#lol im sorry. im sorry it has been weird to be a transmasc on the internet lately and i do my best to ignore and move on

[spitblaze]

If you see someone saying 'reblog if you support transmascs if you hate transmascs get off my blog' and feel the need to go 'erm...considering the current discourse this is problematic to say...' perhaps take a step back. And then another. A few more. Keeeeeeep going

[pansyfemme]

hey i know you're not an advice blog or anything and feel free to ignore this but im a sophomore this year and ive been questioning my gender for a couple weeks. i think i might be nonbinary or a demiboy or something because i really hate being called a girl and i get so jealous of my bsf who is transmasc cause he's a boy. however im trying out a new name with that same friend rn and i like being called it and everything but idk if im really getting that huge euphoric rush most trans people describe. idk i thought i was trans for a while in 8th grade but i never told anyone or did anything about it and now i feel like it's too late. im scared im faking it because i really dont mind my legal name all that much (it doesn't feel right but i don't hate it) and like what if i just have some weird sick subconscious desire to win the "oppression olympics" or something. my first ever relationship ended a couple months ago and it was with a girl and idk if that has anything to do with my gender stuff. im just scared im faking it or something and i feel like no one will ever see me as a real trans person because im only just now realizing this. anyway sorry for dumping all this in your askbox feel free to ignore this if you want to im just really confused and some advice would really help lol

hey there. just gonna say a few things.

from what i’m hearing, you seem to have come to a conclusion of sorts already. being trans is a difficult thing to figure out, but you seem to have identified a lot of feelings and why you might be having them. I’ll tell you a few things- i don’t mind my birthname either, i changed it because it wasn’t mine, not because it hurt me. i even tell people it openly. i know trans people who never change their names at all. second, feeling like it’s too late is a pretty much universal feeling amongst the community, and it’s never rational. you always have time. three, people do not fake being trans. every trans person is a ‘real’ trans person. if you think so much about being trans that you’ve began thinking that you may be faking it- that shows that gender transition is a serious consideration of yours. it’s scary and it’s hard, but i think you seem to have thought a lot about it and may know for yourself if it’s real or not. i wish you well.

[skittlespizza]

A SPACE ODYSSEY TUMBLR SIMULATOR

[FOR CONTEXT, the book mentions that the events of the Discovery have become a "classic" of sorts which implies there is a fandom in universe for the Discovery...]

🚀 davidbowmankinnie follow

Happy 100 years since the Discovery Mission!

🔴 hal10000 follow

can't believe it's been 100 years... it felt like just yesterday!

🎂 discovery-logs-outofcontext follow

rb with your favorite thing about the fandom. I'll go first. i found my best friend irl because I saw she was reading the Discovery Manuscript. She's a really big Hal fan and I love Sal a lot. We are hal & sal irl...

💾 heywoodslefttoe follow

i kin dated someone as frank/dave in middle school. It ended bad.

📼 chandradeservedbetter follow

LOL do you remember the Hal Plushie incident?

🪽 halleyscomet follow

The WHAT NOW?

🌐 halmanpoole-shipper follow

DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE HAL PLUSHIE.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

I CANNOT STAND HAL APOLOGISTS IM SORRY 💀 HE LITERALLY KILLED FOUR PEOPLE.

🔦 kaminskyy follow

Ofc its a frankdave shipper. Your fucking username IS FRANK DAVE ANAL SEX.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

Your fav has zero fucking lines in the book but ok 📸 ur literally a murderer apologist 😭😭

🔴 hal10000 follow

GOD shut up its not a book theyre real people. Hal also like?? Was going thru fucking psychosis but ok then... did you read the second mission??

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

You're a hal kinnie dni.

🧮 zeniiiia follow

Don't interact with op they've doxxed like seven people.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

BLOCKED 🤣

📀 legendofthediscovery follow

Just updated my newest fic! It's a hal/dave/frank fic, has 15 chapters and is a post canon fix-it!

💡chandras-son follow

GODDD THE HAL/SAL/CHANDRA INTERACTION IN THE NEWEST CHAP IS SO CUTE... OP I AM DYINGGG

📀 legendofthediscovery follow

I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOUR ART... IM HAPPY YOU LIKE IT. YOU INSPIRED A LOT OF THE CHANDRA FAMILY MOMENTS 🩷

💡chandras-son follow

CAN WE BE MUTUALS

🔎 dave-bowwman follow

Happy anniversary to my bfs @frankk-pooole and @ hal-loween. Couldn't do it without you guys

📺 betty-to-her-helena follow

Omg you guys are relationship goals...

🔎 dave-bowwman follow

THANK YOU <3

🎞 helena-to-her-betty follow

we neeeed to do that double date sometime.

〽️ frankk-pooole follow

YESS!! hal would also love it. Hes next to me btw.

🧿 monolithic-loser follow

the monolith is SO UNDERRATED.

🥏 tanya-heywood follow

🤝 I FELT THAT MY FAV IS LITERALLY TANYA NO ONE KNOWS HER AND MY RAREPAIR IS TANYA/HEYWOOD

🦾 hetty follow

Mine is betty/helena... no one even KNOWS OF THEM. SAPPHIC SHIPS DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER??

📽 sal-amander follow

> My favorite is Sal. I wish people talked about her more.

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

Petition to make the fandom less weird about the women in the book...

🔴 hal10000 follow

IT ISNT A BOOK.

🪐 jupiterreal follow

my god... its full of stars... I THINK ABOUT THAT ENDING SO MUCH. FUCKKKKKKKKK.

💾 heywoodslefttoe follow

IN THE SEQUEL HE COMES BACK BUT LIKE AS A WEIRD GHOST...

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

goddd wanna hear my headcanon ?? I hc he saved hal and they're living together as ghosts.

🔴 hal10000 follow

Bro you're reaching so hard for that ending.

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

LET ME DREAAAAAM

☀️ apolloeleven follow

Transmasc!David Bowman is real and in this essay...

〽️ frankk-pooole follow

REAL... i know dave trust me.

🌐 halmanpoole-shipper follow

Frank and dave transmasc and agender hal is canon

🔦 kaminskyy follow

REALL. T4T4A or something

🦾 hetty follow

Looking at the Discovery RPF tag is SO FUNNY. It's halman porn, davefrank angst, chandra found family and THEN THE MOST SOUL CRUSHING HELENA/BETTY POST CANON FIC EVER... going sooo insane

🔴 hal10000 follow

Sorry we left your boyfriend in space... yea.. hes floating out there for eternity..

🔦 kaminskyy follow

Sometimes i wonder what the irl discovery crew & lenonov crew would think if they saw this.

🔴 hal10000 follow

They'd have a fucking heart attack.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

LOL

🔴 hal10000 follow

Didnt you block me?

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

Im not a pussy it was a bit jfc

🔴 hal10000 follow

What did i do to you oh my god

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

Wanna make out

🔴 hal10000 follow

?????????

🎰 discovery-alerts follow

HEYWOOD KNOWS ABOUT THE HALFRANK FIC

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

HUH????

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT THAT ONE???

📺 betty-to-her-helena follow

HOW DID HE FIND THAT?

DOES HE READ DISCOVERY RPF..... NOOOO????

🛸 tsiiiiiiiien follow

OUgh

🛸 tsien follow

SAME PROFILE PIC LOL

Also. WHAT GHE FUCK.

🪽 halleyscomet follow

Whats the halfrank fic?

☀️ apollotwelve follow

You sweet summer child...

