#lol ok i need to take a break this is... this has taken a lot out of me

[14dayswithyou]

Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!

So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol

If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^

ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol

-does he know how to give massages? :00

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?

(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao

ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)

✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™? Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰 Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3

Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!

-does he know how to give massages? :00 If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name? Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl) aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈 You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100% I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!

[blorbocedes]

let me take you guys on a journey. one that will help you understand how annoyingly obsessive and hung up my brain can get......

so here is where our wild goose chase starts. I was going through a 2012 f1 blog's nico tag. it's actually pretty rare for early 2010s blogs to have comprehensive tagging systems so whenever I find one I try to go thru it all. and I come across this v cute nico image (cropped for posterity. payoff will be worth it promise)

here we have a picture, from 2012, and in classic 2012 fashion there is meme text on it. OP of the original pic deactivated. so I want to find the version without the meme text. pretty easy, just reverse google search right?

WRONG!

google reverse search is functionally dead and defunct and absolutely dogshit.

ok back to square one. I'm trying to sus out from whatever information I have.

the other meme watermark of f1humour.tumblr.com? deactivated.

okay 37 notes. maybe I can do something with this.

tumblr kind of breaks (?) with very old posts. so even if someone tagged it, I can't see it. ok but 14 people liked it!

of the 14 accounts only 7 actually show, including mine. so what I do is I go through 6 of those blogs, and their public archives because those accounts are all inactive for several YEARS now. and I check their blogs for April 2012.

no luck.

back to the drawing board.

the meme has a MOTORSPORT.COM watermark.

here's all the information I have: this was posted on April 24th, 2012, which means that's my upper limit on the date this could be taken. Nico got in Mercedes in 2010. So from anywhere between 2010-2012 motorsport images couldve taken this pic.

so, because I was born with excessive intelligence, I think hmmm... let me search the archives of Motorsport Images dot com. surely that is where Motorsport dot com would keep their Images.

two years of a racing driver's pictures means thousands of pictures. okay. let's start from April 2012. unfortch for keen eyed listening, April 2012 was also the Chinese Grand Prix aka Nico's first f1 win.

why is that relevant? because it means every photographer and their MOTHER took a picture of nico for his first win. over 900+ images.

while I am exhibiting extremely unemployed levels of behavior here, I don't actually have the time and brain capacity to sift through 900 images.

I go back to the original tumblr post. this time I go to the empty reblogs. there's lots!

but because there's no tags it can't help me. still I go through every one of them because you can see the blog I found the pic from @the-fastest-waffle is listed in the other reblogs even though they clearly had tags!

and I find my silver lining. from @fuckyeahf1drivers's tags

just this simple. #bahrain #lol

if this picture is from bahrain 2012 it changes everything, as in it narrows my search a shit tonne.

375 images. This means 1-15 pages and I know the exact picture I'm looking for. I feel like I'm SO close. I can't give up now. gambler mentality 💎

so I guess what. I go through all 15 goddamn pages. and I DONT FIND IT!!!!!!!!! SCREEEEEECH

now I've lost hope. if it's not from bahrain 2012 then it can be from anywhere from 2010-2012 taken by motorsport.com which is just too big a search. there isn't anything I can narrow it down with. my search is futile.

but I have one tiny little thought bugging my mind. how come motorsport images don't have the motorsport.com watermark... so I consult a fellow archivist @vegasgrandprix on the matter.

WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO ADDRESS WHY MOTORSPORT.COM AND MOTORSPORT IMAGES.COM HAVE THE SAME FONT

finally. finally

I go on motorsport.com

which is actually kind of not super user friendly interface finding their pics if you have excessive intelligence like I do. I go into this knowing if the bahrain 2012 long shot is actually NOT when that picture is from, I'm fucked.

I filter and say a prayer.

and lo and behold.

salvation.

one person's singular tag of 'bahrain 2012 lol' led me down this spiral, where if it wasn't for that bit of information this would be lost forever because finding the version of the pic without the meme text is otherwise near impossible. google reverse search is no help, and f1 drivers simply get photographed way too much. reblogs + tags with context literally are a holy grail. this is what I imagine archaeologists feel like. so if you ever want someone 12 years after you've posted something to go down finding out, tag your posts accordingly (assuming tumblr survives the next decade)

so why did I do it? why did I spend hours of my life on this? cause it's fun. it's like a mystery and it itches at my skin. many times I'm not successful which is why the times I am feels so rewarding because it feels almost like detective work, finding and refinding something, overturning evidence. and I have a brain that just functions Like This.

and now for the fruit of my labour, if you guys still want to see. the picture I spent hours to find the original version of. sitting proudly at the time of posting at 9 notes 😌😌 here's what goes behind actually finding and archiving 2010s retired f1 drivers online. click below!

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[prettypinkporkchop]

Can u do a Seth x lahote sister where everyone thinks he’s innocent and that’s why Paul is ok with him dating his little sister but they get caught by everyone one by one but Paul in a different situation with Seth being a little freaky so Paul and Leah argue saying the other corrupted their sibling lol

This is after breaking dawn part 2!

Also, completely out of my comfort zone lol. I gave this a try. I do write some spicy stuff but not in this much detail or like thisssss lol. So I hope you enjoy it!!!!

You jump on the washing machine at Leah's house, waiting for Seth to come back. "So, you're saying that Seth has never?.." You watch as she pulls clothes from the dryer into the basket. "Nope!" She laughs. "Well, damn! I regret the things I've done in high school. Or.. people I've done." You awkwardly laugh. She shrugs and just the dryer. "Hey, we've all made mistakes. Don't feel guilty! Seth is the one for you, and you know that. That's all that matters." She smiles and then walks out of the laundry room. You follow her, going into the living room and plopping down on the couch.

Seth walks through the door and instantly smiles at your face. "Baby!" You call out and wrap him into a hug. He hugs you back, kissing your cheek. "My sweet, sweet girl." He says. Leah fake gags. "I can't believe my little brother imprinted before me." She says. "Hey, don't hate. It took waiting, Leah." He laughs.

At your house, you and Paul live together. It's just you two, but Seth spends a lot of time there. Paul really doesn't care because he's up Rachel's ass too. In fact, they are looking for a house together. Paul is giving you and Seth this house.

Seth is sitting on your bed, eating some gummies. You walk in your room from the shower. Your hair is wet, your body is soft and covered with shorts, and a small shirt. Seth looks up at you and blushes. You've never asked Seth to do anything. You've been waiting for him. He's the virgin. He's the innocent guy. Even though he's twenty, the guy has waited for his imprint for even a simple kiss, which you've taken already.

You sit next to him, and he watches you slowly. He looks back down at his snack, closes the bag, sets it on your dresser, and then steps in front of you. You look up at him, playing with your blanket nervously with your fingers. He wraps his fingers under your hair on the back of your neck. He slightly tugs your head back, and it startles you. The way he's looking at you is sending you into the stars. "May I?" He smirks. What has gotten into him?! You nod your head quickly. You will NOT pass up this opportunity.

His lips crash onto yours. His fingers dip into the band of your shorts, slowly pulling them down. Once they are off, he pulls away, sitting on the end of the bed, grabbing your waist and pulling you down. His fingers bury into your waist. Your body is pulled down, so he's right on top of you. His eyes are telling you everything you need to know. "Are you nervous, Seth?" You ask. "Nope. Because I love you." He takes his shirt off, showing his hot body. "I bet I can do better than the others." He smirks. You know he will. But you are getting butterflies. This side of him is new!

Now, you are both fully naked. He's leaving kisses on your inner thighs, biting down softly in certain spots. His fingers begin to work, and you're already a moaning mess.

---------------

Paul and Rachel step inside the house. Paul sniffs a bit, and then his eyes go wide. "Ain't no fucking way." He laughs. Rachel looks at him confused before your loud moans are heard through the house. Rachel jumps and puts a hand on her chest. "Sounds like he's doing good. Alright, let's go." She says, grabbing Paul's wrist. "That's disgusting. Seth is taking away her innocence." Paul laughs, leaving the house.

----------

You walk through the forest with Seth. You guys are having a little stroll for fun. You're following him while he has his arm behind him, holding your hand. You see his muscles with every step he takes. The veins go through his arms and hand. You stop walking, which makes him stop. He slowly turns to you. "You're so beautiful." You smile at him. He smiles, looking down, before turning his body to yours. His hands cup your face, and he leans in to kiss you.

Ever since the first time, it's been almost every day. Any chance this boy gets, he will do it. He's addicted to you, and you're addicted to him.

You kiss him back, not expecting a thing until you feel him on your thigh. You giggle and pull back. His hands grab your ass roughly, and he pulls you into him. "Ever done it outside?" He smirks. You shake your head no. "Plus, maybe we should head back. I know Kim,-" his lips stop you from speaking. "Tell me no if you don't want me right now." He mumbles on your lips. You definitely do want him. Outside is a completely new game to you. This boy gets kinkier and kinkier every time. His favorite thing to do is pull your hair and choke you.

After you don't say no and keep kissing him, he pushes you against a tree. He grabs the top of your neck near your chin, pushing your head up. His lips touch your neck, then his tongue, then his teeth. He pulls back after seeing the purple bruise forming. You're looking up at him, wanting more. He sees and understands what you want.

Clothes are off, your knees are on the grass, and he's behind you.

------

Jared and Embry are trying to find y/n and Seth! Everyone's been waiting for them to get back. "I can smell them. We're getting closer." Jared says. Everyone thinks something happened, especially after the whole Renesmee situation with the volturi. Everyone is on edge about what could happen next.

But then, the two boys stop.

------

"Guys, I think they're okay." Embry tells everyone with fear in his eyes.

------

You wake up next to your sleeping Seth. You run your fingers over his back as he stays snoozing. You roll over on his bed to check your phone. Nothing. Lol, miss unpopular. You roll over, which wakes up Seth. "I love you, beautiful." He smiles, softly touching your face. "I love you too, my handsome." You reply. "Don't you have to patrol today?" You ask with sadness. He nods and kisses your forehead. "Unfortunately." He says. "We haven't had much alone time the last couple of days." You point out to him. "We've got this morning." He smiles, looking into your eyes. "Love me like it's our last time." You whisper.

-----

Leah wakes up to loud banging on the wall and whimpers. "God damn it!" She puts a pillow over her face. She knows exactly what's going on. "It's y/n's fault!" She laughs and picks up her phone to tell Paul.

-----

Paul, Leah, Embry, Quil, Jacob, Jared, and Sam are arguing while doing yard work.

"Naw, naw! Y/n didn't even know about imprinting! She's had how many boyfriends?" Quil looks over at Paul, who's rolling his eyes. "Guys, does it even matter?" Sam sighs. "No! That's not the point! The point is Seth is NOT innocent anymore, and it's either himself or y/n. We are placing bets." Jared replies to a grumbling Sam. "Isn't there more important stuff to do?" Sam says. "Seth should be here helping us." Leah smirks, looking at Paul. "But he's got y/n latched into his skin." She giggles. "Seth is a guy! Of course, he's seen porn. Poor guy didn't conjure this up himself!" Paul fights back. "Yeah, because y/n did." She laughs. "Subject should be changed now." Sam says. "Fine. Fine." Paul raises his hands up in defense. "I wonder what Seth's like in bed." Quil whispers to Embry. "UGH!" Everyone says to Quil. He looks around awkwardly. "Well?!"

--------

Seth's belt wrapped around your wrists, holding your arms up, is starting to burn as his body moves yours from pushing. Your eyes are watering, and your throat is so dry from his shirt being there and tied to the back of your head.

-------

Paul has his earbuds in, cleaning around the kitchen. To him, y/n and Seth are gone at Leah's. He doesn't keep up with them often. He finds y/n's hairbrush on the dining table. He picks it up and goes to her bedroom. He opens the door and....

------

"Your brother is a menace!" Paul yells at Leah. "That's actually disturbing." Leah says with a disgusted face. "Still think it's my sister?!" He asks. "Okay, maybe it's both of them. Either way, it's time for them to get their own damn place. This is ridiculous. It's genuinely starting to annoy me." Leah chuckles. "Yeah, me and Rachel don't even .... well...." Paul stops his sentence. "Yeah! Yeah! I know you were finna lie buddy." Leah laughs.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) I realized last review forgot to mention with it being the 100th ep that I hit quite a milestone myself. It was my 100th review. Unreal and proud of myself for doing 100 of these. Now it's my 101st with this one. They’re hard work but enjoy doing them so much.

Love the responses these have gotten. So Thank you to everyone who's commented, liked or reblogged any of these 100 you are amazing. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. This episode is adorable for so many reasons lots of good Chenford nuggets in here and lots of John/Bailey moments I can fast forward LOL Let us get started.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

We start with some GLORIOUS domestic Chenford. I mean legit glorious. Tim with his early morning scratchy voice. Leaning against that door frame like the delicious sight he is. Also let’s not by-pass the scruff. It's littered all over that sexy jawline of his. Mmm. Take me now sir. Anyways....To top it off he’s in his jam jams I love this. He asks her if she slept at all? Lucy telling him she’ll sleep when she’s taken the exam and gotten detective.

Tim scoffing knowing she’s not sleeping then either LOL I mean he’s not wrong…He’s so damn supportive as he listens in as she explains what she’s prepared on. The way he just nods along and listens to her vent. Every woman’s dream Tim Bradford every woman's. Checking in to test the temperature of her neuroses today heh I love him for it. He just wants to love her through this so much. It makes my heart so happy.

