#lol jk... only half hehe

[madfantasy]

The Snake & The Peacock 🐍🦚

Friendship? Investments? Remanence of family? Callous belonging? unvoiced depths of conscious denial, guilt and regret??? I DONT KMOW IM TOO FAR DRIVEN TO ARTICULATE, YOU BEE MYYY WOORDDDSSS DX🔥🔥🔥

30.9.2023, SUPPORT MANIIIIIIII D'X

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

peppermint gum, m | jjk | savor...

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

It’s impossible to fall in love when you’re already in love. And Jeon Jungkook was in love. Helplessly. But what could he do? Time passed. The world became tasteless to his eyes. All he could do was hold onto the crisp and intense color of those memories, remember her words, and wonder where she was now. Savor, and burst forth.

this is part i | click here for part ii | total wc: 25.6k

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; this story contains parental child abuse - child neglect and abandonment; sloooow burn; mild alcohol consumption; hardcore pining JK; angst and fluff and feels; (in part ii) smut (fem reader, slight D/s dynamic, so much kissing, hair pulling, scratching / marking. grinding, choking, m-receiving oral, finger sucking, fingering, nipple play, m-masturbation, thigh riding, edging, penetrative sex, doggy, multiple orgasms); shifts back and forth between Jungkook’s POV and your POV; from lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers again :)

non-idol!AU; pining!Jungkook x noona!reader — ft JK's helpful? friends Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin; reader's close friend and talented guitarist, Kang Hyungu (ONEWE's Kanghyun if you want to see his appearance, hehe, same personality); JK has all his piercings and has hair (lol) had to be broken up into two parts bc it is 25k words, rip

--

“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll forget you?”

Those last words rang in his head, accompanied by her smile.

“Your mind might forget me, but the body always remembers.”

He wanted her to be wrong. But, of course, she wasn’t. Life wasn’t so kind. Life wasn’t so kind to give him a dramatic ending. Rather, it was a calm one of slow decay where he gradually learned to not miss her anymore. No ill feelings. Just helplessness. He had wanted her to be his morning, his afternoon, his night. She didn’t. He had been younger then. He had thought he could change what was already written.

She had done the right thing, actually.

Years past. The memories became a blur with everything else. Everyone else – between nights and bodies and the feeling of not quite right. Searching but not knowing what he was looking for so he cut them off just as he had been cut off. It hurt, of course, but not as much as it would have if he had let it drag on. Maybe that was what he had learned from that time.

He forgot to miss her.

But he still thought of her and wondered where she was now.

Tattoos, piercings, and countless hours at the gym later. Running. Life an endless loop despite the differences. Nowadays, he was making an effort to hang out with his friends more, not just for birthdays or online games, but socializing at in-person events that he still wasn’t very good at. Becoming older meant drifting apart since they didn’t have those common places to mingle in anymore, so it was important to put in the effort. If he wanted to improve in talking to people more casually, well, he should at least put himself in those opportunities, right?

Right.

Running.

Always running.

Sometimes, when he was in the dark surrounded by people and with just the right amount of alcohol in his system, he missed her terribly, but he couldn’t remember what standing next to her was even like.

Other times, he completely forgot she used to like this type of tea or that kind of snack. These details faded into the background, only to return to him in disorienting dreams and half-realities.

And most of the time, he forgot.

In between hands and lips and legs, he felt the rush. The exhilaration. Lust. He could make magic in the bedroom. Wasn’t that what it was all about? Wasn’t it all about the chase between two? Wasn’t love about strangers becoming forever-afters? Wasn’t it? He didn’t know anything about that when he was younger. Right. How could that be love?

Maybe.

Maybe he just forgot.

The spark always died so fast. It must have been not quite right.

She must have forgotten him too, by now.

When Jeon Jungkook saw her again, he hadn’t expected it at all.

It was at a nightclub concert. Loud and obnoxious and full of infectious energy. A friend of his was a singer of the band that was going onstage next. Currently, there was alternative rock band vibing with the crowd, singing songs that no one knew but spoke to feelings everyone understood. Breakup lyrics to sweetheart melodies. He was enjoying himself, but not paying much attention. In a split second, he had whipped his head around because one of his friends was playfully flicking the back of his hair, being an idiot, and then he saw her at the edge of the stage. Right there. He almost didn’t think it was her at first, but his eyes recognized that face right away, even amidst the chocolate smokey eye and cherry lip stain. He almost looked away, not wanting to stare at a now-stranger, but his body froze when she smiled, remembering the way his heart fluttered when those past-lover-now-stranger’s eyes sparkled with mischief when she smiled.

That couldn’t have been love, right?

He couldn’t remember.

Was she more beautiful than before or had helplessness desaturated his memory?

She was cheerfully speaking to someone. A young man who had cerulean hair. His undercut was dyed a gradient purple. Taller than her, with broad shoulders. Black t-shirt and tight jeans showing off a built body. He lingered near her the same way a cat stayed by its owner. She shook her head at him and said something. The man chuckled despite a demeanor full of nervousness. She handed him his purple electric guitar and pushed him, motioning him to interact with the band standing offstage. Oh, that was right. His singer friend had mentioned that their actual guitarist was out taking care of his grandmother. They had to call someone to fill in on short notice.

It was clear, by the instrument, that this was the fill in.

The young man trotted over to the band and introduced himself. He was meant with open arms and gracious bows that left him flustered and shaking his head.

Jeon Jungkook looked away, not wanting her to see him.

Would she know it was him?

He glanced at her again during the break for the band change. She was standing at the side, not too close to the wall but not too far. Could be noticed right away, because she was not drinking and because she was alone. Simply standing there. Almost regal even in a tight white crop top and hip-hugging black trousers. The thick black strap of her sling bag had a large plush keychain dangling by her waist. A tuxedo cat with a tangerine on its head. She didn’t seem bothered to be alone with no one to speak to. She also held onto a big, thick, black leather jacket. Folded and tucked in her arms. Could be hers.

Could also not be.

She was smiling in the direction of the substitute guitarist. Jungkook caught a shared gaze between them. She gave the man a thumbs up. He returned the smile, albeit awkwardly. A wordless exchange. Two people who knew each other very well. The lights dimmed. An announcement was made and cheers erupted around him.

But Jungkook was in the dark, surrounded by people, with not enough alcohol in his system to place the emotion he was feeling right now.

He looked to the stage as the spotlights returned to the stage, lighting up the band and his friend, but his mind held onto the image he had just now seen. Something about her makeup, with the striking eyeliner and black-cherry tinted lips. His own lips tingled, remembering the taste of a kiss from years ago.

A bright and refreshing flavor, so strong that it had seemed to last for hours after.

He was not self-centered or bitter enough to call her an ex-girlfriend. It had been a crisp and intense connection but, in retrospect, the time had been short. Fast and in a rush. The kind of love that made his skin prickle and his heart race. There had been no way to know how long it would last. There had been no comparison to realize that that love could be as fleeting as it was powerful.

A peppermint gum love.

Ah, what was he going on like this for? Maybe she didn’t want to be bothered. Maybe she wouldn’t want to see a ghost of her past. Maybe she didn’t even remember him. Jungkook knew he looked very different now. Back then, he had been a lot more worried about being presentable to everyone. Now, he was old enough to know he couldn’t and didn’t have to please everyone. He could wear loose clothes even if he worked out to look toned the way he wanted. He could get those lip piercings even if people told him eight ear piercings was already too many and adding two more on the right side of his lower lip was overdoing it. He could get a sleeve of colorfully dark tattoos and maybe consider getting more if he really wanted, even if some people found it tacky or not to their taste.

Well.

As long as he had the money for it, anyway.

He tried to discern how she was looking at the young man playing guitar, but Jungkook couldn’t figure out if it was the same expression that she had given him all those years before. He couldn’t remember.

His mind couldn’t remember.

But.

There was an interlude mid-act. He had made up his mind. He excused himself from his friends, mumbling the excuse of the bathroom. It was nerve-wracking to cut himself away from that safety. He didn’t have to do this. There was no ill feeling.

Just helplessness.

He moved through the crowd, winding between the people. Right there. There was so much noise. Conversations. Laughter. Drunken bickering. But all he could hear was silence. Bodies pushed up against him, bumping into him by accident, mumbling out apologies. But all he could feel was the suggestion of a touch, the faded peppermint gum love, grasping for a memory that he couldn’t seem to recall.

His finger tapped her shoulder.

He just wanted to know something.

“Do you still feel the same as you did back then?”

After the hey, how have you been, after the look of recognition and half-amused smile and the flutter of his heart, after the small talk of where are you now, he asked her the question. Those things were only the precursor. The filler and fluff. The pretense to the question that had been on his mind for a long, long time now.

“About what?” she asked, tilting her head curiously.

“I don’t know if you remember…” He didn’t either, actually. Remember her original words. “But you said that you didn’t think you could ever understand love. You said something like that to me a long time ago and I wonder… I wonder if that feeling has changed.”

He knew it was a strange question and yet.

He just…

Needed to know.

The shadows in her eyes became darker, impenetrable. “Sounds like something I’ve said. But, are you asking me because you think that feeling should have changed?”

He shook his head quickly. “No.” Looked at her head-on, unsure if this bravery was from alcohol or the question itself that had been lingering in his mind for so long. “I remembered what you said after all this time because…”

Hot and heavy, but ultimately forgettable nights.

Cold and bright.

Unable to last and, yet, lasted.

“Because I think now I am beginning to understand what you meant.”

There was a lot of noise around them, but he barely noticed. There was so much light, so many people around them, but this moment was a spotlight between him and the past cold brightness. The shadows in her eyes softened, no longer bristling thorns, fading into a dark forest of overlapping leaves. He couldn’t know, but he felt those eyes were different now. Darker. More decisive. And yet, in some ways she hadn’t changed at all. One of the things that he had always liked about her back then was that she always answered him seriously and wisely even if the question seemed out of the blue.

They always had an inexplicable closeness, even as strangers.

She was even more beautiful and more attractive than he remembered though.

“I lied,” she admitted with a half-smile. Was that a sparkle of mischief in her irises or was he seeing things? “I remember what I said to you. It had upset you a lot, I remember, when I said I didn’t understand love. You cried. It must have hurt you, but I couldn’t understand why back then. Back then, I said I didn’t understand love because I both didn’t want to learn and couldn’t feel it. Only the latter is true now. Or, rather, I don’t think I feel the same things that other people feel when they are with the people they love. But why do you say you’re beginning to understand that I meant?”

His body remembered the feeling of her hand on his shoulder. Now, their relations weren’t close enough for her to touch him. He didn’t remember crying but he wasn’t surprised to be told that he did. When he was younger, he had been a bit of a crybaby. Just because he didn’t recall didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

But.

His heart could still feel that deep scratch of those familiar words, even now.

“When I met you back then… I thought I knew everything about love. Love was for good people. I wanted to be a good person so I could be loved. All I had to do was become the person that people wanted to love. But then I realized I wasn’t doing the things I wanted to do, only what was expected of me. Then you told me you didn’t understand love and I, someone who wanted to be loved by you, realized I had nothing to fall back on because I was only made of others’ expectations and ideals.”

He shook his head. He did remember crying after they parted. He remembered trying to make the sadness go away. He remembered nights in beds and stumbling home to cry in the shower, feeling disconnected in the physical connection. He remembered nights alone, empty bottles and holding a shot glass of tears, feeling unable to speak about this to anyone. Lost without knowing how to be found. Doing things based on impulse because only impulses were truly his and not poisoned by the opinions of others. Laughing at the search of happiness. Above all, he had been afraid. He had been afraid to give voice to his worries because then maybe they would gain power and overtake him.

But then he remembered the person who didn’t understand love.

There was such a person that existed out there.

He wondered how she was now.

“I wanted to tell you…”

And now he knew.

“I wanted to tell you I understand now. Or… don’t. Um.”

She smiled at him.

It was not the same way as she looked at the guitarist.

“Huh, you’ve become so mature and grown up. Well, welcome to the smoke-and-mirrors of adulthood, Jeon Jungkook,” she chuckled teasingly, shaking her head. “I scarred you that bad, eh?”

“No, I didn’t mean–”

She raised a hand to stop him, waving away his apology. “No, it’s okay. I’m surprised you still remember me. And don’t hate me. A lot of them hate me.”

Your mind might forget me, but the body always remembers.

His body did remember.

“A lot of them?” he echoed, a muscle in his jaw tightening.

The faintest tick of her eyebrow. “You gonna tell me you have all these tattoos and piercings and don’t get laid?”

His heart dropped. “You don’t like them?” He blurted that a little too fast.

She laughed. “My opinion of them doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes, it does,” was his quick reply.

She paused. The shadows in her eyes swirled. He tried to discern their meaning as he stared into those dark irises but the shadows were all evasive and clever, flitting away from him playfully. When she spoke again, there was a sternness to her tone. Not scolding him. Just getting her point across.

“Answer the question of whether or not you get laid.”

Hot and heavy nights that meant nothing compared to the cold and bright scratch on his heart.

“I…”

The tips of his ears suddenly burned but maybe it was the alcohol.

“I do. But I haven’t remembered or been bothered to remember a single thing they’ve said to me,” Jungkook heard himself say and wondered where that bravery came from.

She didn’t say anything for a moment.

Then she smiled in the way that made him shiver.

“Hyungu is gonna be pissed,” she laughed as the sound of a guitar riff pierced the air.

Oh, shit.

The spotlight faded.

Everything rushed back. Sound, color, light. It suddenly became very clear that he was too far and too long gone from his friends to go back now and face them. Jungkook spun around, seeing that the crowd had packed up tightly again. To his dismay, he had no idea where his friends were. They were no longer in that little pocket they had been. Did they get closer to the stage? Had they seen where he had gone? Did one of them text him? He was afraid to pull out his phone, both in rudeness and in the possible mortifying teasing. His phone was always on silent, at least. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

He turned back.

The melody echoing behind him was sharp and bright chords followed by a soulful voice.

She had been looking at the stage but immediately caught his gaze with a surprised expression. As if she hadn’t expected him to stay once the music started. And he shouldn’t, for it was rude and intrusive and inconsiderate to stay and invade a stranger’s space any longer.

But.

“You didn’t give me an answer.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

He pulled up the sleeve of his charcoal hoodie, revealing more of his tattoos. Her eyes tracked the movement, widening in surprise at the burst of color combined with thick black outlines. She had been able to see some of them, as his sleeves had been pushed up slightly, but it was much more obvious with the cuffs to the elbows. His forearm was covered with ink and there was no sign of stopping past the black patch in his inner elbow.

He looked back at her.

For a moment, they were young again.

Haloed by music, immersed in each other. A movie in real life. Suddenly it felt worth it – worth taking the risk of being rude, intrusive, or inconsiderate. Suddenly, it felt worth rolling the die and betting double just to…

Have a taste of that peppermint flavor.

“Yes or no?” he insisted, frowning, stubbornly pushing for an answer.

Deep down, Jungkook had always hoped she was thriving, shining brighter than all the stars, because then it proved that he, someone who also felt like he didn’t understand love, could be as impactful as that sparkling smile.

The corner of her lips ticked up in amusement. “Does a stranger’s opinion matter that much? I thought you weren’t going to let the opinions of others bother you anymore.”

Are we really strangers?

He grinned. “A stranger’s opinion would be the most unbiased, right?”

Can strangers speak like the way you and I do?

She stared at him for seconds that felt like forever-ever-afters.

Then she laughed, reaching up with a graceful hand and touching her fingertips to her forehead. His breath caught his throat, suddenly flooded with memories of youth and rashness, short as it was. He could see it all in a whirlwind. Crystal clear and fleeting all at once. A perfect storm and now caught in the eye, all of his wonders and helplessness thrown to the wayside upon seeing this familiar gesture that he didn’t even know until now was familiar, realizing now just how precious it was.

She lowered her hand with a mirthful and sparkling expression.

Beckoned with a downward wave as the music swelled, dangerously close to melting into the bridge.

“Step closer. You’re in someone’s way.”

Jungkook jolted, stumbling, realizing there was a short woman with carrying three full cups of foamy, honey-colored beer looking confusedly at him.

“Oh, shit, sorry–”

Her hand touched his shoulder, directing him gently.

His body moved but his mind froze at the touch.

“Listen. This is my favorite part. I’ll tell you after.”

One moment, there was space between them.

The next, he was standing next to her.

She tapped the air, closing her eyes.

“Listen.”

He closed his eyes obediently. Took away the visual, and suddenly his world was flooded with the auditory. An intricate guitar solo to bring life to his fluttering heart blending with piano and drums flowing together. Memories flashing past, too fast to grasp onto, happiness and misery, and then the bridge came, the lyrics painting the photo of two colorless roses abandoned by the heavens.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

Her eyes opened at the final chorus, exhaling softly. Turned her head and he could see in the shadows of her gaze that she, too, remembered their minty whirlwind of memories.

Or…

Was he just hoping for that?

She smiled.

“I love your tattoos and piercings. You suit them well. I’m glad you found your own color, Jeon Jungkook. You shine so much brighter now than you did back then.”

It was at this moment that he knew...

He fucked up.