[angel---eater]

im so curious what u mean by the vriskafication of jegbert? /genq

ive been watching the hs fandom from afar since the epilogues were dropped.

this is a rlly good question- i have a lot of thoughts and feelings abt june and how the fandom has taken to her her and is now portraying her in popular fanon. im so sorry this has gotten so long. im also sorry if i say smth you or anyone reading this disagrees with, but in my experience this is kind of inevitable when it comes to the topic of june egbert, trans characters who havent come out in canon yet, and trans headcanons as a whole. this shits personal to all of us and we all have different perspectives on transness, and oftentimes how we view transness in fiction is very much coloured by our own gendered experience.

it boils down to: can we please fucking let trans girls live. we are so fuckin weird about transfem folks and trans girls/women, even in fiction. sometimes especially in fiction, actually. especially on this gd website. if i have to see one more person defending june (and tgirl roxy) as a concept, and through that, defending real life transfems existences by talking about girldick or being a sweet docile sugary femme babygirlie kittycat, i will turn everyone into a fucking goldfish and flush you all one by one down my toilet. this, again, also extends to how a lot of the fandom handles trans headcanons in general, regardless of gender. all of what im about to say is from watching the homestuck fandom and fanon grow and change over 10+ years, basically since the beginning on this site specifically

some disclaimers for my trans resume i guess: i am intersex. i am plural. we as a system identify systemwide as transfemasuline or transneutral in an attempt to both honor and not speak over each other in terms of gender expression and individuality, while also trying to condense our existence for singlets to understand better, faster. we dont have time to explain all our shit all the time lol. we have transfems and transmascs in our system and everyone getting a fair, even chance at their preferred presentation is how we roll. we have lived a transfemasculine life. you cant put us in a single blue or pink corner, it wont work we are immune to that bullshit.

the vriskafication of june egbert is basically me trying to short-hand describe the way that ive seen some fans portray june post-transition by turning her into a mean girl[tm] type of person. there's also the roxyfication of june egbert, where other people make her a ditzy bimbo who can do no wrong because 'shes a girl now' and thats apparently how ppl still think girls should behave?? jegbert's canon personality traits need not apply anymore, apparently, bc that was icky boy behaviour. ghostbusters who? she likes shopping now. fanon june is sometimes eerily similar or exactly like vriska (fanon, woobified vriska, mind you, bc we still cant get a grasp on vriska as a fandom either) while also dressing very high femme and only high femme. because she has to perform someone elses femininity (spoiler: our own concept of what girls 'should look like' to be considered girls) instead of her dads masculinity now. shes either mean like vriska, or dumbed down like fanon roxy, who again has been watered down into a ditzy dumb girly girl who has done nothing wrong ever, bc shes 'just a girl', and bc people get Uncomfy when fictional tgirls do bad things. and oh boy has canon roxy done some bad things

as a counterpoint to my aesthetic based grievances, which are entirely personal- you can portray june egbert however you want. i personally invision her as very butch, but i could be totally wrong! im not even trying to make guesses here! this is my personal make-believe! she is not a real person and has never actually appeared as herself in canon. we dont know what junathan would/will be like during and post-transition. we dont know what an egg crack event will do to them. but some of the ways ive seen june portrayed feels........ off, personality wise. very off. and thats what i care about. it feels like malgendering in way too many cases, with the ditzy girliepop/catty girlbully thing. its straying too close to the tgirl brand of madonna/whore that tfems have to face in real life constantly. this is especially bad for tgirl roxy but i'll get to how fanon vs canon roxy is handled later

i use the word 'vriskafication' bc like vriska, june egbert (meaning tgirl jegbert, previously known as john in fandom and currently as john in canon, just to hammer it home that june and john are the same person, because some fans do seem to forget that john is living life believing shes a boy and a man right now and i dont think that should be erased) is still a pretty polarizing concept. fans either love her and disregard jegbert as ever having been john, or they disregard her as a concept in favour of how john is right now in canon. or theyre just straight up transmisogynistic about it bc they want their yaoi or their het ships. and BOY are some of the fandom not shy about that. which actually leads me into my next disclaimer:

im not including tboy/tmasc john headcanons in the above statement. i do not care about fighting over trans headcanons. i think that shit is just disrespectful and pointless and juvenial. you are fighting for nothing. june/john will not thank you for fighting for their trans rights bc they are not real and have no rights. june is not canon (yet) because she has not had that realization yet, and we dont know if/when she will. and genderbend aus have been a thing since the dawn of fandom anyway. more than one type of headcanon can exist at the same time. we are playing pretend. headcanons will never be proper representation. we are fans, not corporate entities or big directors or production teams churning out content for mass audiences. john has been considered a cis boy for FAR longer than june has been a popular concept, and you dont know how long someone has had or how close to someones heart their trans headcanon is, regardless of what flavour of trans headcanon it is. its rude. some of yall are so fucking mean for no reason other than 'you cant sit with us. on wednesdays we wear pink' rules. very intentional reference there

and i mean okay, roxy. big pink elephant in the room. no one respects or even acknowledges the fact that roxy in the Meat timeline is transmasc and currently only uses he/him, and when they do they're bullied fuckin relentlessly and ostracised from fandom spaces. ive seen entire hate campagns specifically for badmouthing transmasc roxy fans to try to get them to stop posting tmasc roxy stuff, or to see it as transmisogynistic violence akin to shooting a real trans girl live on tv. i have seen these comparisons be made on this site. ive seen others get actually violently transphobic about it back in 2019-2022, and even now. ive talked to fans who were mass dogpiled and harrassed off tumblr for liking meat!roxy's direction, or even just not publicly condemning him while having a neutral stance. i myself have been instablocked from servers and off of ppls blogs for thinking tmasc roxy is cool and a good plot point for his overall personal arc, especially in juxtaposition with roxy's pregnancy in candy, and how that affected her rship with her body and her gender. ive been called horrible things for even considering roxy to be anything but DMAB. that chapter in candy where we get a glimpse inside roxy's head about gender was beautifuly written with a lot of tact for trans people who can be or have been pregnant and enjoyed it, something that is INSANELY RARE. UNHEARD OF, EVEN, IN MEDIA. so this really isnt about trans rights or representation from my perspective. its just gendered bullying and a whole lotta white knighting from people who are majoratively not even fucking transfem.

the same notes of trans coding for roxy that fans deem only as transfem could be seen as coding for transmasculinity too. yes, including the XY thing. does anyone remember what foreshadowing is. and all of this even depends, hinges, on whether hussie intentionally wrote ANY of the human kids as trans initially or had it planned from the very beginning, which i really really really dont think she did!!! in 2009??? yeah fucking right!!!! the entire thing about roxy and jane pressuring dirk and jake into relationships is about cis girls feeling posessive of and entitled to queer boy's bodies and attention, because its something they cant have, and cis girls are seen as a group of people physically incapable of harm, which is misogyny that directly effects cis girls/womens victims. its a direct mirroring to cis boys doing the same to queer girls. and as much as i love all flavour of trans reads for the alpha kids in fandom, i dont think i wouldve appreciated it in canon. i wouldve hated it, actually. it waters down the message and makes everything far too messy and open to bad faith interpretation. we need more trans characters doing bad things in media, but the era the alpha kids section of HS1 was being published was NOT the time. an inarguably canon tgirl character preying on an inarguably queer tboy in 2011-2012? there would have been blood in the streets. i VASTLY prefer fanon interpretations when it comes to the alpha kids being trans. i trust fans way more, but i obviously still have reservations about that which is why im here writing all this

