#lokius bromance
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lailyn · 2 years ago
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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Loki (TV 2021), Doctor Strange (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Loki/Stephen Strange, Loki & Mobius M. Mobius Characters: Loki (Marvel), Mobius M. Mobius, Stephen Strange, Casey (Loki TV) Additional Tags: Drama, Angst, Developing Relationship, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Dark, Sick Loki (Marvel), Hurt Loki (Marvel) Summary:
Embarking on missions to track down errant Loki Variants is a dangerous endeavour, one that has landed Loki in the care of Doctor Strange, TVA's very own medical expert, time and time again.
To say that their engagement got off to a rocky start would be an understatement.
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villainboygirl · 1 year ago
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What I love in this scene is Loki's reaction.
I thought that Loki would be impressed by Mobius' rage, or that he would be amused. Or that he would immediately start torturing Brad as soon as Mobius got out of the cell.
But no: Loki was stunned by Mobius' reaction.
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So, at first, he took steps to stop Mobius before he went too far and escorted him away safely.
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Then he followed Mobius to make sure he was okay, asking him over and over without using aggressive tones, despite Mobius trying to downplay it.
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Loki saw that Mobius was trying to hide how shaken he was, so he suggested to eat a slice of pie to reassure him down.
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Without pressure, he calmed him down until Mobius was ready to open.
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And then he reassured him gently.
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This shows how much Loki has changed: instead of being overwhelmed by anger and the desire for revenge, he put the well-being of Mobius, a person dear to him, first, without hiding the concern and affection he feels for him. And Mobius, in return, demonstrated that he placed full trust in Loki, expressing his innermost emotions to him.
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loki-for-hire · 1 year ago
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I try to remain neutral in all debates... but Lokius > Sylki
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lumintsu · 1 year ago
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lowkey am hyped to see the reaction to loki s2 finale no matter the outcome. lokius canon? unlikely, but will rejoice. lokius not canon? I'm gonna love watching the breakdowns
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woulddieforloki · 2 years ago
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WAIT I JUST REALIZED THERE ARE THREE LOKIS IN THE TRAILER ONE LOKI FOR MOBIUS ONE LOKI FOR SYLVIE ONE LOKI TO FIFTH WHEEL AND ONLY FEEL SLIGHTLY BITTER BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS THOUGHT ROMANCE WAS OVERRATED ANYWAY MULTISHIPPERS RISE. IT IS OUR TIME.
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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 months ago
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Five Fics Friday: April 19/24
Happy Friday everyone! Check out today's selection of fics to get you through the weekend! And be sure to give the boosted fic some extra love, as it JUST finished being written! :D Enjoy!!
SIGNAL BOOSTING
The Curious Case of the Casablanca Killer by meet_me_in_samarra (G, 55,886 w., 16 Ch. || Post THoB, Case Fic, Bromance / Friendship, Clever John, John is a Conductor of Light, BAMF John / Sherlock, Sassy John, Cheeky Sherlock) – Deemed a three at best, the case of an invisible burglar in a historic cinema who stole nothing only caught Sherlock’s attention because he was bored. Also, he wanted to do John a favour. In the end, this proved to be a real stroke of luck. Otherwise, Sherlock would have missed an intriguing mystery that quickly ramped up in complexity.
RECENT MFLs
Licence to Kiss by fellshish (T, 13,740 w., 4 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Bond Jokes, Angst and Humour, First Kiss, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining) – John loves James Bond. For his Birthday, Sherlock decides to organise a spy adventure. Sherlock begs Mycroft for a real case with some extra gadgets. And perhaps some actors pretending to be criminals. What could possibly go wrong?
Guess Who's Coming for Christmas Dinner by Raina_at (E, 18,623+ w., 2/4 Ch. || WiP || University AU || Fake / Pretend Relationship, Accidental Fake Dating, , Oblivious John / Sherlock, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Christmas, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Alcohol, Past Drug Use, Not-Nice Holmes Family) – Sherlock hates spending Christmas with his snobby parents. John has nowhere to go over the holidays. The heat in 221B is broken and their fridge is empty. Plus, Sherlock's parents will hate John. So of course Sherlock takes John along. It's not his fault that his parents assume John's his boyfriend. Of course John is perfect and all, but Sherlock doesn't do romance. So what harm can there be in pretending, if it makes his parents this mad?
