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vitosscaletta · 4 years ago

Note

>:) Personality + Background for Helena, Basics + Appearance for Erin

YES thank u... vampire time

Helena

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment?

Probably neutral good ehehehe

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)?

Her number one passion is acting, it’s not really a hobby since she does it professionally (or is trying to lol).. She enjoys learning history though, especially the mid-18th century :^) Also music, corny movies, she’s also a huge sims fan >:)

As for her favorites uhhh her favorite band is My Chemical Romance DUH, fav movies are Shakespeare in Love, Valley of The Dolls (yeah ik it sucks),... Shark Tale.... aaaaand her favorite food is fries. Or it was, she can’t eat it anymore :(

What are they bad at?

Within the game’s mechanics and all that.. she’s not much good in a fight (thank u faelike background). She’s still significantly stronger than the average human of course, but very fragile for vampire standarts :/ Noodle arms bitch

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses?

None that I can think of

What are their goals and motivations?

Before her embrace it was to become a famous actress.. which isn’t possible anymore, she’s still craving that kind of lifestyle though. She grew up not being very well off and not being very popular either, so it’s kinda... wanting to be someone important? Like that Will Smith fish from shark tale :)

What are their manners like? Any habits?

She’s rather well-mannered, not exactly posh but she doesn’t do anything weird in public either.. usually.

What are they most afraid of?

irrelevance... something like that :/

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like?

She’s originally from San Francisco, grew up with a single mom and her younger sister. They weren’t very well off so her mom had to work a lot, it was pretty much just her and her sister :/ She wasn’t very popular either so she made only few friends in school, it was lonely :(

What’s their family like?

Her mom Jenny is a nice lady, very goal-oriented.. she was very popular in high school, which is how she met Helena’s dad. He’s originally from germany and comes from a long line of vampire hunters and religious zealots (Society of Leopold hoes..), doesn’t really know anything about it though. His family are just a bunch of weird catholics. They had two children, miss Helena & her little Sister, Elizabeth before he divorced his wife and fucked off 👋. He cut off all contact and doesn’t pay child support bc he’s a freak. Also Elizabeth is currently studying law somewhere, their mother insisted they make something of themselves >:(

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold?

She’s with the camarilla, mostly due to the fact that Christian is in it too. She came to them all starry-eyed because the other members were all sexy, powerful and rich vampires which is pretty much what she wants to be like lmao.. She works directly for Lacroix, kinda like the fledgling except with better pay, slightly less shitty jobs and a tiny bit more respect (only a tiny bit everyone still thinks she’s dumb af). She just has to run small errants lol. There’s no official rank or title though lol.

She’s not really loyal to them or anything and quickly becomes disillusioned by it all. Vampire society is fucked up... she kinda starts spending more time with the Hollywood anarchs because toreador solidarity, doesn’t join their cause though. The anarchs can’t stand her lmao. She’s really mostly independent...

How do they fit into their “story”?

She’s just your good ol’ regular La Croy foundations employee, she was initially my fledgling but I don’t want Christian (her sire) to die, I suppose she’s just like.. there.. idk its kind of a wip

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like?

She has that little apartment in downtown LA during the events of bloodlines :^) It’s a nice place, modern interior and all that... she does miss her old apartment with the victorian furniture though :(( Post bloodlines she probably leaves LA after the whole thing with Lacrosse lol... she’s friends with Ash now they can go on a road trip or something

How do they eventually die?

she doesn’t... shes a vampire >:)

Erin

BASICS

What’s their full name?

Cassandra Erin Winters :~)

What does their name mean? Why were they named that?

Cassandra (from greek “to excel, to shine “) is a little nod to the seer Cassandra, who appears somewhere in her bloodline :^) In-universe it’s one of those names that appear throughout her family.. there are a bunch of important great-grandmothers, aunts and other relatives so her parents named her that to make it look like they’re an important dynasty or something. Rich people bs. Erin is an english derivative of the irish word for.. Ireland lmao. It was just one of those names that were popular in the early 80′s and her mother liked it, there’s no real reason behind it!

Do they have any nicknames?

jhdfjhfd Cammy by Damsel even though she helped them out 😒 also “Newbie” by her bf sdkjskjdf romance ❤

How old are they?

22 in 2004, I suppose she’s 37 in 2020 aka during the events of bloodlines 2

When’s their birthday?

December 13th, 1982

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance?

I had to take a whole quiz for this but she’s a Sagittarius 😌 I’d say it definitely does lol... she reads her horoscope almost daily

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities?

Vampire lol... specifically of clan Malkavikan. As for magical abilities yknow, typical vampire stuff, plus the voices & Malkavian insight and all that. Her abilities are Auspex and Obfuscate :^)

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor?

No class but her favorite weapon was the axe she found in the haunted hotel

APPEARANCE

What do they look like?

goddd.... small, pretty blonde, pale skin bc she’s dead, yellow-ish eyes (used to be blue)... big eyes, sliightly overplucked eyebrows bc it’s 2004 :( she’s still cute though

Do they have a face claim?

Mostly Bella Heathcote and Christina Ricci in one image I found on pinterest lol.. I never have faceclaims that are 100% what they look like :(

What’s their style like? Clothes, hair, makeup?

goddd jt was pretty much regular late 90s/early 2000s popular girl before her embrace.. short skirts, juicy tracksuits, tube tops, those awful tinted glasses, coats with fake fur. Her hair was often in those late 90′s updos with a few streaks hanging loose in the front... makeup is just regular looks from the time, lipgloss, frosty eyeshadow and all that 🤢 she’s a big fan of turtleneck sweaters though 😌

It’s still the same but a bit more fucked up post-embrace because she’s just like go crazy aaahh go stupid aaahhh and digs out some of her weirder clothes because half of these vampire bitches wear dumber clothes than her anyway... an old white lace dress that looks like it’s from the early 1900s or something like that... her standard outfits are still low-rise jeans with tank tops and those giant early 2000s shoes though, she just adds in a few weird looking clothes for fun sometimes

How do they carry themselves? What’s their default expression?

Honestly she looks like this emoji 😳 most of the time, Malkavian voices, weird doomsday visions and all that... She had a very cheerful attitude before her embrace and it still shows sometimes, most of the time it’s kinda weird though :(

Do they have any physical ailments or disabilities?

nope!

#jennystahl #thank u hehe...#c: helena #c: erin #miss helena..

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saccharineomens · 5 years ago

Note

I want to know all the answers from your 100 question meme

Something you find romantic? Answer whichever #'s you feel comfortable answering; I want to know all your inner musings 😝

cat why do you do this to me

i’ll be sticking them below a readmore, then!

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? Yes! Unless you’ve communicated with your partner that it’s okay.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Hmmm this is a really hard decision. I usually say telepathy, but I like shapeshifting, too. I loved the Animorphs books as a kid, even though I didn’t read them all.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Monetarily? Nah. But I like to think I’ll still have strong, rich friendships and I think I’ll have enough money to live comfortably alone.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story. I just don’t really have one rip. Drunk people are hilarious but normally I’m the DD. I’ve got several pleasant stories, though! There was a time me and my best friend went to a pub and drank cider and played board games and video games until closing time. Afterwards we stopped at an Insomnia cookies, a storm caused the electricity to go out, and we got a half dozen cookies for free. (well, I felt guilty, so I left them a very large tip.)

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? I was going through college, it was long distance, and I felt he deserved better. We keep in touch, though.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Well, painlessly, of old age, in my sleep, of course. But if that’s not an option, out of all the ways of dying, freezing to death seems the most humane. You just get tired, cold, and sleepy, and then you just...don’t wake up.

8. What are your current goals? Graduate, mostly. Long-term I’d like to live with friends in a big house and my cat, and have enough free time to garden and craft at my leisure, and have the ability to travel wherever I’d like. I’d like to work on a game or movie I’m really passionate about, and I’d love to become a director someday.

9. Do you like someone? I mean, I like a lot of people, but I assume this means romantically. So, kind of? I find a lot of people attractive and have a ‘if they wanted to date I’d be down’ feeling, but I don’t have serious feelings for anybody specific.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? Hmmm I have a terrible memory. Myself, perhaps? I have a really hard time with getting up when my alarms go off. Sleep inertia’s a big problem for me. This has led to me being late to classes and rushing to get ready, which is stressful.

11. Do you like your body? Ehhhh. I guess. It could be improved, like by not having health issues.

12. Can you keep a diet? Ha! No.

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I hope you have a wonderful day. The universe doesn’t care about us so be excellent to each other!

14. Do you work? Constantly, every day. I work to learn new things, accomplish school assignments, make money, feed myself...All my life is is working, right now.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Salad! Because anything can be a salad. Tuna salad, fruit salad, salad with salmon...

16. Would you get a tattoo? Oh, absolutely. The only reason I don’t have any is because of money. I have like five small ideas and one very large one that i’d like across my back.

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Food, my family, and my friends.

18. Can you drive? Yes. Do I have a license? No.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Probably sometime in the past month by my mother, but she’s just about the only person who does.

20. What was the last thing you cried for? asdfjal;ksdjfs it was Treasure Planet. Jim and Silver’s relationship is just [clutches chest] so beautiful.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of, sporadically.

22. Is life fun? Yes!

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I mean, I prefer you excuse yourself, but more or less yeah.

24. What’s your dream car? My sib got this really nice Prius used at a good price, and it has a lot of room and it’s a hybrid, so Nice. I don’t tend to pay much attention to cars, as long as they’re comfortable and low-waste.

25. Are grades in school important? I admit that they’re important to me, but that’s something I have to unlearn. My worth isn’t determined by other people.

26. Describe your crush. Ugh. I’m bi, guys. I get crushes on people all the time, every day. Saw this really pretty redhead in the cafeteria over a month ago, and I saw her again yesterday. She’s a couple inches taller than me and has really pretty curly hair, but I didn’t really, like, stare, so I couldn’t describe her face well past ‘cute nose’.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Nothing jumps to mind. I guess I’m still falling over myself after seeing Mad Max back in like 2015, that was just the coolest experience ever. I find delight in just about every movie I watch, though. The second Jumanji-sequels movie was just as fun and amazing as the first. Klaus was just incredible in so many ways.

28. What was your last lie? I...really just do not remember. Probably telling myself “I’m gonna do my laundry today” a few days ago? Whereas I DID do my laundry today so HA

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I saved this question for last and it’s late and I honestly can’t remember anything, asdjls sorry. My memory’s awful y’all.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? Oh absolutely. I mean it wouldn’t be if they weren’t uncomfortable with it, but they always are.

31. Something you did and you are proud of? I did my laundry today? washed dried folded and everything. I also braved the nighttime neighborhood around my school to solo a Pokemon raid, which was cool. I’m proud of my animation done at the end of the last semester, and of how my teddy bear modelling is doing this week.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail? How am I supposed to choose this? How can you ask me to choose this? I’d have to line them all up and try one by one, honestly, before I could tell you.

33. Something you are good at? I’m pretty good at drawing anatomy and expressions, I think. I’m good at baking/cooking, although I lack creativity in the kitchen. I also think I’m a pretty good listener, and a good friend?

34. Do you like small kids? Most of the time!

35. How are you feeling right now? Frankly, a little drained with all these questions, but determined to finish them. I’m a little hungry. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and wish I was doing homework, but I also can’t get myself to do it right now.

36. What would you name your daughter/son? Not sure! Every once in a while I’ll be like “ooh, that’d be a great name” and then don’t remember to write it down. Besides, I plan on adopting, and most kiddos already have names.

37. What do you need to be happy? Money, friends, family, good food, and a place to explore.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? Not particularly. No one other than, well. The rich people I’m pretty sure everyone knows I dislike.

39. What was the last gift you received? Well, anything my mom cooks for me is a gift, but the last Proper gift was from my friend @ wefflebugs , who got me a blu-ray copy of Into the Spiderverse and some coffee for Christmas c:

40. What was the last gift you gave? I gave my sibling @ aconfusedbird a keychain of one of the two Bubble Bobble dragons and kept the other for myself, for their birthday. Handmade from Perler beads. We’d play that game for ages as kids, and we always fought over who’d be the blue one.

41. What was the last concert you went to? I think it was The Shins? They were so awesome!

42. Favourite place to shop at? Well, I quite like Target. But I also adore small resale shops. They always have some really awesome things hiding there.