to further back this up- hussie has also openly discussed having her eyes opened to queer issues BY queer fans WHILE HS1 was still being updated!!! THATS why you can see a gradual influx of genuine queerness in homestuck as you read it!!! the vagueness of the trans coding we percieve in the text is why tboy john is still so popular!!! WAY more trans experiences, especially in childhood, are more similar than The Current Discourse bad actors will try to have you believe. please dont believe them, they're not right in the head and the ppl trying to convince you that someone has it The Absolute Worst are lying to you. we all have it bad, thats how oppressive systems work. its just in different patterns for indiviuduals. a middle class trans persons oppression can and often will look VASTLY different to a poor trans persons oppression bc different axis of oppression are at work. it depends on the type of person our oppressors label us as, they dgaf if anyone identifies as TME or TMA. thats a little beside the point but its absolutely contributed to how fans treat fictional trans characters, especially in the last few years

i hate hate hate the ideology in this fandom that one trans interpretation or headcanon is more valuable, or hits harder, or is more idk narratively transcendient or powerful than The Other, so The Other is deemed boring/bland/sauceless/whatever and deserves all the hate and takedowns and dismantling and nitpicking it gets. the fans of this Other Trans Headcanon deserve their hate and calls to kill themselves because theyre just Wrong About It. but thats not true. none of that is true. you just dont vibe with other flavours of fanmade trans narrative. and thats completely fine actually. its literally like preferring carrot cake to raspberry pie. it is on that level outside of transphobic biases, and i sincerely believe that a lot of fans start out on that level, but dip into transphobic biases because of the constant fucking weird moral panic about trans girls, and by extension, young trans people as a whole. which is not fine. whats also not fine is attacking fans of trans characters over said trans characters gender, canon or interpreted!!!

to tie this tf up bc i dont want this to go on for any longer than it has, im so so SO SO SO tired of fanon june and roxy being trans girls first and foremost over their actual characterization. and im even MORE tired of the word 'girl' being taken in fiction to mean dumb, sweet, (white)feminine, wouldnt hurt a fly, so so cuddlysoft, girlboss it up girlfriend, you cant sit with us, im such a cool bitch, im cooler than you dumb gross boy because im a girl, what personality i dont have one i dont need one because im a girl.

so much of fandom has forgotten that roxy is fucking mean and WILL ignore whatever doesnt fit her whims/wants and will plow through her closest friends and loved ones regardless of the situation at hand because of what she wants. she canonically admitted to harrassing dirk on the daily because she wanted him, because she was lonely and couldnt see past her own hurt to see that she was also hurting her friend. and oh my god, mom lalonde, worlds first abscent mother who swears up and down that she loves you really, rosie posie, its just that mommy's real hungover again and also very busy. that is BRILLIANT characterization for a female character, and its been forgotten behind the big pink bedazzled neon ITS A GIRL sign. and the same has been happening with june!!! and it sucks!!!! us transfems are just people we are JUST people. i dont want trans girl characters only point of characterization to be trans and girls!!!! i dont want talking heads and perfect cardboard cutouts in lipstick!!!! when june happens i want her to be exactly the same as when she was john because thats who i became enamoured with in HS1 and thats who i watched grow up in the epilogues and THATS who i want to see finally find their place in paradox space as herself. i want her personality intact, and i dont want to see her forget or turn her back on her childhood and teen and young adult years. i dont want june to be fanon vriskafied

[shigayokagayama]

sakurai hato or minegishi :3? my faves

sakurai:

Sexuality Headcanon:

this man is gay

Gender Headcanon:

honestly nothing in specific. cis but in a "never really put much thought into it" kinda way. could he be inclined to question or transition? perhaps, but he is too busy cleaning up the giant comical jar of disgusting orange sauce that spilled all over the floor because a customer insisted they could fit a weeks worth of groceries into one cheap reusable grocery bag and it predictably split open and went everywhere and now the whole store smells like nondescript orange sauce and he has a headache from the smell but the manager will be pissed if he closes the register and moves to one further away so he just has to mop it between customers and the stain remains until they redo the nylon in 30 years.

A ship I have with said character:

koyama. made for each other.

A BROTP I have with said character:

i really like thinking abt post canon 7th division staying friends :] i think they hang out sometimes

A NOTP I have with said character:

none that come to mind? obvious stuff aside i suppose

A random headcanon:

a common theme between all three of these characters is that theyre young enough to fall in the age range where they could have been kidnapped by claw and i choose to believe that's what happened. especially sakurai. this kid screams kidnapped. no one would have looked for him....

General Opinion over said character:

i dont think about the 7th division members all that much just because they all get introduced in my least favorite arc so i dont really have a reason to reread/rewatch unless im doing a full series rewatch, but as a background character enjoyer seeing people have thoughts on them makes me very happy

hatori:

Sexuality Headcanon:

gay asexual seems right for him i think :]

Gender Headcanon:

definitely some flavor of transmasc

A ship I have with said character:

computers. other than that ive seen people ship him with joseph and i see the vision.

A BROTP I have with said character:

similar to above i think he and the rest of the super five are still buddies after everything.

A NOTP I have with said character:

this is a weird question to answer for the more minor/background characters so instead ill say "i used to sorta ship him and minegishi in like a qpp sorta way when i thought they were like the same age but learning minegishi was like 19 and punching the numbers meant that unless they didnt meet until less than a year precanon there's no way to make that not weird so i dropped it". so it goes.

A random headcanon:

ditto to above and also reddit moderator. i know he's a reddit moderator on some tech forum giving the world's most smarmy and least helpful advice

General Opinion over said character:

i like him! i dont think of him too often but im fond of all the super five.

minegishi:

Sexuality Headcanon:

ace aro :]

Gender Headcanon:

transfemme nonbinary <3

A ship I have with said character:

none really. they dont have time for that they have a thankless minimum wage job to work.

A BROTP I have with said character:

super five but also i realized hoshida from the reigen manga is in the age range to have gone to middle school with them before they became a terrorist and the idea of them having been childhood friends who fell out of touch and then him turning on the news to find out the kid who used to make him clover necklaces is wreaking havoc on downtown is REALLY funny

A NOTP I have with said character:

most things honestly at this point. i am so sorry shimamine shippers they took everything from you with the fanbook

A random headcanon:

i feel like post canon theyd become a bug person. like, getting big terrariums with self sustaining ecosystems of invertabrates :]

General Opinion over said character:

i actually like them a lot! i feel like its clear from the answers to these that theyre the one out of these i think about the most frequently lol. i just. how did you join the upper echelon of a terrorist organization at age 16. what happened.

[rexecutioner]

Ok so I’ve been here for a while and I just remembered I never did an introduction post!!

My online name is Rex, I use They/He pronouns (transmasc), and I am a minor. I am fine with adults interacting with my content, but please don’t get out of line. I am a white American who is not proud of my country at all. Fuck Trump!!!

I claim to be the “#3 Vylad fan of all time” but that’s just so I can really emphasize how much I love the character. I wont attack you if you say you like him more than me. It’s just for fun lol

I am an artist, but I do rant/write on a whim every now and then, and have multiple story/game ideas in mind.

Interests:

Life Series (I watch any povs)

Rainworld (I love you Rivulet)

Will Wood (AGAGAGGAGAGAGAGGG)

Dnd (my current campaign has been running for almost two years now)

Splatoon (TEAM FUTURE FTW) (nvm)

MCSM IM SO INSANE ABOUT IT (i love you Petra and Lukas)

Aphmau’s old content (lucinda you will always be iconic)

My Ocs (Specifically Rory and Harold, feel free to ask about them!)