Only Yesterday by Berty (T, 43,378+ w., 17/18 Ch. || Alternate Timelines / 'Yesterday' AU || Post-TRF, POV John, Grief, Mental Instability, Angst, Unrequited Love, Suspense, Scotland, Hurt John, Developing Relationship, Doctor John, John is a Mess) – Sherlock has been gone for two years and John Watson is doing okay. He goes to work. He sleeps (sometimes). He eats. He has colleagues, some of whom are even friends. He has purpose. If it's not a life as others might view it, it's a fair approximation. It's fine. He's fine. One night the lights go out and when they come back on everything is the same except for one important thing. For John it's the most important thing. And suddenly John is not fine at all.
RECENTLY BOOKMARKED LOKIUS FICS
Magic Like You by Anonymous (NR [M], 9,714 w., 5 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Post-S2, Light Angst, Soft, Friends to Lovers, Jotunn Loki, Pining Loki, Heavy Pining, Bed Sharing, Jealous Loki, POV Loki, Living Together, First Kiss/Time) – Loki and Mobius are trying to carve out a new life for themselves after all the chaos and hurt and destruction that was caused by the TVA. This story explores Loki's new life and his relationship to Mobius through magic. (With lots of stupid fun and soft moments along the way, because with these two, it's inevitable.)
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kastrullhaj · 1 year ago
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lokius rant
What angers me so much about the probably queerbaiting Lokius chemistry displayed in the series is how it would have seemed if it had been a heteronormative presenting pair. Imagine, if all the (obviously romantic) scenes between Loki and Mobius had been with Sylvie, or another female presenting character, how would it had been perceived? Romantic, of course. They would never ever in a million years throw it off as "platonic". They wouldn't even have to kiss (another ridiculous requirement for two characters to be accepted as a romantic couple) for it to be "official". Our Loki being male presenting and Mobius being a dude only result in our annoyingly heteronormative society viewing it as a "bromance". C'MON!! It's gay, your honor. Open your eyes!
side note: the same issue remains when it is a hetero pairing that is actually platonic. How many great friendships and character story lines have not been ruined by forced romantic pairing? *cough* loki and sylvie for example
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lokisprettygirl · 1 year ago
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I’m a little bit sad that new season of Loki didn’t inspire you somehow… I’m starting to be done with the fandom, almost every fic on ao3 is about Lokius. I’m not homophobic at all but really? On the other hand it’s probably better ship than Sylkie…
Awh don't be sad. I did like this season better than the first one (which was a crap fest at best) but considering it was a follow up it still had its flaws.
It's not that I'm done with Loki in general, because i think about him half of the time 😂 and inspiration hits me out of nowhere so even if the series didn't inspire me ..i know I'll continue to write for lo sooner or later.
Sylkie was shit (sorry if you shipped that but like why). I'd never want loki to end up with an awful version of HIMSELF, like give him a proper partner . Lokius was bromance at best (yeah that used to be a thing of the past) and that's how I saw it in the first season as well, not everything has to be gay these days and you're not homophobic for saying that, I don't like people pleasing so I don't care how people may choose to perceive my words. Unfollow me, don't give a shit.
That being said don't be done with the fandom, there are plenty of us who are continuing despite the lack of support and encouragement. Hope you find your people who'd make you want to stay.
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mislioncourt · 1 year ago
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Its quite funny how sylvie from loki series gets a lot of hate... the same hate that shiv roy gets (both are failures and have an interesting development as characters and sad childhood) but i think the difference is lokius dont have any evidence or vibes of being a romantic relationship in the future and tomgreg + Shiv have a lot of development as a fail marriage and Tom's codependency with both relationships; Tom (with Shiv first and Greg) and Loki(with Sylvie) are kind obsesess with their partners. I understand that people wants some queer rep but the level of hate and harassment is INSANE in loki fandom. Tomshiv and Tomgreg are canon, Lokius will never be canon, I love them as bromance but lets be clear gents, its pure misogynistic behavior 🤷‍♀️
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lettingtimepass · 1 year ago
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Lokius
I feel like Lokius is the first ship in a while that I've really gotten into and it feels different...
