#lol my mom said my fingers looked shorter with them on
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I think itâs fun that my rings make my hands look more masculine
#like itâs jewelryâŚ#anyway#itâs bc 4/6 of them are spinner rings#and so theyâre kinda chunky#and they make my hands less dainty looking I guess???#lol my mom said my fingers looked shorter with them on#anyway anyway#my head hurts!!#I wish it didnât!!#and I forgot the GI camera thing I have to do tomorrow#is gonna take like four hours#đŤ đŤ đŤ #also canât believe I feel like wearing a skirt and makeup#makeup I feel like wearing more often but a skirt???#lately itâs been out of the picture#idk man I just donât wanna wear my shorts or my pants#neither of them fit me and so they end up sliding out from my belt#and itâs just annoying and uncomfortable
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch3. domestic encounters
á° pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
á° summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, n have been taking care of your sick mom ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
á° genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, mild love triangle(s), gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
á° warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
á° chapter. 3/x (probably 10)
á° word count. 14.1k (i like this number)
a/n. hello hellooo my ihm bb's :'') so good to see you all again. so this is actually the first half of an original 26k word chapter 3 that i had written lmfaooo i genuinely entertained the idea of posting a 26k word chapter but like gat damn. idk i thought it would be too much. so there is this first part which is 14k and then the next chapter will be 12k! anywho, this chapter was fun to write, there's still a lot of set-up tho hahah. ihm has been really fun to write for me cuz it's kinda chaotic but chill at the same time lol :0 i really hope you enjoy!! see ya at the bottom!!
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 (pending)
âSooooâŚ..ready to consummate the marriage?â
You turn fast on your heel, so fast that Gojo almost trips over his own Welcome mat at his doorstep in an attempt to not accidentally topple over you, which youâre sure by the sheer size he has on you wouldâve killed you or at the very least paralyzed you from the neck down, so itâs a good thing his hands fly out of his pockets then brace himself on the wood paneling above the door.Â
âWhaââ you stutter, âwhat?!â
He stands up straight before leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms, the sleeve fabric of his suit stretching across thick muscle but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of looking. âThe marriage technically isnât valid unless we consummate it.â
You roll your eyes and dig your finger into your heel to take it off and then do the same with your other, relishing in the freedom of your feet from the shackles of constrictive feminine clothing articles, although youâre a solid two and a half inches shorter again. âI would rather make love to one of those inflatable balloon salesmen at car dealerships that flail and flap around in the wind than let you touch me for the purpose of sex.â
âFuck thatâs harsh,â he laughs, like heâs genuinely impressed by the comeback this time, âso a dead bedroom then, huh?â
âCanât be dead if it was never alive in the first place,â you mumble as you tread into his house and toss the documents envelope you had been holding onto the coffee table. You hear Gojo make his way across the hardwood floor behind you paired with the metal clanking of keys as he throws them into the paper mache bowl on the foyer table.Â
âBy the way,â you hear him say, and you turn your torso slightly to side eye him only to see that heâs casually taking his suit jacket off with a flip of it backwards, âwho was that guy in the courtroom that was glaring daggers into my soul?â
Your eyes widen briefly. And then you sigh. âMy ex.â
He pulls the jacket off behind him by the sleeves and tosses it onto the loveseat. âHuhhh. You used to date a cop? You donât seem like the type.â
âWhat?â you say as you face him fully. Heâs loosening his tie now with a tug. âWhy not?â
âYouâre kindaâŚdelinquent. Figured a cop would like a more âdocileâ woman,â he says.
âYou sound creepy as fuck,â you say, grimacing a little as you narrow your eyes at him.
He sighs before tossing his tie off to the side as well. âI donât agree with it. Iâm just getting into their headspace. Everyone knows how cops are. Yâknow, controlling.â
âChoso is different,â you immediately spat back at him, before your head can even run the words through a filter, and you realize it came off as defensive. Your cheeks warm, because now it looks like youâre not over your ex. And you want to be. Why were you still protecting Chosoâs dignity?
Gojo blinks at you, a little surprised before he swallows slowly and he holds his hands up in front of him in surrender. âAlright. I believe you.â
You turn away from him and worry your bottom lip between your teeth, feeling awkward before you scratch your elbow and then turn back to face him again. âWell. If you run into him around town,â you say, âcan you try to make him feel emasculated and jealous? He did me dirty.â
Gojo runs a hand through his hair. âUhhh. How?â
âI dunno,â you shrug, âbrag about how great our sex life is or something.â
âBut we have a sexless marriage.â
âOh, yes, speaking of this sexless marriage,â you start, jutting your hip out to the side as you cross your arms sternly, âthere are some ground rules that need to be set between you and I.â You point between the two of you.
âGround rules?â he mimics after you as he undoes the top couple buttons of his white dress shirt, âlike what?â
You hold a finger up. âLike no touching.â You hold another finger up. âObviously, no sex.â You hold another finger up. âNo sneaking into my room in the middle of the night.â You hold another finger up. âNo peeping in on me while Iâm showering.â You hold another finger up. âNo ogling me around the houââ
âThese rules sound incredibly one-sided,â he snorts.Â
âYeah, well, donât break them, you creep.â
âAnd if I catch you ogling me around the house?â he asks.Â
You roll your eyes. âSuch a thing will not happen.â
âUh-huh, uh-huh,â he sarcastically affirms, and he approaches you which makes you flinch a little but you realize heâs just walking past you towards the living room.
âYââ you stutter, âyou heard me, right? Once I start living here, you have to adhere to these rules.â
He waves his hand in the air dismissively with his back facing you. âYes maâam.â
Your eye twitches slightly, and you storm towards him only to watch him slump down onto his couch, knees spread wide as he leans forward with a small grunt to grab the remote off the coffee table before settling back again. He lays an arm up and stretched across the backrest of the couch before he turns the TV on and scrolls through news channels.Â
You make your way in front of him, obstructing the view of the TV, and he leans off to the side to try to catch a glimpse at the screen but you reposition your body so that he still canât see it. His eyes slowly move to you and he has an irritated look on his face.Â
âIâm tryna watch CNN,â he says.Â
âPunishment,â you say, âfor breaking any of these rules will be severe.â
He raises an eyebrow, interested all of a sudden as he tosses the remote back onto the coffee table and leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees. âOh? Whatâs the punishment?â
Honestly, you donât know. You just want to threaten him to keep him in line. Forget the fact that heâs the one doing you the favor here with this marital arrangement, and yet youâre threatening him. But it has to be done. âYou donât want to find out,â you say, trying to sound as eerie as possible.
âNot knowing what it is makes me want to find out,â he tells you, his knee swaying side to side like a dog wagging its tail.Â
You briefly glance down, and for fucks sake why is all of his clothing so perfectly fit and stretched taut whenever he does anything? You try not to eye the shape of his thighs as the black fabric stretches while heâs seated.
You clench your fists at your side, worry your bottom lip under your front teeth, furrow your brow and blink rapidly from not being able to come up with something to say, and Gojo seems to read this as worry before he laughs a little.
âDonât worry,â he says, âIâm not gonna break any of your silly rules, despite how tempting it might sound to me.â
âI donât believe you,â you mutter as you walk around the couch towards the kitchen, feeling thirsty all of a sudden.Â
âSeriously. I wonât. Youâre not my type,â he says from behind you on the couch, with a tone that tells you heâs trying to sound reassuring but it really just pisses you off even more, âI donât really go after women with daddy issues.â
âWhaââ you gasp, offended, and you spin on your heel to glare at the back of his head. âWho the fuck said I have daddy issues?!?!â
âNo one has to say it, I can feel it,â he says as he continues to clicks through channels.
You pick an avocado up out of the pile of fruits from the bowl at the center of the island, holding it over your shoulder to charge up as much kinetic energy as possible so you can chuck it at him hard enough to knock him unconscious, and itâs like he senses the malice radiating off of your body because he looks over his shoulder at you.
âWhatâs that in your hand?â he asks.
âA grenade,â you say, âthat Iâm gonna launch at you.â
âOh, thank god,â he exhales in relief, âI almost thought it was an avocado for a second.â
You deadpan stare at him. âI don't find you funny.â
âI think Iâm pretty funny,â he says mindlessly, like heâs just arguing with you for the sake of arguing.
âNo. I have never once laughed at a single thing youâve ever said. Only grimaced with disgust,â you say.
He sighs. âLook at us. Weâve barely been married for an hour and weâre already fighting.â
You abandon your empty glass on the counter, shuffling around the corner towards the front entrance of the house because you can feel the headache from your pure annoyance starting to creep up on you. You sense Gojoâs eyes on you from the couch as you shove your feet back into the uncomfortableness of your heels.Â
âWhere are you going?â he asks.Â
âBack to my house,â you grumble, wobbling a little when you take a step towards the door and place your hand on the handle.
âWhen are you gonna move in?â he asks suddenly.
You freeze in your tracks at his question. Youâve never heard the question before, because youâve never had the chance to live anywhere that wasnât your childhood home next door. So the question is jarring at best, and threatens to make you cry a little at worst.Â
âOnce I get my mom into hospice,â you say, quiet enough to where itâs possible he might not have even been able to hear it over the sound of presidential election updates. And then you make your way out of his house.Â
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
Itâs a beautiful sunny spring morning, clouds trailing by across the sky offering momentary relief from the heat reaching the pavement, and youâve got a good marching band walk going on as you stroll down the sidewalk of your neighborhood for your morning walk. Well, that phrase implies that you go on morning walks often. You really donât, you very rarely have the time or energy. But today you decided it was time to turn your life around (your running shoes will see you same time next month).Â
You hear some commotion off at the right side of the street, and when you lift your head up a little to clear the obstructed view of your sun visor, you see a couple of cops standing on a lawn, chatting up your elderly women neighbors with their laughter bolstering in the air. One of the cops turns around, making eye contact with you, andâ Â of fucking course, itâs Choso.
âOh, fuck me,â you mutter under your breath and try to walk faster down the sidewalk in Korean ahjumma style.Â
âHey! y/n! Wait!â you hear him call out and he jogs across the street to catch up with you.
You continue to military march down pavement. âWhat do you want, Choso? Why are you stalking me?â
He runs up in front of you to stop you in your tracks. You frown at him and cross your arms across your chest. âIâm not stalking you,â he says, âI got a call about a stray dog out here.â
âOh. Wonderful. So glad to know our officers are keeping us safe from cute street dogs,â you say, tone dripping with sarcasm.
âThe dog had rabies. It bit an old man. Had to put it down,â he deadpans.
âO-Oh,â you stutter, cheeks flushing, âwell, then, leave? Your job here is done.â
âI justââ he starts, âI want toââ He sighs, looking flustered like heâs trying to gain some sort of courage. And youâre almost entirely certain he didnât need to garner this much courage to face a rabid dog than he seems to be needing for you. âI, uh, I want to meet your husband.â
âW-What??â you exasperate.
âTo say congrats,â he says, but through gritted teeth.
You roll your eyes. âYeah fucking right. You just wanna abuse your po-po powers to arrest him then throw him into jail then kill him to leave me widowed so that Iâll get back together with you and make a fool out of myself all over again.â
âYour capacity for catastrophization never fails to amaze me,â he says.
Youâre pretty sure your therapist said something similar to you last week, too.Â
âAhhh!! y/n!!â you hear a familiar feminine voice call from down the street, and both you and Choso turn your heads toward the source of the sound.
Amaya, your neighbor, who is roughly thirty-weeks pregnant at the moment and therefore waddling down the street to get to you, is waving her arms in the air as her husband as well as another one of your neighbors follows after her. She finally reaches you and takes your hands into hers. âI havenât seen you in forever!! Howâs your mom doing?â
âSheâs doing wellâŚjust getting by,â you say awkwardly, as Chosoâs cop partner also approaches this little group thatâs forming here, along with the elderly neighbors that he had been talking to.Â
âDoctors taking good care of her?â Amayaâs husband, Ren, asks you with a twisted expression on his face and arms tightly crossed over his chest like he was gonna beat the doctors up if they werenât.Â
âYesâŚâ you say, âalthough, I think Iâll be transferring her care to Kaiser.â Oh. Fuck. You shouldâve kept that to yourself. Big mouth.
You can feel Chosoâs eyes on you as he watches this interaction between you and your neighbors.Â
âOh! Thatâs interesting,â Amaya says, and as her hands soothe over yours, she feels the bump of the ring on your left hand. She glances down. âH-Huh??? Is this a wedding ring?!â
Choso crosses his arms and tucks his hands under his armpits in your periphery.
âYâŚyeeeeesssâŚâ you say awkwardly.
âYouâve finally married?â your elderly neighbors chirp out at the same time.
You shoot them a dirty look over the word finally. âYes.â Please drop the subject, please drop the subject.
But Amaya has always been the gossipy nosy neighbor. âTo who??â
Choso snaps his face to you, intently studying your body language. You take a deep breath.
âI-I didnât tell you?? I married Satoru!!â you chirp, as if it was a normal thing.
âEhhh?!â you hear multiple of your neighborsâ voices call out.Â
âYou married Satoru??? But you hate him!!â Amaya blurts out, her voice loud and echoing down the street of the neighborhood.
âIââ you stammer, ducking your head a little to hide behind your visor, âum, oh, yâknowâŚthose feelings justâŚsnuck up on me!â
âAwwww good for youuu,â Amaya coos, and one of your elderly neighbors comes up to you with a cheeky smile to then rubs your arm approvingly, âheâs sooooo handsome, youâre so lucky!!â
Ren lets out a hmph over his wifeâs flattery of another man, and you roll your eyes, wanting to put Gojo in his place even in the face of just your neighbors, but then you remember that a loving wife wouldnât say something like his personality makes him an ugly rat.Â
âBut when did this happen?â Chosoâs partner speaks up, his voice accusatory. Choso hits his partnerâs chest vest with the back of his hand, as if to say cut it out.
You feel pissed off at that.
âOh yeahhh, you and Choso only recently broke up!â Amaya says, pointing between the two of you.
You purse your lips together from the anxiety of this entire conversation. âThree weeks ago. Choso and I broke up three weeks ago,â you say, not even sure why youâre disclosing your personal matters to this group of congregated people, but the peer pressure was damning, and youâre pretty sure silence on this subject in front of your neighbors would only make Choso more suspicious, âandââ you had to get your story straight, âwellâŚwithin those three weeks, Satoru and I justâŚgot to know each other.â
âEh?â Ren speaks up. âBut he was out of town for two weeks. He only came back a week and a half ago.â
You blink at him.
âOhhh yes, yes, thatâs right, honey,â Amaya agrees with a slow nod in remembrance as she pats her husband's chest, âthose chocolates he brought us were from London, right?â
Choso tilts his head at you, giving you a glare with the intent of having you crack under this pressure, because youâve just been caught in a cold hard lie. More importantly, how the fuck did you not notice that Satoru had been gone for TWO WEEKS??? He was your next door neighbor. Youâve seriously been so damn out of it these days. Also, why the fuck didnât he get you chocolates from London?!?!?! The fucking snake.Â
âA marriage within three weeks is a little odd, no?â Chosoâs partner speaks up, but with less of a casual conversation tone and more of a I sense something illegal going on here tone.
âAlright, alright, alright,â Choso sighs, taking a step to stand in front of you. âLetâs all get on with our days. She doesnât have to share any information she doesnât want to.â
You blink in surprise at Chosoâs words, of which all your neighbors acknowledge albeit slightly reluctantly as they wave goodbye to you and start dispersing back to their homes. Chosoâs partner gets some notice through his radio, and he pulls it from the velcro of his chest to speak into it before heading back to their cop car with a slight jog. Once everyone is gone and itâs just you and Choso again, he turns around to face you. His arms are still crossed at his chest while he wears a very skeptical and almost reprimanding look on his face.
âWhat are you up to, y/n?â he immediately asks you, and you feel goosebumps tickle your skin even in the heat. âI really hope itâs not something fishy. Or illegal.â
You swallow hard. You know the U.S. federal codes in the law for marital & insurance fraud like the back of your hand, since you read through them hundreds of times before deciding if your arrangement with Gojo would be worth it. 8 U.S.C. 1033 and 18 U.S.C. 371 provide for a penalty of up to ten years in prison for insurance fraud. And under that statute, you can also be fined up to $250,000. The best case scenario is that you just have to divorce Gojo, and forfeit your chances of ever recovering from your crippling debt. And while itâs hard to prove marital fraud, Choso had reason for a personal vendetta against you, and he has the resources to launch an investigation.Â
âWhy would I do something illegal??â you ask, as if to convince him that the possibility was absurd.Â
He takes a step closer to you, and your breathing picks up. âPeople do illegal things all the time,â he says, âfor the thrill, out of curiosity,â another step closer, âthe most common reason that Iâve seen?â Heâs so close to you now that you catch the familiar scent of his skin. âDesperation.â
You catch a small gasp of air from his imposition in your personal space, and finally, your weak legs manage to take you a step back.Â
âI really donât know what youâre talking about here,â you say with a shaky voice.
He raises an eyebrow at you. And then he sighs. âStay out of trouble.â
Your eye twitches at him, annoyance resurging but you have to bite your tongue for self preservation. Gojoâs words about cops liking more docile women ring in your ears for a brief moment, and you have to physically shake your head to get his voice out of it.Â
His partner yells for him from his car, something about a call they got for a robbery downtown, and Choso spares you a warning look before he turns on his heel and jogs back to the car. The sound of police sirens mimic the panic in your beating heart as you watch them speed off down the street and out of sight.
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
You pull into your neighborhood at the early hours of the morning, skin feeling dry and eyes feeling heavy with exhaustion as you yank your hospital badge clip off your scrub top to toss onto the passenger seat along with your stethoscope, releasing it from your neck like pulling a noose loose.Â
Before your shift last night, you had to take your mom to the hospital because she was have shortness of breath, and her oxygen saturation was low on her pulse oximeter. Sheâs stable now, it was just yet another flare up of her COPD, but given her other risk factors, the hospitalist admitted her to monitor her overnight and through to the evening today if all goes well. Which meant that you could have the house to yourself for once. It might sound selfish to say, because shouldnât the more dominant feeling be I hope my mom will be okay, but the reality was that thereâs only so much of that worry you can have at a time. It doesnât mean youâre not thinking of her literally every second of the day. It just means youâre human.Â
The weirdest thing about working the night shift is seeing everyone elseâs days start while yours is just ending. Thereâs a bit of satisfaction with it. Like imagining laughing at their faces ha ha! You have to go to work now at seven in the morning, meanwhile I get to sleep! as if working the night shift doesnât lead to substantially higher rates of cardiovascular disease and other chronic illness, as well as an early death. So who really got the last laugh? Day shift workers. Literally.
It wasnât something you did because you liked working the night shift. You do it because you get paid a 20% differential for it. And you need all the money you can get right now.
Your brain seems to be working more than usual if youâre able to think about all these things after a shift. Swiftly pulling into the driveway of your home, around the hull of Gojoâs obnoxious boat in the driveway, you get out of your car with your purse hanging from your shoulder and just before you shut the door, you see one of your elderly neighbors waving at you from across the street. Youâre pretty sure her name is Margaret, but youâre awful with names. You do remember that she was in the posse of neighbors that were flocking you yesterday and asking you pushy questions about your marriage in the presence of Choso. And your body stiffens a little.Â
She tilts her head at you as you stand in your driveway, and you awkwardly glance over at Gojoâs house.
âOops!â you chirp from across the street, âalways forget to pull into the Hubbyâs driveway instead! Silly me!!â
You grab your emergency overnight stay bag from the back of your car and hurry over to Gojoâs house, knocking on the door incessantly and ringing the bell so as to not arouse any more suspicion from your neighbors about why two married people arenât living together. âForgot my keys!! Hahahhahaha,â you exclaim while your pounding on the door intensifies. Youâre sure you're just being paranoid, because why would sweet old lady Margaret (Janice? Patricia?) snitch on you? But youâve been paranoid all your life. Itâs one of your fatal flaws.Â
The door opens suddenly, right as you were about to pound harshly once again, and you stop the motion in time to not sock Gojo in the abdomen with your fist. He blinks down at you, his face a little puffy from sleep, his hair shooting out in all different directions, and he scratches at his chest through the thin cotton of his shirt, one he clearly threw on last minute before opening the door considering the fact that he put it on backwards. And inside-out.Â
âHuh? y/n?â he mumbles, his voice deep and kind of raspy with sleep, âwhat are you doing here?â
âJust let me in,â you hiss at him, glancing over your shoulder to your elderly neighbor's lawn for a second, and then duck under his arm that was holding the door open to get inside the house.
You turn around to see him shrug his shoulders and slowly close the door, clearly too tired to deal with the bullshit this early in the AM, and he turns around to face you before leaning back onto the surface. His eyes close, like heâs trying to preserve the sleepy feeling for when he gets back into bed.
âCan I help you?â he says. His head falls back with a small thump to rest on the door.
âIâm going to sleep here for the night. Er, for the day,â you say. âI will move in starting today.â
âOkay,â he easily agrees.
You blink at him. âUm. Show me to my room.â
âYeah, sure,â he says, scratching the back of his neck as he heads for the stairs with the shuffle of his slippers across the hardwood floor. You note that he is very easily malleable and overall smooth brained when heâs sleepy. You try to ignore the fact that you find it kinda cute.Â
You follow him up the stairs and he leads you across the loft into a hallway studded with a couple of doors. He opens one of them for you, his head drifting a little like heâs about to fall back asleep. âHere you go,â he says while gesturing inside the bedroom and rubbing his eye with a weakly closed fist, âguest bedroom. Uh, thereâs another one near the master too thatâs a bit bigger, but this one has a lock on the door. So that I donât sneak into your room in the middle of the night.â
âThanks,â you accept and head inside. You set your emergency overnight stay bag on the bed and then turn around to face the door to find Gojo still standing in the frame. He has his hands pushed into the pockets of his pajama pants as he squints at you.Â
You feelâŚa littleâŚnervous? Shy? Who the fuck were you to be shy in front of Gojo? You really donât give a damn what he thinks about you, since a lion does not concern itself with the opinions of a sheep (youâve been doing reruns of Game of Thrones this past week), but starting today, youâll be in his territory, and this whole situation is so domestic that you feel vulnerable in front of him. Like the sheep somehow managed to splay the lion open this time, and now the real you is on display for him. Youâre suddenly self conscious of the unruly state of your hair and the stains of IV fluid on your black scrubs and the fact that the allegedly flake-proof mascara you put on at the beginning of your shift has long since flaked all over your cheeks.
âUm. Can you leave?â you say in a small voice.
âHuh?â he responds, like he himself forgot that he was still standing there. âOh. Yeah. Sorry.â He lets out a very long exhale. âMake yourself at home.â And then, still facing you, he walks off to the side veeeeeeery slowly until heâs out of sight.
You walk up to the doorframe and peak your head around to the left to see him still standing there.
âSatoru. Stop treating me like Iâm some animal at the zoo. Leave.âÂ
âItâs just so weird seeing you in my house like thiââ
You slam the door on him, your breathing finally slowing down again as your palms lay flat on painted white wood. You move your hand down to the handle, thumb and forefinger lingering on the lock as you look at it for a moment, but ultimately decide against locking it.
The room has a bathroom attached to it which is nice. The bed is a queen size, fitted with light blue and eggshell white sheets, tucked neatly spare for one corner of the bed where the duvet is flipped over. To the left of the bed is a nightstand and to the right is a dresser that looks very new. You take a glance at your reflection in the mirror sitting above it, and let out a small gasp at your less than flattering appearance.Â
A five minute shower does you wonders, and you pat yourself dry with a towel that matches the shower curtain. You find one of your floor-length vintage nightgowns, with the long frilly sleeves, after rustling through your overnight stay bag, along with a toothbrush and some moisturizer.Â
As you brush your teeth, you pace around the room. Thereâs a little staggered rack near the window that is lined with plants and the blinds are angled perfectly for sunlight to get through to them. You poke your finger to one of the plantâs soil and notice that itâs damp. Been watered recently. Gojo is a plant guy? He really doesnât seem the type. Well, actually, heâs pretty vain about his avocado tree. But houseplants were a different story. A whole different trope of person.
After getting ready for bed, you slip into the sheets and lay stiff despite the comfortable mattress as you stare up at the ceiling with the duvet tucked under your arms. Itâs bright in the room. Back home, you have blackout curtains, which help you sleep because it blocks out the morning light. Here, you donât have that. You donât have your melatonin either. But you do have the exhaustion in your veins, making you blink slowly and slowly until the water in your eyes feels as thick as oil. Youâre so tired to the point that you canât even sleep.
You force your eyes to close anyway. Youâll pretend youâre a queen in a palace, here in a foreign land she has recently conquered under her empire. A daydream that you find doesnât really help you drift off to sleep. But counting sheep never fails you.Â
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
You awake in the afternoon with a headache that pounds at your head like the FBI is trying to infiltrate your own mind. And all you can hear now is the FBI OPEN UP!!! meme as you groan and rub at your temples with one hand while leaning over the bed to pet at the nightstand for your go-to bottle of Tylenol just toâ
Pet around at nothing.
âMm?â you mumble, opening your eyes cautiously before harsh light makes you close them again. But even behind the protection of your eyelids, youâre still very keen on the brightness that finds you in this room. Finally, youâre able to blink the sleepiness away and adjust to the light, and when the blur of your vision subsides, you realize that youâre in a bed that is most definitely not your own. And then you remember.
You spent your first night (well, technically morning and early afternoon), at Gojoâs house.
You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, balled up fist rubbing at your eyes ferociously as you sit groggy from the sleep that enveloped you so performatively after your shift last night. You canât even remember coming to his house, which is concerning, since that could mean you forgot to do a lot of other things when coming home. Like changing your clothes, and scrubbing your make-up off. But it seems like habit and routine has saved you, since you glance down and see yourself in one of your nightgowns and your skin doesnât feel dry.
A loud thud! noise from directly beneath you startles you, jolting some of the sleepiness out of you, and you finally feel inclined to head out the door.
You make it across the loft and to the top of the staircase so you can peer over the railing to the downstairs floor. But from the top, you canât see anything except for the entry area and the family room, but you assume the sounds you hear are coming from the kitchen, because it sounds like the closing of a fridge and ceramic on marble paired with footsteps on hardwood. Lifting the hem of your nightgown up so you donât trip over it, you creep down the stairs, diligent in avoiding the 2nd and 7th step (youâve since learned that they creak a little), and make steady progress in getting to the bottom of the stairwell to then stealthily peak your head around the rail and peer into the kitchen. You only have a view of one side, the long counter strip with the stove and the fridge, but you freeze when youâre met with the sight of a man standing there shirtless pouring orange juice into a coffee mug.
Youâre temporarily shocked, your fight of flight immediately kicking in as you clutch the imaginary pearls around your neck in fearâŚbut thenâŚyou slowlyâŚfind yourself starting to stare. This manâs back is huge, massive reallyâŚwith tense and defined muscles, expansive smooth lines with ridges that meet bone. His shoulders are broad, rounding down into strong arms that are split with veins. And your eyes trail the way his waist narrows down to his hips, of which gray sweatpants very loosely hang from. Honestly, if the door in the movie Titanic was as large as this manâs back, then maybe Rose AND Jack could have fit on it and survived. (a/n. basically picture this)
And in the middle of your drooling, you realize. That this man. Is. Gojo.
Which should be a relief to you, because if it wasnât Gojo, and there was just some random man in the house, then youâd have to start looking for a weapon of sorts. But instead you just continue to watch him silently without coming out of your hiding. Shirtless in his own kitchen (a crime, really) as he pours OJ into a black mug (who the fuck drinks juice from a coffee mug). He suddenly turns around to face the island and a small gasp leaves your lips before you duck your head behind the rail to hide yourself from his line of sight, and when you realize youâre in the clear, you slowly peak your head back out.
The sight of his chest and torso nearly knocks you breathless, because why is his skin so smoothâŚand taut across the defined muscles of his abs, glistening with a sheen you can only guess is a salty layer of sweat. His fringe is damp, sticking to his forehead and the sides of his face, a droplet of sweat rolling down from his temple towards his chin but he uses his bare shoulder to wipe the sweat off before it can get that far. He brings the mug of OJ to his lips and tips it back with a swallow, the thick muscles of his neck rippling and rolling with the bobbing of his Adamâs apple, a singular droplet of orange juice escaping from the corner of his lips, trailing down the vein on his neck and into the territory of his chest. Okay. You were being creepy as fuck right now. He canât find out that youâre staring at him like this, youâd literally move to a different country if he ever caught you. And yet, for some reason, you just canât stop either.Â
He pulls the mug from his mouth, letting out a large exhale since he literally just gulped it all down in one go. He places his palms flat on the table, slightly distant from one another, as he takes in the sight of his counter, while you take in the sight of the way his biceps bulge and the veins on his thick forearms tense. He looks like heâs contemplating something. And then he shrugs his shoulders slightly before grabbing the carton next to him and chugging straight from it, like whatever he poured himself wasnât enough to quench the thirst for citrus juice he seems to have afterâyou can only assumeâthe workout he just had.Â
Thereâs a deep noise thatâs muffled in his throat in the second before he pulls the carton away from his mouth and his eyes glance at something on the floor. You canât see what it is, but you can see the marvelous shape of his ass through his sweatpantsâ I mean, you can see him furrow his brow a little and then heâs suddenly crouched down on the floor, ducked behind the island and out of sight, before he mutters something that you think sounds like damn fridgeâŚ
You stand on your tiptoes on the last step, trying to peer over the obstructing view of the counter, but you trip over the hem of your nightgown, losing balance andâ
âfall straight onto the hardwood in front of you, on all fours.Â
âAh,â you exclaim blandly, and in your periphery, see Gojo suddenly stand up straight from his crouched position.
ây/n?â he calls out from the kitchen, his tone surprised.
âSorry!â you chirp as you feel embarrassment creeping up on your cheeks, âjust, uh, fell down the stairs!â
âWhat?!?â he exclaims in a panic, and you forgot that most people would panic if someone said that to them. He rushes over to you and gets down on one of his knees to peer at your face, his hand shooting out to grab your upper arm with little delicacy out of concern, and his eyes roam all across you to assess for injuries. âAre you okay??â
âJust!â you chirp as you yank your arm out of his hold, âPeachy!â Youâre not able to make eye contact with him as he remains kneeled next to you, but you canât find yourself able to move either. So you just relish in the ridiculous feeling of being on all fours in your vintage grandma nightgown in front of your shirtless and, breaking news: very hot, fake husband. God you can smell the musk and sweat from him when heâs this close, and itâs sexy. You have to be careful to not just straight up mount him on the floor right now. Much to your aroused dismay.Â
âUm,â you squeak out, âcan you put a shirt on.â
âHuh?â he looks down at himself, like he forgot heâs half naked. âOh. Yeah.â He stands up. âSorry, Iâm not really used to having someone in the house anymore,â he says, and his use of the word anymore isnât lost on you.Â
He heads over to the coat closet, pulling a gray sweatshirt thatâs a shade darker than his sweatpants off of a coat hanger and then pulling it on over his head. He pulls the hood off, and now his hair looks damp with sweat and sexily ruffled up. And heâs also in a comfy-looking sweatshirt. That was way hotter than being shirtless, for fucks sake. You wonder if heâd reconsider being shirtless again. Heâs kneeling down beside you once more, and yes you are still on all fours just staring down at the hardwood floor like an animal paralyzed with fear.Â
âHave some decency, please. Especially since I am to start living here from today onwards. I would appreciate modesty around the house,â you say as a tactic of self preservation. âTake note of my attireâappropriately covering all skin.â
âAre you gonna stand up?â he asks you.
âNo. I shan't.â
âWhat? Why not? And why are you talking like that?âÂ
âIt appears I am frozen.â
âAre your knees okay?â
âI believe so.â
He sighs and gets up from his knelt position, then suddenly comes up behind you, bending over to wrap his arms around your waist tightly before picking you up with the same ease in which someone would pick up a plastic lawn chair. You gasp, still retaining your four-legged creature formation, until he shakes it out of you and then sets you back down onto your feet.Â
âDonât be so dramatic,â he says with a sigh as he heads back towards the kitchen, and heâs back to crouching down somewhere behind the counter.
You shuffle your feet over to the kitchen and peer over the kitchen island to see that heâs examining the floor in front of the fridge.
âWhatâs wrong?â you ask.
He scratches at his eyebrow. âThe fridge is leaking again.â
âOh.â
He clicks something on both sides of the fridge's feet and then grips the corners of its body, pulling it out from the wall with a small grunt leaving his lips. Even with the baggy sweatshirt, you can see the curves of the muscles in his arms as he works.Â
You place your elbows on the island and hold your face in your hands as you watch him. âHow are you gonna fix it?â
Heâs dabbing at the wet hardwood with a very worn out rag to get it dry. âI just have to shut the water valve off for a bit.â
âHow do you do that?â
He points over his shoulder with his thumb, and you trace the line of it to the cabinet under the sink.Â
âReally? Youâre gonna get under the sink?â
He dusts his hands off and tosses the rug off to the side. âUh-huh.â
âAre you sure you can fix it?â
âYeah. No problem.â
âHow long has this been an issue?â
His gaze flicks to yours briefly before he stands up. âAbout a week.â
âDonât you think you should just call someone?â
âWhat?â He turns to face you and crosses his arms across his chest while raising an eyebrow at you, like youâve just deeply offended him. âWhy the fuck would I call someone for a job I could do myself?â
You tilt your head at him, trying to hide the smirk that threatens to tug at your lips. âWell you said itâs been a whole week.â
âYeah, Iâveâ...Iâve just been busy. So I havenât had a chance to really take a look at it.â
âOhhhh okay okay,â you say in a teasingly skeptic tone, poking your tongue to your cheek as itâs getting progressively harder to hide your grin.
âWhat?â he says to you, impatiently.
âNothinggg,â you purr, and you watch him with a cheeky look on your face as he glares at you before he disappears off towards the garage.
He comes back with a tool box and you spend some time poking around in it curiously as he grabs a couple of tools before crouching down in front of the sink.
For some reason, you feel shy watching him. Maybe itâs because when heâs laying on his back, the top twenty-percent of him ducked underneath the sink, and heâs working his hands on some pipes that you canât see, his sweatshirt rides up a little and you can see the very lower part of his torso. And then when he yanks particularly hard on something, it rides up more and you can see his abs tensing and relaxing with almost every breath he takes and every move he makes. Youâre just grateful he canât see you, and the urge to clench your thighs together is almost stronger than your brainâs disposition to convince yourself that heâs not attractive just because you think heâs annoying most of the time.Â
ây/n,â he calls out to you from under the sink, and you jump a little. He tilts his head a little so he can make eye contact with you from under. âCan you hand me those slip-joint pliers?â
âI have no idea what that is or where to even begin to know what that is.â
âThe pliers that have the serrated edges,â he tries.
âHuh?â
â.........shark with sharp teeth.âÂ
âOh! Yes. Yes, of course,â you grab them and then shuffle over to him before crouching down, balancing on your toes, âhere you go.â
âThanks,â he says in a flat tone, slowly taking them from you.Â
âYouâre welcome!â you chirp. You feel very useful.Â
His head disappears back to deep underneath the sink again to work on stuff again. Even though this whole thing is probably just his masculine ego wanting to fix things around the house by himself rather than just call a person that is literally paid to fix these sorts of things, you have to admit that youâre not complaining for getting to watch him do something handy.Â
âIâve justâ gottaââ he grunts a little and you hear the creaking of pipes, âtighten this up a bitââ he lets out another gruff noise, his voice strained with effort, and youâre ashamed to say it sounds hot. âAlright!â He pulls himself out from under the sink and stands up back onto his feet with a bounce in his step as he dusts his hands off. âFixed. For now.â
The fridge starts making a strange whirring noise. You raise an eyebrow at him. He quickly reaches behind it and clicks some button before the eerie whirring stops.
âOkay. Now itâs fixed.â
You give him a very skeptic look. âSure, Jan.â
âDonât sure jan me. Trust. It wonât leak anymore.â
âWhatever you say,â you respond before heading back up the stairs to freshen up.Â
By the time you go back downstairs, Gojo is nowhere to be found, and you take the opportunity to sit on his couch in the living room to then peruse which streaming services he has on his TV. It isnât until about ten minutes later that you hear someone coming down the stairs, because he makes no effort to avoid the creaky steps.
You put your elbow up on the couch backrest and twist your torso to look at him. Heâs wearing pajama pants and an unmatching black short sleeve cotton T-shirt thatâs loose around his torso but tight at the arms. Heâs ruffling his hair up with a hand towel, attempting to get it dry from the shower he clearly just took. As he makes his way towards the living room, you catch a waft of the clean soapy aqua fragrance of shampoo lingering in his hair. He stops about four feet behind the couch.
You glance down at his feet. âWhy the fuck are you, as a grown ass man, wearing bunny slippers inside the house?â
He opens one eye to glance down at his slippers as he continues to tousle his hair dry, âoh, Juno got them for me for Christmas last year. She wanted me to wear them âall the time or else uncle toruâs feet will burn off from the floor lava.â
A small smile makes its way onto your face.Â
Juno is Gojoâs five-year-old niece, and from the interactions youâve seen between them, and from the way My Little Pony was the first thing that popped up when you turned the TV on, you know that Gojo absolutely adores her and vice versa. Youâve met her a couple times, even babysat her once in an emergency, and sheâs a cute and bright little kid that you certainly have way more fondness for than her obnoxiously annoying uncle who is also now your fake husband. Wait, does that mean that Juno is your niece now, too?
Gojo lets out a sigh before hanging the towel over his shoulder, his hair apparently adequately dry enough for him now. He looks younger when his hair is messy and a little damp, falling over his forehead flatter than usual. Itâs kinda boyish and dare-you-say charming.
He looks down at his slippers again with a pleasant reminiscent look on his face before placing his hands on his hips like heâs a baseball dad of three. âYâknow, when I was growing upââ
âAh yes. During the Great Depression.â
He gives you an annoyed look. âQuit it. When I was a kidââ
âBack in the 1800s.â
âArenât you pushing thirty?â he asks you.
âArenât you in need of some new dentures?â you ask him.
âFuckinâ rude,â he mumbles as he walks towards the foyer table to rip open some of the mail that was scattered across it.
âWhat happened when you were a kid?â you ask.
âForget it,â he says, tucking some of his bills back into envelopes.
âWhat!! I wanna know,â you say.
âYeah well I donât want to tell you anymore,â he responds.
As you two fully grown adults continue bickering like toddlers for the better part of two minutes, your phone is ringing upstairs unbeknownst to you.Â
âWait. Shut up,â Gojo cuts off your next insult as he snaps his head up-right suddenly.Â
âWhat?! Did you just tell me to shut uââ
âShhhhhh,â he hushes you, turning his ear towards the stairs with a concentrated expression on his face.
You silence yourself, and then you hear the ringing coming from upstairs.
âFuck,â you mumble as you scramble off the couch and jog to the bottom of the staircase, Gojoâs eyes on you the entire time as you run up the steps back to your room.
You hear your phone ringing on the bed somewhere but you canât find it so you rummage through the sheets before finally spotting it, swiping on the call and bringing it to your ear without even checking the caller ID.
âHello?â you say.
âOh! y/n, hi there. Itâs Dr. Johnson calling. I was prepared to leave you a voicemail,â he says.
âIâm here,â you say hastily, holding your phone to your ear with both hands as you feel your entire body tense up.Â
You never knew what to expect with any sort of phone calls these days, especially when youâre at work or when your mom isnât home, because a phone call could be something as simple as approving a refill on some of her medication, to something much worse than that. Something much more final than that.Â
âItâs not an emergency,â Dr. Johnson says on the other line, like he can sense your fear and anxiety through the phone, âjust wanted to reach out to let you know that I spoke with the hospitalist who admitted your mother to the hospital and sheâs doing better now. Theyâll likely discharge her by the end of the day.â
You slowly let out the breath you were holding. âOh, thatâs wonderful. I know she needs to come in for chemo tomorrow, so itâs perfect timing.â
âYes, weâll see her tomorrow.â
âUh, Dr. Johnson, I do want to let you knowâŚIâll be admitting my mom for hospice in a couple of days,â you tell him. You wince a little, because you know itâs probably something that you shouldâve discussed with him prior to all of this. âItâsâŚlikely that you wonât have to continue her care anymore, since sheâs been approved for Kaiser insurance, Iâll be transferring her care to Kaiser physicians.â
Thereâs a moment of silence on the other line, the briefest moment of hesitation from a self-assured doctor who always had something to say right away. âReally? Thatâsâ...wow. I canât say I wonât be extremely sad to not see her anymore.â
âI knowâŚâ you say, worrying your bottom lip through your teeth, feeling a sudden wave of guilt overtake your senses, âyouâve been following her progress ever since her diagnosis, even got her into remissionâŚitâs just a little complicated with some insurance stuff and some bills as well. If I could have things my way, I would continue care with you and your team.â
Even though you canât see it, you can tell heâs nodding on the other line. âI understand, y/n. I know that thereâs more to healthcare in this country than justâŚreceiving care. But I donât have to explain those things to you, since youâre a nurse. Do whatâs best for you and your family. Give me the details for the hospice, and Iâll have my MAs send over your motherâs chart.â
âThank you, Dr. Johnson,â you whisper, your voice cracking slightly. âReally. For everything.â
âYouâre most welcome.â
âOhââ you stutter, in fear he might hang up right as you remembered to ask him something.
âYes?â
âI know Iâll see you tomorrow so we can discuss it then too, but I was just wondering if the scans were back from my momâs brain MRI she had done? I know they usually take three weeks to come back but just wanted to check.â
He lets out a low chuckle. âI had a feeling youâd follow up about that. No, there are no scans that have come back. Iâll let you know right away when they do.â
âOkayâŚâ you say.
âI know youâre worried about a possible glioma,â he speaks up, âbut letâs just try to stay positive until we see the scans, okay?â
âYes. Sounds good. Thank you, doctor.â
âAlright. I will see you and your mom tomorrow.â
âYes. Bye,â you say and hear his word of farewell too before hanging up.Â
You stare down at the screen of your phone, taking in slow deep breaths to calm down your nerves. You just wanted these scans to come back already so that you could feel at peace knowing that your momâs worsening neurological condition is due to her Alzheimerâs and not a tumor in her brain. The average survival length of a person with a brain tumor is low, and even worse if itâs a glioblastoma, ranging at around 12-18 months. You can buy her a few years at least with the stage of cancer progression sheâs at right now, even with the possibility of remission, but if it becomes severely advanced disease thenâ
You gasp softly and cover your mouth with your hand, unable to even fathom the thought without feeling a feverish chill run down your entire body. Now's not the time to spiral. Deep breaths. One, two, three. Now is the time to stay positive. Just like Dr. Johnson said.Â
Putting one step ahead of the other, you leave the room, cross the loft and slowly make your way down the stairs and stop at the very last step when you see Gojo rushing across the foyer with his dress shoes on, wearing a dark blue suit, save for the tie, and he looks like heâs pressed for time.
âAre you going somewhere?â you ask from the last step, your hand curled around the rail still.
âHey, uh, yeah,â he scrambles, grabbing his keys from the paper mache bowl on the foyer table and then pats at his pockets for his wallet only to notice itâs absent. âFuck.â He disappears somewhere into the house in a hurry and then returns with his wallet in his hand before shoving it in his pocket with the jingle of his keys too. âI had to push a couple house viewings from this afternoon up, so I need to leave.â He finally turns to face you and exhales slowly to regain his breath. âSmall favor?â
âWhatâs up,â you say.
He rubs the back of his neck a little guiltily. âWell, Sana called a few minutes ago asking if I could watch Juno since she had to pick her up early from school, and I said sure, but I have to leave now, soââ
âI can watch her,â you say.
He claps his hands together in prayer form and holds them up to his face, âI owe you one.â
âMhmmmmm,â you hum, watching as he resumes his haste to leave the house. And just before he heads out the door, you sayâ âCollar.â
âHuh?â He turns around to face you. âOh.â He takes a second to flatten the collar of his shirt. âThanks.â And then heâs out the door.
You sigh, relishing in the emptiness of the house. Maybe you should raid his pantry, or play porn on the TV super loud so all the neighbors think heâs a creep. But perhaps that is not appropriate, given that his sister will be bringing his niece over very soon.
You quickly head over to your house to change into something more appropriate than your nightgown, just some blue jeans that honestly make you look like a soccer mom, and then a T-shirt. You walk back to Gojoâs house and only get about five minutes to peruse his pantry when the doorbell rings.
When you open the door, youâre met face-to-face with Gojoâs sister, Sana. How would you describe Sana? Well, first of all, sheâs beautiful, with all the same features as Gojo except in female form. Striking round blue eyes, silky white hair that shimmers silver underneath sunlight (you would describe Gojo less poetically than this, though). Her hair is pin straight, falling down just past her shoulders. Sheâs sweet, or at least has been the couple of times that youâve met her, but she can also be a little serious and strict. The type to not really laugh at the dinner table if you make a pointed joke about the current political state of the country, but maybe itâs because she didnât even understand the joke to begin with. Either way, sheâs very different from the annoying and irritating temperament of her older brother, and how their mother managed to give birth to such two different kids is beyond you.
âHey,â you greet her at the door with a small smile.
âHi, y/n,â she returns with a polite smile of her own. Sheâs holding onto Junoâs scrawny shoulders as the kid stands in front of her, barely to the height of her motherâs hips. Juno was toying with the light pink baseball cap on her head, her hair pulled through the opening in the back and tied up into a ponytail. âIâm so sorry to bother you with her.â
âOh! No, not a bother at all, I love getting to see her,â you say as you crouch down to get at eye level with her. âHi Juno!â
Juno has curly white hair rather than the pin straight that her mother possessed, a feature that more closely resembles her fatherâs hair, along with her hazel eyes. Youâve only met Sanaâs husband, Jun, once before. From what you know, heâs some type of businessman, and the first thing you noticed about him was that he was the same height as Sana. But his wife was blessed with supermodel height and was probably taller than most men, so it wasnât surprising. Jun was hearty, almost suspiciously kind, laughed boisterously loud, and in the small amount of time you met him, it was easy to see that Sana very rarely humored his ill-mannered and awkwardly-placed jokes, but they seemed very in love with each other regardless. Apparently he and Gojo go golfing every other weekend. Information that you seem to know despite any desire to know it.Â
Juno hugs her water bottle to her chest, shy as she makes eye contact with you. âHi, auntie y/n.â
âI loooooove your baseball cap! Itâs so cute, where did you get it?â you ask her.
She blinks off to the side timidly, her fluffy white lashes fluttering over her bright eyes. âUm. Uncle Toru.â
âOhhh I see, I see! It suits you.â
Sana nudges her a little with her knee. âWhat do we say, Juno?â
âThank you, auntie y/n,â she immediately squeaks out in reflex.
Your eyes catch a glimpse of the white bandage wrapped over her tiny arm and your brow furrows before reaching out to gently hold it. Juno winces a little from the sensation. You stand up straight.
âWhat happened to her arm?â you ask Sana.
Sana sighs as she tucks some of her hair behind her ear. âShe fell on the playground at school today. Itâs a pretty large scrape and itâs been hurting her a lot.â
âDid you disinfect it?â
âOhâŚI justâ...washed it with some water. The school nurse wasnât there today so I just had to pick her up early.âÂ
âMm, I see,â you say, âI can take a look at it. I have some neosporin in my purse.â
She lets out a relieved sigh, like she was secretly hoping you would make the offer. âThank you. Really.â She gently pushes on her daughterâs shoulder. âCâmon Juno. Go inside and set your homework up on the table.â
Juno cranes her neck up to look at her mom. âMommy, can I have a snack first? Pop-tart!â
âIf your uncle has them in the pantry, then sure,â Sana says, and immediately upon hearing those words, Juno rushes inside the house with giggles filling the air. âBut only one!!â Sana yells out to her in a strict tone, and you watch with amusement as Juno skips off before returning your attention back to Sana.
âSoooâŚâ she starts, a small hint of hesitation playing on her usually prim face, âI suppose weâre sisters now. Sisters-in-law.â
Your eyes widen and your shoulders stiffen. It was at least a good thing that Gojo told his family already that you two are married, because it seems that most of his extended family live here in this town. At least, you know that his sisterâs family and his parents live here. Better to be heard from him directly than to run into you randomly living at his house all of a sudden when they drop by. Youâre sure his family has questions about this extremely sudden marriage to say the least. Youâre not sure how much theyâll try to pry, but you hope itâs not much, because youâve never really been a great actress. âYes. Yes, we are.â
âMm,â she hums pleasantly at you, nodding slowly and peering off into the house beyond your shoulder, âsayâŚIâm, um, just a littleâŚsurprised by how sudden this all is.â
âHmm?â
âWith you and my brother,â she says straightforwardly. âObviously, you must know heâs been married before, but itâsâŚa little odd, it feels like just yesterday when he told us he wasâŚgetting a divorce. And now heâs married again.â She trails off when she has some sobering thought that flashes through her head. âOh gosh, Iâm sorry. I donât know why Iâm blabbering about this. Iâm justâ...Iâm just thinking out loud. It must be a sore topic.â
âOh, no, no, not at all. No worries,â you say with an awkward laugh, âIâve, um, come to terms with it?â You try your best to come up with a believable response.
âThatâs good,â she says while she runs soothing circles with her thumb over the skin at her elbow, âwell, some love moves faster than others.â She displays a well-meaning smile on her face. âIâm really happy for you two.â
For some reason, your heart warms. Like when the lines of reality and imagination blur, and so youâre left here with a truly comforting feeling. Only itâs fleeting and temporary, like escapism. âThank you,â you say softly. And after a moment, âby the way, Iâm really sorry forâŚSatoru and I not having a proper wedding. We just wanted something simple.â
She lets out a small scoff. âOh, gosh, donât apologize for that. Iâm sick of weddings. I was so glad I didnât have to peruse yet another wedding registry this year. There are only so many toaster ovens I can buy.â
Youâre a little surprised by the humor from her, but the two of you let out small laughs in unison at the doorstep.
Sana glances at her watch. âI have to get going. Call me if you need anything, okay?âÂ
You nod. âSure. Thanks.â
You close the door slowly, watching her briefly through the stained glass window as she heads towards her car and gets inside before promptly driving off.Â
Thereâs the sound of ruffling heard and then the sound of things falling off a shelf towards the kitchen. You turn on your heel and head in the direction. âJunooo,â you call out, âwhere are youuuu?â
âIn here!â she chirps from the pantry room. You turn the light on to see her standing in the center with a couple boxes of cereal fallen around her. Sheâs holding an empty box in her hand. âThe pop-tart box is empty,â she says with a pout and sulk of her shoulders as she makes the most :(( face youâve ever seen a child make.
âOh no,â you say, grabbing the box from her and inspecting the inside, âyour devious uncle mustâve eaten them all in a manic episode.â
âWhat is a manic mean?â she asks you as she looks up, rubbing her ankle with her other foot.
âOh, itâs likeâŚcrazy? He went crazy?â
She giggles at the thought.
âIf youâre hungry, I can make you something,â you offer.
She shyly nods her head but her grin fully rounds her cheeks before she darts off towards the kitchen.Â
You find her standing near the kitchen island, trying to get up onto one of the bar stools but to no avail. You come up behind her to pick her up then set her down on the seat, adjusting it so itâs a little higher.Â
âWhat do you want me to make?â you ask her as you come around to the other side of the island and set your elbows up on the cold marble, leaning over to place your chin in your palm.Â
âUmâŚâ she brings her index finger up to her bottom lip in thought, âpancakes? Can I have blubbery pancakes?â
âHuh?âÂ
âUmâŚâ she starts again, âlast time, when I eated them at your house. Um, when I ated them at your house,â she tries to correct herself, âI really liked them.â
âOh!â you perch up from your bent over position, âI remember! The blueberry pancakes. Aww, Juno, you remember that? How sweet.â
She becomes a little bashful and glances down at the her lap.
