#long awaited by like 3 very nice people

[daftpatience]

the long-awaited sticker sheet of my mascot, digit

[dauntlessallure]

𖤐 ⸝⸝ ˚ ┊ INSULT TO INJURY — T. FUSHIGURO ⋆

〝 ⠀ ݁ 𝐁𝐎𝐗𝐄𝐑!𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ❜ ⠀݁ ⠀

【 SYNOPSIS 】— he’s mean. tough. toji fushiguro shouldn’t be so much to deal with until he is. you fix him up & he gives you a lil reward.

【 CONTENTS 】— boxer!toji , medic!reader , reader referred to as ‘ she ‘, fem-bodied reader, smut , slight angst / comfort , mentions of blood & injuries , mature language , jealousy , mutual stalking, hints at masturbation , consensual non-consent , unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it. ) MDNI + any other missing tags .ᐟ

【 PAIRING 】— toji fushiguro x reader

【 WORD COUNT 】— 2.2k

【 TAG LIST 】— @itsmonicabc @girlluvsblogging

⠀ ̽ ⠀ ᝰ✍︎ ﹐⠀/⠀ ❝ ⠀ 𝔄𝗗𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝔑𝗢𝗧𝗘 . . .

THE LONG AWAITED BOXER TOJI IS HERE. alrighty people , toji had won the poll vote for the first of the boxer!jjk men series. reblogs are very much appreciated <3. comment to be added to my tag list .ᐟ this work is not yet proof read.

boxer!toji was one of the first of many people that you had first taken care of as a medic. it was your first event working with the company , everyone you had run into was very very nice and seemed happy to have the extra support that your dainty little hands could provide. though at first , toji was refusing treatment. he called it “ a waste of time. “ which is translation for: im slightly embarrassed. toji was never the one to ask for help. in his own brain , he handles his own healing even if his nose was pouring blood like a leaking faucet. but you , you’d insisted that he’d stay. lucky you didn’t have to tell him twice. he couldn’t say no to you, a beautiful individual with a good head on your shoulders.

boxer!toji was endlessly throwing compliments at you the entire time as you tended to his bloody nose. “ do ya always look this pretty while fixing your patients up ? “ his word’s immediately went straight to your head. toji fushiguro was undoubtedly handsome, and huge in stature while you were just a tiny little thing. he smirked as you looked at him with a reddened face, toji knew what he was doing. “ awh cmon doll , you ain’t gotta be shy about it. “ at this point, he was just teasing you. “ just . . hold still “ was the only thing you managed to get out.

boxer!toji who gets jealous that others are in dire need of your care besides just him. someone who honed the same skill as you certainly wasn't uncommon but you ? you were the only one that toji allowed to actually touch him. you were just following up with another patient, geto suguru when toji walked in to see you wrapping up geto’s left hand. you didn’t even notice toji standing outside of the doorway until geto cleared his throat, causing you to look up from suguru’s limb. toji was already staring directly at you and now suguru. you’d be lying to say that his stare didn’t do things to you. “ oh toji .ᐟ i’ll be with you in just a mome— “ he didn’t give you time to finish “ i’ll come back later when you aren’t so busy with some lightweight. “ toji spat as he glared at geto before walking away. you quickly apologized to geto, finishing taping up his hand.

boxer!toji still remembers the first time he laid eyes on you. just staring at you from afar while you spoke to the chairman of the company, masamichi yaga. toji stared you and your body like a piece of meat. as shiu , toji’s manager was deep in conversation with him but the sorcerer killer had one thing on his mind. “ she’s too pretty to be working in a place like this “ he had spoken out loud. shiu’s eyes followed toji’s gaze which led him to you. perhaps even the contractor agreed in silence. you locked eyes with both men as you were stepping into your office for the evening, causing a small friendly smile to play on your lips while toji’s dark gaze seemed to burn a feeling into you that you just couldn’t shake off upon entering your new workspace.

boxer!toji who HATES losing. It makes him feel so small even though toji couldn’t be small even if he wanted to. especially with the most recent loss he had taken, It hit him hard. The media alone already hated him so this was only insult to injury for fushiguro. he just wasn’t able to understand it. if you thought he was embarrassed before, it just went up a couple notches. how did it all go so wrong ? not to mention, he had some nasty injuries to only add to his frustration. tonight’s scheduled fight went out of control in toji’s favor. toji was set to fight on ‘the strongest’ fighter , satoru gojo. the whole time you watched from backstage , just flinching everytime a punch was thrown or a kick was made. you could replay that brutal moment in your mind , that’s how explicit it was. a loud CRRAAACK was heard after satoru had thrusted his knee upwards into toji’s face. — ouch. you immediately knew something was wrong by the dazed expression displayed on toji’s face, his body falling limp.

boxer!toji was quickly rushed to your area as soon as possible by shiu, he was still in a hazed state of mind. mostly anger and confusion fizzled in his mind as you instructed him to sit. toji obeyed your orders & sat on the medical bench, now holding an ice pack to the giant laceration that skimmed the side of his head whilst staring blankly at the wall in-front of him in silence. shiu sighed at toji’s stillness before walking out of the medical area, leaving you to now look after toji. the medical room was just gasping for comfort , nothing but a thick and awkward tension lingered in the air. toji slowly turned his face towards you , almost emotionless. it was nerve wracking, you’d expect him to be yelling or just mouthing off but no. his pride was hurt to push you away , not this time.

boxer!toji who for once lets you tend to his needs without any trouble or bartering, he just couldn’t bring himself to say no to you again. even though he’s mentally punching himself for letting his guard down, but he really has no choice here. toji sure as hell wasn’t gonna go to an actual hospital to see what’s wrong with him. maybe it’s better for you anyways, you needed the hands on experience. “ just do what you have to do. . make it quick. “ he didn’t have to tell you twice. you stood up to change your gloves , he was now staring at you. his eyes raked down over your body before landing back onto your face , toji could feel your concern about him which made him feel guilty. . why ? who really knows ? the way toji’s mind works is complex. . he feels bad & guilty over things that he has zero control over.

boxer!toji blurts out “ i betcha think i’m weak , don’t you ? “ , it causes you to stop your movements and look at toji. “ what ? no toji , i don’t think you’re weak. . . “ trailing off on your words , your skilled hands proceed to fix up the gash on toji’s head. “ if anything , you’re everything but weak. not everyone can do this type of career , and not everyone can be toji fushiguro. if that was the case then there would be a million guys running in and out of that locker room . . you did good , but you can’t win them all. “ you words seemed to stick in toji’s mind for the rest of time you’ve spent fixing him up, the short exchange of words made the tension less apparent. soon enough you set toji on his way. “ please take it easy . . Be careful with your nose too , your lucky it wasn’t broken fushiguro. but i will need you to check in with me soon with that gash, keep it clean ! “

boxer!toji never did come back for his checkup during the next event. matter of fact , he didn’t even even show up for the next few events which caused you to worry. you go as far as waving down shiu and asking him what the hell was up. “ fushiguro says he is still recovering “ shiu reassured you that toji was fine. but you began to speculate that something else was going on, something deeper beyond your comprehension. but what could you do about it ? nothing. after all , you were just a medic. you’d nod at shiu before stepping away back into your office, groaning while you slowly shut the door behind you. . perhaps you were beginning to miss that hunk of a man a little too much.

boxer!toji who’s stalking your social media a little too hard during his ‘ recovery ‘. endless hours of his dark colored orbs staring at the screen of his phone , just scrolling away on your instagram. these pictures didn’t do you enough justice he thought , you were even better looking up close. little did toji know that you were doing the same thing. . you didn’t understand why people hated him. better yet , why on earth he didn’t have a significant other ? all the gym photos of him shirtless with a sheen of sweat covering over his torso and chest , it made your heart thump. the pool of arousal quickly making itself known in the pit of your stomach. . was this wrong ? you kept staring at the picture while your hand began to snake it’s way below the waistband of your shorts but you stopped once you realized you had accidentally liked the photo ! were trying to get a better grip of the phone in your shaky hands , your chest tightened with anxiety as you quickly unliked the photo. phew ! there’s no way he could see that you didn’t just like a photo of his from six months ago !

boxer!toji who did in fact see that you did in fact like a picture of him from six months ago. a low chuckle leaving his lips seeing the notification pop up on the upper half of the screen only for him to grin as he refreshed his notifications. — no notification. it disappeared. toji was cocky enough when it came to the effect he had on people in any manner. after seeing you doing the same mutual stalking that he was doing only 30 minutes ago caused all those feelings to rush to his raging length , restricting itself by the fabric of his sweatpants. toji was more than ready for his check up.

boxer!toji slowly sneaks into your office during the next event. it was quite early in the evening, not even all the fighters had arrived yet. but toji had something he needed to prioritize before making a complete comeback from his injury. you. while nobody is looking, not even you noticed him snaking his way through the door, quietly closing the door with a soft click.

while bent over , tidying up your area — a pair of large hands grip at your hips. causing a gasp to flee from your lungs. “ shhhh. it’s just me princess. “ you knew that voice , causing a shiver trickle it’s way down your spine. it was toji. slowly bending upwards, his lands kept a firm hold on your lower half. a quiet chuckle coming from the man behind you. “ toji , what are you doi– “ he didn’t even let you finish your sentence before one of his rough hands made its way up to your throat, giving it a light squeeze. quickly hushing you, toji presses his body against your backside while leaning down to your ear. “ someone’s been stalkin’ me late at night , hm ? “ fuck, he knew. “ we both know what you’re doing up at those hours of the night , don’t we ? “ as if he wasn’t doing the same exact thing , humiliation began to leech itself into your brain. how embarrassing ! the other thing you muttered out was a strangled “ m’ sorry ! i-it was wrong of me ! “ evidently your ‘sorry’ and honesty wasn’t much to toji, as now you found yourself bent over the medical bench with your leggings now carelessly tossed across your office, your arousal-soaked panties dragged down to your ankles, and your moans and whines being suppressed by one of toji’s hands covering your kiss bitten lips while he’s plunging in and out of your sopping cunt at an inhumane pace. “ you’re gonna take my cock as a thank you for fixin’ me up — fuuuuuck. “ the lewd squelching coming from between your legs bounced off of the walls as you moaned loudly into his palm, his thick length filling you beyond oblivion. even you were surprised by how he fit inside despite being fucked onto only two of his fingers before hand. “ mmmph ~ “ was the only thing you could manage to sputter out , toji was pounding you so hard. he was fucking you stupid. no coherent words , thoughts, dared to corrode your mind other than pure selfish pleasure that toji was bestowing onto you. “ pussy so fuckin’ tight , she’s pullin’ me in. “ he’d groan , looking down at where your bodies met. soaking in the image of your cunt gripping his cock like a vice. the cute noises escaping from your covered mouth seemed to be having an effect on toji as well. you could feel his grip only tighten and his thrusts become sloppier by the second while the coil in your stomach instantly snapped. you were cumming so hard , harder than any other pathetic ex partner of yours could ever manage. a string of noises left your body as your gummy walls convulsed & pulsated around toji’s throbbing length. “ hah — fuck ! makin’ a mess of you. “ was the last thing toji uttered out before his cock spasmed. toji grunted as his hand left your hip and landed hastily against the flesh of your ass. his seed painted your walls white. the warmth of his load earned a whimper, you could feel it seeping out of your aching heat. toji slowly retracted his hand from your mouth before slowly pulling out , watching your face contort into one of pleasure while his load dribbled down your inner thighs. “ i think i’ll need a check up more often, whaddya say ? “

ׂ⠀〝⠀⠀.. ⠀ ©dauntlessallure 24’ — please do not steal , publish , or post my work elsewhere or credit as your own .ᐟ

[churipu]

Hi can I request the jjk men (toji, yuji, yuta, sukuna) with an s/o who doesn’t show any emotions?? If you do thank youu. <3

JJK MEN + "NO EMOTIONS" PARTNER 𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖

featuring. toji fushiguro, itadori yuuji, yuuta okkotsu, sukuna ryomen x reader

warnings. cursing, soft and ooc toji and sukuna :(

note. hi hi nonnie :( sorry for the very late update to your ask — uni has been busy lately, but i promise all my inbox is going to be emptied, even if it takes long.

TOJI FUSHIGURO. he tries to make you show emotions — teasing you, annoying you, anything that could make you be at least a little emotional; whether it is happy or sad (kidding, he wants you to be happy all times).

toji doesn't actually mind. but he wanted you to be more reactive of his teasing, because he didn't get the point of teasing if you weren't angry at him. instead of you being angry, or telling him that he should stop, all he got was a nod and an "it's okay".

so the top of his bucket list was to break down this emotionless wall of yours.

preparing a snack for both you and toji at movie night, you spent your sweet time in the kitchen. waiting for the popcorn to cook, when suddenly he stomped inside, boldly asking you, "what the fuck do we have for snacks?"

seeing you flinch in surprise, toji awaited your answer. ready to receive a mouthful of angry words, but all you did was stare at him with those beautiful doe e/c eyes of yours — and you meekly said, "popcorn."

the male's gaze softened as he reaches his hand out to you, "don't ever let me talk to you like that ever again," he pulled you into a warm embrace, "got it?"

you nod, "okay."

he never does that again.

ITADORI YUUJI. opposites attract. opposites attract. opposites attract. i said what i said. yuuji finds you amusing, especially the way you're always so unbothered about . . . everything? he asks himself how you're able to do that, and tries to find out the anatomy behind it. which ended up leaving him more clueless than ever.

you get a cut on a mission? you were just okay. you get hit by something that wasn't directed at you? okay. you get insulted? okay. it was okay, okay, and okay with you.

although, the male is a firm believer that even you — could feel hurt sometimes. after all, you are still human, right? so he's always the one telling people off for you, even if you tell him that it's not needed and that you were okay. yuuji doesn't believe in that.

"hey, piss off — don't say that about my partner." yuuji glares at a male, eyeing him up and down in menace.

"yuuji, let's go," you grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him away from the scene, and yuuji was still giving out stink eyes to the same male, motioning his finger across his neck like a threat.

even if you didn't manage to express it, you were very very thankful for him. because he is right. you do feel hurt at times, but it was something you hear a lot so you don't bother.

YUUTA OKKOTSU. honestly, he gets pretty intimidated at first. he's always so fidgety around you — it's pretty funny. but when he actually got to know you, yuuta's a little surprised that you could crack out jokes (unknowingly), and everyone ends up laughing . . . except for you.

he's really attracted to you. and rika, well, she wasn't the keenest on knowing that (she tried to hurt you) — but yuuta was there to tell her off nicely. rika still didn't like you at all, she tolerates you at times, but after a mission with yuuta, where you found yourself in a position of taking a blow meant for him. rika still hates you (not), it's getting there, she didn't want to kill you. that's progress.

"why did you do that?!" yuuta ran towards you, grabbing your upper arm, pulling you up.

". . . do what?" you asked nonchalantly before wincing out in pain.

and i guess, ever since then, yuuta has been stuck to your hip. he gets really excited to see you, even if you don't look as excited. but still — something about you attracts him, which eventually leads to the both of you dating.

still the same, you barely show any emotions. barely. that was also progress, with him, you could actually be honest with your feelings. but with anyone else? big no.

yuuta feels very honored. protects you. tells rika to protect you. he's so in love with you.

SUKUNA RYOMEN. oh, he despises it a lot. this man, he isn't satisfied if he doesn't get a reaction out of you — which he doesn't. most of the time. at most, you're going to brush him off and walk away, which he deemed as "being angry", but he's just embarrassed because it's not often someone brushes him off just like that.

kind of like a love language. he teases you to show affection, but when you don't react. it's like a punch to the gut, like you don't acknowledge his love for you.

but sukuna would never say that out loud.

despite that, you also had a way of showing love to him. it's not one of the 5 main love languages, but it works for him. sukuna pretends not to know, but he knows. and he secretly loves it.

you always. always without forgetting a day, scribble down on a post it note and leaving it somewhere that sukuna always notices. whether it being on the fridge stuck to a magnet, on the kitchen island, on the coffee table in the living room, by the corner of the bathroom mirror, by the snack cabinet. sukuna could always find at least three in a day, randomly stuck around.

and on the note, it would just be a random "i love you" or a cute doodle of animals holding a heart or a flower for him. he didn't ask you why you do it the first few times and just goes along with it, secretly keeping them all in a secret place where he makes sure you weren't going to find out.

"why'd y'keep leaving these random notes everywhere?" sukuna grunted.

"why? should i stop?" oh, sukuna was actually a bit mortified at the thought of not finding anymore notes specifically made for him, so he could only be silent, "doesn't matter what you think — i like making 'em."

oh, thank god.

he never questions you on it ever again in fear that you'd actually stop.

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

[missshirophantom]

I love your yandere Sebastian Solace so much <3 could you make a request on him having female reader in his shop after kidnapped the reader from her journey on getting the crystal to escape the place where she is forced to stayed in his shop- Where nothing but some noisy other prisoners/people could disturb his time with being with only your presence. When one of prisoners flashed him of the flashlight she took the opportunity to escape the shop without alerting Sebastian of her leaving due not wanting to risk getting caught (sorry if this doesn't make sense)

From the author : hello! I'm glad of that. It took a while, but it's done. I apologize if there is something wrong in the written request or if I misunderstood something. I hope you don't mind that I came up with the name of this one... Stories, yes. And I hope you don't mind the slight rigidity typical of yandex. content. I apologize also if this is short or a little concise, I was in a hurry when I wrote this, plus I was busy writing one story that I finally finished. Have a nice read :D

Warning : female reader, references to bondage (not really), mention of slight isolation, threat of fracture and amputation of a limb, possessive behavior, yandere.

Number of words : 1856

I Warned You

A lot of things have been happening in your life lately. The time before you were put in jail does not matter. Whether you were actually imprisoned for a crime or not. The important thing is that in the end you agreed to the offer of a certain company Urbanshade. All you wanted was to finally get out of this prison, especially when the woman was not living very well there.

However, you never even allowed the thought that this seemingly simple matter would turn out to be so dangerous.

Meetings with these... Creatures that have left you with nightmares. You didn't even think then that it could be worse than just being in jail. At least there was some respite, but here you're just in eternal fear for your life.

You weren't exactly sure what attracted one of these creatures named Sebastian, as he calls himself. Especially when you came to his store several times for, most often, a first-aid kit.

So that didn't explain why he kidnapped you and kept you in his store. It was especially frustrating that you were pretty close to that damn crystal and the long-awaited freedom. Literally a few steps away, and then you lost consciousness before you woke up in a man's store.

You were afraid to do anything. More precisely, you tried, but Sebastian's threats were sufficiently eloquently that you did not think of doing anything to his satisfaction.

Compared to what happened to you in prison before, being here is not a bad thing. If you think about it optimistically.

There was food, albeit mostly raw meat, and canned goods from the warehouses of this base. There was also a soft, very soft, place to sleep. And a little entertainment in the form of reading the documents that Sebastian allowed you to take and talking with him.

What you definitely didn't like, and even scared, was the almost constant attempts of a man to bite you. He also kept you wrapped up with his tail all the time when you were sleeping or "annoyed" him when he was busy. You didn't know what it was about, and even if you did, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

And you also hated when he used handcuffs to keep you in his "lair" while he went to get supplies. Even when you behaved well, he did it anyway, deliberately not believing you and mocking you. Which was true, but your wrists hurt because of the uncomfortable position and even turned a little red where the metal rubbed against your skin.

You reluctantly accepted it.

An attitude, but definitely not a position.

You were afraid of what Sebastian might do to you if you did run away, but damn. You were so eager to get out and finally get freedom, despite the fact that your last attempt was unsuccessful, and the scar on the back of your neck still hurt. A reminder of your "misconduct," as a man hissed in your ear during his bad days. And then there's the daily mockery...

Even his "good" attitude towards you does not cover what is here, especially with him, is unbearable.

But subconscious fear, as well as those memories of your past escape attempts, made you freeze in place when you stood next to the ventilation hole open to customers.

About the customers...

These are the days that allowed you to exhale a little, because it was at such moments that Sebastian's close attention and obsession were less, because he was distracted by the prisoners who bought things from him. And it also lifted your spirits a little, because you could talk a little with those prisoners who did not treat girls disgustingly.

It's good that your abductor did not interfere with this, even if he frowned and became more intrusive after the person left.

You fidgeted a little in your seat while you were sitting on one of the iron boxes, looking bored at the book in your hands, which you reread for the third time. Sebastian brought you this book from one of his outings. The plot was not bad and you even liked it, although after each re-reading, the book turned out to be quite boring. And not only because you already knew the story.

You listened out of the corner of your ear to the mumbling of a visiting prisoner who was fiddling with his research, greedily looking at some of the things being sold in Sebastian's bags.

As far as you remember, this person lacked literally several dozen studies to buy this. It could be seen that they were clearly in distress.

You put the book aside, raising your head.

Sweat broke out on the man's face as they rummaged in all their pockets, desperately looking for more research, but not finding it, began to sweat harder. At the time, Sebastian was looking at them maliciously, folding his two arms over his chest, clearly enjoying the discomfort of the prisoner.

You frowned quite a bit at this. Suddenly, a rather unexpected thought came to your mind: what if?..

It is at this second that the man pulls out a Flash Beacon and pulls the trigger, clearly hoping to steal the right thing in this way.

And at the same moment, when Sebastian's angry and painful scream rang out, you rushed to the vent and crawled through it.

You acted on pure instincts, moving as if your life depended on it. You could hear an even louder, angry scream as you ran out of the hallway, followed by the sound of a gunshot.

You didn't remember how long you ran like that, but you had to run as far as possible, especially when you acted so impulsively and did not report this action to Sebastian in any way... Although, if that had happened, he would have handcuffed you to a pipe or a staircase railing... But you just wanted to feel freedom at least for a short time, even without resuming the path to the crystal.