Lucy explains how it’s the oral portion that’s keeping her up at night. It would be keeping me up too honestly. Especially with how subjective it is. Also like to note how unfair it is how friggin pretty Lucy looks in the morning. Wish I could look that good ha. Tim asking if she still thinks Primm is out to get her? Then explains her cookie debacle. How she brought him some homemade ones and he just tossed them. I mean that's pretty damn rude....What a schmuck.

I relate to Lucy’s anxiety so much. Because I am her when I am very stressed and anxious. I get hyper focused and can’t relax. Won’t let myself do anything till that’s done. Tim once again does his damndest to calm her, support her and reassure her it’ll be ok. The man deserves a gold star for how amazing he is eps 1-4 truly. He is 10/10 incredible for her. Her legit support system through out this whole thing.

The way he tries to take her highlighter cracks me up. Gently placing his hands over hers and pulls. She holds onto it for dear life though so he gives up. lol Tim tries a different tactic. He tells her she can over-prepare. Which is true. I’ve lived this life. BUT when you are this stressed/anxious that ain’t coming through. Her reply cracks me up. ‘No, that is an idea that lazy people created.’ LMAO This made me laugh so hard cause I would say something to this effect.

Tim does a Hail Mary of logic in this last portion. Telling her she’s gonna get in her head, how she just needs to trust herself and then let it go. His smile is so pure and sweet. Truly thinking he’s gotten through to his girl finally. The way she nods. Then Lucy instantly walks it back ‘ Yeah, I don’t think I can do that.’ I’m rolling. Oh Lucy I do get you girl. Least she’s honest with her man ahha

Tim knows when to tap out and does as such. With a frustrated groan he gets up. Knowing he’s not gonna break her study spell. Noting he’s gonna go take a shower then. Little does he know the prospect of him wet and naked is enough to break it. Lucy is surprised at his sudden departure. Asking if he means right now? He’s so over the convo just gives her a ‘Yeah.’ Wiping his hands of this situation for the moment.

Lucy lust's after him as he walks away from her. The thought of Tim being her break is far more enticing than a normal break. Mmm don’t blame you girl. I would be using that man for all kinds of stress relief if I was you... Lucy finally gets up and follows her man to the shower. For a much needed break. I love the continuity of their shower sex LOL It’s bloody fantastic and we’re all here for it. I saw a great post that said ‘If only 5x01 Tim could see himself now.’ He would lose his friggin mind.

Getting all the shower sex and shower time he wants with Lucy now. She seeks him out for it and vice versa. Gah so good. The writers sure know how to take care of us. Especially with moments like this. D wrote a fantastic fic about this moment. Highly encourage you to read it. Also saw a great tag for this as well. It was their head canon he did that on purpose to get her to unwind with him. Sold! LOL I love this fandom and how it thinks.

We get to see Tim back in T.O mode and it revs my engine everyone. hahaha It just does especially after not seeing it for awhile. Tim standing there looking criminally delicious in one of my fav poses. Arms crossed, biceps bulging, and forearms front and center. Hot damn he’s such a sight.

Celina is being reprimanded for her behavior at the wedding. Because honestly it was concerning to say the least. With Nolan out and Harper needing to get back to the detective squad Tim is taking over. Lucy catches his eye and he knows she’s up to something. I love his expression. He knows he needs to see what is going on. He barks orders at Celina to get war bags ready before he goes to check on his girl.

Lucy going to Smitty has to be one of the most hysterical things. Tim literally just told her to cool it for her sanity. What does she do? Go to friggin Smitty. I’m dying. Thinking it won’t get back to Tim. Your husband done found out already dear. ha I do love the tip Smitty gives her on how Primm loves dogs. Such a Melissa detail there. Appealing to the animal lover in her. Tim interrupts their impromptu study session. This scene is comedy gold. Always is with Smitty. Dude isn’t in the show a ton but when he is. Man delivers haha

Tim can’t believe she’s gone to Smitty to study of all people. It is hilarious how offended he is when Lucy says ‘Is he even really helping her?’ Like damn that's ice cold Lucy. Man was just giving you valuable intel lol Tim corralling his girlfriend into his shift for the day is everything. Once again kudos to our man for doing his best for her. Trying to get an obsessive perfectionist to chill is quite the battle to take on. Not only chill but focus on something eIse entirely isn't easy.

I would know I am her and I feel bad for my friends when I get like this. heh. Tim riding the line between BF and Sergeant in front of Smitty is fantastic. She’s like a toddler right now and he’s continuously trying to keep her from the outlets. The parameters he puts down for both Celina and her crack me up. Still got that T.O bark in him for her. The way his eyes follow her out. *dreamy sigh* That BF side coming back out there. Smitty's comment snaps him out of it though. Too funny.

S7. Imma need more of this trio right here. On and off work. It’s such a good one right off the bat. Celina rambling nervously while Lucy enjoys herself in the back. You know she loves watching him in T.O. mode. Just like the rest of us. We also get the delicious eargasm of him saying ‘Juarez’ with that that sexy inflection of his. If it seems like I’m extra feral this ep for him it's because I am LOL No point in fighting it. I am who I am.

Lucy brings up Aaron and Tim is instantly annoyed. That convo doesn't last more than 20 seconds. Tim pulls the car over immediately jolting them both. Telling them both to get out of the car. Ahh S1 Tim trying to make an appearance. Lucy isn’t phased in the least. Because no matter what she knows soft Tim. Also just had her way with him this morning. She ain’t scared ha Their amazing dynamic never ceases to amaze me. Lucy concedes and says they can just talk at lunch...

I do love them Co-T.O’ing Celina in this one. Perfect mixture of hug and smack really. They respond to a guy who claims to have ‘amnesia’ Tim isn’t buying it in the least cause well it's Tim. They make it to the hospital to interview this man. Tim could not be more over this man and his BS if he tried.

His face while this guy prattles on is priceless. Eric out here killing it once again with his facial expressions. Let’s not forget the ZERO amount of personal space per usual with them. Always delights me paired with the height difference? I’m a happy girl. They are once again the epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine here.

No one does it better than our ship. They reconvene in the hallway to discuss how they wanna proceed. They’re so deep into their chat they don’t realize Celina isn’t there. LMAO Her looking around for them after they’ve left is so funny. Giving me 5x17 flashbacks where they kept losing the kid. Except it's their rookie which isn't much better.

Tim yelling out ‘Boot!’ Mmm yes sir. Celina running over to meet up with Tim and Lucy. He continues his gruff T.O. act with her. Telling her he's about the hang a bell around her neck cause he keeps losing her. Oh Timothy. I adore how Lucy looks at Tim while he’s in this mode. Nothing but love eyes emanating from her. You are at work madam. Reign it in it. Actually don't I love it. I would say this portion is indicative of their future parenting styles. But we all know that man is gonna be a softie to their kid(s)

Because he didn’t get to have that. Lucy is going to have to be the one to lay down the law, funny enough. Especially if they have a girl. Lord help Tim. A mini Lucy running around? Man will be a goner... I do adore Lucy jumping in and saving Celina. Because she would’ve loved that herself as a rookie. Lucy’s T.O teaching style is very in line with me as a leader. As we were see in a future ep with her and Celina. She was denied praise so she wants to give what she was denied herself. Exactly how I am as a leader.

Wanted to give everything to my people that I never got. I adore this trio so much. Very mom/dad and their kid. I love Lucy giving Tim crap for not giving her a little praise. Also Lucy defending why she let Celina just go is the best. It is everything I explained above. Tim was of course is adverse to this idea. Trying to keep that hard T.O exterior going. Lucy not backing down asking 'Have I not softened you at all?' LOL You have my dear, but that is exclusive to you and only you. On and especially off work.

We get early morning domestic Chenford x2 in this ep. I’m eating it up. D and I have had this convo about how creepy John/Bailey are with waking up the other. How they’re just sitting like a weirdo till the other wakes up at the end of the bed. It’s not sweet or romantic in the least. It’s off putting lmao Whereas this moment it’s very sweet and intimate. The way Lucy rolls over and he is the first thing she sees. *happy sigh* What a way to wake up.

Look at how that man is looking at her. Tim is head over heels for her and not hiding it at all. It's exuding out of his delicious form as he gazes down at her. I’m not well guys. I’m not well. This is so precious I cannot. Just standing there. Getting ready for the day while he let's his girl catches some much needed extra z’s. Imma implode with how cute this all is. Getting ship drunk over here and loving it.

We can see how soft this man is for her. Right after she just asked the night before if she had softened him at all? Yes Lucy. Very much so. Tim is legit putty in your hands. Never seen this man as happy as he is with her. Second gif is all the proof I need. Also there is something so sexy about the way he rolls out his cuff. Why is this so attractive? I was already feral enough in this ep ahha Look at that man above. Getting ready in his delicious black shirt like he doesn't know he's an absolute snack.

We also get a nice shot of his chest as he buttons up. Hot damn this man is so beautiful. I’m a legit puddle of attraction *fans self*. After Lucy is done gazing at her beautiful BF she realizes she has slept in. Pops up in an instant panic. Tim replying calmly she needed it. Not phased at all by her reaction. What a good man taking care of her like this.

Seriously he was in the running for BF of the year at this point. Tim tells her to take the morning off. You know it's killing him to watch her drive herself into the ground like this. He had to do something. And if a little more sleep was what he could control then so be it. It’s what he was going to make sure happened.

I love how he asks her 'Don’t you feel better?' It's his soft tone that has me melting. Does me in. Lucy concedes immediately saying that she does. So thankful for this man. Thankful for how he takes care of her without even asking. I love them so much. Also there is nothing like sleeping in after lots of sleep debt piles up. Lucy was due for it and Tim made sure she cashed in.

I adore the way she thanks him for looking out for her like this. It’s very sweet and loving. Heart eyes galore. Now the big ass smile on Tim's face after she says that. *chef kiss* My god that man is so happy to have finally gotten a victory with her. That smile has me reeling basically saying 'You’re welcome, my love.’ He then continues to get ready for the day knowing his girl is happy and rested.

Unfortunately the happy morning bubble doesn’t last for long after this. Lucy gets a text saying her test is ASAP. Which beyond sucks and just another mind game from Primm. Because we all know he makes her wait till dead last. 20 minutes my ass you SOB. I hate it sfm how he makes her wait that long only to destroy her in her oral exam. *grumble*

Honestly makes my stomach turn watching her in that oral exam. I can’t stand to watch it but must for this review. I hate her having to defend her mistake from 6x01. That shouldn’t define what an exemplary career she’s had. To this point she’s been stellar and nothing short of extraordinary. Hurts my heart to watch this scene go down. Also angers me and makes me wanna meet Primm in a dark ally with no witnesses…. Grey looks upset af when he posts the exam rankings. When she reads her results. 17th….

Gah this scene absolutely gutted me the first time. That has not changed during this rewatch. The music paired with Melissa’s outstanding acting got me all in my feels. Holy hell it's like getting the wind knocked out of you watching her devastation. How she tells Grey she’s going to die on that list. Ugh. My heart. Getting punished for taking care of Tim when he needed her. Makes me so mad I wanna throat punch Primm. Grey isn’t much comfort but that is a Tim job. It’s a rough rough scene everyone. Hard to stomach.

When Nolan damn near gets everything handed to him. She has to fight and claw for everything. Then still gets this steaming pile of crap. I hate this for our girl I really do.I truly hope we get to have a hard look at where she goes in S7. This needs to be delved into and wrapped up all in one. Our girl needs a path and a purpose. I truly think T.O. Is the calling she never expected it. Be interesting to see what they do in the next season for her following this. T.O. or not. But if she's a T.O. Tim will be her equal and not her superior for when they get back together. But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

We get domestic Chenford part 3 and it’s the best part of all. So much to love about this scene it’s crazy. The soft Tim we all know and love is ever present in this scene. Also, his partner, supportive Tim, is crushing a performance in this segment as well. It’s beyond adorable from end to end. Just what we needed after that devastating scene before. It does our shipper hearts real good.

Lucy is pouring them some wine for their night in. Cause clearly they’re not going out. She wants to hide away with her man. I do not blame her one bit. Telling Tim she can’t believe she came in 17th… That it’s almost worse than coming in last. I would be feeling the same. Tapping into her childhood a bit and the failures she feels from there.

Not only that, but I’m sure the voice in the back of her head, that sounds like her mom, is voicing the same things. About her choosing this career and life. It’s a good thing Tim is there to quell and silence all those voices. He tells her there is no prize for coming in last. BUT there is one for coming in 17th. Haha Tim then reaches over and pulls out the award he got her.

Look at the smile on that goober. He couldn’t be prouder of himself if he tried. Lucy looks throughly confused until she realizes he’s altered the trophy to ‘17st’ LMFAO. I love this man so much. As does Lucy as she grabs the trophy from him. Realizing what he's done. So many reasons to love this moment.

Lucy stated in 3x03 how much she loves trophies. Tim remembered this and got her one. My damn heart. Not only that the man was so sure she would be #1 he bought it beforehand. Lucy Chen’s number supporter right there. Front and center people. Lucy’s smile is everything. Tim is beaming because she is. Look at him in that second gif. He is smiling ear to ear. All he wanted was to make his girl smile and laugh. Check and check. Well done sir.

Tim truly was so damn thoughtful and precious through out this scene. A+ boyfriend right here folks. A damn plus. Man is soft as butter for her. We all love it. Lucy’s energy has immediately changed thanks to the man next to her. Not only does her tune change she matches his mood. Throwing back a joke of her own. Saying how she gonna have to set her sights on a different future. Then mentions Metro to get a rise out of him.