âOkayyy,â you say, placing your hands on your waist as you look around at the kitchen, âwell Iâll have to see what ingredients Iâm working with here, but hopefully I can make them for you.â You tilt your head at her before pointing a finger. âHave you ever seen the show Chopped?âÂ
She sits up straight with excitement. âYes yes! Me and mommy love it.â
âGood. Letâs pretend Iâm working with a mystery basket here,â you say, and then you turn around to open Gojoâs fridge.Â
You can learn a lot about a person based on what the inside of their fridge looks like. Youâre surprised to find the inside of his looksâŚsparkly? That was the only way you knew how to describe it. With clean shelves that reflect the bright lighting off the plastic, plastic that looks as mirror sheen as glass. As your eyes take in the contents inside, you notice he has some leftover thai food at the front, most likely leftovers from as recent as last night. One of the produce drawers is filled to the brim while the other is mostly empty, and you notice he separates them by leafy stuff vs. veggies. The leafy stuff is the drawer thatâs filled to the brim, and you just know heâs stressed out over how to use all of it up before it starts wilting. Mustâve been on sale, you think to yourself. To the right of the fridge, there are an insane amount of orange juice cartons, and you notice he drinks the same one as youâpulp free with the added vitamins and calcium thatâs made for kids. Although maybe he has an excuse for it, since he has a five-year-old niece. Thereâs a few containers of meal prep stacked up at the back of the fridge that look like some sort of arrangement of quinoa, chicken and Mediterranean vegetables. And then thereâs just a bunch of assorted cans of beer throughout the fridge, which you assume are to appease the diverse preferences of his friends whenever he has them over.Â
You grab a couple of eggs from the egg carton, placing them on the counter along with a stick of butter plus a half-full carton of milk, and peer deep into the fridge past the wall of condiments to eye for any fresh fruit such as berries, but you donât see any. You try the freezer and are relieved when you see he has some frozen blueberries in there.
âOkay!â you shut the fridge. âJust need to grab a few more things from the pantry room and then Iâll make you your pancakes, okay?âÂ
Juno nods enthusiastically. âUm. Can I get my backpack?â
âSure.â You pick her up off the bar stool to set her down on the ground and she runs to the coffee table in front of the TV to grab her things as you head to the pantry room.Â
Flour, sugar, baking powder, all tucked in your elbows as you carry the ingredients back to the kitchen before dropping them onto the counter and picking Juno up to place her on the barstool again. She starts to lay out her glittery pens and pristinely sharpened pencils in front of her as well as a packet of papers.Â
âI canât believe theyâre giving Kindergarteners homework these daysâŚâ you mutter under your breath as you grab a bowl. âJuno, wanna help me crack the eggs?â
âYes!â
âLetâs go wash our hands then.â
As you mix all your ingredients together and Juno continues to stare at her papers with her face awfully close to them (does she need glasses?), you think to yourself what a nice little life this is. Although you havenât been able to spend the day at your house like you were hoping you would, since you could finally have it for yourself, it was nice to spend it at Gojoâs. It was something different, something refreshing, something grounding. An escape that you needed.Â
âUm. Auntie y/n?â Juno calls from behind you as you flip a pancake at the stove.
âYes sweetheart.â
âHow is mommy?â
âHmm?â you hum. âMy mommy?â
âYes!â
âOh you are just the sweetest thing. Sheâs doing okay. Sheâs just a little sick still.â
âWhen Iâm sick,â Juno speaks up with a childlike enthusiasm in her voice, âmy mommy gives me grape soorâ...stirââ she struggles with the word, âshrup, ah, syrup! Grape syrup. It makes me better.â
âOhhh honey, I know,â you coo as you try to match her enthusiasm, placing two little pancakes onto a plate for her. âWhen you get the sniffles, right?â
âYes! Maybe your mommy will be better too if I give her some of my grape syoorup?â
You stop in your tracks, staring down at the food you were just plating.
The innocence of a child. It was hard to stay strong in the face of it. When you were younger, you probably wouldâve thought that a magical potion would make your mom all better, too.
You turn around to face her. âWell,â you say, clearing your throat a little to fight the knot that you find is twisting it, âI think,â and now youâre blinking away the faint sheer of tears as you press your lips into a thin smile, your soft soft above a whisper, âthat that is a wonderful idea.â
Juno gobbles up her blubbery pancakes with the extra maple syrup on them and you watch her take every bite. There was something satisfying about seeing a little kid eat so well. The sight made you feel well-fed on their behalf.
âAlright,â you say with a small grunt as you pick Juno up and set her down onto the ground, then take her hand to lead her over to the carpeted family room. âLet me take a look at this scrape of yours.â
Junoâs hand tugs slightly when you try to pull on it, so you turn around to see that she has stopped in her tracks halfway through the trek to the other room.
âWhatâs wrong?â you ask her.
âI donât want you to see itâŚâ
âWhy not?â
âBecause itâs ugly.â
âJuno,â you tug on her hand a little, âI have to see it so that I can clean it. Otherwise you might get sick. A type of sick that even grape syrup canât fix.â
She looks up at you with curious eyes, not fearful ones.Â
âThere is sick like that?â she asks you.
âYes. Now give me your arm.â
Juno follows you to the family room and stands still, the front of her jutting out slightly as she pouts, a display of her remaining disapproval for you taking a look at her scrape. You get down onto your knees and slowly undo the bandages, unwrapping the layers one-by-one before the end falls off and youâre staring at a 4x2cm superficial abrasion on her arm, and when your thumb lightly swipes at the skin underneath it, Juno winces from the pain.
You also notice she has a bruise on her left upper thigh, right below where the hem of her shorts end.
âYouâŚonly fell onto your right side, right?â you ask her.
âMhm,â she nods.
âThatâs it?â
âYes.â
âHow come you have a bruise on your left thigh then?â
Her eyes widen slightly with shock and her head quickly snaps down to look at her thigh. âUm. Um. I donât know. Um. Um.â
âJuno,â you say, trying to muster up a strict tone, but she refuses to make eye contact with you anymore as she stares at the carpet beneath her. You gently grab a hold of both of her wrists. âSweetheart. Look at me.â Her eyes slowly lift up to meet yours. âI want to help you, but I can't help you unless youâre honest with me.â
Her big eyes blink at you slowly and her bottom lip quivers slightly.
âHow did you really hurt yourself?â
She immediately starts bawling. Full on sobs that echo throughout the room and startle you slightly as the tears freely fall down her cheeks and she struggles to wipe them off with her left arm, but they only drip down her elbow.
âOhââ you stutter, holding her by her shoulders, âJunoââ
She sniffles. âTheyââ she hiccups, âthey pushed meâŚthey always push me.â
âWho pushed you?? Who always pushes you??â
She sucks in a deep breath as she continues to cry and you struggle to wipe at her tears for her with the pad of your thumb. âTheâhicâgirls at school. Theyâre soâhicâ...wahhhâŚtheyâre so mean.â
âThey pushed you on the playground and thatâs how you got this scrape and bruise?â you ask her.
She nods as she slowly begins to come down from her outburst, her remnant sniffles and short sharp inhales showing that she was struggling to breath. You run to grab some tissues and then come back, holding them to her nose before she blows into them.
âOh sweetheartâŚIâm so sorry,â you say to her.
She suddenly runs into you, hugging you tightly, and youâre momentarily surprised before wrapping an arm around her too and then gently patting at her back.
âHow long has this been going on?â you ask her.
âMmâŚever since Iâhicâever since I got on T-ball teamâŚbut they couldnât get on.â
âOhâŚâ you coo, gently rubbing her back now. Youâre not a mom, youâve got no fucking clue how to navigate this sort of situation. But you can try your best to give some advice. âJuno, you have every right to feel happy and safe at school.â You gently pull her away from the hug so that you can look at her face. âAnd itâs okay to stand up for yourself and against anyone that is being mean to you. Donât let them take that power away from you.â
She nods slowly, her lip quivering slightly again.
You sigh slowly before giving her another hug. âAnd weâll work out something with your mom too, okay? She can talk to the teachers.â
âNo!â Juno shrieks, pulling away from you suddenly. You blink at her. âNo. Please donât tell my mommy.â
âW-Why not??â
âBecauseââ she stutters, âumâŚI want to tell her myself. Because I lied, and mommy always says to me to not tell lies. So I have to fix it myself.â
You tilt your head at her, frowning slightly. Youâre not exactly sure how much autonomy over such things you should be granting a five-year-old, but you decide to give her the choice. You hold your pinky finger out to her, âyou have to promise me youâll tell her though, okay?â
She nods and wraps her pinky around yours.Â
After getting her scrape cleaned up and tended to, Juno spends the next hour or so watching My Little Pony on the TV as you clean up the mess you made in the kitchen. And as youâre staring out into the backyard while wiping down the cutting board, the sound of the doorbell ringing makes you jump with a startle and breaks you out of your trance.
You were prepared to open the door to find Sana standing at the entrance, but instead youâre met with the sight of a different woman.
Much older, and with all the same features, it doesnât really take you long to figure out who she is.
âAh! There she is!â the woman chirps out. âIâmââ
âJunoâs grandmother,â you finish the statement for her.
ââSatoruâs mother,â she instead says.
You both blink at one another.
âWell,â she chirps, âIâm both!â
Gojoâs mother appears to be a kind woman, and itâs evident that being gorgeous must run in the family. Although she has aged features, theyâre still beautiful in a graceful way, where people would take a look at her and think of aging as a privilege and not a curse. Her eyes are somewhat feline, different from the roundness of those youâve seen in her family, and her hair is a shimmering silver all around with a pretty silk press layered hair style that flatters her frail jaw. She was wearing a French-style button up dress with a rather gaudy belt around her waist, and you catch the scent of her lilac perfume even while sheâs standing three feet away.
She puts her hands on her hips and has a forced smile on her face. âMy son gets married and he doesnât even tell me a peep about it, or introduce me to his new wife! I have to come all the way over here myself!â she exclaims, and her tone is like sheâs trying to play it off with nonchalance but the stiffness of her features makes it look like sheâs losing her mind. âWell,â she clicks her tongue, âheâs always had the penchant for never sharing anything he ever does with me.â
âAhâŚIâm so sorry, Mrs. Gojo,â you say to her, unsure why youâre apologizing, but there was this energy to her that made you realize she had a skill for making people feel apologetic in her presence.
âNo worries! Not your fault. Iâll deal with him later,â she says, her smile growing to where it almost fully crescents her eyes in a frightening way that almost sends a shiver down your spine, âanywhoooo,â she takes both of your hands into hers, âyouâre very beautiful, and you have a very lucky-looking nose!â
âLucky?â
âYes, yes. You will bring luck to our family.â
âThanks?â you say, trying to manage a smile.
She takes a step closer to you. âTell me, what do your parents do for a living?â
âOh! Um, well, my mom is retired, but she used to be an art teacher. My dad is in the food business, but uh, I havenât spoken to him in years ever since my parents got divorced.â
âAh,â she says curtly, her face blank as if she couldnât think of a single thing to follow up with after that. She peers past your shoulder. âWhereâs the little princess?â
âSheâs just inside grabbing her things.â You gently slip your hands out of her hold and turn around to face the inside of the house. âJuno!! Do you need help?â
âNo!!â she calls from the kitchen.
âSay, my dear,â Gojoâs mother speaks up, âwhy donât you and Satoru come by for dinner this weekend? Jun and Sana apparently have some important news theyâd like to share with the family, and I offered that we all hear it together over a meal. This way you can meet your father-in-law too!â
You take a deep breath in, realizing that this fake marriage agreement involves a lot more deceit than you ever thought it would. âSure. Yes. Iâd love that. Let me know if I can bring anything.â
âWonderful!â she exclaims, just in time for when you feel Juno brush past you towards her grandma, hunching over slightly with her backpackâs weight. Gojoâs mother pulls you in for a hug which entirely startles you and you slowly wrap your arms around her as well. âItâs so lovely to have a daughter-in-law. Oh, I am just so happy to have you in our family.â
She lets go of you but still keeps you close by a delicate hold of your elbows, a gleeful smile on her face as she looks you up and down slowly.
âBye, auntie y/n!!â Juno squeaks out, hugging your leg, and you pat at the top of her head. Her grandmother finally lets go of you and takes Junoâs tiny hand in her frail one, and you see them off to the car.
By the time you make it back inside the house, you let out a deep slow breath, one that you didnât know you were holding in, as you lay your weight back on the front door. You feel a pressure in your head from your dwindling social battery and all these tricky encounters.
So, youâre part of a whole other family, now?
That. Is. Frightening.
.
.
.
[end of chapter 3]
a/n. ah!! hope you enjoyed this ihm chapter :ââ) sorry if it seemed like a bunch of random scenes lolol i swear itâs all set up for stuff that will happen down the lineee. i just be yappin so the word count ends up kinda high. hope to see you in the next one!! <3 love u all. also itâs my frank ocean anons bday today so i dedicate this chapter to themm đŤśđźđ manifesting dilf gojo for u bb for anyone curious about why reader is a bit paranoid w potentially being busted for her fake marriage, i had another reader that was curious about this too so i answered them here if you'd like to check it out :)
⸠take me to chapter four!
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colour me in: redraft | jjk (m)
Summary:Â The calm is more appreciated after a storm. Life with Jungkook proves to you that sometimes, joy can, in fact, overshadow grief. Yet, not without confronting and removing all hurdles standing in your way once and for all.
âł pairing: Jungkook x reader âł rating: 18+ âł genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating; some tame angst, sooo much fluff, smut âł warnings: new relationshippppp, so much hugging and kissing, yoongi!! tae!!, tears, abandonment issues, talk about social anxiety (just briefly and nothing serious!), jungkook drops a big question :'), a surprise in the middle, a surprise near the end, and then a SURPRISE at the end lol, many surprises, they're so crazy for each other it's gross; explicit sexual content: okay â kook is wearing a chain.. this vibe :'), making out, showering together, shower sex, spanking, biting, oral (f. & m. receiving), fingering, mouth/face f*cking, mirrorssss, he likes her ass and tiddies, tears, choking, v brief ass stuff, rough and soft sex, dom and big cawk jk, vocal jk, multiple orgasms, they're simps; ALSO YEAH THE ENDING :') âł word count: 25.3k âł a/n: so when i said this chapter would be shorter⌠welp lol. but i still think it introduces the next arc really well. i kinda love the ending!! .. and the next part will be </3 :'''') as always beta'd by my lovely @missgeniality đ¤ i hope you guys like this one a lot. worked my ass off for this fr :') if you do, please do support the chapter and interact with me, too, it makes my day <3 âł listen to: i need u by yaeow | full collaborative playlist đ¤
SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST MASTERLIST | WIPs | DC SERVER
Monday morningâs breakfast is awkward. Or at least, the very first minute of it.
The hands of your watch drift to 9 AM; you shouldâve expected you wouldnât be occupying the dining table alone. Your parents, sipping the last of their coffee, arenât that much of a surprise after all.
You breathe a quiet breath of relief when their eyes dart towards your timid forms at the threshold, then back to the table. And a moment later, theyâre pushing their chairs back across the marble floor before they clear the path to breakfast for the two of you.
Your father acknowledges you with a brief, polite nod on his way out, even flashing a similarly quick smile. Ingenuine, because his glance, fleeting when directed to you, is as disappointed as your Momâs behind him.
Today, you understand. Somewhere in the depths of your recovering mind, you feel upset about shitfacing yourself so thoroughly, too.
You havenât seen your mother in over two days. Jungkookâs post-showcase confessions brought you to Eun, and the next morning you barely scanned your room before you left for her place again.
Guess the momentary encounter in the hallway doesnât quite count; you could hardly crack your eyes open. Combined with half the dozen naps you took in your locked room the very next day, you wonât exactly expect pride from her right now.
Until now, as she advances towards your body, you didnât consider much of her side; you stayed focused on the other occurrences passing after sunset. Moments whose scent your sheets still carry.
As your mother comes to a stand, you prepare your vocal cords, breathing in to explain yourself until you realise that she isnât looking at you at all. Her eyes are firmly glued to Jungkookâs face, devoid of enmity for once.
Instead, she flattens her dress, sighing through her red-tinted lips before she nods towards him and simply says, âThank you.â
And thatâs it. A little breathtaking, entirely new.
Youâre dumbfounded when she leaves; Jungkook doesnât manage a single word. You imagine that if youâre baffled, heâs probably rethinking her words to assure he didnât hallucinate them.
But neither of you did. And the silence lingering for a couple more seconds proves the depth of reality; not that youâll change your mind about leaving your place. But the hint of appreciation, shot directly at him is a pleasant first nevertheless.
Breakfast is patient but fast. The quiet atmosphere doesnât derive from the night before or what your mother just left you with, but from the emotional fatigue slowly dropping off your shoulders.
Jungkook lets you feast in peace, a soft palm rubbing over the back of your hand every now and then to assure youâre okay. And you are. Youâre getting used to these changes.
To this alternative to whatever you feared before. A chance to erase all words and start on a blank page; a white canvas, waiting for vibrant colours instead of monochrome gloom.
Yet, despite the tranquillity last night, still present in the air and in your aching limbs, you donât understand the sincerity of all the confessions he uttered until you leave.
Because breathing in your car isnât as suffocating as it was the last few weeks. Back when youâd navigate through the town alone, the passenger seat empty. Or when you plucked up the courage and drove to the showcase numbly.
Or when the pain pierced through your chest; when your drunk ass thought the world would remain blue forever.
All of it is gone when you buckle up, shifting in your seat as you announce, âOkay. Letâs finally get you home.â
The engine roars for a moment, the car trembling, but you only register the knot in your throat when he says, âFeels so unfair of me. Having my girl drive me around so much.â
You donât miss the endearment; neither the way your heart skips a beat.
Incapable of a proper reaction, you clear your throat and stutter, all at once and oddly in succession until you settle on a weak, âWhy unfair?â
âBecause. You do it a lot.â
You really do not. The night the museum closed and you dropped him off at your place was one of a few times; besides, heâs operated your vehicle more than enough before, too.
But you donât contradict him, instead lightly suggest, âWell, you can drive if you want.â
Youâre relieved when he joins your smile, dimples ever-so-sweet and genuine as he promises, âItâs fine. Iâll just stare at you.â
The shudder along your spine is delightful â relentless, he keeps your nerves alight. Perhaps heâs back to the self you knew pre-broken-hearts, playful and teasing, but the effect of his words curses through your veins hotter than ever.
âThatâs creepy,â you still retort; youâll gladly keep fighting this sweet, awkward battle against compliments for life, unaware how to handle them. âAnd it makes me nervous.â
âSorry.â
Jungkook laughs, the back of two fingers reaching to your cheek to graze it featherlightly. Maybe he feels the heat beneath your skin, enhanced through his touch.
By now, youâve spent a year with him â as a party fling, a class frenemy and a blue flower. But each second ticking away brings a new wave of soft, shy speechlessness. New honeymoon emotions.
The certainty of his reciprocated feelings, the fact that youâre finally on the same page, makes you rethink his tender confessions and touches differently. Makes you navigate the relationship differently.
His eyes drift back to the quiet, narrow street, surrounded by houses and blooming gardens. Probably as tired of the idyllic utopia as you, he doesnât spare the suburban setting any more attention.
He only lets a flat hand rub against his thighs, nipping at his clothing as he says, âGod, I canât wait to get out of these damn joggers.â
Right. While not a main focus, you did find the special attire at breakfast today quite amusing.
âDid you even get to shower since picking me up?â you ask.
âYeah. When you were napping again yesterday. Just gotta wash my hair later tonight.â
Hmm. You spent half your day knocked out; Jungkook couldâve circled the world and you wouldnât have known.
âOh. Good.â
The road proceeds straight, emptier near the suburbs. You allow a reckless glance before tackling busy streets; his eyes meet yours in curiosity, hair even messier than the night he met you in front of the bar.
When he left his apartment in joggers and an old shirt, mane untamed and no extra clothing at hand, he probably didnât expect to abandon his place for so long. It gives you solace that he doesnât regret it.
You drop the million memories of yesterdayâs sunset burning into your eyes and everything that introduced it. The drunk words and the begging.
And then drop everything that followed afterwards; more pleading, more touching, more confessions that were in no way uttered through inebriate but not quite through sobriety either.
âWhat are you thinking about?â he asks.
You drop all the remembrances to focus on the moment; just to make sure that itâs real. So you ask, âWhy didnât you wash your hair there, too?â
For a moment, you see a flicker in his eyes, short-lived and quick; and his answer shoots out even more rapidly, âJust so.â
He emphasises his admission with a shrug of his shoulder, but itâs not nearly as convincing as he anticipates. Not buying a word, you push again, âCâmon.â
âI swear.â
âIâm curious now, though.â
Thereâs a momentary drop of silence before Jungkook hums, thinking as though heâs crafting a plausible excuse. Then, he says, âI didnât wanna be away for too long.â
ââŚWhy?â
âWhy would I want to be?â
AhâŚ
Hmm. Well, maybe thatâs enough for now.
Maybe heâs still not used to laying his secrets open. Maybe you need to practise patience, too, and stop digging like that.
You know thatâs not all there is, but you certainly understand that itâs not a lie after all. Despite the pause and the obvious way his brain racked for a reason, his tone is genuine. Youâve experienced his insecurities before â thatâs not what it was this time.
So you focus on the steering wheel instead, turning it left and away from the truck you drove way too close to. Your distraction might kill you â right there, next to you, clearing his throat and sitting up.
âOh,â he says, segueing, and you let him, âwait, I forgot. Could we stop by at Yoongiâs for a sec? I wanted to see how heâs been doing.â
An abrupt change in topics, but not too abstract. As someone merely acquainted with the man, youâve been collecting info on his state from Jimin; of course Jungkook would drop by personally.
You take a look at your digital watch; itâs barely ten and you donât need to get away before 10:45. Taehyung agreed to meet with you to accompany you to your new potential flat again, so you should have time for a detour.
But.
âIs heâŚâ you start, âgonna be okay with me being there?â
âWhy?â
âI mean, just âcause�� You know. We werenât the closest for a while.â
Jungkookâs forehead wrinkles in new perplexion, muttering a few words. It takes a couple seconds â but eventually, he figures out that youâre not referring to Yoongi and yourself, and his expression changes immediately.
To subtle pain, youâd guess, like he doesnât want to relive the memory. Like it never happened; like you werenât two pieces of the same shattered heart this entire time.
But then he sighs, a hand wandering to your thigh. He kneads it softly, as a reminder to himself and to you that the past isnât transpiring right now; that youâve finally breathed and waded through it.
His optimism is encouraging when he says, âNah. He thinks youâre cool.â
âI guess,â you mumble. You tap the steering wheel nervously, lips in a thin line before you add a hushed, âAnd if not, thatâs alright, isnât it? Like, hey, as long as you like me? Yeah, I shouldnât overthink itâŚâ
Jungkook releases air through his nose. You perceive a subtle shake of his head, as if to scold you, hear him say earnestly but gently, âDonât worry about me. I donât just like you.â
And whether casual or not, his words engulf your body immediately, like a soothing warm touch across your chest, yet effectively freezing your beating heart in place.
You canât pinpoint whether the weight of his own words ever affects him as much as it affects you, or whether harbouring these emotions has become a familiar habit to him. At least to you, his tone is conversational and promising, perhaps even subliminally reassuring.
âAt the very least,â he continues, âheâll never disapprove of you the way Jimin disapproves of me.â
Which⌠snaps you back into reality for a second.
Your friendâs name is connected to more than mere dislike for the man next to you; currently, you think of dark nights and lamp-lit streets. After-midnight shenanigans and near tears in your own car, driven by the man who broke and mended your heart.
It reminds you of a blurry picture; two guys standing near an entrance, the older of them patting the otherâs shoulder; smiling at him.
You do wonder if it was a fabrication of your mind.
âForget Jimin,â you tell Jungkook, speech broken when you take another left and resumed when broader streets start. âAlso. He did say heâs growing fond of you.â
âBecause you like me. I still need to prove my worth to him.â
You tut.
âKook, you donât need to do anything. Heâll come around eventually. Just be you.â
âItâs fine, honestly.â He leans in, nudging your elbow, echoing you with a teasing undertone as he says, âAs long as you like me.â
You love it when the initial nature of your relationship breaks through the mist of newfound passion; when you find the foundation of what you were, remembering how you landed here.
Which is why you bite back a laugh the moment you suppress a sassy, teasing remark, as if on reflex. One steer shy from pulling into a parking lot, you breathe out. If you halted here now, youâd kiss him, youâre sure.
But you merely laugh, squinting your eyes as you say, âYouâre okay.â
Yoongiâs apartment, now inhabited by only one instead of two people, lies a couple miles from the campus. Jungkook guides you through the streets, jumping from one harmless topic to another â you reach his friendâs place a lot faster than you expected.
The building stands at a quiet place, surrounded by mid-high trees that give the grey colour of the complex a bit of liveliness. You walk to the entrance laughing about something stupid, a subtle nudge of his shoulder here, you pushing against his arm there.
But despite the familiarity and whatever occurred last weekend, itâs still odd jumping into the girlfriend role just yet. The word itself wonât even roll off your tongue very easily so far because you canât believe a thing about this new reality.
So your hand dangles next to his awkwardly. Your thoughts keep drifting, registering half his sentence at times. What-if situations of gentle kisses and upcoming nights spent together tighten your chest.
Jungkookâs speech is clear and fluent, so you donât know what your impact on him is exactly. At least heâs made sure you do have one on him â but you still wish you had a map through his mind to understand every thought he houses for you. Every emotion.
On the way up you feel a little dizzy; whether itâs due to the circular shape of the staircase or his proximity, you donât know. You only realise that somethingâs still bothering you when youâre halfway up, coming to a halt with one foot on the next step.
âOkay, seriously,â you say, and he turns to you immediately, puzzled as he drops to the same level as you. Close to you.
âWhat?â
âYou said you didnât wanna leave,â you repeat, still stuck on the hair washing and staying longer thought, âwhy not?â
The answer could be simple. Could be rooted in emotions and the confessions you later uttered â but there must be something more. You saw it in the brief feeling flashing across his eyes, sitting in the passengerâs seat with silence sealing his lips.
Maybe something happened⌠because something always happens.
âYouâre still thinking about that?â Jungkook questions, eyes wide in disbelief; lips pouting.
âNo secrets, right?â
This seems to snap him out of all mysteries, last nightâs conversation travelling to the forefront of his mind. But something about your curiosity amuses him. He wraps the fingers of his left hand around the staircase reeling, head dropping with a delicate smile.
His hair hides his eyes, but you know theyâre sparkling; voice a mild drizzle when he starts, âItâsâŚâ He draws in, inked digits touching your elbow before moving up your arm absentmindedly. âDonât worry so much. Itâs nothing harmful at all.â
You wait. Let his thumb graze your neck, up to your chin.
He sighs, almost exasperated in a way. âYou speak in your sleep, you know?â
Wait. What?
You blink, thoughts disoriented. The staircase is dimly lit, but you recognise the slight upward curve of his lips; more empathetic than teasing.
So you still do?
âHuh?â you make.
âI think you dreamed of waking up a couple times? You hadnât, though, and itâd always be something about being alone again.â
Again.
The word reverberates through your mind, dragging and stretching. Didnât you once read that a broken heart is akin to serious rehab, accompanied by withdrawal symptoms and slowly healing scars?
You guess your heart was hurting more than you already knew.
âOkay,â you say, nodding when he does, thumb lifting your head when you drop it. You swallow thickly. âWhat did I say exactly?â
He shrugs one shoulder. âI donât know anymore. Something about me leaving. And I was scared of waking you up while gone âcause youâd actually think Iâd left.â
You hum. Allow yourself a moment to process the info; you seek out fragments of your dreams, but you draw a blank. You feel guilty about his concerns, yet relieved. Vulnerable. And somewhat reassured.
âIâm sorry,â you finally say.
Your voice is barely above a whisper â less because of the conversation. More because of the touch on your cheek. Itâs soft against your skin, and you shiver. The flutter in your chest is only just bearable.
Thatâs the thing about falling in love. Itâs sweet â so much sometimes that it twists your guts. Youâre in so deep, you could hurl.
âNah. You donât need to worry about this anymore, okay?â he murmurs.
His eyes dig into yours. Dark and shiny through his healthy tresses, livelier than ever. Sincere.Â
You, on the other hand, must look unconvinced without intending to, because his mouth aligns with yours soon after.
He exhales, tilting his head, and says, âLook,â leans in, leaves a featherlight kiss against your cheek, right next to his thumb, âI mean it.â
Guess being with him comes with occasional mental blackouts. And regular arrhythmia. The palpitations behind your ribs are almost ridiculous; instead of gripping your own chest, you grasp his shirt immediately.
Lightly, as if you could collapse without this anchor.
He lets you pull him closer just a little, whispering as if someone could hear, âWhatâs wrong?â
Vulnerability hidden, you blink again, and joke, âNothing. Just thought you were gonna kiss me.â
Jungkook smiles. His nose brushes against yours, toying a bit, and his bunny teeth make him look somewhat younger when he voices, âYou want me to kiss you?â
âI always do.â
Your grin is playful, but your heart is pounding in your chest. Who wouldâve thought the journey from a car to an apartment could be so long, so thrilling?
His snicker is gentle and canorous, knees careful against yours. Your heartbeat accelerates some more, rose-tinted lips opting towards their goal. You part your mouth, ready with a deep breath.
But the two of you are always subject to disturbances â so youâre disappointed but not surprised when you hear rushed steps on top of the staircase, strolling down and crossing your path just when Jungkook backs away.
The stranger passes by you with initial surprise in his eyes, not expecting you, but soon gets over it and drops his gaze again. And once heâs gone, Jungkook winks, a hand on your back pushing you forward gently.
âLater,â he says.
You know as you ascend the stairs.
Know that with the ease with which you handle your feelings for each other, youâll strive towards a future where you wonât be haunted by dreams of being alone. Where you wonât fear his departure, and where his kisses wonât be interrupted by this cruel world.
The building reminds you of when youâd frequent the dorm you used to know. The walls and hallways are similarly built, narrow and somewhat cheap. They look like most buildings from the inside do, honestly, but you like the pleasant illusion the nostalgia brings.
Even the bathrooms are located near the end of the hallways; Jungkook once told you that Tae and Yoongi have their own kitchen, unlike him back when he still housed his dorm. But thereâs a communal bathroom here, too; allegedly one reason why Tae moved out.
The only thing that separates this place from Jungkookâs old dorm is the subtle difference in scent. Not pure testosterone.
You smile.
The mood doesnât match with what you felt back in June at all.
Back when you stomped to Jungkookâs dorm, furious about yet another insignificant issue, you didnât think your fingers would ever be brushing his like they are now. Or when you escaped the rain and entered the buildingâs warmth, your umbrella leaving behind a trail of raindrops.
Your relationships, your priorities, your emotions. Your universe changed faster than the seasons.
As you walk past a random door, Jungkook cranes his neck, staring as if he could x-ray-glare a hole into it and glance at what lays behind it. Perhaps heâs thinking back, too.
You donât know about all the things he experienced throughout the years there. Part of your heart stings because you remember you werenât the only girl who ever frequented his place.
But you still left an impression â if the current status of your relationship isnât proof of it, then the sudden touch along the back of your hand certainly is. A thumb following a vein blindly, opting to grasp your palm into his, yet retracting when you finally come to a stand.
The digit caressing your skin lifts to the door, and his knuckles knock three times, rhythmically. Your chest constricts as you jump back into the moment, probably half as nervous as youâd be if you met Jungkookâs parents.
A moment stretches as you wait for Yoongi to open, allowing yourself just another spiralling thought as you imagine actually daring a meeting with Jungkookâs parents. Itâs too early to think about it, isnât it?
Itâs just.
Since yesterday, youâve created a dozen different scenarios in your head, ranging from a civil, calm conversation with his father to a full snap. Half of you wants to know his genuine thoughts on his sonâs sorrows; the other half wants to rage and then bolt away.
Ugh.
When the door swings open, your hand flashes to Jungkookâs. A startled instinct, even though nothing about the action was surprising or scary. But he doesnât mind â of course he doesnât.
His eyes rush to yours for a second, warm and somewhat thrilled, his smile permanent. And then he looks back at his friend, quietly squeezing your palm, the shy smile soft as he greets, âYouâre walking without clutches, huh?â
Yoongi doesnât respond right away. He looks from Jungkook to you and back. His gaze isnât very telling, but you find amusement in it. If you werenât so ridiculously and inexplicably nervous about his upcoming statement, youâd laugh.
Intently, he grants a peek at your entwined hands, and when he looks at the two of you again, he startsâŚ
Smiling.
Gummies all out, a tiny laugh thrown in between before he says, âOhoho. Youâre here, too?â
The smile turns into a sly grin, a hand clutching the frame of the door. You guess heâs not as balanced after all. Possibly just abandoned his clutches for the short way from the couch to the door.
âI can totally go,â you tell him, the teasing tone missing; soft and small instead.
âWhy in the world would you?â Yoongi steps aside carefully, nodding the two of you inside. You oblige, hearing his voice behind you jest, âNow, would you look at that. Did I do that?â
Jungkook automatically drops on the chair at the tiny dining table, like heâs arrived home, and you follow; make yourself comfortable on the seat next to him. There are three chairs, as though carefully chosen for the pair of friends who used to live together and a guest.
Next to you, Jungkook huffs, leaning back as he watches his friend plop onto the chair in front of him, and asks, âHow would youâve done that?â
âWell, you guys gathered at the hospital because of me.â
Right. Good point.
If he just knew how that night played out. Actually, you think he just might, yet not quite aware of its severity.
âNot because of you,â Jungkook promises, âI just charmed her again.â
You laugh. So does Yoongi.
He isnât irritated or taken aback by the youngerâs boldness; in truth, he seems entertained. Arms crossed, eyes small and grin wide. He half mocks, âThe young ones are charming for sure these days.â
âSpoken like a true Grandpa,â Jungkook remarks. You press your lips into a thin line, but with a faint smile. You only listen; youâre in the territory of two friends who spend their time roasting each other. Youâre not on that level yet, so you observe. âBut I had to.â
âYou had to, huh?â you joke. Okay, observation broken. Your body tilts towards him. âYou didnât need any of your charm for⌠this. But still good to know.â
Because you wouldâve been putty in his hands, no matter what â charm or not.
"Can confirm," Yoongi agrees, nodding towards his friend, "that he was also a proper mess the last couple weeks. Very out of character."
Your eyes roll to the side to catch a glimpse of him, but the moment you detect the rosy dust on Jungkook's cheeks, you avert your gaze immediately.
Admittedly, the guilt in the middle of your chest is undeniable. But there's comfort in knowing you were never the only half who was deeply, perpetually falling.
Yoongi scratches his temple, doesn't meet your eyes; possibly shy when it comes to conversations like these. But he sounds warm and gentle when he says, "I'm really glad you guys are back."
Youâre similarly timid, feeling strange. As if someoneâs congratulating you on a fresh marriage. Or maybe thatâs just the emotion you want, need to feel.
You say, âThanks.â And then, ever-so-terrible with compliments, add a little, âLetâs say it was you. Double thank you to the man of the hour.â
Yoongi pulls a grimace hitherto unseen; it doesnât faze Jungkook, but the Joker-esque grin and wide-eyed nod have you bursting into laughter. His friends are pleasant, you think.
If there was a way to lure Jimin in and convince him of this groupâs collective appeal, you wouldnât hesitate. Thereâs only a limited time you want him to play the petty, protective friend.
âSo, how have you been?â Jungkook eventually asks.
Yoongi rubs the corner of his eye, stretching his injured leg under the table, âNever better. The bank is surviving without me. Besides, I havenât gotten around to making some music in a while.â
âTae did tell me you were enjoying your days off.â
Jungkook reacts with a tiny chuckle, but your eyes widen. You let him finish his sentence, and then spit, âWait, wait. You make music?â
âOh, I mean⌠Iâm not any good,â he explains, wiggling a hand, a little startled as if he forgot you didnât know yet. âI just. Make a few beats every now and then and write my own bars and stuff.â
âWait, rap?â You stare between the boys, to and fro, only a little offended that you didnât know you had a brooding future musician in your midst. âCan I heaââ
âNo.â The answer is immediate. You pout. âBefore you ask, I am way too much of a coward.â
âHeâs amazing,â Jungkook intrudes.
And you whine, âUnfair, Yoongi.â
He imitates your expression, leaning back, copying your stance, and answers in the same childlike tone, âWarm up to me first! Iâll show it to you one day.â
âOne day Iâm gonâst hear it,â you declare, overly dramatic with your chin up, âyou have my taste in music, you know? I know Iâll like it.â
âDonât tempt me.â
âI can try.â
Yoongi blows a raspberry. Youâre not sure what you expected; maybe subtle hostility. But the sense of casual camaraderie is refreshing; lounging comfortably in his living room was a picture far from your mind until now, and you think he enjoys the unforeseen gathering, too.
Because after a moment of stillness, a faint smile touches his lips, his voice back to normal and deep as he remarks, âItâs nice that you guys came. I get bored here a lot.â
Right. You kept wondering.
You donât dive into the matter immediately, instead drenching your voice in a teasing lilt, âEven though Jimin visits you?â
âShut up.â Mock exasperation rolls his eyes as Jungkook appreciates your joke, one foot pressing against yours under the table. âNo. Itâs just been lonely since Tae moved out. Itâs a two people thing with two bedrooms.â
He shrugs his shoulders, attention fully on you. Jungkook either doesnât have much to say or doesnât want to interrupt. Only listens.
âLiving here alone feels like Iâm wasting space and money,â Yoongi finishes.
Curiosity piqued, you probe, âWhat did Tae say when he left?â
âHe offered to let me move in with him. But thatâd be pointless.â
âWhy so?â
âHeâs awesome for offering, but I think he wanted his own place, you know? Why would I intrude then? But I did tell him Iâd look for another place.â
âHave you been?â you ask. You still remember how happy Taehyung looked last time you met him alone.
How he spoke so highly of a life on his own, gladly interrupted by the occasional visits Eun granted him. Yoongi, you think, would probably benefit from acquiring his own place, too â one that doesnât remind him that someone left him behind, inhabiting a vacant space thought for two.
âEvery now and then,â Yoongi admits. âWill think about it some more once my legâs healed.â
You nod in understanding, a thoughtful hum escaping your lips. Yoongi soon leans forward, naked arms on top of the table, and delves into a discussion about the rising costs of rent.
He outlines the challenges of finding the right place in the bustling city, and explains his worries about the empty space in a too-large apartment. And you listen intently.
But as minutes pass, you canât help but notice the contemplative silence Jungkook has fallen into.
Itâs always the same with him â thoughts you canât read, questions you need to postpone.
Because you do glance over at him, observe the distracted furrow of his brow, the distant look in his eyes. You understand heâs once again lost in unknown thoughts, and you sense how jumbled his mind must be.
But you still decide to hold off for the moment, out of respect for the ongoing conversation. You donât focus on addressing his apparent preoccupation until it keeps going until later, way after youâve bid Yoongi goodbye.
âWhy do you seem so reserved?â you ask in the car, his home your new destination.
It must be around quarter past ten; you should still be able to meet Tae within half an hour. Yet, despite the brooding rush, you canât help but wanna drag out the ride, finish this conversation.
âHm?â he voices.
Did he not hear you? Maybe.
You sigh, seeking an available parking spot. Youâve already turned into his street, way past the park, halting close to his entrance. The engine dies, sudden silence inside the vehicle.
âOkay,â you turn towards him, forearm against the wheel. âYouâre a lot less enthusiastic now. Whatâs up?â
He looks distracted. Drags his teeth over his full, pink lower lip hard enough for you to repeat, âHey. Whatâs wrong?â
âUh.â Cue big boba eyes flitting to you. âI was just. Thinking about something.â
âWanna share?â
âYeah. Yeah, uhm. I swear Iâm not trying to be mysterious, just. Not sure how to phrase it.â
Heâs easing himself into this whole thing. The entire opening up act and being fearless with his feelings. So you donât push him, but encourage, âTry. If not now, then maybe later, though?â
âNo, no. Now is fine.â He frees his eyes off the dark bangs when he shakes his head a little, preparing to voice his hidden thoughts. Then, he breathes, âYeah, soâŚâ
One more second.
And.
âWhat if you dropped your plans of moving into that apartment?â
Oh. What?
Does he mean what you think he meansâŚ
There are only two options, right? And you choose to go with the one that would embarrass you less if it turned out wrong.
âShould I⌠do you think I should stay with my family?â you ask, your voice cautious.
But when his hands shoot up, immediately denying your assumption with round eyes, you breathe out through your nose. Relieved when he clarifies, âNo, not at all. I mean, itâs up to you, but thatâs not what I meant.â
So thenâŚ
âSo youâre sayingââ
He interrupts, rushing before he can back down, âMove in with me. And Yoongi could take the apartment you were considering.â
Fuck.Â
You didnât expect your heart to jump up to your throat like that. Itâs a day full of brief heart failures. You barely know how to react anymore.
You stare. Then stare a bit more. And eventually, you simply ask, âReally?â
âYeah, I meanâŚâ He gulps, averting your gaze all of a sudden before it lands back on yours. You chuckle quietly, unprompted, and it boosts his confidence. âYou stayed at mine for days and it worked. It could⌠you knowâ keep working.â
The suggestion lingers like a fresh breeze, grazing your cheeks and twirling around you like a soothing force. He beams â though subtle, he seems to interpret the simultaneous rise of your eyebrows and your lips immediately.
Still, he inquires, âI donât know⌠too soon?â
Technically yes. But then again, no. Because heâs right â youâve already experienced a piece of heaven, tasted the bliss of domesticity with Jeon Jungkook.
âYou really are serious about this, yeah?â
âOnly if you want me to be,â he counters, less tense than before, but a hand rubbing in nervous circles over his knee, âif not, then I was absolutely joking.â
An awkward, little chortle fills the small space of the car; you shake your head, teeth out and smile bright. Thereâs sweetness in knowing that his affection is real. That the thought of shared future pains, joys and days â that itâs all actually become so unbelievably real.
The car is cool in the shadow, but you feel a strange heat coursing through your body. At the end of the street, you see the sunlight brighten the moment he laughs. Fitting.
The crinkly eye smile softens when he reaches for your hand, pulling it off the wheel and wrapping it in his. Thereâs an automatic reaction in your chest, a constant racing when he says, âI mean it, though.â
Brief pause. He looks down to your fingers.
âI think I got used to having you there. And then, at Yoongiâs I had this⌠I donât know, overwhelming urge to tell you. That,â his teeth worry his lip, releasing it softly, âI want you next to me for as long as possible.â
You understand.
He means every minute that society and norms donât force you out of the house. At nights and in the mornings, on off days and holidays. To fall asleep next to his presence, to wake up on the same mattress, too.
And the longing is undeniable; you know that it is. But youâre already swamped with decisions as it is â could you call off the apartment right here, right now? Rethink all you discussed with the landlord, Taehyung or yourself?
Life decisions are harder than that, and despite all the wants infiltrating your body, you canât dive into this without a couple more following thoughts.
You keep gazing into his smouldering eyes, more intense when he looks up. Let their effect send a thrill down your spin, a surge of yearning through your veins.Â
And then, you acknowledge the need for prudence. You savour the moment, let the anticipation built, and flash a sultry smile to ensure that, yes, if not now, then one damn day, Iâll be yours entirely.
âI donât think Iâve ever wanted anything to work more than this,â you admit, âbut I need toââ
You halt. Words come hard to you these days; and the two of you are sensitive. Itâs not easy to reunite after weeks of overthinking and distance; and you donât want to provide more reasons to overthink.
But you forget that as sensitive as Jungkook is, heâs just as understanding and gentle, too.
Because he says, âYou need to think. And I know you canât just pack your things and move over, I justâ I wanted it out there.â
âI know. I know.â
âAnd I,â he continues, âI actually thought you were gonna say no right away since youâre getting out of your childhood home just now, so naturally, you would wanna be alone for a while andââ
You lean forward, pulling your hands out of his grip. His eyes shoot down, baffled and confused, but you donât give him a second to think or speak. In a momentâs notice, his cheeks are squished between your palms, his bunny face now akin to a duck.
âI donât want to be alone. Iâve been alone all my life,â you tell him; Jungkook eyebrows furrow in empathy and worry, but you smile, âI donât wanna be anymore.â
His expression and voice are dorky when he speaks, first words incomprehensible. You let go, watching the red splotches on his cheek, and he repeats, âIs that a yes?â
âItâs⌠I donât know. A to be continued.â
âIâll live with that.â
You donât know if itâs the electrifying prospect of a life together or the confidence he follows his statement up with, but the insanity burns wild in your head. Untamed and dizzying.
âAnd Iâll wait for however long.â
âI didnât even ask, Iâm sorry⌠but are you starting work later today?â
You stand in the middle of Taehyungâs living room, a hand over your eyes to protect them from the bright sunlight. Heâs busy piling the saucers and the cups, and you wait as he drags a vocal in thought.
âNo, no. Iâm off today.â He stands, and you automatically walk the short distance to the kitchen, lingering at the door frame. âNeed the afternoon for an appointment at the doc. So yeah.â
âOh. Everything okay?â
He doesnât speak yet, dishes in the wash basin too loud. They clink and rattle; the moment youâll move to an apartment by yourself, youâll have to wash them yourself, too.
Maybe you can make your place as aesthetically pleasing and beige as Taehyung did. You donât know â you couldnât imagine much today nor discuss further details about the contract and rent and general house rules.
The landlord bailed on you last second. And Taehyung sacrificed over an hour that he couldâve spent keeping Eun company between her morning lessons.
You apologised the second you entered his apartment instead, thankful for the invitation to tea, yet harbouring guilt for wasting his time. But Taehyung proved incredibly kind, waving off your concerns immediately.
He asked, playfully offended, âSo youâre saying a tea party with me is a waste of time?â And then he laughed, immediately shaking his head, âNah. Itâs fine. Am glad someone finally prefers tea over coffee, too.â
So now youâre here.
âYeah, just a check up,â Taehyung answers, âvamps drew my blood and will tell me today if itâs good or not.â
âInteresting way to refer to doctors,â you admit, backing away when he leads you to the exit. You need to be at work in forty minutes tops. âGood then.â
He hands you your blazer, silent for a moment before he says, âTalking about feeling unwell.â You look up, arm halfway through the blazerâs sleeve. âWhat were you doing getting shitfaced like that?â
âUhmâŚâ
Word travels fast. Your cheeks heat up, fingers curling into fists. You smack your lips, letting out a tiny laugh, and ask, âEun told you, huh?â
âMhm. Scolded her for taking you to the bar and leaving you alone.â
You sigh.
You shouldâve guessed that sheâd tattle. And of course you might appear like the helpless, heartbroken girl, seeking comfort in alcohol, dark clubs and blue neon lights. Itâs a little embarrassing, actually.
âKook was there, though,â you defend.
âI know. I called when he was still at your place.â
Huh? What else did he do when you were asleep? Painted a Louvre-ripe masterpiece, probably.
Taehyung decodes the dozen questions in your stare, tumbling until his back leans against the wall. He explains, âWe just talked for a sec. He sounded worried, so I didnât prod too much. Just donât do these things anymore, okay?â
HuhâŚ
You can imagine it well. Partly because you remember the way he looked at you that night: distressed beyond belief, giving you soft orders, insisting on help everywhere â the car, the shower, the bed.
But also because you know him.
And you donât think you needed to see him in those very moments to know he mustâve brushed through his silky hair. Mustâve looked through your room, gaze stopping over your sleeping figure.
Voice strained on the phone, yawning, shaking his head because he must have been a little mad at you, but comforted that you were resting, too.
You remember the tone of his voice, soft as a piano tune but saddened nonetheless.
âWhat did you drink? Youâre⌠in such a bad state.â
You shake the words off. God, he was there for you more than youâll ever know.
You say, âThatâs nice, though, Tae⌠I didnât think youâd ever get so worried about me.â
âHey. Youâre still my friend,â he promises.
Heâs possibly been the only person throughout this entire ordeal to not be pissed at you or annoyed by you. You never doubted that he still liked you.
âI might not know you inside out like Eun or Jungkook do, but youâre part of this group. So naturally, youâre important, too.â
You push your hands into the pockets of the blazer, gripping the car keys inside. Bashfully, you smile. His sincerity pumps warmth through you; itâs crazy how good belonging somewhere, to someone, can actually feel.
Itâs refreshing. New.Â
âWow,â you murmur, shuffling your feet, âthank you.â
âYouâre glowing, you know. Thatâs nice.â
âAm I?â
He nods. âI canât wait to see him glow either. A couple weeks were a couple too long.â
Those couple weeks felt like someone ripped out the hands of time, keeping them from moving. Your brain aged faster in that time, deep in a bottomless abyss. You donât want to experience it again.
And you donât want to imagine Jungkook in the same pit again. Looking for you, but bumping against walls, painted with his past that made him stumble back instead of pulling him forwards.
Your eyes trail down the hallway, looking at the small paintings and decorations on the wall. You take in the furniture, inhale the pleasant colours. Imagine his living room in its entirety, the sunlight seeping through the windows. Curtains pushed aside.
Your apartment could be like this, too.
But.
âTae,â you begin. You wrap your fingers around your rattling car key; lick your lips. âDo you think Iâd like it here?â
âHmmm,â he voices, gazing down as if he could look past the parquet floor and to where your potential apartment stands nearly empty. âYeah. I mean, I like to think so, because Iâm very happy here.â
He stops abruptly, the tone of the last syllable not matching a sentenceâs end. You wait as he smiles a little, creating a thought, âBut you could be happy somewhere else, too. Happier even.â
His words hang in the air, a sense of both possibility and uncertainty tangible. You were wanting to venture into this new chapter of your life with hope, but also with trepidation.
Suburban areas are nice, but you opted for the heart of the city â the vibrant tapestry of dreams and opportunities. You didnât expect the journey to be fraught with sudden doubts.
The best thing, however, is that doubts and dilemmas never seemed this⌠tempting.
You tell him, âThereâs always a place that makes people happier, for everyone.â
âYeah,â he said, voice tinged with wisdom. âOnly, some people already know of it, and some keep searching for it.â
âAnd I amââ
You pause, anticipating for him to finish the sentence; he responds, âYou gotta know.â Thereâs a playful twinkle in his eyes, support and acknowledgment hiding right behind â matching his words, âIâd be bummed if you didnât become my neighbour, but. Also just happy you guys are happy.â
Too kind for this world.
In your endearment, you laugh, suddenly stepping forward for a brief, thankful hug. A silent gesture of gratitude for his friendship, no matter how shallow or new.
The people you surround yourself with offer endless reassurance, and youâre lacking the words to express your appreciation.
âThank you, Tae. Eunâs right when she praises your constant respect for other people, you know?â
Taehyung, maybe a little perplexed, brings a hand to your back, patting gently as he states, âNo worries. The worst is over.â
You hope so. God, you genuinely hope so.
You pull back, tucking your hair behind your ear and bid him goodbye with one last nod. Taehyung closes the door behind you with a humorous thumbs up, and you grin before itâs silent in the hallway again.
Thereâs a tiny window outside, overlooking the street down there and the cars flitting by. The area isnât as peaceful as Jungkookâs â more lively and noisy. You can see the cityâs river if you look far enough.
And as you step closer to the glass, you envision your own apartment again. You imagine the soft glow of the lamp before you go to sleep. The comfortable couch you want to plant in the back of the living room, curling up with work or your laptop or a cup of hot chocolate.
You picture the view of the city as you step to your open window, glancing out as the steam of your beverage swirls in the evening air. Contemplating the world outside.
But then you start rethinking Jungkookâs words, too. The idea of belonging and happiness, of domesticity and what could be.
And at last, you visualise what itâd be like if you didnât see any of this â the lively street, the river in the distance. Wonder how youâd feel if the horizon looked different.
If you stared out and saw a different canvas instead.
The changes in your life are drastic in some way, but Jungkook always stays the same.
Your house lies quiet most of the time; as days pass, you frequent your room, then drop by in the living room, greeting the staff, grabbing dinner and retracting back to your beloved bed.
Jungkookâs apartment, baby-sized compared to your place, allows a much livelier atmosphere. Maybe because you donât need to yell for him to hear you from another room. Or maybe because itâs just the two of you.
Perhaps even because you find solace in the couch, in the smaller smart TV in front of it, the glass table, the carpet, the homely furniture in general. The scent reminds you of wood, but you connect it with him, too.
Itâs different from the room you grew up in. Different from the luxurious chimney and marble youâve seen all your life. And you must admit that you enjoy it a lot more, too.
One of the few reasons why your mood changes from exhausted to merry the moment you knock at his door on Thursday. He was expecting you, because when he opens, he beckons you inside immediately, pulling you in and planting a generous kiss on your cheek.
A smooching sound accompanies it, his foot closing the door as he suggests, âDinner first or TV?â
âShoes.â You laugh. You slip out of your thin jacket before tackling your snickers quickly, your clothes suddenly itchy and uncomfortable. âShoes first, and then shower? Can I?â
âYeah, of course.â
Itâs not the first time that youâd be doing it. But thereâs still something new and pure about this new chapter of your life; one that comes with polite questions and reinventing reality, apparently.
Redrafting life as you knew it and striving towards something better.