Dangonronpa V3 IM NOT DONE WITH THE GAME YET BUT MY MIND IS INFESTED

FnaF (not as active anymore, will be hyped when more stuff comes out)

Technical Theater (I have been a Techie for about four years now, doing tech for every school show I can)

Cosplay (Specifically Vylad, I really want to cosplay)

Vylad Ro’Meave in general (he is my favorite)

and other assorted interests that may pop up at some point.

This blog is technically a side blog? I’ve abandoned my main blog so my asks will always be anonymous and my Likes will show up under a different name. I have left that blog behind me.

I am Asexual and Transmasc, I don’t really have a name for my romantic attraction yet but I do know that it does not include men.

Just because I am a minor does not mean I’m stupid or uneducated. I can and will talk about topics that include more heavy stuff like depression and mental issues, along with slightly more gorey stuff and Cults. (THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM DESENSITIZED TO GORE. DONT GO SENDING ME THAT SHIT OUT OF NOWHERE.) People tend to forget minors are anyone under the age of 18. Don’t worry though, I’m not an 11 year old in disguise lol.

I tend to be very interactive in the Fandom and like to like or reblog other people’s art or writing, as well as the occasional comment. Feel free to send me asks! Please do not DM me most times. If it can be said in a comment or ask, do that instead.

I have pretty moderate anxiety, so if I will probably not answer DMs. Asks are very welcome though! Please try to be kind, if I want criticism on art or writing I will ask for it.

I am very open minded, and if you feel the need to have a debate with me, I am not immune to changing my mind on some things. (Aka everyone is wrong sometimes, I used to ship Mennard. Sorry fnaf fans I was weird in 2020)

DNI: transphobes, homophobes, racists, anti-Palestine or Ukraine, pedophiles, pro-shippers, ect ect the whole fuck terrible people shebang.

FREE PALESTINE!! FREE UKRAINE!! FREE CONGO!! FUCK GENOCIDE!! FUCK OPPRESSION!! Have a pleasant day!

[withdenim]

Uhh hi!! Just saw your post in my tl and I really love your sora design!! You might know me from emo tho, im one of her/their friends— sorry if its makes you uncomfortable but uh yeah, what's your opinion about the newest season/series of ninjago??

Oh hello!! It’s nice to meet you! Emo’s a great mutual friend to have, love ‘em to death 💜💜

It doesn’t make me uncomfy at all! I have SO many opinions on Ninjago and no one irl to ramble to lol

Solid RGB siblings content. We love to see it. The hug? God, Ough, that was beautiful. But also all the ribbing at each other. They’re so cute 🥺

“Kai??” “I made a huge mistake!!” “I’m gonna kill you!!” Was so incredibly sibling of Kai and nya

The introduction of Arin and Sora was very cute imo. I love that we got so much content of Sora this season but I hope the next one is more about Arin. He was sidelined a lot in this one 😔

The addition of lloyd following them bc he thought Arin was one of the ninja was a fantastic way of getting them into the same place naturally

SPEAKING OF LLOYD

MY CRINGEFAIL SON??? What was he even DOING this season???? His BEST, that’s what.

The beard gag was so transmasc swag of him honestly

Um. I want them to Dragon Ball Z lloyd more. By which I mean continue boosting his powers to ridiculous extents. We got two of those this season iirc and I am THRIVING

Imperium City being so. Like That. Holy fuck. Girl that’s fascism with a feminist twist. Like we stan a girlboss but not when they’re giving that energy fr

Soras entire story and arc I’m sobbing??? That’s so. I’m holding her.

Killing her parents killing her parents killing her parents

Dude bring Oni Lloyd back or I’m gonna riot. You can’t leave the oni Lloyd arc unfinished forever. Let him go batshit

Or at very least let him come to terms with his anger and maybe even harness a more peaceful and controlled version of his oni side !!! Lloyd has so much to be angry at and crystallized acknowleged that and then didnt see it through.

Um. The giant fucking dragon in the tank????? Fire as FUCK dude

GIVE BACK COLE AND JAY I MISS THEM. THE NINJA MISS THEM

I stand by my post where I said Zane should have been found via falcon honestly trapping him in the basement felt weird like. Girl. Context pls?

It also felt somewhat demeaning like hm youre leaning away from his inherent humanity and only acknowledging his robotic traits

The dragons were all diversely designed and that goes hard

The “stay calm” bit with Lloyd and wu had so much potential and it kinda just. Sat there and looked pretty.

Arin was really just fantastic I love him so much.

OH. LLOYD TELLING ARIN HE HAS A FAMILY,,, guys holy fuck they are The Same and Different

Lloyd expanding the RGB gang AS WE SPEAK

Whoever said “Lloyd is to Arin what Kai is to Lloyd” you’re RIGHT

ALRIGHT that’s everything off the top of my head I think? I probably forgot a whole ton. Thanks so much for asking about it!!

[comerosas]

Sorry if this is outta nowhere, but in a desperate attempt to find people on here to relate to, I found a post of yours on an old, I assume abandoned, blog, about being a mexican trans guy/transmasc, and man. I felt that deeply. I'm also a mexican trans guy :) and I've been dying to find other mexican trans guys to like share these feelings like how you were talking in that post: losing your very large family bc you're trans, fearing they'd be straight up transphobic or just weird. I'm also not close with my extended family, and seldom visit mexico, but it's still a fear of mine, yknow? Being cut off because I wanna just be me. I'm not out yet to anyone, but these are the thoughts I have as part of why I'm so hesitant to transition and tell my family. But anyways yeah, I'm glad I found your post. I feel better knowing I'm not alone in those feelings. I wish you well, buddy :)

hey this ask was to be honest kind of weird to get (not in a bad way at all) because im not very active on tumblr and i purposefully avoid bringing attention to myself... but this ask also kind of means a lot to me.

i'd have to go back and find the post youre referencing cuz i dont remember how long ago i made it (was it on an older blog that links to this newer one?) but i completely understand (and have gone through) your desperation to find people like you. forgive me if this gets too rambley. i have a lot of thoughts on this.

even though trans people are everywhere online bc of the safety of being open online, it still feels extremely hard to find anything about a specific culture or not about white trans people. i kind of went crazy over it earlier in my transition. there is no advice or specific writings about how to come out to specifically latin american (MORE specifically mexican catholic) families and get them to understand you.

what happened to me was really weird and i'm not sure how common it is... i came out to my mom who is tolerant but early on said she doesnt approve. she said she would talk to my dad about it but he has never talked to me about being trans, and my parents never bring it up ever. its like a huge elephant in the room. it makes my plans of getting top surgery asap quite complicated (i came out at 23 yrs old and my mom said im too young for surgery)

online stuff related to nonwhite ftms is already quite rare, and even moreso when you look up stuff for specific groups like black, latine, asian, etc trans guys. theres a subreddit for trans men of color that i always forget the exact name of (its r/tmpoc had to look it up lol) and it is a nice read but its not as active as i wish. these frustrations of mine are compounded by the fact that although i am fluent in spanish, i'm much slower at reading it than with english so i have no ties to any online spanish speaking communities, nor do i know how to seek those communities out.