He shouldn’t have walked over here. He shouldn’t have asked the question. He shouldn’t have stayed and continued the conversation. He shouldn’t have asked if she liked how he looked now. He should have stayed with his friends and wondered. He should have preserved in the hot and heavy instead of searching for the past of crisp and bright. He might get used to it. He might end up finding what he was looking for, whatever it was. Or, better yet, he might just forget this whole feeling and her lasting words if he never saw her smile as she spoke to him again.

But he didn’t, so that meant he really fucked up.

Pit-a-pat.

He stared at her for so long that he didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything in reply until the song ended and her expression changed, tilting her head in puzzlement. She thinks I’m insane. Say something, Jungkook! Anything! But nothing was coming to mind, as how it always was in these situations. Awesome.

“Uh…”

She smoothly interrupted his awkwardness. “Did you come with friends?” Expression neutral. “I would hate to keep you from your company for too long.”

The notable shift from more casual to formal slightly stung.

No.

Really stung.

“I… Well, honestly, I don’t know where they are,” Jungkook confessed, scanning the crowd for a moment in attempt to look for them. It was a half-assed attempt, but it was an attempt. “I think I’ll have to look for them after the show. We’re meeting up with the band to eat, I think.”

“Oh? You know them?”

He pointed awkwardly to the stage. “Ah, yeah, the lead singer… We met in high school and are in the same friend group… Well, I’ve only recently started hanging out outside again. We’ve played a lot of online games together.”

“Oh, really?” She looked back up to the stage. “In that case, do you think your friends would mind if Hyungu tagged along?” A cautious smile. “It’s just… Hyungu-ah is in a band too, but they’re on hiatus right now. A few of them are doing military service. I think he really misses that environment. I can’t really talk music with him though, I don’t know anything,” she added ruefully, shaking her head and scrunching her nose. “Sorry, that’s probably a bit much to ask you after seeing you all this time. I’m just worried about that introvert, haha.”

Oh, right. The substitute guitarist. Right, because she didn’t simply magically appear as an act of fate or red string level of storytelling in a drama. Real life wasn’t like that.

“S-Sure, we can all go together–”

She was asking him to suggest or go along with the proposition to not alienate the guy. It was clear that she cared about him. He didn’t want to see them together, but… If she became part of his friend group, he might have a reason to go out more. Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he just wanted to see if she was happy with that guy. Maybe he…

Okay, he wanted her to be close, even if it was all futile.

She relaxed. “Ah, phew. It really did take me a while to convince him to get out of the house,” she chuckled. “It’ll be nice for him to be around people that understand his true language of music, haha. I’ll stick around just in case, but don’t worry, I’ll leave and let you guys be guys, heh.”

Wait.

What?

Jungkook blinked rapidly. “Huh? Aren’t you coming too?”

She stared back. “Huh? Why?”

He looked at her and she looked at him.

Both blank stares of confusion.

“Why wouldn’t you go with your boyfriend?” he blurted.

Invisible question marks popped up over her head. Then she jolted and jerked her head to the band, to the blue-haired guitarist tearing it up on stage with a grin, then back at Jungkook, her eyes wide. “Me? Me?” She pointed to herself quickly, half-laughing in disbelief. “Me and Kang Hyungu?”

Jungkook gawked.

She burst out laughing.

“Oh, fuck, no, no, no,” she puffed, waving her hand all over. “No, no, he’s not… Oh, sheesh, no, we’re not dating. You thought… hah, sorry, there’s a misunderstanding here, hahaha…” She flicked her hand downward as if that idea was so ridiculous that it needed to be physically slapped out of existence. “Ah, no, how can I explain…”

Huh?

Wait, didn’t she mention earlier that his Kang Hyungu was going to be angry? She did directly say, Hyungu is gonna be pissed, right after Jungkook had told her he never bothered to remember what other girls told him, which would imply… argh, this was very baffling and Jungkook found his scatterbrained thoughts spinning trying to comprehend it all.

She straightened and ticked her head to the stage. “Me and him are just friends. We’ve been friends are a long time. Sorry, I can see why you’re mistaken since I came here with him, but Hyungu-ah is the type that really doesn’t like new situations. When he got asked to fill in for another band, he wanted me to come with him, since he wouldn’t know anybody. I believe he said he only spoke to these guys a couple times at festivals and he just needed some moral support.” She grinned. “Ya know, a tough cookie in case things get tough, hehe.”

Jungkook understood but also he was confused. “O… Oh…”

She motioned away his doubts. “In his words, you’re scary, noona. I’d feel much better if you came with me. Can you believe this guy? Just admit you’re lonely.” She rolled her eyes. “Hyungu-ah is a guitar genius. He’s a music nerd. I’ve known him since…” She paused, a dark shadow casting over her eyes as she recalled the past. “I was asked to tutor him when he was in high school and I was finishing university. He was shit at math and science. I helped him pass and then I…”

And again.

That pause.

Jungkook got the feeling she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him or not.

She shrugged. “I moved away. Then I saw his name on a poster. Turns out this nerd made his dream a reality and started that band after all.” Her expression became fond. Gentle. “I went to go see him perform. I was surprised he recognized me, actually. Hah, kinda like–”

Her gaze shifted to him.

It was as if time stopped.

She continued, clearing her throat. “Anyway, I’m not dating anyone. Definitely not Hyungu. He’s more like a little brother to me. Or I’m more like a bodyguard, heh. With only intimidation tactics. I really should work out, huh…”

He frowned. “Have you talked about him before? I would have remembered someone so important to you.”

“Nah, I think you and me was after university. When I was being a slu–” She cut herself off. “Ahem, I mean, I was young and didn’t really want to deal with, well, anything. Running from myself, so to speak.” She sighed. A little heavy. “I meant to say sorry, back then. You got caught up with my madness.”

She winked.

Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat.

“But, hey, you dodged a bullet, eh?”

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. That burst between them wasn’t there anymore.

Right?

Wrong.

He grinned.

“Nah, I’m bulletproof.”

Something about her.

Do you feel it too?

Her gaze sharpened and she stilled, mischief sparkling in her eyes.

“Oh, yeah?”

-

Well.

Can’t say you expected the events of tonight to be on this year’s bingo card.

You laid in bed and scrolled through your phone, but you didn’t pay much attention to anything on the screen. On one hand, you felt a little restless leaving Kang Hyungu to fend for himself with his low alcohol tolerance. On another hand, he was a grown man and would call you in the middle of the night to pick him up if he was really fucked up. Eh, he was too much of a good boy to be irresponsible.

You chuckled to no one in particular.

You were alone, after all.

It was a miracle, really, that little Hyungu still wanted to be your friend now.

In some ways, he was still the same kid you had met all those years ago. You didn’t really interact with him much as you were a couple years older and, well, a girl. You couldn’t really look at him either, all things considering. After all, wasn’t it highly probable that the bags under his eyes was your family’s fault? Your family and his family happened to be next-door neighbors at the apartment complex.

No one really talked about it.

In certain areas, the sounds of yelling and thrown dishes were simply background noise. Normal circumstances. The first near two decades of your life was that every day. Most of the time, your presence was as insignificant as a cockroach. Sometimes you would be spoken of but never spoken to. You learned from a pretty young age to shut up or be forced to shut up. The family motto was, children are not meant to be seen or heard. The adults were speaking. More accurately, arguing, escalating to screaming, and then to scalding silent treatment. Repeat cycle. You learned to snatch food from the fridge as soon as you saw it. No one was going to prepare anything for you, but at least there was always something edible in there.

Until you became a teenager, that was.

It got especially bad when you attended high school as both sides picked up hideous habits to deal with their issues. In your opinion, they should have picked divorce to deal with them, but instead they chose gambling and serial cheating. Sometimes neither would come home for days. Whenever they crossed paths, the endless war continued. There was no way to predict when the silence could become suddenly violate and now you were old enough to understand what was going on – and old enough to loathe it. You barely saw your next-door neighbors at that time because you did basically anything you could to avoid going home. There was only so much a child can take.

They either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

It was also about this time that you started using sex as a coping mechanism.

Approval by society wasn’t high on the list for you at that time, nor was it now. Must have been the upbringing. You watched alcohol become an expensive addiction for your parents and, paired with their mindless days at the casinos and excess spending on extramarital pleasures, illegal drugs were out of the question. Sex, however. If you knew what clinics to go to or where to shoplift, well. Free protection. Yup. During university, though, was when you needed money. You couldn’t go far as you couldn’t pay to live in a dorm. Your scholarships were barely covering tuition, so living at home was the only option. At this point, your parents had mostly forgot forgot that there was someone they birthed living in the apartment with them, which was fine by you, except when you needed to eat.

How Kang Hyungu knew things he shouldn’t know was a mystery you never figured out.

You had gotten locked out, again, and some loud dispute was happening behind the door. Deadbolted. It was shaping up to be a shit night – that was until a tall high schooler with a guitar bag approached the door to your right. You tried not to look at him and decided you would leave to find a PC bang to spend the night. But he must have seen your university-branded bag and called out your family name.

That was when Kang Hyungu started talking to you.

He must have noticed the many times that you had been locked out. Well, how could he ignore it? You didn’t want to do the small talk thing except for immediately informing him with your given name. However, your ears perked up when he mentioned that he needed help with math and science classes. He was looking to pay a tutor. Cram school was pretty expensive. Turns out you both had attended the same high school – of course, considering you lived in the same damn apartment building – and the high school posted notices about alumni that had received scholarships. That shit was a big deal to educators.

That was how you ended up in a basement studio room listening to five high schoolers make songs for hours and teaching them calculus, biology, and chemistry. All of them ended up being mild levels of garbage at those subjects, but it made teaching in a group much more efficient. It was thanks to Hyungu that you were able to eat all of university. Honestly, you didn’t really need the money as much as you needed somewhere to be. Yeah, it was pretty clear that Hyungu knew that somehow. He was a lot more observant than you gave him credit for. Neither of you really talked about it even though you should have.

Maybe, then…

When you graduated university, it was clear you had to leave. It was clear you had to put some distance between you and those who birthed you. Turns out, they did it for you, because one day you came home from job hunting and you didn’t have a home anymore. The apartment door was open and some random people were moving in. Cool. A talk with the leasing office, then. Turns out your parents moved out and didn’t bother to tell you. Together? Separately? Who the fuck knew. You found a box of your clothes in the dumpster along with some other random shit. Your birth certificate, even.

Your entire existence thrown in the trash.

It had really not been the best time.

Couple months of living strictly from PC bangs and business hotel rooms, you started a desk job at minimum wage. Funny how a degree didn’t do much but whatever. You also continued your not-so-great coping mechanism of fucking around, which is how you met Jeon Jungkook. He definitely had a different idea of how it all went down, but.

You paused, seeing that you had pulled up your phone contacts and there he was.

Even through changed models, your phone contacts transferred over. You never bothered to clear them out unless the person was worth blocking. Jeon Jungkook wasn’t worth blocking. The breakup, if you could call it that, was pretty simple. You said what you said and he didn’t fight you. You didn’t need his number in the years after, but you forgot about thinking you needed to delete unused numbers. You didn’t really forget him, though.

He was the only one that you felt sorry for breaking his heart.

He hadn’t been your type back then. Your type had been self-destructive, and you had become tired of that, so you chased for the complete opposite instead. You knew full well that it wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t even go into it invested. But you chose well, and he was the complete opposite. He trusted everything you said. He put up with your cold front. He liked you more than you liked him and he had no idea that he did. In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised that he wouldn’t care even if he knew. He was good in bed too. Eager, quick to learn, and listened to everything you said. Tried everything you asked without questioning or judging. It was precisely why you broke it off before it got too deep, because it got too deep way too fast.

He thought of you too highly when, at that time, you were too low to be anything above a grey area.

Aren’t you afraid I’ll forget you?

Just by asking you that, you never forgot Jungkook. He was the only one who seemed worried about that. Everyone else called you a heartless bitch or a dumb whore who was making a mistake. But Jungkook asked you if you were afraid that he would lose your memory, as if it was valuable enough to be tarnished.

Life worked in mysterious ways.

The happening of you seeing Hyungu’s name on a poster was by chance. The choice to go to that concert back then was on a whim. The chance of Hyungu recognizing you and coming to find you, dragging you to his bandmates that all yapped excitedly around you as if no time had passed was surprising. You had always thought they had forgotten or resented you on some level. After all, you didn’t have a working phone for a while since you couldn’t pay for a plan. You had essentially ghosted them for years, but Hyungu acted as if you had always been there. I’ll never forget that you took good care of me, noona. There was no way you could even attempt to date Kang Hyungu. How could you ruin a relationship that he kept preserved so preciously when you abandoned it? He spoke highly of you even when you hadn’t been around, even when you had been too busy being selfish and self-centered. He smiled at you and relied on you once again because he trusted that you could be relied on. You would sigh and be hauled around by these young loons and support their blooming music career as you got your footing and made it to a better desk job with better pay.

And, by some fate, being close to Kang Hyungu caused you to cross paths with Jeon Jungkook once again.

Weird, eh?

You lowered your phone, staring up at the ceiling.

Well, life was full of coincidences, right? There was no reason to think this was a special event. After all, you had been trying your best to forget that time in your life where you felt the most lost. It took a lot of pushing past your own stubbornness to realize that how your parents felt about you had nothing to do who you were. Accepting that you weren’t the worst fuckup ever to exist, thanks to the saving grace of someone who remembered to call you noona in an endearing way and not in an obligated way. It would be counterproductive to…

Jeon Jungkook’s smiling face flashed in your mind.

You only had one orb-shaped lamp on currently. It was one of those that you could set the lighting color and tone to your taste. You liked the low, moody, cool blue lighting. Besides, you knew the layout of your apartment by now, and the overhead lighting wasn’t necessary unless you needed to look for something.

The orb shone like the moon.

Jungkook had known such a different version of you and yet he still smiled at you like that.

“You must have somebody, don’t you?” you sighed to the shining moon.

It was silly to think too much about a random conversation. And, really, all he wanted to know was if you still found him hot or whatever. Yeah, he was just looking for external validation. You just happened to be there. Tattoos and piercings and working out? Sounded like a quarter life crisis to you. One that worked out in his favor, though. Your skin prickled with goosebumps, but it wasn’t from a tangible cold.

In the darkness, the moon-shaped light glowed brightly.

“It would be nice if you had somebody.”

You frowned and turned your back to the light.

It was a coincidence. Another moment of going through life and realizing you had been climbing Penrose stairs all along. How different were you from back then, really? It wasn’t as if you magically started getting into relationships and had a damn epiphany. The cruel epiphany was that we were all stuck in this endless loop of our respective pasts catching up to the present. No amount of heat could dissipate the coldness of the future.

You sighed, melting into the comfort of your cool bedsheets.

“I should just forget about Jeon Jungkook,” you mumbled.

Whatever.

Wasn’t like you were ever gonna see him again.

You dozed off.

Your phone vibrated against your chest.

-

“You idiot, you know you have no tolerance…”

“Noona, it was so fun, ahahaha…”

The air was cold. The sting of winter clung to his cheeks. He called out her name, feeling like the sound was drowned out by the cars and white noise in his head, but, once again, Jeon Jungkook completely forgot how loud he was.

Passersby jumped as he ran past clutching a guitar bag.

Her arms were wrapped around a blue-haired man who was dwarfing her frame. He looked half-asleep and too proud of himself but that was probably under the influence of alcohol and good vibes. She jolted, startled, her eyes widening as Jungkook skidded to a questionably close stop in front of them, nearly colliding into her.

In fact, he did.

“Woah!”

“Yah!”

He threw an arm out and around them, snapping back to hold the three of them up, pressing the guitar bag to her chest. There they were, a bundle of people who somehow ended up like this with a guitar cuddled between them, standing in the middle of the sidewalk at midnight with nightlife bystanders staring at them like they were all insane. At least Kang Hyungu was completely oblivious. Come to find out during dinner, he had low alcohol tolerance. Less than a soju bottle low. Welp. Nobody had believed him and he had given in a bit. At least he had the backup plan of a close friend picking him up. The group of guys had all stayed at the restaurant, making sure he was safe until she arrived, flushed and windswept, bowing repeatedly in thankfulness.

Therefore, Kang Hyungu was blissfully unaware of the sudden awkwardness of past lovers staring at each other with their stunned faces millimeters from each other.

Jungkook froze, holding her tight.

“H… His guitar…”

Her lips parted but no sound came out.

In his shock, he had only now realized she had removed her makeup. His heartbeat leapt to his throat, suddenly remembering how much he had loved the shape of her eyes and the color of her natural, full lips. How her cheeks seemed more filled out now. Healthier. Her skin glowed. He could almost…

Almost.

His body shivered.

She blinked, casting her eyes down. “Oh, shit, how could I forget… T-Thank you. He would be heartbroken without his precious guitar,” she breathed out quickly and exasperatedly, reaching up to grab the strap. “Thank you. Sorry to trouble you.”

“It’s o-okay…”

Jungkook reluctantly peeled away from her, taking a step back. There was an awkward moment of her still holding onto her friend and shouldering the guitar, juggling between the two. Even in that short moment, Jungkook realized Kang Hyungu must work out. He was not as light as he seemed. Instinctively, Jungkook reached out and held Hyungu’s shoulders when the guitar slipped from her narrow shoulder.

“Aw, fuck–”

Jungkook almost laughed at her puffed cheeks and under-the-breath swearing.

