#lol ANYWAYS so a couple months ago we found out that the broke up and that the bf was going to move out (he texted us) so ya know it's just
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kyunsies · 1 month ago
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story time :)
#mädch rambles#something weird is happening in our apt i think skdfjlsdjf#so there was this couple that lived in the apt above us when we moved in and we thought they were pretty nice#the girl was a bit quiet not as nice as her bf he was really friendly with us but yeah they lived above us and they were honestly quite lou#like their footsteps (we found out it was actually the girl haha) were SO loud and we always knew when they were home#and their bedroom was right above ours and they had an old creaky bedframe so every time they would move my bf and i would but up all night#lol ANYWAYS so a couple months ago we found out that the broke up and that the bf was going to move out (he texted us) so ya know it's just#been the girl up there and we knew she had been living there after he moved out for a couple months but i would say for maybe the past 3#weeks we have not heard her at all and we haven't gone on like any big trips for long periods of time but we think we still see her car out#in the parking lot but it hasnt left the lot and we have been seeing this new blonde girl coming in a few times but we dont know where she#comes or goes from and ALSO there is this new red truck in our lot that has not moved at ALL and my bf works from home and he never sees it#leave so we are skeptical if she moved out but we haven't heard anyone move in or out so im like lowkey kinda concerned ....#and ALSO another random incident just the other day when we came back from eating out like a few days ago the police were near our apt and#we asked if it was for our apt just to make sure and they said no but they didn't know where the 'emergency' was so like IDK things have ju#t been WEIRD LATELY YA KNOW i'm just so tempted to text our landlord :')
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pseudowho · 1 month ago
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so there’s this guy. or there was this guy. i used to have a crush on him for the longest time but i thought my friend liked him and that he liked her so i repressed my feelings which was fine. but he asked me friend out and she turned him down and apparently she’d never liked him and she was really confused because she thought he liked ME. really weird situation but this is a long winded way of saying that a few months later me and the guy got really close and i asked him out. yay!! and then and then we dated for like around 6 months maybe and then we broke up. or more like i broke up with him. i said i’d lost feelings but honestly now tjay i think about it im not sure. did i lose feelings?? i don’t know. it was also getting serious and i think that scared me a little bit. so maybe i didn’t lose feelings i was just scared of commitment? this was all like 3 years ago. i still think about him. i haven’t been in like a serious relationship since. and i’m thinking about him A LOT more lately. some of my friends think i should text him because they think we were great together and i just screwed it up. but i don’t know. i miss him sometimes. i think? i’m never sure how i feel about him except that i think about him. sometimes i’m scared that no one’s ever going to love me as much again. he loved me a lot. i think it used to scare me how much he loved me. sometimes i feel like no one else will ever love me and he was my only chance and i lost it. i feel like no one ever really likes me anyway, like i’m no one’s type. no one would see me and be like omg she’s cute or hot or have a little crush on me or whatever. but at the same time i don’t want to reach out to him just because im insecure and lonely lol. i think that’s unfair to both of us. but also maybe i am insecure and lonely but that doesn’t mean i don’t like him or miss him? i don’t know.
Stop thinking that you're unlikeable, or undesirable, or not anyone's type, for starters. I hands down guarantee that you're wrong, there is a societal hyperfixation currently on 'being attractive' and I am yet to find much of the rhetoric surrounding it to be in any way pertinent to how attraction works in real life.
Listen, I relate very hard to this particular one, because when I was 15/16, I broke up with @mrhaitch because he was so serious and I was afraid of how much he loved me.
I think you were right in listening to yourself; if it felt overwhelming, that's completely valid. A serious relationship can be a heavy weight to carry at any age, and although I don't know how old you are, you sound fairly young, and it might not have been the right time for you then.a
That doesn't mean it's not the right time now. Ultimately if you wanted to give things another shot, if he's single and you think you'd otherwise be on good terms, there's no harm in reaching out. The worst thing he can say is 'no thanks', frankly.
And I also thought I was nobody else's type. Very very sincerely. I still think that way about myself. Other people do not perceive you, as you perceived yourself. I assure you that of the couples I look after, the amount of them who express surprise over even being in a relationship with someone who is into them is high.
I agree that loneliness and "he's the only guy who ever liked me" aren't good reasons alone to pursue him. But if you really liked this guy, and think you still might, then you don't know until you try.
Do not be paralysed by the fear of failure or rejection. You will stagnate. Rejection does not confirm your fear that you are unlovable; if confirms that you haven't found the right one to love, but you won't be left with the lingering 'what if?'
Alright?
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Love, as always,
-- Haitch xxx
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bearbonespdf · 8 months ago
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so i have this, ig now ex, friend who is also my ex boyfriend. right now im kinda coming to terms with the fact that he was? is? abusive. we've known each other for about 4 years now, dated for 2 of those, and broke up about 9 months ago. we've gone through a lot together, including a major traumatic event that involved him being called an abusive boyfriend. this has added to my... hesitance to call him an abuser.
he has hit me a couple times, which we talked through and he didnt do again. however he would bite me pretty often and pretty hard, and wouldnt let go when i asked him too. i used to beg him to stop but he'd (paraphrased) call me dramatic and to get over it. he'd also insult my appearance, personality, and intelligence pretty often. he would yell at me for things i couldnt change (ex: forgetfulness from adhd) and when i tried to explain that he'd tell me i was just making excuses. he would also compare me to our shitty ex friends whenever i did or said smth he didnt like. i had to change the way i spelled the word "ok" (i used to spell it "okay") because he would get mad at me for not being considerate of how he thought "okay" was disingenuous.
but despite all of that, he wasn't horrible to me all the time. we were best friends for a long time. i also contributed to our arguments, and he's said that i traumatized him too. i have friends who tell me that he's definitely abusive and that none if its my fault. i want to believe them but it just kinda feels like wishful thinking? he always told me that i have a tendency to avoid responsibility for my actions, and idk if thats what im doing? i have some other friends who are still cool with him despite knowing all of what i detailed above (and some more lol) and say that they understand why he's upset and why he did what he did. i think the friends who are on his side (which i hate saying, i dont really think its a "sides" situation?) are trying to explain his side of the story and feelings in the matter to the people on my "side".
anyways, this whole post is sparked by the fact that i just found out he blocked me. idk for how long, but i blocked him back. im scared, im stressed, i feel guilty but also kinda glad? i was planning out how to break off our friendship already, but i wanted to end it more amicably. i didnt want to block eachother, i was hoping to stay acquainted at best and maybe leave room for friendship again further down the line. when we both were changed and healed. im writing all this down to avoid a panic attack, but id also appreciate any thoughts and/or opinions anyone has on the matter?
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stumblngrumbl · 1 year ago
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some people say "dirt poor" but i've got a decent pile
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it's not really a compost pile because we put most of our kitchen scraps straight into the chicken coop
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that little thing sticking out in front is where the "compost goes" and despite getting something dumped in there almost every day there's nothing in there it's almost like something eats it
the chicken house (as opposed to more open run that's in front of it here) has straw as bedding; when it gets spoiled it gets tossed out the door (off stage here to the left) and the chickens shred it further,
every once in a while everything gets shocked out of the run - big job that's usually left for when things are more damp so there's not a ton of dust. the run usually gets scooped by shovel and tossed into the tractor bucket; the combination of wood chips and chicken manure is potent and with a bit of moisture it turns into pretty good gardening soil in a scant few months.
a couple weeks ago i found some squash grown last year that had been stashed in the garage... some of it was badly decomposed but some looked perfect lol
anyways i broke it up and buried it in the compost/dirt pile; as you can see some of the seeds are going nuts
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they'll get watered and left alone by humans though i can't guarantee that the chickens won't scratch them up. it's likely too late to grow squash but if we have a lame (warm) fall they may have a chance and then we'll see how they hybridized, hopefully if they grow they'll be edible
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aamethyst000 · 2 months ago
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feeling so blue right now, i feel kind of stupid about it lmao - july 2,24 - 7:12pm
Dude, my 3DS fricken broke a couple of days ago and ive been sad about it ever since lmao i was almost done with my master quest on OoT!! how abosultely frusturatingg is THAT?! i was at the last temple, getting to the very last sage before finding out who sheik's other identity is. i didnt even get to start over on majoras mask or kirby. Now im on the look out for a new DS, whether it be a 2DS or a 3DS again i'll decide that when i know i have enough money for it. which will take a long while because i still dont have a goddamn job EVEN THOUGH ive applied to 3!!!! other jobs this year but absolutley no one has answered me. i fucking hate it when they just ghost me like that. i'd rather have them telll me striaght up that im not "fit" for the position i apllied for, or simply just not hired. that's all i want! not this no answer IS an answer bullshit. anyway, hired or not, im still going to be without a handheld concol for a good couple of months. maybe. it depends. i Just started decorating my 3ds with pretty stickers :( i literally wanted to go cry about it, only to be slapped with reality, about how old my 3ds is, that just made me mad lmao because my older brother's dsi is lasting LONGER and it is F I V E years OLDER than my 3ds!!! like, fuck off xD oh well, nothing i can do about it now, considering i dont even have enough money for just the repairs alone. so, im just going to buy a new ds instead. i know that is not any cheaper, but i'm impatient and i really want to finish my file on the master quest!! dammit!!
9;25pm - i just found out i cant play any gamecube games on my laptop :( the emulator is slow and laggy which kind of sucks but i am able to play them on my phone! ive finished twilight princess three times now and im on my way to finish wind waker now, which is taking a bit but only because this is my firdt time finishing on my own with out my older brother lol its okie, im an adult (with a short temper but thats besides the point) i can do this just by looking up the quest part on either youtube or wikihow, ive done it for the heart collections on twilight. i can do it for the wind waker playthrough. which i have about 3 times so far. and i think i am doing pretty well! for my first play through by myself. i can see why i had little to no interest in it when my family actually owned the game. i only remember my older brother playing WW, the others played mario sunshine or smash bros (both are the best btw). so, i dont blame younger me for not having too much interest.
july 5,24 1:11am - SSOOOOOOO UUUUHHHHHH.......shit just got a bit chaotic today! we just found out that my brothers school isnt going to continue high school classes. so they will have to go sign up for another school, IN ANOTHER TOWN BY THE WAY. my mother and i have been mulling it over almost all day today, she says that she doesnt want my younger brother to be staying with any of our family members and i agree with her. lemme explain, one aunty of mine tends to be agressive, some times downright abusive, another aunty, emotions fly like a humming bird who drank nothing but espresso, on of my cousin has a child of her own to look after, same with my cousins sister and she has two kids, all of which my brother does not know very well and will be shy like me and not talk for a long while. make him feel like being comfortable but shy and quiet about it is bad. anyway, my mother is very iffy about sending him into town for his last year of school and i get it. the last time she did that with my older brother and shit hit the roof with him. he moved in with one of our aunty's place, stayed for a few months before finally moving out because said aunty was trying to take advantage of my brother temporarily looking after our spoilt ass nephew who looked and treated his cousins as literal maids. not only that, she tried to start a fight with him and our cousin fucking did nothing but make it worse. so yeah, i get why my mother doesn't want to send my little brother into town. why is my little brother's high school life so chaotic and none of it is even HIS fault?? like DAMN universe!! fucking take a goddamn chill pill when handling my litlle brother THANK YOU!! and for my older brother, FUCKING LEAVE HIM ALONE HE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY OR I IWLL THROW HANDS
anyway, this year has been one fckn crazy year for us, thats for goddamn sure.
july 8,24 6:35pm - i keep trying to play on the family dsi, i cant seem to stay on it long like i did with my 3ds. and i really miss my 3ds, i cant believe i have to buy another one and fucking save up for that. im planning on getting a screen protector, case and a little game case for the handheld consol. be more prepared this time and all. im just so mad the dsi is lasting longer than my fckn 3ds!! lmao just fckn RUDE! anyway, what i have in my little cart on ali express says it costs up to 205 for those things all together, i was going to look on amazon but i have doubt with their electronics and such, and it is more expensive as hell. so no thanks. i think i can wait until i have enough to buy those things for my new 3ds. i just keep onn looking at my old 3ds all sad that i cant play on it for all hours of my day. oh well, i can save up money for myself, so i can save up to get a replacement and possibly other accescories for my new ds kekekeke
i forgot to mention that i went to go hang out with my friends the other day, we had shrooms and edibles for the night, it was fckn fun and kind of upsetting lmao there were certain situations where i was questioning a lot, and other situation i just straight up did not like. other than that it was quite fun tripping pretty hard like that, however sleeping was freaking difficult lmao i was literally arguing with myself in my own head about getting to bed and sleep, i just flopped around and fucking giggled at myselef like, what the hell lmao
11:23pm - good this i double checked the 3ds for anything else that i am missing and now that ive done that, it wont turn on at all, itll just lightly beep at me almost like a whisper and then itll just shut off without the screen turning on. im even more sad lmao i cant wait till i have enough for the 3ds and the cases, i really want to finish my master quest on ocorina of time. this itch wont go away until i do. i should clean my room and start on the towels soon. the house is starting to look like a tornado went into our house and i so can tell that none of us are liking it so i am hoping that one or all of us finall gather our energy to clean up the house again. we need it and the pets really need it too. i know that the messyness is affecting us all to the point we \re getting cranky. so, yeah, we need to clean up. this will help my brain get over the guiltiness of buying myself this new handheld consol and the fact that i am using a little bit of my savings. i already have cashed out a couple moolas from the band office but no more than that. i still do not trust my little brother around my savings still. so ill be keeping some in my bank while slowly cashing them out when he doesnt know that i am going there or why. to which i only go to the band office during school days. speaking of, i still dont think that he wont be able to go and graduate on time unless i move to rupert. and if i do that, that may mean that ill have to talk to my alchoholic "dad" about helping me move to an apartment and then sign my little brother up to the highschool but the thing is, the school education there is way different than the one he is used to and grew up in. which sucks cause i was excited for him to gradutate. he only has one more year to go too! it sucks so much i wish the school is starting to get their shit together during this summer cause MY GOD!! this is ridiculous. almost no teachers in highschool? i stilll cant get over that!!! any way this will be the last journal entry for a bit, good night/day readers!
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vivianbernadetteaurora · 2 months ago
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 PCOS and it’s how it affects you
So it took me a lot of bravery just to, post about this disorder/condition.
 PCOS isn’t looked at as a very serious condition, I get it because there are so many conditions and labels nowadays and it’s, I find it quite annoying too.but sometimes it’s useful. it depends on the individual.
It took me a lot of bravery like I said so here’s the post these pictures of me., to show it to help other people who suffer with this condition to show them that they’re not alone.
The horrific thing about  PCOS, I can always tell when somebody has it by the shape of us, , we tend to carry weight on our belly, and it makes us look pregnant. I’ve been asked many times am I pregnant?, And it’s really embarrassing sometimes I feel more embarrassed for the other person .
because of where I hold my weight it’s really high up and it’s like straight on. I’m not that wide., other people tend to carry all over their body. I wish I had a bum and put it that way.
And the world to has never catered to apple shaped bodies, it’s all about being pear-shaped and being slim in the right, or being slim thick, half of the symptoms I didn’t even know from cause ,I thought they were from my autism. This is why it’s so hard because all these things get mixed up together and you end up in a bit of a world.. wind of symptoms and illnesses .this is me sharing my story and I feel safe on Tumblr. Thank you to my followers.
So I can’t actually remember when it was, years ago this girl who cheated on me with my boyfriend if that makes sense LOL .
she definitely had it and she had like a beard and moustache really tiny legs and a massive upper half. I wasn’t very keen on her because she was very masculine as well and I didn’t she was another Sagittarius who ruined my life, he cheated with her broke my heart.
She had all the symptoms of it and I think it was my first time hearing about it and the fact that she was infertile anyway she ended up having a baby.
over the years I found out when I lost my virginity I got herpes, then years later I find out I have HPV, virus that you seem to be more of a carrier with, which doesn’t help with fertility it makes it more, unlikely to have a baby, then you have real cravings for sugar like you get hungry all of a sudden and you need something sweet straight, because it’s very similar (I’m finding out years later )to diabetes. It’s insulin resistance and then you get really angry because celebrities., access to the drugs that could help me, and others so many others can’t afford these people who aren’t even overweight at all get these shots and look amazing, which is making it a low stock of the drug which, it’s diabetes. It’s not for people with eating disorders not to shame people eating disorders but it seems very selfish.
, when I was with that first boyfriend who cheated on me .
also I was told I looked like a man!!!!!!!
a lot of the time people would shout stuff at me and a girl  said that I look like a man out of a window it was really, teenage girls would always laugh at me and I never knew why I don’t know if it was because of my PCOS or not or just the way, because I am unusual looking and now I have shared these close-up pictures which is hard for me but if it can help someone feel a bit better, this is about a couple of months ago and you can see my 5 o’clock shadow and my moustache.
It’s really horrible because I’ve had a comments about that as well, and I’ve had comments of stupid men who’ve gone why haven’t you got children yet?,
Maybe I can’t have them !
all the people who are with children., please don’t ever say to someone with PCOS it will happen when you least, because it fucking won’t. how is the trauma?
And that’s what I meant with the trauma with it it makes you look pregnant while not , you have a regular period or no periods at , because I haven’t had a period now for free , my sex drive is disappeared completely. I’m
only 34 and it’s quite scary to be honest. Like I said to my partner the other day I said the bit between my legs of caused me trouble. My whole life got me into trouble and it makes me really sad . I 😢 it really feels like I’m constantly tested of how much I can fucking take , I can’t have kids I can’t have a family .
I’m a drug addict so whenever I go to service that’s the only thing they care about they think everything drugs is about , but not all of it , before I took drugs, I always really unbeknownst to heroin.
I was really fucked up , I suffered with insomnia since I was 12 and I was , I was the type of girl is a teenager who never smoked and then I met this man and went into 180 , he showed me what life could be and when people tell me that he was bad for me it fucking hurts because I said to my mother the other day there’s not one person in the world, that I feel that complete connection and safety with , more because I get told that wasn’t good for you and part of me wants to torture this man in a room for giving it to me for the first time Amy Winehouse and Blake , so that film was hard for me to watch because I could relate to it so much apart from fame .
This is women’s Road to addiction , where the PCOS I feel like it can only be managed when you’re a healthy , I’ve told them I don’t have any eating disorder. I don’t have an issue , it’s literally in the medication I’m on.
I’ve tried to tell them can I go on a different medication and I don’t listen to , I had a doctor the other day who just spoke a whole load of nothing telling me , know about an appointment I’d already had , and then I said to “this drug has made me put on so much weight” and , and her answer was “oh yeah sometimes does that “, I was like great so there’s my self-esteem confidence in a sentence .
Never coming back I’m never gonna be slim again that’s how it felt . Because I used other people because I was attractive and I wanna show you a picture of when I was slimmer to show you that ,  mainly with how different I looked and how it is much more maintainable , I used to walk all the time I didn’t have agoraphobia. I didn’t have all these health problems either along with PCOS and I , and people say don’t live in the past but I was so happy and when you were a confident person and you’re confident goes, it’s really hard to deal with that hand .
pictures here’s my bloated belly. Here’s my close-up face and I will add a picture of what I used to look like today is good for awareness that we don’t have the same type . And that’s okay as long as we try and do something to sort. I’ve tried to get the injection shop , I guess I’m gonna have to get it on the black market .
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bisluthq · 4 months ago
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from the corner of fans I know off, no one was/is really bothered about Delaney. Specially given that the other options are women way younger than him and that seemed worse. There's also other corner that is a bit obsessed with shipping him with whatever, it's like they really want him to show up with someone.
Overall from what I have seen, they just want him to find someone nice, more similar to him or well suited and that makes him happy. So unless Delaney is really problematic I don't think people are going to have a problem. She doesn't even seem to use her socials beyond making her parodies (those are funny and Joe seemingly finds it too, since he has liked some), she's not really an influencer in a true sense.
Other than that, I actually think she keeps her life pretty private. I tried to find info about her parents and her relationships and came out empty handed. I have seen her mention like an ex boyfriend without names as in oh yk my ex introduced your podcast to me, but I haven't seen any names associated with her. She seemingly broke up with someone last year, but no clue who.
And I think unless she broke up with someone else during the last 6 months and got with Joe after, I don't think they are together. You see I tried to find something as recent as this year and I found this article where it seemed like she was doing a bit of diary for a magazine for 3-4 days. As in like what she does in a day (spoiler alert: indeed didn't seem a very busy life). This was in January and there's a day where she mentions her boyfriend waking up earlier than her. And then hanging out at his house the next. Again she mentions names of friends, names of the LA places she went to but the boyfriend is always referred to as the Boy.
Anyway, what does this have to do with Joe you ask. Well, because according to one day she wrote for she was with the Boy and then she hung out in some LA places. But on the same day, we actually know Joe was in Paris for Loewe. So it doesn't fit. Specially because she mentions staying at his place and I also don't think Joe owns a place in LA either way. We do know he was in LA three times at least this year and that's why people started believing the Delaney thing, cause she lives there.
So, I don't think this article was like a parody and if that wasn't the case couldn't be Joe. Ofc it's possible that since then they broke up and Joe entered the picture. I legit couldn't find more recent info tbh
This is the article in question. I know nothing about Delaney and yes her life seems somewhat unproductive but ngl this made me like her. She seems like a fun person. The boyfriend here sounds relatively serious - they spend all four nights together just alternating places - and like it can’t be Joe tbh because it’s def not parody (this is for sure her life) and the boyfriend very much sounds LA based. She says like a few weekends ago she got him bagels and then she sleeps at his “house”, which is a weird way to phrase it if it’s his hotel or ABB even if she fudged the dates and I SERIOUSLY doubt Joe has a permanent place in LA because yes he’s been three times this year but that doesn’t justify an LA lease when Air exists and also the description of the guy doesn’t really match how I’d imagine Joe tbh like she states that he eats a fuckton because he gyms a fuckton and we know Joe doesn’t gym a fuckton tbh because he says that a lot like I know from what he looks like that he doesn’t not gym at all but it’s certainly not something that defines him or that he especially enjoys. But yea I mean if she’d said “place” I could’ve maybe thought it’s Joe’s ABB but as is nah lol. And again this sounds pretty serious and Joe is not in LA enough for it to be this serious between him and an LA based girl.
This was in Jan so theoretically by July she could’ve broken up with The Boy and started seeing Joe, as you say, but I don’t think with anything other than a couple Insta likes we have any reason at all to suspect that.
The Deux spotting of him and gf was in NYC and while it’s technically possible for Delaney to go to NYC it’s likelier (to me) that she’s London based and went with him or (if the two people I know off anon heard wrong or the sitch changed since this was a fairly long while ago) NYC based even and he was seeing her while he was there.
I do think Delaney x Joe would be funny af tho. Her relationship here sounds cute but for the comedy I do hope she’s now with Joe lol and people figured that out based on Insta likes.
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andi-kook · 6 months ago
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Omg I was in a kind of situationship too 😭 it was around a year ago. Him and I were friends from fifth grade, and he was one of my first male friends. I had a crush on him back then but I never told him that. and he had surprisingly confessed that he too had a crush on me. But I still didn't tell him cuz I was too afraid and we were just too young for this shit lol.
However the next year I broke things off with my friend group and since he was also good friends with them, I thought he probably wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. So I decided to stay away from him from then onwards. And then covid happened too, which made it impossible to have any communication in person.
Fast forward to a few years later, he reached out to me on Instagram and we started chatting day and night about so many things. We cleared up misunderstandings like I thought he didn't want to do anything with me anymore and he thought my mom (a teacher in our school lol) forbade me from talking to him. He also started low-key flirting with me, complimenting here and there and saying corny shit 😂. However, a few months later his responses started getting dry and would keep me on sent for a long time. I didn't realize I was literally embarrassing myself by texting even after he once kept me unseen for days. He gradually ghosted me like that and a couple of months later unfollowed me.
Now he claims in front of his friend (that friend is my friend too) that he was just playing around and thought I got the hint. When he "realized I was quite serious about whatever was going on" he decided it was best to just ghost me. It's just funny now how he completely claims he never liked me when the things he'd say to me were so contradictory. It's been like a year now, I don't like him anymore but still feel hurt whenever I remember things.
