's defense no one said it would be hard either. As Maka's suppressed feelings for Soul begin to surface, she is launched into a very strange predicament, forcing her to fake a relationship with the one person she can hardly stand: Black Star.

Adrift - A commercial fishing trip gone awry leaves Braxton 'Black Star' Sterling floundering, furious, and ready to fight a God. Will his mission to get to Poseidon for a one-on-one be victorious, or will he forever be lost at sea? Mastar. Warnings: cussing, violence, talk of death, minor character death.

Mature

Stuck in a Steamy Closet - Maka and Black Star were thrown into a closet by Soul. Things get awkward and turn to hot.

A Black Winter - Winter often leaves a person feeling like there is no hope left, like all the life has been sucked out of them. When Maka finds herself on the receiving end of a prank her temper fires up those desolate feelings as she storms over to the one place where she knows she can take sort through these emotions. It just so happens that he might be part of the reason she is feeling them

Please Take Me - When Black*Star came into the Strip club the last thing he expect was to hear Maka Albarn singing. But there's more that draws him to her. and she may be just what his band needs. But there's strings attached and a lot going on in her life. and she just might need someone just like Black*Star. Soul Eater AU. MaStar Paring. You don't like it, You've been warned.

Explicit

The Sudden Rush Of Passion And Need - Black Star is bored, while going to find Soul he ends up hanging with Maka. Things quickly get hot. Black Star x Maka fluff

Three Two One Take Me! - Maka is having a horrible day. As she tries to get home she finds herself lost in the fog and breaks down.Black Star appears and takes her to an abandoned place he uses as a hideout.What will happen when Maka realises how she really feels about him?LEMON!

Rare Rainbow! True Love? - It's Black Star's birthday. The only gift Maka can give is her body. After realising that they actually have a love connection, things get steamy. Set several years later, surprise twist at the end. LEMON! Black Star x Maka

Oops - An innocent day at the pool turns... not so innocent when BlackStar and Maka are left alone together. MaStar smut. Enjoy! Rated M for future chapters C:

Animalistic - Maka is ignoring everyone to read a new book she's gotten. Everyone else is at the basketball court while she secludes herself... or so she thought. What happens when Black Star comes over to entertain his childhood friend? Will what she's reading have their hang out lead into something more? Please review!

Birthday Tattoo - Maka has never followed the crowd. Her team knows it, and her boyfriend Black*Star knows it. So when Maka decides to join her team's new hobby in getting a tattoo, what will Black*Star think? Will it be his best birthday yet? COMPLETE!

Hot Springs - Team Spartoi is taking a well-deserved vacation at a hot spring. When Black*Star loses the guys and stumbles up on the girls' hot spring, what does he see? How does Maka react? Mature one-shot. Lemon? Read and find out! *Cover image not mine!*

A special shout out to

Rabbid Girl for writing the first MaStar fic from what I can find (it is in Spanish)

XxSoulNoteWriterxX for writing over 22 MaStar fics in the second year of the niche.

happyisahabit for writing the most MaStar fics out of all of us

[cuntycheol]

(Teaser) Shadows of Rememberance (K.MG)

Idol!Mingyu x Reincarnated!(afab)Reader

Summary:

In 2016, your first love Mingyu's hardwork and a couple of years worth training finally turns to fruition when he sets to debut the next year and hopes to have you by his side. Difference is he debuts, and he has 12 members beside but no you. 4 years later, smaller in size, you got paws for hands, a tail, and limited time to solve your own death. So how do you exactly get to your boyfriend?

WC: TBD (teaser wc is 500)

Genre: more of like fantasy romance? With a small thriller into it?

Theme: lovers!au(childhood sweethearts) typical idol training au (we do not letting the green room slide by :) ) in the beginning, my style of writing is a bit 2017 :3 , flashbacks and transitions(I'll try to make it less confusing as possible), humor, some murder mystery, angst(major), implied smut (no details) Tsundere!Mingyu but eventually turns a new leaf in attitude, alterated seventeen debut timeline (they debut in 2017 with DWC)

A/N: hello readers, carats and gyuldaengies! This one is for you! Not too long ago, I finished See you in my 19th life and you know the phase where you're unable to get out of a particular fantasy-romance lore for a while! Its basically what inspired me to create this whole Korean setting of sojus and starry nights :) I'm actually enjoying the showcase of my work on tumblr even though it's just the beginning but thank you so much for reading my work and liking it! Unconditional gratitudes 😔💙 here's a small teaser from somewhere, in the fic. Feel free to drop comments/or if you're interested for a tag!

From the twelfth-story vantage point of his dormitory building, Mingyu stood on the balcony, his thoughts mirroring the expanse before him. "Is this how the height felt that day?" he wondered, his gaze drawn to the distant city lights that spread like a sea of stars. Beside him, Wonwoo, his roommate and fellow member, along with Seungkwan, offered silent companionship, their presence a comforting assurance.

"You'll only hurt yourself, so cry as much as your heart has always desired to, Mingyu" Wonwoo's voice, soft and understanding, carried the weight of empathy. The full moon hung in the sky, its luminous glow casting light on the scene below. A subtle shift in the atmosphere seemed to whisper that this was an opportune moment to unburden himself, to relinquish the facade he had worn for so long.

And so, within the embrace of the moon's radiant embrace, Mingyu let his emotions cascade forth. A torrent of feelings, suppressed and concealed behind his persistent smile, surged from the depths of his being. His tears flowed, an uncontainable torrent that mirrored the city's night lights, shimmering with raw vulnerability. Each teardrop he shed resonated within you, a mirror of the emotions you felt, transcending the boundaries of species.

Unbeknownst to Mingyu, the same Calico who had been jumping in and out of the balcony railings, silently witness Mingyu's vulnerability of the misunderstood turmoils he's being put into. He leans on his members, and let the tears paint his pain more vividly than words could.

Your feline instincts yearned to leap across the balcony and into his arms, to nuzzle against him and purr your concerns and comfort him. But the confines of your new existence held you captive. A silent observer.

"Trapped within these fur and paws, I long to bridge the divide, to whisper words of understanding to you, Mingyu" even if you're in your feline form, your heart and mind worked as how it used to when you were a human. But it was this very struggle that fueled my resolve. You couldn't stand idly by, separated from him by a veil of existence. You yearned to show yourself, to bridge the divide that separated our worlds and provide him with the reassurance that he must overcome you. He must live.

Yet, the question of how remained a daunting puzzle. "How could I convey my presence, my empathy, without words or gestures he could perceive in the conventional sense?"

Another glance at Mingyu, your heart beats with a fierce determination. You knew that time was of the essence, that the threads of fate were aligning in a way that demanded action. The moonlit night seemed to hold a promise, a promise that if you could find a way to breach the boundaries that constrained you most certainly could offer him the comfort he so desperately needed. And that's when you muster your courage, in the same moonlit of mystery and determination.