Your legs barely held you up and hurt a lot from the sudden and prolonged running, which almost made you stumble. You were breathing heavily, almost hoarsely, leaning against the wall. Gradually, as you catch your breath, you begin to fully realize what you have done.

Damn it, what have you done?

What is the chance that in this case Sebastian will not give you a very strong punishment? And then he will move with his magician to another place so that it will be harder for the prisoners to get to him, and also so that you are not familiar with the situation?..

Although it was not this that scared you more, but what kind of punishment a man would apply for your impulsiveness ...

You swallowed nervously, involuntarily looking down at your legs, which were trembling after running... Or maybe from fear of the unknown.

You started when you heard a noise in the next room and ran again, as if your life depended on it. Which was not far from the truth.

You heard a very familiar angry growl behind you, which caused you to accelerate, panicking, looking for a place where you could hide from danger. In the next room, you find a small overturned closet among other furniture scattered throughout the room, and hurry inside. You clamped your hands over your mouth, curled up in a trembling ball in the corner of the furniture.

You held your breath when you heard another crash and thud, but it was all in this room.

— Where are you, little fish? — The voice was full of growls and hisses, quite far from human speech and literally inhuman.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to move a muscle, when you heard the sound of a body sliding on the floor, as well as the way the furniture moved, almost breaking under the force of the hybrid's claws.

— Do you remember I warned you not to run away? Or have you forgotten that?! — there was another sound of furniture moving, but this one, apparently, flew into the wall. Dangerously close to where you were— ah, I knew you were dumb, but to be so lovely?

You tried not to flinch or sob at his tone and noise as he broke furniture next to you, clearly venting his anger.

— Should I break you or amputate your leg so that you stop thinking about escaping, huh?!

You shuddered weakly, shrinking into a ball from his threat, barely breathing through the tears that silently flowed from your eyes. Of course, you guessed that something would be determined, but... No, no, no...

— If you come out now, I won't do anything to you, little fish, — the tone of the voice dropped, and the hissing was not heard so much now.

But for some reason it scared you even more, which is why the instincts in your body made you freeze in place. You've never felt so terrified, even when you almost ran away the last time. You felt like a real prey next to a large predator, ready to attack and eat right like that.

Because of fear, time seemed to freeze for you, as well as all the noise that began to move further and further away from you, indicating that Sebastian was moving away from your hiding place. You were still trembling, barely able to move for the first few seconds, when you realized he was gone.

It took about a few dozen minutes before you could move, when the paralyzing fear began to subside from you. By that time, all the noise had stopped and it was terribly quiet.

It bothered you a lot and you were afraid to open the closet door, but you couldn't sit here for a long time because of a little claustrophobia and fear that the hybrid might come back and find you.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks with a trembling hand, exhaling raggedly and hesitantly and very slowly unlocked the locker door.

At the same moment, your hand was intercepted and you were literally yanked out of hiding with your scream.

You saw your own frightened reflection in Sebastian's inhuman eyes. A sob escaped your lips, breaking the silence, then a terribly quiet voice was heard:

— I. Warned. You.

[babypinkhearts]

forgive me, for i am far too weak to control my desires.

pairing: geto suguru + fem!reader

summary: thrones of splendor and magnificence await you. you are not equals, he believes. suguru is but a mere admirer.

warnings: royalty au, prince!suguru, princess!reader, fluff, fluff, fluff, they both have massive crushes on each other, suguru is so very lovely

word count: 2.5k

a/n: my birthday was this past week and writing this seriously felt like a mini present in itself :3 prince suguru supremacy!

a summer night is tainted with some hesitance. slight frustration, too.

morning feels far.

if you could see it — the light, any peek of sun, it’s down an endless corridor. maybe you can imagine it; hope that it comes somewhat quicker.

and yet prevalence is sickly, and you’re subjected to the dark.

gojo satoru’s land is stupidly big. the palace, even worse. you’ve told him more than once; he’d refute and say he could never imagine himself living somewhere ‘suffocating.’ but there’s too much space for a single person, and the enormous balcony connected to his mere bedroom is just the cherry on top. the absence of humbleness is apparent when you’re around him, he loses some sight. you can only slightly rationalize the size because of how often he’d have people over, all poor victims to his constant need for attention. satoru grows bored easily, and if you’d all let him, he’d take everyone’s belongings and move them into his home immediately. company keeps his world moving.

it’s the reasoning for the banquets — all ‘small’ get-togethers he’d frequently host, inviting those of neighboring kingdoms, as the ‘unpretentious and welcoming’ prince of his family. the gojo clan had respectable reputations, and you loved satoru like a brother, but they all seemed somewhat out-of-touch, no matter your own title as a fellow noble.

it’s around midnight, you think.

you can still hear the band playing. the bass of trumpets and soft melody of violins are almost distant, but you feel the tremors below your feet. it’d been a miracle that you’d momentarily escaped the ruckus, as well as fleeting royals’ hands. to turn down an offer to dance, in the vicinity of hundreds of hungry, watchful eyes — a horrid nightmare.

the noise is muffled from upstairs. every conversation, every obnoxiously loud laugh. surely, nothing can be that humorous.

satoru’s balcony has a nice view, especially at night. however, any verbal compliments have always been sealed tightly between your lips whenever you visit. his arrogance grows stronger day by day — you needed to stunt it for as long as possible. he’d become a bit of a liability, you hardly felt bad for sneaking off to his room for some privacy.

there’s a few clicks behind you when you lean just a little more into the railing.

you pray the footsteps are satoru’s, because the need for some sort of herbal tea is the most prevalent thought in your head, and you have no clue where to look for it. you know that the cabinets in the main kitchen run nearly bare if it’s anything but sugary sweets, and there’s some pool of doubt in you that believes satoru probably lacks anything remotely similar that can satisfy you. he doesn’t exactly seem like the tea type.

you’re a little overwhelmed. you craved to enjoy these banquets — you had imagined that after the fifth one, you’d be adjusted — but your attendance has always felt laborious, and the attention you receive has only grown alongside your age. your head hurts from bowing to lords and queens, the occasional knight and prince. formalities are a chore, a simple game to appear the most presentable.

the footsteps behind you halt. you hold yourself steady, and turn to your right slightly.

locks of black greet you in your peripheral vision. the smell of nice cologne follows right after.

“hate it that much?”

mellow and teasing, it’s suguru’s voice that brushes through. like gently plucking at the strings of a harp, quietly catching your attention. you give him a little glance — to make him feel noticed, and maybe to get a subtle and selfish look at his face. he looks comfortable, you think. at least, as comfortable as you could seem in form-fitted clothing. he looks good, more importantly, blending in nicely with the darkness.

an owl’s coo drives the night, melting like stardust and fading into the sky. it allures you, only draws you closer to the new warmth beside you.

“yes. badly.”

you hear his laugh — it’s the type that trickles with remnants of lasting drowsiness, just hinting at the state. every movement you’re able to peek and see from him is all quite slow, and it’s a mini battle to fight a slight upwards quirk in your lips. he’s tired, it’s obvious. maybe a little inebriated too.

you’ve never felt the need to lie to him. suguru is more like a breath of fresh air; someone genuine in a world of acting.

hesitantly, you turn towards him, meeting calming, honeyed eyes. he’s a little intimidating, even with some visible fatigue. suguru’s gaze has always been piercing, and you’re nearly positive that he’s aware. there’s a confident twinge, a sight of his effect being knowingly apparent. it’s a little annoying.

“you don’t happen to hate it too, your highness?”

when you speak, you break eye contact, far too mentally flustered to continue such embarrassing torture, no matter how addictive. you can feel him still watching you (perhaps, with a small, shameless smirk), and he slowly bows his head in a nod.

“yes. badly.”

it’s you who laughs this time.

you liked suguru. you liked him a lot. since the moment you’d been introduced to him, years ago at a winter’s ball (hosted by satoru’s family, of course). he and satoru were joined at the hip, far too inseparable to even consider letting anyone in between. but then came the addition of shoko, the daughter of one of satoru’s knights (who had later turned into his own), and then you, the daughter of his father’s new royal comrade from a neighboring kingdom.

the two of you don’t swim in riches like satoru. kingdoms separated from the gojo clan require more thoughtful spending — it’s uncommon, the priority your families hold for your citizens. you blame that for the reason why suguru is so easy to talk to, so tastefully levelheaded. he sees through unhealthy voraciousness, just like you.

but a kingdom doesn’t develop without some kind of offering. a trade-off, a contribution of sorts.

you’re shaken out of your thoughts, grimness dissipated, when suguru’s head motions to the opening behind the two of you, left bare and unattended.

you’re slightly surprised shoko isn’t guarding the exterior. but, then again, she’s most likely monitoring the banquet.

“i was growing tired of a bland talk i was having.” suguru explains, leaning ahead, similar to you. an arm stretches out across the railing, and he lets out a sigh. “fresh air sounded much better in comparison.”

there’s something in his voice that you can’t exactly pinpoint. not close to a lie, however not entirely truthful. you’re unable to read it on his face. but, in all honesty, it was hard to pay close attention to anything when he was staring so intently. his eyes might burn through.

transparency reads best. and yet suguru chooses to hide the fact that he’d seen you flee from the chaos of the banquet mid-conversation, and followed right after. the desperation for your attention seemed to had overridden his rationality, and possibly costed him a bit of his reputation. (he’s sure the woman he was talking to might have bored him to death, though).

“it’s suffocating in there.” you reply, shaking your head. “i’m not sure why satoru likes hosting these so much.”

a stamped envelope with a pretty wax engraving shows up outside your castle gates every other month. you hear the stallion of a messenger, and know by the purple hues of the letter that it’s an invitation from satoru. you’ve kept every single one, storing them in a carton box below your bed.

the banquets are phenomenal. you’re left speechless every time you walk inside the ballroom, eyes drinking up every detail from hand-painted flowers on the walls to rich crystal chandeliers. the event itself is an unsaid contest to see who could dress the best, who really screams of royalty.

suguru purses his lips, eyes trailing down below where he can see some guests leaving. servants follow suit. they carry items of negligence, holding on to a toddler’s hand as their parents carelessly cackle ahead.

he makes a motion, beckoning you to crouch from any observant eyes. two young royals sneaking off to a bedroom — it’d be the scandal of the century. his parents had warned him of publicity far too often. you follow his instructions without any complaints.

from the slivers in the space, you still have a good view of the front entrance. roses and topiary line the walkway, leading down a distant road.

a familiar figure steps out, hair slightly blending in with the bright lights behind him. he waves to the departing folk, a large grin adorning his face.

“he likes a crowd. the whole family does.”

satoru was made for royalty.

your shoulders slump in fatigued defeat. the dislike for such public conventions plagues your conscience. you’ll always be tied to them, even unwillingly.

suguru looks to you, fondness in his very gaze. he feels your worry; knows of conversations that you don’t. nothing has ever been fair for you, he’s known it since you were children.

thrones of splendor and magnificence await you. you are not equals, he believes. suguru is but a mere admirer.

he sees you know, grown and enchanting. with a dress that looks so indescribably perfect, and face so pleasantly captivating. you could be in a story book. surely, you aren’t real.

and maybe he is far too smitten, eyes always chasing yours whenever you’re in the same room. at every ball he goes to, every social gathering, he searches for your name on the guest list first.

he remembers when satoru introduced you to him. the all-knowing smirk on his face, the slight shove he had given (mischievous, because he could tell how flustered suguru had become). and yet suguru had kissed your hand ever-so-gently — even bowed in respect.

he keeps hope. that your soul of sun orbits around him for eternity, and that you’ll always be within reach.

there’s more foolish thought, though.

his eyes trail to your bare ring finger.

to wed you —

well, that would be an idea of strictly fiction.

“a duke from the fushiguro clan wanted to ask you to dance. i heard him talking to your father about it.”

suguru’s voice cuts through the silence, cursed words disguised as mystic melodies.

you wince.

it’s hidden through the curtain of your hair, and you’re sure he’s oblivious to it. some part of you wishes he had kept that information to himself.

a dance is all it takes. a dance, then a conversation, then an inescapable ring. marriage is for business, not love. nothing more than the chance to unite two lands — greed runs through royal blood. it all seems hereditary.

you rub your arms gently, and shut your eyes.

“did he?”

suguru raises his head, intrigued.

your voice sounds a little exasperated. breathing a large gust of air, almost in… disappointment.

suguru nods in response, swallowing thickly. you’re friends, you’ve spoken about subjects like this for years. suguru remembers your expressions of secret distaste you would flash to him whenever another royal would attempt to make conversation. you were good at faking interest — suguru thinks you’d be wonderful performing in a play. all maturity (forcefully) weighs you down, however. a means to accept adulthood; accepting a loss of those childish glances and joyful memories. you’re still the same, though.

but could it be, that because you’re older, the age close to a bride, that it all feels much different.

suguru feels a little sick, in fact.

he glances to you, watching as your perched head rests on your hand.

“would you have gone?”

a sound of amusement leaves your lips.

he’s a little cruel to ask for a response so conflicting. it’s all melodramatic, insignificant in the grand scheme of the things. but you know your duty. your heart just doesn’t seem to follow through.

your dress suddenly feels more uncomfortable, and you straighten a little.

“would you like my honest answer?”

you’d never find the courage to lie to him, anyway.

suguru smiles, tilting his head with a small chuckle. once more — you’re a lot less proper in private, always have been. where there’s no fear of gossip or judgement, just your authenticity. no expectations to uphold, just beauty in your natural grace. suguru is blessed.

“enlighten me, princess.”

the name, while being the correct title (something you’ve heard daily your entire life), sounds different when suguru says it. it always has. he’s a siren, you fear. those mystical beings you’ve only heard tales of, the kind that keep your sailors at shore. everything sounds better coming from his lips.

guilt tears you in two.

your best interest should be aimed towards your people — more opportunities, for the price of one measly sacrifice. an unhappy marriage, for many more happy lives.

and yet you say, without giving yourself any time to regret it,

“no.”

you look a little paranoid after you speak, as if guards with chains and pitchforks are just outside the door. but that fear feels minimal when suguru is looking at you, proudly.

some confidence overrides thoughts of ridicule. he’s the armor you desperately desire. quietly, you repeat, “no. i would have said no.”

your interests lie somewhere else. not with a duke who sees nothing further than mere appearance and riches.

weight is lifted.

suguru stares. it’s imminent, his voice. threatening an appearance whenever he swallows too quickly, preparing himself for words he feels are a little too heavy on his tongue. you’re not looking at him — he thanks the heavens that you’re turned away.

he’s unaccustomed to nervousness. you are really the only trigger to it.

he doesn’t dare glance in your direction when he finally speaks.

“would you have gone if i had asked?”

it catches you by surprise.

suguru is looking into the starry distance when you turn to him. he’s smiling a little.

he looks a prince. a real, beautiful prince.

you’d danced with suguru before, dozens and hundreds of times when academy lessons would force the eventual omission of two left feet. learning to waltz was one of the most important rules in the book — a presentation of grace, ‘civility.’ but that was before the simple gesture meant more to the public eye. citizens find such a display as an act of courting.

there’s something in suguru’s expression; sheepish, maybe a little troublesome. like he knows your answer, and only waits for you to confirm it.

you enjoy teasing him, though.

“perhaps.”

there’s a twinkle in his eyes. charm in his gaze is apparent.

the band plays lowly — they’re finishing their last few songs. stringed instruments strum their tune, and it’s delicate harmonies for intimate sways. slow dancing.

a beat goes by. it enhances the feeling of slight wind across your face, pushing back your hair, servicing suguru with a clear view of your reddened complexion.

the midnight moon reaches you, it casts an illuminating glow.

you’re very pretty when you’re looking at him so shyly. as if he’d deny you anything.

a smile reaches his features, eyes crinkling in pure delight.

“well, princess,”

and a single hand reaches towards you, open and inviting.

“will you honor me with a dance?”

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

broken trust. [part 5] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you used to be very close, but he broke your heart, now your paths have crossed again

Warnings: +18, angst, swearing, mentioning about sex, violence, blood, crying, guns

A/N: this part is finished this way and not otherwise, because I'm preparing an epilogue. I have to! this part seemed too long to me. I hope you will spend a few nice minutes reading my scribbles. a few people mentioned tagging - @vickie5446 @dreamtofus @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa 🖤 

[PART 3]

A murmur went through the hall and people stared at Tommy uneasily. This wasn't good news. When all the patrols returned to Jackson, one group didn’t bring you good information..

"It's not a big group." Tommy continued ignoring the quiet discussions. "Four, maybe five men. They're armed. Michael and Alex have been watching them for a while."

"They don't seem friendly, dude." Michael, the man with the longer gray beard shook his head. "I think it's the ones from the group we ran into a while ago."

Tommy looked at Joel standing nearby.

"He means the ones you and Ellie met a while ago." He explained. "Y/N, you were very lucky you ran into each other back then."

You threw a quick glance at Joel. He must have been thinking the same thing you were. You were very lucky.

"We need to get our car back before they get to it. I know you're fresh off patrol, I understand if any of you want to back out." the men immediately gave their consent to leave Jackson again "Alright then. We'll meet at the main gate in an hour. Check the weapons. If we succeed, it'll be a quick thing."

People started to leave and only a few, like you, remained in the pub. You had nowhere to go, except to just glance at your empty apartment, so you stayed to drink some warm coffee and rest.

"You were very lucky." Tommy approached you "When you found Joel and Ellie."

"Yeah, I guess." you replied, turning the warm mug over in your hands "One of them gave me a hard time anyway. I don't know how I couldn’t have guessed that there might be more of them."

"You couldn't have helped it." the man sighed "Besides, you found Joel, and for that I will always be grateful." he looked towards his brother, who was sipping whiskey at a long bar "How did the patrol go? Do you get along?"

"It's complicated." you replied, forcing a smile.

"My brother can be complicated." Tommy looked at you carefully after a moment. "Y/N, are you sure you want to come with us? You can stay, no one will hold it against you. You look tired."

"It's fine. I want to go. After all, it was our car."

Tommy nodded and patted you on the shoulder, then went to the next group of men.

Despite trying to smile, you felt every muscle in your body. The patrol had worn you out not only physically. 

On the way back, you and Joel barely spoke. You felt that some chapter had ended between you, but you weren't sure what awaited you next. However, you didn't feel as many bad emotions as before. All the anger and sadness had spilled out on Joel in that forest, and he accepted it, feeling that he deserved it all.

A familiar touch on your back brought your thoughts back to Jackson. Joel stood by you as if unsure that what he was doing was the right thing by approaching you at all.

"It's time," he said calmly. "If you wanted to stay..."

"No, I'm ready." You finished your cold coffee and quickly stood up. "And you? Are you feeling okay?"

He nodded, but a faint smile appeared on his lips. Something had changed between you.

It was already dusk and it had gotten really cold. You were walking through the forest, divided into smaller groups. A few people had horses. You, however, felt more confident on your own feet. Tommy and Joel, and a few other riders weren’t far from you. Everything was going well. You walked between trees more carefully and slowly approached the place where you had left your car.

"I feel safer knowing that there are guards left in Jackson too." the man walking near you muttered.

In your mind, you agreed with him. You couldn't leave Jackson without protection. Everyone, however, was counting on you to return quickly and without any major problems.

You heard a strange crack behind you and turned around, aiming your gun.

"Ellie?!" you hissed, noticing a familiar face in the increasingly dim light. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm going with you." the girl replied, pulling her gun out of her belt.

"Joel knows?" you asked, but you already knew the answer. "Of course not! Ellie! He'll kill you and then me! Go back to Jackson!"

"Y/N, we're so far away that it would be stupid to send me there alone." the girl noticed, smiling slyly. "I'll stay with you. I'm safe here, with you."

You shook your head in disbelief. You knew Ellie was right. You couldn't let her go to the city alone.

"You're going right next to me, do you understand?"

She nodded and followed you like a shadow.

Now your nerves were strained to the limit. Every sound, every clatter, made your heart beat faster. However, you calmly reached the edge of the forest and saw a car abandoned in the middle of the road.

Everything looked normal. There were no infected nearby, and the vehicle seemed untouched since your escape.

"What are we waiting for?" whispered Ellie after a few minutes when, despite everything, you didn't come out of the trees.

"We're waiting for the signal." You answered her quietly, "Look."

On the other side, someone flashed a small flashlight at you. It was Tommy signaling that the opposite side of the road was safe.

"Can we go now?" Ellie was excited.

"I think so. But..."

"The last one at the car is a stinking egg!"

You didn't have time to catch her. Your fingers only brushed her jacket when the girl ran out of the forest and headed towards the car. Your heart froze for a split second, and then you ran after her with all your might.

"Ellie! Stop!" you hissed.

But you noticed immediately that something was wrong. A strange movement on your left side, it wasn't any infected.

"Ellie!" you shouted after the girl.

That made her look over her shoulder. She slowed down, and you reached out your hand towards her, and then several things happened at once.

A loud gunshot echoed through the quiet area, you ran into Ellie and fell to the ground with her, hiding her under your body, and then you heard the bang of more gunshots.

You tried not to move, afraid that whatever you did would lead to the girl getting hurt. You wouldn't forgive yourself for that, and you couldn't look Joel in the face.

You heard the pounding of hooves, screams, and more gunshots. Tommy's distinct voice, calling out to everyone. After a few minutes, everything seemed to quiet down.

You slid off Ellie and rolled onto your back, exhausted. The girl stood up and that's when you noticed it. Her pale face was terrified and her hands...

"Ellie! Is that blood?" you gasped out "Are you hurt?!"

The girl shook her head and her lips barely moved.

"Y/N... That's not my blood." she whispered.

You didn't understand her words at first. Not her blood? Then whose blood was it?

And then you understood. You looked at your side where a dark stain was growing with every passing moment.

"Shit!"

The adrenaline in your blood effectively minimized the feeling of pain, but when you realized what had happened, everything was more intense.