theres so much more i wish i had transition-related advice for, even for sillier smaller worries that I have. i think this is a weird time to be trans, theres a lot more visibility than people like us had in decades past, but theres still a lot of unknown territory and a lot of fear nowadays. because its hard to find stuff for your particular experience, sometimes you feel you could/should take up some kind of mantle as a spokesperson to help others like you... theres a lot of misinfo ive seen online about transition but i'm way too reclusive and private to put myself out there.

idk if youll end up reading this anon (does tumblr even notify you of anon asks being answered lol?) but either way i hope you end up finding more people like you, and i hope you can find even a little bit of community. and of course thank you for the kind words :)

[g0reoz]

GIVE ME UR XHAKA HEADCANONS RN ALSO RUWEI IF U WOULD BE SO KIND

of COURSE i would be so kind ^^

xhaka:

-tbh when u mentioned smth about him being like. some kind of mlm but also just using "queer" as a general descriptor i was like Yeah That Checks out. so. OUR headcanon ☭

-iknow he is probably cis. i know this in my heart. but also have you considered that Baby Trans-And-In-Denial Gavin realized that wearing baggy, straight cut pants and fucking w your posture makes it nearly impossible for ppl to read ur hip structure as feminine? have you considered that this guy saved me so much dysphoria. what if maybe he was transmasc and just fuckin killing it out there.

-listen xhaka and ruwei are best friends they are lovers they're a qpr they're dating they're in an unlabeled relationship. i don't even care. they are everything 2 me.

-mannn i wanted to see more interactions w him and shu in s1 :') dude was sooo desperate to battle shu and then the one time it happened was in s2 when shu was red eye and we rly only saw the aftermath :( more battles more interactions etc i think they had an interesting dynamic

-i don't really know or care enough abt shipping to have anything to say about a notp. aside from weird age gaps n stuff, it's kinda just whatever imo :)

-random headcanons: did you know he's a human space heater. now you do. not to project Too much, but if you're under the same blanket it's gonna be like a kotatsu lmao i also feel like he would be really into growing his own food; the dojo probably has a decent-sized garden :]👍 oh! and he has a nokia brick in 2022.

-ova. look at me. i think at this point you Know my opinion. for those of you who don't: i want to put him in the microwave. i think he would start sparking like when you put metal in there. this dude cracked the trans egg back in 2016 and has just sorta been rent free in my brain ever since. he's responsible for at least half of my outfit decisions at this point. he's not even that dynamic of a character he doesn't have any major arc or anything and yet..still one of (if not my absolute favorite) burst characters!! he's just like me fr (concerning)

-

ruwei:

-i think ruwei is bisexual. not gonna ngl.

-he/him but in a gender apathetic nonbinary way. the same way you refer to a random animal u see as he/him. i don't just say nb ruwei because of the long hair, either--he just sorta has that vibe.

-already mentioned that above lol

-ok this isn't exactly a brotp, but i want to see him interact with free at some point. they both come across as like rly calm and laid back but then they're both kinda Actually Insane. itwould be interesting. we should just let them go in the woods and befriend the local wildlife or something.

-idk. once again what else r people even shipping. i do feel like it would be annoying to see ruwei paired with ana though, just because it feels compulsively straight in the same way valt being paired with shasa is.

-RUWEI LISTENS TO WEEZER HE IS A WEEZER IM SORRY. IT'S TRUE. IT HAD TO BE SAID. HE TRAINS WHILE LISTENING TO IT SOMETIMES. he also can't keep a houseplant alive for the life of him. he isn't aware of this fact bc xhaka's been paying really close attention to the one he has ever since it was brought home. his bones and joints are also constantly cracking, which occurs so suddenly and loudly that it scares anyone in a 15-foot radius.

-my general opinion is that ruwei is cool 👍 like, in the way where he tries to be cool and badass but ends up looking kinda goofy while doing it, which circles back to being kind of impressive in a weird way. maybe not one of my favorite characters from all of burst, but definitely one of my faves from season 2!!

[trashimoto]

I forget how to do readmores on mobile so haha sorry everyone long post!!!! Doing it in alphabetical order for no reason lmfao.

Also these are just my silly lottle headcanojs, they change sometimes and arent set in stone qnd obviously you dont have to agree with them its just for fun!!!! :)

emma: transfem genderfluid lesbian!!!!! she/they I think also with acting stuff if theure working on a role for a long time she kind of ends up during that period of tome adopting the gender of the character LOL

hajime: Im partial to transmasc nonbinary hajime lol i like bigender hajime a lot thats what my favorite has been lately. I think hes gay as well and i thinj that being bigender for him is like being a trans guy + being a girl in a gay man way if that makes sense. I think hes he/him but other gay dudes and specific people who undersrand his gender and he trusts can use she/her

hibiki: Sorry the twins are cis to me :( shes either bi or pan as well. I think she does like to play with her gender presentation too as a performer but i think thats less her veing trans and more of her maybe being gnc. Yeah i like gnc cis hibiki sure lets go with that.

iroha: I think gender is far too confusing and iroha gets all confused wheneber she thinks about it ao she doesnt. Shes fine with any pronouns but she hasnt really said anythint about thqt so she usually just uses she/her. I genuinely could not tell you her sexuality because to me iroha is just iroha. Creature. You know

kanade: cis lesbian. I have a very complicated relationship with the twins kanade especially bc some parts of their story hit too close to home with me so i havent tjought in depth about this. I dont think her sexuality is of much importance to her because shes got much more importqnt things going on and hinestly same with gender but for now ill say shes a cis lesbian who maybe that would change if she looked into it more

kokoro: Cis girl and i genuienly dont knwo what to say her sexuality is. I dont want to say aro kokoro because like i feel like she wouldnt be particually good representation and it feels weird to me in the same way that saying light yagami is aro feels weird to me. Like I dont really like that headcanon because it feels kind of “all aro people are EVIL LOVELESS CREATURES” idk if its actuwlly that deep or not wo no hate if you (responsibly and respectfully) headcanon her as aro i just personally dont like that one. I’ll say either het or bi for her.

mikado: transmasc nonbinary boy adjacent. Bisexual. He/they/it/whatever i dont think mikado cares much about pronouns. His gender is guy who listens to oingo boingo if that makes any sense

nikei: I will always be a firm believer in trans guy bisexual nikei but ill be honest i think thats me projecting. I totally can see why people say gay nikei too but i see his liking of women as a little too real for that and i like him having an unrequited crush on bestie setsuka too much to have him not like girls lol. Plus i think having a crush on a very beautiful and sweet woman as well as a grimy rude stinky man is absoltuely 100% bisexual culture (i say this lovingly as a bisexual dude with the same taste as him. Oh also he/him

Setsuka: trans lesbian!!!!!!!! Although i also do like trans girl bisexual setsuka as well. I like trans lesbian setsuka more though. She/they

shinji: TRANS GUY BISEXY SHINJI!!!!!!!! He/him

sora: i like a lot of flavors of nb sora i think my favorite atm is transmasc agender lesbian sora atm. I like bigender and genderfluid sora a lot too though. Any pronouns

syobai: Well i also like transmasc bi syobai as wwll as transmasc gay syobai. i 100% think hes transmasc though and i think he did his own top surgery with a knife and lots of patience. He/him. I think he doesnt really think too hard about gender as a whole either i think hes just always been like that and didnt think much of it because he makes up so many fake names and stuff lol. Love this guy

Teruya: Absoltuely genderfluid my genderfluid pansexual friend Teruya. He/she imo.

yoruko: TRANS LESBIAN YORUKO!!!!!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!

yuki: I know this one probably is not going to be the most popular headcanon bc i understqnd why ppl like trans guy yuki but I like cis bi yuki. I like the subverting expectations of him being cis and shinji being trans. Sorry if this breaks anyones heart </3

yuri: i know that trans girl yuri is popular but im more partial to trans guy yuri. Obsessed with letting the girlies know hes “one of the good ones”. Either trans het or bi. Also (insert real world yuri) He is on T. He/him

Grrrr now i wanna post my sdra2 pride headcanons too i dont know if ive ever gotten around to doing that. Well would anyone be interested in that

[tottymatsuno]

Requests FAQ NO MINORS ALLOWED!

im sick of tumblrs text editors so im just gonna link to tiny urls.

https://abiesfir.tumblr.com/post/674702675586236416/updated-info-minors-and-blmtsuproshpper-dni

Everyone has been very polite to me, and I apologize because I'm writing this in a frazzled and agitated state so if it comes off as rude I'm sorry. I'll update with more questions as they come.