Like with Ed and Stede (OMFD) I knew they were at least going to kiss when I started the show (I had already seen posts on Twitter) and I never really had a doubt that they would be endgame.
On the other hand, my all-time favorite Marvel ship is Tony and Bruce. I never actually expected them to be canon, and was basically just happy with little nuggets of subtext (and text) but content with my own headcanons.
Maybe it's just because our hopes haven't been completely dashed yet, but it just feels fun watching something unfold. Something significant. If they delegate them to a "bromance" I'll be disappointed, but also there's so much evidence we can truly interpret it any way we want.
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lailyn · 1 year ago
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A Face In The Crowd, Ch 6
Mobius' swift return was met with both relief and disbelief; to their collective surprise, Judge Renslayer had given the go ahead without so much as an argument. 
“How in the world did you get Renslayer to say yes?” Vincent asked suspiciously. 
“Nice to know you had so much confidence in me, Doc,” Mobius said. “Bargaining is a tool y’all need to learn. It comes in handy sometimes.”
“You bargained, huh?" Vincent snorted. "What did you give away? Hope you didn’t offer her a kidney or something.”
“Nah, I’m saving up Loki’s kidneys for hopefully something bigger in the future,” Mobius said coolly. “All she wants is a front seat to the whole thing.”
Vincent’s eyebrows rose to meet his hairline. “She wants to watch me at work? That’s new.”
“I didn’t even have to twist her arm," Mobius said with a shrug. "She just said to knock yourself out. Maybe she’s warming up to you at last. You have given us some good results in the past.”
“Well, it is about time I get some recognition for my genius,” Vincent agreed wholeheartedly.
“You don’t look too happy,” Mobius said, finally noticing the frown on Loki’s face. 
“I find it a bit suspect how easily it went, that’s all,” Loki said. “Do you think it’s a good idea to have her sit in?” 
“It’s not like we have a lot of say in the matter,” Mobius said. “And this wouldn't be the first time we’ve allowed the prisoners temporary access to their powers.” 
“That is true, we do it sometimes for research purposes,” Vincent said, backing up Mobius’ claim. “And your magic will be limited to the manipulation of basic physiological parameters, like your internal homeostasis and thermoregulation to name a few so you can adapt to the harsh environment you’d expect to encounter on Mount Everest.”
Loki made a sound of dismay. “Are you serious?”
“We���re not a bunch of idiots, Loki,” Mobius said. "Giving you full rein of your magic when the last Variant who executed a spectacular jailbreak happened to be a Loki? It's never gonna happen."
"I don't know if I should feel proud or insulted," Loki muttered.
"How about grateful? This is your chance to get into the TVA's good graces," Mobius said. “Pull this off and maybe we’ll keep you around.”
"Grateful," Loki echoed in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "How very kind of you to say that, when I'm the one doing you a favour."
"I'm always grateful for you, Loki," Mobius said with an easy smile. "Thanks to you, I will always have a job."
_________________________________
“I’ve seen this before.”
“Looks familiar, doesn’t it?” Vincent said. “We lifted the design off the detention cell on board the Helicarrier. You know, the one you trapped your dear brother in. You should feel right at home.”
Loki knocked on the glass lightly with his knuckles. “Will it hold?"
"It's an upgraded version. We've used it to subdue a Thor variant or two. If it could contain your brother, I'm sure it could contain you," Vincent said absently. 
“Your taunts do not bother me,” Loki said, though his glare clearly said otherwise. “Get in with me, if you dare.”
Vincent’s smile turned savage. “That sounds like a proposition.”
“Mobius was right,” Loki said flatly. “You work too much. You see subtext in everything.”
“Word of advice, we don’t project our loneliness here at the TVA, Loki.”
Loki snorted loudly, but said nothing.
"Talking about my work, I do not see it as a flaw. I see it as having a purpose," Vincent said. "Without purpose, what good are we?"
"Having a purpose is important when you have a short shelf life, I suppose. It doesn't really apply to me, I'm either going to die very soon, or live longer than any of you."
Ever the reader between the lines, Vincent proceeded to ask, "Are you afraid?"
"Of dying?" 
"How very simplistic," Vincent said. "Let's not kid ourselves. You meant to die when you took that arrow."