"We have to stop the bleeding!" the girl whispered. "Like Doc said! We have to put pressure on it!"

When she put her hands on your side you writhed in pain, moaning.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N! I'm so sorry!" Ellie whimpered "Joel! Joel!"

But it wasn't Joel who heard her voice.

"It was worth waiting for you." a male voice boomed from behind the car "I knew someone would come for that car! Now they'll have to talk to me if they want you alive."

The man was pointing a gun at you. He was tall and bulky, he must have been hiding in the car so neither of you saw him. You quickly grabbed Ellie's arm to hide her behind you.

The man's eyes wandered from Ellie to you. He was desperate, and you couldn't do anything being wounded. You lost your gun the moment you threw yourself at Ellie, and she had your blood on her hands.

"Listen, this won't do you any good..." you started slowly, trying to calm him down and buy some time "Our group is bigger..."

"Shut up, bitch!" the gun aimed at you "If they want to get their ladies, they'll have to fucking talk to me!"

It was a second before a dark silhouette appeared behind him, in an instant the man hit his head on the hood of the car, and then again and again. The gun fell from his hand, and Ellie quickly ran up to pick it up from the asphalt.

The man's bloody face didn't even flinch as he fell to the ground.

"Joel!" Ellie squealed at the sight of him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he growled angrily, but he noticed the traces of blood on her hands and face. "Did you..."

"Not me!" she interrupted quickly.

When his gaze fell on you, Joel could have sworn his heart had stopped beating.

"Joel..."

That was all you could stutter as he ran up to you. You hissed in pain as he moved your hands away, touching the still bleeding wound. You saw the fear in his eyes, but his decisions were quick and precise.

He picked you up and headed towards the car. Ellie quickly opened the door for him and put you inside, then she sat in the back.

"Joel? What happened?" Tommy rode up to the car on his horse, looking around nervously. "Is that Y/N?!"

"He shot her!" Joel growled, reaching under the keys lying in the glove compartment and turning on the engine.

"Take her to Jackson! We'll take care of the rest!"

The car started off with a screech. Ellie dug out the first aid kit from under the seat and pulled out a bandage, the same one you gave Joel a while ago. She leaned over, pressing it against your side, you groaned loudly in pain.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she stuttered quickly, but didn't stop pressing.

"What the fuck were you doing there?!" Joel snapped, throwing a quick look at you. "You were supposed to stay in Jackson!"

"Leave it." you groaned. "She's fine..."

"Yeah, but you're pouring blood on the passenger seat!"

The car jumped on the bumps in the road and your scream of pain filled the interior. Joel didn't say a word, focusing on the road. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that he was surprised it hadn't broken yet.

When he saw the gates of the town, he blinked his lights a few times and the doors opened, letting him inside so that he didn't even have to slow down much. The car stopped only in front of the clinic.

"Y/N?"

"I'm fine." you replied, although your eyes closed every now and then.

Doc was surprised when the clinic doors opened with a bang and Joel stood there with you helpless in his arms.

"Help her."

That was all he could say. Doc pointed to the bed, then quickly rolled up your shirt. You groaned and writhed in pain. His fingers touched your bleeding wound, trying to determine its size.

"I think it missed the most important organs." Doc muttered after a moment. "But I'll have to open it and pull the bullet out."

The door opened again and Ellie went inside. The sight must have been terrible, because the girl's face was pale as snow and she barely managed to mumble:

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Run for Mrs. Waltz!" Doc ordered her quickly. "I need help!"

The girl nodded and quickly ran out of the building. Doc went to the cabinet, starting to prepare the tools for the surgery.

"Joel..."

Your voice was weak, but he reacted instantly. He grabbed your blood-stained hand, and with the other he stroked your hair.

"It's okay, baby. You're safe." He said, feeling something stab painfully into his heart, and his mind screaming that he was lying to himself "I know it hurts. But it's gonna be okay, Doc will help you."

"I'm not scared, Joel..." your voice was barely audible. "I'm with you, I'm not scared..."

When you closed your eyes, time stopped.

The sink was full of red-tinged water. He stared at it as if hypnotized. The steamy bathroom was silent and the silence was in his head too. He just stared at something that used to be a part of you.

If someone ever asked him what happened after Doc made the decision to operate, Joel wouldn't be able to recall that moment. Everything was like a fog.

He knew he was sitting in the waiting room completely frozen, staring at his bloody hands. He didn't notice Ellie sitting on the other side of the room with her legs pulled up on the chair, as quiet as ever.

He didn't remember Tommy, who had appeared out of breath with the information that only the man Joel wanted to beat had survived.

He just sat there feeling that if he heard bad news, what was left of his heart would shatter into a thousand pieces.

After more than an hour, Doc appeared. His apron was covered in your blood too. He spoke strange words, Joel wasn't sure if he even understood them.

"Is she alive?" he asked finally.

"Yes, she is." Doc nodded. "Her body is very weak, but she is alive. You brought her in at the last moment, Joel. You saved her."

But he didn't feel it. He saw you through the open door, lying unconscious in the bed, and tears came to his eyes. Doc patted him on the shoulder, suggesting that he go home, wash up, and rest. There was nothing more he could do for you.

Joel put on clean clothes and then simply fell onto the bed and fell asleep in an instant. He had no dreams. He didn't even know how long he had been asleep. The weak, slowly setting sun filled his bedroom and for a moment he even forgot about everything that had happened the previous night. He came to the conclusion that he must have slept the whole day.

Ellie didn't wake him up, though. She left him a meal on the table before she left the house.

He found her some time later in the clinic.

"Hi." she said quietly, dipped a cloth in a bowl of water..

"What are you doing?" he asked, approaching the bed.

"I couldn't look at how dirty she was." the girl replied, wiping your hands with the cloth. "Doc said she had a good night. He gave her antibiotics just in case. But he thinks she'll be okay."

Joel nodded. It all seemed simply unreal to him. He guessed that Ellie felt guilty. If it weren't for her reckless behavior, you wouldn't be lying unconscious now. So she did what she could. He noticed a small bouquet of the last wildflowers on the table, she had to pick them for you.

"Joel, I didn't want her to get hurt..." the girl's voice was trembling. "I was stupid, I know that. Y/N just wanted to stop me. She didn't want anything to happen to me..."

"Yeah, I know that." he replied, even though he wanted to spill everything that was on his mind at that moment to Ellie "She'll feel better soon, you'll see."

The girl nodded and rubbed her reddened eyes with her hand. 

"Go get some rest." He mumbled, approaching her and placing his hand on her shoulder. "I'll finish this for you."

She nodded again. She squeezed your hand one more time and left, leaving him alone.

Joel sat down in her place, soaked a cloth in warm water and looked at your face. You looked like you were sleeping, and in reality, you must have been. The medication Doc gave you must have been pretty strong.

"Hi." He greeted you quietly and reached for your hand.

It was a wonderful feeling to feel your warm skin in his hand. He kissed the back of it. A sense of guilt grew in his heart. He wanted to protect you from all the evil in the world so much, and now you were lying unconscious when they had barely torn you from the clutches of death.

He felt guilty for everything and what had led to this situation. When he lied to you the first time and when he had tried so clumsily to get you back when you were on edge not knowing what to do. All his actions and decisions had led to this. He was devastated, tired and didn't know what to do next.

He adored you like this and in such moments. Totally drunk on him. Your body was subservient to his pressure and touch. His cock buried deep inside you, sweet moans leaving your lips with every exhale.

Your fingers intertwined above your head, his face hidden close to your neck. You felt his breath on your skin, so hot that it almost burned you.

"I'm so close..." you moaned, feeling his every thrust clearly "Joel, please..."

"What are you asking for, love? Tell me..."

His voice was so quiet and calm. He had been fucking you for a long time, he had given himself time to play with you, like a predator with its prey. You had already come twice and your body was sensitive to his every move and touch.

"Let me... I can't take it anymore, I want to come..." you replied, feeling his lips gently sucking the skin on your neck "You're torturing me."

"Me?" he laughed quietly "Oh, honey... I guess you didn't see yourself. So beautiful, and just mine..."

"Too much whiskey, Joel!" you laughed "A little more and I'll think you've fallen in love with me!"

Your gazes met. His beautiful brown eyes stared at you as if he wanted to tell you something. But his lips refused to obey him. Or maybe you didn't want to hear it? Such things were not reasonable in QZ.

Of course, there were families in Boston, but it wasn't the same as many years ago. There was little laughter on the streets or couples walking hand in hand. Feelings were carefully hidden within the four walls of rooms. They were safe there.

So it was better not to name anything. Live day by day, enjoy what you had. You knew that you were close to him, that he wanted to protect you and take care of you. You did the same to him. It felt good, it felt safe.

His hips moved, and his cock hit exactly the place you needed. You closed your eyes and bit your lip, sighing quietly.

"Joel?"

"Yeah, baby..."

"Joel?" your voice was so quiet and calm "Joel..."

Something strange was happening. He could feel it on himself. A strange feeling like something was moving through his hair, slowly and gently. Joel opened his sleepy eyes.

"Hi."

Your voice was weak and barely audible, but it was yours. He could see your lips moving, familiar eyes looking at him with concern. It was your hand stroking his hair.

"Hi, baby." he replied, lifting his head from his arms that were lying on your bed. "I must have fallen asleep."

"I should say your snoring woke me up."

"How are you feeling?" Joel took your hand tenderly and kissed it. "I'll call Doc."

"I’m fine. How's Ellie?"

"She's okay, although she was worried about you. I had to throw her out of here because she would have been sitting here all day."

"Oh, I see." you smiled weakly. "And no one told you to leave?"

"They wouldn't have made it."

"Mhm. Joel? Thank you." You saw him frown in surprise "Thank you. I'm alive thanks to you."

"Don't say that." He shook his head "You would have survived, you're strong. The strongest person I know."

"Oh, yeah!" You laughed quietly "I would have crawled to the car and operated on myself with a pocket knife." You squeezed his hand tighter "I really thank you, Joel."

He smiled, his face brightening.

[epilogue]

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[lovezbrownies]

More yandere Lauren please! I'm obsessed with her❤️

Sorry for taking so long!

Lauren's Masterlist + General Masterlist

Synopsis: The 4 times in a day in which Lauren acts strange and affectionate!

Lauren McCanister x GN!Reader

Warnings: None! Maybe a bit of jealous and lots of physical affection, Julie Cameo!

1. Lip looking

Lauren adores you and has no clue how to convey it to you. She tries to be nice and ends up making a horrible remark about you, she’s forever stuck in an endless cycle. Even her mother couldn’t help her, since she wasn’t the most romantic. So Lauren resorted to using physical affection rather than verbal, which did little to nothing since even if she’s cuddling you Lauren will end up saying something so horrible that will ruin it all. This woman has no control of her mouth!

One thing, however, is that she loves to drive you to and from school, picking you up in the early morning, and seeing that groggy look on your face makes waking up at 3 am for you so worth it. Today was one of those wonderful days, where she’d beep the horn of her car before stepping out, leaning on the passenger’s car door awaiting your wonderful arrival. 

Soon enough, you close the front door behind you, yelling out a goodbye to your family you turn back to Lauren and her stupid pink car. Sighing in defeat you walk over to her, not a single day has she missed to drive you to and from school, even when she’s somehow sick Lauren is there to drive you to school and back home. It would be such a beautiful gesture if she weren’t the devil incarnate but whatever, saves you on the bus fees and gas.

While you mentally groan over the fact she’s the one to treat you like this, Lauren is stood there like a buffoon, mesmerized by just… You. You looked so casual today, she could already see you together older and more mature, married and rich, and so deeply in love with each other neither the two of you would mind a messy appearance, still comfortable in each other’s presence even if it lacked the air of perfection.

Lauren was so deep in dreamland she almost didn’t notice you waiting for her to stop leaning against the passenger’s car door so you could go in. No rather than moving aside, she stood there, staring at your lips. Oh, whatever seduction tactics you had up your sleeves they’re workin’! Because dear lord is she pulled in you and your lips by now, so perfect, even if it was chapped Lauren wanted to know how it felt to kiss you, to have passionate makeouts together, anything that could give her a taste of your lips.

“Hey,” A hand stood before her eyesight, snapping its fingers, “Lauren, you want me to sit in the back or what?” Lauren quickly cleared her throat, trying as hard as she could to play off how awkward that was. God, you could unknowingly kill her one day just by living.

“N-No, just get in the car I want to grab some breakfast before we get to school, that c-cool with y-you?” Yet again she begs for your attention.

2. Hand holding

Maybe eating breakfast as dine-in was a bad idea, seeing how busy and crowded the hallways are right now. Usually, you and Lauren would get to school earlier, and Lauren would force you to sit with her until the bell for first-class rings, which she parts ways with you. But today you two came much later than usual, and are now stuck in a big crowd of smelly stinky teens.

“Lords above, the hell is this? It’s too damn- Hey! Don’t fucking push them freak!” Lauren yelled out, scaring the freshman to her very bones when Lauren saw you get pushed, “Fuck, take my hand.”  Lauren exclaimed out to you, holding her hand out for you. That single sentence surprised you so much, that you stopped walking entirely, letting the flow of people take Lauren away while pushing you off to the side.

The hell was she on? Your face expressed only one emotion, disgust. Shaking off the shock you decided to just get to class alone, even if it upsets Lauren later on. However, with the flow of students you could barely make it back in the crowd, might as well just sit here until they all pass through. You’d rather be late than bruised up from these actual animals. 

You took out your phone, ready to scroll the time away, when suddenly and out of nowhere a manicured hand grabbed your arm, flinching you tried to pull away but she gripped onto you even harder, looking up you saw the owner of the cute nails, Lauren McCanister yet again haunting you. “Lord, almost lost you, these fucking animals pushed me can you believe that? Come on, let’s go, I’ll make sure you get to class s-safe or whatever.”

Lauren then grabbed your hand, holding onto it tightly, bracing for the worst as you two attempted to pass the crowd of people. You were annoyed by it all, while she could barely breathe knowing how intimate hand-holding is in relationships. If you let her hold onto you like this does it mean you might like her too? What if you liked being berated daily? No, that she is sure you hate, but she’ll try to be a bit nicer, though she can’t control herself much.

3. Waist holding

It’s been a few hours now, it was the 4th class of the day and thankfully your teacher decided to spare the class and got permission to let the class have fun in the courtyard. You and a few other people were standing talking together about some inane subject you didn’t care for much but still participated in the conversation every now and then, it was nice to speak with people other than Lauren, it felt so great to actually have a group of people to be friends with too!

You were listening to whoever was speaking at the moment, and a friend of yours, Savannah, was leaning against you. Her long slender arms wrapped around your neck, her entire body supported by your own, and her head snuggling into your neck. It was short of an intimate pose, but you were used to it since Savannah has always been a touchy-feely friend, of course with your own consent. Some people make you feel so comfortable with physical affection, and some don’t, Savannah is one of those who do, she’s such a comforting person with an amazing smell.

Even if you were okay with her physical affection, another woman isn’t so into it. Lauren, as usual, wasn’t paying attention in class. It was English class and her least favorite subject, so what else is there to do other than cure her boredom by spamming you with text messages and then getting extremely upset when you don’t even open them so she looks out the window? However, her usual solution made her even more upset this time, in fact, the tall blonde was enraged.

This other woman was hanging off of you like it was no big deal, snuggling into your neck, looking at you as if she was yours. No fucking way will Lauren let that fucking bitch do that without any consequences, does she not know Lauren owns you?! That fucking freak might just end up dead by the end of the week. 

Lauren quickly excused herself, saying she had to go to the bath but really she was about to beat the shit out of a woman. Lauren sped through hallways, damn near smashing the floor beneath her feet as she angrily stomps to the courtyard. Though as she nears the courtyard she sees you and that woman walking out of the courtyard, the woman still clinging to your arm. Her eyes lock onto yours and suddenly her resolve just vanishes, oh you’re so stunning. Almost tripped Lauren up with your god-sent features.

Suddenly she’s become soft, and suddenly her need to beat up that woman disappears. So Lauren just marches on towards you. You and Savannah stopped walking when you saw the angry stomping of a certain bully. Soon Lauren finally reaches you and the other one, quickly pushing her off of you, Lauren grabs you by the shoulders before spinning you around and pinning you to her own body, she gives a look to Savannah before walking off with you in tow.

“W-What’s going on? [Name]! I-” Savannah tries to ask and chase after you but Lauren immediately yells out, “Leave them the fuck alone, you damn obsessed freak!” Her hand trails down from your arms to your waist, gripping onto the skin there harshly, causing you to let out a hiss at the pinch. “Heavens, she’s fucking crazy why the hell do you hang out with her? Whatever, doesn’t matter, from now on you don’t speak to her you don’t touch her, got that?” Lauren trails off until you two finally reach that one ‘abandoned’ classroom Lauren rebranded into her own romantic hangout place.

She spent the entire class period just… cuddling into you in silence covered by blankets and pillows. You managed to get her to let you go since you didn’t want to get in trouble and keep your grades up. The rest of the day, however, Lauren skipped all her classes to keep an eye on you, where she then got called into the Principal’s office with her mom and you, you were only there because Lauren refused to let you take the bus or walk home. 

4. Forehead kissing

It was quiet and awkward. Usually with Lauren, there would be loud 2000’s music playing and you can use your phone whenever. But with Lauren’s mom driving, there was no music, and there were no phones since she took both your phones away for “Social bonding exercises.” though she was the one speaking most of the time, with Lauren staring out the window clearly upset with the turn of events.

Lauren hates this, it was too awkward for a car ride, and her mom is totally crossing so many boundaries and feeding you too much information about Lauren, Lauren’s childhood, and Lauren’s secret obsessions. And Lauren knows if she tries cutting off her mom to tell her she’s saying too much her mom will only embarrass her more by saying shit like “Well, your romantic partner needs to know you better Lauren. You’re too secretive, reminds me when Lauren accidentally–” And then continues with the most horrifying story ever.

It doesn’t matter anyway, your opinion of her may have been bad before but it’s definitely worse now, how the hell will she even fix this. As she was wallowing in self-pity you were trying to count the minutes until you finally reached your humble abode. 5…4…3…2…1…Finally! You’re home! “Uh, thanks for the ride Miss McCanister..” You awkwardly say as you try to open the door, yet to no avail, the child-lock is seemingly on.

“Wait. Lauren get out and open the door for your roma-” “Y-Yeah! I-I got it! Don’t need to finish that…” Lauren cut her mom off, not willing for you to hear what her mom refers to you she quickly gets out of the car while you silently groan, you can finally get out of that damn stuffy car as Lauren opens the car door wide open for you, “Okay, good job. Now go walk them to their front door and give them a goodbye ki-” “H-Hey! L-Let’s go! Come on, walk faster, come on.” Lauren once again cuts her mother off as she quickly pushes you down the pathway to your house.

Once you finally reached your front door you tried to open the door only for Miss McCanister to yell out, “Wait! Do not enter until you both say your goodbyes! It’s roma-”

“We got it, Mom!” 

“Okay, I’ll look away so you can kis-”

“Mother!!”

Lauren and Julie back and forth until Julie finally sighs and looks away from you two and Lauren looks back at you and then immediately looks away again with a soft blush on her face.

God was it hard to find the courage to say a single damn word, every time Lauren opened her mouth to say something, she just couldn’t use her voice. So without another word, she grabbed you by the shoulders and just… pecked you on the head. You stared back at her, eyes wide and confusion clear on your face. You were fucking horrified. Why in god’s name would your bully just… Kiss your head? Just as you were about to question what the hell she was doing she planted another kiss, but it stayed a little longer and was on your forehead this time. “B-Bye!” Lauren mustered out before actually running back into the car, telling her mom to drive off as fast as she could.

This might just be a day worth forgetting. Not like you even want to remember. Yuck!

This might just be a day worth remembering. Not like Lauren even wants to forget. Yum!

[reidspharb]

part two on the angst spencer reid (happy ending if u want) 🤞🤞

How You Get The Girl

*Part two to The moment I knew

Summary: After four days of no calls, Spencer tries his hardest to fix things with you

Word count: 1.14k

Warnings: angst, fluff, lead by pure vibes idk

Note: idk whats with me and writing at ungodly hours of the night but this one was written mostly at like 1am so any errors are due to sheer sleep deprivation! also thank you so much to anon who submitted this it was really nice to give this little story a happy ending :) also first anon ask super cool on enough of this now.

It had been 3 days 2 hours and 43 minutes since you had last spoken to Spencer. He knew because he couldn’t stop thinking about that short exchange, how you were so upset you didn’t even let him explain. 

Spencer couldn’t stop staring at his phone, picking it up every few minutes, maybe I missed the notifications he told himself.

The truth was, he knew he fucked up and he knew he hurt you and missing that party was the worst decision he had made in a long time. 

Thinking about you had consumed him so much that he found it hard to complete his work. He never used his phone at work, unless he needed to call someone for something work-related.

Of course, working with a group of profilers, people began to pick up this odd behaviour. The first to notice was his best friend JJ. 

She immediately recognized his anxious demeanour, but she just didn’t know why. After a while, she ruled out problems with his mother, and that didn’t really leave many options.

Spencer didn’t have many friends - at least that they knew of- and most likely didn’t have a girlfriend either, so what was it?

JJ approached him after their round table meeting on a case just a few miles west of Quantico. 

“Hey, Spence,” she sighed settling her hands on her hips.

“What’s up JJ?” He replied, obviously trying to act as normal and natural as possible, but it wasn’t really working. 

“Nothing, I was just wondering how you’re doing,” Immediately Spencer blushed, obviously embarrassed that his co-workers were noticing his new habits “You just seem… off. Worried. Is everything alright?”

Spencer had tried to hide his shame but clearly, it wasn’t working and he just couldn’t keep it all contained anymore. 

“No, I-“ he sighed and looked down at his feet, trying to decide what to say next. Jennifer didn’t even know about his girlfriend, how would she react knowing he hid that from her all this time and also did such a heartbreaking thing to an innocent girl.

