#lol sorry i'm rambling

[abacus051601]

average lawrence moment

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[chiricat]

ryomina demons are winning

[pricklybruin]

Transformers Reverse Mini-Bang 2024 (@tf-bigbang) is finally here!!💥💥 Here is my piece, featuring Minimus and Ravage on a mission on a frozen planet. It's quite eventful!

Please go read @icypolargirl78 's wonderful fic Dead and Melting Ice!!!

((Close-ups below cut <3))

[basketobread]

I JUST REALIZED I NEVER SHARED PALADIN LUNARA LOL (yes i drew her in aylins armor... IT'S SO PRETTY I HAD TO!!! just pretend they're swapping outfits cuz they're besties ^_^ /j)

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

[ventique18]

The way twst intentionally made it a big slap to the face that Idia's and Ortho's mom and dad would go through heaven and hell to save their children, yet Malleus' only living blood relative is completely silent throughout the disaster...

The way the Shrouds would exhaust everything they have just to retrieve their robot son who isn't even alive, yet the remaining Draconia can't even stand up from her throne to check if her grandson is still alive.

My queen, my queen, have you forsaken him?

[cometshift]

disaster waltz

[disorganised-bagel]

i think people like these, so. i present to you:

rtc incorrect quotes, except they're all screenshots of things i've said that i found in my camera roll (part 3)

throws these at you

(part 1) (part 2) (part 4)

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Actual footage of Tony trying to talk to Kelsey this episode:

Now what I personally need is for her to despise him for a while then for them to have some big heart to heart and them to become best friends OKAY I'm very invested in what's become of their dynamic and I'm all here for "Punished" Tony the wet cat that he is I yield the rest of my time thank you.

[firequeenofficial]

Couldn't find the original post, but this is Ranchers. To me.

[bambiraptorx]

Rise au with the whole 'Draxum kidnaps a turtle for nefarious and evil purposes' trope except the gargoyles are super not into it and actively trying to free said turtle

Like maybe they aren't super obviously going against it or anything (especially given the premise of their boss kidnapping a whole ass child and presumably more or less torturing them, he's probably not a guy you necessarily want to confront directly) but they are distinctly not playing along.

Cause the thing is, they've canonically been lying to him since the day he hired them and he presumably never figured that out (he probably would not have kept them around if he had) and they're kinda known for being 'stupid' and messing stuff up, so it wouldn't be all that hard for them to just. Do that on purpose.

For example: Draxum tells them to stop feeding the whichever turtle it is so that he can starve into compliance. A few days later he's like "damn why isn't starving them working" and the gargoyles are just like "oh we were supposed to be doing that? we forgor oopsie :("

or like

Draxum asks them to watch the turtle overnight, and the next morning they're like "oh did you mean keep them in the cage overnight? Cause we just let them out. Yeah for a stretch, a quick little run. Btw you're paying us overtime for that right?"

Draxum's like "well go find them you buffoons" and they're like "okay fine", and then come back half an hour later and are like "good news we figured out how to find the kid fast! we called yokai CPS :)"

[dootznbootz]

that WHO in no longer u oh my GOD

YESSSS

Like, yeah, Odysseus is like "Yandere" (joking but also not) because kills all who even go near Penelope and Telemachus and he's very protective of them AND jealous.

But I think this "WHO?!" is also a desperate plea as to who is this dangerous man who is near his wife? A warlord? A conquerer? A man who would not even care about Penelope for who she is and mistreats her?

Because even in the Odyssey, Odysseus asks about Penelope to his mother.

Tell me of the wife I married. What are her thoughts and plans? Is she still there with our son, keeping watch on everything? Or has she been married                            to the finest of Achaeans?

(Book 11, Johnston)

There's not even much resentment in his question. There could be but Narrator does not say. The use of "the finest of Achaeans" almost is a "Did she at least marry the best man? Did she at least marry a GOOD man?"

In "No Longer You", when he hears of this dangerous man NEAR his wife, he is SCARED. It could be jealousy but I feel it's more of concern. As it is in the Odyssey.