MINORS DNI

The Basics!

Who are you?/What's your age/What's your race?/How much free-time do you have?

I'm Robin, I am 26 and I am a black transmasc/genderfluid adult. I have mental illness and talk about it a lot, this blog is literally my healthy coping mechanism because I am currently unmedicated. I will not disclose anything else further on the matter. I am also physically disabled so a lot of my stories are unbeta'd bc of it.

I have a small baby and a wife so my time is very divided. I can't spend a ton of time editing and fixing things up perfectly and I don't actually have a beta editor. I do this to destress and as self care. So me enjoying the requests is important. Don't make me feel obligated to do these free requests bc I will get pressured and won't do them anymore.

Will You block me for being under 18?

YES, LEAVE, GO, DO NOT COME HERE, I DONT WANT ANY MINORS INTERACTING WITH MY POSTS! Leave!!! Don't fucking come in here!!! Don't bother, please just for the love of fucking God this is my one thing, minors and 18 year olds, GO HOME!

I HAVE WRITTEN MULTIPLE TIMES FOR MINORS TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I DONT WANT YOU HERE!

Can you do a request for X non African American culture?

No, I like to write for black american girls. Whatever I write would be culturally insensitive and would be solely based off of the stereotypes I know of. I wouldn't try to be racist or malicious, but I do this for fun and am not going to research a culture for a request. Not trying to be funny but there's also the fact that black girls are thoroughly under represented in self inserting/fics so I'm doing my part <3

You should def write your own though and link it back to me!! I would loooove to read it! I highly recommend and encourage for people to make the content they'd like to see!

What race are the Readers? Can I imagine myself or my own cultural/ethnic background?

All black! Every request, every reader, every story is written with a black woman in mind. All of them! And yeah go ahead! I try to avoid major character descriptions but yeah I don't mind! Have fun!

Why don't you write more trans fics if you're not cis and hc Totty as trans?

Hmmm, that's complicated but mostly because I struggle with gender issues involving being perceived as attractive and I deal with a lot of shame bc of it. If I'm a man and I like a woman, in my head I'm not allowed to be interested in her bc I'm not passing or presenting masculine. If she's a lesbian then I feel guilty because I'm a man. If she's bi I worry she'll think of me as a woman. Annd the same with men!

And I headcanon Todomatsu as trans and I do not want to come off as a chaser or being solely interested in him for being a woman. I wouldn't feel comfortable writing trans Totty sexually either bc I don't want to be offensive or weird. annnd I don't wanna base his trans status off of my experiences with my wife so. yea

Is this a requests blog?

No! This is a Todomatsu blog that DOES requests for fun! And not only is it a Todomatsu blog, its my self insert ship blog for Todomatsu. This is all for fun beloveds and I have the most fun making content for Totty.

Are you comfortable with like/reblog sprees?

GO AHEAD! Not gonna lie tho, it is kinda funny but does hurt my feelings when I see some of yall doing that and then not follow me...I have a couple regulars who show up everyday for like 2 weeks and then don't follow me. Follow me???

And gimme comments and laugh at my jokes and let me know I'm being funny and praise me???????? pls?

Can I DM you/Be your friend/Talk to you?

GO AHEAD!!!! I want friends!! If you wanna specific anon name you can have one, but feel free to be my friend! I'm not really anybody but that guy who doesnt stfu. i dont see myself really as a content creator or writer i literally am possessed and when I say this is mental illness baby you better believe my therapist knows all about Todomatsu and has heard half the shit I say on here.

Don't feel intimidated, I wanna be your friend more than you wanna be mine! Let's talk!

Requests!

How should we ask for requests

Preferably indicating if you want a bullet hc list, a minific (with your matsuno of choice or all brothers), your pronouns and the scenario.

If it's an art request please say so! If it's an art request from a meme link me the meme as well?

Are you still working on my request?

Unless I replied to the request itself and said no, then yeah. If I make a post referencing the request saying "I'll alter the prompt" its usually for my own comfort. But yeah, unless I answer the request without any text than yeah I'm still workin on it.

Some might take time because I have a very active life outside of this blog. My baby is high needs, I have lots of doctors appoints, I get hospitalized a lot, there's family emergencies, there's IRL obligations. I'm an adult, ik it might seem like it bc I'm glued to my phone but I have an adult's life.

It's taking a while, why is that?

Did you request a scenario with ALL six of the brothers, was it detailed, was it kinda just vague, did I make a text post saying I was working on it and it'll be a minific?

If so please know I'm working on it! Most minifics takes me a few hours to mentally map out - I'm doing SIX of them btw. Then I need to make an outline, SIX of them again. Then I need to actually write all SIX of them.

You answered my Todomatsu request right away but not my all boys request?

Because I'm a Totty blog! I don't hate the others and I love the requests I get but Todomatsu is my favorite I'm in love with him clinically and he is the current target of my diagnosed erotomania soooo I'm dropping everything to answer, draw, write, obsess and lust after him. Thank u send more requests of him specifically if u want a fast turnaround.

What makes you do a bullet list vs a mini fic?

if the request leads into a mini fic I'll do one. It's actually harder for me to think of bullet lists than mini fics so I kinda prefer mini fics.

Can request 18!matsu? Or a scenarios where the Matsunos have a SO that thinks of his brothers like their own?

No. The short of it is just NO. The long of it is: I have PTSD. My fear of interacting with children - especially little boys stems from deep seated childhood trauma. The most painful aspect of this of this trauma involves my step brother and several younger cousins. I will not further elaborate but I'm sure y'all catch my drift. Don't do it.

In my personal real life I am so terrified of men and boys younger than me that I refuse to think about men six months younger than me as attractive.

Do not ask me for anything involving the 18 vers of them that isn't strictly platonic.

And when I write I usually in some way or another imagine myself so if you want a request about the reader viewing the others as brother you must request only ONE brother and that's it. Do not ask me to write switching POVs from a reader who sees Oso-Ichi + Todo as little brothers while dating Jyushimatsu to a POV of Karamatsu being the love interest and the rest brothers.

I will shut down requests for a week if anybody asks for Todomatsu being seen as the reader's younger brother or Todomatsu under the age of 25. If it happens more than once I will no longer take requests indefinitely.

I sent a funny nonsensical joke and you didn't get it/I sent an anon and you didn't understand it?

I like things that I understand and with a context. I'm not ontop of all the latest memes and it's very hard for me to grasp when things are jokes.

What NSFW are you comfortable with?

https://tinyurl.com/whatwillyouwrite

Do you take Whump requests?