His reaction is HILARIOUS. He wasn’t ready for the joke she sent his way. Completely unprepared with a good answer. Also the stress it would bring him if she actually did. They know they work well together. That is not the problem. It’s the immense and increased danger she would be in. That’s what would give him a legit heart attack everyday. Lucy Chen has once again broken this man's brain. Gotta be a record at this point heh.

Lucy could not be cuter when she tells him she’s kidding. Her whole body bouncing with laughter. That adorableness that only Melissa can conjure and convey. It’s beyond precious. Tim with his weak. ‘I …I knew that.’ Lucy basically following it up with an ‘Ok babe…’ Whatever you say my love. LOL Not believing him even a little bit. They are so cute and sweet I’m diabetic.

Lucy then looks back down at the trophy he got her. Asking him if he really thought she was going to come in first? That self doubt and lack of confidence creeping back in. She truly needs to know and hear it from him. Needs that reassurance he believes in her. Because just like Tim’s needs her opinion of him to be high. Lucy needs to know Tim believes in her. Tim doesn’t miss a beat with his reply.

The sweet smile going along with it. He’s loves her so much. Is so damn proud of her. It just flows out of him. Wasn’t a doubt in his mind she was capable of being #1. He’s seen her defy the odds so many times. Was front row to every victory and loss that’s shaped her as a cop. He’s watched her become this confident bad ass. Overcoming insane and traumatic things only to come out stronger. Knows she’s a strong test taker. To him was a no brainer she would crush this thing and then some.

Lucy hears all that in his tone and reply. Sadly she doesn't take this as a positive. But a failure on her part. She starts to fall back into her previous mood. Feeling like she let her most important person down. Those insecurities rushing back and she is beating herself up. It’s the way she stares down at first. Then locks eyes with him letting him know she’s sorry. Sorry she’s disappointed him. I saw someone made a 1x12 parallel to this line that kinda hurt my heart a bit. And once again it's something I can relate to cause I’m the same. He is just so damn supportive and cares so so much. That it comes off as high standards.

Ones that people feel like they're going to fail to achieve. When really it's just a great depth of caring and voicing what someone is capable of. Because he was denied that in his childhood he wants to make sure the people he loves know it. So they feel this need to live up to these standards he unintentionally sets. I can so relate because I was this way with my team. I was deeply caring and supportive but also voiced a lot what they were capable of. Because I too had been denied that in my childhood and with other leaders in my life. So when others would watch my team they would tell me that I had such high standards for my team.

They did not tell me this in a good way btw. Even though I produced a successful team that loved me it felt like a slight. Now while I had those standards it was always paired with deep caring and support. Just like Tim. He is just trying to build up those he loves and can come off as high standards people can't reach. Just a fascinatingly tragic thing the woman he falls in love with mistake it as high standards. When he's just trying to show how much he cares and supports them.

I stumbled across and felt it fit this moment. Because right now Lucy feels she has failed his high standards. Failed his idea of her being #1 (which we know she hasn't in his eyes.) That she's disappointed him so much so she can barely keep eye contact with him. The potential for miscommunication for this is immense. Like it was for him and Isabel. Luckily Tim kills this before it's an issue. So proud of him BTW. His growth still floors me.

Where in 1x12 Tim has no answer for Isabel saying his standards made her feel like a failure, here he has one for Lucy. He’s learned from his past and that’s a beautiful thing to behold. He’s learned to love better. To communicate better. Loving Lucy has made him want to be better in both of those aspects. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes with her as he did with Isabel. I said back in s2 his relationship with Rachel I loved. Not because I loved him with her. But because it helped heal him. Showed him he could do a relationship again. She got him back to that place where he could fall in love again.

Even Ashley as much as we didn’t like her got him thinking about marriage, serious relationships etc again. A place I’m sure he never thought he would go again. Also taught him what he didn’t want. Even though she was the one to end it you know he learned from it. He saw all the things he wanted out of life for his next relationship and then he saw those things with Lucy. All that to say is with that growth he's gained he immediately quells the anxiety and disappointment raging inside her. Doesn't let it fester.

Squashes the thought of her thinking he could ever think that with his sweet reply. I love how he shakes his head. Kinda like how he did back in 6x02 when she asked if he loved her. Like he can’t believe she would even think he would say or think that about her. So much is said in one sentence here. The way he leans closer to her as well. Makes sure she can read her his heart eyes as he expresses something so deeply true to him. That she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch*

Then we get the sweetest kiss to wrap this moment up. I love the way she smiles into the kiss and afterwards. Makes me squee to no end. Completed besotted with the man next to her. It’s screaming all over her body language how much she loves Tim. Their kisses always bring me such shippy joy. It's hard to put into words sometimes. But this one definitely gives me all the butterfly feels. The entire scene does really.

The scene ends with the cutest smile from Lucy. We talk a lot about Tim’s “Lucy smile.” The one he only brings out for her. Lucy has the same with her “Tim smile.” Ain’t no one making her smile and legit light up the way Tim does. Look at the way she looks at that man in the final gifs. With sheer reverence and awe that she gets to call him hers. Tim is uber cute reveling in how good a job he did haha

Lucy easily gives into his comments. Letting him pad his ego this time. He’s more than earned it. Agreeing he did and she loves him so much for it. Adores this man by her side. He is keeping her afloat like no one else could. He never once gave up in supporting her through this nightmare. How even at her lowest Tim managed to take care of her and make her laugh and smile. She is forever grateful and it’s written all over those last two gifs. Cuteness they name is Chenford.

