#logan had been struggling and broken he said

[cptsamerica]

I always thought it was about John's mistake with whatever drug knocked him out, yeah.

Interestingly, it brings up some cool meta to me about if this is what solidified John's stance on always giving people a chance to win their game, instead of rigging it or just being a serial killer.

I don't think before this he could truly see past his own sorrow and how he had no chance to win his game (life). He should have a chance to win his "trap" (life), but he has none, so why should anyone else get one?

In saving Logan, I think John finalized how he wanted to go about doing traps:

Just because he had no chance in life (and also because he knows how shitty it feels to not have a chance), that doesn't mean someone else should have the same fate (especially if it was not their fault like the drug with Logan). So he decides to make sure that (no matter how slim) there is always A chance/choice.

I think because that moment ties everything in the movie together and to John, it's the right way to interpret it, yeah! :)

Question about Jigsaw

So, when Logan says, "He thought I shouldn't die for an honest mistake" (or smth along those lines) does he mean the mistake of him mislabeling the x-rays, because I feel like that would be a genuine thing he would put someone in a trap for, or does he mean the mistake he made giving Logan too much anesthesia or whatever he used on him.?

[eufezco]

TOLERATE IT 𓂃 𓈒 ❀

oldman!logan x fem!reader

synopsis – the struggles with the growing distance between you and logan and holding on to a man who has already let go.

a/n – kinda inspired by tolerate it by taylor swift.

angst.

logan was late again, though you’d stopped watching the clock weeks ago. time became meaningless when each hour felt like a reminder of how far apart the two of you had grown. he was late and you thought you preferred it this way, because when he was home, it was worse.

when he was home, he didn’t look at you, like you weren’t even there. he didn’t talk to you, offering only brief replies or silence. the man who once made you feel seen, known, and loved was now a shadow. at least when he was gone, you didn’t have to feel the sting of being invisible in your own home.

the sound of the front door opening startled you from your thoughts.

you'd been cooking dinner for him, if you stayed busy, maybe you could ignore the ache in your chest, the endless questions you no longer dared to ask. his heavy steps echoed down the hall, the unmistakable smell of alcohol followed him into the room like an unwelcome guest.

you turned toward the hall, his eyes, bloodshot, avoided yours.

—hey, —you said softly, your voice tentative.

he didn’t answer, just grunted as he moved past you and toward the chair where he always dropped his jacket.

—i've cooked you dinner, —you tried again, forcing a smile.

—not hungry.

the smile disapeared , your lips trembling slightly as you looked at him. —logan, you’ve barely eaten anything lately, —you said, your voice quieter.

—i said i’m not hungry, —he repeated, the irritation in his voice unmistakable. he didn’t even turn to face you, his focus already on loosening his tie.

you stood there for a moment, clutching the edge of the plate, so hard that you thought it would break under your fingers. the meal you’d poured so much effort into, the carefully laid table—it all felt pointless, like shouting into a void. you opened your mouth to respond, to say anything but your eyes caught on the smudge of red on the collar of his shirt. the words died on your lips, and your stomach twisted as realization hit. lipstick.

—logan? —you said, barely above a whisper.

he followed your line of sight, his expression hardening when he saw what had caught your attention. —don’t start, —he said, his voice low and warning.

—don’t start? —you repeated in disbelief. —logan, there’s lipstick on your collar. you—

—i don’t want to do this right now, —he interrupted, his voice rising slightly, frustration etched into every word.

—but... —you tried again. then you noticed how his hair was more disheveled than usual, how some buttons on his shirt were undone. ever since things started to go wrong with logan, you always had a sneaking suspicion that he was seeing other women. most of the times you didn't say anything, not because you didn’t care, but because the thought of confronting him felt more terrifying than the suspicion itself. you had convinced yourself that if this was the price you had to pay to keep him by your side, you would pay it.

but when you confronted him, he’d deny it—nothing was going on. you wanted to believe him, you tried to believe him. but you knew that something was off. there were things you couldn’t ignore and that he didn't care enough to hide, like the way he would smell different when he came home some nights—like someone else’s perfume clung to his shirt.

—i came from work fucking tired and you are trying to start a fight! these things—these things you do are what makes it so goddamn exhausting to be near you.

you didn’t just drop the plate on the floor, you smashed it. the plate carefully prepared, a gesture of love but now, just like everything else, it was broken beyond repair. without thinking, you stepped forward, closing the space between you and him, your breath coming hard and fast, your fist tight with anger.

his expression was unreadable at first, a flicker of annoyance clouding his features, but beneath it, there was something else—something like intrigue, as if he was daring you to keep going, to show him just how much he had hurt you. your pressed your finger against his chest, steady and defying.

—you don’t deserve a fucking thing I gave you, —you spat, your voice laced with fury that you had been keeping to yourself for far too long. his lips parted as if to say something, but you didn’t give him the chance. —what a shame that this mutation of yours is taking so long to kill you and that i have to be the one to suffer all the shit you are rotting in.

silence settled between you after those words. for a few seconds, you both just stood there, locked in each other’s gaze. his eyes were hard, unreadable, and you couldn't see anything shifting. no sign of regret, no sign of guilt.

—are you done? —he said finally, his tone flat, almost bored, as if your pain was just another inconvenience in his already exhausting day.

you made your way to the bedroom. as you passed him, you bumped your shoulder against his and logan closed his eyes and shook his head. you didn't let the tears fall from your eyes just yet. you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you break.

you collapsed in your shared bed. the sheets smelled faintly of him, even though it had been weeks since the last time he slept there, a cruel reminder of the distance between you. the sobs broke free, quiet and muffled at first, but then louder.

and he heard you from the living room.

you knew he did and you waited, even as your tears soaked the pillow, hoping—praying—that you’d hear the sound of his footsteps approaching. that he’d walk through the door, sit on the edge of the bed, and pull you into his arms like he used to. that he’d say something—anything—to let you know he still cared, still saw you.

but he didn't come.

instead, you heard the clink of his whiskey glass, the quiet sound of him trying to drown out the reality with alcohol. his attempts to ignore the sound of your sobs failed. but still, logan didn’t move.

the tears eventually took over and you fell asleep.

logan picked up the shattered pieces of the plate from the floor and then went into your room. you felt his arm slide across your back, pulling you closer to him, the warmth of his skin too familiar, too intimate, but it felt wrong now, like a cruel mockery of what it used to be. you whined and tried to push his arm away, your body tensed, trying not to surrender to the moment, and shook, trying to make it clear that you didn’t want him to touch you.

—don’t, —you muttered, still half asleep. —don’t touch me.

yet he could feel how it instinctively molded to his. your body remembered him, the way you used to fit together.

—quit it, —logan said, his voice low and rough. his arm tightened around you, firmly, to keep you from pulling away. then, just as quickly, his hold softened, arms relaxing as they hugged you.

he stayed there all night, his arm around you, holding you close in a way that felt almost natural. for the first time in what felt like forever, his breathing steadied, the weight of exhaustion pulling him into a deep sleep. you relaxed into his embrace but when you woke up the next morning, the bed felt cold. you turned, reaching out instinctively and the space where he had been was empty.

he was gone. but it wasn't surprising, not really. you should've known that he wouldn’t stay. he had always been a man who left—left conversations unfinished, left wounds unhealed, left you in pieces. what was truly surprising, more than his absence now, was the fact that he had been ever there at all.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Everything You Deserve (logan)

Summary: Logan deserves all of your love

WC: 815

Warnings: fluff, logans uncertain.

Read on Ao3!

--

The sun was beginning to set, casting a golden hue across the horizon as you stood on the porch of the cabin Logan had brought you to. It was secluded, surrounded by nothing but towering trees and the sounds of nature. A haven, far from the chaos that normally followed him.

You smiled softly, wrapping your arms around yourself as the cool evening air started to settle in. Logan had been inside for a while, claiming he had something to do. You had no idea what he was up to, but knowing him, it could’ve been anything from fixing something in the house to just…needing a moment alone.

You didn’t mind. It was rare for him to be so at peace. Normally, he was on edge, fighting some battle—whether it was with others or himself. But here, there was none of that. Just quiet moments with the man you loved.

The sound of the screen door creaking open broke your thoughts. You turned to see Logan step out, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans, his flannel shirt rolled up to his elbows. His hair was tousled, and that familiar rugged look on his face was softened by the evening glow.

"Hey," he said in that gruff, low voice of his, though there was a hint of something else there—an unspoken emotion he rarely showed.

“Hey yourself,” you replied, giving him a warm smile. “What’ve you been up to?”

Logan walked over to stand beside you, eyes scanning the landscape for a moment before turning back to you. “Just thinkin’,” he said, his brow furrowing slightly.

“Uh-oh, that’s dangerous,” you teased lightly, earning a huff of amusement from him. You nudged his arm playfully, leaning your head against his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?”

Logan was silent for a long moment, and you could feel the tension in him. It wasn’t the usual kind, though. This was different.

Finally, he sighed, turning to face you fully. His hands came out of his pockets, reaching to take yours. His grip was firm but gentle—another rare thing with him.

“You,” he said simply, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I’ve been thinkin’ about you.”

Your heart fluttered at his words. Logan wasn’t one for grand declarations, but when he said things like that, they always hit deep. “What about me?” you asked softly.

Logan’s gaze dropped to your intertwined hands, a slight frown tugging at his lips, but not in anger or frustration. More like he was struggling to find the right words.

“I don’t deserve this,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t deserve you.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he continued before you could.

“I’ve done a lot of things…things I’m not proud of. Hurt a lot of people. Been fightin’ my whole damn life, and I’m just…I’m tired. But you—" he paused, his eyes meeting yours, full of raw vulnerability. "You’re too good for me. Deserve better than some broken-down, fightin’ machine.”

Your heart ached at the way he saw himself, always so hard on who he was, who he had been. You cupped his face gently, your thumb brushing over the rough stubble of his jaw.

“Logan,” you whispered, making sure he was looking at you, “you deserve everything in the world. You deserve peace, love…me.” You gave him a soft smile, hoping he could feel the sincerity in your words. “You’ve been through so much, and you’re still standing. You still care. That’s why you deserve it.”

He stared at you for a long moment, the battle waging in his mind visible in his eyes. But slowly, you saw the walls begin to crumble. His shoulders relaxed, and he leaned into your touch.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he muttered, shaking his head slightly, but there was a small, almost shy smile playing at his lips.

You smiled back, pulling him down for a gentle kiss. It wasn’t rushed or heated—just a quiet moment between the two of you, where everything else faded away. When you pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, the two of you standing in the soft glow of the setting sun.

“You deserve me because you love me,” you whispered against his lips. “And I love you. That’s all there is to it.”

Logan’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your chest.

“For what it’s worth,” he said, his voice a low rumble, “I love you too, darlin’. More than I ever thought I could.”

You smiled, your heart swelling with warmth. In that moment, surrounded by the peace of the woods and the comfort of his embrace, everything felt right.

Because he did deserve it. And you were more than happy to give him everything.

--

EVERYTHING PERM: @nekoannie-chan @kjs-s @notyourtypicalrose @mistressofallthingsgeeky

MARVEL PERM: @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @late-to-the-party-81 @capsthot @kenzieam @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes

LOGAN/WOLVERINE:  @winterslove1917

[briseroyawritingsblog]

𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒐𝒕!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

• +18 minors do not interact. fluffy, happy ending, unprotected sex, soft sex, lots of smut, feelings, breeding kink, marriage. etc.

𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 / 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

divider by @anitalenia 🤍

“I do” you nod softly biting your lower lip, your sclera black eyes welling up with tears as you stand in front of your soon to be husband hands joined fingers tangled, the shimmery gold wedding rings touching.

“I do” Logan nodded too, itching fingers to raise your weil up to finally kiss his bride. God his heart was nearly jumping out of his chest and when the priest said that he may kiss his wife Logan didn’t waste a second. Uncovering your face he pulled you in his arms and covered your mouth in sweet kisses. Indulging into his warm embrace and his mouth you mewled at the taste of his tongue. Clutching your hands on his white button up your mouths melt.

“Ah..” you sob softly, opening your eyes. Raising your hand to look at your engagement ring, it shimmered even though it was pitch black in the room because of your dark curtains the lights from outside peeked in. Chest heaving up and down blinking away tears. You have been trying to make a baby for the last few weeks. For two months to be exact, but you weren’t lucky to catch on. Touching your lower belly you struggled with your emotions, hearing a noice in the living room you guessed that Logan was still awake doing paperwork. You have been financially stable, and living in peace. The life alone with him was so blissful and you experienced a true home. You worked with children full time, and you couldn’t stop wanting your own. Logan loved the idea of being a father and having his own running around so you both agreed to try and make a baby.

“Princess..” walking in the room wearing one of his white undershirt, pair of pants but the belt left open. Your tears didn’t stop as you lied there holding your lower belly even though he was now sitting next to you cupping your cheek wiping away your new tears. Soon you were about to marry him, he asked you to be his wife only few days ago. Small part of you struggled to accept that what if you were not able to carry children even though you had everything what you woman needed. “I’m sorry” a broken whimper escaped your lips. “Why are you sorry baby?” Logan spoke softly leaning down to kiss your forehead slowly dragging his lips to your cheek kissing away your tears. “Maybe I’m not a real woman.. I’m not real” you sobbed. Maybe it was pathetic, but god you felt so much like a failure.

“You are real for me” Logan kissed your shoulder resting his cheek against your own slowly inhaling her scent. You smelled like coconuts and sweet flowers, he closed his eyes dragging his nose to your collarbone and between your breasts. You pulled him closer fumbling with his belt and pants opening them “Show me..” you breathed desperate to pull his cock out. He groaned hungrily, getting rid of your sleeping shorts and your panties. Your pussy glistened with your slick, moans flowed out of your lips when he rubbed the head of his swollen cock between your folds. Hands coming up to his cheeks you flipped him over so you were on top. He groaned hiking up your tank top above your breasts watching them spring free god they were so round and perky. He loved every part of you-

Licking your fingers to moisten his cock even more before you happily sank on it. He let out a soft whimper seizing your hips with his hands trying to piston his hips up into you but you were too determined to love your man tonight. You wanted him so much- “Ugh baby..” you moaned clenching your mound around his cock his lips were left parted in pleasure when your small hands located his pecks. You began to move back and forth gyrating your warm core around his length making him melt under you. “Mommy and Daddy.. we can do it together” you let out little squeaks of pleasure as he ran his big palms on your sides lovingly caressing you. His breath hitched when you rocked your hips even faster “Fuck yes..” he grunted voice dripping with need and lust. Lips agape eyes shimmering with nothing but love as you picked up the speed of your hips riding him faster moaning softly. Logan couldn’t keep it down himself, he moaned for you as breath hitched in his throat. Feeling him in your soul your body shivered in pleasure “Daddy” you mewled bouncing on his cock quicker. Logan’s thumb slid in your mouth and you sucked on it his other hand eagerly squeezed and fondled your breasts twirling your nipples. “F-fuckkk..” he let out a breathy groan watching you bounce on his cock he held your thighs in his large palms struggling to keep going it felt so good his body began to surge with more pleasure. Cock throbbing and swelling in you, you cried out laying back down on his chest as you kissed. His tongue immediately claimed your own and he flipped you over moving both of his arms around your tiny body pistoning his hips into you thrusting in your sopping wet core. You clenched around him milking him for all and you moaned into your mouths in unison. Tongues swirling together your hands scratching down his back as pleasure bolted through your spine arching your back hitting your hips upwards welcoming his thrusts until you both found your highs. Even through your orgasms you moaned into each other’s mouths holding each other. Your legs and arms remained around him. Gazing at the ceiling Logan rested his face on your naked chest you hummed in post haze euphoria “I love you so much..” he sighed in satisfaction sleepily “me too bub, i love you to pieces”

two weeks passed— you got married. The ceremony was private and between you and Logan only and you couldn’t be happier. You didn’t need much in your life just him— just your person and your soulmate, but you tested negative for pregnancy again. Tears forming in your eyes holding your belly. “Nothing?” Logan wrapped his arms around you from behind and you sighed closing your eyes caressing his forearms looking at the negative pregnancy test on the sink. Your wedding rings shimmered under the light as your fingers touched “We will get lucky.. you gonna carry my little wolves soon” he kissed your cheek a soft smile on his lips burying his face in your hair. Heart skipped a beat at the thought of the moment you’d find out eventually that you’re carrying his baby wolves like he loved to call them.

“dinner in twenty..” you whispered kissing his knuckles before slipping out of his arms walking to the kitchen. Thunderstorm spread across the sky and you hummed switching on the flat screen. News were on, thinking Logan would come to the kitchen to take a beer and relax by the tv but instead of doing so he was right behind you distracting you kissing the back of your neck telling you how much he loved you. You couldn’t hide your smile anymore, your cheeks blushed as he touched and caressed every part of you possible undoing your apron just to kneel down sliding your shorts and panties down your thighs. You stepped out of them eagerly switching off the stove. Turning you around your husband’s mouth was on yours latching hard and passionately kissing you. Moaning into his lips fumbling with his belt and jeans unzipping them Logan was already hoisting you in his arms pressing you against the wall. You cried out against his lips as he impaled you on his cock. “Need to fill my wife with all of me all night..” you whimpered locking your arms around his neck as he held your hips moving you back and forth on his cock slowly starting to thrust at the same time causing your heart shake in your chest eyes closing lips parting as you moaned loudly. His face found home in the valley of your breasts breathing harshly snapping hips into you gripping your thighs in his hands making sure they are parted for him and god you shook in his arms “darling.. ughhhh!! Ugh!” You cried clinging to him as if your heart depended on it and Logan growled his claws shooting out smashing into the wall behind you. You gasped looking at him your noses touching smiling the way his hips never stopped pounding into you “fuck fuck fuck…!” your head tipped back as you bounced up and down quicker and quicker your back sliding up and down against the wall your core clenched around his length. “mmm” running your hands down his back your thighs rocked against his sides the more he snapped his hips into you. “love my little wife’s mess on my cock, can’t wait to fill you with my wolves” he smiled against your lips and you giggled kissing him letting him hold you against the wall and repeatedly pound you until you couldn’t breathe and you were drenching his cock in your sweet release. Your body shook as you coated his length in your orgasm and soon he shoved himself deeply in you giving you another of his precious loads cumming deeply in you nestling himself right against your womb making sure it’s filled with his cum. “baby” you mewled, licking his lower lip and he hugged you close. “You have a wall to repair..” chuckling Logan smirked against your breasts “Can’t help it darling you feel so good” he spend another moment being inside of you and you both couldn’t stop kissing and tasting each others mouth —

“Just one more sweetheart.. c’on show daddy how much you love his tongue” he breathed as heat pooled in your core after not even remembering precisely— how many orgasms did your body endure underneath your husbands. You’ve read in books that newlyweds were always glued to each other and wanting one another so badly. “Please please” you whimpered rocking your mound against your husbands mouth as he teased your clit with his tongue and from the sweet overstimulation you couldn’t take it but cum once again. “Atta girl” he smiled kissing his way up to your breasts sinking back inside of you. Your moans echoed in the bedroom as soon as your hips clashed against one another and you both reached heaven. Passing out in your husbands arms, waking up in his arms— you couldn’t be happier. Heat radiating from his body as the first ray of sunshine peeked through your dark curtains the city becoming alive once again, the holographic advertisements showed something new everyday and you couldn’t stop your curiosity. New robots were made, were they like you? Overtime just coming to life? Or were you just the only one special? Logan stirred awake and he peppered your naked chest in soft kisses “Mornin kitten” you immediately blushed rolling on top of him hugging him tightly.

“Goodbye Blake!” You smiled at one of your little children leaving the day care. Waving him goodbye you gathered the colouring pencils off the floor when you felt the sensation in your stomach. It was a heavy feeling and it travelled upwards. Giving the pencils to your colleague you rushed to the bathrooms, and there it was. Your very first time being sick, like a normal human being. A friend of yours came in to check on you and god you felt so nauseous. Lightheaded. That you almost fainted. And it happened at home too, maybe it was time for you to tell your doctor that you feel unbelievably unwell.

After Logan left for work, you dressed and left your apartment. Of course you didn’t tell him because he’d worry so much about you and you didn’t want to stress him. Maybe parts of you were dying out.. maybe you had blood poisoning. Or worse..

Sitting in the consulting room you spoke to your doctor about your symptoms and she smiled. “Have you been active with your husband, Mrs Howlett?” You nodded immediately “Well of course we love each other” you admitted nervously rubbing your palms together. “Let’s do a little check up shall we?” She guided you to lay back and place your legs on the holders so she can sit between your thighs and look you over. She smiled peeking up at you as you lied there nervous “Am I broken doctor?” You couldn’t help it. You didn’t know how woman’s body worked. “Have you had your cycle this month?” You furrowed your eyebrows together shaking your head telling her a ‘no’

“Well.. your cervix is perfectly sealed, you’re expecting” she smiled at you and abruptly sat up. “What?!” She removed her gloves nodding. “If this is your first please don’t be nervous babies are a miracle. I’m sure your husband will love the news” and there it was. You broke down crying— emotions all over the place and tears rolled down your cheeks. “You don’t understand.. we have been wanting this baby for a long time.. and I thought I’m not lucky enough to be real.. but I’m real” you sobbed taking the tissue from the doctor as she listened to you. “Marriage is beautiful—my dear, this baby is a blessing” she rubbed your back to comfort you and you smiled wiping away your tears.

As you walked home caressing your belly with both of your hands you couldn’t stop smiling. You couldn’t wait to tell Logan that you were carrying one of his precious little wolves and maybe more than one maybe two.

You wanted to wait until dinner to tell him, your heart was beating so fast every time you looked at him while he did some paperwork by the table. Approaching him you sneaked on his lap straddling him wrapping your legs and arms around him clinging to him. He smiled hugging you back pen between his lips reading specs on the bridge of his nose as he read through his paperwork. As silent as you were so was your crying, you were so happy. Soaking his white shirt in your tears you kissing his neck and his ear “I’m pregnant” you breathed and the pen from between his lips fell out. “What?” You nodded slowly kissing his shoulder “I’m pregnant.. and I’m so happy” you hugged him but his arms tightened around you seeking your lips. You kissed him softly meeting his gaze and you felt like your heart could jump out of your chest —

“I am real for you..”

