#long last spray
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#delay spray#long last spray#delay spray for men#long lasting spray#formen health#stamina#performance#how to last longer in bed
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Kia has decided to retire her winter wardrobe all over my everything
#kiadanta#my cats#ragdoll#cat#the fluff heap in the last picture is what i brushed from her yesterday and today#it seems to be working though!! i can pick her up and only have a 30% opacity fur coating on me afterwards#instead of the 80% it was at the start of yesterday#I'm glad shes receptive to being bribed with treats to be wetted down and brushed extensively for such long sessions#she has a good time with everything except belly brushing#which i have to do much more coaxing for#but with treat bribery i can recall her to the brushing spot pretty much instantly whenever she starts to wander off#and while she doesnt like her coat being sprayed directly she's fine with me cupping water in my hands and wiping it on her#i find it's much much easier to brush her when she's damp#otherwise the fur is all so stupidly fine it just floats away and i cant get much of the loose stuff onto the brush at all. just goes whoosh#summer shedding be like that
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have any of u guys ever gotten way too high and experienced a psychotic episode.......
#THAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT#IT WASNY EVEN ANYTHING HARD IT WAS JUST WEED#the spray. i had too many spritzes#i thought i was dying and being set up i was so paranoid and i was HALLUCINATING!!!!!!!!!#i do have a history of dissociation#drugs cw#talky cherub#NO MORE PILLS N POTIONS FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE#that was one of the scariest experiences of my life hands down
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#maybe can we talk about non traditional methods of self harm one of these days#as a teenager I didn’t wear sun screen or bug spray deliberately to hurt myself#get bug bites scratch them until they bled pick the scar make it last as long as possible#skin cancer runs heavily on both sides of my family I deliberately didn’t wear sunscreen#one to get burned but main to deliberately increase my risk of getting skin cancer#because I hated myself
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is there an actual medical reason why my body just doesn’t respond to medication and if there is please tell me it can be fixed bc this some bullshit
#ive tried easily over a dozen medications that just did absolutely nothing#and i mean no benefits no side effects even at increased dosages#all for different things like blood pressure heart rate salt increase contraception the works#then theres pain killers#talk about a waste of fucking time#ive tried at least 8 different pain killers that all have different bases and different things they fix#in the last five days ive tried four different meds#and theyve done absolutely nothing#one of which was a post surgery med my dad was prescribed and it literally just made me high for an hour and didnt touch my pain#how the hell does that happen#my ribs are so fucked#and its going into my stomach and hips bc of the way ive been holding myself to compensate for it#and i literally did nothing to trigger it#i know its muscle bc i used rapigel and it instantly went freezing cold#but i also had a long hot magnesium bath and used a topical muscle relaxer spray and none of it did shit#ive done heat ive done cold ive done sitting ive done laying down#im trying some endone we have left over tomorrow and if that does nothing then theres literally nothing else to do#theres nothing else#what the fuck am i supposed to do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic pain#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#fibromyalgia#ehlers danlos syndrome#chronic illness
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I gotta be honest, I don’t engage with the Criminal Minds fandom (despite having watched all of the original show + Evolution and read up on as much of the spin-offs as I could) because I don’t like how prevalent the racism and sexism and infantilization is in the fandom. There’s just enough of all that shit upfront that I don’t want to dig any deeper than I already have. I’m good, I get enough of that shit in fandoms that I’ve been apart of for years I’m not gonna let this shit sully my love for this show anymore than it already has (especially considering the show’s writing itself is not devoid of these faults).
I’d rather just love the show and dissect it and write analysis and fanfic for it and shit on my own.
My fav characters (just cause & kind of in best to least order): Penelope Garcia (she’s literally me, I love her), Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jordan Todd, Matt Simmons, David Rossi.