The song in this scene is called “healing rock.” Seems fitting. Tim was definitely healing her in this final scene. Also just a soothing song that played in the background. Perfect way to end it. That’s all she wrote for this one. Damn good episode for them. I was on cloud 9 after this one. Hard not to be. Thank you amazing readers for like, comment and reblog these. You are the real MVP's. see you all in 6x04 :)

~~~

Side note -Non Chenford

More I see Lucy in T.O roles more I think I want her to be one. She would be an excellent teacher. Far better than friggin Nolan.

I love Grey Checking in with Tim about Lucy. Tim telling him he will be glad when this is done. Killing him how she is has been a mess during all this. My heart.

John and Bailey had to have had the most unromantic boring ass honeymoon ever. I watched it the first time but I fast forwarded all that this time. *snooze*

[lace-coffin]

hii!! I absolutely love your works ‼️‼️ yummy

//

But I was wondering how Asa Emory would react to a Kid? Around 7-9.

Butttt, Asa comes home from teaching a bunch of kids, gets dressed and goes to the hotel but when he comes in, there’s stuff like missing, other peoples doors / cages open, etc, and there’s like a little kid stuck somewhere (like maybe Asa’s safe room or whatever) and the little kid kinda of just broke into the hotel looking for shelter.

(Like the kids in an abusive family, etc, and has really ripped clothing and a few bruises on their face)

Idk if this is silly, 😭I just wonder how Asa would react to a abused kid breaking into his hotel and being like ‘dis my hotel now’

How would Asa Emory react to a child breaking into his hotel?

Requests are open!

Asa was bone tired. Teaching children will do that to you. Not that anything particularly noteworthy happened, a few tantrums he had to sooth but that was about it, nothing special. Still, teaching kids sucks the energy and maybe your soul out of you.

Children operate on such a different wave length to us and come out with and do things that Asa couldn’t even begin to conceptualise. Today a kid told him “mommy said that my daddy is going to be having a sleep over at his lady friends house from now on, so I get to sleep in the big bed!” And then walked off like it was nothing.

Trudging into his room Asa tugs off his tie, work clothes following soon after, sighing he slings them onto the bed in a heap, he can deal with it later. Usually he would take a shower but considering the work he does it would just be a waste to get clean to get dirty again.

Slamming the door of his white, but mostly grey van due to it being in dire need of a wash, Asa makes his way to the front entrance of the hotel.

Immediately he can tell something is wrong, the door is still locked as he left it but the bordered up window has a gaping hole across two of the planks, most likely rammed in on the spots that were weakened by weathering.

The gap was maybe large enough for a lanky adult to squeeze through, maybe a child? It definitely wasn’t the police, there would be cop cars and way more fanfare. Looters maybe? If it was looters then there’s a chance the traps inside had taken care of the issue already. It’s not like they’d find anything of value, well anything of monetary value, he’s not sure criminals would consider his collection as valuable as he does.

Steeling his nerves he enters the building, hand readied at his pocket knife clipped to the ring on his belt, it’s unlikely anyone would manage to get the jump on him in his own hotel but it’s always good to be prepared. After darting around corners cautiously he makes it to the control room, something of a safe room almost, before pausing.

Ah, a child. Stood defensively just beyond the door is a dirtied looking child, skin unclean and clothes having seen better days. He defiantly has some guts breaking into here of all places, or maybe it’s just desperation? It looks like the child may not have anywhere to go or atleast doesn’t have a safe home environment. Ok, get the kid to safety and then he’s out of Asa’s (lack of lol) hair. He’s pretty sure all his subjects are secured and in there cages but he can never be too sure what happens overnight when he leaves so it’s best to be hasty. He works with kids all day, he can do this.

He can’t do this. Admittedly the kid probably has a lot going on but they’re a nightmare. So far they’ve kicked and hit whenever Asa approached, attempted to bolt from the locked room, and declared “this my hotel now” to an unamused collector. Eventually they come to a truce, finally managing to subdue the kid with fruit slices and the promise of taking them to the authorities. As much as he doesn’t want the police snooping around here it’s not like he can leave the kid in the cold like this. Asa’s going to have to drive to a random street and essentially lie about where and how he found the kid.

Lord help this man.

[rotisseries]

WHAT WAS THAT THING YOU EXPLAINED TO ME AGES AGO FOR WAITING ROOM ABOUT HOW TO LISTEN TO SONGS THAT ARENT ON SPOTIFY ??? I NEED RED FLANNEL GEORGIA AND I NEED IT NOW

AKAJDFJSKFKS OK THIS IS MY FAVORITE SPOTIFY FEATURE YAY!! relying on people to have uploaded things as a podcast sucks so bad because they get taken down a lot and also it breaks up the vibe because the title and artist are always something random and the little picture is just a sunset or whatever idk IT BREAKS UP THE VIBE

so you can do this from any device, (i prefer to do it from my computer though for reasons that'll be explained later) and if you have spotify premium you'll also be able to listen to it on all devices, but first thing you're going to do is go into your account settings and turn on the local files option

once you do that, it'll access any downloaded audio files you have, and you can listen to them on that device. they'll be stored in a spotify playlist named local files, similar to the liked songs one. (i would also recommend making a separate folder for the songs you want downloaded on spotify, at least on the computer, i know you can change which folder it takes from there. otherwise you might end up with random audio you downloaded for something specific in your spotify library.)

if you have premium, you can also turn on spotify on other devices, and add the song you downloaded to an actual playlist

and it'll sync up on all your devices and you can download the playlist on every device. if you don't have premium though you'll either have to download it on every device or you can only listen to it on the first one you downloaded it on.

now for actually getting the song. this is really simple I tend to go straight to youtube and it's usually pretty easy to find the song I want, and then I just put the link into a youtube to mp3 converter (dodging the hot moms in my area. maybe next time ladies) and then I download it. make sure it's in the right folder and boom! I now have mitski's cover of let's get married to cry to on demand! soundcloud also works though obviously because any audio file will do, and a lot of unreleased songs get uploaded to soundcloud, and there’s a handy little download button right there and you don't need an account! great if you run into a song that isn't on youtube. totally unrelated but I have phoebe bridger's cover of iris downloaded

now. reasons I tend to do it from my computer specifically.

1. most shady websites are just easier to navigate lol. it's twice as hard to deal with pop ups when things are also rotating your phone screen around. so yeah i'd prefer to hit up the mp3 converter from my laptop

2. if you have any songs where the only video for it has an annoying intro or outro, it can be easier to edit it out. like lil nas x's cover of jolene was from the youtube channel for some fucking radio station or whatever so I had to edit that out. and my laptop's native audio file player has a trimming option, so I didn't have to download extra software like I would on my phone

3. and most importantly to me, you can make it aesthetically pleasing. when you just download the audio file it won't have an album picture and it won't have an artist name it'll only have whatever the file name is as a title, which you can change obviously but it doesn't fix the rest of it. on the computer it is so easy to download a metadata editor, and you can edit the file's metadata however you want and it'll have the little artist line and the album if you want and you can put whatever picture goes with the song but this is of course not required it just matters a lot to me personally

anyway have fun!

[im-am-not-a-weenie]

The gang with a reader who gets taken by the O’Driscolls. Also, I am very excited to find someone who writes for Red Dead! I love your writings! 💖

Omg thank you, getting this request made me so happy lol sorry it took A while to finally get to life’s been crazy I’m just gonna do how they react to the news and how they save you (only happy endings for our cowboys) if you want a more detailed version I’d be happy to write it 🤠

Not beta read

🍓The gang when the reader gets taken by the O’Driscolls🍓

Arthur,John,Sean,Hosea,Dutch

GN reader

See end for a/n

🍓Arthur Morgan

As soon as he hears the news he immediately thinks it’s his fault. How could he let someone get to you 

He starts to assume the worst “what if I’m too late.” or “it’s my fault I shouldn’t have left them alone.”

His next reaction is to go out and get you, not thinking about the consequences or what could happen to him. He just needs you to be ok

Hosea has to step in and be the voice of reason “you couldn’t have known Arthur, I know you love them but we can’t just go in there guns a-blazing we need a plan”

After they get you back the first thing Arthur does is hug you, being gentle just in case you were hurt.

“Arthur baby it’s ok I’m not gonna break.” “I know doll, just let me hold you for awhile.”

And you let him. You find yourself cradling his head in your hands and wiping away a few tears (ok it’s a lot of tears but you’re crying to)

“It’s ok Arthur I’m back I’m not going anywhere.” “Damn right you’re not you aren’t leaving without me every again”

And you’re ok with that

🍓John Marston

John doesn’t know what to do at first. He sits there in shock for a couple of minutes.

He probably would’ve stayed there longer is Arthur hadn’t snapped him outta it

“Hold what exactly happened” “I’m sorry John it was a job gone bad, we didn’t know they were waitin for us we were ambushed.” “Are they?” “Alive yes, we’ll get them back John I promise”

And get you back they did

I don’t think the others have seen John so focused on a job

“John you should probably get some sleep, and when was the last time you ate.” “I’m fine Dutch.” “Ok son, don’t worry we’ll get them back”

When they do get you back you can’t pull John off of you, literally like for the next three days they have to pull it off of you

Everyone just got tired of it and just decided leave him be, not that you mind

Everyone else might not know it but John has always been a cuddle bug it just took a traumatic event to show it publicly (but that’s neither here nor there)

“John, sweetheart I’m not going anywhere.” “And you won’t be for like….the rest of your life”

🍓Sean McGuire

Sean is heartbroken all he says and First is “oh” and walks off it’s not that he doesn’t care but it’s that he needs to process

Arthur fines him starring of into space with a lost look in his eyes, he and the rest of the boys have never seen Sean so effected by anything

The one who was always smiling and laughing and probably the loudest was a broken mess on the ground

“What happened out there Arthur.” “honestly I couldn’t tell ya Sean, we were walkin in town they said they needed to grab something from the store and all I heard was the scream before they got ‘em.“

“We’ll get her back Sean.” “We better, them O’Driscolls are going to feel all the pain they’ve felt and more”

They find you passed out, gaged, and tied up in a chair in the corner

You think you’re dreaming at first, the voice bringing you back to conciseness couldn’t be your Sean you struggle to try to open you’re eyes

You felt a hand on your face caressing your cheek you jerk trying to get it off

“Don’t fucking touch me you dirty bastard” “shhh, lass it’s ok it me you don’t have to fight anymore” “Sean?”

He holds you the hold ride back and them some. Trying to help you with the aftermath and trauma you most likely gained (unless ur built different) every time he gets up you hold on tighter

“What’s wrong?” “What if they take me again Sean? “Don’t worry love, you’ll never be taken away from me I promise”

And that a promise you can trust

🍓Hosea matthews

His calm and collected demeanor is gone, well not totally he still wants to get you out as soon as possible but also as safely

He goes into action mood, he moves so fast no one else has time to question or process

“Hosea let’s just think about this more a moment.” “I did think about it Dutch and getting them sooner is better than later.” “Now let’s just-“ “damnit Dutch I’m going to get them now it’s up to you if you wanna come with me or stay here”

The whole gang pitches in on this one because no one dares to say no to angry Hosea or get in his way

The gang works quick and quietly Hosea is all rage until he finally sees your face you only had a few bruises but he will worry that at camp he just wants to get you home

As soon as you have your arms around him you’re sobbing and pulling closer or as closer as you can possibly get

He’ll hold you close too and gives you what you need he rubbed circles on your back and tries to calm you don’t be let’s be honest he’s crying too

“Shh it’s alright love, I got you…that’s right deep breaths, can you do that for me baby c’mon breath with me” putting your hand in his chest so you can match his breaths

As You start to calm you can hear his praises “There you go love that’s it”

you look up to meet his eyes

“Hi.” “Hi love.” “Thanks for coming to get me.” “My dear i’d fallow you too the ends of the earth.”

🍓Dutch van der linde

The news hits Dutch the hardest

He starts to panic, he can’t lose someone to the O’Driscolls again

He starts pacing and muttering as he’s walking back and forth he starts to fidget with his hands

The gang hasn’t seen their leader like this it makes the rest of the group nervous too

 “Dutch if you keep that up you’ll start to run yourself into the ground.” “Huh?”

He hasn’t noticed the pacing what felt like seconds was actually minutes. 30 to be exact he decides it’s time to do something. Time for a great Dutch van der Linde speech

“All right gang as you know a tragedy that has struck today, we can sit here and think about the worse OR we can go out there and show those O’Driscolls what happens when they mess with us”

Of course everyone was with Dutch

When they found you the first thing Dutch did was grab you and lift you up in an tight embrace spinning you around

“Dutch baby.” “Yes dear?” “I can’t breath”

He immediately let you go well not totally but he let up a bit

You reach up to cradle his face in you hand to which he immediately lent into the touch . You wipe a tear from his face telling him how you’ll never leave him again to which his response is

“And I you”

🍓Hey everyone I’m so sorry if this absolutely sucked lol but I tried it’s been awhile since I posted or wrote anything but I wanted to put something out again sorry but this was not beta read so I apologize for the grammar and spelling errors, also thanks for all of the well wishes and I hope to start posting regularly again and finish everyone’s requests love you all-Rhys🍓

[omarera]

Breaking down the Aftonbladet article putting into Swedish context, at least my perspective. Markus is viewing the award as a music award and he has strong opinions on what his music taste is. People should vote as he wants lol. So a positive thing g here is that Omar seems to have a lot of votes. He is always very sarcastic and often have one line slaps sticks liners in his articles and is always straight forward. Markus wants it to be a his taste of “best music “ award but in reality fans are voting based on their own taste and dedication to vote. He needs to change his view of what Rockbjörnen is and why people vote.

Long post ahead…

Some nominations are the joke of the year. Doesn't just stand out. It sticks the eyes.

Ok, I have a few questions. La Gunilla? Fröken Snusk? Where did the musical taste go, dear audience? Is it out drunkenly riding a valley horse?

Since Rockbjörnen is Aftonbladet's prize, I should probably hold back.

It will be such a bad atmosphere otherwise.

The taste is different. After rain comes sun. It's always worse in Gällivare. Take pastors in Knutby with a grain of salt, and so on.

But one of the nominations doesn't just stand out. It sticks out the eyes of sensitive people.

Gunilla Persson? What is she doing here? Her contribution in the Melodifestivalen, "I won't shake (la la Gunilla)", was quite a lot. But "Breakthrough of the year"? What to say about it? Hawk tuah?

Nominating her is like watching the pole vault final at the Olympics, watching Armand Duplantis break a new world record and then giving the Gold of Achievement to a falcon.

I interpret everything as Aftonbladet's dear readers trolling us. If La Gunilla is the breakthrough of the year, you might as well give the bear to Babsan's chorizo ​​hit "Give me a Spaniard", even though the song was released in 2011.

That would be about as reasonable.

For context: Babsan you all know 🫠 but Gunilla Persson is known for being a “Hollywood wife reality star” and she is just loved or hated and just a strong character. She is not a music artist and the actual new breakthrough music artists gets in her shadow.

Another nomination makes me demand that Sweden should introduce a driver's license test before people can express themselves about music. Otherwise, there is a great risk that many people will accelerate backwards towards a red light on the left side of the traffic. That is, cogs in the run-up by voting for Fröken Snusk.Her mix of knight fun and epadunk in a pink robber's hat would only have been a given winner if Rockbjörnen introduced the category "Joke of the Year".

Then so. Now it feels easier to breathe.