"I understand if she would remarry, it pains me but I did tell her that when Telemachus finally grows his beard, she could. I will love her always but is she at least happy? Is she safe?"

And she's not safe. She's not happy. He is terrified.

Psst. The reason why My Odysseus takes a long time to grow his beard is because of that line. He's hoping that his son will take after him and take forever to grow a beard like he did (as he doesn't really have one even when he first leaves for Troy) because he would try forever to get home. Penelope even teases him that he still doesn't have one so that's a silly request and that's the point. "I will never stop trying to come back to you. He and I will likely remain beardless forever." (it's a little funky for him when he finally grows one by the end of Troy. He's thinking "...Shit. Telemachus, stay baby-faced for your dad please.")

ANYWAYS.

I mean we all know that these two are obsessed with each other in the Odyssey and in Epic. They are likeminded and are so integral to who they are. They mean everything to one another. I think Odysseus genuinely does want Penelope happy. As even in the Odyssey with him simply asking for another bed, shows how much he loves and respects her. He could've been like "get in it" even though she had rejected him at first but he LISTENS BECAUSE HE LOVES HER. Only breaking down into a sobbing mess when he believes she destroyed their bed.

"Heaven made you as you are, but for sheer obstinacy you put all the rest of your sex in the shade. No other wife could have steeled herself to keep so long out of the arms of a husband she had just got back after nineteen years of misadventure. Well, nurse, make a bed for me to sleep alone in. For my wife's heart is just about as hard as iron."

(Book 23, Rieu)

Please note that this is his attempt to insult her in a way and yet he still talks about her being from Heaven 👀 SIMP

But even though he's deeply hurt by her rejection (poor guy would've probably sobbed himself to sleep) He still asks for another bed. After sleeping on the floor and in the dirt since he's been on Ithaca, refusing beds unless it's his own marriage bed, he takes her 'no' because he values her happiness and comfort over his own. He takes a lesser bed so she can still sleep in their own luxurious one.

I mean we know how fucking awful the suitors are. Hold Them Down is a disturbing song. (as it should be. As they are not good men) He does not even know how bad these men are yet. If his future self could speak with his past self, he'd probably be like "Yeah, don't worry about the guy who kills a bunch of people, they had it coming. ;) " or something.

That "WHO?!" is a mix of jealousy AND fear.

[didyoulookforme]

nsfw alphabet: cute & soft matty healy x fem reader

so, i'm not a writer whatsoever, but i have thoughts (a lot of them smutty tbh) about a certain matty healy and wanted to jot them down as i need to try and get them off this brain of mine.

i have a type and it's middle part sometimes straight hair sometimes curly silver chain baggy clothes wearing matty, who in my head appears shy and innocent at first due to his fidgety demeanour (eg. running hands thru his hair constantly, mindlessly biting his bottom lip, repeatedly tapping his foot, etc.) but is actually very opinionated and witty with the people he’s close to, including you. he’s been your bff for years but is afraid of taking it further because he adores you and doesn't want your friendship to be ruined due to his big feelings towards you. he loves to hug you to feel you close and breathe in your scent, but honestly, he doesn't (or tries to not) have much physical contact with you otherwise because his mind, heart, and body cannot take it. he's enamoured by you and has been for years now to the point where he is 96.7% sure he's really, really in love. that's how it all starts and you do eventually end up together, but it takes some time... oh, and he has a crazy sex drive and lots of dirty thoughts about you. a shy romantic horny opinionated man who is mostly a sub.

nothing super unique, just mostly here for the soft bf matty vibes because we all deserve one of those.