Almost, because his heart ached suddenly.

She had been so cute when she was mad, even if it was being taken out on him. He always thought that, so it had always been hard to argue when he was trying not to be in love with those cheeks.

“Sorry, I got him,” she sighed. “I’ll get him home even if I have to drag him.”

“I’ll help you, noona.”

She froze with her arms around another man. Her eyes darted and fixated on him.

Jungkook realized his mistake and also froze.

He had been calling her formally by name out of politeness until now. The same way strangers would address each other with no intention of ever meeting again. The honorific had just slipped out naturally. Or unnaturally, depending on how one considered the effects of alcohol. The blue-haired guitarist was half-asleep on her shoulder. There were only two conscious souls under this streetlamp on this cold night.

A diffused spotlight.

He sputtered. “S… Sorry, was that too informal…?”

Her gaze shifted. Were her cheeks pink from the crisp air or was it his eyes playing tricks on him? “No, it’s fine, I just…” She shook her head, swallowing hard. “It’s been a while since you… It’s okay,” she chuckled, the corner of her lips rising. “I mean, I would be pissed if you called me anything else. Our age difference is not that significant, but it’s there.”

“Y-Yeah.”

Was there hope in those shadowy eyes or was it all in his mind?

“Don’t you have to go home too?”

He grinned.

“Ah, I stay up until three in the morning every night anyway. Let’s get Hyungu-ssi home.”

-

Which was how you ended up on a bus with not-so-little-anymore Kang Hyungu snoring on your left shoulder and your past fling Jeon Jungkook on your right.

Awkward.

You clutched Hyungu’s guitar bag like your life depended on it. Actually, deep down you were kind of glad it somehow ended up this way. Being on a bus at midnight meant the crowd was the unpleasant kind. It must have been an odd sight. Sleeping Hyungu by the window, you in the middle seat holding a very expensive guitar, and Jungkook at the aisle being a great big buffer to keep the unsavory folk away. He was wearing a thick black parka over his charcoal sweat set, and he had his hood up to protect his ears from the cold.

For some reason, his jaw was clenched.

His eyebrows were furrowed too, giving him a very mean appearance for no reason. Or, at least, no discernable reason you could conclude. He wasn’t looking at anyone in particular as far as you could tell.

“Sorry about this,” you suddenly said.

Jungkook flinched and turned his head to look at you. Instantly, his expression burst into life, the stern expression melting away into sparkling big peepers and pink lips in a small ‘o’, making your breath catch as the small mole under his lip appeared.

You used to kiss that mole first before you kissed his lips.

Used to.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he replied with a smile.

“I feel like I cut your night short.”

He gave you a lopsided grin, scratching his cheek. “Eh, I can go to the club or karaoke bar some other time. And maybe I need to not be so easily influenced, ahahaha…”

You hummed. “Guess you’re still the same, going along with our people’s suggestions.”

He puffed his cheeks. “No, I’m not. I’m here with you now, aren’t I?” he shot back.

Pause.

You both looked away at the same time.

Hyungu snored softly in your ear.

Thanks for that, man.

You tried to ignore the creeping goosebumps along your back. It was not the outside temperature. You were wearing your big black leather jacket over the black sweatshirt and jeans you yanked on to quickly get out the door. Your shoulder bumped into Jungkook’s as the bus stopped and let some passengers off. It was still a few stops yet of this awkwardness. For fuck’s sake, you were the older one. Come on. You resisted the urge to slap your own cheeks to get a grip. Nothing is going on here. The heart palpitations were in your head. Yeah. Totally.

“Thank you, again.”

You felt him shift, sitting up straighter. “I really don’t mind at all, noona.”

You sat up too, casting him a sideways half-smile.

He bit the left side of his lip, mumbling.

“I never minded doing anything for you.”

A strange tingling sensation danced over your scalp and down your shoulders. Sigh. He was doing this on purpose, right? One look and of course not. You shut your eyes. Maybe you could just make up a reason to hate him. You thought you had lost him under other bodies and darker nights and bad decisions. You thought he hated you for ending it the way you did, so coolly and unfeelingly. You thought.

“Have you been happy, Jungkook?”

You felt him hesitate. You could almost remember how he smelled back then. Like crisp linens and bright cotton. He loved fabric softener and similar clean scents. Have you been happy after me? You hoped so. In retrospect, you had been such a small, meaningless part in this winding road of life.

“I… I guess? I’m doing things I like to do. I feel like I’m able to live more freely, and I figure I can just… keep doing what I’m good at.”

You smiled.

“That’s good.”

You opened your eyes.

“What about you, noona?”

Have I been happy?

Did you even know what that meant? And yet you felt the weight of precious Hyungu’s head against your shoulder. Someone who relied on your good heart wholeheartedly. Never mind your opinion of if your heart was good or not, or even there. Happy? You went to work. You enjoyed your hobbies like music and games. You stayed home and shopped online when you were bored. You had the money to buy your favorite snacks and you had the luxury to have poor time management to eat them at midnight and wake up puffy the next day.

You had a very simple life that your younger self could barely dream of.

I don’t want to end up like my parents.

Was that why you didn’t want to be in a relationship?

“Noona?”

You looked up suddenly, noticing your surroundings. Quickly pulled on the cord to create the gentle bell tone.

“We need to get off here.”

-

Somehow, Jungkook ended up in a stranger’s corner apartment surrounded by vinyl, boxed CD albums, and music equipment. It was on a lower floor so at least they didn’t have to climb any stairs to get to the front door. The living room area was less like a living room and more like a half-music studio, complete with guitars, speakers, and a computer with lots of expensive looking music equipment around it. The surrounding walls had black foam squares taped neatly, even on the ceiling. The rest of the wall space was occupied by posters of various indie and mainstream bands. He was surprised to see the few plushies of penguins on the couch. Along the wall of the stairs were flyers that each had a corresponding nail that hung lanyards with plastic cards – artist passes. Festivals and concerts and such, each one containing a recurring name if he looked closely enough.

He, along with his past lover, helped the young man he had just met tonight into the bed in the loft area.

It was a small space.

Somehow, they managed being that close.

“Thanks, again,” she sighed, descending down the stairs in front of him. “You must be thirsty. There has to be some water around here.”

Somehow, Jungkook found himself standing in the hallways of a stranger’s apartment drinking a bottle of water as he watched the one who got away rip a memo note off a pad and scribble something down, finding a Pingu mug to sandwich it under.

Somehow.

She turned around and sighed, looking relieved. The guitar bag was on the sofa, safe and sound.

Then they stared at each other, realizing they were now alone.

Well, not alone.

Above them, Kang Hyungu was in dreamland.

“Ah…”

Her shoulders slumped.

“Sorry, I didn’t even ask how out of your way this was. I’ll pay for a taxi back.”

“Ah, no, that’s okay. I can make my way.”

“Don’t be like that,” she scolded, although not with much severity. “I can’t take advantage of your kindness.”

He paused, staring into her eyes. They hadn’t turned on too many lights. Enough to see, and then turned off most of them right away to avoid waking up the neighbors with the brightness. Only the warm bulb by the door was on now, illuminating them together.

“Noona, can I ask you something?” he asked softly, realizing his voice shook a little.

She lifted her head, pulling her hands out of her pockets.

“Yeah, of course. What is it?”

Have you ever been in love?

He looked at her, and he remembered the question she didn’t answer on the bus. They had been hurried and trying not to inconvenience anyone. Now that what about you was lost in the whirlwind of sights, sounds, in time past. Jungkook was pretty sure that he knew what the line of love and distraction was, but he found he had no real words to describe it. Only a feeling of sureness, just as he was sure that if he asked this question, have you ever been in love, he would be overstepping a boundary somehow.

Mostly because it seemed obvious.

And also because it was not fair to ask questions that he was personally invested in the answer and honestly didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer.

Had he ever been in love? Sure, although he knew it was always with the caveat of what he knew at the time and driven by the image painted by his own parents. A miracle that he had a chance to witness. He hadn’t really thought about how deeply seeing them interact affected him until he met her. She never spoke about her parents. It was like they didn’t exist. No photos, no calls, no casual drop-bys to hand over a home-cooked meal and say hi. In contrast, Jungkook had the unfortunately mortifying moment of being balls deep and then interrupted by his own mother right before the big finale. She just silently laughed while hiding behind the door as his mom attempted to enter his apartment, why are there clothes all over the floor, aish, I keep telling you that I didn’t teach you to be messy, and him trying to reassure her that everything was fine and he had to be somewhere soon.

Yeah.

Anyway.

It the time it had been embarrassing, but she had told him something that had, again, stuck with him for a long time after. You are lucky that she takes the time to bother you. Some people would do anything to have their parents care for their well-being just one more time. The realization had humbled him. Sorry. I didn’t know your parents passed away. But she had just shaken her head with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

No, Jungkook, they’re very much alive. They just never cared about me, ever.

He had felt very sorry then, but she had waved her hand and laughed.

Don’t be. I can’t miss something I’ve never had.

It was then that Jungkook realized that he believed in love because his parents were in love. It was later when Jungkook realized that he, too, had been in love, but this was only after he had stopped seeing her. Only after he stopped tasting her strong, concentrated flavor. The world had become a tasteless future despite all the color and saturation trying to grab his attention.

Because she had left.

It might have been short, but that time had been a forever-after packed into a few months.

Jungkook jumped as she tapped the back of his hand with her fingertip.

“Hello? Welcome back to Earth. Did you enjoy your time spacing out?”

She looked amused.

“Guess you haven’t changed from your random space-outs, heh,” she chuckled, taking his empty water bottle and tossing it in the recycling. Even removed the paper label and everything. “Come on. You shouldn’t be interrogating me in Hyungu’s apartment anyway.”

She ushered him out of the apartment and made sure to lock up behind herself. He wondered why she had a key. Then again, her and the guitarist were very clearly good friends. Jungkook wondered if it would still be like that if Hyungu or her started dating. Or, maybe not, if they ended up dating each other.

Suddenly, Jungkook felt incredibly helpless.

She bumped into him because he stopped walking, bouncing off. They were still in the narrow hallway, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb the neighbors at this late hour. The light in the hallway was warm and low. Not due to the night. More because the lightbulbs were generally old and shitty.

“Woah, what’s going on? You don’t know how to walk straight? Do you need a leash?” she whispered lightheartedly, coming around him.

He looked up.

It must have shown on his face because the playful laughter in her features immediately slipped away upon eye contact.

He had millions of unfair questions swirling in his mind, can we try again, is there something wrong with me, why did you leave me, and Jungkook knew he could ask none of them. For fuck’s sake, they had only just seen each other again tonight. He should just be happy they were together now, even in this platonic way. He should just be happy that she seemed healthy and content. He should just…

But you’ve always known me so well.

You aren’t hard to read, Jungkook, she used to laugh when they talked about how fast they had gotten into bed together.

She placed her hand on his elbow.

Dragged from his minty whirlwind memories and thrown into the present, Jungkook stared at her unreadable expression, but there were too many shadows and his vision was too clouded with what was.

“Come on. We can’t stay here,” she murmured gently, pulling him along.

-

“I’m not letting you go home alone. It’s not safe.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? Teleporting?” You scowled. “Besides, turns out your apartment is closer to here and mine is further down. It makes no sense for you to double back.”

One thing about Jeon Jungkook was that once he got an idea in his head, he was more stubborn than an ox. It was true back then when he was chasing after your ass and it was true right now. He was frowning at you and furrowing his eyebrows. The frustrated expression was broken by how big his dark brown eyes were.

“I keep telling you it’s not a big deal for me, noona. I don’t mind.”

“This isn’t about whether or not you mind,” you sighed grumpily. “It just doesn’t make sense. Fine. Fine, do whatever you want.”

Which was how you ended up in a taxi with Jungkook, crammed in the backseat of a tiny sedan with a grandpa who didn’t make small talk and blasted trot music. Well, it probably would have felt less tiny if Jungkook wasn’t right next to you like a big fabric blob. You hadn’t paid much attention to how crowded you had been on the bus since you were already weighed down by half-dead guitarist and his guitar. You had thought Hyungu had been playing up his drunkenness for the attention but he had thoroughly passed out by the time the bus had arrived. He was a lightweight so you weren’t super worried to leave him alone. Then again, you couldn’t tell Jungkook to get lost and leave you at another guy’s apartment, because what kind of message would that send?

Not that Jungkook’s opinion of how you spent your time mattered.

It had just felt rude, that was all.

You were kind of worried about him anyway. You witnessed him zoning out and simply standing there twice already. Boy was gonna get kidnapped one of these days. Sheesh. The car rolled to a stop. You paid the driver through the app and thanked him, getting a wordless nod in return. Cool. Opened the car door and climbed out, followed by a big shadowy blob.

Uh.

The car drove away.

“Jungkook, you should have asked him to drive you to your place,” you pointed out.

Those big brown eyes looked from your apartment complex to you. “Huh?”

Was the heck is on his mind? You sighed and pulled up the taxi app again. “Give me your address. I did say I’ll pay for it.”

“I, erm…”

You looked up at Jungkook’s uneasy tone. Confused. He looked uncomfortable and awkward, not really looking at you in the face.

“I kinda have to go.”

You blinked at him.

He waved his hands. “Eh, it’s fine. I’ll go find a bush or something. Um.”

“Jungkook, I’m not letting you pee in a bush. Do you see this place? You think they’ll let me continue living here after seeing on one of their cameras that my guest peed in a bush?”

He looked from the white walls to the stone fence to the black iron gate to the immaculately clean, very neatly trimmed, small ball-shaped bushes. They weren’t even knee-height. “I-I-I just don’t want you to t-think…” He shifted, wavering a bit. Eyes darting in every direction. “It was all the water and the alcohol earlier, um…” You sighed and turned around to punch in the code. “I didn’t want you to think I’m doing it on purpose.”

You paused.

Then you pushed the gate open and motioned him in.

“Come on before your piss yourself.”

Which was how you ended up sighing as you tossed your jacket onto your large charcoal sofa while Jungkook emptied his bladder in the bathroom of your apartment. At least you hoped that was what he was doing. You weren’t going to be a creep and try to listen for evidence. You flopped down, cozying into the soft but durable fabric. You wouldn’t have brought this couch if it wasn’t for the great deal and the ability for it to be modular, meaning you could lock the pieces together to make a bed and watch television, as well as also having the ability to make it look like an L-shaped sofa when you had guests over so that they didn’t know that you really put the potato in couch potato several times a week.

Hey.

Money well spent.

Of course, you usually only had very few guests over. Occasional one to warm the bed and maybe hosting Hyungu’s band members. Not at the same time. Duh. You weren’t trying to traumatize the five friends you had – Hyungu and the other four band members. Yeah. Wasn’t much, but they existed, even though they were busy right now being Korean men and all that. Soon, Hyungu would be egg-headed and off to duty too. You puffed out your cheeks. Temporary, of course, and yet.

Who knows what could happen?

You were always prepared to find yourself alone.

Wouldn’t be the first time to come home, only to realize home didn’t exist.

It never had.

You heard commotion and Jungkook reappeared, looking relieved. Probably because he was. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off.

You stood up.

You were past the wishing phase. The pretending phase. Past the numbness and looking for promises when there were none. Expectation was only the precursor to disappointment, after all. To be honest, if it wasn’t for your carnal sex drive, you would be past the distractions too. Good to know you weren’t completely ready to throw in the towel yet. If it wasn’t for someone relying on you, you as well have chosen to fade away.

If it wasn’t for…

You made eye contact with Jeon Jungkook, even though you didn’t want to.

Before today, you really wouldn’t have cared about seeing someone you used to date. Past was in the past. You had made a lot of bad decisions. So far, they hadn’t come back to haunt you yet. As you stared into those big brown eyes, frozen in place by your sudden attention, you wondered what you could say to assure him that you were different from back then. You could admit it now. You could admit back then you were weaker than anybody else, fighting your own demons by running away, wondering what was wrong with you to have parents who fought every day and did everything to run away from their internal struggles except the solution of divorce, and you could admit now that you took out that loss on everyone else around you, all the while knowing the reality.

That was just how life was, sometimes.

Life didn’t know fair and unfair. People made choices without caring about the consequences all the time. You didn’t care enough back then, because you knew you wouldn’t know what to do if they cared back. You knew you could never be beloved when you had nothing and no one to call home.

I don’t want to avoid reality, even if I’m afraid.

The past memories flickered like a whirling panorama – Jungkook nervous in front of you, trying to ask about how the automated system worked so he could get ramyeon with the soft-boiled egg at the PC bang in the dead of night. Playing computer games with him, laughing because he wasn’t very good but still trying for some reason. Learning that he wasn’t doing very well in university and that he was trying to do the escapism thing while working on his video editing business on the side. Sharing a bed with him, not saying anything about how all your belongings only fit in one duffel bag. He didn’t have to know. His face between your hands. Kisses that took his worries away. Body to body, warm for the first time in a long time. Your fingertips walking up his chest, all the way to his rattling heartbeat, turning a simple night into a fantasy.

The thought of your actions having any positive effect seemed foreign and impossible.

But maybe that was the victim mentality talking.

“Can I ask you something, Jungkook?”

He looked surprised. “M…Me?”