#like I’ll never forget or forgive the amount of vitriol Jordan Todd got and still gets from fans despite barely lasting on the show#the hate is disproportionate and reeks of nothing but misogynoir#criminal minds#just the way I saw Ashley Seaver being talked about and how misogynistic the language being used to criticize her character was enough to#throw me off of the broader fandom— and I don’t even like her like that she was just there#criminal minds critical#then there’s how much of the larger vocal parts of the fandom shit on Derek without taking any of the nuances into account from his#character (like they do with there white favs)#and how much bad faith readings of his character are put into people’s opinion pieces of Derek#and I just don’t fuck with that#like it’s weird that all the white characters in the BAU get whole dissertations when people write hcs but the black ones (even Derek) will#get some generic ass hc that’s not even character specific#like everyone gets these well thought out ‘what they’d smell like’ hcs that’re 1-2 paragraphs long & Derek’s is one line that’s just like:#‘he smells like axe body spray because he’s a fuck boy duh’ and that was it#like just no fucking care or effort (Derek is a black man & a womanizer - he’s too refined for the ‘fuck boy’ title) y’all know he smells#like that good expensive cologne that Penelope couldn’t get enough of and that lingered in a room after he left#don’t play with me#I hate how much Reid gets babied too and while he’s not one of my fav characters I still really like him but how much he’s lowkey watered#down in fandom to be the ‘poor little skinny white boy meow meow’ is annoying as shit and undermines his character (in my opinion)#even how centered the male characters are irritates me to some extent but this fandom has more female leading ships than most#the shipping culture is also just toxic af despite that#but yeah#I could say more but I don’t feel like typing in the tags anymore#BYE HEIFERS#✨trix speaks✨
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goes into tags for one of my fandoms. watches that one fandom's wheel of fortune swing back around to 'why are m*rder hornets building nests on my blog?'
#the metaphor is thus: someone in fandom wants to create a hornet character. no one wants to interact with hornets.#bc they sting and hurt irl. some people in comm might even belong to cultures where hornets hurt their relatives or themselves.#the hornet fan gets mad. we're oppressing them! we're mean because we won't write with them! then they think they hit a hail mary:#'how can you be mad at me writing a hornet when you guys play dragons and 0wlbears? they're way more deadly.'#and so we all shut up sit back and watch the hornet fan begin to panic that actual irl stinging hornets start circling their content#and entrenching themselves in fandom after a long winter hiatus bc everyone else sprayed them with pesticide last time they rolled up.#the whole house is infested. the hornet fan has to run. abandon blog. they swear they're not an actual hornet and don't understand why#their hornet-aligned content attracted real life hornets.#they realize the difference between irl hornets and the fictional dragons and 0wlbears.#all a metaphor for an irl h*te group that for some reason people want to romanticize/make cool villains around...#in a fandom based around the dragons and 0wlbears killing and eating hornets.#fuckin wild it's happening again.#out of stories#SIPPING MY MILK AS I SHAKE UP A BIG CAN OF FASH-B-GONE BC THE EDGY COLLEGE KIDS DON'T REALIZE SOME CONTENT IS ALWAYS GONNA BE P0LITICAL#AN ACTUAL MEMBER OF THAT GROUP IS JUST GONNA SEE PROPAGANDA WHEN YOU DRAW YOUR KAWAII OC IN THE UNIFORM --#WE'RE NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE WE'VE DONE THIS DANCE TO DEATH WHENEVER THIS SHIT EMBOLDENS THE ACTUAL ASSHOLES.#WHEN WE SAY 'HEY DON'T DO THAT' IT'S NOT COMING FROM A PLACE OF CENSORSHIP IT'S 'HEY YOU'RE GONNA GET STUNG WE DON'T WANT THAT.'#vent //#tbd //
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first off, congrats on your last shift. second, what's wrong with the enclosed bucket I have GOT to know
thanks!! and the bucket is a nightmare lmao. you get less control over the spray because of how the nozzle works, you can't see out the main window because it's full of tiny little cracks and hazy (so differentiating between "super stubborn ice buildup" and "worn off paint" is near impossible) and it jerks really bad when you turn the bucket in certain directions. it's miserable for deicing CRJs. i can't stand that thing
#and i brought the window up to my boss and he said ''it's not THAT bad'' and refused to do anything about it :/#one of the many reasons i'm leaving lmao#we HAVE an open bucket that i wouldn't mind using but we don't have short enough harnesses for me T–T#i hate it so much and the manager knows this but he makes me spray with the enclosed one anyways.#even the day after i was spraying and accidentally shut off the apu (pilot error!!!!! not me!!!!!!!)#he was getting on my case about not wanting to spray. i wasn't even refusing to deice lmao i just said i only wanted to drive 🥲#i had a whole ass 2 hr long panic attack after the apu went out. i just wanted one day of not going in that damn bucket lmao#ANYWAYS#nessie asks#👷#i can't wait for that last shift 😭 it's gonna be wonderful#open bucket at (new airline) i'm coming back buddy 😭