No is the short answer. No because I find the genre and fetish very uncomfortable as a disabled person. I don't like the idea of romanticizing people's suffering. I don't like the fact the genre is about kissing someone's pain better and then causing them more pain.

If someone was getting off to me crying or having a panic attack or my chest hurting or me getting taken to the ER or me fainting or me being physically dependent on them I would actually be very upset. I don't want to write about that because recovery is painful, yes but it's not a smut genre to me at least. Ik some whump isn't a fetish but it's so tied together. Anyways uh, no. Don't submit anything like that.

If you do and it slips through just know I probably didn't interpret it in the way you'd like and it'd be a serious piece and completely tonally unsexy and unfluffy. So save us both the heart ache.

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[fatsmyname]

Honestly if you know cis lesbians who are fucking gay men from grindr, they're probably transphobes who lie about being trans masc before going, after sex, "you fucked a girl, guess you're not gay". And tbh as someone who was raped via coercion like this, as a trans guy who has been attacked by cis lesbians who pretend to be trans men or non-binary on Grindr, I don't think it's funny. If you were the victim of a similar rape or robbery, you wouldn't either. Stop being a TERF, basically.

Uhh idk how to tell you that has nothing to do with what I said in my post and I am sorry that happened to you but?

Nothing I said implied any sort of coercion nor did it imply that the butches im referring to are even cis themselves 😐 I know so many butch guys who are transmasc who hook up with trans men and gay men. It’s fully consensual on both sides. And there’s like no secret about it at all. Like I’m sorry but. The butch lesbians engaging with this kind of dynamic are almost always trans lol. I was simply calling to attention the fact that, for literally quite some time now, there has been an established dynamic between butches and other transmasculine and or gay men that is sexual. And that I think it’s silly to hound on lesbians for making decisions on who to sleep with (consensually of course) because other people have strict ideas on what a lesbian should do.

I also don’t know how to tell you that there are a lot of butch lesbians who are trans men and lesbian. Gender is very nuanced and complex and some people are both. Idk man I just fail to see what you are getting at. Kind of weird to claim and immediately assume these people are transphobes who are faking being trans to coerce gay men into sex. When that is not the case at all and not at all anywhere near what I was trying to say with my post.

If there’s an inkling of t*rf rhetoric in my words I encourage you to pm me (or not I always keep anon on) about it so I may correct myself in the future and I welcome my followers to do so as well. I do try my best to stay on top of the dogwhistles and etc

[nothorses]

hey sorry if it comes off as weird, but i'm a bit desperate. i had a real bad time figuring out my identity growing up and for like, the past 4~5 years i've become really comfortable and happy whenever i referred and thought of myself as a gay nb trans man; i experience legit gender euphoria whenever ppl address or acknowledge me as such, and the most connection i feel is to gay/bi men/men-aligned ppl. that said, i've struggled with obsessive/intrusive thoughts since i'm like, 12~13 due to (1/?)

a phobia, and they often appeared when i was already feeling low/stressed/anxious over unrelated stuff. y'know when you're having a good time and suddenly your brain goes 'oh hey, remember that thing you have doubts about and makes you distressed? and you think it's not true? well, here it is again (: you're welcome!'. that's it.

so social isolation due to the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health and recently i have been... struggling a lot not only with dysphoria (i was supposed to start hrt last year but it was postponed due to, well), but also with obtrusive/intrusive thoughts over 'how i'm faking it, i am actually a cis lesbian' (i never felt attracted truly to women, even tho i had kissed two before, and i am Positively attracted to men in a way i can only describe as 'gay').

it has gotten to a point where i cannot think about, y'know, woman characters from stuff i like that i feel like this is somehow a sign i'm actually a lesbian; i have been dreaming a lot of situations i'm either framed as a lesbian or a straight girl, i have been hyperaware of how cis ppl perceive me (pre-transition, as 'girl') and obsessing over little shit like, if women are looking at me in certain ways when i have to go out (sometimes even 'wishing' it, as if it wanting to 'prove' anything).

i feel...... exhausted, none of these make me feel good, all of this makes me feel distressed. i get dreadful when i take 'lol ur lesbian' results at stupid internet quizzes too. i feel like i cannot talk to anyone about it bc i feel like they're gonna try to feed me either 'internalized lesbophobia' or terf rhetoric, which is smth im v aware of, and part of the reason i've been obsessing over as well.

i had mild doubts about stuff before (like if i was rly a binary trans guy or nb, or if i was bisexual) but none was... like this, y'know.  i was also dumb and read a bbc article about detransitioning ppl which opened with 'studies say most trans ppl dont doubt' etc. featuring two cis lesbians that detransitioned after entering a relationship with one another. i feel rly rly rly dreadful i wish i could go back to feeling like myself (gay and guy) like i did before.

i'm sorry for the longest fucking ask btw, and also, tumblr hadnt let me send the rest for like, Hours, i'm deeply sorry

[Edited for formatting]

I think a lot of this is very normal, especially for transmascs.

We’re constantly fed this idea that we can’t really trust our own perception of reality, that we don’t know ourselves as well as others do, and that the things we believe about ourselves are temporary, silly, and “signs” of some deeper reality that someone else knows for us. It’s only natural that we’d internalize some of those feelings, and struggle to trust even the most irrefutable evidence of our own realities.

If it helps to have some tools in those moments, a couple of reminders:

Cis girls do not typically dread the idea of being girls. They might dread the social repercussions or expectations, they might hate girls who look/act in certain ways, but they do not typically hate that they are girls.

If you are feeling dread over the idea that you might be attracted to women, you probably aren’t! It’s good to work on feeling more at peace with the possibility, because orientation can be very fluid for some folks, and being ready to accept yourself if things change takes a lot of pressure off- but if you don’t want to be with women, you just literally do not have to be with women. For any reason. Even if you are “secretly” attracted to them, if you don’t want to be with them anyway, you simply do not have to be.

Trans people experience doubt. We experience it all the time. We experience it pretty much endlessly! Maybe there are trans folks who never, ever doubt their genders, and I’m very happy for them; but that’s the exception, not the rule, in my experience. This study talks about the steps toward trans self-acceptance, and finds each step is an ongoing process, and often a back-and-forth. It was very comforting for me to recognize the patterns & know I’m not alone.

The focus on AFAB detransitioners is driven by transandrophobia. Because saving the “poor little girls” is a compelling motivator in a misogynistic society. Most detransitioners are actually folks who were AMAB, and found the societal pressure and backlash was too overwhelming, or made things too unsafe, for them to carry on with their transitions. Most detransitioners, period, are people who had to stop because of safety issues, or lack of access to their transition needs.

It’s very normal to go through periods of high doubt, and periods of high self-assuredness. You may just have to ride this out; surround yourself with as much support and love as you can, remind yourself that those fears aren’t really based in reality, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Try to make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You will get through this period of doubt, and come back to finding love and joy in your identity again! It might just take a little time & patience.

(Also no worries over the sending confusion; Tumblr’s a lil broken sometimes, and it’s genuinely not even remotely an issue.)