You hooked your thumbs into the belt loops of your jeans, doing something with your hands so they wouldn’t fidget about. Even now, he was the same. There was still this persistent innocence about him, stubbornly sticking around as if he could be young forever. He still believed in something, even if life kept trying to tell him time and time again that it wasn’t true.

“Do you still have feelings for me?”

You saw the whirlwind flash through his eyes.

Guilt. Nervousness. Uncertainty. Helplessness, wondering if he was asking for something that could never be given. He was still so easy to read. Those big brown eyes couldn’t hide anything and it wasn’t his nature to lie. There were stars in his eyes.

Those stars were tears.

“You said… You said you can’t feel love,” he shuddered, blinking hard.

There wasn’t much space between you and him. Somewhere around a meter. But it felt like light-years of desolate space and sudden heartache from a heart you weren’t sure you had. Maybe you were born with one, but all flowers wither with no care. You were the desert and he was the ocean, at least in the emotional sense.

You wanted to insist.

I can know love!

But, could you?

You collected a breath and nodded. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for back then. For using you, even though you probably don’t think you were used. For breaking the unspoken promise I couldn’t understand.”

Jungkook looked back at you. His voice small, stranded and lost.

“I have never fallen in love after you, noona.”

You were different now, you told yourself, but maybe you weren’t really and that was the problem.

“It’s impossible to fall in love when I have always been in love with you.”

You opened your mouth to tell him that was silly. It had only been a couple months. You hadn’t even really been that attentive. It had been a short-lived romance, if you could call fucking constantly and gaming at the PC bang at three in the morning that. A fleeting gratification. A sharp burst that lit up the timeline of a very long and eventful life that Jeon Jungkook would have. Nothing more.

Just…

A pop of peppermint gum.

You had meaningful relationships. Ones that taught you things about yourself and people. Maybe even ones that other people could consider love, depending on what their definition was.

But, then there was…

Jungkook.

You opened your mouth to tell him he was silly but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Had it been love?

And could it still be love?

“You… You don’t even know what I’m like now,” you blew out, suddenly feeling winded. “I could be a total asshole.” You looked away, tucking your tongue in your cheek.

“But I helped you make sure you got your friend and his guitar home safe?” Jungkook questioned, sounding confused. “Would a total asshole would do that?”

“I don’t know,” you rambled, not so sure about anything anymore. “I mean… you’ve only just met me again after how long?”

“A really long time,” Jungkook answered, frown in his tone.

“Yeah, exactly.” You latched on, not caring that he didn’t even calculate it. “How do you know it’s not rose-tinted glasses and all that?”

He shrugged. Glanced at you. “I don’t really think I have the brainpower for that, noona.”

You stared at him.

Jungkook shrugged again.

You shook your head. “You can’t say that about yourself.”

He scratched his cheek, looking sheepish. “At least I know where I’m still lacking?”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “No, you–”

He beat you to it.

“Do I have to understand?”

You froze, realizing you had taken a few steps towards him, perhaps in hopes of shaking some sense into him. This was crazy. This didn’t make any sense. This was only a coincidence turned convoluted by memories, tangled emotions, circumstance…

“My mind might forget, but my body always remembered. There is only you for me.”

Your head snapped up, seeing his soft smile. The recall was so fierce that it was déjà vu, except you had been the one with the gentle smile and he had been the one lost, wondering if you were afraid of losing his love. Now. His short black hair a little windswept, his dark brown eyes a little glassy, and yet he smiled at you, mole peeking out from under the center of his lower lip. Do I have to understand? To understand was to know and to know was to be sure that you were in love, except that you said so yourself that sometimes the thoughts didn’t quite catch up to the heart.

He looked embarrassed, abruptly looking away, letting out a shaky breath.

“It’s just… I think I knew it all along but, even if I know, it doesn’t mean I can change your mind, ha… ha, can you imagine, running off to track you down, you would just think I’m crazy, and if I jeopardized your happiness for my own selfishness, I don’t think I could live with myself… and, anyway…”

He wasn’t really looking at anything anymore.

“Even if what I wanted was ugly, our time was beautiful.”

You stepped forward.

“It’s a common, basic story, isn’t it? My wish for us to be exceptional is too foolish,” Jungkook laughed weakly. Rambling. Speaking from his heart but still unable to focus on the present.

You reached forward.

“I wanted everything about you. I still do.”

Your fingertip touched his cheek.

“Don’t cry,” you finally said.

He froze.

You wiped away a fallen star, the overhead lights of your apartment catching the tears before Jungkook even realized they were there. You brushed the droplet away, but they were falling, falling, and he turned his head, still not really registering what was happening, even as the base of your palms pressed into his cheeks and swept his tears away, quickly breathless as you were captured by the universes entangled in his eyes. You could feel the wetness on your skin. The shudder in his breath. His hands came up to touch your wrists, and you still believed you couldn’t be enough for him, even now, but your body responded on its own, cradling his face, bringing him to you.

“Please don’t cry,” you said again, softly, and realized you said it because, a long time ago, you would have done anything to have someone tell you that in the past, please don’t cry. So, you told Jungkook instead.

He was someone as precious as a memory.

And, yes, even if your thoughts didn’t catch up right away, you pulled him to you, body to body, feeling him shiver, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this isn’t very manly of me, and like clockwork you told him to shut up and cry, holding him because you remembered he liked to be held. You had told him back then that you weren’t really the type to cuddle, but he had finally confessed late one night that he yearned to be close to you, even if only for a little while, and that he had been afraid to admit it in fear of pushing you away. So, you relented, if only to comfort him and make him happy.

Is that love?

“It’s okay to cry,” you murmured gently, stroking his hair. “It’s just not okay to cry alone.”

He buried his eyes into your shoulder and wept.

He was still in his jacket, swamping you with his frame and excess layers. You placed your arms around his waist under his parka, feeling his warm and shaking frame, gently placing your hands on his shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry… I-I don’t k-know why I’m c-crying…”

“Shh…”

You tugged him along. Step by step, and made him sit on the sofa with you, curled up in a tangle of limbs with your hands on his back. His body was hot from emotion, and he pulled his arms out of his jacket to wipe his nose and eyes with his hoodie sleeves, still not looking at you, and you gave him the privacy, not looking at him either, only holding him as close as possible and keeping his parka on his shoulders, covering you and him together.

“T-This wasn’t how… I t-thought… how I would be hugging you a-again…” Jungkook sobbed quietly, leaning his forehead against your shoulder.

You held him close.

“Yeah, well, nothing is really turning out how you or I planned it. Mostly because neither of us had a plan to begin with.”

He laughed, albeit feebly and wetly, but you just smiled and placed your hand on his head again, running your fingers through his hair. You didn’t have a grand speech planned. You didn’t even really know the right words to say or the correct way to organize your thoughts. You simply leaned him against you, nestled in the cushions, and kept your arms wrapped around him for a long, long time.

-

click here for part ii

--

masterpost

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Does JK manage to make oc dirty talk with him and what does their dirty talk consist of when they're making the bed shake together hehe?

"Fuck" Jungkook growls in my ear while changing positions and now hitting it from the back.

"I will never get tired of this view" he says now leaning back and grabbing my hips and pounding into me at a merciless rate. "Wanna know why I call you Angel?" he groans, pressing me down further between my shoulder blades.

"I asked you a question" he says giving me a sharp thrust and making me yelp at this feeling. "And you know how I hate asking twice" he says and waits for me to answer.

"Why do you c-call me that?" I ask, trying to keep my moans at bay. "It's because this greedy cunt sends me to heaven angel" he says, leaning down a bit to give my clit a good tug leaving me clenching around him tighter.

"Do you like it when I call you that? Tell me, does this dick send you to paradise?" he asks, flipping me over on my back so he can see me while I respond.

"N-no" I say simply and he cocks his brow at me and stops his thrusts, waiting for me to give him an explanation. "It sends me to fucking hell" I say feeling delirious. "Nothing about you makes me feel grateful" I say and I can see that I fucked up by the challenging flame that's lit up his gaze.

"Really? Guess I'll just have to get you to scream my name again, that shows me you're really thankful for the pleasure that I give you. You really don't know how this works now do you princess? After all of this time and you still don't get it" he says while throwing my legs on his shoulders and hitting a spot that he's already abused so much tonight.

"S-shit please" I groan out, not sure if I want him to stop or go harder so I can finally tip over that edge. "Please what Angel? Do you wanna cum?" he taunts, changing his pace to a deeper more sensual pace, now hovering over me, bending me in half.

"Look at me" he says and I do so with a glazed over look in my eye. "What is it that you want?" he asks, taunting me and withholding my orgasm like he already has done time and time again tonight.

"Please make me cum" I say, feeling a sudden urge to cry, hating that he's making me say it. "I thought you weren't thankful to have this dick. Look at you now, so greedy and begging to cum just with one single change in pace. I thought you had more fight in you" he says, brushing his lips against mine.

"I don't think you deserve to cum. Do you think you do?" he says picking up the pace and making me shut my eyes, getting overwhelmed with the constant changes in pace. "Yes I do please please" I continue, regretting my earlier comment.

"Only because you asks so nicely, but be sure to say thank you after pretty. Otherwise next time I won't let you cum. You got that?" he questions and I can hardly think straight at this point, getting closer and closer to that edge.

"Answer y/n" he says through gritted teeth and I let out his name through a choked sob, remembering what he wanted, knowing that I can't last through another round tonight.

"See, that wasn't so hard now was it?" he says, panting after he's come down from his high soon after me.

I'm moments from passing out so he pulls out and decides to leave me be and gets ready to go after he's gone to clean up and calmed down for a minute.