43. Who inspires you? Oogh, a lot of people. Like a million and a half artists I’ve met online, ones I only know their screenname for, inspire me to get better at art. James Baxter and Sergio Pablos inspire me to get better at animation. Wefflebugs’ art always has such lovely colors, which I adore. featherdragon15′s art has gotten a lot better lately, and that inspires me to keep working hard too! Not to mention they’re working for nasa which is rad af, and also inspires me to keep working toward my dreams. My sibling aconfusedbird inspires me a Lot in a lot of personal ways, like to be more kind to myself and to keep moving forward. My mom inspires me to keep gardening. roachpatrol/roach-works inspired me to get into welding, lizardlicks inspired me into wanting chickens and a small homestead. My teachers inspire me to keep working hard in school.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? 19, I think? I’ve only gotten properly drunk once. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another boiled peanut, but other than that it wasn’t a problem lol.

45. How old were you when you first got high? I haven’t, actually. I don’t have a reason not to or anything, but it’s just never felt like the right vibe yanno?

46. How old were you when you first had sex? I guess it really depends on your definition. Personally, I’d say I haven’t yet.

47. When was your first kiss? Well, I played spin the bottle when I was seventeen, which was technically my first kiss, but if that doesn’t count then it was about a week before I turned eighteen, and I kissed the guy who’d become my first boyfriend.

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? Play video games....I wish I had infinite time to play video games and watch movies and draw and just...enjoy my time on earth, you know? Without feeling like it had a deadline.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I try not to live with regrets.

(50 is ‘post a selfie’ but im on a computer)

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Either aconfusedbird or featherdragon15, i think.

52. Name one thing that terrifies you. asdkfjal;sdf i’ve been listening to too much magnus archives and got recommended to ‘not be too scared of one thing’ if i want to avoid the creatures, so uh. hard to decide. I guess I’m scared of...hm. people who just lack the ability to create bonds with people? people who don’t care about other living things. humans can be fucking terrifying.

53. What kind of books do you read? Oh, just about anything. Fantasy, realistic fiction, romance, mysteries, thrillers, scifi...all are great. I didn’t used to enjoy nonfiction but it really depends on the nonfiction.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? You’re going to have a best friend someday, and it will be everything you wanted. Things with your mother will improve when you’re in your last few years of high school. You’re going to become a great artist.

55. What is your favourite flower? Not sure! I like many. There was this one flower i found in high school that smelled incredible, but I’ve no idea what it was. I should find it again.

56. Any bad habits you have? ...Well. Not waking up when my alarm goes off is pretty annoying. My procrastination in general’s frustrating. And, well, just between you, me, and the rest of the internet, (tw: self harm) my trichotillomania causes me constant distress and anxiety.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who want to learn new things, are kind and compassionate, respect me, and have a good sense of humor. Someone I can be adventurous with.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? Well, i answered a similar question earlier, so I’ll answer for the second most recent time I cried. I was in Pennsylvania, the day I had to fly home, and when I went to check in for my flight, all the seats were taken, and I needed to pay for an upgrade if I wanted to guarantee a spot on the flight. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, except that for both of my flights to get home, an upgrade cost $70. And seventy dollars was a big chunk out of my budget for, you know, food. So I cried out of stress and frustration with the airport companies for charging me seventy bucks for ten more inches of legroom that I didn’t want nor need.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? Not really! In terms of what’s normally accepted as “food” in American society, that is. I don’t care much for worms or insects. Other than that, I’m interested enough to try almost anything once.

60. Are you in love? In love? No. Am I full of love? Yes, for many, many, many things.

61. Something you find romantic? Oh man, anything could be romantic if done by someone I care for. I think gentleness is romantic. Quality time is my love language, so if my partner cancelled plans to spend time with me, that’d be romantic. I find romance in trying new things and going to new places.

62. How long was your longest relationship? Four months or so. It’s the only relationship I’ve been in, though, and I hadn’t intended for it to go past summer, so that was longer than I’d even planned on haha.

63, 64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Opposite sex? Uhhh kind of hard to answer this one. I mean, i hate the culture in which men are raised to be, but I’ve heard that ‘male’ and ‘female’ brains aren’t particularly predisposed to anything in particular? Like, both men and women are capable of emotional intelligence and compassion, it’s just that our culture doesn’t encourage it in men.

65. What are you saving money for? Food, college. I might treat myself to a school trip to Disney, but I don’t think I have the budget rn. As a student I’m kind of coasting by on the bare minimum rn, I don’t have anything i CAN save up for.

66. How would you describe your bad side? I mostly just avoid you or try to not spend time with you.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I am. I care about other people and try to make other people’s lives easier and happier. I try every day to become more sensitive to other perspectives. I do what I can to benefit the earth for those who will come after me.

68. What are you living for? Ooh, deep stuff. I’m living for helping other people. I’m living for my friends and family.

69 (nice). Have you ever done anything illegal? Pfft, guys, jaywalking is illegal. So yes. I’ve also drank while underage before. But nothing really big, no.

70. Do you like your body? Wait a second. This was number 11, too. Well, I guess I’ll change it to What don’t you like about your body? Which is my under-chin. It’s kind of a double chin, kind of not. But while most things I could change about my body, I don’t think I could change that without surgery. And yeah, I’ve thought about it. Not that I have any of the cash for it. I also wish I didn’t have (tw: self-harm) trichotillomania, so I’d have more eyelashes and eyebrows.

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I think I probably have, to douchebags. Like “hey, that’s inappropriate”.

72. Ever sent nudes? Nope!

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? God, no. Big #1 no no for me.

74. Favourite candy? I RECENTLY DISCOVERED TAKE 5′S AND REESES HAVE COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS CANDY BAR, SO, THAT.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! Agh, okay. @ aconfusedbird, @ busket, @ loreweaver-universe, @ orange-plum. The four blogs I don’t actually follow, but whose blogs I visit every day. It changes around every few years. It used to be a different bunch back when I first got on tumblr. I really have no idea why I haven’t followed them. Habit, I suppose? Also, it still won’t let me tag my sib for some reason. (nvm I removed the tags, i don’t want to bother them)

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? lmao uh, that’s kind of an understatement. I can’t list all my favorite games, but I’m very fond of The Last of Us. I have played. So many video games. I’ll chat about them anytime!

77. Favourite TV series? Avatar: The Last Airbender, I think. It’s really hard to top that.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Not really religious, no. I do think that there’s probably a god out there that sparked the Big Bang. I don’t really follow the Christian God because despite what every church service said, I never felt like He loved me. Jesus was a super cool guy, though. If there’s a god out there, I think they pretty much keep to themselves. Maybe have some fun watching creation, but don’t really interact with it at all.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? asdkfj;as i don’t remember. probably my textbook Directing the Story by Francis Glebas? It was a pretty cool book about moviemaking.

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? I’ve reblogged a lot on the subject. I respect those who practice it, but it can cause a lot of environmental harm. In theory, it’s not bad!

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Like eight years or so? Maybe nine? wild. I visited blogs daily before the number got high enough i was like ‘okay i’ll just make an account’.

82. Do you like Chinese food? Oh, yes!

83-85. McDonalds or Subway? Vodka or whiskey? Alcohol or drugs? Subway, whiskey and alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yes, yes, and no!

87. Meaning behind your blog name? I’ve had this one for many years now. I really like the word ‘saccharine’ -- inspired by @ saccharinesylph back in the old days -- and i couldn’t just name myself ‘saccharine’, so i needed something else. and I was pretty big into Good Omens at that time, and I was like ‘haha! saccharine, good, omens. saccharine omens!’ Plus, it feels like a very positive and comforting name, and I strive to be a comforting person.

88. What are you scared of? ok i def answered this moving on

89. Last time you were insulted? uhhhhhhhhh no idea. oh, wait! i know. i was getting graded on my performance at my job late last year and i disagreed with the grade my boss gave me. It was like ‘person shows considerable care of their community and goes above and beyond to educate others’ and i was like ‘oh yeah that’s, like, my whole Thing, my whole Goals and Personality and Ideals’ and then my boss came in and was like ‘2/4′ and i was like ‘wtf??’ Apparently she felt that i just wasn’t really applying that part of myself to my job, and i was like ‘you serious? i’m doing a lot!’ but also she’s my boss.

90. Most traumatic experience? A series of emotionally/mentally abusive things my mom did during my childhood. It’s definitely had the longest lasting effects of any trauma. Permanent anxiety problems, ptsd, my self harm, the whole shebang. Don’t worry, though, like. Things are way better between us, and she’s apologized many times.

91. Perfect date idea? Going on a hike! Maybe walking on a beach. Just spending time together and talking. Eating some delicious food. Spending the entire day with each other, then curling up and cuddling at home and watching a movie. then talking some more. lots of handholding and kisses. im a super hopeless romantic.

92. Favourite app on your phone? the internet, ofc lmao. But other than that I use Animal Crossing Pocket Camp and Pokemon Go an awful lot.

93. What colour are the walls in your room? At school a boring white, although I’ve taped some art up. At home a really pretty light blue color that I did all myself.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? I do! And I like so many channels, honestly. I really like Rachel and Jun, and I really like Pop Culture Detective. I’ve seen a lot of jackscepticeye’s stuff, too. Proko, Vox, and Sinix Design are all good too.

95. Share your favourite quote. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” -Dr Seuss

96. What is the meaning of life? To be happy, enjoy yourself, and love others!

97. Do you like horror movies? Ha ha ha, not really. I liked A Quiet Place though.

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? She’s cried sometimes over how she treated us in the past. Sometimes it happens because I talk about how she’s hurt me. She always expresses regret and apologizes again.

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I feel lucky with how I met my best friend. We’d had band together and kind of both thought each other as a cool person, but we didn’t really hit it off until a couple years later and she saw me drawing Homestuck fanart in Psychology lmao. The rest is history. Love you so much, Haley. I feel lucky my mom realized she was being abusive and stopped, too. Not everyone gets that.

100. Can you keep a secret? Oh, definitely. But do tell me what needs to be secret, otherwise I won’t know. For example, my sib asked me to keep their gf busy while they bought her a present, so I tried, but then she was like ‘oh, where’s your sibling? we should find them’ i was like ‘oh no, i think they’re just buying something, it’s fine’ but she was stubbornly moving toward the checkout and i was like ‘stop, i think they’re buying something for you’ so i. kinda told a secret? i didn’t tell her what the present was though.

JESUS THAT WAS A LOT OF TYPING, LMAO. IT’S THREE AM. GOODNIGHT

#axbox #omishu #about me

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 5 years ago

Text

hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

#smalluns proceed with caution. it's T rated remember #it's not dodgy though. just evil and cursed #anyway i'm going to sleep now for like 12 hours #random stuff #misadventures #if you're on the mobile app and the keep reading glitches and you have to scroll then i'm sorry #this is under a cut on desktop i promise

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thelegendofclarke · 6 years ago

Note

wait why is not shipping sansa with someone ugly an unpopular opinion? i know a lot of sansa ships aren't but idgi? what did i miss?

Oh maaannn lol! Ok this was like forever ago (almost as long ago as you sent this, so sorry for the late reply I am The Worst!), but I distinctly remember everything that happened because it was just so incredibly ridiculous…

This occurred around the time those “spoilers” first came out a while back that said Sansa and Gendry got together. Naturally, fandom lost it’s ever loving mind about it, which is generally an exercise in patience in itself. But the bullshit reached a fever pitch, and the straw that broke the camel’s back for me personally was some “~meta~” in the Sansa tag that basically said “Sansa and Gendry can’t end up together because Gendry is a Handsome Prince and Sansa can’t end up with anyone good looking or else she didn’t “learn her lesson” from all her abuse in King’s Landing.”

Now, for me personally, this was just ~slightly troubling~ for a few reasons…

It was really (not so) thinly veiled Sansa vs. Arya and “Sansa stealing from Arya” stuff, which I generally find annoying in all it’s forms.

“Pretty Girl ends up with Ugly Dude because she’s a ~better person~ now” is an incredibly gendered trope. It tends to be very misogynistic and patriarchal in it’s application and essentially has very minimal reversal in popular fiction… So I find it irritating af on principle and have no patience for it.

I only EVER see this logic applied to Sansa. There are countless other females characters who are rape and abuse victims in ASoIaF, but I literally never see anyone saying they can’t shack up with a cute guy/gal and make lots of pretty babies and live happily ever after because they should have “learned” life ain’t a romcom. In fact, on multiple occasions, I have seen the argument that certain other female characters ~deserve~ to end up with Mr. Kind & Handsome because they have been abused and suffered so much in the past… It’s another double standard this fandom has a tendency to apply to traditionally feminine characters and it’s some nonsense.