《《______________________________________》》

[mizugucci]

onf in chicago

hi yall im finally posting my account of seeing onf in chicago!!!! its only like 4 days late... like i said best day ever!!! below are all my notes + a bunch of photos, please forgive what i look like lol but i was so happy :)

for those that know me, know this was a HUGE deal. so of course this is going to be very long and detailed. luckily for most of my followers ill be putting it under a readmore <3

so i bought the highest tier ticket for obvious reasons, so ill just so chronologically:

first was sound check and they did ugly dance and i could NOT believe i was seeing onf in the flesh. im pretty sure i died and went to heaven then and there

once they were done with soundcheck, they did the hi-touch and group photo. the actual practice was messy but it was fun so i don't think people minded. i dont remember anything except that for whatever reason, i was legitimately the FIRST PERSON and it was a lot lmao

additionally during the group photo i had wyatt to myself lol i froze for a second but he was so kind and polite, he asked what pose i wanted to do and i dont remember if i responded or not but we did a little heart together <3

then the fansign happened and i dont remember the majority of it, partly bc i was a flustered idiot lol but i got my complete album signed!!!! life goal met for sure. wyatt i remember specifically thinking again how kind and polite he was, idr seungjun/etion but i got to hyojin and he had his hand up kind of for a highfive and i gave him the album and tried to high five at the same time it was. very awkward LOL he thought it was funny (i hope) then yuto complimented my kitty cat ears!!! i remember saying something stupid and being an idiot in front of minkyun too but. what can we do

finally was the long anticipated fanchat!!! i had my fanchat with yuto obviously and it was nerve wracking as hell but i love him so much i powered through and i hope he got something out of our conversation

the photo that we took & he signed was my best one of the night, so im really happy with how that turned out. its going to be my treasure for a long time to come:

anyway first thing i want to note is that we were sitting at high tables for the talk, but he couldnt even sit without the table dwarfing him so he stood the whole time LMAO my short king i love him so much

so after we took the photo i sat down and honestly im not sure how much he understood the first half, bc he didnt react/respond and he was slightly confused about english in the 2nd half but ANYWAY i told him i was so so proud of him, how far he's come and especially weathering the time of being alone during military era... lots of gushy stuff lol

then i asked him what b-side he liked dancing to the most and he was SO CUTE when he cocked his head and went "b-side?" so it took a moment to get my point across and he was like ohhhh, umm fly me to the moon! and i almost made a total fool of myself reacting LOL bc as some of you know, fly me to the moon is literally my favorite ONF b-side. of all time. and partly due to yuto's center dance break with the saxophone.

yuto was confused but excited when i reacted (like i audibly gasped) and i said omg thats my favorite too!!! and he got so happy and i even proved it further being like, *points to u* dance break center! saxophone! and he nodded a bunch and was so excited lmao

i think he was also surprised at being a favorite, especially when he asked me when i became a fan and i said end of 2017 (which was true i was a fan, but became a stan in jan of 2019) and he seemed impressed! then our chat had ended there and i almost passed out afterwards haha

then we all had to leave the venue again before the concert started. i met a lot of really cool people that day so some of us went across the street to dunkin. had fun lmao

the concert started and my GOD minkyun's mic was on!!!!! and how does he always have so much energy??? also i had the lightstick and was having the time of my life screaming along lol they were fantastic incredible showstopping etc etc i tried to take some videos but i was just vibing (and shaking) too much i had to give up. but it was so nice to finally go to a concert that i had the lightstick for

went into the concert with solid 3rd bias (etion) and came out of it 3rd bias as seungjun lol. theres a lot to talk about song-wise but ill save that for later. in short, i almost cried when they did bye my monster. and tmwl. and byubyu.

also elle i did record asteroid for you (not that its a good video, or one that ill share...) but it did remind me of you lol! they did difficult & moscow moscow which were both surprises to me but very welcome. all day as well was fantastic!

about halfway thru the concert (but not the ballad section) i had given up on videos so i was just rocking out w the lightstick & i pretended to hit hyojins high note with the lightstick as a microphone until someone that i met nudged me & looked up to see seungjun staring at me

it was sooo funny the facial expression he was making. i cant even describe it but once we made eye contact it was like he smiled slowly literally like the grinch and went 'hehe' to make sure i knew he saw me doing that LOL

so i knew i had to get a snapshot with him that showcased the lightstick:

theres so much more about the concert but its all mainly about the songs & the fact i finally saw them live. but i do need to mention the fact goosebumps was practically a rave lmao loved it

after the concert was the group photo selfie which was really cool but would be better if my phones camera wasnt absolute shit & they did a more flattering angle...

dont let this photo fool you, they are short kings (im as tall or taller than multiple of them, minkyun & wyatt are the only ones i remember being taller than me. wyatt was surprising)

i didnt really say anything memorable during snapshots bc i was just so star-struck, but i do remember wyatt going out of his way to be nice lol also i saw yuto multiple times & i was sooo mad there was only a few of us that bought premium snapshot for him. i also got along well with minkyun and highfived him again. i let most of the members choose their poses. yes i got multiple mks. yes i made him do cat ears.

and here are all the others. i got at least 1 type of snapshot with each of the members

anyway tl;dr best day of my life, its only downhill from here! unless they announce another tour... we shall see... im so glad they're getting so much love from fuse, i know we (both onf and fuses) have been waiting for a long time

im also very happy that there really is no reason NOT to have overseas tours... we've already beat the 7 year curse & completed military. the world is onf's oyster and i cant wait to see what they do going forward <3

[dangermousie]

10 Characters That Make Me Feel Things

tagged by @imlivingformyselfdontmindme

Since I am tagged by a cdrama buddy, I am gonna limit it to cdramas.

Wolfie/Chu Youwen, The Wolf (2020). I enjoy drama characters often, but I never lust over them. Meet close to the sole exception. Anyone who was following me when this drama aired, remembers the insanity. I finally understood what groupies are on about.

Xiao Qi, The Rebel Princess (2021) - the ur drama general, as far as I am concerned.

Awu, The Rebel Princess (2021) - I would fight through insurmountable odds to get to her also.

Jiang Xiao Yuan, Derailment (2023) - I am with @imlivingformyselfdontmindme she is everything and I am totally a JXY defender!

Xiao Yao, Lost You Forever Part 1 (2023) - my FL of the year. She would be terrible as a partner and insurmountable amount of work but I can totally get why all these people chase her, I would too.

Tushan Jing, LYF 1 (2023) - I want to make him sandwiches, give him a number of a great therapist and a genetics counselor and also some paper so he can scheme to help his girl's cousin take over the world as some sort of valentine's day present.

Ji Ye, Novoland Eagle Flag (2019) - murder more people in the streets, I love you pls!