-

𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕. 🤍

[reidingandwriting]

Like A Prayer > w.w. & l.h

Word Count: 6.2k

Pairing: Deadclaws x Reader

Warnings/Contains: Cursing, Wade having chronic pain, a little anxiety all around, and the last bit. Is pure sex tbh. We’ve got a 4 + 1 fic baby, and that plus one,,, they’re just fucking tbh.

A/N: So sorry this took ages 🧍🏻‍♀️ I’m not 100% happy with the smut at the end of the chapter But!! more smut is coming, potentially featuring sub!Logan 👀😗

Previous chapter

i.

It didn’t come as a surprise to you that Wade dealt with chronic pain. Most days it was manageable, he told you. Just a little annoying, like a new pair of shoes that squeaked when you walked. Except the shoes never got broken in and the squeaking never went away. His pain never fully went away either, his metabolism too high for any pain meds to work.

All this to say, him being in pain was just a fact of life. He was Deadpool. He had somehow by the grace of every god out there bagged not one, but two partners- one of them being the fucking Wolverine- who could tolerate his shit and even match it. He was also in pain every waking moment. Facts. But like he said, it was usually manageable.

Today was different. He knew last night it would be; your heater had crapped out last night and it would get fixed today, even if you had to go full Karen. But that didn’t help Wade now. The early morning chill seeped into his bones, muscles contracted, aching with every breath. Definitely didn’t help that he’d had a long night of Deadpooling last night.

Wade blindly reached out, feeling for the living heater known as Logan, but whined when he was greeted with a cold side of the bed. He must be out already.

“Wade? Wha’s wrong?” Your voice was thick with sleep, speech slurring slightly as you sat up.

“Just cold. And feel like my body is made of lead, fuck.” Wade groaned and you frowned.

“Do you feel up to walking? I can run a warm bath and I’ve got some epsom salts.” Walking was the last thing on Wade’s mind, but you wanted to help him. Wade could see the way you were fidgeting, your urge to take care of him taking over. Always such a mother hen. And a warm soak would probably do some good.

“That sounds perfect, thank you.” And with the smile you gave him in response, how could he say no to you?

It took him an embarrassingly long time to get to the bathroom and he was irritated with himself, but you were still so gentle with him. More patient than he deserved. You let him struggle a little to undress, which his pride appreciated. As much as he loved being babied, as much as you loved babying him, you seemed to know when he needed to do things himself. Even if it was impractical, even though your hands kept twitching, ready to jump into action and help him. You talked about some baking show you started watching last week with Logan as you ran the bath to fill the silence and Wade appreciated the distraction.

Once you were happy with your work, you helped Wade into the bathtub and you couldn’t help but smile at the content sigh that left him. Wade’s eyes slipped closed, the warmth enveloping his body, and you sat beside him, forearm dipped in the water as you held his hand.

By the time Wade was ready to leave the bath, you gave him a little space to get dressed again. Only after assuring he’d be okay by himself. You mentioned having some surprise for him in the living room you needed to set up and Wade’s curiosity won out. Besides, he did feel better after his soak.

Minutes later, he heard commotion as he exited the bathroom and the sight in front of him had him floored. The couch was covered in blankets and had been dragged up a few feet. You were on the floor, finishing up building… what was that? Wade cleared his throat and you jumped.

“Shit, you scared me! Sorry, I’m just finishing setting this up. Go on and get comfy.”

“Whatcha got there, cupcake?” Wade asked but obliged. He walked over to the couch and wrapped the cozy navy blanket around him before taking a seat. “Switching from bartending to a construction career?”

“Never. Those blue collar boys work too early for me. Much prefer my late nights and our lazy mornings. This is an electric fireplace. Can be used for ambience but also lets off a fair amount of heat, according to reviews. Apparently it could be tomorrow before our heat is fixed, and it’s been killing me watching you miserable, baby.” Wade’s heart skipped a beat at the still new pet name.

“You, you bought this for me?” Wade willed his voice to stay steady but he must have failed given the look you gave him when you looked up at him.

“Of course I did.” You sounded confused, pausing for a moment before it dawned on you. “Wade… you know I love you, right?” Wade nodded, his eyes beginning to water. “This is your home. You deserve to be comfortable and if I can do anything to help you out, I’m gonna do it.” The fireplace clicked on and almost immediately, Wade could feel the heat blowing towards the couch. His whole body felt warm, and it wasn’t from the fireplace or the blankets.

“What holy being did I deliver the fucking of a lifetime to in order to deserve you?” Wade asked. You took a seat on the couch, laying back against one of the arms and gestured for him to join you. Wade positioned himself in between your stretched out legs, his back against your chest as you both laid out.

You massaged his shoulders, pressing gentle kisses wherever you could reach as Wade turned to putty in your hands until his breathing slowed, his chest eventually rising and falling in his familiar sleeping pattern. A mid day nap never hurt anyone, you reasoned as your own eyes closed.

ii.

Logan liked watching you and Wade. No one was on the same level as him- his energy and his ability to blabber on and on unmatched- but you never seemed to have trouble keeping up. It was nice, seeing someone who could match Wade’s energy. Even on days you weren’t as hyper, you were attentive. Even during his ten millionth time rambling about the last episode of whatever trashy reality show you were watching, you listened to him intently, as if he was explaining how the inner workings of the universe.

That was one thing that took Logan a while to get used to. How attentive you were. How dedicated to the both of them you were. It was easier to watch it with you and Wade. Easy to watch Wade open and close his hand, his tell he was looking for something, the words escaping him as he asked for “the… the… FUCK you know what I’m talking about, the thingy!” and somehow, you always found the right thing. On the days Wade cooked- a rare occurrence, but he did make a delicious breakfast- you sat on the counter, ready to assist. You wore one of Wade’s shirts, one of the My Little Pony characters on the front- Pinkie Pie, Logan thought?

You and Wade were deep in conversation, your legs swinging lightly as your hands moved in the air, your words getting faster as you got more excited. Logan sat at the dining table, mug of coffee steaming in his hand and he felt your gaze land on him. How long had he been staring?

“Having a senior moment, peanut?” Wade asked and you scowled, lightly kicking at the side of Wade’s leg.

“Be nice, gremlin.” Wade maturely stuck his tongue out at you and you rolled your eyes, fondness evident in your smile, before you looked back at Logan. “You okay, bub?” Logan’s heart felt like it stopped working briefly, loving when you used his pet name for you and Wade back at him. He was not gonna read too deeply into what exactly that said about him, but it filled him with a warm, pleasant feeling.

“‘m okay. Just don’t know how you two wake up with so much energy.” Wade must have opened his mouth and you swatted his arm, causing Wade to laugh.

“It’s a curse and a blessing,” you said solemnly, the corners of your lips twitching in amusement when Logan chuckled.

“Alright, honey bears, breakfast is done. And I believe the apron does say kiss the cook, and who am I to disrespect the ancient art of a Homegoods apron?” You grabbed Wade by the frilly sides of the apron, pulling him in for a bruising kiss. Wade’s eyes opened comically wide before he melted into your touch, quite literally melting as he gripped the counter for support.

You giggled at the dazed expression on his face, making grabby hands at Logan. Logan rolled his eyes, a fondness in the motion as he walked over and pressed his lips against Wade’s. It was softer than your kiss, but passionate all the same. Logan’s hand cupped the back of Wade’s neck, holding him in place for a moment before pulling away. Wade honest to god whined, stomping his feet a few times. “Fuck, why are both of you so god damn hot?”

The three of you ate breakfast, talking happily. You had a night off and you were looking forward to a rare quiet moment with Logan. You didn’t get to have much one-on-one time with him due to your opposite schedules, unlike Wade. You loved your lazy mornings with Wade, getting to dote on him and loving all the attention he gave you.

The day went by smoothly. You had recently gotten Animal Crossing (a much calmer game after the last Mario Kart fiasco) and you all played together for a bit. You ordered lunch, none of you feeling up to cooking at the moment, and you continued watching Hell’s Kitchen. Logan fixed a hole in the wall from the Mario Kart incident, you did the dishes from breakfast and Wade folded the laundry. It was sickeningly domestic and you loved every minute of it.

After you cooked dinner and the men bickered while on dish duty, Wade pouted as he stood by the door, mask still in hand. You were on your third ‘one last kiss’ and you gave Wade an unimpressed look when you felt his hands squeeze your ass.

“It’s my good luck charm!” Wade whined and you rolled your eyes, yet pressed one more kiss to his lips. “Gonna let me cop a feel, peanut?” Wade smirked at Logan. Logan walked over, cupping Wade’s jaw in his hand before kissing him goodbye.

“Don’t let your mouth get you in trouble, bub.” Wade groaned, letting his head thud against the door before he finally had the strength to leave.

“No R rated activities without me! Miss you already.” Wade blew kisses to you and Logan both once his mask was on and the door shut behind him with a soft click. A few beats of silence passed before you turned to Logan.

“Mario Kart?”

“Let’s fucking go.” Logan grinned, a little feral and you couldn’t help but match it. Let’s fucking go.

“You cheater! You skewered Wade for cheating last time but you’re the cheater!” You swatted Logan’s chest, him shaking from laughter, and you tossed the controller aside. “Get out of my house.”

“Bub, don’t be a sore loser,” Logan said through laughter as he pulled you into his lap, pressing a few gentle kisses to your cheeks. “I was tactful.”

“You know I’m distracted by shiny things and you whipped your claws out.” You huffed and Logan chuckled, a deep sound in his chest. “Mean.”

“Yeah, ‘m the worst.” You turned to bury your face in his neck, a satisfied smile on your lips.

“Glad we agree. I think I get date night input for that one,” you said and Logan wrapped his arms around your waist, settling his hands on your thighs.

“Sounds like a plan.” Later that night, the two of you sat on a blanket, in some grassy area away from town. A can of beer in each of your hands, you tucked into his side as you looked up at the sky.

“It’s nice to see some stars for once. I know we can see some at home, but there’s so many more out here. Can actually see a few constellations.” Logan listened as you pointed out a few, occasionally sparing you a glance as you pointed at the sky. “You’re staring,” you said after a minute, looking up at him.

“You’re beautiful,” Logan said simply and you swore there was a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. “And you’re too fuckin’ good for me. Always… always treat me so gentle. Always giving me what I don’t even realize I need.” And you did. You managed to match the energy of whoever you were with- a little crazy with Wade, but quieter with Logan. Passionate all the same, but you focused on actions with Logan over your words. Your words were deliberate with him, and your actions always solidified them. He was good, you said with a kiss to his forehead. You’re more than what they made you, you whispered as you curled into him at bedtime.

“You deserve it.” You sounded so sure, like it was an objective fact and not just your opinion. Being around you and Wade had helped with how he viewed himself, however you don’t easily erase two hundred plus years of self loathing and self deprecation. You sure took it as a challenge, though.

Logan felt his eyes burn with unshed tears and he kissed the side of your head, his lips lingering. You sat outside for a while longer until the cold started to get to you, and Logan shed his jacket, wrapping it around you before you started to head home. Music played faintly over the car radio and the quiet between you two was peaceful. He was your solace, and you were his.

iii.

You had been running around the house for hours now. This was the first big get together for Wade and Logan’s friends and you felt sick to your stomach. What if they all hated you? Wade and Logan had both tried to tell you everything would be okay, but you honest to god growled at them and both men blinked in shock as they watched you walk away.

“That’s your fault, your rabies infected her.” The claws in his side were worth it, until they heard you yell.

“If you get bloodstains on my floor, you’re both on the couch for a week!” They hurried off, Wade going to change clothes and Logan getting paper towels.

In the midst of all your prepping, you didn’t realize Wade and Logan were worried for you to meet their friends. Worried they’d combine and be too much, a subconscious whisper of concern over how their mutations would come across. The rational parts of their brains knew they had nothing to worry about- you chose to be with Wade and Logan and they definitely weren’t a walk in the park. Yet still, they worried.

Turns out none of you needed to worry because within ten minutes of everyone arriving, everything was in smooth sailing. Laura, Yukio, and Ellie had quickly pulled you into their group. Soon, the living room was full of talking and laughter, like it was a reunion of lifelong friends instead of several different new friend groups mashed together.

Logan sensed your mood shift- a subtle thing, but he couldn’t help but look at you, worried. Logan excused himself from his conversation with Elektra, walking over to you. “Can I steal you for a minute?”

“Gross, go kiss on your own time.” Laura huffed, a playful glint in her eyes.

“Brat.” Logan gently butted the heel of his palm against Laura’s head, chuckling as he took you to the privacy of your room. “Everythin’ okay, bub?”

You nodded but your eyes welled up with tears all the same, and within seconds, Logan pulled you into his chest and your shoulders shook as you silently cried.

“See, you’re saying you’re okay, but your crying has me thinkin’ otherwise.” You let out a wet laugh at his reply and you looked up at him.

“I’m so happy,” you sobbed and Logan brushed your hair back. “I’ve never… never really had a family before. Yeah, I had my parents but they were absent more often than not and then I was still just a kid when they left. I’ve lived in this house for years all by myself, then I made Wade. Then you came along, and everyone out there. I’ve always wanted this and now I finally have it.” Oh, and if that didn’t make Logan’s heart shatter for you.

A soft knock at the door interrupted and Logan looked over to see Wade walking in. “Heard someone was hogging my favorite human and- oh, honey.” Wade cooed when he saw your face. “Happy or sad tears?”

“So happy,” you whispered, opening your arm for Wade to join you. Wade quickly situated himself with the two of you and Wade pressed a kiss to the top of your head. The three of you stood together for a little longer as you pulled yourself together and you eventually pried yourself free. “Do I look like I just sobbed my eyes out?”

“So much,” Wade teased and you scowled up at him. Wade wiped under your eyes with his thumb before kissing your forehead, cheeks, nose, then lips. “You look beautiful. Hiding it very well.”

“Let’s go back. Shitty hosts we are, huh?”

The rest of the night went smoothly, all things considered. Somehow you managed to cook enough for there to be leftovers, and everyone settled in the living room as they ate and talked. You had been pulled into Wade’s lap in your search for a spot to sit and your free hand traced over Logan’s.

“How is your sanity in tact with these two?” Ellie asked and you heard the teasing tone to her words, but instinctively, you felt a surge of protectiveness crash over you at her lighthearted jab. Logan nudged your hand with his own and you took a long, slow breath.

“It’s easy,” you said with a shrug. “They’re family. Never had one of those before, but I feel like the luckiest person in the universe to be able to love them and be loved by them. They’re pains in the ass, but they’re my pains in the ass.”

“Oh, cupcake, that is the sweetest thing you could ever say about me,” Wade wailed dramatically, covering your cheek in kisses. And that was that. Neither Wade or Logan left your side for the rest of the night, even after the guests left. You stayed on the couch for a while, basking in the love you felt from your family. Family. What a wild concept that was.

iv.

Date night. An odd concept to Wade and Logan, but neither had the heart to shut you down with how excited you were.

You knew the basics of Logan’s past- he wasn’t a date night kind of guy. He had a long history of casual partners, but his relationship experience was… limited to say the least. Pairing that with his introverted nature and general dislike of being around people, he hadn’t been on many dates. None that he could remember.

And then there was Wade. Wade had dated once before, but since that ended… since he looked the way that he did, he kept his outside time limited to Deadpool time. If he braved the real world without his mask, it was typically at Sister Margaret’s or the occasional slow night at your bar. He may sound vain, but he was fairly attractive before his… transformation. You and Logan looked past his appearance, you frequently complimenting him and Logan giving him compliments every now and then that genuinely made him blue screen. But his insecurities ran further than surface level, and outside of the safety of his partners and his friend group, he felt uncomfortable showing his face. Even with his guard dogs, he could feel every double take or stare.

So when you mentioned a date, both men were apprehensive. But you promised you’d find something that would meet their comfort levels and if at any point anyone felt uncomfortable, you’d leave. End of, point blank. No questions asked. Hesitantly, they agreed and the pure excitement that lit up your expression- mixed with a bit of hope- made *some* of their worries melt away.

You were secretive about most of the planning, wanting to keep an element of surprise to the date. All you told them was you’d have privacy and they just needed to dress comfortably. The days passed and the time of your date approached, and Wade couldn’t help but feel a little sick to his stomach. Logan expressed his anxieties differently than Wade, him channeling his nerves with projects outside. Your small lawn had never looked better and your back porch had turned into a screened in porch, something you had nearly cried over from the joy you felt. Wade busied himself with his ‘housewife’ duties, laundry and tidying.

The night finally came and you had situated yourself in the drivers seat of a SUV you rented. No matter how much Wade pestered you, you didn’t relent and tell him why you had rented the vehicle when you had a perfectly fine car. You had been driving for a little while, out of the city, past the suburbs, until the flux of neighborhood lights had turned into stars littering the sky. Logan sniffed, getting a hint of food stored in the back of the vehicle and he jumped when you poked his side.

“Quit trying to spoil it!” You playfully narrowed your eyes at him, a lightness to your tone he hadn’t heard in a while. You were excited, like a kid in a toy store, and he felt his own smile grow as he looked at you. Wade leaned over the center console, whining.

“I feel so neglected back here! I still think I could sit in your lap, peanut.” Wade huffed and Logan rolled his eyes as Wade draped himself over Logan’s shoulder.

“Codependent.” Logan scoffed but made no effort to move him.

“And what about it?” Wade nudged his nose against Logan’s cheek and you smiled, watching the two of them out of your peripheral.

“Alright, I think we’re here!” You pulled into the empty grassy field, driving down the dirt path.

“Sweetness, lovingly, where the hell is here?” Wade asked. “Because it looks a little run down.”

“Patience, ye of little faith. You’ll see.” You drove further down the path and moments later, the drive in theater made itself known. There were a few other cars but it was mostly empty tonight, something you were happy to see. “It’s not as extravagant as I wanted,” you started as you parked the car. “But I figured it would be a good start to going out in public. Still private enough, but a step forward.” You didn’t meet either of their gazes, your fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “Is, um, is it okay?”

Logan moved first, unbuckling you and pulling you into his lap. He hugged you close and you curled into his chest, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder. “I love it. Thank you.”

“You did great, cupcake.” Wade climbed across the console, awkwardly positioning himself to join the hug. “It’s perfect.” You quickly kissed Logan, then Wade, then clapped your hands lightly. “Let’s get set up.”

You got to work. You laid the back seats down then propped all the pillows up and laid out all the blankets. Wade got the radio set up while Logan helped you set the food up. You had packed some sandwiches, some other little snacks you knew everyone liked, and you made a popcorn run- ignoring Wade’s teasing ‘I thought dogs couldn’t eat corn’ directed at Logan and the playful growl that followed.

You piled into the back of the SUV, you taking your spot in the middle of the blanket pile you made. It was a bit of a tight fit, but the three of you curled together anyways, watching the (kind of shitty to be honest) horror movie that played. You spent the time together making comments about the movie, laughing and quietly talking for the duration of the movie. It felt nice to be out of the house, but normal at the same time. By the end of the double feature, you were half asleep as you looked up at Logan through your lashes.

Logan leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, a shaky breath escaping him. “This is the most effort anyone has ever put in for me. ‘ppreciate it and you so much.”

“Happy to do it. Love you both so much.” You buried your face in Logan’s chest, missing the look he and Wade exchanged.

“We love you too.”

+1

You were going to die. You were certain of it. Between the two of them, you were going to die and be revived- just to die again. But fuck, there was no better way to go. Sitting in Wade’s lap, only the thin layers of your underwear separating you, kissing him while Logan sat behind you. Kissing down your neck and hands roaming your body as if trying to memorize every detail about you.

You whined as you rutted against Wade’s lap, a broken sound as Logan’s thumbs brushed over your nipples. You arched into his touch, wanting- no, needing- more.

“Fuck, enough fucking foreplay. Fuck me,” you huffed and Logan’s deep chuckle followed.

“Impatient, aren’t ya, needy girl?” Logan’s breath fanned against your neck, causing your skin to erupt in chills. “I think we’re just getting started. Aren’t we, Mouth?” Logan looked up at Wade, a feral gleam in his eyes. Wade’s own eyes darkened, a strangled groan leaving his mouth.

“Fuck, Wolvie. Alright, let’s get ‘er prepped.” The two of them worked seamlessly, adjusting you into a more comfortable position. Wade leaned back against the headboard, you laid back against his chest. Your legs were spread, propped over Wade’s own, and Logan knelt in between your legs.

“Need you closer,” Logan grabbed your legs, propping them up against your shoulders and you whimpered at the feeling of his breath against your core. You clenched around nothing, squirming as Wade’s hands trailed up and down your body. With Logan’s help, you shimmied out of your underwear, letting them fall discarded to the floor.

Logan kissed up your thighs, moving closer and closer to where you wanted him. You bucked your hips, Logan’s grip tightening on your hips. “Patience, baby. Not going anywhere for a while.” Logan punctuated his sentence spreading your lips and licking a fat strip over your hole.

The moan that left you was Loud, your eyes rolling back into your head as you threw your head back against Wade’s chest. Wade’s hands cupped your breasts, gently squeezing and rolling your nipples in between his fingers. Wade leaned down, kissing the corner of your ear and whispering.

“Gonna be so good for us, aren’t you, sweetheart? Gonna let Logan have his fun with you, then I’ll have my turn. Not gonna be leaving this bed for a while, not until we’ve pulled so many orgasms from you.” You moaned, breath hitching as Logan lapped at your cunt, your hand gripping his hair. A low rumble left him, the vibrations shooting up your spine and your thighs squeezed against his head.

“Wanna be good, gonna be so good for you,” you said. Logan plunged his tongue in your hole and you swore you saw stars. Logan’s nose brushed against your clit as he ate your pussy like a man starved. You had figured he was good with his mouth but holy fuck. Pleased noises left him frequently, your moans and whines only spurring him on and you gripped at his hair at would had to be a painful hold, but Logan seemed to get off on it.

“Fuck, Lo- feels so fucking good. Holy shit, you feel so good. Make me feel so good,” you babbled and Logan looked up at you through his lashes, pupils dilated and eyes a little hazy, and the sight (mixed with Wade’s fingers rubbing at your clit with expertise) had you clenching down on his tongue, your thighs squeezing his head as he rode you through your first orgasm.

You honest to god pouted when Logan moved away until he crawled up to you, kissing you with such passion it made you dizzy. His tongue pressed into your mouth and the taste of you, mixed with the lingering alcohol on his lips from dinner, was intoxicating. His lips were slightly swollen when he finally parted and you knew you looked fucked out already.