The idea that abuse is meant to “teach a lesson” is just, so unhealthy and uncomfortable and beyond gross… Abuse doesn’t have any kind of positive affect on character development. Abuse isn’t meant to make someone a better person. Abuse isn’t a learning experience. Abuse sin’t an opportunity for growth. Abusers aren’t positive influences or role models. Abuse is abuse, period. Dressing it up as some kind of moral or parable is honestly downright offensive and kind of repulsive.

SO I proceeded to vent my frustration about said “analysis” in the tags of some random post made by a friend kind of related to the subject, as I have ~maybe~ done ~on occasion~ once or twice. Theeennn some Asshole Anon (whose identity I do not know, but who I maintain is absolutely an asshole) decided to be a shit disturber and tell a mutual (whose identity I do know, but am not going to include or disclose because honestly at this point it’s unnecessary and irrelevant) who I had NO IDEA had any kind of firm stance (or stance at all) about Sansa x Pretty People that I was shit talking them and calling them a misogynist over a post they made about shipping Sansa with someone ugly (which I still don’t think I have ever actually seen).

For the record, I have zero problems with shipping Sansa with someone ugly or not conventionally attractive for aesthetic or appearance reasons. Any issues I do have with those ships are pretty much in no way based solely on the fact that the person Sansa is shipped with isn’t hot (although I gotta say, this saga reeeaaalllyyy tempted the spiteful bitch in me to do exactly that). One of the prominent tropes in Sansa’s arc (as well as other characters’ because GRRM is a hoe for fairy tales) is Beauty and the Beast and “beauty on the outside =/= beauty on the inside” ect and so forth. That is not what I was objecting to… What I WAS (and still am) objecting to, is the idea that Sansa must end up with someone ugly because she was abused. That if she does end up with someone attractive then she didn’t “learn her lesson” and essentially her abuse had no effect on her and meant nothing, or that she in any way needed to prove herself in that regard. Placing those kind of narrative limitations on an abuse victim because they were abused is something I find very icky and yikesy.

ANYWAY, then this (ex) mutual basically ~went off~ and complained for a while about how I was pathetic and Silly Sansa Stan who didn’t understand the story and blah blah and got a bunch more anons about it as well. Which is whatever, it was annoying but I don’t particularly care that much. What I did care about though was the fact that I then got anons telling me I am stupid and shallow (which I mean, yeah I am. but that is kind of beside the point), and just a delulu Jonsa shipper or something like that (also true, but also beside the point), and a terrible person (true again tbqh) because I think ending up with someone ugly is a “punishment” and being ugly is a “crime” that lessens someone’s worth (which no actually, I don’t. the supposed ~meta~ framed it that way, not me. in fact, that was one of the main themes of the post that I was objecting to). And then when I didn’t answer those anons, I got MORE anons angry with me for not answering because I guess they somehow thought that would make me be more inclined to answer the previous ones. In a SHOCKING plot twist, it did not.

… AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MISSED ON GLEE!

#it's a very gripping and compelling story i know #truly one for the memoirs #asoiaf for ts #got for ts #sansa stark for ts #wank for ts #fandom wank #alys answers #alys anons #anonymous

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doux-amer · 6 years ago

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I FINALLY SAW CAPTAIN MARVEL AND I GOT EMOTIONAL WATCHING IT. Okay, calming down now. As a lot of you know, my expectations were low as the marketing was lackluster, I was nervous about certain choices that were made, etc., and even though I avoided any CM chatter, I heard murmurs of mixed reactions...so my expectations were pretty much on the floor when I went to see it. I just hoped it would be fun even if it was okay, but uh...I REALLY ENJOYED IT. It’s not perfect and when I was talking to Alanna, she said people said it reminded them of CA:TFA (it really does in certain ways and I get why they said it, but TFA, for all its cheese and its weaknesses, is one of my favorite MCU movies lol). BUT! I! LOVED! IT! I don’t care about the unevenness because all that fell to the wayside by the sheer, all-encompassing joy I felt watching it.

This is how I wanted to feel watching Wonder Woman because I adored Diana as a little girl and it didn’t happen although I kept quiet about my disappointment because I wanted people to go support it anyway as it was super important that it did well. THIS THOUGH. I wanted to punch my fist in the air so many times and laugh and hug and hang out with Carol. I JUST. GOD.

I’ve experienced unfettered happiness and fun before with Marvel—that’s how I felt with The Avengers and with Spider-man: Homecoming. But this? This was the first time I was a fan of someone from the comics before seeing a movie and seeing it come to life the way I so hoped she would. It was extremely special because of that particular element and I got emotional because of it which I didn’t expect. I really felt disconnected to Carol from what I saw in the trailers and was afraid the movie wouldn’t resonate because it would be very white feminist-y. It wasn’t. And that hero on the screen? THAT WAS MY GIRL CAROL. I’m kind of getting slightly misty-eyed writing this. But GOD, I waited years for this and it’s just overwhelming wth!

I’m going to do my usual bullet points. If you want to avoid spoilers, scroll past this long post:

I was turned off by the silliness of the trailers and Carol’s more serious moments came off as unconvincing in them, so I expected not to connect with her. I WAS WRONG. I GOT MY GIRL. I’M WEEPING! She’s emotional! She’s feisty and bullheaded. She can be serious and fueled by anger. She can be fun even when she’s a fierce warrior, but not to the point that it’s distracting! Her humor is very much her own and very much Carol. It’s not witty. It’s goofy. She clearly finds herself hilarious which I LOVED. SHE’S SO DORKY, SMILING AT HER OWN JOKES.

The movie stayed away from what could have been a cringeworthy white savior undercurrent by making Carol culpable in the suffering of the oppressed. I know the Skrulls are aliens and look like them unlike the other aliens we’ve seen who you can’t exactly forget are played by POC characters, but lbr that narrative is about refugees and...look at current events lmao. As a Kree warrior, even if she unknowingly participated in the Kree-Skrull war ignorant of the truth, she hurt a lot of innocent people. And that’s great! It’s not that she was this pure person swooping in to save the weak or whatever. This is something she had to grapple with once her memories came back and her eyes were opened and she knew she had to make amends.

It reminded me strongly of Tony in IM1 with Obie dealing under the table to terrorists and becoming a part of a corrupt machine without meaning to. It didn’t matter that that was the case; he still felt responsible and accountability became a huge part of his story.

This origin story reminded me of Cap’s, not because of the whole military aspect to it lol but because of how she’s “just human.” Carol never gives up and Steve doesn’t either. They get knocked down? They’ll shake it off and stand back up. I might’ve gotten a little emotional here too which I didn’t expect. Plus she wanted to prove to herself that she could do whatever the hell she set her heart on. The other parallel was the whole fighting for the government/military who end up not being so great and going rogue thing.

It made me sad because we won’t get the Steve-Tony-Carol friendship we so deserve, but lol while the credits were rolling, my sister was like “Yeah, Tony’s going to die” because she’s the obvious successor. Originally she said it was because of his powers when I asked why and then she agreed when I pointed out that it’s not just because of his powers, but in terms of personality and a whole slew of things that reminded me of him AND Steve (it’s like Peter in CA:CW and SM:H). She feels like the linchpin holding the MCU together like them too.

Like the fact that Carol was the reason for the Avengers’ existence! That was obvious, but that scene where Fury’s typing on the computer and he looks at that photo of her before changing the name of the initiative? HM....I WAS VERKLEMPT.

Also, I loved how they made her get her powers. It wasn’t an accident. No one sacrificed their life for her. She got her powers because of her own actions. She got her powers because she was being a HERO. SHE IS WHO SHE IS BECAUSE OF HERSELF. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!

Speaking of that, I was surprised by the Mar-Vell plot twist because we all thought that would be Jude Law and I expected Annette Bening to be someone else (who she sort of ended up being anyway) lol. I didn’t mind that they did that. Love that she was Carol’s mentor.

I loved the female relationships. CAROL AND MARIA’S SCENES. MARIA BELIEVING IN HER. MARIA TALKING ABOUT HOW HARD IT WAS FOR HER AS A SINGLE MOM AND A WOMAN IN THE AIR FORCE, BUT CAROL DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THAT. THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF THEIR LIFE TOGETHER...BINCH...I MAY HAVE BLINKED OUT A TEAR!!!!! Carol being cute with Monica! Monica urging her mom to be a hero while Maria wanted to watch out for her because she has Monica to think of now, not just herself. Monica being responsible for Carol’s Captain Marvel getup! Carol and Maria getting involved with Lawson because she was their ticket to proving themselves and moving up!

And yet the movie didn’t get too hammy and heavy-handed with feminism (I hate it when some people write stuff that way because I find it extremely sloppy and ineffective)! We didn’t have to have a female villain just because we had a female lead superhero. We didn’t have to have moments where Carol says preachy lines. That moment where she just raised her eyebrow at the motorcycle dude? Fantastic. She didn’t have to deal with that scumbag. That moment where Yon-Rogg tried to pull a typical Man Move TM by trying to make her prove herself to him (and trying to take ownership of her development and strength)? She didn’t have to be all cocky and say some quip or cheesy af line. She wasn’t even that angry because he’s not worth it. He’s an ant beneath her foot. He’s irrelevant. She just says it straight up that she doesn’t have to prove anything to him, and that was what made that so powerful for me. It resonated because she said it like it was the truth, plain and simple, and it WAS.

No romance shoved in not because Carol didn’t need no man as a Strong Woman but because there are more important things at stake and honestly, the romance was with her wife Maria her relationships with other humans and the Skrulls were the emotional crux. They’re an important part of who she is and of rediscovering her identity. God...like her relationship with Fury? So well done. It was the buddy cop movie that I so wanted. I loved their jokes and their mutual respect for each other. I love how they became so important to each other and we saw Fury deeply care about someone and showing that. One of my favorite scenes is the one where they’re washing dishes together.

They also didn’t shove Coulson in too much which I was afraid of. We got to see where Fury started off, a greener one but one who was as compelling because he was so human. We got to see Fury deeply caring about someone and so openly (this is the guy who said, “I'm just an old man who cares very much about you“ to Tony in AoU). It was nice seeing how the whole belief in superheroes thing truly started with the both of them (Coulson had his whole Cap thing, but I feel like this was the moment where he imagined having a hero like that in his own time was possible).

Uh let’s see. I love Goose. I don’t particularly care for animals in movies even though I know people obsess about them, but they didn’t overdo Goose’s part.

All the little callbacks to the comics! KSD showing up!

The period part of the period piece wasn’t overdone which I appreciated. Carol typing made me laugh, the slow download and AOL shoutout made me laugh, and damn, the fashion and music? I was over the moon. You didn’t have to go over the top to make us immersed in the 90s. Also, my heart sang when we got Carol on a bike on the open road in a leather jacket. The bliss I felt is indescribable tbh.

Ooh the special effects were good for the most part! Loved seeing her fly and loved seeing her gut ships and destroy missiles. It felt real. Space didn’t feel cheesy af to me which was a problem I had with GotG 1.

Speaking of flying and punching things, it was so viscerally satisfying to see her do that. One of the things that really did it for me was how she enjoyed her powers. It was exhilarating seeing her fly for the first time (similar to seeing Tony taking out the suit for a test flight in IM1). Her little laugh/whoop of excitement? That’s what it would be like to discover you can fly! That grin when she breaks free of the Kree dampening her powers and she can feel her powers at full force running through her? That’s what it would be like to be at 100% and have all that. I wanted to jump out of my seat and feel what she felt. It made her powers not feel very OTT-overpowered? Carol has....too many powers and is super strong to the point that she’s overpowered, but uh...idk I didn’t have a problem with it here, mainly because of this.

The post-credits scenes were good too like....WOW, HUH. I watched this in Dolby (my first Dolby experience!) and I GOT EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY THIRSTY OVER STEVE IN A BEARD AND OUT OF HIS SUIT AND A TIGHT WHITE SHIRT!!! I DON’T KNOW HOW I KEPT IT TOGETHER BECAUSE I ALMOST DIDN’T WHICH WOULD’VE BEEN EMBARRASSING. BUT PHEW!!!!!! STEVE? WHAT A *****!!! Thought the scene was nice too even though I wish Carol got better hair. I assume she flew and that’s why she looks so bedraggled, but uhfhghdaoifhas I hated her hair in this and want Carol to get the nice hair she deserves (preferably a short butch cut...thanks. C’mon, Brie wants it too). OH, ALMOST COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION THAT IT BROKE MY HEART TO HEAR HER SAY, “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHO I AM. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM” AND TO NOT KNOW WHERE SHE BELONGS. SHE’S NOT KREE, BUT SHE’S NO LONGER FULLY HUMAN NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF HER POWERS BUT BECAUSE OF HER LIFE ON HALA AS WELL. I loved how we saw her journey to accepting that and who she is now and how that was all tied up nicely with her wearing her old leather jacket the Rambeaus kept for her and her new suit as she goes into space. What a great moment and a nice visual cue to a comics cover I really like of Carol wearing her jacket over her suit and staring up at the stars. I feel like trying to find her place and her identity are important to her so I loved that we got that here and we’ll hopefully see more of that.