For context: Fröken Snusk performes in a pink mask and have songs like “Ride me like a Dalahorse” and “the Gynecological”. Fröken Snusk kind of translates into Miss Naughty. She is though very popular among kids and teens mostly. A guy behind her pulls all the strings and she basically sings the songs. She wants to take a bigger role and is starting to change her image. The song she did in Mello she was a co-author on and she was also the winner of this year’s “The mask” showing off she has great voice. Taking of the mask having her pink mask on. Some songs were also taken down from Spotify due allegations of manipulation of streams. But many love her. Others hate her.

Otherwise, this year's gala seems to be a classic duel at dawn between two relatively young men: Omar Rudberg and Benjamin Ingrosso.Omar can win four Rockbears and Benjamin three, which is due, among other things, to the fact that "Benji" has not performed at Gröna Lund this year and therefore cannot be nominated in the category "Grönan live act of the year".

There is nothing wrong with Rudberg, but if the prize is still about music, Ingrosso should sweep home everything. This summer he took on a new giant leap as a stage performer.

For context: I won’t riot against Markus, so if that’s what you want to read, move on. He acknowledges that it is a duel between them and he has probably seen the numbers of votes. That is positive news for me. There are not just Omar and Beji nominated and Omar and Benji seems to be close in voter numbers (if that’s the reason he writes the article and want to prime Benji winning)

Stating “there is nothing wrong with Omar, but if the prize is still about music, Ingrosso should sweep home everything”.

Music is subjective, and Markus saying there is nothing wrong with Omar is like a compliment coming from him. I prefer Omar’s music and we all know he is not recognized is Sweden as any of us thinks he deserves. I fully agree with that. I also agree that Benji is the biggest artist this year and he has taken leaps both performance wise and with his music. He has done an outsold European tour ( similar to the one Omar will do) and he has had several hits dominating the charts with a little bit of, for him, music style and quality. He has also had a very successful summer tour ( designed by the same person who designed Beyonces stage performance). He has had arena show in Sweden, very few Swedish artists pull that off. He IS the biggest Swedish male artist atm. So I understand Markus viewpoints. Omar is still in the beginning of his career, he has just started performing on stages and has his first tour announced. It’s not possible to compare them. Benji has so much more experience and has released so much more music. Omar is already great but he will have more music coming out with better producers and he will ofc evolve even more on stage. I see many compare Benji with Harry Styles and that’s where my references goes as well. He kind of has similar stage clothes and also the reading signs and having people proposing on his stage. So he interacts with the audience in a similar way.

The trolling part when it comes to Benji is that Benji has been/is by some hated just bc he is a nepo kid and his family. He had a FB group with 9000 members called “we who hate Benjamin” when he was 9yo. And yes he has benefited a lot from his family background and the benefits that comes with that but he also gets hate. And he still has that feeling with him it seems and seem to consider himself as a kind of an underdog needing to prove himself. So him being the biggest artist atm, and if he doesn’t win some will see it as people voted on other artist to make him not win and build on the narrative that it is bc he is a Wahlgren/Ingrosso. He also gets votes for that reason ofc, people loving him and his family, rather than people loving his music.

But all together, La Gunilla and Fröken Snusk might win, loved by the people but maybe not the best music. Omar is loved and have dedicated fans even though Benji is the biggest artist this year. And has the music that has been recognized. Markus seem to prefer his music, I prefer Omar’s music.

Regarding the trolling history for Rockbjörnen, last year Hooja won four categories, they are also liked and loved by kids and people all ages I guess, they wear masks and do fun songs with kind of silly lyrics. Listen below. But they were also “outed” and their names and life’s were written about by Aftonbladet last year which was quite controversial since they wanted to be anonymous for their sake and also their families. They live north in Sweden and lead somewhat just normal family life. So, that was also probably one reason people voted for them. A way of trolling as well.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

NEWSIES UNO REVERSE

I LOVE IT

tell me EVERYTHING

starting questions I have

-what happens to esther, Sarah and mayer in this au

-how does this change les and jack's dynamic of like "cool older kid who's street smart" and "little kid who idolises him"

- what happens, is Jack now the more educated one, is it Jack who has the words to start a strike,

-who leads the manhattan lodging house

-has davey had run ins with Brooklyn before (and what does Jack think of Brooklyn when he becomes a newsie)

-does davey like getting into fights (bc I think especially 92sies David would, but bc of how he's been brought up he dismisses the mere notion and avoids fisticuffs)

ok warning u now I will have more questions later haha

I WELCOME ALL THE QUESTIONS!!! Sorry this is sooooo long but here:

what happens to esther, Sarah and mayer in this au

Oooh I haven’t thought about Sarah yet! But I will tie it in to what happens to the Jacobs parents. Be warned, it is Sad and Tragic.

Mayer tangles with a delivery truck, just like in livesies, but instead of staying at home he leaves the state to find work with family somewhere west. He never comes back. This happens when Davey is about eight. Sarah is a little older, maybe twelve, and Esther is pregnant with Les, who never gets to meet his father. Three years later, Esther falls ill and passes. I imagine Sarah being the oldest and ‘Most promising’ would be sent/taken away to live with an elderly relative, or possibly some sort of home for girls

how does this change les and jack's dynamic of like "cool older kid who's street smart" and "little kid who idolises him"

Well Jack is still Jack, you know? Oh and if you thought he was confident before, just IMAGINE how insufferable he in a world where he had a clean bed and full stomach every day?

I think Les would see him as the cool new “rich” kid who is confident enough to try anything and has all these wonderful stories about growing up in the theatre—which Davey obviously cannot stand bc he believes Les should keep his head on earth

what happens, is Jack now the more educated one, is it Jack who has the words to start a strike

Omg omg ong okay SO I’ve actually been thinking bout this a TON, and although their on roles are switched, they still are the characters they are if that makes sense??? So in my mind, it’s still Davey who has the words and information to start the strike—orphaned or not, this motherfucker READS. Similar to the show though he sort of sparks the idea, and Jack is kind of egging him on which Davey doesn’t understand because Jack HAS a mother, a family, he has so much more to lose

And there is this one scene that has been chewing on my brain and shaking it nonstop like a Rottweiler with a toy. Jack is still very much an artist in this AU, and Davey is the one who escaped from The Refuge.

Post rally apology scene, Jack says he’s talked to Kath and they have an idea—Davey says he just talked to her, too… and Davey isn’t kissing and telling but he doesn’t have to. Jack can tell there’s something (and there’s a lot of internal angst from Jack about this, who is trying to stay cool)

Anyway. The plan involves needing words and art for The Neesies Banner. Kath and Davey’s words, and Jack’s art. So Jack and Davey sit down together, Davey recounting everything he went through at the refuge while Jack draws it.

And then Jack can’t take it anymore and puts his pencil down and Davey’s like “???? Why’d you stop?”

Jack looks at him and just says, “I am so sorry this happened to you” and Davey is taken SO aback because he doesn’t think anyone has ever told him that and they have A Moment and uh oh??? Feelings??? And the moment breaks and they scramble away to the printing press at Pulitzers basement lol

-who leads the manhattan lodging house

Davey, but in a more unassuming way! He’s not so outright about it, and definitely not a big personality. He mostly talks kids out of making stupid decisions, but if they’re stubborn enough (Race) he’s not going to waste his time, because they’ll find out the hard way (Also Race). He’s not even necessarily the “leader” he’s just sort of the oldest and has been there the longest so

-has davey had run ins with Brooklyn before (and what does Jack think of Brooklyn when he becomes a newsie)

Davey has had a run in with Brooklyn through Race. I can see Race getting into a scuffle with Spot and Davey having to intervene. Not sure WHY yet? Maybe Race was selling on Brooklyn turf, maybe he was conning Brooklyn newsies, but I DO know that Davey was Very Annoyed about having to save Race’s ass

-does davey like getting into fights (bc I think especially 92sies David would, but bc of how he's been brought up he dismisses the mere notion and avoids fisticuffs)

Honestly? I don’t think he *likes* it, but he realizes the necessity of it quite early on!

THANK YOU FOR THESE!! They were so fun! 🤩 Anyone anywhere anytime is ALWAYS welcome to ask me about my brainrot newsies AUs lol

[i-wiggle-i-squirm-bc-i-am-a-worm]

Unnecessary discussion about Chat Noir and the Drums

There’s something I love so much about Chat playing the drums in Horrificator. This is something that’s been on my mind since I was 13, so hold on here.

First, obviously, Adrien also plays the piano - which obviously still has a lot of meaning!! - I’m not here to diss on the piano, there’s a lot of freedom of expression in every instrument type and music expression in general, but there’s a reason why some people are more inclined to different instruments, and I think there’s a lot more to it than just sound, but feeling as well. The role you play. How it feels to play it alone vs. playing it with others, if it’s typically something that you can play alone vs. in a group.

So first, the piano, and how I think it relates to Adrien’s character, plus how it relates to those points.

The piano, let’s be real, is something that a lot of us were forced to take lessons for at some point. It’s something that has ties to high society (there’s a HUGE discussion and so much more to say about that, but let’s not go there) and honestly?? I think it works pretty well with symbolizing the obsession with perfection that Gabriel shoves onto him. I’ve known many piano players, and while some genuinely loved playing it, it was always easier to somehow stumble onto someone with a deep hatred for it after being forced into lessons. Whenever I asked them why they hated it, I got almost the same answer every time: “I need to be perfect.” (Along with people saying that they were forced to lol)

Then there’s the role you play. You can play with people in a band, an orchestra, as an accompanist, a duet, at a bar with a bunch of people singing - whatever - music has many forms, and many different connections. But the piano is something you can play solo, no need for anyone else. It isn’t what you can do with other people that I’m focusing on for this, it’s the fact that you don’t need anyone. You can play alone, and it’ll still be fine. You can be alone, and you’re still fine - perfect even - which is something that Gabriel shoves down his throat, resistant to him playing with his friends by touching on this ideology.

Which is a glimpse into how he sees Adrien, and how Adrien experiences life. He can be alone, in fact he’s more perfect when he’s alone. And when other people are added, the attention to his perfection is taken away bit by bit, until he’s not good enough. He has to play solo in concert halls, on stage for everyone to watch, not in the back of a bar, playing with his friends.

Alright, so now we move to Chat Noir and the drums. The main play of this fake essay. 

It would be so easy to just ignore everything and just go “haha, he’s the energetic one, so ofc Ladybug gave him the drums! And they’re an easy instrument to play, etc.” but that’s far from the truth.

Ok, so I’m not a drum player or percussionist in any way, but I am a bass player, and genuinely love the drums so much because they’re incredibly important, and here’s my cheesy analogy: the drums are the heart of the band, keeping everyone on beat, it’s what you feel at the centre of it all. The band is nothing without the drums, without the percussion (The bass is what connects the band to the beat of the drums, kinda like the blood vessels, but sadly this ain’t about bass).  Like do you know how easy it is for a band to fall apart if they don’t have a drummer??? You need a drummer. You literally can’t survive without a drummer, because even if you manage to work together, use the bass as a backing, whatever you try, there’s still not much of a heart left.

But besides that, do you know how hard it is to play the drums??? You can’t just throw someone crazy, or energetic there just because “crazy drummers lol” you need someone who listens. Who can set the beat. Someone you can rely on, because they are the person in control, even if they aren’t as flashy as the guitar player. Reliable is the word that comes to mind. The drums can make or break a band.

And wanna know who that reminds me of?

Yeah. I highly doubt that the writers put this much thought into a random five second scene in an episode of season one, but it fits with Chat Noir SO well. 

Unlike the piano, the drums are almost solely played in a group setting - you need other people, and other people need you - he needs other people in his life, his friends are needed, but they also need him. Ladybug needs him, along with all the other heroes in Paris, whether he sees it or not. He seems to get in a state of thinking he’s not needed, but i do really think he’s the emotional glue that keeps the team connected, the heart that keeps them beating. If he’s isolated, he can’t quite reach his full potential that he can when he’s allowed to be around others, just like they can’t reach their own without him.

But on top of that, I think the stereotypes of the drums actually works in his favour for the next part. 

Breaking free from his dad, and being his own person, letting that fame go and embracing what he wants... well, to some that would look stupid. 

Relating it to music, the piano is flashy, you can play it solo, it sounds impressive, looks impressive, and people won’t think you’re just hitting pots and pans in the garage when you say you play it. But the drums are underestimated, a lot of people think you don’t need much practice, that they’re just the guys who sit at the back of the stage, not doing much, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Just like Adrien finally being who he wants wouldn’t be stupid, it could never be stupid, but there’s a stigma. But letting go of his flashy, solo life, and being the heart of his friend group is something that I think makes him truly happy as Chat Noir, and hopefully he gets to be like that as Adrien too.

Like Plagg said, Chat Noir and Adrien are both the real him, and I think the drums capture that perfectly. The heart and freedom, the meticulousness (rather than perfection) and steadiness, those are good qualities of a drummer.

I dunno, I just think it fits.

(sdfghjklkjhgf again I should state that acoustic versions of songs exist, and you can play songs without a drum and it sounds fantastic, but I’m not going into that today. Just talking generalization, and playing in a group setting). 

[it-was-funeral-grey]

Realisations in mess (Al Haitham x F!Reader)

Masterlist Part 5 Part 6

Summary: you're finally home! But what is this mess? clean up + cooking with alhaitham basically

Warnings: vulgarities, trashed up house (matra's fault), reader's ankle is sprained, cleaning up, alhaitham spewing out absolute bs, they eat an onion lol (no joke i was far gone when i wrote that part), sword,

Word count: <3.4k

Inspired by:-

Author's note: im learning how to make gifs! also im not sure if its obvious, but this is gonna be a 'slowburn' type of story!

Thank you everyone for your comments and encouragement! I can;t thank you all enough!

as usual i hope this is ok i tried

Please give criticism! Also, if i missed any warnings, do tell me so i can add them!

Her house is a fucking mess.

Al Haitham can try, but he can't recall what her house looks like. But he knows it's not supposed to look like this.

Archons, what the hell did the Matra do? 

He doesn't stop her when she unslings her arm from around him. Instead, he holds the door open as she hobbles into her living room. He hears her let out a defeated sigh, but when she turns around to face him, she smiles.

"Well, at least I'll have something to do this afternoon," she looks around with pursed lips. "Been thinking of rearranging stuff anyway!"

Her cheerful tone doesn't fool him. It's as clear as day that she's beyond upset at the state of her home.

"You're...going to clean up this mess on your own?" she can't be serious. The place is completely trashed (is that...Harra Spice on the floor?). "Just you. With your sprained ankle." 

"Well, you did see the looks that the neighbours gave me," no, he didn't. He was focusing on other things. Like making sure she leans her weight on him, not her ankle. "I should probably keep to myself for now," she replies, her eyes downcast. "Hopefully, whatever rumours about me will die out soon." 

With that, she squats down, picking up a book off the floor. 

Huh, now that he thinks about it, there are a lot of books here (and yes, that's definitely Harra Spice on the floor.). And no, not notebooks or record books. Actual books- look, there's a book on languages over there and a thick book about Liyue Adeptuses right next to it. Al Haitham has never seen another house with this many books (apart from his own). In fact, most of her living room floor is covered in them, ripped from their bookshelves which lay not too far away from them. 