(sorry in advance for all the grammatical errors, typos, and run on sentences. i'm not a proofreader.)

warnings: 18+, lots of smut with some fluff. this is too fucking long lol

(not quite) sfw version here

matty healy masterlist here

--------

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

this boy lives and breathes to take care of you, before, after, and during sex. anything he can do to make you feel safe, loved, satisfied. but his favourite form of aftercare is, hands down, using his mouth and tongue to make sure you're all clean. after he does so, the little ritual continues by spending time just softly kissing each other's lips. you both indulge in the lingering taste of each other's cum, but there's nothing dirty or aggressive about it. it's all gentle, a sweet reminder that you belong to each other.

b = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

if matty were to choose his favourite part of his body, it would be his arms. after all, there's a reason why he keeps decorating them with tattoos. makes him feel confident about himself and, honestly, doesn't mind all the compliments either. bless him. but he also has grown to appreciate his unruly curly head of hair, the reason being that he knows how much you like it after all the tantrums you throw whenever he cuts it. before you get together, you only play with it when you're too drunk or high, but when you do so it makes his heart grow.

his favourite part(s) of your body are your hands. so delicate with silver rings adorning almost every finger. it's difficult for him to not watch when you rub them against each other when you're nervous. or how your hand finds itself in front of your mouth whenever you laugh too hard at his nonsense. he knows you prefer dark nail polish vs. lighter coloured ones. he has imagined countless times how your hands would feel on him. sigh. he worships those hands of yours and would kiss then every single second if he could.

after you do get together, he realizes that, as cliché as it sounds, he loves your cunt. for one, when he first saw you completely naked he thought he could just die happy right then and there. but that was until he got to taste you and decided he'd much rather be alive as he could never have enough of your sweetness. and how it perfectly fits around him? he swears he’s the luckiest motherfucker alive.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

oh god. don't let the shy boy act fool you. he is FILTHY. it took a few months for this side of him to show, but you are over the moon when you find out how enthralled he is when he sees his cum dripping out of you. it all started one afternoon when you were riding him (his fav position of course, see letter f below). he finished inside you, his head thrown back over the couch while trying to catch his breath. after a few minutes, you raise your hips to pull away and carefully sit right below his stomach, making sure not too hurt him. once his breathing is back to normal, he looks back at you with those sweet tired eyes, gaze travelling down your body and ending at your spent core, where he notices beads of his white cum running down your cunt. the sight is almost too much for him, poor matty. he bites his bottom lip hard to stifle his whimpers, but somehow gathers enough courage to ask if he can touch you ("sorry sorry sorry i know it's gross. fuuuck. forget i said anythi--" "matty, calm down, baby. my sweet boy, it's okay. you can do it. i want you to.") his mind goes haywire when he brings his thumb to touch you, picking up a bit of his cum which he then rubs on your clit in small, gentle circles. sigh. but yes, cum is involved and you both love it. that's that.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

before you were officially dating, you once left a black shirt at his place, one of your favourites in fact! don't really know the specifics of why or how it happened, but you left it there and he found it. his sensitive soul found it difficult not to immediately grab it and put it against his face to smell your lingering scent. but it didn’t take long for his horny mind to take over and wrap the piece of cloth around his cock and get himself off. before he realized what he was doing, he had already stained your shirt and the shame he felt was unreal to the point where he could not look you in the eye next time you saw each other. “oh, btw, i think i left my top at yours. do you think you can bright it next time?” his face had never been more red in his entire life lol. it wasn’t until you were together that he confessed to it when you were playing an nsfw version of truth n dare in your living room because you were both drunk as fuck.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

okay. so believe or not, this matty doesn't really do hookups. he's in a famous band, yeah, but he's not really looking to get off with people just for one night. he will only do it if he feels a spark with someone on some level other than physical attraction, but he prefers the intimacy and closeness that comes with a relationship. because of this, he hasn't had too many different sexual partners, but during those few relationships he worshipped his other half and did everything he could to learn every single little thing about how to please her in the best way possible. it takes him time to get there with every gf, but once he knows what you like, you will never be dissatisfied. tl:dr not too much experience when it comes to body count, but will excel A++++ all around with the partner he's currently with.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