There are a bunch of negatives here (a bunch of stuff about the Tesseract that go against canon, the Skrulls (makeup, personalities, nerfed powers and threat level imo, etc.), subpar writing and acting at moments, etc.), but I seriously don’t care at all because I enjoyed the ride. My happiness dwarfs every little thing I could have nitpicked. I don’t care!!! I had so much fun! I liked the movie a lot!

#captain marvel spoilers

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hellopro-go · 7 years ago

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[Album Review]: ⑮ Thank you, too - Morning Musume’17

So the heavily anticipated Momusu album was officially released yesterday-ish! I hopped on my computer immediately after classes to snatch it and get a taste of more modern post Tsunku-makes-everything Morning Daughter fakeness realness. Click through the read more to get more juicy details.

Tracklist-

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) 2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta 3. CHO DAI 4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai 5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go! 6. Style of my love 7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban 8. Seishun Say A-HA 9. Wakaindashi 10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ 11. Dokyuu no Go Sign 12. Koi wa Toki ni 13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) 14. BRAND NEW MORNING 15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary Ver.)

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) Coming right back in our faces with the tune that captured our hearts is Envy Envy, but SPARKLIER! Jealously is a tune with the funk-ish tune that would usually be gifted to a group such as Ju=Ju, but Tsunku-papa decided that it was time for a switcharoo. The vocals this time are much more clear, is the first thing I noticed of the Album Version, which is odd because usually albums from Up-Front are very over-mixed and muffled. This lets us know that there was a lot of effort put into the cleaning of this wonderful piece with a break down of an early-underground j-rap vibe. One thing that will always fascinate me about this sound is how the string instruments used here brings such a feeling of elegance, that it makes me feel like I’m rich while listening to it. Surely Tsunku understands and executes luxury in his spot on composition this time around.

2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta My first impression was a woah! from the beginning instrumentals. Immediately I was thrown back into the early 2013-2014 EDM songs that Tsunku used to produce for Momusu such as [What is LOVE?], and I fell in love until.... They started to sing. One thing I’m not crazy about is when management pitches this intense, powerful instrumental and then they break it into this... childish, “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” kind of melody. It’s done so much that it’s almost expected, but they got me this time, I’d say. Around the 3-minute mark, the melody gets very enjoyable for me, with more opera in the BG and a ballad reminiscent of The Vision. The fact that Morning Musume isn’t afraid of using soft high notes nowadays is great too.

3. CHO DAI Bitch I love fart-sounding electronic noises in my songs and it sounds like sarcasm but it’s high key not. One pattern that I’m starting to notice and it’s starting to irk me is the constant use of “one word” LONG REST “one word”. It was very refreshing with [Seishun Kozou wa Naiteiru], but after being repeated about a hundred times, it’s just boring and needs to go. This song is a good example of what me and my friends call “Scrapped Melodies” because at some parts it just sounds like Narcissus but slightly different. If you want a clearer example of a scrapped melody, think of Brainstorming(@0:37) and Wakuteka(@1:00) with that one farking melody that’s like... the same melody.

4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai This is the song I’d been anticipating the most on this album. After watching the recent Budokan footage of the song and my friend drilling me about how “Maachan fucked Sakura’s shit up here like do you not see that??!!”, The song grew on me to the point where I’d listen to the concert performance like it was an official track. It was also a great decision to keep this song behind bars until 2017 because in 2015 Riho sang some lines that were just... not her strong point... honestly (@1:17 & 3:45). But other than the lack of charisma that lives bring to this song, this is a good put!

5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go! Here We Go... again with the “one word” LONG REST “one word”. Even though this song is a bop. There’s something about the subtle nature of this song that drew me in, despite it being a tad bit on the plainer side of a Momusu song. Though I’m still a bit thrown off by Chiichan, she knows how to blend well to the point of merging with the background. The dance, might I add, is just basically Angerme’s Ai Sae but slightly different, pffft.

6. Style of my love Very stylish! Brings me back to something akin to [Senobi] in a way. With a melody of an early action anime opening (I’d say Inuyasha, or a classic fantasy-shoujo anime,) This song knows how to advertise itself. With Haruna having a few solos in this, it really shines and radiates a glow to the instrumentals. The dance break was a bit underwhelming, but do I hear Maria??? Wow, she’s really growing into her voice. I have very few qualms about this song, and I’m generally pleased.

7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban Shamefully, I found myself whispering “Motto, Mitsumete...” multiple times through the day. And finally we don’t have those classic Momusu heavy harmonies on like 99% of the darn song, and they lowered it to a 97%, but I’m tapping my foot, waiting y’all. This song is nearly as stylish as Style of my Love, but theres some feeling of living luxurious, yet lonely and discontent. I’m digging the story in it, even though I know the lyrics must be some irrelevant diarrhea.

8. Seishun Say A-HA Gonna get this out here first: I didn’t like the song when I first heard it a few times. Then it grew on me a bit and I can generally say I have a love-hate with it LOL. LIKE IM SORRY, BUT this song sounds like a pirate song. Like everyone in momusu is a stank ass pirate with scurvy and they’re having a sailing montage to find treasure. But it’s... it’s catchy for some reason. ugh. why @ Tsunku

9. Wakaindashi Damn do I love Duu and this song in general, but the soft EDM is bothering me for some reason?? We are back with the “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody and I’m still unnerved by “You can get fatter or skinnier” line like... why.... But this song is CUTE for Duu and therefore I support it. I also like the choreo in many ways. Duu controlling the wave is so cute. The dance break was pure.

10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ Me while reading that Haga’s gettin a lot of lines cause its a quartet: AYYYYY Me listening to the song finally: wtf this is Like ok I like the fact that it’s more rock orientated but it’s like... a lil boring. Especially the whole “Mougamandekinaiwa” all fast and shit.. It didn’t fit. I feel like this is a early rock vocaloid song. But I enjoy the fact that Tsunku is experiementing with different genres. He really loves his job. #come back papa

11. Dokyuu no Go Sign I love this song wtf... It’s like a near perfect combo of rock and EDM. Maybe if momusu would stop with the heavy ass harmonies it’d show a little more of it’s capability. The style of the song makes momusu seem more united despite the crazy battle for center currently going on. And Miki getting more lines is chill af (They’re realizing Mizuki is gettin old lol). The blend of musical elements along with the message of the song makes more a good pick-me-up, hype yourself up tune! PLUS THE LAYERING OF HARMONIES INTO THE HOLIEST DANCE BREAK TUNE IS MY ACTUAL SHIT. The bridge after that is so celebratory and invokes a feeling of greatfulness, I love it.

12. Koi wa Toki ni It goes from a video game level to where you gotta sneak around characters to the classic “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody... again. I’m really trying to get into this song but it’s very hard. It’s very plain and barely has any shine to it. One good thing I can say is that during the instrumental break, I’m reminded of early Kikuo songs and uh... I’m a whore for Kikuo so I fell for the break like a klutz. The use of unusual sounds here gives it a spacey vibe.

13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) NGL Joshikashi gets more and more cringey each time (especially Nonaka Miki’s verse), so this is a song on the album I’ll rarely indulge in. I love the fact that Maria incorporates her love for baseball to her verse even though she’s not my oshi. I value her a lot LMAO. But other than that, it’s a good song to familiarize yourself with the girls’ voices.

14. BRAND NEW MORNING god I hate this song, So Jean Luc Ponpon is deemed worthy enough after Mukidashi was released and gained popularity, and they bring him back for another round of Tsunku vs. Ponpon and this time, in my opinion, he flops. Brand new morning just isn’t my cup of tea no matter how many times I listen to it, and usually I can make my brain like an H!P song if I listen to it a bunch of times. Something about this song is very lacking and monotone, and doesn’t really get the feeling of a new Era across to me. If anything, this is the Jealousy Era to me (because everyone in Momusu is salty rn).

15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary ver.) I still really like this song, even with the updated singers. It’s much more fine tuned than back in the day, which really shows how music production has changed over just a span of 20 years! Amazing how fast the world progresses, isn’t it? All I can say as a closing note for this updated piece is that I’m glad Tsunku didn’t turn it into some crazy ass dubstep wub-wub version of the original. Thank you Tsunku papa.

OVERALL: I’d rate this album a 7.2/10. I feel like there could have been much more style variation in the music, track by track, especially because Momusu is so “highly esteemed”. These girls need to tackle other genres with how far they’ve come, especially since the older eras would bounce between stuff like [Memory~ Seishun no Hikari] all the way to [Onna ni Sachi Are] back in the day.

I’m also hoping that next time around, it isn’t Mizuki, Oda & the Backup Dancers. That’s one thing that bothers me the most out of his album.

Till next time!

#morning musume #morning musume 17 #thank you too #album review #tsunku #gossip #review

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neokollection · 7 years ago

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8K uestions

KoreanKonfessions

A/N: So, this is a lil late for our 8k followers, but if you’re interested in us, hopefully you’ll enjoy this, maybe chuckle a lil- I mean, this is a writing blog so why have an interest in confessions from the writers, it’s irrelevant, isn’t it? Anyway, you guys kinda make me sappy, so we’ll share this with you^^ - Adm Finn

Kuestion #1: Any blog habits?

K: I guess I have a habit of telling you guys imma post something and then I don’t? for like another two days… I’m very sorry pls forgive me

FN: This is embarrassing lol, but I want to let you guys know anyway- I go through almost all the reblogs of posts just to see what people write in the tags~ And when there’s something cute it makes me smile :’)

Kuestion #2: Who do you fantasize about the most?

K: In NCT obviously Jaehyun lol, but overall, I also fantasize about SF9′s Chani a good amount

FN: Hmmm... I think about Yuta and Jae a lot... Mark also bc he’d be such a cute bf, I think about stupid shit like making waffles together- [Since this bih brought up SF9 tho I gotta add Rowoon, my mannnnn]

Kuestion #3: What would be your ideal scenario and with who?

K: Alright, I know I sound stupid but I seriously couldn’t think of something so, I came up with having a tumbling date with Winwin at the beach where we like take videos together and post it or something idk… don’t judge me

FN: Um... a domestic date ahaha- I think it’d be nice to be home with Yuta and have him be super sweet and caring; not be a sly dog or pervy, but just cute things like him making takoyaki balls and u his lil assistant or smthng

Kuestion #4: If you could say anything to any member what would it be and to whom?

FN: Hmm, I’d want to shower Yuta in love- Let him know he’s loved and I appreciate all his hard work and that even though he’s the most handsome man in the world, he’s so much more than just a pretty face. That the way he takes care of and looks after his boys touches my heart and his liberal words just make me fall all the more in love with him- He should pursue his dreams and I’ll support him through thick and thin :’) #sappy

[We’d honestly say the same thing to all the boys so-] K: ???

Kuestion #5: An embarrassing habit?

K: Sometimes when I’m reverse parking, I try to look out the window (while it’s closed) to see where the line is and I end up hitting my head on the glass… yep

FN: Omg, I’m laughing at you Urm, I say ‘ah’ and ‘like’ all the fucking time, both in person and through text too...

Kuestion #6: Saucy secret?

K: One time my boyfriend and I went to go see a movie and I was like giving him a hand job and almost made him cum in his pants :’) [I mean I know ppl write that into fics a lot but irl… I don’t recommend. It’d be messy js…]

FN: Saucy I should have thought of answers before writing these questions... Ooooh, the blog I left before doesn’t know I made this one and yet we’ve talked hfwruahrugh but they don’t know it me, kek

Kuestion #7: Top kinks?

K: Clothed sex obviously my top kink lol, I guess rope bunny (only giving), and edging [and then my there’s my fucking weird ass boner fetish like idek] I’m a switch btw, I’d say I’m like 60% dom and 40% sub

FN: Idk if driving kink is a thing- but yo, when guys drive it’s kinda hot ggiyrgig, degradation, elegant or like just slender, but manly hands in general, omg bih also- when guys have long hair? it luks gross on some dudes, but I’m talkin about like Jeonghan lukin fine af; I’m also a switch, I’d just adapt to what kind of partner I’m with, I like both tho

Kuestion #8: What do you want to say to our 8,000 followers?