"See you next time" is all he says before placing the room key on the bedside table and grabbing his suit jacket on the way out.

~~~~~~

So... basically his form of making her vocalize what she's feeling is more through taunting and making her beg since there's no way she would do anything beyond that.

Hope that makes sense hehe (also this is barely edited lol)

Thanks for the ask love 💜

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

tumblr keeps exposing me cuz every time i get a notification it says “your crush is at it again” “mind-blowing post from your crush. they’re a favorite of yours, we’ve noticed ❤️”

and i be like WHO tf IS MY CRUSH??? i don’t even have a crush, and i click and it’s you😐

is me drunk anon.

i’m not sure if you talked about this before. you may have, and i have a feeling you did. i just don’t remember, but what are your hcs/theories for Ada’s back story and how she became a merc? (maybe you might want to do them FAQ shit lmao, hehe just a suggestion because i understand it can quiet get a bit tiring answering repetitive questions)

let’s get very deep with this. let’s not glide the surface of the water. i do believe that she started at a very young age. maybe around 9 or 10. and for this whole mercenary thing to work? there is no way she went to public school. was Ada born in China then gained US citizenship, or born in the US? i hc Ada’s parents as immigrants FOR SURE. maybe her family came to the US to escape economic hardships in China? maybe her parents are US citizens but her grandparents are immigrants? i’m only saying this because i believe it’s canon information that Ada is Chinese-American (and honestly i don’t remember seeing where Vietnamese came from), so she can’t be Australian or Canadian lmao

i would go on but this question is for u and not for me lol

k bye (YOU DRINK WATER too FAWK 🫵😤 and eat a something. u need reminding too 🖐️😌)

"they're a favourite of yours," YOU HAVE OTHER FAVOURITES????? >:((((((

im jks dfjkbfdjkssdjkfbskf

HIHIii

sdjkfjskfjksbfs honestly i have answered lots of things and i keep forgetting to link them to my masterlist and im also lazy

OKAYOKAOKAYOKAY so i think the "Ada is Chinese/American" has been a huge misinterpretation based on that one "Ada Wong facts" vid from ink ribbon? the video states that she's Chinese-American and for some reason I think people interpreted that as she's half Chinese / Half white. (i've always interpreted it as just she is Chinese AND lives in America and has grown up partially in America.

also for some reason it seems like Ada (to me) is the only fully asian character because jill has always supposed to be half japanese and they just COMPLETELY got rid of that imo. i refuse to acknowledge that she's half japanese considering they just don't do anything alluding to the fact that she is. she's always been modelled after white models too.

And also a lot of sites including capcom just state that's Ada's "of Chinese descent" and don't specify anything else.

ALSO capcom FUCKED UP REAL BAD IMO by modeling her with a WHITE PERSON'S FACE. ada, a chinese woman, should've NEVER been modelled after a white person. i know that for a bit of damnation? courtenay taylor stated that they modelled it a bit after her because of her face/voice???? but i don't know if it was confirmed, it was just from an interview and she wasn't even sure herself

i think because we have no idea for her backstory and there's no canon backstory there's so much to go on for DDDD: i just have so many thoughts about what kind of life she could've had.

god i just reread this and im rambling a lot just a lot of YAPPING

okay uh

i don't really think she was born in the states tbh. i do think her parents were immigrants or at least she had something that made her go to the states. i like the idea of her having to at least grow up a bit in the states (particularly in her teens) and that's also why i think she doesn't have an accent.

also YEAH i do know a lot of people who have come over from china or some part of asia and they RARELY lose their accent if they come over in their 20s. (most people have defined vocab at this point and unless they actively try to lose their accent or change their vocab, it tends to stay kinda the same. their english will get better, but i've also known people that lost a lot of their english after leaving uni for example) i've only see people lose their accent/never develop one if they have lived in america for 15+ years or grew up for a lot of their childhood/teen years

i know that's confirmation bias lol but considering ada's always had perfect american english, i (personally) can not headcanon that she moved into the states in her 20s. i think that she could've been in the states by the time she's like 7-11.

i'm not a huge headcanon-er of ada having siblings (particularly younger siblings.) also it being the 70s, (if her family complied with the law) she should not/would not have younger siblings (look up "one child law" if you're confused) i can see her having a younger friend that she "wanted as a sister"

i can maybe see ada having an older sibling, but i also hc that her family (similarly to leon and the rest of the re cast lol) have all lost their families in their entirety. (also i KNOW that the "leon lost his entire family" thing hasn't ever really been confirmed, it's just heavily headcanoned)

also

ada is not a chinese name. WONG is, but ada isn't. i've struggled with this and trying to find a reason for this lol other than it just being a fake name. iirc ada is a german name (from it's origins)

NYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING

THAT'S MY SECRET, I'M ALWAYS DRINKING WATER

hehe i go eat something sweet hehe :3

[ahundredtimesover]

Hi Mimi!

I’m only half way through episode one, but if you had to choose what kind of Jungkook is the IWYTS Jungkook is out of BTS’ different comebacks or eras (like is he more like Not Today JK or BST JK or SNTY JK? Or even a mix of ON and I Need U JK?)

Hehe sorry, did that make sense…? 😅 😬

Haha yes it made sense! Thank you for reading 💕

Fun fact ! WSJ JK was the initial peg for this! Like, end of 2020 when this was conceptualized haha I mean—

And he still is! But he’s served so many looks since then that I’m just choosing haha but I’d say, it’s definitely a mix of PTD LA era (lol that late 2021 period) bc uh—

And of course, GOLDEN JK! And just… 2023 JK 😂

[soft4gguk]

Miss Tessa 😖 this is so frustrating but also so good.. i can’t even complain about jk’s actions (or lack thereof) because he and soori has been through so much in a small amount of time and whatever hesitations he had in the past and currently i can’t blame him.. he just want to live inside their bubble but i get the feeling it will pop soon 💔

I get oc’s feeling too because she’s downplayed her emotions so many times and the feeling like you’re only a placeholder until the right person comes back is a sucky feeling. Coupled with the fact they’re still hiding that there’s more to it than being employer-nanny 😭 and all this is soori. She’s like the baby glue keeping the three of them together, and whichever way they go she’ll be the one who gets affected 100%. Love how she is with jk and oc, and im just waiting for the time when she will slip and nana will become mama 🥹 idk if my heart will burst with happiness or sadness when/if the time comes 😭we haven’t read about jk’s pov about all this, what did he think about oc’s revelations? Is it true that he’s not expecting Ira to come back anymore? What’s really holding him back 😖

Anyway i love the friends dynamic. I love how they dont gossip about each other like Joon not knowing about jk and oc when half of their friend group knows. I love how Tae gives jk the realtalk and Mai calls him out on his bs 😂 I love Mai! Such a boss girl 😂

The only thing im not happy about this is why is Mingyu friends with jk lmaaoooooo because he seems like a good guy and if im oc (im not bummer 😣) i’d totally tap that 🍑 🤭

When i saw the chapter is 17k words girl are you okay?? You were sick and you’re able to come up with the chapter so good. I hope you’re feeling better though!! Dont get sick ❤️

hiii <333

I totally agree with you! it's so frustrating because I have so much empathy for him and everything he's gone through but at the same time I'm like well yeah but how much longer can oc hold onto all of this?? :((

and yeah it must be hard for her now that ira is on her mind and she keeps comparing herself to her, feeling like she's under her shadow, or like you said, a placeholder. but a lot of this I do believe is just a matter of miscommunication!! because to answer your question, jungkook really does not want her to come back. there's nothing left there and I think his actions do show that much. he's left with hesitation, yes. but it's not because of her, more so because of what she did. also, in chapter thirteen (I think) he says how he didn't acknowledge the I love you because he thought she hadn't meant it. lmao. he's so DUUUUUUMB 🤯

I looooooooooooove their friendship dynamic sooo much, too. I love writing it, I'll never stop yapping about this lol. and yeah, they're all pretty loyal and wise towards each other. and mai is the BEST. Taehyung bagged fr fr fr. I also love how she bosses him around lol.

MINGYU AND JK ARE NOT ONLY FRIENDS. THEY'RE LIKE, best friends 😭 went to high school AND college together like. oc really is off limits to him but poor baby Mingyu doesn't know!!!! oc is better than all of us from what I can SEE. LMAO.

tbh I did have quite a lot of time to write it hehe. but yeah, the last couple of days I really locked in. it was originally supposed to be maybe 12k... but then I got carried away. specially with the smut and the Mingyu thing lol. but im so glad u enjoyed!! I loved answering this ask sooo much. iluuu <333 xo

[saturnskyline]

Post 5 QL Songs / OST

tagged by @braceletofteeth, thank youuu!! :)

Rules of the Game:

🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series.

🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages!

🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating.

🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

1. 너는 내 운명 (you are my destiny) - sentimental boy (you make me dance)

if anyone else knows you make me dance, you are legally required to talk to me about it (jk but still lol). this song is gorgeous and plays in my head on repeat 🥲 unfortunately the acoustic version is no longer on spotify, but youtube topic channels have my back haha

2. คิด(แต่ไม่)ถึง (same page?) - tilly birds (bad buddy)

listen.... i realize this wasn't in bad buddy for more than like 2 seconds in the finale and once in the trailer but STILL. IT'S EVERYTHING 🙏🙏 on repeat every chance i get, it's seriously magical <3

3. 永不失联的爱 (unbreakable love) - eric chou (we best love)

i just learned that eric chou is known as "king of the lovelorn people" and wow that really does fit dhfjshdh. this song and this series broke my heart and stitched it back together again, cannot recommend highly enough 💔

4. รู้งี้เป็นแฟนกันตั้งนานแล้ว (safe zone) - billkin, pp krit (i promised you the moon)

well. this song is entirely too upbeat for the heartbreak this show put me through 😭😭 but a bop regardless! also, i would be remiss if i didn't mention "skyline" from the itsay soundtrack since it's half of my url hehe, another personal favorite

5. คนคนนั้น (it's always you) - prem warut (between us)

chills every time. hit so well with all the great winteam moments, and i can never get enough of it. prem came to serve, constantly grateful for the industry's bl actor to ost singer pipeline

tagging @technicallyverycowboy @porschesbabydaddy @viva-yas-vegas @solitudiante @glamgoblin and anyone else that might want to do this 💌💌 absolutely no pressure, as always!

[thewriting-corner]

Meet The Writer

Helloooo to everyone! It’s been a year and a half since I last did a Meet The Writer post and there are SO many more people here now than there were in October 2021. Plus, lots of new projects have started since then so without further a do, I present to you the most chaotic and emotionally unstable member of the writing community!

(jk)

First of all, my name is Lu and I am soon-to-be 20 years old (so old). I was born and raised in a small country in Central America (whoever guesses the flag in my bio right wins a high five. unless you know me, in which case stop cheating), but now live in Germany because of university. (And if anyone is wondering how much this has changed my personality, I would like it to be known that I become annoyed and confused at people who are visibly happy on the street, and occasionally go on rants about the high price of döner.)

I’m Catholic, and while I’m not super open about my faith, I do generally like talking about it when prompted. I’m a sucker for history and unnecessarily analyzing media, and you can tell I’m on an emotional high point when I start ranting about shows, books and movies on my stories. If I can go through any type of media without commentary it means I’m either sad or it sucks lol. I LOVE reading and writing contemporary romance, though my true love will forever be science fiction🫶🏼 something that I 100% blame on my dad for showing me Jurassic Park when I was only 4 years old. And if we go even deeper into blame, my love for writing sci-fi romance is a product of my dad’s favorite movie genre being sci-fi/action, and my mom’s being sappy romances about self discovery.

My favorite music genres include Taylor Swift (she’s a genre okay), The Score (also a genre) and country music. Books that changed my life or inspired me in any way: The Yellow Note by MJ Padgett, A Cuban Girl’s Guide To Tea And Tomorrow by Laura Taylor Namey, Once Upon A Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber, Of Liars And Thieves by Gabriela Lavarello, Better Than The Movies by Lynn Painter and Cinder by Marissa Meyer. However, the book that got me into writing for the very first time was The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. My favorite movie of all time is Tangled, because.. idk just because. I like Disney princess movies.

Aside from being a writer, I’m also the proud owner of four dogs and two cats, all of which you will eventually see on my stories because I miss them so much. And as of very recently, I’m also the Panels & Workshops Manager at The Authors of Tomorrow :) Also, someone asked me what my dream job is, but honestly it’s to be a hot trophy wife/stay at home mom/author (because I don’t want my writing to ever feel like it’s either sell a book or starve). But seeing as how I do not know how to talk to real guys, my second dream is working in Marketing at a publishing house. I suck at promoting my own books, but, not to brag, but I got around 10 people to read Marissa Meyer’s Renegades series just by talking it up 6 years after it published hehe.

And if I have not yet bored you, it’s time for my WIPs: yay! I’m currently querying a superhero sci-fi novel called The Wrath of Chaos and it’s going even worse than my apartment hunt. Then there’s my contemporary novel The Sun Leads Back To You, which I am self publishing on April 14 (you can preorder the ebook on the link in my bio if you want). After the buzz of TSLBTY is over, I plan to start on a brand new time travel novel about a girl destined to destroy time trying to travel back to 1920s London :) gosh I love writing

[bvidzsoo]

Sorry for the late reply, my holiday was quite long, but I’m here now and ready to yap lmao; so, uh, IF I remember correctly then I made my account back in 2015 (could be 2014 too, idk tbh) because I kept hearing of this app and how it was good for fandom stuff. And I was SUPER into Marvel (specifically Captain America) at that time, so I remember I made my blog at school lmao for funzies and followed a bunch of Marvel and Captain America blogs (that I still follow) and that’s it pretty much. It took me around maybe half a year until I also got into kpop (thanks cousin, it’s as much of a curse as it’s a blessing lol) and yeah, everything went downhill from there on (jk) and I’m still here so that’s good 😃👍🏻, my username has always been this one tho, I only change up the appearance of my blog whenever I enter a new phase lmao (happened with exo, svt and now atz, only rv is a constant in my life 🙂‍↕️)

Tagging out of curiosity: @sorryimananti-romantic @hongjoongspoetry @hwasbbyg & anyone else if they want to tell me hehe

i wanna start a tag game >:3

why did you decide to join tumblr?

i’ll start!!^^

i wanted to join so i could post x reader fics cause fanfiction.net would get upsetti spaghetti when i tried to post them there :D

tagging: @hotelcaliforniaenbydancer @nothingtoseehere1-2-3 @rosalinastan1 @ayunakatsukiwolfhashira @pinkwisteria @kimetsu-chan @shycroissanti @slayfics @night-mince10000000000000000001 @zenitsustherapist @frostburn-shoto @floofgryph @aceofstars0 @pulim-v @muichirolover14 @muichirosboba @kiyokatokito

[stormblessed95]

Hiyee, Stormy! Since you are our resident Jkkpedia (hehe, but seriously you are), do you recall moments when JK or JM would remember something either one of them said/did that was not entirely momentous for the other members but seemed so for them? I got curious because I saw this vid (https://twitter.com/woobi_jung/status/1519272215912783873?s=20&t=pBLj1HqANJHF3Wjuy3lkJg), and there's a moment in the clip where JK already knew what JM would say even, and it seems like he is the only one who remembers it. It's also interesting that the concert happened 4 or 3 years back when their reactions were filmed. It also made me think that JK indeed always has his eyes on Jimin way back since he would remember things JM did or said that even JM may have already forgotten. Thank you for taking the time to read my ask. I am always excited to read your posts and replies :)

Watching BTS cringe so hard at their old selves will never fail to make me cry laughing. This clip of them watching Red Bullet every single time. The link here.

This is basically just an ask for JK being a Jiminopedia right? And Jimin being a Jungkookpedia? Lmao easy. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to fit all the times into one post! They know each other SO WELL

To start, JK ratting Jimin out on when he is lying or not during RUN lol

His favorite number, his favorite/least favorite foods, his predebut accomplishments, how he enjoys spending his time, even the other members asking JK about Jimin at times lol

Legit, you wanna know something about Jimin, ask JK. He knows more about Jimin then anyone else. Lmao

And literally a 2.5 minute long compilation of JK knowing Jimin better than Jimin knows himself lmao with some of them being even more moments that I haven't already put here 😅😂 from various times, 2014 till now

And Jimin is just as bad I swear. He flexes his JK knowledge on us just as much! Sharing JKs school time hair routine lmao

His hobbies...

Answering this or that questions FOR JK lol

His home habits and eating habits that half the time no one else has any clue about

Jimin picking Jungkooks lips out of a randomized line up in 2 seconds flat while every other single member for every other pair of lips had to run and go stare at each members lips to try and compare too lol Rent Free that run episode. For real 😅😂

They way these 2 over share, but about EACH OTHER. They really do just click. Lol the vast amounts of knowledge. They truly know each other very very well 🥰🥰 thanks for the ask! I loved it a lot!

[mindswriters]

how would eddie react to their s/o sacrificing themselves to save him, ending with them dying in his arms? (jk they're not dead they just become his guardian angel but nobody knows that yet hehe)

a/n: wrote this practically half asleep, so forgive any typos and lack of sense pls

you're really throwin some angst at me huh? ok then here we go!!

poor baby would cry his eyes out if seeing you dead in his arms, he'd call for you till his lungs give up, beg for you to to stay with him, probably get so pissed with himself that he let you do that when he could've died instead of you, and need someone like steve or dustin to literally pull him from your body, or he wouldn't let go of you

and for the "grief" phase, i feel like he'd be on the extremes, but like two possibilities. in both of them he'd blame himself for what happened and following that he could

go through bad paths, like start drinking and getting high 24/7, locking himself from the rest of the world, stop doing the things he loves like playing guitar and d&d, i mean, his trailer would turn into a trash dump, never opening a single window again, he feels to guilty for that, and besides, for him there's no living if you're not there

or he could luckly suffer to death on the first days and then start thinking like "y/n wouldn't like to see me im this state" and use that as a motivation to be the Eddie you always wanted him to be, acchieving things, living life at best, because he would know that wherever you are, you're looking for him and feeling proud about the man he became

but either way i feel like he'd rather spend the rest of his life alone with the thought of you than to find someone else, even in weakness moments when he'd have one night meaningless hook ups, he'd wake up feeling like trash, guilty as hell and probably crying to a picture of you explaining how sorry he was (+ those meaningless hook ups would NEVER be in his house, his bed, because that place belongs to you only)

i think this and some other things like being traumatized for life with the scene would be my main idea about an eddie who lost his s/o, idk if i got too long or something if yes i'm so sorry lol but thank u for asking!!

[bts-reveries]