The silence that followed stretched the seconds into painful minutes, poignant and heavy.
"Does Mobius know?" Loki asked quietly.
"He does now," Vincent said. "I told him."
Loki remained unusually impassive. "Of course you did." 
Vincent let out a frustrated sigh, earning him a sharp look from Loki. 
"You’re being really annoying right now," Loki growled. "Spit it out, why don’t you? What are you trying to imply?" 
"Appreciate being alive? Just a suggestion,” Vincent said.
What followed was another soul-crushing pause of agonising silence.
"How can I, Doctor?" Loki questioned gently. "I lack purpose."
"That's not true," Vincent said swiftly. "Purpose doesn't have to be altruistic or life-defining. It can be as simple as wanting to live another day to listen to your favourite song or engage in banter with your sworn enemy."
"Something to live for, one day at a time."
"That's exactly right."
"That is so sad," Loki said. He pressed his face against the impenetrable glass barrier again, but this time there was a fire in his expression that had not been there before.
"You just found one, didn't you?"
"Yes," Loki said, eyes glinting with excitement. "I'm going to burn this place to the ground."
Vincent nodded nonchalantly as though he had been expecting such an answer all along. "Start with my office. I've been asking for an ergonomic work desk for ages."
_____________________________________
The day of the experiment could not come soon enough, but now, standing inside the temperature chamber with so many eyes watching, Loki could feel his confidence waver. 
His reluctance must be written all over his face, for Mobius to see it from where he was observing up on the viewing deck.
"You survived the cold of outer space, this should be an easy ride for you." Mobius' voice crackled through the intercom.
"For the millionth time, it is not the temperature that is the problem, it is altitude," Vincent muttered. "I pray for the day when communicating scientific concepts to non-science people stops being so tedious."
"Can we proceed?" Judge Renslayer's razor-sharp voice cut in. "Some of us don't have all day."
"Let the record show this is Doctor Vincent Strange, Personnel Number S616, Chief Medical Officer of the TVA. I will be overseeing the High Altitude Simulation Study today on subject Variant L1130." Vincent looked at the silent figure sitting cross-legged in the cell. "L1130, do you consent?"
Loki rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, "Now you ask me."
"Od - " Vincent caught himself, acutely aware of the distrustful eyes watching his every move. "Laufeyson."
"Yes, yes, I consent," Loki said, waving a hand. "Not that it matters."
"He likes to talk, this one," Mobius said, amused. 
Ravonna's reply was hostile and sinister. "He won't be talking for long. Doctor Strange, get on with it."
"Aye, aye, Ma'am," Vincent sighed. He cleared his throat loudly. "It is now fourteen hundred Sacred Timeline time, and the test will commence - ” he pressed the start button. “Now.”
Frigid air and snow blew in through the vents into the chamber, and the atmospheric pressure began to drop with each increment on the altimeter.
It did not take long before the first signs of hypothermia set in. Ice clung to Loki's eyelashes and hair, and the tips of his fingers as well as his nose turned an alarming dusky colour.
Vincent spoke into the intercom, "How are you doing, L1130?"
"P-peachy," Loki managed a laugh despite shivering uncontrollably. "How is it l-looking from all the way down there?"
"Your body core temperature has now decreased by 15%. You should be feeling it in a minute or two."
"Oh, I am feeling it right now," Loki gritted through chattering teeth. He tried coaxing his ice magic to life, but it was like attempting to swim against a rip current; the more he tried to get to the shore, the further the tide pulled him out to sea. 
Vincent silently counted the rise and fall of Loki's chest. "Respiratory rate is elevated at sixty breaths per minute."
"There is still time," Ravonna purred.
Vincent could hear the smile in her voice, and it sickened him to the core. He tried again. "Judge Renslayer, the subject's oxygenation saturation is approaching hypoxic level, you have to deactivate the limiters now."
Loki's face twisted in agony as he clenched his chest, vapour escaping from his blue-tinged lips with each desperate gasp for breath. 
As his lungs began to fill with fluid, blood frothed at the corner of his mouth. He banged his fist against the glass, growing visibly weaker with each passing second.
Vincent could see Mobius yelling at Renslayer, gesticulating wildly with his hands, but the judge simply stood with a smug smile on her face. 