K: I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve given us up to this point. Ya’ll are the best followers ever

FN: Well, it’s been a long ass ride- Honestly, this might sound kind of dark- but Jaehyun recommended a song called Eternal Sunshine by Jhene Aiko, and I feel I have similar sentiments. Like, we’ve definitely had way more great moments and interactions than bad^^ I’m happy about that, so thank you~ Hmm... this is so sappy wtf. Well, I just wanted to confront something also; people have said when I talk [on here] I sound cold, bored, etc... Maybe through text my words my words are interpreted differently... But that’s not it haha, I usually don’t take myself seriously and try to make jokes as well as puns. I try to be quite friendly when talking to you guys [unless you don’t seem to be or I’m just supposed to answer a question like ‘where’s ____’]... It’s awkward ppl feel that way about me- AH I’m quite open for you guys :’) even tho I’m also awkward with certain things😅 This is so long, it’s gross. Anyway, thank you guys for not only supporting this sin bin of a blog, but for also supporting NCT and the rookies passionately and respectfully

Yeah- I don’t know how to end this...

💖

#things i am: johnjae trash #isn't that 8k uestions thing so creative??#that was adm k #punsssss #ok this like 3 days late i think lol

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thealpacalypse-archive · 7 years ago

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more unups liveblogging

i saw that there was a 16 minute video coming up so I decided it’d make sense if i made an extra post for it - i don’t like when those liveblog posts get too long

anyway, a squad that involved those four precious beans is def #SquadGoals

what’s also #goals is Jake in that red beanie and the Les Mis shirt. i’m just not sure what kind of goals - #roomie goals? #transition goals? #qpp goals?? who knows

where can i sign up to join the Agatha Upshur Protection Squad?

i mean we all saw that Aggie is perfectly able to protect and defend herself, i just wanna be there for her when she does that, like, cheer encouragingly from the background and stare assholes down that dare to waste her time

ultimate werewolf??? that sounds amazing i’m intrigued

werewolf is literally my fave

where’s my Squad that looks adorable and brings dogs and plays board games with me??

Jake’s awkwardness from Wally/Daphne’s kisses is #me af

“don’t let anybody tell you how to do you” I Love Jake

“I will not kiss you” - “you don’t have to!” Jake omg

is that Fabian the bisexual dog

damn i really wanna play that version of werewolf it looks so cool

i honestly 100% want to be friends with Lennon. someone who is that good at lying at werewolf is always an excellent addition to a squad

yeah yep Wally is a ninja

and now they’re just sleeping in a pile on the floor, that is awfully cute and definitely #squad goals omg

next video is called “Intervention”........ interesting

“witchy shit” is a good label for a binder

“maybe i should see a doctor? a witch doctor. ha!” i mean that’s hilarious but yea you probably should

*knocking on door* “piss off” that’s why Agatha continues to be The Most Relatable

wait, who is that on skype now?

i’m horribly failing at keeping up once again

(lol. Keeping Up With The Upshurs. Yeah I think i’m hilarious)

yeah why is everybody always keeping secrets from Agatha? not cool, people. not cool

so the Thing (which i forgot the name of) attached itself to aggie. great

i mean i understand kinda, i’m also v attached to her but like. Thingie. chill. Leave her alone

[okay i have this huge thing with anything that’s like possession or any kind of bond that isn’t consensual, i’m. not a big fan. so i really really hope that Aggie will get rid of the Thing soon, and that it won’t harm her]

i don’t like the Thing. aggie is being rude to Gemma because of it, and I don’t like that one bit

Agatha is pushing everyone away and I’m Suffering

okay only one more video and then i should probably go to bed

okay no this one isn’t even 2 minutes long i can do another after that one it’s fine

WTF WALLY WHAT’S THIS DECISION YOU’RE SCARING ME

great. Aggie is isolating herself and that’s the moment Wally decides to be completely out of reach?? what the fuck

WHTAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

NOPE NOPE NOPE

THIS SHOW WAS MEANT TO DISTRACT ME AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD NOT MAKE ME CRY AT 3 AM

okay all of this is so fucked up and i’m so scared for Wally

HE’S SIDING WITH ROSAMOND WTF

“I’d rather it’d be me than someone else” OKAY SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU AWFUL SELFLESS BEAUTIFUL BOY YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF LIKE THAT

okay stop it with this damn martyr stuff

and stop pushing each other away you assholes you need each other

(this is kinda completely irrelevant right now, but about the shipping: the longer this goes on, the more i’m convinced i actually want daphne/wally/jake to be endgame. pretty much every time wally talks about people that matter, he mentions daphne and jake in one breath, and he clearly loves them both. in different ways maybe, but he loves them)

(also, think about it: the perfect balance between supernatural stuff and everyday stuff, both are rly cute and both care about Wally a lot. what more is there to wish for?)

i bet you all knew i wouldn’t be able to stop watching after this. damn. more in the next post

#balth's uncanny liveblog #my posts #i forgot that i didn't wanna put these in the official tag #whoops #how many more?#unups

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pannacottawarrior · 8 years ago

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Hey just wondering but why do you like Whirl so much?

aight lemme just say once again; my answer’s gon’ be in the form of screaming and crying and pictures okay? :V and sorry it took me some time to answer this but i had to go back through issues and pages to find the appropriate pics and stuff - heads up - it’s p fucking long

aIGHT LET’S BEGIN

so we begin MTMTE meeting all the characters who’ll board the Lost Light and shit and Whirl is introduced and tbh he starts out creepy af o-o talking to corpses and shit and while it appears to have been therapeutic for him it’s quite?? creepy???

Cyclonus finds him by accident and he attacks him. Whirl starts out as a complete asshole at the beginning and honestly i didn’t like him too much at the start :/ the guy literally let another dude die because he didn’t want to open his door and let the guy into safety;;;;

but over the issues and shit he just?? kinda changes??? i mean he’s still an asshole, don’t get me wrong, but as you read on he starts showing that he cares about others - maybe not initially and it takes him time to show it and all but he does??

in this issue, he’s taunting Maximus into killing him and shit after he and Rung get held hostage, but when he starts threatening to shoot Rung if he doesn’t answer his questions, he stops taunting for a bit and tells him. Rung asks him why he never told him this since he is his psychiatrist and he just responds with ‘you never threatened to kill a friend of mine!’

it’s a slow development ik :V but development nonetheless~ like he starts off 'apologizing’ to Cyclonus by putting the blame all on him but in later issues he tries to make amends. he doesn’t own up to what he did at the start but he still shows he genuinely wants to start anew. even at his second attempt when he almost killed Cyclonus and Rewind because Cyclonus threatened him, he saves Rewind by bringing him back and also uses his spark (being compatible) to prevent Rewind from dying ;; he even gives Cyclonus the idea on how to save Tailgate’s life, TWICE. granted the second time he was in on the plan - not directly responsible but still in on it - he showed that he had a conscience and that he was actually struggling with his choices and felt bad.

and he tries so hard to get to Cyclonus to warn him what would happen even when he’s on the brink of passing out and losing part of his memories. this dude’s an asshole and seems to only care about himself and himself alone but he cared enough to go through THAT much trouble to save a minibot he barely even talks to?? not only that but he literally tells us that he actually does feel responsible for the bad shit he’s done of the years and for prompting Megatron start the war in the first place.

then he and Cyclonus form a weird sort of relationship over the issues and they bond as they fight together and tbh it’s kinda fucking badass >:3c it’s also cute at times too like when he’s interested in Cyclonus’ love life and asking if he and Tailgate are dating. bUT SERIOUSLY THESE TWO ARE FUCKING AWESOME TOGETHER I LOVE 'EM;;; EVEN WHIRL AGREES!!!

not only that?? but Whirl is actually kinda fucking hilarious XDD seriously this dude is just fucking funny;;; lookit him - he’s such a snarky smartass i l o ve him, there are more examples than the ones here and on that post i mentioned but yee :V this post is already p long let’s just move on

OH. OH. AND GUYS… THE F UCK I NG HOLIDA Y SPECI AL ISSUE. OH MY GO D;;; IT’S SHORT AND KINDA IRRELEVANT TO THE PLOT OF MTMTE BUT??? IT’S FUCKING??? SWEET????? LIKE;;;; WHIRL’S JUST TAKING CARE OF THIS BABY PROTOFORM WITH NAUTICA AND SWERVE AND HE’S FUCKING HILARIOUS IN THE COMIC TOO - LOOKIT HIM IN THIS PANEL

- BUT HE’S ALSO?? P PROTECTIVE AND SWEET??? LIKE BARELY EVEN KNOWS HER FOR A FEW HOURS AND HE ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO CALM HER DOWN AND COMFORT HER,

WANTS TO MAKE SURE SHE GETS PROPERLY TAKEN CARE OF BY SOMEONE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND YET FEELS RESPONSIBLE OVER SPARKY’S WELLBEING (IT’S LITERALLY THE FIRST THING HE ASKS NAUTICA AND VELOCITY ABOUT AFTER HE’S DONE PATCHING UP THE DOOR/WAKING UP FROM PASSING OUT), AND EVEN THOUGH HE INITIALLY WANTED TO THROW HER OUT OF THE AIR LOCK TO SAVE HIS SKIN HE DOES?? THIS??? INSTEAD????

LIKE;;;; THOSE PODS WEREN’T DESIGNED FOR TWO SPARKS - IT WOULDN’T PROTECT THE BOTH OF THEM AND THEY BOTH COULD’VE DIED BUT HE??? DID IT ANYWAY???? HE FUCKING DEPRIVED HIS OWN SPARK - FUCKING LIFE FORCE - TO KEEP SPARKY ALIVE and it’s sad that Sparky turned out to be pathogens trying to feed off of him so they could live to kill other bots but??? he still loves 'em??? l ike the dude’s genuinely proud of them;;;;; *cries* he wouldn’t be the best father but God damn it he’s fucking sweet and loving in his own way;;;;

i love Whirl ;^; he’s got HUGE flaws but?? it’s hard for me to completely hate the guy;; considering his background and what he’s struggling with even rn and how he still tries to be decent and caring in his own way, i just?? love him?? i wanna see more of Whirl and wanna see where they take his character but even if i don’t see another Whirl centric arc for a long ass time, idgaf - i love him already ;; plus there’s always fanfiction and HCs lmao

#ask #anon #Transformers MTMTE #Whirl #long post #like;; really fUCKING L O N G;;;;#tHAT HOLIDAY SPECIAL ISSUE #IS MY FUCKING FAVORITE OUT OF ALL OF THE MTMTE ISSUES #BECAUSE IT IS SO FUCKING?? SWEET??? AND HEARTWARMING????#I LOVE IT SO MUCH;;; THE ART STYLE IN IT WAS SO SIMPLIFIED BUT CUTE #WHIRL AND NAUTICA'S CHARACTERS ARE FUNNY AF BUT LOVABLE #AND I JUST LOVE LOVING FATHER FIGURE WHIRL OKAY #FUCKING HELL THE PROTOFORM TOOK AFTER //WHIRL'S// FORM LIK E HOLY F UCK #Y'ALL CAN SAY WHAT Y'ALL LIKE; WHIRL IS AN ASSHOLE I'LL ADMIT THAT #HE'S KILLED PEOPLE AND HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF PEOPLE AND ALSO #MEGATRON STARTING THE WAR AND SHIT BUT LI KE;;;;; HE'S STILL AN INTERESTING CHARACTER #AND HE MAKES ME SMILE AND LAUGH AND I LOVE HIS DEVELOPMENT #I PARTIALLY RELATE TO HIM AND I THINK HE'S NEAT OvO #also his design is fucking n oi c e 👌👌 >:3c #edit: fORGOT TO ADD THE BIT OF HIM HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SORRY ANON DXX

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swearronchanel · 8 years ago

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Kicking off the hiatus with 5.04

A few people have requested that I continue my commentaries™ during the hiatus & after all the positive feedback, I couldn’t say no! But I expected to have an awful day & it actually went well so I thought I’d go ahead and do it now. You know since I’m going to avoid all my responsibilities anyway it might as well be for a good cause🙃

I watched a lot of shameless on Netflix today so it’s nice to watch something wholesome for a change of pace 😂

“The world was shifting on its axis in 1961, strides were being made, decisions taken, questions asked..” Vanessa’s narration is always on point like I wish I had the patience to post all her quotes 😭😂

Aw sister Mary Cynthia! I hope she’s in the Christmas special

My bby trixie looking flawless while riding a bike, goals

But who is this nun they’re having a service for lol ??