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if you’re a gourmand fragrance lover i have a new combination for you 🍮 i got told twice today at work that i had the room smelling like sweet pastries.. it’s bianco latte by giardini di toscana (it is pretty expensive i had a sample and yes i did buy a full bottle) layered with cozy vanilla bourbon from bath & body works. the combination is warm and sweet with milky caramel and vanilla notes
#i tried looking up cozy vanilla bourbon and i don’t think they sell it anymore :( it is one of my all time favorites scents it’s so good and#versatile and long lasting especially for a body spray
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Pictured: a fleabag
(it is actually extremely impressive she managed to catch fleas when she never leaves the house and I leave the house only to take out my bins, and etc etc the list goes on, the vet was impressed with her flea acquiring skills let's put it that way)
#my cats#kiadanta#anyway yeah both the cat and the entire house are getting extensively flea treated#though not with the same products#for obvious reasons#in fact it's only taking so long because my house is inconveniently partitioned#so i need to lock the cat up in a separate ventilated room while different parts of the house get sprayed and aired out#and this must be repeated at least a couple times#because fleas are immune to poison when theyre cocooned so you can only catch the larvae and adults right away#and sometimes the cocoons can last a hecking while#slaps roof of cat / this babygirl can fit so many flea#this is why beans video is delayed btw#anyway other than the fleas the cat is entirely healthy. vet was pleased#and now she will poison any flea that tries to drink from her so that's nice#been enjoying picking dead fleas out of her fur#serves them right for infiltrating the fur of Kiadanta my beloved
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it's days like this (wearing my only boob-accentuating top) that i wish i had some brown mascara (to turn my peachfuzz into a beard for gender-presentation fuckery)
#i've got black mascara#but i'd like brown too so i can use both and make it actually look natural#but makeup is EXPENSIVE!!#and also does not last long!!!#i swear they have been filling my regular mascara not as full as they used too#it lasts way shorter amount of time before i have to add hair gel/setting spray to make it last longer#so then it's like. do i want to waste the small amount in the bottle on a beard?? idk#unityrain.txt
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ok this is a long fucking shot but does anyone out here know anything about. Allergies but rather than having itchy runny-nose symptoms you just feel systemically like shit. Like fatigue, nausea, vague headache, moderate-to-severe excercise intolerance, that sort of thing. But correlated to like, pollen exposure. Or just air quality in general?
The best ballpark diagnosis I have is asthma, but I've never actually had An Asthma Attack so I don't know if that's.... right. And even if it is, I can't really find good research or resources on managing systematic effects of asthma at this like... non-acute, non life-threatening severity.
Sometimes with weird medical shit like this, there's information that exists if only you can find the right keyword to search.... maybe somebody's got something?
Or even just, it'd be nice to hear if anyone elae deals with this and I'm not, like, completely insane*
*for this. other insanity unspecified.
#every day for the last week I've woken up and my immediate first thought has been#Ugh i wanna take a nap#Not even like “i didn't sleep enough I want to sleep longer”#But like. I need a completely different kind of sleep. That makes me rested.#In a way that neither sleeping or any type of restful activity or non-activity I've tried has accomplished.#fatigue is stupid!! It sucks!!#And every time I have had a bit of energy I've immediately totally overdone it and fucked myself up#Because I'm BORED I'm TIRED of being too fucking tired to do anything!!#Finally just put together today that it might be the same goddamn allergies that always get me#At this time of year.#After going outside to walk around in the sun and look at plants (always good for my brain)#And getting lightheaded and short of breath#So that's super cool and completely unhelpful. I already take daily allergy meds#And they help! But only so much#I've tried an inhaler and corticosteroid spray but the side effects suck#So it's just. Untreatable unless it gets bad enough for the side effects to be worth it I guess?#I feel like I should be more grateful it's not more severe.#I know a lot of people have it worse.#But it's frustrating also to be stuck in a place where it's not bad enough to *do* anything about#Ugh sorry this is very long and self-involved#And i will possibly delete it in a minute#I just gotta yell into the void here
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what's an appropriate way to say thank you to a coworker who brought you a sample of the cologne your blorbo is [most probably] using????????????