Fan Xian, Joy of Life (2019) - mmmm

Yi Xiao Chuan, The Myth (2019) - let me weep in peace. The power of overwhelming will and brain and decency. Being not enough to save a damn thing.

Eighth Prince, Gong (2011) - the terrifying start of my finding queues sexy!

Xiao Yi Qing, Listening Snow Tower (2019) and Su Mengzhen, Heroes (2022) - nobody's ever coughed this beautifully while slaughtering as these two.

Yu Sifeng, Love and Redemption (2020) - duh

Ren Ruyi and Ning Yuanzhou, A Journey to Love (2023) - of course.

Shen Minglan and Gu Tingye, The Story of Minglan (2018) - my n1 drama and my n1 couple.

Ning Que, Ever Night 1 (2019) - young killer with infinite softness for one tiny world-destroying servant. I loved this character.

Ning Yi, The Rise of Phoenixes (2018) and Ye Hua, Three Lives (2017) - long hair obsessions.

Tantai Jin, Till the End of the Moon (2023) - I've already talked war and peace amounts about this man.

Yuan Hong in any drama.

This is way more than 10 so gonna stop.

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

Fine Line lyric analysis

I have too many plates spinning at the same time, but I was having a conversation with a friend about this last night, and she encouraged me to make a post about it. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind ever since.

The original theory isn't mine, or my friend's, or even from the group chat we were talking on, but a compilation of different things we've seen around for a while and that we started to chat about a while ago. Apologies if whoever originally thought about any of this sees this post and recognizes anything about it, not meaning to steal anything

The conversation came up the same way random themes come up in group chats, so I know perfectly well it's random to bring it up now.

As we all know, most of Fine Line (the album) is about Harry's ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.

This was on the back of the album

Which is a reference to Camille's tattoo

Not all songs on the album are about her, but we can infer (Harry hasn't confirmed anything) that most of them are.

This is the tracklist of the album, I'll add if I think it's about her or not next to the track.

Golden - About Camille

Watermelon Sugar - About Camille

Adore You - Maybe about Camille / Maybe not

Lights Up - Not about Camille

Cherry - About Camille

Falling - About Camille

To Be So Lonely - About Camille

She - Not about Camille

Sunflower, Vol. 6 - About Camille

Canyon Moon - About Camille

Treat People With Kindness - Not about Camille

Fine Line - Partially about Camille

First less address the ones not about her

Adore You

I think Adore You could be about her because thematically it fits (it's somewhat similar to Watermelon Sugar), but I think "brown skin" would be an odd descriptor for her (since she's not really known to even tan) plus the timing of it doesn't really fit.

We know he wrote Adore You in May 2019 because Amy Allen (co-writer of the song) posted about it in her stories at the time. This was about a year after he and Camille broke up, when Camille had been dating Theo (her current boyfriend) for a long time.

Absolutely not impossible that it's about her, but I would say inconclusive. It could be just a feel-good song about finding infatuation again after being heartbroken. There's nothing in the song that points directly to her to make it conclusive.

Lights Up

Harry said this song is about self-reflection and self-discovery. I think it's an introspective song that's not about anyone other than himself.

She

I think it's a song similar to Lights Up in that it's about introspection. Harry hasn't said anything other than he wrote it while high on mushrooms.

Treat People With Kindness

Not much interpretation and explanation is necessary. It's a kooky song.

Now, the ones that are about her. There's a common misconception that the album is in chronological order and tells the story of a relationship, but that's not really true. Canyon Moon seems to be a happy song about missing her when things were well, and it's one of the last songs on the album.

My chronological order of the songs (and remember, everything here is speculation and interpretation).

1 - Watermelon Sugar 2 - Canyon Moon 3 - Golden 4 - Fine Line 5 - Falling 6 - To Be So Lonely 7 - Cherry 8 - Sunflower, Vol. 6

Watermelon Sugar

This one is self-explanatory because it gives you the timeframe in the song itself. "Baby you're the end of June." Obviously he's comparing the object of his desire to the summer season, but also, that's when he and Camille started dating.

We don't know exact dates or anything, but Camille started following Harry on Instagram between June 22 and June 25, according to this timeline of the relationship (Harry followed her first in 2016). Harry was first teased about the relationship live on the radio July 17th and they were first pictured together July 21st.

The name of the song is a nod to one of Camille's favorite books, 'In Watermelon Sugar' by Richard Brautigan, which Camille mentioned in this interview with Elle in August 2017

Harry said in his Tiny Desk performance that this book was in the studio while he was writing music and the title of the book inspired him. He has also said that the song came about while in a studio in Nashville in September 2017.

Canyon Moon

This song is, presumably, about late 2017, when Harry was first on tour solo and he and Camille were still in the honeymoon stage.

Camille lived in Beachwood Canyon with her BFF Lauren Cohan. This song is basically saying that while he's on tour, Harry misses those evenings with her, in her backyard, listening to music, surrounded by friends, under the moon.

The song references Kid Harpoon's wife Jenny. Kid Harpoon was Harry's good friend and producer. He and his wife became good friends with Camille.

"The world's happy waiting. Door's yellow, broken blue. I heard Jenny saying, 'Go get the kids from school.' And I keep thinking back to the time under the Canyon moon."

Essentially, the world is waiting for him, but he's on the phone with his girlfriend who's back home with his friends, and he overhears one of his friends talking in the background.

This is a video Camille posted on her Instagram stories while Harry was on tour. In it, she's hanging out with Jenny and Kid.

The song also references Camille's ex boyfriend Devendra Banhart.

"Quick pause in conversation, she plays songs I've never heard. An old lover's hippie music. Pretends not to know the words."

(A little bit of a dig at Devendra there too with the "songs I've never heard")

Camille and Devendra were together for about two years until right before she and Harry started dating, and he most definitely qualifies as "hippie music."

The entire song is about Harry anticipating getting back home to her. Harry toured Europe (which is referenced in the lyrics "through Paris or through Rome") twice, first in 2017 with small theater tours, and then in 2018 with bigger arena tours. This song seems to reference the first part of tour, in 2017, particularly because Camille was at Harry's show in Paris in 2018.

While Harry didn't do a show in Rome specifically in 2017, he did do a show in Milan. In fact, his European leg started in Paris and ended in Milan, and he had an off day right before the Milan show. Considering he has a lot of friends in Rome, he probably spent it there (also, Milan wouldn't have fit the metric of the song lol).

Camille was with Harry until right before he started this leg of tour, as she was in the audience with his family at his performance in We Can Survive (a cancer awareness concert), October 21st 2017.

October 25 till November 10 is exactly two weeks and two days. In the song he says "two weeks and I'll be home."