“Alright, switcheroo time. About to Explode over here.” Wade spoke and to make his point, he rubbed his hard cock against your ass. You shifted, moving to straddle Wade, slowly rolling your hips down against his cock that strained against his boxers. You rubbed your hands down his chest, to his stomach, then hooked your fingers in the waistband.

“Poor baby, so neglected.” You cooed, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. You worked his boxers down, tossing them aside. “Whatcha think, pretty boy?” Wade shivered from the nickname, and you ran your hand up and down his thigh. “Does my favorite mouthy merc need my mouth? Whatever you want, baby.” One hand on Wade’s thigh, the other on his cheek.

“Mouth. Please, fucking need your mouth.” You nodded, looking over your shoulder at Logan as you slowly pumped Wade’s dick.

“Think you can handle prepping me?” You teased, smirking at Logan’s responding downright wolfish grin.

“Get comfortable, bub. Think I’m gonna get at least one more out of ya before I even consider fucking you.” And hot damn if that didn’t make you wet. You turned back to Wade, patting his thigh.

“On your back, prop your legs up. That’s it, good boy.” You snagged a pillow, positioning it under your stomach as you positioned yourself. While Logan had him beat, Wade certainly wasn’t lacking in the downstairs department and you barely stopped yourself from whining at the thought of the both of them stuffing you later.

Blinking once, you licked a stripe up the underside of Wade’s cock, smiling at the needy moan that fell from his lips. One of Wade’s hands fisted the sheets, the other moving down to grip your hair.

“Fuuuuck, fuck.” Wade moaned. You took Wade’s tip in your mouth, suckling softly, moaning when you felt Logan’s finger prodded at your entrance.

“Looks like all I needed to shut you both up,” Logan’s tone was taunting as he pushed his finger deeper, “was occupy your mouth. And get her mouth on you.” Logan moved his finger in and out as you moved your head further down Wade’s length.

“Oh, fuck off. Fucking- hnng- mouth from the gods. Shit!” Wade cursed as you hollowed your cheeks, sucking. Your nose brushed against his pelvis and you looked up at Wade through half lidded eyes.

“Fucking hell, cupcake, don’t- shit- don’t look at me like that if you want me to last.” You moaned when Logan added a second finger, Wade’s hips bucking as he felt the vibrations.

God, Wade finally fucking died and went to heaven- he could spend the rest of his life like this. The warmth of your mouth around his cock, muffled moans escaping you as you sucked his soul out of him through his dick, Logan finger fucking you from behind. Your stomach tightened, a sign you were close to cumming again, and you whined as you pushed back against Logan’s fingers.

“Gonna cum for me again, princess? Think you deserve it?” Logan asked, voice taunting as he brushed against your g-spot, the pressure almost causing you to buckle. Your pleas were muffled by the cock in your mouth and you whimpered. “What do you think, Red? I think it’s fair to make ‘er wait, until you’ve had your turn.” Logan set a relentless pace, fingers hitting just right every time, and you squirmed, jerking forward when Logan’s hand slapped your ass.

Wade moaned his agreement, hips bucking into your mouth. One of your hands held his hips, the other moving up to fondle his balls and Wade started to pant.

“Fuck, ‘m close, just like that, baby, shit!” You picked up the pace, and after one, two, three more bobs, Wade’s hands found the back of your head, holding you in place as he rode out his orgasm. You moaned as you swallowed, letting Wade pull you off. A few seconds passed before Wade was on you again, his lips against yours.

You kissed him the best you could, in between the breathy moans and whines as your orgasm got closer. Wade tilted your head up, latching onto your neck and pressing bites and sucking at the sensitive skin.

One thing you noticed quickly about the men was their love of leaving marks on you. Hickeys and scratch marks didn’t last long on Wade or Logan, their healing quickly removing the marks, but you? They lingered and it drove them crazy.

The room filled with needy whines, gasps, and a high pitched moan as your second orgasm crashed through you, and Logan continued pumping his fingers. “That’s it, darling, good girl.”

“Lo,” you whined, panting as Logan pulled out his fingers. He caressed your hip as he shifted towards Wade. A single look was all it took and Wade’s mouth was open, happily sucking Logan’s fingers clean.

“Turns out all I need to get your mouth to stop running is stuff it. Finally found a good use for that mouth, huh, Mouth?” Logan asked and Wade nodded, eyes glazed over.

You huffed from where you were underneath them and Logan squeezed your hip. “Feeling needy? How do you want us?”

And that’s how Logan ended on his back, you on top of him, and Wade behind you. You were so fucking full, impossibly full, but god you wanted more. You needed more and you raked your nails down his chest, throwing your head back against. “Fuck me like you mean it, Logan. Fill me up, make me scream so the entire street knows who I belong to.”

Going for his possessiveness was a cheap shot, but by the way his eyes darkened, a low snarl leaving him, god damn was it effective. The grip he held on your thighs was bruising, Logan and Wade thrusting into you in tandem. Wade’s chest was against your back, whispering in your ear.

“Fucking feel so good. Made for me, made for us. Gonna ruin you for anyone else, you’re ours.” Wade nipped at your ear, tugging the skin gently.

“Like I’d ever go anywhere else. You’re both mine, forever. Would, fuck!, would be happy staying in between the two of you forever.” Logan leaned up, wrapping his lips around your nipples and you arched into his touch with a properly pornographic moan. “Where, where else would I go?” You tugged Logan’s hair, tilting your head to the side so Wade had better access to your neck.

The room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, moans and whines. Logan groaned deep in his throat, his thrusts getting a little sloppier but sharper- he was close. Based on the way Wade’s grip tightened on you, his babbling being replaced by needy noises and curses, your -god, you’ve lost count at this point- orgasm approaching.

“Fuck! Fuck, love you both so much. My boys, all mine. Close, shit, so close.” An animalistic growl left Logan, Wade biting down on your shoulder, and you felt both men twitch in you. “Fill me up, make me yours.” Your babbling was cut off by a broken moan, clenching down as your orgasm hit. Your vision went white, truly seeing stars, and it felt like you ascended from your body.

You came to a moment later, laid against Logan’s chest and Wade’s leg draped over the both of you, face buried into your shoulder blades. “There she is,” Logan’s voice was rough, scratchy, but gentle all the same. “Feel better now?”

“Don’t think I’ll be able to walk for a week,” you said. You shifted slightly, looking between both Logan and Wade with a happy smile.

A low rumble filled the room and holy fuck, Logan was purring. A rough sound but soothing all the same. “Fuck, I love you both so much.” You leaned over to kiss Wade, then Logan, then leaned back against the pillows as your eyes closed. You and Wade spoke softly, Logan occasionally chipping in but happy to listen, his purr being all the input needed.

The universe sure had a weird way of working. The three of you having rough starts, losing those you loved, believing you were destined to spend the rest of your lives alone. Then Wade stumbled into your life, Logan begrudgingly joining him, and now… you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

-

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Broken Circuits

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader , Oscar Piatri x Fem!reader, Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri

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F1 Masterlist

The paddock was alive with the familiar buzz of anticipation as mechanics made last-minute adjustments and engineers hunched over their laptops, analyzing data. It was a scene I had grown accustomed to, yet today, the excitement felt like a distant echo. Logan had been struggling all season, and with each race, his frustration had grown.

Standing by the Williams garage, I watched as Logan stepped out of the car after qualifying. His face was a mask of disappointment, and I knew from the slump of his shoulders that he had once again qualified last. My heart ached for him. He had worked so hard, dedicated every ounce of his energy to this sport he loved, and yet, the results just weren't coming.

"Hey," I said softly as he approached. "You'll get them next time. I believe in you."

He didn't respond, just walked past me with a curt nod. I followed him, trying to offer some comfort. "Logan, please talk to me."

He spun around, eyes flashing with anger. "What do you want me to say, Y/N? That I'm fine? That it's okay? Because it's not! I'm sick of losing!"

I took a step back, shocked by the intensity of his outburst. "I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. We'll get through this together."

He laughed bitterly, running a hand through his hair. "You don't get it, do you? I don't need you to tell me it'll be okay. I need results. I need to stop being a joke on this grid."

"You're not a joke," I insisted, reaching out to touch his arm. He pulled away, the hurt in his eyes cutting me to the core.

"Just leave me alone, Y/N. I can't deal with this right now," he snapped.

I felt a lump form in my throat, tears stinging my eyes. "Logan, please don't shut me out. I love you, and I want to help."

"Help? How can you help?" His voice was rising, drawing the attention of a few team members nearby. "You can't make me faster. You can't change anything. Just stop trying to fix this!"

His words hit me like a physical blow, and I felt my vision blur as tears finally spilled over. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I just want to be here for you."

Logan's face softened for a moment, but then the anger returned. "You know what? Maybe you're the problem. Every time you're here, I don't get good results. Maybe you're bad luck."

The words hung in the air, heavy and painful. I couldn't believe he had just said that. "Logan, you don't mean that."

"Maybe I do," he said coldly. "Maybe I regret ever giving you a chance. Maybe I hate you. Maybe we should just break up."

I stood there, stunned, as he walked away. My heart shattered into pieces, the pain of his rejection overwhelming. I turned and walked away, the tears streaming down my face. I found a quiet corner near the back of the paddock, sinking to the ground and hugging my knees to my chest. The sounds of the busy racetrack faded into the background as I let myself cry, the hurt and confusion washing over me.

"Y/N?" a familiar voice called softly. I looked up to see Oscar standing there, his expression filled with concern.

"Oscar," I managed to say through my tears. "He said... he said he regrets ever giving me a chance. He said he hates me and... he broke up with me."

Oscar knelt beside me, pulling me into a comforting hug. "He doesn't mean it, Y/N. Logan's just frustrated. He's under so much pressure, and he's taking it out on the person he cares about the most."

"But it hurts," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I thought we were a team."

"You are," Oscar said gently. "When you're not around, Logan's always wishing you were. He loves you, Y/N. He's just lost right now."

We sat there in the fading light, Oscar's presence a small comfort in the midst of my heartbreak. After a while, he stood up, offering me his hand. "Come on, let's get you somewhere more comfortable."

I nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead me away. As we walked, I saw Logan in the distance, his expression conflicted. Oscar's grip on my hand tightened as we passed him, a silent promise that he would take care of me.

Later that evening, as the paddock quieted down, Oscar found Logan in the team's hospitality area. "We need to talk," he said firmly, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced by a steely resolve.

Logan looked up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with regret. "Oscar, I—"

"No," Oscar interrupted. "You don't get to apologize to me. You need to fix this with Y/N. You hurt her, Logan. You pushed away the one person who's always been there for you."

Logan hung his head, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. "I know. I was an idiot. I let my frustration get the better of me, and I took it out on her. I need to make it right."

"You do," Oscar agreed. "But it's not going to be easy. She's really hurt, Logan. You're going to have to work hard to earn her trust back."

Logan nodded, determination replacing the regret in his eyes. "I will. I'll do whatever it takes."

The next day, I was in my hotel room, still trying to process everything that had happened, when there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Logan standing there, looking more vulnerable than I had ever seen him.

"Y/N," he began, his voice shaking. "I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I never should have said those things. I don't hate you. I love you more than anything."

I looked at him, the pain still fresh in my heart. "Logan, you really hurt me. I don't know if I can just forgive you like that."

"I understand," he said, taking a step closer. "But please, give me a chance to make it right. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back."

I hesitated, the memories of his hurtful words still lingering. But I also remembered the good times, the love and support we had shared. "Okay," I said finally. "I'll give you a chance. But you have to prove to me that you mean it. You have to earn my trust back."

Logan nodded, his eyes filled with determination. "I will, Y/N. I promise."

As we stood there, the weight of the past few days slowly lifting, I realized that love wasn't always easy. It was messy and complicated, filled with highs and lows. But as long as we were willing to fight for it, to work through the pain and come out stronger on the other side, it was worth it.

---

taglist:

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[sazwritesstuff]

Late at Night (in the light of the tv screen) | Logan x afab!reader

Logan comes home early after being away on a mission. You're sleepy, maybe a little grumpy for being disturbed, but that doesn't stop you for welcoming him home safe. Pairing: Logan x fem!reader | Fandom: X-Men | Word Count: 2k | posted on AO3 here A/N: this started off as a cute short drabble and then it turned into smut (this is the first time I've written smut btw, sorry if it's bad) | minors do not interact! TW: sexual content/sexual references, swearing, unprotected sex, penis in vagina sex

You had gone to bed hours ago, lying in bed all alone with Logan off on a mission. It wasn’t the first time that he had been gone for a few days but it never got any easier. The man was meant to return late the next day, most likely getting back by late afternoon or early evening if it had all gone according to plan.

You were always a little worried when Logan went on a mission. At least this time he had left as part of a team. Sure, you still worried about him but it put your mind just a tiny bit more at ease knowing that he wasn’t alone. But it hadn’t stopped you from being up for far longer than usual, tossing and turning with thoughts of all the things that could go wrong.

Anxious images of Logan bruised, bloody, with broken bones kept swimming around your mind.

No matter how many times he came back in one piece you couldn’t help but worry.

It never got any easier.

Trying to quieten the anxious thoughts in your mind you had put the TV on low, your bedroom dark except for the colour leaking from the screen. Providing a constant buzz that helped stop your racing thoughts for just long enough that you could actually sleep.

You weren’t sure if you’d been asleep for minutes or hours when your bed suddenly sank to one side startling you awake. Eyes flying open. Your body sliding towards Logan’s warm body where the mattress dipped. Stopping when your side bumped against his.

“Thought you weren’t getting back until tomorrow.” You grumbled, snuggling your head into Logan’s shoulder. Sleep still clinging to your mind.

He chuckled, his arms slipping around you cradling your body to his “Was meant to.” he mumbled into your hair.

You hummed, feeling yourself beginning to fall back to sleep again. Your body relaxing finally.

That was until you felt Logan shift again besides you, moving you so that you were now lying on your back as he placed his head on your tummy. All the air flew out of your lungs in an instant. Your eyes flying open once more “Logan!” you hissed giving his hair a tug with your hand.

The man was heavy. You could’ve sworn that Logan’s big metal skull was getting heavier by the second!

“What?” he mumbled, pressing a quick kiss to a slither of skin peeking out from your t-shirt. Ignoring you struggling under his weight.

Wheezing you let out a “Get off!” giving his head a quick smack.

With a huff, Logan slipped his arms around you and rolled so you were now lying on top of him again. “There. Now, go to sleep, y/n.”

“I was about to until your heavy dumbass head nearly killed me.”

“I can think of a different kind of head that’ll make you choke, baby.”

“You’re such a pig!”

He hummed, placing a light kiss on the top of your head “But you love me anyway.”

“Yeah, when you’re not trying to kill.” You grumbled. Snuggling deeper into Logan’s embrace.

He let out a bark of laughter, jostling you as he told you to “Go to sleep baby.”

“I was until you woke me up.”

“I can leave if you want-” he said beginning to raise from the bed.

“Don’t you dare!” you say sitting up, your voice softening as you let out “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“Hmm. I’ve been thinking about you all day too.”

Making a split-second decision you let out “Fuck it. Take off your clothes.” Quickly pulling your t-shirt up over your head.

“I thought you wanted to go to sleep?” Logan said smirking up at you. His eyes quickly flicking down to your exposed chest before going back to your face.

Throwing a leg over Logan’s hips, you settle yourself onto his lap. You leant down, whispering against his lips “I changed my mind.” Pressing your lips to his in a demanding kiss. Searching. Yearning. Filled with pent up desire and frustration.

Lips wild and hungry. Both of you fighting for dominance. Logan’s tongue invading your mouth. One of his hands tanging in your hair as the other dug into the back of your thigh. Pulling you closer.

You could feel his hard length beneath you. Pressing into you.

Tugging at Logan’s tank top, you broke the kiss, pulling it over his head. His lips moving to kiss down your neck as you dropped the fabric to the floor. Leaving open wet kisses on your skin. He kissed and licked a path towards your breasts. Taking one nipple in his mouth, sucking, nipping, licking at the soft bud making the soft flesh hard and taunt under his ministrations. With his free hand Logan pulled at your other nipple between his fingers, ripping a moan from your throat.

“Logan.” You mewled, your nails digging into Logan’s shoulders.

“Tell me what you need baby.” He said looking up at you, flicking your nipple with his tongue before moving across to the other nipping at the bud with his teeth. Sucking, nipping, licking. Suck. Nip. Lick. Again and again. Building up a steady rhythm with his tongue.

“You.” You panted. Hips rolling against Logan’s hardness, your shorts and his boxers the only barrier separating the two of you “Please. I need you inside of me.”

He hummed, ignoring your demand, concentrating on your breast. Keeping up the pattern he’d created against your skin.

“Logan.” You whined rolling your hips on top of him. Causing a groan to escape Logan’s lips.

“Patience, baby.” Logan wrapped his arms around your body and rolled you onto your back. Leaning down he connected his lips to yours. Pulling your shorts to the side he quickly slipped a finger between your wet folds, gathering the wetness from your entrance and beginning to rub soft, slow circles on your clit.

Reaching one hand down you began stroking Logan over his boxers, feeling the hard, hot length of him under your palm, making him moan above you.

“Not yet, darling,” he grabbed your hand pulling it away “I want to watch you come on my fingers first.”

“But Logan-” you began to whine, stopped by the demanding kiss Logan placed on your lips.

“Be a good girl and come on my fingers, then you can have my cock baby.” Moving his finger over your clit just how you liked it, increasing the pressure just a little more and making you squirm. Rolling your hips to meet his hand, he smirked and asked “Does that feel good, baby?”

You nodded biting your bottom lip. Your eyes drifting shut as pleasure coursed through your body.

“Hmm. Keep your eyes on me, can you do that for me?” his voice coming out huskier, betraying just how affected he was.

“Feels- So good” you breathed, your voice breaking, hooded eyes latching onto Logan’s above you. “Please.”

“Please what?” you tried to chase his fingers, grinding your cunt even more on to Logan’s hand.

“Logan. Please. Please. More. You make me-” you gasped as you felt Logan shift above and insert two fingers inside “feel so good!”

“Fuck.” He breathed “You’re gripping my fingers so tight for me, darling.”

“Logan, I’m gonna, fuck-” you dug your nails into his shoulders “I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me. Come on, baby, that’s it. Cum all over my fingers.” At Logan’s encouragement you came with a shout, chanting his name as you threw you head back in ecstasy. Logan’s fingers didn’t stop until you reached down and pushed his hand away as you began to feel overstimulated. Your body still shaking from your orgasm.

Logan brought his fingers up to his mouth, moaning as he sucked them clean. “You taste so good.”

You giggled, threading your hands through his hair and pulling him down for a kiss. Tasting yourself on his lips.

You felt Logan trail a hand down your body reaching down to pull your shorts past your hips and down your legs. Lifting you hips to help him slide the clothing off, kicking the offending fabric off of your foot.

From his head you racked your fingernails down his back, one of your hands going to the waist band of his boxers slipping them down his thighs. Freeing Logan’s cock from the confining fabric.

You felt Logan rub the head of his cock along your folds. Collecting the wetness there before placing it at your entrance and slowly sinking inside of you.

You moaned. Shifting beneath him, raising your hips to meet his. No matter how many times the two of you had sex you never got used to the thickness of his cock stretching you.

“Fuck, baby, you’re gripping me so good. So tight. So fucking good.” He pulled out, leaving just the tip inside, before thrusting forwards inching further inside of you. “Perfect fucking pussy.” Setting a slow, languid pace Logan thrust deeper and deeper inside of you.

Pressing kisses against his collarbones you ran your nails up and down his back. Leaving red scratches on his skin that vanished as quickly as they appeared.  

Gripping your legs Logan moved them up over his shoulders, pressing you deeper into the mattress, hitting a new deeper angle inside of you. His thrusts picking up pace. The sounds of skin slapping against skin filling the room creating a symphony as you both moaned and panted.

You could feel yourself clenching around Logan’s cock. Tighter and tighter. Closer and closer. Your second orgasm so close.

Leaving one hand on his back, nails digging into his skin, you reached down and began rubbing your clit. Gasping as you sloppily tried to meet Logan’s thrusts with your own.

“Fuck,” Logan breathed feeling you tighten even more around his cock as he looked down at where you were joined, his cock thrusting in and out “Good girl. Rub that clit, baby. Rub your clit for me. Want you to cum on my cock.” Thrusting deeper and harder into you, hips slapping together.

“Such a good girl. Rubbing your clit as I fuck that pretty, little pussy. Such a good girl for me, aren’t you baby? You want to come on my cock?” you nodded, words escaping you, “Then cum. Cum for me pretty girl. Cum on my cock.”

The knot in your belly tightening, tightening, tightening… and then it snapped. Eyes rolling into your head. Body pulled taut. Scratching at Logan’s back. Fingers still rubbing your clit. Faster and faster.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He groaned above you. Pounding into you.

The grip of your cunt on Logan’s cock sending him over the edge. Logan’s thrust turning short and a little sloppy. Groaning your name as you felt his hot, thick cum flooding your insides.

Stopping after a few more thrusts before holding himself inside of you. Your body shaking with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

The two of you panting. Sweating and out of breath, Logan leant his forehead against yours. Keeping most of his weight off of you, his arms braced on either side of your head, he pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “Such a good girl for me.”

Looking up at Logan, the light of the TV screen illuminating his features, you smiled. Sleepy, happy, content. The two of you out of breath and sweaty. Your body felt like a limp noodle.

Whining as Logan shifted, pulling his cock out of your slit, moving to get off the bed.

You watched him as he moved off the bed. Your eyes straying to his naked backside as he left the room.

Seconds later you heard running water in the bathroom before Logan padded back inside your bedroom with a wet washcloth in hand. Kneeling on the bed beside you he quick wiped up the mess he’d made before throwing the cloth into the wash basket by the door and lying back down next to you. Curling his arms around you and pulling your body to his.

Pressing a kiss to the top of your crown he mumbled into your hair “Goodnight, love.”

“Night, Lo.”

[icarusredwings]

I have problems incorporating Ellie because the comics/movie timeline does not link up, and I've had a hell of a time fixing the Xmen movie/Logan Timeline (because it has to make sense in my story damn it) I'd have to retcon wade banging Carmelita Camacho when he was broken up with Vanessa, and how do you do that tastefully?

So what is your opinion on how to do this?

Does it work in cannon?

Thoughts in general?

