#long distance REALLY sucks
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#fanfic#fanfiction#nonsense#making shit up#steddie#saturdaycryingclub#archive of our own#long distance REALLY sucks#stranger things#eddywow#slow burn#fun to read but miserable to live#men need a software update#also long distance sucks#you know what's cool though? tattoos#let me colour them in please#i also cried this week because my nemesis read to me over voice message#basically a bedtime story#I'm obsessed#don't tell her
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its frustrating, Eloise was my favourite character in the show and then part 2 came out and the complete character assisination.. you telling me she wouldnt be loud & opinionated when finding out her friend was forced getting married off too a much much older guy??
also with Cressida. part 1 perfectly set up a redemption arc for her, made us sympatise and get to know more about her character. only for part 2 to have others completely shit on her character throughout, have her only friend not even care to listen to her or even had a single conversation again.
How is it that Cressida was the only one that dealt with all the consquences but Penelope ended the season completely fine???
#wouldve be better if instead of Colin - Eloise went to speak with Cressida instead about the blackmail#have Eloise sneak in to her room when finding out Cressida has been trapped in by her father#give them an actual goodbye conversation!!!!#where they still keep in contact via letters despite the distance#i am really happy for bi benedict & fran#but it sucks knowing the writers wont give a shit about a lesbain arc for Eloise / Cressida#cause doubt they care enough to give us two wlw storylines#even if they set up the storyline so well at the start?? even having them paralell the literal main romantic couple of the season#sorry for the long rant#but its so urghhhh#the writers really fucked over Cressida and it sucks#the potential flushed down the drain#i really hope this isnt the end of her story#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers
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I got my new ankle braces today :D
They removed my ankle privileges :(
#The new ankle braces do not have a joint at the ankle#and it means I cant really drive if I have to go to the store or appointments nd stuff where I have to walk a lot#Which SUCKS DICK. but. whatever.#Ill take it not to be in pain any time I walk long distances#I'll still have to use wheelchairs at shit like zoos and waterparks nd attractions as such#But that doesnt bother me because Im a whizz in the wheelchair#But now I really don't care#these ones arent as visible as my last ones#but thats bc I matched them with my shoes p well#the bug speaks
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I hate it when i run out of things to say to someone i used to talk to everyday
#like i hate it when time passes#and theyre a stranger to everything now#the last me they knew was the 15yo me and ive wanted to kill rhat part of me for so long#and distance gives you perspective and ive realised they never really cared for me like i have and it sucks#but theyre my oldest friends and probably the first
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2021 just some guys celebrating pride
#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn#baine bloodhoof#2021 pride fanart#I think baineduin is cute but with how Baine has been written the last few years I just can't see it working outside fanfic#I just. really wish they'd shown more strain in their relationship in BFA#And I wanted Baine to be more active in SLs#Have Baine confront Mawduin at some point#I drew that ill post it next#Anduin and Baine could've been a really interesting friendship in canon exploring what makes ally/horde relationships so hard to maintain#and yet these two of all of them would be able to power through their differences and fights and dissagreements#But I think its just too late to really properly capture that in canon which sucks#In my fanon of them they're never able to be a close couple more long distance but they hoard cute love letters from eachother#and when lucky they may meet in secret#but in the end no one ever knows that theyre more then friends#prehaps other then jaina#jaina knows everything i think#if your curious my main ship is wranduin but honestly i think anduin is just a little dork who crushes easily#I could see him with a few different people given the fanfic is written right#but also as an ace i do like the idea of Anduin as ace#honestly I just think of Anduin as a piece of playdoh i make him into whatever i want at the moment
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there’s nothing i love more than getting letters and cards in the mail
#yelling into the void#it’s literally my favorite thing#really does things for my words of affirmations love language#long distance besties suck but little things like this make it fun#thank you bestie 💖 (you know who you are)