That said, Camille did join him for the last two dates of this tour, but most likely scenario, he wrote the song either during or about the beginning, when he was a little sad to be away from her for that time:

"Gotta see it to believe it, the sky's never looked so blue. So hard to leave it, but that's what I always do. So I keep thinking back to a time under the Canyon moon."

Perhaps at the time he wrote the song he didn't know she'd be joining him.

Golden

This is the beginning of the end, the dreading anticipation of what's about to come. In this song, Harry comes to terms with the fact that he doesn't see a lot of future in the relationship, and he's devastated by it.

"I don't wanna let you go. I don't wanna be alone when it ends."

It's daunting. A Chronicle of a Death Foretold.

This is obviously speculation because Camille hasn't said anything directly about it and Harry has only said anything through song, but we can infer because of other interviews and timing, that Harry was way more into her than she was into him. This is not a dig at either of them. Sometimes that just happens.

She was with Devendra for about two years and she said, while dating him, that she wanted to settle down with him. They abruptly broke it off in May/June 2017, and she immediately started dating Harry. We'll revisit the end of her and Harry's relationship in a little bit, but it shares similarities in the sense that she also seemingly moved on pretty fast.

Camille also recently revealed that she met Theo a year before they got together, but that they didn't get together at the time because they weren't mature enough to handle those feelings. This means that when she got with Harry, she had recently met Theo and seemingly had feelings for him. (She said this in her Elle France interview, which is not only in French but also not online, so I can't really link a source).

This in no way says anything about her or her character. It can happen to anyone, to dismiss a relationship with someone because it's too intense and you don't know how to handle it, and perhaps a relationship with someone else is more accessible. And it doesn't mean that this second person isn't important or that you're using them. It's just life.

But it would explain why Harry felt the way he did. He felt like he was "so open" and she, in turn, wouldn't open at all. At the time, Harry chalked it up to her having been hurt and ending up heartbroken before, but it could just be that he simply wasn't the right person for her. And that sucks, but once again, it's life.

Regardless of him knowing that it likely wasn't going to work out, he fell hard.

"But I can't feel you take a hold, I can feel you take control, of who am I and all I've ever known"

Harry and Camille met right about the time his stepfather, Robin, passed away. Robin passed June 20th 2017. In his song Ever Since New York, which is about finding out Robin was diagnosed with terminal cancer (he said this in a few interviews), he says "there's no antidote." In Golden he says "loving you's the antidote."

Of course falling for Camille wouldn't "cure" the fact that he's heartbroken by the loss of his stepfather, but it's very likely that falling in love on the heels of such a huge loss healed him a little bit, made him feel better at a terrible time. This is for another day, but in his song Daylight, off his third album, he mentions someone being/having an antidote again ("you got the antidote"). That song also seems to be about Camille.

Before I continue analyzing songs...

I should point out a little bit more about the timeline of events, especially because it will affect basically every song that comes after this.

Harry and Camille were seemingly in a good place until March 2018. I say "seemingly" because we do not know them, of course. She would post stuff on social media that alluded to him, or his friends, or follow his family. His family would follow and interact with her. She would go to shows, etc.

As I said before, Camille was in Paris for his second show in 2018 (his first show was in Basel). This was March 13 2018. In the following days, Camille would be spotted at his shows sporadically, or she would post Instagram stories from art galleries that happened to be in the cities he was touring.

For instance, she posted this pic March 21st 2018 (it's still up in her highlights), which is Untitled (cowboy) by Richard Prince, 1999, and it's exhibited in the Astrup Fearnley Museum of Modern Art in Oslo, Norway

Harry had a show in Oslo that same day

This happened a few times, so it's likely that Harry was arranging private showings at the museum to be with her while on tour. Keep this in mind.

Camille seemed to have gone back home after this. We don't know if she had work, if they had a fight, if she was homesick. We just know that she went home. And by going home she missed Harry's Home London and Manchester shows, which were April 9, 11, and 12, which were attended by his million of friends and family members.

That was odd, and it was also odd that they didn't seem to see each other at all for several weeks (particularly because he was writing whole songs about being away from her for two weeks a few months prior).

She did go to the venue of his show in Dublin, which was April 16 and was seen chatting with him while Mabel, the opener, was playing, but she apparently didn't stay for his actual show. The timeline I linked earlier claims that she flew to London with him afterwards, but that's... speculation based on nothing, as neither of them were spotted in London. She was usually spotted at the shows when she was there and she was not spotted at this one (even though she was spotted during the opening act).

Harry had a show in Perth, Australia, April 21st, and he was first spotted there at around 2 PM local time the 20th, which would be very early morning in London.

A nonstop flight from London to Perth is about 16/17 hours, putting him actually getting on the plane late night the 18th or early hours of the day the 19th. This to say, that the timeline I linked earlier, while well-meaning, makes a lot of assumptions trying to make their relationship A-okay at this point in time, by, for instance, claiming that they spent time together in London between Dublin and Australia. But there's no indication this is the case, and at most it was two days.

What the timeline does get right is that Harry uses a new guitar for his Sydney show the 27th. This guitar, we now know for a fact, was painted by Nikolai Haas, who was a close friend of Camille's (more on him later).

Nikolai is based in LA and Harry hadn't been to LA in months. Camille had just been to LA before Dublin, so it is pretty likely that she went to his show specifically to give him the guitar. All speculation, of course. Camille did have work in London afterwards, so a trip to Dublin wouldn't be too much of a bother.

The timeline also mentions Camille liking a post of Harry's for the first time May 2nd. It wasn't actually the first post she liked of his, but the second. The first one was a March For our Lives post he uploaded on March 24th (right after she left). It does mark a shift in attitude on Camille's end. This is absolute pure speculation, but it's very possible that at this point they were no longer together, at least not in any official capacity. That her leaving his tour marked their separation in a very amicable way and that's why she felt, let's say freer, to interact with him on social media. Remember she'd followed him for close to a year at this point and had never liked anything he'd posted.

Her leaving the tour, them being apart for weeks on end for the first time, her missing his hometown shows. None of it says anything by itself, but it's a pattern that continues repeating.

The timeline I posted speculates that they disappeared and reappeared at the same time in England between May 14-20th and that that meant they probably spent time together. There's literally nothing at all pointing to this. And the truth of the matter is they hadn't seen each other in a month between April 16-17 and May 14 anyway.

Harry then continued with his tour, this time in Latin America and part of America, and Camille didn't go to a single one of his shows, nor did they spend any time in close proximity, for another month and then some.

Harry then had two shows in Madison Square Garden, June 21st and 22nd, and Camille did go to the second one. And we know she went to the second one specifically because she posted from the plane doing LA-NYC, June 22nd.

She had a photoshoot that day in NYC, btw.

As an asterisk, because we're about to get in muddy waters, at this point Camille was acting single. And I mean this in the most respectful possible way, because she probably was.

This is her and Alexander Skarsgard June 14 2018.