without a doubt, you riding him while he’s sitting up. can be on the sofa, your favourite dining chair, the edge of your bed (his preferred place), the back of the tour bus, you name it. this man loves close skin-to-skin sweaty contact. he is eager to keep you near when you grind yourself on him, one arm tight around your mid back, the palm of the other gripping your ass, guiding your hips back n forth. this way he can also keep kissing your face, neck and shoulders whenever he wants to and feel your tits against his chest. it also allows him to look up at you as you bounce up and down his cock, this which might be one of his favourite sights in the entire world, just as if he were worshiping you.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

for the most part the sex is a calm, sensual endeavour, but if something happens like his fingers getting tangled in your hair, him kissing your teeth, you accidentally tickling him, he'll be adorable and smile, letting out a soft laugh. you love that he's vulnerable enough to chuckle at a small mishap rather than him getting frustrated. he's too damn cute. you can barely handle it.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

sweet matty knows you love going down on him (which he thanks his lucky stars is a real thing as he cannot get enough of your lips around him) so he tries to keep himself trimmed down there. you couldn't care less tbh but it's cute and rather hot to see him that invested in thinking of what will be best for you and your pleasure. funny enough, you would've never thought he did so given his current nonchalant way of dressing (baggy clothes, torn band shirts, messy gelled hair). but this boy does like to keep you guessing after all.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he cannot possibly be close enough to you (re. his favourite position being you riding him). you are his world and will hopefully always be, even if he had to wait what felt like a lifetime to finally have you romantically and sexually. both of you prefer slow and sweaty sex whenever possibly, filled with lots of sweet words and love you's and him nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck while you run your fingers through his hair. he's a shy horny romantic at heart.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

our boy here has undoubtedly gotten off at the thought of you many, many times before you get together. whether it is him reminiscing about a certain memory and/or looking at photos of you, he's certainly done it. he's also been caught by adam when he's not-so-silently moaning your name while he's no-so-silently jacking off during tour. but because adam is a sweet soul and understands the hardships of missing the person you love, he doesn't give him too much grief over it (unless matty is getting on his nerves).

now, when you do end up together, there's a time when the two of you are high (you do that a lot), giggly, care-free and the topic of masturbation comes up for some reason. this is when it is confessed that you both had (obviously) gotten off at the thought of each other pre-dating and that ends up turning both of you on to the point where one of you suggests if you can watch each other do it. so that happens and mutual masturbation continues to be thing in your relationship.

and of course, matty still masturbates many times while he's away because you end up sending him short snippets of you pleasuring yourself. so he cannot help himself.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

it’s all about praising. he loves it. you love it. it's a win win situation for both parties involved and it couldn't be more perfect. because he can sometimes get nervous, your praises make him feel at ease. call him a sweet boy (his fav) and you’ll have him at your mercy. on the other hand, if you refer to him as a good boy, he will almost devour you alive.

one summer you were playing fetch with mayhem in the park “aww! who’s a good, sweet boy!?” and for some reason matty started chocking on the coke he was drinking “are you okay?” “yeah yes. cough. ‘s nothing. wrong pipe” “hm, okay if you say so.” five minutes pass and mayhem is cuddling with you while you scratch his ear “such a sweet, pretty baby boy, aren’t you mayhem? yes, of cour—wtf matthew, are you sure you’re alright?” you look back at him as he’s trying to aggressively clean the coke he spat out and landed on the crotch of his pants. after that you notice that he not-so-subtly tries to readjust his baggy jeans ever so often. you get a sneaky suspicion of what might’ve happened, but it isn’t until you are together for a few months that you test out your theory and praise him and he literally comes undone seconds after the words leave your mouth. he’s almost too much <3

l = location (favourite places to do the do)

vanilla answer, but your bed. the fact that he can have you in the place where you sleep just drives him crazy with lust. it's your space. it smells like you. you spend endless hours there resting, facetiming him, watching tv, (as well as pleasing yourself). so yes, your bed is a sacred temple to matty. amen.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