He faked a laugh and a dull smile, “No, JJ everything’s fine! I've just been a little anxious because,” he swallowed and tried to come up with a lie as realistic and believable as possible, “I’ve just been awaiting an interview for this teaching job at Virginia Tech, and uh, they haven’t told me the date yet.” He said in a nonchalant tone, praying that JJ wouldn’t push harder.

She obviously knew he was lying, the guy was a genius but he wasn’t a very good liar. Even though she knew there was something deeper, she thought if he wanted her help, he would be honest. 

“Oh, cool! I’m sure you’ll get that response soon.” She said cheerfully before walking away and clearing the conversation out of her brain.

After the fourth day had passed Spencer knew he had to do something to make this right, the regret had nearly swallowed him whole. 

When he got off work, he drove over to the closet flower shop and purchased a rather large bouquet of your favourite flowers. He remembered when you told him that a bouquet of flowers was always the best apology.

To go along with your flowers, he purchased you a birthday card, to make up for missing the party. It was a rather cute thing, with a pop-up kitten inside, he knew you would love it even if you didn’t say it. 

He scrawled a short birthday wish into the card before starting up his car and heading in the direction of your home. 

As he drove towards your house in the darkness and rain he couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when he arrived. Would you be so angry you would throw it all in a puddle? Or would you welcome and forgive him and this would all be over. Of course, he hoped for the latter, but he would understand if you were upset by seeing his face again.

Once he had arrived, his heart raced as he stepped out of the car and headed towards the front door. When he walked up the stairs, already wet from the rain, he thought of the first time he ever strolled up those short steps and your first kiss standing right there in front of your front door.

He rapped on the door two times fast and two times slow, just like he always did. He could feel himself nearly shivering as his hands just about vibrated while he waited in that infinitely long moment for you to open the door.

He heard the chain on your door unlock and as the door swung open, he saw your face. Your tear-stained, puffy, red face. Seeing you like this almost brought tears to his own eyes.

The way you looked at him ate at him from the inside.

You sighed and looked him up and down, inspecting the flowers he was holding.

“Oh my god, Spencer. Are you insane?” You practically shrieked when you realized he was standing outside your door at 9 PM in the pouring rain. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have called first before I just showed up, but I nearly lost my mind missing you.” He said truthfully. “I was just too afraid to see you and tell you that what I did was so fucking stupid and I just really h-“

Just like you had on the phone those few days ago, you cut him off, but instead of with a snarky remark, with a hug. You nearly jumped into his arms. You didn’t care if you got wet or if the flowers got ruined, you just wanted to feel him. 

After the lengthy embrace, you let your boyfriend in. He gave you your flowers and your, now wet, card and made you both tea while you placed them in a large glass vase.

The two of you sat down on the couch and you let him explain this time, fully explain. You could feel his remorseful aura, and even though what he did sucked, you didn't care anymore, you were just so happy to have him with you.

After your long discussion, you ate leftover cake, then celebrated your birthday by binging your favourite tv shows and remembering old memories.

The following morning, Reid decided to move in with you, telling you he never wanted to be away from you at a time like that again. He hung up framed photos of you all over the house of kisses on cheeks and happy memories. He would remind you nearly every morning how much he loves what you have and wants you no matter what, for worse or for better, nearly like wedding vows.

And you can say proudly he never missed another birthday.

[changbinsboobs]

Tarot Reading: Do Skz want kids? How many? Maknae Line

Finally the long awaited continuation🙌🏻

Han

He does for sure but he's not very sure on how many, and when. There's moments that he's really into the whole love story and baby fever and wants a big wild happy chaotic family with 5 kids or something, then there's monents he just welcomes the idea and thinks its a nice thing for the future and would like to have a NORMAL amount of kids, like 2, one girl one boy, and then theres moments where all of a sudden he gets very hesitant or doesn't think about it at all for the forseeable future as he's so focused on his work and gaining more success and going higher in his career. So i guess he's like most young people in his age regarding the topic😅

Felix

He wants kids FOR SURE! And im seeing him also wanting 2 maybe, so they're don't get lonely and have each others back. Im hearing, 3 is a crowd, and 1 is so lonely, 2 is just perfect. Not seeing much else there.

Seungmin

He really, really wants to have kids. I swear if that guy comes out with news for getting married or being married any time in the upcoming years i won't be surprised at all, his vibes is one if a married man in almost all of the readings i do. So he really wants to be a father im seeing and im seeing that he would prefer to have just one child he can put all his focus on. I think he really wants to be able to focus well on his child and sees it as a "project". He really wants to build a good, capable human being thats gonna be a wonderful addition to society. And he thinks he can do that better if its just one kid he has to focus on and wants to do his best as a father and gibe his most and feels like if he were to have more kids he would be able to give 100% to either one of them.

I.N

He definitely wants kids in the future, im seeing 3, maybe he would even have more if his wife was down for it or if they could adopt. I thinks he's the only one (if i remember correctly) that wouldn't mind adopting and might even try in the future if his wife isn't down for birthing so many kids. Or if she doesn't want to give birth at all, im seeing him being totally down for adopting and it not being a big deal for him at all.

[br4inr0tx]

HI I’ve been looking for someone that writes for the thanksgiving movie ever since I watched it. Masked slasher/voice changer do things to me.

Anyways can I request HCs with John Carver and someone he’s had this eye on for a while nearing thanksgiving? Feel free to get creative! Hope you have a good day :]

Sure thing! I feel the exact way about slashers..Urrhrghrh I love this man so much y’all I’m going to be SEARCHING for John Carver roleplayers AAAAA (character ai just doesn’t satisfy me enough ig 😓)

Happy Thanksgiving <3

tw - MASSIVE THANKSGIVING 2023 SPOILERS, stalking, death, manipulation, deception of gore, kidnapping.

Eric Newlon…

• Eric has had his eyes on you for a month now. He’s been very careful, as he knows all too well about how the smallest of details can ruin absolutely everything. You simply just don’t know it yet.

• The John Carver killer stalks and records his victims as you know. I’m retrospect he’s had his eyes on you longer then you think. Watching and carefully planning every detail.

• And you wouldn’t even have a clue.

• It’s around Thanksgiving time. You get around enough to know a few kids in town, and talk to people. Maybe, you even reminisce about the lives lost a year ago.

• It pains you to know that nightmare is all coming back. Faces you recognize are found missing or dead, and it’s been freaking you the fuck out.

• Not to mention those posts you keep getting tagged in are so very unsettling. Your name at a table with other chairs and names of people you may or may not recognize. The anxieties just kept coming and coming..

• Luckily, Sheriff Newlon has been there to help you during these rather compromising times. He seems to always know the best thing to say when you’re stressed out, and it’s kind of nice. You hind yourself recently stopping by his office just to spend time with him while he does research, and let me tell you, he eats the attention it right up.

• He assures you, nothing will hurt you when you’re with him. He won’t let this deranged killer harm you. You’re too sweet to lose. He jokes about how he could care less about those other foolish teenagers, but is he though?

• At work recently you’ve had these people you can’t stand. They never get their work done and seem to get away with it, along with being unserious and silly all the time. It hurts to focus most of the time..so frustrating. Their newest topic is bringing up last year’s incident too, which heightens your anxiety.

• Recently..they haven’t been showing up to work. Sure, you could use a few days without them, but now with this all going on? You can’t help but have a bittersweet feeling about it all.

• You decide to stay with Sheriff Newlon, or as he ushers you to say, Just Eric. It calms your nerves for the most part as he talks about things to get your mind off this whole mess. He promises you it fucks with his head too.

• After a minute Eric groans, shaking his head at the computer. “I gotta go copy some papers, I’ll be right back.” You nod, sitting back in your chair as you waited for his return. A long awaited return, too.

• You start to daydream, staring off at the walls aligned with case after case tied to the recent events of murders. It sent a shiver down your spine.

• You stood up, walking over to the pinboard and reading all of them. One paper caught your interest in particular, and as you picked it off the wall you knew exactly what it was. Your co-workers..they were tied to this. They went missing just like the others, and one of their purses was found on the side of the street with everything in it, from identification to money, like their only purpose was for the person themselves to be taken..

• You cringed hard reading it all, and as you tilted the paper upwards to bring it into more of the light in Eric’s dim room, the reflection on the plastic sleeve gave you quite a fright.

• After a quick turn around, you saw him. The John Carver Killer. As soon as you made a move he strikes, grabbing you and shoving you right against the desk and over it with your hands above your head, and with his free hand a Chloroform filled rag shoved roughly against your mouth and nose.

• In the hysteria there wasn’t much you could do. Anytime you struggled he’d grip your hands a little tighter as a warning. So much so he managed to crack your knuckles and almost even bend them in an awkward direction. That was until you finally fell asleep.

• When you woke up, you were at the front of the table, your hands tied behind your back. You weren’t gagged, but by the looks of your surroundings and the way the light shines through the boarded up windows nobody would hear you if you screamed anyway..

• What’s more, those pesky co-workers are around the table with you, all dead in different creative ways.

• John Carver appears behind you, placing his hands gently on your shoulders. “Isn’t this nice, Y/N? Everyone together, just having a nice dinner?” His head lowers right next to your ear. His voice sounded somehow robotic, perhaps because he was a voice changer. “Just like a Thanksgiving should be, right?”

• He sighs, like he had an amazing little daydream. The way his hands ran down your shoulders too..it’s the same way the sheriff used to. “I know you’ve been feeling lately..and I know you appreciate the true meaning of Thanksgiving. I made you something special, no strings attached..”

• You’re favorite meal, whatever that may be, was right in front of you. It looks delicious too..not any sort of gore or cannibalism you’d expect from the bodies all around. How would he know something that specific like your favorite food though? “Open up..” He feeds you the food himself, not trusting you just yet to let you go.

• If you don’t want to eat, be that way. He can warm you your food back up if you change your mind, but don’t ever say he didn’t have good hospitality.

• “You remind me of someone I used to know, Y/N..” He gently pushes your hair out of your face, feeding you another piece if you decided to play along. “So kind..not like those others who only care about themselves.”

• He keeps explaining everything he likes about you..even down to the smallest detail, which shakes you to your core. “

• “In fact, this year, I’m thankful for you. <3”

[soapssuds]

Wriothesley x New Inmate ! Reader

Warnings | fluff, grammatical errors, wrio being down bad for reader, etc.

Note | reason for reader being sent to the fortress as a new inmate is up to your imagination <3

"I don't have any work today? Nice!"

For the past few months of being at the Fortress, you found that it was a simple and easy life. Especially since you barely had to work! Now, you weren't sure if it was because you were a new inmate or something, but, honestly, you didn't care by this point since you got to laze around and do nothing for most of the day.

Honestly, it was the perfect life for you. Way easier than what you had to deal with on a daily basis back on the surface.

You felt ... at peace. Sure you were surrounded with people who committed more worse crimes than you, but at least none of them held any sort of hostility towards you. They welcomed you here just fine. And, along with a welcome from the inmates when you first arrived also came a welcome from the Duke.

In your eyes, he was an absolute dream. He had a quick wit and a body that looked good good to be true, and his face was easy on the eyes too. In other words, having a sight like him around the Fortress definitely put the icing on the cake.

Though, despite your attraction to the man you never did have the courage to actually say or do anything about it. Not that you minded. You have a particularly long sentence and, hell, even when your time here is over you might decide to stay awhile and see what new life awaited you here.

"Huh?"

Another female innate who sleeps on the bed next to yours looked over and noticed the little gift in your hands. She couldn't help but to grin, "ooo, a gift? Who's it from?"

You scratched the back of your head, "honestly, I have no idea."

The other inmate shrugged, "well, it isn't uncommon to receive gifts from the surface."

"Isn't that considered contraband or whatever that word is?"

"Oh trust me, all mail is looked through before its sent to us prisoners, so that gift is perfectly fine if it found its way into your hands. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got an early shift. See ya, y/n."

"Yeah, see ya..."

You didn't bother to watch her leave ad you looked down at the gift in your hands. Settling back into your bed, you took a seat. Your hands shakingly unwrapping the gift while also being careful not to tear the paper.

This better not be a gift from my sister... that bitch totally left me for dead.

That was another thing about the crime you committed, your sister was in on it but ditched you when you got caught. So if she sent a gift, then you know that you'll definitely blow a fuse.

Opening the small box, however, you knew it wasn't from your sister.

It was a necklace with a rainbow rose glass pendant on it.

If there was one thing you knew, it was that your sister wasn't as kind.

So, could this be a secret admirer's doing? It couldn't be someone from the Fortress, right? None of the inmates you knew had the means of getting their hands on something like this.

Maybe it was someone from the surface? Ahh..., but you were never close to anyone up there, and you were sure you never caught anyone's eye either.

Questions on who it could be swirled around your head for the remainder of the day, but, of course, despite those questions it didn't stop you from wearing such a lovely gift. A gift that didn't go unnoticed by Wriothesley whi just so happened to catch you wearing it at lunch.

And just as he had thought, it looked very pretty on you.

"You're so weird."

"Thank you, Sigewinne."

"That wasn't a compliment... I just don't see why you won't go up to them and tell them how you feel."

"For one thing, Sigewinne, we're not exactly close enough for that. Besides, the only few words I said to them were the casual greetings I give to all prisoners when they come to the Fortress."

Sigewinne huffed, "well, just promise you won't be a secret admirer for long, ok? Cause they are very good looking and I wouldn't be surprised if someone else managed to wisk them off their feet before you do."

Wriothesley rolled his eyes as he turned to head back to his office before glancing at your smiling face one more time as you chatted away with your newly made friends.

Cute.

requested | @mitsumina12345

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

And that kids is, how I met your mother Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

All my flowers grew back as thorns Windows boarded up after the storm He built a fire just to keep me warm All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressin' up as kings They fade to nothin' when I look at him

And I know I make the same mistakes every time Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right I did one thing right I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov is sick and you take care of him and both of you have epiphanies as you let your guard down. 

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, angst and comfort, lots of humor, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, mentions of death and violence, nightmares, mentions of traumatic childhood and sickness, references to It’s Okay Not to Be Okay TV Show.

A/N: Hi everyone! I’m very grateful for your kindness, love and support that means the world to me! After a long wait, here is the long anticipated and awaited Chapter 3 to this work, you have all been waiting for patiently so thank you for your patience!  I hope you all like it and I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because it means a lot to me! I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her

Chapter 2 - Labyrinth 

Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

You had no reason to be here. 

In fact, you should have been outside enjoying the nice sunshine, the lovely fragrance of flowers and cool wind. You could be anywhere at the moment. You could be training with Zoya, taking walks with Genya and David or just gossiping with Nina over your favorite sweets and hot tea. 

But here you were in Nikolai Lantsov’s chambers as you gazed at him, his blonde hair messed and disheveled, beads of sweat running down his forehead as he muttered in feverish delirium. 

Nikolai had been unwell for three days. The Healer who had been annoyed by your irritating disposition of questioning them in worry had stated that it was a fever with a cold and cough that would last a week but Nikolai would be fine. But that didn’t ease the anxiety and worry that coiled in your stomach every time you looked at Nikolai’s pale, sweaty and feverish face. He looked no better than he was the past days. Nikolai had met you in the morning three days ago looking rather unwell and when you suggested he should go rest, he had collapsed onto the ground unconscious. The feeling of dread and worry that you had felt in that moment still lingered with you. 

You knew you should leave now. You had stayed long enough. You had been by Nikolai’s bedside for the past three days watching over him, looking after him, nursing him and holding his hand in his feverish delirium when he called out for you. You didn’t plan to stay with him but something about Nikolai lying so still and unmoving made you brave through your loathing for sickbeds as you dabbed cool towels on his forehead and fed him gently through his bleary consciousness where he was barely awake. You first had insisted on sitting there watching him but Nina had persuaded you to eat and sleep. When Nikolai was asleep, you would read to him, talk to him, help Zoya, Genya and David with state affairs and brighten up Nikolai’s room with flowers.

Now you were staring at Nikolai who was burning up with fever as you desperately dabbed a watery cold cloth on his forehead as you looked at him helplessly. 

You didn’t know why you were crying. It was maybe because you hated sitting near sick people waiting for them to wake up. It was maybe because you missed Nikolai who was loud, joked around and smiled brightly and it scared you that he was lying on the dozens of pillows pale and sickly, weak and unconscious. You admonished yourself for being childish and silly as you wiped away your tears that you knew wouldn’t change anything. Crying didn’t bring what you lost. 

You wiped away your tears as you looked at Nikolai earnestly and honestly and then lightly slapped him on his cheek “ Listen to me, you ridiculous boy. I don’t care if you get better or not... there are plenty of ridiculous, silly, idiotic kings who I can become friends with. But... I’m going to give you one more chance, Nikolai Lantsov.”

You squeezed his hand gently as you smiled softly at him and didn’t let go. As the moments passed by, the sleepiness overtook you and you drifted into sleep next to Nikolai, your book forgotten on your lap. 

After an hour, Nikolai stirred through the darkness of his consciousness, feeling heavy headed and sore as everything ached within him. The light struck his sleepy and bleary eyes that fluttered open as his mouth felt like sandpaper and his body ached in exhaustion and pain. His head thrummed in pain as he shifted himself upwards feeling something soft and steady in his hand. Nikolai blinked as his eyes landed upon you lounged lazily on a chair next to his bed as your hair was a mop of messy tangled hair as your head lay on his bed next to his hand you were holding onto tightly. 

Nikolai’s jaw dropped in surprise as he blinked and then once hoping that this wasn’t a dream as he stared complete surprise and wonder unfurling and blooming in his chest at the sight of you sleeping next to him, waiting for him to wake up. It looked uncomfortable to sleep like that and Nikolai wondered how many days, hours you had been there next to him. Nikolai had never expected anyone to be there next to his bed when he woke up. He had never had anyone waiting for him to wake up and inquire whether he was fine when he was sick. They only cared about the King’s good health not about how the boy was feeling. 

Seeing your head lying down on his bed as you squeezed his hand gently and tightly made a lump of emotion grow in his throat, as his fingers quietly traced little patterns on your skin. Nikolai’s lips twitched into a small smile as he stared at your peaceful expression, relaxed stance as you slept deeply and he knew this was something he wanted forever. 

At that very moment, the door opened as Nina walked in startling Nikolai from the blissful and intimate moment he was enjoying as she observed in gladness that he was awake “Saints! Thank the Saints, you are alive and awake! Y/N was driving everyone crazy around here!”

Nikolai’s throat was parched as Nina handed over a glass of water to him and he didn’t miss the teasing smirk she threw at him as she looked at his hand intertwined in yours as you slept next to him “Nina Zenik... how long was I out?”

“Three days. You were having a raging fever with a really bad cough and cold.” said Nina honestly as she handed over another glass of water to a thankful Nikolai who drank it greedily and Nina smirked as she nodded toward you “Well, well... you two seem to be very cozy with each other.”

Nikolai nearly choked on his water as he started coughing “I - this - nothing happened between us! I woke up like this and she was just holding my hand!”

“Uh huh? So why are you still holding onto her hand?” asked Nina with a teasing grin while Nikolai glared at Nina, his head hurting really badly and Nina laughed knowingly “Don’t wake her up. She has had no proper sleep staying next to you all the time these three days.”

“What?” queried Nikolai stunned and shocked at the revelation of you staying by his bedside every moment of the three days where he tossed and turned in sickness and restlessness. Nikolai felt something odd and wonderful bloom in his chest as he wondered why you would do that for him. “Y/N... she was here with me all this time?”

“Oh yeah. Such a stubborn ass, wouldn’t leave you alone. She insisted on nursing you and looking after you. She nearly strangled and had a shouting match with the Healer because you weren’t getting better.” said Nina honestly and sincerely, her lips twitching into a small smirk at remembering how today morning Zoya, Genya and her had to calm down a fight between you and a Healer who had argued about the best course of medicine to be taken. “I’ve never seen her so worried about anyone.”

Nikolai’s eyes glinted in amusement and surprise as he looked at you softly amazed at how protective and worried you had been over him. There you were resting deeply, your head wandering in peaceful and sweet dreams where your worries and nightmares were washed away. 

“I didn’t know.” whispered Nikolai in amazement wanting to run his fingers through your hair. “I suppose it’s natural for her to be worried about her friends.”

“No. Y/N hates sickbeds. Loathes it with her life. She hates getting sick and sick people. She doesn’t really stay by anyone’s side when they are sick because...” said Nina quietly and softly with a protective gleam in her eyes and cut off her sentence, stopping herself from revealing anything important “This is the first time she’s stayed by a sickbed... so you must be someone very important to her.”

Nikolai looked over at you. You hated sickbeds so much and yet you had stayed firmly by his side, refusing to leave him. He wondered why you hated sickbeds and what changed your mind about staying next to him. Why were you beside him when you could leave and spare yourself the horror?

Nikolai was greeted by Zoya and Genya and the Healer who was sent for. Nikolai noted that the Healer sent a look of relief at the fact that you were sleeping as he was examined by the Healer. As the Healer finished examining him and spoke about his quick recovery if he adhered to bed rest and drinking his medicine, you stirred awake from your deep slumber as your eyes fluttered open and you groaned as you hoisted yourself up to meet his hazel eyes. Nikolai saw your eyes widen in pleasant surprise and grateful relief as they darted across his face and swore your hand tightened on his with gladness. Nikolai saw you take in your surroundings as you blushed when you saw Zoya, Genya and Nina grin and waggle their eyebrows in teasing. 

But your demeanor grew stiff when you saw the Healer who prescribed tonics and rattled out cures that frankly you didn’t believe as you questioned the Healer skeptically making Nikolai hide an amused grin and the Healer breathe out in exasperation “Out of the both of us, I believe I have studied the intricate art of human anatomy thoroughly. Therefore, I don’t think I need your suggestions.”