This was a couple of weeks later (it's very blurry but the original account that posted it got deleted, so this will have to suffice). It's Camille sitting on Alexander Skarsgard's lap, watching the France national team during the World Cup against Belgium (July 10th).

Around this time, Alexa Chung, who introduced Harry and Camille and was close friends with both of them, unfollowed Camille on social media. I can't prove this to you, but she followed Camille and often interacted with her posts, and they were, well... friends. They hung out. This was literally a couple of weeks prior (Camille still follows Alexa):

Alexa had dated Alexander up until July 2017. I presume she and Camille are all good now, just not, well... friends. They do seem to run in the same circles and I doubt Alexa would hold a grudge all these years later, but she did unfollow in 2018 when Camille and Alexander did whatever it is they did, and to this day she does not follow (it's a big deal for very Instagram dependent celebs like Alexa or Camille to follow/unfollow each other, don't let anyone tell you otherwise). The Sun would claim that Alexander and Camille were dating later (after they reported on Harry and Camille's breakup in like, late July), but they were late to the party and by then, Camille was already dating Theo.

But I don't wanna jump ahead. I'm trying to keep a semblance of chronology.

Camille went to Harry's second MSG show June 22nd and from mid March when she left his European tour and until now we have three long gaps of about a month each in which they do not see each other, with two tiny periods of 1-2 days in between in which they could've seen each other (but we have no proof they did) + we have Camille seemingly being... very friendly, with Alexander Skarsgard.

Camille was seen at Harry's MSG show, with his friends Max and Xander.

The day after the show, Harry went out with Xander and Max in NYC. And well, he got pretty fucking wasted (and yes, that is Joel Embiid's hand Harry is holding)

People speculated that Camille was there because of this picture, but it wasn't Camille - it was Farah Holt

She has deleted her ig and Waseem (Harry's close friend) has updated the caption ever since

This is a pic of her's that night.

(Not implying anything btw, just anticipating some of the things I remember people saying back then. It's clear that Camille wasn't there that night, and people thought the blonde girl was her, but it wasn't).

Harry had a show in DC the day after that (June 24th). People noticed him being off at the show from the get go, and all these years later it's a meme that he was pissed off.

In several interviews since then Harry said that he's fully sober while he's on tour because it affects the way he feels at the show later. He said he only did it once during his solo career, and the show afterwards was his least favorite.

Everyone in the quotes of that tweet understood immediately which show he was referencing.

Before we theorize any further, let me fast-forwards to the end, because there's not much more left to say.

After this show Camille attended, she didn't go to any others until the very last one, which was July 14 in LA. She wasn't seen in the friends and family section, but in the stands with some of her friends, and she didn't stay for the after party or go backstage. She just left. There were pictures of her leaving The Forum in the parking lot with her friends (I don't think there's a chance in hell I'll find them, forgive me), while Harry was still inside helping the crew pack up the stage (it was a whole thing, workers posted pics of him in the venue at like 2 AM).

At this point, she was likely already dating Theo, given...

Her fan accounts had noticed her posting stuff about Theo or with Theo for a while, this post is from August 16th, but it'd been weeks at that point. It's impossible to scroll and find anything concrete 6 years later, but anyone who was online at the time can attest. To this day Camille is with Theo.

Theo Niarchos is a son/child of Greek aristocracy. His family owns multiple galleries and museums. This will also come up later.

Now let's go to the songs.

Fine Line

I said this song is partially about Camille, because I think it's also pretty introspective. I think he's not just talking about the demise of their relationship and the work he had to do to be better after it, but also about healing in general, about working on himself and getting to a better, more mature, more solid place.

He said he started writing this song in January 2018, but he never said when he finished it, so I do think at that time, he and Camille were mostly in a good place. When he starts a song melodically and where it ends up lyrically are two completely different things.

The song doesn't have a lot of lyrics, but the verses are very wordy and important. I'll break them down.

"Put a price on emotion, I'm looking for something to buy"

He's so desperate for emotion, for any emotion, that he's willing to pay for it. This goes with the Golden lyrics where she wouldn't open up to him while he was super open and yearning for more of a connection. It seems it's reaching a breaking point.

You've got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes.

This will come up later in Falling and TBSL, this dichotomy of loving this person (Camille) endlessly, but feeling anger and frustration with her.

"I don't want to fight you, and I don't want to sleep in the dirt."

This idea of him sleeping "in the dirt" (away from her) after a fight will also come up later.

The imagery of sleeping alone is one that Harry repeats a lot in his music, going all the way back to Don't Let Me Go (the first song that ever leaked with just his vocals back in 2013). It seems to signify something to him, sleeping (as in, actually sleeping, not sex) with the person he loves vs alone in his bed.

We'll get the drinks in, so I'll get to thinking of her

This, this is important. He's not getting the drinks with her, he's getting the drinks with friends. And as he's getting the drinks with friends, his mind goes to her. We'll get back to this.

The chorus is the yearning, "we'll be a fine line"

"Test of my patience, there's things that we'll never know. You sunshine, you temptress, my hand's at risk, I fold. Crisp trepidation, I'll try to shake this soon. Spreading you open is the only way of knowing you."

This verse deserves to be talked about together in its entirety because it's so... fucking heartbreaking. He's comparing her to sunshine again (see, Golden, where she shines too bright for him). "My hand's at risk, I fold" means that he realizes he's about to lose, so he gives up. It's using poker imagery. The picture he paints is someone who's betting and betting until he realizes he's not going to win, so he folds.

She won't open up to him (once again, see "Golden"). Spreading her open, sex, is the only way of getting to her. She'll give him her body, but she'll give him nothing else.

This repeats itself in the unreleased leaked song Make My Day, where he says:

I make lots of money, build a big house Put an extra sink in, say I’ll settle down Friends call me a loner, I know they’re wrong She asked me to choke her, I play along

He wants to settle down with her - she wants sex that he doesn't really mean. He plays along. Coincidentally this seems to be something he repeats in the song Keep Driving (Harry's House), but we won't get into that now.

I don't have a conclusion for this song alone, because he talks about this again in Falling

Falling

"I'm in my bed, and you're not here, and there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands."

People often think he's alluding to cheating here. He's very clearly not. Camille, all her friends, all her family, all seem to be on perfectly good terms with Harry. There's a song we'll analyze in just a minute that claims that she's asking to be friends with him after they break up. That makes NO sense.

We just went over a song in which he gets drunk with his friends and starts thinking about her, and where he talks about how sex is the only thing on the table with her because she won't open up in any other capacity.

This sentence, to me, is alluding to the fact that he just had sex with her (wandering hands) while drunk (the drink) but they're not together anymore (I'm in my bed and you're not here). There's no one to blame for falling in bed again with his ex he still loves but the drink in his wandering hands.