before sex: wear any of his clothes and that's almost a sure way to get him turned on. especially his jumpers and shirts. once upon a time you two + the rest of the band went swimming. after you got tired of everyone cannonballing into the pool (because they're grown men boys), you stepped out and wanted to get out of your wet swimsuit asap because you hate the feeling of wet clothes on your skin. without really thinking, you just grabbed his jeff buckley shirt (i love jeff buckley btw), put it on, and since it is way larger on you that it is on him, you thought "lalalala i'm just gonna remove my swimsuit here since this shirt is roomy and no one will be able to see anything." as you're doing so, george has matty in some sort of headlock (because, again, boys) but as he's struggling to get out of it, his eyes end up in your direction as you're pulling the suit bottoms down. this makes him tense up and freeze in place, so now george has the upper-hand and submerges him underwater. when matty comes back to the surface, he's outta breath, huffing and puffing, and none made easier because (unbeknownst to you) your wet body and swimsuit have made his white jeff buckley shirt see though. and since then he cannot get enough of you wearing anything of his.

during sex: pull on his hair when you're riding him and it's game over. he'll immediately get a goofy toothy grin on his face while bitting his bottom lip and adoringly look at you thru half lidded eyes as if there is nothing better in this life (because of course, nothing compares 2 u).

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

absolutely nothing that could possibly hurt you too seriously. you two eventually get into some harsher tendencies and kinks, but it's always consensual. he'd never forgive himself if he caused you unwanted pain.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he absolutely loves both. he swears there is no better feeling than having your warm mouth around him but he's never too pushy or needy about it. you of course enjoy it too, but the best part about it is just seeing him come undone as he gets loud, sweaty, and shaky which is a sight you'll never grow tired of. and as mentioned on letter b above, he enjoys your cunt A LOT so he'll never miss an opportunity to go down on you. that tongue of his? unreal. but he's definitely noticed that your favourite is when he sucks on your clit so he spends majority of the time doing that. imagine you sitting on the edge of your bed, him shirtless kneeling down with your legs over his shoulders, and his head between your legs while his lips are wrapped around you, gently sucking and licking while you gently pull on his hair and tell him he's your sweet boy. it's heaven for the both of you.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

more often than not, it’s slow and sensual as that’s something that both of you really enjoy. from one romantic to another, you cannot get enough of the passionate sex.

HOWEVER, fast and rough comes into play whenever he gets jealous as he cannot help himself. but it's not in a hard, mean dom type of way. more in a "i'm all yours. i want to make you feel so damn good and please you so you don't look at anyone else. please do anything you want with me" type of way. the first time he ever wants to have rough sex, he acts all shy and nervous when asking you if it's okay as it's not his norm. but you're there to guide him through and make it easy for him. <3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not really your or his thing, tbh. reason being that if you have sex, it never ends up being quick. you'd much rather be late to the event or appointment than to rush it. the amount of times he's been late to soundcheck is alarming, but it's not like they can kick him out of the band, right? one time when he walks into the rehearsal, flustered and with hair all over the place, he sees george about to mock him but matty beats him to the punch. "before you even fucking start, yes, i was having sex before this. yes, it was amazing. yes, i know i'm late again. that's it. i'm sorry. let's carry on." but the thing is that a sexually satisfied matty = amazing gigs, so the others cannot fault him.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he’s down to try anything but only if you discuss it first so both of you are comfortable. again, he may look and act shy most of the time (especially with people he doesn't know too well) but he's known you for years so he's super comfy with you, thus he's game to do anything which might bring you pleasure as long as he doesn't seriously hurt you (as mentioned in letter n) because he wouldn't be able to deal with causing you any sort of lasting pain.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