You glared at the Healer as you pursed your lips while Zoya, Genya and Nina quickly ushered the Healer who threw you a dirty glance out of the room while you carefully inspected one of the tonics given for a coughing fit. 

“You shouldn’t have been that hard on her. After all, she knows what she is doing.” said Nikolai quietly in amusement as he stared at you inspecting his medicine skeptically. 

“I studied medicine at the University of Ketterdam and apprenticed with one of the finest medik for a few months.” you said pleasantly as you rolled your eyes at Nikolai “I think I know far more than I let people know.”

“What? When? How?” spluttered Nikolai in bemusement and surprise at the very shocking revelation because he couldn’t imagine you dilligently studying medicine at the University of Ketterdam. 

“For a mission to retrieve information.” you replied shortly and then kept the medicine away as you looked at Nikolai who had, had better days “So... you’re not dead.”

“Sorry to disappoint. It didn’t suit me.” replied Nikolai playfully with a grin as you smiled softly “Were you crying over me, Y/N? Tears of sorrow?”

You glared at him fiercely as he laughed “Tears of joy. I hate finding new Kings to befriend.”

“Ah. Why did you stay with me here while I was sick?” queried Nikolai curiously with a small smile but his heart wanted to know the truth as to why you cared so much. “You could have entertained yourself with the delights of the palace.”

“I didn’t want you to feel alone when you woke up.” you said softly and quietly, your face gleaming in thoughtful contemplation as your eyes glinted in understanding and companionship that took Nikolai’s breath away “I know a little of how that feels like and I never want anyone to feel that way.”

“Well, I’m sick and tired so if you want... you can tell me how you know the feeling of being alone.” proposed Nikolai softly as he looked at you intensely, his breath catching in wonder and affection.

You were silent for a long moment as your eyes strayed into a land where Nikolai could not follow as your face grew deadly quiet and reminiscent as you finally spoke “My mother, brother and I came to Ketterdam when I was little. I barely remember my village. Ketterdam became my home the moment we stepped foot there. We were hungry, poor and alone in the land of the wicked.”

“My mother did odd jobs. I remember her always complaining about how she should have had no children, then there would be no mouths to feed. My brother...” you trailed softly in quiet remembrance as pain and grief seeped in your eyes as a flicker of a tiny smile appeared on your face while Nikolai listened in rapt attention “My brother... was big on dreaming. He wasn’t like my ma... he was very positive. He would always be tired after his day but he never went without teaching me every day and dropping me off at the library, encouraging me to read and talk with him. He’d have these crazy ideas on how to change the world... how we both could do it. He had a dream that he’d save up enough money one day so I could attend university and ‘become a lady’, he called it.”

Nikolai smiled at the description of your big brother that he thought he would like to meet as he replied quietly “I like him. He sounds like a lad full of hope. I’d bet we’d get along famously if we ever met.”

Your eyes flickered with grief but you smiled at the thought of these two boys meeting but your smile was brief. Nikolai watched your face harden with steel and grief as your eyes were full of tidal waves of fury and suffering as you gripped the arm rests of your chair so tightly that your knuckles grew completely white. 

Nikolai felt concerned at the sudden change as he leaned toward you because he had never seen your kind and good - humored demeanor suddenly and quickly change into one of vengeance and fury fueled with grief and broken trust. 

“You can meet him. If you plan on dying.” you retorted quietly but there was a cutting edge to your voice that took Nikolai’s breath away as the overwhelming realization of the truth of where your brother was hit him hard. 

Nikolai’s eyes widened with concern and understanding “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your pity.” you replied harshly as you looked away from Nikolai “People die all the time. It’s what defines life. Nothing lasts forever.”

Nikolai didn’t understand how to comfort you because what could he say that would fill the hole the loss of a loving brother left in your heart? He wanted to say so many things to you. He wanted to hold you in his arms and never let you go. He wanted you to know that he understood the grief of losing a brother too. Nikolai wanted to take away all the grief and sadness that spoiled your life and grant you nothing but happiness and love all your life. 

“When the firepox plague hit Ketterdam, my brother and I got hit with it. My brother wasn’t struck down badly as I was... I was dying. My mama told us we’ll be fine, that finally she had found a medik who would treat both of us... treat me and give both of us the medicine. We believed her... we thought we’d soon get better together.” you said quietly and reminiscently as you remembered the coughing fits and burning fever that made you delirious as you held onto your brother who stroked your hair gently and told you stories and sang you gentle lullabies giving you hope. 

“The firepox made me delirious and weak... weaker than my brother. The last thing I remember about my Y/B/N is seeing my mother hand a few kruge to the medik with a lily tattoo who gave her more kruge and dragged away my struggling brother. My spinning feverish head thought he’d come back all cured.” you said with a dark gleam in your tearful eyes as you fiddled with a purple ribbon that you had tied around your finger, your heart feeling bitter and broken as you had realized the truth far too late. “I tried to call out his name but I couldn’t speak and before I could do anything... my mother laughed and knocked me unconscious.”

“When I woke up... I was on the street all alone. I was meant to die but somehow I survived.” you whispered softly as you looked at Nikolai whose expression was one of horror and shock as he stared at you wide eyed in amazement and pain as you felt incredible grief and agony within you “Alone in Ketterdam... I learnt to fend for myself. After I really realized what happened to my brother, all I did was try to find my brother.”

There was only one thought that echoed in your head after you woke up, in every moment of your waking hours and dreams after you survived and motivated you to keep going.

“I need to find Y/B/N. I need to find him. I need to make sure he’s okay. No matter how far away you are, where they have taken you, I’m coming for you and I will never stop until you are safe!”

“I did everything. I tugged on every string and listened for every whisper and waited patiently and sharpened my skills because I knew he was alive. I felt it in my heart.” you said honestly and quietly with thoughtfulness and reminiscence in your eyes that met Nikolai’s curious and shocked hazel eyes that gleamed with empathy for you as you remembered how you had met the Devil himself “I tugged on one of the strings Kaz was working on and he helped me with his contacts and finding information on slavers and indentures.”

“I finally found Y/B/N. He was alive. And I knew I wouldn’t rest until he was safe. The plan was we free those captured along with my brother. I remember I managed to free him with the help of the Crows but the slavers wouldn’t let him escape easily. One of the men tried to shoot me but my stupid brother... took the shot meant for me! He was so brave until the end... and I hate him for that.” you spat out in anger and pain as your eyes were filled with tears that trickled down your cheeks, the bottled suffering and grief suddenly uncorked and broken as you remembered how you had let out an inhumane howl as your brother caressed your cheek and asked you to smile for him one last time as he tried to tell you everything you didn’t get to tell him. 

You remembered his last moments clearly as if it was yesterday. 

“You listen to me. You’re going to be alone now. You’re going to be furious, angry and sad. Whatever happens next, wherever you go... always be kind and brave.” breathed Y/B/N harshly as you tried to stop the blood from flowing out while the rest of your friends looked upon you respectfully with sadness as you shook your head in denial and pain and your brother held your hand tightly as he could while Nina was trying her best to save him “Please... this is an order. Don’t you dare turn into a monster... don’t insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die... and no one will get hurt.”

Kaz had looked at you intently as you gazed upon your brother in stunned disbelief and denial, your hands warm with his blood as you cried “What about me?”

“Let’s both be brave.” he whispered softly as he pressed a soft kiss onto your hand, his eyes fluttering as the light began to fade. 

“No! No! Stay with me! Stay with me! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do this!” you screamed and shrieked as tears fell down your cheeks in big fat drops, heartbreak and disbelief written all over your face as you tried to stop Death from taking your brother. 

“Smile for me... one last time... my brave princess...” whispered your brother with a brave and reassuring smile of his own as he tried to wipe away your tears while you couldn’t understand why he wasn’t fighting to live as you managed to smile a little for him and his face grew content and happy as he drew his last breath “Don’t worry... in your dreams, I’ll still be there.”

“Please don’t leave me! Please, I won’t leave you! Stay with me!” you sobbed in piercing agony and suffering because you had never felt this type of pain in your life, the pain that tore you open and made you bleed until there was nothing left as you buried your head into your brother but suddenly there were more gun shots, Jesper trying to drag you away from your brother but you were being stubborn until you heard a rough salt stone voice apologize quietly as he dragged you screaming away from your dead brother’s corpse. 

“Y/N!” exclaimed Nikolai’s concerned voice interrupted the flashback as you came back to reality startled and alarmed. “Y/N!”

“I’m fine. I just remembered.” you answered quietly with a sad smile that made Nikolai’s heart ache with hurt and pain at the sadness that tugged at your eyes. “Do you want to know how the story ends? What I did to those who killed my brother?”

Nikolai took a sharp intake of breath as he felt his heart pound loudly in his chest as he stared in quiet shock and understanding at you, the darkness within you that had been unleashed freely in front of him as it taunted him. Your darkness and mercilessness that you had displayed with vengeance and cruelty came to light in front of him and seemed to laugh at him, challenging him to truly see you for who you were and asked him whether he could truly love a girl with blood on your hands. Nikolai looked into your eyes dark with mercilessness and vengeance and saw that whatever you did to those who had taken your brother from you, they had suffered until their last breath more than they could handle.

You challenged him to leave you. You were hoping that he would be afraid of you and run away.

Well tough luck because Nikolai was here to stay. 

“I don’t care what you did to them.” replied Nikolai with surety and certainty that surprised you. “I care about how you feel.”

“You won’t hate me if I told you I tried my best to obey my brother, to not insult his memory with bloodshed but I failed because my spite and anger got the best of me? That I couldn’t rest until I had ripped out their heart as they did mine? That before they died, I taunted them with their worst fears and demons? That when they died, their last thought was nothing but fear and shame, screaming for me to have mercy on their loved ones? That I skinned them and hung their heads in the Fifth Harbor as a warning to all slavers?” you questioned, sitting in your hurt and pain as you remembered how you had been vicious and cruel in your quest for vengeance, your spite and hatred clouding your heart as you unforgivingly snatched away the lives of those men.

There was utter and complete silence between them as you looked into Nikolai’s hazel eyes flickering with soft understanding and quiet empathy as he stared back at you as if he was seen you for the first time and finally he spoke, his voice barely a whisper as he extended his hand to you “I can only assure you that I hope they knew the meaning of pain and regretted snatching your brother’s life in their last moments.”

Your eyes widened in shock because you didn’t expect Nikolai to understand you and agree with you. You had expected him to gasp in shock and push you away in loathing and hatred. You had expected him to see the truth of your darkness and the devil you saw in the mirror and feel nothing but anger and loathing toward your twisted and crooked ways and choices. You hadn’t expected him to understand your bitter past and all the times you couldn’t be good and sweet in this world.  

You looked at Nikolai who extended his hand toward you in welcome as you reluctantly placed your shaking hand in his as his fingers wrapped around your hand reassuringly and tightly, a promise to stand by you through your darkest times glinting in his hazel eyes. 

“The worst thing you’ve ever done, the darkest thought you ever had, I’ll stand by you through it all.” whispered Nikolai sincerely and softly, with staggering honesty and affection in his hazel eyes that took your breath away. 

You couldn’t breath for a moment as you met his unwavering gaze and spoke hoarsely in disbelief “And why would you do that?”

“Because...” began Nikolai, the three words dancing on the tip of his tongue in certainty ready to spill out but he felt scared at confessing those sacred words that could change everything “Because you’re my friend and I won’t leave you.”

Nikolai saw your eyes flicker in surprise and warmth at his confession as you looked at him in quiet gratitude and wonder as you held onto his hand, a small smile appearing on your face as you were lost for words and he squeezed your hand “Did you love your brother?”

Nikolai saw your brow furrow with pain and grief as you glared fiercely at him in response and he looked at you gently “Then stop blaming yourself and hating him for what he did. He died for who he loved the most in this world and believed that your life was worth living.”

You felt a lump of emotion swell up in your throat as tears pricked your eyes and you looked away because this grief was a tidal wave that you thought you could survive but a part of you felt empty and useless as you croaked out “It just feels - it doesn’t feel fair. He had a life ahead of him. I could have... I could have saved him but I just froze.”

“This - it’s just - it feels as if a part of me died with him that night. Whatever I do, he won’t be there.” you said as a tear rolled down your cheek as you felt the grief that had persevered in the form of love for your brother “It’s been years and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. I loved him so much!”

Nikolai understood the pain and grief of losing someone he loved deeply. He truly understood the pain and suffering that overwhelmed him at the remembrance of seeing the light fade away in the eyes of his best friend and brother, Dominik as bullets flew overheard them and explosions were the sound of his heart breaking. He felt tears prick his eyes as he remembered how Dominik had taken the bullet for him willingly with such courage and fervor, with the belief that Nikolai would be the one to make Ravka right again. 

“I know.” said Nikolai sincerely as he shifted toward you, both of his hands reaching out to cup your hand in his as he pressed a gentle kiss on your knuckles as you cried “I understand. But I have a feeling nothing was going to stop him from saving you.”

You sniffled as you felt that Nikolai wasn’t talking about just your brother, he was speaking from a deeper, tragic experience from his past that was full of grief and suffering for him after losing someone he loved as well as you buried your face in his hands, your lips gently brushing a kiss on his knuckles as you squeezed his hand comfortingly as you realized this was the second time you had let yourself truly break down. 

The first time you had broken down was with Kaz. After your brother died, you had lost sight of all meaning and purpose of life as you silently screamed and drowned in the abyss of pain and grief. You had lost appetite, the light in your eyes had extinguished, tears and regret were your constant companion as you locked yourself in your room. Your friends had tried to help you but they didn’t understand you as you pushed them away. 

But you hadn’t expected Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the heartless bastard to sit outside your room and keep you company as you cried your heart out, bring you food and sustenance that he forcefully fed you, sit in quiet silence with you, stand in the rain waiting for you as you sat by your brother’s grave on the day of his funeral not moving for a long time as you tried to comprehend reality and quietly confide little pieces of his past about Jordie as he made your grief, anger, vengeance and pain understood and seen. His gestures had been quiet but it had meant the world to you. Perhaps that was when you had started to fall for Kaz Brekker without even knowing. 

You took a deep breath as you wiped away your tears with the sleeve of your black shirt. You suddenly realized that it wasn’t your shirt. It was Kaz’ shirt, one of the many you had stolen from him and he had let you borrow it with that little smile of his as he reassured you that you looked better in it with that sly twinkle in his dark eyes. You had always felt safe and cozy in his shirt as you felt a sudden sense of quiet pain and soft affection bloom in your heart for the Bastard of the Barrel who had found a way to be with you through all these miles. It smelled like him, cuttingly comforting and honest as the fragrance of sharp mint and clean soap seeped into your senses making you feel dizzy. 

“Y/N?” asked Nikolai with furrowed eyebrows as he looked at you who looked lost in your thoughts “Kruge for your thoughts? Does my presence bore you so much that you are lost in thoughts of a certain enigmatic Bastard of the Barrel who broke your heart?”

“What? No!” you exclaimed shaking your head in denial and surprise at how well Nikolai could read you as a faint color seeped into your cheeks. “I wasn’t thinking of him!”

Nikolai’s heart cracked in hurt and pain as he coughed but shook his head slightly as he smiled sadly “You have an expression when you think of him. It’s wistful and sad with a touch of fond happiness. Your eyes... they do this thing when you think of him where you are smiling and happy but your eyes are big and sad. It’s like you’re feeling two emotions at once.”

You were surprised at how sharply Nikolai had observed you and understood you as you were silent for a few moments and you finally found your tongue “I - I - I just got lost in my thoughts. That’s all.”

“Do you miss him?” asked Nikolai, feeling a sharp pain in his heart as he thought of your head full of thoughts only of Kaz Brekker.

There was a long moment of silence as you looked at Nikolai so intensely with quiet contemplation as you tugged on the sleeve of your shirt and whispered “Sometimes.”

Nikolai felt a spark of hope light up in his heart as he felt your gaze burn him intensely and passionately as he realized that you were beginning to perhaps take tiny steps to move away from Kaz without you knowing it. He felt breathless as he felt your quiet burning gaze on him, making him feel warm and tethered, dizzy and happy. There was something in the way you looked at him now that had changed. Your eyes smiled softly and fondly with sparks of affection when you looked at him and Nikolai felt his head spin not entirely from the fever at the thought of you loving him back. 

Nikolai was tongue tied and speechless as he looked away trying to squash the traitorous hope in him that had blossomed since the last night they had spent together at the ball and now was lit afire at the way you were looking at him, looking so beautiful as you sat by his bedside when you could have been doing anything in the world. 

“Are you thinking or have you finally found a way to be silent as a grave?” you remarked sassily as you looked fondly with a teasing smile observing Nikolai who had fallen into a thoughtful and confused contemplation. 

Nikolai smiled softly “No... just thinking.”

“Don’t think too much, it might hurt that pretty head of yours.” you snarked with a fond and teasing smile as you observed Nikolai who looked exhausted and sick as his eyes fluttered shut for a moment “What are you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.” said Nikolai tiredly as he lay back on the pillows, his head aching profusely and stubbornly as he closed his eyes and you didn’t press and prod further. 

You reached for the medicine that lay on the cabinet as you realized that Nikolai needed to drink his medicine and took them into your hands when Nikolai opened his eyes “What are you doing, my love?”

You ignored the fluttering in your stomach at the little endearment Nikolai used to address you as you poured the medicine in the indicated dosages “You need to drink your medicine, Nikolai to get - SAINTS, NIKOLAI, DON’T TRY TO RUN!”

Nikolai’s eyes widened with horror at those words as he tried to get up, his body aching with pain as he tried to run away but he got tangled up in the dozens of pillows and blankets as he cursed ignoring your shouting, and when he finally managed to stand up, he felt you hold him from behind preventing him from leaving the bed. 

Nikolai struggled and screamed, kicking his legs like a little child while you snapped “Come on, be a good boy and take your medicine to get well - OUCH, YOU WRETECHED TERROR, DID YOU FUCKING BITE ME?”

Nikolai grinned widely as he tried to slip away from your grasp feeling slightly bad for you but he was not going to take his medicine as he heard you admonish him “Nikolai, I swear, I’m sick of you!  Come here now before I make you!”

“OH YEAH? TRY ME!” challenged Nikolai as he managed to stand up and wobble with the bloody blankets wrapped around him. 

You were not going to tolerate Nikolai biting you and challenging your authority as the responsible caregiver in this situation as you took off your earrings “Oh no, oh hell no! You see, I’ve been treating you with respect like a King but I forgot what you really are... a whining brat waiting to be punished!”

Nikolai was stunned for a moment as he felt his soul leave his body at your words and the furious and commanding glint in your dark eyes as you cornered him and leapt upon him making him scream, your legs wrapping around his waist tightly as you pushed him back onto the bed with no hesitation and mercy as he fell back to the bed, tangled up with the blankets and you on top of him.

You were on top of him, your legs wrapped around him as you held him down by the shoulders, your face just inches away from his. Nikolai was going to die. This was how Nikolai died. Not bravely in battle. Not saving anyone’s life. Not peacefully in a deathbed. No, Nikolai knew he was going to die because you were now holding him down with a wicked grin that was going to be the death of him because he was having multiple heart attacks at the fact the girl of his dreams who he loved with all his heart was on top of him with a deliciously wicked smirk, your eyes glinting in amusement.

“I told you not to test me, you wretched brat!” you exclaimed in exasperation as you slapped Nikolai twice on the cheek making him groan in submissive enjoyment and slight pain. 

Nikolai was sick but he had to admit this was a pleasant outcome of having fever and cold as he smirked “Saints, I’m loving the view. Care to slap me again?”

“I am not going to give you the satisfaction.” you replied, your cheeks coloring a rosy pink much to Nikolai’s delight as you took the medicine and he wriggled underneath you trying to escape but you had a hold on him “Nikolai, don’t make this harder than it already is! If you don’t drink the medicine -”

“What are you going to do? Spank me?” challenged Nikolai with a teasing twinkle in his eyes as he grinned at your flustered blushing expression but his thoughts were now in a place of pleasure and delight with you and him, nothing but kisses on your skin and hearing you scream out his name. 

You spluttered but schooled your expression into a stern and honest one as you replied coolly “No. If you don’t take the medicine and behave yourself... I’m going to leave Ravka tonight and never come back again.”

Nikolai froze underneath you in shock because he didn’t believe you, only thinking that this was just a trick to get him to drink his medicine “You’re lying.”

You slipped away from Nikolai easily and he winced at the loss of contact with you as he itched to reach out and wrap his arms around you to keep you close to him and you replied completely seriously “Make smart choices if you don’t want to find out the truth.”

Nikolai flinched as he looked at you because he didn’t want to believe that you’d leave him in this state. He didn’t want to believe that you would leave him and never come back for him. But the truth was, why would you stay? There was nothing tying you down to Ravka and he was just a friend to you, a companion who you were friendly with during your holiday. Ketterdam was where your heart was. 

Nikolai suddenly felt that he didn’t want to find out the truth and thought the bitter medicine was a better option than have you leave his side as he snatched the medicine from your hands “You win, you impossible girl.”

Nikolai saw a small smile appear on your face and he felt warmth bloom in his chest at making you smile and thought he’d always let you win to see you smile as you gave him his medicine “See, that’s better. Here drink these. You’ll feel better.”

Nikolai pouted as he took the first dose of medicine and promptly started coughing at how bitter it was as he felt you pat his back sympathetically and he exclaimed “THIS TASTES LIKE ROTTEN EGGS AND DEATH!”

“Is there such a taste?” you queried curiously as you hid your amused laughter and you were shot a glare by Nikolai “You have to drink the other two as well, Nikolai.”

“I rather die.” said Nikolai dramatically as he crossed his arms with the privileged air of a spoiled king. 

“If you drink the medicine, I’ll kiss you when you’re better.” you said casually as Nikolai started coughing in shock at your words. 