He KNOWS he shouldn't hook up with her anymore because all she's willing to give him is sex, because she's checked out of the relationship and seeing other people, but he does it anyway, because he's weak. Was was it that he said? "My hand's at risk, I fold."

"Forget what I said. It's not what I meant. But I can't take it back. I can't unpack the baggage you left."

What was it that he said? "I don't want to fight you and I don't wanna sleep in the dust." Remember? He's alluding to saying something he doesn't mean, but not being able to take it back. This will be repeated again in a third song. But let's finish this one first.

What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

Essentially: I hate myself, I hate what I'm doing to myself. I hate it here.

What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

He's worried that if he doesn't do this, if he doesn't have sex with her, then she won't talk about him anymore. She won't think about him anymore. She'll forget all about him.

It kills him to do just sex, just casual, just friends with her, but what if not doing that results in her fully forgetting about him? Not needing him? Not thinking about him?

You said you cared, and you missed me too And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you And the coffee's out at the Beachwood Cafe And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

"You said you cared and you missed me too." If I'm right about the timing, of this happening after his MSG show, right before the DC show, the night that he got drunk with his friends, then it makes perfect sense.

He gets drunk, he thinks about her (because he just saw her, and she's in the area). He calls her, drunk, goes home to her (she had an apartment in NYC as well as her house in LA), they sleep together, and she tells him that of course she cares about him, of course she missed him - they hadn't seen each other in at least a month, possibly two.

But the conversation is awkward. They have nothing to talk about because she doesn't love him that way anymore.

And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again (Oh)

It's devastating. He loves her so much, but she moved on and is over him. That tiny physical connection is all that's left, and he's breaking inside.

We know that the Beachwood Café is Camille's favorite coffee shop as well. (Link to an archived version of the interview, which came out right before Fall 2019, a few months before Fine Line).

And the music video makes it perfectly clear it's about her. The window opens to a very subtle shot of the Eiffel tower

Camille was born in Paris. There are also very unsubtle shots of his left hand playing the piano, while wearing Camille's ring

Not that we needed proof of who this song was about, but ooh well

To Be So Lonely

Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy

I don't take credit for this because so many people have said it before me, but I bet you she called him a little boy at some point. (She's about 4 years older. They were 23/27 and 24/28 during their relationship)

In Falling he's apologizing, and lamenting. Now he's like "you know what? Nope. Not my fault.

Don’t blame the drunk caller. Wasn't ready for it all

So he got drunk with friends, thought about her, called her, went to her house, they slept together... pretty clear image isn't it?

You can't blame me, darling, not even a little bit. I was away And I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry

This is very obviously some private conversation they had. This is Harry being petty and throwing back things she said to him. I'm endlessly intrigued by "I was away" perhaps talking about her being with Alexander while he was on tour? It's impossible to know because while there's a lot we can gleam from looking at timelines and stuff (always just speculation) at the end of the day, he's incredibly cryptic when he wants to be. He's not Taylor Swift who paints a very vivid picture that anyone following her lore can put together. This? Only she can understand what he means. Maybe his producers.

Don't call me "baby" again, you got your reasons I know that you're tryna be friends, I know you mean it

This. This is why the idea that he's apologizing for cheating on her in Falling makes NO sense. She wants to be friends and continues to call him baby. I know she's a cool chick who doesn't GAF about much of anything, but that makes no fucking sense.

Now, if they were friends with benefits after they ended things, then that... that makes sense.

She's so cool, all good, she's over him. So she's fine hooking up with him here and there (while hooking up with other people). She's over him. She can call him "baby" and whatever other term of endearment. She never fully opened up to him, not the way he did. He actually thinks she's too good for him (Golden).

He's not claiming that she's malicious either. She fully feels this way, and that's valid, because she's not responsible for his feelings, or the fact that he's a mess and a half who's still head over heels in love with her.

Don't call me "baby" again, it's hard for me to go home Be so lonely

Once again the imagery of sleeping alone. Of going home after sex and sleeping alone. He hates that. They're sleeping together (having sex) but sleeping apart (actually sleeping). And that kills him.

I just hope you see me in a little better light Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?

Once again alluding to a fight. Perhaps his jealous streak is what he said that he regrets in Falling? Who is he jealous of? Maybe Alexander? Maybe someone else? Maybe the situation in general?

He's basically saying, I hope you know I wasn't trying to be mean or jealous when I don't have any right to be. I hope you think better of me.

’Cause I miss the shape of your lips You’ll win, it's just a trick And this is it, so I’m sorry

It seems that Harry has put an end to the cycle. In the Falling music video, he cycles through being soaking wet on the floor and a mess, and being on the piano, playing the keys that make the water fall and flood the room, drowning him.

When the music video begins, he's already wet:

He misses her, so he has to put an end to it, because otherwise the cycle that makes him miserable will continue. "So this is it, so I'm sorry."

"You'll win, it's just a trick." + "My hand's at risk, I fold"

These three songs go on top of each other and enmesh each other all over. They seem to be talking about the same exact thing, just slightly different angles of it, because it's at slightly different stages.

In Fine Line, he's about to do that thing that hurts him. In Falling, he's already done it, and regrets it. In To Be So Lonely, he decides he's not going to do it anymore. All three songs mention drinking, all three songs mention sleeping alone, all three songs mention fighting with the person he loves.

In Fine Line he triumphally says he'll be alright, likely because he's looking at the situation from afar, after having gone through it. It's not just about this situation with Camille, likely, but about working on himself and getting himself out of it. Getting better. Taking care of himself.

Cherry

This song is the aftermath of To Be So Lonely. In To Be So Lonely he asks her "Don't call me baby again"

In Cherry he says:

Don't you call him "baby" We're not talkin' lately Don't you call him what you used to call me

It's a play with words. Don't call me baby, but also don't call HIM baby either. He's fully aware of how petulant it is. Not me, because you won't give yourself fully to me. But also not him??

She asked him not to call him, so they're not talking lately. Just because we don't talk, don't think you can call him what you used to call me.

I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it

She's with Theo, and he tells, from afar, that she's happy. She never fully gave herself to Harry, but she did to Theo. And Harry hates it.

I wanna say, I don't think it's selfish that he hates it. In normal circumstances, sure, but if your ex who you loved (and still love) never fully gave themselves to you but does to the person right after, then I don't think it's selfish to be upset by it. But I do like that Harry is self aware enough and critical enough of himself to call himself out on those petty thoughts

I noticed that There's a piece of you in how I dress Take it as a compliment

This is me being petty but I don't think he means actual clothes and it's crazy to me that some people credit Camille with his entire street style in 2017-2019. He's talking about her ring, most likely. A piece, not, "I dress exactly how you liked me to dress." He can't exactly say "I wear one of your accessorieeees" now can he? He's making it poetic.

I, I just miss I just miss your accent and your friends Did you know I still talk to them?