Anyways sorry did I bore you with all this? Lol I didn't realize how much I wrote, got carried away 😭 sorry skip this if you want lol 😭😭
-💗
nooo you didn’t bore me!! i’m grateful you sent this in, lovely 💗!!!
ghosting someone is such a coward move for me. if you don’t think you’re going to work out, just say so. you owe that person that much especially if you’ve spend a significant amount of time with them that disappearing from their life, without any explanation as to why, will really affect them in a way that is indescribable. people who ghosts instead of just being honest are cowards!!!!
i’m sorry you had to go through that :( he sounds like an asshole my god and it’s worst because you considered him a friend before anything else. i definitely could relate to the whole instagram thing – that’s where my situationship started too – and going from talking to each day in and day out to just .... nothing. in hindsight, that really should have been our sign but alas, love is blind.
and fuck, him changing narratives to your friend????? SAME. he also claimed that i was the only one who liked him when he was the one who pursued me. that really broke my heart and the cherry on top was that i found that out through this other girl he was talking to while he was gradually ghosted me. that really gave me extreme anxiety on top of my already existing one and i always dreaded going to our campus and coming across them – even on social media which i don’t use anymore besides tumblr.
i’m proud of you for saying you don’t like him anymore. i wish i can say the same thing. the pain from a situationship is really greater than most because we don’t get any explanation why it ended. it just did. and when you do get an explanation, you’re fucking gaslighted beyond belief hahaha. it’s insane how a person can do that to another human being.
i really hope we heal from this unnecessary character development, 💗. i hope we never experience this again. we really don’t deserve it and i hope we realize that again and again until it’s etched in our brains.
may they never know peace every time we appear in their life whether through a dream, a song, a scent, a place, or when they simply go about their day.
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httpdabi · 4 years ago
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Jealousy
Word count: 6,5k
Genre: Smut, romance, no quirk lol
Warnings: 18+, a little bit of choking, a little bit of daddy kink, rough sex, dom!dabi , jealousy kinda, unprotected sex, alcohol
Credit to the owner of the pic!!
✨Friends to lovers fic✨
Throwing your phone across the room, deep breath coming out of your mouth. The fact that he was coming back today made the time pass so slow it was painful. You were glancing at your phone every now and then checking what time it is, knowing he should arrive around 17PM. Rolling down on your old bed, you took a good look of your room.
Pastel pink walls, white bed, small working table in the left corner of the room. Beside your bed were photos taped on the wall. All those photos woke a memory in you. Some of the photos were of you and your friends, but most of them were of you and Dabi.
Dabi.
Your childhood best friend. You will never forget the day you first met him. Shy little Touya not wanting to play with your dolls. I’M A MAN. He screamed back then, throwing the doll away, making you cry loudly. You will never forget how scared he got in the moment you started screaming around, trying to hush you down somehow. He did everything he could hoping his parents won’t hear.
Yours and Touya’s parents were literally best friends, visiting each other almost every day. Having to face him so often, you two almost had no choice then to become friends. At the beginning none of you were impressed by each others company. But how both of you grew up, you were becoming closer and closer. At some point, you two became inseparable.
When Touya started getting piercings, you were so jealous. You wanted to get that Certilage piercing just like him, but your parents were so strict even the thought of it made their hair get up. Of course Touya being Touya, he didn’t give a two shits about their decision. Picking you up one day after school and brining you to his friend that did his piercings too. That night both families were fighting. His parents lecturing him how he is such a bad influence to you, and your parents screaming on you how you’ll never get married with piercing like that. Saying it’s not ladylike.
,, If no one marries her, I will’’ Touya said, making your heart flutter, and everyone else in the room laughed loudly, finding it cute how he was protecting you.
Of course, growing up both of you went different directions in your life. Moving out of your parents place was best thing that happened to you. Having that freedom you never had before, you were appreciating even little things.
Dabi moved out in another city, saying he never wanted to live in his hometown anyway. Of course, there wasn’t a day that he didn’t contact you. But having him so far away made things much harder for you. The only positive thing about him moving to another city was the fact that your huge crush on him would melt down, at least you hoped so.
You were so in love with him. How could you not be ? Having him around so much, such a handsome and good guy, you simply had to develop feelings toward him.
Walking downstairs, you heard Enji laughing loudly at something your father said. You visiting your parents home again, while Todoroki’s were also there, all of you waiting for Dabi to return. It made your heart warm up again, missing moments when all of you were spending time together so often.
Making your way toward kitchen, you opened the fridge looking for something to eat. Not that you were hungry, you were simply bored and something had to kill that boredom.
Taking the milk pudding, you opened it and took one spoon. You tried to multitask somehow, with one hand you were eating the pudding, while with other hand just scrolling your instagram feed.
Suddenly, a head placed on your shoulder, trying to see what you were looking at. Your parents always did that. They had to know why you were always holding that damn phone in your hands.
,, Dad, this is private, I’m not a child anymore’’ you whined, pushing your fathers head away. You hated when he does that, privacy is privacy and it has to be respected.
,, I didn’t know you were into daddy kink’’ a familiar voice whispered, making you flinch in surprise. Turning around you immediately jumped on the person standing behind you. Dabi laughed, placing his hand around your waist hugging you strongly, before he pulled you up in the air.
,, You little piece of shit, I missed you so much’’ you said hugging him back, not paying any attention to your parents in the background.
The rest of the day was all about Touya. How he was, what did he do, does he have a girlfriend and so on. Of course he liked to be the center of the attention, talking about everything. Not that you were complaining, you were sinking in every word that came out of his mouth, admiring him as always.
At the end of the day, your parents made plans that this week all of you should meet and have a super cool bbq like in the old times. Which meant one big ass sleep over, with Todoroki’s. Those nights were always amazing, so much food, so much sweets and of course so much alcohol for grown ups. That was the reason why Rei and Enji slept over after all. All of them would simply get wasted.
Dabi decided he will sleep at your place, since he never saw your new apartment, all of them agreeing, knowing that there’s a lot he probably wanted to tell you.
First both of you went to his old home, placing his suitcase and taking just few stuff to bring over. He didn’t want to waste any time, since his parents were still at your place, and he really wanted to finally see your new apartment.
Placing his bag in his hallway, he immediately went inside your living room, looking around, commenting what doesn’t look good and how he would decorate it much better. He opened the fridge, feeling like home and took one ice cream out of the freezer. Making his way toward your couch.
,, So, where’s that piece of shit called Kai’’ he asked, biting the chocolate on the ice cream. You were confused a bit, since you broke up with Kai long time ago.
,, Didn’t I already tell you? It’s been six months since we broke up’’ you laughed out. How can it be possible that you left your dear Touya uninformed about your love life.
,, Oh, that breaks my heart.’’ He said sarcastically. ,, What happened?’’ he added licking the ice cream.
,, Well, he cheated on me’’ you lied, sitting down beside him. Well, technically he did cheat on you, but the reason behind it was because he found out about your feelings about Dabi. He found out that he was only being used to forget your one sided love. Not that you didn’t like Kai, you did find him attractive, but you couldn’t force yourself to do with him stuff every couple did. Which made him cheat on you, hoping he will make you step further. But at his surprise you did something every normal person would do, broke up with him.
You did feel disappointed that you two had to part your ways like that, but you also understood him and with that you couldn’t force yourself to hate him or be that much hurt.
,, He didn’t deserve you anyway. I have no idea what did you see in him. Dude looks like he fed a whole Village in Africa, no offense ‘’ he said, making you laugh.
,, Anyway, we are invited to Mina’s birthday this Saturday’’ you said placing both of your legs on the table.
,, Aren’t we having a bbq that day?’’ Dabi asked as he placed the stick of his ice cream on the table.
,, Yeah, but we can still go tho. They’ll be really happy to see you again, I told everyone that you are back’’ you said, as he placed his head on your lap. You smiled, knowing how much he loves when you play with his hair.
,, Sure, we can do both. I am glad I’ll see them all again’’ he said making your stomach twist out of jealousy. You knew how much Yua and Akari liked Dabi. Of course you were friends, but the fact that all these two had their eyes on him made your blood boil. Even Mina was into him, until she found a boyfriend recently. They didn’t know that you liked him, but you knew very well that they weren’t happy that you had him by your side all the time.
After telling you about the city and all his experience, you two decided to go to sleep since it was already 2AM. You went to the bathroom to change into your silk pajama, coming back only to find Dabi in your bed wearing only shorts.
,, I really wanna get some tattoos too’’ you said looking the tattoos over his chest and arms, wanting to touch every single one of them.
,, Do it’’ he simply said, placing his arms under his head. You just rolled your eyes on him, he knew very well that you weren’t that brave.
,,You can sleep here, I’ll crash on the couch’’ you said ready to stand up. He was a guest after all, and for him you would sleep on the floor if he asked you to.
,, Of course you’re not’’ he said grabbing your arm and pulling you in the bed beside him. Wrapping his one arm around you.
,, Don’t get all cold with me suddenly’’ he laughed while covering both of you with your covers. Of course, you two slept together in one bed before, it wasn’t something unusual. But knowing how you feel about him, you knew that with every move like this, your feelings will grow back even stronger then they were before.
,, Touya, we aren’t children anymore’’ you said, trying to wiggle out of his grip.
,, That’s exactly what I was thinking about. Might as well do stuff adults do’’ he said jokingly, making you push him even harder. Making sure you are smiling he just held you stronger repeating that he was joking.
Once you realized that he won’t really give up, you just gave in, preparing yourself for one sleepless night with him.
Dabi placed your leg over him, slowly caressing your tight while telling you about some nonsense like he did before until you would fall asleep. Once he thought that you fall asleep, you felt his long arms around you and his lips on your head.
Having him so close to you, he didn’t know what effect he had on you. For him it was just one normal night, while for you it was something you won’t be able to keep out of your mind next upcoming weeks.
The next days it was like before. Dabi was spending more time at your place as he did home. You two would spend time together, playing games, going grocery shopping together, visiting cafes and so on. You even saw Akari in one café, and of course she was all over Dabi. You couldn’t watch it, she was touching his arm so recklessly, and the fact that he wasn’t doing anything about it didn’t’ help either.
Excusing yourself, you said that you felt sick. Dabi wanted to follow you home, but Akari was insisting how he should stay, since they didn’t see each other for such a long time. Not wanting to make any scene, you just told him to stay, not to worry and left them.
On your way home, you felt terrible. It wasn’t anything big, but yet you overacted there and had to leave. But you simply couldn’t watch or hear anything more. You were the one that was supposed to touch him like that. You wanted to touch all those tattoos, and even tho you were his best friend you couldn’t find the courage to do it. Yet, stupid Akari did it without a problem.
Knowing that Dabi will probably just come back to your place, you made your way toward your parents house, not ready to face him somehow. In that moment you wished you didn’t gave him your spare keys. You didn’t want to wait for him and think about what they were doing.
Of course your parents were more then happy to welcome you home. Since you moved out you didn’t sleep at their place that often. But they knew something was wrong, not wanting to bother you, they just let you be.
Once again the night was sleepless for you. Dabi did contact you, asking if you are ok and if he should bring something to you, but once you saw that Akari posted him on her Instagram story, you couldn’t even force yourself to text him back.
You knew that It was so childish of you, he didn’t even know how you feel about him, yet that something small would upset you so much. But your feelings were getting better of you. The whole night you were rolling around in your bed, thinking if he’s home yet, if they are fucking somewhere. You were thinking what would have happened if you just stayed. If you did, he would probably just leave home with you.
Waking up next morning, you wanted to kill yourself. The soreness in your eyes didn’t help either. You saw few messages from Dabi, asking where you are, yada yada. Seeing that it was sent around 4am, you tossed your phone across the bed. Did he stay that long with her ?
You slowly stood up and made your way toward the bathroom, brushing your teeth before leaving home. Your parents were insisting that you should stay, and spend the rest of the day with them. It was Saturday anyway, so you’ll be here later anyway.
But you didn’t want, you had to clean your apartment a bit together with your thoughts. Also it was Minas birthday today, so you had to get ready before you leave for the bbq and her birthday.
Opening the door of your apartment, you saw Dabi’s shoes placed beside yours. Slowly tip toeing, you found him in your bedroom asleep. You slowly closed the door, and started cleaning quietly, making sure not to wake him up.
You wanted to lay down beside him, and simply cuddle yourself close to his body, but because of the thought of the last night, you also wanted to grab his hair and force him out of your apartment.
Of course, once he woke up, you couldn’t be mad at him anymore. You had to act it up, and just ignore what happened, after all how could you explain to him why were you even mad ? Dabi left your place around 16PM, leaving you all alone with your thoughts once again. You whished you could tell him how you felt, you wished he would understand.
When the time came, you wore your light purple spaghetti strap dress. Since the evenings were still kidna cold, you decided to wear your oversized black cardigan that was the same length as your dress. Covering just enough.
After doing your make up and straightening your hair, you placed your small bag over your shoulder and wore your overknee lace up boots before you left. The cardigan was bothering you a bit, since you knew how hot it usually gets when you’re in club, but once the wind brushed your naked tight, you didn’t mind it anymore.
Once you got at your parents place, you helped them with all the preparing. Your mom didn’t let you prepare the food, being scared you’ll ruin your dress. But you still helped with plates and all the alcohol. Placing everything on the table outside.
When they arrived Enji and your dad immediately started with the bbq. Rei and your mom were simply enjoying the evening and sipping on their wine, waiting for their food. While both of you and Dabi were simply on your phones. Once again you were upset, all of them complimented your looks, everyone but him. Piece of shit like he looked any better, whit his simple white shirt and jeans.
Lies.
He looked so beautiful without any effort, the tattoos on his arm totally visible.
You took the wine from the table filling your glass, drinking it fast down. Just the thought of Akari and other girls being all over him was driving you crazy. You had to prepare yourself.
,, Slow down doll, I don’t want to spend the rest of my night holding your hair in the toilet’’ Dabi said taking the now empty glass away from you and laughing a bit.
,,Don’t worry about me, I’m capable of taking care of myself on my own’’ you said taking the glass back and filling it with wine again. Who does he think he is ?
When the meat was done, both of you ate and drank a bit before leaving. Dabi didn’t want to drive since he also had plans to drink. Enji was insisting on giving you a ride, but you two didn’t want to break his fun, after all the club wasn’t that far away.
,,So, who will be there tonight?’’ Dabi asked you, taking the box of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one cigarette.
,, Mina of course, Yua, Himari, Ryohei, Hiro, Akari and Kai’’ you said, placing your hands in the pockets of your cardigan.
,, We should make your little Kai jealous, what do you think?’’ He said, placing his arm around your shoulders.
,, Nah, no need’’ you said looking down on the floor.
When you arrived the club was already full of people. Thankfully Mina waited for you two in front of the club, not wanting for you two to waste your time looking for them. You gave her the present that you and Dabi bought few days ago and graduated her. Knowing that Mina is in relationship with Hiro, so the hug she gave Dabi didn’t bother you so much.
Once you got inside, you greeted everyone and ordered your drinks. Of course Akari was giving all of her attention to Dabi, trying to get as close as possible to him.
None of you wanted to wait, so all of you ordered your drinks. You ordered Malibu with cherry juice, you were up for something sweet. Since the sweet drinks kick in much faster and that’s exactly what you needed. Dabi ordered whisky, while Kai, Hiro and Ryohei ordered pure Vodka. Rest of the girls ordered Wine.
,, Hey’’ you heard very familiar voice close to your ear. You turned around sipping on your drink, welcoming Kai with a small smile and nodding your head.
,, How are youu?’’ he asked loud enough for you to hear. Body too close to your own in your opinion.
,, I am good and you?’’ you simply answered finishing your drink, asking yourself why is he starting this random boring chat. Realizing that your friends were eyeing you and your ex down, you smirked to yourself. If they only knew, how little shit you gave about him.
,, Let’s go get another round of drinks’’ you said, and made your way toward the bar, while Kai was following every step you made.
,, You look beautiful tonight’’ Kai pointed after you ordered what everyone was drinking. Well, at least someone appreciates your effort tonight, you thought to yourself.
,, Thank you, you look cool yourself’’ you said already trying your drink, while giving the money with your right hand to the bartender. He didn’t look bad at all, wearing black button up shirt, one part of it tucked in his jeans. His typical black convers shoes. He looked good.
Once you two got back, placing all the drinks on the table, you could feel Dabi’s eyes on you. You weren’t sure if he wanted to tell you something, so you took his Whisky and went to him.
,, What is it ?’’ you asked giving him his drink.
,, Nothing at all’’ he replied eying you down. He was about to say something more, but Akari interrupted him, saying some nonsense. Not wanting to watch them together, you just left them, making your way toward Ryohei, Himari and Kai on the dancefloor.
All of you were dancing. Jumping around and waving your body to the sound of the music. You realized that Kai was trying real hard to get you to himself, but sadly your drinks didn’t hit you that much yet. Still the only person that was on your mind was Dabi. You wanted to look at him, and see what’s he doing, but you were afraid once you turn around you’ll find Akari all over him again, or even worse making out with him. It would definitely ruin your night.
After few more drinks, you finally started getting tipsy. While Mother Mother was playing, you and Himari were jumping around, making your way back toward the table to get your other drink that was already there, you two were screaming at each other ,, My daddy’s got a gun, My daddy’s got a gun, My daddy’s got a gun, you better run’’ moving your body crazily just as the music was.
,, Cheers’’ Himari screamed, once both of you placed a bit salt on your hand. Licking the salt of your hand, both of you drank the tequila fast before sucking the lemon. Making the weird face, both of you laughed preparing another shot.
Making your way back to the others, both of you were going crazy to the beat of the song you loved. With a new drink in your hand, you didn’t think about the consequences. After all the music was just so good, you simply had to drink.
Dancing around, you felt a body pressed against your. Tilting your head to the side, you realized it’s Kai standing behind you, trying to get as much of you as he could. At that moment you didn’t give a fuck anymore, just giving in and dancing with him. You saw Himari and Mina laughing at you, thinking you two will get together.
,, I’ll go smoke one fast, wanna come?’’ Kai asked. You simply shook your head giving him a sign that you'll simply wait and found yourself once again dancing with Himari. You were glad Himari was there, since without her you wouldn’t have much fun as you had now.
,, You are fast’’ you said, feeling Kai’s body behind you again. Slow down by Chase Atlantic started playing, no better song for grinding your body against someone else. Moving your body slowly, you felt his hands holding your hips firmly.
,, Are you sure you aren‘t into daddy kink doll?“raspy and deep voice made you twitch in shock. ,, What’s wrong? Didn’t expect me ?’’ he added, holding your hips stronger, not giving you any chance to move away from him.
You felt like there was no need to answer him, since Mina bought you another drink you were already busy sipping on your drink . After all, all you wanted to do was drink and get wasted in that moment anyway. So you moved your body from the side to the side, enjoying how close his body was to yours.
Realizing that you drank your drink, Dabi took it form your hand and gave it to the bartender that was passing by anyway. Turning you around to face him, he took your arms and placed them around his neck, while his own arms found their way to your waist.
,, Wasn’t the plan to make Kai jealous?’’ he asked. You could feel his hot breath on your ear. Tilting your head a bit to the left, you closed your eyes and gave him a small nod with the biggest grin ever.
The grin was long gone once you felt his hands over your ass, squeezing it tightly. ,, Then why am I at the end the jealous one ?’’ He asked giving you one more squeeze. Drunk like that you forgot about your friends and what might they think.
,, Is this how you treat your daddy?’’ he added, not giving you a chance to even progress the last question he gave you. You were never into daddy kink, but coming from his lips, you were ready to call him daddy as much as he wanted.
,, I want.. drink.. haha’’ you said laughing, hoping he will get you another one, since you weren’t capable to do it on your own anymore.
,, We are going home’’ he said. He was already tipsy on his own, but nowhere drunk as you were. He told everyone that you two are leaving, not giving you much time to greet them. Seeing disappointed look on Akari’s face made your night. IN YOUR FACE YOU BITCH ASS HOE
Dabi helped you wear your cardigan, and placed your bag over your shoulders, before he placed his hand around your waist helping you walk a bit. Well, you could walk, but with his grip around you, it was much easier.
,, I thought you could take care of yourself’’ he said once you two were outside. He placed you on the nearest bench, just to light up his cigarette before he pulled you up once again. You placed your arm around his shoulders, bragging about how you can walk perfectly fine.
,, Stop pissing me off doll, you’re hard to hold’’ he said as his grip was getting stronger.
,,Or what ?’’ You laughed, taking the cigarette from him and placing it between your lips. You don’t smoke usually, but alcohol took over you. Dabi laughed surprised, not used at the sight of you smoking.
,, My little Touya, you weren’t even born when I started smoking’’ you managed to say, while he was just laughing at the nonsense you were telling him.
Dabi didn’t know what he should do first, hold you firmly or pull your dress down, scared it was to high up for everyone else to see what’s under it.
,,Now, behave yourself, we are almost home’’ he said pulling your dress down a little, and throwing the almost done cigarette from your lips on the floor.
At his and your surprise both of your parents were still outside enjoying their time. You threw your arm up in the air ready to greet them, but Dabi stopped you fast enough. It’s not like your parents have anything against you drinking. But he wasn’t in a mood to talk with them about anything tonight. And he knew very well that drunk like that you were more then ready for a chat with them.
,, Already home?’’ Enji screamed once he saw you two. You were ready to brag about how you wanted to party a bit longer, but Dabi once again stopped you, telling them how you didn’t feel good that much.
,,What’s your problem man ?’’ You hissed at the party breaker that was pulling you upstairs to your room. Looking how your parents prepared your room made you grin. There was a mattress beside your bed prepared for Dabi.
,, They really think you’ll sleep down there’’ you grinned.
,, Obviously’’ Dabi said, placing you slowly on your bed.
,, Now, change into your pajama while I’m brushing my teeth’’ he said slowly, making sure you understand every word.
With alcohol in your system, you just lain down to rest a bit, before getting all the power and will you had to change.
Pulling your dress over your head, you started looking for your pajamas. Seeing Dabi’s shirt on the floor, you felt satisfied and just wore it. Standing there in the room, you thought if it’s his shirt he wore today, or just the one he got himself for bed. You would rather sleep naked than in a shirt he just wore in the club. Even the thought of the smell of all the smoke and alcohol made you feel dizzy.
Taking the part of his shirt, you pulled it close enough for you to sniff it making sure it’s not his shirt from clubbing.
,,What are you doing doll? ‘’ You froze. Looking to the side, you saw him leaning on the doorframe while smirk was formed on his lips. Luckily there was enough alcohol in your system to feel embarrassed in that very moment, since the view of you sniffing his shirt was weird as fuck.
,, Can’t get enough of me ?’’ he added getting closer to you. ,, You have to wear some shorts, or I’ll really be forced sleep on the mattress tonight’’ he added looking you up and down, while you just stood there speechless.
,, Come here, let’s take off your make up’’ he said, placing his hand on your back, leading the way to the bathroom.
Once you were in the bathroom, Dabi pulled you up, making you sit on the washing machine. Slowly helping you wash your teeth. Swinging your legs playfully, Dabi almost poured the water he prepared for you on the floor. Placing the glass to the side, he took your legs and wrapped them around his waist. Even tho you weren’t sober, you could completely understand the position you were in. Taking the wet wipes he started cleaning your make up carefully. You just closed your eyes enjoying his touch on your face, while he was giving his best to do it gentle as possible.
Sudden feel of a skin brushing over your nose made you open your eyes. Seeing his face not even inches from yours, made you froze. His nose brushing against your own, before you felt his soft lips against your own.
,, You are driving me crazy’’ he said, placing his forehead against yours. Not thinking twice you placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss. At first you knew that he was surprised since he just stood there, but after a short second you felt him smile into the kiss, leaning in and wanting more.
With his hands under your, or better to say his own shirt, he was moving them up and down slowly. The touch of his hands rubbing your naked skin softly made you want more of him. Pulling him closer with your legs, you placed your hands on his chest , wanting to feel everything you could.