[ranocchiowo]

if i recall correctly some time ago you were talking about possibly changing your labels but being too close to the ones you're using. which ones were you considering using? (if it wasn't you and i got you mixed up with someone else or if you don't want to answer just tell me about your fave song and why you like it)

mate idek rn lol

for like 2/3 years ive considered myself a lesbian. before that for maybe 2/3 years i thought i was pansexual (youll probably be able to find a bunch of pan stuff on my blog if you go back far enough lol). but i dont know if lesbian fits me anymore, and its difficult to figure this shit out

i had a brief stint maybe last year (?) where i dropped the lesbian label for a bit and just used queer, but i came back to it eventually bc i just couldnt imagine living a life with a man or anything. but now im wondering if that was bc i didnt really realise i was nonbinary? or at least not cis? bc imagining woman-me (bad enough already) being with a man is v uncomfortable, but imagining nonbinary/transmasc (????) -me with a man.... idk anymore. so far all ive figured out is i like women and nonbinary people (regardless of if theyre transfem, transneutral, or transmasc), and im def interested in pursuing an nb4nb relationship. i dont know if i like men, but im trying my best to figure it out lol

however, im having a minor gender crisis trying to figure out the exact label. ik it doesnt matter, but i like labelling these things bc it helps me understand them more, and find similar people like me, yknow? anyway, ive been using agender for a little while and i like it, but im just not sure if thats right bc i get like,,, gender envy for trans guys,, i think???? and i keep seeing t4t transmasc couples and im like... hmmm... i want that... and when i feel like that i dont really like women anymore??? if that makes sense??? but like i do most of the time??

if u put a gun to my head and told me to explain myself id probably say like, im nblw most of the time but when i feel more masculine (bad explanation but oh well) im like transmasc4transmasc,,, ig??? idk friend im a queer mess

but the worst part about this isnt the figuring shit out (even tho thats RLLY FUCKINF DIFFICULT), its letting go of old labels (POTENTIALLY!!!!)

like, i love the lesbian label. its kept me warm for years, like a soft blanket. and i love the term, and i never want to let it go, but i think i might have to if its not feeling as comfortable as it did. im gonna hold on as long as i can tho, bc im gonna miss it, if it leaves. who knows, maybe i'll keep it,,,, man, i explained this all so poorly lmao im sorry

-------

in regards to my favourite song, i dont rlly have one lol, but i do have a song i feel like is me?? like im kinning the song ig??? nsjdnjs

yeah if i was a song id be nothing can be explained by mike wyzgowski bc it has such a weird vibe abt it, like entering another dimension

[morphogenetic]

okay so its been a few days but i keep Thinking About Shit about pride stuff so here we go. im going to politely request that you dont read this unless you can like it/acknowledge that you read it somehow (unless you’re on mobile and this readmore doesnt work in which case: im sorry) and also d/o/nt rb but if you’re some variety of not-straight and/or not-cis replying to this is totally fine 

also this is long as fuck sorry

im in this very weird place where, although i am not in any way cis or het, i don’t feel like i truly belong at pride. like. obviously i’m trans, i’ve been out and living as trans and nonbinary for literally a third of my fuckin life. it matters to me very much that i’m trans, i have to basically come out over and over for the rest of my life because everyone is going to read me as a dude when they meet me for the first time and that is equally as wrong as when everyone was reading me as a girl before t. or if people look at my id and see the ‘f’ even though i can’t even change it to anything else and don’t even want to bc i have no desire whatsoever to tell the fucking government ‘HEY IM NONBINARY’

like being trans and nb is going to affect the rest of my life literally forever. but i’ve been out so long and since i was so relatively young that i just don’t think about it any more. i have absolutely no desire to even be cis, not like i can be bc that would mean i wasn’t nonbinary and the idea of being a binary gender is so fucking weird to me lmao. but it’s like. it’s obviously not a bad thing to be trans and i specifically am very content with it. being nonbinary and knowing that for sure and being super comfortable in that identity is great! but i also don’t feel like i have any reason to celebrate it because i just am. like it’s the same reason i feel very weird about celebrating birthdays and stuff. i mean my birthday isn’t soon in the slightest lmao but like. yeah cool i’m this age now! neat! i’m fine with telling people im this age and i have no negative feelings about being this age! but i just AM that age now why do i need to celebrate being a year older? it’s like that kinda

theres always the issue of the aroace-spec thing too like. yeah boys (and transmasc/masc-or-androgynous-leaning nb people, not girls lol) are attractive sometimes so i am, technically, gay, but my interest in having a relationship is so fucking low. ive had two crushes in my entire goddamn life! in 21 years! and both of those were on friends bc im also super demi! and otherwise the mere idea of a relationship is like. why the fuck would i want that?? why would anyone else even genuinely want that from me, a fucking average-as-hell-looking, balding-at-fucking-21 person who has literally no fucking ability to even function reasonably as a human being?  

like. even putting aside all the fucking issues that i have with actually having and maintaining close relationships - not even in a dating kind of relationship, i mean literally just trusting people in general let alone as friends  - thanks to the shit that three different former friends of mine pulled. even putting that aside i really don’t think i would ever really want a relationship even if i somehow managed to be even a little bit attractive to someone lol. im just too much of an inherent introvert for that. 

and obviously you can be gay/bi/queer/pan/(insert other not-straight romantic/sexuality orientation im sure im forgetting) and not be in a relationship lol. it’s just. there’s so much fucking pressure ESPECIALLY in the mlm communities that i would theoretically be most in-tune with to be extremely sexual. and obviously that’s not inherently a bad thing at all!! it just doesn’t work for me in the slightest because i have basically no drive for that at all and the only time i ever did was when my body was adjusting to being on t initially. now that i’ve been on it for long enough shit has settled back to where it was for most of my life and yep, still basically no interest in that.

and like. im not gonna pretend that i have it the hardest out of literally any lgbtq person. im incredibly white (some ashkenazi sprinkled in there but like. nobody would ever be able to tell that without me saying it since it’s only a fourth and i have no association at all with any religion let alone being jewish) and able-bodied (to the best of my knowledge lmao) and definitely in a rare space of having extremely well-educated liberal parents who, while not being like millionaires or anything, are able to financially support me and didn’t ever reject me. 

and because of all this im like. i dont belong at pride! it’s not for me! yes im trans but any random person is gonna think im a white cishet dude without me correcting them on pronouns. yeah im white but thats the only part of that that’s true but i still shouldn’t be taking up space that i honestly really do not need. i am happy the community exists and i WANT it to continue to exist and i dont think im gonna make any new cishet friends for the rest of my life but i just dont feel like im ever really going to be a true part of it

i really have no idea how to fully put my feelings about this into words. it’s just like. i am not afraid to be who i am but i dont feel proud of it in the way that i’m proud of like. my accomplishments. like when i graduate im gonna be proud of that! but i can’t be proud of who i am as a person in the same way, regardless of what im actually proud of myself for. i’m not proud of being 21 or having brown eyes or having my height. im not upset about them either but they’re just facts to me! in the same way that me being trans is just a fact about me

and pride is just. that. it’s just being proud of and celebrating your own existence. and im happy for people who can feel pride in existing (for all sorts of minority-related things not just lgbtq+ stuff) and i want people to continue to feel that way because when the world tells people they can’t be proud of who they are that’s shitty! but that’s not me and i don’t think it ever will be me. i realized i was aroace and accepted it in the span of a few days. i found out nonbinary people existed and immediately realized ‘oh that’s me’ within a week without feeling any self-hatred over it. realizing that i was mildly gay and not 100% aroace like i thought took me literally hours to realize and then accept. and i dont know how to express this irl without it seeming like i don’t want pride to exist because I VERY MUCH DO. i just. i never had the struggle in accepting those parts of me to the same extent that so many other people do and it feels wrong for me to be in a space for celebrating making it past that internal struggle when i never had it