He's talking about Nikolai, the man who painted his guitar. And thankfully, Harry seems to have kept Nikolai (and his wife Djuna) in the divorce.

This is Harry with Nikolai a few months ago

I'm sure they're on good terms with Camille. I'm just happy Harry doesn't have to miss them lol

Does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?

Anyway, I'm not exactly discovering anything. Anyone with minor knowledge on the subject already knows that Camille's new boyfriend (and current boyfriend) is Theo Niarchos.

His grandfather is Stavros Niarchos, a Greek oil tycoon and one of the world's richest men. His first son, Philip Niarchos, inherited Stavros' art collection and owns incredible paintings such as Van Gogh's self-portrait and Basquiat's self-portrait (Harry admires Basquiat a lot, so I'm sure this was personal for him).

Philip is Theo's father. So when Harry says "does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?" he's saying "I didn't have rich parents and I closed out galleries for you." (If he's not saying that, then I'm saying that goddammit).

The ending of the song features him crying agonizingly while she laughs cheerily in a voice note (which she gave him permission to use. Insanity)

Sunflower, Vol. 6

This is one of my favorite songs he's ever written because he takes all of this pain that we just described and he goes "alright, well, I'm gonna be happy anyway."

He's reminiscing on the good parts of the relationship:

Sunflower Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody

(...) I couldn't want you any more Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor I couldn't want you any more Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight) (...) Wondering, headshake Tired eyes are the death of me Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you I've got your face hung up high in the gallery

All those little things, the cotidianity of the first few times someone sleeps over, brushing your teeth side by side, seeing them just woken up, hanging around in the kitchen making breakfast. He's thinking back to all that.

While also being really sad that they don't have that anymore:

I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to talk to you Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower) (...) I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to act a fool Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower)

Because he told her they shouldn't talk, and he doesn't want to make a fool of himself while she's with someone else. And also being really sad that she never got to open up to him fully.

Let me inside, I wanna get to know you (...) Let me inside, wish I could get to know you

And he's saying, the flowers (the relationship) have died (ended), but they're sunflowers. And when sunflowers die, you get sunflower seeds. The very center of a sunflower is where its seeds are, and the flower needs to die for hundreds if not thousands of seeds to come out.

It's all part of the process. It's a stage of growth, hence Vol. 6.

He's taking all of this, all of these feelings, all of this yearning, all of this love, and he's planting it in his melody, in my music. He's making art out of his heartbreak.

Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory (...) Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody (...) Sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory

The flowers died, but I'm planting them in my melody, and the good things will live forever.

Fine Line is a beautiful album, which does tell a story beginning to end, just not chronologically.

There aren't any bad guys, or bad people. He's not calling himself out. Or her out. He's not pointing fingers. He's not mad.

He's processing going through this heartbreak, and trying to make it all better. Learning from it, getting to know himself. One day I'll analyze Lights Up and She a little closer, but that day won't be for a while, because this fandom is incapable of being normal about that sort of thing.

I have other things cooking, but tonight I just wanted it to be about Harry and the beautiful album he made, and the wonderful conversations me and my friends have when we miss him.

I hope he's doing alright, taking care of himself, and surrounded by family.

If anyone made it all the way here, congrats! And thank you.

I'll probably run through this lately and correct a few grammar mistakes, but I just want to put it out now.

[vintage1981]

Actress and Author, Lara Parker, of Dark Shadows, Passes at 84

Lara Parker, who found the role of a lifetime at just 28 years old when she was cast by Dark Shadows producer Dan Curtis as the beautiful, vengeful and altogether evil witch Angelique Bouchard Collins, died October 12 in her sleep in Los Angeles following a battle with cancer. She was 84.

Her death was announced by producer Jim Pierson of Dan Curtis Productions, on behalf of Parker’s family.

“I’m heartbroken, as all of us are who knew and loved her,” said her Dark Shadows co-star and longtime friend Kathryn Leigh Scott in a statement. “She graced our lives with her beauty, talent and friendship, and we are all richer for having had her in our lives.”

Parker was born Mary Lamar Rickey on Oct. 27, 1938, in Knoxville, Tennessee. Her father, Albert, was an attorney, and her mother, Ann, was active in civic groups.

She graduated from Central High School in Memphis and attended Vassar — she roomed with Jane Fonda there — and Rhodes College in Memphis, where at 19 she served as Wink Martindale’s assistant on his WHBQ-TV show, Dance Party. She then earned a master’s degree from the University of Iowa.

Parker, who also authored four popular Dark Shadows-related novels from 1998-2016, arrived on the supernatural soap opera in 1967, not long after Canadian actor Jonathan Frid had been cast as vampire Barnabas Collins. Frid’s storyline changed the show from a moody, Gothic Jane Eyre-type serial into a flat-out horror show.

During breaks in production, Parker acted on Broadway in September 1968 in Woman Is My Idea, which lasted just five performances, and in the early Brian De Palma film Hi, Mom! (1970), starring Robert De Niro.

And toward the end of the daytime serial, she and fellow castmembers including John Karlen, Kate Jackson, David Selby and Grayson Hall appeared in the poorly received MGM film Night of Dark Shadows (1971).

In 1972, Parker relocated to Los Angeles and went on to appear on episodes of such shows as Medical Center, Kojak, The Rockford Files, Police Woman, Kolchak: The Night Stalker (as a witch) and The Incredible Hulk, where she played David Banner’s first wife in a flashback sequence in the pilot.

In her later years, Parker turned to writing and teaching — her novels include Angelique’s Descent (1998), The Salem Branch (2006), Wolf Moon Rising (2013) and Heiress of Collinwood (2016). The books proved popular among Dark Shadows‘ still-devoted, conventions-attending fan base, as well as devotees of romance and horror genre novels.

Parker kept in touch with her co-stars including Scott, Selby, Roger Davis, the late John Karlen and others throughout her life, particularly once the conventions became annual events in the late 1980s through the 1990s and up to the 50th anniversary celebration in 2017.

Many of the original cast, including Parker, recorded a series of Dark Shadows audio dramas in the 2000s released by Big Finish Productions. They also reunited for a “Smartphone Theatre” Zoom-style, Covid-era performance of A Christmas Carol in 2021 and, on Halloween night 2020, a YouTube/Zoom Dark Shadows cast reunion.

Parker is survived by second husband Jim Hawkins, daughter Caitlin, sons Rick and Andy, and their wives Miranda and Celia; and grandson Wesley.

[dustedmagazine]

Mope Grooves — Box of Dark Roses (12XU)

Box of Dark Roses presents the final 27 songs written, arranged and recorded by trans activist and musician stevie (Pohlman), a massive two-LP set that showcases her DIY art, passionate engagement and close links to other trans advocates, poets and revolutionaries.