It must have taken her years to collect this many books. He's impressed that she managed to keep them all hidden all this time.

"I'll be fine, really," her voice strains as she reaches for another book. "Thank you for helping me back! And for everything else." 

Al Haitham's moving before he knows it. One second he's standing up, looking down at her picking up her books. The next, he's dropping his overnight bag and squatting down, grabbing her book for her.

"Oh! Thank you."

"You need to rest your ankle," Al Haitham states, reaching over to take the book already in her hands. "Stand up." 

Moving over to her, he gestures for her to sling an arm over him before standing up with her.

"There's no way you're going to be able to clean up this mess," he unslings her hand gently before walking over to her overturned couch. "I'll help."

"Ah! It's fine," she hobbles over to him, but he's already flipped her couch over. "You must be busy. I can-"

"It's lunchtime now. Everyone's on break." 

"Then you should be taking a break too!"

"I've already done so on the boat."

"Well, what about your lunch? I didn't see you eat anything."

"I had a heavy breakfast."

"That's not lunch."

"Sit down and rest your ankle."

"Hey! Did you hear what I just said?"

Despite your protests, you're grateful you won't have to clean up this mess alone.

"How do you arrange your books?" Al Haitham asks as he lifts your last toppled bookshelf back upright. "By topic? Height?" He then shoots you a wary glance. "…Colour?"

"Topic, then by height," you reply, feeling slightly useless as you sit on the couch with a newly bandaged ankle (courtesy of Al Haitham). "Wait, colour? Do people do that?"

"You'll be surprised," he chuckles, and you see his shoulders relax. "There exists a certain individual that insists on making it their personal mission to convince others to arrange their bookshelves that way purely 'for the aesthetic'," he picks up a red book off the floor, running a hand over the slightly dented cover. "You have a lot of books here."

"Do… you find it strange?" you ask meekly. You wouldn't be surprised if he did. Hardly anyone in Sumeru used books, much less kept them thanks to the (recently abolished) Personal Book Act. This wouldn't be the first time a visitor judges you about it.

"Not at all," Al Haitham replies, flipping through the book gently. "I'm just surprised that you read," he stops at a folded page. "Almost no one reads in Sumeru. Not even Akademiya scholars. All they relied on was the Akasha terminals."

He balances the book in a hand and shuts it.

"I'm impressed that you managed to get your hands on this many. The Akademiya doesn't print any books. And there aren't any bookstores in Sumeru."

He passes the red book to you, and you swear his lips curve upwards for a fraction of a second.

"It's well written, but the author gives no evidence to back up his hypothesis. It's pure speculation on his part."

"You've read this before?"

"It's a title in the House of Daena," he explains, bending down to pick up another book and reading its title. "Although it's better off as a storybook."

"The House of Daena has books about Liyue?" you ask. The book in your hands is a Liyue publication which took you many pains to obtain. If there's an easier way to get access to such books-

"Definitely," he seems intrigued by your enthusiasm. "Many darshans' studies involve learning about other cultures and regions. So, books on such topics would be provided. Although whether the students want to read them is a different story."

So they'll have books about Liyue Law! You haven't been able to get your hands on any thus far.

He picks up a few more books off the floor and places them on a bookshelf nearest to him.

"You have a lot of books on Law. And Liyue."

"Ah! Yeah," his observation shocks you back into reality. "I…actually wanted to study in Liyue's Law School."

"Wanted?"

"Well, you know," he turns to look at you, and you look away. You know you won't be able to control the disappointment written all over your face if you talk about this. "Times aren't exactly the best now. Money is tight right now, with inflation and all. So…"

"I see."

"Yeah," you sigh and quickly plaster a smile, as you turn back to him. "But it's alright. I can still read about it! There are many more books in the House of Daena, so I'll borrow them!"

"…You can only borrow books if you're a student or teacher at the Akademiya."

"Oh."

It takes Al Haitham about an hour to finally get all the books off the ground and into a somewhat orderly manner. The floor is much more empty now, save for shards of glass and foodstuff amongst overturned furniture. Al Haitham knows that the Matra are thorough in their investigations, but wrecking a house to such an extent in search of evidence is seriously going overboard.

He's going to have a long talk with the Matra stationed at Port Ormos when he gets there.

"Here?" Al Haitham asks the lady standing next to him. She's insisted on helping, against his protests. Eventually, they came to a compromise- he'll carry and arrange the books, and she'll point out where to put everything.

"Yep! These few are fine- ok, switch those two," she instructs. "Everything else is in order. Thank you!"

"Where's the broom?" Al Haitham asks, kicking a shard of glass away from her. "There's glass everywhere."

"It must be the bottle of Harra Spice I bought," she hobbles past the dining table over to the kitchen, Al Haitham following closely behind her. "I bought some groceries the day before I got arrested. I left it on the dining table and… forgot to unpack it."

She didn't forget. Al Haitham takes the opportunity to quickly pick up the chairs and push them under the table, which she thanks him for. She was taking care of me and didn't have the time to put it away.

They both ignore the splinters of wood that fall out when he moves the chairs.

"I'm sorry about this whole mess," Al Haitham sighs. It doesn't matter how he tries to reason with himself. No matter what, this whole situation is his fault. And it leaves a really bad taste in his mouth that she's the one paying the price for it. "I'll be sure to pay for whatever damages there are."

"None of this is your fault," she quickly retorts, grabbing the broom's handle…which immediately detaches from the broom's head. "And like I said," she reaches for the broom head, but Al Haitham beats her to it, taking the handle from her as well. "I've been thinking about rearranging the place anyway!"

Yeah. Rearranging, not refurbishing. Past her shoulder, he sees the wrecked kitchen. And shards of broken tableware among other objects sprinkled all over the floor. She's going to need to replace a lot of things.

"Still, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you-"

"If you really want to make it up to me, take care of yourself and don't faint in front of a random person's house again!"

"I'll do my best."

"Is…that a yes or a no?" her head tilts as she frowns, eyeing him puzzledly. "And wait! Do your best to not do that or to do that?"

And out of nowhere, Al Haitham feels the sudden urge to 'push it', as Kaveh call it. Just to see how she'll react. For research purposes.

"Celestia wills the movement of the mountain and hills." he recites an old rhyme while observing her increasingly perplexed expression with great interest. The rhyme was just his grandmother's way of saying that no one knew what the future held- except fate.

"…what?"

"May the stars align your wish alongside their plans."

"???"

The good news is that cleaning your kitchen didn't take very long. The bad news is that you pretty much have to buy a new set of almost everything for your kitchen.

No, you're not joking. All you could do was grab things off the floor and counter and throw them into the bin. It hadn't taken long for you to realise that the Matra had destroyed almost everything, save for your stove and sink, a dented, but still usable pot, a single onion and a small bottle of oil.

Nothing else was spared. Not your tableware. Not your bottles of sauce. Not any of your newly bought ingredients. And most definitely not your bottle of Harra spice.

"This should be the last of it," Al Haitham re-enters the kitchen with a fully filled dustpan. "You need any help in here?"

"No, I'm done here," you groan. The Matra had destroyed all your groceries for the week. Do you even have enough Mora to buy food again this week? "Squeaky clean!"

"…and empty."

"Don't remind me," you grumble, sitting on the counter. "How did they break so many plates? It's not even fragile! It's made of wood!"

"A hidden ability of overzealous and bored Matra, I suppose," Al Haitham says as he dumps the contents of the dustpan into your overflowing bin. "Is there anything else?"

"No, just my room. I'll settle that myself," you answer. Rubbing at your bandaged ankle, you sigh, leaning your head against the overhead cabinet. "Thank you for your help, really. I wouldn't have been able to clean this all on my own."

"It's no problem. How does your ankle feel?"

"It's alright. Doesn't hurt too much."

"That's good. Elevate it when you can."

"I will."

A peaceful silence washes over the two of you as you finally get some rest after cleaning the entire house. But all that's interrupted when your stomach suddenly rumbles.

Oh, Archons. 

"I…I'm so sorry."

"Well, it is a little bit past lunchtime. How are you settling lunch?"

"I have an onion."

"Sorry?"

"I have oil too."

"You're going to eat an onion?"

"I gotta," you grip the onion in your hands. "But all my knives are broken, so I can't dice it."

"Can't you go out to buy some ingredients?" Al Haitham looks a little concerned. "You don't need to eat the onion."

"The only person who sells groceries these days is Bahram," you begin peeling the onion. "But he closes shop early. He should be closed right now."

"So, how are you planning on eating this…onion?"

"I'll try to fry it."

"You're just going to toss that whole sphere of onion onto a pan?"

"Well, I don't have a pan anymore so I'll use my pot," you grab your pot and place it over the stove. "Hopefully, it won't roll out."

"Now, hold on. Don't do that."

"I mean the other alternative is eating it raw, but-"

"Use this."

"Hm?" you pour some oil into the pot before turning to him. "What the he-"

"Calm down. You're going to spill the oil onto the floor."

"Where did that come from?!"

"From me."

Before you is a beautiful green blade, rounded by a white and gold spine. A majestic aura surrounds it- as if it belongs to a higher being. It almost looks too holy to touch.

"Here. Use it to dice the onion."

HUH.

"Waitjustholdonasecond," your words jumble as you struggle to understand his request. "You want me to take your fancy blade and use it to cut the onion?"

"Yes," he pushes the blade further towards you. "Go on."

"You can't be serious. I can't do that to your sword!"

"If it's hygiene you're worried about, I assure you that-"

"No, it's not that!" honestly, it kind of scares you how hygiene isn't your main concern here. "Your sword! I can't cut an onion with your sword! What if I break it?"

"If my sword breaks from cutting an onion, I wouldn't carry it around."

"You carry it around? Where? I didn't see- ok, I'm going off-topic," you sigh. "Are you sure I can use it? It looks really expensive and I don't wanna, uh, desecrate it."

"It's a sword. It's meant for cutting things," he takes the onion from you and slices it into two before handing it over to you. "You're using it as intended. I don't see the problem."

"If you say so…" he lets the blade go into your hands, and you jerk at the sudden weight. "Oh- Archons, how do you carry this?"

"You alright there?"

"Yep, yep, I- I'll be fine!"

Your onions end up more chunky than usual, but you'll take it. You heat up the oil (after trying to squeeze out every last drop of oil from the small bottle) and gently add in the onions later. The sounds of sizzling oil fill the kitchen, and you happily take in the scent emitting from the pot. After a while, you feel that it's time to stir it around so you-

Wait. How are you gonna stir it?

"Uh oh," you grab the handle of the pot, tilting it from one end to the other. But it's no use. The onions aren't flipping over. "Oh no."

"Hm?"

"I forgot I don't have a spatula. I can't flip it."

"Use the sword."

"I- fine. Use the sword."

The final product looks better than you expected. Golden brown onions lay on top of each other inside the pot and your mouth waters at the sight.

"You'll have to wait till the pot cools down a little," Al Haitham cautions as he places the pot on the dining table. "Or else you'll burn your hand when you reach in for a slice."

"Haha, no."

"Hey! What did I just say-"

You really can't help yourself. You're too hungry. Reaching into the pipping hot pot, you pinch a piece of onion and quickly toss it into your mouth.

"Ah- hwot-"

"Unbelievable."

"Take- a slice!" you say between blowing out hot air. "It tastes pretty good! Must be the fancy sword flavour."

"I'll take one when it cools down a little. So I don't burn my fingers and the roof of my mouth."

"Suit yourself."

And the two of you fall into another cycle of silence- this time only interrupted by the sound of you blowing out hot air and Al Haitham scoffing at the display before him. Eventually, the pot cools down, and he takes up your offer and grabs a piece.

"What do you think? Pretty good, right?"

"It's good."

"That's all you have to say about the onions your sword painstakingly chopped?" you hold your chest in fake shock. "How dare you, good sir!"

"Well, my sword seems happy enough," he plays along, reaching a hand out. In an instant, the blade materialises. "I don't see any dissatisfaction from it."

"Woah!"

And then the blade disappears. And his hand is again as empty as your kitchen is.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what? Keep my sword?"

"Yeah! And make it reappear!"

"Well…"

The rest of your meal is spent happily chatting and making the poor man materialise and keep his blade over, and over again.

As selfish as it sounds, you don't want him to go. Because the moment he does, you'll be alone in Vimara Village, with nothing but rumours to keep you company.

But he has a job to do- an important one, at that. He's Sumeru's Acting Grand Sage. He's not a friend.

"I think it's about time I take my leave," he finally says, snapping you out of your train of thought. Standing up from his shaky chair, he grabs his overnight bag. "Thank you for your hospitality."

"Not at all," you reply, slowly standing from your chair as well. "I'm sorry that I couldn't host you under better circumstances."

"Would you happen to know where a certain Dilawar lives?" he asks. "I was told that he lives here."

Ah, so that's why he's here.

"Mr Dilawar lives not too far from here. Just head upwards from here and stop at the second house from the bridge," you answer. "Are… you here to fix Port Ormos?"

"Yes," he replies. "The closure of the port is not a problem I can ignore. Discussing the current state and future of the port with the trade supervisors is a crucial step in fixing the problem."

"Well, if you're on the case, then there's nothing for us common folk to worry about," you let out a relieved sigh. "With you as the Acting Grand Sage, Sumeru is in good hands."

"…Thank you."

You walk him to your front door, and he pauses outside for a moment to look back at you.

"Make sure to rest your ankle."

"I will."

"Keep a look out for any shards of glass on the floor. I may have missed them."

"I highly doubt that, but alright."

"And," he pauses again, looking over at your bookshelves. "Don't give up hope on going to Law school."

"Eh?"

"You must have taken a lot of effort to collect and read through all those books," he says. "It'd be a pity if all that effort went to waste."

He stands a little straighter, looking you in the eye this time.

"This is a temporary issue. Don't let something like that ruin a lifetime of fulfilment."

With that, he turns around.

"Well then, see you."

"Ah! Yeah, see you."

And he walked off.

"Well, you know," she doesn't turn away fast enough for Al Haitham to miss that crushed expression of hers. "Times aren't exactly the best now. Money is tight right now, with inflation and all. So…"

"I see."

So, it's a money issue. The reason that she's giving up her dream is because of money.

Like hell he's going to let that happen.

He'll solve it. He'll fix Sumeru's entire economy. He'll force the port open with his own two hands.

Just get that look off her face.

Join the Taglist!

Tagged: @sh3wholiv3s @simpcreator @confusedparticle @quintessentialdreaming @icedlemontea03 @levisbebe @anxious-piece-of-bread @confused-red-head

[sleepymccoy]

Hey sleepy! I liked your reply about your job and the questions you need to think about wording. I saw something in your tags and wanted to provide my experience if that's ok? I don't know how valuable it is to share, and it may be the case that you already know or have considered this, so, to be taken or left at will :)

You say you see a lot of autistic people on tumblr having strong negative reactions to normal interactions, which can be a bit confusing. And it's true! They are normal and polite, and to some extent necessary. What I want to say is this : I am autistic, and growing up I struggled a lot with these subtle questions. I did get a lot better at this with practice, and conscious effort - I am 30 years old now, and my interactions are easier to navigate, even if I still regularly run into the same problems I used to. This makes me have complicated interactions with people, but complicated is just part of life, and most people are quite helpful I find.

Where I think the problem still lies for me, and where this anger might be coming from when people complain about this online, is that people quite regularly still get angry or upset with me when I don't answer properly or seem like I don't understand something easy. I mean like colleagues at work, where we range from 30 to 55 years of age.