Pulling your head back breaking the kiss, you attacked his neck, leaving wet kisses all over it. Touya pulled your body up, placing his hands on your ass, making his way toward your room. Making small breaks while pushing your body against the wall trying to kissing you like his life depended on it.
Once he placed you on the bad, he didn’t waste any time, hovering over you and kissing your neck. Wanting everyone to know to who you belong to. He wanted to make sure the next time you see Kai, he will know that Dabi is the one that’s dicking you down.
,, I know you couldn’t stand the sight of me and Akari, but grinding on Kai like a little whore, making me all jealous was really unnecessary’’ he gasped between kisses. Pulling the shirt over your head he threw it over the room, leaving you only in your panties. ,, especially in that little dress of yours” he added, as he looked over your half naked body.
,, Fuck you, what did you expect of me, I was mad’’ you moaned out once you felt his lips on your breast, sucking and biting it.
,, Well.. guess what’’ he said, still sucking your boob, while squeezing the other one.
,,What?’’ you breathed out, eyes closed while enjoying his lips on your body.
,, Daddy will punish his little naughty girl’’ he said, once again leaving wet love marks all over your chest.
,,Touya, I’m really not into daddy kink’’ you said, your hands deep inside his hair.
,, But I am’’ he said, his head in front of your, making eye contact with you. ,, And tonight I want everyone to know who your real daddy is. I want everyone to know who you belong to’’ he said, wrapping his hand around your throat. ,, Do you understand me ?’’ he added.
,,Yes’’ you whispered, not breakig the eye contact.
,,Yes what?’’ he asked as his hand started to apply pressure to your throat. Not being used to choking, you couldn’t really manage to give him the right answer. It wasn’t the kind of choking where you felt like passing out because of the lack of oxygen, but you were still new to it.
,,Yes daddy’’ you managed to say somehow. Satisfied with your answer, Dabi moved his hand away from your throat, leaving small kisses over the same spot where his hand left small marks.
,, Such a good girl’’ he said, pulling your panties down. Licking his lips, as you were exposed to him. The fact that you were so valuable to him, and knowing how much power he had over you was turning Touya even more on.
Not wasting any time, he spread your thighs further apart, his head leaning down to run his tongue through your folds. Feeling his tongue piercing on your clit, something you always wanted to feel, made you throw you head back into the pillow, while grabbing Dabi’s head pulling him closer to yourself.
Licking you around your opening, the warm and hot feeling of his tongue, mixed with cold feeling of his piercing was making you shiver. You could feel him smirk against your core as he saw how much effect he has on you. You moan as his lips and tongue move against your folds, eating you out like it’s his last meal.
,,Touya please’’ you moan out, as he sucks roughly on your bundle of nerves, causing your body to jolt up, as your fingers grab his messy hair.
Flicking his tongue roughly and tugging your clit, his hands were holding your thighs firmly, as his light blue eyes were focused on you. It doesn’t take him long to make you cum all over his mouth, his name falling from your lips shamelessly. Climbing over you, he kissed you passionately, making you taste yourself on his lips.
Pulling away from the kiss, you started kissing his tattoos, something you wanted to do long time ago. Especially since he came back. Dabi breathed heavily, his head hanging low, while you were under him kissing every little line that covered his body.
He gave you the time you needed, exploring his body as much as you wanted. But once he felt your small hands pulling down his shorts together with his boxers, and licking the tip of his already erected dick, he had to stop you. At your surprise, even his dick was pierced.
,, Another time doll’’ he said, pulling you up. ,, I’ve been dying to fuck you since forever’’ he added, slowly rubbing the tip of his dick around your core. Without any warning his slammed his whole length inside making your scream both in pleasure and pain. Wiggling a little, trying to move just a bit away from him, hoping the pain will go away. But Touya couldn’t let that happened, now when he finally had his dick deep inside you.
,,Just relax baby’’ he said not moving, letting you adjust to his size. Placing soft kisses all over your jaw, then slowly moving out of you, only for him to slide back in, so slow that you could feel every vain of his dick move, together with his piercing rubbing your walls.
Dabi was moving so slow, grinding his hips against yours, as his fingers were rubbing your clit gently. Sliding out of you only until the edge of his head remains, before moving slowly again in, repeating the same move all over again. Only God knew how much he wanted to break you.
,, Touya’’ you moan out once he wraps his fingers with yours, placing your left arm above your head, while his right fingers were still rubbing your clit in circles. Your legs shake as you wrap them around him, another orgasm hitting you hard.
Dabi moans with you, as you squeeze his dick while riding of your orgasm. With you having your second orgasm, he couldn’t hold himself any longer. Your warm walls around him coated in juices were driving him crazy. All the soft and slow moves were forgotten, making his motions now much deeper and intense. Pulling out till the end and slamming recklessly into you again. Groaning in pleasure, he was slamming into you with a speed you could only imagine.
,, Touya, slow down’’ you moaned, closing your eyes, still sensitive from your second orgasm. ,, I don’t think I can take it’’ you added, trying to catch your breath.
,,Of course you can take it. Look at you, you’re taking it right now doll’’ he groaned, holding your hips in one place while fucking you hard like no one ever has before. You were a moaning mess, with every move your moans were louder.
,, Oh God, Touya’’ you moaned, fingers still connected to his. Grabbing his back with your left hand and digging your fingers inside his skin.
,, You’re takng it so well love’’ he said, groaning as he felt the pressure of your nails digging into his back. ,, Go ahead, scratch my back as much as you want’’ he added kissing you sloppily.
Once he started rubbing your clit again, you found yourself digging your nails into his back like a wild cat, finding comfort in it. ,, Touya’’ you moaned his name out as both of you were coming closer to your highs. You could feel his dick twitching inside of you, his moves becoming more deeper and jankier. His eyes were shut, while your body started shaking once again. Once again you felt your orgasm pulsing through your stomach, and there you were again squeezing his dick not being able to control yourself as you moaned his name over and over again. Dabi continued fucking you , his groans getting louder and louder, feeling your walls getting tighter and tighter while you were milking his dick down, he released. Emptying his seeds deep into you.
Both of you stayed in the same position, trying to breath normally. His thumb gently rubbing your hand, as he placed kisses all over your bruised neck.
,, You have no idea how much I wanted to be with you’’ he said between the kisses. ,,I’m so in love with you doll’’ he breathed out, making you feel butterfly’s inside your stomach.
,, Are you?’’ you asked, tilting your head just enough to look at him.
,, Don’t act like you didn’t know already’’ he said smiling, while brushing his nose against your cheek. Of course you didn’t know.
,,Fuck you, I was dying here for you, thinking my love is just one sided’’ you said hitting his chest lightly. ,, I even dated Kai hoping I’ll forget you somehow’’ you added hitting him once again, making him laugh a bit.
,, Don’t mention his name. That’s the past. You belong to me now, only me’’ he said, grabbing your jaw and kissing you. You were always his anyway.
,, All yours, Touya’’ you said, kissing him back-
,, Are you kids awake ? ´´ Enji’s head peeked inside your room, finding his eldest son naked on top of his best friends daughter. Making him choke on the air and forgetting the actual reason he was looking for you two.
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kireimarkeu · 4 years ago
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To You; l.dh
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+another repost! did not make any changes to this work :) p.s this is one of my fav fics i have written :)
summary; bored in quarantine, your boyfriend decides to film himself telling you how much he loves you.
3k words
this was like… ½ edited LMFAO so there might,,, be mistakes…??? this was so tiring to make omfg, enjoy!! lol 
also i mixed the name donghyuck and haechan bc i couldn’t choose one lmfao ok!!! bye gn enjoy!! :)))))))
warnings: there’s a word f*t in it
+Day 1 3:34PM
Haechan adjusted the camera, making sure he could be seen. Once he was sure the camera was reflecting him properly, he leaned back against his gaming chair. 
“Um,” your boyfriend started, looking everywhere but the camera. “This is awkward,” he says, looking back at the camera.
“I started this, since we won’t be able to see each other for a month- because of quarantine,” he explains, “I honestly have no idea what I’m doing right now,” he laughs. 
After a few minutes of pure silence, your boyfriend opened his mouth to continue speaking, “I just feel like— I never really show much love to you?” 
There were times where your boyfriend would purposely avoid saying ‘I love you’ or avoid holding your hands whenever the both of you were outside. Honestly, you didn’t really mind, knowing Donghyuck was never the type to show affection. 
“It’s hard,” he says truthfully, “The boys knows how much I love you, and it sucks that I don’t know how to show you— or tell you, that I love you.”
Haechan bit his lips nervously, “and, I think this video is- or will prove that I love you?”
He wasn’t sure if he was even making sense at this point. 
Your boyfriend groaned, throwing his head back, covering his face with his hands. After a while, he looked back at the camera, “you know what, babe? Just watch the whole thing, okay?”
+Day 4 11:47PM
“Hi,” he smiles, letting out a huff, “this is kinda late, I spent the whole night playing games,” he says guiltily, playing with his fingers, looking away from the camera.
He knows that you didn’t like it when he would stay up until ungodly hours just to play games with his friends. You hated how he would put his health aside just to play games. 
He brings his hands up to brush his wet hair. 
“Uh,” he sighs out loud, pouting. “I feel bad for staying up late last night, so I’m going to spend the whole night with you today,” he laughs. 
Another moment of silence pass. 
“I don’t know what to say,” he whines. 
He sat there in silence, staring at the ground, figuring out on what to say. Should he tell you about his day?
“Well, I woke up at 5PM today,” he tells you, “I ate dinner with my family— mom cooked chicken today!” he says happily, “Then, I went to call you for a bit because I missed you a little too much,” he pouts. 
He scratched his head, “then I showered and now this-“ he says, pointing to the camera. 
“Um, it has been 4 days and I miss you too much,” he says truthfully, “facetiming isn’t working, I think I’m going crazy,” he laughs. 
+Day 5 7:38PM
He was talking halfway, talking about how much he admires you when his phone started ringing. 
“Oh?” he turns around to grab his phone from his bed. A smile formed on his face when he saw you facetiming him. 
He turned to the camera to show his screen, “Baby, you’re calling me,” he giggles before quickly answering to your facetime. 
“Channie~” you whine cutely when your boyfriend answered your facetime, “what are you doing, hyuckie?”
Usually, your boyfriend would complain whenever you would speak in a cute voice, but he secretly likes it. He secretly likes being babied. 
He looks at the camera that was recording the both of you. 
“Nothing,” he lies, “why did you call me, loser?”
You huff, raising your arms so he could see you laying on the bed. “I’m bored, hyuckie~ entertain me~”
He leans back on his chair, “wanna play games with me?”
Your face beam at his words, “Okay! I’ll get my X-Box ready now.”
Your boyfriend was the one who bought for you the X-Box. Well, it was an old version, but you loved it, nonetheless. It wasn’t like you played daily— you only played with boyfriend. 
“I’ll call you in 5, baby,” he tells you, already walking over to turn on the tv. 
“Kay, bye-bye, love you, Hyuckie,” you say in a baby voice, bringing your phone closer to press your lips on the camera. 
Donghyuck scrunched his nose in disgust, “yeah, yeah,” he says before ending the call. 
He quickly grab the camera that was still recording, he moved the camera closer to press a kiss, “I love you too, y/n.”
+Day 7 3:01PM
“Do you remember when you gave me the teddy bear— Oh my gosh, I feel like a youtuber,” he cackles. He shook his head, focusing back to what he was saying. 
“So, do you remember when you gave me the teddy bear?” he asks, “wait,” he says, standing up to grab the tiny teddy bear that was sitting on his bed. 
You had bought him the bear during your 200th day with him. Donghyuck didn’t really give the reaction you wanted. 
“Do you not like it?” you had asked him, disappointment laced in your voice. You didn’t dare look at him, upset with yourself that you had bought something that he didn’t like. 
“No, no!” he quickly replied, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his chest, the other holding the tiny bear. “I love it,” he says. 
You knew it was a lie. He didn’t seem to like it. 
“I love it,” he says, “I know I didn’t show like I did at that time, but I need it with me every time I go to bed.” 
He scratches his head, regretting his actions that has had happened months ago. 
“No one has ever bought me a bear before,” he explains, “and when you bought it for me, it just felt— I felt, I felt happy? I felt fulfilled? Do you know what I mean?” 
“I really wanted to tell you that I loved your present, especially when you had bought me another present a few days later,”
‘it was to make up for the previous present’ was your reason. 
It broke his heart when you said that while handing him a couple bracelet. He wanted to tell you how much he loved your gift, but it was so hard for him. 
“I hated myself for not being able to tell you the truth, it’s hard—and it still is,” he sighs, “I hope by doing this, I can assure you that I love you..?” 
+Day 10 9:34PM
He was in the middle of filming himself when his mother comes in. 
“Donghyuck-ah, what are you doing? Do you want some fruits?” his mother asks, looking at his son, not noticing the camera perched on the dressing table. 
Instead of answering his mother’s question, he grabs the camera to film his mother. 
“Eomma, say hello to y/n,” Donghyuck says. 
His mother raised her eyebrows in surprised, “hello my dear y/n~ how are you?”
Your boyfriend giggle from behind the camera, “tell her how much you miss her,”
“I think I miss you more than Donghyuck does,” she jokes. “What is this for, Donghyuck-ah?”
Haechan placed the camera back on the dressing table, turning to look at his mum.
“I’m making a video for y/n until quarantine is over,” he explains as his mother walks in, wrapping her arm around her son’s shoulder. 
His mother’s heart warmed at his son’s words. 
“You’re growing up way too fast, our Donghyuck~” she cooed, pulling your boyfriend’s cheeks as he whined in pain. 
You would also pinch his cheeks almost every time the both of you are together. Whenever you had Donghyuck’s cheeks between your fingers, he would whine, pulling away from your grip.
“Eomma! I want strawberries!” he shouts after his mother left his room. 
He turns his attention back to the camera, “Anyways—”
+Day 17 2:35AM
“I really like your eyes,” Haechan confesses dreamily, “your eyes are the colour of shit,” he jokes, “but they’re so shiny, baby,”
The first time he realizes he’s in love with your glimmering eyes was when he brought you out on a date to star gaze. You were staring at the sky, a smile plastered on your face, amazed at how beautiful the sky was. 
When you noticed your boyfriend staring at you, you turned to face him. Your eyes captured his heart. How could someone have such bright eyes?
“Oh! And when you smile, you make my heart beat like crazy!” he chuckles. 
The first thing that caught Hyuck’s eyes when he had a crush on you was your bright smile. He believes that was the main reason that he fell for you. How you would always have a beaming smile plastered on your face everywhere you go. 
He thinks it’s adorable. 
The small dimples that was on the side of your lips whenever you smile. 
And your adorable little laugh he adores so much. 
Or the little birthmark you had on the corner of your mouth. 
After talking about you for a while, he let out a satisfied sigh, “I’m so whip for you, you know?”
After 17 days of making videos for you, it started becoming easier for him to show his love for you. 
“Everything you do makes me go crazy, do you realise that?” he asks you, “do you realize that everything you do makes me happy? No, you don’t have to do anything, your presence makes me melt.”
He laughs at how he was flirting, “you’re probably laughing too,”
His laughter died down, letting out a tired sigh, “well, it’s late and I’m going to go to bed before you nag at me some more,”
He let out a yawn, “goodnight y/n, I love you so much, you don’t know how happy you make me,”
+Day 20 2:56PM
This time, it was different. 
He was filming himself at McDonalds drive-thru. 
“Guess who’s this for?” he asks the camera, his gaze on the road. “Yes, you.”
He turns to look at the camera for a second before paying attention on the road, “you didn’t ask me to get you anything but I wanted to get something for you,” he explains. 
He was lying, this was just an excuse to see you, even for a second. Even if it’s 6 feet apart. Even if there was a glass between the both of you. 
“I think you know the reason why I’m buying this for you,” he says, referring to the food. “To make you fat! You’re right, y/n,” he jokes. 
That was also a lie. You tend to eat less whenever you’re stressed. 
After he found out that you had a project, he knew how stress you would be, and decided to get food, making sure you eat healthily. 
Your boyfriend would never fail to remind you how much he loves your body. No matter shape or size. He has always made sure you feel loved with who you are. 
“I think you know the real reason why I’m coming over,” he adds. When he reaches a red light, he turns to look at the camera with a pout, “I can’t help it, I miss you too much, y/n,” he says in a baby voice. 
He grimaces at his actions, shaking his head disapprovingly, “I am never doing that ever again.”
A few minutes later, he reached your house. He had texted you to that he was waiting for you outside. 
It took you a while to come out, but when you did, you had one of his hoodies over your body. 
He loves it when you wear his clothes, it makes him feel all giddy. 
‘One day, I’m going to wear all of your clothes’ he would say whenever you steal his clothes. 
You walked over to his car, “what the hell are you doing here, dummy,” you ask him, maintaining the distance. 
He grabbed the bag of food from the passenger’s seat and passed it to you from the window of his car. 
“Brought you food, you unappreciative bitch,” he tells you while you walk up to grab the food from him. 
You open the bag to see your favourite food, “my favourite food, too?!” you squeal, “Haechan best boyfie~”
He rolls his eyes, “yeah, yeah, go and finish your project,”
You nodded, the smile not leaving your face. 
“I’ll facetime you later?” he asks. 
“At 11,” you confirmed. 
He nods, signalling for you to go back in. You blow a kiss to your boyfriend before turning around to go back in. 
He quickly fishes out his camera, filming you walking back in your house. 
“Look at my baby all happy because I brought her food,” he says, “enjoy your food, pretty,”
+Day23 6:07PM
“Day 23,” he breathes out. “I didn’t expect it to go by so fast,” he blurts out. 
He puffs his cheeks out, “I don’t want to stop making videos for you, but you would just make fun of me for being soft,”
He had started growing content on making videos for you every day. 
“But at the same time, I can finally see you after a month, babe!” he says happily. “I can finally hold you in my arms, we can kiss until the world ends, we can also do it,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. 
Well, he can’t lie he did miss doing it with you. 
He sighs, “anyway, when we can finally get together, we can watch movies, then come back to my place and we can cuddle!”
He missed that. 
Personally, Donghyuck preferred going over to your place but you preferred going to his place because he had games and a huge bed, and it was just comfortable. 
“Ahh,” he groan, “I miss you like crazy! I think I have to end this video early because I wanna facetime you right now,”
He grabs his phone on the table to call you. 
“Okay, bye babe, I love you, I’m going to talk to you now!”
+Day 25 4:03AM
“Hi,” donghyuck greet the camera. 
Anyone could realise he wasn’t in the best mood. 
It took Donghyuck a while to start talking, “we had a fight earlier today,” he says, his voice lace with disappointment and… hurt?
You had texted him just an hour ago, ranting about your homework. When Donghyuck replied to you a minute later, you got angry at him because he was staying up again at ungodly hours. 
He didn’t understand why you were so angry because you were awake at the same timing as he is. 
“I’m going to give you space, because it’s what you need right now,” he says. “I hope you know I still love you no matter what,”
He bit his lip hesitantly, “I know you don’t like it when I stay up with the boys, but I don’t like you staying up to finish your work either, baby”
He closes his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I hope you don’t get too stressed over school, eat healthily, and make sure you rest from time to time, babygirl,”
He lets out another sigh before reaching for the camera, “I love you,”
+Day 28 7:36PM
 Haechan purses his lips, staring at the camera, “today is a bad day,” he starts. 
Today he had woke up a little earlier than normal after talking it out with you a few days ago. He decided to get up early and help his mom with cooking, which only resulted him in getting scolded by his mother for making a mess. 
After that, he decided to play games with his friends, however despite playing for 5 hours straight, he didn’t get a single win. 
Now, he has tried to contact you, but you have not replied to him. Probably busy with school. 
He let out a huff, “take a break y/n,” he whines, “focus on me too~”
Letting out a pout he shakes his head, “kidding babe, get those A’s!”
“Well, now I don’t really have anything to do so I’m going to facetime you again, bye babe!”
+Day 30 10:18AM
“Hyuckie!” you call out, running to your boyfriend. When you reached him, you threw your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, making him stumble back a few steps as he grabs on your waist. 
You hid your face in his neck, breathing in his scent. He smells so good.
“You’re not going to let go of me until I say so,” you mumble, tightening your grip around his neck.
He chuckles at you, “I won’t let go of you until you say so,” 
Donghyuck was satisfied with having his arms wrapped around your waist, his face covered in your hair. 
After a few moments of the both of you just holding each other, you finally pull away from your boyfriend. 
“Y/n,” he says, making you hum.
“Wait,” you stop him, making him stare at you with wide eyes as he froze on the spot. 
“Can you kiss me first?” you ask. His eyes soften at your request. Your fingers trace his bottom lips, “I miss your pretty lips.”
He smiles at your words and nodded. Pulling you closer by your waist, he pressed his lips against yours. Your hands rest on his chest while you both share a needy kiss. 
After a few minutes, you pull away, breathless with crimson red cheeks.
Haechan raised his eyebrows as he resumed, “I made something for you,”
You gasped, “what is it?”
He fishes out a CD player. The CD held videos of him explaining how much he loves and appreciates you throughout the whole month. 
He passes you the gift. 
“Watch this at home?” he tells you. 
You grab the CD from his grip, “okay? What is this all about?”
“Just promise me you’ll watch it at home?” he asks again, staring down at you. 
“I will! I will!” 
After making videos of himself for 29 days straight, Donghyuck have concluded that he was so utterly in love with you. He was so in love with you that he didn’t know how to express how much he adores you.
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sei-hoe · 3 years ago
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manager pt. 5
hello all! as always thank you for your love on this story.  i hope you like this new chapter! leave me a comment, i love reading your thirsty thoughts! also i recently remembered that shiratorizawa is a dorm school lol, so from now on i will write it as such oopsie. also!! i got all official and made a banner for this series, im so official!
Fem Reader X Tendou Satori & Fem Reader x Ushijima Wakatoshi
CW: blowjob, angst, jealous themes, manipulative reader, language, implied sex, spit kink
WC: 2.6k
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
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Clingy. That was the word you would use to describe Tendou as of late.  During school he was walking with you in the hallways, during practice he was standing next to you, after practice he was walking you to your room.  It wasn’t necessarily annoying, just strange.  His change in behavior was sudden and unprompted, at least in your mind.  
You had been the Shiratorizawa volleyball club manager for about a month now and your outlook had changed drastically.  What used to feel awkward was now second nature.  You used to flinch at what now was commonplace.  Being “used” wasn’t what it used to be.  Now it was something you looked forward to at the end of practice and you had actually become...dare you say it...friends with these guys.  Friends with extreme benefits that is.
But still, Tendou was different.  You’d catch him staring at you in a way that was different from the other guys.  You’d catch him staring as Ushijima would carry you out of the gym on his back and straight to the locker room.  He’d have a look that you used to not be able to identify in his eyes, you knew now it was jealousy.  It was the same look that you’d found on Ushijima’s face about a month ago.  
From Tendou’s perspective, it seemed as though Ushijima was hogging you, whisking you away after practice day in and day out.  You would always walk out of the locker room with wet hair and another one of Ushijima’s shirts on.  It was infuriating and just wasn’t fair.  Tendou had barely been able to talk to you recently, hence his rather clingy behavior.  But you were in heaven.  You were in Ushijima’s presence daily and were able to care for him how he deserved.  However, he had made it very clear that you were not his girlfriend as he didn’t have the time for such a commitment.  Another price you were willing to pay.
  _____
Another grueling practice ended a little bit later than usual, you noted the dark sky through the windows towards the top of the gym walls.  You were working on a bit of homework when the final whistle was blown signifying the official end of practice.  You stood up and began packing up your bag as the team approached the bench for a meeting.  Tendou was the first to arrive by the bench, coming up behind you for a hug, wrapping his arms around your upper stomach and resting his chin on your head.  His chest felt hot and sweaty against your back, instantly raising your body temperature.  You giggled, knowing exactly which sweaty athlete this was.  You and Tendou had become quite close, despite spending less time with him sexually, at least, during the last month.  It seemed as though you were never really alone anymore and Tendou was always around you.  It was nice, he had become a great friend to you.  The two of you were always flirting back and forth and unlike Ushijima, it seemed as though Tendou really cared about you, both emotionally and physically.  He always made sure you came before him and that you were alright after one of your umm...managerial obligations, whereas Ushijima didn’t care if you came at all.  Long story short, you always enjoyed the time you spent with Tendou.  