Okay so- Canonly to the movieverse, It's said that Ellie (Eleanor camacho) will not be in this universe, this is probably because Ryan doesn't like the idea of dipping on his daughter seeing in many comic universes, while he does take in Ellie he quickly realizes how crap of a parent he is, always on the run, always in danger, and he dosn't want her in danger (most times) so he leaves her with an adoptive family. He visits often, gives her a phone and tells her to call him any day or night for anything at all and he'll awnser, he plays with her often but has to leave half way through almost every time, her adoptive parents sometimes dislike Wade (for obvious reasons) but they let him come with them trick or treating and to her birthday party.

In the comics Ellie also is a big fan of Spiderman and peter meets Ellie a few times, saying he wasnt aware Wade even had kids, in which he responds that he wasnt either until a couple years ago. This is said as a joke since Ellie is only about 6 when this is said, but its true, Ellie was already born by the time he knew anything about her existence.

He even told her mother that she couldn't possibly be his because she's too beautiful. All in all, you can see him struggling so hard to balance his mental health, his work, his daughter, and just trying to live enough FOR her. She becomes his anchor, but really... really.. struggles to meet the standard of a "good father." To us, we can see how hard he's trying, but Ellie, her father, lies, doesn't come when he says he will, and all an all? Gave her away. It's a gorgeous story, really, depending on which one you read. Older Ellie eventually takes on the legacy of Deadpool in one universe and tells people loud and proud that she's Ellie Wilson and that she IS deadpool (similar to how Laura IS Wolverine).

Alright. Canon done and done.

Now. As the Board of Headcanons thoughts and opinions.

Yes- Ellie would be conceived during the time Vanessa and him are broken up, so somewhere between movie 2 and 3. I *Think* that it's implied that Wade went back to make Vanessa alive again, shooting himself in wolverine orgins, trying to kill baby hitler but failing, etc and then its implied (I think) that Cable goes back home after that seeing as in the 3rd movie the TVA says that he abused his powers with it and Wade mentions that he dosn't have it anymore. That he "smashed it" or something but Wade is a known liar. He probably returned it to Cable (or idk maybe he really did wreck it. Dropped it off the freeway or something- but then they probably could just fix it again idk) so he could go home to his daughter.

Im not entirely sure on the deadpool movieverse timeline, but I wanna say it's a good 6 years in between movies / how long he's been broken up with Vanessa? So yes, they totally could have had Ellie in the plot since Carmelita was a hookup. One that kind of was a bit Eeehhh if you ask me anyway since she only does it because she thinks she's about to die and wants to have sex again before that. He takes off his mask, and she runs off, probably leaving Wade feeling way worse then before hand.

Now I haven't read this specific comic, but she claims that she couldn't find deadpool for the entire pregnancy (accurate) and wanted to give Ellie up for adoption or she wanted child support (?) So Wade took her instead.

You could very easily label her as a sympathy/ rebound hook up from Vanessa but again, movie would be more complicated if he came back to vanessa with a whole kid so thats why they decided to keep her out (and child acting laws/pay probably)

There would infact have to be a whole argument of "Wade where the fuck did you get a kid!?" "Uhhhh shes mine" "no take her back where you found her thats someones daughter you nutcase!" "No no- I mean... shes literally mine.."

Which would do well inna fic where Vanessa and Wade stay broken up, because If my ex boyfriend had a whole kid with someone else I doubt it would be easy to get back together- but if you want it to where Vanessa is still together-ish with Wade then you will have to do something where Vanessa becomes kind of like a step mom.

With how young Ellie is- you could probably write it to where she fully believes V is her mom in the first place. The timeline makes sense that way, I think. You would just have to work out the whole "My boyfriend is having a massive mental identity crisis and is extremely depressed to the point he's neglecting his daughter"

And THAT would be the issue. Does Wade neglect Ellie sometimes? Yes. Is it for her own good? Yes. Would he EVER do anything to personally hurt Ellie? You're out of your god damn mind if you think yes. He does not want to be like his father so he would never hit her. Shout at her? Sure. Regret it? Instantly.

I also can't see Vanessa leaving Wade in such a dark place with Ellie and Al either. She definitely wouldn't leave a child in a home where she wouldn't he cared for- So you would have to have V take Ellie which would lead to Wade being MORE depressed, and maybe thats why he's trying to get his life together so badly? To get his daughter back?

Because normal dads have normal jobs right? Hence the car salesman gig. Maybe hes saving up to move to somewhere so Els and him can have a cleaner, safer, bigger apartment because Obviously sharing a bed with Al makes Vanessa look at him with somewhat suprise and pity. V would want him to get a place where Els can sleep safely and have her own space. Even if its their own apartment and wade gives Els the room and he sleeps on the couch, as long as shes his priority.

V taking Ellie from him would be a major eye opener for him to get his shit together.

(He also would probably call her all the time to talk to ellie and demand that Ellie dosn't meet Vs boyfriends or hook ups because HE'S her dad, not them, he'd kill a bitch if Ellie called them dad)

After the movie, when Logan and Laura are there, Wade can look at her and ask if he can have Ellie back now, and she tells him "Lets start with weekends." Because she can tell just how much he's actually gotten it together but hes not quite ready to have her full time again.

As time goes on with Logan, They would eventually have to move but yes, in about 6 months time he would get Ellie back and have his little family that consistents of a mommy, 2 daddys, a dog, 3 daughters, and a grandma.

[glamdringwlv]

Unchain my heart: Part 5. Lose control.

Unchain my heart series. Logan Howlett x oc!fmale Summary: Mia Green has grown up in a lab, subjected to numerous experiments due to her status as a mutant. When she manages to escape, Charles Xavier takes her in at his mansion, giving her a new life and helping her regain her memories. However, the arrival of a new resident at the mansion threatens to destabilize everything she believed.

Warnings: Violence, foul language, a mix of various canons, X-Men movies, X-Men animated series, X-men comics.

When she returned to her room, it felt empty. Everything she had just seen, the man's words... it all echoed in the walls of her battered mind.

She was still damp, though the warmth from the fireplace and Logan had shielded her from the cold of the lake. The warmth from Logan. She hugged herself, trying to comfort the pain of not being in contact with him. It had been his presence that pulled her out of that whirlwind of anguish and pain.

Her head throbbed, and she could still feel the ghost of electrical impulses at her fingertips. With a heavy heart, she dragged herself toward the bathroom connected to her room, but when she touched the doorknob, the rustling of the sheets stopped her.

She felt selfish for not wanting to face what was coming, but she didn’t have the strength.

“Oh God, Mia, what happened to you?”

She didn’t turn around; she only glanced over her shoulder as Scott got out of bed, hurrying toward her.

“Nothing, I was sleepwalking and ended up in the lake, that’s all.”

“The lake? What…”

She squeezed her eyes shut as he grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. A thought flashed through her mind. I’m tired of not being able to see what’s in your eyes. She pushed it away immediately, because it wasn’t fair to him.

“I just need a hot shower, Scott. I’m exhausted.”

“Mia, you can’t show up soaking wet and expect me not to worry.”

She raised her hands to put distance between them and saw his face contort in pain. She knew she was pushing him away, and her actions were creating an abyss between them.

“I’m really fine. Logan helped me out of the water, so he’s…”

“Logan?” His voice turned cold, distant. “What the hell was he doing there with you?”

Saving me from myself while you didn’t even notice I was gone. She bit her tongue, not wanting to say it, but she couldn’t stop.

“He saw me leave the house, and when I didn’t answer his calls, he got worried.”

“Worried?” The venom in Scott’s words made her frown. She didn’t know where this was coming from. He crossed his arms, and a look of disbelief spread across his face.

Mia rubbed her forehead, trying to ease the pounding headache that was making it hard to be more understanding with her partner.

“Scott, I can’t deal with this right now. I don’t have the energy. Please. I’ll deal with your jealousy tomorrow, if that’s okay.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line when she realized what she had said. She had no control over her words and didn’t understand where this bitterness was coming from. He just wants to understand and help.

“My jealousy… Sorry I don’t understand what’s happening. This guy shows up, confronts you in your classroom, and then turns up saving you when you’re fainting and pulling you out of frozen lakes. Mia, you don’t even know him. What’s going on?”

She felt weak for a moment as the truth in his words hit her. Tears filled her eyes, and she felt foolish for wanting to cry while arguing with someone she cared about. The silence that followed her words was worse than any shout. In that emptiness, everything was falling apart. And when she finally found her voice, it was broken.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me. And it terrifies me.” She struggled to find the words to describe what she was feeling. “There’s something… inside me that isn’t right, Scott. I can’t control it, I can’t rein it in, and I’m afraid it’ll come out and destroy everything.”

Scott’s features softened, and he tried to reach out to her, but she recoiled, as if fearing her own pain was contagious. She saw something break in his eyes.

“I’ve tried to tell you, to explain that I’m not myself anymore and that Charles isn’t giving me answers, and your stance was to defend him. You didn’t even consider that I might be right.” The dam holding back her tears broke, and she began to sob, hurt. “I tried to come to you, and you downplayed it.”

Scott’s face darkened again.

“Mia, I didn’t downplay it. I just said you had no reason to distrust Charles. He’s never given you one. But you throw yourself into the arms of a stranger.”

The mutant’s frustration caused the lights in the room to flicker. Inside her, a surge of anger and rage ignited, feeding her wilder side, the one that had shattered the lake ice in a burst of power. She felt the atmosphere grow heavy and the ghost of energy in her limbs.

“You’re an idiot, Scott. You’ve always been the Professor’s lapdog. You’ve never even considered disobeying him. ‘Cyclops, do this,’ ‘Summers, handle that,’ ‘Scott, keep the broken girl occupied.’”

“What? Mia, Charles never told me… What I feel for you is real.”

She knew it was true and that she was being cruel to him, but she couldn’t stop. Once again, she had lost control that night.

“If I’ve thrown myself into someone else’s arms, it’s because they didn’t treat me like a damn broken toy. Like something to be cared for and manipulated carefully for fear of it breaking. Scott, I’m not who you thought I was.”

The lights flickered again, and he tried to approach her, but he stepped back when he felt a small shock pass through him.

“We’ll fix this, we’ll find the answer, together. Just like always, okay?”

She wanted to say yes, to stop everything and hug him. She really wanted to trust his words. But the one now trying to break free was her, seeing everything from within, unable to access her body. The beast had taken control and was trying to spread the same pain she felt. She pounded against the wall that held her back but couldn’t return.

“There’s nothing to fix, Scott. I’m not the person you fell in love with anymore.”

“Mia, you’re always going to be that person, no matter what. I don’t understand how everything changed in less than two days, how…”

He saw her eyes light up with an unnatural color, and the words died in his mouth. He somehow knew he was no longer speaking to his girlfriend, that something else had taken her place.

“It didn’t change in just two days, and you thinking that proves me right.” Small flashes of light streaked across her body, wild and uncontrolled. “I’ve always been holding back who I really am to fit into the image you’ve designed for me, but I’m tired of feeling weak.”

He couldn’t respond, unable to find the words to bring her back, to ease her pain.

“Because you think I’m weak, don’t you, Scott? Always being a half-person, always exhausted from keeping part of myself locked away, away from everything so I don’t hurt anyone. Fainting at the slightest provocation because I don’t have the energy to be who I am.”

He extended a hand toward her and wanted to pull back, though she didn’t. Despite everything, he still believed the girl he loved would never hurt him.

“Well, I’m going to show you just a tiny part of what I feel.”

He sensed Mia’s presence in his head. Raw, wild, and damaging. He clutched his head as if trying to soothe the pulsing pain it was causing, and when he finally let it in, the air tasted of fear. His breath caught when terror and confusion struck him. He felt a bubble of anguish in his chest threatening to burst and destroy everything in its path. And beneath it all, an overwhelming sense of loneliness. He fell to his knees in front of her, and tears he couldn’t hold back appeared beneath his glasses.

Mia thrashed within her own mind. She hammered against the mental barrier trapping her and with one final push, she emerged into the light. She immediately cut off the connection with Scott and knelt with him on the floor. Gently, she hugged him and let the spasms of her crying overtake her. With mechanical movements, the mutant wrapped her arms around him, still in shock from what she had felt.

“I had no idea…”

She shook her head, not wanting him to say anything. She clung to him, but didn’t find the peace she had found in other arms. She remained a whirlwind of fury and pain but swallowed it.

“I’m so sorry, Scott. I can’t… I’m not able to… Not anymore.”

He nodded, trying to understand what had happened in such a short time. A clear name appeared in his mind, the one responsible for all the unleashed chaos. Logan.

The room fell silent after Mia’s words, her apology’s echo hanging in the air like a heavy presence. They both remained motionless, her on her knees in front of him, Scott still holding her as if that physical contact could mend what was broken between them. But the electricity in the atmosphere made it impossible.

Mía was frozen, every fiber of her body trembling with a mix of exhaustion and regret. But beneath that wall of emotions, she felt something else: an abyss, dark and unknown, a growing chasm between who she was and what she was meant to be. She knew there was no turning back.

Scott was the first to move. He rose slowly, loosening his grip on her and stepping away. The weight of disappointment was unmistakable on his face, despite his attempts to mask it behind his usual firmness. He didn’t say a word as he took a step back, and she felt the coldness seep into the space where his warmth had been.

He took a deep breath, as if searching for strength to continue. Then he spoke, his voice tense and barely controlled.

“I don’t understand what’s happened to you, Mía. I don’t recognize you anymore…” His voice trembled, frustration and pain struggling to break through. “I thought we were in this together, that we could get through anything. But every day you seem further away. And now…” Silence enveloped him, unable to finish the sentence. He turned completely, facing away from her, as if he couldn’t bear to face her any longer.

She watched him in silence, knowing that any words she said would only make things worse. She had come too far to turn back, and though a part of her wanted to scream at him not to leave, another part knew this was the end. She couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine when her inner world was falling apart. She had lost him, and with him, she had lost a part of herself.

“I need time, Scott. I need to find out who I am… before it’s too late.” Her voice came out in a whisper, almost imperceptible, but the words were final. She knew there was no going back.

He nodded, though he didn’t look at her.

“Find out who you are in Logan’s arms,” he replied finally, his voice now empty, lacking the warmth it used to have. “Maybe you need to separate from me so the guilt doesn’t eat you up inside.”

Mía felt her heart sink at his words, but she said nothing more. The distance between them had grown too great, and she didn’t know how to bridge it. He stood still for a moment longer before walking toward the door. He paused at the threshold, his hand on the doorknob, and turned his head slightly, as if about to say something. But the words never came. Instead, he left the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click, leaving Mía alone in the dim light.

The silence that followed was deafening. The weight of solitude pressed down on her like a leaden slab, crushing her. She tried to hold back her tears, but the tension and sadness overwhelmed her. She sobbed, letting her body shake under the pressure of everything she had been holding back. But the tears didn’t last long; there was something deeper that tears couldn’t heal.

The flickering of the lights returned, a constant reminder of her inability to control what was happening inside her. Sparks flew through the air, small discharges racing around the room, mirroring her inner turmoil.

She slowly got up, stumbling towards the window. The view offered a white, cold, empty landscape, just like how she felt inside. She had broken something in her relationship with Scott, she knew, and now she had to face what came next. Her mind turned to Logan. The memory of his warmth, his unyielding presence at the lake, his ability to understand her without even needing words. But even that was uncertain.

The icy wind stirred the bare branches outside the mansion. A shiver ran down her spine. She was tired of feeling incomplete; she wanted to feel as strong as she had at the lake, needed more. She couldn’t stop the feelings that surged in her head and overwhelmed everything. Once again, she saw her world from a third-person perspective, as if her body didn’t belong to her. I’ll find answers, one way or another. There was that wild, raspy voice that she struggled to recognize as her own. She howled a denial, but she couldn’t stop that beast.

She wiped her tears away with a swipe and took a deep breath, feeling the cold from the window giving her strength. With determined steps, she left the room. She walked through the empty hallways of the mansion, her mind focused on one thing. She tracked the minds in the mansion until she found the one she was looking for. That uncontrolled tangle of thoughts that oozed pain. She followed it to its source.

She reached the door leading to the wing where Logan usually stayed. She hesitated for a second before raising her hand and knocking, her other side struggling to regain control. The hollow sound reverberated in the silence, and she waited.

“Come in,” Logan’s deep, gruff voice called from inside.

She entered the room, closing the door behind her without a word. Logan was there, sitting on the edge of the bed, extinguishing his cigarette with a casual gesture. As she walked in, he noticed a change in her posture, in her expression. Mía’s gaze, usually intense but controlled, was now fierce and determined, as if a storm was about to break inside her.

“Let’s get started,” she said, her voice rougher than usual, carrying an urgency that brooked no argument.

She advanced towards him with determination, but inside, the conflict was palpable. The voice of reason ceased to fight for a moment, distracted by the almost magnetic attraction she felt towards him. Her darker side, now governing her thoughts, lulled her in the deepest part of her mind, using the mutant’s presence to silence her. The desire to find answers in Logan’s memories, to dig into his mind, was irresistible. But to do that, she had to envelop him, capture his full attention.

Logan frowned. Something in her tone, in the energy emanating from her, made him hesitate. He stood up, as if trying to assert his presence and regain control of the situation.

“What’s going on, Mía?” he asked, trying to stay firm.

But before he could react, her darker side had already taken control. She gently pushed him onto the bed, straddling him, her legs wrapping around his sides, her body taking possession of his. The closeness, the warmth of her skin, the scent that seemed to envelop everything around him… it all washed over him like an unstoppable wave.

Logan tried to speak, but his words drowned in the tense air. His mind, always alert, began to fade under the weight of the sensations. The touch of her skin, the warmth of her body on his… it was as if, for the first time in a long while, something inside him relaxed. Suddenly, he felt Mía’s presence in his head, persistent. This time, it wasn’t painful, but rather the opposite.

As she delved deeper into his mind, her presence in the space grew more intense. Her essence, her scent, everything that was Mía, amplified in his head, surrounding him completely. Logan began to breathe harder, his body tense. The bond between them was rising to a level he had never experienced with anyone. He didn’t just feel Mía’s mind in his, but also her physical essence, every beat of her heart, every emotion that coursed through her skin.

The scent of rain, an electric buzz in the air, the heat of her presence. He closed his eyes, fighting to stay grounded. What he’d initially felt for her was now mingling with something deeper, a connection that overwhelmed him, something he struggled to handle. He knew he shouldn’t let things progress, but the intensity of what was happening had him on edge.

His muscles tensed; the control he’d always maintained over himself was slipping away with the touch she had begun to trail through his hair. He felt her in every sense, wrapping around him, making the need to touch her unbearable. He couldn’t focus on anything else. Mía’s mind was a storm in his own, and his body was responding to it in a primal, urgent way. It wasn’t just physical attraction; there was something about her calling to him in a way he couldn’t rationalize.

His heartbeat pounded in his ears, and his self-control was cracking. But beneath all that comfort, something wasn’t right. There was something in the way she looked at him, how her hands rested on his shoulders—it was too... intense. There was more in her eyes than simple attraction. It was a dangerous mix of desire and control.

Logan, confused, let the moment wash over him, but when his thoughts briefly wandered to Scott, something didn’t fit.

“What’s up with Summers?” he asked abruptly, trying to snap back to reality, his words slicing through the silence. It didn’t seem like Mía to be with him like this, at least not while she was still with Scott. But he got no answer. Her gaze darkened, her expression hardened for a moment, as if something inside her had broken. That lack of response made him realize there was more behind this moment.

“Scott?” she finally replied, her voice barely a whisper, running her nails through her hair. She tried to look innocent and almost smiled with satisfaction when she noticed a growl escaping from his throat. She almost had him.

That brief pause was enough for a spark of doubt to ignite in Logan. Something inside him, buried under the layers of sensations Mía had invoked, began to awaken. The question about Scott had started as a casual curiosity, but now, in light of her lack of response, it began to take on a different form in his mind. This wasn’t like her, and for the first time, he started to think that her state wasn’t the result of a simple decision.

The air between them grew thick.

“Mía...” he tried again, this time in a softer tone, trying to reconnect with the part of her he knew.

But she wouldn’t let him finish. She couldn’t lose this battle now, not when she could feel his memories at her fingertips. She leaned in, her lips barely brushing his, and Logan felt the clash of his desires mingled with a darkness that enveloped him. The warm breath on his skin drove him mad, shattering the chains with which he had held back the part of him that had been yearning for her since the first time he touched her in the Danger Room. His body reacted before his mind could sort things out. It was a kiss charged with everything she could offer, a kiss that ensnared him in the same darkness she was falling into.

Logan closed his eyes, letting the emotions engulf him. For a moment, everything felt right. Feeling complete, feeling needed—something he had never fully experienced before. But... there was something else. A bitter aftertaste to it all, as if behind that fullness lay a trap. Anger began to rise from deep within him, but it wasn’t directed at her—it was at what was happening.

Logan struggled to turn his head away, breathing deeply, trying to regain some control.

“This isn’t you, Mía...” he said softly, with that deep yet reassuring voice he always had.

The anger bubbled inside her, tired of people telling her who she should be. For a moment, both versions of her agreed on something—the frustration of being told who to be. She didn’t even know the answer herself; how dared they think they did.

Mía kissed him again, this time with more force, with a passion that came from the depths of her being. She bit his lip with intensity, and Logan had to stifle a groan. He pulled her closer, feeling that the contact between them wasn’t enough. He needed more. The kiss was intense, raw, as if every cell in her body was pouring its desire into him, pushing every boundary.

Through the mental link they shared in that moment, Mía allowed Logan to feel what she was feeling. She wanted him to see her desire, to understand that she wanted him, that this wasn’t just manipulation. But in her haste, in her desperate attempt to distract him, she made a mistake. Unintentionally, she loosened her grip on her rational side, and the girl’s awareness let slip an alert to the mutant, despite the fact that she was enjoying the moment as much as he was. It allowed him to glimpse, even if for a second, that yes, she was using him. That part of her, the part struggling to control everything, saw him as a means to her own ends.

Logan, bewildered by the torrent of emotions and sensations, tried to process it. He felt Mía’s burning desire, but also the cold sting of betrayal. The mix of both shook him, but before he could react, Mía intensified the moment. She used her powers to dig her nails into his back, opening wounds that healed immediately. Logan gasped, enveloped by so many sensations. The blend of pleasure and pain clouded his judgment, and he was on the verge of giving in, of letting his more primal side surface as well.