There is a difference between your work and mine, question wise, I think : my colleagues don't know I'm autistic, while you know your patients have dementia. They think I'm a bit weird (this has been communicated to me lol), but no more. It may be that you simply don't interpret them as rude, because you know they're not trying to be, while people regularly interpret my behavior this way - rude, lazy, stupid, what have you. In my life I am finding people to not always be very patient when I don't follow the expected script. Many people are!! Most people are. And we go back and forth asking more questions to figure out what we're talking about, and sometimes I can feel that they are finding this a bit funny, but it works out in the end. But the angry and upset ones weigh heavy, and when I was a child many more people felt comfortable, I think, being angry with me. It took a lot of time to unlearn that I could get punished for asking follow up or clarifying questions for simple conversations.

I think, in short, that the autistic people you see complain about this have learned to be afraid. If they are young, or surrounded by less patient people, people might be getting angry at them often, or it may be recent in their life that they did get angry.

(It may also be that they have been trying to learn how to navigate these for a while, and it just won't work! It can be very hard to tell what went wrong in a given interaction and it's easy to leave it with the wrong conclusion. Working on this was a very frustrating process. But this is, I think, another subject.)

Thank you for your patience with my many many words, and please have a good day :)

Hey thank you!!

Especially thank you cos I was a bit nervous rambling like that cos I definitely don't want to try and take away from autistic people's experiences, or put myself in a place where I shouldn't be. I fully get that a lot of tumblr stuff is people not looking for solutions and just venting about their life (that's healthy! You need a space for that!) so I don't wanna step in all defensive and explanatory when someone's just had a particularly shit day. I'm very pleased you read it (long as it was) and didn't come away offended ❤️

I expect I do have quite different experiences, one (obviously) because I'm not autistic. The other being I work in a place that pretty much requires abnormal patience to be able to do the job. This job also is hugely culturally diverse and the style of communication in the break room is plain and simple English and trying to reword sentences quickly and blamelessly because confusion is presumed to be a cultural mishmash or struggle with english. There are definitely neurodiverse staff who I work with (some have told me, some just struggle beyond a language barrier) but it isn't much of an issue cos of the culture we've built. This probably puts me on a back foot cos it seems so easy to me to chat to everyone I meet, just by code switching slightly as needed. That's basic politeness

So yeah, if there's fucking adult professionals in the world not approaching colleagues with politeness and generosity, you'll have some bad times. I've had them at prior workplaces, bullies are cunts

There are of course a lot of differences between people living with dementia and autistic people, but I admit I hadn't thought of my awareness of their diagnosis! You're totally right, and being aware of someone's needs does change my behaviour.

I agree with you that it seems like people have learnt to be afraid of conversations. I think that's very sad, cos most conversations are harmless and fun.

The bit I see on tumblr that bothers me most really is the grouping of "all autistics think like this whereas all neurotypicals think like that" which just cannot help anyone actually chat. It's not always as a neurotypical = bad (although that is most often the tone), but I don't like how it removes uniqueness from people. And I think it's more of a situation where people are applying their personal trauma responses to a whole group of people and assuming it's correct cos it's true for them, individually.

Like, I see my staff room with three Nepalese (one of whom is on the spectrum), a Ugandan with brain damage, the most beautiful Ethiopian woman you'll ever see, the country guy with ADHD, and little me and we're all laughing at the same joke and I just am not seeing the neurotypical people in the room with the same cruelty and dismissiveness as what autistic people describe on tumblr

I can fully empathise how hard it is to shake childhood and lifelong damage from insidious stuff like what you're describing. I'm just not sure the tone I see on most autistic-centric posts are working on shaking it, I think they're wallowing. And it bothers me cos it's fucking sad, most people are fantastic!

I'm glad you mentioned that you do enjoy/don't struggle with most conversations you have these days! I also have some dud interactions throughout the week, but that's just personality clashes. Or the occasional racist 🙄. But most of it should be easy or fun, that's why we've culturally built polite interest small talk and referential shorthand jokes to show intimacy without invasiveness.

I guess it's a bit hard for me to hear that my attempts at being cheerful and causal and friendly might cause just stress in someone, and then I'd never know cos they go away to blog about it in anger. But I suppose I should get over that, if someone chooses not to talk to me about how I unknowingly make life difficult for them that's their choice and not my problem until I'm told

Cos I'm not gonna stop being cheerful and friendly just in case i confuse the odd someone, I'll be miserable and I'll feel cruel. But I am very sorry to think this sort of carry on could be unpleasant to anyone. I dunno, no fixes here of course ❤️❤️

[beesmygod]

old hunters DLC also highlights some themes of colonial violence and exploitation too, imo. what’s been done to the fishing village and kos ties the beast thing up with this idea that like, the impulse to Conquer and Dominate another leads directly to the Curse. It’s not enough to understand the old ones and the blood and all that, they needed to control it, to take it for themselves, and exploit it however they can. And now there’s wolfmans everywhere.

And this is in the core gameplay loop itself, we extract all the vials and blood echos and blood gems that we can in order to become strong enough to conquer more and more powerful prey. When we’re hit, we hit back harder and take back the life that was taken for us. Sure it’s ostensibly to Break the Curse and seek Paleblood and all that, but we know why we’re really doing it. Because it’s sick as hell, and feels awesome to best these monsters. The old hunters knew that too, and it turns them into giant horse creatures unable to do anything besides violence. That thirst for violence and power makes hunters turn into beasts, now only functioning as a cog in a perpetual violence machine. They lose their humanity not through repeated death like in Dark Souls, but through taking life. It turns the characters into monsters, and the players into wiki editors and lore theorists (aka monsters) bc we also can’t let go of the feeling Bloodborne gives us.

Tl;dr: Bloodborne is like if Spec Ops had any subtlety or desire to leave itself up to interpretation (probably helped by the fact that very little of what I’m talking about is likely intentional and I’m just insane)

OKAY im back from my appointment and finished my little treat. anon ("anon" @chicknparm who should get credit for these good thoughts) i could not agree more. i mentioned this in a previous post but finding a strand of commentary about the evils of colonialism made me worried i was becoming dangerously online, but it's a relief to see someone else mention this idea. i think you are absolutely right that one of the overt messages in bloodborne is that spilling blood for your own benefit leads to ruin. its actually kind of shocking how, in spite of the combat being the draw to these games, the message of most fromsoft games is a message of anti-violence. like, how many times do we end up fighting something that, in hindsight, needed to be put out of its misery. oh. shit. thinking about it, our player character is explicitly an outsider. the role of hunter of hunter is filled by outsiders...

also lol you are so right about the wiki based insanity but i think that's the consequences of insight poisoning. literally every once in a while while trying to edit this stupid bloodborne doc i think to myself "oooeergg too many eyes" and take a break for a few days

anyway, turning this back around to the colonialism theme, hear us out ok: watching/reading the sekiro lore videos/posts by shetani of shetani's lair helped introduce a lot of esoteric buddhist and shinto concepts that were totally novel and unknown to be as a baka gaijin. now these ideas are impossible not to see in all of from's other works.

i did a few days of research on "shinshi" (mostly a lot of stuff that turned out to not be relevant, but interesting) after becoming aware of them and found they shared a lot of qualities with the augurs (or "phantasms", invertebrates that act as intermediaries to the great ones) of bloodborne. realizing this, i thought about the great ones not in the context of a christian god, as the MODERN yharnam does, but as kami. kami are numerous, everywhere, hidden, and are thought of as actively controlling or influencing the terrestrial world. the re-translation reveals that the "great pthumeru chalice" had some nuance lost in translation: "祀る - Means to enshrine or worship, but has connotations of doing it to appease spirits so they may reach nirvana or Buddhahood and avoid becoming evil"; this is simply translated to "deify" which is technically correct but the original feels like it's much more pointed about finally revealing to the player that the "gods" as we've been lead to believe them to be are not what they seem.

the healing church, a product of georgian to victorian era western beliefs, razed pthumeru, loran, isz, and the fishing village (and probably yahar'gul too) in the quest to become like their newly discovered gods. the framework by which they related to pthumerian culture was completely wrong and misunderstood the nature of "gods" as all knowing or all powerful and, thus, something aspirational. the reality was more that they are just another type of creature in the world with different limitations than a human. and they're still mortal.

[torchickentacos]

21 and 22 for drew? or may if you’ve already been asked those ones about him!

From this ask game! LONG, under cut. Various off-topic musings included.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ok so disclaimer for the few people who read what I write- this may or may not translate into my end product. I try to keep it in mind but ultimately my fics kind of write themselves and I have minimal input tbh. I'm not steering this car, I just put my foot on the pedal. I make it go but the characters are the ones driving with reckless abandon.

Also these are all just my opinions and if anyone hates them, please don't let me know.

Something that I like doing when writing Drew is leaning into how much he thinks. I enjoy leaning into his internal dialogue, his hang-ups on every little thing, his propensity to dwell (in my characterization of him, anyways, which is, ehhh, give or take maybe 85% taken from canon and 25% bullshitted. My math is wrong but I'm not changing it, there's just an extra 15% of my own bullshit and we'll pretend it was intentional).

When writing him, there tends to be a lot more going on internally than when I write, idk, May or Ash or whoever. Drew's always attuned to the situation, picking things up and filing them away. He's always formulating opinions and thoughts and emotions that rarely make it out of his head. He feels a lot of things but generally they stay inward, whereas when writing someone like May, if she's feeling it, she's probably also expressing it regardless of if she should or not. No filter vs too much of a filter for his own good.

I think that, in a related vein, he's always holding himself back. Both vocally and just... kind of in general? Maybe not career-wise, but emotionally, he'd rather get close and then dart away over and over again instead of making any leaps. He's careful. He'd rather balance on a tightrope than take the fall USUALLY *(this is how I write him, and other portrayals are ones that I love! this is just what I do, not what I'm saying is the right thing). We see it in canon- he gives May roses but hides behind excuses. He starts conversations but leaves just as quickly. He's mercurial and never builds up the bravery that he needs. He's careful to the point of cowardice- and not just ship-wise. This can be used for any number of things, which I find fun. He likes being in control, and if he doesn't feel like he has a steady grasp on a situation, he leaves. And you can't control people's emotions, so that's scary, so he dips out from emotional moments unless something stronger keeps him there. It's a constant push-and-pull between his own mind and emotions. One's always trying to rein the other in and break free of the other at the same time.

He likes certainty. This contrasts well with a certain someone whose entire battle style features assist and metronome, which is built in uncertainty. She challenges him. But that's for another post.

Something I dislike writing is leaning into how much of a jerk he actually is in canon sometimes tbh. Canon can keep that- I do enjoy it situationally but overall I leave that to writers who are better at showing that side of him without making him grating. I prefer watering it down some and making him be annoying in different ways lol, which admittedly does actually close off a few interesting avenues and facets of him. But I think given the tumultuous nature of rival ships and fandom's current... propensity for tossing out words like 'romanticizing' and 'idolizing' and whatever else, I'd rather just leave well enough alone with the worse aspects of him and avoid being called a verbal abuse apologist or whatever 😭 I don't want any avenues for some jackass to be like 'oh ew you write m/f relationships where the man is mean and dominant over the poor woman' or whateverthefuck. TLDR, I'm a people pleaser with worn-thin patience for rival ship discourse.

I also lean towards AU/slice-of-life stuff where his rival jerkassery is less applicable to begin with, anyways. I am FULLY guilty of watering him down and making him nicer, but I'm self-aware, so... there's that, I guess, lol. I also think he'd chill out as he gets older, anyways, leaning more towards 'vaguely prickly and sardonic' than anything else.

Anyways, it's kinda weird to answer these when I never actually share my writing on this blog, but oh well. That privilege got revoked after someone was mean about my writing around me without knowing that it was mine, lol. It wasn't even good criticism (which baffles me because god knows they had material to work with), it was just general bitching about ship fics that aren't as complex as War and Peace. God forbid some people enjoy fluff. Send me to the corner of shame along with the few dozen people who liked my writing and the people who left kind comments. Anyways, it's funny now, but I still won't share writing here. The best way to support me is to support writers in general.

So! General call to action. Go find a fic for your favorite ship (or just any fic in general but I'm being petty and saying 'ship' since the rude person seemed to take issue with shipping) and leave a (NICE. 🔪) comment. Just a heart emoji if you feel like it. Tell writers when you reread their work, just a 'Hey! rereading and remembering how much I liked this one :)' or something. It'll keep them going for a week, I'm telling you. I still think about and reread every single comment that I have ever received. I keep them all copy-pasted in a google doc. It's 24 pages long and 11.2k and it makes me cry (in a good way).

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

This is going to sound so fucking backhanded but I LOOOOOVE reading fics where he has friends. I love reading him talking to Solidad or Gary or Ash or May as a friend or whoever else!!! Make him socialize!!!! it's fun! Lord knows that he doesn't do it enough and it shows. I like reading fics where he gets to interact with people that he doesn't talk to often in canon. So anyone but May pretty much. I love his horrendously down-bad tunnel vision where he only acknowledges May and literally nobody else, funny as hell, but also it'd have been so fun if he actually spoke to other people. I read a fic several years ago where he and Paul were sorta-work-friends, it was some 2014 assassin AU PS/CS/IS fic. but I remember that Drew would intentionally play coldplay songs around Paul to annoy him or something like that. They had a frenemies-bromance-coworkers thing going on and it was just DELIGHTFUL, if a little odd! That shit's hilarious! Let me see Drew bothering other people on purpose and joking with friends!

So. Things I don't like. I personally disagree with the early 2010s FFN portrayals of him as a casanova womanizer, BUT I also kind of love those portrayals for their sheer absurdity and the camp factor lmao. It's not even an ironic enjoyment, it's a genuine affection for that whole era of fics. It's the opposite of how I write him, but it's nostalgic to look back on old fanon. I also don't care for fics that break him and May up but that's obviously a personal bias that I've literally gone against myself on, lmao. It can be done well but sometimes it skirts into ship-bashing territory, usually at Drew's expense. Just because it's not a preference of mine doesn't mean that it's a bad thing to write! I'm just not the audience and that's okay, it's not a failing of the writer. I mentioned the person who disliked my fics and said so publicly, and that doesn't reflect on me. It reflects on their tastes. Same goes here. It's just not to my taste. It's subjective and not at all a statement on the quality or validity of a fic that includes those things.

[bomberqueen17]

Lotfus Bralette Sewalong: Construction 1

ok things I've learned: it'd be easier if I used a different fabric for main and lining, and it would be easy if that fabric had an obvious right and wrong side. Despite all my labeling and stickering and everything I *still* sewed a panel in wrong, and it was a nightmare making sure everything was mirror-imaged correctly.