Like it’s kinda irrelevant oops, r i p & dios te bendiga but why do we care? at least I don’t

Isn’t this girl from something? She looks so familiar

i remember saying this before .. oh yea she’s from game of thrones I think. I don’t watch it though haha

“Angel? I could get used to that!” Aw my bby is so cute like yes trix ur an angel

yikes that cough lady, I have a stuffy nose rn and I’m hoping I don’t start coughing 😭cause then I wanna be in a coma cause I hate being sick

Aw he'a so excited! He got into university👏🏼 that was legit me though 😂 I’m so irrational and literally only applied to one university (well I filled out many applications but didn’t submit any others because you gotta pay so I tried to wait and see if I got accepted to where I wanted first😂) I found out in English while on my phone instead of doing work & I screamed and just ran out the classroom 😂 I went to my guidance councilor and told everyone in the main office and then called my parents who *were nervous I wouldn’t get in* but also were literally going through security in the airport on their way to Dominican Republic .. ah, I was full of excitement and hope. Look at me now 3 semesters in &I’m over it 😂😂 it’s so stressful and mentally/emotionally draining and sometimes I’m just like how do I become a trophy wife asap?

BACK TO THE SHOW THOUGH

My bby SHELAGH! 😍 she is so precious in her suit aww, but lets be real the navy suit is the best™ one she owns. But I still like her best in uniform at the clinic though 💁🏼

she’s over here giving a talk on giving birth at home & Im just like holy shit SHE JUST HAD A BABY IN THEIR NEW HOME, I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT😭!!!!

Tom’s so excited for Ian it’s so cute and sweet

And Tom is so cute and attractive ugh, he could get it

oh damn wait Mrs Cottingham has the baby with no limbs

aw yea and she wanted a girl

I agree though little boys are gremlins 😂😂 from ages like 7-14, get them away from me 😂

Ian all hopeful for their future and then boom he’s a dad. That went from 0 to 💯 real quick

Phyllis!! & lol sister W giggling

But damn why they all acting like Sister J is too old and incapable 😂 she wants to go to St Cuthberts, let her

Sister Monica Joan upset aw😭 don’t worry sister you’re Help is needed

Pats and Deels look cute “tanning” outside

“You want to see Anita Ekberg in that fountain just as much as I do” Lmaoo 😂😂 for real though have u ever seen La Dolce Vita? Like Anita Ekberg was too hot to handle. I wish I looked that good damn

Trixie came to thirdwheel even though she isn’t unaware she is lol

But Trixie is serving summer looks™ I love it 😍

Damn though Patsy’s legs are pretty pasty 😂😂

Trixie wondering what the hell kinda magic bra Anita had on, literally same cause I want it. Always need good quality strapless bras for summer👍🏻

Patsy inviting Trixie and Delia gave the side eye omg 😂

Here comes Babs lmao

LOL DEELS IS SALTY OMG

ugh this is when Babs first got with Tom and they were annoying lmao, I got over it though

If I was Trixie I’d be lowkey mad too like that was her ex-fiancé but I’m glad they got over it and are friends despite that 💕 cause I know petty girls that would just cut the other off

WHY DO THEY PRONOUNCED SCHEDULE LIKE THAT? And honestly How?? Like I can’t even lol it’s hard. Oops is my American showing

Sister J out here

Ohh yea this matron is a bitch lmao, vete ya

What is the correlation between going to grammar school and getting pregnant ?? @ Ian’s mom

Lol Trixie’s just like pls don’t ask me

ugh get this nurse/matron or what ever tf she is off my screen before I smack her

I swear Jenny Agutter has such a relaxing voice, like she really can calm you down & tell you all will be well & you’ll just be like “yea you right”😭

Tom is so rational and sensible because if I walked in I’d immediately start screaming and all that like “calm tf down people"

Pats and Deels sneaking around in a convent lol it gives me anxiety always thinking “oh shit u think someone will walk in?”

LOL OKAY TOM YOU TELL YOURSELF TRIXIE IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

Damn Tom you just made Babs feel like a rebound™

“Who’s to say we won’t carry on” ya will be fine & get married next year chill out

So Babs is only 23, how old are the other nurses *well how old do you think*??

WHEN WILL WE SEE A NONNATUN BIRTHDAY?? *I preferably want to see Trixie or Shelagh have one* but I’d take anyone really, like these people literally celebrate every other damn holiday/event but no one has had a birthday?? Except for Jenny and Chummy but they’re both gone lol

yikes emphysema, one of my grandfathers died from that. 70 odd years of tobacco smoking 😬 he did someone love to be 85 yrs old though. Idk how, he couldn’t breathe for so long

I love Phyllis just saying again for the millionth time

Aw Trix 💔 you will be happy soon💕😭

See! She said w/o Sister J she’d be screaming! Her presence is calming

Emergency c-section aye dios

Turn up at the pub

Lol funny how the dad gave Tom orange juice bc he’s a vicar but he was drunk af the night before his wedding 😂 drunk enough to have little memory and to be hungover the next day

we’ve all been there tho I don’t judge

Is it really CtM if there’s not at least one mention of babycham a series?

c-sections are wild omg

also I’ve never been under anesthesia so I’d be scared af

LOL & also I’ve never had a kid so that’s scary too duh

“Oh God another one” ahh omg

Do you think that was a doll ??

Again this show makes everything look real af so I never know

Is the doctor here the Mr Kenely that I hate??

They really left that baby there to die like o m g

Sister J praying/blessing the baby 💔💔 my freaking heart omg

again this nurse is on my screen and I need her to go, preferably to carajoland

“may the lord bless you and keep you”!! 💔😭

the third deformed baby and they didn’t report it??

“I’m not drunk” I mean you’re sitting on the floor in the bathroom so I’d think you were too 😂

Lol remember.. *cringes* no wait lets not

Tom worked in a record shop that’s cute

damn Tom do you really think telling them to just settle is the best way to comfort him

Aw sister J needs a hug😭😢💕

and yes prayer you’re right sister MJ

Sister MJ, Sister MC & Sister J comforting each other is so pure, all the they have scenes together wash my sins away for a second

wait where tf is sister Winifred lmao, did she just scadaddle after compline? snuck out to see a heathen movie i bet jk jk I’m sure she only sneaks to quality films

but then I say dumb shit like that ^ or even worse/more inappropriate & the sins return😂😂

There’s my bby Shelagh! And in uniform, love it. 😭😍

Whenever Shelagh goes back to work next series I hope we see more of her being a nurse cause I love it

Wild that the hospital was just not saying anything about the deformed babies

Sister J coming to the best detective in Poplar, Dr Watson aka Shelagh Turner aka secret agent Shealgh Turnova™ 😂😂 *forever one of my fave lines of hers*

Lmao Tim helping out old ladies, being a good seed & too perfect of a teen

But damn boy comb your hair!

“I haven’t boiled any urine today, nice to have a change of pace” Lol Babs😂😂

oh no she’s bleeding 😢

I’m having flashbacks to Shelagh’s threatened miscarriage like lets not go down that painful memory lane

Sister J told Ruby it was a girl bc she knew she wanted a girl ughhh 😢

Ruby thinks it was a punishment 💔 ugh my heart & ugh again makes me think of when Shelagh thought she was being punished/greedy when they told her she couldn’t have a baby 💔

Stop the sadness I say, stop it now

“We haven’t got a fairy godmother between us” WHERE IS PHYLLIS WHEN SHE IS NEEDED?

And Poor what’s her name 💔💔

oh yea it’s Linda omg how could I forget that’s my Gram’s name

But Shelagh and Trixie are interacting!!

It’s about a patient but at least they’re speaking right .. LMAO BUT WAIT ILL NEVER BE OVER HORMONAL SHELGH YELLING AT TRIXIE ABOUT THE FAMILY PLANING CLINIC ENTRANCE

ALSO: I’LL KEEP SAYING IT TILL I DIE, ALL I WANT IS A TRIXIE & SHELAGH FRIENDSHIP! 😭😭💕💖💖 they’re my bbys and I’ve been asking nicely

shit ¡¡ @beatrix-franklin wrote a damn essay as to why we need/want it !!

PLS LET IT HAPPEN @ HEIDI & OTHER WRITERS😭💔

Shelagh’s grey cardigan is actually cute *she just doesn’t need anymore lol*

“What the poor pet really needs is a good cry, a bottle of aspirin and a hug in no particular order..but the hug is of prime importance” you see. We could’ve have a cute scene of Trixie visiting Shelagh in the hospital & a little parallel of when she visited her in the sanatorium

or Just give me Trixie hugging Shelagh and I’ll cry of joy 😭💕

omg wait

shit I forgot Ian put his head in the oven

Angela playing on the floor !! So precious 💖

“..Don’t think they’d thank you for that Patrick, they’re both younger than me” Lol I always laugh at that, it’s kinda cute. I like when Shelagh has funny lines , why didn’t Patrick say anything back 😂 there could’ve been cute playful banter. Even this series we could’ve heard him call her an elderly primigravida is a joking/playful banter context ..BUT at least we know now Shelagh is 36!

Yea man those bombs impacted multiple generations

“So World War II is history now is it?” I seriously love these little lines of Shelagh’s lol. Also funny how she prob sees her self as old, and she was what, like my age, when the war needed?? 18 or 19 depending on her birthday (We’d know but nonnatuns apparently don’t ever have birthdays)

Shit. Wait..I feel. Kinda strange and scary to think my future children will learn in school the events I’ve lived through so far ??

okay lets not think about that

what’s the sluice? I know he washes instruments but what exactly is the sluice? The room ? Idk

Aw Angela crying, one of the the only times we’ve heard her make a sound lol

WAIT HE COULD BE SUED FOR BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT WHAT??

“How long have we been broken off?” “A year. To be precise a year and ten days” I know they weren’t really a good match but aw 😭 it was nice while it lasted

Trixie Bby 💔💔 happiness is coming your way I promise

“I never know when I love you the most. But I sometimes think these are the times I love you best..”😭😭 BYE IM DEAD AGAIN & MY HEART EXPLODED AGAIN😭💔💕💕

thinking about it though, they’ve never actually said I love you properly, have they??

See Patrick’s little med school anecdote, can Shelagh share one anytime soon? About anything from her past, I’m just curious.

Was that just a piece of “in the mirror” or is it playing in my head? Honestly it happens quite often, I’ll swear I hear a song and it’s actually in my head

alright Ian so why were you marrying her? you switching it up kid

I’m calling him kid like he’s not probably older than me lmao

Phyllis in her robe I love it

Trixie serving yet another look™😍

I’m so glad Trixie gave Babs her “blessing” & became good friends. So pure, we don’t need any more women being put against each other

“Fuzzy felt apostles” WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THAT? It’s not even funny?

Now the service for a nun we never knew, filled with extra nuns we will never know or care about.

I love that the nurses are at the service lol, like they probably don’t have to be but still there for fam

& Shelagh there wearin a mantilla, so sweet😭💕

“God hugs you” aw sister MC 😭❤️

You gotta admit even if you aren’t religious this show does make you feel some type of faith

“We knew so little then, in a world that seems so filled of opening doors and bright horizons. We thought only of what was new and better because it was new and better. And it would take us to places we had never been before.” VANESSA😭 she never fails with the narration, never.

Trixie helping Babs fix her bracelet bc there’s no hard feelings and she’s happy for them aw

“..We couldn’t see what was coming or understand yet what had already come to pass, yet so much still to learn”

Oh shit that foreshadow was heavy, especially because it ends with a shot of baby cottinghams body in the box.

I don’t think I picked up on that the first time .. Anyway it’s 1:15am I should go to bed I have class in the morning 😭😂

The End.🙃

#my commentaries™#call the midwife #who lets me do these lol #sorry it's long #oops #ya know I'm so extra™

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ralphmorgan-blog1 · 7 years ago

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How To Finally Get Over Your Ex

He doesn't have to be an actual ex-boyfriend to have fucked with your head.

Whether you've just gotten out of a real relationship or a pseudo one, you still committed your thoughts to one person. And now that it's over, your thoughts naturally must go elsewhere.

Sure, you have an uncanny ability to talk at length about this season's Essie colors, or whether Kourtney and Scott's love for one another is eternal, but your mind will eventually find its way back to the guy you couldn't stop thinking about a week—or even a month—ago.

But you have to stop thinking about him before you can let yourself start thinking about someone else (besides yourself, obviously).

“Power is being told you're not loved and not being destroyed by it.” —Madonna

If you had it easy and had actual closure to your relationship, all you really have to do is wait. Time, Netflix and SoulCycle heal all wounds. Embrace them.