Finally, with all the willpower he could muster, Logan pulled his face away from hers, breaking the kiss. His breathing was ragged, and his body trembled, still responding to the storm of sensations Mía had unleashed in him. With a low growl, he managed to gently push her back, breaking the physical contact that kept him tethered to her.

“Mía, stop...” His voice was rough, but there was a mix of pleading and determination in it. The look he gave her was intense, a mix of desire and suppressed anger. He couldn’t deny that what she was doing affected him, tempted him, but Logan wasn’t someone who would be dragged along easily.

She looked at him with frustration in her eyes, almost defiant, but there was something more. She knew Logan had seen part of the truth. She knew that, despite her desire, she had let him see her other side, the one that used him for her own ends. And that threw her off balance.

Still trembling, she tried to maintain control over herself, over the situation. She brought a hand to her face, as if trying to remove an invisible mask that was choking her. She wanted to continue, to hold on to that control, but she was now aware of how difficult it was becoming.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, her voice breaking, but her hand trembled as it left his back and stroked her hair. Logan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He knew there was something profound between them, but he also understood that she was torn between her desire and that part of her that controlled her, pushing her to do things she didn’t fully understand.

“You don’t need to do this,” he murmured, placing his hands over hers to stop her. There was no aggression in his gesture, just a firmness indicating that he wouldn’t be dragged along.

The weight of those words fell on them with an intensity he hadn’t expected. She felt his darker side slowly retreating, but not because she wanted it to, but because Logan was demanding it. It was hard to maintain control. It was like an internal current fighting to take over, but every time he looked at him, with eyes full of pain and understanding, something inside her broke a little more.

“It’s easier this way...” she whispered, not sure if she was speaking the truth or just trying to justify what she had done. But the phrase sounded hollow even to her own ears.

“It’s not, Mía.” Logan’s voice was firm, though there was a trace of vulnerability in it. It pained him to see her like this, caught in that internal struggle, and it moved him to want to help her, not just because of the desire he felt, but because of something deeper. A connection that, though he couldn’t explain, he couldn’t ignore.

She finally gave in. She couldn’t keep fighting, not against this. She felt she was losing, not just the internal battle, but something more valuable. The control she had longed for was slipping away, and with it, the darkness that had dominated her every move began to dissipate, slowly, painfully.

Tears started to flow from her eyes before she could stop them. Everything she had tried to hold back was now spilling out. She sobbed uncontrollably, burying her face in Logan’s chest, seeking refuge in the only place she had left.

Logan held her without saying a word. There were no words that could comfort her in that moment, but his warmth, his presence, were enough. He felt Mía’s body shaking, her breathing slowing, until gradually, exhaustion overcame her.

And there, in the mutant’s arms, Mía fell asleep, as he held her close, determined not to let her sink any deeper into the darkness that tormented her so much.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Thank you so much for sending me this!

I am proud of so many of my fics and I'm not even fully sure how to go about this, so... I guess I will just make one rec from each of the fandoms I have written for?

(Warning for some blood in gifs below - but generally there is blood and violence in this fics anyway, so...)

From DC Titans:

No Place Like Home on AO3 - Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Disabled!Reader x Jason Todd. Friends to Lovers. (Poly Soulmates). Smut, Angst, Hurt and Comfort with a Happy Ending. 90k across 7 chapters. When Jason leaves the Titans broken and battered, he gets set on a dangerous path. It's up to you and Gar, the two people who care about him the most, to bring him home.

Oh, another day on the assembly line, everybody better march in time,

Cause the factory don't care why, you been sayin' coulda, shoulda, woulda.

(There's no place like home. There's no place like home.)

If I could recommend one singular fic and say 'this fic encapsulates my style and summarises everything I am proud of when it comes to writing fanfiction' - this would be it.

I have so much to say about this fic and a lot of it I probably have already said it - but basically, this fic is the reason I started writing. I started writing long before I actually wrote this fic, but everything I have ever sought in terms of creative satisfaction came from this fic. This feels like my orgasmic climax in terms of creating things.

And if this fic is something I could be buried with, I would be proud. If this fic is something that people remember me for, I would be so fucking proud. (Which is not likely, because it's from a very small fandom and I know people are gonna remember me for fics from bigger fandoms that are way more popular, and I wish I could shove this fic in the faces of people who read my other popular fics and make them read it lmao.)

If for some reason I had to quit writing right now - I would be most proud of this singular piece. Especially because so much of this fic, the characters, and the dynamics has been inspired by my real life relationship with my lovers, and the reader character was inspired by my struggle with disability and coping with the loss of control as I became more disabled over time - but having my lovers there for me made that loss of control easier to swallow. It's about how trauma can ruin you and letting someone love you when you are broken is one of the hardest things you can do, but one of the most radical and most rewarding. If you ever liked my writing and my style, even if you don't like Titans - please go and read this.

From The Walking Dead:

(I know this gif is sad but it fits the fic so well.)

Hold Me Tight Or Don't on AO3 - Glenn Rhee x Fem!Reader x Maggie Greene. Established Poly Relationship. Smut and Heavy Angst (No Happy Ending). Set during Season 3, Episode 4. 7k (Oneshot). You are bitten by a Walker while trying to help get Glenn and Maggie to safety, and you are facing your last hours of life. And in those last hours, you only have one wish - to have sex with your partners one last time. Luckily for you, they would do anything for you, and they can’t help but to oblige.

Oh no this isn't how our story ends,

So hold me tight, hold me tight. (Or don't.)

This fic has had some more attention lately, since I have been wanting to write for The Walking Dead again, and I just really want to re-state - I fucking love this fic. This idea came to me so randomly and struck me like lighting and I am so happy that this fic came to fruition. This fic represents so many things that I am excited about writing - poly relationships, relating the themes of sex and death, sad endings (I weirdly prefer writing sad or melancholic endings instead of traditional happy ones).

I am really proud of this fic. If you can handle angst, you should go read it.

From Criminal Minds:

From Your Lips on Tumblr - Jennifer Jareau x GN!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 2, Episode 15. 3k (Oneshot). After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankel farm, you take the time to check on her and distract her flustered mind with a loving touch.

So, most of my Criminal Minds fics have done really well and don't need to be recommended just because it's a really popular fandom, but JJ fics don't really do well? Idk why she's not a popular character?

But I love this fic. I had so much fun working on this fic, and working in the religious references and imagery from the show - this fic was just so much fun for me. And I think it needs more love.

From The Last of Us:

IFHY (I Fucking Hate You) on AO3 - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Enemies with Benefits. Smut and Angst. Set during the main events of Part II. 8k (Oneshot). You and Abby truly hate each other. So when you find Abby handcuffed inside an elevator, instead of being kind and just letting her out, you make her pay a certain price for the key.

I fucking hate you - but I love you.

I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled.

You're good at being perfect, we're good at being troubled.

There are so many fics from TLOU that I loved writing and that I'm really proud of, but this one really caught my eye on the list. I love writing about conflict, and I really love writing reader characters who are so bitchy and just cause conflict. (Maybe it's because I'm so nice irl and I never cause conflict, I get out all my internal chaos in writing characters who shit disturb and cause chaos all the time.)

I loved writing this because it's so non-traditional. It's not sappy, it's not romantic - again, it has a really melancholic ending. The characters are so toxic for each other (which is also something I love writing - because it's horrible for relationships irl, but for fiction it's so interesting to explore and observe).

I think this is one of my best, most interesting fics and I really loved doing it.

From Harry Potter:

King For A Day on Tumblr - Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader. (Fem!Reader x Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger). FWB to Poly Lovers. Smut (with slight Angst). Set during Deathly Hallows. 22k (Oneshot). While Horcrux Hunting with your closest friends, the dangerous influence of Slytherin’s Locket causes Ron to snap. And it turns out - he brings on something that everyone in the tent really needed.

You told me think about it - well I did.

Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore.

I'm tired of beggin' for the things that I want.

I'm over sleepin' like a dog on the floor.

Imagine living like a King someday - a single night without a ghost in the walls.

I have spoken about this fic at length, and how this was a spirtual awaken for me - if No Place Like Home was a culmination of everything I am as an artist, then this fic is an echo of those things. Again, I fucking love writing about poly relationships - and I think this fic has one thing that was missing from No Place Like Home. And that is exploring each individual thread of a poly relationship and how someone interacts with each person in the relationship outside of the poly group functioning as a whole. That is definitely a strong suit of this fic.

Also it's amazing filthy nasty smut, which is something I love writing, and something I am really talented at.

From Stranger Things:

I'm Still Standing on AO3 - Nancy Wheeler x Fem Disabled/Chronically Ill Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Angst, Smut, (slight Fluff). Hurt and Comfort. Happy Ending. Set during Season 4. 37k across 3 chapters. You start having horrible waking nightmares, but you don’t want to worry your best friend Nancy by telling her. She’s already occupied trying to chase down a trans-dimensional killer wizard, and you are convinced that the two problems aren’t possibly related.

There's a cold and lonely light that shines from you,

And you wind up like the wreck you hide, behind that mask you use.

This fic is so interesting.

I wrote this fic shortly after Season 4 came out - and even though I had a few fics for Stranger Things that were pretty popular, everyone just collectively ignored this one? And I know for a fact that it is because Nancy is the love interest. I know that if I had picked Steve or Eddie as the love interest for this fic, then this fic would be just as popular as my other ST fics - but because the subject matter is so deeply personal, I connected with the scenes of Nancy kicking ass at the hospital and worked from there.

(And tbh, if I had to choose a male love interest for this concept, I probably would have chosen Billy, because I relate to him on so many deep personal levels.)

Literally everything in this fic is very personal to me - this is all about my own raw traumas. From the abusive father to the extreme medical trauma to the strained caretaker mother, to the older sister who distances herself from it all - even though this is set in the universe of Stranger Things - this is the story of my life. And idk if I would have wanted it to be a more popular fic, because it is so personal? But I am upset that I worked so hard on it and so many parts of it are so raw, and nobody really saw it. I am upset that I had the bravery to post something so personal and it was just - crickets.

There are so many parts of this fic that I am so insanely proud of. The horror sequences are something that I worked so hard on - not just with the emotion of translating my own trauma, but I wanted to make something honestly scary and I wanted to pay tribute to the tension and emotion and visuals of all my favourite horror media - including Stranger Things and the beautifully tense horror aspects of Season 4. And this is another fic that I feel truly, absolutely represents me as a person to my core. And I feel like it's worth reading if you wanna know more about me and who I am.

(And lastly)

From misc. horror fandoms:

No Brainer on AO3 - Derek Cho (Steven Yeun) x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Samara Weaving). Co-Workers to Lovers. Smut. Based on the film Mayhem from 2017. 7k (Oneshot). When you are the last person alive with an elevator key that Derek and Melanie desperately need, you agree to make a trade. Turns out, when what you're asking for is a threesome - you don't drive too hard of a bargain.

This is one of my favourite fics of all time. This is proof that I do not write for popularity - this fic is written for a fandom on AO3 with a total of five fics FIVE (including mine) and 2 of them are about characters from other media experiencing the plot of this movie as an AU, and mine is the only fic that is x reader. So I didn't just fill a niche - I looked where there was no niche and I dug a hole.

But like - Steven Yeun. Yes, I fell in love with Glenn from TWD, but this is a movie where he is also covered in blood, and rather than being Glenn's meek, reserved self (which I love) - he is outraged and swearing and killing and it makes me foam at the mouth. And I am already in love with Samara Weaving from The Babysitter - so this is literally a killer combination.

My bisexual ass did not even finish the film before I was typing out this fic on my phone.

And I am so happy that I wrote it - because sometimes you just need a self indulgent, blood covered smut.

And you guys can read it too if you want <3

[awkward-walking-potato]

PROMPT IDEA? (not x-man x wolverine but it can be if you’d like)

um a y/n that’s part werewolf and logan and y/n share comfort after her first transformation? (it hurt a lot lol)

like i said, can be with another mutant if u don’t want to write that :3

The moon hung heavy in the night sky, a silver orb casting its pale light over the sprawling woods surrounding Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. The mansion was a beacon of safety and learning for so many, but for me, it was a place of constant struggle—struggling to keep the beast within me at bay.

My mutation was a curse as much as it was a gift. While others had powers that could be controlled with practice, mine was tied to something primal, something that ripped through my body with agonizing force every time the full moon rose. Half-werewolf, half-human, I walked the line between both worlds, never fully belonging to either.

Professor Charles Xavier had been patient with me, trying to teach me techniques to manage the transformations, but no amount of mental exercises or meditation could change the fact that every time I shifted, it felt like my entire body was being torn apart. The bones twisted, broke, and reformed, stretching my skin until it felt like it might split at the seams. Every night, I dreaded the transformation, knowing the pain that awaited me.

Tonight, I couldn’t stay in the mansion. I didn’t want the others to hear me scream, to see the raw, feral side of me that emerged when the change took hold. So, I fled to the woods, where the only witnesses would be the trees and the cold wind.

My breath came in ragged gasps as I stumbled through the underbrush, the telltale ache beginning to settle into my bones. The transformation was coming, and there was no stopping it. I fell to my knees, clutching my sides as the first wave of pain hit me, a white-hot agony that stole the breath from my lungs.

The sound of bones breaking filled the air, a sickening crack that echoed through the trees. I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood, trying to muffle the scream that clawed its way up my throat. My hands dug into the earth, fingers curling into the dirt as my body convulsed, the beast within me demanding to be set free.

It felt like hours, though it was probably only minutes, but eventually, the pain subsided, leaving me panting and trembling on the forest floor. My mind was a haze of exhaustion and lingering torment, my body aching from the force of the transformation. I could feel the roughness of fur on my skin, the sharpness of claws where my hands used to be.

But the worst part was the aftermath, the moment when the beast retreated and left me in its wake—broken, naked, and utterly vulnerable. The transformation reversed just as painfully as it began, my bones snapping back into place, muscles tearing and healing all at once. By the time it was over, I was left curled up on the cold ground, shivering and crying from the overwhelming pain and exhaustion.

I didn’t know how long I lay there, tears streaking down my face, my body too weak to move. All I could think about was how much I wanted it to stop—how I wanted to be free of this curse that ripped me apart every time the moon rose.

That’s when I heard him.

The snap of a twig underfoot made me freeze, my heart lurching in my chest. I was too tired to run, too broken to fight, but when I turned my head to see who—or what—was approaching, my fear was replaced by something else. Recognition.

Logan stepped out of the shadows, his usual stoic expression softened by something I couldn’t quite place. He didn’t say anything at first, just took in the sight of me—shivering, naked, and covered in dirt and dried blood. His eyes, usually so hard and guarded, softened with an understanding that pierced through my haze of pain.

“Come on,” he said quietly, kneeling beside me. He shrugged off his jacket, pulling his shirt over his head and handing it to me without a word. The night air was cold, and the warmth of his shirt was a small comfort as I pulled it over my head, the fabric soft against my aching skin.

I tried to speak, to explain, but the words caught in my throat, and all I could manage was a choked sob. Logan’s hand found my shoulder, his touch gentle, but grounding, and he stayed there, waiting until the worst of my trembling had subsided.

“I get it,” he said after a long moment, his voice low and rough. “I know what it’s like to have your body ripped apart, to feel like you’re losing yourself every time the change comes. It ain’t easy.”

I looked up at him, the tears still falling, but something in his words cut through the despair that had settled in my chest. Logan wasn’t one to offer comfort lightly, but there was a sincerity in his tone that told me he understood—maybe better than anyone else could.

��It hurts,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “It hurts so much, and I can’t… I don’t know how to make it stop.”

Logan’s grip on my shoulder tightened just a fraction, enough to let me know he was still there, still with me. “You’re stronger than you think,” he said. “Takes guts to keep goin’ through this, to keep fightin’. But you ain’t gotta do it alone.”

I closed my eyes, letting his words wash over me, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn’t feel completely alone in my struggle. Logan’s presence was a steadying force, something to hold onto when everything else felt like it was slipping away.

“Come on,” he said again, helping me to my feet. My legs were shaky, barely able to hold me up, but Logan’s arm around my waist kept me steady. “Let’s get you back to the mansion. You need rest.”

I nodded, too exhausted to argue, and leaned into him as we made our way through the woods. Each step was painful, but with Logan beside me, the weight of the transformation didn’t feel quite as heavy. He kept a steady pace, never rushing me, his presence a quiet reassurance that I wasn’t alone in this.

By the time we reached the edge of the woods, I was half-asleep, the adrenaline from the transformation wearing off and leaving me drained. Logan carried most of my weight, his arm firm around me, and when I stumbled, he caught me without hesitation.

As we approached the mansion, I felt a flicker of embarrassment—of shame—at being seen like this, so weak and vulnerable. But Logan’s grip on me never wavered, and when I looked up at him, there was no judgment in his eyes, only that same understanding that had been there from the start.

“You’re gonna get through this,” he said quietly, his voice rough but steady. “It ain’t gonna be easy, but you will. And I’ll be here when you need me.”

I didn’t have the strength to respond, but the warmth in my chest was answer enough. Logan was right—I wasn’t alone in this. And with him by my side, I knew I had the strength to keep fighting, no matter how hard it got.

Together, we made our way back into the mansion, leaving the darkness of the woods behind us. And for the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of hope.

[ret1cent]

the space between (pt.2)

josh dun x fem reader

WC: 4,000+

“you didn’t know me but he knew me best, the weight of my brain and the fear of my cold head”

pt 1 here

warnings: this will probably one of the heavier chapters. angst (with comfort finally), brief monologue from reader about struggling with self harm, abusive tendencies in a relationship, (mental and slightly alludes to physical), undertones of alcoholism, language, fighting (verbal and physical), breaking things. (none of this is coming from josh just to be clear). short desc of an anxiety attack.

May 19th, 2016.  

I sit on the couch with Logan, my legs crossed on the soft corduroy. We were eating our pizza and watching some Tv show he was into. Frankly, I had no idea what was going on. When I asked him, he provided a brief description that didn’t really do anything to catch me up on the plot.  

“Oh, you know, it’s about like, detectives in the 60’s.” He had said, his eyes peeled on the screen.  

I look over at him, the white glow of the Tv reflecting in his dark eyes. I sometimes wondered what he was thinking about. Logan has never exactly been an open book, and with our distance recently it had only exaggerated that aspect of him more. I wondered if he felt just as lost in our relationship as I did. He looks over at me, an unreadable expression in his eyes.  

“You know I love you, right?” he asks, startling me out of my head.  

I pause, confused. “Yeah of course… I love you too.”

He smiles gently and looks forward at the Tv, unspeaking as if the interaction never happened.  

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

I lay in bed, the warm fluffy duvet wrapped around my body, heating up my legs and the revealed skin from my sleep tank. Logan’s tenderness for the night seemed to be fleeting as he did not come to bed with me. He stayed in the living room on his phone instead, continuing to drink. I was the one off of work tomorrow, so his lack of sleep would be his own issue.

I reach for my mug on the nightstand, sipping my mint tea, the hot liquid warming my stomach. I scroll through an eBook on my phone, reading until my eyes can no longer stay open. I turned over to put my phone on the charger and closed my eyes. My body slowly relaxes as it recedes into sleep, a kind and gentle escape from the stress of the day.  

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

My dreams took me through blurred scenes of familiarity, like locations I saw in my day-to-day life and the faces of people I had passed by on the streets. Nothing had particularly garnered my interest until I was walking down the streets of my own hometown, Columbus. My feet lead me to a familiar white building, the brick dirty and weathered. A distracted security guard stood at the door but was clearly uncaring about my presence.  I decided to enter, a thumping bass rumbling through my body as I stepped into the small venue.

I look around the room, blurred and unfamiliar faces around me, laughing or chattering excitedly. The room was ill lit, broken fluorescent lights and purple mood lighting being the only source of light. This place is familiar, it looks like the venue I first met Josh at…? The scent of weed and beer fills my nostrils as I navigate through the crowd. Who I was looking for I wasn’t sure, but I seemed to be guided by an instinct or intuition.  

“Excuse me.” I say, squeezing past a couple to get further up to the stage.  

And there he was. Josh was standing right in front of the stage, drink in hand as he leaned against it, watching the band play. While everyone else seemed immersed in their own conversations, he seemed to be the only one actually watching them. I walk over and stand next to him silently, watching the lead singer as he sung words I couldn’t make out.  

“They’re good, aren’t they?” He asks, still looking straight ahead as they played.  

I tried to look closer at the two members playing, but their faces seemed to appear blurred, indistinct. 

“Yeah, they sound great.” I say softly, slightly looking over at him. 

He looks back at me, his brown curls messy and his dark eyes squinting as he smiled. He looked the same as he did the year we met. “You wanna dance?” He asks playfully.  

“What? You know I don’t dance. Since when were you into dancing?” I asked with a laugh.  

“Hey people change!” He defends himself with a laugh. “And you can too!” He says, setting his drink on the edge of the stage. He then quickly takes me by the hand and I yelp in surprise, he smiles devilishly as he takes us into the center of the crowd.  

He starts jumping around to the music and I laugh, doing the same. He looks over and laughs, grabbing my hand. My hand twitches, startled by the contact, but I allow him to take it. He spins me around as if we were ballroom dancing. He then wraps his hands around my shoulders, and I grab onto his, us dramatically swaying back and forth in a fit of giggles. We clearly had no idea what we were doing, but it didn’t matter. Being here with him just felt right. 

He looks at me, holding eye contact as he stops laughing and his pink lips curve into a smile. I smile back.  

“You know, it’s really nice to be with you again.” I say genuinely, rubbing the back of my neck, uncomfortable with the vulnerability I was showing him.   

He opens his mouth, about to say something but then he turns his head back as if someone had shouted his name. I look back too, seeing a girl standing at the entrance with dark hair, long bangs, and a black and white striped long sleeve. 

“Sophia!” He shouts happily, letting go of me to wave to her. He starts to jog away.  

“Wait!” I shout to him, but he doesn’t turn back. He runs up to her, taking her into a hug.  

I bite the inside of my cheek, feeling frustration build up inside my chest. I look back to the stage to look at the band performing again. Their faces seemed to come into view the longer I looked at them. The lead singer, performing with relish and unaware of my attention, was Tyler. More specially, Tyler how he looked in the current year with his longer hair, and was adorned with a black muscle tank. I looked at the drummer and to my horror it was Josh, his hair pink and slick with sweat, him wearing a black sleeveless hoodie. He looks up and meets my gaze, his eyes seemed to hold a million different emotions, yet emptiness at the same time.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

May 20th, 2016. 