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#i've been doing job training for the past month now and so far it's going pretty well#but i feel like it's affecting my lifestyle negatively in a big way#for one it's enabling my E////D (which i've been sorta on top of but now i'm taking any excuse to skip meals and walk long distances for#no reason other than to get workouts in whenever i can)#and it's definitely noticeable in my day to day life#(mostly dizziness and exhaustion weakness and headaches/stomach aches that end up making me sleep through the rest of my day)#and i have NO idea how to keep myself from doing it#today i was worried about how many calor///ies i'm intaking with painkillers#which i wouldn't have to take in the first place if i could just give myself a break and eat normally again#and it just sucks? that i'm getting a grip finally in terms of a job but at the same time my health is going down the drain again#i really REALLY thought i'm on top of myself but i guess i am nowhere near it#and it's so frustrating#rant tw#i wish i could blacklist tag this properly but it always attracts pro weirdos so if u need this tagged give me a tag to use#and i will glady do that for u
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idk ik people don’t like valentines bc corporate holiday rahahhah but i just like it as a day to love my friends and love my family and love my fictional characters and wear cute pink and red outfits and skip around giving red velvet cookies and be happy idk
#:D#☕���!- clove speaks#like Martha speaks#Idk I was in a relationship for one Valentine’s Day and it sucked bc I wished him a happy Valentine’s Day and he ranted ab how it was a#scheme for corporate business to make more money and YEAH#Ik it is but we were long distance and he didn’t have to get anything and all I wanted was to be told I was loved#and tbh after getting out of the relationship idek if I loved him in a normal way I don’t think anything about my attraction to people has#been necessarily normal and now I don’t really think relationships are something I even want anymore#But idk#Valentine’s Day as a day to appreciate things I love#I LOVE my friends I love my family#I love I love I love and none of it is wasted#romantic relationships will never be more important to me than platonic I think#especially after being in a toxic/abusive “romantic” relationship and the only thing that helped me leave it was help from my friends#I’ll never have a friend I regretted loving they were all important to me at some point and helped me grow#it’s hard bc I’ve always felt idk… aceflux? aroflux? And it was very hard to explain to a partner HEY sometimes my love for you isn’t#romantic sometimes it’s platonic sometimes I don’t know how to explain it but I still love you I still want you in my life#Idk none of this matters#If u read this SMASH THE LIKE BUTTON AND HIT SUBSCRIBE
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#man im really tired of having feelings for him. i should really just keep my distance and go back to dating apps#i long for the connection we have and hate having to build up something brand new#but im really tired of feeling butt hurt everytime he sleeps with our roommate#like yeah we broke up over a year ago. and still casually do shuff. its just hard for me to turn off that side of my brain#i just want to feel loved and be held by someone without having to build the foundation all over again#ive been depressed the past few days because of it. i act irrationally and cant control my feelings#overall its better if i just let them fuck around and i try to find someone new. only problem is im anxious and not a good conversationalist#plus i hate messaging people over phone. too much anxiety abt what im saying and if the other person enjoys me or not#anyways it sucks seeing the subtle evidence that they went at it while i was away. i have no right to be upset but i cant help but think of#him as more than a friend. i cant and shouldnt but we had dated 6 years previously. its a bit difficult to turn that switch off now#dammit i guess tonight im gonna sleep alone again and try not to cry. whatever gotta get over myself and move on. have to stop only thinking#of my self and being so damn possessive all the time#ash rambles#fuck i feel worse now after typing all that out yippee..
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i have been gnawing at the bit over the idea of B kidnapping L im a second away from writing The most self indulgent fic inspired by your tags on that 'is kidnapping illegal if u rly rly love them' post , anyway can i pick your brain for ideas surrounding a kidnapping scenario LMAO
KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING READING THIS
YES OMG PLEASE!! Idk how helpful I'll be but I'm absolutely down to talk B kidnapping L >:3c he just wants to dress L up and play with him like a lil doll but also taxidermy him like a prized hunt and admire him forever 🥰👍💕💕💕
#qeyond sucks#ask#gore#kidnapping#putting my hands on my face and looking off in the distance#hed love it so much but would also be really sad if he broke his favorite toy (ie taxidermy that guy)#keeping L in a zoo enclosure made just for him so he lives for a long long time :3#anyway im wishing you so so much power and luck writing !!!!!