Keep reminding yourself that your breakup was for the best, and that even though life sucks right now, it will be so much better later on when your mind is clear of your ex, and onto better things like the hot guy you're hooking up with or the new Chanel bag your mom got you for Christmas.

The real way to get over someone you have been under for so long is to find ways to stop thinking about him. But when you do find your mind wandering into ex territory, which typically happens when your phone dies or when the Brazilian-wax technician isn't particularly talkative that day, just let yourself go there.

Allow yourself to feel sad about the situation, that you miss him, you miss having a boyfriend, blah fucking blah. A little sadness is normal, lean into it for a few minutes.

The Boyfriend Mourning Formula

Dated under a year: (The amount you liked him from a scale 0-5) x [0.5 (months you dated)] = weeks to get over him.

Example: You fell out of love. So you're basically over it. Zero multiplied by anything is zero. Congrats, Betch, you're ready to move on.

Second Example: You were together for nine months, you loved him and he broke your heart. 5x[.5(9)]=22.5 weeks, or 5–6 months. Remember this is a maximum. If you take longer than this, spare your friends the agony and seek professional help. Please.

One to three years: You have six months to one year. You're allowed one month to wallow in your own self-pity, but that's it. Use the rest of this time of mourning to get back to your old self.

Over three years: You have one year and that's it. Okay MAYBE one and a half depending on the dramatic nature of the breakup. Just remember, Botox can't stop your eggs from aging.

But don't ever pity yourself. You are not hopeless; you will bounce back to your normal self. Allow yourself those few minutes of sadness, but then snap out of it. Remember that you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Don't forget, you're a betch. Don't make us look bad.

Eventually the sadness will subside and you'll be able to think clearly. Make it a point to go out when you would have typically stayed in with him. If you had a favorite restaurant at which you two always ate, go find an even better restaurant and make a fucking new memory with your besties.

Fuck, we feel like sad pathetic losers even writing this. But it's fine, because being depressed over a guy is a super pathetic sad and loser-y state to be in. Once you are able to look back and laugh at just how sad and pathetic you were during those long weeks or months (hopefully not years, time is the only thing you can't ever get back), then congrats because you are so over it.

Other signs you are over it: Hearing his name and not getting a weird nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach. Good sign. Seeing him in public without peeing your pants. Another good sign.

You may also be over it if you go on a date with someone and not once even think of your ex. But by date, we don't mean a one-night stand.

Sure, go out and have sex with a stranger, we don't discourage it. But don't assume that just because you fucked someone else, you're through the mourning process. Fuck for yourself, don't do it out of revenge or sadness. Because eventually the sex will end (probably too quickly), and you will go back to the rut from which you came (or more likely, didn't come).

However, if you didn't have closure to your relationship, that's an entirely different fucked-up playing field. This guy either ghosted you or never really gave you a concise, believable answer as to why he ended things.

When this happens, you have to make your own closure, which is about as easy and exciting as a juice cleanse or having a conversation with a cabdriver. Lucky for you, we have a handy guide for you to get over this loser.

The name of the game is replay, reconsider and repeat. (Yes, it's a play on lather, rinse, repeat.) Unless you're dirty AF, the goal of a hair-shower (not to be confused with a body-shower, which you should do daily) is to get rid of the dirt and oils that have accumulated on your scalp and hair throughout the day(s).

Now think of that dirt you're removing like the guy you're seeing. If you can get rid of him with just one rinse, congrats. But if you can't, keep repeating, Betch. He's bound to get out of your hair eventually.

Step One: Replay

Replay the relationship in your head. But instead of looking at it from your biased and slightly fantasized perspective, look at it from his. Don't be too hard on yourself, but imagine what he was thinking during each conversation or situation that you think may have taken part in your relationship's demise.

When you were saying, “I'm having a birthday party Saturday, you should stop by if you want,” is it possible he heard, “I want you to meet all my friends and celebrate a life milestone with me, and I'm just tricking you into a relationship?"

Step Two: Reconsider

Now that you've seen his perspective, it's time to be realistic and reconsider the situation. Delve deeper into what the actual truth of each situation is. Only then will you uncover what was actually wrong with the relationship and your communication.

Here, even though it hurts, try to be as real as you can. Maybe after some consideration you realized that you didn't really know him, and he didn't know you at all. You even asked your friends what they thought of him and they're like, What's he look like again? Perhaps you were obsessed with the idea of him and not actually him. You know that saying that goes “there's your side, his side, and the truth?"

Well the goal of this process is to see the truth. You're not a 45-year-old alcoholic homemaker from the 1950s; you don't need to lie to yourself.

Step Three: Repeat

Repeat this until you come to the inevitable conclusion that you two just weren't right for each other and, more important, he wasn't right for you.

So whatever happened during whatever period of time you were dating eventually ends up irrelevant, and you accept the fact that you don't even need to hear his side of the story because your version is about one billion times more profound than any bullshit he will have to say.

You're a betch, so you're pretty fucking smart, or at least smart enough to figure out that guys are pretty fucking stupid. As long as your reasoning isn't entirely delusional (again, lying to yourself isn't cute and is instead marginally psychotic), then you'll be able to get over him 100 percent of the time.

Unless he like, died—then take comfort in the fact that at least you weren't dumped and like, see a real therapist.

What Would Karen Do?

The complete opposite. She will use this time to dwell on how perfect his jawline is while rereading every text conversation the two of them ever had. She will then Google “how to hack into Snapchat's database to recover selfies of ex-boyfriend.”

After she sees Results Not Found, she will continue to talk about him until her friends kindly tell her to stop bitching about that bro, he was an asshole and never liked you.

She will storm away, feeling offended and over it for about five minutes. When she gets home, she'll troll Tinder until she finds him, will take a screenshot, send it to him and say, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE MOVED ON SO FAST. DIDN'T I MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!?!?

He will not respond. She'll think, he prob just didn't get the text.

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spilling-thoughts-blog1 · 7 years ago

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a collection of my honest (yet irrelevant) thoughts. | wednesday 8/30/2017 |

current adventure: college.

I feel stupid sitting on a bench on campus writing a post to (possibly) nobody; but after 3 classes (with another one today) spanning these first three days of college, I feel like I need to write it out. crying can only relieve so much in all honesty. so emo, my apologies.

classes started Monday, 8/28/30 and from the moment I woke up on Sunday, I've felt so empty and drained despite only taking two hour-and-twenty-minute long classes. Monday was okay. Class let out 30 minutes early, and since it was my only class of the day I walked a few blocks down to Girlfriend’s campus. Her school is insanely nice, just my style. Very industrial, modern, and taken care of. A drastic difference to my school.

Its dirty and old (not a cute-worn though, it just looks like it hasnt been taken care of) and the kids are crusty bums. Granted, Girlfriend’s school has weirdos, lots of them, but theres a sense of safety because you know they won't try to shank you if you bump them! I don't have that luxury here. Her school is a private art school, mine is just the local community college. gotta save those dollars.

Anyways. On Monday I sat on a bench (at Girlfriend’s school,) similar to this one, but I had the grass next to me instead of the dirt and sticks here and a young guy was cutting the lawn and it was quiet (aside from the lawnmower) and pretty and I felt like I was at home. The guy was nice, he felt bad asking me to move for a second so he could cut the grass next to me. If I was at my school I bet they would have just mowed right over my folders. Girlfriend got out of class after about an hour of me sitting on her campus and I got to see her for a few minutes, really the only other time I’ve seen her aside from the 20 minute car ride to school (which is two days a week keep in mind.)

We used to hang out everyday. Senior year was the best because I got to see her during practically every period (1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th actually... that is a lot lol) and then we would hang out after school. Perk of your girlfriend not driving- you have an excuse to see her more often; she has to run errands, she needs a ride home, she needs a ride to, etc etc.

The smell of funnel cake keeps distracting me. I don't think theres any funnel cake, it just smells fried and sweet because the cafeteria is behind me and I'm getting hungry for the first time this week.

Not seeing her is one of the shittiest parts of college so far. I really miss her. Her classes are super long, each one at least 2 hours long I believe, and even though our schools are less than a 10 minute walk from each other, I can't see her because when she gets out of class, I'm just going into class. I also hate not seeing any familiar faces. Yeah, you have to make friends blah blah blah, but its a shock going from my nice high school with students I’d gone to school with since middle school; some even elementary school to this. sounds privileged, in know... I don't know why it keeps surprising me as well seeing full on adults walking into classes. Good for them though.

My next class starts in 40 minutes (at 11:00 and its 10:17) but I’ll probably head up in a few. It’s a 2 hour and 50 minute class and I didn't bring any of the 6 books we have to read because I already had my two English books and I didn't want to lug 8 novels around in my backpack, especially since we haven't needed any of our books on the first day. But then again, its a 3 hour class and I doubt we’ll get out that early.

Ew it smells like kerosene... not my favorite smell by far. They're setting up lame tables and tents and “Week of Welcome” activities. Will I participate? no. Am I the cause of my misery and tears thus far? Mostly.

I read up on all of my professors I could find on “rate my professor” and this next one seems super fun. He has like, 4.4/5 review and apparently he's hot. everyone said his class is easy too which is a bonus. The reviews weren't too wrong about my Comp 2 professor, they didn't speak too highly of her. Right now I'm not a fan. She comes to class 5 minutes before it begins and seems very disorganized. I really don't like that. My Psych teacher is an absolute loon, but I feel like thats to be expected from a community college psychology professor. No offense if thats what you want to be, or if your favorite professor (or family member) is one. Just my honest thoughts.

The sun came out, thats nice. Eases my anxiety a little bit when its nice out.

Jesus Christ (pardon my language if it offends you) Chris brown just started blaring out of the welcome week speakers. they're trying to make this shitty cheap ass campus a party. no thank you. “now everybody put your hands in the air. yeah yeah yeah.” its lit. sense the sarcasm.

Hopefully this class will be better and when I get home (1:50 can't come soon enough) the feeling of empty darkness inside of me that has lingered for the past 3 days will subside a little bit. I won't get my hopes up. I should start a tear jar, a warning to seniors.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO SEE FAMILIAR FACES I DONT MEAN THE CRUSTY MEAN FUCKBOYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. I WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS; OH WAIT, THEYRE ALL OVER ACHIEVERS AND NICE KIDS AND ARE AWAY AT SCHOOLS LIVING FUN LIVES AND BEING HAPPY, OR AT PRIVATE SCHOOLS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET BUSY DOING AMAZING ART. now its glamorous. good thing Fergie spells G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S because I don't think half of these kids can.

its been a while, its almost 5:30 now. my 3 hour class was boring as hell. he is not hot, nor young and he was 5 minutes late to class. you can hear him suck back his snot every few minutes and choke on it a little. but his class will be easy so thats great. I'm just questioning whether I need it or not.

I haven't cried yet today, we’ll see how I feel later though. I miss Girlfriend. She’ll be home soon but I’ll bet you she’ll have to eat dinner as soon as she gets home, and then she’ll start her homework. nobody disrupts her art, not even me so I'll get to talk to her before bed for a few before I pass out at 10:00. It sucks because I was supposed to see Her Friday after my morning class ends, because she doesn't have class but then my new manager asked if I could come in. so instead of finally spending a day with her I'll be getting trained. my old manager is starting at the new store which is why I'm coming with him, but he has to get trained first, so really, its like starting a new job completely. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to switch jobs the first week of school. granted, there was no way in hell I would have stayed at my old job. I just should have waited until this first God awful week was over. but thats just my luck.

Im always so tired now. I say always like its been a few weeks of school when really its been 4 days. mom asked if I wanted to go on a walk with the family, and of course I said no. “it’ll be good for your mental health” ahh I see, she can see me slowly slipping downhill again and wants to prevent it. well, I don't think a walk is going to make me feel much better about the fact that my school is dirty and the hallway I was in for my last class smelled horrible, which obviously worsened my mood, and the added fact that I'm starting a new job this week and don't know what I should wear. oh, and the other fact that I don't get to see my girlfriend anymore already and its only been 4 days.