âI knew it, actually,â he says, forefinger wiggling, âI put a fresh towel on the washing machine. Also had a handful of your shirts here, so thereâs one of those on the towel, too. And my joggers⌠Sorry, you left none of those, uhmââ
Heâs started walking ahead, scratching behind his ear, but when he notices you not following, he looks over his shoulder. Blinks at you, staring into his living room and back, innocent voice unsure, âCome?â
âYeah. Yeah, justâ you didnât have tââ
âI know,â he interrupts, breathing a sigh in faux frustration, âI know I never have to. But I figured youâd wanna shower.â
ââŚThank you, Kook.â
You wish you could say more; express your gratitude the way you want to. At least your body is jubilating, craving the hot steam of the shower. Starving further for some peace when you step into the bathroom and detect the neatly placed clothing.
Jungkook halts at the door, gripping its frame, a little shy as if you didnât breathe each other in for the last couple of weeks and months. Heâs looking at you, waiting for something, and when you raise an eyebrow in curiosity, he snaps out of whatever daydream he was in.
âOh. Right,â he mumbles, cheeks flushed, âsorry. Iâll leave. Can heat up the food. Or, or do you wanna order in?â
âAnythingâs fine.â He nods. Opts to walk away, big hand flattening his hair at the back. It takes a moment for your heart to riot as you watch him leave, immediately babbling, âActually. I wasââ
Returning within a moment, he looks alarmed. Less so when you point a thumb to the shower and suggest, âDo you wanna join?â
âYou in the shower?â
No, doofus. Join to watch the washing machine unsoil your sweaty clothes.
You clear your throat. âYeah?â
âI uhm⌠Is that okay?â
Goddamn. Redrafting life as you knew it, you said.
You just didnât expect the two of you to still tip-toe around each other. Seems you still have a lot of adjusting to do.
You try to break the ice.
âActing like Iâve never seen you naked.â
âNo, I know,â he responds, âI was just thinking that youâŚâ
You canât quite decrypt what heâs trying to say, but you do perceive the flash of concern in his eyes. Itâs a tiny glimpse, barely there; but you see it. And you think about it.
Try to understand, let moments pass â until youâve grasped his thinking.
The night he helped you clean up was the last time you stood under a showerhead together; maybe he thinks youâre still connecting it to the nightâs trauma or borderline dangerous intoxication. And perhaps youâre wrong.
But you still take a breath, and then segue, âAlready took a shower, didnât you?â
You know he did. Heâs addicted to cleanliness, sensitive to scents; he hoards diffusers, skin care products and new underwear like a treasure. And showering is always the first thing he goes for, a beeline to the bathroom after work out sessions and intense summer days.
You follow up with, âItâs okay, if you did. Iâll just go alone and hurry to dinner, then?â
âNo, no⌠No, itâs fine.â He starts his sentence fast, but slows down halfway through, awkwardly. âOf course I can join. Whatâs some extra refreshment, right?â
âThatâs the reason, huh?â you mock, laughing when he shrugs his shoulder. âKeep acting like youâre not the biggest simp around.â
Your confidence boosts his own, too. The signature smile is soft, lips curved gorgeously, but the subtone of his words is teasing, and even a little cocky.
âOf course. I know, I know.â
âCome then.â
You offer a stretched hand, curling your fingers in and outwards, and he places his warm palm into it like a key to a lock. Albeit tense and nervous, your body feels good next to his. The telltale awkward signs of a new relationship donât deter you from indulging in its sweetness.
So youâre not surprised at how quickly you undress, throwing each otherâs clothes at the back of the washing machine and planting kisses whenever one of you bares their shoulder. Eyeing each other from bottom to top.
You think you ogle for a moment too long, though â and how could you not with the freaking silver chain dangling from his neck?
An exciting evening lies ahead, you can already tell.
Itâs fresher now outside, and all of Jungkookâs windows are open. Despite the cosiness of the bathroom, you rush under the hot shower stream.
Only, itâs not as boiling as youâd like it to be. Jungkook starts and finishes his showers ice cold, so you screech when you meet water from the Antarctic. You jump on your spot, arms around your torso.
And when you allow yourself one single glance at him amidst the breathlessness, you notice that the asshole is doing it on purpose. Same old. Rouses core memories.
Jungkook wipes over your hair and your face, drenching them thoroughly. You only realise heâs smudged your mascara when he starts rubbing underneath your eyes gently, managing to get some of it off.
âFuck,â you curse, âI forgot about that. Should I take it off first?â
The intention is to slip out, use one of his cleansing skin products and get the mess out of your face before stepping back to him. But you donât make it far anyway; he yanks you back before your foot can even touch the mat.
And then, the moment passes in a blur.
Tense body back against his, he tugs you close. Holds both your wrists in front of your breasts, leaning in without a warning, and then â connects his dripping lips with yours.
If there was any space to gasp, you would. Instead, your fingers instantly dig into your hand, sharp nails scarring the skin. You move your fists, trying to touch him, but he holds you in place firmly.
That is, until his digits relax, trailing up your shoulder to your neck, jaw and then to your cheeks. Face in your grip, you let him control the pace. You find an anchor in his bicep, holding on; kissing isnât enough.
You wish he could eat you up. Wish the tongue finally touching yours, swirling around it, was everywhere on your skin at once.
You feel a slight twitch underneath, right against your body; ready to devour, hopefully soon to explode. But Jungkook gasps for air when his lungs give out, allowing a break, backing away with your face still between his hands.
And then, he utters something surprising â something you didnât expect in the heat of the moment at all.
âI was meaning to tell you something.â
ââŚOh?â
âIâm uh. Iâve been meaning to tell you for days. I just never quite got around to it and we were so busy and tired all the time andââ
âWhat is it?â you break in, heart pounding at an unnatural speed. âIâm here now, soâŚ?â
For a second, you expect this to take a whole different turn.
The database in your brain empties the moment you scour it for an answer, preparing yourself for molten knees and dissolving hearts. Or maybe, itâs already clarifying to liquid, jumping out of your chest and flowing down the drain along with the water.
But he doesnât say what you anticipate. Though, what he does admit has your nerves glowing neon white anyway.
âSoâ the first night of my showcase. On my birthday?â he starts. You feel the muscles of your face change, and he sees it, immediately assuring, âNo, no. Donât worry. I was just gonna say that a guy came to me by the end of it? AndââÂ
He lets all of it sound like an unsure question. But you think you know where itâs going â you hold your breath under the already suffocating water.
âAnd?â you prod.
âAnd turned out Namjoon invited him, and heâs kiiiinda a big shot in the art business? Like, heâs a gallery collector, he said. Heâd invest in my art and acquire it and have it showcased in bigger museums for more recogniâ I know!â
Your mouth and eyes opened halfway through his quick explanation, fingers back in fists, pressing against his solid chest and then moving up to hook in his silver chain. Youâre restless in the congested space, suppressing the high pitched sounds.
He puts his hands on your hips, snickering in joy as he says, âBe careful before you slip.â
âYouâre kidding!â
âThankfully Iâm not, angel,â he shakes his head, bangs sticking to his forehead, ânot this time, at least.â
You raise a hand to his pec, tapping against it, âWait. So just so I understood correctly â theyâre gonna put up your stuff there for an even bigger audience to see, yeah?â
âI mean, the gallery is definitely far bigger than the exhibition I participated in.â
âOh my god, Jungkook, the exhibition already had a shit ton of visitors!â
He nods, proving a point.
You feel an electric current in your blood. Pride, thatâs what itâs called, too. You sling your arms around his neck recklessly, nearly falling, but you canât be bothered as you exclaim, âThis is soâ I donât even know how to react, Kook!â
And who could convince a big-shot art connoisseur so quickly after graduation anyway? Jungkookâs god given talents are never praised for nothing â you knew it. Fucking knew it.
Wonât make it anywhere, your ass.
âThatâs so fucking awesome.â You stare, out of breath all of a sudden. God, if there was a way to express your delight. âWhen is it happening? Are you selling the one you showcased?â
âI donât know yet. And no. Thatâs too⌠personal to me.â You blink, nodding. Still overwhelmed with how his pieces made you feel â of course theyâd hit even harder for the artist himself. âHe wants something in a similar style, though. Iâll make something new for him.â
âWhatâs it gonna be?â
Itâs a simple question. You swear itâs nothing too deep.
But Jungkookâs gaze changes. An amused, delighted expression replaces a neutral one, head tilting to the side just a little. His lips, already slightly swollen from the kiss, move up, eyes kind and sugary.
If you only knew how your small details affect him, too. How you looking at him like this, expectant eyes split wide, innocent and gentle, shoots an arrow to his heart.
You just donât know.
He brushes the hair sticking to your cheek back and tells you, âYouâll see. Iâve been working on it these days, but. Will show it to you when itâs done.â
You canât even be mad. If it was up to you, youâd probably wait for the big day, too â canât spoil the surprise, need to cry tears of pride and joy in public.
So all you say, deep from the heart, is, âYouâre the fucking coolest person I know.â
âNahââ
âThe coolest.â
âFunny,â he retorts, as bad at compliments as you; throws them back like a boomerang, âthought the same when I met you at the party last year.â
ââŚGross.â Thatâs what you say. But you still shake your head; overwhelmed, smile plastered to your face and cheeks hurting. âGod, Kook.â
And thatâs all.
You keep holding his stare, finally too tired of the distance to endure any longer â and then lean in. You stop a couple inches away, watch his head angle more, mouth steering towards yours. The smile is mutual, fingers seeking a spot to settle on on each otherâs bodies.
Your heart monitor would be wilding right now â the effect of your lips meeting clear as day behind your ribs. And this time, you donât stop.
The push against his chest is immediate, his feet slowly tumbling backwards. His tongue burns hot against yours, your lower lip fitting perfectly in the gap between his lips. Thereâs a sharp hiss when his back finally touches the tiles, mouth open but not leaving yours.
Teeth soon clash, and you opt for more of his taste, well aware that you just cannot kiss more than you already are. His hands move up and down, never settling, both your lips harsh and impatient. Your tongues keep moving in patterns, thirst never quenched.
You break the kiss solely for oxygen purposes, but he uses the moment to let his palm wander from your face to your hair, grabbing a patch. One hand pushes against the small of your back, though soon dropping to your ass, fingers between your ass cheeks, teasing the clenching hole.
Fuck.
The moan isnât intended, but very welcome â you love the sound of it as much as he does, followed by his own. An automatic reaction. His hips indulge in the tiniest movements, length jerking against your body; no more than an inch of his fingertip pushing into your ass.
âFuck, Jungkook,â you breathe, eyebrows furrowing, mewling against the corner of his lips. âMore, now, please.â
Itâs an attempt. Of course he wonât act that fast â you know him well enough. Heâs been a soft gentleman often enough; but after holding back the past few days, missing it for weeks, you know it won't be easy on him either.
One of you will be on the brink of tears soon; until now, itâs usually been you.
You take a deep breath, agitated when he laughs. He retracts his hand, smoothing back his chaotic mane before leaning in for another peck. And thatâs all it remains â interrupted immediately, saliva mixing with the shower water.
âIâm so fucking crazy for you,â he confesses; the shiver doesnât hesitate crawling down your spine â neither does Jungkook, peppering your neck with kisses.
His actions are smooth â you let him do anything. Like, explore every little spot of your skin. From the softness of your face, down to the flesh of your ass, echoing hard when a flat hand slaps it out of nowhere.
You propel forwards, barely aware of your surroundings. The shower raining onto you is the only indicator of where you still are.
So when he turns you carefully, 180 until your back touches the tiles, you donât realise his intentions for a moment. Only when he changes his approach, digging your shoulders hard into the wall, knocking you out of breath.
âAre you trying toââ you ask, but he interjects right away.
âDonât question it this time, okay?â His face inches close again, teeth suddenly pulling and nibbling at your lip. âJust let us do. Lemme do, yeah?â
His chest presses against your tits before he backs away and palms your mounds, squeezing nearly painfully.
For only a heartbeat, though â he doesnât stall further. Because another second passes before youâre turned in his grip, chest not touching his anymore, but the wall now. From behind you, he grasps your hips, dragging you back just a couple inches; enough to sneak his hand through.
âBut whenever things get too much, youâŚâ
You nod. Promise, âWill tell you. I will.â
âGood.â His cock pokes between your ass, and he spreads its cheeks. Lets the hardness rest between them, sliding up and down. âGonna make you feel so good, though. Wanna make you feel so fucking good.â
Wow⌠wow, fâ
Not that you were ever interested in it before, butâŚ
Part of you wants him to shove it in anywhere. Wherever the fuck he wants. Youâd endure all hour-long foreplay and pleas and tears for him.
And perhaps heâs thinking the same. Perhaps you even spoke it out loud â you wouldnât be surprised if you did. But you choke on your spit when he says, âMissing the sex toys. Like⌠What do you think of new ones, hm? Someday, maybe. Likeâ like an anal plââ
âPlease,â you beg, âIâll do fucking anything for you.â
Break in conversation. Then, âHoly shit.â He chuckles. Fuck â his voice is deeper now, isnât it? âYouâre being whiny. I thought youâre a badass business woman, but youâre so whiny.â
âBecauseâ I can breathe when I work.â
âOhh. And now,â he whispers, close to your ear, hand moving. Up and further up, stopping around your throat, as if heâs testing your statement. As if he could tell him anything about the state of your lungs. âNow weâre not as focused, right?â
âNo thinking when I suck your dick.â
âDammit. Really donât wanna wait to fuck you numb.â
Youâre shamelessly jittery, patience out the window. âDonât then. Get to it now.â
âNope. I know youâre not ready yet. And Iâm not either⌠soââ
He steps closer, forcing your body further forward until your cheek is squished against the wall. His fingers leave your throat to find another target; something far more south, a lot more dangerous.
One small circle drawn around your clit, you gasp, hearing him ask, âYou think you can come with just my fingers?â
âI donât know. I honestly think I needââ
He chuckles, and you canât help but laugh, too. Youâre hilarious sometimes.
âYou think youâre so smart. But we can still try, though.â He says it casually, as if the two of you donât exactly know that heâs perfectly capable of pulling through. But his voice still softens when you donât answer, âHey. You wanna try, sweetheart?â
âYes. Anything,â you convince him, âanything, Kook.â
âGood girl. The best, always.â
His touch vanishes. You let out a mildly confused sound, observing with an unfocused vision how he opens the shower door a little. He reaches for the towel on the washing machine, drying his fingers, other hand moving the shower head until itâs mostly wetting his own back.
Itâs a tiny detail, really. You only told him once how action around the clit might become uncomfortable with hands priorly washed or wet, and it seems he remembered.
Your eyes shut when he returns to your bundle of nerves, massaging gently, skilled. It starts slow at first; you feel the hot wetness build in and around your entrance, the line between the shower water and your arousal fading.
Jungkookâs movements, calculated and systematic, only spur your body on. Heâs always known what heâs doing; has analysed and explored what you want. How you want it.
Itâs true heaven to you: the way he kisses your cheek. The way he draws moans out of you, the motions around your swollen bud rhythmic. Your back and limbs tingle; you donât know what to do with yourself.
And when you canât stand still anymore, Jungkook orders, âStop that. Youâll break my jaw.â
âSorry.â
Your apology is timid, tiny; he laughs. âYou cutie⌠youâre adorable even in moments like these.â
You throw your head against his shoulder as if to oppose him, opening your eyes, looking straight into his eyes. Your eyebrows are kissing, tension between them, mouth agape.
And he adds, âOr maybe not.â
He lifts you up a bit, dragging your body along the wall â you didnât even notice that you slid down this much, angled, ass darting out like this. But you also donât mind the arm that rounds your torso, just underneath your tits, keeping you steady when he takes it up a notch andâ
âOh my god,â you squeak when he pushes two fingers in. âYes, yes, pleaseââ
The incoherent, random requests are his favourite. Most of the time, he knows better than you what youâre pleading for. Which is why he doesnât stop this time; probably more in the mood to please you than tease you.
From this position, he canât reach knuckles deep, but just enough to brush the walnutty spot inside. And to your surprise, the orgasm builds up fast; the first quiver takes over your knees, but you understand that this is nothing compared to whatâs to come.
You press your hands to the wall, holding onto remnants of your sanity when he kisses your neck, and along your damp shoulders. His mouth is hot against your pulse, wet hair tickling under your jaw. He bites lightly; soothes the fleeting sting with his tongue. Vampiristic.
Like a sensual massage, well thought out, pornographic.
And then he picks up on pace. Whispers, âThatâs rightâ we got thisââ
He starts pumping into you; relishes your incomprehensible curses. The thumb over your clit and the impatience of his fingers inside are a dichotomy, and you donât know what to focus on. Which is why you stop thinking altogether.
Jungkook takes a sharp breath, quiet whistling sounds included, and then groans into your ear when you do. He keeps his motions up diligently, fingers a bit deeper with each time your ass moves back an inch.
As an aid, he shifts his arm, too, pushing forward, palm pressing against your clit now.
And when you come, you melt. Nearly collapsing, you keep moving, on edge, every spot of your body in tremor. You can barely breathe; youâve been nestled in the heat of the shower for way too long.
He notices your tremble in an instant, encourages, âGot it. Got you. Keep going, baby, câmon.â
The peak is blissful; you donât want to ever fall off the edge again. Want to remain in this starry, gorgeous ache. Your eyes could stay in the back of your head; the world may keep fading. And you donât need to know where you are.
All you know is that your voice sounds odd, high when you pant, âDonât go away yet.â
âIâm right here. Right here, got you,â he repeats, holding you upright.
Jungkook knows â knows how to get you from lowest lows to your highest highs. Today was as pleasant as a day at work can be; but if heâs ready to do all this to you on any other, worse day, too, you might never encounter grief again.
He scatters kisses all over your jaw when youâre done â busies himself as you catch your breath, swallowing, eyes closed. Once youâve caught yourself enough to utter fragments of sentences at least, you tell him, âSomething not human about you, Jeon.â
âOh. Are we back to surnames now?â He cackles, soothing motions along your arms. âAre we gonna shake hands, too, once weâre done? Bow and say thank you?â
You shake your head, though the stupid smile doesnât wait to spread on your face.
âYouâre dumb,â you say.
âYou make me dumb.â
He drops his touch, brushing your pussy again â maybe as a test. But youâre sensitive and vulnerable, closing your legs and opening your mouth in response. Heâs sly; uses the moment to push two fingers in right away, pressing your tongue down.
And you, as challenge-accepting as ever, start sucking, tasting some of yourself. You wrap your hand around his, moving your head, chest still heaving from the exhaustion. Your eyes close slowly enough for him to see them roll back, a reaction to the images your brain creates.
Like, the thought of the member currently poking you replacing those digits. The prospect of emptying him entirely.
âFuuuuckâ wish my brain could take a picture of this and save it forever,â he says, voice strained.
You open your mouth, licking a strip along his finger, past the tattoo. âWhatâd you do with it?â
âWould⌠would bring it to the forefront of my mind,â Jungkook begins, reclaiming his hand and dragging it down to your waist, âand use it whenever youâre away.â
âHmmm⌠and then?â
âWould justâŚâ
He doesnât continue. Only shakes his head, lifting his shoulders, stance desperate and wanting; maybe heâs even a little out of his mind.
You egg him on, âShow me if you canât say it.â
Itâs a surprise that he obliges, but then again, itâs not. You always forget just how weak he is â that his heart sits right there in your palms, his body a magnet to yours.
So youâre endlessly pleased when your eyes flit down to a hand around his dick. Stroking slowly, its head hard against your pelvis. And you manage to watch a tiny second longer until the floor beckons you towards it, down to your knees.
Itâs uncomfortable immediately; slick and odd. But youâre distracted by your dry tongue, thirsting, ridiculously hypnotised by the cock dangling in front of you. And then his thighs⌠muscular and thick. You reach out to them, holding them, steering forwards.
Despite his delicate frailty, you donât fare any better. Ready to bruise your knees like an obedient doll, eyes wide when you look up at him. You grip him softly, urging him to remove his hand, stroking in his stead.
You pass all pleasantries and hesitations, and dive in immediately â leading your mouth to the tip before wrapping your lips around it delicately. Determined, you let only a second pass, eager as you start moving right away.
Bobbing your head, you take him in as much as your gag reflex allows. Heâs too big â itâs impossible to ever swallow him fully. But no matter how greedy you are, thatâs it.
You donât give into it all the way just yet.
Instead, you back away after another lick. Straighten your body, drawing in and repositioning until you can push your tits together around the stiffness.
His groan tumbles out of him broken, choked, a hand against the wall. His abs are rippling, bicep bulged, nipples tiny and perked. Dark brown. Eyes hazy.
You want to do so many fucking things to him â want to mount him. Pull his head back by his long strands. Want, need to kiss him, rub yourself on him, back and forth along his cock until his moans become uncontrolled. Sticky white cum sprayed over his tummy.
Your nails in your skin, yearning for more â thatâs one of your billion thoughts.
Instead, you summarise your wants, whispering a single, simple, fucked out, âIâŚâ You gulp down the knot. Shiver at your position, craving the hot water a little now. Then command, âFuck my mouth.â
His eyes threaten to fall out of his head; like they always do. He knows itâs a constant reaction, too, it seems, because, âGod. Iâll never get used to you saying this.â
âYou better, though.â
âRight. RightâŚâ
He caresses your face, pushes your hair back. Perhaps heâs had enough of the pace; because he soon reaches for your arms, compliant deer kicked out of his head as he forces your wrists up and crosses them against the wall.
One hand is all he needs to hold them in their place. One hand gripping them hard, disabling any movement of your arms.
You let out a strange, obscene sound, finding utter liking in this gesture.
But despite your pleasure, he still eases you into the process, the heart tattoo grazing your cheek. A touch so soft that you think heâs praising you, wordlessly and gently. Making sure youâre absolutely okay with whatever he does to you.
And you confirm it with another blink, stretching out your tongue, ready. Holding his gaze. Mesmerised and frustrated, he says, âYouâll kill me with the way you look at me.â
Jungkook fuels your confidence with vigour each time, eloquent through scorching heat, too. Because you donât think youâve ever smiled this self-assured before you knew him; or been certain about your power over others.
You used to be far more insecure than that, feigning ignorance and carelessness, but reevaluating your decisions every step of the way. Months ago, you couldâve never predicted such a shift in conviction towards yourself.
So itâs new to you, but invigorating at the same time, the grin you sport, the words you utter, âKilling you isnât my intention,â when he doesnât, you move your head towards the leaking head of his cock, awaiting destruction, âwanna make you feel more alive than ever.â
The breath tumbling out of his mouth is ragged, pinky finger twitching a tiny bit when you wrap your lips around the tip and then let it go with a plop again; like itâs a lollipop to you.
Your knees move closer to his feet, and he stretches his one hand to your shoulder, making sure you donât get hurt on the slippery ground. But youâre far too distracted to appreciate the gesture just yet, even though you feel the faint tickling along your limbs.
âI got it,â Jungkook then says, back in charge, hands back on the protruding, thick veins.
He moves his hips forward, testing. You roll out your tongue once more, closing your eyes. Try to make more room in your mouth, despite knowing itâs a thing of impossibility. And to your chagrin, it takes only a few more seconds for you to be full already.
Taking in as much as your throat allows, you gag when you reach your limit, letting out a tiny cough, salivating. You still canât move your arms; his fingers are like chains around your wrists.
âThat enough?â he asks. âIâll stop here, okay?â
You nod. Wait. When he doesnât move, you start pulling back, and then push forward again immediately. Your tongue is drenched in absolute filth; the spit trails down your chin, and you wish it was his.
But thatâs not the point of it all â youâre not supposed to comfortably bop your head back and forth, are you? Despite the daily softness between the two of you, you want to be used. Want all his greed.
And he knows. Asks, âWhat do you need?â
Of course you canât speak. Heâs aware of that; stares down at you as you breathe heavily around him, mouth stuffed to the brim. Cheeks aching from the circumference.
You moan around him, parting your lips, moving your tongue from under his dick to swirl it around it a little. You move back, tasting the liquid minimally dripping out of his slit. Fuck, you want all of it, in thick, sickening ropes, in loads and buckets.
âWonât even back away to speak,â he teases, words contradictory, because he wonât allow you to take a break either. Shoves himself inside again; youâre embarrassed that you only manage half of his length. âThe dedication is hotter than it should beââ
Full, coherent sentences. How?
But even his string of thought breaks when he starts in earnest. Filling up your mouth once more, as much as he can and then a bit more for good measure. You adjust to his movements, suck down immediately.
You donât care about the loss of voice later; you want to eat him up entirely.
His strokes grow harder by the second, rock hard inside you. You move your head until the head pokes against the inside of your cheek, and the tight wetness affects him, his knees buckling by one single inch.
âEasyâŚâ he whispers, shaking his head, water drops landing on your face. âFuck. Wanna have you hanging off the bed one day. Wanna see my cock ram your throatâŚâ
Easy, he said. Heâs definitely not being easy on you, though. Not with these admissions. Not with his motions.
The thrusts arenât just hard, but deliberate and controlled, too. Your head keeps pushing back, lightly touching the wall. Youâre far over sucking his dick, way too obedient and submissive to define it like that.
No, youâre being fucked. Gagging and choking around him, sucking in the spit whenever only his tip remains inside, sounds lewd and specific. Coming from the back of your throat, wet, hot and bothered.
God, you wish you were strong enough to take him all the way down to the base, licking at his balls, feeling his twitching dick thumping at the very far back. But you guess this is more than enough for him, too.
Because he holds your wrists harder, a rope around them, digging into your skin. The free hand wipes your hair away again, your body sweat-soaked while the shower water still trickles down his back.
He holds you there; then reaches for your nipple; pinches it hard over your heavily heaving chest, pleased when you open your eyes and look up at him. Waterline damp â the dangling chain might just be one of the reasons for that.
âBit more,â he mumbles, and you think heâll surrender right there, inside your mouth.
Which is why you sit up straighter, more determined, licking at the underside of his cock when he drags it out a little. His balls hang in your face and you reach for them, tongueing, hungry, not wanting him to move away now.
He doesnât. Not yet. Relief courses through you, swallowing around his thickness again. Rolling your eyes back, hearing subtle âDoing well, so well, angelâs, ignoring the pain in your arms as he holds them upright.
You hollow your cheeks when he buries himself in deep, struggling when he stops right there. He doesnât move; your eyes well up harder. All air enters and escapes through your nose, and youâre shaking, holding his stare as he keeps his cock in place, absolutely still.
That is, until you can barely breathe anymore, nails digging into your palms, arms trying to escape. He doesnât say a word yet, only lets your hands drop. Your shoulders crack a bit, and you shake your arms, filling up your lungs, your palms next to his feet.
His cock is covered in your spit when you look again; your gaping mouth and chin similarly drenched.
And only when your head stops spinning, does he hold his hands towards you, urging you to take them as he says, âSorry, baby. You did so well, IâŚâ
You grip his fingers feebly, getting up on weak knees. Instead of holding onto your hands, he soon wraps an arm around your body, pulling you up before he asks, âLess next time?â
âNo,â the word comes out as a squeak, throat already affected, âIâll always tap if I feel itâs too much. I promiâ promise.â
âGood,â he praises, a kiss to your damp forehead. He turns the water off. âThatâs all I want, baby. Look at me.â
Youâre already exhausted, staring down, fatigue fuelled by the hot water. Your eyes flutter open as you meet his gaze, and he puts a hand to your cheek, thumb on your swollen lower lip.
âYouâre so gorgeous,â he compliments; his hand must be heating up under your touch, âdid you know? So sweet and stunning. It makes me sick.â
âThought I was the only one. YouâŚâ He looks at you, and you hold him tight, smiling about your joke in advance. âYou have such an effect on me, it makes me wanna throw up.â
Right. So in love, it makes your stomach turn.
âPlease donât,â he pleads, conjuring a tender eye smile. The wide grin is unreal. âAnd letâs get out of here. We canât keep standing here.â
âWaste of water.â
âYes, waste of water. That, too. And I should have some lube in the bedroom.â
Of course heâs as impatient as you â although youâre almost a hundred percent sure you could do without that stuff easily. The insides of your thighs are slippery, and youâre certain the shower wasnât the sole reason for that.
Your legs feel weird, your body heavy when you finally get out. The cosy bathroom is filled with steam and heat, but at least you can breathe easier here than under the piping hot water.
The mirror is fogged up; you glance into it to check your state, but recognise nothing but your vague form. You wipe a stripe the size of your hand along it as you walk past, halting at the door. And when you look back, Jungkook is making quick, brief work on picking up the clothes you haphazardly threw to the side before.
âYou donât wanna do this later?â you ask, still fond.
Itâs just him cleaning up the floor, but⌠you enjoy watching him do mundane things. You might never be able to explain why, but you do.
âJust throwing them into the washing machine. Will turn it on later,â he answers.
He straightens his body with a sigh when heâs done, sniffling as he usually does. His eyes are hidden behind his long hair, so he lifts both his hands to brush the soaked tresses back. The muscles of his arms are mountainous and firm. Tattoos ending at his shoulder.
Heâs indescribably pretty like that. Looking up, lips parted, jaw chiselled.
You observe him for a bit longer, gaze trailing down his body. Small nipples, broad and sculpted pecs, six painfully visible rectangles of abs. Cock still mostly awake.
Fuck.
Crossing your legs, you bite your lips, one hand on the door handle. You take in the domesticity. The moment might be subtle and casual, but something about it is incredibly homely.
How you speak to each other, and how his washing machine is cleaning both your clothes. Itâs the little things, isnât it?
Your eyes are fond when you say, âWhenever it does happen⌠I can already imagine all of it clearly.â
âHm?â He blinks at you. âAll of what, baby?â
âOf being here with you. All the time.â His motions stop. He drops his arms, a strand falling back into his face, but he doesnât care. Glances at you for a couple seconds until you smile and nod towards the door. âLetâs go.â
But it seems he changed his mind in this split second that you turn to the exit.
Because all of a sudden, just as he did before, he tugs you back. And just like before, you land against the wall, having him staring at you as if heâs seeing you for the first time. His voice is a whisper, enchanting, âOkay⌠you know what. Forget it.â
âHuh?â
âFuck lube, okay?â His eyes are glued to your lips. Then to your pupils. He looks lost. âWe can manage. Donât need the bedroom⌠just you. Want you right now.â
âJungkoââ
You donât anticipate it â so it draws a small moan out of you when his fingers suddenly graze between your legs, digging in for just a moment. Fingering you for a split second as you gasp â and then they disappear again.
He moves in to kiss your cheek. Just a peck first. Then his lips open against your neck, hand moving up your body and pushing your tit up. His tongue soon joins the fun, darting through his parted lips, sucking your tits hard. Biting, groaning, moaning.
âJungkook.â You push your touch through his hair as he kisses his way further down, nibbling at your sides, and you whine, âDonât wanna wait, KookâŚâ
His eyes are closed and his voice hushed, raspy and deep as he says between kisses, âIâll be gone for a moment, baby. Youâll barely notice, I promise.â
Strange how he means distanced from your kiss, not from your body. Strange how you miss each other while in the same room, but not melted into each other.
Youâre losing your mind. Throwing your head back, ruining your hair against the tiles. Eyes droopy and hazy, mind turning in various directions as you relish each touch and peck. Your body relaxes; all the weight of the world off your shoulders.
Jungkook fondles your body, caresses all of you, planting kisses on your tummy, your waist, your pelvis. Continues to tug at the flesh of your thighs with his lips. It feels like a massage, not painful but gentle. Careful as he hoists up one of your legs, throwing it over his shoulder.Â
And then⌠he starts.
His tongue flashes out to your clit. Parts your folds. Itâs difficult from this position, but his pointy wet muscle paints patterns over your pussy. And you reel.
Jungkook truly is an artist. Knows to make you mewl, turns your breaths laboured. You move your hips, guiding his face closer with your hand in his hair, slowly riding it. The French kisses, the brush against your thighs⌠heâsâŚ
God.
âGod,â you echo, âI love this, Iââ
Heâs feasting. Letting out alluring sounds, spurring you on, and you almost topple over the edge. But Jungkook knows what heâs doing â leaves you yearning, moving away and up to you.
When he said heâd be gone for a moment, he truly meant it.
Your lip quivers when he looks at you, ordering a soft, âYouâll come together with me.â He raises your chin. âOkay? You and I together. Always.â
Must be a hidden message. Heâs not just talking about sex anymore, is he? But him and you in one bubble, separated from the world. Nothing but you, you and you.
You barely wait another second. Instead, you immediately lurch forwards, initiating a kiss beyond sinful from the start. Teeth clashing, tongues feral. For a couple seconds you breathe into each other, letting out odd noises, his hand pulling your leg back up again and pinning it against the wall.
Youâre on your tippy toes when his cock teases your entrance, his lips soon on your shoulder again. Cold chain brushing your skin. Heâs sucking harshly, guiding his dick inside with determination. Sheer impatience is palpable in his touch and audible in his sounds.
The head of his dick parts your folds, diving in; and you let out a moan so lustful that he grows downright desperate against your shoulder. Standing here like this is hard, too; so he puts his palms on your ass, commandsâ
âJump once.â
âWhat?â
âJump,â he repeats, âIâll hold you. Want you, please.â
âOkayâŚâ you mumble. You put your hands on his broad shoulder, readying yourself, âOkay.â
And then you do â immediately wrapping your legs around him. And he lets you fall slowly, body pressed against yours, so youâre sandwiched between him and the wall; so he can guide his hardness back to your cunt.
You drop onto it slowly, carefully. Impaling yourself on him, inch by inch penetrating your insides. The more you take in, the deeper the crease between your eyebrows. And when heâs bottomed out, you feel like⌠yourself again?
Because what moment is more intimate than this? What moment allows you to crawl out of your shell more than this?
Even if in a crude sense, this is yet another definition of home. And every definition can be traced back to him.
âYou feeling alright?â he asks, and you nod immediately.
âIs a bit weird, butâŚâ you hold onto him, one hand moving to his face. You donât finish your sentence; only nod, exhaling against his lips.
âCan I start?â
Another nod; and then he starts pumping in. Slowly in and out; youâre firmly in place against the wall, slipping just a little. His hands engulf your ass again â his strength is mind-numbing, and his sounds loud as he splits you in two.
Your eyes shut for a mini moment, and when they crack open again, theyâre met with the still mirror. Itâs fogging up again, yet still clear enough to make out Jungkookâs back; the form of his body. Your thoughts tangle up.
Youâve seen him shirtless a million times before, fully bare â but it might be the first time youâre enjoying this very perspective. And the entirety of him⌠leaves you gasping. Butt naked, ass muscles flexing, the triangle shaped back smooth. Where do his guts even fit?
Theyâre a blessing, those reflections, catching the way heâs standing, ramming into you. And then you, burying your nails into his shoulder blades, expression fucked out, body moving up and down the wall. Having things done to you by him.
Youâre so fucking lucky.
You mutter, âKookâŚâ
âYes, baby.â
âYou look so good⌠soâŚâ
âMmmh, you do, too,â the sentence starts in a clear tone, but morphs into a whisper, âjust⌠canât see enough of you⌠shit, babeââ
He leans in, parting your lips with his, your tongues touching as he delivers a rough jab just once. And thatâs when things stop working for you.
Because soon enough, youâre swaying to the side, nearly falling; as his protective instincts kick in, immediately holding you, his cock jumps out. And he shakes his head, pecking your temple once, and then deducts, âOkay. This wonât do.â
âHmmm,â you hum in agreement, weak on your legs, âbad idea for sure.â
âHold up.â
Heâs quick to turn you around, thoroughly in charge of your body tonight â youâre fully under his mercy. Ready to kneel and bend for him. And Jungkook, understanding your boundaries, gives you all you need â knows what to do, knows when to stop.
And you keep handing over control; more so when he pushes you over the sink, stating, âOkay. Looks easier.â A pause. âLooks so much fucking better, too.â
Wish you could see. Fuck, fuck, fuck, youâre tense.
He leans down to kiss your back. His dick pokes between your ass cheeks again, slipping down and further down until it makes itself home between your nether lips again.
It falls into it in one fell swoop, swiftly, as if itâs no effort at all â guess it never is.
And god, does the position feel heavenly.
Balls deep inside; the first angle that allows full unhinged, animalistic mode.
But he still starts out slow; with long strokes and a hand in your hair. You tumble backwards a little, urging him to move too, lifting your ass higher and pushing your legs together for maximal effect.
Allowing more tightness for him; more friction for you.
âI⌠missed fucking you so much,â he says between thrusts. âYou feel unreal.â
You guess you do. He does, too. Maybe the two of you need a reminder that this is all too real; perhaps a tantalising equivalent to a wake-up-pinch.
So you suggest, âFuck me harder, Kook.â
âHmm⌠want that?â
âBeen waiting so fucking long.â
And while a lover of patience and anticipation â who is he to reject your wishes after the entire ordeal occurring in this room? The two of you have dragged out this moment plenty.
So he listens fast; soon using your neck as leverage as his inked fingers wrap it smoothly. Agreeing, âItâd be my literal pleasure, babe.â
God, heâs a dumbass â but you canât physically react. Too caught up in something else; storing the laughter and jokes for later.
Because he picks up on pace, not too much right away; but enough for his hips to slap against your ass. Enough for you to be catapulted forwards with a whine, cheek pressing to the glass.
You lift your hand, accidentally wiping again, but only manage a trail, hand sliding down. From behind, you hear a hoarse praise, âLooks so fucking hot,â he draws a sharp breath, nearly hissing, âI promise Iâll be careful, justâŚâ
He pulls at your hair. Shoves his cock inside rougher, face closer to you, lips to your cheek. Swallows hard enough for you to hear, and then, âTell me if itâs too much. Am careful until I canât be, baby.â
Until he loses control. He says it right before he drops all inhibitions and â goes feral.
You squint your eyes shut, calling out his name; the word echoes in the small room, and for just a second, you worry the neighbours might hear. And then right away, you stop caring again.
Because you want this man. Now and later and forever; want him like this, want him in any way. This isnât just sex to you â if thatâs what you wanted, youâd download an app like your freshman self used to.
No.
No matter how obscene, thereâs meaning in every one of your touches; in every stroke, in every word, in every single time you lose yourself in him.
Your stomach twists as he jackhammers into you; youâre craving proximity, craving all his attention. Want all of his emotions and touches raw and merciless. Want to see him.
Although, when your shut eyes open, you only see blurry forms in the mirror moving, him behind you. He squeezes your neck; you see that much before he slides it down your body, straight to your clit, no detours.
He pushes his knee up for a second, touching the edge of the sink and balancing on one leg, but drops it again soon. The white painted, stainless steel of the sink, previously cold on your tummy, burns against your skin now. A chafing feeling.
Jungkook draws more forms against your clit, but then retracts his hand; instead, squishing your tits, indecisive where to touch. But itâs the last move he makes before he straightens his body, palms on your ass until he spanks just once andâŚ
Pulls out again.
What?
âLook at me, sweetheart,â you register.
You pant, fingers clutching the sink and gulping down the tiredness before you manage a turn. Your eyes land on his dick first; itâs fully drenched in your arousal, so unbreakably stiff.
He whispers again, âLook at me,â but the moment you do, he doesnât withhold your stare for too long. Instead, his hands are back on your cheeks, drawing you close, seeking your lips. His never-satisfied thirst matches yours; you want to remain here and freeze time.
With your arms around his neck, he guides you towards the washing machine, pushing the clothes further aside. He helps you get on it, but you argue immediately, âThis could be dangerous, right? Shouldnât sit here, I think⌠might breakâŚâ
âItâll be okay,â he says, making himself comfortable between your legs, pushing them apart with his thighs. Two fingers hold your chin, lips ghosting over yours. âIs a cheap ass thing⌠want a new one anyway.â
You wonder if heâll say that about all the furniture heâll fuck you on. Because observing his eyes, you know that he will â will soil every inch of his apartment within, what you anticipate, a short period of time.
But unfortunately for the washing machine, youâre too weak to reject the offer.
So you hold him tight, jostling him closer to you as you ask, âYeah?â
âMhmmmm.â The word drowns in your moan when his cock glides back in; when will you ever get used to this? âDonât worry⌠wonât break as badly as we will.â
Well, fuck.
The ridges of his cock drag just right along your walls, the angle making your mouth water. Your cunt is burning; and he still dares to ask, âOkay like that?â
âMore than okay, Kook⌠more thanââ
He always screws you numb; barely ever lets you finish your sentences. Your moans have become a constant interruption, along with the goddamn things he says, âYour pussy is so good. So, so good.â
And then heâs back making out with you, sweatier than before. His body is enticingly warm, muscles working on you. Both his and your hair sticks to the nape of the neck or your back, and you hold onto him, keening against his lips.
Then, you lean back for a second, keyed up as fuck, propping up your body with your arms. Your palms press against the back of the machine, and he inches close to explore the bare skin of your torso. His chain skims your nipples, as if on purpose; and he kisses you here, there, everywhere.
Neck, clavicles, tits, jaw.
Perspiring without an end, all of this could be gross. But instead, you feel hyped up, sexy as never before. Dizzy at the sight of his golden skin, the small beads of sweat spreading on it.
It takes one or two more minutes of this insanity until things come to an eventual end. A glorious end, that is â filled with deep moans, squealed calls of names, unrhythmic thrusts that fasten for the finale.
âIâll come,â Jungkook states, and you shoot back up to him, holding his head against the mounds of your tits. He kisses between them, breathing irregular, words muffled, âGonna come so hard, what the fââ
And when he does, you lose all coherent thoughts immediately. Not that you could think before â but his uncontrolled exclaims already make you wish for a whole new round. Nevermind that your pussy is wrecked and beaten.
Vocal as ever, he finishes with deep shoves, slowing down with each second. His lips remain open between your collarbones, and you feel his eyebrows draw together. Thick strings of hot cum filling you up, your cunt tightens.
And somehow, after all this, he still finds the energy to sneak his hand between your bodies, blindly seeking your clit until he finds it. Familiar circles render you breathless, even though theyâre lazy â but picking up on intensity when he leans back, still breathing hard.
He looks absolutely done â still fucking the rest of him into you. But youâre moaning and groaning, and heâs far from giving up as he says, âCome with me, baby.â
Honestly, he doesnât need to tell you. Youâre already calling and blurting out random words, already limp. Wrapping your legs around his torso with the tiny remaining energy you have left, absolutely insane.
Jungkook kisses you one last time. And you let the build up in your lower tummy and pussy proceed; up and up and up to the peak â until he delivers one last stroke, cock already softening, finger on your nub diligent andâŚ
You milk his dick in its entirety. Your pussy clenches and unclenches. Random figures swim in your vision, flashy behind your eyelids. Limbs trembling, body a mess and fingers hooking into his chain, you only notice now that youâre repeatedly whispering his name.
Winding and crying. Trying not to tug too hard, to break the jewellery, but still urging him closer, closer.
Youâre shivering, surviving the vertigo, breathing stagnant. Trying to control it. Quivering like fucking crazy, not feeling your legs.
Also hating how his cum is dripping onto the damn washing machine. In your hazy mood, you laugh a little.
It takes a bit of time for the two of you to calm down, to dim the adrenaline in your nerves. Your chests rise and fall in unison, still clutching to the embrace. His skin is flushed, yours hot, skin tingling with the lingering heat of the passed passion.
And when he finally moves back, looking at you, you see half a dozen things in there. Satisfaction and vulnerability among them. Maybe even a hint of mischievousness, proud of whatever just happened; happy with the emotions it conjured.
Stars in his eyes. Contentment, composure and affection at last.
A pleasant stillness follows, the world outside the bathroom nonexistent. The aftermath of the steamy encounter lingers until you break the silence after all.
âWhen the hell,â you start, throat dry, âdid you get so broad?â
ââŚWhat?â
âYou just. You looked endless in the mirror. Youâre soââ
Amused, he displays a grin as sly as you adore. He tsks and then mocks, âStop drooling.â
âYou first.â
His chuckle is throaty; a result of the constant exclaims and the absolute dehydration. You give the two of you a moment to collect saliva on your tongue, to swallow and wet your cords.
Your fingers paint an invisible, light pattern on his skin; tracing his tattoos is one of your favourite things to do. You jest, âThatâs a good way to destress.â
He arches an eyebrow, then rolls his eyes â but the devotion towards you behind the gesture is irrefutable. It carries into his words, no matter how playfully mocking his tone or his sighs, âEverything for the princess.â
âSo,â you pause, lips curling into a soft smile. âIs this what Iâm gonna be getting for the rest of my life?â
You see it immediately. The explosion in his eyes; the burst of stars in the depths of his pupils. Clear as the night sky, fond and sweet and magical. Guess you spoke big words for sure.
ââŚThe rest of your life, huh?â he asks.
âNo?â
âIs that what you want?â
Ever-the-boomerang, you gauge his reaction, closing the distance between you. Lips barely apart, you throw back again, âDonât you?â
You donât need to glance through his ribs, lungs, blood and skin; you see the swelling around his heart. Emotions swimming in it in abundance. You see all of it right in his eyes.
And his voice proves it; delicate and quiet, âBaby⌠you make my heart drop to my stomach all the time. Do I not look at you like I want a rest of my life with you?â
Gosh. Youâre too weak for this.
âLook at me like that more often,â you answer, breathing against him, eyes dancing with delight, âmaybe Iâll believe you then.â
âHuh,â he makes, letting out an entertained huff, âbrat. Maybe later. Letâs get you cleaned up and dressed for now, alright?â
Right. You forgot youâre still here. Snapping back into reality is always a task.
Of course it is.
Because your world is a cocoon; you donât want to leave it just yet. And maybe, somewhere in the near future â you wonât have to anyway.
Jungkook and you donât waste minutes doing formalities tonight. No flickering candle flames; no organised set up of your table. You dim the lights, snatching a lamp from his bedroom and rely on it along with the TVâs brightness.
You filled your plates and stomachs with a dish heâs wanted to show you for a while. Itâs some special Jeon recipe â limited to him specifically, not his family. The brief cut in your relationship kept you from the meal, but watching him fiddle with the pots and cutlery was worth the wait after all.
Heâs still proud of it; youâre filled to the brim, sick to the core, but the noodle-Buldak-mayo-perilla-oil-combination introduced the night just perfectly.
Your body is limp against his after dinner, bloated. A mutual agreement concluded that watching a movie might be the easiest activity you could indulge in to further destress. So you cuddle up, eyes droopy as you wait for the Netflix logo and thump to subside.
You let the username float by, though unable to suppress your giggle. Your back shakes against him, his hand halting mid-air, remote control in it, and you comment, âLetjungcook7. Youâre such a dork.â
âWhy?â You look back, met with raised eyebrows and round eyes. âDo you not like it?â
âI love it. Donât you ever dare change it.â
He tuts, trademark smirk tilted; responds, âAnd donât you ever change your Sunny Baudelaire icon.â
âGod, sheâs an iconic baby,â you groan, enthusiastic; your hands gesture to the TV, Baudelaires nowhere in sight, âI will never shut up about this show.â
âThatâs why youâre not allowed to change it. Kinda cute how much you love it.â
âJungkook,â you tug at his unoccupied arm, placing his wrist and palm over your belly button, âwould you ever rewatch it with me?â
His hand rubs gently over your shirt, and then drops until his fingers are toying with your â his â joggerâs strings. âIâm a pro at rewatching. Iâm down.â
You whisper a dragged celebratory word, eyes back to the screen. Heâs scrolling through the genres fast, barely inhaling the titles and summaries. And when he skips three more of the stuff youâd usually settle on, you say, âDonât think youâll find anything on there.â
Ironically enough, he answers, âWeâve barely looked. Look. Knives Outâs second part is on there.â
âI just watched it recently. Hmm, what about that Poe movie with Christian Bale?â
On cue, he passes it three seconds later, only stopping on it for a moment before he voices, âHmmâŚâ
You wait. Drag out another second. Then conclude, âOkay, youâre not feeling it. Got it. Something else?â
âWhat about Disney?â
âWhat about scrolling until we fall asleep?â
The hand still busy with the strings moves up to your sides, pinching you lightly. You flinch, hard enough to nearly break his nose, overdramatic by nature. Amidst your commotion, you hear him say, âDonât mock me. Iâll kick you from the couch.â
âIâll just stay on the floor then.â
âAngel, I swear.â
âOkay, okay. Sorry.â
But youâre not.
Because the bicker continues for another ten minutes, remote control snatched every now and then, ideas suggested and immediately rejected.
Jungkook admits his guilty pleasures merely a couple minutes later, and you conjure all your patience and discourse abilities to explain why you canât watch The Notebook or Titanic anymore.
But once Dionâs soprano voice builds a nest in a lobe of your brain, you give in, half laughing, half agitated as you tackle the 90s classic â only for Jungkook to click out again.
âItâs no fun when weâre not both ready to watch it.â
âDudeâŚâ
More scrolling, you guess.
Five more minutes pass â and eventually, Titanic deserted, you sing the songs of Coco instead. You expect Jungkookâs attention and lips to shift halfway through the movie, tracing down your neck or along your sides â a standard for a weekday movie night.
But to your surprise, he powers through it with minimal dialogue and wide, focused eyes. Palm above your ribs, moveless under your shirt and his cheek pressed against your heartbeat, you assume heâs fallen asleep by the time the credits roll.
Until â you feel warm liquid wetting your shirt, a sniffle combining with his shaky breath before you ask with your own damp eyes, âBabeâ are you crying?â
His answer is delightfully unashamed and immediate, âIâve never watched Coco without crying.â
The soft strains of the movieâs soundtrack wonât let your eyes dry either; but Jungkook seems far more into it than you. Adoration burns hot in your veins.
âYou never told me that!â you exclaim.
âBecause itâs not worth telling. Should be a given â these movies are made to cry to!â
You giggle through your tears. Jungkookâs mind works in miraculous ways â non-judgemental, yet probably flashing a side-eye to those who do not partake in a sob fest during Coco or Encanto.
âI honestly love how youâre not a toxic male at all, you know?â you point out; you feel a huff against your chest.
At least heâs smiling through the brief sadness, too.
You crane your neck, not quite turning around just yet, and watch him rub his cheek clean off the tears. Not that his eyes have stopped welling up, though.
For a moment, you observe, staring at the swollen, pouty lower lip. His pupils glimmer in the TVâs light, long locks brushed back; half of them tied in a tiny ponytail.
You could overthink every detail of his face. Tell him all about his everlasting elegance. Instead, you only lower your voice, soft as you say, âYou look pretty even when you cry.â
âThank you,â he returns, though fingertips still work at the liquid, and you canât help but laugh.
You can barely believe thatâs the same confident beast who was pressing you against cool tiles just an hour ago. The stark contrast baffles you.
Youâre amused when you question, âIt really affects you so much?â
âEverything about it!â he immediately argues. You expand your eyes. âThe way Coco looks at Miguel at the end. And that freaking moment when she meets her parents at the end. Does it not affect you?â
âOh, of course it does,â you defend, âIâm a story girl. Iâll cry reading and watching these things, for sure.â
âAnd then the lyrics,â he continues, in his element a hundred percent, âthe thought of remembering someone even after theyâre gone and far awayâŚâ
The further his sentence progresses, the more the words blur. His voice is feeble, hoarse when he gets to the final syllables. When he pauses between his rambling to draw a breath, you hear a heartbreaking shake in his inhale.
And the exhale sounds like a quiet sob.
You turn back immediately, pressing onto the pause button, remote control still in his hand. The credits darken the room as opposed to the movieâs colours before. You see a damp trail along his cheek, eyelashes wet.
Your smile vanishes as you stare a little longer. The blanket falls from your chest into your lap when you lift your arm from under it, hastily drying his tears with your thumbs. Just slightly, he leans into the touch, but his face soon falls, an attempt to hide.
You ask, âWhatâs wrong?â
Jungkook isnât embarrassed of tears â you figured this out without him admitting it to you. But heâs embarrassed of the guilt he feels; acknowledging it when he speaks.
âItâd just be nice,â hands holding his face drop; you touch his chest, âto make up with the family like this. They made it look easy.â
You keep looking. Bewildered, unable to answer for seconds too long. You blink until the words sink in properly, incapable of more than, âIâm sorry, baby.â
âNo, no,â he argues, shaking his head, âI mean. Who am I to tell you something like this?â
âItâs okay. Your worries are legit worries, too. Look at me,â you reassure, prompting him to meet your gaze. âYouâre not a bad person. Okay? Itâs⌠so terrible that you think you are.â
âI fucked up.â
It dawns on you once more that he firmly believes that; causes a searing sting. The process is neither a smooth nor a quick one â you know itâll take a while for him to convince him otherwise. To drop his current beliefs about himself.
âYou didnât,â you refute, firm certainty and conviction in your voice. âThatâs not how a fuck-up is defined, I promise you. And those who are actually wrong probably know, too.â
âItâd just be nice,â he starts again; the shrug of his one shoulder doesnât distract you from the misery and self-loathing in his eyes, âif he called at least.â
âI know. I donât know, I⌠do you think you could call instead?â
Jungkookâs lashes brush his skin, the apples of his cheeks not as round and squishy as usual. Yet, the sadness makes him look younger, softer.