rollercoaster

characters/pairings: Jeon family x Park family

genre: family and fluff

request: [ @kookietsukkie ] this one idk how it came into my head but a drabble on the park family going to disneyland (or maybe they went together with the jeons….you can see that jk’s gcf in tokyo is one of the inspirations hehe), and somehow mingyu got lost………😃 I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD BUT it’s a challenging one and remembering daddy duties i wanna see panic jimin with yuna calming him down 🥺 (i wanna suggest you some scenarios like where exactly mingyu got lost but i haven’t been to disneyland so idk the parts of it😭)

a/n: i missed so many days for miyatober, but i’m back :) i apologize it was ticketing week and my sister and i was planning and having a last minute early birthday picnic with my two besties since i’m only free one saturday this month but those are now done!! so i hope we’re back to our regular programming~ anyways, enjoy! i haven’t been in disneyland/california adventures since 2019 so i had to google a lot of things LOL so don’t come for me if you’re an active disneyland visitor

ALSO omg lily is sian’s baby sister, referring to when jungkook proposed to rina with the tigerlilies. nari would’ve probably been better but we’re using that for the other series so i didn’t wanna get it confused LOL

and mina is mingyu’s little sister! get it? jiMIn yuNA like jiMINgYUna it’s a reoccurring theme 

anyways lily is like one and a half yr old and mina is like one, sian is like NINE and mingyu is five :(((

➳➳➳➳➳➳➳

“Dad,” Sian says, tugging on his dad’s arm. “Can we ride that?” He points to the rollercoaster behind them. Jungkook turns, squinting at the sun as he looks up at the huge rollercoaster. Incredicoaster is what it’s called. They were in Disneyland after all. California Adventures to be specific. The whole family, along with the Park family, are currently on their second day of their short vacation in California. 

“I don’t know, are you tall enough?” He looks at his son and smiles. Sian had actually gotten a bit taller in the past few months. 

“I think so, that kid is in line,” he says, pointing to a kid that looks to be his height and age. 

“Alright, we can ride it then,” Jungkook says.

“Me me!” Lily says, hugging her dad’s neck tighter. Jungkook laughs as his daughter bounces as he’s carrying her, pointing at the roller coaster as well. 

“You’re too small, princess,” Jungkook says, pushing her bangs back. “Maybe when you turn 2.”

“And grow 3 feet,” Sian says, poking his baby sister’s cheek when she pouts. 

“Meanwhile, me and Gyu will be riding the carousel with baby sister, right?” Jimin says, holding onto Mingyu’s hand. Mingyu looks up at him and nods. 

“And Lily and I will join you,” Rina says, reaching out for her baby girl. “You wanna go on the ride with Gyu oppa and Mina?” 

“Yes!” Lily yells. 

“Alright, well-- why don’t you ride it with us Sian?” Rina says, changing her mind. 

“I thought me and dad were going to ride the rollercoaster…”

“Yeah, can we go afterwards? I kind of want to see you ride your first roller coaster,” Rina pouts. I guess that’s where Lily got it from. Sian is just the exact copy of his dad and now he’s bigger and he likes to do all the dangerous things that his dad likes to do. Like wanting to go bungee jumping and skydiving and skateboarding without helmets. 

Not that this rollercoaster is as dangerous as those three, but it’s a big deal.

For her (not so) little boy. 

“Okay mommy,” Sian says, walking over to his mom. 

“Alright, now give me back my baby girl,” Jungkook says, reaching out for Lily. Lily laughs as she reaches for her dad and Rina passes her over. 

“So Jessie’s Critter Carousel first?” Yuna says, holding onto Mina tightly as she squirms in her arms. The rest of the group nods. “Okay, well let’s hurry because the line is actually short for this one.”

-

“Did you like it?” Jimin says. They just finished the kiddy ride. This time he was the one carrying Mina. She smiles up at him and goes, ‘mm.’

That means yes.

“What about you, did you like it?” Sian says, now he was holding his sister’s hand. She’s about one and a half and she can walk pretty well. But only when it’s her brother holding her hand she behaves. 

“Yeah!” She responds. 

“Dad, are we going to go on the rollercoaster now?” Sian asks, turning to Jungkook. He had his arm over Rina’s shoulder. He nods.

“You wanna ride with us?” Jungkook asks his wife, she shakes her head no. 

“Maybe when Lily is big enough.” 

“When you’re tall like me, you can sit next to me on a rollercoaster, okay?” Sian says, patting her head. “For now you have to stay with mommy.”

“I wanna ride, let’s ride it daddy,” Mingyu says, pulling on his dad’s pant leg. “I wanna ride the rollercoaster with hyung.”

“You’re too small to ride it,” Jimin says. “Maybe in a few years, when you’re Sian hyung’s age okay?” Mingyu pouts, walking up to Yuna and hugging her legs. 

“Don’t be sad, we can ride other rides okay?” Yuna says, petting his head. He nods, softly. 

Jimin frowns, looking down at his daughter. 

“Did- did you poop?” He says, lifting her up and sniffing. “Ooh-- oh no, yup. Time to go to mommy.” Jimin says, passing her down to Yuna. She rolls her eyes at him. 

“We’ll be back I guess,” she says. “Go stay with daddy,” she tells Mingyu, walking away. “Go ahead and go in line.” She tells the rest of the group.

“I’ll go with you,” Rina says. “Wanna come baby?” She says, turning to Lily and extending her arm out to her. Lily grabs her hand and excitedly runs toward the direction of where Yuna and Mina were at. 

“We’ll be in front of the rollercoaster when we come back so we can watch you two,” Rina yells back as her daughter drags her. 

“I’ll be there with Mingyu then while Jungkook and Sian are in line,” Jimin yells at them. Yuna holds up an okay sign. 

“Okay, we’ll get in line then,” Jungkook tells his hyung, patting his back. 

“Okay, Gyu and I will be right over there,” Jimin points. 

“Alright, we'll see you soon,” Jungkook says, walking off. He swings his arm over his son’s shoulders, walking to the end of the line with him.

“So are you ready for your first big rollercoaster?” Jungkook asks Sian. 

“Yeah, you always talk about how fun it is.”

“This is just the beginning. We’re going to do so many more things after this.”

“If mommy lets us,” Sian says, making Jungkook laugh.

“Yeah, only if mommy says so,” Jungkook says.

“Aww look at that, Sian hyung and my little Jungkook are so big now,” Jimin says, watching the two walk off. “One day that’ll be you and I. But right now you’re going to stay as my little baby, right?” Jimin looks down and his eyes widens when he realizes he wasn’t talking to anyone. He spins in a circle, looking everywhere.

“MINGYU?” Jimin yells. He sighs, putting his hands on his head. “Oh my gosh, your mother’s going to kill me.”

He doesn’t know where he could’ve ended up or when he disappeared. 

Jimin was panicking and his breathing was getting quicker. He didn’t even know where to start looking.

“Excuse me,” he says, walking up to a cast member. That’s what they call employees around here. “Did you see a little korean boy walking around alone? He’s about this tall. He’s wearing a black and white striped shirt and blue shorts. He also has a yellow fanny pack across his chest.”

“I’m sorry, I did not see any boy alone, but if any other cast member does see him, they would either stay with them or you can find them at the Baby Care Center.”

“Okay, thank you,” Jimin says, walking away. He looks both sides, trying to see if he’ll be able to spot him anywhere. Maybe he was nearby.

“Jimin!” Yuna calls. The girls run up to him.

“Are the boys in line already?” Rina asks. Their faces drop when they see Jimin’s expression.

“What’s wrong?” Yuna asks, she looks down and around, noticing her son wasn’t there. “Where’s Gyu?” Jimin shakes his head. 

“I- I don’t know, I look-- I looked down and he was gone,” his breath was shaky and his palms were sweating. 

“Okay, well let’s calm down. He knows what to do when he gets lost, we talked about this to him before we got here. It’s okay honey.” Yuna says, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, we’ll find him.”

“Do you think he was hungry and ran to a churro cart,” Rina says, looking around. 

“Maybe he got distracted with something,” Yuna says, starting to walk off. 

“There!” Lily points. There were a couple of face characters standing nearby. Woody and Jesse to be specific.

“It’s Gyu’s favorite,” Jimin says, running off. Mingyu rewatched all four movies before coming here.

There was a crowd around the two characters and Jimin politely pushed past them. Getting nasty stares from a few people.

“Mingyu?” Jimin calls out. Rina, Yuna, Lily, and Mina made their way to where Jimin was as well. 

“Daddy!” Mingyu yells happily when he sees his dad’s face. He was standing right next to a cast member. Just like what Yuna told him to do to if he ever did get lost. 

Jimin felt his heart stop and he dropped down at his son’s level in relief. 

“You nearly gave me a heart attack, come here,” he says, spreading his arms for a hug. Mingyu laughs, running into his dad’s chest. 

“Look! Woody and Jesse!” He yells happily. The two characters wave at him.

Jimin waves back. 

“Would you like to take a picture?” One of the cast members asked him. Jimin was about to shake his head no when Mingyu yelled ‘Yes please!’ 

Jimin laughs, handing them his phone camera. He picks Mingyu up, holding him tightly.

The two then stood between the two characters and held up V signs. 

“How cute!” One of the cast members says. Jimin thanks the lady as she hands him back his phone and he walks up to his wife and daughter.

“I literally almost started crying,” Jimin says, hugging Mingyu tighter and pressing his cheek against his. 

“I know your voice was shaking,” Yuna says. “Don’t do that again okay buddy? Ask daddy next time to take you instead of going on your own.” Mingyu pouts, nodding his head in shame.

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu says, turning to hug Jimin’s neck.

“It’s okay, it’s over now,” Jimin says, rubbing his back.

“Okay, Jungkook just texted me that they’re almost on. Let’s go over there so we can watch them take off,” Rina says, pointing to the spot they were supposed to meet at.

“Let’s watch hyung okay?” Jimin says, moving his head back to look at his son. 

“Okay, so next time I can ride it,” Mingyu says as they walk back. 

“Yeah, when you're big like hyung.”

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

this kingdom iv, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Being without your girlfriend sucks. Being without your girlfriend because she wants to play League of Legends uninterrupted by your dick is a big sulky sadge. Jeon Jungkook is big sulky sadge. He was forced to go on vacation with his friends. He misses your ass. Not you, obviously. Well. A little. Okay... a lot. Hmph.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; Jungkook is low-key high-key? a brat; if you play LoL, spot the references, hehe; intense smut (fem reader, dirty talk, begging, pet name (for JK), scratching / marking, pain kink, choking, reverse cowgirl, handjob, thigh riding, overstimulation, mild restraint, m-receiving oral, shower sex, anal, squirting); non-idol!BTS; long black-haired, tsundere softsub!Jungkook x self-assured, cocky, power-bottom/softdom noona!reader; switches between Jungkook’s and your POV, OT7 scene is third person POV (OT6 are somehow the third wheel lol)

you don’t have to read the other parts to enjoy this

--

part i | part ii | part iii

-

Jeon Jungkook often wondered what it was like to have a normal, demure girlfriend.

He did not want one. He just wondered what it was like not to feel violently horny, twenty-five hours a day, eight days a week. Okay, and yes, he sometimes wondered about his own sanity. He wasn’t sure what sane person would be choking their girl from behind while being completely paralyzed because he was hypnotized by her round, juicy ass bouncing on his dick. Yeah, whose girl could get choked and still command the pace of the fucking?

Only his.

No, Jungkook was not taking any refutations.

He tightened his grip around her neck, his fingers pressing down right under her ears, forcing her chin up, the fullness of her ponytail skimming her arched back. Fuck, so fucking hot. He loved reverse cowgirl, not that he would ever say that out loud. But he did, he loved all of it, the way she tipped her head back, the way her shoulder blades flexed, the delicious curve of her spine, the forced definition of her waist, the way it flared out to lush hips, and that sound, ugh, that delicious firm slap of her ass to his crotch, her slick juices sliding down his balls and coating the inside of his thighs, suffocating tightness of pulsating heat wrapped around his entire length, gasping at the feeling of her fingers sinking into his tense thighs, her nails digging in, fucking him up with the visual of her open mouth and her wet, pink tongue curling in the air. On a rollercoaster and he could do nothing about it except grind his free fist into the sheets and clamp his tattooed fingers down on her neck.

Who is the one being choked here? Her or him, fuck, he couldn’t breathe, his inhale caught in his throat from the constant barrage of pleasure that was her powerful pussy squeezing his rock-hard length all over, so good, so fucking good he couldn’t think, his brows furrowing and his eyelids fluttering at the added sensation of her fingernails scratching up his tense thighs, nothing but ecstasy at the hurt.

“Tighter, little bunny,” she growled, her voice thinned out from being choked, and yet her tone was still light, teasing him as if this was nothing.

“Shut up,” Jungkook wheezed out, intending for it to come out as a snarl but he was too messed up to do so, sliding his hand back on the bed, dragging her head back by the neck. Tighter she said, and he obeyed, pressing down harder, moaning as he felt her walls clench and squeeze all around him, his hazy gaze meeting her upside-down one, half-lidded eyes slyly mocking his ruined state, smacking down on him harder, faster, the pleasure burning through him, nerves on fire, sparking shivers all over, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, his eyes darting from bouncing ass to parted lips and lolling tongue and dangerous eyes, so fucking pretty and lewd and calling his name in a sensual hiss, and Jungkook was weak, core tight and whine of her name in his throat, gonna cum, please let me cum, on the edge of fear and want, unsure if he could take it if she denied him, and so he shoved down his pride and pleaded.

“Please…”

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Say it again,” she breathed, low and raspy. “I love hearing you beg.”

Sinking down on him, gripping his twitching length with slick walls and throbbing pulses.

He didn’t care anymore, he needed it, need it, I fucking need it right now, please.

“P-Please, noona, f-fuck…!”

She sucked in a breath and moaned loud, right up to the ceiling, clawing at his inner thighs and igniting lines of pain that rolled into crashing waves of her orgasm spiraling around him, fierce smack and vicious constriction all around him, instant splatter of slick sweetness onto his balls, and Jungkook was gone, his hand flying off her neck, needing both to hold himself upright. Gasping for air, bucking his hips up, seeing stars at the unbearable convulsing tightness, shooting his load into the condom, feeling it all over, oh shit, from head to base, vibrating desire from her to him and he could do nothing but let the pleasure consume him, her wild lust eating him up and dragging him to her level, hunted on these proving grounds.

On cloud nine, feeling the slow, measured constriction of her muscles around his shivering cock.

He was panting, feeling like he had just been running for his life. Now groaning, tipping his head back, his long back hair sticking to his face, wet from sweat, his chest quivering as he felt her hand slide between them, smearing her cum onto his balls, massaging them in the slippery mess, her fingers easing in between their joined hips.

“We’re not done,” she drawled, lifting herself off him while holding the condom down, periodically stopping and pulsing around the remainder of his length, still hard as he watched her perfect ass rise off him.

“You’re… c-crazy…” he choked out.

She slowly turned around, predatory smirk on her lips.

Jungkook loved this kingdom.

Well, it was more like tyranny, but apparently that turned his dick on.

Clenched his jaw, growling deep in his chest, knowing his messy black hair, narrowed eyes, and sharp gaze made him look formidable even if this was the one person he could never faze, even if it was never going to work, even if he was always the loser, Jungkook was never going to act like a loser.

Never.

She ticked her chin up, presenting her throat.

He snapped his teeth and his right hand shot up, snatching the offering.

She licked her lips and peeled the condom off him, his own cum and lube leaking down, replacing the condom with her punishing grip, jacking him off hard and fast.

“Fuck!”

She grinned and rubbed her wet pussy onto his left thigh, letting him feel the swollen nub of her clit against his flexed muscle. He bit back a pathetic whimper, trapped in an agonizingly tight grip, pleasure from the pain of overstimulation, soothed by the slickness from the lube and his own cum. He grasped her throat and she choked his dick while riding his thigh.

Deliberate eye contact, not looking away.

His breathing shallow, tendons of his tattooed hand popping out, black ink on his forearms trembling from rigidity, not noticing because he was lost, captivated by mischievous eyes that commanded him with the thin whisper of her breath, deadly the way that she purred his name so sweetly, dancing between submission of her current position and domination from both of them knowing that she had complete control over him. Glistening wet pink tongue extending between open lips, dirty and lewd, tighter and faster, her eyes rolling back, lovely lashes fluttering, his name a strangled hiss.

The curtain call.

“Jungkook…”

He whimpered and came, shooting thick, sloppy strings of white up and all over her thigh and stomach, shuddering as he felt the squelch of her juices, her soft thighs clamping down on his hard one, her hips rolling, feeling her wet pussy flex against him, riding it out on him like he was just a toy, her toy, that was what he was, her favorite toy.

Ridiculous how she brought a whole new meaning to joystick.

Her thumb softly rubbed at the base of the throbbing head, dribbling cum spurting out, his hips flinching and the whines tearing through him, too sensitive but too stubborn to ask for it to stop, deep down not wanting her to stop, something carnal and arousing about how brutal it was, awed by how she knew the perfect balance of suffering that escalated all sensation into euphoria.

His hand was still around her neck, loosening as she leaned forward and captured his lips, passionate force and nipping teeth that teased his lower lip, his moans ringing in his ears, embarrassed that he was reduced to carnage from her fervor. His arms gave out, causing him to fall onto the bed, and her mouth chased him, devouring him with kisses, her fingers tangling in his hair, cum on their skin and now slippery between their bodies, kiss after kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer, closer not close enough, wanting it, the intensity, the possessiveness, the uncontrollable craving, all three of those things mostly describing himself.

“I love you,” she breathed into his throat.

His hands slid down, kneading her ass, enjoying the feeling of being hunted.

“Fuck, I love you,” he panted, his thoughts a jumbled mess, his voice gravelly and hoarse from holding his breath, so drunk on the lust-induced high that he forgot to hide behind the walls of his pride. “I love you so fucking much, don’t you ever leave me, please, fuck, please, I’ll do anything, fucking anything, and don’t you dare forget it.”

She sucked on his lower lip, working it with her teeth and flicking her tongue against it, and he moaned, his thundering heartbeat roaring in his ears and his fingers sinking into her ass, malleable and soft, just like her thighs that were now squeezing the sides of his hips, gasping as she released him, her dark chuckle above his shaking exhale.

“Little bunny,” she murmured, infuriatingly calm and turning him on, stupid little nickname did that to him now and he didn’t even care. “You will always be mine, wandering back into your cage even if I leave the door open, begging me to hunt you until you can’t take any more.”

If Jungkook had his wits, he would have said, no, you’re wrong, but he didn’t. Instead, he told the truth and whimpered, needy and compliant, lifting his head so she would kiss him again, lost in the infinite duress that was the wolf whose sharp claws sank into his heart.

-

“What’s with him?”

“He’s sulking.”

Jeon Jungkook was sitting in the hot water with a soaked towel on his head, eyes closed and alone.

“He’s been sulking ever since we got here.”

It was true. Ever since the seven men entered the luxury hotel penthouse with the personal balcony pool and hot tub, Jeon Jungkook had been sulky. Six pairs of eyes watched him slowly boil himself into oblivion and did nothing to help. The rest of them were currently in cozy pajamas or fluffy robes, either having been out already or just gotten out.

“The pussy can’t be that good.”

“It probably is. You’ve seen the ass,” Park Jimin said sagely. “I sympathize.”