“Don’t tease me.” retorted Nikolai looking at you in disbelief and surprise, as his jaw dropped in amazement because he couldn’t handle the thought of you kissing him properly. 

“I’m not! I swear on my honor!”

“You don’t have much of that. You’re from Ketterdam.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll leave, you stubborn ass!” you exclaimed as you put your hands up in the air in surrender, pretending to walk out and leave when Nikolai immediately surrendered to you.

“No, no! I’ll be good! Please don’t leave me!” exclaimed Nikolai immediately not wanting you to leave him alone as he quickly drank the medicine you had given him. 

You were surprised at his earnestness and sincerity in wanting you to stay as he finished drinking the medicine with a disgusted expression and groaned “The things I do for you, my dearest Y/N.”

Nikolai felt drowsy as the medicine sank in and his eyes fluttered with exhaustion and he sank into the cozy pillows as he suddenly felt the exhaustion catch up with him. He felt sticky, dirty and sweaty, the fever making him feel absolutely unclean. He wanted a bath but it was just so hard to move. As if you had read his mind, Nikolai can hear you ordering for a warm bath for him. Nikolai wants to call out your name, reassure that he doesn’t need you to do everything for him but the fatigue overwhelms him as he tries to stay awake. 

And besides, Nikolai feels that it would be nice... just for once to have someone take care of him. Even though that thought deeply offends him because he hates feeling so weak, so dependent on someone. 

“Nikolai.” he hears his name called out gently and sweetly by you as he jolts awake from the place of sleep he had almost fallen to. 

He sees you gently looking at him in concern “Nikolai, the bath is ready.”

Nikolai stands up on his own. He is sick but he isn’t weak. He can do this on his own without help as he takes a few steps, his vision slightly blurring and he realizes that it’s taking more energy than usual to walk. His legs tremble but he is determined that he won’t fall. He is grateful that you are not fussing and coddling over him. He doesn’t need help.

He almost makes it to the bath when his trembling knees and buckle and give away. You catch him before he falls down and Nikolai hates the feeling of being so helpless and wants to just push you away and reassure you that he can do this on his own. 

“I can do this -” began Nikolai in wavering determination as he looked at you in exhaustion but you interrupt softly.

“I know you can.”

But you don’t let go of Nikolai as you guide him to the bath gently and steadily, your hands holding him gently enough to reassure him that you were there for him but also showing him that he could break away from you any moment he liked. Nikolai sees the golden gilded bathtub with steaming warm water and feels you let go of him as you help him sit down on a stool and then turns around. Nikolai thinks you will leave and as much as he wants it, he feels weak. 

But you stay, your back turned toward him as you remain silent while Nikolai takes off his sweat soaked clothes. He wants to ask why you are staying with him but a part of him is just too exhausted and grateful that you are present with him. Nikolai looks over at you in curiosity mingled with teasing amusement and quiet thoughtfulness as he wonders what your reaction would be to his naked body. Women around him swooned and never hid their desires when he was fully clothed. He wanted to know what the one he desired was feeling at this very moment. Did you desire him too? But you didn’t seem moved at all by the fact that Nikolai, the King of Ravka was undressing behind you. Nikolai was not shy about his body and for some strange reason, he felt safe with you and trusted you not to be lewd in this situation. 

Nikolai dips himself into the bathtub, the warm water kissing his aching muscles and calming his mind. He reaches for the sponge only to drop it along with a few bath salts. He groans wanting to stand up and reach for the sponge but he just couldn’t bring himself to move. 

You hear the clattering and turn around to see Nikolai weakly looking at the fallen sponge and the bath salts. Your eyes meet his vulnerable hazel eyes and you suddenly feel heat creep up your neck at this unusual situation. You knew Nikolai could handle himself but he just looked so small and vulnerable, weak and exhausted by the sickness. You avert your eyes from his well chiseled and handsome body as you dispose of his filthy clothes and pick up the bath salts arranging them in order and pick up the sponge under Nikolai’s curious gaze. 

Nikolai feels his heart beating loudly as he feels small and vulnerable, naked with the woman who he is head over heels in love with as he sees you avert your eyes respectfully. He expects something, a reaction but you just busy yourself with arranging bath salts. 

Well, this was the first in all his encounters in his wild youth. He had certainly never had a woman avert her eyes away from his body in such a compromising situation and you surprised him with your innocent reaction. 

Nikolai sees you look at his face, your eyes never shifting downwards and feels something odd and quiet bloom in his chest as he slips down into the tub relishing the warmth of the water and comes up. He looks away from you expecting you to hand the sponge and leave with some sarcastic remark or flirtatious remark but you stop by the bath instead. Nikolai can feel your gentle presence waiting for him and lifts his eyes to meet your quiet eyes that holds the sponge that is easily within his reach. 

But your eyes speak what silently echoes among both of you as you seek permission from Nikolai. 

“Can I take care of you?”

Nikolai wants to take the sponge and do this himself to prove that he isn’t helpless. But there’s something gentle and tender in your eyes that stops him. And Nikolai is really exhausted. He wasn’t just exhausted by the sickness, he was exhausted with running Ravka, dealing with ignorant ministers who were blind to the needs of people, exhausted of compromising and smiling, exhausted of being different versions of himself that the people needed and wanted him to be. It would be nice to have someone take care of him for once in his life. 

Especially if that someone was you. 

Nikolai meets your eyes and gives the tiniest of nods daring you to have the bravery to stay and you nod at him as you sit next to the bathtub. 

You slow your pace of breathing and steady yourself as you dip the sponge in water before lathering some soap in it and waits for Nikolai to initiate contact. Nikolai raises his arm out of the water and you take it gently and tentatively, bringing it closer to you as you slowly and gently begin to wipe the sponge under the space between his fingers, the top of his knuckles, the skin of his hand and palm. You notice that Nikolai isn’t moving or wincing at your contact and you continue to do so gently. 

Meanwhile Nikolai was having a heart attack. He was certain he was having a heart attack because his heart had never raced this fast before. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, his feelings of shock, surprise, amazement and wonder were clouding his screaming mind as he stared at your thoughtful concentrated face in breathless awe wondering for a moment whether he was having a fever dream. He couldn’t believe that the woman who he was in love with was gently and tenderly taking care of him in his most vulnerable moments as you cleaned him in the bath. Nikolai stared at you work skillfully and gently as you wiped away dirt and sweat with the soapy water as you began to clean the other side of his hand. Nikolai’s senses are assaulted with the gentle fragrance of lavender as you rinse and lather more soap. The scent is gentle and sweet, and calms his mind. He breathes it in greedily and wonders whether you did this with anyone of your past lovers. 

Suddenly he felt small and insignificant and didn’t want to think of you doing this with anyone else as he looked at you gently holding his wrist, your fingers resting on his pulse as the words burst out of his mouth “Do you do this for all of the boys you take care of?”

“No. I’ve never taken care of anyone like this before.” you replied softly and tenderly as you rinsed his arm. 

Nikolai’s jaw drops in shock and amazement because the realization that this was the first time you had done this for anyone hits him like a load of bricks. Suddenly all of this carries more weight of meaning and sweetness as he realizes that it has been a long time since anyone had cared enough to take care of him. 

You finish his left arm and move to begin on his right arm. You begin the same ritual over again and Nikolai realizes how soft and delicate your fingers were on his skin. Nikolai observes you lather and rinse his palm gently and feels breathless. He doesn’t understand why you are doing this. You were thoughtful and kind but also sarcastic and guarded so Nikolai was having a hard time comprehending why you were being so gentle and loving with him. 

Perhaps it was pity. You were full of pity for a boy king who was sick and couldn’t barely soap himself and take care of himself. He felt hurt and gutted at the thought of you offering to take care of him out of pity and sympathy. It felt cruel and painful. 

Nikolai looked at you, your lashes fanning your eyes that were full of concentration and gentleness as something darkly insecure lashed out within him as the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself “Why are you doing this?”

You didn’t stop the gentle strokes of the sponge but your gentle eyes met his hazel ones as he was staggered by how wonderfully kind they were as you replied lowly “Because I want to do this for you. I want to take care of you and let you have peace.”

Nikolai felt a lump form in his throat as he blinked back his tears that had sprung into his eyes all of a sudden. It had been so long since anyone had truly wanted to take care of him and had made an effort to take care of him. The expression of sincerity and honesty etched onto your face surprised him as he stayed quiet for a few moments as he tried to think of the last time someone had told him that they wanted to make him feel good. 

“I can do this by myself. You don’t have to - I’m not weak.” said Nikolai defensively, still disbelieving of the fact that you cared about him “You don’t need to take care of me. Everyone knows its a bother to do that.”

“It’s not rotten work taking care of you. I know you are strong and carry everyone but I can see it in your eyes. You take care of a thankless nation but who will ever look after and take care of you, Nikolai? I don’t know why but I like being the one to see you smile and take care of you.” you confessed softly and sincerely as you gazed at Nikolai intensely with gentleness etched on your face as you finished washing his arm and lowered it to the rim of the tub so he could hold onto it. “It’s okay to let someone take care of you.”

Nikolai was trying to play it cool but he was turning all shades of pink as his heart beat in happiness and disbelief as he looked at you quietly and whispered after a long moment “Y/N... I don’t want to be a burden to you. I don’t want people to worry about me. I - I need to do everything by myself so that I won’t be a nuisance.”

Your gentle touch made him shiver in delight and comfort as you looked at him, your gaze never drifting away from his eyes as he felt vulnerable and exposed as you tilted your head with curiosity “Why do you think you are a burden?”

“Aren’t I? Look at me, I can’t even do this one simple task by myself.” snapped Nikolai in frustration as he lowered his head in shame not wanting you to see the tears in his eyes “I feel so weak, I have to rely on you. I don’t want to depend on anyone because I - who am I if I can’t do anything by myself?”

“Human.” you answered sincerely and softly 

Nikolai let a huff of sardonic laughter as he shook his head “I am the King who is meant to unite Ravka and protect them. There is no room to be weak and human.”

“Your desire to help others is noble. But I doubt you will find much success unless you allow others to help you.” you said honestly and sincerely as you looked at Nikolai earnestly with quiet understanding and soft concern that made him breathless as he felt the warm water lap at him skin, your gentle fingers lightly touch his skin.

Nikolai dragged his gaze up at you and it struck him that this felt intimate, domestic and blissful. Nikolai feels open, exposed and vulnerable in a manner that he has never felt before with anyone and yet in this vulnerability, he feels a forged deep trust, intimate understanding and soft tenderness between the both of you that felt new and beautiful, inviting him to sink in and drown in it. This moment with you where you gently took care of him at his weakest felt like the beginning of building a home for the both of them out of the ruins of their broken hearts. 

“I understand that you are the King of Ravka and that comes with a great burden. But you are also a boy... Nikolai who likes to steal macaroons from the kitchen, who has the craziest, most wonderful ideas for inventions and will break the very ground you stand on to make people happy. As much as you hate it, you need to understand that your life... you require support, encouragement and love. People who care about your well being. People who will be there to stitch up your wounds and take care of you when you fall.” you stated calmly and sincerely, your eyes sparkling with honesty and wisdom beyond your years that stunned Nikolai who was speechless with surprise at the wise truth of your words as he contemplated on them quietly. 

Nikolai was silent as he looked at you unashamed as he drifted his gaze away from you, feeling warmth and vulnerability bloom in his chest as he realized that you were offering support and encouragement for him. Nikolai realized that you were not scared to be there for him, to look after him, stitch up his wounds and take care of him when he fell. The thought of you doing that made his chest swell in happiness and disbelief, wonder and warmth as his lips twitched into a small smile. 

Nikolai’s head and heart is floating with bliss at you taking care of him so tenderly. Nikolai takes this as an opportunity to really look at you. You are completely quiet in a companionable and comforting manner, the strokes of the sponge never lingering too long on one spot as you focus on the task at hand, never meeting Nikolai’s gaze.  You wear an expression of complete concentration and calmness that Nikolai does not feel. Nikolai had seen you laughing, smiling, crying and angry but he had never seen you this... calm. Your face is relaxed and soft, your eyes brimming with staggering tenderness and gentleness. Your hair falls messily over your shoulder, your eyelashes fanning over your eyes as your hands are lathered in water and soapy bubbles. 

Nikolai had seen you relaxed but never in such an intimately quiet way and never this up close and for this long. He knows you can feel his gaze burning you and fears that you will make a teasing remark that will make him blush from his cheeks to the tip of his toes but you are absolutely respectful, letting him contemplate on his thoughts silently. Your presence is genuinely soothing and comforting as he breathes in easily and stares at you unashamedly knowing that you won’t meet his gaze. 

Saints, in the candlelight, so close to you, Nikolai couldn’t breathe because you were so attractive. Attractive wasn’t the right word for you. You were indescribably divinely beautiful. Nikolai wasn’t a fool, in the short time you had been here, many men and women had found you attractive and flirted with you. Though Nikolai had been boiling with jealousy each time he saw someone flirt with you, he understood why they would be drawn to your easy smile, expressive eyes, the shape of your lips that he wanted to kiss. You had shown no interest in anyone and now heat rose in Nikolai’s neck at the realization that the girl who had shown no interest or response for flirtations was the one who was quietly and comfortingly taking care of him. 

Nikolai feels you move to clean his bicep and tip of his shoulder. He feels the sponge gently move toward the spot where he first got shot as he realizes that there were scars littered over him that weren’t exactly flattering on him. Nikolai feels his muscles tensing as he breathes uneasily remembering the sound of gunshots and shrieking screams, the blood and mud of the battlefield where he had lost so many of his comrades including Dominik. 

Somethings he couldn’t just speak about. 

You withdraw immediately when you feel Nikolai tense as you notice his expression of anxiety and Nikolai remains silent for a long moment. You don’t touch him unless he gives you permission once again and you can see something is bothering him. 

“Nik?” you whispered softly, in worry and anxiety as you looked at him. 

Nikolai looked at you who wasn’t his to lose as he saw concern glinting in your eyes as he finally murmured “My first bullet wound.” 

He traced the small scars on his bicep that the war had left on him as he averted his eyes away from you “Not very pretty, huh?”

“I like them. In fact, they might be the thing I like most about you.” you admitted softly and tenderly as you looked at him in quiet understanding. 

Nikolai raised his eyes to meet yours as he wore an expression of curiosity and inquisitiveness and you stated firmly and gently “Those scars, wounds show me that you are very loyal, kind and deeply brave... not at all cowardly. I like them because they are proof that you stood up for what’s right, fought the cruelty of the world and survived to tell the tale.”

Saints, Nikolai wanted to marry you. Nikolai had never felt this enormity of feeling, never felt such overwhelming tidal waves of emotions that engulfed him now as he felt breathless and speechless your sincerity and kindness. He searched for laughter or teasing in your expression but there was nothing except genuine honesty and truth as you looked at him with something that hadn’t been there in your eyes. Nikolai can’t help but warm up to the thought that now you were becoming a fixed and steady presence in his stormy life.

You were looking at him with utter softness and tenderness that you had never displayed with him before “Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes.” whispered Nikolai as he breathed in deeply and placed his faith and trust in you as he gave you permission “Be gentle.”

Nikolai feels overwhelming intimacy as you start wiping carefully over his shoulders, gently over his wound and scars, the collarbones and base of his neck, and the muscles of his spine. Your brushes are quick and efficient yet gentle and tender as you cleaned him. Your sponge brushes over his wound softly and tenderly with reverence and he swore his heart stopped beating. Nikolai couldn’t breathe as he felt you clean the spot where his wound was softly and gently. Nikolai closes his eyes and settles into drifting into his thoughts of a universe where this was a reality. Nikolai knows you don’t like him romantically. But he felt himself drift into dreams of where you and him were more than friends, where this domestic bliss was present every day and all he had was you. 

He wakes up to his name murmured and looks up to see you standing extending the sponge with soap as you say quietly “I’ll turn away.”

He takes the sponge with soap numbly wondering what you meant and as you turned away, his brain caught up to what you meant. Nikolai sees you completely silent as you face the wall and he finishes cleaning his face, his chest, and between his legs. 

After Nikolai is done cleaning himself, he calls your name huskily “Y/N...”

You turn around to face him and take the sponge and soap from him. Nikolai leans back on the tub and then closes his eyes as he dips into the warm water. Nikolai feels weightless, as if time does not have an effect in this place as he feels relieved and vulnerable at the same time. Finally, Nikolai sits upright, coming up to the surface but his eyes are still closed. He doesn’t want to open them yet. 

Nikolai hears you shuffle around for a few moments and drop something as you mutter an apology as you said dorkily “Sorry, sorry, dropped it.”

Nikolai doesn’t open his eyes but he can’t help smiling widely at your silliness and comfortable presence. Nikolai imagines you flailing and shuffling around, arranging the soaps and salts in an orderly manner and pink dust of embarrassment clouding your cheeks when you dropped whatever you dropped. Nikolai realizes that this is the happiest and comfortable he has felt in a long time. 

Nikolai feels goosebumps rise in his skin when he feels your fingers in his hair, the scent of apples of his hair soap drifting into his nose. Nikolai feels your fingertips firmly but gently running through his hair, your touch never lingering for too long as you lather the soap on his scalp. Nikolai lets out an involuntary moan of pleasure as your fingers thread through his hair skillfully and pulling at the knots tugging at them until they come lose. 

Nikolai feels himself turning all shades of red as heat creeps up his neck at the realization that he had moaned and melted at your touch of hands in his hair... but to justify it, you had very skillful hands. Nikolai doesn’t know what to say, all he feels is absolutely embarrassed as he tries to find an excuse but you ignore it as you assure him gently there is nothing to be embarrassed about as you ease some of the aching pressure and tense muscles in his face. 

Nikolai wonders what it would feel to have your hands in his hair as he kissed the little scar on your collarbone. Nikolai takes a sharp intake of breath as he realizes he is drifting into his wild fantasies of you but it’s hard not to when your gentle hands are skillfully tugging at his hair and running through them. Nikolai melts into your gentle and sweet touch, enjoying every moment of it. 

You let go of Nikolai for a moment as you fetch another bucket of warm water. Nikolai feels you gently tilting his head back as you scoop a cup of fresh warm water and pours it slowly over his head, rinsing the soap gently and slowly, your fingers threading softly and skillfully through his hair with each cup of water you poured over him. Nikolai feels your soft and gentle touch on his forehead, his hair, his ears, his neck and his face and if you notice him sigh and melt into your touch, leaning his head against your hand, you don’t say anything to him about it. 

Nikolai feels you cradle his head gently as you finally use the towel to dry his hair slowly and gently, getting the excess water out of his hair. Nikolai feels warm and happy, burdens and worries lifted off his shoulders as he feels light - hearted. Nikolai feels you finish drying his hair and return your attention to rubbing sweet and musky hair oil into his hair, smoothing it into his scalp. As you smooth the oil into his hair, Nikolai falls asleep, the water once warm now cool lapping at his skin. 

As sleep tugged Nikolai, Nikolai didn’t feel alone anymore. 

Nikolai heard you murmur his name as he drifted out of his sleep and realized you had finished as he heard you murmur “There you go.”

Nikolai’s heart hammered in his ribcage and threatened to burst out of his body when he felt you place a light kiss on top of his head. It was brief and quick but Nikolai was certain he had felt the gentle pressure of your lips on his damp hair as he froze in surprise and happiness.  

It feels too intimate, too raw, too good to be real. And yet, Nikolai was living this very real moment with you and he felt blessed. 

Nikolai turned to look at you as you handed him a fresh towel and a bathrobe and turned around. He looks at the towel feeling saddened that this intimate, blissful moment had ended. It had been nice to be taken care of for once. It had felt nice to be the one to sit back and enjoy being taken care of. He wanted to cherish this moment forever as he closed his eyes savoring this memory and then opened his eyes. It was time to leave. 

Nikolai lifted himself up, stepping out as he quickly scrubs himself dry and wrapped the bathrobe around himself. Nikolai takes a few steps and finds exhaustion taking over him as he nearly falls onto the floor again but once again, your arms catch him as he clings onto you. 

“I can do this on my own.” said Nikolai lazily and firmly as he looked at you with a commanding glint “I am the King, I order you to let go -”

“To hell with your orders.” you replied firmly as you held him tightly making him laugh in surprise and amusement at your defiance as he leans toward your warmth. Even though he feels vulnerable and small, he likes being held like this by you and feels safe and comfortable with you as he breathes in your inviting perfume that makes him feel that everything is perfect in the world. 

Nikolai sees his bed and immediately feels tired and content as he falls down onto his lovely bed dramatically with gladness. 

You try to hide your smile through an exasperated expression but you can’t help the smile that play on your lips as you reprimand Nikolai sternly “You can’t sleep in a wet towel.”

Nikolai drawls lazily, his eyes closed in satisfaction and sleepiness “I can do whatever I want. I am the King of Ravka.”

You roll your eyes fondly at him but go to retrieve his clothes while Nikolai drifts into a hazy sleep when he feels you tugging him from the bed you announce loudly and cheerfully “Up you get, Nikolai!”

Nikolai loves you. He really does. But he is tired and all he wants to do is sleep and you’re not letting him do that as he replied annoyed “What for?”

“To get dressed. You will catch a worse cold if you sleep in a wet towel.” you replied in a matter - of - fact voice as you tried to tug him out of bed but the King of Ravka was a stubborn child who clung onto the bedsheets as he complained. 

“No... no... let me sleep.”

“Come on, we don’t have time for this. Out of bed and into warm clothes.” you said in a matter - of - fact voice as you grinned while pulling a sulky, childish, petulant Nikolai who was protesting and Nikolai groaned when he felt you smack him on the floor. 

Nikolai feels the coolness of the carpeted floor and is tempted to lie down there just to spite you because how dare you defy the King of Ravka like this? But a part of him enjoyed it, your defiance and careless attitude intrigued and amused him though at the moment it had him slightly annoyed and irritated. 