You sigh; a warm blanket isnât enough anymore. You need to wrap him in the comfort of the world â ideally, in his fatherâs care.
Jungkook opens his mouth for another argument, but then holds it in, says after another moment of contemplation, âActually⌠Thereâs a gathering coming up. Iâll see my people there, so⌠I donât know. Trying wonât hurt, right?â
âIt never does.â
His eyes start unfocusing. You recognise it in the way he glues his gaze to a point on the glass table, unblinking, staring nowhere in truth. You keep your attention on him for another second, hoping heâll look at you, even if forlorn.
But when he doesnât, you wrap your arms around him instead. His chest is calmer against your head now, breathing as soft as the palms that find your back. He presses you into his body by mere inches; you barely notice.
Your fingers draw shapes on his arm, a subtle consoling gesture. In the background, you hear the song fade, volume lower now. The movie soon transitions to something else; you donât pay any mind to it, drowsy and distracted in his embrace.
But then your mind wanders; to the man keeping Jungkookâs thoughts hostage. You remember the conversation the two of you had last Sunday. You recall the way your hand held his broken heart together.
You wish it was as easy as a small scar â an echo of whatever once transpired, but also a reminder that it healed.
Then, for a second, you think of your own wounds. How they still need to be cured, too. How years and time alone wonât fix issues; you need to tackle them actively â maybe at some point, the two of you can.
You laugh softly against his shirt, burying between his pecs; joking, âWeâre perfect for each other. Dysfunctional families and whatnot.â
His chuckle is still a light tremble, but genuine enough for you to celebrate. His hands push a little harder into your back; your body shifts up his lap, butt half on his thigh. Eyes shut, still sniffling.
Jungkook wraps around you like a soothing force, an invisible bubble. A bandage despite carrying all bruises. You sigh in contentment, head dizzy from exhaustion; waking up just when he blurts a question again.
âYou really think that, right? That Iâm not a bad person.â
You crack your eyes open a slit.
You understand. Someone who overthinks needs multiple repeated reassurances â youâre the same.
So you nod against him, guaranteeing, âYouâre⌠kind of ridiculously amazing. Youâre someone who gives all those people hope who donât believe in humanity anymore.â Pause. âAnd I admire you in every way. So much.â
He doesnât respond. You wait. Further dead silence, interrupted by the soft sounds of the TV. You lick your lower lip, dropping your gaze to where your thumb rubs his wrist. Tracing a vein.
His mellow voice reverberates, a melody to your eardrums when he whispers, âWeâd do this so much if you were here all the time.â
âCrying in each otherâs arms, huh?â
He clicks his tongue, accompanied by the grin youâre certain graces his face, even if you canât see. You hear it in his voice all the more, âSure. Also, have dinner together. Shower and watch movies together. Laugh and cry.â
You smile. âI still canât believe it, you know? That you want this⌠and me at all.â
âYou feel that, too, yeah?â Fingertips move up your spine, between your shoulder blades and then to the nape of your neck. Tickling, grazing gently. âI promise I wouldnât ask if I didnât truly feel all that, though.â
âWhatâs all that?â
âJust.â His chest rises. Then falls. âEverything.â
One of your heartbeats freezes, youâre sure. And when it comes back alive, you think â maybe he doesnât need the worldâs comfort after all. Or his fatherâs care. Maybe yours is enough right now.
But then again.
Youâd be damned if you kept your traumas intact. Or his. You took each other as you came long ago â as vulnerable human beings, with a whole lot of baggage. With all the injuries on your heart.
Yet, this isnât a state you want to accept. For neither of you.
Your unwavering belief remains steadfast â that one day, things need to become⌠okay.
So you gulp down all the pain, lighting a candle in your chest, and say,
âItâs not over yet, baby.â
Zara keeps yelling orders around. Her voice, usually collected and tender, is agitated today. You can barely imagine how many little tasks, how many stressed phone calls must be overrunning her.
You establish a distance between your device and your ear, protecting your hearing with one eye squinting shut. And when she returns to the conversation, you exhale through the nose.
âSorry. You were askingââ
âHowâs it look?â you repeat.
âI mean, everyoneâs stressed,â she responds, clearly frustrated; as if it should be obvious to you. And it is; but youâll spiral, too, if you donât keep your calm, at least. âA lot to do.â
âYouâre sure you donât need me to come earlier?â
âAll good, love. Youâre not a manager yet,â she stops her speech to mumble something to another co-worker, imaginary hands jam packed with preparations for the press conference. âBut when you are, you wonât know what to do with all the stress.â
âGreat outlook into a potential future.â
âI just mean you should enjoy things while they last.â
Zara isnât the only one wandering up and down the building to assure perfection. Sheâs only one of the big mentors, managers to handle everything; responsible for the catering and content to be presented at the conference.
Her team stands firmly behind her, but you donât blame her for still allowing her head to steam. Of all busy people in their blazers and slacks, however, sheâs been the only one to spare some time for you.
Youâre grateful for her enthusiasm and support. You smile as you ask, âDo you think I can answer everything the way I intend to?â
âI think so.â
âItâs so new to me.â
âYeah, but youâre a natural at this stuff. And also,â she speaks slower now. The chaos behind her has calmed a little; her voice echoes off somewhere. Perhaps a restroom. âThings are looking good.â
You stop sauntering through the room, pausing in front of the bedâs corner before dropping onto it. Dragging your tongue over your lower lip, you blink, and then ask, âYouâre sure?â
âWe had a couple conversations over here. Made a few more phone calls, and I think you donât need to worry about a thing. Weâll come up with something if things derail, though, okay?â
Youâre uncertain, still anxious. Should this afternoon flop, youâll be screwed.
You need it to succeed. You canât afford misfires. Ugh.
Restless, your foot taps against the floor. You try not to think of things going astray; try to think of a smooth progress, not precarious in any way.
Yet, you ask doubtfully, âCan we do that?â
âWe always can. Thatâs business.â
Guess sheâs right. Your mother has saved you one too many times â from stupid things you did as well as from things you never needed saving from.
A rich human beingâs power over the media â and frankly, the world â is unbeatable. Barely to be underestimated.
âOkay,â you mutter, âthank you.â
Despite only hearing her voice, you imagine her nod, the way she often does. You miss the warm, promising palm on your shoulder. Appreciate that sheâs still here instead of dropping you to the side; leaving the call to handle more relevant issues.
No, she lingers there; you hear her breathe until she asks, âAre you bringing your man, too, by the way?â
Your man.
You straighten your back in pride, bright smile back, âYeah! He said heâd come and support me. But heâs not home yet.â
âOh? Well, you gotta be here in three hours. Whereâd he go?â
âGod knows. But donât worry about punctuality.â You hear a hum, glancing up at the clock. Past noon. âHey, also. My parents are definitely gonna come, right?â
âBabe,â she drags the word a little, and you can almost see her side-eyeing you, âjournalists will be present. Cameras everywhere. At least your mother would never miss such a thing.â
Right. Cares about that company too much.
You remember the times she proved it to you. When youâd come home from middle school, eating some extravagant lunch while watching her talk on TV. Conversing with your staff.
âOkay. Good,â you say, happy about that very answer for once.
Outside, a door creaks. Steps echo through the hallway, a soft call of your name following as you hear the jingling of keys stop.
He sounds joyful.
You get up, phone halfway off your ear as you say, âHey, I should go. I think that heââ
And the moment you look at the open door of the bedroom, your heart stops. For a second, you fear an intruder at his apartment, but the longer you look, the more your brain gives out.
The black-white-red jacket hugs his broad shoulders comfortably, the thin white sweater underneath it nearly transparent enough to reveal his tiny nipples. But despite his stature, itâs not his body that kills the power in your head.
Itâs theâ
You murmur last words into the phone, making out a goodbye that doesnât reverberate as much anymore. Sheâs probably out of the restroom again; too distracted to give your mumble any attention anyway.
You place your phone where you previously sat and inhale his appearance carefully.
First off â you can see his ears. Can see most of his eyes. His forehead.
His hair is still dark, but itâs tamed. The wild locks, usually a feature youâve gotten used to over the span of that one year, lay comfortably on his head. In fact, most of them are gone.
You feel a needle in your chest, but one of the surprising sort. Not painful at all.
âWow,â you only say.
He reaches to the nape of his neck, fingertips brushing the hair there. âYeah?â
You move towards his body, eyes fixated on every hair strand. Then, close enough, you state the obvious, âYou cut your hair.â
âI⌠yeah. Is it terrible?â he asks, round eyes meeting yours. He raises his hand again, to his ear this time, scratching behind it for a second. âNot used to it at all. But I figured Iâd look a little more serious as an artist like this.â
Really? Most artists you knew cared the least about a fancy appearance.
Then again, Jungkook doesnât look fancy. He just looks different. Breathtaking, more mature, older.
His cheekbones look more chiselled now, his eyes wider. You could pass out right here, right now, and he still wouldnât know how relentlessly he affects you.
âMore serious?â you ask, less because you need an explanation. More because your mind keeps wandering, and you canât fathom a word heâs saying.
âJust. Needed a change, I think,â he admits, âand wanted to adjust to a press conferenceâs typical look, too.â
âYou did this for the press conference?â
âI wanted to look put together.â
Your heart dissolves and dissipates. His voice is soft as a petal, tender like the colours on his arm. The expression he sports is unsure, like he wants to hide â waiting for your opinion.
He really put thought into this. Woke up this morning and set a goal with purpose, not uttering a word to you to surprise you a couple hours later.
You donât know what to say. You barely know what to feel, except this unbearable urge to ramble down every piece of tiny emotion heâs ever made you feel.
You want his body wrapped around you, engulfed in a blanket, head on his chest and slumbering for the rest of your life. Want to mumble little confessions, shiver when his lips touch your scalp.
Overwhelmed â thatâs what you are.
âI loved the long hair,â you finally admit, âI guess I got too used to it, so I need to adjust, but. But⌠this is so⌠It⌠it suits you.â
Youâre stumbling over your words, suggesting doubt. Not the way to go. Perhaps they shouldnât have chosen you as one of the press conference speakers after all.Â
Jungkookâs concern grows visible in his big, round pupils; expressive, a true glimpse into his heart. You feel bad because youâre not as good with words as he is, and because he seemed so happy about his choice.
You just canât fucking express yourself â even though youâre melting inside, falling harder. And maybe he notices your awkwardness, because he tries again.
âYouâre uhâ sure you donât hate it?â
âNo! God, no. Itâs different. You look amazing, Kook. You look likeâŚâ
He swallows. âLike what?â
âYouâre so pretty, Jeon Jungkook.â You say it with genuinity this time. He closes his lips, blinking, and while he attempts to veil his relief, you still see the high rise of his chest. âYou look fucking gorgeous, no matter what you do. I⌠I mean it.â
The answer satisfies him. His risen shoulders drop a little, tension falling off, and he fixes the already perfectly sitting collar of his jacket before he smiles. Just a little, a subtle twitch of the corners of his lips.
As soft as his response, âI always aim to reach your level, you know?â
You roll your eyes. Partly to keep them from watering because your heart is bursting. Splintering like every morning and every night; you wonder if youâll ever get used to it.
A couple gentle words lie heavy on your tongue, pressing against the muscle to let them out; but at the prospect of actually uttering them, your guts twist. You donât want to throw up before the meeting.
So you remove the tightness from your chest with a deep exhale, nearly until your lungs are dry, and say, âShut up.â
Playfully, you deliver a soft push against his chest, laughing when his dramatic ass stumbles backwards. Submerged in those goddamn dimples, you immediately grab the hem of his jacket and before you know it, youâve taken a step forward and landed in his arms.
You sneak your arms underneath the leather-ish material, not hesitating for a second before youâre squeezing his torso. He lets out a choked sound, groaning, but reacts similarly fast as you.
His heartbeat accelerates for a moment, right against your ear as you make yourself small. The sweater smells like his favourite detergent and him; musky, fresh. Your palms, flat against his back, crave deeper touch.
Nothing crude; just an afternoon on the bed behind you, limbs entwined, laughing about things that probably arenât that funny anyway.
For a moment, the silence transcends words. You inject the blend of gratitude and affection through your touch, ensuring he understands.
But when itâs not a testament to your emotions enough, you speak against his chest, voice very likely muffled, âYou didnât have to do this for me⌠you just. You never have to do anything for me, but you still do.â
âIâll do anything for you.â
Immediate and sincere. Voice unwavering.
God, youâre not his strongest soldier.
A smile tugs at your lips, and you chide, "Stop that."
"What?"
"If you keep saying these things," you continue, a frisky lilt in your voice, "I'll die. Do you want me to die?"
Jungkook chuckles. Always a soothing melody in a hushed room. He remarks, grip still wrapped around you securely, "Acting all innocent now."
You donât understand right away what he means â but then you hear his heartbeat, picking up on pace again.
Makes you want to squash him harder. Melt into him further.
âShut up, Jeon,â you respond with a nudge, cheek pressed against his shirt. Just a moment longer â just a couple more seconds to inhale the solacing scent.
Your heart is unguarded; he could sever it if he wanted to. Heâs proven that he has the power to. Yet, you keep fuelling it, vulnerable in his warmth as you say, âYouâve no clue what you mean to me, Kookie.â
Your vivid imagination might be forcing things upon your mind that arenât actually there, but you do think you perceive the way his entire body melts. Nearly limp, in a state so relaxed and peaceful that you have only experienced in the mornings before.
Waking him up for work, feeling weightless limbs wrapped around you, passed out.
His fingers trace patterns on your back lightly, stirring from bottom to top and back. They first stop at the small of your back, then lift off your body, hands suddenly on your shoulders.
He pushes you off him, your movements reluctant, and looks at you with profound sincerity. His voice matches his expression, gentle and adoring, âWill you tell me how much I mean to you?â
Amidst the delicate minutes you spend standing between the bedroom and the living room, you almost forget that thereâs a world outside. Itâs a little more grey than before, similar to the suit youâll be wearing in a couple hours.
You remember the prospect of an audience, the answers youâve prepared, to questions they probably will ask. Zara told you they wouldnât hold back â theyâd phrase their inquiries friendly, but still keep the intentions devilish.
Right.
The world is still turning out there. You want it to stop for the two of you â frozen moments. But it canât, at least not yet. Right now itâs too real; and you guess that the worst part is that in your line of business, it will keep revolving around people like you.
Whether you want it or not.
So maybe, if it truly needs to keep spinning and canât halt for you, keeping you in the centre, you should give it something to talk about, too.
Something crisp, something new. Without a care for it, but all the care for you and the man in front of you.
Which is why you spare him another fond smile, forehead calm and your demeanour confident â and tell him, âIâll do my best to let you know."
The audience stretches to the far back. All the rows are filled to the brim with reporters or guests. The shutter of the cameras and the flashing lights are agitating.
You look down.
Nervously tapping your feet on the stage, you shrink into yourself inch by inch. Your seat is uncomfortable, though padded, a little too warm against your ass right now. Zara notices your tick and puts a steady hand to your knee, repeating for the millionth time today, âStop. Itâll be okay.â
âItâs just dawning on me though, Zara.â
âWhat is?â
You nod faintly towards the mic and the attendees, tell her, âThat I was actually chosen to speak. They shouldnât have chosen me.â
âYou asked for it.â
âYeah, but there are more important things to discuss.â
Zaraâs lips form a circle; she shakes and lowers her head, sending out a beam of air that you feel on your wrist, blazer sleeves rolled up. Youâve been like that all evening.
âYou can do it,â she repeats patiently, âyouâre the bossâ daughter and they want your opinion. Youâll hit them hard with yours.â
You suck in a breath, leave the air in your cheeks, and then puff it out again. âI want to. I hope to, I justâ never thought itâd be this nerve-wracking. Donât wanna say anything wrong.â
The subtle shake of her head continues â or reemerges â, lips in a thin line, eyes slowly blinking, âMh-mh. We talked about it, okay? Practised all the questions they could ask. Youâll be good.â
âYou gotta promise.â
âAs much as I can, babe, itâs up to yââ She takes in your falling face, holding back with a sigh when she sees the dread in your pupils. âI promise. Of course.â
She taps your knee, softly and lightly, and then says, âIâm so curious about everyoneâs reactions. Like. Gosh, just look at those people.â
You understand what she means. âI know.â
Zara places a manicured thumb on her matte red lips, mumbling, âHere for entertainment. At least a third of them will add their own fantasies to the articles theyâll write. Hypotheses and manipulative, neutrally phrased thoughts. Cockroaches.â
Funny. Thatâs what you call them, too. A collective understanding, you see.
But.
âShhh,â you voice, âtheyââ
âItâs fine. They know it, too. Like lawyers do.â
Canât refute. Eun told you one too many times how unfair the law business usually is, and how sheâll strive to not have anyone ever manipulate her. To remain genuine.
âYeah, but,â you still argue, âI imagined theyâd be listening in all the time. Donât they do lip reading and stuff?â
She nods, a finger still on her mouth, smiling, âMhm. I also feel like I could say whatever, but itâll be you theyâll focus on today.â
Your heart drops, an uncomfortable twist in your guts adding to the stress. Might have to dash to the bathroom at the very last minute. You curse, âShit, Zara⌠I should fucking ruââ
âStay. You can do this. I promise.â
âOkay,â you take another deep breath, helping your oxygen-lacking, spinning head, âokay.â
You look back to the media present, ready to survive questions; prepared to provide answers. The moderator is talking to your mother at the front, covering the mic with a hand.
They gave you around five minutes to speak, and in that time, you need to answer everything. How you do it is up to you, but the pressure to perform in a certain way, accordingly, weighs heavily on you.
But itâs alright.
Youâll just need to stay confident. Stick to your message. Theyâll have things to say anyway â and youâll make the best of them.
You stare past the lights, squinting to find him, raking your neck. His figure towers in the back, easy to detect, and once he meets your eyes â or perhaps never having averted his from you â he lifts a hand to wave in tiny motions.
Then, he drops his fingers again, entwining them in front of his body. He isnât necessarily allowed here, but you were able to sneak him through in advance. So now heâs a couple feet from the wall, choosing to stand rather than sit, so you find him easily.
So you seek his eyes for comfort if need be.
Before you parted near the entrance, he said, âIâll be offering a dozen thumbs up like a fool if you need me to.â
You chuckled â but maybe he meant it. Because his smile and nod undoubtedly dispel your fears; as if he can see you struggling.
The seconds drag on, and the conference begins seven minutes later. Your mother is the first to talk, outlining a general overview of whatâs to come. Of Charmanteâs philosophies, of its success, praising the team.
Then, she forwards to important employees like Zara, letting them ramble about launches or ideas in depth. Business strategies, partnerships, bringing across points that you usually donât get the chance to share.
This is legit press; even though out for a loophole, they wonât follow you around or hide in the shadows. Incessant and vexing, but at least theyâre allowed here.
Conversations about new collections, store openings as well as expansions and customer engagement pass in a trice, and at some point, another coworker is uttering last words to a last question.
And you realise â that youâre next.
The moderator introduces you with pride; everyone applauds, smiling at you fondly despite all the controversies. âControversies.â Under quote marks, as Zara pointed out, because you never committed an offence.
You stand on weak knees. Trembling when you grip the podium. Itâs like the sound in the room fades, a single peeping tone overshadowing all noise. You barely blink anymore; not even the flashy white can shut your eyes.
And god, you can hear your breathing. Your damn heart. Your nose sucks in all the air available in the room, or at least in the building, and then you open your mouth to speak.
a/n: this is not a cliffhanger!! tumblr just doesn't allow to drop looong posts anymore, so here's the rest of the chapter lol, keep reading and enjoying, i love you and will see you on the other side!! and don't forget to support this chapter, folks 𼺠<3
#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#bts smut#bts fluff#jeongguk smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts x reader#bts x you#bts imagines#bts fics#jungkook scenario#jeon jungkook smut#thebtswritersclub#jungkook fic#jungkook imagines#bts angst#jungkook angst#jungkook
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bright as the morning, soft as the rain
sebastian (stardew valley) x reader
⧠tags : gender neutral reader, canon divergence, a lot of author liberties, alcohol, fluffy, pre-relationship, mildly suggestive but sooo mildly lol.
⧠wc : 3.4k (this is ridiculous lol)
⧠a/n : the thing to get me out of my writing slump being sdv fanfiction is hilarious.
hi! this is the first part to a silly little alternative first kiss series i have planned for the stardew romanceable characters. i think the other ones will be shorter (hopefully but lol).
i will link the rest of them as they get posted. i hope u like. rbs appreciated. also tagging @antique-remains (hi this is fang on my side blog lol)
⧠synopsis : sebastian wants to do anything but think of you. he's failing miserably on that front. sam and abigail are not helping.
.đĽ Ý ËËâ˝Ë・â
âEarth to Sebastian,â Sam snaps his fingers in front of Sebastianâs face. Sebastian jumps in his skin. âWhatâs with you today? If youâre not gonna take our pool playing tradition seriously, Iâm not playing.â Â
He swipes a hand over his face, cursing under his breath. Half-empty Joja-Cola can sits directly besides his pool stick, the faint air of smoke and liquor in the air. Right. Heâs here to play pool. Â
 He pinches the bridge of his nose with exasperation, shaking off the feeling before scratching the back of his neck. Â
âNo, sorry. I wanna play, justâŚgive me a sec.â Â
âGot something on your mind Seb?â Abigail prods, unfortunately intuitive. Sebastian scowls at her. She stands to her feet to get closer, sitting on the edge of the pool table with her cheek turned just enough to look at him. Her smile is coy. âA certain someone, maybe?â Â
His scowl deepens, lip curled in distaste. âNo. Move. Youâre in my way.â Â
âYouâre a bad liar.â Abigail says with a resigned sigh, arms crossed. âYou werenât this spacey last time you dated someone. â Â
âFuck off,â Sebastian sighs. âItâs not like that yet.â Â
Abigail grins before Sebastian can correct the slip up. âYet. Yet, he says.âÂ
Sebastian feels himself blush. âUgh.âÂ
He sighs as he stands back up, leaning against his pool stick. Sam stops whatever he was doing (messing with the pool table deliberately, Sebastian assumes), taking newfound interest in the conversation. Â
âOh, you two talking about our new neighbor?âÂ
âNot really new. Itâs been like⌠what a year or two almost?â Abigail adds. Sam shrugs. Â
âThatâs true. But it feels new to me anyway.â Sam says. He gives up on pool it seems like, abandoning his stick on the table in favor of navigating to the box pizza balancing on another table nearby and his drink. Sebastian watches him shimmy a slice of the pie, not bothering to blow on it as he eats. âOh is that why your heads in the clouds? Figures.â Â
âI didnât say that. Abigail said that.â Â
âAnd youâre saying sheâs wrong?â Â
Sebastian huffs. ââŚYes.â Â
Sam laughs good-naturedly. âPfft. Uh-huh, yeah. I super believe you.â Â
âFuck you both.âÂ
âCome on, Seb. Itâs not like everyone in town doesnât know.â Â
Sebastianâs frown deepens. âNot everyone.â Â
Sam seats himself on the couch again and Abigail joins him. It creaks under the weight of them as they get comfortable together. Sebastian stays where he is, sitting on the tables edge with a drink in his hand and an itch for a cigarette. Â
Sam counts on his fingers. âYour mom knows. My mom knows. Abbyâs mom knows. If they all know then our dads definitely also know. Who else does that leave? Our towns tiny dude. Like Iâd say Elliot doesnât, but heâs here on Fridayâs and he catches up with gossip all the time. So basically everyone.â Â
ââŚShit.â Â
âSee? Told you.â Â
Sebastian doesnât need everyone to know whatâs going on between you. He doesnât even know whatâs going on between you. Itâs taken him longer than he cares to admit to even acknowledge that there was something there. And he didnât know it was mutual until recently when Abigail came dropped by to tell him she overheard her dad explaining old Pelican Town traditions on dating and romance.Â
(Abigail always describes things in excruciating detail, adding all the bells and whistles. This makes her great to play the Solarion Chronicles with. Â
It also makes her good at artfully recounting interactions. He can easily picture you the way she said she saw you, overalls half unbuttoned, dirt covered and leaning over the counter just slightly giving Pierre your rapt attention.  Â
The thought of it is enough to trigger some sense of affection heâs never entirely felt before.)Â Â
Itâs not like Sebastian is against the idea of dating you, itâs justâÂ
âI think you should go out with them Seb. I like âem a lot more than your exes.â Â
Sebastian sighs. âYou guys know why Iâm on the fence.â Â
Sam shrugs. âDoes they even count though? Theyâre not actually from here. They live here sure but they didnât grow up here.â Â
âRight? Thatâs what I think too. Might as well go for it.â Abigail shrugs, glancing at Sebastian. âI really donât get why youâre hesitating. Something else has to bugging you.â Â
âI thought that too.â Sam adds.Â
A faint blush creeps up his neck. He loves his friends and sometimes, he appreciates how well they know him. Times like this, he thinks it wouldnât kill them to be a little less perceptive. Â
Theyâre not wrong. It is something of a flimsy excuse to try not to think about you. Sebastian has always had a not dating policy about people he grew up with. He nearly dated Abigail in highschool and it was a shitshow. So heâs vowed to never do it again. Â
But thatâs not the real reason heâs been rejecting the possibility in his head. He uses it more for himself than anyone else. Itâs not like he can give them the real answer because he thinks itâs one hundred times more embarrassing. Â
How the fuck is he meant to tell them the reason he keeps hesitating to define your relationship is because he feels like he likes you too much? Â
Thatâs the real reason heâs going in circles about it. Itâs so cringe it makes him want to break out in hives but well, it is true. Sebastian likes youâlike really fucking likes youâand itâs freaking him out because he thinks itâs the first time heâs really liked anyone. Â
Dating has never been all that fun for Sebastian. It wasnât something that felt meaningful. He dated mostly in college and only one of those relationships lasted a significant amount of time. And even then the relationship was never all that genuine. They ultimately broke up because Sebastian realized they were fundamentally incompatible. As bad as it sounds, there wasnât a real sense of attachment there, not once. It was just convenient for both of them. He realized at that point he should probably just focus on himself. Â
That was about when he moved back home to the valley to live with his family in his post graduation. Â
And he had honestly expected it to be another few mundane years, akin to his early adolescence. He was so sure that he would spend it with the same restless feeling in his stomach, the same longing to be somewhere else. If he could never feel any belonging, at least he wanted to be somewhere he could blend in. He thought for sure moving back to Pelican Town was going to be nothing but dreadful and boring and existential. That he would come back and remember why he wanted to leave in the first place. Â
Until one day, someone from the city moved into the old, overgrown farm and turned the entirety of the valley upside down. Â
When you met for the first time, Sebastian honestly didnât care. Nothing goes on in Pelican Town, so he figured youâd be the main subject of gossip for a few weeks before ultimately blending into the background of his life just like everyone else. He also didnât think youâd last long living here. You were part of the corporate rat race he so detests and you didnât grow up in the valley. Itâs a hard place to get used to after living somewhere more populated. Â
Against all odds though - you did stay. And youâve integrated yourself so much with the people livingâhimself included here it kind of baffles him. He doesnât entirely remember what it was like before you came here.  Â
Sebastian couldnât have predicted in a million years that that stupid help wanted sign in front of Pierreâs store would start actually being useful. But lo and behold, at least three times a week he finds you with full pockets - jogging after whomever last posted to give them what they need. And you do that without anyone really asking you too. Â
Youâre just so⌠helpful. And social in a way he canât describe. Everyone in town has nothing but nice things to say about you. Youâve given everyone a gift on their birthday thus far. Youâre keeping the entire economy afloat with your farm right now and you regularly clear those mines out for monsters. You even paid for the bus to get repaired, too - so now itâs up and running again. Â
Youâre full of surprises. And easy to adore, himself included. Â
What surprises him most often is how easy it is for him to be around you. He doesnât turn you away even when you visit his room sharply at 9am and hover over him in bed. He doesnât get even the slightest bit upset when you have a mundane and disruptive conversation hours before he usually gets up. He keeps everything youâve ever gifted him, and he often thinks of inviting you to things he does with his friends. He smiles when he sees you running around doing some chore, frantic and covered in muck - all mess and sunlight. Â
Youâre⌠nice. Honest, hard-working, and cheerful. Kind. Sincere in wanting to know him. You should completely and utterly exhaust him given those are your main characteristics. You should be someone heâs simply fundamentally incompatible with.Â
But more than anything, youâre thoughtful. And it disarms him so utterly he feels overwhelmed by the thought. From the start, you put in a lot of effort into maintaining connections and he was no different. Itâs just impacted him so much more than he thought it would. If he lets himself think too far on it, he really wonât stop thinking about you. Â
To the point heâs been picturing what itâs like to live on the farm. Heâs in deep.Â
Despite all of your idiosyncrasies, you really seem to give a shit about things in a way that feels utterly foreign to him. This extends to anything and everything. It extends to Sebastian, and it shows in the ways you donât undermine him. Little things. You take his work seriously and apologize for disturbing him, you donât immediately take the side of his family when he talks about them despite being friends with them too, you donât interrogate him about what he is or is not comfortable with. You show up and linger in his life, and then you go off to your own thing.Â
More and more, he gets the urge to stop you before you go. Itâs too much. It makes him actâŚlame and heâs not too fond of it. Heâs never really felt this strongly about anyone before and heâs a little bit of a wreck about what it does to him. So itâs not that he doesnât want to date you, but more that he does so bad he doesnât even want to admit it. Â
 But well.. He isnât sure itâs even working. As soon as you walk into a room itâs likeâÂ
Heâs lost in his thoughts for a while, only to get pulled out of them by some big commotion happening in the main part of the saloon. Â
âAh, youâre here. What perfect timing kid,â  Â
Shit. Shit Â
Only somewhat obscured by the distance and wall separating their space from the bar - Sebastian catches a glimpse of you and feels something uncomfortably warm in his chest. His friends both make little oooh sounds, no doubt planning to do something stupid. He should intervene but he gets too caught up in pretending he doesnât see you. Turning away stiffly, he pretends to be looking at something else while he listens on your conversation. Itâs not too hard to hear, anyway. Â
âHi, Pam.â He can practically hear the smile in your voice. âHereâs your ale. Managed to grow a hops plant indoors this season so the brew is pretty fresh. Itâs strong, fair warning.â Â
A beat of muffle conversations follows up with a a loud sigh. âThatâs exactly what I needed. Your pretty good with your liquor and spirits, huh kid? Thanks for the drink. Hereâs what I owe ya.â Â
âSelling alcohol under the table at my establishment? Tsk tsk.â Gus adds. Â
Itâs at this point Sebastian lets himself look at you properly. You lean with your elbows against the counter. You look a mess like usual, but youâve got on a cowboy hat today that Sebastian finds ridiculously cute. You smile at Gus sheepishly. Â
âSorry. Can I buy myself a drink to make up for it?â You offer. Â
âIâll do you one better and give it to you on the house.â Â
âAw, what? Canât let you do that Gus.â Â
âYou can and you will. Youâre always looking out for everyone. Here, itâs a nice imported IPA. Nice and cold. Have a drink and go relax. Some of your friends are here too tonight I think.â Â
âOh?â Â
On cue, you turn your head to the group of them. When you and Sebastian meet eyes, you brighten visbly - all smiles. Heâs so caught up in it, he doesnât even catch Sam next to him until he throw an arm around his shoulder and waves you over. Â
You weave through the tables until you cross the threshold of their little hide-out. Abigail greets you first with a short sidehug before you go over to him and Sam. Â
âHey,â Â
âHi Sam.â You pause, tilting your head. âDid you cut your hair? Itâs shorter than usual.â Â
Sam beams. âI did! And youâre the first one to notice, other than my mom. Goes to show who my real friends are,â Â
Sebastian nudges him, pulling away from his grip. âI see enough of your face everyday. Thereâs nothing for me to observe.â Â
âIt looks nice,â You add. Charming and genuine. Sam smiles at you.Â
âThanks,â Â
Sebastian is weirdly jealous until you address him in conversation. âHey to you too Sebastian.â Â
His heart thumps. This is ridiculous. He swallows. âHey. Uh. How have you been?â Â
Awkward. So awkward. You smile a little and lean on the pool table besides him with your drink, taking a sip. âGood. Busy as usually getting ready for Winter. Renovated our coop recently so Iâve got a whole bunch of baby bunnies I gotta take care of. Went and bought another heater, some extra hay. Just farm stuff. Not very interesting,â Â
âI find it interesting,â He replies quickly. You lip twitches in a smile. Â
âIâm glad.â Â
âBaby bunnies sound so cute,â Abigail adds. Sebastian glances at her as she joins the rest of them. âWhat else have you got in there?â Â
âA little of everything. Chickens, ducks. Iâve got a void chicken too, kinda freaky. Oh and these little dino looking guys.â Â
Abigail looks bright eyed. âWould it be like⌠weird if I asked to go over? I kinda wanna see them?â Â
You laugh. âNot at all. I donât mind. You could honestly go over whenever but itâs hard to navigate the farm if Iâm not there, though Iâm trying to fix that this upcoming winter.â Â
You glance then at Sebastian, eyes almost sparkling. âYou should come over sometime, too. Youâd like the void chicken I think. And Iâve got a slime hutch.â Â
Sebastian sputters at the obvious invitation only barely managing to cover up the shock to his system. You donât seem put off, but itâs obvious you know what youâre doing. Heâs going to explode. Â
Abigail and Sam make not-so-subtle eye contact before Sam clears his throat. Â
âWell, uh, me and Abi are gonna head out. Weâve got some stuff to catch up on, but thereâs still a few hours until the saloon closes so you two should stay here and finish up our drinks and stuff. Uh⌠yeah. See you again,â Â
Sam nods, quickly rifling for his things. Abigail follows in his foot steps. Â
âMhm, yep. See you,â Â
Sam gives him one last encouraging look before turning around and leaving. The two of them scurry off in a blink of an eye, before Sebastian can get a single word in about the situation or tell them to stay. And now heâs alone with you, quietly wondering if itâs as awkward as it feels. Â
Youâre the one to break the ice. âDo you have anywhere you need to be tomorrow?â Â
Sebastian blinks. âUh no. Not really.â Â
âMe either. We should stay back then, for a little while.â You offer with a shrug. âWhy not, right?â Â
Right. Sebastian is being really chill about this entire interaction. âRight.â Â
âIâm glad I got to see you tonight,â You say, out of the blue. Sebastian nearly jumps in his skin at the admission. âIâve been pretty busy with the growing season ending so I havenât been you know, able to come by as often. I donât know if it made a huge difference to you butââÂ
âIt did.â He blurts out. Your mouth opens then closes again, a blush crawling up his neck as he tucks his chin in embarrassment. âIt was uh, weird for me. I know youâre busy and I like my alone time but I did⌠miss you.âÂ
âYeah?â Â
Heâs almost too afraid to meet your eyes. When he manages - youâre smiling fondly, sweetly with a sense of amusement. It rolls off of you in waves and it becomes clear to him in that split second that you donât really intend to hide how you feel despite him being so hellbent on making sure he does. Youâre not hiding that you like him. It feels stupidly warm and fuzzy. Â
You look like youâve been working all day and you smell a little like grass and rain in a way that makes him want to draw that much closer to you. So he does, leaving into your space. Â
âYeah.â He manages, barely getting the words out without being a complete wreck. âItâs new for me.â Â
âAbsence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever they say.â And then, even more sweetly. âI missed you too.â Â
Fuck. Youâre⌠fuck. Â
Sebastian pretends to wipe something from his face just to cover it and make his blush less obvious. This is embarrassing. He likes you so much and for what. Â
Thereâs a million things he wants to tell you but he canât find the words for any of them. So he tucks in on himself and wonders how the fuck he would ever go about actually dating you. Â
You inch closer to him. Tentative, until your thighs are touching. He doesnât move away. Â
Suddenly, youâre close to him than youâve ever been. Looking from the corner of your eye, Sebastian turns his head to meet your gaze. Youâre an inch apart, and heâs looking at your lips - slightly chapped from the weather. The faint scent of alcohol on your breath makes him dizzy. Your smile is what does him in ultimately. A subtle tug at the corners of your mouth, a little teeth. Something about it precious. Â
âHey,â You mutter. Â
âHm,â Â
âCan I kiss you?âÂ
He responds with leaning forward to do it first. Itâs chaste and easy, and he does it because youâve already taken so many first steps and he should, at least, take this one. So he leans into kiss you and it feels like his whole body is melting. Itâs brief and light and he pulls away before it feels like it should be over. Â
You part for a breath, a single heartbeat - before your hands go up to cradle the side of his face. You kiss him deeper that time. A real kiss where he can taste you enough to know that you drank - one he would only want to do in the privacy of this confined spaced. He feels you in your entirety - returns your gesture with a careful hand on your waist that you donât pull away from. Â
And it doesnât stop. Like neither of you want it too, despite everything else. Despite the fact heâs doing this in the bar of his hometown where everyone will gossip about it without doubt, and despite knowing that - the drive to kiss you is stronger than his usual sensibilities. So you kiss and kiss and kiss, short presses followed by long, firm ones. A slight brush of tongue, the soft nip of teeth as you tease and tug. All mirth and amusement and fondness and bravery and god he is so into you itâs ridiculous. Â
You manage to pull away from each other after a while. His lips are tingly. And thereâs a sheepishness to you both that makes it hard for him to look your way. Â
âHey, Sebastian.â Â
He clears his throat. Â
âUh. Yeah?â Â
âIâm gonna ask you out tomorrow. Properly.â Â
He blushes. ââŚIâd be cool with that.â Â
You grin. âYeah?â  Â
Shit heâs happy. He is not gonna get a lick of sleep tonight. He smiles a little to himself. Â
âYeah.â Â
.đĽ Ý ËËâ˝Ë・â
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Always The Babysitter - Chapter Thirteen: Dig Dug
Author: @harringtonstilinskiâ Characters: Steve Harrington x Olivia Henderson(OC) (eventually) Word Count: 1,406 Warnings: lil' bit of fluff, lil' bit of angst, the smallest mention of mews blood, nothing really; it's a pretty tame chapter lol, Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! This chapter is a little bit on the shorter side. Steve and Dustin isn't really in this episode a whole lot, hahaa. Remember, if you like this chapter, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy đ
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Dustin somehow was able to contain Dart last night long enough for us all to sleep and not get gutted like our poor cat. Mom was outside looking for our dead pet cat, so Dustin and I came up with a plan that we were absolutely sure would work.
âOkay, Iâm gonna pretend to call someone from Loch Nora while Mom is still outside,â Dustin said. âTap me on the shoulder when she comes back in.â âAlright,â I sighed, feeling bad for our mom. âSheâs so worried and delirious, sheâll believe anything at this point.â Looking off to the side, I crossed my arms and sighed once again, being the lookout for our dear mother. When she came inside, I quickly tapped his shoulder, letting him know it was game time.
âDusty, Livvie, youâre sure sheâs not in either one of your rooms?â Mom asked.Â
Dustin held a finger out to her before saying, âUh-huh,â as I said, âI havenât seen her since I went to school yesterday.â
She came and wrapped me in a hug as Dustin was on the phone pretending to talk to one of the neighbors. I had to put my tears to the test as I willed them to come to my waterline as Dustin continued his pretend phone conversation.
âUh-huh. Uh-huh. Thank you so much, Mr. McCorkle. Thank you so much. You are a true lifesaver. Alright, this was great. Thank you. Alright. Have a good one. Bye-bye, now. Alright. You, too.â He hung up and looked mine and Momâs way. âAlright. Great news.â âThey found her?â Mom asked, voice straining from tears.
âNo, but they saw her wandering around Loch Nora.â
âHow did the poor baby get all the way out there?â Mom cried.
âI donât know, Mama,â I said. âLost, I suppose. But theyâre gonna look for her, Iâm sure.â
âYes,â Dustin said. âAnd Liv and I will stay here just in case they call again.â
âAnd youâre gonna go help look?â I asked. âOkay? Okay?â
When Mom leaned in to give Dustin a hug, he said, âGive us hugs, give us hugs.â
Mom gave me a hug as I said, âGo get her.â Pulling away, I added, âYouâre gonna find her, alright?â
âWe can find her.â
âWe can find her,â Mom repeated.
âI love you,â Dustin and I said, both of us blowing her a kiss.
âI love you both.â
âI love you.â
âI love you.â
âMama, go,â I said.
She closed the door behind her before I looked at Dustin with a deadpan expression, voice laced with it as I said, âYouâre going straight to hell.â
âI know. Now, come on,â he said. âWe got work to do.â
I went outside with him to help him open the storm cellar, before moving back inside and grabbing old baseball gear, and some bologna, placing it on the floor in front of Dustinâs door before moving outside to the storm cellar.
As Dustin put on his old catcherâs gear, I heard my landline ringing. Quickly, I went into my room to answer it with a breathless, âHello?â âI need you to help me with something.â
âI canât right now. Iâm helping Dustin.â
âWith what?â
âIâll tell you later.â
âLivââ
âSteveââ I sighed. âI promise Iâll tell you later, okay?â
âOkay. Uhm, be safe.â
âThanks. Iâm gonna need it.â When I hung up the phone, I heard Dustin repeat, âOh, my god,â which was my new cue to run like hell out of the house and into our wooden shed, âshit, shit, shit,â on repeat out of both of our mouths.
Looking out in between the wood panels of our shed, Dustin said, âCome on, come on, I know youâre hungry.â
Dart came out of the house, following the trail of bologna I left out.
âYes,â Dustin said. âYes, yes, yes.â He repeated the word to himself, moving a couple feet over from me to look out between the panels of the door.
I was watching from where I was standing as Dart moved towards the cellar, eating the piece of bologna before turning to face us, causing Dustin and I to jump back, saying, âShit!â
We looked at each other before moving to look between the panels again, not expecting Dart to be a lot closer this time.
âFuck,â I exclaimed, turning to face Dustin. I breathed a heavy sigh, whispering to him, âGet rid of him!â
With a triumphant yell, Dustin charged out of the shed towards Dart, hitting him with the hockey stick he had in his hands. I ran after him, helping him close the cellar, Dart banging against the door once.
We both laid on the doors, Dustin on his stomach, and me on my back, our breathing heavy as he said, âIâm sorry. You ate our cat.â
~~~
A few minutes later saw us burying our cat while Dustin tried to get ahold of one of the boys before we moved inside to clean his bedroom carpet that was covered in Mewsâ blood.
âAlright, itâs Dustin, again,â he said. âSeriously, I have a Code Red.â
From his headset I could hear, âCould you please shut up?â
âErica?â my brother and I said.
âErica, is Lucas there?â he asked. âWhere is he?â
âDonât know, donât care,â Erica said.
âIs he- is he with Mike?â
âLike I said, I donât know, I donât care.â
âPlease tell him itâs super important. Please tell him that I have a Codeââ
âCode Red?â
âYep, Code Red. Exactly.â
âMmm-hmm,â she sassed. âI got a code for you instead. Itâs called code shut-your-mouth.â
âEr-Erica?â Dustin said, looking at me.
âShe turn the radio off?â I asked.
âYep.â He got up, causing me to stand and follow him.
âWhat are you doing?â
âWeâre riding to Mikeâs to look for anyone,â he said, walking out of the house and straight for his bike.
âWeâre riding to Mikeâs to look for anyone,â he said, walking out of the house and straight for his bike.
I got on my own bike, following him to Mikeâs. Once we got there, we both got off our bikes and walked to the front door, where Dustin rang the doorbell about five times before Mr. Wheeler answered the door, looking very bored.
âYour line has been busy for over two hours, Mr. Wheeler. Do you realize this?â Dustin said.
âOh, I do realize,â Mr. Wheeler replied.
âIs Mike home?â
âNo.â
âNo?â Dustin said. âWell, where the hell is he?â
âKaren, whereâs our son?â Mr. Wheeler yelled.
âWillâs!â
âWillâs,â Mr. Wheeler repeated, going to close the door.
I sighed. âNo oneâs picking up.â
âNancy,â Dustin asked. âWhat about Nancy?â
âKaren, whereâs Nancy?â
âAllieâs!â
âAllieâs,â Mr. Wheeler said. âOur children donât live here anymore. You didnât know that?â
âSeriously?â Dustin and I said.
âAm I done here?â
âSon of a bitch,â we said in unison. âYaâknow, youâre really no help at all.â We walked away, hearing Mr. Wheelerâs âLanguage!â aimed at our backs, my hand waving in the air to⌠well, wave him off.
Dustin and I walked back towards our bikes before I heard a car pull up, the all too familiar maroon BMW coming to a stop. Steve got out with a bouquet of flowers, saying to himself, âListen⌠Iâve been thinking⌠I love you. Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry? What the hell am I sorry for?â
âSteve?â I asked, confused, walking towards him.
He looked my way, stopping his walk to the Wheelerâs front door, the same confused look on his face that I was sure I was sporting staring right back at me.
âAre those for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?â Dustin asked, walking towards Steve.
The older teen looked at the flowers then back at Dustin, saying, âNo.â
My brother took the flowers from him, and handed them to me, saying, âGood,â before walking towards the car.
I just stood there with Steve as he said, âHey, what the hell? Hey!â
âNancyâs not home,â I said, holding the flowers down at my side.
âWhere is she?â he asked.
âDoesnât matter,â Dustin said. âWe have bigger problems than your love life. You still got that bat?â
âBat? What bat?â
âThe one with the nails,â I said, shaking the flowers a little.
âYeah, why?â Steve asked.
âIâll explain it on the way,â Dustin and I said, my brother getting in the front seat.
âNow?â Steve said, grabbing my hand on the way to his car.
âBackseat,â I said to Dustin, pointing to it.
Dustin stayed in the front, so I sighed, saying, âWhy am I always stuck in the backseat?â
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~
A/N 2:Â Â hi, friends! what do we think about hop trying to keep liv's language in check? please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox.
Additional Note:Â
~~~
Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24ââ @stixnstripesworldâ @fandom-princess-forevermoreâââ @quanticobaeâââ @mischiefandiâââ @kellyashcroft @lauren-novakââââ
Steve Harrington Taglist:Â @madaboutjoe
If youâre tagged and didnât want to be, please let me know.
~~~
*Please donât post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @harringtonstilinskiâ.
All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of The Duffer Brothers.
*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.
No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
Posted on January 30, 2024
#steve harrington x olivia henderson#steve x olivia#steve harrington x oc#steve x oc#steve harrington#olivia henderson (oc)#stevia#always the babysitter#atb#dustin henderson#lucas sinclair#will byers#mike wheeler#max mayfield#erica sinclair#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#joyce byers#chief jim hopper#eleven hopper#season two episode five#original character#home slice olivia was all me#stranger things imagine#stranger things fandom#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fanfic#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fanfic
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~League of villains members as things I said/done/whatever~
Y'all will think I'm messed up but oh well
Tomura: "yawned whole time and ate chips in front of psychologist while sitting next to best friend that was low key nervous and anxious (I was with best friend for support @wholelottawidows thas you dawg đ), offered psychologist chips and later when I ate whole bag, I licked my fingers in front of both of them and picked my ear when psychologist wasn't watching."
+
"Drank like 3-4 mugs of coffee and monster energy drink in one day but still fell asleep anyway"
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"What's the point of all these hard work if we will all die either way, sooner or later?"
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"When having breakdown, I remember something funny and stupid which makes me burst into laughter and forget what I was crying so violently about"
Dabi: "I'll start working out this summer, just to be able to fist fight and beat up our dads one day"
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"chased sibling with knife around house it was a joke just to scare him don't worry no one got hurt lol"
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"Life is short make it shorter"
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"Made my younger step sibling hit step father in the head few times with something"
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"Damn this headache fucking me in brain really hard now"
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"It is what it is (I would say that after I fucked up something đ)"
Toga: "Slept with knife under my pillow few times"
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"have one stabbed pillow on bed which is covered with old t shirt"
+
"when I was a child I used to bring dead hedgehogs and mouses to my mother saying: Look at this poor kitty mom, let's help it!!! While the fucking animals were flattened like pancake and were literally full of ants and flies"
+
"Tried to snatch a street kitten once but failed and gave up"
Spinner: "Tried to eat cigarettes and rocks I found on ground as kid"
+
"I know I'm atheist and don't believe in that shit, but you hoes need Jesus"
+
"one time i ran through a swarm of tiny flies and my mouth was opened since I was gasping for air because of running and some of these tinyass flies got into my mouth accidentally I could feel them in my throat and gave up from trying to spit damn bug out so I swallowed it đ"
+
"Who needs bitches when you have perfect sandwich"
Twice: "-Why is your nails painted pink? I mean you are mostly dressed in black it's surprising.
- Because I'm fucking fabulous"
+
"Smoked one or two times my whole pack of cigarettes and than my best friend's whole pack of cigarettes in one day (dw she gave me it I didn't just stole it and smoked it without her permission and I'm not heavy smoker now đđđ)"
+
"Feels confident and looks at mirror whole time thinking how good I look, than after 30 minutes look at myself in mirror and either cry or laugh saying how dumb I look"
+
"accidentally choked on my own spit few times"
+
"Tried to help my best friend to get up one time because she fell but right when I got closer to her I tripped and fell as well"
Magne: "cold & badass women are daddies and cold & badass men are babygirls and pretty princesses"
+
"Bullies my siblings but when someone else does it I go protective mode like: "I'm the only one that can bully this dumbasses"
Mr Compress and Kurogiri:
"I can't stand you bitches so I'm cutting my legs off"
+
"Smacks siblings hand/head when they touch something they're not supposed to or something that's dangerous for them"
+
"one time while I was making coffee, my younger brother came to me to bother me and annoy me out of boredom, so I told him to go away. He did go away but not really far away, he stood at one line of kitchen floor half of meter away from me, I saw what was he trying to do he was trying to provoke me so I was like: If you want to provoke me at least do it fucking right you idiot
And I grabbed him and pulled him with me as I stepped on the actual ending line of kitchen floor and left him there as I went back to making coffee for myself"
~We gotta go baba now ~
I apologize to all people that I told earlier I'm going to sleep, sorry y'all but this idea farted up on my mind and I had to write it immediately so that I don't forget it đđđ
Got a lil distracted đđđđ
(I hope people won't unfollow me bc of thisđđđ)
#shigaraki#tomura#league of villains#shigaraki x reader#tomura headcanons#tomura fluff#shigaraki fic#tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura#dabi headcanons#dabi#dabi x reader#dabi todoroki#dabi touya#todoroki touya#touya todoroki headcanons#touya fic#touya x reader#toga himiko#mha toga#toga x reader#himiko toga#toga headcanons#bnha spinner#spinner#spinner x reader#spinner mha#twice mha#mr compress#kurogiri
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10:11 pm
Hey Ty, itâs been a bit! So weâre going to try and do a FIVE YEAR update. Which is kind of insane, but Iâm 27 now - that is so many more years than I thought Iâd be alive. Weâre going to be 30 in three years. Holy shit.Â
Chronologically speaking, the updates are thus:Â
-Gem and I dated for a year. It was my first relationship, and it was both the most amazing thing I felt at the time, and all kinds of awful. Mags and I remained friends somehow, but I left that part of the friend group and started only hanging out with Gem, Josh, and Curse. Eventually we started a group chat that was just us, and Rhys, and Brendon. I think it was called Therapy Gang Gang? The point of it was that none of us but Rhys was in therapy and we all needed it. That being said, in the year or two that that group chat was a thing, I donât think any of us in there got therapy. Lol.
-The short of it is that Gem - who transitioned after our relationship, she/her, goes by Sapphire, I gave her the nickname Gem and everyone always uses the nicknames I give lol - was someone who we would have an argument, they would promise to change, and then in a month or two they would go back to doing whatever it was with no memory of the prior conversation. They never made me a priority. They never seemed to care. When I paid for them to visit me, I paid for the hotel we stayed at and all, planned things for us to do, got off work, all that. But I knew from the moment I saw her step off the plane that I wasnât actually into her. Because I almost left her there. I saw her, and I recognized that she was shorter than she said she was and that she looked almost completely different in person, and I didnât like how she looked. But, I was sure that it would get better. It didnât. She brought $500 cash from her father to use and didnât use any of it except at the Franklin Institute, where she made a big deal about me asking for $5 chicken fingers instead of a $3 hot dog - with $500 in her pocket. She never bought me gifts, she never actually seemed to think of me as anything other than a person that was there to give her attention. Which sucked.