Mope Grooves emerged in Portland, Oregon in the late teens, with a brash but vulnerable guitar rock sound and a message, from the beginning, about gender identity, inclusion and mental health. Their early albums, Joy and Vanished from 2017 and 2018 respectively, bristled with punk energy, with shouted anthems and loose-slung, infectious melodies. Dusted’s Jason Gioncontere called Desire, the band’s fourth album, “their most cohesive set yet,” late in 2019. And Portland’s Ben Parrish who caught them early and fell hard, wrote of an early show, “And Mope Grooves—Pohlman’s band—broke my brain. Imagine if somebody ran records by The Raincoats, The Clean, Beat Happening, Tyvek, and Marine Girls through a wood chipper and glued the pieces into a new super-record.”

Musically, Box of Dark Roses is more keyboard- and synthesizer-based than Mope Grooves’ earlier album, an uneasy sweetness percolating in its gentle melodies. The soft pretty songs are, in some ways, the most disturbing. “Forever Is a Long Time” pits tootling organ riffs against a sing-song melody, but sharpens the edge with rattling, off-kilter drumming. “Aileen” floats hauntingly graceful vocals over space-video-game pinging and rushing drums. “They’ll tell you you’re a criminal for paying them back in kind, but in the dark, in the wild, in the heart of the night, it is right to fight,” sings band member Lee. It’s a bracing sentiment in a song dedicated to Aileen Wuornos, a sex worker from Florida who killed seven of her clients, purportedly in self-defense. And “I’m Tired All the Time,” with its music box chimes, spiraling fiddle and slapping, just-behind-the-beat percussion, is a lullaby or a suicide note, depending on how you hear it.

Politics turn more explicit in the tracks with extensive spoken word incorporated. Marilyn Buck, the poet and May 19 Communist organization revolutionary best known for freeing Assata Shakur from the Clinton Correctional Facility for Women in New Jersey, speaks on a handful of cuts, including the opener “Controlled Burn” and “Here Comes the Moon.” The song “Continuity and Intensity,” tells the story of the Black Liberation Army’s Kuwasi Balagoon, who, when put on trial, declared, “We have a right to resist, to expropriate money and arms, to kill the enemy of our people, to bomb, and do whatever else aids us in winning, and we will win. The foundation of the revolution must rest on the bones of the oppressors.” The song “Dora” recites a detailed account of gender oppression in Weimar, Germany and the suppression of Magnus Hirschfeld’s Institute for Sexual Research.  The ratio of polemic to hook is pretty high on these tracks, but these were issues that mattered to stevie, and, as such, they belong here.

Box of Dark Roses was made near the end of stevie’s life (she killed herself in 2024), after a long struggle against gender dysphoria, physical and mental health issues, poverty and sporadic homelessness. In a lengthy, revealing essay included as liner notes, she writes, “I funded the recording process and the deposit on my surgeries by submitting my body to hyper-exploitation. I worked vanilla jobs 40-70 hours a week most of the time before relying increasingly on the informal economy. I was frequently in severe pain and losing work from chronic disabling illnesses that are aggravated by intense labor.”

And yet, though her suffering was real, she never lost sight of how much worse off others could be, particularly black and brown trans people. Before her death she stipulated that all profits from Box of Dark Roses should go to “gender marginalized survivors incarcerated as punishment for defending themselves, either directly to their fundraisers/commissary funds or thru the Survived and Punished NY mutual aid fund.”   This is a difficult, important record, a whole different experience from Mope Grooves’ earlier lo-fi garage albums, but well worth making time for.

Jennifer Kelly

[hannahwatcheshorror]

GERALD'S GAME (2017)

💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead

I won’t lie, this movie is a heavy one, the subject matter is tough, but if you are able to handle it this is a phenomenal film. I don’t know how Stephen King can write so well for women, but he slips into the role like Buffalo Bill into a suit made of women's skin. This movie is very true to the book, not making the mistakes of other King movies that deviate greatly from his writing and try for a new way of thinking. Gorgeous scenes of the eclipse that flood your senses as they would have Jessie’s. Really an excellent film.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

(Trigger Warning Sexual Abuse, Child Sexual Abuse)

To try and fix their marriage Jessie is handcuffed to the bed in their remote vacation home but the thing is, ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, you gotta talk to your partners before employing crazy sex stuff because Gerald’s Game freaked Jessie right the fuck out and it wasn’t safe at all!  “We might die here today because of Gerald’s five inches!” Very quickly into Gerald's untimely death and Jessie’s subsequent imprisonment Prince the dog smells the blood and stops by for a bite. This drives Jessie into a madness where she envisions versions of Gerald and herself talking to her (and it is very well done).

Our first night is coming quickly and our best girl uses some quick thinking to get a drink of water before the lights go out. She wakes up to a spooky visitor and we cannot tell if he is real or in her imagination though and her imaginary husband posits that if the spooky visitor is imaginary then why did the real dog leave? This was very chilling. We also got to see what inspired Talk to Me’s foot sucking action, who knew demons loved toes? (We all did, that's why we never dangled our feet out of the covers)

We are brought back to Jessie’s past, the day of the total solar eclipse, the day her father sexually abused her. Then her horrible father tricks her into thinking that telling anyone would make her look bad so she promises him she won’t ever tell anyone. At this point she is convinced that the man she saw in her room last night is Death (or the Moon Man) and that he is coming back tonight to kill her so she has to act NOW. She remembers something else from the day of the eclipse, cutting her hand, which gives her an idea…

THE DEGLOVING SCENE IS SO BRUTAL. I have not been made physically ill by a horror movie in such a long time but here we are. My LANTA was that AWFUL. I had to pause it to take a break because I was thrown off by this scene, it was very well done but excruciating. (I don’t want to go back until the scary lady with the half hand is gone) I was trembling by the time she got the key to the cuffs and was getting a well earned drink from the tap.

She sees the Moon Man on her way out and gives him her wedding ring as a sort of payment, sort of like paying a coin to cross the River Styx only she gets to live. She drives her car, crashes it, but that leads people to find her. She recovers well but it is only months later that she discovers the spooky visitor she saw was a real man after all who was caught for robbing graves. She goes to his hearing and confronts him, telling him he looks small. She goes on to start a foundation to help anyone who has gone through sexual trauma like she did and tells her story everyday.

Um, this was incredibly true to the book and I loved that about it, they only did a few little things here or there to make the story flow a bit better but holy moly if they didn’t stick to the book! I am very pleased! The only thing that I would have LOVED is if she would have taken Prince the dog on as a pet but that wasn’t in the book and in fact they usually have to destroy dogs that have a taste for human flesh so… yeah… but I like to imagine it would be a very powerful move for Jessie to take the dog that terrorized her and have it become a companion cause the dog was just doing what it needed to to survive but maybe that is just me. Brilliant book, brilliant movie. Great job all around to everyone involved!