A few words were said per the usual by the captain and practice was dismissed.  Tendou, still holding onto you from behind, moved his hand further down to your lower stomach, began rubbing gently, and craned his neck down to whisper in your ear, “ya wanna get outta here?”.  You could hear the smirk behind his words as his hot breath blew against your ear.
“Mhm”, you murmured eagerly, missing your time with Tendou.
“Good”, he hummed in response, “because there’s something I’d like to give ya,” He accentuated his dirty talk by moving his hand even lower, “right here.” To say you had butterflies was an understatement.  It was crazy what a couple of words could reduce you to, but here you were.  
You walked back over to the bench to pick up your bag, but was intercepted by Ushijima who had a proposition.  
“Come back with me to my room”, he offered, stepping close enough to make you crane your neck up.  You looked behind you at Tendou, he was laughing with Semi, unaware that you were about to ruin his night.  It’s not that you didn’t want to fuck Tendou, you did, very much actually.  That’s just how whipped you are for Ushijima.  
“But I already told Tendou that I’d-”, you started.
“Go make up some excuse and then wait for me outside of the locker room.” he interrupted while he started for the gym doors. Ushijima was hardly in the mood to share you tonight, or ever really.  You watched him leave while standing and staring, awkwardly contemplating what to say to Tendou.  You mustered up the courage to walk over to him, smiling and saying goodnight to Semi as you passed him on his way out.  
“Hey, umm, I just remembered that I’ve got a ton of homework that’s due tomorrow and I just think I should probably-”
“What did Ushijima just say to you?” he caught you off guard with his question, although you should have been expecting it.  
“Nothing, I just have a lot of homework.” you quickly replied.
Tendou rolled his eyes, “Come on, we’re closer than that, you don’t have to lie to me.” His hands were placed on his hips in an annoyed fashion.  
You remained silent, thinking of anything you could say to ease the tension.  
“Ok, I’ll say something then.  Are you dating Ushijima or something?”
You shook your head.
“Ok...so then last I checked you were still the team manager, would that be correct?  Meaning you’re not just Ushijima’s to play with? Cuz there are other guys on the team that are stressed out too, if that’s what we’re even calling it anymore.”
You blushed at this choice of words.  “You don’t understand, I-” you started again.
“I think I do understand actually.  And just so you know, he’s never going to give you what you want.  You think you’re the first girl to fall for him?” He scoffed.  “I mean, fuck,” he ran his taped up fingers through his sweat-soaked hair.  “It just gets old, ya know?” Tendou looked so hurt and angry.  He opened his mouth to speak but closed it promptly and turned on his heel to leave.  You reached to grab his arm before he could slip out of your grasp.
“Wait, Tendou...please.” you whispered into his sleeve, despite being the only two left in the vast gymnasium.  “I don’t want things to be like this either.  You,” you paused to collect your thoughts. “You’re my friend and I love all the time that we get to spend together.  I always have the best time with you. But I can’t help liking Ushijima.  So please don’t be mad at me,” you prayed into his arm, still gripping at his sleeve.  
He finally turned around to face you, taking a deep inhale, he looked down into your wide, pleading eyes while exhaling through his nose.  
“Fuck, don’t look at me like that.” he looked away from you.  
“Look at you, how?” You prodded, widening your eyes and moving closer to him.  
“You know exactly how.” he smirked, bringing his hands to rest at your sides, lightly rubbing his thumbs in soothing circular motions.  Beginning at the bottom of his abdomen you begin running your hands up his stomach, to his chest, shoulders, and finally around his neck.  Standing on your tippy toes you pull him down to your level.  
“Can I tell you a secret?” you breathed in his ear.  
“Please,” he replied, his hands making their way down to your ass.  
“You’re the one that I think about. It’s your hands that I imagine are touching me when I’m touching myself. You always make me feel so good, Tendou.”
“Ughh why are you doing this to me?” He whined, tipping his head back.  It was then that you noticed the prominent tent in his pants, poking you in the stomach.  
You’d never seen Tendou so flustered in the short time that you’d known him.  He was usually the one making you flustered, not the other way around.  It was a nice change of pace.   It was also refreshing to know you had a kind of power over him, the kind to make him lose his mind.  
“You sure you can’t bail on him?” He asked, hope gleaming in his red eyes.   It made you pause to think about your options, a wicked idea popped into your head.
“Come wait with me?” you began pulling his arm towards the gym doors.  He looked confused, but followed you anyway.  Maybe you needed to give Ushijima a little push, it’s only a bonus that you get to makeout with Tendou too.
_____
The concrete bricks felt cold against the backs of your legs as Tendou shoved you against the locker room corridor hallway, the entrance to the room just around the corner.   One of his hands cradled the back of your head, protecting it from the hard brick while the other pressed bruises into your waist.  His chapped lips scraped against yours in a heated kiss, tongues fighting for dominance, his eventually winning as you whined into his mouth.  He broke the kiss to stroke his own ego, his hands trailing down your sides to play with the waistband of your shorts.  
“So you really think about my hands touching you when you play with that cute little cunt?”
“Please Tendou”, you moaned in response.  
“I think you’ve had enough attention for today, fucking teasing me for the last fifteen minutes. Hell, the last couple weeks actually.  You fucking rile me up just to go fuck some other dude.  You like being a little slut? Hmm?”  
You were at a loss for words.  As much as his words were turning you on, you knew there was some truth behind them.  He was onto your antics and done with them.  
“You think I don’t know why we’re making out right by the locker rooms?  Are you trying to make Ushijima feel like he’s missing out or something?  Being all cute with me to show him how good of a girlfriend you’d be? Well fuck that shit. Get on your knees slut.”
He removed his hand from your waistband and brought them to your shoulders guiding you down to your knees. You couldn’t even rest on your calves, you had to stand up as tall as you could on your knees to be eye level with the imprint in his shorts.  
“Fuck, it doesn’t take much, does it?” He scoffed as he pulled his shorts down to reveal his hard, heavy cock.
“Aw you didn’t think we’d take it this far, didja?  Better make this quick if you don’t want your boyfriend to catch us!” Tendou tilted his head to the side, a smirk plastered on his face while he caressed the top of your head.  
You opened your mouth to lap up the precum on his tip, swirling your tongue along the soft skin on the head of his cock.  
“Nah, I don’t feel like being teased anymore today.” Tendou spoke as he readjusted his grip on your head, scooting you back until you were trapped between the painted brick wall and his body.  You didn’t have a moment to adjust before his cock was plugging up your throat, making you gag around him.  The pace started brutally, shoving in and out of your mouth.  It was all you could do to keep up, running your tongue against the engorged vein on the underside of his cock.  He never eased up until you tapped his thigh signifying you had enough.  
“Too much?” he condescended.  You looked back up at him with watery eyes, swallowing as many breaths as you could before it all started over again.  
“This would have been much nicer for both of us if you hadn’t ditched me,  I would’ve made you feel so good, baby.”  He paused to take in your appearance, you looked so pretty like this.  Your hair was a mess, eyes watery, lips so fucking swollen, drool dripping down the sides of your mouth, your chest heaving, and he had a great view down your shirt.  Is this what his captain got to see everyday?  The thought filled him with rage.  If he had known he’d come to feel this way about you, he would’ve just asked you out, not asked you to be the manager.  Ushijima wouldn’t have ever noticed you had it not been for him!  Fuck, that’s annoying.
“Ya ready for a little more?”
You smiled at him through bated breaths, nodding your head.  Things hadn’t gone exactly to plan, but you were still having a good time.  You opened your mouth, closed your eyes, and stuck out your tongue, ready for whatever he had to give you.  Tendou bent down into a squat until his mouth hovered just above yours.  You felt something warm and sticky hit your tongue, you opened your eyes only to find a thin line of spit connecting Tendou’s lips with the liquid pooling in your mouth. Did he just spit in your mouth?  Before you could say anything he was back on his feet, cock in his hand, rolling it in the spit laying on your tongue.  He inched his way back into your throat, watching your eyes water with every thrust of his hips.  
“Fuck you’re gonnna make me cum if you keep looking at me like that.” He continued thrusting, your throat convulsing around his cock.  
“You’re gonna leave here with a tummy full of cum, ok sweetie?” His breaths and thrusts were becoming stuttered, he was close.  
“You’re gonna fuck Ushijima with my cum swirling around in your stomach.”  He whimpered, talking himself into an orgasm. With his hips giving one final thrust, you felt the back of your throat flood with cum.  Tendou held his hips flush to your mouth for a few seconds, emptying himself completely into your stomach.  He hissed as he pulled your head off of his now oversensitive cock.  
“Lemme see.” he sighed.   You stuck out your tongue, displaying your empty mouth to him.  
“Mmm good girl.”  He offered you his hand to help you up off of your knees.  He tucked himself back into his pants as the locker room door creaked open.  
“That’s my queue!” Tendou pulled you in for one final kiss, moaning as the taste of his cum hit his tongue.  And with that, he shrugged his backpack onto his shoulders and took off walking down the hallway.  
_____
You walked face first into a warm chest when you rounded the corner leading to the locker room door, looking for Ushijima.  Looks like you had found him.  His hair was still damp from the shower, his body was warm and humid through his clothes.  
“Are you ready to go?” He asked.  
“Yea-” you cleared your throat.  “Yeah!” That’s better.  Your voice was horse and your throat was sore.  
Ushijima noted your appearance.  Your hair was messy and your makeup was smudged.  Your lips were bright red and your chin was glistening.  He took your hand in his to begin the quiet walk to his dorm room.  He heard footsteps in the opposite direction, only to turn around to see Tendou walking away from the two of you, a slight pep in his step and unknownst to Ushijima a smug look on his face.  
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fangirlovestuff · 3 years ago
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Never Too Late - Chris Evans x reader
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a/n- hey lovely people!! i hope you’re all doing well:) i’ve been working on this one for a while, and i’m super excited to finally share it! because it’s Chris’ birthday, i wanted to have some fun with this, so in the story, chris says 3 things that are quotes / paraphrases of some of his characters’ quotes (like 3 things his characters said in movies lol). see if you can find all 3 of them;) enjoy<3
Summary: Romance is an illusion. Unattainable. Absolutely unrealistic. No one can have a fairytale love story. But maybe, you don't need a fairytale. You just need each other. (In which you and Chris have each given up on romance, but then you meet, and… sparks fly.)
Word Count: 9.6k (hello longest oneshot i’ve ever written!!)
Warnings: some curse words, (responsible) alcohol consumption, slight angst?? honestly it’s just obliviousness, slow burn!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
This was a waste of time.
I'm sorry, the text read, something came up. Raincheck? ;)
Douche. He was the one that asked if you could do this today instead of tomorrow, so you moved your meeting. But apparently, that didn't matter, since he wasn't planning to show up anyway.
You blocked his number, leaving your place at the bar and heading towards the exit. You were in the middle of typing out a furious message to your friend who set you up on this blind date, when you collided with someone in your path quite harshly. You rubbed your arm where you bumped into the person and gazed upwards to meet his eyes.  
"Sorry," you both said in unison.
The man let out a chuckle. "Sorry," he repeated, his amused eyes gazing into yours.
"No, I'm the one who should apologize," you said, "I wasn't looking where I was going," you lifted up your phone, gesturing to the reason.
"I'm sure it was important," he made a dismissive gesture with his hand, "don't worry about it."
"It really wasn't. Again, sorry," you grimaced.
"It's fine," he reassured you, "I was actually on my way to get another drink so it's not like I spilled anything, no harm done," he smiled.
"Well, I'm really glad. Have a good rest of your night," you smiled back. Thinking that was the end of it, you turned to continue your walk towards the exit, opening your texts to write that message to your friend, but as you were turning around the man reached out and grabbed onto your wrist, not harshly but enough to make you turn around to face him once more.
He immediately let go of your hand, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Sorry, I don't mean to intrude, it's just… you seemed kind of upset when I bumped into you, are you alright?"
You sighed, shaking your head with a smile, "I'm fine," you looked up at him, "just got ditched by this blind date. Guy didn't show, so I was writing a furious message to my friend who set me up," you chuckled, "that's why I wasn't paying attention."
"Sorry," he said with a sympathetic grimace. "So why were you writing to your friend and not to the guy? I mean, he's the one who bailed."
"No offense, but I learned not to expect as much from the male species," you smirked, and he chuckled in return. "Got bailed on one too many times to have high expectations. Honestly, I was only willing to go on this date cause my friend said this was a great guy and, according to her, I was 'on the sure road to becoming a spinster'. So, I appeased her," you shrugged. Your confession left your lips with such ease, you were almost taken aback by how easy it was to talk to this complete stranger this openly. Maybe, it was easier because you were strangers.
"Ah, I know what that's like. I mean, not the spinster part, the part about appeasing your friends," he chuckled. "They're over there," he gestured to a table a little to the back, "to 'cheer me up'. Said I needed to leave my house more. Although I don't know if they're still sober enough to remember that's why they're here," he smiled affectionately as he looked at his table. Sure enough, the guys looked pretty drunk, but the man didn't seem to resent them for it, he was just amused.
"What did you need cheering up for?" you asked once his gaze went back to meet yours.
"Well, I got dumped. We were together for a few years. I even had a ring," he raised his eyebrows, "but she said it wasn't working out anymore. At least she didn't know about the ring yet," he smiled bitterly.
"Small victories," you nodded sympathetically.
"Yeah," he chuckled, "anyway, she just finished taking the last of her stuff from ou- my place. She was really lingering with it, we broke up like a month ago. Didn't have the heart to rush her."
"I'm sorry," you put a comforting hand on his shoulder, albeit a bit awkwardly. He seemed to appreciate it anyway. "Your sob story's way worse than mine," you joked, getting a small huff of laughter out of him.
"I guess," he said. "But that means I get where you're coming from on the whole no dating thing. It just seems pointless," he shrugged.
"I'm sure this is the part where anyone else would've told you that it'll be okay and you'll find 'your person', but since I'm shittier than that I'll be honest – romance is dead and we'll both probably die alone," you said flatly.
Your blunt tone made him smile, which in turn made you smile, and you nodded as your words sank into the silence between you. You started giggling, and soon he followed, and you were both laughing softly for a while.
"I'm sorry," he said, still grinning, "I don't know why I'm laughing. It's sad."
"Very sad," you agreed, a grin on your face as well. "to be fair, spinsterhood doesn't sound that bad. Except for the cats thing. I'll never be a crazy cat lady," you shook your head, "they hate me, every single one. I'd get dogs though," you mused, "have a little army of 'em."
"Sounds fun," he smiled.
"Right?" you smiled back, "I'm telling you, it's not as bad as people make it out to be."
Wrapped up in your conversation, you were both still standing next to the bar, and another man pushed past you to get to the bartender. The bubble around the two of you exploded, and you remembered that you were still in public, at the bar.
"You should go get that drink you were here for," you said, gesturing towards the bar.
"Alright," he chuckled. Just then, the man finished ordering, so he told the bartender what he'd like to have, then turned to you.
"Hey, romance might be dead, but chivalry isn't. Let me buy you a drink," he grinned.
"Be still my beating heart," you feigned emotion, before a smile crept back onto your face. "I'll have whatever you're having," you shrugged, and waited as he told the bartender to bring you two another drink.  
"So, if you're buying me a drink, I feel like it's only fair I should know your name," you smiled.
"That does seem fair," he sent a small smile your way. "I'm Chris," he put out his hand and you shook it, telling him your name in return.
"So, you come here often?" he smirked, prompting the both of you into another fit of laughter.
"For real though," you said once you got your drinks, "I'm really not looking for anything romantic right now. I hope that's okay."
"Of course," he reassured, "I'm not either."
"Okay good cause this is like, really tasty, so I wouldn't mind having a couple more," you held up the drink he got you with a grin, making him laugh.
You did have a couple more, with Chris. You ended up sitting at the bar, his friends not really noticing he was gone, and talking about anything and everything. You were almost reluctant to end the night, but you really should get home, which is what you told Chris before getting up and getting your wallet.
"Hey, no," he said and gestured for you to put it away, "I was serious, I'll pay."
"Really? I mean, this wasn't a date so I just thought-"
He shook his head adamantly and you put your hands up in surrender and smiled. "Okay. Thank you," you told him as you put your wallet away.
"You're very welcome. Although, there is something I still want to ask you. Can I get your number?"
You opened your mouth to protest, but before you could he spoke up again.
"Nothing romantic, I swear," he chuckled, "but it was really fun hanging out tonight. We should do it again. Completely platonically." He smiled sincerely.
You narrowed your eyes in mock suspicion before laughing. "Alright. Sure, you can have my number," you said, and he grinned before giving you his phone. You put in your number and gave it back.
"See you around, Chris," you smiled before leaving the bar, the smile lingering on your face all the way back to your house.
And when your friends asked you how the date was, you told them he bailed and you went home, never mentioning meeting Chris. You knew how they'd see it, and it wasn't like that, so you just… kept it to yourself. For now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
On your way to Chris' house, you picked up the takeout from the place he told you about, before texting him you got it and you were almost there.
It's been a couple of weeks since you met him, and so far he was proving to be a great friend. You texted back and forth most days, but never found the time to meet up again, until today, that is.
You had texted him about your crappy day at work, and how happy you were this week was finally, finally over, so he invited you t his house, and suggested you watch a movie. And well, you accepted. A movie night with a friend was just what you needed to put this shitty week behind you.
"Hi," you greeted him once he opened the door.
"Hi!" he took the takeout bags from your hands and gestured for you to follow him inside, and into the kitchen. "So," he started, while taking out the food, "I realized forgot to tell you; I have a dog," he smiled apologetically, "I don't know if that's a problem, he's in my room upstairs, I won't-"
"Are you kidding?" you nearly squealed, "of course that's not a problem! I told you if I could I'd be a crazy dog lady," you giggled. "Can I meet him?"
"Great!" he chuckled at your enthusiasm, "sure, I'll go get him."
As he went upstairs, you stood there, looking around his kitchen. You weren't sure what to do, it seemed like he got all the food, and it wasn't your house, so… you just stood there.
Fortunately, you soon heard the patter of footsteps, and just as you were about to call out to Chris to ask him if there was anything you could do to help, you heard him yell out.
"Dodger!"
And just then, a big whirl of movement came towards you, and before you knew it a large dog was resting his paws on you, nearly knocking you back. You regained your footing before you crouched down to your knees with a beam.
"Hey," you cooed at the excited dog, who was wagging his tail and still trying to climb onto you, apparently. "Hey," you repeated yourself, rubbing behind his ears affectionately. "It's so nice to meet you," you kept cooing and stroking his fur. He propped himself up and licked your cheek, making you giggle. "Thank you, you're so cute," you scratched his neck affectionately.
"Sorry about him, he gets excited around new people," Chris came into the kitchen apologizing.
"No worries," you grinned as the large dog laid down on his back, exposing his stomach to you in a silent request for belly rubs which you willingly provided. "He's adorable," you looked up at Chris, who was grinning back at you.
"He really is," he agreed, going to finish putting the food in plates before lifting them.
"Can I help with anything?" you asked, still crouched down and petting Dodger.
"Nope, all set," he smiled, "let's go."
He led the way to his living room, where he set the plates down on the coffee table and picked up the remote. "So, what do you wanna watch?"
"Oh, I don't know," you shrugged as you sat down on the couch, "you can pick."
"Well, I would, but we're here because you've had a shitty week, so you should pick whatever you want."
"Ugh, don't remind me. See, Dodger would never do this to me," you turned your gaze to the dog, who has settled at your feet, and started petting him again. "Right? Of course you won't, you're the cutest dog," you cooed.
Chris burst out into a short laugh. "Are you going to steal my dog?"
"It's a very real possibility," you said dryly, shrugging. You turned your gaze to him, your hand still petting Dodger, and smirked.
"Okay, so are you gonna pick a movie now that we've settled that?" he asked, smiling.
"I don't know what to pick," you admitted, "I don't wanna put on anything you don't like, I guess," you mumbled.
"Awwwww, it's fine," he assured with an easy smile, "pick whatever."
You caved and put on a movie you really liked – The Princess Bride. As he realized what movie you were putting on, Chris chuckled.
"Really? That's what you're going with?"
"See? I told you I'd put on something you wouldn't like. Forget it, we can just-"
"No, no!" he cut you off, "I really like this movie," he grinned, "I just wouldn't expect that from someone who claims romance is dead, that's all," he chuckled.
"Well, movies have… dragons in them. Do you think dragons are real just cause they're in movies?" you reasoned.
"Okay, I see your point," he raised his hands in mock surrender.
A comfortable silence stretched over the both of you from that point, the only thing filling it was the sound of the movie playing and the occasional shuffling sound when either of you, or Dodger, shifted on the couch.
A bit later, Chris spoke up. "Hey, want a beer?"
"Uh, I probably shouldn't have any. Driving myself home and all," you shrugged.
"Yeah, that's smart," he chuckled. You were both lowering your voices, as if not to disrupt the movie which was still playing. "Mind if I have one?"
"Not at all," you answered truthfully, "It's your house."
He let out another short chuckle, nodding before getting up. When he heard Chris getting up, Dodger lifted his head from where he was laying, and swiftly followed him into the kitchen.
When they returned, Chris brought you a glass of water, and gave it to you before sitting down. Dodger jumped back up onto the sofa, curling up beside Chris, laying his head on his stretched-out legs.
"Awwww," you softly smiled, "that's adorable. He really loves you."
"Not nearly as much as I love him," Chris replied, smiling and fondly rubbing Dodger's head.
"See, that's good love. Love that lasts," you remarked. Thinking that was the end of it, you turned your head back to the movie.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Huh?" you turned your head back to Chris.
"What did you mean by that?" he repeated.
"Oh, nothing," you shook your head. "Just, you know. I know I seem very opposed to romance, but I'm not against love. I love my family," you shrugged, "because they made me the person I am today. They're a part of me. I just don't think that a love between two people who aren't family can last in the same way."
"Yeah. You're probably right. What about dogs though? They're certainly not blood related to us," he joked.
"Certainly," you laughed, "But dogs aren’t as fucked up as humans, so it's not really comparable. Dogs don’t stay up thinking about something embarrassing they did five years ago. Dogs probably don't even get embarrassed, really. They don't have as many doubts and… restrictions. Barriers. They don't have to make everything complicated."
"But humans do."
"Bingo," you chuckled dryly.
"We really do, don't we?" he sighed. "No one really knows what they're doing or who they are. How can you know someone else enough to truly love them when you don't even know yourself?"
"Exactly. You get it," you toasted your glass of water against his beer bottle. "it's too much effort for something that lasts so little."
"Not necessarily little," he suggested, "but never enough. You know, in movies, love is this big force of nature that draws two people towards each other so strongly… it's undeniable, unavoidable. Meant to be," he chuckled. "That feels so far away from anything I've ever experienced."
"Me too, if that's any comfort," you grimaced sympathetically. "Maybe we're just meant to be alone."
"Maybe. Anyway, that's grim," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine," you smiled. "Every time I talk about it with my friends, I get told I just haven't found the right person yet, and to keep on hoping and everything will magically be sunshine and rainbows," you fluttered your eyelashes cynically. "It's fun to know there's at least one more realistic person out there," you sent him a small smile, which he returned.
You both turned back to watch the movie, which was heading towards the end at this point. The handsome prince saves the brave princess. He's not really a prince, but, you know. Same difference; it's a fairytale, a legend.
Something no one can ever truly have.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Chris and you had developed a habit of calling each other on Mondays, since they were the worst, and you both needed to vent. You were in the middle of one of those calls when something he said made you abruptly stop making your dinner.
"How come I didn't know it was your birthday?" you asked, surprised, at his admission that his birthday was yesterday.  