“You’ve never touched her ass,” Kim Taehyung snapped, smacking Jimin in the back of the head. Jimin scowled and was about to scold him, but Taehyung reached up again and gently rubbed the spot he had hit, making the shorter man bust into – what do the kids call it these days, ah, yes – uwus. “Although if her ass is any indication, yeah, probably,” the deep baritone voice added with a nonchalant shrug.

“Please stop talking about her ass like that,” Kim Seokjin grumbled as he looked between two books, looking ready to read neither of them.

“Oh, hyung, wouldn’t you know, but I guess you wouldn’t since you fell asl–”

Seokjin chucked both books at Jimin’s head and Taehyung snatched them out of the air, sighing as Jimin giggled like a maniac and hid behind him.

“I’m sure it was an honest mistake,” Jung Hoseok said soothingly, rubbing Seokjin’s broad, pajama-covered back.

The older man twitched and hissed under his breath. “Should have known the little shit wouldn’t keep his mouth shut.”

Said little shit roasting himself in the hot tub let out a big, long sigh.

“Man, now I feel bad that we didn’t invite her,” Kim Namjoon frowned. He was suddenly handed the books from Taehyung. The tall man turned them over in his hands, now distracted, looking greatly interested in both.

“We did invite her.”

Five faces turned to the freshly washed-up black-haired man at the entrance of the balcony. He was wrapped in a thick charcoal sweatshirt and sweats, his feet tucked into the complementary white hotel slippers, very fuzzy. He looked a bit like a fluffy, satisfied cat.

“At least I did,” Min Yoongi mused, brushing off imaginary dust on the hem of his sweatshirt. “I asked her if she wanted to come with, because I knew he would be like this.”

“A sad boi?”

Yoongi shrugged at Taehyung’s comment. “She said she had a League of Legends event to participate in and asked me to, quote, please whisk him away so I can avoid him sulking in the background as I’m playing, end quote.”

“So…” Hoseok blinked, looking back to Jungkook. “So that he can sulk in the background here?”

Yoongi rubbed his temple. “Like I said, I knew he would be like this. He’s rather attached.”

Jimin snorted. “More like horny and pussy-whipped.”

Yoongi ticked his head with a shrug. “Can you blame him though?”

All six looked at the sinking head bubbling down into the scalding water, leaving a blob of floating black hair and the folded towel, thinking of a specific ass in leggings. Except Seokjin. Seokjin had seen that ass full-on naked, so he was thinking about the naked ass. Good thing for his dignity that his blue pajama pants were loose.

“Guess not…”

-

“He’s sulking.”

“Is he?” you asked absentmindedly, wondering if you should take something other than Biscuit Delivery under the Inspiration tree, but this rune was so fucking busted that you were sure every champion except for the two junglers on each team had damn biscuits. So tempting to go down the Precision tree for your runes, but you were playing the shielding mage Karma, the Enlightened One, and you were supposed to support. You were going to.

Aggressively.

In your defense, that was how the lane was played.

“I think he’s trying to become a boiled dumpling with the amount of time he’s spent in the hot tub.”

“I love dumplings,” you mused, waiting for the game to load. “It’s only the third day.”

“What did you do to him?” the deep voice chuckled, slightly raspy and breathy from his satoori.

“Nothing, Yoongi.”

“Mhm.” You could tell he did not believe you in the slightest. “Bet he hasn’t texted or called you.”

“Nope.”

Your boyfriend was sulky and mad that you banished him to vacation with his friends to play League of Legends uninterrupted. How terrible for him. He refused to speak to you because of it. Therefore, you had to recruit said friends to keep tabs on him.

“Hah,” Yoongi clicked his tongue. “How childish.”

“Does he know you’re calling me?” you chuckled at the game started, buying your starting items and heading to bottom side of the river, following the pings of your jungler, spear-wielding warrior Xin Zhao, the Seneschal of Demacia. He was going to start at the monster camp named Red Brambleback. Being a good teammate, you were scouting for an invade along with your gun-and-trigger-happy ADC, Jinx, the Loose Cannon.

Your phone was propped up by your monitor. On speaker, but not video call.

“No, but I could let him know.”

“Don’t torture him.”

“I heard he likes that.”

“Not from you.”

“Are you sure?”

You almost glanced down at your phone, but again, it wasn’t a video call and you had to leash for your jungler. You smacked the jungle monster a couple times with your auto-attacks, both you and Jinx dealing damage so it died faster, speeding up Xin Zhao’s already quick clear. He wasn’t going to gank bot lane – there was no point in trying to attack the opponents you and Jinx were facing since they were highly mobile. A cocky adventurer and a damn cat. Ezreal and Yuumi, to be specific. You let Jinx handle the minions as you weaved about and threw in your Q ability to harass your opponents. Dodging their harassing abilities was easy.

Provided you had a mouse and a brain.

“Repeat that,” you replied, dropping your voice a dangerous octave.

“Hm?” was Yoongi’s casual, unfazed response. He was not going to repeat it. You could tell by his devious tone. “I think Jimin heard your voice coming from the speaker. Oh no.” He did not sound bothered.

You cocked an eyebrow even though he wasn’t there to see.

There you calmly double-killed the enemy bot lane.

Flash, W, Q, Jinx E to prevent Ezreal from escaping, killing him instantly and taking the poor defenseless kitty right after. Poor Yuumi. You didn’t even have to use Exhaust because they died so fast. You let Jinx have both. She needed the money more than you, even if you did most of the work.

Such is the life of the support.

Ugh, you wished you were playing your main role, but this Jinx had refused to trade roles.

“I’m sorry if Jungkook becomes annoyed at you.” You didn’t sound that sorry and you weren’t. Mostly because you figured Yoongi was fully capable of taking care of himself. He didn’t need protection. You cracked your neck. Pressed the B button, returning Karma to base, watching the minimap. Xin Zhao was ganking top lane. Got a kill. Nice. Game was starting off well.

Yoongi let out a sly snicker.

You didn’t have to see him to know he was smirking.

“You should join us on the last day, hm? He’ll have so many… emotions to release.”

“Oh no,” you calmly lamented, not the least bit bothered. “Don’t wind him up.”

He couldn’t see you but, judging by his tone, Yoongi knew that you were smirking now.

“Talk to you later,” the deep raspy voice purred.

“Enjoy your vacation.”

“I will.”

-

Jeon Jungkook was seething.

He did not want to be seething, but he was. He pretended not to be. Unlike Kim Seokjin who was, in the youngest’s eyes, a weak bitch, Min Yoongi was scary. Jungkook was not ready to fight Yoongi. No, his hyung was not ripped nor particularly violent in any way. He was just scary. Jungkook caught spooky vibes from Yoongi.

Not skeleton spooky, but like… ready-to-deliver-some-verbal-karma spooky.

Scary.

Jungkook would muster up the courage to become angry, looking up at his hyung ready to explode, and Yoongi would already be staring at him. As if he already knew what Jungkook was thinking, giving him this look, this you-really-think-you-can-mess-with-me look, and Jungkook realized that he could not, nope, he could not mess with Min Yoongi.

Also.

Yoongi remembered Jungkook’s likes and dislikes, preparing his favorite foods during the entire vacation in the hotel kitchen when they weren’t eating out.

It was hard to be mad when his belly was full.

Shit.

He heard from a certain chirpy chick that Yoongi had been on the phone with his girlfriend. It tortured Jungkook not knowing what it was about, but he was not speaking to her right now, trying to teach her a lesson, upset that her obsession with her video game seemed more important than being with… hah, okay, yeah, than fucking him.

Was that petty?

Yes.

Was it dumb?

Yes.

Was he being childishly stubborn?

Yes.

This was Jungkook’s brand and he was sticking to it even though he was aware that he shouldn’t.

“It’s an Irish Bomb. You have to drink it all at once.”

All seven of them were at a bar and Jungkook stayed close to Yoongi. Just in case. Maybe she would call again and he could catch his hyung in the act. Then Jungkook would pounce. Or something. Honestly, Jungkook had zero idea what he was going to do. He didn’t plan that far ahead. His brain scolded him to call her and ask, but Jungkook’s stubborn ass was going to do no such thing. His stupid pride was too strong so, instead of being reasonable, he stuck by Yoongi. The best way to attack the enemy was to be his friend, right?

Something like that.

Yoongi reached over and tucked Jungkook’s bangs behind his ear.

“Isn’t your hair long enough to tie up?” he chuckled. “You look like a poodle.”

Jungkook frowned and pulled the cold glass to him. “Who cares,” he grumbled. There was only one person that he wanted to look good for and he wasn’t talking to her right now. Hmph.

Maybe he was a dummy.

Jungkook raised the glass and began to down the whole thing.

He knew he was being a dummy.

Yoongi’s fingertips lingered against the curve of his ear.

Jungkook was reminded of hovering lips and the nick of teeth.

A hot shiver slid down his spine.

Yoongi’s hand was already gone and he was drinking his own Irish Bomb faster than Jungkook could finish his, and now his mind was racing – why had that touch reminded him of her tongue teasing his ear, why did it send his mind down a spiral of erotic memories that he desperately tried to wash away with the alcohol in his hand, confused as to why the feeling was so similar, it was all in his head, right, right, of course, yet now he couldn’t stop thinking, conversation happening in his head, I miss you so much, I don’t want to teach you a lesson anymore, I know I’m being silly and foolish, come and teach me a lesson.

Pleading.

I need the pain. Only you can deliver it.

Jungkook let out a gasping puff as he finished the drink, his head swimming with wishes that he wasn’t going to beg for, not yet, adamant pride still in his way, and he knew he wasn’t actually jealous, he wasn’t even mad, he just embarrassed that he missed that ensnaring smirk and her strangle-thorns buried into his heart. He even missed that dumb nickname that turned him on now.

Little bunny.

He missed the scent of her hair, their bodies side by side, falling asleep together.

I love you.

He never said it enough, but he did, mouthing it against her skin, not letting her hear, but she must know, she had to know, it was impossible for her to not know.

“What do you think?”

Jungkook started, jerking his head to Yoongi’s raised eyebrows.

“Ah… it’s good. Better than I thought it would be.”

Yoongi half-smiled.

“Someone on your mind?”

He felt his ears burn.

“Uh, no. What should we try next?” he asked quickly, and Jungkook only realized later that Yoongi had asked someone and not something, wasn’t that weird, huh, but at that point it was many drinks down and too deep into the night, Jungkook was too sleepy to think about it anymore.

He forgot all about it when he woke up the next day.

-

Hot.

Wet.

Shivers.

Tongue on the curve of his ear. A single, nimble swipe leaving a line of sensitivity and heat radiating through his body, chills of fire that left him gasping, trying to move his hands, but they were pinned behind him, jammed between the small of his back and her stomach, her hands on his forearms and her nails sinking into his skin. He thought about trying to break out, but he couldn’t, what if he hurt her wrists or something? Besides, it felt too good, kisses at the base of his ear and her tongue flicking his earrings, creating a faint musical sound along with the soft sigh of her breath, and he remembered her asking, how many more piercings are you gonna get, and he remembered saying, hmph, how much pain you want me to be in?

Her lips brushed against his ear, murmuring his name.

“Jungkook…”

His blood shimmered in his veins, violent adrenaline.

Just like that time back then, her voice in his ear, murmuring his name and whispering.

Challenging.

“How much pain can you take?”

Thus, Jeon Jungkook showed up at her doorstep with an eyebrow piercing, lip piercing, and six new lobe piercings on his right ear.

“Enough?” he had scowled, demanding approval.

Now, she let go of his arms. He kept them behind his back, gasping as her naked breasts came into contact with his shoulder blades, her hard nipples rubbing against his hot skin, her thighs flush against the sides of his hips, delicious press of softness to hardness. Her hands appeared. Fingers curved inward, nails descending, and the air was trapped in his lungs as he watched and felt her nails rake across his chest, blooming pink lines of carnage on his tan skin, the pain drawing out a gasp.

She said the same thing now that she said back then.

“I love knowing that you can take so much pain, little bunny,” she whispered into his ear.

It wasn’t… it wasn’t his thing or anything.

It was their thing, and he was into it because he was into her, he wouldn’t be like this with anyone else, he wouldn’t put up with it if it was anyone else, couldn’t, she put up with him, so he was being accommodating, he was only addicted to it because she made it feel so good, fuck, it always felt so fucking good, felt so good when she clawed up his flexed pecs to his tense shoulders and she nudged his arms, indicating that he could free them now, and only then did he untangle them and reach back and sink his fingers into her ass, kneading the plump softness with a strangled moan as her tongue toyed with the side of his neck and she forcefully gripped his chin, pushing it to the side to gain more access to that sensitive skin, his roaring pulse torrential underneath snapping teeth.

She had him by the throat and she didn’t need her hand around it.

Just her tongue painting desire all over his skin.

Yes, this.

She curved her body around him, tongue and lips dancing down, kissing the lines of burning fire she had created, each one scalding him, ecstasy like wildfire rampaging within him, boiling down to his core, this was theirs, his hands following, forcefully adjusting her so she was in front of him, on top of him, kisses above his racing heart, gripping her thighs and squeezing them, moaning at the roundness and the visual, her amused chuckle and arrogant smirk mocking him, this was their thing.

Jungkook liked being the little bunny to the big bad wolf.

There, he said it.

In his head, not out loud.

She licked the edge of her lips, grinning.

He sucked in a breath, his hips rolling onto the palm that suddenly squeezed his clothed erection, slow and soft touch promising to mess him up.

“My little bunny needs to be taken care of by the big bad wolf, doesn’t he?”

“S… Shut up.”

She was about to remove her hand, but he grabbed it and pressed it back down.

“If you’re gonna talk,” he growled, cutting it short as she rubbed his hard length through his underwear, biting back his whimper. When he spoke again, he could no longer hide the plea in his tone. “I-If you’re gonna talk so much, u-use your mouth.”

Her plush lips parted. Tongue sliding out, pink and glistening and so fucking hot.

“Oh yeah?” she taunted.

Her body slid down, down, between his legs.

And then he woke up.

-

Jungkook woke up with your lips wrapped around his morning wood.

You had attempted to wake him to announce your arrival, but he was difficult to wake up. Seemed a bit crabby. That didn’t surprise you. He shoved your hand to his dick, which also didn’t surprise you, mumbling to use your mouth, in that same grumbly tone that was him attempting to be harsh. Instead, it came out needy. Awake or asleep, your younger boyfriend was always needy. You liked that about him though. Maybe a bit too much.

Nah.

You removed his boxer briefs and tossed them aside.

Gripped his thighs and swallowed his hard cock.

Jungkook’s hips jerked and thrust up into your throat, suffocating your breath, lewdly moaning to the ceiling while his hands flew up and clutched the hotel pillows. His eyes cracked open and then snapped open in disbelief upon seeing your lips pressed against the base of his dick.

“N-Noona?!”

You tightened your throat and lapped at his balls with the tip of your tongue, unable to speak or even breathe.

None of that stopped you from cocking an eyebrow at him.

“How a-are you – o-oh, shit…!”

You pulled back and slammed back down, as fast and as hard as you could, burying him into your throat over and over again, so deep that you only had partial seconds to breathe, pressing your tongue from the top of his balls, up the underside of the length, all the way to the base of the head, rubbing the slit, and you could tell it was too much sensation for Jungkook, his eyes rolling back and uncontrollably groaning, longing and need, cutting himself off when he abruptly realized that he was still in the shared penthouse of the swanky hotel that he and his friends had booked.

He slapped his hands over his mouth, dark brown eyes wide, long black hair sticking up every which way, adorable bedhead, and you could tell he was struggling, stuck between telling you to stop in case anyone heard him, but it was too late, he was too far gone, whining behind his shaking palms as you pinned his hips down, tilting as you descended so the engorged head rubbed against the roof of your mouth, wet, palpable friction.

You didn’t bother to hide the amusement in your eyes as Jungkook’s glazed over, succumbing to the pleasure. Heavy pants leaking through his closed fingers, his naked chest shaking with effort, staring down at you. You were still clothed, kneeling between his legs and your ass up in the air.

Black skintight leggings ruining his life.

His grip over his own mouth was loosening.

He moaned deep in his throat. You lifted one hand. Continued to blow him, your tongue swirling around the length, sliding him into the back of your throat. You walked two fingers across his abs and then jerked your thumb in the general direction of the door.

Jungkook dropped his hands, shuddering whisper, his silvery voice hoarse from sleep.

“I don’t care, don’t care, p-please…”

You jammed him all the way down and scooped up his balls to your tongue with your free hand, rubbing the head against the top of your throat, powerfully pulsing the muscles around it. He sputtered, tumbling into rambles, talking too fast in his rough voice, dragging his hands through his hair, pulling at it to add stinging pain to amplify the brutal pleasure your mouth was giving him.

“N-No, keep going, please, I missed you, I’m sorry, I got mad, it was s-stupid, I’m stupid, I want you all the time and, I know, it’s distracting, I know you paid for the pass to play the event and all you did was tell me to go on vacation with my friends, I s-shouldn’t be mad, I just miss you, I just want you, please, noona, don’t stop, please…”

He pressed his hands to his cheeks, covering his embarrassment with chunks of black hair, his eyes only partially visible, trembling tone, ears red, pink flaring over his cheekbones, dropping his tone to a imploring whisper, the mole underneath his lower lip quivering, desperate.

“Please… please let your little bunny c-cum…”

You hadn’t expected an apology so soon. Perhaps he felt guilty and it had been on his mind for a while now. You were going to slow down, maybe edge him a little, but only to talk. You hadn’t even said hello yet, but Jungkook was pleading with you, appealing to his queen, ah, he was so good at it now, that stubborn pride crumbling down, glassy eyes so vulnerable. Starving to be devoured, and, well.

You didn’t want to stop anyway.

You grinned around his cock and audibly slurped up the length, blanketing the twitching head with your tongue and rubbing it all over before swallowing him again.

“Fuuuuuuuck…”

You gave it to him the way he liked, suffocating, deep, not too fast, building it and building it, compounding pleasure, layering the sensations. Kneading his hips, pricking his skin with your nails. Lips soft. Mouth tight. Tongue moving at a slightly different pace, massaging the underside to push it up against the roof of your mouth, your eyes on his face, teasing him until he was forced to look away, throwing his head back and gasping, too good so he closed his eyes to feel more, his hands curling to fists, bunching up the white sheets under him. Black tattoos on tan skin, rippling muscle, clenched jaw and wanton moans leaking from gritted teeth, warning you he was close, his hips threatening to rise.

You held him down, not letting him get away.

His jaw unclenched and Jungkook gasped, holding his breath, arching his back, and there was no mistaking it as the groan dragged unwillingly out of his chest, obvious that he wished to last longer, but it was too late, he was already there, erotic high so strong that his right hand flew up and smacked into the headboard, so hard that the wood violently rattled against the wall.

“Fuck!”

He shot into your throat and you swallowed right away, wrapping your lips around his jerking length, his orgasm coating the back of your tongue, strong and salty and thick, delicious, and you half-wondered if he hadn’t jacked off all this time, maybe, maybe not, but he tasted good, so good you held some in your mouth and painted his cum onto his shivering cock to lick it off, listening to his small whines and gasps, trying to cover them up the best he could, his shoulders flinching as your tongue softly toyed with the sensitive head, keeping him inside your mouth, playing around, caressing his sides.