I had a bad feeling when She had her orientation and made her schedule. I new going to different schools would be horrible, but I didn't realize it would be like this. she's actually having fun and enjoying herself and making a few friends, and then theres me and I'm miserable and still have yet to speak to anyone really and she can't text in class when I'm out of class and I can't text in class when she's out. so thats great. I'm just waiting for the day she says someones flirting with her and she doesn't hate it. perks of dating a poly. I can't say no and deny her, especially when I'm not doing anything for her, or even seeing her, when someone else sees her almost every day. here come the watery eyes. plus, those kids are so much like her, they share her biggest passion. She always says she could never date someone who does what she does because it would be too much competition, but I feel like she's going to meet a photographer or videographer and it’ll be different enough to not impede on her talent, but it'll be similar enough that it’s great conversation and bonding. I'm just a jealous girlfriend, and college for us is looking to be the way I thought it would.

so, a summery for my future self who doesn't want to listen to this pity party:

Wednesday august 30, 2017. college sucks, I cry everyday, I hate my cheap dirty school and lame ass professors, I hardly see Girlfriend already, her experience is going great and I’m stressed af about starting a new job. countdown to the end of the semester- 74 days, 15 weeks, roughly 3.75 months, aka, too long to keep doing this shit.

#college #thoughts on college #school #sad #thoughts #journal #august #back to school #first year #freshman #college freshman #lonely #I hate school #I hate college #college Is the worst #irrelevant thoughts

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survivordivergent · 8 years ago

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EPISODE 10 - “MAYBE REPUTATION DOES PLAY A BIG PART IN THINGS?” - ED

Whew. SO someone has the other half of amity? I'm shook

I wanna vote this Eliza bich out so bad She's so BORING FUCK Be FUNNY perhaps

I'm really frustrated that I can't give more time to this game. Maybe once there's a couple less people I will be able to get a better idea of what's going on.

I gave Eliza my advantage 2 rounds ago. I don't know if I mentioned that.

I kind of want to work with Otto because they are really honest with me but I know Eliza doesn't trust them. Hopefully Geo can go next. I'll use all the power I have in this duo to try and get him out first.

I really love the BH5 alliance. They are all great people and the chat is always poppin'. I'm super curious to see who everyone is. Im really hoping they all stick with this 5 until f5. I'm also gonna try to keep Lucy and Gio and Lake close so I can tell where their votes are going. The plan is to get Otto out next because he told Lake he wants me out or I'm winning. I told BH5, and they immediately said, "Otto? Gotta go." They think it's unwise to align with Lake because he leaks plans, but he didn't leak the Kyle was the vote. Lake is a good egg to keep close, and I will as long as they will let me keep him. We have a live challenge of Cut the Rope tonight, and as long as Otto doesn't win, I'm fine with it. But hopefully everyone likes me enough to let me win? After all, I have the most friends, right? ;)

I really hope Eliza is okay, she's my dear :(

This is my first cut the rope. I'm anxious. Who do I come for first, Lake? Otto? Geo even? LUCY? Who knows? NOT I SAID THE PAYTON. NOT... I.

I know that my last confesssionals were cocky but thats cause i didnt know the truth. Otto is a fucking dick and i dont get why hes calling me melania. whoever you are i hope you get lost in whatever fucking space station you came you little good for nothing fat ass loser, theres no point in keeping you around if youre going to be rude af when all you do is sit around and raise your cholesterol level and know theres no point in continuing if theres nothing on youre resume and you're never going to win you little bitch so yuo might as well quit now before it gets even more uglier for you

IM SCREAMING BECAUSE LUCY AS THE OL. SHE WAS LITERALLY LIKE "I HAVENT EVEN HAD TIME TO FIND ~HALF~ AN IDOL" AND I WAS LIKE OMG THAT WAS SO SPECIFIC SHES GOTTA HAVE IT NOW I CAN USE HER AND IM DEAD IM SO DEAD

I'm trying to spice this game up i really am

I'm laughing so fucking hard

"Literally. Who." Otto talking about himself 2017

I dont know who these inatives are thinking they can say whatever the shit they want Otto and Lake can go kill themselves and I wouldnt bat an eye i literally hate them so much

ohhh SO Much is happening!! so i just found out payton has the other half of the amity IDOL AHHHH thank god. great news for me tbh. also this challenge is so enlightening, at least now i know where i stand... it seems like the minority is me, geo, otto and lake. i tried to test the waters about working with them to geo and he shut me down so fast, he's just obsessed with sticking with payton and ed when its pretty clear neither of us are in ed's top group. also ed always wins reward and now just won immunity and hmm... i just don't trust him! though he has been keeping me safe so far, i just have to keep looking like the poor little deer that needs them to guide me to safety every week.. otto just approached me about making a "big move" and like i want to so bad... but i literally am fucked if i lose the trust of payton or ed... and geo is obsessed with them so i don't think he'd be down for it either. the last two votes have gone exactly how i wanted them and in a perfect world melissa would go this week (am i gonna hold a grudge that she posted the closed flower? i sure am!) or even jill... people don't like lake or otto but they're just like irrelevant people that i might be able to use for a vote in my eyes so its too early to let them go, but i also sure will throw them right under the bus if i need to in order to stay another week! this is gonna be a tough vote. we'll see though.

me: about to dissect otto's argument

Otto: you bitching in the jill, eliza, and payton chat? me: thats stupid to call out in the tribe chat

Otto: why try to pick off outsiders me: cause of stuff like this

Otto: nobody talked to me about the vote, if so, they lied to me or they were voted me: apparently it's going to be Kyle Otto: (according to Lucy) *votes lucy*

Otto: i dont get messages from people in control of the game me: what is that supposed to mean you stupid bitch you can take control with people not in control!!

Otto: ill respect people who will make the end to talk to me me: fuck you

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

i dont get why im coming after otto now im a genuinely nice person

FIREWORKS.

Very pleasantly surprised at how that immunity went. I know I'm a colossal target after winning the last three rewards and now an immunity. I know everyone suspects I have an idol, even though I've only confirmed that fact to Payton and Melissa. But I'd argue I'm in a VERY good spot for now. Maybe the second-best in the game after Eliza.

I'm reasonably sure the vote is falling on Otto this week, and for me it's a great move. He's pleading that people get more self-interested and make a move, but that only makes sense for those who feel they're at the bottom. Me, I'm fully invested in the BH5. I think the rest are too. And I like my odds at F5. I can win comps if needed, I have an idol as a failsafe, and realistically I suspect Lucy and/or Payton will need to be idoled at F6 using their halves of the Amity idol. That's great news. Payton found out about Lucy's half-idol last night, and she's realistically the best person who could have had it, as far as leaving Payts and I with options.

So unfortunately for Otto and his 'big moves' approach, that makes me even more eager to boot him – not because he's inactive or because of his past sins, necessarily. More because he's being very clever about this. If anyone takes him up on it, or feels like they're at the bottom of the BH5, then suddenly my position is much more tenuous. And the longer they're exposed to it, the more it might resonate with anyone who feels even slightly vulnerable.

And look, I'm not naive. I realize that Payton and I were late-comers to the alliance. And I'm probably the first target when we get down in numbers (or when we lose immunity, maybe. I'm not convinced anyone REALLY wants me in the F5 except Payton.) But I still think this is a good spot. I trust my instincts, and they're telling me that this group may very well bring me to 5 and try to cut me then. Likely flushing my idol before then, but still. If they do bring me to the F5, that's probably a mistake on their behalf. And if they do take me out before then, all the kudos in the world to them.

I really like where I stand with Payton (obviously,) Melissa and Eliza. I think I'm least tight with Jill, which is very surprising because I still think we're on great terms.

Man, I just love this alliance. I can't wait to find out who all these people are after the game, because they're a lot of fun.

I also really like Lucy and can't get over how clever she was about revealing her possession of the half idol to Payton. Payts asked if she'd found anything and she said "omg no i havent even had time to find HALF an idol." Like, that's REALLY smart. It wouldn't raise too many concerns or suspicions to anyone who didn't know that the Amity idol was halved, but to someone in the know, it's a subtle poke. Really clever. A great option – and I can't see Payton wanting to stick with BH5 to final five. So that gives us flexibility to make a move without forcing me to get my hands dirty.

This game is going a lot better than I could have hoped. Huh. Maybe reputation DOES play a big part in things?

I'm SO SCARED that Jill wants my head. She came for Melissa and that concerns me. I'm hoping light discussion of condiments will make her dislike me less.

If you're gonna kill a grape, ferment it and drink to its life cut short - Ed, 2k17

I'm this group of sinners not even being able to keep their alternative facts straight - Melissa, 2k17

BH5 is just ed and all his sister wives at this point

this vote! is so messy! everyone is throwing out fake names, eliza's throwing out geo's name to me and otto, but then payton's telling me the vote is still otto. i really really appreciate otto's desire to make a big move and i want it to work but it looks like the numbers just are not there. he's trying to get that big group to split themselves but its just not realistic...i think at like 8:45 I'm gonna tell otto that its him tonight and just :( feel sad for him for a minute because that alliance is already bigger and stronger than we thought :(. otto first wanted to do payton but i steered him away from that and now i think he's gonna go for jill, which honestly would be another move in my best interest but like i said. the numbers. just aren't there. unless he can pull some magic in the last few hours before tribal its not going to happen. my best bet next is to try and get closer with eliza/jill and warn them about how close payton/ed are and like dfkslsdkj just break up their weird power group sooner rather than later. on another note its super cute and nice to not have my name being thrown out for the first time in awhile :) i feel safe.....maybe that means this is the week i go home hmm.

i hate myself im screaming im leaving on my moms birthday bye bitches fuck you all sorry otto btw!!

i dont know what to believe, i dont want to leave today, i hate evryone rn cause idk whats happening and i cant trust no one, i shouldve just played more cutthroat fuck it all i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself, im leaving tonight

So I've got Payton, Lake, and Jill all telling me that Otto is going for me, sending me receipts, and I'm so so afraid I will be gone tonight. All it takes is for one of BH5 to flip and I'm gone. Or an idol. The plan is for BH5 plus Lake and Lucy to vote Otto, but I'm terrified of idols right now. Ah.. I'm just so afraid I can't even think right now

The names I've heard come up are KYLE, LUCY, and LAKE. Personally I'd want KYLE or LAKE out, but I'm not confident there are numbers there to get either of them out? I actually would really want KYLE out because I think targeting LUCY for "inactivity" is really boring and stupid because it doesn't push the game in a more fluid direction. Eliza apparently wants the FOUR people to pick off the SIX people until we're down to the core. She probably wants this because she'd win. I'm SLEEP!!! I think that is just so boring and stale and pointless and it's like... what's the point of playing if the plan is just to pick off the minority, and then pick off the people outside of the core alliance? Like shake it up... have some fun? Make some moves. Try to have a good time. If Eliza got to the end I'd probably vote for anyone that wasn't HER because she seems to be the one sort of leading that charge for this stale gameplay. Anyways. Whatever. I'm trying to talk more and have funny conversations with people so we all have a good time. But I don't think I'd get to the end because? I just don't have a tight alliance with anyone. But ALSO like.... it would make sense for people to take me to the end as a goat.... Moving forward I think my only/best option is to just.... win challenges! And every time I'm immune I can just.... TRY to shake things up to gain favour with the jury maybe? Idk.

WHEW I'm the moment when I forget I'm a 20 year old good girl from Massachusetts and jump head-first into the Discourse in the tribe chat. In a span of five minutes, I threw myself onto Team Wine and talked about shook white boys with a RuPaul obsession likeeeeeeeeeeeeee I probably should have just dropped a selfie while I was at it, I'm a damn mess. In other news Jill is rude, I deserved immunity, Otto is a disaster, no one trusts Ed, I might be working with Lake in a minute, no one remembers Geo exists but he still lost immunity first, and idk a Lucy but I still wanna thank her for that open flower last round that was real sweet of her. And Ed is right, "it's a dick, they're not that complicated" from the tribe chat really does need to be an episode title <3

So thinking about my conversation with Otto in the tribe chat last night, I am realizing something. The reason the alliance of 5 between Melissa, Eliza, Ed, Payton and myself is together is because we are all usually online for this. The others are not on as much and it's difficult to really plan votes with them. I don't even know how to talk to any of them about the votes because I don't usually talk to them and they don't talk to me. As ugly and boring as our 5 person alliance steam-rolling merge is, I think it may be my best chance. I am hoping that no one is going to try anything shady. I want to be the one to do shady things. F5 terrifies me because idk how it will go. I basically hope i can make it past that tribal and then I will be happy

Voting against Eliza's wishes.

But Jill deserves it.

I'm so mad. Fight me.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS TRIBAL IS A MESS. A HUGE, HUGE, MESS.

I am literally hyperventilating. Jill pretty much told Otto we know about his plans and if he has an idol, it's definitely being played. Payton and Ed say that if Otto plays an idol, Ed will play his idol on me. Im just so... why would Jill do that? If she winds up leaving because of this, I'm fine with it but.. I'm literally freaking out and I'm also trying to kill zombies right now and I just can't focus. If i need to play the simulation, I will

#iwillbecomesomethingelse

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