I wake with a start to see the familiar ceiling of my room. It was 8:35 in the morning, the sun was shining through the window, giving the room a warm yellow glow. Logan was in our shared bathroom getting ready for work. I rub the sleep out of my eyes, trying to forget the jarring eye contact Josh and I held in my dream. In a way, it felt as if I still had that attention on me in the safety of my room.  

Though the dream was abnormal, it wasn’t unusual for Josh to show up in my dreams. But he was always some obscure background character, it’s been forever since I’ve had a dream centered around him. It felt weird and almost made me feel guilty in a sense. Had my mind been on him that much recently?  

Logan walks into the room, running his hands through his slicked back hair.  

“Morning.” I say gently with a smile.  

“Hey.” He grumbles lowly, avoiding eye contact. 

So, it was just going to be one of those days with him. I guess I couldn’t expect his sweetness to last, it never does. It always comes in waves and recedes when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.  

“Headin’ to work.” he says, grabbing his leather bag without a second look back before he exits the house.  

Way to make an exit, he clearly wasn’t in a good mood today. I get up with a stretch and walk over to my closet, the air chilling against my revealed skin. I grab black leggings, a grey oversized crew neck with a green alien embroidered on it and fuzzy socks.

I always aimed to be as lazy as possible on the few days I got off during the year. Considering it was a rarity; it was a delicacy to me. I walk into the bathroom, the gray tile cold against my bare feet. I slide the door closed and turn on my speaker, deciding I was in the mood for Pure Heroine by Lorde today. I hum as the intro of Tennis Court begins and start the shower, peeling off my pajamas. I stood on my phone until the water warmed up and stepped in. I started with washing my face, then shampooing my hair, closing my eyes as I rubbed the suds into my scalp.  

“Baby be the class clown, I'll be the beauty queen in tears, it’s a new art form showing people how little we care.” I sing softly to the music.  

I relax as the warm water washes the foam out of my hair, feeling almost rebirthed after my stressful week and the bizarre dream. I end the shower with conditioning my hair and washing my body, then step out of the shower. The chill of the frigid air hitting me immediately.  

“Shit shit shit shit...” I whispered shivering, speeding over to grab the fluffy sea green towel hanging on the rack and wrapped myself in a cocoon, waiting for my body to dry. I keep humming along to the album, trying to fill my brain with the sound of the music so I wouldn’t have to think. Once I was fully dried off, I unwrapped myself from the towel, glancing at my naked body in the misted mirror. I catch a glimpse of my arm, my stomach turning as I look at the pink scars that were littered across the skin. The sight always served as an unwelcome reminder of my struggles over the years, an unhealthy coping mechanism to soothe my brain from the pains of my internal battles and emotional pain from my blowout arguments with Logan. I was aware that my reasoning behind them might sound irrational to some, and that’s why these scars had become such a weight of guilt and embarrassment for me. I rub my eyes harshly, as if attempting to reset my brain's stream of consciousness.

Once I fully was dried off, I headed over to the kitchen, making myself coffee and then French toast on the stove. I spent the rest of the morning and evening lounging on the couch, reading and binging Skins until I heard a knock at the door. I look over in confusion. Maybe it was just a mail person? But I couldn't remember any packages I had coming, especially not anything that needed to be signed. Logan should be home soon but at least not for another 10 minutes, plus he has a key, he had no reason to knock. Maybe it was someone trying to sell something.  

I get up from my comfy nest of blankets and pillows with a groan, brushing out my hair with my fingers as I walk to the door. Opening the door was one of my least favorite household activities, I didn’t prefer talking to strangers nor having to talk my way out of a persistent solicitor's wishes for me to buy useless junk. I reluctantly open the door, my heart instantly dropping to my stomach.  

Looking at me was Joshua Dun in the flesh, his brown eyes staring right back into mine, his curly hair was pink just like I had visualized in my dream. I stand there, struck like an idiot, him looking at me with the same look of surprise as if he’s not the one who showed up at my doorstep.  

“(Y/n)...” He says my name in a soft disbelief, as if being introduced to a new concept. I look back at him, my lips parting open without words thought out in response.  

“Josh...? What... What are you doing here?” I asked bewildered, offended in a way that he had the nerve to show up here, acting so unsure.  

“I... I needed to see you again. I need to explain.” He starts with a desperate look, anxiously playing with his fingers.  

I ran my hand over my face. “I…” I start, letting out an exasperated breath. “I don’t need an explanation.” I say, my heart clenching painfully. “I saw your intentions through your actions.” I say, my voice breaking slightly, overwhelmed by the surreal feeling of this situation.  

I had imagined this scenario so many times. A grand apology, tears, flowers and boomboxes held over heads like in the movies. But all I ever received before this moment were distressed text messages from him that slowly dissipated over time.  

I start to close the door, but he stops it.    

“(Y/n) please!” He pleads in the same tone he did the day I walked out of the room, ending our friendship permanently.  

I sigh. “Fine! Let’s hear it. Let’s hear your big apology. I want to know what makes it so important now after 3 years of nothing.” I say defensively, crossing my arms over my chest.  

“Look you’re the best friend I've ever had. These past few years have felt empty without you and no amount of success or money has made me any happier because in the back of my mind I know that you’re supposed to be experiencing it with me! With us...” He says emotionally and I look down at the floor, biting my lip as tears well in my eyes.  

“You know that before Sophia I hadn’t been in any serious relationships. I-I just didn’t even know how exactly I was supposed to be treated. I overlooked her controlling behaviors and her getting physical with me...” He trails off and I look up at him with concerned eyes.  

She was abusive? Throughout their relationship I knew they would fight, I just never realized that was the level it was reaching.  

“...Because I loved her. I get attached to people too easily and it can make me naive. It’s one of my bad habits I've been working on. She was jealous of you and our friendship, and she made me put an end to it, it’s one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I wish I could go back in time and make my old self realize I didn’t have to do it. But I can’t. And that’s why I would do anything now for you to make me realize how sorry I am.”  

“Josh...” I start.  

“I’m serious (Y/n)! I will make a fool out of myself even if it only gives you the slightest idea of how much I regret how everything happened. I would...” He stops, flailing his arm out in thought. “I would fucking run down the street in my underwear right now if that proved it to you!” He says exasperated.  

“Josh.” I say trying to get his attention, fighting the smile that was attempting to creep up my lips.  

“I would sing Justin Bieber’s entire discography opera style for all your neighbors to hear!” Josh says, ignoring my calls for his attention.  

My stubbornness slowly melts away as I look down at the ground, pinching the bridge of my nose trying not to laugh. Josh sees this, visibly elated by the change in my attitude.  

“I would post myself naked on Instagram and put my home address as the caption!” He says, laughing at his own absurdity and I finally crack, also laughing.  

“Jesus Christ dude.” I shake my head with a reluctant smile, looking up at the sky.  

He chuckles. “See... I missed this.” 

I smiled, opening my mouth to respond but then my eyes widened, looking over Josh’s shoulder. Logan’s car had pulled up in front of the house, and if he saw Josh I knew without a doubt that he would freak out. He’s always been the possessive type; he’s gotten into fist fights over men looking at me with the slightest hint of suggestion. I had briefly brought up Josh to him, not in excess since he was already out of my life at that point. But I couldn’t even explain the whole situation between us to Logan because of how visibly jealous he was getting over me bringing up another man.   

The second I uttered Josh’s name he got all snarky asking me “Old boyfriend?” With a look of undeniable envy in his eyes, completely ignoring the countless number of times I referred to him only as an old friend.  

“Josh, you have to go.” I say quickly, crossing my arms over my chest worriedly, watching Logan park and then get out of the car, slowly looking over at us with a silent lividness.   

Josh’s expression falters, completely unaware of what was unfolding behind him. “Oh, I’m sorry... I misread the situation. T-this was invasive of me I shouldn’t have come.” He rambles apologetically but I shake my head quickly, nearly frantic.  

“No no it’s not that m-my boyfriend is here, and I know this is going to make him mad.” I beg quickly, not wanting to put Josh in this position.  

“Oh-” Josh starts and turns around, but it was too late, Logan was already behind him.  

He drops his bag on the ground and slowly strolls over to Josh, getting in his face. “Who the fuck are you?” He asks, his contained anger almost more frightening than if he had exploded right off the bat.

“Look man,” Josh says, receding down the stairs to step away from him, putting his hands in the air as if to silently say ‘I come in peace’ but Logan mirrors his footsteps. “I’m just an old friend of (Y/n)’s, I came by to say hi and that’s all, I was nearby, she didn’t even expect me to visit.” Josh says calmly.  

“You really expect me to believe that shit? Because when I looked over here y'all seemed to be real cozy.” Logan says with a hostile shove to Josh’s shoulder, making him stumble back slightly. Annoyance slowly started to take over Josh’s features.  

“I’m leaving now.” Josh says.  

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me why the fuck you showed up to my house to see my girlfriend.” Logan says, shoving him harder, trying to tick Josh off into acting just as irrationally as he was.  

“Logan stop let’s just go inside.” I plead, starting towards him trying to grab his hand to drag him away for Josh but he smacks my arm away, Josh watches the interaction with deep concern.  

“Don’t do that.” Josh says a protective glint in his eyes as he points to the arm Logan had hit.  

“Oh please prince charming it was a light smack it’s not like I'm fucking abusing her.” He says with a laugh.  

“In what world does it make that ok?” Josh asks, raising his voice.  

“What right do you have to tell me what to do in my relationship?” Logan seethes in response, his irascible personality coming even more into view.

He was going to do something stupid, I just knew it.

“I’m just saying-” Josh attempts to defend himself but Logan cuts him short, finally losing it and socking his face with a punch.  

My eyes widen. “Logan stop it!” I yell louder this time.  

Josh stumbles back, holding his face with one hand and holding himself up against the wall with the other.  

“Dude, what the fuck!” Josh says and Logan lunges at him again, avoiding my attempt to grab him away. This time Josh ducks his punch and shoves him onto the ground.  

“I’m trying to get out of here there’s no reason for this!” Josh says but Logan ignores him, jumping up and knocking Josh onto the ground kneeling above him, trying to hit him.  

Josh removes his arm from Logans grip, swinging a fast lead hook at his face. This causes Logan to tumble off him, Josh getting up and quickly dusting his jeans off.  

I ran up behind Logan when he tried to get up, finally restraining him and holding his arms behind his back. He struggles against me but the grip I have on him is too strong and he’s still dazed from Josh’s punch. I look at Josh in concern, seeing the area around his eye start to turn red. Josh gives me a worried look before he turns away and starts walking down the street, assumably to his car.   

Fuck. I can’t imagine what he must be thinking. Hey Josh! Thanks for finally apologizing to me, now that I’ve started to forgive you, and we finally started to make up, my insane boyfriend is going to try to beat you up without a second thought. Hope that's ok!  I let go of Logan when Josh was out of sight, him breathing hard as he stormed into the house. I let out a shaky sigh as I followed him, picking his bag off the ground and bringing it inside. I find Logan in the kitchen, his back turned and body visibly shaking as he pours gin into a cup, throwing his head back as he drinks it.

“Logan what the hell was that?” I asked in a raised voice.  

He doesn't respond, still shaking as he looks down at the counter.  

“Logan!” I say but then he turns around, throwing his glass onto the kitchen floor, the delicate glass shattering into a million pieces, the clinking of the pieces echoing through the home. I flinch as the shards fly my way and take a quick step away from the mess. My hands start to shake as I look down at the pile of sharp little glass daggers on the ground, a mind-numbing adrenaline taking over my body.  

“Who is he?” Logan shouts.  

“For god's sake he told you himself he’s just an old friend!” I say in disbelief. 

“I don't believe a second of that.” 

“Well quite frankly I don't think I owe any kind explanation to you right now while you’re beating people up and throwing glass on the ground!” I say, throwing my arms in the air and storming out of the kitchen. I get to the front door, grabbing my keys, purse and sliding on my Vans.  

He walks out to the living room. “Where are you going?” he asks fiercely.  

“Leave me alone Logan!” I say, my lip trembling as I slam the door behind me.  

My feet lead me in quick steps down the block, my destination unknown. Do I drive somewhere? Do I call someone? My hand shakes as I attempt to open my phone, messing up the passcode multiple times. I finally open it, clicking on Kass’s contact and pressing call. It takes about a minute before she picks up.  

“Hey sorry I'm at work, are you alright?” She asks.  

“I um... me and Logan got into a fight he’s being kind of crazy right now.” I say, unable to hold back the sad crack in my voice as tears start running down my cheeks.  

“Honey what happened?” Kass asks worriedly, the commotion of noise in the background of her line quieting as she stepped outside.  

“Josh showed up today to apologize to me and L-Logan saw him when he got back from work, and he started a fight with him he hit him. And when I tried to confront Logan about it, he threw a glass cup on the floor.” I say with a shaky breath.  

“What the hell oh my god...” Kass says in disbelief. “Are you safe, do you need to come get you?”  

“I um...” I pause my steps when I look over at a parked black SUV and see Josh sitting behind the wheel, him waving to me to come over with a troubled look in his eyes.  

“I’m sorry I see Josh I’m gonna go talk to him.”  

“Ok, please text me after I wanna make sure you’re ok.”  

“Thank you Kass.” I say wiping the tears from my face, gratitude swelling in my chest. I hung up and walked up to the car, Josh unlocking the door for me to come in. I stepped inside, getting in and Josh looked at me.  

“(Y/n) what happened?” he asks, his brows furrowed as he puts his hand on my shoulder in concern.  

Without saying anything I lean over and wrap my arms around him, him quickly doing the same, his strong hands wrapped around my shoulders, his fingers lightly moving back in forth in a soothing motion. Despite my embarrassment for putting all this sudden emotion onto him, I couldn’t hold back the choked sobs that came out of my throat as uncontrollable tears streamed down my face. My heartbeat picks up and my chest tightens, suddenly it felt impossible to breathe. I start breathing in and out harshly, nearly hyperventilating.  

“Shh it’s ok it’s ok...” Josh whispers quickly, wrapping his arms tighter around me. “I’m here.”  

[rjmhereunderprotest]

Evergreen Evermore

"Sometimes you do get everything you want." Beast Boy says in the opening issue of the "Technis Imperative." A miniseries advertising a fight between the Teen Titans and Justice League, was actually a story reaffirming that the Titans overall are a family. A found family of friends united in the cause of heroism. If there were ever two characters who best emphasized this element of their mythos, it's been Garfield Logan and Raven.

Beast Boy came from a broken family of fellow freaks that even he couldn't find a place in. Raven escaped a destiny thrust on her by an abusive father. And through the Titans they found their true selves, where they belonged among friends and, eventually, found each other.

Beast Boy and Raven are the most popular Teen Titans ship out there. They didn't start out that way, they didn't always love each other, but in the past few decades, that's changed real fast. These two characters found the most unlikely of romances with another, against every sort of odd placed against them. From rival ships to shifting writing teams, but now they're as cemented as Gambit and Rogue or Lois and Clark. And as a person who has been with them since the ship truly took off, it's been a journey. And want you to join me on looking back on it. This is how, if you wait long enough, sometimes... you can get everything you ever wanted.

Origins

Beast Boy and Raven met when Raven first formed the New Teen Titans, the seminal George Perez & Marv Wolfman run that kicked off the golden era/standard of the Teen Titans. Raven formed the Teen Titans to defeat her father, the Demon Lord Trigon. Through a harrowing series of events, battling the evil Hive, facing down Deathstroke, recovering from the betrayal of Terra, the Titans eventually triumphed against Raven's father.

It was a tumultuous period for the team, but for Raven and Beast Boy, it was more about personal affirmation and growth within themselves. There's very little to go on concerning romantic entanglements between the two. The most one can glean is Raven's distrust of Terra as possible jealousy, but that's a stretch. Raven was not ready for such a relationship, she fear her own emotions too much to commit to anyone. Garfield mostly tried to pester her to give in to those emotions, but he could come off as an annoying little brother more often than not.

What's important here is establishing what both were going through at the time. For Beast Boy, it was mostly about becoming comfortable in his own skin around others. For a very long time, his class clown routine was hiding a very sensitive kid, one that tried to keep himself guarded with humor. Gar was very prone to emotional reactions more than anyone as a result. It was why Terra's betrayal in "Judas Contract" hurt him so much, he truly did love her and she felt nothing for him, less than nothing, she secretly hated him.

And yet she has a statue in their hall of fame despite being a psychotic murdering monster, go figure.

Raven, however, was very guarded in that she didn't show anything. Garfield wore his heart on his sleeve, Raven kept it locked up tight, fearing what it do to those around her if she let it loose. When Raven was free of her father's influence, becoming Raven the White as I call her, she tried desperately to engage with those emotions for the first time but was clearly confused about how to react to all of them. For a time she believed she was in love with Dick Grayson, Nightwing, but she was confusing her platonic affection for a friend with romance, which she had felt before now. Raven's struggle has always been trying to connect to those emotions, trying to properly understand them for herself as much as she can for others, being an Empath. So at the time, she was not fully formed into her own sense of self, only being able to explore so late in life.

At this stage, as said before, you can only mostly see Raven and Beast Boy as siblings. However they are not devoid of connection to each other. Raven remained close with all the Titans and relied on Garfield as much as anyone, entrusting him in fact with a part of her soul self during another bout of the Evil Influence of her Daddy. However, the Wolfman/Perez era ends with Beast Boy and Raven as merely that, friends and subsequent eras saw Raven either separated from her body entirely or Beast Boy not on the Teen Titans proper anyway.

And not many people gave it a second thought honestly. Raven wasn't looking for love, Beast Boy was hung up on Terra, she was a bit older than him, he was an immature kid. The Goth and Class Clown, that's all they were in the Teen Titans' little Breakfast Club.

What changed?

Everything.

The Spark Ignites

The Teen Titans cartoon of the early 2000s was where the ball really got rolling. With DC Animation on a roll, the decision to create an anime-influenced show aimed at younger kids to compliment their ongoing made-for-older kids fair, Teen Titans catapulted the team and the characters into an entirely new era. And with it came new dynamics between everyone, Beast Boy and Raven included.

Raven became less shut off, embracing the sarcastic goth element of her archetype. Beast Boy became even more of a comic relief character, emphasizing his funny quirks and silly attitude even greater than the comics had. Raven was, of course, the greatest departure, her powers being upgraded and her relationship with the other members of the team being more reserved, closed off and restrained. Episodes around her focused on her coming out of her shell and interacting, getting to know her new friends, and accepting her emotions. Beast Boy's were generally more comedic outings, suiting his voice actor, Greg Cipes, comedic sensibilities. Not to say he didn't get serious episodes, he did, plenty. But the emphasis on both characters was obvious, they were directly opposed opposites more than ever.

And as a result they kept getting paired off, often in those episodes that allowed Beast Boy to act outside his comedic comfort zone. But outside of those, both characters became an eternal straight/funny man duo. And it was some of the best banter on the show.

Beast Boy seemed to make it his mission to make Raven crack a smile, to laugh at one of his jokes, to find him funny. Raven of course resisted, chastising his frankly childish behavior as just that. A silly distraction she couldn't afford. She could be scary at times in her responses to his antics and yet Beast Boy didn't give up, he kept trying to make a connection with her.

And this was where I came in.

Their interactions on the show were so much fun and so flirtatious coded I couldn't help but see them as romantic partners. And I sought out a community of like-minded individuals who felt the same on an online forum. There we shared our thoughts on the series, how the characters were evolving, and how much they seemed to truly care for each other even as they got on each other's nerves. And in time we sorta formed a little family of our own, as communities often do when they share common interests online. And we had a lot to be interested in because, throughout the years, Beast Boy and Raven always seemed like the highlight of any episode, even if wasn't about either of them.

To go over every moment of the series would get old fast and this would just become one of countless "proof of canon" lists. But I do feel there are specific episodes that helped cement Beast Boy and Raven as romantic interests, more so than others. "Nevermore" is one, where Beast Boy and Cyborg enter Raven's mind and discover just how guarded her emotional state is. Her emotions are in fact split into various personalities within her mindscape, compartmentalized to an extreme degree to keep them under control.

Beast Boy has felt routinely ignored and belittled by Raven since the show started and just can't seem to get her, thinking she just likes being mean to him. But that is far from the case. In fact, we learn from Happy Raven (Pictured above) that she actually DOES find Beast Boy funny. In fact, all of Raven's emotions reveal that she does actually value her friends and cares about their opinions of her, as Sad Raven seems to suggest. That she loves being a hero and saving lives, Brave Raven. But she keeps it all locked away for her own protection as well as others. A fight with Anger Raven, who has gone out of control, actually enables Beast Boy to not only reach a point of understanding with Raven but also allow her to realize she doesn't have to do all this self-care alone anymore. It's the first time both Raven and Beast Boy actually reach common ground and can confidently be viewed as friends.

"Spellbound" is a test for Raven in actually utilizing her emotions and exploring them, but realizing people can and will take advantage of her. She allows a mysterious magic user trapped in one of her books, Malchior, to teach her his knowledge. And while Raven grows happier and more accustomed to her emotions, she also starts growing apart from her friends, cutting them off more and more as she envelops herself in this new relationship. Only realizing when it's too late that Malchior is not only a Dark Magic user, but also not the wizard from the story. He's the dragon and Raven just accidentally freed him.

After the battle atop Titans Tower concludes with the miserable lying dragon locked away again, Beast Boy comes to check on Raven. He's actually been the most concerned about how she's been acting lately. And was a lot more concerned about Raven when Malchior escaped, than the others were initially.

Raven is still feeling hurt, but while the source of her change was bad, Beast Boy doesn't want her to shut down again. Yes, Raven is creepy, but that doesn't mean Beast Boy and the Titans want her to remain in her room locked away. Raven isn't as alone in things as she believes she is. And the Titans, Beast Boy in particular, are there for her. Raven exits her room and hugs Beast Boy in response. The moment is ruined by Cyborg's stankball, but Raven actually participates in the game she earlier derided in the episode. It's obviously a big moment for Raven, allowing her a chance to connect with Beast Boy and show affection and gratitude.

Raven returns the favor actually a few episodes later in "Beast Within", where Beast Boy's animal-shifting abilities suddenly become more feral when he is doused with a chemical. It makes him more violent and angry. Eventually, he turns into a werewolf creature of sorts. At first, it's feared he attacks Raven and kidnaps her, but that's not the case. A villain, Adonis, got doused with similar chemicals and became an identical-looking monster. Beast Boy defended Raven when he attacked the tower and her.