tbh one of the other main reasons he goes to the gym (see letter x) is so he can last longer for you. you both have insatiable sex drives (see letter y) so he wants to keep fit in order to try and fulfill any and all desires you might have. once you get together, it's no secret to any of your friends that you have a VERY active sex life that they can only dream of and matty loves to remind them that they’re just jealous when they do make fun of him for it. he’s cute.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he didn’t think much about them at first UNTIL that one night he was over at your place and opened up your bedside drawer, hehehe. so hear me out... our boy loves getting high (especially with you) so he asked if you had any weed as he very surprisingly (i know, i'm shocked, too) forgot his own. you just looked at him with wide eyes like “whoa, wait. you forgot? are you okay?” while you jokingly felt his forehead to see if he was ill. he gently swatted your hand away and squinted in mock annoyance, “fuck off... but really, do you have any?” :insert big brown caramel puppy eyes: you motioned over to your bedroom and told him that your stash was in the drawer of your bedside table. he struts over, nonchalantly, humming a tune that’s been stuck in his head since that morning because you’d been listening to it nonstop. he gets to your room, stares at your comfy bed wishing he could sleep with you, in both senses of the word, because he's head over heels for you. he'd do anything and everything you'd ask him faster than the words could even leave your mouth. he sighs, knowing that couldn't happen because you weren't his gf :( anyway, he bends over to open the top drawer of your left bedside table and start shuffling around to find nothing but books, notebooks, photos (including one of him napping, awe). he moves on to the second drawer to find a black lidded box which he opens and to his surprise (or dismay) finds your toys which causes him to almost drop the box altogether. his eyes gaze over each of the vibrators and other small devices in there and he cannot help but think of you using them on yourself. siiiiiiiiigh. a "did you find it, matty?" is screamed by you which causes him to instantly come back down reality. the box is put away and he speed walks out of the room, heading straight for the kitchen to get a glass of water to hopefully rehydrate his desert dry throat after his discovery. "well, did you find it?" "nope, changed my mind. don't want any weed. i'm okay. i'll just drink my water. here. in the kitchen." when in reality he was standing behind the bar so you couldn't see how rock hard he was. fast forward to right before you go to bed that night, you want to get yourself off so you go to find your fav toy when you see that the box is on a weird angle with the lid not fully closed. then it dawns on you why matty had to very abruptly leave that evening.

BUT ANYWAY, after you get together and your enjoyment for toys is out in the open, he loves using them on you which is a huge turn on for you because it shows that the seemingly shy boy is actually super confident when it comes to your sex life together.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

much like the cum play (see letter c), it took a bit for matty to feel comfortable enough to be a tease while you were having sex. he's not too much of a dirty talker (if you haven't noticed yet, he's a sub in this world of mine, sorry) BUT he eventually finds out that you love begin edged. so yeah, he has fun with that, going down on you over and over again until you are screaming.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

poor matty tries to stifle his moans, whimpers, and any other sounds that come out of his mouth but it doesn't work well for him as he always ends up being the loudest out of the two of you. this is another thing his bandmates always tease him about, as they can always hear when he's getting off on the tour bus or having sex with you in another room. and this is another instance where he reminds his mates that they're just jealous because of his amazing sex life.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

remember how i said i have a type and he's a chain wearing matty? well, once you both start having sex, he very quickly finds out you fucking love pulling on that chain to bring him closer to you. he also notices how you tend to kiss around the area where in sits around his neck. your obsession about it becomes 100% confirmed when he sees that the background of your phone is a photo of him shirtless but still wearing that silver chain. so he knows that he always has to wear it, a quiet sign that you control him. but one morning after his shower, he comes running to the living room, huffing and puffing that he cannot find his necklace until he looks at you. you just smirk and wink at him when he sees the chain around you. oh, he doesn't know what he's in for.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he once heard you say how you were starting to find "more conventional, muscular men" attractive so he took this as his cue to immediately look up the number of the best and closest personal trainer he could hire. fast forward six months and you're at his flat, drinking and listening to music with the band. who knows what happens (probably george's fault) but matty ends up spilling his glass of wine all over his shirt. UGH. "fuck me. it's embarrassing how many clothing items i've ruined 'cause of this expensive habit." you laugh loudly at him, obviously, but karma gets you once he takes off his ruined top so he's just standing there in his dangerously low rise grey joggers. that shuts you up as you just stare at the muscles on his back and the mostly defined v shape above his crotch. matty leaves the room to get a clean shirt without noticing you basically drooling over him. however, perceptive handsome ross does pick up on the vibes and teases you for the remainder of the evening.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