-During that is when Josh admitted to having feelings for me. He was 18 then, and Iâd never thought about him that way because he was a baby. He asked me if I was happy in my relationship, and I broke down on call with him and ended up breaking up with Gem later that week. Our friendgroup stayed relatively together, but I social distanced from Gem. They had a new favorite player anyway by then - Rhys - and within a month of me breaking up with them, Rhys was dating them. They lied about it at first, with Rhys announcing on tumblr that they had a new girlfriend, and then when I asked for details they were cagey about it. After I think a day or two I just flat out asked if it was Gem, and they said that it was. I felt so absolutely betrayed. I was devastated.Â
-There are a lot of things that were going on then. Like, for example, at that point Rhys was living with me, they were sleeping on my bedroom floor on an air mattress. They brought roaches into my apartment. They drowned their hermit crab while they were here. They were in an abusive situation and I got them out of it, but living with them was the absolute worst. Eventually, Josh moved up here and for a small while me and him and Rhys were all in the same bedroom, then Rhys got a place in Norristown for a bit. Now they live with Kit, from Eastern. Theyâve got a few books out and writes for podcasts now. I donât talk to them, have them blocked on twitter and tumblr, and have essentially went no contact. There was a lot of emotional labor I did for Rhys over the years, and I donât regret any of it, I just canât do it anymore.
-There was a friends with benefits named Ben. Did I write about Ben here? The timing of it all is kind of wild to me. I dunno man.Â
-In the middle of the night, mom and I left dad. We took all our stuff and just left while he was working and moved to a new apartment almost an hour from Royersford. Weâd had bedbugs and the whole deal was unlivable, but I moved. Stayed in classes and did guard that whole time. Iâm STILL doing Light Brigade, actually. Iâve done it every year since I joined. Rookie of the Year! -The new apartment is how Rhys and Josh lived with us, but it was originally just me and mom and Aereal. Thereâs a lot of ups and downs to living here, but itâs better than dadâs old place. Heâs moved since.Â
-Adjusting to a safe environment for the first time was hell. I mean it. There were a lot of mental breakdowns. It would have done me very well to remember that you were here, Ty, but I didnât. I suffered through it. Thereâs a metaphor about a fire behind a closed door, that being somewhere safe is like opening that door and letting in the oxygen, and that all the things you kept behind that door rush out and burn everything. It was a lot like that.Â
-I donât really remember anything for the first few months after moving in except that I was getting up and going to classes, going to guard, doing the things I did back then. I had always fought my ideation with busy work - thatâs why I joined Color Guard in high school. I had a day where I thought about the bath tub for too long, and I knew that soon enough the emptiness of doing nothing would be what I succumbed to and that my passive suicidal tendencies wouldnât be so passive anymore. So I filled my scheduled with band and kept filling it - I worked at A.C. Moore (transferred to the one down here when we moved), I took three or four classes, I did Light Brigade on the weekends, I did theater production on some weekends, and then to spend time with friends when I got home late, I would hop onto a discord call for a dnd session and then pass out. It was so so much. I donât fill my schedule like that anymore. Thanks, pandemic.
-My first priority when Josh was here and had moved in (it was momâs idea of all things, Josh moving in. I would NEVER be like âIâve been dating this guy a month, letâs move him in!â) was to get therapy. And I did. Iâve had therapy consistently since around my birthday that year. Whatever year that was. I remember cause my intake appointment was during Gemâs second visit here, where she and Rhys made me and Josh feel absolutely awful while hanging out at the mall, and Gem messaged me about how they had cum almost instantly and didnât satisfy Rhys at all. I was a good friend then - I didnât say âwhat like itâs hardâ? As someone who has slept with Rhys adfjlaksdhf - and I had bought Gem a stuffed animal as a gift of friendship for while they were visiting. They handed the stuffed animal to Rhys right in front of me in the living room. I donât talk to Gem anymore.Â
-Mags and I are still friends. Itâs rough sometimes, but we still do Wednesdays. Every Wednesday we watch something together. If nothing else, it is proof to me that relationships are work and that if you put in the time, the relationship CAN work. If you want to.Â
-I eventually joined a server with my best friend in it. Her name is Kitty, and she is currently Curseâs wife. I decided that I wanted to be Kittyâs best friend, and so I am. I know everything about the characters she lets me interact with, I love her deeply, and I canât wait to live with her.Â
-Our gameplan for our future is called The Secret Base. Itâs a house where me, Josh, Aza, and Kitty live. And Curse. If he can prove that he can be responsible. I donât know if he will or not. For Kittyâs sake, I hope he does.
-I was never really close friends to Curse, or Korre as they used to go by, but according to him I was one of his best friends. This confused the shit out of me, but itâs far from the first time that someone has told me they thought we were closer than I thought we were. Relationships are kind of fucky. But, as I got closer to Kitty, I started to like him less and less. He did a lot of things that made me angry - heâs brushed Kittyâs hair with the carpet brush even though she is a germaphobe, heâs told her that he hates her parents more than he loves her, and just⌠so many things that were disregarding her comfort and undermining even as he swore he was doing everything FOR her. And then, at the end of last year, a bit before Christmas, he was fired for stealing a gift card. Rather than fuss up about it, he didnât tell anyone, and continued to drive down the mountain like he was going to work. He bought himself a year of Playstation Plus knowing that they wouldnât have any money for groceries or rent. Luckily, because they live with Kittyâs parents, they werenât immediately homeless. But in any other situation they would have been, and that is why I canât live with Curse unless he proves himself. Inviting in someone who has done that and expecting them to hold up their end of the bills would be stupidity, and Iâm not going to risk my home, or the homes of my friends.Â
-We came up with the solution that Curse is going to move up here when Kitty does. Kitty will be moving in with me and Josh, and Curse will be moving up here with Aza. If Curse can manage his finances for a full year - which is just the length of a lease - by himself, then he proves that he can be responsible. If he canât, and he fucks it up, then Aza has the safety net of moving in with us, and Curse is just S.O.L. I worry about how that would effect Kitty, but I will simply plan as though he will be successful. Since we were told what Curse did, I have been doing my best to be no contact with him as well. I donât respond to his messages in degeneral - which is the general chat of our discord - I donât talk to him when I can hear him in vc, and I hadnât responded to the two messages he made since letting me know that I have no obligation to forgive him and that he is trying to be better. However, I canât really go no contact with someone who lives with Kitty. Sheâs my best friend, and Curse can just walk into the room with her and start talking. It jumpscares me every time he does. I realize that I would not and do not feel safe with him around, even if itâs just in vc, but I am willing to work on it if he can prove that he wonât get us all evicted. I donât know how itâll pan out, but I am hopeful, and just have to trust that the universe will rearrange in order to do what needs to be done, whatever that ends up meaning.Â
-I will add a note here that Kitty says that Curse has been getting better. He is in therapy and on three different meds. He seems better. But seeming better isnât enough for me. He has to BE better. It might be a rather irrational line in the sand, but itâs my line, and itâs staying there.
-Josh and I are together still, and itâs been three years. Weâre a team, though sometimes itâs rough. Kitty and I often mention that we allow our S/Os to do things that we would be furious with if the otherâs S/O does it. Josh was finally able to get medicated and heâs in therapy, and Iâm still in therapy too. Heâs been improving a lot since starting his meds, and I can tell that heâs happier. Throughout these last years, Josh has been a lifeboat. He moved in just before the pandemic and then was stuck here with me regardless. He and I have worked on things through our relationship and made compromises to keep it strong. There are days where I donât quite know what Iâm feeling, whether or not my attraction is romantic or platonic, and whether or not anything is wrong with that. Iâm going to talk to Josh about it when I come to more of a conclusion. Weâre both poly as well, which is just to say weâve had a few conversations about who we would be okay with being in our polycule, and who we wouldnât be. I love Kitty bunches, for example, but I canât be in a polycule with Curse. Neither can Josh. So thatâs that I guess.Â
-Kitty and Aza came and stayed for a week for my birthday this year, and it went amazingly. They saw me perform my last show of the season in Wildwood, I drove us home, and we relaxed and hung out together. It really did just show that living together would work. Kitty and I slept next to each other and it was really nice. I sleep in a bed tent now, and she and I did it like the amish - no touching askdhjlfakjdshf. We were also supposed to cuddle up, but never ended up doing so despite talking about it three times. It made me think about how we make fun of our characters sometimes, because it was like two bottoms - no one made a move. I think thatâs really funny, actually, but there will be plenty of time to cuddle in the future. We only have the rest of our lives.
-I have realized that when it comes to physical affection, Iâm kind of like a minecraft cat. If someone tries to touch me, I instinctively move away from them or kind of dodge or get jumpscared. But if they donât, I will eventually move over and start giving them affection. The trip with Aza and Kitty here was amazing. I had faith that it would go well, and it really really did. We went rollerskating, went to the art museum, did an escape room, saw the D&D movie, went for a walk, ate at a diner, and also just chilled in the living room and watched movies. It was a great week. I am extremely blessed to have the friends I have.Â
-Kitty is plus sized, and she has long brown hair and really pretty eyes. Her voice is soft and musical, and though she is very anxious, she is also extremely assertive once she knows what she wants - or more accurately, knows what someone she cares about wants and knows she can get it for them. She is funny, and she has made an amazing world and cast of characters for a manga she plans on writing. She is also probably the kindest, most thoughtful person I know, and it is a crime that the people around her donât tell her how amazing she is every day. Despite her kindness, though, she does have a mean streak, a love of a german word I cannot spell or say that starts with Sch- a delight in seeing the minor misfortunes of others, once that other has wronged someone (as long as the someone isnât her, I guess). We roleplay every day in a server I made for me and Josh ages ago called the Secret Server, where we do text rp just like I used to do on HR. Kitty was also someone who RPed through the worst years of her life, just like me, and so we can basically rp through anything. She is wonderful and beautiful, and I am so so lucky that I was able to meet her and spend time with her and become her best friend. There were a lot of chances to not meet her - if I hadnât joined Chrisâs art stream back in 2015, if I hadnât been attempting to watch Critical Role and ended up talking about wanting to try D&D, if I hadnât met Gem and Josh and Curse and Al in that server, if the friendgroup hadnât completely imploded, if I hadnât dated Gem and then broke up with her, if I hadnât agreed to join Curseâs wifeâs campaign⌠there are so many things that had to go the way they did to get me where I am. And they did. Things went both right and terribly wrong in ways that taught me lessons, and I ended up the luckiest person in the world with the best best friend a person could ask for. I think about how happy I am just to be able to sit in vc with her almost every day. When she was here, I actually felt like I had in highschool around Carlee - an awareness of her even when I wasnât looking at her, knowing what makes her anxious and trying to subvert it, knowing what makes her laugh and trying to do more of it, being nervous standing next to her if I didnât know what to do, being nervous even when I did. The happiness paired with buzzy butterflies when I held her hand at the airport, the way everything seemed better when she smiled, bro what can I say? Even the absolutely mortifying fact that I asked her to hand me my phone three separate times from the instinct to check in on her - her who was ALREADY RIGHT NEXT TO ME, her who was HANDING ME MY PHONE - was funny when she grinned about it. I feel so happy hearing about her hyperfocuses - she knows so much about buying things from japan, sheâs a collector, her favorite anime is FMA, her favorite color is green, her favorite sandwich is tuna from subway with american cheese, âa g stringâ of lettuce, olives, âa good bitâ of pickles, âa good bitâ of onions, and mayo, after letting it sit in the fridge overnight to get soggy. She loves sour candy and pickles and prefers sour and bitter to sweet. Everything she creates is just fantastic, from art to characters to worlds. My brain is full to bursting on facts about Veroica and Veronicaâs worlds and characters, and I just want more information. I remember this feeling, and I remember what it means.Â
-Anyway time to mention the autism. I have autism. Idk if itâs EXTREMELY CLEAR from my journaling or anything, Ty, but I am super autistic. The first time I thought about it was after a tryptophobic meltdown I had at age 6, back on Whitaker Ave, the haunted house. I shrugged it off and kept it pushing and it makes so many things in my life make sense now. I took the Radz-R, which is one of the diagnostic tests. I scored a 147. This is the same thing that Edman - who used to be Jiah - scored, and got formally diagnosed. Aza scored the same, and Kitty scored ten less. Josh also scored pretty high on it, as did Miranda. Did you know that 80% of autistic people who are AFAB are undiagnosed? Sure feels that way. The rise of tiktok and twitter for adhd / autism communities is really great, even if people are being weirdos about it. If tumblr taught me anything itâs how to curate my online experience. Blocking is free. Shinigami Eyes is also free, which makes it easier to block people. I simply would not engage.Â
-I also make art now!!! At the beginning of the pandemic I bought myself an ipad and apple pencil with my stimulus check, and it was one of the greatest things I could do for myself. I did it to make sure that I had something self indulgent, something to do just for me, and after a brief attempt at commissions I decided to keep art that way. I draw what I want to draw when I want to do it, and it makes me so happy to see the improvement Iâve made after drawing so often for a few years now. I started in 2020 and itâs 2023. Time sure ainât real.Â
-As far as sexuality, I think Iâm ace or demisexual, but I know Iâm hypersexual with high libido. I am just this way. Iâm also a switch, but only because Iâm lazy and bossing people around is bothersome. Shikamaru style. So I just tell Josh to top and he does. Because heâs a bottom. LmaooooÂ
-Romatically I wonder if Iâm aromantic sometimes, but it comes and goes. I think what it is is that the things that are supposed to mean romantic attraction do not really mean anything to me. But! That could just be the autism. I have always been someone who could see myself living the rest of my life with whomever my closest friends were at the time. Supporting them, living with them, getting to see them every day⌠What is love but that?
-I donât really know what else to say. Jess and I have seen each other a few times, hung out, played some overcooked, watched some anime. Itâs always nice to see her. My sister, perfect teacher, published poet, Jessica Ram. I am so proud every time I see a tweet or tiktok (sheâs tiktok famous!!! Didja know? lol) with her in it. She also seems happier. Iâm glad - itâs what she deserves. Itâs what we both do.Â
Iâm almost thirty. I keep thinking about it. I thought I would be dead tomorrow for a long long long time, until one day I didnât. I am surprised I lived to being 20, but 27??? Itâs so crazy. And Iâm realizing that maybe, at 30, Iâll be living my life in a way that makes me truly happy. My friends I love close enough to visit on a whim, the ability to knock on my best friendâs bedroom door and bother her just whenever, knowing that everyone in the house communicates clearly so that no one is confused or misinterprets anything. I know that my brain is different, but itâs always been this way, and I want to be able to know I am happy and living even if I donât make a lot of money or get famous or well known. My stories are important even if I only ever tell them to my friends. My characters are loveable even if only my inner circle meets them.Â
Honestly, Ty, I am in awe that I am alive and happy and able to feel this much emotion. Do you remember that I used to not feel anger? I didnât recognize it for what it was? Well, with therapy and a shitty manager back at BJâs - which I worked at and now I work from home??? By the way??? I sell medical insurance??? Iâm licensed in 29 states??? - I do recognize it. Now Iâm angry for those I care about all the time. I have new rage and what we call The Old Rage. My cardinal sins are pride, and lust, and wrath.Â
Because I do not hate myself anymore, actually. I do not apologize for feeling things very often anymore, and Iâm great. I am an amazing addition to anyoneâs life. And those who have stopped talking to me lost out on me. Thatâs on them.Â
Iâm so happy to still be alive.
-Kay
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LETâS PLAY HOUSE. | austin!elvis presley (part 1)
notes : âelvis wants to play house with you, if you know what he means.â austin!elvis x black!reader
extra notes : i was bored at work so i started this, also i changed this around too much and i know itâs a bad ending but i think it fits cause if i kept going, it wouldâve gotten worse lol.
you had known elvis since childhood, growing up in the same black neighborhood, so you and him pretty much had the same friends.
both of your moms were close, since they were the only white folk to move to the scarcely rundown neighborhood and the other black folk that lived there were too nervous to talk to them, but your mom wasnât one to be shy about a couple of people.
you and elvis had the same interests, as many as two kids could have between them at that, and often played music and danced together on your little wooden porch. you often thought back to how good of a dancer elvis was and envied him for being able to move good for a white boy.
âi wish i could do that, elvis,â you said to him one day. âyou move nicely.â
âaw, now y/n, you move just as good. maybe better.â he moved some of your curly hair out of your face, smiling at you. âbut i learned how to dance like this from some people in that club over there.â his finger pointed to the wooden shop/bar area that you would sometimes hear music play out of.
your momma never allowed you to step on toe in that place, saying it was tainted by the devil. âhowâd you manage to get in there? my momma doesnât even go in there!â you turned to the golden haired boy.
âi didnât go in, i just watched from the cracks on the side of the building. câmon, let me show you!â he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together, and dragged you along with him.
being just a smidge shorter than him, you were just barely able to keep up. âslow down, elvis! the bar ainât gonâ go nowhere!â
he slowed to a stop once you both were at the side of the building, squatting down at the cracks in the wood. the sounds of guitars strings being plucked flowed out of the side cracks and into your ears. the older darkskin man that sat on the chair strummed and sang to his hearts content. you watched him sing âthatâs alright mamaâ in different ways.
âthere they are, y/n. lookie!â elvis nudged your shoulder and pointed to a beautiful woman in a red and white dress who moved her hips in a way that would make your momma cry if she saw you watching it. the man she was dancing with grabbed her hips and pulled her closerâif that was even possible.
they swayed to the music in sync and the man pulled the woman up by the waist and bounced her up and down. your eyes widened as you took in the sight. you glanced at elvis who had his eyes glued to the scene in front of him, a smile playing faintly on his lips.
âelvis, this is so dirty! how can you like something like this?â
âhow canât you? itâs so intriguing.â he said, not even looking at you.
a million thoughts ran through your head at once before you heard someone yelling at you and elvis to get away from the building. you both bolted as quick as you could back to your little house and walked inside together. âthat was crazy, el. we couldâve got in trouble.â
âbut we ainât,â he says. he then perks up, âletâs do some of the moves!â
âwhat? are you crazy?â you looked at him as if he had two heads on his shoulders. âwe canât do nothinâ that dirty! the Lord would never forgive me!â
âcâmon! itâs not gonâ mean nothinâ! weâre young, the Lordâll excuse it!â he grabbed the front of your new dress your momma sewn up two days ago. âitâll be fun, promise.â
you glanced at the front door, your momma could be home any second but the screen door and wooden door were closed so you could stop before she saw anything. âoh, aâight. you can teach me some moves but do it quickly.â
the boy grinned and ran to the radio you had in the living room and tried to find a station with slow music. he stumbled on one station and decided that it was good enough. he danced back towards your and grabbed your waist and pulled you as close as he could.
he swayed you both back and forth to the music that flowed through the room and around you both. you were too nervous to look into the boys eyes so you just kept your eyes down. he wasnât having it.
ây/n, youâve gotta get into it. like me,â he says.
âwell iâm no dancer like you, elvis. youâve got more rhythm than me and iâm black.â you huff.
he giggles. âyou can do it, just feel the music.â
you tried to feel the music like he said but it just wasnât working. âit still feels wrong, weâre not supposed to be doing something like this!â
âwhat if we pretend?â
you tilted your head as you stepped away from him. âwhat do ya mean? we canât pretend to dance.â
âi mean,â he sits crisscrossed on the carpet. âwe can pretend to be a couple like them in the bar. you can be the momma and i can be the daddy. that way it wonât feel wrong because weâll be pretending to be together.â
you thought for a moment. it didnât sound like a bad idea to you so you decided to just go with it. âi guess thatâll be fine. but do we have to kiss?â
ânot unless you wanna.â he says, slyly.
you giggled. ânot in a million years would i kiss you, elvis presley!â
âoh yeah? why not!â
âboys are gross.â you told him, sticking out your tongue.
you both giggled a little before elvis stood back up and grabbed your hips again. âyou ready to dance again, âmommaâ?â
âiâm ready.â
click here to be added to the taglist!
#a friedwangsss original#austin butler elvis#austin!elvis x reader#austin butler x black!reader#baz luhrmann elvis#lph!universe
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Wow, heâs hot
âPairing: Fem!Reader x Seo Changbin (SKZ)
Word Count: 8K
Genre: Neighbors to Lovers? Lol
Warnings: Aged up characters (Changbin is ten years older than the reader), explicit sexual content, language, drinking
Summary: You were a fresh college graduate, returning home for the summer before starting a bright, shiny new position in the city, but you certainly werenât expecting to fall hard for your neighbor.Â
A/N: I hope at least one person gets my reference/pun at the end....But seriously? Oh, what have I done...
Your roommate was hungover again, dressed to the nines in a purple bathrobe and pink fluffy slippers as she attempted to move huge boxes of random shit between her bedroom and the foyer of your shared apartment.Â
It was priceless entertainment, at least in your opinion, especially after witnessing your roommate in rare form the previous night dancing from one frat boy to the next, draining entire bottles of alcohol like she needed the liquid encouragement.Â
From what you had observed, she was determined to embarrass you at all costs, and under normal circumstances, you couldâve avoided her rather inappropriate behavior in exchange for your regular hook-up, Joshua. But he decided to remain mysteriously absent for the entire evening, which meant that you had been stuck watching over your roommate, hoping that she wouldnât get you kicked out again....
âI know what youâre thinking, Y/N,â Laura huffed, pausing next to the counter-top where you sat. âWhat did you expect? It was my last night of freedom before going back home.â
âYeah,â you snorted. âIt was mine too, but I wasnât plastered face-down in the shower last night.â
âWhatever,â Laura grimaced. âDid you sign off on the lease yet?â
âI did it earlier,â you replied.Â
âOur bitchy landlordâs been complaining all week,â Laura said. âIâm tired of her late-night phone calls, plus my momâs been really annoying about the move.â
âOh?â you questioned. âWhen is she coming?â
âIn like an hour,â Laura huffed. âWhy do you think Iâm busting my ass to pack everything?â
âI donât know,â you said. âMaybe you needed a distraction from thinking about puking in the bushes behind the frat house last night.â
âOh, shut up about that!â Laura hissed, slapping your arm as you kept laughing. âIsnât you brother coming tomorrow?â
âUgh, yeah,â you groaned. âHe said he has to come super early because of work, but my ass doesnât start functioning until at least 8:00.â
âWell, at least tell Chan âhiâ for me,â Laura said, giggling like a love-struck teenager because she had been infatuated with your older brother for years.
âIf I remember to tell him,â you grumbled, stretching out your arms and deciding that it might be useful for you to start packing as well, especially since the most you would be able to accomplish tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn is following Chan around the apartment in a zombie-like state as the two of you loaded your belongings into his car.
âDonât forget that Iâm coming to visit next week,â Laura said, and you perked up a little at the idea of having your friend come around, especially since the two of you had just graduated together and those long days and nights of being glued together at the hip were coming to a bittersweet end.
âSounds good,â you agreed, checking your phone one last time to see a weird gif from Chan (as you had come to expect from him) before joining your roommate in packing up the remainder of your former college life.
Chan had always been prompt when it came to his familial obligations, and the two of you spent two hours loading all of your stuff into his car before starting the long drive to your old childhood home. A place that you hadnât ventured to since leaving four years ago to start undergraduate school.
âLooks the same,â you remarked, sunglasses perched low on your nose as you allowed the window to roll down to take in some fresh air.
âWhat did you expect?â Chan asked, humming away to whatever shitty metal song he had playing over the radio.
In a totally random and last-minute decision, you had decided that for the next three summer months while you were stuck in an in-between phase, you were returning home for a while before you were set to move into a new apartment in the city close to where you would be working full-time. It seemed logical to save money, and there was a small part of you that did miss your family and old friends.Â
Of course, despite Chanâs dismissal of your earlier nonchalant comment about the unchanging surroundings of your hometown, you were startled when you realized that the old house next door, which used to be occupied by an elderly couple until they moved away during your senior year of high school, was missing itâs familiar âfor saleâ sign in the front yard, and there was a black Mustang in the driveway.
âHome sweet home,â Chan sighed when he stopped in the carport attached to your former two-story staccato, opening the door with a grumble.Â
You frowned, following him around to the back of his car. âSomeone bought the house next door?â you asked, dragging your eyes away from the sleek, shiny sports car to look at your brother.
Chan grunted as he heaved your suitcase from the trunk. âYeah, they moved in last month. I think the owner is a lawyer and he lives there with his daughter.â
âHuh,â you remarked. âThat house has been vacant for years.â
Chan shrugged. âYeah, well, the guy who lives there now is really nice. Mom and dad babysit for him a lot when heâs working.â
âGreat,â I muttered. âTheyâll rope me into helping.â
âSâ not so bad,â Chan said, growling in frustration when your suitcase fell over to the side with an unpleasant crash. âCan you help or what?â
You laughed at your brotherâs outrage, reaching back to pull your hair into a messy bun.Â
Meanwhile, you noticed the front door of your house opening from the corner of your eye, smiling when your mother shrieked and rushed down the sidewalk to meet you halfway in a long-winded embrace. âY/N!! Iâm so glad to see you.â
âYouâre crushing me,â you heaved through constricted lungs, accepting your motherâs open arms even if it was a little over-eager.
âOh! Iâm sorry, dear,â she said, pulling back just enough to allow oxygen to circulate once again, but not enough to pull you away from her mushy kisses. âYou look so healthy and beautiful!â
âYeah, thanks mom,â you said, slowly beginning the untangling process of removing her arms from around you while Chan struggled in the background to carry your suitcase up the front steps. âI should help.â
âOf course!â your mom agreed, but a distant tug of curiosity had you turning back to look at the house next door once again.
âHey? Do you know anything about the new neighbor?â
âYou mean Changbin? Heâs wonderful, darling. So polite, and his daughter is so funny.â
You wrinkled your nose, never having been a huge fan of kids. âChan said you babysit for him sometimes.â
âItâs always nice to help someone out,â your mother tsked, and you could recognize her patronizing tone from anywhere. âSuch a shame that he divorced his wife. Heard it was kinda nasty.â
âItâs not any of our business,â you reminded her.
âOh, I didnât say it was!â your mother sighed. âHe doesnât talk about it much.â
âJeez, how much do you guys talk?â
Because from the sound of it, Changbin had to be as old as your mom to make this much of an impression. You grinned as you briefly imagined the two of them on the front porch drinking tea together and gossiping about the rest of the neighborhood.
âHeâs far more friendly than Mrs. Jones was,â your mother remarked. âI think youâd like him, Y/N.â
âI donât know about that...â
âWell, youâll get the chance to meet him tonight,â your mother said, smile full and wide. âIâve invited him over for dinner!â
Oh, great.
âCanât wait,â you forced out between clenched teeth, rolling your eyes when your mom clapped her hands together before grabbing your hand to drag you inside, feeling only a distant shiver roll across your spine as you walked onto the porch as if someone was looking at you from afar....
Your mother was hardly the type to run out of conversation, and you eventually were forced to leave her downstairs to argue with Chan over some menial thing that he forgot to do for tonightâs big dinner while you trudged upstairs to find some peace.
Unsurprisingly, your childhood bedroom remained untouched, and you circled around the perimeter, studying old pictures of yourself playing sports and hanging out with friends. Fingers dusting over your collection of old trophies and high-school yearbooks that recalled long-ago days of feeling carefree - with the future wide-open in front of you for the taking.
But you were well off in the present, allowing yourself to indulge in the nostalgia of looking through old diaries and journals before your motherâs voice called you downstairs for dinner later that evening. âComing!â you called back, pausing next to your mirror to check your reflection.
The smell of your motherâs cooking had your stomach rumbling from the hunger of only stopping once on the way home to eat cheap fast-food with Chan, and you forced yourself to walk like a normal person even though every instinct was screaming at you to find the source of that delicious odor.
You were nearly salivating at the idea of your motherâs homemade cooking, and your hand caught the rail of the bannister to turn the final corner, but the sounds of voices from below forced you to pause at the top of the stairs, eyes growing wide as you took in the sight of the unfamiliar man standing in your foyer, talking to your mother like they had known each other for years. âOh, Y/N,â your mother said, and you shivered when the man turned to look at you. âCome meet our neighbor, Changbin. I think youâll really like him.â
You held back a snort at the ironic comment because it only took you a few seconds to come to the conclusion that Changbin epitomized the phrase âjust my type.â
He was on the shorter side, built like he had literally spent his entire life working out, arms bulging beneath his t-shirt and chest straining the material tight to his front. So much so that you could practically see his nipples through the fabric.Â
His hair was jet-black, ruffled from the wind outside, and his eyes were equally as dark, lips contorted into a self-satisfied smirk that you found exceedingly hot.
âHi,â you mustered without much thought, nearly tripping over your own two feet on the way down the stairs.
âThis is my daughter, Y/N,â your mother said, inviting you closer so that you were standing directly in front of Changbin.
âNice to meet you,â he said in a deep voice that was slightly rough around the edges.
âY/N just graduate from college,â your mother gushed. âWeâre so excited to have her back.â
âIâm home for the summer,â you explained, shivering at the dark look in Changbinâs gaze. âIâm starting an internship in the Fall.â
âY/N will be working in publishing,â your mother explained, jumping in while you and Changbin continued to stare each other down - something intense and provocative.
âReally?â Changbin asked, eyes making a leisurely stroll of looking you up and in down in a way that had you feeling extremely self-conscious.Â
âOh! Give me one second to check something in the kitchen,â your mother said, excusing herself with a smile before leaving the two of you alone in the foyer.
You inwardly cursed your mother for leaving you both in an awkward silence. Say something!! You screamed to yourself.
âSo,â you started, clearing your throat and forcing yourself to stop swaying back and forth. âChan told me you practice law.â
âYeah,â Changbin agreed, and you swooned at his crooked smile. âIt doesnât sound as interesting as your work.â
âI donât know about that,â you countered politely, but Changbin was unrelenting.
âYou looked surprised to see me earlier,â he remarked.
You swallowed hard. âOh, well when Chan mentioned a neighbor with a kid, I just wasnât expecting someone so....â
âYes?â Changbin prodded, encouraging you to continue.
Someone so fucking hot, you thought to yourself, someone who was literally made inside my best fantasies, but those explicit thoughts belonged exclusively inside your head. âYoung,â you eventually finished, and Changbin seemed disappointed for some reason.
âIâm 32,â he said, and your eyes widened perceptibly, realizing that he was ten years older than you.
âI wouldâve never guessed,â you said. âI mean, not that itâs a bad thing-â
âItâs alright,â Changbin interrupted, and you were relieved to hear him chuckle. âI know what you mean.â
âIâm sorry,â you said. âI can be a little awkward.â
âNo,â he shook his head, coming to stand a little closer. âI think itâs nice.â
Oh? What was that supposed to mean?
âI used to have a boyfriend who looked a lot like you,â you went on, freezing when you comprehended what you had just blathered without thinking.
But Changbin didnât seem bothered at all. âI bet he wasnât as old as me.â
âHe was my age,â you said. âBut I kinda like older men...â
Fuck. Did those words really just come out of your mouth?!
âY/N,â Changbin said, and you trembled at the huskiness of his tone. âYou should be more careful.â He leaned in then as if trying to keep whatever he was about to say a secret for just the two of you. âI can be a very dangerous man.â
âO-oh,â you stuttered, finding yourself two seconds away from literally melting at his feet when your mother suddenly re-entered the foyer with a dusting of flour across her chin.Â
âDinnerâs ready!â she announced, and you were fleeing behind her without a second thought, escaping the intoxicating hold of Changbinâs presence before you did something you might regret.
For whatever reason, you found yourself sitting next to Changbin in the dining room for dinner that night.Â
âI made chicken,â your mother said, gesturing to each dish sitting in a line down the center of the table as she explained tonightâs menu. But you were barely cognizant of what your mother was saying because the close proximity to Changbin was doing very strange things to your head.
âSo, Y/N,â your father started when everyone had been served. âI hope your brother was helpful with the move.â
Chan rolled his eyes, but you grinned at your fatherâs words. âYeah, I was a little out of it though because of the time.â
âLike I said,â Chan huffed. âI couldnât get there any later.â
âLet the bickering commence,â your mother said. âChangbin, you wouldnât believe the fights these two had when they were young.â
âI can only imagine,â Changbin said, and you were wondering how someone could be even more attractive by the sound of their voice alone.
âDo you still need us to babysit for you tomorrow night?â your mother asked. âWe would be more than accommodating.â
âThat would be great,â Changbin said. âIâve got a late conference call.â
âItâs no problem,â your mother continued. âYour daughter is just the loveliest.â
âWell, Iâm glad to hear that,â Changbin replied.
âY/N,â your mother said, catching you with a mouthful of chicken. âChangbinâs daughter is such a peach.â
You quickly forced down the food in your mouth when you felt Changbinâs gaze rest on you. âOh? How hold is she, Mr. Seo?â
âSheâs six,â Changbin said, and he shifted in his chair, causing your knees to brush together in a move that you knew wasnât intentional, even if it didnât stop your legs from wrapping together. âAnd you donât have to be so formal with me, Y/N. Only my clients call me Mr. Seo.â
âO-oh,â you exhaled, reacting to the brief contact under the table, hoping that nobody else was noticing your strange behavior.
âMaybe Y/N could help watch Lucy when youâre gone,â your mother suggested, always the first to rope you into these things.
âSure,â you agreed, even though the idea of pulling babysitting duty was less than appealing, and you could hear Chan snickering from across the table. He knew perfectly well your attitude when it came to kids.Â
âI think Lucy would like that,â Changbin agreed, and you started to nod along until you felt Changbinâs hand move to your thigh.
Just that single move had your entire form frozen in place.Â
While your mother continued talking about whatever subject caught her attention, you were left wondering how you should react to the very obvious posturing of Changbinâs hand moving decidedly against your bare skin.
âIâll probably head back into town tomorrow morning,â Chan said. âI wasnât able to get much work done.â
You knew it was a playful jab at you, but at that moment you were incapable of coherent speech.
âHow is work, Channie?â your mother asked, just as ignorant as the rest of them to the situation unfolding beneath her table. âAnything interesting?â
âNot really,â Chan replied, and you nearly choked on the food you were swallowing when you felt Changbin squeezing your thigh.Â
âTry to chew it first, Y/N,â your father chuckled, and you forced a smile which you hoped wasnât as strained as it felt.
âWhat about you, Changbin?â your mother politely queried. âAnything interesting happening lately?â
âMaybe,â he said with a tone that was far too knowing.
âHmmm?â your mother smiled. âYou arenât seeing anyone, are you?â
You knew the question was invasive, but Changbin handled it in stride. âI think it depends.â
âSounds scandalous,â your mother joked, and you couldnât have possibly been imagining it, feeling his fingers reach so high under the opening of your shorts that his fingertips touched the outline of your panties.Â
You reached down to cover his hand with your own, bringing awareness to the fact that you werenât ignoring what was happening, and he had every opportunity to pull back.
But he didnât. In fact, Changbinâs light, playful touches only continued, and you were left reeling for what the intention could possibly mean.
Early the next morning, you were supposed to be cleaning the pool as a favor to your mother, but how could you be blamed for sneaking peaks at your neighbor working out in his backyard?Â
âHoly shit,â you cursed under your breath, failing to do a very good job of pretending to be occupied with your current task while ogling the man across the lawn who was in the middle of another round of push-ups, biceps flexing while the rest of his body practically glowed under the sun.Â
You knew it wasnât a crime to permit the occasional glance, but your hardcore staring could certainly be qualified as spying at this point (especially in the direction of a lawyer) - making it blatantly obvious that you were very appreciative of the male form at the peak of performance.
Was Changbin seriously 32? And a father?
The questions boggled your mind, and in your distracted state, you clearly forgot to keep a firm hold on the handle of the poolâs leaf skimmer, huffing in annoyance when it splashed beneath the water.
It was enough to attract Changbinâs attention, and you were sure that your face was just as red as the towel draped over the back of your motherâs patio furniture when he stood to his full height before walking in your direction.
âWere you watching me?â Changbin asked, sauntering over to you with black mesh shorts hanging tantalizingly low on his hips, shirt foregone in exchange for a delightful sheen of sweat coating the skin of his thick upper torso in dripping rivulets.Â
âUh...â you trailed off anxiously, realizing that Changbin wouldnât be stupid enough to fall for your half-assed excuses, especially after what had happened between the two of you last night.Â
âYouâre not planning on lying to me, Y/N?â he asked, raising one eyebrow in question.
âN-no, Mr. Seo,â you said, shaking your head quickly, barely keeping a firm grasp of your bearings as he abruptly leaned in closer, musk hanging heavy in the air between the two of you.Â
âI told you not to call me that,â he said, lips lingering far too close to your ear for a simple neighborly exchange, and you could feel the body heat emanating from him in waves, holding you completely hostage as you briefly entertained the idea of falling to your knees right then and there.Â
âWhat should I call you?â you asked instead, fisting your shirt between your hands because you were desperate for something to ground you in that moment.Â
You could practically feel his smirk, holding in a gasp when his hand settled at the low dip in your spine, fitting into the space there as he pulled you tight against his front. âYou can always call me daddy instead.â
Your heart skipped several beats at the scandalous words. Either that or you had just entered cardiac arrest.
But before you could muster a response, you found yourself leaping out of Changbinâs hold when the backdoor opened, and your mother was screaming out your name while waving like a maniac. âOh!â she said when she realized that you werenât alone. âI didnât mean to interrupt!â
âWe were just talking,â you quickly inserted, glancing at Changbin from the corner of your eye to see him smirking.Â
For a while, the very strange flirtation between you and Changbin simmered down, and you tried your best to avoid him when you could, even if he made that very hard to do since he insisted on doing his morning workouts outside in direct line of your bedroom.
It was during the following week that you brought the divine glory of Changbin to your friend, Lauraâs, attention, ushering her into your house when she parked on the side of street. âWhat the hell, Y/N?â she complained when you started practically dragging her up the stairs. âIâve been driving for hours.â
âOh, hush,â you said. âYouâll thank me later.â
âThank you for what, exactly?â Laura questioned, but your response was to simply push her toward the window, standing side by side as you looked through the blinds.
âMy new neighbor.â
âHoly fuck!â Laura gasped when she finally joined you, and you could only nod your agreement as the two of you continued to watch Changbin through two narrow breaks in your blinds, wondering how the image of your sexy neighbor simply mowing his grass could make you so wet. âThat man is huge!â
âI think he does it on purpose,â you remarked, feeling your heart palpitate inside your chest when Changbin took a moment to pause his chore, reaching down to remove his shirt and tuck it into the waistband of his shorts.
Lauraâs gasp was almost outlandishly laughable. âHeâs ripped! Like, Sports Illustrated model worthy.â
âI would buy every last copy of that edition.â
âIâd even go a step further and tape the pictures to my wall.â
You both stopped to look at one another, nodding in your collective agreement. âNot here, though, my mom would freak.â
âYeah, but how can your mom expect you to just ignore...that!â Laura exclaimed, gesturing wildly to Changbin.Â
âShe thinks heâs a fucking Saint, but I swear to god, Laura, heâs provoking me on purpose! The other night at dinner? He came over and put. his. hand. on. my. leg,â you said, emphasizing the last line with what probably looked like a comical widening of your eyes. âAnd he works out every morning in front of my bedroom? What the hell am I supposed to think?â
âNo think,â Laura sighed dreamily. âJust enjoy the view.â
âDo you think Iâm not?â you snorted. âIâm serious about him doing those things!â
âSo what?â Laura grumbled. âWhy are you actually worried that your fucking super model neighbor wants to make a few moves on you? I would be honored.â
âIâm not worried,â you huffed. âIt just feels like he wants something from me.â
âWell, if itâs a good fuck, then send him all the signals you can, girl.â
âReally?â you muttered. âYou know I suck with flirting. Thatâs why I only hooked up with Joshua at those stupid frat parties. He didnât care that I was an awkward mess.â
âWell, neither will your neighbor,â Laura said. âEspecially if heâs as interested as you say.â
You pursed your lips, considering her comment, but the sudden and unexpected sound of your door opening sent both you and Laura jumping nearly ten feet into the air as you hurried away from the blinds as fast as humanely possible to take up some form of normalcy.
No, mom, of course we werenât staring at Mr. Seo.
âGirls,â your mother inquired as she walked inside, and you prayed that your mother hadnât caught the two of you taking sly peaks at Changbin outside, but she seemed completely ignorant. âI have a question for you.â
âHmmm?â you inquired, innocently enough, trying to act like the position that you had forced yourself into on the bed was totally not uncomfortable.
âChangbin needs someone to watch Lucy tomorrow night, but your father and I already made plans,â she said. âBut I told him you would be more than happy to come over and help him out.â
You winced when Laura elbowed you in the side, giving you one of those looks that you knew quite well from countless nights of barhopping as sophomores. âYeah, I donât mind.â
âIâm sure you donât,â Laura snickered, but you payed her no attention as you hurried to close the door behind your motherâs retreating form, breathing a sigh of relief to hear her walk back down the stairs.
In all of your years of existence, never had you questioned the appropriateness of an outfit to wear to someoneâs place to babysit.
âFuck it,â you eventually decided, settling on regular, well-worn jeans and a college t-shirt.
After all, it wasnât like Changbin was staying for very long. He claimed he had something to do at the office, and you would be all alone inside his house with only his kid for companionship.
Still, after your conversation with Laura from the previous afternoon, you couldnât help but feel more mindful about how he might look at you, and you forced yourself to wear your most professional smile when you rang the doorbell to his house, counting slowly from one until he opened the door.
âHi, Y/N,â Changbin said, and you tried not to blatantly check him out; although, you couldnât help but linger on the tight fit of his shirt across his pecs.
âHello,â you nearly whispered, cursing your hormones as you followed Changbin inside.
âI actually have something to tell you,â Changbin said, leading you into the living room so that you could sit down while entered the adjoining kitchen.
âOh?â you queried, as politely as you could, waiting for him to return.
It didnât take him long, and you found yourself sitting up a little straighter from where you had made yourself comfortable on the couch. âSo, I actually found someone else to watch Lucy,â Changbin explained, coming around to land next to you on the couch with two glasses of wine.Â
âYou did?â you asked, surprised and taken-aback.Â
Why were you here then?
As if he could read your thoughts, Changbin smirked. âThirsty?â
âSure,â you agreed, taking one of the glasses and bringing the rim up to your lips. âIâm sorry, I just thought you wanted me to watch her.â
âI did,â Changbin said, and he seemed contemplative as he sipped his own drink. âBut then I kinda wanted you for something else.â
âSomething else?â you repeated because your mind was spinning those simple words in a thousand different directions, and you were only able to settle on one likely outcome when Changbinâs hand dropped to your thigh, reminiscent of your first dinner together from several evenings ago.Â
He suddenly moved in closer to you, allowing you to smell the subtle cologne that he was wearing. âYouâve been watching me,â he said, and you shivered, feeling both hot and cold at the same time as you looked at him.
âS-sir?â
âDonât play coy,â Changbin continued, and you found yourself observing the way his throat bobbed as he drank. âI donât mind the attention.â
âYou donât?â you replied, a rather useless question considering the circumstances, and Changbin took your glass and sat both alcoholic selections onto the side table.
âWhy wouldnât I like it?â he asked, tracing little nonsensical patterns on the covered part of your thigh. âYouâre a very beautiful girl.â
What. The. Hell?!!
âMr. Seo, I donât think-â
âY/N,â Changbin interrupted, and you were so frazzled and disjointed by the sharp grip he took on your chin, forcing eye-contact that was so intimate, you could feel yourself grow a little bit wetter. âI told you not to call me that.â
It was the only precursor you got before Changbin was delving in, gripping your chin firmly as he connected your lips in a deep, sensuous exchange that had you reeling from the sudden 180 degree turn that the night had taken.Â
In one word: everything was rough. Teeth meeting teeth, and tongues rolling in a messy glide against one another. Wet and warm. Silky and smooth. It was everything you needed in a kiss to get your gears turning, feeling your pussy positively throbbing in response.
âThatâs right,â Changbin eventually said when he pulled the two of you apart - very much still in control. âWe shouldnât ignore this tension between us.â
âNo,â you eagerly agreed, diving in once more for another earth-shattering kiss that rocked you to your very bones, taking the initiative to crawl into his lap, grinding yourself shamelessly against the tight bulge in his jeans while your fingers dug their way into his thick, dark hair.Â
âEager,â Changbin whispered between feverish kisses, keeping your mouths locked together at all costs, even if that meant growing a little bit light-headed from losing too much oxygen.
But you couldnât get enough of him, not after all this teasing and tension.Â
You didnât care anymore, consequences be damned, and there wasnât a single part of you opposing his intentional touches, giving him enough space to unbutton your jeans before sliding one hand beneath the waistband of your panties. In response, you moaned into his mouth, bracing your hands against his shoulders as he found the delicate folds of your pussy.
âDo you want me to touch you here?â Changbin asked, and you were feverishly nodding, sweat forming at the top of your forehead, trying your best to hold back your loudest moans when he slid right in with little resistance, moving his fingers around the inside of your cunt, stretching and filling you in a way that you imagined was nothing compared to what the thick cock beneath you could do.
But you would take anything from him, savoring the glide of his fingers since you were practically drenching him in sticky arousal, jerking forward every so often when his thumb pressed down a little too hard against your clit.
All the while, you could feel yourself start to break apart from the heated contact between the two of you, aching and wanting for the release that the look in his eyes told you he had every intention of providing.
And you were enjoying every bit of the journey to get there, bathing in his attention, groaning when his fingers curled up just right to tease your g-spot, and grinding down against the erection confined tightly in his jeans.Â
Everything was suddenly so much louder, the sounds of his palm smacking against your cunt, fingers gliding through wetness, and the joined harmony of your combined moans and grunts.Â
It was a rapid uphill ascent into the clouds, and you could feel him start to move even faster, pulling against the fabric of your jeans, and there was hardly any time for your mind to truly comprehend what was happening. Lost in a sinful haze of lust and divine rapture, wanting nothing more than to just lose yourself in Changbin.
Except he wasnât letting you simply drown in the pleasure he was giving you, tugging at your hair to bring you back to the present, to the final string keeping your orgasm just out of reach. âYou donât think I havenât noticed,â Changbin growled into your ear, keeping one hand tight around your waist to stop your squirming as he continued plunging his thick fingers between the tight walls of your pussy. âI see you looking at me because I want you to look.â
You moaned at the explicit expression of his desires, closing your eyes and returning your head against his shoulder, hips titillating according to the way he moved his fingers inside of you.Â
âCum for me,â he said, and you were more than willing to let go of everything, including the moans you had been trying to hold back, filling the house with the loud raucous of your screams as your orgasm snapped and unleashed a molten hot thrill along your spine.
You were gasping for breath, returning from the highest peak of satisfaction, but Changbin hardly gave you anytime to recover before he was removing his hand from your jeans and forcing you into the floor.
âMy turn,â he grunted, and the sound of his belt unbuckling triggered some semblance of rationale, and you were practically salivating over Changbinâs cock, eyeing the red bulbous mushroom head and wondering how deep you could take him. âWell?â Changbin prodded, grabbing the base of his thick erection to brush it across the pout of your lips. âOpen wide.â
You whimpered, but obeyed, allowing your tongue to stick out just enough to taste the drop of precum leaking from the tip. It was bitter and unappealing, but since it was from Changbin, you couldnât resist trying more of him, going further and further down until you felt him at the back of your throat.
Your jaw was already aching from the extension, and a distant thought had you thinking, damn, you were gonna be sore in the morning. But it was completely worth it to hear him moan from above you, fingers tightening in your hair as you allowed him to set the pace, rolling you up and down his cock, tongue sweeping the sides and tip and digging into the little slit where you discovered he was the most sensitive.Â
At the same time, you were all but humping his leg, desperate to get off again as he used your mouth for his own personal cocksleeve, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly, sending you gagging around his impossible length.
âYou take cock like you were made for it,â he remarked, eyes glossing over in a way that had you feeling rather proud of your skills.Â
It only lasted for a moment, and he abruptly held himself all the way down for one, two, three seconds until you were whining for him to let you free just long enough to take in another deep breath.Â
âFinish me off,â he groaned, and you were working overtime to bring him to the edge, bobbing your head up and down the full expanse of his length, all gorgeous and velvety smooth skin. And you braced your hands against his knees, an anchor to reality, when he finally released down your throat, heavy and warm, causing you to nearly choke as you struggled to swallow every last drop.
âGood girl,â he whispered, petting your head softly as you whined and continued to rub yourself against him, jumping off the brink of orgasmic bliss right after him, allowing your head to fall down between his spread legs.
It was a quiet for a while as you both fought to catch your breath, but then he was moving again, rising from his position on the couch.Â
You sat back on your heels at the jostling, whimpering when he stood over you with a menacing sneer, grabbing your face between his hands, forcing your gazes to meet somewhere in the middle even though you still couldnât completely concentrate. But you were cognizant to at least understand his next words: âLucy wonât be here tomorrow night, either.â
âChangbin,â you gasped, understanding the implications of his request and shivering at the effect they could still have on your worn-out body.Â
âIâll leave the door unlocked,â he whispered into your ear, keeping eye-contact as he brought his fingers still coated with your arousal into his mouth, sucking while you grew faint at the sight. Then, he pulled them free and knelt down to sear your lips together so that you could taste the riveting combination of your releases on his wicked tongue.Â
You returned home that night in a daze, immediately heading for your room after assuring your mother that everything was totally fine with the babysitting, even if you probably appeared a little out of sorts.Â
In the meantime, you landed on top of your bed with a sigh, opening your phone contacts to pull up Lauraâs name, placing the call without any mind to the late hour.
She answered on the third ring with a curt grunt. âThis better be good, Y/N.â
âOh?â you replied with a nonchalant tone. âI thought you might be interested in hearing about my latest dick appointment.â
There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end. âYou didnât.â
âI did!â
âWith your neighbor?â
You laughed at Lauraâs shrill tone, rolling over onto your stomach with your feet dancing in the air behind you. âI totally sucked him off.âÂ
âShit! How big is his cock?â Laura whispered over the phone as if anybody could possibly overhear your conversation.Â
âLetâs just say heâs well-endowed.â
âYou absolute slut!â Laura exclaimed. âDid he at least return the favor?â
âOh, heâs a gentleman,â you explained. âHe took care of me first.â
âDetails!â
âHe just fingered me,â you said, even as your mind sprinted with images and sensations; Changbinâs sultry gaze, defined muscles, and the burning desire he had planted deep in your core.Â
âThatâs hot though,â Laura said. âI canât believe you actually did anything with him.â
âWhat? I told you he was sending me signals!â
âYeah, but I was only halfway assuming that those signals might lead to his fingers in you!â
You couldnât help yourself, laughing at Lauraâs incredulous tone, and spending the next several minutes doing your absolute best to provide a heavily detailed play-by-play of your evening tryst with Changbin.Â
âLucky bitch,â Laura scoffed at the end of your long-winded tale. âIâd kill for someone to fuck me.â
âWell, we havenât gotten there yet...â
âYet? Are you planning to go back to him?â
âObviously,â you said. âThereâs unfinished business that I need to take care of.â
âYou think he wants to fuck you?â
âI think he wants to do a lot to me,â you purred, smirking at the sounds of Lauraâs outlandish squeals from the other end.
Still, you didnât think those explicit fantasies would come to fruition so soon. But the next night when you returned to Changbinâs house under the guise of babysitting his kid, there were no formalities between the two of you because you both wanted each other in a way that should be considered improper.Â
Fortunately, you were tired of caring about other peopleâs opinions, and it only took Changbin a moment to pull you into his house before his lips were crushing against yours, holding you around the waist as he started working at your clothes.
If whiplash was a thing in moments like these, then you had it bad, trying to follow the taste of him as he backed you both into the bedroom, closing the door and enveloping you both in the gentle glow from the lamp.
âGet on the bed,â Changbin growled when he finally pulled away, reaching down for the hem of his t-shirt. You swallowed hard at the sight of his broad, toned upper form, stumbling backward along the floor, hopping on one leg to finish removing your jeans for him, leaving you completely naked as you lowered yourself onto the mattress. âGood girl,â Changbin cooed, and you shivered at the huskiness of his voice, rubbing your thighs together in anticipation as he blatantly traced the outline of his cock through his jeans.
âChangbin, please,â you panted, already so worked up from just kissing and feeling his hands all over your body that you were desperate for something more.
âWhat do you want, gorgeous?â he asked, walking slowly around to the front of the bed as you watched him with eager eyes.
âWant you to fuck me,â you said, heart thundering against your chest when he started working apart his belt, pulling down his jeans and boxers and allowing his thick cock to slap up against his abdomen, already so hard for you even though you had just started.
âHands and knees,â Changbin ordered, and you were surprised by your quick compliance, supporting yourself on shaky limbs as you felt him climb on the bed behind you, tensing when the head of his cock grazed your wet opening. âLook at you,â Changbin rumbled, teasing you even more by running his fingers down your spine, allowing his other hand to reach around to grope your breast.
âHurry,â you practically begged him, and it was like the metaphorical band had finally snapped, and you moaned when Changbin took a firm hold of your hips, manhandling you back into position.Â
âGood girls say please,â he snarled, and your entire form light up at the abrupt command.
âP-please,â you stuttered, and there was an unholy line of curses that left your lips when he directed his cock inside, penetrating you so slowly that you could feel every inch of him until he was snug against your ass.