This was a power struggle, one that Renslayer was clearly winning.
Hanging onto the last tethers of consciousness, Loki peered through the glass, and his glazed eyes met Vincent's. 
Gone was the centuries worth of pain and fury that personified Loki from the day they met. All that remained was sadness, and…fear.
Are you afraid of dying?
It was only then that Vincent realised, he never did hear the answer from Loki's mouth. 
I don't want to go, the watery green eyes pleaded, Not like this.
It was warm outside the chamber, but Vincent felt the chill all the same, collecting at the base of his spine like an icy finger running down his back. 
Loki's eyes fluttered to a close.
Through a haze of red and muffled voices, Vincent threw himself over the controls and his fingers flew over the keys, entering the codes required to bring the experiment to a halt.
The howling gales persisted despite his frantic commands, and Loki's vital signs continued to plummet. 
As the blaring of the alarms reached a deafening clamour, Vincent looked up at the observation window, where Ravonna was standing, gloating. 
Mobius was no longer by her side; he must have made his way down by now. True enough, the sounds of banging and shouting from the door soon joined the cacophony.
There was only one thing left to do. If Vincent could not bring the wretched experiment to a halt…he could override the magic limiters. He knew the codes, being one of the handful of people in the TVA who did.
Yes, he could return Loki's magic, and ensure that one of them would live. 
After this stunt, there was no way Vincent would not pay with his life.
What are you doing? He screamed internally.
Primum non nocere. Do no harm.
Loki was unconscious now, his frostbitten digits twitching in the artificial snow.
Vincent pressed his hand onto the palm print reader, authorisation from the higher ups be damned -
The collar around Loki's neck disengaged, and the detention cell imploded in a burst of bright green light.  
__________________________________
"Mobius…"
"Shhh. Don't try to speak." Mobius pressed the oxygen mask over Loki's face, "Just breathe."
"Vincent?"
"Vincent's been...detained."
Loki's bruised lungs seized at the news, and a series of painful, wet coughs wracked his body.
"I'll take care of it." Mobius' soft tone hardened. "I'll take care of it."
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My thoughts on episode 4
Yay recap
IS OB GONNA BE A MAJOR PLAYER THIS EPISODE?!
Uh oh
WHAT DO YOU KNOW MINUTES
shorter intro today- OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK
are we seeing raw time?
Minutes you’d better shut the fuck up
Oh dear
Time for WHAT
OH NO
OH MY GOD RAVONNA IS A FUCKING GODDESS I AM SO GONE
minutes is out of her head okay 
*shovels candy into my mouth because period*
Hi Victor :)
IS VICTOR GONNA HAVE A MEETING WITH OB I WILL SOB
B15 MY WIFE
Aww Mobius you’re so cute
Haha Loki is so funny 
I’m gonna start saying la di da
B15 makes me so weak lemme just perish
No forgiving and forgetting. We resent and remember.
Chocolate. Soup.
Victor is so relatable
CASEY AND OB ARE SO CLOSE RIGHT NOW JUST KISS BOTH OF YOU
HE KNOWS HIM
THEY KNOW EACH OTHER
OB IS LOSING HIS SHIT
A SNAKE EATING ITS OWN TAIL HE FUCKING SAID IT
I am crying
BROMANCE
OB IS ME
I AM OB
oh this is the scene from the credits
Sylvie my wife
SOMEONE
HER LITTLE SMILE
“And ruined my life” get her son
Loki has to do it
HA HE STRAIGHT UP VOLUNTEERED HIS HUSBAND DIDNT HE
ITS GORGEOUS 
“It’s wearing a helmet it doesn’t look like anyone!”
MY SONS ARE BONDING
PIE WHILE WE WAIT
Sylvie just calm down
Sylvie please leave your brother in law alone
SYLVIE STOP
LOKI WHY ARE YOU LEAVING TOO
Brad stfu. Stop it.
BEA’S HERE 
I’m calling her Bea now. It’s easier and more humanizing than a number.
Bea don’t trust them.
PIE LAND IM DECEASED
“About Mobius” YEAH? YOUR HUSBAND?
Just so we’re clear, we need to get you a therapist, babygirl.
What are the hets on? I see no chemistry between Loki and Sylvie
Oh Loki spitting facts
Hope is hard. Damn that breaks me.