You lifted him up from the floor as you both groaned as you exclaimed “Here, get dressed.”

Nikolai’s lips twitched into a playful smile as his eyes twinkled in teasing “That’s so close to the perfect sentence.”

You blushed as you tossed him his night clothes and he grinned at being the reason for the pink dust scattering across your cheeks as you turned around shyly. Nikolai gets dressed, his thoughts slow and unfocused, muffled and distant as he realizes that you had handed him a loose, comfortable blue nightshirt, one of his favorites. Nikolai fiddles with the buttons, his hands shaking weakly and as if you sense it, you turn around, your eyes seeking for permission. Nikolai nods he watched in enchantment at how your fingers work the buttons and undemandingly and gently tucks his collar and smooths the fabric, her fingertips lightly brushing over his skin. 

This is a glimpse into the life Nikolai wanted to share with you. This feeling of being this close, tender and real with you that he wanted to last forever. This moment felt soft and sweet, untouched by the cruelty and sadness of the world where it was just the two of them and nothing else mattered. Nikolai’s eyes glint with tenderness and longing for you as he sees his future mapped out with you, where he comes home to you and feels that tonight has created a stronger bond between them that they couldn’t describe. 

How could he ever fall in love with anyone else?

Your soft eyes meet his tender hazel eyes and you blush as your fingertips drop from his shirt. Nikolai wonders whether you feel this indescribable and sacred bond he feels with you too. Nikolai drops and sinks into the mattress with a happy sigh, the luxurious sheets and pillows fresh and new. Nikolai feels peaceful and calm for the first time in a long time and realizes that he tastes soothing peace of mind whenever he is with you. Nikolai’s eyes flutter as he feels you drape blankets over him making him feel safe and secure. 

Nikolai opens his eyes as he feels you set a tray of hot and warm food before him. As he eats it, he sets his eyes to observe you and for the first time in the evening he sees that your clothes are drenched wet. Rivulets of water run down your arms and the wet fabric clings onto your body that Nikolai is shamelessly appreciating while sinking in and out of consciousness. Nikolai feels at peace as he watches you pick up the used towels and his clothes. Nikolai feels a strange sense of calm wash him as he watches you tidy the mess of his room quietly and calmly, the wet fabric clinging onto your skin, your eyes alit with firm purpose and conviction and your movements precise and careful not to awake and startle Nikolai. After finishing eating, Nikolai inquires about you eating. You smile and reassure Nikolai that you’ll eat after clearing up the mess.. 

Nikolai briefly wonders whether you are going to bath as well as you duck out of the room as he sinks into the drowsy unconsciousness. He breathes in as he drifts in and out of sleep and finally after what seems like a long amount of time, he hears a click of the door and flutters open his eyes to see you quietly come in, your hair damp and your skin fresh and smooth, dressed in a beautiful green nightdress. 

Nikolai watches you arrange blankets and pillows on his sofa as he blinks drowsily, his eyes lidded heavily with sleep as he drawls “What on earth are you doing?”

You are startled and surprised at the sound of Nikolai’s drowsy voice because you thought he was sleeping as you met his curious gaze and stood up “Well... there isn’t really any space on the bed and I’ve heard you are a notorious snorer -”

But you are cut off as Nikolai drags you down to his bed as you land on the sheets in an ungraceful heap squawking inelegantly and Nikolai smiles fondly at you making room for you “You’re sleeping here. With me.”

Nikolai can feel your weight settling down onto the mattress as you pull up the covers over the both of you. Nikolai feels warm, clean, happy and content, taken care of as he sinks into the mattress blissfully. 

Nikolai felt breathless as he glanced over at you lying by his side, your beautiful hair a disheveled mess on his pillow, your eyes gleaming with quiet drowsiness as you met his gaze and he turned a bright shade of pink hoping that you couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating because this was a dream come true. He had to control himself from shrieking happily when your hand brushed against his softly and tentatively and it took all of his courage as he met your eyes seeking permission and when you smiled softly, his fingers intertwined with yours, the warmth and gentleness of your hand seeping into his reassuring him that everything would be alright. 

“This is nice.” murmured Nikolai in content and dreamy haze as he looked into your eyes with tenderness and sincerity as he felt breathless by how beautiful and wonderful you were. 

You smiled softly and widely at him as you shifted to his side a little squeezing his hand gently as he looked at you with an expression of gratitude, adoration and wonder as he brushed a gentle and fleeting kiss on your knuckles, delighted when your eyes widened in surprise and your cheeks blushed a rosy pink as he confessed “No one has ever taken care of me like this. Thank you.”

“Always.” you murmured as you smiled affectionately and sincerely at Nikolai who didn’t need to say anything, as they held hands in the meaningful silence, you both felt enough. 

As sleep overtook Nikolai, he drawled looking over at you “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“No one can take me away from you.” you whispered softly and gently as you stroked his hair gently as he leaned into your hand with a happy and comfortable sigh, his eyes closing as he held your hand in his.  

As Nikolai fell into a deep slumber, you watched him breathe in and out peacefully. You stare at his divinely beautiful face etched with peace and content that was a luxury to him when he was the King of Ravka. In this low light of flickering candles, he looks more like a boy who wants to be loved than a King who is to be revered. You listen to his deep breathing as you stare at him with a soft smile playing on your lips, your soul feeling strangely content and happy as you traced soft patterns on the skin of his hand that held yours tightly. Nikolai looks boyish and soft, vulnerable and peaceful in this light and you feel your heart tighten in wonder that you are the one who gets to see him like this. 

Earlier, you knew that Nikolai had been watching you keenly. He might be the King of Ravka but he wasn’t the King of being subtle. You had averted your eyes away from him, not wanting to disrespect him and take advantage of his vulnerability as you focused on the task of helping him. You weren’t lying earlier when you told Nikolai that this was the first time you’ve ever cleaned someone like this. When you were with Kaz, you had simply left him, giving him privacy to clean himself. You were going to do the same with Nikolai but for some reason, you found yourself rooted in the spot and reaching out to take care of Nikolai because you couldn’t let him shoulder everything alone. It didn’t seem right to just leave him alone. Your heart had been beating wildly as you had averted your eyes from his well - built and handsome body that had made heat creep up your neck as you focused on your task of cleaning his soft skin that made you feel slightly breathless. 

You had felt his surprise at the fact that you had volunteered to take care of him. You couldn’t help thinking now... did he have no one to take care of him? Was there no one to care for him?

Had he truly been so alone?

Now you take the opportunity to properly look at Nikolai. His hair is damp and curly, his skin is fresh and clean.. Nikolai was your friend, in a steady and confusing manner. You convince yourself that tonight was purely platonic. You did this to help him, to take care of him because he is your friend and you hate seeing him suffer and alone. And yet, your heart beats and your breath catches as you look at Nikolai and remember how he stared at your reverently in adoration and amazement as you tended to him. 

At that moment, Nikolai sighs in his sleep as he mutters something indecipherable and yet amusing to you as you stare at him fondly and smooth his hair gently. You are aware that this is such an intimate and sacred moment where you are witness to every sigh, every word, every movement, every expression he makes. Tonight had bloomed something different in the way you looked at him, a tenderness, a gentleness and a wonder as you realized that Nikolai was a storm that you were now trying to navigate as you inhaled a sharp breath understanding that he had let his guard down and exposed his vulnerability to you and you had done the same. 

You found yourself torn between throwing yourself out of the window and squealing into your pillow as you blushed. 

You were lying next to Nikolai Lantsov. This was not on your bingo card. In fact, this was not on anyone’s bingo card!

You couldn’t exactly understand why you felt so protective of Nikolai and cherished the time you spent with him. You didn’t understand why the thought of Nikolai’s future wife sleeping next to him, seeing him up close and personal like this, sharing tender and intimate moments with him in secrecy and privacy of their own world made you want to burn down something. You didn’t understand why you wanted to wrap Nikolai in a hug and assure him that he wasn’t a burden, he was a privilege. 

Maybe it was because you were friends. Yes... that’s exactly it. You were just friends. That’s all you were. 

Your eyes flutter shut as Nikolai mumbles in his sleep again, his lips twitching and your lips curve into an adoring smile as you adjust his blanket and stare at him. You do one last thing for him and your eyes flutter as you treasure the intimacy and beauty of this sacred moment that you share with him as you fall asleep by his side. 

Nikolai was back in the battlefield as he fought to survive the Fjerdan bullets, terrified screams and gunshots ringing in his ears as he struggled to march on. Mud and grime covered him as he stood by Dominik, both of them bleeding and bruised as they shot down the Fjerdans, protecting each other and their comrades. It was wild and untethered, cruel and merciless and Nikolai remembered the promise to Dominik when they had started in the army. It was with him that Nikolai served, with him Nikolai promised to fall down. But as Nikolai failed to fall down as he watched Dominik fall down, as he breathed in and out, his blood on Nikolai’s hands that tried to stop Death from taking away his friend as he sobbed and screamed wildly, unhinged begging for anyone to help, begging Dominik not to leave him. 

Tears slipped down his eyes and all he could do was scream in fury and pain in a war that took away his best friend when he heard an urgent, gentle and reassuring voice that called out his name. 

Nikolai! You got to wake up! 

Nikolai screamed and the voice answered back as he felt it wrapping around him and dragging him through the depths of unconsciousness as he woke up alarmed and startled, tears rolling down his cheeks and beads of sweat on his brow to see your concerned and worried face hovering above him, your hands pressing gently onto his cheeks as your eyes glinted with anxiety and worry.   

He blinked once and then blinked twice as he stared wide eyed at your beautiful face etched with complete concern and alarm as he was startled, breathing heavily and panting in worry, flashes of his nightmare still haunting him as he clutched onto the sheets frantically. 

You were right by his side, your eyes full of concern and gentleness as your hands cupped his cheeks and he breathed in and out, his heart beating wildly as he buried his head into your chest as you wrapped him in a warm hug that exuded safety and affection. 

He still couldn’t believe this was real as he held onto you, tears rolling down his cheeks as he breathed in and out heavily, the flashes of Dominik’s breath leaving him haunting him as he felt you place a soft kiss on top of his head as you murmured soft and comforting words “It’s alright. It’s alright, I’ve got you. You’re safe with me, nothing and no one is going to hurt you.”

A sob escaped his body as your name slipped through his lips “Y/N...”

“It wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. This is real. I am real.” you reassured him sincerely and honestly, your heart beating wildly in fear because you had woken up to a screaming Nikolai thrashing wildly around as sobs escaped him. You had never seen him so wild, so startled and unleashed in pain and suffering as you had woken him up from his nightmare with great effort. “Listen to my heartbeat. This is real.”

Silent tears escaped Nikolai as his breathing and beating heart eventually and gradually calmed down after a long eternity as he listened to the steady beating of your heart, a sweet melody, a soothing lullaby and a saving prayer. He doesn’t know how long both of you stay like this together in the darkness of the night, him with his head on your chest listening to your living, beautiful, wonderful heartbeat as he held onto you tightly afraid of the monsters in the dark, his breathing gradually lulling into normal and tears coming to an end as you held him tightly and warmly in your embrace, murmuring soothing words of comfort and reassurance. 

After what seems like an eternity, Nikolai raises his head to meet your quiet and steady gaze that exudes safety and warmth, blazing fiercely like a fire driving away the darkness. Nikolai suddenly realizes the enormity of what happened in front of you as he understands that he cried and screamed in fright and fear like a child in nightmares. 

He withdraws from you with an apology and shame in his face but you take his hands in his as you wear an expression etched with acceptance and understanding as you said lightly “Nightmares? Do you have them often?”

Nikolai nodded, unable to speak yet as he looked at you and saw the same understanding of the pain in your eyes “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nikolai shook his head dumbly and you knew you had to distract Nikolai from his thoughts of the nightmares as you jumped down from the bed and extended your hand to him with a quietly mischievous look in your eyes “Come on you! Let’s go see the stars.”

Nikolai’s eyes were alit with curiosity as he took your hand and you led him to his window, both of you taking a seat at the window seat where you could see the starry sky from the glassy pane. It was a beautiful night with a clear sky dotted with glittering stars patterned into beautiful and mysterious constellations. It was the kind of breathtaking night that made you glad to be alive. 

Nikolai was quiet for a long time and you realized that he wasn’t going to talk to you at all. It wouldn’t bother you generally and you would leave anyone alone but for some reason, you wanted Nikolai to at least have a small conversation with you instead of bottling all of his emotions up and bearing it on his own.

As you sat in silence with the boy who was haunted by the nightmares, you remembered one of your favorite stories from your favorite author, Ko Moon Young, a beautiful, intelligent and infamous literary children’s author in Shu Han who had the penchant for darkly crafting beautiful stories. You had read this story many times, in the library and in the Slat with your tattered copy soothing and comforting you after your horrible and terrifying nightmares and you had even once read out the story to Kaz who had suffered from terrible nightmares. 

You could remember every word of the story by heart. That’s how much you loved it. 

“The boy woke up from another terrible nightmare.  Bad memories from the past he wanted to erase from his head were replayed in his dreams every night and haunted him nonstop.” you began softly and soothingly as you looked at Nikolai who had been gazing at the stars but as you began to speak, his attention was on you with curiosity sparkling in his hazel eyes as the words that you loved and knew by heart slipped from your mouth “The boy was terrified of falling asleep so one day he went to find a witch and begged “Please get rid of all my bad memories so that I won’t ever have a bad nightmare again. Then I will do everything you ask.””

You saw Nikolai shift up straight as his hazel eyes stirred in curiosity and interest as he looked at you in anticipation as your lips curved into a small smile, the moonlight spilling around both of you as you continued in an entrancing voice “Years went by and the boy became an adult. He no longer had nightmares. But for some strange reason, he wasn’t happy at all.” 

“One night, a blood moon filled the sky, and the witch showed up again to take what he had promised in return for granting his wish. And he shouted at her with so much resentment “All my bad memories are gone. But why can’t I become happy?”” you continued in a soft and enchanting voice that held Nikolai’s rapt and intense attention as he wore an expression of intrigue, interest and unbridled curiosity and you paused for a moment as Nikolai leaned forward in anticipation wanting to know the answer, eager to know how the story ended. 

“Then the witch took his soul as promised and told him this “Hurtful, painful memories, memories of deep regrets, memories of hurting others and being hurt, memories of being abandoned... only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become stronger, passionate and emotionally flexible. And only those can attain happiness.” you answered in a intriguing voice as you looked at Nikolai whose eyes were eager, hungry and curious for the answer and as he listened to the story, his eyes became misty, full of thoughtfulness and surprise as he stared at you in wide eyed in wonder. 

“So don’t forget any of it. Remember it and overcome it. If you don’t overcome it, you will always be the kid whose soul never grows old.” you finished quietly and calmly with affection and love for the story as your eyes never left Nikolai who was blinking back tears as his breath caught in his throat and his lips twitched into a small smile for the first time since he woke up. 

Nikolai cocked his head in curiosity “That’s a sad yet surprisingly inspiring and heartwarming bedtime story. Who told you that?”

“Ko Moon Young. She’s my favorite author.” you admitted with a small smile as you looked at Nikolai with affection and kindness “The story is called ‘The Boy Who Fed on Nightmares’. I read it all the time when I have nightmares.”

“I like it.” confessed Nikolai honestly as he flashed a genuine smile at you making up his mind to research this author and read more of her books. “Thank you. Surprisingly, I needed to hear that story.”

You nodded with a small smile as you looked out of the glassy pane at the universe that extended out there when Nikolai’s voice disturbed your reverie “He would have been best friends with you.”

You cocked your head as you looked inquisitively and curiously at Nikolai wondering what he was talking about when he smiled warily and sincerely at you “Dominik. My best friend since childhood. We did everything together, thick as thieves. He sacrificed himself taking the bullet meant for me in the war because he believed I was the King that Ravka deserved.”

You were tongue tied and speechless as you remembered Nikolai screaming the very same name in his nightmare while you tried to wake him up. You realized that Nikolai had suffered deep loss and felt tragedy in his life. You knew Nikolai had bravely fought and bled in the war for Ravka but you didn’t know and understand the impact it had on him, the cruelty of it all, the comrades and best friend it had snatched away from Nikolai in the trenches and the tears shed and tragedy of it all. You saw that Dominik was someone who meant a great deal to Nikolai, someone who had faith in Nikolai and cared for Nikolai. You understood from taking one look at Nikolai that Dominik was someone extraordinary and important to Nikolai, someone who Nikolai didn’t want to lose and cared for deeply. You felt your heart break for Nikolai because you understood the pain and grief of losing a brother, someone you loved deeply, someone you wanted to stand by with you forever. The world has been cruel to the both of you by snatching away the two people you loved the most but you felt Nikolai’s grief and loss because you understood the feeling of having someone important to you sacrifice their life for yours. 

Nikolai looked at you with unshed tears in his hazel eyes, looking so beautiful and vulnerable in the moonlight “It’s him I have nightmares of often. I can’t save him even in my dreams. I wish it was me that had taken the bullet instead.”

You want to stop him from saying that awful thing because you can’t bear the thought of him dead but Nikolai is lost in his self - loathing and doubt “Dominik was a good man. The best man I ever knew. And he sacrificed himself for me. I wish he hadn’t. I wish all of them hadn’t died for me.”

“I understand.” you said softly and sincerely, your fragile heart full of sincere understanding and acceptance for him as you looked at the boy who had touched your broken soul in an unexpected manner “I wish I didn’t... but I do.”

Nikolai felt his heart bloom full of love and warmth for you as he felt nothing but gratitude for your comforting and uncommonly kind presence that soothed him as he smiled lovingly at you as both of you stared at the night sky and Nikolai realized that he had shown you where everyone had given him scars and you had accepted and understood him. 

Nikolai sighed as he wiped away his tears in remembrance and reminiscence of his hopeful and brave friend “He was brave until the very end.”

You wore an expression of thoughtfulness “They’re always brave.”

“I wish he wasn’t. I wish for once... he had taken the coward’s way out and let me take the bullet.”

“Do you know why we both survived, Nikolai? You survived because of Dominik and I survived because of my brother. It was because of them. Because in spite of their fear, they refused to step aside. Because their love for us was stronger than anything else in this world. Because they loved us more than their own lives and believed in us.” you said passionately and thoughtfully with sincerity after a long moment of silence as you looked at Nikolai who was stunned and surprised, full of disbelief and shock. 

“They broke our hearts but they loved us so much. And as much as it hurts, we need to be brave and kind and live our lives in a way that they would be proud of us. Otherwise, they died for nothing. Otherwise, we insult their memory. If we regret their actions and waste our lives, their sacrifice will be forever meaningless.” you said softly and quietly, your voice barely a whisper but it echoed loudly around Nikolai who was speechless and tongue tied as he processed the truth that you spoke with sincerity and honesty as you blinked back tears of grief and pain. “So we grieve, mourn but must live on and honor them.”

Nikolai was speechless as he processed your honest and wise words as he looked at you wide eyed in wonder and shock, wondering whether all along there had been an invisible string tying you to him, tethering both of your fates together as the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself “I wish I had met you earlier.”

Your eyes widened in pleasant surprise as you let out an involuntary chuckle “What? Why? How would that even happen?”

Nikolai looked at you with a warm and wistful gleam in his hazel eyes “I don’t know. I imagine that instead of staying in Ketterdam, your family made it to Ravka. Your brother and you grew up together. Both of you would enlist for the Ravkan army. Maybe you’d be a medik... or perhaps a soldier in the trenches. You’d be a soldier with different medals of honor, a soldier who everyone has heard of for your bravery. And then one day Dominik and I meet you and your brother. And then the rest is history.”

You found yourself grinning at the story that was nice to ponder over as you looked at him in amusement “That’s a nice story. But our lives are so different... I only wished I could have met Dominik. He sounds like a great, kind - hearted person.”

“Dominik was one of the best people I knew. And I wish you could have met him too. I know that both of you would get along famously. Both of you are thoughtful, brave, kind - hearted.” said Nikolai sincerely and softly as he gazed in wonder and enchantment at how ethereal and divine you looked in the moonlight and bit his lip “I wish I could have met your brother. He sounds very different from mine.”

You smiled softly, grief and love bubbling in your heart as you looked at Nikolai with a reminiscent and wistful look “Not only was he enormously clever, he was also uncommonly kind and had a certain talent for mischief and laughter. I think you would have given my brother a run for his money... and that is saying something.”

Nikolai felt warm as an involuntary smile curved on his lips at those sacred words that meant the world to him as his eyes twinkled “I’m glad. It’s just... sometimes it’s lonely. I miss Dominik. The nightmares just remind me... that I should haven’t worried so much about the war. I should have asked him questions, I should have talked to him more and spent more time with him because every scrap of him would be taken from me. Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I still think he was still around.”

“I feel the same. My brother loved the amber skies and long walks but I used to be annoyed when he tickled me and played his pranks on me. I should have asked him how to be because all he left to me was his unfulfilled dreams.” you said honestly and sincerely, confessing the truths you kept hidden in your heart as you looked at Nikolai vulnerably and softly, remembering your brother who was easy to descend into laughter and full of kindness and light. “But now, after all this time, I know though he is dead, he didn’t stay dead. He’s alive in my head. I feel him all around, in the sad melody of a guitar, in the beauty of the sun set, in the stars, in scheming pranks with the Crows, a bright smile and in everything really. It’s hard to explain but it feels as if he never left.”

Nikolai was silent for a long moment because he understood the depth and magnitude of your emotions and was stunned that he had found another soul who felt the same as he did and who he could confide in easily and didn’t feel alone with. They stayed like that for a long moment in silence filled with meaningful and easy companionship and understanding with no need to fill it with meaningless chatter and small talk, glad to have each other to trust and understand their deepest fears and vulnerabilities. 