âSince you asked nicely,â Changbin chuckled, and you had never been so turned on before in your entire life, heart racing and blood pumping, bracing yourself against the mattress when he started thrusting, gentle at first, but then faster and faster as you egged him on, wanting him to go so hard that he split you in half around his cock.Â
âOh, fuck,â you gasped, struggling to maintain any sort of grip on the headboard.Â
âYouâve been holding out on me,â Changbin purred into your ear, sounding perfectly put-together despite the fact that he was literally drilling his cock into you. âAll those guys youâve fucked before, I would think your pussy wouldnât be this tight.â
âYouâre just too big,â you managed, crying out when he grazed a sensitive spot.Â
âOh? Is that why this little pussy is leaking so much?â Changbin asked, and you had no response for him, clearly fucked out of all rational thought as his hips slapped against yours in a bruising meeting of skin-on-skin.Â
It was undeniable: you had never felt this full before...like Changbinâs cock was somehow reaching all the way to your guts, and you reached down to place a hand over your stomach, imagining feeling the bulge of his cock against the distended skin.
âHow does daddy feel?â Changbin whispered into your ear, and if it was possible for him to literally destroy you, then it would be from that heavily suggestive question.
âSo good,â you sniffled, tears falling inhibited, leaving your face just as wet as the place where he was crushing himself into you, repeating the same motion of leaving just the tip before re-entering you with added urgency, cock forcing its way between the slick walls of your cunt.Â
It was a beautiful melodic song after that (or, perhaps, hard metal would be a much better genre), the rhythm of his hips rolling against your own, hard and then softer, bruising and fleeting, stuffing your pussy on every upstroke, holding you in place by his pure strength.Â
You could feel that strength everywhere, the force of his cock squelching between your pulsating walls, the way you moved up and down the bed by his control, and, when you reached back with one hand to feel his arm, the flex of his biceps as his arms worked to move you however he pleased.
âWhat will your mother say, Y/N?â Changbin asked. âWhen she finds out that her daughter fucked the man next door?â
Your mother would absolutely lose her shit if she found out that you were willingly spreading your legs for a divorced 32-year old man who had a daughter you were meant to be babysitting. She would be even more taken aback to discover that you loved and craved every second of Changbinâs cock tearing you to pieces, stretching you so good that you imagined that you would still be gaping in the morning, desperate to have him fill you again.Â
âHer little girl screaming like a slut for me,â Changbin hissed. âSay my name, Y/N.â
âC-Changbin,â you whimpered, feeling him roll to a slower pace, merely grinding his hips in circles as if teasing you for the answer.
You flinched and nearly cried when he smacked the fleshy part of your ass, trying to look back over your shoulder to see what you had done wrong. âTry again,â he said, giving you a meaningful look that your poor, fucked-out brain still managed to decipher; although, you were burning in your own skin at the thought of saying it out loud....
âDaddy!â you moaned, and Changbin suddenly reached down to catch a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back and forcing your back into an even deeper arch.Â
âThatâs right,â he sneered. âAnd Daddyâs about to ruin this pussy, fuck it so full of my cum that youâll still be feeling it when you go back home tonight to your parents and lie about what youâve done.â
Your next moan was the loudest of the night, overwhelmed by the nasty things he was saying to you, feeling your orgasm gaining speed and traction the longer he kept fucking you, cock moving at a neck-break pace, and fingers wet and hurried over your clit.
The combined friction of his cock and fingers had you reeling, struggling to keep yourself up as he pummeled you into the mattress. Taking great liberties in the screams he was forcing out of you, realizing that if he angled his hips with one of your legs stretched higher around his hip, then he could somehow reach even deeper, kissing your cervix and threatening to steal the breath from your lungs.Â
More and More. Faster and Faster. Until the breaking point was right under your nose...
The next thing you remember is a release that was so intense, you managed to black-out when it was all over, pussy fluttering around the distinct waves of pleasure, barely coherent as Changbin continued chasing his own release until he fulfilled his obscene promise to you.Â
Three Weeks Later
You had gotten awfully good at keeping Changbin a secret - a dirty and scandalous whisper at that.Â
For a while, your mother questioned your insistence on going over to your neighborâs house to babysit, especially considering your history of being less than willing to interact with children.
âSheâs not like most kids,â you lied, waiting for your mother to relent before grabbing whatever bag you needed consisting of your overnight clothes, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible when you walked over to Changbinâs house.
Your mother watched you, at first, standing on the porch as if ensuring that you made it the dozen or so feet separating your yard from that of your neighborâs. Eventually, she gave up on trying to catch you doing something you werenât supposed to, but you still kept up appearances, ringing the doorbell and taking a few steps to the side to leave enough room for the screen to rotate on its hinges, offering you the irresistible view of Changbin standing there in all his glory.Â
âYouâre early,â he remarked; although he seemed to take great pleasure in seeing you as early as possible.
âIs that okay?â you asked with a knowing look, and Changbin chuckled while giving you his most arrogant smirk.Â
In return, you smiled back at Changbin, watching him open the door just a little bit wider in invitation.
It was all you needed before surrendering yourself to whatever delicious and mind-blowing ecstasy awaited on you the other side. Â
Summer of 69 indeed.
#changbin fanfic#changbinsmut#changbin imagines#changbin scenarios#changbin hard hours#changbin oneshots#stray kids fanfic#stray kids smut#skz fanfic#skz smut#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#skz scenarios#stray kids scenarios#stray kids oneshot#skz oneshots#mostlycompetent
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headcanons for being rodrickâs best friend:
warnings: mentions of drinking and sex + kinda strong language ?
english is not my first language so forgive eventual mistakes! hehe
- you both wouldnât hesitate to get in a fight if you hear someone insulting the other. you once got detention after punching some dude because he said rodrick will never go anywhere in life and rodrick waited in his van outside school then picked you up and almost cried at the sight of your black eye, but then he grabbed your chin and after analyzing your face he came to the conclusion that you looked cool as hell like that
- taking you to buy ice cream and paying because âshe got a black eye for me, so itâs on me this timeâ and the cashier giggles
- everytime someone mentions that they find rodrick cute you start telling them how kind, sweet and funny he is despite the fake persona he puts on around girls and when they question if you like him given how well you speak of him you just reply:âwhat? no! iâm advertising himâ
- rodrick on the other hand just laughs at their faces and says âsheâs way too good for youâ or âif you ever make her cry consider yourself deadâ but if you actually start dating the person he will act ridiculously friendly like âheyyyy *name*, you are such a perfect match, thatâs what iâve been saying you know. iâm so happy!â
- you borrow each otherâs clothes so often that sometimes you look down at your dirty black converse and canât remember if originally they were yours or his
- you tattoo small silly things onto each other and you definitely have the lĂśded diper logo somewhere on yourself
- you love to sing along to songs together. you either do it in his room, pretending youâre playing at a concert and end up listening to some guilty pleasure songs that you wouldnât dare to jam to if someone else was there to see or in heffleyâs kitchen: rodrick sitting on the counter mimicking the drums and you jumping around mimicking the guitar, susan sometimes changes the song without asking so you suddenly start hearing ABBA and rodrick gets soo annoyed lol
- you also do that to cheer yourselves up, if one is sad about someone/something the other will put up a mini concert and act silly until they manage to bring out a laugh (you use his drumstick as a microphone)
- amazing AMAZING chemistry. like heâll say something like âremember the turtles thingâ and youâll instantly understand what heâs talking about. also same childish sense of humor.
- he truly thinks youâre the coolest person ever, whenever you do something that he finds rad like burp really loud or talk about that time you broke into one of your friendsâ ex house because she wanted to take some of her stuff back and he didnât let her he looks at you in awe and gets flustered because âmy best friend is so freaking cool woo-hoo!!!!â
- you love staying at this house because itâs filled with love and chaos in a positive way, whenever you have to go home youâre sad and to survive the fights or the cold silence you cling to the fact that youâll be at his house again soon. rodrick knows that and always wants you to stay a little longer, so his house ends up being a second home for you
- sitting in the back of his van talking about literally everything
- if you canât find a significant other you go to prom together as friends and just take the most stupid pics that youâll look back to and smile. and halfway through the party youâre already bored and just go outside and listen to your punk music
- you get ABSOLUTELY mad at bill at the talent show, you yell in his face that lĂśded diper is nothing without rodrick and you proceed to rip off the paper with the band name that they attached to the drums
- rodrick feels a bit better when he hears your words and you two sit in silence for a while with his head on your shoulder
- then greg convinces their mom to let rodrick play, rodrick hugs you and you two jump up and down in excitement, you thank greg a million times
- you obviously record the exhibition just like you always do. you were there since their first small concert
- you always add your little comments that make rodrick feel so special when he rewatches the videos, like you truly care and are really a fan of their music
- *zooming on rodrick twirling the drumsticks around his fingers in the backstage, waiting for lĂśded diper to be called on stage* âhere we can see a drummer in his natural habitat... iâm glad iâm far away because i know by experience that he kinda stinks... anyway you will notice that heâs a bit nervous... and for what? hate to admit it but heâs great at what he doesâ
- âi hate herâ he says to himself while watching the tape, while not being able to stop smiling because heâs so lucky to have you as a friend
- taking care of each other when youâre drunk !!
- he forgets how to do stuff so you have to drag him to his bed and take off his shoes and jacket
- instead you start questioning life and he has to reassure you that youâll be okay. oh and you absolutely canât stand. literally zero balance. so itâs so funny when both of you are drunk because whoâs gonna be the stable one while walking home?!
- âgod i canât stand you twoâ â the friend that has to take your annoying asses home
- meeting him at the public swimming pool and dipping because that place is almost as bad a school
- greg asks you what do you see in him since youâre his friend and also a girl, you say you canât reveal too much because that would be working with the enemy but you assure him that rodrick can be a kind, funny guy and growing up heâll notice
- greg still thinks youâre a freak for willingly spending time with his brother
- rodrickâs girlfriend finding your clothes in his room and the both of you having to explain itâs just an habit and thereâs nothing malicious about it
- rodrick forgetting about you for a week because heâs so obsessed with impressing heather, he comes back saying sorry a million times and saying that he realized itâs not as fun when youâre not around
- rodrickâs mom shipped you guys for a while and even his dad admitted that you were a good match (which he didnât mean as a positive thing shxjdhd), but after realizing you two are just friends susan felt sad because that meant she had to witness rodrick acting like a douche to impress girls for a bit more
- one of you definitely walked in while the other was having sex with someone lmaoososos
- you couldnât stop laughing about it when you met afterwards
- ânice c*ck/t*ts (your choice) by the wayâ
- âSHUT UP but also, thank youâ
- you canât say no to the otherâs ideas no matter how stupid they are. rip
- being grateful for the other because âi truly couldnât have survived school without youâ
- eating A LOT of junk food
- going to the cinema to watch horror movies, sometimes he canât sleep afterwards so you have to hold him and itâs so funny to you
- arguing every once in a while and when his voice rises of a few octaves you canât help but laugh
- âyo, STOP LAUGHING.â
- âok squeaky toyâ
- âweâre doneâ
- ânoOOOOâ
- when itâs more serious one of you always ends up looking for the other and both say sorry
- âi canât really stay mad at you. i just donât see the pointâ
- youâre gonna give speeches at each otherâs weddings if you decide to marry and itâs going to be SO chaotic :â)
- WAIT ALSO matching tattoos !!!!
- basically heâd do anything for you and youâd do anything for him and itâs a bond for life babeyyyyyy
(shorter but still cool part 2)
#rodrick heffley#rodrick heffley headcanons#diary of a wimpy kid#not my rodrick#rodrick cult#mine#rodrick x reader#rodrick heffley x reader#rodrick heffley x female reader#rodrick x female reader#rodrick friendship fic#doawk
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Hi! Can I request a Jean x reader where another Jean randomly shows up at the door but this "other Jean" is like 15 (or however old he is at the beginning of the show lol). And reader thinks young Jean is SOOO cute and anything he asks for she's like "đĽ°đĽ°đĽ° yes ofc you can have that" or smt. And the ADULT Jean gets jealous and pouty and goes "c'mon babe adult me is cute too đĽş" and you can end it however you want lol. I just thought it'd be cute
hii! sure sure, i hope you like it :D! i got some trouble cause i think i didnât know how to express it correctly so sorry :(((((
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jean x reader
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Jean's arm is around your shoulders while you read a book, against his body. He's also reading some paperwork when you hear a sutil "knock" on your door. Jean moves but you stop him, smiling.
"I'll go, hm?" he nods and you open the door. The sight freezes you.
In front of you, dressed with a plain white shirt and brown pants, with shorter light brown hair and a modern cut, it's Jean Kirstein. A younger version of Jean Kirstein. You look to the man in the couch, your Jean, to take it back to the kid, the other Jean. Your boyfriend looks at the door when he notices you haven't said anything for a while.
"Babe? Is everything alright?" he asks while he gets up. When he reaches the door, he is also surprised. A blushed younger version of himself takes his gaze from you to him. The encounter between the two versions makes them open their eyes with surprise.Â
âWho are you?â they both ask at the same time.
He says his name is Jean. You invite little Jean to enter home and take a seat on the couch where you and your boyfriend were enjoying a lazy afternoon. The kid - he is around fifteen - looks at you from the corner of his eye, taking his gaze away whenever you or Jean look at him, all blushed.Â
âBut heâs a kid. We canât leave him there, Jean.â you whisper. The boy is on the couch, and you two are discussing near the kitchen door. He looks around, the pictures and the paintings Jean made. His curious eyes canât take his gaze out of the happiness you two show on all pictures. If thatâs the future awaiting him, he isnât going to complain.
âItâs weird. He looks exactly like me when I was his age.â he says. It is true, you canât deny it. The same eyes and expression are on his face, the same blushing cheeks and nervous hand movements. âIt is as if he traveled to the future.â Jean takes his hair away from his face, tying it up on a little bun with a tie he probably stole from you. You take his hand sweetly before walking towards the kid.
âJean, do you want something?â you ask. Jeanâs blushed cheeks receive you, and he nods quietly.
âCan I have a glass of water?â he asks in quiet voice. You nod, smiling at him.
âOf course, of course.â you nod and go back to the kitchen. Jean looks at you when you arrive.
âOi, whatâs that smile?â he asks. You take a glass and a bottle of cold water while your boyfriend follows you around the kitchen.
âHeâs cute.â you say, filling the glass with water. Jeanâs jaw almost hit the floor. âItâs like a cute version of you, more chubby and little.â
You walk again to the living room, your boyfriend trying to stop you. You offer the glass of water to little Jean, that smiles, still blushed, and takes it. Adult Jean is surprised with the capacity of blushing when he sees you. Did he look that stupid when you were starting to date?
âWhat do you mean with âHeâs cuteâ?â he asks, once youâre back in the kitchen, cutting some fruit for the kid. You smile.
âHe reminds me of you, nothing else.â you say. Jean looks your hands, guiding the knife on the fruit. He sighs.
âIâm just forgetting it because you said he reminds you of me.â he sighs, taking a soda from the refrigerator. âBut, the price to pay is really high, and maybe you wonât b... the fuck.â he screams, startled. You turn around. The kid is on the door, looking straight at you.
âWhereâs the bathroom?â
You laugh when you hear your boyfriend leaving with the kid, telling him the direction to go to the bathroom. He sighs when he arrives back. You get closer to him, his hands automatically finding your waist.
"He's cute." you say, getting closer to his mouth. "But you know you're my one and only." The last sentence is whispered against his lips. He smiles in the middle of the kiss, attracting you closer. You push him quietly. "The kid is still here." you say. He pouts but gets his hands out.
"He will not notice. He doesn't enter without your permission." he whispers. His voice is deeper, but you walk with the fruit plate to the living room.
"Ah." he pouts. You give the plate to little Jean, that is now back on the living room. He eats after thanking you, silently. Jean asks him some questions, as his best friend or where does he live. The other Jean raises his shoulders.
"I don't know. This city isn't like the one I used to live in." It's true that some years passed. Jean lets out an angry laugh.
"Are you saying I'm too old, kid?" he says. Young Jean raises a brow.
"Yes. And that haircut doesn't look as good as this one." he admits. That was a clear attack to older Jean. You canât help but laugh, both boys watching you, bewitched. Then, Jean notices.
âOi, you, little one, stop looking at my partner.âÂ
Technically iâm his partner as well, he doesnât get theyâre the same person?
Blushed little Jean looks away. It is almost night, so you prepare something to eat.
âYou donât have to go home?â Jean asks when youâre finish having dinner. The kid raises a brow again.
âI donât know how to go back.â he says. Fortunately, you have an extra bedroom. You prepare everything for him, and when youâre about to leave, with a tall boyfriend waiting for you on the door frame, the kid calls you.
âY/Nâ he whispers. You hum. âI... I canât sleep without my momâs good night kiss. Could you... give me one?â
You smile, your heart could explode with cuteness. You kiss his chubby cheek under your boyfriendâs surprised gaze. âGood night, Jean.â
The boy, blushed as usual, smiles when you leave the bedroom. Jean pouts at you when you enter in bed.
âI canât believe you kissed his cheek.â he says. You roll your eyes, getting your body on top of his.
âOh, come on! I kiss you every day in more places than the cheek.â you say. Is he jealous?
âBut you havenât kissed my cheek for a while...â he saysl his angry pout making you laugh.Â
âYouâre a case.â you say, getting closer and putting your lips softly on his cheek. Jean smiles a little, hugging your body. âYou know I only love you, right?â
âI know.â he says, his sleepy voice melting your heart. He sighs, his fingers on your waist. âOf course I know, babe...â
You get comfy against his body and, slowly, you fall asleep. Next morning, the plates arenât where you left them yesterday. You enter quietly the guest room.
The bed is empty.
taglist <3: @levi-is-a-cutie @lazyezstudy @dazaisusedbandages @riiza @sassyjeankrsÂ
#aot x reader#aot fluff#aot fic#aot fanfiction#aot scenario#aot#snk x reader#snk fluff#snk fic#snk#jean x reader#jean kirschstein#jean kirstein#jean kirschtien#jean x you#jean
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Build-A-Bear
Part Two
Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters
Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence
Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her âunclesâ Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. Thereâs only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. Thereâs one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dadâs rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?
Authorâs Note: This one was gonna be super short but I felt bad so itâs super long instead lol. I originally planned on posting shorter chapters more frequently so it might be closer to 3-4 days between parts now that Iâm posting longer chapters. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! Iâve never done a tag list before so Iâm going to keep the limit pretty small. And if you want, you can buy me a coffee! âŁď¸
(Part One)
Tags: @kennedywxlsh
About an hour later, a light knock on the lab door drew your eyes from your work to Bucky as he walked in. Peterâs eyes darted up but immediately looked back down when he realized the visitor was for you.
âHey Bucky,â you smiled. He smiled back and shoved his hands in his pockets.
âSo⌠you wanted to see my arm?â he said, more as a question than a reminder.
âYeah, if you could sit right here, thatâd be perfect.â
He did as you asked and took a seat on a lab chair, letting you lean across the lab table toward him so you could fiddle with his prosthetic arm. You quickly grabbed your magnifying glasses, flipping the magnifiers up so you could examine him at face value first.
After a few minutes of looking at the outer plating and sensory receptors, you pulled away.
âCan you feel with this arm?â you asked.
âI can feel pressure but I canât actually feel with it.â You gave him a confused look, only sort of piecing together what he meant. As he fumbled over his words to explain again, you put your glasses to the side, running around to Buckyâs side again to stand in front of him.
âOkay, this might be weird but itâll really help me. Hold your hands out, palms up.â He did as you said. âIâm going to do the same thing to both arms and then I want you to show me, using just your right arm, how it felt on each one, okay?â
Bucky nodded and watched as your fingertips gently glided over his forearms, leaving goosebumps in your wake. The second time, you brushed your palms against his skin, as if you were brushing away crumbs. The final time, you scratched your nails down his right arm, making him take in a sharp breath as he watched the skin of his arm turn a pale pink. His left arm, however, kept catching your fingernails between the plates so you resorted to scratching across instead of down.
âOkay, now show me.â You flipped both of your arms over, palm up.
Using just his flesh arm on your right arm, he grazed his fingertips over your skin, admittedly sending a shiver down your spine. You didnât even consider how weak that touch usually makes you, especially from someone who looks like that. And youâd be lying to yourself if you said you didnât find him attractive before you even graduated college. You and your roommates were guilty of many nights of fuck-marry-fight with the Avengers as your victims.
When your gaze moved up to meet his, he brushed his hand over your arm, then delicately scratched his nails down your arm.
If it hadnât been for the slight hum of machinery across the room, youâre sure Bucky wouldâve heard your heart beating out of your chest.
Dad would literally kill me if he knew the thoughts going through my head right now, you thought.
âOkay,â you started, pausing briefly to clear your throat. âWhat about what your left arm feels?â
This one made him furrow his brows, either in concentration or confusion. He pushed his fingertips against your skin harder than before and moved them down your arm. He used more pressure again with the second movement, then went back to heavy fingertip pressure for the scratches.
âHm,â you said simply, letting your arms drop to your sides again. âSo you feel the weight of the touch but not the sensation that comes with it?â The confusion in his eyes made you rephrase. âSo this on your right arm ââ you ran your fingers down his flesh arm again, âgives you goosebumps, but this on your metal arm ââ you repeated on the left, âis just a weight, no shiverbugs?â
âShiverbugs?â he repeated with a barely noticeable smile.
âGoosebumps! Sorry. Shiverbugs is something my grandma used to say. Sometimes I slip into the family slang,â you chuckled. Buckyâs smile grew a bit at the sound of your laugh.
âYeah, I only feel that on the right arm. No shiverbugs with the left.â
You jokingly scrunched your nose at him before returning to your previous seat. He stood there as you scribbled down notes on how he feels things and your immediate thoughts on how to make it more real for him.
âIs there anything you want done to your arm?â
Bucky seemed slightly taken aback at the question, but quickly steeled his expression. âI know Tony wanted to make it quieter,â he said.
You pushed your glasses up your nose and leaned your elbows on the table between you. You could tell he was still pretty reserved, either because you were new and he didnât feel comfortable around you, or because he didnât feel comfortable in the tower as a whole yet.
âI know what Tony wants,â you said gently. âWhat do you want?â
He frowned at this, turning his eyes to the floor as he thought. After a beat, he finally said, âI just want it to feel real again.â
And you couldâve cried right then and there. You knew the story of the Winter Soldier. You had heard what Bucky had been through. You couldnât imagine going through anything close to what he experienced, and youâd be damned if you let him down.
But you couldnât cry in front of him on your first day, so you smiled at him softly.
âThatâs not an easy feat but Iâll do what I can, Barnes.â
He smiled briefly before frowning again. That frown seemed to be his default expression.
âIs there anything else you need?â he asked.
âNot right now. Thanks for helping me out,â you replied. He just nodded before walking out. Your eyes stayed on the door for an extra couple seconds before you spun around on your seat and scurried across the room to plop down next to Peter, who was packing his stuff to head home for the day.
âHey, Boy Wonder, question.â Peter looked at you with raised eyebrows. Nicknaming ran in the family. âWant to use that biomolecular engineering and help me with something?â
â˘â˘â˘
Nearly every day when you stopped in the kitchen for lunch, youâd run into Bucky. Sometimes heâd be with Sam, sometimes Steve, sometimes on his own. But almost every single day, heâd be in the common room chatting or the kitchen eating. For the first couple weeks, he was a little tense when you were around. Youâd hear him and Sam bickering as you approached, just to see him quiet down once you entered the room. It was a bit disheartening at first, but when it was just the two of you, he always engaged.
Youâd called him into the lab a couple times to look over his arm again, but you always felt bad taking him away from whatever training or cases he was working on. The digital renderings were always there, and you spent plenty of time digging into those and running simulations of the different ways you could muffle the wiring. And itâs a good thing you ran the simulations, because a couple of them wouldâve fried his whole arm and then some.
Peter was a great help too. When he wasnât working on his own projects, heâd poke his nose into your work and throw out recommendations. Robotics may have been your specialty, but the kid knew his stuff. Heâs the only reason you finally figured out the perfect combo to quiet Buckyâs arm without knocking him out.
Nearly four weeks after your first day â and a week after Peter went back to campus, leaving you alone in the lab â you cornered Bucky in the communal kitchen again and turned on your classic Stark charm.
âHey Bucky,â you said sweetly, leaning over the counter across from him while he tossed fruit into a blender.
âHey [Y/N].â
Youâd grown a bit more comfortable with each other, mainly from when you two were left alone. He still was a bit quieter with one of his friends around, but he was growing more talkative in general. You felt comfortable tossing nicknames at him; he felt comfortable saying âheyâ instead of âhiâ and once gave you your own nickname. Since you called him Bucky Bear a time or two, he called you Build A Bear. He almost looked panicked when it slipped, but your initial shock was quickly followed by giggles, easing the tension in his shoulders. But the feeling that name sent to your stomach felt more like bats than butterflies. He even joked with you now.
âSo Iâve been looking at the blueprints we have for your arm and I was wondering â I know this is a lot to ask â could I maybe spend some more time digging around in your arm?â You flashed him a hopeful smile, even propping your chin on your hand to look cuter.
Before he answered, he put the lid on the blender and started it, staring at you blankly as the sound filled the entire room. You just sat there, continuing to smile at him. And the more you fluttered your lashes while he let the blender run, the more you could see his frown-y facade start to crack.
He finally broke into a smile when he shut the machine off.
âYou donât have to ask, [Y/N]. I mainly train in the mornings so my afternoons are free. As long as Iâm here, you can call me in whenever.â
You jumped up and ran around the counter, giving him an unexpected hug, made obvious by the way he tensed up. You elected to ignore it.
âYouâre the best, Bucky Bear.â
âYeah, yeah, yeah,â he said, gently pulling away from you to pour his smoothie into two glasses. âI just have one stipulation.â You looked up at him expectantly. âTake the rest of this? I, uh, I made a bit too much.â
With a laugh, you grabbed the nearly full glass and led him down the halls to your lab. Since Peter was only coming back one weekend a month, you had kind of taken over the lab, adding some color to make your workspace a little less drab. Your guilty pleasures playlist â aka your favorite middle school dance songs â played quietly over the speakers as you directed Bucky to sit down.
Getting into his arm wasnât the easiest task. You had to pry off the opening of each individual outer plate, then unscrew â yes, with a screwdriver â the covering on the inner plates to actually see the wiring inside. Fortunately, Bucky brought his phone with him so he could occupy himself and let you focus. You were a bit surprised at how easily he understood modern technology, but he wasnât quite the old man Steve was when it came to the changing times.
After spending a solid 10 minutes leaning over the lab table to open Buckyâs arm, you poked around inside for a while, jotting down notes as you went. Shuri had sent Tony quite a few notes for you to reference, but seeing everything firsthand and taking your own notes always helped.
Unfortunately, Bucky had two removable sections in his arm: one on his forearm, one in his bicep.
âScale of one to ten, how comfy does the table look?â you asked.
Bucky looked up from his phone and gave you a confused look. âUh, maybe a two? Why?â
âWell, Buckaroo, I need to get to the top plate too so youâll have to either hold your arm up for me to get to it or lie down somewhere.â
He glanced back down at the table, then looked at you in confusion as he voiced his own suggestion. âWhat about the couch in the common room?â
You tapped your nose and pointed at him with a smile, gathering your supplies and the rest of Buckyâs arm. He led the way, lying flat on the couch and raising his left arm over his head.
âIs it okay if I play more music out here?â you asked as you unloaded everything.
âSure. I should probably catch up on modern music anyway,â he said with a soft smile. You had Friday play your guilty pleasures playlist again while you got to work on opening up the top of Buckyâs arm.
Youâd been poking around for almost 20 minutes when the silence was broken.
âMusic nowadays is so sexual,â Bucky said suddenly.
âHm. What makes you say that?â you asked, only half paying attention as you drew up more stream-of-consciousness notes on the coffee table beside you.
âThis song.â You paused and immediately recognized the beat for âCandy Shopâ by 50 Cent.
âOh come on, as if you didnât have any inappropriate songs in the â40s,â you scoffed.
âOf course we did but it was never this blatant! We were more subtle back then,â Bucky defended.
âBro,â you deadpan. âIf you think âCandy Shopâ is obvious, you have way more catching up to do. Friday, play âWAPâ by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.â
You watched Bucky react as the song started. Even the initial âthereâs some whores in this houseâ made his eyes go wide. At âwet ass pussy make that pull out game weak,â he turned to you, beet red in the face.
âWhat kind of music do you listen to?!â
âThis is a popular song!â you laughed. âWe have some obviously sexual songs that arenât quite as⌠vulgar too. Friday, play âT-Shirtâ by Thomas Rhett.â
Bucky eyed you cautiously this time, not quite sure if you were actually playing a more censored song. He visibly relaxed when he heard the first lyrics, âGet off of work and we meet down at our spot. We got a patio with a view of a parking lot.â
âSee, this is already so much better.â
âDonât act so innocent,â you smirked, rolling your eyes at him.
âThat sounds like an accusation,â Bucky laughed.
âOh, it is.â
âYeah? Whatâs that supposed to mean?â He sat up to face you directly, one leg landing on each side of your body sitting on the floor. His posture combined with his playful conversation had you wondering where this confidence came from. Because you definitely liked it.
âCome on,â you scoffed. âYou canât convince me a face like that,â you pointed directly at him to emphasize your point, âwasnât making panties drop left and right back in the day.â
He shook his head and laughed to himself, leaning back on the couch, yet made no move to deny your accusation.
âWho wouldâve known my sweet little Bucky Bear was a player?â you joked.
âOh, like youâre not the same way, Build A Bear.â
âExcuse me?!â you squealed. âIâll have you know Iâm a good little Christian girl and Iâm saving myself for marriage,â you said with a grin, maneuvering from sitting on your butt to kneeling and clasping your hands together like you were praying.
âYouâre a lot of things, [Y/N]. A good liar is not one of those things,â Bucky smirked.
Your mouth fell agape. You liked this confident, playful side of him. Youâd only seen glimpses until now.
âWhatâs your number?â you asked, dropping your hands to your sides.
âUhh⌠My phone number?â
âNo, your sexual body count,â you laughed, making sure to clarify; former assassins probably have a different interpretation of âbody count.â âHow many people have you slept with?â
You knew it was a personal question but given the topic of conversation and casual tone youâd both taken on, it didnât seem totally out of bounds.
Bucky thought for a second, slowly counting on his fingers. Your eyes watched as the slender metal digits flicked up: one, two, three... âFour.â
âYeah, okay,â you scoffed.
âWhy is that so hard to believe?â Bucky said with a laugh.
âBecause thatâs my body count.â
âDoll, I took plenty of dames out on the town, but Iâd leave the night with a kiss and nothing else,â he said, that old school Brooklyn lilt sneaking up on him.
You sighed and shook your head, still not believing him but choosing to let it go for now.
âGive me your arm,â you said, holding your hand out. Bucky let his arm drop into your hand while you picked up a microchip with a needle-thin pair of tweezers. âThis will adhere to the vibranium and essentially act like a pillow to muffle the sounds of your arm. So itâll still make noise â I canât just get rid of all sound â but itâll be notably quieter.â
You tucked the chip under the inner plating of Buckyâs arm, watching as it sparked over the metal to let you both know it was working.
âNow lie back down so I can put you back together, Humpty Dumpty,â you said.
Bucky let out a quiet chuckle, but leaned back on the couch with his left arm over his head. After 15 minutes of angling the plating just right so it would fit back together, you climbed off the couch, distancing yourself from Bucky for the first time in nearly four hours.
âAnything else I can help the mad scientist with today?â Bucky asked. He had moved to rest his elbows on his knees, looking up at you from his spot on the sofa.
You checked your watch to see how much time you had left in your workday. 4:15. Forty-five minutes until you can clock out for the weekend. Not quite close enough to bullshit through some dumb side project so you donât get too invested. But thereâs one thing you wanted to check out to improve the feeling in Buckyâs arm.
âCan you take your shirt off?â you asked plainly.
Buckyâs eyes went wide for half a second before he slipped back into his playful demeanor. âShouldnât you take me on a date first?â
âShut up,â you giggled. You giggled. âI just want to see how the arm is connected to your torso.â
Without pause, Bucky leaned forward, grabbed the back of his shirt, and tugged it over his head to let it fall to the floor. Unfortunately for you, you didnât consider what heâd look like underneath his clothing, so it took you a second to gather your bearings again. You couldnât help yourself. How could you not admire the slender lines of his collarbones, the thick layer of muscle covering his chest, the distinct ridges on his abdomen speckled with scars, the very tip of what you could only assume were two tantalizing depressions leading right to â
âLike what you see, doll?â he smirked.
Your eyes met his, reluctantly pulling away from what you knew would be the source of your dreams tonight.
âFour, my ass,â you mumbled in fake annoyance, kneeling between his thighs again to get a better look at him. Your fingertips trailed along the smooth line of scarred skin bordering the harsh metal of his arm. It took all your willpower to focus on work instead of the heat his body was radiating being so close to each other. âWas this how, you know, they put your arm on?â
Bucky shook his head, his expression growing sullen at the indirect mention of his tormentors. âThey just kind of dug away at it. The Wakandans actually cut away a bit more of my skin to allow for healthier healing.â
You could tell it was carefully done, judging by the faint discoloring and thin ridge alongside the metal, as opposed to angry red lines that protruded out like the photos Shuri sent.
âDoes this area hurt?â You pressed your hand flat to the scar; Bucky had to try to reign in his heartbeat. You had leaned in close to see his arm, leaving you close enough for him to just dip his head down and â
âWhatâs going on here?â
Both of you whipped your heads to the side to see a very confused â and slightly annoyed â Tony standing in the entrance to the common room, clearly just passing by and stumbling on a somewhat compromising situation: his daughter on her knees between a shirtless Winter Soldierâs thighs.
Without taking your eyes off your father, you reached around on the coffee table and grabbed your notebook.
âResearch! I promise!â
âResearch that couldnât happen in your designated lab?â You could tell there was so much more he wanted to say, but had to keep it to himself for now to avoid telling Bucky who you really were.
âI had to open the compartment in his tricep area and didnât want to make him lie down on the lab tables for three hours.â The accusatory glare from your dad made you shrink into yourself, your voice growing quieter as you spoke. Fridays were family dinner night, and you already knew you wouldnât hear the end of this.
âUh-huh,â he said slowly, still eyeing you and Bucky suspiciously. âAnd why did he need to be half naked for that?â
âDa â Tony,â you said, barely catching yourself. âI mean, Mr. Stark. I was examining the scar tissue and spinal connection to determine how to enhance the sensory receptors currently embedded in the vibranium.â
Tonyâs eyes flitted between you and Bucky. Your eyes were wide, clearly nervous as he grilled you. Bucky, on the other hand, was flushed pink and leaning a little too close for Tonyâs comfort.
âKeep this PG from now on, okay? And no working outside of the lab. This is Stark Tower, not Bezos Tower. Weâre not gonna work you to the bone.â He started to walk away before stepping back and adding, âNo fraternizing with coworkers, remember?â
With a quick nod, you stood abruptly and gathered your things to take it back to your lab for the night. Bucky was quick to slip his shirt back on and followed you with his head down to avoid the burning gaze of your father â or as far as he knew, his boss.
You didnât expect Bucky to go back to your lab with you, but part of you was glad he did. Being around him brought you a sense of calm and comfort, even after what just happened. If he had just walked away, youâd assume the worst: that an accusation like that was far from what he wanted to hear.
You set all your things back on your table to start putting them away when Bucky shoved his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat.
âSorry about that,â he said. You spared a quick glance at him, seeing the tension in his shoulders as he chose his words carefully.
âWhy?â you asked, genuinely confused on how that situation was somehow his fault.
âTony⌠he doesnât really like me much.â
âYeah, I know,â you laughed. âBut that was way more of a me-problem than a you-problem. Weâll just have to work in here from now on.â You shrugged and went back to putting your tools in their respective drawers.
Bucky still stood right inside the doorway, the door shut behind him so no one outside could hear you two. He rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to force himself to follow through with at least mentioning what he planned on asking you.
âI was actually gonna see if you wanted to get dinner together sometime until Tony gave us that speech,â he chuckled.
You slid the final drawer shut and turned to Bucky. You knew you two were getting closer and you couldnât deny feeling an attraction to him, but you never expected him to feel that same pull. The thought made you smile back at him while he cracked his knuckles, most likely from nerves. What happened to that fun and flirty attitude he had just a few minutes ago?
Your grandma always said to never date a man who wasnât nervous about asking you out...
âIâm pretty good at keeping secrets,â you said quietly.
His eyes stopped darting around the room to find your gaze. You stepped closer, taking slow steps as you crossed the room to him until you were toe to toe. He didnât take his eyes off of you until you held your phone out to him.
âI wonât tell if you donât,â you said with a small smirk.
His lips curled into a small smile as he snatched your phone and entered his number.
âIâll text you my address. Does tomorrow night work?â you asked, unintentionally biting your lip but not missing the way Buckyâs eyes followed the movement.
âTomorrow sounds great,â he replied.
âOkay. See you tomorrow, Buck.â You took a bit of a risk and stood on your tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, his face immediately flushing red. Your own cheeks grew warm when you stepped back, tossing Bucky a quick wave as you turned back around and hoping heâd leave before you started screaming.
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x Stark!reader#bucky barnes x Stark!reader#Stark!reader#bucky barnes fanfic
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Enemies-to-lovers!Changbin
request: Hiiiii I read you bangchan enemies to lovers au and I swear if I could like a post more than once I'd like that one a MILLION TIMES I'm wondering if maybe you could write an enemies to lovers au for changbin pretty please? đĽşđĽ° genre: enemies-to-lovers!au (again, not Super extreme, low-key clash bc theyâre both stubborn), film club president!Changbin, childhood penpal!au (fluff, very mild angst, they bicker a lot, kind of cheesy bc changbinâs a sap and we know that) pairing/s: Changbin / Reader (ft some skz members) word count: 17k+ tw: mild coarse language (they say shit a lot LOL) a/n: THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS...IM PRETTY SURE you waited months for this so thank you for being so so so patient!! I decided to try something a little different from my usual style but idk if itâs That Obvious, but its more structure wise I guess, but nonetheless, I'll be getting a little busier soon so Iâm not sure If I'll be able to put out Full one shots for the next few months but I'll try my best w those little shorter ones maybe! (I'll have to see how Tired I am) also p.s I love this gif thank u to whoever made it but changbin is blonde in this fic bc of Personal ReasonsÂ
To: my penpal Y/N
How are you?
I had a good day today. Sorry if the paper is crunchy I am writing this on my bed because my mom thinks I am already asleep. Today I went out with my mom and we went to the park and ate some sandwiches at the park. We had a picnic but with no juice because my sister finished everything. And then we went to the toy shop after lunch. I saw a keychain of a camera and bought it for you because you like acting and cameras can take a video of you acting.
This is a picture of me next to the wishing well at the park, you cannot see it but iâm making a peace sign. I threw a coin in the well and made a wish that your audition will be good. I know you will do very well because you practiced a lot for it. Thatâs all. Iâm a bit tired now. Goodnight, or good morning if you are reading this in the morning. Or afternoon.
I hope iâll be hearing from you soon, Binnie. Â
âSo, do you wanna keep them? If not I can chuck them together with the rest of your old things,â your mom began, already reaching over to take the letter from you.
Your eyes widened just as quickly, shaking your head quickly as you gripped the envelope and its contents behind your back away from her reach.
âNo, no. Donât throw them away,â you said sternly, softening your gaze when you noticed the way her eyebrows had raised in amusement, embarrassment washing over your features.
âIâll keep them. Gimme the box.â
Your mom set the beaten looking converse shoebox down onto the table, shaking her head at you as a small chuckle escaped her. Mental note to transfer the letters to a smaller (and more durable) box.Â
âAlright, alright,â she waved her hands at you in dismissal, âhurry up or youâll be late for school.â
She shut the door behind her with a light thud, leaving you to stare at the grainy polaroid your childhood penpal had sent you when you both were only eight and still exchanging letters every week.
Inhaling deeply, you shoved the polaroid picture back into the envelope, slipping it into the box of envelopes before getting up. You figured that was a box you wouldnât have the time to delve into when you were already keeping Jisung waiting.
Driving as fast as you could (or as fast as you dared to) within the speed limit, youâd reached your campus soon enough. It wasnât that long of a drive and it would be even shorter (walking distance to be specific), when you move into your apartment nearer to campus in a few days. But that didnât change the fact that you were running late now, spotting Jisung standing by the fountain with a sour look on his face that had only deepened once heâd spotted you.
Before an utterance of apology could leave you, Jisung had pursed his lips, stretching out his hand that held your cup of drink, a small hint of a smile playing at his lips.
âIâm starting to wonder which one of us has worse time management,â he sighed deeply, shaking his head with feigned disappointment as he glanced at his nonexistent watch on his wrist.
Jisung was one to talk, for sure. His crumpled looking shirt over baggy cargo pants and a hat to cover his head of messy hair told you his journey to school wasnât exactly âleisurelyâ either.
You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste, âitâs definitely you. I was only late today âcause my mom was showing me my old stuff she found in the storeroom.â
Jisung waved you off, âfine, whatever,â he fished his phone out of his pocket as you started walking towards the auditorium for a class you were both dreading.
âOh, shit, Hyunjin says the professorâs already in class, we should hurry up.â
Quickening your pace, you were glad to have reached before your professor had started, Jisung directing you towards where Hyunjin was seated at the side of the auditorium, giving him a small nod as you sat down.
Not that Hyunjin noticed anyway, the said boy busy with messaging someone on his phone with a frown on his face.
âWhat are you doing?â
Jisung peered over Hyunjinâs shoulder, frankly not wanting to focus on the lesson as the professor played a video on boring business things he figured he could just ask you for later.
Hyunjin sighed, setting his phone down onto the table and pushing his laptop open further, going to his email with quick clicks on his trackpad, âgotta send the scene for the auditions later to Changbin.â
âOh, for that film thing?â Jisung asked, earning a nod from Hyunjin, whose eyebrows furrowed as they remembered your presence.
âY/N should audition,â Hyunjin nodded his head towards you, his mention of your name distracting you momentarily, but youâd brushed it off quickly as you tried to take down whatever your professor was rambling on about.
At your lack of response, Jisung nudged your shoulder with more force, âhey, did you hear what Hyunjin said?â
You tore your gaze reluctantly from your professor as your fingers finished typing whatever you had left in your memory, the confused look on your face prompting Hyunjin to take over.
âWeâre having auditions later for the movie the film clubâs gonna be making,â he started, nodding slowly as his eyebrows raised, âI was saying you should join, youâd be good for the role.â
You narrowed your eyes at Hyunjin, âwhatâs it about?â
Jisung huffed, âsome cheesy penpal shit, the last I heard.â
Your quirked an eyebrow at that, Hyunjin rolling his eyes.
âSomething like that, but itâs not super romantic. Theyâre childhood penpals who meet again in the future but they donât end up together, I donât know how to explain it to you as well as Changbin can, but will you come anyway?â
You scrunch your nose as you consider his offer.
Was there anything you needed to prepare? You didnât even know exactly what you were signing up for. Or much less anyone in the film club. Well, other than Hyunjin, of course. Â
âIs there any script I'm supposed to prepare with?â you asked, making Hyunjinâs eyebrows raise, his lips parting in realisation.
âIâm pretty sure it depends on what role you wantâŚâ he trailed off, making you scoff.
Not being able to help the laugh from escaping you, you narrowed your eyes at him, âyou sound like youâre not even in the club.â
Hyunjin flashed you a sweet smile, âyou know what? Iâll just send you what I sent Changbin. You can just prepare with that! Pennyâs role!â
Jisung snorted, his hand coming up in a poor attempt to stifle his giggles.
âPenny? Is it because...sheâs a pen pal?â
You pressed your lips into a firm line, finding it awfully amusing as well.
Hyunjin frowned, scrunching his nose up in distaste, âwe couldnât think of anything better, okay?â
You huffed, lower lip jutting out in a small pensive pout. You didnât have much going on in terms of school productions as of now, anyway, you guessed there would be no harm in showing some support for Hyunjin.
âWhat time are the auditions?â
âThey start from lunchtime until like five,â Hyunjin tried his best to recall, looking at you with his best pleading gaze.
Sighing again, you nodded, âthis is my only class for today.â
Hyunjin was practically beaming now.
âPerfect.â
===
âI donât like it.â
Hyunjin sputtered over his sip of coffee, an incredulous expression on his face, attracting looks from the other film club members in the dance studio. Excusing himself, heâd made his way outside, oblivious to the squeals and stares the girls waiting to audition were directing towards him, settling himself in the middle of the field outside the dance studio. Â
âWhat do you mean, âyou donât like itâ?â he asked you again, his eyebrows furrowed as curiosity took over him.
You sighed, rolling your shoulders back as you nodded at one of your teachers you were walking past, your grip relaxing on your phone as your arm had started to get tired.
âI mean, I read through the script, and something about Pennyâs character just doesnât sit right with me,â you told him, âit just⌠doesnât make sense for her to come to that conclusion when sheâd been having a perfectly good time with the guy before that, you know?â
Pausing, youâd waited for him to respond, his silence prompting you to continue with your elaboration.
âOkay, Iâll put it this way,â you started, adjusting your grip on your laptop in your arm, âIf I were a reader, or like, a viewer in this case, I would wanna be able to pick up on these small moments or signs that Penny is actually thinking about her relationship, do you know what I mean? Because now the way it looks is that sheâs just a plot device meant to hurt him, and that thereâs no exploration of the development of their relationship at all.â
Hyunjin let out a deep sigh, âOkay, I know, I know, but the thing is⌠this was Changbinâs idea, and I donât know if youâve heardâI mean, you probably have, but⌠nobody really questions him.â
You hummed, following Hyunjin into the school building and tugging your coat tighter around yourself, the cold air in the building shocking you as you entered.
âYeah, I get that, but youâre forgetting that I donât have the same relationship with this Changbin guy that you guys do. I donât mind telling him that I have a problem with it. I donât wanna be acting out some two-dimensional love interest character if I can help it.â
Hyunjin grimaced, not seeming to be too keen on your insistence, âI really think it might be a little late for him to change the script.â
âItâs never too late.â
âWell to Changbin it could be!â Hyunjin insisted, making you roll your eyes, a small chuckle leaving you.
You huffed, âI still think the audience deserves a better film with better crafted characters.â
Hyunjin let out a sound in between a sigh and a groan, âOkay fine, you just have to make sure you get the role, and then youâre free to argue with Changbin all you want. Deal?â
âDeal,â You turned the corner and spotted Hyunjin standing in the middle of the field, already making his way back to the dance studio.
âOkay,â he spoke before you could end the call, âI gotta go, see you later.â
You didnât expect there to be so many people at the auditions, mostly girls and just a handful of guys. Though you seemed to piece the uneven ratio together when you saw the not-so-furtive stares the girls would cast in Hyunjinâs direction whenever heâd peek his head out from the crack in the door to call the next person in.
You recognized one of the guys whoâd come in later than you, one of Jisungâs upperclassmen friends whose name was Minho.
âDidnât think iâd see you here,â he gave you a small smile as he took a seat next to you.
Shrugging in response, you let out an awkward huff of laughter, not used to talking to him about anything other than his cats and Jisungâs whereabouts.
âYeah⌠well, Hyunjin asked me to come, so I figured I might as well,â you fiddled with the slip of paper with the scene printed on it, ânot like I had anything better to do, anyway.â
Minho nodded slowly, leaning closer to you and dropping his voice to a murmur, âIâve never seen any of these girls before.â
You huffed, âIâm pretty sure most of them are here for Hyunjin.â
âOh yeah, makes sense,â Minho hummed, a small lilt of amusement to his tone, âwhere is he, anyway? He told me he would be hereââ
Minhoâs question was answered when the girls beside the both of you had erupted into harsh whispers and murmurs, tapping each other excitedly as Hyunjin could be seen through the window panel in the door, looking on seriously as one of the girls inside the room was auditioning.
You huffed, gesturing to the window.
âFound him.â
Inside the room, Changbin was distracted.
He knew he had a certain image in his head about what he wanted âPennyâ to be. But whatever the girls that had auditioned so far had been showing, that dramatic âi never loved you!â emotion, that wasnât exactly it. And it didnât help either that they struggled letting go of the dramatics when Chan would prompt them to try a different angle.
Hyunjin cast a (mildly concerned) look at Changbin, trying to gauge his expression, figuring the pointed look Changbin had sent his way was enough to say he didnât think this girl would be shortlisted.
âWhoâs next?â Chan leaned over in his seat to peek at the clipboard of names of signups, Changbin leaning back in his seat and pushing the clipboard towards him, not finding it in him to be able to be more hopeful about the next person.
âOh, Y/N,â Chan hummed, nodding with an impressed expression on his face, the name catching Changbinâs attention, âthatâs cool, didnât think theyâd audition.â
âY/N?â Changbin echoed, something about the name awfully familiar to him, yet not being able to make the connection in his memories yet.
So for now, heâd simply gestured to Hyunjin to signal that he could send the next girl in, Chan sweetly thanking the girl that had just auditioned as she left the room.
Making your way into the room, you scanned the âpanelâ of judges.
You recognized Chan, the said pale-faced boy looking even more tired when heâd yawned as you made your way to the centre of the room. He came to your school productions often since he and Felix were friends, and Felix was always involved in some way or another. The other boy, though, you didnât think youâd seen before.
The two of them seemed to exude completely different auras, with Chan smiling warmly at you and gesturing for you to come closer while the other boy sat with his arms folded across his chest, frowning at you as though you were a code to decipher.
âHey, didnât expect to see you here,â Chan broke the silence first, giggling.
You shook your head, âhonestly didnât think iâd sign-up either.â
You pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile, rocking back on your heels as you glanced at the boy next to him again, âI actually only heard about it from Hyunjin this morning,â you admitted, Hyunjin flashing Chan a grin from behind you as if to say âyouâre welcomeâ.
Changbin cleared his throat, making Chan perk up.
âRight, sorry. So, weâve obviously met but this is our clubâs president Changbin,â he gestured to the boy sitting next to him.
Changbin nodded curtly, bringing his hand up to run it through his bleached hair and shoving his cap back on his head with habitual movements.
Now you were starting to understand why Hyunjin was so intimidated by Changbin, always having heard stories about him but only now being able to put a face to the name.
Nodding slowly, you gave him a smile, ânice to meet you, Iâm Y/N.â
Changbin had to stop himself from faltering, his breath hitching when he realised why your name was so familiar.
After all, it had been the first candidate before theyâd decided to go with âpennyâ. He wondered how cruel fate was to have brought you, someone with the same name as the person heâd practically based this story on, to be auditioning for the very role.
You tried not to be offended by the way Changbin had simply nodded at you, straightening up in his seat, âand youâll be auditioning for the role ofâŚ?â
Would it hurt him to smile?
You inhaled deeply, trying to hide your amusement as you answered him, âPenny.â
Changbin nodded, Chan humming as he looked up from his copy of the script to give you another reassuring smile.
âAlright, whenever youâre ready. Iâll be taking the lines of the male lead,â Chan told you.
You understood that the scene was some sort of scene where the two romantic leads have some sort of confrontation, and you did your best to get into what you imagined Penny would be feeling, Chan reading the line asking if âpennyâ had even loved him at all. Dramatic was the word to describe it, really. Â
You softened your gaze, unintentionally letting it rest on Changbin but deciding to let it stay there, executing your lines all the while trying to ignore the way Changbinâs stare was unnerving you, making you want to prove to him that you were a good actor even though he hadnât questioned your acting skills.
Hyunjin had been watching the exchange closely, Changbinâs grip on his pencil loosening as heâd let the pencil fall softly against the table.
Changbin wondered if it was some sort of coincidence, because whatever âitâ was that heâd been looking for in Pennyâs character, youâd managed to convey almost perfectly.
And it was clear that Chan had felt the same way as well, since once your audition was over, the smile on Chanâs face was nothing but beaming.
Once youâd left the room, Hyunjin telling you that they would contact you by the next morning, Chan had turned to Changbin, the same stupid smile on his face.
âThat was great!â he nudged Changbin, the younger boy still recovering from the shock of the coincidence of it all, managing to muster a small huff in response.
âYeah,â Changbin reached over to grab his water bottle, prolonging his silence as he took a long sip, âI donât think weâd even need to see the rest.â
Chris scrunched his nose up, grinning, âbut you know we still will, of course. Just in case.â
Changbin sighed, glancing at the clock, agreeing with Chan even though he knew heâd already had his mind made up.
âYeah, just in case,â Changbin mumbled, looking out the window and seeing you talk to Minho, tearing his gaze away and rolling his shoulders back.
âOkay, send the next one in.â
===
To: Binnie
How are you?