"It never came up," he said. "Besides, it doesn't matter. The party's on Friday anyways, if you wanna come. You can bring some friends too, if you want. There's plenty of space."
"Yeah, okay," you smiled to yourself, "sure. Happy belated birthday, Chris."
"Thank you," he chuckled. "So you'll come?"
"Yeah, I'll be there, I guess," you sighed dramatically, prompting him to laugh.
"Great! See ya Friday," he said.
"See you."
After you hung up the call, you returned to your dinner, but not before texting your friends to invite them along. If you were getting on so nicely with Chris, you assumed the rest of his friends were nice people, so would in turn get along with your friends. Who were also nice people, obviously.
Or maybe, not so obviously.
There was an immediate flood of messages asking about who Chris is and how you met and if he's cute.
You ignored them in favor of finishing making your dinner, and only then sat down with your food and answered their questions, except for that last one.
He's a friend of mine I met not long ago, nice guy, you replied to the group chat.
And?? one of your friends texted.
And he invited me to this party he's throwing for his birthday, and told me I could bring friends, so now I'm inviting you guys. Hopefully, I won't regret that.
But is he cute???
I don't know, and I don't care. You know I'm not looking for anything right now!!
You're no fun. Fine, we'll come and see for ourselves ;P
You scoffed to yourself and continued to eat your dinner, unbothered. Maybe they should come, you mused, just to see that it's possible to make friends without dating them, like a sane adult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Happy birthday!" you exclaimed as Chris ushered you and your friends into his house. "I brought you a wine," you extended the bottle and he took it.
"Thank you!" he said loudly, to overpower the music that was playing. "Is it good?"
"How should I know? I didn't drink from it, it's your gift!" you joked. He laughed before giving you a one-armed hug and waving at your friends. "I'm gonna put this away," he pointed towards the kitchen, "But you should go to the living room, everyone's there."
You gave him a thumbs up and led your friends towards the living room.
"He even laughs at your bad jokes," your friend cooed in your ear, and you sighed and rolled your eyes.
"We're not a couple!" you reminded her.
"Maybe not yet, but I'm just saying you'd make a good one," she shrugged, a twinkle in her eye.
You ignored her, and continued walking. On your way to the living room, you did see a whole bunch of other people, but still, the party wasn't huge, especially compared to Chris' large house. There were no more than probably about 80 people there, not including yourself and your friends.
Pouring yourself a drink, you sat down next to your friends, who were already making small talk with another group, and joined the conversation.
Some time went by before the conversation turned to romance, and everyone started sharing funny stories about their significant others.
"What about you?" asked a woman from the other group. She seemed friendly, an easygoing smile on her face. "Everyone has a story to tell."
Before you could answer, one of your friends chimed in. "Oh, she doesn't do romance," she teased.
"Sounds mysterious," the woman laughed.
"Yep," you smiled, amused, "that's me. Dark, brooding, and mysterious."
As you were all laughing, Chris came down to sit next to you. "Having a good time?" he asked the group with a smile, a model host.
"Yeah," one of your friends answered, "we were just talking about how this one never dates anymore," she pointed at you, and you caught Chris' look, amused. "What do you think about that?" your friends asked, oblivious to the silent exchange.
"I think she should do whatever she wants to," he answered with a smile.
"Oh, don’t be diplomatic," she said, "don't you think she should find someone?" she pressed.
"I think she should do whatever she feels like," he persisted.
"Whatever," your friend rolled her eyes with a smile. "Every pot has a lid. Sooner or later, you'll find yours," she said, your words pointed at you now.
You were quiet for a brief moment before speaking up. "Oh, you're done talking about me like I'm not here. Sorry, you were saying?"
The entire group burst into laughter, and you caught Chris' gaze again.
Sorry, you mouthed, shrugging.
It's fine, he mouthed back with a small smile.
The urge to kill your friend subsided when you saw Chris didn't take her pestering too seriously.
For the rest of the night, you proceeded to have a good time, making conversation with a few other people and only running into Chris one more time.
"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, toasting his cup to yours.
"Yeah. You throw a great party," you smiled.
"I'm glad you think that," he returned your smile.
After that you returned to your friends, and a little while later you all decided to head home. You searched for Chris, thanked him for hosting the party and wished him a happy birthday, and went home.
"You're telling me there's nothing there?" your friend asked you on the ride home.
"There's nothing there," you sighed. "I don't know why you all want there to be."
"We just know what it's like being in love. And we want that for you. It's fun," she smiled.
"Parkour also sounds fun, that doesn't mean I can or am going to do it," you retorted. "You know what I think about being in love. Different people have different paths and abilities. I can be happy without a sweeping romance."
"I know, you're a strong independent woman and you don’t need no man," she rolled her eyes. "Just… don't close yourself off to the opportunity. That's all I'm saying."
"Okay," you shrugged.
Shortly after, she dropped you off, and you went to sleep, thinking nothing of the whole ordeal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She came by today.
When you got the text from Chris on Wednesday, you were puzzled for a few moments before you realized. His former fiancée. I mean, almost fiancée.
Shit
Is everything okay?
It only took him a couple of seconds to reply.
Yeah, I guess.
On an obviously unrelated note, wanna come drink?
You chuckled before texting him your ETA, quickly changing from the already rumpled clothes you had worn all day, and driving to his place.
You texted him when you were outside, and when you walked up to his door it was already opened, and he was waiting for you, a bottle of beer in hand.
"Aw, you drove yourself here?" he asked, before ushering you in, "I told you we should drink."
"Yeah," you chuckled, "but it's not like there's anyone I can ask to drive me on a random Wednesday. It's fine, you drink."
"But I don't wanna drink alone," he whined. "Can't you just spend the night then? I have a guest bedroom."
You opened your mouth to refuse, but then assessed it again. You were in pretty comfortable clothes, you were starting work a little later than usual tomorrow, and well… he needed a friend, and he asked you.
"Okay, fine," you chuckled, "gimmie one of those," you gestured at his beer.
He made a little celebratory motion with his hand before going and getting you another beer.
"So," you started as you took a swig of your beer, "how was your day?"
He let out a short, bitter laugh. "Great. Yeah, just… just great," he took a large gulp of his beer. You waited, giving him the space he needed to speak again. "She wanted to get back together, actually," he scoffed. You frowned, but still refrained from speaking.
"You know, I… I still have the ring," his voice broke and he cleared his throat. "I still have the ring because I wanted her to come back. But when she finally did I… I couldn't say yes to her. Because it's forever or nothing. And I don't think I'm meant to have a forever. Certainly not with someone who broke up with me anyways," he took another sip of his beer.
"If it's any comfort, I don't think there's such a thing as forever," you shrugged, and he looked at you quizzically. "I told you," you said, "all romance is momentary."
"Maybe that's true," he sighed again. "At any rate, I am now stuck with this ring, which is just… fantastic. Really awesome."
"Can't you bring it back to the shop?"
"Tried to. They won't take it back, say it's been too long for their return policy. That money's lost," he took another sip of beer.
"Well, you know, if it's lost anyways…" you smiled, "I think I have an idea of what to do with it. but first," you raised your beer in a toast, "we do need to be a little drunker for this."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few too many drinks later, you and Chris were stumbling in a park near his home.
"How do you know where we are?" he asked, before nearly tripping on his face, making you giggle as he managed to catch himself on a nearby tree.
"I've been here before," you explained, a little less drunk than he was but still positively buzzed. "It's really pretty."
"It is," he agreed, taking in the trees around you as you kept going. "It's also very isolated. Are you going to kill me?" he suddenly stopped in his tracks.
"No," your loud laugh rang through the park, breaking the silence of the night. "I'm not gonna kill you. Promise. Now c'mon, we're nearly there!" you beckoned him to follow you as you ran forward.
The rest of the way went by quickly, the both of you striding hurriedly, or as hurriedly as your inebriated minds would allow, engulfed in the comforting silence of the night. Finally, you got to a clearing with a large lake.
The crescent moon reflected in the water, and the lake was shimmering slightly as the wind disturbed it. The only sounds were those of your slightly labored breath, the soft trickling of the water, and the occasional flap of a bird's wings. The silence surrounded you, but it wasn't suffocating, it was as clear as the water in front of you.
It was finally broken when Chris spoke up again.
"You got me drunk so you could drown me in a lake?"
You burst into another fit of laughter. "First of all," you said in between giggles, "if anyone got anyone drunk it's you convincing me to drun- drink."
It was his turn to laugh at your mix-up. "Shut up," you said, slapping his arm lightly. "Now c'mon. You have the ring, right?"
"Yep," he said, fishing it out of his pocket. "But why did you want me to bring it?"
"Well, the fact I'm not gonna drown you in the lake doesn't mean we're not drowning anything."
"My ex-fiancée?" his mouth dropped open into an o shape.
"No!" you facepalmed. "The ring. You're gonna throw the ring in the river!"
"I am?"
"God, I'm starting to think I got you too drunk," you rolled your eyes. "Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna think about your relationship. You're gonna reminisce about everything, good and bad, and you're gonna put it in this ring. In your head, of course," you added before he could chime in.
"So I can let go," he nodded in understanding.
"Exactly," you smiled. "We don't need romance. Fuck romance. Fuck forever. You're better than that!"
"Amen!" he said, toasting an invisible glass in the air, making you laugh once more. It was probably the alcohol, but you hadn't laughed like this in a while. It was fun to laugh loudly, freeing. You wondered why you didn't do it more often.
"Alright!" you clapped your hands once, shaking from your thoughts. "Let's get this show on the road!"
You both stepped closer to the lake, and then Chris held out his hand in front of him, his palm open with the ring on it. He stared at it intently for a few moments, then his gaze snapped up to meet yours and he nodded shortly. You didn't speak, you just reached out and closed his fingers around the ring, before stepping aside and gesturing for him to go ahead. He stared at his fist for another moment before taking a swing and throwing the ring as far as he could. You held your breath until you heard the sound of the ring hitting the water, which made you release a breath full of awe.
"You did it," you said softly.
"I did it," he slowly repeated. "I did it!" he yelled out and you laughed in surprise. "I did it!" he yelled again, and in a few short strides he was next to you, picking you up and spinning you around in celebration.
"Put me down!" you shouted at him between fits of laughter, "Lunatic!"
He put you down, grinning widely. "I can't believe I just threw that ring into the lake. That was so stupid."
"It kinda was," you laughed, breathless.
"It was your idea!"
"I know! It's still stupid," you kept laughing, nearly doubling over. "Felt good though, didn’t it?"
"It really did," he let out a bewildered laugh. "Fuck. It really did," he said, and started laughing, which made you start laughing again, and before you knew it you were both laying on the grass, laughing until your cheeks hurt.
"My cheeks hurt," you pouted.
"Awww, I'm sorry," he drawled, reaching out to pinch your cheek, making you swat his hand away, glaring at him. He just giggled again, laying on his back and looking up to the sky.
You laid back as well, staring up.
"I wish I knew something about the stars," he said out of the blue.
"What do you wanna know?"
"Oh, just anything. I don't know jack shit about 'em."
"Well, I'm pretty sure that's Orion's Belt," you said, pointing up to a group of three stars. "So now you know that about the stars."
He said your name, making you turn your head to look at him. "You're a good friend," he smiled.
"You're a good friend too," you smiled back at him.
"No, I'm not. All I ever do is moan about my stupid ex."
"I'm sure she wasn't stupid," you reasoned.
"She was! She was stupid with two o's," he mumbled in disdain. You giggled at his words. "I'm not hung up on her," he continued. "I'm just… disillusioned. I thought she was the one. And now that she's gone… I don't know if there's gonna be a one. Which is sad. So I've been sad," he said matter-of-factly.
"I was sad too when I started thinking that," you whispered, sobering up a little. "But we don’t need 'a one', Chris. Romance is dead, but life goes on. We're on our own, but that doesn't mean we can't make the best of it."
"I spent so much of my life looking forward to spending the rest of my life with someone. And now that I realize that might not be the case… I guess I just realized that this is it. The rest of my life. I needed to throw that ring to make peace with that."
"Glad I could help," you gave him a half-smile, taking his hand in yours and giving it a small squeeze.
"Yeah," he returned a squeeze of his own, "me too."
"C'mon," you said, leaving his hand and getting up, before helping him to his feet as well. "We should get going."
You stumbled your way home, leaning on each other for some parts of the way. Sleepy and still a little buzzed, you finally got to his house, and he led you to the guest bedroom.
"Goodnight," he said, smiling.
"Goodnight," you whispered back, before he turned and walked up the stairs. You listened to him climb, and heard the sound of another set of footsteps, soft cooing coming from upstairs, and then heard the sound of a door closing.
Dodger, you thought with a smile, before closing your own door and plopping down on the bed.
In the last minutes of your wakefulness, you thought about how lucky dogs were.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, are you dating him?"
"No!" you said indignantly, "have you listened to a single word I said?"
"Oh, so you're just not putting a label on it? you're a little too old for those games if you ask me, but suit yourself," your friend shrugged.
"Come on! He's just a friend," you huffed.
"If that's what you wanna tell yourself," she smirked, but then her look became more sincere. "Look, I know you. I know that every time we talk about him, you're happy. Why can't you admit that you like him?"
"I do like him, as a person! I like all of my friends!"
"You're impossible," she rolled her eyes with an affectionate smile.
"You're impossible," you retorted weakly before smiling at her.
"You know we all just want you to be happy, right? That's all we want."
"I know," you said softly, "and I appreciate it. I really do. But I am happy, on my own."
"If that's the case, then I'm happy for you," she sighed. "I don't want you to feel like a third wheel, especially with Sarah's wedding coming up. You're the last of us who hasn't tied the knot yet."
"I'll be fine at Sarah's wedding," you rolled your eyes.
"I know, I know," she raised her hands in surrender, "But I'm just saying, I know you're anti-romance, but I also know you're not anti-company. Maybe you should bring Chris. As your friend, if you insist" she added when she saw you open your mouth to object. "Just, you know, everyone's coming with someone, and I don't want you to sit alone."
"I appreciate you looking out for me, I do, but seriously, I think you're underestimating my social skills. You do realize I can talk to people I don't know, right?"
"I know," she huffed. "Just… consider it, okay? For me?"
"I'll think about it, I guess," you shrugged.
You had no intention of following through on that. Except, well, it did come up when you were talking to Chris.
"What are you doing Friday?" he asked, his voice mechanical through the phone. "I thought we could finally see that movie you're always talking about."
"Nope, can't do Friday," you said, the phone pressed between your shoulder and your ear as you were folding your laundry.
"Aw, that's a shame. I was really looking forward to you finally shutting up about it," he teased, making you chuckle. "What're you doing Friday then?"
"First of all, if you'd listen to me and see it, you wouldn't wanna shut up about it either, because it's awesome. Second, I'm going to a friend's wedding. I'm gonna sit aside, drink some wine, and make fun of all the drunk couples."
"Sounds like a real fun night," he teased.
"Yeah," you said sarcastically. "I am really happy for her though. I know she wanted it for a long time," you said, sincere now.
"Hey, um, if you want, maybe I could come laugh at drunk couples with you? So you'll have some company," he offered.
"Oh, you don't have to," you dismissed it, "I know it sounds like a bummer, but really, I'll be fine."
"No, really. No one should have to sit alone at weddings," he said.
"Another friend of mine told me that as well."
"Well then, this friend of yours is smart. Believe me, as a veteran of many sit-alone weddings myself, I can confirm it's indeed a huge bummer."
"Fine," you chuckled, "I guess if you want to come so badly you may," you said, making him laugh.
"Great, text me the details?"
"Yep," you smiled. "Talk to you later?"
"Sure, bye!"
You hung up the phone to get up and start putting all your clothes into the closet. After you were done with that, you sent Sarah a text to let her know you will be bringing a plus one at the end, asking her if that'd be okay.
Is it Chris????
Yeah
Then it's fine!! :)))
You chuckled to yourself and kept putting away your clothes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~      
The night of the wedding, as a close friend of the bride's, you arrived at the venue a couple of hours beforehand, along with all of your friends. Chris came some time after guests started to arrive, and it didn't take you long to spot him in the crowds, looking a bit lost. You excused yourself quickly from the conversation you were in with some of the groom's friends and went to greet him.
"Hey!" you waved as you walked towards him, "Chris!"
Grinning when he saw you, he also began moving towards you, until you finally met in the middle.
"I'm glad you could make it," you smiled.
"I am too," he said, "seems like a nice wedding."
"Yeah. C'mon, you're just in time. They're gonna start the ceremony soon," you explained as you grabbed his arm and started leading him towards your seats.
"Oh-kay," he chuckled as you dragged him forward with surprising determination.
As you took your seats, you waved at your friends, and they freaked out over Chris being there, but you paid no mind to them, as Chris was leaning towards you, whispering, "You know, for someone who doesn't seem to enjoy romance, you sure do seem excited about this wedding."
"Well, I'm happy for Sarah. I've learned that me and my friends have a different outlook on that, and that's fine, it's useless to argue about it or whatever. I'm just happy she's gonna have what she wanted, even if I don't really believe in it."
"So how does that work? If you don't think romance is real and bring joy then how come you're happy your friend has it?"
"Chris, if one of my friends told me they found a way to adopt a unicorn, I'd be happy for them, no questions asked. Everyone should do what they feel like," you shrugged. "Now shhhh, they should be starting every minute now."
The ceremony was a beautiful one, and Sarah looked gorgeous in her white dress. As she walked down the aisle with a beaming smile, Chris' words echoed in your mind.
If you don't think romance is real and bring joy then how come you're happy your friend has it?
Despite your quick answer, you didn’t really know. The short answer was the one you told Chris, but the long one…
For the longest time, you believed romance just wasn't durable. Wasn't real. But maybe you just didn't believe that you can have that kind of romance? You just never really had someone to challenge your perception like that, because no one ever took it seriously, they just told you you'd find your person.
But that wasn't something you wanted to think about now, so you filled it away for later.
"It was a beautiful ceremony."
You and Chris were a little far out from the dancing crowd, somewhere a little quieter, but you could still see the dance floor from the bench you had found.
"Yeah, it was," you agreed with him.
"Not beautiful enough to make you cry, I guess?" he teased.
"Ha ha. I don't cry at weddings."
"I could've guessed that," he chuckled. "So what do you usually do at weddings? I mean, all your friends are married, so I'm assuming you've been to quite a few."
"What I'm doing right now. Sitting aside and drinking," you raised your glass in mock salute before taking a generous sip.
"Solid plan," he nodded slightly. "So you've never like, danced at weddings or anything?"
"No," you frowned, shaking your head slightly, "Why would I? I'm not a dancer, really.
"Well, how 'bout we go and change that?"
"Excuse me now?"
"I'm just saying, if you're really happy for your friend, maybe you should show her that. Enjoy yourself."
"I am enjoying myself," you deadpanned.
"Do what people are meant to do at weddings," he rolled his eyes.
"I thought you were here to silently judge everyone with me. Don't make me regret inviting you," you jokingly waved your finger at him as if you were telling him off.
"That's still the plan. We could just probably still do that on the dance floor," he shrugged. "Your call."
There was a short-lived silence before you sighed. "Fine. One dance," you warned.
Getting up, he offered his arm to you, which you took, and you made your way o the dance floor. You started dancing to the end of the upbeat song that was playing, but just then it changed into something a little slower, and people were pairing up.
"This is the money time," Chris winked, and offered you his hand. You took it, almost instinctively, and you started dancing to the song, his other hand on your waist while yours was on his shoulder.
"What do you mean money time?" you whispered.
"Okay. We're gonna turn around, and you're gonna look at the couple that's gonna be behind me," he said, turning the both of you around casually as you danced.
"Oh my god," you suppressed your laughter. "That's… I don't even know what to say. Are they even a couple or is he her da- oh nope, he just kissed her on the lips. God," you grimaced as Chris laughed at your expression. "I at least hope he's rich for her sake."
You both chuckled, and it was only a couple of moments later that you gasped with a smile. "Don't be obvious cause they're pretty close, but look at the couple to my right."
"Oh shit," he chuckled. "Remind me not to go to any secluded corner of this wedding. These two are probably this close to running off to do things I definitely wouldn't wanna see."
"Right?" you said, amused, "They're practically eye fucking. Have some decency!"
You both laughed again, and then Chris nodded his head subtly in another direction. "Look at those two."
They were a couple that wasn't dancing, they were sitting at a table close to the dancefloor, their foreheads touching, seemingly murmuring to each other.
"Betcha they're the kind of couple who does the whole 'no you hang up!' thing," Chris continued with an amused grin.
"Oh they so are!" you burst into laughter. "They probably share a single spaghetti from both ends."
"Lady and the Tramp style," you both said at the same time, prompting you to tear your eyes from the couple and look at each other, giggling.
You continued dancing through the next song, and the next one, and the one after that. For pretty much the rest of the night, you two danced together, continuing to invent silly stories about the people you saw, laughing at each other's cheesy anecdotes.
When it was getting late and the party was winding down, Chris offered you a ride home, since he hasn't drunk, and you gratefully accepted. You came here with your friends, and they were all probably staying longer, but you were getting a little sleepy, so you decided to call it a night.
"Let's just go say goodbye to Sarah," you said and he nodded, letting you lead the way.
"Hey, I'm getting pretty tired, so we're gonna leave. Congratulations," you smiled once you had gotten to the table the happy couple was sitting at. As Chris was shaking the husband's hand, you had bent down to wrap your arms around Sarah in a tight hug.
"So you admit you're a 'we' now? You and Chris?" she teased, whispering in your ear.
"We're not," you rolled your eyes.
"Whatever you say," she smiled knowingly. "Thank you for coming," she said louder once you let go of her.
"It was a pleasure, congratulations," Chris smiled at the both of them, and you all gave your goodbyes.
On the way back, you were already lulling into sleep in the passenger's seat, and Chris smiled to himself.
"Chris," you mumbled from your half-asleep state.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For coming with me today. You're right. Dancing with you is better than sitting alone."
"Wow, what a compliment," he drawled sarcastically.
"Yeah, don't let it get to your head buddy," you chuckled, before shifting around in your seat so your head was leaning on the window. "Can you wake me up when we get there?"
"Sure," he smiled, "Sweet dreams."
"Thanks," you yawned.
When you got to your house, Chris gently nudged your shoulder a few times to wake you up. You woke up, confused for a second, but quickly regained your composure and thanked him for the ride.
You went into the house, barely changing out of your dress before plopping down on the bed.
It was kind of weird, honestly. Usually, no matter how tired you were, you wouldn't manage to fall asleep in a car, or a plane. Even a bed that wasn't yours was sometimes harder to sleep in.
But you were in your own bed now, so you didn't have a lot of time to mull that over before you sunk into a deep sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey," Chris greeted over the phone one Monday.
"Hi! How's it going?" you smiled.
"Fine. I mean, actually, do you wanna come over?"
"Right now?" you frowned.
"I mean, why not? Have the Monday chat in person."
"Um, sure. Yeah, I'll be over in a bit," you said. Hanging up, you didn't think too much of his invitation. He sounded fine, and he said he was. He was probably just being nice.
Soon enough you were knocking at his front door. It opened to reveal a very excited Dodger pouncing on you, and you giggled as you crouched down to pet him. "Yeah, hi Dodger! How's the cutest boy doing?"
"Ouch," Chris joked from the doorstep.
"Hello to you too, I guess," you said dryly, but with a grin on your face.
You all went inside, and Dodger went straight to his bed, curling up. "Your knock woke him up," Chris explained, smiling at the sight.
"Oh, sorry," you gave him a small smile.
"It's fine. As you can see, he has no problem going right back to sleep," he chuckled.
"Yeah," you giggled. "Is everything okay? I mean, is there a reason you wanted me to come except to enjoy my magnificent presence?" you teased.
"Well, that was mostly it," he laughed, "but actually, I did want to talk to you about something. Wanna go outside?"
"Um, sure," you said, frowning slightly before forcing yourself to smile again.
You stepped outside into his garden, sitting in the big lawn chairs.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" you asked, turning your head to look at him.
"That's Orion's Belt, right?" he evaded, pointing at a group of stars in the night sky.
"I'm pretty sure it is," you shrugged.