We are gods
Why are you getting closer
LOKI STEP THE FUCK BACk
Oh he’s walking away there we go
Thank god I was about to have a cardiac arrest 
“I know, I have been working on myself” minutes I will sob what are you up to now
MINUTES DONT 
OH MY GOD STOP ALL OF THIS I AM SCARED 
MINUTES’ UNHINGED GRIN WHAT IS GOING ON
BRAD HELP THEM
oh my god
Oh my god I heard that
Oh my god they’re all dead
Oh my god
Oh my god (x99)
Oh no
OB is so cute I’m keeping him in my pocket
Nothing is connecting
Bea look away please 
Oh no no no
Blub blub blub goes the cocoa machine :D
He’s so kind to Dee Dee 
I’m just gonna start naming all of them.
OH NO NO NO
BRAD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
I JUST NAMED HIM I WAS ATTATCHED
Ouroboros what do you mean again did Mobius download Tetris once
This is all horrible
Smart Sylvie 
Oh Loki is about to fuckin lose it
You’re going to put him in the room with Minutes?!
OH RAVONNA
“You’re gonna talk when I say you can, and only then” oh my word…*fanning myself with my hands*
RAVONNA I-
MOMMY- SORRY
oh no this is the scene from episode one
LOKI FROM EPISODE ONE
LOKI IS GONNA PRUNE LOKI 
smart Sylvie :)
Oh my god it’s exactly the scene from episode one
Sylvie is so pretty I’m gonna cry
OH THAT WAS A NOISE
LOKI PRUNED LOKI!
THIS IS A TWIST!!!
OH THAT LOOK-
THAT HAS TO BE SO CONFUSING FOR SYLVIE NGL
that little flinch help me
“Huh?”
Pick up the damn phone 
OB!
reboot the system please
Oh Casey don’t do that
TURN IT OFF
hehe minutes is fucking lost
well that was ominous
Get fucked Brad
Oh I know Loki’s gonna have the fangirls raving 
NO RAVONNA!!!!
RAVONNA COME BACK MY BELOVED
Ob thank god you’re back I am suffering some emotional whiplash
Loki is gonna have to go out there…
No no we need more Lokius hurt comfort Victor step the fuck down
Oh come ON
WHY IS OB SO TINY HE COULD FIT RIGHT IN MY POCKET
I just realized that- OH MY GOD TIMELY
WHY IS EVERYTHING EXPLODING
LOKI GET MOBIUS TO SAFETY
if this is the end of the episode-
OH MY FUCKING GOD
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gothlokid · 1 year ago
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i want you to know that you're the only person on my dash watching loki (and one of the very few marvel blogs i still follow) and i'm living vicariously through you and hoping for lokius so so much <3 and everything you're reblogging is making me want to watch season 2, and i know i most likely will. keep being awesome <3
oh hey! hahahahahaha i guess... thank you but also you're welcome?? hahahaha honestly i only came back to this blog because i feel more free to freak out about loki and the show here, i wasn't sure i'd be too excited for season 2 but seeing that there are people who are also invested in whatever is happening with lokius (be it hardcore shipping or just the bromance in general) also added fuel to my loki fire! i'm actually enjoying this season a lot despite what some people have been saying about it, so i hope i won't be too disappointed with the finale next week! maybe you'll get a chance to catch up with it to watch the finale too 🤗
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lokittystuckinatree · 1 year ago
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Why can’t Lokius simply be a bromance? Why must we always remove the b? I just don’t find their dynamic that romantic and I wish there was more room for people like me in this fandom
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mislioncourt · 1 year ago
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In fact... the sacrifice was for Sylvie there are a lot of interviews with crew and cast so, yeah, lokius was queerbait LMAO. I love them as bromance because Disney never ever give any crumb of queer rep, so i love lokius and sylki because both ships are important for loki.
I thought it was really funny when loki sacrificed himself and he looked at sylvie and Mobius and all the shippers were like he is talking to sylvie no he's talking to Mobius like they are playing you they did on purpose so everyone thinks their ship won
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juliejoestar · 3 years ago
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(Loki Spoiler ep 4) I can't. I just. I can't
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I feel like I want to BITE THIS EPISODE.
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