Iâm okay. I like the picture you sent me of you using your scooter. My mom says you look nice. I think so too.
Today I went to the museum and I ate an ice cream for lunch. I donât have a picture of it but it was a Strawberry ice cream.
I just finished reading your letter. Sorry to say it using a bad word, but i think what your sister did was stupid. I think you should still tell her to ask for permission to use your scooter. But if she still does not listen, maybe you should tell her again. Because my mom always tells me that if I want something, I have to ask for it. So you should do that. Maybe she does not know you donât like it when she plays with your scooter. Or, you could buy a new scooter. Here is some money so you can buy a scooter. I drew you $50 because that is a lot of money. I hope you have a good day when you read this.
Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.
You werenât the worldâs kindest human alive, you had your petty moments. I mean, there were so many songs and literature and movies that highlighted that idea that no human was perfect, right? But you tried your best, surely.
So, youâd gladly complied when Hyunjin asked you to grab extra cups of coffee for Chan and Changbin (as reluctant as you were. You were strapped for cash as it was).
You figured that was the least you could do before the trouble you were about to cause the both of them. But hopefully, if office etiquette was anything to go by, the simple gesture would show that you were kind, and someone who appreciated the offer given to you, as much as you hated the superficiality of your character.
However, when you showed up at the room, you were reminded that Changbin wasnât just anyone. And while Chan made his appreciation known, Changbin⌠was the same as ever. Intimidating, and very hard to read. The sight of it almost made you want to take back his coffee.
He wasnât wearing a hat today. Instead, heâd let his blonde hair (which looked darker since the last time you saw him, or maybe it was just his dyed-black undercut) fall messily over his forehead in a slight side part.
His black shirt did nothing to hide his physique, every movement of his coming across as a subtle flex, making you have to remind yourself time and time again that you werenât exactly here to fawn over him.
He would lean back in his seat, scrolling through whatever he was looking at in his phone with one hand, his other hand draped over his stomach and propped underneath his elbow to support it. The way he would look made it seem as if he was almost oblivious to the world around him, only paying attention to what was on his phone until he would laugh at something Chan said, Chan being the only person youâve seen that managed to elicit seemingly uncharacteristic giggles from him.
Though it wasnât as if you were given much time to get used to it. The moment Chan had murmured something in his ear, his expression had switched back to âstrictly businessâ.
Chan straightened up, looking around the room with his eyebrows slightly raised in question, one hand adjusting the braided leather bracelet around his wrist
âSo, shall we get started then?â Chan asked, gesturing to Changbin before typing away at his laptop.
Changbin took his cue, getting up from his seat and making his way around the table to the front of the room, pulling the overhanging screen up to reveal the whiteboard.
âSo, first of all, weâve finalised the actors playing the characters,â he gestured towards you and Minho, âMinho as Soobin and Y/N as Penny. So, we can start shooting about next week. I would say weâre working with a pretty loose deadline because we donât have to submit it until a few months from now.â
Changbin rolled his shoulders back, his body language seeming fairly relaxed although his expression remained serious nonetheless, âbut that doesnât mean we should slack, obviously.â
His statement elicited a small groan from Hyunjin, who muttered a âfiguresâ under his breath, making you stifle your giggles for Changbinâs sake.
âBut we will start with maybe going over the script once through, go over the technical stuff after we get any issues with the flow out of the way.â
He looked as though he were going through a mental list of things to cover, his gaze flickering momentarily to Hyunjin, as if his face would give him answers to the invisible question in his head.
âThe people in charge of the props, have you started preparing the letters?â Chan stepped in, earning a shake of the head from the two girls sitting next to Hyunjin, making Changbin wave a hand dismissively in their direction.
âThey could start on that after we confirm the script,â Changbin leaned over the table to grab his cup of coffee, proceeding to take a long sip from it.
âAlright, letâs start then.â
Changbin took the empty seat he was standing next to, pulling his laptop closer to him to pull up the script.
Throughout the reading, you tried to keep your comments to yourself, you really did. It just fascinated you how fearful the team was of Changbin (well, aside from Chan), the way everyone seemed to bite their tongues or withhold their comments caused a permanent frown to be etched on your face.
It didnât make it any better that Minho seemed to have no problems with the script, not even when youâd occasionally leant over to whisper to him and ask if he found that part a little weird or a little abrupt. But you held your tongue for now, (and also because of the side glance Hyunjin would cast your way whenever you would let out a small sigh), Â you wanted to give Changbin the benefit of the doubt, figuring maybe if he read through his script again heâd realise how one-sided it was.
But thankfully, when you were reading out the lines where the two main characters had ended their date, and on a particularly high note for that matter, it seemed the opportunity to voice your concerns about the script was presented to you when Changbin had spoken up.
âOkay, since the next scene onwards will be where their relationship breaks down, any questions so far?â He asked, though his tone didnât sound like he was really asking for feedback. But, hey, an opportunity as an opportunity, wasnât it?
You cleared your throat a little too harshly, raising up your hand as you leaned against the table to be seen better, âuh, actually, me? I mean, I have some feedback actually.â
Changbin looked at you curiously, his gaze landing on you with slight surprise, as if he hadnât expected it to be you of all people. There was a slight hesitancy evident in the way he paused before giving you a short nod, prompting you to go ahead.
You smiled, ignoring the way Hyunjin had sighed deeply a few seats away from you, dreading the chaos that could have come with people like you and Changbin bumping heads.
âWell, itâs not really specific to this scene. Itâs kind of about the whole flow of the plot in generalâŚâ you fiddled with the corner of the page you were on, âbut I was thinking it would be better to show more of Pennyâs point of view? You know, because when I was reading it it just felt a little⌠weird for them to suddenly break up if everything seemed to be going fine.â
Changbin narrowed his eyes at you, looking back down at his computer with a simple dismissive shake of the head, âThatâs not necessary, theyâre going to break up anyway.â
The room had fallen silent, everybody seeming to have taken that as a âend of the conversationâ kind of line, already beginning to bring their attention to the next scene.
You frowned, unable to control your expression as you made your dismay obvious, casting a desperate look to Hyunjin who honestly looked as though he would pay you not to pursue this.
âBut thatâs not the point,â you spoke, getting Chanâs attention as he looked at you, silently urging you to continue, âyou wanted to show their relationship, right? So, shouldnât you show⌠both their parts in the relationship? Since itâs not like this is told in Soobinâs point of view.â
Changbin pursed his lips, âthe point is,â he brought his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing, âtheir relationship was superficial so it doesnât matter.â
You mirrored his expression. The way it sounded was that he was just trying to convince himself that it didnât matter.
Your frown deepened, quick to respond to him.
âThatâs the thing, if youâre so insistent on them breaking up, why donât you just make their relationship lead up to that? The way theyâre interacting up to this scene makes viewers think theyâre just going to end up together,â you tried to reason, hoping Changbin would understand where you were coming from.
Minho took that opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom, and as you gave the rest of the film club members a once-over, you hated the way they were all looking at you as if you were cussing Changbin out instead of just giving him constructive feedback, or just voicing your thoughts for that matter.
âWell, not everyone gets a happy ending, I guess.â
He was practically avoiding your message at this point, making you grow more frustrated.
âOkay, look, whatâs your intention behind making this film?â you asked, watching carefully as Changbin huffed, looking fairly amused at your insistence, which only served to irk you more.
âSimple,â he shrugged, âto show people like you that not everything that seems so perfect ends up perfect in the end.â
Your lips parted, scoffing, resisting the urge to get up from your seat as you heard Minho re-enter the room.
âPeople like me?â you echoed spitefully, âokay, fine, whatever. But as you said, if thatâs the point of your discourse, shouldnât your message be to tell people that they can work through things like this instead of just giving up and leaving like Penny did?â
Changbin was annoyed now. To him, you seemed too idealistic to understand his reasoning behind the story. He wondered why it had to be you that was telling him this, you were the only one that was trying to find problems with his story, that heâd based on his own life for that matter.
âWell what if she did, huh? What if Penny did just up and leave with no warning?â
You rolled your eyes, hearing Chan struggle to stifle his laugh, your exchange with Changbin being just about the most excitement he had in the whole school year.
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, âwhich is why I'm saying that your job as a storyteller is to shed some light on the reason behind that. Then your story wouldnât be about showing how things donât turn out the way they seem, it would just be telling you, but not showing you. You could just ask literally anybody to hurt Minhoââ
âSoobin,â you heard Minho correct from beside you, making you huff, scrunching your eyes shut tightly before opening them harshly.
ââYes, Soobinâs character, and it would be the same? The story wouldnât show me anything other than the fact that it was Soobinâs fault he ended up that way. He didnât question anything that happened, he just let it happen to him,â you sighed again, clenching your jaw, âPenny isnât anything other than some 2-dimensional plot device designed as an excuse for Soobin to sulk about how cruel love is.â
Changbin scrunched his nose up, his brows knitting in annoyance as he stared at you, a silence falling again in the room. Changbin was about to interject when Chan had decided that would be a good time to step in.
âCâmon guys, letâs⌠calm down a little. Weâre talking about penpals here, not the kingâs lover betraying him.â
You cast Chan a questioning look at his example, making him shrug, continuing, âweâre running a little overtime anyway, we can just continue discussing this another time.â
Just like that, the rest of the film club members seemed eager to leave, either rushing for their next class or just not wanting to be in the same environment as an irritable Changbin.
Chan directed his gaze towards you as you were getting up from your seat, slinging your bag over your shoulder.
âIâm sure Changbin will keep your points in mind, donât worry,â he reassured you just as Changbin chimed in with a âno, I wonâtâ behind him, leaving the room promptly afterwards, leaving you free to let out the frustrated groan you had been withholding.
âThanks, Chan. Sorry I kind of made you guys overrun your time,â you sighed, watching Hyunjin making his way to you with wide eyes.
Chan shook his head, holding his laptop securely in one arm as he let out a burst of giggles.
âNo, donât apologize! I should be thanking you, I didnât think about your point until you mentioned it just now,â he murmured, âbut again, sorry about Changbin. Heâs just a little⌠protective of his work.â
Hyunjin let out a low whistle from next to you, âExtremely.â
You nodded, shrugging, âItâs alright, I get it.â
Chan flashed you a smile, his hand reaching out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, âThanks, again. See you around.â
Leaving the room with Hyunjin, you ignored the way heâd begun to chuckle to himself, âhonestly, in this whole time iâve been in the film club, iâve never seen Changbin actually⌠argue with someone.â
You rolled your eyes, kicking at the stray pebble âwell if he continues like this, youâre gonna be seeing a lot more of it.â
âYou sure seemed like you were having fun, though, werenât you?â Hyunjin was being sarcastic, knowing he was just doing this to dissuade you, his tone eliciting a scoff from you. Â
You shook your head.
âYou know for a fact I wasnât. But it wouldnât sit right with me if I just kept my mouth shut like you and the rest of your film club goons,â you shot him a pointed glare.
Hyunjin pressed his lips into a firm line, holding his hands up beside his head in surrender, prompting you to continue.
âIf I want something done, Iâm gonna ask for it. Itâs as simple as that.â
===
To: my penpal Y/N
How are you?
Was your audition good? Thank you for the money. But $50 is a lot of money so I donât think I should spend everything, my mom says I need to save money. Thank you for telling me what I should do, but in the end I didnât buy another scooter. I did this because we were learning about needs vs wants in school and I think the scooter is a want. My teacher says this means I donât really need it. But needs are things like colour pencils and pens and paper so I can write letters to send you. Maybe your mom tells you you cannot buy so many stickers because the stickers are a want and not a need.
Anyway, I think I can just let my sister take my scooter. Maybe I will just get another scooter for myself when I am older and I have more money.
I hope I will be hearing from you soon, Binnie.
As you said before, you werenât perfect, but you surely did your best. But days like this you wondered if people like Changbin even tried.
After your interaction with said stubborn being during your meeting with the film club had put you in a bad mood, you were currently seated with Jisung in a booth at a popular burger outlet outside school, thankfully having managed to get a place in the midst of the anxious afternoon crowd. And even more thankful that you could eat your lunch in peace where you were very much away from Changbin.
âWhat did you say to him, again?â Jisung hadnât bothered trying to hold in his laughter as he was almost shouting over the noise of the crowd, making you huff as you bit into your burger.
âI said itâs funny that he was talking so much shit about the main couple when heâs dedicating his entire movie to them,â you drawled, your annoyance returning as you recounted the spat you had with him during the small meeting you had with the film club just before lunch.
Jisungâs shoulders shook as he laughed, fumbling with his drink as his eyes shut tightly, giggles leaving him and seeming as though they would never end, âand thatâs what you said word for word?â
You nodded, reaching over to press the lid of Jisungâs drink down firmer before he could spill it all over himself.
âI know youâre friends with him but I really donât know how you work with this guy, heâs as stubborn as stubborn goes,â you huffed, taking another bite into your burger as Jisungâs laughter had died down, though his smile had only lingered.
âYouâre worse,â he snickered, earning a glare from you.
Jisung remained unaffected, âLook, heâs honestly fine once you get to know him,â he tried to reason, sounding as though he were trying to convince a child to make friends, âI mean, weâre all still kind of wary around him when heâs in a mood but honestly, if not for the way you guys met, Iâm pretty sure you two would get along well. He seems like heâs your type.â
Your eyes widened, scandalised at Jisungâs implication. Â
âThe only thing he has in common with my exes is being annoying, okay?â you rushed to push away the curiosity of what Changbin would be like as a boyfriend. Curse Jisung and his stupid implication.
âAnd plus,â you continued, hearing the doorbell chime for what sounded like the thousandth time to signal yet another entry into the diner that was now overflowing with people asking for take-out, âitâs not like heâs been very nice to me since I got involved with his stupid short film.â
Jisung sighed, his gaze momentarily distracted by something behind you, making you wave your hand in front of his face to keep his attention. Heâd glanced back at you, an almost dazed look in his eyes before heâd given you a small smile, taking a bite out of his burger and not waiting to finish chewing before he answered you.
âI honestly think that he just needs a little more persuasion. Like, take this for example, something similar happened with him and Chan when they were composing something in the past, and trust me, if you donât give up now, iâm pretty sure heâd agree to come to a compromise or something,â he gave you a shrug, his gaze returning to whatever was behind you (probably someone cute, you figured). You couldnât say you blamed him; almost all your conversations revolved around you and Changbinâs squabbles these days.
You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him, âyou really think heâd be willing to rewrite his script?â
Your tone was skeptical, already imagining how Changbin would simply tell you to keep dreaming if youâd brought up the proposal to him.
At Jisungâs lack of response, youâd frowned slightly, seeing him turn back to you calmly as his smile widened, giving you yet another shrug.
âMaybe you can ask him yourself.â
If there was any feeling one would get just before something bad was about to happen, that was definitely what you were feeling now.
You didnât dare to tear your gaze away from Jisung as you watched him turn his body, his hand coming up in a wave that had only turned into a hi-five, his behaviour only adequately described as boisterous as he welcomed the people you were hoping you wouldnât have to see for another week until the next film club meeting.
Well, Chan was fine, you were simply referring to Changbin.
âOh, hey, Y/N! Didnât know you and Jisung were friends,â Chan gave you a sweet smile, gesturing between you and Jisung as he spoke.
Jisung chimed in with a nonchalant âBest friends, actually,â which had only made you shoot him a glare.
âMight have to re-evaluate that,â you muttered, turning back to Chan and Changbin to give them as warm a smile as you could muster.
âAre you guys eating here too?â you asked.
You were oblivious to the way Changbinâs gaze flickered from your face to the food in your hand, and then back to Jisung, looking perfectly unaffected as he joked with Jisung about something you didnât quite catch.
âWell, we wanted to, but, you know, with the crowd and all we probably wonât be able to get a seat,â Chanâs gaze was pitiful, to say the least, making Jisung raise his eyebrows, and that sinking feeling within you had only intensified as his next sentence left his lips.
Jisung had barely glanced at you as he held onto Changbinâs hand.
âWell, our boothâs actually meant to seat four people, so you guys could squeeze in if you want,â he offered.
Changbin quirked his eyebrow, skepticism written all over his features, though mostly directed towards you, âyou guys really wonât mind?â
You glared at your burger, scrunching your nose up as you avoided Changbinâs pointed gaze.
Jisung scoffed, giving Changbin a loud smack on the arm, âof course we wonât, right Y/N?â
He turned to you, giving you a smile you could only describe to be devious (and fairly amused).
âYeah,â your voice took a pitch higher unintentionally, âgo ahead,â you murmured, scooting into the booth to make space for them.
You took another bite from your burger, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin took a seat next to Jisung, Chan excusing himself to retrieve both their orders.
âFunny that you showed up, actually. Y/N and I were just talking about your short film,â Jisung spoke, earning a pointed glare for you, as if daring him to continue (and you shouldâve known that wasnât going to faze him at all).
âOh, were you?â Changbin drawled, his eyebrows raised and a slight smile playing at his lips, âIâm sure Y/N had a lot to say about that.â
As you were about to speak, Jisung had interjected with a little giggle, âshe did.â
Changbin didnât seem to take Jisungâs comment as an answer, simply keeping his gaze fixed on you, prompting you to produce an answer of your own. You ignored the knowing look Jisung gave you.
You sighed, âmaybe I wouldnât, if someone just took my suggestions.â
Changbin had let out a small huff at that, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded over his chest as Chan returned to the table with his and Changbinâs food, casting curious glances between the three of you seated at the table.
âHope you guys didnât fight while I was gone,â he joked, making you sigh, and you missed the pointed look he cast Changbinâs way when the boy had scoffed, âwhat were you guys talking about before I came?â
You shrugged.
âWe were talking about the short film,â you told him, âkind of.â
Chan had perked up at that, turning to you as he handed Changbin his food, âoh yeah, I wanted to ask if you had more feedback about the scenes.â
You nodded, âI do, actually.â
Changbinâs gaze lifted from his burger to look at you as he sighed, âwhat is it now?â
You huffed, âItâs not that bad. I was just wondering if the content of the letters were gonna be read out during the scene? âCause if it is, then maybe we could kind of make it a little more relevant to their personalities or something.â
âWill that be hard? What do kids even talk about in their letters?â Jisung laughed.
Changbinâs lips parted slightly before pressing them into a firm line.
âWell, theyâll be like 9 when theyâre exchanging letters, I suppose, so I guess theyâd at least know how to have a conversation⌠â He sounded almost hesitant, making you wonder why he made talking about childhood penpals seem like such a complex thing.
You thought about your own penpal, Binnie. You were about that age when you were exchanging letters with him too, figuring you could give some insight on that until Jisung had intercepted.
âAt that age all I did was talk about hot wheels, to be honest. Much less talk to girls,â he snorted, making you scoff, using your shoe to nudge his leg under the table.
Chan, who had been silently thinking, had straightened up abruptly.
âWait,â Chanâs eyebrows lowered, frowning slightly as his lower lip jut out in a slight pout. He directed his attention to Changbin, pointing his index finger towards him, âdidnât you used to have a penpal?â
You had to stop yourself from making your shock too obvious, your eyes widening as your gaze became nothing but accusatory. How badly did his penpal experience go for him to be so cynical about it now?
Whatever it was, the newfound information made you curious as to exactly how much of the story heâd changed, more importantly, how much heâd retained.
âYou?â you couldnât help yourself from blurting, though Changbin remained unamused.
âYeah, I did,â he bypassed your incredulous stare, answering Chan simply.
Jisung hummed, bringing one hand up to fiddle with his ear piercing, not having expected Changbinâs response.
âOh, well, what was it like, then?â
Changbin shrugged, resting one of his forearms on the table to support himself, his other hand reaching down to pick up a fry, âwas nice. We would exchange letters every week. Talked about a lot of things, sent each other pictures, you know, all that stuff.â
âDo you still keep in contact with them?â Chan asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, not having heard much from Changbin about this penpal in the entire duration of their friendship.
Changbin shook his head, ânope,â he popped the p, picking up his cup to swirl it around noisily, the ice rumbling as it got tossed around in the paper cup, proceeding to take a sip from it as the rest of you looked on curiously at him.
âWell, why not?â you dared to ask, a million different possible reasons running through your mind.
Maybe they did something to piss Changbin off, or maybe they got into a big fight (which also made you wonder how heated fights could get over snail mail), or maybe one of their parents disapproved of the other. The possibilities were endless as you anticipated just why 8 year old Changbin wouldâve cut ties with his penpal. And maybe, you were enjoying the dramatic aspect of it a little more than you shouldâve been.
But something about the way he replied felt restrained. Maybe you were reading into it too much, but he almost sounded evasive. But, of course, you chose to ignore (suppress) it for now, watching intently as Changbin had once again shrugged, an air of nonchalance to his gestures as he met your gaze.
âJust⌠grew out of it, I guess.â
You huffed, memories of your own penpal making his response sting.
You donât think you ever âgrew outâ of talking to binnie. You remembered how frustrated you were when youâd stopped hearing from him after he moved, and every letter youâd sent to his new address had only been returned back to you. Maybe he grew out of it, but you wouldnât have left it like that if you had a choice.
You rolled your eyes at his response, something in your response seeming to have irked Changbin.
âWhat?â he snapped, making you hesitate just the slightest bit, deciding to bite your tongue and shake your head.
âNothing.â Â
Chan let out a huff of laughter through his nose next to you, shaking his head at you goodnaturedly.
âForgive us, you always seem like you have something more to say,â Chan spoke, apparent âdamage controlâ for Changbinâs abrasiveness.
âWait, so, youâre really not gonna have a happy ending?â Jisung frowned.
âWell, Changbin and I were talking about it after the meeting that day, we figured since we have time we could afford to change the script a little,â he hummed, turning to you, âyou know, since it could be a chance to kind of send a more hopeful message like you were talking about.â
Your eyes widened, your hand almost reaching out to touch Chanâs arm but realising you were still holding your burger, âreally? Youâre open to changing it?â
Changbinâs gaze flickered momentarily to you, observing your posture, noticing how open and comfortable you seemed with Chan, the sight alone enough to make him scoff. Call him a cynic, but he couldnât tell if this was you acting or not just to get your way.
âThere could be another meeting for you to discuss and work on the script together, but yeah, weâre alright with changing it.â
You turned to Changbin, a hint of distrust in your stare, making him huff again, putting down his drink on the table with a little too much force.
âHe said it, not me,â he told you, pressing his lips firmly into a tight line, âyou wanna change my script so badly? Fine. But your ideas better be worth changing it for.â
Jisung scrunched up his nose as you turned back to Chan, not wishing to look at Changbinâs face any longer, leaning over to whisper to Changbin, âyou two donât like each other very much, do you?â
If he was caught off guard by Jisungâs statement, he didnât show it.
Changbin shrugged, picking his drink back up, âthey started it.â
At the sound of his accusation, your eyes narrowed, turning to glare at Changbin, thankful for Jisung nudging you under the table before you could retaliate with a comment of your own. Chan simply casting you an amused look, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of what you were about to do.
You shook your head.
Whatever, you pushed your annoyance away in your head, as long as Chan was there during the rewrite meeting, youâd hopefully still be able to maintain your sanity.
Or at least, that was the hope that you were holding on to until that night when youâd gotten a text from Chan.
Chan 11:17pm - hey, i gave changbin your number if you don't mind... you know, since you guys have to discuss to rewrite the script and all -
Youâd almost sat up from your bed in shock, frowning against the harsh light coming from your phone and the contents of the text, the latter obviously making you more disgruntled.
11:17pm - wonât you be discussing with us?? Why not just make a group chat??? -
Your heart was pumping with anxiousness as you awaited his reply, something about the sound of the clock ticking putting you in an even more anxious state, your heart almost sinking as texts from him and Changbin had come in at the same time.
You looked at Chanâs first.
Chan 11:18pm - oh i didnât tell you? All script writing is done by Changbin. Iâm just in charge of the other elements like props and directing and whatnot -
You shut your eyes, suddenly wishing you could travel back a few seconds back in time and not have checked your phone when Chan had texted you. Bringing your fingers across your screen reluctantly as you typed a reply to him.
11:18pm - ohhh hahaha right i forgot, thanks chan -
Now for the bigger menace at hand. You swiped over to Changbinâs message, your finger lingering on his chat as you decided to stop being petty and just open it.
seo changbin 11:18pm - just so you know, iâm doing this only because Chan asked me to. we can go over the changes at my house. is saturday okay with you? -
You pulled your notifications bar down. Tomorrow was Friday, and from what you knew you were pretty much free on Saturday. Fortunately or unfortunately for you.
You took another deep breath as you typed out your reply to him. For your own sanity, you tried to ignore the way he felt the need to clarify that he wasnât doing it for your sake.
11:18pm - saturdayâs fine. What time?-
Resisting the urge to go offline when you saw him come online, you felt as though you were in some sort of staring contest through your phone as you watched him type, his message coming in quickly.
seo changbin 11:18pm -1? We could order in and discuss -
You sighed, it wasnât enough that he had to take away one peaceful lunch from you today, but yet another one on Saturday.
11:19pm -okay text me your address-
Another sigh left you when you read that the address heâd sent you was just a few blocks away from your apartment. Maybe he lived alone too; most of the apartments here were occupied by college students looking for affordable rent and shorter travel time.
seo changbin 11:19pm - don't be late -
You scoffed, shoving your phone back onto your bedside table as you slumped back against your pillow, burying your head into your pillow and kicking at your blanket that covered your feet uncomfortably.
Fine, if he wanted to be that way, that was fine by you. You would just do this for the sake of the short film. Yeah. Thatâs all it would be.
===
âLetâs make this quick and painless for the both of us,â you blurted the moment Changbin had opened his door to let you in, glad to see he was donning an outfit similar to yours (sweatpants and a t-shirt), your previous worries of being underdressed dissipating instantly.
He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to run it through his hair, his hair messy and sticking up at one place awkwardly, looking as though heâd slept on that side for too long.
âHello to you too,â he grumbled, shutting the door behind you as he gestured to the living room.
You glanced around his rather plain apartment as he led you to the living room, his laptop resting on one of the cushions of the sofa, soft music verberating from the device.
âWhat food do you want?â he asked, earning a thoughtful frown from you as you set your things down on the floor next to the sofa, taking a seat on the other side of it.
âFastest delivery would be if we order from that Chinese food place nearby, right?â
Changbinâs eyebrows quirked up in intrigue, âI was thinking of that place too,â he handed you his phone, letting you order what you wanted before handing it back to him.
It was otherwise silent between the both of you as you waited for the food to arrive, neither of you quite knowing how to break the silence. The tension slowly made you grow increasingly fidgety as time passed.
Changbin had sat down on the floor next to the coffee table, resting one hand on his soft rug as he pushed a stack of papers towards you, drawing your attention away from your soft copy of the script on your phone as you realised it was a hard copy of the script.
âJust use this, iâve got a copy on my laptop,â he mumbled, making you nod, accepting it from him as you flipped to where you left off.
Changbin glanced at the clock, in disbelief that only 10 minutes had passed and yet he found himself feeling jittery at your silence. Turning his gaze towards you, he let out a small sigh.
He had expected you to say something by now, or let out some snarky comment about something he wrote. Your silence was unnerving him, it was almost as if he wanted you to say something, especially with the way you were scribbling notes beside the pages with a mechanical pencil he didnât even recall seeing you take out.
âWhich scene are you at?â he blurted, his anxiousness getting the better of him, making your head shoot up abruptly, surprised at his sudden outburst.
âUh,â you glanced back down at the page, âIâm at the part where they find out they used to be penpals,â you told him.
âOkay,â Changbin murmured, thinking about where to go from there, momentarily distracted when heâd heard the doorbell ring. Pausing, heâd stepped out momentarily to retrieve your food, the rustling of bags getting louder as he neared the table.
Setting the food down on the table, surprising you when heâd pushed the food towards you, your surprise hadnât gone unnoticed by Changbin.
âWhat?â he scoffed.
You shrugged, ânothing, just didnât know you were capable of doing nice things,â you told him, a sarcastic lilt to your tone.
Changbin inhaled deeply, shooting you a patronizing smile as he broke his chopsticks, âanyway, I think we could start from there, since thatâs kind of the turning point of their relationship.â
You nodded, pulling your food towards you as you began to eat.
âI was thinking,â you spoke, pausing to chew on your food, âthis part has a lot of unanswered questions, like⌠I wouldnât just let it go so easily if I found out someone was my penpal that I grew apart from. I felt like they shouldâve had a bit more of a confrontation there.â
Changbin hummed, shocking you when heâd leant closer to you to look at the script, making you push it towards him, a small huff leaving him at your action.
âWhat questions do you think Penny would ask, then?â he asked you.
âI donât know, maybe why they stopped talking in the first place?â there was a hint of sarcasm in your tone, making Changbin look at you over his mouthful of noodles.
âI told you already, Soobin grew out of itââ
You grimaced at his answer, your chopsticks halting before your mouth momentarily before you shovelled your noodles in with annoyance, âI donât believe that.â
âI used to have a penpal, and I can guarantee you, the reason why we stopped talking wasnât because we âgrew out of itâ,â you told him pointedly, having to stop yourself from growing too riled up about it, Changbin tensing up at your revelation.
Bringing his glass of water to his lips, he let his gaze wander around everything but you as he thought, curious as to what your penpal experience was like. Finally meeting your gaze, he almost sputtered over his water with how much he wasnât paying attention to his actions, the only thing on his mind being to get his words out.
âYou did?â It was pathetic, really, that that was all heâd come up with after such a long pause.
You nodded.
âYeah, but it doesnât matter, the story isnât based on my penpal, itâs based on yours,â you attempted to draw the attention away from you, unsettling feelings of sourness building within you at the thought of how you left things.
âSo, think. What would you be curious about?â you prompted him, seeing him purse his lips, a certain dazed look tinting his gaze.
Swallowing his mouthful of food, he looked at you as he thought. He would want to know if they were still passionate about acting, he would want to know how their family was doing, he would want to know if their personality had changed, if they were still the assertive âgo after what you wantâ character that had encouraged him so much. Or maybe, just how they are.
Changbinâs lips parted, shaking his head slowly, â... so many things,â he murmured.
An unexpected tension fell between the both of you, Changbinâs eyes meeting yours with a sort of unspeakable thoughtfulness, as if he was still thinking about your question.
You broke eye contact first, âwrite that, then. Who knows? Maybe theyâre both as curious as the other.â
âYouâre one of those glass half full people, arenât you?â he huffed, making you click your tongue in annoyance.
âAnd what? You have no glass at all?â you retorted.
âWould you still be⌠curious too? Even If it didnât end well?â he asked suddenly, a stupid question, Changbin thought, but still something he felt compelled to ask in the moment, as if he wanted the confirmation that you, someone with a penpal experience as well had shared the same sentiments as him.
You nodded, âof course Iâd be. I could hate you and still be curious about you,â you shrugged.
âMe?â Changbin asked, making your eyes widen, the tension dissipating slightly as you shook your head vigorously, your hands coming up to wave at him dismissively.
âNo no, not you. I meant-â you stopped yourself, glaring at him, âI just meant it as an example.â
And for what you were sure was the first time, Changbin had laughed, beginning to feel a bit more comfortable around you, his eyes forming narrow slits and the apples of his cheeks rounding slightly as he grinned, soft breathy giggles leaving him.
âAlright, I get it. Itâs not a secret that you donât like me.â
You huffed, not being able to help but feel the need to reassure him, âyouâre not⌠that bad I guess. Jisung talks you up all the time.â you said, unsure why you felt the need to reassure him that you didnât have a burning hatred for him, âyouâre just stubborn as hell.â
He scoffed, âI could say the same about you.â
You quirked an eyebrow at him, reaching over to flip the page, âglad to know weâre on the same page, then.â
âNow that you said it,â Changbin began, moving on quickly from your bickering as he shoved his empty food packaging aside, âI do think Soobin would be curious about the things they talked about in their letters.â
You perked up at that, eyebrows raising, âThat reminded me, I actually still have some of the letters from my penpal when we were younger, if you want I can loan them to you for some inspiration or something.â
Changbin nodded, flipping over to another page before pausing to type something on his computer, âyeah, actually that would be useful.â
You continued to look at the script for what had become hours, the both of you deciding it would be easier if you each assumed one of the characterâs voices, speaking on behalf of the characters as you discussed. Coming up with a âwhat would soobin/penny do?â process.
All the while during this discussion, Changbin had been scribbling down in his beaten up journal, the sides of the spine of the book peeling off when heâd set it down on the table, making you grimace.
âDo you think Peââ
âWhy donât you just get a new journal? This oneâs making such a mess,â you blurted out, frowning at the way the little brittle pieces of God knows what material covered his notebook had fallen onto the coffee table, making him tear his gaze away from what he was writing, looking at the mess on the coffee table you were gesturing at and letting out an amused huff.
âOh, didnât notice,â he smiled, âbut that wonât be necessary, this journalâs been serving me fine.â
âItâs literally falling apart,â you pointed out.
âAnd youâre literally exaggerating.â
You scoffed.
âI mean, look at it, itâs such a hassle to use, since you have to keep cleaning up whenever you do so much as touch it,â you reasoned, seeing him shake his head.
âI donât need a new journal, Iâm perfectly fine using this one,â he told you, making you scrunch your nose up in distaste, Changbin looking at you with amusement heavily laden in his smile.
It seemed that there was something about the hours of bouncing off ideas and bickering that warmed the both of you up more, not feeling as wound up or hostile towards each other as you did a few hours ago, bonding over a shared want for the short film to be good.
âWhat?â he asked, leaning back against the sofa and resting his arm on one of the cushions, his other hand grasping his fingers as he awaited your response.
âYou sound exactly like my mom,â you had a sour look on your face, continuing, âI bet youâre one of those needs versus wants people.â You huffed in amusement, shifting in your seat as you flipped through the scene you were about to discuss.
Changbinâs lips parted in shock, a breathy huff leaving him, âand whatâs that supposed to mean?â
You shrugged, âYou know, those people that decide on buying things through the concept of needing it or not.â
Changbin rolled his eyes, âyeah, like any other normal person.â
âItâs so boring! Ever heard of the concept of treating yourself?â you huffed, gesturing wildly. You were clearly very passionate about this.
Changbin shook his head, the smile lingering on his face, âIâm starting to understand why youâre Jisungâs friend. Sure, a treat once in a while is understandable, but iâd rather not waste my money on things I could do without.â
You huffed, a deep sigh leaving you, recalling a conversation you had with Binnie about his scooter.
âWhatâs up with boys and this need versus want thing? My penpal said the same thing even though he was only eight,â you mumbled, a small breath of laughter leaving your lips, leaving Changbin frowning at your statement.
Maybe other kids just talked about the same things he did with Y/N? He brushed the thought aside.
âHe did?â
Changbinâs voice came out more hoarse than heâd intended, the intent in his stare making you falter momentarily, forgetting what you were doing just for a second.
Thankfully, youâd snapped out of whatever trance you were in, shaking your head dismissively, ânothing, it doesnât matter.â
Changbin tilted his head at you, narrowing his eyes as he contemplated whether to pursue it or not, watching closely as you busied yourself with flipping pages just to look busy, even though the inside of your mind was spinning with an indescribable feeling that came with convincing yourself that the drift between you and your penpal was merely circumstantial.
You chewed on your lip, hating the way it felt as though your stomach was churning as you remembered the disappointment you felt when your letters had stopped getting sent through.
You were young, surely you shouldnât blame yourself, you believed that. Your finger fiddled with the corner of the page, staring at Soobinâs dialogue.
âDid our conversations even mean anything to you?â the dialogue read, and you inhaled deeply as your head lifted to look at Changbin, your abrupt movement almost making him flinch in surprise.
âWhy did you really stop talking to your penpal?â you sighed, curiosity getting the better of you. Though at this point you werenât sure if it was curiosity or simply reassurance. Maybe even closure. All of which you needed to satisfy.
Changbin knew you werenât going to accept his âgrew out of itâ statement for an answer, deciding to be honest with you, you know, for the sake of the short film.
âI just⌠stopped hearing from them,â he began, heaving a sigh of his own as he shifted in his seat, picking at the imaginary dust on his sweatpants, âguess they had nothing to say.â
You couldnât lie about it, you felt relieved. A part of you began to understand why heâd painted Pennyâs character out to be like that, or furthermore why Soobin had seemed so affected by the revelation.
âNothing to sayâŚâ you echoed, as if trying to wrap your head around his reasoning as well.
A small huff of amusement left him, though there was a hint of bitterness in his smile.
âI wouldnât have minded, you know.â
He took his lower lip between his teeth, letting it go and you watched as the blood rushed back into his lips, looking redder than before.
Your eyebrows knit into a frown, âWouldnât have minded what?â
Changbin met your gaze, giving you a resigned shrug, âhearing it,â he continued, ânothing, everything.â
You could almost feel your heartbeat slowing down, the tense silence returning in the room and making you feel like you couldnât breathe. Now that was some dialogue.
âOh,â you broke the silence, your blank expression reading pure shock, your reaction catching Changbin off guard, âwrite that down, thatâs such a Soobin thing to say.â
Changbin couldnât do anything but laugh, shaking his head at you, âhow opportunistic of you,â he teased, though he wrote it down nonetheless.
Maybe you being here was good, Changbin thought, it reminded him not to take himself too seriously sometimes.
===
To: Binnie
How are you?
I hope you are not still sad about your friends. I would tell you not to listen to them but i know thatâs difficult sometimes because you can hear everything they say. But they were being very mean so they are not nice people. I donât agree with what they said, because i think you are very nice and you have a nice smile. I donât think you are scary. Sometimes my mom tells me i should smile more so people think iâm happy but I think you should just smile if you are happy. If you are sad then you can be sad. It is not a bad thing. Iâm your friend because youâre nice to me and I like talking to you. If theyâre going to be mean to you then theyâre not your friends. If they do that to you again you can tell me their address and I will go and tell them myself!
Till next time, Your penpal Y/N
Youâd shown up on the filming set on the first day absolutely buzzing from head to toe and ready to go (though, when you told Jisung about how you felt heâd insisted it was because of the lack of substantial sleep and the cans of energy drink youâd both drank the night before while he was helping you prepare your lines), but it seemed that everyone on the set was more tense than ever.
You found Hyunjin huddled with a few of them next to the sound cart, deciding to approach them to ask where Changbin was, having bought a coffee for him along the way.
âHey,â you called, Hyunjin jumping in shock as he turned, his hand over his heart as he winced at you.
âWhy do you move so quietly!â he groaned, making you dismiss him with a wave.Â
âDid something happen? You guys look stressed,â you took a step towards them, possible reasons fluttering around in your mind but none seeming quite appropriate for the context you were in. Maybe the semesterâs GPA results were out?
âWhatever, do you guys know where I can find Changbin?â The boy next to Hyunjin, a freshman by the name of Jeongin had sucked in a sharp breath at your question, making you grow even more confused.
âHeâs⌠a little tense these days, so Iâd suggest being a more careful around him,â Chan explained, earning nods of agreement from the film club members.
Your eyebrows raised, confusion showing in a slight pout on your lips. You didnât remember him behaving out of the ordinary when youâd seen him the day before.
âWhereâd he go?â
âHeâs over there,â Chan pointed towards where the camera was set up and true enough, you saw Changbin seated at a bench there busying himself with his phone.
Nodding, youâd made your way over to Changbin, discomfort growing within you at the stares you were getting from the club members (some of which you didnât even know the names of) as you made your way towards the blonde haired boy. It was a wonder why they all avoided him like the plague.
Changbin seemed to have sensed your presence, looking up from his phone and giving you a small wave as you reached the bench, sitting down next to him and holding out his cup of coffee.
Accepting it gratefully, heâd given you a nod.
âThanks,â he glanced at your hands, âyou didnât get one for yourself?â
You let out a small burst of chuckles, ânope, figured it wasnât the most logical thing to do since iâm already pretty alert from last nightâs energy drinks.â
Changbin sucked in a sharp breath, clicking his tongue in teasing disapproval, âI figured as much, Jisung was way too hyper when I met him at the studio.â
Your expression was sheepish, âIâd say I was sorry but it was... important.â
Changbin huffed, âItâs alright, as long as youâre taking care of yourself.â
Before you could react to his statement, Changbin had acted as though he hadnât said anything, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tore his gaze away from you, looking forward as he took a sip from his cup, âready to film today?â
You nodded, regaining your bearings, trying not to think too much of his words.
âPretty much, you?â
Changbin nodded, âyeah, even though we still have a little bit of the script left, I would say iâm pretty confident.â
You glanced behind Changbin, spotting Hyunjin looking at the both of you with sheer disbelief, making you roll your eyes, turning back to Changbin, angling your body on the bench so you could hug your knees to your chest, looking at him curiously.
âAre you feeling okay?â
He nodded, looking at you with confusion written in his features, clasping his hands around his coffee cup as he rested his hands on his lap, âyeah, why wouldnât I be?â Â
Maybe it was just his resting bitch face.
âSmile,â you commanded, nodding your head when heâd looked even more confused.
You watched in amusement as Changbin had laughed, shaking his head before looking at you with an all too sarcastic smile, his hand coming up in a peace sign next to his cheek, a smile unknowingly making its way onto your face at the sight.
âOkay now, donât smile,â you continued.
Changbin had let his smile fall, looking just the same as he did when youâd shown up, making you press your lips into a firm line, a slight knit in your brows as your eyes narrowed.
Turning his head, he straightened up.
âCool, Minhoâs here,â he said, getting up and holding a hand out to help you up.
âThanks,â you muttered, not expecting him to turn around and give you a smile.
âLetâs go, Penny.â
It was strange to you that there was something that felt so familiar about his smile, it reminded you of something that made you feel nostalgic. You liked seeing him smile. Changbin had a nice smile.
You brushed the thought away, nodding as you took his hand, letting him help you out.
âWhat, so you guys donât hate each other anymore?â Jisung groaned later on that same week when youâd told him about the exchange you had.
He lifted his head from where he lay on your bed, âGod, with you guys itâs like everydayâs something different.â
You quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, âwell⌠thatâs because it is, isnât it?â
You spotted the box of letters from your childhood penpal hidden beneath a stack of novels you had yet to unpack, your eyes glistening with triumph as you reached into your storage closet, fishing it out with a grunt.
âCome to think of it, Changbin hasnât said anything about you since that day you met him to rewrite the script,â he murmured thoughtfully.
Heaving a sigh as you got up from your squat, you closed your closet, âwhich day? We met up a few times for the script.â
Jisung perked up at that, sitting up slightly and supporting his weight with his elbows.
âYou did? Why am I only finding out about this now?â he scoffed.
You rolled your eyes, walking over to your desk to set the box onto it, âI told you about it, you just forgot.â
Making your way over to the bed, you flopped down onto your belly next to Jisung, looking at him curiously as he frowned at you. His mention of Changbin had made you curious.
âHe⌠really hasnât said anything about me?â you dared to ask, regretting it almost immediately when Jisung had taken the opportunity to twist your words.
Jisungâs expression had changed to one that you were all too used to, how his eyes would give away that he was thinking of saying something to tease you, his lips curving into a slight smirk.
âWhy? Do you want him to be talking about you?â
You wrinkled your nose, a small panicked scoff leaving you, âyeah, right. Donât get too carried away there.â
Jisung prodded further, leaning closer to you as he drawled, âwell, why not? I mean, you said it yourself, you guys are on pretty good terms now, arenât you?â
You purse your lips. The film club had been nice enough to give you a month longer to work on the script, you and Changbin ending up getting carried away and doing the whole thing over. And of course, within that month, you interacted with Changbin in some way or another almost everyday.
It could be meetings at his or your apartment, or spontaneous phone calls when one of you thought of an idea and youâd felt inspired to discuss it (even if you were on your bed tucked into your sheets when it happened most of the time), sometimes it was even just simple texts checking up on each other and asking what the other thought about the updates.
Nonetheless, youâd grown used to Changbinâs presence, finding that after that meeting at his house, it was like it had softened the both of you up to each other, especially when you realised your perception of Changbin was all wrong and that really, he was as soft as softies go.
You gave Jisung a shrug, tugging the neckline of your shirt down, feeling as though the room had gotten hotter, âI mean, yeah, I guess. He doesnât annoy me as much as he used to.â
Jisung let out a chuckle, the laugh bubbling out louder as he continued.
âYou know if you tell me you like him now, Â I wonât make fun of you.â
âYouâre lying.â
âSo, you do like him?â His grin widened, making you sputter for a better response, figuring youâd dug your own grave with that one.
âDonât stir shit,â you narrowed your eyes at him.
Your reaction had only tickled him even more, clutching his belly as he sighed, âI knew it. Remember? I told you he was your type!â his tone was triumphant, making you regret fuelling his suspicions.
âYeah, Iâm sure youâre very happy about that,â you huffed, turning away from him and burying your face in your soft sheets, your hand coming up next to your head to smooth over the fabric.
You felt Jisungâs hand on your arm, his expression grim.
âWait, so am I really right? You like him?â
You shrugged his hand away, though he hadnât budged, giving up soon after.
âI mean,â you enjoyed your last moment of peace before you decided to reply to him, âheâs cute, I wonât deny that. And heâs become a lot nicer to me⌠heâs fun to talk to? Iâd be lying if I said I wasnât a little attracted to him.â
Jisung snickered, âthatâs cute, but gross. I canât believe you like Changbin.â
Trust him to only get that out of whatever youâd just told him.
You turned to give him a wide-eyed look of disbelief, âoh, please, you were the one that kept fluffing him up to me!â
Jisung had simply shrugged, unfazed by your outburst, a small sound of hesitation leaving him.
âI would say I did a minimal amount of fluffing. I just called it before the both of you realised.â
You grit your teeth, âfine, enjoy your moment. But one word about it to Changbin and youâre dead. Got it?â
Jisungâs eyes widened, his hand coming up to mimic zipping up his lips.
âGot it.â
===
âCut!â
You turned to cast a desperate look to Chan, the said boy looking apologetic as he called for a stop again. You watched as he leant down for Changbin to murmur something in his ear, Chan nodding before making his way over to you and Minho.
âWeâre thinking maybe you could try that scene again but maybe with just a little more⌠in the moment? Maybe try not to rush through it,â Chan suggested to Minho, making the said boy groan.
âSorry, itâs my fault. Itâs just- weâve been filming for hours, if I wasnât so scared of Changbin I wouldâveââ
âI know,â Chan reassured Minho, giving the both of you a small smile, âhopefully we can get this scene done quickly and then weâll all be free to go, hmm?â
You nodded, letting Chan make his way back to where the monitor was as you got back into position with Minho.
Changbin watched intently as you and Minho acted out the scene again, something about the way Minho was delivering his lines seeming so unaligned with the picture Changbin had in his head. Was it the lines that weren't doing it for him? Was it because Changbin couldnât quite tap into the emotions of the character in this scene?
He wasnât sure what exactly it would look or sound like to be in love, but whatever âSoobinâ was showing, sure wasnât what Changbin wanted it to be.
After youâd finished the scene, the film club members had waited anxiously for Changbinâs greenlight on whether they were free to go, all of them anxiously looking on as Chan went to talk to a few of them at props.
You taken the liberty of making your way over to where Changbin was, seeing him intently monitoring the scene that youâd just shot, the reason behind why heâd made you and Minho run through the same scene 15 times starting to become clear to you.
âThatâs not gonna help you make it better, you know?â you spoke, shoving your hands into your pocket and scrunching your eyes shut as you braced against the cool wind that was blowing your way, the trees rustling loudly as Changbinâs head shot up, the frown remaining on his face.
âWhat?â Changbin figured he came off as a little too annoyed, but he stayed unwavering nonetheless, wanting to know just what you thought you knew about him.
âYou know, I watched an interview once, and this actor said something that was so true,â you began, taking a seat next to him, feeling his gaze on you before you continued, your gaze falling on the image of you and Minho on the monitor, âhe said that playback makes scenes seem a lot more dissatisfactory.â
Changbinâs frown deepened, âI donât get it, just spit it out.â
You rolled your eyes, though you couldnât help but smile, âIâm trying to give you advice here, okay? As I was saying, be in the moment. Not everythingâs gonna turn out like how it is in your head.â
You inhaled deeply, a slight shiver running down your spine at how cold you felt, taking a hand out of your pocket to tap him on the arm.
âNow can you wrap it up and call it a day? The rest of them have been dying to go home but theyâre too scared to tell you.â
Changbin hummed, âThey are? Why?â
You nodded, seeing Changbin already making to stand up and call for the restâs attention, with you taking the opportunity to lean over to him and mutter, âDunno, maybe they just havenât figured out what a softie you are yet.â
Changbin attempted to press his lips together firmly to contain his smile, though eventually giving up and letting the soft smile be shown on his face as he dismissed the club members, the rest of them already having started shifting their equipment back.
Youâd decided to help them shift the equipment while Changbin talked to Chan about something, trying your best to ignore the way the weather seemed to be getting chillier as all the equipment had started feeling cold to the touch. Mental note to start wearing warmer clothes out after today.
âThanks for convincing Changbin to free us,â Hyunjin sighed when you were coming down the stairs after locking the club room, making you huff.
âHeâs not some dictator, you know. You guys could just ask him next time,â you reasoned.
Hyunjin scoffed, âIâd much rather keep my life, thank you very much.â
Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your phone as you thought whether to text Jisung if heâd wanted to meet for dinner.
âYouâre so dramatic,â you told Hyunjin, âI told him and I got to keep my life.â
Hyunjin scoffed, âthatâs cause heââ
He stopped himself abruptly, eyes widening for a split second before he shrugged, âthatâs cause you fight with him all the time, itâs different.â
You saw a text come in.
Changbin 8:14pm - do u wanna go get dinner? Iâm done talking to Chan -
âSpeak of the devil,â you murmured, erasing your drafted text to Jisung and replying to Changbin to say that you would wait at the quad.
Changbin 8:14pm - i was thinking of eating some cold noodles -
You grimaced at the thought, Hyunjin pulling you out of your thoughts, âare you waiting for Changbin?â
You nodded, sensing his hesitancy to let you wait there alone, âyou go ahead, Iâll be fine, heâs already on his way.â
Hyunjin frowned, turning to see Changbin from afar already making his way over, Changbin having spotted the both of you and given Hyunjin a wave.
Waving back, Hyunjin nodded, âalright, Iâll see you.â
Tugging your jacket tighter around yourself, you folded your arms, hoping Changbin would hurry up so you could finally go somewhere with heating.
Though once heâd met up with you, you were a little confused when heâd gone a completely different direction than youâd expected, leading you to a traditional restaurant that served mainly soups and broths instead.
Donât get me wrong, you were thankful for the warmth of the restaurant, of course, but just a little confused about why he changed his mind.
You let him order for the both of you, looking curiously from where you were seated facing him, leaning back in the wooden chairs as Changbin ordered from the older lady running the shop.
âI thought you wanted to eat cold noodles?â you scanned the menu in search of the item, confusion increasing when you found nothing of the sort.
Changbin shook his head, âfigured you might wanna eat something warmer,â he admitted, making your lips part in surprise.
âHowâd you know?â
Changbin didnât know how to explain that it was because heâd kept looking at you during shooting and he didnât miss the way your hands would clench and unclench the fabric of your clothes, or how youâd fold your arms more and shake them out in between takes when you thought no one was looking.
â⌠ just a wild guess.â
You brushed his comment aside, the both of you talking about your upcoming classes or complaining about readings that had yet to be read, the sheer boiling temperature of the stone pot making heat rush to your cheeks and spread through your body, thankful for Changbinâs wild guess.
Leaning back in your seat with your hands over your stomach, you sighed at how full you were feeling, already anticipating your food coma as you let yourself zone out staring at the label of Changbinâs bottle of soju.
âAre they really scared of me?â
Youâd dragged yourself out of your daze (reluctantly), your lips pursing, âsorry, what did you say?â
Changbin averted his gaze, fiddling with his fingers under the table. Smoothing his thumb over the soft skin at his palm, his tongue poking at his canines before he looked back at you, meeting your gaze with a certain determination.
âThe film club people,â he repeated, âare they really scared of me?â
You shrugged, âyeah, I guess. Like, they talked about it before⌠I guess itâs because you have that serious expression on a lot so they might take it the wrong way.â
Observing his expression, his lips had parted, a blank expression on his face, âI have a serious expression?â
You couldnât help but laugh, tilting your head at him, âI think Itâs just your resting face. Theyâre kind of wary of how they act around you during meetings, you know, which is why they had that kind of reaction when I first spoke up about the script.â
Changbin let his grip around his spoon relax, whatever rice heâd scooped into it dispersing into the soup.
âThen why arenât you scared?â Â
You almost snorted with how immediate your laughter had bubbled out of you, a bout of chuckles leaving you as your shoulders shook lightly.
âBecause,â you waved your spoon slightly, âthereâs nothing to be scared of.â
Changbinâs blank expression had prompted you to continue.