For a moment, you were both quiet.
"I've changed my mind," Chris started. "This isn't the rest of my life. It's just my life."
"Okay," you said, not getting where he was going with this.
"You know, all these cheesy couples we made fun of at Sarah's wedding? I think they have it right."
"How come?"
"They realized that romance isn't about forever. It's about right here, right now. It’s in the little things. I've been so opposed to romance lately, and I was constantly thinking about how I wouldn't have a forever, so much so that I forgot what's going on now."
"And what's that?" you asked softly.
"Something much simpler than that. Happiness."
You stared at each other in silence, a slight frown still on your face.
"You make me happy," Chris admitted in a soft voice. "You make me really happy. And I don't want to lose your friendship, but I have to ask you this, because otherwise I don't think I'd forgive myself. Do you really not believe in romance? At all?"
"I don't know," you whispered. Clearing your throat, you continued a bit louder. "I don't believe in everyone's version of it. The happily ever after, forever. I don't need anyone to complete me either."
"There's always a middle road. Maybe not everyone has someone, and we don’t need romance, but that doesn't mean we're not allowed to want it. We shouldn't have to sit alone at weddings," he said sincerely. After a breath, he continued. "I'm not asking you for forever. I don't want to. But I want to ask you for now. And I don't think I'd complete you, just like you don't complete me. But you do make my life a whole lot better."
"Chris, you know I'm not looking for anything, I told you that when we met," you said weakly.
"I know. I also wasn't looking for anything. And yet I found… something. And I'd be a coward not to pursue it. We can make our own kind of romance; not a happily ever after, but a happy here and now. No big cheesy gestures, or unreasonable promises, just… being together. And that means I can't promise you it'll work, that it'll be perfect. Hell, it'll probably be messy, and hard, and mundane, at times, but that's how life is. But I can promise I'll try. And even if it doesn't work out, I'm willing to regret you for the rest of my life."
You thought back to every romantic relationship you've had. Every date you've been on. A lot of them were disappointing, but some of them were good.
None of them made you as happy as being with Chris did. Not one of your actual dates managed to top just hanging out with Chris. You didn't know why, but you felt safe with him, like you can be entirely yourself. You felt happy.
You didn't want to risk that. You didn't want to lose that. But what if taking this one risk would make it all that much better? You thought back to all of your friends, how happy they were with their significant other, how in love. What if putting your heart out on the line, for the first time in a long while, would make you happier than you had ever imagined?
Of course, it could also make you devastated. It could crush you. But that's the risk, isn't it?
There isn't any other person you'd rather take that leap with, you realized. In the few months you knew Chris, he already managed to become one of your favorite people in the entire world. You trusted him, cared about him, more than you'd let yourself realize up until now. And like he said, not exploring that would make you a coward. And you're not.
You took a deep breath. Chris gave you the time you needed, simply looking at you softly.
"I haven't dated anyone in a while. I might be rusty," you chuckled finally.
"I'm willing to take those odds," he smiled. "Is that a yes?"
"Yes," you nodded, a grin slowly making its way onto your face. "If there's anyone I would do this with, it's you," you admitted softly.
He grinned, getting up from his chair and extending his hand out to you, and you accepted. Gently, he pulled you up on your feet, using his momentum to bring you to stand closer to him and wrapping his other arm around your waist. Slowly, you two inched closer, until, finally, his lips were on yours.
There weren't fireworks, or butterflies. There was just this moment, right here, right now. No doubts, or hesitations, it was peaceful. It felt right.
This moment was all you could ever ask for. All you'd ever need.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You look so beautiful in the mornings," Chris murmured, burrowing his head into the crook of your neck.
"You too. Happy birthday," You whispered back, weaving your fingers into the hairs on the nape of his neck. He hummed in response, and you giggled, feeling it tickling your neck.
You laid there for a while more, just basking in each other's company. But when you looked at the clock, you started nudging Chris away from you. "We should get up," you said softly, "We have a party to prepare for."
"The party's not until the evening," he whined, "Stay in bed," he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you towards him.
You ended up leaving the bed at noon, eating a big lunch before tidying up for the party. A few minutes later, you slipped away, to set up your surprise.
"Hey Chris?" you called from the other room, "Can you just come over here for a second?"
"Coming!"
He entered to find you and Dodger in matching little party hats, and you were holding one out for him too.
"Wow!" he burst into laughter, putting the party hat on his head. "What's all this for?"
"I thought we should celebrate a little before the guests arrive," you shrugged. "And, you know, Dodger looks so cute in that little hat."
"He does," Chris cooed. "How did you manage to put it on him? He would never let me put anything."
"Well, he just likes me more," you smirked. Chris scoffed amusedly. "Okay fine," you rolled your eyes, "I may have bribed him with a treat."
Dodger's ears perked up at the word and you both laughed at the suddenly interested dog.
"I shouldn't have said that," you giggled.
"Probably," he agreed. "Thank you," you put his arm on the small of your back, nudging you closer to his side.
"You're welcome. Happy birthday," you smiled, tilting your head up to press a soft kiss to his lips. He cupped your cheek in his hand, deepening the kiss, but before it could get any further Dodger was barking and putting his front paws on the both of you.
"Yeah, yeah, don't get jealous. We love you too," you and Chris laughed, petting his head affectionately.
Honestly that day was a perfectly normal day for you and Chris. Being in love for the two of you didn't mean big highs and lows. You had your moments, but most of the time, it was just this peaceful bliss.
Later that night, the party was already in full swing. You and Chris separated from each other at some point, but you were making the rounds, so you knew sooner or later you'd meet up again.
In the small crowd, it was easy to spot your friends, sitting with the same group they did last year. You smiled to yourself, going up and greeting everyone warmly.
"How's everyone doing?" you asked, sitting down for a moment.
There was a chorus of "fine"s and "good"s before the conversation continued. You joined in, talking to your friends and catching up with the other group.
"Hey," Chris' voice was suddenly next to you. He came up and wrapped his arms around you from behind, talking softly next to your ear. "I'm gonna get myself another beer. You want anything as well?"
"Um, yeah. Can you bring me one too?"
"Sure," he smiled.
You tilted your head so you could reach and kiss his cheek, "Thanks."
As he walked away, you turned your attention back to the rest of the group, only to find them all looking at you with knowing grins.
"I thought you didn't do romance," said the woman you had spoken to last year, a teasing smile on her face.
"I didn't. I guess I changed my mind," you smiled softly, watching Chris’ back as he dissappeared into the kitchen.
Maybe romance wasn’t so bad after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
did you catch the three references? tell me:)) i hope you like it, and if you stuck through this entire story, thank you so so much for reading!! as always, i’d love to hear your thoughts, and remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself<3 happy chris day!!
special shoutout for @animnerd who gave me some motivation when i needed it<3 
Taglist:  @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies  @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash @imvivian
Chris & co. taglist: @patzammit
if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3
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peaceisadirtyword · 4 years ago
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Move On VII (Modern!Ivar/Reader)
A/N: Hello!🥰 It’s 2am and I can't sleep, I have a terrible headache and everything hurts (I’m getting my period this week lol) so I thought I’d try to finish the chapter and post it so I’d feel a bit more productive. I had a lot of deadlines and exams these past weeks because I finished some courses and started new ones. Now I have a week of holidays but I can't relax :( I’ve been sick too, so I barely had time to focus on writing. This chapter might suck, but I’d try to fix it with the next one (which if everything goes well I’ll post this week too!). There’s only three chapters left after this one, so at least try to enjoy it!💞 Thank you for all the comments and the messages🙏🏻 I’ll try to answer to all of them!
Warnings: angst, a bit of fluff, Ivar, talk of jealousy, mentions of harassment (this part is complicated, it’s nothing very detailed, but basically mentions of someone trying to flirt, making unwanted advances and putting a woman on an uncomfortable situation, don’t read that part if it triggers you, it was difficult to write and I can imagine it can be difficult to read💕)
Words: 3553
Move On Masterlist
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my boy Hvitty by @honestsycrets
For a moment, Ivar's face softened enough for you to let your guard down. He sighed and sat on your bed, running his hand through his hair. 
"You were with Freydis two days ago, right?"
You tensed up. Was it what you thought it was?
"Yes, we went to a club together... Well, not together, on the same group..."
"And..." he bit his lip "Y/N, did you see her kissing someone?" 
You sighed, sitting down next to him. You might wanted to hit him, yell at him and kick him out of your flat, but at the same time you didn't want him hurt. You didn't want him feeling what you were feeling. 
"Who told you?" 
"Hvitserk" he shrugged "It's true or not?" 
"Yes, Ivar" you said softly. Your hand touched his shoulder hesitantly, trying to give him some type of comfort without making him feel uncomfortable. Ivar wasn't one that liked physical contact with someone that wasn't his partner "I went to the bathroom because I didn't feel well" you muttered "And when I got out I saw her leaving the club with a guy, and they kissed" 
He nodded slowly. For a moment you thought he'd cry. 
"I'm sorry, I would have told you sooner but I..."
"I don't believe you" he moved abruptly to push your hand away, and turned to glare at you with his jaw clenched "I think you're making this up" 
You raised an eyebrow. The urge of slapping him came back stronger than ever. 
"What?"
"I think you're jealous" he narrowed his eyes "I think you're lying"
You gasped, shaking your head and rubbing your eyes. 
"Why would I lie to you, Ivar?" 
"Because you are in love with me" he stared at you with a serious face. He actually believed it "You want me to leave Freydis and go back to you"
You stood up, glaring at him and biting your tongue to hold yourself back from yelling a string of insults at him. 
"When have I ever lied to you?" you nearly trembled in rage. 
"I don't know, Y/N" he glared back at you "You tell me"
"Never" you spat "Never in my entire life I lied to you Ivar, and yes, I might be in love with you, I will always love you, and that's exactly why I would never even imagine to make up something like this to hurt you" the tears threatened to fall down your cheek but you refused to let them, he didn't deserve those tears "I would never hurt you in purpose, I'm not like you" 
He clenched his jaw again and looked away. 
"I'm tired of you treating me like shit, I don't deserve it" you shook your head "And I don't care how much I miss you, I'm not letting you come to my house to call me a liar, Ivar"
He rolled his eyes with an annoyed expression. You wondered why he even bothered to come and ask you if he didn't believe it. 
"I love Freydis, Y/N" 
"I know" you shrugged, your heart broke a bit more if it was even possible, but you managed to hide it. 
"And she loves me" he insisted "And she makes me feel special, and she made me realize that I am special" he shrugged "She wouldn't lie to me"
You took a deep breath, shaking your head. 
"You can believe whatever you want, I just told you what I saw"
"Fine" he rolled his eyes again "But don't go around telling everyone"
"So you don't believe me?" you asked softly. 
This time Ivar hesitated. He stared at you for a couple of seconds before frowning and looking down. 
"I don't know" he muttered "I'll talk to her" 
You nodded. He stood up with some difficulty, groaning and grabbing his leg with a grimace. You bit your lip and looked at him carefully. You didn't remember the last time his eyes were so blue, and his movements were much slower and accompanied with soft groans. But you chose not to say anything, he wasn't in the mood. 
"Ivar" you said softly when he was about to open the door. He didn't turn around, but he stood still "You said she makes you feel special... Did I ever make you feel like that?"
You didn't even know why you asked that. It was something that had been on your mind ever since he broke up with you, even if it wouldn't make a difference now, at least you'd know if he had felt something that was at least close to what you felt for him. If he had loved you, even if it was only once. Because that would mean you had been enough. 
Ivar hesitated. He stood there, with his head lowered and breathing heavily. Then he opened the door and left the room. 
When he reached the living room, he glared at Alfred again, who seemed relieved to see him leaving.
"The two of you can... Go back to whatever you were doing" he scoffed, but Alfred caught him clenching his jaw at the sight "She's good in bed, if you don't believe me ask my brother"
"I think you should leave, Ivar" he stayed still, not letting him see that he had bothered him. 
He rolled his eyes, but left the flat closing the door roughly. As soon as he had left, Alfred stood up and approached your bedroom. He knocked on the door, even if it was widely open. He heard you sniffing inside but waited patiently until you responded. 
"Yeah... Come in" 
You were sitting on the bed, drying your tears with the back of your hands. 
"Hey" he sat next to you as you took a deep breath. It was like going back to the beginning. Would it ever end? "Are you okay? What did he tell you? Want me to call someone?"
You shook your head. You weren't in the mood to see anyone else right now. 
"I'm sorry, this was a disaster again" you muttered, sniffing. 
"It's fine, it's not your fault" he caressed your arm softly "I really enjoyed dinner with you, let's ignore your ex barging into your house part" 
You giggled, rubbing your face and shaking your head. 
"We can... Eat dessert?" you shrugged "Try and fix this" 
"Sure" Alfred smiled "I think you could use a bit of chocolate"
________________________________________
For the first time in months, he didn't feel like seeing Freydis. Ivar was furious, and for the first time he couldn't really blame anyone but himself. He didn't really believed Hvitserk when he mentioned Freydis cheating, but he went to see you anyway. He wanted to hear that Hvitserk lied from you, because he trusted you.
But then you confirmed it, and he convinced himself you were just jealous and trying to break them up. But it wasn't like you. Besides, you had sex with his brother and were in the middle of a date (was it a date?) with Alfred. It seemed like you were trying to move on. 
Now he had doubts. Serious doubts. And he didn't really know how to deal with it. He never had this problem with you. Should he just ask her? Or maybe throw hints until she said something? 
Ivar yawned and rubbed his eyes. He was so tired he felt like passing out at any moment. Now he wasn't only in pain and stressed about Freydis' possible cheating, but he was also thinking about what you'd be doing with the fucking Alfred after that dinner. 
He didn't even know why he didn't answer your question. A simple 'yes' would have been enough, and maybe the two of you would feel better afterwards. Ivar missed you, and even if he was angry at you and Hvitserk for fucking, he thought he'd like to be friends with you again, when things had calmed down a bit. But after his own reaction seeing you move on with other people he wasn't sure he could do it.
"Ivar?" Freydis' sweet voice startled him. He heard the front door closing and her steps towards his bedroom. He had given her a spare key, and now he was regretting it. 
She opened the door without knocking, and her beautiful face lightened up when she saw him. 
"Hi..." He cleared his throat, his voice weak and tired. She pouted and frowned in worry, moving to kneel on the bed next to him.
"Are you feeling well? Do you need anything, my love?" she kissed his forehead softly. Ivar frowned and, for the first time during their relationship, he moved his head away. 
"I'm fine" he lied "Just tired" 
She caressed his face and he felt uncomfortable. Should he just...?
"Ivar" she muttered "You know you can tell me everything, right?" 
His eyes found hers again. Freydis didn't stop smiling even if she obviously noticed his cold demeanor. 
"I love you" she insisted "More than anyone else, you are the most special person I've ever met, and I'd do anything for you" she whispered into his ear "You know that, you know you're the most important person for me" 
Ivar nodded slowly. She told him ever single day how much she loved him. With words, whispering into his ear and giving him sweet kisses that clouded his mind. Freydis looked at him like he was the only man in the world. She would never betray him. 
"Yeah" he relaxed into her arms "I know"
_______________________________________
"Ivar, please, talk to me" you sighed, leaving your coat on the back of the couch with a sigh "What's wrong?"
You knew what was wrong, you had seen it on his face. But you were determined to make him talk, to make him tell you what was wrong so the two of you could talk about it and work it out. 
He kept scowling, looking away and clenching his jaw, and he sat on the couch and threw his crutch on the floor without looking at you. 
After nearly a month too busy to spend time with each other, Ivar had managed to get reservations for one of the most expensive restaurants in town. One of those you couldn't even imagine to glance at the door when you walked past it. It was incredibly hard to get a table in there, but the Lothbroks had contacts, and no one on his right mind would refuse a reservation to Ivar. 
You were so excited, and treated yourself to an entire day of self-care, with a relaxing bath, facial masks and shopping for new lingerie to spend the night with him after one of the most stressing months of your life. You wore a light blue, silk dress that felt soft and comfortable around your body. Ivar's eyes flashed when he saw you, and you couldn't stop smirking for a few minutes. You felt sexy, confident and desired, and couldn't wait to get home so you could enjoy his attention in a more intimate atmosphere. 
But Ivar wasn't the only one that appreciated your outfit. The waiter at the restaurant seemed to like it too, and he made it clear since the beginning. 
You had raised an eyebrow at the first comment, but smiled softly and thanked him when he called you "beautiful lady". Ivar didn't like it, and he glared at the man until he left. Ignoring your boyfriend, the waiter kept flirting with you, no matter how Ivar cut him off and interrupted him whenever he started talking to you. 
Until he had exploded. He practically threatened the waiter with a cold, calmed voice. It had scared you, as you knew he was unpredictable and could lose his temper very easily. 
During the ride back home, he hadn't said a word. Instead, he held your hand and kept you close. Until the two of you reached his flat and you couldn't stand it anymore. 
"Ivar" you insisted, sitting next to him "Are you angry at me?"
He looked at you briefly, and shrugged. 
"No" 
That relieved you. At least he didn't blame you. As a woman, you had to deal with that kind of situations during your entire life, and most times you got blamed, saying you dressed too 'provocative' and that men had instincts. It wasn't nice, it was actually very uncomfortable and you never knew what to say. You thought that if they saw you were with your boyfriend they wouldn't say anything, but apparently they didn't respect any of you. 
"I didn't..."
"It's not your fault, Y/N" he rolled his eyes "I'm just angry" 
"Then talk to me, tell me what's wrong" 
"A guy just spent an hour and a half flirting with you on my face, Y/N" he scoffed "He stared at you and kept flirting even if I was there with you" 
"I know" you sighed "I'm sorry, I didn't engage with him, I ignored him but he kept..."
"He did it because I can't walk, Y/N"
You raised an eyebrow. 
"I'm sure that wasn't the main reason"
"Not the main reason, the main reason is obvious" he growled, rubbing his eyes "But I can assure you, if you had been there with Ubbe or Hvitserk he wouldn't have done it" 
"Ivar..."
"You know it" 
"Ivar, you know I don't care about that" you sighed "We have this conversation every single day, and we will keep having it until you realize that I love you"
Ivar stood silent. Yes, you did tell him that constantly, but he couldn't help but wonder when you'd realize he wasn't worth it. 
"Hey" you insisted. He sighed and shook his head.
"Are you okay?" He turned to look at you "Do you need me to go back there with my brothers and kick his ass?" 
You giggled, shaking your head and moving closer to him. 
"No, I'm fine" you kissed his cheek "I'm sorry that idiot ruined our night" 
Ivar hummed as you pouted, leaning your head on his shoulder.
"We still have time to fix it" his eyes fixed on the dress you were wearing. It infuriated him, but he could understand why the guy at the restaurant was so obsessed with you. 
You smiled softly. He looked more relaxed, and he finally leant against your body.
"Y/N, can you promise me something?" 
You raised your head, frowning softly at him when he sounded too serious. 
"I... Think so?"
"If you ever feel attracted to someone else, if you feel like you're falling in love with someone else..."
"Ivar..."
"No, let me finish" he shook his head "Please tell me first"
"I don't think that will happen, but I promise I'll tell you" you pressed your forehead against his "I would never cheat on you, Ivar, and believe me when I say I can't even think about looking at other people" 
He understood that feeling. Ivar saw beautiful women everyday, he wasn't blind and he looked at them, but at the end of the day you were the only one he wanted. For him, you were the most beautiful person in the world. 
Ivar leant in to kiss you softly. You smiled against his lips and your arms went around his neck to pull him closer. The night might had started as a disaster, but the two of you intended to fix that.
________________________________________
"So you still intend to go to that wedding" Hvitserk raised an eyebrow when he saw the store you were leading him to "After everything that happened" 
You shrugged, biting your lip. 
"Torvi and Ubbe called to make sure I was going, and I still feel bad for talking to her like that..."
"Don't" he rolled his eyes "You were right, she's just excited because if you dated Alfred you'd join their club"
"What club?" you chuckled "I'm not going to date Alfred, or anyone, for a while. She knows that" you shrugged.
Hvitserk finished his cigarette and looked at the store again. 
"So you brought me to find a dress" he sighed "I thought you said you had a fun plan for today" 
"And what is better than shopping for clothes, Hvitty?" You giggled "Besides, I'm sure you need a suit too! Because you're coming, right?" 
You knew Hvitserk wasn't very excited about the wedding. He didn't really get along with Ubbe anymore, and Torvi had made very clear she didn't like him. But you couldn't attend without him. Hvitserk had became your rock, your main support and the only one that seemed to understand every single thing that went through your mind. 
"I don't know..." 
"Please" you pouted "Please, Hvitty, I need you there" you tilted your head. 
"You're going with Alfred, aren't you? Why do you need me there then?" 
"I can go with you too" you smiled softly "Or you can invite Thora" you winked "But please, don't leave me alone with them" 
He sighed, low-key enjoying the fact that you needed him there. He was going to go with you anyway, but he wanted to hear you begging a bit. 
"Okay" he shrugged "But if my family gets annoying, we're leaving" 
You nodded with a wide smile on your face and jumped to hug him tightly. Hvitserk couldn't help but smile and hug you back, turning his head to kiss your temple softly. 
"Was Ivar too harsh the other day?" he asked, on a more serious tone, as soon as the hug ended. He has wanted to kill his brother when he learnt (after Alfred called him and bitterly implied that he should control Ivar better) that he had practically bursted into your flat.
Your expression changed, and your smile faded. Hvitserk felt a bit guilty, but he truly wanted to know. 
"No" you shrugged "He was... Ivar, he said I was making things up because I was jealous, and then proceeded to explain to me that he loved Freydis, and that she makes him feel special and yeah" you rolled your eyes, walking to the store.
"She just knows what he wants to hear" Hvitserk shook his head, opening the door so you could step into the store "She inflates his ego, that's all, it's not love, its manipulation"
"Maybe she does love him" you sighed, shaking your head "They seemed to be much closer than we were"
"Maybe" he shrugged "I just know my brother was in love with you, but now I barely recognize him" 
You opened your mouth to say something, but a woman approached you with a wide smile. 
"Hello! Can I help you?" 
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"I'd pick that one" Hvitserk had put his head inside the changing room, making you jump and look at him through the mirror. 
"Do you think so? I liked the red one"
He raised an eyebrow.
"You always wear red"
You bit your lip. He was right, you always wore red. Maybe because it was Ivar's favorite color, because you liked the way he looked at you when he saw you dressed in red. How he'd smile and kiss you deeply before whispering into your ear how beautiful you looked. 
Maybe because you liked it.
"I know what you're thinking" Hvitserk shook his head entering the changing room and closing the door. He didn't seem to care about the warning the woman had given him earlier "Your eyes lighten up and you get that enamored expression and yeah, I know what you're thinking"
"I don't know what you're talking about" you smiled with an innocent expression.
Hvitserk rolled hie eyes.
"You look pretty in red, we all agree on that, but this one" he pointed at the dress you were trying "You look like a fucking goddess with this one, you could come and break my heart with this on and I'd thank you" 
You giggled, shaking your head. The silk dress was black and tight around your body, but width under your hips. It had a split that exposed your right leg, and it was truly beautiful. Hvitserk chose it, and even if you felt a bit awkward, you kind of liked it.
"Maybe I'll take this one" you muttered, caressing the soft fabric. 
"It would be rude to look better than the bride" he winked at you. 
"Shut up" you laughed "You're too sweet, Hvitty, I wish I was in love with you" 
He smiled softly at you. 
"I wish I was in love with you too, you're like my soulmate" 
"Maybe we are soulmates" you turned to look at him with a smirk "But friend soulmates" 
"I agree" he winked at you again. You were used to Hvitserk's flirty tone, and this time you wished you could feel something more than friendly love for him. Things would be much easier if you had fallen in love with him.
"Thank you, Hvitty" you pouted. You took his hands and looked at him "You're helping me so much and you're my best friend, and you didn't have to cope with me and my breakdowns" 
He shook his head with a smile and moved to hug you again. You relaxed against his body. 