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Big Sad
#kicks dirt#idk how many times i can openly ask for what i need & just. not get it. before i've just gotta Stop bc it starts feeling pathetic#and potentially even bordering on emotionally manipulative.#debating the Morality of even tag-venting on my own blog bc i don't want anyone to assume this is targeted#i just feel Deeply Lonely and like i have absolutely nothing going on in my life except work#and just lowkey like.... Unseen.#sometimes i try So Fucking Hard to have a conversation with people only to have 100% of what i say completely ignored me#* in favor of a random meme.#it starts to fuck with you after a while! makes you feel Uninteresting and Foolish and Annoying#idk.#i mean i also ran out of my (Extremely Rough Withdrawal) SNRI last week so like. that isn't helping.#but it's more than that. i've been feeling like this for a while.#it just. really sucks when you move & have no irl friends. no energy to make any new ones.#and all of your long distance friends have A Lot of shit on their plates so you feel shitty and inconsiderate for even thinking of asking#for. well Anything really. let alone some of their extremely limited time & energy & attention.#like who tf am i to ask anyone#let alone people who are all Very busy and struggling w/ their own shit#for their undivided attention for a chunk of time they could be using to take care of themselves#i don't want to feel invisible anymore#but i also don't want to be a drain on the people i care about#i hate Needing things#i wish the depth of my love and devotion to the people i've chosen to care for was fulfilling enough on its own#so i'd never need to ask for things#having emotional needs is like. sooo gross & selfish of me tbh. :/' go the fuck to therapy holy shit u would Never say this abt Anyone else#anyway. watch me delete this in 5 seconds bc the need to be seen & the mortification of being Perceived can & do coexist#χ.txt
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Wife made me cry. I feel better now.
#file: storm has thoughts#things that sound awful out of context whoops#i am having A Day and she said something really sweet and i just lost it#i can't wait for this summer i miss her so much#this long-distance thing fucking SUCKS I'm so tired of it#we are this 🤏 close to finally getting immigration paperwork started though and i can't wait
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#plse ignore i just need to vent#my bf hasnt messaged me in almost 5 hrs#and usually thats fine#causs he gives some indication that he'll be busy#but nothing and ive already been needy and clingy and shit with him#earlier this week and hes been great with it#but its also tiring#and i dont feel like texting him what hes doing#cause ive already sent random messages throughout#the day and i just#am so tired and i fucking hate time zones#and long distance#like i swear to god#this really is the last time i do long distance shit#cause it fucking sucks#and im just sad cause we before he moved we used to talk a lot#and same with when we got together#and i feel like i should be able to go a day without texting him#but i cant and it just sucks#fuuuckkk#ok im donw#*done
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Covid ruins EVERYTHING I’m so fuckin sick of it man
#I’m sorry I know it’s selfish to complain about it#but our Christmas Eve and Christmas plans are completely ruined because my mom has it#I’m hoping I test negative because I have no symptoms#I’m also losing time that should be spent with my long-distance boyfriend who’s finally here :(#it just really sucks having to lose everything I was looking forward to over it#personal
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#really fucking frustrated#ive slept 5 hours and cannot rest any more rn#im in a lot of physical pain from work yesterday#between having to push myself to walk without a cane for long distances and being physically assaulted#(the latter was mild it's. more the stress that heightens already existing fibro pain)#and not sleeping well makes pain worse#but wouldn't you have it that pain is preventing me from even laying restfully rn#today should be ok at work. hopefully. but sunday might suck and its looming over me#and after the work weekend I have a million things to do for my upcoming move#and a talk im dreading with someone close to me#and im deep into autistic burnout#and I want to lose my shit rn#because rn I cannot have even the bare minimum amount of rest I need to push through things#but I still have to keep doing it anyways#because what other choice do I have
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