Nikolai looked at you who were hugging your knees tightly as you stared in fascination and wonder at the stars as his lips curved into an adoring smile as he finally broke the silence “Do you have nightmares?”

Your expression was enough of an answer and Nikolai was curious “How do you cope?”

“I used to drink until I forgot. But now I read and on nights where I have really bad ones, I lose myself in memories. Well... a memory. It’s not a happy memory, exactly. Well, it is happy... but it’s strange and complicated.” you answered sincerely after a long moment of silence, your expression one of reminiscence and wistfulness 

Nikolai was filled with fascination and curiosity as he leaned forward, his hazel eyes gleaming in unbridled affection and softness “What is it?”

“I think of him. I remember his bright face. He is holding me in his arms and talking to me. Just talking, hugging and laughing back at home before we came to Ketterdam.” you said softly and wistfully as you remembered one of the long - lost memories that you would lose yourself in of your brother who was always smiling brightly, his eyes full of mischief and kindness as he showered you with affection and warmth making you feel so loved and happy. 

Nikolai’s eyes widened slightly in soft understanding and empathy as he looked at your expression of hidden grief and painful reminiscence that longed to go back to a time where everything was sweet and innocent as you smiled at him bravely, and his heart tugged with sadness and understanding for you as he reached out for you and squeezed your hand gently wanting you to know that he was there for you. 

You squeezed his hand in return gratefully as you met his hazel eyes burning with affection and adoration as you smiled softly and sincerely at him surprised and glad that he of all people understood you better than anyone else. 

You looked at him with wonder and affection, fondness and warmth blooming in your heart for him as you whispered “You’re a true friend, Nikolai. I’m so glad I met you.”

Nikolai felt a twinge of hurt in his heart at only being thought of as a friend but knew deep down that you needed time to heal and move on from the demons that haunted your head as he felt happy that you thought of him as someone true you could trust, his heart fluttering in happiness at your words hoping one day he would be more than a friend to you “I’ll always be by your side, Y/N. No one can take me away from you.”

You smiled as you blushed, red dust scattering on your cheeks at how intensely and adoringly Nikolai was gazing upon you as he once again spoke, his voice full of concern “Y/N... I don’t want to lose you. So I want you to promise me that no matter what, if we’re in a dangerous situation and I’m - well, I’m - you won’t put yourself in danger for me. Promise me that you will think of yourself first and run away without caring about my fate. Don’t be brave.”

Your eyes had widened in shock because you had not expected such a confession out of Nikolai but the thought of leaving him in danger where he could be hurt and tortured, bleeding and bruised or worse snatched by cold cruel hands of death made you feel as you were pummeling down an abyss of disbelieving darkness as you shook your head immediately and firmly “No. I don’t think I can promise you that because I can never leave you in danger to fend for yourself, Nikolai.”

Nikolai felt too much all of a sudden, too hot as he felt your warm eyes full of beautiful fondness, complete concern and overwhelming protectiveness take his breath away as he felt time cease and stop surprised at how much you cared for him as he breathed “Look, I want you safe, alive and unharmed and I’m trying to do that.”

“Why?” you retorted back fiercely and quickly as you glared at him, your hand holding onto his tightly and Nikolai was taken aback in shock at your quick response as he found words failing him as you continued passionately and sincerely “Nobody is ever safe, not ever.”

Nikolai blew an exasperated breath as he realized you were stubborn, unwavering, fierce and loyal, qualities he loved about you but they were the same ones that got Dominik killed in the first place and he would not lose the love of his life “Look, I’m trying to take care of you and protect you because I don’t want to lose you.”

“But I never asked you for that.” you replied softly, your eyes softening with understanding and amazement at the depth of how much Nikolai cared for you and you felt like you didn’t deserve to be cared about so much. 

Nikolai’s eyes softened in exasperation and sincerity as he replied softly and earnestly “You shouldn’t have to ask.”

You felt such an enormous amount of intense emotions that you couldn’t begin to describe that it terrified and exhilarated you as you stared into Nikolai’s frightened and sincere eyes as you placed your hand on his cheek gently and confessed “I can’t promise you what you want me to. But I can only promise you that I will be by your side until the end and we will fight our way out of anything the world throws at together.”

Nikolai was breathless at the overwhelming devotion and sincerity burning in your eyes as he closed his eyes cherishing this moment and opened them as he looked at you with earnestness and adoration “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, you silly boy. I’m not going anywhere.” you replied with a bright smile as your eyes twinkled in mischief and amusement as you placed a brief and light kiss on his cheek, unaware that Nikolai had gone into cardiac arrest at your lightest touch. 

Nikolai grinned loopily as he looked at you feeling incredibly happy and over the moon. As you talked, laughed and played chess, finally Nikolai and you both grew drowsy and sleepy enough to go back to bed. As you both sank into bed, your hands found each other as they intertwined with each other, warmth and reassurance seeping through. Nikolai glanced at you who was worn out and exhausted, resting next to him, your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed in and out peacefully lost in a sea of dreams and he smiled in content and happiness. This was blissful and beautiful Paradise that Nikolai wanted to last forever. 

 As Nikolai felt his drowsiness take over him, he realized something was different about him. He puzzled his head over what it could be and he sat up feeling warmth in his feet that were cold earlier when he had gone to bed. Nikolai pulled up the blanket to see blue socks with silly faces on his feet that he definitely had not put on before sleeping. Nikolai looked at the socks that warmed his cold feet and realized as he looked over at your peaceful sleeping visage that it was you that had cared enough to warm up his cold feet by putting thick warm socks on. Nikolai suddenly felt an odd sensation of warmth and surprise bloom in his chest as he blushed in shy happiness at the thought of you caring so much that you would do something so thoughtful and kind to take care of him and make him feel more comfortable and at ease. 

Saints, Nikolai wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He knew in his heart you were the only one for him.

As Nikolai brushed a stray hair from your forehead as he stared at your peaceful, sleeping face, he sent a quiet prayer of gratitude to the Saints thanking them for creating such a beautiful, kind hearted, brave creature with the courage of stars and a heart of love and sending you into his life that had been changed forever. 

Nikolai pulled up the blanket to ensure you were warm and cozy and brushed a fleeting kiss on your forehead bidding you goodnight as he sank into the pillows, his eyes never leaving you because he was certain with all his heart you were the one he wanted to spend all his starry nights with and wake up to watch the dawn of a new day. 

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Once Upon a Time 3

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Andy Barber

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You can’t wait for your two days off. It’s rare that you get two in a row. Your plans are minimal, there’s a country store you like to wander around and the market is open on Saturdays. That liberation that comes with the end of your shift hits and you nearly dance across the store as you issue goodbyes with a chirp.

As you come to the front of the store, you stop short of the center aisle. A familiar voice has you ducking behind the accessories stand, listening with perked ears for your chance to escape. Andy. Again. It’s been two weeks since you made the mistake of being helpful and he’s taken to daily visits in the last few days.

You hear him ask for you. Your coworker apologetically tells him you just left. Thankfully she doesn’t realise how long it took you to do just that.

He accepts the answer with that same disappointment that tinges his tones when you’re drawn to another customer. You peek around as he wanders off listlessly towards the back section of the store. You notice how he seems to veer towards the employee lounge.

You skirt out, refusing to look at your coworker so they can’t flag you down. You push out into the crisp air and heave. You didn’t notice how suffocating the store was becoming. Especially lately.

You don’t want to let the close shave get in the way of your excitement. You’re going to start these two days off right. You stroll around the plaza to the cafe and join the bustling queue inside. The caramel mocha draws your attention as you wait, intent on try the new flavour.

When it’s your turn, you order and move aside to await your prize. You claim your cup and look around. Hm, there’s a small table left in the corner. You weave around and plant your drink on the table for two. You walk by the cafe all the time but you’ve never sat down to enjoy a coffee. You usually just get a medium roast before you clock in.

You settle in and take your book out of your bag. You crack it open to your mark and resume the chapter you’d left undone that morning. You sink into the paragraphs, stopping only to taste the sweet mocha treat. 

The ambience of the cafe is buzzing. Voices dip in and out as people mill in and out steadily. You feel wholly invisible amid the rush of patrons. You kind of like the feeling.

You keep your head down as you read, cradling your chin as you get to the last page of the chapter. You sense a shadow looming, someone looking for a place to sit among the cramped seating area. You shrink down as you focus on the pages before you.

You feel a bump on the table and look up as your mocha sloshes over the edge of your lidless cup. You barely move your book out of the way of the spill. As you peer up at the culprit, you barely repress a cringe. Not him. Please, why would the universe do this to you?

“Oh, excuse me–” He smiles. He has nice eyes even if the rest of him annoys you. “I am just looking for somewhere to sit. I didn’t mean to bump into you.” He holds a steaming cup, “I’m happy I did, though.”

“Uh, yeah, well, pretty packed in here,” you say and use a single napkin to soak up the droplets on the table.

“Hm, yeah, popular place,” he comments, “looks like I just missed you at the shop.”

“Mmhmm, I opened,” you say as you crumple up the napkin. You don’t know what to do, he’s not really getting the vibe. The very clear tension that says I’m alone and not looking for company.

“Early morning,” he chuckles and looks around, emphasizing the act and he hums at the lack of seating.

You sigh. You should just leave but you were there first. And you’re almost done your chapter. You’ve barely even had a few sips of your drink too.

“Well, there’s… a chair here, I guess,” you say dully.

“Really? Oh, I don’t want to intrude–”

“I’m just reading,” you reopen your book and put it back on the table, “but you can sit if you want.”

“Thanks,” he eagerly pulls out the chair and sits, his cup meeting the table so hard that it shakes. “Yeah, I got a new book myself.” He unhooks the paper bag on his wrist as he puts it beside his coffee, “I’m really eating up these regency ones.”

“Ah,” you nod and pull your book to lean on the edge of the table, making a point of looking rapt.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll shut up,” he laughs at himself.

You do your best to ignore his jostling. He takes a slurp of coffee then opens the paper bag with a loud crinkle. Somehow he is more disruptive than the dozen other noises overlapping. He slides out the book and you peek up at his hands as he opens it, breaking the spine first. You tend to be a bit more affectionate with your books.

You reach up without looking and take your cup. You drink, eyes glued to the words. You’re getting irritated. You really can’t get back into the story with him just sitting there. You’re under no obligation to be nice here. This is your personal time.

The more you think, the more annoyed you are. He’s no longer adding to your work, he’s ruining your free time. You take a breath and mark your page.

“Ah, you know what,” you say as you check your phone, “I gotta…” you pause as you raise your head to find him watching you. You’re not sure he only just started that, “I gotta head out actually. I’m going to miss the train.”

“Train? Oh, well, if you need a ride–” he offers.

You do your best not to be too abrupt in your rejection, “that’s fine. No, really, that’s too much.”

You stand and pack up your book in your bag. You shrug on your jacket and sling your knapsack over one shoulder as you grab your drink.

“See ya,” you say as he watches you with a stitch in his forehead.

“Yeah, see ya,” he utters, “you work tomorrow?”

You swallow as you weigh your options. You smile and tap a finger against the side of the cup, “uh, yeah, I start at noon.”

“Great, I’ll see ya then,” he brightens up.

“Okay,” you hold back a scoff, “er, bye.”

You hurry past the table, brushing against his arm in the tight space, and go to the stand to grab a lid for your cup. You snap it on and beeline for the door, slipping out behind another customer. You pass the window and glance over as you do. 

He’s watching you. Again. He waves as your eyes meet. You blanch and you flutter your fingers vaguely. You quickly cross the lot to the far end, well out of his view. This is getting strange.

[silverryu25]

day 5; constellation of stars

“Have you forgotten how it all ended last time?”

;3 💖💖💖💖

Ohhhh yes~ >:3

Some nice star time for our favourite skele. Hope you enjoy it Kiran!! X3

DAY 5 - Constellation or stars + “Have you forgotten how it all ended last time?”

Tags: suggestive ending

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Stars, the one thing that had always drawn him like a moth to a flame.

A big part of his life was spent daydreaming about the possibility of ever even catching a glimpse of the real stars as he played around with the star-like gems in the caves of Waterfall. The gems were beautiful in their own way, but they couldn’t even be called a pale imitation of the real thing. The first time he saw the night sky as the sun set right after they finally stepped on the surface he felt his soul leap in pure wonder.

It was a sight he never could have imagine.

A sight that he never believed he would live to see.

Yet there he was, eyelights gazing at an endless expanse of the Milky Way. Millions upon billions of stars sparkling so much more beautifully then any Waterfall gem ever could.

It was a sight that he would never forget.

It was the second brightest day in his life. The first one being the moment Papyrus was born.

He thought it would remain that way forever, that nothing could ever outshine the beauty and magnificence of the uncountable constellations and stars his very soul sang to him about in his dreams.

Yet, somehow, he was wrong.

Because here he was, sitting below the clear night sky. No clouds, moon or city lights to obscure the majesty of everything the naked eye could see for millions and billions miles in every direcion he turned. But instead of feeling his soul pound in joy and excitement at the vastness above him, his gaze was transfixed besides him. 

At a fellow skeleton monster that somehow took up presence inside his whole soul.

Sans’ white eyelights shone with a soft glow as his soul beat faster every time Red’s eyelights sparkled as he identified another constellation.

They had planned this trip for months, ever since Red’s people came to the surface. They had a hard time integrating in the peaceful world that awaited them outside of their underground so they needed a lot of help.

It was unanimously decided by the two monster kings that every monster would live with their counterpart until they found their footing and could start life on their own. But somehow, instead of leaving when he got a good and stable job, Red stayed with Sans and slowly, their relationship deepend.

It took a long time for them to actually confess to each other. A drunken pun fight led to something more and ended up with them confessing before their brains really caught up with what they were even saying. After that, well let’s just say things turned steamy and puns went down south real fast~.

It’s been months since then. They were both busy with work and helping out with ambassador activities that their brothers organized for both Frisks. Finally, after months of planning and postponing, they got away together for a fun stargazing camping trip. A perfect combination of a shared love of stars and lazing around doing nothing.

But instead of looking at the stars, Sans’ gaze was glued to Red.

He just couldn’t stop marveling at how lucky he got. How life actually gave him something to love this deeply and freely. It was so atypical of him, so out of character that even he was shocked when he first realized what Red actually meant to him. But slowly, he came to accept those feelings and even shared them with Red little by little.

It was a bonus that any mention of love made Red turn his namesake. It was honestly too adorable and fun to tease Red every time he could.

He was so lost in thoughts that he missed something Red told him.

“hmmm?” Sans blinked his eyelights as he tried to focus on here and now.

“wha’s wron’ sweetheart?” Red flashed a smirk his way. “head full’a stars?”

“*snort*, there’s only one star bright enough for me, red.” Sans purred as his half-lidded gaze stared back at Red. Sans’ smile spread even wider as a soft crimson blush spread over Red’s cheekbones.

“stars dammit! dat was so corny! one star!” Red turned away to hide his obvious blush, as if that was possible in the dark while they were so close.

“aw, don’t be like that red. i’m staring to think you don’t love me anymore.”

“hardy har har. yer just pullin’ on my starstrings an’ ya know it.”

“what can i do, you are the star of my show.”

With a groan Red just turned back and deadpanned at Sans, making him chuckle. Red was the best.

Before Red could snark back anymore Sans leaned forward and kissed him. Their magic sparked as their tongues intertwined, the heat of their breaths a stark contrast with cool night air. They continued kissing until they both ran our of breath, leaning their foreheads together as they stared at each others eyelights. Bright white and red stars of their own.

“ya better stop dere sweetheart if ya don’ wan’ me ta jump yer bones.”

“heh, who says i don’t want you to?”

“but…” Red’ eyelights darted to the side, almost like he wanted to look around for something or someone. “hav’ ya forgo’en how it all end’d last time?”

“...” Sans lazily smiled and gave Red a chaste kiss on the teeth. “i’m not that easily startled out of trying again. are you?”

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The end UwU

Hope you like the value ending XD

If you’re wondering what happened last time they tired having some fun time in an open space… well it was a bit of an embarrassing mess ;P

Will they have more luck this time…………… I’ll let you guess >:3c

[mpregeminem]

I READ THE ANGEL KAMES FIC …. ough 😭 such a shame it’s unfinished. the fact that all of that went on in the span of 5 days kinda blew my mind like you’re telling me 100k+ words and it hasn’t even been a week? this is the slowest burn to ever burn. anyways do you have anymore fic recs 🫶

HI HIIII im so glad you like it yessssss!!!!!! and literally the way they make you wait saur long for them to even like eachother in any capacity had me climbing the walls that night...... and the WINGS bro......bro what if i wanted you to keep me safe and warm in a cocoon of your own flesh forever.. haha i mean-

and i doooo :) i've been saving this ask because i wanted to do a thorough list from my laptop, but i'll rec some of my favorites so far right now, and maybe some i've been meaning to read, but haven't yet

i have read and rec:

We could take it to the highway by skyline

kendall has to go back to minnesota and james offers to travel with him through the states. REALLY nice i loved skyline's writing and depiction of the boys' inner struggles. very grounded to the show's pillars and their dynamic really hit with me. i rec this to everyone who will listen because i liked it a lot lol <3

How to stop a haunting also by skyline

supernatural universe kames baybayyy. honestly all of skyline's works are so worth it, i still have a few of theirs to read but i strongly recommend the author in general (i rec more fics of their below but there's way more, i don't want to make the list too long hehe)

Lost without you by mintrosy

ANOTHER instant fav author. the guys suffer a shipwreck and kendall gets badly hurt. and they have to cauterize the wound and so on. very nice and sweet despite that description i just gave skdjsh

mintrosy also has a kames omegaverse series, lost bets (porn lol, kendall in lacy and james going apeshit), Sharing is caring, Dude (short and sweet fic about the four of them sharing outfits <3). honestly they have a tonn of fics so you can go to their profile and go bananas

Never did run smooth by ItsyRoyal

the first btr fic i read this year i think? so it has a special place in my heart <3 pinning kendall and oblivious james, very in-canon

Patrón on ice by skyline

james/camille/kendall because jamille is my guilty pleasure lol. very funny, james has a date with two beauts and doesn't know what to do with himself.

now for fics i haven't read yet but intend to:

Sweet people by xAnimaniac (50k words)

Kendall is a lawyer, always determined to stick to business. And even after losing his husband three years ago, he's not looking for any kind of relationship. Then he meets his new client James, who is a druggie accused of murder, rude and flirty and absolutely everything Kendall never thought he'd be into. So why does he like him so much?

I tell you I'm lost here (awaiting reply) by jaded_jane (30k words)

Gustavo allows James a second attempt at an audition and offers to make him a star when he likes what he hears. James jumps at the chance, and once he's gone to L.A., Kendall's left to hold everything and everyone together. As days go by, Kendall forces James a little further back in his mind, especially as contact goes from limited to non-existent and promises aren't kept. It's only then that Kendall realizes that the people he loves, leave him and never look back.

It's so hard to breathe by skyline (11k words)

“So you let Dak Zevon fuck you,” James says, and this time he doesn’t bother amending his word choice. “Interesting decision.”

right now im rummaging through EpicallyObsessed's ffn page but haven't read anything yet. they have a looot of long kames fics, mostly AUs.

Same with RainbowDiamonds, the author of the angel kames fic in question <3

hope this helps!! if you want let me know if you end up reading any of these ♥️

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

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The long-awaited, the sequel of a sequel, ✨ Mairuma Incorrect Quotes ✨Get ready..*finger guns* to be disappointed!

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Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #1

Purson: Lied? Ah hell no he's definitely not straight.

Camui: As much as I agree he doesn't really look like a demon who only has one gender attraction however, he never really shown any other type of gender other than the wonderful females.

Purson: Fine. Bet.

Moments later

Purson pointing in a random direction: Lied! Look it's Opera-sensei being shirtless!

Lied immediately whips his head around: Where?!

Camui:

( Yes, how did Lied-kun realize he isn't only bisexual? Opera. No need I say more.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

Kerori, literally not getting any sleep because of her akudol career: My fucking mixed complex is so weird and a pain in the ass too, like I could literally be bawling my eyes out on the floor and writing depressing inferiority lyrics, and the next second I could be boasting about my cuteness being as superior as Delkila.

Agares, just trying to get some sleep because it's fucking 3 AM but not wanting to be a prick to his best friend finally opening up: Uh-huh.

Kerori, unconciously pining over a girl she often rejects: Also Gyari, she is such an unbelievable asshole. Like she says she wants to give me some of her company's Vill because she said 'you should rest, Kerori. My beautiful gem must be at her very best for me to be happy making you mine.' like fuck you, that shit you just said made my brain turn into mush and now I can't stop thinking about it you rockhead bastard.

Agares, covering his ears with his pillow not wanting to hear the hopeless pining for the hundredth time: Uh-huh.

( 💫 Agares and Kerori, the tsundere duo because it's literally my drug 💫 )

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

Asmodeus, speaking to himself : Listen here, Alice. You don't want to have a stain on your honored position as Iruma-sama's soulmate. So you shall NOT allow your insufferable feelings get the better of you.

Iruma, does something Iruma-like:

Asmodeus, being incredibly in love: Fuck.

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #4

Ronove: You're just like me!

Zeze: Oh I can see~

Ronove and Zeze singing together dramatically: We take responsibilties~

Vine, mumbling in a corner about shiny people being way too sparkling: Oh derkila, TWO of these types now?

The rest of the student council except Ameri, realizing that they're gonna have another version of Ronove: Aw fuck.

( Student council shenanigans because I can.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #5

Misfit Class: We finally have a plan.

Balam: As long as it doesn't get you illegally in trouble

Misfit Class:

Balam:

Lied: FUCK! We planned this shit for two hours already!

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So yeah that's all. I decided to be nice and give them a break on the dark humor and trauma thing. Don't expect this to be your usual. This is one-in a life time sorta thing. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my post and have a good day or night guys, gals and non-binary pals!