"You're literally the sweetest person in the world, Y/N" he muttered "Now, I'm going to get out before that woman thinks we're fucking and calls the police"
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Going Back Home
Summary: Claire never thought she would be back in the town she grew up in. But after her fiancé broke off their engagement, leaving her 5 months pregnant and alone she found herself calling Frankie Morales in the middle of the night, one of her childhood friends who insisted that she booked the next flight out. Trying to fix her life with a little help from her friends she would find out soon that going back would be the best decision she ever made.
Pairing: Frankie Morales x Claire Beck
wordcount: 3.1k
Warnings: more or less unplanned pregnancy, break up, mentions of sexual encounters
A/N: I am a weak weak person so here it is, a chaptered fic. I will try to update this weekly, but no promises. Rating will go up later. I'm attempting slow burn. Let's see how slow lol Let me know what you think. Reblogs are, as always, appreciated 💙
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Even Though most of her happiest memories were connected with this town, the town she spent most of her life in, Claire never thought she actually would be back here. And certainly not pregnant and all by herself.
It wasn’t that she had been unhappy here. Claire just always wanted something… bigger. Something more. Something exciting. After her parents died and most of her friends moved away, there was nothing holding her back. Well, that wasn’t true. Frankie and Santiago were there. But only when they weren’t overseas or god knows where, which left her with her dream of being a journalist in a small town where she had no chance to ever make it.
She still remembered Santi’s face when she announced that it was her turn to leave just before they were about to be gone for months again. She had gotten a job in New York and thought for days about what to do until she took the job. That was eight years ago and they hadn’t seen each other in person since then.
Yet when she called Frankie three days ago in tears, it was like no time had passed. She wanted to call Santiago first, but she knew him. If she had told him what happened to her he would have gotten into his car and gotten to her, no matter if it took 3 straight days. No, she had called Frankie. He had listened to her for hours until he made her promise to book the next flight out.
When the fuck did her life become such a shit show?
Only a week ago, she had the dream job, was engaged and 5 months pregnant.
Claire was happy. Until her fiance came back from a work trip and suddenly announced that he wanted nothing to do with the child and moved out within days, leaving her on her own. Not even his phone number was working and she wasn’t gonna show up at his work. She wasn’t that desperate. She should have seen it coming. John never planned to have kids. But when Clarie found out that she was pregnant he had already asked her to marry him and maybe he was too proud to end the engagement back then. Thinking back maybe this was the reason he stayed. Because a part of him wanted to spend his life with her. They didn’t fight. He just moved out, told her that he would take care financially of her and the child, but that he didn’t want to be a father.
The first days she was just numb. Trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with, left her while she was pregnant with a child they didn’t plan but that she loved without a doubt. That was what kept her going. Her little bean. Claire would do anything to protect her little girl.
The guys to this day called her bean. She found herself thinking more of them since John left. Even without seeing them in the last years, they still stayed in contact. Not a week went by where she didn’t receive a letter. They had a group chat that was only used when they were at home and the bachelor was on. Cause fuck did they all hate that show but they watched it anyways.
Claire was okay with the whole suddenly being on her own thing, until she felt her baby move for the first time and turned in her bed to wake her fiance, finding the side empty and cold. For one tiny moment, she had forgotten that she was alone in a city where she had only a couple of friends who were his friends rather than hers. She had always had a hard time finding friends. That probably wouldn’t change.
Sucking her bottom lip in, she rested one hand on her belly as she waited for her luggage to arrive. She slept almost through the entire flight. Claire had gotten rid of the last eight years of her life in the last 48 hours. She wanted to start fresh. She needed a fresh start. Even if she had no idea how to deal with all of this on her own.
A woman next to her helped her get her suitcases on the cart, noticing that Claire was on her own. Pushing the cart through security she saw Frankie as soon as the door opened and next to him Ben, Will and Santiago who all smiled at her, while she felt the first tears escaping her eyes.
She had met Ben and Will only a couple times, they were living an hour away, but they became part of the group immediately. Once upon a time her childhood best friend, Leah, was in that group too. Claire hadn’t thought of Leah in a long time. She had died in a car accident almost 12 years ago.
Arms pulled her in a warm embrace and even after years of not seeing each other for such a long time, she still noticed Frankie’s scent.
“We got you,” he whispered, kissing her hair. She sobbed once before she was pulled into Santi’s arms.
“Look at you,” he smiled before he looked down at her belly.
“And look at you?” he smiled and leaned down.
“Hello, this is your favorite Uncle speaking,” he winked, bending down to speak directly to her belly, making her chuckle.
“Oh please, we all know I’m gonna be the favorite, hey bean,” Will hugged her.
“Don’t listen to them baby girl, we know they're all gonna spoil you rotten,” she grinned, letting Ben kiss her cheek.
“So you’re staying?” Frankie asked and you nodded.
“I already called some realtors. I wanna get this over as quickly as possible. Already sold everything back in New York,” Claire said, looking at the two men who formed most of her teenage years.
“Okay. Let’s get you out of this airport first. You okay to stay with Frankie? He has the biggest house,” Santiago asked, pushing the cart as you slowly walked towards the exit with Ben’s arm around her shoulder.
“Uh… I don’t wanna impose. I could just take a room…”
“Fuck no. Stay at my place. It’s my Pa’s old ranch. I’m renovating it.”
“What? No way!” she said surprised but Frankie only nodded.
“Yeah after Liz and South America I needed something to keep me busy. Also needed more space for Elena,” he explained. A small smile sneaked to Claire’s face.
“I still can’t believe you’re a dad Frankie.”
“Can’t believe you gonna be a mom. Fuck we’re really adults now, huh?” he winked and Claire sighed.
“Certainly didn’t plan it that way. Or planned it at all,” she said sadly before she shook her head as if to get rid of the sad thoughts clouding her mind.
“I meant it, Claire. We got you. We are bored most times anyways.”
“Hey speak for yourself, Fish. I got a business,” Santi said.
“Yeah. Yeah. Me too. But after work you’re either drunk or after some pussy so?” Ben grinned, making her chuckle.
“So still no ladies in your life, boys?” Claire asked as they reached what definitely was Frankie’s truck. It had his company name on it. “Morales gardening”
“Nope. But now that you’re here we could finally….” Will started only for Claire to look away in disgust, making them all laugh.
“You ready to become a Daddy, Will?” she asked, her hands both on her belly.
“Uhm… of course?” he answered and she chuckled.
“That’s what I thought,” she patted his cheek.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed. You must be exhausted,” Frankie said and opened the door for her.
“We’ll see you tomorrow for the BBQ,” they all waved. She waved back, letting Frankie help her inside before he closed the door behind her and hopped into the driver’s seat.
“BBQ?” she asked.
“Can’t blame the folks from wanting to welcome you, bean,” he winked.
“What folks?”
“Ya know. Folks. You gonna see,” he looked at Claire. He felt better now that she was here. Frankie had missed her these last years, the couple of calls throughout hadn’t nearly been enough. And when she called two days ago in tears… He would have gotten the chopper and flown over but he couldn’t risk it. He had to be on good behaviour to be able to keep seeing his daughter.
“I missed you, Francisco,” she whispered.
“Missed you too, Bean.”
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The sun was already setting when Frankie drove down a familiar path. Claire had spent countless days on this ranch when she was younger.
“How is your Dad doing?” she asked softly and Frankie sighed as he killed the engine in front of the house.
“I fucking hate that I can’t take care of him on my own, but he’s hanging in there.”
“I’d like to visit him if you’re okay with that,” she reached over squeezing his hand and he looked at her with a small smile.
“I bet he would love that.”
“And I’m sure he would have wanted it this way, Francisco. You know your dad. He wouldn’t have wanted you to drop everything for him. Don’t be too hard on yourself,” she said quietly.
“Damn I really missed you Bean,” he shook his head.
“Missed you too,” she let her head fall against his shoulder.
Claire didn’t really have eyes for the house, all she wanted was to go to sleep.
“I finished the guest room this morning for you,” Frankie said, setting one of her suitcases down as he opened the door.
“Please tell me you didn’t work overnight to finish this,” she sighed looking at him. He was rubbing the back of his head, pulling the cap he was always wearing down and avoiding her eyes.
Knowingly she shook her head, but couldn’t help the smile sneaking to her face.
“I won’t say it. But please don’t touch the walls, they might still be wet,” he said and she chuckled.
“Okay. Bathroom is over there. The shower isn’t working yet but you’re welcome to use mine. Will is coming over to take a look and make this one work. Other than that if you need anything just ask. Until you found a place this is your home.”
“You really didn’t have to do this, Frankie,” she said quietly, feeling overwhelmed by all of this. So many things had changed in such a short amount of time for her and she only now seemed to realize that she was indeed about to be a single mom.
“I wanted to. You’re… You don’t deserve to be treated like this. So let us help you, okay?” he said softly and she nodded but avoided his eyes.
“Okay. Go to sleep. My room is down the hallway if you need anything,” he stepped closer, kissing her forehead and for one tiny moment, she felt like the 15 year old teenager again who was crushing on Frankie Morales.
“Good night, Francisco,” she smiled.
“Good night, bean,” he whispered before he turned around and closed the door behind him.
Claire looked around, in awe of the room, the bed looking so inviting to her. Sighing she walked over to the window, knowing she would be able to see the whole property during the day. Crossing her arms in front of her she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of nature that she had no idea she had missed living in the city for all these years. She felt a fluttering in her belly, her hand wandering down to feel a kick.
“We’ll be happy here, I promise,” she vowed, rubbing over her belly.
She didn’t want to disturb Frankie, even though she could hear the TV running so she just washed herself at the sink before she put her Pajamas on and sat down on the bed. She would unpack tomorrow. For now she had to sleep.
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The sun wasn’t even up when Claire woke up. She turned in bed, propping herself up so she could look out the window and watch the sunrise. She had to make a plan. A plan that included finding a house, a doctor and help. Though help would be her smallest problem. She already looked at houses in the area and it didn’t look good. If she had more time she would buy the house just down this road, but there was no way the house would be ready before her due date. She would ask Santi for help. He had a lot of connections through his business. Though Frankie too. Claire knew that he had a little gardening company since he lost his pilot’s license. He never really talked about it, but then again, they didn’t talk that much. She knew that he had some problems with drugs in the past, but that he has been clean for almost two years and was doing better. She also knew that there was a lot more to this story then he had told her. Maybe they would have time to talk. To really talk. Groaning to herself, her quiet and peaceful morning was interrupted by her bladder. Time to start the day.
For a minute she wondered if she could risk sneaking into Frankie’s room to take a shower when she heard music playing. Grabbing her bathrobe and toiletries she opened the door and walked down. Now being really awake she had time to take in the house. It seemed like there still was a lot to do. The walls were still unpainted, the floors still old, though she could see he already started with the floor the closer she got to the kitchen.
Frankie was sitting at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee in front of him as the radio quietly played in the background. He had a serious case of bed hair and she smiled to herself. He hadn’t noticed her yet and she found herself thinking back to all the times she had thought that maybe there was something more in between them than friendship. And maybe there was at one point a long time ago. But that was before he joined the military. She might be selfish for it, but she couldn’t be in a relationship where her partner was gone all the time. She needed someone to be there. Even Though there had been times in the past she had found herself asking if maybe she should have risked it.
Instead she had slept with Santiago.
Yeah, that was a big fuck up. Well it was also a pretty good fuck but it was just once and they definitely were better off as friends. She still didn’t know if Frankie knew. Not that she had to explain herself. Frankie always knew what effect he had on the women around him, and he sure as hell took advantage of it. And now she felt nothing more than love for him. As a friend, nothing more.
“Good Morning,” she said quietly and Frankie turned his head, yawning at her.
Chuckling she walked over taking in the kitchen, setting her toiletries down.
“You weren’t kidding when you say you were still renovating,” she sat down next to him. He got up from his seat walking over to fix her a mug of tea.
“Still hooked on Strawberry tea, I hope?” he asked and she nodded, surprised that he remembered.
“Yeah. Though the kitchen and living room are supposed to be finished by the end of next week. So sorry for the noise in the next couple days,” he walked over and set down the mug of tea in front of her.
“Hey it’s your house. I’m just thankful you let me stay.”
“Of course. Couldn’t let you stay in the dumpster motel in this town,” he winked. She took a sip of the tea and it was perfect.
“So what are you planning for today?” he asked.
“I probably should start looking into houses. I’m kind of on a timetable here,” she rested one hand on her belly and Frankie followed her movement.
“Yeah. I think Pope already called someone for some houses. It’s not looking good.”
“Yeah I thought so. Everything I found on the internet was in really bad shape,” she sighed.
“It’s gonna work out. And if you don’t find something, you’re welcome to stay. The place is big enough,” he shrugged and Claire laughed quietly.
“Yeah I bet you can’t wait to live with a hormonal pregnant woman and then with a newborn,” she joked.
“I lived with Pope. Nothing can be worse and…”
“And?” she asked.
“I already lived with a hormonal pregnant woman. It’s not that bad,” he shrugged with a small smile. She looked at him with a small smile on her face.
“You say that now. Wait till I’m craving your mug cake at 3am now that I’m living with you,” she joked. Frankie laughed.
“Wow I haven’t had one of those in at least 10 years.”
“Well then it’s about time.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, looking at Claire. She looked more relaxed today, like she had a good night’s sleep and he was thankful he put in an overnight to finish the guest room for her. She deserved to relax. When she told him that she not only was pregnant but dumped by her fiance Frankie was furious, yet at the same time he already decided that he would take care of her and help her with everything she needed. It was the least he could do.
Even though they grew apart in the last years, she still was one of his best friends.
“Okay. I’m gonna go take a shower. I got to drive out to check on a project. You gonna be okay here for a while?” Frankie asked. Claire nodded, grabbing her mug of tea.
“Just tell me when you’re going out so I can take a shower,” she said.
“Thank you, Frankie,” she whispered when she stopped next to him and softly kissed his cheek, before she walked down the hallway. Frankie looked after her with a soft smile before he got up to get ready to head out.
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meryamthebadassbitch · 3 years ago
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𝕯𝖎𝖔𝖗 𝖘𝖆𝖚𝖛𝖆𝖌𝖊 & 𝖈𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖘// 𝖆 𝕵𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝕵𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖐𝖔𝖔𝖐 𝖋𝖚𝖑𝖑 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞
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Listen, bitch, is it fucking bad that I am addicted to 'Daddy Issues by the neighbourhood suddenly got a whole ass fanfic idea on my mind, so here fucking I am, thank you so much for the likes in my other disgusting fanfics and if you would like to share this one with your friend I would be happy since my mother told me if you have more than 55 likes on the next, I'll buy you a BTS t-shirt, I'm NOT FORCING YOU GUYS LOL, thank you and enjoy! oh, I'm planning on writing a Levi book on Wattpad tell me your opinion @meryamchaline45
Based on a song called: Daddy Issues
Warning: Blood, smoking, sexual harassment, daddy issues, mention of death, slight smut, harassment, Thief!Reader, Skategirl!Reader, abuse, abusive parents, parents cheating, ANGST, swearing!!
abusive parents, parents cheating, ANGST!!
(IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF, DON'T READ!! don't report this please you have been warned)
Munching the food quietly she thought of nothing but how Seoul looked beautiful at night, a small scoff escaped her lips as she paid for the delicious food, looking at her wallet sighing, no money left. Taking her skateboard she stole a cap and a mask on her way out her E/C eyes immediately wide at the sound of the cashier yelling at her with a bat in his hand about to catch, slamming the door open she ran down the stairs not looking back, the cold breeze hitting her face as she ran grabbing her skateboard she skated between the cars so the man wouldn't catch her.
Her father grabbed her harshly by the hair followed by her skateboard and bag in the other hand, throwing her out of the house in the middle of the streets, every neighbor not even daring to welcome her even though they could see the pain and fear in her E/C eyes, but worst of all they still dared to watch and film her out of the window, I know it must be rough? damn, right it is.
Jungkook was hanging out with his group as usual and it seems like they got out of the café, but stopped brutally upon noticing cops chasing a H/C haired girl and grabbed her, slamming her face harshly against the car in front of them, a wince left the girls lips as she raised her hand in the air as she yelled out some words "it's a water bottle, please !" but the cops didn't seem to care since they cuffed her and decided to take her with them, as they turned around the girl cold eyes met Jungkook's dark brown ones, and that was his opportunity to study her face, she had beautiful H/C hair which was pretty messy, S/C skin, and had blood running down her nose and a cut on the corner of her soft lips, and it seems like she got into a fight for what? a bottle of water.
Watching the scene happening in front of them he stared as one of the cops broke her skateboard in half earning a bloody scream from her. "NO! how dare you!" she yelled with rage in her eyes as she was about to attack the police officer and punch the hell out of him but couldn't since the handcuffs stopped her from doing so but still the girl fell on her knees trying so hard to grab hold of the broken skateboard.
Sitting in front of the police officer she stared into nothing but emptiness; blinking ever so slightly her throat dry and didn't even dare to ask for water, "can I leave?" she asked her voice cracking as she sat on the chair, wanting to just kill herself. Grabbing her bag, phone, and broken skateboard she walked out of the police station to the place where she usually slept, the park.
Surprisingly she got a job the next day, and that is selling some street food with an old woman, the job got pretty handy, well, at least she would have 10$ to eat something and have a single water bottle for the day and not die from hunger, packing some dumplings in the small box she grabbed one of the bags signaling to the women "I'll go take these and will be right back Ajumma?" a small smile was on her lips as she walked away holding the hot food in her hand, the aged women seemed to be caring for her and would always give her some money even though she was poor and more broke than Y/N was, but still considered her as her daughter.
Knocking at one of the doors, she could hear the sound of music blasting and laughter, smiling at the memory of her being the best dancer back at school she opened the door peaking inside, the sight of a group of boys she recognized when getting arrested she handed the pink-haired boy the bag, "Jimin-ah~ you pay this time!" said a brown-haired boy behind him with a boxy smile, Jimin slightly rolled his eyes before smiling brightly at the girl taking his wallet out, a Gucci wallet which looked expensive, not like she wanted to steal it but these boys must be rich.
Bowing one last time, she walked away making sure to thank them and have a good day, "Ajumma, no I can't take them anymore what about you, you need your medicine so keep them besides I'll be okay for one day?" she said pushing them gently with a small smile, nodded Ajumma defeated but still thanked the girl a 100 times. "it was nice working with you, Ajumma, but I think I should go to either Busan or Daegu, I can't stay here anymore or dad will find me and- you know? so I'm gonna need you to go right now to the pharmacy and buy that medicine, we worked so hard for that now go!" she said pushing her gently toward the pharmacy with a small smile, pulling her into one last hug she kissed her forehead before walking away, waving slightly one last time before continuing her 'travel' in search of some way to escape Seoul before her father takes her back once again.
Sitting beside the boy she took his cigarette from his hand throwing it on the ocean in front of her, as he was about to grab another one she threw the box on the water, "so, do you want me to teach you that this mother fucker is a killer?" she said chuckling slightly at how he hated her already for throwing his precious addiction, "anyways, I need your help?" she said out of the blue, Jungkook raised his eyebrow waiting for her to continue her words "we all know you're rich as fuck, and I need you to buy me tickets to Daegu?" listening slightly to her words he took a picture of the couple kissing inside a laundromat with his camera, nodding slowly she almost squealed but stopped upon hearing his next words "in one condition?" "and that is ?" "I'll help you sneak inside my ex-house and go inside her room, to the drawer and there will be my clothes" "fine, when?" she said agreeing with his plan.
Standing in front of his ex house, she nodded at him before starting to climb the windows and could hear the sound of him talking to that girl more like flirting, looking at the window she could see them making out on the couch she had, opening the room window she did as told opening the drawer and grabbing all his stuff, a ripped book, AirPods, music DVDs and laptop looking at the polaroid with Jungkook smiling she stuffed it inside her pocket before looking at the room one last time.
Walking down the empty road beside Jungkook she handed him her bag full of his stuff, "you give it back tomorrow, you know where to find me? stay cool." she said smiling while flicking him off, the maknae staring at the girl with a small smile, this was her way on how to say goodbye or goodnight, the boy slowly waved back taking his keys from his pocket, opening the door of the black mansion greeting his mother on the way who seemed to smile sheepishly at him "who's the girl?" "mom I just met her" Jungkook looked so done as he stared at his mother dumbfounded
Opening the wagon door she ruffled her H/C hair after doing her routine, jumping down the wagon, she closed the door making sure to lock it with padlock, walking down the road she hid behind the wall watching as the man turned around running she grabbed a croissant, hiding it inside her jacket, thank god, he didn't notice and no one seemed to be out yet this neighborhood was always empty. the girl didn't have anything to think of but only the fact that this month was rough, she would eat once a day or not for a week, the asshole of the policeman broke her skateboard her mother got her before passing away and now she's a very famous thief in Seoul, what a beautiful life?
Nah, she always thought of giving up and standing at the edge of one of these buildings surrounding her, letting her body fall and join her mother. but couldn't, she didn't want to die and also promised her mother. Cursing under her breath Y/N limped to the front door of the beautiful black mansion, the door was suddenly slammed open and a woman stood there with wide eyes full of worry, glancing at the H/C haired leg Jungkook's mother immediately pulled her in sitting the girl down, the girl on the other side was shocked 'is this the wrong house? no, I remember JK saying this is his house' she thought confused but could see him coming out of a room holding a box, the boy slowly sat in front of her and started treating her wound out of as she sat there defeated and stared at him, his black curly hair looked so soft and his perfume was just UGH ravishing.
The food in front of her immediately got her attention as she started eating fastly, Jungkook mom laughing slightly at the girl "how many days didn't you eat something delicious?" "2 months, but don't worry- I only ate ramen 2 days ago!" she said munching slightly, Jungkook could see how her E/C eyes showed hope and slight happiness whenever she's eating, the girl was shining slightly than the last time he saw her, she was about to attack a police officer for breaking her skateboard and next was her handing a bag of dumpling to Jimin.
Sitting in front of the pool they had, she slowly took Jungkook's lighter from her pocket she found back in his ex house, playing with it she wrapped his sweater around her waist to great some heat, it was freezing but she needed to clear her mind a little bit, she was thankful of them, they gave her food, treated her wounds, gave her warm comfy clothes and welcomed her to stay with them...
And how much the girl wanted to kiss their hands for that, they made her feel safe after 8 years of the trauma and problematic life she finally felt home. The sound of someone walking behind made her stop from playing with the fire, wiping her head behind she smiled slightly at Jungkook who held a blanket sitting beside her putting the cover around both their bodies suggesting for her to get closer and not be afraid.
The handsome boy slowly handed her the phone back, it was midnight, thanking him she opened her phone, 1 notification, that's odd. Frowning she looked at the boy asking whenever to do it or not, nodding at her she tapped on the notification, her dad.
-------------------------------- 𝘼𝙨𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 🖕-------------------------------
Happy birthday Darling, you turned 19, don't worry you're still my little girl right?
Fuck you.
Dad.
Seen 00:00
Just before he could even answer her text, she blocked him and deleted his number feeling calm and free, clenching the blanket around her hand she looked away trying not to let her tears fall, not wanting to show her weak side in front of Jungkook who seemed to know the situation and reason why she was cold and wants to run away. His anger was boiling, how dare a dad do this to his daughter? tomorrow was his final day alive he swore to make him pay for what he has done to his daughter. "it's your birthday?" he asked waiting for her to answer the question or at least look at him, 'why am I feeling empty when she's like that?' he thought nudging her shoulder, nodding she looked at him straight in the eyes tears covered her orbs as she stared at him deeply, her walls breaking down as she finally let them fall after staying strong for years.
살아남아야 한다."~Namjoon BTS (방탄소년단) 화양연화
Jungkook stared at her with guilt in his eyes pulling her into his embrace the girl cried quietly in his chest letting it all out. Not even noticing she fell asleep in his arms.