All that said, I had to unpick a total of one seam (but unpicked two by accident, argh), and there's a sudden point where you have everything assembled and you're like..... none of this needs labels any more, and you have to peel them all off before you can continue. And it comes suddenly. So.

I'm not finished but I'm really near the end. It's a lot of fussy little sewing, but the seams are like ten inches long max, it really doesn't take very long.

This being my muslin, I have focused on getting everything put together and have not paid attention to seam finishing, trimming, grading, pressing etc. My next version, I will do those things, but I've omitted them from this version because I still don't know if the thing is going to fucking fit, I'm not topstitching something if I might have to tear it all back out, though let's be realistic I'm not going to disassemble this thing, if it turns out unwearable I'm just going to cut the notions off and start over. It's not that much fabric. I will make minor tweaks probably, but generally it is not going to be worth it to pull this apart. (Exception: if it's too large I would cut seams off and sew it smaller. But it will not be too large, I already know that from the approximate shove-my-boob-meat-into-a-half-of-it not-exactly-try-on-- it is certainly not too big, but I can't tell if it's too small because without the elastic and fasteners it's not pulled closely enough to me to be sure. It feels like there's not enough fabric to go around, but I know the wide band elastic covers a lot of territory, so I'm reserving judgement.)

So. How far did I get? Well.

[img description: this is the cluttered basement setup. Image shows a blue rubbermaid tote lid with a tall rim leaning on a pile of stuff on a cluttered desk, and on the lid is a Kindle with the sewing instructions loaded up, one half of the bra cup assembled, several pattern pieces, and next to the rim is a large box of yellow-headed quilting pins.]

I sent this setup photo to my family groupchat when we were discussing what we're doing with our weekends. (One younger sister is camping in Vermont with husband and kid, the other was gardening and found a big shed snakeskin which was cool, Mom was visiting a brew pub in fort edward and sent a photo of what looked like a pole to me and said "there's edward" and i don't get the joke, and the oldest sister had just taken her daughter to get her ears pierced, which among our people is a sign of young adulthood. Not that it's relevant to the sewalong but this is my blog after all, LOL.)

I had to unpick a seam but progress was quick after that.

[image description: an assemblage of fabric, with a pin in it, going through the throat plate of a sewing machine. The lower fabric is pink, the top fabric white. Both are decorated with Sharpie marks around the edge. The pink is nonstretch nylon tricot, the white is heavy duty powermesh.]

When it came time to attach the powerbar to the cup lining, I felt that the video sewalong had said to have the powermesh side up. The issue here is that the bra cup and lining are non-stretch fabric, as the pattern is written, and the powerbar and back band are stretch fabric, specifically powermesh (which has superior recovery to other stretch fabrics and so is indispensible in bras and compression garments). And attaching stretch to nonstretch is always a little bit of a nightmare, and generally is inadvisable, but bras break the rules in many ways and that's why so many of us are intimidated about bras.

I discovered immediately that sewing with the nonstretch side against the feed dogs and the stretch side against the presser foot was a NO GO. The stretch fabric would get pulled by the presser foot wildly out of shape, and I kept having to raise the presser foot and shove at the fabric to keep it aligned, and I kept wobbling my seam all over the place and it was awful. So I flipped it over and put the stretch fabric against the feed dogs instead, and then had zero further issues. I have not re-checked the sewalong, and the pattern instructions do not specify, but for my own reference, always put the stretch fabric against the feed dogs, that is unambiguously what worked here.

I also broke my anti-topstitching-on-muslins stance here and did topstitch the seam after I attached the back band to the cups. I wasn't doing it anywhere else, but I think it's necessary there, to hold everything down. There's gonna be SO much strain on that seam.

[image description: a pale pink, quite substantial bra, though it only looks fully assembled, lying on the talbe in front of a sewing machine. There's no center gore so it's only arranged as if assembled. But the cups are visibly partly self-supporting, because they're now three layers of fabric, so they're approximately boob-shaped, and hilariously fleshtoned in this light, I did not think this through.]

I got this far, both cups and linings assembled, with the powermesh in the middle. And then I had to make the center gore, which didn't go together the way I expected at all. You sew it in two halves, and then sew the halves together, which I had not expected and could not make myself understand. I did it, and then re-watched the sewalong afterward, and i'm still not sure I did it right, but mine did go on and looks right so I guess even if I did do something not the way the sewalong suggests I did it right enough that it works.

The frustrating thing is that you make the center gore and then set it aside, though, LOL. So I had to make it, then put the neck elastic on, and then check again.

I was SO confused by the elastic. You sew it on right sides together, and then flip it to the inside of the bra and topstitch it from the outside. So you want to sew it in such a way that just a little edge of it, which may or may not have decorative picots because it depends what you bought, will overhang when you flip it. So you want to sew it down along the MARKED SEW LINE on your strap, and if there's a bunch of extra wobbly edges and shit, sew to the inside of that, and you can trim them off after. This is where you compensate for wobbly cutting and wobbly sewing and wobbly putting-layers-together, and it's brilliant.

I didn't do it right but I will next time now that I understand that. And Jenn from Porcelynne *does* explain that, explicitly, in the sewalong, but I watched the sewalong ahead of time and couldn't remember in the moment. So this is me reinforcing it: your whole neckline edge, sew that elastic just so and once you flip it, it will look like you lined everything up perfectly. And you don't have to stretch as you sew for the whole strap bit, and there's only a tiny bit of stretching as you sew down around the cup, and it ends right where your powerbar came in, so it's a nice continuous band of stretch all the way around your boob.

And THEN you stick the center gore in, sandwiched, before you flip the elastic, and it looks weird as hell and no way could this be right. But then once you flip the thing, sure enough, there's just a cute decorative bit of elastic between the cup and center gore, and it looks good as hell.

(I mean, it doesn't on my muslin, but it will when I make a nice version. My muslin is hideous LOL, and I'm not worried in the slightest.)

[image description: an expanse of pale pink fabric with disconcertingly peach-colored elastic running down the middle of it.]

That's what the elastic looks like topstitched down, and there's the center gore with a big sharpie mark down the middle because i meant to turn that bit to the inside but put it in backwards. Oh well.

and this is the back, where the elastic's sewn down: if I was doing a finished one, I could trim off all those odd little bits sticking out where the three layers of fabric didn't quiiiiite go together evenly, and it would look finished and polished and lovely.

[image description: a bit of pale pink fabric flipped to the back. The peach elastic at the top has a couple wobbly lines of stitching on it, and some sharpie-bordered white fabric is sticking out and looks wobbly and terrible, and there are unclipped loose gray threads from construction everywhere.]

I'm not even saving that much time by making the muslin shitty, LOL. I'm just figuring, I need to see how it goes together before I get hung up on the cute details. I have enough of this exact fabric to use it again, but I also have a cute kit, a bunch of salvaged notions, and an intense desire to use a whole variety of other nontraditional bra fabrics, so I'm not that worried.

I should buy cuter elastic though. Elastic can't really be salvaged, not nicely. I'll have to pick up some cute stuff with decorative picots and whatnot. The supply list doesn't specify that you need picots, but then the instructions assume you have them, which confused me. The point is, you should sew the elastic at a point where some of it will protrude past the turned edge, because that's the correct look and function, and you should buy elastic that's not too scratchy.

I know a lot of people are concerned with bras being scratchy. I personally have never been irritated by the seams or fabric of a bra, but I HAVE been wildly irritated by the edge of the hook-and-eye band, the tips of side boning if there is any, and the STRAP elastic being shitty. So I will be focusing my energies on those.

I'm also thinking about making a bra in one layer, with binding over the seams and the powerbar made of stretch lace with a decorative edge, and put on the exterior of the single layer. That would be possible. The two-layer construction of this is kind of bulky and I get why it's like that, but my heavy-duty chestmeats aren't necessarily that heavy-duty.

I'm also going to make this in knit fabric, and am perusing all the Cashmerette Club discussion boards (where much of the pattern design team does lurk) for pointers on alternate materials and such, and I'll compile what I learn and post it here don't worry. (The number one thing is that if you make it in knits, size down one cup size. The number two thing is that if you make it with a fabric that stretches, match the stretch between the outer and lining fabric, it HAS to be the same. And example one is a fellow-commenter told me she made the whole thing in powermesh, sized down one cup size as per recommendation, and it worked perfectly. So we have that as a datapoint.)

(I don't love powermesh for its own merits but I cannot deny, it recovers perfectly, until it doesn't and you throw the bra out, so from a functional standpoint, it's The Thing to use. I'm taking apart old bras for notions and that's the thing I see-- when the powermesh went, I had to stop wearing that bra. But most of them, I busted the underwire channeling or the hooks first. Because they were DDs and I was a J, mostly, but. Hey. Yeah some other time I'll write a post about my horrible struggles with bras and how long I spent with everyone telling me it wasn't possible to be more than a DD and i must be having a body wrong somehow.)

ANYhoo.

I had to stop to make dinner after attaching the neckband elastic and center gore. So at some point today I will venture back down and keep working. The next step is the underarm elastic, and then the straps, and then the hook and eye closure, and then it's done. So I'm pretty close really, but my cat just got into my lap so I won't be headed down there imminently, LOL.

cat tax:

[image description: a white lady in a chair heavily overshadowed by a small gray cat with a white chest patch in the foreground looking extremely smug]

She's helping me post.

[nyx22-blogs]

Imagine Being Ben's Little Sister And Having A Huge Crush On Riley Poole But He Thinks He's Too Old/Nerdy For You So He Never Made A Move And Always Tried To Keep Distance Between You Two

A/N: Yes yes I've thought and dreamt of this ok leave me alone 😭

Warnings: Angstiness but barely, shy Riley bc that is a warning, like the tiniest bit of swearing

Another A/N: Sorry lol I read somewhere (probably not a trustable site-) that Riley was born in the 1970's and since National Treasure was made in 2004 I'm just gonna assume he was born in 1976 and he's 28. Reader would be 20 in this case. 😬

Italicized sentences represent past events/conversations. •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

When your older brother Ben has called wou while you were at work and asked you for help, you were surprised to say the least. I mean you knew where he was and knew what he did but you never thought you'd be treasure hunting as well.

When you did get there you got along really well with everyone else. You always thought it was a shame Ian had gone rogue. He was a good friend to you.

But your favorite part of the entire process was getting to know Riley Poole.

He was so amazing, and a huge asset to the team. And maybe you harbored a gigantic small crush on him. I mean who could blame you? He was so smart, sarcastic, funny, and just so adorable.

Early on Ben had figured out your crush on Riley, he was your big brother after all. He knew you best.

"Wait wait wait, if you like Riley just tell-"

"BEN! SHHH- he might hear you, you ding dong!"

You were quite obvious when it came to having a crush on Riley, even though it wasn't intentional. Abigail knew, Ben knew, unfortunately your dad knew, but you weren't quite sure if Riley knew.

"Dad." Ben said

Where's the party?

Uh, well, uh...

I'm in a little trouble.

Is she pregnant?

Well, if she is are you gonna leave the woman carrying your grandchild standing out in the cold?

You all walked in your dad's house and Riley found his way on the couch while Ben and Abigail headed to the kitchen. Your dad had pulled you to a corner to ask a question.

"What the hell are you, Ben and your boyfriend doing here? And who's that girl?"

"I- he's not my boyfriend dad he's Riley. And that girl is Abigail."

He looked at you as if you were lying, sighed and went back to the living room.

Pointing at Ben your dad had said, "And he dragged you two into this?"

"Literally."

"I volunteered." You smiled widely at that, how dare he sound so cute saying something so basic.

"Well, unvolunteer, before you waste your life."

"Knock it off, Dad." You and Ben said at the same time.

"Sure, sure, I know, I'm the family kook. I have a job, a house, health insurance. At least I had your mother, for however brief a time. At least I had you. What do you have? Him?"

"Dad!" You said, starting to get annoyed. You could see why he was mad, and he had a reason to be. That didn't mean he needed to talk to Riley like that.

You remembered that same night you guys had taken your dad's car and drove off. You felt bad for taking him to the chair but at least he agreed to it..

Ben and Abigail were in the front of the car and you and Riley were in the back.

It took a lot of convincing on your part to assure him that it was ok that the both of you guys laid down together in the back.

"I'm hungry. This car smells weird." He whined sleepily.

You giggled and shushed him. Since he was pretty much laying on top of you, you stroked his nose gently until you saw him fall asleep. As you started to fall asleep yourself you felt his arms tighten slightly around your waist and he nuzzled into you a bit more.

"Hmm, g'night love." He said so quietly you barely even heard it. Those three words were your last thoughts before you fell asleep with Riley in your arms.

This happened two days ago, and currently you, your brother, Abby as she now allowed you to call her, and Riley were taking a break in a pretty field Abby had spotted.

You so desperately wanted to talk to Riley about everything but you were afraid he'd dismiss you. You didn't want to make your friendship with him weird.

You watched as Ben and Abigail walked up to a farther end of the field. Just before they were out of sight you got a text message from Ben.

Tell him now before I kick you. Love you. You got this.

You rolled your eyes affectionately and answered back.

You think he'll say yes?

How the hell would I know? Ask him and you'll find out.

Wow so supportive big bro.

Hey now, he cares for you we all know that. It'll be fine, do it now.

Ok. Love you too.

"Hey.. Riley?"

"Yeah?" He said while typing on his laptop.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Uh- yeah sure." He set his laptop aside and turned to face you. Blue eyes attentive and making you more nervous by the second.

"I uhm- well I wanted to ask- well no I just uhm. I wanted to know if you remembered what you told me when you fell asleep on me in my dad's car."

"Uhm..I was hungry and the car smelled weird? Which it did by the way."

"Well yeah but after..you were telling me goodnight and..."

"And...?"

"And..you called me something.."

"I don't uhm- know what you're talking about."

"RileyIlikeyou." You blurted out.

"I- god I know..I know you like me y/n.."

"So then why didn't you ever-"

"Because y/n look at you. You have your whole life ahead of you ok? You're young and smart and so incredibly beautiful it's ridiculous and I really really like you but you and I don't make sense. Ok you're 20 and I'm pushing 30's right now."

"Riley..I don't care about that."

"Well- I do. What would everyone say?"

"Nobody would say anything Riley."

"I- I want this to work..but I'm scared of what'll happen if it doesn't. I care about you y/n..I don't want to lose you.

"Riley you won't lose me." You scooted closer to him and he wrapped an arm around your waist.

"So..are we- you know." He said

"Well yeah, I guess we should probably everyone know before someone gets a heart attack at possible nicknames or PDA." You said chuckling at that thought.

Riley laughed at that.

"Alright then sweetheart who should we start with?" He said dragging out the new nickname.

"My dad?" You said with a teasing smirk, wiggling your eyebrows at him.

"Y/n no, your dad terrifies me."

"Fine. How about my mom?"

"No-"

"Ben and Abby?"

"Yes, yes let's do that." He said and you smiled.

Your phone buzzed again and you checked it while sitting next to Riley.

See, told you it'd work out. Ding dong.

Shut up Ben.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Was it bad? Maybe. Do I care? Yes. Lol let me know.

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