high. higher than anyone you've ever been with and you're thankful for it. albeit it is PAINFUL when he's away on tour for months at a time, especially when you cannot go and see him :( no matter how many photos or videos you send each other, it's never enough to satiate you desire to have him close to you. the only silver lining is when you both do end up back together, as you both know you won't be sleeping that night and won't be going anywhere else the day after.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

once the soft making out session is done (see letter a), he's gone. he's a sleeper. he's a napper. he's the big spoon and holds you close, lazily kissing the back of your neck before he settles himself against it. again, he's all about that close contact, gotta love him. but give him 3 minutes MAX and he'll be out. a tired boy has to rest, i guess <3

--------

ALRIGHT. that's enough for me rambling. not sure if anyone will see this but my mind feels about 12% lighter for now. until the next brain rot takes over.

if you happened to make it this far, you're a gem. thank you. you're the best. and i'm always free to talk about this man and smutty thoughts about him!

[odo-apologist]

Thinking about Out of Time, specifically the ending, which, in my opinion, is one of the best Rimmer scenes of the franchise. It's one of those moments- like his sacrifice for Nirvannah in Holoship or his insistence that Lister burn his soldiers in Marooned as a gesture of friendship- that hint at the potential that he has, deep down, of being noble, heroic, kind. What's particularly interesting about this scene, though, is that up to this point, Rimmer has often been shown as having a fascination with power, with militarism and fascist aesthetics. This is among his worst, most dangerous traits. You see the extreme outcome of it in Meltdown, what I think is Rimmer at his most abhorrent; he is the cause of the death of an entire group of people all because he wanted to live out his power fantasy of being a strategic military general, watching the battle at a distance like he describes in Marooned. Of course, as others have pointed out in their own posts, Rimmer's desire for/adoration of power likely comes more from his desire to be loved and prove he's deserving of love, but its consequences can be horrific. In Out of Time, when he encounters a version of himself that is an *actual* fascist sympathizer/apologist, he is disgusted. He is the one who wants to fight and who says, "Better dead than smeg." Whereas his future self says he would rather die than live like rats as the present crew do, our Rimmer would rather die fighting than live a life of ease and comfort while rubbing shoulders with bloodthirsty, power-crazed dictators.

And I think it's really interesting that the episode before this one is Rimmerworld. The aspect I often think about (that I wouldn't be surprised a lot of other fans also often think about) is Rimmer's 550+ years of imprisonment. It's such a disturbing concept, being kept in solitude for that inconceivably long, that its apparent dismissive treatment as a joke and lack of any real impact on Rimmer haunts me a little bit and I'm glad there are a few fics out there that explore the aftermath more thoroughly. But before he ends up in that situation, he 1. Abandons the others- the seemingly only people who have ever come close to caring about him- to die, leaving them to flee in an escape pod, and 2. Creates a civilization of clones of himself that he clearly bases off of the Roman Empire (a notable inspiration for many fascists). The first is significant because it shows the contrast between his cowardice in that situation and his lack of it in Out of Time. But the second point here, about the creation of his civilization, may show why that contrast happens between episodes, the reason for it. The civilization of Rimmerworld, based on an obsession with power, inspired by what we can assume is Rimmer's own idealized view of the Romans and empire in general, is the same that causes his centuries of suffering. So the next episode, when he sees another version of himself willing to get along with the kind of people like those who imprisoned him (who, albeit, were also versions of him)...I don't know, maybe the events of Rimmerworld did have some notable effect on him after all, at least for a while; maybe that's why he was so sure in his decision that the crew fight even though he knows they'll die trying.

Or maybe I'm just being ridiculous and overthinking things

[jfleamont]

Lily trying to explain her crush on James to the girls