Holding the notebook in her hand, she knocked on the door of his room, hearing a groan behind the door she opened it looking at Jungkook who was fixing his hair, giving him a poker face she closed the door behind looking around his room, "shit, this place is fire" "I know right?!" he said on the other side trying to tie his hair into a ponytail, chuckling slightly she walked toward him standing on her tiptoe, "give it to me" doing as told he handed her the tie, her fingers slowly trailed down his hair sending a shiver down his spine at how cold her hands are, but a small smirk raised on the corner of his lips as his playboy self started showing Jungkook suddenly turned around before she could even finish his hair, landing on top of her his leg between hers as their faces were inches away from each other, his bunny smile on his face as he innocently grinned at her as if nothing happened.
Her eyes were dull and numb, but they lit upon seeing his beautiful smile
Having an amazing plan, she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer as she leaned in, her nose bumping his, with Jungkook staring at her parted lips not pulling away and liking the way how she pulled him closer, his lips so soft that she wanted to kiss them so badly but couldn't, twirling him around it was now her turn to smirk, she was on top of him grinning innocently while ruffling his black hair
"come on, time for dinner"
Walking down the streets of Seoul while listening to some music, she slowly walked into one of the cafes that lined up the street of Seoul. Pushing the door open the little bell at the door jingled when she walked in and the scent of coffee hit her like a truck, this café wasn't crowded and it was one of her favorites, for these past days both the teenagers got closer day by day and still couldn't open up to him yet, it was so hard. and it would be a terrible lie if she doesn't catch feelings for him. "hello, can I get an iced-americano please?" she said looking at the cashier taking out the money from her pocket she slammed it on the counter before making her way toward one of the tables, playing with the flannel shirt she burrowed from Jungkook the girl waited for her order, phone ringing she slowly answered the call
"Hello? are you fucking kidding me what has he done?!" yelled the girl hanging up, slamming the door open the girl ran down the streets
Jungkook on the other side drove in rage toward where her 'father' worked, sitting down on one of the chairs his feet tapping on the ground nervously as he glared at the ground, a man came toward him with a smirk on his face, Breathless with anger, he stood up and immediately punched the man square in the jaw he didn't care about anything at the
moment but to just make him pay for what he did to his daughter.
Dashing down the streets pushing past the people, everyone at first thought that flash just passed by them while it was just a girl running with panic in her eyes, walking inside the police station the H/C haired girl immediately pulling the boy into a hug, tears covering her E/C eyes, as she pushed the strand of hair from his face staring lovingly at him she cupped his cheek looking for any injury. Sighing she glared sharply at her father "you deserved it" she said spitting in his face one last time before walking out of the police station asking Jungkook if he was okay, driving back home in silence the girl thought 'why did he do that?'
Sitting him down she grabbed the first aid kit and some alcohol, it was now her turn to help him, "this will hurt, so grab my hand" sitting down in front of him Y/N gently pressed the cotton on the huge bruise he had in his hand not caring the fact he's hurting her hand due to the pain he felt, "I'm so sorry" she said out of nowhere not even glancing at him, wrapping the bandage around his bruised hand she tried to ignore how bad she wanted to hug him by trying to get up but Jungkook already beat her to it, with one simple fucking move. Cupping her cheek the boy pulled her back down and made her face him stopping her from moving, his hand pressing on her cheeks as his soft fingers caressed her ear sending a shiver down her spine, her legs suddenly became weak as she stared back into his doe eyes, his gorgeous orbs shining under the moonlight like a diamond in the center of a museum was everything for her
His Dior Sauvage perfume only made it worse, it was her favorite scent aside from coffee, she felt giddy and happy whenever she sees him and just want to squeeze him tight and never let go. but now it was her whole body burning like fire
"Y/N please, tell me what is going on and I promise I'll help you with anything?" he said looking at her E/C eyes back and forth still holding her cheek butterflies dancing on her stomach as she stayed silent not wanting to ruin this moment with her fucked up past, she was about to pull him into a kiss, the same feeling kicked in, she just wanted to feel his lips on hers for few seconds was is a hard thing to ask? the sound of the door slamming open made them snap out of their position and fall on the ground.
"dude..."
There stood the boys staring at them awkwardly, coughing she got up wiping her clothes from any dust making her way to her room "wait, Y/N you promised me!" "I'm sorry Tae but I don't feel like playing..." "no, you're coming now sit down" rolling her eyes annoyingly she walked back down and sat on the ground waiting for the boys to follow her movement. Watching as the bottle spun in front of her, the girl breathing hitched upon seeing the green bottle landing on her, slightly panicking she shot a look that could make the bravest of warriors scream in terror, but Tae who didn't seem to care, challenged her "Truth or dare?" "Truth" "what were you both doing when we came in?" "talking duh." her simple sarcastic answer only annoyed Tae more than he was and that made her smirk proudly 'i'm not falling for one of those plans, Taehyung' she thought raising an eyebrow at the boy who smirked back at her "then why the sexual tension, and you about to kiss him?" grin fading and eyebrow falling she stared coldly at the boy his blood running cold at the look the girl just sent him "i-i take that back" stuttered the boy still feeling her staring straight into his soul, the game continued but surprisingly it didn't land on her anymore.
Sitting on her bed, she pushed the blanket away from her cold body, opening the door slightly trying not to make a noise as possible, making sure to close it behind her before she made her way toward Jungkook's room knocking 3 times. Jungkook jolted up from his bed at the thought of Y/N and immediately ran to open the door, he was right, there she was standing slightly shivering from the cold but before he could even protest to give her something to warm up or say anything, she already pulled him toward the Kitchen, opening the fridge she slowly grabbed hold of ice cream box and two spoons, sitting beside him she stared at the clock ticking in front of her "wanna know why I always throw your cigarettes whenever I see you holding one?" she said glancing at the boy who already stared at her continuing her words "because my mother was so addicted to this fucker, sure, it revealed her stress but it also made her sick, we would always go to the rooftop and talk about anything that comes to our mind, that was until he decided to cheat on her out of nowhere and started going to clubs, she didn't find out by herself, but I did, I told her in our usual ted talk we had at night while watching the stars flicker, surprisingly my mom didn't seem to care since she already noticed his sudden behavior, so being a good mother she wanted divorce and when she told him I told her about the whole thing, of me coming home from school and seeing a bitch on top off him, he started doing it to her. Days passed and mom got weaker day by day and everything was becoming worse as she started smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, and I don't want to lose you too after losing my own mother" she said scoffing a little bit at the memory flashing on her mind tears covering her E/C eyes.
Jungkook on the other side listened carefully and couldn't help but to intertwine his fingers with hers, and could feel her tensed up and her hand becoming warmer and not the usual coldness, looking at her he smiled happily at the sight of her looking at the moon through the balcony with a small blush on her cheek, as he was about to pull away afraid of hurting her she grabbed his hand back planting a gentle kiss on his veiny fingers and on top of the smiley face tattoo he had.
What are they?
A couple, close friends, just friends (pack it up, Adrien). She didn't understand why is the constant hand grabbing? cupping cheeks, the almost kiss in his room, He was so kind towards her and being his usual, bad boy self in front of the others?
Why would he like her anyway? she always thought of that which only broke her more remembering the fact she's going to run away and live in Busan and not stay with him anymore, her life was so confusing, should she stay with him or move away?
"Wanna know something?" asked the boy glancing at the girl who nodded at his question "you're living with me from now on, and this is the reason why," he said pulling her toward him by the hand, picking her up easily placing her in front of him and on top of the counter, with her staring directly into his eyes and his hand on both her side, the boy gently cupped her cheek. Heat rose from Y/N's stomach to her chest and behind her back. Jungkook's lips were getting closer and her heart decided to skip a beat, she could tell he heard it since the same bad-boy smirk came back on the corner of his lips. parting her lips she felt him washing over like a wave of warmth, curling her toes, unfurling all her senses as the taste of him nearly silenced all thoughts. The boys silently watched the scene happening in front of them Jimin and Taehyung taking pictures on the other side
the feel of his frame leaning on hers as his arms wrapped around her felt nearly forbidden. He pulled her in, claiming her mouth again, hungry and intense, until her knees gave in. Sure, she was a famous thief but in moments like these she's so nervous, he was her first kiss, what if it's bad?!. Her thoughts were stopped dead when his lips were gently pressed against hers, not knowing what to do she scooted closer toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck following the steps she remembered seeing in kdramas, he puts his hand on the back of her head and reassuringly strokes her H/C hair.
Heaven.
Pulling away gently the girl chuckled "you stole my first kiss-" "-and I'll do it again" he said cutting her off again with his lips on hers, a passionate and heated kiss made her melt in his arms, it was illegal for him to make her fall in love with him more with one simple fucking move. the next movement she made drove him crazy was the way her fingers played on his curly black hair, Picking her up his hand slid under her thigh, as he walked toward her room not breaking the kiss, closing the door behind them with his foot.
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Jungkook's head rested on top of hers as he played with her H/C hair, "I never told you this, but do you know how much the Dior Sauvage & cigarette scent drove me crazy whenever I smell it on the outfits, I borrowed from you?" "oh yeah? new kink developed I guess" "yeah, I guess it's my kink," she said glancing lovingly at the boy in front of her, his fingers slowly pushed the strand of hair from her face as he smiled back at her, his fingers under her chin as he pulled her into a kiss.
"I'm in love with you girl with Dior Sauvage kink, Y/N L/N "
"and I'm in love with you too cigarette addicted bad boy, Jeon Jungkook"
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fatiguing-thoughts · 4 years ago
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“Fate” - Paul Lahote
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Request: The reader (shy!fem!reader) meets Paul (twilight) in the woods while he is in wolf form and he imprints on her. Coz the reader is shy and has no friends (lol) she befriends the 'wolf'. So when they have been friends for a while Paul finally transforms into his human form and explains everything and then fluff? Thank you 😊❤️
The crunching of leaves. That’s all I can hear now. I continued walking forward, loving the noise and the smell of the pine trees around me. 
This was my daily routine now, for the last week. The woods were always my safe place, where I went to clear my head. It’s where I always spent my free time, my time for my personal thoughts.  
I had just moved to Forks about three week ago, I came from Oregon. I wanted to be closer to the Olympic National Forest, and for some reason, it just called to me. It called to be my new home. 
I spent the first couple of weeks unpacking and settling, but the newfound freedom and time to explore the great forests around my small town were beyond enticing. 
The loneliness was setting in, pushing me to go into the woods more and more. Even though I was still lonely out here, it was much better than being alone in the house. I missed my family and friends, but living here was something that just felt like I was doing something… right. 
The loneliness out here wasn’t as deafening than in my small home. I felt better surrounded by trees, listening to the sounds of nature, or the lack of normal everyday sound; it was music to my ears. 
As I pressed forward, I found the new clearing I chose the other day. This one a little bigger than the last, more calming to me. 
I put my blanket down, played some soothing music; a beautiful composition. I took out my sketchbook, drawing my surroundings. 
That’s when I heard the grass shift across the clearing. The leaves crunching, a shift in the atmosphere. The feeling washed over me, I was no longer alone. 
I felt my breath hitch as I tore my eyes away from the sketchbook, looking across the clearing. 
I saw a wolf. An enormous wolf. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve seen wolves, and they’re not anywhere near the size of this. I wouldn’t even come up to the shoulder on this one, it had to be about 6 feet tall on all fours. This couldn’t be real.
I blink hard, but when I open my eyes, it doesn’t go away, my sight was not deceiving me. 
That’s when it happened, our eyes connected. I couldn’t break the eye contact, neither did the massive creature. 
The wind got knocked out of me, I felt something in me shift. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t fear. 
No, fear was the last thing from my mind. What I felt was peace. I couldn’t imagine why I felt so at peace with a creature that could kill me faster than I could blink, but it’s all I felt. 
I broke the eye contact away, hoping that I didn’t make the situation worse and frighten the wolf. 
It walks a bit closer, head low. I still feel that feeling, the feeling of someone sitting on my chest-- but in the best way. 
“Jesus.” I mutter as it moves closer. 
The paws were easily the size of my head, thumping along the path to me. I felt the ground move as it got closer. 
A look of curiosity and caution painted the enormous face, eyes never tearing from mine. 
“Holy shit.” I mutter again.
It stops in its tracks, about five feet from me, looking at me as if it was asking for permission to approach closer. 
I gulp and swallow the lump in my throat. The sense of peace and calm is still radiating through my body. I stood up from my spot, feeling as if it was the best thing to do at this moment. 
The wolf nods its head towards me, in which I nod back. 
It walks closer before bowing its head, eyes still looking into mine. I see my reflection in the iris. Its eyes were that of a beautiful chocolate brown. I admire the rest of the wolf up close, noticing all of the different grey and silver tones in its beautiful fur. I cautiously reach my hand out, knuckles out, offering it to smell me before I even thought about petting it. 
As I outstretch my hand, I feel the enormous head under my palm. I begin to graze my fingertips along the top of its head, daring to dance my fingertips upon the center top of its snout. 
Its ears laid back against the massive head, leaning more weight into my touch. The fur was so soft, I found myself growing more and more comfortable with the presence of this being. I was way too close now, I lost all sense of caution. 
I smiled at the wolf as I returned the eye contact. It moved even closer, standing against my side. I laid my head upon the side of where its shoulder began. I never felt so small before. I felt a little grumble come from the wolf’s chest before it backed up, and laid down next to my blanket. I plopped myself back down. 
I caught the wolf’s eyes wandering over to my drawing of the clearing. 
“You like art or something?” I chuckled softly, knowing how silly it may seem to be talking to this wolf, though deep down I felt we had some kind of understanding.
The wolf nodded, before placing its head on my leg. The head was heavier than I imagined, but I enjoyed it. It was a soothing weight. The nod must have been coincidental, I tell myself. 
I then begin to scratch behind its ears, and laying the rest of my body down, head still on the front of my thigh. 
“This is the best, well only, company I’ve had in a month.” I smile to myself, once again trying to converse with the creature. 
I heard a large huff of air and felt the warmth on my thigh grow, the breath passing through my jeans.  
I check the time on my phone, seeing that it was later than I thought. The wolf and I sat here for hours, though they passed quickly. 
“I should leave now, sunset is approaching. I gotta get out of here before dark. After all, who knows what’s in here.” I chuckle as I begin to sit up, getting my things together into my backpack. 
The wolf looks at me, puffs again, and almost seems to roll its eyes. I could’ve sworn it looked just like it did. 
As I begin walking, I notice the wolf walking beside me. 
“Ah, walking me to my car? A gentleman, I see.” I laugh softly to myself. 
As we approach the end of the forest, the beginning of the treeline and my parked car in sight, the wolf looks down at me. 
I return the eye contact, and scratch behind the ear again, earning the leaning of the massive head into my hand. 
“This is an everyday thing for me. Same place tomorrow.” I say laughing at how ridiculous I sound. 
I earn another nod from the wolf and can’t help but feel that it truly understands what I’m saying. 
I walk over to my car, the distance between the wolf and I growing. I felt empty as the space grew, a newer feeling. I walked over to my car and looked back to see the wolf standing where I left it. 
I wave goodbye, earning a nod from the massive being. I get into my car and watch it run away, faster than I’ve seen anything move. 
The drive home was quick, as it mostly consisted of replaying the days events. 
I knew for certain that I was either insane or blessed. 
Sleeping tonight came easier than ever before. No nightmares, though the eyes of the beautiful creature filled my dreams that night. 
I woke up the next morning feeling at ease, but also if something was missing. I was almost counting down the minutes until I got to go back to my little clearing. Hopefully doing some work will make the day pass faster. 
I ferociously finish my work for the day, hoping that it would make time pass. Though my mind continuously wanders back to yesterday. 
Was it even real?
What if the creature didn’t show up today? Would I just have imagined the understanding that I thought we had? Was the connection just an imagination? 
No, I know what I saw. I am not insane, I am not making any of this up. 
As the agonizing hours passed, I sat and drew. I found myself drawing the eyes of the creature.  They were all I could see all day. 
I look over at the clock and basically spring off of my couch, grabbing my keys and backpack to head back out to the woods. 
I walk over into the clearing and sit in my previous spot on the blanket. This time I had some snacks with me, as I didn’t eat today from being so distracted. 
I began to peel my orange when I heard the snapping of a branch behind me. I took a sip of my water as I turned to look at what was behind me. 
The deep, chestnut brown eyes looking down at me. I felt such a connection to this wolf, I felt safe. 
It then moves next to where I sat, laying down once more. 
I place my orange down back onto the brown paper bag.
“Blueberries?” I outstretch my hand with a few berries in it, offering it to the creature. 
His snout found my hand, hot breath finding its way into my palm. The rough tongue and soft scraping of teeth against my palm as it took the berries from my hand.
I smile before getting some more, offering again. The wolf once again took the food from my hand. 
I truly enjoyed the company, though it did confuse me more than anything. I couldn’t describe the connection I felt to this magical being, but it was there. 
I began to make some small talk to the wolf, though I know I would not get a response. 
“You’re my first and only friend, bud. I moved here a little less than a month ago. Still unsure of what brought me here, but I think things are starting to add up. I just miss having people around, ya know?” I look over to the creature, noticing that their eyes never left my face. 
The wolf nods, putting his head back into my leg and nuzzling into me. I scratch behind their ears. 
“Anyway, I left Oregon to come here. I miss my friends and family, but I think I’ll be happier here. So far, I’m loving the new scenery. I used to spend a lot of time in the woods back there, it’s where I have my personal thoughts, where I unwind. Now that I’m here, I already have a buddy so soon. I always did it alone, but here you are. Even though you can’t talk, I enjoy your company.” I spoke softly to the being. 
Its eyes never broke from mine, just like always. 
“Your eyes are magnificent.” I softly chuckled. 
The wolf nuzzles closer to me, and I lay down on my blanket. 
This is how I spent my days now. This continued for weeks. Getting closer to this beautiful creature, befriending the most beautiful being that ever existed on the planet. 
Until one day, when I showed up to the clearing at the usual time. My new friend nowhere in sight. 
I sat down in our usual spot, waiting for the arrival of the creature. 
I waited for about ten minutes before I finally heard the relieving crunching of twigs and leaves behind me. 
“It’s about time you showed up, I got worried.” I bit back my smile. 
The wolf had a telling look in its eyes today, almost nervous. 
I scratched behind the large ear, once again being leaned into. I grew to really love this. 
As soon as I sat down, I noticed the wolf didn’t follow suit as per usual. 
It looked me in the eyes, nodding its head to the treeline. My eyes followed as the wolf walked behind the brush. 
I stood up, but didn’t follow the being out of the clearing. I watched from the treeline as it disappeared just out of view. 
Then I heard it. 
The shifting of bones. The brush disturbed from movement. 
I back up cautiously. 
A moment later, a tall, muscular man walks out of the tree line. 
I back up a bit out of surprise. I observed him in his entirety. His cutoff jean shorts, t-shirt, and beat up old shoes. Beautiful russet skin, cropped black hair, and... deep chestnut brown eyes. 
Those eyes. The ones that engulfed me into a state of peace with every look. I would recognize those eyes in a sea of people. 
The tall man smiles at me, walking closer. 
I don’t back up this time, confused yet comforted by the look in his eyes. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, I was drawn to him. 
“(Y/N), it’s me.” The man says. 
“How do you know my name?” I question. 
“Well, you told me a few weeks ago. Well, my other form.” He chuckles. 
“Okay, maybe I am nuts.” I laugh softly. 
“No, you’re not. Well, after listening to you for weeks, you might be. But, I have a lot of explaining to do. I’m Paul by the way.” He chuckles. 
“Hi Paul.”
We walk over to my blanket and he sits with me. 
“So, I guess I’ll explain to you what I am.” He says, slightly smirking at me. 
“I think you should, I’m very confused right now.” I smile back. 
“Well, I’m what you would call a shapeshifter. I shift into a wolf. You met me in that form.” His chestnut brown eyes peering into my soul, pleading for my attention. 
“But how? Why?” I manage to speak. 
“Well, we’re not the only magical beings. But it’s a Quileute legend, well clearly a lot more than a legend… I’m a protector of the land and people. But these are tribal secrets.” He says, still never breaking eye contact. 
“Protector? From what?” I was now concerned. 
“Well, vampires.” He answered, laughing at how crazy it sounds to say out loud, to explain to an outsider. 
“Vampires are real? And they’re here?” I ask, slightly getting fearful. 
“Yes. There’s been some coming into the area for some, not for anything good. There’s a coven here, though they’re what you call ‘good ones,’ only feeding off animals instead of humans.” He explains. 
“Wow, this is insane. But, how did you find me?” 
“Well, one of the other members of the pack picked up your scent, as well as one of the vampires we were looking for. So we took turns watching to make sure they didn’t hunt you. Which by the way, you should not be spending so much time in the woods alone. Have you ever heard of bears? Or murderers? Have you learned anything from horror movies?” He laughed. 
“Yes. I have. But it’s just, it’s what feels right for me.” I admitted. 
“I understand. You seem like one with nature.” He laughs.
“So you guys protected me?” I jump back a step.
“Yeah, well we took turns while the others went other places.” 
“Oh, so why did you stay for weeks? And why did you hang out with me?” “Well, when it was my turn, something happened. And then I couldn’t leave you. I needed to be the one who watched over you. I wanted to get to know you, I wanted to meet you. We connected.” 
“I know, I felt that. I feel like I’ve known you for ages. But what happened? How are we connected? Why do I get to know the tribal secrets?” I asked, I needed to understand. 
“Well, you’ve taken this so well. So there’s this thing. It’s called imprinting.” He finally looks down at his hands. 
“Imprinting?” I question.
He looks back into my eyes. 
“Well, it’s kinda like soulmates. Like love at first sight, almost. Although, it doesn’t have to be romantic. It’s kind of like-- when it happens, whoever a wolf imprints on, becomes the world. There is no gravity, it’s them holding you down to the Earth. You would do anything, be anything for them. A brother, a protector, a lover. It’s super intense, but it happens to some of us. And well, you’re my imprint.” 
I looked at him and nodded. I was trying to take this all in, it all made sense as to why I felt so strongly connected. Why I felt so at peace, why I loved being so close. 
“Listen, I know it’s a lot to take in. I understand. But just know that it is dangerous for us to be apart. It’ll hurt us both-- emotionally, physically, mentally. However, you hold the reins here.” He gave me a soft smile. 
“This is a lot. You’re right. But, I feel so connected to you. I wanna be around you, I love being around you. I’m so glad you’re actually a real person. However, I do want to take this slow. I want to get to know you as a person, not just the wolf. I want to meet the real you. I want to expand the friendship before any kind of romantic relationship blossoms too fast.” I say honestly. 
“That sounds like a great idea. Maybe you can come to the bonfire at La Push tonight. I think it’ll help you understand more. Plus then you’ll meet the rest of the pack. We could work on the friends thing, too.” He smiles from ear to ear, probably excited at the mention of a romantic relationship. 
We talked for hours, more about us personally than the imprinting thing, wolf thing, or vampire thing-- we saved that for the bonfire. 
The bonfire went well. I met the whole pack. A lot of banter and rough housing between the guys, especially when the imprint jokes came around. 
I took a liking to Leah, though she was rough on the outside I felt that we would be great friends. 
Over the next few weeks, Paul and I spent almost all our free time together. Things were great. Of course the friends thing didn’t last too long, how could I not want to have this amazing man as my partner? He was caring, sweet, protective, and even handsomer than anyone else I had ever seen. Our relationship was one purer than anything I could’ve ever imagined. 
Getting closer to the pack was great, I always had friends around. I loved Emily and helping her cook for the bottomless pit-stomached boys. It was like I was meant to be around, I guess that’s fate for you. 
Most of all, I cherished every moment I had with Paul. Stealing hoodies and having more fun than I’ve ever had before. 
I loved Paul Lahote more than I could put into words. No words were needed. 
This was happiness, this was pure bliss. 
We spent our days on hikes, fooling around and rough housing at the beach, and doing whatever we could do together. 
He whispered sweet-nothings into my ear at any given chance, causing me to smile, blushing like a maniac. His warm hugs and cuddles, sleeping next to him only brought me peaceful sleep I desired my entire life. 
Fate truly is something. 
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Word Count: 3280
Yes this was long. No I’m not sorry. Yes I enjoyed it. Might have been a swift transition, but it’s super long and idc. Thank you for coming folks 
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