While things are cleared up, Beast Boy is clearly shaken about what was inside of him and how it came out. Raven, possibly recognizing that for once Beast Boy has more in common with her than she thought, tries to comfort him.

Reminding Beast Boy that while that thing is inside him, he controls it. More importantly, even as that monster he still protected her. Learning to control when to let it out is what makes Beast Boy a man, not a monster. He almost ruins the moment himself this time with a joke, but there's still a clear connection forged here. Beast Boy and Raven do understand one another better by this point. Moreso than ever.

That connection would be tested by more than just villains but also rivals of the ship itself. Terra's Introduction to the Series was a major roadblock for some. Unlike her comic counterpart, she was more sympathetic and likable and did not hate the Titans. Her apparent "death" being petrified always presented an out that she could return. Season 4 chose Robin to be Raven's anchor throughout the arc as she battled her demons at last in the face of Trigon's return. This was probably more because they used Slade to be Trigon's herald and Robin and him were archenemies more so than any other Titan. But the idea in many people's minds was that Robin and Raven were the theoretical endgame. Their platonic partnership reads as romantic to some.

This happens a lot honestly, people read things into moments and interactions than what is actually there. They see patterns and they recognize personal preferences. And it always leads to ship wars. BBRae vs RobRae was frankly bigger than BBT, although the latter was persistent and often times aligned with the former rival. It stayed that way for most of season 4 and even after. Frankly, it was somewhat annoying to see Robin seemingly taking over a storyline to a degree that should've been Raven's, just because his archenemy was suddenly the minion of the new one. Even weirder still was seeing a bunch of the build-up concerning Robin and Starfire's relationship put on hold for this season. All the while they tried to insist on this connection with Robin that, had largely, gone ignored until now in favor of bonding with Beast Boy.

However, it was obvious enough in hindsight that we probably had nothing to actually concern ourselves with. It was always going to be Robin and Starfire in the end, there was no doubt. They had invested too much in creating that romance subplot to just abandon it. In fact, sadly that was the actual problem for BBRae in the show, strangely enough. Every romantic possibility was secondary to RobStar in the eyes of the creative team. They didn't discourage other ships, but they didn't see the connections to the same degree others had. To them, Beast Boy and Raven were a sibling dynamic, despite the connection being far from platonic in many people's eyes. But no, Robin and Starfire were the primary romantic concern for the showrunners, they were the teen love story on the series and there was no room for a second.

As for Terra, her connection with Beast Boy was cut off entirely at the show's finale, "Things Change." Terra came back and she didn't seem to remember or want to remember her time with the Titans and Beast Boy didn't understand why she wouldn't. He kept trying to convince her to come back, but she was adamant, that wasn't her life anymore. It never would be. Beast Boy had to accept that, as the final lesson any teenager has to learn, growing up and accepting change. However, fans didn't appreciate the lesson, mostly we were just annoyed everything got cut off in a fade to white before the weird monster the Titans were fighting could be defeated.

It was frustrating, to say the least, to have to deal with the fallout of the finale. BBT shippers were resurgent for a few months, trying to fix things so Terra would be forced to return. One guy did not get the message and repeatedly kept writing stories to force things to go back to how he wanted them. He turned Beast Boy into a rip-off of a Paper Mario villain who almost destroyed reality because his Ex didn't want to get back with him. Yeah, strangely enough not many people found the depiction very sympathetic.

We had our laughs with it, but mostly I was just tired of it all. I wanted to focus on Beast Boy and Raven, but with Terra still around in the background, it always gave ammunition to the what-if scenario. That maybe she could come back.

However, the show was over, and that was beyond all of us now. We had to move forward and accept that. Thankfully, we had other content because while the TV Show's writers weren't interested in any other romance subplot but Starfire and Robin... the comics had started to come around.

Meanwhile, In Another Universe...

Geoff John's run on Teen Titans started around the same time the TV Show did and essentially recreated the same cast you saw there with a few introductions to the team from Young Justice, fresh off the appalling Graduation Day special that basically scuttled their book and the previous Teen Titans series. The run has its ups and downs, I'm not here to claim otherwise, but it is still highly regarded and loved. Especially among BBRae shippers, because it opened the door for them to be comics canon. And this is where our story REALLY begins.

John's first story was in fact about the resurrection of Raven into a new body, younger, more powerful, and in line with what was being planned out for the cartoon. The changes to her powerset and age were clearly an attempt at synergy, but the results were self-evident.

Beast Boy is actually among the first of the Titans to see Raven in her new body and as a result snaps her out of being ensnared by Brother Blood's control. She returns to her friends, the Titans, now truly reborn and free of her father's influence once and for all. While she remains guarded, dark, and goth as ever she isn't nearly as cut off from her emotions. And over the coming issues, it becomes pretty apparent she and Beast Boy were becoming much closer.

And then came issue 30 of the run and this page...

This shook every shipper in the fandom. Geoff Johns just made our ship canon, we honestly couldn't believe it. We felt like we were being listened to, specifically catered to. This was also around the time the show was ending, so the prospect that we could still continue... well it suddenly brought new life to things. From a creative staff on a show that didn't care to the comics suddenly confirming things, to say it was wild to be right there in the thick of it when it happened... it was a weird feeling.

We probably got a bit egotistical, thinking we had willed this into being by how popular the ship was on the show. Truth is Johns had already decided on this well in advance. Comic runs are planned out years ahead of publication. Johns has apparently stated he wanted a romance for young and old fans. Said young fans got Cassie Sandsmark, Wonder Girl, and Connor Kent, Superboy. As holdovers from Young Justice, the fans of which had migrated now to Teen Titans, it just made sense. And while Starfire was on the team, Dick Grayson was not, so Raven and Beast Boy became the natural fit. But at this point, a canon connection, a romantic one, had been established between the two.

However, there's further context to this story and it's not all happy. This page was taking place during a storyline that revealed the gates to the Afterlife had just been left open, allowing a lot of dead people to just come back. Raven and Beast Boy, after this kiss, manage to travel to the underworld and close it back up. Raven is somewhat guarded over the whole kiss thing, but it is confirmed they start up a romance. It is unfortunately not long-lived, because this storyline was the precursor to a much bigger event, Infinite Crisis, because Superboy Prime punching reality caused the door to crack open. Infinite Crisis was also written by Geoff Johns, and the events of that story would lead into One Year Later. That was a line-wide promotion where every comic book jumped one year into the future in-universe. And in that one year of time... Beast Boy and Raven broke up.

The reason took a while to be revealed, but essentially, Beast Boy's attempts at leading the Teen Titans put a strain on their relationship and sadly they ended things after a disastrous mission got a lot of Titans killed. Not Beast Boy's fault mind you, DC kills Teen Titans like it's going out of style. They were fighting Black Adam, it was inevitable.

For a good amount of time, Beast Boy and Raven were off the Titans and it was up in the air that their romance would ever continue considering it ended just as suddenly as it started.

Judd Winick took over a new Titans book a few years later, starring mostly the same team from the cartoon with some additions. But Beast Boy and Raven were back on the same team and that held promise for the couple. The opening storyline once again featured another plot by Trigon, or more accurately his spawn, to complete the apocalypse Raven wimped out on. Raven was understandably very disturbed by the prospect her Pops was back and Beast Boy was more than a little concerned. That storyline ended with her evil self once again being purged, but with Raven fearing her innate evilness could arise again. Beast Boy and Raven continued to interact heavily though. At one point, he even held her hair back while she was puking in a toilet. Only someone who really loves you is going to go that far for you, honestly.

Raven, however, seemed reluctant to return Beast Boy's advances, again because she feared what could happen if she allowed her emotions free reign. So it was the TV Show dynamic all over again but with a more overtly romantic tone. It was obvious Raven had unresolved feelings for Beast Boy, but was reluctant to actually give in to them. That was until issue 100 of "Teen Titans" proper though, when Raven finally confronts why she's been avoiding admitting her feelings for Gar.

A touching moment, the culmination of a whole run of comics dealing with Raven's emotional safeguards and Beast Boy trying to break through them. It took forever, but at last, they were back together. Just like we all wanted!

Too bad this was the final issue before Flashpoint happened and then the New 52 showed up! Because Dan Didio really, REALLY wanted to do that reboot and scuttle the whole damn project! So Flash almost destroys the world through time travel only to sorta save it by kinda fixing it, but actually creating a whole new continuity for everything! Thus, Erasing all this progress with Beast Boy and Raven practically overnight. You win some, you lose some. The two kissing in this final issue was basically a consolation prize. Here's your ship, losers, now enjoy our new gritty reboot! It was kind of a gut punch and the prospect of starting all over again did not feel good.

But there's a benefit to starting fresh... less baggage, a better understanding of what worked and what didn't. And while the writers and editorial weren't ready to go all in on them, Beast Boy and Raven wouldn't be kept apart forever. The question was, what would they become in this new world?

Back to Square One?

It took a long time for Beast Boy and Raven to actually find each other again in the New 52, which was frankly not a good time for any of the Titans. Starfire was written to be a sexual goldfish fantasy palling around with Jason Todd and a Trucker Hat-wearing Roy Harper. Rose Wilson had been outright reverted into a villain. The new Teen Titans team had none of the characters we were familiar with save for maybe Robin but he was Tim Drake, not Dick Grayson. And all of the teen heroes were wrapped up in the stupidity that was Harvest, a dumb-as-rocks villain with confusing motives and goals. It was a shit show that no Titans fan was into but was forced to watch.

As you can see, Garfield was now red, to tie him closer with "The Red" the mystic force counter to "The Green.' The latter controls all plant life whereas the former concerns animals, so if Beast Boy is all about animals and "The Red" is all about animals, then Beast Boy is now red. It didn't last because no one really liked it. The New 52 had an aversion to most colors that weren't edgy like black and red, even Nightwing was infected by it. Eventually they got over the phase though.

Raven herself was on Trigon's side in this continuity, because the New 52 seemed to be big on making more heroes into villains than actually doing anything interesting with the characters they owned. She mind-controlled Beast Boy in this encounter, not exactly a good start to things, but eventually, she did her proper heel-face turn and freed Gar of his mind control.

And this is where things get... weird for the ship. Because strangely enough, despite their rocky start, Beast Boy and Raven remained close. In fact, they're practically joined at the hip. In contrast to their original depiction as friends but fairly distant, they're close friends from the start in this continuity. It is clear at this point that the dynamic has shifted, the universe might be rebooted, but Raven and Beast Boy still care deeply for each other. They're not romantic, but they're basically best friends.

In fact, I'd argue that they're even closer as Raven doesn't hide her feelings around Gar like she used to. Their time together, him encouraging her, caring about her, insisting she isn't alone anymore, has fostered a deep bond. Raven even LAUGHS at his jokes now... openly. They go on missions together, back each other up, he even checks in on her mid-battle! It's kinda insane to see them so in sync so early on in their relationship in this continuity... but it's there.

This continues, Raven and Beast Boy are constantly there for one another. No matter how many twists and turns towards the stupid "The New 52" and later "Rebirth" Era take, Beast Boy is there for Raven and Raven is there for Beast Boy. Saving each other's lives, coaching them through really traumatic situations, and just plain hanging out or texting. They're basically a couple already, they're just not making out, even the other characters start to take notice.

There were attempts to give Raven someone else as a boyfriend. During Damian Wayne's stint as leader of the Titans, more accurately Starfire but let's not sweat details, they tried to set her up with Kid Flash, the new one. That did not last at all, it was rejected by fans and ended around the time Heroes in Crisis basically fucked over the Flash Family in general. It was an experiment that simply did not work and felt more like an attempt to give the New Kid Flash legs because he wasn't connecting as well with the fanbase, especially with the pre-New 52 Wally back.

In fact, I barely remembered it until I started writing this little project, that's how little impact it had on me. That was the problem with a lot of "The New 52's" additions to the canon. They were made with good intentions but with no practical ideas on how to actually make them work. I don't even know if anyone is really that big of a fan of the New Wally West. This isn't to deride the character, it's just... Wally with Raven was so nothing. The precedent was Raven, way back in the Wolfman/Perez days, originally made the first Wally West think he was in love with her using her empathic abilities. This was to get him to join the Titans and it was pretty skeevy of her. Why bring that back in? The point is, it just never rang true and was quickly gone and forgotten once that run on the Titans ended.

By Titans Academy, the dynamic between Gar and Raven takes its next most logical step. With both of them becoming instructors at the school for teen heroes, their relationship basically fosters into a more paternal one, and when you're taking care of kids together...

They've stopped time in this story to have a date with each other... yeah at this point they've stopped kidding themselves. Need I remind you this is over several books, various writers, changes in editorial management, narrative directions, and a ton of events just dropping in to disrupt the ever-chaotic status quo of the DC Universe... and yet NOTHING walks this back. No one is trying to separate them as friends and attempts to stick Raven with someone else do not stick for long. The comics repeatedly insist, despite their differences, they are close and remain close no matter how strange things get.

By this point, even before they start actively dating again, they're canon... again!

How? How did this happen? Despite "The New 52" erasing several decades worth of comic book continuity and history, years separated from one another before they even met, they are basically set up as girlfriend and boyfriend in everything but name! Their dynamic might not be entirely the same, but the relationship has survived the reboot and survived every single new writer and editor and line-wide shakeup thrown at them. And the lone attempt to throw a monkey wrench in the potential romance? Promptly forgotten after being utterly rejected by fans.

The simplest explanation is obvious, the people who grew up with the TV Show in their teens are now in charge and that dynamic stuck with them. It made sense to put these two diametrically opposed characters together and see how it works. And arguably, it's probably the healthiest, most positive relationship in the entire reboot era, which has been saturated with DC screwing the pooch on a lot of popular ships since day one. (Even after Lois got back with Clark, they still kept her bitch personality. Let's not even start with how they handled Batman and Catwoman for a while.)

If it was just the comics though it wouldn't mean much but fans finally upgrading to official writers and making their ship fics real. There is more to this and for that, we have to look to a corner of the fandom that is somewhat... maligned.

Dare to be Stupid

Teen Titans Go! is a show fraught with baggage. The fandom of Teen Titans still remains somewhat split on things. It's the old cast from the original show, voicing the same characters and everything. But now they're no longer doing the serious superhero stories. Now every episode is basically one of the filler one-offs that took time off from the big seasonal arcs. Specifically, the goofy ones that Beast Boy took the lead on. Nothing is taken seriously, the characters have been Flanderized to their hyper-comedic personas, and any semblance of a seasonal arc or overarching narrative is gone in favor of episodic adventures full of silly goofball stuff.

For a time, I did not like the show. Frankly, it somewhat strained things with a good friend of mine. He hadn't been a fan of the original show, he preferred the comics. I was confused why he was so into this new clearly more childish show, but he claimed it was because it was indeed funny and because BBRae was actually canon this time.

I was not initially convinced, saying something to the effect that he was being roped in because of his shipping preferences. He took offense to that and frankly, I was wrong to do so. It wasn't fair. Thankfully it didn't ruin our friendship, mostly because I actually changed my opinion on the show when I saw a clip from its April Fool's episode's ending. In it, they all seemed to conclude their various character arcs. Gar and Raven became engaged, Cyborg planned to leave for the Justice League, Robin became Nightwing and was about to kiss Starfire... and then April Fools!

At that moment, I understood... this show does not care what I think of it. It simply does not care if I think it is stupid or juvenile or dumb. It doesn't give a single shit about my nostalgia or my demands upon it. It is perfectly happy with being itself and what itself... is a silly superhero show for children. And they are having fun making it, all of them... and I realized that hating it for being true to itself was... dumb of me. I can't make the show what I want to be because of what I want. It wouldn't be their show if that's how it went down. My problem wasn't with this show existing, it was the lack of serious superhero cartoons to balance it out, but that wasn't its fault. This team was never gonna make that show, they already made that show. In fact, when I got that show I thought I wanted when Young Justice returned, I ended up hating it because it took itself even more seriously than any superhero show should. Hating TTG! for being what it wants to be is like hating the MCU for making superheroes fun and accessible to everyone. And the last thing I want to be is like one of those MCU haters.

This segways nicely into our main question: But why here? What makes this stupid show something where BBRae can happen, but the in the more serious-minded original cartoon it's ignored despite the chemistry? Simple, it's been long enough that both the writers have realized where the REAL romantic intrigue was with the original cast... and TTG! makes it easier to come to fruition.

I don't watch the show, even if I no longer hate it. The series is just not for me. I'm not sure its style of humor, reminiscent of Spongebob and similar episodic kids' series, works with me as well as it might have back when I was a kid. I'm older now, and my humor preferences have changed. That doesn't make it not funny, it's just not something I'm particularly going to find funny. The point is, this style of humor allows Raven to be a lot less closed off. Now that everyone has shifted somewhat in personality to be more exaggerated, they are more in line with Beast Boy who has not really changed. And as a result Raven, who in the original show had a strong connection to Beast Boy, even if it was platonic, is less sheltered and closed-off. She gets involved more, she laughs more, and she does more weird insane things. It's easier for her to not take things seriously. Therefore, it's easier for her to be with Beast Boy because all the walls are already down.

Similar to what eventually happened in the New 52. The closeness, the similarities, the familiarity, the friendship, the work... it had already been finished! Not in the same sense, but in the general essence of that slow development. Strangely enough, because the show no longer took itself so seriously, Raven had even more in common with Beast Boy than ever despite retaining her differences.

Weirdly enough, it was now Robin and Starfire who became more at odds because Robin's insistence on being cool, mature, and badass has made it harder for him to see Starfire's obvious affection for him. At the same time, he's not in a place to return it despite clearly liking her. Beast Boy is not concerned with that and Raven is not nearly as against the idea as she was in the original show. When Trigon is no longer evil incarnate, but just another asshole animated dad that pops in to create a problem of the week, the dangers of Raven's "unchecked emotions" becomes just another gag.

When everything is a joke stakes don't matter and, as I pointed out, this show is actively against creating real stakes. The Titans in this series regularly fight Santa Claus... he's their biggest villain. Not Slade, Not Trigon, Santa! And from what I can gather it's mostly because he won't give them presents because they are on the naughty list for obvious reasons. None of this can be taken seriously! Raven collects Pony Plushes as a nod to Tara Strong playing Twilight Sparkle around the same time. Beast Boy spends an entire episode with Cyborg only saying the word "Waffle." This is not a series that really cares that much about anything other than having a laugh. Raven's biggest hang-up, being the anti-christ, is no longer a major issue because this series DEFIES the concept of taking anything Superhero related as seriously.

So in that context, when everything is already a joke, what's stopping her from being with Beast Boy, the biggest jokester in the group? Especially when she clearly likes having fun and making jokes as much as the rest of the group? The answer: Nothing! She can be open with her feelings and Beast Boy's immaturity isn't as big of a turn-off because she's just as immature and silly. And time and distance have proven their chemistry was more compelling, so the relationship becoming canon is easier to slot in here than anywhere!

So comics readers and kids now have two versions of this relationship that are canon. But during this push in both mediums, the tidal wave was already building... until the dam just broke completely.

Green and Purple Everywhere!

It wasn't very long until it seemed Beast Boy and Raven were everywhere as a couple. And DC wasn't just letting it happen, they actively encouraged it. Popping up in skins in Fortnite as a promotional stunt is one thing, being introduced together, as romantically involved, was essentially a stamp of approval. A statement that these characters were inexplicably linked. And it was not the only thing they were doing, they were recruiting outright shippers and fans of them into the creative process.

DC pushed a YA Graphic Novel with art by Gabriel Picolo, best known for drawing the Titans as real-world teenagers. Especially BB and Raven... together... constantly. DC at this point clearly considers that these two as a couple is a profitable arrangement. That there is simply enough love for it and engagement with it that it only makes sense to go with it and make money off of it. You do not sell a book like this if you don't think there's an audience for it. Marvel has made bank by teasing people about Peter and MJ's epic love story despite not wanting them to be officially together in the comics... for years now!

And to top it all off... they became a meme! A very ridiculous meme where Raven demands Beast Boy turn into animals for hanky panky, but a meme nonetheless. Once you get to that point the ship is firmly ingrained in pop culture.

Even when they aren't together as a couple, they are together as a dynamic. The live-action Titans show maintained the two as very close friends. While the show never went the extra mile, it was obvious that the chemistry was there and the showrunners wanted to maintain it. Keeping them as close friends and connected together in their sub-plots. The first few episodes basically have him bringing her home to his weird family, The Doom Patrol, and having dinner with them. It goes a bit south from there as I understand, but not from anything Gar does. Beast Boy is presented as Raven's anchor throughout the series an important one that keeps her sane and tethered to the people who care and value her. And apparently, that very close friendship even outlasted Dick and Kory being a thing on this show. Which ended abruptly between seasons because it feels like DC told them to do it more than anything.

I can't say why they didn't just make them romantically linked, especially given that they were becoming canon everywhere else. Perhaps the creative team wanted to show a sorely needed platonic boy-girl friendship uncomplicated by romance. Let's be honest, those are in low supply these days. However, the fact remains they kept them close and, from everything I've read and heard, they are adorable together. So even if they aren't romantic on the show they have been part of why it succeeded so much as one of its more stand-out elements among fans.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that projects that didn't make Raven and Beast Boy close friends at the very least failed more or less. The Reboot of Young Justice didn't even have Raven in it and Beast Boy was dating some princess for a while. That show never retained enough interest in fans and was canceled, again. The Teen Titans animated movies in the New 52 Verse that came out on Blu-Ray and DVD? They tried hooking Raven up with Damian Wayne and they only got together when they basically killed off the whole Animated New 52-Verse completely. Now, in the comics, Damian is dating some skeleton-make-up chick who literally stole his heart from his chest. He got better. The point is he's nowhere near to dating Raven in the comics who is depicted as much older than him by now. There is no push for them to be together. The RobinRaven ship has completely sunk to the bottom at this point.

Hell, Terra didn't even get together with Beast Boy in Young Justice's reboot, and they were doing the whole "Judas Contract" thing with her there too! How do you do "Judas Contract" without Beast Boy getting his heart ripped out by the betrayal of Terra? It's insanity!