âI have no problem with you being assertive about what you want,â you explained, âI mean, if it were my script, iâd probably be equally, if not more, assertive about how I want it. But thatâs a good thing about you. You donât just⌠shut up if something doesnât sit right with you. Thatâs something Iâve always thought was really important.â
Call him crazy, but Changbin couldnât adequately describe how your words had done more in spreading a giddy warmth in his chest than the food ever could.
He wasnât always like this. If anything, heâd wanted to say that heâd pushed himself to be more assertive after countless conversations with his penpal about not being afraid to speak up for what you want.
Though heâd always been scared of whether heâd be doing a disservice to the people he worked with if he chose not to speak up, he was glad that you reminded him just why he started doing it in the first place.
Pennyâs character in his head had started to look more and more like you. And he was glad.
âYou wanna hear something crazy?â You blurted.
You didnât know where you were going with this. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, really. You just knew that saying what you said to him had triggered a sense of what you could only describe as love within you. If you knew anything about it.
âWhat?â he asked, the smile on his face making you stop in your tracks. How could he remind you so much of someone, yet seem so much like a mature, upgraded version of them at the same time?
You couldnât possibly tell him that you were starting to be kind of glad that you didnât meet Binnie, because you felt like you were looking at him right now. And childhood penpal or not, you were so much more smitten with the one sitting before you.
âNothing,â you breathed, ânothing, sorry, forget I said anything.â
Your revelation reminded you that youâd brought your old letters from Binnie for Changbin to tap on for inspiration to write the last scene, shutting your mouth and turning to fish the box out of your bag.
âI just remembered, you asked for these right?â you pushed the box towards him, seeing him pick up the box gingerly (as though it were that brittle old notebook he uses), placing it into his bag.
âIâm assuming theyâre the letters from your old penpal?â
You nodded, âbut donât laugh when you read them, okay? He was really nice to me.â
Changbin huffed, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, âyeah, yeah, no promises.â
After you were done with your dinner (Changbin paying for it as a supposed âthank youâ for being patient during filming), youâd prepared yourself to fight against the cold night breeze as you stepped out of the restaurant before Changbin, not having expected to feel a warm weight being draped over your shoulders.
âI donât know why you decided to come out without a coat when you know nowâs usually when the weather gets colder,â he tutted his tongue, feigning disapproval, not giving you any time to be shocked at his gesture.
He stood in front of you, tugging the coat tighter around you as he met your gaze, giving you a tired smile.
âIâll walk you back to your apartment.â
You bit down on your lip, your racing heart and panic making the best reply you could come up with to be a mere, âdidnât peg you to be so gentlemanly.â
To which Changbin shrugged, a small smirk playing at his lips.
âI can be pretty romantic if I want.â
You were gonna get whiplash at this rate.
That same night (or day, 3am was a fine line), youâd received an email from Changbin of the last scene for the film, reading through it and having to stop in between for breaths and water breaks because you had no idea Changbin was capable of encompassing such romantic sentiments in a scene.
Looking at what he wrote, you would never have thought he was the same person that kept arguing with you about happy endings going to shit.
Changbin had written the scene in a burst of inspiration, having felt an almost uncomfortably foreign giddiness within him after returning home from your dinner, feeling even more motivated when heâd watched the film footage theyâd shot earlier that day (unconsciously rewinding more than once to watch you act) deciding to just go with whatever he was feeling and write down the scene he had in mind.
And if anyone was asking, no, he totally didnât picture you as Penny and himself as Soobin the entire time while doing so.
By the time you were done, it was almost an hour later, the aftermath of reading his scene making you pick your phone up and send him a text.
4:02am - did something happen? Whatâs with the lovey dovey script? Did someone finally change their mind about Penny? -
Not long after, Changbinâs reply came in, feeling thankful that heâd only decided to open your box of letters, or more accurately his letters, after he was done with the scene, something about what he found putting him in an all too thoughtful mood.
Changbin 4:04am -letâs just say... i took your advice-
===
âWhat do you think, Changbin?â Chanâs voice had snapped Changbin out of his daze, the latter looking at Jisung with a shrug.
âI would say youâre just short changing yourself if you didnât talk to her. I mean, you said you liked her, right? So what are you waiting for?â Changbin sounded almost impatient, his tone eliciting a grunt from Jisung.
âYeah, you say it like youâre not the one hiding your hopeless crush on Y/N.â
Chanâs eyes widened, not having expected Jisung to say it so blatantly.
Changbin sputtered, looking at Chan for help only to be met with giggles.
âIâm sorry, dude, it was really quite easy to tell.â
Changbin wanted the cushioned booth to swallow him whole, scrunching his eyes tightly shut in a wince.
âWhatever, thatâs not the point,â he waved Jisung off dismissively, âweâre talking about your love life here.â
Jisung pursed his lips, shaking his head, âitâs not fun anymore, I wanna talk about yours.â
Changbin glared at Jisung, âiâm not having this conversation with you.â
âGood, âcause you should be having it with Y/N.â
Chan raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, humming in suspicion.
âWhy do you sound like you know things...â
Jisung shrugged, raising his hands to give a dramatic shrug, âDo I? I guess weâll never find out since Changbin âisnât gonna have this conversation with meâ.â
Chan turned to Changbin, who currently looked as though he would rather die than be here right now, âactually, what are you waiting for?â
Changbin brought a hand up to massage his fingers on his temples, a resigned sigh leaving him.
âI donât know, Iâll probably not do anything until the showcase. I still donât know how exactly I wanna go about it.â
Jisung snickered, âyouâll be fine, seriously.â
âYeah, whatever, Iâll just enjoy whatever time I have left to think about it till the showcase. Now back to your issue⌠â
But obviously, Changbin didnât use his 3 days of buffer time very well.
He was lucky the atmosphere of the showcase and the unexpected crowd of people had prolonged the time until heâd be in a situation where heâd feel compelled to talk to you about it. Whatever it was.
You hadnât noticed, obviously, the way Changbin had been keeping himself busy talking to guests and teachers that had shown up, people from the media and publications club. You were too busy being whisked away by your own friends and a already slightly tipsy Minho who thought it was a good idea to pregame drinks before the afterparty later on.
Itâd only been when things started calming down and people were actually watching the film that youâd been put in a position where you had no choice other than to think about the boy seated in front of you tapping his foot incessantly on the carpeted floor of the auditorium.
Once the show was over, youâd leant forward, about to congratulate him when youâd both been whisked up by one of the teachers-in-charge, pulling you together with Minho onto the stage to answer questions from the audience.
The questions were fairly simple, most of them from the media and publications club trying to get technical details for their article, allowing you to zone out from where you stood on the stage, letting Changbin smoothly answer all the questions they could possibly throw at him. It wasnât like Minho was in any position to answer them, tipsy and zoned out of his mind.
It was only when youâd heard him fumbling around with his words that you looked up from the spot on the wall you were staring at, turning to look at Changbin with an embarrassing amount of concern on your features.
âIâm sorry can you repeat the question?â youâd spoken into the microphone, hearing someone that sounded almost identical to Jisung asking how he got inspiration from the story.
You looked at Changbin curiously, as if silently asking if he needed you to step in, only to have him look at you with a blank expression, his mouth opening and closing as he fumbled for an answer.
âOh, well, Iâm sure I can answer this on behalf of Changbin,â you began, âweâd worked on the script together, and it was inspired by a lot of things, like our experiences with pen pals as well as movies like âyouâve got mailâ.â
Changbinâs shoulders slumped with relief, nodding towards you as a silent thanks, the moment cut short when you were once again whisked away into different crowds to take pictures or to carpool to the afterparty.
Though you were bored 10 minutes into the party, Minho having gotten drunk before you could even get past your second drink, youâd let Changbin have his fun. You figured it was a good thing that he was being recognized for his efforts, even if he didnât look like he was enjoying the attention very much. He needed it, you supposed, to be forced to see how much people enjoyed the work he made.
But you didnât stay to see it too long, adjourning to the porch of whoeverâs house you were in to enjoy an environment away from the loud music and too many people you didnât know.
âAlready bored?â
Youâd jumped at the sound of Changbinâs voice, his footsteps loud against the wooden porch as he took a seat next to you on the swing, holding out his bottle of soda to you, âdo you want some?â
You shook your head, seeing him shrug, âsuit yourself, then.â He took a long sip of his soda, sighing afterwards. Â
A tired smile on your face, you let out a deep sigh, âdidnât expect you to find me here so quickly.â
âHow could I not?â he laughed, shaking his head, âIn case you didnât notice, I was suffocating in there, figured I deserve a break.â
âGood job, though, Iâd say you handled everything wellâŚâ you started, your smile growing, â... though there is one thing⌠ I didnât think you were the type to struggle with public speaking.â
Changbinâs lips parted in shock, scoffing, âshut up, I donât usually.â
âSure, you donât,â you teased, bringing your hands to your sides to support your weight, letting your legs lift off the ground as Changbin used his feet to move the swing gently.
You leant back in your seat, enjoying the silence you were able to get out here as compared to the chaos going on within the house, noticing how tense Changbin seemed, his posture anything but relaxed as heâd let out sigh after sigh, tapping his rings against the seat of the bench absently.
âRelax,â you chuckled, âitâs already over.â
Doing the opposite of relaxing, Changbin simply stopped moving the swing, angling his body to face you more as he fished in his blazer pocket for something, pulling out an envelope from his jacket, âI have uh⌠something for you.â
Holding it out for you to take, your gaze fell on the colourful envelope, the little strawberry stickers you remembered using your savings to buy as you frowned at the address written on the envelope in your old messy âprincess handwritingâ.
Your gaze darted from the envelope back to him, âhow did you⌠how do you have this?â
âI have it,â he began, letting out yet another sigh, âbecause you sent it to me.â
If it could, your heart wouldâve stopped in that exact moment.
âRead it,â he prompted when youâd stayed silent, your hands moving urgently to open the envelope, your heart feeling warm when you pulled the paper out, already being able to see the âTo: Binnieâ written with your favourite scented marker.
To: Binnie
How are you? Iâm fine. I am writing this very late in the night because I finished my rehearsal for my school play in the evening and I just finished taking a bath. I have to be quick or my mom is gonna scold me for not sleeping yet. I wanted to tell you that you should sign up for the competition. Which is why I have to mail this to you A.S.A.P as possible because you said the sign up closes in a few days. I think that you should just try it out, even if you donât do well. Because then at least you can say that you gave it a try and you had fun. I saw this on a tv show, and they said if you donât try, you will never know if it will turn out well, because you didnât try.
So Iâm telling you to try!!!!! Just try your best and have fun. I think you will do well.
Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.
âSo this is me⌠trying⌠it. Whatever it is,â he sounded out of breath, almost, and your heart had begun to pick up speed at how it seemed as though this would be the time where he would confess his feelings to you (if Soobin and Penny were any guide to go by).
You shouldâve known Changbin better by now, though.
âThank you⌠for helping me with the film. You know, for giving me crap about it because I know that that wasnât really what I felt. I was just⌠bitter, but for some reason, you giving me shit about it kind of reminded me why I liked being friends with my penpal- or, I guess, liked being friends with you, so much in the first place.â he was looking at you more confidently now, straightening up as he continued.
âIt wasnât because you gave me fake money to buy a scooter, or anything,â he laughed, âit was more because you were someone that was friends with me for who I was? You were kind, and you were honest.â
Changbin fiddled with the envelope in his hands as you tried your best to contain your smile.
âAnd you were especially supportive, you know, in your own argumentative way.â
You let out a huff of breathy laughter at that, your hand coming up to touch your necklace, finding something else to fiddle with to contain your anxiousness.
âIâm glad, though, that I didnât know you were that Y/N,â he told you, âbecause I already grew to like this Y/N so much, that⌠finding out was just⌠a pleasant surprise.â
For the first time since you saw the letter, youâd spoken, a breathy, âme too,â leaving you, embarrassing you to no end.
âIâm glad it was you,â you murmured, averting your gaze, not having expected Changbin to have reached out a hand towards yours, hovering just momentarily before making the decisive action of grasping it gently.
âMe too.â
âSo are you gonna explain why my lettersââ
âShh,â he shut his eyes, the smile on his face making you give in almost instantly, âdonât ruin it.â
===
âI didnât know people even still sent letters these days,â Jisung snorted, sipping on his coffee that heâd just gone downstairs to buy, âhere, you have one, but there's no name.â
You frowned, picking it up and finding the handwriting of your address awfully familiar, feeling as though youâd definitely seen it scribbled on a specific brittle old notebook before.
You flopped onto your bed, opening the letter as Jisung resumed playing whatever game he was busy with on your desktop computer.
Thankful for the distraction, youâd quickly unfolded it, scrunching your nose at his choice of pen name.
To: my penpal Y/N
This letter may just be over a decade overdue, but I wanted to firstly say Iâm sorry for making you wait so long. That letter about my film competition, that was the last one I received from you, and one of my favourites. I figured it out, by the way, I gave you the wrong address. Phonics was a very tricky thing for my eight year old stubborn self that refused to cross check with my mom.
I figured sending you a letter was best, you know, since you know I'm not the very best at public speaking, or just speaking in general sometimes, I doubt I'd be able to say as eloquently what I wanted to say to you in this letter.
I wanted to give you a few updates. Firstly, I met someone in my film club. Well, technically I auditioned them for my short film so thereâs no one to blame for the trouble they caused other than me. I didnât like them that much at the beginning. I thought they were just trying to impose their stupid happily ever after beliefs on me, someone who thought I was a big bad cynical bitter man that didnât believe in love stories.
As you probably guessed, they challenged me (a lot), and waiting to see them started to feel like the days where I would wait to hear my mom tell me that a letter came in for me, even better actually. They reminded me of the qualities in myself that I was always afraid of showing, and they reminded me what was so good about being unapologetic for who I was sometimes, because they accepted all of that, (but not without giving me an shit about it first, of course).
But iâm thankful, Iâm thankful because I really grew to like them a lot. I liked how I could be comfortable being myself around her, and I liked how they would support me when I needed it, but also to correct me when I need to be corrected.
They were real, and I liked that, a lot.
So, the point of this was that if they ever happen to receive this, you know, (because I totally didnât know your current address, obviously), I hope they know that Iâve grown to like them very much, to like the personality that iâve come to know, and that iâm very excited to grow to know (and like) even more.
Iâll be seeing you, Binnie.
#changbin#seo changbin#seo changbin au#changbin au#changbin fluff#skz changbin#skz au#skz#stray kids scenarios#stray kids#stray kids au#stray kids fluff#enemies-to-lovers!changbin#on track#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#I love changbin
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Random SF ideas
It has a lot of Travis ships because that's my feral lil bby. I'm having fun keeping him from bullying people by bullying him instead lol
Every time he enters school Sal mutters âanything can happen in the Bronxâ. Todd is the only one that doesnât understand.
Travis is emotionally constipated and will take it out on others, but later do small things as his form of apologizing. Philip and his mother are the only people that understand him and understand why. Sal thinks he may be bipolar and Larry has probably called him the r-slur under his breath. (Stinky boy probably would say it openly if not for Sal's disdain for that word).
Maple and Travis bonding over jewelry and make up. Travis wonât admit it to anyone but her but he likes the way Maple accessorizes. Obligatory Chug appreciation to keep on her good side, later forms a healthy and wholesome friendship.
Travis and Larry fight verbally. It doesnât get physical unless Larry loses control and shoved Travis. This prompting a snarky reminder that Larry is no better than Travisâ own father. They cuddle and fall asleep later tho, after Sal puts them in their get along corner.
Nicknames. Travisâ weakness is nicknames. Lisa discovers this and shows Larry and Sal who abuse this power. Travisâ tan cheeks are bright red anytime heâs out public with them because of their stupidly sweet nicknames. Their go to for reactions are baby(boy), sweetheart and bottom
Shameless PDA when Sal is jealous. Travis learns the hard way how easy it is to make him jealous when a hand is in his waist and holding him close to the shorter. Fingers tracing any exposed skin to keep Travis focused on him. Sorry Lar, you took up too much Travis time..
Travisâ mom being an absolute babe. Apple if her eye is her sweet boy. Probably passed while he was young and had to watch him grow in that unhealthy environment.. maybe reaches out to Sal for help since heâs more intuitive. Def terrifies Larry a couple times as a prank. He hit her son, bully or not, it just felt right to braid his hair to his bed post a couple times and paint his nasty thoughts on his chest.
Travis hates surprises and loud noises because of his father. They donât learn that until they throw a surprise birthday party with cheering and loud pops of confetti balloons, his panic attack damn near gave him a heart attack. (He refused to accept apologies for something they didnât know. Instead demanding they spoil him for the rest of the week as compensation for his hospital trip on his birthday)
I said it once, and Iâll say it again. Service. Animals. Mr. Phelps legally obligated to give him a service animal and Travis is somewhat saved from Kenneth's abuse. Taking more time outside for walks (the dog canât bare letting Travis stay in the house for long with his father home). He genuinely bonds with other students over his new dog (the dog allowing contact when not in uniform but if Travisâ needs are present will attach itself to Travisâ hip.
Religious trauma and coping. Because PLS, can we please address the amount of abuse because of the Bible?? That boy may stay and follow the proper words of his lord. Or he could detach himself from the church entirely (especially because of the cult!)
Travis ships: Salvis and Larvis
Asked out: Oh. Oh no. How did they fall for Travis?!? What did they do to find that feral little kitten so cute?? Was it they dyed hair? The dresses when he shows off more legs than they anticipated? Him apologizing and changing for the better?? What happened to him to make him so interesting!? Sal absolutely starts approaching Travis cautiously. Taken aback when he's greeted with a warm smile and compliments. They start to grow as friends and spend time together often. Sharing eachother with their friend groups and on their own. It takes a couple of years before Sal nervously asks Travis if he would be interested in getting closer. Travis doesn't understand and Sal just awkwardly blurts out if he would try dating him... for an experiment or anything. Travis is excited, he wants to be closer and happily hugs onto Sal as his answer.
Larry is a lot ore aggressive. Cornering Travis and glaring down at him. Demanding to know what his game is. Travis doesn't fight he just nervously asks if Larry hates him. Larry almost says he does but gets distracted by the trembling and cowering kitten before him. Fuck, he can't possibly hate Travis. Larry instead starts approaching Travis. At first Travis is afraid that Larry will hit him if he doesn't like something he does. Larry hates to admit it, but Travis infested his mind. Dreams were no longer sacred when teenage hormones and a new love interest were involved. Many a times he had to look away when Travis were a particular skirt or dress because his dreams seemed to run rampant with those items. When they finally talk, Travis initiates it. He Pushes Larry into a bathroom stall and demands he explain himself. He's staring at him like a piece of meat and following him around. Larry is scaring HIS friends. Larry doesn't even hesitate to pounce on Travis. Mouth to mouth and hands on ass. Travis surprised but kinda into it allows the kiss until Larry gets too handsy. He returns to his friends with an angry red hand print on his cheek. It takes a month of apologizing Travis finally agrees to give Larry a chance. (Larry tells his mom and dances around the apartment that night)
First kiss failures: Larry got too into the kiss and starts feeling up the poor boy. Sal pecks him in his sleep and never tells Travis. He just happily holds the memory of kissing his sleeping princess.
First dates: Larry tries to show Travis the fun things to do in this sleepy little town. Travis is excited just to go anywhere other than church and school. At first there are a few hiccups, maybe weather, maybe places are crowded or cancelled. But it still ends well with the boys passed out in the truck, snuggled under a blanket Larry stores with a big smile on their face. Sal is much more romantic. Candles and flowers. Dresses up nice and styles his hair in a neat bun. He wants to impress Travis and assert he can be the man for him by presenting more masculine (Travis snorts and tells him even in a dress Sal could fight a bear). Its a simple dinner at home with Gizmo as their lazy server, sleeping on the couch in a little suit. The night ends well with the boys enjoying a night stroll and admiring the calm and almost desolate surroundings of Nockfell.
First Times: Sal does NOT expect Travis to offer it. In fact, he almost shattered his favorite mug with the tight grip he put on it. Travis thinks this means Sal doesn't want him, but no nono, Sal wants it/ He wants Travis bad. That simp wastes no time scurrying to their room, cleaning his bed and all necessary items are prepared. He was well stocked for... college purposes, but Travis offering to give Sal his first?? (Yes. He did a victory dance and scream in the tree house when he thought he was alone.)
First Time: Larry would waste no time, grabbing Travis and making sure, this is what he wants. Larry may sleep around before they got together but he would never expect Travis to offer his first time so soon. Travis agreeing and Larry in tears hugging onto the confused man. He has never been so gentle with a partner and savored every second, sound and action. It may not have been Larry's first but he was more than happy to say it was his best. Larry would 100% scream to Sal about it later though. He is a man that appreciates his partner and would be an aftercare fiend. Relishing in any reactions Travis gives him while massages and treats the poor tired bum.
Living together: Hell hath no fury like Travis on cleaning day. The boys no not to be in his way if he has his cleaning apron and swiffer. The only one allowed to interrupt his most sacred day is Gizmo and any animals they adopt. Larry has to moderate his metal music or sleep on the porch, he tried to test Travis and found the porch uncomfortable during a rainstorm. No ghost hunting after 11pm. If you even think Travis will allow you in the house after hunting ghosts he will promptly pack your bags and ship them off to your parents. Sal has his own room dedicated entirely to clothes and accessories. His prosthetics he tries to hide at first but after a harsh scolding from Travis (while he literally hand cleans every single prosthetic so Sal doesn't get an infection) Sal starts putting them away where he feels comfortable and clean. They don't expect Travis to be semi nude half the time. Especially before they marry and start a family, no pants. Never wearing pants. Larry hams up the free skin. Sal is too embarrassed of his sinful thoughts.
Proposals: Travis would be terrified of marriage after what happened to his mother. If they were to propose they ould make sure he is fully comfortable and settled in their new life. They would make sure he is loved and never feels any of the fear his father had instilled in him. Larry mentions marriage in passing to gauge his reaction. Ig Travis tenses, he kills the conversation and instead distracts Travis. If Travis reacts positively he would sneak a ring on his finger and just smirk until Travis realizes and smiles. Sal =, however, is sneaky. Keeping close tabs on Travis. If Travis starts showing signs of interest, he would 100% plan the biggest proposal for Travis and make sure he feels cherished during every moment.
#travis phelps#larry johnson#larry x travis#sal fisher#sal x travis#salvis#larvis#laravis#sally face au#sally face#Travis having the absolute power over his simps#Lisa would be surprised Larrys boyfriend is the Phelps boy she saw on the news
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risk it â jjk | nine.
risk it | nine: one more chance.
a/n: i know this update is kinda late, pls forgive me. xoÂ
â main pairing: tattoo artist!jungkook x salon owner!reader
â side ships: namjin, vmin (fwb), hoseok x makeup artist!oc
â word count: 2.1k
â warnings:Â angst (duh lol), languageÂ
SERIES SUMMARY:
â§Â a drunken text ends with you wrapped up in the arms of your ex-boyfriend. aka the man that you dumped two years prior, after he refused to marry you. suddenly, all of the feelings that youâd seemingly had buried come rushing back up to the surface, and youâre not sure how long you can ignore them.
Jungkookâs hands were gripped onto the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles had begun to turn white. His lips were pursed, brows narrowed, and chest heaving with angry breaths as he drove toward your salon.Â
He had half a mind to turn around and drive in the opposite directionâ to your apartment, where Yoongi was, and pummel him into the ground until he was bruised and bloody from head to toe.Â
But he wanted to see you more. He wanted to tell you exactly what he thought about you having sex with his ex best friend, and he wanted to know exactly what the two of you had done together.Â
Ever since Taehyung had sent that fucking picture in the group chat, it was all he could think about. He kept imagining Yoongiâs hands traveling up and down your body, Yoongiâs mouth trailing down your stomach, and every time heâd envision Yoongi fucking you into your mattress all he saw was red.Â
When he finally pulled into a parking spot outside of the front door, he took a deep breath and ran the palms of his hands down his face in an attempt to mentally prepare himself for what was to come.Â
The sign above the door read Kookie Cutters, and he couldnât help but to shake his head as memories of the two of you together flooded back in.Â
He was lying next to you on your shared bed, one hand mindlessly on your breast (as it always seemed to be), while his other hand held the television remote.Â
Youâd been trying to come up with a name for your business all afternoon, and at first, he was eager to help. But after you shot down all fifty of his suggestions, heâd resorted to just nodding and grunting as he let you ramble on.Â
 âI want the name to be something unique, yet personal. Something that nobody else has thought of.âÂ
He nodded his head in agreement, attention more focused on the soccer game in front of him than on your words.Â
You rolled your eyes, plucking a pillow from behind his head and swatting him with it.Â
âHey! I was listening!â He insisted, swatting your attack away with his hands.Â
âUh huh, so what did I say?â You lifted a brow, hands on your hips.Â
He smirked at your newfound attitude, always finding it so adorable and endearing.Â
âAlright, alright. You caught me.â He admitted, to which you let out an annoyed sounding huff.Â
âKook! This is important!â your eyes lit up then, a theoretical lightbulb switching on above your head, âWait, thatâs it! Iâve got the name!âÂ
âCare to share with the rest of the class?â Jungkook teased, and you playfully punched his shoulder.Â
âKookie Cutters, but⌠spelled like your name.â You visibly blushed as you told him your suggestion, and he was sure you were the cutest person heâd ever laid eyes on.
âSounds good to me.â
Jungkook inhaled one final deep breath before wrapping his hand around the door handle and opening it up, stepping inside of the decently sized building.Â
He was immediately greeted with the smell of bleach and hairspray, the sound of gossiping hairdressers and clients buzzing through his ears.Â
The place had grown impressively since the last time heâd been. Youâd obviously hired more help, as well as made several renovations to the storeâs overall aesthetic. The walls that used to be the ugliest shade of puke green were now a stylish cool toned grey, and the once tile floors had been replaced with dark rustic hardwood. Youâd replaced the cheap light fixtures with spectacular chandeliers, and the waiting area that used to have a sofa and a small tv now housed several chairs and two wall mounted flat screens.
It suited the place, he thought. It suited you.Â
âYou look lost.â A feminine voice pulled him out of his trance, and he turned to face none other than Lee Mina.Â
He offered her a small shrug, his eyes still looking the place over and attempting to catch sight of anything he mightâve missed.Â
âJust impressed, is all. Looks a lot different than it did two years ago. Well, I mean, other than the name.âÂ
âYouâre a cocky son of a bitch, you know that?â The brunette crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her toes on the floor below, exuding annoyance from every single one of her pores.Â
âIâve been told that a time or two, yeah.â He confessed, looking past her and scanning the other women in the salonâ looking for you.Â
âSheâs in her office,â Mina informed, âbut I highly doubt she wants to see you.âÂ
âI told her I was on my way here.âÂ
âAwfully bold of you to come into a place filled to the brim with scissors and bleach, donât you think?â Mina held a bite to her voice that damn near sent shivers down the manâs spine.Â
Luckily, you finally made an appearance and stood beside your hard headed friend.Â
âDown, girl,â you placed a hand on her shoulder, nodding toward the waiting area, âyouâve got a client, no time for poisoning my ex boyfriend.âÂ
âTrust me,â she started, shooting a death glare in Jungkookâs direction as she began to walk away, âI can make time.âÂ
Jungkook was sure that if looks could kill, heâd be six feet under right now.Â
âShe doesnât like me, does she?âÂ
You scoffed, hands on your hips.
âCan you blame her?âÂ
No, he couldnât.Â
He sighed, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck, âCan we go somewhere and talk?âÂ
You nodded, âYeah, we can go into my office. Follow me.âÂ
He did as he was told, keeping a safe distance between the two of you as he walked behind you.Â
âI like what youâve done with the place, by the way.âÂ
You mumbled a thank you as you opened up your wooden office door, stepping aside and gesturing him to go in before you.Â
Your office was just as impressive as the main space, but Jungkook could tell that youâd taken the time to make this room more personal. Pictures of you and your friends hung on the wall behind where your glass desk was sat, and heâd be lying if he said it didnât upset him to see that there werenât any pictures of you two. Not that heâd expected there to be.Â
Apparently, you could see the way that his face seemed to fall at that realization, and you were quickly bumping his hip to turn his attention to the picture frame beside your laptop.Â
It was a photo of you and Jungkook, around seventeen years old, he guessed. His hair was much shorter, and his skin had a lot less inkâ as in, had no ink. Yours was the same way, bare and tattooless. Jungkook was kissing your cheek in the photo, and you were grinning from ear to ear with your metal braces on full display.Â
He couldnât help but to reach out and touch it, allowing his fingers to ghost over the picture as he reminisced about the past. Youâd become his everything when the two of you were just sixteen, the typical high school sweethearts clichĂŠ.Â
He shared his first kiss with you, and you shared yours with him. It was so badâ teeth clacking and tongues unsure of what to do. But eventually, the two of you figured it out. Together.Â
Your first time having sex was even worse, because neither of you even managed to cum. Maybe you wouldâve, if Jungkookâs mom hadnât walked in in the middle of it and proceeded to give you the worldâs longest speech about how she was too young for grandchildren.Â
âDid you really think Iâd have pictures of everyone else, but leave you out?â You asked, taking a step forward and leaning your back against the desk beside him.Â
âGuess it shouldnât shock me,â he shrugged, straightening his posture as he sat on the edge of the desk and allowed one leg to dangle down, âseeing as how I still have a picture of you on my station at the shop.âÂ
âYou know,â he laughed, shaking his head, âI was so mad before I came here. Really, my blood was boiling. But as soon as I laid eyes on youââÂ
âDonât,â you cut him off with a wave of your hand, âjust say what you came here to say, Jungkook.Â
You werenât looking at him, your eyes were staring straight forward at the frames hanging on the wall in front of you. He could see the way they were glossed over, tears threatening to spill out at any moment.Â
Heâd made you cry so many times before, and every single time he did he felt like he was dyingâ like all of the air was being slowly sucked from his lungs.Â
âBug, donât cry,â he stood in front of you instantly, his hands instinctively finding their way onto the sides of your face, âI just wanted to apologize, to tell you that Iâm sorry for hurting you.âÂ
You closed your eyes, and to his surprise, leaned into his touch. He swiped his thumb across your cheekbone as a single tear fell down, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.Â
âYou keep saying that,â you choked out, fully allowing the sobs to take over your body now, âbut you donât ever make any effort to stop doing it!âÂ
Your body began to shake, and you could no longer hold yourself up. The weight of everything that had happened recently, and in the past, was clearly getting to you. You fell against Jungkookâs chest as you continued to choke out pitiful sobs, and he used his strong arms to hold your body up to keep you from slipping to the ground.Â
âI c-canât do this anymore, Kook! Iâm so in love with you that I feel it in every inch of my body, but all you seem to want to do is h-hurt me,â you continued to ramble, using the back of your hand to wipe at your nose, âand I know you donât mean to sometimes. But sometimes y-you do! And I justâ I miss you, I miss who you used to be. I miss the guy that loved me and treated me right when we were teenagers! I know heâs in there somewhere, so either dig deep and f-find him or stay the f-fuck out of my life because IââÂ
The sound of Jungkookâs own sobbing cut you off. Heâd begun stroking your hair with his hand as he let you get everything out, but it wrecked him to know he was making you feel this way.Â
âIâll try and be better, I swear to God I will. Youâre all Iâve ever fucking wanted, and I am so sorry for all the hurt and pain Iâve caused you. You deserve so much better than me,â he lifted your chin with his fingers so that his sad eyes could meet your own, âbut if youâll give me one more chance⌠I swear Iâll be the man that you need me to be.âÂ
He could tell that the gears of your mind were working in overdrive, weighing out the pros and cons of putting your trust in him again. He hoped with every fiber of his being that you would, because come hell or high water, he was going to prove to you that he was worth your love again.Â
You lifted your hands up to meet his face, wiping his tears from his cheeks and tucking his long strands of hair behind his ears.Â
âOkay. One more chance.âÂ
The sigh of relief that Jungkook breathed out could no doubt be heard from the other side of the world. He nodded once, taking in the fact that youâd actually agreed to have him in your life full time again, even on a trial basis.Â
His forehead leaned against your own as he pulled you tighter against him, giving your body with the tightest embraceâ scared that at any moment, youâd change your mind and run in the opposite direction.Â
âI promise you wonât regret this, bug. I mean it, IââÂ
Jungkook was cut off by Mina swinging open the door to your office and announcing your presence with her seemingly always excited, high pitched voice.Â
âOh, my God! Iâm sorry, I-I didnât mean to interrupt, itâs justâ uhm,â she was stammering awkwardly, and speaking way too quickly, âYn, you uhm⌠have a client. Sheâs waiting for you.âÂ
You gave her a quick nod, letting her know that youâd be out in just a minute as you wiped at the mascara running under your eyes.Â
âCall me later?â you asked, finally breaking away from your ex loverâs hold, âWe have a lot more to talk about.âÂ
âSure thing.âÂ
As you turned to exit the room, you stood up on the tips of your toes and placed a hand on Jungkookâs shoulder before allowing your lips to peck a kiss to his cheek.Â
âGet home safe, Kook.âÂ
â masterlist â˘
a/n: if youâd like to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! thanks for reading!
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#bts#bts smut#jungkook#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jeon jeongguk#jeongguk smut#bts smau#bts sm au#bts fake social media#bts fake texts#jungkook angst#seokjin#namjoon#yoongi#hoseok#jimin#taehyung#jungkook imagine#jeongguk
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Wish You Were Sober
pairing; Reddie
word count; 4k
summary; Eddie is tired of Richie flirting like a madman whenever he gets alcohol in his system.
a/n; so i decided iâm making a kind of series of reddie fics i write based on songs, bc iâm the type of bitch that listens to any music or intakes any kind of media and thinks âiMagiNe tHiS bUt rEdDiE<333âł so ya thereâs that lol. hereâs a lil angsty one shot based on wish you were sober by conan gray, aka a superior song if u ask me. as always, read on ao3 here if youâd like and enjoy ! :)
Nirvana blared through the speakers and traveled throughout the too small apartment owned by some random guy in one of Richieâs classes. Richie didnât know him too well - he thinks his name is Chris? Collin? Something with a âCâ - but, hey, a partyâs a party, and free booze is free booze.
The trashmouth was chatting loudly over the music with Bill on a dingy leather couch, waiting for Stan and Eddie to return with more drinks. Richie was already significantly further along than his friends in terms of his drunken state, all obnoxious laughs interrupted by hiccups and long, gangly limbs flailing more wildly than usual. It almost should be concerning to the other Losers, having only been at the party for less than a couple hours and their friend already being long gone, but it was what they were used to. Since they were 15 and stealing liquor from their parents, the Losers constantly saw Richieâs âgo big or go homeâ attitude with drinking. They assumed it was just Richie wanting to be the life of the party and center of attention, whether that meant going shot for shot with Mike, accepting any type of drinking related dare from Beverly, etc.
Richie let them believe this, because it was better than telling them the truth. It was easier than admitting to them that around the same time he started sneaking a copious amount of vodka from the Tozierâs alcohol stash, he was also realizing certain feelings he had for a certain Loser.
Richie Tozier loved Eddie Kaspbrak. Richie was sure it was just one of those basic laws of the universe, one thatâs impossible to ignore and inevitable to come to pass. Despite this, living in a small town like Derry meant getting the shit kicked out of you if you even look at another guy for too long, soulmates or inescapable love or whatever be damned. Richie had gotten beatdowns left and right from neighborhood bullies for being a âfaggotâ before he even knew what the word meant, so he, unfortunately, knew this from personal experience.
But now, sitting in an apartment in Manhattan of all places, attending NYU with three out of six of his best friends, away from those assholes in Derry, Richie thought heâd loosen up. Let himself be brave.
He soon learned that was easier said than done; who knew what 19 years of internalized homophobia could do to a man?
Itâs not like he was afraid of being more of an outcast; he was already a loser with a capital âL,â and he, along with the rest of his friends, carried the title like it was given to them by the Queen herself. Deep down Richie knew the rest of the Losers wouldnât even bat an eye at the fact that he liked dudes the way he should have liked girls, so he wasnât afraid of losing them either. And deep, deep down, Richie also knew there wasnât really anything wrong with him. Why would he feel such a way if it was supposed to be such an unnatural and vile thing? He couldnât help who he was, who or how he loved, and God, he loved Eddie so much he thought he could just burst with it sometimes.
That shred of acceptance, though, was buried so deep in his lanky form, and the only way to reach it was through a ridiculous amount of shots. Or beers. Or just about anything with a decent alcohol content, really. Heâd even settle with wine if he had to.
When Richie was drunk, he was able to be more clingy and face less consequences. He was already an affectionate guy, constantly pinching Eddieâs cheeks and throwing a lazy arm around the shorter manâs shoulders whenever he could. With alcohol, though, heâd give sloppy cheek kisses and intertwine his fingers with Eddieâs and allow his face to form a subtle blush when an intoxicated Eddie would lean into it.
âSorry for being all over ya last night, Eds. You know how gross and clingy I can get,â heâd say the following morning, and then theyâd fall back into their rhythm of bickering and âyour momâ jokes. Business as usual, like clockwork every time theyâd get wasted.
Richie thought it was going well, that his feelings were going totally unnoticed, that he was stealth. Until this particular college party, that is.
Richieâs attention left his conversation with Bill about the newest Die Hard film when he felt the couch sink next to him, turning to meet eyes with a mildly tipsy Eddie. The taller manâs face immediately lit up, a goofy smile spreading across his chapped lips.
âHiya, Spagheds! Whatâs cookin, good lookinâ?â Richie slurred out, his arm finding its way around Eddieâs waist and using his other hand to snatch the mixed drink his friend was holding out for him. Eddie responded with his usual scoff and eyeroll, but Richie noted an extra bite to it that he wasnât used to getting from him.
âDonât call me that, asshole! And havenât you ever heard of personal space?â Eddie grumbled, wiggling himself out of Richieâs side embrace and putting some distance between the two. The arm that was once around Eddie made its way to Richieâs own body as he dramatically grasped at his chest.
âEddie, baby, youâve wounded me! Since when do you pass up some signature Tozier cuddles?â Richie was met with a simple huff in response as Eddie avoided his gaze. Richieâs eyebrows furrowed together in confusion at the lack of attention he was receiving from the man who would usually be giving him the most attention, but he was overall too drunk to overthink. With a shrug, Richie downed his freshly made drink in record timing before crunching the plastic cup in his hand and tossing it over his shoulder, causing Eddie to scoff again from next to him. Stan spoke up from beside Bill before Eddie could ream his friend about his lack of care for tidiness.
âMaybe you should start on some water, huh, Rich?â Richie gasped dramatically, turning to look at Stan as if he had just told him pigs fly.
âStaniel, did you just ask moi to drink water? Whatâs the point of free booze if youâre not gonna take advantage?â He asked incredulously before standing, wobbling on his long limbs for a couple seconds and giggling a bit before regaining his balance. âSpeaking of, Iâm gonna go see if my boy Chris has any good brewskis lyinâ around.â
âIsnât his name C-C-Connor?â Bill asked, shaking his head in amusement. He seemed to be the only one enjoying the trashmouthâs antics this evening, as Stanâs eyebrows were furrowed in concern which he tried to pass off as annoyance, and Eddie still kept his gaze elsewhere. It was the latter that made Richie itch for another drink.
âWhatever the fuck, Billiam. Iâll be back in a jiff, my loves! Try not to miss me too much!â Richie exclaimed with a bow, breaking out his British accent for his next sentence. âBut if I find mâlady Mary Jane, donât wait up, lads! Pip pip!â
Before Richie could step five feet from the couch, an aggressive hand was yanking him back by the wrist. Losing his footing due to the intrusion, Richie stumbled once more, nearly toppling onto Eddie. The shorter manâs tight grip on his arm was the only thing that kept him from sending them both back onto the scratchy leather of the couch below. Richie beamed at the attention he was finally receiving, despite the glare Eddie was boring deep into his features.
âSit the fuck down, Richard. Youâre not drinking anymore fucking beer and youâre definitely not smoking anything. Youâre drinking some water and Iâm taking you the fuck back to your room, asswipe,â Eddie said sternly, getting as close as he could to Richieâs face with the height difference between them. Richie couldnât help but love when Eddie got like this; sure, he was red in the face more with anger than with the alcohol, but the anger was backed by mountains of concern. It reminded Richie how much his love cared about him, even though he was sure their forms of love differed. There was still some kind of love there, and sometimes, that was enough for him.
Although Richie felt his chest swell and he wanted nothing more than to ease Eddieâs anger and please him, his mouth rambled before his brain could tell it what to say, as usual.
âIf you wanted to get me alone, Eds, all ya had to do was ask,â Richie slurred with a wink, slowly bringing his hand up Eddieâs arm, his calloused fingertips slightly teasing the warm skin. Eddieâs face flushed an even deeper shade of red, from anger or something else, no one was sure - until Richieâs hand was being swatted away, the smack of it loud enough for Bill and Stan to hear over the music from their spot on the couch. Richie mumbled a curse under his breath as he rubbed the skin Eddie came in contact with, a sting lingering there. He opened his mouth to speak again, some kind of excuse or apology on the tip of his tongue, but never got it out due to Eddieâs voice cutting him off.
âStop doing this, Richie! Just stop! Iâm tired of it!â Eddie's voice was slowly rising, and the tremble that laced within his words acted as some kind of magical potion; suddenly Richie had never been so sober.Â
âHey, Eddie, itâs okay. Iâm sorry, whatever I did Iâm sor-â The apology was interrupted with another signature scoff as Eddie looked at the ground, shaking his head, breathing out a humorless chuckle.
âYou donât even know what youâre doing,â he said with a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking Richie in his eyes once again. Despite the apartment being dark with the exception of a couple of lamps scattered around the area, Richie could see the glistening threat of tears waiting to spill from the doe eyes he loved so much. His heart ached.
âOf course you donât know what youâre doing, Rich, because youâre too fucking drunk! Youâre always too drunk. I just⌠I just wish you were sober for fucking once!â Eddie practically screamed, before his voice softened with hurt again. âI just wish youâd act like this with me without fucking booze.â There were a couple beats of silence between them, two pairs of dark eyes swimming with gallons of emotions simply blinking at one another, the only noise coming from Eddieâs sniffling. Richie did all in his power to search for a response, but for once in his life, the trashmouth was at a loss for words. After what felt like forever, Eddie finally ended the moment by turning on his heel and making a beeline for the door, leaving Richie to stand in dumbfounded silence while his intoxicated brain processed the scene that just unfolded. His thought process was interrupted by a voice coming from the couch.
âWha-what just happened?â Bill asked, his amusement from earlier in the night completely dissipated and replaced with a mix of confusion and concern.
âRichieâs oblivious and a dumbass is what just happened. Nothing new,â Stan deadpanned from next to him. Richie snapped his body towards the pair, making his head spin and reminding him of just how drunk he was. He blinked at the two in an attempt to adjust his sight before raising his hands in defense at Stanâs comment.
âWhat are you talking about? Do you know what that was about?â Richie asked, pointing towards the direction Eddie stormed off in. Stan rolled his eyes before standing up and grabbing Richie by the shoulders with both hands, giving him a serious look.
âWhen we went to get drinks, Eddie talked to me. About you. About how you act when youâre drunk, all over him and shit, more than usual. And how much he likes it, but he hates that he likes it, because you only do it when youâre drunk.â Richie continued to gape at his friend, clearly not connecting what Stanâs words meant. Stan sighed, scrunching his face in annoyance and gripping Richieâs shoulders tighter. âHeâs in love with you, asshole! Either tell him you love him too, because trust me, everyone except him knows you do, or stop leading him on. Itâs fucking ruining him, man!â
Realization finally hit Richie, his eyes welling with tears as Stanâs grip on his shoulders softened. âHe- He is? Are you sure? This- This isnât funny, Stanley. A-Are you sure?â he breathed out, and if it wasnât for the weight of the situation, heâd made a joke about how he was sounding like Bill, nervous stutter and all. Stan gave a slight nod and responded, but Richie didnât hear what he said. His mind was suddenly racing; find Eddie. tell Eddie. kiss Eddie. EddieEddieEddie.
Before he knew it his feet were running just as fast as his thoughts, not 100% sure where he was going, just knowing he needed to find Eddie. Richie raced out of the apartment building into the chilly air that was New York City on a late November night, frantically scanning the streets. His eyes soon locked on a figure about half a block down, leaning against a mailbox, head in his hands. Even with the distance between them, Richie could tell he was trembling, either from the cold or from crying, he wasnât sure. As he felt the sharp breeze across his skin exposed by the rips in his jeans, he assumed probably both.
Richie thought better than to call out his name, opting instead to slowly approach Eddie. He did his best to labor his breathing in his short walk over, mentally preparing himself for the confrontation that was about to take place. The confrontation that would bear all feelings, all confessions. All of the walls Richie had been building around himself since high school would finally come down.
He wished he had another drink.
âEds?â He spoke softly, possibly the softest heâd ever spoken, as to not scare Eddie and send him running. The shorter man lifted his head from his hands, and Richieâs heart broke even more at the sight before him. Eddieâs eyes were red and puffy, a wall of hurt extremely evident in the soft brown. His nose was runny, and his lip quivered as he looked away when he realized who was standing in front of him.
âDonât call me that,â he practically whispered, just loud enough for the other to catch it over the bustle of traffic in the streets surrounding them. Although he was avoiding the other manâs gaze like his life depended on it, Eddie made no attempt to walk away. Richie took that as a small win.
âEddie, talk to me. Please. Whatâs up? Itâs just me and you, man. Câmon.â Richie wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch Eddie. Offer a comforting hand on his shoulder, run his fingers through his hair, hold him close, tell him everything would be okay. But he didnât dare move.
A car honked down the street, offering the only noise that cut through the thick silence when Eddie didnât take Richieâs offer to speak. The former stayed silent with his head down, finding the dirty concrete under his pristine white converse highly interesting. Richie let out a sigh.
âOkay, you donât have to talk. Iâll do all the talking. Iâm the Trashmouth after all, arenât I?â Richie offered a lame chuckle when his attempt at a joke fell flat, Eddie not breaking his frown even slightly. Richie cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing. âLook, I talked to Stan, he told me what you guys talked about, and -â He was cut off by the same humorless chuckle he heard in the apartment minutes ago, but this time it dripped with sadness rather than anger.
âDammit, Stanley, you fucking traitor,â Eddie mumbled mostly to himself. He shook his head with a deep sigh and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, making them impossibly redder, before willing himself to look at Richie, his voice finally reaching above a murmur for the first time since leaving the party. âSecretâs out, I guess. Iâm a fucking cliche. The fuckinâ queer that fell for his best friend.â
All Richie could do was silently stare, mouth slightly agape and eyes comically blown, amplified more so by his glasses. Sure, Stan had told him this not even five minutes beforehand, but hearing it from Eddie himself was an entirely different experience. He figured under different circumstances, Eddie would probably be laughing at how dumb he was sure he looked. Instead, the shorter man looked at him expectantly with tears still in his eyes, clearly waiting for some kind of response, and expecting the worst. They stood this way, basically a mirroring of what played out in the party upstairs before Eddie stormed out, for a solid minute before it was - once again - Eddie who broke the silence.
âSo much for doing all the talking,â he muttered, the volume of his voice lowering, Richie realizing as Eddie looked back at the ground that he was closing in on himself once again. âGood night, Rich.â
âNo,â Richie finally spoke, his arm darting out to grab Eddieâs hand before he could even adjust his feet to leave. âPlease donât walk away again. Please.â His voice broke on the last plea, his own eyes finally beginning to water. Eddie was still staring in the opposite direction down the concrete path he was planning on following before he was interrupted, but was staying put, not rejecting Richieâs hand in his. âThereâs so much I wanna say to you, Eddie. So much. I just⌠Shit, I just donât know how.â
Richie was crying just as much as Eddie was at this point but quieter, unable to pull himself together as much as he wanted to be brave. Eddie turned his head to face Richie with his glare still hardened, only softening when he saw the state Richie was in. Eddie had known Richie since they were literal children, and he knew better than anyone that Richie Tozier didnât cry like this. Not unless something was truly eating at him. The anger Eddie felt towards the situation seemed to have completely disappeared as he comfortably squeezed Richieâs hand, giving him encouraging eyes.
The taller man used his free hand to rub the tears from his eyes, giving him a better look at Eddie. They were standing fairly close to the lone street light of the block, the faint orange tint of the bulb complimenting Eddieâs lightly tanned skin and chestnut eyes. Without thinking, Richie brought his hand up to Eddieâs face, cupping his cheek and wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his thumb. He continued softly rubbing at the skin there after the tear was gone, his thumb dancing across the freckles, his mind flooded with thoughts of how beautiful the man before him was. Eddie closed his eyes for a brief moment, taking in the feel of Richieâs touch.
Unable to find words again but refusing to let the moment slip out of his fingers for the third time of the night, Richie did the only thing he truly knew how to do; he acted impulsively.
If asked, Richie wouldnât be able to pinpoint exactly when he decided to kiss the man heâd loved since he was 15 in the middle of Greenwich Village at one in the morning. Before he knew it, the hand on Eddieâs cheek slid down to his neck, pulling their lips together before the shorter man could react to the shift in Richieâs hold on him. As much as he didnât want to admit the fact, Richie knew he wouldnât have taken such action if it werenât for the alcohol flowing through his veins, but at this point he didnât much care. When their lips met, he forgot all about the booze, and became drunk on Eddie.
Eddie kissed back without hesitation, letting go of Richieâs hand and easily snaking his arms around his neck, with a comfortability as if they had done this thousands of times. It was sloppy due to the pairâs mixed tears along with their lack of experience, but nevertheless the two men kissed with purpose, as if the fate of their livelihood depended on this moment. Perhaps it did.
By the time they pulled away and rested their foreheads together, Eddieâs fingers had found themselves tangled in Richieâs dark curls, and Richieâs hands were gripping Eddieâs hips for dear life. The kiss hadnât lasted too long - thirty seconds or so, if that - however the energy both men poured into those short seconds left them panting heavily, their breath tangling together, hot in the otherâs face in the midst of the cold air around them.
âThat was better than talking,â Richie breathed out with a wet chuckle, causing Eddie to finally crack his first smile of the night. It was a small one, the corners of his mouth curving only lightly, but Richie saw that his happiness had made its way into his stare.
âShut up, Richie,â Eddie whispered with no real bite in his words before bringing their lips together again, this kiss softer than the last. While their first kiss was filled with the passion built up from years of mutual pining and secrets, their second let them convey the deepness of their love without words to speak. A tender peck of their lips told Richie everything he needed to know; this moment was very much real, and Eddie Kaspbrak very much loved Richie Tozier.
And if the kiss wasnât enough, Eddie made sure to tell him when he pulled out of the kiss and rested his head on the taller manâs shoulder, pulling him into a proper embrace.
âI love you, Rich. I- I think I always have,â he confessed, his voice slightly muffled from where his face was buried in Richieâs neck, but the other man heard him loud and clear all the same. Richie released his grip on Eddieâs hips and wrapped his arms around him, letting himself breathe out a sigh of relief as he held him impossibly closer.
âI love you too, Eds. So fucking much, fuck.â Richie pressed a kiss to soft brown waves, breathing in the clean scent of lavender shampoo mixed with light cologne, his senses filling with just Eddie.
Standing in the middle of a bustling city they barely knew in the wee hours of a Sunday morning, arms wrapped tightly around one another, ignoring the strangers that walked past them most definitely giving them some variation of judgemental stares, Eddie and Richie had never felt more at home.
âAlright, Trashmouth,â Eddie started, reluctantly pulling away from Richieâs hold. Richie pouted at the loss of feeling Eddieâs body pressed against his own, making the latter chuckle and playfully roll his eyes. He pressed a quick peck to said trashmouth before continuing. âWe can talk about this more in the morning. Right now, you need water and sleep.â Richie slapped a toothy grin onto his chapped lips after, once again, being reminded of how intoxicated he still was, falling back into his goofy demeanor with ease.
âYa gonna take care of me, Dr. K? Ugh, what a dreamboat,â he replied, miming a cartoonish faint. Eddie simply giggled and grasped Richieâs hand once again, interlacing their fingers and leading him in the direction of their dorms. Richie fell back ever so slightly as to not get caught looking at Eddie like the lovesick dork he was, feeling a warmth grow in his body he was sure wasnât due to the alcohol.
Richie still drinks after this night; old habits die hard, of course. However, Richie didnât have to be drunk anymore to admit he loved Eddie. He told him sober and drunk, day and night, and vowed to remind Eddie just how much he loved him until the day they died.
#my writing#reddie#richie tozier#eddie kaspbrak#reddie fic#reddie fanfic#reddie angst#it#it chapter one#it chapter two#it 2017#it 2019
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