it's a super interesting scent btw!!! from the bottle it's very lemony, a lot of cypress, pine(?), and off the bat it almost smelled a bit like honey on my skin?? there is a lot going on in it, and at first it seemed sweet, but once it calms down, most of this early sweetness is gone (there is still a tiny bit that lingers though, which is really nice), and the bitter, fresh parts with the sea vibes take over. it's very elegant, clean, yet unique. there is a vibrant streak to it, but it smells old school, like a classic. after about an hour it got deeper on me, and more spice appeared, which was very lovely. it also has a very prominent layer of that usual masculine scent most male fragrances have, while still being airy, so it's not that in your face feeling, but the one that really draws you in instead. overall the mediterranean description is spot on. a massive W in my eyes
#deranged!#but to be fair to me!#he is a fragrance nerd and im into this stuff too#and we were discussing some very important matters at work - as you do#and i was like yeah for me there is this one tom ford i want to smell#and he was like oh actually i do have a sample of that... i could bring it to you :)))))#and i said sure thank you ☺️#and then he asked me why so i had to act like a normal person??? like. uhhhh i was just uhhhh talking about it with someone uhhhhh#r#(obviously fragrances smell different on everyone but yeah! this is super nice)#(on my skin after i sprayed it it was incredibly sweet for a sec#but once it dries thats gone)#(what happens after that also depends on the person like most things on me tend to become spicy)#(have to say tho - its a true summer scent and it doesnt last particularly long)#(but i love that it handles the lemon cypress duo so nicely#and the sea vibe as well#because im always wary of these things smelling like air fresheners 💀)#(but there is enough stuff in this to balance that out and give it a richer deeper scent. its hot ill say it.)#(i also have to be careful because my own perfume is very strong and i keep smelling that on myself lmao)
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Yknow what I've been wearing Zoologist samples for almost the whole month of January and I haven't run out of a single one of them yet and these are just the samples so that alone is kinda amazing to me
#they really give you a LOT in these samples.#tbf they're also long lasting and have good projection so only 1-2 sprays is needed. if i was spraying them like 4 times it'd be different#sydney talking#my favorite is probably squid followed by bat and moth
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Also with so little time before the con and so much Outfit left for me to make, I'm starting to enter hyperfocus when I'm working on it 👁👁
#threading the 2nd wing and didnt stop only until i had to heat up a rat for my snake#and now i really don't feel like going back to it now lmao; tomorrow i can hypothetically finish threading it#and line the last piece with wire and then run them through my sewing machine; I'll need to cut the dart for the coat as well#and figure out how to make the sleeves more comfy.. iron down the seams maybe? or cover them with cotton..#might do yarn for the antennae bc that's easier to get ahold of.. as soon as i figure out the tails I'll go back to the fabric store#and try to find more of the specific yarn i used for my plushie bc that might be my best bet rn#i doubt I'll get the antennae exactly as ive been drawing them but i just need them to be long if i can 🥺#might have to compromise between size and fullness ://// depends on how much yarn I'm willing to buy lmao#need to get some boots and spray paint them.. style and dye the wig 😔 looked at it and briefly considered using it for pouf#bc i don't have bangs but i love using my actual bleached hair for him lmao; i do need to bleach my roots again#i need con tickets i STILL havent bought those and it's in like 2 weeks#shai speaks
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we ended up catching up with a bunch of Dracula Daily emails earlier and cleaning part of our room a little bit and I've noticed over the last few days we've had the urge to talk to people more (not quite managed to actually do that but still) and the motivation to actually do stuff we enjoy as well as the tasks on our to-do list instead of just sitting there dissociating or being unable to decide what to do, and I have no idea where this came from but it's really nice
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#happy posting#I've been journaling more again as well and I've noticed that when we feel better we tend to write more often and in more detail#I took our meds on time and put on some cute earrings and another spray of that perfume from yesterday#it's weird because we had a pretty rough time that culminated in a few particularly bad days but then suddenly we feel relatively good#it reminds me a lot of this time last year when we set up our Notion pages and joined fiveable sessions all the time#oh and I just realised I've been getting back into the habit of taking photos of everyday stuff to put in our journal entries#I'm not sure how long this'll last but it's nice at the moment at least#maybe I can try and pay attention to what seems to be working now and make a note of it for when we don't feel too great
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