Lazily looking up at him.

Slurping. Wet, lewd, and loud.

Jungkook was panting, his black hair all over his face, messy and slightly sweaty.

“C-Come up here and kiss me,” he demanded.

You hummed, lapping at the slit with the tip of your tongue, cleaning him off.

“I’d rather not. You have morning breath.”

Only then did Jungkook seem to remember that he was not, in fact, in your apartment.

-

“I can’t go out there.”

“Why not? I told you they went to pick up breakfast. They weren’t here.”

“So what? They’re going to be back at the end of this shower.”

“We don’t have to do anything.”

His fingers closed in around her hips and dragged him to her, pressing his nose into her wet hair, rolling his crotch into the juicy softness, addicted to it. Already hard. How could he not be, seeing the water dripping down gleaming skin, highlighting that perfect curve?

“I have to,” he breathed, hot and heavy against her ear.

Pressed her chest into the wall, the water glossing over them, and her hips swayed, reaching between them, lining his stiff length in between her ass cheeks, delicious wet friction, his hands holding onto her ass to keep it tight but letting her do all the moving, her body below him commanding his.

That was how Jungkook liked it.

He pressed his chest against her back, putting his weight on her, slow, even thrusts, his lips against her ear, unaware of his soft moans and wispy gasps, his eyes closing, yes, it felt that good, fuck, please don’t make me leave you again, I can’t take it, I hate not being near you, and she chuckled, her palms pressed into the shower wall, you’re a naughty distraction, no, he wasn’t, I’m not, I need you.

Jungkook liked being told what to do.

Unless the order was, you can’t see me for a week.

Then he hated it.

“Punish me,” he mumbled.

The water tumbled down, down. His lips brushed against the curve of her ear. It was his breath that was shivering, anticipation eating at his sanity, listening to her calm exhale, knowing she was smiling under his larger frame towering over her. He was the king in this kingdom, but this kingdom belonged to his queen. He had no power here.

He never did, and that was how Jungkook liked it.

“Punish me, please.”

He ran his fingertips over her wet skin, pouring his love in his touch.

“I love it when you punish me.”

He rarely said these kinds of things. Only quietly, when they were alone, when he was sure she could hear him, when he wanted it more than he wanted to hold onto his silly, stubborn, stupid pride. It was all for show, anyway.

He knew it, she knew it, fuck, his friends probably knew it too.

Her voice was smooth, sultry, sensual. “Back up a little for me.”

He obeyed.

She bent down more, and he backed up more, confused, unsure what to do, knowing they always used condoms for birth control, so then–

Jungkook choked as she spread her ass with one hand and guided his cock. Pushed back, and he locked his legs, standing rigidly because that was the only thing he could do, suddenly enveloped by mind-numbing tightness and then pillowy softness wrapped all around him, sucking him into her ass.

Oh, God.

He had thought about it, of course, he did, who didn’t at least wonder, but he figured, no, it wasn’t going to happen, and, in any case, he was a bit of a clean freak, at least when it came to hygiene, he didn’t think he could want it due to the very nature of the act, he had never thought about it in the shower and he could barely think about it now, grasping her hips for dear life, hardly able to comprehend that he was doing anal.

Right now.

Perfect round ass flush against his crotch, her palms against the shower wall, bent down to get that angle, lowering a little more and, fuck, that was it, that was the position, not too high and not too low, perfect constriction at the base of his cock, so tight but so soft, not quite as much stimulation as the pussy, not as rigid as her hand, and not commanded by the multiplicative skill of her mouth, this was something else, a whole new sensation, ring of tightness right at the entrance and then.

She moved.

She rocked her hips forward and smacked her ass back onto him.

“Oh, fuck!”

Jungkook had forgotten that he should probably move, wait, should she be stretched out, he didn’t know, he had never, oh my God, she thrust his length into her at a measured pace, building it up, harder and faster, water dripping down legs, back, ass, swirls of wet hair swept over one shoulder, fucking him as if he was merely her personal sex toy, rough pace, soft hips in his hands, and who was moaning so loudly and so pathetically, not him, right, no, and then he heard her chuckle, raspy with exertion.

The moaning one was him.

Damnnit.

“Don’t tell me you’re all bark and no bite. Come on, Jungkook, fuck me.”

He clenched his jaw to silence his whines and thrust forward, gasping for air. It was too much, it was a little wrong, it was too good, it was driving him just a bit insane and then some. His fingers sinking into her ass, his hard thighs slapping into her soft ones, his balls smacking her slick pussy, oh wow, he could feel it, feel her slippery cum spreading all over and she threw her head back in a sharp hiss, ah, Jungkook, yes, I’m going to cum, and his eyes widened, the powerful massaging pulses enveloping his rock-hard length, familiar but different, still so soft. The dirty squelch of her orgasm, fully audible and nearly as loud as their slapping hips, drenching his inner thighs along with the water.

“Fuck, that’s so sexy…” he managed to gasp out. “Can feel you cum on me, fuck…”

And suddenly he needed it again, just one more, harder, holding onto her hips and slamming his crotch into her, asking between pants, are you okay, tell me, please, and she growled back at him, sending hot shivers all over his skin with her forceful tone.

“Give it to me, Jungkook, want you to creampie my ass.”

Who needed sanity anyway?

Sanity was overrated.

“You’re so tight, a-ah… I can’t, please cum, I want to feel it again, please, n-noona…”

Harder, faster, together, her pushing back and him pushing in, so deep that he forgot the bathroom echoed his cries, needy and lustful and helpless with desire, her name mixed with his pleas, no one else, he wanted no one else and if that made him crazy, so be it, he loved it, he loved everything she did to him and the claws she had buried into his heart, just a helpless little bunny in the jaws of the big bad wolf, hunted again and again, wandering back into his cage to be bound by this passion over and over again, raising his hand and spanking her ass sharply, once, twice, fucking loud, as loud as the slapping of their hips, and there was nothing better than her breathy moan and lovely purr, her hands curling into fists against the white tiles of the shower wall.

“Gonna cum, Jungkook, mmm, fuck!”

She bucked her ass back into him.

Squirted down his inner thigh with a splattering squelch, all the way to his knee.

Jungkook came in an instant.

Everything crashing down, shooting his load deep inside, his cock twitching and shuddering, so strong his shoulders and spine shook, a lustful, shameless groan exploding out of his chest, immediately letting go of her ass and raking his nails down her back, scratching it up because the euphoric high was so, so intense, uncaged and uncontrollable, and she squeezed him approvingly, making his eyes roll back into his head, throwing his wet hair back, arc of black now out of his vision, pleasure bolting up his core and seizing his heart.

Infinite duress in the claws of her passion.

He basked in it, hot steam and agonizing afterglow, and then he reached down, collecting her in his arms, yanking her up, furiously kissing the tops of her shoulders, her fingers caressing his forearms. He could feel it, her love in her touch.

The queen of this kingdom, all his.

-

“Well.”

“He’s not sulking.”

Six pairs of eyes watched the two heads leaning against each other. Both had matching soaked, folded white towels on top of their heads.

“Now I’m sure that a juicy ass can solve anyone’s problems.” A small hand in a graceful arc, as if he was indicating the definition of a problem. “Exhibit A. Jeon Jungkook.”

A single dark brown eye opened, glaring at Park Jimin.

Then, without warning, a tattooed arm swept a small tsunami of hot water right into Jimin’s face.

“Gah!”

Unlike most times, Kim Taehyung could not block water. He was not Aquaman, nor did he try to be, and he immediately swam away from Jimin as the shorter man pretended to drown.

Dramatically, of course.

“Why are you guys in the hot tub anyway?” Jeon Jungkook hissed. “Go away.”

Kim Seokjin scoffed. “If we leave, you two are going to do indecent things.”

“That wouldn’t be very nice for the hotel workers,” Kim Namjoon scolded, shaking his head.

“What? I thought we were watching?” Jimin complained, immediately forgetting that he was supposed to be pretending to drown. “Wasn’t that what he agreed on?”

“Nobody agreed to shit,” Jungkook spat, looking ready to forcibly hold Jimin’s head under water. Jung Hoseok wagged his finger at the youngest and swam in front of the giggly troublemaker protectively.

“Never know. You might like it,” a raspy voice hummed.

Jungkook whipped his head to the closed eyes of Min Yoongi. Only his head stuck out of the steamy water. There was a towel on top of his black hair, making him look like a freshly boiled dumpling. Yoongi opened one eye pensively. Unbothered as usual.

“It’s important to try new things. That’s how you grow.”

Jungkook seemed hesitant to drown Yoongi and whipped his head to you, his big brown eyes desperately asking you to refute his hyung’s words. Do something! Instead, you palmed his already hard dick under the bubbling hot water, right through his swim trunks.

He froze up, sputtering.

“Yoongi’s right, Jungkook,” you mused thoughtfully. “You can’t expand your horizons by doing the same thing again and again. Aren’t you always looking to improve?”

Jungkook turned beet red and not because of the hot water.

“NO!” Seokjin shrieked.

“YES!” Jimin shouted.

Everyone started yelling.

Except you and Yoongi, who simply sat there with towels on your heads, and Jungkook, who slowly sank under the water and pretended he was Aquaman, despite everyone knowing that he would probably make a better Spiderman with the way he tended to perch on chairs, but that was a story for another time.

-

part v

--

masterpost

[calxide]

calx’s experiments #1 poll/voting results!

this will include the voting results, and responding to suggestions & messages. if you'd like to know about my plans for my future works/smaus, kindly view this post!

NOTE this is a long one since i'd be voicing out my thoughts!

APOLOGIES, this took so long to be posted. i'm kinda busy this week but i want to publish the kazuha smau asap (prolly the first/second week of august) sooo thank you for your patience!

ー GFORM VOTING RESULTS!

✧ SMAU

i didn't need to add the gform and tumblr voting to know who wins LOL. obviously, kazuha smau is the winner LMFAO see this post if you'd like to see what to expect in "MIXED SIGNALS" since changes have been made, but don't worry because the concept remains the same!

two worlds apart!!!!! this ayato smau is my fave concept actually, but unfortunately i don't have much in my mind right now except for the conflict and stuff lol. i thought this would be the second most voted one but the concept preview was boring so i expected this too SHFUASHFUA

i honestly did not expect that a lot would like zhongli's one ("Professors of Love") because honestly, i didn't even think about it lol. i just thought the light-hearted concept would be cute but that's it, i did not have any future plans LMAO. but seeing as a lot would be looking forward to it, then i guess i'd be doing something about it :)

as for albedo's; first of all, OH MY GOD GUYS WHAT???? I've thought of the stupidest cringest (can't deny its cute tho) concept ever (chemistry was also a last-minute addition like "professors of love") and you guys liked it???? HAHAHA anyway, i didn't really expect THAT much would vote for it. i'm honestly surprised in a good way.

i'm sad because... love experiment (xingqiu's) was actually the first one that I've started thinking of the concept (i also outlined it a bit already before thinking about the other's concepts), and only a few voted for it but it's ok i still love you all :'D thank you to those who voted tho mwa &lt;3

✧ TAGALOG VERSION

even though majority did not vote for "yes" i'd still be making a tagalog version for the kazuha smau. if you'd like to know why, you can see this post about my plans for my future works!!

✧ GN!READER or FEM!READER?

since the voting was almost in half (24 for gn and 21 for fem), i'd be taking it into consideration and be making different smau that has gn!reader and fem!reader.

✧ ANGST

okay, for the eleven (11) people, i'm sorry but i love angst.

✧ HUMOR/CRACK

wow!!!! i'm quite surprised. HAHAHAHA ok warning: i'm not funny, good luck dealing with me. >o&lt;

✧ SUGGESTIONS

"this is just a suggestion for the future, not anytime soon! but would you be willing to do a heizou smau?" — hmm, yes, actually! while outlining one of my future smau (kazuha's,, not mixed signal), i have thought of a brilliant (/j) idea

"WE NEED SECOND LEADS" — good luck, anon! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (my future-second kazuha smau is laughing w me)

"Fluff drama and more fluff 😻" — i think we can all deliberately agree that fluff is the best &lt;3

✧ MESSAGES

"have fun writing your next one, whichever it is!!! ps. we love angst (as long as its happy ending bc im a baby) dhjsjfg" — i'd definitely have fun hurting y'all's feelings. AHAHAHA im jk, thank you so much! and don't worry, if ever i make a sad ending, i'd make an alternative happy ending kshfjshfjs

"Whatever you choose to make next, please make sure you're still taking care of yourself and not stressing out. Hehe" — yes, yes, thank you for concern! i hope that you are taking care of yourself too &lt;;3

"Time your time! Don’t rush and make sure to drink water &lt;3" — thank you!! i'd try not to rush it (since school is starting in august for me) so the output that i'll be publishing would still be good. thank you again!!!

"lighthearted stories are fun !! i love reading angst but sometimes we just need a nice happy/funny story yk?" — i absolutely agree! sometimes we all need something fun and cute especially when we feel down. therefore, i would be nice to all of you and make the kazuha smau funny (debatable) lmao

"pls no angst. i’m reading another scara smau as well and IM GONNA CRY" — i'm sorry

"I am desperate for some unhealthy amount of angsty 💔💔" — i gotchu

"they all sound really interesting (tho I do like the concept of the zhongli one more as I do like the teacher au's) but I am sure that which ever one it is that will be made (first, if you plan to make more of them) will be just as amazing as "abyssal love" :]]" — i felt pressured... just kidding gisfjsjfhjs. first, thank you so much! second, i'd definitely publish "professors of love" just for you &lt;3

thank you so much to all the people who are continuously giving love and support to my works! i love you !!&lt;3

[crispin-kreme]

Hello- This may seem weird but can I request enhypen as your friends/people you know from school? I just saw your reblog and It seems like such a fun idea haha, so I was wondering if you can do something similar? tysm! -non

oooh sounds interesting- i’ll try my best to do this without bullshitting it pls 🚶‍♀️

also hi @googoojeu i love your work AAAA

using they/them pronouns for some people i will be using (if that made sense akkswksja)

anyways hi i hope you enjoy!

enhypen as classmates/friends i know!

heeseung

so i have this one classmate who’s very good in singing and dancing

mF SHE’S AN ALL ROUNDER SKDJSDK

she’s also very pretty

note that she’s good in arts

well wtf did i say? aN aLl rOunDer

overall, the ace of our batch 😌🤌

jay

in my school- half of the students are either wealthy, let’s say all of them jk lmfao

but jay reminds me of one of my friend who i call her mom

@tobitobby h i

they both have the same bdays, same interest in fashion, idk maybe rich 😭😭😭 but yea

i refer to her as my mom bcs she’s the only one i could talk to when i can’t open to others

so like jay also- they care for others my dude,

did i mention that they can both cook 🤨 (although she does baking)

bUT SHE PROCRASTINATES A LOT but still gets high grades wow

jake

that one smart asf clasmmate i have

very smart like super- we always expect her to grab the awards in our school

loves math/science idk 😭

very good vocabulary

jake also reminds me of my friends in the copy reading category

copy reading is a part of journalism wherein they have to check the grammar before publishing the article (for those who dont know lol)

so yea- he lrly just reminds me of my classmates who are in copy reading 😭

THEY ALSO CHECK THE GRAMMAR IRL SODJAKDKDKDKDKW

sunghoon

the only reserved person i can think is the nuns in my school

jk lmao babawas ligtas points

she’s not really my classmate but she’s the sister of the smart asf student i just said before

they’re both pretty btw

she’s smart and reserved

like she’s really quiet omg aljdjwkd

but most of my elementary friends thought she’s intimidating i- 😭

yes, the smart student’s sister is in elementary KSJSJAJ

sunoo

idk how to call this classmate honestly 😭

the bibo kid classmate 😐

PLS IDK MY ENGLISH IS GETTING WORSE I HAVE TO REVERT TO TAGALOG TERMS

i have this classmate who always likes participating in school events

loves makeup pls 😐

resembles sunoo bcs both are bubbly

but pls sometimes i just 😐

like i love sunoo more than her- HAHSJAJ

jungwon

no shit he doesn’t resemble my class president aT ALL

so most likely resembles my friend who i refer to them as my dad lmao

although they don’t lead (but they’re part of the student council btw-) they just resemble jungwon for some reason

@prync3r3n hehe hi

they really care for us in a way and they’re really down to earth

they kinda do have the same humor as jungwon

leading skills are ok 😐 KSJSJAHA I JUST DONT SEE THEM LEAD THATS WHY

but overall they’re nice and ily dad

ni-ki

this one friend i have who dances a lot

sadly, we don’t attend the same school bUt- we’re still in contact

loves dancing 💃

she’s a really good dancer tbh

but idk if she still dances mans KAJJQJS

the humor is also the same its just she’s always saying the wrong things at certain times 😐

lutang (pls translate this idk whats the english term of lutang)

likes minecraft tiktok and i feel like ni-ki plays minecraft so 👁👁

—

this looks half bullshitted but i hope you liked it! ❣️

[chateautae]

hey sammy how r u doing? just wanted to let u know that i’m rereading mid for the 5th time (don’t judge me lol) and i was wondering half way thro reading it what was ur favorite chapter to write and read? mine is definitely chapter 8! i love everything about that chapter it’s literally my favorite it’s so well written and the emotional build-up is just on point. you’re a genius i swear. also i know ure writing hotter than hell rn too and i can’t wait for it but i wanted to know is hotter than hell coming before to turn a bad thing good or after? cuz jk has been killing me lately and i can’t wait for a fanfic of his honestly. also thank you so much for ur writing i swear it keeps me sane sometimes lol🤍

I COULD NEVER JUDGE!! Ugh this is such a dream to hear as an author so thank you for making it come true 🥺💓 NAURRR this is such a tough question for me since every chapter was made with my utmost love and effort and having a favourite is uGH. But i think in terms of writing and the overall quality of the chapter's content, my favourites are definitely either chapter 8, chapter 10 or the final!! I shall answer the hotter than hell question at the end too hehe 😌

Chapter 8 was just completely my everything because the writing came so easily to me and i had been envisioning the exact scenes of angsty tension and that club scene since forever!! The scene where they dance and things are hot is probably the first real scene of maybe I do i ever thought of so seeing it play out was just OOF.

Chapter 10 is one of my favourites because being able to not only play around with the story but play around with the mid babies as a couple was possibly my favourite. Their little conversations or moments of pure happiness are perhaps my ultimate favourite because it's just them having this wonderful connection i enjoy illustrating, not to mention wifey oc really opening up about her trauma was some of the most raw writing i had ever produced.

Lastly, the final will always have a special place in my heart because I had always originally thought of the idea of a pregnancy scare, but i had never fleshed it out nor thought about her ever hiding it so much from him. The idea of her becoming so overwhelmed by it that it leads them to that devastating bathroom scene was possibly some of the realest writing i had ever had the capacity to depict because UGHHHH the idea was just everything, and tae lowkey knowing but giving her the time to talk was beautiful of. The little snapshots of their life was mere perfection to me and just the idea of them re-doing their wedding was always such a beautiful moment i had planned.

AHHH I'VE RAMBLED but thank you so much for asking me this question, it's not often i get asked of my opinion as the author!! Tysm for loving and reading maybe I do and i'm so glad you enjoyed the story!! hotter than hell will for sure come before to turn a bad thing good! i'm going to finish the lucifer jk story in its entirety before i move onto another jk!!