The point is... no romance for these two sticks unless they're with each other! DC has all but given up on trying to do anything else. The collective voice of fans, inside and outside of the industry, has made it clear who their OTP is. Maybe it started off in the comics as a lark, and maybe the cartoon never was serious about it, but it doesn't matter in either case! At this point the ship is just synonymous with the Titans, maybe more so than even RobStar. DC has seemingly retired that romantic pairing from service despite the clear equally as huge love for it because they want to consolidate Dick's relationships within the Batfamily. Meaning he has to be with Barabara Gordon. Starfire can never be a part of the Batfamily in their eyes, so she can't be with Dick.

But Garfield and Raven? They have no other ties but the Titans, so here is where they remain, forever together, as their saying goes. Why bother trying to do anything else with them when it's very clear that it's the only romance the fans will ever accept? I mean you could try bringing Terra back as NOT completely evil, but why? It's like resurrecting Gwen Stacey to be with Peter again, it's the most boring choice you could make and everyone has moved on to either the Red Head or Sexy Cat Thief. There are a few who like the Blonde Fighter Ace with the power of the Sun at her fingertips, but I digress. Gushing over Carol Danvers is for another post and we're getting off-topic.

The point is, you don't break up Sue and Reed Richards to stick Sue with Namor, and Beast Boy and Raven are in a far healthier relationship than that marriage will ever be. Why ruin a good thing for something that was never meant to last in either the comics or the cartoon? Raven has been with Garfield longer than Terra EVER was, especially in this new continuity which, thanks to some more events, is basically the old continuity kinda sorta not really. There's no practical reason to break them up at this point when they've proven their longevity.

Reflection

I have to admit, I was cynical for a good portion of this stuff. I was barely paying attention to "The New 52" so a lot of the stuff I pointed out in it went unnoticed. Look it was a bad reboot, you can't completely blame me. But looking back on it all, it was clear that more and more people in the industry saw the same thing fans did. It took time for them to figure it out, plus one misstep with a Kid Flash variant that made no sense and was over with that run, but there it is. Plain to see for everyone, the heart and soul of the Titans is the fact they are family, they love each other and that love is best exemplified by Beast Boy and Raven. So much so it's the cornerstone of the upcoming Titans comic... where they've been living together for a good while now!

They're clearly banging... there's no way they aren't. I'm not sure if he's turning into a horse for it, but they're doing it. There's no room for denial here!

The creative team for the series has even stated the run revolves around this romance, and that there are big plans involving it. Excited to explore their dynamic, calling their relationship the core of the Titans as a team and a book.

It's self-evident now, this is the romance that defines this series. This is a ship reaching Evergreen Tier, on the same scale as Gambit and Rogue or Lois and Clark. You can ship Raven and Beast Boy with anyone else all you want, but it doesn't change what DC Comics has decided is the default... and this is it.

None of this is to gloat though, this hasn't been an attempt to declare victory, although it's hard not to. This is the win, but that's not nearly as important as everything else. This is the culmination of a lot of things, both as a fan and personally. It was through Beast Boy and Raven that I forged friendships with people I wouldn't trade for anything, even if they weren't canon. I've come to know so many wonderful amazing people. People who have been there for me in my bad times and laughed with me in the good, who have helped me grow immensely. And it was because of these two that I found them.

So seeing this, all of this, and taking it into account... really looking at it, it's more than the memory of a goth girl and a class clown with superpowers. It's a huge chunk of my life that, isn't just validated but... immensely emotionally impactful. I would not be the person I am today without BBRae, that's true regardless of how canon it is.

It's true what Beast Boy said, sometimes you can get everything you want. But I'm not talking about a ship, I'm talking about a family of friends, who are irreplaceable in your life. And in so many ways, that's what the Titans have always been, a family of true friends, in both the best and worst ways, but there's no denying that the best of that is Beast Boy and Raven. The truest expression of what the Titans mean to me and so many others. I won so much more than a ship, I won people who care. And that's worth more than anything in my eyes.

So thank you, Beast Boy and Raven, thank you for everything. I look forward to your future together. An evergreen horizon evermore. It was a long road, it was bumpy, it was heartbreaking at times, and even more than a little fraught with drama, but it was an amazing ride. And I can't wait to see what's around the corner next.

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

No Holds Barred Beatdown

From the Mutant AU post Convience Store. The rescue mission doesn't quite go according to plan and desperate people do desperate things.

Remus nearly collided into Dana as he rounded the corner.

"Give me the kid," He ordered.

"Took a shot to the shoulder," Dana explained as they passed off both E23 and the initial memory if the shot.

Remus nodded. "We've got back up en route. We're headed up to New York."

"New York?" Dana ducked under Logan's arm again and began guiding him behind Remus toward their exit.

"X-Mansion's closer than the Foundation," Remus answered. He flicked his wrist upward sending out a line of flames that sent the squad agents fleeing back the way they came. "Guess your dad had some connections."

The fire seemed to extinguish itself as Remus jogged down the corridors, trying to move quickly without jostling his patient too much. He glanced toward his baby brother. "You hanging on for me?"

Logan nodded. "Getting better."

"Charging up?"

"Trying," he panted.

"Logan!" Roman raced up the corridor. "We gotta go now! A fire started in one of the labs-"

"Hey, don't look at me, I've been putting all of mine out. Think you can make me a wheel chair?"

Look out!" Logan shouted and shoved Dana aside. The man who materialized in front of them lunged.

Dana shook her head, trying to clear the sudden fog. "I'm okay," they assured Roman, who had rushed to her side.

Logan hit the ground and slid when Hezekiah tackled him to the ground, pinning his arms by his head.

"Who said you could leave, huh?" He demanded.

Logan growled in frustration and thrashed, struggling to try to break the hold on him.

He laughed at Logan's helplessness. "What's the matter too weak to defend yourself? Or too much of a coward? It's almost a shame you're already so easy to control, it's gonna make it such a waste to keep your partner captive. May as well just kill her now."

The man went stumbling off of Logan with a sickening crack! as a baseball bat struck him across the arm. He screamed, clutching his broken arm.

"Roman, wait!" Dana shouted, tackling him before he could swing again.

Logan dove at the same moment and would have been struck had Dana not intervened.

Armed only with adrenalin and rage and fear Logan gripped fistfuls of Hezekiah's shirt and raised him off the ground before slamming him down again.

Logan struck again and again, despite his lack of defense.

Each blow jarred his arm, reminding him of the chains that had bound him, of the needles and and machinery he'd been attached to, of being tossed around and manhandled like a doll, of being looked like animal or-

"Logan, stop!" Remus barked and shoved E23, screaming into Dana's arms. He ran forward, grabbing his little brother around the chest, and dragging him from the bloodied body he'd been crouched over. Logan kicked wildly, screaming to be let go of, shrieking that Remus didn't understand, he didn't know who that was, what he had done. He struggled against his big brother trying to get back at the still form on the ground that he could barely see beyond the veil of tears over his eyes as he sobbed.

"He's dead!" Remus snapped and Logan finally went still. "He's already dead," he said quietly and held Logan to his chest. "He can't hurt you anymore. He's dead."

Logan collapsed, tears of fear and rage turning into relief and exhaustion, nearly dragging Remus down with him.

Remus held his little brother tightly and he sat on the cold laminate floor, rocking him gently. "You're safe," he murmured into Logan's hair. "You're safe, Lo, it's okay. It's over now. We can go home."

[envihellbender]

Kendall fingering an in and out of consciousness Roman in the hospital after a bad beating by Logan

Characters: Roman Roy, Kendall Roy (Succession)

Content: brocon, noncon, somno, incest, nsft, 18+, parental abuse, injuries

Technically the hospital didn’t allow overnight visitors, but the name Kendall Roy was enough to make the doctors and nurses turn the other way. Kendall had driven his younger brother to the hospital a couple of hours before, bypassing the emergency room queues he got Roman to a doctor immediately. He’d been swearing and yelling the entire way about his father, almost manically. Roman was delirious from a concussion in the passenger seat, Kendall had had to carry him and his fury meant he wasn’t going to wait for a driver. Everything was going far too slowly for his taste. Now, Roman was falling asleep in a hospital bed, and Kendall had slipped in the bed beside him. The doctors said Roman had a concussion, dislocated shoulder, dislocated knee, and a broken wrist, alongside a lot of bruising. A concussion so serious the doctors wanted to keep Roman in overnight rather than having the servants keep an eye on him. When Kendall saw Roman’s thick eyelashes close over his soft brown eyes he ruffled his hair and pressed his lips into his ear.

“Shouldn’t fall asleep with a concussion, Rome,” Kendall whispered as his hands began to run down Roman’s pyjama t-shirt and push underneath it. Roman whined and tried to pull away.

“Nurse said it’s fine, go away,” he mumbled. His eyes growing heavy, he attempted to stay awake to get away from Kendall but it didn’t take long for his breath to grow long and deep. Kendall slipped his hand beneath Roman’s pyjama bottoms and rested for a moment against his soft tuft of brown pubic hair. He stared at Roman’s face looking for any signs of him stirring, he pushed his fingers between Roman labia, brushing against his clit. Roman let out a little whine as his eyelashes fluttered open.

“What’re you doing?” He mumbled, his mouth barely opening as he shuffled away from Kendall, trying to push him away. Kendall started to finger his cunt, it has grown a little wet from his groping but he still met resistance. It did however stop Roman from being able to pull away, with a strong arm gripping him and an index finger painfully intruding on his cunt and curling forwards cruelly, causing Kendall’s long fingernail to scratch inside of him. “Get the fuck off me,” he mumbled. His eyes could barely stay open, the pain in his head clouding over his eyes and making focusing on pushing Kendall away difficult. Roman began falling asleep again even as Kendall began fingering him harder, as he watched Roman grow limp and fall into unconsciousness he felt his cock harden. He looked so sweet, vulnerable, and helpless as he laid there - especially injured and delirious. Kendall pulled out of Roman and clumsily pulled down his pyjama bottoms down his limp body. He pulled them off until he could slide comfortably between Roman’s injured, bruised legs. They could always bend further than his could, he was eerily flexible.

Kendall rubbed the head of his short chubby cock on Roman’s clit, watching him whine in his sleep and his eyes briefly flit open. It wasn’t until Kendall pushed inside Roman’s cunt and groaned on top of him that his eyes snapped open.

“Well, that woke you up,” Kendall gasped as he felt Roman tighten around him, his legs struggle and kick against Kendall.

“Surprised I could feel your gross little chode,” Roman snapped, still half asleep and sluggish. Kendall let out a pleasured moan at Roman’s comment, resulting in Roman’s face twisting in disgust as Kendall began fucking him harder. He didn’t last long, something about seeing his vulnerable younger brother so injured and hurt, seeing him curled up underneath him half away, and hearing him making snide remarks as his brown eyes were filled with hatred. Kendall groaned as his eyes closed and rolled back, his panting growing heavier as he suddenly climaxed. He fell forward on Roman causing him to cry out, swear, and shove Kendall off of him. He just fell back into the bed rail and let out an exhausted laugh as he knew Roman could feel his cum dripping from his sore, used cunt.

[snkts]

IMPRESSED, if you please!

The sun beats down. It’s hot and ruthless, punctuated by the whine of cicadas in the air. Birds chirp in the tree branches. Somewhere in the underbrush, a rodent stirs. And here, the tranquillity is broken by the sound of metal hitting stone. It's an uneven staccato, over and over and over again. Each clink is accentuated by rustling fabric and grunts of effort. It smells of sweat and minerals and blood and leather and dirt and friction-burned skin, chewing tobacco and stale alcohol. It was a familiar smell. Reassuring, even if it wasn’t exactly a bed of roses. There’s the occasional murmur of conversation that flows around him. He doesn’t join in. He never does. Just doesn’t have a whole lot to say. 

“Morning, Logan.” Adam says. He’s an older man, tall, broad in the shoulders, with a thick beard covering his lower jaw. He usually has a smile on his face. Nice guy. Logan grunts. 

“Morning.” It’s half-mumbled, but intelligent enough that Adam nods. 

“Right spot of sunshine, you are.” He teases. Logan nods. 

“Sure am.” He replies. Adam laughs. 

“Will I see you in there?” He said, knocking his shoulder against Logan’s as he walked past. Logan shrugged and turned towards the Foreman's shack. 

“So long as you have eyes, yeah.” He quips, and Adam laughs again. Logan retrieves a mining pick from the shack and takes a moment to stare at the entrance of the mine. 

Time to get to work. 

And work he did. Finding a spot in the mine and breaking rock over and over again. It was repetitive, monotonous work. The same motion, over and over and over. It’s easy to just shut off. Easy to just think of anything else. And he does let his mind wander. He thinks about Rose, and her upcoming marriage. He thinks about how long it’s been since he’s gone hunting, and how he should do that again. He thinks about how he might need to fix the roof at home. He thinks about- 

A creaking sound. Deap and bone-shaking. What was that? 

Logan stops his work and tilts his head. He doesn't move. He hardly even breathes. To his right, Jean-Luc stops, too. 

“Logan?” He asks, slinging his pickaxe over his shoulder. “What are-” 

“Shh.” He holds up a hand. He waits. He listens. He hears the noise again. It’s louder now. He furrowed his brow, and– 

“We have to leave.” He says suddenly.

“What-?” Jean-Luc flinches back. Logan grabbed his arm. 

“Move, now!” He barks. He yanks Jean-Luc after him, already putting boots to earth. “All of you! Get back!” his voice echoes off the cave walls. It's sudden and jarring enough that everyone stops. Logan growls. 

“I said go!” His words are accompanied by another baritone rumble. This time, the others heard it too. 

They move. Most of them run towards him, and that's good. Some run in the other direction. He doesn’t know what happens to most of them. The wet, snapping crunch tells him what happened to some of them. Poor bastards. 

“Ed!” That was Adam. Edward had been his cousin. Emphasis on the ‘had been’. Adam hadn’t seemed to have figured that part out yet. He raced towards the rubble, pulse racing, eyes wild. “Ed, Edward!” 

“Hey!” Logan lets Jean-Luc and dives for Adam. “Get away from there!” It’s not a struggle to move Adam back. Logan has always been stronger. (He's stronger than everyone here. That’s just what comes from living on the frontier, instead of in towns like this. He’d be loathe to call these men soft, but–) 

“Ed’s under there!” Adam snaps back. “I’m not leaving him, Logan! I can’t” He tugs free and moves to the rocks again. “He’s family!” 

“He’s dead!” Logan’s run out of patience. Every second they spend in this cave is another second they haven’t spent getting out. Wasted air. Wasted time. Wasted energy. And pulling at those rocks might cause another cave in. 

Then, they’d all be screwed. 

“You don’t know that!” Adam shouted. He was frantic. Eyes wild, pulse elevated. So different from the jovial man he usually was. He looked like an animal. Pulling at the rubble like a trapped fox gnaws at its leg. Both equally desperate, and both equally futile. Both equally doomed.

“Like hell, I don’t!” He says back. “Noone survives that! We have to move!” He turns back to Jean-Luc. “Get everyone else rounded up. I’ll handle him.” 

“Uh- right.” Jean-Luc blinked and hesitated. He blinked again and the situation caught up to him. “Right!” He turned and started speaking in a fast mix of French and English - Franglais - to the rest of the surviving miners. Some of them yelled back. Some of them agreed with him readily. Some of them just stood there. The entire cavern reeked of fear and blood and uncertainty. He had to tune them out. Adam losing his mind would only make this worse. 

“C’mon, Adam.” He says in a low voice. “We gotta go.” Adam is trying to pull at a rock. He strains, grunts, rolls the rock off the pile. Logan growls. One rock is fine, sure. It doesn’t do anything. It’s a fucking rock. The problem is, the cave in is made of a lot of fucking rocks. Each one works to hold up all the others. The more they were pulled at, the more likely it was that they were gonna start another collapse. 

“Eddie…” Adam said quietly. “C’mon, Eddie. We gotta get to work.” Ah, shit. He was out of it. That wasn’t good. Logan sighed and rocked back on his heels, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“Okay.” He says to himself. “Sorry, Adam.” He wasn't. He tears back and slaps Adam across the face. Not full-force, didn't wanna kill him, but hard enough it echoed. Adam’s head snapped back. He jerked backwards and staggered. Oh, whoops. Maybe that was too hard. Oh well. 

“Good lord, Logan!” That was Peter. Logan rolls his eyes and focuses once again on Adam. 

“Snap out of it.” He barked. Adam blinked, stared, blinked again, shook his head, then swung a fist of his own. He missed.

Widely. 

It wasn’t his fault. It was dark, and he was hysteric, but he missed by a longshot and Logan snarled. Irritation spiked white hot in the back of his mind and it was an effort to reel it back in. 

“I said, snap out of it!” He grabs Adam by the lapels and shoved him back. “You’re gonna get us all killed!” 

“Like Eddie?!” Adam snapped back. Logan groaned. 

“Yes, like fucking Eddie!” He said. “Ed’s gone, Adam! He’s dead! Dead as dirt! We can't do anything for him now, but the rest of us are still drawing breath! You wanna keep it that way? You come with us!” He doesn’t wait for a response. He just leaves. 

“Logan!” That’s Trout- well, Michael, but Trout to the boys. “Where are you going?” 

“I told you.” Logan huffs, shouldering his way past the gathered men into the darkness. “I’m getting out of here. You either come with me, or you can die here.” He got all of three steps before Trout grabbed at his arm. 

“Go where?” He asked, words slurring through his missing teeth. “Deeper into the mine? You’re crazy!” Logan growled again.

“You think they're gonna dig us out?” He says without stopping, tugging his arm free. “All the way down here? We don’t know how much of the tunnel fell in. They won’t bother. Might send someone to tell the Missus if you're lucky.” He steps into the darkness and stops. He sighs.  

“Listen. I can’t promise that I’ll get any of you out. But your chances with me are a hell of a lot better than if you just sit around and wait to die.” 

“I’m coming with you.” Jean-Luc says. He’s got one of the other men hanging on his shoulder - probably injured in the chaos. He was still alert, though. … One of the new guys. What did they call him? Stumps? Stumpy? Something like that. He’d been a logger before he came to the mines. He squinted a lot when he looked at things. Weird person. Not bad, just weird. 

“‘M comin’ too.” Stumpy rasped. “Don’t feel like rottin’ here.” There were a few more scattered murmurs of agreement. Logan didn’t wait to see who they were. They were already burning precious oil. There's a collection of footsteps behind him as he walks. Some more whispers. They echo off the walls of the mine. It’s loud. It’s annoying. Logan keeps a scowl on his face as he walks. He doesn’t have any direction at first. He’s mostly just guessing. Going where his feet take him. And then he stops again. … Something smells different. Someone bumps into his back, and he barely notices. He narrows his eyes and sniffs the air once, twice… Three times. Yeah, it’s faint, but it’s there. Wind currents - already weird enough - and, distantly, the scent of growing things. Plants. 

Outside. 

“What’re you-” 

“This way.” Logan cuts off the chatter behind him. “Stay close.” He starts moving again. 

“The hell was that?” Stumpy rasped. “What do you mean, this way?” A few more voices joined the dissent. Logan growled. They didn't have time for this. He wanted out. Out of here. Away from these people. In the fresh air. Back home with Smitty and Rose. Just anywhere but trapped in this fucking mine. 

“Any of you lot hunters?” He asked, turning around. A beat of silence. “That's what I thought.” 

“I don't like this.” Someone in the back muttered. Logan could smell their anxiety, and it mingled with the scent of freedom in a way that curled his lip. “Feels like we’re walking in circles.” Logan did his best to ignore them. They're not helping the situation and he's tired of yelling in here - the echoes make his head hurt. 

“What do you think?” More murmurs. Logan swallowed a growl. 

“Adam?” Someone - Peter, he thinks - asks. Adam doesn’t answer. 

“You can find your own way if you want.” Logan snaps. “If you’re following me, we’re turning left.” And he does. He’s followed by most of the footsteps. After some hesitation and more muttering, the rest come too. 

“Logan.” Jean-Luc had been quiet most of this time, and finally spoke up. “Do you really know where you're going?” Logan grunted. 

“You too?” He asked. He heard Jean-Luc shake his head. 

“No, no, not like that.” He protested. “It’s just… Our lantern is running very low.” Logan listened with his head cocked a second longer, then smirked. Perfect timing. 

“Can I see it for a moment?” He asked, holding out his hand. Jean-Luc handed the lantern over. Logan nodded his thanks and blew the flame out. The tunnels filled with surprised shouts and loud protests that quickly fizzled out.

“See?” His features are still visible in the dim light, and he’s not hiding how smug he is. “Look up; there’s our way out.” They all look up. There’s a few beats of silence. 

“The boy’s gone mad.” Trout mutters. “We’re going to die.”

“There's no way we can fit through there.” Peter agreed. “Please tell me you're joking.” 

“That's not it.” Logan began, but they weren't listening. 

“We’re doomed.” Stumpy slurred. “We’re dying here.” 

“You’re not gonna-” Logan tries again. 

“I knew it.” Logan didn’t care who that was. It didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered is they weren’t listening–  “Shoulda stayed back at the-”

“That’s enough.” It’s not Logan who says that, but it is Logan who’s so surprised he doesn’t protest. He blinks as Adam shoves forward, still haggard and with a bruise blooming dark across his jaw, but more coherent than he had been in a while. “You boys gotta hold your tongue. That attitude doesn’t help anyone.” He turns to Logan, who nods his gratitude. “What are you thinking?” 

“The soil and rocks are loose here.” Logan wasn't about to waste the time he'd been given by stalling. “Probably got knocked around in whatever tremor caused the cave in. It won’t be hard to push ‘em aside and make an exit - even if it's just enough for some of the smaller ones to slip out and come back with powder. But I don't think that’ll be a problem.” Another moment of silence. 

“Bad day to eat that extra lunch, Trout.” Peter muttered. 

“Shut your trap, Petey.” Trout sulks. 

“Sounds an awful lot like yappin’, and not a lot like digging.” Logan glared, turning back to their potential exit route. 

“You heard him.” Adam says, and Jean-Luc nods. 

“Let’s get out of here.” 

And they did. It took over an hour of digging, manoeuvring, clambering over one another, but eventually, they all made it up onto the outer surface of the mine. They climbed and stumbled and fell, exhausted, back to better ground. And they were part way back to the town when someone ahead yelled ‘there!’, and then there were footsteps and Logan suddenly had Smitty’s hands on his shoulders as a fresh group of men from town were yelling and shouting and cursing their surprise. 

“Holy God, boy,” Smitty was saying, “I thought you were dead!” 

“We would’ve been.” Another hand on his shoulder and Logan looked up to exchange a weary smile with Adam. “If it weren’t for our Wolverine.”